#the ectasy of gold

[duchessvultjag]

fucking insane how the good the bad and the ugly is one of the most influential pieces of modern media but whenever i try to talk to about it with people my age they act like it's some weird obscure movie that only i have heard of

[d3adite]

hehehe got the good the bad and the ugly soundtrack on cd..... HURRAY!!!!!!!!!

[lovely-menza]

Maidennnnn!! So happy for you and your brother, and there is still one to go!

I read your tags on the post and rest assured that even I in the movie theatre grinned when Day started bc after the intro tape, when the first notes started playing the ppl in the pit SCREAMED and BOUNCED, they were super excited! And I was yes, YES, we all do love this song so much (even if most ppl don't care for DM *sigh*).

Anyway, it makes me even more happier that you and your brother were among them :))

Njsjskdj JINNNNN!! it was a pivotal moment in the set and well from my part I can say that I missed the DM songs in the list (thank you Lars u thought about us) and since those are all songs from my childhood and at least from my bro's early teens they all carry that special weight!!

People might not care about DM in general for this or other reason but Metallica absolutely KILLS performing those songs and they're *mature* people jshsksjsk think of it as this is the first generation of 80s teen metalheads getting this far, and they're absolutely fantastic live in performance, and one cannot just ignore these songs while being played, after all you pay the goddamn ticket to see the full show ndhsjdjljd but YES I left that place happy as fuck :-)

[newyorkreject]

Imagine Being Loved By Me

I can be the clawing,

The scratching slowly trailing down your form.

My face following down your chest, your stomach,

The ache of wanting more.

And I can be the high,

The high you once endured.

And, oh, imagine that

Then realize I can be so much more.

I can be the teeth grazing your glowing flesh,

The markings from my nails like pathways

To the skin on your neck.

And I can breathe the life into you,

The life you have forgot

Or the life you wish to forget.

I can be the religion,

I can be that book to heal your soul.

I don't want your money,

Your praise

is my gold.

Yet, I'll be the one on my knees,

Looking up, ready to plead.

That knot in your stomach

And the pull of your heart on your sleeve.

Imagine being loved by me.

I can be the sleepless nights

and the conversations with your bedrooms four walls.

I can leave you in astonishment

as if I was Jesus Christ,

as if I was Saul.

And I can be the wild untamed animal

growing restless

inside the ribs of your chest.

I am the questioning,

of whether or not,

i am truly the best.

imagine being loved by me.

I am the crying, the tiredness,

the syphoning of love from your soul.

You once thought was enjoyable

but has quickly felt like

bleeding out.

Just the

slow

constant

dull

taking.

Oh, you can be my patient,

flat lining on the table.

And I am just your vision,

the great vision of beyond,

as you get resusitated.

The feeling of almost being free of it all

just to get yanked back

Im the sweet release,

beauitful ectasy,

just give your soul to me.

And I will burn

this

empty

evil

world

down

in your name.

I will carve your name

onto

my

very

skin.

Yet, i cant control my fire,

and often times

you get burnt.

Imagine being loved by me.

The lighter to the world,

the one sparking the dynamite,

leaving you blind.

[lightdancer1]

A bit of original fiction:

i-nishi-Azarath

i-nishi-Azarath

i-nishi-Azarath.

The chants were what woke them up. Humanity had discovered another dimension, a brilliant golden paradise, where all was golden and ivory, a shining beautiful realm that had proven an inexorable temptation. That had led to this expedition. To the experimental use of an interdimensional drive. To the realization when they entered that it was a trap, that the dimension was alive, that something animated every part of it and that they had been lured into a trap.

i-nishi-Azarath

i-nishi-Azarath

All are one in the Azar

The chant changed. The fourteen survivors, chained to chairs, looked up. The inhabitants of this place looked human enough outwardly. Yet they were not. Little tells, eyes that shone like stars, faces that swelled and became lumpen and then shrank. The maddened revelry. This place of beauty was one of horror, and the worst part was merely breathing here was changing them.

