#the fact that everyone is so shitty is also what makes ed seem like such a sweetheart in comparison

[doubledyke]

Regarding the My Fair Ed analysis below, I still think Ed and Eddy are assholes in that episode. Because they started just being kids, but then they were dismissive and uncaring of Double D's issue. In the start of the episode Double d tried explain the situation and eddy just answers: ''tell'em to stick it in hat''- he don't care about his friend being punished for his own mistakes. Soon, to get back at edd, they start deliberately hurting the kids so they can transfer the blame on edd. They were oblivious on the benniging, but so then start porpusely harming innocent people when they were supposed to just be aiming at edd.

Not to mention both Ed and Eddy consciously enjoying pain in eahc other through the pavlovian training (Ed saying ''naughty naughty, you watch yourself mister. Eddy ripping off one Ed's band-aid).

i guess my point is that eddy is always like that; he's always defiant and aggressive. eddy does what he wants and ed typically goes along with whatever eddy does. and in this case, they were just being silly and chasing each other. yes, at the end they're being needlessly destructive while trying to get back at double dee. but when was the last time those two stopped to take anyone's feelings into account before doing something? plus, what they did was pretty mild in comparison. with the exception of nazz, idk what they did to her 👀 i did say they're just barely below edd if i was gonna rank them.

the kids really are the worst here. they're all super annoying in this ep. they caught edd alone and went after him because he's an easy target that can't run very fast.

and then it's just interesting to me that double dee only wanted to modify their behavior when he got in trouble for it. he shouldn't have been blamed for what the other two do, but he does like to act like he's the moral compass of peach creek.

and again, he might've just reached a breaking point after two seasons of nonstop melee and mischief. BUT he admitted he was wrong for the way he went about trying to teach them manners. or as he put it, trying to change who they are.

what it boils down to in my mind is that edd doesn't really care what ed and eddy do until it affects him somehow. he'll often passively apologize for their actions or chide them, but never abandons them. i think he's more afraid of consequences for himself than worried that they might actually hurt someone or damage something. and i'm not saying edd is "bad", he's just edd.

ultimately i love eene because literally everyone is an asshole in one way or another. people often say the show is very "mean-spirited" and i agree, and love it.

most importantly, all this is just my dumb opinion. it's okay to disagree with me! i'm probably wrong anyway 🤡

[portraitofadyke]

Ed's 'inevitably violent streak'

I would also like to point out that despite the show skipping most of Ed's spiraling era and only showing us a very quick montage and his list of crimes, we never actually see him physically hurt any crew member but Izzy.

In s1, Ed never explicitly harms anyone. Maiming during the educational raids is mentioned by Stede, but Ed never lashes out on anyone but the 'other guys'. He threatens some guy to show Stede how it's done, he tells Fang to skin a guy. What is his reaction when the first person he lays himself bare for abandons him?

Yeah, he curls up into a ball, cries, eats shitload of marmalade in a pillowfort and writes shitty breakup songs. But wait, there is a guy in s1 who repeatedly slaps and threatens the crew! Someone who, coincidentally, also attempts to kill Stede after Ed tells him not to!

Oh, wait, it's Izzy. It's Izzy bc he cannot stand Ed going 'soft' around this crew. So he comes up with a plan to sell the crew and Stede out to the English and get them killed, despite knowing about Ed's feelings.

Of course, Ed throws Lucius overboard. Notably, right after Izzy threatens his life unless he becomes Blackbeard again. It's a breaking point for him, because he laid himself bare for Lucius the most, and in killing Lucius, he might kill that side of him. But, as we know, Lucius survives. We never really doubted it, to be fair, because Lucius is still A Good Guy.

In s2, we get the montage. It's said that Blackbeard has gone mad and is probably working the crew relentlessly, always raiding and looting and chasing after the next thing. I do believe the saw him do some pretty fucked up shit, and he's probably driving them crazy by making them do more fucked up shit on each raid. In fact, the crew knows he's fucked up, and Izzy even says they're all 'worried about him'. Izzy makes the mistake by not only quoting Stede and mentioning his name, but suggesting they talk about it, after years and years of prohibiting Ed from expressing his feelings and threatening him whenever he becomes 'soft'. Good thinking, just hypocritical and way too fucking late. In fact, when he comes on board after Izzy suggests talking, nobody seems all that alarmed until he pulls out the gun, which he never fires at anyone but Izzy, after he mentions Stede, the man Izzy almost killed multiple times. The crew is uncomfortable, they think he's crazy. It's never said that he hurt any of them. In fact, they all just kinda sit around until he shoots Izzy. After Izzy dares to talk about his 'feelings for Stede', something Izzy threatened to kill him over before. They actually seem pretty fucking shocked Ed did that. Would they react that way if he repeatedly hurt the crew?

After that, Ed just goes back to being depressed. In fact, I rewatched the first two episodes AGAIN, and Ed just goes to play with his dolls, cries like crazy, and presumably starts coming up with more passive ways to kill himself. In his interactions with Frenchie, he even holds Frenchie, and he never flinches, doesn't seem to be afraid to be in his proximity. Even when Ed knows Frenchie is lying about killing Izzy, he never lays a hand on him.

Even when he's sailing them into a storm, the crew is hesitant to take him down. They know he's fucked up, they wanna know if he's better. Sure, they are probably also afraid of him, but Ed once again never hurts them. He's at his lowest, ready to die, and yes, he makes Jim and Archie fight (bc he saw them kiss lovingly and that's... touchy). Even as he's ready to die, he doesn't go out to hurt any of them. When they finally take him down, he's just ready to go. At that point, he's just completely out of it.

My point is, certain people like to paint Ed as this inevitably violent person. And sure, everyone knows Blackbeard is insane. A maniac. He tortures both mentally and physically. But Ed, even as Blackbeard, goes after other people, not his crew. He hurts people in raids and soldiers and shit. Of course, he did send the crew through Hell, but for someone who is 'abuser' and 'gonna domestically abuse Stede', he doesn't hurt his crew other than Izzy, who fucking gets it after repeatedly trying to kill Stede and abusing Ed for years. They explicitly TELL US Ed's go-to answer isn't violence unless the other person threatens him. Maybe, just maybe, all of you are a bit racist?

[steddieas-shegoes]

OOH i have another but you can definitely ignore this one or save it for later or something.

“Wait! It’s just me!”

Steve wasn’t hiding.

He was just…staying in his bedroom while everyone else was downstairs.

Hellfire was meeting at his house for the first time. The kids had been here plenty, that wasn’t the problem.

Eddie’s other friends, the guys from his band, they were here.

And they made it pretty obvious they didn’t care much for Steve.

Steve still made sure they felt welcomed, made sure they had food and drinks, that the temperature was fine.

He’d even got them all new dice as a welcome to his home gift.

They weren’t rude, but he could tell their quiet thank yous were only out of obligation.

He’d been up here ever since.

Every once in a while he heard them all talking or heard Eddie getting louder.

He just stayed in his bed.

He finally gained some courage to go down and make sure everyone was okay on drinks and snacks, but apparently, that was a bad idea.

“We never pause the game. Why are you here?” Gareth asked.

“Dude, you said this place would be perfect,” Jeff added.

“Guys, Steve is just a caregiver, ya know? Likes being able to do this stuff. He’s good at it,” Dustin said.

Steve knew he meant well, even preened a little at the compliment, but the rest of the group didn’t seem to think it was a positive thing.

“What would be good is he didn’t bother us,” Grant said.

Steve left the room after that, didn’t want to be a bother, but also didn’t want them to see the hurt he knew was painted on his face.

He sat in his room again, staring at the wall.

“Steve!” Eddie’s voice came from the other side of the door. He heard a couple other voices not far off.

“Go away! Just go play your game guys.”

Eddie opened the door a crack.

“I don’t want everyone to be up here, Eds.”

Steve started to push the door closed, but Eddie pushed back.

“Wait! It’s just me.”

“Is it?”

He heard footsteps walking away and back down the stairs.

“Yeah, just me.”

“Fine.”

Eddie sat with him for a minute, holding his hand.

It was a nice reminder that no matter what, Eddie loved him. Eddie loved the way he took care of people.

“The guys wanna apologize. They didn’t mean to be shitty.”

“They did.”

“No. I think they’re just trying to wrap their head around being here and you and us.”

“So they decide to act like I’m a…newtsance?”

“You’re not a nuisance, sweetheart. They don’t actually think that. In fact, they all really loved the cranberry ginger ale punch you made, maybe you could get us all fresh cups?”

“Really? They did?”

“Yeah,” Eddie beamed at him, kissed his nose. “And you can watch the rest of the game if you want to. They’ll be nice.”

“Okay. Um is it okay if I bake cookies instead?”

“Anything you wanna do is fine, love. But they’re gonna apologize to you first. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, especially not in your own home.”

The guys did apologize, and it did seem genuine. They still were a little awkward, but when Steve brought fresh baked chocolate brownie cookies into the dining room, they got over it quickly.

[elektrischemaidchen]

Lisztober #13: Richard Wagner

Lisztober #13: Richard Wagner

Let's put it kindly: We f****in hate Wagner, @franzliszt-official

So much so, that we've been working on this song for three months (!!!) in a row and had to keep censoring ourselves, so that nobody from Bayreuth would sue us. I was foaming at the mouth when I wrote the lyrics and it was twice as long. The current version is way more harmless, but still very explicit. I still feel pruned.

In the meantime, we've pretty much agreed that our Wagner-rant will be the first single from our new album. And that we will actually be travelling 5 hours to Bayreuth for a music video. I'll start puking as soon as I see the city sign. You'll be surprised.

The actual song is a beautiful two-part ‘in your face’ electropunk song, which we will unfortunately only be able to present to you here after its release.

So today we're simply playing you an EXCLUSIVE acoustic, heavily (!!!!!!) wine influenced version with wrong notes and creepy laughter, which we tried to distort in advanced and failed.  ( Also with a bit of a beat, otherwise it'll be too monotonous), Sooo we can all cuddle up to and hug each other in our hatred. (And this hatred has a long, long history, by the way: Coppelia and I met at the university, where the beginning of the song takes place. This also Weimar, everybody.)

But why do we actually despise Wagner?

Because he was a pompous, narcissistic megalomaniac. A two-faced, Janus-faced snake, a shitty anti-Semite of the worst kind who sucked everyone around him dry and then threw them away. Even Liszt. ESPECIALLY Liszt. A hypocrite before the Lord. And then there's the irony that his obvious gayass (Oh, come on! Ludwig II? Oscar Wilde? Any Wagner opera is gayer than a binge- marathon of „Drag Race“ with Strawberry Daiquiris) has constantly hung out with such Teutonic alphamales like Nietzsche. In short: A real-life-„Uriah Heep“, that not even Dickens could have thought up in a certanied f****ed up way.

