#the fake DID trend is so fucking dumb

[froznwater]

post WT Alenaoh drabble

Alejandro wins World Tour and now not only does his family treat him poorly, but so does the rest of the world. Even Heather gets her bit of redemption after being "used by the evil Alejandro." But none of the shows fans like him. They can admit he was smart, yes, but ultimately someone able to play with that many peoples hearts is not a good person. Twitter trends with phrases like 'rigged', 'not my tdw', and 'slippery eel' for weeks after his victory. His phone number gets leaked, bombarded with hateful messages, and his car gets keyed during the ten minutes he takes to run into his local mall to pick up a gift for his mother on her birthday. Tiktok makes 'plot twist' edits of him. Where it begins with him, but ultimately switches to another of his precious peers after they "shut him down" and the entire concept is just one big fuck Alejandro party in the comments. Hundreds- thousands of greasy idiots belittling him for their enjoyment. He doesn't even post on Instagram anymore. Too pussy to entirely turn off the comments and let the world think they've won, he just buries the app deep in a folder and leaves it untouched. Eel. Fake. Bop. I'm doing it, are you? How many letters in Alejandro? Is that oil I see? Noah = 8.

Some people even show up at his house. His father hires bodyguards and demands the police to patrol the area, but blames Alejandro for all of it. This is all your fault. You were too careless. You should have done this. You shouldn't have done this. Look, this person figured you out. Why did you say this? That was dumb. Jose would have done better. He WON, didn't he? ...Didn't he? But college starts in two months, so he rides it out as much as he can. College sucks. Everyone stares, but no one approaches unless it's some dickhead-sexist loser clapping him on the back with enough gusto that really re-whacks the reality into him every time. He's met with "Aren't you that asshole that won Total Drama World Tour a couple months ago?" any time he tries to make some friends. None of the cast reach out. It stings, but Alejandro gets it. He's not wanted. Within three weeks, he's moves to the middle of fucking no where with his cat and enrolls in as many online classes that his new mediocre college will allow. - Noah, praised for his intelligence and funny one-liners over his course of 15 minutes of screen-time, is the fan-favourite. Officially. Voted through the after-season special reunion. Even though he never made it far. In the beginning it's vaguely funny, karmatic. Him. Noah. The unlike-able "schemer." Is the one that fans edit on tiktok and quote on Twitter. After a (short)while it's annoying. He can't get his coffee before class without posing(or declining to do so) for at least two instagram photos. He can't scroll Twitter without seeing someone referencing him in the replies. "Giving slippery eel." "It's all down here from here, honey."

Even his nickname for Owen is used to fatshame people everywhere. "Lunchbox." Is commented under anyone over 100 pounds. It puts a foul taste in Noah's mouth that makes him lock his phone and touch fucking grass every time. Tiktok clips of him go viral. So not only does a lot of America know him, most of it does, as well as other parts of the big wide world. It sucks. The studio won't let it die either. They sell merch of his face. Of his sweater vest with the inbuilt button-up. Of his face on a gay flag(which the fans use as confirmation in his sexuality after demanding so from him for months and getting no answer.(He isn't even gay.)) Of his last insult to Alejandro. And, really, who actually won that fight? Noah, bisexual gay icon, who signed away all his rights to merch pay-cut? Or the man and his million dollars that hasn't been seen or heard from in three months? With love and admiration comes hate. It's piling up more and more. And the more people blindly defend him the more people that come out with their "I'm going to be honest. I didn't care for Noah from Total Drama." And Noah can deal with hate. Honestly, he can deal with it better than he can with love and people genuinely liking him. But he's seen the pattern. He knows where this is going. He goes on a few interviews he never accepted before, gets a new phone number, deletes all his social media, applies to a new college with a student count of 2,000, and retires his red sweaters.

Fuck the internet.

- You'll never guess who he sees.

[f1daydreamers]

𝐀 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨 [𝐋𝐒𝟏𝟖] 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟖

photo credits: Pinterest

Pairing: Lance Stroll × Fem!Reader

Summary: Asking the driver of the team you work for to attend a wedding with you as your fake date is possibly one of the dumbest ideas you've had ever.. but also one of the best.

Warnings: angst, Reader being very torn, lots of obliviousness, fluff, emosh, implies smut but none of it, little bit of back and forth but issa good ending ofc :')

Word Count: 4.1k words (15 mins reading time avg)

…

"What is it?"

Tom crosses his arms over his chest, glancing back at Lance and eyeing him suspiciously through the car door window.

He's occupied with his phone but his foot is tapping impatiently against the floor mat in the car.

"Now would be a great time to spit it out," you regain his attention through gritted teeth. Your patience was wearing thin, you had somewhere to be and your ex was holding you up frustratingly slowly.

He lets out a sigh, his eyes darting over your face. He seems on edge.

"I was on Instagram yesterday," his gaze fell to the concrete pavement underfoot and you shrug.

"Congratulations." You retort sarcastically and Tom brings one foot forward towards you, "did you really think nothing was going to come of it?"

You furrow your brows, "come out of what?"

He tuts, finding your stubbornness to read between the lines all the more familiar from when you used to date.

"You and Lance on a 'romantic getaway', maybe you've fooled everyone else but you haven't fooled the press." He air-quoted with his fingers and you felt like the wind had knocked the breath out of your lungs.

"I-I don't see your point." You raise a subconscious barrier, certainly overcome with the realisation that agreeing to speak to him was a big mistake.

Your jaw clenches and you resist the urge to look around you, as if you were going to find a camera blinking back.

"It got online, Y/N. Started from Daisy's Instagram story to the most trending topic on Twitter." He explains, with a level of smugness in his voice that you can't help squinting your eyes at.

He caught you in a lie, but right now, that was the least of your worries.

Fists form by your sides and panic begins settling into your chest. "And how did it get on Twitter in the first place?" The distaste in your tone when you bit back was surely evident.

Bit by bit, you start to feel a sense of chaos enveloping you, like you've somehow misplaced the capacity to hold everything together.

He shrugs mutely but the quirk of his lip makes you think he had a bigger part to play in this fuck-up disguised as a Monday morning.

As your gaze falls, you avoid meeting his eyes again, even when he nudges your arm to recover your waning attention. Detached, you're occupied in crafting a plan to get through the remaining six hours you have left with Lance.

Once that time is up, you'll be free from any scrutiny, whether it be from the media or your family, and finally be done with him.

With all of this.

...

You shouldn't have been so disengaged but you couldn't help it, your thumb endlessly scrolling through Twitter, confirming what Tom had been telling you earlier.

You'd seen only one or two tweets unrelated to the topic since you opened the app a few minutes ago.

You swallow, locking your phone and looking up from your lap. You try to involve yourself in your siblings' conversation but fail miserably, your wandering mind not allowing you to do such a thing as ignore this mess.

Lance is laughing at a video Kevin is showing him, and you wonder if he's seen anything about it yet.

He'd been on his phone in the car after your conversation with your ex had ended, and the object had been with him ever since. You were at the very least surprised nobody had even messaged him yet.

Unless he was playing dumb.

"Y/N, what time you heading out?" Your mind is in a bit of a scramble when your mother perks up with a question, meeting her eyes, you can't help but stutter.

Lance steps in.

"8 o'clock. We're both heading back to the factory." You're grateful but he eyes you questionably, you've had tougher questions than that come at you this weekend.

He smiles at the irony but you don't return it, looking away.

His eyebrows knit together and he presumes whatever your ex had told you was what'd gotten you in a distant mood, he makes a mental note to ask you about it later.

You can feel his eyes trained on you until your brother whisks him away into another conversation.

...

The ride back home's quiet, with the radio airing fresh songs whose lyrics you're not entirely familiar with. However, their tunes are infectious, prompting your fingers to rhythmically tap along.

Lance fidgets with the leather material of the steering wheel, glancing at you every now and again.

After a while, he stretches his hand to the volume knob, reducing it. You sigh inwardly, knowing that he'd picked up on your subdued mood at breakfast, which meant the upcoming conversation was quite a predictable one.

"What did your ex want to tell you?" Lance asks, his voice curious. You press your lips together, absently twisting your cuff bangle around your wrist.

"Nothing." Perhaps if you avoided the topic for long enough, he'd drop it and choose to never touch on it again.

"You spoke for a while. He didn't say anything?" He persisted.

"Has Grace reached out to you?" You pivot away from his previous question by planting another in its place about the team's communications manager.

Lance seems confused as to why it's relevant to the conversation but answers nonetheless.

"Grace? No. Why would she?" You shake your head, not commenting further as you try to muster up a plan and the courage to tell him the truth.

You desperately hoped to avoid his anger, not wanting to sow any seeds of regret in his mind about joining you this weekend.

It's almost comical how rapidly things have unravelled since this morning.

As Lance parks a few feet away from your open driveway, you swiftly step out of the car, leaving him to catch up.

He manages to close the car door just as you round the gate, moving briskly to ascend the patio steps.

He jogs to try and keep with you, skipping the middle step and succeeding when his fingers wrap tightly around your wrist, keeping you from reaching into your bag for the house key.

"Y/N, what's bothering you?" He asks curtly.

Your jaw tightens, the conversation with your ex was replaying in your mind like a relentless torture, preventing you from forgetting it no matter how desperately you wanted to.

An uncertain feeling settles in the pit of your stomach, and you release a shaky breath, deciding to be straightforward.

"He said that-" Your words hang unfinished as you glance up at the front door swinging open. Your sister looks up from her phone, holding a plastic bottle in her other hand.

"Looks like you didn't manage to beat the traffic after all, huh?" She quips, tucking her phone into her jean pocket.

Her gaze shifts between the two of you, a hint of suspicion in her eyes, focusing momentarily on Lance's hand wrapped around your wrist.

He eases it, and Daisy casually tosses the plastic bottle into the recycling bin.

You offer an awkward smile. "Yeah, must be lunchtime at work," you explain. Daisy nods, stepping aside to allow you and Lance to pass before closing the door behind her.

"I'm going to get back to packing," you add, slipping off your flats and hopping onto the first step of the staircase.

You notice Daisy raising her finger at Lance, and you swiftly intervene, "Dais, he didn't do anything." You assert and she lowers her finger back to her side.

Despite being younger, she's remarkably swift to defend her siblings whenever necessary, often disregarding external opinions, even if those opinions are attempting to correct her misjudgement.

"Better not have," she mutters, giving Lance a once-over before heading off to the kitchen.

You release a sigh as the door creaks shut, avoiding his lingering gaze and resuming your retreat up to your bedroom to finish off packing your suitcase.

...

You delicately place your rings back into the small gaps amidst the cushions of the jewellery box, your throat tightening as the sound of Lance adjusting his gym bag reaches your ears from the distant corner of the room.

Silence hung between you both ever since he ascended the stairs a few minutes after you had entered your room.

Passing a hand through his hair, he looked up at you while you zipped up the jewellery box. You shifted to the opposite side of the bed, unlatching your closed suitcase then bending down to retrieve the laundry basket, placing it on to the bed with a gentle plop.

