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stargirlfics · 5 months

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So Much Goddamn Talkin’

Joel Miller x Black F!Reader

Summary: Sometimes Joel has to quiet the noise in your head. Luckily he’s quite good at that.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, post outbreak—Jackson era, mutual pining, friends to lovers vibe, established relationship, some mentions of anxiety, feelings and fluff, competency kink, soft dom!joel vibes, smut: oral (both receiving), fingering, soft intense PiV, unprotected sex, praise kink, daddy kink, come marking

*reader is written and described as black but anyone is welcome and encouraged to read!

Word Count: 6k

Currently obsessed with the thought of older, domestic Joel in a relationship and couldn’t stop myself from getting carried away! Enjoy!

It wasn’t like this was the first time you’d ever spoken to Joel.

On the contrary, what had started as a timid friendship became something else entirely with one spontaneous kiss that only the stars bore witness to that night.

A silly dream of romance had landed right in your lap despite the crumbling of the old world behind you, taking everything with it and yet they took your breath away constantly, like a whirlwind, two grounding anchors were now tethered to your heart and their names were Joel and Ellie.

So why were you so nervous?

Sighing softly, you decided to blame it on the watchful glances Joel was giving you from across the yard, distracting you from the book you were reading. Eye contact with him could feel like the most searing heat, spreading like wildfire and at the same time the deepest depths of comfort.

Not always being a man of many words, the things he could express with a simple look or the weight of a hand fascinated you, made you fall so dangerously hard and with a certainty you’d never felt before.

Therefore you reasoned it simply couldn’t be your fault for being distracted and wanting him so much right now. Not when he made you feel this way without even having to try very hard.

You just needed to take a moment to soak it all in, a blooming hope carried in on the breeze now that it was the beginning of spring in Jackson, the wildflowers and planted seeds starting to sprout, and the soil and your own souls teeming with life after so long spent just surviving. Now there was space for healing.

Space for you to sit in the rocking chair Joel had worked on for months as a birthday present to you, or watch him get around to all the house projects (because once a contractor always a contractor) and strum out the prettiest chords on his guitar late in the evenings out on the porch.

This felt more like living and you never wasted a moment to covet it.

“You’re doing an awful lot of staring, Miller.” You looked up from the same page for the fifth time to catch him already looking your way.

He blinked and put another nail into the wood post he was working on.

“Hm, well damn right I am when you look the way you do. Now if I told you it’s been at least ten minutes since you’ve turned a page in that book you just might have to admit you’ve been starin’ too.”

There was that little smirk you knew so well, dancing on his lips as if he knew just how much it would drive you crazy, the confirmation that you hadn’t been subtle in the slightest either.

“Well, you’re out here giving me a show.” You make a point to turn to the next page then, looking away before he could throw you a look at the sass in your tone.

He was right of course but what he didn’t know was that reading had started all this to begin with.

The tattered novel had been a surprise find on a patrol one day and came with an unexpected eroticism, bits of dialogue and tantalizing imagery on the page you were stuck on making your mind wander and wonder.

It’s why you felt a little nervous, caught off guard, suddenly wishing you were in bed and underneath him.

He flashes his teeth at you, that smirk widening into a smile at your reply, his attention returning to the tools in his hands but your own continued to linger. Remembering.

A few nights before in particular, when he was fucking into you so deep you had to bite the sheets to keep your moans down. You could still picture the definition of his arms as they cradled you and kept the headboard from colliding into the wall at the same time.

Or how good you knew it felt when his broad palms swat across your ass, never failing to make you yield to him with such eagerness.

You wished you could have your hands on him now, petting, feeling, showing him how much he was desired and cared for, how much you wanted to be filled by him, stretched out and aching with nothing but his name in your mind and on the tip of your tongue for hours.

Those stray thoughts had you turning back a page, leaning into the slow burning fire lit underneath you.

Still unsure of how to initiate these desires, you didn’t want to distract him from something he’d been trying to get around to doing for awhile and at the same time felt a thrill at the idea of tugging him away, leading him to bed.

With some hesitation you decided to bide your time for a bit longer, getting caught up in words that made you squirm imagining Joel doing and saying them.

God, you weren’t sure how much more of this you could keep up, feeling the slick pooling of arousal between your thighs, the way you wanted to grind against nothing already.

Joel finished repairing the post in no time and moved on to patch up a hole in the wall of the old shed, unaware of your internal dilemma.

Eventually he gathered up his tools and stored them away, told you he was gonna head in and wash up but that you should keep relaxing out here for as long as you wanted and he’d get started on preparing things for dinner later.

He left you with a kiss to your temple and the lingering familiarity of his touch. Handsome and sweet, he was going to be the death of you.

Your mind felt too restless to keep sitting but you took him up on the suggestion just for awhile longer, trying to find the right way to move things in the direction you wanted. Family dinner wasn’t for another four hours and Ellie would be here a bit early but there was still time and you wanted to make the most of it.

So you finished off another chapter and finally closed the novel, ushered inside with the echo of birdsongs and the steady thumping of your heart in your ribs.

–

Joel had been so sure you hadn’t noticed his repeated stares as much as he’d noticed yours, bowing his head under the warm spray of the shower he could only think of how pretty you looked sitting there while he worked, fond of the fact that you liked to be next to him even if he was occupied.

At first he couldn’t wrap his head around it and was almost too unnerved and bewildered by the fact that you took such an interest.

Not at all used to someone touching him or looking at him like he was their entire world but that’s the only way you looked at him and as much as he had tried to be measured, tried not to get attached, he had come around to the idea of a relationship again.

Loving people was frightening, something he felt he’d lost the ability to do properly after all these years, all the blood staining his hands and his conscience.

He had lost so much, seen too much death and feared he would only bring ruin, that he would lose her too, until you came along and turned everything he thought he knew on its head.

Oh what secrets and stories of loss he had told you in the quiet of night, when old nightmares and new guilts collided and kept him from sleeping though that was much less these days now that you slept by his side every night.

It had been a long time since he’d shared his bed and now it made him smile thinking of how natural it felt to wake up next to you, how easy it was to be around you, in the quiet moments he could see how the foundations you’d both built together had been made solid and steadfast over time.

Silly to think how he fretted over ruining his friendship with you all that time ago, the way everyone was sick of him in the days leading up to when he would finally ask if you were interested because they all knew he had nothing to worry about and those worries in his head were swiftly put to rest when you tugged at his shirt to pull him closer and asked what had taken him so long.

He’d never forget that moment.

Joel thought then that this was the moment he knew but quickly learned there would actually be a collection of moments–several times a day–that would remind him just how hooked on you he really was.

Like the times he showed his age and your sweet giggles and clever retorts always followed soon after, or how much he’s come to love the summertime because your brown skin basked in the sunlight is like art to him and he relishes every chance he gets to see you exactly as you are.

You brought a fullness and meaning to life here, encouraging him to slow down, to breathe. Taking care of one another made him stronger, nourished in ways he didn’t think were possible.

“Honey.”

He grits the word out like he’s trying to call you up here, reminded of how lucky he felt to have you, to be so connected.

Watching you walk around batting your eyes acting like you don’t know that it’s the pretty, round edges of your nose, the smile lines, the plush of your hips and that glowing thing inside you beating in your chest that drives him crazy.

Simply put, he was impressed by you. Constantly. You could handle yourself, skilled in your own right, already handy with weapons long before he was in your life and even more proficient now, deadly, with the things he’d taught you since.

You were resourceful and calm in tricky situations or when quick medical training was needed and yet none of the carnage of infected and worse terrors ever changed the soft way you tended to people, almost like you couldn’t help but give a little extra love.

And you had certainly spared many an ounce of that love for him; he’d forgotten how good it felt to smile this much over someone, can’t remember the last time he felt this way and definitely can’t remember the last time he’s seen his Ellie look at someone with such admiration either.

Everything about you captured his attention and he was grateful to be able to live some sort of life again after so much heartache, after believing he could never have these kinds of things for himself.

Those hands of his could scorch the Earth but you made him understand they could build things too, could show love and give pleasure just as well and just as fiercely.

Sometimes he wasn’t sure if he was doing a good job of it.

All he knew was that he never wanted to let you go and that was enough for him.

–

When you venture into the bedroom you find him getting dressed, hair tousled from being towel dried, another wave of aching bloomed in your core as you thank yourself for having nudged him into letting it grow out a bit during the colder months.

He looked so handsome doing nothing at all in particular you were sure you’d implode if you didn’t just come out with it, you just hope he wouldn’t mind doing some undressing again.

“Hey, honey.”

His voice was low and gentle, the familiar pet name in his usual smooth rasp made you stride forward, sending you surging into his arms so that you were squished against his chest. He tilted his head at you just slightly in question before you were pressing your lips to his.

Your mouths met so tenderly at first, fingertips bursting with a nervous energy as they reached for his shirt, grasping needily as you lost yourself in the slow ease of the way he kissed you back.

But a little spark of anxiety makes you tense, overthinking the kiss, feeling a little silly for just how turned on you were, how much he could see it written all over you, dripping quite literally in desperation even if you tried to reason with yourself that you knew there wasn’t anything wrong with that.

“J-Joel…shit,” you whined and huffed through sloppy kisses, slowly finding yourself being walked backwards and held firm against the closest wall, “Oh…we don’t have to do this if-”

“The hell are you goin’ on about?” Joel grumbled against the column of your neck and all ability to articulate went out the window.

Rationally you knew it was a pretty good indication he wasn’t bothered by the spontaneity from the way those strong hands of his were already underneath your shirt, pinching almost in the haste to grip your flesh but you were already overthinking and it held persistent.

“Just…if you’re tired, I understand. We can wait till tonight. I don’t want you to feel obligated.” Your words were huffed out in nervous gasps, trying to will your knees not buckle when his scruff teased a swipe across your jaw.

Joel pulled back then so you’d have to look at him, knowing the anxious flit of your lashes well.

He knew what to watch for, patient when you needed reassurance that you were free to run wild with your desires, that he was never tired of having you bare and wrapped around him at any hour of the day but this was of no consequence, he’d make sure you knew where he stood.

