#the cringe culture is kicking my ass so bad

[monigote001]

I'm doing something

[loud-sturniolos]

Crush, 1

A Chris Sturniolo fic

SUMMARY:

Chris finally realises he has a crush on his brothers best friend, and once he acknowledges it, the universe seems to be hellbent on making things awkward.

WARNINGS:

kinda cringe ngl😻, uses of Y/N, loosely based on Crush Culture by Conan Gray, sexual themes + male masturbation but no actual sex!(..yet), pet names, very badly written smut, not proof read, kind of a cliffhanger (bc I didnt know how to end it💀)

TROPES:

Friends to lovers, one bed, best friends brother.

A/N: I haven’t written in a while, writers block and depression kicking my ass rn🥲 Btw, Matt comforting Chris is so shit, im not good at writing stuff like that; sorryyy

It was 2:43AM, Chris, Matt, Nick & Y/N were still up, the TV played quietly in the background as they all sat in the living room.

Nick let out a loud yawn, tapping Y/N’s forearm. “When are you gonna go to bed?” He asks curiously, “Uh, I’ll go do my skincare now so we can sleep soon.” Nick hums in acknowledgment, getting up and following Y/N to his bathroom to help her with skincare.

After a few minutes of Matt and Chris being alone, the younger brother sits up and looks at Matt over his phone. “Matt?” He says gently, a hint of nervousness in his voice. “What’s up, Chris?” Matt mumbles, still mostly focused on playing Clash of Clans on his phone. “I think I like Y/N.” The younger brunet blurts out, not knowing how to start the conversation. Matt’s eyes widen, immediately his eyes go to Chris’s subtly flushed face. Matt stays silent for a moment, unsure of what to say.

“Is.. that a bad thing?” He finally says in a caring tone after a beat of silence, “I..” Chris stutters, staring down at his lap as he thinks. “I don’t want it to be a bad thing.” He replies. “Then why don’t you tell her?” Matt has now moved to sit next to Chris, rubbing his younger brothers arm comfortingly. “I can’t do that. What if it ruins our friendship? What if she doesn’t like me back? What if I don’t actually like her? What if I me-“ Chris starts rambling anxiously, which Matt cuts off by shoving his hand over Chris’s mouth. “Dude. Calm down. It’s fine, you’re fine.” He says bluntly, but clearly with brotherly love. Chris mumbles a “sorry..” through Matt’s hand, “Chris, shes your best friend. If she does, it wont ruin your friendship. Promise.” Before Chris could reply, Y/N walked back downstairs. “Chris, I’m using your shower.” She says casually as she walks through the room, then towards Chris’s bathroom as Nick’s shower can be heard being turned on elsewhere in the house.

Matt stood up after a few minutes of silence, “I’m gonna go to bed.” He said, glancing at Chris. “Me too, night Matt.” Chris stands up too, both the men walking to their respective rooms.

After half an hour, Chris hears his bedroom door open. He glances up and sees Y/N stood at the door in a bra and pyjama shorts, and all the blood immediately starts rushing down south, and to his pale cheeks. He cleared his throat, “Uh.. can I help you with anything?” He mumbled, trying not to stare right at his best friends chest which was on full display. “I forgot my pyjama shirt, can I borrow one of your shirts?” She asked, oblivious to his distraction. “Can you not borrow one of Nick’s?” He says with a raised eyebrow, but still climbing out the bed and getting her a shirt. “I’m pretty sure Nick’s asleep, I don’t want to wake him up.” She replies, walking over to take the shirt out Chris’s hands and pull it over her head. A subtle smile tugged at Chris’s lips, “So, where are you sleeping then?” He asked curiously, glancing down at the shorter girl as she readjusted her hair out the shirt. “I’ll just sleep on the sofa.” The girl replied with a nonchalant shrug. Chris raised an eyebrow and gently grabbed her elbow, pulling her just a bit closer. “You can sleep in my bed, it’s big enough for 2. I don’t want you to sleep on the uncomfy couch.” He said softly, smiling slightly at the girls slightly flustered expression. “..okay.” She mumbled shyly, following Chris to the bed.

“I like seeing you in my shirt.” Chris said without thinking, a blush immediately covering his and Y/N’s face. Y/N stayed silent, unsure of how to reply. Chris stayed silent too, quietly cursing to himself in embarrassment. After a few minutes, Chris can hear Y/N’s breathing softening. He glances over to see her peacefully asleep, and so he decided to try sleep too.

The next morning, Chris wakes up first. He pauses when he feels a weight on top of him, looking down he sees Y/N with her head on his shoulder, one arm around his waist, and one leg thrown over his hips, her knee placed right on top of his erection. Chris’s face turned a bright red, a small groan leaving his lips as he tried to subtly shift Y/N off him, but of course, Y/N wakes up.

“Fuck..” Chris whispers to himself, gently nudging Y/Ns knee off his crotch and making sure to keep his throbbing hard on away from her. “G’morning..” The girl grumbled, clearly still half asleep. “Morning.. I need a shower.” Chris says, standing up and grabbing a shirt before bolting out his room and towards his bathroom.

Chris quickly strips and gets into the shower, he debates for a moment about turning the shower cold, but he decides not too. Instead, his hand trails down and slowly wraps around his shaft, a low moan leaving his plump pink lips as he slowly starts to stroke it.

His mind is full of fantasies, and memories, all of Y/N. He starts to stroke faster, harder, his hips thrusting into his fist. His free hand holds up his weight against the shower wall, biting his bottom lip to muffle the moans. “F- fuck, ma..” He groaned as he finished, the sticky white substance going down the drain with the water quickly.

A soft sigh leaves Y/N’s lips as she stands up from Chris’s bed, she wandered out Chris’s room after brushing her hair. She heard the shower turn off in Chris’s bathroom and decided to do her skincare in his bathroom instead of Nick’s, so she went towards the door and knocked gently. “Yeah?” Chris yelled through the door, assuming it was Matt or Nick. Y/N walked in without thinking, only to be met with Chris naked stepping out the shower. Both paused, a bright red spreading across Chris’s pale cheeks and up his ears. Y/N, after getting over the shock, tried her best to not look at Chris’s on-display crotch. Chris scrambled and grabbed a towel as Y/N turned and quickly left the room, yelling a “sorry!” as she bolted down the hall. Chris quickly tugged his boxers and sweatpants on before bolting after Y/N. “Wait- Y/N!” He yelled after her.

@sturnioloshacker @sturnsbabie (hope y’all don’t mind being tagged😞)

PART 2 ::

[whumpster-fire]

Rating the Overlords in Hazbin Hotel:

#10: Valentino. Bitch ass motherfucker supreme. I want him to die and I want it to hurt the whole time he is dying. Fucking scumbag. Also IDGAF if he's a moth I will always maintain the headcanon that the sleazy prick is a pubic louse.

#9: That one blue firey skeleton dude in the meeting who didn't say anything. Has literally no characterization.

#8: Zeezi (that one pink and green lady at the meeting): Has literally no characterization but that color scheme is eye bleeding and I'm here for it.

#7: Rosie. Man she's cool and all, helpful to Charlie, friends with Alastor, but she just doesn't capture my interest the way the others do. Being the overlord of cannibals is a really niche thing it seems like compared to being in control of major forces that are fucking up society, I have a feeling she maintains her position because (a) she's smart, and (b) the other overlords don't really want her domain because taking eating human flesh to the level of an obsession is kind of dweeb behavior.

#6: Velvette. Horrible cringe zoomer iPad kid (or Millennial, I don't know). I absolutely love the fact that she showed up at the meeting and literally everyone else in the room was like "What's with this sassy... lost child?" Has so much potential though for her character to embody the absolute worst of internet culture. Next season I want to see Velvette trolling, going "L + Block + Ratio," and doxxing random sinners and getting them killed for her own entertainment.

#5: Carmilla Carmine. Awesome. I like seeing people in hell who are still people and not obsessed with becoming the most cartoonishly evil motherfucker possible because "hey we're already in hell, might as well get crazy." People can have friends, family, etc. and still do shit that gets them sent to hell. I'm getting "was leader of an organized crime family in life" vibes. Also has vibes of being one of the less horrible overlords to work for because she's emotional stable enough to know that being cruel to your minions for fun is bad for morale.

#4: Husk. Okay he's a former overlord but let's say Overlord Emeritus. He has my respect as an overlord for dying in like the 70s but choosing an absolutely classic vice to make his domain: drinking and gambling. Also the timeline here implies he rose to power when Alastor was already around. I wonder if there was a power vacuum because Al killed the previous overlord of gambling?

#3: Vox. I hate his cringey techbro ass but in a "I want to put this man in a jar and shake it vigorously" way. The fact that he actually enjoys Valentino's company is a major minus though. I kind of wanted to see a strained business relationship where he dislikes Val immensely but works with him because sex sells and Val has the market cornered. Also his voice is kind of... generic. I was really hoping for him to have a Mid-Atlantic Accent but of a more "mid-century TV anchor" type to make it extra clear how much he wants to rip off / replace Alastor and as a part of him that isn't as hip and modern as Mr. Died In the 50s wants to present himself as.

#2: Zestial. Hello Mr. Tall Dark and Mysterious. He is so fucking cool. I want so badly to believe that he and Alastor are genuinely friends and respect each other but also Alastor respects Zestial enough to want him to think he's cool, and when Zestial showed up Alastor internally panicked because of 'Oh shit my friend showed up while I'm being trailed by the lamest minions in hell, he's going to think they're mine this is so embarrassing!'

#1: Alastor. What a fucking guy. This man is being dragged kicking and screaming into character development and I am here for it.

[daenystheedreamer]

i thoght the yaoi thing was joke? :(

its /hj. tbc i haaaate most yaoi the majority of it is tasteless voyeuristic erotica which isnt like an evil thing to make but still extremely bad. i think its funny and i mostly read it cos its hilarious. more thoughts under the cut

it's misrepresented and #misunderstood especially by western gay people. its not representation, it's not 'led by queer people', and the difference between 'yaoi' and 'boy's love' is marginal. it's predominantly heterosexual women who enjoy writing drawing reading two (or more..) guys fuck which is fine. yaoi vs bl is often used as both a categorical distinction (yaoi is erotica, bl isn't) and a moral one (yaoi is cringe/homophobic/bad and bl is pure/wholesome/untainted) which is like fundamentally so wrong if you know anything about the genre.

the history is really interesting. It's roots are firmly in shojou manga, as in, explicitly for young women. early works are often taboo-breaking and deal with sexual abuse, incest, etc. an early muse for the genre was bjorn andressen as tadzio in the film 'death in venice' and if you know anything about that film and andressen says A Lot. shonen ai (literally boy love) was originally a term which was pederastic in nature but became the name for the genre. to crib from the wikipedia article cos it summarises it well:

While the term shōnen-ai historically connoted ephebophilia or pederasty, beginning in the 1970s it was used to describe a new genre of shōjo manga (girls' manga) featuring romance between bishōnen (lit. "beautiful boys"), a term for androgynous or effeminate male characters. Early shōnen-ai works were inspired by European literature, the writings of Taruho Inagaki, and the Bildungsroman genre Shōnen-ai often features references to literature, history, science, and philosophy; Suzuki describes the genre as being "pedantic" and "difficult to understand", with "philosophical and abstract musings" that challenged young readers who were often only able to understand the references and deeper themes as they grew older.

Yaoi, on the other hand:

Coined in the late 1970s by manga artists Yasuko Sakata and Akiko Hatsu, yaoi is a portmanteau of yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi (山[場]なし、落ちなし、意味なし), which translates to "no climax, no point, no meaning".[f] Initially used by artists as a self-deprecating and ironic euphemism, the portmanteau refers to how early yaoi works typically focused on sex to the exclusion of plot and character development; it is also a subversive reference to the classical Japanese narrative structure of introduction, development, twist, and conclusion

by the way, that [f] note is: "The acronym yamete, oshiri ga itai (やめて お尻が 痛い, "stop, my ass hurts!") is also less commonly used."

Like the term fujoshi, meaning 'rotten girl', is the same it's very silly and self-deprecating. That's so fun! I think the yaoi genre in general is a really interesting phenomena that's rooted so deeply in Japan as a culture. I think it's great that women are able to sincerely enjoy something fun, I think it's great that women were able and continue to have successful careers in writing, and I also think it's mostly bad.

A lot of modern stuff, especially the works getting pumped out of korea by genuinely evil webtoon companies, suffer from the fundamental problems with serialisation. It putters from chapter to chapter and every single one is the same as the other. A lot of Japanese bl/yaoi is in the form of short fiction, about 5-10 chapters, and again there are fundamental problems with this. they often suffer from too much crammed in AND from so little stretched thin.

I also think yes morally or 'representationally' or whatever they are like Pretty cringe. like sorry uke/seme is BAD. sexual assault is not even handled so much as it is kicked around. Women are non-existent at best and horrifically sexist at worst. Also the writing, though ofc i read (often fan-) translated works, just sucks.

You guys don't know how bad it gets. like ok example.... it's hard giving examples cos most of its just boring or bad in a lame way. okay there's this korean rom-com drama webtoon about a boss and his employee and the boss is actually an immortal snake-deity who fell in love with this guy and his employee is the reincarnation of that guy. sounds fine right? well the snake boss has two dicks. So.

[faolanmoon]

Random Short Solomon headcannons

Stfu I know I’m literally posting this the day after his birthday ( which is also my mother’s birthday) but I had more important shit yesterday like my mother’s birthday being the next day.SOME OF THESE ARE CRACK.

He’s probably forgotten to die at least more than once. I just find this to be funny as hell honestly .You can’t convince me that if he physically aged he’d look so old he’d like he forgot he’s passed his life’s expiration date even though he doesn’t have one. Dude just gets in a situation that’s supposed to be fatal is just like “wait I’m supposed to die?”

Is probably the only MF who has tried challenging Leviathan to the Devildom’s equivalent to Smash Bros. before MC that has come close to beating him.Levi almost lost ONCE due to RNG and Solomon spamming, and he refused to play another game with him for a long time because of the spamming.