"Can you please talk to me? Tell me the truth or even tell me a lie, but just say something," he implores. Your shoulders slumping as you methodically fold your clean laundry into your suitcase, your actions momentarily faltering.

His voice carried a note of pleading, and your continued silence only reinforced the notion that something was wrong. It went beyond the subdued atmosphere during breakfast and the unrelated question in the car.

“The press knows, Lance.” You say firmly.

"What?" he responds, though he clearly heard every word.

You observe the shift in his expression, the gentleness giving way to a hardened look. Your words momentarily escape you, leaving you with an urge to resume folding, using it as a feeble distraction.

“What do you mean the press knows?” He says concisely and you shut your eyes, your gaze facing downward.

“About this, us, I don’t know.” your voice wavers as you try to explain..

“He told you that?” No name was mentioned but the contempt in his voice gives room for enough assumption to be made.

“Yes,” you confirm quietly.

“Of course he did.” He mutters under his breath but you hear it anyway. Your eyebrows knit together subtly, “what do you mean?”

He locks eyes with you, and if you said that the chill in his gaze didn't give you a slight shiver of intimidation, you'd be lying.

“What did I ask you when he showed up at the door? I asked you why you were still bothering with him?” He stresses breathily, overwhelmed by the situation.

“I told you it didn’t mean anything. I didn’t know this is what he’d tell me.” You counter.

“He probably had a part to play in it,” Lance assumes and you shake your head, “there’s nothing to gain. With Tom, it’s all talk. Going to the press just - it doesn’t make sense.”

“It doesn’t need to make sense, how is he conveniently the only one who knows about it?” He lowers his voice and you blink, averting your gaze. He had a point.

“I’ll talk to Grace, this’ll be fixed.” You try to assure him, picking your phone up from the bedside table.

“By doing what, telling everyone this was a lie?” He bristles and a twinge of pain overcomes your chest.

“Guess that was the whole point anyway.” he grinds out the last part of his sentence in a harsh whisper, his jaw clenching. You stiffen, his words carry a sting with them.

The realisation of the situation hits you, what he had mentioned to your mother about the challenges of maintaining a relationship in the public eye had practically come to fruition.

Though a relationship was far from what you had.

“This was all fake, wasn’t it?” you murmur, directing the question more towards yourself than the man standing before you.

"What?" He asks, having caught only a faint mumble escaping your lips. You shake your head, swallowing your words, focused on not letting them slip out again.

…

“Okay, yeah, we’re uh, we’re on our way soon.” You conclude the call, a small sense of relief washing over you after speaking to Grace.

She'd appeared relatively composed despite you having explained the situation to her in an undeniable panic.

You slide the phone face down on to the counter in the bathroom, leaning your head on the door, hoping that no one needed to relieve themselves in the next five minutes it would probably take for you to process your own thoughts.

You wince a touch as you recall the words that last fell from Lance’s mouth.

A lie was what it was, but it was strangely intense hearing it tumble from his lips.

Considering the feelings you only recently and barely had admitted to yourself and him, the weight of all of that felt as if it was coming down on you now.

But the bandage around your knee, the burden of responsibility, the dancing, the kisses, the way his gaze held you. Him. They all form as a defence argument inside your mind as you rattle through the weekend, it can't all have been fake.

You carelessly yearn for the weekend's routine – his presence, sharing laughter over the words he adopted from your uncle, the pushes into the swimming pool, the undeniable escalation of tension between you.

You realised it yesterday, though you never wanted to admit it. When his lips gravitated towards yours and his grip on your waist tightened, you realised.

You realised you’re in love with Lance Stroll. How irresponsible.

...

You quickly wipe away the tear sliding down your cheek, stealing a glance at the taxi driver who thankfully remained oblivious. You were a few minutes away from the factory, Grace emailed you this morning to call you in for a PR meeting but the topic of it was naturally foreseeable.

You hadn't yet managed to build up enough courage to text Lance, thank him for the days he wasted away to fabricate a relationship, despite it not lasting long. By the time you'd arrived back at your apartment, your sister had left you a few messages, screenshots of her Twitter feed.

She had reluctantly agreed not to inform your parents. The situation was already fraught with complexity, and having your parents involved would only make matters worse.

You offer a small, not overly enthusiastic smile as you step into the meeting room and catch sight of Lance, Grace, and the familiar members of the communications department all awaiting your arrival.

While Grace briefed everyone on the purpose of the meeting, the only faces that didn't register surprise were yours, hers, and his. You kept your gaze directed downward, fiddling with the rings on your fingers, your expression revealing nothing.

"Y/N, you mentioned you had something to share," Grace prompts, and you lift your gaze, nodding slightly. You take a moment to gauge the atmosphere in the room before you begin speaking.

"Yeah, thank you. I just wanted to say I'm uh I'm sorry for this. Perhaps I was being reckless for not thinking about the damage it might do beforehand, it was only supposed to be a simple favour." You admit, accompanied by a nervous smile.

Lance glances at you, his hands diving deeper into his pockets, inadvertently tearing apart the tissues crammed within them with his fingers.

You couldn't find any faults in their strategy to handle the potential public backlash, though at the moment, there wasn't much of it. However, Grace didn't omit the fact that the fallout could arise if indirect communication between the team and the fans was completely severed.

Several team members chimed in, contributing potential pros and cons to each of the strategies Grace had outlined. After around an hour of deliberation, with back-and-fourths aplenty, the group finally settled on the most suitable course of action.

“Lance, anything to add?” He broke his gaze away and looked up at the manager, “no. Sounds good.”

You acknowledge the fact that he seems entirely disinterested in what was happening in front of him but for good reason. You were the one who dragged him into this so in turn, it seemed unfair that he was one who had to bear the consequences of dealing with it as well.

When the meeting wrapped up, Grace allowed everyone to leave the room but you. You hoped this wouldn’t be a reprimand but you can’t deny that you had been holding a faint expectation of one.

“Y/N, I’m not that old,” your eyebrows draw together in confusion and she continues, “but I can pick up on a few things every now and again.”

You struggle to maintain the conversation, your lips parting as you respond, "I-I'm not sure what you mean."

"I'm certain this past weekend has been quite eventful, full of surprises," she emphasises, and perhaps you're leaning on the side of obliviousness because you still can't quite grasp the significance of her words.

Seemingly filled with riddles, you couldn't help but think.

“There’s a way that this entire situation could be fixed before we’d even have to step in.” Grace concedes, her words leaving a weighty impression on you, their meaning gradually becoming clearer as her sentences unfold.

“I see the way he looks at you,” she confesses quietly and you swallow.

Your gaze drops and her eyes narrow, “what is it that you’re not telling me?” Her attention to detail leaves you slightly frustrated, yet you can't help but acknowledge that it's this very trait which helps her excel at her job.

You waver in your decision, but you'd been carrying this weight within you for nearly a week. Thus, when the words begin to spill out of your mouth, you don't feel any remorse for your lack of restraint.

“He told me it was a lie. How can I tell someone who told me this was practically bullshit that I lo-” You cut yourself off, the words catching in your throat as you shift uneasily on your feet, feeling tears well up in your eyes.

"Do one better. Tell him the truth."

...

The Friday morning, two days after your brief conversation with Grace left you realising that she was right. The words you needed to express couldn't linger unsaid any longer. They had been gnawing at you, a constant replay of Lance's words echoing in your mind.

She appeared rather pleased that you chose to heed her suggestion when you approached her in the office. With her help, you managed to secure permission from the chief engineer, granting you the opportunity to visit the pit garage during track time at Silverstone.

Deciding to give him some time for his laps, you instead opted to stand on the balcony directly above the track, taking in the view. As you watched, nerves arose again upon seeing the engineers guide his car back into the garage.

It takes you a bit of time to reach the garage, as it's quite a distance to cover. However, the absence of crowds and the limited presence of other teams in the paddock make your journey a little quicker. You glance around his section of the garage, trying to spot him, but it's him who spots you first.

His smile wavers, and his ongoing conversation with an engineer comes to an abrupt stop. His race suit hangs around his waist, and his helmet rests on the counter behind him.

Navigating past a couple of engineers, you approach him, and he moves toward you with measured steps. His gaze roves across your features, seeking clues about your unexpected presence, but your expression reveals little beyond a gentle demeanour.

You take a breath through your nose, forcing a smile to greet him instead of merely gazing in silence. It's the first time you've been in such close proximity to him since the wedding day, a time that holds positive memories for a change.

"I, uh," your words falter in your throat, and you clench your jaw in an attempt to gather yourself. He remains silent, admiring.

“Do you have a minute?” You ask, a little quieter. He nods curtly, prompting you to follow him, probably to a place that wasn’t full of engineers and various personnel.

You allow him to guide you into what appears to be a communal drivers' room, presumably accessible to any driver in need. Once you're inside, he shuts the door behind you.

The confined space of the room doesn't escape your notice, but you choose not to focus on it. Instead, you concentrate on gathering your words.

Eventually, the only thing that does manage to come out is, “was it all a lie?” You ask in a whisper, though audible enough for him to hear.

Lance lifts his eyebrows in surprise, clearly not anticipating the direction that the conversation has taken. It seems your question caught him off guard.

As he remains silent, you interpret his lack of response as an invitation to elaborate on what you're asking, “what you said. There being something between us.”

He approaches you in the small space, his lips parting as he searches for the right words. “You know it wasn’t a lie.” You exhale a quiet sigh of relief, the similar emotions you’d been feeling the night on the dance floor stirring within you again.

It was a warm feeling. A comforting one.

His presence evokes memories of that night at the club, a feeling of protection enveloping you as if he were a shield of safety. However, the current proximity feels incomplete, lacking his touch on any part of your body – not around your waist, not on your arms, nor on your hips.

Perhaps, after pulling him into your mess, you deserved this sense of deprivation, as if it were a consequence of your own actions.

Several moments pass in silence within the room, a lapse in time that you're only drawn out of when he places his hand on your neck, his thumb gently tracing your jawline.

The touch pulls you back to the present, and his gaze moves from your eyes to your lips, his intention clear.

“I think I might go crazy if I don’t tell you this in the next ten seconds,” you breathily admit and Lance’s eyebrow quirks up in curiosity.

“Want me to start counting?” You scoff, a small smile tugging at your lips as you shake your head. His lack of seriousness manages to alleviate the tension slightly, making the impending conversation a touch more manageable.

"I, uh," you stutter, and he senses your nervousness, granting you a bit more time even though the ten seconds were swiftly ticking away.

"I'm in love with you," you blurt out, and a slight smile tugs at the corner of his lips. His gaze locks onto yours, the tension between you escalating threefold more than the time you had left things unresolved by the swimming pool all those days ago.

"I, uh, I didn't quite catch that," he replies and your eyes narrow. You tilt your head, offering him a silent caution. He grins, "what?"

"Don't. Don't make me do it again," you warn him playfully. A soft chuckle escapes his lips, and you can't help but smile in response.

