#the difference is so funny. every other poll was so close

[aauroraxia]

𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐨 𝐂𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐨

𝐀. 𝐀𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐬

*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆ synopsis: While undercover at a club, a man starts flirting with Y/N, unaware that she was dating Armando and he was listening to every word that was being said | warnings: none, suggestive themes at the end of the story | pairings: Armando x black reader | Authors Note: This is kind of like what happened in Bad Boys For life. Based off the results from my recent poll, im supposed to be writing a smut story, so that will be part 2 of this story 😉, enjoy!

❣️ Recommended Song: Agora Hills - Doja Cat

-

𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒 popped, music blasted, loud cheers. This mission was definitely interesting.

You and the rest of A.M.M.O squad and a couple others were assigned a mission. Go undercover and arrest Jackson Moore, a sneaky drug lord who could only be found in one place:

𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛

You were tasked with getting close to Moore. You had to dress differently, so Moore would think you were attractive. (The third picture in the beginning is what you’re wearing.)

Getting close to a criminal didn’t really bother you, it’s your job, but it damn sure did bother your boyfriend Armando who was also undercover at the club.

He didn’t want you close to any man that wasn’t him, especially not someone dangerous.

He understood it was your job so he was trying to act fine.

After spotting Moore, you walked over to him slowly, swaying your hips seductively. Once you caught his attention he watched you walk over with a wide smirk on his face.

You had in this earpiece so that everyone else undercover with you, including Armando, could hear everything Moore was saying.

“Dayumm, wassup mama“ Jackson said once you reached him.

“Hey!” You said sitting down beside him, placing one hand on his shoulder.

Just hearing you talk to Jackson made Armando’s blood boil. It was agony for him.

Part of him wanted to walk over to you two and stick a gun in Jackson’s mouth, making him regret the 3 words he’d just said, but he knew you had to finish the mission, so he pushed down his urge.

You continued to make small talk with Jackson. One of his arms were wrapped around your shoulder and his other hand was resting on your thigh. He let his guard down. It was time to strike. Things were getting a little too cozy until Marcus and Mike and a few others came walking around Jackson with Sparklers.

“You’re going jail.” Marcus sung in a funny voice, dancing.

“Yeah you going to jail.” Mike added on dancing as well.

Moore looked at them then back at you who was no longer sitting beside him but instead standing in front him holding a gun in his face.

“Miami PD, you’re under arrest!” You shouted. People were rushing out of the club, shocked cops were there.

Thankfully, Moore didn’t try to run, instead he cooperated. As Mike put him in handcuffs and walked him out of the club he look back at you and smirked, making your face heat up.

His smile faded as he walked away, now he had a scared look in his face. You whipped your head around, seeing your now angry boyfriend staring back.

He leaned down, brushing you curls away from you ear, whispering “Espero que hayas disfrutado coqueteando con él, ahora vuelves a casa.”

Armando turned around and walked out the door. You bent down your head, following him out of the door, already knowing what was gonna happen next.

“Dios ayúdame” you whispered running to catch up with your angry boyfriend.

*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆ | Translations:

Chico Celoso - Jealous Boy

Espero que hayas disfrutado coqueteando con él, ahora vuelves a casa - I hope you enjoyed flirting with him, because now you’re coming home

Dios ayúdame - God help me

[politemenacephd]

Arachnophilia: (Part Twenty-Three)

Drider!Miguel O'Hara x Reader (+18)

Chapter Masterlist 🕷️

Content: Miguel is rutting, Reader is in heat, Breeding kink, Overstimulation, Rough & Gentle PinV sex, Oral sex.

Word count: 5338

Notes: IM BACCCKKK!! Daddy's come back with milk and oh god we all know what kind of milk I mean, ENJOY! Threesome chapter will be next, along with a non-threesome version, thanks to the last poll we did. Both can be interpreted as canon, it's whatever you want.

Mig was right. It was a long week.

While you could go for maybe an hour or more without feeling the urge, when it hit you were almost incapacitated by a need for each other.

Most of the time Mig approached you in a soft, docile, almost submissive manner. He’d get on his belly and rustle his abdomen, affectionately laying his head on your thighs, or he’d grind his pulsating cock between those same thighs while whispering and purring against your neck.

He’d kiss your head as he moved slowly inside you, petting your chest and hips while he praised how good you were. His good arañita, his small, perfect arañita, sweet and warm. He’d tell you not to worry, to just relax, that he’d take care of you.

But every so often, something seemed to stir up the absolute animal in him.

He became obsessive, possessive, fixated on that primal itch at the back of his mind to be successful in his mating. He’d pin you down hard and mount you from behind, digging his claws in deep while his cock probed deep, thrusting inside you like he wanted to physically push into your womb itself.

And god, the things he said.

The growling, the hissing, demanding to father your offspring, ordering you to get pregnant, ordering you to take it. You indulged him too much in this state. It created the fiercest pleasure in you, the most potent, soul-shaking orgasms, to let him fuck you like a beast until you were shaking and weak.

He’d always calm down after ejaculating, and every time he showed you the same level of aftercare. He’d cradle you close and keep you warm, licking venom across the places you were sore, shifting between constant praise and kisses. Still, the animal just kept coming back.

When you simply couldn’t handle being penetrated anymore, the only option left was to try oral or mutual masturbation, but that proved a little difficult with how different your bodies were.

At first Mig got desperate, and resorted to webbing your body upside down on the wall so you could pleasure each other with your mouths at the same time. He’d ravenously suck on your clit while you struggled to get your mouth around the tip of his bulbous cock, feeding each other’s delusional lust with soft, muffled moans and lapping tongues.

When he’d cum you swallowed as much as you could of the thick, strangely sweet stuff, but inevitably about half of it ended up coating your jaw and neck, and the sight of that just set him off all over again.

But then you started getting lightheaded. You were forced to resort to lying in bed instead, where you’d suck him off until he came and then let him taste you until you shuddered into your own orgasm, going back and forth in this dizzying tasting session until he inevitably broke and just fucked you again.

It was a mess. A wet, literal mess, a cycle of mating and sleeping with little in between, but between sessions you did get a few moments of lucidity to enjoy his company too. It was gratifying to lie on the clean side of the bed in his arms, talking about nothing while he groomed your hair. Whether he was being unintentionally funny or having a real discussion, he was always interesting to talk to, and when you had nothing to talk about you still felt wanted.

He'd wake you up with food whenever he had a moment of control. He always wanted to hear that you liked it, and when you said it was great, he’d bristle with pride.

Even in this strange, dizzying state, you were continuing to fall hard for Mig. You were becoming docile, domestic almost. His home felt like your home now, and more importantly, he felt like home. The sex was fun, yes, but it was also a reminder of how normal his body was, how much you trusted him with your own body.

You lost track of time in that warm, sweet den, indulging in each other like it was the only thing in the world that mattered. Part of you wanted to just stay like this in perpetuity, but the world wouldn’t slow down for you, and soon other needs would catch up with the both of you.

….

About five days into the second heat, you woke to find yourself alone in bed. You were splayed out on your deflated mattress, utterly drowning in silk blankets and stuffed pillows, but the usual warm fluff you now associated with bedtime was gone.

Mig wasn’t here.

You arched your back and rubbed your face as you came to your senses. Thank God, you weren’t burning up right now.

In that brief respite you had time to think.

You needed to go to the medical bay. You needed more back up. Your patch was due to run out soon and you weren’t even sure it could withstand what you’d done, not to mention the strain on your body was very real and very taxing. Anything to ease the soreness, or perhaps to bring back the proper function of your limbs, would be greatly appreciated.

You just had to get past Mig.

The work you’d made on his possessive nature had been a little set back after the pollen incident. Whether it was his hormones or his lingering anger at Miguel, the poor man couldn’t let you out of his sight.

When you went to get food, or even just to clean yourself, he insisted on being at your side through it all. He was still compelled to scent mark you, and sometimes in his sleep he’d pin you down and growl as he pulled you close.

He was relapsing hard, despite his best efforts. That was partially why it was so strange that he wasn’t here right now. With a yawn and a stretch, you decided to go find him.

You staggered about the den with a silk blanket wrapped around your shoulders.

You noticed, as you moved from room to room, that a cold breeze kept blowing the blanket up around your feet. That could only mean one thing: the front door was open. You followed the great earthy tunnels up to the surface, emerging into a pale pink dawn, and there you found him.

That beautiful beast was stationed at the nests entrance like a gargoyle. In the morning mist and glistening dew he looked like an honest to god sculpture, chiselled and glowing in the pastel light. You bit your lip at the sight as you sidled up to his side.

‘Mig? Babe?’

He turned and purred at the sight of you. The way his face changed made you melt a little inside; it was all involuntary, the way his eyes widened and his lips automatically curled into a smile. ‘Mi arañita, what are you doing up?’ he asked.

‘I could ask the same of you, dummy. I was worried about you.’

He let you slouch down against his abdomen, his spider legs stretching to tuck you in at his side. He clung to you tight.

‘I just wanted to give you some space, and—well, I think the hormones are giving me ah… guarding reflexes’ he said. ‘I have a drive to just, protect the nest. I’m not sure from what, I just- I know I should. I know I have to guard you.’

‘Guarding your little treasure hoard, huh?’ you teased.

‘Mm. Mi tesoro. My priceless little thing’ he said softly. You nuzzled his side.

‘Well, you’re not gonna like this next bit then.’

‘This—next, what? What bit?’

You sighed. ‘Mig, I think I should I go to the medical bay. At the HQ. Just quickly! I need to get more birth control patches, and I think it might be worth seeing if they recommend anything else I can… Ah, it sound so, crass, but, I can only put off wanting you inside me for so long, and I could use something to ease the uh… aching.’

‘Oh. Oh, I see. Is it, still bad?’

You couldn’t help but smile. ‘My darling Mig, how do I say this… You are, REALLY, really well endowed, and you are inside me almost half the day. Yes, it’s quite bad.’

You saw his brows go up in distress. ‘Mi arañita… I’m, so sorry—’

‘Don’t be sorry, Mig. It’s not your fault that I want you’ you said, trying to play it off with another laugh to ease his worry. ‘We’re about 50/50 on the whole, begging the other for sex, so I take full responsibility for my own soreness.’

‘Well, are you sure you need to go to the medical bay? I can still use my venom if you’re in pain. You said it helped.’

‘Yeah. Yeah I mean, it does, a bit, but- I also know too much of it will paralyze me’ you retorted. ‘I saw that with Miguel.’

‘I can control it’ he insisted back. ‘I can control whether I release it or not, I’d never paralyze you on purpose.’

‘Of course not, I’m not saying that. I just—I trust you, Mig, and I wouldn’t blame you for slipping up, but good will and the best intentions don’t stop mistakes, and it’s mistakes I’m worried about. Plus, the venom won’t keep babies at bay, will it?’

You rolled your eyes at his instinctive little butt wiggle, the way his abdomen vibrated to betray how excited just a mention of such a thing made him. His primal brain was still so hooked on that thought, that deep rooted fetish, that desire to breed you. He coughed to cover what was already painfully obvious.

‘It—it, will not. I feel like, I am sadly the opposite of birth control.’

For a moment you were still. Then you snorted, and you giggled, and that giggle spiralled into laughter. He just smiled back with that same patient expression.

‘Oh my god, Mig. Ah. Oh—okay look, what I was saying is, I just need to visit the bay for a bit, then I will come straight back, and you can have me all to yourself.’

