#the drawing took me around 6 and a half hour to draw xD

[mitamicah]

DTIYS is coming!

My DTIYS event to celebrate 1K followers on two social media (tumblr and IG) will be revealed tomorrow January 9 2024 around 7 pm CET

I am very excited to show you what I have in store :D

[forbidding-souda]

Hey again may I request s/o receiving gifts from their partner on white day ?, with the trigger happy havoc boys pls. ( xD I'm sorry I think you'll have to research again xP lol.) - 🐺

Receiving gifts from TTH boys on white day

i am overly pining for that man i sleep on at peets like every day. i'm gonna miss him. it's winter break now so i willnt be seeing him for awhile and i'm like gahh

oh my god what if i got him something for valentines day.. wdjsnmnndhhhhdhhhshh

i wish white day existed in america yatzee

i learned how to do a french inhale as i was writing this also this took me 6 hours yatzee LMFAO I'M STUCK A SLOW WORKER

-Mod Souda

Mondo Oowada

❤ Giving him gifts is easy. Anything from temporary tattoos to a bottle of fizz gets him all lovey-dovey and excited. He will be surprised and thankful for anything you give him.

❤ His gifts are completely stolen, curtsey of the fact that even if he did try to buy something he would most likely be denied service.

❤ He loves wrapping them and putting them in boxes. Special occasions: winter holidays, your birthday, white day, he looks forward to them so he can spoil you with reason.

❤ Even if you gave him one gift, he's giving you many. He'll give you your favorite candy along with pocky (just an excuse to kiss you).

❤ Literally half of your relationship is the art of gift giving. Outside of physical touch, it's probably his to-go love language.

❤ Spends the whole day with you. His friends can wait; you're his first priority always.

.

Leon Kuwata

❤ You had been so hesitant to even give him a gift - he must receive dozens. You knew all the girls who wish they were in your place try to swoon him by buying him shit. It doesn't matter all that much to you. He is openly annoyed by them, anyway.

❤ You gave him his favorite chocolates (something those girls definitely wouldn't have known about) and a music book: guitar sheet music from his favorite old rock bands. His smile when he received them was all you could have ever asked for. He put his arm around your shoulder and rested his head against yours. It was affection - affection that usually was not as tender.

❤ Trying to be humble, you told him that you didn't mind him not giving anything back for you. You had made jokes about how he should spend all his money giving gifts to the dozens of girls instead - but he'd just wave you off and repeat that they are not as important as you.

"You bring it up too much for it not to be bothering you," he had pointed out, drying his hair with a towel after a shower. The steam had fogged the window and you were fighting the urge to draw shapes into it.

"I just think it's funny."

He gives you a side glance.

❤ He woke you up with a smoothie on that March 14th, pushing the cold glass against your cheek to wake you up. You had glared at him when you finally realized he was bothering you on purpose - but he had said this is the first part of your gift. So you allowed yourself to get up.

❤ The second part of the gift came much later. Throughout the day you were wondering if it would be something shocking, something worth the wait. What could he have possibly done? You wondered if he wrote you a song or bought you tickets to a show. But those things are given; not worth the anticipation.

❤ Finally, he told you to close your eyes and stick out your hand. You face your palm up and once you shut your eyes he flipped your hand over. It makes your lips twitch into a smile. When you feel something slip onto your ring finger you open your eyes immediately.

"This isn't a proposal!" He clarifies instantly. "It's a couple's ring - look, do you like it?"

On his finger, next to the other rings, is a silver band that matches yours.

"The inside has our names in it."

You eye it, smiling and nodding your head. "Thank you so much. I love it." And this is way more... worthy than what you got him.

.

Byakuya Togami

❤ He could get almost anything in the world. You know this - and it makes gift giving hard. Still, he enjoys whatever you give him, not genuinely but enough to make you feel content with his reaction. He doesn't degrade you for giving him shit and that's all that matters.

❤ You were surprised he even brought up White Day. He asked you if you would prefer he celebrate it, and you said sure. That was your word: sure. He grunted at your informality.

❤ The question for what to get you was as daunting as you wondering what to get him. You also could get anything in the world, though he is hesitant to treat you with such a lavish way of living. He tries to remember what you talk about - fandom wise. Are there rare collectibles?

❤ He spent a lot of effort into researching for this gift. Like ten minutes in he sat back down in his chair and put a hand on his forehead. I'm really in love.

❤ He had one of the servants wrap the gift. He's not that hands-on.

❤ But he made sure to wait until half the day passed before he handed it to you. The box was big, which surprised you, and you tried to hide your smile as you opened it. And you were surprised. So he does listen to you when you talk. The first thing you noticed was the cd, an album that recently came out, with writing on it. He had gotten the artist to sign it for you. And it even had your name. Underneath was a simple stuffed bear holding a heart. Engraved in it were the words be mine.

"I'll be yours."

He rolls his eyes, grabbing the back of your head and kissing your forehead. "I know."

Ishimaru Kiyotaka

❤ When you gave him his gift, his cheeks were burning pink and he was stuttering like crazy. One thing ran through his mind: what am I going to get them in return? It stressed him out beyond belief.

❤ You would often find him in great thought, staring off into the distance, mumbling to himself and squinting. You eventually stopped trying to break him out of it.

❤ A part of you knew this would happen if you got him a gift. No matter how simple it was, he needed to repay you somehow.

"Rise and shine!" He pushed you over in the bed, rolling you over, taking the blanket away from you. You whine his name and rub your eyes. He is already fully dressed; his hair is brushed and his eyes are alive.

"Why?"

"I made us a reservation!"

"For breakfast?"

He nods, leaning over your body, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. "The most important meal of the day."

❤ In the beginning of your relationship, you tried to get closer to him by asking him to tutor you. You always picked this restaurant - sitting across from him in this lighting was a blessing. He is beautiful.

❤ This was your gift - along with a book, one that the two of you can fill out together, a questionare of sorts. And the two of you linger over it like it's a textbook, reminding you of old times, where even back then he was madly in love with you, reciprocated.

.

Yasuhiro Hagakure

❤ Wait - you're actually giving him something? But the two of you are already together. You still have to get each other stuff?

"You don't have to if you don't want to, love." You had laughed, noticing his stress immediately.

"No - no no." He opened his mouth to say more, but when nothing came, you spoke over him.

"Don't worry about it."

Afterward, he had simply grumbled to himself and scratched his chin.

❤ Whenever he thinks about gifts, he can only think about things that he wants. You - what are your interests? The two of you watch movies together, that's a start, have there been movies you liked more than others?

❤ He found himself fishing through your closet. A shirt, he decided. He'll give you a shirt.

❤ A shirt for that movie you made him watch a couple of times. Every time, you had quoted some of the lines, smiling as you did so.

❤ And when he gives you the shirt - it's in a tiny little bag, one with your name written on it with sharpie. He looks so nervous that you just want to melt into his arms. You make sure to show your appreciation, as you know this has been particularly stressful for him.

.

Makoto Naegi

❤ He went to ask Kirigiri what to do. You gave him a gift for Valentine's Day and then said he doesn't need to return the favor - is this a trick? She tells him to do it anyway, as she suspects you're just trying to be generous.

❤ Which is correct.

❤ He considers himself someone who's good at giving gifts. He'll try to give someone something that's less obvious - something that they wouldn't know they wanted otherwise.

❤ But with you, it's hard, because he knows everything you like and everything you don't like. How can he surprise you?

❤ But maybe it's not about the surprise - and just that he has gifted you something in general. He thinks about this stuff too much.

❤ So he settles with a shit load of stuff. Like a goodie bag, almost. It has candles, snacks, love letters, stickers and gift cards. He didn't know what specificall you wanted so he just got you a bunch of stuff.

.

Hifumi Yamada

❤ His gifts do not come in physical form, but rather writing, where he creates a whole novel of you in your favorite fictional world. He knows you so well, and he's amazing are characterization - everything plays out exactly how you imagined in your head.

❤ This is his to-go thing. Outside of that, he will cook a simple meal for the two of you, or the two of you can draw together. He'll take pictures of you trying on his glasses, print them, and tape them inside of one of his writing journals.

"Do you enjoy them that much?" You ask, a bit self conscious, looking at the photos as he takes out the tape.

"Why, of course! You look absolutely ravishing."

The corner of your mouth raises in a shrug, but you just know that he loves you a lot, as if he doesn't show it all the time anyway.

.

Chihiro Fujisaki

❤ Mostly, every single time he goes outside, you are there with him. So buying you a present was actually rather difficult. He eventually just had to say I'm going to find you a present for white day and took off, alone.

❤ Your Valentines Day gift to him was a fidget toy. You realized that whenever he was away from a computer, he doesn't seem to know what to do with his hands.

❤ He wanted to get you something equally important.

❤ Him and his dad went together on White Day, pondering together. He got you a stuffed rabbit, just for how cute it looked. He also got you flowers, fitting those things (poorly) into a tiny little backpack, one that is your favorite color.

❤ He had you close your eyes when he came home. When he put the bag into your hand, you were surprised at how large the gift was.

"I was... unsure as to whether you would like it or not." He clasps his hands together, rubbing his thumb over the other.

You make a show of kissing the rabbit on the cheek. "It's amazing, I love it."

His worried eyes calm as he smiles.

[shtern-and-art]

Back again with more questions about the au!! XD

And don't worry, we all love your long responses!! The more you say about the au the more interesting it becomes :D

Do Skeppy and Bad need to eat? If so, do they have favourite foods and can they cook?

Does Skeppy have pets of any sort? Does he like animals or have any that he particularly fears? I find the idea of Bad comforting him after a not so nice encounter super cute!

It's pretty obvious they hate the littering teens but what about little kids. Does Bad often lure then deep into the forest to see all the prettiest flowers and cute animals? Has he ever tried to adopt one before realising that wouldn't be a very good idea.

Does Skeppy get defensive about the forrst when he's in the town, like cutting off people who try to say it's a horrible place, or is he good at controlling his emotions?

Do either of them actually need sleep or is it just for fun (or in Bad's case a way to pass time). Does Skeppy ever sneak into the forest depths to nap alongside Bad? Is Skeppy considered short by humans? I assume Bad teases him for being tiny since he's pretty damn tall/large (defending on form) himself.

Also do you have a favourite animal? N who's your favourite to draw in this au?!

Once again, so many questions '>_<. I always look forward to updates for in the dark, all the extra bits are so cool to learn about! I'll probs have even more after a while too haha. Hope you have a great day!! <3

Oh, that's a relief! Gonna ramble freely now :D

And, yes, hello, the questions! (with doodles now!)

1) Food.

Bad doesn't really need rest or nourishment (his health is connected to the forest), but he indulges in both. Sleep, yes, he uses to pass the time (or have dreams, for the heck of it). And the desire to get food or hunt is part of the instincts leftover from all the times he connected to the forest animals for a long time. Desire to eat food though is purely his own, as a person and not a spn creature :D

Back when he was a human, he could cook pretty good, and I bet his favorites were pastries and steak. Nowadays, in the forest, he can eat meat pretty much any day, raw or otherwise. So, after being awake and coherent for long enough time, and reconnecting with himself a bit, Bad will miss eating baked stuff way more than any other food.

And, yes, getting fresh muffins is one of the reasons/leverages Skeppy might try to lure Bad to hang out in the town.

Rat eats and sleeps too, but Bad isn't sure if she does it out of necessity or habit.

Skeppy, oh, he is one of those people who can burn water. In part, the blame goes to his nature - or his lack of control over it - chaos inducing tendencies do not go well with following recipes.

Which is unfortunate, seeing how he does need to eat, and sleep, and so on. Sure, he can last way longer without any of those things than a human would, but he still needs them to survive.

So, his favorite food is pizza, and all home-cooked meals stayed in the past, when Skeppy still lived with his family.

2) Sleep.

So, yes, Skeppy needs to sleep! But I'd say he will not go out to the forest at night for it. Not at first, at least.

First time, he just stayed out for a long time, very far back from the forest's edge. And the forest is so dark, it’s hard to judge the time in it at evening hours… By the time Skeppy noticed that it got very late, the whole journey back would’ve taken him too long to get a good rest at home. But, really, he didn’t have to make it. Nothing in these woods would hurt him, as long as Bad is around, and he’s… here, Bad’s around. And he knows the best moss-covered nooks between the roots, and is very, very warm all the time, and is kinda worrying anyway… Bad knows his woods are safe for Skeppy, but he doesn’t want him going around town at night when Skeppy is distracted and tired.

And this is how the first sleepover happens: with Skeppy declaring he’s stealing Bad’s cape to burrito himself in for the night, and (after the pretend-fight about it), doing so while Bad is still wearing it. It turns out for the better though, because the cape is not that warm, even if cozy, but Bad very much is. Enough to sleep nicely through the night, and dream of the vastness of the forest, the quiet peace of earth underneath, and of the tree branches reaching for the sky, to pass on the wishes tied to them further.

Bad doesn’t sleep that night, just watches over the snoring cape-caterpillar snuggled to his side (in a very not-creepy way, oh no). He puts some old dry leaves in Skeppy’s hair to make fun of him in the morning, and totally doesn’t scare him, when Skeppy half-wakes up early in the morning to a glowing milky white eyes of not really human looking Bad staring right at him.

Next time Skeppy stayed out in the forest for too long, and had to spend the night, he maybe did it almost kinda half consciously on purpose. Because he wasn’t sleeping well, and the loneliness and the stress of life were getting to him a bit, and. He is very much touch starved. And the dreams he had in the forest last time were pretty nice too. Like resting so close to Bad let Skeppy feel what he feels, perhaps? Anyway. It was nice. But he couldn’t just ask for stuff like that right upfront then, so the shame and creativeness lead his way.

At some point he will ask to sleep near Bad upfront, though (:

3) Kids.

Oh, little kids Bad doesn't mind. Also he remembers too much about being human to lure kids away, or think having one at the forest will be a good idea :D I'd say, if some little kid gets away from their parents or a common walking path, Bad could lead them back instead. Send them to chase after a bunny or a pretty butterfly, leading the child back to safety.

Bad never shows himself to the kids, and there is a bit of self-deprecation in this. Just like there is a bit of kindness in the way he treats people, despite always showing how angry and done he is with them.

That is a weird, interesting contradiction Skeppy is very fascinated with.

4) Height.

Skeppy is short by human standards :D And his less human form is even shorter, so Bad absolutely makes fun of him for that. Oh, I'm sorry "lightly teases him, with no mean intent to it at all" (c) Bad, smiling with all his long, sharp teeth

5) Skeppy and the townsfolk.

After knowing Bad for a while, knowing how Bad sees the forest, and how, despite his anger, Bad still can't help but watch out for some people of the town too... Yes, with all that, Skeppy will find himself getting angry at times over people bad-mouthing the forest.

But he can't really talk back here. After all, it was him, and his mischief that reawakened old rumors, old fears, made people more paranoid about the forest than they were before.

Skeppy's little pranks took hold, and him being in town and going around the forest doesn't let people forget how scary and dangerous this place can be.

So yeah, before he lets himself properly call out someone about being mean to the forest, Skeppy gotta face all that. Fun times :D

6) Favorite animal and fav. character to draw.

I think I like to draw Bad more, because he can shapeshift, and the horns/branches are fun to twist around :D But I liked doing Skeppy's reality breaking effects too!

And idk if I can pick one favorite animal :D I just really like snakes, cats, orcas, and all corvids.

Thank you, this ask really made my day! Even if it took me a bit to answer it XD

---

In The Dark - masterpost

[insertsomthinawesome]

15 and 25 for the art asks? :D Also 7 for poses? (If that's not too many questions)

It's not too many at all! There's 30 questions so I think it's pretty unlikely we'll get them all anyways. xD

15. How long does an average piece take you to complete?

Oooh, that’s actually a bit of a hard one to answer, cause it really depends on what exactly I’m drawing, if that makes sense? Like that set I just posted two days ago with the Diluc and Kaeya outfit swap with Ignis and Noctis. It took a day (maybe 4-6 hours?) to get all the sketching done for that. I don’t remember how much time exactly each piece of the image took after though?? So I would guess it took 24 ish hours maybe?? (Actually now I’m thinking that’s too high. xD) But I like right now I’m working on an illustration, so lighting, background stuff. It’s also on the complicated side, to me. Um, and I’m not sure how long it’s taken at all. xD Rough guess based off the vibe though is probably 18 – 24 hours per large illustration or multi-picture detailed image set? Some of the smaller doodles (like the asks) don’t take more that 4-6 hours, probably more around 2 hours if I was better at focusing. xD

25. Do you like to draw in silence, or with music?

Music all the time. Sometimes I forget and leave the music off, but usually that lasts only about a half-hour before I notice and turn something on. xD

7. How often do you use references?

Um, if we’re talking images online, almost never. It’s something I want to/should get better at, I used to be in the habit of doing so and got out of it asdfasdf. A lot of times however I’ll use myself as a reference, or friends if they are so willing. I’ll look at my hands or sit the way I’m thinking of, that kinda thing. :D

[that-otome-potato]

Making Up for Lost Time

This was something I put together for a request sent to me by @lancermylove ages ago. Request: You don't have to do all or even any of the requests I'm sending in. XD Here's my other idea: Kokuyou and s/o grew up together in an orphanage. Kids were mistreated there and s/o was always targeted, but Kokuyou always stood up for her. I imagine kid!s/o not getting food and kid!kokuyou sharing his food with her. They stayed together even through their teen years and even got intimate (nsfw sprinkles, if you like)~. Then one day they had an argument over something at the old Starless, and she disappeared. Kokuyou thought he left her, but she was kidnapped. She was rescued by Kei or Sotetsu and ended up getting engaged to him. When she met Kokuyou, she didn't recognize him, much to his shock. The rest of it, I leave up to your creative mind~. <3 Pairing: Kokuyou x MC (name insert) Rating: NSFW - Explicit Warnings: Kidnapping, detailed sex scene. Note: I'M SORRY THIS IS 6 MONTHS LATE!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! Read more to save space because this is a long one...

There were many things Kokuyou found himself regretting throughout his life.  Decisions he’d made only to find out he’d been wrong, actions that ended up hurting himself or others.  There were fights both physical and verbal, arguments that would lead to tears and wrinkled brows.

It was the same with his relations with __________, but it didn’t stop the passions the two of them had afterwards.  Perhaps that was why he sometimes started the heated arguments they would have, because it would often lead to him taking her against any flat surface he could find, the level of privacy depending on how fast he could steal her away from prying eyes.

The two of them had been friends since their days in an orphanage.  __________ was the new kid and some of the older boys were picking on her, stealing her food, the day he met __________.  It was survival of the fittest back in those days and there was something about the way her eyes peered into his, touching him soul deep even when both of them were so young, that drew Kokuyou to her.  He became her personal protector despite her protests.

Many years later, he had been walking down town, skipping school, when he came across a place he’d never seen before. Underneath an unreadable sign, there was a half hidden door that had been propped open. He shrugged and began walking past when he heard music coming from within.  Something about the style made his legs move towards the entrance.  Inside, it was dark all around the stage, but the stage itself? Lit up like the sun shining on snow covered ground in the middle of winter.

After being asked to join when Koharu had discovered him practicing along with the group on stage, Kokuyou brought ___________ in as a stagehand since she couldn’t be a part of the performers and he couldn’t bring himself to not have her near.

~A couple years later~

“Hey you!  Have you seen __________ anywhere?”

The stagehand smiled down at an older Kokuyou.  “Made her run off, have ya?  You two are always attached at the hip, but you sure argue a lot.”

Koharu raised her head up from the other side of the stage where she had been working on some decorations for the next show.  “I saw her run off towards the back door.”

Kokuyou turned to follow, but was stopped by a small hand on his bicep as he passed her. “Kokuyou, I know you’re young and have a lot of time for thoughts of the future, but I know how much __________ means to you.  You guys have been friends - and more - for over ten years.  I know you love this old place, but don’t you think it’s time to choose?  Starless or __________?”

Twenty-one year old Kokuyou threaded his fingers through his hair and released a huff.  “__________ wouldn’t ask me to do that, Koharu.  She loves this place almost as much as I do.”

“Then think of your future.  Is she in it?”

“What do you mean?  Don’t ask me such a stupid question.”

“You might want to remind her of that.  Especially when she sees other girls and women draped over you, night after night.  It’s why you fight more often than not, right?”

Kokuyou stared down at the older woman.  She looked worried about what was going on.  More so than usual.  He just shrugged it off, turning to go back to work.  “Koharu, you worry too much.  She always comes back, you’ll see.”

He rubbed a painful throbbing that had formed in his chest as he went to follow her.

~Six years later~

Kokuyou woke with a start as the memory of the day __________ had disappeared bore down on his subconscious.

She never came back.

He sat up and clutched his head to keep the memories from that time from taking over, but it never worked - they always blocked his vision of anything else until they had run their course.

The memory about how he had waited three days after not finding her in the alley, before he called her phone only to find out her number had been disconnected.  When he had gone to where she worked when not at Starless, they hadn’t seen her in as many days.

‘Must have really pissed her off this time.’ Kokuyou remembered thinking to himself after receiving the news from her job. Eventually, he had left that thought alone in the back of his head.  He’d pined silently for her, kicking himself for fucking up so bad because he never told her his feelings for her. Koharu had been right - it wasn’t his style, but he should have told her that she wasn’t just his fuck buddy and best friend.

All these years later, it was still one of his greatest regrets.  He just threw himself into Starless more after, trying to get past her loss. But it wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be.

At times like this, by himself in his room, he thought about her. His early life was filled with memories of her that played before his eyes now like a movie. How they’d met as kids, the time she had given him a black eye because he was new to teenage hormones and had said something she hadn’t liked.  How they grew up together, were each other’s first kiss. How they had acted on their attraction after he’d graduated, when she was in her third year of high school.

The memories from then on hurt him the most.

Those memories were softer, more intimate, where Kokuyou showed _________ what he felt for her with his body rather than with his words.  He told her how special she was to him when he would carry her bridal style to the bed they shared.

‘You are beautiful’ when he would place kisses all over her barred flesh.  ‘You are my world’ when he touched his lips to the heat between her legs, worshiping her as she deserved, making her cry out in pleasure.

‘I love you’ when he entered her slowly to set a steady pace he knew would set her body aflame with desire, his own always responding in kind.

‘I need you with me’ when, after their thirst for each other was quenched, he would face her in bed to take one of her hands and lace their fingers together and hold her tight against his larger body.

Now, Kokuyou rubbed his large hand over his face and flopped back onto his back in the bed they’d once shared.  He placed his hand on the side of the bed you had favored, spreading his fingers out as if seeking the heat you left there, long since gone.

His stomach clenched as the last days they had spent together returned.  How they had come together in a frenzy after a particularly intense rehearsal with the other guys.  The muscles of his lower belly tensed, the tip of his hard manhood weeping and begging for attention.

Kokuyou took himself in hand and began stroking, thinking about how __________’s lips used to feel around him, sucking him deep.  The way her body gripped him like a vice the closer she got to climaxing as she rode him hard and fast.  In mere moments, thoughts of their sexual activities over the years they were together brought about release, leaving thick streams over his skin and pooling in his bellybutton.

When his heart rate calmed again, he let out a ‘tch’ with disgust.  When would it end?  Why did no other woman he’d been with since then, haunt him like __________ did? Was it her spirit refusing to leave him alone?  He immediately cut that thought off.  He refused to believe anything happened to her that was irrevocable and meant they woudln’t meet again.  She was out in the world somewhere, living her best life away from Starless - away from him - and she was happy.

It had to be enough.

Kokuyou turned over to look at his phone charging on the bed next to him and saw he still had an hour before he had to get up.  He had to get his head in the game today - It was the first day of a new versus challenge, and his team was up against Rindou and his crew.

‘Might as well start warming up then’.  He thought to himself as he sat up once more, flinging his legs over the side of the bed to place his bare feet on the cold ground.

An hour later, he was at Starless.

~*~

After warming up with the rest of Team W and going over the performance one more time, Kokuyou and the rest of his team went into the locker room to change into their performance costumes.

“Has anyone else heard about Sotetsu’s lady friend?”

“Why?  That’s K stuff.”

Takami, who had asked the question, shrugged, his blood red eyes flashing with his smile.  “I bring it up simply because no one else has mentioned it. I felt the topic merited conversation.  Particularly since it’s Sotetsu.”

When he received a number of confused looks,  Takami released an exasperated breath. “There is no greater teaser of women in all the city than him.  What kind of woman is she to have gotten so close to him?”

‘__________ would have,’ Kokuyou’s thoughts wandered as he pulled his shoes on.  He ‘tsk’d, shaking his head to scatter such thoughts.

The small sound he had created caught Takami’s attention, drawing his studious gaze unbeknownst to him.

Hours later, the show having just finished, Kokuyou and the rest of that night’s performers were just finishing changing when Sotetsu poked his head in, still in his Wait staff attire.

“Everyone decent? V.I.P coming in.”

“V.I.P? What the fuck is he on about?” Kokuyou wasn’t expecting a reply, but got one from Sin.

“Sotetsu’s V.I.P.”

Kokuyou pushed his curiosity away.  That bastard’s friend had nothing to do with him.  He was just finishing packing his gym bag to head home, when he heard a voice that made his entire being freeze in place.  One he never thought he’d hear again.

‘It can’t be…' he thought to himself as he turned slowly, his brows furrowed deep as his crimson gaze honed in on Sotetsu before moving to the woman next to him.  He felt a gasp catch in his throat in its attempt to escape.

