#the date on the file name is in november

[triruntu]

very slowly picking away at something here

[10yrsyart]

Connor needs more friends and Tron lost/ destroyed all his friends, so i think they should be buddies 😤👌 they have a lot in common, they can bond over their shared trauma hahah

(the crossover came to me in November and then i shot myself in the foot by deciding to do traditional instead of digital 😂 ...and it hasn't left me alone, so there may be more still)

DBH/ Tron AU

transcript:

Connor: -nothing so far. It appears to be a library archive of ENCOM's back up files. Copies of layouts and simulations. But no location of the GRID server or current status.

Markus: Alright Connor, keep me posted. And be careful.

Connor: I will, Markus.

Connor: (A corrupted security file..? Why-)

Connor: --W A K E U P--

Connor: I'm sorry. Your updated matrix was corrupt, so I had to access your base code.

Tron: Are you a User?

Connor: My name is Connor, I'm th- I'm an android.. a detective with New Jericho.

Tron: My name is Tron. To what do I owe a super computer for the rescue?

Connor: New Jericho received an anonymous tip about the existence of ISOs in ENCOM's dormant system, and I recovered your security program during my search. Perhaps you'd be able to help me?

Tron: I cannot condone any program, or AI for that matter, actively working to harm the Users or ISOs.

Connor: That's not our intent, I promise you.

Tron: ...Very well. On one condition.

Connor: Yes?

Tron: ..I'm an old program, Connor. Would you tell me.. how the User world has changed?

Connor: (smiles)

(BONUS)

Tron: Connor! It's good to see you.

Connor: Hello, Tron.

Tron: How are you?

Connor: I'm well. I was telling my friend Hank about you and the date of your origin. And he said, “For pete's sake, kid, what'cha doin with all us old guys? Ya gotta get out more, get some sun.”

Tron: He sounds like he would have enjoyed one of MY User friends.

Connor: Maybe if he knew who you were, Hank would feel differently-

Tron: NO... no, I'd rather keep my anonymity. It's better that way..

[letomills]

Download all: SFS / Mega

I finally firmly settled on a hair palette for my game, so here are a bunch of eyebrows to match it: Beccabear Brooke, Blahberry Pancake Unibrow 1, Digi KimJM, Ephemera 080620, Ephemera 091228, io Louhi, Lapink November, Lilith Straight, Liulai 02a, Remus Sirion 34, Vivi N1 and Zerodark HeyJude.

Details under the cut, the swatch and named previews are also included in the download.

I love the Pooklet-Digi-Io palette that @fakebloood uses (see here) but I don't actually use all of the colors on it. This is the selection I'll be sticking with:

[blacks: Dynamite, Landmine / browns: Caim, Sorath, Orias / blonds: Volatile, Grenade / reds: Copper, Ariel / greys: Pipebomb, Grenade, Mailbomb / + unbinned Naberius]

To be more exact that's the palette I'll be sticking to for hair: eyebrows are the same except they only get one black tone instead of Dynamite + Landmine.

All colors are binned except Naberius (Naberius eyebrows will therefore be available for all sims no matter their hair color). All are tooltipped and compressorized.

Since having Grenade as a grey is unusual, I took care to put elder Grenade on a separate file - separate from the "Grenade as blond for PU-AU" file that is. This way if you don't want Grenade for your elders, but you still want it as a blond for everyone else, you can just delete the "_grenade_EUgrey" file and you're good. EU is repo'd though, so if you do want grenade for EU, you need to also have it as blond for everyone else.

Previews (here in black):

I got the base textures from @pooklet (this massive post), @simborg (this massive post), @serabiet (for Louhi) and @memento-sims (for the unibrow).

To keep file size as small as possible, I chose not to use bump maps (honestly in game it makes no visual difference that I can see anyway). No duplicate textures.

~

Let me know if you see anything wrong. I know this isn't the most varied selection ever, my bias for natural-looking eyebrows as opposed to highly stylized ones is definitely showing (this is a pretty selfish upload or I would have done the whole Fakeblood palette, I just didn't have the strength for it). Maybe I'll do more fun eyebrow shapes at a later date.

[cerebrocentric-bullet]

I'm reopening 10 Transformers/mecha bust commission slots in exchange for 30 euro donations or more (or amount of equal value in your currency) to Palestinian GFMs raising money to leave or survive in the Gaza Strip.

Steps:

Make a donation of at least 30 euros to a Palestinian GFM campaign (You can find verified campaigns over at Gaza Funds or if you're interested ask me about a campaign local to me that I've chosen to highlight.)

Send me an ask or a DM to secure your slot(s).

Email me proof of your donation where both the amount and date of donation are visible at cerebrocentric.bullet@gmail.com. The date has to be from the 8th of November or later.

Include the name and continuity of the character you'd like me to draw as well as the expression and pose you'd like me to draw them in. Make sure to include a visual reference if your character is an OC.

You'll receive a high resolution PNG and JPG image file of your commission in your email within 2-3 weeks.

I'm best at drawing any kind of robot that is blocky (not just Transformers!), but I'll try my hand at TFP and TFA designs if you'd like me to.

[novella-november]

Media Preservation Monday

Yeah, yeah, as of this original post it's actually only Wednesday but hey, take this as a sign to take some initiative, and keep to it each Monday at minimum if you're actively writing!

What's Media Preservation Monday, you may ask?

MPM is your reminder to back up your writing at least three ways at least once a week or whenever you make major changes to your document(s).

Here's some incredibly easy ways to back up your writing:

One your Master Document(s), put a date on the file name, and every day you make changes, "Save As" the Document and change the date. Do this every time or day you make major changes.

Example: You start writing your Novella November Story on November 1st.

You name your master document "Novnov Project 11-01-2024"

The next day, you write some more, and at the end of your writing session, you go to save your document, and instead of simply hitting "Save" you choose "Save As" and save the new copy of the Document as "Novnov Project 11-02-2024".

You now have two copies of your project, and if you keep this up throughout the whole month, you will have a live snapshot of your writing progress.

Each day or after each major writing session, open up the folder containing your document, and back it up. The Easiest and simplest way to do this is to simply email it to yourself, but you can also create multiple backups by:

Save a copy of your dated Master Document(s) to different locations on your Hard-drive, to an external hard-drive, to a thumbdrive, etc.

If you're writing offline on a writing program like Libreoffice, upload a copy of your Master Document(s) to your preffered Cloud-based Writing Program of your choice.

Vice Versa: if you write on a Cloud-based writing program, download it to various offline-based locations.

Download the base document as well as download it as various ebook formats and send them to your ebook library on your phone or kindle or nook or reading app.

Make a personal discord server and upload the document/epub form of your Master Document(s) there [this is also a good way of making a kind of personal journal / diary etc]

Whatever you do, do not be complacent and assume nothing can happen to your writing. Back it up. Preserve it.

Don't have all of your hard work go down the drain because of one tiny unforeseen accident.

When it comes time to clean up your hardrive, always assume you don't have it backed up. Before deleting anything always take the time to copy it over to another physical drive or a cloud drive.

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

Today, Israel is voting in its local elections (for mayors and city councils). ALMOST all of Israel. The original date was at the end of October 2023, for obvious reasons, the elections were postponed. There were also a lot of mayor nominees, who were summoned for reserves service due to the war, and one of the reasons why the elections were postponed more than once, was to give as many of them as possible a chance to finish their service, and participate in their own election campaign. But even so, there are still hundreds of thousands of people from evacuated communities (displaced people, internal refugees, however you wanna call them), and therefore not everyone will be voting today. For the evacuated cities and towns, the elections were postponed until November. Looking at things, it's not sure they'll be back in their homes by then either, so IDK what their elections will look like. And then of course there are the hostages. Save for two, 4 years old Ariel Bibas and his 1 years old baby brother Kfir, they all had the right to vote, and none will get to. We remember them and hurt over their absence and everything being continuously being stolen from them on this day, too. On a side note, the national supervisor of these local electional is Rayan Ghanem. And if you know Jewish last names, you know Ghanem is not one of them. I'm trying to remember a time in apartheid South Africa when a non-white was a national supervisor of elections.

Despite still pointing out that the International Court of Justice has no right to judge the case brought to it by South Africa (becaue of SA's false claims to bring this case to court), Israel has filed a report in accordance with one of the ICJ's provisional measures, showing that its actions are in compliance with all of them (like providing humanitarian aid to Gaza, and doing all it can to protect civilians).

Meanwhile, at Harvard, just 6 weeks after she was appointed to lead the task force meant to combat Jew hatred, the university's antisemitism tsar has quit her position, with reports saying that she's frustrated over her inability to implement practical measures.

Remember when I wrote about Idan Amedi, the Israeli singer and actor that most people outside our country know from his role on Fauda? He gave a really moving speech when he was released from the hospital. I've wanted to share it for a while, but couldn't find it translated well. I found this bit:

But it really doesn't cover how moving the whole speech is (it's 9 minutes long). Among other things, he also thanked medical teams, assured Israelis we have the best ones, and apologized to his soldiers who died in the same incident in which he was injured. He also mentioned that he was unrecognizable when he was rushed into the hospital, and that doctors only identified him by the note that was attacked to his hand. It turns out, he really wanted people to see what he was talking about, and to understand that by the time he gave this public speech, he was already looking much better than on the day of he was wounded. So here is the image he shared himself on his IG (just scroll quickly past it, if you feel like it is too much for you, which is an understandbale reaction):

This is 68 years old David Edri.

On October 7, he was held hostage with his wife by Hamas for hours. At a certain point, he even covered his wife Rachel with his own body, in order to protect her from the terrorists' shots. They both survived. Yesterday, we got the news that he has passed away. His family said the trauma and stress from the massacre, and the news of its scale, had aggravated his medical problems for the last couple of months, until he could no longer go on.

This is 23 years old Raz Mizrachi.

In May 2021, she was injured in a vehicular terrorist attack in Jerusalem, but survived. On Oct 7, she was attending the Nova music festival. Her last phone call was to the police, to help instruct them on where she and dozens of others were hiding from Hamas terrorists, inside a public bomb shelter. Raz was murdered shortly after that. When her mom got a copy of the call's recording, she said it was a great source of comfort to the family, to know that Raz was a fighter till the last moment.

May their memory be a blessing.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[estherax]

Disco Elysium creative team VS Studio ZA/UM: the complete(?) timeline (updated on March 24th)

Recent news confused a lot of people, including me, so I made a timeline of events to understand the situation better! If you have any corrections, more info and sources feel free to reach out to me or add to this post!

Important parts are highlighted in orange, names and organizations to keep in mind are in italics, the newest corrections and updates are highlighted in green, other information elaborating on the situation is in (brackets).

October 1st, 2022. Martin Luiga puts out a Medium post announcing the dissolution of ZA/UM cultural association and confirming that Kurvitz, Hindpere, Rostov no longer work at ZA/UM studio "since the end of last year and their leaving the company was involuntary."

October 3rd 2022. Kotaku published an article, claiming "the studio hasn’t been transparent about what exactly happened with staff either." According to "two sources familiar with the situation, the studio’s internal announcement of Kurvitz’s departure late last year [2021] also contained a threat of possible legal action against him. Any split would have been made messier by Kurvitz and Rostov being shareholders in the studio, the sources said. It’s also clear ZA/UM has gone out of its way to try and keep the situation quiet. Kotaku reached out for an interview with Kurvitz in February [2022]. The studio declined on his behalf, but provided no indication the developer had already left the company." Kotaku also mentions a tweet from Martin Luiga announcing the dissolution of ZA/UM cultural association. One of Martin's tweets (further elaborating on the dissolution) was quote tweeted by user nob69691 with caption "the suits have killed disco", to which he responded with pictures of the game’s executive producers, Tõnis Haavel and Kaur Kender.

October 25th, 2022. Kotaku Australia reports Kurvitz’s company, Telomer, has filed an application against Studio ZA/UM to "obtain information and review documents." Court date is listed as November 28th, 2022.

Kotaku also reached out to Martin Luiga for a comment; when asked if the case’s purpose was to regain control of the Elysium IP, he responded, “What else could it possibly be?”

November 9th, 2022. Studio ZA/UM puts out a statement detailing the dismissed employees (unnamed) "had limited to no engagement in their responsibilities and work, created a toxic work environment, demonstrated misconduct towards other employees including verbal abuse and gender discrimination, and attempted to illegally sell ZA/UM's intellectual property".

In an Estonian newspaper, Estonian Ekspress, ZA/UM CEO Ilmar Kompus has further accused Kurvitz and shareholder Saandar Taal (Rostov's alias) of "humiliating colleagues and intending to steal IP" as well as "belittling women and co-workers."

Kompus added that their dismissal was demanded and carried out by Kaur Kender, executive producer on Disco Elysium and their direct manager at the time. Kender was placed on a leave of absence on medical grounds in late August according to Kompus.

Speaking to the Estonian Ekspress, Martin Luiga said he was "driven to drink by the unnatural work arrangement" at the studio. "The work was organised in such a way that the goal did not seem to be to make games, but rather to make people quarrel with each other."

(I am also adding anonymous claims, take them with a grain of salt)

One source that spoke to GamesIndustry.biz, who asked to remain anonymous, described the situation as "not black and white," and said that long-term staff were reluctant to speak out about Kurvitz’ behaviour because they respected him, and felt like they owed him for their positions. Sources that spoke to the Estonian Ekspress described a clash of two visions between the business team of ZA/UM led by Kompus, and the creative team formerly headed by Robert Kurvitz, which considered profit "secondary." This was corroborated by our sources, one of which described the situation as "CEO corporate scheming on one side, a toxic auteur on the other."

On the same day, Kurvitz and Rostov shared a Medium post explaining their side. Kurvitz and Rostov are minority shareholders in Studio ZA/UM, while "the majority of this company’s shares were initially held by Margus Linnamäe, who provided the initial capital. In 2021, Linnamäe was bought out by another minority shareholder," a company called Tütreke. They say this company "is a vehicle for two Estonian businessmen — Ilmar Kompus and Tõnis Haavel." Kurvitz and Rostov described Linnamäe as a trusted majority shareholder, but didn't share the same sentiment regarding Kompus and Haavel. "As soon as they became majority shareholders, we were quickly excluded from daily operations, our employment was terminated and our access to the company’s information was shut off. Our firing came weeks after we started asking for documents and financial data, which is still being kept from us. We have now learned that Tütreke OÜ must have obtained control over Zaum Studio OÜ by fraud. We believe the money used by Tütreke OÜ to buy the majority stake was taken illegally from Zaum Studio OÜ itself".

Studio ZA/UM denied any claims of fraud and insisted that dismissal of wokers "was a decision that had to be taken for the wellbeing of the collective."

Correction: Ilmar Kompus's statement came out first on Estonian Ekspress on November 8th 2022 21:06. His statement and Studio ZA/UM's statement given to GameIndustry.biz were reproduced and published in a GameIndustry.biz report on November 9th. Rostov and Kurvitz's Medium statement came out later on November 9th. GameIndustry.biz report added an excerpt from Medium on November 10th. (i used Wayback Machine to check this, the report was updated between 11:08 and 11:53)

November 9th 2022. Kotaku puts out an article, summarizing the above statments from Studio ZA/UM, Kompus, Kurvitz and Rostov. "When asked by Kotaku, a spokesperson for ZA/UM declined to elaborate beyond its original statement [about dismissal of employees over misconduct], including whether the allegations also applied to Rostov as well as Helen Hindpere."

23rd of November, 2022. PC Gamer reports a hearing was held in Harju County Court in October, where Kurvitz and Rostov argued that Kompus had allegedly sold four concept sketches (for Disco Elysium sequel), to Tütreke for just over €1 and then immediately bought them back for €4.8 million using Studio ZA/UM's money. This amount is what was apparently used to buy Linnamäe's large stake, and put it in the hands of Kompus. "Kompus allegedly hoped that ZA/UM and Disco Elysium could be resold quickly. [...] But there remained a problem: Robert Kurvitz is the creator of Disco Elysium, still owns a piece of it, and has the right to block any acquisition."

The latest legal battle was lodged by Kaur Kender, executive producer and marketing manager of the game, "who claimed in court that Kompus cheated him out of just under €1,000,000." At Kender's request, the court seized Kompus' stake in Studio ZA/UM to prevent a sale or transfer of holdings during the proceedings.

Haavel is also accused in the lawsuit of following Kompus' actions. The filing pointed out that the holder of the IP rights to Disco Elysium is a subsidiary called YESSIRNOSIR LTD, which is owned by ZA/UM UK. The director of ZA/UM UK is Anu Reiman, who is also reportedly a partner of Haavel's. Kender claims that Haavel's involvement is being "kept secret" because he's €11.2 million in debt as a result of his 2015 conviction.

Speaking to the Estonian Ekspress, Kompus denied the existence of a lawsuit against him, and Haavel called the allegations "completely absurd." Both were shown legal documents by the outlet and did not respond.

December 8th, 2022. According to GamesIndustry.biz article, Kaur Kender has withdrawn a lawsuit against Tütreke.

Studio ZA/UM provided a statement from Kompus, but could not provide a reason for Kender's withdrawal. Kompus says: "We are pleased that Kender and his attorneys have chosen to withdraw their lawsuit – one that should never have been filed in the first place. Their decision affirms there was no basis for their accusations and that I have acted appropriately and responsibly, as underscored by the corporate records I provided."

The article also mentions Studio ZA/UM was unable to provide an update on the suit's progression against Kurvitz's company, Telomer.

