#the entire kingdom would know im fucking them

[mithrifer]

deleted the string of reblogs from this because they were dumb and unnecessary additions; i was thinking about making a tulpa like this today. like i was legit thinking about it. not this scenario specifically, but it's also true that i'd absolutely be the king in this scenario, and have lots of shirtless knights in my castle. they would also do the chores because half naked men in helmets folding clothes is hot. knight-maids, maybe. but like, a boy maid.

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

[puppppppppy]

Atla live action 😐

[fadewalking]

this game is stupid hard.

[shwarmii]

i never realized Viktor was missing from Disenchanted Fashions before (or at least tumblr isnt showing him) and i am having so much fun with that bit of freedom towards his wardrobe jfc

[hubristicassholefight]

Swordswoman showdown FINALS

Hornet (Hollow Knight) vs Xena (Xena: Warrior Princess)

(Better here in a "preferred character" sense, not "who would win in a fight")

Propaganda below cut

Hornet

Technically its not a sword but she wields a needle in a setting where swords do not exist and she wields it in an exceedingly swordlike fashion so. She counts; Girlboss demigoddess spider lady. She's been protecting an entire kingdom for longer than many of the other characters have been alive. She systematically kills her siblings for being too weak. She's simply the best.

#im pretty sure hornet can beat like. anyone in a fight.#have you ever fought hornet#its so fucking hard getting past her every time i play hk i go literally insane.

#i remember getting stuck on the first hornet fight on mt first play through and bring likr#''omg the boss fights in this are so hard!!!''#like what. you're not even half way through what are you talking about#you can't even DASH honey. you don't know what's diffcult or not in this game.

So, SPOILERS

but I feel like the "she systematically kills her siblings" part needs a little clarification. See, one of her siblings was used as a living prison for an angry god and that uh. Didn't work out for the sibling in question or anyone else.

This account is itself heavily abbreviated but it's likely that any other sibling Hornet encounters will be trying to take over as the god's new prison. She appears to challenge any sibling she sees to battle, in order to test their resolve against herself and her needle - would they actually have a chance against that god?

We never actually see her kill any siblings, but she does quite pointedly tell one of them that (to paraphrase) "My needle is lethal and I would feel no sadness in a weakling's demise."

Feels like a relevant quote. In any case, if they can't beat Hornet, it seems like her needle would be a far more merciful end than what the god would grant.

Anyway, a bit of additional material for @swordswomanshowdown :

As is the case for any cool swordswoman, it's not just her sword that's lethal, it's her with it. And Hornet's needle was custom made for her - the creators have said that, while other needles exist, hers was made specifically for her to wield, and its construction allows her to use her spider silk better in combat.

And another thing that I think makes her a good swordswoman: she's actually pretty thoughtful about how she uses it. There's a least one instance where she tries to warn someone off before fighting them! At the same time, when she does fight, she seems to enjoy it - during her boss battles, you can hear her laugh sometimes, as if exhiliarated. She's really got it all, as a swordswoman!!!

#HORNET SWEEP CMON PLEEEEEEASE#shes gay. shes the only sibling with a gender. shes a spider named HORNET. look like croissant. whats not to like

Xena

Warrior Princess

She wields a sword and chakram. Just had to submit a biconic swordswoman.

i love her. she made me gay as a kid. Anyway, her weapon of choice is her sword, she is obviously very good with it

#unfortunately i have to choose and i have to choose xena#a) utena had no warcry. b) xena fought gods. c) xena has kickass goofy comic book combat which is my favorite

xena didn’t just fight gods. she fucked up a girl’s life so bad that she (calisto) devoted her entire being to destroying everything that xena loved that ended up with calisto becoming a god in order to destroy xena, which didnt work because xena entombed her in lava. and then when xena and gabrielle encountered calisto in the (christian) afterlife (different from the greek one which they also fought her in), calisto dragged gabrielle to hell so xena became an archangel in order to save gabrielle and then sacrificed herself in order to undo all the harm that she did in calisto’s life and then when not!jesus (played by timothy omundson) revives xena and gabrielle, calisto impregnates xena with the reincarnation of calisto’s soul in order to end the cycle of hate. xena doesnt just fight gods. she creates and destroys them

#this isnt even mentioning her fighting julius ceasar several times#telling brutus that caesar is not his friend#xena and gabrielle’s souls reincarnating across centuries in order to kick ass and fall in love all over again#or the time xena became a god but tbh that ep is kinda ‘uhhhhh…..’ even if they did hire a consultant for it

#I think everyone here knows to vote for Xena. I think a couple people here might have some propaganda for Xena saved already#everyone remember that Xena/Gabrielle is CANON and that's a pretty big deal also#(does anyone have that Xena Loves Trans People interview around because that would also make good propaganda)

I love Xena ❤️ 😍 💖 ❣️

[officialspec]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

first off i hate this ask and i think youre a freak. in any other world i wouldve blocked you for this but unfortunately for both of us i actually like this type of philosophy. dont send this shit to anyone else though

i dont think its right to compare human sexuality to the same thing in animals, to get that out of the way. im sure until a certain point it comes from the same biological impulses, but human beings have way more complicated social structures and reasons for coupling that just do not exist in other animals. our social behaviours are what make us unique in the animal kingdom and that definitely extends to gender and sexuality. so theres that

people love to tout 'gender is a social construct' around like its a criticism in and of itself, which i think betrays a misunderstanding about social constructs in general. theyre the foundations we build language on to better understand each other, and affected by a whole host of cultural and historical factors. just because theyre subjective and complicated doesnt mean they arent real. in terms of the effect they have on peoples lives they may be the most real thing that exists

for example, 'kindness' is a social construct. the definition and ways it is enacted differ greatly across personal and cultural lines. but no one would ever suggest a world where kindness doesnt exist or loses meaning, because its an essential part of the way we interact with each other (in the same way i dont really see a world where gender entirely ceases to exist, mainly just one where people have more fun with it. im not a psychic though so who knows)

