#the edits have been so revealing: both of the best and the worst parts are so stark and i know there is a mountain of work still here for me

[defiledtomb]

Being tipsy on gin lemonade on a sunday literally just feels like this

[cyberyam]

If you do requests, could I please ask for a scenario where Jinwoo gets a little jealous of Jinah because his lover has been spoiling her rotten with gifts, food, (and worst of all) headpats?

Nothing serious of course. Just playful, harmless jealousy.

an. hehe okay :3 i hope you like it

not fair.

Pairing: Sung Jin-Woo x Fem!Reader

Summary: You develop a close relationship with your boyfriend’s sister, and Jinwoo starts to get jealous.

After four months of officially being Jinwoo’s girlfriend, he finally brought you home to meet his precious sister.

He spoke of her so often that every time her name came up, you’d ask when you could finally meet her. Then, one day, over coffee at your favorite café, he finally said the thing you’d been dying to hear.

“This Friday, I want you to come over and meet my sister. I’ll make dinner.”

That night over bowls of steaming bimbam stew, you and Jinah hit it off immediately. You loved the same music, the same shows—conversation flowed effortlessly, laughter filled the room, and Jinwoo sat back, watching it all unfold.

At first, he thought it was cute. He loved that the woman of his dreams and his sister got along so well. Really, he did.

But lately, it had started to gnaw at him.

“Babe.”

Jinwoo hummed in response, his phone sandwiched between his ear and shoulder as he bent down to tie his shoelace on the sidewalk.

“What flavor do you think Jinah prefers? Strawberry or grape?” Your voice crackled with excitement over the line. “There’s this new candy out, and it comes with a limited-edition keychain! The strawberry one has—”

His eye twitched as he secured his shoelace, dusting off his pants before standing up.

“You don’t have to get her anything, you know?” He picked up his grocery bag and continued his walk home. Tonight, you were coming over for dinner, and he already knew how the evening would go. So long as Jinah was in the room, he’d be a second thought. A silent observer to you and his sister’s personal hangout session.

“I know! But I really, really think she’d love these keychains—”

Jinwoo cut you off, his grip tightening on the bag. “What about me? What flavor do you think I’d like?”

He knew better than to sound jealous over his own sister, but still—you were his girlfriend, not hers.

There was a brief pause. Then, as if it were obvious, you replied, “Oh… but I already know your favorite flavor is grape.”

The lack of enthusiasm in your voice ticked him off more than it should have. Why weren’t you that excited about picking something for him? Sure, you already knew his favorite, but still.

“What if I liked the strawberry keychain better?” He challenged, readjusting the grocery bag in his hand.

“Okay!” You said after a contemplating pause. “I have an idea. You’ll see tonight! Bye! Love you!”

Before he could get another word in, the line went dead.

Jinwoo pulled his phone away from his ear, staring at the black screen, pouting.

Unbelievable.

Dinner was… fine.

If you asked Jinwoo, that’s the word he’d use. Fine.

If you asked literally anyone else, they’d say it was great—especially you and Jinah, who spent the entire meal talking like long-lost best friends.

Jinwoo barely got a word in. He just sat at the head of the table, chewing slowly, watching as you both laughed over some inside joke he wasn’t part of. His chopsticks hovered over his plate, picking at his food while his eyes flicked between the two of you.

“Wait, wait—so you’re telling me the villain knew the whole time?!” you gasped, setting your spoon down.

“Right?! And the way they revealed it! I was losing my mind!” Jinah grinned, practically bouncing in her seat.

You groaned, gripping your hair. “I need to rewatch that scene. I swear I stopped breathing for, like, a full minute.”

Jinwoo exhaled through his nose. “Must be a good show.”

Neither of you heard him. You were too busy reenacting the scene while Jinah hyped you up.

He hated to admit it, but he didn’t like that he wasn’t the reason you were laughing.

He was jealous of his sister. That was a fact now.

After dinner, you and Jinah took over the kitchen, still wrapped up in your conversation as you cleaned up together. Jinwoo, left to his own devices, did the only thing that made sense—he tried to watch the damn show.

He even found a recap video online, hoping to catch up without sitting through all ten episodes. Maybe then he could actually contribute to the conversation. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so left out.

But the second he walked into the kitchen, trying to casually insert himself into the discussion, you crushed any chance he had.

“Oh, that episode? Yeah, Jinah, tell him what happens at the end.”

Jinwoo’s stomach dropped. “Wait—”

“Oh, right! So basically, the villain—”

“Don’t!” He practically lunged forward, but it was too late. The spoiler hit him like a slap to the face.

Jinah giggled, elbowing you. “Should’ve kept up,”

You tried your best to hid your smile, stifling your laugh at your boyfriends agape expression.

Jinwoo groaned, dragging a hand down his face. This was actually worse than being ignored.

Later, the three of you settled into the living room, and you finally pulled out the candy you’d been raving about all day.

“Okay! I got one of each flavor, so everyone gets both keychains.”

Jinah gasped, practically snatching them from your hands. “Oh my God, these are so cute! Thank you!”

She held up the strawberry one, twirling it between her fingers like it was some kind of priceless treasure. Jinwoo watched as her face lit up—like a kid getting their favorite toy on their birthday.

“I knew you’d love them,” you grinned, reaching out to pat her head. “You have good taste, Jinah.”

Jinwoo felt his eye twitch.

Then, to make it worse, you suddenly gasped. “Oh! I almost forgot!”

You dug into your bag, rummaging around before pulling out something else—a tiny banana-shaped stress toy, soft and squishy, with an adorable face printed on it.

“I saw this on my way out and immediately thought of you,” you said, handing it over like it was a sacred offering.

Jinah gasped even louder than before. “No way. This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!” She squeezed it, watching it slowly return to its original shape. “It’s so squishy! Oh my God, feel this.”

She shoved it toward Jinwoo, and he reluctantly poked it, watching it deflate under his touch.

It was a banana. A literal banana.

You cooed at her. “I knew you’d love it! You little plushie-loving gremlin.” You patted her head again, ruffling her hair like she was some tiny, adorable pet.

And that was it.

Jinwoo gripped his keychain tighter, his jaw tightening with it.

What the hell was this? Why were you patting her head?

Later that night, you flopped onto Jinwoo’s bed with a satisfied sigh, stretching your arms over your head.

“Tonight was fun, right?” you mused, rolling onto your side to look at him.

Jinwoo, meanwhile, was sitting at the edge of the bed, arms crossed, back turned to you like a sulking child.

You blinked. “…Babe?”

Silence.

Oh.

You bit back a smile. “Are you seriously giving me the cold shoulder right now?”

More silence.

Jinwoo let out a slow, dramatic sigh and leaned forward, rubbing his hands down his face. “I just… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I was actually jealous of my own sister tonight.”

You grinned, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Yeah, I kinda figured.”

He finally turned to glance at you, lips pressed into a pout. “You patted her head.”

You blinked. “…So?”

“You never pat my head.”

You stared at him. Then, a laugh bubbled up before you could stop it. “Oh my God. You’re serious.”

Jinwoo groaned, flopping back onto the bed beside you. “Forget it. Just go give your new favorite sibling a goodnight kiss, then.”

You rolled over, resting your chin on his chest as you peered up at him. “You’re such a baby.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I want to be your baby,” he grumbled.

Your heart melted just a little.

With a grin, you reached into your bag and pulled out one last thing.

“Good thing I got this for you, then, you little baby.”

You placed a small plush doll onto his chest—a tiny, ridiculous-looking demon with a scowling face and tiny horns.

Jinwoo blinked. “…What the hell is this?”

“A demon,” you said brightly. “I saw it while I was at the store and immediately knew I had to get it for you.”

His mouth fell open. “Jinah gets a banana and I get a demon?!”

You burst out laughing, rolling onto your back. “It’s a cute demon! It reminds me of you!”

He scoffed, holding it up with a deadpan expression. “How?”

“Because you act all grumpy and scary, but deep down, you’re just a soft ‘lil cutie.” You propped yourself up onto your elbows and leaned over to poke at his cheek.

Jinwoo groaned, dragging a hand down his face, but you caught the tiny smile tugging at his lips.

Then, without warning, you reached over and patted his head. “There. Happy now?”

He blinked. Stared at you for a long second. Then—without a word—he grabbed you, pulling you into his arms and rolling onto his side so you were locked against his chest.

“I’m keeping this,” he muttered, squeezing the demon plush against your back.

You smiled into his shirt, snuggling closer. “I figured.”

© cyberyam

[apollos-boyfriend]

Hey I've been observing from afar through your reaction blogging, I haven't been in mcyt as much since the dsmp ended but I still care about a lot of the people in the mcyt circle and I'm interested in what goes on - care to give a rundown of what happened at this twitch rivals thing everyone keeps talking about? (no pressure only if you want to) Aside from the fact I'm sure it was terribly run like most twitch rival events are, but it sounds like there was more to it than that

okay so. i am going to be missing quite a few details because i missed a day myself + my streamer could not care less, so i heavily encourage others to add on stuff i missed

this was a multi-day competition, running for 5 days with prize rewards from 1k to 100k. it started with i think 150 players, with select numbers of people getting eliminated each round. day 1-2 are fairly normal, at least for twitch rivals. of all the games that got played through the whole event, i'd say like 1 was actually good, and maybe 2 were decent, at best. most are bad, poorly-executed, poorly thought out, or just boring in terms of both player enjoy-ability and content creation.

DAY 3 EDIT:

now, sapnap's been sapnap for this entire event already. obnoxious, a bad sport, but most notably, playing DMCA'd songs. the event ran on proximity chat, so while he was unmuted, everyone around him would also be subject to said songs, which could mute vods at worst and terminate accounts at best. most people are fed up with him at this point. while everyone's trying to come up with solutions for the glitch, sapnap spams the discord with useless shit. couriway calls him out in the discord, calling him annoying and obnoxious, then later calling him a cunt in twitch chat. sapnap uses couriway and feinberg's name in his stream title for clickbait and talks shit about them + their friends (hbg/house builder gang). he also makes some weird comment asking if couri is homophobic because sap was talking about having skeppy's dick in his mouth?? or something?? i'm unsure exactly how day 3's issue of the glitch resolved.

day 4 is also your average experience with your usual range of average to horribly painful games. sapnap continues to be a bitch and not take responsibility for his stans attacking anyone in sight, but what else is new

day 5 is. bad. the game set for deciding the final competitors can be cheesed (if you let someone else do all the work, you can punch them in the last second and steal their win) and eliminates like 20 people at once. on top of that, a glitch happens that leaves the server on standby for at least 30 minutes while admins decide what to do. firebreathman sends a picture of a bare naked ass in the discord. someone else sends a photo of their debit card. streamers entertain themselves in various ways, including growing a cactus (fulham), playing osu (purpled), collecting other people's streams for their overlay (fruitberries), playing slime rancher (badboyhalo), and building real-life furniture (couriway). tubbo (who was already eliminated at this point) starts jumping between streams and asking in chat for the tea. the game is eventually replayed, deciding the final 4 players, but it's just as broken and at that point, no one wants to be there anymore. it's revealed through multiple streamers (purpled, i believe also feinberg) that twitch rivals games are not tested before being ran. the only testing done was a stress test to see if the server could handle all original 150-some players. this explains why the games are so bad and poorly organized (some games take over an hour, others barely 30 minutes).

the final four are sapnap, shadoune, sneegsnag, and i think feinberg. it's the most anticlimatic game of connect 4 you can imagine. sneeg eliminates sapnap, and shadoune eliminates fein. notably, fein's game glitches during a throw, which despite being obviously a glitch, the coordinators brush off as being "part of the game". fein and multiple other streamers spend time analyzing every pov frame by frame and all agree that yeah, that was a glitch. shadoune and sneeg are left for the finals. they come to an agreement that this is stupid and a horrible event. tired of this bullshit, they purposefully stall the games and run a podcast for approximately 2 hours, forcing the coordinators to bend to their commands hunger games-style. essentially since the first glitch of the day people were begging twitch to just split the money, something that wouldn't be easy according to tubbo, because everything is pre-signed and delegated before the event. sneeg and shadoune give no fucks, and force the coordinators to split the money anyway, winning the day through the power of friendship. i cannot stress enough how no one wanted to fucking be there by the end of all this.

