#the fact that joe fell in love with HIMSELF this season

[morningstargirl666]

Joe and Rhys got their happily ever after as murder boyfriends, while Kate stayed the bad ass third wheel-

no, I’m not in denial what are you talking about-

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: Simply Shady I*

Summary: The following events of Joe changing up his hair, along with both you and your fiance gearing up for the start of the season.

(Part 1 to - Part 2)

Warnings: Fluff, Smut (male receiving oral)

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Misc.

August 1st, 2024 - First day of pads at camp

I was woken up in a way that I would usually love, but the fact that it was insanely early made me more annoyed than anything.

“Mph. Not now Joe.” - you mumbled

He didn't say anything in return, and the slow movements of his hips grinding into my behind kept going.

Joe’s body was pressed flesh against me. His chest to my back and his crotch to my ass. Because he was rubbing himself into me, I thought he was awake. But as I froze up in shock, I heard a snore leave Joe’s lips.

He's asleep. He’s asleep and grinding into me.

As Joe continued his movements in his sleep, my mind went wild. Throughout the dirty thoughts, I remembered a conversation that Joe and I had a couple of weeks ago.

Joe had asked me if I'd ever give him head while he was asleep, a different way to wake him up if I was comfortable doing it. I had said yes, that I would, but there was never a day where I woke up first since that conversation.

Today, though, was a perfect chance to try it out.

After deciding that I was going to suck him off while he was still sleeping, I slowly and quietly scooted away from him. Joe had always been a deep sleeper, so it was easy for me to pull the covers off of him and lightly shove him onto his back.

I couldn't help but sit there and admire him. Joe looked like a wet dream, and he was all mine. My personal 220 pounds of pure sexiness.

Joe was wearing nothing but his black boxers, and my mouth watered as I stared at his toned torso, sculpted chest, and perfect arms.

This off-season, one of Joe’s workout priorities was to gain weight to be bigger and stronger by the time football season came around.

He achieved that completely, and the outcome was one of the hottest states of his body that I had ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, as his partner, I've never not thought he was the most attractive man on the planet, but I love it when he beefs up.

I believe it’s because it reminds me of how he looked when I first fell in love with him, back when we were both freshmen at LSU.

——

Flashback - 2018 - LSU

“This date is awful! Please, please, please come pick me up?” - Lyla

After accepting a phone call from my best friend, she enlightened me that she was currently in the bathroom of the restaurant where she was on a date. She went on to say that her date was a weirdo and nothing like how he was over texts.

It was later in the evening, and I was studying in the library for my first big test of the semester, but I had to save my girl.

Still on the phone with her, I grabbed my laptop and textbooks super fast before darting out of the library.

Lyla was still ranting on the phone, telling me to please hurry, and I was focusing hard on not dropping my belongings. As I rounded the corner of the sidewalk, I looked over at the parking lot, trying to remember where I parked my car.

Since my eyes weren't on where I was walking, I gasped when I smacked into a hard body, dropping everything I was holding and my phone.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

“No. No. I should be.” - you

I immediately lept down and started to grab my things, not paying attention to the person that I just ran into. It sounded like a man, and I didn't exactly have time to put up with a college male right now.

To my surprise, though, he crouched down as well, stacking up some of my books as I focused on making sure my laptop screen wasn't broken.

After seeing that it was fine, I finally looked up at the man crouched down next to me who was holding my stuff.

My mouth dropped open, and my eyes widened.

Joe Burrow.

He was the starting quarterback for the football team, and because he had just transferred from Ohio State, his name was known.

I had only seen a couple of blurry pictures of him before as I listened to a couple of my guy friends rant about the incoming QB. In pictures, I wasn't exactly attracted to him, but seeing him in front of me right now, I completely understood why girls all around campus were obsessed with him.

“Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.” - Joe chuckled

My cheeks turned red when I realized I had zoned out staring at him. This cannot be happening right now.

“I- I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting you.” - you

Joe cocked his head to the side, not exactly understanding. To him, he was a normal guy who just loved to play football. He didn't exactly love all of the publicity.

In the end, he shrugged and looked down at my books that were in his hands. Most of them were for classes, but a couple were for my personal reading.

“In Plain Sight? Do you believe in aliens?” - Joe

I nodded my head with a soft smile on my face, completely in shock that I was talking about aliens with Joe Burrow.

“That’s cool. I do, too. My friends all say that I'm crazy to believe in them. Oh, I’m Joe, by the way.” - Joe

Joe shifted my belongings into one arm before reaching out with his now free hand. I reached out, too, putting my hand in his and shaking it.

“I know who you are. I'm y/n.” - you

“That’s a pretty name. Only fitting for a pretty girl, though.” - Joe winked

My stomach dropped, and reality hit. He’s a jock college football player. Only one thing on his mind.

I stood up and recollected everything into my arms, and Joe immediately noticed my change in body language. When he handed me my books, I noticed that the pretty smile had dropped from his face, a disconcerted look left in its place.

“Did I say something wrong?” - Joe

“No. I just need to get out of here. Thanks for the help, it was lovely to meet you, Joe.” - you

I started speeding down the sidewalk once again, but Joe called out for me to wait. Oh, fuck this.

“You forgot your phone!” - Joe

Mentally cursing myself, I turned around and walked back up to Joe. He was fully standing up now, and he towered over me.

“Thanks..” - you

“You’re welcome. Maybe I'll see you around campus?” - Joe grinned

I looked up at the stupid smile on his face and wanted to claw my eyes out. Why is he so cute? He’s just wearing athletic shorts and a Looney Tunes sweatshirt, but he looks perfect.

“Mmm. Probably not. I'm more into school than all of the partying.” - you

“I’m not into partying either. I’m taking all online classes, so unless I'm at football practice or working out, I'm usually at my apartment.” - Joe

Why are his stupidly perfect lips still moving?

“Okay? Thanks again. Bye.” - you

I started walking off again, and this time he didn't stop me. Once I got into my car, I laid my head back against the headrest with a deep sigh. That did not just fucking happen.

Why was he being so oddly persistent?

Probably looking for a quick fuck.

“That’s what they all want.” - you whispered aloud

I was lost in my thoughts. The thoughts being the image of the pretty quarterback crouched down while examining my alien book, the skin at the corner of his eyes crinkling up when he smiled.

God he was so-

My train of thought abruptly stopped when I heard a quiet voice. I looked around, confused, before my eyes landed on my phone. The call with Lyla was very much still going.

I remembered why I was rushing in the first place, and my eyes went wide. After quickly grabbing my phone to my ear, I realized just how crazy I was about to sound.

“Lyla, you will never guess what just happened. It sounds crazy.” - you

“You can tell me after you fucking pick me up!! Come on!” - Lyla

——

Flashback - still 2018 - LSU

“Are you excited to watch your man play?” - Lyla squealed

I rolled my eyes at her words. We were currently sitting down in our seats for the first home game of the season.

My run-in with Joe was months ago, and I hadn’t seen him since then, not like I expected that I would, but Lyla swore up and down he was into me.

She hadn't let the interaction go, and when I perked up at the mention that she had an extra ticket for the game since her boyfriend bailed, it only made it worse.

“You know he's still single. Maybe he's waiting to see you again.” - Lyla bumped your shoulder

I stared at her for a few seconds, narrowing my eyes at her dumb assessment. There was no possible way that was true.

Joe and I were strangers. We only knew each other’s names and the fact that we both believed in aliens. To be frank, he's probably long forgotten about our encounter. There were girls constantly throwing themselves at him, so why would he pay attention to me?

Up til the team ran out, Lyla was talking about nothing but Joe.

“Lyla. He doesn't even know who I am. He's probably long forgotten about bumping into me. Even if I wanted to say something to him, which I don't.” - you

“Sure. We’ll see if that changes after you watch him play. Those football pants might do something to you.” - Lyla

“Stop saying things that make me roll my eyes. I'm gonna get a headache.” - you

“Or… stop fighting the fact that he was into you and one thousand percent recognize you if he saw you again. He called you pretty! And when you freaked out, he immediately got worried that he said something wrong.” - Lyla

Before I could say anything, the team ran out. Lyla immediately jumped up and yanked me up with her. I have to admit, the electricity running through Death Valley as everyone was on their feet cheering was an adrenaline rush. I couldn't help but jump and cheer as well.

My eyes landed on Joe fairly easily as he was leading the pack as QB1. And for a split second, he looked at me too. His eyes were scanning the crowd before looking away, but he did a double-take.

Unfortunately, Lyla noticed and shook my shoulder. We were in the bottom row of our section, so there was a chance he was looking at someone behind me. Right?

-

Joe’s POV - Same flashback

While running out with the team, I looked over at the crowd just to see how big it was. It was my first home game as a Tiger, and Death Valley already felt like home.

As I looked around, my eyes scanned over a familiar face. I looked away and realized, so I did a double take to make sure I wasn't seeing things or my mind was playing tricks on me.

It was her.

My eyes weren't deceiving me. It was y/n. The beautiful girl I had the lovely opportunity of gracing paths with. Quite literally.

When I first bumped into y/n, it felt like everything around me disappeared and that it was just us on that sidewalk, much like how it felt as our eyes met through the crowd.

I only knew this girl's name, but I’ll never forget how I felt crouched down on that sidewalk with her. Everything felt right. Like everything was still and at peace.

I never thought I’d see her again with how quickly she took off running after I called her pretty. Looking back, I could see why it freaked her out. Our personalities were meshing super well before I said that, and I know the reputation of college athletes. She probably thought I was trying to get in her pants, only to be gone by the morning.

I'd never been that kind of guy anyway. I had hooked up with a couple of girls while at Ohio State, but I got attached too easily and could never leave it as just a one-night stand.

Maybe I could talk to y/n more and show her that I wasn't the average college athlete fuckboy. That is if she'd even talk to me or even remember that we'd bumped into each other.

After Game - Same flashback

LSU won the game, and Joe was impressive, to say the least. Lyla nudged me after every good play he made, making sure to call him ‘my man’ when she was talking about him.

Everyone was filing out of the stadium, but Lyla and I stayed back to take a couple of pictures and wait for the crowd to die down.

We had our backs to the field, our noses buried in our phones as we looked at a few selfies we had taken.

“Okay, let me get a good pic of the field.” - Lyla

I wasn't exactly paying attention to her, but I noticed that she had turned around to take a picture of the stadium. When she did, though, she paused and gasped.

“Y/N… turn around.” - you

Sighing as I slipped my phone into my pocket, I turned around. My eyes went wide when I looked down and saw what - or who - was standing on the grass looking up at us.

“Hi.” - Joe smiled

Joe was in regular clothes now since the game had been over for about thirty minutes. He was all that was left on the field other than the training staff cleaning up and a few janitors.

“Hi?” - you smiled back

“Did you enjoy that game? I know you said you don't go out, so this must be a different environment for you.” - Joe

“It was so fun. You're crazy good, by the way. I'm impressed.” - you

Joe felt his cheeks heat up a little at the compliment, and it didn't go unnoticed by me. I saw the way his face turned a little pink.

“Thank you. It was awesome to see your pretty face again. That might be your queue to runaway, but that's how I feel.” - Joe smiled

My stomach filled with butterflies at him calling me pretty again, along with a feeling of slight embarrassment from his joke. Something about him making light of the situation gave me closure, though. He wasn't looking for a hookup.

“You’re pretty good-looking yourself.” - you grinned

“I’m glad you think so, y/n. But I didn't just walk over here to call you pretty again. I wanted to know if you'd like to have dinner with me tonight. I’d love to get to know you.” - Joe

I looked at Joe’s gorgeous face in shock before looking over at Lyla. She nodded and bumped my elbow with hers.

“I can get home just fine by myself. You get him, tiger.” - Lyle whispered

Looking back down at Joe, he looked up at me with hopeful eyes. His gaze shifted to Lyla, trying to read her expression before looking back at me.

“Sure. I'd love to have dinner tonight.” - you

Joe’s anxious expression broke into a huge smile, the nervous feeling in his stomach immediately going away. You said yes.

“Okay, great. Can I get your number? You know, so I can text you when I'm pulling around to pick you up.” - Joe

I nodded my head, the smile never leaving my face, and handed Joe my phone for him to put his number in. Once he was done, he handed me his phone to do the same.

After handing his phone back to him, Joe nervously rocked back and forth on his feet. Saying he was giddy was an understatement.

“So I’ll see you in a little bit?” - you

“Yup. It’s a date.” - Joe smiled

As soon as the words left his lips, he spun on the balls of his heels and walked back toward the tunnel. I slowly turned my head to Lyla, my eyes wide, and my jaw dropped.

“That did not just happen.” - you

“Oh, it so did! And he walked over to you. He initiated all of that. Not to mention, he just said that dinner with him tonight was a date. Y/N, that's your man!!” - Lyla

We both grabbed each other’s forearms, jumping up and down and giggling at the fact that Joe, a desirable starting college quarterback, just asked me on a date. Out of all of the girls who wanted him, Joe chose me, the girl he bumped into once.

——

Back to present day

Obviously, the first date went amazingly, and Joe and I have been together ever since. Joe always says that he knew I was the one when he first laid eyes on me, and the fact that his body immediately relaxed on that sidewalk was a sign of things to come. I was home to Joe, sometimes described as his everything.

Since the moment Joe and I started to get to know each other, he became my best friend. Well, I’d say that to everyone but Lyla. She would get a little salty if I told her that.

I remember thinking that Joe was cute the first time we crossed paths, but when he ran out of the tunnel that day, and we made eye contact, my insides melted. No other guy I had been with before was able to make me feel the way he did in that second.

Call it love at second sight.

For the rest of Joe’s time at LSU, before he graduated, we were stuck to each other at the hip, completely and utterly inseparable.

We had to do long distance for a year because I was still at LSU, and Joe got drafted by the Bengals. It was arguably the hardest year of my life.

As soon as Joe entered my life, he became the anchor that kept me grounded. I’d never been happier with someone, and we were together practically every moment that we could. So, to be living in completely different states was tough.

Once I graduated, though, I moved in with Joe. It was the house he bought with his rookie contract, and it was perfect for just the two of us. I ended up getting a marketing job in Cincinnati, just like I had planned when it was announced that Cincinnati had the first pick of the draft. Joe always told me that I didn't need a job since he was getting paid millions to play football, but I wanted to work. I didn't want to mooch off of my boyfriend.

But, a few months ago, I ended up calling it quits at that job. The workplace grew increasingly toxic under a recently hired new boss, and I found myself crumbling under the workload. Joe had been present for a few of my work-related breakdowns, and he finally put his foot down one day.

——

A few months ago

“I don't know if I can do it anymore, Joe. I feel like she's setting me up to fail.” - you

I was having yet another breakdown over work. Second time this week, and it was only Wednesday.

Joe was holding me as tight as he could, listening to every word that left my lips. We were lying on the couch, and I was cuddling on top of him, my face buried in his neck as I tried to calm down my crying. Joe had his arms wrapped around my waist, rubbing my back and kissing my head now and then. He hadn't said a word yet.

After my crying started to slow down, Joe abruptly rolled onto his side and unwrapped his arms from me. He stood up from the couch seconds later and grabbed my phone off of the end table.

“Joey? What’re you doing?” - you

“I can't do this anymore, y/n. This job is breaking you down, baby. I can't just sit here and hold you and then send you back just to have to do it again tomorrow. It hurts me to know you're hurting. I hate it.” - Joe

I stared at him dumbfounded. I knew he detested my job, but he respected my decision to go back every time.

“I’d be a terrible boyfriend to let you stay in that environment y/n.” - Joe

After sniffling a few more times and wiping my eyes and nose on the back of my sleeve, I finally spoke up.

“So what are you gonna do?” - you sniffled

“I’m calling your boss. I’ll try to remain calm, but when it comes to you, I can't control if I lose my shit. You’re the most important thing to me in the whole world, and to see you get treated like this is pissing me off.” - Joe

You could practically see steam coming out of Joe’s ears. I knew he was mad, but I didn't expect him to get this worked up. In another way, though, it made sense. I was the woman that Joe loved, and he took his responsibility of protecting me very seriously.

“What are you gonna say?” - you

“I’m telling her to put your two weeks in. Do you have two weeks of vacation days? I’m not letting you step foot in that office building.” - Joe

“You’re making me quit?? I need that job, Joe. How am I gonna pay for stuff?” - you

Joe did a massive eye roll before plopping down on the couch next to me. Here we go.

“That might just be the dumbest question you have ever asked. Baby, do you know how much money I make? It’d be stupid for you to keep that job that makes you feel like shit when your boyfriend is making millions to play football. No, you aren't mooching off of me, and I don't want to hear that. I want nothing more than to take care of you, y/n. You just have to let me.” - Joe

I stayed silent for a few moments, my anxiety and a feeling of guilt creeping in. My eyes welled up with tears again from Joe’s generosity and the fact that a bunch of fear came with it.

“I need a job, Joe.” - you mumbled

“Why? Why do you need one?” - Joe

It was gonna sound bad to say out loud, and the last thing I wanted was for Joe to think I had doubts about our relationship, but I was just being reasonable.

“What if things go south? I don't want to, and I don't think we will, but what if we break up? Then, I don't have anything to fall back on.” - you

“Are you being serious? We’re not gonna break up, baby. You’re it for me. Do I not make it obvious enough that I'm all in?” - Joe

“I know, it’s stupid. But I still worry.” - you

“You have no reason to. I'm not going anywhere, and that's a promise.” - Joe

——

Back to present day

So, that's when I finally agreed and decided to quit my job. Joe and I were able to spend a lot more time together, and we grew closer than ever before. I was putting full trust in him, and after a while, the thought wasn't scary.

I lay in bed for a while longer, just watching Joe as he slept peacefully. He just looked adorable.

My more innocent thoughts changed, though, as my eyes wandered over his perfect body once again. God, gaining weight was the best decision he's ever made.

Time to get down to business, I thought to myself.

I shoved the covers farther down the bed and gently spread Joe’s legs before kneeling in between them. After getting comfortable, I reached out for the waistband of his boxers and slowly pulled them down and over his perfect butt.

Joe stirred once he was fully exposed, probably feeling a draft but not fully waking up. Once he stopped moving around, I reached and wrapped my hand around his semi-erect cock. He always woke up a little hard, and right now, I was silently grateful for that.

Slowly pumping his length, I felt Joe harden and grow in my hand, and yet his face still showed zero tension. Once his erection leveled up to fully erect, I removed my hand from his length and slowly leaned down.

I wrapped my lips around his tip, watching his face the entire time I slowly inched my mouth down his dick. Joe let out a little whimper when his tip hit the back of my throat, but as I watched him, I noticed that he was still asleep.

After that, I doubled my efforts in hopes of drawing another sound from his lips while he was still out cold, and it was easier than expected. I sucked on his length as I bobbed my head, trying to give him the sloppiest head that I could conjure up. Joe would let out a little whimper or a quiet moan now and then, and I could tell he was close to waking up.

A minute later, with my eyes glued to Joe’s face, his mouth dropped open, and he moaned out. Louder than before. He’s awake.

Joe’s eyes fluttered open, and when he looked down to see my mouth around his cock, his eyes went wide, and he sat up straight. Joe’s cock got impossibly harder at the sight, and he buried a hand in my hair when I pulled off of him with a pop. I immediately wrapped my hand around him, stroking him fast with a grin on my face.

“Morning, Joey.” - you grinned

“Holy fuck, baby. I- I… fuck, I can't.” - Joe moaned

His raspy morning voice only made the experience hotter, so I took his length back into my mouth. Joe’s head was thrown back, and his grip on my hair got tighter. He's so close.

Joe continued to moan as I sucked him, his thoughts going crazy at the fact that he just woke up to me giving him head.

“So hot, baby. Oh god.” - Joe whimpered

A few moments later, Joe only started getting louder, his built chest heaving as he panted.

“Fuck, I'm cumming.” - Joe moaned

Joe held my head down and bucked his hips up, stilling as he exploded in my mouth.

“Fuck- fuck- fuck.” - Joe

It took a few minutes for Joe to gain his composure back, along with his breath, and I pulled off of his length. I rolled over back into my spot and cuddled up to Joe, pulling him into my chest.

I went to play with his hair before awkwardly stopping, remembering the fact that his curls were no longer there. Joe had recently changed up his hairstyle, and though it was hard to get used to at first, I loved it.

——

Flashback to a couple of months ago

“Hey.” - you

“Hi, baby.” - Joe

I was currently driving home from doing a few errands, including picking up dinner for Joe and me since he said we should just eat at home, though he didn't feel like cooking.

“Whatcha doing?” - you

“Nothing much. I'm looking at clothes for game day fits.” - Joe

“Sounds like fun!” - you enthused

Joe went silent for a couple of seconds before letting out a sigh, my eyes narrowing at his change of attitude.

“Sure. When are you gonna be home? I miss you, and I have a surprise for you.” - Joe

“You miss me? It’s only been a couple of hours, Joey. And I'm pulling onto our road right now. What'd you say about a surprise?” - you

“I have one for you.” - Joe

“Oooo. Am I gonna like it?” - you

Joe was freaking out just a little bit. Sure, what he did was what he wanted, but he was realizing now that it was a little impulsive, and he was worried about what you would think of it.

“Uh. Hopefully.” - Joe chuckled

We ended the call a few minutes later since I was literally in our garage. After grabbing all of the bags that I could, I walked into the kitchen through the mudroom. Joe was sitting at the counter, a grin forming on his lips when he saw me.

“Hey, gorgeous.” - Joe smiled

After placing the bags down and setting the food in front of Joe, I walked back around to the other end and up to him. Joe swiveled the barstool around, opening his arms for me once I stepped between his spread legs. He pulled me into a hug, and my head fell onto his shoulder, Joe’s arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

“Hi, handsome.” - you mumbled into his neck

Joe stayed silent for a few moments, rubbing his big hands over my back before pulling away and doing the same to my hips.

“Is there anything left in the car?” - Joe

“Just a couple more bags. I can get them, though.” - you

I went to turn around and head back for the mudroom, but Joe grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him.

“How about you get dinner out of the bags, and I’ll go get ‘em? - Joe

“Alright.” - you smiled

Joe pecked my lips before getting off the barstool. I watched him walk away till he disappeared from my sight, my eyes lingering on his ass for a few seconds before I looked away with a giggle.

-

Thirty minutes later, Joe and I had just finished dinner when I realized something. Ever since I got home, Joe’s been wearing a hat with his hood up over the top of it.

Joe cleared his throat to say something, looking over at me to see that I already had my eyes narrowed and staring at him.

“What?” - Joe chuckled

“Why do you have a hat on and your hood up? New questionable fashion choice?” - you

I giggled when he rolled his eyes, but his tone quickly switched back to serious.

“That’s what I was about to tell you. Close your eyes.” - Joe

“Is your hair my surprise?” - you

“Uhm. Basically.” - Joe

Please tell me he got the modern-ish-looking mullet that I've been begging him to do.

I closed my eyes, a grin on my face as I prepared myself. He's gonna look so hot.

Meanwhile, Joe’s heart was beating out of his chest. It was silly to be nervous about, but buzzing his hair, which he knew you loved, was almost a recipe for disaster.

Joe took his hood down before popping his Bengals hat off, running his hand over his spikey hair. He took one last deep breathe, mentally preparing himself for what you're reaction would be.

“Open.” - Joe

I opened my eyes, immediately jumping back with a scream. That’s not a mullet. He's fucking bald. Joe immediately started biting his cheeks and playing with his fingers.

“Is it that bad?” - Joe mumbled

“Joseph Lee. Your hair is gone. It’s gone.” - you

“Can you answer my question? I’m super scared right now.” - Joe

I stared at his head for a few more seconds, my eyes going between his practically bare head and his worried face. He looks so nervous.

Because I hadn't said anything yet, Joe dropped his head, unable to maintain eye contact with you because he was worried you weren't attracted to him.

“You hate it.” - he mumbled

My bottom lip stuck out in a pout as I pushed off of the barstool, wrapping my arms around Joe’s shoulder as his head ended up on my shoulder.

“Aww. Baby, I don't hate it. You know I love your hair, but there's so much more to look at than it. Look at me.” - you

I gently patted the back of Joe’s neck, and he leaned up. I cupped his cheeks, placing a kiss on his forehead before pulling back with a grin on my face.

“Your pretty face is the star of the show now. I can focus on your perfect nose, your baby blue eyes, and these perfect lips.” - you

When I mentioned Joe’s nose, I pecked the tip of it, rubbing my thumbs under his eyes when I mentioned them, and I pressed a kiss to his lips when I talked about them as well.

Joe’s cheeks turned pink at the overwhelming compliments, a cheeky grin forming on his lips before I returned his head to my shoulder.

“You’re so cute.” - you giggled

I rubbed his back as Joe giggled into my neck, his hot cheeks easily feelable on my neck.

“Hair or no hair, you're the hottest man I've ever seen.” - you grinned

—

Later that week - Same flashback

I was sitting on the couch when Joe got home from his workout. I was neck-deep in a conversation about Love Island USA with Lyla, so I didn't even look up when Joe loudly shut the mudroom door.