similarly, sexuality in humans is another social construct. i think the driving biological forces behind it are very real, but the labels people attach to those impulses are subjective attempts to express their inner world to the people around them if that makes sense. and those same biological impulses are ALSO subject to social ideas of gender, because those ideas are established at birth and reinforced over a persons entire lifetime

to use myself as an example, im a gay trans man. ive identified as other things in the past, because i was trying to pick apart feelings i had and express them to others in an attempt to find community. my identity might change as i get older and experience new things, or it might not. i identify as gay because im not attracted to the social concept of women, and someone i would otherwise be attracted to might lose all appeal after i find out they fall under that concept (this has happened before w transfems pre and post coming out lol)

of course, the real REAL answer to this is that trying to give queer identities rigid and objective definitions is a fools errand, and also lame as fuck. someone might identify as gay and be more attracted to general masculinity than men as a social category, maybe they fool around with a couple of butch women without considering themself any less gay. two otherwise identical people might be a butch lesbian and a gay trans man without either of those identities coming into conflict. they might even be the same person at different times of the week

the labels people choose to use are communication tools, not objective signifiers. if you dont understand them, they probably arent talking to you

social constructs are everything. we as humans have the unique ability to interpret our own messy desires and impulses into words that other people can use to form an idea of someone else in their mind. its how we build connections, and of course it isnt perfect because trying to squeeze someones entire personal history and the centuries of context that defined it into a handful of syllables is going to leave some room for error. but its all we have, yknow? so we keep trying. and i think thats much more human than any imposed objective 'truth' could ever be

tldr we live in a society dipshit. get with it

[thelov3lybookworm]

I Am Forever Yours (part 3)

Day 6: Reputation

Summary: They assumed.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1092

Warnings: snobby, jealous ladies trynna bully yn but yn is a badass 😏, i think kinda oc lucien cus he hasnt fucked around at all heheheeheheheheh

A/n: look i just find people who wait till marriage to have intimate relations to be adorable and neat 🥹

(its me im neat and my future husband better be too 🤭)

edit: if you saw me edit the last line to add in a dialogue no u didnt 😇

@lucienweekofficial

ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Y/n knew there were quite a few ladies who would kill to be in her place. After all, becoming the bride of one of the princes was no small matter. Especially when said prince was the most charming gentleman the kingdom had ever seen.

Royal and elite families, even from neighbouring kingdoms, as well as more potential brides had all been invited to the wedding. And where there was a wedding, there was a gathering of the ladies. And where there were ladies gathered, there were rumours spreading.

And Y/n found herself in such a setting the night before her wedding, and the topic of discussion, unfortunately, was her husband.

"Did you know he lives amongst the poor?"

"I cannot fathom why he would do that."

"Does he not get to spend like his brothers?"

"Poor him. I heard he might be a bastard child, and that is why he’s always left out of things."

Y/n heaved a frustrated sigh. From the past hour, she had been sitting here courtesy of her mother’s scoldings on propriety and etiquette, and if she left in the middle of the tea party after dinner it would be disrespectful. That the ladies would think marrying a prince got to her head and she thinks them beneath her.

One of the younger ladies’s giggles caught Y/n’s attention, and she turned to look at what was so funny.

"You know, there are rumours that he has fire in his veins."

High pitched giggles followed that statement, and Y/n’s cheeks burned from the implications in that statement.

Am I being too dirty minded?

But the next second, her worries were blown away by the words of an entirely too smug lady who sat closer to Y/n. "Oh, believe me, he does."

The others in their little group gasped, beginning to hound her for information.

"Did you have him in your bed?"

Y/n clenched her jaw just imagining such an erotic scene, pulse spiking.

"Oh no, I am not so fortunate. But I have surely dreamed about it and heard from others."

It gave Y/n little peace knowing that even though he might not have slept with others, people drooled over him still. She wanted to chide herself for having such thoughts, considering she had only met Lucien at that ball a month ago and was not even married yet.

But not for long, she reminded herself. The wedding would be tomorrow, and then she would have all rights to be possessive over him.

"Lady Oak, you are far too lucky. How did you even get him to agree to your proposal?"

Y/n blinked, meeting the eyes of the lady who grinned at her fiendishly. Her eyes narrowed.

Her name must be husband stealer or something.

She snorted at her own thoughts when another lady who looked younger than her piped up.

"Is it because your father is the advisor and the king forced him?"

Y/n fisted her hand, smiling sweetly. "Oh no, quite the opposite actually."

Husband-stealer laughed. "Oh, so prince Lucien asked your father for your hand? Can’t be, for he has been known to reject proposals left and right."

"Oh, did he reject your proposal too?"

Y/n leaned back in her cushioned chair, innocently gazing at husband-stealer as colour darkened her face, anger evident in every part of her body.

"That does not matter. He does not seem the type to stay with one partner forever anyways."

"You do not have to worry about his betrayals for you are not the one going to be affected by it."

Husband-stealer stood abruptly, glaring at Y/n for a moment before announcing she was going to retire to her room to her companions who did not bother to wish her back and focused on Y/n.

Another win, Y/n thought with a smirk.

"When did you meet him?"

"Last month during the ball he approached me, and when I told him to basically leave me alone, he asked for my hand in marriage. My father said yes."

"And you had no problem?"

Y/n’s smile turned genuine thinking about Lucien stalking up to her father and talking to him with his usual charm. She remembered very vividly how her father’s eyes had widened and he had stuttered through a response, his lips spreading in a grin.

"No. I had only seen him that day and I knew he would be the best suitor. Moreover, I trusted my father’s judgement."

The younger girls sighed in wonder, their eyes glazing over as they themselves imagined themself in her position.

Hiding her grin, Y/n stood, bidding them goodbye before making ehr way to her own bridal suite, anticipation building in her gut.

Tomorrow.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Lady Oak, you are far too lucky. How did you even get him to agree to your proposal?

Somehow, after a whole day had passed, after the wedding officiant had pronounced Lucien and Y/n husband and wife, after the reception and dinner party, husband-stealers’ words came back to Y/n.

Was she not right for Lucien? Had he made a mistake? Would he doubt their marriage just as the ladies had?

"Y/n?"

