#the fat shaming is exhausting tho

[ggswaywardgifrepository]

So Dual Destinies really liked to mock Norma for being a big girl. She’s gorgeous. And I’m 💯 certain she and Crab are at least fucking, post case. I just hope he finally got Sniper 🐧 out of his hair first, tho.

[stinkybuttwipes]

Dragon ball characters 🖤Spicy🖤 headcanons~

Piccolo

This man let me tell you-

You’ll only get a few grunts out of him, he’s more focused on what he’s doing honestly.

He will only moan when he’s about to cum but he isn’t very loud with it because he is really embarrassed (poor bb)

Piccolo isn’t very vocal in bed nor does he do dirty talk but he’ll slip out a few cute names for you every now and then when he’s going at it

Ehem- sweetie, Angel, Honey *explodes*

He prefers to be in the missionary position but sometimes he’ll let you ride him ;)

He’s also a Hermaphrodite

You’ll wonder where tf his pp at and he’s so flustered about it. Lets just say piccolo aint the only one eating out (you gotta work to get that cock)

Once you get his cock out wish your pussy good luck because this man is huge

(8-9 inches and FUCKING GIRTH?)

Sometimes when he’s so exhausted and pent up he’ll need a blowjob from you.

His fingers, HIS FINGERS.

They don’t reach as deep as his cock does but boy do they make you see stars.

His antennas are hella sensitive so if you play with them you’ll definitely hear a silent moan from him.

He is so good with aftercare though don’t worry he’ll always take good care of you.

Want a bath? He’s on it. Hungry? He’s on it. Cuddles? He’s already got you❤️

Broly

Baby boy I love him so much

He’s a moaner! He’s a whimperer! He’s a crier!

This guy is a sweetheart in bed don’t let his appearance fool you.

He’ll be so gentle with you as he moans into your neck.

VANILLA SEX VANILLA SEX VANILLA SEX

He prefers not to be to rough or hard because he’s so scared he’ll accidentally hurt you doing it:(

Although if you want him to be rough or go harder whisper it into his ear please he’ll whimper for you and obey you so fast-

He’ll put his face in your chest as he rams into you , be careful what you wish for cause he is going to lose it eventually 🫣

Broly will start moaning reaaaal loud once he feels he’s going to finish (your pussy is to good for him ya know)

Be prepared for him to accidentally overstimulate himself-

He’s gonna either go harder and rougher or super saiyan on you. Either way you ain’t waking tomorrow.

This bitch will growl when he loses control and let’s be honest..it’s hot

Broly is PACKING he’s carrying a 10 inch veiny af cock when he’s hardened so he’ll be hitting you in all the right places.

Such a sweetie when it comes to aftercare. Play with his hair he’ll fall asleep immediately but right after he puts himself near your chest so he can hear your heart. It comforts him to know you’re still with him 🥹.

Goku

He can’t even be serious in bed

He is definitely a dog In heat when he’s horny though.

And when he’s horny he won’t leave you alone-

This bitch will have the fucking audacity to moan in your ear and grind on your ass (IN PUBLIC SOMETIMES TOO)

If you touch the spot where his tail used to be he’ll tremble but overtime it does become sensitive and he’ll tell you to stop.

Is a sweetie though even if he’s rough in bed, he’ll leave marks on you going from your neck to your calves.

He loves cockwarming at night and keeping his seed in you making sure none spills as you have to listen to him snore (no sleep for you~)

HE DO GOT A BIG COCK THO

9 INCHES AND HELLA WIDTH

ITS A SAIYAN THING THEY ALL GOT FAT PECKERS.

He is so good at eating you out like, a MASTER at it’ll he’ll get you to squirt in a minute.

So good with his tongue too 🫣

Will steal your panties and use them to get off as he moans loud so you can hear (HES DOING IT ON PURPOSE)

Favorite position is 69

Loves his cock sucked but also loves to taste you it gets him going~

He got fat balls full of cum so he’ll keep you up all night and day!

His calloused hands are good for clit rubbing 😩

He has no shame in saying the most embarrassing shit ever

Example: Goku: “What’s for dinner?” You: “bro, stfu and fuck me you dumb shi”

He forgets aftercare but he ain’t gonna bail on you

He’s prob gonna just pass out, cock still in you and everything…..”I’m hungry”

Overall 7/10 in bed

[arb0k]

i finished Worm today! i enjoyed it very much! my overall conclusion is that if you have the time and want something to sink your teeth into it is absolutely worth it, just be aware that the beginning is a little rough. it picks up spectacularly i promise.

some thoughts in no particular order:

my favorite is Imp, followed by Dragon and Defiant (somehow???). also the lawyer and PR guy, i woud have happily listened to them talk forever. and Marquis, really wish Marquis got more screentime

i famously bounce off of stories that inflate the stakes too high, not really out of intentional dislike on my part, mostly because i tend to start thinking "well obviously they aren't actually going to explode the planet in chapter 15 of 20, what are we doing here". the only story like that that's really worked for me in the past is FFXIV- and on that front, Worm blows it out of the water. truly the best execution of slow boil reality-altering stakes i've ever witnessed. possibly because the lingering unease that none of this shit is sustainable is so present from book one. possibly because the slow reveal of [major worldbuilding mechanic] felt both interesting and really natural. possibly because it's just so fun to see what bullshit they're going to pull to actually pull it off

the beginning is easily the weakest part of the whole thing, which is super unfortunate. genuinely i felt a switch flip from "i'm working on reading this right now because i hear the payoff is good" to "holy shit i cannot put it down" and i don't think it's stockholm syndrome, i think he became a better writer over time

this is compounded by how much i do not care about the high-school bullying stuff. which is funny because i actually did enjoy when it came back later in the story, it's just the early parts i found exhausting. unclear if this is a skill issue on the author's part or if it was just more tolerable when it was broken up more

funny how this beast is so long and still manages to feel rushed at times. if i had to guess i'd say i was left wanting more mid- and late-game content (the timeskip is pretty egregious) and i'd happily trade a good chunk of the early-game for it, tho that might just be the quality thing again

i've read series of this length before and this feels the most cohesive out of all of them, like it's genuinely one story, just a long one. and the character work is excellent, which feels rare for mega-length series. definitely a treat

shame that half of the undersiders feel so much weaker than the others character-wise. also the memes were not joking, she has way better chemistry w Tattletale and Rachel than any of the men. lmao

definitely a couple of Racism Moments, mostly surrounding the cultures of other countries... (tho also goddamn Grue got shafted, felt like the weakest part of the ending to me, like he just wasn't sure what to do with him)

because it's overall so uninterested in romance i think Legend successfully qualifies as good gay rep. i don't have any particular point it just tickles me

i love how he writes stranger powers, and the brain damage bit. very satisfying, fantastic use of the first person

jesus fucking christ what is his issue with fat people. i don't think i've ever encountered a novel in my life that was so obsessed with detailing each character's exact bmi and how that reflects on them morally, and it's constant

