#the fake DID trend is so fucking dumb

[froznwater]

post WT Alenaoh drabble

Alejandro wins World Tour and now not only does his family treat him poorly, but so does the rest of the world. Even Heather gets her bit of redemption after being "used by the evil Alejandro." But none of the shows fans like him. They can admit he was smart, yes, but ultimately someone able to play with that many peoples hearts is not a good person. Twitter trends with phrases like 'rigged', 'not my tdw', and 'slippery eel' for weeks after his victory. His phone number gets leaked, bombarded with hateful messages, and his car gets keyed during the ten minutes he takes to run into his local mall to pick up a gift for his mother on her birthday. Tiktok makes 'plot twist' edits of him. Where it begins with him, but ultimately switches to another of his precious peers after they "shut him down" and the entire concept is just one big fuck Alejandro party in the comments. Hundreds- thousands of greasy idiots belittling him for their enjoyment. He doesn't even post on Instagram anymore. Too pussy to entirely turn off the comments and let the world think they've won, he just buries the app deep in a folder and leaves it untouched. Eel. Fake. Bop. I'm doing it, are you? How many letters in Alejandro? Is that oil I see? Noah = 8.

Some people even show up at his house. His father hires bodyguards and demands the police to patrol the area, but blames Alejandro for all of it. This is all your fault. You were too careless. You should have done this. You shouldn't have done this. Look, this person figured you out. Why did you say this? That was dumb. Jose would have done better. He WON, didn't he? ...Didn't he? But college starts in two months, so he rides it out as much as he can. College sucks. Everyone stares, but no one approaches unless it's some dickhead-sexist loser clapping him on the back with enough gusto that really re-whacks the reality into him every time. He's met with "Aren't you that asshole that won Total Drama World Tour a couple months ago?" any time he tries to make some friends. None of the cast reach out. It stings, but Alejandro gets it. He's not wanted. Within three weeks, he's moves to the middle of fucking no where with his cat and enrolls in as many online classes that his new mediocre college will allow. - Noah, praised for his intelligence and funny one-liners over his course of 15 minutes of screen-time, is the fan-favourite. Officially. Voted through the after-season special reunion. Even though he never made it far. In the beginning it's vaguely funny, karmatic. Him. Noah. The unlike-able "schemer." Is the one that fans edit on tiktok and quote on Twitter. After a (short)while it's annoying. He can't get his coffee before class without posing(or declining to do so) for at least two instagram photos. He can't scroll Twitter without seeing someone referencing him in the replies. "Giving slippery eel." "It's all down here from here, honey."

Even his nickname for Owen is used to fatshame people everywhere. "Lunchbox." Is commented under anyone over 100 pounds. It puts a foul taste in Noah's mouth that makes him lock his phone and touch fucking grass every time. Tiktok clips of him go viral. So not only does a lot of America know him, most of it does, as well as other parts of the big wide world. It sucks. The studio won't let it die either. They sell merch of his face. Of his sweater vest with the inbuilt button-up. Of his face on a gay flag(which the fans use as confirmation in his sexuality after demanding so from him for months and getting no answer.(He isn't even gay.)) Of his last insult to Alejandro. And, really, who actually won that fight? Noah, bisexual gay icon, who signed away all his rights to merch pay-cut? Or the man and his million dollars that hasn't been seen or heard from in three months? With love and admiration comes hate. It's piling up more and more. And the more people blindly defend him the more people that come out with their "I'm going to be honest. I didn't care for Noah from Total Drama." And Noah can deal with hate. Honestly, he can deal with it better than he can with love and people genuinely liking him. But he's seen the pattern. He knows where this is going. He goes on a few interviews he never accepted before, gets a new phone number, deletes all his social media, applies to a new college with a student count of 2,000, and retires his red sweaters.

Fuck the internet.

- You'll never guess who he sees.

[f1daydreamers]

𝐀 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨 [𝐋𝐒𝟏𝟖] 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟖

photo credits: Pinterest

Pairing: Lance Stroll × Fem!Reader

Summary: Asking the driver of the team you work for to attend a wedding with you as your fake date is possibly one of the dumbest ideas you've had ever.. but also one of the best.

Warnings: angst, Reader being very torn, lots of obliviousness, fluff, emosh, implies smut but none of it, little bit of back and forth but issa good ending ofc :')

Word Count: 4.1k words (15 mins reading time avg)

…

"What is it?"

Tom crosses his arms over his chest, glancing back at Lance and eyeing him suspiciously through the car door window.

He's occupied with his phone but his foot is tapping impatiently against the floor mat in the car.

"Now would be a great time to spit it out," you regain his attention through gritted teeth. Your patience was wearing thin, you had somewhere to be and your ex was holding you up frustratingly slowly.

He lets out a sigh, his eyes darting over your face. He seems on edge.

"I was on Instagram yesterday," his gaze fell to the concrete pavement underfoot and you shrug.

"Congratulations." You retort sarcastically and Tom brings one foot forward towards you, "did you really think nothing was going to come of it?"

You furrow your brows, "come out of what?"

He tuts, finding your stubbornness to read between the lines all the more familiar from when you used to date.

"You and Lance on a 'romantic getaway', maybe you've fooled everyone else but you haven't fooled the press." He air-quoted with his fingers and you felt like the wind had knocked the breath out of your lungs.

"I-I don't see your point." You raise a subconscious barrier, certainly overcome with the realisation that agreeing to speak to him was a big mistake.

Your jaw clenches and you resist the urge to look around you, as if you were going to find a camera blinking back.

"It got online, Y/N. Started from Daisy's Instagram story to the most trending topic on Twitter." He explains, with a level of smugness in his voice that you can't help squinting your eyes at.

He caught you in a lie, but right now, that was the least of your worries.

Fists form by your sides and panic begins settling into your chest. "And how did it get on Twitter in the first place?" The distaste in your tone when you bit back was surely evident.

Bit by bit, you start to feel a sense of chaos enveloping you, like you've somehow misplaced the capacity to hold everything together.

He shrugs mutely but the quirk of his lip makes you think he had a bigger part to play in this fuck-up disguised as a Monday morning.

As your gaze falls, you avoid meeting his eyes again, even when he nudges your arm to recover your waning attention. Detached, you're occupied in crafting a plan to get through the remaining six hours you have left with Lance.

Once that time is up, you'll be free from any scrutiny, whether it be from the media or your family, and finally be done with him.

With all of this.

...

You shouldn't have been so disengaged but you couldn't help it, your thumb endlessly scrolling through Twitter, confirming what Tom had been telling you earlier.

You'd seen only one or two tweets unrelated to the topic since you opened the app a few minutes ago.

You swallow, locking your phone and looking up from your lap. You try to involve yourself in your siblings' conversation but fail miserably, your wandering mind not allowing you to do such a thing as ignore this mess.

Lance is laughing at a video Kevin is showing him, and you wonder if he's seen anything about it yet.

He'd been on his phone in the car after your conversation with your ex had ended, and the object had been with him ever since. You were at the very least surprised nobody had even messaged him yet.

Unless he was playing dumb.

"Y/N, what time you heading out?" Your mind is in a bit of a scramble when your mother perks up with a question, meeting her eyes, you can't help but stutter.

Lance steps in.

"8 o'clock. We're both heading back to the factory." You're grateful but he eyes you questionably, you've had tougher questions than that come at you this weekend.

He smiles at the irony but you don't return it, looking away.

His eyebrows knit together and he presumes whatever your ex had told you was what'd gotten you in a distant mood, he makes a mental note to ask you about it later.

You can feel his eyes trained on you until your brother whisks him away into another conversation.

...

The ride back home's quiet, with the radio airing fresh songs whose lyrics you're not entirely familiar with. However, their tunes are infectious, prompting your fingers to rhythmically tap along.

Lance fidgets with the leather material of the steering wheel, glancing at you every now and again.

After a while, he stretches his hand to the volume knob, reducing it. You sigh inwardly, knowing that he'd picked up on your subdued mood at breakfast, which meant the upcoming conversation was quite a predictable one.

"What did your ex want to tell you?" Lance asks, his voice curious. You press your lips together, absently twisting your cuff bangle around your wrist.

"Nothing." Perhaps if you avoided the topic for long enough, he'd drop it and choose to never touch on it again.

"You spoke for a while. He didn't say anything?" He persisted.

"Has Grace reached out to you?" You pivot away from his previous question by planting another in its place about the team's communications manager.

Lance seems confused as to why it's relevant to the conversation but answers nonetheless.

"Grace? No. Why would she?" You shake your head, not commenting further as you try to muster up a plan and the courage to tell him the truth.

You desperately hoped to avoid his anger, not wanting to sow any seeds of regret in his mind about joining you this weekend.

It's almost comical how rapidly things have unravelled since this morning.

As Lance parks a few feet away from your open driveway, you swiftly step out of the car, leaving him to catch up.

He manages to close the car door just as you round the gate, moving briskly to ascend the patio steps.

He jogs to try and keep with you, skipping the middle step and succeeding when his fingers wrap tightly around your wrist, keeping you from reaching into your bag for the house key.

"Y/N, what's bothering you?" He asks curtly.

Your jaw tightens, the conversation with your ex was replaying in your mind like a relentless torture, preventing you from forgetting it no matter how desperately you wanted to.

An uncertain feeling settles in the pit of your stomach, and you release a shaky breath, deciding to be straightforward.

"He said that-" Your words hang unfinished as you glance up at the front door swinging open. Your sister looks up from her phone, holding a plastic bottle in her other hand.

"Looks like you didn't manage to beat the traffic after all, huh?" She quips, tucking her phone into her jean pocket.

Her gaze shifts between the two of you, a hint of suspicion in her eyes, focusing momentarily on Lance's hand wrapped around your wrist.

He eases it, and Daisy casually tosses the plastic bottle into the recycling bin.

You offer an awkward smile. "Yeah, must be lunchtime at work," you explain. Daisy nods, stepping aside to allow you and Lance to pass before closing the door behind her.

"I'm going to get back to packing," you add, slipping off your flats and hopping onto the first step of the staircase.

You notice Daisy raising her finger at Lance, and you swiftly intervene, "Dais, he didn't do anything." You assert and she lowers her finger back to her side.

Despite being younger, she's remarkably swift to defend her siblings whenever necessary, often disregarding external opinions, even if those opinions are attempting to correct her misjudgement.

"Better not have," she mutters, giving Lance a once-over before heading off to the kitchen.

You release a sigh as the door creaks shut, avoiding his lingering gaze and resuming your retreat up to your bedroom to finish off packing your suitcase.

...