[dustbunnylair]

Uraume Confirmed Gender, Originally a Male and Reincarnated Into a Woman's Body | Jujutsu Kaisen Volume 28

[Source: SportsSkeeda Article]

Okay first off, let me just say that I fucking knew it. Usually, I try not to make jokes while writing these silly, for lack of a better word; essays. However, I did in fact call it. I theorized this is exactly how Uraume's gender works, the binding on their chest never being for battle, but instead just to bind their chest. Here's a screenshot dating back to September 10th [last month]

Now excuse me but to all the Jujutsu Kaisen "fans" that said Uraume is in fact a girl and nothing else; FUCK YOU.

I'm sorry but the jjk fandom is by far one of the worst fandoms I've been in. and I've been in the My Hero Academia fandom so that says A LOT.

it's extremely ironic too because as soon as this came out, the "transphobic" Uraume "fans" stopped shipping them with Sukuna, like immediately. If that doesn't scream red flags about the fandom then I don't know what does.

I've talked about it before and I will talk about it again, [legal + nontoxic] queer ships and queer headcanons within the jjk fandom is NOT the problem. The people constantly shoving "why can't two men be best friends" down your throat are THE problem. These headcanons and ships are not new within any anime fandom, there will always be a queer ship no matter what.

⬆︎ Edit: I would like to note for the text above, after a few months from this post, it was revealed in an extra chapter that Uraume met Sukuna as a child. I want to make it very clear, i do NOT condone or support those ships and I do NOT ship Sukuna + Uraume ever since this info came out. I will be keeping the above text in as for my feelings on transphobia/misgendering within nonbinary or androgynous characters in general. But PLEASE know I do NOT support any type of problematic ship, thank you.

"Why can't two men be best friends" Why can't a woman and a man be best friends? Why do you ship every woman + man friendship?

Honestly the first time I've ever been so goddamn happy for Gege Akutami to confirm something about his character, especially knowing who it's going to upset. It honestly does suck how many bigots are in the jjk fandom because Gege isn't against lgbtqia+, he's literally a fan of BLs..

The only excuses people had for Uraume being a woman is;

Hakari calling them a 'her' [he was assuming]

Uraume has bandages around their chest during Hakari vs Uraume because they're a woman and that's what women do during battles

They were reincarnated into a woman's body therefore they're a woman.

I'm skipping over the Hakari part because that is such an obvious answer. Uraume having a chest binding around their chest during a fight isn't because they're a woman, not to mention no other woman character has ever had chest bindings, there's literally nothing to back that up. And if you *actually* paid attention in Jujutsu Kaisen, you'd know that reincarnation has NEVER specified that the vessel NEEDED to be of the SAME GENDER.

I'm not 'caring too much' about a fictional situation. I care about the fact that homo/transphobes are so fucking annoying in fandoms to the point that no one can even enjoy Jujutsu Kaisen anymore without some rat in your ear saying it's not canon.

Just like the heavy homophobia towards SatoSugu or ItaFushi, the only excuse both have is 'two men can be best friends' as if SatoSugu or ItaFushi shippers have ever said they couldn't be. The more valid reason is that ItaFushi is a risky ship due to both of them being minors and not wanting two minor characters to be sexualized, but shipping characters doesn't automatically mean you want them to have intercourse or debate on who's top/bottom.

Most shippers [including myself] ship characters that would most likely be wholesome together due to how much they care about each other.

Anyway, I thank Gege Akutami for this confirmation so the useless debate can stop. I will still be referring to Uraume as 'they/them' due to them being technically both genders. I'm praying that the Jujutsu Kaisen fandom and future fandoms are able to heal and not have constant debates like this because people want to have unproblematic headcanons.

[prolix-yuy]

Writers' Iron Chef #13: Lovesick

[PROMPT] Patching up a wound

[ADDITIONAL PROMPT] “Why would you put yourself through something like that?”

[TIME LIMIT] Optional, 10 minutes prep. time 30 minutes writing time Optional, 10 minutes editing time

Pairing: Joel Miller x GN!Reader

Rating: M, descriptions of wound care and blood, allusions to dubcon due to drinking and drug use. While this story is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ so MINORS DNI.

Summary: You've been greedy for Joel for too long.

Notes: Written for Writers’ Iron Chef Prompt 13

I've had a Joel story idea bouncing around in my head for several months now, but it's not much more than disconnected scenes and a vibe, you know? I decided to try and exorcise a part with this prompt. This was imspired by a scene in the movie Foe with Saoirse Ronan and Paul Mescal (which was excellent, btw) that got the creative juices flowing.

Thanks to @writersironchef for always giving the best prompts!

The blood that runs into the sink isn’t yours, but it is Joel Miller’s and that’s hardly better.

Laying the needle and scissors beside the sink, you dry your hands on a towel that doesn’t make you feel much cleaner. There’s probably still blood under your nails, half moons of frenzied memories you can look back on when you’re in bed tonight.

“Joel, what the fuck?”

“I need…”

He didn’t have to say much more, and your stomach sours for it. Joel could say he needed you to balance on the edge of a razor and you’d do it just for the fact that he needed you. Pitiful, lovesick, desperate you.

He’d shredded his back coming back into the QZ scrambling away from patrol lights. Tess split off from him, trades to be made and deals best done without her loyal attack dog. So he’d stumbled back to his apartment, stopping just long enough to knock at yours across the hall.

“Jesus Christ, how did you fuck yourself up this badly?”

“FEDRA’s patrolling our usual spots, think they’re onto us…fuck!”

You salved his wounds with apologies as you cleaned grit from long scrapes and worried at the beads of blood that melted across your fingers. The worst was a gash you had to close, infection too present a worry. Hardening your gut, you tried to disassociate how much like sewing leather it felt. Joel bit down on his belt and stuffed his face in a pillow, but fists still slammed on walls around you at his ruckus. 

“I’m done, I’m done, it’s finished.”

“Jesus ‘n Mary, there ain’t much left for you to piece back together at this rate.”

Walking back to the bed, he’s disheveled but alive. He asks for booze, which you find in a high cabinet. He asks for pills, reluctantly revealed to live in a false drawer bottom. You don’t have to say he can trust you with these secrets. Vices were too expensive for you most days. Once he downs both he lays back, injury padded with the cleanest cloths you could find. His breathing hitches, pants in pain, then slows as the drugs and drink take effect. 

And then it’s just you, sitting next to your neighbor as his body releases. 

You should go. Tess would be back any time now and you didn’t want her to see your longing. There are whispers about if Joel is hers, and while you know they belong to each other in a way drenched in darkness, you’ve never been sure if the claim is on their hearts as well. It’s just vague enough of a partnership that when Joel has a good day and shares an extra ration card, your heart flutters. 

But it’s too dangerous. He’s too dangerous, the both of them. You can’t get mixed up in whatever they have going on. Why would you put yourself through something like that?

It’s not the first time he’s come home bloodied, and not the first time you’ve pulled him back together. There’s trust there, but also foolish hope that life could march on and a man could desire you again. Maybe even care for you enough to break teeth and bones. 

A brush against your arm turns you back to Joel, eyes half-lidded but trained hazily on you. One large hand skims over your shoulder, down your arm and lands heavily in your lap. 

“Joel?” you ask, looking down at his thick fingers splayed across your thighs. He hums, low and rumbly as his lips part. 

He’s surely too far gone to know you’re even here. It would be best to slip out unnoticed, talk to Tess tomorrow about checking his injury for infection. 

But you don’t. You’re frozen as the calloused skin of his thumb catches on the worn fibers of your jeans. It’s a caress you haven’t known for years. 

He doesn’t know it’s you.

“Joel,” you say again, and enough courage bolsters you to slide your hand into his palm, the other circling his wrist. He’s so warm, thick-skinned against your fingers. You start to lift from the bed, intending to place his hand where you sat, when it makes a drunken path to cup your chin. Pressure against your jaw turns your face to him spread out on the bed beside you. His chest is bare, light perspiration beading along the cut of his collarbone. He licks his lips slowly, the slip of tongue drawing an ache up from the deepest well. 

“Hey there,” he drawls, and god, you could shatter from it. Tears build in your eyes but you can’t move, his hands drawing you down to him. 

“Joel, it’s…I’m not…” you choke out. It’s a final defense. He’ll hate you tomorrow, but you’ll have said something. His lip quirks, not quite a smile. 

“I know,” he husks before leading your lips to meet his.

You’re not sure he does, but you’re too greedy to say more.

END

[asherlockstudy]

bit of a weird ask but connected to one you answered earlier about rhett's fear of link coming out.

your metas about wonderhole seem to revolve around the idea that wonderhole is a means of r&l testing the waters for coming out - or at least, trying to indicate to *some parts* of their audience that something's going on. how does this tie in with rhett not wanting link to come out? like is it that he (rhett) is trying to come out, but only in a really cautious and planned out way? which is why he came up with that side of wonderhole (i say 'he' because he's usually the more creative one but idk!!!).

thank you for all your metas btw they're so interesting and you notice so much!! 🫶

Okaaayyyy sorry for the late answer! This is probably 3+ weeks overdue! This is by the way the cynical post I promised a few days ago. These weeks have been horrible and it's still not much better but I finally had the opportunity to complete this. My answer unfortunately is not a pleasant one. This answer will be a little sensitive, even for my standards. Be warned and steer clear if this is not your cup of tea or idk pretend this is my headcanon and I believe none of what I am saying.

For these reasons I will keep my answer under a cut:

Toxicity & misalignment between Rhett and Link (Rhink edition)

First of all, I confirm that this is the general idea behind my metas. However, I have also said in various occasions that Rhett and Link do not seem to be on the same page at all. Based on everything I see, Rhett actually does not want to come out. He only “agrees” to it because he is cornered into an agreement since Link wants it very much. It wasn’t even hard at all to see it in the “who’s the worst husband” GMMore but I have been having thoughts about Link’s marriage… ever since I started watching GMM in 2016 basically. Moreover it seems both a divorce and a coming out are desired in his case. But the problem is that also little of this is half meaningful to him if he does not do it in order to be with Rhett.

Except Rhett does not want to do it. At the same time, Rhett can’t really stop another human being, let alone his best friend and business partner from doing something so pivotal for his wellbeing and his very life. The problem is that these two share a heavy private past and present. If Rhett completely rejects the idea and downright refuses the prospect to ever be part of this and openly be with Link, this can be received as betrayal, rejection and separation from Link and it can cause huge resentment that might ruin their relationship, their friendship and their business. As in, this can literally make them part ways both as friends and as business partners, which would not only be most likely costly to Rhett’s personal happiness but it would also be 100% the doom of their career and income. Additionally, the level of heartbreak and resentment a betrayal or separation between the two would risk producing could cause very unpredictable and volatile responses from Link, as we know he is capable of. Who can guarantee to Rhett that Link won’t out him alongside his own outing out of vengeance? And if this happens, then Rhett will lose everything he would fear he would lose if he came out on his own terms anyway: family, career, money plus in this case he will also lose Link because if they reach that point when Link outs him out of vengeance, I think their relationship is probably beyond a salvation point.

