#the depression with anxiety/anxiety with depression thing is not the same thing btw! they're two very different experiences!

[krikeymate]

slight Canon divergence

What if Sam also deals with major depression because of everything that’s been going on. Tara pushing her away, not really having a focus or goals for the future outside of Tara. And if Tara doesn’t want her then what does she have to live for?

Cue her argument with Tara at the beginning of the 6 leaves her feeling so depressed that she actually tries to end her life. This way she won’t be a burden to Tara anymore and Tara wont have to deal with people coming after them. She genuinely believes Tara would be better off without her and Tara wants her to let her go and the nsuper angsty aftermath of Tara realizing that Sam is missing, Tara getting the call that Sam is in the hospital for the attempt and then the subsequent rush of guilt that just ruins her as she sits at Sam’s bed side waiting for her to recover.

Sam has depression with anxiety, Tara has anxiety with depression.

Tara wants her to let her go. But how can she? How can she let go of her whole world? Who is she without her sister? She can't do that again. Sam never realised how empty her life was until she held her sister in her arms again. She spent five long years surviving without her heart, nothing but a zombie stumbling her way through life in the hopes it would lead her back home once again. But what do you do when you find it and it shuts the door in your face?

Sam can't do anything but let the latest argument stew around in her head as she sits at the bottom of the complex stairs. Tara's right. She can't just follow her sister around for the rest of her life, can she? Tara's not like Sam. She's normal. She's going to lead a normal life: get a degree, get a real job... meet someone... settle down, have a family of her own... Sam doesn't fit into that equation. Tara... she- she wouldn't be happy with the vision of the future Sam holds. One where they're eternally young and wrapped in each other's arms, where no one can rip the other away from them.

Sam finds she can't sit there any longer. She needs fresh air, she needs a walk.

~

Tara does her best not to make it obvious how hard her heart is racing as the tv drones on. She closes her eyes, trying to breathe deep. This can't be happening, not again. It's a coincidence, it has to be, it has to be. I need to just breathe and think clearly and I need... I need... I need Sam.

"Where's Sam?" Thankfully it's Mindy who pulls the words right from her brain. Tara opens her eyes to find Chad in the doorway, shaking his head. "She's not down there."

Tara finds her body moving of its own accord. Her feet take her back to her room, her hand fishing in her pocket for her phone. It rings, and rings, and rings, and- the number you have dialled cannot be rea- Tara slams the phone onto her bed in frustration. "You're supposed to pick up when I call!"

~

Sam feels her phone vibrating in her pocket, but can't bring herself to look at it. The night air is chilly as she sits in her still-damp shirt, but Sam doesn't really feel it. She's having trouble feeling anything at all. Her hands fiddle with a switchblade aimlessly. Open, closed. Spin it around. Open, closed. Spin it around. Open, clos- ouch. A car horn in the distance makes her jump, knife slipping and cutting into the meat of her palm.

Later, Sam will wish she knew what to say when asked why and what were you thinking. The truth is that she doesn't know why, and she wasn't really thinking at all. It was instinct, perhaps. A thirst for blood that sits in her very bones, starving for another sip, another taste. The next cut is deliberate. The sting feels delicious, it feels. There's a moment where Sam doesn't think about her sister, where she just focuses on the pain and the blood, and then the knife is slipping from her fingers to the floor, and she realises how dizzy she feels, how cold it's gotten. How deep she's cut. Oh, she thinks. Tara's gonna be so mad at me.

She manages to call 911 before she passes out.

~

Tara hates hospitals.

She's spent her entire life in and out of them. Usually as the patient. Somehow, being the visitor is worse.

She sits there unable to tear her eyes away from Sam's wrists, bandaged and tied down to the bedframe. A necessary precaution, just in case, the nurse told her, not unkindly. It wasn't very reassuring.

This is her fault, she knows. She knows. Sam's always been the strongest person of them all, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have a weak point, something that makes her fragile. Tara knows that weak point is her. She may as well have held the knife herself.

She scoots the chair forward, and brushes her fingers over her sister's arm. She has to do better, she thinks. She blew up at Sam tonight, and it was unacceptable. She needs to get control over herself, for her sister. She can't let what happened last year have this power over her. She's stronger than that, she has to be stronger than that. For Sam. Sam needs her.

[toxicnorn]

i didn't really do this for the sake of nostalgia but i was looking through some past blogs and internet IDs of mine

i'm a very different person from who i was when i originally joined tumblr. i approach writing in a very different way. my opinions on a lot of things have changed a lot. i really cannot give two shits about most discourse nowadays that i used to have opinions on.

when it comes to creative work, i had a lot more energy and confidence, but this was a double-edged sword because for a long period of time, i was single-handedly focused on rp as a distraction from some real heavy shit irl and my fandom stuff wasn't necessarily healthy for me. this is something i've struggled with on and off over the years because i tend to latch really hard to fiction and characters when things are bad. i wrote some really good sentences though and some good characters. i keep trying to recreate the same feelings by recycling characters, but they're different each time because nostalgia's a false thing and you can't just make the same thing twice but different and expect it to be the same.

my latest attempts at fic and rp are trying to come from a different source, which i think is healthier in the long run.

i was like super depressed from 2014-2018 and then the election pummeled me into a different funk for two years, which was better in some ways but worse in others. around 2019, i was finally able to move out of my parents' house for some time. it wasn't very far but it did help me clear my head a bit.

then 2020 happened. i moved back in with my parents for a few months and it was kind of awful, but then i moved back and things were actually better on my end for a bit, but i was still very weird and squirrelish.