You delicately place your rings back into the small gaps amidst the cushions of the jewellery box, your throat tightening as the sound of Lance adjusting his gym bag reaches your ears from the distant corner of the room.

Silence hung between you both ever since he ascended the stairs a few minutes after you had entered your room.

Passing a hand through his hair, he looked up at you while you zipped up the jewellery box. You shifted to the opposite side of the bed, unlatching your closed suitcase then bending down to retrieve the laundry basket, placing it on to the bed with a gentle plop.

"Can you please talk to me? Tell me the truth or even tell me a lie, but just say something," he implores. Your shoulders slumping as you methodically fold your clean laundry into your suitcase, your actions momentarily faltering.

His voice carried a note of pleading, and your continued silence only reinforced the notion that something was wrong. It went beyond the subdued atmosphere during breakfast and the unrelated question in the car.

“The press knows, Lance.” You say firmly.

"What?" he responds, though he clearly heard every word.

You observe the shift in his expression, the gentleness giving way to a hardened look. Your words momentarily escape you, leaving you with an urge to resume folding, using it as a feeble distraction.

“What do you mean the press knows?” He says concisely and you shut your eyes, your gaze facing downward.

“About this, us, I don’t know.” your voice wavers as you try to explain..

“He told you that?” No name was mentioned but the contempt in his voice gives room for enough assumption to be made.

“Yes,” you confirm quietly.

“Of course he did.” He mutters under his breath but you hear it anyway. Your eyebrows knit together subtly, “what do you mean?”

He locks eyes with you, and if you said that the chill in his gaze didn't give you a slight shiver of intimidation, you'd be lying.

“What did I ask you when he showed up at the door? I asked you why you were still bothering with him?” He stresses breathily, overwhelmed by the situation.

“I told you it didn’t mean anything. I didn’t know this is what he’d tell me.” You counter.

“He probably had a part to play in it,” Lance assumes and you shake your head, “there’s nothing to gain. With Tom, it’s all talk. Going to the press just - it doesn’t make sense.”

“It doesn’t need to make sense, how is he conveniently the only one who knows about it?” He lowers his voice and you blink, averting your gaze. He had a point.

“I’ll talk to Grace, this’ll be fixed.” You try to assure him, picking your phone up from the bedside table.

“By doing what, telling everyone this was a lie?” He bristles and a twinge of pain overcomes your chest.

“Guess that was the whole point anyway.” he grinds out the last part of his sentence in a harsh whisper, his jaw clenching. You stiffen, his words carry a sting with them.

The realisation of the situation hits you, what he had mentioned to your mother about the challenges of maintaining a relationship in the public eye had practically come to fruition.

Though a relationship was far from what you had.

“This was all fake, wasn’t it?” you murmur, directing the question more towards yourself than the man standing before you.

"What?" He asks, having caught only a faint mumble escaping your lips. You shake your head, swallowing your words, focused on not letting them slip out again.

…

“Okay, yeah, we’re uh, we’re on our way soon.” You conclude the call, a small sense of relief washing over you after speaking to Grace.

She'd appeared relatively composed despite you having explained the situation to her in an undeniable panic.

You slide the phone face down on to the counter in the bathroom, leaning your head on the door, hoping that no one needed to relieve themselves in the next five minutes it would probably take for you to process your own thoughts.

You wince a touch as you recall the words that last fell from Lance’s mouth.

A lie was what it was, but it was strangely intense hearing it tumble from his lips.

Considering the feelings you only recently and barely had admitted to yourself and him, the weight of all of that felt as if it was coming down on you now.

But the bandage around your knee, the burden of responsibility, the dancing, the kisses, the way his gaze held you. Him. They all form as a defence argument inside your mind as you rattle through the weekend, it can't all have been fake.

You carelessly yearn for the weekend's routine – his presence, sharing laughter over the words he adopted from your uncle, the pushes into the swimming pool, the undeniable escalation of tension between you.

You realised it yesterday, though you never wanted to admit it. When his lips gravitated towards yours and his grip on your waist tightened, you realised.

You realised you’re in love with Lance Stroll. How irresponsible.

...

You quickly wipe away the tear sliding down your cheek, stealing a glance at the taxi driver who thankfully remained oblivious. You were a few minutes away from the factory, Grace emailed you this morning to call you in for a PR meeting but the topic of it was naturally foreseeable.

You hadn't yet managed to build up enough courage to text Lance, thank him for the days he wasted away to fabricate a relationship, despite it not lasting long. By the time you'd arrived back at your apartment, your sister had left you a few messages, screenshots of her Twitter feed.

She had reluctantly agreed not to inform your parents. The situation was already fraught with complexity, and having your parents involved would only make matters worse.

You offer a small, not overly enthusiastic smile as you step into the meeting room and catch sight of Lance, Grace, and the familiar members of the communications department all awaiting your arrival.

While Grace briefed everyone on the purpose of the meeting, the only faces that didn't register surprise were yours, hers, and his. You kept your gaze directed downward, fiddling with the rings on your fingers, your expression revealing nothing.

"Y/N, you mentioned you had something to share," Grace prompts, and you lift your gaze, nodding slightly. You take a moment to gauge the atmosphere in the room before you begin speaking.

"Yeah, thank you. I just wanted to say I'm uh I'm sorry for this. Perhaps I was being reckless for not thinking about the damage it might do beforehand, it was only supposed to be a simple favour." You admit, accompanied by a nervous smile.

Lance glances at you, his hands diving deeper into his pockets, inadvertently tearing apart the tissues crammed within them with his fingers.

You couldn't find any faults in their strategy to handle the potential public backlash, though at the moment, there wasn't much of it. However, Grace didn't omit the fact that the fallout could arise if indirect communication between the team and the fans was completely severed.

Several team members chimed in, contributing potential pros and cons to each of the strategies Grace had outlined. After around an hour of deliberation, with back-and-fourths aplenty, the group finally settled on the most suitable course of action.

“Lance, anything to add?” He broke his gaze away and looked up at the manager, “no. Sounds good.”

You acknowledge the fact that he seems entirely disinterested in what was happening in front of him but for good reason. You were the one who dragged him into this so in turn, it seemed unfair that he was one who had to bear the consequences of dealing with it as well.

When the meeting wrapped up, Grace allowed everyone to leave the room but you. You hoped this wouldn’t be a reprimand but you can’t deny that you had been holding a faint expectation of one.

“Y/N, I’m not that old,” your eyebrows draw together in confusion and she continues, “but I can pick up on a few things every now and again.”

You struggle to maintain the conversation, your lips parting as you respond, "I-I'm not sure what you mean."

"I'm certain this past weekend has been quite eventful, full of surprises," she emphasises, and perhaps you're leaning on the side of obliviousness because you still can't quite grasp the significance of her words.

Seemingly filled with riddles, you couldn't help but think.

“There’s a way that this entire situation could be fixed before we’d even have to step in.” Grace concedes, her words leaving a weighty impression on you, their meaning gradually becoming clearer as her sentences unfold.

“I see the way he looks at you,” she confesses quietly and you swallow.

Your gaze drops and her eyes narrow, “what is it that you’re not telling me?” Her attention to detail leaves you slightly frustrated, yet you can't help but acknowledge that it's this very trait which helps her excel at her job.

You waver in your decision, but you'd been carrying this weight within you for nearly a week. Thus, when the words begin to spill out of your mouth, you don't feel any remorse for your lack of restraint.

“He told me it was a lie. How can I tell someone who told me this was practically bullshit that I lo-” You cut yourself off, the words catching in your throat as you shift uneasily on your feet, feeling tears well up in your eyes.

"Do one better. Tell him the truth."

...

The Friday morning, two days after your brief conversation with Grace left you realising that she was right. The words you needed to express couldn't linger unsaid any longer. They had been gnawing at you, a constant replay of Lance's words echoing in your mind.

She appeared rather pleased that you chose to heed her suggestion when you approached her in the office. With her help, you managed to secure permission from the chief engineer, granting you the opportunity to visit the pit garage during track time at Silverstone.

Deciding to give him some time for his laps, you instead opted to stand on the balcony directly above the track, taking in the view. As you watched, nerves arose again upon seeing the engineers guide his car back into the garage.

It takes you a bit of time to reach the garage, as it's quite a distance to cover. However, the absence of crowds and the limited presence of other teams in the paddock make your journey a little quicker. You glance around his section of the garage, trying to spot him, but it's him who spots you first.

His smile wavers, and his ongoing conversation with an engineer comes to an abrupt stop. His race suit hangs around his waist, and his helmet rests on the counter behind him.

Navigating past a couple of engineers, you approach him, and he moves toward you with measured steps. His gaze roves across your features, seeking clues about your unexpected presence, but your expression reveals little beyond a gentle demeanour.

You take a breath through your nose, forcing a smile to greet him instead of merely gazing in silence. It's the first time you've been in such close proximity to him since the wedding day, a time that holds positive memories for a change.

"I, uh," your words falter in your throat, and you clench your jaw in an attempt to gather yourself. He remains silent, admiring.

“Do you have a minute?” You ask, a little quieter. He nods curtly, prompting you to follow him, probably to a place that wasn’t full of engineers and various personnel.

You allow him to guide you into what appears to be a communal drivers' room, presumably accessible to any driver in need. Once you're inside, he shuts the door behind you.

The confined space of the room doesn't escape your notice, but you choose not to focus on it. Instead, you concentrate on gathering your words.

Eventually, the only thing that does manage to come out is, “was it all a lie?” You ask in a whisper, though audible enough for him to hear.

Lance lifts his eyebrows in surprise, clearly not anticipating the direction that the conversation has taken. It seems your question caught him off guard.

As he remains silent, you interpret his lack of response as an invitation to elaborate on what you're asking, “what you said. There being something between us.”

He approaches you in the small space, his lips parting as he searches for the right words. “You know it wasn’t a lie.” You exhale a quiet sigh of relief, the similar emotions you’d been feeling the night on the dance floor stirring within you again.

It was a warm feeling. A comforting one.

His presence evokes memories of that night at the club, a feeling of protection enveloping you as if he were a shield of safety. However, the current proximity feels incomplete, lacking his touch on any part of your body – not around your waist, not on your arms, nor on your hips.

Perhaps, after pulling him into your mess, you deserved this sense of deprivation, as if it were a consequence of your own actions.

Several moments pass in silence within the room, a lapse in time that you're only drawn out of when he places his hand on your neck, his thumb gently tracing your jawline.

The touch pulls you back to the present, and his gaze moves from your eyes to your lips, his intention clear.

