#the christmas descriptions are phenomenal

[fictionadventurer]

A Christmas Carol can get annoying as a pop culture phenomenon--it seems so trite and overdone--but then you return to the book and realize that it really is that good.

[darktrashsoulbear]

Exploring Local Treasures

Ewan Mitchell x new girlfriend!reader

Summary: Ewan takes his new girlfriend on a tour of his hometown Derby, on her insistence, and scrambles to find things to do while also just being so incredibly in love.

This was a request sent in by the lovely Freyja @endless-ineffabilities who persuaded me to share a fic that showcased my insider knowledge of Derby!

Actors Masterlist

Taglist

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2019

A big thank you to @gwaynesprincess for beta reading this!

Divider Credit: @saradika-graphics

Any likes, comments and reblogs are always always appreciated :)

A/N: The rucksack is filled with your favourite drinks and snacks as well as extra hair bobbles and his own shopping bags to carry whatever the two of you collect during the day!

The sun was nowhere to be seen, instead the sky was littered with grey clouds and the odd pigeon here and there. Many would describe it as bleak, a fitting description for his location. The streets of the city centre were filled with the sounds of construction which would make you think perhaps it’s preparing for the upcoming Christmas Markets, wrong. There aren’t any Christmas Markets over here, only an ice rink if you’re lucky that year. With a grimace plastered across his face he sighed “I still have no idea why you’d want a tour of this place, love, there’s nothing to see. How about I take you to Nottingham tomorrow where they actually do have a Christmas Market hm?”

“Ewan, babe, I’ve come here to see where you grew up which is right here in Derby not half an hour away in Nottingham!” she refuted, eagerly dragging him along – to where, she wasn’t sure.

“Darling, there’s really nothing to see here, only a few pubs and there’s a decent milkshake place over there,” he fired back ready to head back to the lifts to the car park.

Grinning she manoeuvred herself, so she was before him, walking backwards, dragging him by both hands, “excellent, I’m absolutely parched and besides, aren’t you supposed to be calling me duck here baby?”

Letting out yet another sigh, Ewan resigned himself to his fate and a day of boredom before finally giving in and walking with his girl, pulling out his wallet “unless you’d like for us to get the attention of every girl within earshot then I won’t be calling you duck, my love its almost too common here”

“What and my love isn’t,” she teased leaning in to peck him on the cheek and he quickly took the chance to turn his head, earning himself a peck on the lips promptly followed by a reprimanding pat on the chest.

As they ordered their milkshakes Ewan racked his brain on what on earth he was going to do and how he was expected to provide an entertaining day when it was only three o’clock. Don’t get him wrong, Ewan didn’t hate Derby, but he had long made peace with the fact that it offered very little in terms of entertainment when compared to other bigger cities – sure there were still bowling alleys, escape rooms and a pub on every corner but that’s not exactly revolutionary anymore. This usually suited Ewan just fine when he came home from long shoots away from home and all he wanted was the comfort of doing mostly nothing but in this circumstance, it was a nightmare. Because this was her, his girl, the one. Yes, they had only been together for a few months, but things were going great, phenomenally even. She ticked every box of his and every night he’d send a prayer up to the sky that she felt the same about him. They hadn’t said ‘I love you’ yet but he sure as hell felt it and if the way she looked at him was any inclination, then she did too. Which is why he wanted today to be perfect, he had to say it today – he feared he would combust if he didn’t.

His thoughts were interrupted by another soft tug on this hand as his girl led him over to collect their milkshakes, hers a combination of white chocolate and raspberry and his, a plain dairy milk – he was far too preoccupied to be adventurous today. After checking yet again that she was absolutely sure she wanted to stay, he reluctantly led her towards the pub that was a favourite of his brothers and had become the go to pub ever since he’d first been taken their by his parents when he was twelve ‘The Bless”, ensuring he went the long way to give them enough time for them to drink their milkshake, and for her to change her mind.

Stepping into the warmth of the pub after walking around the city centre was welcomed but he received it with a hint of annoyance due to it meaning that his girl unfurled herself from her position wrapped around his arm, body pressed against his. Although the blinding grin she flashed him as they walked to an available table in a corner towards the back made up for it, her opting to sit next to him on the booth, body leaning against his rather than on the chair opposite certainly did. The pub was relatively quiet due to it being a random Wednesday at three-thirty which Ewan was thankful for as it meant he was able to bury his face in the crook of her neck, lips brushing against her skin as he responded to her questions without any shame.

Their drinks arrived, a water for his darling and an apple juice for him – a decision made after he advised her that it may be best to stay completely sober for what he has planned later, to which she excitedly probed him with questions and general triumphant remarks at her getting him to co-operate. As they sipped their drinks and made general conversation – gossiped – about anything and everything, Ewan couldn’t help but admire the gorgeous girl next to him, glancing over the eyes he so easily finds himself getting lost in, the slope of her nose and the lips that entice him in without even realising. He glances down to where her body meets his, one arm wrapped around his waist while the other switches between taking sips of her drink and wrapping around his, fingers dancing across his own as she plays with the cool metal of the ring on one of his digits.

“So, then I looked at her like yeah, I completely get it but honestly I have no idea what she was talking... mmph,” she was abruptly cut off by Ewan’s lips finding home and colliding with hers. After recovering from her shock, she eagerly responded thankful for the booth standing tall and curling around them as the arm Ewan wrapped around her shoulders tightened and near enough pulled her onto his lap. Believing she’d indulged him enough, his love pulled away as his hand had begun to snake its way up her soft brown knitted sweater.

Between refilling her lungs with air, she wondered where that had come from, his response came with a smirk that painted his angular face “well if you agree to end our little excursion, I’d be happy to give you the full package.”

To which she responded with a breathy laugh and a simple “as if I wouldn’t get it anyway”, rendering him momentarily speechless – because she wasn’t wrong – and she used the opportunity to pull him up by the lapels of his green coat, perfect for the chill in the air, and guided him back outside before demanding he take her to the next place.

With the thousandth sigh of the day, he did just that wrapping his arm around her waist this time and guiding her back into the centre’s main building to the car park, when he quickly explained they’d have to drive to the next location to narrowly avoid the shove coming his way as she believed he was yet again hoping to end their fun early. Reluctantly she agreed to get in the car but not before making him pinkie promise he wasn’t lying.

As Ewan parked up in what he can only assume is an actual parking spot – the car park was so run down he couldn’t really be sure – he took a quick look around, due to the fact that while this was shared between the ‘Rollerworld’ and the Indian restaurant next door ‘Slice of India’ that was its secondary use especially now that it had started getting dark sooner this time of year. With a light jog, he made his way around the front of the car to open the door for his love before she could even think about doing it herself – chivalry to him was not dead – and he happily accepted the “Cheers, Mitchell” and peck on the cheek, that actually landed on his cheek, he got in return.

Grasping her hand in his own (more like engulfing) he quickly led her around from the back of the building where the car park is to the front entrance, making quick work of paying for their entry before making their way up the steps that were far too steep to have a place so close to where people are roller skating. After giving their sizes to the guy behind the counter, Ewan and his love took a chance to survey the place. He again is thankful that it is a Wednesday and its less busy meaning fewer kids for him to accidentally run over or trample, he looks back over at her and sees she’s yet again grinning from ear to ear and has decided that while this certainly wasn’t how he’d have initially opted to spend the day, every second was worth it to see her so happy and he hopes she looks at him that way every day for the rest of their lives.

He was yet again snapped out of his musings by her dragging him over to the seats to put the skates on practically vibrating with excitement and he takes a moment to hope that his lack of roller skating over the past few years doesn’t catch up to him. Which, of course, it did. Multiple times. Any time he believed he had it, the universe sniggered and proved that he, in fact, did not. He wishes he was able to say that it was made worth it by his sweet girl being there aiding and reassuring him but well, if you looked at her any time he was reacquainted with the floor it would seem as though she had front row tickets to a Ricky Gervais comedy show – although she at least had the decency to attempt to ask if he was alright through her cackles.

Eventually, his legs started co-operating, his girl no longer laughed at him (mostly due to the pain her stomach was in for laughing all that time) and they embarked on a shared rhythm around the rink. Neither would admit to it under questioning due to the major cliché of it all, but they did indeed hold hands as they went – once she was sure he wouldn’t drag her down with him. About an hour after their arrival, they both gravitated towards the exit of the rink deciding to grab food on their way back home. As they debated where to go once they’d walked down the too steep stairs, Ewan suggested just popping over to the Indian buffet next door with the promise that the Chinese styled noodles were to die for. This caused her to softly chuckle while looking up at him through her lashes teasing about how “out of everything at the Indian food buffet his highlight was a different cuisine” and just as he was about to defend himself, he looked down at her. Really looked. He looked at the way she looked at him with the softest gaze he’d ever seen, the way she lightly bit her lip while waiting for a response and at the way the hints of her beautiful smile remained in her eyes, and he couldn’t stop himself.

He dipped his head making direct eye contact and said the easiest three words of his life. Her face went from shocked, to happy, to elated as she responded with an “I love you” of her own in earnest. The tension that he didn’t even realise was there escaped his shoulders as he grasped the lapels of his own green coat wrapped around her and met her lips in a kiss that had him seeing spots of white behind his eyelids. A minute or five later, they pulled away from one another, took each other’s hands and walked into the restaurant, where the Chinese style noodles were indeed to die for.

Notes:

As I've said, likes, comments and reblogs are so appreciated

As is constructive criticism, this is my first time writing so some kind pointers are welcome!

Thank you so much for reading!

[rwrbficrecs]

The last of our monthly recs for 2023 ❤️ Every Day’s a Holiday (When I’m Near to You) by bleedingballroomfloor (book-verse)

@dot524: I loved every bit of this road trip fic. Henry has a crush on Alex and impulsively decides to join him on a road trip to Texas, which turns out to be longer than expected. The delicious yearning, only-one-bed situations, and funny road-trip pit stops made this a great story. I didn’t want to stop reading.

@heybuddy-drabbles: this ticked all my boxes honestly. The pinning, the yearning. The friendship they build while falling in love. And then the love, wild and unstoppable and so free. It was just perfect.

I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard? by dollarstoreannabethchase (book-verse)

@dot524: A deliciously angsty Henry POV of key events in the book - lake house & storming of Kensington Palace. Broke my heart and put it back together again. The description of his depression and pain made me want to give Henry a hug.

Last Christmas by @celaestis1 (book-verse)

@suseagull04: Enemies to lovers meets Christmas feels and found family. The establishment of every relationship, both romantic and platonic, in this fic is fantastic too!

Never Did Run Smooth by @clottedcreamfudge (book-verse)

@dot524: What a delightful ride! I loved the unique reality-show setup and the roommates/best friends to lovers pining from Henry’s POV. It had a few fun plot turns that kept me guessing and many scenes that made me grin like an idiot (e.g. a cake-baking contest and partner yoga with someone else). This isn’t exactly an undiscovered gem based on the number of comments and kudos — but I hadn’t read it, so I wanted to spread the word for those new to the fandom!

No Consequences by @anchoredarchangel (book-verse)

@thesleepyskipper: In this AU where Henry is still the Prince but Alex is a civil rights lawyer who works with Pez, the author has given us an incredible meet cute!! Alex pulls an Alex and shoots his shot for a selfie that turns out pretty well for him in the end. 😏 The author’s writing of Alex here is absolutely spot on AND hilarious. I still can’t believe this is their first published fic!!!

@zwiazdziarka: this fic has everything one could ask for: it's funny, it's cute, it's awkward, it's hot and addictive. I can't stop thinking about this version of Alex and Henry and their characterisation is absolutely perfect!

Made For Love by @candyspandemonium (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: AU where Henry and June are ice dancing champions and Alex has a lot of feelings about some guy stealing his sister. There are just so many good things in this fic - emotions, Alex being totally unhinged and not realising what it means, Henry as perfect fantasy, dealing with media and public opinion - and all that in nice scenery of ice rinks. Can't recommend it enough!

(Secret) Santa Baby by @indomitable-love (book-verse)

@dot524: Such a sweet AU about office romance between Alex and Henry and how a Secret Santa gift & being paired together on a project leads to something more. Heartwarming and made me smile… this writer’s characterization of Alex & Henry is always spot-on for me, no matter the universe.

The Royal Magician and the Ravens of the Tower of London by @bluflamingo (book-verse)

@suseagull04: The world-building in this fic is phenomenal! It's the perfect blend of magical realms and the real world, mystery and magic AU, and I love it!

could it be mad love? by @duchessdepolignaca03 (book/movie-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: actors AU, but also Henry is Alex's biggest fan and his awkward celebrity crush adds all new flavour to their relationship once they meet. The range of emotions fit in this story is truely amazing. There's so much tension and every moment feels like the one where it all can turn into a dissaster or something absolutely wonderful.

where every wish comes true by @hypnostheory (book-verse)

@heybuddy-drabbles: Neighbors!au + fuck buddies. Alex locks himself out of his apartment in a filthy costume and his neighbor and fuck buddie Henry takes him in. It's very funny and sexy!!

