#the discord servers were definitely traumatizing though HELP

[kianely]

BRO MY DANGANRONPA PHASE WAS THE WORST AND BEST THING EVER 😟 I was a kokichi kind of gal and ummm the amount of cringe things I did

LMAOO SAME HERE

i’m actually not too familiar with the third game, i never really got into it for some reason but i’d definitely see a lot of edits about kokichi

honestly all the antagonists in general are always the best like omg nagito 😵‍💫😵‍💫 LOOK AT HIM he had my 16 year old self at the time obsessed

[savior-of-humanity]

(I'm curious to hear about your TTRPG characters 👀)

YESSSSS... HAHAHAH.... YESSSSSSSS

I'm gonna be putting this under a read-more because this might get long (and there's also pictures) but anyways!! (also pinging @hymns-across-the-stars and @cursedfortune since they also expressed interest for me yapping about my emotional punching bags)

SILAS W. RODRIGUES & CAILEAN EVANGELION UNIT-07

I've been fucking DYING to play an Adeptus Evangelion campaign ever since I found out it existed, and I'm still really happy that I found a game at all because the subreddit for AdEVA is dead (though you can find a link to an active-ish AdEVA discord server in there if you dig deep enough). ANYWAYS!!!

Silas isn't really a sopping wet poor little meow meow like some of my other muses (i.e Shinji) but he is definitely just as fucked up. Basic TL;DR of his backstory is that he lived w/ his extended family in Brazil as a baby, with his older brother Cailean largely being the one to raise him, while his parents were off doing shit related to the Katsuragi Expedition that would eventually lead to Second Impact. Given that Second Impact is a global apocalypse, obviously his country gets fucked over and a lot of his immediate family either dies or gets lost among the chaos of that and the immediately ensuing Impact Wars.

Fast forward about a decade, and his older brother goes off to work for NERV after managing to get some good higher education. All's well since Cailean's largely giving what he makes back to his family to help support them, until he suddenly and unexpectedly dies in some kind of accident. The reality is that Cailean actually signed up for a Contact Experiment w/ an EVA in exchange for a large bump in pay, which resulted in his soul becoming assimilated into the EVA. Silas, obviously, doesn't know this, and is incredibly distraught as he and Cailean had a very close sibling relationship.

Eventually Silas gets approached by NERV with the offer to become an EVA Pilot in exchange for training, housing, and payment - and seeing how lucrative the money is, Silas accepts.

For the actual campaign in particular, the basic plot premise is pretty simple; What if Shinji never got in the EVA when Zeruel attacked the Geofront?

A simple question like this, apparently, has some pretty significant answers. To put it simply; with no Unit-01 to stop it, Zeruel managed to reach Terminal Dogma, (presumably) fuse with Lilith, and basically become a god-like being through which it would initiate Third Impact. I'm not sure what the full effects of Third Impact upon the world are yet, but I'm assuming it resulted in a lot of global damage, on top of Zeruel now starting to spawn its own Angels (Zerulim) to target and destroy humanity.

A bunch of canon characters are dead as well; Asuka is presumed KIA (there's some stuff in the plot that implies she could be alive but We Don't Know Yet™), Rei II is dead (though another (adult) clone of her now acts as the Commander of what remains of NERV, now known as WILLE), as well as Mari, Toji, and a lot of other characters such as Gendo and Misato. Shinji's fate is unknown but he was offered as a playable character so I'm guessing he's alive, just not (currently) relevant to the plot.

Anyways. Silas.

He has some pretty complicated feelings about his fellow pilots, because he's personally watched two of them die in incredibly horrific and traumatizing ways. He's afraid of forming friendships and similar meaningful relationships with other people, because he's afraid of going through that feeling of loss; something that's heavily impacted him ever since Cailean "died". And yet paradoxically he won't hesitate to put himself in harm's way so that they don't have to suffer as much. I'm really hoping to flesh him out as a character as the campaign progresses since I've been thinking of implementing him and Cailean/his EVA as muses (though there's like. only one other person I know of on Tumblr that actually has Evangelion muses he could interact with 😭)

KHARIAS (also cw for mentions of child death)

So, Kharias is basically just my fursona that I adapted for a homebrew Lancer campaign hosted by a friend of mine. I don't remember the full details of the story because it's been a while since the campaign's on a hiatus atm but basically, she's a Wildkin (furry race) who had a very rough childhood.

She was raised by her father Perristona, who I believe was a former general of the Wildkin army. Perristona is Not A Good Person. Like. Not even in the emotionally complicated way that makes you even sorta sympathetic but in the way that makes you go "what the fuck, is this guy insane?" And for good reason!!

Because when Kharias and her brother were about 6 years old, he made them fight each other to the death. With axes. It was as horrific, violent, and traumatizing as you can imagine.

And then years later he made a clone army of her dead brother for the sake of basically helping some very misguided people cause a global apocalypse that may or may not involve firing the in-universe equivalent of a Halo ring.

Fun stuff! Basically she's a big shark lady who kicks ass and pilots a fucking badass magical mech. I might bring her around again for another campaign my friend is planning on doing, though I have some other more appealing character ideas since, to be honest, a lot of her backstory in the Lancer campaign was actually cooked up by the GM, so I'm not really sure how to apply her without just going through the same backstory stuff.

[wisteria-lodge]

badger primary + very burnt lion secondary (bird model)

Hi, I’m a Badger primary and stuck between Lion and Snake secondary. I model Bird and Badger over whatever my (probably pretty burnt) secondary is. Would you mind helping me figure it out?

As a kid, I remember being a total joker in class. I thought it was really funny to trick my friends. I got everyone to start chanting at the teacher once. I’d do something daring (for a first grader) like look up “sex” in the dictionary. It basically just said gender and I was confused about what all the fuss was 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Definitely see why you’re thinking Improvisational secondary. One of the old-school SHC bits of wisdom is that when proud rule-breaking is a personality trait, that’s usually the sign of a Lion secondary.

My mom didn’t want me reading all night so I hid flashlights under my bed and would pretend to sleep if she checked on me. I’d lie and would only feel bad about it if threatened with consequences. If I got in trouble, I’d lie or pretend I didn’t know what I’d been doing.

But I could also see Snake. Being very proud of your ability to lie or pretend is very Snake to me.

In middle school, my learning disability really began to show and I started having anxiety and possibly PTSD after 9/11. (I’m from NY). That’s when the Bird model kicked in.

As it does.

People at my new school didn’t get my humor and took my trolling literally and it was really uncomfortable. Honestly middle school sucked and most of what I remember is just snobby, awful social stuff.

I’m definitely getting Lion secondary here. You are YOU, it’s very important that you be you, and the problem is that other people don’t get you. Snake secondaries aren’t so binary.

Oh I did manage to get a teammate’s cell phone number and pranked them. And I hacked into someone’s AIM account. And one time I got in a fist fight with someone on a different team of mine and then we were best friends. Which is weird, looking back.

awww Lion secondaries making friends :D

High school was really hard because I had a really hard time with the schoolwork (learning disability was still undiagnosed) and with finding good friends. I got in trouble a few times for offending people by repeating things I didn’t know were offensive, I dressed up as someone kinda controversial for Halloween which is honestly still one of the highlights of my high school experience. I tricked this creepy guy who wouldn’t leave me alone and embarrassed him in front of the whole school. But wouldn’t ever insult someone to their face on purpose unless I completely lost my temper.