Shaking his head, he doesn’t give you more than a moment to suck in a breath before his hands leave your waist to hold your face.

“So much goddamn talkin’, sweetheart,” the words are a heavy growl against your lips in between heavier kisses, “Think I need to remind you of some things and put those thoughts out of your mind, yeah?”

Your whole body felt hot, flushed with desire and aching for whatever he was going to do to remind you, nodding before your tongue could catch up with your agreeing thoughts.

“Let me show you.” Joel caged you in against the wall, broad shoulders blocking everything else out.

The steady rise and fall of his chest became your focal point and new arousal sparked at his attentiveness, so easily able to soothe, to make you unravel for him.

“Please, I want you so much.” Your softly sighed plea turned into a whine when you were crushed to his chest again and this time there were no reservations to the embrace.

He was so good at this, making you burn for him so often you wondered sometimes how you were able to get anything done.

Hungry fingers pushed the collar of his flannel back, jeans already unbuttoned for your wandering attention to latch onto and he encouraged it with a push of his hips against yours.

It’s an easy movement, dropping to your knees like you’ve done a hundred times before to see how just a simple kiss already had him stiff and straining against denim, teasing the kind of thickness you so badly wanted to fill your throat with.

Your mouth watered, fingers outstretched to wrap around hot skin the moment his cock was free, unable to stop yourself now. Joel’s rough sigh following the steady pump of your hands made you glance up, meeting the intensity of his gaze and you held it there for a moment before your tongue was tasting him.

“Look at you...already have it in your mouth like the quick learner you are,” He hissed through his teeth and you could feel where he throbs against the hollow of your cheek.

Pride swells in your chest from the praise, knowing the tone of his voice meant the restrained edge of patience from letting you tease him back was slipping.

You could feel it in the flex of muscle underneath your hands where they’re braced on his thighs and you hoped he was proud watching your lips stretch around him, head bobbing nice and easy the way you know he liked it.

You’re unconcerned with being neat about it, slicking him up with your mouth and still trying to take him deeper, trying to take all of him in fact.

You liked to flirt with dreams of your nose being pressed snug against Joel’s pelvis, wanted to feel him through your entire chest even if burned because there was sweetness in being deprived of oxygen like that. Call it an unwavering trust.

You gave in to the feeling and kept your eyes focused upwards on him, trying to relax your jaw despite all the anticipation, happy to let him take control.

“That’s it, that’s my girl. Stay just like that.”

Listening is hardly even a thought when you’ve hung onto his every word, every movement, not minding the strain in your jaw as he rocked his hips into the wet heat of your mouth. Tongue swirling over his shaft, the thick head of him, desperate to earn it, to make him curse and growl out your name.

The pressure of his fingers against your jaw and then the back of your head had you moaning, trying to speak while he fucks your mouth.

“P-please, make me take it.” Your heart lept with each languid thrust of his hips sliding deep so he could feel the softening of your throat.

He’d give you whatever you asked for when you whimpered like that.

Firm and sweet was his grip, raspy grunts and cursed out praises that flowed from his mouth even sweeter to your ears as your tongue slid over the soft, sensitive head of his cock and back down the length of him.

You’re insatiable and any anxious thoughts still rattling around in your mind were quickly fading, replaced with his touch, his smell, his taste. The salty smear on your taste buds had you pressing your thighs together, craving relief.

“Good girl, yeah that’s it. Startin’ to understand now, sweetheart?”

Your head tipped forward and the only response you could give was a heady moan, doing your best to nod knowing how much he’d like seeing that, the tears already welling along your lashes from the effort but you didn’t mind.

Knowing you made him tip his head back, a heavy palm braced against the wall above your head while he grunted out curses and filthier praise made you feel a dozen more times ravenous, encouraging him to keep going with sloppy, wet whimpers that were barely held back from your kiss swollen lips, stretched over every thick inch of him you could take.

“Love watching you choke on it, honey. Fuck that's good, show me how much you can fit.”

The sight of him is something you hoped to never forget, searching for and finding the slight snarl of his lips when the tip hits the back of your mouth and the flex of his biceps when you slide your tongue around to lick the underside of him.

Joel could barely hold himself back, the urge to bury himself in your throat almost overwhelming but he wanted more than that, he wanted to reward you for listening so well, for how much you make him feel.

It had been building all day and he knew you had to feel it too. He was loath to pull you off his cock, an ache through his chest at your desperate cries from the loss of contact but he was quick to remedy that with a searing kiss.

You melt and are grateful your knees are already on the floor when your tongue meets his. It was so messy, hungry and neither of you cared.

“Get on the bed. Go on, darlin’.” Joel’s voice sounded like warm syrup, covering you in adoring instruction, taking you and leading you where he knows is best.

And god do you love when he was in this mood, nothing but a filthy edge to his affections.

So you complied, ignoring the twinge in your tummy as you moved to the bed, sprawling out across sheets that smell like the both of you.

He watches you get comfortable, loosening a few buttons and those jeans finally discarded on the floor before the distance is closed and he’s all over you.

Every touch and caress was intentional as he undresses like he’s unwrapping a present, greedy for all of you but so passionate, so easily able to steal your breath at the same time, slowing down the tempo now that your legs have fallen open and there’s nothing left covering you.

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy…and she’s all mine.” Joel admires you for a moment, firm hands tickling your thighs while his thumbs circled the soft, sensitive junction of your thigh so close to where you wanted him most.

The praise has you sighing breathlessly, peeking down to see the way he was looking at where you glisten, a sureness to his features that made you feel safe all while the clench of his jaw sent goosebumps across your arms.

You want to echo that he’s right but he doesn’t let you have the chance, a broad palm sliding down over the hair covering your mound, tugging at it gently before two thick fingers are swirling over your folds.

Muscles jolting, you were rocking up into a touch that is so expert and familiar you are helpless against it.

“Joel, oh! That feels so good,” You’re panting, trying to catch your breath while your body responds to the tight circles he was rubbing against your clit.

“Yeah? ‘Can tell. You’re so slick, honey. Did suckin’ me off get you this worked up?”

Your nod is pure reflex, hips grinding against his movements needing to chase the pleasure that was slowly oozing its way into your system.

It’s only something he can do and he’s so steady, so thorough with you even as you squirm, those two fingers now stroking at your entrance eliciting sounds that sparked heat in your cheeks and spread down to your chest.

You want to be as connected to him as you can, almost pleading for him to sink inside you already just desperate to feel completely surrounded by him.

And Joel can’t seem to grasp enough of you under his hands, gone for the way you cling to him as he fits his middle finger inside, marveling at the way your walls take him in.

He would never get over your strangled little cry at being stretched around his knuckles.

“I asked a question, lemme hear you.” He spoke a little more loosely, his Texan drawl slightly heavier now.

“Yes, yes,” you’re remembering yourself after a moment, “Fuck, yes I love sucking your dick.”

The words are shameless, falling from your lips as a promise, a proclamation that you know he feels the weight of when he leans in to kiss you again, muffling your sounds while he slides a second finger in alongside the first that’s filling you so perfectly.

Any concept of time or day is somewhere in the background muted, far away and suddenly you know you’re right where you should be, right where you belong, no traces of anxious thoughts lurking any longer.

You could sink into these sensations now, enjoying how his kisses had moved to your neck exploring the sensitive spots and smiling against your skin when a new one is found because he loves feeling you clench around him when he does.

It’s a gift to Joel, being able to draw out this kind of bliss in you.

He wanted you to feel good, wanted to be the one to make your world shatter and then piece it back together again when you came down to the ground.

Your eyes rolled shut when he plunged deeper, the pads of his fingers massaging at your walls in tandem with what his mouth was doing between the valley of your chest and further down to where your stomach fluttered.

Somewhere in the haze of it all you realize his mouth was at your thighs, the white hot touch of his lips closing around a stretch of supple flesh bringing another wave of heat before he’s licking gently, bruising a mark into your skin that only he will know is there later.

“I could spend hours like this, you know that? Could have you makin’ such a pretty mess all over my hands, all over our bed…and I know you love when I do this.” Joel husks before he’s finally tasting you properly.

He starts at your clit, tongue flattened against you in anticipation of the inevitable flex of your legs, determined to keep you right where he wants and you’re already so far gone for him and this moment that your head tilts back against the pillows in a gasp.

You feel almost weightless as you succumb to the pleasure and how he presses his mouth into your pussy like he wants to devour it. You’re sure you’d let him swallow you whole if it kept feeling like this.

It’s not even a question really, you know you would, until you’re between sinew and bone and part of him forever.

The plunge and curl of his fingers combined with the flick of his tongue had you panting, heat skittering across your body while your hips circled on their own accord.

“More! Please, Joel!” It’s a chant and a sob all rolled in one and you don’t care how needy it sounds.

He keeps going, lapping at your sex greedily until you’re clenching down around his fingers and your toes are curling, crying out for him not to stop as you hurtle towards the cliff’s edge.

Skin dewy and alive, you decide that you don’t want to spare anything, not when he’s watching you as hungrily as he eats.

You give him all your sounds, all your pleas, handing him your body and your heart at once.

It’s amazing how it doesn’t take long for him to have you so close, right at the precipice, forgoing his own breaths to keep pace, to give you what your body is singing out for and when you finally let go, when your orgasm is finally coaxed from you he only presses his face into you further, drawing out every bit of pleasure he could in hopes of seeing that soft sweet look in your eyes afterwards.

“Attagirl, doin so well.” The words are a tether.

He’d take care of you and that’s perhaps what made it so easy to surrender yourself to the passion of the moment knowing it would linger long after you were both spent.

“Mmm you should see yourself right now,” Joel hummed, licking his lips while you attempted to catch your breath, “I always want you, don’t forget that yeah?”

The last part catches your attention through the curtain of bliss, a serious shift in his tone telling you that he meant every word; you had no reason to second guess yourself over your desires and he was making sure of that.

You nodded and sat up to reach for him, nevermind how you still trembled, your desire to be close to him was stronger than ever now.

“I need you, Joel! Please, I’ve been so good…” Your words tug at him, you can tell they do by the way he ruts his hips against the edge of the bed.

