#the colors look so bad on my pc Bye

[wikoymi]

4 february 2024 Day 1 of xiaoven week (fate)

[sunskate]

the Browns skating James Brown was my favorite performance of the day - really good, really fun ❤️‍🔥 they do the splits on the ice together - the deep curves they’re drawing on the ice the whole time too🔥 they always had skating skills, but they’re skating bigger and with a bit more power. they might have scored higher if they skated later. Pate/Bye got higher PCS then them 👀

there are a lot of Saturday Night Fevers, Car Wash, James Brown. two teams doing Rich Man’s Frug from Sweet Charity - it’s so in Lauriault/LeGac’s wheelhouse that it feels perfect for them

Flores/Desyatov: the Twist, Jungle Boogie, and Great Balls of Fire - one from each decade, i guess? they feel so chaotic lol sometimes it works, like the way they go into the lift - and other times it feels disorganized?

Browns: James Brown Get Up Offa That Thing. awesome- they wore older costumes, as did other teams

Pate/Bye: Le Freak, Car Wash, Shake Your Groove Thing

Neset/Markelov: ABBA - Waterloo, Fernando, Gimme Gimme Gimme

Fabbri/Ayer: Elvis - Jailhouse Rock, Suspicious Minds, Blue Suede Shoes - looking good - they always feel like a broader strokes team to me, primary colors - it’s not what i gravitate to personally, but they skated well

Annabelle Morozov/Jeffrey Chen: also James Brown Get Up Offa That Thing, I Feel Good - they’ve gelled much faster than he did with his previous partners. they had the tough luck of skating just after the Browns, and this program isn’t good by comparison. idk about MIDA choreo 😬

Bashynska/Beaumont: after seeing more of the RDs for this season, it feels like this isn’t doing them any favors

Tkachenko/Kiliakov: Adriano Celentano - Svalutation, Amore no - nobody can say they’re not unique. i’d never heard of this artist, but i guess he was a huge deal and sold 150 million records. it has a different sound from everyone else, and she’s wearing a dress that looks like Mondrian

Larson/Kapran: the other Rich Man’s Frug - this program was fun and had a lot of character, but i’m surprised it scored as high as it did

Lily/Nathan: both songs by The Commodores - Brick House and oof i’m blanking on the other one. i feel like they were underscored a bit - they’re performing bigger, looking good- maybe the song choices aren’t distinctive enough? Pham/Spiridonov: Dirty Dancing - Do You Love Me, Crying, Wipe Out - tailor made to show what they can do while disguising what they don’t do well yet. probably ranked higher than they really skated

Dozzi/Papetti: Tequila and Jump in Line - i loveeee this - what could be a novelty program is an adorable dance program- they calibrated this so well - the choreo, the costumes, and these two 😘

Nosovitskys: Saturday Night Fever - their coach is an ISU tech specialist and they often look kind of frantic because they seem to propel themselves with short choppy strokes. idgi

Fournier/Zhu: Back Street City Lights, Kung Fu Fighting

Alyssa Robinson/Jacob Portz: Saturday Night Fever - they were a tiny bit late for their warmup - came hurrying in with Madi and Adrian - don’t know what happened- they really get into character with this dance style- they, especially him have a sense of cheekiness about it- she had a fall in the MiSt today unfortunately

Roberts/Alis: Rolling Stones - Miss You, Satisfaction - they’ve grown a lot since moving to IAMO

Shilling/Baeten: James Brown - I Feel Good, Super Bad - hello new IAMO team, I wasn’t familiar with them from before- looking forward to more

Ritter/Brykalov: Boney M - Daddy Cool. Fever- good to have them back♥️

[bera-post-things]

Short Genshin Sagau

Prompt: Imagine the voice lines when like somebody else talks to the creator like now there a npc but at the same time no? And they like have voicelines imagine what the voicelines would be like “leave me alone I just want to go home…” so basically the creator is trapped in the game and the player who’s playing the game through like a pc can interact with the creator and you can find them wandering the lands like Liyue Mondstatd there be like secret story quest for him that’s not in the code or programmed and in the quest the cabarcetrs have their own voicelines that aren’t in the system as well and there’d be a whole lore around the creator and the caharcetrs would have voicelines regarding the creator/npc like their voicelines would be for example Venti “oh him/her? Don’t worry about them traveler me and them, we have a lot of history together and just don’t worry your little head and mind your own business m? okay?” Like that

✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫

A/N: I almost just deleted this whole thing lol

Published: September,25,2022 Edited:N/A

Credits to @evrsing for the inspiration that I got from reading their wonderful work!

A/N: Tumblr deleted like half of my fic so there’s that so I just rewrote it in here so yeahhh bye

✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫☆✫

You where currently wandering the hills of Mondstatd mindlessly The lands where lush filled with vibrant colors of many different colors of flowers, the hills where green, the sky was blue, there where birds chirping, the wind blew carryibg dandelion seeds with it, everything was so scenic and beautiful you thought to yourself to bad it was all fake… you thought solemnly looking down you where lucky to even be able to even let to go outside it seemed that they trusted you enough to allow that, but then again how could you even escape from here? no one would help you or even pity you they always said to you “you belong here your grace just accept it!” Or along the lines “your just being ungrateful” you thought to yourself until you bumped into someone bumping into someone you fell down on your butt making an omph sound you rubbed your but where it toke most of the impact “oh sorry there are you alright?” A fairy like creature flew towards you checking your head and you body while the blonde person just walked up to you and lend you there hand for yiu to get up, you accepted and held their hands to stand back up who where these people anyways? You thought taking a closer examination as you finally came to a conclusion it was the traveler was it finally time for another play to come? So soon? But wait you can use this to your advantage you thought also it seems like your a npc to them it looks like they don’t know that the other characters are self aware also… you thought before waving your hand infront of their face only receiving a blink you stood there for a few seconds before finally deciding to speak “well anyways can you help me with some traveler?” You asked them as they nodded and smiled oh right the traveler never spoke during half of the game you realized before hearing Paimon speak “yup we can help! But it will cost you!…” she said making the tarveler look at her “heheh uh… never mind! What do you need strange person?”

“Do you possibly know how you got here and a way to go back?” You asked them “uhm as far as I know the traveler over here has no clue has he got here and Paimon just got fished out of a lake so yeah we have no clue here” Paimon said Sheeplishly holding her hand towards on her head as the traveler only nodded making you frown “that’s alright it’s fine then I’ll just be on my way then!” You waved goodbye towards them before walking off and the traveler and Paimon doing the same before also waving goodbye they would soon make their way towards Mondstatd the city of the wind and freedom where they would meet a venti who was awaiting them at the gate of the city of freedom “hello there Venti!” Paimon waved “oh hello there traveler what brought you here to Mondstatd?” He asked them “oh nothing we just wanted to ask there was this really strange person by the stone gate askin* us if we’ve seen a gate that leads to other dimensions and we wanted to ask you about it” Paimon asked basically giving away everything about you as the traveler only just nodded “oh Traveler why don’t you go help Sara over there I’ll take care of this you go talk to Sara I heard that she needs some help with gathering ingredients “ Venti said suddenly getting very serious as he unusually ran off as the traveler only looked at Paimon with her only shrugging as well before they started walking off to their next destination…

… there you where sitting down under a tree waiting for the news of the traveler to inform you if they managed to gather anything as you waited for them for a while you heard incoming footsteps as you sat up and looked around but the only person you saw was Venti… walking towards you in a very serious manner compared to his usual happy one “your grace what did I tell you about trying to escape” Venti said looking down at you down at you, but you tried to play it off and said “oh I just wanted to see the flowers that’s all…” you said Him not buying it continued looking down at you “I hate to say this your grace but if you continue doing this I’m gonna have to put you back into the room again I may not be an archon anymore, but I still currently rule over this part of the land and your safety is my first priority above else your grace your grace, now stay here or I’ll let the others know of your misbehaving I may have been a little bit to kind to you these last few weeks”. He said as you tried to talk back but he only put his finger to your lips before walking away… leaving you only to sit back down on the green grass dread seemly already taking over you as you started sobbing “what is the point of a creator if your only seen as helpless puppet that can only roam the earth alone… you where so alone…” you said to yourself as you started grieving missing your “home” and what was taken from you, when you where forcefully put into this realm oh how you wanted to go back to the good times before all this ever happened but They wouldn’t let you…only able to roam the earth as the creator unable to do anything but watch…

[its-sheepe]

Why Boogsnux isn’t Multiplayr

My name is Sheepe. I was walking down teh street one day with my absolute best friend, Beffica (her real name is Jessica Beffers but her nickname is a combination). We had been friends since kidgarden, when we met on the playground. I stared into her hyperrealistic eyes that day, and just like that we connected with one another, doing everyting!

Recently, we got into a game called Bugsnax on the PS5 and Pc, and it’s been grate! We found it so funneh a character in the game is named Beffica, so naurally she became her favorite. However, we don’t have te gam so we jus watch videos. We dream of Bugsnax in our dreams, wanting to play it so bad.

So we were walking down the street, and suddenly Beffica tripped! I helped her up, and suddenly she screemmed. “Bestie, look!!!!!! It’s a copy of Bugsnakx for the ps5!!!!!!” We hopped up and down in joy for we both had ps5s. I looked at the cover happily, Filbo was running down the path catching ugsnax while Lozbart took photos. “Let’s go to my house Beffica, we can have slepocer!!!!!!”

Later, at slepocer…

Me and Beffica we in my room, having bugskat themed sleepover. We was eating gummy wurmz, chocolate ants, and delcois fried cricket. She had her homemade hyperrealistic weenieworm stuffed animal (her mom is a seamstress) and we were prepared for playing Bugsnax on the ps5. I pooped in the disk and watched as it loaded…

It loaded! There was now a Bugsax icon on my home page. It was a picture of Filbo smiling happily. I clicked it and watched as the game booped up showing the title screen it was beautiful!!!! There was text near the logo saying: “Deloloper test: multiplaor”. Me and Beffica looked at each other in joj. Multiplayer?!!!! We could play togehter in the Bugsnax world!

So I sharted a new save file, and hit the multiplayer option. There were so many different characters to choose from, being journalist, Filbo, Beffica, Wambus, and even Climby! I chose the journalist cause I like the various colors while Beffica chose Beffica, her fav.

We loaded into the world, but something was off. We were in what looked like a horrible, skary tunnel of hyperrealistic blood and guts, with various foods thrown about in the tunnol. We walked down the tummel and found a hole. Walking into the hole, we teleported into Garden Grove. Weird, but then the game continued normally. Beffica as Beffica made fun of Filbo, then helped me collect the snax for Wamboy.

But then, things got weirder. We all headed to Snaxburg, but it was on fire!!! Everyone was running around screaming hyperrealistically and we watched as grumps heads fells off and we’re rolling around everywhere!!! I ran into a hut and tried to fall alseep, which I did. Then everytin was normal when I woke up. Except it wasn’t.

When I stepped outside, EVERONE WAS DEAD!!!! There was no blood, just hyperrealistic foods covering the bodyes. Suddenly, Chandlo appeared, his face twisted in a evil grun. His hat was brimless, and his tank top was covering up his arms. He spoke in a deep, angry voice, “BRAH, ITS YOUR FAULT FOR THE FOODS” and than ran as us.

A black void filled the screen. All the grumps were staring at us with the same expression Chandlo had! They all said, “soon we will become flesh, and take over everything!” We both vomited. Text appeared on the screen that said “Bye bye baffica.”

Beffica then screamed. Her hands began to elongate and so did her face! Her hair fell out and turned puprle and she got shorter, as if Beffica from the game was trying to load into Beffica’s body!!! I screamed and cried and vomited as Beffica was mutating in front of me.

I jumped out the window and ran down the street, fast as my little little legs could go. I could feel Beffica Beffica’s presence chasing me down the street, and I vomited again, slipping in it and falling down a manhole.

If you read this, DO NOT PLAY BUGSNAX IN MULTIPLAYER

Beffica WILL get you. Just like she’s about to get me…

(Sorry again, the bad creepypastas are just so funny to make lmao)

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

Yandere Tubbo x Male Reader

Warning: little violence (not that detailed). 

This one is going to be short.

Requested from Pokadeathpony

Backstory: You live in Brighton, England, United Kingdom. (I don’t know where Tubbo lives nor do I know where Tommy lives) One day you were walking to go get some breakfast. Until you bumped into George one of your favorite Minecraft streamers and content creators. You were a small streamer, not that many viewers. You and George began to talk, he later invited you to see the dream SMP world, and you meet the other people of the dream SMP. You then got to meet Tubbo. You thought Tubbo was normal until it took a turn. A big turn. 

Btw you are 17. (Tommy will be turning 17 this year and Tubbo will be 18)

M/N: Male name

Y/T/N: Your Twitch Name.

M/U: Minecraft username

H/C: Hair color

S/C: Skin color

F/D/P: favorite donut place.

Sorry if this is bad.

You were sleeping peacefully until I heard the most annoying sound ever. 

*Beep, beep, beep,* “Ughhhhh.” You were trying to turn it off but you kept missing until you finally got it. ‘Finally got that stupid thing off!’ you thought to yourself. “What time is it?” I looked at the clock. “7:35 am. I might as well get up,” you said to yourself as you slowly got out of bed, stretching your muscles. 

You went to the bathroom to do your business and brush your teeth. After you were done, you grabbed my keys and went to go get breakfast.

As you were walking to go get your daily donuts and coffee, you suddenly bumped into someone causing me to fall. “You okay there?” the voice said, ‘I know that voice!’ you thought to yourself and looked up to see George, George Davidson!!

He handed his hand out, you grabbed his hand. “You alright,” he said, you couldn’t process anything, you just stared at him. You snapped out of your daze. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m a fan of you by the way,” you replied with excitement. 

“Oh? Really?” he said, “Yes! I’m a big fan of yours! I’m actually a streamer just like you,” You replied. “Oh, really what’s your twitch name?” He asked, wondering maybe he’ll check you out. “Oh, Y/T/N!” 

“Okay, maybe check it out later today. Hey, wanna talk and get some food?” you couldn’t say no to that, how many get to eat with their favorite celebrity? “Yes, I would like. Either way, I was going there before I ran into you.” “Alright, let’s go.”

Time skip (You and George went to go eat, and later he checked out your Twitch channel. 3 days later, you got a DM from George saying; “Do you want to tour the Dream SMP world?” and you gladly accepted the offer. And this is where it all began.)

Y/N POV 

I recently got a message from George saying, “Do you want to tour the Dream SMP world?” and you (Or should I say “we”) know I accepted it. He said tomorrow is when it's happening. 

Time skip to tomorrow. 

I woke up earlier than usual, even beat my alarm clock before it could ring. I went to the bathroom and did my usual. George said he will invite me at 10:30 AM. “What time is it now?” I grabbed my phone and checked, “It's 7:10 AM. Will looks like I’m going to have to wait a while.”

Time skip (3 hours and 20 minutes later)

I hopped onto my PC and started it up. After it started, I opened up Minecraft and checked my Notifications. I received the invite I quickly joined in.

Tubbo POV

I was on the Dream SMP world with Tommy, Corpse, George, BBh, and Dream, when an unknown player had joined the game. That shouldn’t be possible since this server is private nobody can join be us.

“Hey who joined?” I questioned. “Oh, I met this small streamer while I was walking to go get breakfast 3 days ago, and I invited them over to give a tour of the place!” George enthusiastically over discord. 

‘Mmm, so they’re a streamer? Maybe I should get to know them.’ 

Time skip (To be honest this one is rushed. It’s currently 1:08 AM where I live and my mind isn’t functioning right now) 

After I introduced myself and the others did, we began to talk about random things. Apparently, M/N is currently streaming right now, and I went to go check it out. 

After I introduced myself and the others did, we began to talk about random things. Apparently, M/N is currently streaming right now, and I went to go check it out. 

M/N has a facecam on, and I get to see what he looks like. He had looked pulchritudinous. Absolutely exquisite. He had soft fluffy H/C hair, his nice S/C, and how his dazzling E/C shine brighter than the sun. I’m going to say it again, he is ravishing.

‘Wait, why am I calling a guy beautiful?’ this boy is triggering something in me. Something I never experienced before. Something in me wants me to protect him at all cost. ‘No stop thinking about that!’ I pushed these unfamiliar thoughts and feeling down.

As time went on my thing for M/N increased. I don’t know why I’m so infatuated with him. Tried ignoring the thoughts and feelings but they keep coming. 

‘Something is coming out of ME.’ 

Time skip ( 2 months after the meeting)

It’s been two months since our little meeting, M/N is officially part of the SMP world. I’ve been binge-watching M/N streams, his YouTube videos, and I also follow him on all his social media accounts, and sometimes I’ll search the internet to find small information. 

I was currently on a website about M/N. it listed all of the information about him since meeting George is grew rapidly on Twitch and YouTube. ‘I already know all of this!’ I thought to myself as I kept scrolling down until I came upon something interesting. 

“M/n current residence in Brighton, England, United Kingdom.” my eyes widen as I read this, ‘He lives close to me!’ I yelled in my mind. 

I was fanboying until I heard my notifications sound. I stopped what I was doing went to go check who it was from. M/N invited me, I immediately accepted it. The world was loading. “Hello!” M/n yelled.   

It was me, M/N, Tommy, and dream on the server. I noticed that Tommy has been getting close to M/n, really close to for my liking. Tommy would sometimes even flirt, this obviously made me jealous for some reason. 

We were minding our own business until “Hey M/n! Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!” that was the most terrible pick-up line I have ever heard. “Oh my God Tommy?! Really?” M/n said but he was Laughing at that. 

This only made me INFURIATED.

M/n POV

I was minding my own business trying to build my home since I joined 2 weeks ago. The only other people on the server were me, tubbo, Tommy, and dream. Anyway, I was nearly done until Tommy said something, “Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!”

That has to be the most dumbest and funniest pick-up line I heard. “Oh my God Tommy! Really?!” I said while laughing at his attempt at flirting with me. 

Then Tommy went on to say more stupid pick-up line. Some of them were like, “Hey, my name's Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?” and “Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you’re sexy!” Just to name a few. 

I noticed that Tubbo hasn’t been talking as much. I wonder what’s wrong with him. I didn’t take note that was going to lead to something atrocious. 

Anyways we still had fun, Tommy kept trying to flirt. “Hey M/n, I was wondering if we could meet up since you know, we both live in Brighton,” Tommy with hope in his voice, hoping you accept his offer. I began to think, ‘Mmm, should I? Or should I not?’

“You know what? Sure. What time do you want to meet?” I accepted his request. “Uhhhhhh, Maybe on Thursday at 5:30. Meeting place F/D/P.” Tommy replied. “Alright! See you there,” I replied.

No One’s POV

Tubbo was fuming with anger as he was listening in on their conversation. ‘No!!!!! I can’t let this happen! I need to do something.’ Tubbo was thinking to himself, but he didn’t notice that M/n and Tommy had stop talking.

“Hey, Toby! Are you okay? You haven’t been talking,” Tommy said with concern. “Yeah, I’m just fine you know!” Tubbo said with venom and anger in his voice. “Wow there calm down, I was just asking. Geez,” Tommy backed knowing that his friend is anger. 

‘Why is he angry? I did nothing wrong!’ Tommy thought to himself, wanting to know what he did. “You know what, I think I’m going to leave,” Tubbo said as he left the game and went offline. 

“What’s his big deal?” M/n questioned. “I don’t know,” Tommy replied, “I gotta go. See ya later M/n!” “Bye Tommy!” Tommy has left the game. 

Meanwhile. 

“I need to find a way to prevent this meetup!” Tubbo said to himself. Then an idea came into mind. An extreme idea. 

New Messages 

Today at 4:23

Toby: Hey, Tommy. Sorry I lashed out at you today.

Delivered at 4:23 

Tommy is tying…

Tommy: it’s alright mate.

Delivered at 4:23

Toby is typing…

Toby: How about we meet up, so I can apologize in person.

Delivered at 4:24

Tommy is typing…

Tommy: today or tomorrow? Cause I have a meeting with M/n. 

Delivered at 4:24

When Tommy mentioned the meeting toby had to act fast. 

Toby is typing…

Toby: today at my place.

Delivered at 4:25

Tommy is typing…

Tommy: sure thing! When exactly?

Delivered at 4:25

Toby is typing…

Toby: 5:30 

Delivered at 4:25

Tommy is typing…

Tommy: Okay, see you at 5:30

Delivered at 4:26

‘And that WILL be the last time you see.’

Time skip (1 hour 4 minutes)

Toby heard his door knocked. Toby went to go open his door, and there he sees his target. “Hey, Toby!” Tommy let himself in. “So where are your parents?” Tommy questioned. 

“Oh, they’re on their anniversary vacation,” Toby answered. “Ohhh, okay. Wanna head to your room?” “Sure I just need to go get something.” “Okay.” 

While Tommy went upstairs, Toby went into the kitchen. He grabbed the knife and slowly began to walk, he hid the knife behind his back. Once he walked into his room, he locked the door and slowly began to approach Tommy. 

“What are you doing Toby?!” Tommy yelled as walked backward, but then he hit the wall. “It was never meant to be.” those would be the last words, Tommy would ever hear as Toby shoved the knife into Tommy’s heart. 

Toby cleaned up the body by putting it into the trash bag along with the knife. He quickly disposed of the body. 

3 days later

Tommy was reported missing by his parents and the police were on the search. M/n was worried. Toby called M/n to do a cooking stream. M/n was suspicious about this cause this came out of nowhere. But in the end, M/n agreed. 

