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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 6 months ago
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When they call you clingy, so you distance yourself | Hyung Line
Warnings: Cursing
Pt2, Pt3 Maknaeline
(X)
BANGCHAN |
You walked into Chan’s studio, quietly shutting the door behind you, as to not startle him.
“Hey Chris, can we talk for a second?”
You watched as your boyfriend of a year and a half continued to type away, not acknowledging your question.
“Chris? Did you hear me?”
“Yes I heard you. I just didn't answer."
"Well, it would be nice for a little acknowledgment, I asked if we could talk." You state politely. You understood that Chan was stressed, but you believed it was basic courtesy to at least acknowledge someone - let alone your significant other - when they asked you a question.
"Well, I'm kind of busy at the moment."
"I understand it will only take two minutes ba-"
“Dammit Y/N! I'm busy right now can't you see?" He snaps. Turning towards you and showing you the screen of his laptop.
You open your mouth to speak and tell him just why you needed to talk to him at this very second but he interrupted you.
"When we first started dating, I get that you told me you were clingy. I also get that I told you I liked clingy. But my god, Y/N you're not just clingy you're fucking obsessive. And always at the wrong times! You want space when I actually have time. Yet you decide to stroll in here trying to start a damn conversation when you can clearly see I'm trying to play damage control from a fucking dumbass trainee thinking it was funny to mess with my tracks. I'm already stressed as fuck about that, yet I have you breathing down my neck like some obsessive stalker. Like for five minutes just leave me alone!"
You stiffened at Chan’s tone. It was very rare that Chan would ever raise his voice. He managed his frustrations very well and was aware of how sensitive you were so he was always careful about confrontation.
He turned around and had his back hunched over his laptop as he typed and clicked away furiously, unaware of the tears that were quickly springing to your eyes. You were frozen in place, your heart beating uncontrollably.
It took a minute before you were even able to take a breath.
You stood there long enough for Felix to come bursting through the door to come update Chan about something unimportant to the task at hand. The same task that he had snapped at you for interrupting.
And you think that what hurt most. The way the frown on his face was lessened when talking to the younger male and his cute chuckle even popped out once or twice.
You finally were able to pull yourself out of the studio, leaving behind the coat you had absentmindedly placed down out of habit when you had come in and opted to take your purse.
The air was brisk and had that dry smell it always gained before it snowed.
Your apartment was close to the studio, a 25-minute walk at most so you always opted to take a stroll when visiting Chan, but you were on a tight schedule so within a minute you were in a taxi heading home.
And just as quickly you were back in a taxi heading to the airport.
You knew it was petty of you to mute Chris's notifications. But the fact that he snapped at you was just the tip of the iceberg. You knew that once he calmed down, he would immediately be filled with guilt. And you would rather not have your phone being blown up by multiple people at once.
Are you headed to the airport?
You responded to your brother's message with a thumbs up and turned on your DND before the screen darkened with a click.
You glanced at your watch and sighed.
You'd be on a plane heading home in less than an hour and weren't even able to kiss Chris goodbye.
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MINHO |
"You're clingy as hell." Minho mumbled under his breath, thinking you wouldn't hear. But oh did you hear.
"Lee Minho what did you just say?"
He let out a sharp breath and looked up from his phone. "I called you clingy." He stated boldly, his voice even yet loud enough to be heard by Hyunjin and Han who quickly scurried away to the other half of the suite.
"And what about me is so clingy?"
Minho chuckled sarcastically. "Oh I don't Y/N, do you want me to recap the entire day for you?"
You had joined the kids on their trip to Paris. While they had been here numerous times, this was your first time traveling here and due to the anxiety of being in a new place, you attached yourself to Minho's hip since it was your first day here.