[brags-and-bones]

1/5/25

New year years! although I am a couple days late. I have not updated in a while. I've kinda felt sick and exhausted. I think it was just my body getting used to it cause I'm feeling better. I was super happy to see that i was under 160 this morning. Not by a lot but i still am. I'm so happy i got my goal I was a little worried i wasn't going to. My next goal is to be 150 by my 18th birthday. I am really surprised it has worked this fast if i am being honest. On Wednesday it will be one month of me ding this. I have lost 12lbs so far. this is probably the smallest I've been since 8th or 9th grade. I am very motivated for the new year. My goal is to keep eating little and low calorie but increasing my exercising. I am going to be walking or again starting tomorrow when school starts up again. But i think it will also be such a good time killer. So I won't just be sitting at home obsessing over food all day. Like I have been for the past 2 weeks. I will be cramming for my calc. test too so I will be busy. I'm hoping that my weight loss will speed up again. I lowkey want to see L again tho. The girl who fat shamed me for drinking a green tea. I want to see if she actually lost any wait like she said she was. My guess is no. With no one to impress and show all her food to and brag about how healthy she is, I think she was eating regularly again. I want to see if other people can tell that I lost any weight. I feel like I have and i know i have on the scale but do I look it? It could just be body dysmorphia or some shit. I haven't been drinking my green tea for the past couple of days so i need to get back on the tomorrow. I think i will start drinking more water too. I miss the structure of school, I am a student at heart I'm afraid. It also makes it easy to starve.

[justcafewriter]

Hey, thank for the request and I'm sorry if I didn't really put the D scene as you only asked for them asking to do the D.

Hope you still enjoy this too ❤️

Ushijima, Bokuto ans Hinata Asking to Have Sex.

Warning: Suggestive words, not entirely NSFW but this is an invitation to have sex so yeah it's R+18.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

‌He's a gentle baby. He thinks about how you feel so much so, when it comes to wanting to have sex, I think Ushijima will do it so carefully and asking it like it was a sacred moment.

‌He ask it ever so carefully, that he will learn your mood. He will be all touchy, hands on your waist, lips near your shoulder before he lean to kiss your nape, he will learn how you react to it, whether you give him an okay to do more than that or if you want him to stop.

‌If you were okay then he'll ask for a kiss. Be it he ask you to kiss him or if he can kiss you.

‌"Honey, can I kiss you?" He will said when he learn that you didn't resist when he kiss the crook of your neck. You answered him by lean in close to his face, making Ushijima smiles before he kiss your soft lips ever so tenderly.

‌The kiss he shared was sweet at first. He will move his head to access your lips better, he will lick your lips before his tongue enter your mouth, tasting you and play with your tongue. His large hands were on your cheek before he move one of them the back of your head while the other one make its way to access your breast, fondling it gently.

‌Your head will feel light due to the lack of oxygen as the kiss getting hotter and needier. As you break the kiss from Ushijima, that boy will make his way to kiss your neck, leave a love mark down near the crook of it and God that feels fantastic.

‌Your moan probably will wake Ushijima from the trance he's getting into. He'll checking on you and ask if both of you can go any further.

‌"I will slap you if you stop here. Because look at this mess you make of me." You said to him while you took his hand to touch your pants, which was damp.

‌"Damn! I really want to fuck you for good." Yes, cursing Ushijima is hot. And he only do that if he really horny as fuck.

‌"Please..." You said those words and it's like a spell to him so by then, he will take off your clothes and down for a roleplay before he actually can make love you.

Bokuto Kotarou

‌This guy is blunt and straightforward.

‌He wants to have sex? Then he'll ask it right away and have no shame or filter for it.

‌"Baby let's have sex!" or "Shit, I'm so horny I want to fuck you now."

‌It doesn't mean he can't be soft, but he'll be like 99.9% frontal about it.

‌Like, one day both of you were at some formal party. You were wearing a blood red dress with a bareback style and Bokuto always put his hands in either your bare lower back or your waist to pull you closer to him.

‌Nothing's weird happen until suddenly after you talk to Shoyo, his acquaintance, Bokuto lower himself and put his face closer to yours.

‌He will sexily said, "I can't wait to go home soon so I can fuck you all night long you won't be able to walk tomorrow."

‌Damn him! His words feel so powerful and it makes you feel hot so suddenly. You tried put your thoughts away from the words which Bokuto just said and it seems work because you forgotten about it a little while after but damn you were wrong to do it.

‌Because once you reach home, Bokuto will pick you up in bridal style before he take you to the bedroom and laid you on the soft matress of your bed. "Like I said, I want to fuck you all night long." He said those words as he strip himself from the dress shirt he wearing. "So, will you say yes or will you say yes?" A naughty smirk flashed on his face as he took the pants he wear.

‌"Bo, it's not even a choice!" You reasoning but he didn't hear it, he make his way to slip in between your thighs.

‌"Do you really have a choice tho?" He said as he pointing to his long fat cock which proudly standing and you gulp at the view.

‌Accepting your defeat, you said, "You know me so well, Bo... now come and undress me."

‌And that's how you experience heaven once again with Bokuto's sex service.

Hinata Shoyo

This tangerine baby is unpredictable, I told you.

You thought he would feel all shy and awkward for asking sex right? Yes, I feel the same way too.

BUT

It didn't close the chance of him being straightforward and blunt about it.

He's Bokuto's pupil after all.

He could go from "Uhm.. So, baby... can we, you know. can we.. doing i-it?" to "I'm sorry but I can't hold back anymore, you're just so sexy and I really want to have sex with you. now."

There's no in between and you love both sides of him!

I mean, who's not?

And the more hyper he is, the more straightforward he can be.