2021 happened somewhere along those lines and i don't remember most of 2021 because it was a hell year of going to doctor's appointments until the very end of it. i moved across the country in 2022 to be with my gf (hey bb love you very much if you are reading this) and for the first time maybe ever, i feel like i'm in a pretty good place. i know that there is a still a lot of work ahead of me to figure out How to Be A Person 101 and get over my hangups but i'm really happy.

anyway, when your creative output has been based entirely on distracting yourself from blue moods up until now, it's a bit wild trying to readjust your brain to go "hey, actually, it's okay to like things just to like them, you can fuel yourself with other emotions, having characters that live in your head is not cringe or something." i'm having fun though, even if i can't manage the output that i'd like to.

this isn't me gloomyposting btw. i think if anything, it's the opposite because things are pretty okay. i might have issues that creatively frustrate me and i might have flaws i'm trying to work on and of course learning How To Social is always an ongoing effort and we aren't even getting into the ongoing saga of Getting My Bran To Work On Medication (on one hand, it's been great because i have the least amount of anxiety than i have ever had in my life; on the other hand, my brain feels like it's two feet out of reach more days than i'd like it to and i'm really frustrated by the fact that i cannot make the connections between thoughts and actions, like my brain just stutters before comprehending that ii should do very basic actions), but all in all, things are great and i'm excited for the future.

there are a lot of people i've lost track of that vanished off tumblr after 2018. i realized a small handful of people were assholes. some of the people i used to know seem to have fallen off the fact of the internet entirely and i doubt i'll ever learn what happened to them. at least one of my very early internet friends died, klim. i don't really know what happened to most of the people i knew in those days when i was on gaia online but i hope that they're doing well. i was a very different person when i was on that site but i was also 16, so of course i was.

anyway, i talk different now. i communicate differently. my internet voice has changed. i used to use random caps for everything. i don't capitalize shit anymore and you can't make me.

i don't really want to get back into the mindsets of me of years prior, but i do want to be able to tap into that well of creative potential because it seemed like i had so much energy for writing, for talking about writing, for sharing and brainstorming and thinking. i know that i am a person capable of writing a novella in the same of a few weeks so i want to regain that.

but i want to have more fun with it this time. i want it to belong to me and not belong to various plagues and maladies. i think deep down, there is a part of me that misses being nine and thinking i had invented fanfiction and talking about my zelda fic with all my friends without a hint of self-consciousness, but, like, with less 1999 going on because the 90s normalized a lot of shit that's not great.

anyway i don't really know where i'm going with this, so i am going to rotate characters in my mind before i go to bed

[commander-ralyle]

General update for here. Sorry I haven't been on in a long time. Been trying to get away from scrolling, but got sucked into Facebook scrolling cause the drama video excerpts get me. X'D I am jobless. Have been for awhile. I had a really good job for a few months, but it was a contract one. I got a job for four days before they let me go for "no specific reason" i.e. I am close to being diagnosed with lupus, had to sit down for 5 minutes because I was in a huge amount of pain, ADHD, and hated the fact that nothing in a restaurant was consistent. I started therapy for awhile, but new conditions for my insurance fucked me over with my depression/anxiety and so lost that. I have been on meds and will be for another two months at least before I run out. They have been amazing at helping me control my moods. I am still living with my parents and still hate it. Not as much as I used to, but I'm dealing and still want out. My grandparents now also live on the property. My white privileged boomer trump supporting grandparents by the way. They're not bad so long as you don't mention stuff. They know I'm queer, but just ignore it so could be worse. My brother has been useless emotions/social wise, but is being kind enough to help me financially at times as have been my parents. I'm going to try and start a business this week though with my uncle's help. He got a job with the county that gives him grants that he can help ppl take training with and he's offered it to me as I'm the least successful out of his kids and nieces/nephews which I really appreciate his help. My girlfriend and I are doing amazing and communicating lots. I love her more than I can ever express and appreciate her willingness to talk things out with me. :) She's the light of my life as sappy as that is. <3 :D My cat Chroma is doing pretty well socially now. She doesn't run as much if I'm standing over her. My cockatiel Tristan is as noisy as ever and still not ppl friendly, but I love him and he mimics my tone a lot even if he doesn't talk which is super cute. <3 We have a German Shepard we rescued and I get along with pretty well. Normally I hate petting dogs cause of their smell/fur unless it's with my foot, but I can tolerate petting her with my hands. My therapist just before we stopped recommended walking her and spending time with her to get over my social anxiety. My social anxiety btw is suuuper bad. I can't stand being in large gatherings unless there's a lot of space or I can escape as needed. Eating at tables is fine thankfully as there's plenty of space often times. I'm still addicted to Dr Pepper, but thankfully am not diabetic and managed to get away from being prediabetic. So that's a dodge. Part of the reason I mention all this is I am Indigenous so am more in danger of diabetes and other similar diseases. The lupus might also be from my dad's side of the family which is where I get my Indigenous roots from. The lupus is pretty bad. It explains my fatigue and brain function problems that do interfer with my day to day life. It also has caused a big deteriation in my eyesight often causing pain. It was actually an emergency eyedoctor who was the first to name lupus as a suspect and my doctors at the same location as my therapist were able to have me tested and it was positive. I have not been to a specialist so no meds or official diagnosis yet due to the insurance issues. :( My halfsister who my dad adopted had her second child so that's interesting. I'm still hiding from babysitting cause I know I'm not gonna get paid or appreciated and tbh children that young scare me cause they're fragile, messy, and can be pretty mean. :/ Maybe I can get over it eventually, but for now hiding from getting roped into stuff is easier. I'm not rude/mean to the kids tho obvs. That'd be horrible. Sister is at least trying to be nicer as is my brother since they're starting to see now how fucked up I am emotionally and mentally from all I've gone through cause of things they said or did or that our family said or did. So looking up despite all the setbacks. :)

All in all, life is fucking crazy and never know what you dig up. It's going alright though and mentally I'm still bad, but not as bad as I used fo be. Mainly thanks to the meds tbh. I do miss being more social on various websites, but have had to cut that back a lot. Hopefully can get things going again someday soon. :)

[oursystembl0g]

EXACTLY!!

