#the crowd boos. i begin to walk off in shame when a voice speaks out and commands silence from the room

[batsplat]

still the same anon here. so what if instead of The Devil™️ it is a demon instead? valentino still strikes a faustian bargain and all we’re 100% keeping that. and yeah yzr-m1 is the manifestation of that demonic spirit. you know that valentino tribute video which is from the bike’s pov? “I’d been waiting for somebody like you for so long. I was nervous, but it was love at first sight for both of us. I knew instantly our relationship would be something truly special. We had that undeniable once-in-a-lifetime spark, and all the pieces of the puzzle just came together. I will never forget how we stopped on the grass in Welkom in 2004. Just the two of us, realising that you and me together was right – and that this was only the beginning….” etc. like this was so insane I think about it a lot. anyways, yzr-m1 is not exactly like a malicious presence, and obviously loves valentino but it is inhuman! and valentino chooses to give it…..or her? his heart and that turns him a lil bit inhuman too….. and let’s remember that irl valentino keeps this fucking bike in his bedroom…….very “character who keeps the cursed artifact, which is the source of their power, close” of him. and also talks to her before every race…..

the ducati years is yzr-m1 cursing valentino for abandoning it/her btw.

ummmmm what possessed me to write all this I don’t know btw

(x, x) no go on, anon... that bike letter is so. so.... I also think about it too often. the fact they literally got someone to read this stuff out loud... they gave the bike a voice... what a sport. *pinches bridge of nose* anyway. I think!! the bike can be a little bit demonic. but it can also like... reflect something of the rider back at the rider - so that as a Part of the rider, it ends up becoming an externalisation of some of their most notable traits, a way of emphasising them as well as distorting them. it whispers back at you what's already in your soul... and if you pour a part of yourself into that machine, then this is what your machine will inevitably become. so it's a bit... the nature of competition, right, ensures that this naked desire to win will end up being transmitted to the machine. but then if you draw your desire to win from spite specifically... if you have, for instance, switched manufacturers and wish to prove the entire world wrong, to make your former employer miserable, to show up your rivals and make them suffer... then eventually, that desire will fester within the machine and its nature will be twisted and corrupted accordingly

though I do like valentino's yamaha being Special and Weird!! adores valentino, is possessive of valentino, is unnatural and by definition inhuman, is already kinda inclined towards malice, calls valentino away from honda... again, it's a way of representing what the step from honda to yamaha actually Means in narrative terms, how it's this process of self-actualisation with both good and not so good consequences... like!! it was the perfect marriage between a giant of the sport in ill-health and a champion who desperately required a new challenge. some purpose. so if you have a capricious, maltreated bike that simply finds the concept of valentino - uh, *clears throat* riding it too attractive to resist... then why not tempt the two-time defending champion to make the switch? to take the leap into the unknown? to give himself over to this new adventure? and, yes, this bike will not take kindly to being abandoned...

anyway yeah there's a happy middle ground there somewhere in where the malevolence Comes From. something already kinda creepy, unnatural about the yamaha that then is encouraged by valentino - who talks to it before every race, imposes his own will on the machine and gets some of his malice and spite reflected back at him. valentino whispers to the bike and the bike whispers back... he keeps it close to him, as it now contains a part of his soul. a mutuality here, a symbiosis... it's coming into your own as a bike and as a rider by embracing the cruelty of competition to the fullest. a partnership that is extraordinarily successful but also morally corrosive. a "once in a lifetime spark", if you will

[lindleland]

"Mordecai and Rigby from Regular Show fucked", I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when two voices speak and command silence from the room in unison.

"They're right", they say. I look for the owners of the voices. There in the 3rd row stand Mordecai and Rigby.

Another voice rings out from the next row: "You know who ELSE fucked?"

[brucie-baby]

"Jason finding out that Bruce attempted to kill the Joker would not have fixed anything,” I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

"He's right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the back row stands: Jason Todd himself.