You didn't intend to be overbearing, nor did you intend to be up his ass for the entire week and a half long trip, but you wanted to get used to the surroundings and you felt most comfortable doing that with your boyfriend. Yesterday being your first day you spent the entirety of it with Minho. You had noticed quickly how his excitement had turned into unease and straight up irritation after a while. It was a weird phase of emotions considering how happy he had been but you had amounted it to you accidentally taking a wrong turn and missing a fireworks show Minho had been talking about all day. You had come into his room early this morning to apologize, but instead were meant by an overly irritable boyfriend.
"It's because I've never been here before! Did you expect me to not to ask you to show me around?"
"Y/N there is a difference between a tour guide and a fucking babysitter. You pulled me along to everywhere you wanted to go. I had plans yesterday! Certain things that I was hoping to do. I made an entire schedule and everything, but just because you wouldn't agree to be toured around the city by Chan you ruined all of that. Then you spent the entire day just pulling me along. If you wanted someone to give you an overly extensive run down of everything and keep you company, why don't you ask someone closer to your personality like Jisung or Jeongin? I'm sure they'd love talking of the ears of all the local with you. Shit, you'd probably become some street show you three."
You sucked in your cheeks and took a breath.
"That was uncalled for, you have no need to bring anyone else into this discussion."
Minho chuckled sarcastically.
"Discussion? What is there to discuss? The amount of time I want you to leave me alone? Hell, why not the entire fucking trip?" He spat out.
"You're an ass Minho."
"Yeah well at least I'm not a pain in someone else's."
You felt your bottom lip start to tremble and your chin shake.
Don't cry. You'll just be a crybaby.
"And here come the water works." He groans as if he read your mind, getting up from his bed and heading towards the room where the rest of the guys were probably trying to keep occupied as to not hear your arguing.
"So what? You're just gonna walk away?" You call out.
"YOU'RE PROVING MY FUCKING POINT!" He shouted, finally at his breaking point. "It was a mistake asking you to come on this trip." He said turning around one final time and opening the door to the other side of the suite. "I never should have asked."
"Well you know what, maybe this trip isn't the only thing you should have never asked about. And I'm starting to realize that maybe it's not the only thing I never should have said yes to." You spit out turning on your heel and slamming the door.
You furiously wiped at the tears that were sticking to your face and threw your hood up over your head as you headed to your room to contemplate what would become of you two now.
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CHANGBIN |
It was irritating to you the way Changbin was interacting with the female barista. And the irritation must have shown on your face because when he handed you your iced latte, he raised an eyebrow.
"Is everything okay jagiya?"
You sighed as you guys stepped out the shop and started making your way back towards the studio. Changbin had been really busy the last couple of weeks with preparing for a special release and collabing with a few other groups, so you hadn't been able to be around your boyfriend as often as you'd like. So you had agreed on meeting during his lunch every other day, even if the times varied.
"You just seemed really flirty with that barista." You mumbled. "It was obvious she was into you too. I mean who wouldn't you're the Seo Changbin." You giggled elbowing him playfully. You pulled out your phone to make sure there was enough time for you to walk Changbin back or if you would have to take an Uber. You nodded at the time and swiped away a few notifications from Minho.
You expected Changbin to laugh or reassure you like he usually did when you brought up his flirty habits. Instead he snorted into his cup as he took a sip of the dark liquid.
"Jealous much?"
You laughed a little. "Why would I be jealous? She isn't the one who has been dating you for three years." You said hip bumping him, but he stepped away from you rather brashly.
"Well it seems like you are because you have to bring up me and my so called flirting ever single time I talk to anyone of the female species."
"Bin it was just a joke-"
"Well I'm not joking when I say you're acting clingy as fuck." His tone was way off and he seemed to realize the shit he was setting himself up to be put in because he stopped mid stride and turned around to you with an agitated sigh.
"Do you...I don't know want to run that by me again?" You ask, firming your stance.
"God, Y/N, don't make this a big thing. Its just been a day-"
"No, no. You don't get to use that excuse Changbin. We're supposed to talk through these things. You don't just get to say something like that and then act like you didn't."
You guys stood at an impasse for a moment until he spoke up rolling his eyes.