She turned to her new husband, who grinned at her, holding open the door to their bed chamber. She tried to smile back, but of course, even under the dim lighting of the corridor, Lucien saw it.

"Did something happen?"

Y/n paused, wondering if she should tell him what she’d heard.

"It’s just… some ladies were talking about you last night." His brows furrowed and he nodded at her to continue. "They said you would… betray me."

Understanding dawned on his eyes, and he reached out to touch Y/n’s cheek. "You do not have to worry about that. I’d rather cut my own di- private parts off than be with someone that is not my lawfully wedded wife."

Y/n blushed. How could she ever have even given thought to husband-stealer’s words? They were just that. Words.

"Thank you."

He rolled his eyes. "Do not thank me for common human decency." He paused, then- "May I kiss you?"

Y/n’s breath hitched. "I’ve never-"

"Neither have I."

Y/n’s eyes widened. "But- but they said-"

"They assumed."

Y/n closed her mouth with a snap.

"I always thought being loyal to your future partner had a certain romantic side to it. So? May I kiss you now?"

"I- yes but I do not know how to-"

He kissed her.

"I am forever yours."

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Permanent Taglist: @berryzxx @sarawritestories @milswrites @throneofsmut

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@mellowmusings

Lucien Vanserra Taglist: @mirandasidefics @tele86

[averagevamptboy]

a prince x court best friend drabble i whipped up for mutual at 1am but got too invested...

all the stereotypical prince shit— it's so terrible that you’ve always gotten everything you wanted, the whole kingdom at your feet, lines of people who want to date you and inherit the kingdom with you someday. but they don’t know you’re a little faggot, and i make no errors in reminding you that every time that i’m making you whine for more.

this time, i've been invited for dinner, and i sit across from you alongside our parents. they discuss some sort of proposal and upcoming banquets. and i don’t look at you, just stifling a smirk as i stare at my plate. 

then, we excuse ourselves quietly as our plates are taken, and we head into the library, since i’m here to help with your lessons today. though we’re about the same age, your coddling in the castle leaves you clueless in skilled subjects, so your parents have so kindly asked me as your best friend to help out. 

but the moment we step into the library study, you’re shuffling onto the wooden chair beside mine, sitting far too close for “just friends”, and i ignore how your knees are practically facing my direction and nudging against my thighs as i settle onto my chair. your entire body faces mine as i open the textbooks casually and glance at you with furrowed brows. i pick up a pen and scribble on the corner, then look at you again.

there’s a kind of lustful longing in your gaze immediately, and i can’t hold back my laughter.

   “What?” i’m trying to quieten my laughter, since we are *meant* to be studying after all. you’re just staring at me blankly, lustfully, so my laughter dies out and i go back to reading over the textbook, and i underline a couple words, then turn to you again. you’re still staring blankly so i quirk my eyebrows again. you’re making no effort whatsoever to not stare at my lips, so i sigh.

“Yeah?” you say blankly, starting to smile hazily, not looking away. it’s honestly frustrating, how nothing else is on your mind besides fucking like rabbits in these useless study sessions. your entitlement to my new “services��� to you are only heightened by the walks through the gardens and occasionally the forests that were marred by repeatedly fucking.

i cave in, but i don’t initiate anything, waiting till your hand rests on my thigh shyly, and i eye the doorway quietly, then look at you with a brief nod.

we both stand up, and you’re clumsily, enthusiastically unhooking the cellar trapdoor, and i’m grabbing the candle holder, and i’m following you down the stairs, taking in the musty scent of books and not-so-dusty-anymore table by the numerous bookshelves.

it’s way darker down here, not necessarily unpleasant, but its safe, and easier to hide any suspicious activity. i look at you, and you’re already sitting legs spread on the table, still fully clothed. i stare at you and start to laugh.

“The fuck, Prince M-” i begin, but you cut me off angrily.

“i didn’t say you could call me that!” you retort, annoyed your *dearest companion* would refer to you so formally. i roll my eyes, because i know better, i know you love it. 

you won’t admit it, but i see the way your eyes glint as i say that, and the light bulge of your tdick through your tight pants, and the warmth in your cheeks. 

before i know it, im already all over you, mouthing at your neck, spit dribbling down you as i bite lightly, not leaving marks– as much as you yearn for them, knowing it’d disgust your family. i know better than to place you in danger, after all, you’re barely a prince of dignity when it comes to this, more comparable to a mere mutt. you’d be humping my leg at dinner if i didn’t know better than to shut off any attention to you besides in our time alone. 

i’m palming at your tdick through your trousers, letting you pant into my mouth, whining for me to go further. i simply dig my fingertips into your waist under your crisp shirt, telling you to shut up. you make a noise, and i press a little harder, annoyed. i focus on your sloppy kiss, adding what little rhythm i can, turning you into pliant mush under my hands.

i pull apart, watching your red face, and i grin. 

“What does my prince want now, hm?” i ask, running my hand along your back gently, watching you revel in your title. 

“Take off your shirt. And those. And I want mine off.” you command. i fucking hate when you do that, prick. i’ll take it for now though. I’ll let it slide, i’ll let you talk your talk for now.

“Watch your tone, sir.” i mutter, but i comply, obeying your wishes, stripping off confidently. i’m not necessarily complaining though. i take off my shirt and hang it over the bookshelf and do the same with my trousers, and i stare at you.

“Like this, Prince?” i ask. you nod cheerfully, no thoughts but lust available to you. i grin, and press a kiss to your jaw as i unbuckle your belt, and lift your hips slightly to slide off your trousers. they’re tossed aside as i kiss down your neck. 

it’s a blur as i kiss along your happy trail, fingers tracing your hips, and i watch your eyes go fuzzy as i move my fingers to touch you through your boxers.

