#the fact that he had the audacity to say he didn't mean that shit

[heartmix]

Messed Up - Joe Burrow

Pairing: Joe Burrow x fem!reader

Word Count: 3k+

Warning: swearing, mentions of s*x, joe's an ass in the beginning and also dumb, driving while on the phone (focus on driving!) angst but fluffy ending

A/N: cleaned out all my wip and deleted around 50 so i could motivate myself to write more. found this gem while i was cleaning

Masterlist / NFL Masterlist

He didn't mean to make you feel like shit. Really. You were the most understand person in the world especially when it came to his job. If he told you that practice was shit and that the winning drought was getting to him then you would've understood, but he just had to say,

"You're a distraction, you need to stop being all over me I can't focus on work."

That one sentence sent everything into a spiral. He regretted it the moment he said it, apologizing as soon as the last word came out but it was too late. The sad eyes mixed with the anger radiating from your body was evident.

"Hope you can focus for Tennessee." Was all you said before grabbing your phone and rushing to the guest bedroom before joe could get you from not locking the door.

Tennessee being venom on yours lips was a reminder that he had an early flight in the morning for this weekend's game. Of course he had to go and say some stupid shit knowing he wouldn't be able to see you till Monday.

His sleep was absolutely shit. He fell asleep outside the guest bedroom hoping in the middle of the night you'd crawl back in bed or open the door and take pity on him, but you didn't. You slept the whole morning. Even when he had to leave. He screwed up. The texts and voice memos he sent you piled in like a train that morning. In every way he could say sorry he wrote and said. He even made sure flowers and breakfast was on your doorstep before he boarded the plane.

You weren't completely heartless, you knew he regretted what he said, but that didn't change the fact that he said it and looked like in that moment he meant it. Not wanting him to have an even more terrible practice and even worst game you caved into the texts, sending a picture of the flowers with a

'Thank you, it's beautiful. Have fun in Tennessee'

Joe felt a wave of relief seeing your text come in. He knew it wouldn't make up for everything, but at least you weren't ignoring him. He was going to take as much as he could get until he saw you on Monday.

Over the next two days the texts were dry on your end. Just simple replies to his texts and pictures here and there of your day (when he asked). Those two days he was thinking of ways to make it up to you. All of his troubles washed away seeing your Instagram stories before the game. No matter how mad you were you still supported him (even if that wasn't your team).

Bengals got a win off the titans, a close game that was decided by a last second field goal. He was grateful for the strong wind and his kickers experience with wind over Tennessees'. He played a hell of a game, scoring 2 passing touchdowns. Seeing your celebratory stories made him feel even better. He thought everything was going to be okay once he got home.

Sure you loved supporting him every chance you got, but that wasn't the entire reason you posted about the bengals win. It would be suspicious if you didn't. Texts from friends who knew you all to well would roll in with

'you and Joe okay?'

'Joe piss you off?'

'Tired of the bengals?'

You didn't want that. You couldn't handle that right now. You got your anger out of the way and all that was left was irritation. Irritation with what Joe had the audacity to say that to you and Irritation that he couldn't just tell you he wasn't in the mood. He made you feel like a slut and that was the last thing you wanted to feel in a relationship with one of the biggest quarterbacks of this generation.

Monday morning rolled around and Joe couldn't be happier to be home. He couldn't wait to tell you all about the win and hear your praises. He loved hearing your insight after game day, especially over a game he knew he played great in.

When he walked in the house he expected the usual greeting and excitement from you. But it was silent. You didn't work today and even if you did you worked from home most days so you'd take a short break to great him. The whole house was quiet, not even music blasting from the speakers. The more he traveled in the house he finally found you in the walk in closest with your earphones in. You knew he was home evident to the notifications your got from the doorbell camera, you just didn't care to meet him at the door to greet him.

"Hey mamas." You felt his hands snake around your waist as he buried his head in your neck.

"Hey. Great game. The plane ride okay?" You asked pausing the current song so you can show some decadency in paying attention to him as much as you didn't want to.

"Yeah. The win made it easier to fall asleep for a bit." He mumbled in your neck. The reminder that he won hit you right in the chest. Maybe he did win because you weren't a distraction this weekend.

"I bet, at least you got some rest."

"Yeah but now I'm home and I couldn't be happier to be here." All you did was hum at his response as you continued to sort your clothes.

"What are you doing?" He noticed you were making an overnight back.

"Staying at Milla's tonight. She wanted a girls night with just us after we were with the girls all yesterday."

"Oh." Was all he could get out. He was confused. Obviously you could make plans whenever you wanted it's just you rarely made plans when he came back from a road game. You dedicated that day to him and him only. He loved those days even after a win, even in a lost you'd spend it in bed watching film and helping him analyze the games.

"Don't forget to put your laundry in the basket." You turned to him patting his cheek before grabbing your bag getting ready to head out.

"Wait! Whats the matter?" He chased you out of the closet with a confused look on his face.

"Nothing? I going to the store to grab dinner so I can cook at Milla's. She's in the mood for my cooking."

"Okay. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" His signature pout made its way onto his face. Normally you couldn't resist it, but today you really didn't care what face he was making.

"Mhmm."

"Bye i love you, text me when you get there." He came up to you planting a kiss to your lips deeply with you barely reciprocating it back.

"Will do." You gave a fake smile to him before leaving the house.

You didn't come home the next day. In fact you stayed one more day at Milla's with the reason being that Milla tired you out at the mall and you didn't feel like packing up everything from the tiredness. When you came back Wednesday morning Joe just got back from his morning work out but could tell you were in a rush.

"Hey! Woah in a rush?"

"Heading into work today. Got a new project." You replied swiftly has he watched you get undressed and dressed in front of him. Every ounce in his body wanted to take you in front of the mirror, but with the look on your face and your pacing he knew you were in a hurry.

"Oh okay. I was thinking dinner tonight with Sam, Ja'marr and Tee? Said they missed your cooking."

"Yeah sure. I'll text you when I leave the office." You smiled grabbing your work bag off the bed and rushing out the door before Joe could even pull you in for a goodbye kiss.

The only thing joe could think about all day was you. He couldnt wait till you got home and have you to himself, even though he needed to wait a few for you to play host. The text came in 2 hours after the boys arrived and they were well into a game of 2k. Screaming and jabs made them forget about the food that was promised.

'Hey sorry on short notice staying late tonight. New project is big. Tell the boys I'm sorry and that I'll cook for them next week. Don't wait up for me.'

'It's okay mamas, don't work yourself to hard. I love you'

All he revived was a heart reaction and no follow up text. He found that strange, but put it off as you were focusing on your work. He understood that. Quickly ordering some takeout the boys didn't mind hearing that next week they were for sure getting your cooking.

Joe didn't even know when you got home last night. Having the boys over drained him so he went to sleep earlier then he thought, he tried to stay up to wait fr you but failed. So to his surprise you weren't even in bed when he woke up. You weren't in the bathroom either. When he made his way downstairs he saw you already dressed for the day washing your finished coffee cup and making a new batch to go.

"Hey I didn't hear you get in last night."

"Yeah I crashed on the couch. To tired to go upstairs." Which had some truth to it. He knew you loved the couch so it wasn't strange you slept downstairs.

"Already heading out?" He asked coming up behind you circling his arms around your waist burying his head into the crook of your neck.

"Just for a few hours. Want to understand the project to I can bring it home for a few days."

"Mhmm, sounds good I missed you home." He mumbled still being comfortable in the crook of your neck.

"You need to get ready for practice and I need to run." You gave him a tight lip smile before rushing out with your coffee and bag in hand. No goodbye kiss, not even a goodbye in general.

He knew something was up, but couldn't figure out what. This whole week since he got back you were short with him. He wasn't even sure he saw you for an hour combined this whole week. The three men who were over that night could tell Joe was deep in his thoughts.

"What's got you all depressed?" Expressed Ja'marr as they were taking a break on the bench. 

"My girl. I haven't even seen her for an hour combined the whole week."

"Woah what did you do to piss her off." Next was Sam who spoke what everyone was thinking.

"Nothing I think? When I got back home she was running off with Milla for a sleepover and that turned into 2 days. When she came back the next morning she was rushing to get to work and stayed overtime which is why she didn't have dinner with us and this morning she was up and out when I woke up. I got two sentences out of her before she rushed out. No goodbye or even a kiss goodbye."

"Oh my guy you messed up big time." Tee said chuckling at the mans stupidity. He didn't know exactly what his teammate did, but knew it was his fault.

"I don't even know what I did! She wasn't like this before the week-" he stopped in his tracks now realizing what could be the cause.

"What did you do?" Ja'marr said knowing that face Joe made all too well.

"Before we flew out, the night before I told her that she was a distraction to me and that I couldn't focus on work with her being all over me." The QB hung his head wanting to knock himself out.

"You gotta be kidding me man."

"You blamed her for your shitty work performance?"

"Oh my god. I didn't even notice. I didn't think she was mad anymore after she was posting about the game on Sunday." Joe was now frantic. How could he have not know sooner.  

"Dude she posts every game it would be weird if she didn't." Tee said the obvious thing that Joe didn't seem to notice that it would be weird to everyone else if you didn't post.

"I would even question why she didn't post." Sam shrugged being the dude less on the internet out of the four. 

"Holy shit I'm a terrible boyfriend."

"Yeah you fucking are." Tee got out a little too fast.

"Wow thanks guys."

"It's your fault I didn't get her cooking last night? Unbelievable." Ja'marr exclaimed making Joe roll his eyes. Of course that was all he focused on.

"So how are you going to make this up?" Sam spoke seeing his friend stressing out.

"I don't know. But I need to do something before she comes home."

As soon as practice ended he rushed home having no time to waste. On the drive home he managed to order food from your favorite restaurant, have flowers delivered to home and a bag you've been eyeing for months. He was going to wait till Christmas to get the bag, but what better time than right now. As dangerous as it would be to be on his phone while driving he checked your location every minute to make sure he would make it home before you. Just as he reached home it was when you left your work place. He hoped you'd come straight home and not make any detours. 

He worked fast, putting the flowers front and center on the kitchen counter, unpacked the food and put it on plates and finally placed the Dior package next to the flowers. Smiling at the little set up he looked at this phone seeing he had time to get dressed up. Sure you didn't mind the sweatpants and a bengals shirt but he didn't feel like it was the most "i'm sorry" fit. 

Walking through the door you let out a sigh. As much as you wanted to avoid Joe more you couldn't help but admit you missed sleeping in your own bed especially with him in it. Maybe you should let up on your semi silent treatment. Your thoughts were paused when you heard your playlist coming through from the kitchen. Peaking your interest. Turning the corner you found Joe standing all dressed up with a goofy smile on his face.

"What is this?" You inquired placing your work bag on one of the free counters.

"A sorry, a i messed up and i didn't realize it till now."

"Joe-" you started before he cut you off.

"I missed the welcome homes, i love you's and the way call me by a nickname instead of Joe. I was stupid. i thought everything was okay with what I said to you last week but it wasn't. Trust me when i say i didn't mean it. This is no excuse, but it was an in the moment thing. I know my performance was shitty these last few weeks and that my day was bad and that was no excuse to take it out on you when you were only trying to make me feel better. I also know that i should've just came to you. The most understanding girl i know, especially when it comes to my job. I don't know what else to say besides i'm sorry." he got out all in one breathe which shocked you. He wants one for a grand speech, but he was pretty good at it.

"It took you almost a week to realize something was wrong with me." you still didn't want to let down your guard, you were going to milk him for everything he had to say.

"I know, I mean i knew you weren't alright since i left, but i guess i let the praise you gave me online clouded everything. Sorry it took me so long to realize."

"You know you made me feel like a slut. like all i wanted from the new hottest quarterback was sex. normally you like to take your mind off of work when it affects you that much but i was wrong and i'm sorry for that."

"Don't apologize. i never meant to make you feel that way, you are not a slut. you've been there for me since my first year at LSU. how could i make you feel any less." He said pulling you into an embrace which was much needed for the both of you.

"Do you forgive me?" He mumbled in your hair making you giggle at how whiny he sounded. 

"I do, and i missed you."

"I missed you more then you could ever know, this past week was worst than my losing streak."

"I doubt that but ill take it. now whats all of this?" You pulled away looking at the little fixture on the kitchen island."

"food from the place you like and a little gift."

"A little? It's a Dior package."

"Open it." he begged you.

Reaching over to the bag you didn't know what was going to be in it, Joe's love language was for sure gift giving so it was always a surprise. When you opened the box you gasped at the bag you've been eyeing out for months. You didn't even tell Joe about your interest in the bag. When you looked back up at Joe he had the signature smirk on his face. 

"How did you know?"

"I pay attention believe it or not."

"You didn't have to." You pouted up at him for the sweet gesture. No matter how many gifts he would shower you with it still caught you by surprise everytime.

"I wanted to. I was going to get you it for christmas, but i have enough gifts to spare." he said as a smirk creeped up on his face.

"You're unbelievable." You laughed pulled him down by the jacket he was wearing to plant a deep kiss. He couldn't help but bring you closer. Right when he was going to lift you up on the counter you pulled away.

"Food is going to get cold." You reminded with a smirk of your own making his drop.

"I haven't touched you in so long." he growled out making you laugh.

"Could've had sex the night before your flight and sex this whole week but thats on you." You said patting his chest as you made your way to sit on the barstool.

"Oh you're never going to let that go."

'am i getting my dinner next week?'

[ryukatters]

9:18 PM — s. geto ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊

content: fluff, friends to lovers, sort of self-ship coded, reader dates (shitty) men

pairing: suguru geto x gn! reader

a/n: got suguru on da brain rn. my first work for him! hello geto nation how we doin?? also i had to fight my autocorrect bc it kept changing geto to ghetto 😔

“Surely, you must lack respect for yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me," your best friend scoffs. 

It's not uncommon for you to end up at Suguru's doorstep, teary-eyed and sputtering after another failed attempt at romance. But he's hardly ever this mean. 

"What's so great about these guys? Tell me."

"They're...nice."

He sighs out your name in exasperation. He never uses that tone on you, ever. "You're literally miles out of their league. And they can't even afford to pay for both of your meals. How many times have you had to pick up the check for you and your date?”

You open your mouth to retort but wisely keep it shut. Suguru merely raises an eyebrow. 

