#the dog who loves you. the man who loves you. both who want to be loved | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

writingroom21 · 3 days ago

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Sweet Escape

Pairing: Rafe x single mom reader

Summary: Moving to Kildare with your best friend and daughter was the perfect move. The little island is perfect, the people are nice, and you are finally at peace. Then Rafe comes in with his perfect smile and charm, sweeping you off your feet. The only issue is if you are ready to let someone else in.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse (Theo to reader), Theo just being himself, let me know if I missed any.

Wc:4.5K

masterlist

Chapter 9: Birthday Surprise

“Fuck.” Rafe yells before sucking on his finger. You look up from the table setting the scissors down. “Are you okay?” He just nods before going back to trying his best to soothe his paper cut. The two of you are trying to be quiet as Vi takes her nap. You thought it would be a good time to wrap her birthday presents.

Which meant Rafe thought it was a great time to wrap his birthday presents. Let’s just say he went all out. A few weeks ago the three of you went to the main land to the mall. Of course Rafe had to take her to the toy store there. You practically had to fight the both of them to leave without those drivable kid cars.

You may have won that battle but Rafe sure as hell won the war. When you were at Tanny Hill yesterday you found the big box in his closet. He went back without you and got the damn car. Bet he’s regretting it now as he heals his papercut. “Aren’t there people that do this shit for a living?” You shake your head at him as you finish your presents and go help him.

“Have I told you how much I love you and how amazing you are?” He sweet talks as you wrap his present. “I can’t believe you got her this.” You mumble, fighting back a smile so he doesn’t see. “Yeah, well imagine how cute she’s going to look. You can thank me then.” He’s right. Vi is going to love it and you are excited to see her reaction.

“You know she’s been telling me about a dog.” Rafe cheekily says as you finish wrapping the gift. You dropped the bow you were picking up. “I swear if you get her a dog you’ll regret it.” He lets out a laugh and moves the gift away from you. “Oh yeah? What are you going to do?” There’s a hint of suggestion in his voice. A small smile creeps its way to your face as he crawls closer to you.

“Maybe I’ll teach you a lesson this time.” Rafe pauses mid way to you, his eyes flickering between yours. His head tilts to the side as he assesses you. “And how’d you do that?” He gets closer to you, sneaking between your legs. Slowly he presses kisses to the side of your neck, making his way up to your lips. Just as his lips are going to meet yours, you move your head away. Using your hands you push yourself up causing him to fall back.

“Where are you going?” You ignore him and pick up the presents. Carrying them, you make your way to the hall closet and hide them. Heavy footsteps follow you, stopping right behind you. When you turn around he looks at you like he’s ready to devour you. “That pretty boy is your lesson. Get her a dog and you can just kiss seeing me naked again goodbye.”

He licks his lips as he looks down at you. “I mean how could I say no to kissing your naked body.” Shaking your head you push him further away. “I mean it, Rafe. I don’t want a dog in this house. June would probably have a heart attack.” The two of you know you are lying. June would love it since she’s an animal person. But a dog would be too much for you to deal with.

Plus who would take care of it while you are at the shop and Jo is working. Granted Jo worked from home but she still had to look after June. It would just be too hectic in the house and you don’t know if that’s what you need.

“I guess you have a point. Party pooper.” Just as he finished his sentence there was a voice calling you. “Mommy!” Vi yells as she wakes up from her little nap. Rafe doesn't bring up the dog conversation for the rest of the day which you are thankful for. But you did overhear Violet try to sweet talk her way into one. Man she’s good because you were ready to cave in.

Eventually she got tired and you put her to bed. Jo and Rafe set up the living room as June bossed them around. Tomorrow you have another court hearing. This time there’s going to be testomoney’s which makes you nervous. Jo’s parents flew out and are currently on their way over to the house. As they are one of the first to talk on your behalf.

Diane told you that his parents are going to be his first witness’. The last time you saw them was at your parents funeral. They had cornered you after the service berating you for showing up. You remember going back home just to cry for the rest of the day. Sure your parents weren’t great but you loved them. All you wanted was for them to love you back or at least not care about themselves more than you.

Seeing them again is going to be hard.

“Rafe if you drop that vase I will ban you from this house.” The man stops dead in his tracks. His other hand finds the vase so he’s using both hands. He clears his throat as he nods his head. “Sorry Juney.” You giggle and help Jo pull out the mattress from the couch. As you put the finishing touches there’s a knock on the door. Jo practically sprints over just to almost tackle her parents.

Lillian is the first to break from the hug and run over to you. “Oh if it isn’t my other baby. How are you? How's my little girl?” She rattle off as he hugs you tight. A second pair of arms squeeze you both. “Hi sweetheart.” You laugh as they bombard you with questions. “I’m good and Vi’s sleeping. She’s going to be happy in the morning.”

They are going to answer until a voice cuts them off. “I gave birth to you and yet I’m ignored.” June fakes a sigh as Lillian and Benji go over to hug her. “Sorry mom. It’s just been weird without the girls. We’re happy to see you.” They catch up a little bit as you go to find Rafe. He’s standing in the kitchen, staring down at the sink.

“Hey you okay?” Rafe jumps a little at your words, turning to look at you. “What if they don’t like me?” His eyes are just barely looking over your shoulder as if he is scared of what could walk in. “Why would they hate you?” Walking closer you stop just short of him as he shakes his head. “I don’t know, maybe because I’m me. My own parents didn’t even like me.” His hands find his hair pulling at the strands.

“They're your parents. What they think matters and I can’t lose the two of you. What happens when they hate me? I can’t put you through that.” You make your way to him and wrap your arms around his middle. “Jo and June love you, so does Vi. I love you Rafe.” The weight of his arms rest on your shoulders as he squeezes you back. “They’ll love you and want to know how I know that.” He pulls away to look down at you. “You are one of the best people I’ve ever met. You loved Vi from the start and that alone will make them like you.”

Footsteps start to echo in the hallway and you know they’ll come in here soon. “Plus Benji is a space nerd just like you. That gives you at least some brownie points.” Rafe laughs at the joke as they enter the room. “Jesus Jo you said he was attractive but that doesn’t even cover it.” Lillian gawks as she walks into the kitchen. Rafe pulls away from you to greet her and Benji. He had poured glasses of water for them, which he offered with a shy smile.

It was weird seeing Rafe being awkward around someone. Which didn’t last long as Lillian and Benji asked him a bunch of questions. By the time they are done it’s time for bed. “I’m telling you the Celestron NexStar is the best one.” Benji tells Rafe. “I’ll have to look into it. Have a goodnight.” Rafe shakes his hand and gives Lillian a hug.

As the two of you settle into bed you smile. “Think it went well?” you ask him, hoping his nerves have calmed. “Good I think. I really like them.” You turn to your side and rest your head on his chest. “They like you too. I could tell.” Snuggling in closer your eyes start to drift. “Really?” Rafe’s voice is quiet but you still heard it. Nodding your head you answer him before sleep takes you.

✦✦✦✦✦

“All rise for Judge Argent.” Everyone stands up as the judge walks in and sits down. “You may all be seated. Welcome back everyone. I have reviewed the evidence brought forth and viewed the witness list. Mrs. Simmons, are you ready to call up your first witness.” Diane sends you a smile as she stands up. “Yes, your honor. The defense would like to call Lillian Bridely to the stand.”

Lillian is escorted by an officer to the stand and made to swear to tell the truth. As her hand leaves the bible her eyes meet yours and you feel at peace. All the nerves from the day just disappeared. “Mrs. Bridely.” DIane starts but it cuts off. “Please call me Lillian. Mrs. Bridely makes me seem too old.” The courtroom chuckles at her attempt to lighten the mood.

“Well Lillian, can you tell the court how you know the defendant?” Diane is standing in the middle of the room, blocking you a bit from her. “The defendant has been my daughter's best friend since elementary school. She spent a lot of time at our house. Then after she was kicked out she lived with us.” Diane nods as Lillian finishes her statement. She walks a little to the side and then asks her next question.

“When you said she was kicked out, was that by her parents” Lillian nods her head and answers yes. “After they found out she was pregnant they said some awful things and told her to leave. Jo had brought her to the house right after and she stayed there until moving here.” Theo lawyer looks like he’s about to say something but he doesn’t. “What was the reaction to her pregnancy?”