He crushed his mouth to yours before you could finish speaking, a much welcome relief, the burning flame inside you quelled for a moment.

“Sure have been, honey and I think good girls should be rewarded.” He nipped at your ear, stealing your breath with his words.

And even further when his flannel joined his jeans on the floor, climbing back onto the bed to follow the path of your body with his own, framing your limbs and wrapping you up in his embrace like you were made to fit against his chest.

Your legs fall open again to wrap around his waist as he settles some of his weight down against your hips, just giving you a taste, calling back memories and reminding you, funnily enough, of that novel you were reading earlier.

It felt like you were suddenly amongst the pages, chest heaving, your core tender and dripping as the man of your dreams was about to show you how much you’re his in every way.

Fairytales didn’t exist in this world but you felt like you were in one right now.

A giddy and timid smile spread across your face when Joel trailed warm hands down your body, catching on the bend of your elbow, wrapping around your ribcage to settle on the crest of your ass as he puts more of his weight down and uses his shoulders to nudge your legs apart and back towards your chest.

The air felt thicker but your breathing seemed to even out, everything in your body thrumming with energy and an intensity neither of you could ignore any longer.

Reaching down between your bodies you wrap a hand around where he’s thick and throbbing, guiding him closer with a soft smile, feeling how heavy he hangs in your hand, fingers pinching his skin when he rocks against your folds, the dirty sounds of his cock gliding through your stickiness.

Joel groans against your forehead, holding himself steady as your hips buck into his touch, the tip pressing against your entrance and finally, slowly, sinking inside.

Your moans are twined together in the quiet room. The stretch makes you keen, hands fumbling and grasping at strong shoulders, grateful he lets you have a moment to adjust.

But it’s not long before you’re squirming again, whining for him to go deeper, to fill you to the hilt and he made good on his promises to do exactly that.

He keeps your hips tilted up with the press of his palm underneath you, meeting little resistance the more he splits you open and it does something to him to see how much of a mess you are and he’s barely fucked you yet.

“You can do it, know you can…there you go.” Joel pulls back to give a shallow thrust, lips brushing your temple and a hand coming up to cradle your cheek.

The drag of his cock against your walls was everything, steady thrusts building up the tension coiling in your belly, fantasies from your novel melding with reality.

You felt like you were floating, your toes pointing when he changed the angle, brushing against a spot that had you crying out, ankles trying to lock around his torso.

Pressing heavier and faster with his hips however, your legs stay spread, the beginnings of a tremble rippling through your muscles now that he’s caught on.

His pace remained measured and deep, just the way you were begging for it, and he’s content to watch your brows pinch, your jaw slacken, content to hear every gasp of air and pretty sobs mixed in with your moans driving him crazy every time they slip from clenched teeth.

“Shit, I love watching you take me like this.” He cooed.

You can feel the heavy slap of his balls colliding with your ass when he pounds into you again and soon your hands slip from sweaty skin, scratching down his chest to pull at the sheets, so overwhelmed with feeling but never wanting it to stop.

“Daddy...Please, please keep going.”

You’re so caught up in the moment you don’t realize you’ve said it out loud, glassy eyes moving up from where you were trying to peek between your bodies to meet Joel’s careful gaze, only half registering how they widen for a moment.

He’s taken aback for just a second, almost questioning whether he heard it correctly but something’s been knocked loose within him now, his cock twitching from the reverence and adoration in your tone, bestowing him with a title he suddenly wanted to earn.

Joel was a grown man and had lived through many hells to be able to have you bare and underneath him like this, he reasoned he deserved to have a little fun in the bedroom especially when he hadn’t expected to be so affected.

“Ah so that’s what you’ve been reading in that book of yours. Just wanted Daddy to fuck you all day is that it, sweetheart? Yeah, I gotcha now.” He rasped low against the crook of your neck and started to fuck you harder.

His grip on you was less gentle but still just as passionate, the force of his thrusts stealing your ability to think properly. He wanted to make you say it again.

The burning in your cheeks only subsided a little at his acceptance, more heat flooding you from head to toe at being called out, wondering how he knew it was something you read in your novel, if it had been that obvious.

It didn’t matter now, you see where his dark eyes have narrowed, ready to make you come again with this newfound discovery.

So you try and be good for him while you moan and clench down on his length, your pussy swollen and aching but tingling for everything he could give you, “Yes, daddy! Just…oh! I couldn’t help it. Thank you, daddy!”

He knows you’re close, a familiar frenzy to your breathing, the slick wet sounds between your legs, it’s everything he dreams of and more, torn between watching your face as you come or watching the way his cock shines with your release.

With a few more strokes and the soft rubbing of his thumb against your clit you shatter, face pressing against the meat of his shoulder while you ride it out, feeling weightless in his embrace.

It makes you giggle when you can’t keep your head up any longer, neck lolling back against the pillow where he cradles your head in his hands, keeping you in place as he finds his own release swiftly after yours, pulling out to cover your puffy folds in hot ropes of his come.

You would never tire of being made a mess, even if you knew you’d be sore tomorrow, nothing quite ever beat the feeling of being fucked out like the way Joel could have you.

“Baby…” you’re breathless and bursting with emotion, “Thank you for that. Think I really needed it,” You laugh against his chest and sigh.

You’re almost too nervous still to look at him after your slip of the tongue but you know deep down there’s nothing you have to be worried about.

“Of course, honey. Anytime, and I mean that.”

–

You’re not sure how much time has passed, drifting in and out of a dreamy slumber still cradled against Joel, only now you realize you’ve been cleaned up and tucked under the covers but you don’t mind, you know you can simply lay here and soak it all in, he would take care of you.

Racing thoughts no longer buzz around in your head, all you can feel and see is Joel and you smile to yourself knowing the intimacy you just shared still lingered in your body, love etched in your fingertips where they’re laced in his hand against his stomach.

His lips press against your temple and you close your eyes again letting yourself be swept away with the sweet drawl of an “I love you.” in your ears and the gentle evening sun warming you both.

—

A/N: This was actually lowkey inspired by that scene where Joel is leading Ellie, Henry and Sam down the street after they come out of the tunnels and Joel just shakes his head and goes “so much goddamn talkin’.’ while looking like an annoyed father because they’re all being too loud…got very hung up on that bit of dialogue and could not let it go so here we are!

Also hope I added the daddy kink bit here in tastefully, it’s a fave of mine and I struggled a bit to think of how to incorporate it in a way that felt real for Joel so I only just dipped my toe in with it here but I hope you liked it! 👀

Thank you for reading <3

some no pressure tags! 💫 @eupheme @ozarkthedog @moreofem @tinydramatist @black-fairy3 @federalchickensoup @fluffyprettykitty @persona-enthusiast @moonstruksandco @ghotifishreads @communism-bitches

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x black reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x woc #amalia writes

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thelittleliars · 1 year

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Would it kill you to smile? At least once in a while?

Natasha Romanoff x Reader (Platonic) Wanda Maximoff x Reader (Former lovers; now platonic) Wanda Maximoff x Reader x Natasha Romanoff (platonic)

Warnings: Depression, suicidal thoughts, angst -> fluff?

Words: 1.5K

Summary: Your girlfriend demanded the most difficult task from you. Natasha came to your rescue.

AN: Another one shot since I have not come any further with P.S. I Want You. It hurts me that I do not know what do to with Chapter 3. I just can't seem to get it going :( Anyways I hope you enjoy this little idea that I came up with a couple days ago. (The title are lyrics from the song 'under the weather' by CORPSE)

"Would it kill you to smile?" Your current girlfriend Jade snapped, the frustration and anger in her voice was clear. "I mean at least once in a while?! And especially in pictures!" Her words cute you deep, they broke you in a way that you didn't know existed. You felt angry, sad and betrayed by her. Depression was no joke and she knew what she was getting into from the start since you were nothing but an open book about your long battle with the chronic mental illness. All those nights she was there for you in the best possible way, in the darkest of your days she was the light - you anchor, so you honestly couldn't understand why she exploded like this.

"Yes." You stated. "Yes it would kill me." Your voice cracked, the pain she caused was obvious but she didn't care for some reason. But even if she did care in that situation, it wouldn't have made a difference. Her words were an unforgiving betrayal that you never thought would happen. "You of all people should know how awful my depression is. How could you even ask that of me?!"

"Because my friends thinks that you're miserable because of me!" She shouted again. Tears started to flow down your face.

"You could have just straight up told them about my depression! Fuck Jade, the entire world knows about my depression ever since I dated Wanda. It's not even a fucking secret that I had multiple suicide attempts while dating her and she never minded what people said about her because of that. She even encourage me to go with her to interviews and to openly talks about it. The awareness we brought on this topic is insane. It's not a tabu topic."

Before Jade could open her mouth to shout more cruel words at you, Natasha came out of the shadows and interrupted your conversation. "It's time for you to go Jade." The red head looked at you with deep concern in her eyes, knowing first hand that all of this is extremely triggering for you and she did not want you to spiral badly again. "Fuck off Romanoff, we're not done here!" That was a huge mistake - you thought. Nobody can ever fuck with Natasha Romanoff, not unless you're Yelena Belova or one of her 'girls'; meaning her extremely close friends that contains Wanda, Maria and you. "Out. Now." Natasha was calm but her voice was ice cold. Though her words wasn't meant for you, a cold shiver ran down you spine. You can only imagine how scary it was to be on the other side of her words.

"Fuck." Fear replaced the jealousy that ran through Jade's veins. Only when Natasha indicated of making a move on her, she ran away fast without ever looking back. Natasha turned to you with open arms, hugging you dearly to her chest. The feeling of her arms around you gave you the safeness to break down completely. Her hands gently rubbed up and down your back, it was her way to comfort you, no words needed to be said. After a while you finally stopped crying but the black widow still didn't remove herself from you. "Maybe the world really is better without me." It hurt her to hear those words, though you constantly had your up and downs, she believed you were in a good place before Jade blew up. Was she so wrong? Or was it all because of this triggering situation? "Dorogoy, I can tell you with certainty that my world definitely would not be better without you. It would be miserable but if you honestly feel like you can't live like this anymore, I don't have the right to tell you to stay. That would be cruel of me." Your hands that were around her tightened. "I just wanted you to know you're not alone and that the world is definitely not better without you. If you're still not sure then ask Wanda. She of all people knows how it feels like and appreciates you the most."

