#the context is that i hated that she was a teenager in that exact moment

[asettledsky]

You say you hate octavia for being a teenager in that moment, but i for one thought she had a pretty understandable reason to be mad at him. From her perspective stolas lied to her when he said that he would never leave her, even though we know that him saving blitz during mastermind was a case of life and death, so he didn’t have a choice. But octavia doesn’t know that and only sees her dad leaving her for an imp.

This is not meant to be seen as disrespectful, just trying to explain the scene as best as possible. Octavia has a good reason for feeling what she feels, but it’s important to know that she doesn’t know everything, but I believe she will in time.

Yes, that is kind of my point.

Octavia absolutely has valid feelings about all this.

But as you said, she doesn't have all the information. She is refusing to listen or have any kind of conversation because she is wrapped up in her own feelings about the situation. Which might be reasonable if it had just happened, but it's been more than a month and she should have had some time to process and consider things by now.

And given what she said I think she might have, but only in a place from her own feelings and how things have affected her.

She's choosing to believe, because she is hurt and depressed, that her father is lying and doesn't love her, instead of listening to his side or consider that there might be some desperate circumstance that drove his decision to do what he did.

That is a very teenager thing to do.

And that's okay!

But it made me cry and made Stolas cry and I hate it.

I don't hate her, to be clear, I just really hope in season three she reaches a maturity level where she realizes her father was abused and lonely and was just trying his best with what resources he had. And that they can have that talk.

At some point in your life you gotta realize your parents are flawed people who can have poor decision making skills or find themselves in situations with no good outcome. But because Octavia is a teenager she's not there.

Which is, again, completely okay and reasonable. Because she's a teenager. But aaaaauiuuugggh!!! Teenagers!

Hope that clears things up.

[sapphorror]

Short Moderate Length List of Small(ish) Things I Appreciate About The Wettening

Dib being conspicuously absent from the opening pan of the classroom, only to cartoon-teleport into existence at Zim’s desk the second Zim starts expressing mild apprehension at the sight of unfamiliar weather. This kid spends his time just hanging around staring at Zim, waiting for him to show the slightest sign of discomfort, confusion, or unease in order to immediately taunt him about it—and the surrounding chaos, if anything, is just an opportunity to come watch even more closely. We all already knew this, but it still kills me to see it in action.

Also, he’s animated popping up from below, and like… were we meant to interpret this as him just chilling underneath Zim’s desk? No, absolutely not—but is it funny (and, to add to the hilarity, miraculously somehow not completely unbelievable within the context of the show) to imagine that he was? Yes. Yes it is.

Zim confidently walking out into a downpour he has already confirmed to be acidic just because Dib implicitly dared him to—no one’s looking, Dib hasn’t even said anything or made a claim against his humanity, Zim just can’t stand to give Dib the satisfaction of seeing him vulnerable or afraid of something (which backfires pretty spectacularly, since I’m pretty sure ‘writhing on the ground shrieking in indescribable agony’ is a significantly worse look in terms of appearing vulnerable, but all’s well that ends in Victory For Zim, I guess).

Also Zim's little baffled gesture right beforehand like he's silently asking Dib to confirm he's not hallucinating the rain dance (he does not receive an answer)

Gaz presumably seeing Zim sneaking up behind her brother, saying nothing and making no reaction that’ll tip Dib off… only to immediately be made to regret her choices when she gets caught in another splash. Shows her for trusting Zim to be at least a little bit cool about tormenting Dib (honestly, we see her exact fitting justice on Dib at the end of the episode, but I cannot imagine she wasn't still planning to do something equally petty to Zim).

The faucet drip scene and the underlying awareness that this is just what Zim and Dib do to each other during class. Every day. It is, in fact, probably one of the least disruptive forms their constant warfare takes on a routine basis. Suddenly I understand a little bit of why their entire class hates them.

Also Dib’s happy face while he's terrorizing Zim into a shell-shocked stupor is absurdly cute and heartwarming. If I cropped that picture no one would ever guess what he's smiling about. This kid? A sadist? Impossible.

“I don’t even feel good about winning this one,” and it's said with his hands clasped together, practically vibrating with glee, his expression vaguely reminiscent of a teenager in the throes of hormonal infatuation (the hypothetical object in this case not so much being Zim himself as a personified abstraction of Zim’s suffering). If someone hit him with the Return of Keef happy goo in this exact moment, I am completely certain it would kill him. His statement is only true insofar that a more accurate term for his current state of being would probably be euphoric.  I take back everything I’ve ever said about Zim being unreasonable in this episode—he was merciful.

Also this face the moment Zim gets up and starts threatening him. Zim still isn't even all that intimidating at the moment, but Dib knows he just fucked up. Maybe he's getting flashbacks to Dark Harvest.

Dib’s ridiculous water balloon device. Seriously. I feel like it gets (reasonably) overshadowed by the sheer absurdity of Zim’s entire operation, but it really is so amazingly stupid and pointless in a way that is… not dissimilar to the ultimate Irken water balloon. Not only is it really not necessary for the task it's meant to accomplish, it's actively detrimental in that it slows Dib down, blatantly telegraphs his attacks, and reduces accuracy by a significant degree. The only actual benefits I can think of would be the exponential increase in force and range and the instant accessibility of a water supply—the former of which is totally unnecessary in this scenario and the latter being possible to accomplish with a much simpler device (or even just… a water tank). To summarize, it is an incredibly impressive feat of both skill and creativity in design that is also completely and utterly useless! Which is just the perfect demonstration of what I mean when I say Dib really does share nearly all of Zim’s flaws, just to a less obviously ridiculous degree—he comes off just calm and clever enough to pass as moderately reasonable�� at a glance, and in some ways, that makes him more of a potential flight risk than Zim. At least that's a lunatic you see coming. 

Irkens are collapsible, apparently

[kahluah]

Okay, let's pretend for a moment that everything in Ruby Gillman: Teenage Kraken is exactly the same, but instead of krakens and mermaids, there are just normal people of two different races. Do you realize how iffy the statement "well, it doesn't MATTER if one race is pure evil and the movie comes off as incredibly eugenics-y, it's just set dressing and not the primary focus!" sounds in that context?

And plus, it's a pretty well-established rule in writing that if you're going to introduce worldbuilding into your story, you're going to be expected to elaborate on it. If the film was just trying to explore a young girl's adolescence and relationships with the adult women in her life, why even bother throwing in all that stuff about mermaids, krakens, and the war that broke out between them?

Ok but here is the thing, they aren't just regular people of two different races. I understand why it's the first thing people's brains are jumping to since we've had many movies recently who explore race through a lense like this, but that doesn't mean that is what this movie was doing. If you break it down to basics, we had a conflict between two differing entities. So how about, as another pretend moment, we view them to be regular people of two different political identities. Political parties usually have some sort of symbol, so it's not that far of a stretch that a movie could have their characters be representing that. And I'm saying this because people have no difficulties writing some political parties off as pure evil; I think we all agree that nobody should side with Nazis and that they should be wiped out. Tories and Republicans are also very much hated, especially on this site. I think most people can find those views understandable for writing someone off as evil; we do it all the time and we fully believe it's correct!

So you could also totally view the movie as a commentary on two different monarchy factions, one where the Queen did not want to expand her kingdom to the land outside her borders and pretty much let her subjects live their own lives, all she wanted was to wipe out the other potential Queen and her supporters. Said other Queen wanted to invade the land outside the borders to expand the kingdom and wished to rule over the people with an iron fist. While I'm not for monarchies in any way, I know I would prefer the first one over the second if I had to choose between the two.

You are the one conflating it with race when it doesn't have to be. I get it's easy to jump to, but that does not mean it's the intent. There are multiple ways it could be viewed. But all of it would just be conjecture because that's not what the movie presented itself to be about and we don't have enough info on the world to make any solid say about anything.

I can understand a disappointment in there not being more world building, it seems like a cool world to explore, but the reason the movie didn't was because it was not necessary for the story they wanted to tell. I'm sure everyone would have loved more info on the war and whatever is going on in the ocean in this world, but all that was not needed for this movie and so it wasn't put in. Wanting the movie to go into unnecessary detail of background info that isn't needed for the story is just entitlement. The war served it's purpose of being something that gave Ruby a goal and objective that led into the "twist" and climax of the movie. It was a vehicle to move the story along and that was all. They don't need a deeper reason to add krakens, mermaids, and a war other than "they sound cool" and "more movies aimed at younger girls should totally end in a giant Kaiju battle". It's frustrating, but sometimes that's just the way it is.

I also find it funny that people are soooooooo latched on to the "Krakens were trying to genocide the mermaids!!!" when Nerissa was trying to do the exact same thing to the Krakens. Pot, meet Kettle. So sure, let's say it was a race and eugenics thing, but at the very least don't be hypocritical by saying the mermaids were any better.

[ms-starflower]

Maribat Rare Pairs — Day 1 Candy (Substitution)

@maribat-october-rarepairs

Second prompt for the day! This one is for the Maribat Rare Pairs, and it’s a Roynette (because there aren't enough of them, and Lian is a cute kid, okay?)

For this one I have context! So: Mari and Roy totally know each other already, but it’s under their hero identities. Roy totally crush on Ladybug (but who doesn’t, tho? you can’t hate her, she is a cutie) and that’s how Lian knows about her. Because, fundamentally, Ladybug is a French heroine and, let’s be honest, American kids won’t care about foreign heroes when they have so much at home already.

I'm sorry it’s so short, tho, but I didn't have any ideas for more.

Anyway, let’s start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Marinette’s defence, she really hadn’t anticipated how many kids actually did the trick-or-treat thing here, and it was her first American Halloween. She hadn’t wanted to disappoint children, she didn’t do it on purpose, she had brought candy.

Just, not enough to last her the night. Or, really, an hour.

She was new to Star City, most of her things were still in boxes, and didn’t have friends here that could have told her how much exactly she would need. Worst, she would have run out of candy in half an hour if one of her designers hadn’t talked about it, and how much she brought each years, this morning.

But, really, it wasn't her fault, American were crazy about Halloween!

Back when she still lived in Paris, she would get four, maybe five groups of children knocking at her door. And those were the most busy years! She hadn’t anticipated for children to be at her door asking for candy every five minutes.

And it broke her heart every time she had to tell she didn’t have any left. She gave homemade cookies, made in a rush this afternoon, to the first few ones, but even those had run out.

Now, the children were starting to get more and more spaced out, and Marinette had finally started to let herself relax slightly. Still, spread out didn’t mean inexistant, and she winced when she heard a soft but excited knock at her door. Soft and excited meant that the child was young, and they were the worst to disappoint.

“Hey, I’m sorry but I don’t have any candy left,” she started, only to blink when she saw the little girl on her front step. “Oh mon dieu, you are so cute!”

“Thank you miss!” The little, dressed head to toes in a Ladybug costume, told her with a smile. “I’m dressed as—”

“Ladybug! I know,” she told her with a smile, crouching to be on eye level with her.

“You know her?! The girl in school said that nobody knew her!” The girl told her with widened eyes, looking at her with something like awe in her gaze. Marinette only laughed.

“Well, you see, I’m new in the city, but I grew up in Paris. I actually talked to her a couple of times, you know?”

“You did? How is she really? I think she is awesome!”

“She is cool, I guess. But I think you’re cooler,” Marinette said with a smile.

“No way, she is a superhero! Even dad thinks she is awesome!” The girl exclaimed, making the man with her, her dad, laugh.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Marinette started, standing up. “I didn’t mean to ignore you! I’m really sorry, that was so rude of me!”

“It’s fine, Lian is pretty cute in her costume,” he told her with a dazzling smile, ruffling his daughter’s hair, despite them being in pigtails. “I’m Roy, by the way.”

“Marinette,” she smiled, finally taking him in. And, oh boy, was he a cute one too. “Are you Lian’s Chat Noir?”

Roy was dressed in a black t-shirt, a black leather jacket, and black jeans. The final touch was the cute little cat ears headband on top of his head. He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, a cute little blush dusting his cheeks.

“Um, yeah, we couldn’t have a Ladybug without her Chat Noir, right?”

“Yeah,” she said softly, getting lost just a little bit in his eyes. Before suddenly remembering that she didn’t have any candy left. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, but I don’t have any candy left! But…” She added when she got an idea. “If you can wait just a minute, I have something I can give you!”

She turned around before either could say anything, walking toward her living room where she knew the box she was looking for was. It took her a couple of minutes to localize, but she finally got back to the door holding two jewelry boxes, a red one and a black one.

“Here, for the best Ladybug I saw tonight,” she told Lian, giving her the boxes. The girl took them and opened the red one first.

“It’s Ladybug’s earrings!” Lian exclaimed, eyes wide, showing them to her father.

“And Chat Noir’s ring. Not the real ones, of course, but I used to sell them back in Paris and I have some left so… It’s not candy, but I hope it's okay.”

“Thank you! It’s awesome!” The girl squealed before hugging Marinette’s legs. Her father looked down at her with a fond smile.

“Thanks, you didn’t have to,” he told her slowly, looking at her with a smile.

“It’s, um, it’s okay, I wanted to. She makes a fantastic Ladybug,” she said, hoping that her blush wasn’t overly noticeable. Roy laughed softly, and Marinette’s heart decided that it was the perfect moment to dysfunction.

“Well, Lian, it’s time to go. Tell bye to Marinette,” Roy said, after a second and an eternity spent staring at each other.

“Bye Marinette! Can we come back to see you soon?” She asked with an innocent smile, and Marinette would have brought it if it wasn’t the exact same overly innocent smile Adrien often gives her after he messes up.

“Yeah,” she choked out, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Of course you can! Bye Lian! Bye Roy!”

And then, because she hadn’t messed up enough in her conversation with a pretty boy, she slammed the door in their face.

.

Later, when she got ready to sleep, her interaction with Roy and Lian playing again in her mind, Marinette couldn’t bring herself to regret not buying enough candy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I said it in my previous post, but if you didn’t read it: Marinette experience with French Halloween is my personal experience as a French kid that grew up in the region around Paris. The year I had the most kid knock at our door was, like, ten years ago??? And it was like, a group of teenagers not even in costume and my neighbor's kids.

I don’t say it’s the same everywhere and for everyone in France, I’m just saying I would totally forget to buy candy if I ever move to America.

[wowsoboring]

Deconstructing baseless Harry Potter arguments #1: Harmony Edition

There’s a very helpful account on instagram (this instagram page merely gathers toxic harmony shippers, they don’t ship Harmione or hate all Harmione shippers, please don’t send them hate, show them love and support) where you can essentially find stupid fucking bashers who make baseless arguments. I’m all for Harmione shippers, as long as they don’t denounce Romione, bash Ron and just peacefully co-exist. To my pleasure, such people are out there: they just dont seem to be seen as often as the ones that are not nice. Maybe all I see is the mean people and the majority is nice, but in this post, I am attacking those who make baseless claims and bash Ron/Romione/Hinny/Ginny. I don’t myself hate all Harmione shippers. On top of that, as a Romione/Ron fan, i do acknowledge Ron’s character flaws along with Hermione’s and I hold them on the same pedestal.

This is copied directly from my own instagram page, granger.weasley_ on ig.

Anyways let's get deconstructing

1)

rebuttal:

Yeah okay mf; maybe don’t compare real-life relationships with fucking fictional ones. Your relationship going wrong has nothing to do with Ron/Hermione. It has everything to do with you and your ex: the *real life* people involved in it.

2)

rebuttal:

The weird subreddits and discord servers also seem to have a lot of die-hard Harmione “non-canon” shippers. They bash Ron and Romione (along with Ginny and Hinny) with a burning passion without any objective sense of remorse. They ignore all the merits of Ron’s character and bash him to push their agenda. They can’t even do so much as fucking acknowledge any of Hermione’s character flaws but still somehow manage to fixate on that one time when 11 year old Ron just shit-talked one line while Hermione had just publicly humiliated him in front of the Charms class and practically shouted at him for doing the spell wrong just before. I personally don’t because Hermione was 11 too and wasn’t that good at social cues that early on, which is more than okay. Neither am I.

Only a few people in the Romione fandom bash Hermione. And it’s not like Harmione shippers (most, not all!) don’t bash Ron and Ginny remorselessly, right? The fucking hypocrisy.

If someone considers Ron as the best member of the trio, it is their own opinion and not a fact. I do that. If you consider Harry and Hermione as the best member of the trio or in the whole wizarding world, most people don’t give a flying fuck and probably won’t argue with you because it is simply an opinion. That will only happen when you pass that off as a fact.

Statistically speaking, most (not FUCKING all) Harmione moments are in the movies. The weird dance scene especially. The passionate kiss that happens in Ron’s vision, shit like that. Ron is pushed to the sidelines in the last set of movies while Harry and Hermione show each other endless love and support. “I’ll go with you”. The books on the other hand, describe Harry and Hermione as siblings multiple times, with very little Harmione references.

3)

rebuttal:

So you don't want us to fixate on the large majority of Harmione shippers who do the exact same thing, just kissing Hermione's and Harry's ass and hating on Ron. However you will fixate on people who are most likely not EVEN bashing or hating but pointing out a few character flaws in Hermione in a fair and unbiased way. I would know, I'm a huge fan of Hermione as an individual character (in the books). The only criticism I've seen of Hermione to this day has not been bashing. In the comment section of my own fics (shameless plug) I've seen some Hermione bashing. On an ao3 comment section. And I've seen so damn fucking many people bashing Ron, Ginny, the Weasleys etc. and garner tens and thousands of upvotes on quora.

What does Ron even need excusing for? The running away incident and Krum. What does Hermione need excusing for? Canaries, contributing to Ron's insecurities by making him jealous through Cormac and Krum even though she didn't even like them (especially not Cormac, she fucking hated him). Ron wore a locket that literally highlighted his fatal flaw (insecurity) in an echo chamber. Harry kept getting annoyed when Ron wanted to check in on his family. Harry asked Ron to leave; Ron didn't say that shit in the books about Harry's parents being dead: that was plain shock value.

And sorry for repeating myself but I have seen quite a few Harmione shippers bash Ron and Ginny and excuse every single thing Harry and Hermione have done.