As you posited your idea to him, he took a moment to mull it over. He pressed his tongue to the inside of his mouth as his eyes wandered over the misty horizon.

 ‘Mm. Very well. But I will go with you’ Mig grunted.

‘What? Oh, you don’t need to do that, Mig, I—’

‘I’m going with you.’

You squeaked as his leg suddenly drew you closer. Glancing through his thick fur, you noticed that his eyes had narrowed. ‘Uh… Mig? You okay?’ you asked. His eyes narrowed further.

‘I don’t know who else in that place might—smell you’ he said. His voice was now low, monotone, dangerous.

‘You—you let me go before’ you said. His leg wound tighter, gripping you like a snake coiled around its prey.

‘Yes, because I physically couldn’t follow you in. And you got grabbed by… him’ he hissed. ‘I won’t let that happen again.’

‘Mig…’ You sighed and gently pet his flank, noting the disgruntled way that his legs were tapping.

‘I… I will not, get in the way, but I am asking, just—to please, let me accompany you’ he pleaded.

God, it was hard to say no to that face. Those big red eyes, those full lips pouting slightly as he silently begged for your favour. It didn’t help you were so unbearably horny for him. Part of you wanted to give him whatever he wanted, if it just meant he’d bend you over again, and give you a little taste of that perfect monster shaft.

Your thoughts must have shown in your face as his sadness shifted slightly into curiosity. You saw his eyes darting over your body’s contours beneath the silk blanket and quickly shoved him with your hand.

‘My god—okay! You can, accompany me. You are a member now I guess, it’s only fair. I only made you stay last time because you said you couldn’t enter the HQ, so… sure. Come.’

His body began to vibrate against your back as he purred with joy.

‘Wonderful. Mil gracias, arañita. I promise I will keep you safe.’

…

In sharp contrast to the comfort of your little isolated den, it was unbearably awkward to make your way through the HQ with Mig.

It’d been awkward the first time you’d gone to the medical bay, when nobody had known your reason for coming nor your relationship to the giant spider, but now? Now the eyes on you were ravenous and aware.

Mig’s body language was so overt even a fool could pick it up. He was hovering around your back with his fur bristled and sharp, his eyes fixated on anyone who drifted too close.

And you, with your body dotted with hickies and bite marks, with your legs still shaky and your hip bones bruised, it was painfully obvious. Luckily for you most people chose to keep their snide smiles to themselves. They found it weird, yes, but they found him too scary to question at this point.

You walked together to the medical bay without any major incidents, though one thought began to nag you as you delved deeper. Last time you’d been here you’d felt Miguel watching you, and now, nothing.

You’d heard nothing about Miguel’s whereabouts since the calls from Peter and Jess five days ago, so you were unsure if he’d returned or not. Your senses told you he hadn’t.

You felt a little pang in your gut as you walked into the medical bay. You had a lot of distaste for the man, but you still hoped he was okay. You didn’t want him to have done anything stupid.

As you got into line you felt Mig bristling, and in your heart, you knew he felt the same.

‘Where do you think he is?’ you whispered up to Mig. He let out a low growl at the reminder of his foe and his unusual disappearance, which also let you know that you were right, and he had been thinking of him too.

‘I don’t know’ he whispered back. ‘And frankly, I don’t care.’

‘I mean, you do. You do care where he is’ you said. ‘You’re worried he might be around, you’re worried he’ll approach me again, I know that for sure.’

‘I care about his proximity to me, and his proximity to you’ Mig grumbled. ‘Outside of that, at this point, he can choke.’

You pursed your lips. ‘Do—Do you really want him, dead?’ you whispered.

Mig narrowed his eyes further. It took him a moment to reply. ‘I… I don’t know.’

‘Mig, I get it. Obviously I don’t like him, but—I just don’t want him to be hurt. Like, hurt hurt. He’s a massive prick but—I mean he’s a person’ you said. It was clear from your tone even you weren’t sure of what you were saying. ‘I’d like to know he’s around, just, away from me. You know?’

You saw the momentary conflict in Mig’s eyes as he rolled his tongue. ‘Mm… I know. I know. I just—I don’t, want to talk about it, please’ Mig insisted. You nodded and gave his flank an affectionate pat.

You sidled up to the desk and put in your usual request to a slightly disgruntled looking receptionist. They requested Mig stay outside but he abjectly, if politely, refused, and not wanting to question the giant spider he was allowed to accompany you through the motions.

It was so much worse.

It was so, so much worse, to stand on the scanner and have Lyla look at the amount of semen inside you while its donor was glowering at you from across the room like a jealous dragon. It was so much worse to be asked, ‘how active are you?’ when Mig was there, a perfect example of who you’d been active with, as you said ‘up to ten times a day’.

It was so much worse that, when asked further questions about anatomical issues, Mig was there to answer in his usual blunt fashion. His casual description of his phallus size, detailing nonchalantly that, yes, he did slather your nether regions with venom to make it less painful. You could see Lyla eating up every word he said.

It at least invoked a kind of sympathy in the horrified nurse, as she willingly signed over whatever you wanted. Pain medication both topical and oral, stronger birth control, and anti-venom shots in case he injected too much.

As you made your way out you could only cope by laughing about it with him.

‘You are—a nightmare, Miguel O’Hara, I swear to god.’ As you spoke you let out a dramatic sigh that turned into stuttered laughter, all while Mig watched with endeared bur confused eyes.

‘Did—Did I do something wrong again?’ he whispered. You could feel him leaning in at your back, begging for affirmation, and despite being exasperated to the point of exhaustion you gave it. You held his little foreleg as you walked into the waiting room.

‘You are so… honest’ you laughed. ‘Just, SO honest.’

‘Is that not a positive trait?’ he asked.

‘Oh, it is. It is. I love that about you, but I also hate it.’ As you spoke you turned to cup his hips in your hands, holding him tenderly. ‘But, I’m willing to put up with it, which I suppose is a good sign, right?’

Mig blinked at you, his eyes wide. ‘Good, because… It means, I am worth the effort?’

‘Very much so’ you whispered. His abdomen rustled furiously even as his face remained calm. ‘Mm… Mm. Good. I am- glad. You are, worth, a lot to me’ he replied in that sweet, shy, stilted manner. You just chuckled.

‘You have such a way with words. Anything else you wanna say?’ you asked, your head tilted. Mig froze.

He knew what you meant. You’d both been teetering on the edge of saying it for a while: the big ‘L’, the biggest thing he could ever say. The moment where he admitted he loved you. He’d blurted it in front of his counterpart before, but to say it to your face? That was terrifying.

He hadn’t said he loved someone since Dana, and this was so much more. He wanted to keep you, to hold you, to see you every morning, but something in him just couldn’t say it. He was still terrified of something going wrong, of repeating his mistakes, and saying that word felt like moving too close to the sun.

And you, you weren’t much better. You were terrified of saying it and of him not returning the sentiment. It felt selfish, in a way, but you just kept waiting for him to say it first.

‘I… You, are mi tesoro’ Mig said softly. His hand cupped your cheek. ‘You are dear, to me. And I hope that I can keep waking up beside you.’

Your heart tripled over beneath his gaze. It wasn’t quite what you wanted, but it was enough for now. ‘I hope so too’ you whispered, and with one last squeeze you let him go.

You stepped into the reception room to find it almost entirely deserted, spare for one or two people milling about in chairs. You were grateful for the privacy as the reception called you over and handed to you those thick bags filled with pain relief and birth control.

‘We’re just waiting for one more thing, is that okay?’ the reception asked. You nodded.

‘Ah, sure, we can um—we can wait’ you said, but as you hurried back to Mig’s side you didn’t look as sure as you’d sounded.

‘Shiiittt. I don’t know how long we have before it—you know’ you whispered up at him.

‘The violent passion of the heat overtakes us both and we begin copulating on the floor of this public establishment?’ Mig replied. You grit your teeth.

‘Yes. Yes, that exactly’ you hissed back.

‘Ah… too blunt, right?’

‘Yes. Very blunt.’

‘But just between us, that is okay, right?’

‘We’re in a hospital waiting room!’

It was halfway through your whispered shouting match that you heard the reception call.

‘Anti-venom?’

Ah. That was the last bit you needed, you thought. What a weirdly quick turnaround, especially when she’d just asked you to wait. You turned and blindly reached to grab the bag from the receptionist, only to lock hands with someone else. You baulked and spun.

There was a man beside you, roughly your age and height, and he was reaching for the same bag of anti-venom.

‘You—can I help you?’ you stammered. The man frowned.

‘I—’

‘Oh, sorry, you both have—sorry that’s my mistake’ the receptionist said, interrupting you both as she yanked the bag back. ‘I have prescriptions for you both.’

You remained locked onto the other man as the receptionist rushed back to speak to the counter. He looked horrified, but of what? Your eyes narrowed. Why would anyone else here need anti-venom?

‘Sorry about that. You both ordered the same, thing, ah—Okay, here.’

The reception put both bags down and pushed them towards the two of you, but you didn’t even notice. You were unblinkingly focused on the other man’s face. His mouth opened and closed a few times.

‘Ah… Thank you. Sorry. I will… go, now’ he blurted, and before you could speak he’d grabbed the bag and hurried for the door. You grabbed your own and followed in hot pursuit.

‘Arañita?’

Mig crawled after you in haste. His sudden emergence into the main lobby caused a few startled screams, but you refused to turn. You were following that man with absolute dedication.

‘Arañita—what is it? What’s wrong?’ he hissed as he caught up with your stride.

‘HIM’ you hissed back, your eyes fixed on the man speed walking away. ‘I need to talk to him!’

Mig blinked. Without even questioning your motive he bowed to your needs, and with the power of his giant spider legs he gave you a little push across the slippery floor so you could close the gap between you and the stranger.

You skidded up and grasped him by the shoulder. ‘Hey! Hey, you—’

‘SHIT!’

The man jumped when you touched him, causing you to quickly retract your hand. ‘Sorry! Sorry, I just—’

‘Oh, I thought—I was having a heart attack, my, god’ the man panted. You watched him clutch his chest and heave, awkwardly and impatiently waiting to speak. ‘How did I not hear you? My senses are… awful, man—’

‘Look, I—’

‘You, you’re the one dating Miguel’s variant, right? The big spider?’

You were surprised when the man addressed you first. His eyes were on his suit as he brushed it down, but every so often he’d cast you a glance. He thankfully didn’t look angry.

‘I am’ you blurted, ‘yes, I’m—with, Mig. Spider Mig. Spider, Miguel. I’m sorry, again.’

He nodded. ‘Right. Yeah. Hence the uh- the, anti-venom. Right?’

‘Yeessss’ you said, clearly if wordlessly putting emphasis on the fact that he, also, had anti-venom in his hand. He noted where your eyes were drifting and accidentally looked down himself, glancing to the bag in his hand, which he immediately then tried to hide behind his back.

‘So, you uh… Other, Miguel, I’m assuming?’ you asked slowly.

The poor man was almost squirming on the spot.

‘You’re not a, spider, right? Like a regular one?’ you inquired when he failed to reply, noting his unusual suit and lack of mask. He sighed dramatically and leaned in close.

‘I—shit, I—look, I’m a physiotherapist, I work for the HQ’ the man hissed. ‘I’m—friends, with Miguel.’