100% has a stick enchanted with knockback II in Minecraft called the “Yeet Stick” he uses primarily for trolling. Especially on Asmo who doesn’t wear armor, like ever. Levi has kicked him out of the game several times over the Yeet Stick. Only MC is safe from the Yeet Stick because they have “Hide-the-body-anatior ”( basically a netherite sword with all the best enchantments possible) and can one shot his ass without proper armor.(Levi is the same, he just doesn’t have a funny name for his netherite sword like MC does)

He’s the reason why the ice cream machine at McDonald’s is always broke, don’t @ me. He’s so bad at cooking he couldn’t even work at fast food.

Shouldn’t know what Gen Z slang is because of his age, but somehow does. It’s scary because of how he’s able to blend into modern human culture, not as scary as Diavolo trying to be trendy and just being cringe, but it’s still “how do you do fellow kids?”.

Is not allowed within 100ft of Lucifer sometimes because he gets so pissed of at Solomon trying to make a pact with him. Solomon, it’s literally like my dad bringing home the milk, it’s never happening.

Speaking of dads I feel like he’d probably have the worst dad jokes, I would list an example ,but not even I would get it.

Would be the type of mf to shitpost on the main account. Idk how ppl on Instagram shitpost , I grew up on the SparkleCat and Sparkledog days of DeviantArt, you think I use Instagram? I just know it’s what Devilgram is based off of.

Speaking of one of the social media platforms I know more about, whatever the Devildom’s equivalent of Tumblr is, he Levi and MC 100% have one. Solomon only has an account for chaos and some of the shitpost this beautiful Superhell( complementary) has meanwhile Levi is here for fandom stuff and is 100% a Tumbler Vet, Mc has an account for both reasons.

Solomon is also the only person besides Levi and MC who would know wtf Discord is and would have one. Remember the time before Rhythm bots 1 and 2 shut down in 2021? Yeah he’d 100% be trolling in VCs with those bots. (Also before someone in 2023 tries to be a smart ass check the date before you “Well actually the Rhythm bots are back as if 2023 🤓” because it’s not 2023 as I write and publish now is it?) The very last thing he ever had a Rhythm bot play was The Sound of Silence ( or more commonly “Hello Darkness My old Friend) on that famous day in September 2021 when the bots shut down. After the bots shut down he’d instead troll with Discord voice mods. Besides trolling, Solomon would be a massive shitposter when a hard drive of memes that are no where near as many as Levi has.

When no one else is around ( especially Luke) Barbatos goes full Gordon Ramsay on him.

Beel can be heard weeping whenever he smells Solomon’s cooking.

Him and Mc are the only humans who don’t fear God nor death. Not even 13 can make them fear death.

Mammon, Luke , Simeon, Raphael and 13 get trolled the most by him.

Do not let him or anyone in general discover MC’s fan base, fanfics about MC, or any ships involving MC. He’d be the one most chaotic fans MC has the moment he does. Would be the type to make shitposts out of MC ships and use it to fuck with Mammon and Levi who totally wouldn’t already have started shipping wars.

And on fucking with Mammon he’s 100% been robbed by him and would use magic to fuck with Mammon since he’s why we can’t have shit in the Devildom or Detroit.

Solomon and MC are both Asmo’s feral gremlins that should be feared, Solomon is just less bloodthirsty than MC.

None of the Henrys trust him, not even 2.0. Henry 1.0 would kill him without hesitation while Henry 2.0 flares his gills up when he sees him.

[nanjokei]

i just think some people get a kick off of feeling superior to people who like one of the biggest normie games in the market currently. i can't comment on it myself, cuz i did not get far in it (i just don't like open world games), but a lot of people who aren't even into the story like the game for the game part! some people just think the characters are cute. it doesn't have to be a masterpiece and the characters don't have to have the best designs in the world. sometimes you read a stupid ass comic strip in the newspaper and you get excited every sunday to see the extra long strip of it. it's not that deep.

it's weird because it's ok to like bad and weird things, but only as long as it's "in" and still hipster. i think it's because genshin is so mainstream that it is an easy target. but it's precisely because it is mainstream that i increasingly find it cruel. the reason people are so wowed by simple and "generic" (this is incredibly subjective by the way) because it's probably one of their first entry points to anime style games and the like. so it just feels... more and more BAD dunking on it.

not to mention that despite typing all this up, i truly could not care less about it and my frustration mostly stems from a place of "you guys aren't criticizing it because you care, you're criticizing it from a place of bad faith". idk if that even makes it sense. but even if i don't like something, personally, i try to at least understand where it and its fans are coming from. even if i don't agree with it. because nothing is more frustrating than people casting shallow assumptions and running wild with it.

people wanna be like "cringe culture is dead" and "like what you like" while also doing this. the other day i tried out star rail and thought it was really fun, but i was too embarrassed to praise it publically without resorting to some kind of "but im self aware" safeguard. i really examined those feelings after the fact, after i made that post. i wanted to understand why i acted like that even though i don't like that kind of behavior. even if i try to be above it, social pressure is such a drug. wanting to fit in and not come off a certain way, enjoying something people potentially consider cringe and bad, i struggle with it more than i want to admit. i don't think i can be too loud about enjoying that game even if i try to critically tackle my behavior. because of the pressure and silent (loud) hostility.

if you play this game you think it's the best thing ever and play nothing else. if you like these characters you think they're the only characters in the world. if you like this design you have no taste and your standards are low. SO EXHAUSTING. IT'S SO MUCH PRESSURE. this hyperbole people just toss around is so hypocritical...

i will never claim to be an ideologically pure person, or a person without bias. ever. i am a very flawed human being. i have opinions that are mean and elitist, but i try to keep them to myself, or soften the blow, keep it in a less public space, and i try to have empathy above all else. i'm not perfect. i don't know. just having a moment of introspection. thinking about why all of this bothers me so much. sorry for the long post. also im on my period right now so maybe that's why

people living in glass houses shouldn't cast stones

i dont ride or die for hoyoverse but the brand of post just dunking on the games and their fans for existing is so exhausting. like yeah, easy target, easy validation feedback loop, whatever. do what you need to do. i don't even disagree sometimes. you won't catch me thinking good things about genshin most days but at some point just like how the designs are supposedly so generic, the criticism is pretty generic too. don't people get tired of consuming the same opinion over and over? and also repeating it?

i should not be getting so bothered and defending a game i don't even like and probably will never get into (ive tried two seperate times) but that genre of post just gets on my nerves now. just as annoying as the annoying fans

[giantsreach]

part of having written carver since like. 2013/14 is that i can never remember which topics i’ve posted meta on but i’m pretty sure i haven’t discussed his banter with fenris in-depth on this blog yet.

i think something that rubs me the wrong way about the way carver and fenris often interact in fan work is that there tends to be an underlying and fundamental misunderstanding about why carver approaches fenris in the manner he does. i’ve seen a lot of carver talking out of his ass to fenris for no reason other than a ) he thinks he knows better, and/or b ) his overly critical eye wants to fault-find. + he’s annoying or smth to that effect. 🙄

these interpretations tend to neglect the actual driving force behind carver interacting with fenris in the first place, and that’s that carver has had little exposure to other warriors. apart from his time in king cailin’s army, he was peerless ( literally ) in his field, and only interacted with his fellow swordspeople when they passed through town via the imperial highway. 

now, there is aveline, of course, but the writing makes it clear that aveline takes on the role of yet another older sibling ( or family of a similar, authoritative position ) in his life, and as such, doesn’t quite qualify as a peer in the traditional sense.

this likely isn’t the most flattering way of phrasing it, but carver wants friends. people who he can relate to, who share his interests and background, who find him as compelling as he finds them. carver may seem prickly or sullen in act i ( and he certainly is at times ), but he’s also experiencing two-prongs of isolation:

     1 ) cultural, as a fereldan refugee in a city-state that doesn’t try to hide its hatred of foreign asylum-seekers, and      2 ) mundane, as a displaced young man who has never quite fit in at home nor in any village they've settled in, and who has recently lost the family member closest to him, and who watches his surviving sibling pick up new companions left and right as if it’s not at all difficult.

cut to fenris, who is a consummate swordsman. and while carver is initially on edge because he's under the impression fenris could pose a threat to hawke, once the tension is dispelled, he's far from opposed to fenris's presence. if anything, carver is eager for his approval. fenris is, aside from aveline, the only warrior carver gets to spend any considerable amount of time with, and he's singular in his skill and ability. it's plain to see why someone like carver, starved for peers, would want to establish some kind of rapport with someone as exemplary as fenris.

the problem is, naturally, that carver — nineteen and having never learned to read socialize properly, due in equal parts to growing up sheltered as well as having poor self-confidence — cannot stop himself from saying shit that is so mind-blowingly stupid, that it is a wonder fenris was as forbearing as he was. i'm talking about:

Carver: So... this master of yours wants your markings back? Skin and all? Fenris: So his hunters told me. Unwillingly. Carver: So why not cover them up? Wouldn't that make you harder to find? Fenris: Let them come. I am not one to hide. Carver: Still, if it were me— Fenris: It's not. ─────── Carver: So you've really never thought of hiding from those hunters? Fenris: To what end? Carver: So you could, I don't know, have a life? Fenris: What life do you have? There are no hunters after you at all.

i feel like it should be obvious why these banters are in bad taste, so i won’t go into detail to lambaste carver over his blatant ignorance. the dialogue is proof itself, especially considering how little of fenris’s experience carver ( or anyone else for that matter ) can truly comprehend. 

what i will do, true to form, is explain that no, carver did not just pull that suggestion, careless as it was, out of his ass. while hawke may or may not do their best to lay low as an apostate, potentially choosing to engage then-knight-captain cullen over the unjust treatment of mages depending on player discretion, carver has internalized how malcolm guided the family. his father taught them to keep their heads down and be prepared to hit the road in case the circle caught scent of them? then that must be the best way to approach it. emotional neglect unfortunately primed carver to idealize and adopt malcolm's choices and general philosophy. this carries over even to legacy, where, regardless of carver's current character arc, carver will agree that malcolm was correct to keep secrets.

so there's fenris, right, who carver believes is in a position similar to that which the hawkes have been in. carver, attempting to help ( as he is wont to do ), wants to share what had worked for them in attaining a semblance of normalcy, not realizing or considering that that is not fenris's foremost goal. hiding is not a one-size fix-all solution, but carver hasn't expanded his horizons well enough to grasp that fully yet.

then there's largest contributors to my secondhand embarrassment in da2:

Carver: You're very different from other elves. Fenris: Oh? You know them all? Carver: No. I just... you look different. There's no denying that. Fenris: It is what I am. And unlike the problems you claim to have, I really did have no choice. Carver: Do we know anyone who isn't brooding every hour of the day? Fenris: Like attracts like, it seems. ─────── Carver: You know, Fenris, I have a tattoo. Fenris: You have a what? Carver: A tattoo. A lot of us got them before Ostagar. It's a Mabari. For strength. Fenris: Does it curse you with the ability to reach into a man and tear out his insides? Carver: Uh. I can make it bark. Fenris: Please don't.

i’ll start with the second one first. at its heart, the tattoo banter hearkens back to the fact carver wants to feel like he has something in common with someone. yes, it is cringe. but it’s also misguidedly sweet, and on top of that, it’s something carver also tries to do with merrill, who carver arguably has the friendliest dynamic with out of hawke’s crew. 

Carver: Your people came a long way Merrill, but I like to think that we have Ferelden in common. Merrill: I never saw Lothering. Did you walk as much as we did? Probably more, you didn't start with halla. Our ship stunk. Carver: Your ship? Merrill: There was something foul in the hold. I can still smell it. Carver: Oh, well, that must have been unpleasant. Merrill: It was. Did I miss something dirty again? Carver: No.

speaking of parallels, the “you’re very different from other elves” dialogue mirrors this one with merrill:

Carver: So, you're not like a lot of other girls. Merrill: No, I'm an elf. Carver: Right. Alright then. Merrill: Oh, did I miss something dirty? Carver: What? No! It wasn't dirty. It wasn't anything.

yes, i took 42069 points of psychic damage from reading that too. but the main takeaway from this is that carver is trying, poorly, to make the two people he thinks he could be friends with feel like they’re special. ( you know, like how carver wishes he was. lol. ) to disastrous results. but i think it’s more than worth mentioning that the intent behind his conversation-making is never once condescending. 

and it’s not like carver lacks self-awareness, either. after he becomes a warden and returns to the party for mark of the assassin, he admits he lacked polish.

Aveline: I'm glad you found a place with the Wardens. Carver: Well, it's not the city guard, but it'll do. Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you. Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I?

Carver: So, we're lost. Varric: Just like old times. Carver: Maker, I hope not. I was an ass. Varric: (laughs) Fair comment, Junior. All right, let's get this done.

and specifically to fenris:

Carver: Orlesians. Can't build a hallway without turning it into a maze. Fenris: Keep going. I'm sure your training will kick in any moment. Carver: Still don't like me? I've tried to change. Fenris: You have. Now you're dangerous. Let's move.

i don’t know how to end this nearly 1.5k meta, so tl;dr i guess

[spellbound-banshee]

And You Kissed Me - Peter Parker

Summary: You’re the one to make the first move after MJ tells you that Peter likes you. Of course she would be the one to tell you.

Warnings: lots of fluff, unwanted flirting, some physical violence

Pairing: Peter Parker (TH) x Reader

“You don’t know what you’re talking about MJ.” You waved her off, anxiously eating your lunch as you processed the new - and probably false - information.

“I always know what I’m talking about,” her response seemed effortless, “he’s definitely into you, have you noticed the way he ogles over you? It’s like a 90s movie where everything just sort of slows down and there’s a love song in the background.” You chuckled at the somewhat specific reference, but nevertheless continued to deny it internally. “You have to face the facts and make a move, it’s honestly a sin that you guys aren’t together.”

“Who said I liked him?” You asked, your mouth halfway stuffed with food as you saw the boy in question begin to walk over with his tray.

“You didn’t have to.” MJ just smirked and took a bite of her apple as Peter got closer. “Face it, he’s not going to make a move. And what’s the worst that could happen if you just... make one yourself?”

You were about to respond but just as you opened your mouth Peter set down his tray with a bit of a suspicious glance. “Are you guys talking about some girl stuff because I could just... walk away.” You just smiled and shook your head, hearing MJ chuckle at the chemistry you two clearly had. 

