#the eleventh doctor. » relationships.

[nobleriver]

DOCTOR WHO | Let's Kill Hitler (6.08)

[wibblyv]

You were seared onto my hearts, Amelia Pond. You always will be.

[mischieviem]

the 11th doctor being everyone’s girlfriend

[slayerinthetardis]

Friendly reminder that Amy and Rory fucked so good in the TARDIS that they created a Timelord. A nearly extinct alien race. Amazing.

[expectiations]

I still find it funny that people call eleven a "deadbeat husband" and their marriage "toxic" but twelve is the "perfect husband" and their marriage "wedded bliss" all because of the few moments we'd seen between 11 and River were them being "toxic". yes of course! let's ignore how the minisodes show how that description isn't true and even how little moments in the episodes themselves – "what? that's it?" (why haven't you kissed me goodbye? are you being sly on purpose so I'd kiss you first?) and "they wouldn't bury my wife out here" and the music room is the heart of the home and it's not a ghost story, it's a love story – show 11 cared and put in the work and yes, they're going to have disagreements like the ones in TATM because duh who doesn't but it does not mean it is the entirety of their relationship but people have taken it and made it the entirety of their relationship.

[macbethz]

i was originally going to do another pass at this where i edited out more of the loud ass dw music bleeding through but i think if i get hung up on that i will never post this so here it is...my amy and 11 sick and twisted codependent relationship thesis in AMV form. the girls who get it get it

song is i wanna be adored by the stone roses <3

[opqrstuv04]

Eleventh Doctor/River dynamic is so funny to me because it’s like. This milf he barely knows rolls up and starts calling him “darling” and “my love” and his response is to immediately turn his twink charm up as high as it will go 

[thetorturedlovergirl]

Who would I be in life without thinking about doctorclara everyday?

…

Probably a mentally stable person.

[sapphosboy]

The thing about Doctor Who is that nobody’s doing platonic soulmates like they are. Especially with angry redheaded women. Like the Doctor and Donna are the most spot on example of platonic soulmates. ​Tied together by destiny. They love each other so unfathomably much, devoted, would die for each other no hesitation, all without an ounce of romance. Amy Pond being the first face the Eleventh Doctor saw, and him telling her, “you’re the first face this face saw, and you are seared onto my hearts, Amelia Pond, and you always will be.” and her appearing to him right as he’s about to regenerate. 

[iceinherheart-kissonherlips]

for anon:  I kind of wish that someone would do gif sets of the Cleopatra exchange in The Wedding of River Song and also that The Doctor just says "Down girl" when River briefly gets sidetracked by Ramone in The Husbands of River Song.  I'm pretty sure that it's an open marriage but also wonder if they are averse to either seeing or knowing about other people even when they are actually eye to eye.  I feel like there's a great discussion to be unlocked about trust between them that supersedes other people.  Of course, if this is too naughty to bring up pretend I didn't say anything :)

[seaweedstarshine]

Hi! Long time no yap but I've been really bothered by this thing and I know you're just the person I can go to with this (even if we don't always end up agreeing at times).

I got into a tiff with someone in a comments section of a post that was about Amy (Which character do you think deserved to become a villain? or something similar). They brought up Amy's abuse of her boyfriend. I may have tried to defend Amy (key word is tried. I am officially rubbish at debating) but then I may have said something? Because they said that I (and apparently a lot of other fans) was excusing Amy's abuse because of her trauma. It got me stumped because isn't young Amy's treatment of Rory rooted in her trauma? Did I miss the memo where we separate trauma and abuse? Am I missing something?

That statement bothered me a lot because if there's one thing I never want to do it's defend an abuser. So here I am, humbly asking and hoping to clear the muddy waters.

Your really confused and disturbed moot, Tia 💌

TIA!!!!! Thanks for the ask 💌 , and I send you all the hugs.

Discussion of abuse, trauma, ableism, infidelity, and unhealthy relationship dynamics beneath the cut.

(First off… while I really appreciate your faith in my explaining skills <3 <3 <3 my passion for traumatized characters and mentally ill+neurodivergent rights doesn't make me especially qualified to fully clear muddy waters especially not knowing the full context, but I feel you, and what follows is my informed perspective!)

