#the fact that they didn't even get a goodbye
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Truth be told | Jeno
Jeno x Reader
Genre: fluff, a tiny angst 🤏🏻
Word count: 1762
Warnings: a terrible roommate
Note: Well hello guess who's back 🤗 if y'all are wondering if this is based on real facts, yes it is 😃
Summary: Jeno knows how to make you forget about the outside world.
⪢ NCT Masterlist
"Oh crap.” Y/N stopped halfway up the stairs, looking irritably at her bag. She was constantly moving her hand around in search of something, which made Jeno stop behind her and look at her curiously. “I forgot my eye drops.”
“You can get it, I’ll wait here.” He said as she turned to look at him guiltily.
It was very cold that night and they were late for Chenle’s birthday party.
But well, Jeno and she hadn’t seen each other in so long and finally that day her roommate was far enough away for them to enjoy their time together. And completely forget about the outside world and their commitments.
It wasn’t on purpose.
“We’re really late.” She reminded him, the strong wind blowing against her body, making her squint her irritated eyes because of her contact lenses.
“And I’m not going to let you have an itchy eye later because of Chenle. What’s two more minutes?” He asked, smiling slightly at her, who just nodded. “Let him wait.”
They were already half an hour late.
Y/N wanted to bite her boyfriend’s cheeks, he was particularly irresistible that night with his turtleneck and black jacket.
She loved that man so much, anyone who passed by could clearly see it in her eyes.
“I won’t be long.” She warned before climbing the steps again and stopping to rest her hand on his shoulder and place a quick kiss on his lips.
Jeno was tempted to pull her by the waist for two reasons: he wanted to get rid of the cold of that night with the heat of her body and because Y/N’s lips tasted like strawberry yogurt.
But he didn’t do it or else they would really irritate his friend.
She almost gave up on going out when she ran back to her warm apartment. Who had decided to go out in that winter?
In a hurry, Y/N barely remembered where she had left her eye drops, whether inside the toiletry bag she took to work or in the middle of her bed, so she searched in both places and found the bed, which was a mess since Jeno had decided to tickle her earlier and they rolled around in bed laughing.
She sighed as she remembered the scene but didn't get lost in the memories since he was waiting for her outside.
Unfortunately, not alone like she had left two minutes ago.
Her roommate was standing too close to Jeno who was on the same step with his hand in his jacket pocket, Y/N took a deep breath, completely ignoring that little piece of her mind that warned her of a certain danger.
"Sorry for the delay, I didn't remember where I left it." She caught their attention as soon as she approached.
Jeno took his hand out of his pocket to grab Y/N's waist and bring her closer, causing her roommate to take two steps back and change her expression.
From a feline ready to pounce on a scared kitten.
Jeno rolled his eyes discreetly when the girl looked at Y/N.
“Are you going out, Y/N?” the girl asked and Jeno looked up at the dark sky while biting his tongue.
He wanted to give her an answer that wasn’t even remotely polite.
“Yes, to celebrate a friend’s birthday.” Y/N explained with a smile and her roommate looked at the two of them with a pleading expression.
If she questioned something one more time, Jeno would…
“What were you looking for?”
…Curse her until the next generation.
He wanted to yell the word condom to embarrass the girl, but he wouldn’t be rude to his girlfriend.
It wasn’t worth it anyway.
“Shall we go?” Jeno interrupted the not-so-unexpected interrogation and Y/N nodded, remembering the time.
“Yes, please. Bye.” She said goodbye to her roommate and they started down the stairs.
“Bye. Bye Jeno.” the girl said and he just swallowed hard and nodded while keeping Y/N by his side.
There were few people who could get on his nerves, but his girlfriend’s roommate was about to join that list.
She wasn’t just loose, she was invasive, indiscreet and unnecessary. She wasn’t the least bit pleasant to be around.
And when Y/N wasn’t in the same room, she made a point of getting closer than she should to Jeno and laughing like a hyena, besides blinking more than usual and trying to look sweet like Y/N but always failing because Jeno saw her real intentions behind that good girl act.
She was a snake ready to strike.
He never complained directly to Y/N for two reasons: he knew how to cut off any kind of flirting and because he didn’t want to make his girlfriend insecure, much less worried.
He would never leave her to be with a girl so low who didn't care if he was the boyfriend of someone she called her "friend", he knew it wasn't a true friendship on her part.
Y/N had much more serious problems than worrying about her boring roommate.
But it was clear that this was bothering him more than usual, of course it would be the girl had practically thrown herself at him on the stairs complimenting him and the perfume he wore, she had even tried to caress his hand that was on the railing, so he took it away.
And the stiffness in his shoulders and the clenched jaw didn't go unnoticed by Y/N who stared at him attentively until he drove away from her street.
When Jeno took a deep breath for the third time in less than five minutes, she knew something was wrong.
“What is it?” she asked sweetly. “Something happened.”
“What? No.” He glanced at her, a little surprised.
“It wasn’t a question, Jeno.” She replied a little more firmly and crossed her arms. “I know you. More than I know myself.”
He pondered. He didn’t want to have that conversation now when they were so happy but there was no way to escape.
What could happen the next time he had the unfortunate coincidence of meeting that annoying girl?
He could imagine exactly the scene she would create. He had to protect Y/N from that.
“I hate your roommate.” he replied, breathing through his nostrils. “She questions you about everything, acts like you’re obligated to give her explanations and take her anywhere with you.”
Y/N blinked several times, she had never heard Jeno speak in that serious tone.
He wasn’t like that with anyone.
“What did she do?” Silence. “Jeno.”
He took another deep breath and parked the car so he could look at her. Only then would she see the truth in his eyes.
“It’s not the first time she’s made indirect comments to me behind your back, I always cut her off, but today… She managed to irritate me.”
“Indirect?” Y/N questioned. She needed to hear that.
“She flirts with me, Y/N. All the time when you’re not around and when you are she has that sly expression, saying how lonely she feels.”
Y/N held her breath.
Okay, her roommate wasn’t the best company in the world. Several times she was tired from work eating and the girl would knock on Y/N's bedroom door to talk about nothing important when all she wanted to do was stay in silence.
Besides that apparently she wasn't a fan of headphones and even knowing that Y/N worked at dawn, she would listen to music loudly while Y/N was sleeping.
And there was also the fact that she wanted to go to Y/N's family's house every time she went once a month, she didn't even have time to talk to her parents because her roommate had to talk about how difficult her life was.
But hitting on her boyfriend? It was a bit too much.
"That's why you're avoiding going to my home when she's there." she concluded and saw Jeno nod. "What did she say today?"
"Babe, you don't..."
"If you don't tell me, I'll get out of this car, walk home and make her talk." she warned firmly and Jeno knew she was brave enough to do that.
“She said I smelled too good to be alone outside and that if I wanted company, we could come in. Then she tried to caress my hand.” Jeno felt his stomach churn with disgust and his heart sink when he saw his girlfriend change her expression.
She was angry and clenched her hands into fists so tightly that her fingertips turned white.
“That bitch!” Y/N shouted, panting. “It’s okay for her to take my clothes, even my food, but she also wants my family and now my boyfriend? Oh but she’s going to listen to me because I’m going to talk…”
She made a move to get out of the car, but Jeno stopped her, holding her by the face and making her look him straight in the eyes.
“You don’t need to waste your time with that girl, that’s what she wants, to create problems between you and me.”
“She’s flirting with you. Behind my back!” she said indignantly.
“And truth be told, she has no chance with me because I love you!” Jeno spoke a little louder and Y/N stopped, feeling her eyes water.
It wasn't the first time she heard those three little words from Jeno, but every time she heard them it was like it was the first time because he always spoke with the same sincerity and desire.
"Do you think saying that will calm me down?" It was obvious that it would.
Jeno smiled widely and rested his nose on her cheek, seeing her instantly give in.
"Maybe it won't." He blew against her skin and she slowly closed her eyes. "But this will."
Jeno didn't wait another second to taste his girlfriend's sweet lips again, in a quick and voracious kiss, making her sigh against his lips.
She felt so safe being in his arms that she didn't even remember the anger she felt seconds ago.
The power he had over her with just one kiss was incredible.
That only didn't last longer because Jeno's phone started ringing loudly.
Y/N laughed when she saw Jeno's red lips were stained with the lip gloss she was wearing as he looked on reluctantly to stop kissing her.
He took his phone out of his pocket.
"Damn, it's Chenle."
They had even forgotten about him.
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Chapter 6: Serendipidy
Bewitched Masterlist
Summary: They meet after 7 years. But they swear that everything is Serendipidy
Words: 2.1k
Warning: Constantly changes of POV's
N/A: I'm trying to find ways to get through the end of Arcane. Expect continuous updates.💕
Serendipidy: the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for.
Since Violet left Stillwater there has been a strange feeling in her chest. A feeling she can't put a name to.
She walks beside the enforcer, Caitlyn, for a while before she starts running and jumping across the rooftops of the place where she grew up. It's at that moment that she feels that tug in her chest again, and that's when it hits her. She's excited, but at the same time she feels terribly desolate and anxious. She feels sad and melancholy.
She passes by streets she used to frequent and realizes how much things have changed. Stalls that used to be there in her childhood are now closed or new stores take their place. She feels like she doesn't recognize anything even though she knows where she is.
She feels like a stranger in her own home.
🦋
The day Vi returned to the Lanes you can sense that something is going on. But you don't know what.
It's like a tingling in the back of your neck, a dull sound throbbing in your ears. But you don't think much of it, you have better things to worry about than this.
So you keep busy, as usual. You stop by the kitchen as you do every morning to help make breakfast for everyone, you stand there for a while and chat with people as they arrive, and when you see Ekko arrive with Scar you join them to sit down for breakfast at one of the tables while they coordinate for the day's activities.
"I'm going to make rounds today to oversee how everything is going after the raid on the ship last week" Ekko commented as he ate, looking at the two of you one at a time. He paused for a moment at you, noticing that you seemed distracted, you hadn't touched your food much, that tingle still nagging at the back of your neck, making your stomach churn "You come with me?"
You shake your head sideways, not turning to look at him, you didn't dare "Nope, I have things to check and reorganize in the warehouse. My next monitoring season out of the tree is coming up, so I have to know how much I have to earn and bring when I get back" you decide to take a bite of your food after a moment, you're not very hungry, but you won't waste that food "Besides, I promised Elma I'd help her with the new portraits on the mural".
After a while the three of you say goodbye and part ways, each going to their respective places.
But as you make your way to the mural you realize something. You almost didn't see it, almost stepped on it, in fact. But that tingle made you look at just the right moment. A four-leaf clover.
You stared at it for a few seconds, remembering when you used to look for them with Powder, a healthy competition between sisters. You almost always found them, but you always gave them to Powder "So Mylo can't tell you that you're unlucky" you used to tell her. That's why Vi sometimes teased you by call you that you were her good luck charm. But you didn't get too carried away with that memory, so you shook your head and kept walking.
🦋
After a few laps around undercity and stopping to eat and get information at Jericho's she headed with the grumpy enforcer to the brothel. There Babette filled her in on the current situation on the Lanes and offered her information on where she could find Sevika.
Vi thanked and hesitated for a moment, wrung her hands against each other nervously. She didn't need to ask, Babette was going to tell her anyway.
"She's fine," Babette tells her in a soft tone, fearing that if she spoke too loudly it might make Vi snap.
"What?" Babette responded with your name softly, watching as the girl in front of her took a shaky breath before daring to ask more. "Do you know anything about her, do you know where I can find her?" The woman could only shake her head.