"Exactly. How can someone be ugly and broke? Then still have the audacity to reject you? Pick a struggle."

"Well excuse me, mister 'I don't need dating apps because everyone just comes to me.' Not everyone is as fortunate as you are when it comes to romantic prospects." 

You're starting to question why you even came here in the first place. Indignation fills you as you slump down on Geto's couch, utterly defeated. 

He sits down next to you, placing a gentle hand on your knee with an even gentler look in his eyes. Your best friend's always been so kind, so thoughtful. That, paired with the fact that he's pretty easy on the eyes makes it easy to understand why he has suitors flocking from left and right. 

"Hey," he calls out, giving your knee a light squeeze. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"'s fine."

"No, it's not. It was insensitive of me.”

You know what else isn't fine? Geto wants to ask. The fact that you don't know what kind of guy you deserve. He wills himself to keep quiet, for both of your sakes. 

"Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something. That you have some karmic lessons you need to learn and all that. You say that all the time."

"I don't know. Maybe...maybe love just isn't in the cards for me, Suguru. I mean, what else could all of this mean?" 

You sniffle, and Suguru can feel his heart break into a million little pieces. He wants nothing more than to scoop up the shards and present them to you, in hopes that you can somehow press them back together to make it whole again. The same way you always come running back to him, the same way you trust him to mend your own heart time after time with gentle praise and reassurance. 

"Maybe every heartbreak is just bringing you closer to 'the one,’" he offers, the hand that was previously on your knee now rubbing comforting circles on your back.

"Do you honestly believe in that shit, Suguru?" He doesn't blame you for being so cynical. He would be too, he thinks. 

"I do," he professes without missing a single beat. 

"How?" Not why, but how? How could he possibly understand? How would he know if fate's thrown his so-called one and only his way?

"Because I've felt it," he hums. 

“You… have?” You’re not sure why you feel so disappointed all of a sudden. Why should you care if your best friend’s in love with someone?

“Why do you feel the need to look so far for love?” He counters.

“I…”

“Why don’t you try looking at what’s right in front of you for a change?”

That’s about as far as Suguru’s willing to lay it out for you— he hopes you can read in between the lines. Call it insurance— a way for him to spare his own feelings in case you decide he’s unworthy of your affection and toss him to the side of the road.

“Suguru, I’m not sure I understand what you’re trying to say…”

Yes, you do. Suguru wants to say. Just think a little harder. 

There’s a pregnant pause.

When he realizes that you’re unwilling to take another step forward, he figures he needs to just take the leap. Fuck the insurance. He needs to do as he says and prove to you that the trail of heartbreak behind you is all going to be worth it. Because you have him. Suguru can only hope that his love will be more than enough to heal you from a lifetime's worth of pain. 

“Give me a chance,” he whispers, his hands enveloping yours as he brings them up to his lips, pressing a sweet kiss to your knuckles. “Please. I’ll show you how you deserve to be treated, how you deserve to be loved.”

You gasp, unsure how to receive such a confession— especially one from Suguru, nonetheless. The two of you stay frozen for what seems like an eternity. You— afraid, inexperienced with being on the receiving end of anything remotely romantic. Suguru— tense, confession lying heavy in the room. It weighs down his soul with each passing moment he’s not yours. 

“Please,” he pleads, feeling the way your hands tremble in his. Or was it the other way around?

Fear begins to gnaw at Suguru’s insides, thoughts of losing you plaguing his mind as he wills himself to stay calm. He wants nothing more than to shrink into himself— until he hears you speak, tone light and teasing.

“Promise you won’t make me pay for our dinner on our first date?”

Suguru allows himself to let out a genuine chuckle, leaning forward to kiss your forehead.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

[droopywrites]

did you ever did a part 2 to jjk dudes meeting their child who’s from the future?

⋆｡Part || of JJK MEN meeting their future kids｡⋆

Author's notes: I don't think I've posted it! Considering it kind of left my mind and the old draft is gone, but I did write everything I remember here. Also, it's like 3am and I wrote this crying, not proofread.

CW: Swearing, killing, cannibalism(?) like mention of eating people, children.

Pronouns used for the kids: She/her for Geto and It/its for Sukuna.

Part | (Warning, it's from 2021)

Geto

Starting off strong with Geto.

Definitely another girl. He's such a girl dad.

On a regularly scheduled day like always; it was wake up, talk with his connections, mingle with his family, check on Mimi and Nana, see whatever the hell the non-sorcerers wanted, get greeted by a little girl that wasn't supposed to be on the estate...

What the fuck.

How did she even get here? Why is she here?

Geto would stare at this child in confusion and look around, waiting for someone to claim her.

He has a soft spot for children. Sorcerers, of course. Non-sorcerers, debatable.

So, low and behold this little girl running up to him to clutch at his robes. Him trying to pry her off of him with her relieved cries of "Papa! Papa!" escaping her lips.

Papa?

Holds her by the shirt's scruff like a cat and squints, ready to scold her but pauses when he sees her face.

Because, holy shit, that's literally his twin. And suddenly every rare hookup played in his mind.

But no, she looked no older than 3. He hadn't been with anyone at that time, or ever yet. Not that far.

Drops everything for the next couple of days just to make sense of the situation, only telling his beloved family.

Mimi and Nana fawn over the idea of a little sister but are a bit restrictive if it's not a permanent thing.

The girl didn't speak much except for addressing Geto, the twins, oh and you.

You...?

You.

You.

You, who had just returned from your trip overseas to oversee some tasks involving curses.

You, who the little girl immediately ran to and called "Mama! Mama!"

You, who Geto stared wide-eyed at and surprised as you two tried to settle the fact nothing even happened between you.

Yet.

When that little girl eventually left to her own time, with everything still fresh and confusing, Geto eventually approached you.

Because, well, he wanted to see that little girl again.

After few dates, then a relationship, then marriage. Maybe.

Sukuna

Listen, he is NOT spreading those cursed genes of his pre-human/post-cursed-spirit.

Man hates love.

But, during the Heian period. When some stupid kid wandered into his life as if it always belonged there, maybe, maybe, there was something else in that space in his chest but hunger and his definition of love.

So, there it was. Whatever it was. Standing there with large eyes focused on him with a semblance of admiration and malice.

"What are you looking at, brat?"

"You."

The audacity of this thing. He killed it immediately.

And then it came back. So, he killed it again. And again. And... what the fuck.

This little shit was persistent.

His kid. He doesn't know how. But definitely his kid.

A worthy successor? Fuck no, he's not dying or leaving it as some birthright to a hindrance.

Learning of its origins was pretty interesting, to say the least.

"Not a human? I figured. A curse made from me, huh? Someone weak must hate me so much."

That meant a human parent. Or multiple human parents. Gross.

He wasn't getting into that.

The kid was though.

It often visited this village to... eat? Kill? Fight? Whatever makes it happy.

...

The hell do you mean it was visiting its human mother?

It had a mother? It had a mother that cursed him so much it resulted in a personalized cursed child?

He could see it stare longingly at that woman's village and before he could even kill her, his offspring said goodbye.

"I'll see you in the future, yeah?"

And then Sukuna was sealed.

He probably searched for his offspring in the Modern era.

Author's notes 2: Stopping with these two because it's been a while since I've posted seriously on this account, 2 years? Maybe I've gotten better, maybe not. This was the idea but with updated better minds. Maybe I'll do the others separately again, Yuji, Yuta, Megumi, Toge. Just did the adults first. Doing Choso and Higuruma definitely.

[kissforyouu]

Can you write a drabble of Oc being mad at him because some old fling sent him a pic through his DM’s and she saw, even though he never responds to the girl she still got mad

your eyes go completely wide, your expression just— shocked. wait, no, no! jumpscared is the right word. you grit your teeth while staring down at your boyfriend's phone displaying the nude photo of some other woman. and you couldn't help but think that if this was proof of jungkook cheating on you, you would've gone crazy on spot. but fortunately, it's not.

still though, due to your own suspicions you scroll up the chat only to be met with messages exchanged about 5 months before you two's relationship started. thank fuck, he is not cheating. you just almost had a heart attack.

still, you were mad though. the audacity for this bitch to send nudes to a man who's clearly in a relationship. it's not like jungkook doesn't post you, he posts you on all his socials, there's no way she wouldn't know. shame on her, she's just embarrassing herself.

but that's not even what made you mad, though. it's the fact that jungkook had already viewed it. he's already seen the picture and had left it on seen. despite being glad that he didn't reply or anything, you still couldn't help but feel jealous over the woman. you had everything she didn't - jungkook. he has just left her on seen, hasn't even bothered to block her!

you huff, blocking her yourself. fucking hell. great, now your entire mood's ruined.

"my phone's with you?" here he comes.

you don't say anything bad, clearly upset with him.

"i was looking for it. what'd you do with it?"

why? is he scared i'll find all his hoes?

you sit in silence. there was a big fat frown evident on your face, the face you often make when you're angry.

"y/n?" jungkook stands in front of you, raising his eyebrows wondering what the hell he did wrong again. he doesn't say anything but reaches forward to grab his phone from the grasp of your hand.

the moment he does that, you get up, storming out of his living room and into his bedroom. uh oh, you're stomping on the floor. —eek, here it comes ; jungkook pokes the inside of his cheek once he heard the door shut with a very loud thud. at this point, he was used to your attitude. but he just couldn't figure out why exactly you were mad at him.

—oh, nevermind. the man sighs, running his fingers down his face while he took a short glance at the explicit image sent to him by one of his old flings about a week ago. he didn't know you'd go through his instagram. coming to think of it, your attitude is justifiable. its his fault too, noh? he didn't block or anything. i mean, not his fault he doesn't even remember the girl's name.

but he noticed that you had already blocked her. he takes another deep sigh, eyes staring at his door, now closed. he had to console you somehow.

"baby?" your boyfriend knocks on the door thrice, and when you don't answer him, he decides he's gonna break in. it's his room anyway.

he walks in to be met with the sight of his pretty little (angry) girlfriend sitting on his bed, staring into the nothing of the nothingness. you looked cute, he thought. but now's not the time to pull jokes. (i think)

"my love." jungkook walks closer to you and bends down to meet your eyelevel on the bed. but you look away, avoiding his eye contact. he giggles, accepting the challenge and moving his face in front of wherever you're looking at. three or four of these and you're sick of him already, breaking into a whine as you slapped his shoulder.

"who the fuck is gianna and why's she not blocked?!" how come you remember the girl's name and not him when he was the one who talked to the girl for like, uh, uhhh, like, a few months or weeks, jungkook thinks.

"baby, she sent me that shit recently. i haven't talked to her ever since we both started dating, you know that very well. whatever you think happened, did not happen." he looks at you, waiting for a response.

he did say the truth though. you should—

"you're overreacting." nevermind. "overreacting" is crazy.

"i am NOT overreacting." you break your silence, "what would you feel if you saw the nudes of one of my exes on my phone, huh, jungkook?! bet you'd fucking LOVE that."

jungkook remains silent for a few seconds while you gave him the "told you so" look.

"don't fucking talk to me—"

jungkook flicks your forehead, forcefully pulling your upper body towards him so that your face would be pressed against his stomach. you let out muffled screams, completely annoyed.

"come on, i'm sorry, babyyy. we're fine, okay? i will immediately block and even report if this happens again. y/n—"

"eeek! i said don't talk! now—let me. go!" he had you on a headlock so it was harder for you to get out of his grip. you kept wiggling around like a worm, but in the end, you just give up, accepting defeat.

"i'm sorrryyy, my princess. you want my instagram pass? i'll give you. you know i love you only. i'm sorry i made you feel that way." he cups your cheeks, planting a sweet double kiss on your forehead.

but you just glare at him.

[ellllsia]

People really underestimate my hatred for Uther. I mean, whenever this man appeared on screen, I considered homicide, like actual murder. Could have gone on whole rampage. This man is so utterly jarring. It's surreal.

He's a very unjust king, blinded by his hatred and guilt. You should have seen me once they had explained why he hated magic. This man has executed so many innocent people who were most of the time only suspected to breathe the same air as a sorcerer. They were either flogged or burnt alive or even drowned in a well. Simply because of a mistake he made. He also doesn't care for his people as much as he claims endangering their lives more than once.

He's also a horrible friend. "But I didn't suffer at his hands, Uther. I suffered at yours." This episode was so unnerving. Gaius, at his very old age, was thrown into the dungeons with no care for his wellbeing, was left to be tortured by a total maniac, and was betrayed by his so called "friend" whom he was loyal to for so long. He treated his ward, took care of his son, and has always been a trusted ally. Only for him to get flogged the second some kind of magical bracelet has been found in his room ??? Also, let's not forget how Morgana's father died.

Finally, Uther is an abusive piece of shit father.

In the episode where Arthur leaves for his quest to prove himself worthy of the throne, Morgana goes to Uther, reassuring him that he will be back. This man has the audacity to say, "He's the sole heir to the throne, Morgana." He doesn't say he's my child, my only son, or something along these lines. Nope, but simply declares that he doesn't care for his son as much as he cares for having somebody to inherit the kingdom once he's gone. Then, there is the fact that he doesn't tell him the truth about his mother's death even after he discovers it. What a coward. He puts Morgana in shackles and lets her spend a whole night in the dungeons. Needless to say, this man doesn't care for his kids.

He truly deserved hooking up with that troll.

Damn, really needed to get this off my chest.

[nocofamilyau]

Out of curiosity, Do you think Cody would still keep in contact with Gwen? And is Ezekiel doing better now atleast?

(me shamelessly asking a random question before asking abt my favorite character to not look suspicious /j)

like in canon (or, at least taking Christine Thompson's word for it..), Cody's attraction to Gwen fizzled out after World tour ended. sure, they kept in contact for a little while after but eventually that came to an end as they naturally moved on with their lives

this was from another ask that's now invisible in my inbox (probably due to the account that asked being deactivated - its pretty much on me for not answering what's in my inbox sooner/being put off trying to put each ask into a coherent order, deepest apologies for that), but it's mainly Cody that constantly wonders how the other TDI contestants (except the ones that he already still sees personally) are going, I guess more as like a passing thought.