Lillian takes a deep breath. “She told my daughter Jo first. Which then meant we were told because our daughter has a big mouth. When my husband Benji and I talked to her she seemed scared.” Theo lawyer stands up. “Objection, this is speculation on how the defendant felt.” Judge Argent raises a hand ordering him to sit back down. “Mrs. Simmons please proceed and I advise you to be precise with your wording.” Diane shoots a look at the other lawyer before proceeding. “Lillian, describe how you thought she was scared.”

“She told us. She said she was scared of how her parents and Theo would react.” Lillian looks at you and it feels like you are back to that moment. The worry in her eyes are the same as they were years ago. “Why was that?” Diane asks. “May her parents rest in peace but they were obsessed with their image. The only reason why Theo and her were together was because their parents wanted it. I would sometimes overhear them berating her. Saying that she was a…”

Lillian clears her throat, swallowing the lump that's forming. “A what?” Diane encourages her to finish. “A mistake and failure. They were ashamed that she would get pregnant. They told her it was a good thing Theo left since now she couldn’t ruin his life.” Diane and everyone looks over at Theo. He looks pissed as Lillian stares down at him. Next to him Delia looks between them as if trying to assess the situation.

“You say Mr. Wixx left. Can you describe what you mean?” Lillian looks at Diane. “She had him come to our house and told him there. My husband, Jo and I stayed in the kitchen and they talked in the living room. After she told him, he started screaming. Saying that it was going to ruin his life. That he never wanted to be a dad, especially not a kid with her.” Theo’s lawyer whips his head to look at his client.

“Is this the first time you witnessed Mr. Wixx raise his voice?” The question almost made her laugh. “No, he had a habit of finding things to be mad about. I witnessed him yell at her during their senior prom. All over the flower of his boutonniere. Called her and I apologize for my language ‘a stupid dumb bitch who can’t do anything right’. Then proceeded to yell at her for crying.”

“You remember those exact words?” Tears start to form in your eyes at the memory. If you are being honest it was buried along with so many others. That night he convinced everyone you would be staying at a hotel for the weekend. But in reality it was just so no one could see the bruises he left on your body after. “Yes. It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard him say things. I kept a log of what I heard.”

Diane nods and goes to the table to grab a paper. She sends you a wink. “I would like to bring evidence 1A to the stand.” The judge looks over the document as Mr. Campbell scrambles to read it. “This is a large list Lillian.” Diane casually mentions. “I’ve seen a lot.” Lillian adds. “Can you tell me what you witnessed on March 17th?” You scrunch your nose not knowing what they are talking about. “I was asleep and woke up to pounding on the door. When I opened it she came rushing in only for me to see Theo hot on her trails. Benji stopped him and told him to leave as I talked to her.”

You are confused about what she’s talking about. You can kind of remember being with him that day but not going to their house. “She had a black eye and cuts along her hair line. I asked her questions but she wasn’t making any sense. We took her to the hospital and found that it was a concussion. The following week I checked up on her and she didn’t even remember that day. The whole day was just gone.” You tune out what she says after that.

How many memories do you not have because of him? Was it really that bad? You’re so stuck in your head that you didn’t realize that Theo’s lawyer already cross examined her. Benji sits on the stand answering some of Diane’s questions. It looks like Diane is finishing up as he ends his last statement. “Thank you. That’s all your honor.” Mr. Campbell stands up fixing his suit. “Mr. Bridely can you tell me about your relationship with the defendant.” He stands tall trying to make himself look taller. “My daughter's best friend but she’s family.”

“Would it be safe to say that you feel over protective about the defendant?” Benji goes to roll his eyes but stops. “Yes, any father would be over protective.” “But you aren’t her father are you?” Benji’s left eye does the little twitch it does when he’s upset. “Maybe not biologically but in my heart that’s my daughter. I’ve watched her grow up with mine and I’m grateful we were able to be in her life.” Mr. Campbell looks irritated at the answer but moves on.

“Have you ever witnessed Mr. Wixx put his hands on the defendant?” Benji takes in a breath. “No, I have never witnessed him lay a hand on her.” Campbell interrupts him. “Thank you Mr. Bridely.” “But I have witnessed him verbally assault her. I have seen the bruises that were left behind after she’s been with him. I witnessed how a child that was so bright lost the light in her eyes at the hands of the plaintiff.” Campbell interrupts him again. “Thank you Mr. Bridely. I have no further questions.”

Judge argent watches as Campbell walks back to his table slamming his papers down. “You are dismissed.” Benji walks off the stand and sits next to his wife. “I will go over the statements given today. We will be here at the same time in two weeks. Have a great rest of your day.” The officer to the side of the judge argent steps forward. “All rise.” With that Argent leaves and court is over.

You thank Diane and meet everyone out front. You hug Lillian and Benji thanking them. “Stop thanking us. You should know by now that we will always help you.” Rafe wraps an arm around your shoulder pulling you closer to him. Then a throat clears behind you. Theo is standing there with Delia besides him holding a gift. “I just wanted to give you Violet’s birthday present.” Delia hands the gift to you but you can’t help to notice Theo’s tone. He isn’t happy and he’s showing it. Delia forces a smile at you which you return. Then you do something really stupid.

“Actually here, you can give it to her at the birthday party. I can text you the details.” Rafe tenses beside you and you can feel everyone's eyes on you. “Really?” Delia asks, her eyes are shining and you kind of feel bad. Sure she’s with Theo and seems like a bit much. But she does seem nice based on how she acts with others. She’s still dumb for practically kidnapping Vi but you can’t help but to feel for her.

“You don’t have to pretend Prim.” Theo’s eyes narrow at you. “I’m not. This is me giving you an olive branch.” You hold his stare and it feels like you’re communicating. He knows this is a move on your end. He just doesn’t know how he should plan his next move. “We’ll be there.” He takes Delia’s hand and walks away leaving you in awkwardness.

The whole ride home they kept asking you how you could invite him over. “Diane said we need to play along.” You try to argue but no one listens to you. “That doesn’t mean that you had to invite him.” After a long time of explaining yourself they got the hint. “If I do this then it looks like I’m trying. He’ll eventually fall apart and this will all be over.” They finally dropped it and agreed it would be a good idea. What could possibly go wrong?

Turns out a lot of things. You had picked up the cake only to drop it in the driveway. Lillian and Benji ran to the closest bakery to find something to use. Then the decorations weren’t enough so Jo had to run to the story to get more. It seemed like the day was just going wrong. But Vi was having a blast helping put things up so at least she was having fun.

It was stressful getting everything ready but it was finally done. Just in time for people to start to show up.

You had invited some of the kids from the neighborhood. Rafe got a bouncy house so you knew they would enjoy it. Plus you have been doing playdates with some of the other moms. Which is nice because now you feel like you have mom friends who can give you tips. The kids run from outside to inside the house chasing each other around. You found a tik tok about potion making and since it's Halloween month you thought it was perfect.

There’s an area in the living room where some of the younger kids are making potions. Vi is laughing as she pours glitter everywhere and you know you’ll regret it later. There was a knock on the door and you opened it to see some of Rafe’s friends. “Hey sorry we’re late. Kelce forgot a card and needed to get one.” Topper explains as he hugs you. “Dude I already told you, a gift needs a card. Hey good to see you.” Kelce greets.

They enter the house so you go to close the door but see Theo and Delia. They make their way in saying hi and you show them where they can leave the present. “Everything looks great.” Delia compliments. “Thanks took a while to set up. Just happy it turned out alright.” They go off and mingle as you try to make sure everything is good.

Two hours tick by and you decide it's probably time for cake. Everyone has already eaten so dessert might be a good idea. Lillian brings out the replacement cake. Everyone sings happy birthday to a squealing Vi. You help her blow out her candles because she’s still trying to eat cake right away. Don’t think she grasps the concept of blowing them out fully. “Alright mom, time for a family photo.” Jo exclaims as she pulls out her phone.

You bend down next to her but before Jo can take the photo, Vi shocks you all. “Daddy, come!” She yells as she waves at Rafe. The whole room becomes silent as you all watch Rafe. There’s a moment of panic then it's whipped away from his face. He smiles as he walks over and kneels on the other side of Vi. “I’m here sweet girl.” He whispers to her. “Okay, say cheese.” You all look at Jo and repeat the word.

She takes a few photos of the three of you. Then Rafe takes some of you, Vi, Jo, June, Lillian, and Benji. You forced Sarah and Wheezie into some photos as well but they didn’t seem to complain. Once photos were out of the way, the cake was cut and distributed. Kids now we're crashing from all the food and sugar so the party was coming to an end. The only people still left were all adults.