"She stops here from time to time to drop off some things for me to defend the girls and the business. She told me she's coming next week. I don't know where she lives, but I know you're not going to find her on the streets of Zaun" And though Babette was tempted to tell her that there were a few years you worked for her, she knew that was not for her to tell her. That was your decision.
Violet, now more hopeful than before, thanks Babette and gets up from the couch to walk to the person who will lead her to the person who should provide her with the information she needs.
Out of the corner of her eye she sees some lucky dimes. And only then she decide to believe that it will bring her luck. Because remember that for you this kind of thing has always been important.
Maybe it will help her get to you.
🦋
That tingling keeps going throughout the morning and early afternoon. You scratch a couple of times and start to think you might get sick.
You hope you're wrong.
Although you have to admit that painting helps. It makes your head go quiet for a while. It also helps with that incessant tingling and anxious feeling.
Ekko stops by to say goodbye before leaving the lair. You wish him luck and give him a hug, and before he can take two steps towards the exit you stop him, remembering the clover you saw that morning. You run over to the spot and grab it from the floor before returning to your brother, tucking it into his jacket pocket.
"I know you don't need it, but it never hurts" Ekko shakes his head, a smile on his lips as he says goodbye to you again, this time for real.
Something tells you it's going to be an interesting afternoon.
🦋
At that moment, as she bleeds out, Violet sees you again in her hallucinations. She sees you playing with her sister and wandering around what was once her home.
She still remembers the time she brought you here. She remembers telling you about what her life was like then as she held your hand tightly, keeping from crying and how you held her and hugged her when she eventually broke down. She remembers your warmth and the gentleness and softness with which you held her.
God, she wishes you were there to hold her hand at that moment. She misses you so much
🦋
Ekko expected almost anything after spending 7 years on this.
Nothing could have prepared him for meeting a friend he thought was dead. The same one who found herself with an executioner and Jinx.
Nothing good could be happening, but he decided to give her a chance. He owed it to her and to himself.
But most of all to his sister.
So he puts bags over Vi and the enforcer's heads and leads them to the firelights' lair. He is grateful that you are not in sight, imagine you're still checking things out in the hold.
His companions take them to a secluded room while he takes a moment to breathe. He wants to tell you so badly... But he doesn't want to get your hopes up if Vi has decided on a different side. So he keeps silent. Soon one of his companions lets him know that they've both woken up, so he gives the go-ahead. He takes a big breath of air and lets it out slowly, just as you have taught him since he was a child. He puts his mask back on as he hears footsteps approaching.
On your side things weren't much better. Since a few minutes ago that tingling had become more intense, it had been there for so long that it was almost starting to overstimulate you.
You tried to breathe as you normally did, but nothing seemed to want to calm that sensation. Something was happening, or so your body wanted you to believe. You hate anxiety with all your heart.
So you resort to what has served you best all these years. Busyness. You go through and count supply by supply, item by item and put them on lists. You give instructions and ask question after question. You rearrange and rearrange, you do everything you can so that eventually your anxiety will subside and leave you alone. But your frustration only gets bigger and bigger when you realize it's still there, haunting you.
Meanwhile Ekko was talking to Vi, who after having ironed out the kinks and doled out some affection had worked up enough courage to ask about you.
"I knew you'd ask that" he replies looking at her with a smirk. So he opens the door and waits for her to adjust to the light. He tells her a bit about how you both found this place. Though of course he leaves out a few things (only because he knows it's up to you whether you want her to know or not). He shows her a few things as they walk, keeping up a light conversation as they go along.
And Violet can't pretend she's not anxious. Her hands clasp against each other every so often. Her smile trembles a little and her eyes move to everything and nothing. A warm feeling stirring in her chest.
And the butterflies. The ones she thought were already dead because they hadn't fluttered for so long, start fluttering all over her system, making her feel like she's 15 again. Reminding her of all the times she went looking for you at Benzo's to confess how she's loved you from the start, only to take a step back. Every time.
But not this time.
Finally Ekko stops in front of a thick metal door. He lets out a sigh before looking at it. "It may be a bit difficult. I ask you to be patient."
Vi nods slowly, feeling even more nervous. Ekko reaches into his pocket and pulls out the clover you gave him that morning, handing it to Vi. "A little luck never hurts, don't you think?"
Vi doesn't need to ask. She knows you found it, you've always had a knack for that. Then, slowly but surely, Ekko opens the metal door, lets the girl in, then goes in himself and closes it.
He greets a couple of people and gestures for them to come out. Violet's eyes move from side to side, looking for you.
You, on the other hand, don't hear the door open, too busy organizing. You move from side to side, unable to stand still. What you do feel is that the tingling suddenly runs through your whole body before it stops. You crouch for a moment between the boxes, feeling relief for the first time that day.
Ekko pulls out a last couple of people while Vi stands paralyzed, only one person is left at the end of the room, among some boxes and stacked objects. She almost doesn't notice you there, crouching down, massaging your neck. She only catches a glimpse of your hair, as messy as she remembers it. But maybe a little longer.
"Everything okay over there Sunny?" Vi can feel the air attacking in her throat as she hears the sound of your tired laughter.
"Kinda tired, but I'm better" you reply in a tired voice as you stand up and stretch your body. Vi can feel her heart racing as her eyes begin to sting.
A sob threatens to come from her throat, but Violet forces herself to keep her mouth shut. Her hands clench into fists as she watches you turn toward them.
"Remember that discomfort I told you I had in the morning? A while ago it stopped and-" you quickly shut your mouth when you see a pink-haired girl crying in front of you. Your heart races as you see the strong resemblance, but you don't allow yourself to hope. "Ekko... What's-?"
Vi makes a crooked smile "Hey Sunshine" she manages to whisper with a broken voice.
Your eyes start to sting. No one here calls you like that. Everyone knows you by your first name or as Sunny (this last one is only with Ekko and some friends). You never let anyone else call you Sunshine. You couldn't stand it. So when you heard it...
"Violet?"
Your suspicions come true.
Vi lets out a small laugh combined with a sob, nodding as she walks towards you.
You bring your hands to your mouth as a loud sob escapes your lips, shaking your head. "No... You're not... You can't..."
Vi quickly finishes reaching up to you and holds you against her. A firm but delicate grip. You too wrap your arms around her clinging to her jacket. The crying from both of you getting louder.
"I missed you so much" Vi manages to utter between sobs. You, on the other hand, feel unable to speak, so you just nod into the hollow of her neck.
Time seems to stand still when you both finally hold each other in your arms.
Four-leaf clovers, lucky dimes and cosmic coincidences.
But they swear it's a coincidence.
The best coincidence of their lives. Finding each other again.
#vi arcane#vi from arcane#arcane#lesbian vi#vi x reader#wlw fanfic#arcane show#vi fanfic#vi#fluff#vi x reader fluff#vi x oc#vi x you#bewitched#lgbtq#wlw#wlw post
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𝓢𝓾𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓼 𝓗𝓲𝓰𝓱 | 𝓩𝓪𝔂𝓷𝓮 𝔁 𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻
𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: 𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘈𝘴𝘬𝘰 𝘏𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘸𝘦𝘦��𝘴. 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘡𝘢𝘺𝘯𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦.
𝘛𝘢𝘨𝘴: Oral Sex, Established Realationship, Fluff, Breeding Kink, Vaginal Sex, Crempie, Praise, My love.
Artist: Please help me find the artist
“Yvonne.. Tell me how much longer my shift is.” She chuckles slightly at my child like whine.
“You’re like this because Dr. Zayne has been in surgery all day.” She retorts. If she didn't have a mask on I could see her big grin. Her eyes shut slightly when she smiles like that.
“Okay you don’t have to call me out like that.” I snort.
She’s right though. I get moody when Zayne is busy, it gets so boring sometimes transporting patients to different areas of the hospital. For the past few weeks I’ve been working at Asko Hospital. The decrease in wanderer activity caused me to look for a part-time job. Zayne offered to help me with my expenses but I refused, so as a solution he was able to find me a job here. Of course I was mortified and refused again, but when no other job was calling I ended up taking him up on the offer. For three days out of the week I’m transporting patients to different areas of the hospital. Who knew this was an actual thing that people get paid to do. It’s not a hard job, however it gets so boring having to wait for an assignment. On the bright side, wearing scrubs is so comfy.
“Dr. Zayne should be getting out soon from his surgery in 15 minutes, if all went well. You can transport his patient to the ICU once closing is done.” Yvonne winks at me, still keeping that same big grin. I can’t help my face turning bright red, she lets out a big laugh causing the nurses station to grow silent. We both can’t help but giggle at the awkward stares from our peers.
“Operating room five?” I say staring at the OR board, “I’m getting kinda good at reading medical lingo.”
‘‘Mhmm.” Yvonne mutters, as she hands me the patient pickup report. “Don’t get lost again.” She says as I’m heading away. Once again she calls me out, I can’t help but to get flustered all over again. There is a hard fact about me working here, I get lost all the time.
It’s been longer than 15 minutes, I made it everywhere but OR five. How did I even manage to make it to the morgue? This is going to be my second write up for patient tardiness. Another one and I’m kissing this job goodbye. I punch the elevator button rapidly so it can open. My stomach is in knots, the overwhelming anxiety is causing me to sweat. I’m a hunter for crying out loud. I can read a map, but I can’t understand the hospital layout. Ridiculous. Consumed by my thoughts, I rush into the elevator as soon as it opens. A loud HUMPH is heard as I collide into a body.
Oh shit. I know this cologne.
“Lost again are we?” His sarcastic tone makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I can’t bring myself to look up at him. I know he has that stupid smirk on his face.
Zayne chuckles. As I try to back away to create some space between us, he takes his hand and holds my waist all while resting his chin on my head.
“I got lost trying to find OR five.” I mutter in his chest. Having Zayne so close to me and feeling his hand on my waist makes my already knotted stomach do back flips.
“Hmmm. Ms. Hunter, it seems as If I need to show you the hospital again.” He starts swaying us softly side to side, as if we were dancing. The elevator doors close and we start to ascend.
“Did the surgery go well?” I whisper trying not to ruin our moment.
“As expected, the patient will make full recovery.” He lifts his head up, still looking down into his chest. I take my arms and wrap them around him. If I could, I would freeze us in this movement forever. All of my worries, all of my doubts fade when I’m with him like this. His calmness soothes me in ways I can’t explain. I am truly in love with him.
He places his free hand under my chin, cupping it softly causing me to lift my head and meet his gaze. Before I can even react, he leans in and kisses me. His soft lips collide into mine. Slow and sweet, I kiss him back. But the knot that was in my stomach turns into a fire, a hunger for his touch and skin. As the anxiety leaves my body, my hands find their way to his hair, I tug on it slightly causing a small whimper escape his lips. I stand on my tippy toes and make our kiss more passionate, sliding my tongue in his mouth. His hands move from their previous positions and without hesitation he lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, his hands hold my ass for support. There is no struggle from Zayne, he lifts me up and pushes my back against the wall with ease. We break away from our kiss and gasp for air, looking into his eyes again I see his hunger and wanting. The feeling in my pants makes me bite on my lip, his lips curiver in response. A small smirk appears on his face as he catches his breath.
“Naughty girl.” He pants.
“Teach me a lesson.” I smirk
The elevator doors open, and my heart stops working. We quickly let go of each other creating some sort of distance. Zayne shuffles his hair and clears his throat, however there is no hiding the bulge in his scrub pants. Oh how I know he wishes he had his lab coat on. I quickly adjusted my scrub top and hair. Looking at the floor number and realizing we are at the main lobby, Zayne gives a friendly nod at the elderly couple who just walked in, and quickly exits out of the elevator.
