#the discovery of a world inside the moon

[fartcloudfartcloud]

Logan Howlett x Squirter!Reader

oneshot (4.5k words) - You know how to make yourself squirt, but its no easy process. You just accepted your reality of it only happening once in a blue moon and only when you were alone. Maybe Logan can prove you wrong. pairing - logan howlett (xmen) x f!reader tags -first time sex, oral/fingering f recieving, lots of princess, baby, sweetheart, lots of logans filthy (and whiny) mouth, one swift bite, reader has boobs and a vagina and pullable hair, nondescript body other then a few thigh/hip descriptions, squirting obvi, lots of wet everywhere, lots of praise and begging from both parties, logan will not shut up

SEND ME REQUESTS AND SHIT!!!! I WANNA KEEP WRITING!!! GIVE ME IDEAS IM THIRSTY IM HUNGRY RAAAHHHG

this is self indulgent as shit and I havent written a fic and actually posted it since i was like 15 but that fic by @silverskyeline had me inspired because I may or may not be a squirter and i needed to write it for myself. i feel like this is kinda ass butt but i tried my best and i hope its bearable :)

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..

The first time it happened, it caught you off guard. 

 Finding yourself alone in your home with some down time, you'd sat in your office chair, legs propped up on either side of the wood and headphones slipped over your ears as you scrolled through your options, clicking the first link that piqued your interest. It was how you preferred to masturbate these days, a deep voiced man slowly working you through it, your hands a mirror image of how the man describes his methods of pleasure through your headphones.  

It doesn’t take long before you’re lost in it, 13 minutes into the 24-minute audio and you've got one hand plowing your favorite dildo in and out in long, deep thrusts, angled exactly how you need it. the tip catches against your cervix and thumps up against your g spot in one fluid movement, your head thrown back in breathless euphoria. The voice switches between each ear, alternating as it groans praise and direction between its moans of pleasure. You’re choking on the feeling of it all, moans coming out in hiccups and cries as you desperately try to maintain some dignity. The voice slips into a gravely come on baby, rub that clit while I fuck you, cum on this cock sweetheart and suddenly your other hand joins the mix, sloppily rubbing circles into your drenched bud. The combo of the two motions, drilling yourself in mind numbing strokes with your one hand while your other sneaks down and rubs your clit, isn’t one you explore often.  

But God is it fucking good. 

In a flash your vision is white, it all hits you just as the voice in your ear instructs you. It’s all too much and good lord he starts counting down from 3, and somehow just as he’s growling one, baby cum for me, cum on this fucking dick, your back is arching, and your legs are shaking. Even with your head back and eyes rolled you could feel how sloppy you had gotten, drenched all the way up to you palm and wrist now. The sound was *filthy*, the audible noise of the floor beneath you getting drenched, your desperate gasps and attempts to stay quiet through the torment, and the sloppy plap… plap… of the toy inside you slowly coming to a halt.

That day your eyes were opened to a whole new world. It wasn’t easy, though, and it didn’t happen like it did in porn. Instead of a stream shooting out of you like a hose, it was more of a spray that splashed out with each thrust, and it only happened when you were splayed on your back like that pleasuring yourself exactly in that matter. You never considered yourself a squirter, per say. But it was a fun thing to brag about every now and then.  

it stayed something that happened between you and your toy, though. the one or two flings you'd had since the discovery never getting anywhere near the space or level of relaxation, you’d need to be in to make it happen, and you just accepted it to be something only you could only do on rare occasions alone in your bedroom. 

That was until Logan came along.  

The last thing you'd choose to describe Logan as a man was patient. He was short tempered and snippy, his first day in the mansion it seemed like his mission to piss everyone he saw off. But when he met you, he suddenly softened. When he told you were lucky you were pretty the first time you spoke, he meant it, not only suddenly capable of holding his tongue but speaking with a slowed assurance as he watched you. It wasn't a surprise to anyone when he quickly weaseled his way into your bed.  

Although maybe you'd bragged to a friend or two once it happened, you never thought to alert Logan of your talent. As stated, patience wasn’t exactly any term to describe Logan with, and you knew it wasn’t easy in the first place, so the thought never even crossed your mind. 

That was until he hovered over you, hands expertly holding your face and neck as he passionately locked his lips with yours.  

The way Logan kissed was suffocating, his big hands holding you in place as he mapped every inch of your mouth, huffing to himself every time a string of saliva or a well-timed lick would make you whimper. He hadn't done anything but sit down and kiss you and you were already overwhelmed by him.

He pulled away to stare at you intensely, memorizing every bit of the filthy frame in front of him. He had you laid out underneath him, your pretty eyes blown out and wide, looking up at him as if he was your world, your hands needily grabbing at his tank top.  

"Please Logan," you whimper, leaky eyes never leaving his for even a moment.  

"I haven't even done anything yet, and you're already begging," he teased as he lifted your chin up to start gently laying kisses down it. You keep a hold of his forearms as he leaves wet pink spots all the way down to where your top lies, grounding yourself in his warmth as he sends shivers down your spine. He stops, grumbling at the article of clothing stopping him from devouring you. 

"Use your big boy words," you tease with a smirk, pushing your chest towards him and sensually touching his chest and collarbone. Instead of using said big boy words, he growled a deep "Off." as he flicked at the silky bow nestled against your breasts.

You sigh, your efforts for null.

"I'd ask you to just rip it off, but this is vintage," you pout as you make a show of lifting off the fabric. He raised an eyebrow, half his mind shocked at the way you tease him so effortlessly, the other half wrecked by your suggestion, an image of him pouncing on you and ripping the beautiful lac top off with his claws like an animal.

It started a fire in his stomach, one that was quickly ignited by the view of your breast's falling from the tops confines as you pulled it over your head. In his eyes, they fall in slow motion, each ripple sending shockwaves down his back as he watching them sway with your movement. 

Maybe the idea of ripping that pretty top off with his claws hit a little too close to home, because in a flash he's on you. He's pushing you back with a firm hand to the sternum, using it to hold you in place against the mattress as he desperately kisses down the side of your neck and to your sternum.

"Smell so fucking good," he huffs out as he kisses down your clavicle before latching his lips around your slowly hardening nipple. The feeling makes your back arch and your breath hitch, a combo that had Logan popping a sly grin between his kitten licks to your now stiff bud.  

"You say that all the time," you moan out breathlessly as he flicks his tongue. He pulls away with a pop, inching up to your ear and whispering into it.

"Sorry, let me correct myself," he leans down, sultry gaze inches from your face as he growls,

"She smells so fucking good," into your ear as he cups your mound through your shorts. You should've known in that moment you were cooked, stomach aching with how badly you needed him and hips instantly trying to buck into his wrist. He laughs at your attempt and pulls away his palm, much to your dismay. 

"Don't talk about what my vagina smells like," you giggle, hiding your red face from him,

"Why not? s' like peaches, sweetheart. wanna just split you open and-" he finishes his statement but tugging your head back and exposing the column of your throat, licking a long stripe from between your breast's all the way up and under your ear, his warm hand back cupping your mound and massaging the fat through your shorts.

Your breath is robbed as his mouth leaves a wet trail that cools in the air and send a shiver down your spine. Logans mouth latches back onto your erect nipples, this time your skin tingling and buzzing with sensitivity,

"shit- I need more baby, please," you plead helplessly as your hands roam over Logans shoulders and forearms, his mouth slowly working down your body with kisses and licks. 

"Need what, darling," he replies, his eyes flitting up to yours deviously. You don't respond, instead opting to roll your hips up against his, hoping he'd show mercy upon seeing your desperation. You should've known better. He pins your hips down, gripping the fat of your waist with a rough palm and letting out a displeased grunt as he teases you. 

 "Use your big girl words," he says with a smile, using your own words against you.

You desperately try to retaliate, your palms playfully smacking against his chest and legs kicking while you giggle and yelp,

"You can't- you fucker!" You pleade, before your limbs are quickly pinned down at your sides, your legs now pinned under his as his mouth is back at your ear, stopping you dead in your tracks as he growls. I takes a shaky deep breath, regaining his composure and savoring your smell before he speaks.   

"Just tell me what I want to hear so I can taste this fucking pussy, eh sweetheart? you're killing me here," his voice becoming almost whiny at the end as he grips at your hips and grinds his visibly strained bulge against your thigh. His words shoot a shiver to your core, his brazenness too much for your foggy mind,

"Please just fucking- eat me out Logan!" you whine, hips chasing his in a desperate chase for contact. He grips your face, palm rough and big holding you in place and making you gooey and submissive as he talks, 

"See? Was that so hard, bub?" he quirked with teasing grin before kissing your cheek and diving down to your hips. His arms wormed their way under your thighs, head popping up to admire the way your athletic shorts squeeze the fat of your thighs around his head. The tight shorts accentuated your curves, settling into the creases in your thighs and hips and sending a shiver down his spine as he traces his finger along the seam. 

Suddenly, Logan is biting you. If you asked him why, he's not sure he could tell you, but the spot just under your stomach where your thigh meets your hip looked too appetizing not to sink his teeth into. It's gentle and playful, he growls and shakes his head like a dog with a bone and it makes you squeal and swat at his back again. You tie your hands into his hair and pull him up, a big goofy grin on his face as he peers up at you through his thick lashes, clearly having no remorse for his actions as he licks his lips and teeth.

Jesus Christ hes so hot.

He swats your hands out of his hair, desperate and feral for the taste of you in his mouth. The man wastes no time sinking his face back down and into your thigh, hands gripping you firmer now, pinning you down as he growled and nestled your inner thigh with his stubble. He looks like a little kitty cat, headbutting you to coat you in his scent, fingers kneading and savoring the thick of your hips. 

"Just let me play with you how I want to baby," he whines, the lilt to his voice a little surprising. It feels like the longer you tease him, the whinier he gets. Interesting. 

You pat his hair in apology and scratch his scalp, his head now laying on your thigh as he strokes your stomach. “You can't bite me, Lo!” You giggle as you scold him. He props his chin up on your stomach and pays no mind to your scolding. "Shhh baby, just take these off," the man lazily orders from his spot on your tummy, just barely lifting his head enough to give you space to pull your shorts off. You wiggle out of them with no help from Logan. He’s much too busy taking in every inch of the scene in front of him, eyes glued to your hands as they reveal your lacy pink underwear barely an inch from his face. 

 He could drool with how bad he needs to taste you.  

You don't even get your shorts all the way off your ankle before he's pinning your hips down and raking your pretty pink panties to the side, latching his mouth over your mound and licking a thick firm stripe from the bottom of your slit all the way through to the tip of your clit. You gasp and grab at his shoulders, a slow “fuuuuck,” falling from your lips as he slowly tastes you. 

He’s completely enamored by you, your smell, your taste, the way your look, the way each muscle in your thighs flexes with just the one lick. You look so fucking good like this it makes him angry. 

"So fucking pretty," he spits, overwhelmed by his own rush of feelings settling in his stomach. He opts to ignore it by digging his face into you pussy, using his tongue to tease your clit slowly in circles before sliding over your glistening hole, savoring the way your slick tastes on his lips and tongue as he teases your entrance.  

"Shit-" it comes out desperate and whiny from your lips as you roll your hips into his face, his nose clipping your clit as he explores your slit. The sensation makes your heels dig into the bed and your eyes flutter back with a gasp, your hands pulling on strands of the man's hair. He teases you like this, switching between circling your clit and pushing softly through your slit till you've thoroughly soaked his face with a mixture of his spit and your slick.

He raises his head with a feral growl, looking as if he's pulling away from his feast as he spits on your clit and spreads it around with his fingers. He chuckles while you squirm, kissing your thigh where his pink bite mark stains it.  

"You ready, princess?" He asks, the nickname makes you shiver. You ignore his question and the implications of it, more focused on desperately trying to roll your pinned hips into his mouth, huffing with defeat as neither his hands nor your hips budge. He chuckles at your little tantrum, sitting up and peeling your damp panties away from your core. A soft kiss is delivered to your ankle before settling back into position between your legs. 

A chuckle and a shake of his head is all the warning you get before hes sealing his mouth around your clit and sucking, swirling and swiping his tongue around the bud while pinning you in place. It's different.

This time he's got the whole bud suctioned into his mouth, lips and tongue and pressured sucks all swirling it in an abusing pattern. The only sound heard in the room is his wet mouth on you, any attempts at making sound robbed from you as he lathes his filthy attack on you.

You gasp and squirm to no avail, his name dying on your tongue when you manage to catch a gulp of air, your head thrown back in a silent plea. His pace doesn't falter, he doesn't unstick himself from your clit for even a moment, doesn't switch between his tongue or fingers or where he uses them, just one consistent attack as he focuses every ounce of his attention on pleasuring you. it's precise, masterful, dare you say practiced even, in the way has drawing you up. You'd have half the mind to call him a name, call him some sort of whore for knowing the ins and outs of a woman's body so meticulously. Unfortunately for you, your mind is blank as he pulls away to swap his hold on you, instead using one arm to hold you across the stomach while his other ventures down to your opening. 

"Logan!" You gasp as he pulls off of you for the first time in what feels like ages, giving you a second to breathe and relax. Well, not relax per say, as Logan is underneath you giggling and gently caressing you from bottom to top.

"Gotta make sure it's all wet baby," he slurs, already pussydrunk as he spits onto your slit and rubs it all over. At this point you were dripping, probably all the way down your seam and onto to the bed if you had to guess, especially you combined with Logans sloppy mouth. The action was redundant, yet filthy none the less, and disgustingly sexy. You fall onto your back and cover your face, groaning and rolling your hips again as you catch your breath,  

"You're driving me fucking crazy, Logan," you whimper into the pillow. He’s laughing at you again, kissing just above your clit as he peeps out a tender, "I know baby." He uses his firm hands to massage your thighs, your hips, even using his knuckles down your arms until you've relaxed deep into the bed.

One last kiss is placed onto your thigh before he latches his mouth back over your slit, groaning and relaxing into you like he just took a big draw from a fresh cigar.

He had played you like a damn fiddle, his little break had your muscles relaxing and allowed some air back into your lungs, and now suddenly every movement feels 10x better.

You're hyper aware of every touch, the way his tongue circles your nub before roughly grinding down out it, milking moans from your lips with expertise. He hadn't even brought his fingers back down to your opening yet, still bare and leaking from moments ago when he left you high and dry, yet you were already past the point of no return. Your stomach was tightening, your hands desperately grabbing whatever they could find before deciding on hiding your face in the pillow, successfully concealing your moans and savoring your dignity.

Logan pulled away from your core with a pop, looking to see what had caused the noises he was savoring so sincerely to suddenly stop. He was not happy to see your face covered, not only blocking those pretty sounds but covering your orgasmic expressions too. 

“Uh-uh princess. Need to hear it all, and I wanna see those pretty eyes too,” He pleads, big hands coming up to pull your hands to the side and away from the pillows. He places both your wrists on your stomach, his one hand big enough to pin them both with little issue. 

He grumbles something about interruptin’ me as he dives back into your core. You can practically see his ears perk back up as he hears your beautiful noises again, his tongue going straight back to its mind-numbing circles. He finally gives you mercy and brings his free hand down, two thick fingers running up and down your slit, making sure they're thoroughly soaked in slick before he's pressing them in. The ridges of his thick fingers massage your walls as they're gently worked in and out in slow strokes, the sound and feeling of Logans mouth and hands combined serving to be absolutely pornographic, and your desperate moans doing little to help.

“Logan~” you gasp in delight as the pairing of the two sensations start to settle back into your core, every sensation elevated 20-fold. He’s so unrelenting with the motions of it all, hooking his fingers and pushing them up until it feels like he's stimulating your clit from both sides. You could practically see stars, languid moans turning into breathless gasps again, your hands flexing and twitching against their spot against your stomach, desperate to grab onto him or his hair or the sheets or anything.  

A filthy, “mph- hah! Just a- little more Logan!” eeks past your tense throat, your whole body overwhelmed with the feeling of him taking over every one of your senses.

“Come on princess, wanna see you cum for me,” He growls. it's so deep and attractive, and when he halts the stimulation to your clit to speak, he makes up for it by absolutely slamming his fingers into the soft spot on the roof of your pussy. You were lost, mind completely succumb to him, completely lost in the pleasure his giving you.

“Getting so tight around my fingers, baby. Just let it wash over you, don't think ‘bout nothing but how good im makin' you feel.” He moans breathlessly, having no clue what his words are doing to you. It's all too much, and before you realize it there's a familiar burn in your core, the sounds of his fingers getting louder and sloppier as more of your slick coats his fingers in an all too familiar feeling. You try to alert the man between your legs, try to tell him if he keeps fucking doing that with his fingers you're going to fucking ruin his sheets, but your pleas only serve to fuel him. 

 Your gasps and calls of his name do nothing to slow his motions, his biceps rippling as he doubles his efforts,

“Lo- fuck- im-!” your pleas come out in unintelligible gasps, not enough air in your lungs to beg anymore, the sounds of your arousal getting filthier and filthier. The crest up to your peak has you crying and squeezing Logans sideburns into the inner skin of your thighs, your whole body shaking as he works you to your breaking point, hands pulling and scratching just a little too hard as it all comes crumbling down. All you can hear is sloshing and wet sounds as your vision goes white.  

Your orgasm bulldozes you, your throat parched from how hard you're gasping for air, your limbs sore and twitching as his fingers and tongue work you through the aftershocks. It's all gentle touches and deep gasps of air as you slowly let the stars behind your eyes fade. 

You let out a long groan as you steadily come to, body paralyzed flat against the mattress, mustering up enough energy to lift your head and look down at the man of the hour. He’s removed himself from you and is sat up on his knees, the sight paired with the biggest shit eating grin you've ever seen spread across his face. His hair is tousled and falling over his forehead, his chin still dripping with evidence of your climax. His chin and his hands. And down his neck. And all over his T-shirt, the white neckline of his tank now completely transparent. 

“Shit-” is all you can say as you see what's happened, hand coming up to cover your face, apologizing to Logan as you scramble up.

“Fuck, let me get a towel logan I'm sor-” “woah woah woah where do you think you're going?” he interrogates as he lays a hand against your chest, stopping you in your tracks and looking at you softly, 

 “Your soaked Logan, I- I didn't- should've told you, I need to get a towel,” you scramble from underneath him, legs shaking and sensitive as they carry you to the bathroom. He shakes his head as he follows behind, unable to stop you as you scatter away from him and into the next room, a woman on a mission to scrub the world of the evidence of your debauchery. He watches from the doorway, his arm over his head as he leans against the door frame with a cocky smirk as you frantically grab a towel and dampen a washcloth. You turn to leave, looking up at him with a scowl as he blocks your path. 

“Ya know I'm supposed to be the one doing all this, princess?” He teases, face still coated in you and glistening in the light. You bring the damp wash cloth up to his jaw and start whipping him down, at least tackling one part of the cleaning process if he wasn't going to let you pass into the bedroom.

“I’m the one who made the mess, Logan,” you remind him, patting the wetness from his stubble. He chuckles, grabbing the towel from your other hand and halting the hand scrubbing his face with a firm hand around your wrist.

"Yeah, but I made it happen. Wheres my credit, bub?" You watch shamefully as he turns and places the towel over the wet spot on the bed, hanging the damp cloth over the bed frame and looking back at you expectantly. You hang your shoulders lower,  

“Logan that's not- we need to change the sheets, and you need new clothes and-” “shhh, just come here and lay down with me princess,” he coos, his naivety and dismissal of your feelings starting to frustrate you.

He approaches you with outstretched arms, coming over to loop them around your shoulders and walk you towards the mattress. You stop short of the bed, turning towards him to continue your arguing before he grabs your face with his palm, gently squeezing your cheeks into a pout and effectively stopping any defiance you had. His other hand wraps around your waist as he leans into your ears and speaks lowly,  

“I don't know what kind of nonsense you've got in this pretty head of yours,”

he taps your forehead with his forefinger before placing it in your hair, soaking in your gasp as he gently yanks your head back,

“but you're not leaving until I see that,” he refers to the wet spot causing you grief, “at least one more time.”