And that's just Richard himself. There's also his work, which became the soundtrack to National Socialism and the all-time-favorite to all f****** Nazis, thanks to his zealous family. They all loved having ‘Uncle Wolf’, as Hitler was called at Wahnfried, around. „If I think of Germany in the night, I am jolted from my sleep.“ Thank you. Heine!

Then there is Cosima. Liszt's daughter, who later became Wagner's wife. Who had forbidden Franz to get any visits during the last days of his life in Bayreuth, but not at all for reasons of too much excitement, as one might think. Thanks to Franz's pupil Lina Schmalhausen, who stayed outside the house for days, we know: Cosima left the old man in his bed until he was sore, only came to check on him briefly in the morning and left him to moan and rattle alone at night. After all, there were more important things to do: the festival. A few hours before Franz's death, there was still a jolly supper for the Wagner family and friends. And oh, of course, a bust of Wagner at the feet of Liszt's corpse. Cosima refused him the last rites. Something was played at his funeral...right! Parsifal. Incidentally, no Wagner was present at the service. And the fact that Liszt was buried (there seems to be no English translation for the German word "verscharrt"...in German it's: Dig a hole and throw the corpse in, put some soil on it and continue on) in Bayreuth at all fitted perfectly into the marketing concept. They finally gained the last crown jewel missing from the collection of self-congratulation. Congratulations, you stupid, abusive, heartless, freakin bitch.

DISGUSTING!

What a completely insane, sadistic brainf****. I'll write another song about it. Maybe on the last day. I think I have something to process.

And yet, they all make the pilgrimage, the Wagnerians, to Bayreuth, sing songs together at Richard‘s grave, shed tears and lay flowers. All because of the ‘great’ operas and all that, of course. You just have to train yourself to forget.

Micdrop.

PS: Finally, I would just like to take up some cudos for Nike Wagner, the ‘outcast’. She is still keeping the memory of her great-great-grandfather alive. And I think she even looks a bit like him. Nike. We love you. Come back to Bonn <3

Lyrics:

My history prof(essor) Was a sweet guy But unfortunately there had been a problem With his love for Wagner For him, there was only Richard here and Richard there Although everyone knows How shitty that guy was Wagner! Persona non grata! it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me listening to one of Wagner’s operas We just wanted to learn medieval studies Now we will be penetrated by Valkyries Wagner's ego Was enough for ten With which he could well To walk over corpses Wagner! Persona non grata! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me listening to one of Wagner’s operas He was a mad Anti-Semite Who liked to f**** around with others He could not admit his own gayness And had to beg everyone for For money Wagner! Persona non grata! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than me listening to one of Wagner’s operas I puke over Cosima too Who unfortunately wasn't as cool Like her daddy was They trained Liszt to be a Their poodle And always  craved his fame Wagner! Persona non grata! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me listening to one of Wagner’s operas All oft hem just Infatuated with themselves The worst thing: They buried Franz In Bayreuth You have f****ed up Nietzsche too After that he Dismantled slowly Wagner! Persona non grata! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me listening to one of Wagner’s operas In Wahnfried Adolf was a permanent guest The memory of it Seems faded already You just have to keep the myth alive Fold your hands Above Wagner busts You’ll just have to train How to forget Then it will be easier To  mastr*ba*e to Lohengrin Wagner! Persona non grata! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for me listening to one of Wagner’s operas Richard, yo, if I were Your mistress on the hill I would give you a good Beating A good beating!

(Thank you.)

[findingmypeace]

You keep saying “it’s all in my head” about the physical symptoms after normal test results as though there’s a dichotomy between abnormal test results and it all being imaginary, but that’s not reality. You seem to be discarding the possibility that your physical symptoms are simply a very real result of being severely malnourished and dehydrated and that what you need to resolve them is more food and hydration. You deserve to give yourself the chance to see whether that’s the case and the only way to find out is to interrupt the behavior cycle.

“This seems like a good time to “play out the tape” what happens if you don’t go to treatment? More medical events/ER visits, more ED bleeding into your work, then what”

This was asked a few weeks ago and I think in the time since I’ve very slowly started to accept what you’re saying. I think my fear has always been ‘has my ed caused irreversible damage and is that why I feel so shitty’. I did have the cardiologist I recently saw explain that he couldn’t do further testing because my current state of malnutrition might mess up the test results as he wouldn’t be able to tell what will go away with proper nutrition and what is an actual heart problem. That made a lot of sense to me. I don’t know why it was that conversation but it did help me come to terms with the fact that I might feel better with food.

And to your other point, I do think playing the tape forward is important and I have done that in the past. I think what’s hard right now is that I’m so afraid that if I let go of what I’ve worked so hard for it will all disappear and things will go back to how they’ve always been. I am terrified of losing everything. But I know you’re right and that if I keep going I might not have any choice with how it effects work and other areas of my life.

I also want to add that I know you’re going through a hard time too. I may not be the mostly openly supportive right now but I am cheering everyone on and I hope you make the right choices for your recovery as well.💕

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

found this in my drafts and i can’t remember what my point was here or if i was gonna add anything else to this. but i agree with everything i wrote so i’m just releasing it into the wild as-is

tangentially related to the first paragraph of this post only: the fact that there are little hints of a traumatic backstory for jack that make it possible to read him somewhat sympathetically (somewhat. he’s still a huge asshole lol) while there isn’t any canonical evidence of anything sympathetic abt izzy in s1 unless u personally rlly relate to being a mean manager or to handling getting friendzoned very badly is actually one of the main reasons why i am always wildly surprised when ppl say jack and izzy are equally shitty characters (don’t even get me started on when ppl think jack is somehow worse. insane take). other reasons are basically variations of “we see other characters enjoy jack’s presence at some point, something that literally nobody in s1 does with izzy.” like the big one is ed obviously, ed clearly likes jack and likes having fun with jack (at least in small doses lol) which is something we never see with izzy, in fact every time it looks like ed is having too much fun in izzy’s presence izzy tries very hard to make that stop. but also the crew think jack’s cool at first, which is a sentiment we never see literally any of them have about izzy. like jack is a piece of shit but he at least has the ability to be fun, something that s1 izzy is physically incapable of and is in fact something that i think the show is aware of. ofmd is very Pro Fun and supports getting silly, obviously the narrative also shows us that jack’s brand of fun runs sour when there isn’t respect for each other and no room to be vulnerable. but the characters in ofmd talk abt torturing ppl and getting tortured themselves as fun activities they enjoy doing and the show is not like “this is a bad thing” so i seriously doubt the show was trying to say “jumping off tall heights is a bad thing” or “blowing up random inanimate object is a bad thing” or “drinking and partying is a bad thing,” imo the show was saying “when the environment does not allow for people to pass on these activities without shame and mockery, that’s a bad thing.” and also “be careful with the things people care about. like their birds. take risks with your own life or with the lives of british ppl ur holding hostage if u want but for the love of god don’t put ppl’s birds at risk.”

but back to the sympathy thing. like we get absolutely nothing abt izzy’s backstory aside from “worked for ed for years,” and then little characterization details like “regularly pulls fang’s beard, which fang hates” and “seems to be really exhausted and easily frustrated by ed,” and then his two motivations throughout the season are the textual “wants stede to be dead so ed will retire and then izzy gets to be the guy in charge (until the end of e9 when he realizes he’s not good enough to be in charge so he needs ed to keep being scary blackbeard so he gets to keep that proximity to power)” and the more subtextual “has the hots for ed,” and the first one is not sympathetic bc “guy who who craves power and is a dick about it” is a pretty universally hated type of guy, and the second one is not sympathetic bc if izzy did All That in s1 bc he’s in unrequited “love” for ed then that’s some fatal attraction incel bullshit TeeBeeEych. all of this makes izzy a great character and an insane little freak to rotate in my mind palace on occasion but it does not make me sympathetic to him in the slightest. and then the only other ways to read izzy sympathetically in s1 are to 1. make up a bunch of bullshit (example: izzy and ed are actually literally married and are in their divorce era and ed is leaving izzy for a new man, which actually just reads like more fatal attraction shit to me but anyway) or to 2. take izzy at his word that he’s the only one keeping this operation together and everyone else needs to stop goofing off and being silly and take this shit seriously (which is actively reading against the text bc ofmd as a show is vehemently opposed to the idea that ppl need to stop being silly and take work seriously, which is a stance i don’t actually 100% agree with irl but like i’m not gonna get mad at a tv show for not having the same exact life philosophies as me)

(also i’m not just saying izzy is unsympathetic in s1 bc i personally dislike him, i truly believe the writers thought so too and i say this bc of how they went about redeeming izzy in s2. bc by mid s2 the narrative is pretty clear that izzy is A Fully Changed Man now and the rest of what he does in the season is just a bunch of stuff to directly contrast with the shitty stuff he did last season. zero character development actually happens past like episode 4 or 5. and we never actually got an arc abt why izzy suddenly grew as a person bc they didn’t have the time or they didn’t care enough abt izzy to make the time for it. what we got instead was putting izzy in the narrative torment nexus. instead of getting an actual redemption arc abt learning that what he did was wrong, and instead of building on literally any of the character traits or backstory details izzy might’ve had in s1, the writers just put izzy through physical hell to make us feel bad for him now bc there was nothing from s1 they could spin sympathetically. it’s honestly kinda weak writing and i remember thinking this when game of thrones did the same thing to that one guy theon or whoever. however unlike game of thrones i think it’s funny that ofmd speedran an izzy redemption arc. the did it bc he was just not important enough to prioritize that much screentime to and i respect it)

calico jack sympathy is a very rich vein for emotional ed whump btw. not saying anyone needs to sympathize with jack at all bc he DOES suck and personally idc enough abt jack to sympathize with him for his own sake, but there is actually textual support for a sympathetic cj read. canonically he has the same traumatic pirate background as ed and the two of them went through a rlly rough time together. we have direct support from the show that jack’s rejection of anything “soft” or “weak” comes from hornigold—the very first mention of hornigold in the entire show is when jack sees the breakfast table set for ed and stede and starts teasing ed for it with “just the two of you? hornigold would shit himself.” plus ed tells stede “jack’s always been emotional” and “he can come on a bit strong but he’s insecure” which strongly implies that ed has seen a side of jack that we don’t get to see in the one episode where he shows up. it’s a side that very well might be completely gone now that jack’s a grown adult man but to me it runs counter to the text to claim that ed’s assessment of jack is completely wrong and this vulnerable side of jack never existed in the first place.

so anyway one possible angle here for sympathizing with jack as a vessel for whumping poor ed’s heart is the tragedy of two kids going through something awful together and not being able to count on each other during the whole experience. being trapped in a physically and emotionally abusive environment together and empathizing when the captain singles one of them out bc they know firsthand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of hornigold’s ire, but at the same time they’re not able to ask each other for support bc what if they use that vulnerability, that plea for comfort, as a weapon against you? what if you try to offer them support and comfort and they push you away? what if, when you DO rely on each other for support, your captain sees that bond and uses it to torture you both even further?