(also, yet another retcon, hopefully the last one for a while - I mentioned in an earlier post that Cody was close friends with Sierra, who co-writes for his celeb gossip blog.. well the blog is still a thing, but has long since been abandoned. it was more of a side project Cody did during his 20's, with Sierra occasionally writing some stuff for it here and there. one day however, something clicked in Cody's mind - something that should have clicked long ago, and he stopped spending as much time with Sierra. hell, he probably hasn't seen her in years at this point, probably for the better..)

as for the Ezekiel question... oh man, I was sort of dreading when I would bring this up, since this idea has been stewing in my mind for a good while now, and admittedly, from one Zeke enjoyer to another, this will not a pleasant thing to reveal, but there needed to be a reason for Total Drama to be cancelled in this au, other than to needlessly justify why all newer generations of TD cast members are much younger than they are in canon

Ezekiel's dead. when he fell into that volcano in the World Tour finale, he didn't end up making it out (I mean, dude was submerged in BOILING LAVA - I get its a cartoon but its far from believable that someone could survive that). some say he was put out of his misery, others think it was a perfect example of how greed could ruin a person, but all in all, it was fucked. it was not a pretty death, and the fact that Chris and the TD production crew still had the AUDACITY to keep footage of and broadcast someone's death on international TV was enough to get the show cancelled immediately and get the shit sued out of Chris. at least now he can't terrorise anymore teens, sucks to be him...

[sagesskies]

just played Binary Star Hero, loved it, amazing, chefs kiss, Hals can take my heart and soul. Love them sooo much.

And an idea just struck me: Awkward Yandere Hero who is also your ex, meanwhile you're the guy who manages his tech.

The guys running the agency wanted him to be presented as the perfect, ideal man, and in this heteronormative world, the ideal man was straight, so they had him start dating another superhero. You got that, you could handle that, but what pissed you off was that he couldn't at least fight for your relationship when the higher-ups wanted him breaking up with you.

so you take the initiative, and don't let him keep beating around the bush, and break things off first. Good riddance honestly, what need do you have of a man who wasn't even willing to fight for you?

You keep working for the same agency, managing their tech, fixing it up after any errors, making sure everything runs in tip, top shape. But you refuse to do anything for him, no. They can get somebody else to do that.

everytime you two speak, it's always tense. him, the 'strong' 'virile' and 'masculine' hero practically cowering before you, the glorified tech support.

"Uh, h-hey [Name]!"

"... Helios."

"How... how are you?"

"I'm fine. What do you want?"

"Uh. To talk?"

"... Leave."

"I just want to chat-"

"Now."

"Okay. Goodbye. Take care. Love you- I mean, uhhhh, t-take care- Wait shit I already said that- Uh. Uh. Bye!"

Your colleagues tell you to pity him more, he had no choice you know? The agency paid his bills, they gave him a job, they were the reason why he wasn't taken to the government testing labs and made a labrat like all the other non-hero superpowered humans. So he was in no position to say no to their demands.

So were you supposed to pity him? To constantly let him do whatever he wanted? Let him miss all the dates, the dinners, to focus more on work than your relationship? Were you supposed to pity him when he didn't bother to explain himself when pictures were released of him going into a hotel room with some model? To let it slide without a single explanation?

You have too much respect for yourself.

When you try to hit the dating scene again, to be able to fully solidify that you are truly moving on from your ex... but for some reason, said ex always ruins everything?!

every single place you take your dates, it's suddenly infested with your ex's fanclub as hundreds of people all clamor around, disrupting others as they all try to at least look at the famed hero Helios who was reported to have been sighted, just your luck, in your general area!

and not to mention, what happens when he decides to approach you in public, while your on a date, and the other guy just so happens to be a big fan of his and all of a sudden you're just tossed aside as your date gets his fucking forehead signed by your ex.

and still, still, he has the audacity to try to strike up a conversation with you.

"Hey, [Name]!" Helios- No, Hollis, greets you cheerfully.

You don't bother to respond, focusing on fixing the dents in Liquid Steel's metal suit. Slamming the hammer down on the outward dents, grunting when you accidentally move the dent inward and use the dolly to fix it.

Hollis, hesitantly, comes closer to you. Despite the fact that you were holding a hammer, he wasn't afraid. You know that he's sturdy and durable, more than other supers, but he is still flesh and bone. If you caught him off guard...

"So, uh, since the other mechanics are a bit busy... I was wondering, could you-"

"I won't, Helios," You glare at him, "Just wait for one of them to come back or something."

Hollis chuckles awkwardly, "Ah, well, I'll actually be needing it fixed soon," His eyes wander around your workspace, before going back to focus on you, eyes a brilliant gold, "I'm... gonna be sent on a mission."

You recall when he'd miss your anniversary dinner, and told you he had to be called out for an emergency extraction. He was fidgeting the entire time, hand rubbing at his neck where you saw lipstick stains that he was doing a shit job at hiding.

Looking at him now, you can tell he's lying the same way he was back then. But for different reasons now.

"No." You say with finality.

"But-"

You drop your hammer, and grab him by the collar of his shirt. Pulling him closer till your foreheads were pressed against each other. His eyes widen, and he gulps.

"I said no," You snarled, spit flying against his face, "Why can't you fucking get that into your thick skull, hm?"

Your hands grasp tighter onto the fabric of his shirt, nearly tearing it off, "You've been a right fucking creep, yknow?" You give him a cruel, crooked grin, "I know what you're doing- You've been fucking stalking me, haven't you?"

"[Name], I-"

Maybe it's the stress from work, the breakup, the failed dates, Hollis himself, his mere presence being enough to tip you over the edge. Whatever it is, you snap.

"Shut up!" You scream at Hollis, "I hate you- I hate you so, so, so much!"

More than you hated Hollis, you hated the situation. It's more than just sabotaging your love life, and always bothering you with his awkward small talk, you wished he started trying before you ended it. You wished it didn't take you leaving for him to beg for you to come back.

You feel like the gear that you're in charge of fixing. Some heroes take care of theirs like it's their baby, always careful, but never getting enough work done because of it. Some are able to tolerate it getting damaged, and do their duty. But some? Some are willing to let it suffer intense damage, nearly become irreparable, all for the sake of their job.

Hollis is like that, you think. He let your relationship decay, rot, and fester, till it became nothing more than a shell of what it used to be. But you were too tired to fix it. Why bother anyway? You were old news, software that needed to be updated. So like any person with common sense, Hollis got an update.

Your face grows warm, you think it is from the shame for your outburst, before you realize it is also wet, and that you are actually crying. You don't want to, but you slump against his chest, and bury your face into the warmth of his shirt.

You beat weakly at his chests, "I hate you... I hate you Hollis." You sob.

Hollis shifts, you think he's about to pry you off, but then you sense a familiar presence over your back, and then a hesitant, but comforting hand is rubbing soothing circles into your back.

"It's... It's okay [Name]," His voice is shaky, and you think he's crying too, "No matter how much you hate me, I'll always love you."

[isa-ghost]

In honor of phil confirming that (most) rp phils are the same, maybe some headcanons about q!phil with some of the ex-dsmp members? Or veterans/smpearth?

For the sake of keeping tons of opportunity for more Phil/DSMP member headcanons in the future, I'll focus one duo! And it'd be a fucking crime if I didn't start with Emduo >:)

I WILL say here for anyone thinking of sending more Phil/DSMP requests: I will not be doing Dream Team or Wilbur & Phil. Even though the latter had a huge impact on cPhil.

These might be more general Emduo than DSMP Era specific but hey, that leaves room for more requests too. :D

Dear god these are reminding me I should rewatch Phil's DSMP vods, I'm so rusty on this shit. Apologies in advance if suddenly I get insane about cPhil in the future LMAO.

qPhil headcanons masterlist

First off, I personally don't ship them romantically. I'm not even sure about shipping them as a QPR, that's a maybe. But I do know they were ride or die brothers in arms. The unstoppable force to the other's immovable object. A duo that's down in history in every realm Phil's been in so far.

Even so, just bc he had no feelings of that kind for Techno specifically, spending so much time with him as just the two of them still contributed to him going "Hm. Yknow what, I think I could see myself having a male life partner maybe." So thanks Techno for still playing SOME part in Phil's journey into being fruity.

Techno was one of the first immortals Phil ever encountered, at least the first one he befriended and stayed around long term. It.. was a breath of fresh air to say the least. To know he had eternity with Techno if all things went well, to never have to fear being alone again, knowing there'd always be a when I see you again.

But Techno was immortal, not invulnerable. Same as Phil. Phil was shattered when he lost him. It's by far the worst instance of being reminded he's permanently fated to lose any and all attachments he makes.

Techno found endless entertainment in Phil basically playing Get Off My Lawn with every other member ever whenever they'd come bother the two in their tundra home. He'd purposely go without additional measures to keep people out and away just because he loved watching Phil deal with it or hearing him rant about how many times he had to while Techno was asleep or away.

Phil personally did NOT like some of the "allyships" Techno chose to make, but he was still ride or die with him, so he tolerated them and helped him. And he trusts Techno. He knows in the end, Techno saw some kind of benefit for them. Or the two of them mutually agreed that the destruction entailed in the task was worth it.

Though that changed throughout their time in DSMP. Repeatedly being used and weaponized or crawled to out of desperation rather than genuine desire. It made Phil HATE people for a while, especially mortals. It's why QSMP has him so fucked up present day. For an entire year he was wanted by people, for him. He encouraged Techno to go as ballistic as he did. Even if it was a means to someone else's ends, if they were brutal then at least it demonstrated that the two of them were NOT to be fucked with or taken for granted.

The fucking house arrest and "festival." GOD. That was the first time in a long time Emduo had endured some kind of trauma together. It kicked Phil while he was already down. The fact that none of them cared how he felt or thought in the wake of putting his son out of his misery, now they were giving him a front row seat to the execution of the only person close to him he had left in this realm. Techno felt like the only tangible thing he had left, and they had the audacity to force him to watch them attempt to rip that thing away as if he hadn't lost enough or didn't care that he did. The attempt made Phil EXTREMELY protective of Techno, even though Techno was extremely able to handle himself.

The Syndicate was Emduo's attempt at a found family of their own. What L'Manberg had going was solid minus the government part, it wasn't the community that was the problem. As two immortals who didn't have much besides each other, it was nice to take in a couple people who'd been wronged or forsaken just like them and give them a place to belong and hopefully find some peace. Besides, Phil LOVED being a mentor for them, showing them how to fight & such. Training them alongside Techno,, 🤩 That was his happy place, teaching others to be as strong as them.

Phil's always been more of a Support role guy. He's said it himself plenty of times. That went for Techno especially. He let Techno call the shots, and he'd be at his side no matter what. There's something to be said about how in the same way Etoiles said "I am your arms, just tell me who needs to die," Phil was very much the same way for Techno.

God, honestly, aside from the whole being used repeatedly thing, DSMP gave Phil so much nostalgia for SMPE. Him and Techno vs everything else. He'd missed wearing those antarctic outfits.

When he arrived in DSMP, he didn't expect Techno to be there. He was ELATED, even though he was nowhere near in the emotional state to show it.

I am OBLIGATED to mention the oopsie with the creeper in Techno's cabin. Phil was so bad at playing dumb about it and pretending it never happened. Techno would've never let him live it down.

Phil often falls into mentor roles whenever he's among people. He did no differently in DSMP. But not for Techno. He always appreciated how Techno didn't need him, he wanted him. Now that he's gone, Phil really hopes he finds that kind of companionship again. It's not quite the same as what he has with Kristin or Rose.

After Techno left DSMP, Phil grew even more protective of the tundra. He viciously forbid anyone outside of the Syndicate from coming around unless they had a damn good reason. He'd sooner throw his friendship emerald in lava than let something happen to the cabins while Techno was gone, no matter how long that might've been.

[darkwitch1999]

@darkwitch1999, I got a question. It’s a little bit of Marinette salt, but what was Noelle and Devin’s worst experience with Marinette/Ladybug?

Well, @princessbutterflysposts. In an alternate reality where Marinette/Ladybug is an even worse bitch than Chloe, Lila, or even the Parisian Mean Girls quartet, I can imagine any one of these scenarios happening that would cause Noelle and Devin to hold a grudge.

Devin Nolan

During the first year of junior high, Marinette almost turned him into a social pariah just because he comes from a wealthy family and she saw him talking to Chloe ONE TIME! Apparently having money and telling Chloe to "fuck off" meant that he was another spoiled rich brat according to Marinette's perspective.

Fortunately, it didn't take long for Devin to convince everyone that he was nothing at all like Chloe. Though Marinette just switched tactics and used his cold, aloof personality as an excuse.

Ignores Devin's intense fear of being touched. She claims that Devin is just being "angsty" and "overdramatic" and doesn't take his phobia seriously.

Whenever Devin shoves her off or hits her whenever she touches him, she plays the victim card, making it seem as if Devin was a jerk despite her being the one clearly in the wrong.

Marinette mocked Devin's psychological fixation on being perfect when she found Devin having a panic attack in an isolated area of the school after he had gotten a 99% on a test. Didn't even stop to consider that as a red flag of psychological trauma/abuse. Again, claiming that he was being "overdramatic".

Ladybug tried to recruit him into becoming a superhero when someone he was close to got akumatized, but when Devin refused because he wasn't interested or comfortable with becoming a superhero, Ladybug had the audacity to call him "selfish".

Devin eventually gave in when Ladybug wouldn't stop pestering/gaslighting him for his help. Jokes on Ladybug, when Devin saw an opportunity to talk the akuma down, he de-transformed right in front of the akuma and revealed himself. He had to endure a harsh lecture from Ladybug about how what he did was "dangerous" and that she could never trust him with a miraculous again.

Devin wasn't even fazed by Ladybug's rant. The whole time she's lecturing him he is all like ("Yeah, don't ask me to do this shit again!").

Noelle Odeja

She's best friends with Lila....need I say more? Well, alright then.

Noelle played a horror-themed practical joke on Marinette on Halloween by putting fake dismembered body parts in her locker. Immediately, Marinette made it seem like she was being "victimized all over again" and compared the prank to the ones that Chloe and Kim played on her last year despite Noelle's joke being tame compared to what those two pulled.

Marinette's "Liars and Cheaters are losers" mentality has made her unsympathetic to Noelle's family problems. Thinking that Noelle's father is a horrible person for having an affair when she doesn't know how abusive Noelle's mother is towards her husband.

Every time Noelle brings up her parents arguing at home again, the first thing that comes out of Marinette's mouth is "What did your Dad do this time?".