‘Friends?’

‘Yes! Don’t look at me like that. I mean that, genuinely. We are friends. He—has a lot of, physical issues due to his biology, the mutations, and he pushes himself physically so much harder than anyone else, so he needs a lot of help.’

‘Right’ you said, slowly nodding along. After a moments silence spent staring at each other, teetering on the edge of the truth, the man sighed again.

‘I— Fuck, okay. We are, friends, and—Very, rarely, we engage in—we, do—’

‘He gets you to have sex with him, right? Because of the rut?’ you asserted.

The man recoiled in surprise and horror. ‘We—No! He doesn’t get me to—I mean we fucked like, one time, a really long time ago, but that—I really didn’t want to be interrogated today, you know.’

‘Oh, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t—I wasn’t trying to interrogate, I was, curious? I guess? Or—’ You paused to breath as all your worries spilled from your mouth.

‘No, okay, for context, Miguel’s been gone for a few days and I said I’d keep an eye out but, more than that there’s a lot of complicated stuff going on, I think we were the last people to see him before he vanished, so—I’m not asking to shame you or, out of the blue, he—there’s a lot of stuff with him implying to Mig and to me that he wasn’t allowed to have relationships like this but then doing it anyway in secret so I’m just—’

‘Oh, ohhh okay.’

To your surprise the man interrupted your spiel was a soft ‘oh’ face of recognition. ‘I gotcha. Of course, you know him too, you’re dating his variant. But surely then, come on, you know about all his weird hypocrisies by now, right?’

‘His, what?’ you asked. The man snorted with laughter.

‘What you just said, about his weird hang ups. God the man spends twice as much time moping about his slip ups as he does actually making them. That dumbass. Trust me, if I wanted any more out of him than being friends, I’d have fucking strangled the man. He’s a mess. But, I don’t, which I think is why he comes to me. He gets in those, ‘moods’, and—I usually just, yanno, help him out. Hands or mouth. And, he does the same.’

‘Oh… Oh, huh.’

The man gave another shrug as you mulled over this new information. ‘So… you’re not, put off? By how… Much he is?’ you said subtly. Again, the man chuckled.

‘What do you mean? I mean he’s stubborn, and a bit dramatic, sure, but that’s fine, that’s fun. He’s still so nice.’

Your look of shock seemed to surprise the man. His smile faded in the face of your overt confusion. ‘He—are you, okay?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, just… Did you say he’s, nice?’

‘Yeah! Of course. I mean he’d hate me saying that out loud, he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s nice, but I know. He overworks himself to death trying to keep this place running. He’s always on edge because he’s always worried, so he plays off like he’s all… you know, cold and scary, but he’s soft inside. I’m, assuming you don’t know him that well, then?’

You remained utterly confused by this weird interpretation of the Miguel you’d met. ‘He—I mean, yeah, I thought I knew him pretty well, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do anything, nice’ you retorted.

Your overt distaste must have shown in your words, because the man suddenly looked disheartened. He coughed before speaking again.

‘He uh— I mean for me, and this is just me, but—when I couldn’t get surgery in my own universe, he secretly filed to let me have it here instead, and when the medical bay took too long, he personally went there and chewed them out for it. He never told me about it, Peter did, but post-surgery he’d always ask how I was doing. I’d show him and he’d just… give me a thumbs up and say, looks good, and that’d be it. Nobodies ever gone out of there way like that for me, ever, and he did it without complaint.’

Your eyes widened. Now this, this was interesting. You couldn’t imagine the Miguel you’d had to deal with being that considerate, that selfless, and yet, this guy had no reason to lie. Surely there had to be more to it, right?

‘Was… this, when you were, messing around?’ you asked slowly.

‘Oh, no. This was before that’ the man said nonchalantly. ‘Like I said, we were just friends. We still are. I appreciate that he’s never asked for more, honestly.’

Oh dear, you thought, you’d run out of justifications. Why had he been so aggressive with you then? Why was he so angry, so vindictive?

‘I mean, he’s—he’s also REALLY hot’ the man added with a slight laugh. ‘Like, REALLY hot. No offense but I used to have clients talk about how weird it was, you and the spider hybrid, I had to bite my tongue from saying bitch what are you TALKING about? I’d overlook much worse shit to just LOOK at that man.’

As the man chuckled you found yourself awkwardly laughing with him. You didn’t exactly have the best of terms with Miguel, but, clearly this guy had a very different experience. More importantly, you now had a solid lead on where Miguel had potentially gone.

‘So, you saw him recently?’ you queried.

‘Yeah. Well—Look, I know you get it, so, all I’ll say is I saw him about… four, days ago? That’s all I’ll say. I got this just in case, cos it’d been so long since the last time I forgot to stock up.’

You perked up a little as he spoke. Four days ago. That was after Peter mentioned he was gone, a full day after he gave in the paperwork for you and Mig.

‘Is… Is he, okay?’ you asked quietly. To your relief he nodded.

‘Yeah. Yeah he seemed fine, he seemed a bit more grumpy but that’s typical for him. He just, took sabbatical, he said. He wanted to figure some stuff out. He came over to relax then bounced. It’s not uncommon.’

To your surprise, you let out a soft sigh of relief. Had you been holding that in? You opened your mouth to thank the man and to ask his name, but something else hit you before you could.

Your whole body throbbed. You had to rub your thighs together to stop yourself from trembling, as the most vicious, potent heat slid through your veins. Your horror must have shown as the man tried to help you stand.

‘Hey, are you—’

‘BACK!’

You squeaked as something firm and furry grabbed your waist. You were pulled taut to Mig’s side as he appeared at your back, his eyes wide and his fangs bared. He was hissing aggresively as he held you close. You could feel it beneath his fur; that violent, overpowering rut, brewing and overflowing inside him. 

To your surprise, the man took no offense. He seemed to see those glowing eyes and recognise something in them. ‘Oh. Oh! Okay. No worries, I got it. You don’t gotta worry about me. You two uh—you two have fun.’

The man waved once before speed walking in the other direction, leaving you and Miguel to panic in silence.

You could both feel the heat brewing to the point it hurt. There were eyes everywhere, eyes all around you, glowering and gleaming. You knew you didn’t have much time before you both lost all social inhibition to your need.

Your eyes met, once, only to find that just locking gaze was too erotic in this state. You both turned and glanced in unison at the same thing; the nearby elevator, the one just large enough to fit Mig inside.

You swallowed hard. You were burning up, physically sweating beneath your suit. You weren’t thinking straight at all. In the moment, all you could do was act. You both barrelled into the elevator together.

Time to make another mistake.

Link to next part!

[rpgchoices]

The winner of the tournament of favorite female rpg romances is...

Karlach!

Truly the darling of Baldur's Gate 3! The tiefling who inspired a THOUSAND OF PEOPLE CRYING FOR A DIFFERENT ENDING (funny story, one time someone tried to get me in a dodgy plan to blackmail Larian so Karlach could have a happy ending... the dedication...)

I do not have a playthrough with the romance recorded, so let me share my favorite scene from act 3 (I am not crying!).

Karlach is a companion and romance option (for any gender and any playable character) in Baldur's Gate 3. She is also a playable character (I did play as her! and in my opinion she has the most original content among playable characters).

She won with 622 votes against Lae'zel, another character from Baldur's Gate 3. Congrats to Lae'zel for coming in second!

This gives Karlach the title of tumblr rpg best blorbo and babygirl!

More on her character and win under cut:

Karlach jumped into the tournament with 192 votes in round zero (the most voted of her poll) which allowed her to jump in round 1, where she beat up other BG3's character Shadowheart with 631 votes (almost three times the votes of poor Shadowheart). In the second round, Karlach won against another BG3 character (poor Minthara) with 551 votes (double Minthara's).

Finally in round three she won against queen of rpg romances Morrigan from Dragon Age Origins, with about 238 votes. And she kicked out Josephine from DA:I with 327 votes before beating Lae'zel in the finals!

I have to note that in every single round Karlach always won by DOUBLE the votes or more than double! No character really ever got close to her (HOW IRONIC!)

Karlach's romance revolves around her experiencing life and freedom for the first time in a decade of servitude and war in the hells. Even with all she suffered, Karlach is an incredibly optimistic and kind character. She cannot touch others because of her infernal engine and she craves for connection and friendship.

Not just romantic, one of my favorite scenes is that at the end she will say to the player "I adore you" and express her love for them indipendently from the romance status.

Also because of her untouchability, her romance is one of the most unique in the game. And if you play as her, you will experience unique romances with the other characters (I played as her and romanced Astarion! definitely interesting!).

AND NOW SHE HAS A HAPPY ENDING! so you can celebrate and live happily!! (unless you play spawn astarion, don't do that... sorry...)

[maverick-werewolf]

Werewolf Article - (Play As A) Werewolf Video Games

The results of the poll for this month on my Patreon are in, and the winner is an opinionated article on werewolf video games! Apologies in advance if any of my opinions here anger you. I was asked for opinionated, so I went opinionated and did not hold back.

For clarity's sake: this will be a relatively concise list of SOME video games in which you can or do play as a werewolf. It will NOT include every single game in which you can or do play as a werewolf, nor will it include certain kinds of playable werewolves that exist in gaming, for the sake of brevity. You'll notice some missing and then want to be first to tell me I left out [thing], but I assure you I am aware of those too. I am also not going to list games in which you can play as a werewolf but it requires either user-made mods or else playing in a custom campaign/tileset/server (like Neverwinter Nights <3), only games wherein you can play as a werewolf as part of base game or expansion pack mechanics.

This IS a tiered list. It is tiered based on the werewolf gameplay mechanics and elements in the game.

Let's get started. I will begin at #9, go to #1, and then I will close with some words on some other games that didn't make the numbered list.

9. World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

Note: your player character will never have torn-up clothing or use his claws like in this artwork/like the enemy worgen do

I'm just going to list Cataclysm here because, frankly, I don't even want to discuss WoW at Shadowlands and beyond... even if discussing the model update will reach into that era of content. Obviously, I don't play WoW anymore and haven't in quite a while, but yeah, I used to really enjoy it. Played it for many, many years. Probably too many.

Cataclysm was a pretty outright bad expansion, but it did add playable worgen (something I obviously wanted from day 1 after seeing the worgen mobs running around), and they can even turn into human form, which is a must for me in terms of actually being a werewolf instead of just a wolf-person, which I wouldn't even roll. That was a nice touch I didn't actually expect from the devs.

Unfortunately, the model update turned them into something far "cuter" and more cuddly than I liked, not to mention adding preposterous fur options like stripes and merle, but the human form customization was nice. Still, the model update drove me toward playing different races, like maining my kul'tiran and night elf instead of the worgen I was always ultimately pretty disappointed in, given his wearing fine armor and wielding giant weapons. Anyway, the entire game took a huge nosedive not long after the model change, so it's a moot point for me regardless.

As for the deeper worgen lore beyond "they are werewolves with a funny name": I hate it with all my heart. I did my best to ignore every scrap of that and how they are just self-parodies, to delete the Gilneas/worgen starting zone quests from my entire brain, and especially to ignore the fact that they were all preposterously British despite England being one of the last places historically to even have many werewolf legends of its own. I have an article about that here if you are interested in the topic. The game made all of these things very difficult, especially how hard they wanted to drive home that the worgen are silly posh British parody dog-people strutting around in waistcoats and tophats instead of being fearsome cursed werewolves. So I won't bother going into all that.