Like that day after a tiring match outside of country, he will come home, all exhausting even though he was happy to once again having a chance to participate in a good match. He was only a bit sad because you couldn't watch him as you also need to go to work.

So after a week not meeting you, Hinata miss you so much and he already have plan to have cuddle season with you.

Once Hinata finally arrived at home, he will open the door in hurry and run inside the house to search for you so he can kiss and hugs you. He was entering the living room when he saw you who only wear his clothes which big enough for you, no pants, no he can't see any pants beneath the clothes. And wait, is it an erect nipples he see? Yes, you wear no bra at home and he knew that.

Cutie Hinata mode turn off. Sexy Hinata mode turn on.

You will notice Hinata's presence and run to him before you hug him and he took you inside his embrace. The softness feeling he get from you, your scent which filled his lungs, your soft breath near his neck. It's all enough to make him turn on and the way you press your body (breasts) into his body only make the tightness inside his pants become unbearable.

"Babe, as much as I'm glad to be able to hug you, I think my hard cock wants more than just an embrace." He said those words while he pull your waist to him so you could feel how hard he was down there.

And that's one of the bluntness way Hinata said to ask you for having sex with him.

[hoplesslylovin]

I love the crows so much I could talk about them all day. Every character is well developed and so utterly human, they were not written to be perfect but dumbass teens trynna get money and not die. It’s a perfect mix of seriousness and humor

Every relationship is 1000/10. Kaz andJesper relationship, with Kaz calling Jesper Jordie and Jesper asking who’s that and Kaz saying “ someone i didn’t wanna lose” skfjkjfhkh. Jesper willingness to do anything for kaz bc he has a crush(before wylan) and admires Kaz so much.

Matthias and Inej subtle bonding over religion and making righteousness decisions.

Nina and Inej having a beautiful relationship and with the best girl talks. The scene where Inej holds Nina’s face and says “I owe you a life debt” shows the beauty of friendship and will never be topped by any other line. Also most novels fail to have this bc “the main character can be not like other girls🙄”

Kaz helping Wylan overcome his insecurities and realize his dad ain’t shit and basically changing the will so Wylan can get all the money.

Jesper and Inej calling each other family and yet Inej still being able to forgive automatically but also holding Jesper accountable when he fucks up.The bonding in the scene where they talk about they love kaz and also admitting it’s exhausting trying to keep up with him

This is just friendships like most series that are under 3 books never really develop friendship and mostly focus on relationship or the plot and this queen Leigh wrote the perfect plot the perfect friendships and the perfect relationships in two books?!?! I love it

Now let’s talk about relationships Kaz and Inej being absolute perfection with Leigh recognizing their combined trauma and not just ignoring it so they can kiss is beautiful. Knej knowing her self worth and not sticking around for Kaz even though they both loves each other bc he’s not ready for a relationship and she has her own life is amazing.Kaz also realizing that he can’t give her what she deserve and instead of being a grumpy/petty/shitty person like most male leads when realizing the female lead deserves better,!buys inej a boat to travel around the world, finds her parents for her and basically promising to work on himself while she is gone achieving her dreams is truly iconic. Also Inej knowing that Kaz will always be a “monster” and saying that Ketterdam needs a monster to clean away its filth and that while i’m away at sea fighting slavers you will help me by destroying companies that imploy slavers.-like they both don’t try to change the other person ideas/ambition but work together

Next Nina and Matthias relationship is enemies to lovers done right. Firstly the story of how they met is a slighly cliche shipwreck meeting, but is it the best one i’ve ever read?? Yes it is!! Like the slow development of Matthias at first always comparing her to fjerden women to realizing that Nina may not be “a traditional fjerdan women” but what he needed to see his discriminatory ways. Nina also taking zero bullshit and not babying him but just straight calling him out when he says something wrong.Matthias finally realizing that he was brainwashed without Nina really taking him step by step and more like Nina explaining it to him once and letting him figure out himself. Matthias not accepting only Nina but all grisha yet still not giving up his religion and pride of his country to be with Nina but recognizing that it wasn’t perfect and needs a lot of improvements. Nina also not changing any part of herself and making him have her as she is or leave

Lastly wesper (Wylan and Jesper) which is just amazing. Leigh not making the main focus of the relationship being tht their gay but just focusing on the development and chemistry between them. They in the middle of a dangerous life threatening mission and Jesper says sum shit like “I wish it was this easy to get girls” and Wylan goes” just girls? “and Jesper is “like no not just girls” and that’s it. Jesper and Wylan have a soft friends to lovers with a lot of witty one liners. They both talk to each other about their insecurities like Wylan knowing when Jesper is filled with too much energy and helping calm down, they had their first kiss like this :) and Jesper telling Wylan that he isn’t stupid and it’s fine he can’t read bc he so talented in other ways.

Also the character development!! firstly Jesper being black(darkskin)and bi. While being a main character with flaws. Jesper is extremely loyal and funny yet he also fucks up bc he human and make mistakes. Jesper has a gambling addiction and his gambling addiction wasn’t tried to be justified with an excuse or a reason but realistically described as some thing he just can’t bring himself to stop. He’s written so well, we get to see him struggle with his self esteem and his restlessness, but we get to see him grow and realize that he can’t be stuck in what he did in the past but make sure he won’t do it again and finding a positive outlet instead of gambling. Jesper also hating and hiding that he is grisha bc his dad had drilled into him tht his powers were dangerous and bc his mother had died from using her powers too much.Yet by the end of book he still hides his power but learns to accept it and saying maybe in the future he will learn how to use it bc Wylan helped him realize that he shouldn’t hate anything about himself and learn to embrace it, but also did not push Jesper very hard and let Jesper figure it out himself

Nina being a tall plus sized powerful asf women and still being repeatedly described as beautiful and charming in the book.This may seem like a simple thing but most books just write plus sized people as the “token fat friend” and make the character whole personality be about their weight. Nina doesn’t care for her weight. she is bold and confident. She knows that she is gorgeous and strong and flaunts it. Nina loves her country and struggle with trying to do what’s best for it bc at the end of the day she will put ravka first. Also Nina’s struggle with jurda parem is written really well in a way that shows clearly how much she struggles with the addiction and the shame she feels on how she acted yet how she can’t help herself. After she finally got over jurda parem withdrawals she has new powers that leave her feeling lost bc this wasn’t who she was before yet with Matthias help and her own sheer stubbornness she gets the hang of her powers and accepts that it still very miraculous evn if it connected to death