But even if Link breaks up and comes out on his own and somehow retains the level-headedness and magnanimity to not reveal Rhett’s contribution to his sexual awakening, it’s still not a good situation for Rhett or their partnership. First of all, even just Link coming out will be a risk for the stability of their viewership and the fan support. Second, do you think Link could come out on his own in his forties and 99% of their loved ones and fans would not be able to make a guess about what the trigger of this awakening was? Link would be like “oh I was walking down the street and suddenly after 40 years of life I saw this cool bloke and everything changed for me no it has nothing to do with the guy I have attached to my hip since I was six years old and I always act obsessed over I swear we only Plato besties” Yeah...no. Eventually fans will understand but more than anyone else friends and family will also understand. Once this happens, even if Rhett does not follow, he will be subjected to 10 times more scrutiny and suspicion than whatever he was getting so far. Family and friends will wonder how much he knew about his best friend, Link. People who suspected both and were eventually proven right for one half (Link) will become sure they were right about the other half too. For example, Rhett’s father who did not approve much of Rhett’s too tight friendship with Link, he suddenly finds out that indeed Link was in the closet all along, he will only feel vindicated and he will almost certainly be convinced that his own son just hides. They will all think like that because almost all of them were suspecting that for both of them, so when they get confirmation for one part, they will take it for granted that the other half confirmation is pending. Rhett will be scrutinised and monitored by everyone. In the end, it will be like he did come out too. Rhett and Link’s lives and choices are so intertwined that a single coming out will simply be no much difference. What one does also affects the other. Even if Link comes out on his own, Rhett is going to confront pretty much the same problems.

Rhett did not expect all this between them would go that far, he did not expect Link would find the guts to pursue such a huge identity change publicly. Rhett allowed himself to be swept away by the affair, because he rested in his miscalculation that their motives and goals would always align. He thought Link felt and saw things the way he did and that he would compromise for a secret affair forever, easily covered by their very close friendship and committed 24/7 business partnership. It was the perfect hideout, beard if you will, for an affair that nobody would be able to prove since they had always been extremely close anyway.

Except Link has an allergy to lies and he spent the largest part of his life tormenting himself by lying. I suspect the by far biggest reason he lived with lies (including religion and his romantic life) was his fear of losing Rhett as a friend. Furthermore, Rhett was Link’s point of reference for most things so besides lying to him, everyone else and to himself, Link genuinely tried to imitate Rhett - his role model - very hard. He did everything in his means to be a great business partner to him whether it was in religion or entertainment, he tried as best as he could to be “effective” as a straight husband and he struggled super hard to be a proper devout Christian - so to have all the package Rhett wanted. But when Rhett abandoned the faith and after they started the affair Link now had what he wanted the most all this time and he didn’t care nearly as much for anything else or going back to another lifetime of lies. You must have seen how he has developed a pretty fierce hatred for lies and for not being “true to oneself”. Link started wanting it all out, the truth, the ability to live their love.

Link was greatly disillusioned by Rhett’s hesitation to share his aspirations. Rhett probably initially did not want at all but the strain it caused made him comply for all the reasons I mentioned above; the more determined Link becomes, the less Rhett can do but follow.

The only thing Rhett could do to control this out of hand situation was to warn Link that he agrees to it but only if he takes care of how and when exactly it will happen, with the argument that he tries to prevent as much collateral damage as possible. Link agreed even though all this delay torments him because he too knows that acting way too impulsively and independently from what Rhett wants is risking to lose him forever. This is Rhett’s only weapon that Link fears: “You can come out on your own or out me without my will if you want, but just so you know, if this happens it’s over between us”. Link on the other hand is like “If I get convinced you are lying to me and don’t truly intend to do this with me, then it might as well mean we are essentially finished anyway, so I will come forth and do it myself and hell mend us because I have nothing to lose and just so you get the message I will show you again and again I can do it at any moment”. This is how they still keep each other at check. And if you think this is a toxic as hell situation, well you are right. Their relationship is toxic. Given its circumstances, it is statistically near impossible to not be toxic. The unique problem with them and their relationship is that if they stopped it and broke up, with everything that ensued, things would perhaps become even worse for them emotionally and even pragmatically. So they are literally trapped in every single way.

Whoever thinks things slip out of Link unconsciously like so many people believe needs to reconsider. All these small non-coming out coming out jokes and comments he makes are his intentional constant reminder and warning to Rhett, who is equally tormented by it just as Link is from the delays and Rhett’s hot and cold behaviour. If all this is real and if we are being realists, all these and several other aspects I can’t even bring up because this will become a monster post are causing very significant strains to their relationship which they both try to ignore, fight and reconcile over constantly but it is not always that easy. They have big fights. They did recently. They did in spring 2023. And in between, I am sure. And it is usually close to the making of their “coming out” scripted content.

I have said so much already. I will say this too. Link is not in a good place. Despite starting 2023 by saying he is living his best life again and again, this is not reflected anywhere. (Perhaps at the time he believed this because he expected the scripted videos to come would produce much more desirable results.) Link even makes some slightly concerning statements; including how he sleeps to avoid remembering his problems or that he makes plans of going away (that tend to NOT involve his loved ones, not even Rhett) and that waiting for the next plan is what he lives for. Link is heartbroken by Rhett’s hesitations and constant postponements. He can’t help but compare Rhett to himself, who’s ready to drop it all (ALL, even family and career) at a moment’s notice and lands again and again to the conclusion that Rhett does not love him as much as he does or even that he does not truly love him. This hurts him deeply and causes most of the resentment you see bursting out of him against Rhett or in general sometimes and it seems so out of place.

The fact that Link doubts Rhett’s true feelings can be observed several times throughout their content. Around 2017-2019 Link would implore Rhett publicly to open up about his feelings and thoughts, causing discomfort to Rhett. But the most important evidence came with the invaluable EB episodes of spring 2023 which were very charged. At some point in spring 2013, Rhett and Link took different weeks off for vacation and as a result they both did one single-hosted EB each. In Link’s episode, Jenna was asking him questions by the fans. One was “what virtues he values the most”. This is what Link replied:

I think sincerity... I’m sure that’s not the only one. There’s got to be at least three other ones that tie with that but that’s what I am going with today. You know. Don’t give me lip service. Mean it. Want it. Put your heart into it.

This is clearly Link talking about something way more specific than just general sincerity as a trait in people. He visibly has a particular situation in mind, he wants “someone” to mean what they have said to him, to “want it”, to “put their heart into it”. The implication is that Link expects them and wants them to want and put their heart into that certain something as much as he does. Don’t tell me it doesn’t fit… perfectly, right? Link therefore has great doubts about whether Rhett truly wants to set their plan in motion and blames him for doing too much empty lip service to keep him "sedated".

Another time, in a GMM Rhett read in a not so serious context that “For Link passion is the most important thing”. Link replied seriously; “It is. For you it is not” and he looked at Rhett with a complaint on his face. Rhett’s expression fell but he ignored his comment. Here's a link with screenshots.

Link really does not say things randomly anywhere near as much as people think. The following recent example must have been interpreted by most as a typical nonsensical Link segway for a podcast topic, except it was not nonsensical at all. It was the truth, at least in the way Link perceives it, and maybe the truth in general as well:

Link makes the segway to a fan's question personal by claiming Rhett would like to be the third person in Link's relationship with Christy (as in, remain the secret affair). Link himself changes the subject promptly in this case and Rhett does not comment at all, while normally he is amused and inquisitive about Link's nonsensical statements. Notice Rhett's standard by now approach to not react at all and let the situation diffuse... he was talking lately about how good of a diffuser he is.

However, the most significant moment for me, a moment that felt like great vindication, a moment that made me think “Damn how wrong can I be in what I think after this???”. What happened is that I predicted what Link would say in a personality / deeper thought question and then minutes later Link went ahead and said exactly that! They were talking about the power of being invisible in an EB in 2023 again and they were asked what they would use this power for. I immediately thought : “Link wants to be able to go to Rhett while Rhett is not aware of his presence and find out whether Rhett's feelings for him are true and how Rhett truly interacts with Jessie when they are all alone".

And here's what Link said a few moments later and made me lose my mind:

Link: Gain access to. Information. And, um, I decided to invest the limited time I have in - as an invisible - to learn what people think about me. Really. Like, I wanna put myself in positions where people - Rhett: Give me an example. Link: Like, every relationship that I have, I’m talking work relationships, friend relationships… I mean, it was a quick answer but- (…) Link (after some non-significant joke part initiated by Rhett ): I feel like I know what Christy thinks about me. I don’t feel like it would be fair to spy on my wife. Rhett: But I feel like maybe you can predict what all these people say about you without you being there… Link: Yeah… maybe there’s not much to learn and maybe it’s only… maybe I don’t want to learn it.

So Link said. exactly. that. He wants to know what people close to him truly think. He says "work relationships, friend relationships" (Rhett checks both boxes) and only excludes Christy (with a reasoning that is also intriguing). He does not exclude Rhett. Rhett acts clueless but his remark makes me suspect his cluelessness is not 100% genuine. Link ends this by reconsidering his choice, mostly because it made him vulnerable in Rhett's presence, and realises he probably does not want to know the truth after all, which again hints to a specific charged situation that bothers him instead of a generic tactic used on all his acquaintances. Read my original post for a detailed analysis of this moment. It's relevant to what is being discussed here.

Long story short: despite the reassurances he privately gives Link, Rhett is not quite ready to come out and it is obvious to Link, who is heartbroken, drenched in his doubts and fears and trapped indefinitely in a situation he wants to break free from, a situation that leads to the deterioration of his emotional and psychological well-being and to outbursts of aggression or anger that in return further strain his relationship with Rhett.

Rhett takes a lot of it stoically but he also reaches his limits often. He thinks Link wrongs him or misunderstands him more than his behaviour justifies. He is seriously worn out by Link's menacing playing with fire. Sometimes Link's outbursts hurt him and then he responds by also hitting Link to his weak points. He has severe anxiety too, which Link exacerbates.

A juvenile example of how this ongoing chronic toxicity makes them hurt each other is in the latest EB and it might seem insignificant because it's founded on silly banter; as Rhett recounts his experience as a novice archer Link says that maybe he is parts elf. Rhett plays along, saying his ears are pointy anyway. Link quickly reconsiders this odd compliment (elves are aethereal and natural archers), as he often loathes to stroke Rhett's ego (which he considers the big culprit of the problems in their relationship - Link spent much of his life deifying Rhett and Rhett took advantage of that and then took Link too much for granted) so he turned it to the unnecessarily cruel reconsideration that maybe he is parts orc actually. This remark hit Rhett under the belt; an insecurity, his appearance. While obviously Rhett ages like fine wine and Link visibly agrees, it doesn't change the fact that Rhett cares too much about the impression he makes to other people or that for a long time he didn't look his best or, also, that objectively he is the less beautiful half of the duo. It isn't very clear but Rhett is hurt by this and he always is hurt by it when Link makes fun of his appearance - it is honestly such a bad thing to make fun of when you are the public figure companion, let alone most likely the lover. You can tell Rhett is hurt by the way he retaliates in milliseconds: "Well I've told my wife to call me Legolas". So, immediately he snaps back by reminding Link that he is desirable to somebody else and that he has sex with that somebody, thus hitting Link on his own insecurity. They know each other's weaknesses and anxieties and unfortunately they make use of that a lot.

When I say Rhett does not want to come out, it's not that what he feels for Link is a lie, I don't think so. We have several examples of Rhett demonstrating jealousy or neediness for Link, even genuine moments that slip out of him. However, he mostly keeps himself at check and is not very expressive about his feelings to Link, hoping to restrict him a bit in this way. Maybe Rhett is just hyper aware and terrified of all the things that can go wrong. It's also true that apart from the wives, the rest of Rhett's family environment is going to be way less tolerant to such a revelation than Link's family. Rhett fears his parents might cut the communication with him, even disown him, and his brother is a pastor. You might say, who cares, he is an adult, he does not need their approval! Of course he doesn't but we can't just expect from people to not care what will become of their relationships in their family. Also, from all the kids, Locke seems to be the most conservative and has a close relationship with his grandfather. Maybe Locke's reaction is what Rhett fears the most, let alone their relationship was never very easy to begin with. I think Shepherd is going to be fine. Link's kids, I think Lily is bi herself so she will maybe understand and Lincoln and Lando are mild young people, unlikely to have way too strong reactions. Sue is a sweet understanding woman and Charles would definitely be a problem once but he has mellowed with age. So Rhett feels there's more at stake for him than for Link.

