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thebenjiblackwoodexpress · 4 months ago

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Jump then Fall prt.6

Description: Aeron must win back the heart of Y/N after breaking her trust, but he must also deal with his unwanted betrothal to Roslyn Tully in order to be with the woman he loves.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Warnings: female reader, pure angst, Canon typical misogyny, mentions of slut shaming, slight non-con kiss.

ℑ'𝔩𝔩 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔤𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔰, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔰𝔥𝔢'𝔩𝔩 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔉𝔬𝔬𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔬𝔫𝔢~ 𝔗𝔞𝔶𝔩𝔬𝔯 𝔖𝔴𝔦𝔣𝔱

Y/N had not wanted to dance with Edmund Bracken, he was pompous and had little respect for those he viewed below his station, which included her and her family. But he was part of Aeron's family and she would at least try to be amicable for him. Shooting Aeron an apologetic glance, she allowed Edmund to take hold of her hand and waist to turn her about the room.

"You seem very close with my cousin Ser Aeron, Y/N." Of course he would never address her as "My lady" as Aeron always had, he had no such respect.

"We have been since we were children and I should hope that it's obvious that we love one another."

"Did he tell you that?"

"What?"

"That he loved you?" Y/N was dumbfounded by Edmund's question. Of course Aeron had told her he loved her, they were very open about their love for one a other, she did not see a reason to hide it when she was certain they both felt the same for one another.

"I do not take your meaning Ser" she spoke through gritted teeth.

Edmund simply shot her a smile that was all teeth with no warmth. "Only that I'd be wary of how publicly you have expressed your...affection for one another. I do not wish to be the one to tell you that my Lord Uncle has promised his hand to another. I am sure that he does love you in his own way if he has said so."

Y/N was furious that Aeron's own cousin would speak such lies about him, spew such vitriol, attempt to stain his honour in such a despicable manner. He could never understand the faith she had in Aeron, their bond of trust unbreakable.

She was sure her face must look like a stormcloud and she spat back "You lie."

Before she could get another word out to defend the man she loved Aeron had cut in and wrapped her in his arms, with Edmund mumbling a final case for her to consider what he had said. So happy was she to dance with Aeron after he had so oft avoided her at his uncle's banquets, falsely believing his feelings to be unrequited, she was able to cast Edmund's taunts from her mind entirely.

That was until the world came crashing down around Y/N as Lord Bracken revealed to the whole hall how foolish she had been to believe the word of any man, even one she had trusted since childhood and loved almost all of her life.

She could bear to look at Aeron for only a second before she swiftly fled the hall, not caring what any of the guests thought of her. From his pleading look she was sure he would follow her and so she tried to prepare herself to do that which was hardest, to safeguard her heart and reputation from any further damage she would have to place a wall between them that could never be pulled down.

Aeron ignored his Uncle's shouts and the shocked expressions of the guests gathered in the hall, sprinting out so fast he almost tripped over several times in his desperation to reach Y/N and explain everything. He quickly caught up with his lady, wrapping an arm around her waist to halt her movements at the end of the hallway atop the stairwell that would lead her out of his home. His words were frantic, his heart beating wildly in his chest. "Y/n please, I beg of you to let me explain." Y/N pushed him away from her, whipping her head around to fix him with a glare so fierce but full of sadness. Tears streamed down her face already and he thought he would die at the devastation and distrust evident upon her face, all which he had caused. "Did you know?" Each word was enunciated so he could not misunderstand her question.

He had to force himself to answer, to admit that he had in fact known about this farcical betrothal and kept it from her. He had of course never meant to go through with it, he'd been under the impression that his Uncle had forgotten about it entirely once he'd stormed from his halls. He was struck by his own selfishness and carelessness, to Y/N of all people, the one person he had always wanted to put her faith in him. Taking a deep breath, aware that his next words would irrecovably alter the already tenuous invisible string of fate he had always believed tied them together, he spoke. "Yes, but you must believe me when I say that I never entertained even for a moment the idea of marrying any other but you. I could and would never." In that moment Aeron knew that no explanation would ever be enough to atone for what he had done. As her face fell into a look of utter despair, he felt the invisible string break as she lost her trust in him and cut the cord herself. He wanted her to rail at him, shout at him, strike him even if it would make her feel better, though he knew she was much too gentle for it. Anything but the tears and look of utter betrayal she now bore which cut him to the quick.

