#the fact that this keeps happening means I should probably come up with a default answer

[sillyuin]

hi <3! was wondering if i can get svt reaction to yn being completely oblivious to them flirting with her? subtle things like while she’s just ranting about her day they’d move closer to her and she’d absentmindedly put her hand on their chest to push them away still running her mouth, just completely unaware of what’s happening. and even the most obvious things like compliments or physical touch, yn is blind to it and it’s so frustrating to them

so yeah, hope you see this! ❤️

Hi! I'm sorry for being so late 😭 i've been very busy with job and housework, but it's finally here.

Svt reacts: Flirting vs clueless s/o. Who will win?

Yuin's note: barely proofread. I'ts 1 am and I'm tired.

Seungcheol. Staring at your face.

I mean, he likes to just stare at you as if he's watching the prettiest person in the world, but when Seungcheol wants to be especially flirty, he stares at you fondly and smiling with the whole intention to make your heart skip a beat, he even glances at your lips, as if he were trying to say something. Most of the time that's enough to make you really, really shy but when is not... Geez, he has to breathe in and ends up pouting a little (Probably one or two pecks will make him feel better).

Jeonghan. Teasing.

Is like his default love language, making harmless jokes to see you flustered all over him is just so fun to watch. But, is he really just trying to be a teaser, or is there something else behind? "I took the chair, but you can sit on my lap" he said one day, sitting at your desktop, with the most mischievous smile possible. But you didn't fall for his charm and as you kept your annoyed face, he stood up and sighed "Okay, all yours". And you better be ready because he's not forgetting so easy, and will keep teasing you just a little (yeah, a little) more than usual.

Joshua. Back hugging.

When Joshua wants your attention only and only for him, he goes where you are to hug you from the back, resting his chin on your shoulders and crossing his arms around your waist. Oh, he loves it so much is so tender, but he gets lowkey hurt when you don't react in any way because, how come you don't realize his intentions? Is really doing the dishes way more important than his warm hugs? Now, this is personal and Joshua won’t let you go, take it as a punishment for being so clueless (reward or punishment?).

Jun. Tickles.

For him, tickles is the perfect excuse to be closer to you. It's so obvious that hurts lol. Most of the time you melt in his touch, and you both end up laughing and sharing some kisses, but sometimes you're minding your business, too busy to realize that Jun wants to get your attention. Better get ready because you'll have a pouty little cat going around the apartment, and will NOT forget your offense unless you give him extra cuddles before bed.

Hoshi. Random "facts".

At the least appropriate time, he would come to find you. "Did you know that there is a minimum number of kisses that a person should receive per day to be healthy?" he says with a very serious expression on his face. And there you are, standing in the middle of the living room while you're brushing your teeth; your soulless expression says all. Hoshi turns around and pretends nothing happened, but in his mind, he's sitting in the corner staring at the walls.

Wonwoo. Making compliments out of nowhere.

He likes to pour you with sweet words, like how much he appreciates your homemade food, or that you did it great at work. From time to time, he thinks is fun to be a little sassy and his praises are very, very intentional. “New gloss?” he says, grinning at you “It looks good” and for some frigging reason you just start talking about how you got it? Babe, Wonu doesn’t care that much that you bought it because your favorite gloss wasn’t on stock, but now he feels a little shy to speak and just lets you tell the whole story.

Woozi. Playing with your hair.

When it comes to be openly flirty, Woozi tends to be a little coy. You rarely notice it since it's very common for him to be around you, caressing your hair and playing with the strands in complete silence. So when you get distracted he places a strand behind your ear, exposing your neck. But when he's so close to place a kiss, you jump like a scared kitten. "No! It tickles!" Woozi looks down, defeated, as you move away. "Sorry, be right back" and he locks himself in his room for the next hour.

Minghao. Holding your hand.

He thinks your hands are more than just pretty. Hao likes to take one of them when you're sitting by his side, scrolling on your phone or watching TV. He's so subtle that most of the times you don't feel how he traces your hand with his fingers and when you realize, it’s because your hands are intertwined and he’s holding his laughter. “How low you’ve been like this?” but Minghao just giggles. You end up doing the same and then resume your activity, letting him laughing low in embarrassment and biting his lips as a sign of frustration.

Mingyu. Resting on your lap.

He's very straightforward when it comes to flirting with you. Mingyu likes to wait patiently for you to sit on the couch or the bed and then he goes, at first making some (pretty obvious) questions "What are you doing?" "Is that a new book?" and as you're talking, his hands rest on your thigh, gently stroking your skin with his thumb, but you're so immerse in the topic and he goes completely unnoticed... And before you even notice, there's a flustered Mingyu resting his head on your lap, tracing small circles on your thigh as if he had been punished.

Dokyeom. Taking photos.

He already has a folder with your name and an unhealthy number of photos; Seokmin just never gets tired, you're so used to it that most of the time don't realize that he's actually trying to hit on you. "Just let me take a picture, you look so beautiful today!" And after giving him an awkward smile, you're getting back to your stuff.  Seokmin is a bit disappointed but with a bunch of new photos of his precious person, so is not that bad (at least is what he says to himself trying to not lose his mind).

Seungkwan. Scolding.

I know, it may sound like a bit harsh but when he's scolding you, Seungkwan tries to make it as tender as possible, it doesn't feel like scolding and actually, he uses this as a cheap excuse to be extra lovely. "Don't sleep too late, you're getting dark circles" he says in a soft voice while caressing your checks "you're too pretty for that, don't you think?". He waits for you to take the bait and when you laugh on him, saying that he's being a little dramatic, Seungkwan doesn't hide his disappointment. "Okay, keep watching your series" he says getting up from the couch "but don't you dare to complain later!"

Vernon. Placing his arm on your shoulders.

A classic that never dies and his favorite, Vernon likes to do it all the time: when watching movies, chatting, watching videos together; is a like a very subtle invitation to get closer to him, and somehow, most of the time you’re just minding your business and leave him waiting for you to notice. And yeah, he’s very patient, but everything has a limit. "Come here, babe" then he places his hand on your shoulder and brings you closer to his chest. And don't you dare to move, because there's no way he let you go now.

Dino. Calling your name.

Usually, he calls you by pet names or your name in diminutive, reserving the use of your name for special occasions. However, it doesn't always end the way he expected. “Did I do something wrong?” you ask him just after he called you by your name, and when Chan sees your big doe eyes, his smile fades. “Is just that… I feel like you’re mad at me”. At this point his intentions doesn’t matter anymore, he just hugs you and tries not cry in his disappointment.

[evermourner]

how to deal with failure when all you know how to do is beat up yourself (as an adhder)

please read this if you are a chronic self-loather like myself.

i used to hate myself for everything i did; the way i talk and walk, my accomplishments, my daily activities, how i cannot keep up with my peers, all that jazz. and especially as a late-diagnosed adhder this gets worse overtime. i ended up getting into a 6-month burnout, failed 3 classes and have to extend one semester, and i had lost my identity as a person.

overall i was just a breathing, walking flesh with depressive thoughts every day.

but after many many months of rediscovering myself, i have come up with the conclusion that life gets easier when i don't fucking hate myself.

shocker, right? ik this is probably like a 'obviously' type of thing, but i think many ppl with adhd can confirm that this is one of the hardest pills to swallow.

but trust me, you don't need to feel bad!!! and i will tell you how to do it down below. pls read, i hope it helps.

(keep in mind im not a psychiatrist or a therapist btw i just wanna help fellow ppl with adhd)

reminder #1: adhd makes you more prone to making mistakes - beating yourself up for every failure is torture.

as people with adhd, we are more prone to making more mistakes and questionable decisions. we are just built that way. we can work on it, but that's our baseline.

self loathing encourages you to beat up your baseline. your default state. your non-productive mode.

beating yourself up for making a mistake is literally like beating up a cat for sleeping. humans are bound to make mistakes, and us with adhd are bound to make more. it's fine, let yourself breathe. im not saying we cannot do anything right or that our mistakes are permissible, but missing an alarm clock or forgetting things we want to say are not surprising. it's just embedded inside us, so either be miserable for the rest of your life or work on reframing your thoughts on failure in general.

reminder #2: you can learn how to be better even if you don't beat yourself up for it

these neurotypical adults who tell you that you should feel bad about failing are stupid. and whoever tell you that negative reinforcement is needed for you to get better are the dumbest motherfuckers ever.

you don't need to feel bad to ge better.

in fact, once you don't feel too bad about it, you can focus more on how to do better in the future instead of replaying the past over and over again.

literally after almost failing college, i only realized that i should not be hard on myself. literally. i remember deciding i should try being nice on myself and now boom! i feel better AND i actually have been working towards fixing my life more and more.

and you know whats the best part?? i can finally start enjoying my life again!!

reminder #3: not everything you do is a failure. seriously.

this is a thought pattern i keep seeing in every person with adhd.

"nothing i can do is right" WRONG!!!! you do some things wrong but you also do some things right!!!! quit discrediting yourself

now try acknowledging your failures:

cry about it first. let yourself sit in and feel your feelings first. you can continue after you finish crying about it

do some form of meditation that helps you clear out your mind. i suggest just 5 minutes or until you don't feel as heavy anymore

let yourself know that failing is an action and consequence, not a part of your identity. it is not you: you are someone who succeeds and fails sometimes. you can fail, but that does not mean everything you do will be a failure.

identify what kind of failure you're thinking about , why you feel so shitty about it, and what you should do for next time. it'd be good if you could write this down. here is an example from me:

failure: failing out of class

what happened: i failed bc i kept procrastinating and ended up sleeping in, so i could not submit on time

consequences of event: i had to retake the class, paid a significant amount of money, and now i cant graduate on time with my friends

why i feel shitty: i feel so left behind and stupid. i feel like this is such a stupid mistake that was easily avoidable.

and now i have so many thoughts in my mind right now, like "how can i be so stupid? how can i be so careless? this is such a stupid mistake."

now notice. if you also think like this, you are actively judging yourself. you are being so mean to yourself, and for what? would you ever told your friends they are so stupid and dumb for making careless mistakes? even if it's stupid, you wouldn't say it to their faces.

after identifying everything, confirm what actually happened, reframe your thoughts, and apologize to yourself:

"How can I be so careless?" -> It's not intentional, and I did try my best to work on it. It's not my fault my executive dysfunction took over the better part of me.

"How can I be so stupid?" -> Just because I cannot initiate tasks as well as the others, it doesn't mean i'm stupid. i am pretty good at other things, i cannot expect myself to be good at everything.