4)

37 upvotes on this weird comment that makes no sense? Echo chamber alert! You know what us Romione/Ron fans all have in common? We have never experienced such an echo chamber. I made a pro Ron/Romione post on reddit and got a considerable amount of people who bashed Ron and Romione in the comments.

The amount of Hermione haters is very few compared to Ron bashers. Nobody hates Hermione for being independent, determined, etc. We dislike perfect movie Hermione who’s an unrealistic image of females and seems like some sort of agenda than a real woman. Most Romione shippers/Ron fans and book fans in general (except for you apparently) dislike movie Hermione and still are fans of realistic book Hermione. Most, not all. In general, we do not claim anyone who does the exact same thing to Harry and Hermione that these sorts of Harmione shippers do to Ron, Romione, Hinny and Ginny. I say this on the behalf of all Romione shippers and Ron fans.

Ron's not a bitchy lay-about drama causing loser. That's Steve Kloves's movie Ron. In the books Ron is realistic and simplistic and apologizes whenever he causes problems. He acts up substantially twice in a span of 7 years where he is also a hormone-fuelled teenager.

This is so contradictory and juxtaposed to the point of near delusion. First you talk about how Romione shippers bash Hermione and then you bash Ron as a Harmione shipper. Mate, fighting fire with fire will get you called a hypocrite. Fix yourself.

5)

So the movies are fine when they work according to your agenda? And yes how dare he add such a (fake) chemistry fuelled moment between Harry and Hermione while defeating the entire purpose and groundwork for Romione, the sadness caused by Ron leaving and so many more things? Those Harmione moments you mention seem friendship -esque more than anything else.

Steve Kloves's moments ruined many things while just paying fan service to the Harmione fans he'd birthed through years in the course of 6 movies where he showed Ron as a, how you so eloquently describe it, lay - about drama causing bitchy loser, Harry as one dimensional and Hermione as a zero - dimensional Mary Sue who might as well be the main titular character. Obviously Harmione fans such as yourself don't see the problem with it as it fits your narrative

6)

We do care about Harry and Hermione at large. Most Romione shippers rightfully bash Draco, Pansy, etc. not particularly Harry and Hermione, that's quite rare. Harry and Hermione can get along without Ron as friends. Ron and Harry can also get along without. Hermione as friend. So can Hermione and Ron without Harry as friends or more. I don't understand your point and how what you said is any different than Romione or Ronarry’s friendship.

7)

Constant arguing is not what they do. They bicker, they apologize, and sometimes they just do it for the heck of it. They are argumentative teenager. Opposites attract doesn't work in the sense of fire and ice, it works in the case of Brownie and ice-cream. Ron is passionate, laid back and insecure. Hermione's passionate, a workaholic and not as insecure. Ron can help her get calm and composed and get her to give herself a break. Hermione can motivate Ron and re - enforce his confidence.

It wouldn't be step incest. Harry and Ginny do not regard each other as siblings. They do not look similar whatsoever. And a Harmione shipper also bashes Hinny and Ginny along with Ron and Romione? Checks out

" that fucked up Harmony" hahaha. What?

8)

Are you literally going to date someone on the basis of what Harry Potter ships they prefer? That is so shallow end depraved. Your Harry Potter ship preferences should not be the groundwork for your dating life. Please understand that. Harry Potter is a fictional world which is not real. Hogwarts doesn't exist. Magic doesn't exist. I sound like a Dursley but that's what it is: a fictional realm with fictional character. I would personally not give a fuck if my best friend or significant other was a Harmione shipper. In the case of them being a Ron basher, I would ignore it as if it was just a minor inconvenience and something we wouldn't be discussing and that's how it should be with you. Fuck BuzzFeed, your opinion on what Harry Potter ship / character is your favorite says squat about your personality and relationship with others in a romantic or platonic context. But who cares? Live your life however you want. I'll be stoic.

9)

It's not opposites attract rubbish or high school opposites attract. Ron and Hermione aren't polar opposites like I said, they are a bit different but similar too in many ways. They have a lot more in common than Harry and Hermione. Ron and Harry have the most in common. Both Ron and Hermione are passionate, loving, argumentative, caring, etc. Your argument lacks substance. It's biased trash. And what does “obhwf " mean?

---------------------------------

at the end of the day, i’m just an annoyed teenager. I try my best to be open-minded to people but only as long as they are too. I tried to use my brain more than my feelings for this post. 

[saby-chan]

Fire Lord Ozai: A blood thirsty monster or the less fortunate “Zuko” of his generation?

Hello again and thank you as always for clicking and allotting some of your time to read my humble post! Since I’ve happened to notice quite an increase in posts lately regarding the controversial character and nature of the former Fire Lord, the now imprisoned fallen prince Ozai, and I’ve personally promised in my previous post that I will share my own analysis on him if people asked me to do so (which actually happened), I am here to deliver my own take on this very intriguing man’s character, while also building a potential past for him based on stuff gathered from the show’s cannon.

I would like to start this essay with what I find to be my favorite quote ever: ”Monster’s aren’t born, they are created.” ~ Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto) What I like about this quote soo much and find very inspirational is the truth it holds within its short, yet powerful message. We are often fast to judge a “book by the cover”, to reduce others to what we assume of them by their appearance or latest actions that we’ve seen them do, but never actually take a moment and wonder where they come from, if this person we soo harshly look down upon really has been this way since their very beginning?

I’ve come across many comments on social media related to ATLA, especially on YouTube videos on which people would throw with harsh comments such as “Aang being a coward for choosing to spare the villain just because they saw a dumb baby pic of them” or “Ozai is the essence of evil and even as a baby he’d been a monster”. I can’t help but wonder who hurt these people to make them be so cruel? Like, how messed up must you actually be to say that a baby, a friggin baby, is the embodiment of all evils? Or that a child was a coward for choosing to see his opponent’s last bits of humanity and opted to spare them?

Aang was soo morally conflicted about the idea of killing Ozai not only because it contradicted the morals of his people, but because he himself understood that this man hadn’t always been the cruel beast he came to met in their first and final showdown. It’s important to note here the fact that upon finding that picture, Aang was actually convinced it had to be Zuko as a baby since it looked so innocent and cute and was actually surprised to learn it was Zuko’s father. And that’s the thing, Ozai was born like us all as an innocent and sweet baby. Babies aren’t in any way evil or twisted, they don’t even have the notion of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ defined in their small, still developing minds. In fact, the very choice of the creators to add this picture in the show is meant to tell us this very thing: this man wasn’t always like this. But if he wasn’t always like this, then what happened to make him become this way?

Well, in order to find out the reason, we must go back in time to the very beginning: Ozai’s childhood and upbringing. For this next part I am going to solely focus on the show cannon, as the comics aren’t the products of BryKe and have a lot of inconsistencies to the source’s cannon (you can go and read my other post on why they fail when it comes to Zuko’s character and his family).

 From what we know and can easily deduce by ourselves just from their appearances, Ozai and his brother Iroh have a huge age gap between them (somewhere between 10 and 15 years). This has to be our first red flag: isn’t it soo odd that this family opted to have their children at such a long distance between pregnancies? It almost feels as if Ozai hadn’t actually been part of his father’s actual family planning... In other words, he was a ‘mistake’ child (I actually hate having to use this terminology, but it will become relevant to when we expand on Azulon’s relationship with his sons). Sure, some may argue that Azulon actually decided to have two sons in case something were to happen to his first born, but wouldn’t it have been more logical to have his second born at 2-3 years max distance from his first? Why choose to have your second child when you are much older and thus risk having a baby with issues, if your sole purpose of this child is to serve as an insurance that you don’t ‘run out’ of heirs? It just doesn’t make much sense, so let’s go for the moment with the possibility that Ozai was an unplanned pregnancy.

This perspective actually gives way to another very interesting aspect: remember the infamous “Born lucky...Lucky to be born” quote? What if I tell you that there is a possibility that this quote wasn’t Ozai’s personal wicked invention, but actually something he himself heard from his very own father? It had been puzzling me for a long time why he choose to say “You were lucky to be born” to Zuko, which implies that Zuko wasn’t supposed to exist. I mean, it’s soo odd that Ozai went with something implying that Zuko was an unplanned pregnancy, since Zuko was the first born. So my theory is that maybe Ozai wanted to convey a different message to Zuko when he said that quote, but due to his anger he ended up replicating the same line he received from Azulon at some point in his childhood. We never got the exact flashback when the line was delivered from Ozai to Zuko, so we don’t have the exact context that lead to it (remember, we are excluding Yang’s take on the matter from the comics).

I mean, this feels like something that wicked old Azulon would have said to his least favorite child. Okay, so let’s go with the scenario that Ozai was an unwanted child, to which we could also add the possibility that Ilah’s health deteriorated after the first birth, which makes plausible the family’s initial decision of stopping at 1 kid.

Moving on, we know from the old ATLA character wiki’s that Ozai’s character design was made with Zuko in mind, being meant to be a grown up version of Zuzu, without the scar. An interesting choice indeed and even Iroh’s letter to Zuko on Ozai from one of the ATLA books describes Ozzy in a similar way to teenage Zuko in book 1: stubborn, feisty, determined and with a volcanic personality (easy to anger and competitive), so it means that these were intentional choices to imply that Zuko and his father are more similar than we were led to believe at first glance. Maybe Ozai was the “Zuko” of his generation. Also, in one of the interviews on the royal family, BryKe stated that Ozai worked very hard to get where he is in book 3, referring to his firebending specifically (we all know how Ozzy got the throne, so clearly, he didn’t “work hard” for that), so maybe he wasn’t always the strongest man alive, with the most exceptional firebending skills out there, like Azula who showed ease in her learning, but rather someone closer to Zuko’s weaker performance as a child, building his way to success through endless hard work until he became the prodigy we know today.

Continuing with our theoretical scenario, after his birth, the second child show’s lesser skills compared to his brother Iroh (by that I don’t mean that he wasn’t gifted at all, but that maybe Ozai wasn’t as fast and great of a learner like his big bro), so Azulon opts to just ignore him and continue focusing solely on his golden child. In my headcannon I actually think that Ilah survived the birth and so she was left in charge of the younger child’s education and upbringing. At this point Iroh is already 10 or older, so he is forced to focus on his development, which prevents him from spending time with his lil brother, but just for the sake of being positive, let’s assume that Ozai still had both his mother and his big brother to keep him sheltered from Azulon’s darkness for a small portion of his childhood.

I choose to believe that Ozai had his mother’s love for a small bit of his childhood due to his willingness in the show to allow Ursa (who mind you, as the granddaughter of Roku was considered a treacherous individual) to spend a ton of time with both Zuko and Azula and share her philosophy with the children, as seeing his wife playing with their children probably reminded him of his own bitter-sweet memories he had with Ilah. They also probably spent a lot of their time near the turtle-duck pond since that pond’s existence prolly dates long before Ozai and Ursa married and had their own children.

Unfortunately, Ilah dies and little Ozai remains all alone, to be influenced negatively by his father (and even by his grandpa Sozin, we don’t really know for certain when the old man died, so he prolly was there for a short time when Ozzy was still a child). Azulon most likely blames Ozai for his wife’s death as the second birth might’ve really had a huge toll on Ilah’s already fragile body, bringing her closer to death, so he still neglects and ignores the child, if not straight out bullies and abuses him for not being on par with Iroh. This prolly leads to Ozai becoming jealous of his brother since Iroh has their father’s love, pushing them further apart. I headcannon that this jealousy between the siblings led to Ozai complaining to his dad when he finally had too much of their father’s discrimination (at a similar age to when Zuko prolly did and got the infamous line, if not younger) only to get the “Iroh was born lucky, you were lucky to be born!” line with the sole purpose of hurting him since now the child knows that he was never wanted.

When Azulon scolds very furiously adult Ozai in Zuko’s memories for daring to ask to be named crown prince, he literally says something like “What, you dare ask me to betray MY own son?!” (this is like red flag number two), line that pretty much testifies how Azulon chose to pretty much treat Ozai as if he wasn’t his son too, showcasing how much he despised his second born and favored the first child over him. Since we are on the topic of their last conversation, the punishment Azulon gave to his son alone proves this man’s level of sadism, which leads me to be believe that Ozai’s childhood was full of this type of punishments for bad behaviors that could be easily corrected trough a long serious lecture or a lesser punishment focused more on teaching him an actual lesson. 

The old wikis also mention on the page about the hall with portraits of the previous Fire Lords that it was the place where Ozai chose to spend most of his time in his youth, seeking advice from his ancestors. I mean, seriously now, if he had a good and supportive father and a present brother in his life, would Ozai had chosen to seek guidance from the dead instead of his living family? That piece of information that was easily overlooked by many proves how lonely this man was in his youth.

So for the most part of his life, Ozai grew up under the toxic influence and abuse of his tyrant father who refused to acknowledge him. Yet he managed to grow up still full of determination to one day prove his worth to Azulon and gain his acceptance (just like we saw with Zuko in book 1, who was desperate to regain his honor and be accepted by his father). But unfortunately, no matter how strong he became or how good of a firebender he was, Azulon was unmoved and unphased by his second son’s performance.

From what we could gather from the little info we received in the show, it seems that Ozai was never sent to the battle field to aid his older brother, being kept as a stay home prince, with the only occasion he actually left home being to search for the Avatar (I don’t think Iroh was sent to do his part on searching the Avatar since he strongly believed that there wasn’t going to ever be one, so it’s safe to assume Azulon assigned Ozai with this mission just to get rid of him for a few years) and the only purpose he ever served to his father was to become part of the old man’s genetics experiment in order to create strong unparalleled firebending offspring (which I am pretty sure were meant to be ‘biological war machines’ used by Azulon in the war, as he didn’t really seem to give a shit about Ozai’s children compared to Lu Ten). So just imagine the level of disappointment and dishonor Ozai must’ve felt as a man and young aspiring soldier to find out that he was going to be used like a ‘non-bending daughter’ in a strategical marriage and never get to serve his country in what he’d been taught was the greatest and most important war for their Nation.

All in all, this marriage didn’t really end up that badly because it seems he and Ursa were actually very compatible. The old wiki for Ursa states that she was a noble woman and the perfect match for Ozai, which leads me to believe that show Ursa was intended to be a very strong willed and determined woman who earned his respect. The show never stated that Ozai never wanted his first born or that he was disappointed with Zuko from birth like the comics say, so it’s safe to assume that Ursa and Ozai actually ended up falling in love at some point since they had not one, but two kids with relatively a short time in between pregnancies. 

There are actually many signs in the show that actually prove that these two loved each other and Ozai didn’t abuse his wife: from the fact that they went every year to see Ursa’s favorite play despite Ozai hating the poor performance of the Ember Island Players (I mean, what man would do such a sacrifice as to endure the same torture every single year just to make his wife happy if he never loved her?), Ursa’s undeniable and sincere love for their children (in the show it was never stated that Ursa saw Zuko and Azula as someone else’s children, so if she were indeed an abused woman who was forced to have these children, she wouldn’t have ever loved them to such an extent, especially Zuko who resembled his father the most physically), the fact that Ursa had equal rights in their marriage and raising of their children (her even scolding and grounding Ozai’s favorite child without hesitation), to the most significant scene to the Urzai ship in Zuko’s flashbacks: Ozai sitting troubled all alone in Ursa’s favorite spot by the pond, in a sad and brooding atmosphere, after he lost her, instead of celebrating what had to be the happiest day of his life since he was finally crowned Fire Lord (it’s clear who had more importance in his heart: Ursa meant more to him than the throne, so losing her outshined his achievement). In fact, Ursa must’ve been the only thing that still kept him outside of the darkness that threatened to swallow his heart and once he lost her, Ozai had nothing else to keep him on the right path.

And even as a father, it seems that Ozai wasn’t always cold and distant to his children, as his true self depicted in Zuko’s memories on Ember Island shows him caring for both of his children, even holding Zuko close to him with a protective arm on the boy’s shoulder. Except the Agni Kai, there don’t seem to be any instances in which he was physically violent towards his son before the banishment (Iroh literally let Zuko in to join that faithful war meeting willingly. Would’ve he done that if he knew his brother to be very violent towards his children in case they disobeyed? If yes, then it would make Iroh actually very questionable on a moral standpoint) and even on an emotional level, I don’t really think that he was actually abusive to him (at least while Ursa was there) because from Zuko’s conversation with Zhao, he’s adamant that his father will take him back and even states "You don't know how my father feels about me. You don't know anything!", meaning that the father he used to know showed him a level of respect and genuine affection (if Ozai were to bully Zuko since the boy’s very early childhood, do you think this kid would grow up to be so sure that his father wants him around and would he defend this bully when someone badmouths them in front of him?).

Even with Azula, despite people demonizing her from early childhood and saying that she was manipulated since birth by Ozai to become a war machine, I do believe that she shows genuine love and affection towards her father. I do choose to believe that back in the good times when the family was happy, Ozai spent quality time with his daughter, filling in the gap left by Ursa’s neglect. I theorize that the reason why kid Azula badmouthed her grandpa and uncle was because she was being very protective of her father: since she used to like spying and eavesdropping, it’s safe to assume that she prolly witnessed many instances in which the old man bullied or insulted Ozai, favoring Iroh over him. It’s a bit harder to see it that way since her snarky comments involve dark topics, but since they live in a society governed by power and war, I see them as something similar to if Azula would’ve said “Uncle sucks and he will surely be fired from his job!” or “Grandpa is old and weak, he should leave the family business to dad!”. Even the fact that the only thing capable of shattering her to pieces was her father leaving her proves how much she cared for him. Ty Lee and Mai’s betrayal was a big blow on Azula’s control and sanity, but she didn’t breakdown until Ozai discarded her after his coronation as Phoenix King. There’s nothing more painful in this world than to be left behind by the person you loved the most and was there by your side your whole life, whom you wanted to follow to world’s end and back. That was the moment Azula finally realized that the father she used to know and love was actually gone and had been in fact, long gone for years at this point.

