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peachybeom · 2 years ago

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Stress Relief ♡

sfw, soobin x reader, college au.

blonde fluffy soobin is so cute ill eat him-

Soobin hurriedly made his way to your apartment, taking the stairs instead of the elevator believing the latter took more time.

He had been trying to reach you for almost a day now but got no response. Growing impatient, Soobin had left you texts and voice notes but unfortunately all of those remained unanswered as well.

Finally giving up on waiting, your boyfriend had contacted your roommate-who was out for the weekend, for the apartment passcode as he made up his mind to go check on you himself.

He punched the code in the machine and anxiously opened the door to look for you. His eyes scanned the living room for a few seconds, until they fell on a huddled figure sitting down on the floor.

You were hunching down, sitting cross legged resting your head gently on the table in front of you. Your eyes were shut tightly while your lips parted slightly letting out soft periodic breaths.

Soobin quietly closed the door before him and lowered himself to your level, he let out a breath of relief and gazed at your soft features before brushing a few wild strands of hair from your face.

You stirred lightly at his touch but showed no signs of waking up, that was when Soobin noticed all the books and pens and crumbled papers that surrounded your sleeping figure, you were even holding a pen between your fingers as you slept.

The smile fell from Soobin's face as soon as it had appeared because he realised how tired you must have been. Your college midterms were about to commence in about two weeks and you were determined to work your ass off for it, even it meant studying vigorously without taking any breaks.

As much as Soobin wanted to support you through this tough time, his resources were limited too as he was a film major and you a medical one. Plus past few months had been hard on him too, constantly busy finishing assignments and reaching deadlines.

Soobin hated seeing you stressed but he had promised to not bother you for an entire month during your midterms because he really didn't want to be a distraction, though he would almost text you daily and occasionally call, to check up on you and your studies.

Though you both weren’t able to talk for long, just hearing your voice once in a while was enough for Soobin to go on.

You time and again reassured him that you were doing fine but witnessing the current situation, it was clear that you clearly were not and had been pulling one too many all nighters.

You gently moved and rubbed your eyes sleepily as the sound of clinking cutlery awoke you to consciousness.

You stretched your arms behind your back and were ready to yell at your roommate for being so loud- when you turned your head and spotted an all too familiar figure in the kitchen.

"Soobin!" You exclaimed loudly, grabbing the boy's attention.

Your boyfriend turned around and raised both of his hands towards his sides, a bright smile appearing on his face as he spoke

"Hi bunny,"

"I'm sorry if I accidentally woke you up, I actually came over to check on you because -"

His words were cut off when you-in a matter of seconds strode across the room and wrapped your arms around his tall body.

"There there, easy tiger" Soobin chuckled patting your hair with his hand.

"I missed you so much" You mumbled, burying your face in his shirt.

"That's why you are wearing my hoodie- the one I thought I had lost months ago" Soobin said in a teasing tone.

"Yeah, it's actually really comfortable, I need to raid your closet more often" You replied, looking up- God you missed his beautiful face.

Soobin laughed before gently breaking the hug between the two of you and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I missed you too baby, I got so worried that maybe you had fallen sick or something because you weren’t picking up my calls or answering to my messages.” He said while caressing your cheek.

You felt a pang of guilt for making Soobin worried like this.

“Sorry, I’d put my phone on silent while studying and did not even realise when I fell asleep” You mumbled.

That’s when he noticed the light bags under your eyes and the pale color of your skin.

"You should take a break Y/N, you deserve it," Soobin said in a concerned tone before placing another kiss on your face.

"Yeah, you're right I really should," You sighed heavily.

"Great! so I'll just finish cooking this ramen, then we can try to clean up the mess that is your living room and have a movie night?"

After having dinner- which tasted so good, even though it was just regular ramen. Soobin let you pick a movie which could help you unwind.

You both were halfway through the movie when your eyes began to drift sideways rather than being on the screen.

It was a good movie, it really was! But whenever Soobin was around you, you could focus on nothing but him. His pretty face demanded attention all the damn time, even if that wasn't his intention.

The movie still had a long way to go but you were growing restless. You extended your arm towards your boyfriend and placed your palm on top of his open one.

Soobin absent-mindedly curled his fingers against yours intertwining your fingers, too absorbed in the movie playing before him.

Next, you raised your other hand and grazed your fingers on his ear, softly pulling down the earlobe. This made Soobin turn to face you, his eyebrows furrowed together in curiosity.

You wordlessly ran a hand through his fluffy blonde hair before running a finger down his nose and giving it a light tap.

"What are you doing," Soobin asked letting out a breathy laugh.

You finally got up to and placed yourself on either side of his knee, strangling him between your legs on the couch. Then you placed your palms on both his cheeks and squeezed them between your hands.

"You are like my stress relief squishy. I want to pull you, squeeze you, poke you and viola all the stress is gone," You answered in a cheeky tone.

Soobin laughed loudly at your answer, his eyes closing and forming cute little crescent shapes.

"Jeez that's one weird way of saying you want to make out with me, bunny."

He then put his hand on your waist pulling you closer to him till your noses touched and whispered,

"Bet a squishy can't to this though,"

Soobin captured your lips between his and you let out a surprised squeak but almost melted under his touch right after, hands now grabbing the soft material of his shirt.

Soobin's mouth travelled down leaving small kisses as he made his way through. One hand teasing the waist band of your pyjama while the other slipping under the oversized hoodie. You let out a sigh of contentment and bliss, taking you away from all the anxieties and worries of the past week.

Holding onto him tightly, eyes closed, feeling him all over you, you realised being close to Soobin was really the best way to relieve stress.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months ago

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WIBTA if I asked my girlfriend to get me a replacement mask?

So I and my girlfriend (both adults) are in a long-distance relationship and live on different continents but visit each other for periods of weeks to months at a time. As background context, my girlfriend is notoriously bad with money - she's owed me over $1500 for half a year now after I covered some big expenses for her when she was unable to save in time, though I've told her there's no particular deadline for giving it back and to just do it when she's able, but she's also borrowed money from her parents, she's paying off a credit card debt, and despite having a full-time job she seems completely unable to save anything substantial and is constantly buying things.

We both like a certain musician, and this shared interest in the musician is actually how we met in the first place and bonded. They've dropped some merch in the past, and it always sold out within 5-10 minutes, and they're borderline impossible to get now unless you a) are lucky enough to find another fan who's giving theirs away, which is super rare because of how hard they are to replace, or b) are willing to fork out thousands of dollars for a resold one on some dodgy site somewhere. One of the merch items I got from one of those drops was a facemask, and my girlfriend has a matching one - I can't remember if it was something I bought for her, since I did that with some merch if I got there in time, or one she bought herself. It became a huge comfort item for me - I'm both autistic and have avoidant personality disorder, so I'm almost always in some kind of mask to hide my face, and this one being connected to a special interest as well as comfortable and a perfect size (and goes with all my clothes!) made me super happy. Last time she visited, we joked around about having identical masks but that it was easy to tell which one was hers because it had makeup stains all over the inside.

As she packed to leave, I mentioned that I couldn't find my mask anywhere and asked if she'd picked mine up as well as hers by accident, so she dug through her bags and said she didn't have it, only hers. I was kinda disappointed but I figured it'd turn up sooner or later so I accepted it, and she flew back home.

A few days later, she let me know she'd unpacked and discovered she actually did have both our masks. I asked her to send it back to me, and she said she would.

Fast forward a few months, I'd asked a few more times, and she always said she would soon. Eventually, when I asked one time, she told me she'd lost it. Her mother had tidied her entire room and she no longer had any idea where either of our masks were. I was kind of frustrated so I asked why she couldn't have just sent it over when I initially asked, and she snapped back that she couldn't afford it, which doesn't make much sense to me because she definitely does have enough to send over a flat envelope, which a fabric face mask would easily fit in just like a letter.

It's been a few months since then and I've been looking and looking for any kind of replacement, but all I can find are knock-off versions that are made from different materials or don't look the same. I did see one resold for like $20 ages ago, so it definitely happens, but it's so rare.

WIBTA if I told my girlfriend I'm expecting her to replace the one she lost even if it's putting more financial pressure on her? I feel really dumb for getting so upset about a mask, but it was one of my favourite belongings and it's genuinely upsetting that it was taken and lost.

To get out ahead of any comment saying it, I have full 100% faith that she did not do it intentionally and she didn't sell it or anything like that. She wouldn't have even thought about the possibility of doing that and I absolutely believe it was an accident and she just grabbed both masks or had been holding onto mine for me and forgotten it was in a bag etc.

#aita #am i the asshole

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wrizard · 4 months ago

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nedving modern au: a long-awaited kiss

talked myself into a tizzy regarding modern ned/jirv au c/o @irvingcoded over on twt here, in which john, pastor, meets ned, architect, during church renovations, and very slowly ruins his own (married with children) life. i couldn't stop thinking about it.

have this! i have edited it not at all!!