Like for real, my BRO, my GAL, my PAL, THERE ARE NO RESOURCES!!!!

Ok, I'm just going to talk a bit more in depth about faking. When I say faking, also read it as exaggerating mental health issues. Because theyre the same category.

I hate the way these people stigmatize mental health even MORE! You are just making:

1- everyone angry at each other

2- demonizing attention seeking (which, is normal btw!!! Wanting attention/validation/love is normal!!! Some people don't get any of these VERY NORMAL things and cry out for help!!)

3- makes attention seekers/fakers just flat out ignore the issue that they're having because it's not safe for them to confront the issue. Because it means "they're terrible people". ( It can also make the faking unconscious.)

NO!! it's normal, and outside of being "annoying" to SOME PEOPLE, it doesn't hurt anyone (if you say they spread misinformation, even non faking and/or diagnosed people can do that!! I'm diagnosed and I've spread misinformation about depression before, for example!!)

4- MOST FAKERS ARE MINORS/CHILDREN!!!! Y'all don't want to admit that tough. And just want to doxx and bully others.

......I just want to say something. You do not need to talk or interact with fakers AT ALL?!!!!?? If it annoys you so much that you BULLY and ABUSE them, then it's best if you just leave them ALONE.

yeah!! Fakers exist, they will always exist, but guess what!! Faking. Is. A. Cry. For. Help!! And/or signs of other mental illness, such as, you guessed it: ALMOST EVERY ONE OF THEM!!! (Bpd, depression, hpd, anxiety, etc!! So Much more!!)

Just let people live in peace. Like, actually, genuinely,,, believe me, if fakers could just snap their fingers and make the faking go away THEY WOULD. But it's just a sign of poor mental health. Do you really think others like to be bullied? Abused, doxxed, loose friends? No!! But it can be the only way they know how to be heard/express themselves.

If you want to combat misinformation (which is totally ok and valid btw!!) Just don't make it about fakers because there is not necessarily a connection between the two?

Like, non faking people can and WILL eventually spread misinformation. Diagnosed people can and will spread misinformation eventually. And that happens, it's ok. Don't shame others, and educate them instead.

!!!! SYSCOURSE WARNING !!!!

Cw: Yelling, caps, big text, lots of cussing

"If you're traumagenic why are you affected by-" SHUT UP !!!!!!!! I LITERALLY DON'T FUCKING CARE. I HAVE BIGGER ISSUES !!!!!! I DON'T CARE IF SOMEONE IS "FAKING" !!!!! "They're taking resources" WHAG FUCKING RESOURCES !!!!!!!! YOU GET PRIVILEGES TAKEN AWAY IF YOU'RE DIAGNOSED !!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU THROWING A BIG FUCKING HISSY FIT ONLINE !!!! MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS !!!! IF SOMEONE IS FAKING, 1) THAT'S NOT FOR YOU TO DECIDE AND 2) THEY OBVIOUSLY NEED HELP OF SOME OTHER KIND !!!!! AND YOU SHOUTING AT PEOPLE ENDLESSLY IS NOT FUCKING HELPING !!!!

YOU ALL HAVE SUCH HIGH FUCKING REGARD OF YOURSELVES BUT WOULD CURL INTO A FUCKING BALL AND DIE IF SOMEONE FAKE CLAIMED YOU SO WHY DO IT TO SOMEONE ELSE !!!!! YOU DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE FAKING AND TELLING EVERYONE YOU THINK IS FAKING THAT THEY ARE MAKES YOU A FUCKING

TERRIBLE PERSON.

I mean that from the bottom of my fucking heart. Because no matter how many times you fake claim someone, the chances of you fake claiming a system who GENUINELY IS ONE, is fucking high and no one has any goddamn regard for when they fuck up and test the limits of other people's lives. Mind your fucking business online, be nicer, you're not the fucking cops.

-Bro 🧢

[transbakerswife]

Trivender au headcanon masterlist

Trina Mora: first of all her last name comes from a sims 4 falsettos game file i hsve where i just tried to randomize her a last name and this is what i got. She's bisexual and has depression i don't think anyone ever doubted that. Also a lot more chaotic in this au than canon? That's just the effect Lavender has on her ig.

Lavender Baker: MY LOVE!! I already explained her name's origin in the pinned post. Like my url implies she's trans and she's also bisexual. Girlboss. Polyamorous but thankfully no longer a cheater we don't talk about that storyline in the original. It didn't happen. How did she get pregnant if she's trans you may ask? I don't fucking know how did Cinderella talk to a tree by that logic. There's no logic in the itw universe <3

Baker Baker: he's a baker if you couldn't guess. Transmasc bisexual wet cat of a man. Malewife. Left handed. Severely traumatized. Daddy issues. Also both him and his wife are jewish, naturally.

Bread Baker: Baker and Lavender's child. His name is Bread. I don't have much to say about him.

Jack: gay gay homosexual gay. Autism. Zero braincells whatsoever.

Little red riding hood: non binary icon 😌. because i said so. Also lesbian. You can't tell me what to do. Also autism but a different genre of autism than Jack.

Cinderella: also a lesbian with the worst case of comphet I've ever seen.