"Thank you for always being there for me Nat." She whispered a small 'always' before giving you a kiss on your forehead. The two of you stayed in each others arms for another 5 minutes. You then decided it was time for some space. She gave you the room but didn't leave you alone yet, afraid of your thoughts running wild. "Tell you what. We're gonna go to the movies to watch a film and then we'll to your boss about a leave since you need a break. I'll then show you a shield facility that could help get better, if you're up for it."

You shook your head. All you wanted to do was laying in bed and sleep. "I can't Natty. I'm just so exhausted." The other woman nodded. "I understand." She said with a sad smile. She was still determined to not leave you alone with your thoughts so she came with another idea. "What if we watch a movie in my room? Getting snacks and Wanda to join us? You even can fall asleep while we give you some cuddles."

Relief and appreciation was written all over your face. While you went to the kitchen for snacks, Natasha pulled out her phone and called Wanda, commanding the witches ass to her room. All three of you met in Natasha's room with Wanda being the last one to arrive. "I couldn't find my best fluffy blanket at first but here it is!" She proudly lifted up the white-blue striped fluffy blanket before throwing it into your face. "Thanks Wands. I brought you guys Sour Patch Kids, chips, mini pretzels, popcorn and your favorite sodas."

Natasha let out a mix of a groan and moan. "Way to make a girls knees weak.." The widow said as she made her way onto the bed. You snorted a bit too loud to your liking but also tried to ignore your little embarrassment. "That's not the only way to make girls knees weak." You had a suggestive look on your face which made Natasha blush. Wanda took that opportunity to tease you. "Oh my, who knew you still had it in you?"

You turned your head towards her as she was just getting onto the bed next to you. "I believe you're just too old to keeping up with me." At that, Natasha laughed out loud. It was a nice to hear it since you liked the sound of her laugh, it brought you a sense of home.

Wanda took slight offense in your words. "I'm only a year older than you!" She exclaimed with a gasp. You shrugged your shoulder. "My point still stands." Wanda rolled her eyes. "Rude.." Shaking your head was the only thing you could come up with as retort. You got under the blanket, which was very soft and fluffy, and held it up for the other two women to join you underneath it. Natasha teased the other red head all while getting closer to you. "Face it Wands, you're getting old."

"I'm getting old? Should I mention your age Miss Romanoff?" Wanda got sassy in a way you hadn't seen in years. It was endearing to hear the banter between girls that meant a lot to you. The older red head felt attacked by the younger woman, though both knew they said it out of fun. "Don't you dare!"

You interrupted them since you loved putting your input in this banter. They just amused you very much. "Ohh but I dare you too."

"Y/N no! Not you too." She looked at you with puppy eyes. "I thought you liked me."

"I do. I love your guys' drama more than a movie so go ahead and continue." It nearly brought out a smile of you but the small urge to do so vanished quickly as your mind reminded you that you don't deserve to be happy. They both sensed the mood shift in you afterwards so they changed the topic by deciding which movie to put on. They both choose Encanto, a movie you had yet to see but only heard great things about. You started to cuddle and hug Wanda's side like a koala bear. Suddenly you felt drained again so you closed your eyes. But something was still missing for you to feel at peace. "Nat?" - "Mhm?" - "Could you spoon me from behind?" She came up behind you and spooned you exactly as you requested. "Like this?" Natasha made sure that you were comfortable and didn't cross your boundaries. You quickly grabbed her hand and put around your waist. "Like this yes. Thank you." You felt safe with both of them laying there like that. They both gave you a kiss on your heard, telling you that they loved you. You only hum in acknowledgement since the sound of their steady breaths and the movie noises in the background made you sleepy. You soon fell asleep in their embrace as your heart and mind didn't feel as heavy as before.

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #black widow x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #black widow x female reader

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nightsinbluevelvet · 4 months

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Dear! You have been awfully quiet these past few weeks, I hope you are well? I, for one, have been feeling a little uneasy, but that is because I miss our boys so much! Their presence together anchors me, and makes me believe in divine connections of souls again. I hope to see them together at an event soon. What do you think? Will we see them soon?

Thank you so much for your concern! I'm perfectly fine. I didn't mean to disappear, I've just been busy in my personal life, travelling a bit and such things.

I don't feel uneasy about Matt and Jonny at all, but I do miss them every day. You're definitely not alone in craving their presence together. I see people writing similar things every single day. The connection they have when they're together makes us believe in good things again, in love, in humanity.

Actually I wanted to address the interesting pieces of information we got some time ago, that cleared up some rumours about Matt and Jonny that I've wished people would stop spreading.

First, Jonny denying he has a boyfriend.

In this, now infamous, London Evening Standard interview from December (https://www.standard.co.uk/culture/tvfilm/jonathan-bailey-fellow-travelers-paramount-plus-interview-bridgerton-b1126156.html) Jonny was quoted as saying there's a "lovely man" in his life, which created insane rumours for months.

In this recent L.A. Times interview (https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/awards/story/2024-05-14/jonathan-bailey-fellow-travelers-bridgerton-wicked-matt-bomer-ron-nyswaner) Jonny adressed those rumours. “'The only thing that got syndicated from that story was that I had a boyfriend, and it wasn’t true,' he sighs."

It's very sad that people focused on that instead of the coffee shop incident. Also, I've been saying all along that some comment like that can't be used as evidence for his current relationship status. Now we know that he was misquoted (likely on purpose) and that there wasn't a boyfriend to begin with. Didn't it strike anyone else as odd that Jonny would say "Having a private life is, for me, completely critical" and then reveal a boyfriend in the same interview?

There was a lovely man he called after the incident, however (and this was the day after the HRC gala), and that could have been Matt - or anyone else, of course.

People have also been spreading rumours about Jonny being together with Hugh Skinner, because they're often seen together. Anyone claiming that that is true now, is also claiming that Jonny was lying when he said there wasn't a boyfriend. That's technically possible, but I still think we should respect what he says, and also respect his wish to keep his private life private. Besides, Jonny has also called Hugh his best friend, at least in this Sunday Times article from 2020 (https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/jonathan-bailey-interview-brilliant-from-top-to-bottom-z6k8fct79):

"Apparently, he and his best friend, fellow actor Hugh Skinner (the hapless Will in W1A and also Fleabag’s first, dweeby boyfriend) have a 'little black book of experiences that we would like to put into some sort of series.'"

They have been friends for over a decade, I believe, although I don't know that much about them.

Then, in the same L.A. Times article I mentioned before, Jonny denied being in a sexual relationship with Matt.

"I would love for people to know that the success of our chemistry isn’t based on us f—." he says. (He sounds so much like Skippy here, in the "person I'm fucking" scene. "It sounds so ugly.")

There are all those "I think they're fucking" comments, but somehow I thought they were in the minority. Is that really what people reduce their relationship to? It makes me livid if Jonny or Matt think that this is what fans make of the extraordinary connection between them.

This is out of context here and I don't mean to imply anything, but I thought what Jonny said in the recent Wall Street Journal article (https://www.wsj.com/style/jonathan-bailey-bridgerton-wicked-fellow-travelers-c3cae796) was interesting:

"I think maybe what fascinates me most about humans is there’s always a distance between what you want and what you have and who you are and who you want to be. I mean, if I’m still longing and 92 years old, then I’m going to be very happy."

Then there's what Jonny said in the Variety article, also from this month (https://variety.com/2024/tv/awards/fellow-travelers-emmys-submissions-jonathan-bailey-matt-bomer-1236004818/):

Bailey has been wonderfully complimentary of his co-star Bomer while on the circuit. In an upcoming interview with Variety, Bailey praised him, calling him “the flag in the sand of ‘Fellow Travelers.’ He made it the most exciting and enjoyable. It’s a happy friendship and working relationship, and I look forward to doing something with him again.”

This is so beautiful! And it's only a matter of time, then, before we get them together in a project again.

As for your question if I think we'll see them soon, I obviously have no idea. It really sucks big time that Jonny won't be at the June 1 panel. I'm genuinely happy for him that he's now a superstar (and I'm sure Matt is too), he deserves it, but Matt deserves the same...

We'll just have to stay positive and hope we'll get to see our baby boys together again SOON.

#jonathan bailey #matt bomer #fellow travelers

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so-many-fandoms-here · 11 months

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A little context for those who haven’t read the maze runner book: towards the end of the first book the gladers hide inside the homestead for the night so the grieves wouldn’t get them. They distributed the boys in the rooms and Newt, Alby, Minho and Thomas ended up together in one room. Alby leaves to go to the card room.

(English isn’t my first language so feel free to correct any mistake you notice)

• Characters: Thomas, Newt

• Genre: fluff, angst

• Warnings: mentions of death

All I Needed To Know

──────⊱⁜⊰──────

Thomas‘ Pov:

After two hours of laying awake between the other sleeping boys I just couldn’t stay there anymore. It suddenly felt like the room was shrinking and all the oxygen was already used. I needed to get out of there, at least for two minutes.

As quiet as possible I tried to stand up, careful not to wake anyone up I sneak to the door and stepped out of the room. Thankfully the hallway was empty, no glader or griever was there and all I could hear was the noises coming from outside the building.

How did the others manage to fall asleep in the first place? Sleep has never felt so far away like now. All I could think of was that our world is currently ending, and we didn’t had a single clue what to do about it.

Suddenly I heard one of the floorboards crack. I suppressed a scream, and grabbed the knife I’ve had in my pocket while I turned around.

„It‘s just me Tommy.“

I sighed at the sound of Newts voice and put down the knife. „You scared the living klunk outta me!“ I cursed him with a whisper.

„Sorry. I heard you leaving. Everything okay?“ He came a step closer, looking me right into my eyes.

„If everything is okay?“ I asked and had to laugh at this stupid question. „Did you miss that the freaking world is ending?“ I didn’t mean to make it sound so insulting, but Newt didn’t even seemed to noticed my harsh tone. Instead of answering he just placed his hands on my shoulders.