“oh, it’s perfect,” john marvels, tracing his fingertips over the tablet screen with reverence. the final window design: a work of art. glass, colour, light – fine angles, sunshine, abstract enough to please the artist in him, a perfect synthesis of contemporary and traditional. john’s guts fizz in delight. he zooms out, then in again, then carefully sets it back on the desk. “it’s going to be beautiful – i can’t believe it, you’ve – you’re a miracle worker.”

edward shifts his shoulders the way he does when he’s flustered, and even goes charmingly pink about the ears. “i’m certainly glad you like it. i’m no painter or anything – most of it was off your sketches, i only made it a bit simpler, is all.”

john’s cheeks ache. he’s grinning, wide and real and easy as anything. he wants to laugh. he’s electric all over. he wants to – shout, or jump for joy, or fling his arms around edward’s shoulders in an embrace. there’s no one around to see them, not here in edward’s tiny office, not after hours; he gives in just a little, letting himself spin once in place.

edward laughs, sweet and warm. it’s a lovely laugh, the sort that carves those long dimples in his cheeks – john’s surprised him again. “it’s just a plan,” he says. “haven’t even found an artist. we’ll have to raise extra funds for the commissioning, but not too much. no need for any bake sales just yet.”

“bake sales,” john laughs, and grabs edward by the shoulders, gives him an enthusiastic shake. “i’ll – i’ll make a hundred trays of brownies, ned, a thousand, i don’t care! it’s perfect!”

that smile – edward’s ducking his head to hide it, the weasel, and john won’t have it, can’t stand to miss the brightness in his eyes, the sparkle that makes him look a decade younger. john lets his arms go. grabs his head instead. edward’s five o’clock shadow bristles against john’s palms as john tips him up to look properly. and – yes, goodness, those dark eyes glitter in the lamplight, the glow of the tablet turned to matching blocks of star-blue floating on deep chestnut-brown.

“you’re brilliant, edward,” says john. “you’re – oh, you talk such nonsense about yourself, you’re – brilliant. you’re a gift. god sent you to me as a gift.”

edward’s grin falters. his gaze darts back and forth between john’s eyes.

they’re very close together.

the giddiness swirling in john’s belly swoops up into his throat. edward’s lashes are so dark against the fairness of his skin. john ought to bother him to come out hiking again, soon. get some colour back into him. some of that light. all the warmth that’s inside him, burning, hidden under dark circles and deadlines and all those bizarre coffee drinks.

“john,” edward breathes, strangely.

john sways in closer. it feels – natural. easy. edward is so warm in his hands. this is what friends do, john thinks; they touch each other. he’s seen it. he remembers how george kissed edward on both cheeks, and how edward laughed and shoved playfully at george’s arm, not the sort of shove to push someone away but to bring them closer. what would it feel like, to kiss his cheek? what if –

tipping edward’s head to one side, john presses his lips to edward’s cheekbone.

it’s a peck, is all. a way to siphon off a fraction of the joy bubbling up in john’s lungs, his veins, his heart. an expression of the love he bears his friend. stubble pricked a bit at his lips, perfectly; edward was, of course, soft beneath the sharpest bits, and almost fever-hot against john’s mouth.

edward makes a tiny, quiet noise in the back of his throat.

“a miracle,” murmurs john, and, bowing to the sudden urge – no one to see them – no one to know – he dives in again, presses his face to the other side of edward’s, harder, deeper, nuzzling in, and this time when he pulls away he’s distantly surprised he isn’t shaking.

slow and careful, edward raises his hands up. wraps his long, slender fingers around john’s wrists. he’s staring. he’s staring at john. he’s breathing too quickly. his eyes are wide, but he blinks, a few times in a row, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

all at once, the words slip out of john’s mouth: “i prayed for you.”

edward’s thumb caresses the back of john’s wrist, and his brow furrows. “i’m fine, john, we’ve talked about this–”

“no, no, i, i prayed for you,” john insists, fingers tightening over edward’s face. “i asked for – a miracle. and then the next morning you showed up. you’re – he sent you, to fix this, to help me, and i…”

like a magnet, like gravity, john is pulled in. their noses brush.

john – kisses him.

it’s a peck. again. small. simple. friends do this, he knows, he’s seen maggie kiss her friends a thousand times, and edward is his best friend, his only friend, maybe, or at least the only person who’s ever made him feel so real, so himself. lips to lips. quick in, quick out.

he pulls away, pulse roaring. there is space between them again. not much. just enough for breath.

edward holds john’s wrists. his eyes have slipped closed. he looks – pained. like a martyr in an old masterwork. his lips are open. his lips are wet. his lips –

john kisses him.

john kisses him, and doesn’t pull back.

#nedving #john irving #edward little #wriz writes

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iisasarcasticlittleshite · 2 years ago

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Ticking Time Bomb (Fem!MCXBeel/Belphie)

This was requested by a friend of mine, and I figured I'd post it.

MC occasionally has a hell of a time on her period, and the brothers now have a protocol to make life as easy as possible <3

Fuzzy comfort fic with the twins, happy reading :)

One would think, that in the home of Seven Demon Lords, the little human would be the less frightening of the bunch, at least, to the naked eye.

On most days, one would be right to assume MC the most harmless of the bunch. Master of them all or not, she's not as quick to anger as Satan, or as sadistic as Lucifer.

Most days, she's the diplomatic eye of the storm, but every now and again, mother nature will turn their sweet human into a beast to rival Cerberus in ferocity.

It doesn't happen every month, sometimes, her bleeding will come and go and no one will be the wiser except for the occasional wince from the poor human. However, once in a while, their sweet human becomes an absolute demon.

It starts with a warning, her scowl in the mornings that doesn't lift no matter how much coffee or sweets she's handed. Nothing can make her smile before ten, and even then, it's an effort.

When this happens, the brothers all brace for impact, because they know none will be safe, except the two lucky exception.

The twins.

Beel and Belphie are the only two demons spared, not even Diavolo is safe from saying the wrong thing around MC when she's just downright miserable.

"MC, I seem to have misplaced those documents you sent me, would you be so kind as to fill them out again?"

Normally, Diavolo's request would be met with a quiet sigh at worst, perhaps a light-hearted eye-roll and a warning that she wouldn't be able to get it done so quickly.

On Death Week?

"I'm up to my ears in school work, find the old ones or get my deadlines extended." She snipped, not outwardly rude but...short tempered, in a tone that warns Diavolo that she's not in a giving mood.

"I, see." The prince casts Lucifer a pleading look, begging for help because he's got a habit of putting his foot in his mouth when it comes to MC during Death Week, six months ago, he'd received a glare so lethal it chilled his very bones.

The other brothers cast each other glances, Asmodeus pulled out his calendar, and winced, quietly confirming what many already knew.

Sadly, Lucifer didn't catch the warning soon enough, and planted his heavy foot firmly on the wafer thin ice of MC's patience.

"Watch your tone, MC, or you may find your deadlines shortened instead."

It would have been a poor choice of words at the best of times, MC never took well to Lucifer's "discipline", and it showed, as she fixed him with a look to melt the flesh from a shadow-hog's bones.

"I fucking dare you, Lucifer."

The eldest's eyes went wide, and his brothers' panicked (and Asmo's frantic waving of his DDD's calendar) soon reminds him.

Satan clears his throat, eyes darting to one of the only demons with the capacity to save them from the fury boiling under the human's skin.

She's doing her best, they know she is, she's still their beloved MC, and she'd grin and bear the pain and roiling hormones if they let her, but watching her struggle to make a coherent thought past whatever haze she's stuck in is downright painful.

Beel is quietly shuffling to his feet, Belphie close behind him, and as the sixth born offers his hand and a sweet smile, the tension in MC's shoulders melts.

Diavolo is already writing up excuses for three absences while Beel has quietly scooped up MC and carries her wordlessly out of the room, with Belphie holding open the door for him.

"She must be incredibly uncomfortable, for it to affect her so." Barbatos mused in their wake. "I'm glad I restocked the herbal tea she likes."

Lucifer nodded his agreement, still shaking off the glare his human sent him. Is this how his brothers feel?

As the meeting carried on in their wake, the twins got MC back to the House of Lamentation, and began the regular process of spoiling their human when she needed it most.

Beel set her on his bed first, placing the gentlest kiss to her forehead as he set her down.

"You don't need to do this every time." She muttered bashfully, hating that she can't make herself be normal at times like these, it's like her body conspires against her. "I can handle it."

Beel's big hands, roughened with callouses, cup her cheeks, lifting her chin so he can kiss her forehead again, his words a soft whisper against her skin. "We know you can."

"You shouldn't have to." Said Belphie, making his way to the bed with a set of her comfortable clothes that she always left in their room. "As fun as it would be to watch you bite Lucifer and Lord Diavolo's heads off. We are not going to sit and watch you struggle through the day when we can do something about it."

Beel pulled away, replaced by Belphie's knowing hands helping her out of her uniform while Beel left for the kitchen to get snacks.

Belphie's warm lips chased his hands over every new exposed patch of skin, kisses that raised gooseflesh down her arms long after he's replaced her uniform with soft cotton.

He changed himself, and slid into bed beside her, letting her settle however she was comfortable before curling around her, long fingers finding their way under her shirt to press warm palms to her lower belly.

"Does it hurt?" He asked softly, mindlessly tracing patterns over her skin. "Sometimes it doesn't, right?"

MC nodded, wondering if she's turned two of the Devildom's highest ranking demons into menstrual experts.