"This is such a stupid mistake." -> It is stupid, and that's... okay. It's fine. I accept it, I'll work on how to make it better in the future.

when you combat negative thoughts, make sure you combat them not only with facts but also with empathy and future action-focused thoughts.

the key is to focus on what you can do now, not what you should have done.

because focusing on the past is very very unhelpful.

now please focus on what you can do now:

Make small goals for the future.

What you should not say:

"I promise I will try harder to focus" -> Nope, you are relying on your ADHD symptom to not be ADHD anymore... which is impossible.

"I promise I won't forget next time" -> Same thing.

"I promise I will make a routine that I will stick to" -> This is too idealist, don't commit to anything for a long run, it's just setting yourself up for more failure.

What you should say instead:

"Next time, I will try to write it down so I won't forget next time" -> Tell yourself the clear steps on what you need to do. You cannot rely on your brain to just be better, come up with actions that can support you!

"Next time, I will set more alarms and ask a friend to remind me. In fact, I will do it now" -> Commit to things you can do immediately! The faster, the better so you won't lose this momentum. Stop thinking that your future self is 100% reliable. Always assume you need to do it as soon as possible to help yourself in the future.

"Next time, I will try out this routine and see if it works or not" -> Experiment with routines. Routines don't last long, so don't give youreelf empty promises. Instead, accept that your routine will chance every once in a while so you need to learn what works or not.

Apologize and forgive yourself

Say sorry to yourself.

It's normal to make mistakes, and it's unrealistic to think you won't make more.

Move on

Seriously. Don't sit on it too much.

Once you know what you need to do to not fail in the future and you have written it down... just let it go.

You don't need to feel bad to grow. You don't need to feel bad to be better.

You are allowed to feel good about yourself.

In fact, you should feel better about yourself now because you are showing your commitment to getting better by reading this long ass post.

Pat yourself in the back.

Failure has its consequences already, you don't need to punish yourself more. Please get something nice.

Failing is EXHAUSTING. Please give yourself a snack or some gaming time.

Allow yourself to breathe.

We are humans, we are not failures. We succeed and fail sometimes, not all the time.

Be nice to yourself, you have been through a lot.

[hinamie]

wanted 2 make a bit of an update post to get a few things off my chest bc i feel like i've been a bit quiet on here compared 2 normal and for that i apologize gsdhjgfdsj I promise I will do better at being chronically online

in all seriousness though, ever since the jjk manga ended, I've started experiencing th dilemma where I am feeling less inspired but also twice as pressured to continue living up to the standard I set for myself by being so active while the manga was ongoing. i'm finding it's taking longer than it should to finish pieces that are not challenging enough to warrant the extra hours, it's harder to come up with what I think are original concepts, and overall i'm just anxious that the high i've been riding since april has finally begun its descent.

I know logically tht these expectations i'm worried about being unable to meet are entirely self-imposed. I /know/ that not every piece needs to be a profound character tribute packed with symbolism and hidden meanings, but tht doesn't change the fact that it still feels really disappointing when I try to dig for that emotional component that I was really loving in the art that was inspired by later manga chapters, only to come up short. I'm feeling myself defaulting back to drawing My Ship Posed Cutely, or Character Lineup In Cute Outfits, whereas before I was really feeling like my art was touching something beyond just surface-level aesthetic. This isn't to say that I don't think I can ever get back to creating those harder-hitting pieces, or that I /dislike/ my more lighthearted aesthetically-driven work, I'm just frustrated at myself for feeling like I have to now dig for what used to be so readily available.

there's no conclusion to this story gfhjsgd this is rly just a vent post. i've been doing this long enough to know that this is just part of what happens with any creative hobby. periods of feeling uninspired unfortunately come with the territory, n it makes sense that those feelings wld be exacerbated now that the series i take my main inspiration from has come to a standstill for the time being. but I don't feel burnt out on jjk yet, which is reassuring in that it means I know I still Want to draw the characters, no matter how boring or overdone all of my current ideas feel. i'm in no rush to move on from jjk as my main fandom either, although I do see myself sprinkling in more art for other series to pass the time n keep me Inspired while I wait for s3. so for those of you who found me through my art (probably most of u), i guess also pls take this as both warning and reassurance that you most likely Will see me start drawing for other fandoms in the coming months, but don't take it as meaning I've abandoned drawing for jjk

and as always, thank u all for sticking with me and for all the support and lovely words on my art, it rly does make my days brighter <3

[ozzy-boy]

Jealous headcanons for your faves pls?

oh my god oh my god oh my god.

Cole:

-Jealous Jealous Jealous. The MOST jealous do I even need to say it???

-He's jealous about EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. Hell, he'll be jealous of stuffed animals on your bed or your phone if you're paying attention to it and not him. Cole will get jealous of the pillow you lay your head on and insist you should lay on him instead.

-Horrifically, gut-twistingly jealous of other people. He tries not to let it show around you too much, but he's still pretty obvious about it.

-He gets this tight-lipped smile and talks through his teeth when he's jealous. You'll probably see his eye twitch too.

-"Ah... you got coffee with them, huh? I'm so... happy you had fun, darling."

-Although he only smiles along with it when you're with him. When Marshmallow isn't around, he really lets it out.

-Pacing back and forth, fingernails digging into his own skin to alleviate all the pent up emotions inside him, all the anger. The dark expression on his face along with his grinding teeth showing a side of him you'll hopefully never get to see.

-He just doesn't understand why you waste your time with these low-lives. They're so far beneath you- they can't possibly love you like he does.

-As far as he's concerned no one else should even breathe the same air or look in your direction. Hates hates hates having to share his beloved with anyone else.

-He knows deep down that it's unreasonable for him to feel this way, but he can't help it! He can't stand having your attention taken away from him.

Scale:

-Despite how much he tries to hide it, deep down, Scale is very insecure.

-He can take lives and throw himself into training like it's nothing. When it comes to his profession, Scale is extremely confident. Relationships are another story.

-Scale is genuinely in disbelief that you like him.

-I feel like he doesn't fully understand why he's jealous of others around you.

-When Scale is jealous, he gets easily annoyed and snippy. Chances are he may say something really mean without intending to.

-He instantly regrets it and looks like a kicked puppy, so it's hard to stay mad at him for it.

-Scale kind of operates under the assumption that eventually, you'll get bored and break up with him. He's defaulted to trying to keep your relationship at arms length so it doesn't hurt as much when it happens.

-Well, that's what he tells himself. It's hard to stay distant from someone like you. Sometimes, seeing you interact so happily with other people reminds him of how temporary your relationship is.

-Little does that idiot know, he's stuck with you for life. Please kiss his dumb face and remind him of that fact.

[townsenddecades]

1333 – Day 2 – Townsend Farm (3/3)

Amye knows her father doesn’t like sending her to the tavern alone, but with him, Malcolm and their mother busy, Adeline even younger than her and Hawise still frail, she can’t help but point out that there is no other option. Not if they want to hire the labourers they need.

Amye doesn’t mind, really. If anything, she is glad to get away from the desolate scene at home. They are still mourning her grandfather and little nephew and grappling with losing their home like that. They may be making progress, but everyone is still terribly anxious.

Truth be told, so is she. They may be rebuilding their home now, but what if another fire consumes it all over again? They still don’t know what started it. It is a small miracle that all of them have come out of this relatively unscathed, but she knows that her parents worry. Next time, they might not be so lucky.

And what if all this rebuilding means that they won’t be able to pay their taxes? Everyone has heard tell of those who default on the lord’s due. They may be imprisoned, or killed, or even thrown back into serfdom in recompense. It is vital that they get back to normal as soon and as cheaply as possible, and that all of them do their part for that. Including her.

She just doesn’t know what to do. In addition to helping rebuild, she spends as much time knitting by candlelight as she can, but the little sleep she gains by that leaves her more exhausted by the day, not helped by the fact that her bed is made up of some blankets on the floor on most nights. And even that isn’t enough! Her parents try to keep it to themselves, but she has overheard them. Their money is quickly running out.

It is probably for this reason that she doesn’t simply retire to her rented room once she has talked the tavern owner about labourers for their farm, and to some of the men he directs her to. He also promises to send any other men that come in looking for work their way. With that, her errant is finished. She should simply go to sleep.

But she can’t bring herself to. After all the tension of the last few days, it is simply too tempting to just lose herself in the raucous chatter of the common room for a while. And the alcohol she is served doesn’t hurt, either. It’s stronger than she anticipated, but she doesn’t mind, especially when she walks around looking for a table and spots a familiar face.

“Sir Silas!”, she calls out and walks over to him. “It seems we are destined to run into each other in taverns.”

He had seemed thoughtful, staring down at the table, and only jerks up at her called-out greeting. “Mistress Amye! So it seems. What are you doing here? Is your father with you?” He looks around, his brow creasing when he can’t spot her father. She quickly shakes her head.

“No, I was sent here on an errant. Alone.” It occurs to her that he might not have heard about their plight yet, so she tells him about the fire, their rebuilding and their need for workers. The lines on his face deepen the more she speaks.

When she finishes, he sighs. “I’m genuinely sorry to hear of your misfortune. How awful. But I’m glad your family survived.”

“We’ve been lucky”, she says, sipping her drink. By now, she is starting to feel tingly. “But what are you doing here?”

“I was on an errant of my own and stopped by to spend the night. I assume you will be doing the same? It is already dark outside.”

She answers in the positive, and for a while, they just sit there talking to each other. Amye has always liked this serious and yet caring knight. The fact that his presence gives her someone to talk to – and a sense of safety – is only a bonus. He tells her about happenings in town and expresses his condolences when he learns that her grandfather passed away shortly before the fire.

Amye eats while they talk and has some more alcohol to wash it down. If nothing else, both it and the company make her feel looser than she even expected. So what if she feels a little unsteady when she gets up to go upstairs?

To her surprise, Sir Silas rises with her. He seems a little startled at it himself.

“I hope you know that your family can count on my support”, he says, haltingly. “I feel…connected to you all, somehow, after what happened to your uncle.”

She blinks at him. “That’s very kind of you.”

“Not at all. It’s my duty.” He hesitates for a moment, and she can see him deliberate whether to say what is on his mind. She puts a hand on his forearm to encourage him, and he takes a deep breath. “It pains me to see such a beautiful, lively young woman as yourself so downtrodden. I want you to know that I will do what I can to ensure everything turns out alright.”

He says this with such heartfelt earnestness that she can’t help the tears that fill her eyes, probably a result of the pressure she has been under for weeks now. A part of her wants to do nothing so much as weep, but she is still in possession of herself enough to not want to do that in a crowded tavern room.

“You are a true knight, sir”, she says earnestly. “I don’t know how we could ever repay you.”

“You could let me escort you upstairs, to make good on my promise”, he says, with a slight chuckle. “The stairs here a rather narrow, and I wouldn’t want you to fall.”