Truthfully, he shut the door loudly on purpose to try to get your attention. When you weren't already looking up at him when he entered the house, he attempted to slam the door so you'd look up, but you didn't.

“I’m homeeee.” - Joe

It was adorable how he drawled out the word, but I was too busy ranting about my least favorite person on the show to acknowledge Joe.

“Baby?” - Joe

“Hi, Joe.” - you

Joe walked into the house, dramatically dropping his bag on the floor before basically throwing himself down on the couch next to you. And yet you still hadn't looked up at him.

“Are you gonna ask me how my workout went..?” - Joe

“How’d your workout go?” - you sighed

He had to grin. He loved messing with you.

“Good. Can I have a kiss?” - Joe

All I did was pucker my lips, my eyes still not leaving my phone as I sent a frantic paragraph in response to something Lyla said.

Joe leaned over and craned his neck to give me a kiss, my eyes going wide when his head came into view. I immediately jumped back, our lips barely ever touching.

“Oh my god. You bleached it?” - you chuckled

I watched Joe move back to his seat so that he was comfortable and not straining his neck. He nodded with a grin, and my eyes were stuck on his bleached + buzzed head.

“What do ya think?” - Joe

I couldn't lie. As bizarre and silly as bleaching and buzzing his hair was… he looked hot as fuck.

“You look good. I kind of like this more. You look less intimidating.” - you giggled

With how bright his hair was, it brought out his blue eyes. One of my favorite features of his and something I could find myself getting lost in.

I moved over after setting my phone down, eventually straddling his lap as Joe’s hands found their place on my hips.

That hair made his perfect face the star of the show, and his built chest and sculpted arms were a sight. I was getting worked up, and he was just sitting here.

“I'm not gonna lie, you look hot.” - you

“Yeah?” - Joe

I nodded, my arms going around his neck as I slowly ground down onto his crotch. Joe groaned, leaning forward and smashing his lips into mine.

“Fuck.” - Joe groaned

After a few minutes of making out, I pulled away from his slick, reddened lips. God, he looks so hot right now.

“We should probably stop. We have to tour our possible wedding venue in less than two hours, and I need to go get ready.” - you

Oh yeah, Joe and I got engaged right after his trip to France! We were planning our wedding for the next off-season, and today we were going to tour a venue with both sets of our parents.

I grinned at Joe’s pout, sad that I was leaving him hanging because he was very hard. But he couldn't get too upset. Not when we were about to tour the place where we were possibly going to get married.

“Are you not excited?” - you chuckled

“No, I am. I just don't want to have to go take a cold shower. And alone.” - Joe

Chuckling as I crawled off of Joe’s lap, I couldn't help but bite my lip at the sight of the tent in his pants.

“Stop that!” - Joe

I only laughed louder before Joe got up from the couch, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“I'm excited to see the venue, though. It’ll make everything feel a lot more real.” - Joe

“Me too. The thought alone makes me giddy. I can't wait to marry you.” - you

“I can't wait to marry you more. I've been waiting for that moment since I bumped into you on that sidewalk.” - Joe grinned

I laughed at his over-the-top statement, finding it both endearing and silly.

“Okay, I think you need that cold shower now. You need some blood flow to go back to your head instead of your dick.” - you chuckled

“Why do you say that?” - Joe laughed

“You’re starting to say some questionable things.” - you

Joe cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at me because he was confused.

“What have I said that's questionable?” - Joe

“Saying that you've been waiting for us to get married since we met.” - you

He rolled his eyes when I left his arms and gently started pushing him towards the stairs. Joe argued that he meant what he said our entire trip into our bathroom.

“Okay, okay! Get in the shower, goofball.” - you

I threw a towel at Joe before turning to the sink, going to grab my face wash before doing my makeup when a cloth fabric hit my face. I put the bottle down to pull the garment off of my head. Lo and behold, it was Joe’s boxers.

Turning around to glare at him, all I'm met with is the sight of Joe butt naked. The only thing he's wearing is a cheeky grin that makes the corner of his eyes crinkle up. If he wasn't so perfect, I’d slap him.

“Ya know… I’m still pretty horny from that make-out earlier…” - Joe

“Get in the shower.” - you

“Yes, ma'am.” - Joe sighed

I watched him climb into the shower with a smile on my face, shaking my head at his antics.

At least I know I'm marrying a man that always keeps me on my toes, I thought to myself.

“Baby, are you sure you don't want t-” - Joe

“Yes, Joe! Shower.” - you

Authors note: The next part will go back to present-day! Or August 1st. This part was just kind of setting the stage for the real stuff!!

Requests;

HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!! 💕

[justherefornothing1]

@chillingxy Here's your secret spooky gift! Sorry it wasn't available earlier, the research for this was...a lot. Definitely a challange, and opened up my eyes a lot. So I hope you enjoy, and have a Happy Halloween, y ¡Feliz Dia De Los Muertos!

also @mcyt-halloween

On the 1st of October, Xisuma woke up, put on his helmet, and immediately sent a message in chat.

[xisumavoid]: Everyone ready for the meeting?

[FalseSymmetry]: yup

[Keralis]: Born Ready!

{TangoTek joined the game}

[xisumavoid]: Meet at spawn

He snapped on his elytra, marveling at how the gauzy purple fabric solidified into a harder substance before taking off into the afternoon sky. He planned the meeting to start the meeting as the sun set, so the spooky decorations (appropriate for the season) would really shine through. He chuckled to himself. Get it, shine? ‘Cause the lights…would…shine? 

Nevermind.

He ignored the extremely bad pun, instead choosing to focus on not crashing into Grian, who had somehow gotten to the meeting spot before him. Grian turned towards Xisuma as he landed, stumbled and finally managed to plant both feet on the ground a mere block away from Grian.

“Hello Xisuma! How are you doing on this lovely day?” Grian leaned in closer, rocking on the balls of his feet. Xisuma brushed himself off before facing the avian. 

“I’m doing good. How about you?”

 “Oh, I’m doing ghoul-d” Grian giggled after he said the last part. Xisuma sighed. 

“I really hope you’re not doing this until Halloween.”

“Oh, of course not! Once we get past Halloween I’ll start on my winter jokes.”

“Winter jokes? Grian…” Grian simply laughed before walking towards the prepared seats and plopping down on the nearest one.

“Don’t worry, you’ll love them!” He turned his attention to an approaching flier. “Hey Mumbo! Do you want to hear a joke?” As soon as Mumbo landed, Grian bombarded him with his next joke. Xisuma left the two laughing as he started to take inventory of his surroundings. 

They were in a forest close by to spawn. The trees not felled by the Hermits held themselves high, against both player and sky. Their boughs were decorated with soul lanterns and jack o’ lanterns, combining with the setting sun to cast an eerie light over the rows of chairs laid out in a clearing. He was quite proud of his setup. In fact, he was so busy admiring it that he didn’t notice Scar until he was blocking his view of the trees.

“Helloo, Xisuma, are you still with us?” Scar snapped his fingers a few times as Xisuma blinked. 

“Yes, I’m still here Scar, not AFK.” Xisuma scanned the clearing, suddenly noticing that seats were filled with antsy hermits. “Is everyone here?”

“Yes sir!” Scar mock saluted. “We’re all ready.”

“Excellent, let’s get this show on the road!” He rubbed his hands together before walking onto the stage in front of the chairs. He tapped the microphone twice, causing all the hermits to cease conversation. “Hello everyone, welcome to the monthly meeting! As you know, it’s October, so we’ll be covering possible Halloween events as well as housekeeping. But first, does anyone have announcements to make?” Immediately Tango raised his hand, waving it frantically before bounding onto the stage. His fiery hair whipped and flashes as he excitedly launched into a spiel about the next phase of Decked Out 2. Everyone pays rapt attention to his rant, because of course no one wants to miss out on Decked Out info. Then, after he finishes, another hermit takes the stage. Surprisingly, it’s Joe Hills. Xisuma briefly wonders if it’s about Deep Field, Joe’s massive pinball machine/main base. Considering the outer space theme, it seems unlikely to be updated for Halloween, but not impossible…

Joe placed both hands on the microphones before speaking. “Howdy y’all!” The crowd echoes with brief “Howdy”s and “Hello Joe”s before lapsing back into silence. Joe gives a small smile, then continues. “As y’all know, it’s been about a year since our dear friend TFC passed away.” Now the area is truly silent. Even the wind seems to have dropped dead in its path. “And…I think it’s safe to say that we all miss him. So recently, I wanted to find a way to honor both his memory and his legacy.” 

He began to walk across the stage, but at a slow, meandering pace. “I found a tradition, mostly observed in Mexico. It’s called “el Dia de Los Muertos”, or the Day of the Dead in English. It’s a collection of days in early November where the dead are honored, but overall it’s meant to be a celebration, not a wake. Now obviously, it would be hard to replicate the tradition exactly in Minecraft, but I have a plan to stitch together something like it. So if you can help out, please let me know after the meeting, and for everyone else, keep your ears open for an exact date!” 

Joe nods once, smiles again, then exits down the steps towards Xisuma. His eyes are focused on the floor, and his arms have migrated to a crossed position. As Joe walks past him, Xisuma grabs his shoulder as gently as he can. “Joe, are you good?”

Joe turned to face him, and X noticed that his eyes were a bit watery. Joe sighed before whispering, “I just…hope it’s enough. I miss him, you know?” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I hope we can pull it off.”

Xisuma patted Joe on the shoulder. “I know we can pull it off. And I’m more than willing to help with your plan. Just tell me what’s needed, alright?” 

Joe gave X a side hug. “Thank you. I appreciate it.” He turned to look X in the eye. “Now, what are the chances we can get marigolds on the server?”

---------------

The chances, as Xisuma found out, were none. 

See, marigolds were only available via mods, and the Aztec marigolds Joe had in mind had no mods to their name. So, as a substitute, Stress had provided orange tulips, and was scattering the petals around TFC’s old base. Keralis was sweeping away the dust and cobwebs that had accumulated since the hermits had been there. All the hermits were chipping in to clear and decorate the surrounding area. 

Except for Grian, who had made the excuse to wait for Scar’s “surprise delivery”. Xisuma doubted the truth of that claim, but whenever he brought it up to Joe, the man smiled conspiratorially and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s a surprise, X. You’ll have to see for yourself.”

Suddenly, Grian chirped and screamed, “Scar, be careful!!!” Xisuma looked up to see Scar barreling towards the group at…concerning speeds, to say the least. Scar yelled back, “I’m always careful!!” before proceeding to crash head first into a wall.

{GoodTimesWithScar experienced kinetic energy}

[GeminiTay]: LOL

[Grian]: WHAT PART OF BE CAREFUL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND

{GoodTimesWithScar]: sorry guys!!! is the surprise ok?

Grian walked over to the place where Scar had splatted and gingerly picked up a plain white box. He peeked inside, and let out a sigh of relief. “Good, they’re still intact.” 

X wandered over. “What’s intact?” 

Joe, who had come over during the ruckus, reached into the box and pulled out a small skull-shaped object. “In Day of the Dead traditions, these are called calaveras,” he explained. “They’re treats for the dead, but we can also enjoy them. Look at the details I asked Scar to do!” X leaned closer, and saw that this particular skull was dyed bright blue on one side, but stayed white on the other. “Is that Jevin, by any chance?” Joe nodded enthusiastically. “I thought it would be cool if they looked like the hermits, even though it’s not traditional.” “It’s a really cool idea Joe! Really cool,” Xisuma said. 

They turned their attention to the rest of the base, which looked ready for a celebration. “X, do you have the photo?” Joe questioned. “Yup, got it right here.” X pulled a picture frame out of his backpack, walked over to the front wall of TFC’s base, and hung it on a conveniently placed hook. It was a picture of TFC, in all his black-and-white glory. Xisuma stepped back and admire both the photo and its surroundings. The golden petals, the soft glow of candles, and the last remains of a setting sun gave the whole base a warm light, the same that radiates from a small campfire. He breathes in, then out. Then he turns to the small crowd that has quietly gathered behind him. “Let’s have a good time, shall we?” Cheers erupted from the group. It will be a night of celebration. 

---------------

The party is incredible. Food is passed around, glasses are filled with bubbly potions, and everyone all around has a good time. Toasts are made to TFC, friends recall fond memories, and the light surrounding his ofrenda only grows brighter through the night. It’s a night of remembrance and reverence and love. 

Eventually, the celebration winds down to a close, as most of the hermits decide to head home when Bdubs begins to loudly snore on Etho’s shoulder (don’t worry, the laughter woke him up). They choose to keep the candles lit overnight and snuff them out in the morning. The crowd slowly exits the base, pulling out elytras and rockets as they go. Eventually, the crowd is down to just Xisuma and Joe. The two decide to walk around TFC’s home one last time before leaving for the night, and that’s when they hear it.

Somewhere off in the distance, the duo hears a soft clink, clink, clink. Joe looks over at Xisuma with a quizzical look. Xisuma shrugs his shoulders. He didn’t have a clue as to where the sound came from. 

There it was again, clink, clink, clink. This time Joe pointed over to a small hole leading downwards. It was TFC’s stripmine, located a few blocks away from his base. Xisuma motioned for Joe to follow him as he walked towards the entrance. 

Down they went, past stone and more stone and a few leftover coal ores. They reached an area where the clinking got loud. “Is someone strip-mining down here?” Joe asked. Xisuma scanned the area, but saw nobody, and no torches. “Well, I don’t think anyone’s down here. Should we head back up?” Joe nods once before making a beeline for the exit. They make it all the way to the top before Joe holds a hand out a block him. “Look over there.” He points over to where the hermits had gathered earlier.

The petals, previously scattered, were now arranged in a pattern. “Thank you,” both hermits mouthed the word silently before turning to each other.

“Do you believe in spirits?” Xisuma asked Joe. Joe thought about that for a moment then said, “Well, depends. What are the chances that Grian, Scar, or somebody else with a mischief streak snuck back to do this?” “Possible, but not likely,” X replied. “Then,” Joe concluded, “for tonight, yes. I believe in spirits.”

The two stood in silence for a bit, before Joe suddenly said, “Well, I’m exhausted. I’ll see you at the meeting tomorrow?” The hermits had agreed to push back the next monthly meeting until after the Day of the Dead. “Yeah, see you tomorrow Joe.” Xisuma waved to Joe before heading off towards home.

Xisuma walked away, satisfied yet tired. Tomorrow was another meeting, another month, another day forward into the future. Yes, he missed TFC, but he knew that he and the other hermits would carry the man’s spirit with him until he too, faded away. 

Somewhere in the background, a wind picked up, swirled the orange petals, and carried them off into a twinkling sky.

[pint4punt]

And the Lombardi goes to:

What NFL Fanbases’ Bullshit Sob Story Deserves it All

Championship Sunday is finally upon us and boy have the scriptwriters got compelling stories this go round! With the playoffs narrowed down to the final four, we’ve got unforgettable narratives for…….almost all of the QBs still in this! Statistics, scheme, and matchups be damned (let’s be honest you’ve heard every prediction imaginable since these matchups were set).

Today we’ll be focusing on what really matters. Who has the most compelling sob story for quality Super Bowl ratings! Who could forget classics such as ‘Tom Brady Builds a Super Team to Prove it was Him All Along’ or the all star cast of Matthew Stafford, Odell Beckham Jr., and Von Miller in ‘The NFL Really Wants the Robust LA Market!’ featuring Snoop Dogg on the original motion picture soundtrack! You see a ‘may the best team win approach’ is fine for a place setter, but storylines put asses in the seats! And don’t worry, as bad as our jokes are, Jo Koy had little to no involvement in this article! So which Lombardi win makes the best headline? Here are the nominees:

Lamar Jackson

Since he declared for the draft Lamar Jackson has had to overcome widespread perception that he was closer to a skill position player than a signal caller. Many scouts questioned his ability to cut it in the pros at the Quarterback position. This stigma was so strong that Lamar fell all the way to the last pick of the First Round.

John Harbaugh believed in Lamar so strongly, that he reinvented himself and rebuilt his entire Offense around Jackson’s skill set. Shit, I would roll the dice too if my job was on the line after several middling seasons with an aging Joe Flacco! Either it works and you look like a genius or it fails catastrophically and you go out with a bang. Luckily for Harbaugh and Lamar, it was the latter with the now presumably 2x MVP set to play in his first AFC Championship game. Lamar has already shaken off the narrative of him not showing up in the playoffs just by making this game. But knocking off the QB who owns a 3-1 record over him for a trip to Sin City would be Oscar gold! Not bad for a running back.

Jared Goff

Everyone loves a comeback story. An underdog achieving in the face of adversity. A character finding a new lease on life and showing all the doubters they were wrong about him. There may not be a better archetype of that narrative than former 1st overall pick Jared Goff and the historically downtrodden Detroit Lions.

After being sent to die in Detroit, a franchise that has seemingly been in a perpetual state of rebuild for damn near the entirety of its existence, Goff watched from afar as Sean McVay gushed over his new QB Matthew Stafford and his old team held up the trophy he could never give them. Following two seasons with no playoff appearances, Goff seized the opportunity to prove to McVay that he’s not a virgin anymore by out-dueling his replacement to give Detroit their first playoff win in 30 years and keep Stafford winless in Ford Field in the post season.

Now he has the Lions on the precipice of a Super Bowl appearance with a chance to give Detroit its first ever Lombardi. Apparently the grass isn’t always greener on the other side……except in this case where it totally is seeing as how the Rams already won their second Super Bowl like two seasons ago thanks specifically to the Stafford trade, while the Lions are still fighting the good fight for Lombardi number one. But hey, everyone’s happy now right?

Brock Purdy

Is there a more inspiring yet polarizing figure in the NFL than Brock Purdy? He’s like a ‘Make a Wish’ kid that the media wants to beat the living shit out of on sight. In fact, we’re fairly certain Ryan Clark has his picture on a punching bag in his home and regularly unleashes a fury of blows onto an 8.5 x 11 cut out of Mr. Irrelevant. But why? Why does the NFL version of Michael Cera incite as much vitriol as….well Michael Cera?

As the last pick of the draft, Purdy was lucky to even make the final roster of a team that was coming off its 2nd conference championship appearance in 3 years. The depth chart in front of him featured a veteran who had taken the Niners to a Super Bowl and a guy Shanahan gave up his left nut for the year before. But Purdy was like that one sperm that ultimately reached conception, despite overwhelming odds, he just wouldn’t be denied!

Following season ending injuries to both Trey Lance and Jimmy G, Purdy took over a Super Bowl contender mid season…..and might have led them to a Super Bowl were it not for a devastating elbow injury in the NFC Championship that ended San Francisco’s dream run. One year and one UCL repair later, Purdy and the Niners picked right up where they left off and now find themselves back in the Conference Title game as if nothing happened. That’s like Greta Thunberg single-handedly fighting off an army of Exxon Oil’s greatest assassins or Joe Biden finishing a Dr. Seuss book with no assistance. We don’t know what’s up the media’s ass, but that seems pretty impressive for a game manager!

Patrick Mahomes

And then there’s Mahomes. The Meryl Streep in all of this. The one who had the least impressive performance with the least impressive story who you just know is going to spoil all the fun of the more deserving nominees. On paper, this fucker shouldn’t even be here let alone have a puncher’s chance with the way their regular season looked. But that’s what makes Patrick Mahomes, well Patrick Mahomes.

He’s like the Lebron James of football. Or better yet, the Tom Brady….of football…. Poor analogies aside, Mahomes defies all logic and drags inferior teams to the promise land. Sure the script doesn’t favor him this year, but guess what? It didn’t favor him last week against the Buffalo team that finally had him their house this postseason! Or in the Super Bowl last year against Jalen Hurts who mostly outplayed him before…..whatever this season was!

The simple fact of the matter is anyone who pays attention already knows how this ends. Mahomes is going to win the god damn Super Bowl….again. Why?!!! Because the academy, the scriptwriters, and the NFL writ large are lazy as all hell! And dynasties keep the fans coming back, just on the off chance that their pessimistic hopes of a downfall might finally come to fruition….even though they probably won’t until the NFL’s new golden boy is well past his prime. And the Lombardi goes to…….the same son of a bitch it always goes to!!!!! Hopefully we’re wrong and we get a fresh story this time around. Otherwise tune in next year for another crappy sequel with a few minor tweaks. Happy Championship Sunday!

[godsimge]

– major moral orel spoilers!!

a fun, and quite sad fact–one of moral orel’s more underrated lost episodes was going to be called ‘narcissism’, primarily centred around the relationship between reverend putty and florence papermouth. i’m sobbing here because it had so much good material in it, for multiple characters. i.e. a deeper look, albeit fleeting, into orel’s understanding of clay and arthurs’ tense situation, and a ton of orel, putty, and stephanie wholesomeness!! this was meant to take place about mid-way through season 3

queue putty rambling to himself in front of the entire congregation

this is genuinely a heart-wrenching moment in the script, and i’m so disappointed it wasn’t addressed in the show. this is orel genuinely acknowledging clay and arthurs’ troubled relationship, briefly, but it really is a symbol of how far orel has come in terms of maturity. it truly makes you wonder whether clay actually brought up the story of his mother to orel, perhaps simply out of spite, or as a way to turn orel away from arthur’s philosophies and get back at him for his neglect, even passingly whilst drunk

and it really shows that despite the shooting incident, orel still looks out for clay and cares for him, as troubled (an understatement) as their relationship is, orel still wants the best for him. even through all the pain that clay has put him through. he really is a great kid

and i think he knows that if clay continues to devolve into a more pitiful, pathetic man, suffocating on his own misery, it not only endangers clay, but the people around him. especially his two younger brothers

nurse bendy, the light of my life. she genuinely strives to change her perspective on men because she loves joe, and only wants the best for her son. despite how terribly mistreated she has been by so many men

these experiences have definitely warped her perspective on men in general, and as you can see in the episode ‘dumb’, she even ties her ‘hubby’ down to his chair, after the events of s3e4. that was her final breaking point, a sudden snap out of the safety of fantasy, from the lovely little familiar bubble she had created. with that, it all fell apart. and genuinely who can blame her? from a young age, she was objectified. these are not poor life decisions, these are others inflicting sick, depraved suffering on her

and doesn’t this link to modern times as well. she is objectified literally on a daily basis, and the only men to ever have called her smart ended up taking advantage of her anyways. stephanie and nurse bendy being lovers is literally the little closure i have

my favourite family. these three have my entire heart. it’s really odd that orel knows that term, but he goes on to say he learnt it from observing his father, or something along the lines of that. i’m not too surprised about that, eyes clay and danielle

MY HEART!! THEY ARE SO LOVELY!! just take a moment to picture all the times orel and stephanie would’ve eagerly supported their dad, holy shit

cue ‘hell and you’ by amigo the devil

i love florence so much, and honestly? i rooted for her and rod. this episode was set up with such a sweet, fulfilling ending, and i’m so disappointed it never made the cut. the dialogue in this episode was so good, and i recommend for everyone to check it out themselves some time. i love how it explored not only putty by himself, but the struggles of several other characters. it deserves so much more recognition!! i’m so sorry if i’m spamming the moral orel tl, but i have so much brain-rot surrounding this silly little puppet show and i cannot stop thinking about this specific episode

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Pt 12

zSteven Hyde x Reader

Thank you all for being so patient! I’m so happy you guys are enjoying the story :) 

Y/N sat in her room, crying on Hyde’s shoulder.

“Hey, doll, it’s okay,” he soothed, rubbing her back and caressing her hair. “He’ll get over it and we’ll all go back to being friends.”

“That’s not the only reason,” she whined and leaned back, showing him her big, puffy eyes. “I feel like our bond is destroyed.”

“It’s not, man,” he responded and tucked some hair behind her ear, stroking her face. “Look, Eric is just pissed off right now. Give him a couple days to cool off and he’ll come around.”

“No, you don’t get it. He’s never been this mad at me before. We’ve always been okay after a few hours, but not this long. I feel like I ruined it.”

“He’s your brother,” he said. “He loves you and he can’t stay mad at you long. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

Y/N pouted and nodded, tears resurfacing. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asked, chuckling.

“For getting you in this mess.”

“Hey, don’t think that,” he said sternly. “I got us in this mess as much as you. It’s not just your fault.”

She sniffed. “Why is it that our happiness only matters when everyone else approves?”

He sighed, holding her tight. “I don’t know, Doll.”

She hummed and fell silent, thinking about how she could fix this.

                                   ⧝⧝⧝

           “So, how’s the baby?” Jackie asked Kelso as they all sat in the basement. This time, Eric joined them but was he was extremely and eerily quiet. Y/N sat on the floor, situated between Hyde’s legs as he sat in his usual chair. Eric sat on the opposite side of the room, not bothering to glance at the couple.

           “She’s doing good,” Kelso beamed. “She’s so cute like me, but also beautiful like Brooke.”

           “Oh, that is so cute!” Y/N gushed. “When can we meet her?”