The scar near Ronan's eye? "He probably deserved it!" Bitch, the woman blinded him just because he was defending his son from his transphobic mother!

Noelle wore a dress to school on the ONE day a year she wears a skirt or dress (Picture Day) and Marinette won't stop telling her how she looks "better" or "prettier" in dresses and that she should wear them all the time, ignoring the fact that Noelle expressed her distaste for wearing dresses and skirts.

Since Ronan and Gabriel Agreste are old friends and Ronan does photography work for him sometimes, Marinette is always trying to exploit this to her favor by trying to convince Noelle to help her with the "Adrinette" plans. ("Uh, hell no.")

Noelle's brother, Michael, offers free nail paintings to Noelle and her friends. Naturally, Marinette is not on the friends list and thus does not get the privilege of having awesome nail polish art done on her nails like everyone else.

In retaliation, Marinette called in a fake anonymous tip to the police that Michael was in possession of illegal drugs. No surprise that the police didn't find anything but because the studio that Michael worked at knows about his history of substance abuse, he had to pass a drug test to avoid getting fired.

Though Noelle couldn't prove it, something just kept nagging at her that Marinette was responsible for the bogus report.

Ronan had gotten akumatized after having a horrible fight with his wife. Noelle was present when her father got de-akumatized and she had to listen to Ladybug give her father a speech about "forgiveness" and that he should apologize to his wife. Noelle had to summon every ounce of restraint that she had to not punch Paris's "beloved superheroine" in public.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If there was a cult club out there that was all about hating Marinette, I bet that these two would join in a heartbeat.

[oddballwriter]

My god I just finished reading all of your moon boys as dads blurbs and holy shit

I was hoping you would write a blurb/one-shot where Marc just can't help but compare fem! reader (they have 2 sons) and his mother, but the reader doesn't act the way his mom would and that is slowly but surely healing him. Maybe also where their younger boy gets hurt while playing with his brother and she calms their oldest by saying "It wasn't your fault, you didn't do it on purpose". Poor Marc would definitely start crying as soon as they're alone. Anyway, toodles!

Healing Wounds

Summary: Fatherhood was something that really healed Marc in a way that he couldn't imagine, and with that, situations are a lot less stress-inducing and let him enjoy finer moments with his family.

Warnings: Talk about Marc's trauma. Thoughts of self-doubt and being unable to let go of the past. Y/N and Marc (and the rest) being good parents. A whole lot of fluff at the end.  

Author’s Snip: We love letting our man heal his mental and emotional wounds.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 859

It was kind of funny. Of course, you and him end up having two sons. It just had to happen like that didn't it. It wasn't like he didn't want them. God, no. Marc would never trade his boys for anything and he knows that neither would you.

But it was always there in the back of his mind. The faintest overlay in his vision and memory to back when he was a kid and all of its awful moments. All the screaming, crying, pain, and moments and milestones that were stained no matter how much he tried to scrub the bad out.

With your first, Aaron, there was the dread of being a parent and doing it wrong. He didn't want to get any of it wrong but there was the dilemma of where exactly he was meant to be. Too much of a pushover then his son would be spoiled and never get the hang of life. Too strict and demanding then he'd just be her. And Marc would rather die than even be her in the slightest. It was a hard thing for him to balance in his own mind. Marc was gone for a while but you all knew that it was for him to reflect and gather himself. Marc very much still had some wounds that he needed to lick before he took that journey.

And he did great. All three of them did great in their own ways but Marc clearly felt more comfortable and secure with himself being a dad and also working with you. You knew deep down that you were a part of that security, that the image was mostly on you. And you made sure that Marc never saw her in you even once. It's not like you were planning too, of course. You couldn't even imagine doing such things, or how any mother could have the audacity.

But when Matthew, or Matty as you all call him, came along there was a new dilemma that brought on more thoughts that wouldn't leave him alone. But Marc knew that Aaron and you managed to heal those wounds, so he knew that this would heal up so much more. He just needed to believe in himself and you, and the process.

Marc had the usual talk that a parent would with a soon-to-be older sibling, the whole "Just because we're having another one and are giving them more attention doesn't mean we don't love you. They just need more attention because they're small". Aaron understood, matter of fact he seemed really excited to be an older brother. Marc took that and made it something to use for healing. You and him taught Aaron how to help take care of Matthew and how to hold him, letting him be a part of his baby brother's life.

Years went by and they both grew, you bought a house, Marc started feeling better, and everything felt perfect. Sure, there were some moments but they never really impacted anything. There was no fear, no nights spent laying awake worrying about something happening, no moments where the ghosts of a past long since passed showed up in his mind.

That was until one day when everything was seemingly normal. You were doing something, Marc wasn't really paying attention and also couldn't remember what he was doing either. The boys were playing in the backyard. But at some point, you both hear a scream and then a cry coming from the backyard.

Rushing out, you find Matthew sitting on the grass crying and holding his foot while Aaron is kneeling next to him and looks upset and panicked. You go and pick up Matthew while Aaron is repeating "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." and possibly about to cry himself. That's when it all gets Marc, and hard.

He feels overwhelmed by everything, but just before it gets too much he sees you try and settle your boys down. "What happened?" you asked Aaron calmly while holding Matthew who was sniffling into your shoulder. "We were playing soccer and he was going to get the ball in my goal so I tried to stop him, but I didn't know where his foot was so when I kicked he fell." Aaron explains as he starts to cry. You kneel down to his eye level, "Hey, it's okay, sweetie." you shush, "Was it an accident?" you ask. Aaron nods as he whips his tears. "Okay, then it wasn't your fault. You didn't mean to trip him." you say as you help him whip away his tears. "Are you okay, Matty?" you ask the smaller boy to which he nods.

"Alright. Then why don't we just hug it out and maybe sit down for a little or do something inside, yeah?" you suggest. The two boys immediately go in for the group hug, but you glance up at Marc, seeing him watch the whole thing, and gesture for him to join in. Marc, trying to hold back the water in his eyes, joins in. It lasts a few seconds but Marc can feel the situation healing up something again.

[minerwarfare-suzuya]

Guess we're back to this Again

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

I guess this is sad news because Miles will be deleting his blog again and going back to being a private blog without trace.

But why?

Well all I can say that this aged poorly-

But to be fair no one was 100% accepting of his apology. We were all skeptical about his changed ways.

Though I can't deny that I genuinely did think he had changed and was showing proof that he moved past that annoying phase of harassing or bullying artists and users alike.

Boy was I wrong and to think that I had my expectations high. (I didn't)

What went wrong?

Apparently there had been stuff going on behind the scenes...

An artist that I shall not name has been dealing with Miles aggressive behavior directly in the DMs.

Which you would think he wouldn't fuck around and find out after this.👇

But I suppose he decided to fuck around and find out again.

Here's a screen recording of the conversation between this artist and Miles interacting but I've been told that it is best to fast forward onto the 2:33 timestamp.

"Tumblr just gives me bad vibes and i do not understand anything XD"

Yeah, I wonder why...

SURELY it mustn't be the consequences of your actions again.

Yeah, honestly I don't need to sound like a fucken broken record or be on repeat about Miles being a man child. I think it's clear that he went against his word by still being an entitled brat.

Just to also clarify that Miles Guidelines on his pinned post never specified that you cannot do changes to the oc or have them be used in your own AU. It was clearly stated that you can't claim them as your own or discredit their ownership.

But I think what's more upsetting is having the audacity to buy two OCs while knowingly that someone else wanted them.

Honestly at this point

Who gives a fuck? It's like damn me if I do use them or damn me if I don't use them for my own personal preference.

Just the fact that you had shove Mobox87's name to justify your argument and be on your high horse is utterly disgusting behavior!

Especially after apologizing and going back to do the same shit again!

This is exactly why I and many others were skeptical of your apology. We knew that you'd do it again because we all knew you were just itching to go off at someone eventually using Mobox87's OCs in the way that it triggered you.

But GOD forbid that person were ever me to go crazy at drawing characters you bought.

Anyways, I don't need to make this a long post on how this asshole is so disrespectful when I have these posts.

Miles ownership timeline drama

Aftermath Final Response

Plus the video shared is more than enough to get mad and be critical of Miles.

*sighs*

I never said this unironically but I think it will be the first time I say unironically and mean it.

KILL YOURSELF

Edit: Update! Apparently he's staying now-

But he still went against his apology. So, Fuck Miles.

Also-

[mystic-myrtille]

What did you think of Jagged Rock being revealed to be Luka's father?

Oh I have a lot of thoughts on that. As most things in the show, the execution is shit but the general idea is cool.

I mean, a plot line where the guy with daddy issues finds out that his deadbeat father, who left his mother behind with not one but two little kids and never even trying to reach out to them, is in reality his number one idol with whom he had interacted in the past.

That is fucking juicy.

There is so much potential for angst there. They could've explored Luka's trauma and the effects it has on his life, how he reacts to this reveal and ultimately how he tries to deal with it. Would he act out and cry over how shitty Jagged is?Would he let his friends and family comfort him? Or does he try to keep things to himself to not burden anyone? Does Jagged feel regret? Will he try to redeem himself? How do they move forward? Would Luka want to keep in contact with the man who abandoned his family? How would that affect Jagged's relationship with the rest of the cast? What if, for example, Luka doesn't want contact but Juleka does? The family dynamic is super messy and there's a ton of stuff you can do with that, develop characters further and have them grow.

And canon... yeah. The reveal is shoehorned into the Luka//nette breakup episode. It's not the main plot, not even a b-plot, it's just like a fun fact thrown in to justify Luka's reaction to Marinette keeping secrets.

Jagged then waits before the boat and just goes "Hey we can make dope music together:)" and Luka just fucking forgives him. Instantly. No questions asked. After Jagged has the audacity to say him leaving his family inspired some banger songs, one of which is Luka's favorite. After Luka yells at him with so much hurt in his voice why he abandoned him.

And then the show sets Jagged up as so great and cool that he came back to his family and stepped up as a loving dad who made amends with his ex gf (with whom he randomly flirted pre reveal but then had a bad relationship with her??) in order to have a happy family, completely ignoring that he only did all of that when he was specifically called out for being a deadbeat. Like had Luka not been akumatized into Truth, Jagged wouldn't have come back into their lives.

This whole thing ruined canon Jagged and are pretty clear indicators that the writers don't care about writing complex characters with complex feelings. It's all shook value and plot device.

But if the writers really didn't want Luka and Jagged to have a bad relationship, they could've just left it at "Jagged and Anarka were in a band once". Jagged learns that his old band mate has kids who are into music and have a band, so he decides to invite them to his studio, show them some cool stuff on the guitar, become their mentor. He doesn't have to be their bio dad to take care of them and love them. Of course, the show could've dropped some ambiguous hints that he might be, but then never confirm it because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Or if they confirm it, it's also a surprise to Jagged, so he wasn't there as a dad because he didn't even know he was one and now everybody adjusts their life according to this new revelation.

And I like those wholesome plots. I love fanworks about Couffaine family shenanigans, they're chaotic and awesome<3

So yeah, in conclusion, everyone involved deserved better.

[mysafehaneul]

IV.AQUAMARINE

CHAPTER 4: SHADOWS AND COURTS

A/N: I apologize for the late update a lot went down last week, my aunt passed away and a shit ton of family drama which left me very emotionally and mentally drained. I hope you guys like this chapter and i look forward to read your comments. Happy Reading!

P.S. Thank you for liking Aquamarine so far, every like every reblog means the world to me. I will be taking a Hiatus till October as I have my mid-terms at the end of September.

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JEON WONWOO X READER

WORDS: 8.5k+

GENRE: ARRANGE CONTRACT MARRIAGE AU! ENEMIES TO LOVERS!

Angst, Fluff, Smut (in future chapters not this one).

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Choices and changes are two things that are constant in every individual's life. Choices a person makes in certain situations can lead to a change that could be for better or for worse, yet these are the two things that no one can escape. In the gentle twilight of the city, a melancholic shadow casts a shadow over the newlyweds. The day had been a whirlwind of emotions, a crescendo of joy and celebration that now seemed to dissolve into a distant memory, like the last fading notes of a haunting melody.

The penthouse, perched high above the bustling city, offered a view that would usually have captivated anyone. Yet, for Y/N, it was merely a backdrop to the emotions swirling within her. As she stepped into the luxurious space, her heels dropped to the floor with a soft thud. The scent of freshly polished floors, infused with a subtle lemony fragrance, wafted through the air. It was Wonwoo's home, a place she had never been before, and it felt unfamiliar.

Wonwoo watched her, his eyes tracing her movements. His tie loosened, his collar unbuttoned, and he observed her with a silent curiosity. Y/N's fingers brushed against her temples, undoing the carefully arranged hairdo that had adorned her throughout the day.

"Nice view," she offered, her voice carrying a hint of detachment.

"Thanks," Wonwoo replied as he headed to the fridge. "Care for some water?"

Her head shook in a gentle decline, and she ventured further into the spacious penthouse. Wonwoo followed, his eyes never leaving her. There was a palpable change in her demeanour, an echo of a grand celebration that had given way to a profound stillness.

"The post-wedding blues," he mused, his voice a soft melody.

Y/N nodded, her gaze distant, as if searching for something lost in the past hours. She settled onto the plush couch, her fingers absentmindedly playing with her earrings.

"Why do I feel like your father hates me a little now? Wonwoo inquired, a faint smile playing on his lips.

"After the stunt you pulled today, any father ought to," she retorted, her tone laced with challenge.

Wonwoo, taken aback by her directness, cleared his throat. Y/N's audacity both intrigued and amused him.

"Well," he continued, "it was an emergency''. He couldn't help but feel a sting of guilt.

"Hmm," Y/N hummed, her gaze fixed on her earrings. "I know you're going to maintain your vices, but didn't I tell you to do a better job at hiding them?"

Wonwoo's silence was his confession.

Their eyes locked in a brief, challenging exchange that made Wonwoo realise why she was so respected in her field. She was a force to be reckoned with, a fact he had always found exhilarating.

Fiddling with her earrings again, she cleared her throat. "Wonwoo..."

"Pardon, what did you say?" he asked, momentarily caught in his thoughts.

"Room. Where is my room? I want to rest; my legs are killing me."

He was quick to respond, his voice gentle. "Ah, right. The master bedroom is the left door from straight."