"Why? Did you not mean to say-" Refusing to let him complete his sentence, you fist his shirt in your hand and pull him towards you. Your lips crash together in a fervent kiss, and he yields to your lead as you guide him backward until his back meets the wooden cupboard.

His hands tenderly cradle your cheeks before sliding down to your waist, drawing you closer to him. You succumb to the sensation of his touch, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of your top. The warmth of his palm against your bare skin rekindles a familiar sensation within you, one you had sorely missed.

A soft moan escapes your lips as his hand exerts pressure on your skin. "Lance," you murmur against his lips, pulling back slightly, but only by a few inches. His hand shifts to your back, preventing you from retreating any further.

Guilt washes over you as you come to the realisation that you could have had this moment much earlier. "I wish I had listened to you. I wish I hadn't heard him out," you confess, whispering.

"Hey," he murmurs, his touch gentle as he traces over the skin you only ever want him to touch. His gaze meets yours, and his eyes reflect a desire that you're certain he had kept hidden until now.

“I’m way too fucking in love with you to give a shit about that.. prick.” You chuckle softly, but his gaze remains fixed on you.

"I'd offer to take you out to dinner, but that seems like too small a repayment now," he says, and you blink, acutely attuned to his words.

“What do you have in mind?” Your fingers gently threading through his hair as your hand settles at the back of his neck.

"A few things," he replies, his smile warm and suggestive.

He continues and you blush when you feel his thumb fiddling with the band of your bra. “Just me and you, what do you say to another weekend away?”

...

A/N: AND THAT IS A WRAP! Seriously though, thank you all so much for your support during this lil mini-series, it’s truly been so motivating <33 I’ll be hard at work writing again after a lil break so this is a reminder to make you sure you take care of yourself too, and put yourself first!!

Mwah, love you all loads ;)

Masterlist

Taglist: @fantasticbouquetwitchsthings @topguncultleader @spicyclover @amirahart @softiecaro @alilstressyandlotdepressy @eugene-emt-roe @e-lisa-bettan @strolleclercs @jjsprobablywrong @carmelita-holland @flowerchild-96 @honethatty12 @gaslysainz @pierre-gasssllyy @lestappenloverr @chiliwhore @mentallyunstablebish @mcmuppet @xscorpioxmoon @ferrariloverr @rivivie @starkeyellow @vanillascreams @tororossoseb-blog @hiphopdancer101universe @hc-dutch @chonkybonky @natasharomanoffisbaebby @little-angel-07 @lxnceclercs @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @hockey-racing-fubol @honeyric3 @purplephantomwolf @mindflay3r @ttzjune @xitsyaiizax @dylylylylyly @rd14 @secretlyangrymagazine @love4lando @vildetry-06 @sharllec @aundercover @mloyer @alesainz @cinnamonroll2003 @nikki01234 @junhuilvrrr @f1-hyperfixation

[modelbus]

eyup model!! Hru?? Hope all is well… but lets get to the important shit, THATS RIGHT! ITS ME, YOUR SELF PROCLAIMED FAVOURITE ANNON, ✨🌌🌙!!! Y’know, the one that writes SUPER detailed, SUPER long and SUPER off-topic-for-the-first-half requests!!!! (If I keep this up for long enough, you’re gonna have to add a ✨🌌🌙 Annon section to your master list. /hj)

that makes me think about when I first requested, I wonder how long its been.. I THINK my first req was Cut Chaos.. one sec lemme check………

AYE IN 4(ish) MONTHS IT’LL BE A YEAR SINCE I STARTED HARASSING YOU WITH MY THINK OF BRAINS!

been a while.. I’ll need to remember to write a DUMB request in june.

SO. REQUEST. YES. I DO THAT? I DO THAT.

okay so idk how to format this but here,

She/Her pronouns for plot. y/n is honestly, REALLY bad at pvp, she’s know amongst the SBI for being.. a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but the wolf has no teeth. She likes flowers, pastel pinks, purples, and blues, she likes cottage core dresses and corsets.. So on the surface she looks like a pretty, little, innocent streamer!… yeah, no. Sure, shes pretty as fuck, but little? She is SURPRISINGLY TALL. half the fan base is fully convinced EVERY photo shes in is photo shopped, but sure enough, shes 6’4! Innocent? Say the words ‘Arson’ ‘Crime’ or ‘Manslaughter’, and you practically summon her. (Every SMP she has been on, has in-fact seen not only her enemy’s but HER OWN, Builds being blown up and/or burnt to the ground AT LEAST, 3 times.) shes also know for her ADORABLE builds (shame half of them end in ash..), her parkour skills.. and uh.. being complete garbage at anything pvp.

Well twitter being twitter, a lot of sexist 12 year old boys, and Andrew tate fans like to be.. REALLY creepy and all ‘perfect house wife’ about her. (You get the gist no more detail needed.) While they may not know it(they ignore it/pretend its fake), she’s actually quite strong in real life, often picking up her friends in irl streams and running away with them as a bit (with consent ofc)! But in minecraft, that doesn’t really show.. so naturally being the absolute fucking queen she is, about a year ‘n a half ago, she decided she was gonna be fucking great at pvp. Naturally not telling anyone but techno (so he could teach her, duh) and avoiding all pvp for a year, lead to people joking about it more often.. this didn’t bother her, it was actually perfect, she had been getting better. Like really. Danm. Better. Practicing even without techno and on an alt, and at this point? It felt natural to be disappointed at a 25 win streak.. she went from 0 to about 30-40 average win streaks.. in a year and a half.. she was dedicated, okay? Her fans did notice her getting a little rusty at parkour but they just assumed she had been to busy to practice as much.. they were right but not about what she was busy doing.. So, she obviously invited the sbi, and a few other friends (Tubbo, Ranboo and Dream.) to play a custom pvp themed game, with the stream titled ‘I haven’t pvp-ed in a year and a half, and now I’m doing it again.’ where they were split into two rounds, (y/n and techno being in both but the rest in one) all in hardcore and spawned on opposite sides of the map, having 30 minutes to gear up, before pvp was turned on, and no going to the end, no other rules than one hour to be the last one standing, they could team, they could camp, they could use tnt minecrarts, they could go to the nether, anything. it was all game.

only two people expected her to crush almost everyone. I’m not even sure if those two people were expecting her to come second one round, and WIN the other.. but with her getting half the kills in round one and losing to techno in a final battle where she held her fucking ground like a boss ass mother fucker, and winning after techno killed Dream and she ambushed him after using a god apple..

lets just say after a couple things trending, a lot of fanart and A LOT of sapphic women going crazy, nobody dared to question her dedication to proving she was a fucking force to be reckoned with again.

(It also became a very popular running joke that she got more women than any other Minecraft CC.. you don’t gotta include that just- just make it cannon.. oops, dropped my gay onto the request lemme fetch that rq..) (yes, I wrote this y/n as my fuckin dream girl, I’m a simp okay..)

haha.. ha.. BRO AT THIS POINT I’M JUST WRITING A FIC AND TELLING YOU TO RE-WRITE IT BUT MAKE IT GOOD I- feel free to change what ever, the top half is mostly just context- even if you don’t do this request you should reply to it so its not lost to the void- I.. I’m sorry man I keep doing this to you-

OH WELL JUST PRETEND THIS IS WAY SHORTER THAN IT IS OR IGNORE IT IDC EITHER WAY HOPE THIS GIVES YA INSPO POOKIE (the pookie was ironic I swear-) - ✨🌌🌙 Annon

For our one year anniversary I’ll make a special section of my master list just for you bbg <3 also don’t judge me for this title I was STRUGGLING

Pairing: what the fuck anymore Actual pairing: Fem!Reader x Cc!Phil, Cc!Tommy, Cc!Technoblade, Cc!Dream, Cc!Tubbo, Cc!Ranboo

Flower Power

You were pretty happy with who you were. A badass woman who just so happened to be the epitome of flower power? Hell yeah.

Fairy lights twinkle in the background of your setup, a wall full of vines and LED signs providing extra ambience. That’s not to mention the special keyboard—resin flower keycaps, they were on sale okay—alongside your setup in general. Even your mic had cute animal stickers on it. Well, except for the one Tommy gave you of his face? It was weird.

Right now, though, you aren’t at your cute setup. No matter how much you loved it, you were at least aware that you couldn’t send every waking moment at it. You weren’t quite that much of a content machine.

So of course you go outside to film vlogs with Tommy! Totally reasonable break from filming content: film more content!

Jokes aside, you loved hanging out with your friends. Getting dressed up just for Tommy to inevitably ruin it was practically your good luck ritual. The sheer number of skirts, shawls, and even socks he owes you is astronomical.

Today he had promised nothing messy (for once), so you took your chance. Pale blue corset embroidered with flowers and a flowy white skirt, you were practically screaming your aesthetic to anyone who looked at you. And Ranboo had given you a dandelion for your hair, which only added to it.

”Tall fuckers to the back for the photo!” Tommy shouts, and the poor bystander he roped into taking the photo stares. “Which obviously means me—“

“Get your short ass back in front.” You order, snagging his shoulders and forcing him in front of you. From your side, Ranboo snickers.

“Welcome to the club, king.” Tubbo tells Tommy before grinning at the camera.

“What the fuck.” He grumbles. “She’s hardly any taller than me!”

“Keep lying to yourself.” You put your elbow on his head, just to add insult to injury.

“Um, I got the photo I think.” The stranger says, holding Tommy’s phone out to him. He takes it without even looking at the photos.

“Thanks.” He says after you clear your throat pointedly to prompt him.

Seeing their chance to escape, the person just nods and hurries off without a single glance back. Probably glad to be rid of your wayward group of streamers and YouTubers.

“It’s a decent photo.” Tommy begrudgingly admits.

“It’s my cue to leave, actually. I’ve got plans.” Tubbo says, checking his phone.

“Why do you get more bitches than me?” Tommy whines.

“…it’s my mother.”

“And we all know I get the most bitches.” You jump in, high-fiving Ranboo blindly. You nearly hit his face, but that’s okay. It would’ve been funny.

“Oh shut the fuck up.” Tommy elbows you, all gangly limbs and pointy bones. “We’re playing Minecraft later, right?”

“Not me.” Tubbo reminds him.

“No shit. I was talking to these two idiots.”

“Hey!”

“I’ll be on.” You lean over him, looking at his phone for the time. “You’re aware we need to leave if we want to make your stupid fucking steam time?”

He looks down, eyes widening. “Oh shit!”

Just for making you run home, you blow up his house on Minecraft. For the fourth time. It was ugly looking anyway, nothing like your adorable mushroom house, so he was practically begging for it to be exploded.

It’s his fault. Always.

-

“You really want to attack me from there?”

Your hands freeze on your keyboard mid-movement, making your character in game also freeze at Techno’s words.

“Not anymore?” You laugh nervously.

“Right answer. Try this again and I’ll pretend like I don’t see you.”