A few hours have passed and M/n arrived at the residence of Toby. m/n knocked on the door waiting for an answer just then the door swung open revealing a smiling Toby. 

“Hey there M/n! Glad that you arrived!” Toby sounded a bit too happy for your liking. “Please come in!” he invited you in. But as you walked, you heard the door close and lock behind you. Just as you turned around you got knocked by a heavy object. 

You slowly began to wake, you noticed that you were tied up. You looked around until your eyes landed on Toby. He had a wicked smile plaster on his face. 

“Why are you doing this?” you asked desperately wanting to know why. ‘Did he cause Tommy to go missing?’ You thought to yourself until you hear Toby coming to you. 

“You know, I always reject this feeling inside me. This feeling caused me to love you. Tommy was getting in the way of us being together, he had to be dealt with.”

“You’re a monster! You killed Tommy and you think I’m going to love you?!” this angered Toby but didn’t show it. “You’ll learn to love… cause you’ll be staying here…

Forever…”

[slade-neko]

Dead Island Appreciation Post?

Hmm, weird writing that. After the Back 4 Blood Beta ended, I was left wanting more zombie games. Left 4 Dead is the obvious choice, but I wanted to revisit the Dead Island games. I played them years ago on Xbox 360. They were fun, but I always remember them being very "headache inducing" for some reason. Remembered why now, it's from the forced heavy motion blur, very narrow FOV, and odd character movement that feels like I'm constantly sliding. Great thing is I'm playing PC this time around, so all my problems were tweaked and fixed, easy-peasy lemon squeezy! I was able to enjoy Dead Island without a migraine and the game was actually pretty fun!

Why do Remasters make bad changes?!

Played through all of Dead Island Riptide nearly 4 times now... twice on the Definitive "Remaster" and 1 and ½ on the original Riptide enough to 100% both versions with all achievements. Gotta say the Remaster is weird. From what I saw the new high-res textures are great, new lighting and shader effects are lovely, and gameplay is buttery smooth, BUT why on Earth did they alter some of the NPC's designs like eye color and clothing colors?! Then there's the fact the "Remaster" COMPLETELY lacks the dynamic weather system! A big part of the original Riptide was it could have rain and storms, a feature that was new to Riptide and not present in the first Dead Island game, but for some odd reason it’s absent in the Riptide Remaster. My guess is the devs couldn't get it to work with the new graphic shaders, so they simply cut it out instead of fixing it. And randomly a few fast travel locations are missing in the Remaster. Last big thing I wanted to touch on is the Remaster overhauled the whole Weapon Force system (or maybe the physics engine) which now sucks. I don't know if this change was deliberate or not, but Zombies don't go flying anymore when hit with high force weapons and attacks like Charge and John Morgan's uppercut and powered kick attacks. Where in the original game those attacks would send zombies hurling through the air, in the Remaster it almost looks like they tripped and gently fell over. The force changes also affects thrown weapon damage. Original Riptide I got a lot of 1-hit kills with throwing weapons, Remaster it takes 2-3 throws to kill a normal walker. R.I.P. Logan who's whole character is based on THROWING weapons. That little physics update they just had to make inadvertently changed a lot of the gameplay.

Here’s some quick comparison gifs of force physics between the two games. First is the original game John Morgan's Uppercut attack, which sends 'em flying.

Then Remaster's Uppercut which just falls flat. BORING!

Then there's John Morgan's powered sprint kicks in the classic. Bye, bye zombie!

Compared to Remaster where they just fall backwards... "yay."

TL:DR Yeah, so basically I hate it when video game remasters change things that didn't need to be changed... when a game is fine, just give it new graphics and leave it at that, dang, it ain't hard.

Oh, and the original point of this post was to say that Dead Island games are actually kinda fun once you patch out the headaches! And while they're impossible to buy through Steam now, I recommend the classics over the remasters.

[urtypicalemolady]

IDK You Yet (707 x Fem! Reader)

hi! so, i really love mystic messenger so I decided to write one about my favorite hacker Luciel Choi/707. Hope y'all enjoy it!!

Warning: There might be spoilers!! I repeat! THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!   ~~~~~~~~~~

707's P.O.V

I sat in my room, eating Honey Buddha Chips with PhD Pepper while looking at my PC. I'm currently watching the CCTV Y/n is at. I keep looking every 2.35 seconds to see if she left or anyone came in. I know that's weird but I can't help it. I have a really bad feeling about what's going on right now.

The hacker that sent Y/n to Rika's apartment sent emails to RFA members, my work hasn't been done and Ms. Vanderwood keeps bugging me about how my house is so messy. Plus...I can't focus because of Y/n.

I can't stop thinking about her. Everyone in the RFA are saying that we have feelings for each other which I keep denying it. I mean, I'm not really sure if I like her. Sure, I keep looking at the CCTV to see her face, keep waiting for her call just to hear her sweet, calming voice. Or how every time I try to code something I end up writing her name instead. Or how whenever we talk in the chatroom or on the phone, I feel happy and start to lose focus because I keep thinking about what she's doing. Or how I don't want her to get hurt because of me. Or how I made a robot dog that blows fire from it's mouth just for her...

Okay, maybe there's some affection there but I can't be with her. My work is too dangerous. If she get's involved with me, she will be in danger. I don't want that happening specially if I'm the reason she's hurt. Nothing good is going to come out if we get together.

"Agent 707!" I hear Ms. Vanderwood's voice.

"Huh? What?" I asked.

"I've been calling you for 30 seconds. Your phone is ringing. It's your beloved Y/n." He rolled his eyes and continued cleaning my living room. I immediately grabbed my phone and answered.

"Hello? Y/n? What's wrong? Did something happen? Are you hurt?" I asked, worried. She chuckled. I feel myself blush because of how cute it sounded.

"Calm down, Luciel. I'm okay." She said. I sighed in relief and blushed more because she called me by my name and not Seven.

"Why did you call?" I asked, calming myself down yet my heart beats faster.

"Nothing I was bored...and I wanted to hear your voice." She said shyly. I blushed again.

"Ahh...my heart." I joked but it was the truth. She chuckled again.

"Tell me, are you looking at the CCTV camera?"

"Always...every-"

"3.25 seconds. Yeah, I know. I listen. Are you looking right now?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked, confused.

She didn't answer. I hear shuffling then a door unlocking. I looked at the camera to see a girl standing there. She had a jacket same as mine (the black and yellow one), white tank top on and black sweatpants. I imagined how she would look in my clothes. Ahh, so cute.

"Hi!" I hear her voice from the phone and her figure waving at the camera. "I know that you're working so hard right now to catch the hacker. I'm sorry that that's happening to you. If I hadn't join the RFA then you wouldn't be working at so many things right now."

"Don't be sorry." I kept staring at her pretty face. She looked sad. I hated it. "I'm glad you joined."

"I'm glad I did too." She sat down on the floor. "How was your day?"

"Better now that I see you're safe. How's yours?"

"Perfect now that I hear your voice."

"Have you eaten yet?"

"No, I ran out of food."

"You shouldn't skip meals, Y/n." I say in a warning tone. "It's bad for your health."

"I could say the same thing about you, Luciel. I bet you're eating Honey Buddha Chips right now with PhD Pepper." I see her smirk.

"You know me so well." I say lovingly.

"I want to tell you that I'm really proud of you for working your ass off. I know in the chatroom, you joke a lot but with your work and the message last night, I can tell that you're really stressed. I hope you get some rest or sleep tonight. I don't want you to get sick because I would be really sad." She pouted.

"Y/n..."

"Luciel, thank you for all your hard work." She smiled and did heart-finger. I smiled at the sight. "I can't see you right now but I can tell you're smiling."

"How are you so sure about that?"

"I don't know. I can just feel it. My seventh instinct, I guess you could say" She shrugged, then laughed at her own joke. I chuckled.

"You're a dork." I shook my head.

"You're the biggest dork. Also, I got this new jacket. You like it?"

"I do. It looks very cute on you."

"Really?" She stood up then gave me a twirl. She sat back down again with a smile. That distracting, pretty smile.

"You're making me lose focus." I say, in a slight rude tone. I didn't intend that.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She frowned. "Uhh, hope you catch the hacker soon so we can see each other and hang out. No pressure." She smiled then stood up. "I'm gonna go grocery shopping. Good luck! I'm rooting for you."

"I feel like I can do anything with you cheering for me."

"I'll call you tonight, okay? See you soon, Luciel!" She waved at the camera and walked away while ending the call. I sighed. I just had to push her away, did I?

"You pushed her away again." Ms. Vanderwood pointed out.

"I know." I laid my head back at the chair.

"Good. You know what will happen if she gets involved."

"I know, Ms. Vanderwood."

"I have a taser in my bag." He said for the fifth time today.

"Okay, Agent Vanderwood." I sighed again and put my head on the desk.

"I know you like her, Agent 707. But if boss finds out, she can get hurt. You'll be forced to have a new identity and possibly never see her again."

"I know."

I hear him sigh in defeat.

"Go finish the work boss needs then you can do RFA's work. I'll come back later. I'm going to get food."

"There's Honey-"

"Real food." He rolled his eyes and left my house. I sighed again.

I miss Y/n. But why? I barely know her. We've known each other for a week. For some reason, I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go. She's always on my mind. I need her but I don't even know her yet. I know basic stuff like her name, birthday, age, height, weight, etc. But I want to know more. Like, how she likes her coffee. Does she even drink coffee? What's her favorite color? What's her favorite movie? What would she look like with my cat onesie? Adorable, that's what.

A ring interrupted my thoughts. My ears perked up and I answered my ringing phone.

"Hello? Y/n?" I asked.

"Yes, God Seven." A male voice answered. I sighed in defeat.

"Hey, Zen." I said.

"Whoa, what's up with the sad tone? Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, just tired from work." I rubbed my temple. "Anyways, why did you call?"

"Oh. I read the chatroom. It seems like you've been denying your feelings for Y/n."

"I'm not denying anything. She's a member of the RFA. That's only why I'm worried."

"Right." He said in a sarcastic tone. I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you care?" I said, again, in a rude manner.

"Whoa, no need to get worked up, buddy. I'm just teasing."

"You're right." I calmed myself down. "I'm sorry. I’m just really tired.”

"Don't be. Look, if you like Y/n, go for it. Because it seems to me that she liked you back. You have a chance. Don't waste it."

"I don't like her."

"Whatever you say, man. Everyone can see how you two like each other. I'm just trying to help."

"Thanks but no thanks. Don't you have to look at yourself in the mirror?" I tried to end the conversation.

"Oh, you're right. Thanks for reminding me." I rolled my eyes. "But think about what I said. Go for it, man. She really likes you."

"Bye, Zen." I ended the call. I grabbed a handful of my hair. "I want to go for it. But I don't want her to get hurt."

*** 6 hours later...

I was tracing the hacker again when my phone rang. I didn't answer, too busy working. A few seconds later, it rang again. I took a breath and answered.

"Agent 707, at your service." I say in my usual cheerful voice.

"God Seven!" Y/n's beautiful voice rang from the other side of the device. "How are you this fine evening?"

"Amazing. How is my Y/n doing?" I smiled, leaning back on my chair, forgetting my work.

"Your Y/n?" She said in a teasing tone.

"O-oh, did I say that?" My eyes widened. "I'm sorry, it just slipped out."

"Don't be sorry. I like that." She giggled.

"You do?" I asked.

"Yeah. Speaking of names. Can I guess your real name?"

"What?"

"Luciel is your baptismal name. I wanna know your real name."

"My baptismal name is just as important as my birth name so I don't think you need to find out. I'm fine with Luciel, Seven Zero Seven, God Seven or Defender of Justice 707."

"But I wanna call you by your real name. I wanna know the real you." She said. My heart skipped a beat.

"W-what do you think my real name is?" I gave in.

"Can you give me a hint first?"

"It starts with S and eight letters."

"Hmm. S and eight letters."

"I really doubt you would get it."

"Try me." She sounded determined.

"How bout we make it more fun."

"Oooh, what do you suggest?"

"If you get it right...I'll come visit you at Rika's apartment. As soon as you get it, I'm coming over." I'm only saying this because I know she won't get it.

"Really?" She said happily. "Is that a promise?"

"I promise. But, you only have three tries."

"Dang.."

"Good luck." I smiled.

"Sebastian?"

"Wrong. Two more tries, princess." I chuckled. "I mean, Y/n."

"Sang-cheol?"

"Wrong again. That's not even eight letters. One more." I smiled. "You're not gon-"

"Saeyoung."

"What?" My smile dropped.

"Saeyoung. Is your name Saeyoung Choi?"

"..." I stayed silent.

"Hello? Seven? Luciel? Are you still there?"

"I guess I'll see you in an hour, Y/n." I ended the call and got ready.

I'm meeting the woman that made me feel thing I've never felt before. I know the risk but I also know how to be careful. I can't believe this is happening.

Y/n's P.O.V

"I guess I'll see you in an hour, Y/n." Luciel said then ended the phone call. My eyes widened in realization.

"I guess I'll see you, Saeyoung Choi." I smiled and got dressed up.

I'm going to meet the man that has made me feel happy and giddy this past week. I'm going to meet my protector. I can't believe this is happening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The end!

[harryandmolly]

like the back of my hand - 2020-2021 (final)

Summary: a relationship within a collection of moments

Warnings: language, NSFW, light BDSM

Word count: a hefty 12k

January 7th, 2020

“C’mon, if I don’t get pics of the boy, I at least want pics of the car,” she whines, shivering a little when she feels Shawn’s hand brush over her inner thigh. He’s looking down at her skin fondly, tracing her stretch marks. She reaches up and tangles her fingers in the back of his hair, making him smile wistfully.

“Google BMW i8. It’s white,” Lauren responds with a nervous giggle.

She takes her hand back from Shawn’s hair with a mumble of protest from him. She obeys Lauren’s instructions and gasps into the phone. Shawn glances over and does the same.

“This is his fucking car?!” Shawn whines.

“Yo, dude, is he loaded?!” Lilly cries.

“I know, it’s crazy, people like, wave when he drives around in it.”

“That is the sexiest car I’ve ever seen,” Shawn declares, squinting at it on the screen, “Does it have gull wing doors?”

“Yep,” Lauren confirms. Shawn’s grip tightens on Lilly’s thigh. She exhales sharply and looks down. He tilts his glance up to her devilishly. She watches his face as his fingers dance closer to the apex of her thighs. Her breathing shudders. She lifts the phone away from her mouth, but it doesn’t matter, she doesn’t know what Lauren is saying anyways.

“He asked me to be his girlfriend,” Lauren giggles. Lilly does hear that, managing to look away from Shawn as he runs his middle finger down the center of her thin Hershey’s Kisses boxers.

“Oh, Lo, yay! We have a boyfriend!” Lilly squeals, smiling up at Shawn. He nods placatingly, focusing on the task at hand. He traces the trail of skin above her boxers, dipping just his fingertips underneath.

Suddenly, he rolls on top of her, his body covering her legs. She slaps a hand over her mouth, listening carefully as Lauren tells the story of her new boyfriend’s family barbeque. Meanwhile, Shawn busies himself by tugging at the waistband of her shorts until she lifts her hips obediently. He pulls them off and kisses a jagged, wet line up the inside of her right leg until his face is above her underwear. She’s breathing heavy again and running a hand through her hair.

“Lo, babe, I’m sorry, I gotta call you back later. Shawn’s face is literally between my legs and I can’t concentrate. Ok. Bye.”

She hangs up as Shawn’s surprised laugh bubbles up from deep in his chest. “I can’t believe you just told her that.”

She shrugs, “You know how we are. Plus, you started this, bucko. You got turned on by a car.”

He nods, lowering his lips to her center that has partially soaked through her pink and white striped panties. “Fair.”

++++++++++

January 18th, 2020

She holds Shawn’s hand tighter as they round the corner and he knows it’s more for her than it is for him. Her other hand is separating some hair out over the front of her shoulder and tightening the line of her lipstick around her mouth. He snickers.

“Stop primping,” he orders, widening his eyes at her playfully.

“I just want to make a good impression on your friend,” she teases, bumping his upper thigh with her hip. He shakes his head and lets go of her hand in favor of swinging an arm around her shoulders. He tells himself it’s not possessive.

Niall is standing toward the back of the green room with a Stella in one hand and gesturing animatedly with the other. Lilly thinks it feels Irish in here, but maybe it’s just because she likes the idea of that. Childish Gambino is playing from the speakers but is only barely audible above the rowdy room. Since it’s LA, the guest list is larger than usual and there are more friends around. Lilly is prepared to wait her turn to talk to the Irish prince, but Shawn, ever so politely, moves them up to walk right into Niall’s story as he finishes telling it.

He’s shorter than she imagines, probably because she’s used to toting around Shawn the jolly green giant. His hair is done for the show and he’s in smartly tailored grey trousers and a navy short-sleeved button up. His attention falls to them immediately. Lilly’s heart smashes against her ribs when his big blue eyes turn on her.

“Ay!” he chirps, looking up from her face to Shawn’s. Shawn releases her to complete the bro hug transaction before holding Lilly out as an offering.

“This is Lilly, my girlfriend. You probably guessed that,” Shawn chuckles awkwardly, unsure how this interaction is supposed to go. Niall puts his fan face on and reaches out for a hug.

“Nice to meet ya, thanks for comin’, love.”

“Thanks for having us,” she says, managing to keep her voice level. His eyes are so blue. She suddenly has an unwelcome flash of her history of stanning Niall from her carrot days shrieking at their cover of “Use Somebody” on the Up All Night tour to imagining him sweeping her off her feet while she backpacked across Europe after graduating college.

“So you’re “Her,”” Niall giggles, tilting his head at Shawn with a dare in his eyes. Shawn laughs.

“I am she,” she confirms, face going red.

“’S a great album. Or, what I’ve heard of it. I’m so stoked to do the song. Have you heard it yet?” he asks her. Another flash of a video she has on her phone of him doing the famous crotch grab during “Heart Attack” in Boston.

“She hasn’t heard any of it,” Shawn pipes up, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as it got stuck in her bright pink lipstick. Niall’s eyebrows shoot up, interested.

“Because I want to be surprised. I want to hear it all when it’s done. I want to sit down with my man and a bottle of wine and cry through the whole thing,” she laughs, reaching up to lace her fingers with Shawn’s on her shoulder.

“You’re not even going to listen to the singles when they drop?”

She shakes her head, looking back at Niall with a giggle in her throat.

“Wow, that’s… actually really romantic,” Niall admits with a bob of his head, tugging back a sip of beer, “So Shawn tells me you’re a Directioner.”

Shawn grins, ready for “let’s embarrass Lilly” time. Lilly huffs a sigh, nibbling her lower lip before she remembers the pigment she doesn’t want on her teeth while meeting one of her heroes.

“I… dabbled,” she jokes hopelessly, unable to sell it, “Huge fan. Crazy fan. I mean, I never stalked you at airports and stuff but, y’know…”

Shawn’s shaking his head, his chest rumbling behind her. She’s making it worse than he imagined. Niall’s used to it and pleased to hear it at a normal volume and from a pretty girl.

“We’ll get back in the saddle again, I promise you.” He nudges her arm and she swears she’s on fire.

He offers them drinks and she’s surprised by how much attention they’re getting given how many other people probably came to see him. Niall asks about DC, about college, about LA. He asks a couple curious questions about how she felt about the album morphing into a concept album about their relationship. She doesn’t give her usual PC answer.

“It’s a little scary. I’ve told him this. God forbid we break up and there’s just this… ode to me hanging over his head for the rest of his career.”

Niall nods. “’S brave. Also a good reason not to break up.”

She looks over her shoulder to Shawn who is enjoying seeing her like this. She blows him a kiss. He winks at her.

“Not worried about it right now,” she admits, cocking her head at Niall and laughing to herself. If her 16-year-old self could see her now…

“You two are adorable,” Niall murmurs a little wistfully. Lilly blushes hard, nodding.

“I’m the luckiest woman alive.” She says it with a sincerity that rocks her own boat a little. She’s sort of glad Shawn’s engaged in conversation elsewhere.

The pre-party gets the wrap-up signal from Niall’s tour manager. As people are saying their last goodbyes, Shawn reaches out for Niall’s arm. “Hey man, can we take a picture?”

Niall agrees quickly and they nudge Lilly in between them. Shawn hands his phone off and they take a few.

“God, I hope my face isn’t beet red, my heart is pounding. Fuck, my inner teenager is having a fit,” she admits, ducking her head in shame at Niall. He bursts out laughing at her honesty and brings her into his arms. He rocks her gently as she covers her face. Shawn takes more pictures.

“Thanks again for comin’, enjoy the show. I’ll see ya soon. We should go out when we record the song, yeah?”

Lilly nods eagerly, waving at him as he’s swept away for pre-show rituals. She turns back to Shawn, shaken and taking deep breaths.

“You did pretty good, I’ve definitely seen worse,” he teases, pulling her in for a kiss. It’s quick and gentle because they’re still around people. She swipes the color off his lower lip as he makes a face.

“Bad choice of lip color, sorry,” she murmurs.

“Had to look good to meet your mans,” he shoots back, looking smug instead of threatened.

“I can’t believe I just met him, I could cry,” she squeaks, pressing her face into his chest, “I’m going to feel the aftershocks of this star-strike for weeks.”