The mechanics are fun except for the fact that you have to wear armor and use weapons, so ultimately you just look like a beast-person instead of a werewolf, especially after the model change making them far more appealing to a certain demographic. If Blizzard had wanted to put in effort, they would have made your gear look tattered and would have made you swap to claws when you turn, but that would've been a lot of work. They could have at least added a specialized class or something and then also given it to some Horde races to make the precious Horde players happy. I don't know. I just think werewolves wearing fine clothes and armor and wielding weapons is immensely silly. They're supposed to be werewolves.

So while they are extremely far from perfect, the worgen are at least relatively fun in that, if nothing else, you can go between werewolf and human forms and run on all fours as fast as the fastest ground mount, and I am deeply surprised they did either. I immensely enjoyed both of those things during my time playing a worgen, and they helped mitigate the great disappointment otherwise in many other regards - though not enough to keep me from maining other races, especially later on. But, in the end, WoW sucks now and it's unrecoverable, and WoW Classic is a joke, so I'll never be playing a worgen again anyway.

8. Diablo II

I'm sure you were looking for this one - the werewolf druid in Diablo II (preemptive sidebar: I am not going to talk about Diablo IV). I love his design and gameplay mechanics. He's fantastic. However, he is of course yet another instance of "the werewolf must be a druid," which I personally find a little tiresome after so much of it. But hey, this was one of the earlier games to do that, so it predated a lot of the craze.

At any rate, the Druid class in Diablo II obviously gets a werewolf form. It also gets a requisite werebear because werewolves can almost never just be werewolves, but at least the werewolf does not completely suck. You can also summon wolves, which is a bonus.

While I'm not really that big on Diablo-type gameplay - I prefer either third-person or else a proper isometric, party-based RPG - so Diablo II didn't really hold my interest a lot, the werewolf druid is very fun and a very cool werewolf, the setting is great, and the werewolf suits the dark Gothic feeling and look of the game that is enjoyable and well conveyed in the first place. The werewolf druid is a great addition that I am glad they added.

7. Baldur's Gate II

Let me make something perfectly clear: Baldur's Gate II is, in my opinion, the best game ever made (only Uncharted 2: Among Thieves also makes this rank for me). Combined with BG1 to create the Baldur's Gate Saga, it is one of the best stories ever told and also my favorite game mechanics-wise, again alongside Uncharted 2 even if yes, I know that those games could almost not be farther apart in terms of mechanics. I absolutely love BG2 beyond words. Please note I am talking about the original Baldur's Gate II, as released in 2000, not the "Enhanced Edition," which is a disgrace to the game, the entire series, and a piece of garbage. It's shamefully difficult to find the original game anymore, but it's worth it over playing the EE; trust me. I'll try to spare you any further ranting on this topic, as the original Baldur's Gate Saga is something very close to my heart.

Anyway, the werewolf in BG2 is - once again - a druid, specifically a druid subclass called Shapeshifter. It doesn't really have any werewolf gameplay mechanics in that you are not treated differently for it, nor do you transform out of your own control. In fact you will be spending the majority of your time in werewolf form, which can get quite tiresome. I'm not the biggest fan of a werewolf holding normal conversations with NPCs, etc. But regardless, it's there, and I love it, and it looks awesome, and that's more than I can say for so many games. Plus, you get cool bonuses and stuff. The power of it varies over time and with the progression of your character. I will not go too deeply into it, as I am actually an insane D&D video game nerd and even today I can spend far too much time building characters and tweaking numbers and doing ridiculous tricks in D&D games to powergame. If you want just one of my credentials I beat BG2 on the hardest difficulty with Ascension and no other gameplay mods. Long story short, the Greater Werewolf is quite powerful, and it shouldn't be a detriment to your party to either be one or bring along Cernd, one of my favorite companions.

So don't listen to the people down on the Shapeshifter in BG2. You can get mods that make them overpowered, anyway. Also don't listen to my complaints about it not feeling werewolfish enough because that's nearly impossible to come by anyway if you're not playing the #1 game on this list. Go try one out. It's fun! Plus, BG2 is the best game ever made.

6. Altered Beast

What are some of Mav's favorite things? Ancient Greece, hoplites, hot men, werewolves, dragons, tigers...

When I found out Altered Beast exists and is a game wherein you play as an awesome hoplite dude and turn into a werewolf, a green dragon, a tiger-man, and ultimately a werewolf is still the most powerful of all his forms, I was ecstatic. I had to play it immediately.

I wasn't disappointed. It's a fun, unforgiving game, because it was made before video games started becoming what I think we're supposed to call accessible today. I don't know what else there is to say about the game if what I've already said hasn't convinced you to play it. The werewolf form is your first transformation, and your most powerful is a golden werewolf. Me being me, I appreciate that a werewolf form is still the best in the end instead of being outshone by other creatures, and even the other forms available are all very cool.

As I said, I really don't know what more one could ask for of this setting and gameplay. I've never been picky about genre; I play a very wide variety of video games and have plenty of fun, and I certainly had fun with this one.

(Note: I'm not going to talk about that 2005 Altered Beast remake, I like to pretend it never happened)

5. Werewolf the Apocalypse: Earthblood

I'll be the first to admit I'm far from the biggest World of Darkness fan ever, as has brought many insults my way already, but I was pleasantly surprised by the mechanics of the werewolf form in Earthblood. I will not call it the "crinos form," as that terminology is so immensely silly that I could no longer take it seriously if I did. So anyway, the gameplay actually lets you feel like a werewolf, and you even get two stances you can swap between for different combat styles instead of anchoring werewolves down to just doing one thing. I'm not going to wax on about the lore, the story, etc. - but man the werewolf mechanics really are fun. It is, of course, the main draw of the whole deal, and they didn't slouch on that element.

It's important to me that a werewolf feel powerful and also violent. Werewolves should not be cuddly, or else they are no longer werewolves. Painting hallways with the blood of my enemies as if I'm recreating the Ninja lead-up in Metal Gear Solid while in werewolf form is cathartic and a good way to give the player a sense of being a werewolf instead of just an animal-headed person. This is a very solid "play as a werewolf" game, and one of the few games that exist with the primary purpose of letting you really play as a werewolf, whether you are a predetermined character or not. Be warned, the game is notoriously janky, but if you're like me, you're enjoying the werewolf mechanics enough that you don't care - or you can be even more like me and not give a toss about "jankiness" in a game in the first place.

4. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

While a significant and crushing downgrade from the werewolves in certain other Elder Scrolls entries - more on that momentarily - at least Skyrim let you become a werewolf in the base game. No waiting for an expansion pack and no waiting forever until you move on (thanks, Oblivion). However, the differences between the mechanics of werewolves in past entries and the Skyrim werewolves are many and tragic. I confess I did not play Skyrim much, partially as a result of these exact elements, and partially because I just don't spend much time playing video games anymore, among other things.

In Skyrim, being a werewolf becomes what is colloquially called an "awesome button," letting you turn into a big, strong, cool werewolf that can eat people to extend your werewolf timer. It's great and enjoyable, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't actually feel as if you are truly cursed with lycanthropy or smelly lupus or whatever silly name Elder Scrolls gave it (yes, I know the name, but that doesn't make it less silly). You have no real disadvantages to being a werewolf, such as having to worry about when you will transform outside your own control - because you never will, which is an immense downgrade in terms of feeling werewolfish and adding appropriate challenge and downside to being a werewolf. You also don't have to worry about being forced to devour a civilized race in order to sate your accursed hunger. Instead, you're doing that on purpose to turn out of werewolf form again, because the more you eat, the longer you stay transformed. Still, the werewolves in Skyrim are good - they just don't compare to previous entries. But I certainly appreciate them and the fact that they are present in the base game.

3. The Sims 3

Trust me, they do look better in game, but I couldn't find any of my own screenshots because it's been a hot minute since I played this.

You probably think I'm trolling you, but the werewolves in The Sims have always been pretty fun; I remember when the ones in 2 first came out, I enjoyed them like crazy. The ones in 3 rocked and were easily the best variant; too bad the game is relatively difficult to get running properly, and many aspects of the werewolves are delicate and easy to glitch, including your entire Sim's werewolf form design. I am not going to talk about those abominations that were added to The Sims 4, because they are some of the worst things I have ever had the misfortune of seeing and are not werewolves by any metric.

Sims 3 changed the aspects of Sims 2 werewolves that I didn't like, such as how being a werewolf altered your sim's entire personality over time and how the werewolf form always looked the same. They made the system much more robust. Frankly, the Sims 3 werewolves are some of the better werewolves in gaming, especially for the kind of game that The Sims is (expect assorted dog jokes, for example, given it's The Sims, yet it still isn't half as bad as it could be). I also love the wolf-man design; it works much better with Sims than something bigger and more wolfish. Certainly far better than whatever the hell is in Sims 4, which again, I will try my best not to talk about.

Anyway, I absolutely recommend Sims 3 if you enjoy Sims games and werewolves and want to have some werewolf fun. I'd probably still be occasionally blowing my finite amount of time on this earth playing it if I had it properly running on my current PC.

2. The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall

Bet you didn't expect to see this one, did you? You thought I was gonna say Skyrim as #2, right? Actually, I bet you thought I was going to say that one as #1.

The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall is a game many would consider unapproachable today. I enjoyed it. Obviously, I played it for the playable werewolf, and I had fun! They work similarly to the ones in Bloodmoon, but, in my opinion, they still aren't as fantastic as the Bloodmoon ones. But the game does force you to actually live and behave as a werewolf - I love the werewolf hunter[s] mechanic - which, again... it's almost the only one of its kind other than Bloodmoon. For that, it gets #2 on this list.

And that means you know what makes #1, untouched in its glory, undimmed by time...

1. The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind - Bloodmoon

Alright. Have I ever talked about how this is the single greatest werewolf game ever made? I think I have, but let's get into it again.

I like Morrowind in the first place. I think it's hands down the best of the Elder Scrolls series and, frankly, the only one really worth dedicating much time to (forgive me). I played it when it first came out, and while I have never been the kind of person to pour hours into any ES or even any other open world game, Morrowind held my attention even as a kid - before I knew about "open world" and before it was such a buzzword - whereas other games before and after it struggled to do so or else failed entirely. Morrowind was groundbreaking for its time in many ways. And then they announced the expansion pack called Bloodmoon that would let you play as a werewolf. I was so excited I could hardly stand it, and even with my extreme werewolf pickiness, I was not disappointed. At all.

This is a game wherein the werewolves are treated as a serious threat, they are insanely rare to encounter in the wild in any capacity (I actually became a werewolf through a random encounter because I ran around on Solstheim obsessively every night rather than just becoming one through the story - it took me many nights, IRL, to encounter one), and when you do run into them, they are likely to destroy you. You are insanely, over the top powerful when you turn into a werewolf, yourself. Some would even call it stupid. I would not. You run at the speed of light and your jump turns into borderline flight. It's basically gliding. You're also preposterously powerful in general. I love it.

Most importantly of all, however, is that you are actually forced to roleplay as a werewolf. You will turn each night, and you must consume 1 victim NPC of any of the playable races. Solstheim is full of assorted enemies that will work for this, but when you go back to Vvardenfell, it can be harder to find a nightly meal while avoiding devouring any quest NPCs. Plus, you have to manage your gear before and after transformations, and you have to be sure you are never witnessed transforming. The entire system is in-depth and very awesome, making you actually feel like a cursed being that has to worry when the sun starts to set, forcing you to run far from civilization.