“Not at all, please do sit.” Peter smiled sheepishly and sat down in front of you, where he always sat. You weren’t aware of the fact that he sat there just to look at you and feel like he was actually having a conversation, but Peter and MJ knew. Which is why as soon as Peter looked back at his tray, MJ mouthed ‘make a move’, and you responded with a harsh glare.

-

“Hey, Peter?” You walked up to his locker as he was taking out the last of his things. He seemed surprised by your voice and shut his locker a bit so he could see you - you seemed to grow increasingly beautiful each period.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Are you doing anything right now? Like after school?” He swallowed harshly, he wasn’t sure what your intention was and he could literally never say no to you... but with his patrol he wasn’t sure if- “I was just wondering if you’d want to take the bus with me. There’s this dude on there and he’s... been kinda freaking me out but I don’t have any other way home.”

Peter didn’t hesitate to be your hero. “Oh, yeah, of course. Who is he? Did he like... touch you or hurt you because I’ll-”

“Easy there, tough guy.” You chuckled, putting a hand on his shoulder. Though you weren’t showing it, your heart was literally beating out of your chest as you replayed your plan over and over in your head. “It’s fine, he’s just overly flirty.” Peter let his guard down a bit but he would make sure he didn’t make you uncomfortable today. His chest swelled with pride in knowing that you felt safe around him, and his smile brightened at the thought.

Once you got to the bus, Peter was on guard. And you could definitely tell based on how stiff he was. “Okay Superman, listen.” His eyes darted to your face at the sound of your voice, his features softening as he looked down at you. “It’s okay, relax. I can handle myself I just feel like... maybe he’d leave me alone if I actually had a friend with me.” Peter felt his heart sink at the mention of ‘friend’ but once again, he nodded and tried to relax.

And your bus finally arrived, where you led Peter to the back of the bus, you usually there sat by yourself with a book and a pair of headphones. You smiled back at him as he walked shyly behind you, not having been on a bus for a while since he could literally swing himself home and take the sub in the morning. Peter sat with you in the back, taking the aisle seat as he figured he could potentially block you from... he didn’t know what, it just felt better.

That’s when Peter heard it: “Hi again, hot stuff.” He felt you shift in your seat as his friends behind him laughed and practically egged him on.

“Bradley, not today please.” You rolled your eyes, continuing to look out of the window as the bus started to move. Peter looked up at the senior, his dark hair was pushed back into a snapback and he wore a letterman jacket with school colors. He wanted to say something, but he bit his tongue, figuring you could handle yourself until it got too uncomfortable.

“What’s wrong baby girl?” Ugh, even he felt uncomfortable hearing that. “Come on, let me bring you to one of my games and you could... watch me win.” Peter cringed a bit, not wanting to sink into his seat but seeing you there just brushing it off made him feel like he could too.

“Yeah, I’d love to see you wrestle around with a bunch of dudes in the dirt.” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, knowing it wasn’t going to stop even if Peter was there. “Please just... leave me alone.”

“If I do will you let me take you out?” Peter felt his body heat up, clearly this dude didn’t know what the word ‘no’ meant or how to properly talk to women. That’s probably why he couldn’t land one, the thought almost mode him smirk but he kept it down. “Oh come on, baby. Lemme take you out, I’ll show you a good time during...” He reached over his seat and started to reach for your hair, “and after.”

“Hey man, she said leave her alone.” Peter said, smacking his hand away before he could touch her - he also stood up so he could be level with Bradley, even though he stumbled a bit due to the motion of the bus.

“Don’t touch me, geek. She knows she wants it... she’s just in denial.” The way he looked at you nearly sent Peter into a frenzy, and you could tell from the way his breathing started to pick up. “Get out of my face.” The jock shoved Peter against the wall of the bus, and it didn’t hurt that bad due to his strength but it still startled him a bit. Now some heads were turning.

“Don’t fucking touch him.” You stood up, putting a hand in front of Peter as you saw him getting ready to launch at the jock. “Let it go.” You said softly, and from the way you were looking at him, he let out a breath and tried to calm down. “Come on, we can just walk the rest of the way.” Taking Peter’s hand, you began to lead him down the aisle with wobbly footing, knowing it would be worth it.

“So lame, the geek needs a girl to protect him.” Before Peter could even turn around you shoved past him and slapped Bradley directly across the face, hearing some cringes and ‘oohs’ from around the bus.

“Peter doesn’t need anyone to protect him. If anything I was protecting you from a fucking broken nose.” Peter just felt himself smile, seeing the jock having to recover from the force of the slap. His eyes also widened from seeing this new side of you, this defensive side, especially over him - it managed to be cute and hot at once. Stop it, now isn’t the time.

“I know you don’t actually need this bus to get home, but I do. So the next time I get on this bus, your ass better be walking to your fucking house.” Peter just stood there in sort of an awkward position, but unable to keep his eyes off of you and your angered figure. “And if I hear any more complaints about you harassing women on this campus, I will literally kick you into next Sunday, got it?” Bradley didn’t need to say anything, you knew it was more of a rhetorical question, so you grabbed Peter’s hand and practically stomped down the aisle. 

Your ears were ringing from the energy that rage took to get out, but you swore you heard some claps and cheers emerged from the bus seats.

-

“Thanks, by the way.” You said as Peter walked you to your house, even though you insisted he didn’t have to do that. It was a stupid insist for many reasons. 1, of course he wouldn’t leave you to walk alone. And 2, where else would be go?

“F-For what? I didn’t do anything.”

“I don’t think I would’ve done that if you weren’t there. And when he touched you I just... something clicked.” Peter just nodded, holding on to the straps of his backpack as he walked slowly beside you towards the complexes. It would be a long way, but it was worth it if he got to talk to you. “Sorry for making a scene. I just... I get defensive.”

“I’m just happy you stood up for yourself,” Peter smiled at you, “you don’t deserve that. Nobody does, but I’m positive you scared him, so it should be over.” You nodded, smiling sheepishly back at him, and once again he refused to make eye contact. “And uh... if it doesn’t and you.... want help I can... help you, y’know if you want.” You thought it was cute, the way he seemed to get nervous around you, and of course you just thought it was his natural awkwardness, but MJ made it apparent that’s not what anyone else thought.

“Thanks, Parker. I can always count on you.” And then there was a short pause, where all you could hear was passing cars and the sound of your shoes clicking against pavement. “Are you okay?”

“Me? Oh yeah, don’t worry about me. It didn’t hurt that bad, for someone so big and labelled as ‘tough’ you’d think he’d shove harder.” You laughed, throwing your head back against the wind and Peter just admired you with a loving glance. He almost couldn’t stand how beautiful you were, there wasn’t one thing to fixate on, everything about you just stood out to him and it was blinding.

“You’re funny, I think I’ll keep you.” Now it was his turn to laugh, and yours to admire. You had to admit he was one of the cutest kids at your school, which made you wonder why girls weren’t practically throwing themselves at him. Sure, he was considered ‘nerdy’ and he was pretty awkward, but he didn’t deserve the pushback he got for it. Peter liked Star Wars and building computers, and cheesy pop culture references, but he was one of the smartest people you knew. He was also the sweetest guy you’d ever met. He seemed like the whole package.

By the time you actually got to your house nearly an hour had passed, but it felt like nothing since it was filled with laughter and unknown loving glances. You spent most of it gaging how you should continue with your plan... how and if you should continue with it.

“Okay, this is me.” You smiled, guesturing towards the upper floors of the tall apartment building you lived at. Of course he knew, he’d been over a few times to help with homework where nothing ever got done, you ended up watching movies together on the couch and eating May’s awful cooking. “Thank you, honestly you didn’t have to come with me.” 

As you pulled him in for a hug, he chuckled lightly against your shoulder. “It was my pleasure honestly, I love hanging out with you.” You smiled at that, your heart pounding in your chest as the internal battle of thoughts began. “Thanks, by the way.” He said, pulling away from you and you gave him a curious tilted look. “For calming me down. It’s hard sometimes with me but you always manage to do it and i never properly-”

You kissed him. You were barely paying attention to anything he was saying you just... kissed him. As quickly as you had pecked him, you pulled away with a look of shock on your face, attempting to apologize profusely but the words were stuck in your throat. “...and... you kissed me.” He was just as shocked as you were, and you stood there in heavy awkward silence for a couple of seconds before you blurted:

“Yeah I uh... I’m sorry. I just... I like you. A lot.” You regretted the words the instant they came out, seeming to turn pale as the embarrassment and shame washed over you.

“What?” There it was, the inevitability of rejection - you felt overwhelmed with emotion, all of the worst thoughts beginning to take over your mind and heart. You were about to start crying until he uttered: “(Y/n)... I-I really like you too.” Your head shot up at his words, and he was almost surprised at how shocked you were. “(Y/n) I’ve literally... had a crush on you since... god, since elementary school.”

“Y-You have?”

“Yes! I-I thought it was obvious but... I figured you didn’t like me back so I didn’t say anything about it when we actually became friends because I didn’t want to mess anything up but...” He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled, once again unable to make eye contact with you. “(Y/n), can I kiss you?”

Without a response, you just closed the distance you’d created by drawing back and pressed your lips against his. He was a bit surprised at the sudden contact but he tried not to hesitate, returning the kiss as softly as he could. Your hands grabbed both sides of his face, you could cry at how much raw passion and emotion you had bottled up inside. 

Peter felt your sudden urge grow and he felt himself beginning to match it, years and years of frustration, pure adoration and... love just pouring out at once. You opened your mouth and Peter felt your tongue slide into his, nearly pulling back at the sudden surprise but something about it just felt right. This was Peter’s first kiss, but he didn’t know - and couldn’t tell - that it was yours as well.

You pulled back for air, both of you wide eyed and staring at each other before breaking into giggles. Peter didn’t want to let go of you but he gave you space, you both needed to catch your breath. “Do you uh...” You chuckled at yourself, deciding fuck it and just going for it, “do you wanna get something to eat?”

Peter smiled endearingly, still love drunk from your lips and unable to focus on anything but you and your blinding glow. “Like... like right now?”

“Fuck it, right? Let’s just... let’s just get something to eat.” Peter chuckled at your state bliss, the love in his heart for you just growing more and more with each second he looked at you. “Yeah?” You asked, hopeful when you saw him smile.

“Yeah! Yeah, l-let’s go.” You two didn’t have a plan, but that’s what he liked about it - you lived in New York so you could basically stop anywhere nearby and get something cheap. And you felt alive, with Peter any moment felt new and rousing, and even though you didn’t know where you stood label wise, you decided to enjoy this moment.

Peter’s hard practically stopped when he felt your hand take his, smiling down at you as you showed him your brightest smile. He already felt so comfortable around you, as if you’d been dating for many years, and even though he didn’t know where you two stood label wise, he decided to enjoy this moment.

He hoped for many more years by your side. If you’d have him, of course.

-

taglist: @averyfosterthoughts

[twilightprince101]

You know what? Fuck it! I don't care if I'm not really into self-ship anymore, my Twin Dragons of River City AU was still a beautiful fucking piece of writing and I'm proud of it! I don't care what other people say I'm fucking proud of it, ESPECIALLY compared to the original!

And I'm going to take some time to rant the fuck out of this because I need to get my feelings out!!! IM PROUD OF MY FUCKING WRITING!!!

For those who followed me recently for Snax stuff, "Twin Dragons of River City" was a self-insert/self-ship thing I made a few years ago when I was going through High School. I got really into River City Girls and played through the entire thing (despite honestly sucking ass at it) but the surprise twist ending really peeved me off. So, in response, I wrote an ENTIRELY NEW SCRIPT of the game involving high school delinquent-versions of my dragonsona, Twi, and Empress from A Hat in Time

I essentially wrote an entire fucking mod-script, keeping the gameplay events more or less the same but changing the dialogue and cutscenes COMPLETELY! Empress was the head of a high-school gang and daughter to a crime lord, while Twi was one of the people following/training under her. Twi was one of the few people who showed care to Empress, while Empress taught him how to stand up for himself.

The whole story was centered around their own friendship, about both of them breaking away from their own given identities and forge a path of their own in life. Twi had to not just follow Empress but branch out himself and take command when his father was kidnapped, while Empress had to take a stand and break away from her mother's rule as they took on a grand conspiracy.

The bits that I did write for this here and there I kept to myself, but a few years later as I go through college and look back on it? Yeah it kicked fucking ass!!! Not only did I have fun it felt like a really heartfelt story too, despite it being just self-ship stuff. I only wrote the first half of the dialogue script for it, but honestly I'm tempted to go back and continue it because I had a lot of damn fun with it! I honestly think that it really helped me develop my own taste in solid friendships in media and I'm proud of it!

So yeah, go fucking hog wild with your self-ship stuff! Make as much self indulgent inserts and fanfics as you want! Don't let peer pressure get you down just go absolutely fucking nuts! Cringe culture is dead and even if you think your writing is """""bad""""" it still helps you develop your skills!

Fuck cringe culture go fucking nuts with it!!!

[just-a-quirkless-loser]

New Beginnings

Part Four: This Is My Pack

Part 3, Part 5

The first month that Chiyo spent living with Aizawa’s pack was different for her. All these personalities mingling together with so many different perspectives. It was almost like another culture shock for her. She kept her distance as she watched her new “pack mates” (at least, that’s what Aizawa tells her to call them).

To the normal eye, it seemed like the class was split into three groups. One group was headed by Midoriya but the fool likes to be referred to as Deku. Deku’s group seemed to be the most optimistic with more gentle, upbeat personalities. It was nice for Chiyo to see how calm the group could be. It taught her how to listen and care for others; it was different seeing how they cared for each other and not just Aizawa. The small things like Iida helping Deku with school work or Todoroki cooling Asui’s drinks so they wouldn’t burn her frog tongue, those small gestures showed her what it was like to have friends that counted as family.

Another group was overseen by Bakugou. Even if he was brash and harsh, Chiyo could see the obvious love that he had for his friends. As the star student although that was a debatable fact seeing as Chiyo held higher scores, it was virtually nothing for his pack mates to come to him for tutoring. And, he was actually really helpful. Just as he could be helpful, he was also fiercely protective. Fact: Bakugou didn’t trust Chiyo. He watched her like a hawk. Every day, he’d threaten to kill her. Eventually, his hostility died down once he deemed her as safe.