Newt had an aura around him that could calm me down in any situation, even in that moment. With his strong hands on my shoulders I felt a little more protected. I knew I could trust him.

„I‘m sorry“ I mumbled. „It’s just… I’m scared Newt.“ It felt good that I got that off my shoulders. „I act tough but even though I can’t remember much, I am pretty sure that I wasn’t ever as scared as I am now in my whole life.“

Newt started rubbing his thumbs over my shoulder muscles and I felt myself easing up a little bit. „I wish I could stay just as calm as you.“ I confessed and to my surprise Newt giggled quietly. Even then his laugh was able to make me feel better.

„I am not as calm as I pretend to be“, he says. „I am bloody terrified. Just like you. But if I let it show all the others would be even more scared. They need me to stay calm but believe me, I feel like I am about to klunk my pants.“ I had to giggle too at this statement.

Newts hands left my shoulders and traveled down to hold my upper arms. „I don’t know what is happening Tommy. In the past few days everything turned upside down but what I know is that I trust you. I know you will find a way. You always found one since you climbed out of the box.“

A warm feeling spread from my chest trough my body. Having Newts trust felt better than anything else I have ever felt before.

I thought Teresa confused me but as I stood there with Newt, the feelings I thought I might had for her were long forgotten. They were nothing compared to what I felt for him in this very moment. I knew Newt was my anchor from the first few words he said to me. He always had my back and made sure I was okay but has he always been this attractive too?

The grey light from the broken sky that sneaked trough the cracks of the wooden planks we used to barricade the windows with fell on him, highlighting the left side of his face. His toned jaw was clenched from sorrow. „I want to cry, I want to scream but I can’t. I don’t have the time for it nor can I allow myself to be so vulnerable.“

I felt the desire to hug him, to hold him close and never let him go ever again. So I did. With my heart beating loudly I pulled him into my arms and held him as close as possible. Newts hands were crossed behind my neck and I felt warm drops soaking into my shoulder. His tears hurt me more than every weapon or griever could ever, yet I was happy that he was finally able to cry. I couldn’t imagine how long he might had to lock his tears behind his eyelids, how long he might had to hide the despair he feels inside him. But I felt how the weight that burdened on his back slowly became a little bit easier and for one time I was glad to be there. Glad to be able to hold this boy in my arms so he can cry away the pain he locked inside for over two years.

After a few minutes Newt lifted his head from my shoulder and looked in my eyes again, his orbs sparkling from the tears. I didn’t dare to let go of his hips, almost as if he could‘ve disappeared right in front of my eyes if I did. „Bloody hell, Tommy“, he whispered, his voice shaky, as he leaned his forehead against mine.

Silence fell over us again and for another few moments we just stood there, his head resting against mine. „We should head back to bed“, he raises his voice again after a while, barely loud enough for me to hear. But I wasn’t ready to let go of him yet. Newt felt that I wasn’t moving my hands, but he didn’t try to walk away either. „Tommy please. My mind isn’t in a state where it can think rationally. I don’t want to do something I might regret tomorrow.“

With all the secrets around me, Newts brutal honesty was the best and most refreshing thing that could have happened to me. „What if there isn’t a tomorrow?“ I replied, knowing what this might lead to.

The taller boy wasn’t answering. At first he just remained still and it seemed like he was evaluating what I just said. The next second his lips crashed with such force onto mine that I stumbled. Strong hands found my face and rested on my cheeks, while my own hands stayed on his hips, trying to pull him even closer to me while I kissed him back.

Newts breath went heavy and I tasted the tears that rolled down his cheeks again. „Tommy.“ But I shut him up by catching his lips for another kiss.

My hands snuck up to his face, mirroring his pose and resting on his cheeks. „Let‘s talk about this when the world isn’t ending anymore.“ This had to be the craziest thing that ever left my lips.

Newt agreed with a nod, kissed me one last time and then turned around to walk back into the room we stayed for the night. I was right behind him, closing the door silently and stepping over Minho to get to my blanket again. Newt gifted me one last beautiful smile before he turned around and tugged himself in his own blanket again.

With every day I felt like my goals and what I was fighting for got more and more clear. But now after Newt kissed me I knew everything I needed to. I would get him out of here, no matter what. And I would make sure that he wouldn’t regret what just happened.

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paradoxcase · 1 year

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I picked up my sister and her friends from their week-and-a-half-long hike around Mount Rainier on Friday, and they were still staying with me for a bit until the last one left today, so I took a little break from the Locked Tomb. It's kind of hard to stay up late reading and writing out tumblr posts when someone wants to go to sleep in your living room at 9:30 PM every night

Anyway, on to the glossary

There's actually a lot of interesting worldbuilding info here that I would have loved to have heard about in the actual text of the story, like this isn't like the LOTR appendices where all that information really is extra stuff, or details that aren't important to the main story, or related stories that don't affect the main plot too much, this is just like, basic information about the premise of this universe, and I only found out about it in the glossary at the end of the book

Argh

Anyway

So, yes, this actually did make it into the text of the story, I remember Gideon talking about this. But then, at the end of this glossary, it says

So, if the reason necromancy normally doesn't work in space is that it doesn't have a thalergy anchor, which presumably has to be something that generates a lot of thalergy, is the reason that Lyctors can do necromancy in space that the Lyctor themself is a large enough source of thalergy to be a thalergy anchor? I remember that when Mayonnaise Uncle tried to siphon Ianthe she told him that he couldn't siphon her thalergy fast enough to outpace her generation of it, so that seems maybe accurate. But if that's the case, couldn't any necromancer in the presence of a Lyctor do necromancy in space as well? If the main point of Lyctors is to be able to do necromancy in space, couldn't the Emperor just have a large collection of regular necromancers hanging out with the Lyctors to do that? I also got the impression from the epilogue that the Emperor was more or less confined to his space ship and was not able to actually personally go down to the planet, and I'm curious to find out why that is

So, ok. All of our cavaliers are listed in the Dramatis Personae as being cavalier primaries to the various heirs. But, presumably, being the heir means there is a living ruling necromancer that they are the heir to (well, except in Harrow's case, and I gather that maybe Isaac was technically the ruling necromancer of the Fourth, but probably under some kind of regency arrangement with Magnus and Abigail), and those necromancers probably also had cavaliers, at least at one time, and wouldn't it make sense for the cavalier of the ruler to be the cavalier primary? Like, obviously when it comes to Harrow, her parents' cavalier was officially dead even if her parents were only unofficially dead, so that would pretty much make Ortus (and later Gideon) the cavalier primary, but is it just an accident that something similar happened with all the other houses, making all the other heirs' cavaliers the cavalier primary? Or do rulers sometimes decide to rank their heirs' cavaliers higher than their own cavaliers?

This is also the first information we have about what the Resurrection was. So, it's not just the resurrection of God, but of the entire system, which made all of the planets undead planets that radiate thanergy? I'm having trouble imagining what disaster could cause the destruction of the entire system. Even if the sun turned into a red giant, I think that would only destroy the inner planets, and the outer ones would be fine (just hotter). I'm guessing the reason that necromancers can't reliably reproduce on regular planets is that babies need to be exposed to thanergy in the womb to become necromancers, so that only happens with reasonable frequency on undead planets. Also, if the nine planets in their current state were recreated by God, why did he choose to make them just as uninhabitable as they were before the Resurrection? Surely if he can restore planets after they were destroyed, he can also do some terraforming while he's at it?

This is the first mention in the book of the River, which seems to be the afterlife (although I've also seen it in some comments here, and in some tumblr posts about Palamedes that probably contain spoilers that I haven't read enough of the books to get properly spoiled for yet). But I gather that getting Gideon back isn't going to involve this, since probably Gideon and the other cavaliers that were absorbed by their necromancers don't wind up in the River

So, this seems to discredit Mayonnaise Uncle's statement that the Ninth House was never meant to exist as merely something that some Houses believe to be the case. And indeed, the Emperor didn't seem to think that Harrow wasn't a proper heir, or wasn't mean to be called to become a Lyctor, or that he disapproved of the Ninth House in any way. It's interesting that it says the body in the Locked Tomb was "placed in the Ninth House in order to show it respect", so I kind of wonder if whoever it was was not actually an "unfathomable enemy of the Emperor" and in fact had some other kind of relationship with him

So, there is some development of means of FTL travel, but this doesn't really explain very much about it. I'm curious why they would use this within the main system itself, though - IIRC, I calculated they were going a max of like 5 or 6 times the speed of light to get from Pluto to Earth in an hour at their shortest distance, so at approaching light speed that would only take like six hours; if we make a probably bad and wrong estimate that the longest distance is like three times the shortest distance, that's still less than a day. People sit in economy seats on commercial airplanes for longer than that. Why set up a stele in the main solar system just to save less than a day on the longest possible trip you could make there? Or did they just not even bother to have ships that even go at approaching light speed, and just rely entirely on the stele system, whatever it is?

Also, this says there were "originally seven full Lyctors". We've been told repeatedly throughout the text of the story that there were eight original Lyctors. So does that mean that one of those eight was not a "full Lyctor" and was incomplete in some manner?

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth

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bullet-prooflove · 2 years

Text

Creative Process

The lovely @mariamariquinha asked about my creative process so here it is! This is a long ass post by the way.

Sidebar:

When it comes to developing characters, even reader ones I usually add a little something in there to make more individualised and it kind of creates an anchor point in my head so it’s easy to slip into them. I also think it brings an additional layer to the character and makes them more realistic.

A few examples of this:

- Joe Velasco’s reader usually has at least one tattoo, a lotus on the back of their neck and one on their wrist. I kind of envision them a little spiritual and I feel the lotus flower kind of plays into that. (To be clear I don’t have this as a tattoo)

- Horacio Carrillo’s reader usually has a scar on her throat close to the jugular from clashing with Quica. This serves a few purposes, it shows she is also on the front lines, it reminds Horacio of how close he was too losing her, and I feel it’s realistic that you would have some scars if you were in that type of job. (I also don’t have this scar)

Sometimes I do include tiny details from my life, like experiences or things I’ve encountered, like the way someone’s scent clings to a scarf if they lend it to you and stuff like that. I feel like it helps to add more realism to the work and it’s something readers can identify with.