PC Gamer reached for comment, Kender stated that his lawsuit against the owner of Studio ZA/UM proved to be successful and provided a timeline of the lawsuit:

Kaur Kender's lawsuit against the owner of ZA/UM was successful.

Kaur Kender's (his company, Chromed Investing OÜ) lawsuit against the owner of Zaum Studio OÜ proved to be successful.

On October 25, 2022, Kaur Kender's company filed a lawsuit against OÜ Tütreke (Ilmar Kompus company), in which was demanded the seizure of Zaum Studio OÜ's share belonging to OÜ Tütreke.

On October 29, 2022, the Estonian court secured the action and shares belonging to OÜ Tütreke were seized.

On October 31, 2022, the order securing the action was forwarded to Nasdaq and the Estonian Business Register.

On November 1, 2022, Kaur Kender sent a letter in English to contacts, including Ilmar Kompus and Tõnis Haavel, stating that the minority shareholders demand the convening of a general meeting.

On November 4, 2022, Ilmar Kompus' company OÜ Tütreke paid a total of 4 million euros to Zaum Studios OÜ in two payments.

On November 11, 2022, Ilmar Kompus' company OÜ Tütreke paid 800,000 euros to ZA/UM Studios OÜ.

Ilmar Kompus referred in the corresponding payment orders: "Return of the amounts received on the basis of the contract on 12.2021-01.2022 due to the nullity of the contract".

To the extent that Ilmar Kompus returned the illegally taken 4,800,000 euros, Kaur Kender achieved the goal of the lawsuit filed, and the court proceedings in this case will be terminated.

PC Gamer also provided commentary and an excerpt from Estonian Ekspress: "Eesti Ekspress reports that Kompus "paid back" €4.8 million to Studio ZA/UM in November. The outlet says that the reason provided for the transaction was that the €4.8 million "was received on the basis of a void transaction." Eesti Ekspress points out that Kompus "controls both sides" of that void transaction. [...] By now transferring €4.8 million to the company to repay it for a "void transaction," the intended message seems to be that he didn't use company money to buy his shares. But why did he have the €4.8 million in the first place?"

Robert Kurvitz told PC Gamer that his party is aware of "Kompus’s view that the money taken from ZA/UM Studio was 'repaid'." Kurvitz says he's seen a "partial bank statement allegedly confirming such repayment," but remains unclear on the "source and legal nature of this repayment, and the further use of the allegedly repaid funds."

"Further, any 'repayment' of the company’s money which was used to illegally acquire a majority stake does not erase the main consequence of the initial injustice⁠—which is that Kompus remains the majority owner, a position that he was only able to attain by using the company’s money as his own," said Kurvitz. "In light of this, there has been no material change in our situation, and we continue to consider our legal options. We cannot comment on the decisions taken by Kaur Kender with regard to his claim, to which we were never a party."

March 14, 2023. GamesIndustry.biz reports legal dispute between Studio ZA/UM and the game's producer Kaur Kender has been resolved.

"ZA/UM has announced that ex-staffer Kender has repaid all debts owed to it. Also, per a court order, Kender has repaid CEO Ilmar Kompus for legal fees from a lawsuit that was eventually withdrawn back in December. Additionally, he's divested all his shares in the games company.

Studio ZA/UM says both Kurvitz and Rostov have dropped their "unfair dismissal" claims due to lack of evidence. However, the company says it continues to face a "series of baseless allegations from former employees" and expects more claims to "fall apart under legal and factual scrutiny."

March 16, 2023. In a statement sent to GamesIndustry.biz, Kurvitz and Taal (alias for Aleksander Rostov) said the press release is false in multiple areas. The pair maintain they are the remaining minority shareholders of the studio. The developers explained, "The press release implies that our employment claims against the studio were withdrawn for lack of evidence. They were not. We see our dismissal as part of a larger campaign against us and will pursue legal options accordingly." The statement adds that they disagreed with Kender admitting the lawsuit he withdrew in December 2022 was misguided.

"Kender's lawsuit was based on the misuse of ZA/UM's funds (€4.8 million) by the majority shareholders [Ilmar Kompus and Tõnis Haavel] to increase their own stake in the company. In the press release, Kompus and Haavel admit to this misuse, arguing only that the money has been 'paid back to ZA/UM,' " the duo explained.

"Paying back stolen money, however, does not undo the crime; here, it does not undo the majority that Kompus and Haavel have illegally gained in ZA/UM."

Additionally, they described that, unlike Kender, they will not be silenced in this ongoing legal dispute. "Unlike Kender, we have not participated in the looting of ZA/UM, and Kompus and Haavel have no power over us."

March 23rd 2023. GamesIndustry.biz updates initial post with a reply statment from ZA/UM. The studio reiterated that Kender admitted that the lawsuit was misguided on his part. It said, "In addition, as part of a court order, he also paid the legal fees for CEO Ilmar Kompus, who had to respond to that now-withdrawn claim." ZA/UM adds, "Using details like 'looting,' 'stolen money,' and 'crime' make for riveting reading but are far from reality. The actual harm to the studio is not from some fictional 'looting,' but rather from Mr. Kurvitz and Mr. Taal, while employed by the studio, refusing to do their jobs, creating a toxic workplace, demeaning colleagues, and attempting to misappropriate Studio IP."

Additionally, the studio explained that Kurvitz and Taal are welcome to challenge these facts in court.

(The next court hearing is scheduled for September 11th.)

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter eleven: "The pieces this job takes"

Summary: The Reids welcome little Vinny, and Raven will have to deal with being a sister now. The team has to say good bye to a member, and Spencer will just have to deal with changes one more time.  Word count: 11.094 Warnings: This is a painful chapter for Spencer.  A/N: Sorry I couldn't post last week,  I had an accident (don't worry, I'm ok). I love Anderson's moment to shine in this chapter, and I hate putting Spencer through more trauma. Also, I was so sad writing Raven's tantrum... I totally understand her. 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter (post date: November 13th)

(Y/N)’s point of view 

Morgan took six months off after what happened to him. He had to recover mentally and physically, which was neither easy nor fast. I know some things happened to him he wasn’t sharing with us, not even with Savannah. He didn’t want to be a burden for her, and that’s a feeling I can absolutely understand.

We saw him a lot though, which was good. We were there for him the day he and Savanna got married in a beautiful ceremony, and he was there for us the day Vincent was born.

Considering the team was down two members, Hotch couldn’t let Spencer stay at Quantico the last couple of weeks before the baby’s due date. Of course, that means I was in the bullpen when my water broke.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder why we didn't leave the FBI sooner. I'm fully aware I keep saying the same the entire time, but it’s shocking how things were a hot mess and we never noticed. Why were we so blind?

I wanted to kill Hotch for forcing Spencer to go with the team to solve a case in Alabama when I was so close to my due date. I understood things were critical without Morgan on the team and with me not being able to fly. But yet, you’d expect some humanity. I guess sometimes work comes first for some people.

My water broke as I walked from Garcia’s office to my desk to pick up some files. I froze on my spot and didn’t know what to do for a few seconds. My mind went blank. That was not supposed to happen like that. Not with Spencer away. And definitely not in the middle of the office.

- “Anderson…”- I looked around me and found him at his desk, typing something.- “Sonny, can you help me?”

- “What happened, Reid?”- ever since I married Spencer, he has loved calling me by my new last name.

- “Uhm… can you come over?”

- “Give me a minute.”- and he kept typing, not even looking at me. I didn’t want to yell I was almost popping a baby right there, but my friend wasn’t giving me another chance.

- “I can’t wait. Please.”

- “Come on, Reid.”

- “Agent Grant Anderson, I need you. Now.”- a few other heads turned as my voice filled the bullpen. Anderson turned to me shocked, but I’m guessing my freaked-out face forced him to bite his tongue at whatever he was going to say and he rushed over to me.

- “What… oh shit.”- he looked at the puddle on the floor between my legs and understood it all in a second.

- “Yes.”- I cut him a short smile and took a deep breath. I had to do my best not to freak out too.

- “What now?”- Anderson whispered, remaining calm.

- “I need you to drive me to the hospital. Garcia is busy helping the team.”

- “Ok, do you wanna call Reid first?”

- “First, I wanna call my doctor. And I need to tell Garcia. Spencer is gonna freak out and there is no need to get him worried when this can still take a few more hours.”- I did my best to remain calm knowing as soon as Spencer knew what was happening, he was ditching the team and taking the first flight back home.

- “Ok, you wanna sit down while I get Garcia?”

- “I don’t wanna get the chair all dirty.”- I argued as Anderson moved a chair closer.

- “Don’t be silly, Reid. Sit down, I’ll bring Garcia and your phone so you can dial your doctor, ok?”- I simply nodded and watched him sprint across the office.

Raven took her sweet time when she was born, but not our Vincent. He was ready to take over the world in no time. Contractions hit me hard and I was worried my husband wasn’t going to make it on time to be with me during labor. Did I tell him? Of course not, I knew he was freaking out and I didn’t want to worry him anymore.

Spencer called me as soon as he could. I didn’t get to him the first time I dialed, so he got the news from Garcia when Anderson was taking me to the hospital.

- “I’m ok, honey. I promise.”- I whispered as soon as I heard his voice on the other side of the line.- “Doctor Feldmann is going to be waiting for me at the hospital, and Frank and Mikey are on their way over.”

- “I’ll ask Morgan to go too.”

- “He has his very own pregnant wife to take care of, hun.”- I reminded him, but I could almost see Spencer’s scowl all the way from Alabama.

- “I can’t believe I am not there with you.”

- “It might take a few more hours, so you’ll be ok. We’ll wait for you to start the fun part.”- I joked knowing there was no way I could predict that, but I needed to give Spencer some peace of mind.

- “I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ll call you when my flight arrives.”- I heard Spencer sigh at the other side of the line and my chest tightened knowing how bad he felt being away from me at that minute.

- “I love you so much honey bunny. Be safe, ok?”

- “I’m so sorry, chipmunk. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

- “I know. Please, take care.”

- “Ok, nugget. Your mom is on her way with Raven, I got you ice, and some marshmallows in case your sugar drops. I think we are covered. Do you have to start pushing already? Shit, I’m not ready for that. Please don’t start pushing yet.”- Frank rushed into my room, nearly hyperventilating. He paced across the room, clearly freaking out, as I stared at him, and the nurse raised an eyebrow.

- “Is he the dad?”

- “Nope-” I replied chuckling- “He is not even the godfather. Just my best friend.”

- “Basically I’m like a brother to you.”- Frank replied right away, and pretended to be shocked - “And I am not Vinny’s godfather? Are you serious? What are you talking about? I feel betrayed.”

- “I told you, it’s gonna be Mikey. You are Raven’s godfather. You can’t have all the kids.”

- “We are not having this conversation right now. You are clearly sedated.”- I chuckled and stared at my friend, who crossed his arms on his chest and looked at me from the end of my bed.

- “You do realize I haven’t gotten anything yet. I am not even…”- but a contraction stopped my words and ended that silly argument. Frank moved quickly to my side and held my hand tight. He didn’t even say a word, he just stared at me, obviously concerned, and waited until the pain had passed.

- “I’m so not having kids.”- he whispered after a few seconds, making me chuckle.

- “That’s ok, just can you check my vagina and see if I’m dilated already?”- I joked and saw the color leaving his face.- “I’m joking! Go out and wait for my mom. I’ll be fine.”

- “No way. I am not leaving you alone. I’m not getting anywhere near your vagina, but I am not leaving you alone until Spencer is here.”

And he didn’t leave. Frank stayed in my room until my husband got there, five hours later. Morgan, Mikey, and my mom kept me company too. They took Raven to get ice cream from the cafeteria and honestly helped me stay sane. Savannah, who was four months pregnant by then, and still dealing with all the nausea and morning sickness, helped keep me sane during the entire time. She was not only my friend, but also a doctor, and that always helped during delivery.

I will always be grateful for the family of friends we’ve created along the way.

Spencer’s point of view

It was a mess, nothing went as planned. I was in Alabama with the team and took the first flight back home. Garcia called me, nearly crying ‘cos she couldn’t go with my wife to the hospital, she had to work the case along with the team. I froze in place for a few seconds, not knowing what to do first.

- “Anderson is gonna drive her to the hospital. I'll be with her as soon as I can.”

- “I’m on my way.”- that was all I could say before I hung up and turned to Hotch.- “I have to leave. Now.”

Morgan, Frank, and Mikey had to take my place in the hospital while I was away. I nearly got into the pilot’s cabin and yelled at him to take us home faster if possible. Those were the longest four hours of my life, it was torture. I thought I was going to go crazy sitting there thinking my wife was alone in a hospital delivering our baby, and all because work forced me to be out of town.

When I finally got to the hospital, I rushed in flashing my FBI badge to everyone and anyone who could even think of trying to stop me. Am I proud of that? No. Do I regret it? Hell no! I just wanted to be with my wife as soon as possible, no matter what.

- “Reid!”- I heard Morgan’s voice as I rushed down the hall, trying to find the right room. He was with Savannah, Mikey, and Raven.

- “Dada!”- she escaped Mikey’s arms and ran to me. I squatted and opened my arms to hold her. - “Mommy said bad words.”

I chuckled at her comment and kissed her forehead as I stood up and walked toward our friends, who stood up as soon as they saw me.

- “I think today we can spare her a few bad words.”- I whispered into my daughter’s ear and heard her giggle.- “Guys, thank you for being here.”

- “Nothing to thank us for”- Morgan replied immediately- “You should put an eye on your pretty girl. She looked like she was about to pop your kid five minutes ago.”- I widened my eyes, gave Raven to Mikey, and ran to the room.

(Y/N) was squatting on a ball, holding her mother’s hand as Frank kneeled beside her, talking nonstop and looking honestly confused.

- “Oh thank god.”- he mouthered the second he saw me. I rushed in and held my wife tight. She grunted and shook in my arms. That’s when I realized how late I was.

- “I’m here, ma cherie. I’m here.”

- “I know. Vincent is almost here too.”- she whispered and didn’t let go. For a few minutes, it was just us holding each other. I wanted to ask her to forgive me for being so late, but words didn’t leave my lips. Instead, I just kept her close to me for a little longer.

- “I’m gonna get the nurse.”- Sofia said, probably to give us some privacy.

- “And I'm gonna leave this room before our friendship is forever scarred with gore scenes I will never be able to forget.”- Frank added and walked to the door.- “I’ll be out with the guys and my goddaughter.”

- “Thank you.”- that’s all I managed to say, but I’ve always been sure he understood the depth of my words. For a few minutes, it was just us. (Y/N) asked me to help her move to the bed, and I wrapped my arms around her to help her support the weight of her belly.

- “Did you tell Hotch I hate him for keeping you away?”- she muttered in the middle of what was clearly a very painful contraction.

- “Yes, I did.”

I did not. It wasn’t necessary, (Y/N) had made it clear before we left for the case that she was never going to forgive Hotch if the baby was born while I was out of town. The entire team knew it, my wife hadn’t been subtle at all. She stood next to the elevator's door before we left for the case, looked him in the eyes, and said: “If the baby is here and Spencer is still away, I won’t be back for work, ever again.”

- “Good.”- she whispered as I helped her sitting on the hospital bed.- “Honey Bunny, I think I’m ready to push.”

- “Wait just a few more minutes. Your mom is coming with the doctor.”

- “Shit, fuck, for Christ's sake! What shitted mother fucker thought this fuckery was in fact fair for women??!- my wife shouted every curse with such profound heart and pain, it was clear she needed more medication. Who knew when she had gotten her epidural.

- “You know, the first thing Raven told me when I got here was how you had said many bad words today.”- I whispered in her ear as I kept rubbing her back, trying to help her through the pain.

- “I fucking told Mikey to take her out, I didn’t want her to be traumatized and watch me losing it in pain.”- (Y/N) seemed mortified.

- “It’s ok, I told her you were allowed to curse a little today.”- Sofia and a nurse walked into the room, and a doctor followed them a few seconds after.

- “Ok Mrs. Reid, your baby boy seems to be ready.”- doctor Feldmann announced as he sat at the end of the bed and checked on my wife.

- “He feels ready as well.”- she mumbled, doing her best to be strong. I just scooped a little closer and held her a little tighter. I’ve never known what to do during delivery but praying and holding her hand tight. Being next to her while she delivers our babies is magical and agonizing at the same time. I will never love the process, not if I know she is going through an excruciating pain and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

It only took thirty minutes and Vincent Spencer Reid was there with us. His soft cries filled the room and my heart stopped. He was so small, so innocent, so vulnerable. Dr Feldmann placed him on (Y/N)’s chest and she caressed his back carefully, as the two of us stared at him with a loving smile on our lips.

- “Hello baby boy.”- she whispered and her voice shook as tears fell from her eyes.- “Aren’t you a pretty boy. My pretty boy.”

- “Hey there, Vincent. I’m your dad. Hello.”- I ran my fingers down his tiny arm and smiled at him.- “I hope you like baseball ‘cos it’s the only sport I’ve managed to learn so far.”

- “Maybe he’ll teach you, look at those hands, they are so big.”- (Y/N) whispered and touched his fist with her index - “Looks like the hand of a basketball player.”

- “Or maybe he’ll be an artist.”- I suggested and (Y/N) looked at me with a bigger smile.

- “I would love that.”- I stared into her eyes and caressed her cheek a few times, then ran my fingers up to her temples, and wiped a little of her sweat off before kissing her.