Rafe helps Vi open presents as the rest of you sit and watch. She was so excited when she saw the toy car that the rest of the gifts were almost abandoned. Her favorite part was having the chance to throw the wrapping everywhere because she could make a mess. Plus she got a lot of cool new toys that she was really excited about. You were cleaning up the mess that was left behind as Benji tries to set up the car.

“Okay so I have another gift that I want to give Vi.” Rafe starts to talk as Jo exits the room. Everyone turns to look at him but he’s only looking at you. “I know we already talked about it but I’m weak and caved.” Your ears perk up at his wording and you glare at him. “Rafe you did not.” He smiles at you and shrugs his shoulders. You stand up, dropping the wrapping paper in your hands. “What did he do?” Wheezie asks.

“She keeps begging me for it and I couldn’t say no. Plus she’s going to be staying at my house. So see, problem solved.” Just as he finishes his sentence Jo walks in with the cutest English bulldog. It looks like a puppy since it’s still so small. When you look at Vi her eyes light up as she jumps up from her seat. She runs over to the dog waiting patiently as Jo puts it down. You walk over as the puppy sniffs her hand and licks it causing her to laugh.

“What do you think baby?” You ask as you pet the new addition. Vi smiles bigly and hugs the puppy. “I love dog.” She exclaims happily. You shoot Rafe a look but really you can’t be mad. She looks so happy. “It better be staying at yours.” You say as you move the dog to your lap. “She is. I have everything set up already. She just needs a name.” “Peach.” Vi says. As if the puppy knew she let out a little bark. “Alright, peach it is.”

Rafe tells you how he went to the shelter and found her in one of the cages. Peach is just eight months old, practically a baby. The more you find out the more you fall in love. When she falls asleep she lets out these cute little snores. It only makes her look cuter. The excitement of a dog was the signal that said the party was over. Everyone was grabbing their things and saying goodbye.

Theo and Delia were one of the last to leave. There’s a sort of energy around THeo as he stands by the door. You can see that Delia is talking to him but he’s not listening. He is too busy staring at you and Rafe pretending to be a family with Vi. It pisses him off that for a while he’s been trying to get Violet to call him dad and she wont. Just for her to call a random man daddy in front of so many people. It’s embarrassing and now he knows why you invited him.

You make your way over to them to see them out. “Thank you again for coming. Have a safe drive back.” You offer as you open the door. Theo stares down at you in disgust. “Are you happy now that you’ve made a fool of me? You are just so insufferable that you had to take jabs at me at our daughter's birthday.” Delia’s eyes widen a bit and she gives him a look as if to say stop talking. “I can’t wait for you to realize that he’ll leave you too. Enjoy your make believe world while you can.”

Delia and you watch as he walks down the driveway. You stand there shocked at his stupidity. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why he’s been upset recently.” You tell her it’s okay. In reality it is okay because he’s wrong. Rafe isn’t going to leave you because he’s different.Theo can try all he wants but he’s not going to get in your head and make you doubt Rafe.

“Don’t apologize for him. He’s not sorry but it’s okay.” She looks at you for a moment and just nods. “It really was a great party. Thank you again for inviting us.” She follows after her fiance leaving you to watch from the doorway. It’s weird to think that you were in her shoes just a few years ago. That even with your warning she is still standing with him. Then you think about how you never once asked for help. Every time he did something you kept quiet out of fear. But that fear isn’t going to stop you now.

You close the door blocking them from your view. Making a promise to yourself that no matter what Theo throws at you, he will not get your daughter.

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#rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe x you #obx #rafe x single mom #rafe cameron fanfiction #obx rafe cameron

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ofbatsandballads · 2 days ago

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Hi Rae. Who gave you permission to snap my heart in two at midnight? No, really, this has me going insane so have my ranting under the cut:

He's not normal. Not someone you should be happy to see. […] But you are– everytime he drags his weary body to your window– you're happy. You smile, welcome him inside like he has a place there.

The way I’m already screaming “because he does have a place there!” before we’ve even hit the end. Something about Jason not being able to accept love not because other people are liars or insincere but because he can’t comprehend why anyone would love him is so heartbreakingly in character.

It's not like he can offer the same back or return the favors you so freely give. He wants to– at least he thinks he does– he just gets stuck when it comes to what to do with you.

Reciprocity—tit for tat, an eye for an eye—being so ingrained in his perception of the world and of himself that he can’t realize he doesn’t have to return the favor, that he can just accept the kindness for what it is, makes me want to cry. Thanks.

shocked to stillness each time your hands don't bring a wave of hurt to his skin.

Stray dog coded Jason who doesn’t know what to do when touch doesn’t hurt is so dear to me. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: your characterization of him is golden.

He adores you. He won't admit it to anyone, not even to himself most of the time. But he does.

Jason who loves so deeply, so completely that it could destroy him. Jason who has spent both of his lives just trying to stay above water, running from anything that could harm him. Jason who was killed because he loved so fiercely. Just…him finding himself loving someone that much again and sort of bluescreening on what that means for him.

There is no happy ending when all he can offer is fleeting comforts and one word answers. He doesn't deserve your patience, your endless willingness to understand and wait for him to figure himself out.

The absolute overpowering emotion of needing to drill it into his head with love and kindness and care that there is a happy ending with all of that actually. And that he does deserve good things and patience and love. I just know loving him would be so frustrating sometimes but that each time it would just make you want to stick around more.

If he knew how, he'd ask if you were really okay with who he is, what he does, how he acts. Your eagerness to make him feel like he does fit into any place in your life makes him wonder if it's all just a mask. If you're just waiting for him to be at his worst to reveal that it's all a lie– that he's truly and devastatingly unwanted.

So this whole paragraph took me out but that last line destroyed me. The phrase “truly and devastatingly unwanted” is going to live rent free in my head for a while now.

it's just that the store was out and he was bleeding too heavily through his suit to stop at anywhere else.

I recently read a piece of Jason meta that said that he would accept any and all harm or mistreatment just to get the companionship and love he craves and this really speaks to that because why are you picking up ice cream when you’re bleeding out??? Oh, it’s because he thinks he’s unworthy of basic human decency if he has nothing to offer.

You're just too good. Everything Jason isn't. He feels like he's dragging you down with him when you offer to keep emergency weapons for him hidden in your apartment. He's definitely staining everything you are with his greedy hands when you start keeping extra first aid kits in your closet.

Clawing at the walls while screaming “they do it because they love you!!!” I love reading this from the perspective of his partner because it’s just sitting here listening to the internal monologue of man that is confidently incorrect. Your description of him being an unreliable narrator is spot on.

And when you clean out a drawer in your dresser for him to keep clothes in, when you stock your cupboards with all his preferred foods, fill your shelves with his favorite books, and play the songs he loves to hum along to, he selfishly lets himself believe you might want this forever too. You do.

One of my favorite things about how you write Jason is that he always, without fail, breaks at the end just a little bit. The sustained love and care and kindness always manages to get the tiniest foothold in his soul, like a flower growing through a crack in concrete. Even when he thinks he’s being selfish or delusional or blindly hopeful. It’s so true to what loving someone like him would be like—slow and gradual and hard fought, but resolute and unflinching.

So yeah, in short I love this with my entire being and I will be sending you the bill for my therapy (please never stop writing).

If He Could

Jason is an unreliable narrator ~1k words

Jason's no good for you. He's too brash, too rough, too easily pulled away to defend the streets of Gotham. He's a liability in your life, a dark stain in the otherwise perfect fabric of your reality. He's all the worst of shadowed alleys and tortured corners of decaying apartments.

He's quick to pull a weapon, even quicker to throw a punch. He doesn't quite remember how to make his smile look natural, how to stand without his shoulders tense and ready to dodge whatever comes his way. He's not normal. Not someone you should be happy to see.

But you are– everytime he drags his weary body to your window– you're happy. You smile, welcome him inside like he has a place there.

And he doesn't know what to do with it. Doesn't know how he should react to your bright eyes and soft touches and fond words. It's not like he can offer the same back or return the favors you so freely give. He wants to– at least he thinks he does– he just gets stuck when it comes to what to do with you.

He knows he shouldn't tense up at your reassuring pats to his arms– but he freezes, shocked to stillness each time your hands don't bring a wave of hurt to his skin. He knows he shouldn't be so quiet when you ramble about your day, but he can't find the words to describe just how much he does care about every mundane fact you share with him.