"It got worse the more I moved, my legs feel...treacherous."

One hand wandered away from her soft belly, down to her thigh, gently needing the plush skin beneath her shorts.

"How exactly does anyone expect you to function like this?" The seventh rasped, already half asleep, lazily snuggling into her back, breath tickling her neck in that gentle rhythm that lulled her tumultuous body into rest. Slowly, tight muscles began to unwind and release, toes uncurling as she pressed her back into his chest.

Still, she couldn't sleep, her fingers tangling and untangling the golden sheets until Beel tip-toed back into the room, arms completely laden with food that did not fit on the bedside table.

She smiled at the gentle giant as he held out two of her favourite snacks: one savoury, one sweet.

MC took her pick, and lifted her head so Beel could sit up beside her, his thigh serving as the perfect pillow.

He flicked on the TV, letting it drone on in the background as he occasionally fed her or Belphie from his own snack pile.

In these moments, MC could want for nothing, for when a cramp did strike her hard enough to make her breath hitch, Belphie was already rubbing away the pain, Beel's fingers stroking her hair to distract her as wave after wave rolled away.

She had nowhere to be, nothing to wish for but for her two sweet demons, lovingly dotting on her without judgement. They know she could handle herself just fine, they know she's done it her entire life, and she'll likely do it again, but for now, neither of them is willing to let her go through that pain alone.

#obey me x mc #obey me x female mc #obey me beel #obey me belphie #beel x mc x belphie #obey me twins x mc #beelzebub x mc x belphegor

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blitzyn · 2 years ago

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Thoughts on modern Jock!Childe ? This au lives in my head rent free and iusudgdbjchdhdjchcbcksg

HELP I WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS I KINDA FORGOT THAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE JOCK CHILDE. i hope this is ok though. if it's not u can request something else/the same thing and ill try my best to come up with something more related to what u want. also!! i wasn't sure if you wanted nsfw or not so i just kept it sfw

gn!reader

> I can see him playing American football or hockey, truthfully. He enjoys the thrill of dangerous body-to-body contact and fast paced gameplay.

> He, surprisingly, knows how to play various other sports, too. He may not be the best, but he is well informed on the rules and the general idea of how to play. Just give him about 10 minutes to get the hang of it, and it'll be like he was born for that sport.

> He devotes a lot of time on his primary sport, but always makes sure he does his school assignments. Alongside with his desire to be the best in his sport, he also strives to be phenomenal academically, even if the work he turns in isn't the very best sometimes.

> Now! Childe isn't one to focus on romantic relationships very often. He doesn't believe he has a need for one. He's got enough attention in his school as it is. He's confident he could find someone in record time with the sheer amount of fans he has, but he also doesn't want to waste his time on someone if they don't truthfully like him and only view him as a trophy to flaunt.

> But that's also where you come in! It took him a while to get to properly know you, much to his delight. Don't get him wrong, he enjoys meeting new people and the small talk it brings, but he prefers the challenge of figuring out someone's quirks and habits before they tell him.

> You had also treated him like he wasn't a star student-athlete, and more like a friend. Like his status in school didn't matter. Although that was later into your friendship; you had spoken to him rather coldly at first.

> He was interested in how you so easily ignored the envious glares of particularly obsessive supporters when the two of you were chosen to be partners during a project one time. In previous experiences, some of his partners took it upon themselves to do most – if not all – of the work, leaving Childe with the sole job to present in front of the class. You did no such thing. You made sure to cut the workload in half between the two of you and kept it upon yourself to remind him of the upcoming deadline and to produce good work.

> He appreciated how you treated him like an equal, even if it was a bit harsh.

> And then came the dreaded time when a specific project required one of you to head to the other's house in order to properly complete it. You knew he had quite a number of admirers, but you'd never realized some of them would go so far as to begin threatening you (most of which you knew were empty), or even resort to going physical in order to instill fear.

> Of course, you never took them seriously. After all, they were diehard fans that would forget about Childe as soon as school was over. Although it did annoy you how they disrupted your routine for the sake of their own satisfaction.

> One fateful day, as you were making your way towards Childe's house after you had to go back to yours to grab something, two obsessive admirers managed to spot you. At first, they were easy to ignore, but they had very quickly resorted to shoving you to the floor when you refused to give them the reaction they wanted.

> Luckily, you weren't too far from Childe's house, and he managed to spot you from one of his windows. You'd never forget the looks on their faces when they saw him walk up with a cold, unamused, and almost angry glint in his eyes.

> After they had left, he insisted on buying you something in return for having to deal with those types of people because of him. He really was sorry!

> You begrudgingly accepted his offer, and went on a 'date' with him.

> It took quite a while of you denying your feelings for him for you to finally admit that you did, in fact, have a crush on him. Although it wasn't during a desired moment (it was while you were playing a game of truth or dare), it felt relieving to reveal what you had felt for so long. You were very glad to know that he felt the same.

Now, more about your relationship!

> You were very surprised to hear that Childe had been talking about you to his family. Even though it was your first time meeting them, it seemed as if you were an old friend to them.

> Loves to give gifts. You have no idea how he makes so much money to buy you things you've always wanted or even things you lingered your gaze on for more than five seconds. It always makes you feel a little bad since you don't give him anything very often, but he reassures you that all he needs is your smile. And a kiss.

> Very affectionate, too! There is not one moment where he doesn't at least have a hand on your body. It's even worse – or better, depending on how you see it – in private. Hugs you all the time. He does understand if you're more reluctant with physical touch, though. He asks for permission every time he wants to hold you unless you specifically tell him you're okay with it.

> Has a death grip when he's asleep. Once you're in his arms, you're stuck there the entire night. It'll take either you being stronger than him or some miracle to tug yourself out of his hold. It's kind of become a problem that you had to learn to accept.

> Loves kisses. He plants them everywhere - your forehead, cheeks, lips, neck, arm, anywhere where there's skin showing. It's mandatory to kiss each other before one of you leave the house. Even if you're only leaving to get the mail.

> I see him as more of a competitive arguer. A lot of the time, you two only argue about small things like where the TV remote goes or who's making dinner that night. But in the infrequent instances where you are genuinely arguing, he can't help but go on and on until he gets the last word.

> If you buy him a piece of jewelery, he always makes sure to kiss it after he takes it off in the locker room before a game. It's his good luck charm!

> Enjoys showing you off, but tones it down if you feel uncomfortable about it.

> He finds it hilarious when you try to squirm away from him after a victorious game. You whine and shout about how sweaty he is, but you're more than happy to give him his kiss. Most of the time.

> Occasionally waves to you when he gets the chance during his games. He loves seeing the smile it brings to your face when he does so.

Super sorry it's short, I ran out of ideas lol

#male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader #childe x reader #modern au #jock childe #genshin impact childe #genshin impact drabble #childe x male reader

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byoldervine · 3 months ago

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A Nomad’s Wanderlust

Trudging through the forest was a challenge for certain, but not one the charcoal-haired woman couldn’t handle. The foliage crunched under the soles of her hiking boots as her sharp grey eyes scanned the horizon for any signs of life beyond the trees and greenery

In her deathly pale hands, a hunting knife was slicing at a stick, peeling off thin slivers of bark like prepping a carrot for a stew. A nervous habit of hers, whittling; she liked to keep her hands busy, and extra wood always had its uses. Back home she’d use the slithers as kindling in the hearth. A much more productive use of her time, but one she’d have to do without for… well, she didn’t plan on going back any time soon, so the question was left hanging in the air

How long had it been now? Two years since she left? Three? It all seemed to blur together in a haze of seasons and settlements. She’d been many places in this time; Paracosm was only so big in truth, after all, and she was almost convinced that time worked in mysterious ways here. Of course, there was no use in a mortal questioning the will of a god, so she never bothered to dwell on such things

The sun was setting now; she could see the streaks of red and orange on the horizon, like the sky itself had been set aflame, set to darken into an ash black blanket over the realm once it had burnt out. While she normally didn’t shy away from ashes, she didn’t fancy the cold of night, and wondered if she might find shelter before that inevitable deadline forced her to set up a meagre camp once again

But luck was on her side that evening, and just as streaks of twilight began to snuff out the blazing skies, a dirt path lead her way to a distant silhouette of buildings beyond the trees. Following it guided her towards farmland, and beyond that, when the dirt underfoot turned to cobble, a sign proudly displayed;

WELCOME TO WAROSA

Warosa? She hadn’t realised she’d ventured so far as to enter Taverus. Still, it was a town, and towns meant inns. She’d saved up some money since the last time she’d found a village to perform odd jobs in; only a few coins, but she thought she’d earned herself a bed and a hot meal by now. Perhaps in the morning she could return to those farms and seek out work to make up the difference. She’d never fancied herself a labourer, but she was strong and precise in ways it seemed various others were not, and it made earning a day’s fair wages easy enough. Anyone doubtful a woman could manage such heavy lifting had to look only at her considerable height and the muscles visible on her exposed arms to be reassured that she would manage the task just fine

It didn’t take long to stumble upon an inn, likely set up near the town’s entrance with the intention of luring in passing travellers. It certainly worked on her, and she changed course to the front door, pushing it open to the tune of the tinny brass bell overhead. Yes, a night of sleep would do her good, then a trip to the farm to look for work. It would be wasteful not to take advantage of the opportunity to replenish her cofferage, after all

And as night turned to day, that’s just what she did; with a rested body and a full belly, she was put to work hauling haybales and feed barrels and pails of milk. Anything heavy quickly became her duty in assisting the gently aging farmer, just as she’d anticipated. What was a trying struggle to the man was an easy enough load for her to carry on her broad shoulders, an arm securing it in place

In addition to the promised coin, the farmer also provided her a meal, and she was in no mind nor position to turn it down. It was a simple affair, but a hearty one; a hot stew made from the farm’s produce

“It’s good to not be wasteful,” the farmer had said as he ladled out their servings. She was inclined to agree, and savoured each mouthful, letting the flavours simmer on her tongue

“It’s nice to have someone else to cook for. It hasn’t quite been the same on my own.”