He possessively grabs your ass, pulling you firmly against him, your breath taken as he speaks into your ear. His teasing eases your worries, and his hands on you definitely help as well.

“So, I think we forget about the sheets,” you both chuckle, your cheeks flushed as he grabs you and growls.

“And you let me play with this pretty pussy till I figure out exactly how she ticks . Sound good to you, baby?” he asks, pulling back with his eyebrows quirked and lips pulled up into a dangerous leer.

You look small in his arms, the roller coaster of emotions leaving you feeling vulnerable and submissive as you softly shake your head up and down, core heating all the way back up for him.

He smiles and brings you into a tender kiss, hands roaming your body and down your arms, grabbing your wrists and placing your palms on his chest. He praises you with gentle whispers of so beautiful, my girl, need you, as he walks you backwards to sit on the edge of the bed.

The kiss turns more heated with every passing moment, his tongue working any shame out of your mind and replacing it with that beautiful heat of pleasure only he can have given you. He pulls away from you, a string of saliva connecting your lips as he pulls that same lopsided grin you've been slowly falling in love with.  

“Think I could make you squirt like that on my dick, princess?” He asks bodely, making you snort as your face gets hot, “um, I don't know usually... it's pretty hard.” He chuckles and runs his hands over your thighs.

“Didn't seem too hard to me,” he teases slyly, making you hide your face in his chest with a giggle. He kisses the crown of your head, muttering a soft, “I'll go get some more towels,” before wandering back into the bathroom, your eyes glued on his somehow still fully clothed from. You flush red again as he walks out with 2 more towels, laying them across the mattress and crawling towards you with a hungry glare. You were in for a long night. 

[mochinomnoms]

Silly JadeYuu idea but!!

I've seen it so often in fanfics where Jade can dig up info on literally anyone in the school, so he decides to get his hands on any and all information on The Prefect as he can.

Except, there really isn't a lot to dig up on The Prefect, is there? Don't get him wrong, Jade loves a challenge but it seems like he forgot that Yuu didn't even exist in Twisted Wonderland before September, there is no digital footprint to doomscroll through, no hometown he can research and become an over night expert on. Crowly doesn't even have your birthdate recorded on file!!

All Jade has to go of off learning anything he can about Yuu is your besties Adeuce and Grim (awful, he'd die before he let's himself owe Ace Trappola a favour) or ask you all about yourself which...sounds almost too easy to work, right?

Or something 💦

Aaaaa it's such a predicament for him! At first, he didn't really need to gather too much information on you, but now that he's interested and needs to know you inside and out, the weirdly limited amount of information about you is concerning....

this can take place in the later chapters of ptm when you are starting to pine back for jade~

tags: @ghousus

Jade had meant an unfortunate roadblock. Which was rare for him, especially when it came to intel.

It only took him but a few days to compile the intel on his dorm's freshmen for Azul, he even managed to find students' secret social media accounts.

Yet you were simultaneously NRC's worst and best kept secret.

He's positive that Crowley had intended to keep your transdimensional status a secret to but himself and the staff, yet it became increasingly obvious as the last school year progressed that you were not from this world.

If the lack of basic magical knowledge for didn't tip someone off, the gap in basic history facts and the random things you spewed out did.

"WHY IS THE CAT'S EARS ON FIRE? AND BLUE?" "Is that, like, your actual ears and tail or?" "Wait, so you're not an elf? Isn't that the same thing as a fae?" "Oh yeah we have a story about a kid and a beanstalk too! No guns on school grounds though, too many school shootings." "HOLY FUCK WHY DO YOU HAVE SCALES?" "I'm not making it up, people back home go to space, we have flags on the moon! You mean to tell me you guys didn't have a space race or something? ...What do you mean what's the point!? IT'S THE MOON!"

No one could really fault you for your cluelessness, thought Jade found it quite cute.

Unfortunately, that made it difficult to find information on you, especially back when Azul task him with finding dirt on you to get Ramshackle.

"I'm sorry to say Azul, but there is no information on Ramshackle's prefect prior to their attendance here. Not even evidence of their birth." "Well look harder! It's not like they popped out of nowhere! I need that dorm Jade, so do your job and find me something I can work with!"

After Azul's...outburst shall he say, and their discovery that the Prefect did actually pop out of nowhere, Jade has held it over his head quite smugly.

He wasn't so smug anymore, though, not when he was so invested in getting your heart and keeping it all to himself. Hard to do when there was little to no information about you.

Here's what Jade did know:

You liked dancing, though you weren't particularly good at it. Same with singing.

Silver had taken to teaching you how to use a sword, and you were quite good at it.

You tend to split your meals with Grim, even when offered your own plate.

Sam's soda that Azul had acquired last year was your favorite drink. You also liked the milkshakes at the lounge, though you rarely got them.

You scare easily and are near incapable of scaring someone else.

You were reckless when it came to your friends, to the point that you've nearly died about 9 times since arriving to their world.

And, of course, there were the little things that Jade noticed. Like the way the color in your eyes brightened in the sun.

Or the way you picked at your nails when nervous.

And the way you purse your lips when you get confused.

Oh! He thought the way you chewed on your pen was awfully cute.

Ah, the way you looked at him sometimes with an embarrassed look was something he's come to memorize. He's memorized many of your various facial expressions...like the one you made when you caught him staring at you. Despite his best efforts.

It's like you knew he was thinking about you...

He also knew that you liked to hide your smile and laughter when either got too big, big enough to show your teeth and gums. Big enough to make you snort and cackle like a witch from one of those human children shows someone showed him once. He knew your laugh like the beat of his heart.

Jade knew a lot, and yet nothing at all about you. What was your family like? Friends back home? What did you study? What were you wanting to be? Did you have a pet? A partner?

Don't worry about the last question! He's just a bit curious about the company you keep is all.

In any case, your little group of friends throwing you your birthday party was the perfect excuse for him to delve into your personal life with a plausible excuse.

"I thought Grim would be doing the interview questions for them? It's all we're letting him do so we can throw the Prefect a decent party this time."

Most people remembered the 'party' that the group of five then freshmen tried throwing you. It was hastily put together, no white suit as traditionally provided for a first year's birthdays, and the cake was a pile of tuna cans that Grim placed several small candles on top of. Which promptly fell over, caught a window drape on fire, and nearly brought the whole of Ramshackle into a blaze.

It also wasn't your birthday at that time. (That at least is a piece of information he could get his hands on.)

Now Ortho was involved, and Jade wasn't positive if that decrease or increased the potential fire hazard.

"Last year he did, yes. However, since the new freshman have been taking residence in Ramshackle, they've taken over the yearbook duties."

Usually, Jade would be able to gather his intel with little to no help from others, especially considering most of the school logged their activities on their social medias by the minute. Plus, his father's “questionable” career provided him with ample access to private investigators and databases.

But when it came to you? He didn't have much of a choice other than to depend on others. How troublesome.

"Aspen offered to take over the interview along with his other party tasks, but the poor thing has been struggling to juggle all his duties at Ramshackle and in Octavinelle."

Lies. Aspen was doing perfectly well, but when Aspen complained rather loudly in the Mostro Lounge kitchen about having to do the interview, Jade was more than happy to offer to take all the tasks from him. No future payment or favor required.

Aspen, with pink cheeks and hearts in his eyes, was more than happy to hand all of his tasks over to Jade with little thought.

"Oh, I guess then…" Deuce looked back at Ace in the kitchen with Trey on a video call. Saying that he was attempting to make a cake would be generous.

"…You know what, it's fine. We got a lot going on here. But, uh, when you're asking the Prefect about their ideal party, the sort of presents they like, and the usual stuff, try to be discreet. It's supposed to be a surprise!"

Jade raised a brow in amusement. "Really? How did you manage to get them fitted for their birthday jacket? I imagine that would be hard to keep a surprise."

Ace turned around, cradling a bowl in one arm and waving a wooden spoon. Jade is positive he could hear Trey cry out at him to not wave the batter around.

"Epel told them that Vil wanted them to come by to that film festival we when to last year, and needed to measure them for it."

The ginger flinched at Trey's voice chastising him through the phone.

"Hey! You asked for my help now pay attention before you drop the entire bowl and have to start over!"

"Okay! Okay! Jeez, you're almost as bad as Riddle when it comes to baking…" Ace grumbled, scrunching his nose like a child being scolded by his parents.

Jade withheld an amused snort at the thought, turning back around to Deuce to give him a polite nod and smile.

"Well then, it seems that you both have your work cut out for you. I'll leave you to it then."

Turning to leave, Jade ignored Deuce 'whispering' to Ace.

"Are we sure he should be asking them all these questions? You know how they'll probably get…"

Their voices faded out as he left Heartslabyul's kitchen, out the lounge, and to the entrance. He had previously been joined by Floyd, but his brother took off to find his favorite person entertainment.

Based on the rising voice of Riddle somewhere off in the rose maze, Floyd was successful.

Now, it was his turn to find his own favorite person.

You weren't hard to find, just follow the loud direbeast's noises, and you were bound to be there. It also helped that Jade had memorized your weekly schedule.

They should be finishing up their flight class soon, so I'll check the fields first.

It wasn't a particular trek, but it was a bit a walk from the Hall of Mirrors. Though, with how vast the campus was, it was expected.

Maybe he can stop at Sam's to grab a nice cold water to offer you. After all, he needs to demonstrate just how caring and dependable he is for you, and he'll start digging his place in to your heart!

Though, it seems that you were ahead of schedule, currently making your way to Ramshackle. Limping, even.

Oh dear, did you get hurt my pearl! I hope you're alright.

Like always, you seemed to sense him before he could even process your presence.

Those pretty, mesmerizing eyes widened, blinking at him with a piercing stare.

"Jade, hey, what are you doing here?"

Jade had to keep himself from running towards you like he wanted, instead taking a leisurely pace as you jogged towards him.

"Hello Prefect," My darling pearl~ "What a coincidence, I was just on my way to see you."

You gave him a knowing smile, eyes squinting as you did.

"Birthday, right?"

"Oh? And here I thought it was a secret~"

You snorted, covering your mouth to cover your grin. Cute.

"I have my...ways!" You looked to the side, pursing your lips before looking back at him. "But I'm guessing you got wrapped up in helping somehow?"

Again, that look, like you already knew the answer to your own question.

"Yes, I offered to help get a list of important party preferences for your friends. I do believe Deuce in particular is worried about your gift preferences."

Personally, I think the sea glass ring I had commissioned is going to be your favorite. But I'd rather exchange the gift privately, more intimately...cherish your reaction.

The thought of you, looking at him completely dazzled and struck by his confession was a fond thought. To finally make you his and his alone would be a dream. He just needed to know your idea date, which is what this little mission of his could help with.

"You know Jade, you don't have to find an excuse to find things out about me." Jade blinked, feeling himself warm up under your gaze.

How do you always...

"Oh?" Jade chuckled, hiding his smile behind a fist. "Did I give off that impression? I'm simply providing my assistance to those in need."

You rolled your eyes, pausing as you made eye contact with him and looked at your feet in embarrassment.

"No you don't—I mean not intentionally—I can just tell..." Jade let his smile soften into something more fond as he watched you stumble over your words.

"It's alright, I am always curious." And you just happen to be a strong topic of interest. "There is very little known about you, are you aware that you didn't have a student file up until a few months ago?"

Squinting your eyes at him in suspicion, you poked an accusatory finger into his chest.

"And why do you know that? I thought Azul didn't need you to dig up dirt on anyone since last fall."

Placing a hand on his chest, Jade pouted. "That's rather harsh little pearl, I prefer the term 'conducting research', it sounds much nicer. Besides..."

Jade couldn't help but give you a smug smirk, curling his finger for you to come closer. Hesitating, you leaned in on your tiptoes as he leaned down. His gray strand brushed against your cheek as he heard you take in a sudden breath.

In a soft, low, almost heady voice, he whispered, "...you're just something I'm particularly interested in. I want to know you inside and out~"

Oh, how he delighted in seeing you fumble back and clasp your hands together in a fluster. Though, from the heat in his cheeks, he's probably no better off right now.

Covering your lower face in your hand, Jade could just barely make out your muttering.

"When did you get so direct..."

As quickly as he got that sweet reaction, you straightened up and smiled at him.

"Well, as long as your helping the others, I can give you my free time." You gestured for Jade to follow you to your dorm, swinging your arms as you walked.

Before you even made a few feet, you stopped and turned back to Jade with a shy expression.

"Um...but you don't need an excuse to go out or anything like that." Jade felt an electric shock fly up his spine as you gingerly reached for his right hand.

Your thumb rubbed over his hand in a tender gesture, like you were trying relax him as the tingling sensations and the rapid beating of his heart increased.

"I'd like to be with—or, I mean, be around you more." You looked like you were burning up with embarrassment, while he rejoiced internally.

YES YES YES! I want to be with you! I want you, let me have you! You will won't you?

"...Of course, I'd like that too." Jade brought the hand holding his up to his lips, barely brushing the skin with a kiss. "I'm more than happy to indulge my whims, why not take advantage of you offering?"

You both made eye contact, staring into each other as if waiting for the other to make a move.

Gods, I love you...

It didn't take long for you to jerk your hand back, looking up at him with a like he just confessed his love and offered his soul to you.

He didn't say that out loud...right?

"Um, let's head to Ramshackle to talk." You turned back around and started quickly walking, leaving Jade to catch up to you, though with his legs it wasn't hard. "I wanna get out of my uniform..."

I could help with that~

"I'll just change into something really baggy! Nice and comfy!" You let out a nervous laugh as you continued walking.

Makes for easier access~

He wasn't sure what was in your way, but somehow you managed to trip over air and smack into the ground.

[xiakato]

GISELLE- The Bitch In The Red Dress (M)

A/n: I've been playing too much resident evil lately

September 1998, you'll never forget it. The grizzly murders in the Arkley Mountains to the zombie outbreak in Raccoon city, her. She strung you along with little to no effort. Her beauty was something else, something not of this world. You and her got along per se, a kiss to stop your overthinking while you were in the thick of it. The hive was when everything went south. Her lies came out in the open due to the person you have been chasing with her.  The explosions destroy the bridge and they are desperate to hold her from falling. The slipping of her hand from yours. The sinking heart as you watch her fall with the metal bridge. You had to get out, the city was forfeit.

Years later

You got hit by an assignment, the president's daughter was kidnapped by a cult in Spain's countryside. Ever since Raccoon city, you've tried to get away from the fight with the B.O.Ws that Umbrella left behind and the ones that are hidden away from greedy eyes. The cult leader, Saddler, is an extremist. Possibly due to the influence of the plaga or perhaps he always had these ideals and beliefs and the discovery of the plaga allowed him to act on it. The countless lives of the villagers, those part of the cult and those who were experimented on were lost. You fought through the village, Castle De Salazar, the place where you ran into her, The one that stole your heart amidst chaos. The red dress is reminiscent of the one she wore all those years ago. The knife shines in the moonlight as it is pressed against her neck, her porcelain skin reflecting in the polished finish. 

“Use knives next time, they’re better for close encounters,” You take the handgun from her hand tossing it to the side sheathing your knife. 

“Y/n,” You look at the woman as she takes off her sunglasses, you thought she was dead.

“What are you doing here Giselle?” You ask her, keeping your feelings in check. You’re on a mission, you have to be on guard at all times. 

“Don’t worry about it, handsome,” She walks towards the window, “So cold to me after all these years apart.” 

“After your lies, you’re lucky I don’t shoot you here and now,” You stare at her, fighting the urge to soak in her moon kissed beauty. 

“Oh honey, I didn’t mean to lie to you, we both had a job to do that day,” You shake your head at her as she smirks,” Well see you around handsome,” She tosses her glasses causing a flash bang to go off blinding you as she takes off out of the window.  You stare out of the window she left from,shaking your head leaving to the maze below. The castle was something else, the castellan was an interesting character to say the least. Ningning got taken to an island off the coast. Chasing after the man that took her, he’s quick perhaps beyond human limits. Getting to the dock, seeing a boat with a woman inside. She looks at you, “Need a ride handsome?” 

The rough waters did little to deter you from looking at her, her hair neatly done despite the situation. You shake your head, getting rid of the excess thoughts. “Why Giselle?” 

“All these years and that’s all you can ask Y/n?” She quirks an eyebrow, “You disappoint me.” 

“I have something to ask you, but I won’t get a straight answer,” She chuckles as you sigh,”Raccoon City, after the incident. You try to save one, a hundred more die. The world changed and so have I. So the question is have you changed Giselle? or are you just trying to use me again?” 

“You? Changed? You only think you have, what do you think? Do you think I’ve changed?” She looks over as she pulls the boat over to the side off the cliff aiming her grapple gun, “Don’t think too hard, handsome,” She takes off rocking the boat, you react quickly, steadying the boat before leaning back in the chair and sighing. 

“Story of my life.” 

The island was just as you expected to be, until you ran into him, Krauser. The man that trained you, the sparks from the knives slashing against each other. He knocks you onto your back diving his knife for your neck, a gunshot rings out making Krauser jump back and look over where it came from.

“Well if it isn’t The Bitch In The Red Dress,” He smirks as she starts firing down at them, with his enhancements, he can run faster than humanly possible. Dodging the bullets and jumping towards her, she grapples out of the way with him still chasing. 

“What the fuck is happening here?” 

The island of horrors, abdominations, fucking lasers, a comfy throne. You are pretty sure you’ve seen it all on this island alone. Finding Ningning again, you managed to find a machine that can get rid of your plaga after Giselle saved your ass again. Sending electric currents into a certain spot at a single spot, for one fucking hurt, and two killed the plaga so You are free from the plagas control and Saddler has another thing coming. Rushing outside to see Giselle tied by her wrists hanging in the ai. 

“Y/n isn’t that?�� Ning asks, as you nod.

“Stay here,” You tell her as you get into the elevator heading up, meeting Saddler as you ignore him tossing your knife cutting down Giselle. His form changed into a spider-like form with eyeballs on his legs. The fight felt like it took forever, Until you spot Giselle running over, “Y/n use this~” She yells out tossing a RPG towards you, you rush picking it up. Shooting it at Saddler as he recoils from the blast, his body sizzles away, you spot the vial, you grab it as you feel a gun press against your head. 

“Hand it over,” Giselle says as you hand it behind you, she takes as she runs off the side getting an helicopter, “The island is set to blow,” She tosses a key ring, “Better hurry up Prince Charming.”

The helicopter takes off as you run back to the elevator, grabbing Ning by the hand, “We have to go,” You rush towards the underground water way, seeing a jet ski waiting for you, you hop on with her and speed away dodging the falling rocks, you get out of the waterway with Ning holding on tightly. 

“Wow that was close,” She says resting her head on your back, “So um.. what do you think about some over time?” 

“I’m good,” You chuckle, “I have some one else in my mind.”

“Is it her?” She asks and you merely nod as you drive off, “I figured,” She mutters leaning her head down on your shoulder. 

You get a nice vacation after getting the president's daughter back to the states. You take in a breath of fresh air standing in front of your house, getting to the front door, you notice it's slightly opened. Immediately drawing your 9mm, turning the safety off you make your way through the living room. Clearing every room in the bottom floor before moving up. Clearing rooms up to yours. Opening the door, your laser lands in the middle of the forehead of the intruder.

"Oh my, what a welcome," she's says as she crosses her legs in her trademarked red dress.

     "What are you doing here Giselle?" you ask her holstering your gun, sighing.

"just thought I'll see you again," her eyes trailing your body in suit. "You look good like you always do, perhaps the president's daughter flirting with you did you some good."

