#the finale was the longest episode but it felt so so short

[hotasfahrenheit]

At its core, Kiseki: Dear To Me is a show about boys picking up other boys and sitting on each others laps and kissing each other and that's really perfect honestly, 10/10, no notes

[sapphicscholar]

Hacks Episode 3x09 Thoughts

Okay, so back during S2, I wrote up my thoughts about each pair of Hacks episodes as they dropped – partially for sharing but largely as an archive for myself of my own thoughts/feelings to revisit when I watched the episodes later to see how they held up, how it compared to watch them serially vs. as a whole season, etc. Anyway, I was incredibly stressed out and busy for much of this season (after over a year of that being the key set of words to describe my life), but I wanted to throw out my thoughts about the finale before they grow too stale! And maybe I’ll come back and revisit the prior episodes in posts later when I have the time (hopefully in just a couple short weeks!) to enjoy them properly

As always, disjointed bulleted lists are the name of the game, going from the big picture to the detailed:

Overall, this felt like a very solid episode in the vein of season 1 in many ways! It brought us back to the interpersonal as the primary ground of conflict after many episodes (here and in S2) of the new hour, the special, and the Late Night host gig quest being our main plot drivers (which, at many times, made for weaker storytelling for reasons that exceed the scope of this post!). In particular, I felt like this episode hit its stride around the halfway point, and never really faltered after that in impressive ways!

That being said, I had two somewhat significant critiques of the finale (both of which reflect larger trends about strands of the show that continue to leave me a little disappointed)

We should have seen Marcus' conversation with Deborah about the new job. Period. I'll get into what could have been cut in my second critique, but even if there weren't weak spots in the episode, I still would have been deeply disappointed in the show for this oversight, especially since they apparently filmed it. Although Hacks is clearly a show with a leading duo, it once had a core ensemble, but S2 saw them moved more and more to B-plots and bit roles, and now S3 has seen many of the characters we know and love eliminated almost entirely--a point that's particularly galling given that it's almost entirely characters of color (many of them canonically queer) who have been cut in favor of new white characters. Moreover, this scene would have been SO IMPORTANT - I could have seen it going 2 ways: a) Marcus quits after the convo where Deborah tells Ava she's willing to lose her, and Deborah has a reaction that is so utterly outsized because it's the terror of losing the person she's had with her the longest now compounded with the reality setting in that she's also driven away the woman who gave her new life when she most needed it; or b) Marcus shows up to quit, and Deborah immediately launches into a rant about Ava's leaving, which puts Marcus in the awkward spot of adding to that at a pivotal moment in the career of the woman he's spent much of his adult life with or giving up something he needs to do for himself; it could have been a lovely callback to S1 when he shows up with his whole speech prepared but then accepts the promotion without ever telling Deborah how he feels - only this time Marcus would have changed so much, and he'd have the opportunity to showcase that growth by insisting that he needs to do this for him. So many lost opportunities...

re what could have been cut because imo it did NOT work: Kathy Vance's return. Now, I love Hacks in large part because it insists on the complexity of its characters. No one is purely the victim or the hero of the story, and Deborah's "click" moment showcased that better than anything. AND YET the writing here did not work. Back in the Christmas ep, I messaged a friend saying I was glad that they brought Kathy back but seemed not to ask us to side with her - after all, she comes crashing back into Deborah's life, doesn't take ownership over her actions and in fact insists she was in the right because it only happened a few times, because Deborah wasn't sleeping with him (very "you weren't playing with it, so it's mine now" little sister energy that is deeply unappealing in a grown ass adult), and because they were the "better couple" which is, I'm sorry, NEVER the fucking thing to tell someone whose marriage and life you destroyed. I joked then that I'd take back my compliments if her role in the finale suggested that actually we should be on Kathy's side here. And lo and behold... What's a real bummer is that there were ways to do this better! Because you can have sympathy for an imperfect character--this show is a testament to that fact!--but not like this. We as an audience have no reason to side with Kathy when she insists that Deborah will be worse than ever and berates her for cutting their weekend short. Instead, we see a woman with a large sense of entitlement she's done nothing to earn and directorial choices that don't make it a smooth transition. But what could have been lovely is, for instance, treating the Christmas and finale reunions as these deflationary moments of anticipation and disappointment because they are, after this many decades, essentially strangers to one another. Had we seen two women who longed for the deep affective ties of their childhood relationship only to be confronted with the cold hard fact of their estrangement from one anther, it would have been so much more powerful. And here you could ACTUALLY garner sympathy (some) for Kathy by having it be this moment of "I lost my sister" partially through her own actions "to Late Night once, and now, right when I have a chance to try to build something with her again, I feel like I'm going to lose her again before I can even really try to do right by her this go around." THAT could have worked. This was just too much time on something that did almost nothing in the grand scheme of the plot (because we didn't have the emotional connection to feel it as another compounding loss for Deborah in an episode where Ava's "and you're going to die alone" could have landed with even more force)

Okay so it turns out this is getting hella fucking long, so some shorter praise and giddy feelings things:

I LOVE how often Ava got to say the things we've all been squeeing about for years during this episode - especially that the material is good because of their relationship, not the other way around; their dynamic is not incidental to the work, and that's so important to me personally.

I had guessed that Ava would be offered head writer and quit her current job, only to have it taken away because Deborah was too scared to rock the boat, but I did NOT see the end coming! In fact, I kind of thought Ava might end up suing Deborah for intellectual property theft (using material Ava wrote outside of her contractual appointment for the new show because, surprise surprise, the writers who sucked when she was a guest still suck now compared to Ava!) In fact, I sort of thought that end scene might end up being a return to the car scene, and was relishing the thought of Ava's mimicking Deb's "It'll be fun, honey." But the blackmail as a form of love/devotion was soooo much better. Truly chef's kiss.

Also the way this rewrote the S2 finale even as the underlying message remained the same is so special to me - I'll stay with you even when it's bad for me (sacrificing my career -> sacrificing my morals) because it's good for you and more importantly it's good for us and the work. JPL know how to write a finale, and I'd give up a kidney to have that same energy be there throughout a whole season again (not that the eps are bad, but they lack some of the sharpness in writing and emotional depth that JPL do so well with finales and also often with the first couple eps of a season too)

Lastly JPL going on the record that Deborah was turned on by that final scene + Ava's "I would, wouldn't you?" and "Let's begin" - truly some of the hottest TV. We're so back babyyy. No more half naked superheroes with all the eroticism of a desk chair. Give me messy women determined to fling themselves into the air because they know the thrill is worth everything good and safe they're leaving behind, even if they hit the ground with no parachute!

I have many, many thoughts about S3 and what's to come, but I'll save them for another post because phewww this got long as fuck

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.

When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?

Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?

I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.

I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.

An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.

So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.

Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡

[noridoorman]

Episode 8 - is it good or not?

Heyo, people!

As you may or may not have noticed, a lot of people are decisive over this episode.

Some say that it was the best finale ever and that it's the perfect conclusion for murder drones.

Other say that it had many great parts but was lackluster in others.

And even some say that the episode was terrible or not good enough to qualify as a finale!

I'm here to share my thoughts about the episode, though, remember, everyone is entitled to their opinion and if you don't agree with me, that's fine! You can always share your own thoughts and feelings :)

Personally, I loved the episode. I loved all the scenes that were there. There was no part that I disliked, hated or even felt neutral about. Everything that WAS THERE was great.

So let's talk about the things that weren't there but should have been.

I have to agree with the people that said that it was too short; because it truly was.

There were moments I had hoped to be there to resolve the story a bit more, I guess? Or at least to make it feel more like a conclusion to THAT story (since there will be a spin-off, I think?).

I would have loved there to be a proper scene of Khan and Nori reuniting (duh). I'm a huge Khori fan, have been since episode 2, and when Nori was revealed to be alive, I couldn't wait to see a scene where they reunite. After Khan thinking he had to kill his own wife in mercy just to see her alive, he should have been emotional in some way. (Fun fact, for the longest time, my favorite scene was in episode 2 where Khan hugged Uzi; a slow and emotional scene that I wish Khan could have gotten with Nori too.)

Not only that, having J fixing the spaceship be at the end-screen seems a bit... disappointing? Overall, I find her ending to be much more worse than what the Solver got. Tbh, I kinda wished her connection to Tessa to be focused on just a little, like having V say something like "And you think Tessa would be proud of you?!" Really, anything to bring that up, because it's obvious that J was hurt.