Shawn laughs and leads her toward the group of green room-goers that are being led to their VIP section. They spend the concert in each other’s arms and he forgets for a while how big her crush on Niall is until Niall spots them in the crowd and waves. She tightens up against him and almost actually swoons. Later that night, she sucks him off and he comes so hard he tears up.

+++++++++

March 22nd, 2020

Shawn’s been gone for two weeks doing album press so when he gets home, Lilly wants to show him a good time. She’s been dreaming about making him squirm underneath her, willing him to submit even though he’s got over a foot of height and at least 40 pounds of muscle on her. She doesn’t know if he’d be into it but her dreams are hers and they make her miss him even more.

When he walks in the door to his condo, she’s waiting for him at the top of the stairs. She doesn’t get a word out before he’s swinging her up over his shoulder and racing for the bedroom.

“Guess what I finished reading on the plane?” he pants, tossing her roughly on the mattress. Her eyes blow wide open.

“The Windflower?”

He nods, a look of sleepy lust on his face as he starts tugging at the buttons of his shirt. She makes a low whining noise and sits up to start at his belt buckle. He removes her hands gently but purposefully. She looks up and audibly gasps at the simmer in his eyes.

“No, my little windflower, tonight you’re mine to ravish.”

On anyone else’s lips, the words would sound cheesy and hollow. Maybe she just missed him too much. But when he says it, her head falls back a little, overwhelmed.

“Oh my god, you’ve got to be kidding me,” she purrs. When she musters the strength to look back up, he’s shedding his jeans and staring at her like a starving man. She whimpers.

He reaches for her feet and pulls her down the bed to him. He drops one leg to the mattress and she’s so in shock that she bounces a little, boneless and all too willing for him. He lifts her delicate foot to his lips, pressing his mouth to the tattoo on her cool skin. She closes her eyes, relishing the feeling of his detailed attentions, giggling when his teeth graze the soft flesh under her knee cap. When she opens her eyes again, he’s there hovering over her, hands planted on either side of her head.

“You’d make a very sexy pirate lord,” she comments, embarrassed by her ragged breath. He gives her a lopsided grin.

“Thank you, milady.” With that, he lowers his body onto hers and gets to work, making her feel every inch the lady she is.

Later that afternoon, when the sun is hot even through the curtains and they’ve abandoned the sheets in favor of lying naked together above the blankets, she looks up at him. He’s lying there looking like the goddamn statue of David, all curls and bone structure and hard-earned muscle. She runs a finger down his thigh to get his attention. He looks up from his study of the pillow under his arm and smiles placidly at her.

“What do you like, Shawn?”

He looks surprised. “Hmm?”

“We’ve spent months exploring my sexuality. And I realize now I don’t think I’ve really asked you what you like.”

He swallows, going just a shade pink. “I dunno. I like you.”

She breathes a laugh against her resting place on his stomach and watches the muscles contract deliciously.

He chews on the inside of his lip. It’s true, their crusade had been pretty centered around her. She was entirely in control of every situation, guiding him to please her as she became ready, unfurling in his hands like soft ribbon. He had never been a part of something like that before, that careful exploration, simplified and broken down to such innocence that kind of took his breath away. He was happy to be there for her that way, but he found something in himself he didn’t know was there.

He liked being at her disposal. He liked her using his body and his love to find herself. In fact, as she found herself, he did the opposite. He got lost in it and that clouded lack of focus somehow brought him clarity. He didn’t have to do anything other than be there and watch – he didn’t have to make decisions or voice opinions. This process of theirs wasn’t meant to be for him, but it served him, nonetheless.

“I like… being there for you. I like—” he stops to take a deep, shuddering breath, “I really like being under your control.”

The words stop her in her tracks. She keeps her eyes down on the plane of his chest, tracing her fingers up the inside of his arm to watch the muscles twitch. She blinks. She likes it, too.

“Has that been something you’ve tried before?” she asks, rolling her head so her chin is propped up on his sternum. He brushes his fingertips through the hair at her crown.

“No. I mean, a little. There were… maybe two one night stands where I took a back seat. But nothing like what we’ve been doing. I… really like what we’ve been doing.”

She lets her eyes graze over the large, gorgeous man underneath her, feeling him shiver under the weight of her gaze. When she reaches his face, he’s vulnerable and honest and she wants to swim in it.

“Do you want me to take care of you, Shawn?” she asks him quietly, feeling her heart race against his stomach. His breath catches. He nods.

She carefully lifts herself off his torso, tracing the rosy pattern her weight leaves against his skin. He lies there still, waiting for her. She’s deciding how to proceed when he clears his throat.

“Do you… I mean, would you want to tie up my hands?”

Her eyes snap up to his. The same vulnerability has multiplied. His heart is resting in her hands. She nods eagerly.

“Is that ok?” she whispers.

“Yes, please.”

She pushes herself off the bed on both hands. He goes to sit up and stops when her hard blue eyes meet his. “Stay there.”

He swallows and lies back down. She wanders naked into his closet where she’s left some things over the last few months. She pulls a short black satin robe off the hanger and slides it on, flipping her waist-length hair out from under the sheer lace back. She pads back out and finds him where she left him. She bites her lip, a little drunk on the power.

As she meanders back to the bed, slowly to make him sweat a little, she starts tugging on the black satin sash that tickles her legs until it releases from the rope’s loops and rests in her hands.

“This ok?” she asks him. He croaks something in assent, feeling the blush percolate under his skin when she reaches the edge of the bed. She climbs up on her knees and he admires the taut skin over well-worked muscle of her thick thighs. He finds his hand brushing up against the outside of her leg. She quirks a grin.

“Touch me now, babe, because you won’t be able to for a while.”

His heart stomps against his ribs. He giggles shyly and takes his hand back, lifting his arms over his head before she has to ask him. She looks pleased with his willingness. She scoots up the bed to cross his wrists over one another, looping the soft fabric around a couple times before she begins fastening the ends to the wooden headboard. He tilts his head back to watch, growing even a little harder at the sight of himself in restraints. He wonders if she’s wet yet and realizes with a short groan that he won’t know until she wants him to.

She leaves the robe on and climbs over him, straddling his hips, watching his body heave with the effort of his labored breath. She starts with her curious fingers, tracing patterns around his hairline, down his temples, massaging gently. His eyes shut and his lips part. He feels her nails graze over the end of his nose, making him smile until her fingers dance over his lips. Instinctively, he opens his mouth and her ring and middle finger drop in to the knuckle. He lavishes them with his tongue, opening his eyes to see her shocked and a little shaky with arousal as she perches over him.

“Holy shit,” she mumbles weakly, eyebrows pulling together at the sight of him like this, all pink and breathy and willing and sucking on her fingers. She lets him for as long as she can stand it, taking her hand back and shifting her legs down his lap. His cock is hard and waiting for her on his stomach, but she has a long way to go and a lot to admire before she’ll get there.

She drags her wet lips down from his temple to his jaw, hearing him pant in her ear while she traces the throbbing vein in his neck to where it disappears under his collarbone.

“Can I mark you up?” she whimpers. His eyes slam shut, brow wrinkling at the tone of her voice.

“Uh huh.”

She lets her whims guide her, leaving rosy ovular shapes wherever she feels like it – on his left shoulder, the inside of his right bicep, the ridge of muscle where his pectoral meets his ribcage. She leaves no inch of skin unloved, but now he thinks she’s completely lost in him and he has to start begging her or he’s gonna lose it.

“Baby, please,” he moans, shuddering when her fingers again bypass his aching length as they venture up his inner thigh to his belly button. The darkness of her eyes when her gaze snaps up to his makes him realize she was not lost, not at all. She was careful and calculated and he should’ve known. He knows her meticulous nature as well as his own.

She does get curious, though, and runs a fingertip so lightly down the underside of his cock that, if he wasn’t so absolutely fucked for her, he might not even feel it. As it is, the air whistles out his nose. He looks down to watch her sink her teeth into his inner thigh, sliding her tongue against the skin. He cries out, rutting up hard into nothing. She plants her hands on his hips and shoves down, pinning him.

“It’s ok, baby, I’ve got you,” she assures him, her voice secure and level. His head falls back and he stares up at his wrists, bound for her.

She leaves soft, plucking kisses over his intercostal muscles while her hand whispers down over his hot skin to wrap around the base of his dick. He gasps at the contact and bucks up into her hand a little. She raises an eyebrow at him, her lips pursed.

“Sorry,” he croaks, shaking his head a little, “Sorry.”

She runs the pad of her thumb up the same trail she took before, shifting her hand to grip the head and squeeze. He turns his face into his arm and mumbles unintelligible profanities.

Suddenly, her hand is gone and she’s holding his shoulders for leverage as she repositions her body up over him. He’s blinking, wondering if he could really be so lucky as to—

The thought cuts off hard and cold in his brain when she lowers herself so her core, soaked and ready for him, rests on his cock.

“Oh, Lil,” he moans helplessly, feeling his toes curl.

She flicks her hips so her wetness swipes up and back down again, too quickly for any real relief. He’s gasping air desperately and she’s got her hands planted on his chest for support as she watches herself tease him. He’s being so good, keeping his hips on the bed even though she can see him straining for release.

“Are you ok?” she whispers, tilting her head at him. His wide eyes, all pupil now, look up into hers. He nods gently, assuring her it’s not too much, that he trusts her, that he wants this.

After a few more teasing strokes, Lilly getting the stimulation she craves from grinding her clit on his length, she knows she can’t stop herself anymore. She sits up on her knees and takes him by the base again, positioning him at her entrance.

They both watch, entranced, as her body accepts the tip of his cock. As she inhales, he exhales. She clenches around the head experimentally.

“Oh my fucking god,” he hisses, body tensing. She slides down another inch and does the same. By the same he’s fully sheathed in her, he’s hiccupping swears into his arm.

She takes what she needs from him, sliding up and down slowly at first, getting used to him filling her out as beautifully as he does.

“God, Shawn, you feel amazing.”

He whimpers in return, still so obedient, putty in her hands. She thrusts faster, digging her knees into his mattress and throwing her head back. He watches her hair soar, catching the light and throwing gold strands over her arms. It doesn’t last, though, because she’s lurching forward to change angles and press her chest to his as she fucks him and her hair falls forward again to tickle his stomach, adding to the overwhelming litany of sensations.

“Lilly, Lil, please, I’m gonna come.”

She moans at the raspy growl his words take on. She lifts her face from the crook of his neck and that devilish look from before is back and better than ever.

“Not before me, you’re not.”

She swings down on him with purpose, racing for the finish line. He’s immersed in watching her until she stills her hips, mouth falling open as her eyes snap shut.

“Oh, oh Shawn!”

He’s reeling from her pleasure and isn’t ready when the wave of his orgasm knocks him down under her. He screams and it’s like nothing she’s ever heard. He’s out of control now, hips bucking wildly up against her until she loses her balance on his chest and flattens on top of him. As he roils beneath her, she hastens to untie him, unable to stand the absence of his hands anymore. As soon as he’s loose, he rips his hands from the constraints and holds her fast against him. The storm has passed but he’s twitching and sputtering breath and she’s soothing him as much as she can with soft pecks against his neck and warm caresses down his arms.

He falls silent and she lifts herself away, smiling at the noise of discontent they both automatically make at the loss of contact. She stumbles into the bathroom for a damp washcloth, cleaning herself up and making her way back to him to do the same.

He’s never felt more satiated in his life as he lies there limp, watching her wipe him up. She tosses the washcloth away, making a “swish” sound when it lands in his hamper. He barely has the energy to chuckle.

She’s perched next to him, cross-legged and flushed from head to toe, eyes sparkling.

“Was that too much?” she asks, resting a hand on his chest. He flinches a little and her eyes dart to his.

“That was so perfect,” he promises, “Thank you. Thank you for… doing that for me.”

“I really enjoyed that, if you couldn’t tell,” she chuckles, folding herself down beside him and resting her head inside his arm.

“I have a question,” he murmurs after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Shoot.”

“Do you still have your Catholic school uniform?”

++++++++++

May 16th, 2020

She’s plucking curiously at his 1959 Taylor, sitting on the edge of the air mattress, the only thing left in her room. He’s leaning on the mantle of her fireplace looking around at the naked walls and clean floors. He sighs and slides his phone back in his pocket, pitching himself off the wall to climb onto the bed behind her. He cradles her between his legs and smiles at the memory of the first time they sat like this and the electricity he felt positioning her fingers to play his song.

He hears what’s supposed to be “Surface,” one of her favorites that didn’t make the cut for his upcoming album. It doesn’t sound the same because she doesn’t know the notes and can’t play the instrument. He likes watching her anyway. When she exhales and goes to move the guitar out of her lap, he latches onto it, trapping her between himself and the instrument. He sits up straighter and slides an arm around her hips to drag her flush against his chest. He starts playing around her, feeling her laugh as the guitar’s vibrations sing through her torso.

She tilts her head back onto his shoulder and watches his face as he mouths the words and head bobs his way through the melody he worked so hard on. When the last note fades out, she noses at his jaw for attention and greedily accepts the kiss he offers.

“Last night in your house,” he whispers, his eyes wandering the room again.

She’s quiet for a minute. “Is it ok that I’m sad?”

He nods. “You get sad when the landscapers cut the coconuts off the palm trees by the pool. I’m surprised you’re not sobbing into my chest.”

She half-smiles wistfully. “Everything happened here. I took a little tiny life in Virginia and brought it out here and it grew and grew into something… something I know that I could tell my 13-year-old self about and she’d be so fuckin’ proud of me.”

He moves the guitar off her thighs and cuddles her close.

“She’s not the only one,” he murmurs into her neck, kissing a fading mark he left there days ago.

They make love on the air mattress that night and Lilly cries a little as he snuggles her to sleep. They wake up, make one last batch of coffee in the French press she’s broken half a dozen times and he sits downstairs and finishes packing her suitcase while she shares an emotional goodbye with her roommates of the last two years. Sammi will be by to help unpack tomorrow with her new boyfriend that Lilly and Shawn haven’t gotten to grill yet. The others will be women she knows she won’t see again soon.

They pack up the last few Goodwill bags and leave her key inside. He drops her suitcase in her trunk and walks back up to find her staring at the empty pool, clutching the wing of the gold dragon in her hand, looking studious. He notes the slice of thin plastic superglued to a hole in the wing she repaired on the day of the 4th of July party.

“That was a good patch, it held for two years,” he points out. She nods listlessly.

“I love this pool,” she whispers, her voice cracking.

“I know.”

“This pool brought me you.” She covers her mouth as the tears gather heavy in her eyes. He stands beside her at the edge and threads a hand in the back of her hair. He rubs her scalp gently as she tries to compose herself.

“Hey, I have an idea.”

She looks over at him as he shuffles his phone out of his pocket and opens the camera app.

“Let’s take a selfie in front of the pool, where it all started.”

Her heart swells. She nods and steps in next to him as he decides on the best angle. After some muttering and shifting, he pulls her into his chest by her shoulders, arm wrapped over her hair securely. He holds the phone high to catch as much of the pool in the background as possible. They smile and though she complains her eyes are red with tears, they agree it’s cute. He posts it on Instagram with the caption: this pool’s been good to us. Peace out, Burbank!

He decides to wait until they’re at their new house in Hollywood to tell her he’s already inflated the replica of the golden dragon he ordered. It’s waiting for them in their new pool.

++++++++++

Rolling Stone Magazine, June 2020

My first thought upon entering the warm and comfortable, but still sprawling Hollywood Hills home is this: Shawn Mendes has got it made.

At 21-years-old, he has four multiplatinum records under his belt and has played for over 120,000 people at once in festivals thousands of miles away from his hometown of Pickering, Ontario. It’s a far cry from his start covering artists like Ed Sheeran and John Mayer on the now-defunct 6-second video app, Vine.

But what he’s really enthusiastic about right now is this house. He greets me at the door in his now signature second skin-like black jeans and a Maple Leafs t-shirt. He’s built and beautiful, his face cherubic in its innocent perfection, and it’s easy to see why he leaves a mob of shrieking girls in his wake wherever he goes.

He gives me the grand tour and it is stunning. I comment on how remarkably put together it looks, considering how recently he and his girlfriend moved in. He’s proud of that and offers little anecdotes about hanging art and moving furniture as we make our way through the 6 bedroom home. I might’ve expected something more outrageous for a 21-year-old pop star, a la Justin Bieber, but knowing Shawn for five minutes gives me enough context to understand he wouldn’t go for that.

I see hints of her, one of the main reasons I’m here, throughout the house – a tiny pair of gold flip flops by the pool, family photos of a smiley strawberry blonde in Disney World, a box of nail polish on a coffee table. She is conspicuously absent as Mendes’s team warned me she would be. When I asked him about it, he doesn’t hesitate to explain.

“She’s busy, she works a real job with real hours,” he laughs, settling into a very comfortable but expensive looking sofa overlooking their pool deck. He sets a gorgeous acoustic guitar in his lap and fiddles with it, “She also doesn’t feel the need to be a big part of the press for all this. She doesn’t want to become a personality for the sake of the album.”

Titled “Her,” it’s a 24-track concept album in chronological order according to the events of their relationship, separated into acts by locations: Burbank, Barcelona and Malibu. Simplified, the album weaves a tale of a slow-burn romance. He met her at a 4thof July party at her house and was swept off his feet immediately. She shut him down, politely and sweetly, he promises, and their friendship blossomed. Eventually, inevitably, it became something more.

When asked about the acts as told by locations, he smiles.

“That was her idea, actually. I wanted a way to sort of map things out and I liked the idea of dividing the relationship on the album into meeting, friendship and love. She pointed out that certain significant things for us have happened in certain places. She was living in Burbank when we met and I didn’t have a place in LA so when I was in town, I was usually hanging out with her there. Then she visited me on tour in Barcelona, which is when we got together. And Malibu, Malibu was the tough one because early on in our friendship, we drove out there to the beach and had this, like, perfect day. And we kept going back every chance we got. So Malibu representing the current state of our relationship feels right because that’s our favorite place.”

This album is the ultimate love letter from Mendes to his girlfriend, Lilly Parker, 26, a native of Northern Virginia who transplanted to Los Angeles only weeks before meeting Mendes. Heart-rending without being lovesick or melodramatic, he says this album challenged his storytelling skills in a way that pays homage to her.

“She’s a writer, too, actually. A lot of short stories and a few screenplays.” He says it with a proud, if smitten, smile.

Like his last album, “Her” embraces a mix of genres, touching on Sheeran-y love ballads, blazing rock anthems and funky R&B. His beating heart is emblazoned in song (on CD and vinyl and, of course, your digital retailers) with unapologetically honest lyrics about falling in love with his best friend. I asked him what her reaction was when he admitted to writing more than an album’s worth of songs about her when they weren’t even an item yet.

“It was scary. I didn��t want her to feel guilty about it. She knew from the beginning of our friendship that all she had to do was say the word and that would be it, I’d be all in. It was kind of a weird power imbalance that I know bummed her out. But she was ok with it [the album]. I could tell she was curious about what the tone of it was, if it was broody and tortured, but she didn’t really ask. She just said she looked forward to hearing it.”

Mendes has been a sex symbol for the One Direction set since 2016 but this album has made him a romantic hero. Beyond the ins and outs of their relationship, every song gives us a piece of Parker to the point where Mendes’ fans, the self-appointed Mendes Army, feel like they know her as well as they know him. If he is their king, she is their queen, greeting her subjects through the medium of Instagram Stories that range from her babbling about breaking her beloved French press to thanking them whole-heartedly for supporting her boyfriend’s career. Having waded through dozens of these saved into compilation videos on YouTube, she is clearly as genuine as he is.

Their other window into her life, of course, is through Mendes. He writes about her earnestly and in a way that isn’t entirely through a love-drunk lens. He writes about her own insecurities, specifically her challenges with an eating disorder, in a way that is both respectful and completely selfless.

“Her” plays like a romantic movie with an ending that will break the hearts of all Mendes’ young female fans because he is very much off the market. He’s downright domestic at this point. She calls him as we’re wrapping up the first meeting of our interview to ask what he wants to order for dinner. He looks as enchanted as the day they first met and tells her he was just talking about her. I get the sense he tells her that pretty often.

+

When I return to the Mendes-Parker home, she’s there to answer the door. Barefoot and bare-faced, she’s as likeable as she seems without an ounce of falseness. We chat easily as she leads me to the pool deck where Shawn is on a patio chair strumming a battered acoustic. She has lemonade and lunch ready – her Italian father’s lasagna recipe – and I ask her if her hospitality is a result of her southern upbringing.

“Oh, no, not at all. I don’t consider myself southern. No, this came out of the Reese Witherspoon playbook. Doing stuff like this makes me feel like a grown-up, which appeals to me now that we have a house and everything,” she responds, gesturing to her cheat sheet, a hardback copy of “Whiskey in a Tea Cup,” Witherspoon’s 2018 lifestyle release.

“We tried to throw a grown-up dinner party last week, too,” Mendes says with a chuckle. She laughs at the memory and plants herself on the armrest of his chair. They graciously let me in on their inside joke.

“It started out very adult-y. We had wine in decanters and appetizers and stuff. And then it devolved into a drunken pool party,” Parker explains with an eye-roll.

Their shared childlike exuberance over getting to play house is very endearing. Despite their age difference, they rest on the same plane of emotional maturity that, with the exception of their use of words like “grown-up” and “adult-y” is beyond their respective years.