Obviously you can have a hot temper and not be a Lion secondary… but I’m already skewing in that direction, and everything you’re saying here is supporting it. Kind of getting a kick out of offending people (or making them uncomfortable) is VERY Lion secondary.

I joined the Political Union club and didn’t really debate because I’m terrible at it.

Lion secondaries tend to be pretty bad at formal debate. That’s more a built secondary thing. Great at giving speeches, though :)

I just watched everyone argue and trolled people. I remember one meeting, people started throwing books at each other and it was amazing. That “agent of chaos” answer on the quiz is me haha.

The “agent of chaos” answer is the Lion secondary answer.

I knew the perfect way to get this one teacher to go off on a tangent about the Soviet Union for the entire lesson. I couldn’t keep up with the schoolwork so I’d BS a lot of it and manage to get by. Participation was key to your grade so I’d read just enough to discuss parts of it and then just make throwaway funny comments and ask good questions to beef up my contributions.

I’d say that gaming the system in this particular way (which I completely support) actually sounds like you Bird secondary model. Which makes sense, if the *purpose* of that model is to help you out in an academic setting.

I think I burned after a traumatic event at the end of my senior year. I started modeling Badger secondary hard. Basically just be sweet and helpful and everything will be fine, right? When that did not, in fact, make everything be fine, I pulled out the manipulation to make damn sure people were on my side.

I’m interested in what you mean by “manipulation.” Because while that’s normally a Snake secondary word, I’m not getting Snake Secondary from you. I suspect you may actually parse your Bird secondary as “manipulation,” which is sort of unusual.

I did still troll sometimes, but I haven’t felt playful and fun in so long. I’ve been really depressed over the last few years about some serious medical problems that can’t really be resolved. I just feel flat like a car stuck in park.

Oh ouch. Yeah, that’s a burnt secondary all right.

I’m scared of failing. I’m scared people won’t like me or that I’ll get in trouble. I don’t have the energy to lie convincingly or put on a show but I also don’t feel safe enough to be blunt. I’m reluctantly forcing myself to be diplomatic while screaming inside.

This is portrait of a Burnt Lion secondary. You’re afraid of failing, but failing is necessary and important to Lions. It’s how they change direction. “Being yourself” had gotten you into trouble and made some people not like you, so you’re scared about going there again. You want to be blunt, but it’s too scary. Instead you’re being diplomatic and putting on a show, both things you define as “lying” (very Lion secondary) but it’s incredibly energy consuming.

I don’t know how to go back to how I was. (I am trying to find a good therapist but it’s hard to find one who specializes in all the things I need, not to mention a good fit personality-wise). When I’m not Like This, I can be really charming. I miss it. 

Well, a therapist is the first step. I guess my tiny little piece of advice in the meantime, is find a place in your life where you *can* use your lion again. Make that place as tiny and as low-stakes as you need to. Maybe you have an anonymous blog where you shit-post. Maybe you bring out your Lion for just one person. Maybe go to a weekend convention - if it’s three days with people you never see again, who cares if you get in trouble or offend something. Check out the SHC discord server, and see if any of the other burnt Lionsecs have tips. I know Lions are very all-or-nothing, but I’m a Badger. Baby steps are steps.

[zelink-and-loz]

Ok headcannon story writing thing i made

basically link falls in a well and almost drowns because its raining and the well is filling up but then he is saved and he’s ok but he is permanently traumatized. 

Copypasted from my discord server because thats where i wrote it down first. Haven’t made it a full fanfic yet but i will eventually. (maybe. probably. possibly. idk man)

prepare for shitty halfassed spelling and grammar, and some things that only make sense to me because im too lazy to explain them

i really just wrote this for myself so

it’s probably unrealistic but idc

Ok so Link is messing around near an old dry (ish) well in the Hyrule Castle grounds. Im 90% sure theres no well in-game but fuck you. Maybe it collapsed and was buried in dirt. You dont know. Do you? 

He ends up falling in. He’s uninjured because i wasn’t too too far of a fall. ‘No biggie’ he thinks. ‘Ill just climb out.’ But then it starts raining. The walls get slick and slippery. ‘Alright. I’ll just wait it out.’ But hes starting to get a little nervous. After maybe 20 minutes it’s raining really hard. The well’s at about a foot of water now— there were only a couple of inches of old water when he first fell in. He’s getting nervous, and tries to climb out again. Of course, it doesn’t work.

‘It’s ok. Zelda will find me eventually. I’ve been gone for a while & she said she wanted to go on a walk later.’ He waits. 20-30 minutes later and the water’s at his knees. he‘s standing now. He calls for Zelda, not very loudly though. He begins to panic but tries to stay calm. 

He’s lost track of time but it’s been about 30 more minutes. Nearly an hour and a half since he fell in. The water’s almost at his waist. He’s taking deep breaths and telling himself Zelda’s gonna find him soon. He’s definitely panicking now, breathing quickly and shallowly, with his heart beating fast. He calls for Zelda, much more loudly this time. It just echoes in the well and he hears no response. 

At this point Zelda’s getting a bit worried. It’s raining hard and she doesn’t want to go outside and look for Link but she knew he probably wouldn’t have waited this long on purpose. She tells herself he’s probably forgotten. Or he’s fighting Yiga. Or Lynels. Or something like that. 40 more minutes pass. The water’s up to his chest. He starts yelling for anyone who could help— Zelda, Mipha, Urbosa, Daruk, even Revali, even though they champions aren’t at the castle and he hates asking Revali for help bc birdman is so rude and makes fun of him

10 more minutes. Zelda’s studying, trying to take her mind off where Link could be. Suddenly, she hears him faintly call her name— Zelda listens for a second longer but decides she must be hearing things bc of the rain & the stress & her worries. Then after a few minutes, she hears him yell again: ‘Hello? Zelda? ..Anyone?’ She opens the door to listen. She hears him call for Revali, Mipha, then her again. She’s a bit shocked & scared to hear him yelling & panicked (she’s never heard him panic before & she’s only heard him yell in anger, while fighting) but she quickly recovers & calls, ‘Link! Im coming! Where are you?’ He calls her name again, & she follows the sound of his voice over the rain. After about 5 minutes she finds him & looks down into the well & sees (to her horror) that the water’s up to his armpits. He’s not yelling anymore but his eyes are wide & scared & (even through the rain) she can see that he’s crying a little. He’s completely soaked & his hair is flat on his forehead. 

She tells him she’s gonna get help, & she hears him say her name again, quietly & in a scared voice, as she runs off to the castle. Which breaks bOth our hearts, writing this makes me feel so bad for him help- 

She gets the first soldiers she finds and tells them that Link is stuck and might be hurt, and to find rope. They’d normally laugh a bit and be in no particular hurry to help because Link gets stuck in random places a lot, and he’s usually not in danger and it’s even pretty funny sometimes, but Zelda looks and sounds so truly panicked they instantly get moving.