“My office after your shift, we need to discuss our conversation further.” He says as before the doors close.
Zayne the man that you are.
The couple gives me a sassy smile and my face grows red. The awkward tension in the room almost makes me throw up. The next stop, I quickly exit the elevator. Now to find the nurses station.
After receiving my second write up, I glance at the clock and see it’s time for me to leave. Midnight. Remembering Zayne’s words I make my way to his office. Knowing that route like the back of my hand, my thoughts take me to the moment in the elevator. The way his eyes looked, like he was going to lose control. His hands on my ass gripping me tightly, the way my cunt was burning for him. He was so confident, so ready to devour me. Surgeons high. I’ve heard of the nurses talking about it before, it’s when after performing a risky surgery the doctor feels a sense of adrenaline and a boost to their ego causes the blood to flow. The thought of cool, calm, collected Zayne disappeared to the man in the elevator.
When I arrive at his office door, I hesitate before knocking. What are you feeling now, Zayne? Pushing my anxiety aside, I place two knocks before I hear his voice telling me to enter. He is sitting at his desk, still wearing his dark navy blue scrubs, the lab coat is hanging perfectly on the coat rack. In the dim office the moonlight illuminates his soft face. He's on the computer typing away.
“Lock it.” He demands, not taking his eyes off the screen. The directness causes me to react instantly. Oh so it’s going to be like that … fine. Let's play Dr. Zayne.
I make my way to his desk and perfectly sit on the corner, crossing my legs like a perfect school girl. He is still typing, not looking away from the screen.
“Finishing the report ?” I glance over.
He closes the computer quickly and rotates his chair to face me, leaning back as he stares me down. His eyes scan my body, there is a hint of lust but they mostly scream admiration.
“Have I ever told you how great you look in scrubs?” he smirks. My dark violet scrubs look almost black with this lighting. I chuckle at his comment.
“They are rather nice but I do miss my hunter uniform.” We both smile.
He scoots his chair in front of me.
“I like you more without clothes.” His low raspy whisper catches me off guard, he takes his hands and parts my legs open. The unexpected move catches me off guard and I jump at his touch. His eyes look at me again, asking for permission. Do your worst. I nodded at his permission.
“Lay down.” He demands as his hands proceeds to take off my scrub pants and panties. I kick my shoes off quickly.
“Close your eyes and don’t make a sound, my love.” His tongue takes no time in finding my clit, rubbing sweet circles around it. Unable to control my movements, my legs close in on his face, I quickly cover my mouth with my hands and thankfully so because his tongue is doing wonders. With each flick and rub, my body trembles sending shockwaves. He goes faster with each squirm. Putting my legs over his shoulders, he grips onto my thighs making me unable to leave. I feel myself coming close to climax.
“Z-Z-Zayne I-I-I’m g-gonna cum.” I moan as quietly as possible. His tongue movements become faster. I bite the inside of my cheeks, in a few seconds my back arches at the feeling of release. Moaning quietly but wanting to scream is torture. He slows down and my muscles relax. I’m gasping for breath, flustered and hot. He gets up from his seat, locking eyes with me once more. His ears are red and he licks his lips.
“You taste sweet.” We chuckle
“I want you please.” I beg him. His eyes darken again and no second is wasted. He lowers his scrub pants a bit, taking my legs over his shoulders; he teases me with his cock. Rubbing the tip up and down my throbbing cunt. Zayne please my eyes beg him.
With no warning he shoves his dick deep into my pussy hitting my cervix, giving me no time to adjust to his big dick. I don’t contain my moan and he quickly covers my mouth.
“Fuck you’re tight.” He whispers almost enough so I don’t hear him. I can’t help but to smile at the sound of him cursing. He notices my smile and starters thrusting faster and harder, the desk moves slightly. “Turn around.” he demands. Obeying his order, I lower my legs and 180 spin onto my stomach, all while Zayne is still inside me. With my feet planted onto the ground for support, he grabs onto my waist and starts to pound me.
Low moans from the both of us fill the room. His thrusting is fast and deep, causing my legs to shake with each clap. A few tears fall from my eyes, I want to scream, to moan his name loudly but I restrain myself. I know he’s trying hard as well, sometimes a small grunt escapes but he followers it with a thrust. He thrust so hard that it causes the things on his desk to fall over, the neat and tidy office soon turns into a mess with papers and pens on the ground. A loud bang is heard when a metal cup falls and hits the floor.
A knock on the door causes my heart to drop. Zayne doesn't stop.
“Dr. Zayne, are you alright in there?” A muffled voice is heard from the other side.
“Yes (grunt) Dr. Greyson I (huff) just dropped a few things.” I’m biting my lip so hard it bleeds a little bit. Zayne pulls me closer, putting his hand over my mouth. I moan a little at the feeling of his cock shifting.
“I finished the report sir, shall I come in and bring it to you.” The door handle shakes a bit but with no success of opening it stops.
Zayne leans in and whispers in my ear “Let me cum inside you.” I shake my head yes, closing my eyes.
“Slide it under the door, I’m changing.” With no questions the folder slides in perfectly.
“You’re a good girl.” He purrs resting his head on mine. With that Zayn’s hot cum fills my insides. My legs shake at my release as well. We both pant heavily like feral dogs trying to catch a breath. His dick twitches inside of me, making sure I take all of his fill. Fuck. Zayne hugs me tightly from behind. I feel his chest rise up and down quickly. He places a kiss on the back of my head. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I say trying to hold myself up, but my legs are so shaky that I turn into mush in his arms. He holds my weight making sure I don’t fall on the floor. Gently he takes me to his office chair and sits me on it slowly. Small drops of sweat trickle down from his face, he is still gorgeous though. A gorgeous, hot and sweaty mess. My mess.
“I wasn’t too rough was I?” His eyes show concern and remorse as he wipes the tears from my eyes cupping my cheek in the process.
“No, absolutely not.” I hold his hand with mine, smiling softly. “I need to start making my way over here after your surgeries if this is what your high makes you do.”
He laughs, his sweet velvet laugh is music to my ears. It’s so rare to hear. Once again I freeze this moment into my brain. The rarity of hearing his laugh, his green eyes glowing in the moonlight, his hand on my cheek. I make sure to lock it so it can never leave my memories.
“My high?” he questions, still slightly chickling in the process.
“You know .. the high that every surgeon gets after succeeding a risky operation.” I tease.
“My love, I never thought I would say this but I miss you fighting wanderers. The hospital lingo is catching up to you.” He smiles.
“Expect the layout apparently.” I huff.
He shakes his head slightly before placing a soft kiss on my lips. “Let's go home.”
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Right, I have time to sit down and really digest what happened yesterday so here goes. This is mainly going to be about Caitvi but will contain others.
Be warned if you haven't watched it!
So firstly what a fucking ride.
The animation, the story and what they have done is absolutely incredible and have set the bench mark for future studios because my tiny brain is blown.
But diving into the things that I thought could have been better, like a lot of people have said, the pacing seemed off when they nailed it in S1. And yes I did wait until everything was released to share my thoughts. We probably got even more Caitvi content than S1, but with everything going on everywhere and it being a faster paced in regards to action, It did seem like the relationship from S1 to the end was just a bit off. Not saying it wasn't incredible, it was, but I think there were things that didn't add to the story much which could have been replaced with other character progression.
Having said that, I watched all of S1 all in one go when it came out, and I think that if we did the same with S2 and one straight after the other, I don't think we would be necessarily seeing it as much. Just my thoughts.
We didn't get an Caitlyn apology only an acknowledgement apart from when she was speaking to Jinx and an angry Vi separately. We could argue that the way she spoke to Vi before the spice was her was of apologising but I don't know I really would have liked a better explanation.
I did love the two sides of one coin but not the fact that you can't have a universe where both sisters live. That broke my heart but understand it. I also do think Jinx survived, and got out the vents and went off in the blimp at the end. I think Cait knew too, being her smart self but knew that Vi would go after her if she knew. That was a sweet scene at the end - even though not a fan of pirate Cait as I said in a previous post. I hope if they do something in the future she has like a fake eye or something I would prefer that over a patch.
Now moving onto the SEX SCENE....
Holy fucking shit. I don't know what I expected but it wasn't that. The animation, the fucking intimacy the likes I have never seen, it was perfect. I do think the setting was a bit weird but when you have all the pent up frustrations and lets be honest they are dramatic lesbians, Its going to happen. I would have liked to have seen it maybe in Cait's bed if anywhere but the urgency mixed with gentleness and all the little micro actions.
The PULL IN AFTER THE UNDOING OF THE BUCKLE.
I can't. Like I am speechless.
It was everything I hoped from a first time, from the giggles to everything else and just every tiny action jesus these animators are something else. I am not ashamed for Netflix to watch the algorithm and see I have watched that same 2 minutes for about 9 hours straight.
It has broken boundaries, not just for queer representation, the fact that neither of them died and got a happy ending in something like Arcane is remarkable, but in regards to animation of a sex scene a lesbian one at that, I think the benchmark has now been set and it will be known as this generations' Korrasami. This is will go down in history and I am not even being dramatic.
Anyway that was more of a ramble than an in depth post, and I have no idea what to do with myself now. We have AO3 and fanart and I guess we will have a bit more content until the end of the month with promotion but I guess when you have a hyperfixation you aren't ready to say goodbye. So I raised a glass to all the content creators who are now going to carry on the mantle. I will be reading and liking everything I can, I salute you.
To summarise, the series could have been better IMO but thats what happens when expectations are so high, there was none of that in series 1 and it was perfect in my eyes. You can't please everyone, but I think Arcane as an overall package is wonderful and Caitvi will live on in my heart and others which have created a benchmark for queer content and I am so proud of everyone involved.
And to all the fellow queers out there...
We did it, we won.
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Okay I waited to get this out there because I didn't want to be a bummer the second it released, but. The story in Shadow Generations was... kind of nothing. Which sucks, because it had literally everything going for it.
Shadow gets plunged into a white space where people and places from different points in time are unceremoniously dropped in due to the power of the Time Eater, and that means Black Doom is here to try to manipulate Shadow again. Shadow starts developing alien mutations that mess with his sense of identity and only make Black Doom stronger, but he's determined to use them to take him out for good.
At the same time, Maria and Gerald Robotnik are here, and of course the first thought on Shadow's mind when he discovers them is how he can find a way to save them from their original fates. So he's got two goals: defeat Black Doom, and save his family.
This setup is really good. It's immediately engaging for all sorts of reasons, from the surface-level "whoa cool alien powers!!" to the heartbreaking implications of Shadow being forced to say goodbye to Maria and Gerald again. (Because naturally, we've seen where the games go from here and we know the timeline isn't changed that drastically.)
And it's clear to see that the people involved in working on this game were passionate about it, too. The animation and cinematography is quite good, and while I have my critiques (I still don't think the character models are that great), so much effort was put into making Shadow the coolest guy ever, and I think it paid off. He's both very cool and shows a wider range of emotions than we've seen from him in a while, which is always a plus for me.
I mean, goodness knows that Shadow needed his character to be revisited and given respect after, what, over ten years? The step up that this is can't be overstated.
And yet.
The story itself is so empty.
Let's go in order:
The game opens with a narrated recap of Shadow's basic history in order to catch people up. I can't say it doesn't technically serve its purpose, but given the fact that the premise of the game is exploring Shadow's past, it's a little weird to spell it out at the start like this. If you're a newcomer to the series and don't know much about Shadow, wouldn't it be cooler to find this stuff out by progressing in the game?