He holds out his arm to her, as if she were a gentlewoman instead of a mere peasant girl, and she can’t help but giggle as she takes his arm. Foolish, she thinks, but she enjoys picturing herself as a great lady too much to really care.

Silas truly hadn’t meant to act on the draw the young woman undeniably has on him. How could she not? She is barely twenty, vivacious, and above all beautiful with her sparkling grey eyes, lively as a storm-tossed sea, and curling raven hair. He enjoys being in her company and hearing her talk. Her coming along this evening, when he had been so despondent over the emptiness of his life, seemed like a gift by the Watcher Herself.

But he has also always disdained those of his rank that sport with the affections and, ahem, favours of women like her. Much as her talk amuses and her beauty beguiles him, he knows he shouldn’t make her an outcast by despoiling her.

But then she turns to him once they reach the upper storey, where the tavern’s rented rooms are, light dancing in her eyes. “I think it was for the better that you accompanied me up here. I think I might really have fallen without you steadying me!”

“It was nothing”, he says quickly and tries not to think about how close she is to him. How can it be that a mere peasant girl causes such longing in him? He thinks the distance since their last meeting has made it worse – he has thought about her far more often than he should admit.

“It was not nothing”, she says emphatically. “Talking to you has made me feel better than you could know.”

“I could say the same”, he responds, with a small, forced smile. “I was feeling quite lonely until you approached me.”

“Which is a shame”, she responds with a little smile. “For you, I mean. Not for me. I am quite glad that you were here.”

It is that that makes his resolve break, somehow. Just hearing that someone is glad for him to be there. Elea had stopped giving him that feeling more than a decade ago, and ever since, he has been forced to live with being married to a woman that doesn’t want and children that neither know and nor need him. His marital life is a failure. A disgrace.

And so, in longing and desperation and pain, he surges forward and presses his lips to those of Amye Townsend, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist. She is lithe and warm in his arms as he forces her to lean back a little, not paying attention to much other than the feeling of her lips under his.

That is, until he notices that she has become stiff as a statue in his grasp. He retreats immediately and stares into her wide, shocked eyes.

“I’m…I’m sorry”, he rasps out, suddenly recollecting where they are and what he has done. “I shouldn’t have-”

“I didn’t know you felt that way about me”, she cuts him off, blinking, but slowly, a smile forms on her face. “I had hoped, but…”

“You hoped?”

“Didn’t my talk about how great a man you are give you a hint, sir?”, she teases him, grabbing his hands and pulling him closer to her again. “Then maybe, I need to make myself a little clearer.”

And with this, it is like a dam has broken. All of their passion and longing pours out, no doubt spurred on by the miserable state both of them are in. Silas knows that he should stop this, especially when, after they have spent he doesn’t know how many minutes kissing, Amye steps back a little to hoarsely suggest moving this to the room she has already rented, lest some other patron stumbles upon them.

It is foolish, and Silas suspects that he won’t be able to hold back once he has her behind a locked door. But he agrees.

They go to her room, and neither of them even suggests holding back as they stumble into bed together.

It is only when they are resting on the bed afterwards, Amye slumbering beside him, that the lustful haze recedes from Silas’ mind and allows him to see exactly what they have done.

He dresses quietly, so as not to wake the young woman, his mind racing. The best he can do for her right now is to not spend any more time in her room. And truth be told, he thinks he needs some distance to fully process what has happened.

She had been a maiden, that much had been obvious. But she isn’t anymore, because of him. Part of him wants to reproach himself for it – she is young, she had been unprotected, and vulnerable, and her judgement had been softened by the spirits she had indulged in – but sharing her bed has also given him more peace than he has known in years, if only for a moment. And he can’t claim that he doesn’t feel less wound-up than before.

With any luck, no one has taken notice of their actions, and if she doesn’t conceive from this, no harm has been done. He can go back to his position in town, and she can eventually marry some peasant boy with no one the wiser.

The more he thinks about it, the more he comes to realize that pretending nothing ever happened will be the best course of action, for her especially. He is an aging knight. Even if he married her, she would be a widow before long. Him leaving now is in both of their best interests.

Before he slips out of the room, he takes one last look at her, his heart aching. She looks so peaceful and lovely, as if fashioned by the Watcher Herself. But she is a peasant, he is a knight. More than that, her family needs her. Their moments together have been lovely, but it is all there can ever be.

Previous: 1333, Day 2, Part 2/7 <--> Next: 1333, Day 2, Part 4/7

[transmascutena]

I think it's interesting how one of the healthiest relationships in the show is Wakaba and Utena's friendship. Obviously, it has its flaws and tensions. But those tensions arise directly from the concept of being "special," from Wakaba dealing with their sense of inferiority towards Utena, who actively puts their sense of self-worth in winning these duels to keep Anthy at their side (a noble Prince...) People talk about Tatsuya being rejected as a Black Rose duelist a lot, but it's so notable that he's rejected because he's just...a more emotionally mature, less toxic person. Yeah, his heart is broken, but there is something decidedly human and mundane about how he approaches the conflict by asking, "What's wrong with me?" He sees him and Wakaba as two equals, he doesn't put their love conflicts on a pedestal, and he wants genuine solutions and hopes to confront his own flaws to understand why Wakaba rejected him.

Literally no one else is doing it like him.

A key theme in this show is critique of the nuclear family, but an extension of that theme is how said family unit breeds deep dysfunction into the characters' lives. The lack of communal infrastructure means characters are constantly putting their eggs in one basket. Everyone wants to return to their past because Ohtori and the patriarchal system doesn't offer chances to form new connections outside of the ones born of your trauma/childhood. Their lives are defined by their suffering. I view Wakaba and Utena's relationship as so important BECAUSE of how mundane it is, these 2 people met and they became friends and they eat bentos together and Wakaba views herself as non-special, but she doesn't realize how severely fucked up and lonely all the special people are.

I could go on. I want to write essays about this anime, for real. But it's something that struck me as I watch the show for the first time.

one of the reasons i find utena and wakaba's friendship so interesting and appealing is the fact that it and its issues are so mundane in the middle of all melodrama of the duels and the student council relationships and all of those things. their flaws feel very real for a teenage friendship, and they're all things i can personally relate to on some level. they obviously genuinely care about each other, but their friendships suffers from them not truly understanding each other, mostly because of their own lacking communication (utena doesn't tell wakaba any of the weird things going on in her life, probably out of some desire to protect her from it, and wakaba doesn't tell utena how upset that makes her, and ends up resenting her.) and it's completely accurate what you said about the tragedy of wakaba wanting to be special like utena is, but not realizing that said "specialness" comes at the cost of abuse and trauma. ohtori (akio) purposefully obfuscates that abuse to make it seem like something you should want. trying to disguise grooming as romance, etc. etc. the beauty of the rose hides its thorns and all that.

i'm not sure i'd call it the healthiest relationship in the show (although the bar is so low that it probably is by default) but it's important that the ways in which it is harmful are so normal. who hasn't ever been bad at communicating their feelings to people they care about? who hasn't kept secrets that they probably shouldn't? who hasn't grown apart from a middle school friend once new things started happening in their life? i'd argue that the flaws in the show's other relationships are also pretty normal when you strip away the layers of metaphor and symbolism from them (in the sense that abuse is exceedingly common.) but utena and wakaba's friendship exists almost entirely outside of that, which makes it stand out.

[eldritch-elrics]

i started playing the silent hill 2 remake!

uhh... buckle up i guess, because i have a LOT to say. probably too much to say. (and probably will have even more to say in the future - i will make a liveblogging tag!)

i got as far as the entrance to the woodside apartments and then stopped. overall, i'm really enjoying it!

i think that what surprised me most - as someone whose experience with game remakes admittedly comes most from nintendo games and the 2018 shadow of the colossus - is how much this is not an attempt to redo sh2, but to rework or remix it. i knew this would be the case to some extent, but it both surprised and excited me how little of the original game's finer details of progression are left intact. i thought i would know where to go, which paths to take, which items to look for, and then... i didn't! this is very fun! it means that even though i played the original about a month ago, and it's still fresh in my mind, i'm still getting the "new player" experience to some extent. on a meta level, it feels like the town's ever-shifting nature has caught me off guard. it's leading me to doubt my memories of the original game, and that's just very cool!

side note: there have been a handful of moments so far where the screen pixelates a little and james clutches his head. i wonder what those indicate! i know that one of these moments happened when i tried to get onto the road where you get the radio/plank in the og, so perhaps they're little hints like "hehe, you're remembering the wrong game!" (i also love all the new little mysteries: new memos, new strange photographs that have their own space in the inventory...)

even with the changes, it feels like, so far, the new/remixed levels are in keeping with the spirit of the og. for one, you've got displaced iconic moments from the og that have been inserted into new contexts - such as the "james sticks his hand in the suspicious hole" bit, which also has a fun little difference in the fact that you have to make him stick his hand further in. (does this indicate that remake!james is less unhinged?)

overall it feels like the game is taking full advantage of the fact that it has a ton more processing power to work with. it is legitimately so cool to see silent hill rendered in such realistic detail. it makes it feel like a real town! it's so beautiful, even when it's gross and run-down. i looooove being able to enter into so many of the buildings around town. i love how much it feels like people really did live here. i love the rendering of the fog and how much consideration has been given to even the smallest, most mundane of visuals. i LOVE being able to smash windows and interact with objects inside display cases. it's like a whole new layer of the town has been unlocked. that's exactly what a remake should do - reimagine the original game with new technology.

speaking of new technology... my god are the autosaves a welcome addition. by far the aspect of the og that felt the most dated!

the acting is also very good. don't have much to say on that front yet. james undeniably feels different - a little more open, vulnerable, cautious, certainly more emotive - but i still completely accept him as a version of james. there's lots of good additions here, such as the way he clutches his side when he's hurt (had me going "poor baby..." out loud way too many times, to which my friend who was watching responded "that is a grown ass man.") or the way he looks in the direction the camera's pointing. the one James Thing i sorely miss is the way he comments on random objects he interacts with. even if it's not a lot, it's a great way to learn about him as a character, and i'm sad to lose it.

i'll use this to segue into some of the game choices i don't like:

the ui decisions are for the most part quite bad. i haaaate that the main font looks exactly like the default font in microsoft word. doesn't fit at all. i also hate the way the screen goes red around the edges when james gets hurt. it's way too unsubtle an effect, and it makes it suck ass to run around at low health. (i turned it off pretty quickly - james's slow pace and stumbling at low health are more than enough incentive to keep him healthy.)