I also would have loved if the ending (when Uzi made her presentation) went a bit longer and slower. Like a proper end where they all leave the classroom, Nori and Khan telling Uzi how proud they are (WHICH WOULD BE SO CUTE HELP) Thad congratulating her on the presentation, Lizzy and V acting like it was the worst thing they heard but Uzi knows they're trying to be funny and then maybe once they're all gone except N HAVE THE NUZI KISS or them hugging.

Really, just anything so that the ending would be slower and more calm, especially after the fast and erratic episode.

And I really really don't like how it ends in a funny perfectly cut scream kind of way (remember episode 5?). For any other episode that would have been fine, but for the finale, in my opinion, something slower works better so that the fact that the show is ending now can slowly sink in as you properly say goodbye to the amazing cast of characters. And they need a bit rest, tbh hahaha

All in call, I give the episode a 9/10 just because of the missing stuff that would have been perfect for the finale :') But as I said, I loved every bit.

Goodbye and stan Nori

[grifff17]

Audiodrama Sunday 04/28/24

So much stuff this week! I think this is going to be my longest writeup yet!

@camlannpod what the fuck? Trying to avoid spoilers, but the ending of that episode was wild. The sound design for the last scene was so good. Also “You're good with an axe, right?” was brutal, I audibly said "oof". Only 1 more episode in the season, hopefully they get funding for a second one.

The first episode of @wanderersjournalpod came out this week. This was a promising start to a new show, I'm excited to see where it goes from here. The setting feels very mystical, I can't wait to learn more about the world.

@worldsbeyondpod was so tense. Suvi and Ame had the most awkward conversation in existence. This story has so much nuance, neither of them are clearly in the right, though I feel inclined to take Ame's side due to the "Geas + Alter Memory" double espionage scheme. Meanwhile Ursulon discovers that Orima of the Reaching Green is a short queen and gets a cool horse.

I'm now up to date with @lostterminal. Season 15 was great. I love Nia, and Daphne and Raffi were really interesting new characters. Also, the dragon was terrifying. This show doesn't usually have very much action, so the confrontation with it really stood out. The description of the automatic turret going "click, click" as it locked on to Maddie was so intimidating.

@worldgonewrongpod I loved this episode. The storytelling felt so natural and real, like someone telling me a story about a weird road trip they went on. I think I said this about the last episode too, but this was my favorite episode yet. It also sets up the backstory which was never really explained as to why Jamie and Malik are separated at all.

In @midstpodcast we finally had a nicer episode. No horrible fucked up Weep/Trust stuff happening, just Lark reunited with Zeila and Sherman. However, there's so much tension between these characters. I was surprised that Lark forgave Sherman for selling her out. Something to remember is that Lark and Sherman had been hooking up before everything went to shit, which was mentioned once and I think really changes their relationship.

New @keepitsteadypod! This is the first new episode of this show since I started doing these. This was a really cute episode. For how popular fake dating is as a trope in fandom spaces, you don't see a lot of it in audiodramas.

Fun episode of Mission Rejected this week. It was cool to see Bowden go from "vain actor" to "badass spy" when the stakes ramped up. We don't get to see him take charge very often, it was neat for him to be a competent leader. I wonder if the gang lying to Zelda(who definitely saw through it) and Chet(who probably didn't) is foreshadowing for more of a conflict with the new Secretary of Defense later in the season. Also I loved the squabbling gay couple running an illegal mining operation as the villains of the week.

@breakerwhiskey episode 200 wow. A letter from Harry! We learned that Harry has been listening to most of Whiskey's broadcasts, which recontextualizes a lot of the previous episodes. Also, the end was heartbreaking.

I started season 2 of @longcatmedia's Mockery Manor! I'm 2 episodes in and really like it so far. JJ and Bettie are employed in different parks, JJ is on the run from an organized crime ring, and Bettie became a monk? Also, it's clear that neither Hilda nor Jenkins stole the shipment, neither of them have motive. But I don't know who else would have motive either. Lots of mysteries this season.

Spout Lore had a great planning episode. I'm excited for the "saving Highspear" arc, the Highspear is so cool as a concept. A reverse Tower of Babel, that lets the whole world talk with each other. A literal monument to wizard hubris, which feels destined to fall. However I doubt it will, because, as the players mentioned, it would be really annoying from a storytelling perspective if everyone suddenly spoke different languages. This has actually made me realize I really want a story set shortly after some sort of "fall of the Tower of Babel", where communication is a struggle, but that's just because I think linguistics is cool. Anyways, the buffet talk had me rolling.

What a great week! However, it did not help my queue, which continues to grow instead of get smaller. I'll reach the end of it one day.

[starlightkun]

2024 tumblr wrapped

i was (sort of) tagged by @suhnandmoon (ilysm sunny you're literally so sweet im so honored that pur autre vie and the strawbsunday anthology were some of your favorite fics of 2024). i wrote so many fics that i'm really proud of, tried out new genres, and just had so, so much fun writing in 2024 (so much so that i wrote like 150k more than i did in 2023...)

2024 fic stats

number of works posted: 25 ! (i counted sequels that had different titles to the original fic as separate and multi-parts that were just part 1, 2, etc. as one work) fics in progress: 2 (oh my god who am i?? i only have two official wips wth) total words written: 392.3k in 2024 (that's actually so crazy omfg... i think i need to go outside actually)

top 5 fics (by notes)

1. that hot (sungchan x reader, meet-ugly/forced proximity trope) 2. tongue-tied (model!jeno x journalist!reader, revised sleepless cinderella route for a former member that was deleted) 3. filler episodes (punk drummer!sungchan x normie!reader, band au, the beginning of the venue:hell au) 4. out of left field (baseball player!jisung x rich kid!reader, brother's best friend au/college au, holiday themed) (yall omg that was posted a week before the end of the year?) 5. tourist trapped (sungchan x reader, getting stuck on a ferris wheel, secret relationship)

fun fact, half of my top ten most popular fics in 2024 were sungchan fics

most recent fic

out of left field (baseball player!jisung x rich kid!reader, brother's best friend au/college au, holiday themed)

longest fic

frankenstein complex BY FAR at almost 68k words lmao

favorite fic i wrote

god this is SO HARD, i played around in so many new genres and with a lot of different dynamics and just put out SO MANY fics i adore... if i had to pick ONE, it really has to be frankenstein complex. even tho it didn't get nearly the notes that my other fics do, i did it for the arts not the charts and the people who did read it left THE MOST AMAZING FEEDBACK EVER AND WERE SO INTERACTIVE AND INVESTED it rlly has been... dare i say... a cult classic. sci-fi is my favorite genre to read in my own free time and it was so much fun to finally take a crack at writing it this year (twice)

goal for 2025

keep having fun!!! like i felt absolutely zero pressure or stress while writing this year, it truly was my favorite hobby, and i really want to keep that groove in 2025. ngl, i wouldn't mind my word count going down IF it means that i'm like going out doing things and hanging out with friends and stuff 😅 like this year was incredible from a creative standpoint, but also between work and this, i spent a lot of time inside on a computer...

fave fics books i read this year

sooo i don't really read fic anymore blasphemous i know, but i will rec my favorite books that i read this year:

the complete robot - isaac asimov

this isn't actually all of asimov's robot short stories, but it's most of them. some of his lore was direct inspiration for frankenstein complex. i like this particular compilation not only bc it has all of my favorite short stories, but i think the introduction at the beginning is worth reading as well. asimov discusses the difference between Robot-as-Menace and Robot-as-Pathos stories and i think abt it all the time. my favorite short stories in here are robbie(!!), light verse(!), true love, satisfaction guaranteed(!), feminine intuition, reason, and the bicentennial man(!)

mouthful of birds - samanta schweblin (translated by megan mcdowell)

this is another short story compilation with several focusing on women and various, insidious ways that they're oppressed under the patriarchy (also, the author is argentine, and the characters/setting are clearly meant to be in south america as well), but it's all shown and represented through a surrealist, borderline horror lens at some points. like, don't read this one if you're looking for a light, easy read. there's some body horror and odd, dark imagery, but it's also so, so good. my favorites are mouthful of birds(!!), headlights, the merman(!!), heads against concrete, a great effort, the heavy suitcase of benavides(!)

being mortal - atul gawande

this is a nonfiction book about how we approach mortality, dying, end of life care, and death in the west. the author is a doctor and provides a lot of great insight both professionally and personally. despite the topic, i found it actually be a very optimistic and inspiring read if you can handle open and honest conversation and depictions of grief and mourning

don't really have anyone to tag and it's also super late to be doing this! but if anyone sees this and wants to do it go for it and tag me, i'd love to see it and also make new writer moots <33

[queen-tashie]

Happy Storyteller Saturday! I'd love to hear about your earliest writing attempts! How old you were when you started writing, what you wrote about, the first story you finished, etc... feel free to ramble on :)

Happy Storyteller Saturday!