“Don’t even talk about that,” You place your gun onto the dresser by the wall before looking back at her as she stands walking over to you, her hands trailing down your shirt undoing button by button. She pulls off your shirt and suit jacket in one swoop. She kisses your scars soflty, her eyes lock onto the gunshot on your shoulder. 

“I remember when this happen,” Her fingers softly glazes over the gunshot, “I was scared to be honest.” 

“Even though you say that, were you really?” You question her as you feel her fingers quiver against your skin

“I’m telling the truth for once, Y/n. I didn’t want to lose you even though I only just met you a few hours prior,” She kisses the scar, her kisses trail down your body as she gets to her knees undoing your belt. Pulling your cock out, she smiles licking her lips, “I missed this,” She pushes you towards the bed, taking off your boxers and slacks. She strokes your cock slowly as she spits on it, “I feel you throbbing already~” She kisses up your shaft, “Already needy for Mommy?” She takes your tip into her mouth, you feel her tongue swirl around it sending shivers throughout your body.She pushes herself deeper as your cock reaches her throat.

“Fuck,” You mutter as your hand reaches the back of her head pushing your cock deeper. She pulls back, her saliva cascades down onto your cock as she strokes it faster and faster, her other hand caressing your body, her hand going over your abs and scars as she sucks your cock.She pulls your cock out with a pop as she stands up, dropping her red dress onto the floor,  her naked poreclain body on perfect display for you as she straddles you, her thighs covered in her juices as she slides your cock into her, hearing her breath hitch as you feel her up. Your arms wrap around her waist, as she starts to ride you. Her ass bouncing on your cock, her tightness squeezing every inch of you. She wraps her arms around your neck as she rides your cock faster and faster. 

“Fuck me babyboy, Use me fucking use me baby,” She pleads with you as you thrust upwards, hitting her womb as you ravage her, her moans fill your ears. You hear nothing else other than her, she is in every one of your senses. Her juices dripping down your balls creating a puddle on the bed, “Give me that dick baby,” She moans out as her hands grip onto your hair as her hips meet your thrusts. You feel her walls tighten around you as she cums over your cock, her body shaking as you don’t stop chasing your own orgasm, “Fucking cum in me, fill me the fuck up with your cum babyboy,” She urges you as you feel it coming you fuck her faster and faster and you feel the first shot, you push yourself as deep as you could. You see her bright smile as she feels you fill her up, “So so much~” She giggles as she sits up, your cock still in her, “You filled up Mommy so well,” She moves her hips slowly, milking the rest out of you, “Surely you have more for me~?”

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS - Sensual Connections Pt.2

Pluto in the 8th house individuals need something raw and deep. They need to see you naked and im not talking about just taking off your clothes. When it comes to having a lover, need you to be on bored with wanting to connect vulnerably with them as this creates the most passionate sex/relationship there is. They'll take you deep to the underworld and back to earth, take you down to an ocean where its impossible to swim back up as your old self. You have to be willing to transform during this emotional act, because for them its more than sex. Its a portal to a new life.

Venus/Lilith individuals can and will be in a few relationships that are very taboo. They might be the ones to initiate these relationships first. These placements need lovers who will go the extra mile with them and will allow them to be themselves along the way. You cannot tame them, which makes their love a whole lot sweeter ;) There kink could be in beds where they come be the dominator. Or play the role as the submissive because who doesnt like a little cat & mouse ;) They need love that surrenders to the darkness of their soul, and releasing it as you both intertwine with each others shadow. They can show you a love that is raw, deep and penetrating and you probably leave a different person after being with them. Being with them is an adventure.

Sun/Neptune Venus/Neptune Individuals need a love like in the story books, Im talking candles in the room with rose petals everywhere. A love that feels like cupid just shot them in the back. They need to create a world for them and their lovers to exist in where no one can taint it. These are the type of lovers that would paint their lovers, or be the muse themselves.

Venus Scorpions need their lovers to feel every inch of them in their souls. They cannot have anyone who doesnt love them for them in their entirety. They need the good, bad, and the ugly when it comes to taking a leap further in all their sensual connections with their lovers. These scorpion babes need their lovers to be engulfed into their shadow, allow them to take in all of their nutrients as in the end it will make both of you stronger. Scorpion Venuses need you to obsess over them a little, may even want you to fight for their honor. This turns them on and lets them know that you truly wish to be their one & only.

Sun/Uranus individuals need someone whose different, and allows them to be different. Sun/Uranus people are always changing and they need someone who understand this. There love can grow stronger for you if you can take the journey of self-discovery with them. There kinks can go be a little different but their fun, Could be into the use of sex toys with their lovers because why nooooot ;)

Venus/Mercury Sun/Mercury Moon/Mercury individuals need an intellectual. Point blank period, a dead mind is a boring soul to them. They love to uncover the brains of their lovers as this is a turn on for them. Natural mind readers, they want a telepathic connection with their lovers. And want to be bonded with them were their is no secrets or no need to hide who they are. Need someone who sees the ins and outs of who they are, because their is so much that goes on inside of them that most people cant seem to notice.

[pearlprincess02]

your core identity: sun / moon midpoints

the sun/moon midpoint in astrology is a significant point that represents the synthesis of a person’s core identity (sun) and emotional needs (moon). it is often considered a "balance point" between the masculine (sun) and feminine (moon) energies within an individual, capturing both their conscious goals and subconscious desires.

about sun / moon midpoint: inner harmony, balance of self, self-acceptance, true self-expression, fulfillment, emotional well-being, comfort, inner peace, attraction, partnership potential, connection needs, compatibility, intimacy, goals, personal destiny, soul mission, inner motivations, growth, maturity, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, artistic talents, creative drive, manifestation of desires, self-expression through art or work, how the world perceives you vs. how you feel inside, authentic self vs. social mask, yin/yang integration, masculine & feminine balance, conscious/unconscious integration, how you give & receive love, ideal relationship style, romantic needs, personal growth journey, inner conflicts, reconciling desires with duties,

aries sun/moon midpoint

with an aries sun/moon midpoint, personal development is driven by a need for independence, action, and self-assertion. this placement suggests that the person finds their greatest fulfillment through experiences that allow them to be bold, take risks, and carve their own path. their growth is tied to a strong sense of self-discovery and a desire to lead or initiate new endeavors. the aries energy pushes them to confront challenges head-on, often embracing change and competition as a way to sharpen their skills and build confidence. they are likely to develop a dynamic personality that thrives in environments where they can assert their individuality and pursue their passions fearlessly. this placement indicates a person who learns and grows by taking the initiative and asserting their will, often feeling most alive when they are actively pursuing new goals or adventures.

taurus sun/moon midpoint

with a taurus sun/moon midpoint, personal development is deeply connected to stability, comfort, and a sense of security. this placement suggests that the person finds growth through experiences that ground them, provide material or emotional security, and allow them to build something lasting. their path to self-awareness is often slow and steady, valuing consistency and patience in their pursuits. they tend to develop a strong appreciation for the physical and sensory aspects of life, finding pleasure in beauty, nature, and the finer things that bring comfort and pleasure. this midpoint reflects a person who learns and evolves by creating a solid foundation for themselves, cultivating inner peace, and developing resilience. they grow best in environments where they can nurture their senses, build strong relationships, and develop practical skills that enhance their self-sufficiency and personal worth.

gemini sun/moon midpoint

with a gemini sun/moon midpoint, personal development is fueled by curiosity, communication, and the desire for intellectual stimulation. this placement suggests that the person grows by engaging with a wide range of ideas, exploring different perspectives, and sharing their thoughts with others. their path to self-awareness is shaped by a love for learning, social interaction, and constant mental activity. they thrive in dynamic environments where they can exchange information, connect with diverse people, and adapt to new situations. this midpoint indicates someone who evolves through the flexibility of mind, finding fulfillment in diverse experiences and staying open to new possibilities. they develop best when they embrace their dual nature, balancing both their logical and creative sides, and allowing themselves the freedom to explore various interests and express themselves in multiple ways.

cancer sun/moon midpoint

with a cancer sun/moon midpoint, personal development is deeply intertwined with emotional connection, nurturing, and the search for security. this placement suggests that the person grows through experiences that foster a sense of belonging, care, and emotional understanding. their journey toward self-awareness involves cultivating empathy, honoring their feelings, and creating environments where they feel safe and supported. they are often drawn to roles where they can care for others or be a source of emotional comfort, finding fulfillment in close, meaningful relationships and family connections. this midpoint reflects a person who learns and evolves by connecting to their emotional core, embracing their sensitivity, and understanding their own needs for security and comfort. they grow best in settings that allow them to express their nurturing side, build deep bonds, and create a stable foundation for themselves and those they love.

leo sun/moon midpoint

with a leo sun/moon midpoint, personal development is driven by the need for self-expression, recognition, and creative fulfillment. this placement suggests that the person thrives when they can shine brightly, celebrate their individuality, and share their unique gifts with the world. their path to self-awareness is centered on building confidence, embracing their natural charisma, and finding ways to lead or inspire others. they are drawn to situations where they can feel appreciated and admired, often seeking roles or activities that allow them to stand out and be celebrated for their talents. this midpoint indicates someone who grows by embracing their inner light, taking pride in their achievements, and cultivating a sense of purpose through creative and heartfelt endeavors. they develop best in environments where they are free to express their passions, assert their personal identity, and feel the warmth of genuine connection and admiration from others.

virgo sun/moon midpoint

with a virgo sun/moon midpoint, personal development is centered around self-improvement, practicality, and a commitment to service. this placement suggests that the person grows by refining their skills, attending to details, and finding meaningful ways to be of help to others. their journey toward self-awareness involves cultivating a sense of order, discipline, and responsibility, as well as finding balance in their daily routines. they often find fulfillment through problem-solving, analyzing situations, and contributing to the well-being of those around them in practical, tangible ways. this midpoint indicates someone who evolves by embracing their analytical nature and striving for perfection in their endeavors. they develop best in environments that encourage precision, efficiency, and thoughtful consideration, where they can use their keen eye for detail and strong sense of duty to make a positive impact.

libra sun/moon midpoint

with a libra sun/moon midpoint, personal development revolves around finding balance, harmony, and meaningful connections with others. this placement suggests that the person grows through relationships, collaboration, and understanding different perspectives. their path to self-awareness involves learning to navigate social dynamics, cultivating diplomacy, and fostering fairness and justice in their interactions. they find fulfillment in situations that allow them to create beauty, peace, and equilibrium, whether in their personal life, work, or creative pursuits. this midpoint reflects someone who evolves by embracing their desire for partnership and mutual support. they develop best in environments where they can engage with others, practice cooperation, and express their innate sense of grace and tact. finding a balance between their needs and those of others is key to their growth, allowing them to build a life filled with love, understanding, and harmony.

scorpio sun/moon midpoint

with a scorpio sun/moon midpoint, personal development is driven by a need for depth, transformation, and emotional intensity. this placement suggests that the person grows through profound experiences that challenge them to confront their inner depths, embrace change, and uncover hidden truths. their path to self-awareness involves exploring their passions, facing their fears, and navigating the complexities of their emotional landscape. they are drawn to situations that demand resilience, courage, and a willingness to delve beneath the surface of life, often finding fulfillment in moments of deep connection and personal transformation. this midpoint reflects someone who evolves by embracing their inner strength, seeking out meaningful and transformative experiences, and understanding the power of their emotions. they develop best in environments that allow them to express their intensity, explore their psychological depths, and engage in activities that foster personal growth and renewal.

sagittarius sun/moon midpoint

with a sagittarius sun/moon midpoint, personal development is fueled by a quest for adventure, knowledge, and freedom. this placement suggests that the person grows through experiences that expand their horizons, challenge their beliefs, and inspire their sense of exploration. their path to self-awareness involves embracing opportunities for travel, learning, and philosophical inquiry, as well as seeking out new experiences that broaden their perspective. they find fulfillment in environments that encourage curiosity, optimism, and the pursuit of their higher ideals. this midpoint reflects someone who evolves by following their passions, embracing change, and remaining open to the world’s vast possibilities. they develop best in settings that support their adventurous spirit, provide intellectual stimulation, and allow them to freely explore their interests and aspirations. the journey involves balancing their desire for freedom with their need for meaningful connections and personal growth.

capricorn sun/moon midpoint

with a capricorn sun/moon midpoint, personal development is centered around ambition, structure, and achieving long-term goals. this placement suggests that the person grows through disciplined efforts, taking on responsibilities, and building a solid foundation for their future. their path to self-awareness involves developing a strong sense of duty, working diligently toward their objectives, and cultivating resilience in the face of challenges. they find fulfillment in roles that allow them to demonstrate their competence, make tangible progress, and contribute to their personal and professional success. this midpoint reflects someone who evolves by embracing their drive for achievement, maintaining focus on their ambitions, and navigating their emotional landscape with a pragmatic approach. they develop best in environments that offer opportunities for leadership, provide clear goals, and support their efforts to create a lasting impact. balancing their need for stability with their emotional needs is key to their growth, allowing them to build a life characterized by both personal accomplishment and emotional security.

aquarius sun/moon midpoint

with an aquarius sun/moon midpoint, personal development is driven by a desire for innovation, individuality, and social progress. this placement suggests that the person grows through experiences that challenge conventional thinking, foster creative expression, and encourage unique contributions to the collective. their path to self-awareness involves embracing their individuality, exploring unconventional ideas, and engaging in activities that promote change and reform. they find fulfillment in environments that support their intellectual curiosity, allow for unconventional thinking, and provide opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals. this midpoint reflects someone who evolves by embracing their role as a visionary, seeking out ways to make a difference in the world, and expressing their authentic self. they develop best in settings that encourage freedom of thought, support their innovative ideas, and allow them to be part of communities that value diversity and progress. balancing their need for personal uniqueness with their desire to contribute to the greater good is key to their growth, enabling them to build a life that aligns with their ideals and aspirations.

pisces sun/moon midpoint

with a pisces sun/moon midpoint, personal development is deeply intertwined with intuition, compassion, and a quest for spiritual understanding. this placement suggests that the person grows through experiences that foster empathy, creativity, and a connection to their inner self. their path to self-awareness involves embracing their sensitivity, exploring their dreams and ideals, and finding meaning in their emotional and spiritual experiences. they find fulfillment in environments that support their imaginative nature, offer opportunities for healing, and allow them to connect with something greater than themselves. this midpoint reflects someone who evolves by embracing their emotional depth, nurturing their creative talents, and seeking spiritual growth. they develop best in settings that encourage introspection, provide emotional support, and allow them to express their dreams and ideals. balancing their need for solitude with their desire for connection and compassion is key to their growth, enabling them to create a life rich with purpose, understanding, and emotional fulfillment.

in the houses:

sun/moon midpoint in 1st house: self-awareness, personal authenticity, emotional confidence, self-expression, assertiveness, independence, charisma, emotional strength, presence, personal fulfillment, directness, self-assurance, balance between ego & emotions, initiative in relationships, inner & outer harmony, creative self-assertion, public emotional expression, self-discovery, emotional identity evolution, leadership in relationships, heroic self-discovery, the reluctant hero, character development arc, the chosen one, identity crisis, public persona vs. private self, the leader, emotional growth, dynamic character, self-actualization, personal branding, daily routines, self-help books, therapy sessions, social media profiles, personal journals, fitness goals, public speaking events, career planning, creative hobbies

sun/moon midpoint in 2nd house: self-worth, material security, emotional stability, value systems, financial independence, resourcefulness, emotional investment, personal values, tangible goals, emotional ownership, possessiveness, building stability, self-sufficiency, emotional fulfillment through possessions, inner security, satisfaction in comfort, emotional attachment to wealth, nurturing resources, grounded self-expression, emotional connection to personal belongings, the wealthy, money for nothing, the material girl, power of love, the self-made man/woman, emotional baggage, comfort zone, personal growth journey, the insecure wealthy, the self-sufficient, budgeting, investment planning, personal savings accounts, home decor, collecting hobbies, self-care routines, material possessions, career goals, financial planning, personal values statements,

sun/moon midpoint in 3rd house: communication, curiosity, intellectual connection, social interaction, emotional expression through words, mental stimulation, self-awareness through learning, verbal self-expression, emotional adaptability, engaging in dialogue, open-mindedness, active listening, thoughtful relationships, expressive creativity, emotional intelligence, quick-wittedness, networking, exchanging ideas, sociability, mental & emotional alignment, the brainy one, the thinker, verbal tic, the mentor, communication breakdown, the gossiper, the strategist, the spock, the media mogul, character development through dialogue, daily conversations, writing, public speaking, social media interactions, networking events, learning new skills, local community groups, personal journaling, educational courses, social hobbies,

sun/moon midpoint in 4th house: emotional security, home life, family roots, inner foundation, nurturing self, domestic harmony, private identity, emotional fulfillment through family, heritage, comfort zone, self-nurturing, emotional intimacy, ancestral connections, psychological foundation, caring relationships, creating a safe space, internal stability, home-centered creativity, inner life balance, emotional depth in personal life, the family man/woman, home is where the heart is, the nurturer, the secret keeper, the protector, emotional baggage, the domestic goddess, the emotional anchor, family ties, the homestead, family gatherings, home improvement projects, emotional support systems, family traditions, home cooking, personal space design, parenting responsibilities, private retreats, home-based hobbies, emotional journaling,

sun/moon midpoint in 5th house: creative self-expression, passion, romantic love, joyfulness, personal creativity, playfulness, emotional excitement, self-discovery through fun, spontaneity, emotional fulfillment through love, artistic expression, romantic connections, childlike wonder, dramatic self-expression, entertainment, personal pleasure, hobbies & passions, emotional self-confidence, self-love, heartfelt experiences, the prodigy, the star, the flirt, the artist, the dreamer, love triangle, the performer, the entertainer, playful trickster, romantic hero, creative projects, romantic dates, personal hobbies, artistic pursuits, social gatherings, theater or dance classes, self-expression through fashion, event planning, sporting activities, celebratory events,

sun/moon midpoint in 6th house: service, routine, health & wellness, work ethic, self-improvement, emotional balance through discipline, daily responsibilities, practical self-expression, helping others, emotional fulfillment through work, efficiency, attention to detail, healing, organized lifestyle, self-care, productivity, emotional health, practical love, dedication, balance between work & self, the perfectionist, the workaholic, the caregiver, the taskmaster, routine maintenance, the healer, the analyst, the organizer, the unsung hero, the method actor, daily routines, health regimens, work schedules, to-do lists, volunteering, meal planning, fitness programs, professional development, household chores, time management,

sun/moon midpoint in 7th house: partnership, harmony, emotional balance through relationships, mutual understanding, commitment, collaboration, compromise, shared emotional needs, relationship fulfillment, personal growth through others, marriage, equality, diplomacy, emotional exchange, union, interpersonal dynamics, emotional security in partnerships, social connection, balancing self & others, emotional integration through love, the idealist, the partner in crime, the perfect match, the negotiator, the romantic, the complement, the life coach, the trusty sidekick, the matchmaker, the diplomat, relationship counseling, partnership agreements, marriage planning, collaborative projects, conflict resolution, joint ventures, social gatherings with partners, personal growth workshops, date nights, public appearances with significant others,

sun/moon midpoint in 8th house: transformation, emotional depth, intimacy, power dynamics, rebirth, shared resources, emotional vulnerability, psychological insight, healing, emotional intensity, secrets, trust, deep emotional bonds, mystery, fearlessness in relationships, personal evolution, taboos, emotional power struggles, emotional merging, crisis management, the dark side, the survivor, the undercover agent, the manipulator, the reformed criminal, emotional transformation, the secret keeper, the alchemist, the mysterious stranger, the phoenix, deep therapy sessions, financial planning, intimate conversations, crisis management, personal transformation projects, secretive work or research, joint financial ventures, exploring hidden talents, healing practices, investments & inheritance planning,

sun/moon midpoint in 9th house: expansion, adventure, philosophy, higher learning, spiritual growth, exploration, freedom, broadening horizons, cultural experiences, emotional fulfillment through knowledge, global perspective, belief systems, personal truth, growth through travel, emotional wisdom, faith, curiosity about life, visionary thinking, emotional connection to ideals, life’s purpose through exploration, the Seeker, the world traveler, the sage, the visionary, the adventurer, the guru, the idealist, the scholar, the cultural ambassador, the missionary, travel planning, higher education, philosophical debates, cultural experiences, spiritual practices, personal development courses, writing & publishing, exploring new beliefs, teaching & mentoring, long-term goals & aspirations,

sun/moon midpoint in 10th house: career, public image, ambition, life goals, achievement, authority, reputation, professional growth, public recognition, emotional fulfillment through success, leadership, status, self-discipline, career aspirations, legacy, personal responsibility, impact on society, goal-oriented emotional needs, self-expression in the public eye, identity through career, the ambitious leader, the public figure, the overachiever, the icon, the careerist, the visionary, the authority, the success story, the power player, the self-made person, career advancement, public speaking engagements, professional networking, goal setting, work-life balance, leadership roles, personal branding, performance reviews, strategic planning, public appearances,

sun/moon midpoint in 11th house: community, friendship, social causes, group dynamics, innovation, aspirations, collective goals, emotional fulfillment through networks, humanitarian efforts, collaborative projects, shared ideals, visionary thinking, emotional connection to groups, personal development through social interactions, future-oriented goals, social identity, creative collaboration, community engagement, emotional satisfaction through social contributions, identity through group affiliations, the visionary leader, the social butterfly, the idealist, the innovator, the networker, the rebel, the humanitarian, the supportive friend, the trendsetter, the connector, social networks, community involvement, group projects, future planning, collaborative hobbies, friendship circles, volunteer work, aspiration setting, creative collaborations, public advocacy,

sun/moon midpoint in 12th house: introspection, spirituality, isolation, inner life, subconscious mind, self-reflection, emotional healing, compassion, hidden strengths, psychological insight, private growth, mysticism, soul purpose, emotional release, self-understanding, meditation, creative imagination, personal retreat, secret desires, identity through inner exploration, the recluse, the enigma, the mystic, the underdog, the visionary dreamer, the healer, the secret hero, the survivor, the shy guy/gal, the spiritual guide, meditation practices, personal retreats, therapeutic work, spiritual exploration, journaling, creative solitude, private reflection, volunteering in hidden ways, counseling sessions, philanthropic efforts,

all observations are done by me !!! @pearlprincess02

[thefirstknife]

They're killing me with Echoes.