After a minute or two they’ve got rope and she takes them out to the well. Link is in up to his shoulders now and he’s still panicked but he’s more just shocked now, standing still with his hands against the wall and breathing quickly and shallowly. They make a knot in the rope and lower it down. Link grabs on & they pull him out. He’s just sort of in shock (maybe literally, idk about doctors and medicine bla bla bla science biology things fuck u) 

Zelda tells the soldiers that she’ll help him herself now, thanks them, and asks them to not tell anyone. They’re like ‘a’ight’ & go chill and dry off

Zelda takes Link to her room and gets 2 blankets (from where? I dont fucking know shut up) and dries him off with one and wraps him up with the other. He’s shook so he’s just sort of sits still and moves when she asks. His clothes dry off pretty quickly once hes indoors because idk. I want them to. Im writing this i can make it unrealistic if i want to 

But anyways she sits him down next to her bed & she sits on her bed & watches him. After maybe 30 minutes in which neither of them move she asks him if he’s ok. He nods a little & looks at her & they just stare at eachother for a while. Eventually Link looks away and flops his head over on the edge of Zelda’s bed. After a minute Zelda puts her hand on top of his head and lays down to sleep. Link shuts his eyes & they both go to sleep. 

And from then on he had aquaphobia and slight claustrophobia! Hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay hahahahahahahahahahaha. haha. hah. haaaah

trauma

poor little boye

Also i hit the discord character limit twice, there’s about... 5000 characters in this thing lmao

The outline for the fic is a whole fic of its own :o /j

but yeah like... give my boy something he can fight and he’s fearless. Take away his control over the outcome and he’s terrified

i really like this for some reason. it’s shit writing and im not even sure the story is that good but like... probably one of my favorite fic ideas. idk im going to bed today has been weirdly tiring

[tinysatansierra-blog]

Markiplier manor is toxic here’s why

So Markiplier manor (Markipliers official discord server) has gotten a surplus of new people in it, this happened a few weeks ago the manor itself though has been up for awhile. originally a members only server it was eventually opened up for everyone and yes there are alot of genuinely good people and the mods are alright but unfortunately its becoming a toxic environment. 

SO EDIT i have discussed with the mods that being said ... im keeping this up as a reminder of we can do better we can help people who are struggling through something instead of shutting them down we can listen to people who are being oppressed and bravely point out new media that only worsens that oppression and stigmatization and not just the mods who i was kind of harsh towards but who are human everyone as a community can do better and this is a large community think of the work we can do just doing the basics like boycotting problematic content and helping those who cry out for it who need it (and noticing and shutting down manipulative/toxic behaviors) ... i dont know if im going to go back to the manor yet tho im going to let this sit give it a week yall can agree or disagree but know that if you try to be an ass your going to get shut down and your feelings are going to get hurt 

lets start with the basics “triggering topics” triggering topics can be anything in particular but it generally means a topic that relates to another persons trauma. Now while it is important to acknowledge a persons trigger words and try to keep the conversation respectable ive also noticed people use it to shut down people who come on freaking out because their dealing with a stressful situation/something traumatic just happened. This has happened to me personally and to a friend with me it was about being pro choice and having to in short make that actual choice. i was discussing this in the bathroom because i (like anyone else who comes in with baggage) did not know about any pro choice discords at that moment and was afraid of being stigmatized or going onto a discord that says its a safe space only for it to be filled with trolls. Mark manor is labeled as a safe space and many people come on there looking for support with me no one told me that the topic was triggering to them (which apparently it was because a friend of theirs had to make the choice not her herself think what you will) they just went to a mod early on when i just found the server as a member a friend (who i wont name) had gotten.... assaulted majority of her werent online and as someone who has been there and yes when she told me it did trigger my own trauma she needed moral support... the mod shut her down and deleted her comments and didnt give her a pointer to any other discord where she could discuss the topic openly and get moral support and be pointed to resources (it actually took me ten minutes to find and confirm a lgbtq therapy chat earlier this year for another individual discussing mental health) this was before i had gotten on for that day but i noticed those messages and i contacted her when she told me what was up yea it triggered my memories and its not fun but I FUCKING HELPED HER i made sure she went to the police to atleast file a statement (while the police dont always help it is good to have it on file) i even made her a plush and shipped it out to her and i would do it again and again because its not good to basically tell another person to shut up because it triggers others not without atleast trying to help them find another fucking place and making sure their actually ok and in a physical safe place  next is them claiming the manor is a “safe space” a safe space is by definition  “ a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.” you would also think that the manor would be a safe space in the fact that marginalized and oppressed groups of people would be able to point out problematic content and have an open and free discussion about it and how it makes them uncomfortable. especially people of lgbtq community which alot of people in that chat are. yesterday (and this was what caused me to officially turn away from the server) in the patio (which is the members only chat) a Transgender individual pointed out the problematic content that is huniepop and how it fetishizes trans people as well as other minorities now this game i hear tries to make itself out as a “parody” .... its not its a sexual dating sim what would make it a parody is if sex noises were replaced with donkey sounds and the lewd pictures were replaced with poorly drawn doodles of tits or what have you its a game for incels marks hilarious when he plays it because he doesnt take the game seriously my issue isnt with him its with the developer. and if you did not know (which apparently people dont) the character poli is described as “a girl with a dick” the individual pointed this out because they felt like it dehumanizes them and paints them as nothing more than a fetish... and also apparently you can “choose” is poli is trans which kind of gives off the message that people can ignore trans peoples identity if it makes them uncomfortable... or if they dont sexualize them. and the muslim community is more or less in the same boat i come from the bible belt in usa im not muslim i am not trans but i do have a reason for standing with both and i will get to that in a bit so i was raised in a christian household in a christian setting like muslim women were basically told we cannot have sex and any sexual thought is sinful and we will be punished blah blah blah your even more closeted if your gay or bi because then you can face ... violence that being said to make the woman from the middle east hyper sexual like they did is kind of shitty even for a incel pleasing sex game. the individual who thought it would be ok to discuss this in the server because its labeled as a safe space and is generally “lgbtq” friendly thus believing he would have people agree and discuss ... was unceremoniously shut down by their peers and a mod was notified this person was not hostile maybe a bit frustrated because he wanted to talk about it and thought he would have this genuinely helpful conversation and people would listen and spread the word because to have problematic content be popular can isolate the oppressed group even more so WHEN NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO THEM. if a group of marginalized people notice something problematic with content and you claim to be an ally of said group then you need to acknowledge and support what they say. they told him to go to twitter where he could potentially be bullied and written off ... because again its an INCEL PLEASING SEX GAME.(which means incels if you ever dealt with them will go and say anything to justify the game even using slurs and bullying) and to put the icing on the cake to change the topic they brought up robin ... i actually dont know who robin is as i dont really focus much on youtube creators personal stuff (it feels off for me to not personally know an individual but know their personal stuff without having actually talking to them its weird i know its a thing i have in my head) but apparently they recently came out as female and good for them im super proud of him and the patio members were discussing how they were proud of him as well for beginning to wear makeup and making themselves more feminine which would be great if they werent trying so hard to shut down the trans male who was trying to spread awareness on problematic stuff .... something he pointed out ... and something they gaslighted and said he was being hostile. really its almost as if they only care about trans issues when its someone famous discussing them  so what can we possibly do about huniepop being transphobic and the answer is very easy BOYCOTT IT like... yall were up in arms and boycotted jk rowling with snap and a turn do we only cancel the old and ugly? do we only cancel those who we dont think is funny? mark is not at fault he probably doesnt realize it and any comments made on the issue are talked down upon or drowned amongst other comments im not saying to cancel him im saying to cancel the game HARD. ignore the posts bitch at the dev demand refunds for your game. like consumers have infinitely more power than corps want to admit.  so you basically have a community that claims to be a safe space but only if you want to talk about sunshine and rainbows and its highly hypocritical of them to claim safety.  another thing is emotionally abusive/manipulative people hide in the server and the mods dont ever seem to acknowledge it. i cannot tell you how many times ive gotten into arguments with people who seems nice then turn into assholes then claim to be the victim when i or others go off on them. if you recognize my name you know i dont stand down when it comes to having a snarky or rude comment thrown at me if your going to be an ass were fighting i dont care how nice you seemed beforehand and you dont get to call a mod just because i actually stood up for myself or others sorry not sorry dont be a bitch nuff said.  now why would i care so much about problematic content? why would i care and stand by the transgender and muslim people (aside from being ya know... an actual ally and not someone who claims it for sympathy and brownie points?) its because i am autistic i am also able to function well on my own but there is a movie created by the famous singer sia it is called music it is a movie frowned upon by the autisitic community because infantizes and dehumanizes non verbal autistic people i am fortunate and unfortunate in not having to deal with much stigma unfortunate because i wasnt diagnosed until i was 17 alot of answers about my behavior could have been answered if i had been diagnosed earlier but considering society loves the quiet timid female and i functioned “well” for neurotypicals i was ignored. so yea you bet your ass im standing with them and raising awareness about huniepop and their was this one person when i mentioned this point i cant remember there name nor to do i give a shit about them because when i mentioned how autistic people ... how i was in the same boat with music by sia (again i advise that no one target the actress who was under contract target sia and please boycott her so she knows she cant get brownie points or money for a movie that stigmatizes who she claims she wants to “help” (*cough* profit off of *cough cough*) and only serves as a feel good movie for neurotypicals and ignorant people)  they said “i heard people who hated the movie i heard people who found it alright people are ALLOWED to like problematic content” ... and like ... does anyone else see the problem here? its not hard at all to boycott celebrities for making content  and im going to repeat this point  IF A GROUP OF MARGINALIZED, STIGMITIZED AND OPPRESSED PEOPLE CALL OUT SOMETHING FOR BEING PROBLEMATIC AND YOU CLAIM TO BE AN ALLY YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM AND DONT SHUT THEM DOWN I DONT GIVE A SHIT YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING EXCUSE. if you cant bring yourself to boycott a piece of media and replace it with the infinitely more suitable forms that supports the group you claim to be for your not an ally your a fucking hypocrite  and that is why i left markiplier manor i am still a youtube special ... thingy member and i will continue to be a member to support mark i want people to overall listen to those who speak up against a creator and a piece of media and listen to us all no matter how “good” something seems. .. also there is a video called listen it was created by nonverbal autistic people  and communicationFIRST a group that sia apparently communicated with for her movie... and then ignored  https://youtu.be/H7dca7U7GI8

