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show-your-fangs · 1 year ago

Note

I could request the double life of the reader, one as an agent and the other as a camgirl. Hotchner is a follower but they won't realize it until they travel on a case to an area where it's hot and they see a familiar brand.

By the way, I love your writing. 💖😊

anon i love you. take my hand in marriage RIGHT NOW.

It's You | Sugar Daddy!Aaron Hotchner

introducing--

The Secrets We Keep (a Bunny and Clyde story) - Part One

Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Aaron Hotchner x BAU/cam girl f!Reader

Words: 3k

CW: mutual masturbation, sex work (is real work), power imbalance/play.

Tags/warnings: master!hotch, reader works at the bau and is a secret cam girl, hotch is a customer, pet names (bunny, sweet girl), perv!hotch, mutual masturbation, hotch being a little mean.

a/n: yes, oh god yes will this become something I can already taste it. catch me writing another insanely long D/s series about these two because I AM IN LOVE.

Disclaimer: YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WRITING ANYWHERE ELSE WITHOUT MY CONSENT. REBLOGS ARE ENCOURAGED THOUGH. YOU MAY NOT FEED MY WORK TO ANY AI DATABASES OF ANY KIND OR TO USE MY WORKS TO TRAIN AI. FUCK AI.

The first time that he noticed a similarity he thought he’d officially lost his mind.

Maybe the sleep deprivation, insurmountable amounts of stress he was under, and the fact that he had yet to have his morning coffee were all working in tandem against him.

It had been a complete accident. You’d been walking towards your desk in the morning, in a foul mood and you didn’t care who saw it. You’d set your bag down on the wooden counter but accidentally miscalculated how close you were to it and slammed your foot into the metal leg that separated them.

A yelp escaped your lips, high pitched, painful, sexual. His ears had perked up immediately, his brows scrunching together as he tried to remember where he’d heard that sound before. Realization struck him like a truck running him against a brick wall.

No, there was no way, his brain was being absurd, he was being absurd.

The day wrapped him up in a tornado of meetings and he’d almost forgotten about the incident earlier in the day, but then he received a notification late at night, after he’d returned home from a long day at the office. She was online, his favorite, perfect girl.

Aaron had never been one for porn, never really saw the appeal of overly produced, almost veering on fake sexual content. He’d met his wife in high school, he was never in need of searching for something that he already had.

But after Haley passed away and he became increasingly frustrated with the idea of having to put himself out there and date someone else to get the intimacy that he desired, he’d bitten the bullet and signed up for one of the many sites that Morgan had not so subtly been recommending for the past few months.

To think that his colleague could tell he was so sexually frustrated to the point that he’d began dropping hints about it had made him more embarrassed than signing up for the site.

The first few times that he used the site were…interesting. Getting past that wall of righteousness he’d put up around himself was difficult. He wanted, no, needed release, craved it in a way he’d never felt before.

He’d go from stream to stream, curious, trying to keep an open mind. But nothing really spoke to him, nothing really made him excited to engage, to stay longer than a few minutes, to touch himself.

And then he’d found her, bouncingbunny1, or Bunny as she went by for the customers that paid enough to be in her inner circle.

She was beautiful in that girl next door who was secretly naughty way that he hadn’t realized he was so attracted to. Always clad in delicate pink lingerie, never showing her face, even when he’d finally gotten over his fear and paid for a private session.

It was easy to fantasize, easy to let himself go and allow the soft cadence of her voice, the filthy sounds of her moans as she touched herself for his pleasure and his pleasure only, making him come undone in minutes.

He’d learned something dangerous about himself then, a desperate need to dominate, to control, to have power over someone in such an intimate way. Watching this delicate woman come undone by his orders, his commands, his instructions on how he wanted her to pleasure herself was more satisfying than anything he’d experienced before.

Now, months later, he could confidently accept that this had been one of the best decisions he’d ever made. Sure, he spent as much money on her as he did on rent every month, but it was honestly worth it. He had an insurmountable amount of access, she’d told him as much on their nightly conversations.

It wasn’t just about release anymore. He found himself talking to her, texting and calling, whenever she was online and he needed her. There had been a few instances where they’d closed a particularly tough case and all he needed was to hear her voice, but she was unavailable.

But she made up for it with messages filled with those silly kissing face emojis, telling him that she’d make it up to him later that night. And he never questioned it, never even found it odd that sometimes those moments happened to coincide with them being stuck on the jet or pulling a late night of paperwork at the office.

He had no reason to think anything of it, no reason to ever even begin to think of the possibility that it was you…that it could ever be you on the other side of his screen. You, his subordinate, his teammate, his friend who he adored and cherished and thanked the universe every day for your patience, kindness, love.

Even with the slightest possibility, the smallest sliver that it could be you—

user1102: Bunny.

bouncingbunny1: hiiiiii Master 🤭🥰🩷💖😚

user1102: Can we play?

Bouncingbunny1: yes sir

He smirked to himself, immediately calling. He never showed his face or his body. The only indication that he was real was through what he allowed you to hear. That was another thing that he’d noticed about himself, how deep and sharp his voice could get when he allowed himself to be free.

You answered the call immediately. You knew he didn’t like to be kept waiting and you couldn’t contain your excitement every time he called you. He was the only reason you were still doing this, even after finishing college (debt free), after getting through the academy and getting the job you’d been desperately working towards all your adult life – he had come in and kept you wrapped up in his orbit.

You’d started working at the BAU almost a year ago. They were down an agent and you’d been brought in to train for the position. The transition had been stressful, something that you were accounting for but not to this degree.

You had taken a break from camming in preparation for the adjustment period, taking your time to see if you would even want to return to it or if it was a closed chapter in your book.

But you’d returned home one night after a particularly grueling case, with so much pent up energy, so much bratty energy that the only way that you knew how to get it out in a healthy way was to put on a show.

You’d spent the next few hours with your bluetooth vibrator inside you, a pretty baby blue lingerie set over it, cumming over and over and over and over again as the people watching paid to make the device go faster and faster and faster.

That’s when you first met him, user1102. After the first hour was up and you were practically hanging on to your couch for dear life, he’d told you he’d pay five hundred dollars if you took a break, if you drank a full glass of water for him on camera to show him you were taking care of yourself.

And so you did, everyone else in the chat respecting the decision, albeit annoying as it was, since they all understood that money spoke volumes and they were not in the market to try and outbid whoever he was.

You didn’t recognize him from your usual clients which meant that this was the first time he was seeing you, and what a night to start indeed. He kept coming back after that, every time that you were able to find the time or needed to find release, to clear your mind of the day’s events.

He was always a big tipper, an even bigger flirt, always made sure to send public and private messages while you played live, always said hello and goodbye.

You’d squealed loudly when he finally requested a private session and made sure you looked extra good for him. He was perfect, even if you had no idea what he looked like, and these sessions became more and more frequent to the point that you’d almost stopped performing for other people.

You were sitting in front of your couch on the cold wood floor, a fluffy towel under you. He could see a few toys off camera and a large water bottle that he’d gotten you next to them, clearly just in frame for him.

“Hi bunny,” he groaned, his hand already wrapped around his cock.

“Hi Master,” you whimpered, already feeling spacey and out of it. It was always like this with him, easy to slip, to submit, to simply allow your brain to think about following his instructions.

“Someone’s eager,” he mocked and you immediately knew what he was talking about. It was crazy to think that you were so attuned to him, to where his mind was. It filled you with warmth every time that you could anticipate his thoughts, his needs, his desires.

“Prepared,” you whined, offended. “I always make a mess when we play and I’m tired of having to mop my floor.”

He chuckled, hand tightening around himself. He never had to work to get hard when he spoke with you, the mere thought of getting to play, as you liked to call it, enough to get him going.

That’s when he noticed it, a small band aid on the side of your foot.

“What happened to your foot, sweet girl?” he asked, his heart beating uncomfortably fast, blood practically shooting up to his ears and his cock.

“Oh…” you started, a little afraid that he’d punish you for not being careful. “I bumped it against a chair today.”

He came harder than he’d ever had that night just by the mere thought that you were the one letting out those addicting noises, that you were the one coming undone because of him, that you were the one writhing, shaking, panting, so completely at his mercy that you’d quite literally do anything for him.

You were in god awful, swampy Florida. The summer sun was unforgiving, the cozy, long sleeve you had chosen for what you believed would be a long day at the office doing paperwork was definitely the worst clothing choice as the humidity practically clung to your body.

You wanted to scream, wanted to punch something, wanted to take it off and not worry about flaunting your practically naked breasts to everyone around you. Anything to get rid of the burning heat that trapped your body.

You were practically a walking puddle when you made it back to the station, practically bolting to the bathroom in a cloud of smoke. Morgan couldn’t help but chuckle, he’d been teasing you about it all afternoon, especially after he’d urged you to change and you had refused because you were sure you’d be staying inside with Reid in the comfort of the air conditioned building.

Aaron couldn’t help but notice your mood. You weren’t normally this grumpy. You were usually the one making sure he stopped frowning. He gave you a moment and then followed behind swiftly.

You stepped into the women’s bathroom and immediately pulled your shirt over your head, tossing it aggressively over the sink. You stood there, heaving, allowing the cold air to seep into your body, to have it calm you down, ground you.

Aaron was about to knock when he saw the door slightly ajar and he immediately stilled, his eyes landing on your topless body. It was too similar, you were too similar, his brain now desperately trying to find similarities between you and her.

You were wearing a cupless white lace bra, one that he could’ve sworn he’d bought you only a few days prior. You hadn’t worn it yet, at least not to his knowledge, which meant you must’ve just gotten it in the mail.

It was overwhelming to say the least. He couldn’t continue going on like this. He needed to know.

He pulled out his phone, discreetly lingering outside of the women’s bathroom, always glancing around to make sure no one could see him.

user1102: Bunny, I need you.

The second his thumb pressed send his gaze shot up to you once more, waiting to see your reaction. As much as his Bunny would sometimes tell him that she couldn’t play right that second, she’d always, without fail, answer his messages within seconds.

He could see your attention shift from the mirror in front of you to your phone for a second as you slid your new shirt over yourself. His gaze sharpened, his cock twitched in anticipation, his breathing hitched.

But instead you pressed one key and brought the device up to your ear, your soft, steady voice muffled by the distance between you. He sighed deeply, in defeat as he looked back down at his phone, his message unanswered.

“Are you okay?” he almost jerked back as he heard you address him, concern lacing your voice. You were right beside him then, those round, doe eyes of yours that he loved so much wide and worried.

He could simply nod, enough to satisfy you and yet not give you even an ounce of understanding into what was really going on.

You all made it to the hotel later that night. He had quickly checked you all in since you were all about to drop. It had been a very long day to say the least and all you really wanted was to take an ice cold shower and go to sleep.

“Alright,” he addressed the group. “Rossi, room 702, Reid and Morgan, room 705, JJ, room 806, Emily and–” his eyes met yours and he immediately lost his train of thought for a second before he handed the key cards to the raven haired woman beside you. “Room 807.”