Milky white: bigender icon.

Marvin Gardens: just my regular headcanons for any incarnation of him. ADHD, bpd, being a weatherman. Controversally i did go with the Gardens last name. I'm sorry.

Whizzer Brown: autism, and demiromanticism. Also photographer Whizzer since everyone seems to love this headcanon. And he's from Omaha Nebraska just for the fun of it. He and Marvin have two cats btw he bought both of them which Marvin initially didn't approve of but accepted later on. They're named Chess and Racquet because I'm uncreative.

Mendel fucking Weisenbachfeld: BISEXUAL!! Bi Mendel real!! He canonically didn't earn his diploma in this one 0/10 worst psychiatrist ever

Mr Bungee: not actually homophobic, he himself is gay, but he is a capitalist. Cis white rich gay man. He's also an absolute loser. Frogs.

Jason Gardens: I'm so sorry for making him get the gardens name too. AUTISTIC as hell also aromantic and possibly aplatonic i'm projecting too hard probably. Jack, Red, Cinderella and Bread all count as his siblings and i would love to make content of these kids in the future

Charlotte and Cordelia: idk how exactly they fit into the au except Trina definitely did talk to them first thing when having her sexuality crisis. Charlotte probably has anxiety idk. And some level of non binary.

The witch/Luna: lesbian. But also arospec. And asexual possibly. And autistic now that i think about it. One look at the baker's father was what made her realize she's not attracted to men. She's mostly just done with everyone's bullshit. Her name is Luna i don't know why i decided that. This is my au so my rules. She somehow ends up dating Dot i have no clue how that happens.

Dot: local she/they. Token neurotypical. Some flavor of queer. Idk how she became part of the story. Louis the baker she dated is not the same baker as Baker Baker our local baker, they're actually rivals since they work in the same business.

George Seurat: JUST TO CLARIFY I'm talking about the musical version i wouldn't make headcanons for a real life person!! Autistic. He/she pronouns (don't ask just don't.) doggirl in the same way catgirls are catgirls. As I'm writing this I'm regretting all my life choices.

[sisterssafespace]

Salam Sister

Firstly, thank you so much for opening up a space like this- where many of us don't have another outlet or anyone we can turn to for advice/support. May Allah bless you and reward your efforts.

I'm 27 years old, single, and living a somewhat unhappy life at home. Not because I'm not married, but there are alot of other family problems which alhamdilallah, do not concern me immediately. Anyways, I have some independence, but little freedom and privacy. I feel much younger than my age because I feel like I have never really been given any space to grow. I just allow my boundaries to always be crossed and try to be obedient to my parents at all times- even tho the effect of is starting to show.

Also, there was a man I once knew who confessed his feelings for me, and after a long time I confessed too because I couldn't keep living with the secret for so long. Anyways the relationship would be haram and so I never try to encourage it but sometimes it is difficult to hide my feelings which are very strong. I don't contact him and see him as little as possible, but he is all I think about all the time and I just want to feel affection by someone and I feel that this feeling is much more desperate and painful because of my unhappy home life. I also can't keep a job because I can't find anything I enjoy and suffer from depression often. Anyway, this is very long and rambling and I'm sorry. But any advice you can give me I would be so grateful for. I have no one to talk about any of this with. Bless you sister.

و عليكم السلام و رحمة اللّٰه و بركاته 🤍

Thank you for your heartfelt words, jazaki Allahu kulla Khayr ❣️❣️

So I read your ask over two days and I tried to really understand the situation. What I got is that you're not asking me a specific question you're just asking for some general life advice. I have the right one for you in shaa Allah, but before that I have to comment on 2 points:

UNHAPPY: You mentioned a couple of times your 'unhappiness' in your life, in your job, and in your family. I am not here to rename or invalidate your feelings, but I would love for you to think about this 'unhappiness' and to maybe reconsider it. Do you feel unhappy or empty? Also, on the same note, we do not get our happiness from others. That is why we shouldn't link our happiness to others, to people or to things, because the only truth about this life is that it is only temporary, and it s ever changing. You let your happiness depend on someone, what happens when they leave? You expect your family to be a certain way and if they're not, you feel unhappy where in reality, you might be feeling other emotions that you can't name so you put the label unhappy on. Here is a life hack: happiness comes from the one constant in life, the only truth in life that never changes: Allah swt. Happiness is found in the vicinity of Allah. And happiness is for you to create. It is not something you be, it is something you make. You have to make yourself happy regardless of the circumstances. It has to happen within you. It is basically a state of mind. And it is not happiness in the Hollywoodian meaning where you feel butterflies in your stomach and see fireworks, butterflies in the stomach that's anxiety that's not happiness 😅 Happiness is more of a pleasant feeling of ease, calmness, relief, being satisfied with yourself, a soft soothing feeling that washes over you, of reassurance, that even in the worst times of your life you can still calm in your heart and you can still find hope, because your heart is filled with Allah swt and with your faith, and because you believe that no matter what happens you are going to be okay because Allah swt is with you. - And I am telling you this from experience, because you remind me so much of my 27 year old self SubhanAllah, still at my parents house, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. And btw, being single is not a factor in your unhappiness. Having a partner does not make you happy if you do not know how to make yourself happy, marriage does not make you happy if you do not know how to make yourself happy. You can not expect another person or the circumstances to make you happy. YOU make you happy by finding yourself and establishing yourself in the vicinity of Allah swt. In fact, the moment you place your happiness in someone else's hands, you lost your freedom. By You'd be always dependent on that person (or thing, or circumstances) to feel happy, and to survive. And whatever you depend on controls you. That is why as Muslims, we are required to not depend on anyone but Allah swt. To Him we belong and To Him we shall return. To Him we belong, with everything that we are, with everything that makes us who we are, with our dreams and hopes and emotions and fears and happiness.. to Him we belong and on Him only we depend. Alhamdulillah.