Inej is honestly a amazing character. She has very strong moral views and struggles with religion esp with the idea that she doesn’t know if she will be forgiven for all the lives she took as the wraith, yet she doesn’t regret what she’s done bc it allowed her to be free.Inej after getting free from Tante Heleen would rather die and then ever be hold in a cage again. We see this when she almost stabs herself in the heart after being cornered. Also we learn that after being freed she could barely even touch other people or even walk in front of Tante Heleen building to see her growing and overcoming her trauma in a realistic way that it’s still there but she doesn’t allow it to control her life. She voluntarily wears Tante Heleen silks again for a mission and stole her necklace which symbolizes her stealing her life back in a way. She finds a purpose for her life in the idea of freeing slaves after this mission instead of just waiting for Kaz. I could talk about Inej all day tbh

Honestly where should i begin with Kaz. Kaz is not a righteous man, he’s ruthless,and would do anything for money but keeps his promises yet Kaz sees himself as a villain and doesn’t see the good even if Inej tells him how he helps others in subtle ways. In the beginning Kaz is painted as a evil genius which he is but and then we learn that he was a happy and cheerful child till Jordie died, leaving him with severe trauma and unable to hand skin contact. Kaz also broke his leg in some robbery when he was younger and it never healed correctly yet it was never a problem for him, even tho he is disabled and with a cane everyone is scared of him. Anyway throughout the books Kaz goes from unable to even touch another persons hand and fainting in the wagon to slightly overcoming this with Inej. Kaz wants to be better for Inej and himself bc Inej says she will have him without armor or not at all and Kaz wants to be that person. While by the end of crooked kingdom he can only hold Inej’s hand and he still shook a little, We can still see how much he is trying to overcome his fear. I also love how Leigh did not write that Kaz overcame years and years of trauma for a girl within a few weeks but ends with him doing a only little better but still having a long way to go.

Wylsn being the genius nerd of the group and also having dyslexia. Wylan starts off as a shy runaway whose shitty dad severely impacted their self esteem, and grows to be very confident person who sees that nothing is wrong with being unable to read bc he can still do anything he wants.Wylan kept his dyslexia as his biggest secret bc he is taught that he is useless and worthless bc he can’t read, yet through subtle and amazing advice from Kaz about how you can’t let things hold you back, Jesper’s support and mainly seeing all the things he can do without the need for reading-Wylan slowly realizes his self worth. To the point where he can tell a few people that he can’t read. This causes Wylan to help Jesper with accepting his powers bc Wylan sees the how similarities between how Jesper acts about his power and how he use to act about his dyslexia.

Matthias had the biggest character arc. He went from wanting to kill all grisha to accepting Nina’s very unique death powers before she herself did. Matthias struggles with realizing his old mentors were wrong throughout book 1. The rest of the crew do not waste time explaining or trying to change his beliefs but instead only correcting his words when he says offensive things. Inej also subtly tells him to get his shit together, at first he believes how could everything he ever learn is a lie but after seeing the outcomes of his actions/ druskelle actions. Matthias realizes that it was all lie and finds reasoning and understanding through his experiences with the crows. He after a long process begins to thinks grisha powers are a miracle. Yet even as he slowly see his wrong ways- His first thought for a long time when seeing grisha powers was unnatural in his manipulative father figure Brum’s voice. After a little while he began to correct the voice in his head with own.Matthias finally reached a point where his first thought was miraculous. Leigh wrote this really well bc it shows a person cannot change a mindset drilled into him within a day but takes a process. Throughout all of this he still feels a strong sense of pride in his county but also seeing that his home has many faults and needs improvement and guidance.

i wrote this midnight y’all pls ignore shitty grammar and mistakes

[ratchetaginger]

This game fulfills all of my Aloy desires(or at least until Horizon Forbidden West releases). But honestly if you need a peaceful chill game that’s beautiful and scenic and magical and also you get ALOY! Genshin Impact is for you! The music: incredible. The lore: deeper than you’d expect for a free game. Access: pretty convenient because it can be played on mobile, PC, and Playstation. I play on my IPad Pro and runs smooth af. I use an off brand ps4 controller because I like controllers. Another draw for a lot of ppl is the hot characters 😅 I’m ace/demisexual but damn even I’m in love with these characters so much already. I simp for Lisa💜🥵

OH WAIT I DIDNT RAVE ABOUT HER CHARACTER DESIGN EEEEEEEEEEEEEK IM IN LOVE WITH IT SO MUCH

I’m sure some wanted them to go full waifu Aloy but I’m so grateful they didn’t. I find her original HZD looks to be so perfectly fitting and practical with her characterization. I appreciate that her Genshin look is fully recognizable as Aloy. I’d personally be very uncomfortable with an overly sexy look for her. I love Aloy because she feels amazingly beautiful and powerful just as she is. That is empowering for myself. Please don’t misinterpret me tho I love the other character’s outfits as well because they work for those characters. They were designed with that intention and I find it empowering as well tbh. After the exhausting comments on Aloy’s looks due to the gameplay footage in FW I would be very disturbed seeing her made out to be something she isn’t. It was actually painful for me seeing Aloy be ridiculed for her appearance. I’m a red headed woman who looks a lot like Aloy but I am not nearly as physically fit as her. So to specifically see the body shaming and fat phobia…well that hurt. I’d like to think that incident specifically influenced her design in Genshin but who really knows?🤷‍♀️