[kiridork]

Some more Kyo headcanons

So last night me and a few people on my discord server were talking about Kyo and Tohru and it led into a conversation involving Kyo’s PTSD (i know he’s not diagnosed but he’s had so much trauma in his life and has had nightmares and panic attacks that I would be surprised if he doesn’t). It led into talking about possible triggers that Kyo might have and I wanted to share the four that I came up with. WARNING this post not only has spoilers for the series but it can deal with touchy subjects so heed with caution! 

Okay, so I ended up trying to come up with triggers that involved the most traumatic things that happened in his life (traumatic events that Kyo has witnessed first hand). These would essentially be: the abuse caused by Kyo’s father, witnessing his mom’s suicide (look the trailer for season 2 pretty much said it so i’m rolling with it), experiences with his true form, and Kyoko’s accident. 

Before I get into it more, these are the things that Kyo experienced first hand. Tohru falling off the cliff would not be traumatic for him since he wasn’t there when she fell, he only saw the aftermath of it. This also relates to the cats room because while it is very depressing to know that you’re life is over before you start it, he was never put into the room, which would have definitely caused trauma.  Also, I know that Kyo was very isolated when he was a kid and that kind of neglect can cause trauma, Kyo tends to like being alone so I feel as though that would be very conflicting thing to go about. 

Anyway! I decided that because these events were traumatic (a few of them were repetitive trauma), he has triggers correlating with each event. Here are four of them that I came up with:

Crowded traffic/intersections: this one correlates with Kyoko and her accident. I feel like the intersection they were both at is very busy with lots of people and very loud with the sound of cars and people talking. Those things bring flashbacks to that day with Kyoko and cause him to panic.

Subway stations and the subway: This one correlates with his mom’s suicide. Of what the season 2 trailer shows, to me it’s pretty clear that he was there when his mom jumped in front of the train. I know that there’s a panel in the manga showing Kazuma showing Kyo trains. That’s why I specified to the subway because in that panel it looks like those were cargo carts which look completely different than a Japanese subway train. These also make Kyo panic and he tries to avoid them as much as he can.

Grabbing his wrist: I’m saying more as in a way to try to stop someone from going or trying to get someone’s attention. That kind of fast, instant grab. Not like how Tohru tenderly grabbed his wrist during volume 8. This one hundred percent involves his true form. Pretty much every time Kyo transforms into his true form, it’s always because someone forcefully grabs his wrist and pulls his bracelet off. Which could be another explanation why he flipped that girl who grabbed his arm (with other causes of course). Side note: I also feel like after the curse breaks there are times Kyo looks at his wrist to see his bracelet gone and panics until he remembers that the curse broke and he doesn’t need it anymore. 

Cigarette Smoke: This one is kind of far fetched one but I couldn’t figure out one that would correlate with his dad’s abuse since we don’t see a whole lot of it in the series (we really only see one of Kyo’s flashbacks for that). I did remember that his dad smokes. Which the smell of cigarettes could trigger memories of his dad smoking and the abuse that went on during living with him. I know that Shigure smokes too (or well in the manga he does. due to japan’s strict smoking laws it’s not allowed to be showed on tv anymore) which is why this one isn’t so much triggering. It was at first, but since Shigure smokes a lot he had to get used to it and now it just leaves him feeling ill. It’s also interesting that this is the exact opposite of @lilbeehive‘s headcanon about Tohru liking the smell of cigarette smoke because the smell reminds her of her mom (who did smoke).

I feel like there could be a few more things that could trigger him but I can’t really think of any at the moment. But I do want to say a few more things while I’m on the subject:

I 100% agree with @mistergrass‘s headcanon about Kyo having a panic attack the first night that he stayed at Shigure’s house. Just think about it: your master left you alone to fend for yourself for who knows how long, you make a bet with your god that determines your future, you go and fight your cousin only to be transformed and informed that this girl who was there just so happened to be the daughter of the women that you allowed to die, then out of all that you are ordered by your god to live at this house with the cousin you hate (and pushed all of your traumatic experiences on) and that same girl relating to a traumatic experience you wanted to forget. ... Yeah I would have a panic attack too. Oh and also you’re sleeping in the living room until your room is figured out. Awesome. I think once Kyo had been left alone while everyone went to bed, the living room dark and empty, he would contemplate what the fuck happened and then immediately freak out when he realizes what this entails. 