- “You did you good, ma cheriè. I’m so proud of you.”

- “I’m glad it went well and that he is here. Wanna go tell the rest?”

- “Not yet.”- I whispered and touched Vinny’s back one more time, enjoying the feeling of having my son there with me for the very first time - “Give me another minute of this.”

- “All the time you want.”- my wife answered and chuckled- “We have a son.”

- “We have a son.”- I smiled at those words and tears blurred my vision for a moment. I had a son, and he was perfect. Life was perfect.

Mikey stood up the second he saw me and his smile mimicked mine as I announced Vinny was there and that everything had gone well. He, Frank, and Morgan hugged me, tapping on my back, and congratulating me. Well, us. I smiled at them as I turned to Raven and opened my arms for her. She was cuddled in Sofia's arms and hesitated for a few seconds before moving toward me.

- “Come on birdy. Do you wanna see mommy and meet your brother?”- Sofia kissed her cheek and encouraged her to go with me, but she still wasn’t sure. I held her and kissed her cheek a few times before announcing.

- “(Y/N) said you guys can come in and say hi after Raven meets her brother. He really wanted to hang out with her first.”

- “Of course man.”- Morgan replied.- “Your baby boy has to meet his big sister first.”

- “I’m not big.”- Raven whispered.- “I’m a baby too.”

I should have seen that reaction coming, honestly. Raven hadn’t been excited during the first few months of (Y/N)’s pregnancy. She actually threw a massive tantrum the day we explained to her what was happening. It hadn’t been easy and Frank stepped up as her godfather and helped her see the benefits of having a little brother. However, we knew Raven would get jealous no matter how. And it was our job to show her nothing was going to change.

- “Baby girl, are you ready?”- I whispered as I held my daughter in my arms and started walking to the room. Raven hid her face on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around me very tight. I could almost feel her little heart beating hard inside her chest. It was a big day for her. The same as it was for us.

- “Hey birdy!”- (Y/N) whispered from her bed, where she sat, nursing Vincent.- “Vinny was just asking for you.”

Raven’s curiosity was bigger than her fear, clearly, ‘cos she slowly moved her face from my neck and turned to look at her brother.

- “Look, that’s your brother, Vincent.”- I sat next to (Y/N) and Raven moved in my arms, trying to get the closest look she could to her brother. She was silent judging the baby. I kept my eyes on her as she raised her little hand and carefully pressed a finger on his cheek.

- “He is so Squishy!”- Raven whispered and giggled.- “Vinny is squishy!!”

- “Yes, he is. And he is very tiny, are you gonna help us teach him all the fun things we do?”- my wife held Raven’s small hand and placed a kiss on it, making our daughter giggle one more time- “Like singing and playing and having tea parties?”

- “Can he wear a tiara?”- I tried not to chuckle at her question ‘cos she was incredibly serious about it.

- “If he wants to, of course.”

- “Don’t worry Birdy. We are still going out every Saturday morning on our dad and daughter dates.”

- “Just us?”- Raven looked at me and her little eyes shone with excitement.

- “Just us.”- I murmured and kissed the top of her head.

- “Do you wanna hold him?”- (Y/N) asked and Raven couldn’t believe it.

- “Yes Mommy!! Please!!”

- “Ok, sit here next to me.”- and as our daughter followed all the instructions my wife gave her and I placed a pillow on her small lap, I stared at the scene unraveling in front of me as I did my best not to cry, but tears kept filling my eyes. My daughter was now a big sister and was holding her little brother in her arms. I chuckled and locked eyes with (Y/N) for a moment. And as we smiled at each other, all I could think of was: I have two kids. Everything I do, I do it for my wife and our two kids.

You don’t know how that thought can change a person. The way it made me feel so much stronger and weaker at the same time. I would do anything for my family. I would fight the world to keep them safe. And at the same time, it petrified me knowing I was now living with my heart outside my chest. They were all I had, all I loved. My entire life.

I never thought I’d have a conversation about this a few months later, with Morgan, right after he came back to the team. We first had a surprise baby shower for him and Savannah in the meeting room. She was nearly on her due date and Morgan was clearly freaking out about becoming a dad, so we tried to help him relax a little and share a nice moment before a big case. (Y/N) was already back working, so she organized everything with Garcia and Savannah. Raven was in Playground and Sofia took care of Vincent while we worked, and though life was crazy, you could say we were managing.

We had a case that very same day that took us to Witchita, a double homicide and a child abduction. It hit differently when they were kids involved. To all of us now, but I’m guessing Morgan wasn’t ready to be back on the field and dealing with something like that.

We were in the police office, just us, going over some information while the rest of the team gathered a few things. I was going over some info, and Morgan seemed lost, sitting there, his mind and thoughts just weren’t in the room with us.

- “The glue our unsub used is sold practically everywhere, so we can't isolate the point of purchase.”- I pointed out as I read one of the files we had.- “A mineral analysis from the sand, however, indicates that it came from the Seneca River in upstate New York.”

Morgan didn’t reply. I doubt he even heard me. I kept my eyes on him as I straightened up and walked a little closer to him.

- “You ok?”

- “Yeah.”- he replied, but his eyes were so sad and concerned it was clear he was not, in fact, ok.

- “Morgan, we're gonna find the people who tried to kill you.”- I said as I sat on a chair in front of him, trying to reassure him that things were going to be ok. But that was not what clouded his mind, not that minute at least.

- “He was in his pajamas.”- he mumbled, staring at a point on the wall. He must have felt I wasn’t getting where he was going, ‘cos he quickly added. - “Ronnie Brewer. Out there by the side of the road, he was still in his pajamas.”

I looked at my hands and took a deep breath. That was a fact I knew, but I was trying my best not to overanalyze it. Not to imagine my kids in his place either. Not to lose it in the middle of an investigation. It’s hard to keep your head cold. You might think it gets easier with the years, but no. It only gets worse. The more you get involved in the cases, the more parts of you you give.

- “I'm sorry, kid.”- Morgan tried to justify his behavior.- “I, uh, I don't know, man. Six months on the sidelines. I guess I still have a few blisters where I used to have calluses.”

- “I don't think that's what this is.”- I say looking straight at his face with a short smile.

- “Oh, no?”- I shook my head when he stared at me confused - “Then what is it?”

- “You're about to be a dad. You know? You have to expect the world to start to feel different.

- “Did it happen to you?”

- “Of course. And it’s terrifying!”- I confessed and tried to be as honest as possible, ‘cos maybe that would help him relax a little. He sighed and held his head with one head for a minute, trying to focus and rearrange his thoughts.

- “It just feels so hard. Not as in difficult. Literally hard.”- Morgan started explaining how he felt. And it was something that I could definitely understand. - “Like asphalt is hard. Like pavement.”

- “And children are soft.”- I added, and the thought of Raven touching Vincent’s cheek saying how “squishy” he was filled my mind and my heart with love and fear. These two feelings that, apparently by rule, always came together in my life.

- “Yeah. Defenseless.”- Morgan added, mumbling under breath.

- “That's why every day we try to make this world a little safer.”- I said and tried to smile at him, though the frown on his face didn’t move.

- “How do you do it? You have two, you’ve seen the worst people can do.”

- “We are making a change, one day at a time. I will never look at the world the way I did before I was a father. But it helps knowing there are people like us, catching bad guys. I guess focusing on the good instead of the horror is what keeps me going.”

Morgan stared at me in silence, like analyzing everything I had just said. For the first time in my life, I felt like he was the one who needed my help. I was usually the one lost in a world with too many messages I couldn’t understand. And Morgan was the one helping me decoding them and teasing me about it.

But not this time.

- “If there's one thing I'm sure of, is that you and Savannah are going to be great parents.”- I added and smiled at him. Morgan chuckled and realized the position we were at. Me, giving him advice for once.

- “Charge by the hour, Doc?

- “Yeah, but you need to book your appointment at least two days ahead.”- I teased and my friend finally laughed. For the first time in what seemed to be years.

(Y/N)’s point of view

I tried to be rational. I swear. But after baby number two and going back to work, I hated how everything had changed. I could feel it around me, and I know Spencer felt it too, though I’m not sure if he felt it at the same level I did.

It was clear Morgan was leaving. I could feel it in my guts the second he walked back to the bullpen after those six months away, and I tried to prepare my husband for it. Change is part of life, that I can not change (see what I did there?). But that doesn’t mean we are always gonna love each one of the changes of ties that life sends our way. Derek had the right to start a new life, and the time felt right. It made me wonder, yet again, if leaving the BAU was the right path to follow. But at that time, it didn’t make as much sense as it does now. I guess I wasn’t ready to deal with everything that would unravel with time.

One of those things was so embarrassing I kept pushing it aside and failed. But it was so incredibly embarrassing, that I couldn’t tell anyone but Lu.

I was jealous. Seriously jealous. Of JJ.

At that time it was mainly because my stomach kept telling me there was something odd about how sometimes, especially during cases. She acted somehow territorial about Spencer. Like he was hers. That made no sense, obviously. He was my husband and only her friend. I wasn’t proud of how I felt, but a voice deep inside of me kept warning me about her attitude.

But instead of listening to my instinct, I tried to bury it. I excused my own brain, telling myself it was all because I had just had a baby and I was feeling insecure. Which was probably true, in part. But there was something about how JJ always found an excuse to be close to my husband that bothered me the second I came back to work after my maternity leave.

It didn’t really help that we were under similar conditions. Both had two kids and husbands on the field. A very demanding job, eyes for Spencer the entire time he was around. And it felt like she had her shit together, not like me, who struggled every day. Not JJ. She was fucking perfect. From her hair to her attitude and her outfits. There was no way she was a mother of two, her body was, for lack of a better word, perfect. I was filled with stretch marks underneath my clothes, making me feel incredibly self-conscious. I knew it was normal, I had two babies, my body was going to change, and Spencer seemed to be ok with that. But it felt unfair. JJ looked the same. I looked like a mom. I hated it.

- “You do realize you are being incredibly hormonal about this. Right?”- Lu suggested one afternoon when I managed to call her in between kids, cases, and house chores. Spencer had taken Raven to the store to get some things I needed to cook dinner, and Vinny was napping. So I called my friend as I started catching up with laundry.

- “Define being hormonal, please.”

- “You are not being rational, and you always keep your head cold, and this is so not you. Who cares about JJ? Spencer loves you!”

- “I know, but… she is so much better than me in every single fucking way. It’s annoying.”

- “That’s all in your head!”- I could basically hear my friend’s grin through the line. - “All this ‘cos you are no longer a size… what’s your size again?”

- “No! all this ‘cos I feel like a big fucking failure!”

- “How are you even failing? You do more in a day than Frankie does in a year.”- I tried not to chuckle at the comparison because I was trying to show her how upset I was.

- “I mean it, Lu! I know this is not a competition, but what if Spencer realizes I am a shitty wife, a lousy mother, and a sickening sight when naked.”

- “Aren’t you being silly? That man has loved you since before he could even start talking to you or even looking you in the eye. So stop it.”

- “He loved her first”

- “He had a silly crush on her before he met you. That’s it. You’ve always felt threatened by her. It’s not just now. And that’s because you can not believe something this good could happen to you. But it did, so be grateful and enjoy it.”- Lu gave a very compelling speech, I gotta admit. But one thing kept bothering me.

- “What if she is in fact in love with him and tries to do something?”

- “Then she is the most stupid FBI agent I’ve ever met.”

I remember chuckling at her response, thinking if JJ ever tried to make her move on my husband, not only I was going to go absolutely unsub with her, but probably Lu, my mom, and even Frank and Mikey could definitely bring her down.

But, much as I tried, things had changed. I could feel it. It was obvious even when nothing was happening at the bullpen. And it was clear the second Morgan came back to work. He wasn’t the same man that had left six months earlier. None of us were anymore.

The last case we worked with Morgan was the worst we had had since he had been kidnapped.

Savannah got shot. That day we were about to leave the bullpen when Garcia got the call. Spencer was talking with JJ as I grabbed all my things, already late to Raven’s school spring recital. Our daughter was so excited about the recital, her class was going to sing a song and she had practiced for weeks. She was confident she was good at it, and all she could talk about was how much she wanted to show her dad how well she and her friend were going to sing. It broke my heart to miss that show. I know it broke Spencer’s as well.

Pen rushed over, tears already falling down her cheeks, as she explained what had just happened. Morgan was at the hospital with Savannah. They were trying to save her and their baby. Things didn’t look good. In a second we were running to the elevator and Hotch drove us to the crime scene.

You don’t know how hard it is to call it a “crime scene” when it’s the place your friend was hurt. Hotch tried to keep Derek out of the investigation for obvious reasons, Morgan wasn’t in his right mind. None of us were, to be honest. But I knew keeping him out of the investigation was basically impossible. So I entered mode S.A.A Reid, and hid all my fears and worries, even my daughter’s deception (I knew I was going to deal with that later). I needed to help our friends.

I called my mom from the car. I tried to explain what had just happened and why we couldn’t be there with our daughter. We jumped out of the SUV as soon as we got there, Morgan was trying to cross the police line, looking like a madman. I heard him yelling “That’s my team” before JJ walked over and explained to the police he was in fact an FBI agent and not a psycho. I couldn’t blame him, I would look the same if my family had been hurt. I know I did when it happened. You see red when they hurt someone you love.

- “Tell me you got something.”- Morgan demanded, fire in his eyes as he spoke to us.

- “A casing and a rifle up on the roof.”- Rossi explained in a single line everything we knew.

- “This guy isn't sloppy. He's sending us a message.”- JJ added, but really didn’t say anything new. I turned to Morgan and held his hand for a moment, giving it a small squeeze, trying to comfort him. He was hot, and anger was running through his body as adrenaline kept him going.

- “Garcia, we need to access the surveillance footage.”- Hotch said and Pen nodded immediately.

- “Of course. I'm on it.”- and off she went.

- “What else we got?”- Morgan asked, and none of us said a thing. ‘Cause of course, after fifteen minutes, we didn’t have much to add.

- “That's it right now.”- Rossi sighed and shook his head

- “Where were you and Savannah standing?”- Spencer asked, first ‘cause Morgan was the only witness we had, and even under the stressful conditions he was under, he had to tell us what he saw. And second, ‘cos we had to keep him busy or that man was going to go crazy.

- “We were standing right over there on the side of my truck. We were just talking. She was to the back and I was facing her. I was the vulnerable one. I was the easy shot.”- Morgan finished that sentence screaming.

- “How's Savannah?”- I whispered, trying to calm him down.

- “She's in surgery.”- our friend’s voice was cracking, just like his strength. I grabbed his arms and pushed him with me to start walking.

- “Come on, let's check in. Rossi, are you coming?”- David nodded and started walking along with us.

- “You guys got this?”- Morgan asked and looked at the team. Spencer nodded and looked at me for a moment. He confessed sometime later that all he could think of that minute was that if that was me in the hospital, shot, he’d kill whoever was responsible for hurting me. I never forgot it 'cause I kept thinking the same thing.

We checked in at the hospital, where Rossi did most of the talking, and then we sat in a waiting room on the second floor.

- “Metro PD's gonna secure all the windows and have an officer placed in front of Savannah's room 24/7.”- David explained as Morgan walked and nodded, like a zombie.

- “Thanks.”- he mumbled though I know he didn’t process what Rossi had just said.

- “I got us a conference room down the hall to work in, and I'm getting access to the security cams right now.”- Penelope announced as she walked into the room, nearly hyperventilating.

- “Great. You two need coffee?”- Rossi offered

- “I’m good.”- Garcia replied immediately

- “No. Thanks.”- Morgan nearly bit Rossi’s head off as he replied. I couldn’t blame him, though, he was under stress, and he was going to be a nasty asshole until he knew Savannah was safe. Rossi looked at me and asked.

- “No cream, no sugar?”

- “Thank you.”- I whispered and cut him a short smile as he walked out of the waiting room.

- “Tara's donating blood in case Savannah needs more. It turns out they're the same type.”- Pen added as Morgan continued pacing across the room.

- “I’m a universal donor. I’m gonna sign up to donate for her as well.”- I said and turned around to leave. I knew Morgan well enough to leave him be for a moment. Now that he was in the waiting room, pacing and with Garcia, I could be useful somewhere else.

I was still signing papers when I heard Morgan storm out of the waiting room, smashing a pile of paper towels in a cart he found on his way down the hall. The nurses winced and I sighed as I grabbed my phone and read my husband’s text. Hotch had taken Morgan officially off the case.

- “Is he ok?”- Spencer texted me.

- “Nope. Stormed out. I’m donating blood for Savannah.”- I quickly replied. A nurse asked me to follow her to another room and got me ready to

- “Looking at the footage with JJ in the conference room.”- my stomach tightened at the thought of him and JJ being alone. But we were at work, and doing something incredibly important and personal. There was no time for jealousy.

- “I’ll be there in a second.”- I replied and put my phone back into my pocket. The nurse asked me to raise my sleeve, and for a couple of minutes, all I could do was pray for Savannah’s health.

- “So if security footage has no angles of the shooting or the rooftop, where does that leave us?”- Rossi asked as we all stood around the table, trying to find something new to call a clue that might lead us to the shooter.

- “We're running facial recognition on everyone in and around the hospital to see if they match any loose ends from Morgan's abduction.”- JJ announced as I sipped on my coffee. Hotch walked into the room that second. It had taken him an extra fifteen minutes to get there after I was done donating blood, which only meant one thing: whatever Morgan had said to him, got to him.