They seamlessly translated her in this world. She doesn’t feel awkward and out of place. I mentioned the lore in this world is deep and they did not skimp out on Aloy. They included her story and many very precious details that just make her addition even more charming🥰. She is a cryo character which means she utilizes freeze attacks. She has a bow and arrow(no spear🥲) and a freeze bomb she throws. Then she has an ultimate attack which is essentially a power cell that she throws in the air and shoots it then it blasts magical freeze damage in a glorious haze around her. There is a full anime attack animation oh my goodness it’s perfect!!!! Also a nice reference to her new charged spear attack in Forbidden West👀. She is also OVER POWERED AF WHICH I LOVE ! All characters have a rating and Aloy is a 5 star(which is the best). You still level her up of course but she is incredibly useful right from the moment you get her. Most of my characters are at a level 40 or higher but my Aloy is stuck at 20 until I can open up the map some more😤 BUT she still works on high level bosses in combo with other characters. On her own against a regular enemy she can still work well. I keep leveling up my characters tho and raising my world level tho so in comparison she is getting weaker 🥲🥲🥲 but I’m grinding 😅. I like to main her so I want to level her up as much as possible lol. Currently you need to be Adventure rank 20(which is piss easy to attain) on October 15th tho(??)she will be accessible on a computer but until then you must connect your account to the PlayStation network. If you already have an account and it’s not connected to the PS please be careful while connecting your account because it can be tedious and you can mess it up. Look up an article and read it carefully! Lastly, the person who does her voice acting is incredible. She has a voice similar enough to Ashley Burch that it isn’t unnerving but it also really fits in the Genshin world. All her voice lines ring true to her character and I love hearing them. They even mention Rost in her bio . my dudes 😭😭😭😭 they had me near tears. So like um play this game cuz Aloy in every iteration must be loved. Ugh also fantasy Aloy is amazing💙💙💙

[rnegitsune]

Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.

[thinkinghq]

THE WHOLE ASS NSFW ALPHABET FOR KOGANEGAWA KANJI YESS SIR<3

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

♡EXHAUSTED

♡ usually falls in the positions he is in and lays there a bit catching his breath

♡after a few minutes he gets up and get babywipes cleans up and cuddles with you If you wanna talk about something he talk with you till you guys fall asleep (he didnt know that in the begging tho so he taught ur supposed too fall asleep after sex so when u tell him if you could get something to wipe he stands up and runs but naked around the house Idk why he panicked)

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

♡he loves everything about you

♡but he has a body part that he especially likes it changes(its the body part you make him cum tge most at the moment breast, tights ...)

♡if you tell him you love his dick his favorite body part is his dick if you tell him you love his hands his favorite body part is hands

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

♡thicccccc he cums a lot

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

♡When he had a crush on you he always imagined having sex with you. He felt shameful afterwards tho and couldn't look in your eyes the next day.

♡One of his first sexual encounters where when he was surfing in the internet on the family computer secretly late night and saw pop up porn and made him feel some way. He was terrified for weeks.

♡Once walked in middle school into the girls changing room and saw a girl only with  underwear he was shook and couldn't move what lead many girl to believe he was a pervert. Girls didn't talk to him at all since then.

♡ jerks of with your panties

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

♡ zero he just a too nervous virgin who is too excited to talk to people

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

♡ loves everything where he can see your breast shake

♡ positions where you in control

♡or where he just can jackhammers into you

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

♡giggles when he hears a queef "👀okaaayy farty"  "😐"

♡or says oh wopsi when he slips out of you

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

♡ he thinks it look weird whiteout Hair but at the same time hates it when the hair is to long so he keeps it trimmed

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

♡ for some nights it's all giggle and fun for him on others when he or you is emotional he tells you how much he loves you and needs you 100 times

J = Jack Off (Masturba)tion headcanon)

♡ everyday multiple times

♡after school, when he showers, before he falls asleep and on the weekend he cant say no to a morning wood

♡he usually hasn't a porn preference (yes he jerks to everything) but has a weakness for amateur porn with a cute female in it

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

♡ Anal, face sitting, mutual masturbation, facials and edging

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

♡ in bed (pls don't try to fuck him in the shower he slips always around like a shampoo bottle)

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

♡ if you look him into his eyes too long he gets hard but he loves thighs so if you want him wear a skirt <3

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

♡when ur not sure about sex then he won't touch you he could never do it If ur not 100% sure so you need to tell him that 100% confidently you want sex

♡honestly everything that's "dark" for him like knife play, choking (the only chocking he does is hold ur neck and add no pressure to it but he likes it with a little pressure on him) and tortured

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

♡honestly the first time he goes down on you he licked it like a dog (I hc him with a big tongue ok💀)

Like super messy licks on ur entire pussy. But he actually waits for you to tell him what he should do so if you tell him to suck on ur clit a little he does on command he likes it if you tell him what to do till he knows you like a open book and uses ur weak spots to make u cum as fast as he can.

♡CEO of buckling his hips into ur throat on accident cant help himself honestly. He comes pretty fast with oral if you look into his eyes and he is so messy with it pulls out midway when he cums and has half of it in ur mouth half of it on ur face. HEEEEE LOVVEESS a messy blowjob drool teary eyes and moans the moans are the most important part for him cause the vibrations feel good to him

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

♡ in the begging always super slow so you adjust to him in the middle he has a middle fast pace but his hips buckle a lot and ruin the pace and before he cums he goes faster it doesn't  matter what position he is he hold ur hips and fucks you fast his hips dont buck when he is fast also he only slows down if you tell him to.(king of respecting boundaries)

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

♡ he is down when ever you want to he could fuck you 20 times a day even if his dick feels like it's about to fall of he still fucks you <3

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

♡he actually forgets to put a condom on a lot if you dont tell him he notice it 2 minutes in to sex and ask himself "hmmmmm why does it feel so good" and than he panics and is scared you might and up pregnant but then he is like "actually I want to have a family with y/n fuck it I drop out of school and take care of her and our kid" "😐 pls stop dreaming so much and put on a condom now"

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

♡ he can keep fucking u after he cums he just cums again ...(loves being overstimulated)

♡ max. 2 times in one go but if you give a break in between probably 4 times ...

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

♡ TOYS DRIVE HIM CRAZY

♡ he loves vibrator on you drive him crazy how fast you cum when you use one in ur clit while he fucks you

♡ PLS PEG HIM HNGGGGG <3 HE IS A HIMBO WHO WANTS TO GET PEGGED

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he doesn't tease at all but if you tease him or edge him.... he end up being s whimpering mess

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

♡he lowkey load says how good it feels and his moans ughhhhhhh<3

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

♡put a leash on him and train him <3

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

♡ About 17cm

♡ he has the most girth in the middle

♡ has lot of veins on the underside

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

♡ Pretty high but waits till you invent things he just doesn't wanna seen as a horny monster by you

♡ When he first discovered masturbating he did it every day always after school that's the reason of his sex drive

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

♡He wraps his long arms around you and falls super fast asleep ... sometimes inside you still

[crazycuddle]

just me being a whiny lill selfabsorbed shit once again honestly tho, no shame in just blocking me or something, this blog’s gonna turn into a depression fest for the next whoever knows how long this time