[starsarefire824]

Fic Recs

In honor of things being shitty in the tag right now and everyone in their depression era, I'm offering a few fic recs in these trying times. Hope you discover something new, friends. 🖤

the comforts that make us feel numb by passerine_in_jade.

“No, but really. If I were a girl,” Mike presses on, looking up at Will with red-rimmed eyes through dark lashes. Leaning in. Somehow, fully unaware that this line of questioning has Will's heart climbing up to his throat. “Would you want to kiss me?”

or, Will and Mike get high in the desert.

Well written, almost dreamy quality to it. Author to watch for me! Can't believe I only just discovered their writing.

A Wish For Something More by @waroftheposes

Seven year old Will didn't have a problem with kissing his best friend on a dare. Seventeen year old Will, however, would not do it if someone held his hand over a fire.

Or: Truth or dare at seven and truth or dare at seventeen.

They're silly and sweet and oh so confused. The writing is lovely as well. Great if you're in the mood for fluff.

On the Same Frequency by @oldfashionedmorphine

Ever since his best friend Will Byers was murdered back in 1985, Mike Wheeler wanted nothing more than to leave his hometown of Hawkins, Indiana and never look back—only each and every year he’s forced to make an exception when it comes to the holidays. And when Mike visits for Christmas in 1995, his mom asks him to help clear out some junk in his room and down in the basement before he returns home to Indianapolis. But when he comes across an old trunk containing his Supercom walkie-talkie and ham radio, he discovers something strange that has the potential to change everything…

(or an AU inspired by the movie “Frequency” from 2000)

I'm only just starting this, but Frequency au?? Hell yes.

Fleeting by olliecoddle. @souverian-are-we

Mike liked Will’s art shows, albeit slightly less the higher class they had gotten. Little paintings in the corner of a cafe morphed into white walls and rich spectators poised with champagne and well-mannered criticism. Still, he had been looking forward to it. He wanted to go. But now, walking up to the glass doors, he had to admit he felt jittery.

or, Will's new paintings are a little too personal

This is one of my absolute favorites ever. The writing of course, it's ollie. But the descriptions, the entire buildup of Mike's reaction in the art gallery, the content of the painting? The entire concept is beautiful. And be sure to look up the painting Will's was inspired by. It will tell you everything.

any semblance of touch by anonymous.

“Nothing,” Will says, right into Mike’s ear. “Still feeling good?”

So good. Mike makes sure to not say it aloud this time. “I think,” Mike says slowly, heart pounding, “I need” — Will pulls back just a little, just enough for their noses to bump against each other, clumsy, and Mike bites the bullet — “one more.”

Will is still in Mike’s lap, which is maybe not very platonic of him, and the joint has smoldered its way down to the end, nearly over, all eaten up by the fire. Will swallows thickly, then leans closer, a perfect imitation of their positions from earlier. Mike isn’t sure how long it’s been, but fire has been eating away at him too, this whole time, leaving him on the brink of going up in smoke, slow and burning and so good.“Yeah?” Will murmurs, realization dawning on him, eyes wide. “One more?”

or: Mike’s still new to this whole smoking thing. Will has a few ideas.

Utterly depressing this is anonymous because the writing is phenomenal. So alive and vivid. Not sure where this fic was hiding, but I'm glad I found it. Highlights: Mike’s inner dialogue, the playfulness between them, the lowered inhibitions finally letting them relax into the moment.

nosebleeds from epiphanies (i took full in the face) by wheelersboy @karenchildress.

Hawkins, Montana, June 1988. When Lonnie Byers catches his youngest son in the arms of another boy, he calls in that favor owed to him by rancher Jim Hopper in Lenora: Will must work as an unpaid ranch hand and learn to "man up." Mike Wheeler follows him to the creepy ranch with electrical problems, like any best friend would.

jo's writing is always fantastic. he has such a unique voice and mike's struggle in this just does things for me.

When The Sun Runs Out by olliecoddle @souverian-are-we

On a dreary day in March, 1989 the population of Hawkins, Indiana dropped to four. Will Byers watched as the final family left, the bed of their truck packed to the brim and tied down with a tarp. Furniture stuck out at odd angles, and the corner flap flailed in the breeze as they turned onto the highway. Will followed the vehicle with his eyes until it disappeared as a dot on the long stretch of pavement. Then, he got in his car and went home.

Or, Will is burning out, and Mike is mesmerized by the flame.

This was sexy as hell and all I'm gonna say is tattoos. I really enjoyed this little rougher around the edges, let down by life, closed off Will after being left in Hawkins alone with El, Hopper, and Joyce to wait for the end of the world that never seems to come.

dirty rain by henrycreel

mike wheeler is an average alpha teenage boy working on keeping tight control of his raging hormones in the wake of being seventeen years old, unmated, and a virgin who's never spent his rut with anyone before. when one of his teachers makes an innocent request of him, he finds himself spiraling almost right away. the omega sitting next to him in class is going to be his omega one way or another even if it means employing some traditional and unconventional means to show him who he belongs to.

will byers is an omega with a tendency toward anxiety and outright fear, marked by years of abuse at the hands of his father. high school should be a chance to open a new chapter for himself, but he only truly finds comfort sitting next to mike, an alpha whose presence seems to keep the usual mocking and bullying at bay. but when mike starts to cross the line from friendly classmate into so much more, will has no time to decide if he's ready to move on to a relationship of his own, to finding a mate to settle down with like his big brother already has.

mike is making the decision for both of them.

A solid Omegaverse fic! <3

[kmomof4]

Krystal, I am so glad you reblogged this, because I loved this set of questions and wanted it to get circling. Apologies if I ask you several…

For the Bookish Asks: A, C, H, T, U, V, and Y

I’ll never forgive you for this, Marta 😜 kidding!! Thank you so much for the ask! This really did look fun so I’m thrilled to answer so many!!!

A Author You've Read The Most Books From

Probably Stephen King. I started reading him my freshman year in college and by the time our first was born in ‘97, I’d read pretty much everything he’d written up to that point.

C Currently Reading

Does fanfiction count? 😜 but seriously, I guess you could say I’m currently reading When He Was Wicked, Francesca Bridgerton’s book by Julia Quinn, since I’m adapting it to a CS fic…

H Hidden Gem Book

So, I went back to my homeschooling days for this one. In the Reign of Terror by G.A. Henty. We only read a few of his books when the kids were growing up and they were all wonderful, but this was our first one we read aloud and it was just phenomenal !!! All of his books followed a young person living during momentous times in human history. This one was set during, you guessed it, the French Revolution. HIGHLY recommend.

T Three Of Your All-Time Favorite Books

The first two are easy peasy… It and The Stand, both by Stephen King. From the first time I read them to when I started having kiddos and no time, I read them both at least once a year. It’s now been well over 2 decades since I read either one and I could probably give you a pretty detailed description of what happens in each and every chapter.

For the third, I really don’t know… but I’ll list several that I LOVE that jump immediately to mind.

The Horse and His Boy C.S. Lewis Chronicles of Narnia Book 3, takes place during the reign of the Pevensies in Narnia.

The Lord of the Rings J.R.R. Tolkien yes, it counts as 1 book, sorry, not sorry…

The Viscount that Loved Me and An Offer From a Gentleman by Julia Quinn. Anthony and Benedict Bridgerton’s stories, respectively.

And finally, Nora Roberts O’Hurley’s series, that, as you know, inspired my A Family Affair fic series. I read the series, except Trace’s story (the older brother), before I was married, and when I found the last book, it rekindled my love for the entire series and it held a very special place in my heart all these years.

U Unapologetic Fangirl For

Bridgerton series

V Very Excited For This Release More Than Any Other

If you’d asked me that about 9mos ago, my VERY LOUD and EXCITED answer would have been the Special Edition release of the Bridgerton series in hardback that Chris ordered for me for Christmas, which also answers your last question. But, since you didn’t ask me that 9mos ago 😜 and it’s been so long since I’ve bought any real-hold-in-your-hand-book, I don’t really have an answer for you. Sorry?

Y Your Latest Book Purchase

See above.

Thank you again for all these, Marta!!!

Send me a bookish ask

[hangmanssunnies]

Absolutely phenomenal fic. I loved the premise, I loved all the details and the fantastic descriptions. I loved Bradley, like really loved him lots. There was such a wonderful dose and blent of angst, and fluff and smut. I found the family dynamic you made with Mav, Penny, Brad, and Amelia really interesting. Amealia in this fic !!! was also fantastic!! I loved her so much.

The dynamic history and relationship between Braldey and the reader. This was accented so well with the individual relationships that the squad had. bob of course has my heart though, <3 he is a good friend. It's exhausting to see your two friends be idiots sometimes, so hats off to its group for putting up with it for so long.

Thank you for writing this fic. I definitely recommend it. A few more of my thoughts under the cut.

The snow ball fight. I thought I might die from cuteness overload.

The fact that Bradley slept on the floor multpile times. I actually loved loved that. I love the one bed trope and this felt like such an extra great touch. It also gave us some great insight into Bradley's character

I was pleased that they had a good Christmas. I always worry in this fics that somethings going to happen to ruin Christmas day. These two had so much other things to deal with it was great that wasn't an additional layer to go through.

love that the family got her a gift, and that she called Bradley out on not saying good morning.

Anytime we got Bradley's point of view I lost my mind and then fell even more in love with him.

Loved loved loved how easily these two fell into casual affection and cuddles and touching, and how they both were like ahh yes no this is right and feels good.

When they finally did share the bed. 🥺🥰 to 🥵. It was amazing

When she's drunk and they re coming home from seeing their friends. Loved that. I loved how sweet and caring Bradley was, how genuinely adorable he finds her. HELPING HER OUT OF HER SHOES !!!!! oh gosh it was a sucker punch. in the best ways. ONLY TO THEN HELP HER PUT ON PJS. good lord murder me I ahsdk;f ajkdfl ahhhhh

just. yes yes. literally everything about that whole scene. Chef kiss

The lump I felt in my chest the whole section leading up to them being at home and finding their way together. Gosh the angst and their emotions were so great.

I loved the vulnerability and care that was in the smut.

The smut was also just so fucking hot.

"happy new years." 🥺🥺🥺 Ahhh!!!! so good.

I wonder if they are going to come back to work and everyone is going to be like ahh yes good their office jim/pam finally got together.

A beautiful happy new begging for these two and that was a great place to end the fic.

Thank you so mcuh for writing and sharing this fic. I could tell all the care and work you put into it. It really was a phenomenal read.

Home for the Holidays

pairing: bradley "rooster" bradshaw x reader

summary: Bradley might have lied about having a girlfriend. His best friend, you, decide to help him out and go home for the holidays with him. As the trip unfolds, so does your and Bradley's feelings for one another.

wc: 19.2k

warning: 18+, mdni, fluff, mild angst, smut, slow burn, pet names (babe), fake dating, kissing, unprotected sex, penetrative sex (p in v), oral sex (afab receiving), vaginal fingering, drinking (reader gets drunk), crying, bob being a good friend

a/n: hello! it's finally here!!!! thank you all for being patient with me while i finished this up

"You did what?" It was shocking, hearing Bradley word vomit every bad decision he made in the past two days. Seeming as how they all included you without your knowledge.

"It was an accident." Bradley said, lips in a slight downturn as he wrapped a hand around the back of his neck. 

"That is not an accident, Bradley. It's a fucking lie." You looked at him in disbelief. This was much much worse than just an accident. You turned and started walking away from him, but alas, he followed you. 

"It's not like you're doing anything for the holidays." Bradley pleaded. 

"You don't know that." You arrived at your office, sitting in your desk chair quickly.  

"Actually, I do ‘cause you told me last week you were planning on staying at home, getting wine drunk while watching Face Off." You glared at him, hating the fact he had such an impeccable memory. Bradley leaned against your desk, staring down at you while adjusting his reading glasses. 

"I'm not your girlfriend though. How will your family feel when they find that out?" Bradley rolled his eyes. He made a wave of his hand in the air.

"They won't find out. Come on, we both took intro to acting in college, it won't be hard to fake it." 

"Bradley, what did you tell them? Like explain it all word for word." 

"Already did tha-"

"No, you word vomited." He huffed this time. 

"Fine. Mav asked me if I was bringing anyone home. I told him I wasn't sure if I was coming home. Amelia then teased me about being alone and maybe my pride got the best of me." It was your turn to let out a huff. 

"That's an understatement." 

"So, then I said that I would be coming home, and bringing my girlfriend." Bradley looked at you with puppy dog eyes.

"Which is apparently me." You crossed your arms over your chest, leaning back into your chair. 

"Yes." A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 

"You owe me a big favor if I do this." Bradley smiled at your reply.

“I’ll do all your extra paperwork for a month.” The offer was tempting, but you knew it wouldn’t fully make up for this. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t know Bradley’s family, or at least what he had left of it. His biological parents had passed away when he was young, leaving his god-parents to take care of him. You had met Pete and Penny during your college graduation. They were extremely kind people, inviting you out for a celebration dinner afterwards. But that was partially why you were nervous, they knew you on a surface level. 