Parker, to her credit, seems exceedingly normal in a very stable, raised-well-on-the-East-Coast sort of way. She’s not around a lot during my time with Mendes because she works a steady job as an assistant in film production. She lends backing vocals on “In Her Skin” and even boasts writing credits on “Purple” but when she says she has no musical ambition at all, you believe her. She drives a 2016 Jetta, wears Vans and is so polite you assume upon meeting her she must be Canadian, too. It’s not hard to see why they’re compatible.

While we eat our delicious homemade lunch, I ask about their routines. Predictably, they explain that it depends heavily on his schedule. When he’s away, she has a tight-knit group of friends to call on so the house doesn’t feel quite so large and empty. When he’s in town, they are homebodies. They admit to venturing to hip new restaurants on occasion (she’s a lifelong foodie and converting him) but rarely hit up bars or clubs. Their favorite activity is roadtripping out to Malibu where they have their favorite spots and beaches and no, they won’t tell me where.

Looking around, I can see why they don’t leave the house often. It’s in a quiet, not-too-flashy neighborhood. It’s private without being completely withdrawn.

“I sit out here and write all the time,” Mendes says, gesturing around him to their tastefully elegant pool deck.

“We both do,” Parker pipes up. She nods to a set of chairs on the other end of the deck. “He’s there with the guitar, I’m here with the laptop and we ignore each other.”

Mendes laughs and agrees.

Parker excuses herself after lunch. She offers me a warm hug and explains her best friend is flying into LAX and she’s off to pick her up. She leaves Mendes with a peck on the cheek and a lingering look of affection that stirs something even in my old, cold heart. Below is the rest of my interview with Mendes.

Writer: So why a concept album?

Mendes: There are plenty of other things I could’ve written about. I have a ton of songs I have written that aren’t about her, or us. And for a while, that was the plan. I was going to write another album of mixed ideas and talk about stuff like touring and running around with my best friends, or about the anxiety that comes with all of this sometimes, kind of more in the same vein of my previous albums. But the songs about her were just… better. I tried to ignore it for a while. It felt like a bad idea at first.

Writer: Because it might not last forever?

Mendes: Partly, yeah. It is something that, god forbid if we ever broke up, it would be this big piece of my music that I couldn’t just shove under a rug and never play anymore. And that could be really painful, to keep playing it and keep revisiting this part of my life. But also because I was worried it might not be that relatable. That’s the thing about making an album with lots of different tones and stories – there can be something for everyone. But when you’re using an album to tell one story, and many sides of that story, about one relationship, I worried people might not get that and might not be into that.

Writer: What made you decide to go for it?

Mendes: Once I had all the songs written and a rough idea of the way the album would work, like with the three acts and the chronology of it, I played it for people. I played it for Camila [Cabello] and Ed [Sheeran] and Niall [Horan] and they all agreed it was the album I needed to release at that time. I told them my concerns and they reminded me that a good story speaks for itself and I shouldn’t question that.

Writer: Another thing that drew a lot of attention to this album was your music video for “In Her Skin.” Whose idea was it to include her in that?

Mendes: The director pitched the treatment and I said no pretty quickly. I didn’t think she’d have any interest in doing that. I was surprised when she said she was up for it.

Writer: Why did she say yes?

Mendes: Well, she also liked the treatment. She saw the vision. She knew it was going to be sexy and beautiful and tasteful and really commemorate us in a nice way.

Writer: What was it like to shoot?

Mendes: Tense at first. It was weird. We were supposed to just be us in bed but on camera. We both had a hard time with it. But Angela, the director, she just dragged us out of our own heads and made us feel really comfortable. I feel like, watching it now, it was exactly what we wanted it to be. It’s really beautiful, she did an amazing job. And now Lil and I have that forever, which is cool.

Writer: You have a tradition of getting a new tattoo to mark the release of each of your albums. Have you gotten your “Her” tattoo yet?”

Mendes: I haven’t, no. I have it planned, though. And before you ask, it’s a surprise, so I won’t tell you.

Writer: Does Lilly know?

Mendes: She doesn’t, no. She wants to be surprised, too. I love surprising her.

++++++++++

July 3rd, 2020

“This stuff smells really good,” she mumbles, rhythmically thumping her heels against his bathroom cabinets as she sits atop the counter. He stands next to her at the sink washing his face. She’s staring at the container in her hand when he emerges from a towel to look at her.

“That’s one of the reasons I like it,” he confirms, taking the container from her.

“Wait,” she says suddenly, narrowing her eyes at him. He stares back at her.

“Can I do your hair?” she giggles, grabbing his arm and guiding him stumbling in between her legs. He holds onto her thighs to right himself, rubbing his thumbs into her sore quads.

“I dunno, Lil, it’s a scientific process and you haven’t had practice.”

“I’ve seen you do it a thousand times. Plus, you don’t have that much hair, it can’t be that hard. C’mere, show me how much of this stuff you use.”

He knows he can’t resist her flights of fancy and he’s about to leave for tour again so having some time dedicated to her running her little hands through his hair doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Shaking his head with a smirk, he drops the container of hair paste in her waiting palms.

“Here,” he offers, dipping his middle finger into the tub and spreading the paste in her palm, “Rub your hands together. Then… just do what I do.”

She follows his instruction and hooks her legs around his waist to pull him in tighter so she has more control. His groin juts into her lower stomach, making her smile and him inhale sharply. He watches her face as she distributes the paste through his curls. She’s making a study of it, starting at the front of his head and running her hands backwards toward his neck. He’s impressed by how closely her movements mirror his – she must watch him more attentively than he realizes. The thought makes him blush. She sees it start on his bare chest and work its way up to his rosy cheeks. Her heart leaps in her chest at the notion that she can still have this effect on him. She decides to take advantage of it.

She slowly leans in toward him, cupping her sticky hands behind his neck and exerting control. His lips part expectantly as she brushes over them. Before he can gain any traction, she’s trailing her mouth up his cheek bone, kissing his closed eyelid. She maps out a route to his eyebrow, up to a little childhood scar at his hairline, down to his left ear, circling back down toward his jawline and hovering over his lips. He releases a shuddering breath like a chuckle, quirking up the corner of his mouth.

“I love you,” he whispers. She closes her eyes and lets the thought infuse her. The tour will be long and she’ll need those words in that voice with this feeling of him here under her hands, at her will.

“I love you more,” she says, the smile evident in her voice, though his eyes are still blissfully shut.

He makes a disapproving noise and hooks his hands under her thighs, lifting her to head back to the bed they just left. She knows she should remind him of their pre-tour to-do list. But now he’s doing that thing on her earlobe with his tongue that makes her forget her own name and definitely makes her forget that he has to do that last load of laundry to finish packing. She sighs, raking at the curls at the back of his neck as he lays her down on their bedspread and she feels so loved and cared for and cherished that it makes some emotion bubble up in her throat. She chokes out a breath and he lifts his attention from her soft ear.

“You ok?” he pants gently, tucking a hand under her neck and smoothing his thumb down her throat.

“’m ok,” she sniffs, “I just… love you. It hurts sometimes. Like it’s trying to bust out of me and I can’t hold it in. I think I only get like this when you’re about to leave again.”

His eyes drop to her necklace and he licks his lips. She doesn’t complain much about his leaving (if you could even call this complaining) because she can see instantly where it goes in his head. He tucks it away and lets it prick at him when he needs it the least. She feels a responsibility to shield him from her pain most of the time. It’s not a big hardship usually, it’s really the beginning and end of tour when it’s hardest. She tries to focus on their resilience when they’re four months into a six month romp and sometimes he can only shoot her one text in the middle of her nighttime and she doesn’t hear his voice for three days but she’s ok and she’s not falling apart. That strength, wherever it comes from, doesn’t come to her right away and it slips through her hands at the end.

Now it’s their last morning waking up together before he’s alone in a bunk or on a private plane, wondering if she’s sleeping in her shirts or his. He presses a tender kiss to her sternum, feeling soft skin over solid bone, reminding him that even though she feels perfectly sturdy and stable beneath him, having him gone for so long is as hard on her as it is on him. He mouths at her chest lovingly, deciding to leave her some marks to make her smile in the mirror over the next few days. She sighs and her hands are back in his hair and he’s pulling at the boxers she’s wearing, smiling until his face hurts when she kicks them off impatiently.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he whispers earnestly into the skin above her belly button. Her abs contract as he noses his way lower, dragging his fingertips inward from her knees down to her quickly spreading inner thighs. He lifts one innocently probing finger to her folds and inhales as she hisses.

He slides further down the bed until he feels his knees fall off the mattress. He’s sitting cross-legged and focused, scooting her down to meet him by pulling on her calves. She giggles a little but is quickly hushed when he brings her level with his face and suddenly all she can feel and think about is his hot breath. She gnaws on her lower lip with anticipation. He takes inventory of what he notices about her like this, this perfect limbo moment between emotional pleasure and sensation. When he’s ready, and can hear her breathing start to break down from excitement, he separates her lips with his tongue and is ready to hold her jumping thighs down. He blinks in surprise when she makes that little “ooh!” sound she does.

He feels his cock stir in his boxers, but it’s a secondary concern. He takes her inner lips into his mouth, suckling gently, moaning a little at the taste of her. She’s quiet, apart from labored breathing, which isn’t unusual for her. When he’s done lavishing her inner labia for the moment, he swipes up around her clit, feeling her tense beneath him again.

“Oh,” she almost cries. He takes another lap around the same circuit, watching her fingers scrunch their sheets in her hand.

He makes his way around once more, adding a sharp flick over her clit. She practically purrs and it stokes his fire. He notices she’s starting to grind into the mattress, so he tucks a thick finger inside her and watches her double back the other direction, back arching off the bed.

“Oh, Shawn,” she moans like it’s the only word she knows. He wants her to hold on but by the looks of it, she’s so close and he doesn’t really want to play with her right now. He just wants whatever she wants. He slides another welcome finger inside and curls them toward her stomach, humming around her clit, which gets it done every time. She’s thrashing and whimpering and he’s watching her like the ending of his favorite movie.

She’s boneless and affectionate when he crawls back onto the bed and over her body, shedding his underwear on his way. She brings him crashing down onto her with a strong hand to his lower back. He makes a hmphf noise into her neck and chuckles, knowing she feels secure with his weight resting on her. He eases off enough to meet her needy lips, relishing the warmth of her tongue and its familiarity. She’s still a little shaky from the power of her orgasm and he’s happy to nibble on her collarbone until she’s ready. In the meantime, he nestles between her legs and brings eager fingers up to toy with her nipples.

She’s sure she’s the luckiest woman on earth. He’s clinging to her like she’s life itself, still not ready to stop pleasuring her in between stellar orgasms. She stares over his shoulder down the firm, hilly plane of his back. She lifts her heels and digs them into his ass. He laughs into her tender, throbbing skin, which will be all shades of bruised in the morning, and brings himself up to kiss her hard. She loops her arms under his and clutches his shoulders as he guides himself into her, swearing when he bottoms out. She wiggles underneath him teasingly as he’s getting ready to start moving. Propped up by his big, beautiful hands, he shoots her a look and she giggles, she actually giggles, and fuck, there’s nothing like being inside a woman when she’s laughing.

She laughs harder at the look of stunned pleasure on his face from the sensation. He latches onto her right leg and hitches it around his hip, driving in hard. She grunts with him, eyes slamming shut, not so cocky now. He grins, giving her another good thrust like he knows she likes. She tips her head, eyes rolling back as her jaw drops. He whimpers innocently at her expression, committing it to memory.

“God, baby, you’re perfect,” he promises her, smacking a wet kiss on her neck as he starts in earnest, letting the sound of sweaty skin meeting skin overtake them.

She’s never been particularly vocal in bed, so he swallows every utterance like a starving man. She’s meeting him thrust for thrust, gripping his shoulders. He knows she knows she’s leaving marks on his back. She likes that. He decides to up the ante, lowering himself onto his elbows so he’s driving his pubic bone into her clit with every stroke. Her head falls back again, this time with a keening whine. He’s so enthralled, he hardly notices himself peel one of her clawing hands off his back and pin it to the bed above her head, his fingers laced with hers. The intimacy draws her back from a plane of solely physical pleasure. It only intensifies her feelings of desire and overwhelming love. His eyelashes are fluttering on his ruddy cheeks. His lips are at her ear so she can hear everything he’s feeling.

“Shawn, I’m close,” she announces. He hears a reluctance in her voice, a tinge of sadness from the notion that this will be one of the last times they get to do this for a while (but, hell, they do have the whole day). He picks up pace and soon, sooner than he’d like because he swears he could go forever for her, she’s bursting like a ripe berry in his arms and he’s soaking her in. Her clenching, stuttering walls milk him for all he’s worth. A few strong swings and he’s stilling his hips against hers, crying out shamelessly into her shoulder.

A few moments after the strongest orgasm he’s had in a while, he feels her stroking through his hair again.

“I totally fucked your hair up.”

++++++++++

May 16th, 2021

“I just think we’re idiots if we don’t tarp it. I’d say if we were here all the time, we would just check the water levels and don’t worry about it but we’re not. It’s fine, ok? They make those easy retractable tarps and they don’t look too awful.”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, the other hand on the wheel. “That’s fine, babe. I just don’t want to worry about replacing those filters every few months.”

“Agreed,” she hums, settling into her seat and looking out the window as they wind down the tight mountain lane from their new weekend home in Malibu.

It’s early, just past 6am on a Saturday morning. They’re both a little hungover from the night before, having met their friends at their new house off Kanen Rd. for more than a few drinks. She woke him up puttering around their master bedroom searching for her wetsuit in one of the dozens of boxes that surrounded the bed.

He lured her back to bed with a cup of coffee and his assurance that her wetsuit was definitely in that bigger box in the kitchen labeled, rather unhelpfully, “STUFF.” When the coffee was drained, he persuaded her to stay a little longer, digging through her nightstand with one hand while she sucked relentlessly at his pulse point. When he came up with a close replica of that little purple vibrator they once got to know very well, she laughed. He shut her up quickly by flipping it easily into the base of his palm, turning it on with his thumb and pressing it between her legs.

They’re pulling up on the side of the road beside a handful of other cars. He helps her maneuver her longboard down off the Land Rover and argues with her briefly as she determines she can make it down the stairs by herself, of course she can, because he has to get his guitar and the beach bag. He rolls his eyes from the trunk when he hears her bump into a railing and swear. He gathers the beach bag and guitar successfully with one arm and hurries down the cascading concrete steps to hold up the other end of her board, which she acknowledges with a sheepish smile.

“It would be easier if my legs weren’t still shaking from the four orgasms you gave me this morning,” she snickers, glancing over her shoulder at his smug face.

“Orgasms are good for hangovers. It’s science.” She chuckles but doesn’t argue, realizing her head doesn’t hurt much at all anymore.

“You can’t be serious about shipping this thing to Hawai’i,” he comments as they reach the beach and smile at the half dozen or so other people catching surf this early in the morning.

She rolls her eyes and slides the wet suit up over her arms, holding her hair away as she yanks at the zipper. He plants himself on the beach towel he’s spread out and reaches for the bag with his water bottle.

“Buying this board was half the reason we decided to go to Hawai’i this year,” she reminds him, lifting the front end of it into her arms in preparation to head to the water.

“I know, I know,” he sighs placatingly.

“Plus, Mr. “I travel with 14 guitars everywhere I go,” you have no room to complain about my oversized baggage.”

He tips his head back and laughs. “Go get ‘em, Blue Crush.”

She grins at the reference and winks over her shoulder as she marches toward the crashing waves. “Call me if you need inspiration!”

She looks comical rushing out to the water with the longboard taller than she is trailing behind her. She bought it for herself as a “push present,” as she labeled it, for finishing her latest screenplay which is in development talks with a production company in West Hollywood.

He watches with a casual smile as she paddles out looking like something out of a Roxy catalog-inspired wet dream. He reaches for the guitar case and takes out the Martin, plucking aimlessly at it as something nebulously like a song starts forming in his head. He doesn’t bother to tell her as she’s headed for the surf that he doesn’t need her sitting there next to him to be inspired by her, that pretty much just comes with the territory of being her boyfriend. He winces when she takes a dive off the side of the board and feels a rolling sensation in his stomach until she pops back up safely, looking annoyed.

They’re miles from their old favorite haven, Zuma Beach. It wasn’t as good for surfing and word had started to get out that Lilly and Shawn haunted that place like ghosts every opportunity they got. They still go back sometimes either early morning like this or after midnight when they can walk in silence, hold hands and think. She prefers this little cove a guy at the Malibu Surf Shack entrusted her with the location of. It’s surrounded by craggy cliffs, making the descent to the actual beach tricky with any surfboard, much less the mint green vintage longboard she’s been fond of toting around lately. He likes the spot, too, though. It’s quiet and no one seems to mind that he’s always got his guitar. He’s got a whole host of songs ready for the next album, the heavily-anticipated follow-up to “Her.”

He smiles to himself when he considers it may be more of the same if he keeps sitting here staring at her while she frolics in the waves. Writing about her feels like a privilege and he takes every opportunity to do it when the mood strikes.

He turns back to the guitar and starts singing, knowing she can’t hear him from how far out she is, but she’s watching him all the same. He’s looking down at the strings but can feel her gaze as she bobs over the surf, waiting for her wave. She’s got a smile on her face -- he can feel that, too.

After a couple hours, she paddles back in, grinning as he wiggles into his own wet suit to join her. He reaches the water before she’s fully out of it and he helps haul her board back to their spot.

“You looked good out there,” he tells her, knowing he wouldn’t know the difference if she didn’t.

“I’m dying to get you on a surfboard, Shawn,” she sighs, throwing her salty hair over her shoulders and grabbing his hands. She’s pulling him back toward the cold spring Pacific looking mischievous.

“Not gonna happen, babe.”

She huffs and turns away from him, diving under an oncoming wave. He winces at the water temperature and follows her like a drunken sailor after a mermaid. They pop back up on the other side. He’s able to stand but she’s a little over her head. He pulls her in by her arms and wraps her limbs around him. She kisses his cheek and hangs there for a minute while he steadies them against the waves.

When she pulls away from his neck to look at him, they both smile goofily. He lifts a finger to those freckles he still loves on the bridge of her nose, tracing their constellations gently under his callouses. She says nothing and continues running her fingers through his sea-soaked curls, thinking absently he looks like a Beach Boys song.

“I love you,” she reminds him, kissing the pad of his thumb as it rests on her lips.

He grins. “I love you too, Lil.”

+

The real reason they bought this particular house over by Walnut Canyon is because of the tub.

A glamorous jacuzzi tub was not on the list they confirmed with their realtor as “priorities” for the properties they were looking at. It was merely a bonus that came with a house that matched their other, more grown-up requirements -- a three-car garage, a view of the ocean, and Lilly’s various kitchen specifications since she’s begun to fancy herself a Giada De Laurentiis wannabe. But when Shawn saw that tub on the tour of the home, he was a goner. She couldn’t argue with him, really, since he was the one making the actual purchase and she liked the house too, but his effervescent excitement about this tub stumped her.

Now, though, when they stumble in from the beach sometime after lunch at one of the beachside cafes, she’s so grateful for it.

Shawn curls an arm around her waist and kisses her hair, sticky with saltwater and sunscreen runoff. “Can I wash your hair, baby?” he whispers in her ear.

She closes her eyes, smiles and nods. It’s becoming a bit of a routine. They spend hours at the beach mostly away with their thoughts and return home for Shawn to run a bath while Lilly peels out of her wetsuit.

This afternoon, she strolls naked into the bathroom, attempting to brush through her almost waist length hair and struggling. He smiles at her from inside the bath, his chest and cheeks pink from the heat of the water he usually runs a little too hot. 

“Stop, I’ll do that,” he assures her, nodding at her to join him. She hands him the comb and joins him slowly, easing her sore limbs into the water to sit in front of him. He gently tugs at her hips, eager to pull her back against his chest for a few minutes while they acclimate to the heat.

Her eyes flutter as he kisses her neck, nosing at a mark he left a few days ago during their make-up sex after an argument they had about whether or not to attend an event Shawn was too tired for. He wraps his arms around her shoulders and she feels safe closed in against him.

It’s been a long time since she squirmed under his touch with anything but intense arousal. It’s only a memory now, the way she felt that night he got back from tour. Now she knows his body almost as well as her own. This idea occurs to her suddenly, the far away-ness of that time in her life. She turns her head to press a kiss to his jaw.

“D’you remember the day we met?”

He frowns a little, unsure why she’s asking. “Yeah, your 4th of July party. Why?”

She giggles and the water ripples around their interconnected bodies. He motions for her to sit up and she does. He straightens up behind her and starts lathering shampoo in his hands.

“I can't believe I didn’t know who you were,” she whispers with a smile into her knees that are tucked into her chest.

He grins and starts massaging shampoo into the crown of her head. She mewls gently, so easily satisfied by his hands on her scalp.

“If I had, do you think we still would’ve ended up like this?” she asks, turning her head as he reaches the base of her skull.

He shrugs. “I like to think so. Why are you thinking about this now?”

“Just... with what we were talking about the other day. I've been thinking about how far we’ve come since 2018.”

Shawn tries not to physically tighten at her words. One night last weekend when they were at the Malibu house on the couch stretched out, drinking wine and watching The Fast and the Furious for some reason, he mumbled something under his breath about being the one to pick the movies when they get married.

It wasn’t the first time one of them had made some kind of casual comment about their future in their three years together. But Shawn had followed it up rather than kicking it at her and running away, which was their usual pattern.

He looked at her, bleary-eyed and beautiful, and said, “When do you want to get married?”