The arch-priest, whose outfit was very like that of a twisted mockery of a Cardinal's robes turned and then there was a grisly moment as the flesh swelled and something rose, not the size of a man but a twenty-five foot colossus made still larger by armor that was dark green, gauntlets seeming to breathe as four starlight eyes shone and sharp teeth gleamed.

Mine the hands that heal,

mine the hands that kill,

mine the hands that stilled the wine-dark sea

Mine is the lightning-flash!

Mine is the House of Pain!

The giant squatted and those eyes looked at them.

The conqueror sought to make fair walls and to mine gold and ivory, in a manner that would make them worthless.

Twin voices echoed, one a dulcet voice with an accent that was Spanish, or proto-Spanish. Sultry and one that drew the ear to listen. The other a roaring howling gale that smashed through minds and left them twitching and bleeding, blood flowing from noses and eyes and ears, near-epileptic fits.

You saw ivory and gold and like all the little maggots you are, the skulking apes of Terra could not resist the temptation to grasp what is beyond you. I was once one of your kind, born in the Dispersion in the land of Sepharad to a woman named Julia. She was of a people who worshiped one lord, the Holy One, Blessed Be He. She betrayed her kind and her people, and turned to false gods and when a real one stepped out of shadows, why she played the whore.

The monster grinned.

Julia Domna, apostate, encountered a son of the stars who took a daughter of man for a wife and now here, a world you sense is me, as I am it. The very air mutates you, but don't worry. As with this cardinal whose flesh I wear you shall remain yourselves. All the great dreams made real, utopia become chains with blades attached. I have devoured stars and galaxies and universes and species of so many kinds your little minds would break with it, but I too am half your maggot-kind, the entropic worms that gnaw and fester within the guttering corpses of the lands you call home.

Even in madness, I know that which I am half thereof. The other half, well....

The creature shrugged.

And then their eyes began to glow and their teeth became sharp and they too chanted

All are one in the Azar

And then they were freed, and the power faded and they were on their knees. They rose from them, staring as the monster still looked at them.

As I said, you retain your minds. And now you will return, on your starship. Fourteen knights surviving out of seventy-six, so small a number and such arrogance. An entire planet and your greatest doomsday device....

An object, held in the giant's hand and then with a light twist it opened it and the shining core of a weapon was held up and swallowed, the creature humming.

No, they had eaten it too and the God on the Gilded Throne's gaze flickered through all of them and all was glory and ectasy and agony......

The starship returned, fourteen survivors. They were strong, and they were healthy. And when they spoke the air began to change and strange things to crawl within the bodies of those that heard and slowly ivory and gold began to creep out from them.

[thecomamachine]

Vedi, il mondo si divide in due categorie: chi ha la pistola carica e chi scava. Tu scavi.

[error84]

speaking of rdr i think if i ever played that game i’d go ballistic because some of that games soundtrack plays in frontier town

[attheexactlyrighttimeandplace]

Following the link i shared of this sexy and superb fan art of Galadriel and Elendil,

these tags showed up under my post:

Oh my friend, my brother/sister in hell in who joined us in the deep well of eternally unsatisfied longing that this ship is, from which we'll never draw any water,

i'm absolutely convinced that she would jump him right here and right now if she was entirely free to do so, and not captive of the minority of dumb writers who opposed this ship for shallow reasons (and finally won against the rest of the writers room)!

I mean did you see how fast she answered:

"Did you say ride?"

You have to imagine here the gif of this line that i can't post because apparently it doesn't exist, though i searched everywhere on my blog and the tags....

when he asked what was she seeking, in Adar (ep3) during their scene in the harbour, just after he spoke few words in Quenya.

Telling her that not everyone hated her in elfic language and that Miriel must have thought it was a punishment to give him this assignment to look after her, went straight from her brain to her body.