You had never met Amelia, only hearing about her through Bradley and seeing pictures. Bradley adored the girl, talking about her like a sister. Which wasn’t too far off. It was his god-daughter. Reminding you that Bradley’s ‘family’ wasn’t his biological family, not that it made a difference. They treated him as if he was their own, which was all that mattered. 

“Bradley, I’ll have to think about it.” 

After a few days to mull it over you decided to go. Even making a pros and cons list to help you decide. Bradley was ecstatic, sending you back a thumbs up and smiley blushing emoji. He then sent you a longer text explaining the plans for the trip. 

The office would close on the 22nd of December, allowing you guys to fly out on the 23rd. Then you wouldn’t be returning home until December 31st. You two would be flying out to Michigan, the state where Penny and Pete had raised Bradley. Which also happened to be where the two of you attended university together. It was truly a beautiful state, one that you missed a little bit. The winters were something you never fully got used to, but who ever gets used to a winter like that. 

-

The plane ride to Michigan wasn’t bad, only a two hour flight. Bradley picked up a rental car after landing so the two of you would be able to drive wherever. Pete and Penny lived around where ‘up north’ started. It was a smaller town close to the city you two went to university at. So, it was pertinent that the two of you had a car to go places whenever you wanted. The two of you loaded your luggage into the back of the car, silently praising that Bradley was smart enough to get an SUV for the trip. You made sure you grab your blanket out of your bag before settling into the passenger seat. 

“Two hours?” You asked while you placed your blanket over your legs. 

“It’s the same drive from when we were in college.” Bradley stated as he sat in the driver seat, placing the key in the ignition. You adjusted your heating settings, switching your side to max heat while Bradley adjusted his to a low heat. 

“Bradley, it’s been years since I’ve been here.” He relaxed back into the seat, shifting the gear in the center console before leaving the lot. You watched as he smiled and used one hand on the wheel, the other still resting on the gear. 

“This will be a fun refresher trip then.” Bradley said as he looked at you before focusing back on the road. 

“There is a reason why I left Michigan, you too.” White man-made hills of snow were everywhere, reminding you of your university years. The years when you and Bradley became friends. You had thought that moving to Michigan for college wouldn’t be bad, it only being four years. But you were wrong. The winters there were cold and wet, making you a hermit for almost half the year.

“The snow isn’t that bad.” You pulled your black and grey heathered beanie off your head and tossed it on your side of the dashboard. There was an odd flutter when you looked at him, his smile seeming brighter than normal.

“You say that because you grew up here.” You pointed at him, a mocking grimace on your face. Bradley chuckled at your look, swatting your finger away. 

“What? Afraid we might get stuck in the freezing cold?” You pulled the blanket up over your arms and chest, rolling your eyes at his question. “Can you pull up the GPS, maybe connect your phone to the car for music too?” 

“Am I gonna have to take requests?” You raised an eyebrow at him. Bradley’s lips quirked to one side as you started to fiddle with the touch screen in the rental. 

“Honestly, as long as you get the directions pulled up I’ll let you listen to whatever.” Bradley said as he finally made it onto the freeway. A part of you wondered why he even needed the GPS working when it was a straight shot. That was one you enjoyed about Michigan, I-75. The freeway that could take you all the way from Canada to Florida. It was practically the straight shot to anywhere in Michigan, except the western side of the state and most of the upper peninsula. But you indulged him, pulling the GPS up. 

“So, are there any specific plans for the holidays?” You put your music on shuffle, keeping it at a low volume. Bradley shrugged. 

“All I’m really aware of is Christmas Eve and Christmas day. They know we are heading out on New Year’s eve. But we might have a gathering during the week.” You laid your seat back a little bit, getting more comfortable as Bradley stayed focused on the road. 

“I’ll assume that Christmas Eve and Christmas are gonna be with the family. But what are we doing during the week? Besides lounging of course.” There were a few thumps as Bradley hit some classic Michigan potholes. 

“Of course. We are having a little get together.” Bradley muttered. You could tell he was hiding something. 

“Bradley, don’t lie to me anymore.” You squinted at him. Bradley brought a hand to the back of his neck, scratching awkwardly and the crunch of the material of his winter coat drowned out the music. 

“I uh.. I might have agreed to a little college reunion with the gang.” College reunion? With ‘the gang’? That wasn’t what you signed up for. You had signed up for hot cocoa and presents with his family, being awkwardly teased about a relationship that didn’t exist. Faking a relationship in front of their friends wasn’t in the deal. You shot up out of your seat, turning to face him better.

“You what? Bradley! I’m not doing this,” you gestured between the two of you, “in front of them.” Bradley’s face scrunched up as he looked at you. You swatted at his arm, earning a fake yelp from him as he pulled away from you. 

“Hey! I’m driving!” 

“Crash the car now then! They can’t think we are together!” Bradley rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not crashing the car, it’s a rental. Plus, it’s not like Hangman doesn’t already think that.” You let out a huff while the car went over another pothole.

“Jake can’t know about this little deal we have. He’d get off on it too much.” 

“Well, none of them have to know about it. We can keep it a secret.” Another pothole. You turned the music up then curled back up into your seat. You knew that was too hopeful, everyone of your friends would know immediately. Especially Bob and Natasha. Bradley focused back on the road after he made sure you were done arguing. 

He knew why you wouldn’t want the group to think you two were dating, many of them having bet money on your relationship status every year of university. But Jake had always been the most relentless. Bradley decided to push that thought to the back of his mind, focusing on the road while occasionally looking over at your now sleeping form. 

Bradley looked over as you started to rustle, sleep still covering your features. For a split second he smiled, taking in how adorable you looked. Bradley blushed at his own thoughts, focusing back on the road. You rubbed at your eyes, looking around the car and stretching out your arms. Bradley leaned a bit away from you as one of your hands moved into his space while you stretched. 

“Morning sleepyhead.” Bradley said as you sat up and moved your seat back upright. Bradley chuckled when you shot a glare at him. You looked out the window, noticing larger mounds of snow littering the area. There had to be at least a foot of snow in the surrounding area. You grabbed your beanie from the dashboard, putting it back on. You weren’t even outside but you could already feel the lower temperature. 

“How far away are we?” You asked, switching the song.

“GPS says twenty minutes, but I think I can make it in fifteen.” Bradley joked with a wink. You shot him a playful look before checking your phone. There was a text from Bob, making you smile. 

He was still one of you best friends from college, the both of you texting occasionally. You had met him at college, just like the rest of your friend group. Him and Mickey had been the only ones that weren’t so annoying about your relationship with Bradley. It was a short text, but one that had your nose scrunching up.

Bobert: You going home with Brad?

You: yeah, but it isn’t anything like that

You: also don’t call him that, it’s weird

Bobert: says the person who calls him B

The twenty minutes flew by quickly, taking in all of the surroundings outside. Bradley was right when he said it was a small town. You were pretty sure there were only three stop lights in the entire town. The town seemed dead, as most towns did during the winter in Michigan. Most people bundled up inside, drinking hot cocoa, and watching Christmas movies with their families. Or at least that was what you did while you were here. Bundled up in your dorm or apartment, depending on the year, while sipping hot cocoa with an iconic Christmas movie on. Bradley and Jake always teased you about being scrooge, but you couldn’t help that the ‘merry season’ just didn’t bring much merriment for you. 

Bradley turned down streets that you definitely weren’t going to remember, before turning into a driveway of a home. It was an obvious two story home. The outside of the house was covered in mismatching stones, a nice cement porch attached to the front. Dead bushes lined the edge of the driveway next to the house, wrapping around near the porch. There were lights covering and the edges of the roof, currently off due to it being daytime. You could make out small wire frames of a few deer lawn ornaments.

“This your childhood home?” You asked as you undid your seatbelt to get out. Bradley’s mustache twitched, a small curve to his lips. It looked almost like a nostalgic but melancholic look. His hazel eyes were full of emotions when he looked at you. It had been years since Bradley came home for the holidays, mainly spending his holidays alone now. 

“Sure is.” Bradley undid his own seatbelt, opening the driver door and getting out of the car. You quickly followed suit, the both of you heading to get the back of the car to get your luggage. 

A shiver ran through your body as you followed Bradley’s lead, making your way to the side door of the house. All you could think about was getting inside, the warmth of the home calling to you. A part of you was hoping that Penny might already have hot cocoa prepared for you two, even though the chances were low. Bradley knocked on the door, making sure to not hit the wreath hanging on it. Bradley stood on the small set of cement steps towards the door, creating an extremely large height difference. Bradley wiggled his eyebrows playfully as you two waited for someone to answer. 

“Are you sure they are home?” You rocked back and forth lightly, trying to generate some extra warmth. Bradley tilted his head and gave you a weird look. 

“Penny and Mav are retired. Plus, Amelia is on break from school. One of them has to be home.” Bradley stated as he leaned over to try and look in the windows near the door. “Or at least I’m pretty sure someone should be here.” Bradley smiled awkwardly at you before the door swung open. 

“What are you doing here?” A young blonde haired girl said with a glare. 

“Are you home alone?” Bradley questioned. You watched the two of them, taking in their casual conversation. You knew this was Amelia, recognizing some of her features. “You gonna let us in or nah?” Bradley’s question caught your attention. 

“Yeah, please. It’s really cold out here.” You finally spoke up, earning a smile from Amelia. 

“You’re lucky you brought your girlfriend Roo, or else I’d make you sleep in the garage.” Amelia smiled brightly after her words, opening the door and stepping out of the way. There was an odd feeling in your chest, when she called you Bradlye’s girlfriend. You offered an awkward smile to her, not sure if you would ever get used to being called Bradley’s girlfriend. The two of you grabbed your suitcases and made your way inside. It was a relief to feel the heat of the home engulf your body. 

“I’ll remember that when it’s Christmas morning.” Bradley quipped as he took his beanie off, you mimicking his action. Amelia stuck her tongue out, leaving the small foyer-like room. There were pictures of Bradley and Amelia adorning the walls in the foyer with the occasional Christmas decoration of the wall. The ages of them ranged from toddler to Bradley’s university graduation. One picture stood out to you though. It was toddler Bradley with two people you had never met. A gentle and kind looking woman next to a man with a pair of aviator sunglasses on and a goofy smile. The man was holding Bradley on his hip, an outdoor grill obvious in the background. Bradley must have realized you were staring at the picture, him standing a bit closer to you. 

“That’s mom and dad.” You turned to see Bradley merely inches away from your face. A heat you had noticed earlier started to boil under your cheeks. “I’ll tell you more about them later. Let’s get our stuff upstairs.” 

Bradley led the way through the comforting home, more Christmas decorations littering the home the deeper you got. It gave you an immediate sense of security, knowing that nothing wrong could happen here. The walls inside the home were adorned with more family pictures. You saw some of just Mav and Bradley’s dad, even ones of teenage Bradley and his mom. You knew that Bradley had lost his parents from a car accident, just had never seen what they looked like. The two of you made your way up the wrapping staircase. 

“So, we are sharing a room.” Bradley said as you made your way down the hallway. 

“We are what now?” Bradley opened the door to what you assumed was his old bedroom. It was more of a spare room now though, no old traces of Bradley lingering in it. There was only one bed. Of course there was only one bed. 

“That’s fine, but only one bed?” You questioned. Bradley scooted his suitcase to the side of the room, offering you a smile. 

“I’ll sleep on the floor, I promise.” 

“Good, cause I’m not sharing.” You playfully elbowed his arm, smirking when he made an over exaggerated yelp.  

After getting your suitcases sorted and unpacked you made your way downstairs. You found Amelia sitting in the living room, some type of docu-series on the tv. You sat on the couch opposite of her, checking your phone. Not only did you have a text from Bob, but one from Mickey now too. 

Bobert: (; sure it ain’t 

Mickey: how am i finding out from bob you’re with rooster for the holidays????

You rolled your eyes, deciding that neither of them deserved a response. You looked up from your phone, meeting Amelia’s gaze. You offered a small wave to her, not sure how to start a conversation with her. 

“So, have you two always been together?” Amelia crossed her arms and sunk further into the couch. Your eyebrows knitted together. 

“No? Why wou-” 

“You two went to CMU together, right?” You nodded. “And were you dating then?” 

“No, why are you-” 

“Hey!” Bradley interrupted you, coming into the living room and sitting next to you. He wrapped an arm behind you, pressing his body closely to yours. You could feel a small flutter in your stomach, something you had vaguely felt before. Especially with Bradley. 

Being this close with Bradley wasn’t unfamiliar, it was something you enjoyed from time to time. It was just nice to have someone there occasionally, that someone being Bradley. But this was different. You two were technically boyfriend and girlfriend right now. A couple. It made you feel something weird, something you couldn’t pinpoint exactly. All you knew was that it made your body act differently. A warmth was blossoming behind your cheeks, heart fluttering from his looks and smiles, hands developing a clamminess. 