Then it's all the other risks, how the viewers will respond, how many viewers will turn their back to them. This is not just about being anti-LGBT. A lot of viewers - even allies - will feel they were taken in for years or will disapprove of the affair being a secret from everyone for years. Most people watch Rhett and Link to enjoy these two friends and family men do silly and inconsequential stuff, to lay off their everyday worries and burdens. Such a reveal will be a huge nasty shock for many, no matter how pro-LGBTQ+ they are. A fall in viewership or subscriptions will endanger their Mythical corporation. A hundred people are paid by them. It's truly not easy at all, which is why Rhett tortures himself by overcurating their strategy and Link by overbearingly monitoring him.

Link saying how Rhett will hit him in the legs under the desk often to control what he's saying is another Link joke that is totally the truth.

Then again another reason Rhett is hesitating so much more than Link is that - let's be honest - Rhett is sincere when he says he is really attracted to women. Rhett likes women and he enjoys being intimate with his wife. If they are pursuing a fully committed relationship, which I think they do as they both want to commit to the one they love, it is a lot harder for Rhett to make the move of no return because it means giving up on women probably forever. I think in theory Rhett considers himself ready to do it but in actuality it is harder for him because he probably ends up losing more than Link does. More conservative family at stake, sacrificing his love for women. It is just a lot and I don't blame Rhett for having so many thoughts about it. They are edging their 50s, that's the time a person wants safety and stability, not to embark on a huge odyssey of a journey. Plus, maybe Rhett suspects (and he won't be wrong if he does) that this will not prove all that easier for Link when shit hits the fan, it's just that Link is so impulsive and wants to escape his marriage badly enough that he does not consider much all the adversities and everything that might go wrong. Rhett is painfully aware of all the dangers, maybe even to the point of somatizing anxiety. He fears so much that he curates and curates and curates their scripted videos strategy and he finds obstacle to every negative hint to the point that Link thinks he is disingenuous. It's almost certain to me that Rhett wished they could keep being secretly in love forever because they had the ideal cover-up; best friends and business partners. They would remain lovers and friends and partners forever anyway, all while keeping fans and relatives happy as well. Rhett also seems to be worried that Link is getting more unpredictable and a little "difficult" as he ages ; it's cynical but maybe he is also concerned what he gets himself into in the future.

But again I don't think it is that Rhett doesn't love Link enough or that he doesn't wish deep inside he were more carefree and braver too... He's just very scared and stressed and his concerns are logical. And in the end, he still is trying to do it. It’s just that he has to fight and defeat himself in order to achieve it.

[player1064]

Hi! All such great carraville drabbles so far! If you’re still doing them, may I request them coming out publicly and the various reactions of news broadcasters, other ex/current footballers and of course, the internet. Thanks!

aaa thank you!!! and yessss I love fics where it's public reaction to stuff and i LOVE multi-media type fics so this was fun to write (even though i am much too lazy to come up with fake twitter usernames)

---

Group: MU mob

Phillip: forwarded an instagram post by gneville2 Phillip: ???

Gary: what Gary: do u think I was too nice to him in the caption Gary: I can edit it to add something about scousers maybe Gary: or how he never won the league

Phillip: you and Carragher???

Gary: ?

Paul: whyd u make me look at that rot first thing in the morning Paul: put me off my breakfast that did

Ryan: im not installing instagram for this whats he done now

Nicky: ^

Phillip: he’s dating Carragher?????

Ryan: where have u been for the last 2 years its literally all he talks about

Phillip: America! I have been! In! America! Phillip: Gaz I can’t believe you told them and not me?

Paul: I wish he hadnt told us to be fair Paul: they r so annoying

Gary: sorry phil I mustve forgot Gary: timezones etc Gary: gtg we’re having breakfast before he has to head to studio 🥞😍

David: nice post Gary 😊🏳️‍🌈 Happy for you x

Chat: Stevie G

Missed call from Stevie

Stevie: Carra

Missed call from Stevie

Stevie: Jamie Lee Duncan Carragher Stevie: pick up your damn phone Stevie: you are shit at this best friend thing yknow Stevie: also Gary Neville??? Stevie: you were moaning about him when I called you just last week Stevie: but if he makes you happy that’s alright then Stevie: tell him he’s buying me a pint next time I’m home Stevie: in liverpool mind Stevie: don’t care if you love him you won’t see me in pub in manchester

The Daily Mail

LIVERPOOL AND MAN UTD LEGENDS JAMIE CARRAGHER AND GARY NEVILLE REVEAL GAY RELATIONSHIP?

Former rivals turned co-pundits posted Valentine’s day messages on their Instagram accounts which appear to show an intimate relationship between the two men, who were both married to women for over ten years. Neither has responded for comment.

Comments:

> they’re the worst pundits on sky anyway they don’t even try to hide the bias for their teams

> gary neville’s always trying to bring politics into everything rishi was right he should stick to football!

> well I will be getting my commentary from MOTD moving forward. wish I could cancel sky sports but can’t afford to miss all the match coverage so they will be getting a strongly worded letter from me instead.

The Guardian

OPINION: IT’S 2024. WHY HAS THE FOOTBALL WORLD NOT CAUGHT UP?

There are still no openly gay players in the top tier of the men’s game. Now that two retired premier league footballers have come out, we have to ask: why is this headline news?

Both Liverpool and Manchester United football clubs have posted messages in support of Neville & Carragher, and so have many current and former players. But it begs the question why they thought that support might not be implicit, or why the two pundits had to publicly “come out” at all.

Comments:

> tbh I didn’t even know who they were until I saw Beckham’s ig story 💀

> surprised Gerrard’s not said anything, thought he and Carragher were mates >>> probably can’t if he wants to keep his manager contract $$$

> the guardian: why is the media making a fuss about two ex-footballers coming out? the guardian: is part of the media making a fuss about two ex-footballers coming out…

Twitter

Sports - Trending Gary Neville 264k tweets

Jamie Carragher 151k tweets

@.1111 they’ve been obsessed with each other for years is anyone really surprised

@.222 ngl I thought Gary Neville was already out as gay? You’re telling me people have believed he’s straight this whole time??

@.333 it’s giving slow burn enemies to lovers 150k words…

@.444 sky already wheels the two of them out together whenever they need to promote ANYTHING I bet it’s gonna get 10x worse now

Chat: J ❤️

G 👹👸: good luck on show tonight G 👹👸: no vday dinner :( G 👹👸: I shall have to waste away and pine instead G 👹👸: drown my sorrows etc

J ❤️: should be back to hotel by 1 at the latest J ❤️: I know that’s past ur bedtime old man so don’t wait up

G 👹👸: I will be up (😉😉) and ready to give you your dessert 😘 G 👹👸: might have a cheeky nap before though to be fair

[divineerdrick]

The Warhammer Preview Show: Warhammer Day 2024

I'm once again liveblogging my reaction to a Warhammer preview, and I couldn't be happier!

Why?

Because the Preview was live again!

If you've followed my Warhammer Liveblogs you know how much I hated that they moved to prerecorded live shows. And I wasn't the only one! But once again the studio has listened to the community and it looks like we've got live shows back.

This is one thing I will constantly press about Games Workshop. Being less than a billion-dollar global company, in a niche hobby, means they still have to respond to us. If we make our displeasure known for long enough, and it impacts their sales, they have to act. If even 1% of Warhammer fans don't buy the latest and greatest product that GW releases, it hurts.

It also helps that they're under UK corporate law instead of American corporate law.

And I have a feeling from some of the things I've seen on discount retailer sites, that certain big releases have been under-performing. So hopefully this is the first in some course corrections.

Give San Guard their wings back!

I'm still wondering about what's going on with how few releases have been announced for Christmas. They do seem to be pushing War of the Rohirrim more than I was expecting, so maybe they really are trying to just let releases breathe instead of smothering them. I'm wondering how Necromunda Secondus and Mechanicum performed given how they released along side Age of Sigmar 4.0.

Honestly I think that most Warhammer fans hold GW products as being the best in the market. When they start taking a downturn, we start asking why we're paying so much for them. I think GW really should go back to a slower release cadence of higher quality products. Releasing both of their major game systems back to back in essentially a beta state should not happen. There's no excuse for 10th Edition Eldar to release one summer only for 4.0 Nighthaunt to release the next. And the less said about 4.0's Regiment system the better.

All and all, I'm still really excited for this Preview. I'm not expecting too much right now, but I'm willing to be surprised. For now, just having a live Preview is enough.

Enough rambling! Onto the Preview!

Preshow

Our hosts today are veterans of the Preview shows, Alex and Nick. This was one of the first things that got me excited when I checked in on the stream after discovering WarCom was down. After some of their traditional introduction, including asking for location shout outs, Alex tells us what we've got in store. The reveals today are for Underworlds, AoS, 40K, Kill Team, and Legions. Legions in the past hasn't gotten a lot of love in these Preview shows, so I'm hoping for a little better presentation this time around.

But then Nick slyly cuts in that those are just what was announced, and we should keep our eyes pealed. I've heard some rumors already, but let's see what they actually tease for us.

Underworlds

We're starting with GW's original Skirmish game set in the Age of Sigmar. I'm still really hoping that Warcry gets some love again soon, but I'm betting Underworlds must be just slightly outperforming it.

Oh wow! So with the new edition of AoS out and the story advancing with the Vermindoom, the team has decided to release a new edition of Underworlds. And this edition looks like it will also start with a Stormcast verses Skaven box.

They're once again pushing that accessibility factor with this new edition. I will say this much, other than a few sticking points I have I don't really feel this push to accessibility has resulted in any "dumbing down" of these editions. Probably the worst offender was Kill Team 2nd, and they've undone some of that. Admittedly they pushed the worst part even more . . . Still I feel that 40K 10th and AoS 4.0 are still very tactically deep games. And that, at the end of the day, is what really matters.

And unfortunately we're probably never going to see this push to expand the audience through accessibility ever go away. Businesses in the current corporate world live and die through growth. There's only so much money GW can wring out of their current audience. There has to come a point where GW expands their audience, or investors will leave and the company will decline.

Unfortunately that's tricky to do when you also keep raising the prices of starter products.

But Underworlds has always been relatively inexpensive compared to GW's other products. It's a perfect example of creating a stepping stone into the larger hobby. Buying a board game style starter box with only a few push-fit miniatures to assemble and paint is much easier than buying and painting something like Skaventide. And GW looks to be leaning into that.

They're really throwing a lot of long looks into the miniatures and the board. Still, no matter how much time they spend here this is never as good as the bright, close-in pictures WarCom usually has later. One advantage of the Live previews is we often get to see some of those ahead of time. Hopefully Nick and Alex will focus in on some like they used to.

Here's our box reveal.

And you're making me nervous Nick. This is very similar to a lot of those prerecorded shows. Now that the reveal trailer is done I don't want to be here having someone presenting a prerecorded message on why I should want to pick this up. I want to be back in the studio, with chat, getting live impressions and active responses to questions and feedback from you and Alex. You got me excited for a live show, Nick. Don't turn this around on me.

Uh oh! It's a reset! Normally, this would have me excited. But there are two things that make me nervous here.