           “Probably not for another month or so,” Kelso pouted. “Brooke doesn’t want her near other people right now because of cold and flu season. I even offered to give her some orange juice because my mom always gives me it when I’m sick and she got mad at me!”

           “Kelso, you can’t give a baby orange juice,” Donna said casually.

           “Yeah, huh,” he replied, sucking on a popsicle. “If she can handle milk, she should be able to handle orange juice.”

           “Yes, it’s probably best to have Brooke make all the parenting decisions,” Fez said.

           “But, I’m her daddy,” he said sadly. “I just want her to know that I’m smart and love her too.”

           “Awe, Kelso,” Y/N cooed. “Of course, she’s going to know that. She’s going to look up to you and when she’s older, she’s going to think you’re her hero. I know I do with my dad.”

           “Don’t lie to the guy,” Hyde said without looking away from the tv. “She’s going to be doing dumb stuff with him too. Probably be the brains behind it all and watch him get hurt.”

           For a minute Kelso looked offended but then smiled and laughed. “Yeah, that’s probably true.”

           “You’re going to be great. Don’t worry,” Y/N said.

           “Don’t flatter him,” Hyde said, but with a smirk.

           “Why?” Eric piped up. “You afraid that she’ll date him too?”

           “Really?” Y/N asked, annoyed. “You’re going to do this now?”

           “I just don’t understand how anyone of you can sit here and think this is okay. Or normal,” Eric replied without looking up.

           “Forman, man, will you shut up?” Hyde said. “It’s been two days.”

            “I know you’re still mad at us, but your snide remarks aren’t welcome,” Y/N quipped.

           “I’m not welcome?” Eric asked, angrily.

           “No, dumbass that’s not what I’m—”

           “No, I know what you’re saying,” he said darkly. “You know what? You’re not welcome.”

            Y/N rolled her eyes at him; completely done with his dramatics. “Don’t be stupid, Eric.”

           “No, you and him aren’t welcome.”

           “I live here too, you moron,” Hyde said. “Where do you expect us to go?”

           “Anywhere but here,” Eric replied, staring daggers at the couple. “I don’t care as long as I don’t have to see you.”

           “Yeah? And what’re you going to do? Force us out?” Hyde pushed. “A spaghetti noodle is stronger than you!”

           “If I tell Red you will,” Eric said, setting his jaw. “I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I’m okay with this.”

           “Eric, shut up,” Donna said. “You’re being an ass.”

           “You’re blackmailing us?” Y/N asked, making a face.

           “Damn right. Either you leave or Dad finds out.”

           “You tell Dad and I’ll tell him about your trip to the jail cell!”

           “But this is an abomination!” Eric squeaked. “Sinful, disgusting, horrible!”

           “You done?” Hyde asked, annoyed.

           “I’m not doing this in front of everyone,” Y/N said. “I just want to hang out with our friends without arguing.”

           “No, I want you guys out of here,” he said. “Out of this group. You don’t get to be a part of it if you’re going to split it up.”

           “How are we splitting it up?!” Y/N shouted, getting angry. “This isn’t West Side Story.”

           “Stop, Eric!” Donna said, standing up. “Just because you don’t want them here doesn’t mean we don’t.”

           “Thank you, Donna,” Y/N said.

           “What the hell? You’re on their side?” Eric asked, raising his voice.

           “Yes, I am!” she shouted back. “Why shouldn’t I be? They’re our friends and if you’d open your eyes, you’d see that they’re really happy.”

           “I don’t care if they’re happy!” he shouted.

           “How can you say that?” Fez asked. “You selfish son of a bitch.”

           “How am I supposed to be happy when I had to hear you describe how my sister is in bed?!”

           “I don’t care what you say. It was hilarious,” Hyde said.

           “See? How can I care when you two obviously do not?” Eric shouted.

           “At least you heard about it,” Donna argued. “I saw it.”

           “Ew!” Eric shouted, covering his ears.

           “Alright!” Kelso shouted happily. “How were Y/N’s boobs?”

           “Shut up, Kelso!” Eric, Y/N, Hyde, and Donna said un unison.

           “I can’t and I won’t ever accept it,” Eric spat.

           “Well, it’s a good thing we’re not dating to impress you,” Hyde snorted.

           A sudden weight had dropped itself on Y/N’s chest. Her heart felt like it was barley holding up it’s own weight. “So, what are you saying? You want us to break up?”

           Eric didn’t respond, but stare at the ground harshly. He knew if he said it, he would be labeled the king of jackasses of all eternity.

           “You really are a selfish son of a bitch,” Y/N said and stomped out of the basement.

           “What the hell is wrong with you?” Hyde asked him. “Why do you have to be such a dillhole?”

           “I’m the dillhole?!” Eric asked, surprised. “How am I the dillhole when you’re the one who lied to me while screwing my sister?!” He gagged at the thought and thickly swallowed. “Unpleasant.”

           “Well, you know what, Forman? Get the hell over it. You always say that she deserves someone who is good for her. And you know what? That’s what I am.”

           “No, you’re not!” Eric shouted, silencing the whole room, including Hyde himself. The look on Hyde’s face made Eric break his gaze and turn around, rubbing his neck.

           Hyde stood there in complete shock as pain flooded through his chest. But it was quickly replaced with anger. Donna looked at her boyfriend with absolute disgust. Everyone else looked at each other with wide eyes and jaws dropped.

           Hyde didn’t know what to say, except for a harsh, “What?”

           “I didn’t stutter, did I?”

           Hyde’s breathing became labored and all he could do was stay frozen in place.

           “You’re not good enough for her,” Eric continued calmly and darkly. “She is going places. The only place you’re going to is prison.”

           “Eric!” Donna shouted. “That’s enough!”

           “So, that’s what you really think of me,” Hyde stated as fact instead of a question. “This whole time you’re supposed to be my friend, all you’ve thought about me is not doing anything with my life.”

           “Look at how your life has turned out so far!” Eric continued. “You’ve already been to jail multiple times, all you do is smoke, and not once have I heard what you plan on doing with your life besides staying a burnout. That’s no life for my sister.” He daringly stepped closer to Hyde and pointed a finger at him. “And don’t you dare tell me how to be a friend. Friends don’t do this.”

           All Hyde could do was glare at the guy in front of him with clenched fists. He wanted to punch him so bad, but he knew it would only make the situation worse.

           “Eric, please tell me,” Donna piped up after a minute of silence. “What makes this any different than what Kelso was doing to Laurie?”

           “That’s different!” he answered. “Laurie is just a whore who ended up cheating on him anyway. Y/N…Y/N’s different. She actually feels and cares about the people in her life. And I’m not going to standby and watch you hurt her!”

           “And what makes you think Hyde is going to hurt her?” Donna pressed.

           “Because he’s done it to other girls! Including Jackie!”

           “Hey, don’t bring my name into this,” Jackie responded sassily. “And for the record, I broke up with him. No one dumps Jackie Burkhart.”

           “I don’t care how happy she makes you,” Eric continued, ignoring her. “Because sooner or later, you’re going to get bored of her and leave her hanging. Just like the other girls.”

           Hyde clenched his jaw, keeping his burning stare on Eric. “Go to hell, Forman!” he shouted. “You don’t know jack. At least I’m not the one who bailed after I asked her to marry me.”

           “Don’t you dare bring that up!” Eric yelled at Hyde, his voice deepening. “This isn’t about me!”

           “Now I’m making it about you!” Hyde yelled back. “You’re sitting here lecturing me about bailing and hurting Y/N when you couldn’t even do the same for Donna!” As he was shouting at Eric, spit had flown out of his mouth. “So, shut the hell up before I shut it up for you!”

           “I’m not the one dating my best friend’s sister!”

           “You’re still not better than me!” Hyde shouted back. “I would never do that to Y/N! I’ve never felt this way about anybody before and I refuse to let you stand in the way of that!”

           “No!” Eric was huffing and puffing at this point. “I’ve stood by long enough letting you guys do whatever the hell you wanted! You’ve burned me, both physically and verbally, melted my freaking G.I Joes, gotten me in trouble with Red more times than I can count, and even let me sit in a freaking jail cell with no pants because everyone let me take the fall. This is where I cross the damn line.”

           “First of all, I ended up in that same jail cell after trenching old man Jenkin’s yard to make it up to you,” Hyde countered. “And second of all, I’ve always been there for you through every dumbass thing you caused or that happened to you. I’ve had to look after you all these years just to make sure you didn’t get your ass kicked.”

           “I never asked for any of that,” Eric responded, setting his jaw and crossing his arms.

           Hyde felt like he had been punched in the gut. He had spent years looking after Eric as he would if he were his own brother and for what? For Eric to throw it in his face? Hyde now felt like he had wasted so much time.

           “You know what? I’m outta here,” he said and stomped towards the door.

           “Good!” Eric shouted after him. “Go ahead! It proves to me what you’re good at: running away!”

           “If you’d like to keep your teeth, I’d suggest you’d shut the hell up!” Hyde shouted, veins popping out of his neck. “Consider this friendship over.” With that he slammed the door shut, causing the door hinges to rattle.

           Everyone stared at Eric with dropped jaws and disappointed, furrowed looks. Except for Donna. Only fire and fury burned in her eyes.

           Eric sighed and turned to her. “Look, Donna, I—”

           “Save it,” she said curtly. “I don’t want to hear it.”

           “But, I—” he tried to defend himself, but Donna cut him off once again.

           “I don’t care what your excuse is!” she snapped, raising her voice. “You’ve done a lot of stupid and messed up things and made yourself look like an ass, but this one tops it off. You were such a jackass that you made Kelso look like a saint!”

           “You know what? You’d be pissed too if you had a sister and Hyde was nailing her,” he defended.

           “Maybe, but I wouldn’t have reacted the way you did,” she replied. “I don’t care what is going on between them, the way you treated them was way out of line. And I can’t even look at you right now!”

           “Yeah, Eric,” Fez said and stood from his seat. “You kick them out of the group, but we still want them here. If anything, you should be the one to leave.”

           “Fez! What the hell?” Eric asked with his arms open and eyes wide. “How can you be on their side?”

           “Because they’re happy,” Fez answered with his cute and innocent self. “And they’re good together.”

           “Why does everyone keep saying that?!” Eric shouted.

           “Because it’s true, you walnut!” Donna practically screamed. “I can’t believe how unbelievably dumb and selfish you’re being! This isn’t even about you! In fact, it’s about them and if you’re going to keep acting this way, I don’t want to be near you.”

           “Does everyone feel this way?” he asked, exasperated.

           “Yeah, pretty much,” Jackie answered, nodding along with Kelso.

           “Well, that’s just great!” Eric shouted. “Then all of you can get out too.”

           “Gladly!” Donna shouted and stormed out.

           “See ya,” Jackie said, skipping out.

           “Dude…” Kelso trailed off, shaking his head and sulked out the basement.

           “Sorry, Eric,” Fez said and laid a hand on his shoulder. “If you weren’t such a jerk, you’d still have all your friends here. But now, you’re all alone.”

           “Yeah, yeah,” Eric said, brushing off his hand. “See ya later.”

           Fez frowned. “If you’d see past your anger, maybe you can see how happy they are and actually feel something towards each other. I wouldn’t call that a bad thing.”

           With that being said, Fez walked out the basement, gently shutting the door, leaving a seething Eric standing alone.

           “I heard yelling,” Kitty said concerned as she came down the stairs.

           “Yeah, there was,” Eric sighed and rubbed a hand down his face.

           “What happened this time?”

           “Y/N and Hyde are—” he stopped himself before he could cause any further collateral damage.

           Kitty stared at him confused. “Y/N and Steven are what, honey?”

           Eric sighed again, rubbing his neck and tried to keep his voice steady. “They are the most annoying people on the planet.”

           “Why’s that?”

           “Because they…” he couldn’t think of anything good to say on the spot, so he improvised the best he could. “They stole and broke my G.I Joes.”

           “And you’re yelling over that?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

           “Yeah…it was my favorite ones.”

           “Oh, honey, you can always go buy more,” she said, turning her back on him to head back up the stairs. “But I’ll talk to them.”

           She swayed back upstairs, leaving Eric completely alone. After she was out of sight, he collapsed onto the couch feeling completely spent. Why had he lied to Kitty about what they were fighting about? Why did he cover for them when he so badly wanted to tell her the truth?

           He slumped back into the cushions of the couch, sighing once again, but this time he didn’t have anything else to say. He was alone and he knew he had messed up.

                                                 --Time Skip—

           “So, you ended the friendship?” Y/N asked Steven, playing with his fingers. They sat at the Hub, waiting for everyone else to show up.

           Hyde sighed heavily and ran a hand through his curls. “Yeah, I did.”

           “Because of me,” Y/N whispered and looked away, letting out a shaky breath. She felt a heaviness settle in her stomach. Like an anvil had made its way inside. “Oh God, I’m so sorry Steven.”

           “No, no,” he replied and grabbed her hands, holding them firmly. “Don’t say that. It maybe about you, but I didn’t end the friendship because of you. I ended it because of him.”

           “But none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t gotten in the way,” she whimpered. “I broke up a lifelong friendship.”

           “Hey, Y/N look at me,” he said and cupped her cheek. Her watery eyes met his. “Yeah, this sucks, but if I had to choose between being with you and keeping my friendship with your dillhole brother, I’d choose you. A thousand times over.”

           “But I’m not worth it,” she said, a stray tear escaping down her cheek. “I never meant for this to blow up the way it did. Maybe this was a mistake.”

           “You really feel that way?” Hyde asked, a sharp pain stabbing him in the chest. “Is that what you want?”

           “Of course not, but it’s caused so much damage to the group. We can’t even hang out anymore.”

           “If it wasn’t for Eric’s blow up, we’d all still be in the basement hanging out right now,” Hyde responded, ignoring the pain he was feeling. “The only person causing this is him.”

           “But it wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t hooked up!”

Hyde sighed through his nose. “Look, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I’m not going to let it go just because some idiot wants me to. Only if you want me to.” He tilted her chin to make her look at him. “Do you want me to?”

           She was quiet for a moment, looking in his intense blue eyes. She could see the hope and fear that lay within and knew she couldn’t leave him; because she felt the same. She couldn’t ignore her pounding heart when she was near him, or the butterflies that would erupt in her stomach when he would say something sweet to her; like he is now. Or that settling safety that she felt when he had his arm around her.

Before, she felt a timer with Zack and any other guy she may had dated. She knew her time with them wouldn’t last and that timer continued to tick until their time was up. That is until she ended up with Steven. The timer had stopped and gone silent, and she knew he was going to stay. For the first time, she felt at peace and warmed by him. He was her home as she was his.

Y/N swallowed thickly before shaking her head. “No. No I don’t.” She gave him a small smile and his muscles relaxed, a smile reaching his eyes. “I choose you a thousand times over.”

           He smiled at her and grabbed her face gently between his hands. “Yeah, baby, a thousand times over.”

           As he leaned in to kiss her, a loud “Aweeee!” came from behind them.

            Y/N and Steven turned their heads to look at the group standing there, large grins plastered on their faces.

           “No, no, go on. Go ahead and kiss her,” Donna gushed and laughed, sitting at the table.

           Hyde and Y/N pulled away from each other and leaned back. “Moment ruined,” she commented.

           “How long were you guys standing there?” Hyde asked nervously.

           “Not long,” Donna responded and smirked at him. “’Baby.’”

           “I choose you a thousand times over,” Kelso mocked and started making kissy faces at Fez.

           “Man, what the hell are you doing?” Hyde asked.

           “I don’t know, but it’s funny,” Kelso responded and continued doing it.

            Y/N chuckled and shoved Kelso, making him laugh. “So, Fez, where’s Caroline? Haven’t seen her around.”

           “You probably scared her off,” Jackie laughed. “Finally someone who is crazier than her.”

           “Yeah, but she uses it for good,” Hyde said, smiling.

           “Actually, I broke up with her,” Fez replied. “She tried to stab me again.”

           “Wait, again?” Y/N asked. “What do you mean by ‘again’?”

           “Well, she tried to stab me once before and I told her that a man can only take so much,” he replied. “So, after the fourth or fifth time, I finally left.”

           The group looked at each other concerned while Y/N fumed. “I’m gonna go find her.” She stood from her chair, but Hyde quickly grabbed her hand.

           “No need,” Fez replied calmly, a smug look painting his handsome face, watching as Y/N sat back down. “I put her back in the mental ward.”

           “How did you do that?” Hyde asked.

           “I called the police, duh,” he responded.

           “How did all this happen and not any of us know?” Donna asked concerned.

           “Well, I didn’t get the chance with the whole Y/N, Hyde, and Eric dramatics.”

           “What the hell?” Y/Nasked, furrowing her brows. “Fez this is much more important than our petty drama. You should’ve told us!”

           “Thanks Y/N,” he responded sweetly. “I like you better than Eric.”

            Y/N chuckled and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Everybody does.”

           The gang chuckled before turning their attention to Hyde.

           “So, Steven where are you going to live now that you and Eric aren’t friends anymore?” Jackie asked.

           “I honestly don’t know,” Hyde answered. “I was thinking maybe I could get a few more days over there. Gives me enough time to come up with an excuse.”

           “You can stay with me,” Kelso offered. “My brothers are out of the house and we have an extra bedroom.”

           “Thanks Kelso,” Hyde said and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll have to think about that one. I don’t need to be near a crying baby.”

           “She doesn’t cry,” Kelso defended. “She just mainly sleeps and eat.”

           “Well, to be fair, you only have her for a few hours a couple nights a week,” Jackie said.

           “In my country, babies are a huge symbol of good luck and fortune,” Fez commented.

           “Why’s that?” Donna asked.

           Fez shrugged. “I never understood that part. I guess it appeases the gods or some crap like that. Fertile and continuing of our kind. But I always thought that was a bunch of bull hockey. Babies are loud and needy.”

           “They’re babies Fez,” Jackie said. “They can’t take care of themselves.”

           “Eh,” he replied. “They’re still nuisances.”

           “So, if we were to stay together and we had a baby, that’s what you would think of that?”

           “I don’t know. You never gave us a chance to find out,” he responded bitterly.

           “Oooh,” Hyde said under his breath while everyone backed away from the table.

           “You can’t be serious,” Jackie argued. “We broke up three weeks ago. And in that time, you brought home another girl.”

           “Oh, and like you haven’t?!” Fez asked.

           Hyde closed his eyes, lips tight, trying not to laugh at his friend’s poor choice of words. Y/N shook her head and Donna covered her mouth with her hand, trying to contain her giggles. Kelso was already dreaming of Jackie and some other girl getting it on.

           Jackie’s face scrunched up in confusion. “No, Fez. I haven’t brought anyone home. C’mon, can we have a decent conversation like adults?”

           “No,” he said, frowning at her. “You hurt me like when a child gets his langamigna taken away from him.”

           “When a child gets what taken from him?” Hyde asked.

           “Lollipop in my language,” he answers and turns his glare back to Jackie.

           “I’m sorry, Fez,” Jackie said. “Look, I want us to be friends again.”

           Fez looked at everyone and as if they got the hint, they all got up, leaving them two alone.

           “What do you want me to say?” he asked her, leaning back against the chair and shoved his hands in his pockets. “You want me to accept your apology and have us go back to normal? Like you never ripped my heart out to begin with?”

           “Well, no, not exactly,” she responded and scooted closer to him. “I was hoping we could work on becoming friends again.”

           Fez glared at her with tears beginning to well in his eyes. “How can I be just your friend when I was so in love with you and still am?”

           Jackie looked down at her lap and sniffed. “I know, I do too. But we should still try.”

           Fez leaned forward and grabbed her hands, anger completely dissipated. “Then what’s stopping us? Didn’t you always say that love conquers all?”

           Jackie looked up into his deep, dark eyes; completely melting into them. Her lip quivered as she spoke. “This time love isn’t enough,” she whispered.

           A single tear slipped down Fez’s cheek and he quickly retracted his hands from hers and quickly wiped at his face. “Why?” he asked. “Why isn’t our love enough?”

           “Because we’re not right for each other,” she whimpered.

           From a few feet away, the gang was listening in with sad faces. Y/N leaned into Hyde, him throwing an arm around her and pulled her close. Donna leaned against the window with crossed arms, looking at the floor, and Kelso squeezing her shoulder.

           “What do you mean it’s not enough?”

           Jackie shook her head, barley containing her tears. “We’re just not right for each other. I see it, you see it, even the group sees it. We just never matched the way a couple should.”

           “I’ve always loved you,” he whispered, looking down at the floor.

           She reached over and cupped his cheek. “I know.” She smiled sadly at him and met his eyes. “And I will always love you.”

           Fez looked at her before leaning in to give her one last, loving kiss. Jackie melted into the kiss, tears streaming faster down her face. She brought her hands up to his face as he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer to him.

           When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers. “We could’ve been great, you know.”

           “But we weren’t,” she breathed.

           Fez nodded his head and pulled away. “I know.”

           “But, you showed me what it felt like to be loved and appreciated and that’s all I ever wanted,” Jackie said, trying to lift the mood. “I didn’t have to worry if you were out with other girls or going to run away. Thank you for showing me what I deserve.”

           “Thank you for loving me despite being the weird one of the group,” Fez laughed half heartedly.

           “I call it eccentric,” Jackie giggled sadly. “You deserve someone who will love every part of you. The good, the bad, and the weird. You deserve to have real chemistry with someone. Unfortunately, I couldn’t be her. But she’ll come along and you’ll forget all about me.”

           Fez gave her a sad smile. “I could never forget you.”

           “You’re right, you can’t,” Jackie chuckled. “No man can.”

           They laughed softly together and stared into each other eyes.

           “I love you, Jackie.”

           “I love you, too, Fez.”

           They stood and reached over, enveloping each other in their arms, holding tight.

           “Are we…are we okay?” Jackie asked once they pulled apart.

           “Yes,” Fez said and brushed some hair off her shoulder. “We are. I need you in my life. Whether it’s as a friend or my girlfriend, I still need you.”

           “And I need you.”

           They smiled at each other for a minute before Fez looked at his watch. He sighed and clapped his hands together. “I, uh, I better get going. I have to go do something with my host parents.”

           Jackie nodded. “Sure, sure. See you later?”

           Fez smiled. “Yeah, of course.”

           Jackie returned the smile. “Okay, see you later.”

           “Bye,” Fez said quietly, leaning over and kissing her cheek. He zipped up his jacket and walked out into the crispy fall air of Point Place.

           Tears of sadness and relief welled in Jackie’s eyes as she slumped back down in her chair.

           “Jackie, are you okay?” Y/N asked as the group came back to surround her. She wrapped an arm around Jackie’s shoulders and squeezed.

           “Yeah. I think so,” Jackie said, finally feeling like she could speak the truth about her feelings. “Yeah, yeah I am. It just won’t be the same for a while.”

           “Jackie, no one’s asking for it to be,” Donna murmured to Jackie comfortingly.

           “But I am,” Jackie responded and ran a hand through her hair.

           “We’re here for you, Jackie,” Y/N said and laid her head on Jackie’s shoulders.

           Jackie felt a weight had been lifted off her chest, but now new one, yet lighter one, now rested its way in there. She just wanted things to go back to normal. At least now the worst part of it was over.

           “Yeah, we are,” Hyde said genuinely. “You need anything, you let us know.”

           “Thanks, Steven,” Jackie said glumly, but looked at him confused. “This is unusually nice of you.”

           “I do that a lot actually, yet people are always so surprised,” he chuckled once Jackie’s lips curved into a small smile. “But seriously, man, you’ve been there for me and Y/N during this whole mess. It’s only fair I return the favor.”

           “Well, I didn’t do it to be owed a favor,” she said.

           Hyde smiled kindly at her. “I know.”

           She smiled back at him and wiped at her nose. “Thanks you guys.”

           “You’re welcome, Jackie,” Kelso said. “Hey, if you want to, I can make you feel better if we—”

           “Kelso, I swear to God if you say ‘do it’ I’m going to kick you in the head,” Y/N threatened.

           “I was going to say do circle time! God!” Kelso cried out.

           “Oh,” Y/N responded, surprised. “Yeah, that sounds good, then.”

           “Yeah, I can do that,” Jackie said, standing and grabbing her coat off the back of the chair.

           “Oh good ‘cause after smoke time, we should definitely do it,” Kelso laughed.

           The gang groaned and turned to him.

           “SHUT UP, KELSO!”

Tags: @nicole-prz​ @lieswithoutfairytales​ @mdittyz123​

[wandsandwheezes]

Till You Make It | F.W | CH5

Fake It | The Masterlist

Warnings // SMUT 18+, Hufflepuff!Reader, implied sex, teasing, lingerie, relationship, consent, sexting??

a/n // So im posting this one a day early as there is a chapter 5.5 coming out tomorrow which is pretty much just pure smut <3 once again i have to thank @starlightweasley​ my partner in crime for being my muse while writing this!!