It was __________.  At first, he hoped his eyes were deceiving him, that his dreams from the night before were affecting his waking world, but Sotetsu introduced her by name and it was Kokuyou’s missing lover.

A look of displeasure became etched deeper and deeper on Kokuyou’s face.  What the hell was going on?  Where has __________ been for the last six years?  Why is she with Sotetsu of all people?  He wanted, needed, to know, but all the pain he felt after and since she disappeared came back in one fell swoop, making his chest hurt. Something he didn’t like at all and he felt the need to knead his chest muscles with his knuckles to relieve the tension.

When Sotetsu got to him with the introductions, her eyes widened then furrowed ever so slightly with a look of confusion. So, she recognized him.  There was infinitesimal relief at that information that had managed to get past his upset at her arrival.

Back out in the break area outside the locker room, Sotetsu left her with Team W so he could help his own team with something.  The moment Sotetsu was out of sight, but before his team could move in on her with their curiosity, Kokuyou strode over to her on long legs, gripped her upper arm with his strong hand, and dragged her towards the back alley.

She protested, but he barely felt it.

Once outside, he let her wrench herself away and she spun on him, hackles and fist raised in defense as she faced him like a cornered animal.

“What the hell is going on?!”

“I’d ask you the same thing, __________.  What are you doing here with Sotetsu?”

She bristled at his question.  “I don’t see how it’s any of your business.  I don’t even know you!”

Not much could shock Kokuyou.  But her words caused his body to cease any kind of movement and his eyes went wide.  Didn’t know him?  How was that fucking possible/  Sure, he’d changed a bit over the last six years, but they’d slept together for years before that.  No one could know him better than her.

Kokuyou reached out and clasped her shoulders to make her focus on him. “What do you mean, you don’t know me?”

__________ moved her arms to her front, as he’d taught her when they were younger, and quickly broke his hold on her before shoving the palm of one of her hands up into his nose.  Pain exploded from where she had hit him and he reared back.

“Motherfucker!” Kokuyou howled, his hands moving to cover his injured nose, relieved that it was somehow not bleeding.

“I mean, I don’t know who you fucking are beyond Sotetsu’s introduction, asshole.  Touch me again and I’ll kick your ass into next week.”

A sense of nostalgia came over Kokuyou as she stormed off back towards the others, the exact same way she had the last time they’d fought.

He needed to talk to Sotetsu since she likely wouldn’t speak to him any time soon after the way he acted.

~*~

The next day, Kokuyou found Sotetsu in the back alley taking a smoke break.  Kokuyou took out his own pack of cigarettes from his pants pocket as he sat on one of the stairs and pulled one out.  He cursed under his breath when he pat his pockets down for his lighter and it was missing.

He eyed Sotetsu for a moment. “Can I get a light?”

A moment later, Sotetsu flicked the tab on his zippo and it flared to life.  Kokuyou leaned forward, lit the end and took a drag of his cigarette before sighing.

“What’s on your mind, Kokuyou?” Kokuyou looked at the side of Sotetsu’s head from where he sat two steps up behind him and to Sotetsu’s right.

“That friend of yours…”

“What about her?”

“You know her past?”

Sotetsu released his own sigh, a wisp of smoke escaping and moving up into the sky. “Nah, though not for a lack of trying.  Why? Do you know something?”

‘Ever the info broker.’ Kokuyou simply shrugged.  “Knew her back in the day.  Doesn’t remember me though."

Sotetsu looked at him from over his shoulder for a few moments.  Kokuyou could feel his limbs twitch under the other man’s gaze. Kokuyou readied himself to decline any further questioning the other man may want to perform, but Sotetsu just shrugged and focused his golden gaze forward.

“Want me to talk to her?”

Kokuyou frowned.  “Why? What would be in it for you?”

Sotetsu took another drag from his cigarette, released the smoke, and smiled at nothing before him.  “For entertainment’s sake, of course.”

Kokuyou just rolled his eyes, causing the other man to chuckle. “I’ll be straight with you, Kokuyou.  It’s more than entertainment.  She’s my friend and I want her to be happy.  She is also a nut I’ve been unable to crack since I met her because she doesn’t remember her childhood.”

This caught Kokuyou’s attention. “She doesn’t remember anything?”

“Yeah.  I’ve tried asking her about her past, but when she doesn’t avoid the subject altogether by talking around it, she unintentionally alludes to not knowing things.  Even her birthday.”

Without even realizing it, Kokuyou blurted out her birthday, then immediately pursed his lips tight to keep from offering the other man anything else. Sotetsu just smirked.

“Thanks for that.  Now I know when to celebrate.  To repay you for the date, a little info for info.  Over the last year that I’ve known her, I’ve gotten two impressions from her: Something traumatic happened to her and that she cared deeply for someone from her past.  Since you say you knew her once, maybe you’ll be able to help her regain her memory.”

Kokuyou watched Sotetsu stand to go back inside before turning back to stare into the alley behind the shop.

“Oh, and Kokuyou?” Kokuyou looked up at him again.  “If you hurt her, I will insist on a rematch between us. Next time, I won’t lose to you. More will be at stake than my pride.”

A scoff escaped his lips at the brunette’s boastful proclamation. He had learned his lesson when she had disappeared the first time.  He wouldn’t let his anger get the better of him again. At least he’d try not to. ‘Memory loss, huh? Makes sense now.’

The question he really needed to ask was after how he’d spoken to her earlier, would she listen?

~*~

Several days later…

“Kokuyou? Sotetsu said you wanted to talk about something? He said you might be able to help me find out about my past.”

‘Meddlesome asshole…’ Kokuyou sighed when he heard __________’s voice.  Though he had a few other choice titles to bestow the Team K member, he was also a little happy for the other man’s help.

Several days had passed since Sotetsu’s introduction.  In that time, __________ had only been back once and when she had been here, it had felt as if she had been avoiding him the whole time.  Honestly, he couldn’t blame her after the way he’d grabbed her - his nose still ached.  So when he watched her approach him now from under the table he was at, he couldn’t help but feel a little leery on the inside.

“Yeah, I know about your past.  Are you sure you want to know?  That you’re ready?”  A nod from her made him pause as he finished repairing the table in the audience area, then moved until he could look up at her.

She stood above him, arms crossed under her breasts, pushing them up enticingly, yet he noted the way her hands gripped the elbow of the opposite arms. She gave off an air of being strong and in charge with her words, but her actions spoke of anxiety and fear. Of what he might tell her in answer?  Understandably, but this wasn’t the same woman he knew before she disappeared.  What happened to her?

Kokuyou stood up from the floor and pulled a chair out.  He set it backwards against the table, flung a leg over the side and sat, crossing his arms over the back before looking at her. He tilted his head towards the chair next to him indicating she should sit down, which she reluctantly did, never releasing the hold she had on herself.

“What do you wanna know?”

__________ looked down at the top of the old, chipped, wooden table before looking back up at him with determination.  “Where am I from? How do you know me?”

Kokuyou scratched his chin as he looked at her, then nodded when that determination remained.  “You came to the orphanage that I’d been living in when I was, oh, eight or so.  You were six. Don’t know why you got left there, never asked.  Didn’t even notice you at first until one of the other kids in my age group and his crew started picking on you.”

He carded his fingers through his blood red locks and let out a sigh.  “Dunno why, but I felt compelled to help you with them.  Even after they stopped bothering you all together, I couldn’t bring myself to stop trying to protect you.  There was just something about you that drew me in and I didn't want to leave.  You were fun, witty, smart.  We were friends until I was nineteen and you were seventeen."

"Is that when I lost my memory?"

'Should I tell her we were sleeping together?' Kokuyou asked himself, looking away for the first time since he started.

"Kokuyou?  What happened next?"

He released a sigh.  After she had disappeared, he had sworn to himself that if she ever returned, he'd never lie to her and would put her first. But how do you tell someone who'd lost their memory that you used to fuck?

"Our friendship remained, it just...evolved to something more."

"More? As in..." Kokuyou turned to face her, red eyes locking on hers and refusing to release.  Her cheeks colored a pretty shade of dark pink and that told him she'd caught onto his meaning.  "I...I see."

One of Kokuyou's dark eyebrows shot up nearly to his scarlet hair.  "You believe me?" __________ nodded.  "Why?  Because of your lost memory, we may as well have just met.  Everything I just told you could have been a lie."

She just nodded.  "You're right about that.  I don't know.  Something about seeing you makes my stomach feel strange but not in a bad way.  Perhaps it's similar to your story about how we met?  Besides, you're the only one who's made me feel like that and gave me some form of answers about my past.  Not even Sotetsu could help me find out about my past. All though, he probably could have complied an entire history on me if I knew my last name, birthdate, etc."  She continued staring at him, any trace of her previous blush was gone.

"Trusting you feels right."

Her last words were like a punch in the gut because she had said something like that when they were kids.  "You've said that to me before." Kokuyou felt a small, soft smile form unbidden on his lips.

__________ gave him a look of surprise for no longer than the blink of an eye before scooting her chair closer to his and placing her smaller hands on either side of his face to make him focus on her. An awkward moment followed where she stared deep into his wide eyes as if trying desperately to find something hidden in their depths.

What was she looking for? Could she see the answers she sought in his eyes? Could she see his last memories of her, with her back facing him as she stormed off, playing back over and over in his head over the years? How that thought, and the accompanying regret, haunted him until this day?  The regret he felt for not going after that day and how he took for granted that she would always return?

A shorter version of __________'s name escaped his lips, deep and raspy, as if he'd spent too much time in the smoke surrounding a campfire - like sandpaper on wood on a humid summer day. A tone and texture reserved for the bedroom when two lovers are in the midst of passions, when sugar sweet words get whispered between them. A voice that only she had ever caused him to use - no woman since had done so.

He watched as her eyebrows flew up under her bangs in surprise, followed by a slight pinkening of her cheeks, before her brow scrunched hard as if in deep thought.  A grunt of pain escaped her when she looked to the side while still clutching his face.  Kokuyou reached up to gently hold both of her wrists in his hands, concern flooding him. "__________?  What's wrong?"

In a snap, her eyes went wide and she shoved herself away from him despitehis grip on her.  She covered her mouth with her hands as she sent herself flying back in her chair.  Kokuyou moved with her in reflex, to catch her so she wouldn't hit her head on the polished concrete floor.  He managed to wrap himself around her, her neck in the crook of his arm and his other arm around her waist, as they fell to the floor with a crash of chairs and tables he'd hit on their way down.

Once they'd settled again on the floor, Kokuyou shifted so he was looking down at her in concern.  He wanted to chuckle because she'd managed to keep her hands cupped over her mouth and eyes tightly shut during the entire situation, but he didn't feel the time was right.

When he heard the sound of multiple sets of feet rushing over, all expressing shock and concern at the cacophony the two of them had made, Kokuyou waved them off, assuring them everything was okay and that he'd teased her too much.

As soon as their audience had vacated - Kokuyou could still feel Sotetsu's eyes on him - he used his hand not under her to show her rare tenderness when he brought his hand up to stroke her cheek with his palm, moving strands of her hair from her face.

"You good?  What was that?"

His focus honed in on her when he felt her whole body shiver at his touch.  The sensation was achingly familiar to him from their days as lovers.

After a few moments of silence, __________ sighed.  "Kokuyou? Did we argue a lot... before?" Kokuyou grunted his confirmation as he paused his hands movement on the side of her face.

"I...I think...I see..." She uncovered her face and looked up at him with tears in her eyes.  Hope dared to flare in his heart at the flicker of recognition growing in her eyes.

Kokuyou quickly sat up, bringing __________ with him, never taking his eyes off of her. "Do you remember something?"

She cast her gaze around as if with new eyes, then they landed on him and she smiled before wrapping her arms around him.  When she pulled herself close to his pierced ear, she whispered, "I remember everything."

Kokuyou turned his head to stare at her in shock.  She remembered everything? "Everything?"

__________ nodded. "I remember how I stormed off after our fight.  I'm sorry I'm so late coming back."

He turned away from her and wrapped his strong arms around her tight. "Stupid, you don't need to apologize for that. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," he growled into her shoulder, pressing his nose to her shirt, taking in her familiar sweet scent.

She nuzzled her nose into his neck, her hot breath on his flesh sending chills down his spine. "If I'm not allowed to apologize, neither are you."

They embraced for a time, not nearly enough to make up for their six-year separation, before Kokuyou pulled away enough to look into her shining eyes.  He tilted his head slightly in question as to why her eyes were watering and she chuckled. __________ just shook her head.

"You look older than I remember." This made Kokuyou grown playfully at her before huffing.

"You haven't changed a bit."

There was so much he wanted, needed, to say. So much he should have told her before she disappeared for six years.  But no words came forward.

"Let's go to my place.  Can't talk here." ___________ nodded immediately and they left the shop, hand-in-hand.

~*~

After being attacked by two dozen gazes of differing emotions as they left Starless, Kokuyou and __________ were back at his place in no time.

Kokuyou watched her as she walked around the small apartment;  eyes taking in every detail she could see aorund her, soft fingers trailing along every surface she came in contact with to feel familiar textures.  He could hear her take in scens around her with happy little hums.

"Nothing's changed? In all this time?"

Kokuyou's shoulders lifted and he gave her a look of indifference.  "Been busy at Starless and keeping Mizuki out of trouble."

Things instantly quieted and he knew why - his dedication to Starless.  The reason for their arguments.  He knew it was a problem he'd had from the beginning, but he wasn't going to change.  She had known that, yet it had been upsetting to her enough to storm off where it wasn't safe, leading to her getting caught by an unknown enemy.

"Sotetsu mentioned him.  Team B's leader, right?" Kokuyou nodded.  He felt everything inside him freeze and heat up at the same time when __________ returned to stnd before him. She gently placed her smaller hand on his chest, the heat of her touch seeping into him, thawing the ice that had formed in her absence.

She looked up at Kokuyou again for a moment tht felt like an eternity. "I was wrong."

When he looked at her in confusion again, she smiled softly at him.  "You've changed.  You've become even more handsome than I remember." After she gave her words time to sink in to his thoughts, she offered him a frown to match his own.

"Kokuyou, I have to ask:  After everything that's happened over the last six years, could there ever be an 'us' again?  Even when my memory was taken from me, my heart never belonged to another.  But I don't know if you feel the same."

He didn't know what to say in reply.  So many years has passed - faceless women, places, events - she had been like a phantom, a wraith, in the back of his mind, coming forward in his times alone where dark thoughts took over and when he needed release.  No one had replaced her in his heart. Yet she was the one asking about a potential future, a continuation of what they'd had before.

This had to be a dream.

His depraved mind was playing tricks on him again, making him think she'd returned.  He was still asleep in his bed - had to be.  Her scent, the feeling of her skin, her body against his, all figments of his imagination. If he was right, and this was his mind giving him a sight he'd longed for for so long, then he was going to enjoy it. If it turned out he was completely mad, then so be it.

Without uttering another word, Kokuyou placed his hands on both sides of her jaw and drew her into a deep, passionate kiss, thrusting his tongue past her lips when she gasped in surprise, to tangle his tongue with her own.

It didn't take her long to recover before melting into his kiss, pressing her body against his as if she couldn't get close enough.  It felt familiar, this kiss.  It felt like home. It felt different, too - the six year gap lending their meeting of lips a sense of newness.

Kokuyou moaned into her mouth that scorched him like the sun when she took his tongue between her sucked hard on it, reminding him of more things her talented mouth could do.

His hands trailed down her arms, her sides, pausing at the hem of her shirt, placing his thumbs under the cloth to touch the skin of her belly.  He marveled at the feeling;  Soft as velvet covering firm muscle, heating up under his finger the longer his hand lingered there.  He pulled away, their lips smacking at the separation, and he looked into her eyes.  Half-lidded, heady desire gazed back.

"Koku -"

Kokuyou felt a sound rumbling in his chest at the use of the shortened version of his name she had started calling him as children, something only she had been allowed to do.

Slanting his lips across hers, he took them hungrily once more.  He gripped the hem of her shirt and pulled away long enough to jerk the offending fabric over her head and allow her to do the same to his red sleeveless shirt, both articles of clothing flying off somewhere else in the room.

His lips were instantly back on her skin, attacking her neck this time and tasting the sweat that was leaving her flesh shining and making his mouth water.  He was spurred on by her deep groans and breathy moans, especially when she latched on to leave a petal-shaped mark on her neck, under her earlobe.

Through the fog of arousal currently clouding his vision and thoughts, he felt her hands touching his hard chest, curling her fingers slightly to leave red lines on his tanned flesh.  Without warning and with surprising strength, she pushed against him hard enough for him to fall back on the bed.  He looked up at her in surprise as she immediately jumped onto him to straddle his hips, his arousal pressing against the zipper of his jeans to nestle comfortably in her cleft through her cloth pants. He gripped her hips with his large hands to steady her, relishing in the feel of her body on his in such an intimate way.

Kokuyou had to choke back a moan as __________ began rocking her hips back and forth along his clothed shaft, her body undulating like a wave in the ocean. His hands moved from her hips, up her torso under her shirt, to cup her breasts through her bra, feeling her pebbled nipples against his palms.  __________ didn't seem satisfied when he didn't squeeze her breasts, so she placed her hands over his and made his hands grip them harder without ceasing how her hips were moving over him.

"Fuck, _________, you been practicing?  Where did you learn this?" Kokuyou panted out as he took her nipples between his calloused thumb and index fingers, rolling them with his digits.

"I've always been lusty, I'm remembering. Might have seen this on a vid or two and wanted to try it but no guy over the last few years has been the right one.  Not Sotetsu, either, though he expressed interest." She let her voice trail away as the quiet was filled with panted breath and the rustling of clothes.  Then she looked at him and stopped moving all together. "So Koku, when are you going to fuck me?"

Kokuyou blinked up at her in surprise before smirking.  He sat up straight, wrapped his strong arm around her waist and flipped them over so he was looming over her.  He used his arm around her to move her further onto the bed, then he used his free hand to pull her bottoms off, the heat from their activity burning him from the inside out, flaring hotter when he found she wasn't wearing panties.

He raised one dark eyebrow in question towards her.  All she did was shrug.  Kokuyou chuckled and finished removing her bottoms, leaving nips and kisses on the revealed skin of her body and lower.  Pants cast elsewhere, he pressed his middle and ring fingers against her entrance, finding no resistance from the level of arousal she was feeling. Pride filled his chest when her body shivered from the top of her head to the tips of her cute toes.  A rumble escaped him from deep in his chest, his body moving down and curling to place his lips on her sensitive bud above where his fingers were sliding in and out of her body.

__________ reached into his hair, gripping the crimson strands hard and holding him closer as he devoured her, drinking down the sounds she was making and the desire pooling between her legs.

"K...Koku, wait.  I... I want..."

Kokuyou released her clit with a wet pop before looking up at her while licking his lips clean of her sweet essence. He smirked at the sight of her eyes dialating with desire and following his tongue along his lower lip.

"What do you want, __________?" He eagerly awaited her answer with a smirk as he continued slowly moving his finger within her, scissoring them to stretch her for him so she couldn't feel pain.

She used her grip on his short hair to pull him up so she could take his lips that shone in the dim light of the room, tasting her arousal on him.  "I want to fuck like we have six years to make up for and not a lot of time to do it."

Kokuyou nearly choked in surprise as her words caused an intense shot of arousal straight to his groin.  "That can be arranged."

He almost didn't recognize his own voice for how much deeper and raspier it was with his desire.

Kokuyou sat back, __________ moving with him, and together they removed his pants and boxers lightning fast. __________ fell back on the bed again, Kokuyou falling on her, their torsos gliding against each other easily from the sheen of sweat on both of them.  As he moved forward to kiss her again, he hooked both of her knees with his hands, pressing her knees up near her shoulders, his shaft drawn towards her heat as if controlled by magnets.  With one easy snap of his hips forward, he was completely sheathed inside her.  __________ called out and he looked towards her in concern, thinking he'd hurt her somehow, but all he saw was her flushed face and blown pupils.

__________ reached around her sides to grip his hips when he didn't move once inside her, and dug her blunt nails into his skin and growled in frustration.

"Come on, Koku.  Show me how you've changed.  Unless you've gotten rusty..."

A bark of a laugh, rare in sound and form, escaped him at her challenge. "Damn, woman, gimme a sec.  It's been a while since I've felt this good being with someone.  Couldn't have things end too soon, right?"

"Like at the school festival my final year of high school?"

Kokuyou frowned at her before giving her a punishing thrust and smirking at her gasp.  "Why didja ahve to bring that up now?  I'm gonna have to prove myself now." __________ started giggling until Kokuyou pulled his hips back again and plunged back into her hot depths  and she gasped again, reaching for his forearms to leave rescent marks on his taught, tanned flesh. The marks darkening when he rubbed the crown of his manhood along a particularly sensitive spot within her body.

Over the next several minutes, with his hands holding her hips steady, while the speed at which Kokuyou moved within __________ increased, making her quiet gasps turn into shouts of pleasure.

Kokuyou could feel her body tightening, forming a vice grip around him.  He trailed a finger from her hips to her belly button, up between her breasts and across her collarbone, with a feather-light touch even as he conintued his near punishing pace. While the one had was moving up behind her neck, his other hand moved between them where their bodies were joined, to rub little circles around her clit. He was determined to make her find release twice before he found his own.  At least at first - the night was still young.  His pride demanded it after her comment earlier.

Before he knew it,  he had __________ screaming her release, drawing blood from where she had latched onto his arm with her nails. Kokuyou paused for a moment to be sure he wouldn't be following her in her bliss, but he didn't quit his ministrations on her body, doing what he could to keep her orgasm going.

"That's one." He smirked at __________ and, before she could say anything or protest, he flipped her over onto her stomach, pulled her up by her hips so she was on her hands and knees, then re-entered her body and receiving a cry of surprise.

"O-one? One what? Orgasm?  How many are you planning to pull out of me!?"

"You're talking too much.  Seems like I'm not doing my job right, keeping anything but gasps and moans from leaving those sexy lips."

___________ turned to look at him from over her shoulder, lips slightly parted as she panted for breath.  Kokuyou leaned over her to probe those pouty lips with his fingers until she opened fully for him, running her tongue over his digits, tasting herself on his skin.

Kokuyou used the anchor he had of his fingers in her mouth.  He gently tugged back until she was on her knees, her back to his front, his manhood still buried deep inside her.  __________ made a noise of confusion past his fingers, but it soon melted into a heady groan as he began moving once more, hitting spots inside her she didn't know she had. He offered a groan of his own when he felt her wet heat squeeze him.  He leaned in to press his lips to her ear at the same time he placed his free hand on her lower belly with his fingers splayed to cover more space.

"You still affect me the same way you did before. The way you move, the way you talk, how you sound when we're fucking, how you touch me and I, you. If anything, you have an even greater affect on me now than ever before.  I just wanna stay right where I'm at forever, even after both of our bodies collapse from exhaustion." She reached up with one hand to pull his fingers from her mouth.  "You...nng...may get your...aah!...wish, Koku."

From constant stimulation from his movement, even after he made her come once, he could feel her muscles contracting around him again and could feel a vibration wracking her body.  His glutes tensed when she grabbed his ass with her other hand. "Have I brought you close to falling apart again already?" His whispered words against her ear made her shaking intensify, his pistoning hips moving faster, chasing his own climax still with her help.

"What do you think?  Now give it to me harder, Koku.  I won't break."

Kokuyou sighed heavily at her words, feeling them course through him like a drug shot straight into his veins.  He pushed her back down on to the bed, took both sides her hips into his hands again, and proceeded to drill into her at a punishing pace, sweat falling from his temples in rivulets, dripping down his sculpted torso to mix with her arousal on his cock as he moved.

Several choice curse words escaped his lips when her body gripped him tighter and tighter with her impending release.  He could feel his own crawling up his shaft with each second he held back. "I can feel you getting close, you're gripping me so tight.  Making it hard to hold back."

"Then don't hold back."

"Sure..." he panted, brows furrowed in concentration and his long, strong fingers moving to her nub once more to apply pressure to help her reach her end.

All it took was a few passes of his rough finger tips on her sensitive flesh for her to scream her release, soaking him and the sheets beneath her.  Kokuyou waited as long as he could after she climaxed before following her into the oblivion of release, pulling out just before his orgasm exploded from him in thick, white streams over her shapely ass and back.

He slowly leaned over her back and bit on her shoulder gently, affectionately, before collapsing onto his side next to her, pulling __________ in close - her back to his front while they caught their breaths.  When they had calmed, __________ turned over in his arms to wrap one of her own around him.  Kokuyou looked down at her the same time she looked up and they shared a tender kiss.

"That was better than I remember.  You've been practicing?"  Kokuyou wasn't sure how to answer her.  Tell her the truth or shake it off? Distract her with more loving as he'd planned and promised?  She gave him an out before he could decide.  "It's ok, you know.  We weren't together.  I probably would have never remembered you if we hadn't met again."

"Yea, I practiced a bit, but they weren't you, so it wasn't the same." He let silence fall between them before asking what he had wanted to since she walked in the door with Sotetsu. "I have to ask... what happened when you disappeared?"

She cast her gaze down to stare at his collarbone while he maneuvered them around to take her hand not already on him and laced their fingers together.  "I... was grabbed and knocked out in the alley.  I remember fighting my attackers, but ultimately failed. Woke up in a glass box with breathing holes, wearing a hospital gown.  No one spoke to me directly though there were other people around.  I screamed at them to let me go, I screamed for you to find and save me, for someone to release me.  I screamed so much that I lost my voice for a time. That's when they would take me to a room with a surgical table with monitors all around, strap me down and hook me up to those machines.