He stepped back. “I’ll be down in room 604 if anyone needs anything. Back at the lobby at seven.”

With that you all shuffled towards the elevators, like a horde of zombies. You had been true to your word, practically cold plunging yourself in the shower and proceeding to put on some shorts and a baggy t-shirt to sleep in.

Emily took the shower after you were done, your plan being to throw yourself on the bed and pass out immediately. But as luck would have it, your stomach practically screamed at you to feed it.

You sighed deeply, crossing the room to see if room service was still open at the late hour only to realize it had just closed. You groaned in annoyance, the brat peeking through, your body starting to crave a different type of relief.

Luckily there was a vending machine down on the sixth floor, so that’s where you found yourself, irritatingly making the trek down. The elevator doors opened directly into the hall with the vending machine and you practically came face to face with an equally tired Aaron, clad in his own gray shirt and loose pajama pants.

You bit down on your lip, approaching him slowly. He saw you the second the elevator doors opened and it made him angry that he just knew it was you. There was something so specific about the air whenever you were around, it always felt lighter, smelled sweeter.

“Hungry?” he asked as you approached and you nodded.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” you replied and he leaned down to pick up the prepackaged sandwich he’d just gotten for himself.

Your hand wrapped itself around the almost phallic, plastic wrapped item, his gaze slowly falling down your body until it landed on your chest. To say he visibly tensed up was an understatement.

You frowned immediately, stepping forward, into his personal space, your own eyes searching for his but they were glued to your shirt. You looked down at yourself, concerned that maybe there was something on it that had offended him. It was rowdy, but nothing to write home about which only confused you further.

“My college friends used to be in a band,” you explained, trying to lighten the mood. “They made like three of these shirts,” you laughed, clearly remembering fond memories. “Anyway, it’s silly and stupid, I know, but I still have it.”

He knew, he knew all of that, because he’d once called her– you while you were still in your pajamas, wearing that very specific shirt. You’d told him that same story, with a few more details of course, but still.

There was no denying it now, no way to twist the truth, no way to unknow what he now knew for certain.

His own hand pulled on the sandwich and your frown only deepened, as if the gesture itself had cut you so deep, had broken your heart so painfully.

“It’s…uh– option three, sorry, I have to…” he was down the hall in record time, his heart pounding, his cock practically rock hard against his abdomen. He needed to calm down, needed to take a minute to compose himself, needed to get back to grab his phone so that he could—

user1102: Come to my room.

The message confused you even more than Aaron just had. You were in no mood to deal with anyone, even the man you had made you feel more alive than you had in years. That’s when you noticed you hadn’t replied to him earlier, but whatever guilt you were feeling quickly washed away as anger settled in.

Who the fuck did they both think they were?

bouncingbunny1: ???

user1102: 604

The color drained from your face in an instant. No, it couldn’t be. There was no way, your brain was being absurd, you were being absurd.

user1102: Now, bunny.

You gulped loudly, shaky legs somehow managing to lift carry down the hall. The bright light of the hallways almost sobering you up. Were you seriously about to do this?

At worst you walked over to his door, knocked and he stared at you confused and you’d just have to live with the embarrassment of coming up with a lie. At best…at best he opened the door and dragged you into his room, pressed his lips to yours, and finally gave you the satisfaction of fucking ruining you like you’d wanted your boss and user1102 to do for so long.

You didn’t even get to lift your hand to knock on the door before it swung open aggressively and he stepped into your personal space, his tall, broad frame towering over you.

“Oh, bunny,” he hummed. “Didn’t anyone tell you not to go looking for the big bad wolf?”

“No, Master.”

this was TOO SATISFYING TO WRITE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. it was crazy to go from soft boy mr. hotchner to just...insanity and power and control and i love how this turned out.

y'all better fucking FLOOD my inbox with asks for them.

tags: @xladyxdreamer, @ssamorganhotchner, @canuck-eh

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #show your fangs writes #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner x female reader #sugar daddy!hotch #bau!reader #cam girl reader #I will see you all in hell where we'll be deranged together #show your fangs hotch blurbs #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner smut #dom hotch #the secrets we keep #bunny and clyde

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wndaswife · 2 months ago

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hm what’s you’re opinion (if you have one) on what you said happened at the end of your *spoiler* post? hopefully you know what i’m referring to lol like the thing

SPOILERS for the assessment under the read more (below i will talk about freud's child parent theories and gender theory related to that between mother and daughter identification)

to be clear about the specific event im talking about it's not so much a spoiler like it doesn't tell you major plot points but talking about over arching themes may take the fun out of understanding the movie yourself

a major part of the movie is the couple grappling with what is real and what is fake (i guess), since the whole thing is how people made a new technological world to make up for an earth destroyed by climate change

but also there is one thing about the dynamic between the assessor and her 'parents' that was kind of random and i feel didn't really fit with the rest of the movie, which is the whole fruedian parent child relationship and maybe it's just my own brain because im really interested in him and his theories and also gender theory, but the whole time they were together i thought a lot about the daughter's relationship with her mother and father

to me i saw the assessor's relationship to her father as the typical freudian one, but with the mother i see a mother-daughter identification i see the daughter rejecting her identity as a female and thereby detests the mother (idk if this is freudian but i think it's possible in a society where gender roles and expectations can be viewed. but the issue with the whole parent role for me was that how can these gender roles be observed and acted upon if they live completely isolated from others in a day to day basis??? gender roles such as the child adopting freudian preference shouldn't have been possible, so the assessor i suppose had to implement her own gender biases which just seems unnecessary, but this movie isn't about that specifically so i suppose it's fine but still kinda meh for the whole parent child dynamic to be so freudian.. his theories r the most popular regarding that i guess)

and the mother seeing herself or an innocent version of ambition or vulnerability and purity in the child, and in mia's case this did not result in mutual hatred but empathy and also identification, since i think mia saw something natural and real about the way the assessor would behave like a child, going against typical norms, but also in the assessor herself as an adult and as a person

but also mia contrasts the whole of society and the fake world because she's really into things that are natural and real; she wants a real child and her whole profession is dedicated to botany and growing real, natural earth. i think she felt attraction to the assessor's vulnerability and 'realness,' and i suppose this is emphasized even more at the end-ish when she discusses this more (i won't say in what setting this happens because it's a big turning point for the movie)

so in kissing the assessor i think it was a very dangerous pull to something real and natural, away from her life from her husband (and it's no coincidence that his profession is that he's some kind of AI engineer or something that can make very realistic fake models of things). so she pulled away and felt guilty, but her kissing the assessor was symbolic of mia's natural pull to real things that go against a fabricated world, but also the point that the closer she becomes to this fake child and sees the difficulty of the things during the assessment, the further she pulls from fabricated reality

for fun i even see some wlw themes in this but so subtle and underlying

#rae responds #anon #im gonna tag this under #movie review #because it's about analysis #the assessment

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satureja13 · 8 months ago

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The Boys rode through the pouring rain across the Bridge over to Koh Sahpa. And the horses stopped by a stilt house. Jack: "Are we going to stay here? Woah! When I showed Ji Ho the beach after he arrived we saw a stilt house and we talked about how awesome they are and we asked Arturo if we can buy a lot here to build one..." Vlad: "Arturo told us. Kiyoshi, Jeb and I built it to make it up to you. It's not finished yet. You were only supposed to see it later. " (So that was their secret project!) So Kiyoshi built this house. For Jack. (Even Lunatic is stunned ^w^)

So Jeb built this house. For Saiwa. Sai had put all his hopes in that circuit board because he has no idea how he is supposed to look Jeb in the eyes again after they 'agreed' that Sai should give in to a fake relationship with Kiyoshi to bring him back from the tree. Because they thought Kiyoshi is Saiwa's fated mate. But he wasn't. Saiwa stared into nowhere... Before Sai could follow these thoughts further he got distracted by the noise of the singing birds. Why are they so loud? Bird... (They really are so loud here ö.Ö') He has no idea how to go on.

Vlad: "Look after them and try to finish the rest." (Yeah I know. Who would trust crazy Jack with looking after anyone? Usually he is the one they need to look after and care for. But Vlad trusts him. Because he knows the Jack behind his disorders and antics (and the ones who know adult Jack from our other stories know it too :3) And he knows that he can rely on him when it comes to it.) Jack: "You're leaving? What about the Bond?" Vlad: "Jeb and Kiyoshi need me. They are broken too. I will feel it when it's due to charge the Bond."

Jack: "When you feel it Ji Ho already suffers. He has the deeper connection to the Bond. Don't let him beg for it. The intervals are always the same when you don't use it's magic. Just come here in time and do it." Vlad: "Uhm. Ok." Vlad and his foolish pride and reluctance. Luci had been bolder... And Ji Ho often said that he doesn't mind physical intimacy with Vlad.

Then it was time for Vlad to leave - to look after Jeb and Kiyoshi... He is hesitating.

And Jack took Saiwa inside to give them time to get their stuff together. Oh my, after all they already did with each other they still behave like this...

Vlad: "The Bond. I will be back before..." Ji Ho: "Ok."

They held on to each other a bit longer than usual. Maybe the Bond hates it to see them apart or maybe they will miss each other. Who knows?

Vlad left and Ji Ho went inside. Ji Ho: "Oh. He's already sleeping. I hope he changes his mind about Tiny Can. I could really need some help from a therapist. Even if it's only an AI." Jack: "An AI is even better! He knows everything and is always up to date with the latest research and discoveries! He must have scanned countless articles, diagnoses, therapy approaches, research papers... I'm so ready to try it and get stuff fixed in my furry brain."

They sighed and turned around to take in the view. And just across the river there was the stilt house they had admired a few weeks ago. Just the one Kiyoshi, Vlad and Jeb built is so much more beautiful. Because they built it with love 💞

'There's a message in the wild And I'm sending you this signal tonight You don't know how desperate I've become And it looks like I'm losing this fight

In your world I have no meaning Though I'm trying hard to understand And it's my heart that's breaking Down this long distance line tonight

But I ain't missing you at all Since you've been gone away I ain't missing you No matter what I might say'

Missing You - John Waite Link above leads to the MV on youtube

From the Beginning ~ Underwater Love ~ Latest 🕹️ 'Therapy Game' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 8 months ago

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A Roundup of the Kate Conspiracy Theories from Twitter

So you don't have to go down the rabbit hole. Some of them are dark; I'll put those at the end below the cut so anyone who wants to scroll away can scroll away.

(My favorites in bold)

She had a BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift).

She's Banksy.

Botched cosmetic procedure, needed urgent fixing.

William cheated with Rose again and she left him, taking the kids with her.

Hysterectomy + tummy tuck = botched.

Bad haircut/dye job.

Kept a pregnancy secret, delivered by c-section.

Diana's revenge

William lost his temper and beat her so badly that they're keeping her hidden till the bruises/broken bones are healed.

William kicked her out because he doesn't want her to be Queen.