And, the third group belonged to Tokoyami. As a calming personality to begin with, he handled the others with the same dignity. Shoji remained to be close to him and had the same effect on the group. But, Chiyo couldn’t really figure out how they were a pack. How can they be a pack if they are divided?

That question was answered the moment Chiyo looked further into the pack. She saw how each member didn’t just stick to one single group. Everyone shows each other care and everyone was protective of each other. Bakugou may say he hates Deku but, she can see the underlying love that he has for him.

There was just one thing; Chiyo clearly knew she wasn’t welcome in the pack. Perhaps it was the fact that she threatened Hitoshi, or it could be that she was just foreign to them but, they didn’t pack to mingle with her. Aizawa did try to push them to integrate and enjoy each other’s company but, that didn’t really do anything. They would have to accept her on their own accord.

“Chiyo, do you know the answer?” Chiyo blinked as her attention was drawn back to Present Mic as he taught them English. She scanned the board.

“The subject of the sentence is I,” she raised her eyebrow. As a student, she’s actually diligent. She’s managed to push her way through the ranks to become number one but, she doesn’t really tell people about that. Bakugou has been assuming that either Todoroki or Midoriya took his spot (let’s just say the tantrum Bakugou threw rivaled a two year old).

“CORREECT LISTENER,” she cringed a bit. She still hadn’t gotten used to Mic’s loud personality.

After the English lesson, the other students left to go do some quirk training. Chiyo sat on her desk, staring out at the courtyard. She wasn’t even supposed to be using her quirk so, what’s the point in training? Although, Chiyo did feel bad for some of the Class 1-B students. Why did she get to be in the hero course if she doesn’t even want to be a hero?

“What are you still doing in here?” Shinsou stood at his desk as he addressed her. She crooked her head at him, feigning the look of a confused dog. “I thought you’d eventually start training with us.”

“I’m not going to be a hero,” she shrugged her shoulders. “If the universe wanted me to be a hero, it would have made that clear.”

“Well, maybe the universe sent you Aizawa as a sign,” Chiyo shrunk into herself. This was the longest she’d talked to anyone in the pack and it almost felt like he was encouraging her to join them.

Shinsou walked out and soon lunch came around. Chiyo normally had lunch on top of the school (which was kinda not allowed but what people didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them) with her only friend; Togata Mirio. Mirio had caught her up there one day when he was practicing phasing through floors. He didn’t really like the idea of her up there alone. So, he would tell his friends that he was practicing while he was with her.

“I think Hitoshi is warming up to me,” Chiyo giggled as she ate out of her binto box that she assumed Aizawa had made her. “He initiated conversation.”

“That’s good. I’m sure the rest of your pack will come around soon,” Mirio smiled like he normally does. She wanted to correct him on the fact that they weren’t her pack but she refrained. Trying to tell Mirio something was like trying to tell a bull not to charge at the color red.

“Maybe so. Anyway, how’s the other Big Two?”

“They’re good,” he chuckled. “Amajiki found a really sweet beta that takes care of him. I’m happy for him.”

“That’s good for him. You found anyone yet?” the girl was oblivious to how the yellow haired alpha stared down at her. While she was focusing on friendship, he was feeling something else. Something more cozy and warm-feeling.

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool. I don’t think she feels the same way though,” he scratched the back of his neck.

“Well, she must be something to catch your eye. She probably does feel the same,” Chiyo watched the sky as clouds passed by.

“Hmmm I’ll have to wait and see,” they sat with their legs hanging off of the edge of the building, hips almost touching. “Do you have anyone?”

“Nope,” she popped the ‘p’ on the word. “All I have is Aizawa and I think that’s good enough.”

“Well, I think maybe you should branch out and-“ Mirio was cut off by a loud commotion coming from underneath them. “We should probably check that out.”

Mirio and Chiyo ran down the stairs and to the lunchroom where the yelling got louder. They ran into her class being surrounded by the other students from the other classes. Chiyo fought her way to the crowd where Monoma from Class 1-B stood poking Bakugou in the chest.

“You guys think are so amazing, huh? What about us? What about everyone that’s impacted by you all? You’re not anything special!” Monoma said.

“If you were so great, you be with them you obsessive whining bitchy prick,” Chiyo stood in between the two of them. “Back the fuck off before I make you back off.”

Monoma recoiled a bit before he snarled and pushed Chiyo to the side by her face. Chiyo stood there, her face to the side as she clenched her fists. She was trying to contain herself from snapping but, there’s only so much a person can take.

“You need a girl to fight your battles?” that was as far as he could get before Chiyo grabbed his arm and pulled it behind his back till she could hear the satisfying crack. He cried out, a few students moving to his aid but stopped when they saw the look on her face.

“I’ll kill you. Stay away from MY PACK; this is the only time I’ll warn you,” she stepped away and left the lunchroom. Leaving the 1-A pack in shock. The rest of the day was uneventful but everyone’s mind was filled with the purple haired omega with red eyes even though they all swore her eyes were purple.

Aizawa was waiting for her when she entered the dorm. He was proud of her display of courage and protection of their pack. He knew this would be what everyone needed to accept her.

“Your pack?” he teased her as she walked by the couch he sat on.

“Shut your face, old man. I’m going to my room.”

“Such a tsundere. Don’t forget to come down for dinner with your pack.”

“Leave me the fuck alone before I gouge your eyes,” she took the elevator up to her room. Recently, she’s been customizing the walls; it appears the omega had a love for painting. She’s already started a mural of cherry blossoms that cover two walls of the room. The only thing that’s missing is her nest but, she doesn’t know where she’s going to get the stuff for it. She could just ask her alpha but knowing Aizawa, he’d tease her.

‘One of these days, I’ll make him step on a lego,’ such a tsundere indeed. When it came time for dinner, Chiyo’s normal seat next to Aizawa was taken by Shinsou. She quirked her brow, contemplating if she should Superman kick him out of her chair.

“You’re in my seat,” she pushed his shoulder a bit to move him.

“You sit next to me,” he smiled at her. What was happening?

“But, I wanna sit next to the old man.”

“Well, you sit with me now. Now sit before I glue your ass to a chair,” her pack snickered.

“There will be no ass-touching if it’s not from me,” she laughed and pushed Mineta’s perverted hands away from her.

“No one’s touching my ass,” Chiyo sat down.

“Not yet.”

“Shut up, ball face.”

——————————————————————————

@sinclairsamess @sakurashortstack

[seokoloqy]

Play Pretend | jjk (m)

➳ PAIRING: jungkook x y/n

➳ GENRE: smut, angst, soccer player!jk, fake dating!au, f2l

➳ WORD COUNT: 8.6k

➳ WARNINGS: mentions of cheating, minor violence, not rlly fingering but fingering ig, unprotected sex, dirty talk, creampie

➳ SUMMARY: walking under ladders, splitting the pole, breaking mirrors, going near black cats—just to name a few things Jeon Jungkook doesn’t do before his soccer games.

And after Jungkook catches his girlfriend cheating on him, he’s going to need a little more than luck to get her back. He needs you.

➳ A/N: it’s been a long time coming but she’s finally done!! Everyone say thank you to Jane (@perfectlylmperfekt) for kicking my ass every day and making sure I was writing

—

As rain batters against the windows, your cat saunters up to your lounging figure. He rubs against your blanket-covered legs, begging for attention and belly rubs. You set aside the tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream to run your cold hands across his back, enjoying his satisfied purrs as you coo, “are you bored too, Pitch?”

The cat you brought home from the shelter has become your best friend. He’s always there for you whenever Jungkook isn’t around and you’re grateful for his companionship. No matter how many times Jungkook begs you to get rid of him because of his superstitions, you refuse. Pitch is family now and there’s no way you’re giving him away because Jungkook thinks he’s bad luck.

The reruns of your favorite television show have been on since you got back from class and all you’ve done is lay around eating junk food. You’d be hanging out with your roommate, Jungkook if he weren’t already at his girlfriend’s house for the night. For now, it’s just you, Pitch, and one too many Oreos.

You hear the sound of your front door unlocking and a disgruntled sigh. The door slams shut and Pitch jumps off your lap, bolting across the floor and slinking back into your bedroom.

“Back already?” You call out to your roommate, who made an unexpected return. Jungkook told you he’d be back tomorrow, you were expecting the apartment all to yourself.

He doesn’t respond, the sound of his squelching footsteps across the wooden floor make your head turn. You’re surprised to be greeted with his shaggy, dripping hair and soaked clothes, grey sweater clinging to his skin as he stares dejectedly off into space.

“What happened to you?”

“I caught Sooyoung cheating on me and we lost the match,” he mumbles.

Jungkook sighs, flinging his duffle bag to the ground as he drags his feet over to you. Falling back onto the couch with his legs dangling over the armrest, he looks up at you hovering over his face, distraught by his confession.

“You okay?” You ask, trying to sound supportive.

He gives you an incredulous look, “I lost the match and my girlfriend cheated on me! I’m not okay at all!”

You raise your hands in surrender, “It’s not the end of the world, okay? It’s just one match and it’s her loss.”

“But she was my good luck charm,” he pouts, turning on his side to face the television.

Ever since they started dating, he’s won every game and somehow he’s convinced it’s her that helped him win. Though you only believe it’s just luck that he happens to win every time she’s there. She’s like a lucky pair of socks he needs for every game.

You roll your eyes, leaning back into the cushions and huffing, “How many times do I have to tell you that you’re a good player all on your own. Standing on the sidelines waving around some poster doesn’t correlate to you winning every time. You’ll do great with or without her.”

“No,” he stubbornly says, rubbing a hand down his face. “I need her.”

“How ‘bout I go with you for your next game?” you suggest, reaching over to grab your melting tub of ice cream. “I bet you’ll still win even without your lucky charm.”

“But you hate watching my soccer matches.”

“It’s just one game. How bad can it be?” You shrug, dangling the tub of ice cream over his face. “Now, eat this, it’ll make you feel better.”

—

“Where’s the cereal?”

“Huh?” you hum, snapping out of your reverie. He’s already wearing his purple jersey, lacing up his cleats, and waving around a box of cereal. Usually, you aren’t awake when he leaves for games, busy catching precious hours of sleep instead of waving him off.

However, your attention is focused on the tendrils of black ink crawling up his thigh beneath his shorts. You’re not very familiar with the tattoo, having only seen it once when he first got it. He had flashed his thigh to you unexpectedly with the flower patterns swirling up his leg and disappearing past the black fabric of his ridden up shorts. You’d turned away, refusing to look at his exposed leg, afraid of where the ink ended. Maybe it stops right above the hip bone, nearing mouthwatering territory. You regret not stopping to admire it now, dreamily eyeing the marks peeking from underneath the black nylon material.

“The cereal—there’s no more.” He shakes the empty carton, bringing your attention to him and raising an eyebrow. “Did you eat it all last night while I was gone?”

You scoff, lifting your hand to your chest and feign offense, “No, I would never eat your bland and healthy cereal.” Out of the corner of your eye, you spot a black creature creeping towards the countertop, jumping up and edging towards you. “Oh, Pitch!” you squeal, running your hand over his fur.

“Argh! Get that cat away from here. That thing is bad luck.” Jungkook backs up from the countertop, pressing himself against the stove, nails digging into his palms.

“In some cultures, black cats are considered good luck,” you state, playing with Pitch’s clawing pink paws. “Your fear of him is irrational. Besides, how can you be afraid of him? He’s so cute,” you coo, tickling his stomach.

“I’m not afraid of your cat. I’d just prefer if it weren’t around me before games.”

“Him, not it,” you correct, watching as Jungkook slowly edges around the stove and moves to the fridge.

“Whatever, just keep it away,” he dismisses, turning his back towards you to open the fridge and rifle through its contents of healthy options.

He seems fine, considering what happened yesterday. Still superstitious as always. But you’re wondering how he’s really feeling, hoping he’s not bottling up his emotions until he’s ready to burst.

“So,” you ponder, “have you called Sooyoung yet?”

He shuts the door, leaning his forehead against the cold metal with a dejected sigh, “I mean, we’ve been together for years. Don’t you think I deserve an explanation?”

You nod slowly, muttering, “I guess, but she cheated on you.”

“I know,” he grits his teeth, turning around with a red Gatorade in hand, twisting the lid open and taking a long swig, sloshing it around in his mouth before swallowing.

“Sorry,” you sheepishly apologize, turning your attention to Pitch instead returning his intense gaze lingering on you.

He cocks his head towards the door, “Let’s go.”

You slide off your seat at the island and head towards the door, regretting bringing up his girlfriend—well, ex-girlfriend. He follows closely behind, unconsciously pressing a gentle hand on your lower back and dragging along his grey duffle bag.

—

The hanging overcast sky brings a cold wind around the field, ripping umbrellas out of hands and blowing away lawn chairs not secured to the ground. As you step foot on the sinking, damp grass, you cringe seeing the underside of your semi-new white shoes become muddy and stained.

Jungkook strides onto the field with no problem, used to the conditions after heavy rain and loving the exhilarating feeling of playing on a damp field.

“It’s freezing out here,” you shiver, crossing your arms over your chest to conserve body heat. If you had known it was going to be this cold with the wind whipping about, you would have worn more than a sweater and maybe you would have brought your own chair seeing as the metal benches are still wet from the earlier rain.

Jungkook drops his duffle bag on the bench, shrugging off his thick jacket. “Here, take mine. I don’t need it anyway,” he offers, holding it open to allow you to slip your arms through the sleeves. As he helps you push your arms through the sleeves, his lingering warmth shields you from the cold and he brings his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Hey.” You twist to loosen his unrelenting grip on you. “Get off.”

“Not yet, wait till she sees,” he hums patiently, running his nose along the shell of your ear.

“W-What?” You stutter, squirming away from his heated breath puffing across your neck. You scan the crowd of people, spying the crowd for said ‘she.’ As you watch the bleachers a face appears in the stands, gazing down at your awkward position in one another's arms. Sooyoung’s beaming smile fades as she watches Jungkook press a kiss to your cheek and pulls you to his side, casually resting his arm over your shoulder.