I cannot put into words how much I adore this game's werewolf system. Nothing compares. This is a real werewolf system, instead of "play as a wolf-person" or "hit the awesome button to become a werewolf for a little while with 0 consequences" like basically every other werewolf game out there.

So long story short, if you claim to love werewolves and want to play as one in a video game, and you haven't played Bloodmoon, then you're lying to yourself and the whole world. Shame on you.

And now for things that didn't make the list...

10. Assorted Acknowledgements

This category is for ones I don't even really have a lot to say about, but I figured I would mention them.

Terraria - You can get an item that lets you turn into a werewolf when night falls. It's pretty fun! I like the mechanics of it, plus it has a neat werewolf design, to boot. I dock serious points in this game for straight-up replacing the zombies with hordes of werewolves in hard mode, though. "Werewolf infestations" and werewolves being zombie stand-ins these days is preposterous and overdone. But I had a lot of fun running around as a werewolf and exploring, so it's absolutely top of the non-tiered list especially as far as werewolf mechanics go.

Pillars of Eternity - The "werewolf" in this game is one of several animal-person forms the druid can get, continuing the common theme in gaming of druid werewolves. The wolf is decidedly the worst of the lot, less useful even than the prey animals available. Put bluntly: they are basically terrible, and you're an idiot to ever use this form when there are so many build options available. There are also lots of other RPG options available. As in other games out there in the world. You should play those instead.

Guild Wars 2 - You cannot actually play as a werewolf in Guild Wars 2, but I figured I would mention it because lots of people do. If you want to roll one of the Norn giant race, either as a pretty giant woman who is the mommy stepping on you from some men's dreams or as the ugly tiny-headed cartoon men, you can get an ability to turn into a werewolf for like 30 seconds; it's far from exciting. And like so many werewolf abilities today, it comes with the option to also turn into other humanoid animals with different abilities. I've heard that, of them, only the cat and bear are useful, which is not a shocker as video game logic goes (game devs think wolves straight up suck at everything lol). I didn't play a Norn during my stint with Guild Wars 2 - I played a male human. He's Nolan North, so he's obviously the only choice and also why I played the game as much as I did.

The Elder Scrolls Online - This disgraceful abomination of a "game" is terrible in every way and could not have been a bigger disappointment on the promise of an "Elder Scrolls but MMORPG" concept even from the very beginning. It was never good, it only ever got worse, and I am happy to say I abandoned it long ago (I am not happy to say I was playing it in early closed beta because of the promise of werewolves - and I played it far more than I should have, so I am not coming at this from ignorance). It is a game with designs so ugly and unremarkable that you want to quit and walk through the woods just to remind yourself beauty still exists in the world. ESO clearly had no idea what direction to take itself in from the moment it dropped, and it certainly was never created with the pretense of playing like an Elder Scrolls game but being massively multiplayer. It has no sense of mood or atmosphere whatsoever and possesses writing that will make you long for the riveting tales in other low-rent, low-thought MMORPGs. You can play as a hideous weird sad werewolf model that is absurdly small (most likely smaller than the race you are playing as, which means you actually shrink when you transform) and should have been left in beta, which functions like a worse awesome button werewolf than the ones in Skyrim, because you also suck gameplay-wise especially depending on the dev's mood with the meta. It is terrible, as is everything about the game. ESO also went out of its way to completely wreck all previous Elder Scrolls werewolf lore that was actually really good. Anyway, don't play this. Your time is worth more than that, even if you don't think it is.

That covers some of the best! Requisite apologies if I didn't include your favorite.

( Free Newsletter  — Patreon — Wulfgard — Werewolf Fact Masterlist — Twitter — Vampire Fact Masterlist — Amazon Author page )

[best-non-english-word-torunament]

Welcome to the best non-english word tournament!

What is this?

This is another bracket tournament, in which we will decide the best word. However, this tournament is also dedicated to linguistic diversity and promoting languages that aren't English, since they are less visible on the internet at large. This means that words in English are banned from competing to make room for the other 6500-7500 known languages (depending on how you count). To avoid other large languages taking over the poll (both counting native speakers and languages the average tumblr user is likelier to know) there will be a limit of four words from every language. Join me and learn new cool words in many different languages as well as vote for your favourite!

Who are you?

I'm a linguistics student and language nerd from Sweden who took lots of inspiration from @ultimate-word-tournament but wanted to focus on language diversity in words. I'll also sneak in some posts about the language situation in the world because it's a fascinating topic. My native language isn't English, so please be kind if my posts are worded weirdly sometimes

What makes a word good?

There are many ways that a word can be good, but here are some examples: it sounds good/feels good to say, the script looks nice, it denotes an interesting concept, it denotes a concept you like, it does something interesting grammarwise or soundwise, it's funny, it's an interesting/fun compound, it has an interesting/fun etymology, it just has good vibes... The possibilities are endless and a judgement probably consists of some combinations of these or others

Rules:

There will be 64 words and a maximum of four words per language

No words in English, but loanwords from English are allowed with good motivation

No conlangs (I love them but the focus is on natural language)

Words from signed languages are allowed and encouraged as long as you can provide an explanatory picture or film for the sign

Words from pidgins are allowed

Words from extinct languages are allowed

No made up words (if it isn't/wasn't used in the language it doesn't belong, neither does words only your family/friend group uses, but slang words are allowed)

Every submitter is allowed to submit a maximum of two words from the same language based on the honor system

Submissions:

Submissions were open until the bracket was filled and are now closed

I will need to do some selection if I recieve more than four submissions from a language and this selection will mostly be based on who submitted first, with exceptions for good motivations or difficulty finding information on a word (like IPA transcription). I will try my best to research all words and languages, but since I'm hoping for small languages it might be difficult to find. There might also be some selection based on including more languages and areal diversity if I get some really good ones between the 64th submission and closing the form, but we'll see.

Some guidelines:

If you're able, please provide an IPA transcription for your word (the International Phonetic Alphabet has a sign for each sound used in any language, which makes transcription of exact pronounciation possible)

Please provide a short motivation on what makes your word good

You will need to provide a translation/explanation of the word in English since that is the language this tournament is conducted in for ease of communication and reach. If the exact translation of a word is part of what makes the word good, please provide that too

Have fun! I can't wait to see your words. If you just want to vote, go ahead and follow me in the meantime

I will tag some other tournaments to hopefully make this reach people who know interesting languages and good words in them. Please consider doing the same if you want this tournament to be as good as possible.

@ultimate-word-tournament @ultimate-sentence-tournament @words-for-cat-bracket @ultimate-poll-tournament @titlesbracket @tournamentdirectory @eurovision-song-bracket @the-shape-showdown @fuckingstupidbracket

[linkedspirit-fanartfunart]

Ah the Link's got Tumblr again, smh can't have anything nice

2 notes

⚒️ smol-smithy Follow

NO WHY IS THE POLL A TIE. Why must I be doomed to share with these fools. This is nonsense.

⚒️ smol-smithy

Vi... Were you going to post behind our backs despite touting how "innane" it was and how it was "a waste of time"???

⚒️ smol-smithy

Hey why wasn't I included in the poll?

- Hero of Darkness

⚒️ smol-smithy

Shadow gtfo

⚒️ smol-smithy

how does Shadow know our password we changed it??

-Green

⚒️ smol-smithy

Passwords suck and so does Viofhhfksllkkkkkkkkkmmmnnnnnnfhkahf

🌟 excuuuse-me

Vio did you legit strangle your Shadow and hit send on his joke anyway? Because that's beautiful.

#this whole situatuon #art really #can I have a turn with your magic sword when you're done I think it'd be funny #everyone deserves More of Me

50 notes

🌸 dont-look-at-me Follow

How do I get a real life girl to kiss me pls

🌟 excuuuse-me

Please please please please please please please please please please please please plea-

🪶 redwingskies Follow

Apparently you just have to visit her shop like 3 times idk I still don't understand it

🌊 kingoftheseagull Follow

Give her some of your food, works every time.

🐴 goatman4life Follow

You sir are thinking about seagulls again, not women.

🌸 dont-look-at-me

You dont know me. What if I want seagull advice too?

94 notes

🐀 mouseman Follow

Best companion for adventures go!

⏳️ forestchild Follow

Fairy

🎶 ocarina-macarina Follow

Fairy!!

🌟 excuuuse-me

I legally can not say which is higher on the list because i will be strangled in my sleep but fairy & princess

🌸 dont-look-at-me Follow

Idk I keep accidentally having first dates via adventure so ig Girlfriend???

🪶 redwingskies Follow

Sword & Bird

🐴 goatman4life Follow

... Fairy

⚒️ smol-smithy Follow

I'd say myself but I found out that it sucks.

🌊 kingoftheseagull Follow

The silly old man who slowly realizes he wants to adopt me over the course of the journey. Fairy is Very close second. Then seagulls.

⚒️ smol-smithy

Oh hey actually ^ same.

🚋 train-life Follow

Ghost bestie

🌳 wildflowerwastaken Follow

#wait same??? #ghost friends for life #or. Uh. Postlife? #sorry. Idk. #also how are all of you posting in the reblogs like... #id die #....I can make that joke I already died once so it's funny now #anyways the rest of you are so biased #the answer is always Ghost Bestie #not like they can die again! Haha #ha.

746 notes

🌊 kingoftheseagull Follow

...omg what if the Hero of Time was turned into stone. I've seen it happen like twice and in totally different contexts so who knows. I mean can't come back to save the world if you're stone.

🎶 ocarina-macarina Follow

O-O

🐴 goatman4life Follow

He did not Hope this helps

⏳️ forestchild Follow

I did! Hope this helps

57 notes

🐴 goatman4life Follow

My son just bit me and after crying about how he didn't mean to actually break skin and calming down enough to like, talk, he said "Why do you taste like dark fog and goat?"

And while I have an answer for the goat thing I'm ??? Concerned

⏳️ forestchild Follow

I think you'd taste a lot like Black Boes, based on how you smell

🐴 goatman4life Follow

Why are children assigning me Flavors? Why do you know what black boes taste like??? I'm the guy who bites things not you

138 notes

🪶 redwingskies Follow

Why can't I pet anything on the surface. There's so many tiny cute creatures and they all either run away or want to kill me.

⚒️ smol-smithy Follow

When you're tiny and some giant comes at you with grabby hands what other options do you have?

🐴 goatman4life Follow

OP go find a cucco, they'll love you

🌸 dont-look-at-me Follow

Dont do it they both want to run away from you and also want to kill you at the same time

🪶 redwingskies Follow

They will love me like he promised I'm sure of it.

[lunarrosette]

Survey Results Finally!!!

Ok! So before the whole breakdown I wanna address a couple biases and shit. So I posted this on tumblr and on a couple dndads discord servers I'm in, notably the patreon server, both of these almost definitely caused some bias in stats particularly in patreon subscription and most used social media to engage with. That said it could have been posted elsewhere (which I’m totally fine with and actively encourage the bigger and more diverse the sample is the better) but I only posted there because I wanted to minimize potential non-fans taking it and I don’t have a twitter. I also added the question of whether you have relistened and your race, ethnicity, and nationality later (as it was suggested and i thought it was a good addition) so the sample is not the full amount of people who took this survey and is smaller than other question therefore less conclusive of the dndads fanbase as a whole.