It also leaves out crucial details that, while they could arguably bloat the scene, provide a lot of relevant context that a first-time viewer isn't privy to.
"At the last moment, Shadow remembered Maria's final wish... to protect her beloved planet and all who lived there."
The last moment of... what, exactly? What made him remember, what made him forget in the first place?
In order, these are the answers the scene doesn't give you:
The last moments before the ARK crashed into the Earth, which would've caused catastrophic damage.
Amy was the one who pleaded with Shadow to give everyone a chance, which echoed what Maria told him, triggering the full memory.
It's actually unclear if Shadow forgot what Maria said as a natural trauma response or because Gerald messed with his memories on purpose, but this would have been a great opportunity to clarify.
It also leaves out the fact that Shadow teamed up with Sonic to save the world after he tried to destroy it, so that's two connections with other characters he has that are completely left out in the recap. I know we're finally getting back to showcasing Rouge and Omega as his best friends, but he does hold respect for Sonic and Amy, too. Plus, his interactions with them in SA2 were so iconic, why leave them out?
Then again, I suppose Rouge and Omega aren't in this recap either... which is really weird, the more I think about it.
But even as it's describing the moment he chooses to be a hero, they don't show him in his super form alongside Sonic, he's just... what, on fire?? I don't know what that's supposed to be depicting, it just looks cool.
"Shadow didn't understand why Black Doom expected him to be the vanguard for his invasion of Earth."
A fine start, but shouldn't we have gotten a passing mention of Shadow's amnesia somewhere in here? He spent two whole games trying to remember who he was, and Black Doom's whole tactic was to exploit his desire for answers. That's important characterization for both Shadow and Black Doom that we're missing out on, here.
"Shadow the Hedgehog. The lone, dark warrior who judges the world by his own code."
This is maybe best addressed in a separate post, but. does anyone else find this description of Shadow kinda odd? "Lone warrior" I get, even with his friends he's not big on groups, but it's everything else.
Yeah, he judges the world by his own code, I guess, but his actions are all in service of following Maria's code. It's Sonic that lives solely by what he wants without much influence from others, not Shadow.
And what exactly makes Shadow a "dark" warrior? He's been explicitly characterized as someone who doesn't kill as recently as the prologue animation to this very game, where he goes out of his way to save a pilot when he doesn't need to. His entire life's purpose is protecting the world, and this doesn't involve killing or torturing people, so... what exactly is the dark part of his morality. Nothing about this recap has given me reason to believe he's anything but a heroic person with a traumatic past, and the subsequent game will only reinforce that.
I guess he did kill all the Black Arms, but that's not something the game ever treated as an immoral action. Shadow blows up Black Doom and the comet his people live on and all of our heroes cheer as he does it. It happens in the True Ending and everything, where Shadow's supposed to be proving himself as a hero for real, so that can't be the example of him being a Dark Warrior.
Is it because of how he treated Infinite, a character that this game doesn't acknowledge despite featuring a level from Forces? We'll never know. They just want you to accept the idea that he's Darker and Edgier than Sonic based on his surface-level demeanor alone, which... given that the objective of this game is to showcase Shadow's nuance, this is really out of place. Overall, not a great scene.
That said, the first real cutscene is pretty good, and it immediately showcases how unnecessary that recap was by showing how excited Maria was to meet Shadow for the first time. From that scene, we learn that Shadow was artificially made, that he's "the Ultimate Lifeform," that Maria was likely close to him, that this happened on some place called "the ARK" which is in space, etc. Why did we have a narrator tell us all of this a minute ago when we were just about to see it for ourselves?
I do have one nitpick, though - Shadow claims that he arrived at the ARK "an hour ago," and Rouge on the other end of the comm is already at Sonic's birthday party. Rouge only agreed to help Shadow get to the ARK if he would go to Sonic's birthday party afterwards, but how was Shadow supposed to have time to do anything up there if Sonic's party was that soon? I was under the impression from watching the prologue that Sonic's birthday was at least a week away, because how else would Rouge expect him to conduct a full investigation and potentially fight some huge battle before then?
Oh and the Time Eater shows up in two places at once (at Sonic's party and on the ARK), I feel like it would've made more sense to have it grab Shadow after it was done with everyone else. Now I'm gonna be forced to ask "why doesn't the Time Eater multiply" for the rest of the game. Whatever
Moving on, our first real sign of things to come is the fact that Omega does not have a proper speaking role despite showing up in the first cutscene. He's right there, conveniently next to Shadow, but as soon as you think they're going to talk to each other... you're dropped into the hub world. Speaking to Omega results in text bubble dialogue, wherein Shadow is mysteriously hit with Silent Protagonist Disease and we don't get to hear anything he says. Effectively, Omega just. talks at Shadow three times, saying nothing of interest. and it's completely optional.
I repeat: all of the dialogue from one of Shadow's best friends is OPTIONAL, and Shadow himself says nothing to him. Yeah, we're off to a great start.
(Omega even says that he's going to assist Shadow, and I just. I have to laugh. I'm so sorry Omega but in terms of physical actions, you're genuinely going to do less here than in Forces)
Shadow: "No. She's gone. I'm seeing things."
Pardon?? Seeing things??? I'm sorry but there is no way that Shadow can see and recognize Maria from that distance but not from ten feet away with her back turned. He's also never been implied to have super-vision, so the whole scene just doesn't make sense, and frankly adds nothing to the story.
Even if he doesn't mean literal sight, then 1) why did he phrase it like that, and 2) I kinda don't care. He doesn't need to be able to sense Maria's presence or whatever's going on here, because he's just as shocked when he actually sees Maria properly later. It builds suspense I suppose, but I feel like it would've been more impactful to discover that Maria was really here the same way Shadow does; in the cutscene where he saves her.
But before they can reunite, we've got the first proper cutscene with Black Doom:
Black Doom: "You defeated us, but the Black Arms live on. And this temporal anomaly has accelerated my plans to revive my forces and consume the world."
I'm gonna be real with you guys. I have no idea what he's talking about here.
The game makes zero attempt to really explain how the Black Arms "live on" despite Shadow blowing up their entire comet along with Black Doom himself, and going into the game, I kinda thought it was just... time displacement. Maria and Gerald are brought in from a time they were alive, so I thought it would be the same with Black Doom, but no - he revived himself before the Time Eater even got involved.
Which I'd be willing to accept if they gave me an explanation for it, but they didn't, and the whole foundation of the plot suffers for it.
Plus, what the heck does he mean that the temporal anomaly has "accelerated his plans to revive his forces"?? The Time Eater's powers don't... accelerate anything. At all. They pluck things out of time and freeze them in a void. How does that help Black Doom's plans whatsoever?
If the idea is that he's going to pluck his own forces out of time and bring them back that way, why not just say that? Why are they withholding such basic information from us? It doesn't create intrigue, and the story doesn't even treat it like there's a gap in our knowledge to begin with. I think it's genuinely supposed to be the whole explanation, and that's a problem because it explains very little.
Then you've got the Black Moon, and this thing annoys me to no end because guess what?? Despite gradually opening more eyes and cracking open every time you complete a level, it's never once explained what it is or what it's for. All it does is turn the white void into a red void and open a portal to Even More Radical Highway. Maybe I'm forgetting something from an optional piece of dialogue, but that only creates a different problem, which is that you should never lock basic understanding of the story behind optional dialogue.
Why does it have eyes? Is it a living creature or some weird bioweapon? It's oddly mechanical for a creation of the Black Arms; even their weaponry is organic, as this very game tells us through Omega, so what's its deal??
You'd think it would have something to do with time, considering the framing of this scene:
Shadow says "perhaps I can change their fate" and then looks to the Black Moon as though it may hold some relevance to this new plot thread, but. nope. it just takes you back to Radical Highway.
And hey, look at that, I was so busy complaining about the moon that I seamlessly transitioned into one of my biggest issues with the game: Shadow says this. and never follows up on it. EVER.
I'm not kidding, there's literally NO point in the game where we're shown Shadow trying to do ANYTHING to change Maria and Gerald's fates. There's no scene where he attempts to understand the void better, he never investigates anything, he makes exactly zero attempts to accomplish one of his main goals. of BRINGING HIS FAMILY BACK TO LIFE.
What is the point of them being here, then.
No, I'm serious, literally why are they here if we don't get to see Shadow try to save them?? By the time the final cutscene rolls around, they start fading away back to their own time, and suddenly Shadow's like
(WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED, YOU DID NOTHING TO PREVENT THIS OUTCOME)
But I'll talk more about Maria and Gerald later - for now, since we're on the topic of Shadow having odd reactions to things, how about those stages and bosses, huh?
Well guys, I'm pleased to announce that despite there being dialogue in some of the stages, absolutely none of it provides context to the locations Shadow visits or his thoughts on them! If you didn't play Heroes and have no idea that Bullet Station is where Shadow found a destroyed Shadow Android, kickstarting a new layer to his identity crisis, then congratulations, this choice of level will mean nothing to you.
And before anyone tries to be like "the Sonic Generations levels don't get commentary from Sonic on their significance to him, either," it's a problem there, too. But it's an even bigger problem here, because they went out of their way to choose levels that have real emotional significance to Shadow and then proceeded to do nothing with it.
Isn't this the game where we revisit Shadow's story up until this point? Would it have been so hard to drop a line of dialogue indicating that Shadow's not thrilled about returning to Bullet Station? Maybe add a brief cutscene where he finds the same broken android from before, and says something like "hmph, I can't believe I let that thing make me doubt myself for so long," thus demonstrating his growth?
Here's a fun fact: Shadow has zero cutscenes that happen inside of levels. This is something Sonic beats him at, by having one cutscene that takes place in a level (Chemical Plant). This should not have been a high bar to clear, but they fell short somehow, anyway.
(Space Colony ARK doesn't even use the Final Chase music. The Shadow game starts out with a song exclusive to Sonic rather than him. He actually has more ARK-related music than Sonic does and they still didn't use any of them. How did they mess that up)
This problem only gets worse when they start pulling in levels from Forces and Frontiers - games that this Shadow hasn't experienced yet and wasn't there for, respectively. Once again, on principle, this is a cool idea! Shadow getting a peek into what his and Sonic's futures have in store? The confusion over when these events take place, if they're even connected to him like the others have been? Great stuff
And hey, if he's going to Chaos Island, and we saw from the trailers that the volcano is exploding in Act 1, then maybe we could even see Super Sonic fighting Knight in the background in Act 2! The debris from their fight could even act as platforming challenges, can you imagine how cool that would be? What will Shadow think of the advanced tech on the island, or of seeing Sonic fight something so massive? Surely this is a great opportunity to elevate Frontiers even further--yeah of course they don't do that.
No Knight fight in the background, which is... fair enough, I guess, but then why bother with the volcano exploding? It only does that moments away from when Sonic is about to fight Knight. Yeah, it looks cool, but we didn't need it. The more egregious problem is still the fact that Shadow has no observable thoughts or opinions on being sent to unfamiliar terrain in the future, though.
The bosses all have dialogue, though, which is a step up on a technicality and little else. Most of the dialogue from Shadow is just him being a self-aggrandizing badass who doesn't see any of the bosses as threats - even Neo Metal Sonic, who he should really not be so confident in beating all by himself, considering that he. didn't do that before. It actually took eleven other people to defeat Neo Metal, including Super Sonic, but I guess he just doesn't care at this point.
If they wanted to, it would've been easy to make him overconfident on purpose due to his new Doom powers, make an arc out of it, but no. Shadow's just Like This now, apparently.