"Then the whispers started and my memories of anything before that day began to fade as if they never existed.  There were a couple times I almost remembered, but then they would play a song and it'd disappear again.  I don't know how they did it or why,  but I'm not sure I want to know now. What if it makes me forget again?"

Kokuyou pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead.  "Things are different now.  I'll protect you better this time."

__________ nuzzled against his bare chest and sighed contentedly, as if she had been waiting to hear him say that forever.  "I love you, Kokuyou."

His heart gave a heavy thump.  She'd said it when they were younger, but it'd been so long ago, he'd started wondering if it was fabricated by his mind.  Then Koharu's words from the day __________ had disappeared came to him about reminding __________ how he felt. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

"I Lo..."

"Oi! Kokuyou!  Where the hell are ya, big bro?  You ran off without finishin' ya shift!"

Kokuyou grumbled about kids interrupting things under his breath and __________ giggled.  They heard Mizuki pause, obviously listening because he'd heard something.

His hearing was becoming more canine, because from the outside of Kokuyou's bedroom, he shouted, "__________ is with ya? Wacha doin'? Fuckin'?"

Kokuyou shot out of bed and pulled on the pants he'd worn to Starless that day, hurrying to his door before the kid could barge in and see __________ in her state of undress.

"I'm about to beat some manners into him, I swear." He growled, making __________ laugh as he exited his room and coming face to face with the younger man.

Mizuki did his best to try to see past Kokuyou, who was blocking the open door, but Kokuyou gently cuffed him on the side of the head, earning the younger man's ire.

"Wacha do that for!? I was just curious."

"Too curious." Mizuki just glared at him. "Yeah, that's __________.  It's a long story I ain't gonna tell ya right now, so leave it."

"Yeah, yeah," Mizuki rolled his golden eyes and went up on the tips of his toes to call out past Kokuyou's shoulder.  "Sorry __________!"

"It's ok, Mizuki." __________ came up behind Kokuyou wearing one of his shirts, exhibiting no shame in her lack of clothing.

Mizuki blushed slightly when he saw her then looked at Kokuyou for an answer.  "We dated when we were younger and were catching up."

"Catching up while naked?" Kokuyou saw the disbelief on his face and made his hand into a fist again.

"What if it, kid?"

"Koku, be nice.  He was worried when you left the shop suddenly." Mizuki's eyes went wide at her use of the short version of his name.  Kokuyou saw this and glared at Team B's leader.

"Don't go gettin' ideas. Only she gets to call me that."

Mizuki shrugged and looked at __________. "So, did ya 'catch up'?" Mizuki added air quotes to the last words with his fingers.

"That's gonna be a work in progress.  I haven't seen Kokuyou in a few years."

"So ya gonna be 'round for a while?"

"Yup.  That ok?"

Mizuki rolled his eyes again as if that was the dumbest question seh could ask.  "Of course.  Just don't disappear again."

"Can do!" she replied returning the fist bumb he offered her.

Satisfied, Mizuki turned away from the room and went into the small open kitchen, grabbed something in the refridgerator and gave it a sniff for freshness and a soda, then left out the front door.

There were several moments of silence as both Kokuyou and __________ stared at the front door where Mizuki had left out of.

"So.  Think he'll be back sometime before midnight?"

"Possibly.  He's probably hanging out with his team, planning the next event."

"We have the apartment to ourselves again."

"Yup."

"Wanna pick up where we left off?"

"Hell yeah!"

__________ quickly moved behind Kokuyou, reared back her open palm and slapped Kokuyou on his ass before running into the bedroom with cackling laughter.

"Oh you're gonna get it now, woman." Kokuyou smirked as he quickly followed her, both collapsing onto the bed together to pick up where they left off in their goal of making up for the last six years separation.

-------------------------

[nataliedanovelist]

My 2020 Tumblr Top 10

1). 471 notes - Oct 6 2020

I would fucking die for this owl.

2). 303 notes - Feb 9 2020

GF - Dr. Mystery (A gift I did for the amazing @siro-cyll​.)

Ever since the Pines family had returned to Gravity Falls for the summer, Soos and Stan shared the role of Mr. Mystery. It was primarily Soos’ responsibility so that Stan could sit in his boxers for as long as he wanted, but every so often - to give the old man something to do or so Soos could work on a project or a repair - it was like the good ole days with the original My. Mystery scamming tourists and a humble handyman making the shack stand strong.

Unfortunately, Soos caught a bad case of the summer flu, and so to try to keep two old men and two young teenagers from getting sick, he quarantined himself in his room and Stan had to fill in the My. Mystery role. It felt good to be back in his old ways for a bit, amazing gullible tourists with made-up attractions; he had been doing this for thirty years, he could do it for a week, right?

3). 253 notes - Feb 5 2020

GF - Tiger Stripes (Another gift for @siro-cyll​!)

With the soft, warm steam coming from his mug, the pleasant early-morning sun baking his naked chest, and the cool breeze awakening his senses gradually, it would be an understatement to say that Ford was comfortable.

The breeze ruffled his fluffy charcoal-gray hair playfully before disappearing, leaving behind a still Summer’s air. While it is true that he became cold easily, one of the reasons why he wore turtleneck sweaters all year-round, the star his planet revolved around warned his exposed skin pleasantly and Ford felt no anxiety nor unpleasant chill as he stood on the porch, watching the day begin.

4). 240 notes - Sep 8 2020

1 Minute and 4 Seconds of Pain (This was both fun and painful to put together. Credit to everyone in the video who participated.)

5). 197 notes - Feb 14 2020

GF - Sweatertown (... I may or may not have gone overboard back in Feb. Sorry, @siro-cyll​. ^^; )

It was raining that day. Maybe that was why it took Ford awhile to decide that it wasn’t a figment of his imagination he was hearing, or another natural sound the woods would make in this weather. No, no it was definitely crying.

6). 180 notes - Oct 9 2020

GF - Can’t Stand It (Oh gosh, a gift for @ho-ne-ye​ that she AND @sealbatross​ were kind enough to draw for. Thank you so so much guys!)

Stan was having a bad day. Well, a bad week. Scratch that, a bad month.

It was March, a beautiful time out in the Arctic. For several weeks the Stan twins hardly ever saw the sun or didn’t see it at all. Closer to the holidays they traveled down south to Northern Europe, exploring the United Kingdom and the Northern Islands in order to enjoy daylight, but now that Summer was approaching and Spring was on their side, the Stan O’ War II was moving up to sail above Canada, breaking melting ice and meeting new creatures.

7). 163 notes - Mar 18 2020

GF - Boxing (... How does the saying go? What goes around comes around? Do something nice and the world will do something nice in return. Huh. I’m noticing a pattern with all of my top 10s... Anywho! I did this one for @artsymeeshee​!)

It all started back when the Pines family first arrived back at the Mystery Shack. Mabel was up in the storage room (It was much fuller than wise, but the attic was used as a bedroom at the moment.) and had dragged Dipper along with her to help find some old photographs. With only two weeks to work on her special birthday present for her grunkles, she needed all the help she could get in making them the perfect gift: a new scrapbook full of old photos of Glass Shard Beach and pictures Mabel had saved on her phone and was going to print of the old sailors out at sea.

8). 136 notes - Feb 10 2020

GF - Arm Wrestling (ANOTHER gift for @siro-cyll​! Seriously, they’re a gem for tolerating me. XD )

Fiddleford cleared his throat, a feeble attempt to get his colleague’s attention, but to no avail. He sighed and sat cross-legged on the grass, his backpack full of gear by his side. He propped up his head by his chin and on his fist, his elbow on one knee, and he watched half-bored, half-amused, as his best friend arm-wrestled a unicorn.

And no, the author did not mean to put down “harmed, wrestled and mourn”, nor did the composure of this tale mean “alarmed and sworn in”. No, the anomaly-researcher was truly arm-wrestling a unicorn, and had been at it for a few hours now.

9). 127 notes - Oct 27 2020

GF - Amalia (OH MY! @artsymeeshee​ had blessed us so I had decided to give her something in return.)

The snow reflected the tiny amount of sunlight the capital of Iceland received. Spring was coming, though still a ways off, but the large island still welcomed the sun that was starting to rise earlier every day and stay longer as February was coming to a close.

10). 123 notes - Jul 26 2020

GF - Counting Stars (A gift for the wonderful @sealbatross​!)

Original comic belongs to @sealbatross! GUYS, they’re so talented, I luv ‘em! GO SHOW ‘EM SOME LOVE!!! Sorry it’s a little choppy, but the original comic just flows SO WELL! I highly recommend checking the original post. 

[mordoriscalling]

Stay or Sail Away (5/6)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4  (@geraskier-trashh​ @negativenuggetz​)

A/N: oh lord this wasn’t supposed to be 3k words long XD Hope you like it tho!

***

It was a bad idea to tell Geralt not to wear all black. Well, the scarf is grey and the coat and the shoes are black, but they don’t matter. Geralt’s just taken them off to reveal a three-piece suit and a shirt with two top buttons undone, the clothing in a deep, navy blue colour. His eyes stand out beautifully against it. Geralt in navy blue makes Jaskier want to weep and it’s only half-past noon. To add to Jaskier’s tragic swoon, Geralt’s hair is braided away from his face into a lovely plait at the back of his head (which Jaskier suspects is Ciri’s doing). It just shouldn’t look as good as it does. Geralt is so stunning today that words other than what the fuck do not begin to cover it.

Not to blurt out that in lieu of a greeting, Jaskier spreads his arms wide and exclaims, “Ahoy, captain!”

Geralt snorts with disgust. “Never say that again.”

Jaskier laughs out loud. “Come in, come in,” he says as he ushers Geralt into the living room, “make yourself at home. Are you hungry? It’s last chance for a snack before I put on some eyeliner and we’re off!”

“Eyeliner?” Geralt repeats with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, to finish off this look!” he replies as he gestures at the floral Gucci suit he’s wearing. The outfit’s actually demure considering his usual fashion choices. Bright colours and ridiculous patterns are his go-to but today is the first day of his life when he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself. Much. “Help yourself with something from the kitchen if you want,” he says over his shoulder, already leaving for the bathroom.

The makeup takes just a minute or two – eyeliner application has become much less of dark magic with practice. He decides to put on some pretty pink lip gloss as well because, although he’s going to spare his family today and won’t flaunt his queerness at them, he still has to do something. It’s not at all because he hopes his fiancé might like it.

(Geralt’s suit)

(Jaskier’s suit)

When he strides into the living room, he poses like a model and asks, “How do I look?”

Geralt, who sits on the couch, stares him up and down. His gaze almost makes Jaskier blush, so does his smirk. Both border on appreciative. “Really good,” he says.

Since Jaskier expected some mean comment, he almost topples over in shock at the compliment. He sputters, definitely flushing a bit, but quickly re-establishes a working link between his mouth and his brain. “Of course I do, darling,” he replies with a wink. Geralt smirks in that sexy way again. Jaskier has to give himself a good mental shake to stop staring. Clearing his throat, he starts thinking out loud, “So! Have I got everything for the party? I’ve got Geralt, and then the present, and then... Ah! The rings!”

Jaskier sits down next to Geralt and pulls the box out of the pocket of his jacket. Raising the lid, he reveals two rings seated within, one silver and one gold. “Should I kneel?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Geralt growls.

Jaskier laughs with delight, then takes out the silver ring and passes it to Geralt. It’a simple but chunky band with tiny engravings. Jaskier figured Geralt wouldn’t appreciate anything too showy. Geralt takes it and inspects what’s engraved on it. “What kind of flowers are those?” he asks.

“Buttercups,” Jaskier explains, “That’s what my name means. My grandma always told me I’m a jaskier.”

Pretty but poisonous. It’s extremely fitting.                                    

Geralt only hmms and slides the ring on his finger. It’s a perfect fit but it’s no thanks to Jaskier’s genius deduction or anything; he simply knew Geralt’s ring size because Geralt told him. After their phone conversation regarding ring preferences, family drama and other things, they kept talking. Geralt even began starting conversations by himself – he’d send some texts about Ciri like “Ciri says hi” or “Ciri’s playing that song again”. It made Jaskier melt every time.

“Look what you bought me in return, darling,” he says, smiling excitedly, and puts on the gold ring. It’s much more flashy than Geralt’s – a signet with a three-dimensional head of a wolf. “White Wolf” is apparently Geralt’s nickname and a pseudonym of sorts. Wolves are his favourite animals, too.

Jaskier holds out his hand, putting it next to Geralt’s on the couch, and admires the rings on their fingers. “They suit us,” he says quietly

Geralt hmms. “They do.”

The drive is two hours long. Geralt insisted on driving even though it’s Jaskier’s car. Jaskier has a suspicion that driving is an excuse not to listen to him as he’s going over the essential family drama, but it’s mostly for his own sake anyway. He just wants to delude himself that Geralt will be well-prepared for everything and all will go smoothly. They will be fine. They must.

When they pull up in front of Jaskier family’s mansion, panic and second thoughts wash over him alternately in cold and hot waves. As they walk out of the car and Geralt hands him the keys, Jaskier hides within himself and observes the reality unravel a sense of detachment. He doesn’t want to be a part of the upcoming disaster.

“Ready?” Geralt asks.

Jaskier only looks at him helplessly. Geralt offers him his arm and Jaskier takes it like a lifeline. He clutches on it, the touch grounding him, as they walk towards the front door silently.

“Should’ve guessed you were rich,” Geralt remarks as he takes in the mansion looming before them.

“My success in music is all my own,” Jaskier replies feistily, “it took me ten years.”

Geralt wisely doesn’t say anything else and Jaskier settles down, letting out a shaky breath. He always gets very defensive of his achievements. Sis parents paid for nothing; he never asked them to. He hates that people assume differently.

The entrance hall is empty when they invite themselves in, but not for long. Just as they manage to take off their coats, they hear someone coming down the stairs. Jaskier looks up to see Rozalia, his older sister. She’s only one year older than him but doesn’t look a day over thirty. In appearance, she’s all mum: luxuriant dark locks, cat-green eyes, tan skin, and regal features.

“Julek!” she exclaims with a smile and rushes down the stairs into Jaskier’s open arms. They laugh when their bodies collide.

“Hey, horror sister!” Jaskier says, the words their special greeting.

“Hey, wild brother!” Rozalia replies, as tradition commands.

When Jaskier releases her from his embrace, he goes on to introduce Rozalia and Geralt to each other.

“So this is your fiancé,” Rozalia drawls after she and Geralt shake hands, clearly amused, and looks Geralt up and down. “Holy shit. I can see why you kept him a secret.”

Jaskier purses his lips, putting a possessive arm around Geralt’s waist. “Roza, you’re married.”

Rozalia only smirks, then turns on her heel and starts walking down the corridor towards the living room. “Everyone! Julek’s here!” she announces loudly.

“Julek?” Geralt mutters to Jaskier as they start following Rozalia.

“Diminutive of Julian,” Jaskier explains quietly.  

“Sweet.”

“Shut up.”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

Jaskier snorts under his breath but doesn’t reply. The sensation of detachment from the reality is there again and Jaskier doesn’t fight it – the distance between him and everything else wards off the impending panic attack.

Like in a dream, he sees his other sister Amelia, who’s five years younger than him, marching towards them, her mop of short golden curls bouncing up and down as she walks. With her sweet face and wide blue eyes (just like Jaskier’s, which they both got from their dad), she looks like an angel. (Spoiler alert: she’s not. She can be the worst. That’s kind of the youngest’s privilege, though).

When Amelia hugs him and Jaskier introduces her and Geralt to each other, he’s still in a daze. Amelia walks on his side as they all enter the living room, chatting about something to him, but he doesn’t really hear it due to the ringing sound in his ears.

“Jaskier?” Geralt’s voice rumbles.

Jaskier looks into the sun-like, concerned eyes. The warmth calms him down. 

He takes in everyone in the room: his parents, Alfred and Wanda. Amelia, Rozalia and her husband Silvio. Dad’s brother, uncle Konrad, with his wife and son Ferrant. Mum’s sisters, aunts Maria, Hanna and Anna with their husbands. All watching Jaskier and Geralt expectantly.  

Jaskier puts on his best smile and lays a hand on the small of Geralt’s back. “Everyone, this is Geralt Rivia. A Royal Navy commander,” he says and observes, delighting in the array of shocked reactions his family display. “My fiancé,” he adds with pride that he doesn’t even have fake.

A round of introductions follows. Geralt shakes everyone’s hands and says nice things like “honoured to meet you finally”, “Jaskier told me so much about you” and “I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you earlier”. It’s actually pretty convincing, Jaskier has to give him that. Still, it doesn’t stop one of the questions Jaskier dreads the most.

“But why didn’t you tell us anything, darling?” his mum asks as everyone sits down at the table in the dining room.

This is it, Jaskier thinks mournfully, this is when it all goes to hell. At least Geralt sits next to him. It would be a quick departure – Jaskier will just grab his fiancé and run out of the house.

“Exactly,” Amelia seconds, her slender arms crossed before her chest, “it isn’t like you. You would tell the whole world about your engagement in some wild Twitter thread.”

Shit. She got him there. “W-well, I...”

“I asked him not to,” Geralt comes to the rescue. At the confused looks from everyone around, he goes on, “Not until I go on at least one more deployment and Jaskier’s absolutely sure he wants this. He should have it easier in case he changes his mind. Fewer people know about it, less painful it is to announce.”

Jaskier’s dad frowns. “But why do you assume he’d do that?” he inquires, regarding Geralt with suspicion.

“Being in a relationship with a marine officer is hard,” Geralt replies with a heavy sigh and makes a dramatic pause. Jaskier’s family looks at him with almost bated breath but he takes his time, the bastard. He already has them hanging off his every word. “My deployments are rarely shorter than nine months long,” he confesses ruefully.

A stunned silence falls over the room. Jaskier’s family stare at him with disbelief – they all know Jaskier wouldn’t be able to survive a relationship like that, not with how needy he can be.

Of bloody course Geralt would take it too far at the very start.

“But I’m stubborn!” Jaskier exclaims as cheerfully as he can, “Won’t have anyone else but Geralt.”

“Well, that’s all you,” Amelia says, and Jaskier heaves a sigh of relief.

It’s not that Jaskier doesn’t appreciate Amelia’s inquisitive mind. She’s always had the tendency to analyze and look into everything until every fact and detail adds up. Her character makes her the perfect heir to the family business, which she’s agreed to gladly. Ever since she made that decision, Jaskier choosing music is much less of a painful topic for their family. And so, Jaskier certainly values his younger sister’s nature of constant question-asking, but not in moments like this.

Amelia appears to already know what is going on here and Jaskier only prays she’ll be nice enough not to delve into it too much. Maybe some warning glances from Rozalia and begging ones from Jaskier will stop her. Maybe.

Food is served, alcohol starts flowing. Jaskier’s family begin asking Geralt about himself but Jaskier always tries to twist the conversation so that questions about their relationship don’t come. Until they do.

After they sang dad happy birthday, told him their wishes and gave him the gifts, it’s time to eat the birthday cake. Just when Jaskier puts half of his slice on Geralt’s plate (he doesn’t even like cake), Silvio asks, “When did you two meet?”

Geralt and Jaskier share a look. Jaskier opens his mouth to answer but it’s Geralt who says, “It was two years ago. I walked into a bar where Jaskier was playing. He asked me for a review of his songs after his performance.”

Geralt has the audacity to smirk at him so Jaskier, just to be a little shit, adds, “In three words or less!”

Geralt doesn’t appreciate this contribution judging by how he narrows his eyes at him. Jaskier knows they’re treading a dangerous ground – in their stupidity, they didn’t discuss the details of their “first meeting”. Geralt started it, though.

“And what did you say?” Silvio questions.

“That they don’t exist,” Geralt replies without a beat, still staring Jaskier in the eye.

“Whaaat don’t exist?” Jaskier’s father says what Jaskier himself almost blurts out.

“The creatures in his songs,” Geralt explains.

The affronted noise that leaves Jaskier's mouth is beyond his control. “It’s folk! The genre allows for fantastical elements like that!” He huffs. “But you know, Geralt with his commander mind always wants the facts and only facts.”

“So you don’t like Julek’s singing?” Rozalia asks Geralt.

Geralt denies this with a shake of his head. “Jaskier sings beautifully,” he replies, “Like a siren.” He lays his hand on Jaskier’s and looks into Jaskier’s eyes. “My siren,” he adds quietly.

Jaskier has to gape a little. He barely restrains himself from mouthing are fucking serious? because, really, Geralt can’t just say things like that. When he regains his composure, he decides to be mean. “I told you not to call me that, dear heart,” he says, “Not exactly flattering. Sirens lured sailors to their demise.”

Geralt does that lethally adorable head tilt and answers, “Still would go for you.”

He can hear aunt Maria cooing in the background, bless her heart, but Jaskier almost doesn’t register it. His attention is fully on Geralt – there’s something new in his gaze, beneath the teasing glint. Something guarded, tentative and true. Jaskier cocks his head to the side just a little bit. Geralt notices the question in the gesture (they’re really getting good at reading each other, aren’t they?) and answers by raising an eyebrow, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Jaskier experiences the feeling of a thousand butterflies fluttering their wings in his stomach when he understands – it’s an invitation. He accepts.

Geralt’s lips stretch into a small smile and he squeezes Jaskier’s hand on the table, intertwining their fingers together. Jaskier’s heart almost gives out and he grins, giddy like a teenager who’s just found out their crush is reciprocated. It’s not that far off from the truth anyway.

Uncle Konrad asks Geralt about the Navy. The two of them start discussing working in the army but Jaskier only half-listens, too focused on cherishing the feel of Geralt’s palm engulfing his. Until Geralt takes his hand away, that is.

With a displeased grunt, Geralt takes his phone out of the inner pocket of his jacket. The screen displays an incoming call. “I should take this,” he says apologetically and quickly walks out of the dining room.   

The moment Geralt leaves, the assault is unleashed upon Jaskier. His family bombard him with so many questions and remarks at once that he only hears what Rozalia sitting next to him says. “Didn’t know you were into older men,” she comments, swirling the wine in her glass innocently.

“He’s forty!”

She frowns. “Then what’s the deal with the hair?”

Jaskier freezes in panic. Fucking hell, what is the deal with the hair? He has no idea. Geralt refused to answer his questions. “W-well,” he stutters out, “it’s really... uhh...” He clears his throat. “Not my story to tell. Geralt doesn’t like to talk about it.”

Rozalia hums, an amused twinkle in her eyes. “How mysterious.”

“He sure does seem mysterious,” uncle Konrad chimes in, “And...”

“Quiet?” Ferrant suggests.

“Taciturn?” Silvio supplies.

“Closed off?” aunt Hanna adds.

“Why are you saying it like it’s a bad thing?” Jaskier cuts in, interrupting this merry-go-round offering of adjectives before it spirals into everyone calling Geralt a brute.

“It’s not,” aunt Anna reassures, “It’s just that... I’m sure I’m not the only one wondering how on earth the relationship is even working with him being like this and you being, well...” she trails off and gestures at Jaskier with her fork. “You.”

“Frist off, I’ll take this as a compliment –”

“Of course, dear.”

“ – and secondly, even though we’re different, our differences only keep things... interesting, if you get my meaning.” Jaskier throws in a telling wink, and his uncles chuckle.

“Julian!” both his parents cry out, scandalised.

“Honestly,” Jaskeir goes on, unmoved, “deep down, he and I are quite the same.”

“Indeed?” Amelia asks, “Is he also a bastard at heart?”

“Yesss!” he hisses out, wildly pleased. Sometimes he loves Amelia’s analytic mind.

“He actually seems like a sweetheart,” his mum says, warming Jaskier to his very heart. He loves his mum so much – she always sees the best in people.  

“He’s both, really,” he replies, “He’s certainly a sweetheart to his daughter.” Jaskier delights in shocking his family once again. Then, an idea pops up in his mind, “If you ask him about her, he’ll open right up.”

Before anyone can ask anything else, Geralt returns. After taking one look at him, Jaskier knows something is wrong. There’s tension about him but his face is a blank mask. 

“Something wrong, love?” Jaskier whispers, barely realising that he even said the endearment.

“Work,” Geralt grunts.  

“Geralt,” Jaskier’s father says, “Julian tells us you have a daughter?”

Geralt face lights up immediately. It’s such a charming sight. Jaskier’s chest constricts with how everything in him screams and begs don’t ever go. 

“Yes,” he answers and launches into talking about Cirilla – how old she is, where she goes to school, what she likes doing. How she loved to paint her little hands on the walls when she was six. Soon after that, everyone shares funny stories about children, either their own or themselves as kids.

Jaskier zones out a bit, too busy wondering why Geralt took his hand away when he reach for it.

Later, Jaskier’s parents invite Geralt to stay for the night, which makes the fake-fiance scheme a success; they wouldn’t allow someone who they thought to be a stranger to sleep in their house.

Geralt doesn’t take them up on their offer.

TBC

Part 6

***

A/N: Rozalia is the Horror while Jaskier is the Wild 💕 (Amelia is the nasty angel baby. They adore her for it. Must protecc).

(Also, I love making up OCs, can you tell? XD)

[riverin-stories]

The 6-year anniversary (6 years!!) of Something Lost is coming up within the next week or so. I normally skip out on making celebratory art pieces out of laziness or simply a lack of will. I’ve been meaning to make a new banner piece for myself lately, and decided to have it double as anniversary art as well, even if it’s a week or so early!