"You didn't have to give me the master bedroom. We would've moved to Serene Villa by the end of next month after we brought Noel here."

The room seemed to hang in silence as he mulled over her words, the implications of what she'd said sinking in.

"Right? So where is your room?"

"Where yours is."

The confusion was clear in her eyes as she sought clarification.

"Pardon, what did you say?"

"My room is where your room is. I forgot to inform the staff to clean up the home gym."

"Home gym?"

"Yeah, the home gym used to be the guestroom."

"So?"

"So, you have to either sleep on the couch or you can take the bedroom. But don't worry; I'll sleep on the couch. You can take the room."

"Of course, I will take the bedroom, Wonwoo. You have this huge house, and you couldn't manage to clear out one room for me? That too, for just one week before we leave for Zurich... unbelievable."

He removed his blazer and started unbuttoning his sleeves, as if the act of undressing would ease his fatigue. "Listen, two weeks ago, I didn't even think that I'd get married, okay? I said you could take the bedroom. What's the big deal? And what's your family's obsession with words whose literal meaning is tranquilly?"

"What's your family's obsession with naming their projects after plants?"

"It's been seven hours since we got married, and you're already coming after families."

"Well, you started it."

"Y/n, I am tired, okay? And I'm pretty sure you are too. I'll call Alexandria to clear up the room tomorrow. So please, you can freshen up and rest in my room. Or is it that you're afraid to sleep alone?" 

You sighed, your shoulders drooping as you got up from the couch. He nonchalantly placed his blazer on the counter and took a sip from the cold bottle.

He paused, a mischievous spark in his eyes, and continued, "Well, technically, it's our room now. I can even hold your hand until you fall asleep."

You didn't have the energy to entertain his playful banter. With a weary expression, you turned and headed towards the bedroom.

"Wow, not even an offer to let me sleep on the bedroom couch? He teased.

You stopped abruptly, irritation bubbling up within you. "You have 17 housing societies and 6 hotels across the country. I'm pretty sure there's a bed available somewhere in your vast empire. If not, you can always return to the hotel where you took your little drunk, Mrs. Shoddy NDA."

A sly grin tugged at the corners of Wonwoo's lips. "It's quite a unique wedding night when the wife suggests her husband sleep elsewhere. If anything, I smell a little jealousy."

"Fuck off, will you?" She retorted and slammed the bedroom door with a resounding thud.

"Asshole," she muttered behind the closed door. 

The exchange left him feeling like he had just been painted with a scorching stroke of her fire, leaving his senses tingling and his ears ablaze with her presence.

...

In the hushed serenity of the midnight hour, you emerged from Wonwoo's adjoined bathroom, wrapped in one of his bathrobes. There was a subtle irony in the fact that he hadn't even bothered to ask the housekeeper to unpack your suitcase. His room spoke volumes about him, a blend of textures and shades, with its textured black wall adorned with a round mirror that emitted a soft, captivating glow from the lights behind it. The room's centrepiece was the bed, perfectly centred on an oak platform, with a grey round carpet resting beneath it.

The room was a harmonious blend of white and wood tones, creating an atmosphere that felt distinctly Wonwoo. On the left wall, two captivating paintings added depth and character, while the bathroom on the right continued the motif of black and white with impeccable finesse. 

As you walked into the bathroom, you couldn't help but admire its sleek design. The colour scheme of black and white continued here, creating a sense of modern elegance. The bathtub beckoned invitingly, promising moments of relaxation and contemplation. Large mirrors adorned the walls, reflecting your image from multiple angles.

The shower was enclosed in glass, giving it an open and airy feel. A smooth marble slab inside the shower caught your attention, and though you couldn't fathom why someone would want to sit in the shower, and you are being honest with yourself, you don't want to think about it either.

Every detail of this room, just like the man who occupied it, was a meticulously chosen piece of artistry. It felt as if you had stepped into his sanctuary, a place where every element was thoughtfully curated to create an atmosphere of serenity and sophistication.

The scent of his products lingered in the air, a reminder that this was indeed his domain. You could almost imagine him here, surrounded by the luxuries he had chosen for himself. Standing there in his bathroom, wrapped in his robe, you couldn't help but feel a strange mix of emotions. The room was a reflection of the man you had just married, and though it was foreign territory for now, you wondered how much of yourself you would eventually weave into this beautifully crafted space.

..

Your hair cascaded gently on the silk pillow, and while the bed was unfamiliar, it cradled you with a comfort you couldn't deny. The scent of Wonwoo, as if woven into the very fabric of the sheets, enveloped you. As you closed your eyes, the events of the day replayed in your mind.

Surrounded by your chatty cousin and aunt, talk swirled around your cousin's upcoming nuptials in Paris. Across the room, at the other end of the dining hall, stood Wonwoo, a glass of white wine in hand. The glint of the engagement ring you had given him caught your eye as he conversed with Chan and one of his cousins by the bar. Rachel, your trusted aide, appeared at your side and whispered discreetly, "I think you should see this."

You excused yourself from the table and joined Rachel on the balcony, where Wonwoo overheard your conversation with Rema when his family came for dinner. He was still within your peripheral vision, and as Rachel brought out her tablet and displayed pictures of Wonwoo carrying Eleanor into his hotel, you couldn't help but feel a surge of emotions. 

You handed the tablet back to Rachel with a firm command: "Kill these pictures; make sure no one can get their hands on them."

"Yes, boss," she replied, and you returned to your seat at the head of the table, doing your best to mask the turmoil brewing within you. You ignored the puzzled gazes that were beginning to notice your intense demeanor, as if they could sense that something was amiss. Wonwoo seemed like he was about to approach you, but his father intercepted him, leading him away from the party to have a private conversation in the library.

You clenched your eyes shut, trying to suppress the unsettling emotions that threatened to surface. You reminded yourself that loyalty from Wonwoo was something he didn't owe you, except in the context of your business partnership and Noel's adoption. The weariness finally overcame you, and you drifted into an uneasy sleep, your restless thoughts still churning beneath the surface. 

As you were on the verge of succumbing to slumber, the sharp ring of your phone pierced through the silence of the room.

...

It was a mere five minutes away from 3 a.m. when a distant voice called out to Wonwoo. Exhausted from the long day, sleep had come easily to him. Wonwoo was accustomed to living alone and even preferred it. At the age of 14, he had moved to London to study at St. Augustine Boarding School for Boys. Though he hadn't seen you since you entered his room, he was vaguely aware of your presence in his house. It provided him with a respite from his otherwise hectic and crowded life.

Before drifting off to sleep, his father's words in the Serenity Mansion library echoed in his mind. ''Y/N is important to us. I'm sure you don't want to wash your hands off that land. So, get your act together and make her fall—"

Suddenly, someone began shaking his body, calling his name.

"Wonwoo?"

''Wonwoo! Wake up!"

Startled, he jolted awake, momentarily disoriented about where he was and who was standing before him.

"Y/n," his voice hoarse from sleep and confusion, "what's wrong?"

You stood near the bed, your warm hand still resting on his forearm. He hadn't noticed his shirtless upper body. Your body language conveyed anxiety, as if something deeply disturbing had occurred. He adjusted his position, and you withdrew your hand, placing it by your side. He propped himself up with his hand behind his head and began to close his eyes again.

"Scared? Want me to hold your hand?"

"Will you shut up? I'm going to Switzerland."

This statement roused him fully.

"Why? Weren't we supposed to go next week?"

"We were, but Jeonghan called. He said that Noella's brother came to Noel's school. We don't know what he said to him, but he has had a high fever since last night and has been continuously calling my name. I have to leave."

You began to get dressed as Wonwoo followed you, still in a sleepy daze. 

"I've called Racheal since my pilot is on maternity leave. I'll head to the airport and book a flight. I know this is all—"

"Y/n, please, let me process this. You're leaving for Switzerland right now. Okay, but can't you wait it out? Kids fall sick all the time; maybe it's just a cold. If he gets better by the morning, then we can proceed according to the schedule."

"Wonwoo, that kid lost both of his parents at the age of five. You can't compare his mental state with every other kid, and I'm informing you that I am leaving."

You emerged from the bathroom with your hair pulled back in a ponytail and your phone ringing on the bed. You walked over to the walk-in wardrobe and pulled out your suitcase. You answered your phone.

"Okay, bring it to the airport. I'll meet you directly there."

"Who was it?" Wonwoo inquired.

"My driver."

"Listen, Wonwoo, I know this is really out of the blue, but I have to go. Noel needs me. I'll be in touch, okay? Just tell everyone that there was an urgent matter I had to attend to at the Switzerland branch. We'll discuss Oasis after all of this wraps up."

Wonwoo threw his head back and exhaled through his nose. "Y/n, it's almost 3 a.m. in the morning. I've only had half an hour of sleep, and people with cameras are always hounding us. Are you even thinking about how they'll twist this?"

"I know, and in all honesty, I don't care. I bet if it were you, then no one would even bat an eye. So—"

You put on your mask and walked out of the room with your suitcase in tow.

"I'll be in touch," you called out before the sound of the door closing echoed through the now-empty penthouse.

Wonwoo sat down on the bed, threw himself back, and rubbed his face with his hands as he groaned. Why is she so stubborn? He got up to search for his phone.

....

Since when did he start caring about what others think of me or us? You retorted sharply during your drive to the airport. As you were hurriedly confirming your ticket at the check-in counter for the fast lane, you realised that only economy seats were available. With a resigned sigh, you took one. deciding that it was the best option under the circumstances. As you worked on your laptop, the announcement for boarding began.

The gate was on the verge of closing when you felt someone take the seat next to you. Glancing up, you were surprised to see Wonwoo. Raising an eyebrow, you inquired, "What are you doing here?"

He replied, "It would be very unbecoming if I let my wife leave in less than 24 hours of our wedding ."

Your thoughts from earlier hung in the air, and you muttered, "Didn't think you gave a damn about what others think.'' Wonwoo's expression darkened at your comment, realising that he might have overreacted.

Throughout the flight, both of you worked on your laptops, immersed in your own worlds. The constant drone of the plane's engines made you drowsy, and you eventually dozed off. Wonwoo, however, found it impossible to sleep on flights, especially in the cramped economy seats.

He glanced at you, your head resting on his shoulder as you slept soundly. He noticed the long, delicate lashes framing your closed eyes, and a soft smile crept onto his lips.

An older woman seated on the other side of him leaned over and struck up a conversation. "Is she your wife?"

Wonwoo nodded. "We got married today, or, shall I say, yesterday."

The woman smiled warmly and congratulated him. "She is very pretty."

Wonwoo couldn't help but agree with a smile of his own. "I know." He went back to his laptop, adjusting your head gently on his shoulder. As the plane soared through the night sky. 

....

....

The sun hung high in the sky as you and Wonwoo stepped off the plane, greeted by the crisp air of Switzerland. You glanced at him, a teasing smile tugging at your lips. "I hope you brought sweaters."

Wonwoo chuckled, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "It's not my first time here, you know. I've been here thrice."

"Good for you," you replied, your tone light, as you led the way towards the awaiting car. "Our car is over there."

Victor, your lawyer and good friend who takes care of matters in your Switzerland branch, stood by the car, his tall frame and salt-and-pepper hair making him a striking figure. Rema, your attorney, would be working closely with him on this case.

As you introduced Victor to Wonwoo, his eyes widened slightly in recognition. "Well, Jeonghan is not going to like this."

"Jeonghan?" Wonwoo inquired, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"He's Noel's Godfather," Victor explained, his expression revealing a sense of intrigue.

Wonwoo couldn't help but wonder why Jeonghan's reaction to your marriage seemed significant. Did he hold feelings for you, or was there something else that would make him react strongly to this news?

With Victor now aware of Wonwoo's identity and the potential implications, you all piled into the car. The drive through the city of Zurich was breathtaking, with picturesque streets and stunning architecture passing by.

During the journey, Wonwoo couldn't help but ponder Victor's cryptic comment about Jeonghan. He turned to you with a playful glint in his eyes. "Jeonghan, huh? Is there something you're not telling me about this Godfather?"

You leaned back in your seat, a sly smile playing on his lips. "Oh, you know, just a bit of friendly rivalry. He's probably just upset that he didn't get an invite to our whirlwind wedding."

''JJ hates staying out of the loop'' Victor added from the front seat.

You chuckled, "Well, it's not like we had a choice with that one. But we'll have to make it up to him somehow, as i come bearing gifts."

As the car continued its journey through the streets of Zurich, you couldn't help but wonder if Jeonghan's reaction would be the only surprise waiting for you in Switzerland.

...

Victor's sleek BMW glided to a stop on the cobblestone driveway, nestled in one of the quieter, less touristy corners - Enge. You tumbled out of the car with Wonwoo and Victor following suit, suitcases in tow. You approached the front cerulean door and swung it open, entering Jeonghan's and Victor's home. The decor was a whimsical blend of colours and styles, with a baby blue Persian rug that flirted with salmon-white walls. A light grey couch adorned with metallic golden accents sat regally in the centre of the room.

Jeonghan, perched cross-legged with a magazine in his lap and a coffee mug in hand, sensed your approach. He abandoned his reading material and cup, rushing over to envelop you in a bear hug, which you reciprocated wholeheartedly.

"JJ!" you exclaimed, your voice muffled by his shoulder.

He drew back, holding your shoulders, to examine you. "Good Lord, girl, were you on a sleep strike for the last two weeks?"

"Something like that," you replied, undoing your scarf. "How's Noel?"

"Well, the fever's still hanging around, but he's asleep now after the doctor gave him an injection.''

"Any idea why Nikolai was there?"

He shrugged. "I didn't get a chance to ask. The teachers just told me..."

His eyes wandered past you and locked onto Wonwoo, who had just entered the house. Jeonghan's eyes widened, and he couldn't help but voice his curiosity.

"Who's that hunk?"

"Who?" you turned, and then back to Jeonghan. "Oh, that's... that's Wonwoo."

"Your new assistant?"

You chuckled, shaking your head. "No, he's my husband."

"YOUR WHAT?!" Jeonghan's exclamation could have shattered glass with its sheer volume. "YOU GOT MARRIED AND DIDN'T TELL ME? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS--''

"Jeonghan, calm down," you coaxed, leading him to the couch. "I know this may come as a shock to you."

"Ya bet," he huffed, settling onto the couch.