You said metaphor for sex? That beach horse ride was certainly a hell of one metaphor (with plenty of water with the proximity of the sea to keep them cool).

And boy did she enjoyed herself during this horse ride to the Hall of Lore! It was ectasy and she wasn't shy to show it.

So in my head, she definitely made the move on him in the show.

Sure Galadriel, it's was all about some history research on Morgoth's mysterious symbol, and has nothing to do with spending the day alone, miles away from indiscreet eyes, with the stunning hot man who speaks elfic and is begging you to let him worship you.

How can anybody watch them, looking like this, and not feel the powerful and immediate urge to make them the romantic heroes of the never told romance of the fourth human/elf couple that could have been, but stayed secret because it was impossible in the context of the war against Sauron.

What else than her thirst for what she couldn't have with Elendil could better explain this passage from the Appendices of LOTR, where she literally stripped Aragorn from his human clothes and dressed him in kingly sumptuous elfic outfits before pushing him in Arwen's arms :

"But Aragorn was grown to full stature of body and mind, and Galadriel bade him cast aside his wayworn raiment, and she clothed him in silver and white, with a cloak of elven-grey and a bright gem on his brow. Then more than any kind of Men he appeared, and seemed rather an Elf-lord from the Isles of the West".

And thus it was that Arwen first beheld him again after their long parting; and as he came walking towards her under the trees of Caras Galadhon laden with flowers of gold, her choice was made and her doom appointed.

Bonus from The Silmarillion:

he was aragorn son of arathorn, the nine and thirtieth heir in the right line from isildur, and yet more like elendil than any before him.

Quote borrowed from Feynyra's post

I tell you: she was living vicariously through her grandaughter her romantic adventure that never become real. This taste for legendary heroes, charismatic, tall and very handsome descendants of semi elfic ancestors runs deep in the family, no doubt.

[yinyanchan]

Off the Grid

This was a NSFW story I was making but lost interest in. Female Reader decides to go off grid away from humanity and goes to the “Haunted” Skeleton forest as it was declared public land but no one will go there after people and even search parties have disappeared. Has Classic, Underswap, Underfell, Swapfell, and Horrortale bros. I really liked readers first experience meeting a skeleton in this as it is a boistrous Black after he saves her from a raging river due to a storm. Classic Sans and Papyrus have been looking out for her but in the shadows as Reader sets up her home on their territory. Reader had never encountered a skeleton and had laughed off the idea that the place was haunted after living there a month. It might be something I come back to but until then I’m leaving the whole meeting under the cut... Be aware that this is slightly NSFW but I couldn’t resist publishing it as it pertains to Swapfell boys. Enjoy!

It took you forever to secure your campsite but you were more worried for the garden. It needed to be covered from the raging storm.

As you went to cross the stream, now a furious river, with your tarp... the current caught your leg in an awkward angle and down you went.

Regretting not having gotten around to making a bridge as you are swept downstream. Doing everything you can to survive as the water became white rapids from the excessive rain.

You were smacked awake. Jerking and shaking your head you were about to yell at whoever hit you... when before you was an average in height, but still taller than you, menacing skeleton. You were scared into a stupor as you watch its shark like teeth curl into a snarl. His black and red ensamble with matching eerie red eye lights locked right on you.

So... the skeleton forest had actual skeletons in it... guess those tall tales weren’t fiction afterall...

“HOW DARE YOU TRESPASS INTO MY TERRITORY HUMAN!!!” It screeched at you causing you to flinch.

Trembling from this spooky loud skeleton you try to take in your surroundings for a possible escape route.... and realize you are no where near the stream.

“Did...did you save me?” You ask curiously and the skeleton falters then seethes.

“I HAD TO FIND OUT WHY YOU’VE COME HERE! DID YOU COME ALONE, HUMAN?” He growls as you try to right yourself and stand up fully.

“...yes...” Honesty is the best policy right?