PvP training was going great, and by that you mean you’ve been killed every single time by one swing of his axe. It was no secret that you were bad at fighting. Your go-to tactic was to load up on TnT and hope for the best, which met… many criticisms.

And you were sick and tired of it. It’s time to reinstate your badass reputation and become a ruthless killer in a video game. Innocent bedwars players would never know what hit them! Hopefully, at least. Right now, you’re still working on that.

“Fuck!” You exclaim as Techno kills you yet again, the respawn screen flashing up.

“If you with to defeat me, train for another—“

“I’m trying!”

-

@ GenericUsername Anyone else notice that our resident flower girl has been avoiding PvP… poor girl is TIRED of being flamed

-> @ EatingLipSkin She deserves it for how shit she is for dying to magma blocks that one time

-

Slowly, so fucking slowly, you watch your bedwars win streak increase. Slowly, you watch your skywars win streak increase.

Somehow, against literally all odds, you’re learning how to girlboss PvP. Although when you told Techno that he seemed mildly confused, but you were definitely girlbossing PvP.

Which was exactly why you knew this stream was a good idea.

After a year and a half, you were hosting a huge stream with a bunch of your friends competing in a PvP tournament. Tommy insisted on there being a prize, so whoever wins gets the highly esteemed Tesco’s gift card you’ve had in your desk for five months. A battle of true honor, of epic consequences.

“Alright guys, so here’s my plan.” You tell your stream, mining some wood to craft basic tools. Everyone has 30 minutes to gear up, then it’s an hour till the winner is crowned. With the map having a small border, you’re counting on some cheeky kills from sneaking up on others. “I mine first, stock up on iron. Make a diamond axe if I can, but mostly go for lava buckets and backup gear.”

Your plan is put into motion quickly. With the new iron veins, it’s incredibly easy for you to get geared up within fifteen minutes. Venturing back up to the surface for food, you spot Tubbo without any armor killing sheep.

Perfect.

Sneaking to hide your name tag, you venture up a tree to get closer to him. You added a proximity mod, so you can hear him talking to his stream.

“We need lots of food, chat. All these guys— these guys don’t know the importance of food!” He’s saying. It’s a smart plan; if only you weren’t planning on killing him and taking his food.

“Hi Tubbo!�� You shout, dropping down and killing him with a few swipes of your axe. “One down, just a few more to go!”

As people die left and right—most dying to you, to everyone’s surprise—you pointedly avoid Technoblade. The student will never surpass the master, after all. All your tricks came from his playbook and you really didn’t want to see how competitive he’d get for a gift card he’d never even use.

Dream was slain by Technoblade

Your eyes widen in surprise at the chat message, quickly stretching your fingers to press tab and bring up the list of players left alive. Only yours and Techno’s show.

“Oh no.” You breathe, freezing. “Oh God, chat. I have to murder Technoblade. I have to disassemble his organs and destroy his aorta.”

Suddenly, you’re paranoid as all hell. Randomly going into F5 as you kill cows, checking every angle.

“The student thinks she can challenge the master?” Techno asks, and you shriek in surprise as he digs up from below you.

“I fucking knew you’d say that! You predictable pig!”

“But you didn’t know where I was going to come from.” He points out. You know him well enough to detect the faint line of amusement in the words.

You groan, eating a steak. “Let’s dance, Technoblade.”

“Let’s die, actually.”

He comes at you with an axe, immediately disabling your shield. In retaliation, you swap to a fishing rod to lure him back in when he tried to run off.

As the two of you fight, you find yourself getting closer to your monitor, keeping your mouth shut as you concentrate. Fingers flying across the keys, you scroll to your lava bucket and attempt to burn him. By some miracle, he manages to avoid it and get a hit in on you.

“Oh my God.” You breathe at seeing how many hearts it takes. “Is that fucking enchanted?”

“Is yours not? Get good, nerd.”

You jump past him, placing a quick block to act as a barrier as you smack him with your own axe. Diamond, so it should make up for the difference in strength of his enchanted iron axe.

He loops around a tree, but you momentarily lose track of him. “Where the fuck—?”

As you notice your hearts depleting, you whirl around. Instead of doing the smart thing a retreating, you jump forward and crit him out. If he were any other player (cough cough, Tommy), he’d run. But he’s Technoblade. And all he does is crit you in return, killing you.

“Fuck.” You groan, leaning back in the chair.

<Technoblade> If you wish to defeat me train for another 100 years

Rolling your eyes at the chat message, all you can do is wait for the server to be reset with a new map and everyone living again.

You do the same tactic again, gearing up as quick as possible. It seems like other people have stolen your idea, but go about it in different ways based on the achievements. In the chat, you watch as Ranboo gets the achievement for entering the nether and then Tommy gets it right after.

“I will gift twenty subs if one of them isn’t dead within… five minutes.” You wager to your chat, laughing slightly. They’re still busy freaking out that you placed second last round, making you smile. “Guys, what’s wrong? You didn’t think I’d get kills? What am I known for if not manslaughter?”

A few minutes later—just under five minutes, might you note—Ranboo’s death message pops up. And then so does Tommy’s. Ranboo was killed by Tommy, but apparently Tommy burned to death? You can definitely picture his dumb ass walking into fire.

“Well… looks like I’m aiming for Phil.” You sigh. “I’d feel too bad to kill Tubbo again. But I’m not fucking with Dream or Techno— losing fights and all that.”

You start mining up to the surface, digging through some deep slate you had gone through. “Wait, is this wood?” You ask, scrolling to your axe to mine through the oak planks. You mine directly through a mineshaft, gasping in surprise. “Oh!”

There’s a chest in a minecart right in front of you, so you open it, hoping for some cheeky diamonds. You’ll even take wheat; food is food.

“Oh my God!” You shriek, probably bursting more than a few eardrums. “A god apple— oh my god! We’re fucking winning this one, guys! Cower at my name! But first we’re getting out of here before a spider kills me.”

You run around for a few minutes before stumbling into Dream and promptly running the other way directly into Phil’s house. Why he was building a house on a PvP server? You’ll never know.

“Oh, hi mate, what’re you doing?” He asks, hands empty of any weapons. You scroll onto your flint and steel silently. “Listen. We can talk about this. You don’t need to do this.”

“It’s too late, Philza Minecraft.” You answer, lighting some of the logs on fire. “Should’ve made it out of stone!”

Turning, you light the ground under him on fire then scroll over to your axe. He’s not expecting it, and although he gets a hit in with his empty fists, you still kill him.

“Just Techno and Dream left now.” You note. “Let’s just… hope they battle it out.”

To keep yourself occupied as you wait for the last five minutes before the borders shrink, you start setting cows on fire and collecting flowers. Poppies and dandelions fill your inventory, your little good luck charms.

“Alright guys. Someone go sneak into Techno’s chat and snitch on what’s happening for me.” You laugh, shaking your head. “Kidding, kidding. Don’t do that.”

Just as the one-minute warning pops up I no chat, Techno’s death message does. You gasp loudly, before grinning. “It’s my time to shine! I’ll avenge Techno!”

The world border starts to shrink behind you, but you’re already on the move. Knowing Dream, he’ll probably be in the center of the map. If you can catch him while he’s looting Techno’s body, you have no chance of losing.

“Stop saying good luck chat, I don’t need any good luck.” You grin, spotting Dream’s name tag. “I’ve got skill.”

Before you throw yourself at him, you eat your enchanted golden apple. If you trade blows, you’ll end up winning with the extra health. And two hearts is all you need.

“Ohhhh Dream!” You shout, catching him with a swing of your axe as you jump past him.

“AHH— what the fuck? Where did you come from?” He runs after you, making you do awkward jumping around to avoid his fishing rod.

“Stop! Stop that, I can’t— Dream!”

“Are you regenerating? Did you go to the nether?” He asks, and you can’t help but smile.

Because God apples don’t just give you extra hearts; they give you regeneration.

“I did one better.”

You hit him with your axe again, trading blows with him just like you thought you might.

“You’ve got to be low, how low are you?” He asks, hitting you again, but it’s too late. His body explodes on his death, his items flying out everywhere. You throw your chair back, jumping up and shouting.

“SUCK MY FUCKING DICK HATERS! I’M THE NEW PVP GODDESS AROUND HERE!”

-

@ WomenLover MOMMY? SORRY... MOMMY? SORRY

->@ TheRealBIcon dont be sorry we all thinking it she HOT HOT

@ S4pph1cSarah Anyone else see that fanart of her winning the PvP tournament… woo boy…. I’m… not okay…

@ S4pph1cSarah A thread of the HOTTEST fanart I’ve ever seen of our beloved streamer <3

@ SmexyWomenNearMe Me: “where is she?” “Her parkour skills are rusty how odd” “she’s streaming less” Her: “Watch this fuckos I’m badass and a killer”

->@ TwilightReference ”this is the face of a killer Bella”

@ CottagecoreBadass Can we talk about how dedicated she is? Like yeah she’s hot. So hot. But she’s also insanely badass and commited???

->@ CuteBuilder101 Best type of woman fr fr ->@ StarAnon Cottagecore + badass + chaotic force of nature = her (my dream woman)

@ StarAnon She really just drew all the women lovers outta hiding huh

@ ThisIsTheWriter Idk if I want to be her or if I want her but man. Oh man. I’m so bi.

[lubotomies]

i could be remembering this wrong but wasnt there a trend with badly written tord redemption shit where edd & matt forgave him IMMEDIATELY and tom was portrayed as the bad guy for not also doing that

absolutely correct and you could place money on the bet that it would still be tomtord. also tord would also be unintentionally incredibly guilt-trippy because they wanted him to hate himself for betraying them but cant write nuance so heres my impression of a 2018 tomtord panic attack tord redemption fic that lacks any substance:

''Tom... I-I'm-''

''Sorry?'' Tom interrupted with a snarl. ''Shove it up your arse. I don't want your fake remorse.''

Fake...?

Oh... His chest was feeling tight. His organic hand moved up towards his own heart instinctually, gripping the fabric. His robotic arm reached out to him.

''I-I assure you, my remorse is not fake... I genuinely feel bad for what I've done to you...''

Tom whips around, and Tord stumbles back, startled. Tom takes a few steps forward, closing the distance between them again, jabbing his index finger in his chest.

''Bull. Shit. You don't feel bad at fucking all. You're the same old bastard who blew up our house, killed our neighbour, punched Matt and betrayed Edd's trust! Even if you did feel bad,'' his finger leaves his chest as his hands move up to mime air quotes. ''Feeling bad doesn't undo all that. Feeling bad doesn't make you changed, and it doesn't make you better, it doesn't mean you've learned your lesson and it certainly doesn't mean people should forgive you!''

Tord finds it difficult to breathe now. His heart is thumping in his ears, he thinks if he put his fingers on his wrist to feel for a pulse they'd spring back from the force of his heartbeat. He bites his lip and bows his head as it heats up with shame.

Tom's venomous words have not stopped there.

''You want to make it up to everyone? You want it to be even? Then fucking KILL YOURSELF!!!!'' He punctuates by shoving Tord to the ground.