Depression: well, you said you suffer from depression often and that's why you can't keep a job because you haven't found something you enjoy. Have you been diagnosed by a specialist? Are you seeing a therapist? Again, I am by no means u validating your feelings but I hope you are not self-diagnosing. Anyways. I will leave it that.

Now, my humble advice for you would be to read. I really can't stress enough how important reading is especially for a girl your age and in your situation. READ. You need to expand your mind, explore new worlds and improve your life with reading. I highly recommend Islamic books, psychology-related books, there is so much to learn about life and about yourself. Obviously, my go-to book recommendation is Reclaim Your Heart by Ustadha Yasmin Mogahed. Every book you read births a new person in you. READ. That's one thing you can never regret in life.

Finally, I pray Allah swt bless you and inspires you to a more flourishing life path my dear. Ameen 🤍

- A.Z. 🍃

[shoezuki]

cracks knuckles. i promised to elaborate and i will.

the one common perspective that everyone seems to be able to agree on is that techno / sbi + schlatt + tubbo + ranboo are just genuinely funnier than the dteam, and honestly yes it's because if the popularity. if you go back and watch the dteams older (im talking before 2-3mil subs) videos they are funnier than their current ones and i think it's because they're trying to shift their humor to a broader audience?

the minecraft community has always been mainly queer/poc/ndv kids because it was exiled away from "acceptable society" for so long that only the people who had already been "exiled" continued to enjoy it. I, as an example, stopped playing when it became a cringy thing because I was so worried about being seen as weird. now that ive discovered, come to terms with, and enjoy my queerness, i realize that if i had known i was queer back when mc was exiled i wouldve continued to play because i alrwady would have known what it was like to be part of that seperate society. (Please keep reading i promise I have a point)

but then minecraft came back. minecraft became mainstream again, and it came back HARD. watching it go from something that you would be bullied immensely for to something that you would be bullied for not doing was an extreme experience. in all honesty im still angry about it, but that's another topic. when minecraft became mainstream it brought with it all of the people that hadn't been part of the exiled societies yk? including... the dream team.

dream blew up. we all know how much he blew up. i personally dont believe he cheated on the speedrun but to each their own (although after reading your stuff and becoming more critical of them im realizing i might need to reexamine that), and the speedrun controversy brought even more people to his base (cough drama loving straight white girls cough).

when they were brought into the fanbase that's when it started to go downhill. they shifted their humor to fit that, or maybe their humor was always that and they just got more confident in showing it after they had gotten a fan base to back them up. which is also why techno / sbi + schlatt + tubbo + ranboo (who ill refer to just as techno&co now because he's the main one but also that's long as hell lmao) are funnier than them!

for one, their fanbases are smaller. now 5 mil is by no means a small number, but compared to dream's 16 mil? yknow. especially with techno's wack upload schedule he's never had to worry about having a stan fan base because the only people who stay are people who genuinely enjoy his content the way it is.

two, techno&co are mostly ndv. techno has adhd, tubbo has dyslexia, wilbur had and maybe still has depression, ranboo has anxiety, tommy hasnt confirmed or denied his adhd but im betting he at least has borderline. i am in no ways saying that being part of one minority (in this case ndv) gives you free range over another (queer), but all minorities have this understanding about what it is to be part of an exiled community (if that makes sense).

philza and schlatt, not so sure if they're ndv, but they're also older and generally more mature and esp in philza's case, theyve had their chance to make their bad jokes and pull stupid shit and theyve grown out of it (if they ever had that phase at all). techno&co have that understanding and even if they dont know where the boundaries are they know that queer humor (and all humor! other than techno, sbi doesnt really make gay jokes) going to have boundaries, and they respect that.

three, techno is the funniest bitch because he has adhd. i dont take criticism on this point because im right.

i probably missed a lot, probably got some stuff wrong, but all in all i think i hit my mark. i can come off anon to chat anytime if youd vibe w that. no pressure to respond to this! have a good day, etc etc, it was fun getting to tear into the dteam in a safe space. respect for them and their fanbases, their humor is a little off but i still gotta respect how well theyve done. btw i woke up and rolled over and started typing I haven't proofed this at all so yeah. :) - andy

And your brain is fucking massive yo like u must got chronic back pain too from holdin up all these Thoughts in ur head

I really like. Minecraft fans is So varied cuz like u said it was so very 'cringe' before. I got into mc again n playin it w my siblings years before it Popped Off again entirely cuz i stopped Giving a Shit that it was 'weird' or any a that. N sbi have been goin strong through it So Long both when it was hotshit and when it was "cringe"

N definitely like minecraft ive always noticed has a Massive ndv community. I dont know entirely what it is like definitely part of the 'cringe' factor like u said and also cubes make our brains go brrrr? The aspect of self expression in it? I dont know but we Been Here

I do think dteam's content and shit like. It obviously moved in sync with perceptions of mc to garner a Big General audience. Dream blowing up entirely had to do w the Trends and how mc got popular. Therefore hes audience is Huge and Varied

In contrast w techno n like. He has blown up quite a bit too. But i feel its fair to say he Hasnt altered his content significantly. Or at least like. How its presented, what he does, etc. For fucks sake he doesnt have a stream schedule. And although his content is Still garnering a Large and really varied audience it feels more like. Isolated and homogeneous almost

Like. I can go into the technocord right now and say 'dont forget to take your meds' and at least 20 or so ppl would be all like Oh Fuck Whoops. Theres SO many of us adhd ppl in there. I always goof bout techno jus sayin pspspsps and the neurodivergents crawling up from the floorboards but honest to god. His content and jokes and i suppose Personality jus appeals to us So Much. Same goes for sbi pretty heavily honestly altho i feel its most evident in techno's most Dedicated fans

Also. Lbr. The people who stay through technos schedules and content Droughts are the ones who be hyperfixating Abskfvdkdsjsjsl

BUT going into sbi as a Group like. They are friends. And together they are fucking hilarious. N i feel it strongly like. The fact theyre all such Varied people of different ages and such helps w that shit. It Works So Well.