“There will always be others,” she assured, taking care with her words. She knew she wasn’t exactly the most empathetic woman in the world, but that didn’t make trying any less important

“I know, and you’re welcome back any time, dear,” the farmer smiled, wiping a few droplets of stew from his lightly greying beard. “There’ll always be work and a natter here for a strong, hard-working girl like you.”

He then leaned forward, looking up at the taller woman with curiosity. “But what are you in town for, anyhow?”

“Only travelling,” she answered, and it was the truth. She could hardly lie, after all. He nodded along, intrigued

“Ah, of course; young thing like you would want to see the world. Anywhere you plan to go next, or just seeing were the road takes you?”

“I haven’t any plans. Perhaps I might roam the kingdom more.”

“A good idea,” he hummed, taking another mouthful of stew before he responded again. “Make sure you don’t miss Kettringham, if you want to go everywhere.”

Kettringham? She’d heard of that village; isolated within the forests surrounding Taverus as if cut off from the rest of the kingdom. It was one of the few places she’d never been

As if noticing her consideration, the farmer chuckled. “I’ve put the idea in your head now, haven’t I? I’ve been down that way, once or twice; lovely little place. Mostly warlocks and mages and such down that way. A few elementals, a few fae. Worth a look, if you fancy it.”

She nodded at that, her mind made up. “Then I suppose I shall head south. Gratitude.”

“Not a problem, Miss Kennedy.”

#weekly one shot poll #weekly one shots #tales of the zenith realm #one shot #writing #writers #writeblr #bookblr #book #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writers of tumblr #writer #creative writing

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plasticfangtastic · 1 year ago

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Can we Be Lonely Together? Ch.9

A Homelander X Staker! Reader fanfic

this is also a Supe! reader fic, GN neutral but male leaning in all honesty. Prev. chapters in the #my fic tag and #can we be lonely together? tag on me blog. this is a slow burn fic

Author's Note: might not be able to post the next ch. 'til next wk due to work and a dire need to work in my main WIP (so behind my writing goals for this project) might log on tumblr on a computer for once to just put a link of the prev. eps for the final chapter.

R18+ slow burn, smut, urolognia mention, Rape mention, gore, cannibalism, child abuse, child death, long chapter.

Chapter 9

We don't forget

Whether it was your first, first in a long time or last time– the way you held a cigarette in your hand appeared fitting, there was an air of misplaced elegance to your mannerisms… in the way your smoke drew cryptic symbols in the air.

Watching your hand was a lot more hypnotic than Homelander anticipated, it was an easy distraction from that thousand yard stare in your eyes.

He had seen that look once before.

He could smell that memory vividly, it had perturbed him the most– even if it shamed him to admit. The name and appearance had faded but he still remembered the silence, and those eyes. Even as he ripped hands clean off the wrist, there was no whine, no cry-- just a huff. As if whatever being that once lived inside this person had already departed long before Homelander had decided to entertain himself for the evening with these unlucky sods who decided to rob a store that autumn now leaving an empty husk. Homelander astounded as he peeled him clean, removing the jaw after breaking it in a dozen pieces, but the man simply failed to respond, gargling, and gasping as his lungs flooded, dying seconds after.

Panting, finding the foreign blood bitter on his tongue.

His eyes watched Homelander much like yours did now, your mouth ajar awaiting to put the lit cigarette in your lips once more.

You had died a long time ago… way before you ever met.

Homelander was simply a new bullet in a once empty gun.

You had become a walking corpse the moment he brought you inside his penthouse, you just kept imitating the living, he wondered if he would be in this place watching your hand just to avoid your creepy emptiness had he listened and kept his hands to himself, if he had let you choke on your blood that night instead of pursuing merriment.

In all certainty he was unsure as to why he allowed you to continue your “disposing”, he even got inside your vehicle as you drove to this dilapidated warehouse space that once inside hosted a pop-up restaurant, finding your vehicle so cramped but no amount of sass and complaining got your attention.

He should’ve stayed inside the car letting this take place somewhere else but Homelander followed after you– not wanting you to run away (not that you could ever get further enough) but it was the sentiment that would offend.

Dolores had jumped and picked a knife instinctively at the sight of him but the mortal deity simply glared and bore his fangs, making the cannibal turn meek, she stared at her knife that might as well have been made of glass– completely useless against Homelander. She shook her head and dropped it.

As soon as you deliver the goods and sat on the silver counter top to watch her work it was back to business, unlike you Dolores did threw poorly concealed worried glances at his direction, her heart rate severely elevated and her bladder building pressure down her nether regions but she continued to work, fearing their guest but ultimately committed to meeting her deadline.

At the sight of you, she offered an untouched box of cigarettes plus a glass of milk to their executioner– simply mentioning that his breath had a rich aroma of 2% milk, in fact she could smell it simmering in his stomach juices from when he had pour more milk on his tea and in his digestive track.

He sat on the bench beside you crossing his ankles awkwardly holding his cape on one hand, watching you drift away, watching as the chef prepped, covering what once had been his teammate in softened butter for dry-aging, you pointing at things and analyzing her techniques, re-assuring her that the menu was perfect, as she prepared sauces.

He was surprised when the spoon came to his face, a rich yuzu heavy reduction, he could feel the tang on the back of his throat– that had managed to spark some color in your eyes, your skin had become duller by the minute, but as his lips wrapped around the spoon he was glad to see some color on your chest, so he played along there was no need to argue with nutters.

In all truth the magic had faded, you had once been so beautiful but now he no longer recognized you, without the carefully constructed facade and manufactured responses, this was the real you… the real you was ugly. The way your eyes sank and your lips didn’t bother to take shape as you slurred your words depressed Homelander, he looked back at the kitchen. This was after all a funeral service for a lover… it had cost him dearly, something that would make him lose sleep one lonely night in the future, perhaps. As he watched you become pure misery, he had nothing nice to say about his own… Homelander was anguish and loneliness incarnate… pitiable if you dare, on the other side there was your misery and sequestration… but he couldn’t feel genuine empathy… none that he could believe.

Now he understood the morbid reasoning behind your attraction, you saw somebody who could understand what it was like to be born alone, that's why you seeked him so desperately, why you had lied to the point you’ve become a parody of what Homelander had always seeked.

“How did you end up like this? You know why I’m like this… you saw the videos.”

You bounce awake to the sound of his calm cadance, this was the tone he used with the press so often, it was upsetting knowing it was used against you.

Snuff.

All you could compare those videos was snuff, at any corner you expected him to be raped just to put the cherry on this yucky sundae. Certainly in all your years of life you had encountered horrific memories, private horrors, all manner of depravities and awful thoughts from the ones holding the knife and their human pin-cushion, all manner of creative abuse had crossed your mind unwillingly.

But they were strangers, not the man who put his gloved hand on your thigh.

A man’s voice jabbering on a shitty mic.

A little boy no much older than six.

A pool of boiling water.

Emerging covered in blisters and blind but neither disfigured nor dead, he would come to heal fully after a couple weeks.

Another man’s voice on a shitty mic.

Little boy is now eleven.

Welded restraints holding him placed on a thick concrete slab, on the other end an unmanned vehicle holding two crash test dummies.

Same little boy covered in rich purples and three busted cars getting dragged off screen, each one increasing in size-- a rubble of metallic matryoshkas.

Little boy cried until his voice had all but gone leaving a pained squeak.

By all accounts it was a miracle this little boy had grown relatively well adjusted, the other boy took it like a champ when John no longer could, that hateful glare that fit so well below his brow took the 4x4 head on.

Your least favorite was the first big test… the lung test. Just how long could a four year old hold his breath underwater?

“I was six when my powers manifested. I learned my school principal had a weird hobby of putting cameras on the little girls restroom– but ‘cuz I was a kid screaming about voices in my head nobody cared, thinking I had schizophrenia until my parents remembered they’ve given me Compound V. None believed me… until I showed them, and then they got mad at me because he was a good man– a church going man! He worked in charities, parents and kids alike loved him– it had to belong to somebody else!! So his daughter smashed my head with a stapler and called me a liar.”

You smiled at him with a smile that only existed beneath your nose.