My absolute earliest writing was way back somewhere between grade 2 and 4 (ages 7-9ish). I tried writing my own episode of Pokemon as a picture book. (I thiiiink my parents still have it somewhere, I kind of want to take a look at it again).

I didn't really write much back then, I was more into drawing line art and making OCs that way. When I got to grade 4 or 5ish I stopped reading on my own almost completely, besides an occasional book or two, and I was more likely to read non-fiction to learn about animals (like sharks. I really like sharks.). I think as I stopped reading I also stopped writing, because I didn't start reading for pleasure again until I was 15. And then suddenly I started writing again.

Around then I mostly read YA fantasy in my free time, so I started writing a story about dragons (two brother dragons, Valdore and Arian, their father Failias, and their mother S... something with an S at least. (I could literally check this right now but I just had a huge meal and I'm feeling sluggish haha). Ok it was bugging me not knowing and I got up to look for it (and it took like 5 minutes instead of the 10 seconds I thought it would lol) and her name was Sarhina. I attempted this story a couple times but was fully pantsing it, not really sure which direction to go in. I wrote about three or four very, very short chapters before I started writing something else. Valdore was one of the OCs I had come up with back in elementary school, I think as young as 6 years old, so I was still happy that I attempted writing a story about him.

The next story I wanted to write was a futuristic apocalypse story where the main characters fought demons as they came out at dawn. This one I progressed even less than the dragon story, the OCs were much newer. Originally I had called this story Survival of the Fittest, then I changed the premise completely to the main characters either appearing in a new world or already living there (I suppose it was a genre change to a portal fantasy). I kept some of the apocalyptic vibes the same, the world had time seasons that went through the life and death of the ecosystem and structures on the land, then back to rebirth. One season was new growth, buildings were small but structurally sound, even people felt refreshed. Another season was abundance, buildings were large and had character to them, people felt their best and were at their strongest. The third season was scarcity and death, buildings crumbled from age, people were struggling to survive. Then it would start again with the rebirth of the land. Again, didn't really know where I was going with this story but the world building was much better developed than the first.

Somewhere in between both of these stories in my teens, I wrote some more Pokemon fanfic that I had started to share on DeviantArt.

There were also a half dozen or so other WIPs that I had started and didn't get further than a paragraph or two. For some reason I deleted many of these :(

Then the first novel-length story I ever finished is (BEING RELEASED TOMORROW!!!!) The Quiet Forest. Runnicka is an old OC from my elementary school drawings (though she's changed since then, I happened to get an ask earlier today that reminded me of this). It took me 11 years to finish writing it (from drafting to giving up and redrafting to finally writing my first outline to finishing the actual first draft, then many, many edits), plus a year to query over 100 agents. It's the longest I've ever stuck to anything before, and so it's been a huge accomplishment finishing it, finishing querying, and now deciding to share it online (more about the story here).

I've had a series of smaller writing wins (ie finished stories) before The Quiet Forest was finished, though! I wrote about 10 flash fictions in 2020, some that I'd like to revisit and edit to better match my current writing skill level. One of them is already ready to read on my AO3 account! And last year I wrote over 80k words between two first drafts for two separate novels, and two finished short stories, one a Legend of Dragoon fanfic (also on my AO3), and another that I wrote as a writing sample for a contract writing position (almost got in but there were hundreds of entries and only about 5 or 6 spots), but I am working to get it published! And speaking of publishing, in 2023 I got randomly inspired to write All You Hear Is My Voice which got published early this year. It's a sci fi/speculative romance where a lonely queer man has reverse telepathy--instead of hearing everyone's thoughts, he's involuntarily projecting every thought he has into the minds of others nearby. Makes it hard for him to meet understanding people, and even harder to date. The thing that makes it sci fi is that it takes place on Mars :)

[sulphuricgrin]

Gonna talk about my year and how I think I'm in a more optimistic place compared to last December. Warning: mental health, mentions of self-harm but not elaborating how, mention of previous attempt but not mentioning how. ramblings of a person who wants this outta their head.

i'm bewildered by how I got to where I am now

Let me start off with the fact that September-December 2023 was a low point. Heavy anxiety, long manic episode, taking lots of overtime, being the best in my little department but my manager refusing to do a yearly review, and a relationship I didn't know how to end led to a severe anxiety attack.

I took a month off work to work with my psychiatrist on my medication. Within two hours of my first day back, my coworker triggered my C-PTSD. Unable to flee, can't fight, I do the only thing to control my emotions - self harm. Long story short, HR notices and sends me to the hospital. I'm sent back out of work and start a partial program.

I've done this before in 2011. I do my best at the program, stayed there for a month. We change up my medication. They help me find a therapist for when I finish the program. I had some hang ups with the program. Music therapy would make me want to harm myself. I told my case worker the truth and they told me I can leave those sessions when I want.

I hate positive affirmations. I won't use examples because they're valid to other people and I don't want to be negative to what might help others. To me they always felt hollow, insipid, childish. It never clicked, no matter at what age I tried it.

I've mentioned several times that I like philosophy. During the program, I brought with me Medications by Marcus Aurelius to read during lunch or the few minutes between sessions. Quotes on stoicism became my positive affirmations in sessions.

"The happiness of you life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."

"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength."

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."

Anyways, I got better, or so I thought. The day I "graduated" as I drove home, my mom told me my dad finally died. That's a complicated situation, with complicated emotions. Anyways, I spiraled. Self-harm and isolation. By the end of the week, I was forced into inpatient.

Inpatient was immensely worthless, except for one bit. My whole ward was shut down because of fucking Covid. So you were stuck in your shared room with your roommate, no sessions, no walking around. Little stimulation. The longest 3 days of my life. I've done inpatient 2 times before, 2012 and 2017 (for suicide attempt then), so I know 72 hrs is the minimum and that as long as I'm not a risk I can leave. Thank fuck my mom was able to give me a philosophy book to read. And that I was able to get access to a pencil that I had to return at the end of the day, so I could draw (and not with crayons). I did start writing for Fate-Touched when I was in the ward.

Anyways, they helped figure out with blood tests that my Tegretol and Seroquel interact. Therefore my Seroquel has to be doubled. And they put me on Gabapentin for anxiety. I can safely say it's helping now a year later, besides upping the dosages about 3 times since. I occasionally see my therapist who's pagan. First therapist I've ever clicked with, one who believes my feelings are valid, one who doesn't think I'll change my mind about children in the future. I'd see her more often if I didn't have to pay out of pocket. But she's noticed my improvement.

a year later, I am single and happier

a year later, I work for myself. While I'm not crazy about that, it's proving to be healthier. (I didn't quit my job. they illegally fired me over my disability. Yes, I've suing)

a year later, I'm back to being creative. Similar to the levels back in 2013 and before. People are even buying my art?!

a year later, I have people I can call friends (I'm genuinely trying not to cry writing this- never mind, I'm crying)

a year later, I'm living more in the present.

it's not all perfect. I try not to think about the near distant future. I try not to think about the existential dread. But I'm trying. And it gets better.

“What we do now echoes in eternity.”

[sonkitty]

Trickery Post #2 - Bigger

Alright, before I get into exploring the thresholds aspect I have various other things to cover.

Once upon a time, there was a post by noneorother that has since been deleted. This post speculated about Gabriel seeming to expect an appearance swap before the miracle that was about to hide him due to his reaction to Aziraphale's mannerism and movement with his hands.

This post probably contributed to putting the following idea in my head: That "edited" Crowley during the angry lightning walk was probably Aziraphale. His walk is too stiff. And if that were Aziraphale, that suggested that Crowley and Aziraphale are aware and acting with intention regarding the sideburns and whatever they actually do. It would also then be not the Metatron editing the Book of Life because these characters are the ones editing the story we are watching.

Now then..