“Sir? How’s this, Prince?” i question, teasing this time as i admire the way your lips move to say words, but nothing comes out. i take it as an invitation to slip off your boxers and kneel before you. i start to collect your wetness with my tongue, enjoying the expression on your face as i edge closer to your tdick. there’s not even a speck of conceit in you anymore, just blissed out and your hands tangled in my hair pushing me closer to where you desperately want me. 

i’ll let you have this for now, but i promise myself internally that next time, i’ll fuck not just your conceit out, but every ounce of your self-respect and dignity

@pillowprince-playroom

[dreamsy990]

(video essayist voice) kingdom hearts is-

so, kh1. its been. a little while since i played. so forgive me if the game isnt exactly fresh in my mind. theres maybe gonna be errors so please bear with me im trying my best.

this is probably the kh game i have the least thoughts on, which feels weird considering its the first game in the series, but i just dont have a lot of strong opinions on it. its a pretty solid game!

starting where i normally do, the gameplay is probably the worst aspect of the game. they really thought platforming would be a fun thing in this game, but its just. not. the physics are so bad oh my god. if i ever have to jump in kh1 again itll be too soon. the difficulty is also a little bit all over the place. i played on standard (like i do with pretty much every game) and i would randomly jump from breezing through the game to trying a hundred times to fight one boss. most of the time its not the fun kind of difficult, just frustrating. the only time i can remember the difficulty being fun is the last riku fight in hollow bastion. i wish more of the game was the fun kind of hard. strangely enough, i know a lot of people struggled with the riku race and fight in the tutorial, but honestly those were easy for me? i got the fight first try, and the race second. idk, get on my level nerds i guess?

the worlds here are hit or miss. some of them (mostly the original ones, hollow bastion and traverse town specifically) are just amazing and i love them. others are. uh. lets say getting rid of the tarzan world was the best thing to come out of copyright law. also, this game is the only one where i skipped an entire world (sorry atlantica, you fucking suck). so theres that. the disney worlds are probably my least favorite aspect of the game

the story is alright! i dont have much to say about it other than i think that its mostly pretty good when i know whats going on, although both me AND one of my friends were so confused at the ending that we had to go call someone else to ask what the fuck happened and honestly i still dont really know? what the fuck is a kingdom hearts you ask? the world may never know.

this game and 2 are the only ones where maleficent is good. i miss when she was like a fun villain. she was just super into the housing market and i love that. what the fuck is she even doing in ddd? getting into bitcoin????

rikus great, i dont think i need to say that. hes such a freak and i love him. soras pretty good, shoutout to haley joel osman for doing a great job for being uh. 12??? at the time???????? hes great. i know a lot of people really like ansem sod but i just dont get the appeal? he never did anything for me. like hes fine i just didnt care about him whatsoever and anyone who says hes a better villain than like. xemnas. is wrong.

0/10 where is axel. ok but seriously uhhhhhh i give it a 7.7/10. its a solid, enjoyable game! not my favorite, but thats not to say i dislike it at all.

[betweenlands]

OLM!?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING OLM GOD DAMN FOOL ARCHITECTURE GORE MAKING GOD FAKING RAT OLD BASTARD GHOST OF AGOLITH BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING OLM

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT OLM I HATE THEM SO MUCH WHY DO THEY KEEP MAKING UP SHIT WHY DO THEY DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SAY SOMETHING ELSE ARE THEY DEAD ARE THEY A BASTARD OLM HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS THING'S FACE AND I KNOW THEY HAVE THE WORLDS SHITTIEST GRIN GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into skyblock kingdoms and god said olms waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with olm saying one word in person on voice in sbk not only will i close the tab i will delete the video out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times where they are mentioned or alive

i don't even know why i hate them so much. they fuck around but i am just mad because i am angy

they better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if theyre just some shithead god whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version ill go ham

BETTER have had the abyss make them a sealed ancient evil cuz if it didnt Im going to make it

paypal.com/IFuckingHateOlm

episodes not even about them. vaguely shown what is supposed to maybe be some architecture gore and i lose it

where the fuck is olm if theyre still alive im going to so deeply wish they werent

crusty old one

ill punch olm and their sad frail old god twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and they will disintegrate until all thats left is one final tombstone to be locked at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in neo galactic

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when olm died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the god who constantly made up shit for fun to be evil

[starry-bi-sky]

Oh man, I binged the first 20 episodes of The Princess's Jewels a few days ago after watching a few review videos on it because I had to see just how bad it actually was, and I've decided to talk more about it here.

For the entire spite-fueled four hours of reading, i kept stopping to take screenshots to send them to @the-navistar-carol and then talk about how stupid a lot of the plot points were. I jokingly called Ariana a jellyfish based on her hairstyle, and the nickname stuck after Gen said "yeah and she's like an actual jellyfish by how the trick you into getting closer because they're so pretty before paralyzing you with their stingers."

I'm putting this under a read more because, as normal, I write a lot.

We all know Jellyfish sucks, but what gets me the most is the wasted potential of the guys (among other things). They are all so! Interesting! And they befall the same fate as female harem members in that their backgrounds and personalities all get set to the wayside in favor of fawning over the MC. They all come from unique, diverse backgrounds that don't get touched up on at all. For example:

Why did Efrit wear a mask all the time when his older brother didn't? Why did he say that "he finally found the woman he was going to reveal his face to" to Abal after he met Jellyfish? Is it some kind of cultural thing for the soldiers and warriors of Xek to wear masks until they fall in love? That would explain why his brother has his face revealed, cuz he's not a warrior! Why is the second prince in charge of the country's army and not the king himself? Why did he STAY the general of the army after he fucked off to another kingdom to become the lover of a foreign state?

Why was Haun Baek taken in by the royal family? The flashback of the queen giving him a new name implies to me that he may have been a slave of some kind, which puts a lot of perspective on why so many people were against his rise to power and disliked him. He was mentioned to be a general and head of the security division of the king, but as far as chapter 21 goes, this has never been brought up again. He's the Harem Pretty Boy who does all the work in high society for Jellyfish.

Speaking of fighting -- when did Jellyfish get a thigh tattoo to summon her sword? What's the backstory behind that? It probably has something to do with the 'swordmaster' thing (which is ANOTHER thing) but when did she get it? Why was she even allowed to learn swordfighting if she came from a seemingly implied patriarchal society? More importantly -- why was everyone okay with this? Why is it only the off-screen "evil old advisors" that hate her doing this.

Are these evil old advisors in the room with us right now?