There's a similar power scaling issue in Sonic Generations too, where Sonic can somehow defeat Perfect Chaos without his super form, but the game had dropped location-specific cutscenes so long ago that it was hard to feel like it was even canon at a certain point. The game never cared about making sense or really being anything, but Shadow Generations doesn't get that excuse. The bosses having the most mid-gameplay dialogue tells us that they're Definitely Happening, and so I care more about them as a result.
Which takes us to the moment that I truly realized that this game had no interest in doing anything with its material: the Mephiles boss fight.
Shadow: "What's this? A seal of some sort?"
Okay real quick before I get into my big issues with this fight: I know it's a magic glowing artifact, but what about it actually looks like a seal, specifically? Does Shadow just have a sense for this kind of thing? I don't recall him ever demonstrating that ability before.
I feel like this line is just here to clarify what it is for people who don't know, but since Shadow also doesn't know, it's just kind of weird. I'm not even sure why he's in the Scepter to begin with, considering that Shadow's sealing attempt in this room was a failure, but whatever.
Of the three bosses in Shadow Generations that precede the final boss, Mephiles is the only one that can both speak and had a relevant dynamic with Shadow that would be interesting to revisit. The Biolizard is cool but doesn't have a personality, and Neo Metal had no real opinion on Shadow. (In Rivals 2, Shadow and Metal Sonic have a developing friendship, but this has unfortunately never been brought up again. If they did so here, it would only have been on Shadow's end, since Metal hadn't gotten to that point yet.)
But Mephiles? So much of his character revolves around Shadow. It was Shadow who sealed him away originally, and it was Shadow's form that he took when he broke free. He's the main antagonist of Shadow's story in 06, and even though his primary goal is rejoining with Iblis, he takes a vested interest in trying to manipulate Shadow over to his side by showing him the worst of what humans will do to him - not unlike Black Doom, honestly, though he was focused on Shadow's past instead.
Plus, it's been so long! We thought we would never get to see Mephiles again! What have you got for us, game?
Mephiles: "I will defeat you, then restore myself to the timeline." Shadow: "I don't know what you're talking about, but I will crush you all the same." Mephiles: "What? Did you forget about me AGAIN?"
*deep sigh*
Contradictory dialogue back-to-back. I see. Cool.
Mephiles should not be surprised that Shadow doesn't remember who he is, because he literally JUST SAID that his goal is to restore himself to the timeline. He KNOWS that he never existed, and therefore SHOULD KNOW that nobody he encounters will remember him. I'm convinced that he only reacted this way because the writers thought it would be funny, and that's it.
Even if it made sense, though, Mephiles isn't supposed to be funny. He's supposed to be ominous and threatening. For as much care that went into recreating this environment and his powers/body language from 06 (and I gotta say, this whole section looks extremely nice), none of that same care really seemed to go into his personality. He's just as drab as Neo Metal, occasionally repeating lines from 06 so that you know they played it and not much else.
The end of the fight features some absolutely unhinged dialogue from Shadow for no reason, though.
Mephiles: "No... I want... to exist...! Shadow: "There is no future for you. Ever."
Look, I get it, they've done nothing but fight this whole time . But Shadow has no personal beef with this guy. Even if they're going with the idea that Shadow wouldn't care to learn what Mephiles is rambling on about (kind of boring, and why wouldn't he be curious about why someone like this has it out for him), there's no reason to go so far as to say he'll never have a future. Is this the "dark" part of that "dark warrior" thing they were talking about in the beginning?? Kind of a random place for it to jump out of him, if so.
The kind of intensity coming from Shadow here would be justified if he remembered who Mephiles was, but he doesn't. As it stands, it gives off the impression that he didn't actually process a single thing Mephiles said about wanting to exist and restore himself to the timeline, and just said the first cool, edgy retort that came to mind. Which makes the sentence both less cool and even more out of character.
After this boss finished playing out, all I could feel was disappointment and a creeping sense of emptiness. If this was how the game was handling Mephiles, of all characters, if this was the extent of what they were willing to do with an idea... the rest of the game suddenly seemed much less exciting. I got to this point, realized how comparatively little of the game was left, and thought oh no.
Now, uh... where was I in the story, again?
Oh right, Shadow was about to go save Maria. I actually have no notes on that scene, it's pretty good and I liked that Maria was immediately thrown off by his aggressive fighting style and whatnot. It implies a lot about what Shadow used to be like without really showing or telling us, and that's pretty neat.
The following cutscene where Gerald explains how Shadow's growing powers only make Black Doom stronger in the process is also fine, there's nothing super specific for me to gripe about it in isolation.
And this good streak it has going is immediately interrupted by the worst, most nonsensical scene in the entire game.
Sonic: "I found you, Shadow!" Shadow: "The blue hedgehog... of all places..." Sonic: "You have something I need." Shadow: "You can wait until my business is finished." Sonic: "Yea sorry, but that Chaos Emerald and I have a date with a monster!" Shadow: "Well then, it'll be a date to die for."
This is. a really stilted conversation, no matter what way you look at it. On one hand, it's repurposed dialogue from two different scenes haphazardly mashed together, neither of which should represent their current dynamic anymore since they were both antagonistic at the time. And on the other, it just... completely lacks character from both of them. They're so unbelievably dry despite their attempts to sound quirky, it's actually impressive.
I have to ask - have the script writers not heard the incessant complaints from fans about there being too many references in modern Sonic dialogue?? Because this scene plays out like an actual parody of that trend, the kind I would expect to see on twitter or something. I initially saw the animation for this cutscene without audio due to leaks, and I thought it looked pretty cool because the animation was nicely done.
Boy, when I tell you I was stunned to discover that THIS was the actual, official dialogue. What happened here?? Why is this what Sonic cutscenes are turning into?? In a game that costs $50-$60??And people are saying it's the best Sonic game???
Somehow, the god-awful dialogue isn't even the only thing that's wrong with this scene, but I'll compile the rest in bullet points to speed it up a little.
Shadow suddenly shows up in Sonic's section of White Space, despite it not being visible from a distance and therefore giving no reason for Shadow to venture out that far
Sonic says he "found" Shadow as if he was looking for him, even though the only people Sonic has seen here other than his and Tails' past selves are people who were at his birthday party
Classic Sonic is neither seen nor mentioned despite the extremely fun potential of having him interact with Shadow
A purple portal conveniently shows up in front of Sonic and Shadow while they're talking for no reason
The boss fight with Sonic is just a cutscene (lame), and Shadow gets taken out completely by one solid bonk from Sonic (even lamer)
The fake Chaos Emerald switcheroo, while clever, is presented as if it was done deliberately when it was clearly a coincidence that it got knocked out of Shadow instead of the real one
(I guess this technically happens before the Mephiles fight so my faith in this game was already plummeting, but I was willing to tolerate this scene being bad because I could understand them not wanting to add too much to Sonic's side of things. They had completely free reign with Mephiles and still delivered nothing, which is why it really cemented itself in my head)
The one thing I really liked here was seeing Shadow almost use his Doom powers to defeat Sonic, deciding against it, and his hesitation being what lost him the match. Shadow refusing to fight Sonic on unequal terms is some really good characterization that I was happy to see.
Black Doom: "The promised time is nigh upon us, Shadow. Soon, you will be mine."
So did we ever learn what the "promised time" was, exactly? I've played every route of Shadow the Hedgehog (some more than once) and still can't remember. If he's referring to the time when Shadow awakens his full power then I guess it makes sense, but otherwise it's kind of an oxymoron considering that time doesn't exist in White Space.
Gerald: "He has grown a new body, and used the nebulous nature of time in White Space to accelerate his plans for revenge."
Shadow, buddy, your animation is positively kickin' right now but Gerald, I'm gonna need you to do literally anything other than just repeat the same lackluster explanation we got earlier as if that's going to make it any less confusing. What ABOUT the nebulous nature of time? Is time not largely just frozen here?? We're somehow around 3/4s into this story and I still have NO idea how anything works
Maria calms Shadow down from his frankly justified anger by holding his hand and talking about how she doesn't want him to be driven by darkness. They find a way to throw in the fact that apparently Maria named him "Shadow" because the presence of a shadow can show you where to find the light, and it's... nice? Very wholesome, but it feels awkwardly placed and I'm not sure anyone was seriously asking why he was named that. Like, of all the questions to spend this game's limited screentime answering, "why is he named Shadow" was probably not at the top of most people's lists.
And before you have a chance to think about it, we're already at the endgame.
Shadow: "I'm letting go of that destructive anger."
Wow, and in the very next scene after it was brought to your attention, too! You sure do grow fast, Shadow!
Okay, all jokes aside, there's not much I can say about the pacing in this game other than It's Rushed and Bad, but I think it's finally time to talk about Gerald and Maria.
Gerald first: He's mostly just here to give out exposition. His relationship with Shadow is much less focused on than Maria's, which I find to be really frustrating because I always had a lot of questions about how those two interacted. In SA2, we only know him as a grieving, hate-filled man who was heavily implied to have scientifically messed with Shadow's mind - not long after they had both just lost Maria - in order to make him inclined towards Gerald's revenge plan.
In Shadow's first game, we see a side to him from before then, when he really seemed to care for Shadow and we got some clarity on the purpose of the Eclipse Cannon and whatnot. But what were their average interactions like? Who was in charge of Shadow's training? If it was Gerald, did that ever create a sense of distance between them? Shadow never has warm, nostalgic flashbacks of him, so I assumed their relationship either wasn't as close or he has too many conflicting feelings now for those memories to be very comforting.
This game decides to lean into Gerald being a kind, supportive man, but regardless, Shadow's feelings should be a lot more complicated, no?
I'd imagine that, in a way, it's a relief to have this Gerald around again. It would make it easier to pretend that the man who used him in an attempt to destroy the world and go against everything Maria stood for was just... a fluke, or something.
But still, Shadow knows that he would do bad things to him if Maria died. It's already happened.
Dark Beginnings also suggested that either Shadow was there when he shot down by the firing squad (unlikely given the context), or he watched the recording that played at the end of SA2 enough to be able to see it in his dreams. Neither of those are good for his psyche, and would only add to the number of emotions he has to suppress whenever they interact. There is, of course, none of this nuance within the game itself, despite it being right there and ready to be worked with.
Then you've got Maria, and. hoo boy.
I take no real issue with any of Maria's traits that are on display. Her being a nice girl with boundless energy and goodwill does not make her boring, and I've always been fascinated by her character. So, I need you guys to understand that it's with a heavy heart that I must say that Maria is... barely a character in this game.
And like, she doesn't exactly have a history of being deep or complex. But we've also only ever seen her in Shadow's memories up until this point, and that means this game was a unique opportunity to flesh her out more.
When a character is as idealized by another as Maria is by Shadow, and we only see them through that lens, it's natural to assume that the depiction isn't completely accurate. I was never in doubt that Maria was kind and gentle, or that she was always there to help Shadow when she knew he was struggling, but I always wanted to know what she was like outside of that. What makes her angry? What was she like on a bad day, when she inevitably got frustrated at her lot in life? How did Shadow comfort her? What was her sense of humor like?
While we technically learn more things about Maria in this game, there's never a point where she acts differently from Shadow's vision of her. She's not really shown to have flaws, and she's only really there to be saved and offer emotional support. It's like... a textbook example of what you shouldn't be doing when writing a female character, having her be defined entirely by her relationship with the male lead and never speaking up or complaining about her own problems or feelings. They don't even make a point out of it, that Maria tempers herself to be "perfect" for other people or anything like that.