With the thresholds matter in mind, I started to reconsider something about the park scene. Crowley's newspaper was like his way of making the space more his own because it was like the newspaper was his own personal door. Additionally, even though the park is a human space, it is a human space that Crowley is more familiar with, as far as we know based on season 1.

Let's move onto Muriel.

Due to how I'd found things so far, I felt that whatever was going on with the human and supernatural thing with the sideburns, Muriel's situation was very odd and throwing me off.

When Muriel first meets Crowley, Crowley's sideburns are short. While the sideburns were also short around Shax in Crowley's first present day scene with Shax, that was still different. Crowley was in a human space at the time with other humans around, and that was the park.

The bookshop is different, especially when Crowley and Muriel first encounter each other. Aziraphale is on the lower floor. Gabriel is on the upper floor. Muriel is with Aziraphale. There are no humans in the bookshop. As such, all other beings present within the space are supernatural entities.

So, I took to studying the scene, as if I would magically find a human element in it somewhere, just by looking at it really hard, and I did. I expected it to be something I could see, though not the subtitles, but it wasn't. It was something I could hear (and so could technically be seen in the subtitles).

During the dialogue itself, the word "human" is emphasized when it is used. Muriel is lying and claiming to be human. Aziraphale can figure out himself that Muriel is not human, but he goes along with the lie itself. The bookshop is his own space and is familiar with Crowley. The bookshop ends up giving Crowley short sideburns since Crowley pretends to be human often enough. The bookshop took Muriel literally. The sideburns are kept short until Crowley is finally shown with Gabriel later in the episode.

The spaces read Crowley, and the spaces decide the reading based on things like character presence, movement, and likely memory.

Longest-length sideburns tend to show up around angels, even if not exclusively angels, and the story has a lot of clues that Crowley himself was a high-ranking angel before his Fall. So, could it be that such a length marked rank in the bookshop? Were Gabriel and Muriel like Crowley's wards or charges or some angel he had to look after "under his wing" because of their memory wipes? Muriel is never stated to have outright had one, but there are small clues they went through such a thing.

I liked the rank idea in general and felt it had merit, so I held onto it. I did not really hold onto the "ward" or "charge" idea and honestly forgot about it for a long time.

The more I examined the sideburns and the more I felt I was on the right track, the more I felt that Crowley and Aziraphale are aware the sideburns change. They look; it's hard to catch when they look, but they do. Aziraphale emphasizing "human" when Crowley meets Muriel helps indirectly tell Crowley the sideburns are short.

It's hard to summarize the supernatural zone, but I'll try.

In GO2, there are 3 scenes of Crowley being at or near his car with another demon. Each encounter ends abruptly, enough for someone like me to notice and think odd. These scenes are a clue about a supernatural zone that Crowley can manifest, further helped along by his car. In the supernatural zone, humans are phased out. There is the Earth where they are and not being disturbed by Crowley. There is an Earth where Crowley is and not being disturbed by them. Crowley kicks out the visiting demon during each encounter. The first two instances seem unintentional, and the last one seems intentional.

With Shax the first time, she is kicked out when Crowley releases his touch on the car.

With Beelzebub the second time, Crowley exits the summon from Hell when he moves his back off the throne without asking a question he wants answered by Beelzebub.

With Shax the third time, he revs up his car twice, looks where Shax was, and then Shax is gone.

That's why each interaction ends so abruptly.

For each of these encounters, there are no humans in the area. It's an isolated street. You can't really see humans through the windows either.

This zone is manifested during episode 5. Once Crowley himself enters the ball, there are no humans in the street, as far as we can tell. They're still seem to be no humans besides those Crowley escorts in the street. After they are gone, there still don't seem to be any humans in the street. The zone is deactivated in episode 6 and confirmed to be so only when Crowley himself returns from Heaven with 4 angels. My theory then went that this zone is being used through the connection that Crowley and Aziraphale made between homes.

Maybe that was why Crowley and Aziraphale move the border for the sideburns. Such a thing helped protect the street or was a trial run for something on a bigger scale for Earth overall later.

With all those things noted, we can now turn our attention back to the threshold elements that seem relevant to how the sideburns are working.

For Crowley leaving the bookshop in anger in episode 1, one of the reasons the thresholds are not the obvious component is because the sideburns lengthen and shorten based on the distance. It's not an immediate and obvious difference compared to when Crowley first entered the bookshop.

As an aside, the sideburns shorten with time from the car during a drive ("two minutes" is a clue to the sideburns game in episode 1).

That rather fits with a game idea in general, to give the bookshop distance and the car time, to affect the sideburns. It also ties in with the home-borrowing idea. They have time and distance involved through such a shared loan.

As I worked on a main sideburns post with all of this incoming information, I gave a list of "activation points" for longer sideburns. Among those, I included Hell, likely qualifying through the Bentley and Heaven, likely qualifying through the pub.

Now let's look at the pub.

Before the pub scene in episode 2, Crowley already had longer sideburns when speaking to Shax in his car. We don't see their length from when he exited his car and into the pub. All the same, they are long when he enters the pub. They are long when he and Aziraphale talk to Mr. Brown. They are long as he starts to follow Aziraphale back toward the door.

But then they aren't long just before Crowley exits the door. By then, they are short.

Before the threshold element came into play, I thought the change might be related to Mr. Brown's position or a moving car outside.

But now we do know the thresholds matter, so is there anything we can figure out about this threshold?

Yes.

I certainly had to think about it over time and watch the scene repeatedly to get the answer, but the answer is Yes.

There is a panel that runs along past the door further in and ends at a certain point further inward. The end of the panel is the end of the threshold instead of just a standard doorway. The threshold is bigger than Crowley.

The sideburns stayed long for entry. They shortened for exit.

Based on looking at drafts, it took some further time for me to consider...the pub has two lanes with its doors and its panel. What Crowley possibly did was...switch lanes when the camera could not clearly see him do it because he was hidden by the panel.

Now what about the music shop?

This one was so much harder to figure out.

That one looks like a regular door, but Crowley's sideburns still stayed longer.

There is only one human in the space.

Crowley entered the music shop.

Well...he may have entered the music shop, but you see...he kept his touch on the door after he entered while he had his thumbs in his pockets. Based on the camera work, he could be shifting when the camera isn't looking, but when the camera is looking, he is always touching the door after he entered.

Well, that threshold isn't bigger than him though, is it?

That particular door frame isn't bigger than him, no, but...he walked through a hole in the wall that is in the shape of a door before he entered.

With that extra hole in the wall and the path toward the music shop, then that is the threshold, and it is bigger than Crowley.

Even though both thresholds are bigger than him, the situation is otherwise quite different, given what is known about entry and exit.

Crowley keeping his touch on the door for the music shop looks like he meant for that to happen, possibly even to learn it. Aziraphale looks over to Crowley twice for obvious plot reasons of wanting the eventual dance but not obvious sideburns research reasons. He's multi-tasking. Aziraphale is checking that the longer sideburns are on Crowley and are staying on Crowley.

Aziraphale literally places a visible mark on the paper on the clipboard to show us that he checked. No other location gets that focus and that mark after that scene! Just that one!

Again, a little time time passed, and I came up with...Crowley never let go of the door.

Alright, we've got something going on with bigger thresholds in two human spaces causing longer sideburns.

And you know what?

Do you know what other threshold is bigger than Crowley where he has longer sideburns during the present day storyline?

The Heaven elevator.

It's not a human space, but still, there it is.

I added into my main post at some point:

So, if Hell qualifies through the Bentley, does Heaven qualify through the pub? Yes, but I'm not sure how. I'm sure based on intuition. This threshold is bigger than Crowley, just like the pub and music shop. I currently cannot explain the mechanics, but the mechanics definitely have some things that are noticed.

So, now that I'm making this series, let me put forth the question, "Is there anything special Crowley does?"

Well, there is something that catches my attention above all else. It is the most confusing thing he does. Crowley enters first. At the time, I made this mistake, "In the present day, he never does that. Aziraphale leads." This is not actually a big mistake that turned into something else later, but I am acknowledging I made it. Nonetheless, Aziraphale leads on entering and exiting the pub. He leads on entering the music shop. We don't see the exit from the music shop. So, it's at least true he was leading for what we saw of the other two bigger thresholds.