Speaking generally first, harm done in media is best examined by the impact on the audience, with a different lens than harm done to real people. While relatable experiences in media can be useful and validating and incredibly important, you can’t be “defending an abuser” when the abuse is fictional. It's actually normal for traumatized/ND/mentally ill people to project onto mentally ill villains, when villains are the only significant representation for those stigmatized symptoms in a media landscape that excludes and demonizes us simply for existing. RTD can't stop people who hallucinate from reclaiming the Master's Drums and projecting onto the Master, for example — 90% of the best Doctor Who psychosis fic by psychotic authors is about the Master, whether RTD likes it or not. It's not true crime.

(This is speaking generally. Amy Pond is very much not the Master.)

Abuse is a behavior, and there can be many reasons for it, but reasons based in trauma don’t make it not abuse (some forms of generational trauma can propagate abusive parenting styles, when the parent thinks abusive parenting is normal, or lives entirely vicariously through their child). This absolutely should not be taken to mean trauma correlates with abusive behavior; rather that abusive behaviors from traumatized people are more likely to present in specific ways.

Abuse is also a targeted behavior, based in control — not consistently displayed C-PTSD symptoms as seen in Season 5 Amy Pond through many aspects of her life. Mental health symptoms don't become abuse just because they hinder one partner from meeting the other partner's needs. Any life event can do that.

Without knowing the context of the arguments, this is the aspect of their relationship I've seen you talk about before (which I also feel strongly about), and what I assume is what you were debating? So, here I will talk specifically in regard to Season 5.

We all know Amy — she's never attached to Leadworth because she never wanted to leave Scotland, no steady therapist because none of them stick up for her, can't stick with one job yet her first choice is a job that simulates intimacy because her avoidant behavior (a known trauma response) isn't sustainable to her wellbeing. Rory knows her fears of commitment stem from her repeated abandonments, it’s why he’ll always wait for her, and it's why he blames the Doctor “You make it so they don't want to let you down.”, who apart from having caused a lot of her trauma, has actively taken advantage of her being the “Scottish girl in the English village” who's “still got that accent,” because he wants to feel important, so yeah, I think interpreting Amy's issues (and how Amy and Rory transverse them) as Amy abusing Rory indicates a fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship, as well as a misunderstanding of the (raggedy) Doctor’s role in Amy’s formative self-image (which of course she works through in Season 6, but I am sticking to Season 5).

Abuse is always based in control. That just doesn’t fit here. While Amy's detachment from her real life includes things like calling Rory her “kind of boyfriend” (which she is upfront about to his face; differing commitment levels isn't abuse, though it can be a relationship red flag for both parties IRL) — her Season 5 disregard of Rory’s feelings occurs only in response to the fairytale embodiment of her trauma. It's never a response to Rory; it's a response to the Doctor, who stole her childhood and led her by the hand to her death. She cheats on Rory with the Doctor in her bedroom full of Doctor toys, drawings, models, she made from childhood to early adulthood.

(And yes, like many repeatedly-traumatized people, Amy is prone to being sensitive and reactive. Take her “Well, shut up then!” line in The Big Bang; but given Rory responds to this by hugging her, clearly he doesn’t take it as her actually dismissing him. He knows her better than that.)

And by no means do I meant to imply this is fair to young Rory, poor Rory, who's left struggling with the feeling that his role in her life is in competition with the role of her trauma (aka the Doctor). But not every unhealthy relationship dynamic is unhealthy because of abuse. Labelling Amy's treatment of Rory in Season 5 more accurately isn't the same as excusing her harmful choices — but making mistakes is part of being human, Amy's mistakes are certainly understandable, and she works through them out of love for Rory.

If there's one thing to say about Moffat women, it's that Moffat allows his female characters the same grace that the male characters *coughTENcough* have always had, to hurt and struggle and make realistic mistakes and overcome those mistakes and to heal without being demonized.

Amy isn't perfect, but she is a fully realized character, and her story gives us a resonant depiction of childhood trauma.

[impossibledial]

interpreting elevenclara as a prequel to twelveclara because i don’t like them on their own for some reason.

[icklewolfiekins]

truly believe Doctor Who is the reason why all my favourite ships are polyamorous but also kinda asexual that guy goes through time and space collecting partners and we love that for them

[fanaticforlife]

Doctor & Amy - Silhouettes

“There’s nothing that I’d take back, but it’s hard to say there’s nothing I regret”.

These two were irreplaceable to my youth. Cheers to them. Thank you for this beautiful study video @secretlytodream <3

P.S. "It's time we saw each other as we really are"

[moss-under-a-rock]

Unpopular doctor who opinion: I like Clara much more with eleven that with twelve.

No, I will not elaborate

[losticaruss]

theory: every non-doctor who fans favorite doctor is matt smith