Lastly, I would like to mention I do believe that even after the curse, Kyo still panics, has nightmares, and is still trying to cope with all of this. Traumatic events and PTSD don’t just magically go away when one problem is solved. They are still there and it’s something that has to be constantly managed. It doesn’t get fixed, you just learn healthy coping mechanisms and ways to manage it in your day to day life. And I think Tohru really helps him through this as well and her and kazuma are really good support systems. Also if him completely repressing the memory of his dad yelling at his mom that both him and her should die, who the fuck knows what other memories he’s repressing too. I don’t know, I just think that with Rin saying she is still in pain after everything and how that message was saying that it’ll be a long time for everyone to heal, it just feels right that Kyo, and everyone else, is still dealing with this fucked up situation.

Those were my thoughts and this entire thing which I needed to get out of my head. Hope you found this interesting!

[the-bjd-community-confess]

DoA megapost (22 confessions)

Mod: So https://true-bjd-confessions.tumblr.com/post/189300138511/mod-due-to-excessive-offtopic-arguing-in-the

All you guys’ pending DoA confessions presented in no specific order, before we move into the hold, as announced above.

To be clear: I think this is a feature DoA should have yesterday. It’s completely inappropriate to force people to use deadnames and names which are related to traumatic life experiences, or be banned. 

However, *weary sigh, gesturing at the multiple 70+ reply confessions on this topic* people told me they were finding the rapidly escalating discussion to be upsetting and offputting, and that’s not my goal for this blog. ❤️

1.

I am exceptionally weary of all the DoA hate over the person who got banned over making a new account after not being allowed to change their user name. DoA isn’t the only doll forum out there. If you don’t like their rules, don’t join. I for one find their rules about on- and off-topic dolls to be unfair and arbitrary as hell, but in the end it comes down to their house, their rules. Move on.

~Anonymous

2.

Us: Sure would be nice to maybe be able to change your name on DOA.

Some of y’all: Are you asking for anarchy?? If we allow this, what’s next?? A reasonable review of outdated rules??? The rules are there for a reason!!1! The reason may be antiqued because technology has updated and changed since then, meaning there are better solutions available, but it’s still a reason so we DEFINITELY should NEVER change!! Change is too scary for me. :( You’re bullies who want to be special :((( Stop that :(

~Anonymous

3.

I love seeing people get so offended at anon saying “bigots”. How do you know it was about you ? Guilty conscience? DOA could allow name changes if they really wanted to. There are other hobbies where they forbid certain people from entering forums while still allowing name changes. It’s not hard if you really care.      

~Anonymous      

4.

Honestly the way people fall all over themselves to defend DoA against any sort of criticism (regardless of how you personally feel about the validity of said criticism, reader) makes me glad I never got into the community aspect of this hobby. It's just... stressful.          

~Anonymous  

5.

The transphobia in the comments on this blog in particular are so gross. Being a bigot makes your dolls instantly hideous. And no, I’m not saying everyone who is defending DOAs decision is transphobic. I’m talking about the one who thinks trans people transitioning is wrong and their friends. You’re gross and so are your dolls.

~Anonymous  

6.

scammers can & will get around DOA's no name change policy, it's really not that safe. also, DOA isn't the only website which allows the sale of high-value items.

~Anonymous  

7.

First it's "if you want name changes coded in DoA, offer to do it yourself!", then it's "why tf would DoA accept some rando to help code their site?" make up your goddamn mind, your argument is falling apart. 

Also when did this issue become "DoA vs trans people"? Like, I like DoA yet I also recognize it should be more accessible and updated for the modern userbase. I want it to become as good as it can be because I like the community and would hate to see it die out like so many other forum sites do. Yes, it has flaws- and believe me, the folks who get extremely upset about the idea of admitting that embarrass me- but I liked the format since I was new to the hobby. I just wish it was more inclusive!    

~Anonymous    

8.     

girlisav3rb: "this isn't about exclusion or leaving anyone out". Also girlisav3rb: "I'm just kicking your punk ass off [obvious metaphor for DoA]" yyyyiiiiikkkees      

~Anonymous    

9. 

The DOA username debate is really starting to feel like 4 people's personal beefs against each other. It isn't really about dolls and I wish it wasn't dominating all the confessions here. I don't really care about watching pomoaples, pupkinspce, aigisthewlve and tellmeifthursday make fools of themselves daily.        

~Anonymous      

10.

Say it louder for the people in the back: IF YOU INSIST ON NAME CHANGES FOR DOA, THEN VOLUNTEER YOUR CODING EXPERTISE. Don't know how to code and are just squawking about something you can't directly contribute towards? Then shut up or offer up money so the mods can hire a computer programmer to make the changes you're DEMANDING from a FREE service.        

~Anonymous

11.

God it's so painfully obvious to see how many of the people defending DoA on the grounds that name changes would destroy the integrity of the website have never ever worked on or even been part of a forum or really any website of any kind in their lives. Seriously arguing that "the database" would break if you changed a name like?? No??? Have you ever seen a server backend before? You can automate this shit, you know, keep a log of former names, just... it's not some big huge challenge??? 

~Anonymous 

12.           

I don't have a horse in the trans name change race but calling DoA one of the friendlies communities around is abject bullshit lmao. There's not a more elitist, paranoid, abusive community this side of comic books -- but that kind of goes for this hobby as a whole, let's be honest.           

~Anonymous     

13. 

THE RULES ARE IMPORTANT WE CAN't cHANGE THE RULES IT WILL LEAD TO CHAOS IF WE CHANGE ONE RULE WHERE WILL IT END THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!! In my town it used to be THE RULES that POC have to go to separate schools and use separate bathrooms, but sure, the rules are the most important thing, not the people. And before anyone says cOmPaRiNg DoLlS tO rAciSm, 1) shitting on trans people IS a form of prejudice you smoothbrains, and 2) my ass is POC and I call it like I see it. Check yourselves.            

~Anonymous   

14.   

I personally think DOA should just.. go away? It’s been around for years, most people use it as reference rather than a community anymore. Everything is on FaceBook and Instagram now, DOA is pretty much just a glorified Dolly Dictionary at this point. Besides, if they aren’t going to change an Incredibly simple, easy thing to change just to accommodate transitioning people, it’s not the best place to be.

~Anonymous  

15.

I mean about the whole rules is rules is rules thing about doa: the thing is, some rules are there for a reason and obviously do need to be respected whether you agree with them or not, like don’t block fire exits, murder is bad, etc. but some rules eventually become outdated and need to be changed to keep up with society, and that doesn’t make the people pointing out that they need to be changed evil or entitled or spoiled. Imagine if we all still had to drive 10 mph everywhere because when someone pointed out that car technology had improved since 1915 and the speed limit should be increased accordingly everyone had just shouted them down with “BUT TEH RUUULLLEESS!!!” You’d be pretty interested in getting some of this “special treatment” yourself so you could get to work on time, huh?

~Anonymous  

16.

Honestly the easiest solution would be let people change their names only once and have it trackable.. as a trans dude its NOT that deep.     

~Anonymous        

17.

I notice that the unrelenting attacks on DoA are now even using the same phraseology along with the name-calling and implications of sinister motives. These are textbook bullying tactics. Next is the boycott, except that most of these people already say they don’t use the forum because they are just too “21st Century” for it.

Luckily this is just a confession board and no matter how many folks you manage to rile up here, it’s not going to affect DoA. Now, this is why I love DoA–you can’t go on their own site and spew this nonsense. They have Rules. They are Strict. They attempt to avoid drama, especially off-topic drama, and they don’t allow meanness, vulgarity or obscenity. If you’re looking for a pleasant, safe space, it’s your best bet.