Why are Nell and his family werewolves? Where did their magic recorder ability come from? This was just seemingly a power that he had that came out of nowhere when they were looking into Benela and her family. From the videos I had assumed he was a poor family that rose into dukedom after the war, but apparently they've always been? Dukes? And the other advisors still see the family as a threat? On one hand I can see where they're coming from, but on the other I don't think the comic is portraying them as "threats" the way I think they are. Nell and his family are seemingly treated like they were commoners who suddenly rose into nobility, rather than pre-existing nobility that fell onto hard times.

I want to know more about Jade and the fact that he's from a holy house from an entirely different country -- i cannot believe Ariana got away with that btw. Like im not even touching the gross overreach of power that is her demanding a noble not of her kingdom to be castrated, but more so on the fact that she practically coerced and stole a descendant of a saint and faced?? No backlash from this? None whatsoever? The gods and the people just let her get away with it because oh, it's an honor for this snobby empirical princess to come in and steal one of their chosen saintly descendants all because his dad pissed her off?

Like I agree that the dad was a scumbag, but Ariana calling him out on it is like the pot calling the kettle black.

Also, I wish Benela and her family were a bigger threat than TJP claims they are. Like, this is apparently the emperor's favored concubine who stole the love of the emperor away from the empress and successfully murdered the crown prince without getting caught. She's apparently some master manipulator but Jellyfish faces no trouble thwarting her at every turn. So what is it? Is she a master manipulator or is she a dunce? Or is the emperor just an idiot who doesn't care about his sons because with the way he treats them, you'd think they were bastard children.

The banquet "queen heel syndrome" scene gets me especially so because that was a good fucking plan!

Benela's plan to reveal and shine a light on Jellyfish's harem and how it was negatively impacting her image and high society was a good plan! That was brilliant! Because it had basis of truth in it. I don't know if the queen heel syndrome thing was a false rumor, or something she deliberately fabricated -- the comic never actually goes out of it's way to disprove it. In fact, I'd argue the QHS thing is *backed* by it, because just a few chapters prior when we first meet Benela, there's a side comment made by a noble woman about how her daughter was chasing after some man she was infatuated with.

But what I do know is that Jellyfish has been disgraceful towards her fiancé and that she has been indulging in her harem. By all accounts, by the implied societal standards of Arbezela or Azkaban, Jellyfish is being a whore. I am not one for mindlessly slut-shaming, but sometimes slut-shaming IS okay if it has a narrative purpose. And it does here. And Jellyfish doesnt even disprove any of their arguments, in fact she does a 1st grade level deflection and instead goes right for insulting Bavilo's lack of marriage prospects, which wasn't what they were talking about at all.

I'd applaud the deflection if it wasn't Ariana doing it, and if it wasn't such a serious and valid accusation that Benela and her family were making.In any other manhwa, this would have worked. This would have damaged Ariana's reputation, and it should've had some actual consequences to it. Instead they completely skip over this plot because the author knows that Ariana has no defense, she can't talk or excuse her way out because regardless of the truth behind the Queen Heel Syndrome, the fact remains what she is doing is inherently shameful.

Like! I am so mad that their scheme didn't work, because it! Was! A! Good scheme! All the best lies have some part of the truth in it, and Ariana should not have been able to weasel herself out of that so easily. In fact, the fact that she did just makes the emperor look like an even bigger incompetent.

Wanna know how this ended? It ended with the emperor blowing up at Bavilo because Bavilo said that he "could make it to the top on his own without the help of talented subordinates" and the emperor perceived that as a slight against him because, apparently, Bavilo was claiming to be heir to the throne? When nowhere in that sentence did Bavilo even so much as say or imply such a thing?

and also--- WHY is it such a bad thing that he's claiming to be vying for the heir seat? It's empty! The Emperor hasn't announced a new successor yet, of course Bavilo would say he wanted to be the crown prince. Nothing that Bavilo said was insulting towards anyone, and was actually quite admirable.

What gets me too is that right after this chapter, the empress claims that the princes are "illegitimate children" because they're the sons of concubines, and that if they were chosen for the role of "carrier of the light" people would question their parentage-- ???

First of all, not at all how concubines work. Concubines are a legitimate role in a harem structure and quite literally their job is to produce more heirs for the throne as back-ups in case something happens to the Heir Apparent. Like that's literally their job. They are official members of the royal palace, to claim that their children aren't legitimate is to claim that they're merely mistresses, not concubines. This was both an insult to the concubines AND the emperor.

Like my god I do not have the time to go into all of the plot holes of this webtoon. I haven't even gone into the total lack of consequences Ariana experiences both politically and socially, and how all of the interesting conflict happens off screen, nor the blatant racism and misogyny present throughout the webtoon, NOR the absolute SHIT worldbuilding.

[tinycheesecakedetective]

*Addendum: Fading Letters AU pt. 2: White Lily

I'm a FOOL.

Apparently I've lost all sense of time because I've been gone for a YEAR AND FIVE MONTHS. What the heck. Right. My rendition of Swap!Lily, everyone. It would've been out sooner, but I cannot draw backgrounds for the life of me. This had me stumped for a good long while until I just decided "fuck it we ball", and here we are now. I'm just glad it's out so I don't have to worry about her anymore.