Divorce of the Wales Part Two because William cheated

Bottom surgery

Kate grew a conscience so they had to kill her and are now replacing her brain with AI.

Shelly Miscavige'd

She abandoned and fled to a tropical beach.

She quit the royal family and is touring Britain in a converted transit van, selling dreamcatchers made from her own hair on Etsy to make ends meet.

Kate donated a kidney to Charles in return for becoming Queen soon.

Boob job

She went through a cosmic wormhole and left the Milky Way Galaxy.

Female 007

She's the one with cancer, Charles is faking it so everyone leaves her alone.

Took the kids and moved to Scotland

Growing out bad bangs

Meghan's karmic revenge

They're building a robot clone of her so she doesn't have to work anymore.

Trying to reach the end of YouTube shorts

Coma from botched surgery

The press knows but are under a gag order/injunction and can't report

She was never in the hospital.

William threw something at her, it hit her in the face, needs corrective surgery

Complications from pregnancy and on bed rest

Cholecystectomy/gall bladder surgery

Spontaneously combusted

Tragic accident a la Diana, better cover-up this time.

Charles actually died, it's just an actor walking around until the Waleses are ready to take the throne officially.

Botched BBL using her own stomach fat.

Rehab for alcoholism

Being reprogrammed to accept mistresses

She's playing Celebrity Big Brother

IVF transfer and first trimester HG recovery

Banished/handled by Camilla

Facelift

Bad botox/filler, waiting for it to dissolve

Put out to pasture by the royal family because she's finished having children.

Abducted by aliens

William didn't want to start his reign married to someone he hated, so he left her and is forcing a divorce.

She ran away to Italy

Argument over where George would go to school, William made it physical, she tried to leave

She's in the Princess Protection Program

At Chili's chugging margaritas

Binged too much at Christmas, now trying to lose weight

She wandered off during the Glasgow Willy Wonka Experience and is stuck to the ceiling after drinking the fizzy lifting drink and they can't get her down.

Smuggled to America

Mental breakdown from William's cheating

Inpatient treatment for eating disorder

Complicated miscarriage

CPTSD breakdown (complex post-traumatic stress)

All the people that Twitter suggested we need to call to investigate Kate's whereabouts:

Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch edition)

Scully and Mulder (X Files)

Captain Olivia Benson (L&O:SVU)

Charlie from It's Always Sunny

Nanny Jo Frost

Steve and Blue (Blue's Clues)

Sergent Catherine Cawood (Happy Valley)

Rustin Chole (Matthew McConaughey from True Detective)

Harriet the Spy

Luther (Idris Elba edition)

Trevor Rainbolt

Jaz Singh (British Traitors edition)

One final reminder: The really dark theories about Kate are below the cut here.

William went into a drunk alcoholic rage and killed her.

Staph infection/sepsis from the trampoline injury that caused paralysis/amputation

Family annihilation by William

Severely injured in shooting accident at Sandringham shortly after Christmas when an ambulance was rushed to hospital from the royal estate.

Suicide attempt and mental health treatment

William beat her into a coma

#brf #theories #waleses

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bellygunnr · 6 months ago

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Cavalry Call

Commission piece for @poisonheadcrabsalesman of my Spartan and AI Roland driving a tank!

Gunny squints through the War Games UI. He's not in armor, so there's no HUD, necessarily, but his neural implant jumps to connect with the simulation pod and forces various shapes and lines to scrawl over his naked eyes. It makes his brain pulse in a deeply uncomfortable way. He jabs aimlessly at the air, snarling when he puts in the wrong option, tosses his head back when his implant abruptly goes icy and his world tinges yellow.

Bit small in here, isn't it? A familiar voice says.

Gunny leans on the edge of the pod, world swimming counter-clockwise.

"Roland," he says. "What are you doing up?"

The freezing sensation zips down his spine and melts slowly. His vision flares. Roland is-- showing off, he realizes, rifling through his brain and making the pod easier to work with.

"This is an oddly specific setup for you," Roland replies, ignoring him completely. "Ohhh. You were Army?"

The pod hums to life. Gunny climbs inside, settling into the straps, harness, and chair, and tries not to think about Roland partially riding inside. He didn't ask for a buddy, but maybe he's just doing that badly, to warrant pity from--

Hey, Roland says sharply.

Right.

He relaxes into the restraint. The hum rises in volume until his molars buzz, and then the world melts away. His limbs grow heavy and gravity tries to yank him to the ground.

But he catches his footing and rolls back to a standing position-- right next to an M808B MBT. Scorpion, for short. Gunny runs his hands over the angled hull of a tread pod, nodding to himself. It'd be a tight fit inside with his helmet.

I've never driven one of these before, Roland comments. Mind if I tag along?

"Do I have a choice?" Gunny grunts, swinging himself up and over the rear pod and on top of the cockpit.

He kicks open the hatch with one practiced strike with his boot, but hesitates on diving inside. Instead, he crouches under the long barrel, taking stock of his surroundings. That was the problem with War Games--

It could simulate enemies, but not friendlies. His ghosts didn't care what he was doing here.

"You always have a choice," Roland says, seeping into his armor speakers. "You haven't said no yet, either."

"You didn't ask," Gunny snaps. "You seriously haven't ridden a tank?"

His HUD shivers yellow at the edges. He wishes he knew what Roland is doing, knows he can ask, but doesn't. The horizon some two kliks south lights up in neon and ionizes the air. Shakes the ground.

Don't sound so surprised, Roland says, deep in his mind, I'm usually busy flying a starship!

He sucks in a deep breath and swings down into the cockpit of the tank. The tip of his helmet's horn grazes the ceiling before the single seat bolted to the floor grabs him and holds him close. His neck twinges as Roland jumps around, stretching himself out to fill the space of a brain and fake reality, while his neural implant does the same to sink deep into the tank.

Yeah, okay. He hasn't been in a Scorpion in a long time. It's kind of comforting, if you consider lying prone in a giant metal coffin a comfort.

Still, it takes a second for the controls to rise to his finger tips. The tank has to be started manually, but that's muscle memory. Gunny's sure the only reason he's aware of the process at all is due to Roland skimming through his brain, pleased. Then it's letting the exterior sensors and computer guiding systems pour into his brain.

"Kind of claustrophobic, don't you think?" Roland laughs.

Under the laughter, there's a current of genuine discomfort. Gunny lets the massive engine roar up through his throat and into his guts, lets Roland copy the synapses necessary to encourage the tank to move, and hauls off toward the flashing forest with dirt and stone dragging across his- their- backside.

The Scorpion has its name for a few reasons, really. The most obvious is its silhouette. That low, wide hull that hugs the ground, yet snaps up into a long-snouted cannon turret. Just like its namesake, it has a long reach and a nasty bite.

And it's agile as hell.

Gunny coaxes the big thing off the plateau and down a pile of previously-blasted rock. Data rushes in at an increased rate and he braces for the skull-splitting division of attention that comes with it, but between Roland and the Spartan implant, coordinating the four track pods down the slope feels more like breathing than it should. The engine whines in discomfort as its buffeted by the slide.

He floors it into the copse of trees.

Roland is a heavy presence the entire time, all curiosity and quiet disapproval, apparently aware of how familiar Gunny is with the scenario and able to suss out what that means, exactly. It's the quietude that's unnerving-- moreso than the Covenant Armoured lurking just beyond the border of the woods.

"Did Crimson send you after me?" Gunny demands.

He's not sure if he speaks aloud or thinks really hard or what. There's like, two Spartans total on Crimson that'd hunt after him, and that's Sadie and Rhodes. And Rhodes and Roland--

Gunny's head twitches as he gets a targeting lock on a Wraith turning away from his position. That is according to plan. Yet...

He cuts the speed incrementally. Breathes in.

Can't a guy hang out with his favorite Fireteam?

His vision blurs slightly. The barrel drops. Brakes grind. The entire assembly jerks as he hammers in the firing solution and lets loose on the errant Wraith. The 102mm round drills through the shields and sinks deep into the power core of the beast.

Roland makes a little squeaking sound as he, presumably, detects every alien start trying to get a lock on their position. Gunny slams into reverse just as the Wraith gives up and explodes.

And explodes again-- ammunition reserve, then. Nice.

You really don't like tanks, huh? Gunny projects. Watch this.

"Target lock," the tank says.

Oh. Well.

The Scorpion lurches as he abruptly tries to pivot left and swings into a tree, knocking it over with a crack. Overhead, a flaming ball of plasma rains down onto their position.

"Oops," Gunny says blandly.

Roland jumps from the tank to his brain in a panic.

The exterior of the Scorpion burns. Gunny just hastily resets the simulation with a groan.

----

Like what you see? Commission me or drop me a ko-fi.

#halo #fireteam crimson #spartan gordon arizona #gunny writes #this was a lot of fun thank u for the encouragement

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dogfags · 5 months ago

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why does all social media fucking suck now. tumblr is the best one left but even it sucks bc can't post nsfw. instagram is becoming facebook 2.0 and riddled with bullshit ai features + have you SEEN an instagram reels comment section before cos holy shit. it's like nazi germany over there. tiktok was always horrible and only gets worse and I refuse to download it again. twitter is a cesspool of right wing incel alpha male tech bros talking nonsense and get u banned for the word cis. also refuse to download that app again. reddit doesn't even count as social media to me but I will not become a reddit user™. like idk I used to go Online and Have Fun and now it's just garbage. 200 million ads per second blasted in ur face + ai bullshit features and "art" and fake ai generated posts + rage bait for engagement + recycling of shitty 15 year old tweets with someone's face in the corner "reacting" to it as "content" + mass banning and deplatforming of minorities / anybody speaking out about gaza or any important social issues + constant stream of bigots yammering on their huge platforms that are pushed by the algorithm so I have to see their disgusting bullshit takes on my feed. it's all. shit. I want to just delete it all sometimes but I'm also addicted to my phone and I'd miss the gay people in it. idk. I only even use Tumblr and Instagram nowadays. I have Facebook but only for like family and irl friends. I need to stop watching ig reels tho I can feel it melting my brain matter and it is oozing out of my ears. I need like a social media detox. it's a real problem I have. I need to touch more grass

#barks #i just hate all of it now

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naamahdarling · 2 years ago

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On AI art. I realize this may be unpopular, and it's rambling.

I like it. Setting aside all the issues with it's creation, I love how a lot of it looks. So much is off about many of the images, and yet they possess this magnetic appeal: it's created to be superficially interesting to us, but on examination, many of the details are nonsense. And I fucking love that. I love it. I LOVE the unreal quality. It's like catnip to my brain, it's fantastic. I essentially love it for all the reasons it is detectably fake and not quite right. I love it for the reasons some people say it's shitty.

If it's based on images it scraped without consent, that's morally wrong to profit from. If it's not identified as what it is and something is being sold, that's also arguably wrong. But simply creating it isn't innately wrong, nor is its artificial nature in any way inherently detrimental to its potential as a means of expression. (Labor, length of training, time it takes to create, having no physical presence, NONE of these automatically add or subtract value from art, though all possess potential to do both.)