“I think I might go crazy if I don’t tell you this in the next ten seconds,” you breathily admit and Lance’s eyebrow quirks up in curiosity.

“Want me to start counting?” You scoff, a small smile tugging at your lips as you shake your head. His lack of seriousness manages to alleviate the tension slightly, making the impending conversation a touch more manageable.

"I, uh," you stutter, and he senses your nervousness, granting you a bit more time even though the ten seconds were swiftly ticking away.

"I'm in love with you," you blurt out, and a slight smile tugs at the corner of his lips. His gaze locks onto yours, the tension between you escalating threefold more than the time you had left things unresolved by the swimming pool all those days ago.

"I, uh, I didn't quite catch that," he replies and your eyes narrow. You tilt your head, offering him a silent caution. He grins, "what?"

"Don't. Don't make me do it again," you warn him playfully. A soft chuckle escapes his lips, and you can't help but smile in response.

"Why? Did you not mean to say-" Refusing to let him complete his sentence, you fist his shirt in your hand and pull him towards you. Your lips crash together in a fervent kiss, and he yields to your lead as you guide him backward until his back meets the wooden cupboard.

His hands tenderly cradle your cheeks before sliding down to your waist, drawing you closer to him. You succumb to the sensation of his touch, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of your top. The warmth of his palm against your bare skin rekindles a familiar sensation within you, one you had sorely missed.

A soft moan escapes your lips as his hand exerts pressure on your skin. "Lance," you murmur against his lips, pulling back slightly, but only by a few inches. His hand shifts to your back, preventing you from retreating any further.

Guilt washes over you as you come to the realisation that you could have had this moment much earlier. "I wish I had listened to you. I wish I hadn't heard him out," you confess, whispering.

"Hey," he murmurs, his touch gentle as he traces over the skin you only ever want him to touch. His gaze meets yours, and his eyes reflect a desire that you're certain he had kept hidden until now.

“I’m way too fucking in love with you to give a shit about that.. prick.” You chuckle softly, but his gaze remains fixed on you.

"I'd offer to take you out to dinner, but that seems like too small a repayment now," he says, and you blink, acutely attuned to his words.

“What do you have in mind?” Your fingers gently threading through his hair as your hand settles at the back of his neck.

"A few things," he replies, his smile warm and suggestive.

He continues and you blush when you feel his thumb fiddling with the band of your bra. “Just me and you, what do you say to another weekend away?”

...

A/N: AND THAT IS A WRAP! Seriously though, thank you all so much for your support during this lil mini-series, it’s truly been so motivating <33 I’ll be hard at work writing again after a lil break so this is a reminder to make you sure you take care of yourself too, and put yourself first!!

Mwah, love you all loads ;)

Masterlist

Taglist: @fantasticbouquetwitchsthings @topguncultleader @spicyclover @amirahart @softiecaro @alilstressyandlotdepressy @eugene-emt-roe @e-lisa-bettan @strolleclercs @jjsprobablywrong @carmelita-holland @flowerchild-96 @honethatty12 @gaslysainz @pierre-gasssllyy @lestappenloverr @chiliwhore @mentallyunstablebish @mcmuppet @xscorpioxmoon @ferrariloverr @rivivie @starkeyellow @vanillascreams @tororossoseb-blog @hiphopdancer101universe @hc-dutch @chonkybonky @natasharomanoffisbaebby @little-angel-07 @lxnceclercs @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @hockey-racing-fubol @honeyric3 @purplephantomwolf @mindflay3r @ttzjune @xitsyaiizax @dylylylylyly @rd14 @secretlyangrymagazine @love4lando @vildetry-06 @sharllec @aundercover @mloyer @alesainz @cinnamonroll2003 @nikki01234 @junhuilvrrr @f1-hyperfixation

[modelbus]

eyup model!! Hru?? Hope all is well… but lets get to the important shit, THATS RIGHT! ITS ME, YOUR SELF PROCLAIMED FAVOURITE ANNON, ✨🌌🌙!!! Y’know, the one that writes SUPER detailed, SUPER long and SUPER off-topic-for-the-first-half requests!!!! (If I keep this up for long enough, you’re gonna have to add a ✨🌌🌙 Annon section to your master list. /hj)

that makes me think about when I first requested, I wonder how long its been.. I THINK my first req was Cut Chaos.. one sec lemme check………

AYE IN 4(ish) MONTHS IT’LL BE A YEAR SINCE I STARTED HARASSING YOU WITH MY THINK OF BRAINS!

been a while.. I’ll need to remember to write a DUMB request in june.

SO. REQUEST. YES. I DO THAT? I DO THAT.

okay so idk how to format this but here,

She/Her pronouns for plot. y/n is honestly, REALLY bad at pvp, she’s know amongst the SBI for being.. a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but the wolf has no teeth. She likes flowers, pastel pinks, purples, and blues, she likes cottage core dresses and corsets.. So on the surface she looks like a pretty, little, innocent streamer!… yeah, no. Sure, shes pretty as fuck, but little? She is SURPRISINGLY TALL. half the fan base is fully convinced EVERY photo shes in is photo shopped, but sure enough, shes 6’4! Innocent? Say the words ‘Arson’ ‘Crime’ or ‘Manslaughter’, and you practically summon her. (Every SMP she has been on, has in-fact seen not only her enemy’s but HER OWN, Builds being blown up and/or burnt to the ground AT LEAST, 3 times.) shes also know for her ADORABLE builds (shame half of them end in ash..), her parkour skills.. and uh.. being complete garbage at anything pvp.

Well twitter being twitter, a lot of sexist 12 year old boys, and Andrew tate fans like to be.. REALLY creepy and all ‘perfect house wife’ about her. (You get the gist no more detail needed.) While they may not know it(they ignore it/pretend its fake), she’s actually quite strong in real life, often picking up her friends in irl streams and running away with them as a bit (with consent ofc)! But in minecraft, that doesn’t really show.. so naturally being the absolute fucking queen she is, about a year ‘n a half ago, she decided she was gonna be fucking great at pvp. Naturally not telling anyone but techno (so he could teach her, duh) and avoiding all pvp for a year, lead to people joking about it more often.. this didn’t bother her, it was actually perfect, she had been getting better. Like really. Danm. Better. Practicing even without techno and on an alt, and at this point? It felt natural to be disappointed at a 25 win streak.. she went from 0 to about 30-40 average win streaks.. in a year and a half.. she was dedicated, okay? Her fans did notice her getting a little rusty at parkour but they just assumed she had been to busy to practice as much.. they were right but not about what she was busy doing.. So, she obviously invited the sbi, and a few other friends (Tubbo, Ranboo and Dream.) to play a custom pvp themed game, with the stream titled ‘I haven’t pvp-ed in a year and a half, and now I’m doing it again.’ where they were split into two rounds, (y/n and techno being in both but the rest in one) all in hardcore and spawned on opposite sides of the map, having 30 minutes to gear up, before pvp was turned on, and no going to the end, no other rules than one hour to be the last one standing, they could team, they could camp, they could use tnt minecrarts, they could go to the nether, anything. it was all game.

only two people expected her to crush almost everyone. I’m not even sure if those two people were expecting her to come second one round, and WIN the other.. but with her getting half the kills in round one and losing to techno in a final battle where she held her fucking ground like a boss ass mother fucker, and winning after techno killed Dream and she ambushed him after using a god apple..

lets just say after a couple things trending, a lot of fanart and A LOT of sapphic women going crazy, nobody dared to question her dedication to proving she was a fucking force to be reckoned with again.

(It also became a very popular running joke that she got more women than any other Minecraft CC.. you don’t gotta include that just- just make it cannon.. oops, dropped my gay onto the request lemme fetch that rq..) (yes, I wrote this y/n as my fuckin dream girl, I’m a simp okay..)

haha.. ha.. BRO AT THIS POINT I’M JUST WRITING A FIC AND TELLING YOU TO RE-WRITE IT BUT MAKE IT GOOD I- feel free to change what ever, the top half is mostly just context- even if you don’t do this request you should reply to it so its not lost to the void- I.. I’m sorry man I keep doing this to you-

OH WELL JUST PRETEND THIS IS WAY SHORTER THAN IT IS OR IGNORE IT IDC EITHER WAY HOPE THIS GIVES YA INSPO POOKIE (the pookie was ironic I swear-) - ✨🌌🌙 Annon

For our one year anniversary I’ll make a special section of my master list just for you bbg <3 also don’t judge me for this title I was STRUGGLING

Pairing: what the fuck anymore Actual pairing: Fem!Reader x Cc!Phil, Cc!Tommy, Cc!Technoblade, Cc!Dream, Cc!Tubbo, Cc!Ranboo

Flower Power

You were pretty happy with who you were. A badass woman who just so happened to be the epitome of flower power? Hell yeah.

Fairy lights twinkle in the background of your setup, a wall full of vines and LED signs providing extra ambience. That’s not to mention the special keyboard—resin flower keycaps, they were on sale okay—alongside your setup in general. Even your mic had cute animal stickers on it. Well, except for the one Tommy gave you of his face? It was weird.

Right now, though, you aren’t at your cute setup. No matter how much you loved it, you were at least aware that you couldn’t send every waking moment at it. You weren’t quite that much of a content machine.

So of course you go outside to film vlogs with Tommy! Totally reasonable break from filming content: film more content!

Jokes aside, you loved hanging out with your friends. Getting dressed up just for Tommy to inevitably ruin it was practically your good luck ritual. The sheer number of skirts, shawls, and even socks he owes you is astronomical.

Today he had promised nothing messy (for once), so you took your chance. Pale blue corset embroidered with flowers and a flowy white skirt, you were practically screaming your aesthetic to anyone who looked at you. And Ranboo had given you a dandelion for your hair, which only added to it.

”Tall fuckers to the back for the photo!” Tommy shouts, and the poor bystander he roped into taking the photo stares. “Which obviously means me—“

“Get your short ass back in front.” You order, snagging his shoulders and forcing him in front of you. From your side, Ranboo snickers.

“Welcome to the club, king.” Tubbo tells Tommy before grinning at the camera.

“What the fuck.” He grumbles. “She’s hardly any taller than me!”

“Keep lying to yourself.” You put your elbow on his head, just to add insult to injury.

“Um, I got the photo I think.” The stranger says, holding Tommy’s phone out to him. He takes it without even looking at the photos.

“Thanks.” He says after you clear your throat pointedly to prompt him.

Seeing their chance to escape, the person just nods and hurries off without a single glance back. Probably glad to be rid of your wayward group of streamers and YouTubers.

“It’s a decent photo.” Tommy begrudgingly admits.