That fun feel when your dumbhurttraumatisedfuckedupdepressedselfdestructivesuicidalhotfuckinggarbage-shitbrain is driving you absolutely mad and being so incredibly loud and invasive that you wouldn’t be able to distract yourself from it if you tried. And you’re so tired, dead exhausted from fighting the 50+ dumbstupid impulses running through your mind 100mph, that really the only thing you can manage is to just sit there and do nothing and you’re hoping that maybe if you just let it, it’ll maybe run out of stamina at some point. But it doesn’t. In fact it seems to just go harder and faster and worse. And godfuckingdammit do you want to tell someone, tell them how fucking bad things are. But you don’t want to have anything to do with anyone anymore. You don’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone, interact with anyone, exist to anyone. Stay the fuck away from everyone. Have everyone stay the fuck away from you. Because through all the bullshit all the noise, clearest, most persistent thought running through your head is a big fat loud “GET OUT. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. FUCKING RUN” But HAH jokes on you that’s not a fucking option. Doesn’t that fucking suck.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck

So you end up posting dumb indirect pathetic attention seeking bullshit on tumblr to satisfy that cry for, idk what attention probably, without having to actually reach out like the weakling you are.

[fonix-girl]

I got told this sort of thing all the time as a teenager. At 15, I could eat so much! I delighted in the amount of food I could eat! I was able to easily out eat my then 11 and 12 yo brothers combined! My metabolism was super high, so I didn’t gain much weight (I was usually worried about losing it more than gaining it, and even that wasn’t a huge concern atm) even tho I wasn’t super physically active.

I got told the above things constantly. “You eat so fast!” I have three brothers if you don’t eat fast you won’t get second’s. “Woah you can really eat!” Well, IM HUNGRY. “You eat a lot for a girl!” I’m a teenager leave me alone. I’m supposed to eat. “That’s a lot of food!” Again, I BE HUNGRY. SO I EAT.

Along with things like “if you keep eating so much you’ll get fat!” Yeah it’s called metabolism.

So Let me tell you this cool thing about APPETITE. Barring eating disorders and medical conditions, APPETITE REGULATES ITSELF.

So if you’re hungry; eat! If you’re not hungry, make sure you’re getting one or two solid meals in a day. (And again, it depends on the situation and individual health factors!)

When my metabolism slowed around 18, my appetite dramatically decreased and I eat maybe 25% of what I did when I was 15 (much to my daily lamenting—I MISS the days when I could physically eat that much because food is fabulous!).

So don’t stop teen girls from eating! Screw body image standards, THOSE are what are really unhealthy! Because news flash!

TEEN GIRLS ARE GROWING JUST LIKE TEEN BOYS. PUBERTY IS EXHAUSTING AND BURNS UP SO MUCH ENERGY. DONT SHAME THEM FOR LETTING THEMSELVES EAT WHEN THEYRE HUNGRY, AND EAT UNTIL THEYRE FULL.

Something I don’t know how to put into words

[nerdymedzebra]

Gait Lab!

Today I did the Gait Lab with my PT! Turns out, my left leg is pretty solid when I step, with my knee lined up correctly with my glute, but my right leg.. My hip swings out more (I sashay naturally, which is not good), and my knee is WAY in, knocking against my other knee, not under my butt at all, and my knee turns inwards instead of staying straight (this pic doesn't show the left step, it's just a pic of a video). My PT said she would have guessed all this since my right hip is so weak (and I kick myself when I walk) but it's still good/helpful/neat to see!

We've been working on hip/pelvic strengthening exercises, which do help, but it seriously takes concentration to maintain the proper muscle activation when I'm walking, which makes walking mentally exhausting on top of physically exhausting. (I don't do my exercises at home like I should tho, I forget every day  that's why it's so helpful to come in and do them here!) My PT says for most patients she'd just tell them to strengthen, but bc of #EDS I need extra supports, so she's going to figure out some orthotics for me.

Many EDSers have custom orthotics, but I don't think they do that here, bc she was telling me brands to get, but when I told her I can't afford orthotics out of pocket she said she'll help me figure something out. And we'll keep working on this weak-ass right-ass/pelvic region to keep gaining strength! Which will then help my right knee and ankle, too.

Also, kudos to me for being able to see and POST these pictures of my butt without freaking while I'm fat (no shame in that word!) As someone recovered from an eating disorder when I was younger, this is truly a notable thing for me. 👍

[fatphobiabusters]

my mom was really obsessed with dieting when I was younger.She always made us do sports bc she thinks we're going to die of diabetes.When me and my siblings were younger she talked abt how she doesn't want us fat, but last year she went all out.She'd go in cycles of diet regulation to buying sweets days later.She yelled at me abt my stretch marks,which I got when yknow hormones and places start growing,she still makes us exercise.I thought I was fat.None of us are fat tho, is she a fatphobe?

Your mom is definitely fatphobic, and in my opinion, borderline abusive.

My mom is the exact same way, except she thinks anything with preservatives is evil and bad. So she goes to the fancy prissy white people grocery stores to buy their precious “organic” crap.

She’s extremely controlling with what foods are allowed in the house, especially towards me. No snack foods or “unhealthy” food allowed. Which for me means no immediately accessible food when I have no spoons.

She says no unhealthy food allowed, but lets my sister leave ice cream and cookies in the freezer. My sister is thin like my dad and I am fat.

My mom is also unhealthily obsessed with exercise and constantly shames me for being exhausted or not wanting to go exercise.

It’s extremely hard to deal with, but I recommend maybe talking to your mom and telling her how you feel.

It unfortunately didn’t work for me, as my mom doesn’t care what I think, but hopefully yours will.

Best of luck!

-Mod Egg

[fataziraphale]

Viktor Week Day 1: Food

For @viktorweek! Set after the Barcelona GPF! Viktor and Yuuri move to Saint Petersburg and pay Yakov a visit! Yay!

TW for fat shaming, talk of dieting and weight loss, and of characters dealing with weight issues. Everyone ends up fat and happy in the end tho bc... come on, I wrote this. Me. Look at my url.

Anyway, Viktor + food is maybe the most important thing in my whole life and I hope you all enjoy him as much as I do

“Oh my god.”

Yakov Feltsman let out a huff of air that Yuuri recognized well: it was the long-suffering sigh a man would inevitably release after spending more than five minutes with Viktor Nikiforov. Yuuri would know. He’d spent the last nine months living with the guy, and had exhaled that sigh approximately ten quintillion times.