When Fred left that evening after dinner, the under-the-table events still plagued your mind as you threw your head back against your pillow out of desperation. Fred made it very hard for you to concentrate on anything other than him or the feel of his fingers. Substituting his hands for your own didn’t help either, you fell asleep with your lips parted in half pleasure and half agony from missing the man who had been plaguing your thoughts. Chest heaving, shivers running down your spine and fingertips moving only left you breathless for him. You thought that maybe that desperate feeling would leave you when you woke the next morning, to be left in the night but as you walked to a day of appointments, your mind was truly somewhere else, somewhere with him. Each fleeting thought as you hem a skirt or completed your seams only brought you to feel his hot breath fanning against your skin or his stupidly delicate touch, having to take a deep breath just to pull you back to the reality that he wasn’t right there, he was across the street no doubt laughing and joking away like the memory of last night wasn’t plaguing his every thought. 

You were far from the truth. He wanted to storm into your shop like the first time he kissed you, hearing only your choked back moans like a sweet symphony in his brain. George tried to get his attention, only holding it for a few moments before he was distracted again. Fred was meant to be stacking shelves, but the sight of a current Gryffindor quidditch player donning their sweater made all of his thoughts of you race back. 

<< Morning, doll x

>> Fred Weasley I hate you.

<< No kisses? What have i done :(( x 

>> You left me frustrated you absolute git

<< There’s no reason to call me that, petal x

<< I could’ve left you much worse off x

He watched as the typing bubble flashed up on the screen before disappearing a few times. Smirking to himself as he locked his phone, pushing it into his pocket knowing full well what he’d done. You were sighing to yourself as you sipped on the now lukewarm coffee, tapping out the perfect message to retort back at him, but nothing seemed to fit, no matter what you say he would have the perfect witty response to chime back. It hit you, if he wanted to play games you would play along.

>> Wanna see the set I’m working on Freddie? x 

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, as he pushed a box of spare products onto the shelf in the stockroom. He checked the message only to feel his heartbeat about to burst out of his chest as it raced that bit quicker. He was alone but the thought of anyone just walking in or catching a glimpse of the picture on his phone drove his feet to his office as he tapped out his message to you. 

<< I’d love that xx

You smiled to yourself as you laid out the garment on the table for him, making sure that it was smoothed out to perfection before snapping the perfectly innocent picture to send to him. You knew that he was expecting more skin, a lot more skin in fact. In his head he was about to receive a tempting photo of his girl, for his eyes only. 

>> (1)  Attachment.

He tapped open the picture with shaky fingers, unaware of what to expect when the image flashed up on his screen, eyes gazing over the lacy fabric not on your body but on the worktop. Tease. He quickly realised what you were doing, huffing to himself as he let his head fall back against the headrest of his arm chair. If you kept up this teasing to and fro you’d drive each other mad by the end of the night.

<< Why don’t you put it on for me, petal? xx

Two hours had ticked by since his last text to you. He found himself checking every notification, praying it was you, even considering sending another message but he stopped himself. He tried as best he could to focus on his work; taking stock, doing orders and serving customers.  Another hour had passed and still no response. He couldn’t ignore the friction in his boxers at the mere thought of you, mind running wild once again, his thoughts alone pulled him through to lunchtime when he could finally see you. 

The way he stormed into the shop, seeking you out in the back room, eyes dark with hunger as he stared you down made your heart flutter. His brow was furrowed and he looked like a man who was starved. You liked the effect that your little charade seemed to have on him, biting the inside of your lip to stop you from smiling. 

“I don't find your little game funny, love." You simply cocked an eyebrow up at him before continuing with your sewing, the whirring of your machine filling the thick sexual tension in the air. There was an undeniable chemistry between you both, that was visible from the way you latched onto each other so quickly. You loved to see this side of him, less dominant but yet so desperate and needy.

“Uh huh,” you hummed nonchalantly as you pulled the material in the right direction, sending the machine whirring once more. Giving him the silent treatment was enough to send him wild. The sound of your machine muffled his steps as he drew closer to you, gentle touches over your exposed shoulder sending shivers along your skin. Your body wanted to give into him, let him have you right across your desk right here and now but the game was all too fun. 

“The silent treatment, really doll?” You looked up at him with a smile as he uttered those words, your hand moving to hold his, pulling yourself up from the chair to fall into his hold, staring up at him with a mischievous glint in your eye. You pushed yourself up onto your toes to press a kiss to the tip of his nose, breathing in the calming scent of his cologne and you did so. 

“Didn’t you like the lingerie, Freddie?” you asked him innocently as you bat your eyelashes, he leaned in to try and kiss you properly but you quickly pressed a finger to his lips, pushing him away cheekily as you giggled.  

“Buy me dinner first at least.” 

And he did, he bought you several dinners in fact. You made sure to dress up nice for him, let him get hot and needy before making him wait. It had now been a month of torture for the poor boy, letting him get by on no more than kisses and a few lingering touches. You wanted him to feel that same way you felt after the night at Lee’s. You swore he would’ve stopped you by now, out of pure frustration but he continued enduring his own torture just as much as you continued dishing it out.

Being invited to watch the Star Seeker’s last game of the season and coincidentally the last game before her wedding, filled you with pure joy. You invited Fred, not that he needed inviting telling him that it would be a nice date, to which the smitten boy agreed. You held hands in the stands as you both cheered alongside George, who was beaming with pride, listening to Lee commentating the game over the arena speakers.

“You know Freddie, this reminds me a lot of our Hogwarts days... I miss being up in the commentators box, it had a much better view, though for what I was looking at, I think I’m in the best seats now.” You leaned up to press a kiss to his ear as you spoke, causing him to chuckle as you moved to press your lips to his, only to be met by his finger against your lips as he mimicked how you had treated him in your shop all those weeks ago.  

“Just one kiss?” You pouted at him as he pulled you into a kiss, your heart leaping. Here Fred was, kissing you in front of everyone; his friends, family, press and every soul in the stadium but he didn’t care. The whole world could watch but he could only ever focus on you. 

It had been a week now since that event, Fred was still on edge with all of the teasing, he had grown to expect It now, waking up to a cheeky message or a voicemail, That was if he wasn’t waking up to your arms wrapped around him. He was smitten by this point, absolutely enamoured by your very presence, he would do anything to make you smile.

“Joining Lee and I tonight, Freddie?” George asked with a small knock to his brother’s office door. He pondered on it before it struck him. If Lee was out, you were all alone, the thought made his heart skip a beat. The days you’d both stopped yourselves, making out like teenagers on the bed before realising your best friend was only in the other room always seemed to kill the mood. 

“You know what, I don’t think I should be mixing with alcohol… A month sober and all.” Fred pled a fair case to his brother, a feasible enough excuse over the want to have a night with his girl. Even that sounded nice in his head, you being his girl. George nodded, suggesting a dinner instead, to which Fred shook his head again with a small laugh. 

“For the love of god, go out, get smashed and please get Lee laid… he’s driving me mental.” George nodded, laugh falling from his lips as his hand reached out to pull the door closed behind him as he went to leave, mumbling a small ‘noted’ and gesturing a salute from behind the glass.

As the evening fell, the rain came with it - a light dreary drizzle and not heavy downpours but still rain nevertheless. You managed to beat the raindrops before they fell, returning to what you called home to strip off the day’s work clothes. Between appointments you’d finally managed to finish and perfect the gorgeous red set that you had started working on all those months ago, discarded on your dressing table as you pulled on a fresh pair of joggers and Fred’s sweater which he had let you keep in all this time, grateful for the company of his scent as you realised this may be the first time you had been alone in the night since you’d left Joe. 

A knock at the front door made your heart pound out of your chest. Half of you wanted to ignore it but the curious half wanted to see who it was. Peeping through the looking glass to be met with the messy ginger locks you loved so much prompted you to pretty much swing the door open and jump into the unsuspecting boy’s arms, your legs wrapping around his torso. 

"Hi handsome, thought you were going out with George and Lee?" You peppered kisses all over his face as you held his face in your hands, fingers splayed against his cold skin yet his actions were more than inviting. You soon found your back pressed against the wall, soft quick kisses soon replaced with deep, passionate ones, lips locked together as if your lives depended on it. His foot kicked the door closed his hands keeping your thighs in place as he asserted his dominance over you. 

"I wanted you. Fuck, I've wanted you for weeks now, doll." You moaned and hummed against his lips with every kiss. It was electric the way his fingers touched you, everything from the cool sensation of the wall against your back to the heat of his shallow breaths fanning against your neck. You were nervous, wanting nothing but absolute perfection with the angel you cared so deeply about. 

Fred really was an angel to you, he helped you feel like a person again. 

“Please say something,” Fred whispered, forehead now pressed against your own. You hadn’t realised just how deep in thought you were until he spoke again, you could have swore you heard his voice crack ever so slightly as he uttered those words of vulnerability. You nudge your nose against his with a smile that leaves a reassured sigh escaping his lips just before you move once more, pulling him into another kiss, immediately feeling him relax as he closes the space between the both of you, effectively trapping you against the wall. 

“Isn’t it obvious that I want you too, Fred?” He chuckled, holding your weight in his arms as he carried you through the halls to your bedroom. He pretended to drop you twice, both times you hit him on his chest, laughing together in the most gorgeous way, creating a harmony of giggles. Each time he feigned your fall from his arms, droplets of rain fell from his soaking hair onto your face. 

“Oh yeah? Obvious is it?” His large hands gave your ass a playful squeeze before placing you on the bed. You leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek, pushing his wet hair back and out of his face. You caught how his eyes stared so lovingly at you, feeling butterflies in your stomach as he gave you his signature toothy grin. You stand from the bed, grabbing a towel that was hooked over the door to dry his gorgeous ginger locks. 

"Sit down, let's get you dried." He blushed as he sat down on your mattress, tilting his head up towards you ever so slightly as you find your place between his legs while his hands rested gently on the backs of your thighs and you swore to yourself that you had never felt such fireworks linger upon your skin as they did with Fred Weasley. Those hands you had admired for so long, those hands that gripped onto his bat tightly during your school years and hit away bludgers and all had you swooning as you gripped the towel. You draped the towel over his head, giving his hair a rough towel dry and letting your fingertips press against his scalp gently through the soft fabric. When you left him to go and hang the slightly damp towel up once more, his gaze caught a glimpse of something bright in the corner of his eye. Upon further inspection from afar, that something bright was a beautiful red lace that had been thrown on your dressing table in a moment of relief after you had finished it. He stood, making his way to them out of curiosity, his fingers taking hold of the soft lace, immediately recognising the feel and the pattern. His breath hitched, gazing upon the sensual piece that had nonchalantly been draped upon your dresser, his gaze hadn’t left the fabric and he hadn’t even noticed you were staring at him with a lingering look in your eye, your heart beat beginning to pick up once more and this time it wasn’t because he was pretending to drop you.

"It's the material you first kissed me on." You pointed out, holding your hands together in front of your stomach that was now experiencing somersaults and that familiar feeling between your thighs welcomed itself once more as you swallowed thickly. 

"I know… Is this for m–" 

"Yes." 

"Put it on then, petal. Do it for me." You could have sworn your cheeks were as red as the lace he was handing you, gripping onto the soft fabric with shaky hands. This was far from how you could have ever imagined your first time with Fred to have come about, a rain-soaked boy showing up at your door and taking your breath away with his kiss. The months of teasing were finally catching up and you had to take a moment to process it all as you retreated to your bathroom. Part of you wanted to change in front of him but more of you wanted it to be a surprise and if you were honest to yourself, part of you needed a moment before you faced him. To look at the reflection of a woman you hadn’t recognised in a long time and say ‘it’s okay’ because it was okay. This was Fred… it was Fred and you, no one else. 

There was something different about the way you pulled the straps onto your bare shoulders, the way your hair frames your face as you dressed. A smile spread across your lips and you blushed to yourself, how long had it been since you had felt like this? Something like this was truly paradise felt on earth amidst the darkness you had long been suffering within. Joe wasn’t here, you reminded yourself as you exhaled and glanced towards the door and you felt reassured by your inner thoughts. 

He had begun to pace about your room as he waited for you to return, feeling an unfamiliar wave in his stomach. Never in his life had he been nervous about intimacy with a woman, but when it came to you he couldn’t help the fluttery feeling that consumed him with every step. Fred had to remind himself that it was you, not anyone else, not Cherry, his exes or one of his lame one night stands. Lastly, it wasn’t the woman he had been pining for ever since he could remember… the one who chose his brother instead of him. It was a woman who he truly felt something for, a something that he didn’t want to ruin. He hadn’t even noticed your return, staring out of the window as he was consumed by his own thoughts. Your arms snaking around his waist as you pressed yourself into his back, snapped him away from his feelings of nerves and self doubt because he had you there. 

“We still don’t have to do this, you know.” You whispered softly as your cheek pressed against his damp t-shirt, his hands coming to cover yours, giving them a reassuring squeeze as he let out a deep exhale. He didn’t have to worry around you, he didn’t have to fear that it was Cherry’s touch masked as yours. He knew that it was you in the way he could have sworn your hearts beat together. There were no words that could have ever described the way you made him feel. 

“I want this.” he mumbled, as he shook his head, mostly at the way a leech like Cherry still was able to plague his thoughts in his most vulnerable moments. Turning in your arms, your eyes meet his face which is plastered with a deep smile, biting the inside of your cheek when you realise that you are stood half-naked but pressed against the fully clothed man. Against the man who had plagued your daydreams years ago and now your thoughts at night. He took your hand in his, stepping away for a moment before lifting your arm over your head to make you twirl in front of him. The sight of you took his breath away, solidifying the thought in his brain that you truly were a goddess. Fathoming that you were his to kiss and hold made his heart race out of his chest.

“You’re beautiful.” He managed to only just choke out the compliment as his other hand found your jaw to pull you into a kiss. Nothing had ever felt so right to him than the crave of intimacy with you right now, you let him guide your bodies, your skin now flush against the cool sheets while he leant over you. Standing up briefly he pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his toned torso that made you feel weak, counting yourself lucky that you were laying down otherwise you would have surely buckled at the knees. 

Fred knew that the minute he had the opportunity to, he would take his time in worshiping every dip and curve of your body, no matter how long or tedious the process was. His hot open mouthed kisses started at your jaw, it was intoxicating to feel him mumble praise between each kiss, telling you about just how breath-taking you were to him and how much influence you had on him. His kisses along your neck left marks not to claim you but to show you just how much he cared without having to say the words. His lips travelled down to pepper kisses down the valley of your breasts, his slow pace made you grab his face with both hands.

“Don’t be a tease, Freddie.” He chuckled, his hands wrapping around your wrists, pulling them away from his face so that he could press a sweet kiss to the insides of your palms, the hint of a smirk hanging off his lips as he did so. His fingertips grazed over your skin as they ran down your arms, sending goosebumps firing over your skin. His laugh sent every good feeling of pleasure through your veins. His hands went to his belt, immediately he thought of all the ways that this could go wrong, the image of your pained expression and the way you cried into his chest sinking his heart once more. He pondered for a moment before he asked, hardly above a whisper, ‘do you want to?’ before gesturing to the belt buckle. 

You felt your heart stop, remembering how you had stopped yourself going this far before, feeling a sense of calm fall over you as you reached to undo the belt buckle. You knew that this gesture alone was enough for you to realise that Fred really did care about your comfort, he wanted you to feel as if you were in control of the situation, not forced or pressured but completely at your own free will to pull away or stop but you didn’t. You slowly unbuckled his belt and pulled it from the loops before setting it down on the bed, smiling up at him. 

“No more teasing, yeah?” You nodded, pressing your lips to his again as your hands found the back of his head, giving the now damp hair a gentle tug. 

No more teasing. 

taglist //  @starlightweasley @slytherinsunrise @gcdric @theweasleysredhair @pansydaisy @vogueweasley @vivianweasley @feetoffthetablee @darthwheezely @thisismynerdyself @witch-and-a-half @loony-loopy-lupinn @rip-us @hopemalfoyweasley @pigwidgexn-deactivated20210125 @softlyqoos @colorfulprofessornickelangel @fandomscombine @satellitespidey @txtdreamss @aaannabbanana  @starkidpotty @mollydarling-hphm @amwithers2001 @asthmax @sarcasticallywitty15 @whizboingies  @rosietoesy

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Apartment AU Masterpost:

-Everyone lives in an apartment complex.

-Xisuma as landlord? Or just a really well looked up to person in the complex. Whichever works for you!

-Pranks all the time. Everyone's constantly pranking each other.

-Everyone has 'normal people jobs.' Perhaps Joe is an English teacher? (Cleo's also a teacher. (Irl.) Omg, what if they teach at the same school?) Maybe Bdubs is a professional interior designer? Maybe Cub builds computers? Go nuts, get creative.

-Actually, screw it. Bdubs works at IKEA.

-Everyone meets up every Friday night to go to the pub or go bowling or just do something together.

-They have a discord server because of course they do.

-European Hermits are early-birds, American hermits are night-owls. (This is the only way I can think to portray timezones and waking hours when everyone's living in the same building.)

-They all still love minecraft, don't worry.

-Keralis has so many books his flat is basically a library. He lets people come in and borrow books for a small fee.

-Tinfoilchef is a bit of a shut in but everyone makes an effort to include him.

-Etho would also be a cryptid like Xisuma. Like, we've seen Xisuma's whole body other than his face but the best we know about Etho is that: 1. He exists and 2. From the, like, one single real life photo he's shared, he broke a headset. Also, 3. Allegedly, he's buff. Otherwise; Beef and Etho invite Pause (who lives elsewhere,) over at random intervals to [play ctm maps] and do god knows what. Bdoubs works at IKEA but is the person to make the room displays, y'know.

-Scar sells dice and other tabletop rpg supplies that he designs. His shop is magiccrystals. com

-Cub and Scar made business with the guy who runs the fight club. They get half of the profits and everyone’s always wondering how those two can always afford the most expensive Christmas gifts for everyone.

-Mumbo could be an engineer or work on a STEM field, and he works on some really important and impressive projects and that would explain his polish person, Exept, when it comes to helping another hermit to change a lightbulb or fix a microwave he is an absolute disaster.

-Grian owns a parrot that knows everyones' names and faces and greets them when they come in.

-Scar's apartment has a balcony filled with plants and he has to bring them inside for the winter. (I'm assuming that all 4 seasons happen) Even without the balcony plants, his place is still full of indoor plants including his favorite venus flytrap. There is always a plant knocked over from Jellie's shenanigans. Jellie is supposed to stay in his apartment, however she keeps on getting out somehow, even getting to Xisuma's apartment occasionally.

-There's a grassy patch out back that acts as a backyard, but Stress has effectively taken it over. Perfect for flowers of all colors in the spring and summer, and during the winter you KNOW she’s building an ice castle from which to throw snowball at all her friends.

-Beef and, when he’s visiting, Pause get a lot of questions about Etho (since unlike X who gets one tightlipped visitor in shape of his brother Etho gets two that are willing to be vague) however they charge a fee for people to guess. They’d never actually sell him out but the guesses are always something technical related so there’s not much of a risk, he actually works as a botanist/gardener.

-Iskall is extremely good at ice hockey and, as resident Canadians, Etho and Beef have played with him. However Iskall only knows that he’s played with Beef because both beef and etho refuse to tell him who in the rink was Etho when they played.

-The only person who’s seen Xisuma's face is Keralis.

-Nobody knows what Grian does for a job. Like, when they think they've figured it out what he does, they're thrown through a loop again because he does a lot of odd jobs. Need help with a pet? Grian can help! Rip on your clothes? Don't worry, Grian knows how to fix it! Ect.

-Grian's an assassin. Iskall will make assassin jokes and Grian, without looking up from his coffee will go: "that's not how that works!" And then go back to being quiet. Everyone's like ????

-I love the idea of Grian knowing all these cool facts and when anyone acts he says 'it's because of his job,' and they still can't figure out what he does. He keeps correcting Iskall on assassin facts but they're all just like 'oh Grian sure must love those types of movies, huh.'

-Cleo teaches Joe's kid. (That means she teaches either year 2 or year 3? // 1st grade or 2nd grade?)

-Grian's family is in the mafia but he mostly just vibes. Sure, he works with the mafia, but he keeps his regular life away from work and none of the hermits (besides False because she saved the Mafia boss) know. Imagine boss looking at False and going, 'oh hey, you're already protected.' False is confused and says 'what?' But the Mafia Boss has already left.

-Etho is always in full kakashi cosplay.

-Honorary hermits apartment au: zloy and pixl have a radio show but also act as private investigators. Falsie hires them to investigate how she got the protection of the mafia. On their investigation they start asking Elybeat (that lives on a building right next to the hermits) about weird behaviors that he might have seen. Ely just goes ‘all of what they do is weird. I’ve recorded weird stuff they say and remixed it. They though it was funny and put the remixes as their elevator music.'

-Everyone thinks Etho is an assassin, but really, he's a horticulturist/botanist. He doesn't bother to correct them cause it means he doesn't get pranked, (or, as often.) Maybe someone finds out eventually? I don't know who. Maybe Doc and they keep it hush hush cause they think it's funny or something. || Maybe Bdubs finds out, (because I think he's seen Naruto?? Swear I saw a Twitter post where he recognized a Naruto joke) and he's the only one that recognizes that Etho's dressed like Kakashi and NOT an assassin. (That's lowkey a joke though.)

-Someone warns Grian against parking euro because they think Etho's an assassin and Grian just kinda goes: "alright then." Knowing that there's no way Etho is an assassin, but also realising how the hermits view that profession, he most likely starts feeling kinda bad.

-Beef used to be a car photographer and Mumbo takes photographs as a sideline when he was in college. They would occasionally chat about their past experience in the photography field and sometimes gush about cars.

-Hermit Challenges was actually a truth or dare game among the hermits. Mumbo was basically delirious from lack of sleep to explain his absolute gremlin energy. Mumbo dares Grian to steal front doors before passing out and everyone decided that was the end of that game. No one thought Grian would do the dare. A week later, everyone but Etho and Xisuma were missing their front doors (including Grian.) He stuck them in his bathroom so no one immediately saw the doors.

-As already established, Joe constantly hangs at Keralis's library. Let's say he also has a hobby for writing, and one time he was asking to himself how *insert really specific murder scene* would work in real life. Grian or Doc then overheard him and answers him in a also very specific way, he thanks them with 0 concerns and continues with his writing.

-Etho has been an assassin but it was many years ago, and retired to care for plants. (As you do.) He got hired by The Goatfather but intentionally botched the killings because, 'hey now those two are friends >:(' He and Bdubs still have the endrod game but it involves the whole apartment building and several discord messages going "located" or "flashlight on the move.'

-Stress paints all the hermit's door and puts their names on them. (-🌿)

-The organisization Grian works for is called "The Watchers!" They text him in riddles of what his missions are. This is so that if anyone peaks at his phone, they don't understand immediately!

-What if in YHS happen because of grian family and Sam is from an other family who does not support the grain family. So grian will not bring up high school and school and when joe and Cleo talk about there student grian sometimes cringes remember what happened in high school. (-🌿)

-Grian and Mumbo's hobbits holes were two cupboards they found on their respective apartments and decided to make a room out of them and named them their hobbit holes after they found out they both had them (-🐿️)

-What if it's a really old apartment and the 'hobbit holes' actually connect to each others apartment. (-🐺)

-Mumbo has these periods when he overworks like crazy and when they're over - he sleeps for like 24-36 hours straight. Everybody knows about this and help him if he falls asleep in random plaxes around the apartment. Mumbo once fell asleep right before his door and Grian tried to help him get inside while mumbling. Guess which remix were aded to the elevator music next week.

-Whenever anyone is annoyed or upset, grian sometimes pops his head up from his book and goes "who do I need to kill?" No one takes him seriously though he *would* kill for any of his friends.

-People who have left the server work nearby but have moved to new apartments. (For example, Welsknight works at a nearby food truck) (-☘️)

-With the Grian being a spy you get several oints where he thinks he's been found out but no one puts the and two together. They're all like: "Grian just likes action movies I guess."

-Scar's "wizard robe" is a bathrobe he owns. One day he forgets to change and just walks out in a bathrobe and no pants.

-Since Cleo teaches Joe's kid, maybe that extends to all the hermits' kids? Like the ones that have them, like not at the same time but at some point you know?

-I don't think I saw any regarding headgames, but I could've missed it. Anyways, what if Cleo wanted to make a big Scrapbook in her free time of all her friends, so she asks everybody to try and get pictures. So the PVP heads are candid photos, and the tradeable one are like selfies or group pictures. The other heads could just be a requirement for the picture like have a sheep in the picture. And maybe she gives the winners dinner payed by her or something.

-On the head cannon that hermits that aren’t on the server work nearby, Biffa is the actual mayor.

-Are mobs (and half mobs by extension) still a thing in apartment au? Cause if not I propose that Jevin just has cloob blue dyed hair and a bunch of blue tattoos.