“WELL, THAT WAS STUPID OF YOU. I THE MALEVOLANT BLACK WILL SEE YOUR END!” He wrenches you up to him by the collar of your shirt.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was trespassing! I-I...” You are cut off as he makes a weird face and takes a deeper whiff of you. A skeleton can smell things?

“FEMALE? ARE YOU FEMALE HUMAN?” He demands an answer.

“Yes.” Not knowing why it made a difference. Honestly you still feel like this is a dream or you died in the river and this was your limbo.

“I SEE... IT WAS YOUR INTENT TO FIND ME ALL ALONG!!!” He lets your shirt collar go and you stumble back a bit in confusion.

You were about to question when another taller skeleton approaches. Tall and lanky with a fur trimmed hoodie. He somehow had a gold fang for being a skeleton in the woods with no dentist, but the crack in his jaw above made you wonder if that was how his tooth fell out or if was the gold one being shoved in.

“Whatcha got m’lord?” He eyes you curiously then smirks with a hint of mischief.

“MUTT! BEHOLD! A FEMALE HAS MADE HER WAY TO FIND ME!” The shorter one puffs his chest out proudly.

“I have?” Still not sure what the hell this is you are experiencing... still kinda hoping you swallowed to much river water and this is just a dream.

“OBVIOUSLY!!! YOU’VE HEARED OF MY SUPERIOR VIRILITY AND HAVE COME SEARCHING FOR YOUR MATE!” Posing pridefully as you gaped at him speechless.

You look to the other one for some sense at what is going on.

“Of course m’lord.” He smirks

well...shit... WING IT

“You know... perhaps I may have gotten carried away... As superior as you truly are... I... I’d hate to bog you down if I wasn’t at least an equal match.” Maybe by putting yourself down it might convince him to just let you go and forget all about this mating nonsense.

“HMMM... A VALID POINT...” He frowns and eyes you with scrutiny... the other however... his grin is positively shit eating.

“But M’lord... She’s braved coming this far. Perhaps it is to be. Such an adoring fan of yours should at least be bred if not taken for a lifemate.” You could punch that asshole as the smaller one seems to perk up.

“YES! YOUR HARD JOURNEY SHALL NOT HAVE BEEN IN VAIN! I ACCEPT YOUR COURAGE AND BRAVERY TO COME TO ME FOR YOUR BREEDING SEASON!” Your eyes widen as he approves almost instantly.You needed to think fast

“I may have jumped the gun a little early though! It’s not my season to be looking for a proper mate... Alas!” If you can pull this off you were sure he’d let you go... He wouldn’t murder someone that he was interested in right?

“BUT YOU SMELL SO FERTILE...” Well that threw you as he gives you a confused look.

“M’lord, Perhaps your presence made her cycle jump forward. You glare at the smirking skeleton that adds a wink to further your ire.

“AH HA! SO EAGER TO BE BRED BY ME MY SWEET? SO MUCH SO YOUR OWN BODY DEFIES IT’S NATURE!” Now he’s just preening but now you are curious... he’s a skeleton... how the hell was that supposed to work?

“...Since we’re talking about it.. How does it work?” Dream or not this was boggling your mind.

“WHAT?” the shorter one cocks a brow bone.

“You know... you being a skeleton and all...” You try to hint but it seems its lost on him.

“THE BLAZES ARE YOU ON ABOUT?” He had no clue.

“Darlin’ a virgin?” Oh you were going to cause physical harm to this skeleton that was obviously enjoying every moment of this torment.

“OH! I DIDN’T THINK I’D HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE BASICS BUT I WILL FOR YOU MY DEAR. I WILL PUT MY PENIS INTO YOUR VAGINA. MY GIRTH WILL SPLIT YOU OPEN FOR DEEP PENETRATION. MY KNOT KEEPING US TIED IN ECTASY AS I FORCE MY SEED DEEP INTO YOUR WAITING WOMB. ONLY AFTER YOU CLAMP DOWN AND CLIMAX ON ME IN PURE EUPHORIA.” What started as a sex ed lecture turned into a sensual and explicit turn on as he leaned and purred the rest of the speech in your ear.