“What are the two of you talking about?” Bradley asked with a big smile, his arm pulling you a little more snug into him. 

“You.” Amelia said with a playful glare. It was Bradley’s turn to poke his tongue out at her. The two of them started to talk while you watched them. If you hadn’t known Bradley for years, you would have thought this was his sibling. Amelia was that of sorts, even if she was about thirteen years younger than him. Bradley was an only child, but the conversation you were witnessing made you question that fact. 

“Well what about me?” Bradley asked. 

“That you should shave your mustache.” Amelia quipped. You couldn’t hide your giggle, only to be met with an offended look from Bradley. 

“There’s no way. You love my mustache don’t you, babe?” The heat flooded your cheeks once more. 

“I-I mean, I forgot what you look like without it. You’ve had it for years.” 

“You can be honest. It looks bad.” Amelia harped from her side of the living room. Bradley went to say something, stopping when he heard the door open. Amelia shot Bradley a playful look, getting up and running over to the kitchen. Suddenly you could feel Bradley’s breath on your cheek and neck, making your heartbeat pick up. 

“Sorry about all of this.” Bradley gestured to where the two of your bodies were pressed together. You turned to look at him, your eyes locking with his hazel ones. There were only a few mere inches between the two of you. “Gotta sell the part, ya know?” 

“No, no, I totally get it.” You patted at the top of his thigh, rubbing your hand lightly on his jean clad thigh. Your eyes flicked to his lips then to his eyes again. It was like something clicked in your brain, you immediately looked away from him making a small cough-like noise. “Sorry, scratch in my throat.”

Without warning Mav walked in, causing Bradley to stand up and separate from you. It was the most miniscule thing, but you were relieved. You gave Mav a smile, waving at Penny as she came around. Even though you felt welcome, all you could think about was the flight back home. 

-

“No, Bob!” You whispered on the phone. “He was like inches away, like if either of us were bumped, there would have been lip to lip contact.” You heard a small snicker. “What are you laughing about?” 

“About you coming to your senses.” You rolled your eyes, sitting down on the bed you’d be sleeping in later. 

“There aren't any ‘senses’ for me to come to.” What the fuck was Bob talking about anyway? 

“Sure there aren’t. But if you don’t see it, I’m not gonna tell you.” Bob’s shit eating grin could be heard through the phone. 

“Good, ‘cause there is nothing to be seen.” You were about to continue the conversation before Bradley walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He wore an old marron Central Michigan University t-shirt, gray sweatpants, towel still in hand, hair wet. Something inside of you lurched seeing Bradley like this, seeing him so casual and domestic. It wasn’t like how you used to see him in college, there was something different now. 

“I gotta let you go, Bob. I’ll text you.”  There was a small silence between you and Bradley before he spoke. 

“How’s Bob?” Bradley asked, gathering the extra blankets he found earlier. He laid a comforter down on the floor next to the bed. You pulled your legs up onto the bed, trying to keep them out of his way while he assembled his makeshift bed. You grabbed one of the pillows from the head of the bed and plopped it down on his comforter. 

“Bob is, Bob is fine.” Bradley got down on his knees, rolling out the blankets and fluffing the pillow you tossed down. Another silence. 

“Hey, I… I’m sorry about earlier and dinner. If I’m being a bit too much,” he looked up at you, “just let me know. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” A sincere look was on his features.

“Bradley..”

“I just need this holiday to go well, okay?” A small amount of emotion had slipped into Bradley’s sincere look. 

“Bradley, what is this really about?” Bradley looked away from you. 

“I know you don’t want to be here, but please. I need to show Mav that I’m doing well.” You watched Bradley with a smile as he started talking with his hands. It was kind of cute, something he did when he got nervous. “He keeps harping on me and I just-” You took his hands in yours, stopping the movements. Bradley finally looked back up at you, making you smile. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me this when you asked me?” You thought about dinner, how Mav kept asking questions. When did you two officially get together? When are you gonna move in together? Did you always like each other? Any thoughts about marriage? 

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured about the entire thing. Like if you didn’t want to come, you didn’t have to. Mav is just a little overbearing, and has been since my parents passed. He just-” 

“Bradley,” he stopped his rambling, “I’m your friend, okay? Friends help friends. And that unfortunately means maybe pretending to be your friend's girlfriend to make it seem like he is doing good in life with his god-father.” Bradley’s lips cracked into a smile at your words. 

“Thanks. I knew there was a reason why I call you my best friend.” A small flutter in your chest was noticeable as you smiled back at him. 

“You’re gonna owe me so much take-out and coffee after this.” 

-

It was Christmas Eve and all five of you were in the living room. It was apparently tradition for Bradley and his family to watch Space-Balls on Christmas Eve, followed by some assortment of Christmas movies afterwards. Pete and Penny were on one couch, Penny curled up under Pete’s arm. Amelia was curled up on a recliner, bundled up with a fleece blanket. Then there was you and Bradley. Bradley sat at one end of the couch, you laid out at the other end with your legs stretching out. Your feet were currently set on Bradley’s lap, one of his hands rested on your shin while the other was curled around the heel of one foot. 

Everyone was focused on the movie, laughing at the jokes they had laughed at before. But you weren’t focused on the movie. Yes, it was one of your favorites. How could it not be, seeing Bill Pullman pull out such a stellar comedy performance. But alas, you were focused on your best friend. 

After your conversation last night, it was easier. All of it. The small touches of Bradley’s fingertips or hands, the invasion of your ‘bubble’ became more bearable too. Even the small things your body was doing. Everytime Bradley laughed it warmed you, making you forget about the ten degree weather outside. The way your heart fluttered when he looked at you, it was oddly exciting. Has that always happened when he looked at you? 

You felt a squeeze on your heel, pulling you out of your thoughts. Bradley was giving you a questioning look, silently asking if you were okay with another squeeze of your heel. After giving him a soft smile and nod he turned back to the movie. Bradley had always been a type of comfort to you, but this was a different kind of comfort he was providing now. The movie played on, earning a few giggles and chuckles from you and the others. It wasn’t until the end of the movie any of you noticed the new snowflakes flurrying beyond the window pane. 

“Fresh snow!” Amelia shouted, whipping around in the recliner to look out the window behind her. You sat up a little bit, pulling the blanket on your lap up around you while inching closer to Bradley.

“Wonder how long it’s been snowing.” Bradley whispered as you leaned into him. The blanket you had was warm, but you wanted more warmth. You silently thanked whatever higher power for making Bradley a walking furnace. 

“Not sure.” Bradley wrapped an arm around you, pulling you tighter into him. You looked across the living room, catching a look from Mav. There was this look of adoration in his eyes as he watched you and Bradley. A small pang of guilt struck you, feeling bad about fooling him. But if this was what Bradley wanted, you would help. You weren’t going to be around when it blew up anyways, when Bradley had to explain why you had ‘broken up’ or that it was all fake. 

“Let’s go outside! Make a snowman or something!” Amelia turned back around and sat up. 

“I don’t know about that one.” Penny said, sitting up on the couch. “It’s pretty cold outside.” 

“We will wear our coats, hats and gloves. Promise.” Amelia held out her pinky to her mother, signaling a pinky promise. Mav chuckled at her before speaking. 

“And who is we?” Amelia shrugged at Mav’s question. 

“Me and Bradley.” It was Bradley’s turn to sit up straight, making you sit up straight. 

“Hey, I didn’t agree to that.” Bradley said, his arms still around you. 

“Please?” Amelia asked, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. Bradley rolled his eyes.

“Fine but only if she comes out too.” Bradley smirked as he gestured to you. You sat back from him, giving him an astonished look. 

“If I-”

“Pretty please. I wanna go do snow angels, but I don’t wanna go alone.” Amelia interrupted you, now giving you puppy dog eyes. You didn’t want to ruin her mood. 

“Only if I get to pick the next Christmas movie.” Everyone agreed to let you pick the next Christmas movie. You, Bradley, and Amelia hunted down your winter gear. Bradley made sure to tie your boots tight for you, knowing that you didn’t want to risk getting snow in them. Amelia grabbed your arm, tugging you down for her to whisper something. 

“Let’s pelt him with snowballs.” 

The three of you went outside, hats pulled down and far as possible. Amelia ran through the snow coating the driveway, missing the cars as she made her way to the front yard. You and Bradley walked to the yard, seeing Amelia with her arms out and wide, twirling as she caught snowflakes with her tongue. It made you smile, seeing her enjoy the very essence of what winter was. Bradley watched you, taking in your expression. He felt something blossom inside of him, not being able to place what it was exactly. 

“Ready for snow angels?” You joked, elbowing him lightly. Bradley smiled at you, before nodding and leading the way. Penny and Pete watched your snow angel joy turn into a snowball fight, you and Amelia teaming up against Bradley. 

“They’re cute.” Penny said as she watched Bradley fall down as Amelia tackled him into the snow. All Mav could do was nod, smiling as he watched the three of you. He had never seen Bradley so happy, let alone so happy with another person. 

-

“The, the, the, the Grinch!” Bradley mocked, repeating the line of your favorite Christmas movie as you two made it up the stairs. After coming back inside from a thorough snowball fight, you forced everyone to sit through the live-action Grinch. 

It was late now, the two of you making your way up to your shared room. Bradley shot you a pair of finger guns before gathering his clothes, heading into the bathroom. It was his way of giving you privacy while changing. The both of you hoped that Amelia never saw it, not wanting her to catch on to your charade. You slipped into your sleepwear, your own Central Michigan University t-shirt and sweatpants. You checked your phone after you set your dirty clothes in the clothes basket. There were a few messages from your dagger squad group chat and a few from Bob. 

Dagger Squad, Nat: Midland Street? Right? 

Dagger Squad, Jakey: i mean, fricks is an option

Dagger Squad, Javs: only saying fricks cause you live there

Dagger Squad, Jakey: sue me

Dagger Squad, BradBrad: Either spot, can’t be out late. Have to drive afterwards

You squinted at the time of Bradley’s message, seeing it was only from a few minutes ago. You typed out a small reply to the group chat, explaining you also had a drive before looking at Bob’s texts. 

Bobert: How’s the trip? 

Bobert: You’re not mad about our convo, right? 

Bobert: Sorry if I was out of line. 

Bobert: Y’all coming to the get together? 

You thought Bradley had told everyone you two would be there. 

You: yeah, just have to drive afterwards. and no, i’m not mad, just had to watch a lot of christmas movies and beat bradley’s ass in a snowball fight 

A beat barely passed when a notification dropped down, a text to the group chat from Jake. 

Dagger Squad, Jakey: just one of you lovebirds dd, i got a spare room if you need it (;

You rolled your eyes, just in time for Bradley to walk in the room. He had his phone in hand, staring at the screen as he closed the door. He turned to look at you, holding his phone out for you to see the screen. The group chat was pulled up on his screen. 

“Are you seeing this?” You held up your phone, showing him the group chat on your screen. 

“Grade-A asshole.” You joked about Jake. You climbed into bed, curling up under the plush comforter. You scooted to the edge, looking at Bradley as he settled onto his makeshift bed. 

“Sometimes I wonder why we are friends with him.” Bradley stated, plugging his charger into the phone and setting it on the nightstand. He picked up your charger cord, handing it to you for you to plug your phone in.

“It’s crazy how any of us are friends.” You said while plugging  your phone in. 

“How so?” Bradley asked, looking up at you from the floor. Your heart swelled as you looked at him, his honey locks disheveled against the pillow. There was a tiredness that was settling on his features, one that was most likely settling onto yours too. 

“I mean, aside from us, we all have different majors. It’s kind of surprising we all managed to stay friends after pre-req years.” Bradley shrugged. He tried hard not to smile as he stared up at you, your cute peeking form over the edge of the bed. The two of you just stared at each other for a moment before you spoke up again. 

“Should we set an alarm for the morning? Don’t wanna miss any presents.” Bradley shook his head no. 

“I promise you, they won’t open anything before we get down there.” You rolled back onto the bed completely, rolling onto your side. 

“Goodnight, Bradley.”

“Goodnight, babe.” 

-

The two of you were awoken by Penny knocking on your door. After confirmation the two of you were awake she told the two of you to be downstairs in ten minutes. Bradley groaned as he rolled onto his side. You checked your phone, seeing a text from Mickey, Bob, and the dagger squad group chat. You looked at the time, 9:25am, then decided to ignore the texts. Those were a future you problem. Without warning Bradley stood up, not facing you and leaving the room. 

It was odd, he at least told you good morning yesterday before heading to the bathroom. You changed into an old university sweater, waiting for Bradley to return. After a few minutes you decided to head down alone, knowing Bradley would be close to follow. 

The smell of cinnamon rolls flooded your senses, making you smile. You saw Penny and Amelia in the kitchen, talking about something while preparing the cinnamon rolls. You made your way to the first floor bathroom, deciding to use it before interacting for the day. After using the bathroom you made your way to the living room. Pete smiled at you once he saw you. 