Some stuff from the exotic mission that is really interesting. I'll start with the stuff you can only get after you've done it once and you can start finding secret chests. On runs after your 1st, there will be a conflux in one of the side rooms that is otherwise empty.

Once you activate that, there will be a small puzzle and then a chest will appear. This will also change the room slightly and activate several Vex portals, turning the room into a sort of a nexus that will be used for other chests. More under, spoilers and long:

This is the room, btw, when you first run it and there's no conflux:

Okay. Although a lot has been altered, they're continuing with the trend of stripping away Mercury for parts: this is the base layout of the inside of the Lighthouse. Kicking and screaming and throwing things and eating through my walls.

Anyway, after you activate the conflux and the puzzle, the extra gates around the area will transform like this and the area will get a name "Ancillary Transit Nexus" :

This will later be used as portals to go into areas with other chests. There's two extra chests this week and we go through two of these portals, but there's a third as well. I'm assuming it might be some sort of a rotation by week.

The second chest you get this week is where the interesting part starts because you return back to this area, use one of the portals and go back to the area where the mission started where you do a puzzle and then get the chest. But when you do all that, you get new voice lines. This time... From Chioma Esi; one of Chiomas that got simulated by the Vex:

Aspect lore book fans stay winning!!!! So this is the format of how different iterations of the 227 simulated Ishtar scientist teams were designated and how they communicated with each other. Two of these teams are also specifically mentioned in Aspect. We don't know about .130 (130th iteration), but we do know .59 and .97. A devastating one for .59:

227.59 You lose Maya. You mourn. The thought of all the other Mayas out there doesn't help. They weren't the Maya you'd puzzled with over living basalt flowers, a world with seventeen moons, a continent that Shim had sworn up and down was sixteenth-century Australia and that Duane-McNiadh couldn't be dissuaded from calling Pangaea. You'd found a simulation with a city where you discovered a jewelry store, picked out a necklace, brought it home to her, and wished her a happy pseudo anniversary. Maya didn't like bracelets, said they always fouled her work. Her hair had been getting shaggy again and was due for a trim. She could never decide whether or not to grow it out. She laughed at you lifting weights to maintain simulated muscle, but she spotted for you all the same. There are other Mayas out there, layers of them, all the way up to the original, wherever she is. You hope they're doing well. But that doesn't stop you from missing this Maya, missing whatever arguments and discoveries you'd have shared in the rest of the lifetime you'd promised to one another. Shim and Duane-McNiadh pull you up from beside Maya's marker. A basalt lily rests on top of it, petals thin enough to let light through. You go on.

And .97:

227.97 Here's how it goes: you and Maya and Shim and Duane-McNiadh take your first cautious, sliding steps out into the Vex information network. You get your footing. You've got to translate everything into metaphor to understand it, here, and this is like tightrope walking on a greased line. You and Maya lean into each other. Shim slips, and you help him up. You explore. You go on.

They're both in the same lore tab. These groups were so distinct between each other and experienced vastly different things, so much that Praedyth could differentiate between the groups and knew which voices belonged to which number of them. These groups communicated with him to coordinate their potential escape.

The interesting bit is that in the voice line from this week we see .130 Chioma calling the Chioma from .59 (the one that lost and buried Maya), asking about the .97 group with whom they've apparently lost contact. And in Aspect, we see the .97 group doing fine. At least here at the beginning. But it appears that the idea is that at some point they either died or simply vanished, as they're not responding.

The third chest is the same; you go to the nexus and from there to another room where there's a puzzle and when you solve it, you get a chest and voice lines, this time from one of the simulated Mayas:

This Maya is from the 65th iteration and she's telling us that a lot of inviduals from each team are vanishing. We don't really know what that means and what is happening, but we do know from Aspect that at the end when they attempted their escape, there were significantly fewer individuals, possibly whole teams either vanished, dead or simply unreachable:

A hundred and sixty Mayas reach for the Chiomas by their side. A hundred and fifty-eight Chiomas reach back.

Down to 160 from 227 is a lot (and only 158 Chiomas). We never really knew what this meant and we still aren't sure now, but this might be an explanation. Something was happening to them in the network.

What makes this even more interesting is that this Maya mentioned "our singular friend." This can be none other than Praedyth. He wasn't a simulated copy, he was just one Praedyth, communicating with them from the Vault of Glass and helping them escape; a singular friend.

One Praedyth, waiting for the conductor's baton to drop.

Interesting word to use in this lore from 5 years ago. There's also no way that this is it and that they won't give us more lines about this because it feels like just the start of the explanation so I'm going absolutely bonkers insane. We have to get more lines next week and the week after since this is also all a way to get the pieces for the exotic gun. And there's one more portal that we haven't gone into so there has to be some sort of rotation and more information on this.

Besides this, the mission had another gut punch with Maya and Chioma, namely showing us Conductor!Maya experiments with Exo!Chioma; basically booting her up and checking her with personal questions until she finds the Chioma she wants. The lines are truly something else:

So that's fine. A few points that are interesting. Parthenogenic incubation! Really interesting look into the Golden Age technology; this is basically a way to reproduce without the need to fertilise an egg which allows for, in this case, two women to have biological offspring. Degaussing is also an interesting word to use; it's a complete destruction of data by affecting the magnetic field on magnetic storage. This is basically what the Veil was doing to Exos to erase them.

That aside, yeah. Maya was booting up Chiomas and testing them, then erasing them if they were proven to be unsatisfactory in some way which is obviously upsetting to Chioma who would at that point be a fully conscious person. She was also being booted in really bizarre hybrid Exo-Vex bodies like this:

Yeah.

Now we need to keep coming back to this place to find out more. I'm hoping for more exceptionally fucked up voice lines like this and also more voice lines about the whole simulated scientists part because there's no way that this is all we'll get. Maya is going through the network, searching through simulations for her Chioma, or at least a Chioma that he thinks is the best of them, as narrated at the start of the act. She wants not only to bring a Golden Age to the whole system, she wants to have her personal Golden Age with the woman she loves.

And ofc at the end with the seasonal lore book page, we get some insight into this as well, more about Maya, her using the Veil, ending up in the Vex Network, making herself a body and how she was looking for Chioma.

I left the reach of the Veil's threads when I collided with the familiar angles of the Vex network… didn't I? Yes, I did.

Maya also seemed genuinely convinced that Chioma would be amazed and proud of this and that she would join her. But we know from Veil Logs that Chioma was instead horrified. And the Maya that entered the network and shaped herself a body and realised that she can command the Vex? Her first impulse was to search for Chioma. I am crying!

"TELL ME HOW LONG HAS PASSED SINCE I LAST ENCOUNTERED THE VEX." They do, through the Vex at my feet; they whisper it in unencoded ease. The number is gargantuan. I begin to panic. It is impossible, and my first thought is of her, her— "TELL ME WHERE CHIOMA ESI IS." They search, and they tell me the woman who holds my heart in her hands has laid in a grave for hundreds of years. In a rage, I tell them to mutilate one another. The milk at my feet boils in violence. My Chioma would not depart so mundanely. My Chioma would come find me, my Chioma is still here. My beloved does not rot in a grave.

And the thing is... She's correct. Her Chioma didn't depart mundanely. We know this from Veil Logs. Chioma called the Vex to take her.

Chioma Esi: Years ago, back on Venus, the Vex simulated copies of us — Maya and I. Trapped in a virtual hell. After so long, even hell can look like heaven, can't it? [chuckles] I'm tired. I'm done. Maya has to be out there. The Maya I remember. And all I want is one more moment with her. To hold her in my arms. Tell her that I love her. So she can tell me to "hush" one more time. If… if we learned anything from the Veil, it's that eventually… we all have to learn to let go. So… I made contact with the Vex. I'm ready. And it's time to say goodbye.

So there's a Maya looking for this Chioma and a Chioma looking for this Maya, somewhere in the network, among other 227 copies of them that have been through so much and some of them are also vanishing. This makes me insane. Hello. From this week's lore tab:

Chioma, my world, my life, cannot be dead. She must have joined the VexNet again; she would have searched for me there, sorted among the hundreds of copies of us to find the TRUE version of myself, HER Maya. So, too, will I search. I love her, I would know her in the darkness of a cave and the blinding glare of a sun. She is unique in all ways, precious and without fault. I know the real Chioma is alive.

Why are we here? Just to suffer about old woman yuri? Yes.

We also now know what "primary query" is:

"PRIMARY QUERY; FIND THE TRUE CHIOMA ESI," I command through my tears.

And yeah, the parallels with Osiris and Saint? So deliberate. I will explode. Osiris noted so a long time ago, also because of Veil Logs, how much Maya was similar to him. And they basically had the same goal; find the person they loved who was lost to them. Except Maya is doing this in a way that's deeply unhinged and hurting Chioma, while Osiris did it also deeply unhinged, but hurting himself. And listening to the Veil Logs and Chioma's perspective affected him greatly and genuinely was one of the biggest points for his development when he realised just how much obsession could've destroyed him and all he loves further if he didn't stop it.

It's all about Chioma and Maya. They're such an important piece of lore literally for ten years and now we're getting so much about them and their interactions together and all the pain and suffering. Please please please this has to end with them reuniting somehow. Please.

Anyway, wanted to point out some of these things that are connecting to older stuff, especially Aspect and also Veil Logs. I will be running this mission maybe another 100 or 10000 times. Looking forward for extra stuff in the next two weeks.

[captainkirkk]

🦇🎃 WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP 🎃🦇

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

Merlin

The Hunt for Red Emrys by darkbluedark

King Arthur sets out to keep his promise to the spirit of the Druid boy by repealing his father's ban on magic. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done, for reasons including but not limited to the following:

(1) He can't change the law until he understands magic better, but no sorcerer is willing to explain magic to him until he changes the law;

(2) The sorcerers all have some strange obsession with Merlin, which is awakening all sorts of feelings in Arthur that he really doesn't fancy examining too closely;

(3) He is starting to feel like the butt of some Druid-population-wide inside joke involving the mysterious phenomenon called Emrys; and

(4) Oh yeah, Morgana is still trying to kill him.

Thus he embarks on a journey of discovery, diplomacy, accountability, and self-improvement, and maybe even falls in love along the way.

Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-Kun

Kalego-sensei is...dead? by IcyPheonix

The Misfits come to school one day to discover that they have, a substitute teacher. They decide that this can only mean one thing; Kalego-sensei, has died.

He hasn't but that's not gonna stop them from pretending he has of course.

SVSSS

The Moon's Beloved Shadow by mofumofu

Shen Qingqiu is a man who hides his twin brother from the world with the ferocity of a phoenix-eyed mother crane.

Shen Yuan is a helpless transmigrator who wishes Airplane-bro had given even a single bit of backstory for this side character he's inhabiting!

Luo Binghe isn't doomed to face the Endless Abyss, but he is forced to confront something infinitely more frustrating: an overly protective brother.

Natsume Yuujinchou

What Colors Do You See In This Monochrome World by mermorgie.

Natori's voice brought him back to the present. "You alright there, Natsume?" The look the exorcist was giving him was warm and a tad concerned. Natsume gave him a small, but earnest smile. "I'm fine, Natori-san. Just a bit nervous." This was the truth. He had no idea why the head of the Matoba Clan invited him this time, but he was sure that the man was up to no good.

Or: Natsume gets invited to an exorcist meeting. He is not too happy about it, but at least the view is great.

Harry Potter

Three's Family by darkbluedark

It’s May 1979 and the Order has just apprehended a pair of mysterious wizards who look remarkably like a Potter and a Malfoy. Naturally, James Potter and Sirius Black are called in to identify the strangely familiar strangers and determine their backgrounds and loyalties.

(This would be a lot easier if their captives weren’t convinced everyone they talk to is dead. It would also be easier if they didn’t spend half their bloody time bickering.)

-

“Just ask them questions only they would know the answer to,” Malfoy suggests.

“There’s not a single thing that I know about either of them from the first war that any old Death Eater couldn’t find out.”

“How is that possible?” Malfoy huffs. “He’s your father!”

“Am I or am I not famously an orphan?” Potter snarls.

Once More Unto The Boggart by darkbluedark

Professor Lupin let out his breath very slowly. “So this is why you think you’ve been struggling to make progress with the Patronus charm? Because a part of you wants to let the dementor close, in a way, in order to hear your parents?”

Harry nodded again, though more guiltily this time. “I want to let the boggart out, just once, and, er, not cast the charm."

Those Who Have Seen by darkbluedark

Only those who have seen death can see thestrals.

It turns out, thestrals look different for those who have seen Death.

[dawneternal]

The Benevolent | Ten

☁︎ Eris x Healer OC

☁︎ notes: alternative title to this chapter could be "Aya goes to the night court and is intimidated by several attractive people."

Some of Aya's internal dialogue is inspired by I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young and a struggle with OCD.

I'm sorry it's been a while 💛 big big writing slump

☁︎ warnings: Rhysand being sneaky, Aya recounts a rough childhood, toxic/abusive parents, social anxiety

☁︎ word count: 4.8k

☁︎ AO3 Link / Masterlist

☁︎ taglist: @cauldronblssd @teddyhoneybear @tele86 @mybestfriendmademe @imma-too-many-fandoms @allyjoe755 @milswrites @shadowdaddies @zenkindoflove @landofpetrichor @secret-third-thing @bookwormysblog @mal-adaptive-dreams @daycourtofficial @roseodelle @sbgal

Rhysand was quick to answer Aya's inquiry. He promised to answer her questions to best of his abilities and invited her his home.

Aya gladly took the opportunity, with Velaris being a new discovery to the rest of Prythian. She would likely be one of the first visitors. That almost made Thesan agree to come, but his days were still too full.

The first thing Aya saw upon approaching were the layers of wards, forming a dome and encasing the city like a snow globe. The most recent one was marked with Rhysand's distinctive style of magic, an extra flourish of power with the essence of Illyrian magic.

The other wards went back in time, some so ancient they had melded with the fabric of the world to become nearly permanent. Whatever magic Hybern had used to penetrate this defense and attack the city must have been something deadly indeed. If Rhysand had not carved a spot for her today, her powers would not have made it through.

The wards had obscured the details of the city, like a sheer curtain over the landscape. With the curtain pulled away and the view revealed, Aya's breath caught in her throat. The first thing she saw was the winding sidra, crawling through the valley like a jeweled snake. To one side, the sea moved in a lazy reach toward the horizon. On the other, a wall of dark mountains curved around the outline of the city, forming a crescent moon shape.

Aya knew that the Illyrians lived in those mountains, as if they could not bear to be any further away from the sky. And beneath the ground, the Hewn City was carved into the stone of the mountain, like the darkness was the thing they prized most about the Night Court.

The House of Wind came into view, tall windows and white carved balconies jutting out from the mountain side. Rhysand appeared on one of them, his wings a dark smudge against the marble.

The wind carried the scent of the sea and the chill of the mountains, wrapping itself around her as she landed. Rhysand greeted her with a signature grin, hands tucked into his pockets as he watched her shake out her wings.

"Welcome to Velaris, Aya," He smiled. Aya had almost forgotten how smooth and lovely his voice was. She tucked her wings in tight and bowed, grateful for the opportunity to hide her flushed cheeks.

"Thank you for the invitation, High Lord."

"Please, call me Rhys," He said, eyes twinkling, "It's not very often someone agrees to visit the House of Wind."

Aya turned, glancing at the steep drop below the railing of the balcony. Growing up in the Dawn Court Palace, she had become accustomed to the threat of much steeper drops. The song of the wind, the itch in her wings to spread and fly dulled the fear.

"It's a beautiful view," She admitted, watching wisps of mist float by, obscuring little pieces of the city below.

"Thank you. It is my pride and joy. Besides my family, of course. And I have managed to keep my busybody brothers occupied for the time being, but they are very curious to meet you."

Aya smiled. There were many stories about the boisterous inner circle, about as well controlled as a pack of puppies. Having been raised with only Thesan for company, the idea of a large, chaotic family charmed her.

"I'm happy to meet them if the time allows.”

Rhysand led her inside to a spacious dining room, the tall moonstone ceiling looming above them. The windows were all half-open, letting sunshine and soft breezes swirl through the room, pulling the sheer curtains into a dance and illuminating the crystal dishes.

"So Aya," Rhysand began as he pulled out a chair for her, "I am very curious."

Aya sat in the plush velvet chair, admiring the way it had been made to accommodate wings. The Dawn Court opted for cushions and low tables.

"About a good many things," He continued, sitting across from her, "Firstly, why write to me instead of the Day Court?"

Rhysand snapped his fingers and the teapot rose of its own accord, floating over to fill her cup. She stared at the iridescent tea cup, watching the liquid rise, and decided to answer honestly.

"Helion seems to have a thing for wings," She said, and Rhysand tipped his head back and laughed.

"You're absolutely right," He chuckled.

"And...you have a mate," Aya averted her gaze again, pulling her lip between her teeth. Still, she could see his dark eyebrows raise in her peripheral.

"Well," He said, after it became clear that she did not plan on elaborating, "I will answer to the best of my abilities. But secondly-”

There was a twinkle that made her nervous as he paused, “I wonder how you enjoyed the High Lord's meeting. I suppose you had a good view from up there.”

Aya felt her eyes widen and her spine straighten.

“You saw me?”

“My spymaster’s shadows did.” Rhysand chuckled again.