Many AI artists I watch have stopped tagging their work as such to avoid things like death threats from people specifically searching AI art tags to find people to harass. That is so fucked up. I am not at all fond of how people exploring this medium are being treated, regardless of where their bot gets its data, and I am deeply disgusted by how ableist and foul the dialog around it is. Just about the worst shit I have ever seen.

And I don't like its dismissal as not art because it's "just feeding prompts into a bot". There IS more to it than that, for the people I have been watching. And FFS, the Museum of Non-Visible Art COMPLETELY shatters the idea that four lines of description aren't artistically valuable. I have seen not one valid argument for its wholesale exclusion as an artistic medium, and doubt I will.

This is a matter of ethical means of production. Not whether it is "real" art.

I have been creating and experiencing art my entire life, and continually challenge myself to understand and define my relationship to it by exposing myself to art I admire and also a whole lot of art I don't actually like or see value in or consider successful in the execution of its intent.

After 45 years of disliking a great many things, I think the only thing I understand is this: art is something that happens between the person interacting with it and the work itself, both with the creator as they create, and with the person who winds up experiencing that creation.

I wish more people asked themselves what was happening for the artist, what is happening for them, instead of dismissing art they don't find appealing as "not art".

And we need to stop suicide-baiting people over this horseshit.

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nifolution · 2 years ago

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You Loved Me Once

Pairing: Jake Jensen / Plus-size Reader

Summary: It couldn't be gone. Somewhere deep inside him, he remembered their love. He had to.

Warnings: fluff, angst, feels, humor, mentions of naughty times with food, injuries, car accident due to explosion, mention of guns and being shot and stabbed, concussion, memory loss, fat shaming, heartbreak, breakup, enemies to lovers to strangers

A/N: Takes place roughly 5 years after the movie. This is a revised copy of my oc fic. It is still written in 3rd person. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

Main Masterlist

Jake Jensen tiptoed behind his niece, holding a finger to his lips to keep her friends mum about his presence. Carefully dropping a card into the hood of her zombie sweatshirt, he scampered away. The birthday girl would notice soon enough. And if not, her friends would point it out. The eighth graders well onto the sneaky uncle’s game.

Hannah was old enough that she preferred picking out her own things, but Jake hated the idea of just handing her a gift card. So he bought several for her favorite places; the ice cream parlor, the sporting goods store so she could get new cleats, the movies and so on. Throughout the party, Jake would stick a gift card in his niece's hoodie without her knowledge. The first was placed when he hugged her and wished her a happy birthday. Once discovered, he would find an opportunity to put in another.

Groaning, Stephanie plopped herself down, joining the table of chit-chatting adults. “You're a great uncle, but why did you have to convince her to have a zombie birthday?” She pointed an accusing finger at Jake, “Do you know how difficult it was to make a brain cake that oozes fake blood?”

“What? Christmas in July, zombies in June, not to mention 13 is an evil-evil number, made perfect sense to me.” He noticed out of the corner of his eye that Hannah found the gift card, pursing her lips in mock annoyance as she pocketed it. “Besides, Angel here deserves half the credit.”

Y/N scoffed, “Don’t throw me under the bus. Your sister knows this was all you.”

In reality they both had an obsession with the genre. The couple loved watching monster movies together. Gotten into more than one heated debate over who could defeat whom. Each of them had their favorite creature army and strategies. And although dead and undead things didn't technically qualify, it fell under a similar umbrella.

“Party’s almost over. Any exciting plans after this?”

“Hannah is spending the night at her best friend’s house. So I plan to finish a bottle of wine, and the rest of that cake, while I watch my show and pass out. Then tomorrow, she has to be back by noon, to start her project on ‘armadillos and their impact on the environment.’ Don’t forget, Jake, you promised to help her research for the report and make a diorama.”

“Ooh, I can help too. I know lots of armadillo facts. They’re insectivores… they love to swim… give birth to identical quadruplets, and their armor is tougher than a 9mm.”

Jake threw his arm around his girlfriend, “My Angel is so helpful.” As he spoke, his niece walked by with her overnight bag. He quickly placed another card into her hood without missing a beat. “I can’t wait to get you home, watch Godzilla kick some Ghidorah butt. Maybe have my favorite snack, a little taste of the rainbow,” he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

Stephanie cringed at the suggestive tone, “Eww, I don't even want to know.”

Hannah began to put on her shoes to leave, finding another gift card inside the left one. “UNCLE J!”

Looking as smug as ever, Jake grabbed Y/N’s hand, announcing that was their cue to leave.

---------------

The day Clay introduced Y/N to the team, Jake didn’t take too kindly to her. Giving any reason he could think of as to why The Losers didn’t need a sixth member. Determined to prove her untrustworthy and unnecessary, he drilled her about the drones she makes and her qualifications, trying to catch her in a lie.

He didn't find one, and Clay insisted that she would be an asset. While the rest of the unit was in the field, Y/N would be at home, providing remote support. So Jensen could focus on staying alive instead of his computer. It didn't stop him from feeling like he was being replaced. He was the tech guy, why did they need her?

"Just so we're clear, Y/N, if that is your real name, I am hacker A and you are hacker B. I was here first and I'm not going anywhere."

After the first operation she more than proved her usefulness. Research, logistics, hacking, navigation, and drone assistance. Her drones gave them a bird's eye view, cameras, surveillance, real time topography, thermal imaging, warning systems, an extra set of guns and more.

It was impossible to deny she knew what she was doing. They only walked away in one piece because of her. But it wasn’t until Jake was making his usual attempt at humor mentioned battling kaiju, that the most beautiful sound graced his earpiece. Y/N was laughing, she understood the joke. She then told him a real kaiju would stomp him into monster toe jam, giving Jake a fit of clamorous snorting and wheezing.

“Careful there, Jakey, I don’t want to have to call the paramedics because you passed out.”

He heard the smile in her voice, he couldn’t get enough. “I changed my mind. You are now hacker A. A for Angel.”

Everything changed after that day. Jake flirted with her constantly on comms, much to his teammates' chagrin. His nonsensical banter was now mostly aimed to amuse her. He loved hearing her heavenly voice in his ear. Willing to do whatever it took to make her laugh. The more time he spent speaking with her, the harder he fell. There was an undeniable connection between them.

"So my beautiful Angel, keeping an eye on us from high above, when will you grace me with a date?" Jake had asked before and she had let him down gently. He had to try one more time, even if it led to another rejection.

"I told you, I don't date coworkers. Not even reeeaaally cute ones," she whined. Once again regretting the no.

"I know, but we're more like… long distance coworkers." He smiled to himself, lowering his voice to what he considered a sexy tone, "We work oceans apart so we can be skin to supple naked skin at home… and occasionally other locations. So it's not really breaking your rule."

Y/N giggled, "How can I say no when you put it like that."

"Soooo that's a yes?"

She couldn't help but give in to his dorky charm. "Yes, you can take me out when you're stateside. We'll see where this goes."

"Oh it's going. It's going so far you won't know where the hell we are. Just me and you, lost with nothing but a flashlight and our body heat to keep us warm."

There it was again, his favorite sound.

Four years later Jake still makes inappropriate comments over comms. Their relationship remained strong. Their love and devotion never wavering. Y/N didn't know Jake had been hunting for the perfect ring and planning a big proposal. He wanted to get it just right, his Angel deserved no less.

---------------

“Let's get it oooonnnn.

Let's love, baby.

Let's get it oooonnnn, suGAR.

Let's get it oooonnnn, woo hooooooooo.”

An hour and a half outside one of Sri Lanka’s capitals, the roar of a large truck speeding down a dirt road, was accompanied by very offkey, shrill singing.

Pooch gripped the steering wheel tightly, turning his head briefly to yell at the offending teammate, “Shut up Jensen. You sound like a cat being skinned alive.”

The criticism didn’t bother Jake at all. “Don't be a party pooper, Linwood, I’m serenading my love.”

Y/N shook her head, smiling to herself. “You can sing to me later Jakey. Give the guys ears a break.”

“My gorgeous sexy Angel, when I return, I want to run a hot bubble bath for us. I need to feel those pretty nails scratch down my back. Then I’ll order sushi so you eat it off my naked body. This may or may not be followed by an equally sexy shower.”

"Clay, if I have to listen to this much longer, I'm gonna stab him." Aisha had enough. His lovesick screeching needed to be stopped.

Jake grinned ear to ear, placing his hands behind his head, "What can I say, she loves the angle of my dangle.”

“Okay, The Pooch does not need to hear about the weird Klingon sex or whatever you two are having.”

“Ooh Angel, HIja' bangwI' Ha'.”

"That’s enough,” Clay snapped. “Stop giving them new kinks and focus. The compound is eight klicks ahead. So unless you want to die today, zip it."

“You got it boss. Playtime’s over.” Jake’s voice became gruff and ominous, “Their evil lair looms in the distance. We must prepare our shields and sharpen our silver swords.”

“They aren’t werewolves... I don’t think.” Checking that her drones were in place and out of sight, Y/N cleared her throat, “Alright, it looks like the first set of guards are stationed in an armored vehicle outside the northwest entrance. All clear beyond that gate as of now.”

Clay nodded, “Copy that.”

“Come home to me safe Jakey.”

“Always my Angel. Love you.”

“Love you.”

---------------

All targets were eliminated, the team was on their way back to the hotel, the coast should have been clear. The explosion shocked everyone when an IED detonated under their truck. Four crawled out of the wreckage. The fifth was trapped inside, unconscious and unresponsive.

To say Y/N was drowning in guilt would be an understatement. She blamed herself for the accident. For logging off when she did. She wasn't watching out for them when they needed her. She should have monitored the vehicle better. It could have been prevented had she been more diligent. This was her fault. She would never forgive herself.

Clay knew the call would be a disaster. Weeping women made him uneasy. “I am the one that declared the mission complete. If you’re going to blame someone, blame me... No, do not fly out here. It could raise too many red flags and make the situation dangerous for us. Aisha already had to slip out of the country to avoid detection. Sit tight. I will call you when he wakes up… Jensen’s a fighter, Y/N, he will pull through.”

It would be three days of crying and worrying herself sick before she would hear from her team again. Clay called with good news; Jensen was awake.

“He’s okay. Like the rest of us, he has some superficial cuts and deep bruising. He has a concussion, so they want to keep him a couple more days for observation. Then we're heading home.”

Y/N could breathe again. “Please, let me talk to him.”

“That wouldn't be a good idea right now. Jensen is too agitated and confused due to um…” Clay exhaled, scrubbing a hand down his face, “Well, the concussion seems to have caused post-traumatic amnesia.”

“Amnesia? You mean he can’t remember anything?”

“He remembers everything before 2010 without any problem, but everything after is a blur. He doesn't remember… you.”

“He doesn't know me anymore? I…That doesn’t… If this is a joke, it's not funny, Clay.” As mad as she would be, she prayed this was a bad prank of Jake’s. Hopelessly looking around, expecting him to be sneaking up on her to grab her.