~Anonymous

18.

Easy to lay bigotry, laziness, stupidity and worse on DoA mods for not just accepting tales of trauma and pasts to erase.  But the internet has always been full of lies by people trying to get their own way or escape consequences. Not just pro scammers. People who cry things like illness, trauma, disaster, family or pet problems over and over to get sympathy for demands or as all-purpose excuses. Recast ownership lies. People who never got a no before, and don't like being turned down no-how.

~Anonymous

19.

I just realized that no one understands the people saying DOA can allow name changes are the people who have actually modded forums before, most forums unless they’re running a totally outdated system use user id numbers that are linked to display names, which can be changed, and you can write a simple string of simple-baby-code to show old display names on a profile, to explain it in simple terms.   

~Anonymous                    

20.

Honestly I think that the anti-name change people are mostly just shilling for DoA because they can't believe that their precious forum with its volunteer mods could be anything but flawless. Or something like that, given how indignantly these people have *always* reacted to confessions criticizing DoA, even before the trans controversy was a thing. There have definitely been some obvious transphobes as well though, whose bile is really more suited to conservative FB pages or something. Go away!          

~Anonymous

21.   

the DOA mods can obviously change people's usernames because it's 2019 and basically every other site in existence can do it. they might have to change the site slightly to accomplish this. maybe there are reasons for them to choose not to do that, but let's stop pretending it's some technological impossibility.

~Anonymous

22.

How about this: Implement a system on DoA that indentifies users by a unique code and allow users to have a changeable display name. Changing the display name could become a paid feature to pay for the technical changes. Think of a system like discord has. It's a win-win situation. Thoughts?            

~Anonymous

[rfjackaby]

something of an open book

title: something of an open book chapter: 1/6 words: 2054 summary: There are stages of intoxication: six, to be precise. Jackaby discovers four. Not that anyone is counting. (But he is definitely counting.) a/n: this fic was prompted by the jackaby discord server and is extremely self-indulgent. enjoy!! includes HEAVY SPOILERS for the dire king! ao3

pre-intoxication

There’s already a pretty pink blush spreading unevenly across Hank Hudson’s cheeks as he extends an arm and shakes an open bottle of ale in Jackaby’s general direction. There’s just enough amber colored liquid inside that it sloshes over the glass rim and forms small, bubbly puddles in the dips of his knuckles.

Scowling, Hank reaches across the kitchen table —  newly purchased, at Abigail’s plea — and uses his hook to snatch up a hand towel and dry himself off. He flings the towel behind him, and judging by the several thuds that follow, Jackaby suspects it must have collided with the fruit cauldron.

His suspicions are confirmed as an orange or perhaps an apple rolls across the floor, quickly disappearing from his line of sight. He gathers himself up to collect it, but is interrupted as Hank begins to whine.

“Come on, R.F.,” the hunter sighs, eyes widening to adopt a look more akin to a puppy than a 50-something year old man.

Jackaby arches an eyebrow, and there’s an amused hum from the far corner of the room. He glances over —  meets a sparkling pair of warm, soft eyes. Jenny grins as they lock gazes, her spectral hair twisting and turning around her in slow waves. Realistically, he knows his heart does nothing but begin to pound just a little bit harder in his chest, but he could swear it genuinely skips a beat at Jenny’s smile. Warmth floods his cheeks. After a moment, Jackaby purses his lips. He feigns annoyance in regards to Hank's begging, but narrows his eyes in what he imagines is thinly disguised amusement.

Dragging his attention back to Hank, Jackaby pushes himself away from the counter where he had been leaning. He shoves one hand into the depths of his pocket and uses the other to wrangle with the nest of black hair atop his head.

“You know I don’t drink —”

“To keep a clear head, blah blah blah. But ya’ don’t even need to have a clear head anymore, though, do ya’?” Hank leans forward in his chair, his hooked-arm resting on the table, and points rather dramatically to his widened eyes. He’s trying to make a point.

As if Jackaby doesn't already know.

Hank cocks an eyebrow when Jackaby neither says nor does anything in response, and then falls heavily back against the chair, folding his arms across the chest. Jackaby shakes his head softly, ignoring the weight in his chest. He backs up slowly until he's once more pressed up against the counter, then drops his attention to his shoes.

To his right, there’s a soft huff somewhere between amusement and consideration. Out of the corner of his eye, he looks toward Charlie, sat upon the kitchen table despite Jackaby’s complaints.

("That's where some of the faeries collect their honey!"

"We'll, there aren't any faeries here now, are there? Oh, I suppose you wouldn't... er, that is... there isn't any honey out, anyway... Abigail? Can I sit here?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. Do you think wine? Or champagne?"

“Miss Rook! Please! "

"Both...? Both.")

Now, atop the counter, Charlie grins sheepishly. It has been nearly five months since the man died (quite traumatically —  one of the things they have in common) only to be revived a few days later by the Twine.

The first few weeks of his revival had left Charlie drained and sickly, with an ashen quality to his skin. Stomaching food had been hard for him, and there had been several occasions where his canine side had abruptly appeared unannounced, startling the entire household. Abigail had refused to leave his bedside over those weeks despite Jackaby’s reassurances that this was normal, that he would be fine.

Apparently, there was something off about his aura.

Not that he understood what that meant anymore.

Charlie has long since recovered. His cheeks are now flooded with tipsy warmth and, as he leans over the edge of the counter toward Jackaby, strength ripples in his forearms. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to… but one bottle won’t hurt.”

“And,” cries a new voice from the doorway, “this is a celebration!”

The four of them turn to watch as Abigail swans into the room, clutching a bottle of red wine in one hand and champagne in the other. There’s a slight sway to her step and a flush to her cheeks as she hurries to the table and sets the bottles down with perhaps a bit too much force. She had insisted she wouldn't drink too much, but he suspects she's perhaps overestimated her abilities.

Jackaby looks away as she spins on her heels in an attempt to meet his gaze. Yes, he thinks, hunching his shoulders, a celebration. A celebration for another closed case…

He thinks he hears a huff of frustration, but if it was ever there at all, Abigail cuts it off just as quickly as it began. “You should relax a little,” she says softly.

Behind her, a gun fires off.

Or rather, the champagne bottle does. The cork shoots across the room with impressive force. It cuts straight through Jenny, who has floated to the opposite side of the table of Hank, and collides with the large skeleton hanging from the ceiling. The bones sway for a moment, and although Jackaby doubts it would ever fall, he still tenses up.

Hank breaks the silence with a snort, bubbles flowing from the mouth of the bottle in his grasp. With his hook, he pulls a glass across the table towards him, and begins to pour.

Jenny whips around, her face burning grey in anger; Abigail carries on the conversation before Hank loses his other hand.

“Really, sir,” she says, reaching for a bottle of wine and a clean glass. Jackaby watches the liquid splash around the rim, but ultimately settle back into the cup. Abigail holds it out to him; he eyes it with wrinkled nose. “We’d love to have you join... and, I don't know, you might enjoy it?”

For a moment, he considers it. Hank is right in saying he doesn’t technically need a clear head any longer. But then, there’s the cases —  he says as much. Charlie blows out his cheeks, a quiet but incredulous laugh following close behind.