The first is that this game incorporates cards and deck building. If they're completely updating the rules, does that mean previous cards won't work anymore? Will we have to get new decks for any warbands we play?

The second is Kill Team. In case you didn't know, Kill Team just introduced a Standard style rotation that means that eventually your Kill Teams won't be legal in competitive play. Many classic Kill Teams already don't have rules in the new edition. Now many of those Kill Teams are still perfectly fine for casual games . . . for as long as GW writes compatible rules for them. But eventually you won't be able to play a given Kill Team without going back to a prior edition of a game. That's fine for collectors who have lots of friends going back to previous editions. But for most LGS communities, that creates a problem.

I'm guessing Underworlds will work in a similar way. I don't know if any previous Warbands will get retired, but they'll probably introduce a cut off point and then rotate out older Warbands eventually. You'll probably have to go buy a new deck for any of the older Warbands to use them in the new rules. This is all just speculation, but it's speculation based off how GW has been running their other games.

This may be a small point to some, but it's a legitimate up-sell to me. GW has gotten considerably better at creating and designing rule books. They've gotten much easier to read in recent editions of their games and much easier to use at the table. I'm hoping they continue to refine them. Also their apps have gotten better too for looking up the latest version of any given rule.

We're also going to single boards, war scrolls, and they're defining Warbands with stat systems to help you understand their play style. One thing I'm not sure of is the replacement of card art with miniature photos. I kind of liked the way the cards added some of that great GW art into the game. I'm not sure how well the various cards will depict the action if it's just still photos.

All and all the new edition looks good, but I've got questions that are going to need answered.

Back in the studio we've got some great shots of the miniatures - not sure I'm liking the sculpt around the eyes for this one - but we're not getting any community interaction yet. There's no point in these being live shows if we don't have any response to the community feedback and questions!

Hm . . . We've got them just talking over these repeating slideshows. I'd honestly prefer to just seem them sitting their and talking to each other to gauge their live reactions. And while I'll admit that this is a new edition, and there's a lot to talk about, they're kinda just going over what the presentation showed. Yes! I'm going to harp on this! I want community interaction, dammit!

Okay, here's one point answered. The starter set is going to come with four decks in it, one based on each of the now named play-styles, Strike, Take and Hold, Flex, and Mastery. These decks will be playable with any Warband. So any of the old Warbands that receives rule updates can use these decks to start with.

It looks like with other recent new editions, we'll get our first chance to see this played at a GW event. In this case it's the Tampa Open, which is next weekend! So we'll probably learn a lot about the game in the coming days.

. . .

And now we're moving into the next part of the show. No questions taken, no feedback, not even a glance at chat. I'm not happy.

Age of Sigmar

And it's just the Warhammer Day miniature. We've already seen this. It's a pretty cool looking miniature to be sure, but why are we covering it here?

My hype is draining away.

Same thing with the Darkoath. Though this looks like it might be a box set, and that means it might have some new miniatures.

Oh! While they didn't show it, this is the announcement for the Slaves to Darkness Battletome. I did miss that this box set is the Darkoath Spearhead. So this will be our first big release for AoS 4.0 following Skaventide.

We're getting a new release for a Sorcerer Lord outside of the Warhammer Day model. This one sounds like it will have a few options for it. Hopefully we'll see these on WarCom.

And here's our Battletome reveal! It sounds like they're doubling down on how little changed between the Skaven Index and Battletomes. This is potentially bad as some of the AoS armies need some real changes.

We are getting a new Army of Renown, Be'lakor's Legion of the First Prince. So hopefully that will bring something interesting for AoS players to experiment with. It's my understanding though that Regiments of Renown aren't seeing much play right now. But we can wait and see.

Speaking of! We've got a nice rules preview here of a new Regiment of Renown that can be included in any most of the god-aligned Chaos factions. The Daemon Prince gets to keep it's Gift of Chaos that it would have claimed in an S2D army and gets the relevant faction Keyword too. However, I can't imagine spending a drop on this the way AoS 4 currently plays, unless they change how drops work in the next rules update.

Battleforces

They didn't mention any universe transition, just that big boxes are on the way soon. My guess is this is our first look at the holiday boxes, which will probably included both 40K and AoS, maybe Old World if we're lucky.

These are all themed after detachments. The Tau box is obscured, but we saw it earlier in the preview, and is the Retaliation Cadre. This means that this is probably a sneaky reveal of one of the new Imperial Knight Detachments, the Valourstrike Lance. Though that sounds suspiciously like it might be a rename for the Noble Lance.

I'll note that none of these battleforces are Chaos themed. We've got three Imperial battleforces and two Xenos. But there looks like there's a lot of value in these kits. That Tau box has a Riptide in it, the Knights have a Paladin and four Armigers, the Sisters comes with two vehicles and a pair of Penitent Engines, the Necrons get the Void Dragon, and the Dark Angels get The Lion. I'm not gonna add everything up here, since I can't see exactly what everything is, but that's over $300 worth of Knights.

And just as I suspected, we immediately go into AoS boxes.

We're only getting four here, Maggotkin, Cities, Iron Jaws, and Flesh-Eaters. One for each Grand Alliance. These don't appear to be based on any Regiments or Armies. And I'm not seeing anything popping out at me for high value items.

These are indeed our holiday boxes. As with recent years, these are designed to go along with the intro boxes. So if you get a Combat Patrol or Spearhead alongside one of these, you'll have a pretty decent collection. Whether they match well with previous Battleforce launch boxes, I'd have to check. But at the very least, I know the Dark Angels one didn't have The Lion in it.

They're saying they're supposed to match Regiments in AoS. I only checked Iron Jaws, but looking through the others they also don't match any current Regiments. So these might be renames or new Regiments coming in the Battletomes.

Hah! They even just mentioned that the Cities of Sigmar force can represent different Regiments! So maybe there wasn't any actual consideration made there at all.

They also just brought up that there's duplication with the Morbheg Knights. So not so good there for the AoS portions either.

Warhammer Armoury

They tease that no one knows about this reveal yet. But it's an Officially Licensed product, so outside of games I'm not sure how much interest there will be.

Warhammer Armory! Okay, you have my attention.

Also, gee! I wonder what's about to be revealed?

There it is! Ghal Maraz! (Subject to GW's approval.)

i haven't gotten my hands on any of these, but I really want to see if I can. I just love stuff like this. If my father's business could get them to sell, we would in a heart beat.

I still have my Slayer of Kings. It's sitting right next to me. I'd honestly love to collect more stuff like this.

Legions

So we've already had Mechanicum for Legions revealed, so they're starting off by going into the lore. I guess that's one way to try to pay more respect to the specialist game. Still I'm hoping for more news for Legions.

"Now you're probably sat at home, thinking, "Games Workshop we've already seen these." It had crossed my mind, yes.

Dark Mechanicum! While they haven't shown any traitor specific models yet, the new rules will allow you to field these models in both Loyalist and Traitor forces.

But they're not keeping us waiting for long! This is the Serperos Heavy Stalker. Looks like it's a near Titanic scale model for the Dark Mechanicum. Like most of the new Mechanicum stuff, I'm totally here for this.

I'm also still hoping to see some even larger creations hitting Titanicus and Legions. Say a certain class of Titan that hasn't had an official model for a while . . .

And book reveal! This book will apparently have the rule for playing both factions. So hopefully we'll see more force specific miniatures in the future.

A Special Surprise

Something a bit more lighthearted. A feast in the field, huh? Blood Bowl? Don't they already have halflings?

40K! I know what this is! Apparently Death Korp isn't all the Guard is getting!

"Make a pie crust from compressed cardboard and fill it with a tin of Munitorum issued nutrient paste." Yummy.

I'm so here for this!

These ratlings look fantastic and have so much life and character to them! This is a fantastic addition to the Guard range!

Oh! It's a commemorative model! Boo! I want this to be a part of the main range!

Oh well. Looks like I'm picking up at least one thing for myself this year.

Kill Team

They teased more ratlings, but look at these Boyz! More proper Orky miniatures! Yes!

And there's our new ratlings! Look at the bulldog!

So I guess the next Kill Team box is Orks verse Ratlings. So much for the idea that the next team would be Storm Boyz. Specifically this is Ratling Snipers verses Tankbustas.

All of these miniatures look pretty bespoke. The ratling kit is definitely new, but that doesn't look like an upgrade sprue on the Orks either. I'm wondering if all the Kill Teams will be new kits from now on?

This Kill Team set will include a bunker terrain piece and missions for trying to defend the bunker or storm it. Sounds like a fun time.

The holiday miniature will also have a mission for trying to steal the food for their provisions. So there's another fun detail.

Hmm. New animation or game?

Bandai Namco? Guessing game.

Oh! I was wrong! It's an animated short! Looks like a free one too!

Our next preview will apparently be in November, for the Championships and Grand Narrative Campaign. I'm hoping they do a better job there.

But as the sign off, they hit us with one more teaser.

Final Thoughts

I've apparently hit my image limit, so I'm not gonna go into more details on the miniatures. But on the whole they were fantastic. Not the biggest fan of the Stormcast models for Underworlds but the Skaven models were cool. All the other new models, especially our new Kill Team set and commemorative mini look fantastic! While this Preview was light on new models, what was shown was great!

And that's all the good I have to say.

So this did definitely need to be a Preview because they were revealing the new Underworlds. But honestly, they could have made the whole show about that and I think it would have been better. The Kill Team reveals were good, but the rest was stuff that would normally just be a WarCom article. So they may as well have just dedicated it all to an Underworlds deep dive and left the Kill Team stuff for later.

And while I think this was better than the prerecorded stuff we got before, this might as well have been prerecorded. In fact I'm sure there are gonna be people who accuse this stream of being prerecorded. There was zero interaction with chat. Yeah, they asked chat to call out where they were from like they used to, but then didn't acknowledge any responses. Chat might as well have not been there, and that means this might as well not be live.

This isn't okay! And while I appreciate the nod to the old format, this was honestly something where I wanted to see designers talking about what they were doing. I don't want to hear Nick and Alex talking about the new mechanics and design ideas of Underworlds, I want to here it from the people who made the game! While I didn't like the mock interviews, there's no reason not to have the designers on there talking about what they're excited about.

Between lack of meaningful reveals and the misuse of the live format, this is still a fail. If the last review was a student handing in a print-off from Wikipedia with his name on it, this one was two guys who threw together their paper at the last minute. This will probably be my last liveblog for these. I'm certainly not gonna do another one until I see meaningful changes in the format.

[londonhalcyon]

Fic Writer Interview (20 Questions)

This tag game passed by twice, once in January (because apparently this post has been sitting in my drafts that long) and again several months later, so forgive me for not remembering who to tag! These questions seem fun, so if anyone wants to join, feel free to say I tagged you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

20 at the moment, with plenty more WIPs.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

480,895 words and counting.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Not counting TMW bonus content, the top 5 are:

The Mad Witch (758 kudos)

"The Scarlett Cauldron" (77 kudos)

"Fear Itself" (76 kudos)

"The Most Powerful Witch" (72 kudos)

"Piper's Best Worst Day" (57 kudos)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I love engaging with my readers and other members of the fandom. Every comment always makes my whole day. Life gets busy sometimes, so I don't always have the time to respond to every single one, but I definitely see and appreciate all of them!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Usually my fics have fairly hopeful endings, but "3 Years Ago," a pre-canon Murdered: Soul Suspect fic might fit the bill. Sometime in the future, it has the potential to be topped by "Will of the People," a Fallout 4 WIP that revolves around the Diamond City anti-ghoul riots.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My Secret Santa fics, "It's Not the Fall" and "Flawed Phials," definitely have the fluffiest endings!