Why don't we get to see how she and Shadow would handle an argument or something like that? Especially this Shadow, who's all shaken up by everything? Wouldn't it be beneficial for both of their characters for Maria to be seen as herself, the way she was in life, rather than just the nicest moments she and Shadow had together?
I'm gonna make a comparison here that people aren't gonna like, but... I think Elise is honestly shown to be a more nuanced character than Maria is. And this is coming from someone who thinks that she was also mishandled in her game.
Similar to Maria, Elise is genuinely a deeply caring person, and lives mostly isolated with a condition of sorts that makes her life difficult. Her most important relationship is also with the male lead of her respective game, but she doesn't exist solely for his benefit. (Amusingly, Sonic actually seems to be there primarily to further her arc, so it's a bit of a role swap there.)
But we see more from Elise than just Being Nice all the time. We see her being resolute and bold in the face of danger, or disappointed when she has to go back to the castle. We watch her try her hardest not to cry and retain her strong, regal exterior when faced with overwhelming emotion.
We get to see her open up and laugh and become more confident, we watch as someone who's been forced to put her feelings aside for the convenience (and safety) of others her whole life finally break down and shout something selfish for once. And then we watch her ultimately choose to do the right thing, anyway. Her strength of character is shown to us by putting her in situations that challenge her, and the narrative never once shames her for being imperfect; it's actually encouraging her to be her real, flawed self.
Why does Maria not get this same treatment? Why don't we get cutscenes of her being excited about the new environment she's in, or frustrated that her symptoms are making it difficult to do anything here? When does she get to be selfish? Why can't she get upset at people treating her like she's frail, even if it technically "makes sense" for them to do so?
We're told, in Gerald's journal, that some of the people aboard the ARK doubted that Maria was really sick due to her symptoms not being clearly visible. Because it's his journal, we only get to hear his feelings on the matter, but in the full game, we never once get to know how it makes Maria feel, the person this is all about to begin with. They absolutely could have incorporated this into a cutscene somewhere, but they didn't.
Once again, I have to ask: what is the point of Maria and Gerald being in this game if this was how they were going to be written? Not only does Shadow fail to even attempt to save their lives, he doesn't even walk away from the experience with renewed understanding of who they were as people.
So what even happens in this story, then?? Every single aspect of it is dragged down constantly by the game's refusal to do anything with what it has:
Shadow revisits places from his past, but has nothing to say about them
Shadow visits places from the future, but has nothing to say about them
He has nothing relevant or interesting to say about any of the bosses
Mephiles trying to restore himself to the timeline is a plot point that exists solely within his boss fight and nowhere else
He doesn't struggle with any of the bosses, emotionally or physically, turning them into a boring power trip
He barely struggles with his Doom powers, the things that are supposed to be giving him an identity crisis
Sonic is not a playable boss fight and he also says nothing relevant or interesting
Classic Sonic doesn't even get a passing mention
The Team Dark friendship is supposed to be a highlight but Shadow never speaks to Omega, who also never shows up in cutscenes, and Rouge is just kinda there
Maria and Gerald never meet Rouge and Omega, or anybody else on-screen, despite it being extremely easy for them to run into each other
Shadow's relationships with Maria and Gerald are barely explored past their surface
Most importantly, Shadow is never shown making any sort of effort to save Maria and Gerald from their fates, despite it being one of his primary goals
...Oh yeah, I forgot to complain about how Shadow barely struggles with his Doom powers. I was gonna go on a whole spiel about how it would've been super easy to make into an arc and how it was wildly underutilized despite being a major selling point of the game, and the only real consistent conflict whenever Black Doom isn't on screen.
Well. Anyway. Once the White Space becomes Red Space (something that once again makes me question how far away Sonic's area is, to not be able to see this happening), Shadow magically gets over his "destructive anger" and goes to Radical Highway one last time for the epic final boss.
And it certainly is epic, I can't deny that. A massive technical improvement over the first fight against Devil Doom, and I'm not about to sit here and act like the wings aren't cool. But I can't say it feels very rewarding, since I never really understood what was going on and Shadow didn't really struggle that much to get to this point. Not to mention, he's still acting all high and mighty during boss fights, which makes it feel stale really quickly. Black Doom isn't really that interesting by himself, so Shadow kinda needed to carry that fight, but no, it's just more of the same.
One last point before I wrap this up:
Where was Emerl???
Correct me if I'm wrong, but a promo animation for a game should, in theory, provide you some idea as to what kind of things to expect in the game itself. While a lot of them take their share of creative liberties, I don't think they're in the habit of putting spotlight on entire characters who never appear in the game at all.
This is THE GAME where we bring back the people from Shadow's past that he's lost, and Emerl most certainly qualifies. He's from the more recent past, yes, but Shadow still cared about him and absolutely would have been affected by his death. There's no way that, had he been in the story, Shadow wouldn't have been determined to save him as well. But no, he's just there to be a cool lore detail in Gerald's journal.
Which means this is yet another depiction of Emerl where we refuse to acknowledge his personality. Do they seriously think Emerl is more interesting as an emotionless killing machine that Gerald researched in his spare time? Where's the fun-loving kid who mimicked everyone around him, splicing things he heard them say together to communicate and creating funny tonal whiplash? Where's the robot with the soul that Gerald gave him, that was nurtured by Sonic and his friends?
Not in this game, apparently! They went out of their way to canonize Battle and still managed to treat it with zero respect. Kind of impressive, really, and just another footnote in the trend of this game not actually caring to do anything with Shadow's past.
There are definitely moments in this game that I like, but that's kind of all they are: moments. The game's total cutscene runtime is around 30 minutes, and that means there's not enough time in any of them to get anything done. A scene that's good in isolation is tainted by the fact that it's all there is.
And it's just... so baffling to me. There are so, so many points in this game where you could have fit additional cutscenes in. We could have had one after each act, or at least after each level. Give us more cutscenes after activating things in the hub world or something. I mean, a game that claims to be this story-driven doesn't usually need an excuse to throw cutscenes at you, and they certainly didn't need to force each scene to be so unbelievably short.
If they really needed to downsize on cutscene length for some reason, then maybe they should have just made a less ambitious story. The game wants to do so many things at once, but it doesn't have the time to do any of those things justice. We could have gotten a short, sweet, well-done little story, but instead we get a story that easily needed at least two hours to tell crunched into a measly 30 minutes.
I mean, Dark Beginnings in its entirety is half the length of the full game. Think about that for a second.
This game's story was supposed to be something, man. It's getting so much praise for what feels to me like the bare bones structure of a story, and it's frustrating because I know this series can do better. The writer of this game can do better, and I know that because I've read his other Sonic material and it feels much more complete than this does.
I was genuinely looking forward to this game, is the thing. I really didn't think it would be this lackluster, because like I said at the beginning of this post, it had everything in the world going for it. But no matter how nice it feels to have a Shadow who isn't wildly out of character for once, that alone can't carry an entire story.
Shadow Generations is a mess of good ideas executed in the least interesting, most nothing way possible. Its only real saving grace is its animation, and the fact that Shadow generally feels like himself.
Except for when he's talking to Sonic. What the heck happened when he was talking to Sonic
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#sonic x shadow generations spoilers#sxsh generations#sxsh spoilers#sxsh generations spoilers#analysis#meta#This uh. might be my longest post ever??#I didn't go into this planning for it to be 7000 words but I just kept finding new things to ramble about#And of course I just wanna say that this post is NOT here to tell people that they can't like the game's story#I just needed to air out all of my issues with it because I felt like I was going insane
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JJK Spoilers.........
beautiful boy... Gojo + Megumi
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#everytime i think about them i cry#the fact that they didn't even get a goodbye#OR THE FACT that gojo didn't get the send off he deserved 😭#jjk manga#web weaving#anime
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Just sitting on my bed, studying biology when I think that leo valdez probably cried on his 17th birthday because he got to be the age Jason never got to be. He got to experience being 17 while jason is forever 16.
#he was probably thinking if he hadn't come back jason would still be alive#also the fact jason and leo didn't even get to say goodbye to eachother—#aether talks#percy jackson#pjo#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#heroes of olympus#trials of apollo#leo valdez#jason grace#valgrace#jason grace x leo valdez
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I refuse to acknowledge anything that happened in this volume. none of this happened. must've just been a heat induced fever dream. nope. no way.
#THE FACT WE DON'T EVEN GET TO BE UPSET#STOP WRITING SUCH SPINELESS MC'S I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING FORCED TO BE TIMID AND A DOORMAT#AND YOU GOTTA PAY 17 GEMS TO REMIND HIM OF HOW COMPATIBLE WE ARE???#I don't even want any of these li's anymore bro#it's all same dialogue different name so there's no defending ANYONE#I didn't even get to say goodbye to chen but then if you stick with chen he's gonna do that weird thing with uma#and in the dressing room??? not matter what you say your li says you don't know him as well as yall thought#damned if you do damned if you don't#I HATE IT HERE#LET MY MC JUST FUCKING WALK PLS I'M DONE#insert quen blackwell screaming crying gif#litg#litg s9#love island the game#sun.txt
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22 days until ode's 22nd birthday
day 22 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - ode's past birthday brrrr ppoppos
#xdinary heroes#ode#oh seungmin#jungsu#jooyeon#gaon#junhan#jun han#gunil#kim jungsu#lee jooyeon#kwak jiseok#han hyeongjun#goo gunil#ode22#forfreddy#IT'S BIRTHDAY TIME! (scheduling this for midnight korean time again) (i hope we're getting many more brr ppoppos this year!)#happy birthday seungmin!! hope he's having a good time ♥#he's such a sweet and considerate guy. ugh the fact that he often cries when it's time to say goodbye?? relatable king but also SO SWEET#and ugh it's such an interesting contrast - the icy guy who leaves such a cold first impression seems to be so emotional. he cares a lot an#when i was at their concert there were two instances (i tried to keep it general rn but i just remembered this is kinda the personal part..#one time he was on the verge of tears - he just looked at the crowd and he was about to cry and UGH i wanted to climb up there and hug him#he was just so overwhelmed with seeing all these people supporting him and his band and UGH it's pretty nice to stan a band that appreciate#when you realize it actually MEANS something to them#the other instance was... at some point he asked us to take a step back. and i was wondering what the next step was going to be - jumping o#but he didn't add anything. he just wanted us to get more space so we'd be safer. and UGH it wasn't even necessary it wasn't super stuffed#and there was no immediate danger. there was no need to act but still he cared about us and he wanted us to be comfortable and safe#and that's super sweet and i think that's the kind of person he is. very considerate very sentimental. and that's amazing ♥
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Baldur's Gate 3 Ending Spoilers Ahead :)
Okay why The Fuck can't we have a romance ending with the Emperor. Why THE FUCK NOT. WHY. THIS IS UNFAIR. LARIAN YOU ALLOWED ME TO FUCK THE GUY, YOU ALLOWED ME TO TRUST HIM AND BE THERE FOR HIM AND TURN INTO A MINDFLAYER MYSELF, AND THEN I CAN'T HAVE A ROMANCE ENDING? THE FUCK???