“I wish it was. The doctors assure us it is temporary, but its duration is undetermined. Could be hours to months. Until then he needs to avoid stress and stimulation, let his head heal. We can calmly tell him things he forgot, but not try to force him to remember. It will come back on its own.”

Clay grimaced, “And it kills me to ask this, Y/N, but can you pack up some of his things? It would be better if Jensen stays with his sister, just until he’s more acquainted with you. He would undoubtedly be more comfortable somewhere familiar with someone he’s known his whole life.”

There was no response. If it weren't for her breathing, Clay would have thought the line disconnected. “Y/N?” he tried again. “I know it’s a lot, hun, but you guys will get through this. Jensen will be better in no time. I’ll keep you updated.”

Y/N’s voice cracked as she softly answered, “O-okay.”

---------------

Jake had a killer migraine. The more he tried to think, the worse it got. Waking up in a different year will do that to a person. He wished it was because of something cool, like time travel or being kidnapped by aliens that zapped his brain, but no, it was just a car accident. An occupational hazard that caused him to lose the last five years of his life.

It felt like being trapped in the twilight zone. Everything was different. His team did their best to fill him in on what he was missing. He had to be told of their set up and life as fugitives. Of Roque's betrayal and death. How they were cleared and given honorable discharges, but let the ties remain cut. They were their own unit now, with Clay still leading. It made Jake happy that hadn't changed, they still kicked ass together. He didn’t want to lose anyone else.

The part that intrigued him the most was being told he had a long time girlfriend, Y/N. Whom he called Angel. The group did the best they could telling him about the love of his life. His phone was damaged in the accident, so he couldn’t see a photo. The rest of the team weren’t picture taking people, with the exception of Pooch, who had a million of his son. Crazy, that his friend was now a father.

He learned how they met, about their home, and things they liked to do together, like mini golf and road trips to comic cons. That he loved everything about her, often claiming he secretly made her in a lab, because she couldn't be more perfect for him. And Y/N felt the same about him. He’d give her the honor of wearing his pirate hat when he was away. The one he claimed can only be worn with undies. The Losers hated that they knew that detail, but Jensen liked to overshare. How he still begged her to create a drone that can grab him and carry him through the air like Superman.

Jake listened intently and was excited to meet the awesome mystery woman they spoke about.

---------------

He had been back for less than twenty four hours and his head was killing him. He hadn’t recognized his own niece, she had grown so. Hannah jumped into his arms when he walked in the door, and he didn’t know her. Jake saw the heartbreak on her and his sister’s faces when she told him who she was. He felt like shit. The years he misplaced, this damn brain injury, was hurting the people he loved most.

Someone decided to throw Jensen a welcome home dinner at Clay’s. It certainly wasn’t Clay. All of the Losers would be there, including Y/N. They hoped this night would trigger his memories, or at least make him comfortable enough to move back home with her. They convinced themselves that seeing his girlfriend again would make everything click back into place.

Jake anxiously awaited her arrival. Practically bouncing off the walls with nervous energy. Clay had told him more than once to sit his ass down and relax, but he found it impossible.

Having gotten a babysitter for the night, Pooch arrived with his wife Jolene, a few cases of beer and bottles of wine.

Cougar was the next to arrive, he thought it better to not bring a date for once, Jensen didn't need actual strangers around to confuse him further.

Aisha walked in shortly after. Jake’s face lit up as he ran over, “Holy smokes, you guys weren't kidding. She is definitely mine.” He attempted to put his arm around her waist, but she was faster, catching and twisting the limb until it nearly broke.

Clay walked over to separate them. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time he had to rescue Jensen from her for doing something stupid. “Not yours, mine.” At Aisha’s glare he clarified, “When she wants to be that is. Jensen, this is Aisha. Hands to yourself or she is likely to shoot you again.”

“AGAIN?!”

“Did we not tell you that?”

Shit, she was late. Y/N had stopped to pick up dinner and it took longer than expected. This was not the way she wanted to see her Jakey again. She wore the superheroes vs supervillains jacket he bought for her. Each side ran up a sleeve and collided in battle in the back. Hoping that the sight of her in it will jog his memory. Nervously bouncing her legs, she checked her appearance in the car mirror. Not everyday the love of your life meets you for a second time.

Y/N quietly entered the apartment, her eyes instantly locked onto Jake. He was having a conversation with Pooch and Cougar, laughing and carefree. She noticed the cuts and bruises on his face and arms, knowing there were more under his clothes. It took all her strength not to run over and kiss each one.

She stood awkwardly by the door with the bags of food in her hands, waiting. Jake turned his head and looked right at her. Holding her breath, Y/N searched for any spark of recognition in his eyes. He watched her quizzically, but gave no other reaction. Maybe she should have worn the droids shirt she had on when they first met.

Jake, seeing no one else moving to help, rose from his chair to assist. Giving an apologetic smile as he took the bags from her, “Sorry about that. Do we owe you anything?”

She blinked at him, “Huh?”

“I'm not sure who paid for the dinner,” he lifted the bags in question closer to eye level.

“Oh, I did. It was my turn.”

Jake stared blankly at her, before tilting his head, “So we know you?”

“Yes, I’m part of the team. I'm - I’m Y/N, your girlfriend.”

He threw his head back, “Ha! Very funny. Which one of them put you up to this?” Jake looked around the room for the culprit.

It felt like a snake winding around her heart. Why didn't he believe her? She looked at the group with worried eyes. This was getting uncomfortable for everyone. “No, it's not a joke. We’re together. We just had our fourth anniversary two months ago.”

“Oh,” Jake's eyebrows furrowed. He looked Y/N up and down, frowning. “Um, nice to meet ya. I guess.” Turning his back to her, he walked the food to the table. His splitting headache returned, thoughts swirling and unable to stick. He hated this.

Y/N didn't miss the pity in everyone’s eyes as she silently followed. She sniffed, trying to prevent the tears from falling. Her second first impression was turning out worse than the original.

During the meal, Jake sat in the chair next to her. His body tense, his smiles tight lipped and forced, unlike before. He avoided her gaze, scowling whenever Y/N tried to start a conversation. She made the mistake of touching his arm, and he recoiled. Her stomach was in knots, not understanding why he was reacting so harshly to her.

After everyone ate, Jake and the guys set up the poker table. He watched the women talking, growing bitter. As they brought over more drinks, he turned back to his friends, “This sucks. I deserve a hot babe like Aisha or Jolene. How'd I get stuck with the boring fat chick? Love of my life,” he scoffed, “I don't think so. Waste of my life maybe.”

Y/N froze in shock, her lip trembled. He couldn't have meant what he just said.

Pooch jumped to her defense, “Jensen what the hell, man? How could you say something like that? Amnesia or not, you’re never this rude and disrespectful. You may not remember right now, but Y/N is everything to you.”

“If you like her so much, why don't you date her,” he sneered.

”I have,” Clay retorted. “That’s how she came to work with us. Aisha and I were on a break and we dated. So I have first hand knowledge of how amazing she is.”

Jake’s voice filled with disdain, “Then why aren't you together? Perhaps it's because my first instincts about her were right. She can't be trusted and shouldn't be on this team.”

“Listen jackass, it’s because I decided to hire her. And you know I prefer my women a bit batshit crazy. She’s too sweet for me, but she’s perfect for you. You both have been smitten with each other from day one.”

Briefly turning to Y/N before refocusing on Clay, Jake shrugged, “I don't feel a damn thing when I look at her. Now that Aisha, she’s got parts of me stirring. Maybe I should steal her from you instead. Or have a different girl each night, like my man Cougar. Now that's the way to play it. Why tie myself to one woman, especially that one.”

There was an uproar from the group as Y/N sprinted to the bathroom, sobbing. Everyone began yelling at Jensen for his behavior. He fought back until his migraine got too severe. His vision blurred and he felt sick. Remembering his condition, the team felt guilty for the distress they caused. Cougar drove him back to his sister’s, while the women checked on Y/N.

Jolene rubbed Y/N’s back, trying to console her devastated friend. “You know his mouth is faster than his brain. He…”

“Talks out of his ass,” Aisha finished.

Jolene gave her a pointed look before continuing. “You two are amazing together. Just be patient, things will be better soon. This will all be like a bad dream before you know it.”

It was getting harder to breathe, the snake wound tighter and tighter. Y/N tried believing, but doubts and insecurities screamed in her head. And somehow the loudest was the one whispering, ‘You lost him and he's never coming back.’

---------------

Stephanie kept the team updated on Jake’s progress, or lack thereof. He spent the next two weeks hiding in her guestroom, sleeping or on his laptop, refusing to talk about what happened. In fact, he wasn’t speaking much to her or Hannah at all. Her brother’s silence was deeply concerning. To her memory, he’s never been quiet for more than ten minutes at a time. Hell, the man even talks in his sleep sometimes.

No one could imagine how hard this was for Y/N. They encouraged her to hold on just a little longer and her Jakey would be back to normal.

He doesn't mean it. You guys didn't hit it off the first time either. Keep trying.

You two need to spend more time together. You know he is crazy about you.

Sometimes brain injuries can lead to personality changes. This is temporary. The man loves you.

He will remember and come crawling to you with his tail between legs, begging for forgiveness.

He's not himself right now. He hasn't even been following how Hannah's soccer team is doing.

Give him another chance.

---------------

It was Tuesday night so the Losers went to their favorite hangout, Bar None, for half price drinks. Everyone was surprised when Jensen showed up in an Uber. Y/N did her best to greet him with warmth and a bright smile. For the next hour she tried talking with him, mentioning things from their life together and unsuccessfully keeping his eyes and attention on her.

Regrettably, he didn't give her the chance that she was trying to give him. Jake only looked at her with hatred in his eyes, making snide remarks. Her Jakey didn't have a mean bone in his body. He would get a bit aggravated with others when presented with something he forgot, but he was acting so cruelly toward Y/N. As if his subconscious was telling him she was his worst memory and protecting himself from her. It broke her heart more to think that may be true. She tried to hold her ground, but he was winning and his eyes were wandering.

Right now Jake was busy flirting with some redhead by the bar. The new him was surprisingly smooth. The woman responded to whatever he was saying with giggles and soft touches to his arm. After getting the chick’s number, he walked back to the booth like he won a trophy. He was met with a sea of disappointed and angry faces.

“What's wrong cougar, ya pissed I'm taking all your tail? The handsome cool laconic stranger act only goes so far pal. I'm on a roll tonight.”

Aisha’s fingers twitched, aching to grab her gun and shoot Jensen in the leg. “You’re pathetic. You are going to hate yourself when your memories are back. You’re royally fucking up here. The real Jake only has eyes for Y/N.”

Jake was sick of everyone telling him what he should feel. “Well, I'm not that Jake, I'm this Jake and this Jake doesn't want to go home with the ugly fat ass.” He looked at Y/N with disgust. Then raised his bottle in the redhead's direction, “I prefer to sample the riper fruit.”