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I get rude or condescending comments on occasion from people who don't know how to hit the back button and/or are unfamiliar with fandom etiquette, though nothing actively malicious. The one time I received a transphobic/homophobic message in response to TMW it was private (if it was public, I would have deleted it; I don't give a platform to that kind of thing at all), and honestly I hope that person is in a better place now because they really didn't seem okay at the time. I'm fortunate that the vast majority of my readers and mutuals are such wonderfully amazing and kind people.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, BUT, before you get too excited, not in The Mad Witch. Smut is by definition graphic, and TMW has a Teen rating that shall remain unchanged.

The smut scenes I've drafted so far (F/F and F/M) are for my Rosemary Reaper series (post-canon Fallout 4 WIP). Those fics will all be rated Mature, so while not overly explicit, they'll definitely be spicier than TMW. Maybe I'll share a snippet sometime if there's any demand for it.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?? I have long since deleted my Wattpad account, so my fics should only be on AO3. If anyone ever finds one of my fics elsewhere in the wild, please let me know.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, which is probably for the best. I would like to make some heavy edits to the beginning of TMW when I'm done with it.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic, though I have co-written a short fantasy story with a friend, with him writing for one POV character and me for another. We agreed on major actions and story beats, but we each kept a major secret that we didn't reveal until after we had written our individual parts. It was a lot of fun (though we were both painfully unskilled at the time).

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't know if I really have one. I have ships I enjoy and characters I like to pair with OCs, though nothing I feel properly obsessive over. This might be a consequence of primarily writing for video game fandoms. But I do have my default game romances: Merula in HPHM, Piper in Fallout 4, Marcurio in Skyrim, etc. I'm also a sucker for unrequited love interests, like Serana in Skyrim and Aveline in Dragon Age 2. The ANGST.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I never want to say never because I'm currently 83,435 words into the last fic I said I would never write. But there are two fics that I'm almost certain I will never finish, which I'm kind of sad about: my post-canon Murdered: Soul Suspect longfic, A Certain Darkness, and my RWBY OC team longfic, DSRT.

I made it just shy of 200,000 words into A Certain Darkness before I had to drop it. My writing skills ended up surpassing the progress I had made, and by the time I realized how many characters, relationships, and plot points were just straight up bad, I had written myself into a corner. I do love Joy and Angel so much, a medium/ghost duo with way more homoerotic tension than my closeted teenage self ever intended. Maybe one day I'll gut the story, drop the characters into a different setting, and make it something original. One day.

DSRT ran into a similar problem, though fortunately I only ever wrote the first few chapters. I could probably reattempt it if I really wanted, but with the overwhelming number of WIPs I already have, it's hard to imagine finding the time. I do miss my team of teenage idiots: Dustin, Saul, Rosemary, and Talos. It was supposed to have a really tragic ending too, which I don't often get to write.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I often receive compliments on how human I make my characters feel, which is the highest honor anyone could give. I've been told my dialogue frequently flows smoothly too.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Conciseness. Why is this post so long omg.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Do it carefully and with necessity. Maybe a character is bilingual and blends languages, so it's part of their characterization. Maybe a password or spell needs to be said in another language because it's old or pretentious. It can work, but it can also be easy to mess up. I personally avoid writing dialogue in languages I don't have a good grasp of, or I try to consult other people if I do (not Google Translate, which sucks).

There's also the matter of if the POV character even understands the language being spoken. If they don't, then I don't write the language out (unless it's a phrase the character is going to learn later on). In these instances, it makes more sense to write something like, "The man muttered a phrase in a language she didn't recognize," or "She fired off something in Spanish, the words too quick to catch."

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars the Clone Wars, baby! I was like ten or eleven. Never published, but my worldbuilding for that longfic (a saga, more like) was insanely elaborate. Alas, another story for the WIP graveyard.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Eventually, I want to get back to my Skyrim WIP, which includes a main Dragonborn/Marcurio ship. Maybe even with a little Dragonborn/Serana infidelity on the side (which Marcurio absolutely does not deserve, the poor guy).

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I mean, I have to say The Mad Witch, don't I? That fic is where my community is, where every time I post a chapter I have a ton of people who get excited about it with me. It is the story I think about constantly, that I have spent literal years writing and daydreaming about. No matter what I've written before or will write since, this will be the defining fic in my journey as a writer.

That, and I have a special fondness for "Case by Case." I just think it's neat.

[chuckle-lore]

Episode 5- February 27th, 2021- 10th Chuckle Lore 🎉

Lore(?)-

20:28 Charlie plays golf and Ted spies from afar. Every stroke Charlie goes over par, Ted breaks a finger/shoots a puppy (wether he does both of these or switches off from one to another is unclear)

36:29 Schlatt is stuck in the atomic cube. What exactly is the atomic cube? I’m not sure, all I know is that it also has atomic locks.

There used to be a fourth member that no one else remembers

37:47 Charlie mentioning money reboots Schlatt

49:32 Charlie is in the Void Dome and he can’t remember the face of his own mother

The reason I added (?) to the lore is because I’m not sure if I can consider it canon. Throughout the episode Charlie mentions that is isn’t a episode recording but instead a practice run to see what jokes they will include for the real episode and in the end Ted reveals that he was secretly recording the whole time which leaves me in a pickle. Schlatt and Charlie were playing along with all the bits/potential lore BUT that was when they thought this wasn’t an official episode, the validity of this episode’s lore is rocky at best but there is some lore that is much more definite…

With the reveal of Ted secretly recording episode five, we get more firm confirmation of Ted’s morally dubious and manipulative character.

Also Charlie making various remarks about how he was probably not going to be in the next “real recording” shows how much he did not want to be there and was most likely an attempt to leave the podcast all together. Not to go all Matpat mode over here but it seems fairly likely that Ted is making Charlie be in cs against his free will and possibly Schlatt too to an extent considering both men have discussed their distaste of Ted in previous episodes (mainly episode 2). I believed that Schlatt is under a contract and is being paid just enough to stay meanwhile Charlie is more peer pressured by Ted to keep going.

Thoughts:

Jumping back into an older episode after watching a streak of the newer episodes definitely threw me off. The editing in this at times almost felt like they were jangling keys in front of me so I can keep watching and the worst part is that it worked. There would be times that I would start to zone out and all of a sudden Ted has Hatsune Miku’s hair or a sound effect goes off and I am paying attention again.

Also this episode put in perspective how much current cs shoves in sex stuff. The whole I was just waiting for some kind of sex joke or ten minute long gag about how Schlatt wants to put his junk into something and to my surprise, there was nothing extremely explicit, I don’t even think anyone said the word fuck in the whole episode. The only explicit reference we get is when Schlatt moans after high-fiving Charlie too hard and it was the funniest part in the whole episode. This is probably a hot take from me but I think cs is becoming over saturated with sexual stuff and bits like the high-five moan would not of land half as hard if it were placed into current episodes. If anyone wants to have a discussion about this I am more than happy to talk to y’all.

Overall I think this episode was fine, it had its iconic moments but I don’t think I would actively search for it, 7/10, :)

Things I noted:

I miss the fanart in the beginning of the episodes. I want it back so bad.

Schlatt’s voice sounds higher(?) than his voice in newer episodes

Ted’s hallway kept changing colors

Older episodes were DEFINITELY caters to visual watchers

I’m so upset that I can’t tell if this episode is canon or not because there being a fourth member that was erased from existence would of been so cool for the lore.

(Original notes + favorite comment interaction? under the cut)

Funfact: I can’t draw Schlatt for the life of me

[funarisjournal]

Confession Talk! Manga Edition 2

It's been a bit, had work to deal with, but now I can sit down and write more about how Valentine's Day played out in Vol. 4. Again, if you haven't read it yet, I'll put my essay under a cut!

I talked about Kasuga's POV last time. Now it's time to look at it through Nomoto's!

As we know, Nomoto has realized her feelings and put it into words sooner than Kasuga. She has been falling head over heels for the woman every time they hang out but trying really hard not to show it out of fear of weirding Kasuga out and possibly lose their friendship. As we have learned in Vol. 2, friendships are REALLY important to Nomoto. She's basically lost all of hers over time and has been alone for a long time!

The fact that "But we're both girls!" is NOT a factor in her worries about confessing is an interesting one, but I get it. As a fellow demisexual, that never crossed into my mind when I had those crushes on my best friends growing up, or when I fell in love with my wife. My top worry was, if I were to say something about it, would I lose my friends? I already weirded out my bestie from high school by liking yuri, so I always kept it to myself. (I'm glad that Leigh confessed first, though, because by then I WAS too scared to reveal my intimate feelings)

Anyway, back to Nomoto. She was the one who initiated the Valentine's Day get-together back in Vol. 3, and she's both nervous but excited. She puts on a neat food idea with that hot plate fondue...

I like to point this tiny bit out. Nomoto loves her booze, but she knows if she were to have some today, something weird will happen, or she'll fall asleep, and she doesn't want that to happen. All that within that simple response, huh?

Anyway, the meal is amazing. They have a moment of coincidence, sparking a little heart fluttering...and a wish that maybe, just maybe, there really could be something more.

But oh. Something weird DOES happen. Kasuga announces she plans to move out of her apartment soon.

Nomoto's world starts crashing down. As she hears WHY Kasuga is moving, it makes sense to her, logically. And, out of her love for Kasuga, forget romance, forget attraction, out of her love for this woman, she wants to help her.

...well, maybe.

Nomoto is known to be a little selfish. She has a tendency to start enthusiastically taking over things or get chattery about her feelings. Things happened so suddenly, she was NOT expecting this outcome at all!

Kasuga moving away means she won't be nearby. She may not even be able to visit anymore. Just like that, she has lost her dearest friend, and it wasn't even due to her personal feelings. She's just...moving on, like all her previous friends did. Things are changing, for the worst, and she is scared.

Her emotions are running wild. Her logical side takes a backseat. It's there, but it no longer has control. Nomoto has one last hope here. If she doesn't get it out, she will regret everything in the future.

Nomoto is aware this was pretty much It. She was going to lose Kasuga with that move, anyway, but there was some hope that maybe, just maybe confessing may keep her here, close to her. If anything, her feelings are released, these feelings she had been bottling up for so long. If the worst-case scenario happened, she would be able to continue, maybe, but she'd be a much more somber woman afterward. At least she'd have Yako to talk to, right?

....Then we find out that Kasuga hadn't even finished her own comments from earlier. There was a part 2 to the whole thing! She wants Nomoto to room with her!

...OH! Nomoto, there you go yapping nervously and making mountains out of molehills! Hahaha, you can't even blame the alcohol on this one, this was all you! How their relationship will recover from this, she doesn't have a clue, but it SEEMS like it'll be okay, right??

But then...a double whammy?!

Kasuga says the feelings are mutual?! Can Nomoto's heart take all of this so fast?! She's been on an emotional roller coaster this whole time, I think she wants off now, to be honest!

What else is there to do, though?? Think, Nomoto, think!

Now, you would think, if this was a typical yuri, she would finally just get up and kiss Kasuga, huh? Well, this ISN'T your typical yuri. These ladies have grown up not really dealing with romantic relationships all their lives, not really caring about it, really. They are literal babies with 0 experience, so Nomoto does the one thing she can think of...

And it's reciprocated.

Congratulations, Nomoto. Your secret feelings no longer have to be secret. This journey you have gone through in the past few months has lead you to this. You not only have a girlfriend now, but the friendship is as strong as ever!

And omg, you actually held her HAND!! Pretty sure this was their first-ever moment of skinship!

[spinelli-gemelli]

Is Emma Really THAT bad?