"Fine. I think you're being clingy." He said simple. "Jealousy falls under clinginess and I think you're being jealous so therefore you are being clingy."
"Changbin it was a fucking joke! You've never reacted this way before so I don't know why you're acting this way now!"
Changbin just rolled his eyes and continued in the direction of the studio.
"Seo Changbin, where are you going?"
"To work Y/N. You know, maybe if you actually picked up a more stable job then you wouldn't have as much time to be up my ass and exaggerating about things that aren't things you should be butt hurt about."
You stiffened at Changbin's low blow and took a breath.
"We need to fix this before it gets out of hand." You grit out.
"Well maybe I don't want to fix this." He looked at his watch. "I'm late now so why don't you just drink your latte and go home to cool off."
The condescending voice Changbin was using sent you over the edge. You were angry to the point of tears.
You chucked your nearly full iced latte at him. It hit his chest with a thud, and the coffee made a rather pretty pattern on his pristine white shirt.
"Maybe that'll help you cool yourself off. Fuck you Changbin." You pushed past him and waved down the closest taxi.
Your phone was buzzing in your pocket and you pulled it out.
"Hey, are you and Changbin on your way back? I need to go over some choreography and we're filming tiktoks right when he gets back."
You did the best you could to keep your voice level when responding to Minho.
"He's on his way back now. But you need to get him a new shirt because being the dumbass he is he likes to make a mess of perfectly good things."
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HYUNJIN|
You were never very happy having to attend events with Hyunjin. It wasn't that you didn't like spending time with him, or in turn spending time with the guys events.
It was just you felt insecure being the plus one of someone like Hyunjin.
It was no secret to anyone how those who knew and perceived Hwang Hyunjin's existence thought of him.
He had a beauty that rivaled any masterpiece that had ever been painted. The elegance of a tiger lily with the face of an angel.
You knew of many people who would jump at the opportunity to be with Hyunjin. For the past 11 months you had been with him you had your fair share of run ins with crazy fans or pop stars of the like.
Once your relationship had gone public a month ago you found yourself being compared to the female idols in the industry even more than you has expected.
It seemed to be the general consensus that not many people viewed you as "beautiful enough" to be with someone like Hyunjin.
You didn't take it to heart because you decided to have the outlook of nobody being beautiful enough for Hyunjin - let alone the people writing those hateful comments considering they were most likely delusional pre-teens who made the most out of pocket edits and were in desperate need of some grass groping.
But after a month it was starting to get to you slightly. Especially as you had come across one of those edits, since you had been tagged in it after someone found your personal account.
The amount of hate messages were starting to get to change your perception on things. Because the more you were hearing it the more you were seeing and believeing it.
"Jinnie do you think that my shoulders look weird in this dress?" You walked into your living room where Hyunjin was sitting. He looked up and a bright smile showed on his face.
"I think you look beautiful jagiya!" He said standing up. He looked other worldly in his tuxedo.
"And my hair?"
"Perfect." He said placing a kiss on your forehead. "We have to leave now if we want to make it on time. Or else I would look at you all night."
By the time you had been at the event for thirty minutes you already wanted to go home. You felt like the ugliest person there, and you couldn't help but feel the eyes of many people on you.
Ever couple of minutes you found yourself looking for Hyunjin's reassurance.
"Does my stomach look bloated?"
"Is my makeup fine?"
"Can you see the pimple on my chin?"
"Are my nails okay?"
"Do I look ugly?"
"Should I make my hair look like hers next time?
Hyunjin was reassuring you, but after the third or fourth questioning of the night his answers became generic.
When he was talking to an idol and his significant other you couldn't help but start comparing yourself to her. She was so pretty.
"Hyunjin should I run home and change?" You asked quietly in English. You were doing your best to learn Korean so it would be easier to communicate with Hyunjin's parents when the time came that your families were to get closer. You wanted it to be a surprise when the time came, because you knew how much Hyunjin wanted you to get along with his family, when when the time came to meet them - he wanted to get along with your family.