But if Ozai cared for his family what made him change? Easy, it all comes back to the fact that his father never acknowledged him. The throne doesn’t seem to be his ultimate goal in life since Ozai discarded of the Fire Lord title very easily, tossing it to Azula without any remorse or hesitation. It was more about the meaning behind getting the crown: replacing Iroh in the line of succession was the ultimate proof of his father’s acceptance, that he wasn’t only a “mistake” and “failure” in his father’s eyes, but since Azulon ended up saying and doing what he did, backfired Ozai and made him understand that no matter how hard he tried, the old man will never see him for what he is. So yeah, for a proud man like Ozai this was a hard defeat to swallow, which in turn sparked his strong desire of winning the war and becoming the king of the world: if Azulon wouldn’t accept him even in death, then Ozai will prove to the whole world that he was above his father and his “perfect” brother by accomplishing what they never could and even better and no one was going to stop him, not even his own family.

This is what differentiates Ozai from Zuko: while both had similar upbringings, Ozai never broke away from his obsession of gaining his father’s admiration, allowing himself to fall prey to the darkness left by Azulon in his heart and abandon his true self, only to become the copy of his abuser, while Zuko stood up to his dad and chose his own destiny. If Aang were to come back around 20 or 30 years earlier, then he might’ve actually been able to save Ozai just like he saved Zuko, but unfortunately it wasn’t this way.

Do I think that Ozai could still be saved and redeemed even after the events of book 3? Definitely! Since he’s actually a broken man and still has a tiny bit of humanity left within, I think he still has a chance to change his heart. The only thing is that it’d be a long lasting process: first off he needs to spend a long time in solitude and reflect on his life’s choices and his past, understand where he went wrong and that what happened to him in his childhood is called abuse, which he ended up replicating on his own children. After he understands his wrongdoings and becomes willing to rediscover his true self, he needs to understand the truth about the war, that everything he’d known was fake propaganda and that there was nothing glorious in what he, his father and Sozin did under the excuse of “sharing their Nation’s greatness with the rest of the world!”. But most importantly of all, the only remedy that could possibly save him is love. It sound cliche, but by responding to hatred with more hate like Zuko did in the comics would never change the world “for the better” or bring it “to reality”. The only way to save both Azula and Ozai would be trough showing them the power of love, hope and empathy, how they don’t have to struggle alone and push everyone away. And especially by redeeming Azula, she would be a very important piece in Ozai’s redemption: since he had a closer parent-child relationship with Azula and cared for her the most when he did care, realizing how much he made her suffer through his actions, that would probably break Ozai enough to make him admit that he was wrong all along.

So yeah, this is my analysis on Ozai’s character using the cannon information from the show and old wikis and why I think he is just the product of a very bad environment and an abusive parent who never showed him love (if there’s a reason for why Ozai might be uncapable of showing a healthy parental love to his children is because you can’t show what you’ve never learnt yourself), being the Zuko of his generation who never got to experience the positive influence of an “Uncle Iroh” to guide him on the right path. 

You can agree with me or not on this one, but this is what I choose to believe. Maybe I am way too good by choosing to see any potential good in anyone, but I feel it’s a better way than to counter hate with more hate like Yang did in his monstrous portrayal of Ozai in The Search.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments and if you agree with anything I’ve said, feel free to leave a like and to reblog this post.

See you next time and stay safe! Bye-Bye!

Saby out.

[daughterofluthien]

“decisions were respected” Sorry but didn’t Scott violently throw Isaac against a wall more than once just because Isaac liked his ex girlfriend in canon? That’s the literal opposite of healthy...

Hey, anon!

This is in reference to this post about Scallison for the shipping meme, where I said that one of my favorite things about Scallison is that the show lets them have a healthy breakup, and even date other people while still remaining friends. The scenes you are referring to are a pair of scenes in 3x13 Anchors.

So lets’s take a look.

(under a cut bc it turns out that when you try to be comprehensive, things get v long v quickly 😅)

The Scenes

I’m actually gonna copy/paste the dialogue of both scenes (along with minimal action/inflection notation for context) so that we can really make sure we know what we’re talking about here, so bear with me:

The first of these scenes occurs as Scott and Isaac are getting ready to head to school in the morning. After some initial ‘hey, what’re you doing, are you heading to school’ dialogue—during which both boys seem a bit awkward—we get the following:

ISAAC: [anxiously] Can I ask you a question? SCOTT: Okay... ISAAC: Are you angry with me? SCOTT: No! ISAAC: Are you sure? SCOTT: ...No. ISAAC: [awkwardly] What's that mean? SCOTT: I guess I'm not really sure how I'm feeling... ISAAC: [nodding] Okay. ...Do you hate me? SCOTT: [sighing] No, of course not. ISAAC: Do you want to hit me? SCOTT: [taken aback] No. ISAAC: I think you should hit me. SCOTT: I don't want to hit you. ISAAC: Are you sure? SCOTT: Why would I want to hit you? You didn't do anything, did you? ISAAC: [stammering] No. I mean, um... What do you mean? SCOTT: I mean, like, you didn't kiss her or anything, right? ISAAC: No! Absolutely not. No. SCOTT: ...Did you want to? ISAAC: Oh, yeah. Totally. [scene cuts to hallway outside the room. Isaac flies through the doorway and hits the wall] MELISSA: Hey! You two teenage boys? Don't test my entirely un-supernatural level of patience! ISAAC: ...Feel better?

The scene then ends, and we cut to subsequent scenes of Stiles and then Allison also getting ready for school.

The second scene is much shorter and happens later in the episode, after Isaac saves Lydia from an arrow that Allison fired while hallucinating. He and Scott are in Scott’s room again, and he’s telling him about the incident:

SCOTT: Right at her head? ISAAC: Almost right through it. And she keeps saying the same thing-- that she keeps seeing her aunt. Whatever's happening to you guys is getting worse. If I hadn't been there, then Lydia would be dead. SCOTT: ...What were you doing there? ISAAC: Uh... [scene cuts to hallway outside the room. Isaac flies through the doorway and hits the wall] MELISSA: [groaning] Oh, you guys, come on! This house does not have a supernatural ability to heal! So, stop it!

But of course just the text of the scene isn’t enough to accurately convey everything in even a tiny portion of a larger narrative, because nothing happens in a vacuum. With that in mind, let’s look at...

The Context 

The first of these scenes occurs immediately after the opening credits, and is the first time we see either Scott or Isaac this season. (Assuming you consider 3B a separate season, of course, which is a whole ‘nother can of worms. This tv show we all choose to enjoy sure is Something.)

Often, the opening of a season is used to reintroduce the audience to the main characters—letting us know where their characters arcs are starting, and what they’ll be struggling with this season. Teen Wolf did this previously (and did it well, imo) in 3x01 Tattoo. Act 2 of that episode begins with a series of four scenes showing our main characters getting ready for school in the morning, highlighting where everyone currently is, and setting up where their arcs are going to go.

Scene order taken by itself would seem to indicate that they were trying to do something similar in this episode. It starts off with the hook of Stiles’ extended nightmare sequence. He can’t tell dreams apart from reality anymore, and wakes up screaming. Cut to black, cue opening credit sequence.

Immediately after the first ad break, we get a sequence of three scenes. The first is the longer of the two Scott and Isaac scenes (which, as previously mentioned, occurs as they’re getting ready to head out to school). The second is of Stiles. He’s packing for school, and the audience learns that he’s been struggling to read when he’s awake as well. Finally, we see Allison leaving her and her dad’s apartment. She seems like she’s doing fine, if a little over-focused. But then she gets into the elevator, and has an extended hallucination/flashback of Kate.

We learn soon after this that all three of them (Scott, Stiles, and Allison) are suffering from the aftereffects of their sacrifice in the previous season. According to the explanations we get both from Kira and, later, from Deaton, they’re slipping into bardo, or the space between life and death, and there’s a door open in their minds. 

Okay, problem established.

It stands to reason, then, that all three of those opening scenes are supposed to serve to set up this problem. We’re shown, in three successive scenes, that all three of our sacrificees are, as the kids say, Not Doing So Hot.

(yes I know the kids don’t say that, let me be an increasingly out-of-touch millennial in peace)

This is all well and good, and honestly makes sense! Under this paradigm, the Scott and Isaac scene should be highlighting that Scott is Losing Control. Bardo is affecting him, and it’s causing him to be more aggressive. Giving in to violence in a way that he generally holds himself back from. Heck, the scene even starts with Scott flexing his fingers, and we (and Scott) see the shadow of a clawed hand against the door.

In the context of the narrative, it makes sense.

Except.

eXCEPT—

The Framing

The thing about the medium of television is that, when we’re talking about a scene, we can’t just look at the narrative structure. We also have to look at the scene itself: how it’s shot and directed, how it’s edited, even what music is paired with the scenes.

In the Stiles and Allison sequences, the scenes are very clearly shot for tension and horror. Long lingering shots on the things that Just Aren’t Right. Music that heightens the tension. Stiles gets some nice lil scare chords over the shot of the book that he can’t read, and there’s a very quiet droning in the background of the Allison nightmare sequence that slowly grows into some classic horror soundtrack music.

Okay. So far that tracks with the narrative thesis.

Now let’s take look at the Scott and Isaac scene.

We start out with some of those lingering shots I was talking about, as Scott is halted in his tracks when he notices the shadow of the clawed hand. We see his own hand is human and unshifted. There’s quiet, percussion heavy music over this portion of the scene that increases in tension at this point. Shaken, Scott closes his hand into a fist, and when he opens it, both the shadow and his own hand are smooth and human. The tense music fades out to silence, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

Scott opens the door to reveal Isaac, which startles him. There’s a short musical sting to underline this moment, and then the background music cuts out completely, leaving us (and them) in the awkwardness of this moment. 

And OH BOY. IS IT AWKWARD. 😬

You can kinda see the Awkwardness Inherent in the System in the dialogue that I pasted up at the top—it’s a lot of back-and-forth, short statements, trailing off... And both Posey and Sharman are playing up the awkwardness as well. Neither boy looks like they really want to be there, and that includes Isaac, who initiated this entire conversation.

But here’s the thing.

The thing that really frustrates me about this scene.

It’s not the sort of awkwardness that exists to increase the tension. The sort that builds and builds until it reaches a fever pitch and you know something just has to give. You know, the sort of tension that you would want to build if you were showing how the protagonist of your show is no longer fully in control, and is on a knife’s edge of lashing out at his friend and beta.

Instead, it’s played for comedy.

And once again, a lot of this is down to the music.

Before the dialogue that I quoted at the top even begins, the music starts back up, and this time the tense percussion has been replaced by light, pizzicato strings. (That may not be the exact right term, fyi, I only really know enough about music theory to be dangerous.) But you know, the playful, plucked strings that often accompanies comedic or otherwise not-serious scenes.

Background music tells the viewer how they’re supposed to feel about the events in a particular scene, and the music here is saying that we’re not supposed to find this whole confrontation that dramatic. In fact, we’re supposed to find it funny.

But it’s not just the music that that frames this scene as comedic. It’s also the fact that we don’t actually see Scott shoving Isaac. Instead, the scene cuts to the hallway, and all we see is Isaac flying through the doorway.

Now, obviously I don’t have a direct line to the director and editors’ minds here. But I would bet money that those particular shots were chosen 1). because it’s so much easier to do a wire pull stunt when you don’t have to show what it’s in reaction to, and 2). because it’s kinda difficult to show your main character directly doing a violence and make it funny.

But show someone yeeted into frame, and that’s funny. Right?

(Spoiler alert: not in this context, it isn’t)

Now, I know I’ve been focusing on the first scene a lot—partially because it’s longer and partially because it’s really the only reason that the second scene exists—but I do want to take a look at the second scene really quickly as well. It’s much shorter and generally adopts a more serious tone than the first one, mostly due to fact that we’re smack dab in the middle of the action at this point. The weird visions that the sacrificees have been having all episode have started endangering lives, and they can’t just wait for it to resolve on its own.

But then the focused, intent exposition is broken by Scott’s question of “why were you there.” Then smash cut to a near identical shot of the hallway,and Isaac yeeting into frame.

The thing is, this scene is entirely dependent on the previous one. It only “works”—and I use this term loosely—as a call back to the scene at the beginning of the ep. Heck, both even have the stinger of a frustrated Melissa at the end of both scenes, frustrated at all the boys-will-be-boys roughhousing going on in her house.

Much like the first scene, this one is also set up and framed for Comedy.

Which is um. A Choice. 

But What Does It All Mean

What frustrates me about these scenes, at the end of the day, is that the narrative intention and the directing/editing seem to be fundamentally at odds.

On the one hand, it makes narrative sense to say that the purpose of the scenes is to show that Scott is losing control. That he’s being affected by bardo and the open door in his mind, and it’s putting the people close to him in danger. But then on the other, the way the scenes are actually used are as comic relief. As a way to release tension between very tense, dramatic scenes. 

I don’t think it works, as I don’t personally find it funny at all. But that really does seem to be the intention.

Once again, absolutely wILD choices were made on the part of tptb, and I really wish anyone had thought for two seconds about the implications of all of this, but nO

Ahem.

So now (literally 2K words later I’m so sorry 😅) what does this tell us about the characters? Certainly no one here is arguing that shoving someone is a good or defensible choice, whether it’s due to forces outside the character’s control or not. But even taking the influence of bardo in mind, is it even in character for Scott in the first place?

Because canon can also be written inconsistently/out of character, especially when we’re talking about a long-running show like tw.

One’s an Incident, Two is Coincidence...

Well, we all know the end of that saying.

So let’s end by looking at a few patterns.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this, once again, eXCEEDINGLY long post, this is reference to a post I made about scallison. I said the following in that post:

And I also really like that they [Scott and Allison] didn’t get back together. That they were allowed to be friends. That even though sometimes it hurt to watch someone you love loved love become romantically close to another person, decisions were respected, and no friendships were broken over it.

The first pattern we need to look at, then, is this:

What’s Scott’s pattern of behavior toward Allison and Isaac’s relationship?

And does Scott’s behavior toward Isaac in these two scenes match the pattern, or is it an outlier?

3x11 Alpha Pact: Sacrifice Prep The revelation that Allison and Isaac have grown close enough for him to act as emotional tether for her is very visibly a blow to Scott. He looks like the rug has been pulled out from under him, but he doesn’t look angry or upset, just.... sad. In fact, it looks like he’s swallowing back tears. But he nods towards the two of them and just says, “It’s okay.”

3x12 Lunar Ellipse: “I look for my friends” This is the epilogue of the season. Scott walks into the hallway at all of his friends in turn. Satisfied. Happy. First at Lydia and Aiden, then at Danny and Ethan. Then he turns and watches as Isaac and Allison walk down the stairs, and they’re laughing, and so obviously happy, and Scott’s small smile grows. He isn’t jealous here—he’s happy for them. 

3x14 Illuminated: Mutual Recognition Scott and Allison are both at Danny’s halloween party, but they’re not here together. He sees her from across a crowded room, just like he did at the winter formal, so many months ago. But so much has happened, and they’re different people now. Allison’s with Isaac, and he’s starting to having feelings for Kira, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, and that he doesn’t miss the relationship he and Allison had. For a moment, his fingers slip away from Kira’s, and he and Allison share a sad smile. 

Believe it or not, these are actually the only other examples I could find of Scott reacting to Isaac and Allison’s relationship. And uniformly across them, he’s sad, yes—after all, he loved her, and that relationship is very definitively over now. But he never seems jealous, and he isn’t angry.

So, if the Scott and Isaac scenes in Anchors don’t fit the pattern of Scott’s behavior towards the new couple, what pattern do they fit?

“Hit me.”

The teen wolf writers have a... really upsetting habit, honestly, of “resolving” interpersonal conflict between two characters by having the “wronged” party hit the other. Afterwards, the tension is almost completely broken between them, as if letting the person act aggressively in a way consensual to both parties has somehow solved the problem.

2x11 Battlefield: Derek and Peter After Peter comes back from the dead, he confronts the now pack-less Derek and offers to help him. Derek, likely remembering that Peter killed Laura and was responsible for most of the events of S1, attacks him instead. After taking a beating, Peter says the following:

PETER: Okay, go ahead! Come on, do it! Hit me. Hit me. I can see that it's cathartic for you! You're letting go of all the anger, self-loathing, and hatred that comes with total and complete failure. I may be the one taking the beating, Derek, but you've already been beaten. So, go ahead. Hit me if that will make you feel better. After all, I did say that I wanted to help.

3x13 Anchors: Scott and Isaac We’ve already discussed this scene in uh. Detail. So I don’t think we need to go into the specifics again. But just a reminder that this dialogue exists:

ISAAC: Do you want to hit me? SCOTT: No. ISAAC: I think you should hit me.

5x15 Amplification: Scott and Liam During the previous supermoon, Liam—swayed by grief, the full moon, and Theo’s manipulations—tried to kill Scott and take his power. They’ve since rediscovered an equilibrium in their relationship, and Liam’s back in Scott’s pack, but they’re both still dealing with the implications of that event. In this episode, they’re attempting to break Lydia out of Eichen, but they’re not as strong as they should be, due to the mountain ash laced through the building, and are having difficulty breaking down a door. Then, the following exchange occurs:

LIAM: Hit me. SCOTT: What? LIAM: Hit me! I'll get angry, then I'll get stronger. STILES: Hit him. Hit him! LIAM: I tried to take your powers. I tried to kill you. Hit me! STILES: He also left you for dead. LIAM: I wanted you dead!

6x16 Triggers: Liam and Theo No one actually directly says “hit me” in  this one, due to the circumstances, but the sentiment’s there. In this sequence, Liam and Theo are trying to convince Gerard and the hunters that the whole pack is hiding out in the zoo, so Theo goads Liam into hitting him, in order to stage a very audible fight.

THEO: Okay... Then they have to believe us.[shouts] Isn't that right? LIAM: [whispers] Why are you yelling? THEO: [shouts] You got a problem? Oh, that's right, you always have a problem! LIAM: [whispers] What the hell are you doing? THEO: [shouts] Shut up! [punches Liam] Yeah, you see that, Scott? Your little Beta can't even take a punch. And what do you think, Malia?

While there’s a variety of primary textual reasons here, all of them deal with personal issues between the pair, and all of them involve some level of catharsis for the person doing the punching. Taken all together, it’s honestly a pretty troubling pattern, especially given the inclusion of an actual canonical abuse victim initiating and receiving the violence.