While he pretends not to acknowledge her, she gets the message, timidly lowering the hand she almost waved. You can understand why Jungkook wouldn’t want to speak to her, after all, she did cheat on him. But what is he trying to accomplish by holding you so close?

“She’s jealous,” he smirks, “She’ll want me back soon enough.”

You gawk, no longer flattered by his intimate touches.

“Hey, pretend to be my girlfriend.”

“Excuse me?”

“Let’s make Sooyoung jealous.”

“How is that a good idea? She cheated on you and you still care about what she thinks?”

“Come on, Y/N, it’ll be like revenge.”

“Getting revenge never solves anything. If anything it makes everything worse.” You say, watching Sooyoung continuously glance at the two of you from her seat alone.

“Please? It’s just holding hands and stuff that’s it.”

Holding hands and stuff? Denying that you had a crush on your roommate/friend would be useless. Of course, you like him but pretending to be his girlfriend to get back at his ex? You guess it wouldn’t hurt to help your best friend.

“Fine.”

Jungkook grins, “this is going to be great. Stay here okay and watch me win this then.”

He places a seemingly quick and meaningless kiss on your lips, making sure everyone on the field and off has a chance to see, before dashing off to join his teammates at center field without another thought or explanation. You slowly lower yourself onto the soaked bench, faintly feeling the water seeping into your jeans, but you’re too distracted by the lingering taste of his lips. Your thoughts are a blur of chaos, still reeling from him calling you his new girlfriend and the unexpected kiss—a kiss you can’t wrap your head around.

Are you supposed to feel anything other than butterflies fluttering in your stomach? Why would he kiss you? He just wants to do it for show.

The referee blows on his whistle, starting the match and your gaze follows Jungkook. His determination and focus follow the ball and nothing else like the world falls away.

The ball is passed around and the crowd cheers, but all you can focus on is Jungkook. He runs after the ball, legs pumping across the field. The dark patterns of his orchid tattoo show beneath his shorts with every stride he makes.

Drops of rain begin to speckle your cheeks, you pull up the hood of Jungkook’s jacket. The rain begins to pour, hitting the field and bouncing off the surface. As rain drenches players and audience members alike, the game continues without a pause. Through the haze of water, you can see Jungkook still running despite rain falling in his eyes and his dark bangs sticking to his forehead. The purple jersey clings to the toned muscle beneath, giving you a view of his abs.

Oh man, you’re in trouble.

—

“Hey, wanna watch a-”

You make a beeline towards your bedroom, not wanting to spend another awkward second with him. The door slams behind you just as you hear him call out your name, wondering why you’re avoiding him.

You throw yourself onto your bed, burying your face in your pillows and screaming to release your frustrations. It’s mostly confusion though, you don’t understand anything.

In the hallway, you hear his footsteps walking past your door and you’re afraid he’ll swing your door open and demand you tell him what’s wrong, but the shower turns on instead. You breathe a sigh of relief, rolling over on your bed.

“You don’t just kiss a friend,” you mutter under your breath, talking to no one in particular until you hear a soft ‘meow.’ You’re reminded that Pitch hasn’t eaten yet and you haven’t refilled his bowl. If you get out now, you’ll be able to sneak back before Jungkook gets out of the shower. Peeling yourself off the bed, you peek your head out into the hall. The bathroom door across from you is shut with the melodious sounds of Jungkook’s humming beneath the trickling of water.

Pitch slips out of the room, dashing into the hall and you follow after him. In the kitchen, you grab a can of his favorite chicken flavor food from the cabinet to pour into his metallic bowl. He purrs with delight, picking up his meal.

You leave him to eat in peace, sneaking back to the hall where water has stopped running, but the door is still closed with the fan whirring inside. As you tiptoe towards your door, Jungkook emerges from the steam filled room wrapped in nothing but a towel, water dripping down his skin. It’s not like you haven’t seen anything before. His love for as minimal clothing as possible hasn’t phased you until now.

“Hey,” he greets casually as if nothing has changed. Maybe he doesn’t feel the tension slowly rising between you two, but you’re certainly feeling the repercussions of his kiss. You dodge around him to get to your room, muttering about a paper that’s due soon. Once you’re safely hidden in your room, you breathe a sigh of relief. You know you can’t avoid him forever. It’s childish to just ignore him and not address your problems.

A knock comes from behind your back, Jungkook calls through the door, “Hey, what’s up?”

The door swings open and you stumble away from the door as he pushes his way into your room. His head pops through the crack, peering at you with his brows furrowed. “Did I do something wrong?” he questions innocently, opening the door wider so he can step in.

“No,” you squeak, holding your breath as you notice his towel dip lower around his waist.

“Then what’s wrong? Wanna talk about it?”

“Nope,” You say, popping the ‘p’. “Now, get out of my room and put a shirt on please.”

He glances down, slyly returning his gaze back up to you with a smirk gracing his lips. “Oh,” he cocks his brow, “are you blushing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so red, Y/N.”

You move to push against his toned chest, forcing him out of your room. “Get out, I mean it, Jungkook.”

“Okay, okay,” he surrenders, walking backward. “I’m leaving, but if you ever want a taste—”

You screech, slapping his shoulder, “Get out!”

His laugh echoes down the hall as he walks back to his room.

—

“You’re coming to my game next week right?” Jungkook asks over a bowl of soggy cereal, spoon halfway to his mouth.

“No?” You stop petting Pitch focusing on Jungkook.

“What?” His spoon clatters against his bowl as he gives you a dubious look. “But you’re my good luck charm now. We won the last game with you. I need you!”

“I keep telling you—”

“It’s the championships! We can’t lose this.”

You cross your arms with a heavy sigh, ignoring the pleading look he gives you. When will he start to realize he doesn’t need anyone to win?

As you begin to argue with his logic, he interrupts, “I’ll clean out Pitch’s litter box for a month!”

You can’t argue with that. You’d rather sit on a cold bench for an hour or two than clean out the litter box.

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“After the championships, I’ll take you out to dinner. There’s this new fancy restaurant-”

“Like… like a date?” You blurt suddenly, interrupting him. You pull Pitch into your arms like he’s your comfort animal, holding him to your chest as you nervously look at Jungkook.

He furrows his brows as if the answer is obvious. He shovels a spoonful of cereal in his mouth, chewing and speaking slowly, “Yeah, I guess… me and Sooyoung were gonna go together, but you know…” A dark look rolls over his expression as he says Sooyoung’s name, recalling her betrayal.

“Oh,” you say, hoping to not sound too disappointed.

“I already made the reservations and there’s no point in letting it go to waste.”  

“Okay, sure.” You hoped he would be interested enough actually take you out because he wants to, not because he has no one else to go with. You don’t know why you feel so rejected.

As you run your fingers through Pitch’s dark fur and watch Jungkook finish off his bowl of cereal, you wonder why he doesn’t seem to care about the other day. He hasn’t mentioned the kiss.

“So, you’re headed off to practice today?”

His purple uniform is laid out on the counter, washed of all the dirt and sweat from the rigorous day before.

“Yeah, wanna come? We can go eat after afterward,” he suggests, getting up to put his bowl in the sink. “I mean, we haven’t hung out for a while.”

He’s right. The last time you both spent a good amount of time together was before he started dating Sooyoung. So you easily agree to his offer, happy to spend more time with him.

—

“You’re late. Laps.”

“But-”

“Go.”

Jungkook drops his bag to the ground, groaning as his coach gives the order and he’s forced to begin jogging around the rectangular white painted field. The rest of his teammates are in the middle of the field doing their usual drills with one another. You linger on the sidelines next to the water cooler like the towel boy dishing out water to every exhausted player that comes by. You don’t mind it though, it’s better than sitting on the bench doing nothing but idle on your phone alone. You like making small talk with his teammates every time they come for a drink.

Jimin seems especially thirsty today, however, taking every opportunity between activities to jog over with a clandestine smile.

“Again?” you laugh, moving to grab a paper cup to fill up for the sixth time.

“Hey,” he whines, gently prying it from your fingers. “You don’t have to pour it for me. I’m not a kid.”

“But there’s nothing else to do! I’ve just been sitting here watching you guys practice like some soccer mom.”

“Soccer moms are hot,” he comments with a simple shrug of his shoulder and a sly smile creeping onto his face.

“Ha-ha,” you mockingly laugh, rolling your eyes.

As Jimin moves to fill his cup beside you, you look over at Jungkook, surprised that he's already looking at you, more specifically at Jimin with an unamused expression. A deep scowl forming across his features. When he starts jogging over you avert your gaze to Jimin chugging down the water he had just filled.

“You’re spending more time with my girl than practicing,” Jungkook snidely comments, slinging an arm around Jimin’s shoulder to roughly pull him to his side with a fake plastered smile on his face.

“Sorry,” Jimin throws his hands up in surrender sarcastically. “I didn’t know you already got over your ex and started dating Y/N overnight. It takes getting used to.”

“Fuck you,” Jungkook spits, pushing a laughing Jimin off him. “You just like getting on my nerves.”

Jimin straightens his uniform, giggling, “Yeah, you’re right, but I also happen to actually like Y/N. I’m just trying to keep her company while you’re ignoring her for practice.”

Just as Jungkook begins to threaten Jimin, their coach blows a whistle, calling them both back over to the field, threatening them with more laps.

As they both jog back, giving playful shoves, you sigh becoming bored again.  

After they’re released from practicing the whole team runs to the water cooler to relax, sighing in relief after grueling drills. Most of them ignore you for their cups of water, but Jungkook and Jimin seem to fight for your attention.

“Are you coming to my house to hang out? The rest of the team is coming.” Jimin asks you and not Jungkook, purposely ignoring him. “It’ll be fun to hang out again.”

He reminds you of the days before Jungkook’s girlfriend when you all would hang out whether it was at Jimin’s apartment or over dinner.

“Sure,” you agree, happy to bond with the boys again.

“You said you were hanging out with me today though,” Jungkook interjects, refusing to let Jimin steal you away from him for the day.

You don’t want to disappoint either of them, deciding on a compromise, “Well we can hang out together at Jimin’s house, right?”

“Great meet you guys there.” Jimin waves as he scoops up his duffle bag and heads towards the car with Hoseok and Seokjin.

—

Jungkook has been glowering for a while now, watching Jimin laugh heartily with his arm wrapped around you. Everyone else seems to notice the tension rolling off Jungkook in waves, awkwardly glancing over at him occasionally but not caring enough to ask what’s wrong.

“Hey, Jungkook,” Yoongi calls from the kitchen, “Come open this jar.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, muscle boy, or I’ll have to break it open.”

“Fine,” Jungkook groans, rolling his eyes and pushing himself off the recliner into the kitchen to join Yoongi and Seokjin.

Taehyung sneaks up behind you on the couch, resting his head on his folded hands against the back. “So,” he ponders, “What’s it like being the rebound?”

You’re not sure who gives Taehyung the harsh smack to the head, but he whines and pushes himself up wondering what he did wrong.

He’s right. You are the rebound—fake rebound. It’s bad enough being a rebound but it hurts, even more, knowing that he doesn’t have the same feelings you do because he’s so caught up in trying to make his ex-girlfriend jealous.

“That’s not what he means, Y/N,” Jimin assures, trying to comfortingly lay a hand on your shoulder to ease your worries away. As much as he tries to help, not even his soothing touch or gentle words can help rid the way you feel about the whole unfortunate situation you find yourself trapped in.

Should you fake break up with him? Tell him it’s over and pretend it never happened? Maybe you should just let this whole charade continue until his ex finally wants him back. If she even wants him back. It’ll be easier for both of you. You won’t have to face him about your feelings and he will get the girl again.

You need to keep up with this whole fake dating charade.

“I’m okay with it,” you say, plastering on a fake smile to convince the boys, mostly Jimin who’s watching you with worry in his eyes. “Really, I am.”

“Dinner is ready.”

Everyone’s head whips to see Jungkook peeking his head out from the kitchen door whose eyes find Jimin’s strewn hand resting over your shoulder and narrowing.

As everyone jumps from their comfortable spot on the couch to scramble into the dining room, Jungkook grabs your arm to pull you back from the group.

“Do you want to go home? We don’t have to eat here.” His eyes dart over to Jimin’s back disappearing with the rest of the boys to eat.

“Why not? We should just stay here.”

“But you look upset.”

You hadn’t realized the look still plastered on your face. He noticed the way your downcast eyes avoid him.

“I’m fine, really, I’m fine.” You pull yourself away from Jungkook and follow the rest of the boys, ignoring the worried lingering eyes watching you walk away.

—

“Why are you so upset with me again?” Jungkook grumbles, slamming the front door shut behind him. You ignored him the whole time during dinner, even choosing to sit next to Jimin instead. You just didn’t feel right about this whole thing anymore.

“Because you’re such a...”

“Such a what?”

You fall on the couch, slouching into the cushions as he takes a seat next to you. Why doesn’t he see it? He’s blind to how he’s been acting lately. He’s so confusing. He acts as if you’re his real girlfriend, but doesn’t give you any real sign that he actually feels anything.

“You’re just so blind! You make me your fake girlfriend, but it doesn’t feel that way to me!”

“What do you mean? You know this was only to make Sooyoung jealous.”

That’s what hurts. The fact he doesn’t even acknowledge how you could feel.

“You act like some kind of jealous boyfriend when Jimin is around and you were never like that before. It’s just giving me mixed signals. For you maybe it was only about her, but what about me, Jungkook? What about how I feel?”

“And what do you feel?” He crosses his arms defensively, trying to figure out what you mean.

“I-I…” You can barely get the right words out, afraid of their consequence. If you don’t say the words now, you’ll be stuck. “I like you! More than you think. I like you more than a friend or roommate should and you’re just so blind!”

It feels better as the weight is lifted off your shoulders, but the longer you watch Jungkook’s expression simmer with confusion, the more you feel that pressure returning. He’s still so hung up on his ex, so what makes you think he’ll return your feelings? He did all this—pretended to have a fake girlfriend—just to make her jealous and get her back.

“I’m sorry I did this to you. I still have feelings for her, but I don’t want to lose you either.”