“Merry Christmas!” Mav greeted you before frowning. “Where’s Bradley?” You shrugged. 

“Went to the bathroom in a hurry and I haven’t seen him since.” Mav nodded, a weird half frown half smirk on his lips. You went to question the look before Bradley walked into the living room. His cheeks had a rosy tint to them, making you question why he left for the bathroom even more. 

“Morning.” You greeted as he sat next to you. Bradley smiled and just nodded to you, turning his attention to Mav quickly. 

“We just put the cinnamon rolls in, so let’s do some presents.” Penny informed as she sat next to Mav. Amelia sat at her classic recliner, staring at the gifts under the Christmas tree. 

“It’s present time.” And with those words gifts were passed around. Bradley had explained on the plane ride that Mav and Penny had his presents shipped to his apartment. It made sense, flying made it hard to bring anything back with you during the holidays. But that didn’t stop them from getting the two of you new beanies and scarves, things that wouldn’t be hard to take on a plane. 

“We know it’s small but we couldn’t leave you out.” Penny said as you set the items on the arm of the couch. 

“Thank you, it means a lot.” Penny smiled then excused herself to check on the cinnamon rolls in the oven. Bradley watched Amelia with a soft smile as she shoved a present towards Mav.

Seeing Bradley like this made your heart ache, knowing that he wasn’t able to experience this every year. It was lonely living away from everything you knew. You had left your home state for college, Bradley left his for work. You had happened to both get employed by the same company after university, forcing you two to stay close. But there was a kind of comfort in having each other. Bradley’s constant open availability for a movie night and you always paying for his take out was a match made in heaven. Without a further thought you nudged him lightly. 

“You okay?” Bradley nodded, that kind tilt of his lips still on his face. 

“Of course, what makes you ask?” Bradley leaned back into the couch, placing his arm around you. There was an unspoken comfortability in the small action, for you and Bradley. You leaned into him, eyes never leaving Amelia and Pete. 

“You never said good morning.” That rosy tint crept back into Bradley’s cheeks. His eyes flicked to yours briefly before leaning in, his hot breath against the shell of your ear. 

“Sorry, I won’t let it happen again.” It was now your turn for a heat to rise in your cheeks, warming you to your very core. Was Bradley flirting with you? Your brain short-circuited, replying without thinking it through. 

“You better not.” You whispered back, leaning closer into him to see Mav open a coffee mug saying “I’m a Pielat, Pielit, Pilat, I can fly” which earned a hearty chuckle from him. 

Bradley kept his arm around you for the rest of the day, except when you enjoyed Penny’s homemade cinnamon rolls that you made sure to get the recipe for. Maybe you would make them for you and Bradley sometime, to remind him of home when he needed it the most. A warmth spread through you at that thought, the idea of being able to provide him a sense of home. You shook your head, trying to push your thoughts away. Why were you even thinking that? Providing Bradley a sense of home? The two of you were friends, not an actual couple you reminded yourself of. 

-

Bradley was beyond elated with how the trip was going. It was only three days into the trip, but your sentiment about it all had changed. Bradley was surprised when you let him, continually, wrap his arm around you. He liked keeping you close to him, snuggled into his side as you all watched more Christmas movies. There was a warmth spreading through his chest, creeping into all of his crevices. It was making him whole, fixing all the cracks that were inside of him previously. He knew that you had something to do with it. 

Maybe it was the way you teased him along with his family. Or how you fit in with them so well, holding any conversation like you’d known them personally for years. The way you made snow angels charmed him too, even though you had turned into a little devil that pelted him with snowballs. Even when you were peeking over the edge of the bed, staring down at him with your wide eyes while complaining about Jake. Or maybe it was the dream he had, where dream him was fucking dream you in his childhood bedroom. Or how he couldn’t get the images of dream you moaning underneath of him. 

The feeling wasn’t completely unfamiliar, he had felt it in the past. He had always tried to ignore it, not wanting to mess anything up with you. But you were his best friend, and had been since college. What was a friendship if you didn’t sometimes love them a little too much? Right? 

It was late now though, and you were still curled up under his arm. You looked peaceful, sleep having taken over during the final christmas movie after dinner. Bradley didn’t want to wake you, wishing the two of you could stay like this forever. He didn’t get many chances to see you this peaceful. He eventually pushed those feelings to the side, deciding it was best to get you up to the bed. He didn’t want to chance you waking up in the middle of the night on the couch disoriented. 

“Hey,” Bradley nudged your shoulder, “gotta get up. Get you up to bed, can’t have you sleeping on the couch or me all night.” You rustled a little, eyes fluttering open to meet his hazel orbs. 

“Why not?” You asked with a yawn. 

“Because I’m not a bed. Plus, you gotta brush your teeth.” You gave him a face that read ‘ah’, sitting up and stretching your arms. You looked around to see just the two of you in the living room. 

“Did everyone go to bed?” 

“Yeah, everyone turned in for the night.” Bradley sat up a little bit, looking at you with this soft look. You stared at him with a sleepy look, making his heart flutter. You looked so damn cute to him. “I can carry you, if you’d like?” 

A heat flooded your cheeks from his offer. You shook your head as Bradley stood up, holding his hand out for you to take. You looked at it skeptically through your sleepy haze, eventually taking it. His large hand enveloped yours, leading you up to your room. Bradley gathered his things and scurried to the bathroom, leaving you alone in the bedroom. A part of you was starting to question why he left every time. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you naked before, even though the times he had seen you it was an accident. 

You slowly pulled your beat up CMU sweater off, tossing it on the floor to track down your t-shirt. You put a pair of sweatpants on, t-shirt still missing. You looked around, searching for the maroon t-shirt. The door to the room opened while you were searching, revealing a shirtless Bradley with your maroon shirt in his hands. He stared at your shirtless figure, only a black bralette covering your tits. 

“I- uh.. I accidentally grabbed your shirt.” Bradley offered the maroon material out to you. 

It was as if you were frozen, staring at his body. You remembered how toned Bradley was in college, but he had changed with age just like you had. He was still slim, but it wasn’t all muscle like he used to be. The heat returned to your cheeks, radiating into the back of your neck and chest. It was a christmas miracle you tore your gaze away, only to catch Bradley’s gaze crawling all over your exposed skin. Bradley had a rosy tint to his cheeks again, something that was a common theme today. He tore his gaze away, turning his head and holding the shirt out a little more. 

“And you thought I was the tired one.” It was a poor attempt to break the new tension between the two of you. Bradley cracked an awkward smile. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth.” You said, scooting past Bradley with your t-shirt in hand. After you brushed your teeth you stared at yourself in the mirror, wondering what the hell was going on with you. 

-

"Rooster, can you come help me?" The basement door was wide open in the kitchen, Maverick at the bottom of the stairs leading into the basement. You raised your eyebrows at Bradley, who was sitting across from you at the table. 

A chill had consumed the house all morning. Everyone was bundled up in sweaters, sweatpants, cozy socks, and Bradley in a beanie. Mav had made sure to keep an eye on the thermostat, slowly watching the temp drop. Penny had left for work already, leaving Maverick responsible for figuring out the dropping heating problem. Bradley made his way to the door, asking for good luck before heading down to the basement. As Bradley's footsteps trailed to silence, your phone vibrated. 

Mickey: y'all fuck yet????

You rolled your eyes, not noticing Amelia watching you from the kitchen. 

You: we aren't gonna fuck like that

You: you’re as bad as jake

Mickey: like that??? 

You: we aren't fucking at all

Mickey: that's not what a little bird told me 

You: if you mean bob, that's not what I told him 

Mickey: it was an actual bird. or at least a mythical one (;

"A mythical bird?" You quietly asked. The text glared at you, racking the crevices of your brain. 

"Like a Phoenix?" Amelia's playful tone cut through your thoughts. 

Phoenix. Of course it was Phoenix. 

Natasha Trace was Bradley's second best friend, right after you. She went to the same high school as Bradley, and the same university as the rest of you. In college she earned the nickname Phoenix from Jake, after a wild night of partying and her being completely unphased the day after. If you had been telling Bob about what happened, there was a chance that Bradley was telling Natasha. Maybe Bradley thought all these interactions were just as weird. 

"You two are dating, right?" Amelia's voice interrupted your train of thought again. She scuttled in from the kitchen to the dining room, a blanket wrapped around her and her sweatshirt hood pulled up. She stared at you from the edge of the table. 

"What makes you ask that?" 

"First, you didn't say yes. Second, Bradley had never mentioned you prior. Just makes me wonder things." Her words weren't hurtful, she just wanted to know. Contemplation wavered in you for a moment, deciding whether to tell Amelia the truth or not. 

“Don’t tell your mom and Mav. And don’t tell Bradley that I told you this either.” Amelia’s smirk grew wide at your words. 

“I knew it!” An excited whisper left her, accompanied by a finger pointing at you. You rolled your shoulders and tilted your head at her. 

“Bradley needed someone to bring home since Mav kept asking if he was seeing anyone. And now here I am, in the freezing cold with you.” Amelia snickered at your last comment. She was a sweet girl, you could feel the secret was safe with her. 

“Bradley had never mentioned you, so I thought it was a little weird.” She admitted while pulling out a chair to sit. A nod and smile was all you were able to give her. “It’s not that you guys aren’t believable, because you are. The looks you two give each other? Those are on par with mom and Mav.” You squinted while tilting your head, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Amelia laughed. “Why are you giving me that look?” 

“What?” Amelia’s eyes widened at your question. An at home theater had formed in your brain, replaying all of the moments of the trip in your brain. 

“Are you serious?” You just stared at her in disbelief. “You’re just as oblivious as Bradley.” The both of you turned to look at the door to the basement, hearing footsteps climbing the stairs. Pete was the first one to emerge, Bradley right on his tail. Bradley smiled awkwardly, looking between you and Amelia. He clearly knew something was up between the two of you. 

“Well, the furnace is out. Gonna have to call the H-VAC company.” Pete looked defeated, fishing his phone out of his pocket. He walked over to the sink, leaning against it as he googled the local company. Bradley made his way over to your chair, placing a hand on your back and rubbing lightly. All you could do was stare at Amelia, watching as her lips curved into a grin. 

“You two good?” Bradley questioned, his hand stilling on your back. Amelia looked up at Bradley with that grin on her lips.

“Just fine, Roo. Why wouldn’t we be?” The gal on this kid was impressing you more and more. You watched Amelia as she put her hands up under her chin, batting her lashes at Bradley. It pulled a giggle out of you, watching her try to soothe Bradley’s suspicion. Bradley scrunched his eyebrows together at Amelia, confused as to why she was acting like this. 

“O-kay. Babe, can you help me pull out some electric heaters from the garage?” You squinted at him, chatter of Mav on the phone filling the background now. 

“Um, why didn’t we get those earlier?” 

“Exactly.” It was nice to hear Amelia agree with you. 

“I asked the same thing,” Bradley leaned down between the two of you, “but you know how he is.” All three of you looked towards the kitchen, seeing Mav pinching the bridge of his nose. None of you could hear his hushed tone. Bradley turned back and stood up, shrugging his shoulders. “Said something about how high the electric bill will be.” 

“Of course he did.” Amelia scoffed, shaking her head in amusement. 

“Yeah, I’ll help with getting the heaters.” In all honesty, you just wanted away from Amelia. You wanted time to process her words, without her being present. 

The two of you bundled up, throwing on your coats and boots before heading out to the garage. Bradley swiped the key to the garage door, letting you out the house first. It felt relieving knowing it was still colder outside, reminding you it wasn’t that cold in the house. Your hands were tightly in your coat pockets, trying to scavenge any type of heat they could find. Bradley headed to the tall wooden gate that separated the backyard from the driveway. His hands rubbed together vigorously, bringing the up to blow warm air against the cold appendages. 

“Forgot gloves?” Bradley smirked at your words.

“Yeah.” It was a soft ‘yeah’, one that made your heart flutter. Bradley was staring at you with this soft look on his face. He looked at your pockets, seeing small movements behind the polyester material. “Forget yours too?” 

All you could do was nod, praying Bradley would open the gate soon.  Which he did, flipping the latch and letting you pass through before him. It was left open as he unlocked the garage door, ushering you into the smaller building. It was colder in the garage than the house, but a few degrees warmer than outside. He left the door slightly cracked as he looked for the heaters. 

Your body had started to waddle in place, trying to produce some amount of heat. You took your hands out of your coat pockets, placing them between your thighs for warmth. It was only once you curled in on yourself a little Bradley noticed you. He made his way over to you, straightening your posture up to talk to you. You were face to face with him, his face a few inches away. 

“Last time you forget gloves, right?” 

“Right.” Bradley reached at your forearms, pulling your hands out from between your thighs. He brought your hands up to his mouth, cupping them with his own. Hot breath coated the cold skin of your hands, setting your insides on fire. Your brain was starting to short circuit, feeling the hairs of Bradley’s mustache poking at your hands. Hazel eyes locked with yours, almost reading your thoughts as they popped into your brain. His lips were almost on your skin, a heat was rising from your chest into your neck and face. But no matter what warning signs your body sent out, you weren’t pulling away. 