"You're girlfriend is pretty clingy isn't she?" The other idol asked in his native language, assuming you didn't speak korean because of your fluency in english.
"Yeah she is extremely clingy." Hyunjin replied. "Might be the clingiest girl I've ever met."
You looked at the other idols girlfriend and she made a face, and then laughed.
"You can tell she is a foreigner by the way she acts. No one is ever as clingy as foreign partners." She joked and all three of them were laughing.
Well there is the hundredth insecurity to list.
You looked at them and tried to control your facial expressions.
"We were just telling him that you are so adorable." The girl told you.
You chuckled uncomfortably and looked over at Hyunjin. He smiled and blinked cutely at you.
You smiled back as Hyunjin turned towards the couple again to continue his conversation.
And all you could do was smile back as you pretended to not understand the words Hyunjin didn’t even realize hurt you.
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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 6 months ago
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When they call you clingy, so you distance yourself | Hyung Line Pt. 2
Warnings: Cursing
Pt1, Pt3 Maknaeline
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BANGCHAN|
Chris groaned and put his head into his hands. He stared at the the screen in front of him.
8:28
He had decided to make today an early morning so he could call it an early night, but he wasn't even able to work on what he had actually intended to do because a trainee's mistake. Although he was heated in the moment he had apologized when he had run into the frightened guy in the canteen. It was an honest mistake when laptops looked exactly the same.
He had also realized that he was heated in the moment when you had come to visit him.
His fingers itched to text you an apology but he knew this was something that he needed to apologize for in person. So he shut his laptop and tucked it into his bag and decided to head home rather than starting a new project.
It was eating at his consciousness, the way he brushed you off so easily earlier just because of stress that had nothing to do with you. He reached over the couch in his studio to flick off the light.
A soft ruffling of fabric startled him slightly and he looked down to see your black coat draped over the couch of the same color.
"Its freezing." He mumbled grabbing it and quickly heading out of the building.
I was such a dick. She was so distraught she walked home in this weather without a coat.
Chris drove over to your apartment and parked haphazardly on the street. It wasn't the safest neighborhood, and a small part of him was worried about having something happen to his car, but he couldn't focus on that when he needed to focus on fixing things with you.
He pulled out his keys and found the small silver spare to your apartment.
"Baby?" Chris called out. He slipped off his shoes and he walked from the foyer into your kitchen, his black socks slipping a little on your freshly swept floors.
"Y/N?" Chris called out, flipping the light on in the kitchen. The box of trash bags was sitting on the counter and he placed them back under the sink. "Baby?"
Something was off. Chris felt it in his bones. He tried to steady his heart. Maybe you were asleep? If it wasn't to him, you tended to turn to your bed for comfort when you were sad.
He reached for your door handle out of habit of strolling into the guys room but paused to knock.
"Love?" He called out. He knocked for another minute or two, before turning the handle softly in case you were sleeping. "Baby, I don't know if your asleep but I'm coming in okay?"
Your room was empty, and the fairy lights you always kept on were off.
He flipped on the light and he felt his heart sink to his feet.
He immediately rushed out of your room and started looking through the cabinets and drawers and nooks and crannys of every other space.
Your apartment was bare minus the essentials.
In your guest room you had boxes neatly stacked in various places.
Chris felt tears crawl at his throat.
"Baby?" He tried calling out again. "Y/N this isn't funny! Say something!" He cried out.
He fumbled to grab his phone from his pocket.
His fingers shook as he called you.
The number you have dialed cannot be reached.
"No," He mumbled.
The number you have dialed cannot be reached.
The number you have dialed cannot be reached.
"No," Chris mumbled. "No," He said again.
He felt his heart jump through his throat and he couldn't breathe.
His hands were shaking as he dialed up another number.