- “How did he take it?”- Spencer asked what we all knew had happened. Hotch’d face didn’t move when he simply replied

- “As expected.”- and that was all we talked about our friend’s emotional tantrum.

- “Sir, I know that when Morgan was on leave after his abduction, you encouraged him to stay away from the case.”- Garcia started explaining what we had all done behind Hotch and Rossi’s back.

- “And let me guess, he didn't.”- David interrupted her, and we all shook our heads.

- “We all knew in our hearts it wasn't over, and, look, we were right, so in an extra-curricular kind of way we kept sleuthing to see who was working with John Bradley.”- Garcia explained and I looked at Rossi with a shy and almost innocent smile.

- “Everyone needs a hobby, right?”

- “You of all people here have enough going on in her end to add more to her table.”- Rossi argued and Spencer frowned.

- “I helped her.”

- “Getting her pregnant again isn’t helping.”- David joked, and Hotch ignored us as he started talking.

- “Before he came back to work, Morgan said that he'd found a connection between the men who held him at the cabin and the Montolo family.”- Hotch added, looking at Rossi, who seemed lost. Like he never saw coming the fact none of us was going to let Morgan’s kidnap go.

- “Right. So, basically, we're dealing with a big crime family tree, of which Bradley was certainly a branch. And the Montolos had hired him multiple times.”- Garcia added, simply explaining we were obsessed with his case.

- “Did you scan the drawing?”- I asked her and she nodded.

- “Yeah, it's right here.”- at those words, Spencer leaned closer to look at the screen with me.

- “So, has everyone been working on this?”- Rossie asked, surprised.

- “Yeah.”- I said not taking my eyes from the screen.

- “Basically.”- my husband supported me.

- “Kinda.”- Pen added with a shy/busted smile and then she started explaining what we had. - “Ok, with Morgan's research, plus our bad guys/gals tree here, we've cut all the legs off the evil table. So like look… you got assassin mother, father, siblings, all deceased, one aunt in therapy for family trauma, and each line is like that.”

- “Montolo's line's the shortest of them all.”- Spencer pointed out - “The only living child of Chazz and Rosemary Montolo. Rosemary died when Giuseppe was just a boy.”

- “When you thought your family was fucked up…”- I shook my head at my own words, trying to ease the mood ‘cos for the life of me, I can’t deal with so much gravity from time to time.

- “Right. And then Giuseppe went to live with his family in Italy, and Chazz went off to build a criminal empire.”- Pen added. Rossi walked to me and grabbed one of the files.

- “Looks like Chazz Montolo was killed last year.”

- “Yeah, in a bank fire in Germany. Got a positive I.D. On the dental and fingerprints.”- Pen even showed him the newspaper of the fire.

- “One week after his son was murdered. What if that's not a coincidence?”

- “So whoever poisoned the son also killed the father.”- JJ suggested, but I shook my head, reading Hotch’s mind.

- “Or he staged his own death so we wouldn't suspect him of this.”- I said and felt Spencer’s hand resting on my lower back as I spoke, supporting and comforting me.

- “Hey, wait, wait, wait.”- Pen suddenly freaked out and started typing as fast as she could- “I only ran facial recognition on living people for obvious reasons, but this guy right here, walking out of the hospital, this guy, that is… That's Chazz Montolo.”

- “Well done, ma cherie.”- Spencer whispered in my ear and I turned to smile at him for a fraction of a second. We were finally going somewhere.

- “Garcia, play the footage.”- Hotch asked, and a few seconds later, we were all able to watch Montolo senior walking out of the hospital.

- “Mother fucker.”- I whispered thinking that asshole had been there with us in the building.

- “Garcia, contact the city, get access to traffic cameras. Now that we know he's here, we can find out where he went.”- but her phone ringing freaked her out before she could do anything.

- “Oh, wait, Morgan's calling me. I told him I'd keep him in the know before I knew it was an order that he wasn't supposed to know.”

- “All right.”- Hotch sighed and looked at me and my husband. - “Reids, you talk to Morgan. JJ, you and Garcia track Montolo and find out who his accomplices are. He doesn't work alone. Dave, you and I will find potential witnesses who might have seen him on the property.”

And before we could even argue or plan what we were going to tell our friend, we were forced to move and face him.

- “Wait, wait.”- I grab my husband’s sleeve and stop him- “We should get him something.”

- “I don’t think he is hungry.”- Spencer raised an eyebrow as he stared at me.

- “Still. Maybe something to drink to warm him.”

- “You wanna stress him more by adding caffeine to his body?”- he questioned me.

- “Hot chocolate?”

- “He will throw it on our faces.”- Spencer was probably right, but he could read my worry.- “Green tea?”- I nodded and walked to the closest vending machine.

- “Raven must be so angry with us.”- I whispered as I pushed a few buttons on the machine, and a cup with some suspicious-looking tea appeared in front of our eyes.

- “I know.”

- “We are gonna have to deal with her when we get home.”

- “I know…”- Spencer sighed and rubbed his hands against his face, trying to rearrange his thoughts. - "I really can’t deal with that right now.”

- “I know, I’m sorry. I just can’t stop thinking about her and Vinny, and if any of this happened to them, or you.”

- “I understand, ma cherie. So much.”- Spencer moved a step closer and kissed the top of my head.- “But right now we have to focus on helping Morgan. Ok’”- I just nodded and grabbed the cup of tea.

- “Ok.”- I looked at my husband and took a deep breath. I know he was doing his best to keep his head cold and focus on the case- “Alright, let’s do this.”

Morgan was back in the waiting room. He kept pacing, still looking like a madman. But now he was an angry madman. Angry with us ‘cos he knew we were keeping things from him.

- “Were you with Garcia?”- he asked as soon as we walked in.

- “Yeah.”- I replied and tried to smile at him, to maybe calm him down, or make him feel less threatened- “Here, we brought you a green tea.”

- “It won't make you as jittery as coffee.”- Spencer offered the cup to our friend and he grabbed it, but not without reading every single movement the two of us made. It was annoying, Frank was right.

- “You came instead of Garcia because you know I'd be able to read her.”- Morgan didn’t ask, it was a fact.

- “That is correct.”- Spencer nodded and whispered.

- “And Hotch sent you both here to see if I'm stable.”

- “He didn't say that, but…”- my husband made a pause and I just sighed.

- “Let’s say we were the chosen ones ‘cos Hotch trusted we could read you, and if you were too angry at him, we wouldn’t take it personally in case you’d yell.”- I couldn’t lie to Morgan, so I didn’t. He nodded and didn’t even try to say he wouldn’t yell. It felt good to know we were above that bullshit.

- “I don't get jittery.”- of everything we said, that was what Morgan wanted to point out. Why? I don’t know. Maybe that was an insult in his mind. He moved to the other corner of the room and left the tea on a little table Food, he wasn’t going to throw it in our faces.

- “Usually you don't, but your carotid tells a different story.”- Spencer started rambling- “I've counted 10 heartbeats in the last 3 seconds. That's about 20% higher than your usual when you're under stress.”- his voice was soft and almost shaky. My husband was nervous and worried. Scared.

- “I know you're only trying to protect me, I get it, but knock it off.”- Morgan nearly yelled, annoyed with his speech- “I just want to know what you've learned.”

- “Seriously, Derek. You know we can’t tell you.”- I sighed and shook my head.- “So don’t take it with us. We are just trying to help.”

- “If you were trying to help you’d tell me what the hell is going on”

- “We are doing our fucking best. That’s what’s going on.”

I know we didn’t plan it, but Spencer and I were doing the old “good cop, bad cop routine.” And I was the bad cop. Again.

- “When you first told me about Savannah, I'd never seen you like that.”- my husband started talking and his voice was still soft and sweet, trying to keep it together. - “The decreased levels of central serotonin in your brain cause intrusive thinking. When I finally saw you guys together, that's when I knew for sure. Your pupils dilated, your posture changed, and I saw you involuntarily reach for her hand. Science confirmed it. You've found the one.”- Morgan stared at him, speechless. - “Do you believe that?”

- “Yes.”- Derek replied, not an inch of hesitation in his voice.

- “Then believe this. Our team loves you, and we are not going to stop until we find whoever did this. But we can only do that with a completely dispassionate and unprejudiced point of view. Paternal instinct is a deadly bias that we just can't risk. It's for your protection, Morgan, I swear.”

- “Ok.” - Derek answered coldly, though you could almost hear the cogs in his brain going a hundred miles an hour.

- “You would do it for us, wouldn’t you?”- I asked him, and Morgan raised both eyebrows- “If we were you and you were us, you would try to keep us away from the information. Try to keep us calm. We did it with Kate when her niece was taken. Hotch and JJ did it for us when he pretended Em was dead. We did it for Garcia when the Dirty Dozen was trying to kill her. We’ve all done it. ‘Cos that’s what families do, they protect each other.”

- “The unsub is a father, isn't he?”- Morgan ignored my speech and looked right into Spencer’s eyes.

- “Why do you say that?”- my husband lied between his teeth as Morgan analyzed every single one of our movements.

- “A paternal instinct is a deadly bias? Those were your exact words.”

- “I meant… we are both fathers…”- Spencer was nearly sweating and I didn’t know how to help him.

- “I know what you meant. But that's what you said.”- Morgan stared at us, and neither of us said another word. So he simply walked away from us.

- “Shit, shit, shit.”- Spencer whispered and closed his eyes.

- “It’s ok, honey. We both knew it wasn’t going to be easy. And we would be the same under these sick circumstances.”

- “I know, I just…”- Spencer bit his lips as tears filled his eyes.- “I wish there was more we could do. He doesn’t deserve this.”

- “Who does?”- I held his hand and gave it a soft squeeze.- “You did well. It’s just hard keeping things from a profiler.”

- “He is my brother. And someone hurt his unborn child and wife. And all I can do is tell him things will be ok.”

- “We can help him, but he has to trust us.”- my phone ended our conversation. It was my mom, which only meant one thing: Raven’s presentation was over. And she knew we weren’t there.

- “Hello?”- I whispered and closed my eyes.

- “Mama…”- it was worse than my mom. It was Raven.

- “Hey there, birdy. How was the recital? Did you have fun?”- Spencer moved closer and I put our daughter on speaker. - “I’m with your dad at work. We are both so sorry we couldn’t be there today, Raven.”

- “Emma says I don’t have a mom or a dad.”- Raven was crying, and my heart broke as soon as I heard her.

- “What? Why?”- I knew Emma, she was three and a half years old, but that night, I wanted to kill that brat. I’m not proud about it.

- “You are never there.”- Raven wept and all I managed to do was hold Spencer’s hand as I turned to him. His tears ran down his face as he tried to get himself together.

- “I’m so sorry, Birdy. But we have to get the bad guys.”- my voice shook at the end of the sentence.

- “Why is it always you? Why can't Uncle Derek do it?”

- “Oh, Birdy”- Spencer mumbled and took a deep breath, trying to get himself together.- “We are helping Uncle Morgan right now get the bad guys.”

- “I just wanted to sing for you.”- Raven kept sobbing. - “Why don’t you love me?”

- “Raven Marie, we love you so much.”- I managed to say before I broke into tears. I hid my face in Spencer’s chest as he continued talking.

- “Your mom and I are very sorry we couldn’t be there today. We promise we’ll make it up to you.”- Raven didn’t reply, instead we heard my mother’s voice on the other side of the line.

- “I’m sorry kids. She wanted to talk to you.”

- “Thank you for taking care of her, Sofia.”- Spencer managed to say. I know he was trying to be strong, but honestly, both our hearts were broken.

- “Frank and Milkey came along. We are having ice cream and then I’m gonna take her home.”

- “We’ll pick her up as soon as we are done here.”- Spencer added.

- “Take care, kids. I know you are doing the best you can. And she will see that when she is old enough.”

- “Thank you, mom.”- I whispered and tried not to sob too hard.- “We’ll call you later, ok?”

- “Sure, peanut. Love you.”- I couldn’t talk anymore. I just broke into tears one more time as Spencer hung up and placed the phone in my pocket.

- “It’s ok, ma cherié”

- “It’s not ok. This is what I always hated about my dad’s job. This is what I swore to myself at ten years old I was never going to put my babies through!”- I sobbed against his sweater, feeling like the worst mother on earth. The sound of Raven’s cries on the other side of the phone had been way too much for me to deal with, especially considering what was going on.

- “This is wrong.”- I murmured and tried to put myself together. - “We don’t have time for this now. Derek needs us.”

- “It’s gonna be ok.” Spencer whispered as he wrapped his arms around me tightly. - “We are not going to miss any more recitals. And she is going to forgive us. She knows we are doing this to help other people.”

- “Spencer, she is about to be four, she doesn’t have to understand this. She needs her dad and mom.”- my husband kissed the top of my head and sighed.

Spencer’s point of view

The night Morgan became a dad was the night I understood he was going to leave us. My wife had pointed it out a few times before that, trying to prepare me for that moment, but I didn’t want to believe it. I thought we were going to be a team forever. But he had a new team. One that was more important than anything else.

It made me feel I was a lousy father for a moment. He was quitting to make sure his wife and kid were alright. It was something I had thought of many times until that day, but I had never found the guts to do it. I couldn’t blame him, though. He had been through hell and back.

Meanwhile, I kept overanalyzing everything that had happened that day, hell was waiting for us when we picked up our kids from Sofia’s house. Raven had refused to sleep and also refused to talk to us. Vinny was fast asleep when (Y/N) held him in her arms and kissed his forehead. Sofia offered us something to eat, but we just wanted to get home and get some rest. It had been an eternal day, and seeing our daughter’s teary eyes and hardened face made it even worse.

- “I don’t wanna.”- she argued right away as I tried to pick her up. Raven kept fidgeting every time my hands tried to reach her.

- “Come on, baby. We have to go home. Don’t you wanna go to bed? We can have a special breakfast tomorrow.”- I offered her, but she hid behind Sofia and started whimpering.

- “No! I don’t love you!”

- “Birdy, you don’t mean that.”- I whispered as I knelt closer to her. She stayed behind Sofia’s legs and refused to even look at me. Her eyes were filled with tears and I could see her struggling to both stay awake and not to cry. It was heartbreaking.

- “Raven Marie, we talked about this.”- Sofia moved and took my daughter in her arms carefully.- “Your mom and dad had to work tonight and they couldn’t go to your recital, but they still love you very much.”

But our daughter ignored my words, (Y/N)’s words, and her grandma’s words. Instead, she decided to give us the silent treatment and ignore us all the way back home.

(Y/N) made us some tea after she put Vinny in his crib, and I was struggling with Raven’s bedtime. She didn’t speak but refused to brush her teeth and put on her pajamas.

- “Birdy, I know you are upset. And you have all the right to be mad at me and your mom.”- I whispered as I sat on her bed and put my hands on her shoulders, trying to make sure she was paying me attention.- “But you have to know your momma and I were helping Uncle Derek. No one is more important than you, but when someone needs our help, we can’t turn our back on them.”

Raven refused to look at me, but at least she got into bed. I read her a short bedtime story, kissed her cheek, and wished her a good night before I left the room.

- “How is she?”- my wife asked as I walked into our room. She was already in bed, sipping her lavender tea.

- “Still angry.”- I untied my tie, left it on a chair, and unbuttoned my shirt before falling on our bed.- “She didn’t say a word.”

- “And she is just three… I don’t wanna think of our lives when our girl is a teenager.”- (Y/N) cut me a short mile, but it was clear she was trying to make lights off of what was happening.

- “I’m glad we still have a few more years until then, ma cheriè.”

We both stayed quiet for a moment. I grabbed the cup of herbal tea my wife had left on my bedside table and took a long sip.

- “Am I a bad mother?”- her whisper broke the silence and made me whip my head immediately.

- “You are not. Of course, you are not.”- I held her hand and kissed it, as tears fell from her cheeks.

- “We broke her heart, and she is three years old.”

- “She will forgive us.”

- “But how do I forgive myself?”- my wife broke into tears and I wrapped my arms around her, sitting her on my lap. I wanted to be strong for her, I wanted to find the right words to make her feel better. But I had nothing, ‘cos honestly, I was feeling very low.

- “Maybe we should quit.”- it was the first time one of us had said it out loud. I froze at her words. I didn’t see it coming. But my wife had been brave enough to say the words that had haunted my mind so many times.

- “Quit?”- I asked, half shocked, half confused. - “Morgan is gonna leave, what will do the team without us?”

- “What will our kids do without us?”

And I didn’t know what to reply to that.

- “Mommy…”- Raven’s voice ended that conversation, or the start of it. She stood at our door holding the stuffed unicorn Mikey had given her.

- “What is it, birdy?”- (Y/N) asked, sitting on our bed, whipping the tears from her face quickly.- “Did you have a bad dream?”

Raven shook her head as she walked slowly toward the bed. Her big brown eyes were filled with tears, and she kept biting her lower lip, the same way her mother always does when she is nervous.

- “Do you wanna sleep with us tonight, birdy?”- (Y/N) whispered and tapped on the bed. Our daughter nodded but didn’t move from the spot she was standing at. My wife stood up and took a few steps until she stood in front of Raven, kneeled, and opened her arms to our daughter, who nearly ran to her and wrapped her arms around her neck, sobbing.

- “I’m sorry mommy”

- “It’s ok, baby. I’m sorry too.”