You are a blushing mess.

“Somethin’ wrong darlin’?” the bigger one chuckles.

“I’m scare-roused?” This was maddening. You’ve never had anyone come onto you so aggressively. Unfortunately you seemed to have liked it and now this skeleton has you flustered.

“OF COURSE THAT IS ONLY THE FINALE... THERE ARE OTHER THINGS I WISH TO DO TO YOU BEFORE THEN.” You see a deep red glow seep out his mouth in the form of a tongue.. then is sensually sweeps across his shark like teeth.

Okay so this is happening... your finding something out about yourself as you allow him closer and that tongue graces your neck along with a few nips.

Whimpering as he places those love bites on such sinful spots that make your knees weak.

Suddenly you are yanked away.

“THIS IS OUR HUMAN, BLACK. WE’VE BEEN WORRIED SICK LOOKING FOR HER WHEN WE SAW SHE HADN’T RETURNED FROM THE CLEARING.” A sweet smiling fangless mutt? No this one had more energy and very chipper than the lazy asshole that had been goading you.

He looked to be in some makeshift armor and a long red scarf. As he holds you close to him another smaller skeleton approaches... in a blue hoodie and basketball shorts... and fuzzy pink slippers...

At this point you had to question yourself if this was still a dream... but the more you think on it the exhaustion from having to fight for your life down a raging stream is making your body scream at you.

“NO SHE IS NOT! SHE SOUGHT ME!” Black raged.

“Well she’s been living in our neck of the woods pal. Not really seeking you if she’s been in one spot for several weeks.” The blue hooded one snarks at him.

“YES! SHE HAS THE MOST AMAZING PUZZLE BOOKS!” So that’s where they’ve been disappearing to.

“Not nice to cock block classic.” Mutt squared off with the shorter one.

“I’m just thankful Red wasn’t the one that found her.” the one dubbed as Classic so far sighs.

“Yep, she’d have been fucked conscious then unconscious.” Mutt shrugged and the one holding you shuddered with a horrified look on his skull.

“IS THAT LANGUAGE AND SUBJECT MATTER ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!?” He exclaims

“SHE WAS CONSENTING TO BE BRED BY ME. I AM HER CHOSEN MATE!” Black is not about to let you go.

“More like between a rock and hard place there Black.” Classic growled making the other short one bristle.

“DO YOU WISH TO GO HOME?” The one holding you looks to you for what it is you want. You feel incredibly safe with him.

“Yes.” You simply answer feeling the weight of your exhaustion trying to pull you into the realm of sleep.

Black looks hurt at your response.

“It’s a lot to process Black but I will consider it. Just tired... you know... being dragged down a raging river... nearly dying?” He still looks a little preturbed that you didn’t want to stay with him.

“I SAVED YOU.” He states with a pout.

“You have my deepest thanks and here...” You pull out your still damp handkerchief to hand to him.

“You have my favor.” Black snatches it with a boost in his confidence.

“I shall treasure it my lady. My territory is open to you my future mate.” It should be a crime the way he looks at you.

END EXCERPT

[d3adite]

thinking about how at download fest before metallica ECTASY OF GOLD was playing. WITH THE SCENE PLAYING ON THE SCREENS i was shaking so much. i am sosooososoosooooo normal

[young-vannois]

MMMMM TFW YOU HAVE THE BEST IDEA FOR A SCENE BACKED BY AN EPIC SONG

[flyinghetfield]

How does one stop themselves from crying when hearing Ectasy of gold?

[aurea-b]

Thank you for the tag @sv926 💙

Rules: you can usually know a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to. Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people. No skipping!!