“It’s my cue to leave, actually. I’ve got plans.” Tubbo says, checking his phone.

“Why do you get more bitches than me?” Tommy whines.

“…it’s my mother.”

“And we all know I get the most bitches.” You jump in, high-fiving Ranboo blindly. You nearly hit his face, but that’s okay. It would’ve been funny.

“Oh shut the fuck up.” Tommy elbows you, all gangly limbs and pointy bones. “We’re playing Minecraft later, right?”

“Not me.” Tubbo reminds him.

“No shit. I was talking to these two idiots.”

“Hey!”

“I’ll be on.” You lean over him, looking at his phone for the time. “You’re aware we need to leave if we want to make your stupid fucking steam time?”

He looks down, eyes widening. “Oh shit!”

Just for making you run home, you blow up his house on Minecraft. For the fourth time. It was ugly looking anyway, nothing like your adorable mushroom house, so he was practically begging for it to be exploded.

It’s his fault. Always.

-

“You really want to attack me from there?”

Your hands freeze on your keyboard mid-movement, making your character in game also freeze at Techno’s words.

“Not anymore?” You laugh nervously.

“Right answer. Try this again and I’ll pretend like I don’t see you.”

PvP training was going great, and by that you mean you’ve been killed every single time by one swing of his axe. It was no secret that you were bad at fighting. Your go-to tactic was to load up on TnT and hope for the best, which met… many criticisms.

And you were sick and tired of it. It’s time to reinstate your badass reputation and become a ruthless killer in a video game. Innocent bedwars players would never know what hit them! Hopefully, at least. Right now, you’re still working on that.

“Fuck!” You exclaim as Techno kills you yet again, the respawn screen flashing up.

“If you with to defeat me, train for another—“

“I’m trying!”

-

@ GenericUsername Anyone else notice that our resident flower girl has been avoiding PvP… poor girl is TIRED of being flamed

-> @ EatingLipSkin She deserves it for how shit she is for dying to magma blocks that one time

-

Slowly, so fucking slowly, you watch your bedwars win streak increase. Slowly, you watch your skywars win streak increase.

Somehow, against literally all odds, you’re learning how to girlboss PvP. Although when you told Techno that he seemed mildly confused, but you were definitely girlbossing PvP.

Which was exactly why you knew this stream was a good idea.

After a year and a half, you were hosting a huge stream with a bunch of your friends competing in a PvP tournament. Tommy insisted on there being a prize, so whoever wins gets the highly esteemed Tesco’s gift card you’ve had in your desk for five months. A battle of true honor, of epic consequences.

“Alright guys, so here’s my plan.” You tell your stream, mining some wood to craft basic tools. Everyone has 30 minutes to gear up, then it’s an hour till the winner is crowned. With the map having a small border, you’re counting on some cheeky kills from sneaking up on others. “I mine first, stock up on iron. Make a diamond axe if I can, but mostly go for lava buckets and backup gear.”

Your plan is put into motion quickly. With the new iron veins, it’s incredibly easy for you to get geared up within fifteen minutes. Venturing back up to the surface for food, you spot Tubbo without any armor killing sheep.

Perfect.

Sneaking to hide your name tag, you venture up a tree to get closer to him. You added a proximity mod, so you can hear him talking to his stream.

��We need lots of food, chat. All these guys— these guys don’t know the importance of food!” He’s saying. It’s a smart plan; if only you weren’t planning on killing him and taking his food.

“Hi Tubbo!” You shout, dropping down and killing him with a few swipes of your axe. “One down, just a few more to go!”

As people die left and right—most dying to you, to everyone’s surprise—you pointedly avoid Technoblade. The student will never surpass the master, after all. All your tricks came from his playbook and you really didn’t want to see how competitive he’d get for a gift card he’d never even use.

Dream was slain by Technoblade

Your eyes widen in surprise at the chat message, quickly stretching your fingers to press tab and bring up the list of players left alive. Only yours and Techno’s show.

“Oh no.” You breathe, freezing. “Oh God, chat. I have to murder Technoblade. I have to disassemble his organs and destroy his aorta.”

Suddenly, you’re paranoid as all hell. Randomly going into F5 as you kill cows, checking every angle.

“The student thinks she can challenge the master?” Techno asks, and you shriek in surprise as he digs up from below you.

“I fucking knew you’d say that! You predictable pig!”

“But you didn’t know where I was going to come from.” He points out. You know him well enough to detect the faint line of amusement in the words.

You groan, eating a steak. “Let’s dance, Technoblade.”

“Let’s die, actually.”

He comes at you with an axe, immediately disabling your shield. In retaliation, you swap to a fishing rod to lure him back in when he tried to run off.

As the two of you fight, you find yourself getting closer to your monitor, keeping your mouth shut as you concentrate. Fingers flying across the keys, you scroll to your lava bucket and attempt to burn him. By some miracle, he manages to avoid it and get a hit in on you.

“Oh my God.” You breathe at seeing how many hearts it takes. “Is that fucking enchanted?”

“Is yours not? Get good, nerd.”

You jump past him, placing a quick block to act as a barrier as you smack him with your own axe. Diamond, so it should make up for the difference in strength of his enchanted iron axe.

He loops around a tree, but you momentarily lose track of him. “Where the fuck—?”

As you notice your hearts depleting, you whirl around. Instead of doing the smart thing a retreating, you jump forward and crit him out. If he were any other player (cough cough, Tommy), he’d run. But he’s Technoblade. And all he does is crit you in return, killing you.

“Fuck.” You groan, leaning back in the chair.

<Technoblade> If you wish to defeat me train for another 100 years

Rolling your eyes at the chat message, all you can do is wait for the server to be reset with a new map and everyone living again.

You do the same tactic again, gearing up as quick as possible. It seems like other people have stolen your idea, but go about it in different ways based on the achievements. In the chat, you watch as Ranboo gets the achievement for entering the nether and then Tommy gets it right after.

“I will gift twenty subs if one of them isn’t dead within… five minutes.” You wager to your chat, laughing slightly. They’re still busy freaking out that you placed second last round, making you smile. “Guys, what’s wrong? You didn’t think I’d get kills? What am I known for if not manslaughter?”

A few minutes later—just under five minutes, might you note—Ranboo’s death message pops up. And then so does Tommy’s. Ranboo was killed by Tommy, but apparently Tommy burned to death? You can definitely picture his dumb ass walking into fire.

“Well… looks like I’m aiming for Phil.” You sigh. “I’d feel too bad to kill Tubbo again. But I’m not fucking with Dream or Techno— losing fights and all that.”

You start mining up to the surface, digging through some deep slate you had gone through. “Wait, is this wood?” You ask, scrolling to your axe to mine through the oak planks. You mine directly through a mineshaft, gasping in surprise. “Oh!”

There’s a chest in a minecart right in front of you, so you open it, hoping for some cheeky diamonds. You’ll even take wheat; food is food.

“Oh my God!” You shriek, probably bursting more than a few eardrums. “A god apple— oh my god! We’re fucking winning this one, guys! Cower at my name! But first we’re getting out of here before a spider kills me.”

You run around for a few minutes before stumbling into Dream and promptly running the other way directly into Phil’s house. Why he was building a house on a PvP server? You’ll never know.

“Oh, hi mate, what’re you doing?” He asks, hands empty of any weapons. You scroll onto your flint and steel silently. “Listen. We can talk about this. You don’t need to do this.”

“It’s too late, Philza Minecraft.” You answer, lighting some of the logs on fire. “Should’ve made it out of stone!”

Turning, you light the ground under him on fire then scroll over to your axe. He’s not expecting it, and although he gets a hit in with his empty fists, you still kill him.

“Just Techno and Dream left now.” You note. “Let’s just… hope they battle it out.”

To keep yourself occupied as you wait for the last five minutes before the borders shrink, you start setting cows on fire and collecting flowers. Poppies and dandelions fill your inventory, your little good luck charms.

“Alright guys. Someone go sneak into Techno’s chat and snitch on what’s happening for me.” You laugh, shaking your head. “Kidding, kidding. Don’t do that.”

Just as the one-minute warning pops up I no chat, Techno’s death message does. You gasp loudly, before grinning. “It’s my time to shine! I’ll avenge Techno!”

The world border starts to shrink behind you, but you’re already on the move. Knowing Dream, he’ll probably be in the center of the map. If you can catch him while he’s looting Techno’s body, you have no chance of losing.

“Stop saying good luck chat, I don’t need any good luck.” You grin, spotting Dream’s name tag. “I’ve got skill.”

Before you throw yourself at him, you eat your enchanted golden apple. If you trade blows, you’ll end up winning with the extra health. And two hearts is all you need.

“Ohhhh Dream!” You shout, catching him with a swing of your axe as you jump past him.

“AHH— what the fuck? Where did you come from?” He runs after you, making you do awkward jumping around to avoid his fishing rod.

“Stop! Stop that, I can’t— Dream!”

“Are you regenerating? Did you go to the nether?” He asks, and you can’t help but smile.

Because God apples don’t just give you extra hearts; they give you regeneration.

“I did one better.”

You hit him with your axe again, trading blows with him just like you thought you might.

“You’ve got to be low, how low are you?” He asks, hitting you again, but it’s too late. His body explodes on his death, his items flying out everywhere. You throw your chair back, jumping up and shouting.

“SUCK MY FUCKING DICK HATERS! I’M THE NEW PVP GODDESS AROUND HERE!”

-

@ WomenLover MOMMY? SORRY... MOMMY? SORRY

->@ TheRealBIcon dont be sorry we all thinking it she HOT HOT

@ S4pph1cSarah Anyone else see that fanart of her winning the PvP tournament… woo boy…. I’m… not okay…

@ S4pph1cSarah A thread of the HOTTEST fanart I’ve ever seen of our beloved streamer <3

@ SmexyWomenNearMe Me: “where is she?” “Her parkour skills are rusty how odd” “she’s streaming less” Her: “Watch this fuckos I’m badass and a killer”

->@ TwilightReference ”this is the face of a killer Bella”

@ CottagecoreBadass Can we talk about how dedicated she is? Like yeah she’s hot. So hot. But she’s also insanely badass and commited???

->@ CuteBuilder101 Best type of woman fr fr ->@ StarAnon Cottagecore + badass + chaotic force of nature = her (my dream woman)

@ StarAnon She really just drew all the women lovers outta hiding huh

@ ThisIsTheWriter Idk if I want to be her or if I want her but man. Oh man. I’m so bi.