She flinched visibly and he retreated back into the couch, face going red. She raced after him, yanking at his arm and desperately trying to pull him back out of his embarrassed hole.

“Stop, stop stop!” she whined, shaking her head rapidly and squeezing his arm, “I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all. Do... do you actually want to talk about this?”

He stared at her for almost a minute before his face cleared up inauthentically and he shook his head as though she'd just asked him if he wanted an extra order of french fries at In-n-Out. “Nope, that’s ok.”

They were weird until they fell asleep that night on opposite sides of the bed but woke up as though nothing odd had happened at all. Now, a week later, she’s bringing it up again.

“I didn’t mean to freak you out,” he murmurs, holding her weight as he dips her hair back into the water to rinse the shampoo. She stares up at his reverted face, still beautiful upside down.

“You really didn’t freak me out. You just... surprised me. I mean, this is a thing we should talk about,” she reasons, nodding to herself as he scratches at her scalp. He snickers.

“Very convincing,” he mumbles.

“Theoretically, we could have as long an engagement as we want. So it’s really a matter of when we actually want to get married, right?” she continues.

He stops with her head in his hands above his lap. He cocks his head down at her. “So... if I asked you now, you’d say yes?”

Lilly blinks at him, her eyebrows pulling together slightly. “Well... yeah?”

Shawn almost drops her head in the water but manages to pull her back up and start with the conditioner.

“I... uhm... ok. Good to know,” he stumbles, clearing his throat as he works the pasty strawberry scent through the ends of her hair.

“Just don’t do it weird,” she says after a moment.

“Do what weird?”

“The proposal. Don’t... like... oh god, please don’t ask me on stage. God, I’d die. I’d actually fall over and die. No public engagements, please, for the love of god.”

He tugs at her hair, tilting her head back to look at him. “Are you telling me how I am and am not allowed to propose to you?”

She beams. “No. I’m telling you under what circumstances I will say yes.”

He barks a laugh and pulls her back against his chest, her hair half conditioned and smearing on his stomach. She clamps her hands around his forearm as it straps across her sternum. They’re quiet for a second and Shawn smiles.

“What?” she giggles.

“I already know how I’m proposing to you.”

“What?” she asks again, no longer giggling.

He smirks. “I’ve had it worked out for months.”

She’s flabbergasted. “And?”

“And it’s a fucking surprise, Lil, I can’t tell you,” he chuckles, rocking her back and forth in his arms.

“But--”

“No.”

She huffs and leans her head back on his shoulder, eyeing him. He looks placidly determined.

“Fine. I think you should ask me next year, then.”

“Ok,” he agrees with a nod like that falls right into his plan.

“Ok?” she parrots.

“Ok.”

They’re quiet again. He pushes her out from his chest and finishes conditioning her hair, rinsing it under the faucet while he finger combs through it and she starts falling asleep in his hands. Ever so gently, he brushes a wet thumb over her cheek to wake her up, signaling it’s time to get out.

They stand up and dry off without another word, separating to their respective closets to change. They regroup on the bed for a midday nap with Shawn pulling at her drying clumps of hair and humming his favorite from the “Her” album, “Barcelona” under his breath. She passes out on his chest and it’s dreamless and perfect because he’s there and he always will be.

Taglist: @the-claire-bitch-project @crapri @smallerinfinities @blush-and-books @abigfatmess @charliesclout @ashotofblues @kitykatnumber @herecomethefeels @stillinskislydia

[mill3nniumforc3]

200: My crush’s name is: Russell :) 199: I was born in: April 1994 198: I am really: energetic 197: My cellphone company is: Verizon 196: My eye color is: hazel 195: My shoe size is: 7.5-8.5, depending on the shoe 194: My ring size is: 7.5 193: My height is: 5′5″ 192: I am allergic to: penicillin, cats, pollen, and strong scents 191: My 1st car was: I’ve never owned my own car. 190: My 1st job was: babysitting. First real job was a desk job at my university 189: Last book you read: I don’t remember. I don’t have time to read for leisure. 188: My bed is: comfy 187: My pet: Seamus the miniature schnauzer and Sugar the Aussie-mo 186: My best friend: Ashlyn 185: My favorite shampoo is: Dove 184: Xbox or ps3: neither 183: Piggy banks are: for kids and rainy days 182: In my pockets: nothing 181: On my calendar: going river tubing on Saturday, party next Saturday, trip for T’s birthday weekend, and possibly going to Kennywood and Kings Island sometime in August. 180: Marriage is: something for my future self 179: Spongebob can: do anything 178: My mom: is the bestest 177: The last three songs I bought were?: who buys music anymore? 176: Last YouTube video watched: probably an ASMR video 175: How many cousins do you have?: too many to count 174: Do you have any siblings?: three sisters 173: Are your parents divorced?: no 172: Are you taller than your mom?: yep 171: Do you play an instrument?: piano, drums, bells, and I know three chords of the guitar 170: What did you do yesterday?: sleep [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: sure 168: Luck: yes 167: Fate: maybe? 166: Yourself: depends on the day 165: Aliens: not really... 164: Heaven: yes 163: Hell: Do I believe in it? Yes, because God is just. Do I believe people are damned there? No, because God is loving. 162: God: yes 161: Horoscopes: no. It’s funny to see “horoscope” posts and see if they apply to me, but it’s a bunch of b.s. A bunch of Aries aren’t going to have the same day/month/year. That’s ridiculous. 160: Soul mates: I’m not sure if I do or don’t, but I do believe in love. 159: Ghosts: no 158: Gay Marriage: of course! 157: War: it’s an unfortunate and unnecessary part of life 156: Orbs: no 155: Magic: yes [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: both 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: no comment 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: hot 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: spring 146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: straight 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s (though I’m probably biased because I work there) 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: both 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: neither 136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 135: Burried or cremated: I want to be cremated and have my ashes buried with a seed and grow into a tree 134: Singing or Dancing: dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: neither 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Kat 131: Small town or Big city: small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben 128: Manicure or Pedicure: mani 127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas. My birthday stopped being special after I turned 19. I get good food every year on Christmas. 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: Six Flags 123: Yankees or Red Sox: Indians [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. 121: George Bush: he had some good policies. Better than Trump, that’s for damn sure. 120: Gay Marriage: should never be illegal again. 119: The presidential election: #FuckTrump #VoteBlueNoMatterWho #ImpeachTheMF 118: Abortion: all my life, I was told to be pro-life. These days, I don’t know anymore, but I think my beliefs are closer to pro-choice than pro-life. 117: MySpace: it’s not 2008 anymore. 116: Reality TV: glad it’s not my life 115: Parents: they’re doing their best. I’m not looking to be one anytime soon though. 114: Back stabbers: bye! 113: Ebay: Amazon is better. 112: Facebook: these days, I use it to get laughs and memes. I don’t interact with people I know IRL much. 111: Work: good for the money. Not good for my mental health. 110: My Neighbors: they’re ok. 109: Gas Prices: #ThanksTrump 108: Designer Clothes: I can get good clothes at Target. The only “splurge” I do for clothes is at Spencer’s or Kohl’s. 107: College: I plan to go back soon. 106: Sports: entertaining. 105: My family: family is life. 104: The future: anything can happen [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: Tuesday. 102: Last time you ate: a couple hours ago (chik’n patties and cheese) 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: last week. I saw a manager I hadn’t worked with in like a month. 100: Cried in front of someone: Monday 99: Went to a movie theater: July 2nd 98: Took a vacation: June 97: Swam in a pool: back in February 96: Changed a diaper: I don’t remember 95: Got my nails done: way too long ago 94: Went to a wedding: in April 93: Broke a bone: 2017 (broke my toe) 92: Got a piercing: 2006 91: Broke the law: never. I’m a good person. 90: Texted: three hours ago [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: Russell 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog 87: The last movie I saw: in theatres, Toy Story 4. At home, Adventures in Babysitting. 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: being off on Saturday 85: The thing im not looking forward to: working tomorrow 84: People call me: Vonnie, Vonn, Bonbon, Sophia, and “the girl” 83: The most difficult thing to do is: not cry while watching Grey’s Anatomy 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: Aries 80: The first person i talked to today was: my sister 79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten. His name was Wally, and we were “boyfriend and girlfriend” til about third grade, and we remained friends til we graduated 8th grade. Haven’t talked to him much since. 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Russell 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Sunday 76: Right now I am talking to: nobody because it’s 3:30am 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I hope to be teaching English education 74: I have/will get a job: I currently work at McDonald’s, but within the next 6-12 months, I’ll be moving out of state, so who knows where I’ll work.  73: Tomorrow: work 72: Today: work 71: Next Summer: I’ll be in a whole new state, so that means new amusement parks to visit and rollies to ride. 70: Next Weekend: party. Oh, and next Saturday makes officially 18 months with me and Russell, so go us! 69: I have these pets: two dogs 68: The worst sound in the world: the beeping in the headset when I work back cash. It haunts my nightmares 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Heather because she sends me to back cash all the time 66: People that make you happy: Russell, my mom, my dogs, Ashlyn, and Aunt Dolly because she sends me lives on Candy Crush 65: Last time I cried: Monday 64: My friends are: Ashlyn, Mikayla, Jon, Rilee, Lamar, Tae, Alexus, Clare, Katie, Mario, and Kel 63: My computer is: all mine because I bought it with my own money 62: My School: not in school  61: My Car: don’t have one 60: I lose all respect for people who: lie 59: The movie I cried at was: Avengers: Endgame 58: Your hair color is: natural 57: TV shows you watch: Grey’s Anatomy, Once Upon a Time, House, The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, and... I don’t really watch TV because I don’t have cable. 56: Favorite web site: YouTube 55: Your dream vacation: Just a big coaster trip 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: my period this month. I had cramps for days leading up to my period that were so bad that, the day my period actually came, I couldn’t stand straight. 53: How do you like your steak cooked: I don’t eat steak 52: My room is: a mess, like my life 51: My favorite celebrity is: NPH 50: Where would you like to be: with my boyfriend 49: Do you want children: someday, but not today 48: Ever been in love: ohhh yes. 47: Who’s your best friend: not answering again 46: More guy friends or girl friends: i think i have a fair amount of both 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: this is tmi, but sex with my bf. 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Russell 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: yes 41: Have you pre-named your children: I don’t have any definitive names, but I’m thinking MaryGrace Linda for a girl, and James Sebastian for a boy 40: Last person I got mad at: Anna because she put me on back cash 39: I would like to move to: someplace south 38: I wish I was a professional: dancer.... no, writer.... no, why not both? [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: peanut butter cups 36: Vehicle: Jeep 35: President: FDR 34: State visited: North Carolina (not just saying that because I lived there for two months) 33: Cellphone provider: Verizon 32: Athlete: Trevor Bauer 31: Actor: Justin Chambers 30: Actress: Amy Poehler 29: Singer: Chester Bennington 28: Band: Linkin Park 27: Clothing store: Kohl’s 26: Grocery store: Marc’s 25: TV show: Grey’s Anatomy 24: Movie: 13 Going on 30 23: Website: Pogo 22: Animal: seal 21: Theme park: Cedar Point 20: Holiday: Christmas 19: Sport to watch: baseball 18: Sport to play: softball 17: Magazine: I only read magazines at the dentist office, and I’ll read whichever has an interesting cover story 16: Book: A Series of Unfortunate Events 15: Day of the week: Saturday, as long as I’m not at work. If I’m working, then Mondays, I guess... 14: Beach: Huntington 13: Concert attended: Winter Jam, because I got to see Skillet play, and I met Matthew West. 12: Thing to cook: desserts 11: Food: eggplant parm 10: Restaurant: Olive Garden 9: Radio station: Star 102 8: Yankee candle scent: vanilla 7: Perfume: I don’t wear perfume 6: Flower: Daisies 5: Color: pink 4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres 3: Comedian: Steve Rannazzisi 2: Dog breed: I really like terriers lol 1: did you answer all these truthfully ?: For me to know and you to find out :)

[remembermemorablememories]

Monday, February 11, 2019

post #399

main points:

- visit starbucks reserve roastery again

- get dim sum at din tai fung / stop by barneys

- walk to pike place market to get some cherries

- walk to gameworks and play left 4 dead 

- walk over to underground tour

- thai dinner with andrea, toby and jwoos

- pack up

writing this on wednesday february 13

today i:

- woke up at 10am and chilled in bed for a bit before jwoos woke up at 10:30am. then we both got ready and left the airbnb around 11am. we walked over to starbucks reserve roastery again

i got my mom some coffee beans, sun brazil, which is supposed to be a lighter coffee with citrus-y flavors. it’s the one we tried a few days ago at the bar the first time we went. jwoos got an affogato type thing, then took some pics of the baristas

we left and then walked through the convention center area to din tai fung in the pacific place shopping center. before we went up to the fourth floor for dim sum, we stopped by barneys new york. jwoos wanted to see what size shoe he’d need for a shoe he was interested in, it was like a white leather type shoe that cost $400 retail. it was in european size so he needed to find his equivalent. he’s gonna buy it for resale cause retail way too much

- ate lunch at dim sum. we split xiao long bao (they were tiny o_o), fired noodles, and a pork rice wrap appetizer. it was pretty good overall, but the soup dumplings were soooo tiny

- walked down to pike place market again to get some cherries. jwoos got some chocolate cherries as souvenirs to bring home. then we walked around the basement area again, looking at some shops. we looked at a japanese store and an artists’ shop. just browsing around trying to figure out what to do. it started snowing again outside... T.T and the flakes were actually like huge... adding to the already existing pain of walking in the snow

- we walked back to the convention center to check it out but there was a microsoft event going on, called microsoft ready (?). it was closed off to public so we were like... now what?? it was 3:30pm and we planned to go to the underground tour with andrea for 6pm. we saw gameworks was right across the street so we went there. we browsed around looking at arcade games and saw an esports section with PCs and consoles. we signed up for an hour for left 4 dead 2 and played from 4:15-5:15pm ish. it was pretty fun, though i sucked LOL. jwoos carried pretty hard. and also i think the mode we played may have been on easy or something, cause i remember playing with dimitri and martin in singapore and it was hella hard then. idk what campaign we played but it was in a circus area and the last part was fighting in a concert area

- walked over to the underground tour in pioneer square. that walk was like 20 minutes but it was suuuuuper rough. it was like light flurries, sort of rainy. the sidewalks were covered in snowy slush as a result from the snow earlier today and then the subsequent rain ish. my shoes got super soaked... feels bad man. super uncomfy and it was fairly cold, like 30 degrees. i just wanted to be at home and warm and dry

- we got to the underground tour, around 5:50pm, just before it started, bought our tix. then we were brought upstairs for a history talk/lesson. andrea and toby were a bit late (like 5 minutes) but were fortunately able to make it in and sat down with us :D 

we learned about crappers and the seattle spirit (being stubborn about potentially terrible ideas), the first mayor, and other stuff. the tour guide was interesting... toby described her as deadpan and i think that’s a good description. her jokes were funny at times but also kinda weird LOL. after the history talk, we walked around the surrounding areas being brought underground. there were 12 of us total (including the tour guide). she told us about the history of why there is an underground. there were actually stores down there during that time before they built over it to the main sidewalk, we saw some cool purple glass tiles above us that were on the sidewalk. they were purple because of the material that they were made of. after enough sunlight they change color. there was apparently a ghost hunter episode or something done here in 2007 where they were inconclusive about the results after living down here for 3 nights. also it was really moggy, like mold growing above us on the ceiling, water seeping through from the rain/snow above :s

we finished like an hour and a half later and ended up in the gift shop around 7pm

- then we took the link back to capitol hill. first time riding the public transit, yay :) it was interesting cause they only had one line but pretty smooth. they have a caltrain like card tapping system where you tap in and tap out which is neat

- we got thai food dinner at manao thai street eats. i got pineapple fried rice and we just hung out talking. it was nice, we got to learn more about toby and his work life. we also talked about the trance music played in cal anderson park a few days ago, seattle vs NYC, joking about april fools pranks/instagram followers, and other stuff. lots of laughter and fun :) 

we said good bye to andrea and toby and then jwoos and i walked back to our airbnb. ugh it was so bad out :( my feet were so cold and soaked, we’d done a lot of walking today in the snow. since seattle doesn’t have infra to handle snow, most uber/lyfts weren’t driving around much

- we got back home, each took a shower, then packed up all of our stuff. i packed up all my dirty clothes, laptop and stuff, figured out how to get the two shoes in there, and then called it a night. we decided to wake up at 4:30am tomorrow to catch our flights, so i went to sleep around 11:30pm/12am

the end!

[your-modern-shakespeare]

A Little Too Real (8)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5

Summary: RealityTV!AU- You are a wardrobe supervisor for a popular TV network. The show is planning a reality TV show like the bachelor and Bucky is the newest contestant. But as the competition starts he realizes that he doesn’t like any of the girls…on the show anyway.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 8830 (Jinkies guys!)

A/N: This is such a long time coming and I know I was trying to post it on Monday but where I was going to originally end it wasn’t good enough for me, so that’s why this is almost 9,000 words. So sorry about that but I hope you guys enjoy! Y/H/C- You Hair Color (P.S. Happy Birthday to my sister @star-arm-and-shield who is 18 today!)

Warnings: angst, fluff, stalking situation (Kind of), attempted kidnapping, violence, (I promise it’s not as bad as the warnings)

Week 5

Y/N’S POV

We left the wardrobe trailer and Bucky headed to the makeup and hair trailer. I stuck with Wanda and Asa, but she had to leave to go and check on the girl's wardrobe before the cameras started rolling. I showed him to the area where we could sit and watch the show as it filmed.  

“So you watch the show?” I asked him with a smile on my face.

“Do I have to answer?”

“If you want to get caught up before we start filming.”

“Yes, I watch the show...with my girlfriend.”

“Why haven’t I heard about her?”

“Because I haven’t seen you in years and when we talk or text its short and about work. Also you’re like my weirdly more successful than me daughter and I don’t know, it seems strange to talk to you about girls.”

“I’m a good listener.”

“Even if you were my biological daughter, I don’t think I could talk about my love life with you.”

“Then I guess you wouldn’t be comfortable with mine.”

“You have one?”

“No.”

“You and lover boy seem pretty...smug.”

“James and I are close but friends.”

“Not with the way he looks at you.”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that.” I mumbled, not thinking he heard me.

“What do you mean?”

“What? Nothing.”

“No. I’m not the first person to point this out to you, am I?” All I did was glare at him. “You like him and you won't just admit it.”

“You want to know what’s happening? They’re about to start.”

“This conversation isn’t over, but yes.”

“How many girls were left when you last watched?”

“Seven girls left.”

“So, the two girls that got kicked off last week were…” I paused, really letting him stew, “Emma...and Chloe.”

“What?” He said completely surprised.

“Yeah…”

“What happened? Chloe was one of the girls at the very top. She could have easily been in the top three, I thought he liked her.”

“There’s a good reason?”

“And that would be?”

I took a second and thought about whether or not to tell him. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea about the two of us, because even I had been thinking about why he kicked her off lately, but I also knew that he probably already had the wrong idea about us.

“She was kind of kicked off because of me.” After I said that he had this look in his eye, like he knew why. “Not for what you’re thinking.”

“Then what?”

“Well I told you about that infection that I had, from my surgery. On the day before the last day of filming for the week I was really sick. I was pushing off the way that I felt because I knew that James couldn’t skip filming and I figured it would just go away. But it didn’t and Chloe came up to me and started making accusations about the fact that James was helping me so much. While we were talking I asked for her help grabbing my oxygen tank out of my backpack, because the pain was so bad that I just wanted to stop breathing, I thought that was a bad sign. She grabbed the backpack but kept it out of my reach, telling me to never see him again. So I stood up and tried to go after the bag, which I shouldn't've been doing. We fought over the bag and she let go making me fall to the ground. I was so in shock that I couldn’t even put the oxygen mask on. James came over and helped me and they called 911 and he told the director that he didn’t want to see Chloe when he got back.”

His eyes got real big and I knew that he had been thinking the same thing as he did earlier, before I had told him the story. He opened his mouth to say something but I stopped him.

“Don’t say it.”

“So you know what I’m going to say?”

“I have a pretty clear idea.”

He didn’t have a chance to say anything else because they started filming and became distracted in the show.

We sat to the side and watched one of the many director’s screens as filming went on. During breaks, Bucky would come over and check on me and the other girls would stare at me as I interacted with him. None of them were brave enough to confront us though, not after what happened with Chloe.

And I had to admit...I couldn’t stop thinking about that dream. I tried so hard not to, but it was a great distraction from everything going on and after I finally came to grips with how I felt about him, the harder it became to keep the idea of him out of my mind.

After filming was done for the day Bucky and I decided to go out for dinner and I gave Asa the keys to my apartment so that he didn’t have to pay for a hotel room.

But having a moment alone with Bucky, away from Tony and Asa and Wanda and everyone else who was worried, actually managed to make me feel better. The truth was, I had been paranoid all day. After Asa and Tony told me that it was more than likely that my grandmother and Jackson were on there way here, I couldn’t stop looking around, wondering if they were hiding somewhere or waiting to make a move. So dinner with Bucky was a much appreciated distraction.

When we ever ate out, when we ever had a moment to leave set, we loved to go out and find a new restaurant to try. And just recently with the broken leg and the wheelchair issue, we hadn’t really had a chance to go out and try something new, so I was pretty excited when he suggested that we go out, despite my broken condition.