Back to my creative process, it kinda goes like this:

I get an idea – Usually from a prompt, or a song, or just a random thought I wake up with. I usually have my best ideas in the shower.

One way it works is:

I write the first draft on Google Notes if I am out and about or on Word if I am at the laptop. When studying for my Masters we learned the importance of leaving the first draft for a little while so that you can come back to it with fresh eyes. While I am doing that I am usually working on first drafts for other ideas so by the time I write up the original piece I have fresh eyes.

All of my rough drafts are colour coded by character as you can see, so it’s easy for me to tell what or who I am working with when I am in certain moods.

If I am writing a series, I try to write it up in one big go so I have a good idea of where it’s heading.

On the flipside:

Sometimes when I write a first draft on my laptop it’s really vivid and is almost perfect because I have had a really clear vision of where I want to go and what the piece is about. All it takes is a final flourish and read through and it’s ready to go. (This is pretty rare)

Once I’ve written a rough draft or had an idea, I haven’t had a chance to work on I pop it on my Ideas Trello board:

Each idea has a Gif or image attached to it so I can see which char it relates to as well as a working title and a colour coded banner with the fics current status. This also helps me keep track of where I am when I am writing a series as you can see.

Initially I had the goal of publishing one fic a week so there wasn’t much pressure when I was getting back into Tumblr. So, when I finished one, I would just schedule it for the next week. However, since I was getting the bus more because my job role changed I had more time to write rough drafts so I ended up stepping up my productivity and started posting more regularly. Now I am scheduling content daily for weeks in advance.

I keep track of what is going out and when by making a schedule board on Trello. This also allows me to make sure that there isn’t too much of the same character booked around the same time. I try to space it out a bit more.

I also have inspo boards, so when I see something for a certain char like a GIF or a song, I add it to the boards:

I know this whole thing probably looks like I have no life at all, but the organisation actually really helps me keep on top of things!

I’m a busy person who works 4 days a week and runs their own social media business on the side. I’m married and go on dates with my husband, I also have boxing and sewing classes once a week as well as family obligations.

I have had to slow down over the past few weeks because I have developed prolonged COVID.

The key for me is not to feel guilty if I don’t write. I’m pretty self-reflective and know when I am over encumbered myself so sometimes, I take a step back and just rest for a few days. Taking that time really helps to refresh my mind and I always come back better for it.

I know this works for me and won’t work for everybody but if you have any qs feel free to drop me a line.

#writing process #ask #wow this is a long one #wriiting #writing #writer

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cloudninetonine · 2 years

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*awkwardly walks in, waves, downs coffee like a shot, leaves without elaborating after dropping a note*

Hey, nothing too big this time as I've had a rough week and I'm currently dogsitting a dog that ain't mine so my brain power is more or less incoherent and shot, just passing on by to wish you a Merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and to thank you for all your work in the fandom!

First of all, I've only know of Mess Au existing for like an hour and a half but I already adore the life out of it, Rip Player and their sanity due to the Evil Chain running around but I am thriving on their content with the Ganons. And, there's a discord? *Confused guitar sounds from a Musician*

Also I'd die for Pastuzo, just saying, if dangerous wild animal then why friend and hug shaped? I've only know him for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I'd murder everyone in the Yigah Clan and then myself, Player is lucky if it was me there with Nat I'd immediately pat, bless that guy (also Rip Nature and his food, I hope he knows that my version of Fia/Seraph is cackling at his misery, just straight up rolling on the floor), and the entire section with Eve? Perfection, outstanding, showstopping, honestly given I'm a reader myself I'd probably chill with him, and I hope Player gets to introduce books from their world to him because something tells me he'd love a wider selection, I am thriving so much with this thank you for the food of Ganon-Player Found Family. *Bows* Also, I kind of want the Ganons to meet Og Chain now, it would be funny.

Also, Player's Aid Au where everything is the same but the reason why Legend dislikes Players is that the only time he remembers with his Guide is in Koholint so that's why he's so Claude Frollo when it comes to them, the trauma is making him suspicious. Or alternatively, where Player is actually a Witch but like A Wadanohara Sea Witch rather than the standard type, like instead of a broom they have a staff with an anchor at the end they use to fight and fly (as well as several other anchors and fish hooks on their design), an Ocarina for healing spells, some control over water and basically does what the Links do but with a twist: protects the ocean and people's dreams, no one in the Chain would ever have a nightmare while they're around, bonus points if we give them a seagull familiar that can turn human, or that it's just straight up Marin, or if because Mipha is a Zora and Zora are sea creatures if they make her a familiar she can also join the Chain or heck even Nayru idk haven't thought that far ahead.

Legend: They're a Witch!

Sea Witch Player, feeding seagulls with Aryll: ... Yes? I did go to witch school in the witch world, and? Do you want to see my certificate and PhD in witchcraft or something?

One thing for sure is that if Sea Witch ever saw the Wind Fish fhey just straight up roll up their sleeves, go "Hold my staff and anchor earrings Rulie/Wild/Wind/Nat/Grandpa Tides" and just try to fistfight it, no magic involved, that or they'd be yelling expletives at it with at least one Chain or Passel/Singular (a group of hogs/boars) member holding them back from fighting it, bonus points if they do the same for Dark Link if they went through the same trauma Wada did or have moon trauma like Time too.

... Now I'm thinking about how the Chain or Ganons would react to Indie games, hm... Eh, maybe in another ask, Tides and Time would mentally adopt Niko from One Shot, or any child protagonists so fast I can literally see it, Time would literally feel smacked by Hello Charlotte and Undertale, and Legend would have a love-hate thing for both Omori, Yume Nikki and Dreamfarer and Hyrule would get so much trauma from Mad Father, gotta think of any other ones for another ask.

Anyway, happy holidays and hope you're having a better existence than I am currently!

-A Very Awkward and Tired Summertime Musician.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS SUMMER!

Also I'm so glad you're enjoying the Mess au right now it's literally all i can think about! Yes, Pastuzo is the pride and joy on the whole au now.

Also we gotta love witches, especially Sea Witch Player and all I'm saying is sharks are pretty great so Player having two familiars and once is a shark (more importantly whale shark because I love them)

Tbh, Tide I feel is an Animal Crossing lover (I know it's not an indie game but still), he enjoys the calmer life.

Also, don't worry! They will be meeting the Chain real soon :)

#cloud answers

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reblog-house · 1 year

Text

Get to Know Me Better

Tag 9 however many people you want to get to know better.

Tagged by @cassandralie !

Three ships:

Ineffable Husbands

And the next ones are hard, since that's like. The only ship I actively read fics of now. In previous fandoms, I always had like a handful of fics to fall back on, but now...

I do like Anathema and Newt though.

... Okay, hear me out. This is where the ship dilemma I mentioned comes in. Wait actually no, i haven't mentioned it yet. I mean i have, but in the next question. I'm jumping from point to point. But anyway, the ship dilemma is the following: what even COUNTS as a ship? Because I really like this non-GO "pairing" but not romantically. In a more "they're meant for each other whether they like it or not — and they don't. They're doomed to be put in awful funny situations and make a fucking mess and blame the other and they're great friends! but also enemies" way. Honestly, the thing stopping me is that they're mcytbers lmao. Except they're not, since I couldn't care less about them irl. It's just the characters they play that make me go *chef's kiss*. If you guessed Grian and Scar. Yeah. Not Hermitcraft though. The Life series. They make each other miserable whenever they're paired up and it's hilarious. Wouldn't read a fic though.

First ship ever:

Oh this is awfully hard. You have no idea how hard this is. I don't know how to even define ship here (as you can see, this is the ship dilemma actually mentioned before). Cause I liked Pucca and Garu, but I also acknowledged Woody and Buzz, I also liked Anastasia and the baker, and I may have imagined something about Coop and Mr Kat (not even enemies to lovers, just a specific situation i can still remember to this day — and I'll just note down that Mr Kat is an alien who looks like a cat, Not a cat), etc etc. It's really fucking hard to say only one. But if i focus on me Aware of shipping... Fuck, probably some creepypasta ship. Jane and Jeff? I didn't know she was a lesbian back then. But i may still be off by a long shot.

Last song:

Never Love an Anchor by The Crane Wives! Aziraphale my beloved.

Last movie:

20,000 Species of Bees. It was very good. And ouch. It's about an 8 y.o. trans girl figuring herself out and oof. If you don't like open endings, don't watch it. It was 2h long and honestly? I realized it was long while watching it, but not that long!

Currently reading:

I had actually meant to re-read Good Omens today, but didn't take my book with me. But i didn't, so nothing? But the last thing I read was Boethius' On the Consolation of Philosophy and I have to re-read some passages for a project so... I'll count that.

Currently consuming:

Air, barely (mask in a bus — not much air to consume (I SWEAR THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I'VE WRITTEN THAT SENTENCE WHAT THE HELL. WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'VE WRITTEN THAT PHRASE BEFORE)). Unless this is a general "consuming", in which case, I'm listening to the song i mentioned before (that was my last listened song before i saw this, and it made me want to listen to it again. But now the song just switched (and now nothing again, woops)).

Currently craving:

Honestly, literally any food whatsoever. I'm hungry and i won't be home for at least another hour and a half. (An hour, now. Like I said, jumping around from point to point)

Anyway. I don't really know who else to tag?

So uh. Hm.

I. Did not mean for this to be as long as it was. I can't help but ramble, as you might've seen right there.

#carime rambles #see? even my regular tag for own posts acknowledges it!#tag game

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jon-withnoh · 1 year

Note

100, 121, 129!

100. Your favourite Gothic novel:

It’s impossible to choose just one so I‘ll give you several. I spent a lot of time with Jane Eyre during my English degree and it‘s still one of my favourites. There‘s just so much there! (I‘d also recommend Wild Sargasso Sea and Jane Steele as interesting takes on the Jane Eyre story.) Secondly, people are sleeping on The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë. I actually prefer her prose to Charlotte‘s and she opens up extremely interesting subject matter (a woman fleeing her abusive husband with her son and earning her own living as an artist, to give the briefest of summaries). Thirdly, I do of course have to recommend Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. It‘s an extremely rich text that rewards multiple readings (I am currently on my third reread, armed with book tabs and a pencil). Definitely try to get a copy that has Sally Beauman‘s introduction (or find it on my blog under the rebecca das musical tag, hehe). It gives a lot of context and provides a jumping off point for further research.