and what do you do if you both comfort each other, you both take care of each other, and then one of you fucking dies? because that’s how it goes—most of the pirates ed knows are dead, a pirate’s life is short but nice, the only retirement they get is death, you’re not likely to avoid near-death experiences in their line of work, heading towards a raid with the one hope being that a certain death ain’t slow. and it’s not just raids, either: your captain might have you keelhauled for a minor offense, might starve you for a week if you laugh at him during a speech, might feed you a live crab for nicking some rations, or maybe a disagreement with another crew member could turn into bloodshed. maybe someone will push you overboard for shits and giggles. what do you if you’ve found comfort with a crewmate, and then that crewmate dies? how do you cope? you’re probably better off not letting yourself care for anyone, rejecting people’s pleas for support or intimacy or friendship, because it’ll hurt less when they inevitably end up dying horrifically just like everyone else you’ve ever cared about.

and then the other big ed whump angle here is watching someone you experienced horrific trauma with not only fail to process the trauma in a healthy way but also become a worse person as a result of it. like ed knowing firsthand just how awful everything jack experienced was and remembering exactly what it looked like every time hornigold beat the spirit out of jack when he was ultimately just a vulnerable kid. ed hearing jack say some toxic macho bullshit and knowing exactly where jack learned that and how much it hurt for 20-something-year-old jack to absorb that lesson—and more than that, ed remembering when he used to believe that exact sort of toxic shit. and ed feeling like he can’t hold it against jack if he doesn’t grow bc he sees so many similarities between him and jack, and the only reason he was able to heal and become a better person is bc he met stede—and it’s not like stede was the only person in the whole world ed could’ve connected with, he had an entire ship full of kindhearted doofuses ready to offer him emotional support and he betrayed all of them because the recent back-to-back backstabbing compounded on a lifetime of trauma and made it impossible for ed to trust them. how can ed blame jack for rejecting opportunities to heal when ed did the same thing? when he can remember watching firsthand as years of abuse caused jack to gradually close himself off, the worst part of it being that it was like watching his own reflection as he also hardened under the pressure of just trying to survive another fucking day? how can ed judge jack, when jack is who he might’ve been if he’d never met stede?

[mellarkably]

🚨 NHIE SPOILERS BELOW 🚨

first of all. that was a crazy ass season. so much happened and i can barely keep up or remember. so while this probably won't be a coherent or well worded recap, yhat defintely won't go over everything that i just watched for the past six hours, it'll just be my thoughts for now.

personally, i really liked the kamala plot and her struggle in the workplace. it was probably one of my favorite parts of the season. i'm not sure if kamala will be ditching prashant for mr. kulkarni but if she does i wouldn't be shocked. considering how prashant played into the whole workplace problem. also rip steve lol who remembers him. homie got done dirty.

now speaking of devi. there were many things she did this season that were not at all good or rational. however, i do like the fact that they delved more into her grief, and overall she actually seemed to develop over the season which made me happy. there are aspects of her grieving process that kinda felt unanswered, but hey, it is what it is. for what it's worth, im happy with the amount of growth she had over ten episodes. i actually felt like giving devi a hug so many times towards the end. and maitreyi killed it as always.

regarding the new kids! malcolm, well, i honestly kinda have intense apathy towards him as a character. he was cool at the start, a dick at the end—so yeah, i feel like he served his purpose overall. i felt extremely bad for oliver the entire time. and aneesa! she was the coolest addition they could honestly have had to the team. she's fun, charming, and fits in very well. i felt extreme sympathy for her ed and im glad they put a hotline at the end of those episodes. she's a great girl.

i'm very glad they gave paxton more of a well fleshed out personality this season. he seemed much more personable overall. although i felt like his episode at times fell a bit flat or felt too preachy regarding the whole hot people can be smart too concept, it was overall a fantastic episode and gigi hadid was a great choice as narrator. also loved the little switch to ben's pov when andy steps in. that was funny. i also liked the fact that they went into his ethnicity!

regarding his romantic feelings for devi though. i feel like i can't understand? like does he like her? does he not? is he embarassed of her? is he not? i failed to understand where he was most of the time. the mixed signals, like. paxton. i like you, but huh? well, to be fair, the romance in devi's life this season was pretty much a rollercoaster ride anyways so. i do love paxton's obijan though. great guy. we didn't get enough of rebecca though!

out of the two besties, i honestly liked fab's story a lot more. it felt relatable, that whole feeling of not being able to fit in as a new sapphic. and i adore fab and eve. i'm glad they didnt make their relationship too cookie cutter.

eleanor's subplot was alright. again, it was really hard to kinda, if i put this blatantly, give a fuck about malcolm and whatever their relationship was. (loved tyler alveraz's performance though) but i liked her talking with her stepmom sharon. i wish they spent more time on that rather than malcolm but again, they don't have much time to waste.

i loved nalini's subplots. all of them. she was honestly one of my fav characters this season, as well as devi's grandma. we got to delve into the indian culture more too, so that was very cool. her relationship with dr. jackson was also nice for the short time they had with each other. i didn't expect them to breakup, i kinda just expected devi to learn to be okay with her mother moving on, but then again, i also agree that it felt a little fast. i loved the flashbacks with mohan too.

i feel like i wanna save ben and benvi for last because i have too much to say. it was an absolute rollercoaster ride to be a team ben while watching this season. i'm a bit dissapointed that we didn't get any individual plot regarding him, stuff that didn't have to do with girls, but i get why. he got that in s1, and it was paxton's turn to shine.

regarding the whole ben and aneesa thing; honestly, i think they're cute. i love aneesa and i love ben. i just want him to be happy. but it's clear he still has feelings for devi and he doesn't really know what he wants, which sucks for everyone involved. i think that he just assumed that devi liked paxton more than him, that he was her second choice (which honestly, considering the things that transpired, it's not very hard to see why he though that, and he was clearly hurt with her clear choice of paxton over him on multiple occassions) but oh well.

i feel like ben was a catalyst for a lot of the things devi needed to do. like apologize to aneesa, for example. and in that way, they still work well. i loved their banter, whenever we got it. i have hope for them in season 3 (if it happens), considering the way they ended it, but eh. aneesa is also a great girl, so it sucks that this is the direction we're going. but yeah. i am a bit bitter with the dreadf lack of benvi i kinda got this season, but their conversations and the way he helped push her development did make me feel a little better.

as for what team i'm on or whatever, i don't feel like i'm avidly on any team tbh. i'm still lowkey rooting for ben and devi. the reason why i'm not completely getting behind daxton is because i didn't really like what paxton did in episode 10, with the whole not wanting them to be public thing. the entire season felt like he was sending mixed signals. not that i'm saying hes a shitty guy or anything, but yeah. and the reason i'm not completely team ben is because he seems to be teetering between aneesa and devi, so yes, again with the mixed signals. kind of. but the reason i'm still rooting for ben is because i really liked the way they pushed each other, or majorly, he pushed her development, with asking her to apologize, etc. and although him getting together with anessa was not a win for me, a benvi, to relish, i think it helped devi learn to act a little more mature and less territorial.

if i'm being completely honest, i think that devi needed to be single at the end of this season, at least for now. i read the synopsis of episode 10 and was kinda hoping that she'd make that choice, that she'd choose herself, because what she needs isn't a boyfriend. what she needs is just to recover. and i honestly still don't feel like she completely got over her dad's death.

OVERALL THOUGH. this was a much better season than the first one. i feel like they finally got into their groove in terms of acting and comedy. (also trent is the funniest >>>) although i felt like this season was kinda like the first one but on steroids, which at most times was very anxiety inducing to watch, i did like the episodes and i was heavily entertained. go watch it!

i also really need a season 3 so—

[bouncyalex]

I see you’re from Canada. Hopefully that helps with some of the medical expenses.

Is there anything we can do to help if we don’t have any money? Like any organizations we can donate old clothes to? Or anything like that.

Yes, I am in Canada. It’s a good thing for having access to the universal healthcare. But ambulance and meds aren’t covered.

You are bringing a very interesting question here. There are many local organizations that takes donations for clothes, and food banks. Some are local organizations, some are national. They will put in priority kids and families, which makes some sense, but that means they are not going to help me.

In my case, I am ok for food, clothes, home and basics. Where I can cut is on quality of diapers that I need, cut some meds that will not kill me when I will stop them, reduce to the minimum my physical therapies, put a cross on everything that will cost money (fun, movies, Christmas, birthdays, dentist, optometrist, everything not essential at all.).

My stock of diapers is getting low, so, diaper donations can be an option eventually. I am working on finding ways to get some financial help from government, local donation centers, my city, any hidden disability programs that could exist, bank loan, family and relatives, also my special ed therapists. It seems like there is no way to maintain my physical therapies without paying them from my pocket. It’s literally a crack in our system. If I was still under 18, there would have been no problem at all to get help through many organizations and government, and universal healthcare system itself. I sold what I could, I have mid term to long term solutions brewing, but no short term ones. I need to fill the upcoming gap that will happen this fall until mid term solution take place.

If anyone have any good ideas, or might know any association who helps disabled adults in distress like I am, please don’t hesitate to post it here, or PM me. In worst case, I feel totally ridiculous to say that, but I believe it’s true that if a lot of my friends and followers could give one dollar, at the end, that will make a big difference for me! I will never forget ppls who already helped me! It takes critical situations to understand what this is all about. And the day my friends will need help, I’ll be there to help the best I can. In fact, I have helped my friends and my parents and family a lot when they needed it and for many years already!

Everytime I went to pick up my father at the hospital for heart attack, surgeries, any followups he needs to be accompanied, He always tells me he will pay my gas and parking. I never accepted any money from him, because for the number of times he and mom were there to get me in and out of hospital and specialists, I believe it’s my turn to take care of them and not worry about money.

I even bought a cheap car and rented an apartment where one of my friend in psychological distress would rather die than getting rid of his 2 dogs because he couldn’t find any places that were accepting his 2 dogs. He never paid me back, and I am very proud he is now happy, much better, and he helped moving 2 times.

I have helped another abdl moving from his shitty apartment into a much better place, and I did not charge anything. What matters is well-being of my friends, and he needed a bit of help to fill the gap btw the time he gets his 1st pay check and the deposit fee at his new apartment. It reminds me he didn’t refund me, and I wasn’t upset because he did work and be able to pay his bills. He doesn’t talk to me anymore, but I see him online here still, and I guess that’s fine if he doesn’t want to talk to me. I am glad I could have helped him the best I could, even if my own budget was not that great at that time.

Everyone is shitting bricks with that pandemic, and inflation. Well, not everyone, but a lot of us are struggling. I am asking money myself, while I donated 2$ to CHU Ste-Justine children hospital earlier this week, because my 2$ times thousands of people thinking the same way will definitely help them more than me, an adult with autism, and several health issues, who is still alive today, thinking that these kids need help even more than I do.