TL;DR

This is a writer issue, not a character issue. The serious narrative context conflicts with the comedic framing in a way that is honestly baffling to me, and it doesn’t fit the established pattern of Scott’s character and actions. Moreover, it’s an example of the writers’ apparent belief that interpersonal conflict can and should be solved through consensual violence.

The pattern we do see, is that the Scott is saddened by the knowledge that Allison has moved on, but he’s glad that she and Isaac are happy. Similarly, Allison is saddened that Scott is moving on as well, because she does still care for him deeply. Despite their conflicted feelings, neither tries to disrupt the other’s new relationship.

On other shows, that would be a season-long, drama-filled plotline. Here, nothing.

And I legitimately love that so much.

[itsclydebitches]

I always find it strange how often I see people criticising James Ironwood for bringing the Atlas Military into Vale for the Vytal Tournament. Forgetting that one, the Vytal Tournament is an international event that houses who knows how many people from across Remnant that are in need of proper official protection and not what are essentially the equivalent of hired mercenaries. And that two, Blake Belladonna, did pretty much the exact same thing. She, along with Ghira and Kali Belladonna brought hundreds of barely trained civilians into Mistral, the supposedly second most racist nation mind you, to fight against what is basically a terrorist attack on Haven. Honestly, most people who hate James probably hated him from the very beginning, ignoring any good he did. Simply cause he’s military.

The argument  — and I see these exact words a great deal  — is, “Ironwood brought an army to a peace festival. He’s always been a bad guy in the making.” This, like so many other interpretations of RWBY, is technically a truthful statement, making it easy to miss that the spirit of the statement isn’t truthful. They’re missing the second half of our context: “Ironwood brought an army to a peace festival because he’s knows they’re not actually at peace.” That’s the difference between a guy who brings an army to a peaceful celebration because he’s paranoid and wants to exert unnecessary control over the event, and a guy who brings an army to a peaceful celebration because he’s one of a handful of people who know they’re secretly at war. A war he has just learned it picking up again. You can make anyone’s action look simplistically evil if you withhold enough information. “They punched me!” with an implied “For no reason other than that they’re awful” is very different from “They punched me!” followed by an admission of, “Because I attacked them first.” 

This is the heart of Ozpin and Ironwood’s disagreement in Volume 3. You can’t convince the world that a war doesn’t exist and do everything necessary to prepare for an attack. Either you play at peace and risk everyone’s safety, or you prepare and you risk their panic. What’s particularly interesting to me though is that the fans who argue that Ironwood has always been a dictator in the making simultaneously seem to dislike Ozpin, yet both of their actions are intimately tied up in one another’s. I’ve personally never thought that telling the world about Salem was a smart move, just given how many people have reacted negatively to that information, but we nevertheless have to acknowledge that Ironwood is only “bringing an army to a peaceful event” because of Ozpin’s secrets. So if fans hate Ozpin for his secrets, why aren’t they sympathetic towards what those secrets have encourage Ironwood to do? If the world knew about Salem, they’d also know there was only peace between the kingdoms, not the kingdoms and Salem, and they’d likely understand why an armed force was necessary. They’d arguably have wanted one. See: the cheering over the paladins, Ozpin jumping on using the army since they have one now, hiring people to guard the train, Blake’s solution being to lead a quickly formed army into Haven, etc. The fandom ignores that armed forces were, for the vast majority of our story, presented as both necessary and wanted. Hell, I’d argue that’s still the case. If we erased Ironwood’s military from the story under the argument that it’s intrinsically bad, then Atlas is gone. Salem would have overrun the city and decimated the civilians with no opposition. The argument is that the military is unnecessary because we have good hearted individuals to defend the people instead, but where are they now? Most are dead thanks to Lionheart’s actions, those remaining are far away, and those here hung out in a mansion trying to decide if they would fight. The dialogue says, “Soldiers who follow orders are bad, be more like the huntsmen who decide to help out of the goodness of their hearts” but the plots says, “Those soldiers kept a kingdom alive when our supposed heroes decided not to help.”  

To be frank, at this point the concept of our group being the “simple souls” to contrast the evil military man is absurd. They went to an institution to train as soldiers  — in everything but name  — so that they could impose safety and law on the world through the use of dangerous weaponry, many of which are a type of gun. They accepted official licenses for this career, gifted to them by a military general. They became a part of that military for a significant length of time. They achieved their goal prior to this by stealing and utilizing military property. And despite what some in the fandom may say, the group is no more of a democracy than the Ace Ops are: everyone follows Ruby’s orders. Again, a general in all but name. 

Ironwood is a bad guy now. He has been since he shot Oscar with (I think) a clear intent to kill. I’m not disputing that and, to be frank, I have a great deal of criticism for militaries in the real world and in many other forms of media. However, I’m constantly surprised by the fandom’s simplistic “Of course he’s bad, he’s military” take when the show was not critical of the military until Volume 7 and our heroes have far more in common with that evil military than they do differences. Whenever I hear, “Ironwood brought an army to a peace festival” my brain immediately goes, “And Ruby stole from, then attacked, someone she was at peace with. Then attacked others rather than accept accountability for her actions. Blake raised an army because she deemed it necessary. Everyone is using upgraded military tech to win their fights. Everyone carries licenses given to them by a commander.” Ironwood is evil because of the actions he’s taken now  — murdering people, threatening to bomb Mantle, etc. Ironwood is not evil because he made use of organized forces with deadly weaponry to protect the people. If that’s our standards for evil here (in the show, crucially, about fighting monsters that are a constant threat) than our whole cast is “evil” too. The image of Ruby pointing her gun at Cordovin to get what she wants and the image of Ironwood pointing his guns at the Ace Ops to get what he wants is not nearly as far removed from one another as they should be. The fandom is just very good at coming up with excuses for the cute girl threatening people. 

Honestly, there’s a whole other essay there about the importance of character design and the influence that has on how forgiving we are of their actions. Ironwood is a white passing man with a serious personality and half a metal body. Ruby’s design emphasizes that little girl look, is the second youngest of our group, and frequently has moments where she’s made out to be adorable. It’s no coincidence that the fandom has an easier time shrugging of her  — and her friends’ — displays of violence. All of which is a great example of why you should plan out your story themes ahead of time! There is a fundamental problem with, eight years in, pushing an anti-military message when you’ve already designed your world around military necessity, made your heroes a part of those institutions twice over, and began all this with the idea, “What if a 15 year old had a high powered sniper rifle and was given free reign to decide how she’ll use it to protect the public? Would that be cool or what?” RWBY began as “Teenagers are given fantasy guns to shoot monsters, how epic” and has now tried to become, “Teenagers are given fantasy guns to shoot monsters attacking their home, how horrific. This is an institutional problem that, if we kill this one guy, will instantly be solved.” That really doesn’t work. 

[seven-oomen]

If You Are Going Through Hell, Keep Going

These are the words that Marin Morrell – Druid, Emissary, Guidance Counselor – says to Stiles Stilinski in “Battlefield” (02x11) And I think they suit his character just perfectly, because Stiles has been going through Hell all his life.

The Teen Wolf Fandom don’t talk nearly enough about Stiles’ traumas, so I’ll try my best to do it myself *I won’t even remotely touch on the Void Stiles, Dark Stiles, Donovan and the Nogitsune trauma though, because it’s extremely complex and deserves its own Meta*

It’s Canon that Noah was an alcoholic (as Rafael pointed out to Stiles in 03x11 Alpha Pact), that he neglected and lashed out at his own child (Stiles’ memory in 02x09 Party Guessed), and that Stiles was verbally, emotionally, and physically abused by his mentally ill mother, Claudia, throughout his childhood (there’s a whole magnificently acted, heart wrenching scene about it with flashbacks and all in 05x06 Required Reading.) It’s Canon that Stiles had to take care of himself and of his father before AND after Claudia’s death. And it’s Canon that Stiles – who was only an eight years old child at the time – was at the hospital with his mother when she died, nobody else:

[Teen Wolf Season 3 Episode 11, Alpha Pact]

CHRIS: You knew… I remember meeting you once, before you were Sheriff. You questioned me about a body. You knew something was up. You just weren’t ready to believe it.

NOAH: You’re right. There was a night eight years ago… the night my wife died. I was at the end of a shift, and a call came in. There had been a pile-up, and a young woman… she was a teenager, actually. She was trapped under an overturned car. We had to wait for the paramedics. We were never getting her out, but I was able to hold her hand. She knew she was gonna die. But I just kept telling her “No, no, listen. The paramedics are on their way.” And then I remember her hand suddenly gripped mine so tightly that I literally thought she was gonna break the bones. And she looked me in the eyes, and she said “If you wanna be with her, go now.” And I knew she was talking about my wife… But then that other part of my brain — the part that looks for clues, for fingerprints, for logical connections… that part told me that there is no way that this girl could possibly know about Claudia. And so I stayed. I stayed until the paramedics pulled her out. Until her heart stopped beating and they declared her dead.

NOAH: When I finally got to the hospital, I saw Stiles sitting in the waiting room with his head in his hands… He was with Claudia when she died.

NOAH: But I wasn’t. I wasn’t with her because I didn’t believe… I just did not believe.

It’s also Canon that Derek Hale is a rape victim and that the hunters slaughtered Derek, Cora and Peter’s entire pack/family (including humans and children.) And it’s Canon that Stiles immediately sides with the Hales and openly confronts Chris about what Kate had done to the Hales in 01x12, Code Breaker:

CHRIS: Let me ask you a question, Stiles. Have you ever seen a rabid dog?

STILES: No. I could put it on my to-do list, if you just let me go.

CHRIS: Well, I have. And the only thing I’ve ever been able to compare it to is seeing a friend of mine turn on a full moon. Do you wanna know what happened?

STILES: Not really. No offense to your storytelling skills.

CHRIS: He tried to kill me, and I was forced to put a bullet in his head. The whole while that he lay there dying, he was still trying to claw his way toward me, still trying to kill me, like it was the most important thing he could do with his last breath. Can you imagine that?

STILES: No. And it sounds like you need to be a little bit more select—

CHRIS: Did Scott try to kill you on the full moon? Did you have to lock him up?

STILES: Yeah, I did. I had to handcuff him to a radiator. Why? Would you prefer I locked him in the basement and burned the whole house down around him?

CHRIS: I hate to dispel a popular rumor, Stiles, but we never did that.

STILES: Oh, right. Derek said you guys had a code. I guess no one ever breaks it.

CHRIS: Never!

STILES: What if someone does?

CHRIS: Someone like who?

STILES: Your sister.

Unlike self-proclaimed hero and ruler of Beacon Hills Scott McCall, who immediately sides with the Argents and tells Derek Hale that his family deserved to be burnt alive by the hunters in front of his comatose uncle………..

-----

I feel like there is a lot to unpack on Stiles’s trauma. And I will go over these moments one by one, why they’re damaging, what I think the context of the scene is supposed to represent ft how people might take it. And what my personal thoughts are regarding Stiles’s trauma.

First of, I would like to say that the following words are my take on this. I am a 29 year old trans man of caucasian descend who is an domestic violence and abuse survivor. I am diagnosed with ADHD since 12 and diagnosed with CPTSD since this year. I understand trauma and I understand what it does to people. But I am not a professional. I am a fan, who’s responding to the submission of another, anonymous, fan.

You are completely free to have your own takes on this matter and your own headcanons. That’s what fandom is for.

That said, I would love to have a discussion if you can have it peacefully.

Stiles is a character who was (Unwillingly) neglected, emotionally traumatized and both emotionally and verbally abused by both of his parents. There is even evidence of physical abuse by his mother.

I think it does need to be said, that neither of his parents intended for this to happen. What happened in the Stilinski family was by and large a very traumatic event for everyone involved.

Noah is an alcoholic, as Stiles also confirms in the episode that Noah never really stopped drinking. His alcoholism is a result of his own traumas and possible ND mind and an unhealthy coping mechanism.

As a result of this, Noah most likely was verbally and emotionally abusive during his drunken tirades.

I personally think that before Claudia was diagnosed and got sick Stiles had a good childhood. His parents tried their best to be good parents for him and laid a good foundation for him. This is evidenced in the bond Stiles seems to have with his father in general. He’s not afraid of his father, he’s nervous about consequences. But he never gives off a vibe to me that truly says; I fear this man and I have to stay in line to stay alive.

Unlike Isaac and his father.

This also tells me, that unlike Elias Stilinski, Noah never lashed out physically at Stiles. He was trying to break a cycle of abuse but more than likely still fell victim to it himself when he could no longer cope with trauma and his neurodivergency and started drinking.

That doesn’t mean that he’s not guilty of abusing his own son. We know Noah can be neglectful and dismissive towards Stiles (even though he tries his best not to be) and has a tendency to low key insult Stiles from time to time. Whether or not he truly means to or not is up for debate, I personally think he doesn’t mean to do it, but Stiles is clearly heartbroken every time Noah accidentally lashes out. 

As evidenced by sentences: “I’ve never believed a word he said since he was born.” “Thank you, son I should have had.” (To Scott)

Stiles already has a deep founded fear that he’s not enough, that he killed his own mother, that he’s not believed by the people around him, and that people don’t want to take him seriously.

This is clear in every interaction he has with the people around him.

Which also brings me to what happened in 2x09. Now based on the context clues of that scene, I actually don’t believe Stiles saw a play-by-play memory. But rather, Stiles saw his greatest fear play out in a hallucination. 

Why do I believe that?

Because in the same scene, Allison has a hallucination about becoming her own worst nightmare (a huntress like Kate) and Scott sees a hallucination of Allison and Jackson making out. (Aka, losing Allison.) 

I think the scene both has fabrications and truths in it. The truth is that more than likely, Stiles saw his father getting drunk at his mother’s funeral and lashing out at people around him in his drunken stupor. (Which on one hand, one can understand if you take the pain and trauma into account, but it’s not a healthy or an okay thing to do, obviously. This is definitely where Noah fell apart.)

I also like to think one of the other adults put a stop to Noah’s behavior before he could get out of hand. But we never really see her funeral play out, so that is speculation.

The fabrication is the scene that follows. We know that Claudia was the one that actually said the words to Stiles. “You’re killing me, he’s killing me.” 

And that Noah was the voice of reason in that scene. “No, he’s not. You’re sick, let’s go back inside.” (Or something along those lines. I can’t remember the exact words.)

What I think is more than likely is that Stiles’s greatest fear is that his father actually believes he killed his mother. As that is what his mother said to him before she died.  And so that’s what he hallucinated under the influence of the wolfsbane.

Stiles’s greatest fear is losing both of his parents, no matter in what way that is. He also fears that he failed as a son, and failed to take care of his father. All of this is fueled by losing his mother and watching her die at a very young age.

And that is where Stiles’s trauma truly lies. He watched his mother die (at the age of 10) slowly while she lost her mind to a terrible illness. 

His father couldn’t handle losing his wife and not being able to help her and the previous traumas he endured in his own childhood. And Stiles had to step up to take care of him. That changes a child and leaves a mark. A mark that Stiles can’t shake.

We know Noah neglected Stiles by not being able to care for him as he should have, we know Noah tends to think Stiles has wild conspiracy theories and tends not to believe him.

Which traumatized Stiles even though Noah didn’t intend for that to happen. That doesn’t mean that Stiles’s trauma isn’t real though. It’s very real. This is also the reason why he immediately chooses Derek’s side in 1x12.

For Stiles, not being believed is a daily reality and he doesn’t want anyone else to go through that as well. Which is why he chooses Derek’s side. Because Stiles, due to his own trauma, is hard-wired to believe the victim and tends to defend them.

Now I think a lot of people take a lot of Stiles’s scenes literal because they identify with what’s happening on screen. Because Stiles isn’t being believed by the other characters, the audience tends to take his perspective at face value. Even in situations where it’s made clear that Stiles, like other characters, is hallucinating at the time.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I do think it’s something to consider.

Tagging a few people who might want to add a thought or two to this.

@mostly-vo1d @artemisa97 @msmischief101

[one-boring-person]

Swear To It.

Paul (The Lost Boys) x reader

Warnings: angst, mention of injury

Context: this is sort of a continuation of my last Paul fic (Behave Yourself). Basically, the reader is on duty and has to separate a fight, only to figure out that one of the people involved is their very own boyfriend.

A/N: I feel like I've released a lot of Top Gun stuff recently, so I thought I'd get this out of my drafts, as is started this last week and haven't had time to finish it. I felt in the mood for some angst, so here we go 😂😅

Masterlist

The Boardwalk is unusually busy for a Tuesday night, the normally popular attractions and shops swarming with people, the rides crowded and unpleasant to go on, what with the sheer volume of people trying to get on at the same time, drunk and tipsy gaggles of teens causing insignificant havoc all over the place. A few older visitors have complained over the last hour, but, as always, we ignore them, knowing by now that most of then are exaggerating about the severity of the problems, trying to get the younger population to leave the Boardwalk to them. Thankfully we haven't had to break up many fights, though my chest still hurts from where some screaming girl elbowed me when I had to pull her away from her sobbing "friend", red welts lining my arm from where she managed to scratch at me, the otherwise unmarked skin stinging a little under my uniform shirt.

Having been told to continue my rounds, I pace slowly around the perimeter of the carousel, eyeing the throbbing crowd with a practised eye, taking in the rowdy surfers and punks gathered a little way away, their leaders apparently having an arguement; though I don't see it escalating any time soon, another security guard walking up to them to sort it out even as they start to break apart. Not much is audible over the tinny music and cacophony of voices, but I recognise the general gist of what is being said: we'll finish this later. I fight the urge to roll my eyes, instead focusing on a group of three teenagers surrounded by a cloud of blue smoke, the pungent odour clearly cannabis, joints pinched between shaking hands, their laughter lazy and drug-induced, one of them practically using the others as a crutch. Cracking my neck, I prepare to deal with them, intending to remind them that drug use is not quite legal in the presence of smaller children, hoping to advise them that there are better (more discreet) places to continue their fun. I go to walk over to them, only to be stopped by a sudden shout behind me, the sound oddly familiar.