''I'm sorry.'' Tord whispers. His hands move up to his hair, gripping it tightly as he draws his knees up to his chest. ''I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.''

Tom quirks a brow.

The words tumble out without much thought. ''You're right. I-I shouldn't have come back. I shouldn't h-have asked for forgiveness. I'm worthless, I'm a s-sack of shit.'' He says, still hushed but at least audible. He sniffs, and a hand moves from their place in his hair over to rub away his tears. ''Everyone would be better off if I killed myself. I ruined your lives, and now I'm back making them worse a-again.''

and then it ends with tom feeling bad and trying to forgive tord all the while tord continues to do this dumb ass self-deprecating whining and snivelling and at least 1 panic attack per chapter because tom says cartoonishly evil shit so tord gets his redemption via ;;_;; im sawwddd and have anxwiettyyyyy guilt tripping everyone around him into forgiving him and making them walk on eggshells because if you dont forgive him for murder he'll be saaaaaadddd 😢

[onemorecupofcoffee]

k so once a complete unknown comes out idk what i'll do. first off i have no idea if ill be hyperfixated on bob but it's been a LONG hyperfixation so yknow. maybe. and it's honestly only probably gonna be a year bc theyve made us wait sooo long and theyre done with filming and theyve recorded most if not all the songs and post production shouldnt take long bc theres not like huge cgi shit so. which means theres a good chance itll be out before winter 2025 . now i have irl friends who are timothee fans who want to see the movie when it comes out. so a lot of timothee fans will def go see the movie, but the general population?. i honestly dont know its def marketed more towardsa general audience but like its not like wonka was the biggest movie of the year or anything or the songs went off the charts. but my prediction is that one dylan song that wasnt as popular before will trend on tiktok or something bc timothee covered it and timothees version will become more popular than the og. idk which song bc im honestly not sure if theyre gonna do just any bob song or only the era presented in the movie. if its the era in the movie i think its gonna be an another side of bob dylan song bc that entire album is pretty underrated, except for my back pages it's not that popular for dylan, and it has a lot of lyrically amazing songs. im thinking maybe i dont believe you she acts like we never have met, n it would make sense to play in the movie. but it could be any song , like if theyre playing all eras bob then probably one of his newer songs. But a lot of timothee fans are like ok someones gonna get an oscar for something and im like . ugh no. but its a possibility bc oscars suck so then it would obviously become even more popular. theyre not gonna depict dylan correctly though and then people are gonna believe a scene in the movie actually happened and its like NO IT DIDNT just like the doors movie holy shit i hate that movie . but it could be decent it could turn out ok despite the horrid casting . do i think theyre gonna play other songs yes!!! not just dylan other baez, other folk songs definitely it actually seems like they paid attention to some things. the fashion was not it but the set decorators did an amzing job actually so it seems like there was SOME work that went into this movie. now i thijk theyre gonna end it at newport folk festival but they should end it at motorcycle accident but whatever . but its gonna be like mainl dylan i think but they said its an ensemble piece meaning its also gonna be focused on joan and fake suze rotolo/sylvie/ whatever the fuck her name is. and pete seeger bc hes been in a lot of the paparazzi pics so?. hes there too. and maybe woody guthrie hopefully woody guthrie obviously woody guthrie and they filmed in new jersey so its kinda like yeah. but hes gonna be sick so theyre not gonna really show him but theyre gonna show dylan meeting him. i dont think theyre gonna really show dylans childhood, yea timmy went to hibbing but everyone knows dylan lied a lot so no one knows anything about his childhood really. i think the main romance plot will literally just be bob being like choosing between joan and sylvie or some boring shit like that and theyre not gonna understand the weird fucking relationship bob had with joan or anything. but its gonna be dumb straight love triangle bc the writers are boring and not like im not there todd haynes where haynes understood dylan was queer as fuck and made multiple references to dylan being queer insome way theyre not gonna do that. and timmy will NOT top cate blanchett ever but he might win the oscar even though cate literally deserved that oscar. So the world will explode if it gets popular and then someone will cancel bob dylan or something . and bob dylan dies after seeing it "the worst experience of my life" and theyre gonna botch and popify the songssooo bad but theyre gonna get so popular its so dumb everything is dumb and then bob dylan will have a dumb modern resurgence but by people who dont know anything about him

and wont care to learn aside from that dumb biopic im sorry im welcoming new fans but i feel like theyre just gonna not actually wanna learn about him aside from timmy biopic . And its like. come on. but his records will get more popular and more valuable i mean gen z listens to a lot of physical media maybe his tour might be more popular too if hes still alive so in general people are like hey this guys pretty good or something but then everyone will kinda forget about him but sokme people will stay. i think . and then its like some weird shit gets out about him again he says something out of pocket about the biopic and then everyones like thats Odd. and the biopic keeps getting memed out of context maybe a bob meme will become very popular .. and timmy clitoris fans will be like this is the best film ever and petition for it to win best film at oscra s or something dymb andits all dumb stupif shit and then someones like Hey bob dylan was a fuckign faggot and everyone realises bob WAS fafuckin g faggot and its finally recognize d anf then people boycott the biopic bc it erases queer history rightfully so and then some people who dgaf about bob dont like the biopic and then timmy clitoris apologizes saying he didnt know and hes not queer though even though hes a fuciing twink and then bob slike yeha i had gay sex with george harrison. so what and everyones like Ohhh i knew it but those stupid people are like wtf? bob dylna is GAY? and then itslike ok open your eyes and then at the oscars timmy clitoris has to apologize again saying he didnt know bob dylan was queer and everyones like oh its ok but inrreality we hate you and cate blanchett knew it the whole TIME! and then the biopic is burned people burndown their copies of it and its INSANE and everyones INWSNE and then traveling wilbyurys biopic comes out and theres a sex scene with george and bob in like 2030 bc of the beatles biopics too ! and timyms like dsaved is my fav bob dylan album and he triesto join the fandom but everyone boos him and he dies before bob dies and alos never meets bob

[annieqattheperipheral]

mackinnon trending on the bird app.. had to click...

twitter hockeymen going on and on about a "big strong man" being "too soft" and "clearly faking" being unable to keep his balance and deserving an embellishment/diving penalty is the cishet man's hrpf. writing a narrative to fulfill a daydream about why their team lost. and the most hilarious-- why they've "lost respect for mackinnon" 😂😂😂 oh noo the dogg is so sad and must unfriend the always honourable golden goal captain canada sid immediately

...something comes at your hand (not at the puck, but at your body) while you're receiving a pass and gearing up into a shot where you're positioning and weight is about to be shifted mostly onto a single foot in order to release. it jolts you out of your rhythm to have to push that intruding stick out of the way and have to overcompensate to reposition and regain balance and stay on your feet.

men: boo. so soft. what a performance.

listen here you stupid little gnat. nathan motherfucking mackinnon doesn't need a pity penalty call to make your team look like ass k. he and his boys did that with 4 unanswered goals. and he does it on the regular, singlehandedly, at even strength.

embellishment/diving calls are some of my most hated shit in this game. cale has gotten some of the worst in seasons past. like my goodness. he was just a little guy. obviously he's gonna twirl around a bit, not even fall, trying to regain balance and they throw that call on him. he's even called off penalties called on others bc he insisted they didn't touch him, that he fell of his own volition. one of the best skaters with incredible edgework technique falls on slippery ice sometimes. huh. who woulda thunk it.

the teams that do that diving shit on the regular as per their coaches' instructions, go after them you fucking idiots. entire teams have won stanley cups with award-winning performances you ate up. or hey, how about the refs who call simultaneous penalties along with dives?? which one is it? is it a penalty or is it a nothing and some dude falling on his own in order to frame someone?? nhl refs have bred mistrust in calls with their lousy performance record.

obvs I've nothing against van fans here. this is all aimed at nonsense twitter hockeymen and refs. sometimes... sometimes i just gotta vent before i can get back to regularly scheduled tumblr funsies with y'all. anyhow, dumb rant over. peace n love n lets objectify men in fully-covered attire

[step-on-me-khun]

Hello ~ can I have a hickey prank HCs where S/o faking it to see the reactions of Eduan-Yama-Jinsung-White..each separately pls? Have a wonderful day

hello. i have to be honest, i've never heard of this - I'm never on tiktok, so I literally had to google what the hickey prank even is - if I get this a bit wrong, please forgive me

warning(s): threatening behaviour, and White, because he's one giant warning words: n/a taglist: @unexceptional-h @rizonacigaravenue @koi-chairowo @aoi-turtle @bangchanbin

Eduan

He's handsome, appealing, and, of course, he's the head of the Khun family - possibly the most attractive family ever

He would forever be proud of a lovebite he left on a woman, that included you

Eduan's quite the womaniser, so noticing a lovebite on someone other than another person he'd made love with made no difference

But you decided to test that, wondering the outcome

As you happened upon his field of vision, you slowed down and sat nearby smiling at him

Of course he notices, but just doesn't seem to think there's a problem

It's just a lovebite after all, and he didn't really care if you were with anyone else

It just confuses him a bit when you keep moving your hair away from your neck

But he just goes back to his business, not paying you any mind at all

You keep trying to get his attention, until he continues to wonder what you're up to

"Got allergies, or something?"

"What? No,"

"Then what's with that fake-looking lovebite?"

"It's not fake,"

"Okay, good for you,"

"It doesn't bother you?" it got you annoyed

"Why would it? There're other women, so you getting with someone else isn't my business,"

It descends into the opposite of jealousy, and you have to admit that you were attempting to prank him

To which, he sighs and facepalms

Yama

He's someone who could be pretty territorial, he's a dog so that's understandable

And also loyal, although he doesn't show it

So if you flaunt something obvious to him, he'll react, unless it's small, in that case, good luck getting his attention

And he's tall too, so you have to catch him when he's sitting down otherwise you've missed an opportunity

It was after meeting with his brothers, Yama's mind was nowhere and you happened to walk in front of him and stop, turning your head to flash the purple bruise you had created

Sometimes, Yama was oblivious, and other times he was able to take a hint

And he was able to take the hint, and as he notices he tenses up

"How did you get that mark?" He asks as he stands up, intimidating as fuck

"I-ugh, I don't know what you're talking about?" You begin to play with your hair, and he made you feel scared and anxious. Maybe this wasn't a good idea

"Stop playing dumb, who gave you that bruise?"

"No one,"

"Stop lying to me,"

Now you knew that playing a prank on Yama was a bad decision, you had to tell him

"Okay, okay, it's a prank, I'm sorry,"

Yama's eyes looked deadly like you were the next thing he was going to fight

"Never do that again, we're through if you play those types of tricks again,"

You've felt awful and scared since

Jinsung

Would notice the smallest of things about you, and knows of certain trends and tricks

Never in a million years would he ever think you were capable of pulling a tiktok prank on him

He's anything but gullible though, and when he thinks you're acting strange, he will confront you

You had to plan everything away from him, without acting suspicious

He could be silly at times, embarrassing Baam at any given moment, and if you were in front of others while showing off something, he would make sure everyone else knew too

But when he was serious, he could be scary, so predicting what the outcome would be was useless

As you enter the room Jinsung was in, you stare at him with confusion, then stood there, hoping he'd notice

"Did you forget something?" He asked

"I don't know?"