“You don’t help with cases anymore, though,” he mumbles into his bottle of ale. It isn't a bitter comment; it's just a drunken statement, not meant to attack or accuse. Regardless, Jackaby feels the blow as if Charlie had physically struck his chest.

Abigail glares at Charlie, her jaw clenching. The latter avoids her gaze, ducking his head in regret.

Charlie’s right, anyways —  he doesn’t help with cases. But the next case —  he’ll help with the next one, for sure.

(Or at least, that’s what he's been telling himself for the last five months)

…It isn’t that he doesn’t want to help with cases —  honest, he does.

Fae knows he’d love to be back in the New Fiddleham streets. Hell, he might even enjoy speaking with Marlowe again. But ever since the battle with the Dire King… ever since his entire goddamn world shattered he passed the Sight on to Abigail, the idea of facing the world makes his stomach twist into knots and his throat clench until he can't breathe.

Instead of going out, he occasionally sorts through and organizes files while Abigail and Charlie run off to investigate. But if that isn't an option, which he often finds it isn’t, he typically spends the day in his chair with a cup of tea and a novel (enjoyable enough, but he can only read Wuthering Heights so many times) or he'll sleep the day away (the much preferred option —  it’s quiet, and he doesn’t have to think).

The thing is, when Jackaby was young, he adopted his job as a private investigator in order to put his role as the Seer to good use. It was his abilities that saved humans and creatures alike. Jackaby himself had been... a puppet, almost. As much as he loves being able to sleep, as much as he loves the lack of nightmares… he's nothing without the Sight.

Jackaby swallows around a thick lump welling in the center of his throat. His eyes flutter shut, his lips press together into a thin line.

“...Fine.”

The word comes out weaker than he intended, but if he’s being honest with himself, it really could never have come out any other way. What follows is a heavy silence that makes the wretched knots twist in his abdomen. His fingers dance impatiently at his side, and he nervously shifts his weight from foot to foot, hollowing his cheeks.

Hank finally breaks the silence, first with a short series of laughter, then with a hiccup. Then, finally: “What.... really?”

Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Jenny drift towards him. He feels the weight of her palm on his shoulder. “You really don’t need to, dear,” she murmurs, squeezing once —  twice. The pressure is calming, and he leans into it ever so slightly.

When he looks up, he looks up at her; she almost seems to be more solid than usual. Jenny cocks her head, blinking at him and twisting her lips in uncertainty. Jackaby draws in a subtle but deep breath; holds it; releases.

“Of course I don't need to,” he agrees finally, plastering on a lop-sided grin. "But like you said, Miss Rook... time to relax a little."

At first, he tries to look Abigail in the eyes. But her stormy grey gaze cuts into him, and his heart plummets. Although he's beaming at her, he looks just over her shoulder. If she realizes this, she doesn't comment on it. Perhaps she's used to it by now.

At his side, Jenny makes a small noise in the back of her throat, giving his shoulder a gentle but insistent shake. He looks to her, hoping his eyes don't betray the hard rock that has formed in his stomach.

Her eyes search his; it always make him squirm when she does this. Before, his eyes were a locked door. Somehow, he lost that security, and became something of an open book. Before Jenny can find what she’s looking for, he twists on his heels, examining the options before him.

The left of the table offers him only one option. He tasted a drop of wine as a child; it had made him gag. Granted that was nearly 20 years ago now, but he still finds he's in no hurry to repeat the experience. The right side provides champagne, ale, and a half empty bottle of rum Hank brought. After a moment of consideration, Jackaby gestures to the bottle of ale that had started this mess in the first place.

Everyone likes beer, right?

Hank sits up a little straighter. It appears that he tries to adopt a stoic, or perhaps cautious look, but his eyes are dancing in anticipation. Jackaby can’t count the amount of times Hank has tried to get him to drink —  the hunter is finally getting his wish.

“You sure?” Hank asks gruffly, grabbing the bottle perhaps a little too eagerly. Jackaby starts to respond, but cuts himself off. Hank is already lurching to his feet and swerving around the corner of the table. Stopping by his side, he shoves the bottle into Jackaby's hand, then claps him firmly on the center of his back. The impact sends Jackaby stumbling forward; he catches himself on the table, huffing softly in amusement. He steadies himself, then looks down at the bottle in his hand, giving himself a final chance to back out.

If this had happened six months ago, he would never even have gotten this far.

He was a good person back then; he did things, he helped people.

What was he now? An empty shell?

If he scowls right now like he wants to, he suspects Jenny, or perhaps even Abigail, might snatch the drink out of his hands. They’re both watching him with furrowed brows —  he’s not used to people being able to read him so easily. No one ever used to be able to read him unless he wanted them to.

Well.

That’s not true.

She could.

In a few swift motions, Jackaby downs the entire bottle of ale.

[fieryartemispublications]

The Witch King of the North and the Prophecized One Who Will Defeat Him (or how Lorrainna Kilbern’s life went downhill on her 16th birthday)

I thought I’d share some very rough brainstorming for a high fantasy/chosen one story that’s been floating around my head for a long, long time.  I recently shared this in my NaNoWriMo Discord server with my friends.  It was fun to write and thought I’d put it up here for tumblr to see!

About two weeks or so ago, I posted this (much more polished scene)!  It’s about the villain of the story. 

It’s super long so it’s under a read more!

The story opens the day before the protagonist’s (Lorrainna) 16 birthday. She doesn’t want a party since 4 years or so ago, her parents left and never returned a month before her elder brother’s (Ben) 16th birthday. However her friends are planning one anyways. After a lengthy discussion with Ben that night, Lorrainna sort of accepts that there’s nothing that she can do about her friends.

It all ends up moot because in the early morning hours of the next morning, Lorrainna and Ben awaken to something scuffling about in their shop below their apartment. The two of them go to investigate and discover several, horrific monsters (fiends) ransacking the place. Ben jumps to defend the place as it is their livelihood and encourages Lorrainna to run and get help from their neighbors. Lorrainna, however, has grown up with stories about magic, monsters, fiends, and a nightmarish Witch King from the northern continent and doesn’t want to leave her brother to what she thinks is a definite death sentence. Lorrainna begs her brother to flee with her and to come back with the city guard. Before either can argue more, the fiends open a dark portal and start to pull Ben into it. Lorrainna jumps in to save him, holding on to him for dear life.

As the fiends go to pull them apart as they fall through the portal, creatures made of pure light appear out of nowhere and attack the fiends. In the scuffle and confusion though, Lorrainna and Ben lose their grip on each other and become separated.

Lorrainna blacks out (or something) and when she comes to, she is no longer in her home and is instead lying in an unfamiliar alley. The entire city around her is different than the desert oasis she grew up in. People around her are speaking the language of the north, which she has only heard a bits and pieces of from traders. It hits her that she is smack dab in the middle of the “Witch Kingdom,” transported their by dark/evil means. Lorrainna quite promptly freaks the frick out and causes a scene while frantically calling for Ben.

She, unfortunately, attracts the attention of a group of teenagers. They follow her, yelling and obviously jeering at her. Lorrainna decides to cut her losses and take time to compose herself so she ducks back into another alley to get away. They follow her to continue harassing her. It’s only then that she notices they have some barely big sticks. They jump her and beat her. Or they try to. Lorrainna manages to wrestle a stick from one of them and proceeds to fight back. Something that the teens seem to find infuriating.