His hand slides onto your leg, firmly gripping the jean-clad thigh in an attempt to comfort you, not knowing what else to do. Your downcast eyes find their way to the black tattoo peeking from underneath his shorts, trailing and twisting a complicated path upwards to territory unknown.

“So does that mean you could feel the same?” You swallow thickly. You’re stuck, wallowing in self-pity and the uncontrollable urge to just kiss him and hope that he’ll change his mind about everything. That just one kiss could change your relationship and you’ll have everything you want. It’s pitiful to think a measly kiss could change anything between you, but why not be daring? Why not be bold and go for it?

“I-I don’t know.”

“Then do you,” you lick your lips, “want to find out?”

You begin to lean into him unconsciously letting your body make the first move. It’s just a kiss, right? When he kissed you on that soccer field everything seemed to change for you.

Your hand reaches the nape of his neck, slowly intertwining timid fingers with the dark, silky strands of hair, daring to brush your nose against his. Breathless—the air leaves your lungs with each centimeter your lips get closer.

“Y/N…” he murmurs just inches away from you, inches away from crossing an unspoken line of friendship.

As soon as your lips lock something more than friendship ignites. The warmth passing throughout your body is something more than the tingle of first kisses and innocent butterflies dancing around your stomach.

Jungkook’s hand moves from your thigh, sliding up to latch around your waist, pulling you forward until your chests press against one another. It’s like a spark has lit between you two, creating an irresistible pull to cling onto one another desperately.

His lips move from your swollen lips to the curve of your jaw, down to the nape of your neck, sucking and kissing every inch of exposed skin.

Your eyes flutter shut, taking in the way his mouth moves over your body, arching further into him for more. “J-Jungkook,” you moan as he pushes you back to lay flat against the couch.

He hovers over you, kneeled between your parted thighs, dark bangs brushing over his crescent lids and nearly shielding the hungry gaze in his eyes. Fingers teasingly circle the button of your jeans as his gaze flickers between wary and lustful. Jungkook cocks his head before asking, “You want this?”

Without a voice, you nod your response, hoping it’s enough to ease him.

“I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes, yes, I want this, Jungkook,” you whine, gripping his forearm with one hand to move him against your jeans again.

Your verbal confirmation allows Jungkook to finally move to unbutton your jeans, shoving his hand into your pants without hesitation. He’s eager now, not even waiting until you can get your pants off fully. Easily, he finds your clit and begins to rub in slow, languid up and down motions to draw out a pretty moan from your lips. He cracks a grin hearing those little whimpers and feeling your legs curl around his thighs from the pleasure he bring you with just a flick of his finger.

Your back slightly arches off the cushions when his finger leaves your clit to draw a line up your wet slit, collecting as much of your arousal as he can before slipping his glistening fingers out to admire them in the light.

“Fuck,” Jungkook moans, taking his coated finger into his mouth to suck off your juices. His eyes flutter shut as if he’s tasting the sweetest aphrodisiac that is you.

You lift your hips off the couch to press yourself into his erection, grinding against the loose material of his soccer shorts, feeling the hardness of his cock laid on your stomach. You tremble with anticipation as he pulls down your jeans, staring at your exposed cunt.

“God,” he groans, sliding himself down your body until he’s level with your pussy. He takes two fingers to spread your lips apart for a better view. “You’re dripping.”

You moan as he drags a finger up and down your slit, playfully teasing your fold, making you whine his name. The way you plead for him, beg for him, grind down on his teasing fingers, all set a fire inside you.

“Jungkook,” you mewl, “f-fingers.”

“Fingers or my dick first? Because you’re coming on both tonight.”

If your mouth wasn’t already hanging open from his fingers sliding up and down your folds, it would be now.

You gasp when the tip of his finger tentatively slips into you while your fingers claw at his shoulders between your thighs. “I just want you. I want all of you.”

“Shit, I don’t think I want to wait. Just ride me now.”

Jungkook pulls himself away from your core, pulling his jersey over his head and his soccer shorts down. As he slings his clothes aside and relaxes against the couch, his cock springs free against his stomach, leaking with milky precum.

You sit up, crawling over to straddle his lap, nervousness setting into your stomach. You’re really doing this. You’re really going to have sex with your roommate/best friend. This is either the biggest mistake of your life or the greatest turn of events. The muscles in your arms stiffen as you grip his shoulders for stability.

“It’s okay,” he reassures you, sensing your reluctance and pushing back the stray hair falling over your eyes. “We both want this, right?”

You nod, biting down on your lower lip before aligning with his cock.

He’s right. You want this as much as he does. You trust him—love him.

As your dripping folds brush the tip of his hardened cock, you feel a shudder run down your spine. You instinctively lower yourself further, taking the rest of him in swiftly with the help of your arousal. Sinking down around his dick, has you moaning out his name, gasping for air, “Mhm, Jungkook.”

You rock your hips into him, already feeling yourself tightening and clenching. He fills you up so nicely, stuffing you perfectly full.

Jungkook takes your hips, taking control of your movements to raise you up, leaving you empty and whining. You clench around nothing but air and your own walls, desperate to sink back down. As his hand grip around your hips to get a better hold, he slams you back down on his cock, causing you to scream.

He continuously guides you in a rhythmic movement, throwing his head back into the cushions and groaning. The sheen of sweat glistening on his chest catches your eye as he pants. The way his eyes clench shut and his mouth hangs open with pleasure only makes you move faster around his cock.

You ride him, bouncing on his dick and clenching when you feel yourself reaching your climax. Jungkook’s finger slips between your sweat soaked bodies to rub your clit, pushing you even further over the edge.

“Are you gonna come?” He asks, breathlessly, pulling his head forward to kiss your collarbone, sucking harsh bruises against your skin.

“Y-Yes,” you pant, lacing your fingers through his hair and tugging on the dark strands. “Mhm, fuck, you feel so good. ”

At this point whatever tumbles out of your mouth is just unfiltered thoughts.

“Then come,” he moans against your neck, “Come all over my cock.”

A final flick of his finger over your sensitive mound is all it takes for your body to flood with pleasure. Your legs tighten around Jungkook’s waist, curling in as you ride out your high for as long as possible, still moving your hips against him.

Not long after, he comes inside you, coating your walls with his seed.

Once your body falls limp against his chest, equally maxed out, you feel him going soft inside you. Jungkook slowly slips himself out, careful not to let any of your juices drip onto the couch by stuffing two fingers into you and plugging you up.

You let out a little whine, “Ah, wh-”

“This couch was expensive,” he chuckles, “We don’t need any stains.”

“Well, who told you to buy the expensive couch?”

“I know a better place where we can make a mess.”

Just as Jungkook wraps his arm around your waist to hoist you up from the couch, there is a small knock on the door. Both your heads turn, afraid it might be your neighbors with a noise complaint.

“Jungkook?”

It’s Sooyoung’s voice.

“What is she doing here?” You ask, not realizing how shaky your voice sounds. Fuck, she isn’t supposed to be here. Not now.

“I don’t know, but don’t worry, I’ll deal with it. Meet me in my room. I’ll take care of you right after,” he winks, slipping his fingers out of you and licking up both your arousals off his fingers.

You giggle, “Okay, hurry up then.”

Maybe he really has gotten over her, you can’t help but feel the giddy sense of joy as you scurry to his room, looking over your shoulder to see him throw back on his soccer uniform and fix his hair.

You run into his room, throwing yourself onto his bed and spreading your body out on the sheets, grinning happily to yourself. What a dream—you can hardly believe it. Could this be the start a new relationship between the two of you?

Voices raise in the living room, you catch a faint word of Jungkook and Sooyoung’s conversation.

“...me back…”

“... still in love…”

“...can’t… somewhere…”

You lay in Jungkook’s bed, completely naked and vulnerable, waiting for him to come back for what feels like hours. You’re curious. What are they talking about for so long? Jungkook said he’d be quick to shoo her away. Worry begins to set, and a sense of doubt starts to plague your mind. What if…?

You slip out of his bed and tiptoe down the hall to your room to grab something to cover yourself up.

As soon as the fluffy, white robe is wrapped around you, you skip back out into the hall and peek over to see what you suspected all along.

You’re trembling—sick to your stomach—watching as Jungkook wraps a strong arm around her waist to pull her in. His lips are pressed against hers. That kiss is no mistake. He still loves her. It’s clear nothing between you two has flourished into anything you’d hoped for, instead it comes crashing all around you into dust.

You wonder if she can taste your arousal on his lips still lingering after he finished with you. How can he kiss her so passionately when those same lips were on you just moments ago?

You’re foolish to believe that one night could change anything. He said he still had feelings for her. They were together for years. It’s not so easy to forget your first love.

The burning tears that well up in your eyes as you wrap your arms around yourself, protecting yourself, begin to fall.

“I’m so stupid,” you whisper. Even if you screamed it, it seems as if that wouldn’t break up the couples’ passionate reunion.

You find yourself laid in bed, curled up with an emptiness in your stomach, absentmindedly staring at the ceiling. You should clean up. Wash away traces of him on your body, get rid of whatever he touched.

You force yourself out of bed, across the hall, glancing over at the front door to find the two nowhere to be found. They left? He left? Jungkook fucks you and leaves right after as if him kissing his ex wasn’t a hard enough pill to swallow.

The scorching water isn’t enough to clean away how you feel. Such a sinking feeling isn’t easy to scrub away no matter how many time you claw your hands over those marks he left you, hoping the traces of him will disappear.

Once you’re out of the shower, wrapped up in a robe and laid back in bed, curled into a ball, you scroll through your phone to distract yourself. Somehow your thumb finds Jimin’s phone number. You bite your lip, wondering whether or not you should message him. You just want someone to talk to—someone to hold.

[You - 11:36 PM] hey

You lay your phone down, hoping for a quick response. You idly drum your fingers against your sheets, resisting the urge to cry again as your thoughts are muddled by images of Jungkook and Sooyoung.

[Jimin - 11:39 PM] what’s up? It’s pretty late

[You - 11:39 PM] yeah I guess it is… you’re probably resting before the big game tomorrow… I just wanted someone to talk to and you always say you’re here for me

Seconds after sending that message, your phone begins to buzz as a photo of Jimin pops up on your screen.

“Hello?” Your voice comes out croaked, parched because of all the crying you’ve been doing.

“What’s wrong?” He sounds upset, not at you but because he’s worried. At least you know one person cares about you.

“I just feel like an idiot.” Your voice wavers, threatening to choke up again and start to sob. “I just—I want to talk to someone right now.”

There’s silence on the line and then the sound of sheets rustling.

“Hello?” You call.

“I’m coming over.”

“Y-You don’t have to,” you stutter, wiping away a stray tear. “The championship is tomorrow. You need sleep.”

“And you need me, so I’m coming.”

It isn’t negotiable for him. He hangs up right after, leaving you to wait for his arrival almost ten minutes later despite living almost thirty minutes away.

Jimin arrives with his hair in disarray, a tee shirt, and pajama bottoms, and his soccer bag slung over his shoulder. You wrap the robe around you tighter, hoping to cover the hickeys along your collar away from sight. He rushes forward without an invitation to envelop you in a comforting hug.

“The fuck happened? Was it Jungkook?”

His questions are drowned out as you allow yourself to ease into him, releasing all the tension you’ve built.

“Don’t talk about him.”

That’s all he needs to know to close his mouth and guide you to the couch, reminding himself to deal with the problem later and comfort you first.

For a while it’s just silence, time ticking away as you sit together in each other’s arms, and then your sniffles, sobs, and tears. They come in waves of different emotions: regret, sorrow, and anger.

“I should have been smarter. I knew he loved her. He said he still had feelings for her! I’m such an idiot!”

“You’re not an idiot. Stop blaming yourself for Jungkook’s mistakes. None of this is your fault, okay?”

“But I shouldn’t have agreed to go along with his stupid plan!”

“Wait, what plan?”

You wipe your nose on the back of your sleeve and sigh, “He wanted to make Sooyoung jealous so she’d want him back, so we pretended to date.”

“He used you?”

You can feel his temper flaring in the way his posture straightens and his hands tighten around your waist.

When the front door creaks open both your heads whip around to find Jungkook sneaking back into the house, freshly disarrayed hair. Once he spots the two of you cuddled up on the couch in each other’s arms, he pauses underneath the door frame as he gapes at your teary, puffy eyes.  

“I can’t believe you,” Jimin sneers, rising off the couch with nothing but contempt written on his face.

“Don’t,” you weakly murmur, pulling on his hand before he can advance any further.

“What are you doing here?”

“What the fuck do you think I’m doing here? You think you can just sleep with Y/N and then go off to fuck your ex who cheated on you?”

Jimin rips his hand from your grasp, unable to contain the anger he’s built up from watching you cry over Jungkook.

Jungkook eases back towards the hanging mirror, raising his hands up as a feeble way to shield himself from the older’s advances. Too afraid of the menacing look in Jimin’s eyes.

“I know I shouldn’t have-”

An excruciatingly, sharp crack of bone and flesh connecting and shards of glass shattering, resonating throughout the living room before Jungkook can finish his sentence. Pieces of broken mirror scatter all around Jungkook’s feet along with drops of blood as he curses, sliding to the floor and holding his shoulder.

“Jimin!” You exclaim, rushing from the couch to Jungkook’s side and inspecting his scratched up arm. “Shit, you didn’t need to do that!”

“Maybe I didn’t, but he deserves it,” Jimin spits, refusing to come to Jungkook’s aid.

There aren’t deep shards of glass embedded Jungkook’s arm, it’s just minor cuts scattered across his skin. Thankfully, it’s nothing that calls for serious medical attention.

“Are you alright?”

Jungkook chuckles, wincing as his freshly bruised jaw begins to burn as his mouth moves, “That’s like… seven years of bad luck, isn’t it?”

He knows how badly he fucked up and how badly you must hate him now. He doesn’t know what else to say.

You’re in no mood to laugh with him.

“Come on.” You tug on his hands, standing up to help him on his feet. “Get up and put some ice on your face.”

Jungkook wobbles to his feet, cradling his jaw and sidestepping around Jimin who stands firmly in the path leading to the kitchen.