But he’d never sighed at Viktor for the reason Yakov was now. Yakov’s eyes weren’t locked on Viktor’s face, incredulously reflecting on some inane, nonsensical, or vaguely culturally insensitive comment Viktor had just made. No, Yakov was sighing at a very different part of Viktor entirely: namely, the chubby pot belly that had settled comfortably around the skater’s middle, one that most certainly had not been there nine months before.

Yuuri bit his lip. He didn’t want Viktor to get self-conscious. Not about this.

Yakov, apparently, had no such reservations. “Oh my fucking god,” he said. “Vitya, you’ve gotten fat.”

No matter how well Viktor tried to mask it behind heart-shaped smiles, Yuuri knew his fiancé could get pretty anxious about his weight. It was only understandable, after all—Yuuri knew better than anyone just how much pressure was placed on figure skaters to be willowy and lean, rather than his own natural body type of squishy plush rotund. But slowly, over the past few months in Japan, Viktor had learned how to drop the masks he always wore in favor of letting his true self out, of speaking honestly and smiling earnestly and being comfortable in his own, newly pudgy skin. Yuuri didn’t want Yakov to ruin all that.

But Viktor just looked his coach in the eye and smiled. “What can I say? Japanese food is super yummy! Have you ever had katsudon? You need to try it! Yuri’s dad makes the most delicious pork, oh my god, my mouth is watering just thinking about��”

“I’ve had katsudon,” said Yakov curtly. “Yuratchka made it for me and Lilia after Rostelecom. But Jesus, Vitya, it’s not that good.”

“That’s because you haven’t had the katsudon at Yutopia yet~” Viktor grinned. “Just wait until you try it! You’ll be singing a different tune, or I haven’t won five world championship gold medals and five GPF gold medals and an Olympic—”

“I’m familiar with the fact that you’re a decorated athlete, Vitya. Stop bragging! Do you want to come in, or do I have to drag you by your ridiculous hair?!”

Viktor twirled into Yakov’s house as if he were doing a skating spin, graceful and controlled. Yuuri awkwardly sidled in through the door after him.

Yakov closed his front door and followed Viktor into, predictably, the kitchen. Viktor’s head had disappeared completely into one of Yakov’s cabinets. If Viktor were a dog (Yuuri hadn’t entirely ruled out the possibility that he was), his tail would have been wagging, hard.

“Ooooooh! You have Alenka! Mmm… chocolate sounds good right about now…”

Yakov stood behind him, arms crossed. “So when are you planning to lose it?”

“Huh?” Viktor emerged from the cabinet, ripping open a chocolate bar. He took a casual bite. “My haircut? I can grow it out if you want… I wouldn’t mind having long hair again, actually. If you meant when am I going to lose it, as in start balding, I might have to run up to the room you’ve prepared for me and start sulking for—”

“The weight. The extra fifty pounds.”

“Sixty-four!”

“Yeah. When are you going to lose it so you can skate.”

Viktor nibbled on chocolate. Yuuri’s heart beat a little bit faster. “Yuuri is a fat figure skater.”

To his intense discomfort, Yakov’s eyes strayed to Yuuri’s belly then, as round and soft as the first day Viktor had arrived at Yutopia (oh, all right—if he was being honest with himself, it was even rounder and softer). “I can see that. I do have eyes. But Yuuri is not my athlete, so I don’t get a say in what he does or doesn’t do with his body.” He looked back at Viktor, who was already ripping open his second bar of chocolate. “But you’re my athlete, Vitya. And I don’t coach fat figure skaters.”

For a moment, the only sound in the room was Viktor’s attempt to open the bar of chocolate. It was taking him a lot more time than the first one had. In fact, it took so long that he got pretty frustrated, struggling and scrabbling desperately at the packaging. Tears prickled in his eyes. He threw the chocolate down onto the counter unopened. Then he ran.

“Viktor!” Yuuri cried. Part of him wanted to go after his fiancé, to comfort him, to assure him he was loved—but another, more foreign fragment of Yuuri took control instead, one that was fiery and volatile. “HEY!”

Yakov looked a little startled. “Da?”

“How dare you say that kind of thing to Viktor? There’s nothing wrong with being fat, or skating fat, or Viktor’s weight at all! So he likes Japanese food! I’m glad he’s been eating a lot of it! I’m glad he’s been doing something that makes him really happy for once in his life!”

To Yuuri’s immense surprise, Yakov snorted at that. “It’s not just Japanese food. Didn’t you see the fucking beeline he made for my chocolate? Vitya’s been a food addict since the day he was born. It doesn’t matter if it’s katsudon or beef stroganoff.”

Yuuri blinked. “Really? But… he was so thin when I met him.”

“Because I’m a damn good coach!! Do you know how difficult it was to keep him from stuffing his face with every single piece of food he came in contact with? Do you know how many different diet plans I had to write up—how many times I had to increase his exercise regimen just to keep up with all the crap he was eating—how many times I had to literally grab food out of his fucking hands?!!”

“So…” Gears began to turn in Yuuri’s head, one at a time. “So that’s why he went crazy with katsudon. Because it was the first time in his life no one had been around to tell him not to.”

“I’ll say. And from the looks of you, you could use a real coach to tell you what not to eat as well.”

Under any other circumstances, Yuuri would have been mortified, and would have quietly crawled into a hole to live out the rest of his fat life in solitude and never bother anyone again. Now that Viktor’s happiness was at stake, all he felt was a burning, righteous frustration. “Viktor is a real coach, Yakov. He’s the best coach I’ve ever had! Sure, he—has no idea how to coach figure skating. Like, at all. But he showed me that I can be a skater without starving myself to get there! He’s given me so much confidence to be happy and myself, and I don’t see why you can’t do the same for him!”

Yakov considered this. “His weight is going to go up further. You realize this.”

“I don’t care if he gains another 300 pounds. Food makes him happy. I’m not taking that away from him.”

Yakov opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a soft and pudgy form padding its way idly back into the kitchen. Viktor’s arms were taken up by an enormous tin of cookies, one of them peeking out from between his lips as he munched. “Found this in the medicine cabinet. Your hiding places are too easy.”

Yakov took a deep breath. “Don’t eat too many, Vitya. You’ll spoil your dinner.”