“My parents abandoned me for three weeks just to get a break, the cool powers that would make them thousands, reflected back at them and spat venom… no Vought trainer could figure out why I couldn’t control it. I lost like 10 kilos in those three weeks ‘cuz I was nine and didn’t know how to cook. If I didn’t peek into my neighbors mind I wouldn’t have figured out how to use a can opener– mind you they locked me in the basement with just some cans, water and a bucket. I swear I can still smell my fermented shit.”

He offered the sauce spoon at you, watching you fail to register the labor behind the homemade spicy sauce.

“My foster parents… well… I ran away for a reason. Then I met… Kent, he told me after he freed me from my confines “Either cry or learn to be apathetic to the world” So I learned to stop caring… learned to know that nobody in the world would get what it was like to understand God”

Homelander raised his brow retreating the spoon away from you.

“He must be overwhelmed… to hear everyone's prayers, never knowing silence since he made us… I would stay away from us too if I could”

“You think you’re God?”

You scuffed taking a long puff.

“No? But I guess I understand him.”

A deity, he was perfection incarnate but as he stood staring down on earth holding his breath while strolling on the moon watching the bleached cloth that once copied the flag on his cape, the world had looked so beautiful– his eyes stung thinking of crying without permission, scratching a thin layer of frost off his chin as he rubbed his eyes just to stop himself, to Homelander God stayed silent so he could watch his creation in awe. The people made it ugly, but he had to admit it was beautiful, as he got closer the sounds returned but you couldn’t escape into space for some peace and quiet, only learning to silence it all to sleep without ripping your hair from exhaustion.

If Homelander had your powers he would be God… there would’ve never been a doubt in the heart of this man-made lab tulpa.

“Not with your paranoia”

“Learn to mind your business, darlin’” He pointed at you, almost growling.

You scuffed, a muted chuckle from between your teeth, sliding out the counter burning your cigarette on your thigh, not flinching as it burned.

He watched you march outside knowing he could catch up to you in a few seconds.

“When you kill Y/N would you let me cook her? Y/N said that I could use them to make our favorite dishes… it would mean a lot to us if you enjoyed the meal.”

Dolores spoke as she moved to an elephant– hanging by a hook was a carcass its feet bound and pierced by garish chrome, split in halves, emptied of organs and its skin flamed to remove unwanted hairs, head and genitalia had long been removed, no much resembled humanity beside its general shape, she carved using a deboning knife to remove one of the arms swiftly off its socket, the skin squelched letting go with a sticky sound– he pictured you like that.

He had hanged you, piercing your talons with a hook and gutting you clean, watching as your face hid behind the spilling mass of your lower intestines.

He hurled into his mouth.

“You’re sick” red flared in his eyes– "I'll kill you too, once you’re done gentrifying cannibalism with the rest of the Sawyer family!”

“One last service it is.”

He took off trying to hide the weird embarrassment from his reference, he had no energy for quips or sardonic wit.

He found you leaning against a metal pillar, you didn’t turn just focusing in the mind of a passerby, and the homeless living beneath in the pipes

“Together we could’ve been God made whole.”

His hands unusually wrapped around your hips, his gloves falling around your ankles resting his cheek against yours.

You turned your head slightly taking a deep whiff of his cologne-- he could smash your spine perfectly clean in this position.

“I complimented you?”

“Your powers didn’t upset me. I would be creeped out at first… weary for a long time but eventually… it would be nothing but another part of you… like the color of your eyes… proof that you belonged to the better group.”

His jaw clenched caught in the what if’s, running after a picture of a stranger than wasn’t either of them, the first time he’d read “Love in the time of cholera” he hadn’t understood the lead, but as he grew older, the more that lover one could long for fifty years became less of a stupid fixation for somebody to have but something relatable. Those women had been Madelyn and Maeve, but then you came.

A hope.

Hope that he didn’t need to long for anymore, here it was… it was you who had longed for him all this time before you ever saw him, he told himself that as he remembered the way you cuddled him in your sleep, your grip squeezing him with all your strength– you had been a warm blanket during winter, Homelander rested to the sound of your breathing both had held each other so desperately, the way your eyes stared at him as he bit half moons into your skin and all he received was caresses and kisses as if he was the one hurt.

Turning around to rest your head on his shoulders, poking your cheek against the golden eagles, you spoke.

The sound of a fish tank filter inundated his apartment. Most of the house is dark, unnevely illuminated by different sized fish tanks. We stared at each other from opposite sides of his kitchen, he had a nervous look in his eyes, all of his bravado had washed away as he gulped, he looked pale and ready to hurl, he was ready to piss and shit himself as one of his many amateur films played on my phone.

“You help me, or that ends up on the front page of every fucking porn site you can imagine. I would spam the fuck out of it on twitter… heck I’ll make it look like you posted it too, Kevin.”

He looked at me with very big eyes and stuttering lips.

“I need you to go to the archives and get me photos of these boxes… open them and take photos of the contents too” I slid him a piece of paper– you got ‘til the morning to get these files, or I’ll destroy you.”

“I know I put a lot of pressure to you at work but we can work this out—

His mind was incoherent, at this level of nerves there really was no point in unscrambling his thoughts, but I was impressed nonetheless by his capacity to try to negotiate with this sinking ship.

“Listen, I like my job… I’m not doing this because I hate you– I’m doing this because I have the most shit on you, and you’re a member of The Seven meaning you have access to areas of the building I don’t. Nobody will think there’s anything weird if the head of Crime Analytics goes into the archives, either. I’m just threatening you ‘cuz you do overwork me, you owe me overtime and you can finally be useful at your job. So after this is done, I’ll delete all copies of the video and make sure my associates do so as well… it's not like you can kill me.”

He looked at the slip.

“What is it?”

He knew very well that you and I had something going on based on your past lil’ requests, Homelander. He was smart enough to know not to touch or it would be his head on a spike.

“This is in the lab's archive! They might think– he continued asking.

“Not my problem. Just don’t let Homelander get a whiff of this… or he’ll kill you too. Fuck he might flatten all of New York afterwards”

That got his attention real bad, his nerves scrambling his mind further; his mind might as well have been eggs in a microwave .

“Wait, what does Homelander have to do with this!?”

“The less you know the safer you are.”

He believed me, when it came to you he wouldn’t doubt it was dangerous for his health.

“How do I know you’ll delete the video… not going to ask how you got it… you hacked my phone, no?”

“Make sure to change your password on a regular basis.”

We didn’t make any eye contact as I left, I heard him scrunch up the piece of paper and then scream and trash his kitchen after I closed the door.

I left, you’ve returned to the tower suspecting nothing. You noted there was something keeping me quiet, and blamed it on well… dinner.

You did your best to get me talking that night, but I barely gave you attention, my mind and heart heavy, you thinking it was ‘cuz somehow I’ve figured out you been getting your dick wet with Firecracker pussy, which was true but unrelated at the time– while you been bumping uglies with your new fangirl did peeved me, I wasn’t concerned. She was just another looney looking for good PR and cheap ways for advancing her career, she was pretty, energetic, had a great personality and great tits so obviously the heads at Vought and the public would think you two would look cute… compared to me… but she wouldn’t handle you. Sure right now you were sweet, but you had vices and soon she would’ve stopped being enthusiastic about your fetishes… I knew for a fact she would never tolerate your piss kink… that unexplained excitement that degrading without violence gifted you, I knew she wouldn’t return your wet play with frothing quivering delight– would you clean her afterwards, either? As you filled her asshole and forced her to hold it inside while you wanked and glazed her hole.

I knew she would not take kindly to your paintings sessions either, her reaction would be insincere she had no capacity to smile for you when you’re pinching so hard it almost tears the skin just stopping short of drawing blood looking back to make sure she wouldn’t hate you, she wouldn’t pull your hair and demand your kisses, would she? Would she’ve asked you to continue with your olive clouds?

Maybe Firecracker would enjoy your oral fixations ‘cuz who doesn’t enjoy orgasming seven to ten times in an hour as you slurped on her juices greedily as if it was god’s own ambrosia, who wouldn't like feeling their brain shut down from ecstasy so good it tote the line into agony, who wouldn’t love kissing until jaws grew sore, would she find herself coveting your spit? or your loving demands to have her suck at your tongue?

But she wouldn’t last, it would never be love… for I knew you.

So eventually it would end.

And you wouldn’t want it to end.

For her skin wasn’t made of tissue paper.

She wasn’t lying to you about being a super. I was. So I deserved it, for lying… apparently.

Firecracker would run in her mind but you put your chains on her.

I wasn’t all that narcissistic to think I was that special to you… but it stung… it stung regardless.

But I am patient if anything, and unlike her I was here making you dinner and helping your son with his Homework, I was here under the blankets watching you read while I was on my phone reading your reviews– you could be so witty, you had over 2 thousand followers and so many reviews to keep me occupied.

That next day I met with Kevin, the office was empty and my excuse was that I had work piled up.

“What did you ask me to get you!?”

It caught my surprise to see a small jar placed on my desk, it was labeled carefully with a bunch of numbers, and inside its cylinder was the remnants of a hand.

I picked it up, opening my laptop to match the numbers to my files.

“That’s a kid's hand!”

“I can see that… that’s the hand of a three year old Jane Doe. Look Deep… if you had any shred of human decency left in you, I could trust you with that information but you're a coward. Not to mention that I don’t want to let Homelander kill you, not because I care but I feel like I should be the one to kill you… now give me the rest okay! And pay me my fucking overtime.”