Turning towards it, I notice a commotion starting near the ticket booth, where a group of curious onlookers has gathered around what I can only imagine is two unruly teens initiating a fight. I start to push my way through the crowds towards them, my pace hindered by the multitudes of people in my way, my urgency spiking as more shouts and curses follow the initial one, the audience starting to chant the word "fight" over and over again, as if they were still in high school, cheering and taunting accompanying the uproar as more of us security guards move in to break it up.

As I approach, I am greeted by a few elbows to the body, feet stamping on mine as I push through the hordes, the riled-up onlookers pushing together into a near impenetrable wall of bodies. Yelling at them all to move out of the way, I manage to force my way through, where I have to take a moment to realise who exactly it is causing chaos at this exact moment.

My eyes lock with David and Dwayne's across the newly formed circle briefly, at which point I take in that they're trying to force their brother off of the cursing rocker beneath him, Marko trying to hold back one of the victim's friends as he tries to escalate the situation. Ignoring the shouts and commands of his friends, Paul continues beating the hell out of the guy on the floor, obviously in a rage over something, fists flying in a relentless volley, despite the hands on his back holding him away. Shock and anger flood me at the sight, noticing that the rocker at his feet is covered in blood and bruises, one of his eyes already starting to swell up into an ugly purple colour, though he hasn't submitted yet, choosing instead to kick and scratch at any available body part he can reach, swearing profusely at the vampire.

Without another thought, I throw myself forwards, being the first guard on the scene, latching myself onto Paul's shoulder, hands propped against his chest as I force my way under his arm, knowing that the most leverage I'll get is if I'm underneath him pushing upwards and away from the other, who is currently punching at my back. I call out to them both, telling them to cut it out, knowing I can't really use Paul's name in case I give away our relationship, my muscles straining under the vampire's supernatural strength, struggling to push him away. After a minute or so, my words finally seem to sink in, the lanky blonde pulling away with a growl of frustration, a sick smirk of pride plastered over his face as he watches another security guard helping his victim to his feet, eyes flashing dangerously at the scent of fresh blood before they flick to me, realisation setting in as I give him a disgusted look. I turn to the others, ignoring my boyfriend completely.

"Get him out of here." I simply say to them, nodding appreciatively at them as they agree, the three of them moving to take Paul away from the Boardwalk, and away from me. Anger and frustration race through my veins as I stalk over to help the other guard with the battered rocker, my own body aching now from the blows it received, though I don't say anything as we carry the guy away from the crowd towards the small building we use as a place to store our stuff whilst at work.

An hour later, I'm dismissed, my feet dragging in exhaustion and dull anger as I trek home, my mind replaying the events of the shift in my head.

He knew I was working today. He knew and he started a fight anyway.

Frustrated sighs leave me every now and then as I walk, subconsciously finding my way back to my home, where a motorcycle is already waiting outside, the sight of which stirs up a feeling of dead and frustration. Ignoring it, I go to the door and unlock it, stepping inside and throwing my bag to the floor, taking my shoes and jacket off as I shuffle further into the hall, going straight to the stairs. Instead of going to my room, I enter the bathroom instead, quickly stripping and getting into the shower, knowing full well that the person I least want to see is somewhere in the house, and that he knows I'm annoyed at him. As the water runs down my body, I try to ignore the fact that I'm going to have to face him, focusing instead on the motions of cleaning myself, finding the actions soothing to do, working the knots out of muscles, wincing when my hands run over the newly formed bruises and welts on my skin.

I take around ten minutes, climbing out and drying off at a relatively slow pace, trying to relax myself in preparation for what is to come, finally wrapping the towel around myself before stepping out of the bathroom. Going to my room, I halt in my tracks when I catch sight of the lithe vampire sat on my bed, a deep frown etching itself onto my face.

"What do you want?" I grit out, turning my back as I go to my dresser, rooting around in my draws for some comfortable clothes, pulling out a shirt and trousers.

"I wanted to apologise for the fight. I didn't realise it was such a big deal for you, and I didn't mean to get into one tonight." Paul responds quietly, audibly standing and walking to stand behind me.

Bristling slightly, I clench my jaw at his words, a spark of anger flaring up in me.

"You know full well how I feel about people starting fights on the Boardwalk." I snap back at him, turning and pushing past him.

"Yeah, I know, but I never meant to get into a fight! I'm sorry!" He reasons, trying to follow me, only just realising that I'm not wearing any clothes.

"It's always the same, though. You didn't mean to start it, you didn't realise, blah blah blah. When is it ever going to change, Paul? I'm fed up with coming home beaten and bruised because I've had to separate people, and then to have to pry my own boyfriend away from someone? It's just not fair to me, and that's something that you don't seem to realise."

The vampire is silent for a moment, his blue eyes fixed on me, mind clearly working to form a response. I don't give him the time, striding forwards to push him out of the door, closing it in his face with some force. Turning, I sigh heavily, hating the hurt look that flashed across his face as I did so, swiftly changing into my more comfortable clothes and collapsing on the bed, my fists clenching in the duvet as I try to control myself, resisting the urge to open the door to him again.

For a little while, I remain there, sprawled on the bed with tears of exhaustion and frustration threatening to spill from my eyes, my anger fading a little until it's just a dull emotion clouding my mind. Internally, I consider quitting my job, considering the factors keeping me there: I'm good at my job, it pays well enough to afford basic needs and it's secure, though the factors pushing me away almost seem to have a greater affect on me - coming home bruised most nights, having to put up with rowdy Boardwalk goers, dealing with verbal and some physical abuse from some of the more raucous visitors. Sniffing, I curl myself up into a ball, barely registering as there is a knock on the window.

Looking over, I let out a sigh of frustration at the sight of Paul crouched on the ledge, his tall frame bent almost in two as he peers in at me, gesturing with one finger at the latch, expression almost desperate. I stare at him, thinking over the options in my head: I could leave him out there, or I can let him in to explain himself. It takes me a couple of minutes to decide, a frustrated growl leaving me as I stand up, my steps slow and calculated as I go to the window, watching as a small smile works it's way onto his handsome face. Approaching, I keep my expression neutral, reaching for the latch and flicking it open, turning instantly and walking back to my bed, where I sit with my eyes fixed on him.

Awkwardly, he forces himself through the window, relief evident in his expression as he finally stands up straight again and closes the makeshift door behind him, hands wringing together, as if fighting the urge to move forwards, body tense.

"Look, I'm really sorry, (Y/n). I wasn't aware that your job was so difficult, and I hate that I made it difficult for you tonight. I'm really sorry that you got hurt because of me, I feel really ashamed that it happened. I know I have to make it up to you somehow, so I hope you'll let me, because I really don't want to lose you! I'll do anything to keep you!" He finally says, voice pleading and laced with shame, teeth biting at his lip as he watches me for a reaction, welts appearing on his pale hands from where he's digging his fingers in.

Eyeing him, I think over what he's said, silently wondering whether or not to accept his apology, the anger within me spiking a little, though I swiftly suppress it again, sighing heavily as I stand up from the bed, having made a decision.

"I accept your apology, Paul, but I need you to understand that saying you're sorry is a different thing to showing me you're sorry. I know I got hurt tonight, but I'm not the only security guard that works there, and I'm sure they'd all rather they didn't come home with bruises every night. If you want to make it up to me, then you have to swear to me that you'll not get into another fight on the Boardwalk, and that you'll make sure the others understand that, too." I explain to him, referring to the rest of his coven, watching as his emotions seem to force themselves put over his face, a variety of odd expressions following my words. Finally, he seems to settle on relieved, eyes bright with happiness.

"Yes, of course I'll swear to that! I'll do anything, (Y/n), you mean too much to me to lose you!" Paul gushes, rushing forwards slightly, as if to bring me into a hug, only stopping as couple of inches away from me, hesitating.

"Do it, then. Swear to it." I prompt him, looking up into his face.

"I swear to you, that I won't start, or get into another fight on the Boardwalk. I swear it on my life." He promises, completely serious for once, meaning it's totally genuine.

"Good." I smile up at him, finally giving in to the urge I've had since I first walked in, stepping forwards to rest my head against his chest, my arms linking around his abdomen.

Happily, he wraps his own arms around me, crushing me against his body as he buries his face in my hair, his familiar scent enveloping me as we stand there. Perfectly content, we remain in place for what feels like hours, neither of us saying a word, just happy to be in each other's company for the time being, my body trying it's best to relax.

The rest of the night is spent cuddling together, neither of us wanting to be away from the other, Paul only leaving when he notices that the sun is close to coming up, cutting it fine as he always does. As he leaves, he promises me that he'll be waiting for me on the Boardwalk the next night, ready to help me deal with troublesome Boardwalk goers.

[waywardfacegarden]

what’s your opinion of the last few chapters of ao no flag and how they fit in with the rest of the manga? 👀 (like do you think the ending was well set-up and satisfying?)

Sorry it took me so long to reply to this!!!!!!! I absolutely flipped of happiness when I got this ask, so thank you so much for sending it!!!! I love talking about things I love, and this manga is so criminally underrated imo, but I have SO MANY THOUGHTS!!! It’s nice having an excuse to rant about it, lol. Also, feel more than free to rant about this question, too, I would love to hear your opinion!!!

Here goes my way-too-long reply under the cut:

To be honest, I have a lot of thoughts about this manga but I’m too bad at expressing myself and articulating my opinions in a coherent way, so this is probably going to be pretty incoherent ajsdlashfldsf, my apologies in advance.

First of all, I have to state that I really like the ending!!!!!!! I totally understand that some people say it was rushed, but it wasn’t like that for me. At least, not in a way that made me feel like I wasted my time reading it.

As for the whole Futaba/Taichi breaking up and Touma/Taichi being endgame, I absolutely loved it. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to have more context and background about how Taichi and Touma got together (and if the author decided to do a short spin-off about some moments between that time skip, I’d read it in a flash), but I also like the myriad of possibilities you can play with in your mind of how that happened. I like the open aspect of it. Also, I really, really, really, really loved Futaba and Taichi’s relationship, and I have to admit that when I read that “two years later... I broke up with Futaba” line, my jaw dropped LOL. I had to pause my reading for a couple of minutes to fully process it, if I’m honest. Not to say I hated it, but it did hurt me that they broke up LOOL. However, I also found it... realistic? It’s not like Futaba and Taichi’s relationship was bad or that at some point I thought “this is due to end at some point, I don’t think they’re going to last forever together”... it’s just that I liked... how it was handled? If that makes sense. Yeah, it was pretty simplistic, and I know some people say that it was out of nowhere and that the author didn’t even care to explain why it happened with that “sorry explanation”, but I really liked it.

I checked up the exact lines in my translation so i wouldn’t mess it up, lol, and here it is: “There wasn’t an interesting story behind it. People might ask why... or say what they would’ve done in our place... not understanding the little decisions we made. But... we decided to go our own ways... not to match the shapes set forth by others, but for our own shapes of happiness.” 

I love it. All the manga is a wholesome, pretty realistic (in my opinion) way to show the teenage years, the coming-on-age, the “have to take/make decisions that will affect your future” and the whole mess that is... feelings and the complexity of relationships. I like how, when Taichi is explaining it, he says that there isn’t something dramatic or big that lead to it. It probably was a bunch of things, and maybe the outcome wouldn’t be what other people would have done, but it was their decision, it was what made them happy. He makes it clear. I especially love it because:

1) It’s pretty normal. Relationships don’t always work. It doesn’t have to be because of something big, either. People change over time, take different decisions that, in consequence, lead to change in dynamics/relationships. That’s life. It’s always, constantly changing. I’m not the same person I was five years ago, and I doubt I will be exactly the same five years from now pn to the future. That doesn’t mean that if you’re in a relationship now and you both start changing that it won’t work, it’s just that sometimes it doesn’t. And that’s normal. It’s pretty simple but also real, in my opinion. He clearly states that other people probably wouldn’t understand the little decisions they made, but it happened. Which, again, realistic imo.

2) I love how he says “we decided to go our own ways, not to match the shapes set forth by others, but for our own shapes of happiness”. Why? Because it leads back to the repeated theme of the story of “what is your happiness right now”. Basically, I think the main topic/message by the end was how Taichi took the decisions--and how people in general irl make decisions--because that’s what made him happy in that moment. You don’t always know if you’re making the right decisions, but at the end of the day, you’re always chasing your happiness. So, I like how that theme played there as well. They took that decision to chase after their own shapes of happiness, not wanting to chase after what someone else think that would made them happy, but what they themselves thought that did.

I also love how he states that it wasn’t easy. Futaba was an important person in his life. She helped him change, she shaped a lot of who he was by the end of the time-skip, so of course it would be hard to break up. It wasn’t like she would die or something, but it was a big change. Even if it was a decision that was took for the best (at least for them), of course it was going to be hard for him, and I like that it was stated. I also love how Touma was the one who made them connect again, really an amazing touch and, again, one of the things I loved about Ao No Flag, and how the main love triangle wasn’t toxic at all. He knew both of them were important for the other, and I love that he was the one who helped them get in touch again. I also love how Touma was still in touch with Futaba and Masumi and that Futaba and Taichi reconnect again.

So all in all, I think Futaba and Taichi’s broke up was realistic. It’s true that just because you have a relationship in your teenage years it doesn’t have to end when you grow older, but a lot of times, it happens. That’s the complexity of liking/loving someone over the years and relationships/feelings in general. So I don’t think it was that out of place? As much as people like to complain, because, true, you usually have this endgame pairing at the end of the story and you, of course, assume everything is going to be happily ever after for them (or, like, as happy as it can get with its highs and lows) and they will stick together... this is also a realistic possiblity/outcome? It’s pretty uncommon in a story, and I understand that people thought that the manga took the route of focusing “way too much on Futaba/Taichi’s romantic development to just throw it by the end” but I don’t think the story itself was just that. The story, for me, was more than just Futaba and Taichi’s “romantic development”. And everything that happened, and how each other changed the other’s life was so meaningful for me even if they didn’t end up together. I love how they breaking up doesn’t change any of that.

Also, I don’t think Taichi’s romantic feelings for Touma were “our of nowhere”? OF COURSE, I would have loved to have a Taichi’s explicit realization of “oh, I love Touma like that” or “oh, he’s more than just a best friend for me/this is more than just platonic love”. But... Idk, this is probably just because I’m bi, so I’m probably biased (LOL), but I never thought of Taichi as other than bisexual? This is just my perspective, but I feel like there were hints everywhere in the manga that he felt strongly about Touma, and yeah, you can say that it was just platonic love, but even if he didn’t feel romantic feelings for him in his teenage years (which, I personally think he kind of had a crush on him when they were younger), he very well could have had developed them later. I know a lot of people irl that have known each other for years and never felt any slight romantic attraction to each other and then years later they started talking more, etc. and started liking each other. It can happen. More so if you’re already close? Of course I would have loved to have more explicit moments, but I feel like the author A) decided that Taichi would develop romantic attraction/feelings only later (in that time skip) or B) did want to include more but wasn’t allowed to because shounen genre. This is just my opinion, of course. But, yeah. I think it was already hard to make that ending happen (main reason of why I think it wasn’t THAT explicit either that it was Touma/Taichi and why the author didn’t show Touma’s face), and that they showed a lot of subtle moments of Taichi’s deep feelings respecting Touma around the story. I really, really, really, absolutely loved Taichi’s turmoil/conflict by the end after Touma confessed to him. Raw, realistic, emotional, deep... I love everything about it. I always cry like a baby when he reads the message inside the charm of “best friend power”, I tell you. I have that panel of him crying and smiling saved in my phone because I’m a fucking masochist aksdjlsdfjk. IT BREAKS ME. Everything about him breaking down, too, with that dream, throwing things in his room, EVERYTHING about his turmoil felt incredibly crude and real to me. Never ever fails to make me cry. And I really liked how he did thought a lot about his feelings and what he wanted and what Touma felt, instead of just going “no, I accept his feelings and I love him, but not in that way. Not like Futaba”. Of course, by the end (before the time-skip), that’s basically what he tells him, but I liked how it didn’t only went with that without showing all of Taichi’s inner conflict.

As a bonus, two more things about the final final chapter:

1) I’m assuming this, but I think I’m right, haha: I really, seriously love how the author knew the ending was going to be controversial and threw some lines that made it seem like (for me, at least) “I get it, most of you won’t get it but I’m fine with this ending myself”. With the whole “Friend or lover? Which will it be?” poster thing, Taichi’s comment about the ending like “the characters’ final decisions didn’t sit well with me”, the “oh, but then again... form someone’s else point of view, my decisions might also seem...” (ASJDLDSFJ it’s like the author is saying, ‘ahaha, yeah, ik, you might not get this, ik’, and I find it so incredibly endearing and satisfying and funny? I absolutely love it when authors make subtle mentions to their [probably] controversial/uncommon/or even cliché decisions in their own story).

2) I absolutely love the final panels of the chapters because they always manage to make me cry my eyes out? The simple but oh so realistic that I absolutely die for line of “life is a series of choices. Even if you pick, hoping for the best... You might hurt someone, or yourself, and regret it. And even if, you do gain happiness, you might be afraid of the next choice that comes, because you don’t want to lose it. Nevertheless, we continue to make choices forever. That’s why I pray that... the future that lies beyond this myriad of choices...” GAH, I LOVE IT. It’s so painfully real; and just... the underlying beauty of the hopeful open ending of the line, too? -- Also, the “hey, if it were you...” followed by the “haha, you’re so annoying!” panel of TAICHI SMILING AND LAUGHING SO FREAKING HAPPY, LIKE THAT’S EVERYTHING I WANTED FOR HIM, Y E AH. IT MAKES ME SO GODDAMN EMOTIONAL. AND TH EN, THE FOLLOWING PANELS, FUTABA BEING SO HAPPY WITH HER HUSBAND, MASUMI AND HER PARTNER, AGHHHHHHH, MY GODDAMN HEART, THEY’RE SO HAPPY AS WELL AND THAT’S EVERYTHING I NEEDED, AND AND AND THEIR CLASSMATES ALL HAPPY AND GOING ON WITH THEIR LIFES, AND THE FUCKING. ENDEARING, LOVELY DOMESTICY OF THAT LAST DIALOGUE OF TAICHI BEFORE THE “let’s go home”, thE FUCKI N G R I N G, I SCR E AMED (like i knew they were married, or i THOUGHT so before -- buT BU TT B UUU T AAAAAAAA), AND ALSO THAT PANEL OF TAICHI IS ONE OF THE BEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL, HEARTWARMING PANELS I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE?????????????????????????? The way he looks so goddamn SOFT and SO FOND and the way he’s just in the middle and focus on the panel, like it’s everything Touma sees, and and and just how HAPPY TAICHI LOOKS, and the way the hand kind of... “goes out” of the panel, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WHEN AUTHORS DO THAT IN IMPORTANT SCENES, AND THEN THE LINKED HANDS????????????????? BR O. I seriously was crying my eyes out. It was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful for me.