Crowley doesn't just enter the elevator first. He exits that threshold first once he and Muriel are in Heaven. Even on the exit from Heaven where we don't actually see him enter or exit the elevator, we're still given clues that he was first. He leads the walk of him, Saraqael, and Muriel to the elevator. He leads the group of the angels on the way into the bookshop.

Another thing he does is avoid touching the doors on the entrance and avoid touching the buttons. He is shown to maintain touch on the doors on exit as he has back to them.

So, we've got three bigger thresholds with Crowley having longer sideburns.

Heaven's a bit odd though since the sideburns are already staying longer, and for a supernatural space, so it's not like we can easily check that against the short sideburns with human spaces.

Speaking of Heaven, let's talk about the exit and then look back at the visit itself.

Those four angels are looking at Crowley, right?

They sure look like they are looking at him—at first glance that is.

This scene is ever so brief.

The elevator has reflective surfaces and heavy shadows, but Crowley's reflection and shadow cannot be found when we see the angels in the elevator.

Their shadows and reflections do not appear on his side either.

The four angels have mixed reactions to his presence with them, but Muriel looks sort of amazed and shocked with this mild fear in comparison to the others, in reaction to his place, not the angels surrounding them. They know who and what he is by now, so what's up with that? Michael looks incredulous. Uriel looks annoyed. Saraqael looks informed that this is expected business from the likes of Crowley and remains neutral.

Let's get that closer look of three of these four with Muriel in the middle:

Those eyes do not reflect Crowley, especially Muriel's. This is admittedly true overall for the characters of the story looking at other characters, but still, we're given some framing to show us that whatever these angels are seeing, it's still not Crowley reflected in their eyes. Saraqael gets a pass for their reaction to this part.

Then Uriel's, followed by Muriel's, eyes glance down as the light on Crowley starts to go up. Michael maintains their gaze.

Here is Crowley again after that light went up, and there are still no shadows or reflections of the angels in the elevator.

Crowley himself smiles as he remarks, "Funny old world, isn't it?"

We actually get a really good look at Crowley's sunglasses with the lights of the elevator reflected in them. The angels, however, are not reflected in those sunglasses.

Now take in the acting and the setting and think about it. Let's use our imaginations.

Those angels are looking at Crowley like he is a nothingness that is an amused Crowley.

He is also looking at them like they are a nothingness that is four angels staring at him with amusing mixed emotions.

They aren't reflected in the sunglasses. The lighting in this space could allow for it.

Aziraphale can be found reflected in the sunglasses in the street in episode 2. Muriel can be found reflected in the sunglasses in episode 3. Each time, they held an object to show Crowley.

But not here.

It makes no sense for each side to look at the other as if they are nothingness...unless they are invisible to each other.

Then it clicks. Maybe...possibly...they are invisible to each other?! That's why everyone is acting how they do. The angels aren't looking at Crowley so much as they are looking at his invisibility.

That's why Muriel is in this weird sort of amazed state despite spending the time they already have with Crowley.

That's why he thinks it's funny. They have to trust him, a demon, in that small space with him invisible in front of them. The light might have made him visible, or they can at least see the light itself.

This idea begs the question for if Crowley was invisible in the music shop in episode 5. I did not expect other people to believe me because I couldn't believe it, but I still felt the clues suggested it was possible, all things considered. I thought it was enough to say as much in the main sideburns post I had by then.

The idea also starts to clue us into something else: Crowley's sight. We don't see the angels reflected in the sunglasses, and that's actually how he usually sees the world as is. It's not a big deal for him that the angels are invisible because he senses with his eyes differently than humans and even possibly angels and demons, anyway. He has snake eyes.

While Crowley was in Heaven for his overall visit, light reflected in his sunglasses many times but never Muriel. Muriel is wearing an all white Inspector Constable uniform in a very well lit space that is Heaven. They got a reflection in episode 3 in those same sunglasses. If there is any time and place Muriel logically should show up in the sunglasses, it is here in the scenes in Heaven and this elevator part. Muriel should be reflected given all the lighting available. But they aren't.

...

Alright, so now we have some ideas going. The sideburns thing is like a game, and this game is telling us that there is something of value when it comes to thresholds and that Crowley has some special qualities about his sight. Invisibility may have happened but not in secret. Even if such a thing were true, the angels knew Crowley was there, and he knew they were there. Michael is even hinted to be an exception since Michael doesn't look down as the light goes up.

Next time, we're going to find something else that rather looks like a game as well.

(For reference: Trickery)

[daeyeol4you]

The Chay Rewatch Ep. 4

As part of my KP Rewatch, I’m going to be commenting on each episode and analyzing the different Chay scenes. He’s my favorite character, and I thought I’d put down my thoughts (as well as timestamps for his scenes) as a fun way to express that.

Ep 1 & 2, Ep 3

This one is gonna be two-parter because Tumblr has character limits, please look at the reblog for part 2

Episode 4 - The Chay Drought ends, KimChay begins

Gang we are finally back to seeing Chay outside of the previously on segment

Y’all when I tell you I was so excited for this episode

I’m so intrigued by what Porsche says in the sauna. Nampueng why the hell did you say that to baby Porsche? It does develop her character beyond the silent attic wife trapped by Korn though. Clearly, growing up as an adopted child in the mafia world hardened her enough that she felt okay saying this to a child.

Also her saying this about Chay is very telling. Porsche is the heir, the one trapped by parental expectations in a world he doesn’t like (like Kinn???). He has the responsibility to bear whatever he has to in order for Chay to be free. Chay was always meant to be outside of the mafia narrative and escape in a way Nampueng knew her first born never could. Or maybe she wanted to raise a fighter and a strategist, who knows.

Time: 26:00 – 31:19 – Return of the Best Boi

Our longest Chay scene yet, this scene is so long and I kept pausing it to write down every thought in my head.

Chay, I thought we’d never see you again

Sidenote, what’s the name of the friend Chay is with? I think the fandom named him Ohm? Because I’ve seen that name used in fanfics

 “We’ve got a kind graduate that will share his experience with us.” – I know this may be a translation thing, but isn’t Kim still a student at this university? We see him on campus later on in the series getting ragged on for not going to classes, so did the MC actually mean senior? Or maybe he graduated and then is doing his master’s at the same school?

Also, very glad we somewhat got an age on Kim since if he’s a graduate or a senior that puts him in the 21-24 age range, and since Chay is looking at schools to apply to, he’s probably 18/19 age range (yes I know Barcode was younger than that at the time of filming, but Jeff is definitely older than 21-24 so I’m not going to go by actor age). Not the worst age difference, but definitely one that exists.

Chay’s Outfit: Chay immediately stands out in the crowd with his baby blue school uniform and khaki pants. Almost every other student is wearing a very, very pale pink or blue shirt with dark shorts or skirts. The viewer is immediately capable of picking out Chay among the crowd and keeping an eye on him, a hard thing for costuming to achieve when the scene is meant to be a bunch of students all dressed nearly the same. Also, Chay’s school crest says BOC International and he doesn’t have his name sewn onto his shirt like the rest of the students (I’m assuming those are names, if I’m wrong please correct me)

“Who’s that?” “It’s Wik. How could you not know?” – Chay babes, please don’t attack your bestie like that.

Chay’s friend not knowing who Wik is when Chay literally has a whole obsessive fanboy thing going on, very interesting. I understand this is to tell the audience who Wik is, but it also says a lot about Chay’s relationship with his friends. Chay is really good at hiding things when he wants to, we see that throughout the series. The only person he doesn’t really hide anything from is Kim, and that’s honestly partially because Chay has the self-confidence of a god and Kim likes ferreting out secrets.

“I want to study here because of him.” – Oh Chay, you cute little delulu stalker. I know this gets ignored because there are so many other, bigger red flags in this story, but Chay deadass stalks Kim. And no joke, Kim falls for him because of it and later stalks him back. Soulmate behavior I guess. Chay’s red flag is a high school story red flag instead of a mafia storyline red flag so it gets buried. And Chay’s friend 100% sees that. Bro nods his head while internally going damn the delulu runs deep in this one.

Kim’s Wik Outfit: The brown leather jacket with the red lining and silver studs, the insane amount of silver jewelry, the white pants! This is such an outfit. The tendrils of hair artfully hanging in his face. Good shit. Did I stare at Jeff’s hands to see if he was wearing his family ring? Yes, and I won’t be taking questions about it.