(A Degrassi Essay about Emma Nelson)

Part 1

As of last September, I've been a member of Reddit, and, in traditional Reddit fashion, I have joined subreddits in topics of my interests. Suffice to say, I am all UP in that Degrassi community. It's a drama party in the best way. If you're out in the Degrassi wild too, you may have noticed that there are a handful of characters that the fans love, and I mean LOVE, to hate. There's a rotation of girls that get most of the heat, which I will refer to as "The Unholy Trinity". As the name suggests, this Trinity consists of three most disliked Degrassi girls, who are the following:

Ashley Kerwin

Emma Nelson

Clare Edwards

Honorable mentions go to Ellie, Becky, and Maya. There is also an occasional Liberty disdain for those who feel brazen enough to criticize a black character even when they are not represented well in the show (not to say that fans aren't allowed to criticize black characters: all is fair game in the fictional universe). This post will focus on Emma. I will say, that, out of the three girls mentioned in the trio, Emma probably gets the least amount of hate, though honestly between her and Ashley it's a toss up depending on the season. What inspired me to write this essay was a YouTube compilation video entitled, "Emma nelson being the worst Degrassi Character for 5 minutes straight" by NysClips, which I will link here.

First things first: I'm not coming after the uploader of this video, nor do I know her personally, so this is NOT an attack on her. In fact, I like this video: the editing does what it should do in a compilation video. She includes the set up to the line, the punchline (or action), then cuts to the next clip. This person also doesn't ruin the humor by smothering the scenes in a bunch of memes and annoying sound effects, which I appreciate a LOT. She understands the concept of less is more. I am simply analyzing what the author deems as Emma's worst moments and will determine for myself whether I believe each moment in the video is truly that bad. Keep in mind that I am only being half serious, so hopefully the tone of the essay reflects as such. This is just a fun little argument with me disagreeing with the "Emma is the worst" stance that fans tend to take. It goes without saying this is an opinion piece, so you don't have to agree with any of my takes. Now that that's out of the way, let's take a look at all of the moments in the video. There's a lot to cover, so I will space them out in multiple posts.

1. "Liberty, shut up for once!"

We're coming out of the gate hot! Emma is completely over Liberty's blabbering and was rude to the poor girl as a result. This is from the epsiode "I Want Candy" (3x20). Emma is in the B plot, and here she believes that her stepfather's chemotherapy has failed him, and, as a result, she is on edge...until Alex's meddling pushes her over the top (a story for another time). Needless to say, with her belief that Snake was going to die soon, she wasn't in a healthy state of mind, so when Liberty is perky and geeking out over their Canadian Geography class, Emma is just not in the mood for it, so she snaps at Liberty in the hallway. I felt bad for Liberty at this moment. She didn't deserve that XD. Was Emma being rude as hell? Absolutely. Was it the worst thing ever? Nah.

2. "You're dressing like an idiot."

This moment is from season three's "U Got the Look" (3x03). In one scene, Emma is being supportive of Manny's change in her image, and in the next scene, she tells her friend that she's "dressing like an idiot". While it seems like Emma is talking out of both sides of her mouth, what's missing, however, is the context. Manny is trying to impress Sully, her current crush, and after her conversation with Paige, she was convinced that the only way to get boy attention was to alter her image to a more revealing style of wardrobe. Emma responded positively to it because it hadn't gotten to Manny's head at first. Then Manny seemed to be stringing J.T. along, doing a test trial on her new image to see if it would work on her actual crush, not realizing that J.T. was taking a genuine interest in her, and that he was hurt by Sully shooing him off. In addition to that, the principal had advised her about the dress code and how she wasn't allowed to have her undergarments visible over her clothes, but instead of changing her outfit, she simply removed her underwear altogether. She was sporting low riders with no panties. Keep in mind that this girl is only supposed to be fourteen, and the actress herself was even younger! Emma was simply calling Manny out for her inflated sense of self. In my opinion, Emma was not being a bad friend here: she was being honest with her.

3. Frappes & Paige > Manny & Liberty

This is from the episode "Mercy Street". Paige invites Emma to hang out with the grade elevens at The Dot after Emma tells Paige that she can organize a protest to drive Rick out of the school. I have an entire essay series dedicated to this topic, so if you want to read about my takes on the Rick content, start there. Here, we're looking at Emma's remark to Manny and Liberty as she walked past them in the girl's bathroom. "Gotta go sip a frappe with Paige. Have fun in your hot tub." Again, context is key. Manny and Liberty have iced Emma out since Emma was being unkind to Liberty again in the episode "King of Pain" (4x03). Basically Emma broke up with Chris, and Liberty took an interest in him, but Emma thought that by Chris dating Liberty after Emma, Emma would somehow look bad. Manny told Liberty about it, and Liberty told Emma off as a result. As a way of getting back at them, Emma gloats about being able to hang out with the cool kids in an unsolicited comment. It was totally unnecessary, but at worst it's a scoff and an eye roll. Sadly, this moment in the girl's bathroom is not enough to give her a prison sentence.

4. "Next time can we try asking before trespassing?"

Can you believe that little twelve-year-old Emma was talking to her mom like that? This was funny to me. Emma's mom, Spike, and Kaitlyn are using the computer in Emma's room, and Emma, clearly a grown up lady in the seventh grade, does not approve. This is from the series premiere of The Next Generation "Mother and Child Reunion" (1x01). I don't have much to say here: Emma was being a typical rude twelve-year-old who was out of pocket with her mom, but Spike quickly took care of it by basically telling her not to be rude. The end, lol.

5. "You're wrong. I don't care, Sean."

I'll just come out and say it: this moment doesn't belong in the video XD. This is taken from "Here Comes Your Man Part 2" (6x02). Sean had just committed a hit and run and was looking to find refuge at Emma's place. Emma wasn't going to protect him from the law after committing such a serious crime, and Sean wound up being turned into the cops after what happened. She made the right call here. Sean needed to take responsibility for his actions and to stop running away from them. Keep in mind that Emma, even though she had made out with Sean, was in a relationship with Peter, though they were currently on a break. We know Peter is not quality boyfriend material and frames Sean by planting drugs in his locker, causing his expulsion from Degrassi. This is a moment that infuriates me still, which I'm sure those of you fans can also relate to. The fact still remains that the decision to street race was also Sean's, not just Peter's, and it was a stupid one. This was intense to watch, but I was proud of Emma for standing her ground here. This moment doesn't come close to the other shady things she's done.

6. Emma Trips Rick at The Dot

Again, I'm focusing on the Emma side of this scenario. I have ten other posts dedicated to Rick, so read those if you want to learn about my takes on him. This moment is from the episode "Mercy Street" (4x04). Quick context: Emma created a protest to try and pressure Rick out of the school; Rick approached her later in the hall to try and donate over five hundred dollars to the cause in hopes of being forgiven; his donation is ultimately rejected by Alex; Alex then tells Paige of the moment in the hall, causing Paige to accuse Emma of feeling sorry for Rick. In order to prove to Paige that she was on her side, Emma ignores Rick as he's greeting her at The Dot, then goes on trip him as he's holding a coffee cup, causing him to fall and spill hot coffee over himself. This was absolutely a douche move, but I wouldn't say that this was her worst moment, even if Rick wasn't causing any trouble during this scene. It all boils down to the fact that Rick had been a terrible person in the past, and everyone was making him pay for his actions as a result. Karma!

7. Who Was There for Emma in the Hospital?

This moment combines scenes from episodes "True Colors" (6x03) and "Our Lips Are Sealed Part 2" (5x16). As a side note, the two-part episode covering Emma's E.D. is so heavy to watch, especially considering that the actress, Miriam McDonald, and her sister were suffering/had suffered from eating disorders in real life. From episode 6x03, Emma says to Manny at the masquerade dance that she shouldn't care about Sean's imprisonment the way she does when it was Peter who was there for her during her darkest time. Then we cut to the scene in "Our Lips Are Sealed" showing Manny beside Emma's hospital bed. This was tastefully done, I must admit, and I know that the YouTuber was being humorous here, but if Emma was hospitalized for having a panic attack brought on by her not eating, it's safe to say she stayed in the hospital at least a few days. That's a long enough time frame to assume that Peter had come in and visited her to support her. We as the viewers just didn't see this moment. Also, as the name "True Colors" suggests, this is the episode where Emma learns the truth about the drugs found in Sean's locker and how fans find it distasteful that Emma would be with Peter after everything he did to her best friend Manny. We're still not discussing until later.

8. But What will they Think of her?

Ah, a classic from the episode "King of Pain" (4x03). If we're thinking of Emma's worst moments, this one is near the top. In old fashioned mean girl behavior, Emma tries to interfere between Chris and Liberty's flirting with each other. Her reasoning is that people won't think highly of her if Chris started dating Liberty after Emma. The implication being that Liberty is an upgrade from Emma--a thought that mortifies our Mary Sue of the franchise. "You wouldn't be [embarrassed]?" Emma would go on to say to Manny. "What are people gonna think of me if Chris goes out with Liberty next?" Yowch. What did Liberty ever do to you, Em? I'll answer that: nothing! This marked the beginning of Emma's mean girl era, and what a time it was. She was definitely a jerk here, no questions asked.

9. "He Does Go For 'Girls Like That'"

Moment from the episode "Venus Part 1" (5x01). This was directed at Manny and not in a flattering way. While it wasn't Emma who said it, she was hanging out with the girl who did, and she did NOTHING to stand up for her friend. Emma Nelson, the girl with a strong moral compass, who has a backbone, just stood there and let her best friend be insulted like that? All because she was intimidated by the idea that her crush, Peter, liked Manny better at the time? Noticing a common theme here? I don't have much to say here, since it's a no brainer that Emma was the jerk by being the bystander and letting her friend get put down, especially since she is written to be the one to stand up for what's right. Emma let Manny down here. Now after that moment, Emma does ask if Manny was okay "Manny, what is going on? Have you been crying?", so it isn't like she walked away from Manny after she let her get insulted, but still. Not a good look for our little Blondie.

10. "I Asked Him, and He Said he Didn't do that!"

This clip is also from "True Colors" (6x03). Emma is talking about Peter and the drugs at this point. Sean is trying to tell Emma that Peter planted the drugs in his locker, yet Emma is having a hard time believing it. I get that she wants to think that the guy she's dating wouldn't be so slimy, and I would empathize with her if the guy she was with wasn't Peter, aka, the guy that leaked a video of her best friend's bosom all over the internet for the world to see. When it comes to this kid, Emma's brain leaves the building. At this moment with Sean, while she is being extremely naive, I wouldn't call her a jerk since she wasn't the one who planted drugs in Sean's locker, nor was she responsible for landing him in prison. It still doesn't make her look good, though.

To prevent this from becoming an extremely long post, I will stop at the two minute mark of the video. Of the ten moments I featured in this post, I only take issue with numbers two and five as I consider both these moments for Emma to be in character for her and standing up for what she believes in. For numbers seven and ten, Emma was being naive about Peter's nature, so they're not terrible moments from Emma, tho considering that she knows how Peter treated Manny makes her look shady. The others are fine for the topic of the video, though some moments are worse than others. That means that out of the ten clips we covered, Emma was a nuisance eighty percent of the time. So far not bad. More to come in the future.

[sofipitch]

1, 2, 6, 8!

1. Faves of the year:

Metal from Heaven by August Clarke: Group of lesbians who normally rob trains now have to pretend to be a part of the aristocracy. Also being a radium girl gives you radium powers. This one is dark and gritty and definitely self-indulgent. It also has "weird prose" of which I am an enjoyer but milage may vary

She Who Became the Sun and He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker Chan: Incredibly character driven story, like you can read the backcover premises but that likely won't be what sticks. Every character is so desperate to prove themselves, and vary if they are just desperate or full of self loathing. If you like a character driven story choose this

Bloom by Delilah Dawson: Hannibal but lesbians and cottagecore aesthetics as the glue trap instead of whatever it is in that show. What gets me is a mom wrote this for her daughter. Pulpy and fun, food descriptions that made me go home and bake bread

Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson: Multiverse has been beaten to death in the movie world but this one manages to be fresh and interesting, mostly concerned with the idea of nature vs nurture, what makes us who we are, etc. In this universe multiverse travel is possible but only if the version of you in that universe is dead. So what does it say about you if you are dead in most of them?

