#the feral bentley saga

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Sly: I can't pick that up.

Sly: No, really, I can't pick that up!

Sly: Are you dense? I can't pick that up!

Sly: Read my lips. I. Can't. Pick. That. Up!

Sly: I give up. [bursts into tears]

Bentley: Now you've done it! You've broken Sly's spirits with your stupid attempts to pick up that silly object.

Bentley: In fact, if I didn't find his pitiful sobbing so amusing, I'd come out there and rip your limbs off.

Sly: [sob]

Bentley: Just ignore them, Sly. Maybe they'll go away.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Bentley: After the twist, you'll feel a snap and the body goes ragdoll on you.

Sly: And that will knock him out... even more?

Bentley: That will kill him.

Sly: Do I have to?

Bentley: Alright, fine, crybaby. Tie him up and, I guess, gag him. But at the first sign of trouble I want you to at least break both his knees.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Bentley: I need a skull, and I need you to not ask any questions.

Dimitri: Only if you also do not ask any questions.

[Dimitri takes out 7 pristine skulls.]

Bentley:

Bentley: ...This one's fine.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Sly: You're- you're not gonna shoot him, are you, Bentley?

Bentley: Yeah, in the face, why?

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Murray: So, Bentley and I asked him for a fair day's pay, and he kinda got a little angry, so we kinda got a little angry...

Sly:

Sly: Did you kill him?

Bentley: What are we, animals?? No, we didn't kill him!

Sly: Oh, thank gods.

Murray: But we did kidnap his wife!

Sly: OHHH NO-

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Sly: Seriously, Bentley, how many people would you have killed if we'd asked you to?

Bentley: That's not important.

Sly: I disagree.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Bentley: Not to worry, I still have a few knives up my sleeves.

Panda King: ...Do you mean tricks?

Sly, tiredly: No he does not.

Bentley, pulling a knife from his sleeve: No I do not.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Sly: Is that a gun?! Bentley: It's not what it looks like! Sly: It looks like a gun! Bentley: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like, but in my defense, it doesn't have any bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore. Sly: ...ANYMORE?!

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Sly: I'm pretty sure the place is fireproof.

Bentley, bomb in hand: Yeah, but is it explosion-proof?

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Penelope: How do you do that? Act like nothing bothers you?

Bentley: Step one: bottle up emotions.

Penelope: ...Okay.

Bentley: Step two: molotov cocktail.

Sly, distantly: Bentley, no!

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Sly: Remember when we didn't solve all of our problems with murder?

Bentley: Stop romanticizing the past.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Murray: Don't break people's hearts, they only have one!

Bentley: Yeah, break their bones. They've got 206 of those.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Sly: What do you have?!

Bentley: A KNIFE!

Sly: NO!

Murray: Oh my god why does he have a knife??

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Bentley: Well, we could always do this the old-fashioned way.

Bentley: [pulls out a molotov cocktail]

Sly: ...whERE did you get that.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Bentley: Hand me the people opener.

Panda King: ...Pardon??

Bentley: The people opener! Just hand it to me!

Panda King: What the fuck is a people opener.

Bentley: How do you not know what a people opener is?? It's pointy- you know? With a handle?

Panda King: KNIFE. It's called a knife.

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Sly: Looks like we can't manipulate, mansplain, or malewife our way out of this one.

Bentley, grabbing his crossbow: Manslaughter it is.