-XB bakes a lot and always shares the food he makes with the others. They adore his cookies. Scar really wants to make some cookies in the shapes of disney characters with him, but he's too shy to ask. (-nameless anon)

-Perhaps Mumbo and Iskall are also protected by the mafia because of grian (perhaps scar is too) They and False have a 'we are protected and have no idea why' group (-Frost Anon)

-Imagine the hermits want to throw a nice party but X and Etho were kinda like “yeah no i’ll pass” so they make it a masquerade so that they can come- and then the whole night no one knows who anyone really is, but still has a really good time.

-Grian wanted a pet parrot, but felt like he would be terrible at taking care of one so he has toy parrots instead, those that have pre made phrases and such, and he is proud of his toy parrot pets. (-🐿️)

-Xisuma hosts a podcast! That's where all of his Xisuma speaks content ends up coming from. (-🇵🇭)

-Etho has a secret food blog called "Cooking With Etho" (based on the actual cooking with Etho segment in usually his modded stuff.) He also knows that there's hermits that either: have no idea how to cook properly or can't cook real meals due to their work. To help with this, sometimes he leaves finished meals or recipes with them (outside their doors or somehow in their fridge) and no one knows who does it prompting the theory of a self care ghost haunting the building.

(All of those in red were from Anons!)

-Joe works as a LAMP Developer.

-False has an assortment of swords, knives, etc. She even had a bow! She also has a dummy to practice fighting on.

(-@unpredictable-pancake.)

-Stress is a wedding designer. (-@the-angry-numel.)

-Iskall also works at IKEA with Bdubs. (-@mandatedempathy.)

-There's a local club that's basically fight club a few people are in. False, Iskall and a couple others are in.

-Hypno is kind of a bit of a loner. Everyone on the floor considers him a friend but he doesn't really have a best friend. He just does his own thing and people usually let him do that. He's fine with it.

-XB and Joe spend a lot of time at Keralis' library house just reading the books. Keralis usually charges every except those two because 1. They're there so often and 2. They're basically his room mates at this point. (-@tomcatacaphe.)

-Ren works at a bar as a bartender or musician. (-@friendlyneighbourhoodpieceoftrash.)

-Building on the last thing with Ren as a musician or working at a bar, he works at a bar as a server but does live music on weekends. It's the bar/pub/restaurant that the hermits sometimes hang out at together.

-I can see Grian working at a pet shop but also on the side of the mafia because of YHS. Or at least he used to be involved with the mafia.

-Beef once had to cart Etho off to the hospital for a chemical burn and explain to the other tenants that the explosion heard suspiciously close by wasn’t mafia activity. Etho is just an idiot with a hobby of making homemade fireworks.

-(-@limelocked.)

-False is the chief of police for the town they live in. Iskall is a hired assassin who normally gets employed by the mysterious figure GOATfather. Doc is the GOATfather, head of the mafia. Falsie is trying to hunt down these two as well as any others associated with them. The nHo is part of the mafia. Falsie has no idea any of them are in the mafia and they refuse to kill her because she has become such a close friend to them.

-Maybe Grian is a spy instead of an assassin? The group the Watchers is a government policing organization bent on trying to crack down on mob activity in the area.

(-@creator0fchaos.)

-The elevator music is hermitgang and remixes. -(@lookitsspacekween.)

-Zedaph is a game show host. Tango makes cartoons. (-@aphion-and-on.)

-Come on, let Iskall play ice hockey! Maybe not professionally if it doesn't work for the AU but he's v good at least. (-@automnalsaffron.)

-Grian maybe works at an animal shelter or an animal rehabilitation center. So everyone who has a pet usually comes to him for help if their pet is sick or injured. (-@vahco.)

-Grian has a safe full of guns, all the Hermits know about it but think they're fake. (-@xxpzmistxx)

-X never comes out of his room so no one’s seen his face. The only way he communicates is via text, Discord, and an intercom right by his door. He almost always gets groceries whenever the hermits are busy and therefore have no time to go out- but the hermits know he’s a real person because sometimes they hear guitar solos coming from his room.

-Hypno is a voice actor!

-Joe and Cleo often go home at the same time, and all the way it's almost always Cleo complaining about her students being bratty and the likes (Bonus points if Joe carpools with Cleo, who owns a car.)

-False unknowingly helps the boss of the mafia after seeing him wounded on a street one day, earning her their protection.

-As a callback to Season 6, Stress became a cat lady for a bit while False became a dog lady. As an added bonus: Cleo became nuts when Cub decided to gift her with spiders for her birthday or some other event.

-Mumbo still sidelines as a cameraman/film director for short documentaries and comedy sketches where he often invites Zed and his buddy Jack to act maybe?

-The first time X was proven to be an actual person was when the girls temporarily kicked the boys out to have the apartment all to themselves for a girls’ night which prompted the boys to have their own boys’ night. X was wearing his grey helmet that night so his face was still obscured tho, and from that day forward they always had a weekly girls’ night and boys’ night alternating on which group gets to have the apartment to themselves.

-False may seem like she can take a shot or two, but in reality she’s very lightweight and easily drunk, and is always the first one wasted. She becomes a flirty drunk who flirts with everyone and everything when she’s tipsy, an angry drunk the more she drinks and eventually a sad drunk before passing out. Cleo and Stress, her drinking buddies, always find amusement in this.

-As a callback to Xb living a thousand blocks away from society in s7, maybe he lives at the highest floor where not many (if not no one) occupies?

(-@heyitsroby.)

-Civil War started because they used to get groceries delivered to their doors and Grian started stealing them when they were left in the doorstep. Everyone stole each others groceries until one day they went into teamss of one side vs the other side of the corridor to the other until Grian stole so many groceries Dic was like 'Dammit!' He started going to the store to get groceries instead of getting them delivered to his door after that. (-@sayeshaa1108.)

-Regarding apartment au: Zedaph is similar to miu iruma from danganronpa: making the weirdest inventions and coaxing the other hermits into doing weird things for science. (-@oh-hecc-im-stupid.)

-Idk if Doc has a profession yet in the apartment au, but it just struck me- what if he owned a private casino?? Cause of s7? Just a thought! (-@853dragons.)

-Cleo really enjoys doing miniature diorama scenes. Like the tiny dudes from "Night at The Museum". She's like crazy good at it, and Joe will sometimes base his poems and stories off of her dioramas. Also maybe Joe has published a book of poems and short stories? (-@lynxes15.)

-Doc works as a social engineer and part time mafia boss. He rarely shows up for game nights. However, when he does, nobody else stands a chance.

-Tango, Impulse and Zedaph go over to each other's rooms so often they practically live together in an apartment room 3X bigger than everyone else.

(-@trashedeggnog.)

LINK TO NEXT POST: https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/617640752709861376/apartmentau-masterpost-2-link-to-previous-the

Posts with TW:

Guns, Gangs, Getting Shot. Don't read if you can't handle this topics.

-Everyone finds out Grian is an assassin/mafia boss because someone from a different gang (*cough cough* sam gladiator *cough cough*) found out where he lives and tried to murder him. Queue epic gun fight scene. If you want some angst, Grian gets shot a couple of times in the fight but didn’t realize it because of the adrenaline and passes out. (-Anon.)

-Imagine someone like, finding Grian's guns and weapons and just being :0 and Grian is a little nervous. But then the other hermit just think the guns are cool (it's probably either etho or doc) and they're just gushing over how cool the guns are. Grian is relieved. (-Anon.)

-iJevin owns at least one gun. He's not in the mafia or a cop or anything, it's just cool and legal so he as one. He's the constant counter for the other gun owning hermits who have them for more mafia related purposes (context: jevin owns at least one gun irl) (-Anon.)

[thiswasinevitableid]

3. Sweets for OT4 because Barclay making sweet things for his polycule is the soft that I need! Sfw, with mer Duck and Joseph?

Here it is! Joseph’s design is based on a Spotted Drum, Duck’s on a Mahi-Mahi.

Most days, Barclay’s house resembles a cookbook library. Today, it looks like a cookbook library that got hit by a catastrophic earthquake.

His goal is to find three perfect recipes to bring to the beach with him tonight, but he keeps changing his mind; whenever he settles on a menu, he turns the page or turns around and finds another contender staring at him from its glossy photo.

Indrid is the simplest; he likes sweet food in all his forms, though he’ll make concessions to the rest of the tastes from time to time. It was one such concession (to sour) that first introduced them. Indrid was shooting a fashion spread in town and came into Amnesty Lodge, where Barclay was working the counter at their little coffee bar. 

“I suppose I should get a slice of the key lime pie, since we’re in the keys.”

Barclay cut him a generous slice because he liked the curve of his smile. Indrid sat at the counter, took a bite, took a second bite, and then ate so fast his fork was a silver blur. He licked his plate clean when he thought Barclay wasn’t looking. There was a dot of whipped cream on his nose that Barclay almost offered to kiss off. But he exercised restraint and gave him a napkin instead.

Indrid came back the next day, and the next, and the day after that too. When Barclay asked how long the shoot was, Indrid admitted it was done three days ago.

“I, ah, I’ve been coming down from the city just for your food.”

“That’s the best compliment anyone’s ever given me.” Barclay leans across the counter, smiling when he spots Indrid’s eyes giving him a once over from behind his red-lensed glasses.

“May I have the chance to pay you some more? Perhaps tonight if you’re free? 

He was, and Indrid complimented him before, after, and during the night they spent together. Barclay would have been fine with a one-night stand, let the memory of Indrid’s tan, angular body under his hands carry him for the next few months. But the photographer came back at least three times a week and took Barclay out as much as possible. He learned Indrid was a big enough deal that he could pick and choose assignments and that he traveled often, but the longer they were together, the more he talked about moving his headquarters to Kepler.

Two years later, his office and studio are ten minutes from the apartment he and Barclay share. When he’s in town, he’s glued to Barclays side.When he travels, Barclay gets postcards signed with hearts or filled with sketches of what Indrid’s seen (and he always comes home laden with local delicacies for Barclay to try).

Wait, what were those hard candies he brought back and then ate all of? Yeah, that will work. Barclay checks to be sure he has heavy cream and makes a note to get pineapple from the grocery store. He’d hoped to avoid a trip out, but Indrid is worth it. Indrid is one of the best things to ever happen to him. 

He’s also the reason Barclay has to find three recipes and not just one.

A year ago Indrid was location scouting for a dramatic oceanside shoot. On a remote outcropping, waves splashing around him, a man popped up from the water to ask what the hell he was doing so far out and didn’t he know the tide overtook this rock real quick?

Indrid, a little strange himself, recovered quickly from being scolded  by a merman. And promptly asked if merman would like to pose for a portrait. If not, would he be able to show Indrid some good locations for photographing rays?

Duck, green-finned and strong, became Indrid’s guide to the reef. It didn’t take long before Barclay noticed Indrid getting dreamy-eyed when he recounted their adventures. Maybe he should have been jealous, but he was just happy his boyfriend found a hunky merman to show him the wonders of the sea.

These days, he considers Duck one of his best friends, a friend who also happens to make Indrid’s face light up like the Vegas strip whenever he smiles at him. 

Duck’s palate tends towards the savory side, and on days when he needs a pick-me-up Barclay will bring him a travel bowl of french onion soup and a hard seltzer, the two of them sitting on the sand and comparing notes on troublesome customers (or, in Duck’s case, park guests in the aquatic campground on the far edge of the reef. 

Actually, that gives Barclay an idea. He grabs the flour from the cupboard, sets it next to the jar of yeast and a bottle of wheat beer. They may be metamours and not partners but, as Barclay often jokes, he owes Duck big time. 

See, shortly after meeting Duck, Indrid guided Barclay down to a hidden patch of beach. 

“I want Duck to meet you, dearest. He also has someone he wishes to introduce to us.”

Duck barely had time to emerge before another merman pulled himself onto the beach and began asking questions. 

“See, this is why I asked him to come. Joe’s fascinated by the human world. Even swam under a glass bottom boat tryin to get a look at some tourists. Which was real dangerous.”

“You didn’t seem to mind  disciplining me for it” Joseph shoots a smile at the other mer, then continues his examination of Indrid’s camera.

With black hair, blue eyes, and a stunning white and black tail, Joseph is the most handsome man Barclay’d ever seen. Later, when he had to explain the fact he was attracted to both him and Indrid, he’d say that the difference in his boyfriends was like the difference between being fed by a classically trained French chef and Spanish chef pushing the boundaries of molecular gastronomy; radically different, but equally amazing.

Joseph, inquisitive and clever, began asking to see them whenever he could. Barclay started bringing food down for Joseph to try, played him movies on his phone, and fell harder for him whenever he laughed or smiled or made a bad pun. 

Some nights Duck, Indrid, or both joined them. Other nights it was just the two of them and water, Joseph lazily waving his tail back and forth as they talked. One evening, he dragged it across Barclay’s legs by accident and the human wasn’t quick enough in hiding his reaction.

“Should I do that again?”

“S-sure.” 

“Can I kiss you at the same time?”

“Yes! No, fuck, wait we, we need to talk to Indrid and Duck about this.”

“I suspect they won’t mind, but you’re right. We’ll take a rain check, big guy. And please pass me that cake.”

In addition to his other good qualities, Joseph has the most sophisticated palates of anyone, mer or human, Barclay knows. As in he can taste the notes of blackberry or chocolate that a wine label insists are there but Barclay can only sort of get a hint of. Barclay once bought him a sampler box of expensive wines, cooked oysters over a driftwood fire, and hand fed both to Joseph as he moaned and wiggled with delight, outlining in no uncertain terms what he’d do for Barclay as a thank you.

(He still can’t look at a bottle of white wine without blushing)

That means Barclay has to make something that's as sweet and sophisticated as the mer himself. Ripe peaches tickle his nose. He grabs his copy of Dessert for All Seasons, flipping to summer with a smile. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay, so” Barclay sets the bags down on the picnic blanket, “I, uh, I decided making one sweet thing wasn’t enough. I know that’s kinda silly but you three are so fucking important to me I wanted to do this right.”

“Doubt you’ll get any complaints from mr. sweet tooth.” Duck smirks. Indrid, lounging in linen shorts a moth patterned Hawaiin shirt, sticks his tongue out. The mer just blows him a kiss in response. 

“And there’s no need to apologize for being thoughtful.” Joseph drapes his tail over Ducks, “it’s one of your best traits.”

“Thanks, babe. Uh, so, Indrid, this is for you.” He lifts the pie plate from the ice chest, “it’s pineapple cream with vanilla whipped cream on top.”

“I love you.” Indrid takes the dish with wide-eyed appreciation. 

“Duck, these are for you.”

“Oh hell yeah, pretzels. Wait, is this-”

“French onion soup dip? Yep.”

“I’m gonna eat the hell outta this.”

“And, uh” he slides the cake carrier towards Joseph, “I found a recipe for a peaches and cream Prosecco cake. Hope you like it.” 

Joseph lifts the lid, licks his lips, then pushes the carrier into the center of blanket so he can roll and put his head in Barclay’s lap.

“You’re the best.”

“Indeed. Which is why we have something for you as well.” Indrid stands, stepping over Duck and then eeping when the mer gently whacks his ass with his tail. When he returns (stopping to bend down a pinch the sensitive upper back of said tail), it’s with the cake carrier Barclay looked everywhere for earlier today.

Beneath the pink plastic lid is a cake coated in milk chocolate frosting.

“‘Drid said this was the one you made yourself for your birthday.” 

“Oh fuck, the chocolate malt one?”

“The very same. We had to get a bit creative cooking it; Joseph suggested making the layers  in cast iron over a fire, which worked well. After all, we didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

The frosting message of “happy one year anniversary” gets a little blurry, and he wipes his eyes, “this is so fucking sweet, you guys.”

“You deserve it.” Joseph kisses his hand as Indrid rests his head on his shoulder, Duck scooching over to lay across Indrid’s lap. 

Barclay smiles, “We all do.”

[devil-head]

SK8 the infinity episode 12 finale rant/talk caution

Palm trees for the commemoration of the fact we didn’t see them this time round

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh god it’s over now (◞‸◟) why did it have to end!!!! Anyways let’s begin the final rant. The begin was immaculate despite it being clown Adam. I just love me some edgy over the top opening scenes. The way that this man scared the crap out of the tailor is funny and also scary like what if tu lo mataste de un susto and you now have to go and find another one. Mans probably thinking that if he didn’t obey their head will be chopped off. Moving on to our Canadian poutine eater and the literal embodiment of the sun. God the way that they are just there for each other all the time is something I crave man like chef kiss to that. Reki working on Langas board while on the job is mwah because mr I forgot your name but you know the store owner is just cool with it, knowing that these two children are just that passionate with skating, I wonder if he sees himself in them.

Once they got to S and Adam did his edgy reveal of his new fit and board set up is the level of extra I espiré to have. Ima be honest here I am kinda starting to like Adam but that doesn’t mean I let his perv passing actions slip by. Maybe it’s because I can kinda relate to how he was brought up and how he didn’t have much to enjoy on his own that wasn’t taken from him and that in order to be loved you have to reach certain goals otherwise you won’t receive it and be looked down on. Ya know his whole shibang of reaching all the expectations he has on him to please those above him. But idk anyways moving on the fit was noice (the mask was to die for in my opinion like sir hand it over) and the board graphic touched my edgy heart and now I want it. Langa of course was looking all swaggy and ready to roll which was great.

Now the actual race; man did it pump me up like yo the graphics was everything. The way that they moved so freely and quickly was so pretty (each episodes animation is chef kiss but I felt like this episode hit harder than the others) the “zone” that the two of them both fell into seemed so scary. How are they still conscious enough to understand their surroundings but not exactly there to stop anything from happening. This also makes me realize how good Adam is at skateboarding as he is pretty much always there, he must know the area so well that he knows all the cracks in the concrete and each turn. I got scared when Langa started to lose his motivation and just left mentally like mans was quoting again till Rekis additionally decal in his board snapped him back into reality. Adams little breakdown hit hard and I thought he was gonna lose it completely but best boy over here pulled him out and taught him again the reason why he skated. I really loved that scene because when you look at Adam at a overview level he’s just a perv on a board but when getting at his core it’s someone striving to do the best to gain validation that he desperately needs while forgetting himself and his reasons to skate. Like Langa really set him back on track to face his past that he so desperately tries to hide. I can’t describe what if made me feel but dude was it a ride.

Now at the end of the race you can’t tell me the way that Langa looked at Reki and hugged him wasn’t a sign of some love. I just need them to get together canonically. The rest of the possie was also really happy for the win and cared that he got out alive. Adam making up with Tadashi was also cute like mans finally accepted he got lost in the sauce. Now for last little clips of the episode were so cute. Langa enjoying his burger at his party was augh my heart while Adam was making a flashy entrance as always and I felt so bad for our evil clown simp shadow for finally gaining courage to ask the lady boss out just to find out she was taken like sir you good. Miya stopping cherry from hurting the little pet for sleeping on top of Carla was funny as the boss of the skate shop looked scared. Reki teaching his little sisters to skate and discovering the eldest sister is pretty good at it makes me think that he is so gonna try to get her hooked on it. Seeing Cherry and Joe have their last little bicker on screen is really making me realize that this is the end. Lastly Miya being all happy after the other kid talked to him makes me want to keep him in my pocket despite me being only 2 years older than him.

Okay but they really did the red head chick leave without finishing her case like what?! She was working so hard on it I was so ready for her to bust Adams ass but in the end he sold his partner in crime out and stopping most of the consequences like y’all did her dirty. Anyways I really need a season 2 of the main possies shenanigans like what sort of new s beefs will they do if it even continues or what is Langa and Rekis skate track like. How often do they come together I need answers. Well it’s time for the final words this post is already really long and those who actually read it all thank you. I will really miss waiting each week for a new episode it literally became a solid part of my schedule. What am I supposed to feed my skateboard addiction with now, I can’t get an actual board so I’m stuck, but you know what that means time to rewatch it. I don’t know what I’ll post now that it’s over but I’ll figure it out. I might do icons or wallpapers maybe fan art that is if I even find the motivation to post again. Anyways thanks for seeing my rants I’ll post screenshots again so bye bye

[alipeeps]

New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game

Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D

There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).

[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]

I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:

So... without further ado:

1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)! 

2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)

3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)

4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.  

5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).

6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.

7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).

8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”

I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.

8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....

It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.

9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D 

10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)

11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D

12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.

12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.

13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.

14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).

15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.

16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped! 

17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D 

18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.

19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!

20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D

21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!

He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D

21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.

22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.

23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine. 

24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D

Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!

I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy​, @arlothia​, @howdydowdy​, @thepromiseweheldforlife​ and @the-wandering-whumper​!

[impala666]

The Hot Nanny Part 1

Hi there! So this was a request for Joey to be secretly dating Chandler’s sister but use the hot nanny from season 9 episode 12 as a front so that Joey can sneak off to be with Reader!Bing. But since I am watching the episode as I write it is taking me longer than I expected so I am going to make it into a couple of parts. I love Friends so much and I love writing it, so thank you for this request!!!!

It had been about 3 months since your little thing with Joey started. Of course before when you first moved to New York nothing happened because you were new to the city and you came to live with your brother of all people, so of course nothing happened while Chandler was still living with his best friend. Throughout the years Joey and you had always subtly flirted back and forth and there was the lingering touches and looks. Also of course when you dated any guy Joey seemed to get in a mood that you knew was jealousy but he would never admit. But then Chandler and Monica’s wedding rolled around, things happened. During the reception both you and Joey got drunk, because it was a wedding, then the next thing you knew you were waking up to each other without any clothes. Both of you freaked out and could not be in the same room as each other without it being awkward since the both of you promised to never do it again, but later that same night you found yourself in bed with Joey, again. So the both of you decided to stop fighting and become boyfriend and girlfriend, but the both of you didn’t want to keep it a secret but you needed to. Chandler would have a stroke if he found out, the first time he introduced the both of you he made it very clear to Joey that you were off limits. But you were your own person and you liked Joey a lot, and he liked you; he even let you share his food sometimes. But only sometimes. 

*******

When you were about to get off of work Joey ended up calling, and you were thankful that you answered because if your boss answered and heard that your boyfriend was calling again you would no longer have a head. But regardless, Joey asked you to meet him and Central Perk, but you had gotten off of work late and you knew that the longer it took you to get to the coffee shop the more likely it was to run into the other people of your group since they always seemed to be there. So as you walked down the street and saw Central Perk in your sights, a bright smile came to your face. You had been at work all day and your feet were killing you, all you wanted was one night out with your secret boyfriend and be able to act like a real couple. Of course the universe couldn’t grant you that little bit of peace with your man when you got up to the door you saw your brother Chandler sitting on the couch next to Joey and your smile fell. At least you got to see Joey at all, who was sitting on the far end of the couch, next to Chandler.

“Hey, guys!” You cheerily greeted as you walked into the building and making your way over to the arm chair. 

“Hey.” They both greeted, your brother not really thinking anything of it and didn’t look up. But Joey looked at you with a little sadness and confusion, probably wondering why you were late. “How was work?” Chandler asked.

“Long, exhausting. I got off late, but I’m glad I have the weekend off to do nothing.” You tiredly smiled at the boys as you settled into your chair.

“You forgot about Rachel’s birthday party tonight, didn’t you?” Chandler smiled at you, knowing that you had forgotten. 

“Yes! Oh my God, I need coffee,” you whined at your exhaustion as you covered your eyes with your hand, as if that would make you wake up. 

“Here,” Chandler sat forward and patted you on the knee before getting up from his seat. “I’ll get it for you.” You furrowed your eyebrows and looked up at him slowly taking your hand away from your eyes. 

“You’re gonna get me coffee? Are you having a stroke?” You asked.

“No, I’m just feeling nice so, shhh.” Chandler told you before quickly turning around to go to the counter. As soon as Chandler had his back turned Joey slid over on the couch, you sat up in your seat, and Joey quickly pecked you on your lips. Which helped but you would need a little bit more if you were gonna get through this party tonight, not that you didn’t like parties or Rachel, as a matter of fact you loved Rachel like a sister. But work was killing you lately and you were exhausted. 

“What the hell happened?” Joey asked after he moved kind of away from you, but his hand was still on your neck. So you took his big hand in your little one and held it in your lap as you gave him an apologetic look. “You were supposed to be here half an hour ago.” Joey whined like a little child which you loved. 

“I know, I’m so sorry.” You kissed his hand before continuing. “When I was about to get off my boss caught me on the phone with you and made me stay late. I tried to hurry because I knew if I took any longer everyone else would show up. But Joey, I’m sorry and I’ll make it up to you. Plus since I worked last night, I have all day with you.” You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. “After Rachel’s party I can sneak over?” You asked hopefully. Joey’s smile grew as he kissed your knuckle and looked you right in the eye, which made you blush.

“Yes, please,” he was nearly shaking. He was so excited. 

“Ok, it’s a plan. Get back over there! Chandler’s turning around!” You whisper yelled as Joey jumped away from you like your hand was on fire and went back to the seat he was originally sitting in when you got there. 