Wonwoo entered the house, his expression a mix of confusion and amusement. You signalled him to come closer.

"JJ, this is Jeon Wonwoo—my, my husband. And Wonwoo, this is Jeonghan, my best friend and Noel's godfather."

Wonwoo extended his hand for a handshake, which Jeonghan eyed sceptically before reluctantly accepting. "Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

Jeonghan just nodded in acknowledgment, folding his arms. “Nice to meet you too, and i heard nothing about you.’’He couldn't hold back his curiosity, though.

"How long have you two been together?"

"Oh, we met—"

"A year!" You cut Wonwoo off, your voice brimming with faux enthusiasm.

Jeonghan eyed you suspiciously before stating, "Why the sudden wedding? Are you pregnant?"

"Yes! And they're quadruplets," you replied sarcastically, a playful tone in your voice.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. "You think you funny, huh?''

"Ya, I'm the funniest."

"You didn't—wait, how can you date for a year when you were here all the time—" Before you could respond, Jeonghan connected the dots himself. "Ah, so this is the reason why you went back home every two weeks, every alternate month."

"Hmm," you and Wonwoo exchanged amused glances he's so far from the truth, exhaustion showing on both your faces.

"I have a few questions..."

"And we'll answer them later, Dad. But first, I want to see Noel. Can you show Wonwoo the guest room? We haven't had a chance to rest since the wedding yesterday."

"YOU GOT MARRIED YESTERDAY?" You hurried off to find Noel, leaving a flabbergasted Jeonghan in your wake.

You turned the doorknob, granting access to Noel's room. The iron-man-themed décor caught your eye, with figurines strewn about the floor and notebooks scattered on his study table. You made your way to his bedside and gently began caressing his forehead. His cheeks were still warm and flushed, and he took short, pouted breaths in his slumber. The effect of the injection appeared to be wearing off as he stirred from his sleep.

"Tante," he asked, as if you were a mere hallucination.

"Hi, baby boy."

"How are you here?"

"How can I not be? When my baby calls for me, I must show up. Is that even a question?"

You were about to hug him when you remembered you were still in your airport clothes. "It's alright, bud. You can go back to sleep."

He tightly grasped your hand, his voice tinged with worry. "What if I wake up and you're not here?"

"Then pinch yourself awake from that bad dream and find me. I'll always be there."

He brought your hand to his chest, finding solace in your presence as he dozed off again. You reached for the intercom near the side table, and after a few minutes, there was a polite knock at the door.

"Enter."

A woman in her mid-40s, her auburn hair neatly tucked into a low bun, entered the room. Her sturdy build and professional demeanour spoke of competence.

"Hello, Leila."

"Good afternoon, Ma'am."

"How have you been?"

"Good."

"That's nice. Get me some cold water and two towels. I'll wipe Noel's body and take out his fresh pajamas. Also, prepare some chicken soup with carrots and onions. Don't forget to toast the bread."

"Madam, leave it to me. I'll take care of Little Master. You must be tired after such a long flight."

"It's alright, Leila. Just do as you're told. And send someone to clean my house, will you?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

She paused for a moment and then added, "Madam..."

"Hmm?" You responded without taking your eyes off Noel.

"I'm glad you're back early. Little Master missed you a lot. And congratulations on your wedding."

You met her gaze briefly, your expression softening, before turning your attention back to Noel and nodding in acknowledgement of her words.

After feeding Noel, you made your way to the living room, where Leila informed you that Victor had returned to his office, and Jeonghan was engrossed in his study, presumably giving an online lecture. With Noel still recovering, it wouldn't be right to move him, so you and Wonwoo would be staying in the guestroom for the night.

In the guestroom, you sat down on a seater near the dresser, your feet perched on a small table, your fingers pinching your forehead in thought. You could hear the shower running nearby. Closing your eyes, you tried to relax.

The door opened, and a body emerged from it. Wonwoo stood before you, wrapped in nothing but a towel cinched around his waist and another draped over his shoulders. Little droplets cascaded down his hair and chest as he walked towards you.

"You're here," he remarked.

"Yeah," you replied without opening your eyes.

"I thought you'd sleep somewhere else."

"Can't do. Victor and Jeonghan have no idea about the real motive of this marriage."

"I figured as much.'' Wonwoo turned his back to you, preparing to change into fresh clothes. 

You opened your eyes, discreetly analysing the muscles of his back. "So, he works out, huh? Not bad."

"I can feel you ogling."

''Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"I didn't say I mind."

You responded with a nonchalant "hmm" and made your way to the bathroom.

"Do you not feel awkward after seeing my body?" Wonwoo called after you.

"Why should I feel awkward? You showed me your body."

"You have a response to everything, don't you?"

"Yes, that's how conversations usually go. If you want to eat something, there's an intercom near the side table on the right-hand side. Leila will bring it."

"Nah, I want to sleep. I haven't slept a wink since yesterday."

"Okay," you said and shut the bathroom door behind you. The bathroom still held the warmth from Wonwoo's shower. You quickly shed your clothes and stepped under the hot water, the sensation easing the knots and tensions in your body. In the midst of it, you couldn't help but wonder, "Why am I always so at ease in his presence?"

By the time you finished your shower, your body felt relaxed, but fatigue had finally caught up with you. You found Wonwoo sleeping curled up on the left corner of the spacious bed. Since it was a king-sized bed, you arranged the pillows in the middle and lay down on the right side without overthinking it. As you rested your head on the pillow, all conscious thought faded away, and sleep enveloped you.

....

The sudden slam of the door startled you, making you stir slightly. You felt a warm breath on your neck and a gentle weight on your waist. Just as you were falling back to sleep, someone hopped onto your bed, jolting you awake. Wonwoo's nose nuzzled into the back of your head, and his arms wrapped around your waist. Where did the pillow go? You didn't get a chance to wonder further when Noel sat on your stomach.

"Oomph, El," you grunted.

The sound of hurried steps echoed in the room, and Jeonghan's voice followed, "El, you shouldn't barge into a couple's room like that. You'll be traumatised for life."

He entered the doorway with his eyes tightly shut. "Aren't you an eloquent speaker, JJ?''you retorted.

"Are you both decent?" he asked cautiously.

Wonwoo groaned and moved his hand away from you, turning to his side and still sleeping. You were busy glaring at Jeonghan for the untimely intrusion when you noticed Noel staring down at the man's shirtless back. You patted Noel's thigh to get his attention, and he turned to you, asking in French

"Who is he?"

"He is my husband and your uncle."

"But I already have an uncle!"

"Who?" you asked, confused. A glance passed between you and Jeonghan, who stood by the door.

"He came to my school and said that he is my mama's brother, and he will take me to his house, where he lives with my grandpa."

"So what did you say?"

"I said I wanted to live with you."

A warmth spread in your heart as Noel laid down on your chest, hugging you. He continued, "But he said you won't want to live with me when you get married and have a family of your own."

Every ounce of drowsiness left your body, replaced by slow-building fury. "That would never happen," you assured him, rubbing his back as you gazed up at the ceiling.

"If you're awake, dinner's ready. Come and eat it, El. Let's go," Jeonghan said, his voice low and tinged with worry.

You looked at Jeonghan and nodded. Turning your face, you kissed Noel on the back of the head. As you did, you met Wonwoo's eyes, looking deeply at you with his tousled hair. He was still lying on his stomach, but his head was turned towards you, and your heartbeat quickened.

Before you could say anything, his phone blared, and he turned to pick it up. "Yes, Chan," he answered, his voice hoarse. You got up, carrying Noel in your arms, and left the room, the unresolved tension lingering in the air.

....

It had been a week since the two of you arrived in Zurich. After that eventful dinner, you, Wonwoo, and Noel went to your house across the street. Since Leila was your housekeeper, she took care of cleaning and occasionally cooked for Jeonghan, who preferred to cook for himself and Victor. That dinner had been quite a grilling session for Wonwoo. He found himself caught in the crossfire, with Noel and Jeonghan bombarding him with questions. The poor man had been munching on his lettuce like an innocent sheep, occasionally answering their inquiries. You and Victor exchanged empathetic glances at each other and at Wonwoo.

The next three days had been a blur, with both of you barely meeting each other. You were busy with work and meetings in your Switzerland office, while he worked from your home office. One evening, as you both sat down to eat together, he broached the topic.

"I know you said we'd deal with Oasis once all this wraps up, but I was thinking of holding an investors meeting on Saturday."

"I don't think so," you replied, leaning back and taking a sip of your drink.

"Why?" He asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"I think holding an investor meeting face-to-face would be better," you explained. "Rich people have no lack of money to burn, but they do give preference to sincerity. If we both host a dinner at our new home and show them our sincerity towards the project and somewhat toward each other, don't you think that would be more beneficial?"

You paused, waiting for his response, and then added, "Isn't that also the reason you got married? To improve your reputation and win more investors for your new project in Kyoto?"

He nodded thoughtfully and raised an eyebrow. "I guess there's nothing wrong with that. Well, then, I'll inform Chan to arrange a meeting with the architects."

"Hmm," you said, nodding in agreement, and went back to your food.

It was the night before the trial. You were reading Noel a bedtime story about a wise old owl, an owl who listened to individuals and their problems. By the time you reached the second chapter, Noel was already asleep. Kissing his forehead, you left the room and noticed the lights were still on in the study. You assumed Wonwoo was working late again. Your impromptu change of plans had put a strain on his work-life due to different time zones, making you feel a little guilty. But then again, it was his choice to come here.

Rema had arrived that morning and was now sleeping in the room that Wonwoo used to occupy. Tonight, he'd be sleeping in your room. You had offered to take the couch, but he insisted otherwise. 

You were done with your nighttime routine when you exited the ensuite bathroom and saw Wonwoo standing on the balcony, smoking a cigarette and talking on his phone.

He noticed your movement from the corner of his eye but continued speaking into the phone, "What's the point of living in one of the most secure and luxurious apartments in the country if you all can't even keep a woman from trespassing?"

He pressed his thumb against his forehead, the cigarette burning. "Well then, take care of it, Chan."

He ended the call and put the phone in the pocket of his relaxed trousers.

"Hello there, stranger," you greeted him.

"Hi," he replied, puffing out a plume of smoke.

You sat on the dresser to brush your hair, and he continued to gaze down at the park, visible from your balcony.

"Did work end early?" you asked.

He huffed a smile and said, "Does it ever end?"

You picked up your lotion and started applying it to your arms. You shook your head in denial and commented, "Tomorrow's going to be a long day. Since we've applied for the fast-track court, the hearing won't take long. I just hope—"

You took a breath and continued, "I just hope we get this over with and get Noel away from these people."

You felt a comforting hand on your shoulder, and when you looked up in the mirror, you met Wonwoo's eyes. His voice softened as he reassured you, "Don't worry. You've worked hard, and nobody can take Noel away from you."

You smiled back. "I hope so."

He nodded and made his way to the bathroom.

"Wonwoo," you called out, making him stop in his tracks. "What's wrong?"

He sighed, retracing his steps and sitting on the bed. Your eyes met in the mirror as he began, "Eleanor, Tresspassed, and trashed the apartment''

''And no one did anything?'' you asked, shock evident on your face.

''Well, she is the wife of politician Lee Joonsuk; only a man with a death wish would touch her''

''I didn't know you were suicidal, wonwoo''

''Look at you and your elite sense of humour. I meant in the legal sense.'' You nodded in understanding, but the curiosity got the better of you, and you asked, ''Whats her story?'' His head shot up, and he looked at you intently for a minute, then began to share his love story—how he had met Eleanor in college in London. She came from a poor family but aspired to have a career in politics. After working under Lee Joonsuk's party, she had drawn his keen interest, and before he knew it, he was returning from his grandmother's funeral to hear that his girlfriend was marrying into one of the most powerful conglomerate families.

For a few years, it seemed nice for her, but the spark eventually faded. Their marriage had turned into just another one in society. However, neither of them could leave—their marriage served her political career, and his wealth had no end.

"So, what does she want from you?" you asked.

He smiled ruefully. "Attention."

You had no words, but Wonwoo tilted his head and said, "Wow, I never talk about these things with Chan, and he's with me 22/7."

"22/7?" you inquired, confused.

"Yes, two hours for sleep," he explained, making both of you laugh.

"Well, I am the old, wise owl; people like talking to me."

He hummed and made his way to the bathroom.

....

The drive to the court was far from easy for you. Jeonghan, Victor, Rema, and you were all packed into one car, with Leila, Noel, and Wonwoo in another. Rema and Victor discussed and exchanged pointers, trying to keep the atmosphere as calm as possible. Jeonghan held your hand, providing a comforting presence as the tension mounted.

Finally, when your number was called, Leila and Noel were escorted to the witness room while the four of you entered the courtroom. Rema and Victor took their seats on the right, while the Bulavias occupied the left side. As the judge announced, "Case Number 432: Custody of Noel Hong, L/N vs. Bulavia," a wave of anticipation washed over the room.

Your eyes met Nikolai Bulavia's, a man with platinum blonde hair, a family crest ring, a sharp jawline, and a strong build. He looked at you with those same unsettling eyes that resembled Noella's. A sneer crept onto his face as he observed you, then he shifted his gaze to Wonwoo. You were determined not to give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd gotten under your skin, so you looked away.

Wonwoo, who had been busy typing on his phone, leaned in and whispered, "Don't worry, we've got this."

His warm hand rested above your knee, offering you the reassurance you needed in this nerve-wracking moment.

Judge Andrew's, a man in his 60s with a strenuous personality and gravel voice, commanded,  ''Order in the court!''

The room fell into silence as the judge called for order. You sat nervously, flanked by Rema and Victor on one side and the Bulavias on the other.

Bulavia's Attorney stood up and walked in the centre of the room and began addressing the judge, ''Your Honour, we'd like to begin by stating that the existence of the child in question was deliberately kept hidden from the Bulavia family. We were not informed about Noel's existence until recently.

Rema, following the suit, countered, ''Your Honour, if I may, the decision to keep Noel away from the Bulavias was based on the explicit wishes of his deceased parents. They wanted to ensure that Noel was never exposed to the Bulavia family.''

Judge Andrews nodded and said, ''Let's proceed, please.''