SO YEAH. All in all, I was satisfied! Of course, I would’ve loved more of Touma and Taichi’s explicit romantic development, and I understand that people felt the ending was rushed. But for me, the manga was more than just... couples and endgames, you know? The manga itself was so beautiful and wholesome and it had so many good points that the ending just felt like a beautiful closure and, at the same time, a hopeful, amazingly beautiful and touching opening for more of this heartwarming, real, so beautiful coming-of-age story. I think it matches with the tone of the rest of the manga of chasing your happiness and making the decisions that sit best for you and for what you want, even if others don’t understand. I think it matches with the theme of how complex and beautifully amazing relationships and feelings are. I think it suits with the beauty of the manga in general.

And in conclusion, I’m going to show you a pic of this comment on reddit (of a discussion of the ending) that pretty much sums up what I think and said in this:

[statistically-romantic]

210913

For some (indeed stupid) reasons, I deleted my Obsidian, along with its database and around 7 or 9 entries. So, here I am, using something web-based, and I hope I won't lose it anytime soon.

Every day, whenever I wake up, I always ask myself:

How do you feel? Like, right now, right this moment?

What did you do last night? Did it affect your current mood?

Did you have any (un)pleasant dreams? What was it about? (of course, if you can recall it)

I find myself relieved when there are still answers to such questions. Because if there is none, then I'm completely numb. That's how I lived for the last 6 weeks, all working from home. Only two weeks after it, I realized I was in a depression. Nobody ever realized it, even myself. Let's not talk about how tough it is. We all know what depression can do to an adult with a fairly strong mentality (hint: it does wreak havoc on their physical and mental health). I'm still on my way to recover from the deep shit.

And somehow, on the journey, I learned to appreciate my feeling, or to be exact, the ability to feel or sympathize with someone.

I was a rather imaginative child who always daydreams - that was how my mom described younger me. "She reads all the time. She doesn't like going out. Sometimes she can be all bubbly and child-like. Other time she will stare at the sky for hours." My imagination kept me afloat; books were my friends. On the far sky, there might be a small boat with Doraemon and his gang on a cloud over there, or Stas and Nel with two African slaves passing the scorching desert looking for their way home.

Growing up, the vivid imagination turned into sympathy. I cried on the part when Rémi could not say goodbye to his kind foster mother. My parents did not like it; me being dreamy and clumsy at the same time angered them even further. It was tough thinking about those days again. So, as soon as I can remember, I learned how to suppress my emotion. I still read as it's still my main hobby. But it gets harder and harder to read fiction or anything that requires imagination. I was frustrated. Those sentences were no longer meaningful or tear-triggering - my hobby soon turned into a burden. Then, non-fiction stepped in and became the obvious choice for a growing young adult trying to figure out life and herself.

Time flies. The once edgy teenager now turned into a cinnamon bachelor (*).

--------------

Like how I felt with books, there is a quite similar feeling that I can't seem to grasp these days. The last time I truly experienced it was 2016, maybe? It's the fluttering feeling in your stomach when you feel certain chemistry towards your love interest.

I enjoy it. And at the same time, not at all. He came into my life suddenly. My first impression of him was:

"Oh, so he is the same age as me. Not interested."

"Who the hell would find a language exchange partner on Tinder? Lame. But hey, he knows English and French, so this might be good."

"Better make it quick, or he might leave soon."

...

It turned out I was wrong. Dead wrong.

Surprisingly, we shared some interests. My inner edgy rock fan kid was brought out, and she was excited as hell. We share a playlist on Spotify and gradually add our little pieces of discovery. It can be a jazzy tune, an old Coldplay piece, or something as ancient as Bob Dylan. In the context of "practice our speaking skills," we talked about various things—books, movies, family, how we feel about our own achievement, and stuff. Our conversations turned into deep talk at night, lasted until late, and left each of us (or just me) exhausted yet longing for more. Sometimes it doesn't have to be a long talk; even a listen-together session will suffice. Our pieces were put into the queue, and no one talked to each other. Just listened.

Compared to all the extravagant and adventures I went through, this is nothing. I truly enjoyed it, wasn't aware of how much I longed for something so simple. It turned out, the only thing I ever want is (kind of) mental intimacy. And somehow, I'm craving even more.

I'm the kind of person who will make half of my decision on an impulse. Because I can't stand telling myself, "what if." What if I do this? What if I don't? Would it be better or worse? I would rather do it to see the consequences than keep all the questions and regrets to myself. However, this time I can't bring myself to do that. Ironically, "what if" was brought to the table again, despite how much I hate it. What if he doesn't feel the same? What if I creep him out? Even when I know this bubbly feeling won't last long, my heart can't stand losing it.

I wish this lockdown situation begone soon so that I can see him and my own feeling. I wish this were just a phase, so my heart could calm itself down. I wish, as soon as I see him, I will realize it's just me being in a crush, so this can end faster. My heart will also see how foolish it is to swoon over someone it never met. At the same time, I want to call him, and ask "Hey, how was your day? was it tough? It's Monday, so there must be a flood of patients, right? Please take care of yourself, alright? Don't be the preacher who doesn't practice what they preach.". Then he will laugh his heart out on the other side and leave me speechless with my clever remarks - which got him to call me cheeky.

Pandemic is terrible. So is love.

[billyspotato]

Can I request an imagine with Billy where the reader is a sweet girl that accidentally flirts with and compliments everyone,(girls+guys). And like, she likes billy a lot so he thinks she’s wrapped around his finger, but then sees her flirting with Steve or someone and he realizes he likes her more than he thought? Sorry it’s a long ask. I love your writing!! 💖💖💖

Sweet - Billy Hargrove

[Requested] - Thank you for liking my stuff.

Words: 2.356 words

Type: Fluff 

Summary: What’s written on the request

Warning: English is not my first language. Sorry if I misspelled something.

A/N: Gif’s not mine

You walk out of your classroom and try to make your way to your locker without being shoved or shoving anyone out of your way.  You open your locker before getting all your books inside of it and you sigh of relief as the weight of the books is finally off of your shoulders.

“Hey Y/N” A girl says as she approaches you, “I wanted to ask you if you would like to hang out with us this weekend?” She asks while pointing at her friends.

“I would love to, but I’m helping some people from my Math class with next week’s test” You say as you grab your lunch, and she gives you a small smile. “Sorry”

“Oh, It’s alright. We can always hang out another time”

“Yeah, of course” You say while closing your locker’s door.

The girl walks away after giving you a small smile and you look around the hallway. Almost everyone has gone to the cafeteria.

In Hawkins High, you have the king of the school, the one who everyone hates, the one everyone loves and the other cliché titles. You fit in the ‘the one everyone loves’ since you were never seen being rude to anyone, even the ones who deserve it.

You are always sweet with everyone and you try your best to help who asks for it.

When it comes to the king of school, it’s complicated. The past king, Steve Harrington himself, is now a friend of yours, even though you only talk in some classes or out of school. But the actual king of school, Billy Hargrove, is the one who makes your heart skip a beat when he looks at you, your hands sweat when he asks for your notes in class, and makes your anxiety is insanely high, when you have a longer conversation then 2 sentences.

It is no doubt that you have a huge crush on Billy. It’s no surprise to you or to Billy, who as noticed the way you act when you’re with him, making his ego increase.

You and Billy don’t really talk that much but when you do, it usually is about school or about future basketball games.

What you don’t know is when you are talking to someone else or helping someone else, Billy’s eyes are always on you, trying to read your lips to try and know what you’re telling the other person. Once he’s caught by anyone in his friend group, he would just say that you were looking at him as well.

In Billy’s friend group rumors started: The nicest person in school has a crush on Billy Hargrove. How is that possible?

After walking to the cafeteria, you sigh at the sight of the filled tables. You walk while looking for an empty seat and you finally found a table, which is completely empty.

This seat is pretty isolated from everyone else, but you couldn’t care less. You were planning on doing your homework, so the more isolated, the better.

You take your lunch out of your bag and as well as the book that you’ve been reading this past week.  As you read and ate your sandwich, Billy stays seated on the center table looking at you.

Baby blue eyes glued on you, watching your every move.

“Hey, do you think she could make my English homework?” Tommy’s voice sounds, waking Billy up from his thoughts.

“Who?” Billy asks with a confused look.

“Y/N…? Is that her name?” Tommy asks.

“Why would she do your homework?” Billy asks, not caring how aggressive he sounded.

“Come on, she would do anything for you to look in her direction” Tommy says, and Billy rolls his eyes chuckling.

“Stop being a lazy bitch and do your own homework” Carol tells Tommy as she catches what they’re talking about.

As the group of friends laughed and talked about you, you were totally focused on your book since you already finished your lunch.

Some guy starts walking to your table and Billy’s eyes lift to you once again. As you notice that someone is standing right in front of you, you look up and give the guy a smile.

“Hi, do you need anything?” You ask with your bright smile.

“Yeah, all of us” He starts as he points at his table, where his friends gave you a small wave or smile, “we’re doing our science homework. Do you think you can help us in this question?” He asks as he gives you his science book.

You take it from his hands and read the question that he pointed. You look away to think for a second and start looking through the previous pages.

“I’m pretty sure the answer is in this page.” You answer, putting the book down on the table to show him, “I don’t really know the exact answer, but it might be here”

The guy looked over at his book and checks what page it is.

“Thank you so much” He tells you with a smile.

“You’re so welcome. By the way, I love what you did with your hair” You say commenting the guy’s new look.

“Oh, you noticed?” He says running his fingers through his hair.

“Of course, I did.” You say while looking up at the new straight hair, hiding his natural curls, but achieving the look he surely wanted.

“Thank you” He says with a genuine smile while walking back to his table.

You smile at him once again and you look back at the book on your table, sighing as slowly closing it.

You really need to do your homework.

You grab your notebook from your backpack, and you get up to throw away the trash from your lunch.

Billy’s eyes come back to you after glaring for some time to the guy who just talked to you. Billy’s eyes run through your body as you throw everything away.

He looks back to the guy that previously walked to your table and he notices that he’s showing something to his friends on his science book while pointing at you with his pen. Billy concentrates on what he is saying, and he got: ‘she said the answer is somewhere…’.

An imaginary lightbulb lights up over Billy’s head and he gets a new idea to grab your attention. He isn’t understanding why he feels such need for you to give him attention, but he isn’t concerned about whatever it is, he just wants it.

Billy grabs his math notebook quickly and opens it to check if he has any homework and the universe is on his side.

“I’ll be right back” Billy tells Tommy, who is dramatically sighing at his English homework.

“Ok, ok” He says not even looking at Billy.

Billy gets up from his chair and starts making his way to your table. He doesn’t wait for you to look up at him and just sits right in front of you, catching your attention.

“Hey” Billy says with a small smile and you try your best to not freak out.

“Hi” You ask with a tone of confusion.

Billy opens his Math notebook and you look at his every move.

“Can you help with this?” Billy asks and you turn his notebook around to read it.

“I’m actually doing it right now, so if you want the answers. It might take a while” You tell him, and he shakes his head.

“I don’t need the answers, I just need the explanation” Billy says, and you smile at him.

“Ok” You say while nodding.

You explain to him how to do the first question and Billy listens to your every word and looks at you in the eyes. Even though he doesn’t need any help, his plan is working.

As Billy does what you just told him. You continue doing the question you were doing previously.

You try to breathe slowly and calm down your heart, since it’s not everyday that your crush sits down in front of you in lunch, even if it’s just for homework.

You two stay silent as Billy looks up from his notebook a few times to look at you. You noticed but decided to not say or do anything.

After helping Billy with the other 6 questions, he decided that it was time for him to go back to his group. You didn’t really care since you deep down knew that he was only giving you any type of attention because he needs help with his homework.

Once you finished your own homework, you shoved your things back on your backpack and left the cafeteria.

You walk back to your locker and you get the book that you’ll need for this next class. You check your watch and the class is in 10 minutes.

Being early won’t hurt anyone.

You walk in your classroom and you can’t help but say that you’re surprise to see Steve already seated down on his usual seat.

“Hey” You tell him, and he looks up from his notebook to you.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Not much. Didn’t see you in the cafeteria” You comment as you sat on the table next to him.

“Yeah, I decided to go eat at the diner.”

“Thanks for inviting me” You say with a not so serious tone.

“Yeah, I know… I just- I-” Steve struggles as he tries to get a good excuse. “I forgot, I’m sorry”

“Don’t worry about it” You say with a smile, “I was just joking”

“Were you really?” Steve asks as he leans back on his chair, “Or you’re just hiding how you are just dying to get some alone time with me” He says wiggling his eyebrows.

You and Steve try to hold your laughter for a bit, but it didn’t really work.

“You know I can’t resist-” You say as you try to keep the conversation going but almost falling into laughter, “that head full of hair”

Steve laughs with you and as you see people walking in the classroom, you jump out of your seat as Steve continues to smile your way.

You take a seat in your usual table and once you look in Steve’s direction, he winks at you and you laugh while shaking your head.

What you didn’t notice was that Billy walked in the room right in that second, and that moment with no context, can foul anyone into thinking that you are giggling away like a teenager in love.

Billy walks to his seat, which is 2 tables behind you, and continues to send glares at Steve, even though he’s just really sending a glare to the back of his head.

(…)

The class is almost ending, and Billy’s fist has been clenched the whole class and his eyes didn’t leave you or Steve.

You two continued your joke while in class, and nobody noticed but him.

Everyone gets up and starts leaving the room, while you put everything in your bag, taking your sweet time. You stand up and Steve looks over his shoulder at you.

“Do you need a drive, today?” He asks and you shake your head.

“My mom’s picking me up” You lie at him.

“Oh, okay. See you tomorrow, then?” He asks and you nod.

“Yeah” You say with a smile.

Steve walks out of the room and you walk out a little bit later. You get out of the school building and act like you’re waiting for someone to appear in the parking lot, as you really just waited for Steve to drive away.

You lean back on the wall next to the front door and sigh while looking at the ground.

“Hey, Y/N” Billy says as he appears right next to you, “Can we talk for a second?”

“Sure” You say, “Is everything okay?” You ask as you notice his look for distress.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just wanted to ask you something”

“Go ahead” You say as you hugged your books close to your chest.

“Are you and Harrington a thing?” He asks and you look at him for a second before starting to laugh, making him feel even more confused.

“God no” You say after some good giggles later, “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious. It looked just looked like you had ‘something’ in Math class”

“Since when is Billy Hargrove ‘just curious’ about anyone’s possible relationship?” You ask lifting your eyebrows.

Billy stays silent after your question and you can’t help but smile.

“Was that the only think you wanted to ask me?” You ask tilting your head to the side.

“Yeah” Billy says walking away slowly from you, his thoughts swallowing him slowly.

‘You need to at least ask her’. The little voice told him, and he inhaled as much as he could while he thought for some good seconds.

The need of grabbing your attention, the need to keep his eyes on you and the anger that boiled in him as anyone was too sweet or too flirty with you can only mean one thing. One thing that Billy hates to admit.

He likes you back.

“Actually” He says after exhaling the breath he held for so long, turning back around and walking back to you.

“Yeah?” You ask him and he smiles as his heart speeds up.

“Would you like to go out this Friday?” Billy asks you and your eyes widen.

“Go out? You sure?” You ask him and he nods. “Like-”

“Like a date, yeah” Billy says while nodding.

Your silence after his sentence was painful for Billy, it’s like you stopped time, making everything even more painful for him.

It obviously wasn’t on purpose, you were just screaming inside, yelling ‘thank you Jesus’ while keeping a straight face on the outside.

“I would love to” You say, and Billy finally exhales, relaxing his tense shoulders.

“Is 8pm okay?” He asks and you nod with a small smile. “Do you need a ride home, by the way?”

Your eyes go to the now empty parking lot before your eyes could meet Billy’s once again.

“Yeah, I kinda do” You say and Billy smiles.