"You trying to hide something from me, precious angel?"

"Hide something?"

A look of sadness appeared on his face

"What's with that expression? Is something wrong?"

"There's someone else, isn't there?"

"What? Of course, there isn't,"

His eyes stare at you, and you could see a mixture of sadness and anger, but more sadness. This was something you didn't account for

"Where did you get that lovebite from, then?"

You wipe away the makeup and try not to avoid staring him in the eye

"Sorry, I was trying to prank you,"

"Oh, I need some time to think," he says before leaving you alone for a bit

Never do it again, you didn't end up breaking up, but still, you learnt now knew what Jinsung looked like when he was upset

White

Being around you made him a proud asshole, not that that was enough to make you constantly stay beside him. He was a jerk

White would be oblivious when it came to you planning anything, and he didn't care, unless it was about him

Pranks generally didn't affect him, he viewed them as unneeded and unnecessary

But that didn't stop you from being a little bit curious, what would be like if he saw a lovebite on you, one that wasn't his?

You playfully walk over to White and sit down beside him, the bruise on your neck on show

You were hoping he would notice you, but unfortunately, he didn't

So, you decided to move around next to him, reaching into your pockets to look for something that wasn't there, and tucking your hair behind your ear

"You're moving around too much," White complains

"I'm sorry, I can't get comfy,"

"And why are making that bruise so obvious, you've never been so proud of one before now, you're not trying to gain my attention are you?"

"What? You mean the small mark on my neck?"

"That's not small,"

"And when did I imply that you were what caused it?"

That question made White's smug expression fade, leaving behind one that was much scarier

"Who do I have to kill to make you understand you are only mine?" White's hand grabs onto your jaw. "I'll let this mistake slide, but don't think I'll ever be able to forgive-"

"It's a prank! It's a prank! I would never dream of betraying you,"

"Don't toy with me, (Y/N), or I might have to treat you really roughly, and give you lovebites that you'll be unable to hide,"

How could someone go from frightening in a scary way to frightening in an exciting way?

Either way, you weren't trying a prank like that again, your relationship wouldn't survive that, and maybe you wouldn't either

don't steal anything I write or translate on another platform

[annisrealandsoami]

When I had originally been apart of the deh fandom, I hadn’t thought about the implications of what he did.

Spoilers, obviously. He didn’t mean to lie. Evan had made a dumb mistake, that at the time could’ve easily been fixed.(with an extremely awkward conversation. Or just not continuing the lie.). He instead, doubled down.(rookie move) Okay, he’s now lying to a grieving family. Let’s make fake proof that he’s not. Then let’s make even more fake evidence of a friendship that never existed. Let’s then get so invested in the lie that it over shadows the actual victim. Let’s get ‘Conner’ trending online, and then have to make even more fake evidence. Let’s implode every relationship you have, because of all this bullshit. Then after everything, come clean to the grieving family you have been fucking lying to for all this time.

Not to mention that he dated Conners sister immediately after he died, under guise of his friend. Zoey didn’t even like Conner, but Evan used his supposed connection to him to get close. Zoey just wanted to move on. And Evan couldn’t.

Was it the attention he was finally getting? It’s not even a good enough excuse or reason for his actions.

Conners memory is completely covered with Evan’s bullshit. The orchard is based on Evan’s lies. Like what the fuck?

And I know funerals and memorials are more about the living than they are actually about the dead, but the amount of continuous lies this man said, bonkers.

But when you’re 13, you just listen to the catchy songs and not really absorb the context.

Until randomly you listen to ‘Good for You’ and no longer can understand why Evan did all of it. No longer can sing along to Evan as he laments about how he feeling the consequences of his actions(which was your favorite part to sing for so long.)

There is no redeeming him, and maybe that’s the point. He did make good lasting change, but that doesn’t erase how he got there. How the good does not outweigh the horrendous mistake he made, then continued to make.

And yeah, he painted Conner in a good light, but he still painted over his memory. According to book, Conner was misunderstood, and maybe eventually his family would come to realize that. But to rewrite him? The dude didn’t even write a note. Dead men tell no tales. He was done. And Evan basically wrote self insert fanfiction of them being friends.

Why did I breeze past this? Why was I okay with it? I used to like Evan’s character. Used to relate to him and his social anxiety.

Sorry for ranting, but this occurred to me a while ago and I can’t stop thinking about it.

[grimmgrinningghouls]

actually this gets its own post cause its annoying asf. I fuckin hate this "big, strong, dominant Weiss" trend so much. She's a badass character, but she's not the domineering scary figure yall like to portray her as. And Ruby especially is not the dainty, dense, little kid that she's often paired with.

Its such a betrayal of both characters to portray them as such. Ruby has proven time and time again she's mature, smart, and more than just a cookie-loving, air-headed child. This isn't even just whiterose the entire fucking fndm treats Ruby like this and it never fails to make me mad.

She's more mature than half the damn adults in the series. Rubys goofy, she's cheerful, but by no means is she a dumb kid. I thought it'd get better after v9 but no it legit just got worse with how people treat her mental breakdown. They act like its a tantrum and not what happens when a 17 year old gets pushed to her breaking point (This is in part thanks to moist critical tbh. Thanks for that man)

And then there's Weiss. Where did you get it in your head that she was some kinda badass, strong, dominant figure who orders everyone around and treats Ruby more like a fucking pet than a human being. Cause like she's not. She has always respected Ruby as her leader and she knows better than anyone how mature Ruby is.

The only time Weiss has ever been that kinda character was in Ice queendom in a fake reality, and that was her own power fantasy and not who she actually was. Yes, Weiss is strong, and she takes no shit but she's not this figure of power she's usually portrayed as.

This isn't even that stupid top/bottom bullshit people like to jump on every hiatus. Its just a really fucking annoying way people portray and show these characters that completely goes against the show entirely and I hate it.

And before someone comments "its just hc's and fanon let people have fun" I am a hater this is my blog, and I shall say whatever the fuck I want. Block me and move on.

[cupuacu]

loooove december break!! i genuinely thought this was one of the most mentally exhausting semesters of my life. it felt like it was never ending yet at the same time like i had 100000 things to do and send it over to the professors like yesterday. and i have never been so bad at communication as i was the past 6 months. i'd forget to say things and when i could say them i chose not to. literally snowballed itself into horrible hurried projects. it all started so chill i literally didn't worry that 1) laptop wasnt working 2) only signed in for two classes 3) i needed to change my table and chair because my back is RUINED. of course that all got solved along the way but it'd be easier if i had fixed those three things back in july break, i think i'm a masochist when it comes to things like this, i see the whip coming and i just stand there motionless. like as soon as it was 12:01 02/12/2023 i felt like i needed to scream freedom lol

then these days honestly i didn't even feel anything at all (other than that temporary extreme relief that it was over). because it just all feels so pointless. i will go thru all of this again next semester because i'm already fucking up now (signed for classes i know i can't handle because everyone tells me "i need to challenge myself if i want to get better", signed for mandatory unpaid internship as if the PAID one i did last year didn't absolutely kill me). part of me just wants to finish this stupid fucking shit by next year (impossible bc i still have like 20 classes left to do). i love architecture but university really sucks your soul out. they (society and the job market) kill your inspiration then they kill your will to live. i look around this city and everything is so ugly and useless and not functional and it tries so hard to look clean and modern it ends up just being fake and empty. if i go into private stuff i'll get insane clients that'll want the ugliest dumbest shit ever built, if i go into the public one the government has no sense of self and just tries to copy whatever's trending on the southeast/south or usa/europe as if it would work or as if they had money. like jesus christ think locally. all these ugly glass boxy buildings are gonna be the end of us, these dumb empty parks are doing more harm than good, stop restoring historical buildings if you're just gonna abandon them again. if i see anything in a beige palette i go in a rabid rage like where is the life where's the originality? sure overly-regional things can be cringe and people in the north and especially in my city have a terminal case of vira-latice. ideally i'd have started uni in 2017 and finished it in 2021 and moved on to whatever the future may hold but im MENTALLY ILLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! did 2 semesters then took a gap year then came back to uni and i'm just as lost as i felt in 2017. I FEEL STUCK IN TIME!!!!!! sure if i had done it "normally" i wouldn't even be here because i would have For Real killed myself. to be quite honest i didn't even think i was gonna make it past 13 years old and here i am 10 years later pushing thru it and all i got from it is that i should've thrown myself out of the damn 15th floor of a building when i had the chance in 2013. like genuinely genuinely speaking whenever i look around whenever i go out society and the world just seems to get worse. i can still see beauty in some things but it feels like staring at a small flower in a world where everything is destroyed. i can distract myself as much as i want to but the sense of doom and the sense of me being a waste of a life NEVER goes away.

and on the topic of distractions i have been using my phone so much it's making my brain go insane so i'm trying to not use it as much (12h screentime.....) sadly i haven't been able to focus on drawing or reading or writing or doing anything that is "by me for me" because i cannot focus. i feel soulless yet so depressed. seeing dead bodies and people fighting and suffering so hard just to live daily definitely made it worse but i feel bad saying that because it's like 'oh no this horrible thing is happening and i can't do anything except watch' bc there's ppl Going thru that horrible thing. i will always have an undying respect for palestinians and i think in fact watching all this made me realise how resiliant and strong ppl can be. and also how evil some ppl can be, i have never seen someone as inhuman as z**nists like the more i learn the angrier i get. and this is silly but sites like twitter (for me at least) there were a endless stream of them. no matter how many i blocked there would always be more. here at tumblr i guess i curated my dash very well and i don't use the for you tab here so i don't see them at all (thank god). yet you'll always find out someome at staff is a z**nist or something like that (same happens in other sites) and it's wow no matter how good my dash/timeline is these are all still a morally failed site owned and/or run by losers and i wish i wasn't as chronically online so i'd delete every account on every website and never use the internet again.