All that said, I am pro active right now, and I am still helping others when it’s possible. I deal with every challenge God is sending me. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s frustrating, but I have hope that even ppls who follow me with no interest of getting to know me or talk to me can understand my situation, and am very open to intelligent alternatives to money if they are willing to help. But please, no disrespectful or stupid idea like that guy who wanted me to prostitute myself to get an easy 20 bucks from him because he wanted something in return.😑 Really? Sharing thousands of pictures and videos for free wasn’t already enough? He made me upset, I was sad, and I had to block this guy who started to be harassing me. I don’t deserve this, nobody does, and especially when it’s a serious situation here for me. I am more than just a random dude in diapers! I am a great hearted person with multiple talents and narrowed interests who is always here to listen to everyone, and answer the best I can and help .

I had no idea I was going to write such a long answer here! For those reading this until the end, 🙏 Thank you! Thank you, and… THANK YOU! 🥹

[tedturneriscrazy]

A surprising number of people seemed to like what I had to say about Separate Tides, so let's do it again with Escaping Expulsion! Again, no profound insights or deep analysis here, just some of my thoughts.

Wow, Odalia, it only took you two minutes to make me hate your guts, bravo!

Incidentally, after hearing Odalia call Amity "Mittens," that nickname is officially ruined for me.

The fact Amity keeps the Grom photo on her at all times ❤

Luz giving me flashbacks to the Avatar intro

Of course Lilith is a teacher's pet. And of course it's adorable.

I didn't know "tool" as an insult was allowed on kids' shows, but then again Gravity Falls did get away with "McSuckit," so...

My boy Gus is becoming a man! Love that for him!

As disturbing as that fairy pie is (can't wait to see what @dtdynasty does with that, btw), it's a very sweet gesture, especially if Amity made it herself.

The fact Odalia had Amity come along just to witness the expulsion 🤬

Ah, Alador, you're almost endearing enough to make me forget you're a terrible father.

I know it's mostly played for laughs, but Bump does seem genuinely heartbroken about having to expel Luz, Willow, and Gus.

Willow watering the tree with her tears 💔

I can empathize with Amity in this situation. Gathering up the courage to stand up to a domineering parental figure is hard.

The animators knew exactly what they were doing putting Luz in that pose. Prove me wrong.

More Lulu and Hootcifer! Fuck yeah.

I do appreciate that Luz encounters the abomination butler and almost immediately gives it a cat face. By extension, I also appreciate that Amity sees the cat face and immediately knows who stopped by.

I had heard the comparisons made between the Blights and Tony Stark, and considering their main business I can see it.

Considering how much Odalia is enjoying tormenting poor Luz, I think the show really wants me to hate her. To which I shall oblige.

I never knew or even thought about what the Hexside uniform looked like without the cowl until this episode.

Happy to see Willow's dads have more screen time. Maybe more than a few seconds in future episodes?

At least we know that Glasses Dad is the Cool Dad.

"Luz is in trouble!" "Again!"

The way they argue about how to break into the building is a nice moment. Ironically, the way they bicker actually makes me believe their friendship.

Ed and Em coming in with the assist (and "Hex me" signs) is likewise a good sibling/family moment.

The whole "Stay away from my Luz!" moment...I have further words, but I'll need another post (and some screencaps) for that.

That said...LUZ BLUSH LUZ BLUSH LUZ BLUSH LUZ BLUSH LUZ BLUSH LUZ BLUSH LUZ BLUSH

Also, Amity, goddamn-ity! Be the badass you were destined to be!

Overall great Lumity content in this one.

I saw a few rumblings about Luz not being the one to figure out the whole combining glyphs thing, but I'm honestly okay with it. As smart and clever as Luz is, it's important to remember that Eda and Lilith still have 40+ years of experience using magic, and they were both shown to be strong academically, so it makes sense for them to make such discoveries.

As weird as it sounds, seeing Odalia and Alador talk post-demo, I think they actually genuinely love each other. It would be more endearing if they weren't such shitty parents.

While I wasn't charmed by the Golden Guard in the last episode like everyone else seemed to be, I actually liked his presence here. The veiled threat wrapped inside the gift of financial support was rather brilliant. It somehow hadn't occurred to me that what Blight Industries was doing was tantamount to building a private army, but in hindsight that's actually quite obvious.

One last thing: I find it interesting that Blight Industries, as successful and lucrative as it is, is, in fact, a subsidiary of the Abomination Coven. I wonder how that'll come into play later...

Okay, that's it for now. I think later I'll talk about Amity's dramatic entrance and why that was the perfect moment for Luz to realize her crush on Amity.

[doubledyke]

Comparing Edd to Eddy, which of the two you would say gone through the worst shit throughout the show?

(regarding both their homelifes AND all the bad stuff across the episodes too).

putting this under the cut cuz it gets pretty miserable lmao

also, i'm including ed.

as far as the canon of the show and movie i'll go with eddy obviously because of the whole bro thing, and bc he's most often the target of everyone's rage. at least with ed and edd, there seems to be a baseline of decency and occasional kindness from the other kids. as soon as eddy rears his square head, everyone's groaning and patting at their pockets. nazz and rolf are okay towards him a couple times i guess, but it ends in disaster nonetheless.

still going strictly by canon events i'd say edd is next. he's so damn stressed the entire time that it stresses ME out. eddy and ed put him through a lot both mentally and physically. he's so frail 😭 he can't handle all that.

ending with ed just cuz he comes off as impervious to any physical harm, and blocks a lot of the mental stuff as a defense mechanism. he does whatever he can to stay in his happy place and he's gotten really good at it. not saying he doesn't go through anything or that he isn't affected, he's just the least affected of the three.

we don't have a ton to go off of in terms of their home life, which is totally fine by me. preferable in fact. as a disclaimer, it's generally shitty to compare trauma, but they're cartoon characters so i'll compare their *fictional* trauma lmao. all just my opinion etc., etc.

during the run of the show, my opinion is that ed has it the worst at home. i imagine that he's made to feel very much like the red headed step-child. it's his parents and sarah teaming up against him, blaming him for all their problems. belittling, degrading and and if he's lucky, ignoring him. his dad really just reacts to what his wife and daughter tell him, but he reacts just the same. ed is cast to the basement and they all try really really hard to pretend that he doesn't exist. maybe his dad takes pity on him from time to time and buys him a comic or a movie behind his wife's back. or maybe he doesn't. he certainly doesn't want to ruffle feathers and make himself more miserable than he already is. come on, he just got off work. and once again, ed checks out to survive. i think there would be a point where ed and edd kinda look at each other and are like "what the fuck" in response to seeing ed's treatment first hand. we kind of get something close to that in the show when ed tells them they literally took his stairs.

edd is next i guess cuz he's got such a terrible wake up call in his future. realizing that no dude, it's not even slightly normal to communicate with your parents strictly via sticky note. it's not normal for a kid to be expected to take care of every single chore and task around the house. and all the books, all the academic achievements, all the folded socks in the world aren't gonna make them love you. then dealing with his (i always use this word) DEBILITATING anxiety on top of all that? i've said it before but he's straight up burnt out by the end of the show at age 12/13.

edd by the start of bps:

i put eddy last bc at least during the show his home life seems relatively normal. his mom is very obviously doting and his dad is okay as long as he keeps that wrist tight. with bro gone, the immediate threat is neutralized, and he's in no hurry to unpack anything going on internally. much like the other two, there's a major realization and subsequent struggle in his future. but he's slightly more deluded than edd and is actually the last of the three to accept that his childhood was fucked up. even after bps, he kinda knows, but he's incapable of accepting that he was a victim. bruises heal, what's the big deal? bro didn't have to do all that in front of everyone though, geez. his self worth is so low that he doesn't believe his experiences can be considered abuse. he's the one that pissed his brother off, after all. and so on and so forth. anywho, if bro still lived in the house i'd probably put him at the top of the list cuz like... not to get too dark here but idk man "accidents" happen and who knows if bro could've been stopped if no one was around. my personal hc as to why bro left or was forced to leave is that there was a really close call.

so yeah they all have fucked up home lives and day to day lives. they're so miserable 🥺 yes i will compound it 🥹

[ameliasbitvh]

ahhhh! thank you all soso much for the 300 followers! i just hit 200 last week?! how are there 300 of you? i honestly don’t know, but i started this account as a place to just read smut and then i decided to post on here. the reason why my first post was angst was because i was being a slut for angst to feel something in those few moments- okay i’ll stop myself right there. for this milestone i’m going to do mutual appreciation for the moots i’ve interacted with the most so far! (if we’re moots and u wanna interact pls do, i’m not scary!)

okayy first up,

@underappreciated-spoon-321

i love you so much bby, i could not believe it when you followed me. i was legit crying happy tears and i specifically remember you followed me after i posted “needy” random lol.

your writing is immaculate, absolutely lovely. ur smut *chefs kisses* i love that you put up with my shit photos that i send you and that you actually ask for more- but it baffled me when you first interacted with me, this was my reaction

*deep breath* “omfg! (ur username) just interacted with me, wtf do i do?!” also ur nick name reminds me of belly from dear, draco.

i’m not writing a lot, bc for your sleepover i wrote you a damn paragraph 😭 but i love u sm belly!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

@dracoskinks

ARI! i love talking to you, bc i can talk about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. like kinks, porn, random draco scenarios, etc… you are one of the funniest people i have seen on this app.

ur blunt and funny at the same time, it just makes it more fun to talk to you. ur smut is soso good, bc i don’t find a lot of smut with a dom!reader and sub!draco.

i remember you followed me, so out of curiosity i checked out your blog and saw your piss kink fic and that did it for me. after that i followed you back and we became moots ajnwja. when ur first account got terminated you scared me so fucking much, because i thought you were going to leave tumblr forever. don’t. ever. play. like. that. again. i’m glad we became moots bc i fucking love you <3

@opalsheart

I LOVE YOU SM! i think u were the first moot that i interacted with in direct messages, bc you had tea to spill, and ever since than we’ve been #4lifers. you send me edits and hate on t*m felton with me on instagram. you were the first mutual to know what i looked like lmaoo. u r an absolute goddess, bestie, like what- i know that you can pull anyone you want, so stop playing when you talk about someone.

even though we have a fucking 12 hour time difference, we still find time to talk to each other. it is so fun talking with you and the fact that when we talk it’s night for one of us. you let me send that stupid tik tok of ed sheeran and t*m felton to you and it probably haunts your dreams now ajnwajsj-

i appreciate that you study ur MF ass off for your exams, bc i could never. and you even send me those cute memes when i wake up- also we better be watching those true crime documentaries, bc i’m still waiting. idc if we have a time difference :) anyways ILY SM ELLIE !! <3

@laceycallisto

okay- where do i even get started with this. we first interacted when i reblogged that draco fan fic and we reblogged talking about how desperate we were trying to find that iconic fic. and i forgot that the creator could see all the reblogging we were doing- you texted me directly about adding my name into your tags, which obviously i agreed to. then we just started talking about random shit like how we were superior because we were june geminis. or how we talked about being in love with remus lupin.

i have vivid flash backs of how your remus fic hurt me. i cried my false lashes off proof reading janajaj- bestie- you’ve seen me cry ajnwja- your writing is ethereal, i don’t know how you can see that? your so nice too, like girly u gave me ur netflix within like a day of knowing each other 💀 we watched bridgerton in two mother fucking sittings. we ate that bridgerton hoe up!

all ur input on the scenes were so funny like the “with child” and “dicking” comments 😭 i love how it’s so easy to talk to you about everything, like how dumb i am- even talking about the privilege of being poc and not burning in the sun. bruh u even let me tag u in dumb tik tok videos, like what?! and i think your the only mutual i have that’s in the same time zone as me… also we better binge the next season. but ily sm, ur like my older sister, even if u say ur life is shitty 😭 <3

@dracomalfoys-wh0re

honestly, kacia. i owe a lot to you for my account being “found” or whatever, bc you reblogged a fic of mine, i’m pretty sure it was “common room” and that’s when i started getting notes and followers najajwjwj- you might not know that but i do 💀 i will forever remember that.

you literally were one of the first accounts ever- to follow me. and i won’t lie, i went crazy when u followed me because i love your fics so much! you are so funny and blunt too i swear 😭

and can we talk about your tom riddle fic? like?!the fact that you really showed tom’s true personality and character. every world had me enthralled further into the fic, the way you wrote him is exactly how i think tom riddle would act towards his s/o. his toxicity and gaslighting is too accurate.

moving on from the discussion of your fic, which is amazing, ily sm babe!!