It was such a moving scene tears fell from my eyes as I stared at my wife and daughter hugging as they lay on our bed. I scooted closer to them and wrapped an arm around them, kissing Raven’s cheek and (Y/N)’s temple.

- “Your mommy and I love you so much.”- I whispered and watched our daughter sob a few times before she fell asleep on (Y/N)’s warm chest.

Neither of us said another word after that. We just laid with her on our bed, Vinny sleeping peacefully on his crib near us. I wanted to put a bubble around us all and never let anything hurt us.

I didn’t know it back then, but the only way I could do that was by quitting the BAU.

The following week, Morgan came back to the BAU for the last time. We all knew he was leaving, Hotch had told us. But it was still hard for all of us to deal with what it meant losing him in our team. In our daily basics.

When we walked to the bullpen’s door, I saw Morgan hugging JJ and I knew what was happening next. I knew he was there to say goodbye. It was going to be our last time there, and I didn’t feel I was ready to face it. So I left (Y/N) standing there alone and ran away to the meeting room.

Chicken much? Yeah, I know. But everyone knows I am not a fan of changes, and that day was especially hard for me. I was losing my brother. It wasn’t just another profiler leaving. It was my best friend we were talking about. And I was happy for him, of course I was. He got everything he ever wanted. It was just hard dealing with the guilt of not being as brave as him and doing the same for my family.

But of course, I wasn’t ready to deal with that truth just yet.

- “I know you hate goodbyes kid. And change.”- Morgan found me and walked into the room, facing the issue upfront. I wasn’t expecting anything less from him. I turned to face him, my eyes already filling with tears, and he cut me a warm smile, knowing how hard it was for me.

- “Hey. It isn't always a bad thing.”- he added- “And you’ve been getting better at dealing with changes. At least with changing diapers.”- I chuckle at those words. I liked the fact we could keep that conversation closer to the fun side because it was too painful to deal with.

- “You are gonna be better.”- I whispered and he smiled.

- “Only ‘cos I learned from the best.”- Morgan added and we both stayed in silence for a few seconds. Everything about saying goodbye to my best friend hurt. So I sighed loudly and finally accepted the truth.

- “I just can't imagine this room without you.”

- “So don't. Don't think about it.”- Morgan quickly answered, still smiling. - “Just know I'm always gonna be by your side. I'm just a phone call away.”

- “I know. Raven won’t let you go either. She loves Sunday brunch with you and Savannah.”- we both smiled for a moment, but tears quickly threatened to fall again.

- “I'm sorry I can't stay.”- Morgan apologized and I shook my head right away.

- “I don't want you to stay.”- I quickly replied thinking I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay either, but I also wasn’t ready to deal with that just yet.- “Because I know why you're leaving and I couldn't be happier for you.”- I simply looked at him with a smile, because I honestly didn’t want him to feel guilty about leaving. Still, his eyes watered up as he took a step closer and grabbed something from his back pocket

- “Listen, we were gonna mail these, but I wanted you to have a birth announcement first.”- he opened the envelope and handed the announcement. I didn’t know what to say or how to react to it. So I just read it out loud, feeling a knot in my throat.

- “Hank Spencer Morgan.”- my voice broke as I stared at the picture of baby Hank in my hands. I couldn’t stop smiling as I looked at it. It was the sweetest gesture. It was more than I deserved. My best friend had named his baby after me. What had I done in life to deserve that much love from him?

- “Yeah. Hank is for my pops. But Spencer is for the best little brother anybody could ever ask for.”- his words were too much, and before I knew it I was sobbing. Morgan wrapped his arms around me and tapped on my back as he whispered.

- “I love you, kid.”

- “I love you.”- I replied knowing he was doing the right thing. It was just too painful to deal with how it felt at the moment. But it was meant to happen.

- “So, look, my little dude, he's gonna need a favorite uncle. To teach him everything he knows about life. And chess.”- Morgan chuckled at his words and I nodded smiling.

- “I can do that.”

- “I know you can.”

- “Which reminds me, I’m gonna need you to teach me how to play soccer, so I can teach Vinny eventually.”- my answer made him laugh.

It was comforting knowing Morgan was leaving the team, but he wasn’t leaving my life. That was a big change. We weren’t going to stop meeting, he wasn’t walking out of my life. He was just taking a step back from work and focusing on his family. The

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[coochiequeens]

It bad enough men are being placed in a women's prison, but these scum?

By Genevieve Gluck September 11, 2024

A total of five male convicts were transferred to a Minnesota’s women-only prison following the adoption of a gender identity policy by the Department of Corrections in January of 2023. Two of the men who are now being held at MCF-Shakopee , a female correctional center, are sexual predators serving sentences related to the abuse of children.

Another, Sean Windingland, 35, sexually assaulted two 6-year-old relatives and posted videos of the abuse and grooming on pornography and pro-pedophile websites.

Windingland admitted to engaging in sexual contact with the young girls when questioned by investigators, but claimed that the children had consented. He pleaded guilty to two counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct in 2019. Windingland is now serving his 36-year prison sentence among women at MCF-Shakopee.

The third, Bradley Richard Sirvio, is a convicted murderer who is serving a life sentence. Sirvio, 52, beat a man to death with a hammer before setting his house on fire in November of 1995. A repeat offender, Sirvio has several other convictions that include multiple charges of assault, burglary, and theft. He was quietly transferred to MCF-Shakopee in November 2023, a full five months ahead of the date that a newly-drafted gender identity policy was set to take effect.

Bradley Richard Sirvio. Source: Minnesota DOC

The two remaining men confirmed by Reduxx to have been transferred into the women’s prison are Nathan Charles Johnson, serving two years for aiding and abetting a burglary, and a trans-identified male who uses the name Christina Suzanne Lusk, but was born Craig Lusk.

In June 2022, Lusk launched a discrimination lawsuit against the Minnesota Department of Corrections which ultimately resulted in the implementation of measures permitting male convicts to be housed in the female estate. Lusk, who was serving a five-year sentence for the possession of methamphetamine at the Moose Lake correctional facility for men, was backed by the trans activist non-profit organization Gender Justice – which was recently revealed to have received nearly $500,000 in taxpayer funds from the administration of Governor Tim Walz.

The Democratic vice presidential nominee’s office handed out $448,904 to Gender Justice just one year after the organization filed the sex discrimination complaint against Minnesota’s DOC on behalf of Lusk, according to a review of public records published by the taxpayer watchdog group OpenTheBooks.com.

Lusk was arrested on two drug-related felonies, but was ultimately only convicted on one after striking a plea deal. He pleaded guilty to first degree possession of a controlled substance, and was sentenced to 98 months in prison. The defendant fact sheet lists Lusk’s gender as “male,” though he had changed his legal name the year prior.

Lusk had a previous felony conviction for first-degree robbery.

The legal claim, which was successful in court, demanded that Lusk be transferred to MCF-Shakopee and refers to him as “a woman who was assigned male at birth”, using feminine pronouns throughout.

“Gender identity refers to a person’s innate sense and deeply held understanding of their own gender. Everyone has a gender identity,” reads the complaint. Lusk began taking female hormones in 2009 and received chest implants in 2017.

Gender Justice further demanded that Lusk be given “women’s undergarments,” and claimed that DOC “punished Ms. Lusk for having breasts and for wearing women’s clothing.” Additionally it was stated that Lusk was “repeatedly misgendered and misnamed”.

Craig ‘Christina’ Lusk shortly after undergoing a chest implant procedure in 2017.

As previously reported by Reduxx, a Facebook account belonging to Lusk showed that he was obsessively posting about seeking female sexual partners, and that he wanted “a bride from Japan”.

As a result of a settlement between Gender Justice and the DOC, Lusk was awarded a $495,000 payout, of which approximately $250,000 was allocated to cover the cost of legal fees. The DOC also rolled out a new policy that would streamline the process for male convicts to transfer into the women’s prison.

The legal team responsible for arguing Lusk’s case was honored with the title “Attorneys of the Year” by law publication Minnesota Lawyer.

The new transgender inmate policy, which was revised in April last year and came into effect at the beginning of April 2024, established an Agency Gender Identity Committee in order to identify and make placement recommendations for “incarcerated people who are transgender” or “gender diverse”. The document cites as an authority the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), a lobbying group that Reduxx has repeatedly connected with sex offenders and sexologists sympathetic to pedophiles.

Christina Lusk.

This week, a woman formerly employed at the Minnesota Department of Corrections came forward to tell Alpha News that she had resigned from her post in protest of the new policy allowing men who claim a transgender status to be transferred into the female prison estate. Alicia Beckmann, who worked as a GED instructor at MCF-Shakopee, says the policy which prioritizes “gender identity” over biological sex creates an “unsafe environment.”

“I think it has just created a lot of risk, a lot of unknown confusion, frustration, anger,” Beckmann said. “It just has a vibe that doesn’t sit right with a lot of us who work at Shakopee because we are a women’s correctional facility.”

“We house every custody level. We have what would be considered low-level offenders who are there on DWI charges, theft charges, drug possession. Then, you bring in biological males who are violent, who would be housed at a custody level four facility. I just believe we’re re-victimizing some of these women, re-traumatizing them. They are incarcerated, however, they all have a past and a lot of their past includes physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. I think allowing men to live amongst these women is traumatizing and it’s also unsafe for staff,” she added.

Beckmann remarked that the policy had caused a climate of fear among staff at the women’s prison. “We just fear saying anything. I’ve been away from the DOC now for a few months and I still fear any kind of retaliation from the agency for speaking out, and I’m speaking out for these women who deserve a chance to be rehabilitated and returned to society. I just don’t think the way they’re doing it is appropriate.”

[randomfoggytiger]

Scully's Abduction, Emily Sim, and the Lost Scully Baby

SOLVING SCULLY'S ABDUCTION DATES

The answer to the question of when Scully was returned differs here and there. Sometime after 11/2/94 and on or before 11/11/94 seems to be the consensus: themareks posits November 2nd, xfilestimeline.net guesses in-between the 2nd and 11th, and epguides stands by the 11th as both One Breath's airdate and Scully's reappearance.

But how long was Scully gone?

Mulder states in Emily: "She [Scully] was missing for four weeks. That's documented in the file."

And to further back up that abduction timeline, Mulder later finds a medical paperwork in the nursing home containing Scully's full name next to a possible abduction date: 13/10/94. At the very least, October 13 was when the government tagged her in their system, meaning Scully was likely abducted on the 12th or 13th and returned not on the 2nd but on the 11th.

WAS SCULLY IMPREGNATED DURING HER ABDUCTION?

Mulder's filed report contains another tidbit he never shared with his partner: it states (as read aloud by the official overseeing Emily's custody case) that Scully was "subjected to a series of experiments where... they extracted her ova."

The episode divulges the 'how's a few scenes later: abductees or unwitting volunteers were put into "beauty sleep" by the Syndicate doctors before being injected with a series of enhanced drugs to stimulate ovulation for extraction. Essentially, the women were put through a process similar to the early stages of IVF treatments, for far more nefarious purposes.

After the extracted ova were combined with suitable sperm or cloned with alien DNA, they were not returned to the womb but were instead grown separately in metal and glass containers filled with a green-not-gray alien liquid.

NURSING HOME MOTHERS

As is the end result of man playing God, the Syndicate pushed the bounds of their "science" by dabbling with the unconscionable: they darkened the doors of nursing homes, developing an extra preceding step that involved "awakening" and growing the ova of older women to maturation before subjecting them to the "beauty sleep." These women were the perfect targets, either too confused or too forgetful to intelligently articulate what was happening to them; and Dr. Calderon and his cohorts banked on repeating their experimental process for unlimited ova until death claimed their patients in natural or unnatural ways. (Unfortunately for Dr. Calderon, his aspirations were cut short when Mulder threatened exposure.)

So, to recap: the women were violated, not impregnated.

THE ROANOKE SCULLY

What's even worse?

While investigating the nursing home, Mulder not only finds the aforementioned paperwork listing Scully's full name and possible abduction date but also a corresponding fetus, alive and kicking, in its own little container of green fluid.

This, too, was Scully's child; and it, too, was likely killed or discarded as medical waste during the Consortium's coverup.

"NATURAL", CLONE, OR HYBRID?

Though not entirely explained in Emily (or after), the fetuses grew at unimaginably rapid rates from conception to "birth" in a month's time; but the cost of accelerated growth sacrificed their health, causing the babies born to be dependent on consistent injections of their mysterious gestation fluid in order to survive.

What were those babies, then? Clones? Hybrids? Fully human?

My personal theory? Emily was a hybrid. Not only would this fit the injections and extractions and underhanded IVF machinations in Season 8 (quality of its writing aside), but it would also correlate the mirroring aims of Emily's Dr. Calderon and Per Manum's Dr. Parenti. Parenti stuffed his batch of alien-human hybrid babies into identical containers of fluid, too (albeit for darker purposes.)

The episodes she appears in provides evidence of its own. Even though clones created from alien DNA bleed green and Emily bled red, her blood still released toxic fumes for self-defense, which means Emily's DNA couldn't have been fully human even if both ova and sperm were tampered with before insemination (a feat the Syndicate couldn't accomplish despite their many, many horrific attempts.)

CONCLUSIONS

Not only was Scully never pregnant but she was also never abducted more than once, making her an anomaly even amongst the other MUFON women. This leads me to believe the first round of experimentation inflicted on her was so severe that the Syndicate deemed Scully too great a risk for future harvesting... which was also likely why she was left to die (even if CSM "returned her to you" for a merciful death surrounded by the ones she loved.) Serving no further purpose to the Project, she had been considered waste and was, therefore, disposable.

Emily, too, was ultimately doomed to die after the Consortium or Dr. Calderon tired of his experiments; and if it hadn't been for Melissa Scully's ghostly interference, Emily Sim would have been torn from her parents the minute they stopped towing the line and raised elsewhere as a lab rat-- unloved and, again, tossed aside when deemed no longer necessary.

Finally, there's still one Scully child unaccounted for.

Existence begun and ended in obscurity, it was likely squirreled away or destroyed along with any remaining evidence of Dr. Calderon's work-- a loose end from a man no longer needed by his overlords.

However, the thought that Mulder was the only person other than its merciless creators to behold this tiny fetus is one best pondered on a dark, lonely night when one is in the mood for either melancholy or heart failure.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[mariacallous]

At 8:22 am on December 4 last year, a car traveling down a small residential road in Alabama used its license-plate-reading cameras to take photos of vehicles it passed. One image, which does not contain a vehicle or a license plate, shows a bright red “Trump” campaign sign placed in front of someone’s garage. In the background is a banner referencing Israel, a holly wreath, and a festive inflatable snowman.

Another image taken on a different day by a different vehicle shows a “Steelworkers for Harris-Walz” sign stuck in the lawn in front of someone’s home. A construction worker, with his face unblurred, is pictured near another Harris sign. Other photos show Trump and Biden (including “Fuck Biden”) bumper stickers on the back of trucks and cars across America. One photo, taken in November 2023, shows a partially torn bumper sticker supporting the Obama-Biden lineup.

These images were generated by AI-powered cameras mounted on cars and trucks, initially designed to capture license plates, but which are now photographing political lawn signs outside private homes, individuals wearing T-shirts with text, and vehicles displaying pro-abortion bumper stickers—all while recording the precise locations of these observations. Newly obtained data reviewed by WIRED shows how a tool originally intended for traffic enforcement has evolved into a system capable of monitoring speech protected by the US Constitution.

The detailed photographs all surfaced in search results produced by the systems of DRN Data, a license-plate-recognition (LPR) company owned by Motorola Solutions. The LPR system can be used by private investigators, repossession agents, and insurance companies; a related Motorola business, called Vigilant, gives cops access to the same LPR data.

However, files shared with WIRED by artist Julia Weist, who is documenting restricted datasets as part of her work, show how those with access to the LPR system can search for common phrases or names, such as those of politicians, and be served with photographs where the search term is present, even if it is not displayed on license plates.

A search result for the license plates from Delaware vehicles with the text “Trump” returned more than 150 images showing people’s homes and bumper stickers. Each search result includes the date, time, and exact location of where a photograph was taken.

“I searched for the word ‘believe,’ and that is all lawn signs. There’s things just painted on planters on the side of the road, and then someone wearing a sweatshirt that says ‘Believe.’” Weist says. “I did a search for the word ‘lost,’ and it found the flyers that people put up for lost dogs and cats.”

Beyond highlighting the far-reaching nature of LPR technology, which has collected billions of images of license plates, the research also shows how people’s personal political views and their homes can be recorded into vast databases that can be queried.

“It really reveals the extent to which surveillance is happening on a mass scale in the quiet streets of America,” says Jay Stanley, a senior policy analyst at the American Civil Liberties Union. “That surveillance is not limited just to license plates, but also to a lot of other potentially very revealing information about people.”

DRN, in a statement issued to WIRED, said it complies with “all applicable laws and regulations.”

Billions of Photos

License-plate-recognition systems, broadly, work by first capturing an image of a vehicle; then they use optical character recognition (OCR) technology to identify and extract the text from the vehicle's license plate within the captured image. Motorola-owned DRN sells multiple license-plate-recognition cameras: a fixed camera that can be placed near roads, identify a vehicle’s make and model, and capture images of vehicles traveling up to 150 mph; a “quick deploy” camera that can be attached to buildings and monitor vehicles at properties; and mobile cameras that can be placed on dashboards or be mounted to vehicles and capture images when they are driven around.