Only a few more warm breaths of air coated your hands, Bradley pulling away. His eyes never left yours, hazel orbs peering into your deepest thoughts. His hands left yours though, grabbing his beanie off his head. The fabric was full of his residual warmth, warming your scalp and ears when he placed it on your head. 

“There, all better.” Bradley smiled at you, turning to go back and look for the heaters. 

A few moments passed before Bradley found them, hidden on a shelving unit. Your heart was still pounding from the previous interaction. But a sense of relief had washed over you once they were found. There were only three of them, but the amount didn’t matter to you. You were just glad you actually found them. You grabbed one while Bradley grabbed the other two, you closing the doors and gate while trailing behind him. 

Pete looked defeated when the two of you entered the house. Amelia was still sitting at the table, scrolling through her phone. You and Bradley both gave questioning looks to them, Amelia looked up from her phone to meet your looks. She shrugged and looked back at her phone. Maverick pinched the bridge of his nose once more, a common look for today. 

“What’s up? What’d they say?” Bradley asked as he scooted past Mav, bringing one heater out towards the living room. Mav huffed before responding. 

“Won’t be here til tomorrow.” Your look was laced with surprise and annoyance. Mav must have caught it, throwing his hands up in the air. “You’re telling me. So, we will probably have to rotate the heaters. Keep them on the first floor, then move them to the bedrooms at night.” Bradley returned from the living room, grabbing another space heater to place in the crest of the dining area and living room. After placing the last one in the kitchen, the four of you settle into the living room, bundling up with blankets as you all watch whatever Amelia put on. 

Penny was equally unimpressed with the answer the H-VAC company gave, but at least they knew it would only last a night. A space heater was moved to everyone’s respective rooms, warming them barely. A sweatshirt and sweatpants were your sleep attire for the night, Bradley wearing the same. It was painful watching him crawl on into his makeshift bed. The layers barely helped, the heater not being powerful enough to heat the entire room. That was when you heard a soft chittering. You rolled over to the edge of the bed, looking down to see Bradley curled up in a blanket and shivering. Sharing the bed was the only option to keep the both of you warm.

“Bradley?” One of his eyes opened, peering up at you. 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you wanna share the bed?” Bradley knitted his eyebrows, both eyes open now. 

“I- no, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” Bradley lightly shook his head. 

“Bradley, you won’t make me uncomfortable.”

“No, I’m not getting in the bed.”

“Why?” A smirk grew on Bradley’s face. 

“You have cooties, obviously.” You rolled your eyes. 

“I’m serious, you’re gonna freeze.”

“And I’m also serious.” Bradley pulled his blanket up over his neck, a shudder running through him. 

"Bradley, I can hear your teeth. Get in the bed." Your whisper was harsh as you tried to convince Bradley to remove himself from the floor. Even though you didn't really want to share the bed, you definitely weren't going to let him freeze to death on the floor of his childhood bedroom.

“Fine.” Was all you heard before Bradley stood up. 

Hot. It was the first word your brain registered when you woke up. Maybe it was the layers or the space heater that had run all night. There was a weight on your midsection, shifting to see what it was. It was hard to make out the familiar arm in your sleep induced haze.. That’s when you remembered inviting Bradley into the bed. His shuddering and shivering form on the floor forcing you to show him mercy. 

The arm tightened, pulling you closer into Bradley’s body. His sweatshirt clad chest was inviting against your sweatshirt clad back. It was telling you to relax and just accept this new fate. The fate of being wrapped up in your best friend's arms, heart racing, hot breath against your neck. It was a truly tragic fate. 

Time passed as you laid there, staring at the empty wall on the other side of the room. It’s blank canvas, oddly taunting you, not letting you forget about your current situation. The idea of checking your phone hadn’t even crossed your mind. You’d rather stay here in this comfortable, yet anxiety inducing scenario. It was obvious that Bradley hadn’t woken up yet or else why would he be spooning you, right? 

All the cuddling on the couch was for his family, showing to them that you two were a couple. Amelia being the only one to catch on that you weren’t. Well, at least you hoped she was the only one for both of your sakes. You heard a soft murmur behind you, breaking your train of thought. 

Bradley shifted closer to you, nuzzling his face into your back while pulling your midsection back. That was when you felt it. A heat crept into your cheeks, something sparking inside of you. A small rock of Bradley hips almost had a moan slipping from your lips. Your hand trailed up to your lips, covering your mouth to hide any sounds you might produce. 

Soft sounds emanated from Bradley, your thighs squeezing together as you listened. A loop of excuses kept playing in your brain, telling you that what was happening was wrong but you couldn’t stop your thighs from tightening. It took everything inside of you not to rock back into him, for your and his sanity. But it wasn’t much longer before Bradley was stirring awake. A soft ‘hmm’ was all you heard, his arm loosening around you, then there was a light scramble. 

“Oh my god.” That’s when you decided to put the intro to acting class to work. You played dumb, acting like you were asleep. After letting out a sleep noise, one you knew Bradley wouldn’t decipher, you rolled onto your back to look at him. You squint your eyes, putting on your best sleepy face. 

“What?” Bradley sat up and scooted away from you, a small pang of hurt in your chest. A sheen of sweat coated his face, a rosy tint to his cheeks. His eyes met yours for a moment, only to be broken by him. Bradley threw the blankets off of him, scooting down to the end of the bed. This was not the reaction you were expecting. 

“Bradley?” He stopped, hand resting on the door handle. 

“I’ll be back.” Panic flooded through you as he left. Thoughts of your friendship being now ruined were playing on repeat. You knew Bradley was going to come back into the bedroom and tell you to leave, that he would book a flight home for you. There was no doubt about it. You just let your best friend rut against your ass, and didn’t stop it. Of course, your friendship would be ruined. 

But it didn’t seem that way. Bradley had come back to the room, asking if he woke you and promptly apologizing. Then the day went on as normal, or what had become the normal for the both of you. 

The two of you were laying out on the couch, Amelia hidden in her room, Mav sitting in the living room with you. Pete and Bradley were watching River Monsters on the TV, the size of the fish casually catching your attention every now and then. Your phone was mainly holding your attention as you rested your head on Bradley’s thigh. Every now and then he would peer down at you, raising his eyebrows with a light expression on his face. You couldn’t make out what it really meant, but you knew it wasn’t anything bad. 

You looked back at your phone as the British man on the TV screen talked about the fish he was set after. That’s when a text notification flashed across the top of your screen. One from the group chat. 

Dagger Squad, Jakey: tongiht fuckers

Dagger Squad, Javs: are you drunk already? 

Dagger Squad, Reuben: Where? 

Dagger Squad, Nat: Jake, you better not be 

Dagger Squad, Jakey: one typo and everyone thinks you’re drunk

Dagger Squad, Jakey: i’m at work assholes

Dagger Squad, Jakey: except you Reuben, you’re not an asshole 

Dagger Squad, Reuben: Thanks. 

A chuckle left you, the sling of texts getting the better of you. Bradley noticed your laugh, giving you a questioning look. An amused huff left Bradley after you offered your phone to him. 

“How could we not? He was notorious for showing up to 8am’s still drunk or hungover.” That caught Mav’s attention, him perking up like a puppy. 

“Seresin?” Bradley nodded to Mav, you turning to look at Mav. It didn’t really surprise you that Mav knew of Jake. It surprised you that he knew what his tendencies were. “Wild kid.” Bradley let out a hearty laugh. 

“That’s what you call it? Come on Mav, I’ve heard you call him much worse.” Mav smiled, a small nod barely noticeable. Bradley had told Mav all about Jake in college, the goods and bads. 

“That’s what I’ll leave it at. Don’t want to say anything that gets me in trouble.” 

“Like how he has an ego that could rival the size of Jupiter?” Mav caught your smirk, your words pulling a chuckle from him. 

“Something like that.” It was true. Jake had a huge ego, it was apparent from the first moment you met him. He had just this aura about him that screamed ‘asshole with confidence’, even if the first part wasn’t fully true. Yes, he was an ass a lot of the time, but he did care deeply for all of you. 

“Are you two going out tonight? With Jake?” Bradley’s lips bunched to one side of his mouth. 

“Guess so.” 

For a Tuesday night the bar was packed. Even though Natasha had argued for Midland Street bar hopping, everyone decided Frick’s was probably the better choice. They weren’t the spry young college kids they used to be. The idea of walking from bar to bar while stumbling wasn’t appealing to you, especially in the fifteen degree weather. Plus, the thirty minute drive to Frick’s was better than the forty-five to Midland Street. 

Jake lightened up the minute he saw you and Bradley walk in. Jake stopped you for a moment, making you turn to show off your outfit. It wasn’t anything crazy, jeans and a cropped knit sweater. Natasha greeted Bradley immediately. Your face scrunched a little when Natasha pulled Bradley down, whispering something to him. The lighting wasn’t the best, but there was no mistaking the blush that crept up his neck. 

“You two fuck yet?” Jake’s comment pulled you from your stare. You slapped his chest with the back of your hand, giving him a scowl. 

“Jake, this is why nobody tells you anything.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, walking towards the table. 

“People tell me things.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing the wrist of his hand that was dangling off your shoulder. 

“Javy doesn’t count.” Jake feigned a hurt look at your teasing.

“But Javy is people.” You squeezed his wrist, chuckling at his joke. Javy appeared from the bathroom, reminding you of his rule to empty his bladder before drinking. Bradley and Natasha sat down across the table from you. This had to be the first time for the entire trip that Bradley wasn’t sitting next to you. There was a small ache in your chest, watching him scoot closer to the table across from you. Jake sitting next to you was fine, but it just wasn’t Bradley.

“Is Robert coming?” Jake asked. 

“Yeah, Bob is coming.” You replied, seeing Natasha give a confirming nod. 

“Mickey?” Another nod from Nat. “Good, getting those two to reply is like pulling teeth. Reuben even replies faster than them, and he never replies.” You rolled your eyes at Jake’s comment. Group chats weren’t Bob, Mickey, or Reuben’s thing. Hell, Bradley barely responded in the group chat either. 

“What do I never do?” All of you turned to see Reuben, a long wool peacoat and scarf adorning him. That was one thing Reuben was always good at, dressing exceptionally well. You almost jumped out of your chair, hurrying around the table to hug him. It had been years since you saw Reuben. He wasn’t the best at keeping up with people, living in his own realm of existence. You were a little jealous of it, but it did supply you for satisfying reunions. 

“Aye, and Payback is here!” Jake announced, getting out of his own chair to get a hug from Reuben. Reuben rolled his eyes at Jake’s nickname, one that he earned at university for always getting payback on Jake. Jake and Mickey were always trying to pull pranks on Reuben, trying to rile him up. To which Reuben reciprocated, pranking them in ten fold. 

Reuben took his seat at the end of the table, knowing the free seat on your left was meant for Bob. There was a matching open seat across from it, free for Mickey. 

“Yes, Mickey is coming. Class was running a bit late for him.” Sometimes you forgot that Mickey was a teacher. Not just a teacher, a professor. A professor of fine art to be precise. He taught at one of the local community colleges and recreation centers, teaching a few different types of art classes. 

“You got an excuse for Bob?” Jake asked, earning an eye roll from Javy. 

“Dude, this is the first time we’ve all seen each other in years. Why you being like this?” Javy questioned. You and everyone agreed, joining in on scorning Jake for his questioning manner. 

“Excuse me for wanting to know when my friend gets here.” His hands moved up in a defensive manner. That was when the waitress came by, taking drink orders and checking everyone’s ID. Bradley was oddly quiet, making you wonder what was going on in his brain. What had Natasha whispered to him? He wasn’t nervous the entire thirty minute car ride, so why now? 

About ten minutes passed before Bob and Mickey showed up, the both of them getting there at the same time. Bob quickly took his place next to you, Mickey sitting across from him. They both gave you these looks, ones that nobody else picked up on. They knew. They knew what had happened that morning. 

A new group chat had been formed that morning. One of just the three of you. It started initially as a ‘I need to tell Mickey and Bob that Bradley was just dry humping me in his sleep and I didn’t do anything about it’ that turned into a ‘I think I might be in love with Bradley’. Bob and Mickey weren’t surprised by either thoughts. But now you were sitting at a table with them, the temptation of teasing you right in front of them. There was a small tension, one Reuben immediately picked up on.

“So.. how’s everyone been?” Reuben asked, wanting to keep the topic off the obvious. If Mickey knew anything, Reuben knew it too. Their connection started when they were roommates, only strengthening over time. 

“Good! Kids are good too!” Javy didn’t have kids, he had students. He treated them as if they were his own, doting on all of them with an equal amount of care. 

“Still don’t know how you put up with them.” Natasha said, sipping on her gin and tonic. Bradley smiled, agreeing with a nod. 