“But you didn't say anything. How did you know I wasn't a spy?”

“The shadows identified you as Thesan's cousin. There's not much use for a spy at a meeting that Thesan was attending himself. I felt that it was safe to assume you were just curious. Am I right?”

He tilted his head to the side, stars dancing in his eyes.

“Yes,” She admitted, feeling a little bare beneath his teasing smile, and a little grateful that she was not scolded.

“And what did you think?”

A few answers came to mind, but none of them seem to be the right one. Beron is a scourge was among the first but it didn't feel like something she should say out loud. Even if Rhysand would agree.

Her palms began to feel a little sweaty. But Thesan would not have sent her if he thought the alliance between their courts would crumble due to Aya's conversational skills.

“It was interesting,” She said finally, and Rhysand smiled in response, “So many personalities in one place.”

“I’d certainly say it was a celebration of Prythian’s diversity,” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “But anyway, tell me about yourself, Aya. I know a good deal about a good many people, but I'm not familiar with your story."

Violet eyes watched intently over the rim of his cup as he took a sip of tea and waited for her response. Aya did the same, letting the drink linger on her tongue, savoring the taste of turmeric and ginger to stall for time.

She'd been asked similar questions before. There had been more than a few inquiries in her lifetime, ruthlessly sorting through her past to search for the source of her powers. She wanted to believe that Rhysand would not be one of them. But either way, the thing that she wanted was on the other side of opening up.

"My mother and Thesan's mother were twins," She began, hoping he did not notice the tightness of her voice, "Though they were opposites in personality. My aunt was doting and kind. My mother was...distant and jealous. They cared deeply for each other, though."

She paused and took another sip, letting the warmth spread through her body and thaw the frost that formed at the memory of her mother.

"I didn't know my father, but I got my wings from him. I was raised with Thesan by his parents. When Thesan's mother died, mine passed away shortly after. As if they could not stand to be apart. I'm not sure which one of my parents I got my powers from."

"Yes, you briefly mentioned your powers," Rhysand tilted his head to the side. She was grateful that he kept any pity off his features. He was welcome to pity her in his mind, but she did not care to see it.

"They are...a bit strange," She chewed her lip. She would rather talk about her powers than her parents, but it was still not particularly easy.

"I understand that feeling," He smiled, and it was then Aya remembered Thesan's first warning. To keep her mind shielded from Rhysand's powers. She wondered what it would look like when his power reached out toward her. But all she had seen so far were the wards encircling the House of Wind.

"I can see things that others can't," She started, hoping he did not notice her pause as she checked her shields. Were his powers present all the time like hers? Or did he have to make a conscious effort to use them?

"The dead?" He asked, as if it were not a strange question at all, though his features had grown more serious.

"Magic. Personalities. Wards, spells, wounds. I've watched souls depart to the afterlife, but once they are gone I can't see them anymore."

Rhysand nodded slowly, his eyes far away like he was skimming through pages in his mind. Those dark brows had knit together in focus, his fingers threaded together on the table.

"Not the future, or the past?" He asked, gaze still focused elsewhere.

"No," She said, "Only the world around me. For example, I can see the wards around Velaris and the outline of your wings."

Rhysand's eyebrows flickered upwards. Indeed, she could see the wings he hid with magic, hovering behind him as if they were here but invisible.

"I suppose it helps your healing to be able to see what you are doing," He said.

"Yes, but I only see things when my eyes are closed. And people are represented by an object of their essence."

The space between his eyebrows softened, eyes igniting with interest.

"Do explain."

Aya hesitated, unsure where to begin.

"Your general," She started, noting the flicker of a smile pass over the High Lord's face, “Healing his wounds is like knitting. With homespun wool yarn and wooden knitting needles. It's been mended in so many places I couldn't count them all.”

“You have no idea how many homespun wool sweaters I wore in Windhaven,” His voice held something like reverence, “Grey and white like everything else in those mountains. Very warm, though.”

“Thesan is a vase,” Aya went on, “cracked all over and repaired with burnished gold. In the shape of traditional pottery from our court.”

Rhysand's eyes held so much curiosity that Aya had no trouble reading the question he held back behind pursed lips.

“You are a quilt,” She indulged his questioning glance, “And each block is made of a different night sky, likely important ones through your lifetime.”

The High Lord's face shifted into something unreadable, a muscle ticking in his jaw.

“And there are stars,” Aya studied his expression closely, fidgeting with her hands under the table, “Silver stars stitched on with silver thread. The stars eternal.”

Rhysand's gaze snapped over to her, and Aya closed her mouth tight. It was another moment before he said anything, and anxiety began to creep in as she waited to be told she had said something wrong.

“My mother was a seamstress,” He said, softly. And that was all. Aya let her shoulders fall again.

He took another sip of tea and cleared his throat.

“I have heard of those that can see beyond the rest of us. It is a type of ability in the same branch as the daemati, and just as rare. They are called the videmati. Some of them had a third eye tattooed on themselves out of pride.”

All of the breath left Aya's lungs as she stared at him. An answer, after all this time.

“There's a name for it?” She croaked.

Rhysand nodded. “The bad news is that no one has known of a videmati in Prythian since before I was born. I do not know if the same goes for the continent. I have also never heard of videmati powers having combined with healing powers, but it's possible you may have inherited multiple forms of magic. Being a healer may be what gives you the ability to interact with what you see. I may have more information in my library.”

“What can I pay you for it?” Aya blurted as she leaned in, desperate for more breadcrumbs.

Rhysand chuckled, a sound not at all pure in its joy. He took another long sip of tea, leaving Aya struggling to keep still in her anticipation. Perhaps she should not have suggested a price. Maybe then it would have been free. Violet eyes bored into her, openly calculating.

“Owe me a favor?” He said finally, tilting his head to the side, his smile something vulpine.

Perhaps it was too harsh of an interpretation, but she had remembered too late what Thesan's second warning had been. That Rhysand was, at heart, a collector.

“What kind of favor?” Aya straightened her shoulders, reigning in her desperation, pulling her poise back over herself like a shroud. As intensely as she wished for more information, she had never let herself be used for her powers and she would not begin now.

“Only a favor that a friend would ask of a friend.” It was strange, how a pair of eyes could hold both the brightness of the moon and the inky blackness of the night.

“You're asking to be my friend?”

Rhysand held out his hand.

“A friend wouldn't use a friend for their powers, would they?”

Had her shields been down? Had he heard her thoughts, or was she that easy to read? She blinked slowly to catch a glimpse of that other space. Midnight darkness enveloped her mind and the silver stars blinked back at her, steady as always and revealing no hint of Rhysand's motive.

Videmati, Aya repeated the word in her mind, savoring the taste of knowing what she was. She reached out and shook the High Lord's hand.

The familiar snap and sting of magic prickled her skin, revealing a band of interlocking swirls and stars around her forearm. She brushed her fingers over it, the hand with Edana's ring, and tried to swallow the sinking feeling in her stomach.

“That looks like the sidra,” Rhysand smiled.

He obviously shared her affinity for tattoos, judging by the artwork peeking out around his sleeves and collar. But Aya usually liked to pick her own, even if the Night Court style was pretty.

“So,” He went on as Aya whirled from the weight of another bargain, “You did very well in the war.”

His gaze had not become any less predatory. Could he not have thought of a more subtle way to broach the subject?

“Thank you,” Aya murmured, lowering her eyes to the tiny rainbows the sunlight cast through the dishes.

“You mentioned that you've only had training for your healing. Have you ever considered what you might do with your other skill set?”

Aya forced herself to hold her teacup steady. To take a calm sip and return the cup to the table. The liquid still rippled, despite her efforts, and she was sure that Rhysand saw it too.

"I have considered that I may help a great many people in my lifetime," She said, swallowing the bite that threatened to claw up her throat.

"Indeed," He nodded, "But what about the other end of the spectrum? You heal with less effort than it takes for you to fly. If you channeled your thoughts in another direction-”

"I have not," Aya loosened the leash on her temper, just a touch, "and I will not. Ever.”

Rhysand's eyes narrowed. Not in anger, but in challenge. And the tone of a gracious host had hardened into something belonging to a leader.

"Your power could have been an incredible asset.”

He may have promised not to use her for her power, but he would try to convince her. Aya cursed herself for always falling for these stupid tricks and games. What would Eris have done? He would have seen right through Rhysand. Somehow, Aya could see into the ether but still stumbled through her interactions. She could see the grander picture of a person's being, and still could not guess what they might do or say next.

"I do not have to kill just because it would be easy for me." She dropped the tone of a gracious guest.

Rhysand blinked. He was quiet for a moment, a silence she could not read the meaning of. She used the time to picture herself dropping ice into the vat of bubbling lava that was her anger. Anger at Rhysand and at herself. At her powers for being so convoluted.

"It would be easy for you though," He said quietly, a question and a statement.

Yes. It would be. She had never tried, but she knew it.

It haunted her. Sometimes the thought came to her as she was healing, how easily she could tear a life from this world. It made her hands tremble so terribly that she could not work and reminding herself of her dedication to goodness did nothing to help. Her thoughts became a prayer, then. A desperate plea to any deity that would listen.

I'll be good I'll be good I'll be good.

The high Lord's voice interrupted her spiral.

"There was more you wanted to ask me, wasn't there?" He said, changing the subject even though she had never answered him. His tone was apologetic, eyes looking a little sad.

Had her mental shields been down? She couldn't tell.

"Yes," Aya swallowed hard, shoving down every thought and feeling with skill honed over nearly a century. It was difficult to continue to peel herself open in front of him, but she had to.

"I have questions...about the mating bond.”

Rhysand only raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue.

"I would like to know if one is able to create a mating bond with their own magic,” She did not avert her gaze, though she wanted to. And though she knew her cheeks burned deep red.

"I don't think so," Rhysand said slowly, his eyes far away as he sorted through his knowledge of magic, "It is the Mother who decides the bonds. Though perhaps it's possible to uncover a match that has already been decided.”

Aya's heart twisted, an ache filling her chest.

"Did you see it, as it happened?"

"At the battle with Hybern," She nodded, and Rhysand winced.

"Not the loveliest place to discover the bond," He grimaced.

"No," Aya agreed, voice laced with bitterness, "I was healing. Mending a tapestry. The thread turned to gold and it was attached to my finger."

"That sounds like you were given the gift of witnessing your bond snap," He said softly, with something like awe.

"So I didn't make it myself?" She asked, her posture wrought with worry, "I didn't...trap him?”

"Ah," Rhysand shook his head, "I don't think you need to worry. I think you both had the same amount of choice in it that the rest of us do."

Relief flooded through Aya's body, washing away those weeks of anxiety and guilt.

"Have you told him?" He asked, so carefully, so gently. Edged with a noseiness that would have amused Aya if the matter were not so painful. So he was not just a collector of powerful people then, but of gossip as well. And the earnest sparkle of his eyes was that of a romantic. How quickly he could change faces.

This tenderness was such a contrast to the growls and snarls at the High Lord's meeting. To the man who disintegrated a thousand men with the flick of his wrist. And the one who had questioned her magic like a warlord eyeing weapons for his arsenal. If his fae body could house both a monster and a friend, maybe hers could too.

Aya did not answer, only pursed her lips and looked away. In her daydreams, she had never been in this position. Having to tell someone she cared for that they were stuck with her. In her daydreams, she had always been chosen.

His eyes glittered with an amusement that she did not understand. Some story about him and his mate, surely. Usually, she would have loved to hear such a story. But everything related to love and mates left a sour taste on her tongue. Rhysand must have sensed this. His smile faded, turning into something more empathetic. He opened his mouth to say something else but stopped, his gaze shifting to something beyond the open windows.

Aya turned her head toward the balcony, where the beating of wings rolled through the air like thunder. The general and the shadowsinger approached in the sky, each with a figure in their arms. Rhysand stood and Aya copied, gulping down her nerves.

The Illyrians landed with ease, the motion perfected by centuries in the sky. They released their passengers - the High Lady and her oldest sister. Feyre wore an easy smile, but her sister looked uncomfortable at best. Their wardrobe reflected the dark jewel tones of the Night Court, velvet skirts and sheer embroidered sleeves.

"Come in, busybodies," Rhysand called, perking up in the presence of his wife. His eyes were glued to her, gleaming with love as he followed her every move.

"Aya, I'm so glad you decided to visit Velaris," Feyre greeted, her voice warm and friendly as she held out her hand for Aya to shake. “This is my sister, Nesta.”

Nesta gave a brief, tiny smile, before crossing her arms and closing in on herself again.

“I know you've met Cassian,” Rhysand said before any silence could fall.

The General grinned and followed suit, shaking her hand with a crushing grip.

"It's great to officially meet you," He said, "After all the patching up you've done. Thank you for that, by the way. You do great work."

He stepped back to let his brother speak, but the Shadowsinger did not offer his hand. In fact, he tucked them farther into his body. Though tendrils of his shadows reached toward Aya's ankles, wrapping around them. She almost jumped at the feeling, like a cool mist brushing her skin.

"Sorry," Azriel mumbled, and Aya could have sworn a blush ghosted over his cheeks. "They're curious."

Aya did not miss the way Rhysand's eyebrows raised at this statement, but she ignored it, unsure what any of it meant.

"So," Cassian said, when the introductions were complete, "Can I see?"

He motioned to her wings and the High Lady scolded him under her breath. Aya's cheeks flushed but she obliged, taking a step back and spreading her wings wide.

"You've never seen feathered wings up close?" She asked as Cassian began circling her wings, observing with reverence.

"It's been a few centuries," He replied, "And Dawn seems to be a pretty reserved bunch."

"That's true," Aya had to smile at that, picturing Thesan's expression if Cassian were to ask to look at his wings.

"They are lovely," Feyre said softly, her gaze tracking over the details of her feathers.

"Thank you," Aya resisted the urge to wrap her wings around her body to hide from their curious eyes.

"Do you see that?" Cassian had stopped behind her, arms spread wide. Her wings extended far past his fingertips. He spread his own wings to compare and found that hers spanned farther.

"Longer than Az's," He grinned, earning a smirk from Nesta and a stifled giggle from Feyre.

"Shut up, Cass." Azriel muttered, that lovely shade of pink spreading over his ears again.

Aya bit down on her smile. She did not have the heart to tell them that Dawn Court wings were often larger than Illyrian ones.

Cassian finished his circling, facing her once more, and clapped his hands together.

"I thought of something on the way here," He grinned, and the rest of the group groaned. "We should have you compete with Helion. See which one of you could break through a ward first. It would be so entertaining."

Aya went still, eyes flicking over to the Shadowsinger. Had his shadows told him about her powers? Or maybe Rhysand had been that quick to tell his circle what he had learned? Both options made her chest feel tight.

Azriel did not shirk from her stare, but he offered no answers, either. Cassian did not seem to understand what he had revealed, waiting for an answer. So Aya only smiled and said,

"I'm not sure he could survive the blow to his ego."

Her hosts roared with laughter, and she hoped no one noticed that her smile did not reach her eyes.

The group meandered toward the dining table, and Aya caught a flash of deep blue from the corner of her eye as the High Lady's sister slipped away toward the hallway. She had almost disappeared from view when Rhysand's voice cut through the light chatter.

"Nesta," He said, and Aya watched the girl's shoulders stiffen before she turned around. Her expression was disinterested at best, but Aya could see something burning within her. And for reasons she didn't know, the sound of the High Lord's voice had stoked the flames.

"Are you headed to the library?" He continued, unaffected. One nod from Nesta. "Will you please take Aya with you?"

Nesta's gaze flicked over to Aya, raking slowly down her form. Aya had to fight the urge to squirm under her stare, something in it so reminiscent of the Autumn Court. Whatever Nesta found in her assessment had her face softening just the slightest amount. Almost imperceptibly.

Rhysand had gone back to the conversation at the table, as if he had no doubt that Nesta would follow his order. Either unaware or uncaring that she had been seemingly deciding whether or not to do so.

"Follow me," Nesta said, her voice low and scratchy. Aya swallowed hard, leaving behind the sound of soft laughter as she followed the girl into the dark hall.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

Nesta led Aya through a set of ornate doors into the spacious library. It was surprisingly bright, lined with tall windows, the sunlight pouring in and illuminating swirling specks of dust. Twin alcoves faced each other on either side of the room, filled with velvet chairs and couches and stone fireplaces.

Without another word, Nesta disappeared between the rows of dark wood shelves and left Aya alone in the silence. Aya stood still for a moment, shifting her weight from foot to foot. When it became clear that Nesta would be offering no further instruction, she got to work scanning every title of every book within sight. The shelves spanned from the floor to the tall ceiling, but she could see almost to the top.

Time was lost to her as she hunted, pulled into a trance by the musty smell of the books and the cozy atmosphere of the library. She'd just added another book to her small stack when a voice startled her.

"What were you talking to Rhysand about?"

Aya jumped, wings flaring out to keep her from tumbling off the ladder. She stared down at Nesta for a moment, those intense silver eyes watching back unblinking, a few books tucked tightly into the girl's crossed arms.

"Um," Aya stammered, making her way back down the ladder.

Standing before Nesta made her heart beat a little faster. Nesta was taller than her, staring down the slope of her straight nose as she waited for an answer. Her beauty was as blunt as her words, angular and sharp. Somehow still lovely, in the way that a finely crafted sword could be. But the way that that she held herself, the invisible wall that she carried with her, told Aya that Nesta's heart was unreachable.

"I just had a few questions," She said, stooping to pick up her books and avoid Nesta's gaze for a moment.

Nesta tilted her head, appraising Aya again.

"Don't listen too carefully," She said.

"What?"

Nesta began to make her way back to the doorway, continuing over her shoulder, "I just think you shouldn't let anyone tell you who you should be. Or what you should become. Especially him."

There was a bite in the last words and it made Aya remember the new tattoo on her forearm. She shivered, wondering what more Nesta may know, wondering again what she had gotten herself into. But it seemed that this was all the information that Nesta was going to grace her with.

"You coming?" She called, not stopping this time.

Aya nodded, shuffling after her.

Just before she reached the door, Nesta's voice caught her once more, brushing against her skin like a soft breeze. Nesta was far enough ahead that it should have been hard to hear her, but it was like something had carried Nesta's words to her. Not a breeze, but a gust of magic.

"You're looking for information about your powers?" Nesta asked.

"Yes," Aya breathed.

And Nesta offered her a small smile. The first Aya had seen since she arrived. "I will see what I can do."

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

Note on Aya's powers - I couldn't really find anything when searching the word daemati so I just made up my own and added 'vide' to mati

[astroamorsworld]

What does this New Moon in Taurus have in store for your rising sign?

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On the 8th May 4:33am UK time, there will be a New Moon in Taurus. So what does this mean for your rising sign?

Aries Rising: With this New Moon activating your 2nd house of finances and possessions, it's prime time to focus on building your sense of security! This New Moon energy is like a blank check for your financial future. This is your chance to get serious about your money. Do you want to finally create a budget? Increase your income? Treat yourself to something special but within reason? The New Moon encourages clear intentions. The stuff you own should reflect who you are. This might mean decluttering and getting rid of things that no longer spark joy, or saving up for that high-quality item you've been wanting👀. This New Moon is also about taking a slower, more strategic approach. Avoid impulsive purchases and focus on long-term plans that bring lasting security. A tip from me would be to Repeat positive affirmations about abundance and achieving your financial goals. Visualisation is powerful too – imagine yourself reaching your financial dreams!

Taurus Rising: This New Moon illuminates your 1st house, all about self-expression, confidence, and how you want to be perceived. It's your chance to embrace your unique qualities and let your inner light shine. Been wanting a new hairstyle, wardrobe update, or to cultivate a different vibe? This New Moon supports positive changes to your physical appearance or overall persona. The New Moon encourages connecting with your inner strength and values. When you feel good about who you are on the inside, it radiates outwards with confidence. Spend some time reflecting on what truly matters to you. A tip from me? Don't just dream it, embody it! This New Moon isn't just about introspection, it's about taking action to step into the best version of yourself. Start small with something that makes you feel empowered, like trying a new outfit or joining a class that interests you.