“Alright, one cup of joe.” Chandler smiled at himself for doing something nice as he handed you the mug of hot caffeine. You don’t know how Chandler missed it but after he sat back down Joey and you kept giving each other looks. The type where he was smirking like he already got lucky and you kept smiling at him from under your eyelashes.

However, the secret moment was very brief when Ross, Rachel with Emma, and some woman walked into the coffee shop. Chandler, Joey, and yourself started to sing happy birthday to her. “Shh, don’t say that loud, Gunther’s gonna wanna hug me.” She warned all of you, not that you could blame her. The bleach blonde man had been in love with her for as long as you could remember. 

“Good news everyone, we finally found a nanny.” Ross happily announced. “Everyone this is Molly. This is Chandler, Joey, and Chandler’s younger sister Y/N.”

“Hi, Molly, it’s nice to meet you.” You happily greeted her with a friendly smile and a slight wave. 

“Hi,” she greeted back. But before any of you could talk, Emma started getting a little loud.

“Oop, looks like someone’s fussy.” Ross announced to everyone as he turned to take the infant from Rachel.

“You damn right I am, I’ve been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.” Joey whined, thinking Ross was talking about him. But when Joey looked over at you with your head cocked to the side with a small smile he realized that Ross was talking about Emma. 

“Alright, you know what. I’m just gonna take her outside.” Rachel said as she rocked Emma to try and calm her down. You reached over for a magazine from the coffee table to read as you heard Molly say that she would take Emma outside for Rachel. 

“Nice to meet you guys,” Molly said to each of you as she and Emma turned to make their way outside. 

“Wow!” Rachel clapped happily, “Molly’s really great.” You smiled and nodded as you turned to look back down at the article you were reading, but what you heard happen next made you forget what you were reading to look up and give Joey a secret warning glare. 

“Yes, Ross, kudos on the hot nanny.” You could easily believe that Chandler would say something like that and maybe even Joey. Maybe back when he was you know, single. But there he was sitting there with his dumb and adorable smile as he nodded in agreement. 

“What? You think she’s hot?” You asked you brushed a piece of hair behind your ear. Even though they were both taking this question, you and Joey both knew that it was aimed at him. You weren’t an overly jealous person, plus you knew that Joey loved you like you were made of gold. But Molly was cute, plus you were in a secret relationship, you just needed to make sure. 

“Are you kiddin? If I wasn’t married she would be rejecting as we speak.” Chandler spoke honestly. 

“Shocking,” you gasped sarcastically. Behind you Racel started chuckling at the dirty minded men. 

“Joey?” Rachel spoke up asking for his opinion. You tried to remain casual, but as you waited for his answer you didn’t realize that you were very roughly flipped the pages of the magazine on your lap as you stared at him, but Joey wouldn’t look at you.

“How do you think she’s doing?” Joey asked in his typical fashion as he still stared at the doorway that the nanny exited through. 

“Am I the only one that doesn’t think she’s hot?” Rachel asked.

“Nope, you are most certainly not the only one.” You looked up at her and both of you smiled at each other in appreciation. 

“Ross? Rachel asked, but Ross could tell he needed to answer correctly with Rachel asking him and the way that you were staring up at him.

“Nah,” he answered in a high pitched voice. “I mean she’s not unattractive, but uh hot, ehh.” Ross shrugged. You knew he was lying based on how he was acting, but Ross wasn’t the one that you were sleeping with. 

“Thank you,” Rachel chuckled as she went to go grab herself some coffee. 

“Now that Rachel’s gone?” Chandler asked as Ross decided to take a seat on the armrest of the chair that you were sitting on. 

“So hot, I cried myself to sleep last night.” Ross admitted even though he knew that you were right there. But while you rolled your eyes all the way up to your brain, your boyfriend and brother started applauding Ross’s reaction. But you couldn’t help but notice Joey, he noticed how upset you got and immediately stopped clapping. 

********

Throughout the day you kind of just stayed holed up in your apartment, one because you were exhausted from night shift, and two because you were confused about Joey and the way he acted toward Molly. You knew that you had to talk to him, but you just needed the time to think it through yourself. You were in a secret relationship, so maybe it was just a way for him to seem normal. After all, Joey hitting on anything with legs is normal unfortunately for you. But you would never really know until you talked to him.

But later when you managed to get to Central Perk people were there again. Ross, Monica, and your brother were all sitting on the couch. And there he was, Joey was talking to Molly as she bounced Emma on her hip. You rolled your eyes and lightly put a hand on Joey’s shoulder to get by and to a chair at the table by the couch with your coffee in hand. “Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.” Joey blurted out in total wonder.

“You mean when you were baby,” Molly thought she was finishing for him. 

“Sure,” Joey gave a simple not as shrug as he just smiled at her making you scoff. But you didn’t know that you were so loud.

“Everything alright, Y/N?” Monica asked you, noticing that you were a little bit down.

“Huh?” You questioned looking up at her. “Oh, yep. I just had something in my throat but I’m fine, thanks Mon.” She smiled at you before turning to Chandler who hadn’t taken his eyes off of Molly since you got there. 

“Would you stop staring at her?” She asked her weak minded husband. 

“I wasn’t staring, I was leering.” Chandler tried to make it better but it didn’t work.

“Same thing,” Chandler just looked at you with his mouth open so you shot him a quick smile. 

“What’s the big deal with her?” Monica asked, trying to see what the men saw, but she was just as confused as you and Rachel. “Maybe she’s attractive in an obvious way,”

“Yeah, obvious beauty’s the worst.” Ross commented dully and sarcastically. “You know when it’s right there in your face. Me, I like to work to find someone attractive, makes me feel like I earned it.” Ross through a fist pump in the air for dramatic affect. It was a reflex or something, but you couldn’t help but lightly smack him on the arm. 

“Looks like Joey’s doing alright with her.” Nobody noticed it, but when Chandler said those words it made you nauseous and want to cry at the same time, all you’ve wanted these last few days was to be alone with Joey, but he was flirting with some hot nanny. You quietly scoffed this time and hid your face down. 

“Yeah, it was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.” Monica joked, but you couldn’t find it funny. You didn’t notice that Molly was leaving, but you did see Joey sit next to you and saw his hand tap your hand lightly. You looked up at him and his facial expression asked if you were okay, but you just shrugged. But Ross trying to baby talk made you look away from Ross, but Molly complemented it so all three of them started doing it. 

“Listen, Joey. About Molly, I’d really prefer it if you didn’t go after her.” Ross asked Joey seriously. But Joey just had to ask him why. “Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn’t want anything to, you know. Drive her away.” 

“So, you think I’m just going to sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable?” Joey couldn’t help but ask even though it was his exact nature.  “Yeah that sounds about right.” Apparently he realized, but at that point you had had enough even though Ross told Joey that Molly was off limits.

“Okay, guys. I gotta go.” You tried to hurry out and hide the tears that were trying to fall, but when you accidentally looked down at Joey after you got up. You know he saw your face.

“Where’re you going? You okay?” Chandler asked as he watched you quickly walk around the couch.

“Yeah, I’m just tired, so I’m going home to rest, I’ll see you guys later.” You hurried to finish your sentence so you could race out of there like a bat out of hell. 

There was nothing more that Joey wanted to do but race after you when he saw that you were gonna cry because of him, but if he wanted the other guys to not know what was going on then Joey was going to have to act like himself when he was single. He just needed to find a way to get to you to make up for what he did and explain to you why he was doing it. 

[mirkwoodshewolf]

My #1 fan; Ben Hardy x child sister reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well here I am with yet another BoRhap boy story, this time it's of Ben Hardy (god it's been FOREVER since I wrote a story of Benny boi) but here it is. Now this is a Big Brother!Ben fic so unlike the last time there is NO ROMANCE, JUST FLUFFY PLATONIC GOODNESS THAT I CAN DISH UP!!!! Also in this fic I would like to point out that I do NOT OWN WORLD OF DANCE!! IT BELONGS TO J-LO AND NBC and all the people involved with the making of this amazing dance competition (if you haven't heard of it, go check it out the recent season is out NOW!!) Also watch the video links (from actual previous competitors on the show) to get a feel of what I'm seeing for the dances cause I am NOT  dancer so I do not know all the moves that you dancers do out there, but I hope you all still enjoy this fic :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queensdivas

@platawnic

@queendeakyy

@geek-and-proud

@kairosfreddie

@iambambi5

______________________________________________________________

God it feels like it’s been forever since we’ve seen each other.  From the time I got my first real American movie role in X-men Apocalypse, everything just seemed to fold right before me.  From my biggest success of Bohemian Rhapsody (where I became best friends with probably the three greatest guys in the world), followed by the Netflix movie 6 Underground with Ryan Reynolds (and yes he’s just as hilarious and humble as he presents himself).

My life has just exploded from there, I try to be home whenever I can but when I do, she’s just as busy as I am.  

Now that things have calmed down on my end and she’s preparing for an upcoming audition on a dance show, I can finally take the time to go see her (especially now since I’m in LA where she’s to audition). God I haven’t seen her in years, I wonder how she’s been?

“BENJAMIN!!!” Joe’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned to him.

“Hmm what?”

“Geez mate you were really out of it back there. We’ve been trying to get your attention for like 10 minutes.” Gwil said as he sipped his beer.

“Oh sorry guys, I was just—thinking.”

“And just who was it that had your attention so badly that you tuned out from the rest of the world?” teased Rami.

“Benjamin Hardy are you cheating on me!? Oh my god you’re cheating! Who is it! What’s their name!?” Joe accused me.  I rolled my eyes as I shoved him.

“Is it a girl?” Rami asked.

“Oh great. Now I gotta get breast implants just to get you to notice me.” Joked Joe.  We all looked at him strangely and I said.

“Not in that way, but yes I am thinking about a girl. My sister actually.”

“Your sister? You—never mentioned a sister before.” Gwil said.

“I kinda like to keep her separate from my name.”

“What you guys don’t get along?” asked Joe.

“No, no we get along amazingly. We’re each other’s #1 fans. But ever since Bohemian Rhapsody everyone now knows my name. I don’t want people comparing the two of us and making her feel like I’m outshining her. That’s one of the other reasons why I changed my last name from Jones to Hardy.”

“Is she an actress too?” Rami asked with a head tilt.

“No, no. She’s a dancer actually.”

“A dancer? Fancy.” Joe said in a posh accent.

“What kind of dancing does she do?” Gwil said.

“Mostly contemporary. But she also does ballet and a bit of Hip-hop. This one competition she was on, she actually combined ballet and hip-hop together. Got 1st place for it, and was the youngest winner to ever win the Glasgow dance competition.” They all whistled.

“She must be good then, how old is she?”

“She was 7 years old.” They all gaped at me.

“You’re joking right?” Joe said with wide eyes and a gaped mouth.

“No, not at all. In fact in her ballet school where she trains, she’s actually the youngest student to have been chosen to get a full run scholarship to the London Academy for Dance. Once she’s 12 years old, they’ll give her the full ride.”

“Wait, wait, wait. How old is she now?” Gwil asked.

“She’s nine.”

“So they’re gonna hold onto her scholarship for another three years?” Rami said.  I nodded.

“Damn she must be good for them to do that.” Joe said with a sigh.

“She is. Fell in love with dancing at 2 years old and did her first pirouette within the first three months of joining her ballet school.”

“Geez, and my sister couldn’t do one till she was about 9.”

“Guess my sister’s got yours beat.” I teased to Joe.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah don’t rub it in.”

“So Ben, when was the last time you saw her?”

“Five years.” I said as I sipped my beer solemnly.

“Wait what? You haven’t seen your sister in five years!?” Joe gawked.

“I told you guys, ever since X-men it’s been one project after another. And even when I did have a break, she was out of state doing a competition either with her school or as a soloist. But—hopefully that’ll change in the next few weeks. She’s actually here in LA.”

“She is?” Rami said.  I nodded.

“Yeah. She’s auditioning for some sort of dance show they film here.”

“So you think you can dance is doing a junior competition now?” asked Joe.

“No not that one. It’s a recent one. They’ve only done like 3 or 4 seasons of it. I think it’s called Dancing world…..no World of Dance. That’s it.”

“Oh that show is awesome! I’ve auditioned for that show.” Joe bragged.

“No you haven’t.” Rami exclaimed at Joe’s lie.

“I’m serious I auditioned during their first 2 seasons. Couldn’t commit cause of obvious reasons.”

“I’m calling BS on that.” Gwil said as he leaned back.

“Uhh excuse me; who got the part of the Disco Deacy? Me. Who perfected the BAB dance? Me. I’m perfectly qualified to be a dancer. In fact why don’t we go see your little sis and she can be the judge!”

“What?”

“You heard me, right now! Let’s go see her!” Joe said as he downed his drink and stood up.

“Hang on guys……”

“Well besides of Joe’s reason, I think it’d be fair for us to meet your little sis. I mean we’ve practically seen each other’s siblings. You all met my twin Sami and my sis Jasmine.”

“I agree with Rami, and you all met my older brother at my engagement party.”

“And of course you all met John and Mary at the BoRhap premiere.” At this rate I knew I wasn’t going to win this argument.

“Fine. I—guess I’ll call up my mum and ask her where she’s rehearsing at.” I just hope (y/n) doesn’t mind having my friends come and see her rehearse.

Cause when she’s in rehearsal mode, she can be quite the little jumpy bug.

*My POV*

Two days.  I had two days till the Qualifier rounds for World of Dance.  I had my routine down to the T and my mum says it’s perfect (but she has to say that she’s my mum), however I’m still doubting myself on some of the moves, or if I’m not showing enough emotion (cause J-Lo loves herself some dancers who can convey emotion).

I was sitting in the rehearsal room having myself a break after rehearsing my dance for the past half hour.  I had this studio slotted for a 45min. rehearsal so I had about 15 minutes left to practice.

“I swear each time you dance your routine, you get more graceful every time.” Mum said as she came in with some lunch.

“Thanks mum, but is it good enough for the judges?”

“I know it is.” I chose not to respond to her. Like I said she has to say these things, but I know there are some flaws to my dance.  I didn’t stick the landing hard enough, I tripped up on the landing from the 540, my leg wasn’t straight enough with I lifted it outward, so many flaws. “Oh I forgot, there’s a little surprise waiting for you downstairs.”

“Mum I—I don’t know. I mean I haven’t even found out if I’ll make it into the next round.”

“Trust me love, you’ll like this surprise.” She raced over to the door and opened it and soon coming in my brother and his three friends from his film Bohemian Rhapsody.

“Benny!” I cheered as I hopped off my seat and raced right over to him.  A huge smile spread across his face as he extended his arms out and caught me as he picked me up and spun me around.

“Hey kiddo oh it’s been forever! Oh you’ve gotten so big since I last saw you.”

“I missed you Benny.”

“I missed you too kiddo. God you have no idea how much I missed you.” he said as he repeatedly kissed the top of my head.

“Your brother happened to be in LA so we planned a little surprise visit for you.” mum said as she closed the door.

“And I hope you don’t mind that I brought a few friends over.” Ben said as he gestured towards the three actors who starred with him on Bohemian Rhapsody.

“I don’t mind. I’ve heard so much about these guys that I figured it’s about time I met them in person.” He set me down and I walked up to the actor who played the legendary Freddie Mercury. “Rami Malek, right?”

“That is correct, and you must be his famous little dancing sister.”

“Well I wouldn’t call myself famous yet, but I hope to be one day.” We shook hands with each other.  I then moved onto the next one, the tallest out of all of them who even looked like Brian May even without the wig. “Now forgive me if I pronounce your name wrong, my Welsh isn’t that great. Is it—Gwilym.” I pronounced the “I” like I was saying “ice cream”.

“Close, it’s pronounced Gwilym. Think of the “wi” like will.”

“Right, sorry.”

“No worries—(Y/n) right?”

“Yeah.” We both shook hands with each other and I told him, “Can I just say, I thought you were phenomenal as Brian May.”

“Well thank you love, I take it you’re a Queen fan as well?”

“Yeah. You can thank Benny for that. He introduced me to the band when I was a little girl. I even did a dance routine to White Queen when I was around 4-5 years old.”

“Wow, if you remember it, we’d sure like to see it.” Rami said.

“I think I might remember it. Again it was a while ago so I might improvise something if I don’t remember the whole routine.”

“No problem there.” Rami said with a warm smile. I then moved on to the last actor who played (my personal favorite member of Queen, John Deacon).

“So you’re the famous Joe Mazzello that my brother won’t shut up about.”

“Sure am kid. And you’re the world time dance champion and scholarship holder for the best London dance academy ehh?”

“You could say that.”

“Well little missy I happen to be a dance champion too, and I challenge you to a dance off!” Already I could see Ben, Gwilym and Rami either shaking their heads or rolling their eyes as Joe’s proclamation.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with my brother would it?”

“And if it is?” questioned Joe in a challenging manner.

“No reason.” I shrugged. “Just hope you’re prepared to lose.” The guys all oooh in a challenging manner and that’s when Joe nodded along.

“Okay, okay little one. But I’m giving it all I got so you better watch out.” I gestured that the dancefloor was all his.  Gwil went over to the stereo and went through my Spotify app till he found the song that Joe wanted to dance to.

He chose Wham’s ‘Wake me up before you go-go’. I’ll admit he has some pretty good moves—for an amateur.  After doing a minute and a half of his little on the spot dance moves, he posed as he panted heavily.

“It was okay.” I shrugged.

“Okay?”

“Yeah I mean—it was…..cute. It was cute. For like an Instagram or TikTok video.”

“Okay then little miss Prima donna. Show me your little ballet moves.” Challenged Joe.  Oh he don’t know me very well, do he? I first took off my ballet shoes and put on my sneakers.

I told Gwilym which song to play and he nodded to me that he would wait till I was ready before he played the song.  I now stood in the middle of the room and took a deep breath before turning to Gwilym.  He nodded and pressed his finger on my phone to play the song and soon YG’s “One time coming” began playing.

Play video

With this song I unleashed my Hip-hop background. Poppin and locking my body when needed, going in time with the beat, even doing things with my limbs to which no one had ever seen (like this one move where I had my right arm out and only by moving my left index finger, either the upper or lower portion of my arm would move up).

The guys and my mum were amazed and just in awe at my dancing.  And when I did a little patterned tip-toe strut with my arms tucked in like duck wings, did I hear the guys exclaim and just flip out.  When my minute and a half dance break was over, I flipped my hair towards Joe telling him that he got owned.

In pure defeat, Joe collapsed to the ground and lay there dead while my brother came up and hoisted me onto his shoulder.

“The winner and undefeated champion of the dance. (Y/n) Jones!” I bowed and thanked the guys and my mum as they cheered. Benny set me back down on the ground just as Joe finally came up and revived himself.  I stood before him and he said.

“You surprise me kiddo. I accept defeat. Benjamin is yours.”

“Well he is my brother. But—we can share him.” At hearing that, Joe took me in his arms and spun me around thanking me repeatedly.

“Do you think whenever we get some free time, could you show me some stuff. I really liked that little tip-toe strut.”

“I learned it from a friend of mine whose into Hip-hop back at my school. In fact he competed on the first season of World of Dance he and his group. They didn’t win but they got to the Semi-finals.”

“That’s awesome. You really are the dance master. And I can’t wait to see what you bring to the World of Dance stage.”

“In fact (Y/n), can we see your routine?” asked Ben.

“Yeah I was just about to ask that. Ben’s told us that while you can combine certain genres of dance, your main focus was on contemporary. I’ve always been intrigued anytime someone says they’re a contemporary dancer.” Gwilym said.  I turned to my mum and asked her how long did I have for rehearsal.

When she told me five minutes, I knew I could show them my audition routine that I had planned.  But after that we had to leave cause the next group to come in had to set up their things and warmup.  

The guys all took a seat along the mirrored wall while my mum handled the music.

Once my song began playing, I did my entire routine before the guys.  Showing Ben’s friends that while I can unleash the beast in Hip-hop, I can be as graceful and elegant as a swan.

After the routine was done, I got a standing ovation from all four of the guys as they applauded and whistled.  I gathered up my stuff and as I did, the guys all swarmed around me telling me what an amazing job I did, and that for some of the *cough*Joe*cough* I had them crying by the end of my routine.

We then left the dance studio and Ben’s friends allowed us to have our own personal family time (since Ben and I hadn’t seen each other in literally five years).  We said our goodbyes and soon our mum took us out to eat as sorta a family reunion/congratulations on all of our combined successes.

It was time.  The World of Dance qualifier rounds.  Today was my filming date and I knew in several weeks they would soon air it on TV worldwide.  Now I have performed in front of crowd before, but this—this was something else.

And not to even make me twice as nervous, I have seen what people comment on the show or the specific dancers.  Most of them are nice comments but then again it’s the Internet so there’s bound to be haters out there.

This one girl from last season just a few years older than me got so much hate in fact, that she ended up shutting down her Twitter page and I’m told she gave up on dancing all together.  I don’t know what I’m gonna do if that ends up being me.

I was running my routine through my head and stretching myself out.  With me to support me was my mum, Ben and Ben’s friends of Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami, Gwil and Joe.  With each dancing group or person that went up, I got more and more nervous.  Soon a producer came up to me and said.

“(Y/n), you’ll be on up after The Jumperz.”

“Okay, thank you.” I told him.  He nodded and walked away from me, at that moment I felt like I wanted to puke.

“Hey kiddo, how’s it going?” I looked up to see Ben standing over me.

“Good, very good.” He sat down beside me, his brow furrowed with concern.  Crap he knows, he always knows.

“You sure?” at this point I knew I couldn’t hide it anymore.  I tucked my legs into my chest and curled myself into a ball.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore Ben.”

“What do you mean?” he questioned.

“Maybe this whole thing was a mistake. Can we go home? Yeah, yeah let’s go home.” I said as I stood up.

“Now hold on, hold on love.” He took my hand into his stopping me from even walking away. “Let’s just sit down and talk about it real quick.” He stood up and we went outside of the room and stood along the hallway.

I leaned up against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest protectively and my leg bouncing with anxiety.

“Talk to me sis, what’s going on?”

“I just……I’m scared Ben. I don’t know why I am, I’ve performed in front of an audience before, I don’t know why I’m this nervous. It’s stupid I know.”

“Hey, hey, hey. No it’s not.” He said to me gently as he cupped my face, trying his best to not ruin my makeup. “You’re human, you have every right to be nervous. I’ll bet not a single one of these dancers you’re competing against isn’t feeling what you’re feeling now. And some of these guys might’ve been with well-known performers and are still feeling the nerves.”

“Is it always this nerve wracking for you every time you film something?” he nodded.

“Of course it is. I’m always worried about people’s reactions to me on screen. Even with all the positive feedback I get, I always keep my eye focused on that one negative outlook, no matter how many people say I’m good in a role.”

“I just don’t want the haters to pull me away from my dream like they did to that one dancer that came on the show last season.”

“Come here, have a seat in my lap.” He sat down on the floor and guided me till I was now sitting on his lap, holding me like a teddy bear. “There will always be haters and trolls out there in the world. That’s just what they get off of, is by bringing other people down, especially kids who go on shows like this. It’s wrong and vile but I won’t say you won’t encounter some hate. But the one thing you must keep in mind; is to never, ever let them dictate on who you are as a person.”

“Do you think I can do that?”

“Absolutely. You’re incredibly talented, you’re smart, kind, the most talented person I’ve ever met. I mean yeah I can dance but nowhere near to the level that you can. Hell you even beat out Joe in that little dance competition when you first met him a couple days ago.”

“I did do that, didn’t I?” he chuckled.

“You schooled him.”

“Ben no one says that anymore.”

“Whatever I’m a 90’s kid that was the lingo back then.”

“Back in the ancient times.” He scoffed.

“Alright miss smart-aleck I guess since you’re feeling well enough to sass me off you don’t need me anymore.” He plopped me off his lap and went to stand up but I gripped his shirt and begged.

“No Benny please!” all I could hear was his soft laughter.  I hit his arm and pouted. “You are so mean!”

“Aww sissy, you know I can’t help but be a little cheeky with you.” he teased as he playfully nudged my shoulder with his arm. I smiled and nodded.

“Yeah I know cause that’s your job.”

“It is my job. Well one of the many qualifications of being your Big Brother. The most important one though, is to be there for you when you need it.” He stroked the top of my head and I hugged him.

“Thanks Ben. I’m glad that you could be here.”

“Me too. And hey, accepted or not. I’m proud of all that you’ve done in your dancing career.” He whispered in my ear as he gave me a snug embrace.  

After our little bro-sis cuddle, we separated from each other and he asked me, “Do you still feel nervous?”

“A little but not as much.”

“Okay so there are two options we can do here; we can shake out the nerves, or my favorite—I can tickle them out of you.”

“No Ben you’ll ruin my costume!” I whined out as he chuckled.

“Okay, so we’ll shake them out then.” We both stood up and did our nerve shakeout.

Which was basically what he learned in theatre which was just shaking out your hands and feet counting backwards from 10, but each time we’d count, we’d go a bit faster.  Once we got one, Ben picked me up and spun me around before setting me down.

“Better?”

“Better.”