And after we ate dinner we went back to the apartment and spent the night watching netflix; I think he caught on pretty early that I needed to be distracted. We stayed up as long as we could, laughing and talking and honestly it was good, it felt really good being with him.

And because of that, later that night after all the nightmares, I wasn’t surprised to find myself going back to my good dream. It was just so easy to get lost with him.

The following day was much like before. I was more tired though probably because of the frequently and crazy switches from dream to dream. So even though I didn’t have a lot to do that day it was hard to stay awake and watch what was happening on the show. Every now and then, Asa would nudge me awake and hand me a cup of coffee, sweetened to perfection and giving me just a little jolt of energy. But as the day came to a close we went back to the apartment ate dinner and continued whatever we had been watching the night before.

Right before we went to bed though I received a call from Peggy.

PC: Hey you!

YN: Hey, What are you up to?

PC: Nothing right now, we’re about to go to bed. But I was wondering if you wanted to do a girls lunch with Wanda and I tomorrow?

YN: I would love to.

PC: Great. I’ll let you know the place and I’m just assuming that you’ll ride with Wanda?

YN: Yeah. We’ll have to go back after lunch so it will be better that way

PC: It’ll be nice seeing you outside of a hospital room

YN: Yeah I know

PC: How are you feeling?

YN: That’s a tough one to answer

PC: That doesn’t sound good

YN: I’ll explain at lunch?

PC: Okay

YN: I’ll see you tomorrow

PC: Bye

YN: Bye

I hung up the phone and looked over at Bucky who was now also on the phone. I waited for him to hang up before I said anything.

“Peggy.”

“Steve.” We said at the same time.

“It seems a little suspicious that they called both of us.”

“Yeah, as long as I’ve known them, I’ve just learned to go with it, though.”

“I guess that’s all we can really do.”

We went to bed soon after our calls, all the while I was hoping to get more sleep than I had previously.

The following morning we did our usual routine, showering, getting dressed, eating breakfast, just like every other day before. We got to work on time, meeting Asa at the house, and started filming for the day. But god, did it take a lifetime to get to lunch.

Everything was just running so much slower today and I’m not sure why, but I was so relieved to make it to our extended lunch. They decided to give us a long lunch today because the girls were filming part of this episode in a different location, one a good distance from the house.

So despite the girls and the guys doing separate things for lunch we were all meeting at the same place and then the guys would leave us girls to ourselves.

Bucky parked his car down the street from the restaurant and came to help me out, like he always did. And as we moved closer to the restaurant we could see Peggy and Steve standing outside, holding hands and looking just as cute as always.

We all said a quick hello to each other before the guys left us to find our table and they went off...somewhere. We went inside and our hostess showed us to a table on their outdoor patio, per our request; the day was just too beautiful to sit indoors.

Peggy and Wanda each ordered a drink and I said everything I possibly could to myself to keep myself from ordering one too. If I wasn’t on medication I totally would have, but I just heard Bucky’s voice in my head telling me that I couldn’t, so I got a water instead.

“So what’s new in the day and life of Peggy and Steve, America’s favorite couple?” I mocked and she smiled.

“You saw me just a couple of days ago, there couldn’t have been that much that happened.”

“I would strongly disagree with that statement.”

“Well then why don’t we just start with you then? You clearly have something to talk about.” She looked a little devious when she said that.

“It’s not going to be what you want to hear.”

“One day it will.” Wanda said and her and Peggy both just laughed at me.

“You guys are crazy.”

The waitress brought over our drinks and we all took a second to take a sip before we would start back in on the conversation. Peggy had her drink in her left hand and I looked over at her briefly when I saw just a little flash of something that hadn’t been there before.

I choked a little on my drink but quickly coughed it out and stared at Peggy with wide eyes.

“Did Steve—did he—?” I tried to ask her.

She held up her hand so we could get a better view at the gorgeous ring on her left ring finger.

“Oh. You mean this?” She asked with a big smile on her face.

Even despite being in a wheelchair, Wanda and I both attacked Peggy with a hug, squealing like little girls.

As soon as we sat down the most important question was asked.

“How did he propose?”

“Well...it’s often very rare that Steve and I have a day off on the same day, so honestly when we did, I should have known that something was up. But it was honestly just a really great day. He made me breakfast in bed and we lounged around and caught up on our binge watching. Then he took me to a very romantic dinner at our favorite restaurant and we went swing dancing, which we hadn’t done in forever. And then it got a little more fishy. He helped me into the car but handed me a blindfold. I was a little skeptical because at this point I knew we had to be planning something but he asked me trust him and I did. So he drove for a while and then he came and helped me out of the car. He put his hands on my waist and led me out to wherever he wanted me, he took off the blindfold but told me to keep my eyes closed, and then he grabbed both of my hands and told me to open my eyes. We were on the beach and there were these lanterns and candles all around us, and I looked at Steve and he was down on one knee. He started talking about these things that I had thought he never noticed and he told me the things that he loved about me and then he asked me to marry him and of course I said yes.”

“That’s so romantic.” Wanda said.

“Yeah, it was.”

“I’m so glad he finally asked you. I’m so happy for you guys.” I said with a big smile on my face.

“Well you two can’t be too far behind now. You know I know a couple of guys—” We both objected to being set up, giving any excuse possible to not have to meet these strangers.

“If we’re not going to talk about boys, then don’t you owe me an explanation?” Peggy said as she picked up her drink to take a sip.

“You know, for a second I forgot that I would have to have this conversation again. But honestly, I think it’s worse now that both of you have alcohol and I have a Bucky voice in my head telling me that I can’t have any.”

“Do you usually have Bucky talking to you in your head?”

“Only when it comes to all the doctor stuff. When the doctor was talking about my recovery I was too loopy to remember anything so Bucky had to  re-explain everything to me.”

“You guys call him Bucky?” Wanda cut in and honestly I forgot that she didn’t know his nickname.

“His middle name is Buchanan, we’ve always called him Bucky as a nickname.” Peggy explained.

“That’s where it comes from?” I said in realization.

“He never told you?”

“We don’t really talk about our pasts too much. And he doesn’t know my middle name, I mean technically I don’t have one so…”

“You don’t have a middle name?”

“Well legally no and...biologically no.”

“What does that mean?”

“I was born with three names as every Russian is, my given name, my last name and then our third name which is a feminine version of my father’s name. So we all have three names and not technically a middle name even though my father’s name would come before my last name. And then when I moved to America my grandparents changed my last name to theirs and took away anything that resembled my father. But after I got married and had to run away them I changed my name back to something that they couldn’t find.”

Peggy’s eyes grew big and her jaw hit the floor. “That was so much information. What now?”

I promised to tell her everything but before that, we ordered our food. So as we waited and later as we ate, I told Peggy the whole story of Jackson and my grandmother.

I was just about to get to the end when I looked up across the street, seeing a familiar face. I stopped talking and stared at him, hoping that it wasn’t real. I closed my eyes hoping that this was just a figment of my imagination, of the sleep deprivation, but when I opened my eyes he was still there.  

“Y/N.” I heard Wanda say, trying to get my attention.

But I just stared at him. I tried to breath but it felt like I didn’t have lungs, I tried to draw my eyes away but I was too scared that he would move closer if I didn’t watch him, I tired to call out for Bucky but he wasn’t there.

When I got the strength to move in the slightest, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, still keeping my eye on him and pressed the speed dial button for Asa.

AV: Hey Y/N. How’s lunch with the girls?

YN: He's here

AV: He’s there?

YN: I’m looking right at him

I looked over at Peggy, she was, more than likely, talking to Steve on the phone and Wanda was waving down our waiter so she could pay.

AV: How far away is he?

YN: Maybe fifty feet.

AV: Is your grandmother there?

YN: Not that I can see.

I heard some cursing in the background and what sounded like keys.

AV: Listen to me, I want you to keep an eye on him until I get there. Make sure he doesn’t get any closer to you.

YN: What’s going to happen?

“Y/N?” I turned around briefly to see a very panicked Bucky walking over to me, followed by a worried looking Steve. He came over to me first thing and bent down to my level, making sure that I was okay. He followed my line of sight over to where Jackson stood.

“Y/N. Look at me.” Bucky said, I almost having forgotten about Asa still on the phone. I turned and looked at him, his face was so much closer than I thought it was going to be, but having him that close was really what relaxed me the most. “It’s going to be okay.”

AV: Y/N? Y/N!

I heard the faint voice and turned my eyes back to Jackson, putting the phone back to my ear.

YN: Sorry.

AV: Is James there?

YN: Yes

AV: Hand him the phone

So I handed Bucky the phone and soon after our waitress finally came over. She tried to hand us our individual checks but Bucky just handed her a couple of bills. Her eyes went wide, but she thanked us for coming in.

“Asa said to bring you back to the house and to make sure that we’re not followed there.” He started to move my wheelchair away from the restaurant, Wanda, Steve and Peggy following us,  but I stopped him before we got too far away.

“He’s not going to come and arrest him?”

“No.” He tried to push again and again I stopped him.

“But he violated the restraining order.”

“Your grandmother’s not here, he wants to get both of them at once.”

“I don’t want to see her.”

“I know.”

This time I let him push me out of the restaurant and over to his car. We said a quick goodbye to Steve and Peggy, wishing them a congratulations on their engagement and we started on the road.

I watched the people on the side of the road, catching one last glance at Jackson as we passed by him walking on the street. I watched him until he completely disappeared from view and Bucky despite having seen him too, took the longest way possible back to the house.

Instead of going right back to filming, Wanda went back to the makeup trailer and Bucky and I went to his trailer waiting for Asa to meet us there.

I was set down on the bed towards the back of the trailer, putting my head in my hands and trying my hardest to get his face out of my mind.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” I threw my head up to look at his sudden and very unexpected proclamation.

“What?”

“I said you look beautiful.”

“You’re just trying to distract me.”

“No I’m not.” I looked at him and saw that he was genuine. 

“Thank you.”

“I know you’ve been feeling pretty down with everything that’s happening and you always do things for other people.” He came to sit beside me on the bed. “I was so happy when Peggy called you because I thought she would give you a chance to take a break from everything. I know that I don’t really do that with all the doctor stuff and now everything with your grandmother. I really wanted to give you a moment of normalcy. I’m sorry you lunch was ruined.”

“It wasn’t ruined. I had a pretty good time. We talked about how Steve proposed and Peggy threatened to set me and Wanda up on blind dates. That’s what girlfriends do. Best friends keep your crazy ex-husband from coming after you and take care of you after you’ve been in an accident and want you to have a girls day so that you can be happy.”

“Really is that the job description for a best friend?” He laughed.

“Well if it isn’t you’ve gone above and beyond.”

“You’re going to make it through this. Next week will be better, I feel it.”

“I hope you’re right.”

We got through the rest of the day with no sightings of Jackson or my grandmother. And honestly that made me more nervous. We got back to the apartment that night and Bucky made us dinner and where sleep came easily for him, it was too hard for me.

He fell asleep facing me that night and I just watched him, hoping that feeling him at peace would give me some. I saw how the lines that were usually on his forehead disappeared, I could see his chest move up and down slowly signifying that he was actually there, and I heard a little snore escape when his lips parted, making me think about how it would feel to really have his lips on mine.

But as the night got later and as I picked out more and more things that I really loved about him, I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to sleep that night. Except, the real issue was that right as I finally began to fall asleep, Jackson’s face would pop up and ruin everything still leaving me quite awake.  So Instead, I would distract myself by retreating back to the dream of Bucky and I, finding a little bit of peace despite not finding sleep.

And the following day was much of the same. Filming, eating lunch, hanging out with Bucky and Asa, trying to hide how completely exhausted I was, being paranoid that my ex-husband and grandmother were stalking me, you know the usual. And the similarities of the day didn’t stop there, they rolled on through to the night.

Except with this night, I laid there watching Bucky, just like before, but the longer I did the more my eyelids began to droop. Sleep had finally come, it felt like maybe just a couple of minutes but it had been long enough for Bucky to get completely ready for the day and attempt to wake me up multiple times.

If I hadn’t already been in a wheelchair he would of had to carry me out of the apartment, I was so exhausted at that point.

We drove to the house for one last day of filming for the week and I honestly had no idea what Bucky was going to do. With everything going on I had never had the chance to ask him about how the week was going, who he was going to keep on the show and who he wasn’t, and honestly it made me feel terrible.

We parked with the other cars and Bucky came to help me out and into my wheelchair once again.

“You look like you’re about to pass out.” Bucky pointed out to me.

“It’s possible.”

“Why don’t you go take a nap in my trailer?”

“You don’t want me at filming?”

“I want you to get some sleep, I know you haven’t been. I’ll be fine without you for a couple of hours.”

“No you won’t.”

“That may be true, but I’ll hide it as best as I can.” I smiled as much as I could and Bucky helped me over to his trailer. He walked me back over to the bed and set me down.

“Bucky?”

“Hmmm?”

“Will you stay with me, for just a little bit?”

“Sure, I have a few minutes.” He climbed in next to me and I wrapped my arms around him, just needing to feel safe for a moment more. “Are you okay?” He asked, definitely feeling how tight I was holding on to him.

“What are you going to do?” I asked instead.

“What...what do you mean?”

“You have one girl to kick off today. We haven’t really talked about anything but me lately and...what are you going to do?”

“You’re worried about me, when you can hardly keep your eyes open and you are literally having the worst month of your life?”

“I just feel bad that all we’ve talked about is—”

“You shouldn’t feel bad.”

“I know that this isn’t what you signed up for—” He pulled me out of his arms far enough so that I could look at him.

“Y/N, if you think for one second that I wouldn’t do anything for you, than you’re insane.”

“I just want you to be happy and with everything going on it just seems like—”

“What makes you think I’m not happy?”

“Because this is crazy. First I’m in an accident then the thing with Chloe and now Jackson.”

“This is about him isn’t it?”

“No.”

“You haven’t been sleeping because of him. Are you thinking about what he did?”

I knew I could be honest with him. “At lunch...I thought that watching him, making sure that he didn’t get any closer to me would help. Now I can’t get his face out of my head, I see him when I close my eyes. If I keep my eyes open I don’t see him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I just hate thinking about what your family did to you, forcing you to marry him.”

“I hate thinking about it too but I guess in a way it helped me realize my dream, it really pushed me to take my life back into my own hands. Which was important.”

“Well I’m thankful for that, I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Whatever, you’re just saying that.”

“No I’m serious. You remember that day when I helped you write out all of those fitting notes?”

“Yes.”

“I was planning on quitting the show that day. I wanted you to be the first person to know and the longer I sat there helping you, the more you convinced me that I needed to do this.”

“What did I say to convince you?”

“It wasn’t anything you said, it was just being with you that reminded me of the audition and everything that everyone had been working on to give me this shot. I couldn’t just walk away.”

“You deserved to be on the show, you deserve to find happiness.”

“Even if I don’t end up with someone on the show...I did find happiness and I found you, so I’m walking away with something.”

“Now you’re really just trying to distract me.”

“I want to help you.”

“With?”

“Falling asleep.”

“Take your best shot.”

“Close your eyes.”

“Bucky—”

“Trust me. Close your eyes and think of nothing, just listen to my voice.” So I closed my eyes and did as he said. “I want you to think of the thing that makes you happier than anything in the world.”

Oh you mean you? I thought to myself.

I know that I shouldn’t have, because he was way too close to me, but my head automatically went back to that dream. I loved the touch of his skin, his hand resting on my cheek, I could feel his other hand making small circles on my lower back, and the whole while he was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I had a hand rested against his shoulder, my arm laid against his chest, and my other arm was wrapped around his waist, keeping him close to me. Honestly it only made it that much harder to not get sucked into my dream, to not get pulled off into the beautiful fantasy of it all. And it turn having him there, having him talk me out of my doubts and be so concerned with helping me sleep, did help keep the nightmares away and keep my eyes closed.

Sleep eventually followed.

BUCKY’S POV

I became distracted. I laid there next to Y/N until she fell asleep, completely forgetting about the fact that I should have already been to hair and makeup. But honestly I didn’t want to leave, I should have known that they would find me though.

I heard a light knock on the door and without me having to say anything I saw Wanda pop her head in. Before she could get too close, I tried to untangle myself from Y/N, seeing that she was so tired that she didn’t have the will to fight me pulling away from her. I hated to leave her, but I really didn’t have a choice...which sucked.

I followed Wanda out of the trailer and she didn’t say anything to me until we both knew that we wouldn’t wake Y/N.

“How is she?” She asked first thing.

“She’s paranoid, which I expected, but she’s tired and hasn’t slept in two days. It makes me feel bad that she doesn’t feel safe enough to sleep at my apartment.”

“I’m sure it’s not that, she seemed really scared when she saw him at lunch and she just stared at him, like if she took her eyes off of him he would move closer or he would do something to her. I’m sure she is having a hard time forgetting that face. I just got a brief glance of him but I know I'm not forgetting him.”

“I’m just worried.”

“Me too.”

We stepped into the hair and makeup trailer and I let them get to work. As they worked I texted Asa, trying to get a hold of him and letting him know that Y/N was fast asleep in my trailer. I was hoping that I could get him to at least be close to the trailer just in case she woke up, I didn’t really want her to be alone.

I sat as the two ladies worked on me and anxiously waited for Asa to respond, Wanda kept talking to me, trying to keep my mind off of things but every now and then I would check my phone to see that there was no response. After they were done with everything, moving quicker than usual since I had been late, I quickly moved to the wardrobe trailer and got dressed, not caring all too much about myself. I knew that since I had gotten ready so fast, I had some time to go back and check on Y/N and maybe even try to find Asa.

So I was making my way back towards my trailer when I actually spotted Asa walking towards me.

“Hey, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you.” I said to him.

“You have?”

“Yeah I texted you.”

“I’m not a texter.”

“Anyway, Y/N is asleep in my trailer, I was hoping you could stay with her while I’m filming so she doesn’t freak out when she wakes up.”

“Um...sure, is she okay? She’s seemed a little tired yesterday but I thought she was doing fine.”

“Yeah she’s just having some trouble sleeping, I don’t want her to wake up alone.”

“I don’t mind waiting there.”

“I’ll show you the way, I was going to check on her before I started filming.”

So we started to make our way over to my trailer and as we got closer, both Asa and I noticed something very wrong.

Walking away from my trailer, in the opposite direction from where we were, were a man and a woman and what looked like a third slung over the man’s shoulder. I automatically recognized it as Y/N with her Y/H/C hair and the long dress that she had been wearing earlier. I think Asa saw it too.

We both rushed over to them but when we got close, Asa withdrew his gun and pushed me behind him. I could feel the anger rise within me, I hated the idea of him taking her away from me, of him even trying to. Just seeing him with her thrown over his shoulder was making me want to cut out in front of Asa and just take him out myself.

“Police! Stop where you are.” They both paused, knowing that they had been caught, both turning very slowly to face us.

“Vanhoose.” Jackson said.

“Put Y/N down.”

“You must always get in the way, this is my wife. I am simply taking her home.”

“Your marriage was annulled, you no longer have any say over what happens to her. Put her down.”

They both looked at each other as if they were coming up with some sort of plan but I was just worried about Y/N and why she wasn’t doing anything.

“James, walk over there.” He said to me. “You’re going to hand Y/N to her friend James here.” He instructed Jackson. I had to admit, that as I moved closer and closer to Jackson the more worried and angry I got, not only because I was very close to a big time criminal, but because I could hear Y/N whispering my name, like she was calling out for my help.  

I grabbed Y/N from Jackson as gently as I could, wrapping my arms around, holding her tight to my chest and trying to figure out what was wrong. I brushed her hair out of her face and tried my best to hold her up. She was trying so hard to keep her eyes open and she just kept saying my name.

“Y/N, I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

I tried to convince her that I was still there but she seemed so out of it, which wouldn’t make sense if she had just been sleeping, she would have woken up. So what did they do to her?

I looked around me to see a few of the security staff was now by us. One was behind me on the phone with the police, one was with Asa, holding back a now handcuffed grandmother and one more was holding Jackson as Asa moved from her grandmother, grabbing his second pair of handcuffs as he moved.

I tried one last time to wake Y/N up but she couldn’t fight the drowsiness. I looked over at Jackson to see a smile on his face and honestly that was the last straw for me. I thought of the way he had been holding her just a few minutes ago, I thought of the possibility of what he did to make her this way, I thought about the story and why Y/N had been so paranoid knowing that whatever he did had to be bad. All of that just added up and all the sudden I couldn’t think straight.

I handed Y/N off to the security guard and then I walked over to Jackson. I used my walk to rev up before I punched him square in the jaw. My fault in doing that though...he wasn’t handcuffed when I did it. Apparently my head, as I went through everything that led me to that point, worked a lot faster than Asa did at getting handcuffs on him. So right after I punched him he broke through the hold of the security guard and punched me right back.

Following his punch was the subsequent tackle made by both the security guard and Asa, only this time it didn’t take nearly as long to get the handcuffs on him. Asa just glared at me as they stood him back up and I walked back over to Jackson.

“What did you do to her?!” I yelled in his face, he just smiled again.

“What’s going on?” Asa asked.

“They did something to her, she won’t wake up.”

The other security guard brought her grandmother to where Jackson was and Asa gave them a stern look that I’m sure had to work on the criminals he interrogated.

“I already have a list of things to charge you two with, let’s not add another one shall we? What did you do to her?”

“We just gave her something to sleep, so she wouldn’t fight us.” Her grandmother mumbled.