@yoooespinosa

we’ve interacted a few times and when u texted me directly saying that you thought i was sweet, i literally went, “omg- people think i’m sweet” in a good way, not bad jkwajjw- can i just get started on your writing, because oh. my. fucking. god. it is the most captivating and heart breaking thing i’ve ever seen- the emotions that you put into every word completes the entire fic. every angst piece that you have written, made me cry or made something inside me just twist with sadness. it is truly lovely and magnificent.

how do ur fics not get thousands of notes? because everyone should see what you write, it’s unfair that others haven’t seen your fics. when u explained your dream to me, i swear you practically wrote a whole fic 😭

i remember u said that you wanted to do a face reveal, but we’re scared. bestie what are you scared of? you look like an ANGEL!! and if anyone were to disagree, they are obviously blind. but ily bestie <3

@o-rion-sta-r

BESTIE BAE ORION i love you so much!interacting with you is honestly so fun. and i remember like literally yesterday we were trying to figure out ari’s time zone and we were freaking out. you, ari, and me all have a fucking time difference 😭 it sucks so much!

at least every day you ask me how my days been and i think that’s so sweet, because before i got on tumblr people didn’t ask that question. i appreciate that you ask me that and just random questions in general, because i love interacting with you so much. and you should start writing bby! i will reblog anything you write, also ily sm <3

@ilygw

we don’t talk a lot, but you seem like a fun person! i love seeing all the edits you post on here, bc honestly i need more ferret boy content. i know there is a lot, but i feel like i’ve seen all of them. until i see you posting a new edit and i’m like, “okay… i guess i haven’t seen every draco edit” but that’s all i have lol, ly!!

@arcaneslut

to be honest, you seemed so intimidating to me. i know you said you’re not, but to me you seemed really scary even though i knew you weren’t 😭 i just interacted with you recently and you are so sweet i swear! i love all ur fics, especially “and then i felt nothing” because when i read this fic you better believe i was crying so hard- to the point where i couldn’t breath- everything was written so beautifully, i couldn’t believe it.

i love how one thing we share in common is losing our phones 💀 but i just wanted to say thank you for explaining the whole sleepover and celebration things to me! even tho we just started interacting i already love u!!

moots bc i’m in love with all of them: @just-a-smol-spoon @dreamy-clousds @dracoskinks @unedibledaisyduck @thatsassyhufflepuff @a-aexotic @l0vely-lupin @gothboutique @wolfstar4lifee @littlemissnoname13 @deatthfairy @arcaneslut @ladyvesuvia @laceycallisto @dracossweetprincess @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep @realityblocked @harmqnia @yoooespinosa @opalsheart @lilscloud @cupids-crystals @mellifluousart @lunas-kisses @malfoysmainb @klauscarolove @crystxlss @beforeoursunsets @marrymetheonott @queeriacs @electriclocean @dlmmdl @o-rion-sta-r @sfdlm @ilygw @desiredmalfoy @underappreciated-spoon-321 @draco-and-tom @hellounicorn @mugglesthesedays @dracomalfoys-wh0re

if i didn’t tag u it’s bc i can’t tag more than 50 blogs :(

[moreidsdaughter]

broken (2)

spencer reid x reader

genre: angst

tw: mentions of murder and kidnapping, crying, comments alluding to body dysmorphia or ed.. I think that's it! let me know if you want me to add any other warnings.

word count: 1.2k

summary: in which a broken girl tells her story!

a/n: thank you guys for being here! it was just my birthday and we hit another milestone! I love you guys so much and I am so thankful for you guys! thank you @haileyyturner and @obliviousreid for betaing this chapter

JJ waits silently, the nerves are evident on her face. She explains that someone is killing families; specifically kidnapping, torturing, and inevitably murdering them in St. Petersburg, Florida. Each family is kept over a two week period. Then after that period of time, the unsub would move onto a different family. So far, the unsub has killed two families over the course of the month. The local law enforcement called the BAU because the unsub clearly has a signature.

“What’s their signature?” Hotch asks. JJ looks at Hotch, then looking back at the screen to change the pictures. These pictures reveal that each parent had a four mark etched into their chest. The unsub was choosing families of four; one father, one mother, a daughter, and a son.

“Why would the unsub mark them like this? It has to mean something, but what does it mean?” Y/n questions.

“In Chinese culture, the number four is thought to be unlucky, but it also means death. It is more commonly known as a symbol of death, it just comes from that culture, but if our unsub is from that background, the four could be representing unluckiness.” Spencer rambles, quick to speak his mind.

“But why the mother and father?” Derek asks, looking puzzled as he continues talking. “What makes marking them significant and not the children?”

“Maybe he sees the children as innocent... However, then it’s a matter of what the parents did to deserve this in the unsub’s eyes.” says Y/n. “Maybe cheating or not taking care of their kids properly?”

“Garcia, look into the families and more into the murders. Also, check CPS reports, ethnic backgrounds, and marriage counsel records. Otherwise, wheels up in thirty.” Hotch said with his usual stern face. Hotch rushes to get his papers together and leaves the room.

------------

“Coffee, Spence?” you ask, trying to not seem out of it. You go out of your way to smile a little and change your body language, so he won’t notice.

“Sure, Y/n. All the sugar in the world,” Spencer laughs. Then he notices something, your eyes look like you haven’t slept in days and your skin has an ashen, dull look to it. Spencer looks away quickly, not wanting to make it obvious, but it was too late.

“Spencer, why are you looking at me like that? Do I look bad or something?” you blurt out. The fear is always present in the back of your mind. ‘You can’t let him know’ you thought.

“No! No, you look fine.” Spencer says, trying not to lie to you.

And you know that Spencer is lying because you can hardly take a look at yourself. All the mirrors in your house are covered with black garbage bags. You're afraid of what you’ve become to the point where you can’t see yourself, because all you see is disappointment. The only mirror not covered is the bathroom even though it’s where your most insecure moments happen. You have to see yourself before work, that’s the only reason it isn’t covered. ‘If you can’t look at yourself, how can you expect others to?.’ is a thought that goes through your head frequently.

“Thanks Spence, here’s your coffee.” you say trying to ignore the thoughts running through your head. You walk away before Spencer can respond and you know that it's a risk, you just need a few minutes before the team leaves.

You make your way to the bathroom swiftly trying to keep it all in, but you couldn’t. Luckily the rest of the team was in the bullpen getting ready, so your coworkers seeing you wasn’t a problem. You opened the door and walked in, the mirrors on the wall taunting you. When you walk to the mirror, you see the mess on your face; your fatigue is evident, mascara is running down your face, and your face is puffy. It was like looking at a complete stranger, you didn’t even recognize yourself. Your eyes stare back at you and another set of tears fall down your face as you whisper, “Get yourself together.” You wash your face and return to the bullpen, awaiting for the team to leave.

------------

Y/n left in such a rush. ‘I wanted to say that she looks beautiful no matter what, but she just left. There has to be something wrong. She wouldn’t do anything like this months ago, so what changed?’ Spencer thought. He walks back to the bullpen conflicted about if he should say anything. ‘I should wait. Maybe if I find out more, it will be easier to confront her based on her behavior. But is it too intrusive?’ Walking to his desk and picking up his go bag, he notices that Y/n is back.

Spencer didn’t want to ask, but he could never be too sure. He walks over to Y/n and says, “You okay?” with a slight pout.

“I’m fine. My eyes were just really itchy and I needed to put in some eye drops.” Y/n says, fiddling with her hands.

‘She’s nervous’ Spencer thought to himself. “Oh, it’s okay.” Spencer says.

“Yeah, allergies are shitty.” Y/n laughed.

“Come on lovebirds, we gotta go!” Derek interrupts. Spencer and Y/n are clearly flustered and head to the jet.

------------

The plane ride is something, there’s a lot of turbulence and is overall really rocky, so no one is sleeping. Hotch goes about his day in the corner, looking at case files and probably putting a theory together about the unsub. JJ and Emily are laughing and chatting about things in their lives. Derek is in his usual spot with Spencer bickering about something, but I’m alone. Sitting in my corner of the jet, silently observing my surroundings. A big rule for the team is not to profile each other, because we're coworkers, and most importantly, family. I’m not profiling anyone, I’m just sitting there in silence because there isn’t much to think about. Except the fact that I have to be more careful around Spencer; he knows something is up and I hope he doesn’t profile me.

When we landed in St Petersburg, we rushed to the police station. We were there for hours, getting no sleep as we worked the case. Everyone was exhausted, so Hotch told us to go to our hotel rooms, hoping the team would come back tomorrow morning with a clear head. We hadn’t figured out much about the unsub yet. Except, that the unsub was burning the “4s” into the mothers and fathers. The car ride to the hotel was silent, probably due to frustration. When we got there, Hotch pulled us aside and told us this.

“So, there aren't enough rooms... We have to double up.” He said, but not with his usual straight-forward stern voice.

“Well, I think we all know Rossi is on his own…” said Derek.

“Yeah, out of respect I hope.” Rossi joked.

“Haha, yeah of course. Okay, so Hotch and I, Emily and JJ, Y/n and Reid? That works right?” Derek said.

“Yeah, totally!” said JJ. I had no idea how she managed to have enthusiasm with no sleep.

“Well Y/n, I guess you're with me.” said Spencer hesitantly, trying to smile a little bit.