(For more about the piece, the ideas behind it, and what it means to me personally, check below the cutoff!)

Lineless digital art is incredibly new to me; I only started trying it out with a commission from a close friend. The desire to do so was mostly thanks to a fatal flaw I realized about my art style. Characters with less structured / more shapeless hair were terribly difficult for me to draw, to the point that I shied away from drawing them digitally in any capacity. I tried out digital painting for the commission, and was delighted that I was able to really draw the character’s hair the way I wanted to! I set my heart on something similar when I started this banner art, though I made cleaner outlines to really get things to be the shape I wanted.

With lineless digital art came... layers. A lot of them. Granted I ended up deleting a few, but the total count was around the 100 range...? It was a lot. ;-; Miyaka herself has a lot of layers / parts to her outfit and design, so that’s likely at least part of the reason. I also very rarely draw Miyaka with her cloak digitally. I think I’ve simply disliked outlining it because of how thick the linework came out, and that was always a little jarring compared to the rest of her lines. It also covers so much of her outfit if it’s not in motion, and I guess I like showing off her coat. xD

I skip out on Miyaka’s sword (Eon’s vessel) most of the time, too. Freehanding it seemed like a lot of trouble, but I surprisingly managed to get a really good curvature! Hopefully I can use it as a reference if I want to draw it in the future. ^-^

The reason why I decided to go the extra mile for the piece was mostly because it was doubling as an anniversary piece too. Still, I also wanted to draw it similar to a few older digital pieces of Miyaka I did years ago for comparison, and to see the growth my art style has gone through. I added in the coalescing mana as well (the glowing lights) for an extra kick, as well as to give a sort-of reason for Miyaka’s cloak to be wildly in motion. Putting all of it together kind of reminded me of the appeal her overall design had when I first came up with it, and how it took me back to the earlier days when the project was first just beginning. ^-^

The text was a last-minute decision I realized I could add thanks to Inkscape. It kept on saving the final image in a WAY smaller resolution, so I had to work on that for half an hour before figuring it out and getting everything the way I wanted it to be. Having the mana lead up to the glowing title just gave it a really nice sense of continuity, and I really think it turned out nice. 

The quote below the title is something Miyaka says in the most recent draft of the story. Ultimately, Miyaka has been searching for a place to call home, having really lacked a permanent one since she was young. Her old home was lost with her memories of her childhood, and she’s been chasing after that almost all her life. She comes to understand that home doesn’t have to be a tangible place that she can go back to, or even just a place she can go back to at all. The people around her who she cares about comprise her home, her family.

ANYWAY!

I’m hoping that this banner will be something I took back on as a testament to my growth as an artist and a writer. I had no idea what Something Lost would become when I first started it back in high school. It’s kind of overwhelming to know that I’ve kept this project near and dear to my heart, not to mention I’m continually working on it so that it can be the best it can be! Its ever-growing cast of characters has continually pushed me to hone my skills, and I could never be more thankful for it.

Thank you so much for viewing if you made it this far into the post. Hopefully, the ramblings about the project and this piece were interesting, if nothing else. I hope you guys liked this, and have a wonderful day!

- Akami

[c-rose2081]

Cookie Hearts

Day 5 of EOA Ship Appreciation Week. As I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, I wanted to focus less on romantic love, and more on familial love. So this story isn’t necessarily a ‘ship’, but more of what resulted from the ships XD

•••

“Vista! Hermana!”

Feeling small hands shake her awake from sleep, the half-Sirena’s eyes slowly peeled open. According to the clock on her bedside table and the darkness of the bedroom, it wasn’t even dawn yet. Groaning slightly as the hands continued to persist with some vigor, Aryanne had somehow managed to get up onto the bed and was straddling her with both knees.

“Pequiña...wa’sit? What’s wrong?”

“It’s Val-tine’s day.” The six year old insisted quickly though her lisp, still shaking Vista as though she weren’t yet already awake, “get up! You hav’t help me.”

“It’s too early, niña. Go away...”

“But Vista! Pleath! Pleath! Pleath!”

The girl bouncing up and down on Vista’s hip, the 22-year old heaved a deep, annoyed grunt. If only the toddler on her lap was a dream she could just wish away.

“Alright! Alright, I’ll help. Stop bouncing on me.”

The bouncing immediately halting, Vista felt bare feet scurry back off the edge of the bed. And as a small body tossed herself out the door and into the hall, the woman left behind ran a hand though loose hair. She didn’t know what exactly Aryanne had in mind, but apparently being up early was necessary.

Rolling from the comforts of sleep as she tossed a shear robe over her nightwear, Vista yawned as she passed into the hall. Aryanne was no where in sight, but Miguel was waiting at his post as usual.

“Officer Cortez.” Vista greeted him unhappily, “what is the meaning of letting an overactive toddler into my room before dawn?”

“She had a weapon against me.” The boy insisted, his face struggling to remain straight, “I can’t have the threat of her waking up the whole castle hanging over my head, your majesty.”

“Uh-huh. Where’d she go, anyway?”

“Down the hall to wake your cousin,” Miguel mused, hands folded gently behind him as Vista once again yawned.

“Any idea what she’s after this time?”

“Not a clue. Sorry, Vista.”

“Wonderful. Well...at least Javier is getting dragged into this too.”

As she spoke this, Aryanne came thundering back down the hall. She was covered head to toe in white powder, so much that a hazy cloud formed wherever she stepped. Behind her, Javier wobbled from his room, glasses missing from his nose as he scratched his dreads. Waving a quiet greeting to Vista and Miguel, they merely waved back as Aryanne sprinted circles around them.

“Alright, pequeña.” Vista mumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, “You got us up, what do you want?”

“It’s in the kitchen. C’mon, c’mon!”

Running towards the staircase at breakneck speed, the three adults merely shrugged between one another as they followed after her. It wasn’t hard, as her feet left a clear trail of white footprints on the red carpets. Passing through the articulating doors, Vista’s draw dropped. The kitchen was a complete disaster. Every cupboard was open, bowls somehow pulled down from their high shelves.

Aryanne had somehow managed to hoist bags of ingredients onto the counter like eggs, butter and milk. But the barrel of flour had spilled across the entire floor, which explained why the 6-year-old was covered in it.

“Sweet sunbirds...” Vista breathed, “Sparky what have you done?”

“Cookies!” The girl insisted, her brown braid bouncing as she clambered up onto the footstool and grabbed one of the empty bowls, “for Val’tine’s day.”

“Aunt Elena is not going to be happy about this mess.” Javier spoke, rubbing the back of his neck as Aryanne attempted to put some of the ingredients she had collected into the bowl, “what do we do?”

“I...” Not sure what to say, Vista sighed heavily. The pure look of determination on Aryanne’s small face was enough to soften her slightly. Like their mother, once the girl set her mind on something she wouldn’t quit. “...I guess we’ll make cookies. Maybe try and clean up the mess while we’re at it. Miguel, go stoke the fires would you, it’s freezing in here.”

Moving forward through the chaos Aryanne had created, Vista grabbed a few aprons and tossed one to Javier, “you’re on egg duty. Get to it.”

Merely nodding, the boy began to tuck his dreads into a ponytail as Vista grabbed her little sister by the waist. “Hold on, Sparky. Did you wash your hands?”

Receiving only a twinkling brown stare in return, the elder girl dropped her sister on the counter by the wash basin, “hands first, then we’ll get the flour off your face.”

“Then cookies?”

“Yes, then cookies. But you have to let me help you. Only a few should...”

“No, hermana.” Aryanne insisted, “the whole castle.”

Waving her arms in a wide ark as Vista used a washcloth to clean her face, the woman frowned.

“You want to make cookies for the whole castle? But that’s so many.”

“Everyone gets a cookie.” Aryanne insisted again determinedly, that look once again scrunching up her nose and brows, “it’s val’tine day.”

“Well...alright, I guess. Then we better get to work.”

Setting Aryanne down as she rushed back to the counter excitedly, Miguel appeared from the back room as Vista washed her hands. “We’ll be here a while. Hope you didn’t have any other plans, Miguel.”

“It’s my duty to serve the Princesses of Avalor.” He insisted, “besides, who could resist the thought of an entire day with you?”

Wagging his brows, Vista flicked water in his face as Javier rolled his eyes from the egg bowl.

“Yeah, yeah, keep your bad pick-up lines to yourself. We’ve got a job to do.”

Patting his chest as she passed by him, Vista returned to where Aryanne was reaching for something. “Woah, hold on. We need to measure first.”

Using a memorized recipe for sugar cookies her mother always made for Navidad, Vista began to help her baby sister portion out the ingredients, starting with the flour, a bit of baking powder and salt. Aryanne was content to watch from between her arms, brown eyes glistening as Vista sifted the layers into a bowl.

Eventually though, the little girl got bored and padded over to where Javier was cracking eggs, watching him do that from beside his shoulder. Mindlessly setting to work, Miguel was busy cleaning up the mess the little girl had somehow created in the time before she had come to them for help.

“I respect her for trying.” He mused to Vista, returning the flour barrel to its upright position and picking anything from the floor out of its top layer, “any idea how she even managed to get this stuff down?”

“Her magic probably.” Vista assumed, kneading the batter in her arms with a spoon, “she can control it if she sets her mind to something.”

It had been quite a shock to the royal family when Aryanne exhibited natural magical abilities at an early age. It still was, as the girl continued to learn how to grip her wild six-year old emotions. She no doubt levitated the bowls and ingredients down from the cabinets herself, but had lost her focus when moving the heavy barrel. That’s when she decided to wake them up. “Alright, this looks ready to roll out.”

Holding the dough ball in a hand, Vista began to roll it out with the pin as Aryanne came to tug at her nightgown. In her hand was a cutter in a distinct heart shape.

“Hearts for Valentines Day, huh?”

“Yep! I wanna try.”

Rolling her eyes at the command, Vista merely picked the girl up by the waist and set her down on the foot stool. Together, they began to punch out the heart shapes, Aryanne giggling with each one. Soon enough they had a tray of perfectly shaped cookies.

“Javier, do you mind slipping these in the oven? I’m going to start on another batch.”

Nodding, the teenager took the metal pan away to fire as Vista began a new bowl. They worked like this for a few hours, chatting casually as they worked, Aryanne flitting between them like a moth to flame. Eventually though, Miguel set the girl on rolling paper roses from napkins.

“Where’d you learn how to do that?” Vista asked him, her arm and shoulder aching from stirring for so long.

“My Mami taught me,” the guard responded, watching as Aryanne gladly began to show Javier how to roll flowers like he, “mi hermanas and I made them for everything.”

“Do you miss them?”

Vista knew Miguel had come to Avalor from elsewhere, and that he had left his family behind to do so. But the boy just shrugged slightly, using a finger to tuck a loose, flour dusted curl behind his ear.

“Sometimes. But I know that they’re better off when I’m here. I can’t thank your family enough for what they’ve done for me.”

Nodding in agreement, Vista blinked when a small snore reached her ears. Aryanne had fallen asleep amongst her flowers, leaning against Javier who was still focused on his task. “Looks like she’s all worn out.”

“And the day’s barely started.” Miguel chuckled, “we best be delivering these. The castle is going to wake up soon.”

Holding up a heart shaped cookie with a paper rose attached to it, Vista nodded in agreement as they began to fill baskets.

•••

When the Queen of Avalor awoke, the smell of baking hit her first. The weight of Mateo still beside her in bed, Elena sat up slowly with a wide yawn. The sun was well into the sky already, meaning she had slept in. What she wasn’t expecting though was the thing which had been left on her bedside table. Blinking groggily as she reached for it, her fingers wrapped around the cookie.

It was still a bit warm, and had a napkin rose impaled through its center. Blinking at it bewilderedly, Elena turned and shook Mateo awake. He appeared to have one on his nightstand as well.

“Mi amore, wake up.”

“Mm, what’s wrong?”

“Did you make these?”

Holding up the cookie, Mateo squinted at it from his side of the bed, then shook his head.

“Nope.”

Dressing quickly, Elena felt the strong urge to solve the mystery of the cookies. Mateo was right there with her, eating his as he dressed for the day. Out in the hall, Isabel was the first to meet them. She too had a cookie in her hand.

“Buenos días, hermana.” She greeted, “I see you got on of these to?”

Holding up the pastry, Elena nodded.

“I did, so did Mateo.”

“The whole castle got them.” Isabel explained, “the women are wearing their flowers in their hair, and the men on their jackets.”

Accentuating the point by tucking her own flower behind an ear, Elena tipped her head in curiosity. Of course she knew it was Valentine’s Day, but neither she nor Isabel had plans until the evening.

“I think I may know who’s responsible for this.”

Glancing up, Gabe strode towards them. He looked well awake, smiling slightly as he displayed the white rose flower tucked under his buttons. “Follow me, your majesty. You’ll want to see this.”

A mix of curiosity and worry overtaking her for a moment, Elena, Mateo and Isabel all followed the Captain of the Guard to the lounge. Holding a finger to his lips for the group to remain quiet, he pushed the door open.

The kids were sleeping by the fireplace, completely disheveled and covered in flour. Javier had sprawled out in one of the single chairs, while Vista had found a spot in Miguel’s arms, her head tucked up under his chin. Aryanne was half under the sofa, laying on her belly with an open book under her arms as she snored the loudest of the bunch.

Feeling Mateo wrap his arms around her, Elena smiled softly as she leaned into his chest.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, amore.” He whispered with a smile, “guess the kids beat me to it.”

Chuckling, the group backed out of the lounge as Gabe quietly closed the door.

“Yeah.” Holding up the cookie still in her hand, Elena happily secured the napkin rose into her ponytail, “guess they did.”

[comicteaparty]

March 28th-April 3rd, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble   chat that occurred from March 28th, 2020 to April 3rd, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

How many hours do you work on your comic per week, and how do you manager to balance that with other responsibilities?

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

heheh So we are.. cheating a bit Both me and my coworker are unemployed, and is working on hour comic, like was it a full time job. It is our passion project, and dream that we can work and live of makeing comics. In Denmark you can apply for grants from the government, but you need to have releashed a book before that is possible. We are useing the comic, to show potentional clients in the future what we can do. For now we are working on it from 09:00-17:00 ish (with a long lunch break) while applying for other kinds of grants, and also does all the things we are supposed to to get our unemplyment money, and searching for jobs, and freelance gigs, gathering the courage to start our own small company (not right now though) and yeaah time will tell

carcarchu

@Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS that doesn't sound like cheating to me? more like using the tools at your disposal to turn your passion into a viable career

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

hehe it feels a little like cheating! there are some debates about if it is okay or not, but we think that strengthening our skills is a good use of our time

eli [a winged tale]

Haha also not cheating! It’s great you’re using the time to chase the dream I’m curious what’s your breakdown for those time working on the comic? As for me, usually 1-2 hours a day with a bit more on the weekend if time permits. These days with the quarantine it’s about 2-3 h a day

DanitheCarutor

Since I'm unemployed until who knows when I've been working on my comic between 40-50 hours a week about 6 to 7 days a week... most weeks. Some days, like update day or chore day, I hardly work on the comic or don't work on it at all. Admittedly I'm not the best at balancing drawing with other responsibilities, sometimes I get so into it that I forget about daily house chores, other weeks I do the opposite and only do house chores which makes me totally behind of comic stuff. I can't seem to find a good middle ground, it always turns into completely focusing on one or the other.

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah when I get in the zone, time flies and life gets put to the wayside

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

So I have no school or work, so the webcomic has become almost a fulltime project for me

I average about 10 hours per day working on it, not counting on chores and exercise

Another thing I worry about is the possibility of carpal tunnel syndrome, which is why I've been relentless with exercise, too

I guess it's just a combination of relentless reminders and also sheer willpower that gets me to do other responsibilities haha

@eli [a winged tale] also I know that feeling

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

So since my school had to cancel, I have to be more responsible for my online course. Sometimes I give myself 2 days off each week to work more into my upcoming webcomic but I have to switch my mind for school work, online classes. Also extra time for food. I need to get back into exercise or I feel exhausted more easily. I keep a wall schedule so that I make it a routine to write what I'll do every 3 or 5 days, to keep my active brain reminded(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I spent the majority of last year (fun)employed (partially by choice, partially not! my previous job let me go rather unceremoniously... and I needed a hiatus anyway... so it worked out) so I poured a lot more hours into that chapter of Phantomarine than I usually did. I worked on it almost every day - at least for a couple of hours, but sometimes up to a full eight-hour day. That number has dipped tremendously since I’ve gone back to work, but I’m spreading the same amount of time out in a broader way. I’m trying to get a good buffer during my hiatus, so I can work and draw in a healthy balance. I don’t have crazy overtime at my current job like I did at my last one, so that’s already a comfort. I’m confident I’ll be able to hit a good stride once the comic returns in June (edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Can’t wait Lady!!

Feather J. Fern

Two part time jobs, and school killed my comic, but I been working on getting one panel done a day, which is around 30minutes to an hour if possible.

eli [a winged tale]

My routine used to be rendering on the commute but now just once in am and once pm until this limbo time is clarified

That’s awesome Feather! It’s so rewarding when everything comes together after putting effort everyday

Feather J. Fern

Once school is done in two more weeks I will be more free to do things so I hope to get maybe two panels done in a day XD

Online school, stupid quarantine

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Due to the pandemic im mostly off school and my part time job so i spend like 4-5 hours on my comic per day. Still would like try to get a page done per day but lmao digital painting is slowwww

eli [a winged tale]

What’s everyone’s tips for breaks/stretches/balance? I feel like I certainly need to revisit these to avoid burnout and continue feeling motivated!

Feather J. Fern

Actually there was a cool manga artist who's tip was literally he only worked working hours. His mornings are free and since manga was his job, he worked form 12-6, giving him 2 hours to do other work he needs to get done, and takes morning walks and stuff.

Another person I know had "No working weekends" as a thing becuase they are a freelancer.

I personally have try to make sure I ahve a routine, and actually, stretch before drawing.

Streetch before, during a break, and then after, to keep that body nice and warmed up

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Health-wise there's this hing for your : every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. I'm not good at following this, but when I do it, it helps a lot.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Despite the current pandemic, my work-life hasn't changed much (unless you count stress getting in the way). I am currently "unemployed," but I do consider comicking my full-time job. I am also not very good at balancing work and life. Something's always gotta give. Last year, I worked at a job that basically ruined my ability to work on my comic. I worked 30-40 hours typically, ruined my sleep schedule, took work home sometimes, and was constantly exhausted. This is what resulted in my year and a half long hiatus, and it's what drove me to work like hell on my comic when I quit. Now (when I'm in the groove and not suffering from art block), I typically spend 60-70 hours on my comic and get 2-3 pages done: - 30 hours sketching (I know, ridiculous) - 5 hours filling in base colors - 20-25 hours painting - 5 hours adding text, speech bubbles, sfx, and finishing touches - 1-2 hours formatting for Webtoon I also spend some time throughout the week typing up the script, doing concept art for things coming in the future of the comic, and preparing for conventions, but I can't tell you exactly how much time.

eli [a winged tale]

Thanks for the breakdown! I’m always keen to learn from everyone and seeing how the workflow is like for different people

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oh don't forget to do wrist stretches!

eli [a winged tale]

Ahh formatting time is always so tedious for me!

Yes wrist exercises! Any recommendations?

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

hmmm well the easiest one is literally just shaking it out

like every hour

and I also like to hold my arm out parallel, point my fingers up and using my other hand to pull the fingers back so i'm stretching the wrist

then I point the fingers down and pull on the fingers until my wrist is stretching

eli [a winged tale]

Awesome. Will be adopting those!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'm pretty fast. 2-6 hours per page, depending on how detailed it is. Average of 3-4. I could probably do 2 pages/ week easily enough, but don't want to do more than that. I'm the kind of person who always needs to be doing a million different things. I need to leave time for my other hobbies and my paintings and my academics and extracurriculars. Otherwise I'd get burnt out doing one thing only

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

@eli [a winged tale] So since it is both me and @Q (Wayfinders: Off Course) working, we start with working on a rough each, our goal is one step (so rough, ink, color) for two pages pr day, pr person. So in a weak the goal is four finished pages a week, and then we upload 3 pages per week. So it is divided that in the morning we start at 09:00 in the morning, maybe checking mail, being practical or whatever. Then we work until 12:00 were we eat lunch, go for a long nice walk and then we go back to work between 13:00 and 14:00 ish and then work until 17:00 when we begin to prepare dinner. Then of course breaks inbetween

Q (Wayfinders: Off Course)

It’s pretty wild to be able to dedicate your entire day to comics like that

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

damn you all work fast

do you guys have any tips on how to work on a webcomic faster?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Lol, I wish!

Still looking for those magical secrets

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@shadowhood (SunnyxRain) You know the 80-20 rule? You can get 80% of the result with 20% of the effort? My comic is very messy if you zoom in. I don't spend time making sure the linework or the coloring is perfectly clean. Also, I'm pretty fast at drawing figures. I used to practice figure drawing a lot by rushing to draw strangers irl before they moved, or by drawing a bunch of fast figures from the free figure drawing model websites online. I've also taken a figure drawing course (didn't even have to pay because it was part of my university! Even if you don't have that option you can probably find free life drawing sessions on Meetup or similar!) which really helped me streamline my process for drawing people

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh I see! Yes, I used to take life drawing classes too! And your response makes me feel a lot better

I tend to be a bit messy with inking, and since i'm a perfectionist a lot of my time is wasted on editing/clean up

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've seen cronaj draw, and while I think the results look excellent, I think her method is a kind of inefficient. She draws like a printer, nearly finishing one detailed body part before moving on the the next. I think maybe if she drew in a more classical way, going from a gesture drawing to progressively more detailed, it might help her be faster and her poses more cohesive and dynamic. Maybe working on 1 or 5 min figures would help? Practicing things like this?

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I try to do figure practices for efficiency

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I heard that there are some online life drawing vids you can follow too

but what are your experiences with online life drawing vids versus the real thing

like is there a real difference?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

found some of my old 1 minutes

To me there's not too much difference

I've heard some people say that life drawing is either way easier or way harder though. Because of your depth perception when looking at a real person

But the bruises on my legs can attest to my horrid depth perception haha. That might be why I don't notice a difference

Actually those previous sketches might be 30 seconds? I don't remember

I would recommend you try both but right now we pretty much only have the online option haha

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I’ve done both and I think irl creates complexity with depth and the interactions with others etc is helpful but online is my go to for flexibility

I think having a process streamlined will make things more efficient. The downside is that it might feel tedious and I do switch it up from time to time for variety

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Might feel uncomfortable but that's how you know you're improving

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There is a TON of difference for me. I HAVE to look at a physical model in front of me.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Can't get better if you always do the same things

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

This is what my brain does.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I wonder- could drawing yourself in a mirror be a decent substitute?

If youre lucky you might also be able to ask an SO or roommate to model for you. Should probably pay them back by cooking for them or something though

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Brain: sees a real model in front of me Brain: translates 3D to 2D, result: drawing Brain: sees a photo/video of a model Brain: SHIT. That's supposed to be 3D, isn't it? Brain: Translates 2D to 3D (basically re-constructing it in my head, or attempting to re-construct) so that it can translate it back to 2D Brain: BSOD

There's some online resources out there that have "3D" photos... you know, two near-identical images side by side, so if you look at it cross-eyed, it becomes 3D?

But I can't do those because I get a headache X'D

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Just thinking about drawing from that makes me dizzy

eli [a winged tale]

Oh interesting!

Yeah maybe looking out the window to draw people would be the way to go...

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But maybe figure drawing in VR exists?

eli [a winged tale]

Balcony figure drawings

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I live on the top floor so those are going to be some very small figures

eli [a winged tale]

For ants

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Once this coronavirus thing is over, there's lots of ways you can do gesture drawings from just random people -- bus stops, cafes, museums (I have not done this, but people who have done this report this is really good because others assume you're drawing the artworks. XD)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've done this a lot

Sometimes I've even shown people drawing of themselves if they've turned out particularly nice

They've always taken it well

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I like drawing my professors because they use hand gestures a lot when they talk

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Airport was REALLY good for finding people stuck in one pose indefinitely

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

they alwayas laugh when I show them

eli [a winged tale]

Shadow omg I do that too

Draws classmates

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

yeah the only issue i have with drawing classmates

is that they're always doing the "i'm using my phone" pose

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Become the master of drawing people on their phones

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Maybe try drawing children on the playground?