I got a total of 142 responses (and the survey is still open) so let break down all that

There were 65 questions in total, while I’m not going to break down every single one I will break down most of them

Majority listen on spotify with patreon coming in a close second, the small individual answers are a mix of a combination of two or more platforms or platforms i forgot to add/didn’t know existed

A little over half of the fandom is apart of the patreon but still remember that there is a bias in this question because of where i sent the survey

Majority of the patreon is subscribed to the EX-L level (like me!!) with EX in a pretty close second (other is apart of EX because i forgot what is was call when I first made it)

Ron comes in a very close 1st between him and henry for favorite season 1 dad

Grant takes 1st in another pretty close one between him and terry for season 1 son and surprisingly Nick Foster actually got votes! (/j)

Scam likely with quite the lead as a fan favorite NPC

Now favorite episode was one I had to track separately because I set it as a free response but her are the top 4 favorites:

In 4th with 13 votes Episode 42 Henry’s Father and the Chamber of Secrets In 3rd with 16 votes Episode 56 S.W.A.P. (SWitched Ass Papas) In 2nd with 17 votes Episode 44 Deck Picks In 1st with 23 votes Episode 61 Death of a Salesman

Normal with fan favorite season 2 PC with almost half of the fandom

Terry Jr (surprising to me I love him but ig it's the silent majority cause i never see much about him) is first place

Very unsurprisingly hermie the unworthy for 1st place, bitches love this gay theatre kid but it is a little surprising the amount of a lead he has

Another one I had to by hand but the top 4 favorite season 2 episodes are

In 4th place with 5 votes, a 4 way tie between: Episode 22 Army of Tree, Episode 4 Barf Bum Movie Men, Episode 12 Scary Movie 2, and Episode 9 Debate Me Cowards

In 3rd place with 6 votes, Episode 5 Dance Dance Revelations (surprising to me as it’s not the part of the dance with Lark and Sparrow and Normal’s crisis)

In 2nd place with 8 votes, Episode 11 That thing? You Dude

Unsurprisingly in 1st place, the episode that I’ve heard some people say is one of the best episodes of Dungeons and Daddies, with 50 votes, Episode 23 Alright

Ron takes overall favorite

Hermie surpasses (one of) his father for favorite NPC

Jodie wins as the guest PC, which kinda surprises me

Oakworthy wins as the most popular ship, most of the thin slices are variations of “I don’t ship” and some less talked about ships

The majority of fans don't have a preference between season 1 or 2

At the Mountains of Dadness is the most popular piece of bonus content

The majority of the fandom have relistened to the podcast

The subject of Jodie, almost everyone liked how Jimmy played him but the views on his character are a little different. Many poll takers said he grew on them and the majority of the fandom seems to feel neutral to positive to him. A lot of people said he was a good narrative foil to Glenn (I agree!!) and that he’s “funny as fuck” (i also agree) however some people also voiced dislike him do to messing up the timeline, being a cop, messing up Nick’s character, and just the plotline he was apart of. Lots of ACAB in the responses.

Lots of funny responses on this one:

Asexual bitches and queer bitches love dungeons and daddies (I'm an asexual bitch myself) there was a whole one (1) fully cis het allo survey taker.

The fanbase skews pretty heavily to the younger side with the majority of the fandom being 18-25 and a huge majority if you just look at it as 25 and under.

Non-binary bitches love dungeons and daddies (I’m a non-binary bitch as well)

Huge majority of fans are neurodivergent with most thin results being a variation of “I don’t know, somethings probably wrong up there”

Anxious bitches love dungeons and daddies (i am an anxious bitch)

Majority of people who responded are white, however this question was implemented later and only has 62 responses.

Most fans got into dungeons and daddies from word of mouth, typically from friends or mutuals online

Relationships with fathers are mixed. A decent amount say good, some say bad, but a lot can be put as complicated. A good amount of people used parallels from dungeons and daddies most often grant and darryl.

Your dads cool as fuck

Relationships with moms are also mixed, but a little more drastic(?). The positives are generally stronger but the negatives are also more negative.

Most sibling relationships are good! However there were a decent amount of responses stating the relationship was distant

Majority of fans are from america but there's a good variety from all over.

Majority of the fandom interacts through tumblr (this still is one with bias)

Majority of fans say their experience with the fandom has been very good

Majority of fans make some for of fan content

Oaks are very big on the fandoms kin lists, especially normal

Most common fandoms: NADPOD TAZ D20 TOH MCYT/Minecraft DHMIS OFMD PJO TMA

Most common past fandoms: Danganronpa Sanders Sides TMA MCYT/minecraft Homestuck TAZ Voltron FNAF Theatre Cartoons (ex. Gravity falls, infinity train, TOH, ect.) Undertale Harry potter PJO

Fave fan creators: ajaystillblue Kineticallyanywhere Braindos Nick-close Awnrii Critdeeznuts Nolassolace Cerealforkart Tortelliniboi Oddkid on Ao3 Midnigtartist SandrC Submergedmemory Koszmarnybudyn Harveydoesart Roolt Coolestclowns Blu3boi Nojaloarts Sapphicx Mrslikely Almondcroissantsandink

Popular headcanons: t4t henry and mercedes Trans nick Generally gender queer/gnc oaks Season 2 teens autistic Ron autistic Basically all the season 1 sons dated each other at one point (queer friend group moment) Taylor uses mobility aids (notably a cane) Bi ron

Specific headcanons I really like (if any of these are your feel free to reblog as to claim them) I think Samantha likes to dress very colorfully while Ron is on the plain side, except when she gifts him an accessory that is just as colorful as she is, and while it clashes w/ the rest of his wardrobe he treasures it because he loves her lots Walter owns chickens and he grows herbs around their pen as a natural pest repellent Glenn is a sex-favorable asexual The shortest one I can fit here is that Glenn has a lot of stick n poke tattoos that are all made by Morgan (which disappeared after the verdict) and lark has bpd Yeets skateboard is a prosthetic Terry is the only son to go to therapy AROACE SPARROW <333 Hermie rights in Cursive like an asswhole Jewish Terry Jr and Samantha

Cats are by far the favorite animal in the dndads fandom with 35 votes

And the top three favorite colors are Blue with 23 votes Purple with 30 votes Green with 39 votes

Most common recs The Magnus Archives TAZ NADPOD Just Roll With It Self care (hydrate, sleep, take care of yourself) Mob Psycho Bears in Trees Malevolent Dndads fanfics (on ao3) OFMD WWDITS Will wood Ride the cyclone The Crane Wives

Oddly specific recs

[best-transgender-character]

Is all the characters being from Homestuck literal or a joke? (Genuine question, not upset. Just need clarification because that could really be either)

I'm breaking character in this post, for the only time. If you don't want the joke explained, don't keep reading.

Questions:

Is this a joke/rigged? Yes. Submissions were not taken into account, every poll of round one was drafted long before submissions closed. I had the list of competitors and the match-ups planned before I even made the blog. This was the plan all along. The competition was rigged from the very beginning.

Is this a real competition? Yes! I will be running polls with the characters in the match-ups. We will have a winner. It is still a real competition, and I encourage you to participate if you want, and reblog/vote and send propaganda.

Will you be running a different competition afterwards (with the real submissions)? No. This is the only competition I'm going to run. If you stick around only because you think there's going to be a different competition than this one, you'll be disappointed.

Why is X included? Why wasn't Z included? At the end of the day, the choice to exclude certain characters was a personal one. I'm no-longer going to be giving public reasoning for choices I've made including or excluding characters. You can DM me if you're genuinely concerned or curious.

Will you post the submissions? No, not publicly. If someone with prior competition experience wants to run the competition, they can reach out and I'll likely share the data with them.

Surely you don't actually expect us to believe it was all Homestuck submissions? No, I absolutely don't expect that. The absurdity is part of the joke. If you see my other posts insisting that the match-ups accurately reflect the submissions, that's because those posts are in-character.

Why did you do this? Mostly to see how people would react. The original inspiration for it came from the way Homestuck characters are sometimes over-represented in Tumblr competitions, as well as the way people get really mad about Homestuck characters in these competitions. The joke is that every single Homestuck character is transgender, and that these characters are superior to every other transgender character in media. The original thought process was something along the lines of, "You could submit every single Homestuck character to a poll like this."

Complaints:

I feel cheated that my character didn't get in!/I put so much work into my submission! The reality of these competitions is that most characters do not get in. If you're upset that your submission didn't make it, you're likely part of one of two groups. Either your character is less popular, and therefore wouldn't make the poll anyway, or your character is incredibly popular, in which case they've been included in countless identical polls already. When you submit a character, there's no guarantee that they'll make it. You do so voluntarily, with the knowledge that it's only a chance. If this is genuinely distressing to you, you may want to reconsider how you interact with online polls.

You're transphobic! I'm transgender, and I don't feel that this joke is at the expense of transgender people. Even if you do feel that this joke mocks the transgender community, I think it is healthy and good to be able to take the piss out of ourselves from time to time.

I was hoping to discover new transgender representation! This blog never claimed to be about transgender representation, and explicitly did not preference canonicity. However, if you're looking for interesting transgender characters, I have a webcomic in mind that you might find interesting.

This isn't funny. That's okay, the joke wasn't for you.

[ID: Anonymous asked "You could say we got trolled." End ID]

Credits:

Thank you to @hsrips for the promo and image edits.

Thank you to my friends for laughing with me.

Thank you to the people spreading the polls and rooting for the characters, especially the people getting really into the more niche characters.

And most of all, thank you to the people who originally reblogged the post, who were here before the round one announcement, who submitted a huge amount of characters, and who got really upset at me. This joke relied so heavily on you, and I appreciate it a lot.

[tamelee]

Hi tamelee ❤️ can you do an analysis/review of Kishimoto's recent popularity poll art? I saw a hashimada shipper comment on how Kishimoto drew Madara and Hashirama on exact opposite sides of each other + his love for symmetry and I was wondering if you noticed anything interesting in the illustration (just general observations, doesn't have to be about shipping 😊)

Hi Nonee, sure 🧡!

Long post - Image heavy:

Well, first my eye was drawn to the brightest part of the drawing. Promptly in the middle, big, foreshortening technique used on Minato's arm leading you to his face secondly where the colors gradually get darker and more saturated. As are the colors surrounding the NinJutsu to make it stand out more. Every line on this drawing illustrates Kishimoto's experience, talent and hard work regarding his knowledge on composition.

Then..

Sakura is holding the same type of axe-weapon she was also holding in an illustration for Chapter 15.

Naruto has a slightly different one on Volume Cover 33 too. (I'm obsessed tbh- LOOK AT THE KURAMA-TEETH ON THE SCROLL)

As you pointed out Madara and Hashirama are on opposites of the illustration, almost as if they're battling each other! But also look at how Kurama's tails embrace them, how that enhances the movement and expression of their battle-intent + the Rasengan twirls!! 😱 AND the weaponry that both come from behind their heads at the same spot. (Omg I love Kishimoto so much.)

(Of course on these sides too!)

Naruto and Sasuke are paralleled on either side of the illustration too! (And so are Kurama and Shukaku 🤭..)