“Good, oh wait one last thing before you go out, gotta shake out those negative thoughts in that brain of yours.” He cupped my face in his hands and playfully shook my head around as he growled out in an angry tone, “Get out of my sister’s head you dirty rotter’s!”

“Ben!” I laughed.  He stopped as he grinned down at me.

“Had to make sure. You look beautiful, and I know you’re gonna wow everyone out there, especially the judges.”

“Thanks Benny. I love you.”

“Love you too kiddo.” He gave my nose a peck before escorting me back into the dance room.  A producer was calling out my name, I looked up at Ben and he nodded to me before I went racing off towards the producer to tell him I was here.

When he saw me, he guided me towards the corridor where I would walk down, go up the stairs and racing across towards the stage. I could hear the chanting claps of the audience and their cheers and soon I heard the announcer say through the speaker.

“Give it up, for (Y/n) Jones.” I raced across the corridor, took the steps two at a time before racing across the catwalk towards the stage.  As soon as I came on stage, everyone cheered and soon I was standing before Ne-Yo, Derek Hough, and Jennifer Lopez.  They greeted me with waves or nods and I waved to them.

“Hello sweetie.” Jennifer greeted me.

“Hi.” I waved back to her.

“Why don’t you tell us your name?”

“My name is (Y/n) Jones and I’m from London, England.”

“Oh a British Dancer. Finally someone from the UK.” Derek proclaimed.

“So how old are you?” Ne-Yo asked me.

“I just turned nine last month.” At that the crowd cheered for me and that’s when Ne-Yo said.

“Well happy belated birthday.”

“Thank you Ne-Yo.” He winked at me and said to me.

“Let’s see what you got (Y/n).” I nodded and handed my microphone to one of the assistants before racing off towards the back of the stage as the lights went down.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in before exhaling slowly.  This was it, make it or break it.

*Ben’s POV*

From backstage, my mum, the guys and I along with the other dancers could watch and see what was going on stage.  I pressed my hands together in a prayer motion as I had them against my lips, c’mon little sis I know you can do it.

*Play video*

Her song routine, Ashes by Celine Dion soon came on through the speakers and she began her routine.  The lights softly lit up in a sunrise color of yellow, orange, and purple.  She truly shined as her dance went on, going slow when she needed before finally sticking the landing or going with the beat of the song.

That entire stage was hers to command and she used the entirety of that stage for her routine.  I could hear the judges voices sound impressed with my sister’s routine, especially once the chorus struck and the hard drumbeats of the song kicked in.

The crowd was just in awe and applauded my sister, dazzled by her grace yet strength she was giving them in her performance.  Doing her 540’s, leg lifts, front flips, she was like the Freddie Mercury of dancing on that stage as she showed her true colors on that stage, especially as it lit up with her as the song got more powerful.

By the end of it when she stood up and just gave that pleading face of help as she reached out towards J-Lo, the lights went dark and the entire audience went nuts.  

“That was even amazing with the lights.” Said Joe.

“Agreed, she really lit that stage up.” Rami agreed.

“That’s our girl.” Mum said as I wrapped my arm around her.

“Alright, alright, alright, alright (Y/n). Now remind me how old you are?” Derek said.

“I just turned nine.” At that point Derek stood up from his chair flipping his pen which made everyone laugh. “Girl you look like you’ve been doing this for 20 years.” Everyone laughed.

“How old were you when you got into dancing?” asked J-Lo.

“I was 2.” (y/n) responded.

“Well it shows that you definitely have a passion for this. And you literally have been doing this your whole life. Just seeing you being able to do moves that—I couldn’t even do at your age till I was much older, that to me…..shows you have true love for dancing. And you already gave me goosies little missy and we just met you.”

“Uh-oh Jennifer with her goosies.” Ne-Yo said.

“She gave them to me, the goosies do not lie!”

“No they do not.” Derek said before he continued, “But just like Jennifer said. I mean my sister and I we did some contemporary a bit as kids but nowhere could we master it down just like you’ve done (Y/n). And that final move where you just landed right on your knees. I literally jumped from my seat.”

“Yeah it was like you had no bones little miss.” Ne-Yo said as my sister smiled and laughed. “Besides from what both Derek and Jennifer has said. Your timing is what really stuck out to me. Like it was like you were a part of the song itself. Like first you’d be like all smooth and fluid when the beat was gentle. But when the drumbeat kicked in hard with boom- boom boom-boom. That right there is what really stuck out to me.”

“I completely agree.” Derek said.

“Alright we’re gonna lock in our scores and we’ll see if you make it to the duels (Y/n).” J-Lo said with a smile. (Y/n) nodded and that’s when the lights dimmed down on her and we watched as the three judges locked in their scores, while making their silent commentaries to each other.

“Okay (Y/n), you need an 88 or above to qualify for the duels, let’s see what you scored.” The host said as he came out and stood beside my sister.  The lights shown down (like those game show lights whenever something gets suspenseful).

First up was Derek’s score; he gave her an 90.

At that my sister made a face of shock as her smile widened and she covered her mouth in shock.  The crowd cheered and up next was Ne-Yo’s score.

He gave her an 89.  Finally J-Lo’s score was a 92.  When the scores rounded up together was 90.3.  Her score shined up on the ceiling scoreboard and (Y/n) couldn’t believe it, poor sissy was even crying.

“Congratulations (Y/n) you made it to the Duels. How’s it feel?” the host asked as he held his microphone to her.

“It feel just—absolutely amazing. All three of you have been an inspiration to be in wanting to become a dancer and this just means so much to me. Thank you for letting me get this opportunity.”

“We can’t wait to see what you bring us, cause already little Miss, you’ve got the competitive edge. It better only get better from here on out.” Ne-Yo told her.  She nodded and thanked the judges one last time before running off the stage.

As she came running towards us, I had to be the first one she saw.  I cheered for her as I opened my arms out for her and she raced towards me before leaping right into my arms.  I spun her around as the two of us laughing joyously.

“You did it kiddo! I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks to you Ben. I kept thinking about what you said, I dedicated my performance to you.” I felt myself tear up as I buried my face into her ponytailed hair.

“I would’ve been proud of you either way.” At this point the rest of the guys as well as our mum came up and congratulated her.

That night we celebrated her victory on making it to the next round of World of Dance.  Drinks for me and the guys, we danced, sung some karaoke, and just partied all night long.

[rocksandrobots]

Of Rocks and Robots Ch.29 - Apologies

This is the last of the 'PSA' arc and the last chapter to discuss underage drinking

Varian awoke with his head pounding, his stomach rolling, and a bad taste in his mouth. He brought his hand to his eyes to try and rub the soreness away and to block out the sunlight peeking through his bedroom window. No doubt Hiro and Baymax had brought him home last night, not that he could remember it.

Varian had only experienced a hangover once before in his life. At thirteen, he had wanted to prove himself a man and so had tried to join in with older men of the village during the harvest festival while they made toasts to celebrate the end of a long hard season. His father had been too busy to notice. It had been a fruitless exercise that only brought him shame and sicknesses. As he had laid in bed the next morning, Quirin just gave a weary sigh and said,"I hope you've learned your lesson, son." and then turned away to attend to his duties.

If only he had. What was wrong with him? Oh, why didn't he ever learn?

Varian groaned and dragged himself out of bed, swallowing hard to keep his stomach down. There was no sense hiding away in his room; the sooner he got this over with the better.

                                                ---------------------------

Hiro made his way down the stairs as Baymax hobbled along behind him. He entered the kitchen and then stopped in his tracks. Varian sat at the end of the table nursing his head in his hands as he brooded over a cup of coffee.

Hiro didn't know what to say or do. He didn't want to start another argument and he really didn't want Varian to run off again. So he just ignored the other teen as he went about fixing himself some breakfast.

Hiro felt like he was walking on eggshells as he scurried about. He kept casting wary glances back at the other boy as he poured himself a bowl of cereal, but Varian didn't move nor acknowledge that Hiro was even there.

"You are suffering from dehydration due to the consumption of alcohol." Baymax interrupted the silence. "This is sometimes known as a hangover."

Hiro's eyes widened as he feared another outburst from Varian, but the time displaced teen only gave Baymax annoyed glare but said nothing. So the robot continued, "A glass of water would be more helpful than coffee. Caffeine can increase blood pressure and worsen your headache."  

Still the gloomy teen said nothing nor did he make any moves to replace his cup of joe with the more beneficial water. In fact the only indication that Varian had even heard Baymax, was that he looked the robot dead in the eye as he lifted the steaming cup to his lips and took a sip.

Hiro gave an exasperated sigh, sat his bowl of milk and cheerios down, and went to fill a glass of water himself; forcefully setting it down next to Varian, who raised an eyebrow, but still remained silent. Then Hiro recovered his morning meal and sat at the other end of the table to eat.

Several minutes passed while neither boy said anything, and Hiro began to wonder what was even the point in trying. Varian seemed determined to self destruct. No matter how often they tried to help, no matter how seemingly well things got for awhile, no matter how many times Varian would apologize for screwing up, it all came right back around to yet another mishap, another poor decision, another fight.

Hiro tried not to judge too harshly, honest he did, he was no saint himself after all, but the whole thing was becoming tiresome. Then there were the times where Varian wasn't even sorry.

The incident with Momasake's knife sprung to his mind unbidden, along with the ninja's warning words. "People like that don't ever change."  

No. Hiro refused to believe that. He himself had changed for the better, so could other people, so too could Varian. He just needed someone to be there for him.

"You were right." Varian's voice broke through his thoughts, startling him.

Hiro looked at the other teen in surprise as Varian pressed on.

"I thought that I could handle things, but turns out I'm just a mess no matter what I do." Varian gave a pout and kept his eyes downcast.  

Hiro didn't know what to say to that. He felt like he should give some sort of encouragement, some reassurance that Varian wasn't a mess, but that somehow felt hollow and Varian would know it.

Baymax however did have something to say. "Many adolescents struggle with low self-esteem. Positive reinforcement can help combat this. Try replacing negative thoughts about yourself with compliments instead."

Varian eyed the robot skeptically and even Hiro had to admit he couldn't see that helping all that much in this situation.

"Like what kind of compliments?" Varian asked.

"Recognise your strengths. Varian, you are very smart. You are talented. You are courageous and kind. You have many friends and loved ones who care about you and wish to see you get better."

"Friends?" Varian shot back bitterly and then with tears in his eyes, added, "Not after last night, I'm sure."

"No." Hiro firmly rebutted, "We're still your friends. It's just like Baymax said, we only want for you to get better. Alcohol's just not the right way to cope with what's happened to you."

Varian searched the other teen's eyes, debating on whether or not to believe Hiro's words. He opened his mouth to say something, but then Aunt Cass walked into the kitchen ending the discussion.

She gave the boys a wide smile and kissed Hiro on top of his head. "Good morning! Excited for today?"

Without waiting for an answer, she walked over to the counter and poured herself a cup of the coffee Varian had made. "I thought we could close up shop early today after the morning rush. That way we'd have more time for our family outing. We could go to the park and go bike riding before the movie." She took a sip and walked over to Varian and tenderly ran her fingers through his hair. "How does that sound?" She asked them.

The boys exchanged looks and Varian came to a decision. He swallowed hard, "Aunt Cass… I have something to tell you…about last night."

                                               ---------------------------

Varian finished recounting the events of the past two days to Aunt Cass. Though he conveniently left out some details involving his arguments with Hiro and the rest of their friends; mainly anything to do with superheroing.

He knew Hiro would appreciate this. The other teen had been sent out of the room by Aunt Cass earlier, but they both knew he was most likely sitting at the bottom of the stairwell listening in anyways.

That didn't seem to matter so much in light of his confession though. Aunt Cass looked on shocked and horrified while Varian told her of the club and the drinking games, only interrupting to ask a clarifying question now and then. Once done with his tale, they sat in uncomfortable silence as Aunt Cass tried to process what was happening.

Suddenly she shouted; "Oh God, I'm an idiot!" startling Varian, as she got up to pace.

"Of course it was a college party! What was I thinking? "Painting party" Pff… And not just any college party, noooo, but a frat party. You were in college once, you know what those are like. And it never once occurred to you that your sixteen year old might want to crash one of those? Of course he would! You would! At sixteen you snuck into a rave!"

She paused in her rant to look out into the middle distance as she contemplated what she had just said.

"How did I wind up being the parent again!?" She yelled to no one in particular before slumping back down in her seat and cradling her head in her hands.

Varian was simply confused by this outburst. He didn't know what a 'rave' was, nor why Aunt Cass would be ashamed of going to one. Also it was his fault for lying and getting drunk, not hers.

Aunt Cass inhaled deeply and moved her hands to cup her mouth and then exhaled slowly as she folded them into fists to rest her chin upon.

"You said Baymax checked you over?" She asked. Varian nodded. "You're not hurt then?" He shook his head.

"Good," she said shakely, "That's good…. Then just what the heck were you thinking!?" She rounded on him.

He recoiled under her glare. Varian still hadn't gotten used to Aunt Cass's stressful mood swings anymore than her lectures. His lip quivered and fresh tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he couldn't formulate the words he needed to. He couldn't explain to her what it was like being the odd man out, a stranger in another world, an outcast from society with a shameful past; to never truly fit in no matter what you did.

"Don't you know you could have gotten hurt!?" She continued,"Didn't you stop to think even just a little that maybe sneaking into a nightclub and downing six shots of tequila might be dangerous?"

"I..I didn't know how strong tequila was." He protested in his defense. "I can normally down a couple beers no problem."

"Wait…This isn't your first time drinking?"

"Well no. Everyone drinks in Corona, it's just not a big deal there. It's like drinking a can of soda."

Aunt Cass eyes darted back and forth in confusion as she realized once again she had taken in a child from another country, another culture, and he wasn't just like Hiro or Tadashi. But she wasn't yet ready to concede the argument. She didn't want Varian thinking it was okay to do this a second time.

"And did you sneak into clubs there too!?" She asked incredulously.

"We don't have those." Varian exasperated. He was starting to become irritated once more. He got up from where he sat and leaned over the table at her. "Look, I get it! I screwed up! Just like always! I promise I won't do it again and I don't need you to remind me that I'm a failure, okay!?"

Varian paused mid-rant as he realized what he had just said. Both he and Aunt Cass exchanged surprised looks before he snapped his jaw shut and fell back into his seat, hugging himself as he was no longer able to hold back the tears.

"Varian…" Aunt Cass softly said as she reached her hand out to him, but he jerked away.

"I know.. that I'm...I'm all messed up." He heavied through sobs. "Okay? I know . And I know you're just trying to help. But..but I just … I just wanted to fit in for once, and not be the freak, or the villian, or the poor little orphan that nobody really wants…" He sniffled and wiped his runny nose. He no doubt looked every bit the mess that he felt he was, but at this point he no longer cared. "I'm the person that everyone either pitys, or hates... or even fears. I'm never allowed to be just normal, and no matter what I do, I just keep getting reminded over and over again that I don't belong! Not anywhere! Not here, not Corona, not with the Saporians...I...I…I just want my dad. That's all I want." he broke down crying again.

Aunt Cass was crying too.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

Varian blinked at her in confusion. Why was she sorry? What had she done wrong? He was the one who was broken, not her.

"I was so sure that things were getting better..." she went on,"No. I wanted things to be better, that I didn't pay enough attention to the warning signs. I should have known what kind of party you were going to, and I should have realized sooner that you weren't happy here. I let you down, and I'm sorry." She sighed, shook her head, and flung open her arms wide in a shrug. "I...I don't know what I'm doing any more than you do. Parenting is just playing things by ear and winging it half the time. Especially since, well, every child is different, and what worked for Hiro and Tadashi might not work for you. But I don't think you're a failure, or a mess; I think you're just a teenager, and you're not the only teenager in the world to crash a party and get drunk, believe me. Look, I don't care if you made a mistake, I care about you being safe and that you know not to do it again." She reached out to him again and cupped his face, and this time he didn't pull away as she wiped his tears. "Varian, I know it's difficult having your life uprooted and that you miss your dad, but I want you to know you are wanted. Okay? We all care about you. I care about you. You're my child and I'm never giving up on you, not ever ."

She was inches from his face as she said this. Her hazel eyes search his own, looking for a sign that she had gotten through to him. He screwed his eyes shut as he tried to hold back the fresh tears that came for a now completely different reason. He sobbed, leaned forward, and pressed his forehead against hers. She wrapped him in a tight hug.

"Aunt Cass?" Varian asked over her shoulder, once he felt he could talk again. "I'm sorry. I mean it. I won't drink again. I promise."

She broke their hug only to give him a smile. "I know."

"You..you do?"

"Varian, you're a good kid, and you care about people. I know you don't want to scare anybody and that you didn't mean any harm...and I don't want to make you feel like you ever have to hide that you're upset about something. Come and tell me if something's wrong, or if something is bothering you. I'll listen. I promise."

"P..promise?" He looked at her questionly, hesitant to trust another adult again.

"Promise."

"Then..then can I not get any more lectures?" He blurted out. "I know when I did something wrong, I don't need to hear it repeated back to me."

Aunt Cass frowned and tilted her head, "Then... what do you suggest?" She asked slowly.

"I...I don't know." He hung his head. "I just feel like I'm being put on trial all over again. That was the worst." He added under his breath.

Aunt Cass blinked as it dawned on her what the real problem was. "Oookaay… I'll try and keep that in mind in the future. How about for now… you're grounded for a week. How's that?"

"Grounded? That's when you don't leave the house, right?"

"Sort of, you'll still go to school, but no more parties. I would also add extra chores, but you tend to do those anyways without me even asking."

Varian smiled for the first time that day. "Does that mean no family outing?" He teased.

Aunt Cass laughed, "Yeah, you're not getting out that easily. You're a part of this family now, and don't ever forget it." She kissed his forehead and stood up."Now go shower and get ready for the day, and let Hiro know we'll be leaving soon. I think a day off will do everybody some good."

                                               ---------------------------

Varian trudged up the steps of the sorority house. He made it to the front door and then cast a concerned glance back towards the car.

He had told Aunt Cass that he wanted to come clean to Carol about last night. His aunt agreed that that would be best and so had driven him out to the SFAI campus.

However that didn't stop his stomach from tying itself up in knots. The pretty girl probably wouldn't want anything to do with him once she knew the truth. Yet he took a deep breath and rang the doorbell anyways.

He heard footsteps barreling through the house and a familiar voice yelling "I'll get it!". The door flung open wide and there stood Carol, out of breath but with a huge grin on her face. She was clearly glad to see him, though for how long Varian didn't know.

"Oh hey, Varian! I didn't expect to see you today." She subconsciously patted the side of her head. She had her usual curls wrapped up in a scarf, and had been in the middle of some sort of hair care treatment that she dropped once he had arrived. "You..you wanna come in?" She offered.

"I'm afraid I can't." He declined. "I'm with my aunt right now and we're about to go on that 'family outing' I told you about." He pointed back to the car, and Carol's smile only became wider as she waved to its occupants.

"Is the other kid your little brother or cousin?" She asked in her usual friendly manner.

"Uuuuh… sort...of..." Varian didn't have an answer on hand that didn't require a long explanation, so he hurried onto the reason why he was here. "It's a long story, but that's not why I'm here. " He took another steading breath and looked her firmly in the eye. "Carol, I haven't been honest with you, and I'm sorry."

Her smile promptly fell away from her face. "You mean you lied to me? About what?"

"I shouldn't have been at that club. I'm only sixteen."

Carol blinked in confusion. "You mean you're still in high school?"

"Well no; I really am in college and I did just move here from Europe. That's all true, it's just, I got admitted into SFIT early."

Carol made a face as if disgusted by the truth. "You mean I've been hitting on a sixteen year old this whole time?"

Now it was Varian's turn to be confused. "You never struck me?"

"No, 'hitting on', it means flirting."

Varian's spirit picked up, "You mean you were flirting with me?"

"Well now I'm not." She said incredulously and Varian's face fell as his hopes were dashed.

"That..that's fair." He nodded his head and started to walk away. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just didn't think it was a big deal at first, and by the time that it was, well, I just …. I'm sorry."

"Wait." Carol called out. He stopped and watched her as she struggled to find the words she was looking for. "Look...I can't get too mad at you. You ain't the only person that snuck in that club last night."

Varian began to regain hope and walked back over to her as she continued. "Mind you, I just turned nineteen so that's a bit different than being the same age as an eleventh grader, but it's... still not on the up and up. Also if I've gotten a chance at your age to crash a college party I would have, no questions asked, hands down."

She gave him a small sheepish smile and he returned it. Then he rubbed the back of his head as he steeled his courage to ask her another question.

"I.. I won't be able to go clubbing or attend another frat party again anytime soon, and I know you probably don't want to date after what just happened, but...would you still like to be friends?"

Carol tilted her head and studied him a moment thoughtfully. "Friends? You mean like the kind that you can call on for help or just to talk to sometimes?" She asked, recalling their conversation from last night.

"Yeah, and maybe hang out once in a while; just no alcohol this time. I made a promise to Aunt Cass." He gave an awkward laugh and Carol couldn't suppress her smile.

"Yeah, friends sound nice." She agreed and they shook hands before parting.

                      ��                        ---------------------------

Monday morning rolled around and Varian stood outside the communal lab waiting. His palms were sweaty and he couldn't stop himself from shaking nervously.

Hiro had gathered everyone together to hear Varian's apology, but Varian feared it wouldn't be enough. The sight of everyone walking away from him replayed in his mind over and over again. Why should they forgive him? He had made an ass out of himself once again and worse he had hurt Gogo. He hadn't meant to, but that didn't change the fact that he did. They had given him so many chances already and there was no reason for them to keep on giving him more.

He gulped as Hiro opened the door to let him in. The rest of the gang sat in a semi-circle waiting to hear what Varian had to say. Only he didn't have any words. He opened his mouth to say, 'I'm sorry,' but nothing came out. So he clamped his jaw shut and fought back his tears as he cast his eyes down to the ground.

"Hiro says you told Aunt Cass what happened." Wasabi said. His arms were crossed and his voice was serious but he didn't launch into an angry rant at least.

Varian nodded his head yes.

"And did you promise her not to go out drinking again?" Wasabi pressed.

Varian nodded again.

"Good." Came his reply and he walked over to Varian and pointed his finger in his face. "Cause if I catch my best friend doing something so stupid again, I'm going to have to have a nervous breakdown and your going to have to be the one to hold the paper bag that breath into, okay." He then flashed Varian a grin to show that he was only half way joking.

Varian gave him a half smile, half pout. "I'm sorry," he sobbed as Wasabi laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Hey we're just glad you're safe." Fred said as he made his way over to give Varian a hug.

Honey Lemon got up and did the same. "Promise us you won't do something so dangerous again."

If she had asked for the moon with such pleading eyes, Varian would have started building a rocket right then and there. Yet, he knew that he would never be able to keep such an oath; given what a disaster he was. He swallowed hard and tried to come up with an easier promise. "I promise; no more dance clubs, no more drinking, and no more lying about my age."

This seemed to placate her and everyone else in the room, save for Gogo. While everyone was gathered around he looked over their shoulders to see her still glaring at him. He gently pushed past Honey Lemon and stepped towards the other girl.

"Gogo..I'm…" He made to say sorry, but she interrupted him by holding her hand up. Gogo then stood up, gave him a shake of her head and another disapproving look, before walking out the door.

Varian felt his heart shatter on the floor as the door firmly slammed shut.

                                               ---------------------------

Varian felt riddled with anxiety all day. He barely was able to concentrate on his calculus quiz and his class in applied computer science was a blur. He couldn't focus on his portal either. Guilt pricked his mind and he knew he wouldn't be able to get anything done until he tried to mend things with Gogo once more.

He found her in the welding workshop. She was busy soldering the joints of a bicycle together. He walked up to her, careful not to get in the way of sparks flying off the blow torch, and patiently waited for her to finish or come to a stopping point.

However, Gogo only seemed determined to ignore him. Once done with her welding, she flung up the flap of protective visor, turned on her heel, and deliberately walked over to the tool station to find another piece of equipment. She then made a show of her search, refusing to spare Varian even a glance.

Varian didn't blame her for being angry, nor did he believe she would forgive him at this point, but she deserved to hear a full apology from him and he was determined to give it.

"Gogo?" Failing to get her attention he pressed on anyways. "Gogo, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, and I'm sorry that I broke my promise; but most of all I'm sorry that I hurt you. I didn't mean to. It was an accident, but I still did it and I.. I'll understand if sorry isn't enough...I just wanted to let you know that I am."

Gogo paused and in what she was doing but she still wouldn't turn around or look at him. He waited a few moments more for a response before tearing himself away. However he stopped at the door at the sound of Gogo's voice.

"You think that's why I'm mad?" She asked quietly.

"Well, isn't?" Varian was confused. He thought he had covered all that he did wrong in his apology. What had he missed?

Gogo tore off the visor she wore and threw on the table. She then gave a long frustrated sigh as she ran both her hands through her hair before cradling the nape of her neck in her hands and giving an exasperated look towards the ceiling. Then she dropped her arms and finally turned around to face him.