i will begrudgingly accept the general "tutorialization" of the whole game; that's probably a necessary addition to a modern game that doesn't come with a manual, even though one of the things i enjoyed about the early silent hills was how little they explain themselves to you. some parts of the remake veer close to encroaching on the "fuck around and find out" spirit of silent hill - i didn't appreciate the reminder (like 2 hours into the game) that you can break windows to find pathways and items; that's something the player can figure out from earlier tutorials. but it's probably for the best.

another "probably for the best" decision is the little dot that turns up on screen to indicate an interactable item. it's a change that i'm definitely grateful for, but it does ruin a little bit of what i might call the "rpgmaker spirit" of running around trying to interact with every item in case james has some funny dialogue about it. (hmm, maybe that's why they have less environment-thing-description dialogue now?) but overall, in a world with this insane level of detail and realism, you kind of have to find a way to signal to players what they can interact with. maybe that could have been done in a more elegant or diegetic way? maybe they could have preserved that feeling of "oh man, the protagonist could potentially have something to say about anything!" or "whoa, anything here could be important" somehow? but who knows. it's an interesting dilemma regardless.

i'm not a huge fan of the combat so far. it seems too fast-paced. wish it were clunkier. i'm sure i'll get used to it, though.

by far i think the worst decision in the game is the "over the shoulder" camera perspective. i know that this is ultimately a holdover from resident evil 4. i know that it probably makes combat easier. i do not care. it makes james feel too separate from his environment. i want to see his whole body in the frame! i want him to feel small! like he is just one more character in silent hill! it's unfortunate but understandable that the remake had to do away with the iconic fixed camera angles of the og, but, if they were willing to make that change, i don't understand why they couldn't be more lenient with player camera control. ugh.

my final thought for now is a bit of a larger scale question. as i wandered through the town, listening to the familiar, spooky akira yamaoka ambiance, i had a very strange thought: why is there silent hill music? which is obviously a silly question, but i phrase it this way for a reason. despite everything, despite all my positive feelings on it, there is some significant way in which the remake, at least so far, does not feel like silent hill. i'm not sure what it is. it might be the slight surfeit of ui. it might be the fact that there's no grainy filter, that i'm playing it on my friend's 4k monitor. the extreme level of detail creates a fundamentally different type of realism than that which was achieved on the ps2 in 480p - a world that was uncannily realistic because you could see light and shape but little detail. honestly, it might just be the fact that the lighting and shading is so, so different. the original trilogy has an incredibly strong identity, and this remake just... doesn't fit in with a lot of the hallmarks of that identity.

there's a bit of the "shadow of the colossus 2018" question in here. i've talked before about how i think the sotc remake creates a beautiful but ultimately uninspiring atmosphere because it goes for a very generic sort of video game realism, as opposed to the bright, stark emptiness of the original game. it's hard to say that sh2r doesn't benefit from the particular aesthetic it's got going on. the level of detail legitimately does so much for it. but it also loses some parts of itself too. loses some of the spookiness for sure - i talked earlier about how much it looks like it could be a real town, but there's also some important affect that's gained from the og's feeling of stylistic wrongness, the ways in which it doesn't feel as real as it should. just something to ponder...

[familyagrestefanblog]

Actually, the Noire does not necessarily imply its a female character. The french name refers to an object and a color, Griffe Noire (Black Claw), and griffe simply is a female noun in French and that means Noir gets conjugated into Noire. That's not a stylistic choice because of the person's gender the way they did with Kitty Noire in the English dub for example (whose name is Blaqueminette in French if im not completely wrong), that's just how the language works. The option of keeping it Noir for Griffe Noire was never there.

In English they theoretically absolutely could have kept the second part of Zoe's name also as Noir too because the english word 'Kitty' isn't explicitly female coded - and especially not in this show - and neither chat nor chaton are female words in French either, they are male. Conjugating the gender in the french language (and other languages) is alot of times not necessarily actually a GENDER gender thing. No one is making the active choice to gender objects etc according to gender associations or because that's what we see. Alot of gendering is simply used in a neutral way because that's how it always was and therefore that's also how it's heard.

So with Kitty Noire in English it really was just a way to put extra emphasis on Zoé being female and to probably make it easier to seperate her name from Chat Noir and his nicknames (why they didn't get more creative with her name in the first place is beyond me though), even though the english naming system on paper wouldn't have required it. Her name would have worked too if they kept it Kitty Noir and honestly criticizing stuff like that on a gender basis when it comes to animals and colors is high-key a nitpick in my opinion.

Zoé wouldn't have been suddenly less of a girl just because there was no e on the Noir, especially when it wasn't combined with a female word anyway (though for LGBT purposes it could be very useful). And the same goes the other way around. But for comparison, Lady Noire DOES need the e because lady is a female word, whereas Kitty is not.

Griffe is a French word of an object and since it's the french version everyone watching it knows that and therefore hears it more as a "titel" or, well, a hero/ villain secret identitiy name rather than making a legit name out of it the way the english speaking Fandom turned Chat into Chad and Rena (Fox) into just a first name too. Those words are animals first and foremost, not first names.

The english language doesn't gender everything the way french does so I totally get taking the Noire at face value because up til now almost all french miraculous names were chosen accordingly to the characters gender but the name goes back to Claw Noir in English, so here we most likely simply have the case that the name sounded cool in French and the show said fuck it and didn't wanted to limit the naming system by gender anymore (which, if I may point out should rather be seen as a step forward for this show in terms of equality. Why it has taken THIS long for them to stop strictly limiting the names to what object and animal words just so happen to correspond with the genders by coincidence is a loaded question)

My native language German also has claw as a female noun (Kralle) and when I image a hero/ villain name for a male character with that word it sounds cool as hell and unisex by default. That wouldn't change if the character were female either.

The fact that claw is female changes nothing about how cool the name sounds and that's how I'm reading Griffe Noire too. It's just a cool name.

Although I do have to say, "Griffe Noire" in this regard does sounds more like an hero/ villain identity on top of an already existing individual name than an actual name because of the gender thing the same way Kitty Noir would have done, while Toxinette on paper could remain a villain character of her own without a secret identitiy. Like Shego, that's the vibe.

Though im pretty sure the only reason for why Griffe Noire being for a male character now reads with the direct implication of "whoever that is, he definitely has a secret real name" is simply because the show itself trained you from the start to put more emphasis on what gender the names have than it was ever actually necessary in the first place. If the show had from the start went with more unisex names for the holders because, again, it's just animals and colors, then Adrien's name here would have never causes confusion.

if it does take place directly after destruction, that would explain the shot of adrien sitting in his room in the dark staring at his ring. the plot of the movie may or may not tie in to the two of them coming to grips (or failing to come to grips) with possibly killing a man, reflected in whatever's going on with the alternate versions. (shadybug seems to be marinette, but claw noire isn't adrien- or is she?)

I'm not counting on Shadybug being Marinette just yet - that's the most likely explanation, but we haven't seen a clear enough shot to be sure. Especially since Socqueline exists.

And as for Claw Noire... yeah, the fact that the name ends in "Noire", with an "e", definitely implies female. I'm betting that "what happened with Adrien" is gonna be a major plot point in the movie. Maybe Claw Noire is Zoe?

[ryuichirou]

When did Jamil come to the realization that he was a Bottom? That he enjoyed being the Bottom? You can’t convince me that Jamil didn’t go in fully believing he was gonna be a Top.

To be honest, I don’t think Jamil has ever had thoughts about these things prior to getting intimate with Kalim (I’ll use Kalim as an example because KaliJami is the most prominent Jamil ship). His life is full of other things he has to keep in mind and worry about at all times, and even though he’s super overstressed and should probably take some time to let himself ~relax~, getting with someone close enough to actually have sex sounds like a hassle to him. It’s much easier to just masturbate.

So, if he were to imagine himself having sex back then, he probably wouldn’t think outside the “default” box, which means he probably didn’t even think about “top” and “bottom” as categories that apply to him in any way, shape or form.

But once things between him and Kalim begin to get spicier and he realises that Kalim wants to have sex with him, everything will happen naturally… because Kalim definitely wasn’t planning on being a bottom either, he wasn’t even thinking about these things, he just wanted to touch Jamil. And Jamil is someone who gets naturally good at whatever he does, even if he’s still inexperienced, so…

Reflecting on everything that’s going on between them, Jamil could justify his position by thinking that he just gives in to Kalim’s whims, like he always does; but at the same time if he tried to imagine them switching places, he would probably think that bottoming is too difficult of a task for Kalim, and preparing him for it is just going to be another headache for none other than, yep, Jamil again. “It isn’t even worth it”, “it wouldn’t be appropriate, considering my status”, there are tons of excuses Jamil can come up with not to think about the fact that he kind of enjoys bottoming.

Of course, this is our interpretation, Anon. We’re not convincing anyone.

[marshmallowprotection]

From a creepy dark and deranged perspective- which Saeran is most likely to have a creepy cult wedding / binding ritual to Mc . BE style

Ray. I don't think I need to go into detail about this, either. You probably already had him in mind when you asked the question. I think we're all in agreement that it would be Ray, if no one else. He has enough fantasies in that pretty little head of his about keeping you in this castle until the universe collapses and the sun is blowing up. I don't dare put it past him to think a wedding would be a good idea to tie you together to him forever. He can’t lose you if you’re bound in matrimony.

I can't see Suit Saeran or Unknown leaning toward this angle in the slightest. It’s not like Unknown wants to commit to anything. He doesn’t like labels, in fact, the man just lets you see him as nameless, a default setting, a man without a name in all regard. You’re a tool. You’re his eyes. Why would you be his partner? Now, the only way I could see him leaning that way would be if it hurt Saeyoung in any way. That’s about it. He would go through with it if it meant that he could hurt the RFA.

Suit Saeran wouldn’t do it. No, i can see why it would be easy to assume that he would choose this path to take something from Ray, but no. There’s something... terrifying to him about being trapped in a box. Funny coming from a guy that said your room his personal toy box.

But, marrying you like this... sure, maybe there’s room to argue that he might toy with the idea to see your expression, to tell you that he’d marry you thinking that it would placate his Savior enough to allow him to keep you, but... it’s no different than you being his toy or the party coordinator. Not even a marriage would keep you safe. You know, the very thing he realizes he wants to do after his cycle of confusion and anger.

But, you are specifically talking about the act of a marriage within Mint Eye as something that is intended to bind you to him. So, who else but Ray would want to do something so binding and tight with you in the first place? This would be a band-aid for his paranoia when it comes to losing you. If he has proof that you’re tied to him this way, should he be afraid? He can’t lose you if you’re married and the confines of marriage mean that you’re only with him.