Before things get out of hand, two more teenage boys show up. An off duty palace guard initiate (Julian) and a mage student (Dierks).

Dierks quickly disables a couple aggressors with spells while Julian makes his status as a palace guard known. Those who weren’t incapacitated by Dierks flee.  Lorrainna definitely wants to run from the “Witch” but finds herself unable to. Because he’s frozen her and she’s been kind of beat to shit.

Dierks and Julian are quick to figure out that the teens were the aggressors based on Lorrainna’s injuries.  However their assurances that she’s not in any danger go over Lorrainna’s head because she doesn’t speak the language and all she knows is that there is a witch talking to her and all of a sudden he’s very interested in her eyes.

Dierks quickly casts a spell (a comprehend language sort of spell) on her. Lorrainna’s torrent of insults suddenly become comprehensible to them and they realize that Lorrainna is scared out of her freaking mind.

So, Dierks and Julian realize that Lorrainna is a bit on the terrified and will bolt side and have to gain her trust enough to calm her down. I think this happens by Dierks healing her a bit and assuring her that she can defend herself without question in she feels in danger. (This part is a bit fuzzy still. I’m working on it lol). The two boys then proceed to ask her about where she came from, asking her about why she’s so far from home (Esseris in the south) and who she came to Talmon (the “Witch Kingdom”) with.

Lorrainna very cautiously tells the two of them about the encounter she and Ben had. Dierks and Julian realize that fiends that far south and abducting people is a very bad thing. Then Julian ask Lorrainna if she knows why the fiends attacked her and her brother.  Lorrainna says she has no idea but Dierks directs Julian to take a look at Lorrainna’s purple eyes.

The distinguishing trait of the Talmonian royal family. Julian turns and looks at the teens who attack Lorrainna and tells them they just landed themselves in a heap of trouble. The king isn’t going to be super excited that his kin was cornered and beat with sticks in a back alley. Lorrainna looks at Dierks and asks what in the hell Julian is talking about. Dierks then has the daunting task of asking Lorrainna several questions about her parents. As Lorrainna suspiciously answers them, she begins to realize that Dierks knows a lot of specific details about them. He ends his questions saying he doesn’t know where her brother is but that she has a cousin who has a great capacity to help her find him. That’s how Lorrainna winds up in the royal palace, meeting the man she always was told was the “Witch King,” and discovering that Talmon is technically the home of her parents and that Ben was technically born there as well. Her cousin, Isaac, is dumbstruck to see his young cousin in his throne room and is instantly overjoyed to meet a part of his family that he thought was lost. He’s also incredibly worried about the implications of her sudden and rather violent arrival in Talmon.

Isaac tells Lorrainna a story about two lovers from different worlds (her parents) and their young child (her brother) who found themselves in the middle of a prophecy dealing with the return of the long imprisoned warlock who wielded control over fiends.

This child, who carried both the bloodline of the royal Talmonian family and the Ahsophoto would be born in a time when the warlock’s (Riahrahm: working name) deal would weaken and his return inevitable. Only this child would be able to draw the blade of the great warrior king Maxine and destroy Riahrahm once and for all.

Lorrainna realizes that this child must be Ben. And then she realizes that there’s a very strong possibility that they have him and will kill him. She emphatically tells everyone that she needs to find him.

Isaac agrees with her and promises to help her do just that. However, he points out that she is exhausted physically and mentally from her traumatic experience. He encourages her to stay a night or two to recover and catch her bearings before setting out in search of her brother.

Lorrainna barely accepts. Because she’s impetuous and rash.

As arrangements are being made for her night, guards burst in and inform everyone that fiends have been spotted in the castle bowels and are tearing their way through. Isaac mobilizes his guards to seek them out and destroy them. He looks at Julian and Dierks, ordering them to protect his cousin and get her to safety.

The fight within the palace walls is on and while the king is off looking for the fiends, the fiends find Lorrainna, Dierks, and Julian.

Dierks and Julian wind up separated from Lorrainna and Lorrainna finds herself running through the halls of the unfamiliar palace, just trying to avoid the wandering packs of fiends. She’s unarmed but knows if she can find herself a sword, she can probably hold her own. Her father was adamant that she train as a swordsperson and though he disappeared four years before, she had enough training to hold her own for a bit.

That and Ben would occasionally use sticks as swords to spar with her. (Because that’s just what siblings do).

In her mad attempts to find herself a sword, Lorrainna stumbles into a magnificent antechamber. A dazzling sword is in the center of it, struck through a pedestal in the white marble floor. Lorrainna pretty quickly realizes that this is some kind of ceremonial chamber. She’d be almost certain that the sword was ornamental and ceremonial… if it weren’t razor sharp.

As Lorrainna wonders how feasible of a weapon it would make or if it’s just a prop stuck in the ground, fiends burst into the antechamber, chattering and hissing.

Lorrainna jumps backward, within a circle set into the marble (protective ward) and her hands go to the pommel of the blade. As her hands close around it, a throaty voice calls out to her.

“The second child…”

Lorrainna looks up, stunned because it’s speaking a language she understands (that spell Dierks cast on her wore off during the scuffle). She questions the massive fiend the voice came from, demanding to know who and what it is. The fiend tells her that it is only a seeker. It seeks only what it’s master requires of it.

“And last night, did you go seeking Ben?”

“The master required the boy so I fetched him?”

Lorrainna asks if he’s still alive and where he’s at. She dreads the answer but is given a slim bit of hope when the fiend replies that Ben is alive and is in his custody. “I want him back!” She tells the fiend.

“The master requires him. I sought him but now I seek that sword.”

“So why don’t you come and take it then?”-Lorrainna

“I cannot cross the ward.”

“Tragic,” she tells the fiend. Her hand is still on the pommel. Her entire body is thrumming.

“Perhaps we can come to an accord?” The fiend tells her, it’s voice like honey. “An accord?” Asks Lorrainna. “What kind of deal?”

“An exchange. You want your brother back and I want the sword.”

Lorrainna looks at the sword she’s touching. The fiends words ring in her ears. She can feel the sword moving in the pedestal. It will come out if she pulls it.

“If I give you the sword, you’ll give me my brother back?” She asks. The fiend smiles at her, “yes.”

Lorrainna’s eyes narrow.  Her grip tightens in resolve. “My parents didn’t raise a fool!” She hisses at it.

She pulls the sword from the pedestal and raises it into an attack position. As she does four of the light creatures spring into being around her. They charge at the fiends, tearing into them.

Lorrainna charges at the fiend who was tempting her, bringing the sword down on top of it. It reeks backwards, shrieking at the sudden onslaught. Lorrainna drives it back as the light creatures rip into and destroy the other fiends. Within moments the only fiend left is the one in front of Lorrainna. It turns to flee. The light creatures look at her as if waiting for some direction. “Well?  What are you waiting for?  Go get it!”

The light creatures leap at it and Lorrainna renews her attack. The fiend is quickly overwhelmed and creates the same kind of portal she and Ben fell through the in the early morning hours. As it starts to vanish within it, Isaac, Dierks, Julian, and a retinue of palace guards break into the antechamber.

And that’s when everyone suddenly realizes that the prophecy isn’t about Ben. It’s about Lorrainna.

The sword she’s pulled from its rest is Maxin’s blade. The Blade of the Rising Dawn (again working name). And she’s the only one that can stop this ancient evil.