“What did you give her?”

“Why does it matter?” Jackson sassed back.

“She’s on other medication.”

“It’s whatever sedative they use at the hospital.” She said.

“You don’t even know what you gave her. I hope you two rot in prison.” I turned away from them went back over to Y/N. I grabbed her in my arms again and asked the security guard to follow me.

If I was right and I remembered the type of sedatives they used in hospitals correctly, then Y/N would be fine. So I went to my trailer and set her down on my bed and instructed the security guard to not leave her side...just in case. As soon as I got her settled in, I rushed over to the house.

I was late. Not by much but I was late. So instead of waiting around for me they went ahead and started filming some of the scenes with the girls which really worked in my favor. I walked up to the house and sat in an extra chair behind the director letting him know I was there. Wanda was the first person to pay me any attention and was very startled by what she saw.

“What the hell happened to your eye?” She said, reaching up to touch my cheek.

“I got punched by a criminal. Is it bad?”

“It’s there. Stay here.” She ran over and grabbed one of the makeup girls and she gave me a weird look before she attempted to cover up the black eye.

“So what were you saying about a criminal?” She directed me back to why I had the bruise.

“Jackson.”

“He was here?”

“Tried to make it off with Y/N.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No. We stopped them just in time though and Asa arrested them.”

“So they’re done.”

“They’re done. But honestly, I thought they were going to put up more of a fight.”

“More of a fight? You’ve already got a black eye.”

“Well I started it, you should see the other guy.” I joked.

“You started it?”

“I just got so angry and I hated thinking about what he could've done to her, but I will say that I should've checked he was in handcuffs first.”

“Awww, look at you...coming to her rescue.”

“I wasn’t going to let him hurt her again...and neither would Asa.”

The makeup artist did the best that she could but there was nothing she could do about the swelling, it would have to go down in time.

So I went through filming, the black eye having earned plenty of sympathy points with the girls, and every time I had a break I would go and check on Y/N. I even found a chance to call Y/N’s  doctor to ask about the sedative and how long he thought it would take for her to wake.

But as the filming finished for the day and the count of the girls went from five to four, I was relieved for the week to be over. I found myself more relieved to know that I had some good news for Y/N.

I went to my trailer first thing and relieved the security guard and he looked glad to be done. I went over to Y/N and tried my best to wake her up but she was deep in sleep. So I carefully moved her out of the trailer and into her wheelchair before I moved her to my car and drove home.

The drive was quiet, I didn’t bother to turn on the music, and every now and then I would just look over at her and see how peaceful she looked. I loved that she was getting some sleep, despite the aid of the sedative.

When I pulled up to my apartment I carried Y/N in and got her settled in the bed before I went about our nightly ritual by myself. I made dinner, I watched Netflix, I even did some laundry and some other cleaning, really anything to pass the time.

But as the night stretched on, I came to a quick realization...I didn’t like doing regular things alone.

I had only had Y/N living with me for a couple of weeks and honestly nothing would be the same. She always helped me cook our meals, even if it was just as entertainment, she always commented on how wrong I did my laundry and explained in detail how to do it right, even watching TV was boring without her talking through most of it.

What would happen when she woke up and I told her that the doctor said that it was okay for her to be on crutches, that it was okay for her to go home?

When I finally headed in for the night, I saw her laying in the same position that I left her in, resting on her back, propped against the pillows, looking as beautiful as before. I went and sat beside her on the edge of the bed, brushing a stray piece of hair off of her skin. I looked at her and just thought about how happy she made me, letting my hand rest on her cheek. I thought about her laugh and how it sounded like the most beautiful sound in the world, like something indescribable and completely her, I thought about the touch of her skin, the tingle and sparks that seemed to electrify mine when our hands brushed or when we held each other close, I thought of her smile...her lips. God I wanted to kiss those lips. I wanted it more than air.

I knew I was in trouble, I had known it from the second I met her, but right in this second, staring at her and being as close to her as I was, I knew I was in deep deep trouble.

I brought my other hand up to her cheek and just held her face in my hands, wanting to memorize the feeling while I still had the chance. My heart was beating out of my chest, it was the only sound that I could hear, and I wished more than anything that it would beat loud enough for her to hear.

And then I did the unthinkable.  

I moved real close to her, my face only an inch from her, my lips an inch from her…

And in a moment of pure unadulterated necessity, I put my lips on hers.

I didn’t linger, I didn’t expect anything to happen, I just wanted to know what she felt like. And it was...nothing like I had imagined. It was so much better.

If I thought I had been in trouble before, I don’t even know what I was now.

I could have died in that kiss and I would have been happy.

I moved off the edge of the bed and silently went into the bathroom. I closed my eyes and leaned against the door for support, the only thing holding me up at this point. When I gained control over my legs I moved to the sink and threw some cold water on my face, trying anything at this point to wipe the memory of her lips from me.

When that didn’t work I opted to go to bed, it being my only option at this point. I laid awake for a while facing away from Y/N tonight, not trusting myself to look at her again.

Sleep came to me as unexpected as sleep does, taking me away from the reality of today and into a dream of what could be.

Ever since Y/N had come to live with me, she had become a constant staple in my dreams. I thought that having her close had caused some wild dreams, ones that I had fought and somehow managed to keep under control, but with the feeling of her lips etched onto mine, it made that barrier of control crash down...hard.

I was definitely in trouble.  

Y/N’S POV

I was definitely in trouble. If I didn’t stop having this dream, or in the case of today’s sleep, make it more elaborate, if you catch my drift, I swear I would go insane. I looked at the ceiling for a few minutes picking out the few spots I had before, results from the sleepless nights. But what I didn’t understand was why I was at Bucky’s apartment. Surely there was no way that I slept through the entire day.

So instead of trying to figure out that mystery I opted to day dream. I looked over at Bucky and how peaceful he was sleeping  and I thought about how grateful I was that he let me stay with him. So I thought about how he made me smile and how infectious his laugh was and how he always tried to make me happy by making me Russian food and telling me jokes in Russian so that we’re the only two people who knew what it meant.

“Well you look happy.” I heard Bucky say, I must have been smiling.

“I guess that’s what good sleep will do to you.”

“Well I would hope so, I don’t think I’ve ever slept for 26 hours straight.” He said eyeing the clock.

“What?! 26 hours? You let me sleep for 26 hours?”

“I didn’t really have a choice.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not that heavy of a sleeper.”

“I know you’re not.” He said smiling. “I wish I didn’t have to tell you this so soon. You looked so happy.”

“Bucky, please tell me what happened.”

He turned and faced me and I automatically noticed the black eye on his face.

“What the hell happened to your eye?!” I said, reaching out to touch his cheek and pulling him closer so that I could get a better look at it.

“It’s nothing. Let me explain.”

He told me everything that happened after he left me asleep in the trailer. I was shocked.

“He was just going to walk away with me?”

“I would have never let it happen.”

“And they gave me a sedative?”

“The doctor said to let it run through your system, that you would wake up by yourself.”

I moved my hand back up to his eye, looking at the bruise. “He punched you.”

“Well I started it.”

“He punched you because of me.”

“He punched me because of me. I punched him first.”

“You’re insane for punching him, you do know he’s got a mile long rap sheet, don’t you?”

“I did know that. I was just so angry and worried.”

“About?”

“You. You weren’t doing anything, you should have woken up but you didn’t and I knew he did something.”

He was worried about me.

I leaned forward and kissed his cheek, right below the bruise. I let my lips linger for just a second before I pulled just far enough away to make it not so awkward after I kissed him.  

“Thank you.”

“I would do anything for you.”

“Well you’ve certainly proved it. I mean with all of this, you didn’t have to take me in or take care of me or any of this.”

“On that note. The doctor said you don’t have to be in a wheelchair anymore.”

“That’s great!”

“We’ll pick up your crutches and with your grandmother and Jackson locked up, you should be safe and healthy enough to go anywhere you want. Which means that—” He seemed hesitant to say what had been lurking over the past couple of days as the week came to a close.

“Which means I should go back to my apartment, get out of your hair.”

“My hair doesn’t mind.” I laughed harder than I probably should have.

“I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

“If you think so.” He seemed sad?

“I’m sure you want your apartment back.” I tried to convince myself I needed to go, myself more than him apparently. Surely he was ready to get his apartment back to what it was like before. “Well I’m not moving out right this second. And I for one am excited to get up and try to walk around.”

So I got out of bed and very poorly made my way to the kitchen. Bucky stayed close behind me just in case but I’m sure he got a good laugh out of me trying to maneuver around his apartment.

Bucky and I spent this last day together doing whatever came to mind. He made us breakfast and I made us some pies to eat later with dinner, we got dressed and ready and went to the hospital to get my crutches, and it was nice to be able to laugh with someone that I cared about.

Not only was I greatly energized after sleeping for 26 hours but just hanging out with Bucky without the lingering trouble that my life had brung, had made for a pretty perfect day.

But as the day came to a close, once again, we ate our dinner and our pies and then it was time for me to start packing. Bucky sat on the bed as I repacked all of my things, talking to me and honestly it sounded like he was trying to convince me to stay.

But with everything that had been going on, and the very strong feelings that had started to bubble over, I needed to get my head back on straight, I needed to reign back in everything that had already spilled out.

Bucky carried my things out to his car and he drove me home, it was very...quiet. Really the first time we had ever not said anything to each other.

When we got to my apartment, Bucky carried my things up the stairs and stayed right behind me, making sure that I wouldn’t fall.

I unlocked the door and stepped inside my apartment for what seemed like the first time in forever. Asa’s bags were packed and he was sitting on the couch.

“There’s my favorite Foster daughter.” He got up and came over to hug me. “And out of her wheelchair, they grow up so fast.” He wiped a few fake tears away.

“Okay and I’m your foster daughter, so...”

“I’m assuming James told you everything.” He redirected.

“He did.”

“Which means it's time for me to go.”

“Well I would say that it was nice to have you here but…”

“Hey.”

“I’m kidding. It was really good to see you after all this time.”

“Let’s make it not too long next time.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” He gave me another hug and looked at Bucky.

“You take care of her.” He stuck out his hand for him to shake.

“I will.” He grabbed his hand and shook.

And then he was gone leaving me and Bucky alone.

“So…” He started.

“So…”

“I guess I should go too then. Let you get resettled.”

“Yeah. Thank you for letting me stay with you, it really means a lot that you would offer.”

“It was no problem at all, I loved having you there.”

“Now you can get back to your bachelor ways.”

“Yeah.”

“I know I won't be staying with you anymore but if it’s not too much trouble I would still love to drive in to work with you.”

“Yeah I would like that.” He walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Sooner than we’ll both want.” We both laughed and then he left, closing the door behind him.

I looked around my empty apartment, seeing that it looked exactly the same as before. Only now it seemed...lonely.

I tried not to think of it, of how hollow it felt in here now, and opted to go to bed instead of thinking about it any longer.

So that night I fell asleep...completely alone and I had to admit...I didn’t like it.

What had he done to me?

PART NINE 

Tell Me What You Think Here

Tags: @fangirl1802, @seargantbcky, @lust-for-pan, @38leticia, @barnes-and-noble-girl, @karipaleta, @capandbuck, @camillechan, @findacauseandserveit, @audasia25, @kendallefire , @alicerozenju, @snuggleducky, @mell-bell, @lifeasabookbutterfly, @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi, @iamwarrenspeace, @ssweet-empowerment, @chook007 , @juliagolia87, @jjsoccer11, @smol-flower-kiddo, @mrsdaamneron​, @isaxhorror​

[valkerymillenia]

I ask all 50!!! Fill us with fun facts about you!

Holy shit, again?! I’m not that interesting, you know?But ok, I’ll try, I’ve already answered some though.

1: What color are your socks?

Answered.

2: Have you ever lied about your age? Why?

Answered already!

3: What is something you regret in the past month?

So much wasted time…

4: Do you believe in love at first sight?

I’ve answered this before- no, I believe in attraction at first sight; love, however, needs to be earned, grown and nourished.

5: When was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper?

Do notes to translate conversations into paper for my deaf dad count? If so, then today.If you mean real letters… I honestly don’t remember.

6: How old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike? Who taught you?

Answered!

7: Do you get along with your parents? Why or why not?

Oh my gods, this is such a loaded question…Ok, I’ll try to keep it simple. Who am I kidding? That’s not possible.

Mom- ok so my mom is denial of any form of mental illness but she clearly has manic depression and war PTSD since forever. So as a result my mom has always been a bit aloof, irresponsible, neglectful, super permissive, a sneaky opportunist and a slightly childish and impulsive. Never thinks ahead, just goes nuts on the moment or spends too much time asleep (no in between).So my mom wasn’t the best mother in the world, she was a great caregiving and spoiling mother when we were babies but as soon as we gained minimal independence (aka around 5 years old) she just slacked off on the motherhood department. She’s not very bad, she’s just irresponsible and opportunistic and won’t interfere if we need help which doesn’t suit a mother but she’s a great person so she makes a very good friend (as long as you set boundaries and basic duties), she’s funny and sweet and a bit geeky, she’s also beautiful and used to be a model before I was born so she’s that fashion and beauty oriented friend (if fact she’s a certified beautician and taught me all she knows).So… Complicated relationship, lots of love but not the best mom (can’t blame her, grandma was a bitch).

Dad- I love him, he raised me, but I was also his main caregiver since I was 10 since he’s deaf and crippled. He’s a funny and permissive dad (except when he had explosive bouts of rage but that was a phase…a traumatic and slightly violent phase around the divorce time but short), he tried to be a provider and friend with shared interests with me. BUT he was also quite neglectful, being deaf made him very introverted, paranoid and isolated so he just let me run wild (I didn’t, I was taking care of the house and school instead) while he was cooped up playing pc games. We have that friendly daddy’s girl relationship but we both lack trust, we keep our more important thoughts to ourselves and I’m always afraid that as a deaf person he’ll misunderstand important things or judge me for whatever (and he’s always also feeling judged) so our relationship often feels shallow, he’s also the type in denial about people’s mental illness.

Biological father- Fucking complicated. As a little child he babysat me and was our neighbor so I was always hanging out and getting candy, he was also the person that cherished me the most to take hundreds of photos of me. I moved at age 5 so after that we only communicated through my grandma when she traveled between countries, he’d send me presents and worry about me. I only found out he was my progenitor when I was 10 and it took me years to accept it. Saw him again when I was 18, in fact it was like shock therapy- I spent a whole month living with him as I visited my hometown again. He likes to spoil me as much as he can and he’s very kind but also naive and stubborn and not the type that likes to talk about feelings or important things so talks between us are extremely awkward chitchat.

Stepdad- Terrible relationship. He’s the kind of person that is a caregiver for us all out of duty but then uses that to emotionally manipulate everyone. He’s small minded, old fashioned and selfish and blames everyone for his problems, he also seems to have a personal thing against me- pretty sure he doesn’t hate me but I’m his natural verbal punching bag, anything I say or do in front of him, no matter how innocent, even standing still for a moment or asking to pass the juice at dinner, he twists everything into insults and psychological abuse. Luckily my sister is his baby so she escapes his judgement but he wasn’t that much of a present parent to her either and let her run wild a lot (I’m so glad I could turn that around and teach her to be way more responsible than her parents). The only reason I don’t totally hate him is because he gave me sister, who I love most in the world.

8: What’s your favorite season?

Answered!

9: Do you currently like someone?

Yup, also answered before.

10: Have you ever used an Ouija board?

I know how but I never used it, as a Wiccan my preferred specialty for spiritual communing was pendulum scrying.

11: What’s the last song you sang?

“Havanna” by Camilla Cabello has been stuck in my head for weeks.

12: What’s your favorite scent?

Telling me to choose just one fav of anything is hard af… But here are some favs.

Fresh peppermint, lavender, petrichor, burnt eucalyptus, baby powder, sea water, freshly baked bread, and oddly enough- gasoline.

13: What’s your favorite urban legend?

Can’t choose favs but off the top of my head… La Llorona.

14: What’s a bad habit that you have?

Procrastinating.

15: What’s a strange habit that you have?

All my odd stims and ocd rituals.

16: What’s the first instrument that you learned to play?

Answered.

17: How would you describe your ‘type?’

Already answered in the previous ask meme.

18: Would you rather stay in or go out?

Both, when I go out I make it special and try to make the most of it because it’s rare… But I guess I do prefer the safety and routine of staying home.

19: What was the last thing you said to your mom?

“Never going to see what you borrowed from dad again, am I? This is why people don’t trust you, you never keep your promises…

Well, whatever! How are the stitches? You’re better, right?

Ok, put my sister on. Kisses, bye.”

20: Do you want to get married someday?

Already answered in the previous asked meme.

21: Have you ever snuck out?

Not that I needed to with my kind of parents but yeah, a couple of times.

22: Can you sing well?

I love to sing but whether I’m good or not is up to the listener, I can post a song sample if anyone wants.

23: What’s an embarrassing thing that happened this week?

Other than grovelling desperatly for help?

24: When was the last time you went sledding?

Never?

25: Have you ever/do you liked someone you know you can never be with?

Yeah.

26: Do people often mispronounce your name?

Yes! If you’re not a Portuguese speaker, I DARE you to pronounce my surname. Go ahead- Coelho.

27: Would you like to live in another country?

I do miss my home country, South Africa holds my heart… and I’ve dreamed of a stint in Japan. But all in all, I like this country, it’s…interesting, safe.

28: Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows?

Not really, they tend to be too over the top and stereotypical. 

29: Who was the last person you said you loved to?

Boyfriend.

30: What’s something you’d like to be better at?

Follow through.

31: Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad?

Very often, Some right here on tumblr.

32: What was the last thing you cooked?

Chili con carne. Been eating leftovers of it for a whole week now.

33: Do you think you would make a good parent?

Answered already.

34: Do you have trouble sleeping at night?

Answered!

35: Where is your best friend right now?

Given the day and time, my sister is probably at dance practice now.

36: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Depends if I’m making an effort (an hour) or if I’m just being casual (20min).

37: How late do you usually stay up at night?

Answered.

38: When was the last time you cried and why?

I don’t know… 

39: Have you ever won a contest?

Yes, started this year by winning a Justice League pop contest. But that was more of a giveaway... Actual contest? I won a couple b of art contests before but nothing big.

40: Can you draw well?

I have art posted here so you tell me.

41: Would you ever date someone you met on Tumblr/the internet?

Sure. I already do.

42: What was the last thing you ate?

….Bread.

43: Do you think you’re/you’d make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?

I sure hope so, I try my best… But to be honest I don’t think I’m a very good partner.

44: Have you ever had a near-death experience?

About 6 actually.

45: What do you think people think of you?

I don’t know… I’ve been told I make people feel comfortable and I’m easy to open up to? But to be honest I don’t really know.

46: What is your middle name and do you like it?

Augusto. My mom’s maiden name, because that’s how it works here (Name+ maybe 2nd name + mom’s surname + dad’s surname). 

Yes, I like it, it’s latin. But people sometimes mix it up with my paternal grandma’s first name.

47: Are you close with either of your parents?

In my own way, yes. Both mom and dad.

48: Do you like yourself?

Some days…

49: State five facts about your appearance –

-I get a lot of comments on my boobs and I really don’t mind

-I look pale because I stay inside a lot but I tan very easily, probably because my mom is dark

-I love my tattoos, I’m proud of them

-I wear glasses or contacts in important occasions 

-I have the worst time looking people in the eye

50: State five facts about your personality –

-I’m patient but full of anxiety

-I don’t have just one personality

-I try to be as unbiased and non-judgmental as possible

-I’m obsessive about random things

-I like solitude but I also like interacting (though the more non-physical the better)

[berserker-official]

Then allow me to be the one who does it. -ahem- Answer all 200 questions, please.

YOU

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now?

199: I was born in: A hospital in Colorado

198: I am really: Really tired

197: My cellphone company is: Cricket

196: My eye color is: Blue

195: My shoe size is: I think 12?

194: My ring size is: I have no fucking idea

193: My height is: 6′2

192: I am allergic to: Nothing that I know of

191: My 1st car was: I share a Jeep with the family

190: My 1st job was: A pizza man at Little Caesars in Texas

189: Last book you read: All You Need is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka

188: My bed is: Small.

187: My pet: She a good girl and like 6 different breeds

186: My best friend: I have too many

185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever’s cheap

184: Xbox or ps3: Both but I’m a sony man at heart

183: Piggy banks are: Neat

182: In my pockets: I don’t have pockets right now

181: On my calendar: Nothing special today but I have the Danganronpa V3 release date on it in a couple of weeks

180: Marriage is: Neat

179: Spongebob can: go steppin on the beach

178: My mom: is neat but I’m mad at her right now

177: The last three songs I bought were?

Silence by Marshmello & Khalid, OTONA HIT PARADE and Emotional Literacy by Bradio

176: Last YouTube video watched: Oney Plays D. Premonition WITH FRIENDS - EP 6 - Minesweeper175: How many cousins do you have? I honestly don’t know. My parents don’t really keep in touch with immediate family. My mom is an only child and my dad doesn’t talk to her sister.174: Do you have any siblings? I have a little brother who’s a fucking loser going for an astrophysics degree.

173: Are your parents divorced? Nope

172: Are you taller than your mom? By two feet.