Speaking of Shukaku, Gaara is holding what looks like the "Tea Kettle" he was sealed in. The former Jinchuuriki 'Bunpuku' and the beast were inspired by a Japanese folktale 'Bunbuku Chagama' where the creature in the tale is a raccoon dog, like Shukaku.

I think that's a really nice addition. (Especially since I saw this legendary creature used as a toy by this mini-Hinata look-a-like gremlin in 'Boruto'.. what's up with that anyway..)

I think Kakashi's weapon is kind of like the Kamui Shuriken he used when they fought Kaguya?

Furthermore:

I'm glad Kakashi and Sakumo are together on this.. also, Obito's goggles have made a comeback ;-;🥹! It's funny to me that Kishimoto started to draw Naruto with goggles (a way to cover himself and hide as he did in Chapter 1)

..but then said in a later interview that it was too much work. (I tried a few panels drawing them and I totally get it...) Anyway I digress-

We can also see Shisui wielding a sword/drill that looks like it was designed with his supposed(?) Susanoo in mind. This was seen in Ninja Storm the game.

NOW I'M NOT SURE ABOUT ITACHI'S SWORD... BUT:

It loooooooooks like a masamune sword, but I'm not sure.

I'm no expert on weapons. If anyone recognizes it...

Long-ass Indra's arrow-bow.. in physical form.. legendary!!! So fine 🤌 I also love how Kurama's tail frames him in the background. Orange looks good on you Sasuke.

The way the Rasengan swirl pulls your attention on him (and the characters in general) + the Chakra/energy sparks are all placed so nicely *-*! It really communicates more movement and liveliness into the illustration.

Neji is holding what looks like Chakram/Chalikar weaponry? These are throwing knives used for.. well throwing AND close combat. At least that's what I thought at first but then I was thinking about it more and the Hyuuga's "gentle fist" is based on "Baguazhang". This is a martial art style which uses a lot of rotation style techniques. (Hence.. "eight trigram palm" is real because that's what it literally means.)

There are special Baguazhang Crescent Moon knives/Deer horn knives that look like this:

I think that's what these are, which are perfect for rotation-based combat.

In the same category, Baguazhang in practice used a double-edged sword called 'Jian'. It was known as the "gentleman of weapons" in Chinese Folklore. Early Japanese swords known as 'Ken' or 'Tsurugi' are often based on 'Jian'.

It does seem a bit unusual since most of them don't have a guard like that, but they exist as Changjian, or longsword.

What she has could be a Tsurugi though not sure.

Regardless, it seems pretty heavy for her 😁?

Naruto and Jiraiya both stand very wide, using an open, boisterous body-language that Kishimoto often uses for the both of them in many of his previous art. This over-the-top, theatrical design and visual representation is based on 'Kabuki' which is a traditional form of Japanese theatre, dramatic performance/dance. The umbrella is called a 'wagasa', often used in these plays/ceremonies.

I'm happy these two made it!:

A sword made from the tail of Sasori's puppet, Hiruko? That goes so hard!! It kinda reminds me of Renji's (character from Bleach) sword. I always thought that design was so cool, but this one also has that poison..

Not sure how those clay mask bombs work wrapped around a string, but you gotta admit, they're pretty artful! Perhaps it's like wire binding infused with Chakra.. Or what if, once he has put them on you, your head explodes or something..

Additionally:

I love how Kishimoto just added Guy (and Kurama) because he wanted to but also because having Lee and Guy together on the illustration just seems right.

Shikamaru with Asuma's Chakra blades of course~ (He uses them for his Shadows Imitation Shuriken techniques... but I read he gave them away to Mirai?)

I might be missing many things but..

The more I look at it, the more nods to earlier work I see, tbh I could go on and on. I really appreciate it.

Oh and.. no there is no shipping-intent and hints/clue's at all that's also not what this is made for.

Don't let anyone fool you. Naruto is looking up to the banner he's holding lol. It's a shame that the first thing people look for is things like that and then discard the entire thing when it is made with passion, love and hard work..

Anyway thankyou for this ask, this was so fun 🥰

[callmearcturus]

RE your poll about being intimidating, in the gentlest way I can put it; you give off the aura of the nicest kid at the playground? You have so many friends that you're already playing with that it seems impossible you might be open to playing with anyone else. And for people who have followed you for a bit, it becomes apparent that while you like clever asks and comments, you're content with your current friend circle. Which is fine! You don't OWE anyone attention and you definitely have good reason for keeping things close(Arc Deep Lore). But people treat tumblr like that playground where it's as simple as "i like your shirt- i like yours- we're friends now", not the high suspect website that it is. And encountering someone who does guard their heart and privacy fiercely can be discouraging, maybe enough that people give up. This is a long answer and I am so sorry, I hope it makes sense. Feel free to answer or not, whatever you're comfy with!

That's a very interesting and insightful answer. I do have people I consider close friends who can basically have my attention on demand.

But I would point out that to get to that point of friendship, everyone starts off... not at that point, you know? Like, Punct and I are megacollaborating right now, but that started as "omg punct keeps leaving really smart funny comments, i wanna befriend them" and then we were just ambiently around each other in a discord server and now we DM and argue about fic outlines every night.

I'm a huge proponent of the idea that there are different levels of friendship, from fandom-specific acquaintances to longtime mutuals to I have two people I refer to as my brother and one of them went on vacation with me a few weeks ago. And none of those "tiers" are bad. It's fun to have fannish friends! It's fun to have lifelong besties you'd take a bullet for.

I also think I get fewer asks than you would assume, which might be part of the Arc Is Intimidating thing lmao.

Anyway, this is an interesting answer and I'm nodding. I have very firm boundaries and that's maybe what's intimidating.

[onewhoturns]

A-Z Challenge GAME 2

It was close, but looks like Afterparty won the vote for the A game, so I'll be returning to hell for the first time since 2020. 😈 That may take a few sessions this week, but while I'm working on that: let's figure out B time! I'll actually have a week long poll this time instead of rushing it into 24 hours.

This round features a few games I haven't tried yet, one I'm about halfway through that will take several hours to go, and one I beat on gog but haven't gone achievement hunting on steam. Descriptions of the options (ft trailers and tags) below the cut. (you may notice I love aesthetically interesting games lmao) (I also love detective games, and it's amazing I only put one that's kinda-like-that in this poll; there's three so far in the C picks)

1. BAD END THEATER (2021)

"welcome to BAD END THEATER! select your protagonist and explore a variety of terrible fates! the decisions you make in one story will affect the others. you can toggle these behaviors to open up new paths! unfortunately, every path leads to a bad ending… can you find a way to save this unlucky cast?" Steam tags: multiple endings, visual novel, story rich, LGBTQ+, choices matter, choose your own adventure, cute

2. Beckett (2018) (tw insects in trailer)

"A dark and unsettling narrative adventure that will shake you to your core. Take control of a reluctant investigator, trapped in a depraved and despondent world. BAFTA-winning and selected by the V&A for its pioneering narrative design, this disturbingly powerful story is unlike anything you've played." Steam tags: indie, adventure, nudity, gore, point & click, atmospheric, story rich, surreal, visual novel

3. Before Your Eyes (2021)

"Embark on an emotional first-person narrative adventure where you control the story—and affect its outcomes—with your real-life blinks. With this innovative technique you will fully immerse yourself in a world of memories, both joyous and heartbreaking, as your whole life flashes before your eyes." Steam tags: emotional, narrative, story rich, indie, first-person, walking simulator, interactive fiction, adventure

4. Bear and Breakfast (2022) (I have 24/43 achievements after 16hrs of play, hltb estimates an average 35hrs completionist)

"Bear and Breakfast is a laid-back management adventure game where you play as a well-meaning bear trying to run a B+B in the woods. Hank and his friends find an abandoned shack and, equipped with their teenage ingenuity, turn it into a money-making bed and breakfast scheme for unsuspecting tourists." Steam tags: economy, life sim, relaxing, rpg, casual, story rich, cute, simulation

5. Broken Age (2014) (I completed it on gog but only have 3/45 achievements from 45min of play on steam, hltb estimates an average 14hrs completionist)

"A family friendly, hand-animated, puzzle-filled adventure game with an all-star cast, Broken Age is a timeless coming-of-age story. Vella Tartine and Shay Volta are two teenagers in strangely similar situations, but radically different worlds. The player can freely switch between their stories, helping them take control of their own lives, and dealing with the unexpected adventures that follow." Steam tags: point & click, adventure, story rich, comedy, indie, funny, casual

[roanofarc]

wait what has actually happened with the fob/mcr feud stuff my whole dash is just vague references to something happening

i’m putting this below a read more bc it’s going to get long and i don’t really want to recap all this but i’d rather do it myself than have more people totally misrepresent the situation, so.

okay so mcrblr has been for some reason passing around a bunch of polls about how comparatively good the members of mcr are at different kinds of sex.

aside number one: my personal stance on this is that i think it’s weird to speculate about the guys’ sex lives, even as a joke, but given that none of them will see it, it’s whatever. i’ll scroll past it and move on. if pressed i do think that kind of joking should probably be kept to a closed discord server where everyone is in on the joke, because doing it on here means it will inevitably break containment, but again. not my circus, not my monkeys.

anyways. a mcr blogger is like “this sex discussion is so funny, what if it was expanded to include more of bandom” and then used patrick stump as an example. from what i can tell they were trying to satirize the way mcr fans were talking about the guys’ sex lives. they said some stuff in a now deleted post that included things like “patrick would light candles and play marvin gaye during sex [subtext: in a lame way]” and “he looks like a mouse” (note that this is something mcr fans very commonly say about gerard)

that post broke containment and fob fans interpreted it as suggesting that patrick is bad at sex and thus is fatphobic, based on the fatphobic idea that fat people are sexually unappealing

aside number two: fatphobia in bandom is a real issue and nothing i have said has meant to trivialize that. it is absolutely something that has contributed to the way people have treated and talked about both patrick and gerard. but it is not what i see to be the true crux of the situation i’ve been observing here.

okay now let’s go back in time a bit. last year mcr toured again for the first time in a decade. mcr fans understandably went crazy. at some point along the way, i started seeing posts from fob bloggers complaining about specifically mcr fans talking shit about fob and praising mcr at fob’s expense

aside number three: i am a fan of both fob and mcr. i was a fan of fob first. i saw them last week and cried. i do not think either band is better than the other, but if pressed, i would say i personally like mcr more, because i identify more heavily with them/their storytelling. i follow people who like both, people who like mcr and not fob, and people who like fob and not mcr. i myself have never actually seen a mcr fan hating on fob specifically. from my perspective, most mcr fans either like fob or don’t really talk about them. i did see a few posts claiming that mcr was doing things no other band had done or could do (objectively untrue, but understandable hyperbole from big fans) but as far as i could tell fob was never namedropped.

so yeah every now and then i would see some vagueposts about mcr fans from fob bloggers. once polls became a thing the “feud” would come up whenever a bandom poll would get passed around, people would complain about the results, etc

back to the present. op of the post doubles down. a mcr blogger says something like “patrick is a normal size for a 40 something man” which they clearly meant to mean “being fat is within the range of normal bodies” but was interpreted as “i can’t be fatphobic bc patrick isn’t fat. he’s normal and fat people aren’t normal”

i’m too tired to keep typing and it’s 1 am and in 7 hours i am getting on a plane for a one day round trip to see my grandfather before he dies so i’m logging off now. sorry i didn’t finish explaining but i feel like this is probably enough that you can bridge the gap to where we are now. if you have more questions you can dm me or send another ask. i do have more analysis of the situation i just really can’t deal with trying to distill it right now. most of my posts about the issue have been meant to encompass the entire months in the making feud that i believe has lead us to this point, not the specific post

if you’re going to be like why are you involving yourself in bandom drama when your family member is dying it’s because i can’t do anything about it and i was TRYING to use tumblr as a distraction. also like i said the feud has been months in the making and as someone who likes both bands i was really sick of ppl acting like we were enemies

[divine-swag-summit]

Round 1 Summary

Round 1 is over, folks! Thanks so much for voting!