Now unlike PV, I thought White Lily didn't need any updates to her look in the AU. I thought she was pretty set and done, but I reserve the right to change my mind in the future. Her design is pretty simple; it's the blind healer outfit but more so tailored to White Lily. Her staff is bound shut, she's cloaked and wearing rags, and most notably, her eyes aren't visible. She's hiding her identity out of shame, in search of something precious to her.

~~~

Quick Rundown: White Lily is stuck in Beast Yeast after falling ill, so Pure Vanilla went in her place at her request. (For more information, click https://www.tumblr.com/tinycheesecakedetective/744518672544071680/im-baaaack-i-mean-i-made-one-post-about) .

After PV became this universe's Dark Enchantress, the other half of him was sent to the Fairy Kingdom. Meaning unlike Canon PV, White Lily found out VERY quickly about what happened to him(or what she thinks happened, all she knows is that he's dead), and she takes the news horribly. She immediately blames herself for what happened and ended up grief stricken over the entire thing, so much so that she hallucinates him calling out to her. Elder Faerie tried her best to console her afterwards, and told her it would be possible to bring him back. She swears she'll do everything in her power to bring him back, but the Dark Flour War starts and she has to head back to Crispia. During the fighting, White Lily debates telling the others about what happened to Pure Vanilla, but she doesn't get to when she sees what looks like PV. She thinks it's really him, but then upon closer inspection she realizes something's not right. In reality, the real PV is wreaking havoc across Earthbread as this universe's DE, and no one knows it. The final battle is upon them, and PV has them against the ropes, their soul jams in his grasp. In a last ditch effort, White Lily attacks full force with dark moon magic and is able to stop him. She realizes who he really is, and while she's shocked, WL instead shows determination. She's part of the reason why he is the way he is, but she wants to set things right.

After the war, WL spent some of her time in Beast Yeast in order to understand how to bring back PV. With Elder Faerie's help, she returned to Crispia in search of the soul gem shards. She becomes a nomad, wandering around the world and only stopping for breaks. Along the way, she meets several cookies and makes a new friend. Her journey comes to a halt, however, when a group of travelers also finds one of the shards in their own quest.

~~~

Got all that? Great, here are a few head canons! White Lily's the one that bound her staff shut. From time to time, she visits the Vanilla Kingdom and gives a small tribute to PV. WL also keeps in touch with Elder Faerie through white butterflies he sends, and he gives her advice and motivation. Sometimes she makes small resting areas, and whenever she packs up a lily is there in it's place.

And that's it for now! If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to ask. Y'all have a good evening!

[mbat]

ok i always hesitate to compare varian and cassandra because i know varian is the fandoms baby but i am always comparing them when it comes to the fandoms reactions to the characters

and theres definitely several factors at play as to why people react differently to them, but the main one im thinking of is the things that made the characters break the way they did

moreso how varians is a very external and fairly universal thing. his father was basically taken from him (by varians own creation no less), and he was begging for help that he sadly would not get for reasons that we understand, but hes a teenage boy and was going through the worst thing he ever couldve, so of course he wasnt understanding, he was begging for help from someone that shouldve been able to help, but because of the circumstances, that just wasnt possible. you really cant argue with the motivation there.

but cassandras pain was always more of an internal thing, something that isnt laid out so clearly for the viewers to grasp, especially if they dont care to pay her enough attention. her motivation is there from the beginning, even. in the first few episodes we saw her trying to be someone, be something, by trying to win that one competition and such. i think its even in the beginning of that episode that we see her do something really cool and some kids start cheering and shes proud for a second, before its revealed the kids were simply only cheering because rapunzel was arriving, which sets up the episode in general.

this theme of her trying to be more but never getting to, and being outshined by rapunzel, or not seen/heard by anyone including rapunzel, it lasts through the entire show. but her breaking point comes when this theme is brought to its strongest, with gothel.

shes shown that her own mother was gothel, and gothel abandoned her to take care of rapunzel instead.

personally i think that that alone is pretty damn understandable of a motivation even without the further context, but seeing as this theme has been going through the entire run of the show, its just even worse. rapunzel never means to make cassandra 2nd place, but she has been before she even had memories or thoughts. of course cassandra would break about that.

but if you dont care about cassandra... it just looks like shes throwing a little tantrum about it.

but spending your whole life in the shadow of others, and then several years in this one specific shadow, its not fun. its not great. you grow resentful, you wonder why its like this, you blame others for not bothering to ever truly look your way. at some point you fully blame everyone else and not yourself because youve been doing everything you can and it still isnt enough for them.

im gonna go even more off track here but i also think about that one episode where its a flashback and its an episode that i think bothers some people when it comes to this, i know it bothered athena p (good youtuber but her opinions on my favorite shows hurts me inside). when cassandra had the chance to live her dreams, go to the kingdom of women warriors, but she chose to stay home and be rapunzels friend.

and i guess my best summary of it is... wouldnt you rather stay home and have your first friend ever, whos offering themself up on a platter to you? instead of going somewhere far away that youve never been to before, surrounded by strangers? she could likely always try going to that place later (i headcanon that she does after the show after all), but i cant really blame her for wanting to stay home if she could.

so of course it has to suck that the whole reason you gave up on getting your dream sooner only hurts you more. that she put her dream on pause to make her first friend right there at home, and that friend only (unintentionally) hurt her.

and idk like i said i definitely think theres more factors at play as to why people like one more than the other (for example theres way less time for varian to do fucked up things even though he does do a few lol, but cass has a lot more time)

(also i didnt even MENTION that she was being manipulated the entire time she was using the moonstone but whatever. i can absolutely see people being like 'wtf just dont listen to zhan tiri lol ez' and that would just scream that they dont understand manipulation but whatever whatever whatever)

but yeah i just think a big thing is that. not everyone has experienced what cass experienced, not everyone paid enough attention to her to even care about what her whole deal was, not everyone even sees the big deal with the things she went through. but varian has this very understandable reason that you dont need to think too deeply to see why he does what he does.

this isnt a hate post to varian btw i dont dislike or hate him lol, i just think about cassandra so much its unreal

[davekat-sucks]