And oh, does he care. Too much even. Cares in a way that scares him off the grid for days at a time, only to sheepishly find his way back to your fire escape with a tub of melting ice cream or cooling coffee and a half-baked excuse on his tongue.

He adores you. He won't admit it to anyone, not even to himself most of the time. But he does. It's you who he wants to come back to when his feet ache and his eyes strain to make out words and figures. It's you who makes him feel not so heavy when the sun starts to rise over the tired, crumbling buildings he knows better than his own skin.

He has a portion of his heart and mind set aside just for you. But Jason can't tell you that. The more he relents to you (because he can never say no when you ask), the more he threatens to ruin you. He's a slow rot, a plague that sets into the very marrow of your bones.

But you don't see it. He doesn't want you to, but you should. You should understand that by carving out a place for him besides you, you are going to destroy yourself from the inside out.

It's not fair to you– to either of you. But he always ends up back in your living room, always ends up with his hands curling into fists as you graciously take whatever food or trinket he's brought to try and win your continued affections.

He secretly believes he must be the most selfish person in the world when he leans into your warm hugs, when he passes out on your couch after your semi-regular movie nights. (He tries not to linger on what it means when he sleeps better on your old, worn furniture than his own bed)

It's cruel of him to lead you on like this. It's cruel of him to set himself up for heartbreak. You'll learn that he's not worth your time soon enough. But, for now, he can't help but bask in the way you offer to stitch the tears in his clothes, the way you so excitedly ask him to try every new recipe you've made.

Those words still haven't come from either of your lips– don't come– even when he messes up and brings you the wrong flavor of ice cream. (It's not that he forget what you liked– it's just that the store was out and he was bleeding too heavily through his suit to stop at anywhere else)

The words don't even come when he doesn't tell you why he disappeared for over a month this time. (Someone got too close to his identity– to you. He had to track down everyone involved before he could even think of resting or seeing you again)

Jason wants to have the right words, wants to do the right thing, and make you laugh and watch your eyes light up because of something he did. He wants to hug you back in a way that makes you feel safe and needed and wanted above all else. He wants to. He just doesn't deserve to give you that, even if he knew how to do it.

But for the life of him, he can't stop. Can't stop his familiar trek to your windowsill. Can't stop craving the hugs you offer, the conversations you share.

He wants this forever. He wants to keep this– you– whatever this is, in between his fingers and never let go. (He could if you'd just let him) You would.

#jason todd x reader #rae I know I’m always unhinged in your reblogs but it’s bc you understand the guy I’ve been rotating in my brain for over a decade so well #your Jason is perfect and he makes me very sad and very happy and deeply in love #all time faves

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bunnyinvanilla · 2 days ago

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after hours at the bar with quiet/soft music + really fluffy slow dance with price. like they’re both just staring at each other with heart eyes ugh.

please listen to a song from the 80s while reading this lil one shot, i was listening to lady in red whilst writing, but any romantic song about love would set the perfect atmosphere…im gonna sob cause i love this old man

everyone’s gone home, it’s only you and price there, tables clean, soft, lovesick songs from the 80’s playing on the background.

“oh, I love this song” you murmur softly, taking off your high heels and setting them on a stool. John has packed the money and turned down all the lights, aside from the tiny one on the back of the bar — the room is now covered in a gold feeble glow, the dark brown of the wooden floor and tables unable to catch it and reflect it.

you’re an avid 80s music listener, john was pleasantly surprised and impressed upon discovering that your favorite songs were hits from his time, especially during the first proper date, when you showed him your playlist and it was completely filled with songs as old as him. “guess you like everything that’s old and vintage, mmh?”

“went pretty hard during my old days,” he says, walking over to you, his gaze flickering to your bare stockings “all the couples dedicated it to each other”

“so sweet, my parents have it on their wedding tape” you smile to yourself, remembering all the times you’d sit on the floor and replay in on the tv as a little girl (well, littler than now, at least)

“who knows doll, maybe I was a guest that day and attended their celebration” he joked, like he always did regarding your evident large too large age gap.

“very funny, sir,” you reply with a soft tug of your brows, “you were probably a lieutenant, busy charming civilian girls”

“was busy saving the country, you mean, little lady” he retorts, filling the space of your hips with his hands and pulling you in. You had john promise you that when closing, the radio would be the last thing to be turned off, just to create a cozy, dreamy atmosphere in the dimly lit space.

“when are you gonna ask me to marry you, daddy?”

john almost stumbles on in own tracks. His arm securely slides further around your lower back, pulls you closer to him until he envelopes your tiny waist completely, a hungry expression that you usually only see when he’s laying you somewhere, spreading your thighs to accommodate him, when your whines echo softly to him, and replace the sounds of gunfire,

when he gazes his scarred fingers against your skin like a soldier crossing a landmine, when you feel soft on his hands, not heavy like his rifle.

or when he throws kisses like grenades into the trenches of your mouth.

“you wanna marry this old war dog, angel?” he mumbles lowly, his gaze softening into an half lidded expression, heavy with such an intense warmth and desire that you feel your knees weaken like vanilla pudding. “be wed to an old bastard in the army?”

“do you want to?” with the softest, most innocent voice, you bestow your doe, big doll eyes upon him, he doesn’t feel deserving of such a sight. “love me properly before God?”

“He already knows how I feel about you, princess” he mutters back, voice thickened with a rough edge, so deep and husky it almost sounds like a whisper that should belong to nightly affairs.

“mmh, but He’d want you to prove it,” you tickle his beard with your breath and your delicate voice, bottom lip trapped underneath your teeth — your pupils heart shaped, pouring out all the love you feel for him, you literally feel like one of those animated cartoon characters when they’re in love, heart beating out of their chest and eyes the color of and shape of big hearts.

your hand flattens on his chest, as he gently cradles you to the song’s rhythm, your feet standing on his boots, so that with every step, he takes you with him.

“is that what you want, a ring on your little finger? everyone calling you lady price? marry your fuckin’ sugar daddy?”

and he can feel how you shiver against him at the thought, thin sparks of excitement running down your lower back and shooting against his palm.

each note of the song seems to pull you closer, a quiet conversation between your hearts. His hand, steady yet tender, rests on the small of your back, guiding you with a slow, deliberate grace as the other one takes ahold of your own, too large and big compared to your hand.

john presses a kiss on your knuckles, his beard tickling the pearly, milky skin. Pretty hands, never had to carry a deadly weapon, never will.

“I can see myself fit the unconventionally too young wife pretty well , sir..a savior of the country marrying his sugar baby, I can also see that on the news” you giggle against him, resting your cheek on his hard, muscular chest.

he’s got a old body, you’ve got a old, romantic soul, he wants you all to himself, and since you are already his in every way possible, it wouldn’t hurt him or his pocket to just slip a ring on your finger.

#john price x f!reader #john price x female reader #price x female reader #captain price x female reader #john price #john price imagine #captain price x reader

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judasgot-it · 1 day ago

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lol, Hello!

You’re writing is truly one of a kind. I rarely make requests but I couldn’t help.

Can I request-

Hunting dog s/o who hides stuff between her breast? Like literally “oh is there a flash card needs to be in safe place until we reach the headquarters? Okay. *puts it between her boobs like it’s nothing*

Tecchou, Jouno, Tachihara plz?

I love you and your brilliant mind. Also, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to give reader rather massive honkers.

Scenario: Hiding things in your honka-donka's (Tecchou, Jouno, Tachihara)

Tecchou

The mission had been more casual, just an investigative part of what your daily job was.

These were more fun, at least for you - you had freedom to do whatever you want to people. Within legal reason, obviously.

Tecchou was not always the biggest fan. But it was either you go alone with Jouno, who you would not stop from torturing innocent people, or you go alone with Teruko, who you also would not stop from torturing people.

In fact, you only instigated them. Tecchou didn't say much, but his side eyes were enough for you to know his disproval.

Today though, you could see his joy. A near bounce in his step. After all, there was no torturing innocent people with him around. Maybe you would annoy them with your ability, but that was it.

So it left only the both of you together. Finding one man in a fancy suits and instruments. Because with your luck, they worked on the day of an Orchestra.

It left the both of you waiting just on the edge of the curtains, waiting for the end of the performance. After all, if this man saw that he was getting interrogated in the middle of his show then he would either run or mess up.

Tecchou would hate that. Appearntly he's a patron of the arts. How nice.