This works better if you're a woman

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oh thank jesus

I also like going to the zoo or the museum

or the aquarium if i'm feeling adventurous

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I am a University student so I also have some pretty interestng drawings of people asleep in weird poses

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I really need to start going to weekly figure drawing sessions once this is over (there's one here... 20 min drive... 8AM Saturdays )

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

ditto or just go to the park and draw

and @Eightfish (Puppeteer) I've had some.....weird poses from all my profs

one guy was incredibly hard to draw; he was VERY enthusiastic about showing us knife skills

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The parks here are too spacious, to a degree where it's weird to get close enough to people

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Bring binoculars

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Don't worry ma'am I'm an artist

nothing sketchy

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

(except my sketch)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

A+ pun right there

another place to go for figure drawing

theaters

like.....opera/plays

I once tried drawing the men dancing in the Newsies musical

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Tried that once, but it took me out of the performance

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

same i was dazzled by dancing men

aaaaand then i abandoned sketching at all when they started throwing newspaper strips into the audience

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But they were giving you free paper!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

THEY WERE

i'll take what i can get

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) While I agree that my method of drawing is "inefficient," I do not draw like a printer. There are videos of people drawing like a printer and it's not what I'm doing. I have done gesture drawing before, but it always looked incredibly abstract, and not quite like people, which is fine, but not what I'm going for. I treat gesture drawing like a warm-up exercise. It doesn't really do anything for my end result, but gets my drawing muscles stretched out.(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Gesture drawings are definitely a good warmup!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Perhaps it was an inappropriate analogy. What works for me I guess wouldn't work for everyone. I was trying to offer advice because whenever you talk about how much time you spend on art and you work life balance it's commendable but also dismaying. I hope you find something that works for you in the future

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oh god.. I sometimes work 6 hours a day. I guess thats like 30 hours a week? Crazy to think about, it's like a full job

Oooh you guys are sharing figure drawings... I swant to show some of mine

Behold

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My figure drawing usually breaks down into like, medical anatomy study. I feel like I understand body shapes better by including the muscles & bones

carcarchu

ABS the most important figure study

Deo101 [Millennium]

ah figure drawing? I love figure drawing ^^

I do like a lot but this kinda thing is most of it

anyways as for the question at hand, I do a lot of different things for my comics weekly. My millennium pages take me 2-6 hours i would say, but I also have patreon things I need to do so I'd say i spend 10-15 hours on it a week. for my other comic, I spend about 6 hours an update, and it updates every other week. but honestly, all of my free time goes to assorted comics. If i'm not working on school work or chatting with people, I'm working on things for patreon, potential merch, or other comics I want to start sometime.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oooh nice poses!!’

Deo101 [Millennium]

thanks!! I have a ton of gesture/figure drawings but these ones are my most recent that I have saved to my computer i think

10 minutes im pretty sure. very good for speeding up

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Those look really nice, good values

Deo101 [Millennium]

thanks ^^ I really hate working in charcoal honestly, it kinda always winds up hurting my body somehow, but its very quick sooooooo

kayotics

My answer for the prompt question has changed a lot since I started quarantine lmao... I used to do about 10 hours of work throughout the week on my comic page (usually after work, I have an office job) but ironically it’s gotten harder while I work from home. I’ve been struggling to find time since I don’t have a separation between work and home now, and putting the boundaries up of “I’m not always available” to coworkers is difficult.

Also on figure studies: they’re a great way to practice speed. I use the concepts of figure drawings all the time.

RebelVampire

@kayotics As someone who always works from home doing remote contract work, I have to say I think this is something a lot of people underestimate about work at home life. In that it's sometimes really difficult to establish boundaries with ppl and make them understand you aren't always available and also aren't gonna work billions of hours of overtime. So I'm sorry to hear that's affecting your comic work.

Shadowmark Productions

I work anywhere from 6-8 hours a day on comic stuff. That’s an average though. Sometimes I slack and need to pull all nighters to make up for it. Yes, I am terrible at time management. They say entrepreneurs are the only people willing to work 80 hours a week for themselves so they do not have to work 40 hours a week for someone else. I guess webcomic creators are the only people willing to work 80+ hours a week so that they can... go to work for someone else afterwards

AntiBunny

4 days of procrastinating, 1 of procrastinating and hating myself, and 2 of actual comic drawing seems to make up my weekly comic making schedule. :p

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I can only imagine how stressed I would be if I forced myself to update weekly

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

This is a hard question to answer because it varies a lot depending on my energy levels. Ideally I’d spend several hours a day on comics, but realistically I draw as much as possible when I have the energy (5+ hours a day for as many days in a row as I can handle it) and then go weeks or months too tired to do comics. On average, barring any long periods of exhaustion or other interruptions from RL, I spend about 20+ hours a week making pages for my comics.

sagaholmgaard

I prefer to work on my comic for about an hour ever morning and maybe 2-3 hours in the evening, that's the ideal routine for me. Right now I sadly have a lot of schoolwork to do (writing my thesis) so i might get less than 30 minutes in the morning and then feel rlly tired in the evening so I dont get as much time then either. but oh well!

I can still work for 4-5 hours on the weekends so I manage ^^(edited)

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

The whole stay-indoors order's currently completely wrecked my pattern, but before that I did between 3-4 hours a day.

Shadowmark Productions

Can’t imagine the stress of a daily or even weekly posting schedule. Hats off.

[beckzorz]

Out of Nowhere (4/21)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OFC Summary: An offhand comment at work draws Jesse Kaplan into the orbit of Bucky Barnes. Bucky’s excited at the prospect of normalcy, but there’s nothing normal about falling in love with the Winter Soldier. Words: 3016 A/N: The song for this chapter is “Brooklyn Boogie” by Louis Prima from Jumpin’ With The Big Swing Bands. We’ve got more interaction upcoming, prepare yourself... It might even be less awkward than before XD Hope you enjoy!

PART 4: “BROOKLYN BOOGIE”

    Today, 2:08 PM

itsadrian: guess what jesse.kaplan: What? itsadrian: i googled bucky barnes again jesse.kaplan: … no itsadrian: yes itsadrian: i couldn’t help myself lol itsadrian: i was surprised jesse.kaplan: I don’t want to know!!! jesse.kaplan: I’m serious!! itsadrian: ok ok! my lips are sealed itsadrian: … are you planning on seeing him again? jesse.kaplan: asdfhuihtlsbt jesse.kaplan: I have WORK TO DO itsadrian: lol ok ok

—

Adrian was from the internet. Jesse had never met her in person, but Adrian was the person she talked to most. Barely a day went by when they didn’t share some anecdote from their day, though it was rarely anything particularly groundbreaking. Meeting the Winter Soldier was probably the most interesting thing that had ever happened to either of them—Adrian was a receptionist for a contracting firm, and she had ample free time to message. Jesse worked quickly enough to sneak in a few chats during the day, and the timing usually worked out despite the hour difference.

Jesse hadn’t spoken of her encounters with Barnes with anyone else, and dealing with Adrian’s questions had been harrowing enough. Now wasn’t the time to be distracted—another project was coming up, and they needed flyers edited and printed, and…

And Jesse was only just focused enough to carry out the mundane edits, the mundane printing, the mundane going and gathering and envelope-stuffing.

It was really rather remarkable how much effort it took not to think about something. At the printer, she tried not to think about how she’d heard of Barnes’ first visit to Marilyn just here, juggling papers just as now. At her desk, it was about all the times he’d called her smart. On her way home, when she itched to pull out her phone to talk to someone, anyone about it, there was his terrible texting. She’d thought a guy who grew up in the typewriter era would use full words, but he’d adjusted to that aspect of modernity perfectly well.

Jesse sighed and stuffed her hands between her knees. What was the matter with her? No one warranted this much sustained thought, not even a superhero. If anything, that made it worse. Sure, she’d sighed over a famous person now and again, but she’d never actually met any of them. It was almost a given that they’d be a disappointment after any errant daydreams of perfect, charming strangers swooping in and… well. And.

Of course, Bucky Barnes was far from perfect. Awkward, uncomfortable, sometimes downright unsettling. The memory of that coldness that crept over him every so often made her shiver even in the heat of the subway. It was almost enough to make her forget his brief bursts of warmth.

But not quite.

Jesse clutched her purse to her side as she hurried up the stairs to street level, five blocks east, and up two flights of stairs to her apartment. She slipped out of her flats and leaned heavily against the door. Fran wasn’t home yet—he went to the gym after work most days—so she had the place to herself for at least another half-hour.

Plenty of time for a cold shower.

–

    XXX-XXX-XXXX     Today, 6:42 PM

XXX-XXX-XXXX: i have an idea XXX-XXX-XXXX: u free sat?

–

Jesse nearly dropped her towel when she checked her phone. She brushed her wet hair back to keep it from dripping on her screen and hastily responded in the affirmative. Then she flopped onto her bed, hair slick against her neck and heart racing.

So much for that cold shower.

–

Saturday was beautiful. Blue sky, fluffy clouds, not so much sun exposure that Jesse had to worry about sunburns or, god forbid, a tan. Bucky had suggested a cafe in Brooklyn Heights; Jesse had googled it yesterday, and it looked reasonable enough. Less than an hour to get there. She had no idea where Barnes lived—and she doubted he knew where she did either—but Brooklyn Heights was where Steve Rogers had grown up. It was Bucky Barnes’ home turf too, whether or not he lived there still.

Jesse got a small table along the wall and sat facing the room. Sitting with her back to a room always raised her hackles, and in this case, well, she was waiting for someone. She tapped her foot, anxious, not at all in time to the quiet music piped in from the ceiling. According to her phone, she was still a few minutes early.

The muted television was playing local news. How could a string of overnight break-ins be unconfirmed? Did they know what unconfirmed meant? Jesse ignored the television and checked her phone, then studied the other customers. The people sitting alone were all either using their phones or reading books. Some were probably doing both. Jesse studied the various groups—a couple here, a trio of laughing high schoolers there. Some senior citizens, some yoga moms.

Did she look alright? She tucked the stray hairs at her temples behind her ears for the hundredth time. She couldn’t do anything more, but that didn’t stop her worrying the inside of her lip. Well, she could adjust her posture. She sat up as straight as she could, then deflated. She didn’t want to look like a board.

The chime of the door was a relief, if only to distract her from her own busy mind. But behind the initial clump of college boys was Bucky Barnes, a cap low on his head and his arms stiff at his sides. His discomfort was palpable, and Jesse winced at his expression. He looked as uncomfortable as he’d first been on Thursday, before he’d relaxed into their first dance. He’d never really recovered—she considered their brief conversation in the hospital elevator the most relaxed he’d been with her yet—but he had calmed down.

She hoped he’d calm down here, too. She didn’t think she could handle the secondhand stress on top of actually listening to whatever he had to say.

Bucky spotted her and made a beeline for her table. She stood up hastily and smiled.

“Hey,” she said.

He hummed in response, sliding neatly into the chair across from her. Jesse sat back down. Apparently they hadn’t reached hugging status. Oh well.

She tucked her phone into her back pocket. “How are you?”

“Fine,” he said. “You?” He wasn’t looking at her. Not directly, at least.

Jesse got the feeling he was sussing out the room. She glanced around again, curiosity rekindled. Trying to see through his eyes was an exercise in creativity. “I’m fine,” she said, attention elsewhere. “Did you want to get something to drink?”

He paused, frowned.

“I can get it, if you want,” she offered, pity overcoming her spending budget.

“No,” he said. He stood abruptly, his chair scraping against the floor. “I can take care of myself.”

“Well, duh,” Jesse said, amusement tinging her annoyance into something bearable. “You don’t always have to, though. Waiting in line is boring.”

“So we can wait together.”

At that, Jesse smiled. “Good call.”

The line was short, and Bucky went unidentified—or at least, unapproached—as they put in their drink orders. He gave his name as James, not Bucky, which gave Jesse pause. Should she call him that, here in public? It didn’t seem necessary. She’d never even spoken his name aloud. Not that she could remember, anyway. She thought of him unnervingly often, sure, but they were worlds apart. Calling him Bucky? Saying the name aloud?

She wasn’t sure she could say it without betraying herself.

And she sure as hell wasn’t going to try today.

“So,” she said once they were back at a table. “You said you had an idea?”

“Yeah.” Bucky gripped his Americano—his hands dwarfed the small cup—and stared at her seriously. “I have an idea for your work.”

“Cool!” Jesse said. “You should talk to Marilyn once she’s better. Or I can connect you with—”

“I want to talk to you.”

Jesse blinked, touched. Touched and confused. “Okay, well, here I am. Talk away.”

“I liked teaching those kids,” he said. “They got over… it. Me. And they learned. They liked learning.”

“That’s great.” She grinned. He’d gotten that experience partly because of her. There was no harm in feeling smug about her contribution.

“Yeah, it was.” He took a steadying breath. “I want to do it again.”

“Ah?” Jesse blinked. That was good to hear, but why wasn’t he talking to Marilyn again? This all was her department, not Jesse’s. Jesse didn’t have a department.

“Could we do something like that with dancing?”

“Sure! There are loads of great teachers around. It’d be easy to find someone.”

“I already did,” Bucky said. His lips twitched now. He was amused by… her?

“Oh,” she said. Her cheeks flamed. “You meant actual we.”

“Yeah.”

Jesse scrambled to put together a coherent response. Her heart sang—Bucky wanted to do something with her!—but her brain screamed in terror. How could he think this was a good idea?! “I’ve never taught before. I wouldn’t know how to explain what I’m doing!”

“You’re smart, I bet you could figure it out.”

Did he always dismantle concerns so easily? She didn’t feel particularly smart at the moment. “I don’t like crowds,” she tried.

He rolled his eyes. “I managed.”

She cradled her iced mocha, staring down through the plastic lid at the milkiness below. Bucky had managed everything life had thrown at him. Almost dying, losing a limb, brainwashing, cryofreeze, more brainwashing, living as a fugitive… As uncomfortable as he behaved in aimless crowds, they were surely nothing next to all the horrors he’d had to deal with. And while he wasn’t at ease, he didn’t shy away from invitations. At least, not from her.

Jesse, meanwhile, had managed by avoiding all the things she feared and disliked. Unstructured crowds, leadership positions, deeply committed romance… She was fine, she was doing fine, but putting herself in the spotlight was high on her list of things to avoid.

She’d never been brave. She’d been smart. She’d been so smart that she’d never really learned how to screw up, and up to now she’d been too afraid to try.

Jesse snuck a glance at Bucky. He was staring at her over the rim of his cup as he drank. Was he daring her to say yes? Or just waiting for an answer?

What would happen if she said no? Disappointment, no doubt. Disgust, maybe. He might be so disappointed he’d leave her alone. That wouldn’t be so bad, would it? Maybe then she could get over her fixation and keep all that mental energy for her real life.

What would happen if she said yes?

BCEI would have to find a school willing to implement their program, and she and Bucky would have to lesson plan together. They would have to practice basic moves together, and then teach them to a crowd of adolescents. The prospect was frightening, but the possibility of working with him, dancing with him, spending time with him—

“I can talk to my boss on Monday,” she found herself saying.

A real smile lit up his face. It was the first time she’d ever seen him so genuinely pleased, and she couldn’t help but smile back. Gosh, his eyes really were that blue. The longer she looked at him, the less she wanted to look away.

“Great,” Bucky said. He knocked on the table with his prosthetic knuckles and lifted his cup towards her. “To something normal. For a change.”

Jesse giggled, delighted by his unusual candidness. “Amen to that!” She tapped her plastic cup against his ceramic mug and drank the last of her mocha.

If Bucky got a kick out of normalcy, well, he’d be thrilled with her. She smiled, teeth still holding onto her straw. She usually hated being called normal, but you know what? From Bucky Barnes, supersoldier, she’d take it.

–

A popular dance band from New Orleans was in town for a special dance event that night in Manhattan. Jesse hadn’t bothered mentioning it to Bucky, figuring she’d do better not to abuse his patience. She’d hopefully see him soon anyway, and this way she could wear one of her 40s dresses without feeling awkward about it. She pinned the front of her hair into swooping rolls and curled the rest into neat waves, then shimmied into her teal dress. She loved wearing it, and she was glad for the excuse. The nipped waist emphasized her figure, and the color made her skin glow; she felt like a vixen, or at least something approaching beautiful. Jesse tramped off to the subway with her oversized purse later than planned but grinning.

Today was a good day.

Once she arrived and paid, she found a corner to change her shoes and immediately spotted a dance friend on the sidelines. They wormed their way into a slot in the crowd, and Jesse’s spirit soared as she danced. Let other people talk up yoga and meditation; this was unfiltered joy right here.

After her first dance, Jesse made a beeline for Mike, who’d been dancing near her.

“Wanna dance?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Mike said, though his smile was dimmer than usual.

They started the new song, which was slow enough to allow for some conversation.

“Your friend is here,” Mike said.

Jesse blinked up at him, confused. “Who?”

“You know.” Mike jerked her head to the left, towards the back edge of the room. Jesse followed his gaze. Her heart skipped a beat.

Bucky was here!

Wait, did Mike think they were friends?

Were they friends? Jesse considered the possibility, but no. They knew too little of each other. They’d never spent time together socially, apart from the Stark Benefit. And their coffee this morning didn’t count. That was for work, not the pleasure of each other’s company. They’d danced together, sure, but a few dances, however memorable, were no basis for a friendship.

Well, if they weren’t friends, they were friendly. She didn’t bother correcting Mike. She’d rather dance than argue semantics. Besides, Bucky probably wouldn’t appreciate being spoken about. Did supersoldiers have super hearing? Jesse glanced in Bucky’s direction, but the crowd had shifted and she couldn’t make him out. Whether he did or not, she’d rather keep quiet. Her relationship with Bucky, whatever it was, wasn’t Mike’s business. And there was certainly no harm in keeping her secret pleasure at his assumption to herself. If someone from a distance fancied they were friends, maybe one day it would be possible.

The dance with Mike was as invigorating as usual. When the dance turned her in the right direction, Jesse couldn’t help looking across the room in the off-chance she’d be able to make out Bucky in the crowd. She turned back to face Mike after one search and found him studying her with a frown.

“What’s up?” she asked.

Mike shook his head and averted his gaze. “Nothing.” He drew her in for a spin. “Just thinking.”

“Happens to the best of us.” Jesse didn’t expect a response to her snark, but Mike surprised her.

“Is he worth the stress?”

“Huh?”

Mike was making zero sense tonight. Jesse stared up at him, but from closed position she couldn’t see past his chin.

“Him. You know. Bad stuff happens around people like that.”

Understanding dawned at last. Mike was worried about her.

“Nothing’s happened so far, just some dancing,” Jesse told him. “I think that’s pretty normal.”

“It’s not normal for someone like that to come dancing,” Mike said darkly.

“Well, maybe it should be,” Jesse retorted. “Why shouldn’t he have some fun for a change?”

Mike sighed. “Sorry, sorry. Just—sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jesse said automatically. The song ended there, and Mike stepped back from her quickly. He didn’t meet her eye. “It’s okay, Mike. I appreciate the concern, but it’s fine. Really.”

Mike smiled absently. “Here’s hoping.” He clapped her on the shoulder and strode away.

Jesse’s stomach twisted unpleasantly and her blood pounded in her ears. She abandoned the dance floor, too disturbed by Mike’s insinuations to seek Bucky out just yet.

What right did Mike have to say Bucky shouldn’t go dancing? After all Bucky had been through, he deserved as many chances at a good time as the rest of them. More so, even. Jesse hadn’t fought in the army, American or otherwise. She hadn’t helped dismantle any evil organizations either. Bucky had earned his good time, thank you very much.

Jesse pulled her water bottle out of her purse and drank, still facing away from the crowd. She knew how to avoid being asked to dance. Right now, she had no desire to force a smile. She wished she could go back, get Mike, and tell him how wrong he was, how unjust!

But confrontation was so not her style that the very thought deflated her. Her shoulders slumped. She collapsed into one of the chairs along the side of the room, holding her water bottle between her knees. Mike was allowed to express his concerns, and they weren’t entirely invalid. Crazy shit did happen around people like Bucky. The alien invasion had started at Avengers Tower. Sokovia, the bombing at the Accords… Mike wasn’t wrong.

But apart from the Stark benefit, all the places she’d met Bucky were off the usual radar for strange events. A coffee shop, dance halls, a hospital. Everyday normal places. If everyday normal places were suspect now, what even was the point? Life had to go on.

Someone sat next to her, and Jesse glanced over. Bucky tilted his head in her direction. His hair was tucked behind his ear, and his dress shirt sleeves were rolled up over a long-sleeved undershirt, hiding his arms. Though he wasn’t smiling, he wasn’t uncomfortable. He held out his metal hand to her without a word.

Jesse looked up at his face. Bucky was looking out at the crowd with little of the reservation he’d worn on Thursday. Somehow, he’d gotten over his discomfort.

She took his hand and let him lead her onto the floor.

Life had to go on.

For all of them.

[the-lupine-sojourner]

Not That Kind of Alpha Request 1 [Alpha!Kirishima/Timid!Asexual!Omega!Reader]

Thank you so much, @grace-of-hearts!!! This was such a cute request! I really enjoyed writing it and hope you like it! 

I chose the amusement park because there’s only so much one can do at the zoo and I’d have run out of animals eventually! XD Sorry, but I hope amusement park is okay! 

Anyway, hope you all like, too, and please send in requests you all have! I have run out of ideas and would love to do some requests in this universe! 

Edit: Somehow forgot to add in the links for the other parts to this like i meant to. Whoops!

Part 1: Link!

Part 2: Link! 

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

(I guess this is when they stop to eat lunch?? IDK, I just thought it was cute! XD)

“Babe, you ready?” Eijiro asks from inside the bedroom. I grin and chuckle while french-braiding my hair facing the bathroom mirror.

I was admittedly a little nervous about this, but I also knew it was something Kiri had been looking forward to; a day for just us, doing whatever we want at an amusement park all day. I then take a breath, looping the hair tie securely around the end of the braid, eying my Bond Mark like I had too many times since that night. I blush, as always, at the memory, fingers ghosting over my lips. They way he’d kissed me...it was so sincere, so passionate...I loved it! He’d rarely gotten that emotional since then, but he made it a point to pour passion and love in every kiss, some of which were on the Bond Mark while hugging me from behind. That never failed to make me flustered and red-faced.

The Bonding was a month ago, but it felt like yesterday and a lifetime ago, all at once. I then shake myself and pivot. “Yup! Coming!” I call back, scurrying out to the bedroom and grabbing my purse. It was April, so there was still a slight chill in the air. As such, I had a thin grey varsity jacket on on top of a rose-patterned peasant blouse with a pair of nice jeans that weren’t skinny on me, but weren’t super loose. I also had combat boots on with red socks peeking out and a rose-pendant choker. Kiri blushes. I’d just gotten out of the shower and he hadn’t seen my outfit.

“Holy- -you look...you look stunning.” He murmurs breathily. He had a black wife-beater under a neon tiger-stripe hawaiian-style shirt with army green cargo pants and- -

“Are you really wearing crocs?!” I tease, smirking. “With socks?” He scratches the back of his neck.

“We’ll be walking around a lot. I just figured these are best.” I nod.

“As long as you have a reason, I guess.” I reply, smiling and melting against his gentle hug and kissing him back as he eased his lips over mine. He was never rough unless he just had to kiss me because I looked ‘too damn pretty not to kiss’ or ‘I just love you so much’. It was adorable and really sweet and I smile into the kiss. “Are we gonna go or not?” I mock-grumble, leaning away. He chuckles and reluctantly lets me go.

“Alright, alright. Let’s go.” He says. We hold hands and walk out to the car together.

=#=#=#=#=

“I don’t know...it looks...um...it looks really rickety and…” I stammer and shake, clinging to Eijiro’s arm. “I, uh…” It was the first roller coaster we wanted to go on. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on it. Eijiro pats my arm and kisses my temple.

“Then we won’t go on it.” I look at him sheepishly.

“Sorry. It’s just nerves. I’ll get over it.” I mumble.

“No, you’re not comfortable. We don’t have to go on a roller coaster as our first ride. We have all day.” He says softly, smiling. “Really, if you don’t want to go on this ride, we don’t have to.” I shake my head.

“I need to try to get over my skittishness. It’s just...I need to get through this.” I reply resolutely. Eijiro smiles proudly at me.

“If you’re sure. There’s nothing wrong with picking a different ride.” I chuckle.

“I’d rather not ride the carousel all day.” I confess nervously. Eijiro laughs.

“Okay. Like I said, we don’t have to ride every ride. We can take it slow if you want.” I nod.

“Thanks for being patient with me.” He nuzzles my neck, right over the Bond Mark. I blush and kiss his temple.

“Of course.” He says when he draws away. Together, we get on the ride and I try not to grip the bar too tightly. It was a tense few seconds as the workers made sure the riders were secured properly and then we were off. It was a series of terrifyingly fast turns and hills followed by a corkscrew and then a loop and when it was over, I am so high on adrenaline, I am laughing and twitchy as we get out of the car. Eijiro takes my hand again and we stumble down the exit path, giddy. He kisses me. “How was that?” He asks. I grin.

“It might be the adrenaline talking, but it wasn’t that bad!” I reply, giggling. Eijiro laughs.

“Okay!” We walk around til we aren’t jittery and then get in line for a swing ride that nearly goes upside down. I wasn’t as nervous for this one and it was actually kinda fun, all things considered, though I grabbed Kiri’s hand and was screaming the entire time.

After that, we went to an arcade and spent an hour burning through about twenty dollars each, coming away with hardly any prizes except a stuffed shark that I somehow grabbed in a claw game for Kiri and I had a traditional teddy bear Eijiro had been determined to win enough tickets for in a shooter game. “I’m your teddy bear!” He’d proclaimed, “And this way you have something to remind you of me when I’m not around.” I blush scarlet and kiss him. He was too sweet sometimes. We then went on a drop tower which took Eijiro basically talking me into it saying it wasn’t that intense of a drop and it would be over soon. He obviously said I didn’t have to go on it, but I wanted to try just about any ride he wanted to go on. It was terrifying and I felt high on adrenaline again when it’s over. So far, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. This was a lot of fun, actually!

As the day went on, I got progressively less timid and tried different rides I might not have otherwise. And it was all thanks to Eijiro’s patient, encouraging presence. He never pressured me too much to do things if I showed signs of wanting to back out. By the time the sun began to set, I pointed to the ferris wheel. I wanted to save it for the last ride and make it a cliche romantic moment.