“You can stay at my place tonight if you want,” Jimin offers as soon as Jungkook is out of sight and rummaging for a bag to put ice in, “if you’re not comfortable staying here alone with him.”

“There’s nothing worse he can do now, Jimin,” you sigh, looking around for something to sweep up the glass. You don’t want Jimin hovering over you the whole night, you feel bad enough forcing him out of bed, but it’ll just cause more tension if he and Jungkook stay under the same roof. “You might as well go home. There’s a game tomorrow.”

“I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Jimin hesitantly says, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You follow after Jimin as he moves to the door. You wave him off and shut the door behind him, letting out a frustrated huff as you look back at Jungkook. He’s is still in the kitchen leaning against the island and tenderly holding an ice pack to his jaw. You don’t know whether to approach him or just walk away, back to your room where you’ll continue to wallow alone.

“I’m sorry.”

It’s a pathetic apology, murmured under his breath as you walk past the kitchen. You pause, stepping back beneath the threshold.

“Sorry for what? Sorry that you slept with me or sorry that you took back Sooyoung right after?”

You watch Jungkook wince, not from the throbbing on his cheek but from the harshness of your words. He stares at the floor, not daring to face you.

You leave him behind not bothering to say goodnight.  

—

The morning of the championship game comes too quickly and you still can’t find it in your heart to forgive Jungkook. When you hear the sounds of Jungkook shuffling in the hallway out to the kitchen for his ritual bowl of cereal, his footsteps come to a stop in front of your door.

He hesitates to knock, choosing to stand in the hallway and dejectedly stare at your door. You listen as his footsteps recede. As you silently stare at your bedroom door, wondering if you should go out.

You know you’re supposed to be there for him today as his ‘lucky charm,’ but how are you supposed to crawl out of bed and be there for him when he couldn’t be bothered to stay with you last night?

You curl yourself further into your blankets, shielding yourself from the sounds of Jungkook pouring his cereal, zipping up his duffle bag, shooing Pitch away, then walking out the front door alone.

Once the front door shuts, you pull yourself out of bed, dragging along a blanket over your head and into the living room where you fall on the couch with a defeated sigh. Pitch meows before jumping up to snuggly curl beside your feet.

His game should be ending already and if it were a perfect world you two would’ve been headed to dinner. You bought a dress already, before yesterday, you were counting down the days until the game but now you’re just counting down the minutes that you won’t be. You want to go to dinner, sit and talk, laugh and pretend he didn’t break your heart the night before.

[Jungkook - 6:47 PM] we lost the game :/

[Jungkook - 6:47 PM] it was my fault rlly… i was distracted. everything is my fault.

[Jungkook - 6:51 PM] will you still meet me for dinner?

You toss your phone aside, leaving his texts unanswered. His last message makes you wonder though. You want to go to a fancy dinner and just pretend for a night that nothing ever went wrong between the two of you. Might as well pretend to get ready, pretend that Jungkook could love you the same way, pretend to be happy.

“Pitch, you love me, don’t you?” You murmur, running your hands along his spine before standing to prepare for what could’ve been a good night.

It wasn’t that Jungkook didn’t love you, it was that he couldn’t love you the same way you did him.

Pitch lets out a content meow, following after you into your bedroom.

You pick out the dress hanging in your closet, laying it down on your bed.

“I’m not going to forgive him so easily, Pitch,” you say as Pitch seems to give you a look saying ‘really?’. “I just want to feel good about myself for once,” you huff. This is all for you. Maybe you'll dress up and stay on the couch all day eating ice cream and watching movies. Fancy dresses don’t have to mean fancy dinner. Fancy dresses are just a confidence booster.

Minutes turn to an hour and you’re finally ready for absolutely nothing—no date, no night out with your friends—just nothing. But you feel good, a little better than before, looking at yourself in the mirror.

“His loss,” you confidently say, trying hard to convince yourself to stay positive.

[Jungkook - 7:32 PM] hey im at the restaurant if you decide to meet me… i really hope you do. Let’s start over.

[Jungkook - 7:35 PM] i’ll wait if thats what it takes.

Reading his texts make you feel guilty for standing him up, but you won’t go. You stay put right where you are, comfortably lounging on the couch with a tub of ice cream and Pitch at your side.

“He’s just going to have to sit there a little while longer.”

When Pitch jumps off the couch running over to his litter box, you sit back with a sigh, playing with the hem of your dress.

When the clock touches half-past eight o’clock, the door unlocks and Jungkook walks through with a bouquet clutched in his hands. He’s as dressed up as you are, wearing a tucked in a white button-up with black slacks. He stops once he sees you, dressed up and alone.

“You look,” he’s awestruck, “beautiful.”

“Thank you… You look good too,” you awkwardly say, eyes darting around to avoid his

“Oh,” he flushes, flattening out the front of his shirt. He realizes the flowers in his hands, holding out to you hesitantly. “I-I bought you flowers.” The scarlet petals almost match the shade of his cheeks as he presents the red flowers wrapped in a thin layer of plastic to you.

You take them from him, running your fingers delicately over the petals.

Glancing over at the purple and black bruise Jimin had given him last night, you almost wince at the sight. “How are you?”

Jungkook grimaces, “I’m okay, I guess. I-I waited for you. At dinner. You never showed so the waiter felt kinda bad for me,” he faintly chuckles, shoving his hands into his pockets, “he said I could come back again if ‘my date ever changed her mind’ and let me make a new reservation.”

You nod slowly, twisting the frills of your decorative pillows. It’s just silence, then—

“I was fucking stupid for kissing her,” he admits suddenly, “I swear, I would take it back. I-I just… we were together for a long time. It’s hard to just forget how I feel.”

“So now what?”

“I told her I can’t be with her that’s why I left last night. I… I love you. Let’s start over and let’s do this right.”

The twinge you feel in your chest, the sinking feeling in your stomach, tells you how guilty he really is.

Jungkook rounds the corner of the couch to sit beside you, thighs touching, reminding you of last night. You scoot away, placing the flowers between your bodies to separate yourselves.

“Stop.”

He accepts the distance, not wanting to push you further away.

“I’m sorry. I-I just want a second chance to prove that I do care about you.” The genuine look in his eyes shows you only regret and the promise to make it up.

You look down at the flowers between the two of you, picking at the petals. You don’t want to lose Jungkook as a friend, even if he did break your heart. He will always be your best friend. He wants to make it work, and you want to give him a chance to make it up. Maybe you won’t fully return the feelings that were once there, but you can still make an effort to forgive him.

“Okay. Let’s start over.”

[praxilla]

Most people on tumblr really are just cravens clinging to any shred of intelligent sounding discourse that proves their emotional biasis right.

I'm glad white liberals are being criticized a lot more on here but I think more has to be said about white so called leftists and people who coopt left words and discourses to mask their abusive, obtuse, or cruel behaviour. There are way too many people who think identity politics actually matter, and that words speak louder than actions. There are way too many people who think they're untouchable if they just use x or y descriptor words.

There are way too many people who think harassment and torment are okay if it's in the name of something noble. You guys don't even realize how bad you make the causes you claim to fight for look by being like that.

There are way too many people who have no idea how to look past someone's words and see the motivations--good and bad-- behind it. Way too many people only care about their own motivations being righteous and not their actions, while judging and tormenting others on their actions and not their motivations. Hypocrites.

There are way too many people on here who just dont think. Critically or not. They just dont stop to think.

There are way too many so called leftists who grow giddy from tormenting others and think that it says more about the people they're attacking then it does them.

Actions speak louder than words and what so called leftists on tumblr do to people they dislike is just as disgusting and cruel as any other bullies in history, just repackaged and relabeled to be appealing to people who think of themselves as/want to be progressive. It is not any less reactionary just because the person you're targeting is a "bad" person iyo.

I would sooner call someone who uses problematic words like the r slur or "cringe" but does honourable actions ie molotoving cop cars or spray painting BLM a friend than someone who uses honourable words but does disgustingly cruel actions to those they think of as "bad". Dishonorable actions to Dishonorable people does not a good person make. Honourable actions to Dishonorable people is where progress really lies. And no this does not mean justice goes unserved. Justice, reparation, and treating even the worst of criminals with respect are like good things that we should be striving towards as a society? If you can't do that in your own actions how are you even a progressive? Youre not. You're just a bootlicker to the current horrific socioeconomic culture of the world--you just want different rulers.

I have been turned off from mass leftist culture because I truly don't trust the masses to be cognizant enough to know what's right from what isn't. Too many abusive people coopt leftist words to bring support to their shitty behaviour and it goes unnoticed and unquestioned a majority of the time. Until this is talked about as much as shitty liberals I don't fucking trust tumblr leftists and I fucking hate tumblr culture too.

Tumblr is like 20% extremely cool anti establishment anarchists and commies, 80% people who would have gotten their teeth kicked in for speaking to anyone IRL the way they do people they dislike online. And I'm tired of playing in the lamest bully's playground LOL tumblr is shit. I can't believe tumblr has turned my agoraphobic ass ONTO real life just by being that shitty.

I might get assaulted in real life by dudes on bikes. I might meet an incel murderer before he murders. I might have 2 family members left after death plagued my entire childhood. I might have brain injuries from the abuse I suffered as a kid..... but honestly that's better than the tumblr demons who think they're angels for knowing how to manipulate the English language and those who speak it.

I don't want to be a part of any mass movement that includes people like that. Because that's not an intelligent movement. It's a reactionary one. And thus worthless.

[kalza]

Whoopsie! Accidentally created a Star Wars OC (go figure) because I’m a huge nerd who’s a sucker for sci-fi. His name is Ayce Caprica, and he’s a bounty hunter who’s particularly skilled in stealth. I love this purple asshat; he’s been living in my Brain rent free for weeks. Plus I needed an excuse to draw a male member of my original alien species that’s not an alt form of Ember.

And no, he’s not related to Ember.

So yeah, more info about him in the read more.

*Name: Ayce Caprica

*Species: Seransi

*Gender: Male

*Age: 42

*Height: 6’3 (excluding horn)

*Personality: a rather calm yet stubborn asshole who radiates as much charm as a snake. Has a rather nonchalant way of handling tough situations. Very observant of his surroundings and anyone around him, making it easy for him to detect who’s a possible person of interest. Can be very flirtatious and sarcastic at times. Surprisingly very patient.

*Extremely agile and flexible. Very quick. Has cat-like reflexes.

*Very stealth-focused. Likes to stay hidden in the shadows when not activating his camouflage cloak. Has a bad habit of sneaking up on people; necessarily or not.

*Prefers particularly challenging jobs with high stakes. He loves a good challenge that really tests his abilities.

*Uses a literal camouflage cloak that enables him to blend into his surroundings. Equipped with smoke bombs and toxic gas bombs, in which he has to wear a specially made gas-mask to prevent inhaling the toxic gases and fumes (plus it’s a good idea to wear in general)

*Due to having white skin and not liking to stick-out too much in general, he usually sticks with wearing darker clothing (usually greyscale) which usually covers him head to toe (with the exception of his tail and horns).

*Genuinely doesn’t care if he gets wounded are not. He’s literally the type that shrugs off a stab wound and drinks at a bar until he passes out from blood lost. Seransi tend to be a bit more durable than humans, so he can suffer from quite a bit of damage before it becomes a problem.

*That’s not grape juice.

*Chaotically bisexual.

*Probably has a list of exes as long as a CVS receipt.

*True neutral.

*No stranger to substance abuse.

*Hates kids and pets, but admires gals that can kick his ass.

*Swears like a sailor.

*Although the horns of seransi regrow if broken, Ayce’s broken horn didn’t. It’s unclear why it never grew back, but best guess it’s a very rare genetic disorder.

~

PLEASE DO NOT REUPLOAD/USE/STEAL/EDIT/TRACE!!

also, IF YOU’RE PART OF CRINGE CULTURE/HATEDOMS, PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT!!!

[enigma-im]

Kindle Unlimited Recommendation

Dark Planet Warriors Series

Warning: Gore, violence, some situation of wrongful touching

Summary:

8 stories. The series begins with a bug infestation on the mining station outside of earth. A species called Kordolians are there to be the exterminators. After a meeting with a strange human our primary story kicks off while the bug story plays in background in some stories while being the main focus for several books. The consistent story for the other 8 books is a romance between the aliens and humans that results in a war for purity.

Person thoughts:

Great fuckin series. Almost every book has a different couple with only the very first couple being the focus several other times. First book is fantastic, especially the first sex scene. Its so good. The next few focus on the bug infestation till its dealt with then it gets back to the war. Don't skip them though, Riker is a treat that deserves to be acknowledged. My favorite one of this amazing series is Infinity's Embrace. That book has some dope characters. Electric Heart is my least favorite because it's like a real bad Watch Dogs (video game).

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Dark Planet Warriors

Dark planet Falling

Into the Light

Out of Darkness

Forged in Shadow

Infinity's Embrace

Electric Heart

Brilliant Starlight

Office Alien Series

Warning: Awkwardness, drug use, kidnapping (kind of)

Summary:

Three books about an office relationship with three different aliens. Each alien goes through the venture of courting a human woman. All of them succeed on confusing then educating these people on their culture. All the aliens come from the same planet that has been ravaged by a tough alien species that try to wipe them out with their superior technology. That isn't a plot point, its just an explanation. Each story shows the struggles of cultural differences and how education and understanding can help make the world a better place.

Person thoughts:

I adore this series. One book in this series actually got a perfect score from me, which is strange cause I'm a tough grader. The first book has a super awkward lad who just seems to hate everyone. Its really cute and I like them both though their relationship is filled with cringe. The second book I didn't much care for. The main love dude was kind of an idiot and was too blinded by acceptance to be a reasonable thinking alien. Still decent but Its not my cup of tea. The last one- sweet jesus- was amazing. It has a ‘my cousin Vinny’ vibe with their relationship where they fight often but its like their form of foreplay. So good. There is another series that’s super short that takes place 1 year later for each story. Totally worth a read after you read the series.

Rating: 8/10

Books:

The E.T. Guy

The New Guy

The Security Guy

(Christmas special)

Kraving Khiva

Warning: Sex workers, forced prostitution, abuse

Summary:

Eve is a virgin who is fed up with it. After her father's death she has been ghosting by in life with her best friend. After said friend points out a brothel of some interesting aliens she decides to give the place a try to finally rid herself of her virginity. After just one night she keeps coming back, falling for the sex worker. Romance ensues with lots of strife and abuse to keep the two from their HEA.