"Do you have his photo? I want to double check his identity,"

"Sure, it's here somewhere,"

Feeling in the space between your bra and boob, you pulled out a folded paper - so small it fit just between your finger tips like a cigarette.

It was a little warm, soft in the way paper gets on a humid day. You waved it to him, not thinking twice about it.

His hand didn't seem to move. You looked at it, where it was frozen in place by his side. Taking initiative, you picked up his hand, placing the now unfolded photo inside of it, giving him plenty of time to see it how he would like.

So slowly. Like he had lost frames in the movie he was animated in, he slowly brought the paper closer toward himself. His fingers barely touched it, still cupping it as if it were a small kitten of sorts.

"Are you...okay?"

Tecchou didn't seem that different, but his face was non committal. For once, you could tell he was thinking.

Strange. Maybe he knew this man.

It left the both of you in relative silence. A social kind, one that was broken only by the beautiful score played by the musicians around you. One that happened to be related to a terrorist - strange world.

"Do you keep things in your bra often?"

"Yea? It's free storage, dipshit. No one is gonna steal my wallet if it's in my tits,"

The logic was pretty simple. It's as if he had never experienced fighting a robber. Although he probably didn't, given he was the type to wear his uniform 24/7.

"Do all women do this?"

"...is this your first time seeing this?"

"I don't have boobs."

"That's a lie. You have a huge rack,"

His face flushed at that. It was small but noticeable - he always had a funny reaction to your jabs. You said he looked edible and he nearly giggled, which just wasn't a thing Tecchou did. It was kind of cute.

"Thank you." He said this with the stupid smile he had, one that was so small you could lie to yourself that it was even possible.

"Also to answer. No. I'm just blessed,"

"Blessed with what?"

His voice was laced with actual curiosity, but his face still stayed directly at your target. He was Lazer focused, and it gave you the chance to look at his ridiculous eyelashes. His jawline was a sin - he was so beautiful but instead joined the military.

"Huge honkers,"

"What?"

"Titties. Boobs,"

It was at this point he stopped acknowledging you. He was either done with your game or embarrassed that you were talking about your boobs so much. Probably the latter - you weren't teamed up often for a reason.

Then there was applause.

Tecchou moved ahead of you, not even waiting for the man to finish receiving what he had earned. You followed dumbly, since you unfortunately found that teasing Tecchou was more important than your job today. Oops.

Jouno

"Can you walk quieter?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Your chest is so loud. Hold it or something, it's so loud."

He looked peeved, as if your mere existence annoyed the hell out of him. Knowing Jouno, it most likely did. He was annoyed by the air molecules moving, typically. God forbid you breathe either.

"Why don't you hold them? Since it bothers you so much?"

The face he pulled made your day so much brighter. The joy you felt was only comparable to when you first received a black belt. His nose scrunched up, with his cheeks red in embarrassment.

Jouno was embarrassed. Like a man in a lingerie store.

Adorable.

"Pervert."

"You like it."

"Gross."

He walked ahead of you, shouldering the corner of the wall as he struggled to have his thoughts in order.

Just to be a little bit of a cunt, you strutted forward, making sure you had maximum bounce as you walked.

You could hear Jouno's footsteps fall back, just close enough for him to be considered part of the pair you both were. It wasn't as if his uniform didn't make it obvious, but the two of you were walking through closed hallways - he needed the key in order to enter them.

Not unless he pulled out his ability. He could, but he always saved his stupid "oh wow you can't cut through me at all" trick for the last minute.

"We're nearly there. You should get ready."

He jogged a few steps to catch up with you. He hit the back of your shoulder with his palm, looking away as if it were the wind.

"I am ready, asshole. I was born ready!"

"I don't think you are. You're walking like a stripper."

This was in the list of things Jouno says and you are left to question everything. The uptight and 'best hunting dog' Jouno.

He was a grown man but a lame one, there was no way he actually knew.

"...how the hell do you know that?"

His face was unchanging as you asked this. If he opened his eyelids you were sure that he would roll his eyes at you.

"I can tell by the way you walk. It's the same."

"Do you go to strip clubs often?"

A person passed by you. They didn't look like your guy, given this man was balding in his 40s and had a hunched-over shrimp-like back. But he gave you a look, the kind of judgment that came with bringing these topics out loud in public.

You smiled and waved back at him; as if you never said anything.

"That is not the topic of this conversation. Also, not your business."

"No I just have questions. Like, how the hell are you going to enjoy that? Can you hear my bra too?"

Another one you wanted to ask was when and where he even went to a strip club, but that sounded like you were too invested in his life. You're only coworkers anyway.

"I'm not telling you that,"

You grabbed his belt, keeping him walking right next to you. His body helped warm your fingers, starting to freeze from the strong AC in the building.

"I regret taking this mission now. I hope you get shot,"

His footsteps were longer than yours. Not by much, but you had to force yourself to walk just a little faster so you could keep your hold on him.

"Give me the key."

His hand was grabby, not even bothering to look back at you as he stared uselessly at the keypad and lock.

"I can just do it for you." Jouno turned back and gave you a look. His shoulders were rolled back, making him appear taller as he looked down at you. Fucker.

"No. You should stand back, you suck at blocking bullets."

"Nuh-uh."

"Just give me the key."

Sighing, you pulled back your shirt and searched inside of your bra. You knew exactly where it was, hiding underneath one of your tits and squeezing the little plastic corners into your skin. But there was the natural sweat that built up from having something so large on your chest, making you have to move your hands around your chest slower than it really should be.

You handed the card to him, feeling how his fingers were rather cool in comparison to the card.

Jouno didn't even acknowledge it. His face had scrunched a little, breaking the shield he kept up there for so long.

It didn't matter anymore though. He was close to opening the door, and you only had to step back and give support. You could harass Jouno later.

Tachihara

"Y/n. I need you to put this in a safe place,"

You hadn't worked one-on-one with Tachihara in forever. You missed him a lot - in the time he had been on a secret mission to infiltrate a child trafficking group, you had learned that his presence meant more to you than you had initially thought.

"I know this is weird to ask, but I trust you."

He put a Solid State drive into your hands - it had a sticker on it, only stating a date from a few months ago. When he originally entered the gang, you assume.

"Can I ask what it is?"

"It's from my mission. I found a lot more than we anticipated."

What the hell can he find more when it comes to child traffickers? They were basically doing the worst a person could do.

It made you a little terrified of the contents, honestly.

"So after this do you want to give it to Fukuchi or.."

"Yeah. Or we can all look over it together. It's awful stuff, so I need to make sure that it gets back to HQ safely."

Great way to make you even more terrified of what was inside.

"Why didn't you bring it back when you left?"

Seriously. This was unnecessarily complicated. Tachihara was the type of man to take precautions but this was kinda annoying.

"I hid it behind a baseboard here. They have an ability user who basically has x-ray vision. So I didn't want to take any chances until he was gone."

"Is that the guy Teruko is fighting?"

You both could hear her laughing somewhere in the building. There were also screams of pain and thudding sounds with no real pattern. She definitely got him subdued, you were sure.

"Yeah. Just put it somewhere it won't fall out. Or would be hard to reach. I trust you more than myself."

"You'll be fine."

Rolling your eyes, you unbuttoned the top of your shirt, just until you could see your bra. You made sure to put it as close to your body as possible, so it wouldn't fall out or be destroyed. Hiding it underneath your boobs added extra protection anyway - if you got punched in the chest. it would still be safe.

"What are you doing."

"Isn't it obvious? I'm putting it in my bra."

It felt a little uncomfortable having it on your skin, and it kept trying stab you by making the wire in your bra scratch your ribs. You regret wearing this one, because now you kept trying to adjust everything so you didn't have to feel that annoyance.

"...I can almost see your nipple."

"You shower naked with the rest of the guys. Is one nipslip going to kill you?"

You started to button your shirt back up, deciding that you had done good enough of a job. You would just have to ignore it.

"That's different! We don't even look at each other."

His face was red, hiding behind his fingers as he tried to look anywhere else but you.

"Then look away."

With that, you patted his chest, heading back to your mission. Whatever was on the drive could be shown to you later, but right now, you needed stab some people with the sword that kept slapping against your thigh.

Sorry for this both being late and for it rather being short. I'm trying to write more, so hopefully I'll be posting more. The end image is relevant I promise.