#okay the fact that he basically goes 'do your thing and I'll be waiting for you for as long as it takes' is sweet but#BUT#I TURNED INTO AN ILLITHID TO SAVE HIS STUPID TENTACLY ASS#(and not to have to kill Lae'zel either)#I LITERALLY TOOK THE BURDEN UPON MYSELF FOR THOSE TWO IDIOTS AND BECAME SQUID#I did all that PLUS I forsook my romance with Lae'zel and then the game fucking ends with A LETTER?#NOT EVEN AN IN-PERSON GOODBYE?#LARIAN??? HELLOOOO?#I had a whole sequence of Karlach going to Avernus with Wyll which don't get me wrong I'm glad she's fine!#I was so scared she was going to die!#but why is that the only cutscene I get#nothing about the other characters and most of all NOTHING ABOUT THE EMPEROR#the narrator goes 'you won't have to face this burden alone anymore' and my shippy ass was already smiling ear to ear#thinking 'cause I'll be with the Emperor right'#'I'll be with the Emperor right...?'#and then cuts to black. what the fuck. What the actual fuck.#Larian you buffoons shouldn't have let me have sex with him if you didn't have a romance ending. No I'm serious I feel scammed#'Zero are you really complaining about not having a romance ending with the tentacle fucking thing' YES#YES DO YOU KNOW ME YES HE'S THE BEST CHARACTER IN THAT GAME
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ok i KNOW solas just kinda vanished instead of doing the whole "I AM LEAVING..... ON A MYSTERIOUS JOURNEY.... FAREWELL" schtick. and I get WHY he did that (no reason to say goodbye if this world is only a dream/it is easier to abandon quietly than to deal with people/it is MUCH easier to write off everyone's fate if you don't let yourself become attached/less questions this way)
but on a friendship level it makes me sad. or i guess it makes my Inquisitor sad. stories end without goodbyes all the time, true, but that doesn't make it any less disappointing. and also I want to torment Solas by demonstrating to him that he could and did actually forge bonds and he can and will be missed as a person and not as a god. I want to send him off with Genuine, Heartfelt Well-Wishes And Affection and I want that goodbye to haunt him until the end of his days.
#dragon age#solas#revallen lavellan#it just makes solas and revallen even more similar tbh. identical behavior#like it's shitty! but revallen has NO room to complain when he did the EXACT same thing to Tillahnen. in fact this may be a learning moment.#but revallen's an affectionate guy with people he cares about and i know he's ticked that he didn't get a goodbye#he didn't get the chance to cast his protection charm (which he does with every major goodbye as a trauma response)#he genuinely considered solas a friend! he looked up to him! they had a level of understanding between them!
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absolutely fucking devastated at seeing muncy go (can’t stress it enough tbh) but i really, really hope this means we get bruno and churlish as series regulars. i will rip my hair out if i see them trying to fight crime with two detectives in the fucking roster. AGAIN.
#HONESTLY what's the point of introducing these characters if you're gonna get rid of them like a year later#and the fact that they didn't even keep her goodbye scene IN#fucked up#this is both about kat tamin and grace muncy btw#why are ya'll so against having a steady cast#it worked for you for a good twelve years#svu was doing better than they have in the last five years tbh#and dont get me started on jamie because i WILL weep#i will#grace muncy#joe velasco#bruno terry#tonie churlish#olivia benson#fin tutuola#svu#law and order
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I'm loving how, being stagings of the play and not reinterpretations, many productions are able to add some characteristic creative twist to it that adds or enhances something in particular
#Besides the German musical I watched yesterday Brambilla's Italian production of the play#I didn't like much its Cyrano or its Roxane but I loved its Christian. Easily one of my favourites for now#I was giving a look at first and fell on the scene with the cadets and it was OBVIOUS who Christian was#which is exactly the effect he should have! He was pretty and charming and sweet and fun. And I adored him in Act IV!#He was so heartbroken and so angry! He made me realise that when he is like 'what the hell are you saying about still writing letters?'#he is very logically shocked and angry? betrayed?‚ because there's really no need at that point!#Christian wanted to stop even before getting a kiss‚ but now he's married to her!#There was no need for Cyrano to keep writing her letters for him‚ especially not without Christian's knowledge#The way he tells Cyrano he'd like to write a goodbye letter to Roxane with that in mind seems even more like him wanting to write it#himself even if with maybe some help or support from Cyrano to do so more eloquently#In some productions Christian seems irritated by the fact that Cyrano has already written him one and he is so right to be mad!#I think this Christian enhanced many of these little things. He truly made me reconsider a few things of the entire situation#at that point and why he feels so betrayed and sadenned. There was no need at all...#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Cyrano de Bergerac#Aesthetically and musically this production was weird at times but interesting and often pretty. I loved the staging of act iv#I don't understand some musical choices or why at times they seem to be in the south Spain? Or that's the vibe it gave me haha#I loved that the moon moved and I KNEW they were going to make Cyrano die there but I loved it nonetheless#Christian was ready to fight and I love when they make him like that. Not just insulting Cyrano‚#but the insults as a way to incite him to duel. The 1950 version does this as well and I love him#The Christian in Solès' version I loved as well in the end‚ but probably this Italian one and the 1950 Christian are my favourite for now#I love some of what they do with the 1950 Christian. The developing of his friendship with Cyrano‚ how ready he is to fight‚ his insecurity#I adore that in a mix of wanting to prove himself and not wanting Cyrano and Roxane's chat to be disturbed he insists on taking#Cyrano's mission. And I ADORE how they look somewhat alike. The way they could get confused for each other from certain angles ugh#But I loved this Christian as well. How honest and open he is‚ how puppylike. How he is desperate and heartbroken‚#the way he cries in grief and anger and his voice breaks#Also the translation wasn't spectacular in form and was quite literal‚ but I liked the effect#Not too pretty‚ funny at times‚ but I think the Italian flowed wonderfully. It felt natural and organic#At times something I could actually hear in daily conversation. It was perhaps in part the delivery‚ but it felt like it wasn't only that
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now that we're looking into our body past and finding way more signs that we've been plural for god knows how long, we've been leaning into more of the things we used to do very naturally to express our plurality and it's been kinda fun
#like how we used to have so many imaginary friends that lasted for far far longer than a kid should have imaginary friends#like. at least up to middle school#so when we were 12 or 13#and even when the imaginary friend aspect faded (and became a paracosm) we'd still stick to the same habits#of talking to them and not feeling like *i* was controlling what they were saying#and having them run around near us and interact with the environment like running alongside a car#we still do that a lot with imagining dragons flying alongside the car#and we've started to apply that to our sys now and it feels really natural and fun#we want to try and engage with some of our wayyyy older interests to see if maybe our 'imaginary friends' of them#could possibly be headmates we didn't register as headmates back then#the big evidence for those not being imaginary friends that we have is like. we didn't always Choose who we included in our cast#it was multiple different fictional characters from shows we liked and we didn't. pick which characters we got#bc the two main things we remember from back then#is 1: Matt got his arm broken at one point and it DIDN'T HEAL for 3 months and none of us knew why#like i was genuinely upset over the fact that i couldn't imagine it away i was so convinced i should be able to do that but i couldn't#and also 2: Matt missed his source friends but i couldn't ever get them to show up as imaginary friends#OH also 3: multiple times i tried to go 'i don't need imaginary friends anymore. goodbye' and they wouldn't fucking leave#and all this just. feels like how our sys works now#down to the 'i don't want you to be here. goodbye' (she's still there 4 years later) (very sorry hope we were just scared)#(we were like NOT AN INTROJECT OF *HER* and attempted to will her to become someone else but instead we just got one of each)#(we've learned to stop doing that now)
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When they call you clingy, so you distance yourself | Hyung Line
Warnings: Cursing
Pt2, Pt3 Maknaeline
(X)
BANGCHAN |
You walked into Chan’s studio, quietly shutting the door behind you, as to not startle him.
“Hey Chris, can we talk for a second?”
You watched as your boyfriend of a year and a half continued to type away, not acknowledging your question.
“Chris? Did you hear me?”
“Yes I heard you. I just didn't answer."
"Well, it would be nice for a little acknowledgment, I asked if we could talk." You state politely. You understood that Chan was stressed, but you believed it was basic courtesy to at least acknowledge someone - let alone your significant other - when they asked you a question.
"Well, I'm kind of busy at the moment."
"I understand it will only take two minutes ba-"
“Dammit Y/N! I'm busy right now can't you see?" He snaps. Turning towards you and showing you the screen of his laptop.
You open your mouth to speak and tell him just why you needed to talk to him at this very second but he interrupted you.
"When we first started dating, I get that you told me you were clingy. I also get that I told you I liked clingy. But my god, Y/N you're not just clingy you're fucking obsessive. And always at the wrong times! You want space when I actually have time. Yet you decide to stroll in here trying to start a damn conversation when you can clearly see I'm trying to play damage control from a fucking dumbass trainee thinking it was funny to mess with my tracks. I'm already stressed as fuck about that, yet I have you breathing down my neck like some obsessive stalker. Like for five minutes just leave me alone!"
You stiffened at Chan’s tone. It was very rare that Chan would ever raise his voice. He managed his frustrations very well and was aware of how sensitive you were so he was always careful about confrontation.
He turned around and had his back hunched over his laptop as he typed and clicked away furiously, unaware of the tears that were quickly springing to your eyes. You were frozen in place, your heart beating uncontrollably.
It took a minute before you were even able to take a breath.
You stood there long enough for Felix to come bursting through the door to come update Chan about something unimportant to the task at hand. The same task that he had snapped at you for interrupting.
And you think that what hurt most. The way the frown on his face was lessened when talking to the younger male and his cute chuckle even popped out once or twice.
You finally were able to pull yourself out of the studio, leaving behind the coat you had absentmindedly placed down out of habit when you had come in and opted to take your purse.
The air was brisk and had that dry smell it always gained before it snowed.
Your apartment was close to the studio, a 25-minute walk at most so you always opted to take a stroll when visiting Chan, but you were on a tight schedule so within a minute you were in a taxi heading home.
And just as quickly you were back in a taxi heading to the airport.
You knew it was petty of you to mute Chris's notifications. But the fact that he snapped at you was just the tip of the iceberg. You knew that once he calmed down, he would immediately be filled with guilt. And you would rather not have your phone being blown up by multiple people at once.
Are you headed to the airport?
You responded to your brother's message with a thumbs up and turned on your DND before the screen darkened with a click.
You glanced at your watch and sighed.
You'd be on a plane heading home in less than an hour and weren't even able to kiss Chris goodbye.
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)
MINHO |
"You're clingy as hell." Minho mumbled under his breath, thinking you wouldn't hear. But oh did you hear.
"Lee Minho what did you just say?"
He let out a sharp breath and looked up from his phone. "I called you clingy." He stated boldly, his voice even yet loud enough to be heard by Hyunjin and Han who quickly scurried away to the other half of the suite.
"And what about me is so clingy?"
Minho chuckled sarcastically. "Oh I don't Y/N, do you want me to recap the entire day for you?"
You had joined the kids on their trip to Paris. While they had been here numerous times, this was your first time traveling here and due to the anxiety of being in a new place, you attached yourself to Minho's hip since it was your first day here.
You didn't intend to be overbearing, nor did you intend to be up his ass for the entire week and a half long trip, but you wanted to get used to the surroundings and you felt most comfortable doing that with your boyfriend. Yesterday being your first day you spent the entirety of it with Minho. You had noticed quickly how his excitement had turned into unease and straight up irritation after a while. It was a weird phase of emotions considering how happy he had been but you had amounted it to you accidentally taking a wrong turn and missing a fireworks show Minho had been talking about all day. You had come into his room early this morning to apologize, but instead were meant by an overly irritable boyfriend.
"It's because I've never been here before! Did you expect me to not to ask you to show me around?"
"Y/N there is a difference between a tour guide and a fucking babysitter. You pulled me along to everywhere you wanted to go. I had plans yesterday! Certain things that I was hoping to do. I made an entire schedule and everything, but just because you wouldn't agree to be toured around the city by Chan you ruined all of that. Then you spent the entire day just pulling me along. If you wanted someone to give you an overly extensive run down of everything and keep you company, why don't you ask someone closer to your personality like Jisung or Jeongin? I'm sure they'd love talking of the ears of all the local with you. Shit, you'd probably become some street show you three."