“Well, I don’t get how you can stare at numbers all day.” Javy teased, sticking his tongue out at her. 

“It’s not that hard.” Jake chimed in. Now it was your turn to join in the conversation. 

“Says the engineer.” Jake rolled his eyes. 

“What can I say,” Jake shrugged, “I’m special.” Jake grabbed his beer bottle for a long swig. 

“If that’s what you want to call it.” Bradley said, earning giggles from everyone around the table. 

That was how the night went. All of you catching up, discussing life and things you all had planned. The topic of what you and Bradley were editing came up, Reuben curious about what new books might hit the market soon. Bob had mentioned that he was doing something computer related, not wanting to explain and potentially confuse everyone. Apparently the private accounting business Natasha started earlier that year was booming; something you never thought could describe accounting. 

Bradley’s gaze would occasionally fall on you throughout the night. While at the table they would flick from your eyes to your lips, every now and then settling on the exposed skin of your neck. His looks only became more frequent after a round of shots. That hazel gaze raking over your body once you all moved to the pool table. It only got worse when you would lean over to take your shot.

That morning had been a confirmation for Bradley, confirming his own feelings for you. It wasn’t a sudden thing, feelings he had been thinking about for a few weeks now. He was hoping this trip would just confirm you being his best friend. But that was not what happened. Every time he looked at you his heart swelled, constantly fighting the urge to press his lips to yours. Not to mention he was waking up almost every morning with a hard on because of dream you. So watching you bend over against the pool table, wiggle your hips slightly before taking your shot was painful. What was even more painful when a guy approached you at the bar. 

You didn’t really remember when you finished off your last drink, or what drink you were even on. You finished the game of pool you were playing before getting a new one. Bradley had told you during the car ride there that he would only have one beer. Which he had already had, not that you were keeping count. You did count that he was on glass three of water though. 

The bar wasn’t too crowded, just a handful of older men hanging out while having some type of whiskey you assumed. The bartender took your drink order, cracking the redbull for it and reaching for the cherry vodka. That was when someone creeped up beside you, waving at the bartender for the next order. An uncomfortable feeling settled over you, feeling a pair of eyes on you. A pair of unfamiliar eyes. 

“Hey.” You looked at the guy next to you, awkwardly smiling and acknowledging him with a nod. You didn’t say anything though, hoping he would leave you be. “You look good.” That made your eyebrows knit together. 

“Sorry, do I know you?” 

“No, but I’d like to get to know you.” You could smell the alcohol on his breath, a grimace coursing through your body. 

“No.” It was a simple word, one you figured would get the point across. 

“Come on sweets, can’t yo-” 

“She said no.” That familiar gruff voice was behind you. You weren’t sure when Bradley had appeared behind you, but you were more than happy about it.

“And who are you, buddy?” That question sparked something in Bradley, his nostrils flaring. Warmth wrapped around your waist, Bradley’s arm tugging you close to him.

“Boyfriend, now get the fuck out of here. She’s taken.” A shiver ran down your spine, a heat pooling between your thighs. Fuck, why did that make you so hot? It had to be the alcohol, not the fact Bradley was calling you his. Your hand rested against his chest, leaning into him to further his words into the stranger's brain. After the stranger left, you grabbed your drink from the bar. The warmth of Bradley’s arm never left you, even when you two walked towards the group. 

It felt like you were vibrating when everyone saw you again. Everyone had giant smirks on their faces, Bob, Reuben, and Mickey whispering between each other. Jake’s smirk was shit-eating, full of a smugness you had shockingly never seen from him before. Javy nudged Nat with his elbow, both of their smirks were full of affection. 

“Some asshole at the bar wouldn’t leave her alone.” Bradley stated when you two returned, the warmth of his arm disappeared. For the rest of the time Bradley fetched all of your drinks, from cider to shots. He was currently at the bar for a round of shots for you, Bob, Mickey, and Reuben. 

“You two make quite the pair,” Reuben took a swig of his beer, “always have if I’m being honest.” 

“And after this morning?” A heat filled you at Mickey’s words, a mix of the alcohol and embarrassment. 

“Can we not talk about that?” Bob let out a chuckle.

“What? Worried he will find you were awake the whole time?” 

“Oh, don’t act like a fucking saint Bob. We all know the shit you got up to in college.” Reuben and Mickey laughed, Bob’s eyebrows knitted together. 

“No idea what you’re talking about.” An eye roll was all you gave him. 

“So when do you two fly back?” Mickey asked. None of you noticed Bradley reappear, two shots in each hand. A part of you had forgotten that bartending is what he did to help pay his way through college. 

“December thirty-first.” Bradley answered, setting the shots all down on the table. You passed him the water you had been guarding for him. The four of you with shots toasted, Bradley toasting his water cup to you all. The liquor burned as it traveled down your throat. You weren’t completely drunk, but there was definitely a thick haze wrapped around your mind. 

“Just in time for New Years.” Reuben said, leaning back and wrapping his arm behind Mickey’s chair. A small staring contest had started between you and Bob, his blue eyes intense with knowing. 

“Guess so.” A part of you knew Reuben’s words meant more than the obvious, but the last shot was already starting to catch up to you. The haze only got worse as the night went on. Natasha was fucking with Bradley at the dart board, teasing him after every shot. Jake, Javy, Mickey, and Reuben were all playing pool; teams of two which weren’t uncommon for them. Bob sat with you at the table, taking immediate notice to your zoning stare. 

“Hey, hey.” Bob waved his hand, breaking your trance and grabbing your attention. The haze in your brain was more intense than you initially thought. A small smile was what you offered him. Bob let out a sigh. 

“How you feelin’?”  He adjusted his glasses. The chatter from the rest of the bar was mind numbing, starting to overwhelm your brain. A nausea started to settle in your stomach, bubbling into your throat. Your hands ran over your face, everything becoming too much all at once. The sounds. Your friends. The trip. Bradley.

After your hands loosened from your face your eyes caught him. His mustache twitching upwards as he held Natasha’s final dart high and out of reach. It was the same look you had watched him give Amelia during your snowball fight. Something feisty but full of warmth and care. Similar to what a big brother would give his sister. It made you think about all the looks that Bradley had given you over the trip. 

They were nothing like the looks Amelia and Natasha got. Every time you had caught him looking at you there was a softness to his gaze. A type of adoration laced into it. It made you think if his look for you had always been like that. Not the goofy caring older brother look, but the one you only gave to lovers. The look that told you he would be there through thick and thin, never leaving your side when you needed him the most. 

Everything was starting to make your head spin. Bob had concern written all over his face now. Your delayed response was really starting to stress him out. 

“Water. Fresh air. I need it all.” Bob nodded, watching you start to struggle with getting your coat on. After that he wrapped an arm around your midsection, keeping you steady against his body. The two of you made it to the bar, getting a glass of water before heading outside. Bob held the glass of water until you two were outside, sitting on the smokers bench outside. 

It didn’t surprise you that nobody was out here, it was fucking freezing. But the cold was refreshing, keeping the liquid fire coursing through your body at bay. Bob handed you the glass of water, watching as you took small sips. He ran a hand through his hair, adjusting his glasses briefly. A silence settled between the two of you, both of you watching each visible exhale. 

“Why.” Bob looked at you, not sure whether you were actually asking a question or not. 

“Why what?” The water in your glass was comforting, slightly warmer than the air surrounding you two. 

“You know.” You turned your head a little, looking towards Bob. He did the same, giving you a melancholic look. “Feelings suck.” Bob let out a small huff, one that sounded amused. 

“It's not a bad thing, liking him.” His friendly smile returned. 

“I’m afraid it might be the ‘L’ word though.” You confessed. 

“Lesbians?” You gave him a playful swat, almost spilling your water in the process. You were impressed that he would quote Scott Pilgrim at a time like this. “I know,” he clarified, “and I think you do. Maybe you have for a while.” 

It was probably true. You had only thought of him as a friend for so long, it was hard to find the exact point you realized you cared for him more than that. All those late nights at the office and editing manuscripts together were starting to feel different. You wanted to say your feelings didn’t start til you were here, but that would be a lie. The double proof reads he offered you on manuscripts, the cups of coffee when you didn’t ask, even the way he lied about you being his girlfriend. It was all muddy and confusing, but it made you warm inside. 

“Bob,” it was barely a whisper, “I don’t know what to do.” Tears pricked at your waterline, a frown forming on your lips. Bob wrapped an arm around you, letting you rest your head against his  shoulder. He felt bad for you. It wasn’t because of the circumstances, it was because he knew that you truly didn’t know what to do. 

“I think you should get some sleep, then figure out what to do.” You nodded, the material of his carhartt coat rough on your cheek. “Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.” 

Bob placed a kiss on the top of your head. He sat with you until you finished your glass of water. It was perfect timing really. Bob decided to go find Bradley, only for Bradley to walk outside in a slight panic. Relief flooded over him when he saw you with Bob, worried the asshole from earlier might have come back to find you. 

Getting into the car was a bit of a challenge. Alcohol always made it harder to use your legs, balance becoming difficult. Bradley helped you though, Bob awkwardly standing to the side. Bob didn’t want to leave until he knew you were good. Bradley finished buckling up your seatbelt, closing the door before talking to Bob.

“Thanks man, I got really worried when I couldn’t find her.” Bob nodded, patting Bradley on the shoulder. 

“Bradley,” Bob paused for a moment, “take good care of her. Nat’s told me, and I just, don’t hurt her.” Bradley nodded softly, not fully sure how to respond to Bob. 

“Well, I don’t even kn-”

“She does. Trust me, she does.” Bob said. He patted Bradley’s shoulder one more time before heading back towards the bar. 

Bradley slipped inside the car, looking over at your already sleeping form. A soft smile formed on his lips as he admired you. You looked so peaceful while drunk and asleep. He let out a sigh, chuckling quietly to himself. You made his heart ache in ways he never thought it could. Everything about you he adored, it had only taken some time for him to realize it. He twisted the ignition, figuring it was time to finally head home. 

Bradley kept a watchful eye over you the entire ride home, checking periodically to see if you were waking up or not. But you never did, not until the final stop in the driveway. Even then it took a few minutes for you to stir. Bradley didn't mind that though, being able to admire you for a few more minutes.

"Are we home?" A sleepy haze was still casted over you, eyes not fully open and words raspy.You turned inward, on your side a little bit as you stared at him. It looked as though you were fighting to stay awake. 

"Yeah." Bradley wished you would have slept a little longer, anything to prevent him from not being next to you. He turned towards you, watching as you leaned deeper into the seat of the car.

"I'm tired." Your voice was barely above a whisper.

"I know," Bradley smiled, "you slept the whole way here." You ran a hand over your face, yawning afterwards and closing your eyes. "How do you feel?" You shrugged. 

"Just sleepy." You had never wanted to sleep in the passenger seat more than in that moment. 

"Hey, hey, babe. Let's get inside, then you can sleep in a big warm bed, okay?" Bradley started to panic, thinking you had already fallen back asleep. The sleepy flutter of your eye lashes informed him otherwise. You nodded, unbuckling your seat belt and sitting up a little bit. Bradley watched you closely, unbuckling his own seat belt. “You good? Gonna throw up or anything?” 

“No.” Another borderline whisper. Even though there was a thick mixture of sleep and alcohol coating your brain, it hung onto that one word. Babe. Bradley exiting the car and coming around to your side didn’t even register on your radar. Suddenly your door was opening, Bradley with a big warm smile staring at you. Why was he being like this? There was no one around to watch this fake arrangement currently, so why? 

“Come on, babe. We gotta get you inside.” There it was again. Bradley wrapped an arm under your armpits, you placing one around his shoulders. It was awkward, him being taller than you, but you two made it work. 

The two of you made your way slowly up the small driveway, to the steps leading to the door. Bradley quickly unlocked it, still holding onto you so you wouldn’t fall. It was like your legs were jello, barely supporting your weight without his help. You caught yourself onto the small bench in the foyer-like room, slumping back against the wall. Your eyes were trained on Bradley as he closed and locked the door. 

“Haven’t been this drunk in awhile, huh?” He asked, taking his coat off and hanging it up. Slow-motion had taken over your brain, slowing your movements. You had never realized how hard it was to unzip a coat until that moment. Bradley watched you struggle for a moment, finding your struggle with the zipper a little adorable. He hadn’t seen you this drunk since college. 

“Here, let me help you, babe.” That time something clicked in your brain. You let him take over on unzipping your coat, only for a jumbled question to exit you. 

“Why.. Why do you keep sayin’ it?” Bradley’s face scrunched together. He was now kneeling in front of you, taking your boots off because he knew that’d be a task you couldn’t handle. At least in your current state. 

“Keep saying what?” Bradley helped you up, holding you close to him until you were stable. 

“There’s no one around.” He shook his head, still confused. He led you into the kitchen, headed towards the stairs. You tripped a little up the stairs, Bradley shifted your weight more onto him for the trip up the stairs. 