"First, there was the flood in the communal lab. Then you got arrested for 'bot fighting and ran away. Not to mention that you decided to just walk into the middle of the desert with no thought as to how that might not end well. Oh and let's talk about how you tried to fight a highly trained assassin with nothing but a frying pan!"

"B-baking pan." Varian nervously corrected and then he joked, "A frying pan may have stood a better change of workin-…."

The enraged look on Gogo's face put an end to his attempts at levity. He then cringed as she started in on him again.

"And there you were sneaking into a nightclub with a bunch of strangers and making yourself sick with alcohol. It's like you don't stop to think. You're so damn sure of yourself all the time that you never consider how things can go wrong, how you could get hurt." She blinked back tears. "I already lost someone once because they wouldn't stop. I.. I don't want to lose anybody else."

Varian's breath stilled as he realized who Gogo was really talking about. She hugged herself as the tears came unbidden.

"You..you don't know what it's like to get left behind, do you?" She asked. "It hurts to see someone you care about rush head first into something dangerous, okay, and you have people who care about you now. This isn't Corona, you're not alone any more, but that also means you need to think about them too before you go off and do something stupid!"

She sobbed and slumped to the ground to cry.

It was disconcerting to see the normally composed Gogo break down into tears. It was even more upsetting to know that he was the cause of them. Well, not just him, but him and Tadashi rather, and not for the first time Varian felt as if he was living under the deceased teen's shadow.

He sighed and walked over to the girl and sat down beside her. He didn't know what to say or do to make things better so he just remained by her side as she cried.

After a time she choked back her tears and said, "You're not ever going to stop, are you." It was a statement not a question.

"I don't know how to stop." He despaired.

She hugged herself once more and refused to look him in the eyes.

"Look you're right, I don't think about what may happen to me when I do things." He confessed, "But it's not because I don't care about everyone else; it's just… I guess… I'm just not used to having people looking out for me, and I don't know how to handle that sometimes. I was always either the one fighting on my own or the one looking out for others, and half the time I'm afraid everyone is going to figure out what a disaster I am and leave." It was now his turn to choke back sobs. "Leave me all alone just like before, just like everyone else has done.. I..."

Gogo finally looked at him and pouted. Then she sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Well, good thing we knew you were a disaster the moment you tried to smoke bomb the cops then." She gently teased.

Varian couldn't help but snicker while blinking back his tears and he too leaned his head against her own.

"Soooo...are we...are we still friends then?" He asked.

"Of course we are, you idiot." She replied in exasperation and snuggled closer. "And don't you ever forget it, cause next time you do something dumb like that I'm kicking your butt."

Varian nodded his head, "Yeah, sounds fair." And they both broke down laughing.

[miggydiaz]

for the salty ask: 3, 7, 10, 11, 15, 16, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25 and 27 for spn

I had to do this one today because I have a LOT of Supernatural feelings and so a lot of these are even longer than my CK one. But thanks for the ask @wonderwolfballoon!

UNPOPULAR SUPERNATURAL OPINIONS AHOY: INCLUDES ANTI-DESTIEL SENTIMENTS AND OTHER UNSAVORY ELEMENTS

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? 100000000% I have unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion in the SPN fandom. SPN was the fandom that taught me to make JUDICIOUS use of the blocking feature tumblr offers in order to curate my experience. I would actually encourage anyone and everyone to use the blocking feature if they disagree with people. Honestly, we don’t owe anyone our time or energy, especially on the internet! It is much healthier than sending or responding to hate, IMO. 7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?* This is actually a hard one for me to answer, so let me start by saying -- I have not seen a SINGLE episode since 9x05? I think? Whichever episode was the Dr. Deanlittle one where he talks to animals. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the first 5 seasons, and they are all I watch anymore and I pretend nothing else exists after that (except The French Mistake because that episode is hilarious). But uh... I guess the simple answer is when I was originally watching it, I really loved Dean. He was brash, snarky, rough around the edges... but kind of soft in a I’m too toxically masculine to deal with my softness sort of way that I love seeing characters grow out of as they mature. But when I go back and rewatch now, much older than I was in 2006 when I first started watching, I see how awful a lot of his older behavior truly was. I still love Dean, and I will be a Dean girl until I die probably, but sometimes you gotta remind yourself that your faves have been problematic in the past so you don’t put them up on fandom constructed pedestals.

10. Most disliked arc? Why? AND AS A BONUS, MY ANSWER to 11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? I could write a literal essay about all of the problems I have with the later seasons (the ones I watched, which encompasses 6, 7, 8, and a few episodes of 9). But by far and away, the thing I hated most, was the Men of Letters.

Okay, this is where I am going to recognize my love of certain characters is at FUNDAMENTAL ODDS with how that character develops later and what history and background we get later on them. I RECOGNIZE this character is problematic, and I would NEVER STAND for his shit IRL, but fiction is complicated and nuanced, and fantastic circumstances do not make for normal behaviors. That being said, with all warnings I could possibly give, and with the full understanding that what I am about to say is basically fandom blasphemy of the highest order...

I like John Winchester’s character.

I know, I know. If you wanna stop reading and block me now, you are free to do that. I will not hold it against you. I am not about to apologize for anything he has done. I just need to contextualize why I have such an issue with the MOL storyline and it starts with the simple fact that I liked John Winchester as he was originally presented.

To me, and with the full understanding that I am answering this from the perspective of someone who DOES NOT regard anything past season 5 as personal canon, John Winchester is the perfect example of a truly complicated character. Here’s a parent who, if we take the pilot and the original s2 Djinn episodes at face value, could have been a great parent, who then got shoved into a fantastically impossible situation and made terrible choices that he thought were necessary in order to keep himself and his sons safe. That does not EXCUSE the heaps of abuse that he piled onto Dean in any way. We know John and Mary didn’t have a great marriage. But we also know from the pilot that John was at least a caring and present father, mostly,  for the 4 years he got to parent in a normal world, and that if Mary had lived, John would’ve been a softball playing dad who raised his kids and had a loving marriage with his wife. (Again, I need to reiterate, I did not watch anything past the early episodes of s9. If there is later canon that negates this, I do not know about it, nor do I want to because I don’t think of anything past 5 as canon) This is all important to me because these things emphasize that John was “NORMAL”. He was a mechanic, from a family of mechanics, whose father didn’t bail on him (a man in the episode where Dean is transported back in time to Lawrence tells John to ‘say hi to your old man for me’ or something to that effect). He was just a midwestern dude. Giving John Winchester a fantastical background through this Men of Letters bullshit made me SO MAD. First of all, I hate when later canon negates previous canon. I cannon TELL you how much I hate it. And the later seasons of Supernatural are riddled with stuff that doesn’t make any damn sense in the context of original, Kripke written canon, which is exactly why I stopped watching. That’s not ~Evolution of the show.~ That’s conveniently forgetting stuff that made your show and its premise so successful to begin with in order to keep filming episodes so you can keep making money. It’s the sacrifice of art for capitalism and yes I know this is a stupid TV show but as a writer myself it PISSES ME OFF.

/rant

ALSO, the idea that this toxically masculine family was set on this path by Heaven, and inherited this curse that put them on this path from their mother was such a good plot twist in its heyday. We spent four seasons thinking of Mary Winchester as a victim of circumstance, whose fate could not have been avoided because she was the mother to Sam, who is effectively cursed. And then, we learn that its BECAUSE of Mary that this ball even got rolling in the first place. IDK if you were around for that time in the fandom but at least in my circle, this was a big fucking deal. There had been so much (rightful) discourse about John before this, and what kind of parent he was, that Mary became almost deified in the same way Dean deifies her. And then we find out that this whole story gets set in motion by a decision she made because this was the life she found herself in. This was great. It was interesting. And even though the MOL doesn’t negate any of this, it does give John this weirdly fantastical that isn’t necessary. Let this guy be just some Joe Schmoe who fell in love with a kick ass hunter and had no idea any of this even existed. Let Mary and her want to be ‘normal’ be a complicated moral choice that fundamentally altered the paths of her husband and sons. It’s good tv!

Also, I fucking hate the bunker. The best episodes are Dean and Sam having moments in the car, or while in motel rooms on their cases, or whatever. I don’t mind them having a home base. I’m fine with that. But if a building could ever be a Mary Sue character, the bunker is it. I hate all of the MOL storyline, starting with this place.

I may not even tag this as Supernatural, I don’t need angry later season stans in my inbox.

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

There’s nothing good about anything that happened after season 6. It’s all a bunch of retconning bullshit. Season 6 had its moments where it was interesting, so I cut it a little bit of slack, but as far as I’m concerned, the show ended in season 5. I’m not sure that’s necessarily unpopular, but it does feel that way on tumblr, so. 

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Aside from ending it in season 5?

Oooh, I’m about to blaspheme again. I am definitely not tagging this as Supernatural.

I would never have introduced Castiel, and I would’ve given that entire storyline to Anna. Or, alternatively, I would’ve flipped their story lines.

Look, for whatever it’s worth... I agree with the idea that Dean Winchester is a repressed bisexual. His Dr. Sexy love, the entire storyline with Benny in season 8, etc. I just don’t think he feels romantically about Castiel. And like, that’s okay! Just because you’re not into someone who is into you doesn’t mean you owe them a relationship or anything, no matter what the fandom thinks.

But I also think Dean has a big problem when it comes to women. Again, obviously later on in the series, Dean shifts and Charlie happens and Claire Novak and I know all of these things from gifs okay, context is not applicable here because I have none. But early on, Dean struggles A LOT with thinking of women as A) capable and B) trustworthy. He exists in a perpetual state of identifying women along the Madonna/Whore binary. Even Jo, however you feel about her, and to be clear, I loved Jo, but he doesn’t stop thinking of her really as a kid until they’re about to shoot the devil. Up until then, he’s genuinely surprised Ellen lets her out of the damn house.

Giving him a strong, capable woman who rebels against Heaven for HIM would have fundamentally altered Dean’s perceptions of women much earlier on than we get and would have forced him to examine some of that misogyny head on.

Dean has no problems trusting men. This is why the entire Gordon fiasco happens, right? It was less work for him to trust Castiel because Castiel is the inverse of Ruby. Angel to her Demon. Angels and demons don’t really have genders, but for the sake of presentation of vessels, man to her woman. Not even getting me started on the problematic parts of having significant demons mostly symbolized by women (Meg, Ruby, Lilith) and having significant angels mostly represented by Men (Castiel, Michael, Lucifer, Zachariah, Gabriel, Raphael), and how that ties into the idea of Original Sin and yada yada, but just like it’s interesting to have Mary and her decisions be the catalyst for the story, it’s interesting to have this badass warrior angel in Anna who marches down to Hell to yank Dean out, and through her interactions with him, decide to rebel against the ultimate patriarchy, while Dean gets an equally strong female counterpart to Sam’s Ruby, a woman for all intents and purposes that he respects as a soldier and an ally and not just a potential piece of ass.

Also, Castiel fans being literally unbearable is why I left the fandom. Nothing against Misha or anything, and not even anything against Cas as a character (who I very much enjoyed in seasons 4 and 5), but his fans have always been the worst and they try to insert him into everything.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Castiel/Destiel fans, which even though I also hated the direction the show was going, drove me out of the fandom. Not like, personally or directly, but just the sheer mental hoops they had to jump through in order to make their ship work and I just got tired of seeing all of the contrived meta on my dash. Oh, and the rampant misogyny that came out of those early Castiel fans. I didn’t appreciate it from the Wincest corner, and I definitely didn’t appreciate it from the fans of the new guy. Gross.

22. Popular character you hate?

Oof. I don’t know. I don’t really hate Castiel, because again, I liked him a lot in seasons 4 and 5. Even 6 was interesting, even if I don’t regard it as my own personal show canon. I don’t think there was a popular character in those first five seasons I ever really hated. I didn’t fundamentally hate a character at all until the MOL stuff came around. Um. Yeah, I don’t really have an answer for this.

23. Unpopular character you love?

Pretty much every female character ever. Jo, Ellen, Ruby, Meg... although Meg became more popular as the series went on, Anna. Um. OH, BELA. Bela ESPECIALLY, I recently rewatched season 3 and I cannot emphasize how MUCH I love Bela. She was the best purely human foil ever. Bela is hands down the character I love most that the fandom had frothing at the mouth hatred for. It doesn’t help that I legitimately think Lauren Cohan is one of the most beautiful women on the planet. But seriously, Bela. Hands down.

24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not? 

I have! Many of times, and ALWAYS WITH THE CAVEAT to stop at the end of season 5. Not a single one of them has listened to me and almost all of them came to me at the end of the finale and were like WHY DID I WASTE SO MUCH TIME, and I don’t want to say I told them so, but like, I explicitly in neon colored text once told them so, so like, idk what to tell them. But yes! I think if someone is interested in some classic mystery television that has an overarching theme of family and forgiveness and striking out against the boxes that life tries to put us all into, SPN is a great show. But only the first 5 seasons. Also, be prepared for some thematically problematic parts of the show because there’s a lot of cishet toxic masculinity in those early seasons, and we should examine our media critically. There’s also a lot of good though too, and IMO, the good outweighs the bad.

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

I would’ve ended it at season 5. I would’ve had Sam escape the pit and seen him standing under the street lamp, but then I would’ve had him walking away to leave Dean with Lisa (btw, side note, I DIDN’T like Lisa because I don’t think Dean would ever be truly happy with someone completely outside the life). Not because Sam doesn’t love his brother, but because he *does* love his brother, and because he would want Dean to be happy, even though Dean and Sam’s ideas of what makes the other happy have always been a little bit screwed up.. but that’s a different story.

27. Least shippable character?

Probably Zachariah. God, could you imagine? And... maybe Alastair, but I’m sure there are fics out there that I do not want to think about.

[takadasaiko]

In Defense of Howard Stark

The Marvel Cinematic Universe doesn’t have a shortage of layered, fascinating characters. It’s always easy to hyper focused on the ones we love most, and that’s the excuse I roll with for why it’s taken me so long to find my fascination with Howard Stark. Up until the last few months I looked at him through the lense of who he was to other characters. He was Tony’s father, Steve’s friend, and co-founder of SHIELD with Peggy Carter. He filled roles, but I didn’t look closer for a long time. I didn’t have any reason to.

Then came the Great MCU Rewatch that happened post-Endgame. It wasn’t until I had Dominic Cooper’s Howard stacked back-to-back with John Slattery’s Howard that I started to dig into him. We meet a young man in Captain America: The First Avenger, the Peggy Carter short, and two seasons of the Agent Carter series on ABC. He’s brilliant and goofy, rarely serious unless he’s discussing his work. It’s a stark contrast with the older Howard we meet through John Slattery’s version. Either there was a catastrophic miscommunication between the writers, the directors, and the actors on who Howard Stark was supposed to be, or something caused that shift. The moment I settled on the latter, Howard went from a supporting character whose only use was to help round out others around him to a truly interesting, layered and even broken man.  I became fascinated with piecing together that journey. I needed to know what took this man

to a man that his own son described as cold and distant.

I had been using Howard to help deepen my understanding of others, and in the same way, taking a look at those that he keeps close to him and how he treats them helps to shed light on who he is.

Who Howard Surrounds Himself With

Howard wasn’t raised with the same economic and social privilege that he was able to provide to his son in later years. In S1 of Agent Carter he tells Peggy that he was raised on the Lower East Side to a father that sold fruit and a mother that was a seamstress in a factory, going on to tell her how he’d learned to lie to break through the ceiling society had placed for someone like him.

Yet as of S2 of Agent Carter Howard was in high demand at a club that wouldn’t have let him within a hundred feet of if he hadn’t made the fortune that he did with Stark Industries. With that background matched with the contacts he would have made after Stark Industries took off, I think it’s safe to say that Howard knew people from every walk of life.  

There were the less savory types:

Joe Manfredi and Howard grew up together and the mobster had no trouble reaching out to Howard years later for help when his kinda crazy girlfriend Whitney Frost went over the edge and into territory even he was uncomfortable with.

And while we may not know how he met Obadiah Stane, the other man wormed his way so deeply into Howard’s life and career that he was poised to manipulate his son after his death.

We don’t know a lot about those other than the fact that Howard wasn’t opposed to shady characters.

There’s something interesting in the more positive friendships that he keeps though.

Edwin Jarvis is a fascinating character. Howard’s butler is that and more. We see him stick with Howard through thick and thin. Through countless girlfriends that he was the bearer of bad news to

through disagreements, and he was with the Stark family long enough that Tony was influenced by him enough that he based his AI system off of him. Jarvis himself tells Peggy the story of how he met and came to work for Howard Stark in S1 of Agent Carter, shedding light on yet another layer of the complicated man:

Jarvis met his wife Ana during the war. She was Hungarian. Moreover, she was Hungarian-Jew in the middle of Europe overrun by nazis. Jarvis fell hard, but the general that he worked for wouldn’t help, even though he could have done so easily. So Jarvis forged his signature. He was found out and would have been tried for treason, but Howard - who had had business dealings with the general - stepped in and used his influence to save not only Edwin, but Ana as well.

There was no indication that Howard expected anything in return, but Jarvis remained loyal and steady.

And then there’s Peggy.

I could go on for days about Howard and Peggy’s friendship. I love it dearly, and feel that we need more friendships like it on television.

He flirts with her, he teases her, but in the end he respects no one quite like he does Margaret Carter.

Howard is a self-admitted liar. He felt that he had to become one in order to break free from the ceiling that society put over him in his youth. He doesn’t trust easily and, even when he does, he still hides behind a quirky, playboy mask meant to obscure anything of any real depth under frivolous layers. To get to the level of success he found himself in at such a young age he had to build up an imperviousness to others’ opinions of him. He flaunts in most cases, but, for better or worse, he does care about how Peggy views him.

She’s the one he turns to to clear his name at the beginning of the first season of Agent Carter and the only one that can talk him out of the mire of his own deepest regrets at the end of the same season.

The funny thing is that, for all his determination that he doesn’t really care how people see him, Howard seems to keep people closest to him that will keep him in check. Jarvis and Peggy, especially. They don’t pull punches and they call him on his shit.

If it’s a conscious choice or even a subconscious one, Howard surrounds himself with people that will hold him accountable. I’d put good money on the fact that Maria did too.

The Way He Treats Others

One of our earlier introductions to Howard is in Iron Man 2 where Tony tells Fury that his father had been cold and distant. He never told Tony that he liked him, much less that he loved him.

Fury indicated that he knew a very different man, and through Dominic’s Howard we (the audience) meet a very different man as well, which leads me to think that Howard struggles with expressing real, honest feelings rather than actually having them. It makes sense, given his explanation at two different points in the first season of Agent Carter that, to break through the barriers society had tried to force on him, he’d learned to hide behind lies and an indifference to what others thought about him. We see that that often leads him to come across as shallow and arrogant. He doesn’t, and seems not to even know how to express those truer feelings except in very rare circumstances, but we see glimpses in the way he treats people.

Edwin and Ana Jarvis are a fantastic example, as mentioned earlier. Here were people that he didn’t really know, people that he owed nothing to, yet he went out of his way to protect them. He used a favour that he could have hoarded away for more selfish purposes and gave it to them to save their lives. In return he was given loyalty, but there was no expectation on that.

Howard holds true to his playboy persona as well as, if not perhaps better than his son would in later years, but despite the flirtation (which he always manages to work into their conversations), Howard shows time and again the respect that he holds for Peggy Carter. While she’s fighting for her colleagues’ respect in the post-war SSR, she’s the one Howard reaches out to to clear his name. She’s the one that he trusts to protect him when his life is on the line. And when she needs help, it’s hers for the taking. A flight that the Army won’t take because it’s too dangerous? All Peggy had to do was ask. Twice when she needed a place to stay, he offered his own home(s) to her, and in S2 he dove straight in to help her on her case without any hesitation.

In S2 of the Agent Carter series we meet Jason Wilkes, a brilliant scientist who works for a company that becomes the center of the season’s investigation. The rarity of being a black man in his position is used against him when his company sets him up as a scapegoat. Not only is Howard eager to help him, work with him to clear his name, and reinstate his corporeal form (long story, but if you haven’t seen the Agent Carter series I highly recommend it!), but he sets him up in Stark Industries after all is said and done to help him run the Malibu labs on a new pet project.

For all of his faults and complications, Howard has a trend of helping to support and even protect those that the society of his time is set against. A Jewish woman and her fiancé facing the nazis, a brilliant female agent fighting enemies as well as men around her that have faith in her failure, and a talented black scientist whose company has used and thrown away when convenient.  We see the kindness in his actions, in the respect that he gives others that society would prefer not to be bothered with.

So how did he miss the mark so badly with his own son? He gave him things, opened doors for Tony that he’d had to force open himself, but (at least according to Tony) he missed expressing any sort of affection for him. Personally, in light of the other relationships that we actually get to see as they’re taking place, I’m inclined to think that he didn’t know how to express his love in a way that an already struggling child could understand. He tinkered on cars with him and he built an organization that would keep the world (and his family) safe. Perhaps to Howard, more importantly, he kept his distance, thus allowing his son the chance to grow into his own man. Someone not quite like him.

The thing is, even if it went against everything he wanted, there was no getting around that. Just as I imagine that Howard inherited a few more traits from his own father than he would have ever admitted to, Tony inherited some from him. Both the good and the bad.

Howard’s Personality Traits

Marvel is a parallel haven. In many ways the universe that they’ve created feels like one long, fantastical TV show with 3+ hour episodes. One of the perks of that is the multiple nods they’ve made and parallels they’ve drawn. It’s through those parallels that I found between Howard and Tony that sunk me deeper and deeper into exploring Howard’s personality. Robert said it best:

(gif made by and borrowed from @erikisright​)

Much in the same way that we meet Tony in Iron Man 1, the Howard of Captain America: The First Avenger and the Agent Carter short and series secures himself behind a mask of indifference to public opinion. He has a good time and doesn’t give a damn who knows it. When focused on work, he’s focused

but as soon as the war’s over he’s living the life of the playboy millionaire. He spends his time gallivanting around as much as inventing. He flaunts it. His money, his success. It’s the mask he hides behind to protect himself from the world, and the one that he feels like he has to hide behind. Afterall…

There’s no question that Howard has his fair share of less-than-desirable traits, but as we’ve discussed, he has some good ones as well. One that I found surprising, personally, is that he takes responsibility. Maybe not in his personal life (sorry, Jarvis, but it’s on you to handle Howard’s breakups apparently), but in his work. If he feels that he’s fallen short, he owns it, repeatedly to the point of putting his own life in danger.

In the first season finale for Agent Carter, after spending eight episodes on the run to clear his name, he waltzes himself into the SSR to give the full story and offer himself up as bait. It’s his fault, he tells them, despite not designing the invention stolen to cause harm, it’s still his, and he’ll own up to his responsibility there, both at the time and the damage it had caused during the war. In S2, after an invention fails, he offers himself up to go in and switch it on manually (putting himself at exceptional risk) because he ‘designed it poorly’. He doesn’t get the chance to do it, but he’s ready and willing to.

On the flip side (and also a trait that took me by surprise) he gives credit where it’s due.

Despite having to lie and possibly claw his way to the top, he’s consistently willing to both offer a hand to those that he can as well as make sure that he’s acknowledging their contribution, despite the fact that he believes that many successful scientists steal other people’s work for themselves. 

Tony must have come by his tendencies to fixate by way of his father. Much like his son, Howard shows time and time again that he leans into his obsessive personality. It ranges from a hyper-focus on work to coffee to a good time by any means he can find it, and even to the guilt that we see him holding onto in those few private, honest moments we catch a glimpse of.

We see it in the way that he held onto the guilt over what happened to the Russian soldiers at Finow when his Midnight Oil was misused and ended up killing hundreds of Allied soldiers. He did everything he could to set the situation as right as it could be set - he faced down the general that had stolen the oil only to get his ass handed to him, forced the general to step down, ended a seven-figure contract with the Army, and created a vault to better protect designs and inventions that could hurt innocent people - yet we see how it still weighs on him years later.

I think it’s the guilt at never being able to find Steve that eventually shifts him from Dominic’s Howard to John’s. That lively, goofy man is broken year after year by the failure of not being able to find or save a man that he holds up on a pedestal. He fixates on it to the point that his own son feels that he cared more about Captain America than him. Really, there’s so much in this theory that I’ve had battering around my head for the last couple of months or so that it deserves its own post. I’ll put it on the writing docket.

All in all, Howard Stark is an easy character to overlook or to flatten out with partial information. The Agent Carter series does wonders to add depth to him by giving us time to get to know him. Time that we don’t get through newsreels and the off story that Tony tells.

Part of an interesting character is their layers, both the good and the bad. Much like Tony, I feel that the more I learn about Howard Stark, the more I come to realize that he was a man trying his best. Sure, maybe his best didn’t match up in a lot of ways, but I think there’s something to be said for each generation of Starks doing just a little bit better than the one that came before them in whatever way that they can.