- - - -

🌸✨Sorry, but I’m not writing in this account anymore. Go check out my new one @twinklelilstarkey✨🌸

[sugaredge]

I miss Frances and Isaiah, they were so cute.

i have conflicted emotions. i was never fond of him when they were together quite honestly, when the news broke they got married i knew it would end how it did, though i hoped it wouldn't. he started dating her when she was underage and he had a whole child. a one year old baby. plus he says frances was the one who proposed and being older (especially with a baby at home) he should've known better. it seemed like he got his in, plus frances was 19 when they were engaged, she was far too young to be a step mother, and after they were married she tweeted she wasnt having kids for many years as she still felt one herself. when they divorced he demanded so much in spousal support and when he didn't get that or the house he kept her dad's guitar to auction off. he caused the family hell.

it's unusual, he dyed his hair the same exact colours as kurt (bright red and light purple) and kept his hair and outfits similar to his. it's much more unsettling looking back. plus ever single tour he was on was through frances' connections (gerard way, frank iero, smashing pumpkins, the used). on his old facebook he admitted his clothes were stolen from goodwill or frances. though he was said to have surprised frances with all these wonderful gifts, it's clear he paid for them all with her trust fund, then claimed she spent too much (though she kinda did, but he also did). everything seemed opportunistic.

however i was on the eeries twitter the other day (it's still up), and isaiah tweeted on there. it's a rare glimpse into his personality, a little goofy with social commentary on misogyny and violence in media. he seemed like a well likeable guy. moreover it's clear he and frances had a lot in common in terms of music, movies, books, comics, tv shows and art. and her friends liked him (though i guess they had too, with the exception of courtney, who despite trying to have a relationship with him was always weary of him). he supported her education, art and music. and photos of them are very sweet. she was very clearly in love. but he turned very bitter with the divorce. if he truly respected her, and if he actually loved her he wouldn't have tried milking her for money. i know he has a child to support but he also has another parent to raise her with, as well as his family, ultimately his kid is his responsibility. he never needed money from her. he never needed to paint her as a crazy rich kid drug addict hoarder that he did everything he could to save. however his attempts to slander her name was shortlived as his refusal to return kurt's guitar made him the most hated guy in america, the eeries twitter was flooded with comments under every post telling him how horrible he is and to return the guitar. i dont think he could go many places without being harrassed by a nirvana fan anymore. he totally screwed himself all for money.

looking back at pics, old facebook exchanges, if you're in the moment it's very cute lovebirds sharing their life together. my old laptop died and i cannot anywhere find the pics of isaiah and frances making forts in their room to stay and read in, things like that are so cute (sometimes i do wonder who was thirdwheeling taking all these pics of them kissing, or in their house or at family gatherings together). but adding any kind of context, rationality or hindsight, it seems totally predatory to me. he didnt even wait for her to be of age he got his talons in right away. it's creepy. eerie is a fitting band name. if he was smart (and if his band was any good) he should've committed to growing his band and having a quiet divorce when frances filed, then maybe he wouldn't be so disliked.

i also often think of how different frances was with him. though she's a very goofy and affectionate person, her twitter made her seem rather misanthropic, then she had a transitional period of indulging in herself, her own interests and building a life outside of him, before dating matt and becoming much more 'wholesome', approachable and having this aura of bubbly, loving energy, she seemed so much more youthful. she's since closed her life off, disabled tagging, disabled comments, deleted social media accounts, no longer opening herself up to the world, which i do respect, though it means i have to post a lot of old content to keep this blog afloat.

isaiah being older perhaps she had to appear much more wiser, mature and standoffish, though it's partially youthful angst, there was this need to prove herself, and she isolated herself so much from everyone else. it seemed to hinder her growth. i also think being a teenager around older couples in their 30s who met their 'soulmate' and had these great romantic stories, of which frances had even tweeted about (gerard and lindsey and the al columbia comic), added to this fantasy that this guy she met at 17 was the love of her life and she had to marry him. i think her friends were good people and trusted her decisions but perhaps they should've told her to slowdown a little.

i think photos of isaiah and frances were cute, and frances gushing over someone she loved was cute. wanting to share that love with the world was cute. i think the situation and how it started and ended, wasn't. it was a naive love. and i'm sorry she has been so troubled because of it. her music seems to be about him. i wonder if those older tracks make the album or if she completely chooses to leave him in the past.

[alex-musicals-tss]

Lin-Manuel Miranda Taking A Break From Twitter

Congratulations.

 That’s all I can say to you. That’s all I can say to the people who have bullied Lin-Manuel Miranda so much that he’s now taking a break from Twitter.

All I can ask myself is why. Why would people do this? Here’s what I found on the matter and here’s what I think of it.

 The first thing is about him… biting his lip? Seriously?! Everyone has a pose! Some people stick out their tongue. Others use their hand to make the peace sign. They don’t get hate for that! Why? Because it’s just a pose for a selfie! It’s not like it’s hurting anyone. Lin biting his lip is the exact same thing. If that’s how he wants to look when he takes selfies then go for it! If he likes it then go for it! It’s his life and it’s his photos! If you don’t like it then okay. That’s completely fine. Not everyone can like something someone does. But you don’t have to bully him for it! If you’re scrolling through Instagram and you see someone doing something you don’t like, then keep scrolling. If you see a tweet of someone doing something you don’t like, then move along! See? It’s not so hard. There is no need to be rude about it! Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. How would you like it if you get constant hate for just adding a pose to your selfie? See? It’s not a great feeling! And you’re causing someone to feel this way for something so harmless. He’s not hurting anybody!

“It works for me, and I'm people. Everyone has tics and poses and gestures that are very "them," and this is one of his. If it doesn't work for you that's OK. Don't marry him! But, also, please don't shame him. He's people, too.”

This was a tweet written by Vanessa A M Nadal based on this matter and she is completely right! As I said before, it’s completely fine if you don’t like something Miranda does. It’s natural not to like something. But cyber bullying him for it is seriously not okay. “He’s people, too.” Stood out to me in the tweet because this is something people forget often with celebrities. No matter how famous someone is, no matter how rich they are, no matter how much power they have, they are still human. They still have a right to be respected for who they are. They’re not just some machine used to entertain people. They’re not just an object with no feelings. They’re human! They’re people! At the end of the day, Lin is a person too.

 The second reason why people are bullying Lin is because he said the n-word. At first glance, this does seem like a horrible thing for someone to do as we all know the history of that word. As he is not a black person, he shouldn’t be saying it as it’s extremely offensive.

“It’s so hard not to say n***a at the end of this sentence. I’m fighting muscle memory!” was what Miranda was found saying. However, people have taken out the context of this quote to make it seem like Lin was saying it just to be racist when in reality, he wasn’t! This quote was originally said by Daveed Diggs; as he is a black person, he is allowed to say it as it’s not racist for him to do so. What Miranda was doing was he was quoting something said by Diggs for an audiobook! There is no way this was used to be racist or offensive.

As we all know, that word is a slur towards people of colour. I’m not going to get too much into the meaning behind the word but the reason this word is racist is because it carries the history of racial discrimination towards black people. As I am a white person, it’d be very offensive and racist for me to call someone the n-word! I do not plan on doing so either. But there is a difference to saying it in a racist term or saying it in a way which isn’t racist. Many people are making it seem like Lin said the word just for his own pleasure and if he did then that would certainly be racist. However, it’s perfectly okay to say the word if you’re quoting it as quoting something is very different to saying it.

Some people have been attacking Miranda for still saying the word even though it was blanked out, like how I wrote it earlier on. But I understand why Lin still said it. As it was written like “n***a”, you can still tell what word it meant to be. If he just left it out in the audiobook, it would be confusing to hear as the quote would be changed to: “It’s so hard not to say at the end of this sentence.” And as he’s stating a quote, you can’t really change it otherwise it’s not the exact quote which is meant to be said. I understand that some people may not be comfortable with that word being read aloud but the easy thing to do is just not listen to the audio! It’s honestly that simple. And certainly do not alter the truth just to spread hate to a man who is still human!  

 Another reason why he’s getting hate and which also comes down under the category of him being “racist” is because of the well-known musical he wrote which is Hamilton. It’s recently been added to Disney+ which I am really happy about! I thought that all things would be positive about this but clearly, I had a bit too much faith in humanity. Instead of people enjoying the awesome show and learning things they may have not known about the Founding Father and first Secretary of Treasury, people have created #cancelhamilton. I was so confused at first how there was anything wrong with the musical. I read a few posts on Instagram and instantly hated the tag as it is honestly so stupid.

One of the reasons why people say it’s racist is because of how little the show talks about slavery. Um, what? This is a musical! Yes, it’s educational. I personally learnt a lot from it as I didn’t even know a guy named Alexander Hamilton existed until I heard the soundtrack. But the thing is, this isn’t a documentary. The musical recording was two hours and forty minutes long with a one-minute intermission which is a reasonable amount of time for a show! You can’t overdo the length of something which is why there are many cut songs in Hamilton such as Let It Go or Dear Theodosia Reprise. And the thing is, there is a cut song which is about slavery! As the show is based in the lifetime of a man who lived for 44 years, some songs were going to have to get taken out. Sadly, this song was one of them but I agree with Lin’s choice as the ending of the song was that Hamilton’s plan didn’t go through so it didn’t add any affect of his life. The song was called Cabinet Battle 3 and the demo track, sung by Miranda himself, was released on The Hamilton Mixtape. I think it’s a great song as it covers the topic of slavery really well. Unlike the first two cabinet battles, this version isn’t all fun and rap. The music is slower and more serious.

“Sir, even you, you have hundreds of slaves” was said by Alexander Hamilton to George Washington, showing that even Washington was a slave owner. And by saying “even you”, it suggests that there are many slave owners too just Washington would seem less likely to own them. So, why would Miranda take out a song about something so serious? As I said before, the musical was already almost three hours long. The show had to end at some point! The song ends with Washington saying, “Madison, execute your plan to the letter. Let's hope the next generation thinks of something better.” James Madison’s plan was to end the discussion of freeing the slaves. As his plan was accepted and not Hamilton’s, that point wasn’t as important in the musical as the other songs were.

Another reason why people say it’s racist is because, wait for it, slavery is involved! The complete opposite to the previous reason. The way slavery is involved in the musical is all down to the Founding Fathers. Most of them had slaves! I’m pretty sure Hamilton, himself, didn’t own any. However, I heard that he gifted a slave to Angelica Schuyler but I’m not to sure if that point is true. The issue is, almost all the wealthy people in those days had slaves. The slave trade is a huge part in history and no matter how hard you try, you can’t run away from it. You can’t change the past! We need to stop running away from the past of slavery and accept it! It was horrible, yes. I remember learning it in school and I found it so shocking the way human beings were treated just because they were black. But no matter how much we hate it, no matter how disgusted we are by it, it still happened. Are you honestly saying that we’re just not going to learn about anything in the past because the people in those days had slaves? I’m sorry but that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! Hamilton is fun to watch and is also educational. It teaches teenagers about some of the Founding Fathers, soldiers, and even a little about women’s rights in those days. I think it’s great!

The final point I managed to find is that people are mad about both the fact that Lin included Sally Hemmings and the fact that he didn’t include her enough. Again, two completely opposite points! This shows how ridiculous this is getting because no matter what Miranda does, he won’t be able to “get it right” and that is no way his fault. Stop being so picky about it! Now, let me get on to the point about Sally. The only time she appears in the musical is during the song, What’d I Miss?

“Sally, be a lamb darling, won’t ya open it?” was said by Thomas Jefferson to one of the ensemble members, who in this case is Sally Hemmings. The truth is, Sally was one of his slaves. I think it’s reasonable to add her name into it as it gives her a little bit of recognition. I understand why people could feel slightly uncomfortable with her name being said but the thing is, this isn’t your musical. You didn’t spend six years writing lyrics for the show so please don’t tell Lin what he can and not include! And I do understand the situation with Sally and I’m not trying to sound careless about what happened to her. She was only fourteen and he did awful stuff to her which I’m not even going to go into because it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable talking about it and I’m sure you won’t want to read it. However, if you’re a part of the Hamilton fandom you’ve probably heard of her story already. If you haven’t and you do want to know more about her, you can always search up “Sally Hemmings” and I’m sure it’ll explain there.

For the people saying that her story should’ve been told in the musical, I completely disagree and I’m actually shocked that people even used that as an excuse on why Hamilton is racist! I’m sorry I think I missed the part when the show was called “Jefferson: An American Musical”. This is a performance about the life of the Founding Father, Alexander Hamilton, Washington’s right-hand man, and the first Secretary of Treasury. Not the Founding Father, Thomas Jefferson, the first Secretary of State, the second Vice President, and the third President of America! Sally Hemmings meant nothing to Hamilton. They never even met. I’m surprised if he even knew of her existence! I know that in Cabinet Battle 3, he says “How will Thomas Jefferson find his next mistresses?” which he was implying by Sally, but that doesn’t mean that he knew about her in real life. And even if he did, she didn’t affect him in any way so there is no point of including her anymore in the musical.

Hamilton seriously isn’t racist at all. In fact, it’s one of the least racist things I’ve seen! The Founding Fathers were all white. If one of the Founding Fathers were black, they wouldn’t even been given that title. They would most likely be a slave because that’s how life was back then. Miranda could’ve easily said, “I won’t be including people of colour because I want the musical to be historically accurate.” But he didn’t! Half of the cast are people of colour because they were good enough for the role they played. Lin didn’t take away that opportunity just so the musical would be more accurate to history! I think that’s great and the actors did such a good job too.

 The final point which is quite short because I don’t know much about this but there is a sound on TikTok where Miranda is talking about some sexual stuff. I don’t know what he was saying it for but I read up somewhere that it was for an audiobook! I don’t know which one though. I mean, it’s pretty obvious that he was reading something, just by the wording and the way he was saying it. Those type of things isn’t something you just record yourself saying! Again, I don’t see why people are taking out the context for things Lin is reading in audiobooks? I think it’s perfectly fine for Miranda to say those things as he was reading a story. People have complained about the fact that the sound disturbed them; I wasn’t that comfortable listening to it myself! But you have to understand that it’s not Lin-Manuel Miranda’s fault that someone posted it on TikTok. Whatever he was reading would have an age rating and reviews so you wouldn’t accidentally come across something like that. Listening someone talking about sex make me feel slightly disturbed but I understand that Lin was doing his job by reading it and it’s not his fault that someone thought it’d be funny to add the sound onto TikTok!

 We need to stop focusing on the things Lin-Manuel Miranda has done which you don’t like and focus on the positive things about him. Like, the fact that he wrote a two hours and forty-minute musical, which is just nonstop songs, about someone’s life is just incredible and inspiring to me! And the way he acted in all the songs were so great! He also told Justin Laboy’s story in 21 Chump Street in the space of five songs. His acting in Mary Poppins Returns was just amazing and it was clear that he enjoyed every second of filming it! And I loved the songs from Moana since I first saw it and when I found out that Miranda wrote the songs, I was so surprised that Lin wrote songs for another thing I enjoyed to watch! He’s definitely one of my idols.

We need to stop focusing on people’s “flaws” and pay more attention to the positive things about them. Especially with celebrities! Like I said before, they are still human with real emotions. They can still get hurt. When Miranda said that he was taking a break from Twitter, I was so upset that people have pushed him this far over the edge 2! He may not be leaving because of the horrible posts people have been making but I won’t be surprised if it is. I saw a reply on Lin’s tweet saying “WE’RE BULLYING THIS MAN OFF THE INTERNET LMAOOOOO” with a video of edits people made with Miranda biting his lip. But actually, it isn’t funny at all. With cyber bullying, you only hear about it with teenagers. You never hear about it with adults! But that’s what it is. This is what all of this is. Anybody who is attacking Lin-Manuel Miranda for the points I mentioned and are making the memes and edits, you’re actually bullying him. You may think that they’re just harmless jokes, but clearly, they’re not! I know that’s not something you hear normally about an adult getting bullied but it’s true. And I feel so sorry for him because some of it is because of a show he spent six years of his life making! He deserves to get praised for it – not attacked!

 And if there is a slight chance, you’re somehow reading this, Lin, I just want to say that you have been so responsible with this matter. You could’ve easily snapped and had a go at the people doing this but you didn’t. Instead, you’re walking away from the situation until it’s settled down. You’re such a huge inspiration with everything you do! I really hope things get better for you very soon.

 And to all the people out there attacking Lin-Manuel Miranda to the point that he has to take a break from Twitter? All I can say to you is “Congratulations”. I hope you’re proud of yourselves for being so horrible to someone who’s dedicated years of his life for the entertainment of others.

 Congratulations.

[kookitykook]

Seven Soulmarks: Yoongi (“I’ve never actually listened to Kanye West.”)

~genre: soulmate au, fluff, sfw

~word count: 4.5k 

~warnings: none this is v cute  

~pairing: record store owner!yoongi x y/n (there are also features from a few of the other soulmates, try and spot them heh heh) 

~summary: At the exact moment of your twentieth birthday, the first words your soulmate will ever say to you appear in black ink on the inside of your left wrist. Seven boys meeting their soulmates shows once again how the universe knows exactly what it’s doing. 

See how the other boys meet their soulmates (all interconnected) 

Jungkook -- Taehyung -- Jimin -- Namjoon -- Hoseok -- Jin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Min Yoongi considered himself a simple kind of man. 

He was fortunate and grew up in a loving family, he had a few close friends that he could always depend on, and he loved music. 

Yoongi enjoyed simplicity. He didn’t mind spontaneity or partying in other people, but that lifestyle just didn’t interest him. 

For his entire life all Yoongi dreamed about was opening up his own music shop. A place where people could come and find any sort of music that touched their soul. 

That was his dream. Simple, to the point, and attainable. 

So by the time his twentieth birthday had rolled around, Yoongi had worked tons of part time and random side jobs for five years and saved every single penny, and was able to buy the space. He was still in university, still a teenager, but he’d been smart enough and worked hard enough to make wise choices to realize his dream. 

And all that hard work was finally paying off. 

“Alright Mr. Min, here are the keys,” said the realtor of the empty space that would soon be Yoongi’s store. “Congratulations on your new property!”

Yoongi thanked the realtor, walking her out to the door and seeing her out. He turned back to look at his family and friends who had joined him for the occasion. 

He held up the keys to his store and grinned. “I did it.”

His mother squealed, rushing forward and hugging him tightly around the neck. The others that had amassed followed suit, his father and brother embracing him tightly, some of his buddies from high school, and his new friend from university that was just a year younger than him that he had met at the tiny on-campus record store (she’d been buying a Jonas Brothers album and he’d only slightly been judging her). 

“I’m proud of you, son,” his father said sincerely.

“Oh my boy is so grown up,” his mother added, hugging him for what felt like the millionth time. 

Yoongi just chuckled, returning the embrace tightly. “I wouldn’t be here without you all. Thank you.” He bowed deeply. 

“It’s a big day for you Yoongs,” his university friend said as she jumped up on the counter behind her. “It’s your birthday, the day you buy your shop, and your soulmark should be appearing any second.”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes, making his friend laugh. He had been hoping to avoid the topic of his soulmark in front of his parents, something she knew quite well. He needed to keep this in mind for whenever she got her soulmark.

“Oh, yes!” his mother squealed, checking the time. “You were born around 12:14. Oh, I can’t wait to meet my boy’s soulmate.” 

Yoongi scrunched his nose as his mother pinched his cheeks. “The mark doesn’t tell me when I’m going to meet her, Eomma.”

“Yes but still!”

“It should be showing up now,” his brother remarked casually. 

“Oh, let me look!”

Yoongi just sighed as his mother took his left hand and held the inside of his wrist up to her face. She cocked her head to the side in confusion. 

“Who’s Kanye West?” she asked innocently, mispronouncing the rapper’s first name. 

Yoongi’s friends and brother burst out laughing.