Long story short being neurodivergent makes you funny as hell letsgo

[disanddatmedia]

So, normally i would say the connection that you have to family but by the sounds of how your mom is, lets say a good family member/friend that youre really close to

so as I said, a partner should be someone that is like your best friend but with some extra

relationships (of all kinds) can be broken down into 3 parts: friendship, emotional, physical

friendship: this is pretty easy but it essentially being able to get along with, trust in, have some similar interests, and you have some protective instinct (like not wanting them hurt) towards them (at a basic level), you hang out with them at times and talk to them and whatnot, this is pretty easy, you might find yourself hugging them or high5ing them, maybe even dance innocently with at times.

the other 2 build on top of friendship.

Physical: this is a physical attraction towards the person, now to basically sum it up is, this is things that you won't typically do with a blood relative (we are not Alabama, so we aint counting them in this xD, sorry for the bad joke). this has a few grey areas but that is something that gets cleared up by communicating with a new partner about this (like "hey where does 'x' fall under")

emotional: this is the harder one but hopefully you will understand after this. emotional is all in the mind and non-physical interactions. so this is like: interests lining up really well, personalities being compatible (so being able to get along really well and can even play on one another), the protective instinct (wanting to help them, wanting to make sure they're okay, wanting to make sure they safe), wanting to do things for them, you think of them when you're not around them, you miss them (whether that be in person or talking to them) and so on and so on, it basically takes parts of mental and personality parts of a friendship and ups it more

now, you can arrange these to make different types of relationships, so:

friendship=regular friend

friendship+physical=friends with benefits

friendship+emotional=best friends/close family (assuming they are good family, bad toxic family dles not fall unddr here)

physical=causal/one night stand

physical+emotional= crush (not to a friend), well this makes a bad relationship if it doesn't add friendship honestly, you need that friendship part, so ill say toxic relationship if it develops without friendship

emotional= this is the weird one, ill say... family that you're not close to but care for, like you're not going out to hangout with them but if something happen you be sad still

and now, all 3= relationship/partner. When this is reach it expands on all 3 as well.

so love, what the fuck is love then? love falls under friendship and emotional (not physical)

so under friendship, its an platonic love, like that caring for them, enjoying time together, missing them at times, etc. and under emotional, well it actually really needs both friendship and emotional, so it would expand and be more intense for things that a friendship has.

some say that you get butterfiles in your belly and some say you cant them off your mind, and some say its you get reminded of them everywhere, but those dont last forever even if you're in love with them, so lets not think of those, instead lets grab to other things (non toxic trails obviously, im not leading people into a toxic one)

so that person is who you feel very safe around and find comfort in

you enjoy your time with them

you are happy around them (even with depression but its more of a break from depression)

you feel like you can be yourself around them without Judgement

you and your partner are a team, so you both work together to reach your collective and individual goals and help one another/support each other

you flirt with each other (that can be dirty jokes to complements and joking around in ways that are for you two)

you complete each other (i know people say this without explanation so what they mean is if you think of it like if you were writing music and you write something but something is missing, so you think of it and then someone comes along and gives you what your sound has been missing this whole time and you also give that thing that they were missing from their sound so now you both make this beautiful sound that without the other, you wont have known.)

you want to have a future together (whatever that intails)

you want to share your live with them

you want to show them things that you did

you either understand or have similar love language (how you express it and yes you have one too because this can be extended to friends as well at times, so everyone h a love language)

you trust them enough to tell them stuff (includes secrets/trauma stuff)

when something good/bad happens to them you feel what they feel as well

you do things for them/inspired by them

and theres more.

the love language is the way that you should love (romanticly or friendship/family) is how you should said love to them, theres primary ones and secondary ones (i.e. most common and not as common), they are not the same between person to person and they can be different on how its expressed towards different groups, so for me for example some of mine would be ( btw, 'ff'=family/friend and r=romanticly, romanticly will also have parts or include all that are label 'ff' but not the other way around)

sending memes/tiktoks etc. (ff)

helping them (ff)

doing things for them (ff)

making things for them (more R but can be ff, depends on the thing i guess)

"loves ya (too)" (ff)

"(I) love you (too)" (R) (notice that ff has an "s" at the end and uses "ya", its how i differate, im weird i know)

showing music/movies to with (ff, tho while there might be limits on this, R has no limits)

touch (hugs, high5s, fist bumps, comforting pat/hold, basic dancing) (ff)

touch (hand holding, dancing of all types (and will be the first choice always), kissing, etc.) (R)

cooking for them (ff)

staying up super late for/with them (ff)

enjoy talking to them/talk to them alot (ff)

and memories made, which ill explain upon in a bit

anyways, im sure theres more BUT! when in an relationship, the "ff" are very common and are more prominent and the "R" are included (where they may (depending) not be included in a friendship)

if you are to say "I love you" to someone it should feel natural, mind you, the first time saying it to someone/saying it back for the first time can be absolutely terrifying, lots of anxiety, heart pounding, nervous as all hell as you not only await for the response but also say it out loud to them to see how that feels for you yourself and hey if the stars align you get the response you hope for and the feeling you wanted and its like when you beat a really hard boss in a game or when you finally get down that hard song you were trying to learn.