the only thing that has made me sort of zone out and forget life is gaming. i've been playing stardew valley like my life depends on it and sadly i can't even put mods on switch so i'm genuinely #grinding. i'm on year two winter and i got so much stuff already (my first time playing had me on year four fall and i didn't have half of what i have now). also last month my mom bought ssd cards for our laptops and i was able to redownload genshin so i'm playing it a lot again. i really missed kazuha and xinyan i feel like i have a slight delusion thing where characters genuinely bring me joy. also i haven't played genshin in sooooo long my hands forgot how to use the keyboard (and i've been losing fine motor skills lately but i'll talk about that later) and i was so used to playing zelda that i mixed up some of the world dynamics. i'd be like where are the sky islands i need to look at the map from above, why can't i mark things far away with a camera so i can check later, how do i see hero's path i need to know if i've been here before, why is it so hard to aim, why can't i parry, why don't the enemies drop decent loot. and also i'd be annoyed by common genshin stuff like the endless amount of text and dialogue like my GOD let me skip. i don't care!!!! i stopped reading text after the raiden shogun quest now i just skip everything!!!! why are the cutscenes so boring!!!!! why is every archon quest the same!!!!! but i love open world games. i love long quests. i love exploring. i love puzzles. hate the gacha system though. i haven't played in over a year and i thought when i'd come back there'd be 27827383 notifications and primogems STACKED for me to use and yet i wasnt surprised when there wasn't anything bc mihoyo is the worst company on earth and capitalism is the end of us. kinda sad i missed the birthday event and lost a cute fontaine companion though. by the way the flying and diving system is so broken (to me at least) and it's sooooo uncomfortable. my fingers are on the WASD keys and the space key and the shift like jesus christ this sucks. i got too used to using the switch and having a controller and the gyroscope and the comfort of it all lol.

the fine motor skills worsening started this year i think. i can't pinpoint exactly why or when but i think it was a mix of a bunch of things. i've been sedentary my whole life so my bones and joints are all fucked. i've been sitting ans standing wrong my whole life and my bones/muscles just adapted to it so now when i try to fix it, it hurts like hell. i'm pretty sure one of my legs is way shorter than the other. back to my fingers, i noticed that i wasnt able to type on my phone as fast as i did in the past. couldn't move them that fast anymore. felt like there was some sort of lag or glitch on the brain-to-hand connection. didn't pay much attention to that cos who cares how fast i can type. then i wasnt able to type on a keyboard properly, then not able to hold things properly, and now my hands just feel sort of numb and/or slow compared to before. fine for me though, i feel like i need to slow down when i do projects or when i'm gaming. i always get too much into it (and often at the last minute) then my body pays the price. the last project this semester had me up for 2 days and on the verge of an psychotic episode for another 4.

oh and to top it all off my laptop hard drive decided to kill itself in the middle of the semester. it was showing signs of giving up waaaay before that and i didn't know any better and didn't look into it. i'm still very hurt over it. there were SO many photos and SO many videos and documents and audios and music. my lifetime was there. and now it's gone and i still can't believe it. so mamy personal moments and also a lot of work i made and collected just gone forever in the void that is technology. i will never be able to see the baby pictures of my dogs and i won't be able to see the videos i took when i traveled with my family and i won't be able to read things i wrote when i was 13 and i won't be able to see pictures of myself growing up over the years and i wont be able to see all the pictures i saved of my online friends and i wont be able to listen to all the music i downloaded or watch the movies i downloaded or read those pdfs and i won't be able to use the billion autocad blocks that took me years to organize and i won't be able to make a portfolio bc my work and the proof of its existence is not there and i wont be able to play the games i had in those specific save files...... its like it never existed. like i have never felt a loss like this in my entire life. literally my burning of alexandria lol they will always exist on my mind of course, but i must also be experiencing some sort of early on set dementia because i forget EVERYTHING unless it's in front of me. so there's also the loss of the loss because everything i had in that hard drive died and it will also die in my memories.

and my phone fell last month i think and now the camera app doesn't open and i havent been able to take pictures. it's funny cos after i had my iphone stolen in 2019 and had to buy the one i have now (cheap and low quality) i thought i stopped taking pictures of everything. but man these days made me realise i unconsciously photograph things. i try to open my camera almost by muscle memory then watch it close itself and glitch. now i've been trying to write things down or just memorize them, which has been hard bc of my hands and my bad brain. but it's fun. analog almost. i get to appreciate and look at things more carefully with my own two eyes now instead of "ill take a pic and look at it later". and man, is the sky beautiful!!! the leaves are beautiful, the sky is beautiful!!! even the ants on the ground are!!

and its kinda early, but i do feel my body age also. probs due to me being unhealthy and normally old = sick. my back hurts so bad for sitting and standing and existing and sitting on a bad chair on a bad table for years, im really glad for being able 2 go the doc and get physio therapy and my posture fixed. i want a tank to make me flat cartoon style, that'd fix my pain!!! my posture doc kinda is weirded out by me (im too hairy and too awkward) but the therapist doesnt care at all. theyve really be relieving my shoulder pain, i wonder if there's still a way to fix it... itd be genuinely life saving

[ladyluscinia]

So in true Tumblr fashion, my Year in Review post won't, well, post. So you guys get the bootleg I'm copy / pasting myself lol 😆

With commentary!

I posted 3,406 times in 2022

That's 1,092 more posts than 2021! (Here's my 2021 Year in Review for comparison! It's much less impressive.)

362 posts created (11%)

3,044 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@autisticandroids

@altarofrowena

@ladyluscinia

@billiewena

@treesofgreen

I tagged 3,404 of my posts in 2022

(wait which fucking two did I NOT tag???)

#spn - 1,391 posts

#our flag means death - 668 posts

#ladyluscinia - 541 posts

#izzy hands ofmd - 486 posts

#blackbeard ofmd - 333 posts

#dean - 324 posts

#destiel - 302 posts

#gifset - 216 posts

#fanart - 216 posts

#castiel - 200 posts

(I'm still a Supernatural blog in 2022, and I will be one in 2023 😘🥂)

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but i thought their initial posting was pretty interesting until one day i realized i stopped seeing it because i was blocked for crimes 😆

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I actually love that Vane is Mr. "What's in it for Me?" and openly philosophically inclined to, like, the simplest and most tangible desires, because in any other show he would be SO easy to get on your side, but in THIS show everyone is a 10 year plan double or nothing idealist so the conversations go:

Flint: "I can't give you money. I need the money for a convoluted scheme that will eventually offer all of us safety and self-governance and ideological superiority. Let me persuade you I know what I'm doing."

Vane: "No, I think I want money. Like, good luck with the rest of that, but I've got it covered. With a ship. And money."

Flint: "But what if the Navy comes for us?"

Vane: "That's tomorrow-Vane's problem, and he'll probably appreciate being richer than today-Vane if it comes up. Pay me."

Link - 493 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

#4

The lack of new Supernatural drama today despite the mass resignation of the British government is proof that Supernatural is tied specifically to American political upheaval, and now I'm wondering what is coming for us on October 11

Link - 658 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#3

[This is where I discovered that adding any images other than the header that started the post caused the draft to immediately become unsaveable, so if you want to see my dumb joke you have to click on the link]

.

You ever think of a stupid joke you just HAVE to see visualized?

Link - 859 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#2

Edward Teach Meta - Remember Edward Hasn't Always Been a Muppet...

...and honestly he's still just mostly faking it.

I see a lot of posts about the whole dichotomy of Ed vs Blackbeard, and - because I live in the Izzy Hands tag for this show - a lot of it takes a very... simplistic (?) approach. Mostly along the lines of Ed is a traumatized real guy who just wants love and softness while Blackbeard is the violent persona he puts up because he thinks he has to (and Izzy makes the situation worse with a fixation on a fake person).

This... does not really make sense to me. For one, if we're going to acknowledge "Blackbeard" is a persona then we should probably acknowledge "Ed" is equally fake. The dichotomy is two wildly different masks, and the same real Edward is behind them both. And I want to talk about that guy.

Warning - this got insanely long

---

Link - 884 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ryan Reynolds having staff hype up his new tumblr account to users and then realizing that a shitty CW show that ended almost two years ago is trending over him in anticipation of the 5th

[Insert math lady meme]

Link - 19,855 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

---

Of course that fucking meme got first. Well it's technically Nov 5th posting so I suppose it could be worse. Good luck everyone with getting your own Year in Reviews to work if they haven't yet!

See you next year!

[svartalfhild]

Svar Watches BBC Robin Hood for the First Time - Season 2

Some of you may have seen my reactions to watching Season 1 for the first time. Well, here we are with Season 2:

So I see we're starting off strong with a continuation of No Rights For Marian Ever. Fucking RIP.

Holy shit Guy has gone off the deep end.

But wait! What's this? Guy finally getting a wake up call in the form of Marian saving his sorry ass from drowning because the Sheriff gives zero (0) shits about him? Amazing. I expect it will take approximately 15 seconds before the Sheriff manipulates him into backsliding.

Well, would you look at that. There he goes. Backsliding. This is probably the most heartbreaking it's ever been too. "I have no one" fucking killed me. Like Guy was this close 🤏 to becoming a better man. He was literally in the process of disobeying the Sheriff for the first time ever to save Marian, but then the Sheriff showed up, manhandled him, and reminded him of the power he holds over him, and boom, it's back to square one.

Allan out here like Don't Put Me In A Situation and then immediately proceeds to be put in several situations. Well done, dude. Get got. Nice jerkin though.

Aw, Guy, if you're going to be 0.5% nicer, don't be stupid and spoil it by getting pushy and possessive again. That's a solid 👎 from me, buddy.

I see we are continuing the trend of every man ever trying to tell Marian what to do and put her in a box. Once again, Robin is just as guilty as Guy of having his own idea of who and what Marian should be and trying make her conform to that ideal.

At this point, I think Marian should just be allowed to go feral and kill Prince John and the Sheriff. I know it won't happen, but it's what I want for her.

Allan you dumb bitch.

Okay but I did like that Little John was the one motherfucker who was like "Marian needs a hug".

Oh. Oh the Sheriff truly is an evil theatre kid. He's getting excited about doing a fake beggar bit with a bandit lady and her kids to fuck with Robin.

GUY FINALLY MADE A GOOD CHOICE! \O/ 🍾🥂🎉👏

Now do it again, I dare you, you emo bitch.

The fact that he's back to marching to the Sheriff's tune the moment he's returned makes it even clearer how abused Guy has been by him. Abuse victims often fall back to old habits and people no matter how much it hurts them, because it's familiar and figuring out how to exist outside that system is terrifying, especially when they don't have much in the way of positive support.

Okay, so Guy finding out that Marian is the Night Watchman is fucking complicated, cause like on the one hand, Marian is a fucking hero and sentencing her to death instead of protecting her is fucking evil, but on the other hand I can definitely see how Guy arrived there because now he knows that Marian lied to and manipulated him, and that means he has no friends and can trust no one and of course he's going to fall back on every evil impulse the Sheriff taught him, because to his mind, the Sheriff has been proven right about everything. That's so fucking tragic.

Lmao the Queen Mother is so thirsty for Little John. Looks like she's another kind of queen.

GUY MADE ANOTHER GOOD CHOICE!!!! Oh but Marian bungled it but rashly trying to kill the Sheriff. Goddamnit. Like yes kill the Sheriff but not like that.

WILL/DJAQ SHIP FINALLY GETS TO SAIL!!

Oh fuck yes call them all out, Much! They do take you for granted! And they're pretty mean to you a lot of the time.

Holy shit are we acknowledging Robin's PTSD?

Allan redemption arc? Okay, I guess he's earned it.

Jesus fucking christ Guy stop waffling you're killing me.

