#the driving alone would drive me insane
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jasarenovasirumahdikotablitar
WA 0813-3393-3034, Jasa Kontraktor Rumah Di Blitar : Rustic Ray
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Oh, Lala...
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#atla azula#princess azula#atla ursa#suki#atla suki#kyoshi warriors au#kyoshi warriors#Kyoshi Warrior Ursa AU#wip#I felt like sharing a little snippet of a two-page comic I've been working on for AGES#Literally you have no idea for how long this has been sitting on my drafts#Mainly because I keep getting sidetracked by new AUs and sketches and projects. But that's nothing new so#This one is a deep-ish dive into the basic character dynamics between the Fire Siblings as well as Ursa and Suki#Or should I say#Between the siblings Ruolan and Jian Li regarding their mother Noriko and each other.#I know the names can get rather confusing. I'd love to explain the reasoning behind them if anyone would like to know tho#Moving on#There's a lot to unpack in that scene#The characters are different from how we know them due to their circumstances in this AU. But they have things in common with the og series#Of course that remains for you to see#I'm so excited to finish this and share it with you guys!#Some of you have been asking about Azula/Ruolan and Ursa/Noriko in this AU and I am here to deliver#I love the dynamic between this little family SO much it's driving me insane#That being said#What do you get from this panel alone? What do you think it's happening?#I'd love to hear your thoughts on this
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yeah thats. what i thought. traumadumping i guess in the tags abt it.
#the only time i made Sure he couldnt touch me anymore was during a panic attack. and i didnt want him touching me but i did need comfort so#i sat on the floor with my best friend of several years and leaned on them for support#and he insisted on driving me home alone that night and then he started crying and insisted that i only ever let him touch me out of pity.#and then he said that if he didnt have a kid he would have been suicidal because of this#its. dealing with all this is part of why i havent been able to be on this account much. its been insanely stressful#because he lives with my best friend who i hang out with 3-4days a week usually. my best friend whose parent just died last month#and once i told them abt this they were like oh so thats a PATTERN of behavior bc hes apparently done this to multiple other people#notably people he's expressed that he's attracted to. and that being almost exclusively lesbians. this is a cis man btw#so. strained smile#txt
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you ever just think about. “You are diseased, albeit a disease of our own making. No more.” you ever just. oh, they made him and they discarded him. it’s never going to be quiet again for him, and that’s just collateral. they let the sound rot through his whole life, his whole timeline. because that’s the kind of easy sacrifice you can make when you want to save yourself above everything else, one that doesn’t ask anything of you. you dig open a child’s mind and you bury your survival inside him and when he follows the noise back home, when he does exactly what you groomed him for, you call him ruined for it. that’s. you ever just think about that.
#it’s genuinely such a horrifying sixkening thing that they unveil. what was done to the master.#and it’s like. it’s so important that he is awful. he really is. but he still does not deserve to have had this done to him.#the drums are a tragedy that cannot. would not. be a punishment earned no matter how terrible he is.#they’re such a violation of his mind. isolating and constant and violent. and it drives me insane that this is just. in the show. okay cool#ill never be normal again.#they literally pulled his head open. during a ceremony that we. as far as i know. have to assume is not exactly voluntary. and is at the#best of times. already traumatic and horrifying. but they went into that moment and they put the drums in his head and they made him into#something repulsive to them. because they did that to him! in this thing alone the master had no agency and no way out and this thing that#was done *to* him is what makes him. to them. a broken thing now past its usefulness now that he’s done what they wanted him to.#sorry im rotating him in my head again and again. this is the thing that makes him ‘diseased’. it’s that they chose to do this to him. there#is nothing he could do to not be this. he was a child and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. he’s an adult and he’s#doing the impossible exactly like they shaped him to do and he can’t stop this from having happened to him. so he might as well follow the#drums. and then. and then rassilon calls him diseased. and im going to. lose it.#there was nothing he could have done…………..#everywhere else he has choices to make and he can burn the world and keep it as a toy and he can fuck with the doctor and he can do.#anything. anything he wants. but he can’t. there’s nothing he can do to make it stop. there’s nothing he can do to make it so this never#happened to him. and i am spinning in circles here do u see why he makes me insane.#and the doctor doesn’t even really fucking believe him that the drums are real until the master makes him listen……. oh im going to be ill.#doctor who#simm!master#the master