Gemini Rising: Since this New Moon lands in your 12th house, you’re gonna wanna pay attention to your dreams and intuition during this time. They might be offering valuable insights or nudges about what needs to be released or healed on a deeper level. Journaling or meditation can be helpful for deciphering these messages. The 12th house is associated with endings and letting go. This New Moon could prompt you to release limiting beliefs, past hurts, or negative self-talk that have been holding you back. It's a time for emotional cleansing and forgiveness. While the 12th house deals with endings, it's also about new beginnings on a subconscious level. The New Moon here is like planting a seed for personal growth and transformation. You might not see the results immediately, but trust that this inner work will pay off in the long run. Want advice from me? This New Moon isn't about outward action, but about introspection and self-discovery. Give yourself permission to take some quiet time for solitude and reflection. Disconnect from the busyness of the world and reconnect with your inner voice.

Cancer rising: This New Moon is landing in your 11th house, of hopes, wishes, and the company you keep. This New Moon energy is like rocket fuel for your social circle. It's a great time to reconnect with old friends, expand your network, or even attract new soul connections who share your aspirations. Feeling inspired? This New Moon is the perfect excuse to whip out a vision board and get clear on your long-term goals. Focus on what you hope to achieve, the kind of life you want to build, and the people you want to share it with. The 11th house also deals with social causes and movements. This New Moon might spark your interest in a particular cause or inspire you to collaborate with others to make a positive impact. Here’s my two cents - Believe in your dreams, nurture your connections, and take inspired action – the Universe is conspiring to help you bring your visions to life!

Leo Rising: With this New Moon falling in your 10th house, this New Moon is all about leveling up your professional life. Feeling stuck in a rut? This lunar energy ignites your ambition and motivates you to pursue your goals with renewed fire. Believe in your talents and don't be afraid to showcase them! The 10th house is all about how you're perceived by the world. This New Moon is the perfect time to refine your personal brand and make a lasting impression, whether it's through a captivating presentation, a bold social media presence, or even simply exuding confidence in your interactions. Natural leaders like yourself might find new opportunities to step into positions of authority. This New Moon empowers you to inspire and motivate others with your vision and charisma. Embrace your leadership qualities and guide your team towards success. My advice? Don't be afraid to put yourself out there! This New Moon encourages you to embrace the spotlight and share your talents with the world. Whether it's starting a YouTube channel, giving a presentation, or simply taking center stage at a social gathering, this is your moment to shine!

Virgo Rising: The 9th house is all about expanding your horizons and seeking knowledge. This New Moon is like a cosmic invitation to embark on a learning journey. Maybe it's signing up for a new course, devouring a stack of travel books, or diving deep into a philosophical topic that's piqued your interest. While the 9th house can ignite wanderlust, this New Moon with Taurus's grounding influence might inspire a more meaningful travel experience. Consider a trip with a focus on cultural immersion, historical exploration, or learning a new language. The 9th house also deals with belief systems and philosophies. This New Moon might prompt you to explore different perspectives or challenge your own limiting beliefs. Don't be afraid to question the status quo and seek out new ways of thinking. My advice - While the 9th house deals with exploration, it also encourages setting long-term goals and aspirations. This New Moon is a powerful time to envision your dream life and the experiences you want to have. Planting these seeds of intention now will guide you towards a fulfilling future.

Libra Rising: The 8th house is all about emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and merging with another. This New Moon energy can deepen your existing relationships or spark a new, intense connection. Be open to exploring intimacy on a deeper level, but remember, true intimacy requires vulnerability from both sides. The 8th house also deals with transformation and letting go. This New Moon might bring up past hurts or unresolved issues related to intimacy or shared resources. Don't shy away from these shadows – facing them head-on allows for healing and growth. For some Libra Risings, this New Moon could influence financial partnerships, investments, or inheritances. Proceed with caution with any financial decisions during this time, and prioritize open communication with partners involved. What i think - The 8th house encourages us to release what no longer serves us. This New Moon might prompt you to let go of emotional baggage, unhealthy attachments, or limiting beliefs that are hindering your growth. Embrace the power of forgiveness and release to create space for new beginnings.

Scorpio rising: The 7th house is all about one-on-one relationships, both personal and professional. For Scorpios who are single, this New Moon could spark a powerful new connection with someone who shares your intensity and depth. For those already coupled, this lunation encourages taking your relationship to a new level of intimacy and commitment. The 7th house also deals with teamwork and collaboration. This New Moon might bring opportunities to partner with others on creative projects or professional endeavors. The key here is finding collaborators who share your vision and complement your strengths. While Scorpios crave connection, they also value depth over superficiality. This New Moon encourages you to prioritize quality over quantity in your relationships. Be discerning about who you let into your inner circle and focus on cultivating deep, meaningful connections. Want ny opinion? Scorpio's emotional intensity can be both a gift and a challenge. This New Moon encourages you to be honest and vulnerable with your partners, both in expressing your desires and acknowledging potential power struggles. Open communication is key for building strong, lasting partnerships.

Sagittarius Rising: The 6th house is all about organization, productivity, and creating healthy habits. This New Moon is the perfect time to re-evaluate your daily schedule and make adjustments that support your well-being. Consider incorporating exercise routines, healthy meal planning, or creating a sleep schedule that fuels your body and mind. Feeling a bit sluggish? This New Moon in grounded Taurus encourages prioritizing your physical health. Schedule a check-up with your doctor, explore healthy eating habits, or consider a new workout routine. Remember, a healthy body fuels a vibrant spirit! Sagittarius’ are known for their adventurous spirit, but neglecting daily routines can lead to burnout. This New Moon encourages finding a balance between your work and personal life. Creating a structured schedule can actually free up more time for your passions and explorations. Want my advice? Let's face it, routines can feel restrictive at times. This New Moon whispers that even the mundane can be approached with your signature enthusiasm. Transform your chores into mini-adventures, find joy in healthy eating, and use your creativity to make even the most routine tasks engaging.

Capricorn Rising: The 5th house is all about self-expression, joy, and creative pursuits. This New Moon ignites a desire to explore your artistic talents, whether it's writing, painting, music, or any other creative outlet that sparks your joy. Don't be afraid to experiment and have fun! Are you feeling a bit disconnected from your hobbies or passions lately? This New Moon is the perfect opportunity to rekindle that spark. Dust off your creative tools, revisit an old project, or sign up for a new class to reignite your creative fire. Capricorns are known for their work ethic, but sometimes work can overshadow fun. This New Moon encourages you to find ways to integrate your passions into your professional life. Maybe there's a way to add a creative element to your work, or perhaps you can pursue a creative side hustle. Advice? The 5th house also governs love and romance. For Capricorns in relationships, this New Moon could spark a more playful and romantic dynamic. Plan a date night that's fun and lighthearted, or surprise your partner with a creative gesture of love.

Aquarius Rising: The 4th house is all about creating a safe and nurturing environment. This New Moon energy is like a cosmic home improvement project! Think about ways to make your living space feel more comfortable, stylish, or reflective of your unique personality. Decluttering, rearranging furniture, or adding some personal touches can make a big difference. The 4th house also deals with family dynamics. This New Moon could prompt you to reconnect with loved ones or mend any strained relationships within your family. Open communication and expressing your emotional needs can strengthen your family bond. For some Aquarius Risings, the concept of "home" might be unconventional. This New Moon encourages you to define what "home" means to you on a deeper level. Maybe it's a physical space, a sense of community, or a feeling of belonging. Embrace your unique definition of home and create a space that truly nourishes you. Advice - The 4th house is also associated with emotional security. This New Moon might prompt you to address any emotional baggage or limiting beliefs related to your upbringing. Healing past hurts and fostering emotional self-reliance can create a strong foundation for your future.

Pisces Rising: The 3rd house governs communication, both written and verbal. This New Moon in artistic Taurus awakens your creative side and encourages you to express yourself with more depth and feeling. Whether it's journaling, poetry, or simply more heartfelt conversations, embrace your artistic voice and share it with the world. Pisces are known for their intuition, and Taurus brings grounding energy. This New Moon creates a beautiful blend of intuition and logic in your communication. You'll be able to express complex ideas with clarity while weaving in your unique emotional perspective. The 3rd house also deals with close relationships, particularly siblings, neighbors, and classmates. This New Moon fosters a more empathetic and compassionate communication style, allowing you to connect with others on a deeper emotional level. For Pisces Rising, learning often comes through intuition and emotional connection. This New Moon amplifies this ability. Pay attention to your gut feelings and emotional responses as you learn something new. They might hold valuable insights waiting to be unlocked. Advice - you have a gift for empathy and compassion, and this New Moon encourages you to use these qualities in your communication. Listen deeply to others, express yourself with kindness, and don't be afraid to share your unique perspective. The world needs your voice!

Check my pinned post for more!💖

[dreamofjoys]

— 𝗖𝗛𝗣 𝟭 𝗪𝗔𝗟𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗨𝗣𝗢𝗡 𝗔 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠

→ this chapter is part of a series that I am working on. please visit here for more information before proceeding to read

→c/w: fem reader

→ prologue (previous) / chapter 2 (next)

Your eyes shot open, blinking once and twice to adjust to the darkness. Sitting up on your bed, you sighed, realising that it's one of those weird dreams that you were having ever since you have landed in twisted wonderland. Well, you are in a world full of magic, so it's normal to experience things that are considered out of the norm, right?

The crescent moon hung high above the night sky, an indication that it was still late at night. Seeing as how you are wide awake now, you decide it would be best to take a night stroll around ramshackle dorm. Slipping in your sandals, you opened and closed the door quietly, careful not to wake up the cat that was currently snoozing away on the couch.

The cold air hits your body the moment you exited the dorm, making you cross your arms over each other as an attempt to warm yourself up before proceeding on to your usual route. Ramshackle is located in a desolated space, so it shouldn't be a surprise at how eerily silent and dead the entire area is. You ignored the chills that were running down your spine, focusing to walk on the path that you usually take whenever you go on a stroll.

A little deeper. You thought, further stepping into the dark forest that just lies outside of the broken dorm. You weren't one to venture into a forest in the middle of the night just for a stroll. In fact, you could literally shit yourself in your pants right now from how dark the forest it. You don't have super eyesight for night vision, what if you trip and fall onto something?

However, there was a desire burning inside you that overcomes your fear of the unknown. Just a little bit more, he should be here-

"Child of man?"

A deep melancholy voice pulls you away from your thoughts. Instantly, you turn to face the man that you have been pining for ever since the both of you met in this same exact place. "Tsunotarou!" You smiled widely, feeling delighted to meet the dark fae - also the very reason why you decided to venture into this dark woods.

“Hm, your eyes seems a little puffy today. Did you just woke up?” Due to the height difference, Malleus had to peer his neck down to look at you. "Ah yes, I just woke up. But I couldn't fall back asleep so I decided to walk around the woods, uh, ACHOO-"

Your hands immediately fly up to cover your mouth, feeling embarrassed that your conversation has been interrupted by a mere sneeze. "Sorry about that, tsunotarou." Malleus hums, observing your small hands rubbing on each other to create some warmth for your cold body. He notes that you are only wearing a thin cotton layer of night gown that does little to provide warm. The tip of your nose and the plane of your cheeks were red, your body slightly shivering from the night air.

"You are catching a cold." Malleus commented, seeing the small goosebumps appearing on your skin. "It's fine, I have a strong immune system! I won't get sick easily." You tried brushing off the topic, hoping that Malleus would start rambling about one of his ruin discoveries, but Malleus only looks at you with a serious expression, his dark lips pressing into thin line.

Letting out a sigh, Malleus snaps his fingers, and a piece of cloth suddenly appeared out of nowhere. The cloth, or rather the shawl, lands on your shoulders nicely, covering your upper chest. You stare at the shawl in awe, mesmerized by the gold and green embroidery that thread into roses, decorating around the border of the shawl. The fabric itself is a soft black colour. Somehow, the colour palette reminds you of Malleus.

"You can keep this, it's made of high quality fabric that are meant to prevent one from getting cold." Malleus reaches out to help you wrap the shawl around your neck area properly. His movements were soft and delicate, making sure that it's not wrapped too tightly, careful to not let himself touch you inappropriately.

You were glad that your cheeks were already red. If not, you won't know of any idea to explain the reason behind your tomato face.

"Th-thank you." You almost slapped yourself for sounding so pathetic.

"No problem. Let me escort you back to the dorm, it's dangerous to leave a young lady like you alone."

The walk back to the dorm felt way faster than when you came out at first. You and Malleus were both engrossed in the conversation, sharing about your days, talking about the recent VDC competition, and basically whatever that the both of you had in mind.

Within a blink of an eye, the both of you had already reached the entrance of Ramshackle dorm. You were still laughing at one of Malleus's jokes, well, poorly attempted joke since you were only laughing at his failed attempt. When you set your eyes upon the familiar set of doors, your laughter starts dying down, and your expression seems down a little.

Fortunately for you, Malleus is an observant person. "Don't worry, we can still hang out tomorrow." To anyone, he would have sound like a sarcastic person. But you know better that despite his lack of expression, giving you words of affirmation was just one of his ways to comfort you.

"Okay! See you tomorrow then, tsunotarou! Goodnight!" You turned to face him with a bright smile, waving goodnight and thanks to your friend. The moonlight shines on your face, making you glow brightly. Malleus watch you retreat back to your dorm. His sharp ears detecting your loud footsteps thumping up the stairs and into your room. It seems like you were giggling at something. Has his promise to hang out with you tomorrow excites you so much?

For the first time in his life, Malleus felt his heart skipped a beat.

♡♡♡♡♡

You were elated when Malleus had first asked you to hang out with him, so much so that you were skipping your way down the hallways and into your room.

As you dive back under your covers, the shawl that he had gifted you was still wrapped around your neck, and it was definitely something that you would treasure greatly. You bury your nose into the neck, snuggling against the warmth that Malleus had provided you. It would be good if his scent was on it-

No. You shake your head off those thoughts. Your feelings towards Malleus is nothing more than a puppy crush. You were painstakingly well aware about the differences between you and Malleus. You, a commoner without any magic. And Malleus, a SSR Magician that can literally change the weather on his will. Besides, you were going to return home soon anyway, what benefit would it bring to love someone who is going to be worlds away from you?

Shutting your eyes, you decided to just sleep and get over it.Those feelings won't last. You thought to yourself minutes before dozing off the dreamland. But somehow, those thoughts hurts.

♡♡♡♡♡

You start wondering if the sight that you are seeing infront of you is real.

There was 2 figure sitting together under a tree, watching sunset together. The taller figure, who seems like a woman, was leaning her head on the other person's shoulders. The other person, whose figure resembles a man, was holding up a strawberry, pressing it onto the woman's lips. The woman opened her mouth, revealing what seems to be a pair of fangs before taking a bite on the fruit.

Your vision was hazy and blurry, but you could still deduce that both figure were talking and laughing - though you couldn't hear them at all. Judging by the loving gestures, they were both lovers.

It's a dream again. You thought to yourself, wondering if this scene it's just a part of the movie that you had watch back on earth.

Geez, have you miss earth so much that you are dreaming about movies now? It's probably about time for you to wake up.

You couldn't control your body or speak in the dream. You had concluded that your brain was just making up weird fantasies, not until you notice both pair of figures facing you, almost as if they have finally noticed your presence. The woman's mouth opened, she was speaking but you couldn't hear her. Heck, you don't even know how they look like given the hazy situation.

Both figures starts rushing towards you in a frantic manner, but before they could touch you, you had woken up in cold sweat.

Your hands immediately reaching up to pull the shawl close to you, seeking comfort to calm down your frantic nightmare. That was definitely one hell of a nightmare.

[thoughtsonhurtandcomfort]

Shun the Light - Ch 15 - The Bunker

Slow Burn | Refuge | Decision | Mend | Hunger | Thin Mints | The Garden | Philip | Moments | Full Moon pt 1 | Full Moon pt 2 | Tend | Absolution | The Talk | Scars |

Author's Notes: Consider....vampirism and lycanthropy as disability? If you take a less fantastical and more naturalistic look, both are changes to the mind and body that make existing in a society difficult. Just something I've been thinking about.

Some more bonding, some #justvampirethings, some full moon dread. Thanks to everyone who has read this far. <3

Content Warnings: werewolf whumpee, vampire whumpee + caretaker, not much else just some angst, dread, mentions of blood

----

Sometimes, when he wakes at dusk, Dante forgets that he isn't alone in the house.

Dante learned early on that being mostly-dead is pretty hard on the body. Many of the systems that keep people alive also keep them comfortable, and so he has built habits to deal with the discomforts.

His throat is always parched, so he keeps a little cup of blood by the bed to get moving. His body is stiff from sleeping very still, so he does stretches.

And then there's thermoregulation, or the lack thereof. On cold days his skin becomes tingling, oversensitive, even numb, and in the summer he frequently suffers from heat exhaustion. Both make hunting difficult, so on mild days he stocks up on blood for his fridge, and he keeps his bedroom at a consistent temperature year round.

After his stretches he exits his bedroom wearing Philip's old silk robe and slippers, grabs a jar of blood from the fridge - calling it a 'cup of Joe' like Mr. Townsend used to - and settles into his chair for an evening gameshow.

That is usually when he remembers he has a guest, in the form of Matteo sprawled on the couch with the remote control already in his hand.

Tonight he is there as expected...but something is off. Matteo is sitting at one corner of the couch with his arms around himself, staring straight ahead. When Dante greets him he barely reacts.

"Matteo?"

"Mm."

"What's wrong?"

"Just a few days left."

As if to prove his point, the waxing moon peeks out from behind a cloud. Dante pulls the curtain shut.

"It never gets easier," Matteo says softly. "I get so anxious that I can barely eat or sleep, which only makes things worse..."

It's been hard to shake the memory of seeing Matteo's violent transformation, he can't imagine living it.

"I can make you do both of those things," Dante offers, realizing too late how creepy it sounds.

Matteo only smiles, though it doesn't reach his eyes. "Thanks."

"Do you want to see the shelter? Maybe that will help."

"Yeah, sure. Why not."

-

It's a bit like opening a time capsule. The bunker hasn't been touched since the 1960s, everything exactly the way Mr. Townsend left it the last time he went down to check expiration dates.

Against one wall is a shelf stacked with supplies, books, canned food and water, a radio and a box of ammunition. Cot-style beds line the other two walls, one a bunk bed and the other a single.

"Only three beds?"

Dante shrugs. "They didn't like me and dad that much. So, what do you think?"

Matteo steps inside and looks around. "We should probably remove anything that isn't attached...the wolf will just wreck it all anyway. You'll find me covered in canned peaches in the morning."

"Those probably need to go anyway. Okay, we can do that. What else?"

"I guess that's all." he still seems uncertain.

"Matteo..." Dante joins him in the small room. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"No, it's not that. This is a good idea. I can't hurt anyone here. It's this or chain me out back like a dog."

The resignation in Matteo's voice is all too familiar. In his early days of vampirism Dante had tried to find ways to still be part of the world, spending time in bars and 24-hour diners, taking long drives at night, he even tried taking a night shift in a stockroom. But eventually fear won - fear of sunlight, fear of discovery, fear of hurting someone or being hurt. It drove him into the shadows, and there he has remained.

"I had a dog once. He slept at the end of my bed."

The new information pulls Matteo from the brink of despair.

"Yeah? What was his name?"

"Porco. It means pig. It started as an insult when we found him as a stray. He would eat anything and everything. But I got attached to him and dad was bad at saying no if something made me happy. He always said joy was in short supply and we should stock up whenever we could."