“Mm? Dinner?” Vitya lifted his knee to balance the tin on it, performing a shaky juggling act in order to whip off the lid and select another cookie. “What’s for dinner? Are you cooking something healthy and un-yummy to teach me the proper value of nutrition?” He worked hard to keep his voice level, but then, Viktor had never been a very good actor. It trembled almost as much as his raised knee did.

“I’m treating you to stroganoff at that place you like,” said Yakov. “Eat as much as you want—I’ll even pay for vodka—but for God’s sake keep your clothes on. I heard what happened at the Cup of China. If you embarrass me in in my own city, I swear to God you’ll never walk a—”

“As much as I want?” Victor’s voice cracked. The tin of cookies crashed to the floor. “I… don’t have to lose weight to skate for you?”

Yakov sighed that long-suffering sigh. “No. I want you to be happy, Vitya. I was hoping that light eyes I’ve seen recently was coming from you being engaged to Katsuki, and not from your own ridiculous gluttony, but… well, we can’t all have everything we want.”

Viktor just stared at him. And then his eyes filled with tears. And then he threw himself at Yakov, encasing his coach in the biggest hug Yuuri had ever seen (other than the ones Viktor usually gave him). “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU”

“Food addict,” grumbled Yakov, stiffly hugging him back.

Viktor just laughed, relief shining in every inch of his features. “Says you! You’ve been an alcoholic for eighty years!”

“I’m not an alcoholic. I’m Russian.”

“You drink enough vodka to kill a horse! Or a really, really fat guy!”

“And I CAN’T have been an alcoholic for eighty years, I WAS ONLY FUCKING BORN IN NINETEEN FOURTY-FIVE YOU PIECE OF ABSOLUTE SHIT”

Viktor was laughing. Yuuri smiled at him, and Viktor beamed back, even as he bent deftly towards the floor to pick up one of the cookies there. Holding a chubby finger to his lips, he popped the cookie into his mouth.

For his part, all this human interaction had left Yuuri exhausted. He was just looking forward to tonight, when he could snuggle up to Viktor, rest his head gently on his fiancé’s fat tummy, and dream of katsudon in peace.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

7. I definitely am not trying to say that smaller people should feel bad about their body, now. Absolutely not. But to realize that you're not that much different than a bigger person, they just have more meat. So next time you look at someone and think gross, maybe that person is educated enough to look at you and think gross.

8. But beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. I see many doctors and one says that fat is so beautiful she refuses to prescribe diet aids. She's small. She exercises. My other doctor is different. She gets mad because she works hard to get her body every morning works out for 2 hours. Yet she cries when she tries to avoid saying I'm fat and I tell her "it's okay. I am. I can't hide it. I am fat" she cries for me because I'm in pain and I have to accept who I am. Both beautiful doctors inside and out. They both happen to be small. My daughter's kindergarten teacher was... big. Very big. As big as me, possibly bigger. I think she was/iad absolutely beautiful. She lost a lot of weight, I barely recognized her in walmart. She got prettier. I didn't believe it. At first I was all "oh no! You got skinny!" :( :( but she was happy. So I was happy. I saw her fat as a cushion of love, a soft hug. So that you know you know she would never hurt you. That's how I saw her. So. Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

9. I look at myself in the mirror and I think "oh my god, what did I do?!?! It will never again be good enough." I'm not ashamed but more shocked and honestly depressed. So I've been focusing on making myself laugh at my body. I have to accept it. I have no choice. But how do I help others accept it? Humor seems to work best for me. It takes out the negativity and puts in something that makes us all feel better. Even if they still think gross, at least they're laughing with me and not just behind my back. Even tho they do. It's okay. I can accept that, too.

10. Other people don't want my humor. They want me for who I am and think my body is beautiful and interesting how my body changed. They love the science. That gives me peace. Calmness. Happiness.

11. It used to scare me. Because psychology are they believing that they can manipulate me to believe they love me so they can abuse me and tell me that I'm so gross no one would or could ever love me and that I'm lucky to have their abuse? Or are they honest? And not thinking I could ever tell was terrifying for me. Or just getting sucked up into the snowball even just for a little while ... that thought exhausted me. I don't want to go through that. I don't want anyone to go through that.

12. Yes I still try to hide my body in dresses and skirts. Not for shame. Not to catch a stud and catfish him. But because i did wear that style when is was smaller. And i like it. It's super comfortable and relaxing. I feel it fits my personality. And I know, I can see my own reflection, even dresses and skirts cannot hide my body's flaws. Sure some won't notice but others will. I do. And it's okay. Because it's real.

In my adult, non-amnesia life I have only dieted and exercised purposely in time. And I spent alot of time talking to God and researching the body. Not diets nut the actual human body. 1. I was in a human anatomy class at the University of New Mexico and the lab included a cadaver that we sliced and diced. They were old people the male had had a knee replacement the other didn’t so we compared the two. The me was bigger than the female but the female bad quite a bit more fat than the male due to not exercising due to her pain. In the photo refer to the upside down Christmas tree and you easily see what human fat looks like. I’ve also seen it on raw chicken breast. It’s the same thing. Fat. 2. Refer to the picture of the beef steak. The beef is marbleized with fat. The red is muscle the white is fat. So you can look at the cow and feel firmness to indicate muscle however the cow is physically out of shape. It’s not out running or doing pushups. It’s not about its food intake. It’s about the physical actions the cow is or isn’t doing. If it was herded more often, once or twice a day, ran, then it would be less marbleized and have more red muscle. 3. The man running. Cardiologist is great. But building muscle is best. When I was trying to get smaller, I looked at other girls… thinking I would never be able to have a body that small again. But I saw a photo of a girl in a bikini sitting down. And I saw her thigh wasn’t all muscle but mostly fat. Just like the old lady cadaver. And I felt better. Although I was quite sure I would never be small again, I’m quite sure that if I tried to muscle up, I could have that same layer of fat that girl had and be bigger but still she would be as fat as me Although I would be much larger. Two to 3 times her size. Looking fat because of the outer layer. 4. Because when you build muscle it starts at the Marbliezing. Not the outside layer. Inside. So no matter how much i worked, inside would be all red meat but outside chicken fat. 5. So I felt mentally strong. 6. Cuz I kept wondering how I could be proud of myself for working so hard and loyal to build muscle and still look fat. How could I be proud? I wasn’t happy with my body