I usually listen the same song for hours 😅 So.... I used my youtube playlist on random to create this beautiful thing: 

1. Nightwish - While your lips are still red 2. Hercules - I won’t say I’m in love (Finnish) ((Why Finnish? I don’t know... but the only word I learned here is rakastaan as love XD and although we have Hungarian version but somehow the Finnish sounds better😗)) 3. The birthday massacre - Blue  4. Five Finger Death Punch - Wrong side of heaven 5. Imagine Dragons - Warriors 6. Supercell - Utakata hanabi 7. Within temptation - See who I am 8. Avril Lavigne - Innocence (I would be really disappointed if my mofo princess won’t appear on the list... but hey~) 9. Natsumi Kiyoura - Tabi no Tochuu  10. Ennio Morricone - The ectasy of gold - Theremin & voice --performed by Carolina Eyck (I could listen this for a whole day, I think I’ve already done it once or twice(?)) Wow... Well good luck with me :D And thank you again.

Now the tags are coming: make it double @the-exploding-toaster, @skysquid22, @crocro-dyle, @sweetsodasparkles, @spooknik-wolf, @a-real-fast-goose

[howl-to-the-starry-sky]

URL SONG CHALLENGE! RULES: spell out your URL with song titles and tag people to make it more fun!

Tagged by: @onsilentwings​ (PS: You’re despicable)

Tagging: Anyone that wants to do this, @lostwithspace to have a legit reason to do it again

OK, LETS DO THIS *cracks knuckes*

Hurdy Gurdy Man - Butthole Surfers

Odds Are - Barenaked Ladies

Wake Me Up - Avicii - Covered by Scott Bradee’s Postmodern Jukebox

Last Friday Night - Katy Perry

-

Tacky - Weird Al

One More Time - Daft Punk (to myself obv.)

-

Tik Tok - Kesha

HoI! · Ace Waters & RichaadEB

Ectasy of Gold - Ennio Morricone (From The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly)

-

Shut up and Dance - WALK THE MOON

Tribute - Tenacious D

Applause - Lady Gaga (seems really apt)

Raise Your Glass - P!nk

Razzle Dazzle - Richard Gear - Chicago OST

You Can’t Stop This Mother F***** - Tyler Bates - Deadpool 2 OST

-

Sound of Silence - Distrurbed

Kia Hora Te Marino -  Christopher Tin 

YMCA - Village People

AND THATS HOW YOU DO IT *finger guns* 

[frevkshcwtm-blog]

&. @soulpromised;

          if there was one thing that hope loved more than anything in the world, it was running wild and free in her wolf form on the full moon. sure, the pain was insurmountable, but once it passed, she was consumed by an ectasy like no other. four strong and sturdy paws carry her quickly throughout the forestation, when all of the sudden, a peculiar scent catches her attention, sending her into an automatic hault. panting heavily, she took in even more of it, and thus, became that much more bewildered. it did not take her more than half a mile to find herself before the entity, wolfen gold hues taking in everything around her. who was this person? or were they even a person at all?

[larissaloki]

Abusive relationships,

Yes another one of these, ths my own personal experiences with a relationship that ended nearly two years ago. I’ve only just gotten the confidence too share as to this day, my son is still negatively affected by the aftermath.

Thankfully my relationship only lasted 2 months before i wised up and kicked his ass to the curb. These kinds of relationships can happen to anyone, not just women, so this post will hopefully serve as a warning for everyone on what to look out for.

Before i continue i will warn that content can be sensitive for some (obviously) but also mentions of a bdsm esk lifestyle. Not overly explitic but it’s still there. Also I am just writng out as it pops into my head so bare with my ramblings as this hard to get out.

To start off with, I am a single mum living in a flat and at the time i was working part time (18 hours a week a the time) with a 2 year old toddler and 22 years old. Despite having a son I was lonely a lot as a lot of friends stopped contacting me and my weekly dnd group was disbanded so my human interactions where limited and lets just say retail doesn’t equate to good human contact.