"Oi, Chris you coming home soon-"
"Fe-Felix." He choked out. He couldn't even continue without hyperventilating. "Fe-Felix I-I can't breathe. I-I can't-"
"I'm coming to you alright? I have your location I'll be there okay? Okay just try and calm down okay? I'll be there soon." Chris could hear the jingling of keys and the slamming of the door and Minho's voice in the background as Felix panted running to the car. "Stay on the phone Channie-hyung okay, I'll be right there."
"I-I can't breathe." He cried out.
"It'll be okay, I'll be right there hyung." Felix slammed his fist down on his car horn and yelled a string of profanities as another car blared their horn in the distance as well.
By the time Felix had arrived at your house Chris was an absolute mess.
Felix was instantly able to tell what was wrong with Chan when he saw the boxes and Chan desperately trying to unpack them.
"Hey-hey Chris calm down." Felix said as he grabbed onto his hyung's shoulders.
"S-She's leaving me." He cried out. "Felix, she's leaving me. She can't leave me. My heart -my heart can't take it. I don't want-want her to leave m-me."
Felix didn't know what to do as he watched his best friend completely shatter in front of him.
"Hyung I'm sure she is-"
"I-I called her clingy. I told her to leave me alone. I don't want to be alone." He whimpered. "I didn't mean it Felix. I didn't m-mean it." He whimpered his voice cracking. "I-I was stressed and-and I yelled- I called her ob-obsess- Felix, she can't leave me. I don't want to be alone."
Felix pulled out his phone and dialed your number. "Hyung calm down I'm sure she's just angry at the moment, it'll blow over. It'll blow over." He repeated as if convincing himself as well. He chewed on the edge of his thumbnail as your phone rang. Chris was collapsed on his and Felix pet his hair.
The number you have dialed cannot be reached.
Felix looked at the broken man in front of him and swallowed.
"It'll be fine. Y/N wouldn't break up with you over something like that, right?"
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MINHO|
"Do you really think it was necessary to yell at her?" Changbin asked as the guys were walking through the market. You had opted not to join and rather hang out with some of the girls from TWICE who were also in Paris for the same event the Kids had came for. The only problem was you had opted to do that for the entire week. You all were flying home tomorrow and Minho hadn't seen more than a glimpse of you other than a few pictures the girls had posted on their fake accounts, and the few pictures you had posted on your private account.
"Why would it not be necessary?" Minho asked.
"Because you're pissed at something that wasn't even her fault." The shorter male said and he picked up a random little trinket to look at, it was a little heavy so he used it as a makeshift dumbell for a second.
"Ya, she quite literally ruined my entire plan."
Changbin looked at Minho like he had grown a second head. "How the hell was she supposed to know you were trying to propose to her?!"
Minho pursed his lips and turned away and started walking.
Changbin moved his tiny legs to catch up with the cat eyed member.
Felix crossed paths with them and joined the conversation.
"Minho-Hyung you've been miserable all week. Just swallow your pride and apologize."
"I have nothing to apologize fo-"
"Ya! No offense Hyung but you're being a fucking idiot!" Felix said. The two Hyungs of Felix recoiled and looked at the sunshiny Aussie. "Sorry for my tone Hyung but it's true. All she wanted to do was spend time with you because she loves you. And to her it seems like you got upset because you didn't to spend time with you. And you got upset with her because you planned a super elaborate and flamboyant proposal because you love her and you weren't able to execute it. So basically, you are both pissed at each other because you love each other more than anything in this world. So tell me how that makes sense at all?"
Changbin nodded. "He's not wrong at all you're kind of an idiot."
Minho sighed and pouted.
"Which means you need to be the one to apologize because Y/N-ie actually has reason to be mad."
Minho's pout became even more noticeable.
Ugh...apologizing.
Felix seemed to read his elder's mind.
"Its either apologize or ruin your relationship. While it is super easy to replan a propsal, it sure as hell won't be able to replan your future if she walks out on you."
Minho felt that hit his heart hard, but still wanted to be stubborn. "What do you mean easy to replan a proposal? I spent months planning the one I intended to do."