He slid me a go pro and a phone, I showed him the file being deleted and me severing the backdoor connection I had with his phone.

“I might need you to go back and get me some of those documents.”

“You said–

“What? Do you think I only had one video of your romantic escapades?”

He had nothing to say, just a squeaky fist in return.

“I’m going to be in trouble aren’t I? Regardless of what you said I will get it up my ass at the end.”

“If I was you I would memorize the evacuation plan for the Tower, and avoid leaving via helicopter. If it's any consolation it would be me who dies first altho… do you think of yourself as a hero? Like do you ever feel like doing the right thing for once in your life?”

I don't know what possessed me but I had a lightbulb moment.

“I am a superhero.”

He was genuinely insulted.

“Then mister superhero… there's something else you can help me with…”

I made sure to have a perfect excuse, you were in the honeymoon stage of your affair so it wasn’t too difficult for you to ignore the red flags. If anything I gave you a free pass for the day.

The Deep was surprisingly a good driver, he also had the manners to stay quiet and simply follow the map without small talk, any attempt to do so barely got a response from me and at least the music helped with the awkward tension, at this point I figured soon I couldn't bullshit much further.

So yes… I told him before I told you.

“This is ‘Sage Grove Centre’…? Why are we in a loony bin? What does that have to do with the dead bodies!?”

He was hungry for information, so I spilled the beans… It felt good letting it out.

“... about fifteen years ago… Homelander surprised everybody by proving that he wasn’t completely infertile… and ever since Vought has kept an eye on all of his laids… they had wanted to recreate him for years as you know Homelander is… a loose cannon. So their attention turned to his offspring, and out of the eight kids he has made only one of them is alive… Ryan Butcher. That hand belonged to Eun-Ji K. who a month after her birth went missing alongside her mother, Eun-Ji was a natural born supe… but unlike her dad, she didn’t have completely impenetrable skin… Do you want me to spare you the details of how she lost that hand?”

He thought of the box, of the small sample vials and jars, of the gruesome photos of small corpses, he had puked almost immediately.

“Then there was Simon P. who survived testing ‘til the age of three… Aaliyah T. who survived ‘til ten. Robert and Roberta C. who survive to the ages of four and three respectively and Miguel S. who survived ‘til the age of five. Miguel was alive two years ago… they kept some of them in similar sound stages… his eldest weren’t so fortunate, but unlike Ryan’s mother… The other moms were more than happy to begin testing the moment their kids showed signs of having powers or weren't around to complain, so they did the same experiments.”

I looked at him, placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Now as I dug around to find more about his dead family and his history… I noticed something interesting… Homelander has health insurance– makes sense you have to have mandatory health insurance for certain jobs… so it didn’t bother me, until I read into his policies and I wondered: Why does a man with a perfect 20/20 vision pay for extras such as optical? not to mention dental… he does get his teeth whiten often but… when did he ever get a wisdom tooth removed?”

Kevin’s eyebrows touched clearly intrigued.

“So I keep digging… and a lot of those glasses went to a patient in this facility… a fifty-four year old Jane Doe… she had been taken into Sage Grove thirty-nine years ago with a diagnosis of PTSD, and severe panic disorder. They noted the patient had suffered past psychotic episodes where they had harmed themselves and others for she had no tongue… They suspected she was a drug addict which would explain her wounds and disorders, but more suspiciously somebody had paid for her to stay there… and still do… for the last twenty-one years Homelander has been unaware he’s been paying for this Jane Done. I suspect that this Jane Doe is Ms. Gillman… his mother.”

I looked at my phone showing The Deep a picture of your mother, it was still grainy but there it was a young girl barely into puberty that once had been a prospective gymnast from a shitty family.

“I’m so fucking dead.” he said.

Homelander unwrapped his arm, his gaze staring at nothing spitting short lived puff, gasping just to shake off the matching twist in his stomach and throat.

The city had become so lively, it was electrifying, an abuse of all his senses, turning once more to face you, a red glow coming from half-shut eyes as he shook them off fighting the urge to finish you once and for all, your face should had been nothing but heated mince on the pavements the moment you handed Firecracker to your accomplice.

Comfort.

He yearned for comfort so your hands made sure to hold him even if he tried to push you.

The city was so lively, it drowned him.

Your love was unwanted but he couldn't shake you off, the world had ceased to make sense.

One could only compartmentalize so much.

“Can you erase my memories?” He asked softly, his voice not a decibel over a murmur– all of it…?”

Homelander cupped your cheek, his mouth humored a smile but it was forced, desperate to provide the illusion that he wasn’t crumbling inside, He chuffed trembling as you both looked at each other, your hand held his straight.

“I don’t want to know anymore… I don’t want to know… I want to pretend the last three days have been a bad dream. We can stay the way we always were. Sure I’ll be confused about Firecracker– but who cares!? There’s a hundred other broads that can take her spot…”

He brushed your hair off your face while his felt apart around his temples, his whole body shuddering.

“It could kill me and not work… but it could hurt you… hurt you a lot.”

“Try… I… I want everything to be the same as it was three days ago… my love… I can’t.”

“Mi sol.”

#homelander #homelander fanfic #homelander x you #homelander x reader #the boys fanfic #personal #my fic tag #can we be lonely together?#I'm ESL so sorry 'bout grammar.#endign slowly approaching #hope yall like it #dark fic

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themachinehead · 17 days ago

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Staff Augmentation vs. Legacy System Challenges — From External Pressures to Personal Stress

When you’re working with legacy systems, change is rarely straightforward. These systems are the backbone of your operations, but they come with a unique set of challenges. Transitioning to something new? That’s where things get complicated—and risky. It’s not just about adopting new technology; it’s about managing the domino effect that these changes unleash across your organization. One issue leads to another, and soon enough, external pressures, team tensions, and personal stress all collide.

Imagine a key team member with deep system knowledge leaves unexpectedly. You’re scrambling to fill the gap, and then a critical feature fails, putting data and operations at risk. Or maybe a system issue surfaces on the Friday before a holiday weekend, stretching resources to their limit. It’s a pattern that’s all too familiar: problems stack up, each one intensifying the next.

This is where staff augmentation becomes more than just hiring extra hands. It’s a strategic move that brings in specialized skills exactly when and where they’re needed. Whether it’s stabilizing data, filling knowledge gaps, or easing team workload, staff augmentation offers a tailored solution to manage each layer of these overlapping challenges. It’s not just a quick fix — it’s a way to regain control, support your team, and navigate complex transitions smoothly.

In this article, we’ll walk through real scenarios that demonstrate how these issues arise together and explore how staff augmentation can help you handle the ripple effects — keeping operations steady, morale high, and stress in check.

When a Key Employee Leaves and Everything Goes Sideways

Legacy systems can feel like mysteries locked inside the heads of a few key people. So, when one of those people leaves unexpectedly, it’s not just a staffing issue—it’s an operational crisis. You’re left with an information void just as new problems crop up, like data loss or a critical feature going down.

Suddenly, it’s not just one challenge; it’s a domino effect where gaps in knowledge, team strain, and technical issues all collide, threatening stability across the board.

Facing the Fallout When They’re Gone

You can feel the impact immediately. Data becomes harder to track, essential features start glitching, and the whole system feels unstable. Without your expert to rely on, you’re left scrambling to keep everything running smoothly, knowing the risk of failure is growing with each passing hour.

Data Risks Multiply: Many legacy systems lack basic safety features like automated backups or version control. Any slip-up with data storage, without the right person to fix it, becomes a major operational risk. Now, without your go-to expert, there’s no easy way to retrieve lost data or secure what remains.

Features Start to Fail: Those custom tweaks and features—ones that only your veteran employee truly understood—begin to act up. Clients notice, deadlines loom, and you’re one step away from a full-blown system outage.

How Staff Augmentation Steps In: By bringing in data recovery and system experts quickly, you can stabilize the situation. Data specialists can jump in to secure or restore critical data, while legacy system experts handle core functions, minimizing disruptions and keeping essential features running.

The Team Left Behind — And the Pressure They’re Under

Without your legacy expert, the remaining team members are stretched thin, suddenly juggling tasks they didn’t sign up for. Everyone is taking on extra responsibilities, and tensions start bubbling up as frustrations rise.

Workloads are out of control. Each team member has a full plate already, but now they’re managing tasks they weren’t trained for. Errors pile up, deadlines slip, and the frustration is almost palpable.

Rising tensions. When people are under pressure, collaboration suffers. The usual flow of teamwork turns choppy as misunderstandings grow, small issues become big conflicts, and the stress starts taking a toll on morale.

Knowledge bottlenecks. With the main expert gone, only a few remaining team members know parts of the legacy system. The result? Workflows get stuck, bottlenecks appear, and even minor questions cause major slowdowns.

How staff augmentation eases the load. A skilled temporary hire can handle the technical tasks, letting your team focus on what they’re good at. Adding short-term training support also fills knowledge gaps faster, easing tension and making sure everyone knows what they need to keep things moving.