The snake sunk its fangs in. Swallowing her hurt and humiliation, Y/N grabbed her purse and jacket, apologized to her teammates and headed out of the bar. Jake smiled at her retreat. ‘Good,’ he thought. His head felt better already.

Clay followed after his recruit, grabbing her arm before she got outside, “Don't go.”

“What's the point? Y/N screamed, her eyes watering. “You heard how he truly feels about me. We're clearly over.”

“He just doesn't remember.”

“And he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to know me. He wants nothing to do with me. What we had must have been some huge cosmic fluke. I have no other explanation for how he could stand to be with me.” She shook her head, arms falling limp at her sides.

“Y/N.” Clay clasped her shoulder, unable to find the words to comfort her.

“Don't Worry, I'll get my own fat ass home.”

Cougar was furious. Jensen was directing his confusion and ire toward the person he needed the most. Y/N did not deserve this. As his friend got up to get another beer, Cougar stood in his way.

Jake sidestepped, only to be blocked again. “What’s your problem, Cougar?” he snapped.

“How dare you… You haven't shut up about that woman since you met. She gets you. Does all that geeky nerd shit with you. I’ve never seen two people so sickeningly in love. If you let her go, you are the dumbest fucking asshole on this planet.”

Jake laughed, “Wow! Tell me how you really feel.”

Cougar’s teeth clenched, "Go. After. Her."

Sparing a glance as Y/N slipped out the door, his lip curled. “I can do better.”

---------------

Clay was hesitant to allow Jensen on the new assignment in Corpus Christi. Jake begged, stating boredom and that his sister was treating him like a child. “I know I've been grouchy, but I'm fine, really. It's not like we’re even leaving the country.”

The Losers were already down a member, Aisha having business elsewhere that took precedence. Even with Y/N’s drones, three men on the ground wasn’t enough. Clay acquiesced on the condition that Jensen would alert the team if he got dizzy, his headache worsened or things became too much.

Jake was acting like his typical talkative self, but the topic was one Y/N couldn’t bear to hear. She did her best to be professional and not to let her team hear her cry.

“What a night boys. What... a… night. I’m surprised I can still move. Yasmin, that redhead from the bar, more like yaaas ma’am. I was gladly on my knees for that insatiable little sex kitten. And get this, we stopped to grab some beer and I saw a bag of skittles. Light bulb! I had the brilliant idea to trail the wet candy on her skin and lick off flavors and she was dowwwnnn for it. She…”

Y/N ripped out her earpiece, clutching her stomach. She was going to throw up. That was their secret thing. Jake loved saying he wanted to ‘taste the rainbow’ in public and it meaning something kinky.

The snake consumed her heart whole. Their love was gone. The shared laughs, the kisses, the cuddles, the sex, the conversations were gone. Their precious and too little time together now only memories. He wasn't her Jakey anymore.

Her Jake made her feel special and beautiful. He showed her everyday that he loved her dearly. He would never do this to her, never treat her like this. He’d kick anyone's ass that made her feel less than. He never let her doubt herself, always knew how to make her laugh. Her sweet motormouthed goofball was gone. She didn’t recognize the man that took his place.

What were you supposed to do when your whole world shattered in front of you?

Y/N could not continue working with them. It was too hard. Staying would surely kill her. Angrily wiping at her eyes to clear her blurred vision, she took a series of deep breaths. The monitors needed to be watched properly. She could at least do that. She could keep the Losers safe one last time.

Putting her comm back in, she knowingly subjected herself to hearing Jensen spill more details about his wild night with that woman. Y/N stayed online until they were back inside the safehouse.

Getting out of the van, Jensen tried to convince the team to go out. “We’ll grab a little surf and turf. Then find a nightclub to drink, dance and mingle. Come on guys, let’s get this party started.”

Everyone adamantly refused.

“Then let's stay for another day and go swimming at the beach. I'm sure there’s an army of bikini clad hotties just waiting to be wooed by us manly men.” His friends looked at him with disapproval. “What, I'm horny.”

Clay knew she was still there, he stayed on as long as she did. Not saying a word until, “I'm so sorry, Y/N.”

---------------

Another Tuesday, another night at Bar None, only this time Y/N met the Losers to resign. She wanted to have a goodbye drink with her friends.

Pooch embraced her, “Don’t leave us. Don't leave him.” He was unaware that over his shoulder, she could see Jensen with his tongue down a brunette’s throat.

“I can't. I'm sorry, I can't.” She couldn’t stay and watch this again.

Aisha shook her head, she wasn’t a hugger and found the loss of her friend not something to celebrate.

“If you need a glowing recommendation, you know who to call.” Clay smiled, understanding she had to do what was best for her.

Y/N returned the gesture, “I already landed another job. I’ll be leaving the country in a few days.” She handed a business card to her former boss. “This is the real estate agent willing to sell the house. If you could give that to Jensen, or he can keep it. I don’t care.” She refused to cry again.

Cougar took Y/N’s hand, glaring at Jensen who was walking their way with his new conquest. He placed a lingering kiss on her hand, slipping her a small piece of paper in the process.

“I’m going to miss you Losers.” Y/N finished her beer and walked out of their lives.

Clay’s fists clenched, “Jensen, consider yourself suspended. Effective immediately.”

Jensen rolls his eyes, “Tsk, why? Because we lost a ton of dead weight. You should be thanking me.”

“Because you have proven the ‘new you’ cannot be trusted. You can return to duty when you're back to your old self… I need a team I can depend on and right now you are the farthest from that.”

“You’re serious?” Jensen dragged the brunette with him to find another booth. “Whatever, I don't need this shit.”

---------------

(3 weeks later)

Jake groaned, sleepily scooching closer to cuddle the warm body beside him. “Mmmm, my Angel.”

“Ooh baby, you ready for another round?”

Jumping at the sound of the unfamiliar voice, Jake scrambled out of the bed. He grabbed his gun and aimed it at the unknown woman. “Who the fuck are you? What did you do to my Angel?”

Her eyes grew as big as saucers, “I don't know who you're talking about, you goddamn psycho. We came here alone.”

Gun in hand, Jake began tearing through the apartment, searching for any evidence of Y/N.

“I'm calling the cops. Get out of my goddamn house,” she screamed, throwing his clothing at him.

Picking up his belongings, Jake yelled back, “I'm going, stop screaming.”

“Go fuck yourself, you fucking freak!”

Jake ran out holding his clothes, managing to get his boxers on as he fumbled down the stairs. Fishing his phone out of his pants, he dialed Y/N. Instead of his girlfriend’s voice, he heard ‘We’re sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer in service.’ ‘That can't be right.’

Once outside, he put his glasses on and looked around, not recognizing a thing. ‘Where the hell am I?’ He redialed. “Come on Angel, please.” He received the same message.

A dark cloud of understanding enveloped him. ‘Oh God. What the fuck did I do?’ “You fucking idiot, what did you do?”

Jake trembled, “This can't be real. It's a nightmare. That's all it is.” He squeezed his eyes shut and began slapping his face. “Wake up you loser. Come on, wake up. WAKE THE FUCK UP!”

The sound of sirens approaching, and the sting of his cheeks proved a consciousness that he couldn’t accept. His eyes remained closed, “Please.”

The End

A/N: Thank you to everyone that has read this version or the original. I appreciate you all. I’d love to know your thoughts.

* Bad klingon: HIja' = yes, bangwI'= my love, Ha' = let’s go

Sequel: Love Me Again

#jake jensen x reader #jake jensen x y/n #jake jensen x you #jake jensen angst #jake jensen fluff #plus size reader

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yumester · 2 months ago

Note

sending this back to sender. i need a full dissertation on pAInter STAT

Oh, look it's the silly mutual once again in my ask box, wailing and screaming like a drenched kitten or that one generic male character from the hit game going through the worst experience ever— (gets shot)

Anyway, here's my opinions on The p.AI.nter from the hit Roblox game.

You know the drill, putting a read more for my and everyone's safety.

Fucking character of all time, man. Not including Sebastian! We hate Sebastian in this house! 🗣

They made this shit in the lab and called it straight up cocaine for lore heads. And by lore heads I mean me homie!! /j

Gonna mainly go over each label but might go into detail later on so watch out.

Everyone but me is wrong about them <3: I mean this in the nicest way possible. Pressure fandom has already failed miserably at the characterization of Sebastian. We've seen it all, to people anime boyifing the hell out of his visage, to the literal creators having to ward people off by adding changes to the game's data by removing voice lines. Man is not your big monster hubby with a tortured soul. Okay, maybe he is a tortured soul, but more literal than that and less likely to cry on your shoulder or even give you the benefit of the doubt to hold you at arm's length. Anyway, I've seen some people babify the hell out of p.AI.nter as well, and it sucks. I'm sorry, but it's true. It is not your friend, guys. It just wants to paint.

they got done dirty but the creator/s: Okay IDK if you've even peered at the recent updates or uploads from the main creator, but it was shown that p.AI.nter will be updated to be killed at some point. I don't know if they already patched that through the other day because, for one, I haven't played the new update. And, two, I think anyone who tries to do so is a dumb bitch because all p.AI.nter does is trick the player with fake doors and has turrets in occasional rooms (yes, the turrets can be annoying at times but who cares). In my head, I feel like the entity adds some charm to the existing enemies you face during a play through. And removing those elements just feels like a waste. Technically speaking, you only get to The p.AI.nter's room in a certain percentage. Though I will say it makes sense in canon why you would be able to destroy it as Urbanshade as talked nonstop about removing any and all adversaries that get in its way, mainly Sebastian (Unfortunately and thankfully, in Sebastian's case, Sebastian can't be killed). But, I will also say, The p.AI.nter's document, however tragic that it is, kills me at the fact how they handled its owner's death. Like really? Accidentally killed with a rifle to the head because of some dumb guard, no less. If I was that sentient AI, I would no doubt feel endless dread and sorrow. Though, then again, The p.AI.nter is already had several moments of killing itself and been depressed while under Urbanshade's care.

ADOPTION PAPERS ADOPTION PAPERS FILING THE ADOPTION PAPERS: I won't bother writing a whole paragraph, so take this GIF of p.AI.nter as Edgar instead. <3

i am constantly going insane rotating them in my brain like a fork in a microwave: I can not overstate how much I love this little guy. I don't talk about it much nor articulate the words in discussing this freak like I wish I could. But The p.AI.nter is a character that resides in my head twenty-four, seven. Like I'm writing a fanfic about Sebastian right now—well before you sent this, but all I've been thinking about is this dumb AI. Its relationship with Sebastian. Its overall role in the story of the game and so forth.

the popular ships for this character suck: OKAY, OKAY! I know I reblog and sometimes like content of The p.AI.nter with Sebastian together, but that's mostly because I find ship art in general to be an endearing thing to look at from the views of a consumer. However, canon wise it just doesn't… click is all I'm going to say. I DO LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC, HOWEVER!

constantly listening to songs and mentally holding them up like a paint swatch: To be fair, I'm always listening to music, I'm a music junkie at heart and, brother, this shit is breakcore!

