#the demon and i

[demonboyhalo]

collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:

even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body

you don't have to brush your teeth standing up

you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering

you don't have to shower with the lights on

if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath

if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria

eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food

you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it

some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them

kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time

if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are

we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it

if you have even a dollar to spare, please consider donating to Alaikum's family.

they're a large family at only 10% of their goal to evacuate, and could use any help you can give!!

[greykolla-art]

Yeah I think you’re in the right place, Al.

[jinxpologist]

just wanted to say that i'm seeing headlines everywhere say "floridians rejected an amendment to secure abortion rights" and that is NOT TRUE.

we voted ~57% to enshrine abortion rights in the florida constitution. amendments for our state require a supermajority, aka 60% to pass. this is bullshit and we were set up to fail.

the entire time, our governor Ron Desantis' officials were pressuring and threatening media outlets for publishing anything supporting this amendment.

don't believe the bullshit headlines. floridians wanted abortion rights.

[mysillycomics]

[fwoosheye]

It really was caused by some very precise wording back when I summoned it, all those years ago. Of course, I don't remember the exact wording anymore, it was a long and convoluted contract, and thirty three years is a pretty long time after all. But there were three key points to our deal:

I would get to live a life of great luck.

The demon would never lie to me.

I would only die after giving the demon my final words and that's when it would take my soul.

I know I've seen it pour over the document from time to time, particularly in the beginning, looking for a loophole. I have done the same to be honest. But it have worked out well for me, and I don't think the Demon have noticed, but it have changed over the years. It used to whisper threats and dark promises of what it would do to me once I spoke, but as time went on, those came less and less. I wouldn't have thought more about that if it wasn't for the first time it saved my life, and I without thinking opened my mouth to thank it. The Demon had covered my mouth with it's hand and said "Don't thank me, I do not want your final words to be of gratitude to me". It had been stalking me for nearly ten years by then, and I was surprised to realise that for the last half of those it hadn't said a single threat, it had only been snarky to me.

It was after that I began to cook extra amount of food and set out a plate for it. I almost laughed at it's face when it realised it was for them, but they ate it, and as grumpy as it looked I could see it's tail wiggle. Do you know how cute a Demon can be when they're trying to act angry and mean but their tail betrays them? It's unreal how adorable it is.

It became a habit after that to cook for two. I think it was trying to insult me once by pointing out a cooking class in the paper, but jokes on them I took the class and I could see on the tail it really enjoyed my progress. Sometimes it even helped out with the dishes afterwards.

It's been over twenty years since then, and sometimes I think it has almost forgotten our deal. It's always with me, but it's threats have turned into advice and even the occasional compliment. I know it ruined the car of the customer who yelled at me, and made the sexistic boss accidentally send his lewd messages to the entire office's mail list, which included some gossip news papers. It really liked the extra spicy devilished eggs I made that night.

But despite it all, I'm getting tired. My body was hurting even before I summoned the Demon, but it couldn't fix the genetical issues, only slow down the detoriation. And having to pretend- no. I'm done with that. I know what I want to do, and what the consequences might be, but I must do it. I have decided what my last words will be, and I have prepared for it, though the Demon was very confused by my purchase. Still, it will find out soon enough.

We're just finishing up a nice dinner with all of the Demon's favorites, and it lazily pushes it's plate to the side, resting it's head in it's hand and smirking at me with half lidded eyes.

"So", it drawls. "Want to tell me what the occasion is?"

It wasn't uncommon for it to ask that after a particularly nice meal – it was it's own way of saying thanks and reminding me of the contract. Usually my respons would be an eye roll or a shake of my head, but this time I nod and get up from the table, hand nervously fidgeting in my pocket. I walk around to the Demon's side of the table, much to their surprise, clear my throat and kneel down as I pull out the small box and opens it to reveal a simple ring of gold. After thirty three years of silence my voice is weak, wobbly and hoarse, but I know they can hear me as clear as day.

"Do you want to marry me?"

The Demon staightens up, looking at me with wide eyes. "Do you realise what you have just done? Your soul is mine now, to do what I please with."

"Yes", I croak out. "But it has been yours for a long time. For years, I kept silent in fear of what was waiting when you would take it. But now those thoughts do not frighten me anymore. Perhaps it has only been my imagination, but you following me is not because of duty anymore, is it?"

I turned my head away as a cough attack overtook me, but I could still hear the Demon sigh. Then I feel them kneel beside me and it's hand start rubbing my back.

I snort and lean into them. "That's fair... Honey."

"You silly, silly human. You better start training your voice then because I do not want to hear you cough after saying 'I do'. And also you better not expect the wedding to be in a church."

“Do you have any last words before I kill you?” snarled the demon. That was 33 years ago and I’ve not said a word since yet it still shadows me, waiting.