“I’ve realized that you’re my good memory. The empty calendar is now full of your name.” “Your laughter that makes me feel like it’s Friday.” - Now I want to dissect this song because this song foreshadows the KimChay relationship so hard, and you don’t really pay much attention to it during your initial viewing because obviously the viewer first time round has no idea what kind of angst KimChay is headed for. Why Don’t You Stay gets all of the praise (obviously she’s the work horse of this drama) while this song gets crumbs. Kim singing this song in front of the person he’s going to fall in love with, who turns into the one good thing in his life, who’s ‘tutoring sessions’ (i.e. the two spy missions and medley of dates afterward) take over his calendar, and who’s laughter makes his heart warm (and 100% haunts him after he makes Chay cry)

I’m really interested in how big of a star Wik is. Chay’s friend doesn’t know him, but he’s obviously popular enough that his university (probably in exchange for some extra credit since Kim skips so much) has him as a headliner for their open house. He even draws a good-sized crowd who seem very knowledgeable about his work not just randoms who are touring the school like Chay’s friend.

I’m sorry bowl cut, drumstick boy has the best reactions throughout this scene. During Wik’s performance, dude is rocking out, and his exuberant thumbs up to what Wik says kills me. He may not be as wild as Chay, but bro is a big Wik fan so I support him. In comparison, Chay is very calm and quiet while watching his idol. He only shows his emotions when he can’t answer the questions and rants about Wik’s MVs.

Kim comes off so cold throughout this scene. The look on his face after he finishes his bit and the MC comes back on stage is dead inside. He is done. He does not want to be here. He wants to go write some songs and add pictures to his conspiracy board. I’m not saying that Kim dislikes performing and being Wik, no. I just think Kim likes the music more than he likes the performance. The public persona of Wik definitely helps him stay away from Korn’s machinations, but I think if Kim could have his music without the people aspect of being a musician he would in a heartbeat. But he puts up with it to stay away from his father.

Chay knowing all of the answers and correcting people. The looks he give the people who answer instead of him is as close to murderous as he gets in this series. If not for the laws of this land and the fact that Porsche doesn’t let him have a knife, he would have stabbed a bitch.

Anyways, there’s my obsessive fan boy! I am not joking when I say Kim fell for him because of his obsessive stalker tendencies. And his friend hyping him up, saying he’ll get the next question, and even trying to get the MC to pick Chay when literally less than an hour ago he had no idea who Wik was or the scale of Chay’s obsession. Need me a friend like that.

Speaking of, the absolute change in Kim’s expression when Chay goes on his little tangent. Bro deadass finally had some life in his eyes. He is shook and falling in love all at the same time. MC has to nudge Kim to get him out of his heart eyes moment.

I maintain that if Kim hadn’t gone all Kimlock Holmes about Porchay being Porsche’s brother he still would have obsessed over the cute boy who has the same obsessive red flag as him. KimChay are freaks who love a bit of stalking.

Bowl Cut’s “Even I didn’t know that. Who the hell are you?” – bro does Wik only have obsessive fans? Also yes, fear Chay’s power Bowl Cut Boy.

I am not gonna lie Barcode towering over people around him is so funny to me. He is baby, but that baby is six feet tall.

Chay is so happy when Kim offers to give him something else!!

[cozymidnights]

I'm very confused on what I'm feeling and I need to get it out aaaaaaaaa

(also the dub dropped super quick WTH)

First of all IT WAS SO SHORT!!! It could have done with at least 5 more minutes a lot of stuff felt rushed

knew the boy was going to pilot, I'm so happy

Also glad N and Uzi finally got their what are we talk haha

I really hoped Khan, Thad and Lizzy got to do more like I expected them to fight J at least a little bit

Totally knew V was alive

The inmaculate ex gfs vibes between V and J, amazing I need 200 fics please

For the longest time I wondered were the solver ended and cyn started and apparently they are one in the same???

Cyn/solver is a menace, so gross and terrifying one of my favorite villains of all the time

N with Ptsd was very real and it broke my heart

Fight was epic but I didn't expect less

Uzi's speech I'm cringe but free is everything to me I lover my girl so much

Uzi now has the solver core??? WHAT DOES IT MEAN??? WHAT DOES THAT IMPLY!?!?! ANSWERS PLEASE

Doll my beloved gone too soon cold have done more I feel robbed

N's artist journey is very important and I love that he's learning to draw Manga no less, he and Uzi are going to be the cringiest couple of dorks and I wouldn't wanted it any other way love them so much

Also cyn is on Uzi's head what does it mean???!!?!

Honestly Khan and Nori just to having that little exange, criminal

Also dub was really good again very close to the original so no notes

I just love that in Spanish Uzi is allowed to swear hahaha she deserves it

Overall I liked it but it feel awfully open ended, I really feel there's so much left, is it going to be more? Or that's it???

Up to episode 7 I felt the show was very good with the set up and reveal but episode 8 just left me wanting more

Seriously where's the rest of the show

Still I love the show very much and I'm so thankful to Liam and the Glitch team for it

[malachiwardyt]

Howdy, podcast side of Tumblr.

I forgot to share this here, but on the 30th (yes, I cut the deadline that close) I uploaded an explanation of the Extinction from hit horror anthology podcast The Magnus Archives as part of my ongoing series analysing the Entities one at a time. For this, the penultimate episode, I wound up going way further into detail than I expected, resulting in the video analysing the least significant Entity being the longest in the series. Whoops.

As always, here's a breakdown of the art, for the curious. Although he isn't an avatar of the Extinction (in fact, he seems to be actively fighting against it in most of his appearances), it felt wrong not to do Adelard Dekker for this piece. I really wanted to play around with colour and contrast in this one, and I think it turned out pretty nice.

I dressed Dekker himself in a grey suit with silver accents, because I wanted him to feel very ordinary. Dekker is one of the most human characters in TMA, never seeming to fall to any Entity despite interacting with them very frequently. More than that, he's about as close as TMA gets to a true hero, being at least a comparatively strong force for good. Silver, then, I chose both because it compliments his suit very nicely and because it has mythological and traditional precedent, especially in European folklore, as a deterrent for evil or the supernatural. One of Dekker's most interesting traits is his persistent faith, which I knew I had to include somehow, so I gave him a silver necklace with a cross on the end. It's simple, but it works. The only pop of colour in his otherwise monochrome dress is the tie around his neck, which I've coloured green to show his connection to the Extinction. I know I needed at least a bit of colour, and a neon, toxic green is the colour I associate with the Extinction, so I used a darkened, desaturated form of it for his necktie. I always pictured Dekker as a slender, angular man, which I've conveyed in his face and body. I wanted to give him hair that stood up a lot into short points, and while I considered making them a bit rounder, in the end, the pointed tips just stuck. Finally, there's the glowing green in his eyes, which is, of course, another allusion to the Extinction. Not to imply that he's being guided or influenced by it, simply that he sees it. He was the first to catalogue it, and, admittedly, they do stand out quite nicely against the shadows over him.

In the background, I knew I wanted a skyline with a mushroom cloud behind it, but, as I was working, I decided to make the buildings different references to Extinction episodes. Before I get to that, though, I have to talk about the colour scheme, which is mostly pale green. This was both, again, because the Extinction's colour, in my mind, is green, and because it contrasted nicely against the reds and oranges of the blast. Starting at the leftmost building, it references MAG 144: Decrypted, with numbers running down the side and an antenna on top to send out its encoded message. The next one over is a reference to MAG 175: Epoch, being a massive, Empire State-esque building with abandoned boxes and detritus scattered on its landings, alongside a few more... "living" manifestations. There are only five statements which are the MOST likely Extinction appearances, so, for symmetry, I had to pick an extra statement to throw in. This wound up being MAG 65: Binary, since it's a fan favourite and plenty of people theorise that it actually was related to the Extinction. To get the idea across, I put a few distorted faces on large screens, though I do regret not lightening the entire building up a bit. Across the empty space, we find a reference to MAG 156: Reflection, designed to mimic a large carnival sign and featuring tall windows with thin creatures in them. The windows could have been a bit smaller, but I worried that they would seem too similar to the next building. Speak of which, that brings us to the MAG 134: Time of Revelation reference, being an apartment building in a French architectural style (I don't recall which one at the moment, but I know it was a specific one) filled with figures in the windows, some of whom are half melted into walls or floors. Finally, the last building is a reference to MAG 149: Concrete Jungle, with a rounded roof to mimic the circular shabonos of the Yanomami people and a large, concrete serpent for... obvious reasons.