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charlie's daddy issues atm are my favoriteworst thing ever. the charlastor potential makes me nuts but also LUCIFER WHEN I GET YOU LUCIFER WHEN I GET YOU
#'i have created Hell's Princess' you fucked up a perfectly good daughter is what you did. look at her. she's got daddy issues#but charlastor oh my god#'what's that you said about smiles?' 'good girl!' i am going to dive into a ravine.#charlastor drives me insane the shit you could do w them alone#something something the room for horrific potential in charlie starving‚ just a little‚ for that love and praise and alastor—OF ALL PEOPLE#—dedicating himself to give that to her#the corruption arc would be INSANE and i'd love 2 see a charlie fully realized in her capabilities#in her kindness‚ but also the base violence she's willing to enact for change#anyways. they make me sick#charlastor
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TJ Hess deserves to snap
#god it would drive me insane to be babied by all my friends except by the only normal one who is fucking AFTER ME!!!#LEAVE ME ALONE!!!#ground quakes#echo vn#tj hess
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girls when they think abt the life they want to lead vs the life they actually lead
#me when the person i want to be requires a lot of work and throwing my phone off a cliff and getting out of the house often#its like... i so desperately want to get involved with the underground scenes but to do that you have to know people innit#you have to know where to go you have to know in whose basement a show is being played. a movie shown. artwork displayed etc#and it drives me insane bc even if i found myself in those circles i would still be an outsider bc i have to do my homework yknow#i have to not only be involved but also informed. i feel like being there just for kicks isnt enough and even if it were i couldnt go alone#idk why im overcome w such terrible melancholy all of a sudden but yeah.............#piksla.txt
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cassie: gregory didn't hurt anybody!
me: oh you poor sweet summer child
#{ i think a lot about the ar mask and how it uses voice clips and stuff and like... }#{ ALL of the gregory voice clips are pathetic and sad. like ''im so scared and alone'' is the most out of character shit }#{ but because of the position cassie is in... ofc she's gonna perceive that he's feeling that way- }#{ -and helpi is going to audio-mix accordingly. }#{ i think the longer that her night goes on it definitely like...uses her brain against her. not INTENTIONALLY- }#{ -but her mind is in such a fragile state that like...everything is going to become warped and scary and remind her of the position- }#{ -she and gregory are in. }#{ i think so bad specifically abt roxy raceway and the cutouts ok dont get me started IVE GONE OFF LONG ENOUGH }#{ MY POINT BEING. cassie has no fucking idea what gregory did in main game and it kinda drives me insane... }#{ what would she do if she knew he was the reason roxy no longer has eyes. }#{ this became long enough to warrant that tag so dfsklfds }#ruin spoilers /#🎬 || it's make believe inside your head. (headcanons.) || 🎬#🎬 || time for bear. (ooc.) || 🎬
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It would be easier for me if the tickets for the Iron Maiden concerts in Germany were be sold out but there not and I keep staring at their tour plan and the still available tickets and I would even pay the 100€ that they cost but I don't have anywhere to stay and they're not close enough to my city that I could make it a one day trip, it's agonizing truly
#it's driving me insane#like you don't understand how sad I am about it#it was my favourite band in my early teen years#I would even go alone!!#I have so much commitment and it still won't work#like it's such a dream and it's so close but I still can't reach it
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first of all, the duffers absolutely didn't have the full series planned out from the start because Stranger Things was originally pitched as a limited series with 1) the potential for a direct "sequel" that would follow the younger kids as adults (basically, they pitched "It") or 2) an outright sci-fi horror anthology. second of all, even if the duffers did have everything mapped out from the start that doesn't mean that plan isn't garbage.