[randomthefox]

Remember when Ian Flynn wrote the Megaman comics, and he disabled Quickman along with many others like Geminiman and Magnetman? That PISSED me off. These characters had SO MUCH potential, but this dick-head had to come up with the pathetic excuse to disable them. "Ohhoh I don;t want to be good because that ain't Quickman" Well bitch, it's called a redemption arc. Maybe you've heard of it? Because you're obsessed with it?

Yeah the Archie Megaman comics were some of the worst shlock garbage you could ever imagine. There's a reason even Ian Flynn fans don't bring them up in any kind of specifics. You'll SOMETIMES see them saying "oh Ian Flynn is such a great writer, he even did the Megaman comics!" in that way that studio executives will say that Kevin Smith is a great director because they saw a movie poster that had Kevin Smith and Bruce Willis's name on it. But they'll never actually explain anything about the comic, they just expect you to take it on faith that Flynn is a good writer because he wrote a Megaman comic; if you asked them to explain WHY the Archie Megaman comic was good, they'll start spluttering. Because they didn't actually fucking read it.

I fucking read it and it was dogshit, just like everything else Ian Flynn has ever written. Featuring Ian Flynn staples such as: literally straight up fucking plagiarism. (This is actually WORSE than his USUAL trend of shoving song lyrics into everyone's mouths in the Sonic comics, because AT LEAST in the Sonic comics they're OFFICIAL songs produced by SEGA. This is a FAN SONG from an INDIE BAND and he's just straight up STEALING THEIR LYRICS WITHOUT PERMISSION.)

An overemphasis on comic original characters that aren't from the games who literally nobody gives a shit about except Ian Flynn because he obviously has no affection whatsoever for the video games and would rather write his own dumbass characters instead of the games cast.

A mary sue self insert love interest who is responsible for the redemption arc of a main character who is inserted into their existing story from the games and is now completely reorienting that existing story to revolve entirely around this OC.

Pointless melodrama

Blatant and overt inexcusable contradictions of the video game continuity that demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ian Flynn has NEVER ACTUALLY PLAYED THESE GAMES HIMSELF BEFORE IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE AND KNOWS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT THEM (seriously Bubble Man is defeated by Leaf Shield, a weapon that he is actually IMMUNE TO)

OOC behavior from the video game cast (no this isn't some kind of fake out where it's an imposter or it turns out he's brainwashed or something, this is actually Rock under his own agency.)

And last but not least; potentially interesting ideas that are never properly delved into or explored, and if you brought up that you were disappointed about this to Ian Flynn he'd tell you this is a dumb baby comic for infants and to go read something for adults.

And that's just the tip of the ice berg.

The Archie Megaman comics were JUST AS BAD as the Sonic comics Flynn writes, for all the same reasons. And I mean ALL the same reasons. Ian Flynn PROUDLY admitted to NEVER PLAYING A MEGAMAN GAME IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE. His "research" for the Archie Megaman comics was wiki binging and WATCHING LET'S PLAYS.

The Megaman comics are a monument to what an absolute unrestrained HACK FRAUD Ian Flynn is as a writer. Fucking look at this fucking panel for fucks sake.

Jesus H and a fucking Christ.

[lubotomies]

i could be remembering this wrong but wasnt there a trend with badly written tord redemption shit where edd & matt forgave him IMMEDIATELY and tom was portrayed as the bad guy for not also doing that

absolutely correct and you could place money on the bet that it would still be tomtord. also tord would also be unintentionally incredibly guilt-trippy because they wanted him to hate himself for betraying them but cant write nuance so heres my impression of a 2018 tomtord panic attack tord redemption fic that lacks any substance:

''Tom... I-I'm-''

''Sorry?'' Tom interrupted with a snarl. ''Shove it up your arse. I don't want your fake remorse.''

Fake...?

Oh... His chest was feeling tight. His organic hand moved up towards his own heart instinctually, gripping the fabric. His robotic arm reached out to him.

''I-I assure you, my remorse is not fake... I genuinely feel bad for what I've done to you...''

Tom whips around, and Tord stumbles back, startled. Tom takes a few steps forward, closing the distance between them again, jabbing his index finger in his chest.

''Bull. Shit. You don't feel bad at fucking all. You're the same old bastard who blew up our house, killed our neighbour, punched Matt and betrayed Edd's trust! Even if you did feel bad,'' his finger leaves his chest as his hands move up to mime air quotes. ''Feeling bad doesn't undo all that. Feeling bad doesn't make you changed, and it doesn't make you better, it doesn't mean you've learned your lesson and it certainly doesn't mean people should forgive you!''

Tord finds it difficult to breathe now. His heart is thumping in his ears, he thinks if he put his fingers on his wrist to feel for a pulse they'd spring back from the force of his heartbeat. He bites his lip and bows his head as it heats up with shame.

Tom's venomous words have not stopped there.

''You want to make it up to everyone? You want it to be even? Then fucking KILL YOURSELF!!!!'' He punctuates by shoving Tord to the ground.

''I'm sorry.'' Tord whispers. His hands move up to his hair, gripping it tightly as he draws his knees up to his chest. ''I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.''

Tom quirks a brow.

The words tumble out without much thought. ''You're right. I-I shouldn't have come back. I shouldn't h-have asked for forgiveness. I'm worthless, I'm a s-sack of shit.'' He says, still hushed but at least audible. He sniffs, and a hand moves from their place in his hair over to rub away his tears. ''Everyone would be better off if I killed myself. I ruined your lives, and now I'm back making them worse a-again.''

and then it ends with tom feeling bad and trying to forgive tord all the while tord continues to do this dumb ass self-deprecating whining and snivelling and at least 1 panic attack per chapter because tom says cartoonishly evil shit so tord gets his redemption via ;;_;; im sawwddd and have anxwiettyyyyy guilt tripping everyone around him into forgiving him and making them walk on eggshells because if you dont forgive him for murder he'll be saaaaaadddd 😢

[onemorecupofcoffee]

k so once a complete unknown comes out idk what i'll do. first off i have no idea if ill be hyperfixated on bob but it's been a LONG hyperfixation so yknow. maybe. and it's honestly only probably gonna be a year bc theyve made us wait sooo long and theyre done with filming and theyve recorded most if not all the songs and post production shouldnt take long bc theres not like huge cgi shit so. which means theres a good chance itll be out before winter 2025 . now i have irl friends who are timothee fans who want to see the movie when it comes out. so a lot of timothee fans will def go see the movie, but the general population?. i honestly dont know its def marketed more towardsa general audience but like its not like wonka was the biggest movie of the year or anything or the songs went off the charts. but my prediction is that one dylan song that wasnt as popular before will trend on tiktok or something bc timothee covered it and timothees version will become more popular than the og. idk which song bc im honestly not sure if theyre gonna do just any bob song or only the era presented in the movie. if its the era in the movie i think its gonna be an another side of bob dylan song bc that entire album is pretty underrated, except for my back pages it's not that popular for dylan, and it has a lot of lyrically amazing songs. im thinking maybe i dont believe you she acts like we never have met, n it would make sense to play in the movie. but it could be any song , like if theyre playing all eras bob then probably one of his newer songs. But a lot of timothee fans are like ok someones gonna get an oscar for something and im like . ugh no. but its a possibility bc oscars suck so then it would obviously become even more popular. theyre not gonna depict dylan correctly though and then people are gonna believe a scene in the movie actually happened and its like NO IT DIDNT just like the doors movie holy shit i hate that movie . but it could be decent it could turn out ok despite the horrid casting . do i think theyre gonna play other songs yes!!! not just dylan other baez, other folk songs definitely it actually seems like they paid attention to some things. the fashion was not it but the set decorators did an amzing job actually so it seems like there was SOME work that went into this movie. now i thijk theyre gonna end it at newport folk festival but they should end it at motorcycle accident but whatever . but its gonna be like mainl dylan i think but they said its an ensemble piece meaning its also gonna be focused on joan and fake suze rotolo/sylvie/ whatever the fuck her name is. and pete seeger bc hes been in a lot of the paparazzi pics so?. hes there too. and maybe woody guthrie hopefully woody guthrie obviously woody guthrie and they filmed in new jersey so its kinda like yeah. but hes gonna be sick so theyre not gonna really show him but theyre gonna show dylan meeting him. i dont think theyre gonna really show dylans childhood, yea timmy went to hibbing but everyone knows dylan lied a lot so no one knows anything about his childhood really. i think the main romance plot will literally just be bob being like choosing between joan and sylvie or some boring shit like that and theyre not gonna understand the weird fucking relationship bob had with joan or anything. but its gonna be dumb straight love triangle bc the writers are boring and not like im not there todd haynes where haynes understood dylan was queer as fuck and made multiple references to dylan being queer insome way theyre not gonna do that. and timmy will NOT top cate blanchett ever but he might win the oscar even though cate literally deserved that oscar. So the world will explode if it gets popular and then someone will cancel bob dylan or something . and bob dylan dies after seeing it "the worst experience of my life" and theyre gonna botch and popify the songssooo bad but theyre gonna get so popular its so dumb everything is dumb and then bob dylan will have a dumb modern resurgence but by people who dont know anything about him

and wont care to learn aside from that dumb biopic im sorry im welcoming new fans but i feel like theyre just gonna not actually wanna learn about him aside from timmy biopic . And its like. come on. but his records will get more popular and more valuable i mean gen z listens to a lot of physical media maybe his tour might be more popular too if hes still alive so in general people are like hey this guys pretty good or something but then everyone will kinda forget about him but sokme people will stay. i think . and then its like some weird shit gets out about him again he says something out of pocket about the biopic and then everyones like thats Odd. and the biopic keeps getting memed out of context maybe a bob meme will become very popular .. and timmy clitoris fans will be like this is the best film ever and petition for it to win best film at oscra s or something dymb andits all dumb stupif shit and then someones like Hey bob dylan was a fuckign faggot and everyone realises bob WAS fafuckin g faggot and its finally recognize d anf then people boycott the biopic bc it erases queer history rightfully so and then some people who dgaf about bob dont like the biopic and then timmy clitoris apologizes saying he didnt know and hes not queer though even though hes a fuciing twink and then bob slike yeha i had gay sex with george harrison. so what and everyones like Ohhh i knew it but those stupid people are like wtf? bob dylna is GAY? and then itslike ok open your eyes and then at the oscars timmy clitoris has to apologize again saying he didnt know bob dylan was queer and everyones like oh its ok but inrreality we hate you and cate blanchett knew it the whole TIME! and then the biopic is burned people burndown their copies of it and its INSANE and everyones INWSNE and then traveling wilbyurys biopic comes out and theres a sex scene with george and bob in like 2030 bc of the beatles biopics too ! and timyms like dsaved is my fav bob dylan album and he triesto join the fandom but everyone boos him and he dies before bob dies and alos never meets bob