Her voice came out so soft and broken it sent an acute pain through his chest, through his very soul, to know that he had hurt her so deeply. "I defended you. I trusted you. You wanted to know what your cousin said to me. He told me that you were already betrothed, that you had no intention of marrying me, that everyone knew it too. I trusted you so completely, wanted you so desperately that I would not believe it. But he was right, you had no intention of ever marrying me. Indeed it is I who have been foolish, you never made me any such promises."

Aeron floundered briefly at a loss for how to comfort his Y/N, to prove his love for her. He would get on his knees and profess it over and over if he had to. "Y/n please don't believe for even a second that I would ever cast you aside for another. I have only ever wanted you. I have never and will never love another." He could hear the desperation in his own voice, his throat restricted and closing up, thick with his own tears. His words did nothing to assuage Y/N's anger however. "Love isn't enough Aeron, not for an unmarried woman and truthfully I don't understand how you could have ever loved me and yet kept something so essential a secret. I gave you my heart so publicly. Even that Blackwood who attacked me knew the truth of it better than myself" she muttered the last part and shock jolted through him at her remembrance of the Blackwood bastard calling her a whore. He found he could barely breathe at such a horrific notion, that he could have had anything but pure intentions towards her.

He spoke his next words carefully, looking into her eyes all the while in the hopes that she would read the veracity of them in his eyes. "My intention has always been to marry you, my love for you always pure. Anyone who doubts it cannot see with their eyes. Do you not understand the depth of my feelings for you, how my heart beats as one with yours?" In an act of pure desperation he feverishly pulled her to him and kissed her with an intensity that caught her off guard. It took Y/N a couple of seconds to react before she forcibly shoved him from her. Aeron's intention had been to pour all of the love he felt for into this kiss and allay Y/N's fears that there could be anyone but her for him, but he instantly knew that he had done the wrong thing as she pushed him again. Had she not just told him of her fears for her reputation, her wariness of his true intentions? He was a fool to think any physical comfort could have convinced her that his feelings for her had a stronger foundation than mere attraction.

Y/n was incensed, to kiss her now after what she'd just said. It was almost cruel. He made no move to stop her as she pushed him in the chest a third time before letting out an agonising sob and turning her head away from him. He stood a few paces apart from her, his head bowed downward. He tried to restrain himself from reaching out to embrace her as he heard her laboured breathing and saw her try to steady it with a hand on her chest, concerned she would faint. "How can I acquit myself to you" He begged solemnly, his voice coming out weaker than he had intended. Y/N turned fully back to him to drive a dagger straight through his already broken heart with her words. "What you've done cannot be undone. I wish for you to never touch me again. Do not follow me." And to respect her wishes he remained where he stood to watch the only woman he would ever love flee from him a second time that night.

He waited for hours each day underneath their favoured meeting place, the familiar leaves of the golden brackentree doing nothing to calm his perpetually racing thoughts and growing despair as another day passed where he did not see his love, did not hear her voice. It was on the fifth day when he next saw Y/N as she made her way up the hill to their tree, her head turned downward. He dared to hope that she had sought him out. But no, she looked surprised and quite frankly alarmed to see him as she finally looked upon reaching the summit of the hill. Perhaps she had also hoped to find solace here where they had both once been so happy. Aeron quickly stumbled to his feet, hoping she would allow him to explain himself better this time and to regain her favour. But to his dismay she immediately turned back whence she had come and walked at a brisk pace away from him. This time he did not idly stand by but pursued her with long strides.

"Y/N I have loved you since I've known you. Please do not doubt it. You have been a part of every hope and dream, every waking thought and it has always been my greatest desire that you should be my wife and Lady Bracken."