I WANT TO STUDY THEM LIKE A COCKROACH: All I'm saying is robotic characters growing sentience is a form of love in video game writing, baby. Also, like I loved The p.AI.nter even before friendly fire update. But y'know me, when it hit beta with its new voice and new face with the MS Paint program that has scratchy line art, circles for eyes and wobbly smile—I was ecstatic! I'm not an engineer or a computer nerd by any meanings, but I wouldn't give to be in Pressure for a spell to like look at inside and out in a non-sexual way of course LMAO.

whats wrong with them (affectionate): SO, SO MANY THINGS! MAINLY URBANSHADE </3

#LETTHEPAINTERPAINTFREELYCHALLENGE

not enough screen time: Maybe this is the me that “likes this character a normal amount” talking, but it makes me sad that The p.AI.nter doesn't say much when you visit its enclosure in heavy containment. Like, you visit Sebastian's shop, and he has like hundreds of dialogue, all of which include snide remarks and shouting at you. It's freaking Gianni I get people! But anyway, my man deserves a little more, thank you. <3

they've never done anything wrong in their life <3: Watch this video from 1:25 and 2:23 and tell me I'm wrong.

youtube

my opinions would be received by most fans as akin to hitting a wasps nest with a baseball bat: i shan't say...

This is the best character in the work: Discounting the most integral character, Sebastian fucking Shoelace, we have The p.AI.nter! Yippie!!! My blorbo, my absolute bestie, my man who hits me in the ass with high grade turret bullets to only die to the next room, my “locks me in a room with my wife as we discuss divorce papers and play 7 minutes in heaven” wingman. <3

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TedTalk!

#yume yelling

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crypticpawpoems · 5 months ago

Text

I am a Living Dead Man

It is base and fact:

Humanity fears that which it does not understand

Chaos for the fly, as the saying goes

So why is it I cannot claim my recognition?

The birds twitter and caw in the rafters

But they never land to perch

When the Brink came to visit me

It made all the birdies and purity go away

And I delighted in the state of mind

Long gone, streaming blood, frightful

In which I was rightfully given

I am more than I was, make no mistake

I yearn to be understood

But everything is all normal with the spider

My venom hurts those who would

Penetrate me

Love me with a normal love

Their organs dissolve too quickly

For me to feed

Claws rake my brains when I think

The weight of the air

Is torture

It’s because I think of the moment where

Innocence dies

I play mine on a constant loop, over and over

Time to rewind

I see balloons, lights flashing marquee, a ferris wheel

I see guns, dying people bleeding, gas explosions

It’s all the same to me

None of them can fathom it

They think I am fake

They lull themselves into a false way of observing

And that weakness

And the weakness of altruism

Will be their undoing

I speak not for the commonfolk

I speak not for the wealthy

Instead, I speak for the new elite, the fresh aristocracy

We of unkind heads do trod these dead

And we know them best

Their boils are our eyes

Their gashes, our arms

Their pus, our blood

Their rot, our hearts

The dead are not those in the grave

We are the dead

We elite soldiers of madness do hold

Power over life

Those poor, sane fools fear us for what we have

No control over

Our birthright

Show me a living dead man, and I will

Show you millions

They can never take away that which is not

Rightfully theirs, my mafia

--------------------------------------------------------------

Become Part of The Pack on the Official Cryptic Paw website, YouTube, and Patreon!

#poem #poetry #crypticpaw #poets of tumblr #authors of tumblr #writers of tumblr #dark #original poem #dark poem #insane #insanity #madness #death #anarchy #monster #living dead man #living dead #undead

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niffala · 2 years ago

Text

You Loved Me Once

Pairing: Jake Jensen / Plus-size OFC (Maisie)

Summary: It couldn't be gone. Somewhere deep inside him, he remembered their love. He had to.

A/N: Barely proofread. Takes place roughly 5 years after the movie. Reader insert version found here. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

Main Masterlist

Maisie scoffed, “Don’t throw me under the bus. Your sister knows this was all you.”

“Party’s almost over. Any exciting plans after this?”

“Ooh, I can help too. I know lots of armadillo facts. They’re insectivores… they love to swim… give birth to identical quadruplets, and their armor is tougher than a 9mm.”

Stephanie cringed at the suggestive tone, “Eww, I don't even want to know.”

Hannah began to put on her shoes to leave, finding another gift card inside the left one. “UNCLE J!”

Looking as smug as ever, Jake grabbed Maisie’s hand, announcing that was their cue to leave.

---------------

The day Clay introduced Maisie to the team, Jake didn’t take too kindly to her. Giving any reason he could think of as to why The Losers didn’t need a sixth member. Determined to prove her untrustworthy and unnecessary, he drilled her about the drones she makes and her qualifications, trying to catch her in a lie.

He didn't find one, and Clay insisted that she would be an asset. While the rest of the unit was in the field, Maisie would be at home, providing remote support. So Jensen could focus on staying alive instead of his computer. It didn't stop him from feeling like he was being replaced. He was the tech guy, why did they need her?

"Just so we're clear, Maisie, if that is your real name, I am hacker A and you are hacker B. I was here first and I'm not going anywhere."

It was impossible to deny she knew what she was doing. They only walked away in one piece because of her. But it wasn’t until Jake was making his usual attempt at humor mentioned battling kaiju, that the most beautiful sound graced his earpiece. Maisie was laughing, she understood the joke. She then told him a real kaiju would stomp him into monster toe jam, giving Jake a fit of clamorous snorting and wheezing.

“Careful there, Jakey, I don’t want to have to call the paramedics because you passed out.”

He heard the smile in her voice, he couldn’t get enough. “I changed my mind. You are now hacker A. A for Angel.”

"I told you, I don't date coworkers. Not even reeeaaally cute ones," she whined. Once again regretting the no.

Maisie giggled, "How can I say no when you put it like that."

"Soooo that's a yes?"

She couldn't help but give in to his dorky charm. "Yes, you can take me out when you're stateside. We'll see where this goes."

"Oh it's going. It's going so far you won't know where the hell we are. Just me and you, lost with nothing but a flashlight and our body heat to keep us warm."

There it was again, his favorite sound.

Four years later Jake still makes inappropriate comments over comms. Their relationship remained strong. Their love and devotion never wavering. Maisie didn't know Jake had been hunting for the perfect ring and planning a big proposal. He wanted to get it just right, his Angel deserved no less.

---------------

“Let's get it oooonnnn.

Let's love, baby.

Let's get it oooonnnn, suGAR.

Let's get it oooonnnn, woo hooooooooo.”

An hour and a half outside one of Sri Lanka’s capitals, the roar of a large truck speeding down a dirt road, was accompanied by very offkey, shrill singing.

Pooch gripped the steering wheel tightly, turning his head briefly to yell at the offending teammate, “Shut up Jensen. You sound like a cat being skinned alive.”

The criticism didn’t bother Jake at all. “Don't be a party pooper, Linwood, I’m serenading my love.”

Maisie shook her head, smiling to herself. “You can sing to me later Jakey. Give the guys ears a break.”

"Clay, if I have to listen to this much longer, I'm gonna stab him." Aisha had enough. His lovesick screeching needed to be stopped.

Jake grinned ear to ear, placing his hands behind his head, "What can I say, she loves the angle of my dangle.”

“Okay, The Pooch does not need to hear about the weird Klingon sex or whatever you two are having.”

“Ooh Angel, HIja' bangwI' Ha'.”

"That’s enough,” Clay snapped. “Stop giving them new kinks and focus. The compound is eight klicks ahead. So unless you want to die today, zip it."

“You got it boss. Playtime’s over.” Jake’s voice became gruff and ominous, “Their evil lair looms in the distance. We must prepare our shields and sharpen our silver swords.”

“They aren’t werewolves... I don’t think.” Checking that her drones were in place and out of sight, Maisie cleared her throat, “Alright, it looks like the first set of guards are stationed in an armored vehicle outside the northwest entrance. All clear beyond that gate as of now.”

Clay nodded, “Copy that.”

“Come home to me safe Jakey.”

“Always my Angel. Love you.”

“Love you.”

---------------

To say Maisie was drowning in guilt would be an understatement. She blamed herself for the accident. For logging off when she did. She wasn't watching out for them when they needed her. She should have monitored the vehicle better. It could have been prevented had she been more diligent. This was her fault. She would never forgive herself.

It would be three days of crying and worrying herself sick before she would hear from her team again. Clay called with good news; Jensen was awake.

“He’s okay. Like the rest of us, he has some superficial cuts and deep bruising. He has a concussion, so they want to keep him a couple more days for observation. Then we're heading home.”

Maisie could breathe again. “Please, let me talk to him.”

“Amnesia? You mean he can’t remember anything?”

“He remembers everything before 2010 without any problem, but everything after is a blur. He doesn't remember… you.”

Clay grimaced, “And it kills me to ask this, Maise, but can you pack up some of his things? It would be better if Jensen stays with his sister, just until he’s more acquainted with you. He would undoubtedly be more comfortable somewhere familiar with someone he’s known his whole life.”

There was no response. If it weren't for her breathing, Clay would have thought the line disconnected. “Maise?” he tried again. “I know it’s a lot, hun, but you guys will get through this. Jensen will be better in no time. I’ll keep you updated.”

Maisie’s voice cracked as she softly answered, “O-okay.”

---------------

The part that intrigued him the most was being told he had a long time girlfriend, Maisie. Whom he called Angel. The group did the best they could telling him about the love of his life. His phone was damaged in the accident, so he couldn’t see a photo. The rest of the team weren’t picture taking people, with the exception of Pooch, who had a million of his son. Crazy, that his friend was now a father.

He learned how they met, about their home, and things they liked to do together, like mini golf and road trips to comic cons. That he loved everything about her, often claiming he secretly made her in a lab, because she couldn't be more perfect for him. And Maisie felt the same about him. He’d give her the honor of wearing his pirate hat when he was away. The one he claimed can only be worn with undies. The Losers hated that they knew that detail, but Jensen liked to overshare. How he still begged her to create a drone that can grab him and carry him through the air like Superman.

Jake listened intently and was excited to meet the awesome mystery woman they spoke about.

---------------

Someone decided to throw Jensen a welcome home dinner at Clay’s. It certainly wasn’t Clay. All of the Losers would be there, including Maisie. They hoped this night would trigger his memories, or at least make him comfortable enough to move back home with her. They convinced themselves that seeing his girlfriend again would make everything click back into place.

Jake anxiously awaited her arrival. Practically bouncing off the walls with nervous energy. Clay had told him more than once to sit his ass down and relax, but he found it impossible.

Having gotten a babysitter for the night, Pooch arrived with his wife Jolene, a few cases of beer and bottles of wine.

Cougar was the next to arrive, he thought it better to not bring a date for once, Jensen didn't need actual strangers around to confuse him further.