#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #tecchou x reader #jouno x reader #tetcho x reader #tecchou x you #tachihara x reader #tachihara michizou x reader #tachihara x you #tachihara x y/n #jouno x you #jouno x y/n

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goingtojohnkramershouseee · 3 days ago

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could u do a fluff fic with either matt or chris where they see best friend!reader is drunk at a party (maybe she’s overly flirty and clingy) and they take her home, it’s one if my favorite tropes

Thanks so much for the recommendation I absolutely love this idea!! Also, this is my first time writing fluff and only my second time ever writing so please let me know what I can improve on:) love you allll :D

warnings!!! drunk!reader, comforting!matt, mentions of alcohol, mentions of w33d, mentions of vomit.

It was a Friday night, you were drunk, stoned, and felt like you were floating on a cloud. You were out with your two best friend's matt and Chris, trying to get them out of the house to live a little. Matt and Chris watch as you flirt with a guy who's getting a little to touchy. "I don't like that guy y/n is talking to, he gives me weird vibes". Matt said to Chris while leaning on a counter sipping his root beer, carefully examining the way the guy touched your shiny skin and the way you absolutely loved it.

"Hm, I think She's good, she knows how to handle herself". Matt did not like the way Chris was handling this; he puts down his cup and starts to walk over to you. "Yo matt she's g-" matts already gone by the time Chris gets to finish his sentence. "Hey y/n its getting late we should y'know head out." You look at matt with puppy dog eyes as the guy y/n is talking to steps closer to matt. "Hm and uh who are you?" Matt looks at the tall blonde-haired man and says, "I'm her brother and she needs to get home Shes got finals tomorrow and actually should be studying right now". Matt lied he didn't want this guy to fuck with you and a little white lie didn't hurt anyone. "What no I don-", matt grabbed your wrist, “say goodbye to your friend y/n”matt said looking at Chris as he started to make his way over to see how he was handling this.

Y/n says goodbye and soon walks out of the party with matt and Chris by her sides "why did you say that matt, I was having a good ti-" you cut yourself off with vomit falling out of your mouth the second matt opens the car door for you. '"Oh shit, you good?", matt looks over at Chris judging him by what he just said "Stfu Chris n' get in the car". Matt pulls your hair out of the way and holds it back as you throw up in the ditch Infront of his car. “You got it, you're okay sweetheart”, Matt Coes as he rubs your back trying to let you know he’s there for you. “I’m so sorry Matt, I-I didn’t mean too”. “Shhhh, it’s okay you didn’t do anything wrong let’s get you home". Matt puts you in the front seat of his car while Chris sits in the back slowly falling asleep.

They soon get back your home, and Matt gets out the Car to open your door. You were asleep, Matt trying not to wake you carefully picked you up and brought you inside. You slowly shift in matts arms as he makes his way to your bedroom. You let out an aggravative groan as matt sets you down on your bed carefully taking off your heels. "ughm, matt m'tired" you whine out as matt looks up at you and speaks, "It'll only be a little longer than you can go to bed". He soon gets both your heels off. "Do you wanna sleep in your dress or are you gonna change." "Can you just take my dress off and get me a hoodie or something."

Matt nods and makes his way over to your closet and grabs the first hoodie he saw and made his way back over to you. He carefully took off your dress trying to not make you uncomfortable or feel awkward. He soon puts the hoodie on you. Before matt could say anything, you were already asleep and snoring. He lets out a small laugh and kisses your forehead right before he left your room." She good?" Chris asks once matt gets back to the car. "Yeah, she should be fine until she wakes up tomorrow and she's hungover". They both share an exchange laugh and then make their way home.

an: Omg I'm so so sorry this took so long for it to not even be good. But please let me know what you guys want me to do next and if there is anything I can improve on!!! LUV U ALLLLL:D

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x reader #matt stuniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo fanfic

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gyaruguy111 · 21 hours ago

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Gravity Falls Rant #1 Ft. The Pines twins! 😀😀😀😀 (They make me violently ill).

Thinking about the Pines twins is actually like chewing your way through wires only to see a guinea pig playset and more confusing wires. The somewhat beginning of their thirty year-long no-contact session was because of a book, a request, and a whole lot of longing. To Stan the book was partially what kept his brother from him besides himself and now it was all he had to bring his brother back. To Ford the book was the only way to save the world and he was entrusting it to his brother only to be let down.

Growing up as the Pines twins was rough. Ford was a trophy for his father but people don't sit their trophies on the couch with them and talk to them like people. Trophies are made for polishing and shelves and a ton of showing off. And no matter how big the trophy is it isn't big enough or worth enough. Ford was smart. He knew he was smart but it wasn't enough. Because if it were enough he would already have the answers and already have solved the problem. He couldn't see himself as good enough so how could Stan be? This man, his brother, that his father, the person that made him the brainiac better brother saw as worse than him being good enough? No. No he loves Stan but no. How could Stan be? How could anyone be? Even when he saw Dipper as an apprentice, Dipper needed improving, Dipper needed to change parts of his mindset to become enough. Ford was ruined by his father and ruined by Bill and ruined by the shelf he was forced to sit on. He was selfish in his own way, he was more shiny golden plaque with a pencil behind his ear than man by the time Bill got to him wasn't he? He pushed his brother away before Bill. Yes, that's true. He doesn't trust people. Yes, that's also true. In his eyes he trusted his brother to save the world from his crazy evil ex 2d creep boyfriend that wants to destroy his dimension and plenty more where that came from. And because he trusted him it all went bad. He got trapped in a portal and the crook that did it to him stole his identity, his titles, his degrees, and scuffed it in the mud. There's no excusing what they both did to each other but there are causes and there are reactions.

And when it comes to Stan yeah he's money crazy probably because his father messed him up too. The twins' father saw them as investments and money pouring into his pocket. Ford could buy him his ticket to retirement and own his own private bank with his smarts but what could Stan do? How much does being put out on the lawn with a for sale sign for only three bucks or more with your title being "other Stan" do to you? He needed money, he needed to become an investment somehow. Gambling for quick bucks? Yes, that's it! He was a dog but not man’s best friend. Maybe it would be enough but it would go on to haunt him for the rest of his life. By the time he came into money he had taken his brother's name, identity, house, and what else was left for him besides his mountain of debt? Who really made the money when his name wasn't his name, him or Ford? He needs a lot of cash to rebuild and fix up that portal anyways. Maybe his mother and the IRS agent could forgive what he's done, although his mother has always been an OG, enough to go to his fake funeral but could he forgive himself? Forgive himself for what he took and took and took and took? For what strange person he sees in the mirror with dimes between its teeth?

And yes he's selfish and seemingly only does things for his own benefit but imagine being trusted by one person, his brother, and one person only to do something right. Their father trusted Stan alright but he only trusted him to screw up and be the "other brother" yes the second Stan, the never Ford Stan. Imagine being trusted for once, trusted, by someone to even save the world possibly. And instead of saving the world you accidentally push that person into a portal and don't see them for the next thirty years. How is Stan supposed to trust himself to do anything right for anyone after that? He's greedy, but is he greedy for wanting his brother back knowing he's the reason he wants him back in the first place? He knows he did wrong but he just wants his brother. The world has taken every bit of dignity he wishes he had but his brother has to be off limits! At least according to him, the self sabotaging screw up. The look Ford gives him sure makes him feel like he's a greedy screw up. He's wearing the skin of the person he lost because of his own actions who saw him as a con artist and the suit of the man that didn't want him from the get-go who saw him as a cheap one trick pony.

When Ford saw his brother he saw his father. The person Stan and Ford were molded by and ruined by. This man was the wack job Bill probably wanted to turn him into meddling around up there. And he was wearing his name? Stan did a lot but to take Ford’s name? To turn Ford into this? Into what he was sculpted opposite from? Why? How? How could he forgive him for this after just getting out of the other dimension? He was a future hero! How could Stan make a future hero look so lame! And not only that, he'd remembered his brother being a loving but corny cheapskate with a sly tongue and a bit of scamming under his boots. Now that's the exact person he wants to get away from. Because that's who Bill was. Stan didn't want to be his father but maybe being his father would make him proud? Ford wanted to be good for their father. Maybe if Stan became their father Ford would turn to him and they could laugh for a while and only a while. Maybe that's a stretch but we can over-analyze and never stop with their dynamics.

They both pushed the people they cared about away. And they both want things out of each other that in their minds they'll probably never get from a brick wall. They're both greedy for things they feel deep down they'll never reach because of what the people around them made them out to be. Stan, being greedy for money if that's all you know him for. And Ford being greedy for the role of hero.