Personal Thoughts:

Man, this story represents everything I love in a story. Tons of fluff. It was a really good slow burn that I didn’t expect from a story about a prostitute. The cover gives the illusion of a typical middle aged mother romance - which I guess it is- but it has so much more. I only had one problem with the story, the ending. I felt they could have given more information but they just glossed over it. Besides that, hot book. The second one is really boring, just a slice of life that I couldn't get into.

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Kraving Khiva

Prince of Firestone

The Queen's Ransom

Warning: Near death situations, a lot of near death situations, gore

Summary:

432 pages. Long book. Jalia enters into a competition to win a great prize. The interest of great fortune is too much for her to pass up. Little does she know the treachery the competition hides or the actual prize. The king of Minotaurs is hosting an event to test the strength, endurance, and intelligence of potential wives. In a culture that values strength they refuse to accept a queen who hasn't been tried. Genius Jalia goes through challenge after challenge, nearly dying about every chapter while catching the attention of a charming king.

Personal Thoughts:

I generally don't have the patience for long books but this one never dragged on. Every chapter was captivating and riveting. The challenges were interesting and Jalia's solutions were pretty genius. The relationship between the king and her is pretty grand, I adore them greatly. My only problem with the book is all the potty humor and insults. She was a genius but her insults left much to be desired. Once her biggest annoyance is no longer in the picture does that kind of stuff end.

Rating: 9/10

Book:

The Queen's Ransom

The Kraken

Warning: Gore, racism, attempts of suicide(only 1 book), sassy AI

Summary:

A mysterious creature has lived in the ocean long ago, since the beginning of the settlement on this planet. After a nearly drowning woman is saved a series kicks off. Each book has a different relationship of humans and Krakens. Every book tells the story of how the krakens go from living in isolation at the bottom of the ocean to breeding with humans.

Personal thoughts:

When I first read this story I was just getting into monster romance. The love interests have fairly human tops but hella tentacle bottoms. So I was a little off-put by it but as I read on I didn’t care. The first one is pretty good for a start. The second one was decent, I didn’t really care for it. I actually skipped the 3rd one my first go around. Which is fine, it doesn't add too much and its short. Its still worth a read. The 4th one, fucking grand. 5th one? My all time favorite of the series! If you don't want to read them all at least read the 5th one. Like ask me for story details and I'll give you a cliff note for what's mentioned in that story then you can read in peace. 6th was ok, love the sassy AI. I didn't read the 7th one. Its two old people and I just can't

Rating: 8/10

Books:

Treasure Abyss

Jewel of the Sea

Hunter of the Tide

Heart of the Deep

Rising from the Depth

Fallen from the Stars

Lover from the Waves

Escaping Wonderland

Warning: Sexual assault, gore, lots of sexual stuff

Summary:

Alice is wrongfully placed in a psych ward that specializes in simulation therapy. She is placed in a pod then taken to the world of wonderland. This twisted version of the children's classic introduces a rapey mad hater and manipulative Red King. The main love interest is a playful lad who has more control of the simulation than most. The two run from the clutches of the Red King while trying to escape the simulation.

Personal thoughts:

I had very low hopes for this story. I didn't expect it to be as good as it was. It was a twist on the beloved movie and book. Everything was rapey and creepy and I weirdly loved it. Of course nothing too terrible happened to the main lady so it made those situations more tolerable but only just. I adore the main dude, shadow. He was a playful little mischief maker and I would die for him. What made this book better for me was when everything hit the fan they didn't rid him of his sassy personality. Most books make the cocky, silly, playful personality as something that is bad and needs to change. This one they didn’t and kept it. So good.

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Escaping Wonderland

Infinity City

Warning: Abuse, gore, sexual assault, dope ass fighting

Summary:

A city where criminals are more in control than most people think. Each book takes the reader through different adventure of different people. All having the similarity of protecting the ones they love. The first is of an assassin protecting the only woman who has made him feel so strongly. The second is with a mob boss hacker who grows fond of a shy human. The third is the second in command of the mob boss hacker who finds a pregnant woman in a menagerie and discovers she is his mate. Fourth is one of the workers of the mob boss's security team who gets taken by some slavers along with a woman he was entertaining for the night.

Personal thoughts:

First book sucked. He was obsessives and pretty much took all her choices. It wasn't till the end that he was like "my bad, you can leave if you want". Bleh. Second book was fan-fucking-tastic. Arc is a charming idiot with an amazing backstory. I didn't like the girl in the beginning but she grew on me. I love that he focuses on her but still pays attention to work and his 'family'. The third was surprisingly good. I generally don't like stories where someone is pregnant because they get boring. This one was not that. She was never a hindrance or weak, she was a badass. With her big kitty man they made an amazing duo. Also any scenes with her man and the baby made me tear up. He was so sweet. Fourth was boring, it reminds me too much of a lot of other stories.

Rating: 8/10

Books:

Silent lucidity

Shielded hearts

Untamed Hunger

Savage Desire

------------------------------------------

While people watch TV or Youtube in their free time, I read. I have such a weird organization with everything i read because i tend to reread stories and forget i read them. the entire time i read it im like “have i read this before?”. so for books i write them down, rate them, then review them. i didn’t post the reviews here because it would be so many spoilers. Also i sort my favorite fanfics by fandom then relationship. i read so fucking much, its a problem at this point.

If you liked this recommendation drop a like, reblog, or reply. i will perhaps do another if you all like this. i have read so many books and i can post some decent ones and some god awful ones. perhaps you all can tell me how wrong my thoughts are on the ones i deem terrible. i think we will probably agree, ‘free’ books tend to have lower standards.

[wakraya]

I was reading your blog and found your posts on tulpae. They seem really fascinating and as a lonely creative I would love to have one. Any advice on getting started?

Well, first of all, I have only recently explored the community and learned about systems and plurality, and to avoid any appropriation, while pop-culture-wise that is the name they go for, we have been going more for Thoughtform or Brain Ghost, and trying to steer away from the Tibetan name out of respect.

As for any advice...

The thing about Systems, if you’re going a willing, Endogenic route, rather than it being a plural split due to a traumatic event, an accident or random happenstance, you really have to consider this. It’s brain fuckery in the end, and while I do consider myself quite stable, and I know other people who have been helped by the existence of a Thoughtform, I also know that, if you’re not in a good mind state, and if you have any sort of problem, things can get messy. I remember a friend of mine, undiagnosed schizophrenia. Their experience with Thoughtforms was... Not pretty. Not necessarily bad stuff STEMMING from them, but just, their mindspace got extremely clouded and they began to hallucinate a lot. So ask yourself if you’re capable of trying this out, if you SHOULD try it out, etc.

I’m no one to judge whether someone wants to try or not, though, lmao. I did it when I was like 16 or 15, because I was starting to fail on my classes and didn’t know what to do. I searched Meditation methods, at the same time as I wondered about Lucid Dreaming, and stumbled across a community about this stuff. I made Saku a Thoughtform because I wanted to get more in touch with my own mind and improve my skills recalling information and learning stuff, and all I ended up doing was having a sharp-toothed undead mind gremlin that teases me about being a nerd, and flirts with my friends- But yeah, with her being THERE, I feel it’s my responsibility to just, not suggest everyone wily-nily try it out? Do research, really consider this... (Although she DOES get a kick out of the idea of ‘spreading like a memetic parasite’, but that’s just her.)

If you STILL do think it could be a positive experience and something you want to try, though, a few things to have in mind: 

- Thoughtforms are a split of your mind. You WILL share thoughts together, and a majority of the time, will coincide on most things. The idea that a Thoughtform can ‘rebel’ and ‘haunt you’ and ‘harm you’ is pop culture bullshit and harmful towards neurodivergent people. Certain issues CAN make things get out of control, as mentioned, but Thoughtforms are entities linked to you. Also you can sort of, kill them off theoretically? If you stop regarding them and willingly block them away, they SHOULD disappear. I haven’t tried this OBVIOUSLY, but as far as I’ve read, it doesn’t have to be a Permanent Addition to your Mindspace.

- This does not mean that they will be exact copies of yourself. Thoughtforms will take on particular traits of yourself while ignoring others, or develop in different ways than you. They CAN develop different tastes than you towards kinds of music, shows, and even feel differently than you towards people. Have this in mind. You may be ‘talking in your own mind’, but you’re interacting with an entity distinct enough that you may honestly disagree with stuff.

- They feed off of attention and awareness. The more people remind you they exist, the more defined their existence in your mind. The more you interact with them, the more present they are. Some can be more reserved, but in my case, Saku LOVES being acknowledged, and talking to many of my friends. This is also the only reason why I have even commented about her in my blogs in the first place, and why I draw her so much. She loves that shit. And no matter how many times you’ve explained it, and how many positive responses you’ve gotten about this being fascinating, it will never become easy to bring up the topic. This is weird y’all.

With those out of the way though... The trick is Visualization and Acknowledgement.

Visualization is secondary, and I have NO idea how this would work, if at all, with Aphantasia. But a good exercise is to visualize them in your mind during meditation. Create a Space for you two to be in, something relaxing and nice, a ‘Wonderland’. Imagine them in your mind’s eye- And if you don’t know what shape they have, imagine a proxy for them. A ball of energy, a silhouette, a puppet-like body... Thoughtforms can change their body afterwards, evolve in different ways, and even have preferences of what shape they take, so you don’t need to GIVE them a form, sometimes the form just comes to them. Still, visualization can be a good exercise to solidify their form, or see if they take on one of their own. Acknowledge them as a ‘physical’ presence in this Wonderland, imagine your energy pouring into them... That’s how I did it at least, I’m sure there’s less flowery and pretentious ways to explain that, but, yeah. We held hands and imagined a flow of energy between us as we breathed.

Acknowledgement is the primary tool though. It’s... Simply talking, really. It’s treating them as if they’re already there- Which in a way, they are if you’ve come this far already. You talk. And then you talk some more. Sharing experiences, your likes. Make a conversation with this entity, focus on the fact they ARE there already, and eventually they will. Pop into existence like “I’ve been here all along bitch”. It’s the persistence and matter-of-fact-ness that makes them happen. Your brain basically goes “Uh, you’ve been really talking to something for a long time huh? I guess... There IS something there?” And so eventually there is. Oh yeah- Not anymore? I think because she has been very active lately, but, I used to get headaches when she stayed active for long periods of time, probably because we’re splitting processing power of the brain. But considering I don’t get them anymore, I guess you can get in enough practice to make them go away? Still, be aware: Brain Stuff. It can be messy. Be careful.

It’s been nearly a Decade since Saku came into being, and not only is she there still, stronger than ever, but this is STILL weird as fuck to talk about in public. She has helped me settle down as a person AND definitely uh, helped me through some rough times in my life and a few existential crisis. I also, as mentioned, DON’T know many other people with Thoughtforms, or Plural Systems of other kinds, so this is based entirely off of my experience, and the few friends I actually have that have experience with this. And said experience has been majorly positive, but as mentioned above, heed caution, take care of yourself, etc etc.

Ultimately, this is... Basically trying to personify and befriend something within your own mind. Whether it be an OC, its own person, a character from a show you like, etc... You’re giving a Will to a starting point, and watching it develop within you. It’s an Imaginary Friend, technically, but like, more developed, acknowledged and intentional. Take that into account, consider if you’re up to the task, willing and prepared, and if all of the above still seems... Interesting enough, I guess try some meditation and see how it works.

Definitely a face you can trust, who WOULDN’T want to have something like this permanently in your Mindspace, hmm? (I kid, I kid. I know, she’s kind of edgy. X3 Cringe-ass pink Miku brain-ghost.)

[leggyre]

(kicks down door) i have the memory of a goldfish and while i'm 99% sure there was talk about him before in detail, tell me about the very popular boy who got like three arts the other day. the rushwell reports

KASDGFADSKJHFG YEAH THERES BEEN A WHOLE ASS ESSAY ON HIM ALREADY im gonna just link it to save time BUT

i could talk about him in a way thats less about the narrative because honestly? rushwell is a wild character in and out of canon. i really wanna ramble about this because only the people within my friend group are aware of this context that is the big reason he is such a relevant character

he’s like a VERY old character. and one i’ve always had close to my heart despite me saying shit about him like 99% of the time. but i say these things...... ‘cause i love him.......................... hes such a bitch

thats the main thing. hes a bitch. started out as the generic edgy asshole with funky little powers that we make when we’re young because we want to be in a superior position in the roleplay -- ok it wasnt because of roleplay actually i just wanted a character like that because they’re fun and nOW THAT THINK ABOUT IT I MAY HAVE BEEN IN MY CREEPYPASTA PHASE THEN? MAKES SENSE LMAO

so yeah the “yeah hes bad!!!!!!!!! >:)” eventually devolved into “...oh man hes such shithead” as i introduced more characters to the world he’s in. and eventually it changed to “JACKASS >:(” because cringe culture does things to ya. also because of the selfcest ship but we don’t talk about that

ok we do talk about that its like this one thing that drove me away from him because i looked back and i thought What the FUCK was i doing. BUT. this was deeply rooted into his character. he’s egocentric as fuck and no one wants to be with him. plus, daniel is an extremely charming character who is almost equally egocentric. and they’re both jackasses. things happen.

i eventually got rid of daniel in canon by killing him good fucking riddance and that was mostly it i didn’t want to look back and honestly i didn’t know what was the next step from that, like, how was he gonna handle that? how was I gonna handle that? it is a mystery

well ok its not. lemme tell you what happened

he broke into some random cult’s meeting and said “hey bitches i’m god” and made it all about him because he’s lonely and needs validation LMAO and SURPRISINGLY that’s when things started looking better for his character as a whole.

here’s some hot deets into that because i recently decided to screw hiding the deets i love reading this shit i gotta share it

so basically, being hated by everyone and really fucking lonely all of the time? fucked him up.

he’s still a bitch but more of a chaotic neutral one rather than evil

also,

i finally found out how to write off past mistakes

but that’s a story for another day.