171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play percussion in middle school

170: What did you do yesterday? A bunch of stencil work[ I Believe In ] (I’ve already answered these but here u go)169: Love at first sight: Not really168: Luck: Heart of the Cards167: Fate: No166: Yourself: Nope165: Aliens: Yeah164: Heaven: Not really163: Hell: Not really162: God: Not really161: Horoscopes: No but I look at them randomly160: Soul mates: Yeah159: Ghosts: No but not yet158: Gay Marriage: HELL YEAH157: War: No it bad156: Orbs: I BELIEVE IN THE ORBS155: Magic: No but not yet[ This or That ] (I’ve answered some of these already but here u go)154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Neither152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Black hair but I don’t really care?150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blonde cuz I’m ready to have fun149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate145: Night or Day: Night144: Oranges or Apples: Apples143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight hair142: McDonalds or Burger King: Doesn’t matter141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: I hate showing off my feet and I actually wore high heels once so HIGH HEELS138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I’m sweet and poor so that one137: Coke or Pepsi: Neither one I actually don’t like carbonated drinks136: Hillary or Obama: Thanks obama135: Burried or cremated: Cremated it’s better for the earth134: Singing or Dancing: Singing even I fuckin suck133: Coach or Chanel: I have no idea132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Neither?131: Small town or Big city: Big City130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: Whichever is the hand one127: East Coast or West Coast: I’m in the middle so doesn’t matter126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas cuz my birthday is in the summer so I’m dying of heat.125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: Neither cuz going outside sucks123: Yankees or Red Sox: Cubs cuz they finally won the world series[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: It bad121: George Bush: He did Nine Eleven120: Gay Marriage: It’s great why the fuck do people think it’s bad119: The presidential election: In general I used to not care but NOW GO FUCKING VOTE118: Abortion: I think it’s important117: MySpace: I never had a myspace but bring back the grunge emo shit116: Reality TV: It’s obviously fake so115: Parents: Parents are good without them I would not be here (But if they’re abusive fuck them)114: Back stabbers: Drop them faster than you can say bye bitch113: Ebay: I’ve only used it once and it was good so I say sure112: Facebook: Needs to chill the fuck out111: Work: Work is good you get money and gain retail horror stories110: My Neighbors: One of them is a drunk so meh but The Best Neighbor is a guy that used to build his own motorcycles but has heart problems so he had to sell them but he’s a chill guy and I love him109: Gas Prices: TOO DAMN HIGH108: Designer Clothes: Too rich for my blood107: College: A good choice for your future but it’s not for everybody106: Sports: The only sport I care about is MLG Gaming105: My family: They cool but highly problematic104: The future: I’m at a big turning point right now so[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Last Saturday?102: Last time you ate: A couple hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Last week I think I hung out with a friend and we watched Willow100: Cried in front of someone: Months probably99: Went to a movie theater: I went to see Spider-Man Homecoming when it came out but next month I’m going to see Jigsaw with @warlord-official so that’s fun98: Took a vacation: I don’t know? When I got out of school for summer vacation?97: Swam in a pool: 2011?96: Changed a diaper: I actually never changed a diaper95: Got my nails done: Never94: Went to a wedding: Two years ago93: Broke a bone: Never92: Got a peircing: Sophmore year I got my lip pierced so...2008?91: Broke the law: I think I ran a red light once so a couple years ago?90: Texted: A day?[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Me cuz I do the dumbest shit88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My dog87: The last movie I saw: I was watching the Rugrats Movie on Netflix a little while ago86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Danganronpa V3 and then Jigsaw in October and the Ixalan MTG set at the end of the month.85: The thing im not looking forward to: The next time I have to go to jury duty84: People call me: by my name83: The most difficult thing to do is: Be an adult82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Never81: My zodiac sign is: Leo80: The first person i talked to today was: My dad79: First time you had a crush: Probably in elementary school? She was partially deaf and my teacher told me to help her out for the year and we got pretty close78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: My friends cuz I gotta let my baggage out77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: I don’t remember cuz all my friends think the same way76: Right now I am talking to: No one75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I wanna do photography maybe teaching74: I have/will get a job: When I graduate73: Tomorrow: I gotta get up early for school72: Today: I did a bunch of school readings71: Next Summer: I’m gonna die from heat again70: Next Weekend: Hopefully I can hang with friends69: I have these pets: A good dog68: The worst sound in the world: When a racist opens their mouth67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Roman from the FH team cuz he’s NOT FUCKING NERFING CENT66: People that make you happy: All my friends65: Last time I cried: Just now boi we goin in hard64: My friends are: Good boys and girls63: My computer is: I have an 5 year old ASUS laptop that I should try to upgrade cuz it runs Overwatch poorly62: My School: MSU Denver61: My Car: I share a Jeep with the family60: I lose all respect for people who: Treat my friends like they’re subhuman59: The movie I cried at was: Death Note cuz it was fucking awful58: Your hair color is: Dirty blonde57: TV shows you watch: The only stuff on now that I’m watching is Rick and Morty and AHS: Cult56: Favorite web site: Tumblr even though this hellsite is full of sin55: Your dream vacation: Japan?54: The worst pain I was ever in was: My wisdom teeth were pretty obnoxious53: How do you like your steak cooked: Rare52: My room is: Very messy and small51: My favorite celebrity is: Gal Gadot50: Where would you like to be: Anywhere not stressed out49: Do you want children: Only if I have an S/O that wants kids48: Ever been in love: Yeh47: Who’s your best friend: I have too many to count but @warlord-official is one of them46: More guy friends or girl friends: I think it’s a tie?45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my friends are happy or I eat a good burger44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My friend that’s in Japan I miss her43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Nope42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope41: Have you pre-named your children: I did when I was dating someone and thought we were pretty serious but then I found out she was cheating on me so not anymore40: Last person I got mad at: My mom39: I would like to move to: Japan or somewhere that is cool all the time like Washington maybe38: I wish I was a professional: Photographer[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Pay Day36: Vehicle: Reasonably priced car is one of the new Jeeps. Super expensive car would be an Aston Martin or Maserati35: President: Obama34: State visited: Georgia was nice33: Cellphone provider: Cricket cuz it’s the only one I’ve had32: Athlete: John Elway31: Actor: Chris Evans30: Actress: Gal Gadot29: Singer: Kesha28: Band: Bradio or Starset27: Clothing store: DXL cuz it’s the only store that sells clothes for Big Boys26: Grocery store: Safeway25: TV show: Hannibal or Future Diary. Rick and Morty is always good24: Movie: Saw, Pacific Rim, Back to the Future, or Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift23: Website: Tumle dot hell22: Animal: Dog?21: Theme park: NONE OF EM20: Holiday: Halloween19: Sport to watch: idk18: Sport to play: I used to do tennis so that one17: Magazine: Shonen Jump or Game Informer16: Book: The Disaster Artist15: Day of the week: Friday14: Beach: I’ve never been to a beach13: Concert attended: Either PVRIS or A Perfect Circle with @warlord-official12: Thing to cook: It’s like a mix of pizza and spaghetti11: Food: A nice burger10: Restaurant: I like Smashburger9: Radio station: I don’t remember the one that plays rock music here but that one8: Yankee candle scent: Something about rain?7: Perfume: There was a vanilla one that I thought smelled nice a long time ago6: Flower: idk?5: Color: a deep blue4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres?3: Comedian: Bo Burnham2: Dog breed: Mutt1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I hope so   

[yoonmiined]

My Friend is an Angel | Chapter 2

Title: Smiles and Laughs 

Genre: fluff, angst

Word count: 2k

JIMIN’S POV:

As Taehyung and I jog around the campus for our daily routine, a sudden thought crosses my mind.

“Ah, that’s right. We have an exam tomorrow morning” I think aloud

“Shit! I totally forgot about it! Agh...I’m totally going to fail…” Taehyung complains before coming to a slow stop to catch his breath, and as the realization sets in his head falls down slowly in defeat.

Noticing this, I stop right beside him to catch my breath and look at Taehyung while I give him a soft pat on his back.

“Aish, don’t say stuff like that. You’ll do well as long as you have been working on your research paper.”

“You see, that’s the problem. I’ve been playing Overwatch this whole week that I didn’t even touch the research paper. Why do you think I’ve been waking up late?”

A big sigh goes through my lips before bluntly stating: “*Sigh*...you’re screwed”

A pout comes from his lips and looks at me just as a puppy looks at it’s owner for a treat.

“Ahh..why is this happening to me??!”

“Hahaha, so cute. I was just joking, Tae. You are pretty smart so you’ll do fine.”

Seeing him act like a little kid, I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh and give him a tiny pinch on his nose.

Taehyung would sometimes act like a little kid, and I’d find that a very cute, although sometimes annoying, side of him. Whenever he needed help or just wanted attention, he would pout and give you his puppy eyes making you feel guilty but soft at the same time that you couldn’t help but help the poor kid.  

“No, but I want to get a higher score than you!”

“You are still thinking of beating my rank in the class?” I scoff at his sudden reply.

“Hell yeah! I want to stop paying every time we go to the PC cafe. Also I want to stop paying for the snacks you eat all the time at the cafe, Jimin”

“Hahaha, alright alright. Let’s head back to the dorms and shower. I’ll help you study for the exam”

“Really??!! YES! Thank you Jimin~ You’re the best!”

Following his excited reply he puts both of his hands on my shoulders and  pulls me into a tight hug. I laugh at his reaction as the both of us, with a big smile on our faces, head back to our dorms.

The last bell finally rings and both Taehyung and I head out of class to go grab some snacks from the store outside the campus.

‘Well I have to help Tae cram as much as he can, so we’ll probably be staying out late.’ I think to myself before continuing, ‘I should probably buy some snacks.’ Finishing my thought. Afterwards taking a quick glance at him I realize… ‘He eats… a lot. Better buy a lot of snacks.’

‘Maybe grab some shrimp chips, choco pies, and rice crackers while I get some poky, and some cookies.’ I list in my head before repeating it to the snack vendor.

“Can we get mochi ice cream too?” Asked Taehyung with tiny sparks in his eyes, clearly wanted to have some ice cream.

“Sure. Let’s get strawberry mochi, they’re my favorite. We can eat it on our way back to the dorms.”

Hearing this the snack vendor takes out a box of strawberry flavored mochi ice cream, he hands out all the snacks that he chose and after I pay, we start to walk back with arms full of heavenly snacks.

On our way back, we open the box of the mochi ice scream and start munching on the soft and chewy snack. I lick my lips every time I take a bite of the amazingly powdery snack. Taehyung starts humming and smiles with every bite he takes clearly enjoying the ice cream.

“Oh?” Taehyung stops and looks closely at the mochi on his hand.

“What’s wrong?” I ask Taehyung.

We stop walking and he then turns to look at me with a thoughtful expression, then looks back to the mochi, then back to me, and to the mochi again. Now putting the mochi next to my face, he squints his eyes and keeps looking at the mochi on his hand and me. Taehyung, staring at me lets out a small chuckle, few seconds later it turns into a loud laughter with a pure smile. Being clueless of what he is thinking I look at him with a puzzled expression.

“What?? Why are you laughing??

“Hahaha...this-this..reminds me of you..HAHAHA”

Struggling, Taehyung finally answers me on why he is laughing. Being a bit surprised, a bit baffled, I let out a small laugh which then forms into a louder one. I can’t believe Tae just compared me with a mochi. Still laughing I ask him:

“What do you mean it reminds you of me?”

“Well, this mochi is small like you, your cheeks are as soft, squishy, and pink as pink mochi, so it reminds me of you.”

“Aish, this kid.” I mutter under my breath before finishing, “Who are you calling small, huh?? Just because I’m a few centimeters shorter than you doesn’t mean I’m small!”

I grab Taehyung by his neck and put him in a headlock while I ruffle his soft brown hair.

“Hahaha, you’re not only small, your hands are small too haha! You have small baby hands hahaha”

“Shut up Tae!” I retort by elbowing him in the ribs.

“Hahaha, okay okay I’ll stop...let’s go back quickly so you can help me then” He finishes

“Alright. Next time you are buying snack for calling me small” I finish with a slight pout to my lips.

Releasing him from the headlock, we began to walk back to our school dorms and continue to eat the ice cream with joy.

“Okay. That looks good! We’re done studying” I tell Taehyung stretching both arms up.

“Really? That was all? That was actually not that bad”

“Of course. It’s just that you decided to procrastinate and play Overwatch instead” I state blankly

“Shut up, you procrastinate too! It’s just that I procrastinate more...anyways, do you want to go play video games?” He asks me.

Taehyung is the type to study for 2 hours and then play videogames or watch videos for 8 hours straight then forget about his responsibilities. Sometimes he would write 3 words on his essays then take a 5 hours break on the computer but in the end he would forget about his paper and go to sleep without finishing it or even starting it… He really is something else.

“Ah...I have work in 10 minutes, sorry Tae” I tell Taehyung with a bit of guilt in my voice. I know that he really likes to play games, and he enjoys playing them more if we’re playing with him.

“Mm, okay. It’s fine Jimin, really. Go now, you are going to be late, hurry go!” Taehyung tells me while pushing me out the door.

“Okay okay, I’m leaving now haha I’ll see you after I’m done working, bye Tae!”

“Yes, yes goodbye Jimin~”

                                                A few minutes later

Taehyung’s POV:

Since I don’t have work today, I go lay down on my bed and look at the ceiling while listening to some music. I’m pretty bored without Jimin here. I usually play games or watch TV when he goes to work, but for some reason today I just don’t have the energy to play games or do anything. It’s as if whenever I’m with Jimin, I have energy for everything. It’s as if I were a flower and Jimin my sun. The sun that every flower needs in order to grow, to bloom, to live.

I check my phone to look at the time and it reads 3:50PM. It has been an hour and some minutes since Jimin left. I look up from my phone to stare at the alstroemerias sitting on top of the desk. I get up grabbing a water bottle sitting next to the flowers and feed them some water then I go back to my original position. With every second that passes as I look at the beautiful flowers, the more I yearn for Jimin.

“I should go visit Jimin since I have nothing else to do right now” I tell myself.

I go to my contacts and send a message to Jimin. ‘Meet me in 15 minutes at the north park’

With that, I grab my sweater, keys, phone and wallet and head out to the park.

It takes me shorter than I thought to walk to the park. I arrive there at 3:59PM, one minute before 4 o’clock. My favorite time of the day. I sit on a bench and wait.

It’s finally 4 o’clock, and I wait there, for my best friend to come. I hear some birds singing beautifully joined with some childrens’ laughters.

“Where are you?”

I ask myself as I sit on the bench. The sun getting ready to go to sleep, it sets little by little. The light blue and light orange slowly turning into a dark blue color. I wait there, for my best friend to come. The wind blowing, going through the thin fabric of my sweater tearing away the warmth from my arms and chest. The cool, light wind giving my body chills. I close my eyes to let the wind embrace me. I take in a deep breath smelling the grassy plants and the white chrysanthemum.

“Oh, Taehyung!”

A familiar voice breaks my endless thoughts. I look to see where that voice came from. It’s Jimin. The friend I’ve been waiting for.

“Sorry, did you wait long?” Jimin asks

“No, not really. I was just thinking a bit, and looking at the sky” I reply

He sits next to me on the bench. We both take a few minutes to contemplate the graceful and calm evening. We keep staring at the sky for a few more minutes then Jimin breaks the silence

“So...is there something you want to tell me for you to call me here?”

“Uh, not really haha. I guess I was pretty bored. Also, the weather is nice today so I just wanted to spend the evening outside”

I answer Jimin rubbing the back of my neck and look down at my feet with a shy smile. I turn to look at Jimin who is already staring at me with that delicate bright smile that only he has.

“Haha, so you just wanted to hang out?” He questions.

“Yeah, just hang out haha” I say, but for some reason this time my voice wavering a bit

“Alright. Well let’s just enjoy the nice view of the sky” He says and looks up to the sky still smiling. His eyes were sparkling just like the stars up in the sky. His cheeks have a slight pink tinge on them just like the light pink that paints the sky at the end of the day.

I really just wanted to hang out with Jimin because I was bored and missed him slightly, but now with him by my side, multiple thoughts start to appear in my mind. All of them about Jimin.

Some of the thoughts were how happy and glad I am to have someone like Jimin in my life. The sheer happiness he gives me is immeasurable. I’m glad to have the opportunity to sit next to him like this and appreciate the calm evening. Glad that we get to fool around and play games together. Glad that we get to go to the same university, and live in the same dorm. Glad to see his pure and angelic smile and hear his laugh everyday. Glad to be best friends with him. Glad that we met. If there were words to justify how glad I am just to have him by my side, I would say them… but in the end I am just truly glad Jimin exists.

A/N: Hello guys! I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as well :) Since this is longer than last chapter it took me a bit longer and I also started school again (ugh lol) so I didn’t have as much time. I also want to thank one of my friends (polar bear) for helping me editing this story, thank you so much! Next chapter will be up soon, so please keep reading~ 

[lil-stingyy]

nobody cares about me

hello, depressed shits, your queen is back. with a lot to tell of course.

i know, i know, you’ve through a lot of bulls lately. so do i. 

did you just feel depressed out of nowhere? every. fucking. second!

now,now i just want to tell you about one of our lessons in religion. it’s aboout buddhism probably (bc i’m not sure, don’t expect me to remember my lessons because i’m always high at school), something about truths of life, and there is something like: “craving leads to sufffering”. 

and yes i also know, that you’ve craved for something also that’s why your’e suffering atm. my teacher asked us about some of our personal experience. and one of the best in class said; “my father’s attention” he’s gay, like- really gay (and he’s awesome he’s one of my besties.), which is probably the reason why. but i don’t get it because he’s absolutely smart and he’s an amazing enterpreneur.  

and guess what? i felt sad for him. I can’t shake the thought out of my head all day. how can people not notice you if you’re so fucking cool? because the world sucks. 

when i got home, i went to my room and..... well, cry. i don’t know why but i cried for him. so bad, i’m so tired. every bad things that happened to my ugly life came back. and of course, it did not help.

and i realized, i’m one of the ‘high honors students’ (thanks copy + paste) and my parents didn’t even glanced at my report card.

and i became sadder.

i realized that i also crave for something- 

appreciation.

i did my bestest. and after receiving my report card, there’s just nothing. NOTHING! 

because i know, that this kind of achievement cannot surprise them anymore. being a high honoree in a local high school is no big deal if you’re sister is in 4th year of med school in a prestige university, with grades enough to be a cum laude, 3rd honors in a science high school, valedictorian in grade school, national researcher, etc etc etc etc, it could go on forever.

and i told them actually, to please, appreciate me.

and my mom just said to be humble.

and what the fuck? 

i just want them to appreciate my good work

and what they think is that i’m bragging about my grades.

why?

i can’t believe this. this shit hurts me more than my shins hitting the table.

fuck life.

why does no one understand me?

and for the millionth time, i wish that my sister is around, she;s the only one smart enough to understand an alien like me. she’ll tell me to pray and ask god for guidance. which i forget to, now, because she’s not around anymore, because she’s the best person in the world because i look up to her. because she’s my sister. (i’m crying while typing and i’m on my family’s pc, and my mom’s just sitting in the corner but thankfully she’s not looking at me.)

i miss my sister so much. 

i never get jealous of her achievements i’m jealous because of her attitude, she’s so kind, everytime she comes home for christmas and summer break, my world is filled with colors suddenly.

nobody’s perfect. wrong. my sister is.

and that’s why i’m sad. because nobody appreciates me. because i will never reach anyone’s expectations.

because i’m just an ordinary girl that knows a lot about music but without self-confidence. music is probably the only thing that i can brag about, but i can’t because i’m afraid to fail and to be judged.

i just long for appreciation in anyways. even in school, my circle of friends just tends to forget me, no seat reserved, no food left, forgotten, unimportant.........

and i don’t know what i’ve typed already

i don’t know what i’m doing already

and i have to stop because i’m about to break down so bad so i need to rush on my room. 

k bye shit heads

bye

bye

crying

still crying

gonna stop now

okay

vyee

[silks]

6, 9 (i'm on pc but HEAVILY EYE EMOJI-S YOU), 13, 14, 15, 17, 28, 30 (please elaborate on how much you love tumblr user @bae-jy, who will stop in the middle of some very serious content creation to send you asks on tumblr

I answered 6 & 15!

9. do you have a skincare routine?

I HATE YOU FOR THIS CUZ I KNOW U KNOW THIS……..(no.. idontwashmyface) SORRY IM GROSS LIKE JAEHWAN RIP

13. do you prefer lipstick or lipgloss?

lip gloss !!! smooch smooch! I don’t wear makeup but occcccaaasiiiioooonnnallllyyyy lip gloss I guess

14. pink or black?

pink!!! pink black in ur areeeaaAAA but ya pink is my fave color my room is pink, my phone is pink, my camera pink, my luggage for college Is pink,,, 

17. are your nails painted?

yes!!!! I got a manicure like a week ago and they’re dark purple and a lil shimmery gotta go for that dramatic look

28. do you want any kids? if so how many? what do you imagine their names being?

OOOOH I WANT KIDS SO BAD!!! EVERY TIME I SEE A HOT DUDE (DANIEL) W A CHILD MY OVARIES START VIBRATING I DROP AN EGG RITE THERE BAM IM OVULATING LIKE WILD!!! but ya idk maybe 2? I don’t want a lot….. and idk about names but I love the name Yvette! I think its really pretty

30. how much do you love Ali?

wow I love her so much!!! shes always coming thru for me and I love her little paragraphs she sends and I love her bread emojis and I love her glasses and her intelligence and also her memes (we meet again) and also how much she love me too wow Ima cry cuz I have so much love for her bYE