[annieqattheperipheral]

mackinnon trending on the bird app.. had to click...

twitter hockeymen going on and on about a "big strong man" being "too soft" and "clearly faking" being unable to keep his balance and deserving an embellishment/diving penalty is the cishet man's hrpf. writing a narrative to fulfill a daydream about why their team lost. and the most hilarious-- why they've "lost respect for mackinnon" 😂😂😂 oh noo the dogg is so sad and must unfriend the always honourable golden goal captain canada sid immediately

...something comes at your hand (not at the puck, but at your body) while you're receiving a pass and gearing up into a shot where you're positioning and weight is about to be shifted mostly onto a single foot in order to release. it jolts you out of your rhythm to have to push that intruding stick out of the way and have to overcompensate to reposition and regain balance and stay on your feet.

men: boo. so soft. what a performance.

listen here you stupid little gnat. nathan motherfucking mackinnon doesn't need a pity penalty call to make your team look like ass k. he and his boys did that with 4 unanswered goals. and he does it on the regular, singlehandedly, at even strength.

embellishment/diving calls are some of my most hated shit in this game. cale has gotten some of the worst in seasons past. like my goodness. he was just a little guy. obviously he's gonna twirl around a bit, not even fall, trying to regain balance and they throw that call on him. he's even called off penalties called on others bc he insisted they didn't touch him, that he fell of his own volition. one of the best skaters with incredible edgework technique falls on slippery ice sometimes. huh. who woulda thunk it.

the teams that do that diving shit on the regular as per their coaches' instructions, go after them you fucking idiots. entire teams have won stanley cups with award-winning performances you ate up. or hey, how about the refs who call simultaneous penalties along with dives?? which one is it? is it a penalty or is it a nothing and some dude falling on his own in order to frame someone?? nhl refs have bred mistrust in calls with their lousy performance record.

obvs I've nothing against van fans here. this is all aimed at nonsense twitter hockeymen and refs. sometimes... sometimes i just gotta vent before i can get back to regularly scheduled tumblr funsies with y'all. anyhow, dumb rant over. peace n love n lets objectify men in fully-covered attire

[annisrealandsoami]

When I had originally been apart of the deh fandom, I hadn’t thought about the implications of what he did.

Spoilers, obviously. He didn’t mean to lie. Evan had made a dumb mistake, that at the time could’ve easily been fixed.(with an extremely awkward conversation. Or just not continuing the lie.). He instead, doubled down.(rookie move) Okay, he’s now lying to a grieving family. Let’s make fake proof that he’s not. Then let’s make even more fake evidence of a friendship that never existed. Let’s then get so invested in the lie that it over shadows the actual victim. Let’s get ‘Conner’ trending online, and then have to make even more fake evidence. Let’s implode every relationship you have, because of all this bullshit. Then after everything, come clean to the grieving family you have been fucking lying to for all this time.

Not to mention that he dated Conners sister immediately after he died, under guise of his friend. Zoey didn’t even like Conner, but Evan used his supposed connection to him to get close. Zoey just wanted to move on. And Evan couldn’t.

Was it the attention he was finally getting? It’s not even a good enough excuse or reason for his actions.

Conners memory is completely covered with Evan’s bullshit. The orchard is based on Evan’s lies. Like what the fuck?

And I know funerals and memorials are more about the living than they are actually about the dead, but the amount of continuous lies this man said, bonkers.

But when you’re 13, you just listen to the catchy songs and not really absorb the context.

Until randomly you listen to ‘Good for You’ and no longer can understand why Evan did all of it. No longer can sing along to Evan as he laments about how he feeling the consequences of his actions(which was your favorite part to sing for so long.)

There is no redeeming him, and maybe that’s the point. He did make good lasting change, but that doesn’t erase how he got there. How the good does not outweigh the horrendous mistake he made, then continued to make.

And yeah, he painted Conner in a good light, but he still painted over his memory. According to book, Conner was misunderstood, and maybe eventually his family would come to realize that. But to rewrite him? The dude didn’t even write a note. Dead men tell no tales. He was done. And Evan basically wrote self insert fanfiction of them being friends.

Why did I breeze past this? Why was I okay with it? I used to like Evan’s character. Used to relate to him and his social anxiety.

Sorry for ranting, but this occurred to me a while ago and I can’t stop thinking about it.

[grimmgrinningghouls]

actually this gets its own post cause its annoying asf. I fuckin hate this "big, strong, dominant Weiss" trend so much. She's a badass character, but she's not the domineering scary figure yall like to portray her as. And Ruby especially is not the dainty, dense, little kid that she's often paired with.

Its such a betrayal of both characters to portray them as such. Ruby has proven time and time again she's mature, smart, and more than just a cookie-loving, air-headed child. This isn't even just whiterose the entire fucking fndm treats Ruby like this and it never fails to make me mad.

She's more mature than half the damn adults in the series. Rubys goofy, she's cheerful, but by no means is she a dumb kid. I thought it'd get better after v9 but no it legit just got worse with how people treat her mental breakdown. They act like its a tantrum and not what happens when a 17 year old gets pushed to her breaking point (This is in part thanks to moist critical tbh. Thanks for that man)

And then there's Weiss. Where did you get it in your head that she was some kinda badass, strong, dominant figure who orders everyone around and treats Ruby more like a fucking pet than a human being. Cause like she's not. She has always respected Ruby as her leader and she knows better than anyone how mature Ruby is.

The only time Weiss has ever been that kinda character was in Ice queendom in a fake reality, and that was her own power fantasy and not who she actually was. Yes, Weiss is strong, and she takes no shit but she's not this figure of power she's usually portrayed as.

This isn't even that stupid top/bottom bullshit people like to jump on every hiatus. Its just a really fucking annoying way people portray and show these characters that completely goes against the show entirely and I hate it.

And before someone comments "its just hc's and fanon let people have fun" I am a hater this is my blog, and I shall say whatever the fuck I want. Block me and move on.

[muffins2elecricboogaloo]

I've kinda been keeping up this whole Chase Bank 'money glitch' check-fraud thing, and it's so insane to me I can hardly believe it. I have 3 theories about the whole situation.

1. This spread organically on the internet and thousands of people were actually fucking stupid enough to commit check fraud.  This, to me, is the scariest option but I don't actually think it's the most likely.

2. It's a psyop pushed out by the government and the banks. Not that many people actually did it, the vast majority of people you saw or heard about on the internet didn't actually do it, or work and chase bank and confirmed it. I've heard up to 2 million people did it and that seems like absolute bullshit.  The government and banks used their media control to make it look like a bigger deal than it was to institute stricter financial control regulations for the average american, push towards central bank digital currencies, etc.. Times are getting tough, and more and more people are going to be pushed into committing financial crime. By using a controlled event, they can get ahead of the game and push closer towards their goal complete financial control with an excuse to do it.

3. (Imo, the most likely) A professional fraud and cyber-crime gang commited a large-scale heist agianst Chase Bank, and in a stroke of genius, pushed out a check fraud method to the internet wrapped as a 'money glitch' to convince people to commit check fraud using their own identities to help cover their tracks.

Professional level fraud is complex and requires a large team with different specializations working in unison and coordinating their attacks. Hackers use phishing, credential stuffing, cracked databases, and browser-jacking to take bank logins, passwords, and cookies. They also proxyjack the bank users' internet connection to appear as any bank transfers are coming from the victims own computer.  The team then moves all the money quickly and in unison before the banks catch on to what's going on. The funds are transferred to  aged bank accounts owned by stolen or fake identities, withdrawn, and laundered by money mules.

Another interesting thing to note is that these sophisticated, large-scale attacks are almost always done on holiday weekends, and this Chase Bank 'Money Glitch' phenomenon happened over Labor Day weekend.

By pubically releasing a secret exploit under the guise of a 'money glitch' to the dumbest people likely to use it, it overwhelmed the banks fraud department and the FBI, all while making the actual victim's themselves look like criminals that were dumb enough to take part in a viral trend, making it harder for the real criminals to be discovered.

[alvertesongdiary]

Megan Thee Stallion - HISS

I just want to kick this shit off by saying fuck y’all I don’t have to clear my name on a motherfuckin thang Everytime I get mentioned one of y’all bitch ass niggas get 24 hours of attention I’m finna get this shit off my chest to lay it to rest Let’s go

I feel like Mariah Carey got these niggas so obsessed my pussy so famous might get managed by Kris Jenner next he can’t move on can’t let it go he hooked nose full of that Tina snow and since niggas need Megan help to make money bitch come be my hoe all of you bitches is weak on the Bible talking shit from where no one can find you I could never be judged by a bitch that was dancing making R. Kelly go viral im sexy af and I’m freaky get who ever I want ini mini why the fuck would I stay with a nigga that’s weak In the sheets and don’t know how to please me bodies on bodies on bodies on bodies say he fucked Megan and now he the topic these niggas thinking they lowered the value all this free promo I’m turning a profit hate when a nigga be kissing and telling say he a playa but he in his feelings bet I won’t give up the pussy again shit should’ve gave it to his friend These hoes don’t be mad at Megan these hoes mad at Megan’s law I don’t really know what the problem is but I guarantee yall don’t want me to start bitch you a pussy never finna check me every chance you get bet yo weak ass won’t address me bitches swear the G but the G must stand for Goofy when the fuck did all the gangster niggas turn to groupies every body wanna kick it when you ain’t a threat these niggas don’t like me cause they know I’m on they neck

Y’all goofy ass hoes look so dumb every time y’all celebrate fake news, ha! Using my name for likes and views, I don’t give a fuck what y’all make trend, bitch I still win Ah!