So Ray Route Bad Ending 1, Another Story Prologue Bad Ending, Another Story Day 4 Bad Ending, and V Route Bad Relationship Ending 1 are timelines where I can see this playing out. There is a way to rationalize these endings as paths to this conclusion, though, there the way that you get to him suggesting marriage is different since these endings have vastly different angles that lead you inside of them. Like, V’s BRE1, for example.

You showed no interest in V the way Rika wanted. She shrugged and decided to give you back to Ray since she has no benefit in being interested in you if there is nothing tying you back to V’s interest. Ray wants you to forget about the RFA now and you bring them up much to his chagrin. So, he decides to lock up in the suite until he decides how to fix this. It isn’t a stretch for me to imagine that in his little fairytale fantasy brain that the way to bring you back to him would be to give you that happily ever after and show you the way to be truly happy with your real prince.

Or, perhaps, in the Prologue BE, after he takes you on his assistant for some time, his paranoia at losing you for not being able to keep up with his work ethic would bring him to realize that his Savior could take you away. He would search his brain for hours to find something that could keep you with him, and since this is a cult loaded with Catholic trauma, he might just assume that being married to you would keep you safe. Now, that hugely depends on how useful Rika thinks it might be. Hell, she’d probably agree to it if it meant that she had another pawn in her hands to incentivize Ray.

So, I very much believe that this could happen in a Bad Ending at some point if the idea is presented to Ray as something that will fix it. [Spoiler Alert: it doesn’t fix anything.]

[saltylandland]

Random characterization for Leona

He cares so much. Part of the reason why I relate to him so much is because I can tell that he cares as much as he tries to prove otherwise. A good parallel I see is with Jamil, Leona always felt like he was pushing down any shred of energy or ambition he has, but he radiates energy regardless. With his mindset (no matter what he does he will never win/be good enough) he has to discourage himself every day because he doesn’t want to be let down again. He stifles himself out of spite, he knows he is and can be great but it’ll never be good enough for people, so why should he try for anyone? He doesn’t want their pity (bc he believes everyone knows he’s fighting a losing game) but In contrast Jamil has to stifle himself, his talents and ambition. It feels like Jamil is legitimately tired but Leona is only pretending to be tired. ‘fake it til you make it I suppose’.

He loves his family, but the resentment he’s built makes it hard to talk to them. Due to the purposeful hate from the servants but there was also probably some damaging habits done from his family. You don’t have to be an evil mastermind to hurt or abuse someone. A lot of abusers don’t recognise the damage they do for one reason or the other. (another thing I can relate to) regardless I think he definitely has self sabotaging thoughts especially when it comes to his family. Also keeping up with a little kid is exhausting lol, especially when you don’t like kids. Especially when you see that kid grow up with everything you ever wanted (load of attention, praise, love) it’s more visceral watching that happen a second time, not just to your brother. (also it strangely reminds me of those situations, say you grow up with an emotionally absent father/mother, maybe they were not ready to be a parent so they couldn’t be there for you, whatever, right? But then when you’ve grown up you visit them and they have a completely new life, giving your younger sibling the things you had always wanted but never got, so they are capable to love like that, they just couldn’t do that for you. That is just gut wrenching right?) one thing I think that makes Leona’s backstory more tragic to me than riddles (bc they were back to back Leonas backstory and riddles are compared a lot) is that riddle had friends, and he later had them help him through all this shit as he is becoming better and recognising the trauma his mother put him through. Leona had and has nothing, ruggie isn’t his friend and considering he’s freaking 20, the self sabotaging habits have probably set in a long time ago. Which means he’s definitely self isolated from anyone that could have helped. Plus he’s a prince so it’s not like making friends would be easy even if he had a good childhood. It’s also a lot harder to see a grown adult act spitefully then watch a child break down sobbing. Not to mention chapter 2 was so badly handled and written.

He values emotional and mental strength not just physical strength [going on a lil side tangent, I know the reasons why they made beastwomen physically stronger than the men but I don’t like how that was the default? Nothing wrong with physically strong women but that still petuates the belief that the only valuable strength is traditionally masculane traits like physical power and stubbornness, and twst is just a small example hollywood in general has a huge problem with this, why does any ‘strong female character’ need to always display masculane traits in order to be recognised as strong?] Even as an emotionally stunted character that he is, I think he begrudgingly (and secretly) admires those who still manage to be kind even though the majority of his brain thinks that person is just foolish. Also we all know that he values strategy just as much as physical strength.

He is kind. Despite the fact that he’s a classic tsundere, he has never really fought anyone unless he’s provoked? He’s more of a ‘scare them off’ kind of guy and he avoids using excessive force (for lots of other reasons that aren’t from the kindness from his heart, yes, but still) and he’s generous. Weirdly it’s kind of the same criticism aimed at Lottie from the princess and the frog? The ‘rich person won’t give their money to their poor friend and has them work for them ):|’ But do you really think ruggie would take handouts? Yeah I think that ruggie does way too much for leona but ruggie is the one who benefits from it. That’s how ruggie makes easy money, by picking up after leona lol

I'll definitely add more to this list as I think of more, this is just the tip of the iceberg hooooo boi. 

Also if you disagree or have more to add feel free to tell me in an ask! Just be respectful please!

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

If you're still doing the Descendants prompts? "What do you mean I'm grounded?" CJ yelled into the phone. "You can't ground me!"

I am still doing the prompts! When I have the time and when I like them, anyway.

I hope you enjoy this!

And al tinny bit of background info for this fic. There are following background relationships at play: Harriet Hook/Anthony Tremaine (Because that’s my default by now, honestly), and Ben/Harry Hook/Uma (Because it’s funny in this prompt.) If you look for it, you might also find CJ/Freddie, but, you know. Romantic relationships are a suggestion, and the only characters that appear are Ben and CJ anyway.

So, right. The story. Enjoy!

Ben takes a deep breath and presses the call button: The cheery dial tone sounds through the otherwise empty room. He should figure out how to change it, but oh, well. Still better than the Auradonian hymn his previous phone had as a default for everything.

The tone stops, replaced by mildly annoyed „Yeah?“ and a blur of gold and red appears on the screen. He stares at it for a bit.

Well.

He did not expect her to actually pick up.

„Hey? Beastie-princeling?“ 

Ben frowns at the unnecessarily elaborate and also factually incorrect nickname.

„What d’ya want?“

The camera jumps and jumbles around and momentarily focuses on the background, and, oh sweet heavens, she is running. She is running.

That, knowing CJ Hook, is never a good sign. (There are no good signs whatsoever when it comes to her, Ben thinks.)

Anyway, he gathers all his nerves and calmly states:

„CJ. You are grounded.“

The picture comes to halt and the camera abruptly focuses on CJ’s dishevelled expression, and, wait, is that soot on her cheek?!

„What?!“ she yells into the phone, „You can’t do that!“

„Why not?“ he asks, trying very hard to start calm.

She looks into the distance, frowns, and then grins: „You don’t have the authority to do so! Now, excuse me for a moment–“

The video starts jumping around again, and Ben tries very hard to ignore the faint curses and, wait, are those gunshots?!

What on Earth is she doing?!

„CJ!“ he calls out, „What is going on?!“

Harry would probably be upset if anything happened to his little sister, and, goodness, Ben himself has grown somewhat attached to the troublemaker. Against his better judgement, but hey. The other people who kidnapped him also turned out to be quite great, so honestly, cease point.

No answer, though. Just more blurry lines and more shouting and CJ‘s fast breathing. He is surprised she didn’t hang up yet, but honestly, maybe she just forgot he was calling. That happens.

„CJ!“ He calls out again anyway.

„Ssh!“ she shushes him, whisper-yelling, „Not now, princey boy! I’m running for my life, can’t you see?!“

…Is it bad that he can’t actually tell if she’s exaggerating or not? It is, right?

What did she do this time?

Honestly, as if the robbed bank from yesterday  wasn’t enough!

(The only reason why she isn’t running from the police right now is that when she robbed the bank, she proceeded to throw the money up in the air at the steps and throw a dance party to It’s Raining Men for all the bystanders and staff to attend. Oh, and the fact that he still doesn’t have a functional police force, as Uma keeps reminding him.)

So Ben is left staring at blurry colours and imagining the worst case scenario. He’d rather not, thank you.

And thankfully, it’s not too long until CJ’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts again.

„Yeah?“ she asks, „What did you want, majesty?“

Ben knows only about four other people who can say „Majesty“ like it is an insulting nickname at best. Two of them are her siblings.

He breathes out and for the second time that day, he tells her that she is grounded.

„What?! You can’t do that!“

Yep. Just like the first time. He can’t help the smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

„Why not?“

„Eh, I don’t know. You just don’t have the authority to do so,“ she waves her hand dismissively, flashing bloodied knuckles in front of the camera. Oh, dear.

Now, ben doesn’t really like pulling rank, however much certain other people seem to enjoy doing so, but in this case? He genuinely thinks CJ forgot that he is the High King of Auradon.

„…And?“

„I’m the High King, CJ.“

„…I heard you the first time. I just don’t know how that gives you the authority to ground me.“

Of course she doesn’t.

„Hey, excuse me for a moment–“ She partially covers the camera with her palm and yells something Ben is fairly sure are horrific death threats in pirate slang, too wild for him to keep up. Not that he particularly wishes to hear her death threats. Just saying. She can be very creative, and, in fact, Ben would be very glad if she toned that down a little.

„Yeah, we’re good. Where were we? Oh, right! Just because you are the king doesn’t mean that I have to listen to you!“

Ben silently starts praying.

Then he says: „I’m also dating your older brother. That gives me some authority to ground you, right?“

She giggles. She giggles and giggles, like the insufferable menace she is.

„No!“ she tells him, voice chiming like jingle bells, „It does not!“

„What? But Uma grounds you all the time!“

CJ makes a face at him, sticking her lips out in a caricature of a pout: „Well, yes, but, you see, boy king, Uma is actually scary. Unlike you.“

Well. That hurt. 

But it was also true.

Uma is scary, in the best and nicest way possible.

So, you know what, fair.

But…

„And what about Anthony Tremaine?“

And she goes into a ramble. Of course she does. Ben quietly ponders his life decisions as CJ explains that no, while Anthony is not really that scary, he will bitch about her and Dizzy might overhear and Dizzy will definitely tell Celia and then Freddie will know and Freddie will then be cross with her and she doesn’t  like when Freddie does that and also Anthony knows where her blackmail book is–

And Ben would say that this whole affair has more to do with the fact that Anthony has no qualms calling Harriet the second CJ starts being annoying than anything else.

Speaking of which.

„Either you and I come to an understanding, or I call Harriet.“

She whistles and grins into the camera: „You are learning, baby beast, you are learning. You must have some good influence on you. I’m willing to lay low for, say, two days if you don’t tell Harriet.“

„That–“ In the second it takes Ben’s brain to catch up, she is speaking again, because god forbid a Hook ever gave him a time to think.