“Aw Yoongs, don’t tell me you’re stealing Kim’s man!” his friend shouted, leaning against his brother as she cackled. 

“Shut up,” he muttered, pulling his hand away and looking at the mark himself. 

There is black ink was his mark, the first words his soulmate would ever say to him. 

‘I’ve actually never listened to Kanye West.’

Well. That was … surprising. 

At his friends urging, Yoongi repeated the words. 

“Who hasn’t listened to Kanye West?” his brother mused. “Seriously, does your soulmate live under a rock or something?”

“Well at least we know you two will have to work on finding common ground,” his friend cut in. 

It was well known that Yoongi’s favorite artist was Kanye. Strange that his soulmate would have never listened to him. 

Yoongi just shrugged. “That’s fine. I can introduce her to him. She can introduce me to her interests, too.”

His friends and brother ‘awwww’ed. 

“Ack, shut up.”

***

You considered yourself a simple kind of girl. 

You were raised by a single mother, but your childhood had been filled with joy. You enjoyed fashion, had a soft heart for all animals, and you loved music. 

You had only been six years old when your mother enrolled you in a piano class, and even though you cried terribly when she left you at the strange new place for an hour, by the time the first class was over you were asking if you could come back the next day. 

That was the first time you discovered that music ran through your veins. Emotions that your six-year old brain didn’t know how to process yet suddenly made more sense when you heard that emotion being played on the piano or sang in the most beautiful way. 

Music became your life, and your mother did everything in her power to give you opportunities to pursue your dream. When you entered high school you were gifted a scholarship to attend an arts conservatory, which is where your talent really started to reach new heights. 

Soon you were being scouted for various university music programs and you even received a few invitations to join symphonies around the country. 

The world was your oyster, anywhere you wanted to with the piano, you could have gone. 

But … you were a simple kind of girl. 

Sure, traveling the world and playing alongside some of the biggest names in the music world would be great, but it just wasn’t for you. 

You didn’t want to move away from your mother. You didn’t need fame or recognition. 

All you wanted was to be with those you loved, play the piano, and share your love of music with others. 

So that’s what you did. You respectfully turned down all the wonderful offers that had been sent your way, hoping and praying that the opportunities would go to people who craved and deserved them more than you. 

After graduation you enrolled in a small online university where you earned your Associate’s Degree in business relatively quickly. You moved out of your mother’s house to an apartment complex near to her, but not so near that you didn’t have that sense of independence you wanted. And you started to teach. 

You never would have guessed that teaching piano would have brought you such fulfillment, but it turned out to be one of the greatest sources of joy in your life. 

Sure, there were kids who hated the instrument and were just there because their parents made them, but there were also the children who you saw so much of yourself in. You saw the joy and the emotional realizations on their faces as they played, the excitement when the notes started to click in their minds. 

It was one of the most fulfilling aspects of your life. 

And this is what you were talking about with your closest friend/roommate on your twentieth birthday as you waited for your soulmark to appear. 

“She’s an absolute genius, I swear,” you said to your friend, who was listening with a grin. “She’s only eight years old and she’ll be able to outplay me soon.”

“Oh I doubt that.”

“No, seriously!” You took a sip of your wine, throwing your blanket over your cold feet. “She’s phenomenal. I’m helping her parents look into some scholarship for an arts school. Gah, she’s so good. But anyways, I’m sorry, I keep talking about me.”

“It’s your birthday!” your roommate argued, pouring herself another drink. “And your soulmark day for crying out loud, you’re allowed to talk about yourself.”

“Yeah but what about you?” you pushed. “How are things going at the shelter?”

Your roommate was a few years older than you and waited tables, but spent her free time volunteering at an animal shelter just down the road — that was actually where the two of you had met. 

“Really good, actually!” she said, sitting up straighter and proceeding to tell you about the shelter’s new initiative to get all of the stray cats adopted by Christmastime. 

Before you knew it, a half hour and another bottle of wine had passed and it was almost time for your soulmark to appear.

“What do you think it will say?” your roommate asked, waggling her eyebrows at you. 

You laughed, stroking the still blank skin on the inside of your left wrist. “I don’t know. As long as it’s nice, I don’t care.”

Your roommate stiffened and you immediately realized your mistake. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I — I wasn’t even thinking.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” she assured you, biting her lip as she looked down at her own wrist. 

(You hadn’t met your roommate yet when her soulmark had appeared, but the ink on her wrist read. ‘Do you have any idea who I am, you psycho?’ You had assured her that whenever she met her soulmate, the context of the situation would make the comment much less cruel, but she rarely believed you.)

“Tonight’s not about my mark,” your roommate said with a forced smile. “It’s about yours! How much time left?”

You checked your watch. “Uh, any second now actually.”

Your roommate squealed and scooted closer to you, both of you staring at your wrist as light music played in the background. 

You let out a heavy breath as black ink slowly started to appear. 

“There it is, there it is,” your roommate chanted excitedly

And sure enough, there it was. 

‘Hi, welcome to Agust D’s Records, I’m Yoongi.’

“Well then,” your roommate deadpanned. “That makes it … pretty clear.”

You stared at your wrist silently, mouth open like a fish. A dumbfounded, overwhelmed fish. 

“Yoongi,” you whispered after a few uncomfortably long, silent seconds. “His name is Yoongi.”

“Well where the hell is this Agust D’s Records place?” your roommate mused, whipping out her phone to search for the store. “We’ve got to go there ASAP.”

“This is so weird,��� you murmured to yourself. “I … I don’t really know how to feel. I mean, I can find him like … anytime at all.”

“Yeah you really lucked out,” your roommate responded. “No mystery for you. And look here.” You leaned over to look at her phone. “The store is only a few miles from us. We can go see him tomorrow!”

Your heart seemed to seize in your chest.

“Or not!” your roommate said quickly upon seeing your panicked expression. “You can go see him whenever you want, it is completely up to you. If you want me to go with, I will, but I also understand if you want to go by yourself. The ball is in your court, Y/N.”

You gulped, resting your head on her shoulder. 

“Yoongi,” you repeated dumbly as your roommate stroked your hair. “His name is Yoongi.”

***

2 YEARS LATER 

“Okay I’m just saying to consider it, Yoongs.”

“Don’t call me that,” Yoongi muttered, glaring over at his best friend as he reorganized the Beatles section that a bunch of high school punks had put out of place. “Tell me again why you’re bothering me instead of doing your job that I so graciously pay you to do?”

His friend scoffed, sitting down on the ground and leaning back on her palms. “It’s a genius idea and you know it. The store is doing great, and your brother is more than ready to take over as manager here. This is the perfect time to look into opening a new branch!”

“I’m perfectly content with just one store for now. Why are you so hung up on this?”

“I just have this feeling, Yoongs,” she continued. Yoongi watched as she leaned forward, subconsciously rubbing her soulmark that she’d received only half a year ago. It wasn’t much to see, just a simple ‘No.’ “I feel like we’re meant to move into the city proper and open a new branch. I just know it.”

“Oh you do?”

“Yeah,” she retorted, passion lighting up in her eyes. “Don’t you feel like the universe is all connected sometime? Like … like we’re all causing ripples in a pond that overlap with each other exactly like we’re meant to. And I just feel it in my bones that we’re meant to expand the store! We’re not supposed to keep making our ripples here forever!”

Yoongi sighed, looking down at her with sympathy. “Look. I’ll be honest with you, your idea is a good one. But,” he said quickly when she started to beam, “I don’t think it’s the right time just yet. Let me think about it some more and look over our finances. Let’s not rush into our ripples before we’re supposed to okay?”

His friend grinned, nodding and jumping up to hug him tightly. “That was a pretty good metaphor, don’t you think?”

“No, it was stupid. Now go man the register and leave me alone.”

“Love you too, Yoongs!”

“And stop calling me that!”

Yoongi rolled his eyes as his friend disappeared around the corner of the aisle he was on. He loved that girl, but she drove him insane. He hoped his soulmate wasn’t so extra, he was pretty sure he could only handle one overly dramatic person in his life. 

It’d been just over two years since his soulmark had shown up, and he had yet to hear the words on his wrist. At first he used to try and find ways to bring up Kanye West to every customer that caught his eye, but that got exhausting and disappointing really quick. 

So he decided to just let it be. His soulmate would show up when they were supposed to. 

“Yoongs. Psst, Yoongs.”

“Did I not just tell you to go man the register?” Yoongi asked in exasperation as his friend popped her head around the corner yet again. “What is it?”

“She’s back,” she said with wide eyes. “That girl.”

“What girl?”

His friend rolled her eyes and huffed. “Don’t play dumb, you know which girl.”

Yoongi swallowed. He did know which girl she was referring to, he had known right away. 

You started coming into the shop about a year ago, and he had been struck right away. It had been a particularly rainy day, and your hair had been dripping onto your shoulders, making the green of your sweater look particularly dark. He had introduced himself to you like every other customer (albeit his voice had cracked because you were staring at him with the prettiest, widest eyes he had ever seen), but you had only nodded at him politely and skittered away to look at some of the ukuleles he had just put on display. 

 He didn’t think much of it. Maybe you were shy, or maybe you couldn’t speak. He didn’t want to make any assumptions, so he just carried on with his business and rang you up for the Demi Lovato CD you bought, giving you the usual speech on the music classes and membership opportunities the store offered. You had smiled, nodded yet again, and then went on your way silently. 

That had been a year ago, and since then you had been coming into the shop at least once a week, but nary a word had been said to him. 

It only somewhat drove him crazy. For a while he believed that perhaps you couldn’t speak, but then he heard you ask his brother a question about the piano classes that the shop offered. 

So you could speak, you just didn’t want to speak to him. Great. 

His best friend had a theory that it was because you were his soulmate, but Yoongi didn’t think that could be true even though he had never seen your mark. You had bought two Kanye West records in the last year, and when he’d asked if you enjoyed Kanye’s music you had looked up at him a little scared and nodded hurriedly before darting out of the shop. 

Still not a word though. 

It was strange, but Yoongi had decided not to dwell on it any longer. You clearly didn’t want to speak to him for some reason, but you were polite enough and always bought something from the store — whether it was a record, sheet music, a CD, or some of the local band merch that filtered through every now and then. 

You were a loyal customer, just … a quiet one. Fine by him. 

“Dude, let it go,” Yoongi muttered to his friend as she continued to stare at him like he ought to do something drastic with this information that you were once again at the store. “And leave her alone, too. She doesn’t need the likes of you bothering her to talk to me.”

“The likes of me?” his friend shouted incredulously. “Brat. Anyways, I still think you should go say hello to her. She’s always watching you when you’re not looking. And not in a stalker way, but a cute, infatuated way. Go say hi.”

“Go man the register.”

“Ugh, fine!”

He couldn’t help but chuckle as his friend left with a dramatic huff. A minute or two passed and he finally finished reorganizing the section, heading around the corner to grab a box of some new records to stock.

Then he saw you.

He couldn’t help but stop dead in his tracks. You hadn’t seem him yet, instead looking down at the new piano that had just come into the store yesterday. Your mouth was slightly open as you ran your fingertips over the keys almost … reverently. Your eyes were bright with wonder and Yoongi felt like the breath had been knocked out of him at the sight. 

It was a damn shame that he didn’t think you were his soulmate. 

He swallowed, licking his suddenly dry lips as he readied himself to speak to you. 

***

“That just came in yesterday.”

You jumped at Yoongi’s familiar voice, yanking your hand back from the keys of the absolutely stunning piano. You looked over, swallowing thickly as you took in his appearance.

He always looked good and today was of course no different. He had dyed his hair blonde a few months ago, and his roots had started to come in, but that only added to his semi-grunge look. Ripped jeans and a cuddle-worthy brown sweater donned his slim frame, and you somehow managed not to ogle him like a total creeper. 

You then remembered that he had just spoken to you in that low, smooth voice of his and was probably expecting you to respond somehow. 

You smiled at him briefly before turning back to the piano to admire it. It really was beautiful.

“It’s a Bechstein,” he continued, sounding almost … nervous? “Twelve years used, but it’s in great condition. One of our regulars had it passed down in his family and decided to let us have it for half the selling the price. It’s no Steinway, but … it’s damn nice. I almost hope nobody buys it anytime soon.”

You couldn’t help but hum in agreement, wanting to reach back out to the beautiful black and white keys but knowing that you weren’t supposed to play the instruments without express permission from the store staff.

You’d been coming to the store for a year now to shamelessly creep on your soulmate, you definitely knew the ins and outs of the store by now. 

It was getting downright ridiculous the way that you were refusing to speak to your soulmate. Your roommate was going insane about it, even more so since she met her soulmate, Taehyung. She and the famous singer had almost killed each other upon first meeting, but they were head over heels for each other soon thereafter, which meant she was insistent on you speaking to yours so you could have the same kind of relationship. 

But you were painfully afraid. Yoongi had said the words on your mark to him a year ago and you still had not said whatever words were on his wrist — words that you refused to try and get a peek of. 

“Do you play?”

It took you a minute to register that Yoongi had just asked you a question. You met his piercing eyes, almost melting at his soft smile. You swallowed and nodded. 

“I figured,” he said softly, moving slightly closer to you. You raised an eyebrow at him as if to ask ‘how?’ “The way you looked at it. Like you could already hear the notes you wanted to play.”

Your heart stuttered. 

Say something you idiot, you thought to yourself. He’s your soulmate and you’re pussyfooting around as if he isn’t. 

You opened your mouth to say something — what, you didn’t know — and Yoongi’s eyes widened. 

And nothing came out. Fear gripped your vocal cords and you huffed, turning back to the piano in frustration. What was wrong with you?

 You heard Yoongi sigh in disappointment and all you wanted to do was run out of the store. You were just about to to do that when he spoke up again. 

“Do you … want to play something?”

You looked up at him in shock. He was offering to let you play the Bechstein? There had been both a Bechstein and a Steinway for you to play on at the arts conservatory you attended as a teenager, but ever since then you hadn’t had a chance to play on anything other than your Yamaha. It was nice, but … it was no Bechstein. 

Yoongi laughed as you nodded frantically. He gestured for you to sit and you took a deep breath, steeling yourself to focus on the piano and not your soulmate watching you. 

The first touch of the keys had the rest of the world disappearing — Yoongi, the shop, your worries, everything. 

Your fingers drifted over the keys with a honed elegance that only a lifetime of practice and love for the piano could create. 

It was a piece you knew like the back of your hand — a piece you had written, actually. The notes ebbed and flowed, painting a melodious picture of your life. You played the sounds of your mother’s love and dedication for you, you played the anxieties of high school and the competitiveness of your music program, you played the joy of teaching your students, you played late nights with your roommate laughing about the most random things together, you played the feeling of Yoongi saying the words on your wrist to you, you played your fear of revealing yourself as his soulmate and facing rejection, you played your very soul. 

As the last note finally rang out, you opened your eyes, your lashes fluttering as you crashed back into reality. 

You heard a few random customers and Yoongi’s chatty employee clapping and whistling and you couldn’t help but grin and turn around, bowing your head in thanks. You turned back to look at Yoongi, only to catch sight of him staring intently at your hands that were still lingering on the piano. 

Or more specifically, staring at your left wrist. 

Somewhere in the middle of all of playing, your long sleeve had ridden up your forearm, revealing your mark. And from where he stood over you, Yoongi could see the last half of the words in black ink. 

‘ … Agust D’s Records, I’m Yoongi.’

You froze. All of the warmth that came from playing the piano before you vanished as you took in the expression of complete and utter shock on Yoongi’s face. 

“That’s …” he mumbled, blinking rapidly. “That’s my name.”

You weren’t sure you were breathing. He finally looked up, meeting your eyes.

“Am I …” he trailed off, staring at you like it was the first time he’d ever seen you. Between your performance that had felt like it was literally tugging on his soul, to now knowing that you actually were his soulmate after all … “Am I your—”

“I’ve actually never listened to Kanye West,” you blurted out so quickly all the words slurred together. 

Once those words were out, it was like a dam had broken. 

“I got my mark just over a year ago,” you continued, the word vomit spilling out of you. “It told me where you worked and your name a-and I was so scared at first but then I told myself it would be fine so I came to meet you, but then I saw you and I — I completely panicked. I froze up, I was afraid you would reject me o-or something and so I just didn’t say anything. But then I couldn’t stay away and so I just kept coming back, but then I dug myself into too deep of a hole and didn’t know how to bring up the fact that ‘hey, surprise, I’m your soulmate and I’ve been semi-stalking you for a while?’ Not that I actually have! I swear, the only time I see you is here in the store.”

You stood up them, fidgeting with your fingers as Yoongi continued to stare at you in silence. 

“But I had to have some sort of reason to keep coming back, because I just felt wrong when I stayed away, so I would come in and buy something. And I saw that on the ‘staff recommended’ shelf there was always some Kanye West album and truthfully, I’m not that into rap music but I figured I would try since you seem to like him, but I never got around to it even though I bought like three of his albums. And I know you probably think I’m completely deranged and you’re probably right, but I just — I get really nervous, you know? And you’re so nice and yet we seem really different, so I was afraid that you—”

“Stop.”

You froze, your mouth open as Yoongi cut you off quietly, holding his hand up. 

Here it comes, you thought to yourself. He’s going to tell me I’m completely insane and to get the hell out of his store. Well, it’s been a good run I guess. 

But Yoongi didn’t do that at all. 

Instead, he took three calculated, slow steps forward until he was right in front of you, almost chest-to-chest. You held your breath, unable to look away from his eyes. 

He raised his hands, placing his palms on your cheeks. 

“Your voice,” he murmured, “is beautiful.”

Oh. 

“I … I’m sorry it took me so long to say something,” you stammered out softly, feeling a whole new spectrum of emotions as he looked deep into your eyes. 

Yoongi smiled then, a gummy, broad smile that knocked the breath right out of your chest. 

“Don’t be. Our ripples crossed right when they needed to.”

You blinked, hands reaching out to rest on his chest. “I’ll be honest, I … don’t really understand that metaphor.”

“I’ll explain it later. I know we just officially found each other, but can I kiss you? Please?”

You smiled broadly, and it didn’t bother Yoongi at all that you nodded instead of speaking.