Changbin rolled his eyes. "Ya! Y/N might be your girlfriend but you seem to forget she was all of our friend first. And I sure as hell know she would not care how you proposed to her. Even if you just did it the traditional and plain way of getting down on one knee and saying 'Y/N...will you marry me?" Changbin said mimicking Minho's voice.
Felix shook his head. "No it'd be more like 'Y/N marry me. You have no choice."
"No- 'Y/N, my cats need a mom. You are now their mom.'"
"'Y/N, our wedding is next Friday. Don't be late. Wear white." The happy boy mimicked with a deadpan face.
Changbin and Felix's antics were the thing that made Minho laugh all week. And the levity he felt now was what he felt with you always. And that made the absence of you hit him even harder.
"Can we go back to the hotel? I want- no I need to apologize." He said suddenly.
Changbin sputtered. "Never thought I'd hear that come out of your mouth ever."
Minho playfully shoved Changbin into Felix as they headed back in the direction of the hotel.
"So how do you think you'll propos-"
"Minho-ssi!" The guys stopped and they noticed Chaeyoung running towards them.
Minho felt his heart dip for a second. "What is it?"
"I-I went to get Y/N-ie for a girls night out but she wasn't in her room so I figured maybe she just stepped out to the convenience store with Tzuyu or Momo but she wasn't with them when they came back and Tzuyu said the last time she saw her was this morning after we had brunch." Chaeyoung tried to steady her voice. "And I called her but my calls aren't going throu-"
Minho didn't give Chaeyoung time to finish before he started running.
He didn't know where he was going, he didn't even really know where to find you.
All he knew is that he had to.
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CHANGBIN|
"Y/N." Changbin said. "Jagiya!" You ignored Changbin as you walked into your apartment.
He followed ensuite and was pouting. "Jagiya please talk to me. It's been three weeks."
"Mmmm. Nah. I don't feel like being clingy today." You said as you set your purse down and headed towards your bedroom.
"C'mon please? It was a stupid argument. I'm sorry. I was just upset."
"Hmm. And I'm upset right now too." You said as you started digging through your closest. You pulled out a cute yet sleek dress.
The same dress you had worn on your first date with Changbin oh so long ago.
"Babe?" Changbin asked as he saw you rummage through things on your vanity.
"Red or Pink?" You asked allowed. "Or I guess the question is should I do a matte red or a glossy red?" You turned to Changbin and gave an innocent look at him. "I don't know which one makes me look better."
"Stop that! Thats not funny. At all." Changbin said as he followed you into the bathroom. He stayed planted in the same spot even as you changed, shutting his eyes respectfully until you finished changing.
"Where are you going? Why are you getting dressed up."
You pulled your hair out of the braided updo you had it in and let it fall over your shoulders in a beautiful mix of loose curls and evem looser waves.
Changbin couldn't help but admire just how beautiful you looked right now. Matter of fact you always looked beautiful, but Changbin couldn't help but stare. Since this was the longest he had seen you in the past three weeks.
And seeing you get ready and dolled up worried him. It sparked a jealousy in him that he found himself all too familiar with these past few weeks. It was partly the reason he had snapped at you in the first place.
He had thought it was just a stupid argument but right now it seemed like it was so much more than that.
And it was slowly killing him. Had he really hurt you that bad?
"Jagiya where are you going?"
You ignored Changbin as you touched up your makeup slightly, wiping off the clear gloss you had and favoring a glossy red lip instead. You grabbed your favorite perfume - and Changbin's favorite on you - and sprayed it delicately over yourself.
You looked at your watch and looked up at Changbin. "I have to go I'm meeting someone at five."
You grabbed your purse and Changbin grabbed your wrist.
"W-What do you mean you're meeting someone?" You snatched your wrist away from him gently and made your way towards your car.
"W-Wait Y/N it's not a date is it? You're not going on a date? Wait please tell me you aren't."