„Great! See ya later, Benny boo! Gotta go, running for my life and all that! Anyway, salutations and all that, and don’t bother giving my greetings to Harry! Byeee!“

And she hung up. 

Of course she did.

But, well, Ben tried. And two days is better than nothing, right? 

…Right?

[wack-ashimself]

2008 Financial crisis dumbed down.

Watched 'The Big Short' (again), and I wanted to sum it up for people who didn't get it (cuz I did NOT the first time around).

About 2 years-ish before this all went down, a super smart guy noticed inconsistencies in what the banks AND (eventually) the government claimed about subprime (another word for weaker credit) home loans. He noticed that the weakest that were most likely to default were packaged up so they seemed more appealing, but they were way worse than the government was rating them at (in the movie, rating approval standards and practices lady basically says if we do not give them good ratings, they'll <the banks> just go down the street to a competitor, which is NOT something you want said by a government sanctioned organization.) The banks & the raters were approving everyone cuz it made them money right then and there. Both the banks and the rating's agency which answered to the government. That means THREE different organizations set up the dominoes. Big banks, the ratings board, and the government for not keeping either in check. Maybe not knocked them down, but set them up.

The smart guy realized: the lower ones rated we will call them a C, were actually closer to E's, and thus, also brought down everything above them. AAA goes to A. AA to C. Etc. (something like that). Loss of rating, loss of money. But with the banks getting higher ratings, they would look like they had stronger assets. Thus more money. More to wager. And how did they inflate this? The casino. They took those low level packages, and took bets on if they would rise or fall. THEN they took bets on THAT bet. Seriously; it is as fucking stupid and crazy as it sounds. As the movie said, it's highly complex and hard to understand BECAUSE they want you to feel like they're the only ones who can operate/navigate it. They make it difficult so you have to come to them.

So smart guy (and a few others) convinced the banks to do the stupidest thing I have ever heard: the banks created this whole new thing for them in which they bet, HARD, that these super low level home mortgage packages would utterly fail (and some mid/top level. Because remember, if the bottom falls out, everything above is then lowered. So you can bet on all of it going down, which is what happened.) Like 25 to 1 odds. And it did take 2 years, but eventually, it did fall, and create new billionaires.

The movie exaggerated a lot, but some of the main themes are:

1-the bankers NEVER cared if they failed cuz they ALWAYS knew they were 'too big to fail' (to which I've always replied: Should have failed. And gone to the locals.)

2-the bankers were not SMART, just greedy and careless.

3-banks are casinos. I mean, the complexity yet stupidity of that whole betting scheme. And then creating a WHOLE NEW casino game without checking the odds? Geez. The House lost. Banks should not be able to gamble with YOUR livelihoods. Clearly, they have nothing to lose, but WE DO!

4-Banks do control the government. Probably the federal reserve too. That's never discussed.

5-Again, how much money was lost AND created from NOTHING but...bets? That is creating nothing.

6-The movie said a fact (I think) that fucks with my head. 2 of the younger ones just got good news about their bet. Cheering, dancing, etc. Brad Pitt's character gets PISSED, and tells them to stop it. He points how many lives are going to be ruined. Jobs lost. Homelessness. Then says 'Did you know for every 1% in the rise of unemployment, 40,000 people die?' WHAT!? Everything should be locally owned and controlled. Every business worker owned. FUCK that shit.

7-The government changed nothing to stop this from happening again. IMO-about to drop hard, same way, but with student loans and car loans. I know more people who have car loans than house loans...you think they learned? Fuck no. It's a casino, and they will never stop playing the game till we check if their games are rigged (they are.)

8-When this all started to fall apart, the shady thing banks did was take these worst of the worst low level packages, sell them off, THEN report the actual numbers they were rated at, fucking whoever just bought them. AND they initially refused payout on the MASSIVE bets they just lost until they could get the money.

I just...what bugged me was for how many people placing billions on the line, losing multi millions in losses in the 2 years till it actually occurred, why NONE of the banks looked into these people's backgrounds, histories, etc? Like, if a guy comes up to me and says 'I want to give you money for two years on a stupid ass bet', if that same guy got stupid rich predicting the market, HE FUCKING KNOWS SOMETHING. Intentional negligence.

Solid movie. A little showy in places it didn't need to be. But I think I just dumbed down banking for you, and we are dumb for allowing this to continue to exist. If we bailed them out, we own em'. That's it.

tl;dr: the banks acted LITERALLY like casinos, and lost big. So the USA government bailed them out and the banks KNEW it was going to happen which is why they could operate like a casino. And still do.

Update. 1-here's the best scene to sum up their scam part 1 (taking bets on their low levels rising/falling, and bets on THOSE bets). This is what started everything. The ratings technically did, but this made that 10x worse.

part 2 on how standards and practices rigged the ratings:

and finally part 3 explaining how it set up, and how to bet against the banks.

ps-fun note. I forgot a HUGE bombshell they GLOSS over practically. Absolutely NO LAWS saying you can't go work at a big bank after working in standard's and practices. In other words, you give them good ratings, they give you a couchy job 5 years later with a stupid big bonus. EVERYTHING IS CORRUPT! But it makes sense. If you run the country and have inside info, you can still operate in the stock market...it's a big circle jerk.

[glorified-red]

Hi red! Could I get hcs with Damian? How reader and titus interact? Like do you think Titus wouldn’t like you, he would adore you at first sight,etc etc. thank you and stay safe

Thanks for the request my love! Damian needs some love today >:) I am absolutely not a dog person, yet another way the universe is trying to keep Damian and I separated. I could probably go on a huge rant about Alfred the cat simply because I am a cat person.

Damian and Titus

word count: 1080~

warnings: none

Thanks go out to @littleredwing89 and @offendedfishnoises for explaining to me how dogs work. AND a very very special thanks to @a-sketchy-jedi for one of Damians pet names for the reader, I went with a gender neutral one but I appreciated learning from you!

Titus is incredibly well-trained by Damian, he viewed it as a bonding exercise between him and the dog, but most importantly: a necessity

Damian trained the dog to become a protection dog after Bruce initially trained the dog to be a guard dog, so Titus is well versed in both, putting police dogs to shame

When Titus is around Damian, his primary objective is to protect his owner at all costs

This means Titus would much rather stay beside Damian than attack the offending person

However, if Damian wishes and commands him, Titus will attack anyone without a second thought, its the guard dog instinct in him

Titus won't really attack unless he either gets the command or has a reason to, his default is just calm and silent

So when you come along, the first meeting with Titus is a little worse than expected

When you first walk into the Manor to meet up with Damian, Titus is hot at his heels, silently watching you

Nothing happened at first, Titus was just sitting down beside Damian as you two said hello

But the second you went for a hug or a kiss, Titus was immediately peeved

He forced you off of Damian and positioned himself protectively in front of your lover, growling lowly with his ears back

Poor Titus was just a little confused because he had never seen you two kiss, and hugs look suspicious when not given by the batfam

Didn't make the huge dog any less terrifying, the forceful jump was enough to leave you scared considering how tall the Great Dane could get

Damian was mortified

Absolutely mortified

He wasn't mad at Titus, it was a simple mistake that can be solved with a bit more training, he did his job so why punish it?

But the fact that Titus jumped on you? Damian was honestly terrified you’d just walk out and refuse to be close to the dog

The last thing he wants is his two favorite companions not getting along, the thought alone scares him, he doesn't want to chose between the two of you

Damian quickly calms Titus down, going as far as squatting down in front of the dog so he could easily reassure Titus and position himself between you two in case Titus jumps again

“I apologize Ayni, I am positive he will grow to love you as much as I have, he just needs time.”

Little by little Titus will warm up to you, its pretty slow going but Damian seems to trust you and that should be enough for the dog

Damian will insist on you spending quality time with the dog, whether it be accompanying Dami as he walks the dog or petting the dog during movie nights

It takes a couple tries before Damian lets you roughhouse with the Great Dane, he doesn't want to destroy all the progress you've made, and he absolutely doesn't want to see you get jumped on again

Eventually -with the help of some treats- Titus will love playing with you, the gruff exterior melting away once he sees you (very similar to a certain someone)

Titus will become the dorkiest dog you’ve ever met, insisting he can still be a lap dog even when he's a giant, easily crushing you and Dami

If you shrug the dog off of you, Titus will just huff on collapse on your feet, crushing your precious toes under his weight

Damian will smile and softly explain to you that its a sign of love and affection

Get used to Titus rubbing his nose against your hand, you thought you were just a human tissue box, but Damian likes to believe Titus just loves you

He won't hesitate to spit out random dog facts either, whenever Titus does something specific that is

Once, Titus exposed his stomach to you and Damian, wanting a few glorious pets

“He trusts you,” Damian would say softly, gently guiding your hand to the dogs stomach

It was an amazing moment, one full of admiration because finally you got in the dogs good graces

Now the dog will never stop asking for your pets

He loves his owner with all his heart, but you give great pets and he wants them, Titus will go as far as to huff whenever you stop petting him

Titus will even tap you with his paw just to silently ask for more pets at random times of the day

Damian will never admit it, but the nights when Titus joins you for cuddles while he's at patrol, he gets a little jealous of the dog

He makes up for it by placing himself in between you two when he gets back with a subtle pout, Titus just huffs and curls up against Damian while Damian holds you

Most nights, Titus sleeps on the floor of Damians room, the protection dog in him forcing him to sleep in the corner with a full view of everything: the two of you on the bed, the window, and the doors

Damian trusts the dog to alert him if there is an intruder, so it’s very easy for him to fall asleep beside you

The last -and final- step in the bond between you and Titus, is the dog getting as protective of you as he is of Damian

That means the dog won't hesitate to perk up in the middle of the night if he hears something, barking to alert you two

Damian will go investigate (Titus knows the bat families' step sequences so he won't be barking at insomniatic bats - I’m looking at you Tim) before hushing you back to sleep, “It was nothing, my love, go back to sleep.”