When Bill tried to call Stan and tell him Ford was going to end his life and leave him all alone to his BS? And to say that Ford never loved him in Ford's own body? Ford felt his heart drop for a minute until he noticed that the message hadn't been sent. He has things against his brother but to tell him that? To tell him he never loved him? No. Bill taught him to trust no one and in the other dimension he might've tried to hammer it into his brain but he couldn't. There was a brother shaped hole where his heart was and his six fingers couldn't crack the code on how to get rid of it. To Ford his trust was his love. He loved his brother but could he trust his brother now? Could he trust anyone now? Who knows. It's all over and there's a boat to sail at the end of it all. With his brother.

They're brothers. And it's messy but that's it. They're brothers.

There's obviously so much you could say about what Bill did to Ford mentally and a lot about the positive aspects having their mother around and not just their father and yada yada their father isn't their only trauma but isn't the home where it all begins?

Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED talk!

"💣×%$ ⚡️ @$$💀 ⛵️?? 💣×&#💣 ×** ×*?💀🌪"

"*?%$ !× @&?"

#gravity falls #gravity falls fandom #rant #rant post #hyperfixation #hyperfixations #grunkle stan #grunkle ford #stanley pines #stanford pines #can you tell that I'm an only child?#they make me violently ill #that's it

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duchessonfire · 1 day ago

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Savior Carl!AU re-read Part 1 Chapter 1

In honor of the Savior Carl!AU celebrating its fourth birthday this week (on Thursday 9th to be precise), I'm re-reading the whole series with a running commentary for anyone who might be interested in it. If you're not interested and don't want to have your dashboard spammed, you can block the tags Duchess reads and Savior Carl AU reread.

Commentary for Part 1, Ch 1 below the cut (spoilers for part 1 ahead):

First of all, it always blows my mind that I never realized the first thing Negan says to Carl in the Savior AU is... that he finds Carl hot. I wish I was kidding but this is literally what Negan says to Shane when he offers himself and Carl as Saviors:

"Hey, no offense, big guy. That's a good looking kid you have here, must take after his mama, that's all."

Like... That man noticed Carl the second he laid eyes on him. Iconic. And as if that wasn't enough, Negan throws in another compliment about Carl's eyes:

"Same goes for you, kid, if you don't want Lucille to bash your head in, eyes first. She likes ‘em baby blues, and you're just her favorite shade."

Jesus, Negan, just go down on one knee and propose, why don't you.

Something that's also hitting me as I'm re-reading the chapter is how frayed Carl and Shane's relationship already is when the story starts:

As Carl lies on his bare mattress in the Saviors' compound, Shane sleeping soundlessly on the bed, he reminds himself that it all rests on him. Shane is a gun always ready to go off. As long as Carl can point him in the right direction, it can all be alright. It has to be.

Shane lets Carl sleep on a bare mattress on the floor like a dog at his feet, while Carl thinks of Shane as a weapon he can use for his own survival. They are both dehumanizing the other, seeing the other as a mere tool. Shane's death at the end of part 1 was inevitable and all the elements for it are foreshadowed from the beginning:

Suddenly, Carl doesn't just long for his gun, he longs for a knife. A machete. A hatchet. This is the man who killed Abraham. This is the man who killed Glenn. Suddenly, he longs for a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire.

It's especially telling that Carl already wants to wield the bat (even if here he's thinking about killing Negan with it). I think it's Chandler Riggs who mentioned in an interview that when Carl sees the Sanctuary for the first time with Negan, part of him is attracted by the power Negan has. This is very much present here. Carl already wants *to be* Negan here, to have the same power he has, to be able to inflict pain and vengeful retribution the same way Negan did in the clearing.

Okay but now that we've talked about Negan's first words to Carl, we need to talk about Carl's first words to Negan:

After spending all day being shown around the Sanctuary, after being fed and brought to a cozy room with a kitchen area and a comfy bed, Carl feels the sudden need to correct him. "He's not really my dad."

AKA, "Should you want to be my new daddy, just know that this slot if available" lmao

Okay no, but for real, this is especially interesting that Carl's first words to Negan are used to distanciate himself from Shane. This is due to what happened at the clearing. Shane was humiliated, brought low on his knees, submitted by a more powerful Alpha male. And here, this is Carl distanciating himself from Shane's defeat. In my mind, Carl is a sub craving male authority and power. He needs to be by the side of the most powerful man around, it's how he feels safe and protected in the apocalypse. He needs to be under the wing of someone stronger to protect himself and baby Lori. Until the clearing, this used to be Shane. But the second Negan entered the picture and made Shane kneel, Carl's allegiances shifted, whether or not he's aware of it. This moment is Carl sending Negan a very important subtext: "We both know Shane lost, and I need you to know I'm not like him, I'm not a loser." This Carl is a savage and I love him forever.

"Then why in the hell are you calling him that? Fuck, wait, tell me this ain't some kinky baby/daddy shit. A few of my wives call me that and I'd really like to be able to get laid without thinking about Shane's ugly mug while I'm balls deep in pussy."

Right, Negan, because that's the most logical explanation and the first one your brain should arrive at. It's for sure not related to the fact that you think the kid is hot. This being the first thing that comes to mind is no doubt purely a coincidence and not at all fueled by your already raging lust for him. God, he was probably thinking about tumbling Carl on the bed right here and then in Carl's new room.

Back on a more serious note, it blows my mind how much foreshadowing there is in chapter 1 (yes, I know I wrote it, but sometimes I realize something is foreshadowing *after* writing it):

“I’m not leaving you alone with these people,” Shane says darkly once she’s closed the door and her footsteps have receded down the hallway. “They’re trying to split us up. Weaken us. We won’t let them.”

This is almost prophetic. Shane knew exactly what Negan would try to do because it's what *he* would do. Divide and conquer. But Shane here is only thinking in physical terms: separating Carl from him physically so the Saviors have them isolated and can easily be overpowered. He didn't realize Negan would be driving a wedge between them by connecting with Carl. And by the time he did, it was too late to stop it from happening.

Conclusion; tldr: I really like this chapter. It's short, compact, non-linear, and yet everything is already here. The frayed relationship between Shane and Carl, Negan's interest in Carl, Carl's interest in Negan, Carl's utter loyalty for his little sister and no one else's. My favorite thing, though, has to be the ending with the boat. I'm really really happy that I thought of taking this element that was part of Rick and Aaron's storyline and that I managed to use it as a test of loyalty for Negan to put Carl and Shane through. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm proud of myself on this one. I love playing with canon and reusing it in a different way.

Also, I mentioned in my 2024 fic wrap Tumblr post that when I first posted this story on AO3, the engagement with it was very low and the Cegan fandom was pretty much dead. To give you an idea, I posted chapter 1 on January 9th and didn't receive a comment until January 14th. The second comment was posted almost a month later in early February (by no one other than the wonderful @reallygreatblogname222!!). It took me a month to get 2 comments on this fic and I didn't get another one until June, 6 months after posting. As discouraging as it can be to write a fic with very low engagement, always remember to find the joy in your own writing and to persevere regardless of what sort of feedback you get on it. 4 years later, Part 1 has over 900 kudos and 151 comments. None of it would have been possible if I had let myself be discouraged and stopped posting before finishing the story. It takes time to build a community but know that your people will find you eventually <3

PS: boy did I love commas back then. I'm cleaning them up as I re-read the chapter but, wow, 2021 Duchess, ease up on the punctuation.

You can find the commentary for chapter 2 here.

#duchess reads #savior carl AU reread #carl grimes #negan smith #twd #cegan #cegan fic #shane walsh

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tf2occontest · 1 day ago

Text

Matchstick VS {The Observer}{Koa Leilani Lopez}

(Full matchup list here)

Alright team, here's a recap: This is a contest to determine who amongst you will take the top of the leaderboards and be hired at TFI! Simply put, whoever gets the most votes gets to move on, and whoever doesn't... Well. They'll be put down swiftly and cleanly. :}

So, mann your stations, because here are your next contestants! Vote for your favorite mercenary who you want to win the TF2 OC Contest! - P

OC INFO UNDER THE CUT!

We highly encourage you to take a peek to make your decision!

Matchstick

@bennykinnie

Image credit: @/bennykinnie

Matchsticks a fun lovable little pyro, is their tail real? Does it belong to a dog or a cat? That much we don't know. What they do love more than setting things on fire is stickers and a good game of cat and mouse! They love interacting with their fellow merc but more specifically soldiers. who wouldn't love gluing googly eyes to a mans helmet?