2. Flops of the year:

I collected all of Nightmare magazine's Women/Queers/POC Destroy Horror special editions and finally read my last one, Women Destroy Horror. I think if you are making a point that women deserve a seat at the genre writing table, maybe put forward some better stories. (This does not apply to the Joyce Carole Oates story which was up there for most disgusting thing I've read this year, she can stay). Every essay I can't even call analysis, it basically just lists things, again maybe have something interesting to say other than "lists of famous female horror authors" and "list of famous female horror protags"

Virtue by Marquis de Sade: I found this at a used bookstore and wanted to see what the hype was around this guy, worst book of his to choose like nothing happens, not even anything really all that scandalous. Dangerous Liaisons but bad

6. Dead Dove Do Not Eat: Fluids by May Leitz, this is the best extreme horror I've read, that genre is often poorly written and known for revealing a lot about it's authors by what characters they most often brutalize. But this one is truly refreshing, about the abusive relationships that can form when you've been isolated to made to feel unlovable. But I read this at the same time as a friend and this was too much for her, she also didn't like that one of narrators are straight up unlikeable, so enter with caution

8: Blorbo of the year: I think Esek from These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs would do numbers, evil woman with a systematic brutality and glee at the suffering of others. She is truly fun and you know the author had fun. You get these glimpses of some insecurity or something beneath the mask, but I think it does a good job of showing that but not wanting to use it as a way to make her palatable to the audience, only used to make her real. If you like her it will be due to moral corruption. This book is by no means perfect, but it does have interesting characters. I both get and don't get why it doesn't have a huge fandom, I think its flaws can be found in other popular media too (think Dune)

[binahfaes]

a collection of Thoughts on haru's hidden complexities

(originally a bunch of threads from my priv twt where i ramble to myself, essentially— collated and edited. long post ahead.)

on haru, sayuri and what Exactly is his whole deal anyway?

i think it's safe to say that for me and many others, haru as a character felt enigmatic at best, and plain underwritten at worst and very divisive lol. but, i do think within the series we're given some interesting things to work with when inferring haru's reasonings for being with leviathan, his motives, and the nature of his obsession with jamie (before it, in my opinion, shifts to something "more simple," as claude observes).

to start with, a quote:

"it was haru's apathy that fascinated [Jamie] so much. but was it apathy, or something else something more dangerous?

it's interesting because lottie/sayuri believe partially that haru was brainwashed into joining leviathan....and as far as we know, that's not true. claude doesn't use the hamelin formulaon members! but in another way they're not Wrong.

it IS claude's manipulation + his ability to appeal to vulnerable teenagers base desires and wants—he promises to haru that of being a hero (is what he says anyway) and generates this obsession with jamie in haru that inadvertently becomes haru's sole motivation.

but what EXACTLY is going through haru's mind when he joins?

is it that sayuri is so capable that haru feels obsolete? pushed to the side as a partizan? and MAYBE he thinks jamie can fill that role as someone he can protect...?

in PEA, it says something along the lines of "the obsession Claude had encouraged in Haru had turned to something more simple...a boy who felt unwanted by his master [and] fancied himself a hero, so claude gave him a prince to save."

from this we can easily infer a big part of the reason really is that he felt like sayuri didn't need him, and in haru's mind this probably felt like a fairly righteous cause. i mean, haru can relate to jamie as a partizan—perhaps he sees parts of himself in jamie too. claude definitely spun it to him as a worthy endeavour. he might have said something like "oh you're so unsatisfied in your current life and sayuri doesn't need you, but if you joined leviathan you would most certainly be needed," and haru, probably feeling directionless and vulnerable, saw that offer and thought yeah actually that sounds Good.

and perhaps, sayuri was all haru really had. seeing as he's a partizan it's possible he doesn't have a relationship with his family/is an orphan, and I THINK her aunt dying (if it was as recent as i think it is) maybe led to her changing and becoming more distant, effectively shutting haru out (that and her parents divorcing; god poor sayuri).

in a sense, jamie—or the idea of him at first—was all haru had. this all, i think, gives us a bit more context as to how he acted during the Reveal in PAH despite manipulating jamie—the flash of genuine hurt when jamie found out Everything, because of the possibility he would lose him.

how all of this, informs haru's actions

in addition, reading with PEA in mind and the small incites we get from it does actually put a lot of haru's choices into context. whereas before i was thinking oh no poor jamie and his trust issues, I can see a little from haru's perspective too now.

for haru, his top priority was saving jamie. for him, the end goal justified the means. even tho his methods certainly were not pure or ethical. he has to deceive jamie for some time, yes, but he does also come to very earnestly like him. he says he was planning to tell jamie everything, and i do actually believe that to be a genuine remark because beforehand he'd been dropping clues.

there is, of course, also something so tragic about it, on both sides— jamie's never felt seen and understood the way haru sees him, and haru very desperately wants to be needed and in a way jamie is all he has (so there's a lot at stake for him).

not only that, but despite the illusion of free choice and liberation claude gives his subordinates, haru's just another one of claude's pawns. his "obsession" with jamie is apart of claude's plan, and of course claude has no regard for haru's emotional state—in fact he uses said emotions to his advantage.

i think parsing these details out ultimately renders haru more a sympathetic, and comprehensible character. of course, he's still flawed and antagonistic, but to me that makes him a more compelling character, not less! i like the idea of a character who does lie, and does manipulate, but underneath all that there is pure intent, no matter how dishonestly they started out. i also think that, in haru's case, it could've been executed better.

[wonkyreads]

All Fired Up by M. K. England

3 out of 5 scented candles

When Nic fled across the country to go to graduate school, she was also running from her feelings for her best friend, Skylar. She comes back to Seattle two years later to a bright pink, glittery box - an elaborate invitation - and immediately assumes the worst. Kira, a firefighter desperate for a promotion in the neighborhood she grew up in and newer to the friend group, is terrified of what Skylar’s announcement and plans mean. She and Nic put their heads together to scheme up ways to make their best friend realize she needs to stay right there with them as emotions flare and relationships grow.

This is a great romance for someone who loves an over the top and slightly cheesy angle, which, unfortunately, is just not me. There are heavy emotional conversations and a lot of miscommunication between everyone in this large friend group. There are secrets and reveals. Frankly, some crazy decisions get made here and they had me absolutely ranting to a friend who had no idea what on earth I was going on about.

All Fired Up is both funny and heartfelt, but at least the first quarter of it was far too melodramatic for me. Honest to god, Nic stares at and waxes poetic about the box on her doorstep for what felt like ages right at the top of this book. That’s not the kind of story I’m normally sticking around for, but the dramatics mellowed out a degree not long after. I’ve enjoyed England’s writing in the past (I was obsessed with their YA sci-fi The Disasters when it came out in 2018) so I was glad that eventually that’s what All Fired up settled into as well. England’s prose is comfortable and fun and often reminded me of Ali Hazelwood’s romances (which I do enjoy, but recognize are divisive).

There were some character development flaws, namely that hardly any of the characters felt fleshed out to any satisfying degree. They hovered around the corners of the narrative for the most part, their absences usually excused by jokes. Willow’s probably a witch so they’re out in the woods somewhere. Grace is in the middle of a work crunch. You know how it goes. They just could have been more than cardboard cut outs of characters. I’m also just not sure if all of the choices made with Skylar’s character were necessary or if they even make sense. It felt like more development was needed there.

Lastly, and this might just be an ARC problem that gets fixed before the publication date, but there are a lot of little continuity errors. Little things that should be picked up easily in an edit. There were the normal little line edit issues, but these felt a little larger than that and were worth noting as I’m unsure how many will get fixed and they’re the kind of issues that trip me up.

All Fired Up is a fun romance, though, and I’m always going to welcome more queer and STEM works onto my shelves. It’s a little zany for me personally, but I know plenty of people who look for this specific vibe and I’m glad to see this filling that niche. I’ll be looking forward to England’s future works as well.

All Fired Up is set to release on April 29, 2025!

{Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for providing me this eARC in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions here are my own.}

[emweii-blog]

The reason why i love…

Disclaimer !!

I wrote this on July 28, 2023 on Google Docs, now I'm posting it on Dec 05, 2024 meaning whatever were my intentions and emotions as I was writing this means nothing anymore as I have gone through in my life with him continuously after, and this is just proof that my relationship with my partner isn't always butterflies and rainbows. Posting this as well is a reminder for me of how strong I am to be able to show honesty in this vast online world, considering that I've always been too careful not to be revealing of any cracks in our relationship. So, if you're reading this, thank you and please don't judge us too much ^^ we are definitely okay now and life always goes on!

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I love my family and friends. It is a natural occurrence in every individual being to feel this certain way to people they are surrounded with. I am lucky enough to be given a chance to feel and share this to them. The love becomes different however when it comes to a certain ‘someone’. This person whom we would pick above everything else. Someone who we want to be with for the rest of our lives, no doubt. We badly want to take care of this person and solve all their problems, because we love them enough not to see them hurting. To be able to laugh and also cry with them, to be with their ups and downs, through thick and thin, till death do us part? Yes, all of those are what makes them special when it comes to love.

I have loved a lot in my 18 years of living. Some I even thought it was, but silly me, it was just puppy love or temporary butterflies in the stomach. I wasn’t even planning to love. BUT in the summer of 2020, midst pandemic. I met my ‘someone’.

He was not what I expected. First, he was a year younger than me. Second, we met through a game and i think it’s honestly embarrassing. Third, he’s not my type. Fourth, we didn’t click at all at first. We were so different, and I only expected friendship. Not even for long.

This guy, as of writing this, I have written him so many letters. I did powerpoints, I edited and finished his pile of homeworks during his junior to senior high school years. I have met his parents(i was his first) I have also given him a lot of gifts(mix of bought and my stuff) We went on lots and lots of dates. Achieved so many ‘firsts’ together. But what eally was surprising to me the most, is the consistent love I have for him.

That love..

Is what fuels me to talk to him everyday, to wake up happy because Yes! Another day of existing with him. I give him all my time and attention, it makes me so happy. I give this boy every cell and soul left of me. My heart, I no longer call it mine but his. He owns me in every way and we deserve each other.

Never was a day that I was happy without him. Never was a week that we didn’t play or watch a game. Never was a month passed that we did not meet. We were getting closer, it was what we wanted the very beginning. 

We were not perfect. The negatives overpowered in our relationship. We lacked in so much ways, we did not meet both ways for most of it. We got angry, we cried, we get hurt, we stop, we talk, we beg, we fix, we make amends. One thing that both of us couldn’t do, was that one of us never got better.

I believe that this was something serious, my future is on him and everything of me. I gave my all and everything. I was with him at his worst, I have begged for years to be with his best. But somehow, I seemingly don’t deserve it yet. 

Where did I lack?

Why was I not enough?

Was I no better?

Did I not deserve it?

Overthinking, Trust issues, anger management issues, and insecurity. All of those corrupted my mind as he continued to hurt me and betray my love. He never got better. I am still wounded and never healed. I blame myself and changed myself. But it was never my fault.

Is he still my ‘someone’? 

Today, this marks my process of healing alone. 

I vow to only answer that question when I am okay and ready to love again. I define my ‘someone’ to be the following:

He has shared the strongest love with me

Has shared his deepest secrets with me

Has taught/shown me how to comfort him

Let me knows every issue/s he has

Let me be his anchor and home

Fully trusts me

These are what I believe I am for. To be someone’s everything. I only need my ‘someone’ and I’ll be his everything. That’s my love.

I am lost, but when I am ready once again I will love him unconditionally. I will choose the right one this time when I’m ready again, whoever he may be.