Aeron followed Y/N ceaselessly down the hill, though she did not slow her pace or look back at him once. Reluctant to touch her or invade her space as he had mistakenly attempted at the banquet, all he could do was beg her to listen to his entreaties. A glimmer of hope etched its way into his heart when Y/N suddenly halted at the base of the hill but it was quickly dashed by her expression, an admixture of despair and anger that pulled at his heartstrings and made him hate himself more than he already did for causing the woman he loved such pain with his utter carelessness. She spoke but a few words to him but they struck him like a blow and echoed in his mind days after. "I do not wish to speak to you or see you ever again Ser, if you ever cared for me at all I ask that you respect my wishes and never approach me hence." Y/N's voice trembled on the last few words, but she was resolute. Nonetheless he pleaded "Please do not order me away from your side" losing any semblance of restraint and pulling her back towards his chest, one hand wrapped around her shoulders as he placed his head upon her shoulder, the other gripping her waist to hold her against him. Y/N was swift to remove herself from his arms, Aeron quickly dropping them once he felt her shifting. He would not keep her there against her will.

Y/N let in a shaky breath as she tried to hold in a sob but said no more, merely walking in the direction of her home. Aeron stood rooted to the spot, praying to the gods that she would glance back at him, even while knowing she would not.

Another week passed where Aeron had no word from Y/N, despite the various missives he had sent by raven, hoping they would be more acceptable to her than seeing him at present. He could barely eat or sleep, so consumed was he by his grief as he started to believe he had really lost his love. That he could not win her back. His uncle remained insistent on the matter of his betrothal to Roslyn Tully, although upon his return to the banquet Hall where Y/N had fled she had made it clear that she had no more desire to marry him than he had her. This renewed his hope in swaying his uncle's mind peaceably. He would not marry anyone but Y/N, he'd sooner put himself to the sword and had threatened his uncle with as much.

With so much time alone to think he began to believe the true problem lay in the tensions between the Blackwoods and Brackens to begin with. They'd fought for so long they hardly knew what for. We're they truly to destroy one another over feuding Targaryen rulers so far from the Riverlands? A strange occurrence had him questioning everything he had ever believed about duty and loyalty, about the hatred of the Blackwoods he had inherited. Two days past, Benjicot Blackwood had arrived at the front entrance to his halls cradling his dearest cousin in his arms and looking at her like she was that most precious to him in the whole world. He had known then that it was a look of love, he was sure he'd looked at Y/N just the same. Taking his cousin from Benjicot's arms, careful not to jostle her injured ankle too badly, he discovered a newfound respect for the future lord of Raventree and ordered his uncle's bannermen to let him pass freely back into Blackwood land.

If he could treat with the Blackwood heir, perhaps they could forge an alliance that would put an end to the years of strife and conflict that had cost both sides so much already. It was a bold idea, but one that would no doubt save countless lives and secure both Aeron and Benjicot the chance to marry the women they loved without the pressing weight of political alliances and boundary stones to hinder them.

He jolted up from his slumped position on his desk and scrambled to find paper and ink for the two letters he was about to write. One would go to Raventree, an appeal to Benjicot Blackwood to treat with him on the boundary lines that separated their lands and Houses. The other would go to Y/N. He was not certain he would ever be able to make amends or earn her love back, but he owed it to them both to share this wild idea of his that she might understand his pure intentions towards her, that his love for her had always been true. He had spent hours upon hours pacing back and forth, writing and rewriting his letters to her, considering how each word might be interpreted. This time he knew exactly what he wanted to say, so sure was he in the course he had set. With a final flourish of his quill, he blew on the parchment to dry the ink and rolled up the letter which contained within it all his hopes for future happiness.

My Dearest Love,

I realise that no promises or professions of love will sway your heart and I understand now that they could never have sufficed for what I have done. I will offer you tangible proof of my love instead so that if you cannot bring yourself to love me once again, you will have no doubt of my truest intentions or the depth of my love for you, which reaches farther than the ancient roots of the Brackentree where first we met. I think often of my good luck in being the one to catch you that day and for every moment since with you. I will treat with the heir to Raventree in the hopes that we may put aside our ancient grievances to forge a new path of peace between our two Houses and, gods willing, avert a terrible conflict. Should I fail in this admittedly bold undertaking, I will assure you now that nothing will or ever could have persuaded me to marry Roslyn Tully, an act which would have ensured the perpetual misery of three parties.

With all the love that I possess,

Your Good Knight

I actually had so much fun writing this, weirdly think I'm most comfortable writing angst over fluff. It must be the track 5 girlie in me (for all my fellow swifties).

@lovebabe18 @poppyflower-22 @ithilwen-blackwood @spinachtz @lady-callisto @twistytimesandthoughts @abookloverlawyerfan-blog @mymoonempress @alexandracgg

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