121. A book that makes you nostalgic:

Anne of Green Gables (specifically the German translation I read as a child). I „borrowed“ (read: stole) the copy from my cousin, fully intending to give it back but never actually doing it. I‘m pretty sure she never noticed. It had the first two books of the series and I reread it countless times, especially over the summer. It‘s the perfect mixture of a heroine I could really identify with and an atmosphere that fits really well with that endless, sunny feeling of childhood summer holidays (at least in my memory).

Another book that makes me very nostalgic now is Alanna, the First Adventure by Tamora Pierce. I had the first two books of the series in German translation and read them many, many times. (I actually didn‘t end up finishing the series until I was in my early twenties).

129. A book with beautiful prose:

I have to recommend another book connected to Rebecca here (mainly because I just moved and all my books are in boxes, depriving me of visual reminders of the books I have actually read): Mrs de Winter by Susan Hill has very smooth, atmospheric prose that I enjoyed a lot.

I haven‘t read a lot of fiction in the last couple of years because I focused on poetry in my MA, so I also want to recommend a couple of poetry collections:

Flèche by Mary Jean Chan — this collection changed me. I want to memorise it and have it with me everywhere. I‘m stealing this description from the back of the book since words really are failing me: „As complex themes of multilingualism, queerness, psychoanalysis and cultural history emerge, so too does a richly imagined personal, maternal and national biography. The result is a series of poems that feel urgent and true, dazzling and devastating by turns“.

Good Bones by Maggie Smith — you might have read the title poem of the collection, „Good Bones“ that went viral a few years ago. This whole collection is a delight though, with images that appear and reappear in different places in the collection, thoughts on maturing, motherhood, and the feeling of being anchored to — or escaping — the place where you grow up.

No Map Could Show Them by Helen Mort — I recommend this book to everyone who asks me about poetry. I am not lying when I say that this is the book that made me a poet. I solidly thought of myself as a prose writer before I read it. It‘s a collection focusing on present day and historical women mountaineers (with detours into other subjects). What always draws me in about Mort‘s poetry is her incredible gift of getting the imagery and form of her poems work together to really make them sing. I could give a twenty minute lecture on her use of white space alone. I love this book.

#wheeee q&a time!#ask games #book recs ask game #thank you anon!

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grayzeppelin281 · 1 year

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Hey Gray, I have decided to review and ask about the main characters from your KFP fanfiction series…the three former villains, aka the Trinity. The third and the last one would be…the Beast of Vengeance, Maker of Widows, and the Mightiest Warrior, General Kai!

I love the idea of making him a widower. It surely adds a deeper lore on him. Like I said before, one of the things that I was disappointed in the third movie was the lack of depth in Kai's backstory(just like you also said!). And giving him a long-lost family was a great idea. So, what made you write this fabulous backstory?

One thing I was confused about while reading your story was…What exactly is Wugu's current status?More like...

-Is she the same as Kai's Jade amulet? If so, how can she talk and interact with him?

-Or is she a spirit? If so, shouldn't she be at the Spirit Realm? How can she appear in a mortal world?

-I noticed that Wugu both appeared in Kai's necklace and Xing's katana(Wugu's sword). Then… Is the necklace and the pendant some kind of anchor that Wugu's soul is in, and she can travel between the two objects

3. What is the backstory of Wugu? Since she is the sister(P.S: is she older or younger sister?) of the main villain Huoju, I think her story would be interesting too. like… -How, and why did she escape from Huoju? -How did Kai and Wugu meet each other? How did they fall in love and eventually get married?(I can't imagine Kai being 'romantic', haha) -Did Wugu know about Kai's corruption? If she did, how did she think about it? Umm you might have to answer this question by making an another post…

Alright, so that's it for our General, Gray! I will be waiting for your kind reply!

Alright, Righteous Flames! I can not deny that General Kai is my favorite one who is the least popular, unlike Shen and Tai Lung. The lore I did dig in a writing history on his recognition as the Maker of Widows presents him to be a husband killer, proving his vengeance by slaughtering enemies who are married - many wives watched their husbands die by the hooves of General Kai, became widows. This may contain spoilers from my series, The Mightiest Warriors, so if anyone hasn't read, avoid you can! I will answer as little as possible for our giant friend.

1A. Yes! I did mention the lack of depths for Kai's background story that needs to be expanded more. Oogway's story is there, and we need to hear Kai's story as well - we want to know why his brother betrayed him. What other titles did he achieve for and among the good and bad ones? With a hint of Maker of Widows title, I did expand his tragic event that caused the death of his beloved wife Wugu, making him a monster everyone feared of his wrath.

1B. The more I write for Kai's tale, the more I like to understand he had his family during the Great War events in the first place. Since writing The Trinity Book I, I created an idea for Kai to discover his lost memory of his own family member - one of his own who fought beside the warlords. A mystery warrior. What I see Kai's type, mostly everyone I hear, he's like a dad figure, so when I generated ideas to build the warlord's complex tale, after I watched Disney's Treasure Planet (Treasure Island) with Silver and Jim, the hidden symbolism of a father and son truly makes me want to write for Kai and one of my characters (The yak warlord was a father before in his past life, and promising himself to never lose another son, he will protect the important one until his last breath).

2A. (Is Wugu the same as Kai's amulet?)

Now, for my OC's current status, Wugu's essence rests in her amber amulet. Unlike Kai claiming chi from souls to enchance his strength and power, and using Oogway's amulet around his neck last time, her necklace is like a totem charm, her power of whispers she can communicate with her husband, including her defensive abilities to cast her spells against those who harm him, and her healing melody to relieve those around Wugu's proximity. (Her strength is limited.)

2B. (Wugu's appearance in her necklace and Chen Xing's sword)

As for the ancient weapon (Heaven's Wrath) from the falling stars, Wugu, among previous owners who grasped the katana from different times, used to carry her weapon across Great War battles with Generals. After her death, the weapon waits for its chosen wielder, and as part of the previous owner, Wugu can transfer her soul from her amber necklace to straight katana. Same ability to speak with a new wielder, but it is very defensive and lethal, unlike previous sword owners.

Wugu's Background Story

Okay. This appears to be more complicated than ever. Some of these are planning in the works, mostly in spoilers, so I'll share some lore under WIP.

3A. Wugu is a young sister of my main villain Prince Huoju, a few minutes younger than him (They were born as twin siblings, giving references of Luke and Leia Skywalker from Star Wars Original Trilogy, and Prince Nuada and Princess Nuala from Hellboy II: The Golden Army.)

Her background tale (what I'll be digging in this lore) appears to be tragic. What I meant tragic, was their father Emperor Khan became a stubborn leader who wished to erase histories of China and essentials of martial arts; he and his ally (mystery character) forced Huoju to march his army and destroy Qing Temple, where Oogway and his companions built Kung Fu, Wing Chun, and Tai Chi, all three into one essence of martial arts tranquility.

3B. After a recent tragedy event of the Desolation of Qing Temple, the siblings received their curse from Emperor Khan's ally. Wugu's failed attempt was for her convincing Huoju not to lay destruction across temples, but her brother needed to save his own fur from abandoning their legacy. The curse they received was immortality, immune from the mortal age. Realizing her father was much cruelty to despising his own daughter, giving his son the only opportunity to kill his own sister for being a worthless blood, Wugu fled and survived from her father and brother.

3C. (First encounter of Kai and Wugu) Shhhh. Our friend's tale is under progression and will prevail. Will be updating a marriage scene during the last fifteen years before the Great War's end. *Sighs* I really need to learn romance someday (friendship and family are what I am good at).

3D. (Did Wugu know about Kai's corruption?) Yes. She knew her soulmate went to a chi corruption when Kai discovered his ways to claim souls, craving for more to be stronger. Feared that Kai continued to claim masters and a few of worthy for collection (shut up, Grievous!), and fill with loathsomeness against Oogway for panda monks who opened his eyes for the change, Wugu had no magic to suppress his dark chi from an ancient enemy who claimed others like Kai.

That's the last one for the three baddies! Thank you for all the questions, Righteous Flames!

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goblinmatriarch · 2 years

Text

Chapter four is up on AO3! This excerpt is long because it was like the second scene I wrote for this fic, and I feel so tenderly toward Ginny in it that I couldn't bear to only post a part of it.

Albus finally down for the count, Harry staggered back downstairs to find Ginny sprawled out on the couch with a glass of wine from the bottle they’d opened at dinner to toast the new season. She nudged his glass with her toe, and Harry grabbed it gratefully and flopped down next to her.

They spoke about nothing for a while – the kids’ schedules, plans for the Harpies, Lily’s current phase of loudly and tunelessly singing all her activities – then subsided into silence.

Almost like a habit, Harry rolled his head toward her and sighed out her name. "Gin. What went wrong with us?"

Ginny was rolling her eyes before he even finished the question. "Two glasses of wine and it’s like we’re right back in therapy." But she ruffled his hair fondly and pretended to think.

"Let’s see, what was it?" She tapped her chin with one finger as though in deep thought. "You were too invested in saving the world and didn’t have time to focus on your own happiness. I felt trapped on a one-way path to becoming my mother, who is a very lovely person, but not the life I want for myself.”

She gave him a soft smile. "We just weren’t ready," she said firmly, confidently, as she had so many times before. "We were kids, and we had just been through a war, and we thought that meant we were grown up, but we still had more growing to do, and we didn’t do it in the same way."

Harry rolled his head back to look at the ceiling, nodding along, the words familiar and comfortable.

"We weren’t ready," he echoed. "We weren’t our whole selves yet, and then it turned out those whole selves weren’t…right for each other."

He grinned loosely up at the ceiling. "At least we did one thing right. Well," he amended, "three things."

Ginny was silent for a long moment. He glanced over at her to find her staring vacantly into the middle distance, twisting her wine glass slowly by its stem.

"Gin?"