Over more than a decade, DRN has amassed more than 15 billion “vehicle sightings” across the United States, and it claims in its marketing materials that it amasses more than 250 million sightings per month. Images in DRN’s commercial database are shared with police using its Vigilant system, but images captured by law enforcement are not shared back into the wider database.

The system is partly fueled by DRN “affiliates” who install cameras in their vehicles, such as repossession trucks, and capture license plates as they drive around. Each vehicle can have up to four cameras attached to it, capturing images in all angles. These affiliates earn monthly bonuses and can also receive free cameras and search credits.

In 2022, Weist became a certified private investigator in New York State. In doing so, she unlocked the ability to access the vast array of surveillance software accessible to PIs. Weist could access DRN’s analytics system, DRNsights, as part of a package through investigations company IRBsearch. (After Weist published an op-ed detailing her work, IRBsearch conducted an audit of her account and discontinued it. The company did not respond to WIRED’s request for comment.)

“There is a difference between tools that are publicly accessible, like Google Street View, and things that are searchable,” Weist says. While conducting her work, Weist ran multiple searches for words and popular terms, which found results far beyond license plates. In data she shared with WIRED, a search for “Planned Parenthood,” for instance, returned stickers on cars, on bumpers, and in windows, both for and against the reproductive health services organization. Civil liberties groups have already raised concerns about how license-plate-reader data could be weaponized against those seeking abortion.

Weist says she is concerned with how the search tools could be misused when there is increasing political violence and divisiveness in society. While not linked to license plate data, one law enforcement official in Ohio recently said people should “write down” the addresses of people who display yard signs supporting Vice President Kamala Harris, the 2024 Democratic presidential nominee, exemplifying how a searchable database of citizens’ political affiliations could be abused.

A 2016 report by the Associated Press revealed widespread misuse of confidential law enforcement databases by police officers nationwide. In 2022, WIRED revealed that hundreds of US Immigration and Customs Enforcement employees and contractors were investigated for abusing similar databases, including LPR systems. The alleged misconduct in both reports ranged from stalking and harassment to sharing information with criminals.

While people place signs in their lawns or bumper stickers on their cars to inform people of their views and potentially to influence those around them, the ACLU’s Stanley says it is intended for “human-scale visibility,” not that of machines. “Perhaps they want to express themselves in their communities, to their neighbors, but they don't necessarily want to be logged into a nationwide database that’s accessible to police authorities,” Stanley says.

Weist says the system, at the very least, should be able to filter out images that do not contain license plate data and not make mistakes. “Any number of times is too many times, especially when it's finding stuff like what people are wearing or lawn signs,” Weist says.

“License plate recognition (LPR) technology supports public safety and community services, from helping to find abducted children and stolen vehicles to automating toll collection and lowering insurance premiums by mitigating insurance fraud,” Jeremiah Wheeler, the president of DRN, says in a statement.

Weist believes that, given the relatively small number of images showing bumper stickers compared to the large number of vehicles with them, Motorola Solutions may be attempting to filter out images containing bumper stickers or other text.

Wheeler did not respond to WIRED's questions about whether there are limits on what can be searched in license plate databases, why images of homes with lawn signs but no vehicles in sight appeared in search results, or if filters are used to reduce such images.

“DRNsights complies with all applicable laws and regulations,” Wheeler says. “The DRNsights tool allows authorized parties to access license plate information and associated vehicle information that is captured in public locations and visible to all. Access is restricted to customers with certain permissible purposes under the law, and those in breach have their access revoked.”

AI Everywhere

License-plate-recognition systems have flourished in recent years as cameras have become smaller and machine-learning algorithms have improved. These systems, such as DRN and rival Flock, mark part of a change in the way people are surveilled as they move around cities and neighborhoods.

Increasingly, CCTV cameras are being equipped with AI to monitor people’s movements and even detect their emotions. The systems have the potential to alert officials, who may not be able to constantly monitor CCTV footage, to real-world events. However, whether license plate recognition can reduce crime has been questioned.

“When government or private companies promote license plate readers, they make it sound like the technology is only looking for lawbreakers or people suspected of stealing a car or involved in an amber alert, but that’s just not how the technology works,” says Dave Maass, the director of investigations at civil liberties group the Electronic Frontier Foundation. “The technology collects everyone's data and stores that data often for immense periods of time.”

Over time, the technology may become more capable, too. Maass, who has long researched license-plate-recognition systems, says companies are now trying to do “vehicle fingerprinting,” where they determine the make, model, and year of the vehicle based on its shape and also determine if there’s damage to the vehicle. DRN’s product pages say one upcoming update will allow insurance companies to see if a car is being used for ride-sharing.

“The way that the country is set up was to protect citizens from government overreach, but there’s not a lot put in place to protect us from private actors who are engaged in business meant to make money,” Nicole McConlogue, an associate professor of law at the Mitchell Hamline School of Law, who has researched license-plate-surveillance systems and their potential for discrimination.

“The volume that they’re able to do this in is what makes it really troubling,” McConlogue says of vehicles moving around streets collecting images. “When you do that, you're carrying the incentives of the people that are collecting the data. But also, in the United States, you’re carrying with it the legacy of segregation and redlining, because that left a mark on the composition of neighborhoods.”

[asystol]

OFFICIAL PROFILE

         ᯓ FILE 000. — LEE, NICOLE ๋࣭

 ⩨͢  BASIC INFORMATION ⍣

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  BIRTH NAME.     nicole lee

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  KOREAN NAME.     lee nakyung

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀HANGUL.     이나경

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  ALIAS.     nikki ❪ given by julie, origin from her birth name ❫⠀ ⠀collie ❪ ‘ pronounced cole-lee ’ given by belle, origin from her birth name ❫⠀ ⠀nana ❪ given by natty, origin from her korean name ❫⠀ ⠀뿌 ppu ❪ given by haneul, origin is 뿌 is a cute expression like the ‘ 😁 ’ emoji ❫⠀ ⠀naky ❪ given by daniel, origin from her korean name ❫⠀ ⠀ttokki ❪ given by fans, origin from her representative emoji ❫ ⠀ ⠀nakorita ❪ given by haneul, origin from the pokemon chikorita ❫ 

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  DATE OF BIRTH.     april 1st, 2001

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  AGE.     23 years old

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  ZODIAC.     aries

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  CHINESE ZODIAC.     snake

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  PLACE OF BIRTH.     toronto, canada

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  NATIONALITY.     canadian

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  ETHNICITY.     korean

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  RESIDENCE(S).     port hope, ontario, canada ❪ 2001 — 2013 ❫⠀ ⠀chungcheongnam-do, south korea ❪ 2013 — 2015 ❫⠀ ⠀seoul, south korea ❪ 2015 — ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  LANGUAGES.     english ❪ fluent ❫⠀ ⠀korean ❪ near fluent ❫⠀ ⠀spanish ❪ advanced ❫⠀ ⠀japanese ❪ intermediate ❫⠀ ⠀thai ❪ beginner ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  GENDER IDENTITY.     cisgender female

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  PRONOUNS.     she/her

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  SEXUAL ORIENTATION.     bisexual

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  ROMANTIC ORIENTATION.     homoromantic

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  RELATIONSHIP STATUS.     single

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  HEIGHT.     163cm (5’4”)

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  WEIGHT.     —

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  BLOOD TYPE.     a

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  EYE.     brown

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  NATURAL HAIR.     black

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  BODY MODIFICATIONS.     lobe piercing ❪ left and right ❫⠀ ⠀upper lobe piercing ❪ left and right ❫⠀ ⠀industrial piercing ❪ left and right ❫⠀ ⠀helix piercing ❪ left and right ❫⠀ ⠀conch piercing ❪ left and right ❫⠀ ⠀belly button piercing⠀ ⠀‘ i am the somebody ’ tattoo ❪ right rib ❫⠀ ⠀strawberry tattoo ❪ left hip ❫⠀ ⠀koi fish tattoo ❪ behind right ear ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  FACE CLAIM.     nana of wooah

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  SPEAKING CLAIM.     nana of wooah

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  VOCAL CLAIM.     juria of xg

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  DANCE CLAIM.     yuna of itzy

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  RAP CLAIM.     rei of ive

 ⩨͢  CAREER INFORMATION ⍣

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  STAGE NAME.     NAKYUNG (나경)

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  COMPANY.     pledis entertainment ❪ 2015 — 2022 ❫⠀ ⠀off the record entertainment ❪ 2018 — 2021 ❫⠀ ⠀axs entertainment ❪ 2019 — 2021 ❫⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀swing entertainment ❪ 2020 — 2021 ❫⠀ ⠀s2 entertainment ❪ 2022 — ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  TRAINING PERIOD.     five in total ❪ skipping 2018 — 2021 ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  SURVIVAL SHOWS.     produce 48 ❪ 2018 ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  OCCUPATION.     idol

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  GROUP(S).     IZ*ONE ❪ 2018 — 2021 ❫⠀ ⠀KISS OF LIFE ❪ 2023 — ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  DEBUT DATE(S).     october 29th, 2018 ❪ IZ*ONE ❫⠀ ⠀july 5th, 2023 ❪ KISS OF LIFE ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  DEBUT AGE(S).     17 years old ❪ IZ*ONE ❫⠀ ⠀22 years old ❪ KISS OF LIFE ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  DISBANDMENT DATE.     april 29th, 2021 ❪ IZ*ONE ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  DISBANDMENT AGE.     20 years old ❪ IZ*ONE ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  POSITION(S).     vocalist, sub rapper, visual ❪ IZ*ONE ❫⠀ ⠀vocalist, center ❪ KISS OF LIFE ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  REPRESENTATIVE COLOR(S).     WISTERIA ❪ IZ*ONE ❫⠀ purple ❪ KISS OF LIFE ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI(S).     🦋 butterfly ❪ IZ*ONE ❫⠀ 🐰 bunny ❪ KISS OF LIFE ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  INDIVIDUAL FANDOM NAME.     nakyorita ❪ origin from chikorita + nakyung ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  INSTAGRAM USERNAME.     nicolee ❪ public, 11.4m followers, 14 following ❫

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  DISCOGRAPHY.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀COLOR*IZ.     october 29th, 2018

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Suki to Iwasetai.     february 6th, 2019

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀HEART*IZ.     april 1st, 2019

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Buenos Aires.     june 21st, 2019

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Vampire.     september 25th, 2019

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀BLOOM*IZ.     february 17th, 2020

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Oneiric Diary.     june 15th, 2020

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Thirteen.     october 21st, 2020

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀One-reeler / ACT IV.     december 7th, 2020

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀D-D-Dance.     january 26th, 2021

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Stardust love song.     march 6th, 2022

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀KISS OF LIFE.     july 5th, 2023

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Born to be XX.     november 8th, 2023

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Officially Cool (with BANG YEDAM).     february 9th, 2024

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Midas Touch.     april 3rd, 2024

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Sixth Sense.     may 25th, 2024

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀Sticky.     july 1st, 2024

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  KNOWN FOR.     placing second in produce48, the ‘listener’ for the yapper best friend (julie), her duality, accidentally kissing chaewon during a live, everyone’s parents loving her more than their own kid, the switch in concept between iz*one and kiss of life, her vocals, slapping/patting her members’ butts for no reason, belle recording her crying over the finding nemo movie, being the biggest moomoo, her stable cover of bad news while drunk, openly being a ‘gleek’, affectionately being called a loser in a hot body by fans, her sanrio themed room

 ⩨͢  PERSONAL INFORMATION ⍣

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  MBTI TYPE.     intj-a ❪ assertive architect ❫ 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀ANALYZING.     an assertative architect tends to have more self confidence than a turbulent architect, particularly when handling life’s ups and downs. if things do go the way they expect, an intj-a is not likely to second guess their initial actions or experience regret.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  POSITIVE.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀rational.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀ambitious.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀self-assured.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀adventurous. 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀observant. 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀efficient. 

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  NEGATIVE.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀arrogant. 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀impulsive. 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀impatient. 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀nosy. 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀withdrawn. 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀rigid.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  FAMILY.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀joshua lee ❪ father ❫ 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀angie lee ❪ mother ❫  † ❪ 1975 — 2021 ❫

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀daniel lee ❪ brother ❫ 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀ciara lee ❪ sister ❫ 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀kim seoyoung ❪ maternal grandmother ❫ † ❪ 1955 — 2018 ❫

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀park hojin ❪ maternal grandfather ❫ 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀park jaewoo ❪ maternal uncle ❫ 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀park sooyoung ❪ maternal aunt ❫ 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀lee jihyuk ❪ paternal grandfather ❫ † ❪ 1950 — 1994 ❫

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀jung yeonhee ❪ paternal grandmother ❫ † ❪ 1954 — 2011 ❫

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀lee eunbyul ❪ paternal aunt ❫ 

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  HISTORY.    

 ⠀⠀  ⠀nakyung was born on april 1st, 2001 as nicole lee in toronto, canada. she grew up in port hope, ontario, canada with her older brother, daniel, and younger sister, ciara. her mother, angie, worked as a middle school music teacher and her father, joshua, was a construction worker.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀she became interested in music early on, her mother teaching her how to play guitar and piano as soon as she was old enough. when nakyung wanted to be a singer “just like stevie nicks” at eight-years-old, angie put her in vocal lessons.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀after being persuaded by her best friend, she joins the free ballet classes at her school with her. she starts to take dance and her vocals more seriously, finding it more fun than instruments. 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀when she’s thirteen, her parents tell her and her siblings that her mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer the year before. they wanted to wait to see if chemotherapy would help. angie had gotten laid off from her job, leaving joshua the only financial support. 

 ⠀⠀  ⠀for more financial stability and emotions support, the lee family moved from canada to south korea to stay with angie’s parents. nicole didn’t even have time to say goodbye to her friends.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀nicole, now going by nakyung, didn’t make very much friends in her new school and kept mostly to herself. she got a job under the table as a waitress to help her parents with bills, telling her family she was at a dance studio by her school.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀while working, she was scouted by pledis entertainment. despite her parents thinking it was sketchy and cult-like, she auditioned and was accepted. as her brother was going to seoul national university, she moved to seoul with him to train at pledis.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀in 2016, nakyung’s parents announced that angie was in remission. she started working as a teacher again after becoming healthier.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀nakyung was in the final line-up for pledis’ upcoming girl group, but was pulled out due to ‘not being ready’. she almost left the company until her mother convinced her to stay and become better.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀with no news of a new pledis girl group, nakyung volunteered herself to join mnet’s survival show, produce 48. she would end up placing second in the last episode and debuting in temporary girl group, IZ*ONE, in 2018.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀in 2020, nakyung’s parents announced that angie’s cancer had came back— being part of the 10-20 percentage of ovarian cancer recurrence. angie would not try chemotherapy again, wanting to be with her family and go to new zealand. due to the pandemic, the family would ultimately stay in korea and not fulfill angie’s wish.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀in 2021, her mother dies and IZ*ONE disbands. nakyung is not seen for a long time, not even by her IZ*ONE members until her OST song for kdrama ‘twenty-five twenty-one’, stardust love song, was announced. she would, again, disappear.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀in 2022, it is assumed nakyung left pledis around this time as she later joins S2 entertainment after lee haein offered her a spot in ber upcoming girl group.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  FATHER.     joshua lee was born march 13th, 1973 in daegu, south korea as lee jaehyun. the day he turned eighteen, he left his house and moved to canada with his best friend and legally changed his name to joshua lee. he met angela park in 1994 and would go on to have three children with her. the first being daniel in 1997, nicole in 2001, and ciara in 2004. he doesn’t want to be in korea when they have to move but does it for his wife. when angie dies in 2021, he completely barricades himself in their room. one day, his number is changed and all of his belongings are gone. we never find out what happened to him but he either killed himself or changed his name again and started a new life. he is referred to as ‘dad’ or ‘deadbeat’. (non affectionately)

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  MOTHER.     angela ‘angie’ lee was born on october 29th, 1975 in jeju, south korea as park jangmi. she goes by angela or angie now because she likes the name. she was studying abroad in canada when she met joshua. in 2012, she is diagnosed with ovarian cancer. together, they decide to bare the news on their shoulders alone and decide not to tell anyone unless chemotherapy doesn’t work. it begins to work, but it’s too expensive and she’s laid off. they have to move to seoul to be near her family for help. she hates the person she is while on chemo, and turns to god in her sickness and health, even when she’s in remission in 2016. she begins working again. in 2020, the cancer come back, but angie doesn’t want to be on chemo again. she wants to be with her family, in new zealand. but then they can’t go and she dies in korea. she is referred to as ‘mom’.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  BROTHER.     daniel lee was born on august 15th, 1997 in toronto, canada. he grew up teasing his younger sisters, ever so mean to them during puberty but there for them when they were upset. his relationship with his parents wasn’t so great, always noting a difference in the way they brought him up compared to his sisters. when he was eighteen, he left for seoul national university in 2015 with his sister. he now works as a cyber security engineer. he is referred to as ‘daniel’, ‘danny’ or ‘dumbass’. (affectionately)

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  SISTER.     ciara lee was born on november 3rd, 2004 in ontario, canada. she grew up wanting to be everything like her sister, wanting to be around her constantly. she slightly grew up in nakyung’s shadow, but that didn’t matter to her— it just made her want to be her even more. she wants to become an idol just like her older sister— and she will. she currently lives with their aunt, sooyoung, and her girlfriend, bora, in busan, south korea. she is referred to as ‘chaeyoung’ or ‘cee’ or ‘ciara’.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  MATERNAL GRANDMOTHER.     park seoyoung was born on january 19th, 1955 in busan, south korea. she met lee hojin in 1972 and shortly married him a few months later the same year. they would go on to have three children, one boy, two girls. in 1996, seoyoung and hojin moved to chungnam, south korea and settled there for the rest of their lives. in 2017, her health begins to decline. in 2018, she dies in her sleep peacefully. she is referred to as ‘할머니’ (halmoni).