Bulavia Attorney added, ''Furthermore, Your Honour, we'd like to argue that Ms. [Your Last Name] has an unstable lifestyle. She's constantly on the move between her home country and here, neglecting to be a constant figure in Noel's life and leaving him at the care of her friends and house help, and it appears that she only wants Noel because of the substantial property and shares left in his name by his deceased mother.

Rema, walking closer to the judge's stand, said, '' Your honour, that's simply not true. My client has always had Noel's best interests at heart. She is a renown businesswoman who travels due to work. The properties and shares were entrusted to him, and she's been managing them responsibly.''

Bulavia Attorney countered, ''Your Honour, we have reason to believe that Ms. [Your Last Name]'s intentions are not as noble as she claims. We request that these financial assets be temporarily placed under the Bulavia family's supervision until this matter is settled.''

'' Your honour, we vehemently oppose this request. It is clear that Noel's life was under threat from the Bulavia family. We have evidence to support this claim.''

Bulavia Attorney, who was quiet confident, is now left perplexed at this new revelation: ''Evidence? What evidence?''

Rema is standing, holding a folder. ''Your Honour, we have obtained CCTV footage from 2016 showing Mr. Nikolai Bulavia getting out of his car with a baseball bat. We also have medical records and photographs that depict the violence Mr. Nikolai Bulavia inflicted upon Noel's late parents. He even attacked Joshua, Noel's father, upon learning of his sister's pregnancy.''

The Bulavia attorney was now taken aback. ''Your honour, those incidents were isolated, and Mr. Bulavia deeply regrets his actions. But that doesn't justify Ms. [Your Last Name]'s decision to keep the child hidden from us.''

When Rema further added, "Your Honour, it's clear that the Bulavia family's violent history posed a threat to Noel's safety. We argue that his parents' decision to keep him away from this environment was justified.''

The courtroom buzzed with tension as both sides presented their arguments. The judge listened carefully, fully aware that this was a critical decision that would shape young Noel's future.

After a thoughtful pause, Judge Andrews began his verdict: ''I've reviewed the presented evidence and heard both sides of the argument. It is clear that there was a history of violence and danger to the child's life from the Bulavia family. While these incidents may have been isolated, Noel Hong's safety and well-being are paramount in this case.''

''Your honour, we assure you that we can provide a safe and nurturing environment for the child.''

Judge Andrews firmly cut Bulavia's attorney off. ''Nevertheless, the evidence presented suggests that the child's life was at risk in your presence. Therefore, the court rules in favour of Ms. [Your Last Name] retaining custody of Noel Hong. Furthermore, the financial assets will remain under her supervision.''

The Bulavias appeared crestfallen, while you and your legal team shared a collective sigh of relief.

The judge continues, ''I will also issue a restraining order against Mr. Nikolai Bulavia, ensuring he maintains a safe distance from the child and Ms. [Your Last Name].''

Rema, who was now standing next to you, whispered, ''We did it, Y/N.''

You nodded, tears of relief brimming in your eyes. Wonwoo, who had been a pillar of support throughout the trial, gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

Wonwoo leaned to whisper, ''I told you we'd get through this.''

''The court finds in Favour of the petitioner, Y/N L/N, for the adoption of Noel Hong''

A wave of relief washed over you as you heard the judge's words. It was official. Noel was yours, and he was safe from the Bulavia family's influence.

Judge Andrew looks at you and Wonwoo and says, ''It is the court's hope that Noel Hong will now be provided with a loving and stable environment where he can thrive and grow.''

You nodded, tears of joy and gratitude filling your eyes. Wonwoo squeezed your hand, sharing in your overwhelming emotions.

And concluded, ''Congratulations, Mrs. L/N and Mr. Jeon. The court approves the adoption of Noel Hong by Y/N L/N, and we wish your family all the best for the future''

As you rushed into the witness room after the court's decision, your heart swelled with an overwhelming mix of emotions. There, sitting in the midst of this legal battle, was the small figure of Noel, your precious little boy. You spread your arms wide, your eyes welling up with tears of joy, and Noel immediately sensed the invitation. With a wide smile on his face, he practically leaped into your arms.

You held him close, feeling the warmth of his little body against yours, his heartbeat in sync with your own. In that moment, as you held Noel, you realized something profound. It wasn't just the fact that he was Joshua's son or Noella's child that made you love him so deeply. It was simply Noel, a bright and beautiful soul who had come into your life and filled it with an extraordinary kind of love.

As you hugged him tightly, you whispered softly into his ear, "I told you, Noel, no one can ever take you away from Tante." Your voice carried all the love and reassurance that a child could ever need, and Noel, with his small arms wrapped around you, knew that he was home, safe and cherished in your embrace.

As Wonwoo watched you holding Noel, something profound and deeply touching happened within him. He felt a crack forming in the walls he had built around his heart, a wall that had been constructed over years of self-preservation and ambition. In that moment, as he witnessed the pure and selfless love you had for Noel, he realized the depth of your character.

Beneath the surface of the successful and driven persona he had seen before, there was a person who was genuinely selfless. It wasn't just about protecting Noel for the sake of his inheritance or securing a business deal; it was about providing love, care, and a safe haven for a child who needed it.

This realization shook him to his core. It was as if he had stumbled upon a hidden treasure, a quality in you that he had never fully appreciated before. In that moment, Wonwoo couldn't help but admire and respect you even more. He knew he had witnessed something extraordinary and rare – an act of pure, selfless love that had the power to touch and transform the hearts of those who were lucky enough to witness it.

.....

The night was slowly settling in as Victor drove Rema to the airport. It left just you, Noel, and a dimly lit street outside the restaurant where you had dinner. As Wonwoo and Jeonghan settled the bill inside you stood there, a familiar figure started approaching, and your heart sank.

"Which part of the restraining order did you not understand, Nikolia?" you spat out, your voice laced with irritation.

A devilish smirk played on Nikolia's lips as he responded, "Unclench your claws, kitten. I'm just here to talk."

You crossed your arms defensively. "I never cared for the child, but to think that this little kimchi pest will be sitting on 3 billion worth of property is not sitting right with me."

"Then sleep on it; you'll get used to it," you retorted, trying to mask your unease.

Nikolia laughed and raised his finger as if to push your hair away from your face, but before he could, Noel clung to your leg, visibly frightened. You warned, "Don't you dare touch me, Nikolia."

His eyes flared with anger, and he hissed, "That's not what you were saying that night 8 years ago."

You smirked, your words dripping with contempt, "Hmm, I wish I did. Then again, how would I know what faking an orgasm felt like?"

A fire blazed in Nikolia's eyes, but he didn't respond immediately. Instead, he mumbled, "Ah, Y/N, if only you'd given us a chance. You would've been his real aunt and the queen of my empire, not some little hotel man's wife."

You looked him up and down and said, "I'd rather eat glass than marry you. And don't even compare yourself to my husband, Nikolia. He has more spine than you can imagine. A person who kills his own sister, leaving his nephew an orphan, all for the sake of his fragile ego. So, get away and get lost, Nikolia. I don't want Noel anywhere near your shadow, let alone you."

Before Nikolia could respond, an arm wrapped around your waist, and Noel left your side, running to Jeonghan for safety. It was Wonwoo, exuding an aura of intimidation.

"I think my wife asked you to leave, Mr. Bulavia," he said calmly but firmly.

Nikolia glanced down at you, then up at Wonwoo, and then winked at Noel. "Don't get so worked up, Mr. Jeon. I was just having a conversation with an old friend."

You huffed, retorting, "We were never friends."

Nikolia backed away, smirking. "Whatever you say, princess. Whatever you say," he replied before finally turning and walking away into the night, 'This isn't over Y/N'' leaving you, Wonwoo, and Noel in a state of tense relief.

.....

As the time for your departure from Switzerland approached, the atmosphere was heavy with a mix of excitement and sadness. Jeonghan and Victor had come to drop you off at the airport, and there was something they wanted to share.

Once you had all settled in a quieter corner of the airport lounge, Jeonghan cleared his throat, exchanging a glance with Victor. It was clear they had something important to say.

"We have some news," Jeonghan began, his expression a mixture of excitement and nervousness. "Victor and I are getting married soon."

You blinked in surprise, and then your shock transformed into a grin. "That's wonderful news! Congratulations!"

But then a thought crossed your mind, and you narrowed your eyes playfully at Jeonghan. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

He chuckled, his smile wide. "Well, you didn't tell us you were dating someone for a whole year!"

You rolled your eyes, but it was all in good humor. "Fair enough. Well, I'm genuinely happy for both of you."

Jeonghan turned his attention to Wonwoo, who was standing beside you. "Take good care of her and my godson, alright?"

Wonwoo nodded, extending his hand to Jeonghan. "I will, don't you worry."

Jeonghan gave Wonwoo a firm handshake before turning to you. He pulled you into a warm hug and whispered, "He's a good guy, but if he acts up, you know who to call."

You nodded, feeling a lump in your throat, and then picked up Noel. Tears welled up in his eyes as he hugged Jeonghan tightly, realising that this might be the last time he saw his beloved uncle for a while.

There was a farewell filled with smiles and promises to visit each other soon. Finally, the three of you walked to Wonwoo's private jet, ready to fly back home, where new adventures await. Unbeknownst to you, the new revelation you're about to face.

....

Extra:

Wonwoo descended the stairs, feeling the pangs of thirst that late-night work often brought on. He noticed the refrigerator light flickering and remembered he had a late meeting to attend due to the troublesome time zone differences. As he made his way to the kitchen, he noticed Noel struggling to open a bottle.

Deciding to offer some assistance, Wonwoo approached the young boy. "Why are you up so late?" he inquired, causing Noel to jump slightly.

"I could ask you the same," Noel retorted.

Wonwoo chuckled softly. "Touché. Well, I was working. But wait, I don't need to explain myself to you."

Noel, still wrestling with the stubborn bottle cap, retorted, "Neither do I."

Seeing Noel's struggle, Wonwoo carefully lifted him onto a stool and took the bottle. After successfully opening it, he decided to pour himself a cup of coffee and sat down beside the young boy.

Noel looked at him and curiously asked, "Why are you sleeping in the guest bedroom? Don't married people sleep together?"

A sly grin tugged at Wonwoo's lips. "Aren't you seven?" he retorted, and he couldn't help but chuckle at the clever preception.

Noel added with a hint of playfulness, "I may be seven, but I'm not an idiot. I know things because Mama and Appa used to sleep in the same room."

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow, intrigued by Noel's insight. "Well, I work late at night, and your Tante is an early bird."

Noel nodded knowingly. "Yeah, she does like to sleep a lot."

Curiosity getting the better of him, Wonwoo pressed further. "What else does your Tante like?"

Noel hopped down from the stool, discarded the plastic into the blue recycling bin, and started to amble away. He turned back briefly and quipped, "Again, I may be a kid, but I'm not an idiot to let you sweet-talk me into an investigation."

Wonwoo watched the boy walk away with a smile, finding Noel's wit and independence rather endearing. He sipped his coffee and mumbled to himself, "Like aunt, like kid."

-------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Thank you again for reading see you all again with a new chapter in October.

xx

msh

[naranjapetrificada]

This is going to be long so the short version is this:

I convinced my therapist to watch the 🌟Gay Pirate Show🌟 and now I have to confront a previously unidentified and terrifyingly deep emotional wound that could be as transformative to heal as it is terrifying to approach.

My therapist and I have a lot of let's say...demographic things in common that have made this the most successful therapeutic relationship I've ever had, but also that just made me think he might like the show. It's no secret that ofmd has been a deeply moving experience for its viewers, and queer, neurodivergent, and/or people of color have written at length about the special ways it touches us (or doesn't). Those are three categories both he and I fit into and it feels relevant to say that for context.

So yes I thought he might like it, but I also wanted to pick his brain about Big Feelings it was giving me that I hadn't experienced with the same intensity with other media/fandoms. Y'all, he gave me a completely unexpected reading on the show (and its story and its fan works) and why it makes us feel So Much that I haven't seen anywhere before.

When I say Big Feelings, I mean like I've literally had to swear off a couple of pretty innocuous categories on AO3 ("Growing Old Together" and "Domestic Fluff") because they would devastate me in ways that I couldn't attribute to anything specific. Growing Old Together comes with the possibility of death separating them, which is heartbreaking, but that didn't feel like it was the thing that was gutting me. Domestic Fluff could probably be called the most innocuous tag ever, but anything that saw our blorbos settling down and watching the Revenge sail off into the distance was fucking me up as well.

There are plenty of reasons why OFMD makes queer people feel so much, but when I say this was fucking me up I mean like, well, remember when people outside of classical music started learning about appoggiatura? Like intellectually knowing why I was crying but at a loss how intense everything felt. And my therapist (who is as good at analyzing a text as he is at being a therapist) was like "oh, it could be all the grief."

The grief.

The audacity of this motherfucker (affectionate).

It's a romcom! It's a romcom that we were explicitly told would have a happy ending! It's a romcom where the characters will get to sail off into the sunset together like they want and like we want for them! Stede and Ed, after four decades of self-hatred and trauma and fear and isolation, somehow find each other. And one of the sweetest things about their story is that it's a late in life love story, because it's incredibly inspiring for someone to get to experience a part of life they thought wasn't for them. The inescapable fact that their time together will be shorter than any of us would like is sad but not unaccountably sad to me, because of how much joy they'll be able to cram into the time they have left. I could be wrong but I don't think that alone is the source of what's been overwhelming me.

Grief is a constant presence in the world-building and the storytelling because grief is a natural response to well, so many things about being alive. Grieving is some of the hardest shit any of us ever have to do, but it's also so universal and so many of the things that make us uniquely human also make grieving well, maybe not easier, but something we can endure and process through ritual, community, and the example of those we've witnessed grieving their own losses. Many kinds of grief come with narratives that you can accept or reject all or parts of, but the narrative exists.

But have you ever heard of disenfranchised loss? Loss that's not easily labeled or classified or given the time or space or understanding it deserves? Have you experienced a loss like that? Can you imagine how much more difficult it makes the grieving process?

Well what my therapist suggested, the thing that knocked me on my ass hard enough that I had to come have Online Feelings about it, is that eventually, we all have to mourn ourselves. Not necessarily in a "mortality is inevitable" way (that happens to everyone) but in ways that are often unique to people like him and me (black, ND, queer). Even if we work on ourselves, if we grow and heal our trauma and feel at home in our identities and our bodies and build beautiful lives, eventually we will be forced to mourn the selves that we never got to be in the societies in which we live and the selves we once had to become to survive this long.