This was our 6-month anniversary, after all. I wanted to end it on a high note. “Hey, Eiji. What about making that our last ride?” I suggest and am treated to Eijiro’s loving heart-eyes and a deep kiss.

“Hell yeah, babe! Let’s go it!” I giggle and let him all but yank me into line. He was positively bouncing in excitement. “The sun’s setting, too!” He chirps.

“I know.” I reply. “That’s why I wanted it to be our last ride of the day.” There were times Eijiro needed a little patience on my end, but that was why we worked so well together. We knew how the other ticked and could handle them in a healthy, productive way.

We walk into the car and sit down, Eijiro adjusting me so I was half in his lap and facing the sunset. I sigh contentedly.

“Are you having fun?” He asks. I nod, the pleasant atmosphere and Eijiro’s scent filling me up and making me slowly grow tired from all the excitement of a day of roller coasters and arcade games.

“Oh, yeah.” The ferris wheel moves slowly at first, stopping to let more people on, then begins going non stop and we finally get to take the proper time to enjoy the sunset. Eijiro suddenly turns me gently to him and kisses me soundly. So soundly, in fact, I don’t see or hear him raising his phone and snapping a picture just as we reached the top of the wheel. “...Wow…” I breathe when we break apart.

“I love you so much.” He murmurs, resting his forehead against mine. I smile, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him.

“I love you, too, Eijiro.” We cuddle and enjoy the ride, kissing lazily every once in a while.

It had been a perfect day and I wouldn’t change a thing. Every day, I am blessed to be with an Alpha like Eijiro. And he loved being with me, somehow. He runs content hands through my hair as the ride slowly starts and stops to let other people off. He then sits up, clearing his throat and turning to me. “Hey, Y/N?” I nod.

“Yeah, Eijiro?” I reply, wondering why he was so nervous and blushing all of a sudden. He licks his lips, fingers twitching in his pocket before he takes my left hand and holds something up. I blush and stammer for words. Was that…

“Wi-will...will you marry me, Y/N F/N?” He holds the ring up for me to see as the seconds tick by. Was he...was he proposing?!

“Eijiro...I...o-of course! I didn’t think...I thought you’d...but yes, I’ll marry you! Of course!”

Bonus: The Ring, Pictured Below.

[cinnab3an]

Get to know me some more

This time tagged by @goodnightmoonvale

1. Nicknames: my name doesnt lend to nicknames well (teigan) so the only one I have directly based off my name is teigangerine, and that's technically not a nickname since it doesnt shorten my name??? Idk. The folks at my job call me red so that's what I usually go by

2. Zodiac: scorpio. The primary scorpio fact I know is that they are supposed to be Super Horny And Sexy and that's not me in the slightest, no, but supposedly also passionate and fierce too which is also not me. Yesterday I looked at a horoscope piece and the drawing of the scorpion hurt every piece of my soul. Listen, i was premature and i i wasn't even supposed to be a scorpio

3. Hogwarts house: I've "tested" into ravenclaw and hufflepuff. I think I lean more toward hufflepuff but I'm also not that into harry potter so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what do I know

4. Height: Its been at least over a year since the last time I was measure but probably 5'4" and a half , or a quarter

5. The last thing I googled:

6. Favorite musicians: usually I dont like more than 1 or 2 songs by a person or band, so I'll say if I like more than 8 songs by someone then they have favorite status. That would be: flogging molly, radical face, Keaton Henson, and steam powered giraffe

7. Song stuck in my head: silhouettes/ by sleeping at last. Idk I havent even heard it in a few days but for some reason I just cant stop thinking about it

8. Followers: 160

9. Following: 318

10. Do you get asks: I used to, but that's mostly because I staunchly refused to speak to my friends through messaging and so we all communicated by sending asks xD. Every now and then I get some, but not like I used to

11. Amount of sleep: recently I've been getting about 5 or 6 hours a night but that might be because I moved out of the dorm bed and into a king bed? The last few months at school I would get around 3 or less because my body hated me. I also nap a bit around the house so that adds another hour or two

12. Lucky number: I dont have one. I usually pick 11 or 19 because of my birthday but I'm not emotionally attached to any numbers

13. What're you wearing: a truly ridiculously fluffy white sweater, my oldest pair of leggings, and two bracelets that my friends made me

14. Dream job: short answer, explorer. If I had to think of everything I would love to do and find the common factor, it would be exploring. I want to go on adventures and see new things and just be surrounded by the environment. Too bad the majority of the world is already discovered and I have an incredible fear of the ocean :))))

15. Instruments: I used to play the viola in elementary school. I have a violin now and I'm learning how to play the harmonica and the guitar. As a kid I wouldve died to learn how to play the harp (and I still would, probably)

16. Languages: english is my native language and I'm only barely fluent in it. Talk to me for more than a few minutes and you're gonna know it. I've been learning Italian for around 6 years and I just took a course on irish Gaelic so I know a bit of that.

17. Favorite song: if I ever leave this world alive / by flogging molly. I'm emotionally compromised by that song in THE BEST WAY. Other close faves: along the road (radical face), 3 rounds and a sound (blind pilot) and waterbound (dirk powell)

18. Random fact about me: I had a total obsession with squirrels in elementary school. Meaning, I'd chase them down whenever I saw them on the playground, to the point where other students would pretend to see one just to set me off and see what I'd do. This led to the shocking moment in fifth grade when, to everybody's surpise, I ended up being faster than a squirrel and managed to catch it. And then the whole school swarmed me and half the kids thought I was the coolest thing in the world and half the teachers though I was gonna get everybody killed. And for the next year and a half, my nickname at school was "rabies girl"

19. Aesthetic: i like flower crowns and flowing dresses and glitter. My neighbors once said I dressed like a fairy, which was pretty cool. I enjoy all colors and color combinations (except green) but my most common patterns are all colorful and bright or all black. The ideal look for me is a chaotic mess that shouldn't work but somehow does

20. Dream trip: I want to say italy, because that's what I always say when people ask me where I want to go, but my DREAM trip, which doesnt have to be a realistic trip, would be out to space to visit all the planets and their moons. In the same logic that would make this dream possible, I would delete all time needed to travel between locations, and I would also make it so that any surface I touched down on would be safe for me and the people I bring with me (no crazy temperatures, no deadly gases, etc). I just think that would be really neat. As a kid I used to dream about floating up to the stars and putting one in a jar, so maybe I'll bend logic one more time and find a star small enough to do that.

--

Okay this one was a lot of fun :D tagging: @taegiyes @itsdragonstar @feral-renaissance-cat @totalnerdway @becauseflour @princesucculent @danish0212

[tasharii]

Your Colors: Chapter 13

A/N: I love that it's almost like I'm righting this in 'real time' right now. Since this story is set in 2018. I'm sure it won't stay this way for long. But it's kind of fun thinking about it now. Thank you for all your support and comments. They really keep me going through all the annoying editing so please keep them up. Even if it's just a squeal or one kind word XD they all help haha

Summary:  Art was the one good thing between college, work, and the grey minutes in-between. Sometimes, it felt like she wasn’t alive at all. Just drifting. When she joined her new art class, she never expected to start experiencing everything in an entirely new light. All thanks to him. Or: Where Bucky Barnes gets more than he bargained from his new drawing partner.

Pairing: Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 8K

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language, fluff, some heavy kissing

Masterlist

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3 Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6 Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10 Chapter 11  Chapter 12  Chapter 13  Chapter 14  Chapter 15

****

The snow caught in his dark hair like little teardrop pearls. Then swept away with a twirl in the chilling wind, causing his bangs to catch across his eyes. It was cold, and the sun had disappeared behind the skyscrapers early that day. Heavy clouds hung so low that it seemed like the tallest buildings were pillars, barely keeping them afloat. Fingers interlaced tightly with his, Y/N hugged Bucky’s arm, trying to steal as much of his body heat that she could. Smoothly, they weaved their way through the bustling crowd. Chatter filled the air, and he had to bow his head close to her in order to carry any conversation.

Unsurprisingly, the holiday market was brimming with life. Even with it being a Thursday. But it was edging towards Christmas, only 5 days away. Everyone had some last minute shopping to attend to. Despite it being dark, the walkway and vender tents glowed with light. Strings of tealights twinkled above their heads like falling stars. And the giant traditional Christmas tree soared up and up like a glittering beacon in the center of it all, near the ice rink. Laughter filled the air with dancing energy and from far away, Y/N could hear the distinct singing of jolly carolers. It was beautiful.

“I still need to find something for my mom.” Y/N mused, squeezing Bucky’s hand to make sure he heard her. Distracted, he nodded, bright eyes peering around as he took in everything with quick, efficient sweeps. He was always alert when they were out together. Probably attentive even by himself. Especially if there was a lot going on. The more time she spent with him, the more she noticed that he observed everything. In great detail. It made him an excellent artist, but she couldn’t help but wonder why he always needed to keep his guard up.

Shivering as a breeze brushed the back of her neck, she adjusted her scarf higher. It trailed down the front of her coat, long and soft, and fluttered with every step. It was cold enough that Bucky even had a black scarf tucked into his collar, and his nose and ears were chapped pink from the biting wind.

“I wanted to get something else for Becca.” He replied after being silent just a beat too long. Little by little, he guided her closer to a row of cute shops at their left, pulling subtly at her arm.

Once there, she dropped his arm to look at some books, picking a few up and reading their descriptions. Every so often they’d step away from each other to shop around, but he never seemed to be too far from her. Whenever she thought she’d lost track of him, she’d turn, and Bucky would be just a couple people away. Or sometimes right behind her. Most of the time, he was able to disappear and reappear without her even noticing.

After about a half hour, they stopped to linger by a shop with a rainbow of colors across all the makeshift tables. Handmade jewelry and trinkets reflected the shifting lights back up at them. Glass birds on white strings hung from support beams along the tent’s ceiling. Every few seconds a breeze would sweep through and they’d chime merrily. Reaching up, Y/N tapped one of the birds carefully, ringing the bell hanging from it. Then Bucky came up behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist, hugging her back against him as he looked around. Tall and broad enough to comfortably be able to see with her tucked against his chest.

Surprisingly, Y/N didn’t see anything she wanted, but Bucky pointed to something on the shelf behind the vender. It was a round glass globe that had been hung on a delicately twisted metal stand. In the center of it, there was a vivid green succulent plant. Heat wafted from inside the stall, and the older woman smiled at him, “Good eye. Handblown glass, and you’ll never find two alike. These plants are hard to kill too. Just give it a lot of sun.” She prattled on about the price and how to care for the plant and keep the small glass terrarium clean. Kissing the top of her head, Bucky released her and stepped up to the stall, so he could pay the bubbly lady.

Bored, Y/N peered around the market, tuning the woman out. Beanie falling low on her brow, she pushed it back up out of the way, fixing her hair. The shopkeeper was taking her time, and Bucky humored her. A small, charming smile made his face soft, and he replied to her questions quietly. When he caught Y/N looking, he winked at her and then focused back on the older woman. A goofy, stupid grin stretched across her lips and she looked away, hoping he couldn’t see the hearts that had definitely filled her eyes like a cartoon character.

Snowflakes drifted across the crowd. Everything had a shimmering glow to it from the light catching in the crystals. With every breath, fog swirled from her lips. She cupped her chilled fingers around her mouth and blew hot air against her knitted mittens. Across the market a little blonde girl blew bubbles into the air. Out of the way, in the barely-there space between two shops. The bubbles caught the holiday lights, shifting between jade and scarlet. Wonder radiated from the child so brightly that Y/N could see it even from where she was standing. Amused, she smiled into her hands, rubbing her palms together for friction.

After Bucky paid, the shopkeeper busied herself with carefully boxing the terrarium up, telling him to keep it upright so the succulent didn’t get hurt. It fit in a tall white box, and then she wrapped it in striped candy cane paper.

“Becca like to keep plants?” Y/N asked, stepping out of the way of a couple trying to see what else the woman had on display. Jostled over, she pressed herself close to him and Bucky protectively draped his arm around her shoulders. His attention fell to her, and she raised her eyebrows. A plump woman in a pink coat knocked into them, but she barely felt it with his body shielding her.

Lips pursed, he nodded and took the box from the woman. It was now settled in a pretty red and green bag, “Ya, her dorm room is full of plants, and her desk at Stark’s is near a window. She loves little trinkets like this.” Bucky lightly jostled the bag. Then he guided them away from the center of the market, heading towards the far end near the ice rink.

Y/N hummed, and they stopped by a few more places. After she found something for her mom and grandparents, Bucky bought her a cup of hot chocolate. Everything felt effortless and almost euphoric. She’d finished all her finals, and now had Christmas break to look forward to. Their first date was going blissfully well, and the happy holiday spirit filling up the air around her had her breathing easier.

“Wanna take a break?” Y/N asked, noticing that he was becoming steadily tenser beside her. His eyes kept flickering around the crowd and, despite the pink across his nose, he was looking pale. Tired and agitated.

Surprise made him glance down at her, and Bucky awkwardly chuckled, voice tight, “Ya, it’s just…”

“Overcrowded?” She supplied, and he nodded. Pure relief relaxed the uncomfortable expression making his jaw tight. Despite living in a very populated city, the market seemed to have brought everyone out of the woodworks. And there was a lot of activity spilling from everywhere. It was abhorrently loud, and no one respected anyone’s personal space. At all.

They rounded a corner, trailing away from the venders and admiring the decorations hanging from every tree and bush. Couples walked past them, laughing and flirting. Children ran around the snow-covered park, weaving through the glistening trees. It was easier to hear the music from here, away from the crowd. A live band was set up on the other side of the ice rink, near the base of the Christmas tree. Salt crunched under her boots, and sugar coated her tongue.

Sipping her hot drink, steam curled from her lips and the lid of the cup, “What are you and Becca doing for Christmas?” She asked, as they drifted towards an empty bench. Snow clung to her eyelashes and she sat her heavy bags gratefully down with a sigh. She’d ended up with three, plus her purse swinging low against her hip. Bucky only had the one for Becca and another with a couple books he’d gotten.

After dusting off most of the snow, Y/N sank down with a small groan. It was perfect timing. Her feet had just started to protest about all the walking. From where they were perched, they could see the ice rink. It was nearly as crowded as the market with skaters.

Bucky took a drink from his hot wine, something she’d never been able to enjoy. Bags settled next to his feet, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and tucked her into his side, “We’ll go to dad’s that morning and exchange gifts. She insists on including him, even if he never appreciates any of it.” His words were bitter, like they often were whenever he spoke of his father, “I’ll make breakfast, and stay until she decides she’s had enough. Then she’ll try to buy me dinner, but I always end up picking up the check.” He smirked, and Y/N snorted a small laugh, shaking her head. His eyes trailed across her features, like he was studying her, and his thumb brushed up and down her arm. When he looked at her like that, her heart forgot how to beat right.

A group of carolers swung past, and she grinned as their voices floated up into the sky, pretty. Very pretty. A little boy carried a bucket for donations and enthusiastically rung a golden bell as they went. When they reached them, Y/N dug through her wallet and handed over a few spare ones. Bucky offered out a five and the group smiled at them appreciatively but didn’t miss a beat in their rendition of All I Want for Christmas Is You.

They lingered longer than they would have before, and one of the older gentlemen winked at her. Their song became just for them, and Y/N sank deeper into Bucky’s hold, embarrassed. He just hugged her tighter. The embarrassment only grew as the verses started to strike true in her heart. Cause if she was being honest, she’d already gotten the best Christmas present she could have. A date with Bucky Barnes.

But that was too cheesy to ever admit out loud. Especially to him.

Grinning, Bucky kissed her temple and chuckled at the expression filling her features. He started quietly singing along with them, and the carolers swayed with the music. They formed a halfmoon around their bench and the little boy even piped up, very off-key. A few people stopped to watch the show and she hid her face in Bucky’s coat. She could feel his laughter through his chest and he teasingly rocked her.

As the song wound to a close, she started clapping because they were fantastic. Even if she didn’t appreciate the looks bystanders started to give them. Or the small crowd that gathered around their little bench to watch the show. Applause filled the night around them, and she sat up straighter, smiling shyly as the carolers said their goodbyes. Along with a few good wishes and words of thanks.

As everyone cleared out, Bucky laughed and asked, “What about you? Just flying out to see your family?” Unruffled by the knowing glances and giggles from the dispersing crowd. It took her a second to remember what they’d been talking about before the impromptu show.

Y/N took a long drink of her hot chocolate and met his eyes. They twinkled in the glittering multicolored lights strung along the sidewalk. The metal bench was cold underneath her, but Bucky’s hold kept her warm. Sighing, she licked her lips free of sugar and replied, “Ya, we’ll be staying with my grandparents. Everyone will come over Christmas morning and we’ll open presents. Lots of prying questions and too much food and small talk.” She rolled her eyes, “It’s not a big town, so there’s nothing too exciting to do.”

Bucky was quiet for a minute, thoughtful. He tilted his head back and examined the lamppost to their left, wrapped up in garland, “Must be nice to have a big family like that.” He mused, not looking at her, and she felt a pang of guilt. Realizing that she was complaining about something that he would be grateful to have.

“It is,” She backtracked, squeezing her cup a bit tighter, “They get annoying, but it is nice. Just wish they weren’t so nosy.” She chuckled and gave a half-shrug, “Every year, my grandma asks me when I’m going to bring home a boy for once.” Curious, she gave her cup a small shake to see how much hot coco she had left. Just under half a cup.

Listening to her with the corner of his mouth tilted up, Bucky snorted, “Maybe next year. But I don’t know if they’ll like me much.” He kicked out a foot, knocking some snow off the top of his boot. Then brought up his other and knocked the heels together. Muddy snow and salt clung to the treads of both their shoes. Just a part of winter life. Clumps fell from his shoes and crumpled against the sidewalk.

“They’d love you.” Y/N assured a bit too hastily, and then looked away, blushing, “I’m sure you’d get along with them just fine.” She tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

With a shake of his head, Bucky took a long drink of his wine and sighed, “I dunno, Steve’s usually the golden boy. Can win over any mother.” Bucky grinned ruefully, showing his teeth, “Parents usually hate me. Think I’m a bad influence.” He laughed. His eyes lit up when he remembered something, and he sat his empty red cup aside, “Becca’s dying to meet you. Don’t be surprised if she ambushes us at some point during your break. She’s impossible when she gets curious about something.”

Excited, Y/N shook her head, “I don’t mind.” She smiled softly, “I’d love to meet her too.” Moments like this made her tingly warm all over. The way he was smiling openly with her, and full of energy. Everything felt blissful in the little bubble they had. And she found herself unwilling to share that happiness with anyone else. Despite how thrilled she was about this date, she hadn’t told anyone yet. She wanted to keep it just between them, at least for a little longer.

Bucky noticed something above his head and got a pleased, childlike grin on his face, “C’mon!” He chuckled, abruptly standing up and gathering his bags, along with a couple of her own. Leaving her with her purse and only one shopping back. He tossed their empty cups in a trashcan next to their bench and whirled back to her. Before she could ask any questions, he caught her hand and dragged her along behind him. She had to hold her beanie in place, and somehow keep her bags secure as she tried to keep up with his long legs.

Confused, Y/N glanced around, trying to figure out what he had seen. Then she heard the jingling of sleigh bells. Across the sidewalk, just a few yards away, a polished scarlet and gold carriage slowed to a stop. Impatient snowy white stallions neighed and shook their heads, ready to keep going. Even as the driver waved bye to a pair of little girls, they stomped their hooves against the cement. The children hopped down with the help of their parents and stopped to pet the horses one last time before finally scurrying off.

A gust of wind made her hair fly in her face when they stopped at the side of the carriage. Laughing, she brushed the wild strands out of the way and tucked the beanie back down to keep her ears warm. The driver smiled a crinkled grin down at them, a cup of something warm poured from a silver thermos in his hands. His eyes flickered between them, and he took a hearty drink, steam curling around his white beard, before smacking his lips with a satisfied sigh, “Long or short ride?”

Wallet in hand, Bucky fished out a few bills and offered them to the driver, “We’ll take the long ride.” Y/N didn’t even have a chance to protest. Instead, she cautiously approached one of the two horses, pure white as snow. They had bridals with golden bells keeping them hooked to the carriage. Gently, she brought up a hand and pet the horse’s neck, feeling the heat radiating from it in waves. The mane wasn’t as soft as she’d imagined. More course and damp than anything.

“You really know how to treat a lady.” The driver praised, tipping his black top hat towards her and winking. A sheepish smile tugged at her mouth, and she jerked when the horse’s tail flicked over and whipped against her thigh. He snickered at her surprise, “That means she likes you.” He teased and took the money, tucking it away.

She snorted a laugh and beamed at Bucky when he came up beside her. He laid a hand on the horse’s flank and pet across her back. The driver finished off his drink as they marveled at the beautiful animal. Sighing, he screwed his lid back on his thermos and waved his hand to the back of the carriage. Reluctant, Y/N stepped away and followed a couple steps behind Bucky.

Smoothly, he climbed in first, sitting his bags in the spacious floorboard. Then he took her colorful bag and offered his hand to her. Adjusting the strap of her purse, she placed it across her chest diagonally. Then held onto him, and gripped the edge of the carriage so she could get in. Despite there being stairs on the side, it was still high, and she used his hand for balance as she hefted herself up. There was a small black cover over the top, protecting the leather seats from the snow. And fighting off the chill for the passangers.

Clambering up, the carriage wobbled as she stepped in, and she stumbled. Bucky kept a good hold on her hand and caught her elbow, steadying her. After she sat down, the horses tugged the carriage forward with an abrupt jerk. The cold air stole her breath as glittering trees started to fly past. They headed in the direction of the candy cane archways. White and red arches glowed over the sidewalk, just tall enough for the carriage to pass under.

It really was a winter wonderland.

A cold nose pressed against her skin as he dropped a kiss onto her cheek, “Having fun yet?” His voice was intimate and low, just for her. Soft Christmas music drifted to them along the wind from a portable radio the driver kept up front. Turning her head, she met his curious blue gaze. They were so close like this. Closer than she’d ever dreamed he would ever allow her to be. She hugged his arm to her and tried to hide from the biting wind. Their breath mingled in puffs of white.

“Best date ever.” She admitted and snorted when he gave her a victorious, cheeky grin. It wasn’t even an exaggeration for his benefit. Never in her life could she remember enjoying herself this much with someone she was dating.

“Told you.” Bucky preened, squeezing her knee where he let his arm relax along their thighs. They were pressed from shoulder to thigh, not any spare space left, “I’ll always show my best girl a good time.” He flashed her a toothy smile that had the corners of his eyes crinkling. Dark strands of his hair fluttered wildly in the wind, accenting the blue in his eyes. It was getting long enough that it curled around his chin. Stubble scraped against her skin when he nuzzled her cheek.

“So, I’m your best girl?” Y/N teased, and she knew the deep pink along his cheeks wasn’t just from the cold. Bucky scoffed, pretending to be annoyed with her, and tugged her hat down over her eyes. She swatted at his metal hand and cursed at how hard it was. The impact seemed to vibrate through her bones. Darkness covered her vision as her beanie blinded her. Wiggling in her seat, she tried to free her other arm from where it was trapped against his side.

“Woah! Hey tiger, don’t hurt yourself.” Bucky chided, catching her wrist. She freed her other hand from around his arm and blindly smacked his shoulder. Then shoved her beanie crookedly out of the way, scowling at him. There was barely any real spite behind her glare, and she pressed her lips tightly together to hide her smile. When she went to whack him again, he caught her other wrist too, leaving her defenseless. Hands above her head in his gloved grip, she pouted up at him.

“Let go.” She demanded impudently and then snorted a little laugh, biting her lower lip to try and stifle it.

An odd expression crossed his features for just a second, when he glanced from her face to his hold on her wrist. The hard metal of his fingers was tight against her wrist bone, but it didn’t hurt. Then the emotion passed, and he let go of her, rubbing his hands together in his lap, as if to wipe something away. His smile faltered for only a second before he gave her an even more dazzling one, “Course you’re my best girl.” He admitted with a chuckle, “Definitely the best girl I know, not counting Becca.” He winked. And she wanted to smile, really did, but worry had made her insides cold.

Still, she gave an awkward one and laughed, “Sisters always win.” It was probably nothing. Probably just a stupid bubble of anxiety. But the thought had been bugging her for two weeks now. Since they agreed to go on this date. Ignoring her inner battle, Y/N continued, “I can live with being second best.” Red and green lights shimmered across his face and the rhythmic clopping of horse hooves danced with the whistling wind. Hesitantly, she wrapped her arm back through his right one, and leaned against him.

The carriage was passing beside a frozen creek bed. Ice filled up all the places where water had once been, and snow made it look more like a little hill than a creek. Still, the large rocks lining its sides were pretty in white and a lone snowman stood guard near one of the tiny bridges that crossed over it.

Bucky’s eyes softened, and his expression was sweet when she glanced back up at him, “You two aren’t even in the same ballpark.” He whispered, and his attention flickered to her mouth. That familiar draw had her breath catching in her throat. As his head tilted just a hair closer, she brought her right hand over and gently cupped the top of his left hand. Bucky’s entire body locked up beside her. The metal was hard through the material of their gloves and she heard the quiet hum of his plates shifting and clicking as he tensed.