[fogmoo]

Lamb to the slaughter

[notherpuppet]

The facility manager returns to the hotel 🏨

[bosspigeon]

so bc i am a Gross Dude my friends i and sometimes rate our burps and my coworker (who is a teen girl) burped in front of me once and i instinctively rated it

so now every time she burps she looks to me hopefully for a rating and bc she has delicate little baby burps i now have to create an entirely new Burp Rating System unique to her bc i rate anything below a 5 and she looks at me like this

[ashidaii]

origin and explanation comic for my One of Us AU!

about 10 years late! but the hype recently inspired me!

[peachdoxie]

horror is always like oh no they're possessed by a demon well what about possessed by an angel? angelic possession is also horror.

[snarkspawn]

did I doodle this mostly so I had an excuse to draw this spite reaction image?

(YES HAHAHA YES!!!)

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Gravity Falls was strange, and the townsfolk even stranger, it seemed.

The twins had been unceremoniously dropped off on the side of the dusty road, the roar of the bus engine fading away as the driver wordlessly drove off without fanfare. The poor man had almost seemed close to tears ever since they had entered the thresholds of this seemingly innocuous town, all too eager to speed off and away while leaving the two children coughing and wheezing in its dust.

It had not even been a full minute since their lackluster drop-off before they became well acquainted with the oddly sociable and irritatingly chatty inhabitants of Gravity Falls. A single conversation with a pair of boisterous policemen already told them all they needed to know about the history of the town, as well as the whereabouts of their Great Uncle Ford.

"The Mystery Shack," the townsfolk had called it. It seemed as though their distant uncle had earned himself somewhat of a reputation amongst the locals. He was the town cryptid; the ever elusive mad scientist that lived in the outskirts of town in this so called "Mystery Shack". No one really knew who he really was; but everyone knew exactly who he was.

So, when the twins found themselves stood hand in hand in front of the rickety old shack, they hadn't really known what to expect when door had swung open with a deafening slam.

He was a strange man, their Great Uncle Ford. He seemed nothing like the cackling looney lab-coated madman they had imagined from what meager hushed information the townsfolk had offered them. It seemed as though the tales of a scientist gone mad that experimented on stray children that wandered into his spooky "Mystery Shack" was but a cruel rumor.

He mostly just seemed unhealthy, to be honest. His sickly, pale frame utterly drowned in the thick red woolen sweater that practically seemed to hang off of his lanky body like a second flap of skin. It made him look almost child-like, like a kid trying on their parents clothes; which somewhat diluted the intimidating effects of his looming height.

Although, the townsfolk's apparent fear of their Great Uncle Ford seemed to have some merit.

For one, Grunkle Ford really didn't seem all too human. He wasn't inhumane, per se; just, not entirely himself, if that made any sense. Looking at him was like looking at an incomplete puzzle; or looking at someone who you remember all your life wearing a hat, suddenly coming to work one day without one, and it takes a little too long for you to remember what is missing.

It was like Grunkle Ford had lost pieces of himself. Somewhere, to someone. His eyes seemed... almost empty. They were a little too dull and a little too opaque, lacking the lively shine of life everyone else seemed to have.

Another thing was that Grunkle Ford wasn't entirely alone. There was... someone else. The twins couldn't exactly pinpoint where, but they could feel its stare, whatever or whoever it was. They could almost feel its stare, a non-existent eye trailing a weird prickling sensation across their skin. The twins recalled the words of one of the townsfolk, a tall bestacled man with haunted blind eyes; although unseeing they could have sworn his gaze never seemed to leave them, as all he said was:

"Don't catch IT staring at you"

The twins had an odd feeling that IT was looking at them right now.

They didn't even notice when the pale bony hand of Grunkle Ford suddenly reached into their personal space, barely registering his words at all, much less the extra fingers that adorned each of his rough, worn palms.

They didn't take the hand.

If the twins had thought the outside of the shack looked decrepit, the inside seemed somehow even worse.

Every inch of exposed wall, ceiling or floor were utterly covered by sprawling symbols, summoning circles, and indecipherable words that seemed to be in an entirely different language than any the twins knew. They overlapped and tangled into one another into big, messy, red splotches of clustered nothings.

There were notes, diagrams on ripped pieces of aged looking paper scattered everywhere, with hardly any room for post-it notes squeezed wherever there was room. Lit and unlit candles were placed absolutely everywhere; either hidden in the dark corners or openly stood in the middle of the floor; sometimes in a circle, sometimes not. The melted fallen wax had coagulated into a hard white mess onto the floor; the smell of cheap vanilla scented candles intermingling with the smell of halloween fake blood (and Dipper was convince there had to be some real blood there, too) to create a sour concoction that stung their noses unpleasantly.

The shack was sparsely furnished with rarely any furniture at all. Not even a couch, the tables and chairs simply pushed to the walls to make more space for the endlessly swirling symbols and pentagrams. The twins were hesitant of stepping on any of the summoning circles, carefully sidestepping the candles and walking over the line of the pentagrams.

The attic, where they would be residing, was not much better.

Maybe they did end up in a mad scientist's house, after all.

[kumzorg]

ooooh how i adore 3d models on 2d pictures im transporting myself there mentally

[iniro]

bgs are hard but at least this makes it easier T_T

[gammagoop]

this the only platform i have to post this joke