#strangerthoughts#sorry ST reddit is driving me INSANE. please crawl back out of the duffers' asses#these guys literally lost the plot back in S3 and course corrected so hard that everyone collectively experienced whiplash#if they had any kind of plan in mind it definitely wasn't until after S2#I would argue it wasn't until after S3 tbh#like. S1 was definitely intended to stand alone#S2 was a direct continuation that only happened because netflix saw the show as profitable#and the duffers scrambled to yeet something out in a little over a year#which is why the justice for barb plot is a thing and el's plot is so disconnected from the rest of the season#they had no idea what to do with her when she was SUPPOSED TO DIE#S3 feels like the duffers pitched an anthology season and netflix said no#like. I could have liked S3 as a standalone campy action comedy#but it being a wacky season in the midst of non-wacky seasons makes me wonder what the duffers were smoking#and if the duffers had a solid plan for vecna before S3 I'll give them my left kidney free of charge#because S4 is a messy season. they crammed things in there that did not need to be crammed in#they bloated the cast and clearly had no idea what to do with 75% of said cast#and when I talk about the episodes being too long I'm directly referring to how in the last episode the kill vecna crew are being#STRANGLED BY VINES and PINNED TO A WALL for like thirty minutes straight#at that point someone should have suggested they reevaluate what they just wrote. because what they wrote sucked#I genuinely don't think the duffers will ever be show runners again#I think they'll continue to direct. which they are pretty good at. but I don't see them ever writing anything majorly successful again
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I have some kind of weird evil wizard curse on me where I feel deeply sad and uniquely horrible when my beloved bestie roommate is home but feel Normal and Emotionally Regulated when theyre out like literally what is wrong with me good GOD get that girl some therapy !!!!
#sorry trying this thing where i speak the thoughts that haunt me and build up in my head as 'unspeakable' anxieties to weaken their power#good thing no one can see this!!!#anyways i want to reinterate that i love my bestie so much and i love BEING with them#but when theyre home and we're not actively hanging out and sometimes even when we ARE i get. like this#i dont understand it#not to be all emo mcdarkness or whatever but i really feel so much more lonely when im around people than when im alone#whats up w that??#like idk is it just a matter of me being jealous that my bestie spends more time with their partner than with me?#or am i jealous bc i dont HAVE a partner like that who is always there for me and considers me their number 1#OR am i in love with my bestie and unable to admit it to myself???#or am i just autistic and having a meltdown every time i socialize with people and realize i am not like them#and dont think i will ever have the emotional intelligence to have a healthy adult relationship like they do#and it drives me fucking crazy with grief??#vs when im alone im like. not even a person anymore and dont need to be seen i can simply exist and do puzzles and listen to podcast#????#no but fr this has been a major issue for a long time now and I'm only recently starting to uncover the patterns in my sadness#and im legitimately so scared im going to reach a point where i need to move out on my own and have more control over when i see my bestie#just to get a handle on this insane mood fluctuations that i truly dont understand#and i dont even know how i would begin to broach that topic with them#bc we have promised each other so many times we would always live together#please god let saying this all out loud make it easier to bear 🙏
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the physical toll of the stress these past few days is so lifesucking it feels like my whole body is shutting down lmfao
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okay 141 as wardens but what if soap became a warden similar to carver/bethany in where during a fight with darkspawn in the deep roads or even in defense of his home village he ended up catching the blight and the only way to stay alive was to become a warden
#price who would rather not because becoming a warden is practically signing your life away. you will never get that peace and quiet life#will never be able to die old becauae it will always be this#BUT if its the village route his mother begs for price to save her only son. well aware that she may never see him again but also unaware#that he may die during the joining anyway and that alone brings pain to prices heart#can you tell price & soap drive me insane . Yeah.#.txt
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truly i’m so beyond insane about the Bill and Ted Musical song “Don't Surrender” that Bill sings when he thinks Ted got killed by the castle guard. i'm being so normal and okay about it tho i promise