You sucked in your cheeks and took a breath.
"That was uncalled for, you have no need to bring anyone else into this discussion."
Minho chuckled sarcastically.
"Discussion? What is there to discuss? The amount of time I want you to leave me alone? Hell, why not the entire fucking trip?" He spat out.
"You're an ass Minho."
"Yeah well at least I'm not a pain in someone else's."
You felt your bottom lip start to tremble and your chin shake.
Don't cry. You'll just be a crybaby.
"And here come the water works." He groans as if he read your mind, getting up from his bed and heading towards the room where the rest of the guys were probably trying to keep occupied as to not hear your arguing.
"So what? You're just gonna walk away?" You call out.
"YOU'RE PROVING MY FUCKING POINT!" He shouted, finally at his breaking point. "It was a mistake asking you to come on this trip." He said turning around one final time and opening the door to the other side of the suite. "I never should have asked."
"Well you know what, maybe this trip isn't the only thing you should have never asked about. And I'm starting to realize that maybe it's not the only thing I never should have said yes to." You spit out turning on your heel and slamming the door.
You furiously wiped at the tears that were sticking to your face and threw your hood up over your head as you headed to your room to contemplate what would become of you two now.
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CHANGBIN |
It was irritating to you the way Changbin was interacting with the female barista. And the irritation must have shown on your face because when he handed you your iced latte, he raised an eyebrow.
"Is everything okay jagiya?"
You sighed as you guys stepped out the shop and started making your way back towards the studio. Changbin had been really busy the last couple of weeks with preparing for a special release and collabing with a few other groups, so you hadn't been able to be around your boyfriend as often as you'd like. So you had agreed on meeting during his lunch every other day, even if the times varied.
"You just seemed really flirty with that barista." You mumbled. "It was obvious she was into you too. I mean who wouldn't you're the Seo Changbin." You giggled elbowing him playfully. You pulled out your phone to make sure there was enough time for you to walk Changbin back or if you would have to take an Uber. You nodded at the time and swiped away a few notifications from Minho.
You expected Changbin to laugh or reassure you like he usually did when you brought up his flirty habits. Instead he snorted into his cup as he took a sip of the dark liquid.
"Jealous much?"
You laughed a little. "Why would I be jealous? She isn't the one who has been dating you for three years." You said hip bumping him, but he stepped away from you rather brashly.
"Well it seems like you are because you have to bring up me and my so called flirting ever single time I talk to anyone of the female species."
"Bin it was just a joke-"
"Well I'm not joking when I say you're acting clingy as fuck." His tone was way off and he seemed to realize the shit he was setting himself up to be put in because he stopped mid stride and turned around to you with an agitated sigh.
"Do you...I don't know want to run that by me again?" You ask, firming your stance.
"God, Y/N, don't make this a big thing. Its just been a day-"
"No, no. You don't get to use that excuse Changbin. We're supposed to talk through these things. You don't just get to say something like that and then act like you didn't."
You guys stood at an impasse for a moment until he spoke up rolling his eyes.
"Fine. I think you're being clingy." He said simple. "Jealousy falls under clinginess and I think you're being jealous so therefore you are being clingy."
"Changbin it was a fucking joke! You've never reacted this way before so I don't know why you're acting this way now!"
Changbin just rolled his eyes and continued in the direction of the studio.
"Seo Changbin, where are you going?"
"To work Y/N. You know, maybe if you actually picked up a more stable job then you wouldn't have as much time to be up my ass and exaggerating about things that aren't things you should be butt hurt about."
You stiffened at Changbin's low blow and took a breath.
"We need to fix this before it gets out of hand." You grit out.
"Well maybe I don't want to fix this." He looked at his watch. "I'm late now so why don't you just drink your latte and go home to cool off."
The condescending voice Changbin was using sent you over the edge. You were angry to the point of tears.
You chucked your nearly full iced latte at him. It hit his chest with a thud, and the coffee made a rather pretty pattern on his pristine white shirt.
"Maybe that'll help you cool yourself off. Fuck you Changbin." You pushed past him and waved down the closest taxi.
Your phone was buzzing in your pocket and you pulled it out.
"Hey, are you and Changbin on your way back? I need to go over some choreography and we're filming tiktoks right when he gets back."
You did the best you could to keep your voice level when responding to Minho.
"He's on his way back now. But you need to get him a new shirt because being the dumbass he is he likes to make a mess of perfectly good things."
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)
HYUNJIN|
You were never very happy having to attend events with Hyunjin. It wasn't that you didn't like spending time with him, or in turn spending time with the guys events.
It was just you felt insecure being the plus one of someone like Hyunjin.
It was no secret to anyone how those who knew and perceived Hwang Hyunjin's existence thought of him.
He had a beauty that rivaled any masterpiece that had ever been painted. The elegance of a tiger lily with the face of an angel.
You knew of many people who would jump at the opportunity to be with Hyunjin. For the past 11 months you had been with him you had your fair share of run ins with crazy fans or pop stars of the like.
Once your relationship had gone public a month ago you found yourself being compared to the female idols in the industry even more than you has expected.
It seemed to be the general consensus that not many people viewed you as "beautiful enough" to be with someone like Hyunjin.
You didn't take it to heart because you decided to have the outlook of nobody being beautiful enough for Hyunjin - let alone the people writing those hateful comments considering they were most likely delusional pre-teens who made the most out of pocket edits and were in desperate need of some grass groping.
But after a month it was starting to get to you slightly. Especially as you had come across one of those edits, since you had been tagged in it after someone found your personal account.
The amount of hate messages were starting to get to change your perception on things. Because the more you were hearing it the more you were seeing and believeing it.
"Jinnie do you think that my shoulders look weird in this dress?" You walked into your living room where Hyunjin was sitting. He looked up and a bright smile showed on his face.
"I think you look beautiful jagiya!" He said standing up. He looked other worldly in his tuxedo.
"And my hair?"
"Perfect." He said placing a kiss on your forehead. "We have to leave now if we want to make it on time. Or else I would look at you all night."
By the time you had been at the event for thirty minutes you already wanted to go home. You felt like the ugliest person there, and you couldn't help but feel the eyes of many people on you.
Ever couple of minutes you found yourself looking for Hyunjin's reassurance.
"Does my stomach look bloated?"
"Is my makeup fine?"
"Can you see the pimple on my chin?"
"Are my nails okay?"
"Do I look ugly?"
"Should I make my hair look like hers next time?
Hyunjin was reassuring you, but after the third or fourth questioning of the night his answers became generic.
When he was talking to an idol and his significant other you couldn't help but start comparing yourself to her. She was so pretty.
"Hyunjin should I run home and change?" You asked quietly in English. You were doing your best to learn Korean so it would be easier to communicate with Hyunjin's parents when the time came that your families were to get closer. You wanted it to be a surprise when the time came, because you knew how much Hyunjin wanted you to get along with his family, when when the time came to meet them - he wanted to get along with your family.
"You're girlfriend is pretty clingy isn't she?" The other idol asked in his native language, assuming you didn't speak korean because of your fluency in english.
"Yeah she is extremely clingy." Hyunjin replied. "Might be the clingiest girl I've ever met."
You looked at the other idols girlfriend and she made a face, and then laughed.
"You can tell she is a foreigner by the way she acts. No one is ever as clingy as foreign partners." She joked and all three of them were laughing.
Well there is the hundredth insecurity to list.
You looked at them and tried to control your facial expressions.
"We were just telling him that you are so adorable." The girl told you.
You chuckled uncomfortably and looked over at Hyunjin. He smiled and blinked cutely at you.
You smiled back as Hyunjin turned towards the couple again to continue his conversation.
And all you could do was smile back as you pretended to not understand the words Hyunjin didn’t even realize hurt you.
#skz imagines#skz reactions#stray kids reaction#skz stay#skz x reader#stray kids#skz angst#lee minho#skz minho#stray kids minho#christopher bang#skz bang chan#hwang hyunjin#seo changbin#skz changbin#skz hyunjin#skz hyunjin angst#skz bangchan angst#Skz changbin angst#Skz lee know angst#@dontwannaexist @adrisiwiris @ddiidi @minsungsthirdwheel @keshet2k @ray0magdalene @maaatyroshka @hardladytale @dreammix88 @yaorzu-blog..#@periodpoops @parisanmorovati @theodorenottgf @vixensss @lovesunshinefelix @conwunder @bo-fairykim @ka0ila @imperfectlyperfectprincess..#@dollschan @stay-tiny-things @hyunjins-dimples @lisunny2 @katexstay @chuuyaobsessed @abovenyx#@jiminssluttyminx#@pearl-monkeys#@viola-celine#@wave2ivy#@keshet2k#@dreammix88#@mysticalhumano
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The Importance of Studying Queerness in Context.
When studying queer history, one always has to keep in mind two seemingly contradictory things: firstly, that queerness and queer people have always existed, but at the same time, that queerness and queer identities have not always existed the way they exist today.
Modern queer terms and identities did not exist to queer people in the past. They would not have thought of themselves as "gay" or "trans" or even "queer." While these modern terms may seem to fit certain historic individuals, these individuals would not have thought of themselves as such, and it would not be a part of their lived experience. To apply the modern identities of queerness to history is to erase the lives and experiences of queer people in history, and care must always be taken to understand queer history within the context of its time.
When looking at queer history online, there is a *lot* of misinformation and misidentification out there simply because people are eager to apply modern queerness to history, often in places where it doesn't belong.
A lot of old photos get misidentified as gay because they show two people of the same sex showing some level of physical affection towards each other. Okay, I'll admit that the open-mouth kissing photobooth pictures are probably actually gay, but an old picture of two men or two women holding hands or with their arms around each other, or even kissing on the cheek, were common shows of platonic affection.
I hate to break everyone's gay little hearts, but without explicit documentation saying so, assuming that these couples are all gay is putting modern queer identity in places where it simply didn't exist. The women in the final picture are sisters. The "not married" boys are bachelors interested in marrying women.
In the silent film Wings, the emotional climax of the film comes in the form of a kiss exchanged between the characters played by Jack Powell and David Armstrong. It often gets attributed as the first gay kiss in cinema history, even on the fucking YouTube clip I found:
youtube
Except it isn't gay. The two men spend the whole film fighting over who gets to be Clara Bow's boyfriend. When Richard Arlen's character is fatally wounded, his dear friend rushes to his side and kisses him goodbye, because in the 1920s, that was considered the ultimate show of friendship. The movie ends with Jack Powell falling in love with Clara Bow.
Similarly, a kiss shared between Lillian and Dorothy Gish in the 1921 movie Orphans of the Storm often gets attributed as being queer, but it wasn't.
They were sisters playing sisters. None of this was considered unusual.
Pooh-poohing on all of these images that so many people on the internet breathlessly and joyously laud as proud gay history isn't fun. It makes me feel like I'm fucking Ben Shapiro. But if misinformation is allowed to flourish, it allows people like Ben Shapiro to come in and make the argument that queerness is a modern invention and queer people didn't exist in the past.
Everyone loves to see queerness represented in history, but the fact is that none of the stuff in this post would have been seen as explicitly gay and thus shouldn't be called gay today. If we are to understand queer history in its fullness and richness, it is absolutely crucial that we get it right. We owe it to our queer ancestors to recognize, honor, and not embellish the actual lives they lived.
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