"Changbin I have to go. It would be a bad first impression if I was late."
"Can you please at least tell me where you are going?"
You huffed. "I'm going to that one coffee shop next to the karaoke bar? The one we always used to go to when you had first asked me out." You said as you were strapping on a pair of heels.
Changbin felt like his world was collapsing.
"No. We aren't breaking up you're not allowed to do that."
You looked at Changbin with a confused - what the fuck are you on - type look.
"Changbin you realize people have the free will to do whatever they want right? Thats like me telling you you're not allowed to go to the gym anymore."
"You're not breaking up with me Y/N." He said his voice starting to waver. "You can't."
"Yup, Bin." You said as you opened the door and walked to your car. "Lock the door behind you, would ya?" You called out over your shoulder.
The muscular man quickly locked your door and came to the drivers side.
"Y/N," He said tapping on your window.
"Changbin can you make this quick? Like I said being late is a bad first impression."
"Who cares about first impressions! Y/N you can't date someone else!" He cries. "It was an argument! Are you really breaking up with me over this-"
"Damn Changbin I'm no-" Your phones started to ring and you answered it.
Changbin pouted at you as you spoke. Trying his best to listen to the conversation.
"Hello..." Why'd she say hello like that? So nicely... "Yes, I'm on my way right now just leaving my house..." She's already on the stage of letting him know her whereabouts? "Haha no no of course not...yeah....haha!" What could he possibly be saying to make her laugh that much? Only I can make her laugh like that...well I guess Jisung too but mainly me! "Uh I'll just get an iced vanilla latte with all my modifications- just ask Jiwon she'll know...." They have mutuals? "Yeah I'll be there soon....Yep! Can't wait to meet you either...mkay bye!"
Changbin felt his heart constrict as he watched you hang up and start your car.
You gave Changbin a small wave and pulled off, your tires screeching a little as you drove.
He quickly went to follow you. You wouldn't leave him. He wouldn't let you. Because you meant the world to him.
And without his world he would be nothing.
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HYUNJIN|
It had been a few days since Hyunjin had felt like he had spent time with you.
Because while you had been in his presence physically he felt like you had something on your mind.
You weren't all up on him like you usually were. And he missed that. He also missed you asking him if he liked your outfits. He missed the little twirl you would do asking if you looked okay; he missed being able to look at you lovingly while you did so; he missed being able to wait a little bit before he could comment how striking you looked; that little pause in time just to assure that he would be the one who could see you in that specific outfit longer than anyone else you would run into or hang out with, even if it was mere seconds more.
The way every part of you took up every aspect of his life was something he was so used to that he longed for it when he couldn't have it.
And for the past eleven days he longed for it.
So bad.
He missed you.
"Do you think I did something wrong?" Hyunjin asked Jisung as they sat down enjoying a cup of coffee together.
"I'm assuming so because she's treating me just fine. We actually just went to the movies the other day. Some random guy tried to hit on her and she made a comment about his hairline and how it showed his age and that shut him down real quick. It was actually fucking hilarious the way-"
"Did she say anything about me upsetting her?" Hyunjin asked, interuppting Jisung's tangent about his trip with the most loved girl of the band.
"Mm...now that I think about it, she made a comment about some other idol. I forget who she was talking about but I remembered her saying you were talking to them because she was just standing there waiting for you to finish and thats why she decided to drink that one drink. Because she didn't want to...how did she put it...look pathetic? Yeah, I think thats what she said. And she said it was no use because she looked pathetic throwing up all over Bangchan." He took a sip of his coffee. "I actually thought it was funny because Chan was saying he was trying to find an excuse to not have to wear that one suit jacket anymore because it was-"
"Jisung you're getting off topic." Hyunjin sighed. "Did she seem upset when she said that?"