#N posts stuff#look! i'm kind of insane about the whole album. Soldier's Heart and Future Dudes! especially also#but you have to know about me that i'm Eternally Haunted by that old version of the movie script where Bill -#before he realizes Ted isn't actually dead - calls HIMSELF a fag for mourning so hard#and so like. in the copies of the musical script we have the 'don't surrender' scene seems to have been omitted for whatever reason#but we know what scene it's for bc Linda Kay did an interview with the guy who wrote the thing and he told her it was that scene#so in my head like. not only is the song Alone enough to drive one to autistic shrimp emotions Beyond comprehension#but my brain superimposes that old movie script onto this song bc we Have no written scene for what it would look like musically#so in my head bill finishes That Song and then looks down at ted and calls himself a faggot for having sung it and i'm ...... just#it’s like. oughhhhhhhhhhhhhh dude i am LOOKINg at you i’m being so normal fuck#(<- he is not being even a LITTLE bit normal about it)#bnt
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Facing my fear of movie theaters by going to the first showing of the day sgdggdgd
I think I'll be the only person there which would be awesome tbh
AND I dont have to break my streak of having seen every hunger games movie in theaters :D I'm excited man
#marquilla#first one i saw with my friend from middle school and her weird ass family sgdgdgdggd second and third was with my ms/hs best friend who#also loved the books (we would have 'arguments' over what character was the best cough cough finnick cough cough which drove my dad insane#listening to every single time we would pick her up to come over (40 min drive one way atgagagsg)#and the last one i saw with my first boyfriend who really didnt have any thoughts one way or the other ab the books but he DID think gale#was better than peeta which lead to an 'argument' in the parking lot while we were looking for his moms car sgdgdggdgd we both#agreed that finnick was better though sgdggdg#and by arguments i mean they were those goofy 'my fav is better than YOURS' debates you have with friends that are always in good fun#now this time im going alone bc i really wanna see it and mom didnt read the book yet/isnt really interested (more like eh ill get you the#dvd when it comes out and we can watch it) this is my first time going by myself though which is kinda exciting sgdgd#did you know you can order food ahead of time and have it delivered to your seat?? thats wild to me#id feel so awkward doing that especially since it's probably just gonna be me today shhdhdhdhd
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hey what was up with this. taps mic. can anyone hear me. hello. whats wrong with him
#i need tav to smack him with lightning. affectionately (hi shark yes i do mean in the way we talked about in dms)#still cannot get over how good a word sybaritic is for him#anyway he drives me insane. i think about him way more than you would guess from my tumblr alone but its bc going in his tag. frightens me#my life rn
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love being 25 and not knowing how to socialize bc i’m autistic and off putting and cringe so no one wanted to talk to me/wanted to be my friend growing up so now i’m an adult with very few friends or ppl i talk to on a regular basis bc i never learned how to socialize or text properly bc no one taught me how
#abc shut it#vent#i’m so lonely it’s not even funny#my talking to myself has just gotten worse in the past few months alone#i just want some friends i can do watch parties with and play games with damn it#i’m so bored and lonely all the time#my life has just been work sleep and chores and it’s driving me insane bc i have nothing breaking up the routine#like it doesn’t help no one texted me bc i was poor and had didn’t get a smart phone until is was basically too late :)#like i know part of it is the depression but#idk i just don’t do anything when i get home#sometimes i do art sometimes i game but usually i just lose track of time staring at tumblr and the next thing i know my few hours—#after work are gone and i have to go to bed#like don’t get my wrong i LOVE my coworkers but i need some more friends within my own age bracket#like is it to much to ask for a group of friends that will watch anime and movies with me in our own discord server#like is that literally to much to fucking ask of the universe can i be allowed to feel like an actual normal human being that’s connected#to the human experience for once in my fuckkng life#and not feel like some sort out outlier that doesn’t fucking exist to anyone#i’m to a point where i think and feel like i’m not even real! lol#like idk i would just like there to not to be days where i literally don’t communicate with anyone#and know what to say when ppl DO text me bc when ppl do text me i half the time don’t even know what to say#and forget the message is there and get to scared to reply after too much time has passed like#i know it’s a me problem that therapy would help but im terrified that it won’t#that i’ll just be going therapy and still be a lonely autisic looser who doesn’t know how to communicate without being off putting#or being too much
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