Just as carefully, he withdrew his hand from under her own. Then, with only a second of hesitation, he smoothly kissed her. If she hadn’t been looking for it, she wouldn’t have even noticed. His mouth was cold, and her heart twisted, confused as to what direction to go. First, her stomach dropped into a dark pit, but then butterflies fluttered awake inside her ribs. Their lips danced together slowly, intimately. He brought his right hand up and held her neck, thumb stroking her jaw. The material of his glove was rough against her chilled skin. Lips warming to life, she hummed happily against his mouth.

Enraptured, Y/N wrapped her arms around his shoulders, wanting to be closer. Wind made his hair tickle her cheek and his teeth nipped her bottom lip. Sweet sparks twirled through her nerves. Their knees knocked together as they twisted to be closer, the buttons of his coat scraped against the zipper of her own. There were too many clothes in the way but losing any wouldn’t be the best idea.

This time, she didn’t even think about it. When Bucky pulled back to take a breath, she caught his scarf in her left hand and tugged him back in. Laughter broke from his mouth and tickled her own as he gave into her. Kissing her harder. Heated, his right hand tangled in her hair, keeping her against him, but his left hung up just above her hip. As if he’d been about to place it there but then caught himself. Instinctively, she caught his hand and drew him closer, so he’d hold her. The hardness of the metal wasn’t unpleasant against her jeans, and she didn’t mind the different way it felt compared to his flesh hand. Firmer but no less gentle. He was always heartbreakingly gentle with her.

Then he froze up again. Instantly, Bucky broke the kiss and let out a shuddering breath. He withdrew his hand, tucking it into his coat pocket. Then he leaned back in to kiss her again, but she turned her head away. His lips missed their mark and kissed her cheek. Immediately, she tried to swallow around the nervous lump forming in her throat, “Bucky,” She paused, unsure of what she even wanted to say. All her thoughts felt scattered and buzzing like honeybees in her skull. The wind felt colder when it nipped at her cheeks and heated mouth.

“Ya?” He asked, sitting back so he could look at her. Eyebrows drawn low, he licked his lips and looked like he was trying to school his expression. Smooth it out. He let his hand drop from her hair and took one of hers up, knee knocking lightly against hers, “What’s wrong?”

Eyes flickering from his, then back down to her muddy boots, she asked, “Why won’t you touch me?” That wasn’t exactly specific, but maybe he’d get the drift. The gifts scattered around their feet had snow sticking to the shiny paper, and she drew her feet back to keep from getting mud on them. An awkward silence grew between them.

Bucky frowned, then gave a weak, playful smile, and shook his head, as if she were ridiculous, “What do you mean? I’m touching you right now.” His eyes were lit with something nervous, and fragile. Smile too tight and stretched wrong. It didn’t match up with his eyes, and she tried to bite back the frustration itching in her throat.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Y/N stated quietly, and his tight smile winked out. Gone and replaced with a carefully blank mask. Upset, she sighed and let her eyes pointedly drop to where his metal hand was hidden in his pocket, “Ever since our—” She struggled to find a word for that Sunday night, circling her hand in the air like she was trying to grab the right explanation, “Our fight, you keep pulling away when I try to hold your hand.”

This time, he didn’t try to deflect or correct her. Instead, he averted his hard eyes and pursed his lips, “I don’t like it.” He stated so softly and bitterly that she almost didn’t hear him. The words were nearly stolen by the howling wind and jingling bells. His face was hard, and she could practically feel him building up his walls. Brick by brick.

“It never bothered you before.” Y/N pointed out, her fingers prickled with anxiety and she tried to keep her breathing even, “Did I do something wrong?” She used her free hand to tug at her scarf, wrapping the ends around her glove. Needing to fidget with something to try and disperse the nervous energy.

“No.” He snapped, bright eyes glaring up at her, and she winced. Then the anger crumbled into something awkward and frustrated, “No, you didn’t.” He amended, gentler, “It’s got nothing to do with you.” He sat up straighter, glowering down at a distant point on the floor. But not even seeing it. His hand grew tight around her own, nearly hurting, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she squeezed back just as hard. If he could just feel her. Maybe he’d realize how much this was hurting her.

Ducking her head, she tried to get him to look at her. She leaned closer, head near his chest as she tried to catch his eyes, “Then what…?” Her sentence trailed off, open and vulnerable as she gestured with her free hand, imploring.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” The sentence was like a door being slammed into her face. Bucky glanced down at her, eyes as serious and calm as an ocean before a storm. Bit back anger laced his words, but she wasn’t sure if it was really meant for her or himself. The emotions in his eyes had her sitting back, needing to take a breath of fresh air. To try and clear her head.

“Why?” Y/N’s voice grew quieter, crippled by hurt blossoming in her chest. It felt like a knife had opened somewhere soft inside her and was leaking slow moving poison. Her hand fell to her lap, squeezing into a fist. Just keep breathing evenly and it’d be ok. But it felt like everything she was doing was wrong.

“Because…” It was like she was trying to wring information from a rock. He wouldn’t look at her again. Wouldn’t stop biting out every single word. Bucky’s head thunked against the back of the seat, eyes squeezed shut as he let out a slow breath. The air curled white up towards the covering of the carriage. His jaw clenched, and she could just barely make out the humming of his metal arm as he grew tenser.

“Because why?” Y/N hated how she sounded like a child. Like a curious kid too young to understand whatever he was going through. But she wasn’t too young. She could understand. If he’d just give her the chance.

“I just don’t!” It wasn’t a shout, but it had every drop of strength in it like one. Even if he didn’t raise his voice. Immediately, her entire body recoiled. Like she’d been struck.

Within a second, she tugged back her hand and fell deathly quiet. Bucky gaped at her. Like he’d manage to surprise himself too. Then he covered his face with his hands and leaned forward on his knees. Y/N’s heart ached for him. Even as she scooted over until she was pressed to her side of the carriage, and they were no longer touching. Eyes turned out towards the distant buildings, she crossed her arms around herself and tried to keep her breathing steady. It wasn’t that he scared her. Not really.

But he did hurt her.

“Ok.” She murmured, and she wasn’t sure if he’d even heard her. Wasn’t sure if she cared. Wasn’t even sure how she felt about it all. Emotions clashed inside of her like twisting waves. Hurt, frustration, confusion, and even a bit of anger. He didn’t have to talk to her like that.

Bucky let out a harsh breath that had a bit of a frustrated growl in it. She ignored him. Didn’t even look at him.

They’d entered a part of the park with more trees. Spindly bare branches stretched up towards the night sky, snow clinging to every available space. Icicles hung off the tips of the wood, some long and tinted blue in the soft light. There weren’t as many decorations over here, and less people milled around. But it was still a beautiful night. It’d finally stopped snowing, and she hadn’t even noticed.

Silence stretched on for a while. Muscles coiled tight, she ground her teeth and bit her bottom lip. All her conflicting emotions had her close to tears. They hadn’t fought like this before. And she wasn’t even sure who was entirely in the wrong. Maybe she’d pushed too hard. But he shouldn’t take his anger out on her. There was no excuse for it. Especially when he clearly said she hadn’t done anything wrong.

From the corner of her eye, Y/N could see Bucky clenching and unclenching his empty fists. Elbows on his knees, he’d curled in on himself. He stared down at his hands, then peered over at her. She acted like she hadn’t noticed. This time, she wouldn’t be the one to break the quiet.

It was his turn to try. All her trying had led to him biting her head off. She was done.

Noel played over the radio and she bit the inside of her cheek. Thoughts struck out at her like angry vipers. Poisoned her with mutilating insecurities.

“Are you ok?” The question was hesitant, and weak. It didn’t even register at first. She almost laughed because the answer should have been obvious. Yet here Bucky was, asking it anyway. Still raw, she took in a harsh breath to try and steady her voice. To swallow up the tears.

Her gaze flickered to him for just a second. Took in his pinched eyebrows and guilty expression. Glaring, satisfaction sparked inside her when he flinched, then she looked away, “No.” The word was firm but quiet and tasted like acid on her tongue. She tried to count the trees as they passed and noticed that they were drawing closer to the Christmas tree. The driver was being awfully quiet up front, not even humming along with the radio anymore.

Another long minute passed, filled with the jingling of sleigh bells and drumming hooves. The tension between them was palpable and it made her skin itch. Part of her wanted to tell the driver to stop so she could get out and storm off. But that would require standing and gathering her things and trying to walk while her vision was blurry with tears.

It was too much trouble.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky finally continued, “I didn’t mean—” He huffed and sat up straighter, hands waving in the air, “I didn’t mean to snap like that.” He scrubbed at his face and then carded his fingers through his hair. And then stared at her imploringly. Like a man desperate for a lifeline because he was so terribly lost.

Slowly, Y/N met his eyes and nodded. It wasn’t ok, but she understood. She sniffed and wiped at her eyes, voice cracking from the tears she kept holding back, “We don’t have to talk about it. If you don’t want to.” She offered, even though it was the last thing she wanted. Obviously, she wanted to talk about all of it. Why he didn’t want her touching his metal hand. Why he had snapped at her. Why he was so angry and uncomfortable. But if he didn’t want to talk about it, she wouldn’t make him. It wouldn’t do any good to pressure him into it.

Bucky appeared both guilty and relieved. He nodded with her, biting his lip, “I’m just not ready.” He explained, “I think I will be. Soon. To talk about it with you. Just not yet.” He rubbed the back of his neck, staring down at his feet, “It’s kind of embarrassing, but it’s not your fault.”

Nervously, he glanced up at her, pain in his eyes. He studied her expression and relaxed minutely at what he seemed to find there. Then he slowly reached over and cupped her cheek, his thumb brushed under just under her eye. Apologies were written all over his face. When she placed her hand over his, he gently grasped her fingers. She let him hold it and he squeezed, a watery, relieved smile turned up the corner of his mouth.

“You have to tell me these things.” Y/N turned in her seat, drawing up one knee and tucking her muddy boot under her thigh. The position left some space between them and gave her room with her thoughts, without him too close to distract her, “Don’t just get mad at me, or try and hide it from me. Tell me so I can understand.” She stressed, pressing her free hand to her chest.

The guilt made him drop his head, focusing down at their hands. He plucked at the tip of her glove, tugging at the loose black material and she reached up, smoothing his damp bangs from his eyes, wet from snow. He peeked up at her, “There’s a lot of stuff I’m not ready to talk about yet.” The words were bit out and mumbled, but not angry. Only tired and reluctant and she could live with that.

“Like the war.” Y/N offered, hand tracing down his jaw. Then his neck, and back down to his hand in her own. She cupped his larger hand in both of hers, wishing it was skin against skin, but it was too cold out for that.

He nodded, eyes darting down to where they were connected. Bucky’s thumb knocked against her own, like they were having a thumb war, and she pinned his down. That made him smile just a little, “Ya and…”

“You’re arm.” She continued, studying his face even as he focused on trying to pin her thumb back down in return. His eyebrows were drawn low and pain had his lips tight. Even his shoulders drooped, like gravity pulled harder on him than anyone else.

Yet again his head bobbed in confirmation, and he sighed “And some family stuff.” Then he looked at her. The Christmas tree passed behind him, even more enormous now that they were right under it. Bucky tilted his head back and stared up, a little bit of awe relaxing his exhausted features.

Weakly, she managed a smile and joked, “That doesn’t leave much for us to talk about.” When Bucky snorted a tiny laugh, she added, “What ever will we do to pass the time?” He turned back to her and finally managed to pin down her thumb now that she was distracted.

“Make out?” Bucky cracked a full impish grin at that and she shook her head, covering her mouth to suppress a giggle. She dropped her knee so that she could sit closer to him.

“You just want to get in my pants.” Y/N accused, poking his chest and he instantly gaped at her. Free hand against his chest, he shook his head, as if baffled.

“Not true.” He scowled, offended. When she raised her eyebrows in question, he leaned forward and captured her mouth in a searing kiss. It surprised her enough that she let out a small embarrassing sound from the back of her throat. The dominating kiss of teeth and tongue had her entire body hot within the few seconds that it lasted. When he broke away with a soft sigh, she blinked, dazed, and took in the shit eating grin making his eyes twinkle.

“If I just wanted that, I’d have gotten it and been gone forever ago.” He snickered, and it was her turn to gape at him.

Mouth opening and closing like a fish, she finally settled on glaring at him. Puffing out her cheeks in a growl, she let go of his hand and took off her beanie, swatting him with it, “Ass!” She barked, unsure if she wanted to laugh or shove him out of the carriage into the snow.

Bucky squawked and held up his hands in surrender, “Hey! Hey! I said it wasn’t true!” He snatched her beanie from her and held it above her head when she tried to grab it back. Bucky leaned closer to her and the edge of her anger melted away at the sincere expression that made his eyes shine, “I’m here cause I want to be with you. For as long as you’ll put up with me.” He took in a small breath, as if deciding on something difficult, and added, “Because I like the person I am when I’m with you. You make me feel alive again.”

Heart thundering in her ears, Y/N started to say something, but nothing felt right. Every word that came to mind was too cheap. Too imperfect to describe how he made her feel. How she felt right then. Instead, she closed the distance between them and kissed him.

This was easier. Expressing how she felt with her body was effortless. And she knew he understood because he groaned quietly and leaned heavily against her. Like he wanted to meld with her. Until no one could tell them apart. Until their colors mixed up and created something unique and euphoric. This kiss wasn’t burning like the last one. It was slower, and more heartfelt. And she could taste every ounce of affection poured into it. Like sugar on her tongue.

When Bucky pulled away, he didn’t go very far. He let his forehead rest against hers and his nose was cold when it brushed her own. Warm breath fanned against her cheeks when he whispered, “I’m sorry.” The more time they spent together, the easier it seemed to get for him to say that.

“We’re ok.” Y/N replied and brushed a small peck against his mouth, enjoying the little sound it made. Enjoying that she could do that at all. Whenever she wanted.

“Good.” Bucky smiled, and she could feel it against her mouth when he kissed her again.

When their lips parted, she confessed, “This won’t be easy. We’re both pretty fucked up.”

Bucky tensed, and sat back. When she looked at him, he tilted his head, “Both of us?” He raised his eyebrows. Like he didn’t believe her. Releasing her hand, he brought up her beanie, gently tugging it back on her head. Gloved fingers brushed her cheeks as he fixed her hair and got it on straight. Instantly, her ears felt warmer.

Slowly she nodded, and it started to dawn on her that she hadn’t told him much. Not about her ex. Not about all that hurt and the darkness that she’d gone through because of it. But to be fair, he’d never asked, and his reluctance to confide in her didn’t make her comfortable enough to open up in return.

One day. She’d talk about it with him one day soon. And hopefully he would understand. Because if he didn’t, she wasn’t sure where that would leave them. Definitely nowhere good.

When he continued to eye her, expression serious as if he were seeing her in a different light, she smirked, “I’ll show you my scars if you show me yours.” She raised her eyebrows in a challenge and he scowled. Y/N cheekily tacked on, “It’s only fair.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and waved her off, “Fine, fine. Soon. I promise.” He pouted and glanced down at the floorboard before lighting up with a genuine smile, “I know we agreed to not do anything…”

Y/N eyed him suspiciously, “Ok…?”

“But I got you something.” Bucky admitted, digging into his inner coat pocket. She groaned and pressed her hands to her face. Giggles made her shoulders shake and he asked incredulously, “What?”

“Nothing! Nothing it’s just…” Y/N snorted and leaned down, digging through her purse on the ground. From inside, she pulled out a medium sized package wrapped in shinning paper with little penguins scattered on it and topped with a gaudy red bow, “I got you something too.”

Comically, Bucky’s eyes grew very round, and he held up a small red box with a tiny green bow. Then he chuckled, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of it all, “Guess promises are sometimes meant to be broken.”

Grinning, Y/N nodded, “Only for a good cause.” They had agreed to not buy presents for each other. Since their relationship was so up in the air and everything was new. Technically, they still weren’t exclusive, and they were just testing the waters. But she had gotten him something anyway. Strictly a ‘little-more-than-friends’ thing. No pressure. Just something small.

They exchanged gifts and Y/N pointed towards his, “You go first.” She ordered, and Bucky’s lip turned up into a half smile before he tore into the paper. Completely shredding it like you were supposed to open presents. The bow ended up tucked away in one of his shopping bags, along with the crumpled up paper.

“I thought it’d be easier to take with you on your trip.” Y/N offered as she watched Bucky turn the compact black kit in his hands. It was a professional, high quality art kit. Filled with pencils, charcoal, and everything else he’d need to sketch on the road. It had extra inside pockets for any supplies he might want to add, and it was roomy enough for him to fit a 9x12 personal sketchbook inside. Mostly waterproof too.

Bucky smiled up at her, a tender genuine one, “It’s perfect.” He praised. The air around them felt lighter again. The shadow of the argument fading away into the back. Up front, the driver started singing along with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.

“Open it.” She gestured, and he raised his eyebrows before doing just that. Among all the neatly slotted pencils, he found a simple, thin sketchbook. It’d come with the kit. He opened it up and smiled when he found the first page. A simple sketch of mistletoe.

“To my frustrating, annoying, imperfect muse. Merry Christmas.” He read from underneath the drawing. The stupid smile making his eyes dance let her know that he got the joke. It was close to a perfect quote of what he’d written on that drawing he’d given her nearly two months ago. Bucky cooed, “How romantic.” He laughed when she glared at him and zipped the kit back up, “Thank you sweetheart. I love it.” He placed it carefully in a bag and leaned forward, kissing her cheek, “You’re turn.” His breath was hot on her cheek compared to the crisp night air.

Excited, Y/N took a breath and slowly slipped the ribbon off the box. She slipped it into her pocket and pulled the red lid off. A small awed noise escaped her as she took in the beautiful jewelry nestled inside. Among the white fabric, a shining silver hourglass necklace stared up at her. The bottom half was filled with little sparkling beads of sand that matched the color of her birthstone. Above it sat earrings with her birthstone winking up at her, “Their beautiful.” She uttered, carefully removing the necklace.

Bucky took it from her and she turned so he could place it around her neck. It was a little awkward with her scarf, but she combed her hair out of the way. He removed his gloves and the warmth of his fingers made her shiver just as much as the cold metal of his left hand against the nap of her neck. Holding the hourglass charm, she smiled in surprise when she realized the sand spilled to the other half when she tipped it upside down.

“I thought of you when I saw it in the market today.” Bucky admitted, “Couldn’t resist.”

She turned, watching him wiggle his gloves back on, “Thank you.” Her smile felt shy and her heart wouldn’t stop fluttering. Everything inside her was melty warm like liquid sunshine despite the winter weather.

Right then, she wanted to draw them. The carriage and horses. Capture the light in his eyes and the shining lights flickering around them. Inside her head, she could picture it. Could feel the emotions that she’d pour into it.

Bucky’s answering smile made her realize that he was the most handsome man she’d ever seen, “Merry Christmas doll.” He stated, and she leaned forward. Her eyes sparked mischievously when he tilted down to meet her.

Things weren’t perfect, but relationships rarely were. No matter how much Hallmark liked to depict them that way. And that was ok. They’d make it work. Together.

Their lips just barely touched when she tilted her mouth just out of reach and listened as he let out a shuddering breath. Then she whispered, “Merry Christmas sweetheart.” And kissed his cheek.

Their gaze met, and she could see the fond laughter dancing in his eyes. Bucky scoffed, affection rumbling in his chest, “Tease.”

“Ass.”

Y/N squealed with laughter when he wrapped his arms around her and started tickling her.

Next Chapter

Tags: @boy-leave  @wtfholland  @snjms02. @diariesofthebeautyobsessed

[cyberflows-art]

Shoulder Devil

Oof! This sure took me a while! Not really because it’s long (although it kind of is, whoops!), but because I have terrible time management skills XD

I always plan what I’m going to say for this little introductions and then completely forget what I was supposed to say...

Well, this is my fic for the Joey Drew Studios AU at @ask-joeydrewstudios! I knew for quite some time that I wanted to do something for this AU because the characters are very well developed and consistent, the art is fantastic and it’s always a good time whenever I receive a notification telling me there’s a new post! I could spend a looong time telling you why I love this AU so much, but instead I’m just going to recommend checking it out! I wan’t sure whether to draw something, or write something, soooo I did both! Oh! I’m also going to put it over on AO3 and ffnet if that’s more your thing!

I really hope you like it!

Cough Don’t use or repost my drawing without my permission, please! Cough

It had been a very productive Friday in the studio. Most of the animators had managed to get ahead on their work, the voice actors had very smooth recording sessions and Joey found himself praising a lot of people when he checked on them. The ink spills where almost null, the projectors all in outstanding condition, the pipes hadn’t emitted any creaking noises or given any signs of damage. The toy department had just finished some new concepts for a limited edition line of toys that could boost their income quiet a bit. The studio was reveling in a contented mood, and the employees certainly appreciated the relaxed work environment, so different to the usual stress of having to meet an approaching deadline. But that productivity came at a price. 

A price called Sammy Lawrence.

Due to the presence of a certain prank loving toon, people who worked at Joey Drew Studios knew to have spare clothing at hand, even more so if you worked in the Music Department. But that usually meant just an extra shirt for the week. This day? Sammy had already had to change his shirt twice before lunch break. The first time was due to a bucket of ink being dumped on his head; the second because Henry just so happened to be passing through the same hallway as him with a bowl of (thankfully not boiling) soup, and Bendy just so happened to run by them and “accidentally” push Henry. The entirety of the contents of the bowl, of course, ended covering Sammy. From that point on, the positivity in the air was slain by Sammy’s irate aura and the employees instinctively stepped aside whenever he walked by. And now that he had finally been able to eat something and calm himself a little, he sat at his desk and grabbed a pen only to discover half of his stuff was coated in honey. He groaned in exasperation and cursed the substance while trying to detach the pen from his fingers.

Sammy didn’t know why the little brat suddenly decided to focus all of his attention on him, (this considering the music director was a favorite target), but he knew it needed to stop that instant. In fact, it should have stopped days ago. Since wednesday, Bendy had been making his working hours a living hell. It ranged from hiding random ingredients in his food, to messing with the lyrics in his incomplete songs, to hiding every single one his goddamn cigarettes in a different location each. The only reason he had managed to not fall behind was that he locked all of his important documents and work in the upper right drawer of his desk. He bet that the little devil would have turned them all into paper airplanes if he didn’t.

Grumbling, he stood up once again and started walking towards the nearest bathroom to wash his hands. Of course, it would be his luck that said bathroom was the one in the worst condition in the whole studio. The door, specifically, was a bother to open since there wasn’t enough space between it and the floor, making it drag noisily; not to mention the rusty hinges and knob people had tired of reminding Wally to oil. Maybe the fact that it was the bathroom closest to the music department had something to do with that. Sammy wouldn’t put it past the janitor to be petty like that. He would normally go the extra mile to go to a decent bathroom, but he had wasted enough time as it was, so he resigned himself and stepped in, careful not to close the damaged door all the way.

He got as far as rubbing the soap on his hands before the water stopped flowing from the tap. Frowning, Sammy tried opening and closing it, but quickly lost his patience and tried the other two. Nothing. Anger rapidly increasing, Sammy took a moment to count to ten, planning to calmly go to the bathroom in the floor above. But while he focused on counting, he failed to notice the rattling of the pipes in front of him. 5… 6… 7… 8… 9…  The sudden loud creaking finally caught his attention and alarms rang in his head when he saw all three sinks slightly shaking. He managed but one hasty step towards the door before the three taps were sent flying and three forceful water streams drenched him from head to toe. Sammy instinctively covered his face, desperately trying to maintain enough visibility to walk the short distance to the door. Unfortunately, with all the chaos he wasn’t able to notice the bar of soap that had landed on the floor, and thus couldn’t prevent stepping on it. He yelped when he felt himself tripping forward, barely being able to slam against the door with his shoulder rather than with his face.

A dull pain spread through his upper arm but nothing too serious. Sammy rubbed at it and stood up, his mind trying to process what had just happened. If he had had a moment to collect himself, rage and annoyance would have probably consumed him, but he heard something above the sound of the flowing water. Laughter. Really loud laughter. The door of the stall closest to the wall slowly swung open and hanging from the inside was the little devil himself. He obviously couldn’t hang there for much longer, shaking with laughter as he was, so he jumped to the only corner of the floor untouched by the water to continue from there.

“WOW, Sammy! I thought I had something great by breaking the sinks, but you made it even better with that soap bit!!!” he managed to say through his giggles. “You sure you don’t wanna be a toon? You’d make a great target for gags!”.

Sammy remained silent. He remained silent and looked at the mess around him, one of his eyes twitching. He remained silent because even if he was normally able to yell at Bendy for his pranks, he couldn’t believe the absolute stupidity of the whole situation. He remained silent because even if he would usually call the demon a little shit, he still had to remember he was a kid and at the moment he didn’t trust himself to not say something he could regret later. And the absolute least he needed that day was for Joey to visit him to berate him on his conduct. So he bit back the venom that threatened to escape from his mouth and limited himself to glaring at the demon as harshly as he could. Bendy’s laughter did wither under the look that Sammy was giving him (and the lack of an explosive reaction), but he kept a defiant attitude by crossing his arms and returning the stare with a smile. This only further irritated the music director, so he turned around to open the door, not wanting to see the smug brat’s little face anymore. He wasn’t used to repressing his anger, and since he was absolutely furious, he needed an outlet fast. Except… the doorknob wasn’t working. In fact, it felt pretty loose, probably detached from whatever internal mechanism was inside the door. He struggled with it, as if he could force it to work just by violently moving it, but he ended loosening it it to the point it came off. Sammy glared at it for a second before flinging it against the wall. He heard snorting behind him.