The Personal Toll on Each Team Member

It’s not just technical overload; the personal strain is real. Team members are thrown into high-stakes roles, often feeling overwhelmed, unprepared, and isolated in their efforts to hold everything together.

Unfamiliar responsibilities. Faced with complex, unfamiliar tasks, team members start doubting themselves. “Am I even capable of handling this?” becomes a daily question, eroding confidence.

Burnout risks rise. With everyone pushing longer hours and taking on extra work, burnout isn’t far behind. Energy levels drop, productivity dips, and the cycle of stress and fatigue intensifies.

Isolation and pressure. Without the right support, employees feel like they’re on an island, with no one to turn to for guidance. The pressure to perform without slipping becomes overwhelming, especially when they’re uncertain about their new responsibilities.

How staff augmentation supports well-being. Temporary specialists ease the load by covering critical tasks, allowing your team to focus on familiar work and avoid burnout. Plus, having external experts to collaborate with reduces isolation and boosts morale, giving your team the support they need during a tough transition.

Bringing Stability Back

When a key person leaves unexpectedly, and everything feels on the brink, staff augmentation offers more than just a quick fix. It provides essential skills and knowledge when you need it most, restoring order amid chaos. With the right support, your organization can keep data secure, reduce team strain, and rebuild confidence—turning a potential crisis into a manageable transition that strengthens your operations.

Balancing Tech Demands and Team Tensions

When you’re integrating new technology into a legacy system, the pressure is on. There’s a constant need to innovate, to keep up with new demands, but that doesn’t mean everyone is ready for change. Your team faces the push to ideate, prototype, and implement new features while still managing the familiar weight of legacy tasks. But then resistance kicks in—longstanding team members might push back, refusing to share knowledge or even outright resisting the changes.

The Push for New Features, and Why It Feels Like a Losing Battle

The call for new features is loud and clear. Clients want more capabilities, executives expect tech upgrades, and your team feels the pressure to deliver. But that’s easier said than done when the foundation is a decades-old system, and innovation feels like forcing a square peg into a round hole.

External ressures for innovation. Stakeholders expect new features that fit modern needs, like integration with cloud platforms or enhanced data analytics. But the legacy system’s limitations and patchwork updates make even small upgrades feel like major overhauls.

Resource strain on your team. Team members are trying to juggle feature ideation and development while maintaining the legacy system’s stability. That workload—combined with tight deadlines—stretches resources thin and fuels frustration.

How staff augmentation keeps innovation moving. Bringing in experienced product development and technical specialists adds much-needed expertise without overloading your team. These specialists know how to work with legacy systems and can focus on prototyping new features, so your team isn’t pulled in too many directions.

The Resistance Factor: Navigating Interpersonal Tensions

With new technology, the friction isn’t just in the code. Some legacy team members have been running the system for years, and they see change as a threat. They might withhold knowledge, resist learning new tools, or challenge every update, creating a tense atmosphere for the rest of the team.

Knowledge hoarding and pushback. Legacy team members might keep vital information to themselves, creating bottlenecks. Or they might resist updates, adding friction every time the team tries to make progress on a new feature.

Collaboration breakdowns. When some team members are eager to adopt changes and others refuse, it creates an “us versus them” environment. This divide leads to miscommunication, stalled projects, and a breakdown in teamwork.

How staff augmentation eases interpersonal tensions. A third-party specialist can bridge these gaps. By bringing in neutral experts who know legacy systems, staff augmentation provides a buffer, encouraging knowledge-sharing and easing tension. These specialists often bring new perspectives, helping teams work through resistance and fostering a more open, collaborative environment.

The Emotional Strain of Change Fatigue

Everyone on the team feels the push-and-pull of these demands, but some feel it more acutely. For newer team members, adapting to the legacy system can be exhausting, and for long-timers, the constant pressure to learn new tools and adapt can lead to burnout. It’s a cycle of change fatigue, self-doubt, and frustration.

Stress of “proving yourself”. Newer employees might feel they have to prove themselves by adapting to both the legacy and the new systems. Meanwhile, veteran team members feel pressure to “keep up” with tools they aren’t comfortable with.

Risk of burnout and low morale. When deadlines loom and tensions run high, it’s easy for team morale to dip. Employees start to feel isolated, questioning if they’re capable of handling the changes and struggling to find energy for yet another update.

How Staff Augmentation Protects Well-being: Adding external experts takes some of the strain off the team. Temporary specialists handle the technical work of integrating new features, freeing up your team to focus on what they do best. Having that support lightens the load, reducing burnout risk and giving everyone a bit of breathing room.

Strengthening the Team, Even Through Tension

When team dynamics get strained and innovation feels like an uphill battle, staff augmentation can turn things around. By bringing in neutral specialists, you’re bridging gaps, easing tensions, and creating a team that’s ready for change. Staff augmentation isn’t just an extra set of hands—it’s a way to keep the team cohesive, focused, and capable, no matter how tough the transition.

The Holiday-Time Incident and Its Ripple Effect

Picture this: It’s Friday afternoon, right before a long holiday weekend, and just when everyone’s wrapping up, a major issue surfaces in your legacy system. Maybe it’s a critical feature breaking down, a data processing glitch, or an error in an essential workflow. Whatever the problem, the timing couldn’t be worse. With limited staff available over the holiday, you’re facing an uphill battle to keep things stable until the full team returns. This is where everything converges—external pressures, team dynamics, and personal stress combine to create a high-stakes situation.

Facing External Timing Constraints

When issues hit during a holiday, they don’t wait for convenience. Extended downtime threatens stability, making the stakes even higher. With limited in-house support, any delay could mean dissatisfied clients, unmet deadlines, or even compliance risks if the problem lingers too long.

Operational impact of the timing. An incident at this point throws the whole system off balance. Regular workflows get interrupted, service levels drop, and every hour of downtime becomes more costly. Knowing that your skeleton crew will be stretched thin over the weekend only amplifies the risk.

Escalating client and stakeholder expectations. External stakeholders—clients, regulatory bodies, partners—expect stability regardless of timing. They don’t see a holiday; they see a potential lapse in service, and that can lead to strained relationships or financial repercussions.

Solution with staff augmentation. Having an on-call emergency response team through staff augmentation allows you to manage this crisis. These experts are ready to jump in, troubleshoot issues, and maintain operational continuity, even during holidays. With this added layer of support, you avoid extended disruptions, keeping your clients and stakeholders reassured while minimizing damage to your system.

Managing Team Dynamics During a Holiday Crisis

The strain doesn’t just stop at operational impact. Your in-house team is likely to feel the pressure to “hold down the fort” during a time when they’d typically be taking a break. This is more than just an inconvenience; it’s an immediate burden on morale and teamwork.

Interpersonal pressures and burnout risks. Being asked to cover during a holiday, especially on short notice, can lead to resentment and burnout among those who are asked to stay. When people are called to handle more than they’d planned for, tensions rise, leading to strained relationships and, often, mistakes in critical moments.

Struggle with team communication. With part of the team off-duty and others scrambling to keep things running, communication can get chaotic. The team’s usual rhythm is off, and minor misunderstandings turn into time-consuming setbacks.

Solution with Staff Augmentation: By introducing rotating on-call staff from a staff augmentation provider, you reduce the pressure on your permanent team. These professionals fill the gap, covering key responsibilities and ensuring your team isn’t running on fumes. With support in place, your core employees don’t have to shoulder the entire crisis alone, helping keep team morale intact.

The Personal Toll of Unexpected Responsibility

The holiday season is often when people expect to unplug, recharge, and spend time away from work. But when a crisis lands on their plate unexpectedly, those hopes quickly fade. This unplanned responsibility can take a heavy toll on their well-being.

Overwhelming sense of responsibility. Being the go-to person during a holiday crisis means missing out on much-needed rest and relaxation, often with family plans disrupted. The emotional toll is real—employees feel stretched, isolated, and pressured to deliver under tough conditions.

Stress and exhaustion. When employees face a major incident without backup, it quickly leads to burnout. The stress of a high-stakes problem combined with the disappointment of a holiday spent at work can leave them drained, impacting performance long after the issue is resolved.

Solution with staff augmentation. Temporary on-call experts from a staff augmentation service provide critical coverage, letting your permanent staff take time off as planned. By lightening the load, you’re allowing your employees to prioritize their well-being while ensuring continuous support. This kind of backup not only handles immediate issues but preserves your team’s energy and morale, setting them up to return recharged and ready to take on their usual responsibilities.

Keeping Operations — and Morale — Stable

A holiday crisis doesn’t have to lead to chaos. With the right staff augmentation strategy, you can respond to critical issues without sacrificing your team’s well-being or letting downtime stretch on. From emergency troubleshooting to on-call coverage, staff augmentation provides the expertise and support needed to handle crises smoothly, even at the most inconvenient times. It’s about more than just filling in—it’s about ensuring that your team, your system, and your organization stay resilient, even under pressure.

#staffing solutions #staffing company

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madaramee · 21 days ago

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@rangikuxmatsumoto asked:

Using her foot to kick shove the wooden practice swords that he was painstakingly taking the time to repair out of her way she plopped down in his lap and open up the magazine that she held bookmarked in her hand. The open page reading 'Relationship Quiz: Ask Your Boyfriend these Questions...'

