fataziraphale

[fataziraphale]

Now is absolutely the time to support queer authors, queer-friendly libraries, and queer bookstores. There is a lot of damage being done to these communities right now, and I truly believe community is the antidote. Find an author to uplift, request a queer book from your local library, and if you can, try and buy a queer book from an indie store. It makes a bigger difference than you might think.

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My memory of The Birdcage (1996) is always that it's more dated and more difficult to watch than it actually is. You hear "drag-themed comedy from the 90s based on a musical from the 80s based on a play from the 70s" and you brace yourself just a little, right? But the film has a strong gay perspective, so the fruity fag jokes mostly come off as warmly affectionate. There is a surprising amount of poignancy in Robin Williams' portrayal of Armand, grudgingly agreeing to his beloved son's request that he go back into the closet for an evening ("do me a favor and don't talk to me for a while"). The drag club's staff attempting to redecorate the apartment with stuff straight people might like (a taxidermy moose head, an enormous crucifix, and Playboy magazine) is extremely funny. Albert's histrionics are a point of tension because he does often come off as a stereotypically pathetic/comic figure, but towards the end of the movie he makes it very clear that he's aware of how people see him, and asserts that trying to copy a stoic masculinity he doesn't possess for the sake of social approval would be more pathetic. In the 1983 musical adaptation, they give "Albert" (Albin) the only good song in the whole show, "I Am What I Am", which Gloria Gaynor covered to the delight of gays everywhere. Apparently Nathan Lane wasn't (publicly) out yet in 1996, which is amazing because it means that at one point in this movie you're watching a gay man playing a straight man playing a gay man playing a straight man, in a movie about how it's important to be yourself, an absurdity that does seem to encapsulate the state of gay America in the 90s.

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This is so wholesome

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trying to describe poirot to my friend at trivia night: "if youve seen a detective who looks like this, thats him"

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beep boop~

[art by me - neonscrapyard]

instagram || etsy

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Zoozve, my beloved

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eleventh is still my favourite

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Government sanctioned daily coffee budget for cute transsexuals is entirely essential btw. They are depriving us and forcing us to stay sleepies tired

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me when I'm writing: oh god. this is so hard. i need a break. what are words. this is nothing. i am nothing. i am so tired. im going to actually die. my head is on fire. i am going to bite someone.

me when I'm not writing: If I Do Not Create A Sentence I Am Going To Turn Into A Eurasian Minnow

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Actual things that happen in the 1897 Dracula novel, without context:

A character has ominous nightmares and attributes them to eating too much paprika

Dracula first appears wearing a fake beard

The person he was trying to fool with the fake beard immediately realizes Dracula and Beard Guy are the same man, due to both having really firm handshakes

We are told parrots are immortal unless fatally wounded

A Texan cowboy opens fire on a bat flitting around a window, and lodges a bullet in the wall of an occupied room

A woman is called a polyandrist for receiving blood transfusions from multiple men

An incorrectly addressed telegram leads to two deaths, multiple druggings, and several children being assaulted

Dracula, while trying to maintain a low profile, takes a lovely trip to the zoo and freaks out the animals so badly that he gets mentioned in a newspaper article

The one character who knows anything about vampires spends a good two-thirds of the book refusing to talk about vampires

Dracula went to Satan's Witchcraft Academy and somehow this is only brought up in two throwaway lines

A character gets stuck inside a circle of communion wafer crumbs

A major plot point of the book is Dracula (who was said to be a brilliant scholar and has the strength of twenty mortal men) realizing he can move boxes without human help

Someone is referred to as "manifestly a prig of the first water"

Two characters have a hobby of reading train schedules

A hospital lets a mental patient escape to see what will happen

A character starts vomiting up feathers from eating whole birds

A doctor refuses to give a medical diagnosis and instead makes a speech about growing corn

Dracula impersonates another character just by wearing the same clothes, despite being taller and visibly much older. This deception is successful.

A character "cleans" a room by eating all the insects in it

Suddenly: rats. Thousands of them.

The heroes progress in their efforts through "the wonderful power of money," i.e., bribery

Dracula has three other vampires in his castle. Their relation to him is never explained, nor are any of them named.

A character insists his salvation depends on having a pet cat

Dracula is thwarted by flowers on more than one occasion

A group of vampires stand in the hall outside a man's bedroom, talking loudly about their plans to eat him. When he comes to the door to confront them, they run away laughing

Dracula wears an unfashionable hat and gets roasted for it

A group of Romanians encounter a disheveled, shouting man and, "seeing from his violent demeanour that he was English, they [give] him a ticket for the furthest station on the way thither that the train reached."

A boat crashes due to Dracula having the munchies

A wolf is thrown through a window and immediately runs off, confused and covered in glass

Dracula makes a bed

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if you ever feel incompetent just remember that Dracula was a military leader who graduated from wizard school and yet his best plan to break into a house was to throw a wolf through a window

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I’m not bitter

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*undooms your yuri* 🩸🫦

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You show up for your first day at Copyright-Free Magic School. As you're going through orientation, you're informed that all new students get a school-assigned familiar that they are responsible for housing and maintaining. The staff member assures you that your assigned familiar is appropriately chosen and reflects you in some way.

Spin this to find out yours. (Remember, you are responsible for maintaining this familiar in your dorm room.)

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The picture I didn't have to complement this post.

Caption says: Apocrypha

Captain of the Paranormal Liberation Front's VIOLET guerrilla regiment. He is favored by Re-Destro and has sworn loyalty to him. He has the ability to freely control ice, called "ice manipulation." He has been training his ability for many years and has acquired great power.

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if I had a dick that thing would never be flaccid . they'd call me The Erection on account of always having an erection. and it wouldnt even be for horny reasons it would be like when a dog wags its tail y'know they'll wag for any old reason . anyways that's why I don't have a dick . ppl would ask me if I had smth in my pocket and the answer would always be no