memories, why is this separated? its because it is what makes relationships stronger, you gotta make memories to make it stronger (its really not hard honestly). While it is applied to all types, a relationship itself deepens that feeling of love, and expands even more on all of those trails in each of the 3 parts of the relationship, which means it makes the relationship feel more better than before. Also if one remembers something small or important from awhile ago and show they remember later it can make one feel very special.

now, theres the chemical part of "love". there are 4 main chemicals that is associated with love, funny thing, you can feel these without love, however, when in love these chemicals are easier to reach and easier to combine, this is where the reference "love is addictive/love is a drug" comes from, the 4 main chemicals are: dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin. Also know as: pleasure/reward, satisfaction/importance, enjoyment/pain relief (not strong but a little), and love/connection (also known as the cuddle hormone). being around/talking to this person you love can be enough to trigger any or multiple of these chemicals and if you're having a bad day, being around this petson can help ease the rough day due to the emotional attachment and these chemicals being released when needed to balance out.

(insert the 2 photos talking about these chemicals)

now, you might be wondering "I hear alot of songs that talk about love but I can't relate." And well if you want lets listen to some and well analyze them with this document ive made

-sing your heart out, the trews (song about the feeling of love, like how one would be)

-loveless, said the whale (how love grows)

-man of two minds, the trews (when you crush on 2 different people)

-agape, bear's den (when you fear losing someone you love romanticly)

-perfect, amy hef (feeling like you found someone perfect)

-shut up and dance, walk the moon (the chemical rush of love)

so in summary, love is this magical and confusing thing, where its elements of friendship, emotional, and physical components all together to make all of it stronger and better, its like a best friend that you can be closer to, someone that is like positive family, your other half that without, you dont grow the way that you want to grow (like you learn about yourself and learn new things and have a support system), a physical partner that knows you well and wants to do well by you, an cocktail of strong chemicals that can make people crazy and wonderful, and something absolutely beautiful feeling. I hope that you are able to feel this feeling one day, its wonderful, and if you do feel this feeling, i hope that it is with someone positive and wonderful for you :)

(insert playlist songs to analyze and compare)

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKRwutKPPfjUFLawhNJ_jCSfAs9wxSRzP

[hurricanesunset]

Growing up with parents that went from being very poor to being now somewhat comfortable (we are usually classified as middle class by peers), I understand where op and other comments are coming from, BUT, there's something to learn from both sides. I enjoy minimalism simply because it's one of the main things that agrees well with my depression and anxiety, as well as moving constantly to other places - having to box and unbox a shit ton of stuff is never fun and always very stressful.

That being said, there's no need to throw away all of your spares, unless you're trying to change things drastically. I don't think this sudden transition would work for a lot of people, and I've found myself walking towards it for a few years instead. The thing is, you might start with enough stuff to open a stationary store, but as you use those things, just DON'T BUY anymore unless you're about to be out of this thing. Like, I loved erasers when I was a kid and accumulated my fair share of them until my teenage years, and then I got tired of always having to deal of a lot of stuff and went to use all of the ones that I had before buying more.

Same thing with clothes. I've come to develop a capsule wardrobe for the past couple of years, but before that, I just stayed away from buying new stuff for a few years, unless I really needed something and my older one was getting ratty. And this is one the the things that has helped me the most with my depression, btw. My parents would shame me for donating/throwing away/repurposing clothes that were not going n a state to be used outside of my home anymore instead of just adopting them as homewear. Problem is, on the bad days, there's zero motivation to get out of those unsightly clothes and put something that I can walk to the supermarket in, or just not use straight to bed. I love my PJs too much to use them outside of my bed and putting them on has become sort of a ritual for me to go to bed and have a good night's sleep. So I ignore their shaming nowadays and donate/throw away/repurpose clothes that I wouldn't use in front of other people that are not family.

For other stuff, like books, DVDs and VHS, I do keep a couple that have sentimental value, as well as my comic books and manga because those are a bitch to read digitally, but the rest was just taking up space that I wasn't willing to have to take care of, you know? Besides, if I hadn't used then in the past two years, donation route they go, because chances are that I don't want to see them again or I can find them in digital form, which is something that works really well for me.

And there, there's my sentimental items. I have a small collection of action figures and a BIG collection of plushies, and I would kill anyone who even thinks about touching them. So what do I do about those? I enjoy seeing them around and they work pretty well with my bedroom decor, so I rotate three of each every other month to stay on display and the rest is carefully kept inside my wardrobe, so they're easy to pack, don't give me extra work to keep them clean and don't clutter the space.

lower-income people tend to be “hoarders” and richer people are able to do more “minimalist” living spaces. if u don’t have much, you will hold onto any little thing that comes across your way. you got a new tv, but you still keep the old tv because you know things can break. you keep extra boxes of macaroni and cheese lying around because there will be a week when you don’t have money for groceries. you hold onto your stacks of books and clothes for dear life. those are your assets. physical evidence of where your money’s gone. it’s hard to get rid of it. the bare wall is terrifying when you don’t have much.