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  MATERNAL GRANDFATHER.     park hojin was born on may 12th, 1949 in ulsan, south korea. after his father died during the korean war, his mother moved them to busan. he met seoyoung in 1972, marrying her and having three children with her. in 1996, he and seoyoung moved to chungnam. in 2001, he suffered from a heart attack. he is currently retired, but used to work as a contractor.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  MATERNAL UNCLE.     park jaewoo was born on february 21st, 1973. he is currently a businessman, living in new york.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  MATERNAL AUNT.      park sooyoung was born on september 27th, 1977. she is currently living in busan with her girlfriend, bora, and her niece, chaeyoung/ciara. she works as a hotel secretary.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  PATERNAL GRANDFATHER.     lee jihyuk was born in 1950. he was verbally and physically abusive to his son, jaehyun, which was one of the leading factors of why jaehyun left forever at eighteen. he died in 1994 of a heart attack.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER.     jung yeonhee was born on july 1st, 1954. she never tried to protect her son from her husband, but joshua was soft on her and it took a lot of him to leave her behind. after jihyuk died in 1994, she tried to find jaehyun, as she knew him, but failed. she later settled in jeju, south korea in 2000 and died of a car accident in 2011. 

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  PATERNAL AUNT.     lee eunbyul was born on december 28th, 1981. her brother was nine years older than her and never cared enough to talk to her, despite the two having more in common than he thought. she was relieved when their brother left and then her father died. when her mother tried to look for her brother who never even wanted them, she grew angry and began to resent her mother and her brother even more. 

 ⩨͢  TRIVIAL INFORMATION ⍣

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  HABITS & MANNERISMS.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀making sound effects, making sweater paws, switching from english to korean in a sentence, constantly organizing and reorganizing things, talking in aegyo, sleep talking, mumbling to herself, makes up lies about random, unimportant things for no reason, pouting or puckering her lips, sleeping in late, using ‘like’ constantly in a conversation, gesturing while talking, checking her phone, laughing in serious situations, poking haneul’s cheeks, slapping/patting her members’ butts for no reason, talking about stars, getting overstimulated with too much noise under stress, bursting into songs and choreo, being jumpy.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  HOBBIES & SKILLS.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀singing, writing, playing the piano, playing the guitar, watching old and new cartoons, gardening, seeing how far she can push her members, vlogging, watching tiktoks/being on her phone, sleeping, shopping, collecting her bias’ photocards, journaling, collecting rubber ducks, doing mindf*ck games.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  LIKES.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀sleeping, music, shopping, reading, strawberries, rubber ducks, learning, butter pecan ice cream, astrology, stars, science, organizing, candles, dramas, the season fall, color purple, swimming, gentle rain, night time, puzzles, talking about her mother, ice skating, museums.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  DISLIKES.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀alcohol, the color orange, loud noises, hot weather, clowns, thunderstorms, liars, mint flavor, horror movies, assumptions, being vulnerable, repeating herself, being active besides dancing, chronically late people, wasting time, camping, cemeteries, family dinners, waiting, dirty fingernails, sundays, cheese, cleaning, world ending conspiracy theories/far stretched conspiracy theories.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  PHOBIAS.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀heights, blood.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  FAVORITE COLOR(S).     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀lavender and pink.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  FAVORITE SEASON.   

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀fall.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  FAVORITE ANIMAL(S).     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀bunnies, dogs.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  FAVORITE NUMBER.     

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀seven.

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  PERSONAL PLAYLIST.

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀anywhere but home, seulgi. gibson girl, ethel cain. rhiannon, fleetwood mac. spring day, bts. teeth, enhypen. out of the woods, taylor swift. take a bite, beabadoobee. liquid smooth, mitski. bye my neverland, kiss of life. left alone, fiona apple. black madonna, cage the elephant. you know i’m no good, amy winehouse. 

͙͘͡ ★ ◞  CLOSE FRIENDS.   

 ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀  ⠀⠀ ⠀former iz*one members. ryujin and chaeryeong, itzy. aespa. yunjin, le sserafim. miyeon and shuhua, (g)i-dle. nagyung, fromis_9. gaeul, ive. heeseung, enhypen. mark, chenle, haechan and jaemin, nct. sungchan, riize. yiren, everglow. yeonjun, txt. chuu. keeho, p1harmony. tsuki, billlie. soojin. matthew, zerobaseone. lily and haewon, nmixx. isa, stayc. park jihoon.

inspo from @m3loria

[catierambles]

Witch Hunt Ch. 4

Cait sat back in the chair with a sigh, one of the files that had been sent over laid out on the desk in front of her.

“How do they get anything done over there?” She asked.

“Haven’t a clue.” Walter said as he read over witness statements. “Our newest victim was also an antiques dealer, only privately this time. No store. Worked strictly from her office.”

“Any date book or cell phone in her personal effects?” Cait asked, “She may have had an appointment with the guy.”

“No date book,” Walter said, getting up from the desk and heading over to one of the boxes and pulling out an evidence bag. “Cell phone. It’s locked, but I can send it to the lab to see if they can crack it.”

“Walter, this woman was an antiques dealer, not a CIA Agent.” She said and sighed again, “Let me see it.” He opened the bag, cutting through the evidence tape, while she put on a pair of nitrile gloves, handing the cell phone over. “Was she married? Have kids?”

“Widowed with a daughter.”

“Four digit PIN.” She said, looking at the screen. “Anniversary date?”

“February third.” Walter said and she punched in 0-2-0-3 with the stylus from her own phone as the touchscreen wouldn’t register with the gloves.

“Nope.” Cait said, playing the long game as she couldn’t just go straight for the correct answer without raising eyebrows. “When did her husband die?”

“November twenty-second.”

1-1-2-2

“Nope. What’s her daughters’ birthday?”

“April twenty-third.”

0-4-2-3

“And we’re in.” She said as the lock screen gave way to the home screen. “Have an entry in her calendar for yesterday evening. Ethan Wyatt - Ring.”

“Any phone number?”

“No dice, looks like they communicated via email.” She said, going through the inbox. “Attached to one is an appraisal for a ring. Twelfth century, carved from obsidian and inlaid with rubies.” She gave a low whistle.

“What?”

“Worth more than I would make in a decade.” She said, “They find a ring at the scene?”

“No.” Walter said, shaking his head. “Damn old ring.”

“And unique.” Cait said, “They used metal back then with some precious gems. Even now you won’t find a lot of jewelry made strictly from obsidian. Inlaid, yes, but not entirely made of it.”

“Why not?”

“It’s volcanic glass, not stone. Primarily used for tools and weapons, not jewelry, and again, not entirely.” She said, “If this Wyatt guy is our man, could be we found a motive.”

“I’ll get someone on tracking down the name and put out a BOLO on a ring matching that description.”

“If it is him, he won’t try to sell it right away. Too hot. Something that unique...no, he’d sit on it for a while before trying to sell it. Or, he may not at all. Insurance company come back with pictures of the first victims’ inventory?”

“Not yet.” Walter said, “They gave me the run around when I first called before agreeing to send them over, might need to get a judge to sign a warrant. If he’s going after antiques dealers for something they have in stock, that’d be a connection.”

“First we need to figure out if Ethan Wyatt is our man. I doubt it’s his real name if it is him, he had to have known she would have marked down the appointment.” Cait said.

“You never made this connection with the others?” Walter asked but she shook her head.

“The other victims weren’t in that business. Stay at home mom, lawyer, a paramilitary gun-nut. No connection between any of them.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.” She said, going back to the emails, “Put out the BOLO anyway for the ring, just to cover bases, while someone looks into Wyatt. In their first communication he said he was a museum curator putting together an exhibit for that time period, didn’t say what museum though. A lot of haggling over the finders’ fee before they settled on a figure. Not full sticker price, but close.”

“It’ll take some time before anything comes back. Feel like lunch?”

“I could eat. Any place in mind?”

“How do you feel about sushi?”

“Can’t get enough of it.”

“There’s a place downtown that has a good lunch special. Come on, my treat.” He said, getting up from his chair and grabbing his jacket.

“How’s their miso?”

“Soul warming.” He said and she gave a small huff of a laugh. Locking the phone again, she placed it back into the evidence bag and retaped it, using a sharpie to mark it with the date and her initials, before stripping off the gloves and tossing them in the wastebasket by his desk. “Ladies first.”

“Age before beauty.”

“I’m not that much older than you!” He objected with a smile and she laughed.

“Scoot your butt! Go!” She said and he left the office ahead of her, not seeing how she briefly checked out the fit of his dark jeans.

Walter smiled gently at her across the small table as her lips twisted almost wistfully after she took a sip from the bowl of miso, foregoing the spoon altogether. Their lunch orders were being worked on, the soup and salad brought to the table first.

“Good?” He asked and she hummed with a nod. “Good.”

“Good call.”

“I have my moments.” Walter said, “So, Cait.”

“Yes?”

“What were you assigned before...”

“The horrible murders?” She asked, setting down the bowl, and he nodded, “Pseudo-religious paramilitary organizations.”

“Pardon?”

“You know, the government’s gonna come for our freedoms,” She took on a slightly over the top southern televangelist accent, “We gotta arm ourselves with AKs in the name of Jaysus Christ hallelujah amen.” She gave a small cough to clear her throat, “They're a dime a dozen in the Deep South.” Cait finished, dropping the accent.

“Ah.” He said with a chuckle. “I'm guessing they didn't like it when the Feds showed up on their doorstep.”

“They didn't know I was a Fed, just another member of the flock.” She said, “Right up until I gave the signal and they were raided by the FBI and the ATF.”

“Don't remember hearing about anything about that.”

“They aren't all big showdowns with riot gear and helicopters. The ones the public do know about are rare, as the leaders of the groups almost always fold when the government actually does show up. A well organized raid takes all of an hour of prep, and about five minutes after breach to be done and dusted. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am, last one to the bar buys the first round.”

“What did your family think of you getting into this line of work?”

“Oh they approved of it. Whole heartedly.” She said, “I grew up in what was basically a giant commune. Family, extended family, friends close enough to be considered family. When I said I wanted to go into law enforcement, they were overjoyed. It was also a bit of a family tradition. Mom was also in the FBI.”

“What about your father?”

“Never met the man. Don’t even know his name.” She said, “Mom told me when I was old enough that I’m the product of a one-night stand. Blowing off steam after the conclusion of an assignment. She never tried to track him down, and I never cared enough to look into it. Besides, with the amount of people I grew up around, I wasn’t short on father figures. I can name three men I considered my father, and genetics had nothing to do it.”

[delta-pavonis]

Dream Journal Rescue for the wip game, please

WHOO! Thank you for asking about this one, Nonny.

For the 2022 Dreamling Secret Santa I took a risk and wrote something that can be very divisive in fanfic and in fiction in general: first person narrative. I wrote the first half of i had a dream (i got everything i wanted) as a dream journal that Hob used to record his dreams after they came back when Dream got out of the fishbowl in 2021. It draws both from the early comics and from the TV show in terms of events/timeline. This fic got significantly less attention than the others I had written at the time, but it was also the one I was most proud of that year (and that's with Eros in Pragma and Hypnopompia turtur in there!). I am still extremely proud of it because it is, for me, I think very poetic writing. However, the first version of i had a dream wasn't post-fishbowl, but actually started before the fishbowl. Hob still kept a dream journal, and it still started in first person, but the idea originally was that Hob would figure out that something had happened to his Stranger because of his dreams stopping. Which meant that they needed to have enough of a relationship/rapport by the 1910s that Hob would trust that Dream would not miss a dream "date" of theirs without very good reason. Hence, "dream journal rescue" as the name. I only have pieces of the fic, but I keep them because I still viscerally love what I did with i had a dream SO FUCKING MUCH that I want to return to that style at some point. If you have read i had a dream you will see the bits I took from this and transferred to that.

This is totally G-rated and starts before 1889, as Hob is anticipating that next meeting, and then keeps going into 1914. Here's what I have in that WIP file:

1:

21 October 1885

I think I need to write these down. Olive suggested I start writing these down. She is usually right about such things.  

Maybe it will bring some clarity to this… mess. 

I’m in the White Horse Inn. (It is always the White Horse.) 

The year is not obvious from the decor, which is a riotous mix of 1389 and 1489 and 1789. Delicate teacups and straw-covered floor and fireplaces with chimneys. Of course chimneys. But I know, in the way of dreams, that it is the day of our annual appointment, the next one, in 1889. 

I shake my coat and hat free of the London morning rain. I am many hours before the time of our appointment. This my usual - I always arrive early. To ready the table and, more importantly, myself for our meeting. 

But in this dream I enter the White Horse to find the Stranger already there. He looks exactly as he did in 1789. Which must say something about my imagination since he has always been in impeccable fashion specific to the era of our meeting. 

Or perhaps it is because he looks at me with the same burning intensity that made our last appointment so spectacular. His eyes devour me, just as they did when we parted last, and I am absolutely helpless to resist.

I am sitting then, across from him, cups of tea and venison pasties between us. His beautiful pale fingers trace around the gilded edge of the teacup. I am speaking, words tumbling forth, I can hear the droning vibrations in my ears and throat, but it is not where my attention lies. 

My attention is riding the wave in his coalblack hair. My attention is wafting the bob of his throat above his high collar. My attention is tracing the sweet pout of his pink lips. My attention is flying through storm-sky eyes. 

He reaches across and

Fuck. I can’t write this.

2:

[There are several attempts at starting entries after the previous one. None manage more than a sentence.]

[No attempts at entries are made after 1889.]

3:

1 November 1898

I woke up still drunk and still in very rural Wales (note: never ever always maybe return for Nos Calan Gaeaf in the future) and found this old journal in the bottom of my trunk, so I suppose I shall once again make a valiant attempt to take dear Olive’s advice to sort out the dreams of my Stranger that ever plague me.

(I have heard tell of work by a man named Freud who claims dreams can be used to better understand someone’s psychology and potentially even relieve psychosis. He'd have a field day with me. May I never come within 400 miles of him.)

My drunk mind lacks creativity for scenery and so when I sleep this night I find myself in the same village square I was in only hours prior… however, I am back in time about 400 years? Long before the industrialization of the region, before the extermination of these old traditions by the expansion of “civilization.”

I have just won the silly harvest mare from the clutches of the other young men bringing the last of the harvest in, a horse-shaped horror made from the final stalks of grain reaped. I am now expected to try to sneak this rustling beast into the home where the bulk of the feast is being prepared by the womenfolk without one of them dousing me with washwater. If I succeed in getting into the kitchen unscathed I will win their finest beer and an honored seat at the feast-table. I am always up for new games.

(This is all Iwan’s fault for convincing me to accompany him home for the holiday yesterday and for me getting drunk while they all told me stories of the Old Days. Let it never be said that I abandon a friend in their time of need.)

I easily weave through the crowds of women and children, in their dresses and aprons and smocks, clothing I haven’t seen in centuries but are still as real as yesterday, and cross the kitchen threshold only to find the room empty. An empty kitchen except for the crackle of the hearthfire and my Stranger sat on a barrel in front of it. 

The large fire paints him in oranges and golds and he looks warm and inviting in a way that I have never experienced outside of my mind. It is the moment I know for certain that this is a dream. 

When he looks up to me he appears confused, brows drawn, lips parted. 

I am the first to speak, although words do not come easily to me. “What…?” After our parting in 1889 I can scarce understand why I am seeing him before me now. Although nightmares of the night plagued me in the months afterwards, I had been blessedly free of any night-time visits from my Stranger for almost a decade now. It has been an unexpected boon after so many years of dreaming of him more carnally. I know these facts within the dream. “Why are you here?”

He doesn’t stand, cranes his neck back to look up at me, and I realize he has a low collar this night, lower than it had been even in 1489. I can see flame-gold arcing around the shadowed hollow of his throat.

“It is a Ysbrydnos.” He explains in perfect Welsh, as if I am some child. I do not question why I can so easily understand him despite my mediocre grasp of the language. It is a dream, after all. “Many call on me such nights.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Yes, ‘tis a Spirit Night and you a spirit.” 

He tilts his head to the side, bird-like and distinctly not human. “Not as such. But I will attend the dreams of many who call me here this night.” The Stranger’s voice is just as rich and decadent as it is in person. This detail my memory - traitorous bastard it is - does not neglect. 

“Of course. Even the version of you I make for my dreams gives non-answers and evasions.” I can feel my whole body hunch in defeat. I wrap my arms around myself, look to the floor. “Just why…” Even my dream cannot steady my voice. “Why does my mind show you to me now? Why this torment?”

“Ah.” Now his voice is choked and staccato. “You did not call me here yourself this night.” Perhaps he is surprised, or ashamed, I cannot tell. 

Still, I want to scream. “After last time…” I grit my teeth and continue to stare at the floor. 

I see the toes of his black shoes enter my field of view. His chest is perhaps a handspan from mine. “Do you truly wish to never dream of me?” This inquiry is a mocking echo of his usual question, but there is no mockery in his tone. “Given…" He shakes his head, unable to say the words. Say the words he should say: Given what I did to you… Instead he restarts the sentence, "It would be well within your right to request it.”