I think that about covers it. If you've read this far, I hope you enjoyed, and get yourselves ready for the final episode of Entities Explained dropping later this month. With that, all I have left to say is good night, Tumblr people!

[mejcinta]

HOTD S2 Episode 4 Review: OK, let's do this.

1.“I love my grandsire!” Lil Oscar Tully you are PRECIOUS!

2. “The only reason we know any of this is because of Baela’s efforts.” Look, I might just be slowly becoming a Jace shooter, lol. Especially if he continues justifiably challenging Rhaenyra’s reckless political choices idk.

3. “That castle is more crippled than I am, Your Grace.” Larys can be funny. I find it very interesting that he speaks of the ‘sapping’ nature of Harrenhal that takes up people’s mental faculties, which he supposes is already happening to Daemon. I wonder if this is a setup for what Aemond will sort of be unable to escape when he takes Harrenhal????

4. Aegon and Aemond tussling like siblings at the war strategy board was kind of adorable. On a serious note, however, it is BAFFLING witnessing how absolutely everything happens behind Aegon’s back and everyone undermines his authority. The council is rudderless and it quite frankly never felt that way for me in the book. This is overkill. I cannot suspend my belief.

5. Poor green council members always have to suffer Aegon and Aemond’s bratt-offs on the daily. It’s comical.

6. Aegon really cared so little to learn of his Targaryen heritage because for the longest time he felt disconnected and hated by Viserys who should’ve no doubt walked him through it using love, approval and attention as a means. He understands High Valyrian but bothers little to speak it. He is rebelling against his oppressors by not cooperating while Aemond rebels by perfecting and showing off. It really shows how they coped with Viserys’ neglect, their rivalry aside.

7. Daemon following Aemond’s phantom and encountering Alys Rivers. Very interesting! She definitely already knows about Aemond and the role he will play in the near future. Taking my Alysmond crumbs and running with them.

8. “YOU BORE ME. YOU ALL BORE ME.” Kingie, please. Chill!

9. “Do simply what is needed of you. Nothing.” Alicent does realize that Aegon isn’t pliable, submissive and passive like Viserys was, doesn’t she????? Aegon actually wants to DO something, not to be held captive by the designs of people in the shadows. And while his view might seem naïve it does show more initiative and drive than sitting and waiting to be controlled the way Viserys was with Otto. Also, you’d expect this amount of desperation from a father that’s grieving after his CHILD’S murder!!!!

10. “Grown tired of living?” Gwayne continues to make me laugh.

11. And Criston has been surreal as a hands-on, experienced battle commander so far. Love that for Fabien. I feel like respect is finally being put to Criston’s name.

12. Jace and Aegon both being their momma’s firstborns sons and being underestimated by them because of their youth, naivety and inexperience. I’m loving these parallels!!!!

13. SUNFYRE and Aegon playing in the dragonpit was so cute to watch. He’s like a golden retriever and Aegon pats him like a doggy. Sunfyre’s pink flames...amazing!! We’ve lost them way too soon, saw them for so short a moment!!!

14. Aegon really seems to be ‘stumbling upwards’ like Steve Toussaint once said. Charging into war unannounced so that he literally appears as protector of the realm, almost successfully killing his rival when he permits Arryk to impersonate Erryk, buying the approval of the smallfolk by offering free drinks in bars, surviving dragon fire… He is building something of a reputation for himself and it’s all by accident lmao.

15. More of this stupid prophecy shit from boring Rhaenyra uwuuuuuu.

16. LAENA cameo. I won!!! I love seeing Daemon acknowledge her importance and effect on his life.

17. I can’t believe they are they making me feel sorry for Rhaenys. I wonder what motivated her return to faceoff with Aemond: his heinous kinslaying/lawlessness OR the fact that the council would not appreciate her returning with no good results (i.e not having dealt the Greens a blow) or BOTH!

18. I demand to KNOW how Vhagar hid in the woods without House Staunton detecting her presence. Also her popping up out from under the RR castle to attack Rhaenys…wish I’d see how Aemond got there, you get me. I love observing the logistics. Ewan/Aemond is so PERFECT on Vhagar. That’s some serious dragon riding.

19. Aemond was straight flying  back to the crash site to finish Aegon before Rhaenys came after him. The fact that he didn’t care she was getting away is crazy to me. Allow Aemond some military intelligence, please.

20. Sunfyre fighting with every shred of strength he has to land on his belly so that Aegon won’t be crushed, and cradling him. Oh, my heart!

21. Was Sunfyre crying out for meemaw Vhagar as she was falling or am I insane???

22. Dad Criston was great. I cannot imagine the drama that lies ahead after this and how his relationship with Aemond and Aegon will be affected.

23. Alicent, girlie, you about to find a new thing to make you guilty and suicidal all over again! No worries, though, because you are STILL a million times more interesting than boring, righteous girlboss queen.

[new-tella-us]

Oh yeah. I keep forgetting to post this draft. So I made sketches of Mika’s parents. I kept David mainly the same but Laura got a lot of changes including becoming a lot more relevant and intimidating to specifically the boys. I should probably finally go over David and Laura’s story but I’ll be brief…ish. It’s mainly about Laura btw as David lives a generally average life.

David is the son of CEO and Warlock Harold Anderson. He too, once, was a warlock practicing demonic magic as his father did. It was basically a family tradition. He would stop the practice all together when Laura was pregnant with Mika for reasons more relevant to Laura’s entire overhaul. He is aware of demons, angels, devils and the like but his distance from his father’s magic makes him susceptible to magical influence.

Now…Laura. For the longest time I’ve been saying that Laura isn’t completely human. But I never specified what she was. She is a nephalim. Same as Saero. Only she’s half angel-half human. Her father is long gone but she does have two living family members, her mother and half brother. These two are only relevant in James’ route where if you were to get the bad end, it would be revealed that the brother managed to convince the angel of destiny to return Mika to her mother.

But what happened to her? How did she end up marrying a human? Long story short, she got curious about the human world and the origins of her father. She attempted to go to the human world only to accidentally end up in the Abyssal Plains. This takes place six years before Mika’s birth. Demons don’t take kindly to angels and especially not the Demon Lord. Next thing she knew, she was in a cell for a year. Over that year, she did attempt a few escapes that didn’t work. She would lose a wing and an eye (hence the hair covering said eye) as “consequence”. It was only when she started talking to one of the prisoners, a woman draped in a red cloak, that she found her way out. The prisoner offered her a means to escape that she was going to take herself, Laura graciously took it and ran off.

One of those “means” was a spell to summon a portal to the human world for real and so, she ended up on earth. She was battered, bruised and injured but escaped. And then she met David. And the rest is history. She didn’t tell David the full story until she felt like she had to so her unborn child wouldn’t be exposed to demonic magic or magic at all and make the same mistakes she made. David, out of both respect for his wife and a new hatred for the cruel demons that would hurt her, stopped using magic and demanded his father do the same or never speak to his child. It was one of the many wedges in their relationship.

So Mika is 25% angel and I’m not just using that as a “fun fact”. I added a piece of lore that says that angels can’t be enthralled. Laura is completely immune to enthrallment and Mika is resistant. This closes the plot hole I notice where those who were enthralled would not be aware that they were being enthralled but Mika was aware even if she couldn’t resist. This is the reason behind that. As for how this would change the housewarming party, from Mika’s perspective (aka Seduce Me 1) it wouldn’t change. In front of her daughter, Laura would pretend to be enthralled and not question the boys.

However, there could be a cutscene or episode that reveals a moment where Laura walks away from her family and towards one of the boys, the one she suspects is trying to control her. And who would that be other than Sam and Erik, the two that opened the door in the first place.

Oh yeah! Another lore thing. Angels and sense demon magic and link it to said demon. Demon magic has a sort of aura that can linger on people that demons have used their magic against. Aka, Laura can see that Sam and Erik did…something to her daughter and she’s not happy.

[stellarcobweb]

have i ever mentioned tht whenever i think of the web i just go "thats just my mom?"