Fast forward because you don’t want to hear about my struggles wth dating as humourous it is. I met (lets call him D) D and as always, things see well- D was sweet and charmng and was seemingly ok with me having a toddler. Brillant! i thought i had hit gold with this guy.

This how abusers are, they make themselves seem to sweet and amazing that you become blind any faults. You know that saying “I’m not like those guys, not all guys are like that” D used these words when describng himself and in conversations. in my experience with him and a few other people, people that have used these sentences are often exactly like the ones they say they aren’t.

So far everything he’s done is present a pleasent package that sound and looks trustworthy and a nice guy. Making the bad traits come across as just mere off days. I was so blinded by the fact that he seemed to sweet and nice that i didn’t realise exactly what he was doin for a mere two months. thankfully talks at schools and thing’s I’ve read online and family members helped me clock onto his games.

ALWAYS LISTEN TO FAMILY! i say this because they noticed within weeks what he was doing and were trying to find ways to warn me. He seemed hesitant to meet my family after a month of dating which for my family is odd, as we are a pretty tight family more or less at the times. My mum met everyones partners quickly as we all visited each other a lot at the time.

when she did meet him a month into dating and was talking to him, D admitted that he would read my phone over my shoulder ALL.THE.TIME. This is not good, nothing i thought was private actually was. But his own phone was protected like it was the holy grail of all holy grails. I never actually asked to see his phone but it’s somethin i noticed after we broke up that he would always hide the screen from anyone in the room. He would try and create arguments over anything with my mu and sister when they were at my home while i was working, watching over my son. At this pont i wasn’t still comfortable enough for D to be along with my son.

When i then got home, my mum and sister would leave quickly unable to stand being in D’s presence. this made me think they simply just didn’t like him, so when it annoyed me, D would jump onto my rants and feed them. Make my anger at my mum and sister worse by telling white lies, basically fanning the flames. People, if your partner does this- take a step back and wonder why.

D was purposefully driving wedges between me and my family and later my best friend by complaining about each and trying to get me to join his point of view. Tryng to get me to view them as hinderences rather than support. Driving me to focus on him completely and not them. Do not let anyone destroy your family ties, especially ones with your closest family.

then theres the other little things, like comlaining how i wash my hair and which products i use saying i was damaging myself. everything i used was of good value and methods professional hairdressers adviced me to use. But apparently a guy who doesn’t even condition and had short balding hair had better knowledge then me. this is another form of control, trying to tell me how to do things. same with cooking, I’m not a bad cook i can make somegood meals but he insisted on cooking saying he’s amazing at cooking. He would often put in way to much garlic and onion making the meals he made full of to much flavour and would get upset when my poor 2 year old wouldn’t eat or I wouldnt. Even when i told him not to put so much he would snap saying he knew what he was doing.

Then theres the guilt tripping and telling me how to raise my child. A person who has no children was apparently more knowledgable than me who read articles and books and have a mother who’s had 4 kids herself. When out and about he would get annoyed when my 2 year old had a tantrum and play up.

saying that my son was being a disrespectful shit to me and would publically shame me for ignoring or trying to appease my son depending on what the tantrum was over. RED FLAG! A 2 year old cannot be disrespectful, my son struggles with speech to this day due to D demanding my son uses his words and not cries to display hs wants. D’s view was that kids should be perfectly articulate at 2 year old and understand all these adult social cue’s.

Then at bed times, D hated that i cuddled my son till he slept and that my son came intomy bed halfwa through the night for comfort reasons. So he demanded i changed the night routine to involve maths for my 2 year old and a story while my son was in bed then just walkout of the bedroom. leave my son alone regardle if he was upset, my heart broke at my sons cries as D scared my son back into bed and kept leaving him. Ignoring my concerns with this method saying it wht he read online and eventually my son will sleep. worst two weeks of my life until i broke the cycle as I just couldn’t allow it to continue.

i was fas growing afraid of D at this point. One night he flipped his shit as i turned over in bed declaring it was to hot to share the bed due to my memory foam topper and that he runs hot anyway. he threw his phone at the wall over it. Another time he yelled at me for not trying a certain stores jellybabies when i said. didn’t like jellybabies, saying that i was being stubborn as this stores jelly babies were delicious. i promised to try them later- when he was out i threw them away and just told him that yes they were ok.