I sigh. He almost sounds remorseful. What a fantasy this is. How contrived. “No.” And if I ever doubted before that this was a dream the tiny bits of relief I see wash over my Stranger confirms it. His eyes soften minutely. His shoulders relax a hair's breadth. “This might be the only chance I have to ever see you again. And I would take the machinations of my mind, I would take delusions of your regard, over nothing.”

He hums, looking back to the fire as he takes a step away from me. I feel cold and bereft. “This dream is over.”

And then I woke up.

3: 

1 Nov 1898  I have not dreamed of him in six months. one year.         three years.         seven          ten          fifteen 

4:

25 May 1914

After almost 17 years I found myself dreaming of the White Horse last night and when I focused upon it in my mind’s eye I almost burst into tears.

Wait, Olive always said that this was more effective if I narrated as if I was reliving the dream. That I would get more details back that way.

I begin the dream standing outside the White Horse Inn and knowing that I am dreaming. It is the first time I have begun a dream this aware and therefore it is noteworthy. 

When I enter I feel his presence before I see it. Through the doors in the back, to the private room that had been set aside for us in 1789. He is once again in front of a fireplace, standing this time, hands clasped at the small of his back as he looks down into the flames. 

(Note: Ponder this pattern more later, that I associate him in dreams with fire.)

The door to the room automatically closes behind me and he turns. Despite the venue, he is dressed, as always, in the pinnacle of fashion. All black - of course - but a suit with long jacket and waistcoat and tie nonetheless. The ever-present ruby sits heavy and dark just below his throat.

“I did not intend the delay, Hob.” And doesn’t that throw me for a loop. I did not know prior to that moment that one could get dizzy in their own dreams. “I sometimes forget that time flows… differently… for you humans. But I did think on our last conversation.”

Thirty questions stampede through my mind at once. Everything from ‘Did he just directly admit that he is not human?’ to ‘Which last time?’ I throw all of these aside and instead opt for a cautiously lilted “And?”

A magnanimous wave of his hand and we are sitting, the same tea and sweets that were present in 1789 grace the table between us. I hold my breath. “Perhaps we can pick up, as much as we can, where we were in 1789 before the Lady Constantine interrupted us.” I am so taken aback by the turn this dream has taken that I cannot for the life of me think of what to say next. Luckily, my mind does not require me to as he continues. “I believe you asked my name.”

I almost fall over myself to give him leave to avoid it. “Only if you wish it.” Just don't leave again.

He smiles, something brighter than usual, and it feels like looking into the Sun. “I have a list of titles, which we can get to later, but the simplest name is Dream.”

I clamp down on the anguish that’s in my throat, but it still comes out as a high-pitched wheeze from between my teeth. “Dream?! DREAM?!?” I let myself slump boneless into the chair, impropriety be damned, and splay my legs out in front of me, hands over my face. “Oh fuck my mind and these GAMES. Why can it not send me sweet dreams of you? Of COURSE you are named Dream… you are a dream! Has my subconscious no creativity? Christ in heaven…”

“Hob!” He shouts. He has never shouted at me before. I look to him through my fingers, meet twilight-blue eyes. “My name is Dream of the Endless and I am the King of Dreams and Nightmares.”

Shock, bright white and violent, runs through me and I quite literally fall out of my chair.

And then I wake up.

5:

26 May 1914

I do not think I have ever been more wrong about something in my long long life.

Fuck. 

My Stranger is Dream. He lords over dreams and nightmares. They are his Domain, his Kingdom. 

F U C K

I knew that he was something Other. But this. This. 

We met again last night, in my dreams. I don’t need to work at this anymore (thanks for trying, Olive) because he asked me last night if I wanted to remember this, remember meeting him. Apparently he has some manner of control over such things.

I told him yes. Of course I said yes. But I think I want to continue to keep track of what has happened, what will happen, in my dreams, here in this journal. If only so that I have something to refer to later when I have absolutely zero confidence that this is real. Some proof that I haven’t gone completely barmy. 

Last night we talked. Just talked. It was in a liminal space, barely distinct as containing a floor and walls and chairs. All monotone, in blacks and greys and faint whites. It still reminded me of the back room from 1789.

He - Dream - told me so much. More than he had ever said to me in one go ever before. He told me some of his other names: Lord Morpheus (or just Morpheus), Prince of Stories, Oneiros, Shaper of Forms. He has a kingdom, home to dreams and nightmares alike. They are not only his citizens, but he creates them. Creates!

I have so so many questions.

But I must parcel them out carefully. Each answer is a treasure I will hoard. 

I returned his generosity with words of my own.

[misunhye]

THE KANG-AHN FAMILY TREE

as of january 23, 2024

LEFT TO RIGHT Kang Misun, Kang Sumin, Ahn Jaesun, Ahn Jiho, Ahn Jaesuk, Kim Moonsun, Kang Wonhae, and Shin Yejin.

tw grooming, infidelity, power imbalance, illegal relationship, age gap, brief mention of miscarriage

In 1992, Kang Sumin was a freshly debuted idol when she met Ahn Jaesun. She was sixteen and he was twenty-three. He was one of YG’s music producers. In 1994, she was eighteen and pregnant with Ahn Jaesun’s first child. Shortly after, her pregnancy was announced and netizens were appalled that she was unwed and a teen mother.

This did not deter her. She wanted to continue her career as an idol, and she wouldn’t stop until she was able to. She went to far as to sending her newborn son, Ahn Jiho, to Texas with her parents. When YG dismissed her, putting her on an indefinite hiatus, she went back to Jaesun, leaving Jiho in Texas.

Sumin’s second son, Ahn Jaesuk, was born in 1997, and he, too, was sent to Texas.

Two years after Jaesuk’s birth in 1999, it was announced she’d be making a comeback. In a drunken high, she had an affair with one of her backup dancers.

One year later in 2000, she gave birth to her first daughter and final child, Kang Sunhye.

In 2009, it was widely accused across South Korea that Sumin’s daughter was the result of her affair and that her biological father being one of Sumin’s backup dancers. Anything she had left of a career was killed. Sumin and Jaesun battled in court over custody over their children, Jaesun even having Sunhye take a DNA test. The media was right, Sumin had an affair and it resulted in Sunhye. The court would rule in Sumin’s favor, saying a child should never be without their mother.

In 2011, Sumin and Jaesun divorced and their three children lived with Sumin, having visits to Jaesun ever so often until they all turned nineteen.

It is noted that Sumin and her children, especially her daughter, do not have the best relationship.

The rest of Sumin’s future is incomplete.

BIRTH NAME Kang Sumin

BIRTHDAY November 29, 1976

OCCUPATION Idol formerly Unemployed currently

FACECLAIM Yunjin Kim

Ahn Jaesun married eighteen-year-old pregnant Kang Sumin when he was twenty-five. As he worked at YG as one of their music producers, he met sweet Kang Sumin when she debuted. While he was overjoyed at their children’s birth, he noticed she wasn’t. He wanted their children to live with them, but her word was final.

Jaesun filed for divorce in 2009 and fought for custody over all three of his children— DNA be damned. The cases took two years to come to a ruling. When the court ruled in Sumin’s favor in 2011, giving him only a few visits per year, he was devastated and dived headfirst into his work. This in turn slightly damaged his relationships with his children but constantly tries to make up for it ever since 2019.

He is one of YG’s best producers, his most prominent works being for 2NE1, Big Bang, and Epik High. When his sons individually turned nineteen, they lived with him until they got settled on their feet. Misun was an idol by the time she turned nineteen.

In October 2019, he met model and crowned Miss Korea 2015 Shin Yejin, who was twenty-seven at the time. A month later in November, they were dating. They have been dating ever since, and many question when he will propose to her.

It is noted that even though he is constantly trying to be a better father, his children and him have a strained relationship.

The rest of Jaesun’s future is incomplete.

BIRTH NAME Ahn Jaesun

BIRTHDAY March 7, 1969

OCCUPATION Music producer currently

FACECLAIM Choi Wonyoung

Ahn Jiho is an actor and got his popularity from Reply 1988 in 2015. As a child, it was very obvious to him that he was the odd man out in the family. He was the only one to not go into music, his name wasn’t close to either of his parents’ like Sunhye and Jaesuk’s were. He felt rather ignored in the family, and that’s what he was. His father loved him, but he loved work and Sumin more.

Jiho was closed off from his siblings, preferring to be in his room alone. If he had the choice of riding home in the car with his family or walking home in the rain, he’d choose walking in the rain. He had a warped impression of them, thinking they thought he was strange for not liking the same things they all did.

Jiho was always interested in film and literature, finding the universes people could create fascinating. He found that while he couldn’t write a story for anything, he was rather strangely good at lying. The thought unsettled him, but he was determined to be apart of people’s versions of their favorite character. He put the lying to use, being in theater in school and begging his grandparents to put him in acting classes.

When his mother’s affair was revealed, he was relieved but then distraught. His mother had made a mistake, she wasn’t one of them. But Misun wasn’t one of them, either— not completely, anyway. Yet she also was one of them. And he wasn’t.

His first major acting role was in Reply 1988 as Jang Minki. His popularity and fans quickly grew, earning him more offered roles. He has won Best New Actor and Best Supporting Actor for his role in Reply 1988.

He has since starred in notable shows like While You Were Sleeping, Squid Games, Sweet Home, and recently known for his role as the main male lead in My Demon. He is currently filming for the American horror movie, The Name Game.

It is noted that Jiho is not as close to Misun as Jaesuk is, but he’s also not close to Jaesuk. Jiho thinks of himself as the black sheep in the family and avoids them.

BIRTH NAME Ahn Jiho

BIRTHDAY September 2, 1995

OCCUPATION Actor currently

FACECLAIM Yoon Dowoon

Ahn Jaesuk is a songwriter and has most likely taken part in writing the lyrics to your favorite song. He has notable achievements for both Korean and American music, such as multiple SHINee and The Weeknd and Harry Styles songs.

As the middle child, he’s always tried to maintain a balance with his siblings and parents and grandparents. He hated conflict, and always tried to avoid it. He tried protecting Misun as best as he could, until he could no longer bare Misun hurt at the hands of Sumin. He was rather relieved when Sumin’s affair was revealed and their parents were divorced, but never once thought differently of Misun.

Long before their divorce, he was twelve when he realized his parents weren’t the parents you see in movies. He was hurt, and angry, but soon that turned into emptiness. It was more of an expectation than anything. He felt nothing when they divorced.

Jaesuk started his career in 2018 with his father at YG Entertainment, his relationship to his father being a helping hand. He has since wrote songs for BLACKPINK, Big Bang, Winner, and TREASURE. He has also wrote songs for other groups such as SHINee, NCT, aespa, TXT, IVE, and more.

It is noted that Jaesuk and Misun are the closest within the family, as their other family are all estranged to one another.

BIRTH NAME Ahn Jaesuk

BIRTHDAY April 9, 1997

OCCUPATION Songwriter currently

FACECLAIM Yoo Taeyang

Kim Sunhee, better known as Moonsun, is a retired South Korean soprano opera actress. When she was twenty-one, she met Kang Wonhae and would later marry him in 1973. Three years later, after multiple attempts to have a child and having two miscarriages, she had her daughter, Sumin.

After having not slept for six days with various attempts to hurt herself or Sumin with Wonhae stopping her, she checked herself into a mental hospital where she was soon diagnosed with postpartum depression. She went on a three year hiatus with her career in order to get better and take care of her daughter. However, as she got back into her career, her relationship with her daughter worsened as she was always busy.

Sunhee is part of the reason Sumin was able to debut and have a comeback after her hiatus, as she knows ‘important people’. She was disappointed when she got pregnant the first time, swearing to cut her off but never did. She never understood why Sumin kept doing it to herself.

It feels like Sumin’s children are more of her own, especially considering she was the one who raised them. She has a strange, polite relationship with Jiho, a relationship where she knows she can trust Jaesuk, and Misun is the baby of the family. She’s much more coddled than the other two as she’s the youngest and only girl.

Besides a three year long hiatus, Sunhee is well known to older citizens for her voice and variety personality.

It is noted that Sunhee and Misun had a good relationship, but lately Misun’s backed away due to some realizations.

BIRTH NAME Kim Sunhee

BIRTHDAY November 1, 1950

OCCUPATION Opera Singer formerly

FACECLAIM Nam Giae

Kang Wonhae is a retired piano and music teacher. He met Kim Sunhee while teaching her youngest sister how to play the piano, and they would soon marry and have a daughter, Sumin.

Wonhae was disappointed Sumin had a child early, but he was the reason Sunhee never kicked her out or cut her off financially. He was the one who took care of his grandchildren first, he was the second person to hold Misun. He was polite with Ahn Jaesun, took him in like a son.

Wonhae always tried to involve Jiho, but he would always refuse. He’d always calm Sunhee down when she got too angry, but sometimes things were so damning, he’d lose his mind. Wonhae willingly took Jaesuk to his ball games, and was always there for each one. He encouraged Misun to audition for entertainment companies.

In 2002, he would retire early from his job as a teacher to focus taking care of his grandchildren. When they would move in with their mother after the divorce, he would soon pick up piano again and play the piano for their church.

It is noted that there is no dislike between Wonhae and Misun. She knows he is there for her.

BIRTH NAME Kang Wonhae

BIRTHDAY July 19, 1950

OCCUPATION Piano teacher formerly Music teacher formerly

FACECLAIM Kim Sunhee

Shin Yejin is a model and was crowned Miss Korea 2015. In 2019, she was twenty-seven when she met fifty-year-old Ahn Jaesun. He would ask her out and by the next month, they were dating.

Not much is known about Shin Yejin. She has been on the cover of Vogue Korea, W Korea, and more. She was one of the female love interest in Big Bang’s Let’s Not Fall In Love music video.

It is noted that Misun and Yejin don’t have much of a relationship, due to her busy schedule. Yejin tries to have a relationship, though.

BIRTH NAME Shin Yejin

BIRTHDAY February 26, 1992

OCCUPATION Model currently

FACECLAIM Jo Jihyun

[valscodblog]

"The Crash"-A Ruby "Jewel" Ramirez Dialogue

"Name one mission that gives you nightmares."

"...November eleventh, two thousand."

"...What went down, if i can ask?"

"...A bomb."

"...From who?"

"...Russian planes. They were so high above me-I was landing anyways-but they were so high up above me...I didn't see 'em until it was to late."

"Is that why you quit the Air Force, Jewel? Joined the SAS?"

"Yeah, it is, Price."

"...Damn...Mind going into more detail-for the files, I mean."

"...Sure."

She looked down at her feet and sighed before slouching in her chair and then sitting up straight again.

"I was, uhm...Sixteen at the time. I had joined underage due to my father getting my date of birth wrong on my birth forms."

"How?"

"He was a drunk-a bad one."

"ah...Go on, Love."

she inhaled and started talking again, seeing that Price wasn't even looking at her-but her forms.

"Well, uhm...We had a successful...Fireworks show."

"Fireworks show?"

"...You know the code, Cap'in."

"Ah..go on."

"I was damn near base-but they were even closer...and high above-like I said. They dropped some bombs to make themselves lighter-they didn't even know that we had a base where they bombed."

"...Fuckin' Jesus."

"yeah-and my dad warned me to jump plane-but I couldn't. I was too scared-I couldn't move. At all...I was frozen...My dad came up to the cockpit and tried shakin' me alive-didn't work. I was too scared to move."

"...That's why you like to drive then?"

"Hate driving. I've been in more than one kind of crash, John."

"How many? And what kind?"

"Car, Plane...motorcycle...Fair Ride..."

"...How are alive?"

"Because God Loves to see me suffer. He thinks it's funny."

"hey now. Be real."

She sighed.

"I'm trying-but talking about this...scares me. My dad's face is all fucked up-cuz of Me. They US Army told me to quit-so many times."

"Well...your one of the best rookies I've ever had, Y'know...that Army must be on drugs."

"Half of 'em did-or used to, being honest."

"Jesus."

"yeah. Life was fine back in the US...not that I live here in the UK."

"...And why not? I hear Liverpool's rent is on the cheaper side."

"...Cheaper than the state's?"

"...No."

"Didn't think so."

And with that, she walked out, and looked at her lieuntant-he had heard everything and she could tell.

"Hope you enjoyed story time! Come on back next week to hear about how I fucked up a whole squad and nearly got killed doing it!"

She shouted angrily as she walked off from Him. He stood there, looking at her-and then the open door, and Price behind his desk.

"Go on-Go after her."

and He was off.

"Corporal!"

"Que!?"

"Watch your tone, young lady!"

"Like your my dad!"

"I'm old enough to be!"

"Oh really!? Your fifteen years older than me!?"

"More than..."

She glared up at him through her goggles. He glared back. They held each other's glares for such a long time, that Soap thought that they were talking to each other in their minds.

"...Fuck you."

"Station eight-all week."

"Only Price-"

"Price said I could give permission if you acted up."

"Wow...Must be special."

"More work-less talk, Lovie."

"Shut up, Riley...your not my fuckin' boss...I was a fuckin' commander once-I killed a whole enemy squad...And I can kill you too."

"But you won't because ye like me. Innit right?"

"...Fuck you..."

She looked down and walked away, slipping a knife into Simon's palm.

"What's this?"

"Look in the handle. See you."

He flipped the knife open-"Happy birthday Simon!"

"...Me Birfday...hmph."