“What?” came Bendy’s voice. “Can’t even open a dooooor, Sammy?”

He then started blabbering about how Sammy needed to start lifting weights and eating more vitamins. Sammy sighed in frustration and turned towards Bendy to yell at him to undo whatever he did to the door so he could go tell Joey to ground the demon for the rest of eternity. He froze, however, when he saw the floor of the room. The flow of the water had considerably diminished, but it was still consistently adding more liquid to the floorboards. The growing puddle was silently creeping in Bendy’s direction, but the demon couldn’t be bothered to notice. For a split second, he toyed with the idea of just watching him notice and freak out about his crucial mistake. But a pang of guilt immediately hit him, knowing well that it would be the equivalent of letting a fire get close to a human. He was furious, but not even he was that cruel. Sighing, he sacrificed the one spot on his clothes that had been spared from the water attack to dry his hands. He crossed the distance between them, tuning out Bendy’s incessant rambling, and lift him up before the puddle could reach his shoes. Three seconds later, there wasn’t a dry spot on the floor.

“Hey!” Bendy exclaimed. “Put me down!! I don’t like bein’ carried around, ya hear me?! Let go!”

He then proceeded to poke Sammy’s head with his tail and trying to wiggle out of his hold. Sammy tightened his grip, afraid he might actually drop him and then held the demon to arms length in a way that wouldn’t allow Bendy enough movement to bite him (which he was known for).

“Okay, you little brat. You are going to look down for a single second and then I dare you to say that again to my face,” Sammy deadpanned.

“What, you think I wouldn’t?” Bendy crossed his arms. “Fine! I’ll look down and then I’ll tell you to your face to put me- Oh...”

“‘Oh’ is right.” Sammy glared at him as he stopped struggling to fall to his demise. “Now, if you could stop throwing a tantrum and fix the freaking door so we both can get the hell out of here, that would be great, wouldn’t it?”

“What?! I didn’t do anything to the door!!!”

“Oh, yeah? Then why won’t it open? Can you really not stop playing dumb even when you turned the floor into something you can’t so much as touch without melting?!” Sammy made him face the door, hoping that he would pull out a tool or something that would let them get out,

“Ugh! I told ya, I didn’t break the door! You’re the one that slammed his ugly face against it! Maybe that’s why it broke, huh?”

Bendy stuck his tounge at him and looked away with a huff.

“So what? We’re just trapped here now?!” Sammy looked at the demon incredulously. “Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted? Well, congratulations! I bet Joey will give you a trophy!”

Bendy scowled at him, but quickly looked away under Sammy’s scolding stare and resigned himself to pout in silence. This was doing nothing for Sammy’s mood. Now there was no way he wasn’t going to fall behind in his work. Besides, the water was already up to his ankles and the cold from being soaked was starting to get to him. His arms were also getting tired.

“Why am I even carrying you still?” he said more to himself. The little guy didn’t really deserved the effort after landing them in the situation they were in. He walked towards the stalls, hoping that he could set him down.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Bendy asked once he felt they were moving.

“I’m getting tired so I decided you are going to stand on one of the toilets,” he said matter of factly.

“WHAT? But… but toilets are filled with water!”

If Sammy didn’t fear he would drop him he would have smacked his own forehead with his hand.

“I’m not putting you inside the toilet, you moron! You’re gonna stand on top of the lid.”

“Ew! No way! Joey told me what goes in there and I’m NOT touching those things.” Bendy scrunched his face up in disgust and clung to Sammy’s hands, refusing to be put down. “And the water is rising so fast! What if it reached me if I was standing there? Oh no! What if it goes all the way up to the roof? What if nobody saves us?!”

Sammy rolled his eyes at the toon’s exaggeration. This wasn’t a worrying predicament, only an infuriatingly annoying one. At this point, he would even accept if Joey offered to teleport them out of there.

“Calm down, we are not going to drown,” Sammy told him. “The door isn’t fused to the floor. There’s gotta be some water leaking, and the moment somebody notices they’re going to-”

“WHAT THE HELL?”

Wally’s voice reached them right on cue. Bendy’s face lit up in an instant.

“Wally! Wally, we’re trapped! You gotta save us!” He yelled.

“Bendy? What-? How-? Oh, shoot! Are you ok? You aren’t like… half melted or something right?” Wally’s voice became a bit panicked with the possible implications of what he could find on the other side of the door. They could hear him frantically turning the useless knob.

“Thanks for the mental image, Franks…”

“Wait… Sammy?! How many people are in there?!”

“Oh no, just the two of us!” Bendy exclaimed happily, as if he hadn’t been freaking out just a few moments prior. “I’m using him as my personal island!”

“Uh, yeah, you keep doing that buddy…” Wally said. “How did this even happen?”

“Sammy broke the door!” Bendy immediately answered.

“Excuse me?! You’re the genius that thought exploding the sinks was a good idea!”

“He WHAT?” Sammy could tell by the distress in Wally’s voice that he knew who would have to deal with the mess. He would have found it amusing if his shoes weren’t completely submerged.

“Franks, my clothes are soaked and I am locked in here with a three foot tall nightmare incarnated. How about you get us out, and then you play detective?”

Sammy didn’t doubt the silence that followed was Wally trying to come up with a good comeback to not just accept an order from the music director, but in the end he had to acept this wasn’t a good time for that.

“Fine, fine,” he finally said. “You might want to step away from the door! I’ll get you out in a second!”

The door creaked when Wally pushed forcefully against it, but with no results, A groan of frustration was heard before repeated pounding against the wood, which the trapped pair could only guess was Wally either tackling the door or trying to kick it down. Bendy started cheering him on. After the fifth hit, one of the rusty screws of the upper hinge was sent flying while the other hinge got crooked and Sammy swore one of its sides got lodged into the wood frame. From that point on, nothing else even budged.

“... Maybe I won’t get you out in a second…”

“Wow, it’s almost like it’s important to do your job maintaining the building, huh?” Sammy said bitterly.

“Agh, shut up. Look, there’s an axe somewhere in the studio. Joey told me where it was, but I uh, kinda forgot where it is… I gotta go ask him.” Silence. ”Dammit. He’s not going to like this…”

“I would prefer it if you cut the water first. It’s almost up to my knees already.”

“Uh, right, right. First things first, and all that.”

“Hurry up, Wally! I don’t think Sammy has the strength to carry me for much longer!” Bendy called.

“Wha-? You little-!”

“Try not to shove Bendy into the water while I’m gone Sammy!”

Wally’s voice faded along with his hurried steps. Sammy’s shoulders sagged. Great. More waiting. He guessed he could try doing something productive. Maybe see if he could loosen the hinges. Oh wait! He couldn’t. He was carrying some dead weight. And as much as he hated to admit it, said dead weight was indeed putting a strain on his arms. He let himself lower them just a bit to get his blood circulating better, hoping that the demon wouldn’t notice. With his luck that week, of course he did.

“Uh, you did hear what Wally just told ya, right?” Bendy said glancing down and lifting his feet.

“Oh, sorry! It must be that I’m not strong enough to carry you. I could just drop you any minute now.”

Bendy pouted up at him. Sammy retaliated with a glare, but found that just looking at the demon reminded him of the terrible week he had had. He decided that he had enough of the staring contest soon after and looked around for, well, literally anything else he could do. He spotted the towel that was placed for people to dry their hands, which had miraculously been spared of the shower, and he got an idea for a solution for the tiredness of his arms. He crossed the room towards it and held Bendy in front of it.

“Grab it.”

“Huh?” Bendy gave him a confused look.

“Grab the towel.”

“What? Why?”

“I’ll let you in on a secret,” Sammy lifted Bendy up so that they were looking eye to eye. “I despise carrying you as much as you despise being carried. So you are gonna take that towel, put it on my shoulder and sit there until we get out of here.”

“Why don’t you grab the towel if it’s your idea?” Bendy’s cocky demeanor started chipping away at Sammy’s last bit of patience, and he was desperately trying to remind himself he was supposed to be the adult. “Why do I gotta do all the work here, huh? How lazy of you! Are you sure you’re fit to be the director of anything?”

“Ok, that’s ENOUGH! Why are you being such a prick?! This whole situation was YOUR fault! Least you could do is cooperate with something as easy as this!”

Bendy flinched at the louder tone of voice, but he wasn’t deterred.

“‘Why are you being such a prick?’” he imitated in a high pitched voice, using his hand to simulate a mouth. However, he did grab the towel and threw it on Sammy’s shoulder, hitting him on the face (not so accidentally) during the fact. Making sure it was placed well enough that his wet shirt wouldn’t come in contact with the little toon, Sammy let him climb on his shoulder and he finally could put his darned arms down. His relief was short lived, though. Now he had a whining demon right besides his ear.

“That’s it,” he said not even paying attention to whatever Bendy was saying. “I’m quitting the moment we get out of this stupid bathroom…”

“Yeah? Well maybe you should,” Bendy suddenly muttered with a scowl. If he hadn’t been so close, Sammy may not have heard it. “That way you wouldn’t break Boris’ stuff.”

Sammy startled so forcefully he had to quickly hold Bendy in place so he wouldn’t fall.

“Break Boris’- What are you even talking about?” he asked frowning.

“Oh, just admit it!” Bendy turned so he was sitting sideways and could look at Sammy better, He poked his face in an accusing manner. “You broke Boris’ favorite banjo! You know how long he had been practicing a new song to show Joey? Like a month! You even know how long a month is? He had even prepared a mini stage in our apartment, and I was gonna do an opening act and Alice was going to be there too!” Bendy threw his arms in the air as if he could convey the grandiosity of their planned little show by waving them around. “It was going to be great, but then you went and ruined our good time! Boris has been so bummed out since Tuesday he won’t even play with me!”

Sammy was taken aback. Not only could he already feel the headache coming from all the yelling in his ear, but he also realized a very important thing. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Is that really why you have been insufferable all week? Because you think I’m the one who did that?”

“I know you did it! Joey said you are the one responsible of all music stuff, so obviously it had to be your fault! If you are innocent, why don’t ya prove it, huh? Oh right, because you can’t! You’re guilty!”

Sammy gave a big sigh, wondering if he was about to waste his breath.

“Tuesday? You mean this tuesday? The same tuesday I had to leave early?” He narrowed his eyes at Bendy and saw the devil’s confidence falter. “You know what happens on tuesdays? There’s a weekly maintenance of all the instruments. You know what else happens on tuesdays? The imbeciles that conduct those checkups often stay and organize a mini ‘act like an idiot’ party after the oh so hard work that task represents for them, even when repeatedly told not to. So more than likely, it was one of them that broke that banjo, and more than likely, if I find out who did it and made these days hell for me because of it, I’m gonna move heaven and earth to make Joey fire them! So there! I hope you are proud, because not only did you waste my time making me clean after your little ‘revenge pranks’ for hours and then make me lose hours of sleep to catch up on work, you also wasted your own time doing something completely worthless. I don’t think you even wanted to put the effort to find out who it was. I bet you just wanted it to be me, because for some goddamn reason you just want to make me quit. So congratulations! You might have just succeeded this time!”

Sammy took a deep breath once his rant was over and noticed at last how Bendy had gone really quite. He wasn’t looking at him and had his head hung low.

“So you really didn’t do it?” came Bendy’s meager question.

Sammy didn’t even dignify that with the obvious response. Instead, he focused on how the water flow from the sinks weakened until stopping altogether, Took Franks long enough. The silence that followed was tense, but Sammy greatly preferred it to having to deal with more tantrums from the toon on his shoulder. Sighing, he moved to the center of the room and settled for impatiently staring impatiently at the door. A chill went up Sammy’s spine, and he cursed his body’s inability to maintain a decent temperature. He would normally find it annoying, but with all that had happened and his head starting to pound, he had ran out of steam. He shifted his weight uncomfortably in place, his feet already feeling numb in his shoes. If he got sick and Joey didn’t give him some kind of compensation, he would make sure he never heard the end of it. Fortunately, he wasn’t needed the next day. Well, he was always needed since his department was filled with idiots, but they could usually handle by themselves whatever there was to do on the weekends, so he’d be able to rest until monday.

“Soooo,” Bendy’s voice broke the silence. It had been nice while it lasted. “Whatcha, uh, whatcha thinking about, Sammy?”

“Oh, nothing. Just wondering whether it’s worth it to write a formal resignation letter or just use the honey on my desk to paste a piece of paper that says ‘I quit’ to Joey’s office door.”

“O-oh…”

Bendy fidgeted in his place, refusing to look at him.

“W-well. You can’t do none of those!”

Sammy raised an eyebrow.

“Really now? And whose stopping me? Because it’s certainly not you.

“Because, uh, because…” Bendy frowned in concentration, before he snapped his fingers. “Because Boris would miss ya! Yeah! You wouldn’t make Boris sad on purpose, would ya?

Wait. Did Bendy actually think he was going to quit? Sammy threatened to quit almost daily. One would think that Bendy would know better. Nonetheless, Sammy decided to play along.

“Boris would miss anyone that worked here even if they had never talked with him. Maybe if I quit the experience will help him to get over it if it happens again, huh?”

Sammy was aware that sounded harsher than he meant it. Boris was one of the few people in the studio that he didn’t feel like yelling at all the time. But he couldn’t help but smirk when his answer had the desired effect. Bendy was trying to come up with another reason of why he shouldn’t quit. Was it immature of him? Absolutely! But he was standing in a flooded bathroom, clothes soaked, a literal little demon on his shoulder and no cigarettes at all. He figured he deserved to have some petty revenge.

“Uh, A-alice, then! Don’t you think it would be bad luck to upset an angel?”

“I already have to deal with a demon on a daily basis. I don’t think I have the luck of any angels on my side. Besides, I think it would only actually affect her if it was Susie who quit instead of me.”

“Wait, that’s it!” Bendy’s tail briefly formed the outline of a lightbulb. “Susie! You can’t leave her here all alone! That would make you the worst boyfriend in the world!”

Sammy huffed.

“We only spend time together on our break time, which we can still do even if I worked elsewhere.” He hummed thoughtfully. “Actually, she also does some extra work in some other places. Maybe she can recommend me to a boss that doesn’t practice black magic as a hobby.”

“Shoot,” Bendy said under his breath. “But- But you can’t leave because you are already Joey’s favorite director! What if you are not the favorite of your new boss, huh? Maybe he’ll hate you!”

“Oh? So I’m Joey’s favorite now?” Sammy asked in an intentionally bored but fake tone, crossing his arms.

“Yeah! He said that, ah, that you were the best music director in the history of forever! That you were better than Boteevan!”

“Beethoven.”

“That guy! And he said that, um, that he was considering giving you a raise! It’ll be such a raise that you will be on the top floor of the studio!”

Sammy… wasn’t sure Bendy understood what a raise was. But he shook it off.

“So, those were Joey’s exact words?”

Bendy nodded enthusiastically, his usual smile a bit strained and his cartoony eyes unable to hide the alarm he was feeling.

“So, if I were to go to Joey and ask him about it, he would tell me the exact same thing?”

Silence.

“...Yes… Maybe…”

Ok, Sammy had had his fun. Now Bendy’s nervousness and guilt about ‘causing’ him to quit was starting to become too obvious and the hand that he was using to keep himself stable was latching a bit too hard to Sammy’s shoulder. He didn’t want to cause the kid a meltdown (which got a very literal meaning with the toons when they were stressed). He was about to give in and tell him the truth when a loud cracking noise caught their attention. They both slowly looked at the door.

“What was that?” Bendy asked warily.

“I don’t know, but it sure didn’t sound like an axe to me.”

Sammy backed away slowly from the door until his back touched the wall opposite to it. They flinched when they heard the sound again, and a crack cut right through the middle of the door. Then again, and splinters were sent flying everywhere. Once more, and the door was split in two. Sammy instinctively grabbed Bendy to shield him from the raining debris that exploded as a result. All the remaining water gushed out into the hallway, but Sammy didn’t take notice, nor did Bendy. There was something far more important that had just appeared. Right in front of the destroyed door was an enormous mass of ink, so tall and wide that it wouldn’t have been able to fit through the doorway if it tried. It vaguely resembled the top half of a human, it’s hunched torso being its support on the floor. Hollowed eyes looked at them with a dead stare. Sammy didn’t even dare to breathe.

“What are you doing standing there? Move aside!” Joey’s order returned them to reality.

The ink monster immediately obeyed, granting the space needed for a very panicked looking Joey to run into the bathroom. His glasses were crooked on his face, he was breathing hard and he was clutching a book with such force that his hands were shaking. The instant he spotted Bendy in Sammy’s hands, his face flooded with relief. On Sammy’s part, he couldn’t take his eyes off the monstruosity that had just appeared before him, so still petrified in his place, he could only ask:

“What the hell is that?!”

“Oh, well Wally said the door was stuck, so I figured we would need a little help.” Joey answered, waving his hand dismisively. “More importantly, Bendy are you ok?!”

Sammy, realizing he was still holding Bendy as far away from the door as possible, cleared his throat and shoved him into Joey’s arms. He didn’t stay to see Joey smothering Bendy in a hug and checking him for any damage. Instead he headed towards his sweet freedom, giant monster outside or not. He still practically hugged the wall to not come close to that thing, though. He got out just in time to see Wally Franks arrive running and lean against the wall to catch his breath, muttering something about Joey being fast for his age. Sammy didn’t spare him a second before pointing to the ink creature and giving him an incredulous look.

“What about that looks like an axe to you, Franks?!” His voice was just a tad more high pitched than he would have liked, but he ignored it for the time being. Wally looked at him to respond, but couldn’t stop himself from snorting.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you were drenched!”

Sammy’s death glare shut him up.

“R-right, uh, so I told Joey what happened and I thought he was going to yell at me and then tell me where the axe was, but he just got all pale and then he grabbed that book and started running while yelling some weird crap on another language. Next thing you know, big guy over there is growing out of the ground and following him down the stairs! It was crazy!” Wally scratched his head. “Umm, I also think someone fainted when it passed in front of them…”

Sammy let out a sigh and rubbed at his head. The pain that had been receding was now returning tenfold.

“Sammy!” Joey called out to him while he, too, exited the bathroom. “I’m glad everyone’s ok, of course, but I would like to know… how did that happen?” He pointed at the destroyed sinks.

Nope. He was NOT dealing with that right now.

“Oh, I’m sure little prankster there will tell you what he did with plenty of detail. I’m going home early.”

He glared at Joey, daring him to protest. But just looking at the state he was in, his boss nodded.

“Of course, you need to go get some dry clothes. And I’m guessing I won’t see you tomorrow?”

“You guess correctly,” Sammy said as he walked past his boss, not taking his eyes off the ink beast, just in case.

“See you on monday?”

At that Sammy stopped. That had been Bendy asking. He turned around to look at the demon in Joey’s arms, who was looking up at him with pleading eyes. Sammy remained silent for a moment. He guessed he could just ignore him, but he had punished him enough already.

“Yeah, yeah. See you on monday. Unfortunately.”

At that, Bendy visibly relaxed. Sammy rolled his eyes and kept walking.

Monday arrived way faster than Sammy would have liked, but then again, that was nothing new. What was new, however, was that he found his office exceptionally clean. He hadn’t bothered tidying things up before he left on friday, but now the honey was gone from his desk, and there didn’t seem to be a paper out of place or a speck of dust on any surface. A report of what had been done on saturday and a list of future tasks was already waiting for him, too.

But what caught his attention the most was a colorful piece of paper sitting on the middle of his desk. It was a drawing. It depicted him conducting a band, with random musical notes (some of which weren’t even real notes) forming an arch above his head. He stared at it for a long while,slowly processing the fact that this was most likely some sort of apology. He shook his head. He couldn’t waste more time on this. He had work to do. Sammy was going to just put it away into a random drawer, but looking at it again, he changed his mind. He put it in the upper right drawer instead.

[redrackham87]

guys, i survived semester 1. 

the short version: i made it. i finished semester 1. i’ve spent the last two weeks sleeping and being with/visiting family/doing christmas. i have a couple more days of family, a few more after that of sleeping, and then i go back to battle semester 2. PHEW. i’m alive and actually had good grades mostly????? so yay!

the super, duper long version: below the cut. XD

the projects were constant and huge - either a ton of work, or just super time consuming. there was a lot of cutting paper (into letters, shapes, etc; mounting them all). there was sanding, cutting wood, plaster molds, molding clay, decoupage, note taking/writing, paper writing, memorization, drawing, lectures... 

basically, in every class, there was roughly a large project per week, sometimes two. as soon as i handed in and completed one, we were immediately given a new one. most of the projects required a “process”, too: drawing out 10-20 “thumbnails” (usually about 2 x 3 in each), then picking the “three best” ideas to “refine” into “discussion roughs” (usually about 6 x 8 in or so each; nicer drawn than the thumbs). then take one discussion rough and make it shiny - sometimes into a “comprehensive rough”, after we got feedback on the discussion roughs, or just going straight from the discussion roughs to the final. they want the thumbnails to explore a pile of different ideas (you get marked on your process) and the entire process handed in with the final. so. time. consuming. 

it was just this relentless gauntlet, all the way up to a couple exams, and finally, winter break. i found out there’s a THIRTY FIVE PERCENT dropout rate for first years, which was both horrifying and reassuring. 

the other problem was most of the teachers seemed to act like they were the only ones giving us work - so they’d be honestly surprised/disappointed when people were unable to finish things. -_- 

(i always finished, i’m happy(?) to report - it was often not pretty or good, lol, and i was often massively sleep deprived, but it was done. as the semester went on, i got marginally better at just stopping, and saying “that’s as good as it’s gonna get”. i regularly slept about 4-5 hours, often only 3, and a few times were 2, 1, and once, 40 mins, which was fun.)

design drawing was my nightmare class. it’s basically super technical perspective drawing. i had a lot of trouble wrapping my head around the concepts from the start, and the pace is so intense, that falling behind once meant falling behind a lot and not really able to catch up - i was finally understanding the week 1 stuff by the time we were on week 5 stuff. i did hours and hours of extra work outside of that class - reading the supplementary textbooks, getting help from peers, online tutorials, etc. - not including the actual projects, which took far longer than most. (example: on one project, i did some discussion roughs that literally took me 8 hours, and my teacher told me it should’ve taken me 20 minutes tops. -_-)

i asked the teacher for help several times, in class and out. he was super knowledgeable and experienced, but it clearly comes extremely easy to him and he was not good at relaying it - he’d rush through his explanations, and didn’t seem to understand (or really care?) that i did not grasp the concepts. he’d just freehand his version (we’re supposed to use rulers) and say, “just like what we did in class”, repeating himself instead of helping me understand. he was never outright condescending or anything, but i quickly got the vibe that he wasn’t happy about having to re-explain things to me, so after a couple times, i stopped bothering him. he also dinged me marks when i didn’t do it “his way” (ie. when i got help from online tutorials or other teachers. -_-)

i scraaaaaaaped a C in that class. all i needed was to pass. for second semester coming up, i have to take design drawing II... but i have a different teacher

for art history, i took copious notes, as for the two exams for it, we had to memorize 60 slides - this means, knowing about a dozen things for a single piece of art. 60 different pieces of art. we had to memorize: the location (which was where it was made for some pieces, but where it was found for others), the date (it was made or found), the medium (what it was made of), who the artist was, and the exact name of the piece. that was 60 slides for the first half, to midterms, then another 60 for the second half, up to the final exam. this was accompanied by 40-60+ pages of reading, per week.

tbh, i actually aced art history. (*beams*) the teacher gave us a sheet on the first day that was all the slides we needed to know, and she frequently, specifically said “this will be on the exam”. the projects for that class were writing a couple short essays, and of course, writing isn’t a problem for me. so all i did was, you know, follow her instructions and memorize the slides she told us to. XD the final exam didn’t go super well, as i was struggling to the finish line and didn’t have enough time and energy to memorize as hard as i needed to. but anyways: came outta that class with a A final mark. :)))

i also managed an A in sculpture - there was a lot of BSing involved in my concepts at times, but the teacher was chill and generous, and this was my option class that i frankly ended up putting the least amount of time into overall, since it’s not critical to me moving on in the graphic design stream, just necessary to complete first year studies. XD we had to do projects involving clay (x2), wood (x1), plaster (x1), and “found object” (x1) - not a project-a-week class, which helped, but also consumed time i did not have with everything else. 

of the last two classes, one was 95% lecture with 3 small essays/papers + final project (pulled an A in that class too!!! and my instructor asked to keep my final project to show future semesters. :D). the second class was the most time consuming outside of design drawing - huge variety of projects, all super time consuming, all requiring that process (thumbnails, etc) and a mysterious amount of participation and professionalism (it didn’t seem to matter if i actively participated in class or not, my mark in those categories was almost exactly the same every single week). i got Bs on every project, and so wound up with a B final in that class.

next semester, my schedule is the same structure: same amount of hours on the same days. i’m hoping against hope that the workload might be even a little less, or that i’ll just... be able to handle it better?? i have no idea how. 

i somehow have to figure out how to make lunches so i’m not buying all the time, because i can’t financially survive otherwise. i somehow have to find time to sleep better during the semester. O_o

so ya. phew.

BUT I MADE IT THROUGH SEMESTER 1. AND AM DETERMINED TO BATTLE HARD FOR SEMESTER 2.

*throws on dark lipstick and picks up rey’s staff and slicks back hair like eleven*

come at me bro [semester 2].