He mocked the games i played and liked, i love final fantasy and rpg games a lot. i find them entertaining but he mocked them saying i should play more fighter interactve games. he made me play one that i just found dull and did not like at all.

After this he was also scaring me with his bsm ettiquette, anyone in bdsm know that you respected your partners limits and repected their safe word and what they tell you the are ok with and what they aren’t ok with. A few times he violated this. He liked to give pain and i liked mostly pleasure and rope play. A hard limit for me was belts- i was not ok with them at all, he used one one session and i had to safe word out quickly which he found fuckng funny. This is not ok. Another time we wanted to try a new pose with ropes and the position i was in was making me feel ill half way through beng tied, so i safe worded and asked me to get me out as i felt sick.

If your partner is in rope and feels unwell or safe words out- get them out fast! Cut the ropes if you need to you can always buy more ffs. But D didn’t, he sighed and slowly untied me. No matter how much i begged him to hurry up he went at his own slow ass pace. Do not do this as something someone once found enjoyable suddenly no longer is.

And lastly, do not snap at your sub if your rope plans dont go to plan. Do not make them feel bad if something doent work. I was snapped at when ties he was tryng for the first time weren’t working, nothing i could help.

towards the end he told my mum when they again where at mine alone that he would be moving in in 6 months time so she had best get usedto him being here. we had only been dating at this point for less than 2 months. I have a rule that i don’t move in with someone unles i’ve been with them for more than 2-3 years at the minimum.

8 MONTHS IS TO SOON.

the event that pretty much spelled the end for this? was my sons bday and D turned up after eveyone had gone which fair enough, lots of kids wasn’t his thing. I had some alcohol and energy drinks as well, he offere weed which i had had before unaware of him slipping me ectasy as well.

All of these things did not respond well to me, hours later in the next morning as i had this 9 pm the night before, by 10 am D left to go home and i was dealing with what i think was the come down. Badly. Ikept having panic attack and was not right for two days after. My heart kept going dangerous speeds that i had to call my mum and sister for help as D said he woudlnt come over as i wa just beng silly and that it would pass. I was worried for my son if something was to happen to me over it.

After this i talked to my mum and the truth was coming out in small bits. I stupidly was on the fence about what my mum was telling me as i was reliant on D’s affection and we i went to get a coil (birth control device) and D hated that i was going with my mum and that i had been talking to her.

He got defensive and was telling me i didnt need my mum in my life. His mum wa dead and he was doing well, so i didn’t need mine in hs eyes. This is maniplative as fuck and he was an asshole trying to use this. By thi point. Was wising up to his tactics and games with teh help of my mum exposing what he hadsaid to her and i dumped him.

He tried to then play around with getting his things back and tried to arrange it when i would be alone. Never meet an ex like this alone people i beg you, i got my mums bf to wait for him instead,and i prepacked his stuff so he couldnt possibly steal anything. When he saw my mums bf his aggressive pose he had at the door dropped away. He was suddenly polite and cordial and left with little fuss once received his things. Never meet an abusive ex alone.

After he left my life i found out he had gotten onto my computer that was a christmas gift and had wrecked it beyond usable it quickly broke and i lost everything on it. All my musc and pictures and works. My computer wa my escap and coping mechanism for depression and anxiety. Same as my music. Im still struggling in life around men due to this and my son is strugling to learn to speak still.

Please be careful and never cut out people from your life because a partner says so. Friends and family mean more than someone you just met.