Matteo smiles in this warm, endearing way that Dante finds impossible to look away from. Sometimes he tries to smile back but it's as if the muscles of his face have forgotten how.

They get to work moving everything out of the bunker until only the beds and shelves, which are fixed to the concrete walls, remain.

When they're finished it looks much more like what it really is - a prison. But Matteo seems less apprehensive. Maybe just knowing what to expect is enough.

"Dante?" he says as they ascend the stairs back toward rooms with windows and light.

"Yes?"

"Thank you. You didn't have to do any of this."

They reach the first floor hallway. Dante pushes the door shut with his foot and turns to look at him.

"You saved my life, remember?"

Matteo huffs. "I think you made up for that a while ago. This is...more than I have any right to ask for. If there's anything I can do..."

"I really don't mind. You're - "

...can he call him a friend? An acquaintance? Is this thing between them just a series of favors, an exchange of small kindnesses the world has not been so quick to give? A rescue for a rescue. A warm bed for some company. A sip of blood for relief from pain.

"...you're nice to have around," he finishes carefully. It seems a safe enough statement. Neither coming on too strong nor dismissing just how big a change Matteo has brought to his dull life, if only for a little while.

There is that smile again - and then Matteo's arms are around his neck in a tight hug.

"I like being around," he says quickly, shyly.

It's over too soon and Dante is left with the lingering warmth, watching Matteo disappear into the living room and wishing he'd had the nerve to hug back.

[hiskillingjar]

transfem law x transfem mc?

you're the only bitch that i fucking respect in this town

4700+ words, general warning for some discussed transmisogyny and cw for. uh. animal death, death descriptions, genital mutilation descriptions and shade towards true crime girls.

cross posted on ao3 cus it's long and i want attention :)

"You know, if you brought me out here to kill me, I'm going to be pretty upset."

You smiled in spite of your dark joke as you followed behind Law, them leading the way through the brush after driving you to the woods outside of town. Their long arms pushed aside tree branches for you to pass and kept hold of your hand, so you didn't get lost in the dark.

You'd met Law at therapy after a particularly rough stint at the psych ward, when they still went by 'Lawrence' and you were barely six months on hormones and still got clocked on a regular basis (including by them on your first meeting).

Now, it had been a year, you'd had your first consultation for sexual reassignment surgery (and it had gone successfully), and Law had made some…well, discoveries of their own.

It was nice, having a friend like them, and you liked their company.

"No, no, no,” They said, looking back at you over their shoulder. “I know it’s strange to be out here this late, but…this isn’t what it seems..."

“I know, Law,” You interrupted with a laugh, squeezing their hand a little tighter. "I'm only teasing. "

They took things a little literally at times, a symptom of the disorder that had landed them at therapy in the first place.

You didn’t mind correcting yourself for them, though.

"Oh...right...okay.” They said with a nervous chuckle, reaching back to scratch their neck. “I…um, I just wanted to make sure.”

Their grip tightened around yours for just a moment before going back to normal as they led you deeper into the brush.

It was a dark night, way later than you were usually out (you were, regrettably, somewhat of a morning person later in life), but it was a peaceful kind of dark.

The kind of dark that swallowed people whole and kept them safe, surrounded, like an all-encompassing hug, a pill bug under a log, a baby in the womb, a tapeworm in your twisting guts, worming around your insides and looking for the closest thing it could burrow deeper into.

You squeezed their hand harder and gave your head a little shake, trying to rid yourself of the gruesome imagery, as they pulled you into a quiet clearing of the brush.

The night was clear and cool, and the full moon was out, casting a glow on everything in the surrounding area, something beautiful and...almost otherworldly.

Like for just this one moment, the entire world was on pause and you were the only two people that existed.

It was a nice thought.

"This is it..."Law murmured softly, a little breathless as they stepped and pulled you into the clearing, looking around the small space like a child excited to share a new toy with their friend.

It was a canopy of thick trees surrounding a flat patch of ground, a blue tarp laid out to one side and three tall barrels with tight lids on top of them covered by a similar tarp, hiding whatever the barrels held from prying eyes.

“Cool, if a little creepy. Very Dahmer-esque. I’m into it.” You joked as Law let go of your hand and clenched their long, bony fingers together in front of them. "So, what did you wanna show me, Law?"

"Oh...right, yes. Just..." Law looked at you, those same nervous eyes shining brightly in the dim moonlight, taking in a deep breath before speaking more quietly, their voice dropping to a soft whisper. "Close your eyes for a second, alright? Please?"

“Alright…”

You did as you were told and closed your eyes, your own fingers (not as long but just as bony) curling against the denim of your shorts.

If they did decide to kill you, now would be a fantastic time to do it. You had ignored every red flag and word of advice against doing this just to be here, after all.

“Stay Sexy, Don’t Get Murdered”, your hate-listen podcast had warned that morning, while you walked to work.

What were you doing, ‘getting ugly, waiting to get murdered?’

While your eyes were closed (while your mind was spiralling about their potential bad intentions), Law pulled off and stepped around the crinkling plastic tarp to pry off the lid of one of the barrels.

The smell was putrid, like rot, like death, and immediately hit you like a truck, making your expression wrinkle without even knowing the source.

"Oh, jesus," You murmured, covering your face with the sleeve of your overshirt to try and mask the smell. “What is that?”

“I’m just finding something,” Law said, their voice soft over the sound of sloshing water. They must have been sifting through the mange without gloves (ew) for a good while before it stopped. “Okay…okay, here it is, open your eyes.”

You opened your eyes obediently and saw that they were holding something out for you to see.

Their hands (big, pretty, bigger than yours, made you feel small, made you feel delicate) were sopping wet and almost blue from the cold, but they looked so eager to show you what they had, that it didn’t matter.

Your eyes widened and you gaped a little wider when you recognised...what looked like an animal corpse that had been pulled from the water.

It might have been a rabbit, a hare or maybe even a small dog, if you had to guess, well past the initial stages of decomposition, with mangy flesh melting off the brown bones, wet and murky fur falling to Law’s feet in clumps.

When you looked from the corpse and back to them, Law's grey eyes (usually so dead and dull, but now open and unnervingly alive) shined as a genuine smile came to their pretty face.

The sheer look of excitement on their face was endearing, and you suppressed your initial disgust to share that smile with them.

“I know this isn't the kind of activity you sign up for when you go on a date..." They said, idly licking their lips, their eyes going back down to the corpse as they turned it around, showing you the protruding rib cage and the heavy skull, where most of the gore had rotted away. “But, I just...I wanted to share something I was proud of with someone...someone I feel comfortable with. Someone I care about."

They said such sweet things so thoughtlessly. You envied that about them.

"No, it's..." You laughed, looking a little flustered as you scraped your hair behind your ears and scratched your neck. Was this a date? Had you known, you might have dressed a little nicer and put some foundation on. "It's cool, Law…I appreciate you showing this to me."

“Really?” They said, huffing out a surprised laugh and holding the bones a little closer to their chest. “Oh…ah, that’s…a relief, I suppose. I was nervous that you would think it’s strange, or gross…” They rambled as they turned around and set the corpse onto the tarp carefully, wiping the worst of the gore off on their sweatpants.

“I mean, it is gross.” You laughed, choosing to be honest with them. “But, like, a cool kind of cross. Like those vulture-culture blogs, they do stuff like this too.” You stepped around the clearing and towards them, watching as they knelt down to the tarp and started scraping melted flesh and viscera from the bones with their fingernails. You assumed there were probably better tools to do the task, but said nothing. “What is it, like, roadkill or something?"

"Uhh..."

Their hands stilled at your question, skin stained with black from the gore and still blue from the cold.

They barely reacted to it, if at all.

"No...well, yeah, it might've been already dead before I..." They mumbled, floundering around their words before eventually trailing off with a little, desperate whimper, shame and immense guilt in their expression.

That answered that, then.

You peered towards them as their words trailed off, a slightly sympathetic look on your face.

"You...didn't kill it, did you, Law?" You asked gently, squatting down on the other side of the corpse, lowering yourself down to their level.

It was an important way of establishing a connection, you had been told once, never putting levels between you and a friend or loved one. Sometimes people did the opposite, to be unnerving or intimidating, to designate themselves as a voice of authority and someone to be trusted.

Men did it, mostly. It was important for you to never do something like that.

Law swallowed, unable to look you in the eye, but you received a slow, guilty, nod to your question. It was almost sheepish, like they were a little kid who had just gotten caught doing something they shouldn’t.

Their hands were shaking, but you had a sense that it wasn’t a reaction to the cold.

"I...I..." Their fingers curled into tight, little fists. "I...yeah...I did..."

There was fear in their soft voice, but also a strange kind of…relief.

Relief that they had been able to tell the truth to someone, someone who had heard them out this far, someone they were happy to tell the truth to.

"Ah," You mumbled with a little sigh, wrapping your arms around your knees. "That's a shame…”

That wouldn't go down well in therapy.  But hey, you weren't a therapist.

“But...” You started, licking your lips and trying to meet their eyes with a gentle smile. “I mean, if you don't do it again...I think that’s okay."

“Really…?” They replied, unclenching their fingers and looking back at you, a slight smile tugging at their lips. "I...I won't, I promise."

They were quiet again, idly pulling at a tuft of wet fur still clinging to the bones and rubbing it between the callouses of their fingers. It can’t have been very soft, but you guessed that it was still a decent self-soothing method.

“It’s just…I mean, I go to therapy for a reason, you know that.” They said, digging their grubby fingernail into the bundle of fur. “I see things, I hear things. I get this…urge, sometimes. To…mmph-”

They went quiet quickly, looking back down and biting their lip, as if afraid of losing control of what they were saying.

But you had a good sense of what they were about to say.

You knew the type of girl that Law was.

"Yeah...I get that," You mumbled quietly with a considered tilt of your head, taking a closer look at the poor creature who died so your friend didn’t shoot up a shopping mall (though you had a sense that Law wasn’t the type to own a gun). "I do, I do get it.”

You clutched your knees tighter and let out a slightly shaky sigh.

“I mean, I never killed animals or anything, but, like,” You huffed out a laugh and pushed a shaking hand through your hair, aghast by what you were about to admit. “Okay, um…when I was a teenager, I'd look at these…gore sites. LiveLeaks, BestGore, that shit…”

Law’s eyes snapped up to yours, stunned by your sudden outpouring of honesty.

“It was initially, like, something I did with my friends. You know, dumb teenage boys doing dumb teenage boy stuff,” You said, feeling a little fondness for the edgy snot-rag you had been at fourteen years old. “Then I’d do it by myself. I was curious, at first, and then…it was also just to...feel something. Something other than how I felt, you know? Something other than hatred."

Law let out a little hum and nodded their head.

"Yeah…me too, actually.” A shaky smile came to their face. “I would...I used to browse the dark web a lot, to see those kinds of things. To feel something, like you…um, like you said."

"Yeah. It's, like, a right of passage for girls like us, right?" You replied with a little chuckle, fiddling with your hair. You had cut your bangs too short and were now sporting, what your chronically online friend called, a ‘fuck-ass bob’. You had grown your hair out for so long, but now felt the bob kind of suited you. “I know way too many to count…”

“Girls like us…” Law repeated thoughtfully, trying to laugh along as well, a shy look on their face as a flush came to their pale cheeks. 

You looked up and tried to smile as normally as you could.

"Um…” They started, after a short beat of silence. “So…you know what you asked before...about if I was bringing you out here to kill you?"

"Uh oh," You mumbled, trying to make a joke in spite of the sudden churning in your stomach.

"Wait, no...no, I...-"

They barked out a strange little laugh, before covering their mouth with their dry sleeve, trying to cut themselves off from laughing any more, any louder.

"I wasn't...I'm still not. You don’t have to worry about…about that.” They trailed off, seeming about to say something before they bit their lip again. Finally, they spoke, looking up into your eyes. “But, I've thought about it a few times...killing you."

You swallowed hard, your smile dropping a little.

"Oh..."

“Don’t freak out,” They said quickly, their grey eyes widening a little. The life in them had subsided, just a touch, replaced by a deadened sort of…mania, like they were getting ready to do something drastic.

What were red flags again?

‘Stay Ugly, Do Get Throttled and Killed in a Forest Clearing’.

That would do numbers, if you still cared about doing numbers.

“I just…I wanted to be honest with you.” They then said, derailing your train of thought. “I don’t want to hide things from you. I don’t…like hiding things from people I care about.”

They looked back down, their shoulders sagging and hiding a miserable expression on their face.

“You’re probably going to think I'm crazy, right? M-Maybe I am..."

"No, it's..." You reached over and grabbed their hand. "It's okay, Law.” You said with an encouraging smile, that was now shaking a little. You might have been stupid, but you weren’t so idiotic that you weren’t a little scared. “Thinking about something and doing it are…like, two totally different things, Law."

Law stared at your hand for a moment, gripping it tightly (almost too tightly, bone-crushingly tight, making you look so small again) before letting their grip ease with a sigh.

“You’re…unreal,” They murmured with a disbelieving laugh. They kept their eyes down, still focused on the gore on the blue tarp in front of them.  “If I said that to anyone else, they’d think I was…some deranged freak and get me put away.”

"Well, what kind of a person would I be if I did that?" You mumbled, rubbing your thumb over their bony, blue knuckles.

"A person with common sense, I guess..." Law chuckled a little strangely, hollow, not totally there, their grip tightening again. They seemed oddly pleased by the contact, though, even if there was also a little bit of uncertainty to go along with that excitement.

"Well, I've never pretended to have any of that," You continued with your own chuckle, before biting your lip. "And I’ve been to a psych ward, so I’d never put someone there. But…” You hesitated. “I mean…how...would you do it?"

"Hmm?" Law blinked for a moment, still holding your hands in theirs. "You mean...how I would kill you?"

"Mm..." You hummed, and you felt yourself tremble.

It was the cold of the night and the wet skin against yours that was making you shake.

That’s what you were telling yourself. It can’t have possibly been for any other reason.

Law’s head canted to the side as they watched your trembling form. Their grey eyes narrowed slightly, like a cat watching and playing with a mouse before it was about to leap and strike.

They didn't let go of your hand for even a second either.

If anything, their grip only tightened.

"You're nervous..." They said.

"Yeah," You replied with a nod.

"You're trembling..." They said, as they leaned closer to you.

"Yeah," You replied again with a little sigh.

“You’re beautiful.” They whispered, bringing their face down to yours, chapped lips tracing yours but not closing the gap just yet, waiting for you to do it.

This close, you could smell the putrid water and the smell of rot and plant matter and sweat that clung to their skin, sweet and murky and dead, like their eyes, like their gaze.

A beautiful dead girl, waiting for you.

“How would you kill me, Law?” You asked again, more sure of anything than you had ever been before.

They huffed out another little chuckle with a slight shake of their head, their blunt bangs choppy on their forehead.

They probably cut their hair the same way you did, with kitchen scissors in the mirror.

The tattooed, septum-ringed girls and they-thems at the ‘all-inclusive’ hairdresser in town always cut your hair too short (something something haircuts don’t have gender, easy for them to say) so you did it at home, split ends be damned.

Was Law the same way, now?

“You’re asking for trouble,” They mumbled hotly, their lips still grazing yours as they held your hand even tighter, their fingers still covered in the watery viscera of the dead animal.

“Probably,” You replied with a little nod. “Tell me. Please?”

The words hung in the air between you for a good minute or two (though it could have been hours for all you cared), a quiet, intense silence filling the clearing.

For some reason, the air suddenly felt thick, almost hard to breathe, like you were in one of those barrels, suffocating and trying not to drown.

Your shorts were tights and your fishnets were clinging a little too tightly to your legs, too tight to be as comfortable as they had been.

"I don't know," Law mumbles quietly, honestly, watching as you shift forward on your knees, feeling the crinkle of the tarp sweat against your skin. "I thought about a lot of different ways..."

"Yeah?" You asked, watching as they did the same, unfolding their long legs and sitting on the ground, taking up space. You were always told not to do that, by girls like you, but Law didn't have that same concern. They hadn't been taught to hate themselves in that way. "What's your favourite?"

"Hah," They let out a breathy laugh and shook their head again. "The same way I killed that dog-"

So, it was a dog.

Your stomach turned and you just hoped to fucking God that it was a stray, not a beloved family pet with missing posters now pasted up around the town.

"I'd break your neck and..." They held your hands even tighter and you finally noticed that your fingers were now also streaked with blackened gore, like they were infecting you with the same disease that had infected them and made them so perfect for you. "Put you inside of those barrels."

You let out a little whimper, looking down at your trembling legs as they curled up with Law's, your body subconsciously wanting to be closer to them

Your cock was throbbing under your tight shorts too, despite your turning stomach.

"And watch you melt away," They continued, raising one hand to cup your jaw (hard, chiselled, any threat of stubble burned away months ago) and bringing your lips even closer together. "And keep everything left behind. Bones, hair, matted flesh.” Their lips spread into a sick grin, the rictus smile of a corpse. “Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"Yes," You murmured, your eyes half-lidded and dazed as you stared at them, captured by the dead beauty in those grey eyes. "It would be...wonderful."

They smiled again, and gently kissed your lips.

This wasn't the first time the two of you had kissed, far from it, but something about it felt that way.

Like in the wake of your shared honesty, you were now two brand new people meeting for the very first time, finding each other in the darkness and curling together, twin centipedes in a tree trunk, worms in the dirt, mated maggots in the gore you were streaked with.

You keened in closer, holding their hand tight and parting their chapped lips with your pierced tongue, deepening the kiss in a way you knew they wouldn't.

You didn't mind taking the lead at times.

As long as they did it, most of the time.

"Mm," They moaned quietly, pushing their hand through your dark hair and curling it into a fist, gripping a thick handful of it and using it to wrangle you even closer, to bite down on your gasping lips and take you, as they wanted to.

You didn't mind the pain. You didn't mind the sting of their teeth on your lips or their hands in your hair.

It made you feel a little more like a woman.

Your cock stirred again.

If you were still online, admitting to something like that probably would have earned you a sternly worded anonymous message, filled with buzz words like ‘autogynophilia’ and ‘male socialisation’ and reminding you ‘you should really do better to unlearn your male privilege if you want to be considered safe to this community’.

You weren’t online though.

You hadn’t been back online since your main account got banned for ‘violating community guidelines’ and your fundraiser for facial feminisation surgery got taken down after a wave of mass-reporting, a result of a particularly bad faith call-out post from one of the myriad of trolls that plagued you.

That might have put you in a psych ward two years ago, but you knew you were better without it now.

After all, if you were still online, you probably wouldn’t have met Law.

Law pulled back from the kiss, a thin line of spittle attaching your lips that they licked away, the deep depth of their eyes softening a little as they let go of your hands.

"Can I," They started, reaching down to the crotch of your shorts and pressing a palm against it. You groaned through grit teeth and instantly held their broad shoulders, shifting your hips forward against them, the cool expanse of their palm making you shiver, despite the layers of fabric that separated your skin. "Can I touch your cock?"

"Mmhmm," You nodded, biting your lip.

You took in another groan as they slowly unbuttoned and unzipped your shorts and peeled down your fishnets and panties, finding your cock (a little soft thanks to its tight tuck through the day, but you couldn't manage a full erection most of the time anymore anyway) and giving it a light squeeze.

It was a somewhat awkward motion, but you didn’t blame them that much.

They were never really sure what to do with your cock, which was why they generally preferred to play with your asshole, to tease it with their fingers and their tongue, before penetrating it completely.

You would have preferred that too, especially when you were feeling as vulnerable as you were, but you were in a dirty forest clearing without a condom or any lube. And you might have been dumb enough to follow an animal killer with murderous fantasies about you into that forest, but you weren’t dumb enough to attempt anal sex without the right prep.

You didn’t hate yourself enough.