You can even bring Titus with you when you go out around Gotham, the dog is now completely comfortable protecting you, growling at attackers, getting in front of you like he would with Damian, it warms your heart all the same

The subtleties of Titus’ protection is adorable

He’ll tug at your clothes gently to steer you away from trouble or guide you places

But the most adorable action of all is one he learned from you and Damian

Whenever Damian gets too worked up, frustrated or otherwise, you’ll calmly rest your hand on his knee or hand, sometimes even laying your head on his shoulder to ground him

Titus will comfort you by doing the same, laying his head gently on your knee

Taglist ♡

@anothertimdrakestan

@bungunz

@red-hood-redemption ​

[2-dsimp]

Hiya! It's 🍀 anon again! I'm here to give my thoughts on the latest choice and respond to everyone's wonderful theories! So firstly I'm gonna address some of chill's (❄) theories. Like 🐐 anon I also don't think that specifically lowering yandere's affection levels is something that will be beneficial to us in the long run. As 🐐 anon said they are yanderes so I don't think that just lowering their affection level will make them give up on us, and we really can't predict how they'll react or what they'll do in such a circumstance, but I suspect it wouldn't be pretty. Thinking of how little most of them value human life other than senpai's I personally wouldn't want to chance becoming one of the people that they wouldn't think twice before killing. The fact that we are the target of their twisted affections is both a detriment and a benefit at the same time as it puts us in their focus, but also makes our existence have meaning to them, as opposed to most other people who many of them would, kill, manipulate, or otherwise ruin their lives with very little thought. That's not to say that we aren't at risk of these things happening to us, we very much are, but if we play our cards right we may be able to avoid that. Rather than purposefully trying to lower their affections to zero, I think that for most yanderes we may want to try to keep their affection level stable. Basically unless we want to learn a skill from a yandere, I think we should try and manage their affection to stay as close to the default (or each yan's individual default should they have different ones) as possible. And regarding skills, we only get to have three of them so we should probably carefully weigh the possible benefits of whatever skill we think they'll give us and how useful of an "ally" (read: tool) they'll be to us in their own right, against how dangerous they are/how much of a risk they'll pose to our safety. In relation to ❄ 's other ask, I also don't necessarily think that rushing home immediately is the best of ideas either. While yes getting a map is vital, I think it's even more important that we take each interaction individually and make the safest decision for it, rather than just doing what will get us home the fastest. After all, getting home safely and getting our map built up is nice but if we have to snub a bunch of yanderes and raise their insanity/envy meters to do it, then it won't be so useful in the long run. That said though, I do agree that if possible we should try to get home before nighttime starts or at least asap once nighttime begins. According to our lovely host, after school time begins at 4pm, nighttime begins at 8pm, and each choice we make takes 30 minutes. So counting the number of decisions (5) we've made since the start of after school time, it is currently 6:30 pm and after we decide whether to accept Xiao's offer or not it will be 7pm. Meaning we can still get home by 8 in theory, as we will have 2 more decisions to make before it hits 8pm, and if not before then hopefully shortly there after.

Briefly regarding the other phone Xiao gave us, some people seem to think that Xiao asked us to return it, based on what he said though, I don't think that's the case. The phrasing of that statement, specifically the "and- Wait, what...?" makes me think that, although we can't see what we said, senpai actually cut in and asked to return the phone themselves, rather than Xiao putting us up to it. Whether or not Xiao actually knew it wasn't our phone is another matter entirely, he may have, he may not have. Personally I agree with ❄ on this one, I think it was a ploy to get us to come back to the gaming club room with him and spend more time with us, rather than having much to do with the phone he gave us itself, but really that doesn't matter much. As for who the phone belongs to, there really isn't enough evidence so far to say, but I do agree with 🐐 anon that Aether is a good possibility. He seems like the type who would "lose" something on purpose to get us to return it to him. Though again, that's more a guess than a theory since it isn't actually based on any evidence but rather a gut feeling.

Regarding the choice this time, I think that we should accept the offer. I agree with 🎃anon. Considering that we just started the game, his meters should in theory be pretty low, so I think it should be safe to go with him to the gaming club room despite him having 5 stars. That said though I do think we should try to ditch him as soon as we can do so safely and ideally don't wanna be around him once night time hits. So hopefully we can get home by then or at least be on our way home.

Then I have a few more questions for our lovely host. Firstly, what is our end goal here? Are there 'successful' endings for the yans that we can get under certain conditions, are we trying to survive a certain amount of time (say, until graduation maybe) at which point we'll be free, or is there no real end and our goal's simply to survive as long as possible? And secondly, since we are supposed to have our responses in by certain times (which I may have accidently been late this time oops), what time zone are those due dates measured in? That's it from me this time, I hope everyone has a happy new year!

Welcome back 🍀! Happy late New Years And to answer some of your great questions I’ll start off with the time zones

1. Denver Colorado

2. Your goal is to survive as long as possible in order to open up one of the potential endings

-True ending

-Good ending

-Bad ending

-Secret ending

However just reaching one of these endings will all depend on what you’ve accomplished so far, and to obtain a different final outcome you must die… Remember you only have 3 lives.

Each ending may have more than one possibility as some may even be linked and cause a chain reaction, or it may lead to something unexpected.

Oh this would be a great time to warn you lovely players that admirers are not the only ones gunning after you. To spice things up a bit the so called rivals will soon make their entrance so do try your best to utilize all tactics to not die an early death.

Ps…It’s all about connections

[professorspork]

If you're accepting non-superhell prompts, I'd love to see a conversation between Nora and Emerald! I've been REALLY loving these microfics, I've subscribed to you on Ao3, I'll read whatever else you write

[Gahhh that’s so nice you’re so nice!! thanks for being patient on this one, finding my Nora took some doing]

It’s occurring to Emerald that she’s never had a close female friend before.

You say that like you’ve ever had any friends before, the voice in her head that sounds suspiciously like Mercury needles her, but she brushes it aside. Like—okay, yeah, she’ll concede the point when it comes to Cinder. In hindsight, whatever they’d had going on between them may have been... super intense... but it probably had never been friendship, in the usual definition. But she and Mercury were friends, no matter what the judgy little shitstain version of him who lives in her head has to say about it. They’d always gotten along. Told each other stuff. It’s not like there’s more to it than that, right?

It had always been like that. Been—instinctive somehow, with guys. Before Cinder, on the street, it was always the men who’d been easiest to manipulate; who would empty their pockets for a smile and a sob story. And then she and Merc had been two sides of the same coin for so long, and then... well, Hazel’d liked her enough to die for her, apparently. (Which—that’s a door that she keeps closed, thanks. She shuts it firmly again, now.) Oscar seems fond of her, in a sweet, uncomplicated sort of way that she really doesn’t know what to do with, seeing as he shares headspace with like a trillion year old man and the idea that anything to do with that kid could be “uncomplicated” is batshit. Ren vouched for her once, and then again, and now he keeps doing it, like it’s habit, like she should just be used to the fact that people are going to have her back, to ask her if she’s eaten, to turn to her with a raised eyebrow in conversation like her opinion would be constructive.

Anyway.

Now that she’s noticed the pattern, it seems like the kind of thing she should probably… work on, or whatever. And Nora seems like an obvious place for Emerald to start. They’ve been thrown in together a lot, lately, Emerald and Oscar expected to fill in the gaps of what’s left of the old JNPR by default. Not that they’ve ever really had a conversation about it—Emerald can’t think of the last time Nora said two words to her that weren’t combat warnings like “more Grimm coming” or “on your left,” but. That’s probably just because things have been tense. She remembers Nora being friendly, on the whole of it. Off-puttingly friendly, even, back at Beacon.

How hard could it be?

The answer, it turns out, is absurdly hard. Nora’s barely ever in the temporary barracks they’re all living out of, instead always checking on the refugees, going on supply runs over esoteric requests, volunteering for extra patrols. Emerald used to find that kind of dogged do-goodery gag-inducing, but now that she’s been the helping hand herself a few times, she’s starting to see the appeal. The way people look at you when you’ve been of service, it’s—nice. Really nice. But Nora works utterly thankless jobs, the kind most people don’t even notice, let alone appreciate. And when they have their insufferably long leadership meetings and they’re talking about distribution of resources or whatever, Nora’s a fierce debater—jumping in to advocate for the people from Mantle sometimes even before May can. As far as Emerald can tell, she does this stuff just because... she believes in it. Because it’s the right thing to do, and someone has to.

She can’t imagine what it would feel like, to have the attention of someone like that turned on her. She’s craved it from the wrong people for so long, but now that she has her pick of options... she’s letting herself actually want the right kind, for once. She thinks.

Which is all to say that largely through no fault of her own, Emerald unexpectedly finds herself sitting with a profound, fervent desire for Nora Valkyrie to think she’s cool.

She hates that.

-

Fighting with Nora is easy.

(—er. Alongside. Fighting alongside Nora is easy. Emerald’s done fighting with these people. Very done.)

It’s weird, because Emerald’s finding working with a full team to be a real adjustment. When battles get big enough to merit it, she’s used to keeping to the sidelines to use her Semblance for nefarious purposes, or, in a jam, used to having Mercury’s six—literally, because all the forward momentum from his feet-first style always left his back wide open. Figuring out where to put herself so that Oscar can use her shoulder as a fulcrum as he dodges, or trying to aim for the Grimm Ren isn’t already shooting (ugh)—it’s taking work.

But somehow, it’s not work for Nora. Nora seems to anticipate with perfect ease how Emerald will move or what she’ll be doing; Nora bobs and weaves around their ragtag little band with her war hammer like it’s breathing.

It doesn’t bother Emerald until it does, and she means to bring it up casually but there’s never a good time. So it just… stews, and stews, until she can’t keep it bottled up anymore.

Which means that instead of the earnest question she intends it to be, it comes out like this:

“Okay, seriously? It’s creepy how you do that.”

It’s just the two of them, plus the handful of dweeby Atlesian tech-types they’re escorting back from their foray installing some fancy hydro-filtration modules on the outskirts of the camp. And it’s not like Emerald had felt outmatched by the half-dozen Ravagers that had decided they looked like lunch—she can shoot Ravagers in her sleep, at this point—but still. The way Nora had moved around her, it was like they’d been fighting side by side for years.

Nora just cocks her head to the side. “Do what?” she asks, like she hadn’t just basically read Emerald’s mind in front of the water nerds.

Emerald does a complicated gesture with her hands, wrist over wrist, and then flicking two fingers—trying to evoke the way Nora had flipped over Emerald’s back and then kicked off, just trusting Emerald would reel her back in with a chain in midair before a Grimm could fly away with her sorry ass. “That.”

“Oh!” Nora laughs and rubs at the back of her neck, looking sheepish. “It’s nothing. I guess it’s just not a big deal for me? Like—I was there when Ren built StormFlower. The cables are newish, but we practiced so much back in Atlas… I dunno. It’s just reflex, when your weapons are so similar. Fighting with you, it’s almost like fighting with him. I don’t even have to think about it.”

Nora swallows, then, and makes a face Emerald can’t interpret—disappointed, maybe, or ashamed. Which: good. She probably should be, taking things for granted like that.

“Well—just—” Emerald’s not even sure what she wants to say. Ask, next time? Don’t? “You shouldn’t make assumptions. I’m not your boyfriend, okay?”