The process of repairing broken swords isn't an easy one, such trouble only mitigated by the material these bokken were made of (being, well, wood). As one in charge of training (read: primary squad abuser), and especially following the official promotion, seeing that all equipment was in top shape unfortunately fell to the bald man's jurisdiction. To say he could be doing better would be a stretch, honestly; he's been used to these sort of tasks, albeit on a more selfish intention rather an altruistic one.

Broken wooden swords were hard to mend. The sheer amount by itself didn't leave much free time, but the process by itself was long enough to deter most from even attempting it. While most would wrap some paper aids around the broken, mendable parts and call it a day, Ikkaku preferred going the longer route. The split wooden swords were goners, nothing could be done about those. But the cracked ones could be patched properly with some glue, designated materials, proper wrapping and in extreme cases, tsugi: using metal fillings to hold the laced wood in place.

He'd been indulging in the act, begrudgingly really, for at least an hour and some. Two swords set aside to dry after being recoated with varnish, seven to go, one in the making for a total of ten. Some time into work he could hear the house door slide open as the woman came in, exchanging a short-lived, proper greeting before he was allowed to return to his focus. He could at least respect that Rangiku knew when to stay put and let him work.

-- Yeah, as if. Of course she'd push away the finished products without care. "HEY!!!" He yelled, immediately riled as he watched his hard work crumble in the pressure of the fall. Not even allowed to give chase and restack the items as the woman decided it was her time now, seating herself very nonchalantly at his lap.

"Do you have ANY idea how long that took!!?" Ikkaku cried in frustration, disregarding the fact she chose absolute proximity, resulting in a practical scream into her ear.

But of course, the lady remained adamant in her endeavors to get on his nerves. Straightening her back and holding out the magazine for both to view, reading out loud in a clear voice, clearly for him to hear: 'Relationship Quiz: Ask Your Boyfriend these Questions'.

... ... Dumbfoundedness, letting the woman proceed into 'Question 1' in his stun, soon turned into a solid sneer, almost in complete disbelief. "...SERIOUSLY!!?" Her excuse for tarnishing his hard-earned work and effectively delaying the deadline by at least another hour and a half, was... A magazine. A quiz. If he didn't know her by now, he'd have thought this to be a really bad joke. "Can't this WAIT!!?"

#rangikuxmatsumoto #intoxicate me now {||} ikkaran #RAN WHAT THE ACTUAL FU CK

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cheswirls · 4 months ago

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oh the woes of having multiple hobbies....

i think it being artfight month is making me sink back into the 'i shouldn't want to do anythin but draw until this is done' mood i usually have during the semester which is.. ick, kinda

the other day i had the urge to write (unmedicated too!! that doesn't happen very often anymore!) and i should've jus acted upon that but i ended up guilttripping myself w the whole 'you should do art instead its only 30 days its only once a year' which is already so suffocating. i ended up doing neither actually in part bc i psyched myself out abt making a choice so in the nd i made no choice (typical when unmedicated so this is the okay-ish norm tbh) and think i tired myself out enough to go to sleep. i woke up to an art file on my laptop so i intented to start smth i guess

also i think checking out an ipad from campus during the semester is so much easier to draw on vs the hassle that is drawing on my display tablet these days. i miss my wacom if only bc it was wireless and thin and easy to power on and get going. with this new tablet i have to plug in 3 diff cords and its bulkier nd i gotta scoot my laptop on my desk to still be in reach bc the tablet has no touch function and it takes A LOT of power and effort out of my laptop thats 12 yrs old now. it makes drawing digitally that much more of a chore tbh and is partially the reason i've doodled so much traditionally in the past year and kept all my digital art for uni work only

which another point. is uh. idk i think i'm rambling now but. last year i got super excited for artfight and drafted a bunch of stuff digitally and was sitting at the coffee table in the main room of my apt for the first time in so long and it was going well until i got rly into tetherverse again n started working on the sequel like mad and that stole away a lot of my drawing motivation. i had two handfuls of of artfight attacks sketched and only ever finished a SINGLE one last year which was terribly disappointing. and then i think realizing that at the end of the month absolutely killed my desire to work on the writing project i'd grown so passionate about too. vicious cycle all around rly.

i dont want it to be llike that this year but once again now that artfight is here even tho its a fun thing i've made it a "requirement" in my mind which kills all my passion to work on it. i think the term is... obligation? when something turns from doing it for fun into an obligation i Have to complete then i lose allllllll motivation and desire to do it. it's THEEE reason i'm always telling my dad i could never write books for a living, bc writing is a hobby first nd foremost and although i enjoy it a lot i know as soon as i become tied down to a project and i Have To complete it or face consequences then it will suck all the fun out of it

this is the same way for school and part of the reason uni's been so hard since.... ever, really, and it's jus taken me long to realise it. i get really into an art project at the start and then as deadlines and check-ins and such creep up i become less and less engaged. i have no trouble completing things in one sitting if given the time to do so if i'm 100% invested and engaged. during spring break 2022 i stayed up for almost three nights and two days and did nothing but research and write almost 25k for a fic opener. if i had work or anything else those days i literally cannot recall. the only thing i remember doing is taking a break to walk 15min to go and pay rent and that's when it rly set in how much caffeine i'd had and how long i'd been up writing.

all of that to say that if i'm into something i can waste away working until it's done. i've said this before bit making a wip folder for art Killed™ my art creating process. i used to have one file open and work on it until it was done, and if that took me more than one full day then i'd sleep on it and finish it the very next day. i don't rmember that happening very often. now i leave things unfinished all the time and its terrible. i also have a Lot Less free time to be fair but also. also. i cannot multitask so as soon as i save a wip and move on to the next it fucking bites the dust. i've gotten into the habit of leaving smth unfinished in another window on csp in hopes that i'll jump bck to it but i stopped that after a while bc i jus collect windows like i collect internet browser tabs.

i also think to go along w the time thing.. i have to mentally acknowledge that i have sufficient time to devote to smth. i'm not the type of person that can do smth for 15 min then jump up and do smth else. if i could write 100 words a day for a fic every day then i'd have far, far less wips than i do now. its harder especially to do this for fic bc a lot of what i do is longer work and sometimes i have to sink into it. if i'm writing for a 50k+ fic i haven't touched for even a month then i need time to go over what i have and what my plans are. it's much harder to work on a longer fic after a bit has passed than it is to pick up a shorter one bc it requires less time to dive back into the world. especially if its been like 6mo-1yr, before i even start writing again i gotta reread everything i've written up to that point. that takes more than a day, and i might get tired and move on to smth else before i've even finished rereading which is so exhausting. it's exhausting to work on so many diff things at once.

with art that means i gotta have time to fight w my display tablet and get everything settled. it takes so much work and effort that if i only have a couple hours, i feel like even that's not enough bc i know i'll have to stop before i'm done. if it takes me 90 minutes to get into drawing and i gotta be ready to leave in another 30 then like whats???? the point rly???? that's how i think tho!!!! it sucks !!!!! if i'm up at 8am but ik i have smth to do at 5p then my whole day revolves around that thing happening in 9 hrs. when it hits 12p i theoretically have enough time to do smth but executive dysfunction makes it hard to pick a singular task to prioritize, and when its 3hrs away from w/e i have to do suddenly nothing is worth it anymore. i'm very much a 'sink into it' creative person which means i cannot jus dive in and work on smth. i gotta have music, i gotta have some focus, i gotta be comfortable, i gotta have my mood set to w/e i'm doing, i gotta know what direction i'm going in,a nd i gotta have energy and enthusiasm to do said creative task. all of that aligning w/ inattentive adhd is so hard and makes life so miserable, but this is compounded even moreeeeeee by not being able to work unless i make my mind feel like i have ample time to do so. mainly bc if i get rly into smth then have to stop for an obligation that i'd rather do less (mainly work! rather would do anything but work but alas) than what i'm doing currently then it drains all my energy very rapidly and i get so disappointed. w/e i'm doing after, whether it be work or class or w/e, is with an air of such disdain bc it interrupted the 'special thing i was doing' that it makes life hell in all honesty. i want to put myself thru that the least amount of times possible which is why i never start anything i know i'll have to put down w/o being able to finish. let me rephrase that. being able to finish as i'd like it. working on a super long fic but writing enough for a chapter or running out of steam on my own and finishing a scene and then being dragged away to smth else is fine, bc i've "finished" on my end even if not in full. it's being interrupted in the middle of the process when i'm not ready to quit, basically. that kind of "finished" is what i mean. if i have 2 hrs and it takes me an hr to find references and i'm not exhausted after that then another 20m to sketch smth decent and only with like half an hr or so left am i into what i'm doing then what's the point?? especially when, as established, i can push a drawing into the wip folder and forget abt it if i'm no longer "into it" when i'm back and have time to draw again.

long rambling i'm tired of but basically it's the season of drawing obligations again and i wanna try this year to have fun and do what i want but ALSo not feel guilty abt doing smth that is not drawing for other ppl, which i already do so much of year round anyway (i love it, this is not a complaint). i wanna be able to write and play pkmn and read and do whatever and not feel like i Have to be artfighting every second of the day.

#personal #ish #this is rly jus adhd rant extraordinaire

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