"What else, hah," You gasped against their trembling lips, holding their shirt tighter in your curled fists as they worked their own fist up and down your soft length, trying to encourage it to a degree of hardness. They probably weren’t going to manage such a feat, but you did appreciate the effort that they were going to for it. "What else have you thought about, Law?"

"Hm?" They looked up at your needy expression, a blush quickly gathering in your cheeks when they saw it, saw your narrowed eyes, your parted lips.

"Tell me how you'll kill me again," You pleaded, reaching down with one hand to grope their own cock through their sweatpants, as the other unbuttoned your plaid overshirt and rolled your tank top up your chest, revealing your pale breasts.

Your nipples were perky in the cold air and Law immediately dipped their head to run their tongue over them, despite your request for them to keep talking.

"Mm," You moaned, all the same, pushing the hand through their hair and guiding their tongue to the ripe bud of your nipple. "Give me a good one, Law...come on."

"Ah," They groaned when you gave their cock another firm squeeze, trying to alert their attention to what you wanted. "I want...mm, I want to take you back to my apartment...and tie you up there." They moaned hotly against your skin, thin hips bucking when your fist tightened at their words. "Cut out your spine so I can...hah, so I can keep it."

You felt a pulse of white-hot heat rush through your body and straight to your cock at that mental image, of you bound (and maybe gagged, like the damsels in movies were, the first kind of womanhood you related to in your boyhood) on the bed where you'd fucked so many times before.

Law would be the hulking slasher villain, they’d have a knife, and they would be standing over you, waiting for the perfect time to strike, when you had gotten so worked up and hysterical that they could really enjoy your death all the more.

"Fuck," You groaned deeply (because fuck the voice training right now), bucking your hips as you felt your cock start to twitch and harden in their hand. "God, that’s so hot. What's wrong with me..."

"Hmph," They huffed out a fond laugh, teasing the bud of your nipple with their crooked teeth, making you whine needily and grip them even tighter. “What did you say, about 'girls like us'...that's what we’re like, isn't it?"

We. Including themselves.

Herself.

"Yeah?" You wheezed through a gasp with your own laugh (sardonic and a little mean, not the way girls should be at all, but the way you were), your eyes darkening as you stared down at them. "That’s right…so, what, you gonna cut my dick out to join my spine, Law?"

"Mmhmm," They hummed (and you were silently thrilled that they didn’t even blink at your slurred request for genital mutilation), a demented and almost peaceful little smile coming to their face as you pried their sweatpants down and revealed the monster between their legs. Your asshole clenched just looking at it, and you couldn’t wait to get back to their apartment if you survived this. "I’d keep it safe. Then I’d cut off your testes and eat them."

Your thighs trembled and you grit your teeth, feeling another pulse of heat shoot to your cock.

"Hah…I read they're a natural source of estrogen somewhere," You managed to wheeze out with a little chuckle. "Makes sense, huh? Where one girl ends, another begins."

"Mmm..." They moaned mindlessly, trailing a thick smear of drool down your chest as they let go of your cock and circled their arms around your little waist tightly, pulling you in close.

Despite your maddening arousal, you let them do it, happily, resting your cheek against the crown of their head, and relishing in the feeling as your cocks pressed and rubbed together, sticky heads occasionally grazing over one another.

"Wanna be your girl," They murmured, kissing and tonguing at your nipple again, clinging to you even tighter. "Can I be your girl? Please? Please let me…"

"Baby," You cooed, shifting your hips even closer to theirs hers, almost sitting in their her lap as your own arms wrapped around their her neck.

Twin centipedes in a tree trunk, wriggling worms in the dirt, mated maggots in the gore your hands, your chest, your rotten cock, were streaked with.

"You always were my girl...and always will be."

[book--brackets]

Summaries under the cut

Moon Base Alpha by Stuart Gibbs

Like his fellow lunarnauts—otherwise known as Moonies—living on Moon Base Alpha, twelve-year-old Dashiell Gibson is famous the world over for being one of the first humans to live on the moon.

And he’s bored out of his mind. Kids aren’t allowed on the lunar surface, meaning they’re trapped inside the tiny moon base with next to nothing to occupy their time—and the only other kid Dash’s age spends all his time hooked into virtual reality games.

Then Moon Base Alpha’s top scientist turns up dead. Dash senses there’s foul play afoot, but no one believes him. Everyone agrees Dr. Holtz went onto the lunar surface without his helmet properly affixed, simple as that. But Dr. Holtz was on the verge of an important new discovery, Dash finds out, and it’s a secret that could change everything for the Moonies—a secret someone just might kill to keep...

Adventurers Wanted by M. L. Forman

Do you have the courage, the wits, and the skill to claim a dragon's hoard? If so, apply within …

The sign is small, tucked into the corner of Mr. Clutter's bookshop window: "Adventurers Wanted. Apply Within." No one but fifteen-year-old Alex Taylor even seems to notice it is there. And for Alex, who has wished for a change in his life, it is an irresistible invitation.

Upon entering Mr. Clutter's shop, Alex is swept away on an incredible adventure to a faraway land filled with heroic warriors, mysterious elves, and hard-working dwarves.

Alex becomes the eigth man in a band of adventurers seeking the lair of Slathbog the Red - an evil dragon with a legendary treasure. Along the way, Alex and his new friends must battle dangerous trolls and bandits, face undead wraiths, and seek the wisdom of the Oracle in her White Tower.

Alex's adventure takes him to distant and exotic lands where he learns about courage, integrity, honor, and, most importantly, friendship.

Applewhites by Stephanie S. Tolan

Will anyone take on Jake Semple?

Jake Semple is notorious. Rumor has it he burned down his old school and got kicked out of every school in his home state.

Only one place will take him now, and that's a home school run by the Applewhites, a chaotic and hilarious family of artists. The only one who doesn't fit the Applewhite mold is E.D.—a smart, sensible girl who immediately clashes with the unruly Jake.

Jake thinks surviving this one will be a breeze . . . but is he really as tough or as bad as he seems?

The Letter for the King by Tonke Dragt

It is the dead of night.

Sixteen-year-old Tiuri must spend hours locked in a chapel in silent contemplation if he is to be knighted the next day.

But, as he waits by the light of a flickering candle, he hears a knock at the door and a voice desperately asking for help.

A secret letter must be delivered to King Unauwen across the Great Mountains - a letter upon which the fate of the entire kingdom depends. Tiuri has a vital role to play, one that might cost him his knighthood.

Tiuri's journey will take him through dark, menacing forests, across treacherous rivers, to sinister castles and strange cities. He will encounter evil enemies who would kill to get the letter, but also the best of friends in the most unexpected places.

He must trust no one.

He must keep his true identity secret.

Above all, he must never reveal what is in the letter...

Miracles on Maple Hill by Virginia Sorensen

Marly and her family share many adventures when they move from the city to a farmhouse on Maple Hill. Her father is recovering from being a prisoner-of-war. The small town and the varied happenings and activities of country life help them to recover from past unhappiness, and bond more closely as a family.

13 Treasures by Michelle Harrison

Tanya has a secret. She can see fairies.

But not the fairies we imagine. These fairies cast spells on her, rousing her from her sleep and propelling her out of bed. Disturbed by her daughter’s behaviour, Tanya’s mother sends her away to live with her grandmother at Elvesden Manor, a secluded countryside mansion on the outskirts of town.

Then an old photograph leads Tanya to an unsolved mystery. Fifty years ago a girl vanished in the woods, a girl Tanya’s grandmother will not speak of. Tanya is determined to find the truth, but as she unearths more secrets she finds herself dangerously close to following in the missing girl’s footsteps . . .

The Birchbark House by Louise Erdrich

This same slice of history is seen through the eyes of the spirited, 7-year-old Ojibwa girl Omakayas, or Little Frog, so named because her first step was a hop. The sole survivor of a smallpox epidemic on Spirit Island, Omakayas, then only a baby girl, was rescued by a fearless woman named Tallow and welcomed into an Ojibwa family on Lake Superior's Madeline Island, the Island of the Golden-Breasted Woodpecker. We follow Omakayas and her adopted family through a cycle of four seasons in 1847, including the winter, when a historically documented outbreak of smallpox overtook the island.

Poison by Bridget Zinn

Sixteen-year-old Kyra, a highly-skilled potions master, is the only one who knows her kingdom is on the verge of destruction—which means she’s the only one who can save it. Faced with no other choice, Kyra decides to do what she does best: poison the kingdom’s future ruler, who also happens to be her former best friend.

But, for the first time ever, her poisoned dart . . . misses.

Now a fugitive instead of a hero, Kyra is caught in a game of hide-and-seek with the king’s army and her potioner ex-boyfriend, Hal. At least she’s not alone. She’s armed with her vital potions, a too-cute pig, and Fred, the charming adventurer she can’t stop thinking about. Kyra is determined to get herself a second chance (at murder), but will she be able to find and defeat the princess before Hal and the army find her?

The Chanters of Tremaris by Kate Constable

Calwyn has never been beyond the high ice-wall that guards the sisters of Antaris from the world of Tremaris. She knows only the rounds of her life as a novice ice priestess, tending her bees, singing her ice chantments, and dreaming.

But then Calwyn befriends Darrow, a mysterious Outlander who appears inside the Wall and warns of an approaching danger. To help Darrow, to see the world, and perhaps to save it, Calwyn will leave the safety of the Wall for a journey with a man she barely knows—and an adventure as beautiful and dangerous as the music of chantment itself.

Ingo by Helen Dunmore

Sapphire's father mysteriously vanishes into the waves off the Cornwall coast where her family has always lived. She misses him terribly, and she longs to hear his spellbinding tales about the Mer, who live in the underwater kingdom of Ingo. Perhaps that is why she imagines herself being pulled like a magnet toward the sea. But when her brother, Conor, starts disappearing for hours on end, Sapphy starts to believe she might not be the only one who hears the call of the ocean.

[snakedemonstories]

Soooooo I wrote something, because these two - as you can probably tell - have completely consumed my existence.

Summary: Five hundred years after marrying Jing and living a peaceful life on a tropical island, Xiao Yao is once again alone, her heart still aching for the enigmatic Xiang Liu. Though she's grown accustomed to her solitude, a familiar eagle—resembling Chubby—appears one day, leading her to the astonishing discovery that Xiang Liu has been reborn as a deity. Now, Xiao Yao must confront the past and decide if she'll embrace this unexpected second chance to a life with him.

A small excerpt:

Above all she missed their connection and the conversations of her innermost darkness that she could only share with one person in the whole world. She missed being teased and challenged by him. She missed laughing like a little girl and she missed watching the moon with him by the sea. She missed his smile and his eyes. Those eyes that pierced through her soul like no one had ever managed to do.

There were days she thought she saw him downtown, at the market, at the restaurants or at the face of one of her patients. In those fleeting instances, she would momentarily forget that Xiang Liu was no longer breathing in this world, her heart pounding with a quiet longing as she turned her head around, secretly hoping to see him once more.

She was no longer intimidated by him, nor was she afraid of him crawling inside her dreams. For her biggest fear had come to life.

Losing him forever.

Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Xiang Liu | Fangfeng Bei/Xiao Yao | Wen Xiaoliu Characters: Xiang Liu, Xiao Yao, Maoqiu Additional Tags: Rebirth, Second Chances, Post-Canon, Tropical setting, Slow Burn, Rekindled Romance

[sarsaparillaart]

“The 12-made-10 and the broken dance. The Accelerando. The Change of Ladies. The Metronome and the Song. The Dance-Architect and Rhythm-Draw. The Body. The Chassé. The Rèvèrence. The Unheard Objection.”

Swordtember 7 - Moon

Longer lore piece below. Rendering nacre is harder than I thought btw.

10 Invocations for 10 Moons

O Milkmoon! Life and growth and rot and unloving lust. All things that spread because they must, and all things that take because they can. You the ancient forest and the stinking city, the corn in the field and the smut upon it. You, language and terrible ideas that spread through furtive whispers, poisoning the dwelling minds. You, the disgusting undying evergrowing! The beautiful cancer inside all things! O Halcyon! Grow!

O Coalmoon! The everflowing torrent of change. The violent storm of light and fire and lightning and smoke! You, the forge that melts the world and mixes and ruins and fixes and starts again! You, the white-hot flame that makes glass from deserts and brick from clay and ash from men! You, the violent storm that changes them again to something new! O Labile! Change!

O Saltmoon! The long-held breath; existence without resolution! You yourself the fear of death. You, salted fish and mummified kings! You, the unmarred monument-stone and the author's name on a page! History now and never-past. The unbroken line and unmoving sky! You, still water and rock-hard bread. You who cannot stop, for you cannot move! O Sterile! Continue!

O Winemoon! The impossible dance, shattered legs, and blooded throat! The thirst for drink that already pumps through veins! You, the song that never ends! The silent  verses that flow in a torrents from the lungs of all. The melody in birdsong and the rhythm in the beating of hearts! You the first, last, and million dances unending! The scurrying of rats and the procession of pilgrims! The flowing of water and the whirling of atoms! O Blithe! Revel!

O Nacremoon! The beauty in numbers; the constant ticking up and down and ceaselessness of a spiraling fractal. You the tides of gain and loss. You the lies of luck! You, outlier in an infinite range! The meaningless profundity between digits! You who live in the clink of coins and the arc of arrows. You which breathes probability and bleeds geometric form!  You, the one perfect thing! O Mnemonic! Reckon!

O Silkmoon! The billion lines in a billion webs. You, the strands connecting me to you and you to them and them to me! The lines that connect our eyes to these words and these words to their meanings in a million doomed languages! You, the threads of love and hatred and fealty. The connections between the disconnected! The net of staggering complexity that ties everything that does and does not exist! You, worm-spider in the shape of a moon, spinning and knitting and cutting and shaping! O Sibling! Tether!

O Bilemoon! Flesh and beautiful body. The face perfect, all sharp curves and smooth edges! The glow of sickened health. You, the muscular fat rippling across wide tracts of flesh! You, fast-strength! You skin radiant! You eyes clear! The cutless and malleable form radiating death and sex! You the beautiful parts of existing! You incarnation incarnate! The singular point of body! O Chassis! Live!

O Sugarmoon. You the sky and sea! The wanderer and a researcher. The seer and a thinker! You, the answerless question; the sweet smell on the wind and far-off shore from whence it came! You, the prow of every ship. The boots of every wanderer. The wind in sails! You, promise of discovery! Onward. Onward. Onward! The acidic desire for discovery. The thousand miles within a step and the step  of one thousand miles. You, the hidden name! The reason to search. The lie that gives discovery stronger meaning. You, the push- pull freeing us from stagnation! The sky and sea and the vast stretches of land. The roads and paths and meadows and monuments and wonders on the page and in the minds of explorers. O Peregrine! Seek!

O Venommoon! The vengeance for a broken thing. The well-undeserved punishment. You, the thing that knows sins and castigation! Rejected fate. The death of the young and the continuation of the old. You, the steel-flash of retribution. You, implacable justice. The death of the killer. You, impatience. You, rash action! Destiny taken into unworthy hands. The failed severing of cause and effect, and the successful bending of rules. You, the rebel-judge! O Bellicose! Try!

O Oilmoon! The wretched and unfair hive of golden finery and silver-wealth. You, power manifest! You, monarch in wing-flesh! The servitude of slaves; golden light on the crown; silver light on the usurper's sword. You, the right to rule and the power to enforce! You, every-kenning. The scurrying ants underfoot and the marching steps of soldiers above. You who force the bent knee. Command. You the law and the tax and the splendor and wealth of vast nations. You, the honeycombed tracts of land, the spread and focused will. You, the draw of fealty, the protection of leaders,the fear of tyrants. O Primate! Domineer!

[seraphiism]

❀ ﾟ. ༄ ┊ 𝐈 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐘 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃 ( 𝐩𝐭. 𝐢𝐢 ) ;

( THERE'S THIS SOMETHING INSIDE YOU THAT'S ROTTING AWAY & YOU FEEL IT ALL ALONG. )

characters : uni • dreya quote cr : sylvia plath ; haruki murakami a/n : reader is not necessarily the chief ﾟ. » pt. i

↬ uni ࿐ ࿔

BUT THE SUN CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT THE MOON, JUST AS THE DARK CANNOT THRIVE WITHOUT THE LIGHT, & IN THE DEPTHS OF REFLECTION SOUGHT, THERE IS SOMETHING SO LONELY LINING THE CRACKS OF MIRRORS RUINED.

there is something missing, something destroyed, something WRONG in this fragmented heart : desolate in frozen solitude, filled with a crying grief and semblance of betrayal. how it grows colder and colder and colder with every beat, every sickening pulse that fills her with a forsakening untold. even the sweetness that lingers on her tongue turns into some kind of poison anyway, but bitterness is all she knows, so she indulges in something that will slowly ruin her from the inside and out.

BUT IT'S ALL MADE OF POISON IN THE END, ISN'T IT? all made of something fake, something wanted and desired and yearned for, something born from superficiality. how fickle this all is, the wanting to mold yourself into someone made for the spotlight. there is too much deceit in this world, and seldom is there purity with exception of those she dares trust.

but you-- you, she does not understand. there is something so innocent about you, something she recognizes, and she cannot tell whether it breaks her heart or makes it beat all the more. you recognize her pain, her despair, and she is quick to blame your genuineness on something mocking, something feign. but it is very much real-- always has been, and somehow, it almost breaks her, the glass cracking slowly and surely, until the mirror shatters, until it reveals the sorrow beneath the surface.

she cannot do this. it will hurt all over again, and then she will be left alone, just as she has been for years too long.

"it's alright, uni." you murmur, and in the way you gently offer your hand, there is heartache. "i see you. it's alright."

no, she cannot do this, she thinks. this will hurt all over again-- but what if it doesn't? what if you see beyond the reflection? she stares at your hand, then your eyes, and in her gaze, there is a quiet hesitation, but a quiet relief.

slowly, she places her hand in yours, and how it trembles in the subtle of ways, but you hold it until it stops, until there's trust found in the little distance between your palms.

↬ dreya ࿐ ࿔

& THE DRIVE FOR DISCOVERY AND DIVINITY IS ALSO THE DRIVE TO DAMNATION ; IT WILL LEAD YOU ASTRAY, LOST LAMB. BE CAREFUL.

in the eternal nightmare, there is no peace to be found. such is the nature of nightmares : horrendous, harrowing, hideous. this landscape is not one you know, the constant shifting in the atmosphere unsettling, illusions past both frightening and disturbing. the dissea is filled with mania and corruption, and somewhere, there's a higher being, an entity, that is filled with a want for more. it'll consume, overtake, and it'll laugh in the face of good and evils, because it knows it has won.

it is too easy to get lost in this labyrinth. too easy to get lost in the haze of it all.

too easy to get lost in something that isn't yourself.

you see it : these flickers of memories, of confusion, of fascination, of the downward spiral in loss of identity and autonomy. you see how dreya's determination dwindles into something akin to desperation and doom, and you cannot reach her. not always. but there's something meant for the saving, and even if she may be gone, even if she isn't entirely there anymore, you have to try.

so you do. you follow the phantoms, try to make something out of nothing, because you can sense her. it's a chase, it's the long run -- and even when you think you've managed to allow her to regain herself, suddenly, it's over, and the cycle repeats again. but you never give up. you can't.

so you keep going. you keep going and going, until you find yourself face to face with her. you can see the corrosion in the figure before you. you can see the corruption, the fading of a brilliant mind, and in the fog of her eyes, you can see a distant memory of what was.

"you've come back." the words are soft, gentle-- and if you listen carefully, there's an uncertainty, almost. a questioning. "are you here to take me back home, my guide?" a kindness somewhere in the abyss.

you force a smile, and there is a devastation in the traces of it. because you'll try, you will, but you know that she can never go home. she's too far gone now, the mania infused in her being.

"yes, dreya." you tell her, and you cannot hide the sorrow in your voice. "it's time to go home."