OH MY GOD GUY THAT'S THE PINNACLE OF FUCKING UP *SCREAMS INCOHERENTLY INTO THE VOID*

Well this got super fucking sad and tragic

So England is saved but Guy really went about as far off the deep end as it's possible to go, like this was me when he stabbed Marian:

Honestly didn't see it coming. What the fuck is gonna happen now???

I guess stay tuned for my Season 3 thoughts soon to be coming down the pipeline.

Edit: here's Season 3.

[imhoser]

ah. another day, another braindead sysmed thinking that 'oh the science SAYS endos aren't real!'

okay then we'll bite. where in the science and the studies done on plurality (PLURALITY, and not DID/OSDD-1 because those are two different things) does it say that non-traumagenic systems can't exist? and I don't mean some rando's carrd - I mean where are the actual scientific studies that says without a shadow of a doubt that non-traumagenic systems are impossible? if you're so fucking confident in your hate and ignorance, you'll have no problem backing up your statement with facts yeah?

go on, we'll wait.

Plurality is an internet term. I don’t know how you expect people to find scientific sources that include a non-scientific term. That’s fuckin dumb. If there’s no known scientifically proven variants of the disorder, as there’s no reason to question since there’s only a few proven without a doubt causes, then how am I supposed to find a source? You’re grasping at straws. Sources that discuss DID are good sources actually, because it discusses the process of creating systems as a whole and disproves any external causes for the system creating process. But that isn’t good enough for you, because you want to debate upon something purely hypothetical- and thus useless. Goddamn cocky bastard

Anyways this source is good.

Two quotes:

1. “Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a chronic post-traumatic disorder where developmentally stressful events in childhood, including abuse, emotional neglect, disturbed attachment, and boundary violations are central and typical etiological factors.”

The quote itself does not imply any other unknown factors, it is a list of known factors.

2. “Given the current evidence, DID as a diagnostic entity cannot be explained as a phenomenon created by iatrogenic [illness created from the medical examination process] influences, suggestibility [easily swayed/easily influenced by others] malingering [faking illness], or social role-taking [illness created to compensate roles that are not present or are needed] . On the contrary, DID is an empirically robust chronic psychiatric disorder based on neurobiological [condition of the neurons], cognitive [thought], and interpersonal [internal] non-integration as a response to unbearable stress. While current evidence is sufficient to firmly establish this etiological stance [a set reason for existence], given the wide opportunities for innovative research, the disorder is still understudied.”

The only hope for your argument is to grasp strongly into the last line, where it admits DID/OSDD is understudied. But of course every other field except philosophy is against hypotheticals, and requires definitive proof, instead of individual accounts, and in psychology it is dependent on multiple and many accounts; instead of a singular account. One account may go against the study’s findings, but if that outlier is just an outlier and not a trend, it can be considered a special case and not relevant. Science focuses on the whole. Hypothesis’ can be considered hypotheticals by whatever logic, but hypothesis are there to be proven or disproven via evidence. An inconclusive result is like having never began.

Or, you could claim that you don’t have a system at all, since OSDD/DID/and other forms of the disorders are the only understood and proven forms. If that’s the case, what are you even here for?

[muffins2elecricboogaloo]

I've kinda been keeping up this whole Chase Bank 'money glitch' check-fraud thing, and it's so insane to me I can hardly believe it. I have 3 theories about the whole situation.

1. This spread organically on the internet and thousands of people were actually fucking stupid enough to commit check fraud.  This, to me, is the scariest option but I don't actually think it's the most likely.

2. It's a psyop pushed out by the government and the banks. Not that many people actually did it, the vast majority of people you saw or heard about on the internet didn't actually do it, or work and chase bank and confirmed it. I've heard up to 2 million people did it and that seems like absolute bullshit.  The government and banks used their media control to make it look like a bigger deal than it was to institute stricter financial control regulations for the average american, push towards central bank digital currencies, etc.. Times are getting tough, and more and more people are going to be pushed into committing financial crime. By using a controlled event, they can get ahead of the game and push closer towards their goal complete financial control with an excuse to do it.

3. (Imo, the most likely) A professional fraud and cyber-crime gang commited a large-scale heist agianst Chase Bank, and in a stroke of genius, pushed out a check fraud method to the internet wrapped as a 'money glitch' to convince people to commit check fraud using their own identities to help cover their tracks.

Professional level fraud is complex and requires a large team with different specializations working in unison and coordinating their attacks. Hackers use phishing, credential stuffing, cracked databases, and browser-jacking to take bank logins, passwords, and cookies. They also proxyjack the bank users' internet connection to appear as any bank transfers are coming from the victims own computer.  The team then moves all the money quickly and in unison before the banks catch on to what's going on. The funds are transferred to  aged bank accounts owned by stolen or fake identities, withdrawn, and laundered by money mules.

Another interesting thing to note is that these sophisticated, large-scale attacks are almost always done on holiday weekends, and this Chase Bank 'Money Glitch' phenomenon happened over Labor Day weekend.

By pubically releasing a secret exploit under the guise of a 'money glitch' to the dumbest people likely to use it, it overwhelmed the banks fraud department and the FBI, all while making the actual victim's themselves look like criminals that were dumb enough to take part in a viral trend, making it harder for the real criminals to be discovered.

[alvertesongdiary]

Megan Thee Stallion - HISS

I just want to kick this shit off by saying fuck y’all I don’t have to clear my name on a motherfuckin thang Everytime I get mentioned one of y’all bitch ass niggas get 24 hours of attention I’m finna get this shit off my chest to lay it to rest Let’s go

I feel like Mariah Carey got these niggas so obsessed my pussy so famous might get managed by Kris Jenner next he can’t move on can’t let it go he hooked nose full of that Tina snow and since niggas need Megan help to make money bitch come be my hoe all of you bitches is weak on the Bible talking shit from where no one can find you I could never be judged by a bitch that was dancing making R. Kelly go viral im sexy af and I’m freaky get who ever I want ini mini why the fuck would I stay with a nigga that’s weak In the sheets and don’t know how to please me bodies on bodies on bodies on bodies say he fucked Megan and now he the topic these niggas thinking they lowered the value all this free promo I’m turning a profit hate when a nigga be kissing and telling say he a playa but he in his feelings bet I won’t give up the pussy again shit should’ve gave it to his friend These hoes don’t be mad at Megan these hoes mad at Megan’s law I don’t really know what the problem is but I guarantee yall don’t want me to start bitch you a pussy never finna check me every chance you get bet yo weak ass won’t address me bitches swear the G but the G must stand for Goofy when the fuck did all the gangster niggas turn to groupies every body wanna kick it when you ain’t a threat these niggas don’t like me cause they know I’m on they neck

Y’all goofy ass hoes look so dumb every time y’all celebrate fake news, ha! Using my name for likes and views, I don’t give a fuck what y’all make trend, bitch I still win Ah!

Nigga ain’t you hear ? I ain’t scared of dick any man go against me I handle shit I’m the Teflon don in the court room they be throwing that dirt don’t shit stick all these lil rap niggas so fraud Xanax be they hardest bars these niggas hate on BBLS and be walking around with the same scars , real curvy no etching niggas fight to get in my section don’t speak on my body count is the dick ain’t worth coming back for seconds, cosplay gangsters fake ass accents posted in another nigga hood like a bad bitch ima big dog bitch can’t lil sis me hoes get views when they tryna diss me make one move gottem in a tizzy killing shit that’s why they tryna RIP me still going hard with the odds against me these niggas don’t have fans they bots these bitches don’t have ass they shots and they still tuned in if they fans or not allegations from the opposition bitch niggas just eating it up these blogs get paid to lie yall talk shit and be broke as fuck bottom line is I’m still rich do Megan bad and I’m still good bringing up who might’ve fucked and the bottom line is they still would I just wanna fuck my nigga In peace but all my old niggas still love me niggas ain’t hit this pussy in years damn I knew my shit was heat none of you niggas was wifey material none of you niggas was worth all the drama none of you niggas was hitting it raw and mad I’m not one of yo baby mamas always got my ass out always let my titties show when I’m in the gym I think about bitches that I’m shitting on I’m way too fucking cocky to take him back if he been cheating I can’t let none of you raggedy bitches think that yall my equal every since I claimed the summer all you bitches want a season ask a hoe why she don’t like me bet she can’t give you a reason you know motherfucking well these bitches wanna sound like Tina don’t you ever grab a mic and think that me and you competing

bad bitch and the walls ain’t bending post photo name, start trending why every time one of y’all z list goes do an interview I get mentioned? Ion give a fuck who think what you niggas is typing for nothing on the internet typing that shit to me write him a letter or something

Say bitch ass nigga don’t type me nothing else, don’t write me nothing else, download j pay since y’all niggas got so much to say or schedule a conjugal visit or something. Ha Ha! Dick riding ass niggas Ah!

07/02/2024

[polyhexian]

Uruehafjjfkd it's the middle of the night and one of the girls walked into the kitchen to discover another has creative an intricate witchcraft sigil to protect the house. We got a pentagram of salt on the table baby. This woman fully believes in ghosts and evil spirits. Why the FUCK did she move into a famously haunted house.

It is so fucking funny how much they just do not care one of their friends threw himself out a window

Dhjsjsfn one of the characters walks into the room and slaps his phone down. "We're trending." Tkehsbgng

FJEUWHNF VECAYSE ONE OF THE GIRLS SARCASTICALLY SAID THE HOUSE WAS HAUNTED NOW DOZENSOF PEOPLE ARE STANDING ON THEIR LAWN TAKING PHOTOS...

They're making bad tiktoks about the house... These people couldn't even make decent fake tiktoks. Just hire a twelve year old to make the TikTok for your movie

Baffling. A dude has come to interview them for his podcast. And he is filming??? I don't actually see any decent microphones. They're sitting around a coffee table. And he's filming it. With a single shotgun mic. Oh my god. Oh my godddd

Fueudhhccj he's editing on his fucking iPad with twenty dollar headphones...

JFUEJDJFJF AHHHHHH OH MT GOd

They let the podcast guy stay the night to determine if the house was haunted or not for his little show. And something attacked him in the room so he ran out yelling he was never coming back ahhh this place is so spooky

AND THEN GOT HIT BY A CAR AND DIED... UTS EVEN A FUCKING HIT AND RUN...

It has been like three days in this fucking house and two people have fucking died

One of the girls is taking a bath. a dude just died so she's taking a bath. With bath salts. Girl what time is it

Voices are talking to her and calling her a selfish dumb bitch so she has sat down in the bathtub with her clothes on

OH BOY HERE WE GO... She's plugging in the hair dryer... SHES BACK IN THE BSTH..... YEAH BABY THERE SHE GOES SHE GOES AGGGGH

OH THE NEWEST AMITYVILLE MOVIE IS OUT? YES THESE MOVIES SRE FUCKING TRASH LOL. BUT LIME. THE BEST TRASH.

boy oh boy guys we got a new Amityville movie and THIS TIME we have proved it by adding LESBIANS