[its-cartooncrazy]

“Laios Touden is smart,” I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

“They're right,” they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 5th row stands: Ryoko Kui herself.

[Image description: a stat chart from the Adventurers Bible, showing Laios' stats. He has a 4 out of 5 in intelligence. End ID]

[fat-fem-and-asian]

'karolina novotney is a dyke' i say into the mic . the crowd boos. i begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks out and commands the room. 'she's right' they say. i look for the owner of the voice. there in the 5th row stands: dagmara dominczyk herself

[orphiclovers]

I’m here to advertise another fic. It’s joongdok since that’s all you people care about. If that didn't make you immediately black out and click on the link, I'll say this:

“Yoo Joonghyuk likes being possessed by Kim Dokja.” I say into the mic. The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks & commands silence from the room

“She’s right,” they say. I look for the owner of the voice. there in the 5th row stands: Yoo Joonghyuk himself

[real-total-drama-takes]

“heathney real,” i say into the mic.

the crowd boos. i begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

“she’s right, you know,” i look for the owner of the voice. there in the fifth row stands: heather, yuri-ing out with courtney.

.

[optiwashere]

Hey sorry not sorry but I need you to know I am abysmally down bad for Asheera. You absolutely popped off when making her. I just wanna give her a little smoochie kiss an also maybe suck her di-

*The crowd begins to boo. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks out and commands silence from the room.

"They're right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 2nd row stands God's favorite princess herself: Shadowheart*

Lmao, this was a beautiful tale, anon. I'm glad you're having fun with the Asheera stuff, I do love writing about the bbygrl! It warms my heart to read this.

Even happier you found strong solidarity with Shadowheart. So brave of y'all to speak your truth 💜

[thatisntverycombefair]

"asexual Marius pontmercy” I say into the mic. The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room. "He's right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in coming out of the Parisian sewer system: victor hugo

[king-wens-king]

"Aziraphale would initiate kissing Crowley extreme sloppy style," I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, then a voice speaks.

"They're right." There in the back row himself: Michael Sheen.

...

I really hope this post pans out for me in 4 years time. 2027 wen pls give me a high five when it does.

[no1monstersimp]

"Blast is bisexual" I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

"She's right" they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There , stepping out of a time portal, stands: Blast himself.

[backdraft-bimbo]

"Destiel is still canon," I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

"She’s right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 5th row stands: Jensen Ackles himself. 

But he’s not looking at me. His mournful eyes are fixated on something out of view. That’s when I feel it. Someone’s breath tickles my neck. A hard object digs into the back of my head. The barrel of a gun. 

I turn, meeting Eric Kripke’s cold, lifeless gaze.

“Cope,” he smiles, and shoots. 

[fandom-hoarder-official]

"Your mom gay" I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when voices speak simultaneously and command silence from the room.

"Xe's right, we are" they say. I look for the owners of the voices. There in the back stands everyone in the audiences mothers.

The mothers all pull out rainbow flags, and chant "love wins".

While the audience claps, I'm holding back tears, because my mother didn't show up, she said she'd come! :( the whole thing is ruined now. "Fuck this" I mutter to myself and skulk off the stage.

[starsincline]

“Just because Matthew was young and is dealing with his own issues right now doesn't mean he shouldn't be called out for his racism,” I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

“She’s right,” they say. I look over for the owner of the voice. There, in the last row, stands Alastair Carstairs himself, along with all the other mistreated poc.

[makerofmadness]

“kirby and bandee are in love with each other,” i say into the mic. the crowd boos. i begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks out and commands silence from the room. “she’s right”, they say. i look for the owner of the voice. there in the 6th row stands the owners of voice: kirby himself, bandee himself, and mie takase.

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[carrotsquish]

“Langa legitimately came out to his mother.” I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

“She’s right” they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 5th row stands: Reki Kyan, Langa Hasegawa comfortably sitting in his lap