Nigga ain’t you hear ? I ain’t scared of dick any man go against me I handle shit I’m the Teflon don in the court room they be throwing that dirt don’t shit stick all these lil rap niggas so fraud Xanax be they hardest bars these niggas hate on BBLS and be walking around with the same scars , real curvy no etching niggas fight to get in my section don’t speak on my body count is the dick ain’t worth coming back for seconds, cosplay gangsters fake ass accents posted in another nigga hood like a bad bitch ima big dog bitch can’t lil sis me hoes get views when they tryna diss me make one move gottem in a tizzy killing shit that’s why they tryna RIP me still going hard with the odds against me these niggas don’t have fans they bots these bitches don’t have ass they shots and they still tuned in if they fans or not allegations from the opposition bitch niggas just eating it up these blogs get paid to lie yall talk shit and be broke as fuck bottom line is I’m still rich do Megan bad and I’m still good bringing up who might’ve fucked and the bottom line is they still would I just wanna fuck my nigga In peace but all my old niggas still love me niggas ain’t hit this pussy in years damn I knew my shit was heat none of you niggas was wifey material none of you niggas was worth all the drama none of you niggas was hitting it raw and mad I’m not one of yo baby mamas always got my ass out always let my titties show when I’m in the gym I think about bitches that I’m shitting on I’m way too fucking cocky to take him back if he been cheating I can’t let none of you raggedy bitches think that yall my equal every since I claimed the summer all you bitches want a season ask a hoe why she don’t like me bet she can’t give you a reason you know motherfucking well these bitches wanna sound like Tina don’t you ever grab a mic and think that me and you competing

bad bitch and the walls ain’t bending post photo name, start trending why every time one of y’all z list goes do an interview I get mentioned? Ion give a fuck who think what you niggas is typing for nothing on the internet typing that shit to me write him a letter or something

Say bitch ass nigga don’t type me nothing else, don’t write me nothing else, download j pay since y’all niggas got so much to say or schedule a conjugal visit or something. Ha Ha! Dick riding ass niggas Ah!

07/02/2024

[polyhexian]

Uruehafjjfkd it's the middle of the night and one of the girls walked into the kitchen to discover another has creative an intricate witchcraft sigil to protect the house. We got a pentagram of salt on the table baby. This woman fully believes in ghosts and evil spirits. Why the FUCK did she move into a famously haunted house.

It is so fucking funny how much they just do not care one of their friends threw himself out a window

Dhjsjsfn one of the characters walks into the room and slaps his phone down. "We're trending." Tkehsbgng

FJEUWHNF VECAYSE ONE OF THE GIRLS SARCASTICALLY SAID THE HOUSE WAS HAUNTED NOW DOZENSOF PEOPLE ARE STANDING ON THEIR LAWN TAKING PHOTOS...

They're making bad tiktoks about the house... These people couldn't even make decent fake tiktoks. Just hire a twelve year old to make the TikTok for your movie

Baffling. A dude has come to interview them for his podcast. And he is filming??? I don't actually see any decent microphones. They're sitting around a coffee table. And he's filming it. With a single shotgun mic. Oh my god. Oh my godddd

Fueudhhccj he's editing on his fucking iPad with twenty dollar headphones...

JFUEJDJFJF AHHHHHH OH MT GOd

They let the podcast guy stay the night to determine if the house was haunted or not for his little show. And something attacked him in the room so he ran out yelling he was never coming back ahhh this place is so spooky

AND THEN GOT HIT BY A CAR AND DIED... UTS EVEN A FUCKING HIT AND RUN...

It has been like three days in this fucking house and two people have fucking died

One of the girls is taking a bath. a dude just died so she's taking a bath. With bath salts. Girl what time is it

Voices are talking to her and calling her a selfish dumb bitch so she has sat down in the bathtub with her clothes on

OH BOY HERE WE GO... She's plugging in the hair dryer... SHES BACK IN THE BSTH..... YEAH BABY THERE SHE GOES SHE GOES AGGGGH

OH THE NEWEST AMITYVILLE MOVIE IS OUT? YES THESE MOVIES SRE FUCKING TRASH LOL. BUT LIME. THE BEST TRASH.

boy oh boy guys we got a new Amityville movie and THIS TIME we have proved it by adding LESBIANS

[divorceddanneel]

lol @goddess-of-antis you don’t have a host, get therapy you pathetic child

[kkusuka]

Y/n and either Ushijima, Suna or Sugawara ((I couldn’t decide so you pick 😫)) put paint on themselves and then fuck on a canvas to hang up in there house. Nobody would ever know that the art they were just admiring was made by Y/n and him having seggs 😂😂

✨Puppy🤩

i’m gonna do Toshi and Rin because i couldn’t think of something for suga, if i do i might post something for him bc i really like the prompt lol

ushijima wakatoshi <3

at times he hated the fact the collage required him to take an art class. he was there on a full scholarship for volleyball, not art.

most of the time he didn’t care all that much, he could draw and use the class pastels for an hour two days a week. and he was no Picasso but he was passing so that was all he could ask for.

well that’s what he thought until about an hour ago when he remembered that his midterm, what will be 40% of his semester grade, was due in the morning. it was fairly open, only had a few restrictions, it had to be on a 36’x48’ canvas and must have a single medium, he chose paint because it seemed easy at the time.

well now he was sitting in front on the white canvas, mind completely void of creative inspiration, and he had practice in two hours. making things about one-thousand times worse was that his social media was full of women painting their nudes, a trend he knew you had tried.

“toshi? you’ve been sitting there for forty-five minutes, are you ok?”

the idea hit him like a truck, his teacher said they could do whatever they wanted and that’s what he was going to do.

“y/n? will you help me out for a few minutes?” he inquired, drawing your body into the room.

you never really knew what ushijima was thinking, his stone cold facade didn’t spare you in times like this. though you could see the burning in his eyes as he waved you over where he had gotten sky blue and violet cans of paint.

without a word, you watched had he began to tug your sweats down your legs.

“whoa! what are you doing?” he just picked up some of the paint before looking up to you.

“i’m going to fuck you on it.” his stated as if he was talking about ordering lunch. not waiting for your reply he smeared the blue onto the front of your thighs along your full legs.

“take of your shirt.” doing what he said he immediately began rubbing the paint onto your stomach, throughly coating your breasts, twisting your nipples and the skin underneath, all the way up to the base of your neck.

he turn you by your waist, pressing your body to the canvas that was hanging along the wall.

you would ask him if this was appropriate, but you didn’t have a chance before he was opening your folds and pushing his tip int your cunt.

“you’re wet already? all i’ve done was put paint on you, are you that much of an unstable whore?” his words and how unfazed he sounded sent another wave of heat down your walls. snapping his hips to your sent you furthers into the now colors portion of your art.

“toshi, not— not to hard-“ a smack to your ass accompanied with a harsh thrust your your cervix shut you up.

his dick was carving its was into your walls, you’d been dating for years but he made you feel like a virgin.

you were never out that the weight of his thrusts would rip the canvas, you worries thrown from your mind as his dick hit the sweet spot in your depths, squirting your cum into his thighs. halting his thrusts you felt a cold, wet substance drip over you back. you felt the pads of his fingers rub it all over your back before moving his hands to your hips, giving you a glimpse of the blue coating his palms.

“you don’t think we’re done do you?” he mocked, pulling you off his for a split second before pressing your back to your masterpiece, the blue joining your mess of purple, “i haven’t cum yet so out painting is not completed.”

suna rintarou <3

“there you go messy slut! go ahead rub those pretty tits on the board,” suna’s mocking words were accompanied with a flick of your clit, “you want everyone to know what we did on this don’t you?”

he had brought up the idea after seeing something like it on instagram, but he really just wanted physical proof that he was the best fuck you’ll ever get.

“rin-ri- i, please!”

“oh baby, this is going to look so pretty. i’m gonna hang it in our living room so everyone can see it! they’ll have no idea but whenever you see it you’ll remember how i fucked you dumb.” he sneered, pushing your torso further into the canvas.

his cock plunged in and out of your hole garnered with the wet slaps of skin. grabbing your hair to pull your head back he forced you to look at him as you came around his cock, him following in suit.

•••

“that’s a really cool painting where’d y’all get it?”

oh aran, why did you have to ask in a room full of people? you had decorations handing all around your house and he asks about the one thing you can’t explain without stuttering.

“me and y/n made it together, right? it was so much fun.” suna chimed from across the room where he was speaking with kita and osamu.

“yeah honey, we did!” you smiled, faking a laugh while observing the multiple disruption in the paint from where you had dropped wetness onto the board.

•

tags: @bakugos-cumsock

[angelatsumu]

hq eyeliner hc's [nsfw]

hey babies! back again with another hc type deal with some of my favorite boys!

boys are: tendou, matsukawa & bokuto <3

basically just brain rot about boys would letting me do their eyeliner <3

warnings: slight dubcon with tendou, puppy!reader, oral (f!receiving), cockwarming, fingering, not proofread

requests are open! please send some requests for anything !!

t.satori

boy definitely loves whenever his good puppy does his eyeliner

let's be honest he does it himself usually

you'd come trotting up with the mischievous look on your face, eyeliner in hand.

he just smiles, sitting on the bed and you stood over him.

a smile grows on his face as he feels you crawling into his lap, straddling his waist.

"puppy's doing so good, hm~" he teases as you wiggle your hips in his lap, trying to get a better look at his eyelids for the eyeliner placement. his hands find your waist, gripping lightly as you wiggle a bit more, earning a low groan from your lover. a blush rose to your cheeks as you felt his growing semi against your backside, hand shakily continuing to apply eyeliner to the right eyelid. a huff leaves your lips when his hands move to smooth over your thighs, spreading instinctively to give him better access to your needy heat. he notices, a slight chuckle leaving his lips. you finally manage to complete the first eye, and just as you were moving toward the second, tendou managed to get his hand between the two of you, cupping your heat. you paused, studying your sly boyfriend's face for faltering. knowing your gaze, his eyes remained closed with a coy smirk on his face as his hand began to slowly rub between your folds, gently grazing your clit with each stroke. "hmph," you whimpered, retreating backward so you sat on the edge of his lap, hands just out of reach from your cunny. Tendou lets out a sigh, hands finding your hips and dragging you back into his lap, hard-on pressing into your heat intentionally. "finish what you started, puppy, or i wont be nice." you blushed at his words, craning your neck to begin work on his second eye. Tendou's fingers skillfully swipe aside your panties to collect your slick, spreading it over your clit with a pleased groan. Your cunny clenched around nothing as you whined, arching your back so your bodies pressed closer together. "puppy~" he scolded teasingly, pressing tight circles into your clit as you began to writhe beneath him. "tori, no fair," you whined softly, trying your hardest to focus on the last swipe of eyeliner. just as the pencil met his eyelid, tendou's two fingers penetrated your tight hole, walls immediately fluttering around him as your climax came closer. you whined once more, pressing your hips further onto his fingers in a wonton attempt to get some release. "i warned you~" tendou scolds, fingers moving at a punishing pace as his freehand circles around to rub tight circles into your swollen clit. "please, i-i'm so close~" he would rolls his eyes if they were open at your whining, and you knew that as your legs began to shake, body growing hot as your boyfriend continued to pleasure you. just as you feel that tight coil about to snap, tendou's ministrations on your needy heat cease, and he peaks an eye open to take in the disappointed look on your face. tears start to form in the corners of your eyes as you needily press your thirsty cunt into his hand, making a sloppy attempt of fucking his fingers. Tendou groans in annoyance, swatting at your clit which sends a jolt through your body. "eyeliner, pup. that's all you asked for." you know he's teasing but you can't help but cry a little at the thought of him doing this to you again. just as you go in for your second attempt, tendou's fingers are working you again. his fingers are crossed this time, giving you an irresistible feeling that with any clit stimulation would send you barreling to the edge. you begin to protest, not wanting to be edged right now—you were so sensitive for him, and this he adored more than anything—but tendou shuts you up. "you don't get to tell me no until you finish the fucking thing you begged me to do," he huffs, smirking at the whimper and feel of your salty tears on his skin. tendou loved you, but he loved being mean, too. finally, you finish the swipe across his eyelid, hoping that tendou's merciless behavior ceases, but he has other plans. his eyes flutter open, immediately pinned on you as his free hand once again finds your clit, rubbing figure-eights that have you seeing stars. the way you're squeezing him is driving him crazy, and all he knows is that he needs you to cream for him. your legs start shaking and you collapse against his chest, crying out his name as your orgasm washes over you in waves. his hands never stop pumping in your addictive cunny, and tendou smiles

down at you as if to say, "we aren't done yet".