https://www.tumblr.com/davekat-sucks/771886685189472256/iirc-meenah-in-addition-to-aranea-as-she-is-a ANON. MY BROTHER IN SUFFERER. DID YOU NOT READ THE FUCKING COMIC-? Bro, my dude, my guy, broski, the entire Beforus, for example, *is* the way it is BECAUSE OF HER IGNORANT NICENESS. Its literally the same fish Hitler, but extreme ableism edition. How can you look at the society where the disabled Latula literally has to hide her disability because otherwise she would've been coddled and cooed over by some stronger and more powerful individuals, which would absolutely destroy her mentally, and not see the extreme problem in that? Do you think that just because there's no genocide and murder it isnt a fucking horror to live in? Do you not realise how one act of her desire fucked everything over for so many others? She wasnt even on the screen and yet her rule as a, oh idk, a highest cast ever??? was still like a slap?? In the comic itself Feferi was never "too nice" 24/7. She was condesending, pushy, talked over others, hurled the same slurs that some other trolls used and enjoyed her privilege immensly, but in her "im going to be so good for everyone! eventually" way. Its literally the same way how people mischaracterize Jade as a "nice uwu girl" stop ittttttt stop stop stoooop. Yes, she's shallower than others. Yes, she's pretty boring due to minimal panel time. But her chat name is also cuttlefishCuller for a reason for fucks sake anon read with your eyes not your fucking ass. She was very giddy and naive, but she's not stupid. Girl literally talked the fucking HORRORS OF THE ELDRITCH CALIBER to blow some fucking *BUBBLES* so the dreams could help others live on. You know. Dream bubbles. The thing that later became cosmically important? Girl is a puddle on the outside and then a goddamn chasm on the inside, unintentional or not. She managed to pack all that adding up to her character even after she died and just kept serving. If *thats* a bad written and a hated character then I want more of those please

So you would agree with Hussie that she was nothing more than a JOKE character? That she would be written out to push someone else and create more filler characters instead of using existing ones? Because Latula was TOTALLY important to Openbound, of fucking course!!!1 And despite Feferi having a lot of importance with the Horrorterrors and it was her who made the Dream Bubbles happen, she doesn't play in any role towards meeting people like Dave when Dream Bubbles get introduced. It was ARADIA who took that role. Right down to Openbound since it is Aradia also guiding Meenah, not Feferi. Or can at least we agree all Peixes, Condesce, Feferi, and Meenah, just suck in general. That their privileged status made them either power-hungry crazy or ignorant to those around them and in both Pre- and Post-Scratch, still secure them to stay in that position. People can say one is better or worse than the other. In the end though, how Feferi gets pushed to the side despite her potential shows how much Andrew Hussie sucks as a writer. The final endgame of Homestuck series would to be have no fuchsiablood be reigning. No monarchies. Kind of like Wayward Vagabond's vision for no more Kings or Kingdoms. And yet look what happened by the end of Homestuck! KINGDOMS ALL AROUND!!!

[hubristicassholefight]

Swordswoman Showdown Semifinals

Hornet (Hollow Knight) vs Brienne of Tarth (A Song Of Ice and Fire)

(Better here in a "preferred character" sense, not "who would win in a fight")

Propaganda below cut

Hornet

Technically its not a sword but she wields a needle in a setting where swords do not exist and she wields it in an exceedingly swordlike fashion so. She counts; Girlboss demigoddess spider lady. She's been protecting an entire kingdom for longer than many of the other characters have been alive. She systematically kills her siblings for being too weak. She's simply the best.

#im pretty sure hornet can beat like. anyone in a fight.#have you ever fought hornet#its so fucking hard getting past her every time i play hk i go literally insane.

#i remember getting stuck on the first hornet fight on mt first play through and bring likr#''omg the boss fights in this are so hard!!!''#like what. you're not even half way through what are you talking about#you can't even DASH honey. you don't know what's diffcult or not in this game.

So, SPOILERS

but I feel like the "she systematically kills her siblings" part needs a little clarification. See, one of her siblings was used as a living prison for an angry god and that uh. Didn't work out for the sibling in question or anyone else.

This account is itself heavily abbreviated but it's likely that any other sibling Hornet encounters will be trying to take over as the god's new prison. She appears to challenge any sibling she sees to battle, in order to test their resolve against herself and her needle - would they actually have a chance against that god?

We never actually see her kill any siblings, but she does quite pointedly tell one of them that (to paraphrase) "My needle is lethal and I would feel no sadness in a weakling's demise."

Feels like a relevant quote. In any case, if they can't beat Hornet, it seems like her needle would be a far more merciful end than what the god would grant.

Anyway, a bit of additional material for @swordswomanshowdown :

As is the case for any cool swordswoman, it's not just her sword that's lethal, it's her with it. And Hornet's needle was custom made for her - the creators have said that, while other needles exist, hers was made specifically for her to wield, and its construction allows her to use her spider silk better in combat.

And another thing that I think makes her a good swordswoman: she's actually pretty thoughtful about how she uses it. There's a least one instance where she tries to warn someone off before fighting them! At the same time, when she does fight, she seems to enjoy it - during her boss battles, you can hear her laugh sometimes, as if exhiliarated. She's really got it all, as a swordswoman!!!

#HORNET SWEEP CMON PLEEEEEEASE#shes gay. shes the only sibling with a gender. shes a spider named HORNET. look like croissant. whats not to like

Brienne

Brienne

gets gifted a sword made with the rarest metal ever because she’s THAT good; she’s simply the best

Brienne is one of the top sword users alive in her day. She's descended from a man who's catchphrase was "I'm better with a sword." Better than what? You. Jaime Lannister. Loras Tyrell. Any five given guys at once. She has a fantastic sword that might be magic or cursed and is named Oathkeeper because that's what she does; I love her

Beat like 20 guys in a tournament when she was 19. Was given a magic sword. Won a sword fight against the premier swordsman in the realm. Very swordly; Very tall and strong. Holds her sword in high esteem. Accomplished with other weapons as well!

She's defeated multiple of the top knights in the series in duels. One such knight gifts her the fabergé egg of swords and she uses it to defend orphans and stuff. Got out of a bad betrothal by dueling him and beating his ass so bad she broke multiple bones. Honestly there's so much more she is the swordswoman of all time. to me; She's buff and ugly and 6' 5" and so honorable and kind that she inspires the guy who fucks his sister to yknow. stop doing that. literally gets mauled for the sake of protecting a bunch of orphans (with her sword). also she's 20 she should be at the club ‼️

One of the best sword wielders in Westeros, the author says he would pick her to defend him. Has a cool sword called Oathkeeper. Manages to go up against 7 fighters and take out most of them,. The only true knight; First off, talking about book brienne, they massacred show brienne, the show runners simply didn’t understand what she’s about.“ She had no chance against seven, she knew. No chance, and no choice” brienne had plenty of choice but she couldn’t leave people to die. The chivalric paradigm is rotten and corrupted, but here is Brienne, the one true knight, who isn’t even a actual knight! “knights are for killing”, but here is a knight who risks her life again and again to protect innocents! Bri IS hope, she is the light in the dark that shows that things can be better, things must be better. Fundamentally an idealist: “Winter will never come for the likes of us. Should we die in battle, they will surely sing of us, and it's always summer in the songs. In the songs all knights are gallant, all maids are beautiful, and the sun is always shining”

#BRIENNE WON A MELEE WHEN SHE WAS 19 !!!!!#DONT LET HER LOSE

#MORE LOVE FOR BRIENNE#SHE FOUGHT A DAMN BEAR WITH A WOODEN SWORD#SHE AVENGED A MAN UNJUSTLY MAIMED#SHE PROTECTED CHILDREN AGAINST SEVEN MEN#NO CHANCE AND NO CHOICE

I'm going to put some propaganda for Brienne, because she deserves the world.