{The Observer}{Koa Leilani Lopez}

@yourfavoritecuntist

Image credit: @/yourfavoritecuntist

While not his class name, my OC goes by the name “4eyes” due to his facial abnormality of having, well, as you can see from the image, 4 eyes. He grew up in Oahu with his family. When he was 11 and his little sister was 6, someone tried to kidnap them both on Halloween night. 4eyes was damn good at fighting for an 11 year old and killed the kidnapper. When he got older, he started getting into cameras and photography. It was his specialty, even. So when a job offer opens up for a company that needs a surveillance guy and a fighter, he takes it.

#tf2occontest2024 #poll #round 1 #matchstick #the observer #bennykinnie #yourfavoritecuntist

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anikabooker · 2 days ago

Text

Their eyes lingered on the same piece of evidence planted there to answer the questions they both had. That stupid mark. It was faded, and old but Anika has never seen a man with such a mark, and no heart beat to match the vibrant pulse of magic beneath the ink. She'd never seen a man, who had sworn to kill all that is monstrous and end up being on the other end of that stake. There was nothing more pathetic, than wearing that mark and hide in the shadows, fearful of the light of day like something cursed, like a beast damned to roam the darkest parts of the world; like a rat in an underground sewer. If there was one wise choice, a man in his position could've made (should've made), it would be to cease existing. Because he surely couldn't call that existing, could he?

She wanted the ache to go somewhere else; her face, or her hands, or her stomach. Anywhere else but the hollow spot in her chest, where pain was only louder, and louder, almost deafening with each word he said. He was right — they had spent months in this apartment, where she awoke when he dreamt, and he walked when she was counting the stains on her ceiling. Two worlds with no way of colliding. They only crossed paths outside the bathroom, or in line for the fridge, where quiet complaints fell on unbothered ears. Shoulders lifting in casual shrugs at mundane questions asked, and eyes never lingering long enough to remember the color that stained the other's hues. Anika never cared to know more, to feel more — it was enough to know he wore the mark. She could always kill him, if he tried to pull anything funny. When did things slipped out of her control? Gradually and then suddenly, the way seasons changed right outside their window. From freezing winter, to a scorching summer.

And in the first warm rays of summer, she no longer gave a damn about the mark.

So what was he accusing her of? Having a heart or being a shitty hunter? Both? Maybe, because one did lead to the other. Difference was, she never claimed to be a good hunter. She never aimed to be something better, something great — it was all about survival. Sometimes, it wasn't even about that, because most times she wished she had not survived as long as she had. She'd never pride herself on possessing some sort of extraordinary talent for killing monsters. No, she was simply a good conman. Terrific liar. A survivalist. She was brave — unlike him. The coward that chose to live life like a cockroach, instead of dying with the last shreds of dignity and honor left.

"And you cannot fucking tell me you let someone do this to you. You cannot fucking tell me you chose to live like this." she spoke back; fist in her throat, bile in her stomach. I'm going to be fucking sick. "What kind of a fucking hunter were you, huh? Smarter, I bet, to die like a fucking dog." At least she was still alive. In all her stupidity — for every foolish crack of her ribs that allowed him further into her, she was still a living, breathing thing.

A different kind of beast.

Anika was used to goodbyes spoken too soon, because love and grief went hand in hand for her. Every fond thing she's ever known had been ripped away; gone in every possible way, gone or twisted to a point where it was no longer recognizable. Her eyes lifted to meet his; to watch him shatter. "Yeah, I'm not my father."

The bullet she fired aimed for the left side of his chest. Anika was good with a gun. There was a boy once, at a training ground, far away from home (in the middle of fucking nowhere) that taught her how to aim for the heart. She barely knew how to hold a weapon back then; always been good with knives, but never a gun. Of course, she had seen one, her father being in the military had many at home. Yet, she never could've imagined that she'd ever use one. Her hand shook to an almost embarrassing extend, and she remembered vividly that he did laugh because, it was quite clear that seventeen year old girl would not survive a day in his world.

But she took his advice, and everyone else's that passed through her life like unwanted guests. And built herself up to withstand the cruelty and the viciousness of the world they lived in now.

She was a good shot. It was exactly why the bullet, when colliding with his chest, missed his heart by a mare centimeter. It would still hurt like a motherfucker, and she did want him to hurt, she did want him to scream in agony, writhe on the floor in excruciating pain. Just to prove that he was nothing — prove that there was nothing in her for him, that there was nothing she would do to spare him.

He falls quiet when she seethes, that finger squeezes on the trigger; he sees the fractal movement right before he feels the cutting sting of a bullet splitting the skin of his hand wide open. Reid curses under his breath, forcing himself forward instead of back — though, the sunlight over a verbena-smeared hand has little in the way of pain comparison. He clasped the side of the wound, drawing it towards him, the fingers shaking with the pain as his skin slowly struggled to heal.

"Anika, what the fuck," It's an instinct that has his teeth gritting together. He's looking for something from the ground, ignorant to the idea she's still got bullets left in that pistol. Oh fucking shoot me, Booker. It's a long-drawn-out thing of silences and looks that he can no longer decipher. Reid had thought he'd become so good at learning the language of Anika. Turns out, he doesn't know a dime about this. And when he finds her t-shirt, it's so he can tear it (she's wearing his) and use a strip of fabric to wrap around the glaring hole that's so neatly almost centre to his palm.

He doesn't know what the hell she's playing at. But it's sobering, suddenly. To physically bleed; droplets daubing the carpet at his feet. Halstead starts to realise he'll never get his answer. She's entirely lost it, or regret in Anika Booker's deck of cards looks a lot like an episode from a psychotic ex.

She hasn't killed him if that were her plan. She's had a hundred chances; the last one, a gun aimed point blank at the emptiness in his chest. If she could open him up like that, before he'd be dust, she'd see how vicious he haemorrhages in there. He's more alive inside for the first time, in the turmoil of grief than she'll ever get to know. It's a painted picture all over his features (the kind an artist might appreciate), the shock and despair of it all.

He's still tending to his hand when she's slamming open the fridge and clattering metal cans around. A frown knits together, breathing a laugh of disbelief. He's no longer sure who has lost it. Him or her, or both. Maybe she's poisoned him and he's on his way out, the slow, agonising way. It sure feels like it. The can in her hand is an odd sight, but it's not shocking. There's always been canned animal blood in there, a butcher helped him with that, a little while later; not without a price.

"Obviously—" It's hissed, as he ties the knot of fabric around his hand, flexing his fingers as he turned to duck beneath the suddenly launched can. It smacks against the wall to his rear, spraying red across his back, the sofa and the walls. "Jesus, what is wrong —"

She's snarking at him, that gun back — poised.

He really isn't sure who has lost their mind. Any memory of gentle, lusting touches is gone. Ripped out of him and replaced with a nauseating confusion that he's way too slow to puzzle into place. His good hand is outstretched in one final bout, to urge her to stop firing bullets at him. Or at least, to stop tormenting him with painful injuries. Just end it, if that's her intention. Anika's never been a gamesmaster.

"A joke— I —" He cuts himself off when his eyes look at the brotherhood tattoo on his hand, the thing held out between them. The faded, magicless stain forever reminds him of what he's lost. Reid's streak of losing things is unmatched. But there's no way she —

"You're telling me you didn't know?" It's accusatory, a lot colder where pain seems to get caught in his throat at the stupidity that would be. "You — Anika, you've been living with me for months, you're a damn hunter," All those compliments he's ever served her for hunterhood seem null and void now. "You're fucking with me. You cannot stand there and tell me you didn't fucking know." She has to be, because what else is there? It's a lie. It's all a lie. Because Anika cannot be that stupid. Not that much of a terrible hunter to fail to notice the blood in the fridge, or the curtains drawn, or the night job — or the surviving being stabbed, or Book's damn apprehensions. This isn't drunken idiocy.

Reid's unfairly annoyed by the revelation — because he feels foolish too, to think for even a second she might have looked at him as someone, and not a monster. But, that doesn't mean anything either, because she wasn't looking past the vampire to see a man; she was looking at what she thought was something else; something alive. He's pissed enough, that even if his softness remains in his stillness, he nods his head towards her cocked weapon:

"Your father hesitated too."

#c: reid #event: halloween #tw: blood #tw: violence

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