[ohok-haley-blog]

Just another rant about how toxic tumblr is

Okay so I’m seriously considering deactivating this tumblr because of how ridiculously terrible it is on here. Btw imma trigger warning this for mental illness, self harm, abuse and suicide

MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A PRETTY/QUIRKY/ROMANTIC FASION THAT PEOPLE SHOULD WANT TO JUMP ONTO THE BAND WAGON FOR

It seriously fucks me over how some mental illnesses are ranked over others. Like seriously I have depression and anxiety and OCD the three mental illnesses that are considered cute or quirky. This pisses me off because it doesn’t only make people with illnesses such as bipolar disorder etc feel cast out but it also makes my struggles feel like they’re not really real. By romanticising mental illness you are being a humongous dick.

Also I would just like to point out that having an eating disorder does not make you pure and beautiful, it makes your hair fall out and gives you huge bags under your eyes and makes you look and feel terrible. I should know. If you are looking up pro ana blogs and shit like that because your ‘curious’ or ‘you just like the look of skinny girl’ then please stop before you get in too deep. Please. And if there are any of you thinspo etc blogs reading this who try to excuse their behaviour by saying “I’m not pro ana this is for my personal use” then please stop because just because you use it for 'personal use’ doesn’t mean others don’t see it too.

Another thing is that you 'grunge’ blogs who constantly show pictures of self harm cuts and pill bottles need to shut the fuck up and stop. My scars are not beautiful. I’m not ashamed of them because they'res nothing to be ashamed of but don’t try to convince me that they will heal over as flowers or some shit I’ve read before. They are a product of an illness, they are destructive and addictive and it’s disgusting to try and make it look like it’s something desirable. Do you know what I actually saw today on this here tumblr.com. I saw a picture of a bottle of pills saying “only in death I can be happy”. Do you have any fucking clue what that does to people’s heads having that sort of shit in their lives. Do you think isn’t beautiful because it fucking isn’t. Waking up in pain in a hospital bed isn’t fucking beautiful. Your mum never looking at you the same way again isn’t fucking beautiful. Not being able to explain to your friends why you havnt messaged them for weeks on end isn’t fucking beautiful. Death isn’t fucking beautiful. You pricks have no clue what your doing.

After seeing that horrendous picture that i saw, just after I saw something even more fucking heart breaking. A text post saying “they hurt you because they love you” WHAT THE FUCK in what way is this okay IN WHAT FUCKING WAY. I have lived through two abusive relationships, one with my dad who was physically and mentally abusive and then a girl who I got very close to who was extremely emotionally and mentally abusive. I’ll let you in on something, they never hurt me because they loved me, they hurt me because they were selfish and they had their own deep routed problems. How dare you say to people that they should continue in abusive realistic ships for love. It has taken me years and years to understand that my dad only hurt me because of his own problems and I’m still in the process of doing that with the girl. Do you have any idea how that could back track someone’s recovery. How physically and mentally harmful that can be. Abusive relationships are the reason I’m so fucked, the reason I’m isolated and the reason I attempted suicide so don’t you fucking dare say that those people hurt me because they loved me. HERE IS SOME SHIT TO CONSIDER: - pro ana and thinspo blogs are ALL toxic and it needs to be stopped - look at what your posting, is it making mental illness look meloncholic or cute? Does it make addiction look exciting? Is it toxic? - don’t post shit like this for notes - USE COMMON SENSE - if you do not suffer from illness then raise the voices of people who do, don’t try to win their empathy - try to spread positivity (I know this post isn’t but I’m just so goddamn tired of seeing this shit) I think I might deactivate my tumblr because of all this I’ve mentioned before. I love the dodie fandom and I love the dank memes™ but it’s all too much. Idk I’ll let yall know (Sorry for such a negative post but I love all of my followers)

[crabnby]

@strawbebbifortransmeds

1. i want to see your source that having gender incongruance directly means you have gender dysphoria. i want to see a legitimate, medically backed source that says "gender incongruence and gender dysphoria are the same"

because here's the thing: you can be trans and not have dysphoria because you have gender incongruence. they are not the same. it's not always an "if, then" situation. seahorse explained it very well above, but i'll restate it anyways: gender dysphoria is the distress (a clinically significant term, btw) that can and often does accompany gender incongruence.

2. did you know that at lower dosages, many medications primarily used for mental illnesses are really good for treating chronic migraine disorder? because i've been on two (10 mg and 20 mg doses) that have absolutely nothing to do w my anxiety & depression for the last 3-4 years. they've honestly saved my livelihood.

so have hormone treatments! we realized (this happened in high school for reference) that a lot of my migraines were triggered by fluctuations in my hormones. so now i take estradiol pills to help keep my hormone levels steady.

also, a lot of symptoms overlap when it comes to illnesses? using my mental health as an example: i do not have bipolar disorder, i have general anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. however, because of the way that my anxiety and depression interact, as well as how my depressive episodes tend to manifest, my doctor has considered switching me to a bipolar medication because it would (hopefully) help w a lot of my symptoms the same way it would for a bipolar patient. enough of my symptoms overlap w bipolar disorder that it makes sense to treat me w medicine meant for bipolar disorder, even though i don't have it!

honestly i could give you so many personal experiences of taking medicines with a different primary purpose. it's not uncommon.

3. accusing """tucutes""" of using transness to make them more fun and quirky just. i find it insulting tbh? most people that you call tucutes are dysphoric, but that shouldn't matter anyways? can you read minds or did these apparent fakers tell you themselves that they're just doing it for shits and giggles?

you don't know other people's experiences. you don't know how they think and perceive themselves. you're not even their doctor? i don't understand why you (and other transmeds) think you can tell people what they are.

tl;dr correlation =/= causation. the argument of "you wouldn't take [insert medication] if you didn't have [insert primary disease treated]!" is tired and flawed. trans people who are non-dysphoric are still trans. either actually listen to us or leave us alone.

Some facts, featuring the anti-trandmed flag by @fuck-cistrenders