And that mourning is a kind of disenfranchised loss, with no clear path forward. Obviously this conversation happened within the context of everything my therapist knows about me as an individual, but I thought certain things might resonate with other fans as well so I wanted to talk about it. The story of this bizarre little man and his remarkable second act and his lovely little found family and his incredibly beautiful love story (that we've been guaranteed will end happily) is still haunted by the specific kind of grief that comes from learning what's possible, and regretting that you didn't know it was possible sooner.

And does anybody have more delayed milestones, later-in-life discoveries, and/or need to invent places for themselves than those of us on the social fringes? Than those of us in societies unequipped for (or actively hostile to) the ways we exist and the things we need to survive and thrive? Than those of us who have to create our own narratives or be saddled with inaccurate or harmful narratives created by others, or even no narrative at all?

And narrative is so much. Narrative is everything. Narrative is the story we tell ourselves and each other and that literally shapes our reality. So those story beats where we discover something better than what came before are inherently stories with loss and will require mourning, because we mourn loss.

Even when the story has a happy ending. Especially when the story has a happy ending for someone who never thought they would be allowed to have one.

I mean just like, FUCKING HELL. I can't blame anyone for this but myself. I know my therapist. I know how insightful he can be. I did this to myself and now I have to live with it. But my god is it a massive mountain I'm about to have to climb now. My therapist and I have always found it helpful to discuss media that makes me Feel Things (see all the trauma work that came from Life is Strange) but if you had told me that I'd be looking into this new dark cave of unprocessed shit thanks to what I thought was just gonna be a harmless little gay pirate show starring fucking Murray from Flight of the Concords I would probably just have assumed you were in the middle of having a stroke and taken off to get you the medical attention you desperately needed.

[ginsengkitten]

Nightfall: Chapter 9

⛧☾༺♰༻☽⛧

"Jesus Christ Y/N what the fuck happened to your neck? " Izzy remarks as you sleepily waltzed into the kitchen. He brings you close and cradles your neck so he can look closer. Deep teeth marks indent the backside of your neck and shoulder. They're red and scabbed already but hard to miss. "This? Oh-" as you begin to bullshit him, slash lazily walks into the kitchen shortly after you. Izzy darts his eyes from you to slash and back to you, putting two and two together. "Slash- did you fucking imprint on her?!" Izzy barks.

"Huh-wha-?" Slash sleepily grunts, confused. Duff walks into the kitchen with Axl. "Good Evening-"

"Slash fucking imprinted on Y/N." Izzy blurts out. Duff and Axl exchange a look and then to your neck and slash. "Christ slash... you can't fucking imprint on her! Do you understand the danger you just put her in?! The whole fucking northern clan is going to be tracking her down now!" Axl yells. Slash becomes alert and angry. "They were already tracking her, what changes?" He snapped. You touch the bite mark. "Imprinting?" You question. "It's something only morphs and werewolves do. But it sends some sort of telepathic signal or some shit to any other morph or werewolf that you were claimed. They claim you as theirs. It's like marking territory without the piss." Duff explains.

The arrangement was permanent now? It wasn't that you planned anywhere to go really, but the fact that you weren't given a real choice. This frustrated you. Very much. Owned? Territory?

Everyone got ready for a show tonight. The lair hid directly below the sunset strip, with easy access to many of the venues above. You had luckily packed a dress in your rushed escape but you pull it out only to realize how gaudy and exposed it is. You bought this dress when you first moved to the city, with some silly dreams of being some sort of club bombshell. You shook your head annoyed with yourself. This would have to do. You did what you could with what you had. Applying leftover red lipstick from your bag. The black silk mini dress hugged your curves graciously. You didn't pack heels however, and threw on your black doc martens, and draped your hair over your bite mark. What a look. What a mess.

You stepped out into the living space as the band turned to greet you. All of their eyebrows raised in shock at your outfit. All the men practically salivating at the sight of you. You blush slightly. "Is this alright?" You ask. Duff grins his devious grin and steps towards you, as does Axl and Steven. "Look at you, pretty little thing you got your claws on huh slash?" Axl says. Slash blushes but tries to hide his gaze on you. The remark the reminded you that you had been unwillingly imprinted and it makes you angry. You shoot daggers at slash. "Sure fucking seems like it." You snark. You grab your things and rush out the door with a slam. The guys all scratch their heads. Steven whistles "Whew...forgot how complicated women were...good luck with that pal." Steven jokes at slash.

-

The Roxy was bustling with the usual oddball crowd. The club was packed tight. The band rumbles out through the crowd, the pure power of rock sends shockwaves through the venue. You weren't in the proper mood to enjoy the show. Instead, you sat at an enclosed sitting corner next to the bar, watching slash play from afar. You can't help but watch the way he moves on stage, mesmerizingly. You were frustrated with him and frustrated with yourself for being so attracted to him. What he was. The audacity he had to claim you permanently like that. Would you have said yes if he asked-I mean- yes. But that's besides the point.

You watch his hips gyrate with his guitar as he belts out impressive tunes. The crowd is wild for him. You soften as you watch him lose himself in the music. Music was how he survived all this time. All the pain could be fueled into guitar. It was wonderful. He seemed so happy.

You walk up to the bar to grab a drink when a random man sits next to you." One for the lady!" He buys you a drink. Free drinks, you don't decline. "Haven't seen you here before! New in town?" He asks over the loud music. "Uh- yeah just here visiting family." You lie. You feel him checking you out and it discomforts you. You enclose on yourself slightly. "You're so hot, I had to stop myself from sweeping you off your feet right then and there, been watching you all night!" He remarks boldly. Clearly drunk. "Ah..right. Well. This has been nice-" you get up and prepare to turn away, when he grabs your upper arm. "Hey baby, don't be so shy, y-" as he jolts you your hair flows off your should, revealing your large bite mark. His eyes widen and he pauses. "Shit...you like it rough don't you?" He sneers. Suddenly slash snakes an arm around you from behind. "There you are honey! Thought I lost you!" He says loudly. He towers over the man. "Thanks for the drink." He takes shot of your free drink. Wipes his mouth and flashes a grin with his fangs purposefully at the man.

The man shocks in surprise and fear at this. "Have a nice night." He utters quickly and scurries off. You shrug slashes arm off you annoyed and walk towards the hallway to the back door. "Gee thanks a bunch." You snarl. "What's your deal?" He gripes as he follows after you. "Nothing, thanks for protecting your merchandise back there." You bite. "What-is this about the bite?" He questions cluelessly. "Of course it's about the bite slash! Sorry if I'm a little upset about being eternally claimed against my will." You bark. "Against your will? " he grabs your arm forcefully. "What the fuck was all that "have me" talk then?" He throws out.

"Yes, HAVE ME, FUCK ME, NOT IMPRINT ON ME AND RENDERING ME PRISONER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!" You growl but calm as soon as it's out. "Listen...I didn't intend to imprint on you. It just..happened. I told you, I warned you about my lack of control with the morph. I wasn't thinking. I'm not myself fully when I'm morphed. The beast..it just takes over me and takes whatever the fuck it wants." He says shamefully. "What it wants..so it was the beast that wanted to imprint..not you." You reply disappointed. "Hey- No that's not it. I wanted to. The beast just removed my restraint to do it. I truly didn't mean to do this...Y/N I'm sorry. If you want to leave. You can. I won't stop you if that's what you want.." he says quietly.

While you wished you had a choice, time to ponder it at least, you know you would have still agreed. "I don't want to leave. I want to stay. I'm just lost is all. All of this is so..." you lean your head into his chest, defeated. Slash holds your head on him. " I know..."

[kirishwima]

Bet on me, baby - Part 3 (written portions below!)

****

He's late.

Not one to waste time, you stood outside the shop at 4pm sharp, arms folded across your torso for warmth, glaring at the sun as if it'd personally offended you by hiding beneath opalescent clouds despite the summer month.

You were fine to wait for five or ten minutes, keeping yourself busy listening to music through your overhead headphones and scrolling through your phone, but as the minutes trickled past and your foot tapped nervously against concrete, you frowned, sent another text-it's not rude to wait indoors, not when the guy you're waiting for is a whooping 15 minutes late, now is it?

You make your order and find a cozy corner to sit at, already bringing out your notes and laptop-the sooner you get this done, the better after all, and you suppose there's no harm in getting a headstart until your project partner arrives.

Yet time flows onwards, with no sight of Mammon to behold.

The ice in your drink has already melted by the time you decide to send him another message, now truly furious as you glanced to the clock on the wall across of you.

You look over your final messages with a sigh as you pack up your belongings, standing up from your seat to head out of the shop.

You're all but ready to storm out when the sound of hurried steps marching your way distracts you, a flurry of white all you see as the chair across you gets dragged back on the wooden floors.

Mammon stumbles into the seat, tilting his head back.

"Ha. Made it" he sighs, turns towards you and has the audacity to smirk, a lazy toothy grin as he slumps further into the seat.

He nods towards you in greeting, blinks owlishly behind his sunglasses. An angry red mark covers his left cheek, one he seems more than oblivious to.

You raise an eyebrow at that, momentarily ignoring the fact that he didn't even apologize for being an hour late as he leans back on his seat, balancing the chair on its back two legs.

You stare at him.

You blink.

And scream.

"What the FUCK Mammon?!" you ask.

He flinches, straightens back his chair as it momentarily threatens to fall.

"Huh? What?!"

"What? What do you mean what?! Where were you?"

He rolls his eyes, shrugs his shoulders with a shake of his head.

"I overslept! Some of us have actual social lives y'know-I was out all night and honestly jus' wanted to sleep all day today" he fumes. "Like, who the hell would wanna spend their saturday doing homework with a nerd?"

Your fingers are about to wrap around your plastic coffee cup and fling it to his head, before Mammon carries on with a sigh.

"At least I was going to, but Satan slapped me and threatened to cut all my credit cards in half if i didnt show up and hes a crazy bastard yknow, if he says it then he fucking means it-" he stifles a yawn, "and im hungover as shit. Why does no one care for me in this family?! I need sleep!"

You clench your teeth.

At least he's here you try to rationalize, at least Satan is a decent person that slapped some sense into him because you'd have no qualms to doing so yourself, peace and love be damned, but instead you sigh, turn to him and say;

"Be late again and I'll let your brothers, Lucifer included, know you were an ass to me."

He dared to laugh at that, shakes his hand as if to dismiss you, "And why would they care what the class nerd says?"

Enough is enough.

You slam your hands on the table, commanding the gaze of everyone in the shop to your form, Mammon flinching back, eyes wide and staring towards you.

"Y/N"

"Huh?"

"My name is Y/N. Not nerd. If you had paid even the slightest attention when I was talking to you, maybe you'd get it through that thick skull of yours. My name is Y/N L/N, im a human fucking person who was stood up for AN HOUR on their single day off, because guess what asshole-I have plans too! My day does not revolve around you and your fucking schedule. You have wasted an hour of my precious time, with not so much as an apology for being late, and you come in here and talk to me like I'm an inconvenience to you?!"

You get up, sling your backpack over your shoulder as Mammon sits frozen in place, eyes never leaving your fuming face.

"Well guess FUCKING what. I don't like you either! I could be hanging out with my friends too, or taking up another shift at my part time work and earning actual money, instead of wasting my time and effort here, waiting for you to get your shit together enough to actually get here and start working on this project so we can pass this class!"

You slung your bag over your shoulder, giving Mammon one final cold look.

"Thanks for wasting my time. Go find another project partner, and maybe you two can fail together" is all you say before turning around, walking out the coffee shop without looking back.

Your steps are brisk, pace fast as you make haste, your sole goal to get as far away from this shitty day and back to the comfort of your apartment.

You're about to send a text to Satan, to apologize for going off in his brother after he had the decency to send him to you, when you hear Mammon shuffling behind you, yelling our a 'wait, hold on you ner-uh. Y/N!!'

You do stop at that, turning around with a frown at the sound of your name, arms crossed over your chest.

"What?" you ask.

He's panting, his face washed red, back hunched and hands on his thighs as he looks back up at you-

"I. Uh. Ugh, don't make me say it!"

You sigh.

"Say what, Mammon?"

He grumbles, fidgets with a hand to his hair.

"I'm sorry! Okay!"

'Sorry for what?' you ask, not willing to let this slide. A half hearted apology isn't gonna cut it.

"For...wasting your time. And coming here hungover. And insulting you."

You look him up and down. He's not so bad like this; with this sheepish look on his face, a hand thrown awkwardly to the back of his neck, looking anywere else but your face-even through his yellow tinted sunglasses you can see the deeper shade across his cheeks, a bead of sweat trickling down his right temple, presumably from the effort he made trying to catch up to you.

'Fine' is all you say.

He looks back at you, a small grin of his lips that seems to taste like victory.

"So can we go finish this work now or?"

"No. Not today"

His crestfallen look is almost cute, you muse, but shake your head free of the thought before it takes root in your mind.

"Believe it or not Mammon, I wasn't lying when I said I was a busy person. I don't have anymore time for today, since you so politely wasted it."

"Hey!" he groans, straightening back up, "I said I was sorry!"

"I know. Which is why I'm willing to plan another meetup like this with you. You can come by my workplace tomorrow at the end of my shift and we can plan a rough outline of our topic, or you can text me where you'll be and I can come meet you."

"Where do you work?"

"The local bookstore, down the street from the main campus. You know the one, big but raggedy looking? Has a wooden sign outside called Brimstone?"

He nods, looks to his phone as he replies.

"Yeah I know the one. Satan won't shut up about it."

You exchange further details for a moment, eventually deciding on him coming to pick you up from your work in the afternoon when your shift ends; you guys can go grab a coffee and something to eat at the adjacent coffee shop, and finally get some work done there.

Mammon nods along as you recount tomorrow's plan, his previous attitude watered down and like this-leaning close to you in the busy street, huddled together as you show him the location of your workplace on google maps, his focused little pout, his blue eyes big and juxtaposing thick white lashes-hell, he's almost attractive like this.

Almost.

You bite back the intrusive thought and bid him goodbye, heading straight back to your shitty apartment-you're supposed to finish up your essay today and start on yet another pending report.

Instead you can't get these flashes of white and gold out of your head all day.

*****

-Masterlist-