‘Shit.’

taglist: @criminalbaby @criminalmindsvibez @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @dr-spence-reid @thatsonezesty13 @i-wanna-be-a-mushroom

[dmsden]

A History Lesson - Looking back at D&D’s history

Hullo, Gentle Readers. Well, this is the 5th Monday in March, and that means I get to write about anything I want! It’s also my birth month, which means it’s my anniversary of getting into D&D (42 years!), and that has me feeling nostalgic. Coupled with a discussion I had recently with some friends, I thought it would be fun to look back at the various editions of D&D and give you all a bit of history. I’m not going to get into Gygax vs Arneson or any of that. I’m only talking about the published game itself, not its creators or its storied origins.

The original D&D (or OD&D as it’s sometimes called) came in a small box. It had three booklets inside - Men & Magic, Monsters & Treasure, and The Underworld & Wilderness Adventures - along with reference sheets and dice. Each was softcover and roughly the same dimensions as a DVD/BluRay case. The game was pretty rudimentary - for one thing, it assumed you already had a copy of Chainmail, D&D’s direct wargame predecessor. It also recommended you have a game called Outdoor Survival for purposes of traveling through the wilderness. It had only three classes - fighting man, magic-user, and cleric - and nothing about playing other races. It did have the insane charts that 1st edition would ultimately known for, and it was possible to play a pretty fun game of D&D with it, as its popularity would come to show.

The game expanded through similar chapbooks - Greyhawk, Blackmoor, Eldritch Wizardry, Gods Demigods & Heroes, Swords & Spells. With the exception of the last one, each brought new facets to the game - new classes like Thief and Monk, new spells, new threats. It was clear the game was going to need an overhaul, and it got one.

I consider this overhaul to yield the real “1st Edition”, as so much of the game didn’t exist in those original games. The game split into a “Basic” game, just called Dungeons & Dragons and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.

The basic game was a boxed set that included a rulebook, a full adventure module, and dice...or, well, it was supposed to contain dice. The game was so popular and new in those days that demand for dice outstripped production. My copy of D&D came with a coupon for dice when they became available and a sheet of “chits” - laminated numbers meant to be put into cups (we used Dixie Cups with the name of the die written on it), shaken, and a random number pulled out without looking. It was meant to introduce new players to the game, so it was a trimmed down version. Races were human, elf, dwarf, and halfling, and classes were fighter, cleric, magic-user, and thief. The box only included rules for going up to 3rd level, with the intention that players would then graduate into AD&D. This is where I joined, with the old blue cover box set and In Search of the Unknown, before Keep on the Borderlands even existed.

AD&D was the game in its full glory. Along with the races I mention above, we got half-elves, half-orcs, and gnomes. The four basic classes also had sub-classes, like paladin and ranger for the fighter, druid for the cleric, illusionist for the wizard, and assassin for the thief. There were rules for multi-classing, as well as “Dual-classing”, a sort of multi-class variation for humans only, which, when done in the correct combination, could yield the infamous bard...which didn’t actually yield any bard abilities until around level 13 or so.

This edition had 5 different saving throws for things like “Death Magic”, “Petrification & Polymorph”, “Spells”, and so on. It had the infamous Armor Class system that started at 10 and went down, so that having a -3 AC was very good!  It also had specific attack matricies for each class; you would literally look on a table to determine the number you needed to roll on a D20 based on your class, your level, and your opponent’s armor class. It was fun, but it was very complicated.

It also had some, frankly, shitty rules. There was gender disparity in terms of attributes, which my group totally ignored. Because the game designers wanted humans to be a competitive the game, and because non-humans had so many abilities and could multiclass, non-humans were severely limited in the levels they could achieve in most classes. In fact, some classes, such as monk and paladin, were restricted only to humans.

As the years went on, things got a bit muddled. It probably didn’t help that the rules in Basic D&D and AD&D didn’t perfectly line up. In D&D, the worst armor class was a 9. In AD&D, the worst armor class was a 10. All of this led to an overhaul, but not one considered a separate edition. AD&D mostly got new covers and new books, like the Wilderness Survival Guide and Dungeon Survival Guide, Monster Manual 2, and the Manual of the Planes. It got a number of new settings, too. In addition to the default Greyhawk setting, we got the Forgotten Realms setting for the first time, details of which had been appearing in Dragon Magazine for years, thanks to the prolific Ed Greenwood. We also, eventually, got the whole Dragonlance saga, which yielded the setting of Krynn.

In this new version, Basic D&D broke off into its own game system to some degree. Elf, Dwarf, and Halfling started being treated like classes rather than races, with specific abilities at different levels. Higher level characters could be created using progressive boxes - Expert, Companion, Master, and Immortal, each with its own boxed set and supported by Mystara, a completely different setting that got its own updates over the years. It was odd, because D&D essentially was competing for players with AD&D, and I remember arguments with friends over which version was better (I was firmly in the AD&D camp.)

In 1989, when I was in college, they finally brought forth 2nd edition D&D. This streamlined things a little. Armor Class still went down, but now attack rolls boiled into a single number called To Hit Armor Class 0, or THAC0. It made the whole process of figuring out what you needed to roll a bit less cumbersome, but it was still a bit awkward. The classes got a lot of overhaul, including making Bard its own core class. But what I remember best about 2nd edition was the boom in settings. This was the age of settings, and many beloved ones got started, including Dark Sun, Planescape, Ravenloft, and Spelljammer.

It was also the age of the “Complete Handbooks”. They brought out splatbooks about every class and race in the game, as well as books expanding several concepts for the DM, such as the Arms & Equipment Guide, the Castle Guide, and the Complete Book of Villains. There were also splatbooks about running D&D in historic periods, such as Ancient Rome, among the ancient Celts, or during the time of the Musketeers. The game got new covers for the rule books again, and a bunch of books about options started coming out. It was a boom time for books, but many people complained there was too much.

Without going too deep, TSR ended up in severe financial troubles. They declared bankruptcy, and there was real fear of the game going away. And then Wizards of the Coast (WotC) stepped in. They helped TSR get back onto its feet, and they helped produce some modules specifically engineered to help DM’s bring an end to their campaign...possibly even their whole campaign world...because something big was coming.

That something big was, of course, 3rd edition D&D. The game got majorly streamlined, and many sacred cows ended up as hamburger. AC finally started going up instead of down. Everything was refined to the “D20″ system we’ve been playing ever since. Races could be any class. There were no level or stat limits for anyone. After years of the game being forced into tight little boxes, it really felt like we could breathe. I had stopped playing D&D, but 3rd edition brought me back into the fold. I often say that 3E was made for the players who’d felt constricted and wanted more flexibility.

The trouble with 3E, and its successor 3.5, is that it was still a dense and difficult game for newcomers to get into. It’s been acknowledged that D&D essentially created many of the systems we see and know in other games - experience points, leveling up, hit points, etc. But trying to break into the experience for the first time was difficult. The look of 3E was gorgeous, but I understood that it must seem awfully daunting to someone who’d never played.

4E and its follow-up, Essentials, was an attempt to course correct that. They tried to make this edition incredibly friendly to new DMs, and, frankly, they succeeded. By creating player classes and monsters and magic-items that were all very plug and play, they did a great job of creating a game that someone who had never DMed before could dive into with no experience or mentor and start a game pretty easily. Encounter design was given a lot of ease, and there were promises of a robust online tool system that would help out with many of the more tedious aspects of playing.

There was also a lot of shake up in terms of choices. Suddenly, new classes and races were proliferating like crazy. We got the dragonborn, the tiefling, and the eladrin right in the core book, but we said good-bye to the gnome and half-orc at first. Suddenly the warlock was the new class everyone wanted to try. We got paragon paths and epic destinies that would really shape a character as time went on. The game went very tactical, as well, which some of us loved. The concept of rituals came into the game. Later books like the Player’s Handbook 2 and 3 gave us back gnomes and half-orcs, and also gave us minotaurs, wilden, shardminds, and githzerai. We got new psionic classes, brand new class concepts like the Runeknight and the Seeker...

But there was a tremendous backlash. People felt that, in making the game so very plug and play, they’d taken a ton of choice away from the players. Without the tools (which were never that robust, frankly), it was almost impossible to navigate the massive panoply of options. And, worse, it was harder and harder to develop encounters without those tools. People complained that the game had gone more tactical in order to sell miniatures and battlemats. Given that I have never played the game without miniatures and battlemats (since I started in the days when D&D was still half-wargame), I found this odd, but I also understand my style of play isn’t everyone’s.

The one argument I will never understand is that it didn’t “feel” like D&D, or it was somehow ONLY a tactical game and not a role-playing game any more. Again, given that the original game didn’t even call itself a role-playing game, this felt odd. Personally, I roleplay no matter what game I’m playing. If I’m playing Monopoly, I’m roleplaying, doing voices, and pretending to be something I’m not. I honestly enjoyed 4E, and I know a lot of folks who did, too. A lot of it may simply come down to style of play. But I also enjoyed all the games that came before, including Pathfinder. To paraphrase the YouTube content creator The Dungeon Bastard, “Does your game have dungeons? Does it have dragons? Great. I wanna play.”

As a sidenote, in the months leading up to 4E’s release, a lot of internet videos were released by WotC emphasizing the nature of change and talking about differences in the rules. They also released some preview books showing the direction they were heading. WotC must have anticipated that people were going to find this edition very different indeed. They also cleverly brought in some very funny folks - Scott Kurtz from PVPOnline and Jerry Holkins & Mike Krahulik from Penny Arcade - and got them to play D&D for podcasting purposes. Looking back, this must’ve brought in a lot of listeners who might never have played D&D and given them a reason to try it out.

After its release, WotC clearly noted that missteps had been made, as this edition of the game was losing them players. They began work on what they referred to as D&D Next, and, this time, they did massive amounts of playtesting, some of which I participated in.

I don’t feel like I have to describe 5E to any of you, Dear Readers, as you could go to virtually any store and pick it up. I am a big fan of 5E’s simplicity and elegance, and I suspect this is the edition of D&D we’re going to have for some time to come, especially given its popularity. Given the effect of podcasts like Critical Role (and I might save an article on Critical Role’s importance to D&D until my next Freestyle article), D&D is likely more popular now than it’s ever been, with a much wider and more diverse audience than ever before.

I know I’m painting with broad strokes here, but I hope this was, at least, entertaining, and maybe you learned something, Gentle Readers. Until we next meet, may all your 20s be natural.

[lilikags]

ೃ‧₊› a b o u t  t h i s  p o s t° ➮ Pairing: Miya Atsumu x reader ➮ Oneshot ➮ Tags: fluff ➮ Word Count: 2182

A/N: This is for @serowotonin​! [for Luna’s Valentines Day collab] Ik I said I was doing Atsumu bc “I was bored” but I always say “imagine being bored” and truly, I haven’t been bored for so long. I forgot that this was for the collab for a fat moment then when you saw the preview I was like, “Wait- no- it’s a surprise.” 

Premise: You and Atsumu are cleaning out the apartment, when you find a few letters you thought you would never see again… 

“Oi, (y/n), look at what I found,” you heard Atsumu say, leaning over the contents of a drawer he had been sifting through. 