The venom she puts behind the word is directed more at herself than Nora—frustrated, again, that she’s put herself in the position of wanting so desperately to be liked.

Pathetic.

Nora just nods, looking glum.

“Yeah,” she murmurs, cheeks pulling in a bitter smile. “You’d think I’d be able to keep that one straight, huh?”

She says it with such pointed irony that for a second Emerald wonders if she’d gotten it wrong somehow, but like—Nora and Ren are a thing, right? That’s—everyone knows that.

“Hey, what—?”

“Let’s just go,” Nora says, and Emerald automatically falls into line behind her.

They make the rest of the walk back in silence.

-

Sometimes at night, when she can’t sleep, Emerald likes to climb up to the roof of the barracks and look out over the refugee camp.

It’s—peaceful, is all. A good reminder of where she is; how far she’s come. The night sky in Vacuo has more stars than she’s ever seen, and being able to watch over all these people who have somehow become her responsibility… well.

A part of her will always be standing on the rooftop at Beacon, looking down on pure chaos as a queasy, frightened sensation twists in her gut and its noxious voice whispers you did this, you did this, you did this. What did you think was going to happen, you stupid little girl? You don’t get to feel sorry for it now.

But she does.

Weird how the only thing that’s helped is actually doing something about it.

She hears a scuffling noise over her shoulder, and she’s got Thief’s Respite drawn and ready before she can even really register what she’s heard. She relaxes when she sees it’s Nora at the other end of the barrels, unarmed and hands raised—a funny little smile on her face, like yeah, fair enough, I should have known better than to try and sneak up.

“Just me,” she says, unnecessarily.

Emerald holsters her guns. “Can I help you?” she asks, and—what is it about her voice, that makes sentences that would be nice if any other human said them come out straight-up hostile?

Nora shrugs, hands dropping to her sides. “I was hoping we could talk; I figured you’d come up here if I waited long enough.”

Well, see—what kind of lesson is she supposed to take from that? She’s been hoping for Nora to talk to her for weeks, and acting like a bitch is the thing that gets her what she wants? Good guys are supposed to know better.

And there’s the way she said it, too. Like everyone knows Emerald comes up here to brood; like it’s a big open secret. The knowledge sits uncomfortably in her stomach, makes her feel watched. Even now, even here, she can’t get a moment alone. Not really.

“What, so you’re spying on me now?”

Nora’s eyes narrow. “I have a pretty bad track record when it comes to losing people. Makes a girl want to put in a little hustle when it comes to keeping tabs on her friends.”

And Emerald would snark at that, or maybe apologize, or something, only—

Nora thinks they’re friends?

“Well, take a seat, I guess,” she mumbles, scooching to the side as though she needs to make room on the massive, empty roof.

Nora walks over and joins Emerald on the asphalt, letting her legs dangle over the edge. Seemingly unsure of where to start, she stares at her hands. Emerald stares too, but her eyes can’t help but wander—tracing the way scars, silvery in the moonlight, spiderweb up Nora’s bare wrists and forearms to fetter her shoulders, clavicle, neck. Like cracks in a pane of glass, right before it shatters.

(Only that’s not it at all, is it? It’s not a sign of weakness, but a warning of strength. I care this much, her scars announce to the word. You wanna try me?

Hazel’s arms always looked like that.)

Emerald doesn’t want to be the one to break the silence, sure that whatever she’d say would be incredibly stupid.

Luckily, Nora has no such qualms, and opens with: “I really admire you, you know?”

Emerald stares, jaw slack, certain she’s heard wrong. “I—what?” She’d say something defensive, like yeah right or you don’t have to make fun of me, only Nora’s eyes are so wide and so guileless they don’t leave any room for argument.

“I mean it,” Nora adds. “I know we don’t know all that much about each other, but… here’s what I do know: I can’t remember a time I saw you without Mercury right behind. Just like me’n Ren. And the way you fought for Cinder…” Nora smiles a sad, private little smile. “You don’t fight like that unless it’s personal; unless someone means something to you. Just like me’n Ren. And now you’re here. All on your own. And you didn’t have to be. That’s—don’t you think that’s crazy brave? I sure do.”

Of course she fucking doesn’t. Crazy brave would have been walking away the first, tenth, hundredth time she had a flash of panic about what she was doing. Or, better yet, doing something about it. Crazy brave is taking thirty thousand volts to get to your friends; it’s flooding your veins with pure crystalline power and saying Go, I’m doing what Gretchen would have done, it’s—

She closes that door.

“It’s not like I really had a choice,” she sighs, dodging the question.

“Oh, you know that’s not true,” Nora scoffs dismissively, tilting sideways to nudge Emerald with her shoulder.

And Emerald jolts, because—look, it’s not like no one touches her. They have to manhandle each other all the time in battle, and… and Oscar gives her high fives sometimes, which makes her embarrassingly pleased. But what Nora’s offering now, that kind of buddy-buddy casual contact…

… it’s been a while, is all.

“So, why did you want to talk to me?” Emerald asks, overwhelmed and suddenly desperate to find a way to get this conversation over with. She feels like she’s sprinted five miles; like she’s had the crap kicked out of her and she has to go somewhere to lick her wounds. Too much, too fast.

Nora laughs—a chuffing, cynical noise that doesn’t sound at all like her. “Looking for pointers? See, I’m trying this thing where I do things on my own, but I just—I suck at it. Like today; you saw. Even when I’m not with Ren, all I do is… is act exactly the same way I do when I’m with Ren. Like I literally don’t know how to exist without him, whether he’s actually there or not. And I know that’s not fair to anyone; I didn’t mean to treat you like—” She shakes her head, biting her lip. “You’re not just some stand-in. It’s not you at all. I’m just—broken, or something. One trick pony.”

“No, hey—”

“But you figured it out,” she barrels on, which is good, because Emerald doesn’t actually have a clue what she would have said there. “You don’t have anyone and somehow you’re just, like—good to go!” Nora says it cheerily, like it’s a compliment, but has the grace to balk a little when she hears how it sounds. “…sorry. That’s—sorry.”

Emerald shrugs, drawing her knees to her chest and resting her chin there. She feels like an idiot; building it up for weeks like spending time with Nora would solve all her problems when, surprise surprise, Nora’s just as fucked up as she is.

“Hate to disappoint you, but I don’t have any hot tips,” she mutters into the crooks of her elbows. “I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Like—you want to know the really sad part? I was just following your lead.”

“My…?” Nora can’t even finish repeating it, which: Emerald can’t blame her. It’s so dumb. “Huh?”

“Come on. You know.”

“I don’t,” Nora says, voice thick with exhaustion. Like she’s sick of herself. “Ask anyone—I’m not the brains of the operation.”

Hearing Nora talk about herself that way makes Emerald’s chest feel tight; like her ribs have locked in place so her lungs can’t expand. She doesn’t know how to explain it; not without sounding like a starry-eyed fangirl or a moron with a crush and that’s not what this—it’s only that—

She chooses to start a different way.

“You wanna know why I switched sides? Like, really why?”

Nora softens, and reaches out to touch the back of Emerald’s left hand, where it dangles over her knee. “Sure,” she says, but Emerald barely hears it; it’s taking all of her concentration not to clench her fist or pull away in response.

“I overheard Oscar—or, Ozpin, I guess, I don’t know—talking to Hazel about Salem, about her goals. And… listen. No one joins under Salem because they’re trying to kill the world, okay? I mean, no one but Tyrian, anyway. We were all just trying to… find ways to get by. And when Cinder found me, she—” Emerald swallows, hard. This cuts too deep, too close. It’s not something she can just say. “I wasn’t trying to be some big villain, or something. I was just—looking out for the people who were looking out for me. And why wouldn’t I? No one else ever seemed to think I was worth it.”

“Of course you are,” Nora cuts in, quiet but vehement. “Everyone is.”

“See, the worst part is that you mean that when you say it,” Emerald grumbles, scrubbing at her face until smears of color kaleidoscope behind her closed eyes. “I figured people like you didn’t exist, and then Cinder and Merc were glad to prove me right, and—I let them. You know? And maybe if I’d just held out a little longer…”

“You’re not the only one here who’s ashamed of her past. Harriet tried to blow up Mantle, like, a month ago.”

“That’s not—forget that. I’m talking about you. Nora.” It’s the first time she’s ever said her name like that—addressing her, in conversation. It feels… astonishingly intimate, for so small a thing. Emerald powers past it. “Every day, I see you do something ridiculous, like double back on a patrol because you forgot you promised some kid a candy bar, or something, and that—matters. To me. It’s so stupid, but it’s not, because… argh! I want—it’s—” She tries to get her mouth to form the words, that’s the kind of person I want to be, but they stop in her throat.

Still, Nora seems to get the message. Her eyes seem suspiciously shiny for a moment—but when she blinks, it’s gone. “I… thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Emerald grumbles. Saying it like she means it: seriously. Don’t mention it.

“I understand what you mean, though. For years, the only person who looked out for me was Ren. And if he’d said…” Nora trails off, then, cocking her head to the side as she works through something. “Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing, just. I remembered something. I was about to say that if Ren told me the only way for us to get by was a life of crime, or something, I would’ve taken his word for it, but—the opposite happened. We decided to enroll at Beacon. And that wasn’t his idea; it was mine. I always wanted to be a Huntress. To… to be the one strong enough to help people, instead of always needing the help. He wasn’t sure if we would make it, but I was. We were together, right? How could we lose?” She chuckles, a little, shaking her head at herself. “Get a load of that. He followed me.”

They smile at each other, then. Like they’ve figured out something profound. Maybe Nora has; Emerald hopes so.

“I’m glad you’re here, Emerald,” Nora says, and—there it is again. The frisson of electricity that comes with being referred to by name.

Of course, then Emerald ruins it by blurting out:

“Of course you are, all your other friends are dead.”

Which—“Fuck!” she sputters, because she didn’t mean to say that. What is wrong with her? “Sorry! Sorry.”

Nora only grins at her, feral and incisive. “Yeah, well. Yours are evil, so. Pick your poison. At least I’m proud of mine.”

Touché.

“Still glad I’m here?” Emerald jeers, because her first instinct is still to press on the bruise to see how much it hurts.

Nora laughs, and gets to her feet. “Believe it or not, yes. If putting your foot in your mouth was all it took to get booted from Hero Club, I’d have been kicked out a long time ago.” She reaches down to offer Emerald a hand; Emerald takes it, letting Nora pull her to standing. “Now go and get some rest, huh? None of us can ever sleep when you’re up here thinking so loud.”

“That an order?”

“Advice. Friends give it, from time to time.”

And—yeah. Maybe they do.