Jisung shook his head. "I wouldn't say she seemed upset when she was talking about finding a use for her hands. I think she looked...off afterwards though. Especially whenever your name came up in ocnversation." He looked at Hyunjin pointedly. "But that wasn't that often. She may be your girlfriend but she is my soulmate so we have our own issues to discuss." He said taking another sip of his coffee. "Like all the drama in Hybe right now. Did you see- wait I'm getting off topic."
Hyunjin frowned. "So it was something I did..." He mumbled.
Jisung sniffed once. "Yeah probably." He said scratching his ear. "I can ask her if you'd like me to."
"No I thinks it okay, I'll find time to talk to her."
"Well they say there is no better time than the present because look who just walked in." The chubby cheeked boy nodded his head somewhere behind Hyunjin.
He turned around and saw you walking in with Felix. You walked up to the counter but didn't notice Hyunjin or Jisung sitting there.
Felix greeted the barista and ordered himself a drink while you looked at the menu.
Hyunjin felt the tiniest - the most miniscule pang of jealousy but it was quickly washed away because he knew that you only had eyes for him. You guys hadn't celebrated your first anniversary yet - it was in four days -but he knew just how much you loved him and he loved you.
And just that - he knew how in love you were with each other.
And thats why it hurt him so much to think he had hurt you.
Felix finished ordering and turned to you. Hyunjin had expected you to tell him your order and for Felix to relay it back to the barista but instead you spoke in Korean - hesitantly - but still with an immense amount of effort and obvious intermediate skill.
Felix corrected you on a couple of words, but after a few motivational words from the barista - words you obviously understood - you shined a bright smile and laughed.
"Y/N doesn't speak Korean." Hyunjin turned to Jisung, and the small quokka like boy pouted slightly. "Jisung."
"I walked in on Y/N-ie and Felix-" He blurted out. "God, I've been keeping that secret so long." He let out a breath and looked at Hyunjin's shocked face.
"Walked...in...?"
Jisung put a hand to his forehead. "Sorry I didn't finish my thought. I meant that I like...walked in on them while he was giving her secret korean lessons." He said wiggling his eyebrows.
"Jisung you're not helping my paranoia."
"I was wiggling my eyebrows because of the reason. She said she wanted to learn Korean so when it came time to meet your family she would be able to communicate well with them. It seems like she's actually pretty damn good at it too. Shes a fast learner according to Felix."
Hyunjin groaned. "She's so fucking cute but of all people in our groups she decided to get lessons from Lix? Did she never watch the survival show." He chuckled.
"Yeah...I guess that means I can tell you the actual reason she's upset with you now right?" Jisung said.
Hyunjin's head shot up and he looked at the younger boy expectantly.
"She overheard you calling her clingy. With the idol and his girlfriend..." He looked down and his voice dropped a little. "Its been eating at her a lot. Especially the girl's comment about foreigners and stuff. She was a total bitch for saying that because now it's been making her rethink everything. Because she seems to be convinced that it would be best for your reputation and your future if she ended things with you."
Hyunjin felt his throat constrict slightly. "S-she didn't mean that. She doesn't mean that. She can't."
Jisung hmmed in acknowledgment. "Hyung...she has it rough you know? The pedestal people in our industry put you on - and even in other industries and other countries -is the pedestal you're put on by the same people she consistently is surrounded by when accompanying you. The same people who write all those hateful comments about her on your posts and send even more hateful comments to her private account."
Hyunjin's eyes widened, and his fingers twitched slightly. "What comments? She hasn't told me about any...hate...comments..."
Jisung sighed. "She doesn't want to worry you. And I think she believes those comments too...she can't think of anything else to believe."
Hyunjin felt a knot place itself in his throat to stay as he walked you watch out the coffee shop with Felix trailing you. The thought of your insecurities bothered him immensely. The thought of you thinking you weren't worthy of him when it was the complete opposite; when it was him who wasn't worthy of you. He wished you could see yourself the way he saw you.
And he wished you believed him when he said all the things said.
Believe me when I call you beautiful. When I say I love you...
And if you don't want to in me...
Believe in us.
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