(putting a break in here bc after typing everything out, its more of a ramble than i thought it would be)

like. specifically in my own weird as hell way. as well as like *insert my conpantheon and soft polytheism, certain aspects and presentations can be forms that make it easier to talk to and influence humanity*

for whatever reason i look at like. moon/primordial void/mother as being very very VERY Web . using Smirkes detailing of the Fears (which . i think its a lot more nebulous than that but whatever)

also its DEEPLY funny to me that like. my system name for the longest time and even now tbh was Maratus, with collective name Mara for short. Maratus is the peacock spider genus

as well as my Thing abt weaving fate together, getting into tatting lace and crochet, wanting to get even more into like. honest to god spinning and weaving and knot magic and stitch magic in my practice

AND ALSO. final nail in THAT coffin. someone did an energy reading on me once and straight up got fullblown spider demon vibes off of me? w the concept of "you can literally spin ur own web" as something they noticed. which is just. FASCINATING.

+ my energy being called sticky and/or web-like on multiple occasions

like. thinking of terms that i would consider myself w the Fears that ARENT the spiral (bc i am first and foremost an Avatar of the Spiral).

Child of the Web feels a lot better than any of the others? bc im not a Victim, Avatar, or even really necessarily Marked imo. its just like. thats who created me? thats who made me and who built me out of nothing? thats who legit created my soul? if nobody has my back, i know my Mama has my back! its a more personal relationship than anything else honestly. just like. wholeass that is my Mother and i am absolutely my Mother's Child. you *could* consider me marked from birth but idk that doesnt feel OR sound right

(also im a pretty doll :) i mean Doll and dollself are legit. identity at this point. both for coping reasons and xenic reasons. in both marionette AND bjd ways. im not human! and have never ever felt human!)

+ Marked by the Lonely . bc yeah former Victim WOOOOO my childhood was AWFUL!

ik theres an Eye association w me but i have no idea what it is. shrug. research is my hobby and i legit live for doing it. also it def feels nice to chew on info when im researching, very satisfying. no i dont think im an Avatar, and im definitely not a Victim. the Eye just straight up doesnt scare me. tbh i think theres *potential* for Avatarhood fr me at some point but if it happens it happens idrc either way. i just exist!

...honestly Victim of the Corruption would also apply to me but i take a very "if i dont see it it doesnt exist" approach to that and its not anything active in my life . fr the most part. so shrug

YKNOW. the Dark would be called my parent too. i dont think of that part of things as often as i do my Mom but like. Child of the Dark also fits here. i mean . "Born from dark water, daughter of the rain and snow" is something that i take fully as identity. (yes thats a line from Landscape by Florence and the Machine). also it connects to my former beliefs abt Leviathan = soul parent and what is he but associated with the abyss, water, and darkness

ngl its also funny looking at that from the concept of like. my eyes practically cannot handle any direct sunlight. it hurts them so bad ;;v;; like my eyes are ridiculously sensitive to light and i have insanely good night vision somehow. i know literally nobody else like that. also the concept of the Void is deeply comforting actually. vantablack :)

also unrelated slightly but A Fathers Love is my favorite episode out of literally all of the ones ive heard on TMA. like its just the best one ever

[themattress]

Unpopular(?) Opinion Re:Dragon Ball

The Android / Cell Saga is the best story arc in Dragon Ball Z, if not all of Dragon Ball.

Having been revisiting the series lately due to Akira Toriyama's shocking and untimely death, and comparing the story arcs of DBZ in their manga, original anime and Kai forms, I feel like despite the Saiyan / Vegeta and Namek / Freeza Sagas being far more iconic worldwide, it's the Android / Cell Saga that came out best in all incarnations. First off, there's the pacing:

Saiyan / Vegeta: 48 Chapters Namek / Freeza: 87 Chapters Android / Cell: 91 Chapters

Saiyan / Vegeta: 35 Episodes Namek / Freeza: 72 Episodes Android / Cell: 77 Episodes

Saiyan / Vegeta: 16 Episodes Namek / Freeza: 38 Episodes Android / Cell: 44 Episodes

In all versions, this is the longest arc, and yet it's paced much better than the previous two.

The Saiyan / Vegeta Saga spent 30 of its 48 manga chapters dealing with Nappa and Vegeta on Earth; Raditz lasted just 10 and then only 8 were spent in preparation for Nappa and Vegeta's arrival. The original anime gave Raditz 5 episodes, 16 episodes for preparation, and 14 episodes for the big battle. For the former, it felt like the middle portion ran far too short which caused the end to drag on, whereas in the latter it's the reverse: the middle lasted far longer than it needed to as several episodes were spent on filler bullshit like a bug planet, a second Oozaru transformation for Gohan, fighting phony Saiyans inside a simulation room, or a backstory for the Saiyans and the destruction of their planet that ends up at complete odds with actual canon. Only Kai got it down right, with the first half (Raditz + preparation) and the second half (Nappa and Vegeta) both lasting 8 episodes, making it the ideal version.

The Namek / Freeza Saga has 27 chapters at the beginning where everyone goes to Namek and hunts for the Dragon Balls, 22 chapters at the middle where the Ginyu Force is the focal point, and finally 38 chapters at the end where we get the battle with Freeza. So yeah, the end section dragged on longer than it probably needed to. The anime is much worse: 23 episodes beginning, 16 episodes middle, and 33 episodes end, with a fair amount in each section being pure filler such as Fake Namek, zany Bulma shenanigans, or diversion after diversion during Goku's fight with Freeza. Once again, Kai is the most preferable version, as it again combines the beginning and middle into a first half and the end into a second half, both lasting 19 episodes, dividing the arc into pre-Porunga and post-Porunga sections.

Then we have the Android / Cell Saga. 30 chapters at the beginning where Dr. Gero and his androids are the central threat, 30 chapters at the middle where Cell emerges as the true villain and goes through his transformations, and 31 chapters at the end centered around the Cell Games....and the last of those two can essentially be considered one elongated epilogue chapter starring Future Trunks, meaning it's more like 30/30/30. The original anime's equivalent is 23 episodes, 25 episodes, and 29 episodes respectively - it's almost perfect, with the only flaw being the end section needlessly being dragged out by two episodes more than is needed (one where Hercule and two anime-exclusive students of his hog the spotlight even when the ultimate outcome of their antics is obvious and one where Cell inexplicably spends the entire length charging up his final Kamehameha). Kai makes the pace perfect again, with 14 episodes at the beginning, 14 at the middle, and 16 at the end, with the last two being the wrap-up and epilogue respectively following the main action against Cell.

Beyond the pacing, there's the content. Not only does this arc hold some of the most interesting and influential ideas (the existence of alternate timelines, Dr. Gero's scientific genius, Vegeta's character development, Piccolo and Kami becoming one again, the depths of Gohan's power, etc.) and not only did Toriyama and his editors fluke their way into a remarkable degree of consistency despite nothing having been pre-planned, but almost every character gets something important to do. In the previous arcs, you could count the important heroes on one hand: Goku, Gohan, Krillin, Piccolo, and the helpful comic relief (Yajirobe in the former, Bulma in the latter). They and the villains carried the arcs while everyone else were either a plot device (hi, King Kai!), sidelined, or made into cannon fodder. But here, in addition to now also having Vegeta and Future Trunks among the heroes, you get important and useful roles for not just those aforementioned characters but also Tien, Yamcha, Roshi, Dr. Brief, Kami, Dende, and even newcomer Hercule (poor Chi Chi and Chiaotzu, though).

And while the villains collectively don't quite measure up to the Freeza Empire in iconic status, they are still superbly designed and characterized, making them highly memorable. Cell himself has got to be the standout, being as good if not better a foe than Freeza. Let's just put it this way: once Goku went Super Saiyan, Freeza was done for, and his destructive tantrum that blew up Namek ultimately claimed no victims. With Cell, it looks like things are going the same way once Gohan goes Super Saiyan 2, but then his destructive tantrum that risks blowing up Earth actually does come at the cost of Goku's life! And then, Cell comes back, now as powerful as Super Saiyan 2 Gohan as he insta-kills Trunks, curb-stomps Vegeta, and breaks Gohan's arm before preparing to blow up Earth again, this time at no cost to himself! This was hands-down the biggest "Oh my God; holy shit; Game Over, man; there's no way out of this" situation in all of Dragon Ball, making the ensuing Kamehameha beam struggle where Gohan is guided by Goku's spirit all the more epic and satisfying. The anime and Kai made it even better, allowing Piccolo, Krillin, Tien and Yamcha to keep on trying to help against Cell despite how futile it was, inspiring a despondent Vegeta to get back into the fray and providing his crucial assist blast. It takes all of the Z-Fighters to save the world.

So that's my take. This story arc is just....well, perfect.