“What?” you walked over to see what he had found. The two of you were cleaning out the apartment, as you were going to be moving out soon. Atsumu had a habit of keeping things that connected him to an important memory of his, unless he wanted to forget it- and this was one of them. You didn’t know he kept them- actually, it did make sense of him to, but you had simply forgotten about it and you somehow expected the same for him. You looked down to see what he had in his hands, and your face literally went emotionless as you saw the letter in his hands. 

You really didn’t mind the letters, for the most part. Actually, they held dear to you. However, that first one… you were grateful for it, but you also remembered just how bad you wanted to buy a grave space and bury it for eternity back then... 

Miya Atsumu.

This was a dare. This is a love letter. For Valentines. Happy valentines day. If you have extra chocolate, send me some. 

Sincerest thanks, (y/n). 

Atsumu usually threw away the letters he received every Valentines. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude; it was just that there were too many letters for him to read (and reply to), so he usually just threw them out. Osamu often teased him for this; he boasted that he at least read his letters.

“Oi, ‘Samu, look at this one,” Atsumu called out to his brother. 

“What?” Osamu looked at him, with a face of disbelief. “Yer actually lookin’ at them?”

“Nah, not really, but this one’s hilarious,” Atsumu laughed. 

“Okay, not funny, keep yer lame humor to yourself.” 

----------------

“(y/n), truth or dare,” (b/f/n) asked. 

You smiled, “Dare.” 

“Hmmm… alright, send a love letter to Miya Atsumu- it has to be at least one line long.”

“I’m- okay then.” 

You brought out a piece of paper, wrote the first things that came to mind, and once you reached one line, you stopped. You folded the paper and grabbed whatever envelope you could find and sealed it with tape. The dare required actually giving the letter, much to your dismay, but it wasn’t like you could back down from a dare. After all, it was (b/f/n), and the nonstop teasing would definitely occur if you failed to complete the dare. 

Dearest (y/n), 

I did in fact receive your rather interesting letter, and I have decided to bring you some chocolate as you wished. I wish you, as well, a very happy valentine’s day this year.

Most sincerely, Atsumu. 

Atsumu was intrigued enough to write a reply; in fact, he decided to write in the most formal way possible. He knew from the letter that you were either a tsundere or someone who was actually dared to do so, and decided that it would be fun entertainment for the both of you. 

When you received the letter, you were surprised to see a reply. It was known he didn’t send out replies, yet you had received one. As you read it, you felt a need to reply; you’d simply feel bad if you didn’t. However, what was there to talk about? How the chocolates were good? He had stuck it on your first period desk, out in the open. And you also sincerely wondered what was with the overly formal tone. You do remember writing the most shitty letter you’ve ever written to him, and that volleyball-obsessed dude just writes something formal to you? Baffles the mind.

Well, then, if he was going to reply, you would too. 

Miya Atsumu,

Thanks for the chocolate- your fans make pretty good chocolate, I have to say. Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, ‘cause all ya focus on is just volleyball. Anyways, what was with the overly formal tone- ya like me or somethin’? Would be funny if ya did and I turned ya down. XD  

(y/n) 

You never really thought of Miya Atsumu, but this really sparked your interest. It was amusing, his reactions. It was definitely something you didn’t expect- you actually didn’t expect a reply at all. The reply you received was definitely out of the ordinary as well, one you never thought a hotshot volleyball player would write. It seemed he was interested in you in some ways- and you as well. 

(y/n),

Pfffft, you think I might like ya? I just thought yer letter was interestin’, that’s all. Ya really think I can’t make chocolate? Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, I’ll show you. I make you chocolate myself and we’ll see how it tastes. Just you watch, I’ll make ya say I make the best chocolate ever! 

Atsumu. 

You saw that in your shoe locker the next morning- and everyone saw it. You were beginning to regret actually replying to him, but there was no backing out now. (b/f/n) really hit the goal here, for her. People were probably talking about it. It’s always some event that involves romance that catches everyone’s eye. And since it was just after valentine’s, everyone would automatically assume it was a love letter. In reality, it was simply a little bit of playful banter. 

You wondered if people actually knew who it was. You hoped not; it would gather way too much attention for your liking. You’d have an entire fanclub after you, and it was definitely (b/f/n)’s fault that you got into this entire mess. You had absolutely no idea if anyone saw him slip that into your shoe locker, since it had probably been there for a good hour or so before you and most of the other students got there. In any case, there was nothing you could do about people knowing things they already know, so you headed onto class. It was exam week, and you sighed; it would be a long day. 

When you arrived at homeroom, you were not-so-pleasantly surprised with what you found at your desk. You just wanted a quiet day; go to school, take the tests, and get out so you could relax at home. But no, you just had to see this and you knew there was a thing called rumors you had to deal with. Well, you could just be like “whatever” and not care, but you definitely knew who’d be after you, for real. Atsumu’s fanbase was quite scary, and definitely large- a group of people one would regret messing with. 

“Ugh- what am I going to do with this chocolate now, he gave me a lot yesterday…” 

“(y/n)! Oiiii, you got chocolate?! From who from who-”

“(b/f/n), if you say a word, you are going to be dead to me.”

“...” she looked away, but then turned to you again and whispered in your ear. “So, Miya Atsumu, who has a fanbase, likes you.” 

“I’m- no-”

“But what I’m seeing says otherwise?”

“Ugh, you’re coming to my house and you are going to pay for that dare.” 

“Oh ho ho, seems like I started something…” “Bet you did.”

Pisshead Atsumu

LMAO bet ya didn’t make the chocolate, yer terrible at lying <///3 seen this chocolate before. And like wtf you put a box of chocolate on my desk with YOUR NAME on it. Ya know that people will do a thing called assuming things, right? Smh, think before you act. Anyways, I’m counting on ya to fix up this mess.

(y/n)

When you finished class, the first thing you did was write the note. You were absolutely paranoid with this mess, and you were going to have Atsumu fix it. Yes, you did technically initiate contact first, but that was (b/f/n)’s fault and this could’ve avoided this if he hadn’t pulled off a whole stunt. 

It was already around 6 when he saw the note. A small smirk filled his expression, he was so sure that he would be able to get a good reaction out of (y/n). It was written on scrap paper, the back of a phys. ed worksheet. You wrote it in a rush, very obviously. That wasn’t really what caught his attention though; he was puzzled as to how he would fix this. Tell his fans to fuck off? Osamu would tease him for eternity.

“Oi, what’cha starin’ at?” he heard Osamu nag. “Mom’s waitin’ for us for dinner.”

“Hey, ‘Samu…  ya know how to fix this?” 

“... ARE YOU AN IDIOT- YOU ARE AN IDIOT.”

“I AM NOT! YOU ARE THE IDIOT HERE!” 

“SAYS THE ONE WHO GOT INTO A MESS LIKE THIS!” 

“Oi, ya shouldn’t be fightin’ at this hour,” the two heard Kita say, as he gave them a certain look. “... ‘m sorry…” the twins apologized.

Even after a fulfilling dinner made by their mother and a nice, hot shower, Atsumu still couldn’t think of a solution. Osamu almost snitched on him, but he decided that there was enough on their mom’s plate of problems at the moment. 

“What if ya said you were dating?” Osamu offered. 

“HAH?! ARE YA INSANE?!” Atsumu yelled at him.

“That would explain what happened at valentine’s.” 

“But there’s nothin’ between us-”

“Yer fanclub wouldn’t really believe anythin’ else.”

“Yeah…” 

(y/n),

Can we meet when practice ends at 6 on Thursday?

M. Atsumu.

“... I’m- Is he just going to apologize then run away? Tch.” you sighed. You had the idea that Miya Atsumu was overconfident and carefree, but not to this extent. The least he could do was fix this- he had power over his fandom and what people said about him, unlike you. You had to go, it wasn’t like you really had much of a choice if you wanted to talk it out and fix it. 

“Hey, (y/n) are you and Atsumu dating?” one of your classmates asked, and a bunch of others hovered around the table, waiting to hear a response. (b/f/n) had told you rumors had spread around the entire school; you figured that would’ve happened. Any topic related to the twins spread like wildfire, especially the blonde-haired one. 

“... Can you not try to pry into my private life?” you replied, which you instantly realized was exactly a wrong answer to give. This implied that you were in fact dating Atsumu secretly, and you just made your life 10x worse. You figured you should just tell everyone what had happened, then the blame would be on (b/f/n)- it should preferably be placed on Atsumu, since he started it, really. 

When you met him at 6pm, you expected no contribution from him. Instead, you were met with a solid plan for something you weren’t really happy about, but it seemed the easiest to convince the public of a story they put out. 

“(y/n)... let’s tell them that we’re dating.”

“Hmm… well, they already think that…”

“I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking…” “It’s fine. All we can do is move forward, I guess.”

“Yeah… ‘Samu gave me this solution; it’s all I have, I’m sorry if it’s-”

“It’s fine. Let’s go through with it. Just protect me from the crazy fangirls; that’s all I want.”

“Ya.” 

“And we’ll need to put together a coherent story; what’s yer number?” 

“Ahaha, seriously, maybe (b/f/n)’s a prophet. She told me that she was aiming for somethin’ to happen between us,” you commented, remembering what happened years and years ago. 

“Ya were just so unnecessarily worried about the fangirls,” Atsumu mentioned. 

“Oi! Yer fangirls were hella scary back then…” 

That night, you stayed up coming up with a story, which ended with the two of you breaking up so that you could go on your separate ways again. However, the story didn’t last too long, as (b/f/n)’s parent’s investigations went a little too far and spread the truth a little too much. (b/f/n) is one thing, but you had almost forgotten her parents were another, seriously. They’d been a little busy over the last few years, thus the lack of investigations of local drama, but they had been doing so for decades, what could you expect from them? 

Nothing was Atsumu’s fault to the fanclub, unless he seriously convinced them that it was. You were guilty until proven innocent. Unbeknownst to you until after, he gave them a whole (to be honest, not-so-great) speech on how he kind of went too far with the joke, but also placed the blame on everyone else for assuming things. People were absolutely ridiculous; their ideas and their insane imagination should learn that the left side of the brain exists too. 

“Funny how we met again after college, after all that time.”

“Ya… a real wonder” 

Another A/N: OMG THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR ‘TSUMU FORGIVE ME IF I WROTE HIM LIKE, WRONG IN THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

『••✎••』 Extra Info * ˚ ✦ ⇢ If you would like to read some of my other works, find them here! * ˚ ✦ ⇢ Taglist: @serowotonin​ @luna-la-ley​ // send me an ask if you would like to be added!

[nightwingshero]

Your opinion on the far cry series as a whole?