I'm not gonna lie, this tournament has been kind of a hassle to set up, but seeing your propaganda and your comments in the tags have made it so worth it! Seriously, y'all are hilarious.

I won't be listing the results of every matchup here, you can look at the round masterposts for that, but I will highlight some of the more notable matches.

Closest Matches

Behemo Barisol vs Crimson: 50/50 Somehow, we ended up having a perfect tie on Round 1-A of the Higher Bracket! That's only the first day of voting! Isn't that amazing? Behemo and Crimson will both move on to round 2 and will go against The Forest Spirit in a three-way poll!

The Smiling God vs Saiki Kusuo: 49.1/50.9 With just a .8% difference, Saiki K. managed to pull through! And on the Night Vale website no less! Great job Saiki! Your friends are probably very proud, though you probably don't enjoy all this attention,,,, sorry!

Mare Incubus vs Mianite: 50.4/49.6 Would ya look at that, Mare Incubus made it to round 2! I honestly didn't think he would get this far, considering the fact that he's the protagonist of a Norwegian book series that had never been translated to English. All that propaganda certainly paid off! Great job, Mare!

Jake English vs Mythra: 49.5/50.5 I honestly didn't think this match would be so close! I'm not sure who I thought the favorite would be, but I certainly didn't think they would almost tie! Sorry Jake, looks like your Hope powers weren't strong enough to get you the win. You still have a long way to go on your journey, young Page. As for Mythra, well, I don't know much about Xenoblade, so here's what my friend has to say about her win: "I see mythra won and therefore everyone is correct"

Biggest Sweeps

The Great God Om vs Feena: 86.8/13.2 I'm so sorry for this matchup, Feena. I genuinely underestimated how popular Discworld was! Feena will have another chance at victory in the losers bracket. Maybe this time, she'll have a fair shot at victory.

Rosalina vs Scaramouche: 81.1/18.9 As a Genshin fan, I think it's very funny that Scaramouche lost this hard. I'm glad we can all agree that he's truly a small, sad little wet noodle. Also, fun fact, I beat his boss fight first try. Get rekt you pathetic little man.

Shade Lord vs Ozpin: 80.8/19.2 Ya know what, I get it. Shade Lord does look pretty cool. Perhaps this was an unfair matchup. To be honest, I kind of thought RWBY's popularity would make this unfair for Shade Lord.

Dianite vs Alecto: 18.6/81.4 Yeah, I should've seen this coming. Once again, I didn't know how popular The Locked Tomb was when I made the bracket! I'm so sorry Dianite, but you still have a second chance in the losers bracket!

Anoia vs Xanu: 80.3/19.7 RIP Xanu, I'm not caught up on Fool's Gold so I don't know what your deal is, but you will be missed.

Four vs Alter: 18.8/81.2 I just wanna say, every single picture of Four I found was absolutely hilarious. I've never seen Battle for Dream Island, but I can tell that Four would probably be my favorite character if I did. Well, see you in the losers bracket, Four!

The Prophet's Personal Highlights

Bill Cipher vs Madoka Kaname: 35.8/64.2 Honestly, it was so funny to see everyone rooting for Madoka to beat Bill's ass in the tags. In other, unrelated news, Bill Cipher was found dead in Miami. Oops, I wonder who could've done that!

The Glow Cloud vs Q: 70.4/29.6 I honestly thought this would be closer, considering how popular Star Trek is. This matchup definitely surprised me. Also, my mom was very upset about Q's loss. She's very disappointed in you all.

Venti/Lord Barbatos vs Void Termina: 32.9/67.1 Alas, my poor blorbo! As poll runner, there was nothing I could do to sway opinions in Venti's favor, for I must remain impartial! It hurts to see my favorite silly little guy lose, but at least we still have the losers bracket.

The Harvest Goddess vs Hanyuu Furude: 51.2/48.8 Yet another blorbo, gone too soon! Hanyuu, you're the best in my heart. Unfortunately, this match was too close to allow Hanyuu to qualify for the losers bracket, so this was her only chance. Hanyuu, you will be missed.

Starclan vs Featherine Augustus Aurora: 67.4/32.6 I've never played Umineko, but I have some friends who have, and, well. We all voted for Starclan. To think, Starclan is so powerful that even Umineko fans voted against Featherine. Ah, well. She still has another shot with the losers bracket.

And that's it for the round recap!

So, what now? Well, on Thursday I will start the Losers Bracket! Tomorrow I'll release the bracket so you can get your propaganda ready.

[zeldamphibiedalls]

What about love

for the poll results. I was surprised at how many people voted.

Sky had gotten the worst watch hour. Legend had woken him up not too long ago, he'd fallen asleep a few minutes later.

Sure Sky was a bit of a sleeper, could probably win if it was a competitive sport, but he could tell when others had fallen into the comforting darkness as well.

That being said, he looked over to see warriors, who he'd observed to be faking slumber. The captain was turning over a lot, making small humming noises every few minutes. You could mistake it as a nightmare, but the cautiousness of the turns gave it away.

He'd seen Sun, he preferred Zelda, do the same thing many times, attempting to appease him by giving the appearance of slumber. He caught on after a while, waking up to see her knitting, crocheting, or any other time passing activity. Of course, these were two different people.

One was a captain, plagued by the trails and burdens of war, forced to see his companions die and suffer. The other was the reincarnation of the goddess, still figuring out whether she was something else. Both feared sleep, either out of distrust of their surroundings, or themselves.

Sky slowly got up from the comfortable path of grass he called a seat, and made his way over to his friend.

"I know you're awake, c'mon, you can sit with me." The chosen one whispered, the captain peeking his eyes at the figure.

Warriors quietly sat up and they both made their way to Sky's perch.

"Do you wanna talk about it? Whatever is keeping you up. It helps Zel- Sun fall asleep faster, it might do the same for you." Sky asked, keeping a low tone of voice for their sleeping companions.

"Sorry, I just think sometimes, It's stupid." There was a pause, "I was thinking about Cia."

Sky nodded, he knew very little about the mysterious sorceress that had caused so much trouble for his friend.

"What about her?" He asked, trying to coax the truth out of him. "

She was part of one person, her and Lana. The thing is though, if cia was obsessed with me, what about Lana. She did seem to like me… a lot. See, the legends say the goddess fell in love with the hero, and if both of them are part of the goddess."

Sky quickly wrapped his sail cloth around his friend. Pulling the captain in close. Not saying a word. Warriors leaned in, the act of kindness bringing in some comfort.

"Well, everything is okay right now, no war or anything. Just…"

"Everything left over. Yeah, you remind me of Zelda." Sky had finished Warriors sentence, sun had said those words plenty of times before. "

It's funny… a goddess who loves you found her way into your heart, mine just created more walls."

The captain let out a sigh.

"I hope that one day, someone can climb those walls." Sky replied.

Some time after, both the knights had dozed off. After Sky woke up Time for his watch.

[lords-of-fortune]

Anyways these are my Thoughts(tm) about all of those options for the title of Rodaine's first guy crush.

Niall- the idea of Rodaine pretending to Owain that he has no idea who the fuck Niall is despite having had an embarrassingly long-lived crush on him is funny as fuck to me. Also I feel like if Rodaine wasn't over the crush pre-broken circle, he'd be way over it by the end just because he can't stand when people get all mopey and give up without trying, so the way Niall acts during the Fade Quest is a major turn off

Torrin- the thoughts I have here are super nebulous and mostly just "all thoughts aside from 'Torrin Hot' fly out of Rodaine's head when Torrin is in close proximity" I think though, the second the phrase "I'm an aequitarian myself" came out of his mouth, Rodaine went oh, nvm

Jowan- I feel like this is the most valid one ahdjkdf. He was Rodaine's only genuine friend when they were both lonely frightened children. Jowan knows how to draw a smile out of Rodaine when no one else does. Even if i decide Rodaine never had a crush on him, they absolutely loved each other.

Cullen- this one is funny to me because Rodaine having a crush on him would be completely involuntary. He'd try so hard to not have a crush on Cullen but the butterflies in his stomach seem to have different plans. Rodaine hates every second of it and is very glad when Cullen tells him to his face that he should have let everyone in the circle die because it's a shot of insecticide directly to those butterflies. Finally he's over this crush. The circumstances this victory has been reached at are a steep cost but. Rodaine will take what he can get

Kinnon- this is the most nebulous one. I actually don't have that many Thoughts about this guy.

(Anders)- he wasn't on the poll bc I. Forgor. But hilarious to me if Anders was his first crush bc that would mean he circled right back to this crush after Morrigan dumped him. Also hilarious because he insists that he doesn't have a crush on Anders, his face gets this red around him because he's angry about the fact that Anders got everyone's Outside privileges revoked by swimming across the lake. (This is only mostly a lie)

(Karl)- I also forgor him. I don't have that many thoughts about him either but I think it's funny if Rodaine and Anders had the same taste in men and it would give another layer of Weird to Rodaine's relationship with Anders during awakening that deeply amuses me.

Maric- Rodaine is a nerd and he absolutely could develop a crush on a hot guy in a picture he saw once. Was objectively the safest option since a photo can't break your heart and he's definitely never meeting King Maric. It feels a lot less safe Rodaine comes face-to-face with Cailan who is, regrettably, also hot. And then it subsequently feels even less safe when he learns that Maric is Alistair's fuckin dad too because now he can't look Alistair in the eyes for like a full day after that revelation bc how do you look a man in the eye when you've been having daydreams about his dad carrying you away into sunset since you were like 14?

[goldenhypen]

based on ur blog, polls like that seem kinda pointless cuz won and riki are the most popular so naturally they will win either way and every time

hey anonnie :) it’s funny you say that because at least at the time i’m answering this ask, sure won is winning,, but only by maybe a couple votes out of the 160+? and then there’s hee in a v close second place,,, riki is in the top 3,,, like i’ll give you that ig but hoon is v close and has been surprisingly surpassing riki and even won here and there. and actually if you look at the results rn, all the members are almost tied (expect for poor sunoo 😭 <//3) but besides that, heeseung has actually been first place for probably around half the time the poll has been up so far? and him and won have been switching quite frequently which imo is v interesting to see. you are right about won and riki being the most popular to read for on my blog but through this i’m also trying to learn a bit of why exactly this is,,, is it that my blog attracts won and riki readers? is it that my writing style suits them better than other members? are they just more popular to read for in general? or maybe it’s smth totally different. cuz from what ik, hee and jay are the most popular biases are they not? i also just find these results v helpful bc i can get an idea of how much more popular certain members are compared to others. and by what i’m seeing so far, it’s actually quite even. so while your theory is somewhat valid,, cuz honestly i do think the same as you sometimes,, i wouldn’t go as far as to say that doing a poll like this is pointless and that won and riki will win Either way And Every time.