m.issei

he let you do it when he saw you watching a tiktok of some dude saying he wanted a girl to sit in his lap and do his eyeliner

the issue wasn't that you were allowed to do it, it was that he knew your plan and he played dumb the entire day about it

i mean mans knows you did his eyeliner so that he would get all horny and fuck your brains out, but mans plays the long game

issei just really wants his puppy to beg to be touched like the touch-starved girl she is

"you've been following me around all day, y/n". his voice almost sounds annoyed, but you know that isn't the case. your boyfriend lived for how needy you were with him, but he enjoyed the occasional front to seem less whipped. "i am your puppy, after-all," you retorted, as slight blush at your own words on your cheeks. issei pauses, turning around to see you standing there with your hands crossed over your chest, pout in full-effect. he grins, eyes raking over your form slowly before he rolls his eyes and turns around once more. "if you're gonna stand there, at least help me put the dishes away," he snarks, and you sigh, being the obedient girl he knew you to be. as you're putting the last few dishes into the dishwasher, you feel issei's palm press into your lower back. a sigh leaves your lips as he takes place behind you, leaning so his lips were against your skin. "how about you get a better look at this eyeliner between your legs, hm?" an audible whimper leaves your lips as your tease of a boyfriend backs away, feigning innocence as he looks for an imaginary beverage in the fridge. "issei~" you whine softly, making your way over to him. he glances at you with a smirk on his face, eyebrows raised in fake surprise. "Hm, so horny puppy forgot her manners~" He's teasing and you know it, but you can't bother with games when he stands before you like this, grey sweats hanging low on his hips and hair disheveled. you try to pry your eyes from the prominent dick print, just enough to not get caught, but matsun's chuckle gives it away. matsun closes the fridge, moving to tower over you before backing you into the counter. "staring is impolite, puppy." his arms take place on either side of the counter, caging you in as you let out a whine. he notices your neediness, especially in the way you move your thighs together to create friction for that desperate clit of yours. your lover smirks down at you, shaking his head as he immediately drops to his knees. "you might wanna hold on, puppy~ " before you can process his words, issei's gotten your panties off, forcing them into your mouth. He raises his shirt you're wearing, eyes marveling at your cunny. he breathes in your scent like it's his last breath, licking his lips hungrily as he does so. issei hoists your right leg over his shoulder, sliding in closer to your needy heat. matsun's tongue licks a fat stripe between your folds, warm muscle sending involuntary chills down your spine. his eyes peer up at you, watching your face contort as he delicately presses his tongue into your clit, slowly drawing circles there. a gutteral groan leaves his lips as he feels your slick covering his mouth and cheeks, moving his tongue to lap up the entirety of your cunny at a faster but precise pace. your hands take purchase in his hair as he circles your clit once more, paying close attention the shuddering of your body with each stroke. his hands have a tight grip on your legs as he uses his left to hoist your left leg over his shoulder, rendering you helpless to his will. he pressed your further into the counter, groaning as you involuntary buck your hips against his tongue, desperate to feel his hot muscle inside your cunt. "behave, puppy," he scolds you, continuing to sloppily lap up your wetness as he feels your body quake beneath him. he needs you to cum, so desperate to satisfy his needy puppy after denying her for so long—for him. issei moves his tongue to your entrance, circling sloppily before pushing the muscle into your pulsing walls, and the pull on his hair tells him all he needs to know. matsun's tongue thrashes within you, moving at just enough speed you're seeing stars and losing your grip on your release. he manages to slide a hand between the two of you, massaging your clit with gentle rigor, and moaning into your heat, using the entirety of his tongue to lap up your slick. with a final pinch of your clit combined with the pressure of his tongue thwarting inside you, your orgasm washes over you and you're seeing white, nothing but issei matters as your hips buck wildly

against him. he grins into your cunny, knowing he's done well for his puppy.

b. koutaro

loves the eyeliner in the boys lap trend!

would probably see you doing it one day, and he's like hm?

and then he sees a tiktok of a dude saying he loves when his girl does eyeliner in his lap, and he's like uh, yeah?

so he sends you the tiktok, and you're more than happy to fulfill his fantasy or whatever

he, being the needy boy he is, suggests cockwarming while doing his eyeliner. (bo loves cockwarming doing anything but that's for another day)

"come on, puppy, please~" he whines, legs spread with a hand down his grey sweatpants. you sighed, your strong will wearing thin whenever your boyfriend gave you the puppy dog eyes. bo' loved you and he was constantly looking for ways to keep you guessing, keep you excited about his touch. he knew he never had to try very hard, but still he enjoyed the chase of it all. you clambered into your boyfriends lap, sinking onto his length slowly with a wince. he grinned at your faintly pained expression, knowing his girth always took you off guard. you sat in his lap, smiling at his excited features and he blushed softly under your gaze. it took everything in him not to tear you apart, completely disregarding the eyeliner. as you got situated, your velvety walls clenched around earning light whimpers from your beloved himbo. he grimaced, knowing he didn't want to ruin the intimate experience at hand. "please just start, puppy," he whined, wriggling under your touch as he grew restless. you smirked at him, enamored by your easily excitable boyfriend. you reached to start the first swipe of eyeliner on his left eye, straining in his lap to reach his eyes. as you approached, bo couldn't keep his eyes off of where you two were connected, and that made you blush. "kou, please close your eyes," you huffed and he obliged. his hands instinctively found your waist as you wiggled in his lap once more, his cock twitched inside you at the slight movement. a soft whimper left your lips at the sensation as you struggled to remain focused on the task at hand. with the first swipe across his eyelid, kou thrusted lightly into you, growing too restless to sit still. "bokuto~" you whimpered, withdrawing your hand and lightly pinching his cheek as you shifted attention to the other eyelid. "hurry up and finish so I can fuck you, puppy~" his tone was gruff and urgent, and you blushed, nodding softly. needless to say, the second swipe took no longer than two seconds and your brains were fucked out instantly.

admin: i hope you all enjoyed!! also, thanks for 99 followers <3

[ladyluscinia]

So in true Tumblr fashion, my Year in Review post won't, well, post. So you guys get the bootleg I'm copy / pasting myself lol 😆

With commentary!

I posted 3,406 times in 2022

That's 1,092 more posts than 2021! (Here's my 2021 Year in Review for comparison! It's much less impressive.)

362 posts created (11%)

3,044 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@autisticandroids

@altarofrowena

@ladyluscinia

@billiewena

@treesofgreen

I tagged 3,404 of my posts in 2022

(wait which fucking two did I NOT tag???)

#spn - 1,391 posts

#our flag means death - 668 posts

#ladyluscinia - 541 posts

#izzy hands ofmd - 486 posts

#blackbeard ofmd - 333 posts

#dean - 324 posts

#destiel - 302 posts

#gifset - 216 posts

#fanart - 216 posts

#castiel - 200 posts

(I'm still a Supernatural blog in 2022, and I will be one in 2023 😘🥂)

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but i thought their initial posting was pretty interesting until one day i realized i stopped seeing it because i was blocked for crimes 😆

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I actually love that Vane is Mr. "What's in it for Me?" and openly philosophically inclined to, like, the simplest and most tangible desires, because in any other show he would be SO easy to get on your side, but in THIS show everyone is a 10 year plan double or nothing idealist so the conversations go:

Flint: "I can't give you money. I need the money for a convoluted scheme that will eventually offer all of us safety and self-governance and ideological superiority. Let me persuade you I know what I'm doing."

Vane: "No, I think I want money. Like, good luck with the rest of that, but I've got it covered. With a ship. And money."

Flint: "But what if the Navy comes for us?"

Vane: "That's tomorrow-Vane's problem, and he'll probably appreciate being richer than today-Vane if it comes up. Pay me."

Link - 493 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

#4

The lack of new Supernatural drama today despite the mass resignation of the British government is proof that Supernatural is tied specifically to American political upheaval, and now I'm wondering what is coming for us on October 11

Link - 658 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#3

[This is where I discovered that adding any images other than the header that started the post caused the draft to immediately become unsaveable, so if you want to see my dumb joke you have to click on the link]

.

You ever think of a stupid joke you just HAVE to see visualized?

Link - 859 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#2

Edward Teach Meta - Remember Edward Hasn't Always Been a Muppet...

...and honestly he's still just mostly faking it.

I see a lot of posts about the whole dichotomy of Ed vs Blackbeard, and - because I live in the Izzy Hands tag for this show - a lot of it takes a very... simplistic (?) approach. Mostly along the lines of Ed is a traumatized real guy who just wants love and softness while Blackbeard is the violent persona he puts up because he thinks he has to (and Izzy makes the situation worse with a fixation on a fake person).

This... does not really make sense to me. For one, if we're going to acknowledge "Blackbeard" is a persona then we should probably acknowledge "Ed" is equally fake. The dichotomy is two wildly different masks, and the same real Edward is behind them both. And I want to talk about that guy.

Warning - this got insanely long

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Link - 884 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ryan Reynolds having staff hype up his new tumblr account to users and then realizing that a shitty CW show that ended almost two years ago is trending over him in anticipation of the 5th

[Insert math lady meme]

Link - 19,855 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

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Of course that fucking meme got first. Well it's technically Nov 5th posting so I suppose it could be worse. Good luck everyone with getting your own Year in Reviews to work if they haven't yet!

See you next year!