Some people have been quoting the "no chance, no choice" in the tags, but for those that don't know it comes from this scene:

...she could hear the faint clink of swords and mail from beneath their ragged cloaks. She counted them as they came. Two, four, six, seven. (...) Brienne sucked in her breath and drew Oathkeeper. Too many, she thought, with a start of fear, they are too many.(...) Brienne tried to keep the fear from her voice, but her mouth was dry as dust. The children, she thought. The door to the inn banged open. Willow stepped out into the rain, a crossbow in her hands. The girl was shouting at the riders, but a clap of thunder rolled across the yard, drowning out her words. As it faded, Brienne heard the man in the Hound’s helm say, “Loose a quarrel at me and I’ll shove that crossbow up your cunt and fuck you with it. Then I’ll pop your fucking eyes out and make you eat them.” The fury in the man’s voice drove Willow back a step, trembling. Seven, Brienne thought again, despairing. She had no chance against seven, she knew. No chance, and no choice. She stepped out into the rain, Oathkeeper in hand. “Leave her be. If you want to rape someone, try me.”

This is basically one of the most badass and awesome moments of the series... because here, Brienne is not guarding a King, vanquishing a great Evil Lord, or fighting a big glorious battle... this is an inn full of orphans being attacked by raiders, children whose lives really don't matter in the great scheme of things. If they were all to be killed, nobody powerful would really care, no history book would write their names.

The logical thing is to run away from there as fast as she could. And yet, Brienne decides to enter an unwinnable nightmarish battle (one where she gets her arm broken and her face eaten) because is the right thing to do. She is a true knight.

Because, in the dark pseudo-medieval world of Westeros, where the patriarchal martial system reigns supreme, there is no space for someone like Brienne, she herself said it best:

"You have a noble father who must surely love you. (...) I know he would tell you that he would sooner have a living daughter than a shattered shield." "A daughter." Brienne's eyes filled with tears. "He deserves that. A daughter who could sing to him and grace his hall and bear him grandsons. He deserves a son too, a strong and gallant son to bring honor to his name. (...) I am the only child the gods let him keep. The freakish one, not fit to be a son or daughter."

And yet, despite being on the fringe of this society that doesn't accept nonconforming gender expression, despite not being able to be named knight, Brienne is still the embodiment of the ideal of knighthood. She is a true hero, who over and over decides to defend the innocents and do the right thing.

So yeah, my conclusion here is... I think she and kiku should kiss <3

[hedgehogism]

why princess celestia is a twist villain. a mid-season 1 my little pony conspiracy theory

so like im midway through season 1 of mlp:fim and barely remember a fucking thing. but im calling it. PRINCESS CELESTIA IS A BITCH AND IS A TWIST VILLAIN. now you may be wondering. hedgie; what an amazing theory. you are truly our god emperor for all time. care to elaborate? of course babycakes. so Princess Celestia is brought up as this perfect angelic flawless princess. shes as perfect as they come. well, i believe everyone is just a bit fucked up. i dont think shes as perfect as she wants us to believe she is. i think she has some skeletons in her closet and is plotting something terrible. i believe the true reason she sent Twilight to ponyvile isnt to form friendship, but rather to get insider information on the main ponies so that if they ever got too close to finding the truth, she could swiftly take them down. I believe she ran some calculations and deduced that the biggest threats to her secret operations were Rainbow Dash for her blistering speed. AppleJack for her brute strength. Rarity for her smarts and Fluttershy for her animal friends which could prove a big threat. So who else is better to get insider information on their skillsets and more importantly their weaknesses and flaws than the student that begs and lives to please her. Twilight Sparkle. she knew that twilight would follow through no matter what, insisting that she send letters on her "friendship" updates. When in actuality, she is catalouging EVERYTHING, learning as much as she can to prepare counterattacks for if they ever got too close to finding the truth and tried to fight back. We all know the tale of the sisters. Celestia controlled the day, Luna the night. Luna got angry and tried to cast the world into eternal shadow and Celestia stopped her by sealing her away in the moon. But how can we trust that? Whos to say thats the true story? What if Celestia wrote that version to portray herself as the hero and Luna the villain. What if Luna discovered Celestias true plans and tried to stop her but was cast away and Celestia told everyone a false story to build trust, grooming the citizens of Equestria to become her undying mob that will follow her no matter what. And she could easily do the same for if the Mane Six ever attempted to put a stop to her. After all, Equestria worships the very ground she trots on. She could make the entire kingdom turn on the Mane Six in an instant if she felt they got a bit too close to stopping her. Plus, nobody would ever suspect Celestia of doing ANY misdeed. After all, shes perfect. Shes flawless. Doesnt have a single ray of dark in her heart. But people. doesnt she seem TOO perfect? TOO flawless? She spent her whole life building up this perfect image of herself. A kind, peaceful ruler who protects everyone. And this is by design so that when her plan is complete, whatever that may be, it will be far too late to do anything because nobody would have ever suspected her. And thanks to Twilight sending letters to her every day, giving updates on her friendships with the other ponies, telling detailed stories on their weak moments and their triumphs, she has all the information and data she needs to plan a counterattack on the only six ponies who could ever be a threat to her goals. anyway yeah thats my theory, if any of you spoil me ill gut you like a fish.