She spoke reluctantly but as though she couldn’t stop herself, like it was exploding out of her.

"I don’t think I should have had children."

Harry blinked, startled, and Ginny immediately backpedalled.

"I love the kids so much," she said desperately. "I’m so glad they’re here; I would never unwish them from the world. But." She swallowed. "If I was going to do it again. If I could go back…" Her voice was thick with held-back tears.

"But," Harry said, baffled, "you– you’re great! You’re an excellent mother!"

Ginny ran a knuckle roughly under one eye and laughed shortly. "Of course I am; that’s not the issue."

Harry stared at her as she gathered her thoughts.

"I just mean…my life," Ginny said slowly. "I love the kids, I want them around, but I imagine what my life might be if I hadn’t had children – not the actual people but the way your life sort of…forms around them. Takes a certain shape, because it has to, because they need you." She looked at Harry, and there was a question in her words, like she was begging him to understand.

He turned the idea over in his mind. Of course he knew what she meant; it was impossible not to understand. His life, now, was as a parent first and foremost. Everything he did was as a parent: go to work, think about how he wanted to make the world better for his kids. Go to the market, wonder if they were all still eating beans or if someone would institute a surprise boycott. Read a good book, consider when the kids would be old enough to share recommendations.

Ginny seemed to be getting nervous in the face of his long silence. "I do love them," she insisted guiltily. "I guess I’ve just been thinking about the new season, how much I’ve been looking forward to it and to dropping the kids off with you and getting to just." She whooshed a hand into the air. "Go," she finished.

"The kids are like…an anchor," Harry said slowly. "Or maybe, like, a star. And I’m always orbiting it, and I’m always going to be orbiting it, even if I’m doing something else."

Ginny’s mouth quirked into a sad smile. "An anchor," she echoed. "Yes, that’s right. And I think," she paused, as though worried she’d offend, then continued all in one breath: "I think maybe you’ve always wanted to be anchored, and I spent most of my life struggling to break free."

Harry nodded. This was familiar ground once more. "Families," he announced grandly.

"Families," Ginny repeated quietly. Then she brightened, poked him in the side with her elbow. "You know that’s us, right?" She grinned, sadness banished to the far corners of her smile. "A family."

Harry slumped farther down on the couch so he could lean his head against her shoulder. He did love being anchored. He needed people to orbit around.

"I’m glad you’re still my family," he mumbled into her shoulder. Ginny brushed a hand over his hair for a moment, then laughed and shoved him off.

"I’m going to bed," she announced, standing up from the couch. "This is all getting a bit maudlin for my tastes."

Read the fic on AO3

#drarry #fanfic #drarry fic #the practice of everyday life #bamf ginny weasley #i love her so much #divorce

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daryascurse · 9 months

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Is it sick that I kind of want a “happy” ending for reader and snow? I know it can’t be all light and fluffy because let’s be for real, our baby corio is a sick fuck, but I want to see them together and content somehow

🥹 ommmg noo not sick at all. i am really falling more and more in love with them lol and my heart is soo warmed to hear this <33

i have one ending kind of in mind that.. would be a bit of a dark route to get to, but, i think would be best called bittersweet, which feels appropriate for the subject matter. i'm not wedded to it, though, just because i do think certain aspects ... how can i say this without giving it away; there are aspects of that potential ending that are divisive .. not particularly nasty (though YMMV) it just falls as a hit-or-miss with people's content preferences. from looking at the subscriber/ bookmark count, i don't think it would be fair to spring it on readers without advanced warning that that's what they've gotten into. however, i will say, there are bits of unintended foreshadowing to that potential in the 2 current chapters hahaha.

to ramble a little more, i kind of boxed myself in a bit with choosing to be canon compliant (to the books most specifically) so like, he still has to end up president and all that, but i think there's a lot of leeway with what can happen to someone in their 20s (speaking from experience). i'll put my musings and canon references under the cut because this could get long / spoiler-y to anyone who hasn't both read the book and seen the movie; but, these are the main canon anchors for how i'm structuring coryo and the overall plot:

it's implied pretty clearly (imo practically outright stated) in the book epilogue that he plans on marrying livia cardew, specifically because he has disdain for her and therefore he's safe from love distracting him in his greater goals. i have to dig out my copy for specifics but i think something in her family is also of use to him, wealth/ status/ maybe both (is her mom a reporter or a banker? something like that...) she comes up much more specifically in the books; if i remember correctly, she's mentioned in the movie during the reaping, but that's the extent of it. given that both the book series/ movie confirm he has a granddaughter, it's a safe assumption that he did get married, had a child, ergo, granddaughter. and because suzanne collins is a genius, i do think she pretty clearly established that livia was that first link in that familial chain. so, that's where the livia stuff comes from in caveat emptor, and why i think it's inevitable to confront in some way.

i also think this is something the book, by virtue of the medium, is able to convey so much better than the movie -- but where we are in his young adult life, coryo thinks of himself as much more clever, sneaky, capable, etc., than he actually is. i absolutely love how he twinges on unreliable narrator (for lack of a better word) in the sense of how he views himself vs. how others see him. he does, however, over the next few decades, manage to become president and hold that position. by no means does that inherently value a person or give merit to their mind and skills, to be president, lol, but, it does mean that he becomes at least more refined in those senses. life does that to you. but even looking at who we are before / after starting higher education, that is nowhere near the end of adulthood evolution. my friends and i often discuss the "ego death of 22," where, sometime after your early 20s, when you think everything is pretty solid and you have it figured out, you look back and go - wow - no, nowhere near it, and maybe i was actually kind of horrible. i have a ~24 year old colleague / good friend of mine who went through a really severe breakup last february and we've discussed this, he sees it at his 'ego death' event in a sense. while things don't need to change by a big shocking event (i.e. personally i can't say there's one specific earth-shattering thing for me that contrasts 22 vs. 25 year old me but there was definitely a personality shift pre-covid lol), i do think we're eeking up on that natural human timeline at the end of TBSOS book/movie alike, and, would be rapidly approaching post-University graduation. i think there's something really.. meaty there, so to speak.

also clearer from the book but implied in the movie's last meeting between coryo and dr. gaul (to the best of my memory, i don't recall how specifically she talked about him studying under her) - he does become at the least an apprentice gamemaker and i would call it an externship during the uni years. now, personally, i think that, while the games clearly became more and more integral to politics/ society under their work together as they grew and became overall more intricate, it wouldn't have been the only thing he worked on. i don't want to forget / downplay how significant his access to the plinth fortune is. we don't know when exactly he became president, who he networked with -- goes back to livia and her family's status definitely being integral to him as well, to have all his ducks in a row to become president. he would have had to formally turn to more outright political avenues at some point. but, without knowing much more about how government actually is structured and works in panem, that feels like too much speculation that i could definitely have fun with writing buuuut as I said, this fic is kind of rooted in canon compliancy, and i don't want to steer too far into the weeds. so, i think it's a very reasonable assumption that, at least by now, he would be on the way to be head gamemaker. i also don't think that dr. gaul would particularly willingly give up her own status and power, but, (1) i do think that especially after 4 years of exclusive training and refining of the games (and i think it's a safe assumption to model the University after traditional american higher ed in that respect) she would be a little more comfortable handing over the reigns to a worthy replacement because she's definitely proud of her work but still finds great joy/ satisfaction in having others see the value of her work and spread it themselves (we never see her being AS megalomaniacal as others and she can/ does delegate and co-work without resentment) , and (2), this is possibly another big foundational step in coryo's bloodthirsty climb to power. even though the 10th games were wiped from society as per the book, coryo still made waves, and people would remember/ start to see and keep him in mind, especially as the capitol flourished more and more growing out of the war reconstruction decades and everything moved towards the grandeur we see in the original trilogy. so, i think having him be head gamemaker upon graduation would be functionally and visually advantageous.

last point with this then goes to the timeline: it's said in TBSOS book that the games happen before Academy graduation. there's mention of a neighbor gamemaker-in-training who "recently" graduated from University and is just starting the gamemaker position. we know the games happen with a specific note of July 4 - and again, that graduation comes afterwards. there's also a musing by coryo that other secondary schools have earlier graduations. but the neighbor note to me implies that university graduation comes first - and again, this aligns with traditional american timelines at least that i am familiar with: most compulsory education starts in sept and ends in june, whereas higher ed starts in august and ends in may (again, based off my own knowledge). so, even if the academy adjusts that timeline to have a later graduation in july that's post-games, it woud still be reasonable and canonical to assume that university graduation is roughly a month earlier. this is why i put the graduation happening in june and thinking of the games coming a month later, and how that could, again tying into PR considerations, be why coryo could plan out an engagement and wedding along this timeline, very conveniently before formally starting his professional life and putting himself out in the public sphere as an adult. to bring this all full circle back to livia- while coriolanus, definitely by the time of the original trilogy, understands that the games are more than a spectacle with a winner (RIP the cranes), and was most likely molded this way after TBSOS events/ direct tutelage under gaul, he also knows very keenly the power of appearance and appeal. i think that, to him, appearing confident, accomplished, with an excellent resume, and a "perfect" family to show off - especially with grandma'am's likely decline/ likely imminent passing, and tigris distancing herself more and more, as well as the plinths basically only being as good as a bank book for him... how else can he present his impeccable image, perfectly polished and rounded off, than by showing off the perfect wife?

UGHHHGHGHGH oh wow i'm so sorry this is so long, i used your comment as an opportunity to really just show how i'm thinking and lay out the transparency of where my assumptions and the fic come from. i kind of wonder if, with all of this in mind (if ANYONE reads it hahahahahaha) if anyone can look back on chapters 1 and 2 and pick up on where i feel like the fic could be going. again, all remains to be seen.

#god i am SO sorry for how long this answer is. and it's pretty off topic #but this is like.. the way i think of fics? and structure them? i love canon compliance honestly #like i don't see it as creatively limiting #if anything i see it as an opportunity to be creative and make a secret second world work within the fictional confines already created #plus getting analytical with the source material to reasonably extrapolate and work with the canon #MAAAAN. i'm SO sorry i just went off #ilyyy thank you sm for the support. really really really. <33333 #order up for:#order up for: anon #caveatcoryo

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