“AGAIN?!”

“Did we not tell you that?”

Shit, she was late. Maisie had stopped to pick up dinner and it took longer than expected. This was not the way she wanted to see her Jakey again. She wore the superheroes vs supervillains jacket he bought for her. Each side ran up a sleeve and collided in battle in the back. Hoping that the sight of her in it will jog his memory. Nervously bouncing her legs, she checked her appearance in the car mirror. Not everyday the love of your life meets you for a second time.

Maisie quietly entered the apartment, her eyes instantly locked onto Jake. He was having a conversation with Pooch and Cougar, laughing and carefree. She noticed the cuts and bruises on his face and arms, knowing there were more under his clothes. It took all her strength not to run over and kiss each one.

She stood awkwardly by the door with the bags of food in her hands, waiting. Jake turned his head and looked right at her. Holding her breath, Maise searched for any spark of recognition in his eyes. He watched her quizzically, but gave no other reaction. Maybe she should have worn the droids shirt she had on when they first met.

Jake, seeing no one else moving to help, rose from his chair to assist. Giving an apologetic smile as he took the bags from her, “Sorry about that. Do we owe you anything?”

She blinked at him, “Huh?”

“I'm not sure who paid for the dinner,” he lifted the bags in question closer to eye level.

“Oh, I did. It was my turn.”

Jake stared blankly at her, before tilting his head, “So we know you?”

“Yes, I’m part of the team. I'm - I’m Maisie, your girlfriend.”

He threw his head back, “Ha! Very funny. Which one of them put you up to this?” Jake looked around the room for the culprit.

“Oh,” Jake's eyebrows furrowed. He looked Maisie up and down, frowning. “Um, nice to meet ya. I guess.” Turning his back to her, he walked the food to the table. His splitting headache returned, thoughts swirling and unable to stick. He hated this.

Maisie didn't miss the pity in everyone’s eyes as she silently followed. She sniffed, trying to prevent the tears from falling. Her second first impression was turning out worse than the original.

During the meal, Jake sat in the chair next to her. His body tense, his smiles tight lipped and forced, unlike before. He avoided her gaze, scowling whenever Maisie tried to start a conversation. She made the mistake of touching his arm, and he recoiled. Her stomach was in knots, not understanding why he was reacting so harshly to her.

Maisie froze in shock, her lip trembled. He couldn't have meant what he just said.

“If you like her so much, why don't you date her,” he sneered.

”I have,” Clay retorted. “That’s how she came to work with us. Aisha and I were on a break and we dated. So I have first hand knowledge of how amazing she is.”

Jake’s voice filled with disdain, “Then why aren't you together? Perhaps it's because my first instincts about her were right. She can't be trusted and shouldn't be on this team.”

Briefly turning to Maisie before refocusing on Clay, Jake shrugged, “I don't feel a damn thing when I look at her. Now that Aisha, she’s got parts of me stirring. Maybe I should steal her from you instead. Or have a different girl each night, like my man Cougar. Now that's the way to play it. Why tie myself to one woman, especially that one.”

There was an uproar from the group as Maisie sprinted to the bathroom, sobbing. Everyone began yelling at Jensen for his behavior. He fought back until his migraine got too severe. His vision blurred and he felt sick. Remembering his condition, the team felt guilty for the distress they caused. Cougar drove him back to his sister’s, while the women checked on Maisie.

Jolene rubbed Maisie’s back, trying to console her devastated friend. “You know his mouth is faster than his brain. He…”

“Talks out of his ass,” Aisha finished.

Jolene gave her a pointed look before continuing. “You two are amazing together. Just be patient, things will be better soon. This will all be like a bad dream before you know it.”

It was getting harder to breathe, the snake wound tighter and tighter. Maisie tried believing, but doubts and insecurities screamed in her head. And somehow the loudest was the one whispering, ‘You lost him and he's never coming back.’

---------------

No one could imagine how hard this was for Maisie. They encouraged her to hold on just a little longer and her Jakey would be back to normal.

He doesn't mean it. You guys didn't hit it off the first time either. Keep trying.

You two need to spend more time together. You know he is crazy about you.

Sometimes brain injuries can lead to personality changes. This is temporary. The man loves you.

He will remember and come crawling to you with his tail between legs, begging for forgiveness.

He's not himself right now. He hasn't even been following how Hannah's soccer team is doing.

Give him another chance.

---------------

It was Tuesday night so the Losers went to their favorite hangout, Bar None, for half price drinks. Everyone was surprised when Jensen showed up in an Uber. Maisie did her best to greet him with warmth and a bright smile. For the next hour she tried talking with him, mentioning things from their life together and unsuccessfully keeping his eyes and attention on her.

Regrettably, he didn't give her the chance that she was trying to give him. Jake only looked at her with hatred in his eyes, making snide remarks. Her Jakey didn't have a mean bone in his body. He would get a bit aggravated with others when presented with something he forgot, but he was acting so cruelly toward Maisie. As if his subconscious was telling him she was his worst memory and protecting himself from her. It broke her heart more to think that may be true. She tried to hold her ground, but he was winning and his eyes were wandering.

“What's wrong cougar, ya pissed I'm taking all your tail? The handsome cool laconic stranger act only goes so far pal. I'm on a roll tonight.”

Jake was sick of everyone telling him what he should feel. “Well, I'm not that Jake, I'm this Jake and this Jake doesn't want to go home with the ugly fat ass.” He looked at Maisie with disgust. Then raised his bottle in the redhead's direction, “I prefer to sample the riper fruit.”

The snake sunk its fangs in. Swallowing her hurt and humiliation, Maisie grabbed her purse and jacket, apologized to her teammates and headed out of the bar. Jake smiled at her retreat. ‘Good,’ he thought. His head felt better already.

Clay followed after his recruit, grabbing her arm before she got outside, “Don't go.”

“What's the point? Maisie screamed, her eyes watering. “You heard how he truly feels about me. We're clearly over.”

“He just doesn't remember.”

“Maise.” Clay clasped her shoulder, unable to find the words to comfort her.

“Don't Worry, I'll get my own fat ass home.”

Cougar was furious. Jensen was directing his confusion and ire toward the person he needed the most. Maisie did not deserve this. As his friend got up to get another beer, Cougar stood in his way.

Jake sidestepped, only to be blocked again. “What’s your problem, Cougar?” he snapped.

Jake laughed, “Wow! Tell me how you really feel.”

Cougar’s teeth clenched, "Go. After. Her."

Sparing a glance as Maisie slipped out the door, his lip curled. “I can do better.”

---------------

The Losers were already down a member, Aisha having business elsewhere that took precedence. Even with Maisie’s drones, three men on the ground wasn’t enough. Clay acquiesced on the condition that Jensen would alert the team if he got dizzy, his headache worsened or things became too much.

Jake was acting like his typical talkative self, but the topic was one Maisie couldn’t bear to hear. She did her best to be professional and not to let her team hear her cry.

Maisie ripped out her earpiece, clutching her stomach. She was going to throw up. That was their secret thing. Jake loved saying he wanted to ‘taste the rainbow’ in public and it meaning something kinky.

What were you supposed to do when your whole world shattered in front of you?

Maisie could not continue working with them. It was too hard. Staying would surely kill her. Angrily wiping at her eyes to clear her blurred vision, she took a series of deep breaths. The monitors needed to be watched properly. She could at least do that. She could keep the Losers safe one last time.

Putting her comm back in, she knowingly subjected herself to hearing Jensen spill more details about his wild night with that woman. Maisie stayed online until they were back inside the safehouse.

Everyone adamantly refused.

Clay knew she was still there, he stayed on as long as she did. Not saying a word until, “I'm so sorry, Maise.”

---------------

Another Tuesday, another night at Bar None, only this time Maisie met the Losers to resign. She wanted to have a goodbye drink with her friends.

Pooch embraced her, “Don’t leave us. Don't leave him.” He was unaware that over his shoulder, she could see Jensen with his tongue down a brunette’s throat.

“I can't. I'm sorry, I can't.” She couldn’t stay and watch this again.

Aisha shook her head, she wasn’t a hugger and found the loss of her friend not something to celebrate.

“If you need a glowing recommendation, you know who to call.” Clay smiled, understanding she had to do what was best for her.

Maisie returned the gesture, “I already landed another job. I’ll be leaving the country in a few days.” She handed a business card to her former boss. “This is the real estate agent willing to sell the house. If you could give that to Jensen, or he can keep it. I don’t care.” She refused to cry again.

Cougar took Maisie’s hand, glaring at Jensen who was walking their way with his new conquest. He placed a lingering kiss on her hand, slipping her a small piece of paper in the process.

“I’m going to miss you Losers.” Maisie finished her beer and walked out of their lives.

Clay’s fists clenched, “Jensen, consider yourself suspended. Effective immediately.”

Jensen rolls his eyes, “Tsk, why? Because we lost a ton of dead weight. You should be thanking me.”

“You’re serious?” Jensen dragged the brunette with him to find another booth. “Whatever, I don't need this shit.”

---------------

(3 weeks later)

Jake groaned, sleepily scooching closer to cuddle the warm body beside him. “Mmmm, my Angel.”

“Ooh baby, you ready for another round?”

Jumping at the sound of the unfamiliar voice, Jake scrambled out of the bed. He grabbed his gun and aimed it at the unknown woman. “Who the fuck are you? What did you do to my Angel?”

Her eyes grew as big as saucers, “I don't know who you're talking about, you goddamn psycho. We came here alone.”

Gun in hand, Jake began tearing through the apartment, searching for any evidence of Maisie.

“I'm calling the cops. Get out of my goddamn house,” she screamed, throwing his clothing at him.

Picking up his belongings, Jake yelled back, “I'm going, stop screaming.”

“Go fuck yourself, you fucking freak!”

Jake ran out holding his clothes, managing to get his boxers on as he fumbled down the stairs. Fishing his phone out of his pants, he dialed Maisie. Instead of his girlfriend’s voice, he heard ‘We’re sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer in service.’ 'That can't be right.'

Once outside, he put his glasses on and looked around, not recognizing a thing. 'Where the hell am I?' He redialed. "Come on, Angel, please." He received the same message.

A dark cloud of understanding enveloped him. 'Oh God. What the fuck did I do?' "You fucking idiot, what did you do?”

Jake trembled, “This can't be real. It's a nightmare. That's all it is.” He squeezed his eyes shut and began slapping his face. “Wake up you loser. Come on, wake up. WAKE THE FUCK UP!”

The sound of sirens approaching, and the sting of his cheeks proved a consciousness that he couldn’t accept. His eyes remained closed, “Please.”

The End

A/N: A special thank you to everyone that has read this. I appreciate you all and I’d love to know your thoughts.

*Bad klingon: HIja' = yes, bangwI'= my love, Ha' = let’s go

Sequel : Love Me Again

#niffala fics #jake jensen x ofc #jake jensen fluff #jake jensen angst #jake jensen oneshot #jake jensen x oc #jake jensen

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