Ooooh, that’s a good one. So like…when it comes to Ubisoft games, my favorite series is Assassin’s Creed, to be very honest. If I had to pick between the two, it would be AC, always. Not saying that Far Cry is bad, not at all. I like first person shooters, and most of the time, I’m up to date and ready to buy the next Call of Duty that comes out. Now, I haven’t played every Far Cry game, only: Far Cry 3, Far Cry 4, Primal, Far Cry 5, and New Dawn. Which…I guess is a decent amount, but I’ve only ever beaten Far Cry 5. And I’m not sure why, because I genuinely enjoy FC3 and 4, but I just haven’t gotten around to beating either one of them. And honestly that’s just me as a gamer, my attention span is…yikes.

Now…as much as I love Far Cry 5, I do have Certain Opinions, and maybe it’s more aimed at the fandom in general rather than the game itself, but it’s just…I feel like the FC5 game is a great balance of good gameplay, great characters and plot, while also having a shit ton of chaotic content. I fell in love with the game because of the symbolism and because honestly, I could see something like this happening in rural Montana. It’s very ‘Merica, which I’m not personally all about but growing up here, I’ve experienced crazy stuff that made some of the stupid stuff realistic. But that being said I think…it’s very easy to get so lost in the symbolism with religion and other things within the game that we forget what the game is actually about, to the point that I wonder if we’ve played the same game. Now, I’m not saying there aren’t things in there to read into or anything like that, I like the messages I picked up on, we all have our own little things that we see and it helps us connect and fall in love with the game. But it becomes a point where it’s not even about the game anymore. And I’m not attacking anyone, I like to celebrate everyone’s creativity the best I can, and I don’t want this to seem that I’m attacking beliefs that I don’t align myself with. Not at all. I just feel there are parts that maybe are overhyped and sometimes it can be difficult to enjoy the content. I like Far Cry 5 for what it is and what it gave me, nothing more and nothing less.

Which leads me to New Dawn. I have SUCH a bone to pick with this game. Which, I think we can at least all agree should have been a DLC at best. A shitty one, but a DLC nonetheless. The fact that this is a stand alone had me so disappointed in Ubisoft, when I had such high hopes after getting nothing by golden content from the more recent games I had played (Odyssey and Far Cry 5). I expected an amazing game and a beautiful continuation. I played FC5 a little later, not when it first came out, because I hadn’t really ventured into Far Cry territory just yet. So when I beat FC5, I immediately bought New Dawn. And it was just such a let down. I think all of us wanted more Seed and Eden’s Gate content. I have a tendency to focus on certain things in a game when I’m really excited about it, and Eden’s Gate is the only reason I bought the game. So, story alone, it’s a huge disappointment. I fully believe that whatever content came worth the Far Cry 6 (which I haven’t played, mind you) should have been included with New Dawn. I genuinely believe we were robbed of that so Ubisoft could make more money. Now, let’s talk about gameplay. If I can’t get comfortable with the gameplay of a game, I won’t play it. And I’ve stopped playing it. To the point I won’t go back to it. Because it’s just…it’s ridiculous. The amount of grinding is just…it’s insane and it’s extremely difficult—at least it is to me. And we have to fight off these highwaymen that I personally want nothing to do with…in my personal opinion, if you’re going to make a sequel, make sure what you’re doing makes sense and that it actually ties in better with the predecessor, because yikes. Now, again, it’s my personal opinion. The highwaymen shouldn’t have been a thing, the New Eden’s plot line should have been some sort of DLC, and don’t fix something that’s not broke (ie gameplay).

Now, I liked Primal, though it did seem like a grind. I didn’t get too far into it, so I can really form a solid opinion that exceeds my “I like the idea of it and I could see it being great”. And whether or not that’s true is left to be seen for when I actually play more of it. I did play some Far Cry 3 and 4, and I can honestly say that they’re my favorite villains. I love crazy and chaotic characters. Joseph Seed is great with his Cult Charisma, but there’s a reason John Seed was my favorite sibling (and from the gifs I’ve seen, I truly despise what they did to his character in the FC6 DLC). Anyway, Vaas is HILARIOUS to me, and he’s the main reason I even started FC3. The gameplay took me a bit to get used to, but honestly, it’s not so bad. I think it held up really well and can definitely be a game to play again. I don’t know why, but I had a harder time in FC4, though I think I prefer Min over all others, and I don’t really know why. I didn’t get all that far in it, but he was a villain that I wanted to have more screen time with. I think a lot of it had to do with his opening scene. But the gameplay is great and the scenery is just GORGEOUS. I wish I had the attention span to focus more on it, but I did genuinely love the moments I did play.

[janiedean]

I came from a country where being gay is not illegal but still very badly seen so what Eric did to me came off as spoiled and privileged. Nigerian men risk their lives every time they try to live and he just comes on a holiday risk for nothing and get a high out of it like... I get he is a poc in uk so racism but he is still privileged in respect to Nigerian living there and it felt like when tourists do all they want and use foreign countries as a eat pray love playground for adrenaline and Deep Moments

thanks for having partially confirmed to me one thing i didn’t quite know how to articulate and again i don’t… right with the premise that ofc not being poc and/or lgbt myself so my opinion is worth what it’s worth i felt like not only it made eric come off as privileged and not quite realizing it - or if it was the target then it wasn’t well written nor did it come across well - the points that imvho are not well put in this entire narrative are the following

let’s say one target was ‘we want eric to reconnect with the nigerian part of his heritage and realize that being gay in the uk is a privileged position in comparison to being gay in nigeria’: there is a single moment where he feels unsafe on the car but then he goes into the bar and it was played as… like THRILLING WILL WE GET CAUGHT OR NOT but i didn’t perceive that he felt in danger or like he realized exactly what he was facing

the whole family reconnection part was like… his mom lied about her husband bc family peace and kind of forces him to not be out bc she fears for his safety so like now unless i remember wrong eric has been out/never felt like he didn’t have to be since the show started so it should have a) given him insight re how it feels to NOT being able to be out b) let his mom connect with him on having to lie abt your significant other part c) concluded with at least a hint he could come out to nigerian family and like… point b) was more or less explored, c) was hinted bc he talked to his grandma abt adam but a) felt ABSOLUTELY missing because he comes back and everything he seems to gather from it is I WANT TO GO TO BARS BECAUSE I CAN? and most of all……. going through a) should have made him more sympathetic to adam’s struggles and instead it seemed like he deduced ‘oh since in nigeria it’s illegal then it makes no sense he’s taking so much time’ like…? it’s… a pretty self centered take to get out of this entire experience and if it was a check your privilege storyline then good but… it didn’t feel like that was how they framed honestly and why talking abt adam to the grandma if he’s gonna dump him???? 

now the eat pray love thing you mentioned is… i mean i felt like it was along those lines but as stated couldn’t be sure re my take but again my issue is with how they went at it, bc you CAN do that narrative if you clearly frame it as ‘we like eric and he’s a swell guy but he’s not free from that kinda behavior in light of the fact that living in the uk gives him automatic privilege wrt being out so we’re going to explore how he deals with it and it might be badly but then he learns from it and checks his privilege’ like it’s smth that can happen and everyone in this show has been shitty wrt smth at some point which is good bc it means everyone is written realistically… i’m not sure the narrative said THAT but it didn’t look like even the writers knew bc it was all over the place?? and i mean… i get that this show has realistic teenagers which means they can behave like petty assholes but like it was rushed, badly explained, not overt re wtf they wanted to do with this storyline and it’s not clear if eric even cares at the end?? and thats ooc anyway bc the eric we saw until this point isn’t… that callous or dismissive? and it never seemed to me like they wanted to write him as positive char that progressively gets less sympayhetic so honestly this entire plotline looks stupid

like the thing is at the end of it: - has eric reconnected to his nigerian heritage/found a way to balance it with his uk background? doesn’t seem to me like he did - has eric concluded anything re telling the nigerian side of his family that he’s out? no - has eric gained some actual insight from his experience that’s not ‘I want to go to bars because I can and I have no patience for someone who needs to take it slower’? doesn’t seem to me like he did - has eric realized that adam not being ready to tell his own mom stuff was a sort of parallel situation to his own mother not being ready to tell her mom stuff and like... if eric’s own mom lied about her partner to her family for years and still wasn’t ready to do it then why is giving adam a bit more time to tell his own mom especially given his less than stellar background re accepting himself and coming out such a hardship? no and we just don’t know basically this entire plotline could have gone a bunch of different places that were interesting/could have caused strong conflict/interesting storytelling but it didn’t do any of these things and fell back on like... cheap drama for the sake of it and honestly idt it was very sensitive wrt anything included in it which honestly strikes me as odd bc if sex ed ever did one thing right was treating sensitive subjects well without dancing around it or making things sugarcoated and still letting the characters not be cardboards so I’m very very perplexed about it and I just hope they plan to reveal wtf they wanted it to be next year because honestly I don’t know what it wanted to be and if they didn’t make it clear it’s not good writing - which until now they had in spades, therefore....

like, there’s nothing... narratively wrong in ‘I want to show that character X who faces racism and homophobia in the UK would have privilege wrt being able to be out/live his sexuality without shame in the UK and not in the country his family comes from and he has no idea because he hasn’t entertained that thought and he might come off as unpleasant or incapable of immediately getting it while that happens’, but the thing is that in this specific narrative it’s not clear whether eric got it or if he didn’t bc teenagers are shallow and don’t get it (which..... I mean the teens in this show aren’t exactly shallow like that so that doesn’t really hold up) or if he’s having trouble processing it or if the trip shook his entire world (didn’t seem like it) so like... I should hope next season it’s addressed what they want this thing to be because honestly idk and I don’t particularly like the direction it took

this adding that anyway again the way they broke eric and adam off like that makes the whole S2 finale look sour and eric come off like an asshole also wrt rahim because I mean, one thing is ‘eric has been in love with adam/has liked adam best all along but adam wasn’t around and he liked rahim so he gave it a shot but rahim wasn’t it for him so when adam does the great love gesture for him in front of everyone he decides to leave rahim for him’ because like that sucked for rahim anyway but it also wouldn’t have been fair to him to not break it off if eric had stronger feelings for someone else (and that was clear from the get-go) and then when they get together eric puts effort in it and they go places, one thing is ‘all of that happens but then the moment they aren’t on the exact same page and/or eric realizes he doesn’t want to put the necessary effort into respecting the time adam needs to handle his things even when adam forgives him and says he’ll try to get on track with him’ and so the solution is nah let’s break up instead of putting some work into it when ngl adam has been doing 85% of that this season................. it makes him look like the moment there’s an obstacle to a relationship he’s in or his partner isn’t on the same wavelength he’d just rather break it off first instead of giving it a go and that’s not a really great look on him and as stated it makes the thing with rahim look really bad because again one thing is leaving someone you like for someone who feels like is the love of your life and another thing is leaving someone you like for someone who loves you that much but then you’ll leave them too because..... he needs time to talk to his mother and he’s not ready to be fully out when he comes from repressingyourfeelingsinternalizedhomobiphobia central? like........ dunno but it just feels sour and like nothing one would expect out of eric as he was written/developed until now so I’mma just wait to see what they do next season but it’s just not good writing all around