“I’m still not sure what you’re talking about.” Bradley said, the two of you stumbling towards the bedroom. The wood floor under your feet felt slick, balance evading you due to the feeling. Just before getting to the bedroom, the slick sensation had you tumbling towards the wall. Bradley caught you from falling completely, pressing you into the wall with his body. The weight of his body on yours had your mind spinning. It was the first time you had fully opened your eyes since getting home. The mixture coating your brain was immediately gone, clarity appearing out of thin air. 

Bradley’s eyes flicked down to your slightly parted lips. He wanted to kiss you so badly. It was like his mouth was salivating with need. His hazel eyes flicked back up to yours, taking in your wide eyes. Guilt immediately flooded over him, reminding himself of your current state and how this might come off.

“I- I’m just trying to hold you up.” Bradley stammered, pulling his body away from yours. 

“I know.” 

“I just don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage of you or anything.” Bradley suddenly felt nervousness bubble in his chest. 

“Bradley,” you let out a long breath, “you keep calling me babe. Why? Nobody is around for the charade, so why?” You gestured to the empty hallway, emphasizing the nobody being there part of your sentence. 

Bradley’s face scrunched together. He hadn’t noticed himself calling you babe, but looking back he definitely did. In the car, getting you out of the car, taking your boots off. He called you babe each time. He knew why, but he was now nervous to tell you. 

“Habit.” He whispered. That whisper caught your attention. You narrowed your eyes at him, one of your hands creeping up to touch the black t-shirt under his flannel. The words were on the tip of your tongue, threatening to spill out. I love you. But instead your hand balled into a fist, pulling on the fabric of the shirt. You pushed off the wall, letting go of his shirt. 

“Of course it was.” You said. Bradley raised an eyebrow, not sure what your response really meant. He remained silent though as you started walking towards the bedroom, one hand out against the wall for support. He stayed in the hallway for a moment, cursing himself for not just telling you the truth. He wanted you to be sober for that though, wanted to know you’d remember it. He knew you weren’t black out, but he didn’t want you to write it off as your imagination. 

When he walked into the bedroom you were practically nude. Your sweater was off, jeans on the floor, currently struggling to get your bra off. Bradley quickly placed his hands on your hips, steadying you when you almost fell over. A gasp passed your lips, his searing hot hands on your skin. Bradley tried not to focus on the sensation of your panties barely touching the edge of his hands. His hands ghosted over your skin, finding their way to the clip of your bra. Your hands moved to the front of your chest, holding your breasts. 

“Let me help you,” Bradley let out a shaky breath, “before you hurt yourself.” You nodded, feeling the strap of your bra loosen. Bradley quickly found your sleep shirt, standing behind you once more. You let your bra fall, covering your chest with your hands still. Bradley got the shirt over your head, moving the collar of it down around your neck. You grabbed at the hem of the shirt, pulling it down around your body and putting your arms through the short sleeves. 

Then Bradley found your sweat pants. He kneeled down in front of you, his face level with your panties now. It took everything in Bradley not to press a kiss to your hip. Instead he guided each pant leg around your ankles, you putting a steady hand on his shoulder. Bradley was sure that his skin was going to have a mark, the warmth of your touch branding him for good. Marking him as yours and only yours. Your hand stayed on his shoulder as he stood up, trailing to the nap of his neck. He held back a gasp when he felt your finger lightly play with his hair. 

This was the most intimate thing Bradley had ever experienced. Yeah, he had fucked people in the past, but this? Dressing his best friend that he also had feelings for? He wasn’t sure if he would ever experience anything like it ever again. It was so sweet and tender. Just like the look you were giving him. 

“Sleep with me.” You whispered. 

Bradley was a goner. 

He nodded, helping you into bed before changing into his own clothes. You watched him change, eyes wandering all over his body. He crawled in the bed behind you, arm moving around your midsection. He pulled you tight against him, his chest flush with your back. You hummed lightly, basking in the warmth you had grown to love over the past few days. 

Some remnants of alcohol were starting to affect you once again. Thoughts swirled in your brain, finally working up the courage. It wasn’t like you hadn’t told him it before, like when he brought you a surprise cup of coffee or paid for the late night take out. It would be different this time though. 

“I love you.” Bradley almost didn’t hear the borderline whisper, but he did. 

There was a pause, one that started to fill you with doubt and anxiety. A part of you wished to take it back. Wanting to have not fucked up your entire friendship. A hot breath appeared on your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. Bradley was leaning up towards your ear, wanting to make sure you heard every last word. 

“I love you, too.” 

-

Neither of you spoke about that night for the rest of the trip. There was a silent agreement established that night, Bradley sharing the bed with you. His makeshift bed was finally dismantled, and so did your denial of liking Bradley. After the drunken confession of your love, it was like a weight had been lifted off your chest. Bradley felt a similar sensation about saying it back. 

Penny and Pete both said you were more than welcome to come back. Amelia had mentioned she noticed something had changed between the two of you, but didn’t elaborate. So, you didn’t tell her what had changed. But you were sad to leave them, knowing that they were the ones inadvertently protecting you from conversation that needed to be had. 

But it never came. The entire car ride to the airport was almost a carbon copy of the previous drive. You got the GPS ready for Bradley then slept in the passenger seat. Bradley stole a few glances, trying to take as many mental pictures as possible. He was certain that whatever happened that night was a trip only occurrence. One he would never get the chance for ever again. 

The airport was almost empty, most people out celebrating for the New Years. Bradley told you that was the exact reason he booked the flight for New Years Eve. A forlorn feeling hung between the both of you. It felt like this was the end of the road. Neither of you had the courage to ask what was to happen now. You wanted to ask, ask if the two of you would be going back to occasional outings and late nights at the office. As much as you wanted to know, a part of you didn’t want to. If you knew, it would be final. 

Instead, you two only made small talk about the check in process. Casual jokes and borderline uncomfortable silences were exchanged before boarding. It was even worse on the plane. Bradley put his headphones in, flicking on a podcast to listen to while you curled up near the window. The rest of the flight was quick, the entire thing being only about two hours. The city that never slept had never felt more comforting when you got back. The drive from Queens to The Bronx was going to be long, the traffic of New Years in full swing. 

Music filled the space of the car, the two of you barely talking. The lights of the city teased you through the window. It was like they were poking and prodding your brain. Snowflakes hit the window and windshield, melting on impact from the warmth of the car. A dread filled the both of you as Bradley got closer to your apartment. It felt as though these bottled up emotions would stay as just that. Bottled up and left on a shelf in the back of your hearts. 

Even when Bradley pulled up to the curb, dropping you off, it was silent. Bradley stared straight forward, focused on the car parked in front of him. The sounds of your bags being pulled out of the car were clawing at his brain. They were the sound of his time running out. He could tell you at work on Tuesday, but maybe your feelings would be different by then. The closing on the backseat door pulled him out of his thoughts. You knocked on the window, gesturing for him to put it down. 

“Thank you.” You smiled warmly. “It was fun, meeting your family and seeing everyone. I’m glad I was able to help.” Your brain was screaming to say the three words, hoping he wouldn’t have forgotten the first time you said them. 

“Yeah, it was fun. Thanks for coming with and being my fake girlfriend.” Bradley wanted to kick himself as soon as he said it. He watched as your smile faded, giving him an affirming nod. 

“I’m gonna head up now. I’ll see you at work?” 

“Yeah, see you at work.” Bradley rolled the window up, watching you walk away. Your figure was altered by the droplets of melted snowflakes, making you seem more distant. Bradley felt a prickle at his waterline, knowing tears would be coming sooner or later. You opened the door for the stairway that led to your apartment, vanishing out of Bradley’s view. Bradley leaned back against the headrest, closing his eyes tightly. 

Tears threatened to pour down your cheeks the entire walk up the stairs. For once you hated that you lived on the third floor. Hated that it gave you so much time to think about the day. All of the never ending silence. It was clear that there was something broken between the two of you. The relationship strained or shattered. You quickly slotted the key into the door, knowing that once you were in your apartment you would be okay. It would mean you were safe. Safe to let out all of your emotions. 

But no tears fell once you crossed the threshold of your apartment. It was almost a numbing sensation instead. You slipped your coat off with ease, hanging it up by the door. The urge to put your suitcase and carry-on away disappeared. It wasn’t until you sat on the couch everything hit you. No sob wracked through you, only silent tears fell. The warm streaks heated your face, your lips turning into a small frown. 

A knock at your door had you wiping away the tears. You had no idea why someone would be knocking on your door this late. After getting to the door you checked the peephole, seeing a rather worked up looking Bradley. Confusion coursed through your body, not sure why he would be back. He let you go, what did he want now? You unlocked the door, opening it to see Bradley’s eyes widen. 

“Bradley, wha-” His hands cupped both sides of your face, smashing his lips against yours. You melted into the kiss, the hairs of his mustache lightly poking your upper lip. It was like something exploded inside of you, spurring you on to kiss him back. 

The two of you made it into your apartment, Bradley kicking the door closed with his foot. You tried trailing for his lips when he pulled back from yours. Even though your lungs were burning for air, you wanted to feel more of him. His forehead pressed lightly against your own, hazel eyes boring into your own. 

“I love you.” Hearing those three words from Bradley cracked the bottle, letting your emotions flow freely. 

“I love you too.” A tear fell from the corner of your eye. Bradley swiped it away, pressing his lips to yours once again. A river of passion flowed freely between the two of you. Your arms trailed up to wrap around his neck and shoulders; one of his hands ghosting down to your waist, the other cupping your jaw still. 

Teeth and tongue clashed while the two of you moved to the hallway of your apartment. The wall pressed into your back as Bradley pressed his hips into yours. A whine broke from you when you felt his semi-hard cock pressing into your hip. Wet kisses trailed down to your jaw and neck, the scratch of his mustache intoxicating. Bradley moaned against your skin when he felt you tug on the hair at the base of his head. 

“I’ve been wanting this all trip. Kissing you like this, having you pressed against me like this.” Bradley whispered into your ear, nipping at your earlobe. He pulled back to look at you, still cupping your jaw. His thumb softly rubbed your cheek, “I love you so much.”

“Why didn’t you kiss me that night?” The question passed your lips before you could stop it. Bradley nuzzled into the side of your neck, pressing soft searing kisses to your skin. 

“You were drunk.” Bradley slotted a leg between your thighs, rocking lightly to earn a moan from you. 

“Why not any other night?” Your words were breathy. 

“I didn’t know if you wanted it.” The hand on your jaw trailed down, cupping your breast over your knit sweater. Your hips bucked against his thigh, kisses trailing down your neck.

Both of his hands ghosted down to the bottom of your sweater, pulling it up over your body. Bradley marveled at the image before him. The person he had cared for for years looked so innocent before him. The soft pink bralette you wore enticed him, teasing him with what he could now have. It wasn’t until your arms pulled up to cover yourself slightly did his concern take over. 

A part of you felt nervous, finally having Bradley like this. Letting him see you so bare and vulnerable for him. It wasn’t his first time seeing you like this, a few college run ins and the instance during the trip. But this was different. You were offering your body up to him, trusting him to please you and care for every inch of you. It was subconscious when you shied away. 

“You do want this, right?” Bradley’s forefinger touched your chin, tilting your face. His hazel eyes were intoxicating and comforting. They let you know you were safe. You nodded. 

“I do, I want you.” Bradley pressed a soft kiss to your lips, mustache prickling your upper lip lightly. 

Strands of hair threaded through your fingers, you tugging softly to urge Bradley on.

Bradley picked up on it, hands ghosting down your sides to your hips. His tongue was soft on your lips, asking for permission to enter your mouth. His hips rocked into yours, you feeling his cock growing harder. Moans and whimpers fell from the both of you, rocking together while exploring each other's mouths. It felt like you were in high school again, the excitement of minimal contact vibrating through your body. 

Your fingers moved downward, trailing at the bottom of Bradley’s own sweater. He caught onto the hint, moving his torso back from yours to pull his sweater and t-shirt off. Rough yet soft fingers ghosted over the band of your bralette. The material felt almost as soft as your skin to Bradley, his cock twitching at the thought. His fingers trailed the material up to the strap that rested on your left shoulder. He eased it down, kissing at your shoulder and collarbone. 

“You’re so beautiful, so fucking beautiful.” The whisper on your skin sent goosebumps blossoming all over you. “I’ve been waiting so long for this.” Bradley’s fingers dipped below the band of your bralette, tugging up over your chest to expose your breasts. Your nipples were pert and eager for Bradley’s touch. 

One of your hands went to his hair, tugging as he took one of your breasts into his mouth. Your back arched off the wall, pushing your breast flush with his mouth. Gasps fell from your lips as his other hand came to your other breast, fingers pinching and playing with your other nipple. Bradley groaned against your tit, the vibrations traveling to your cunt. Your insides tightened, pleading you for more. 

“Bradley, please. I need more.” Bradley let your breast go from his mouth, pressing his hips tighter to yours. He rolled them, his cock rubbing at the apex of your thighs. 

“Tell me, Tell me you want me.” A red flush had grown up Bradley’s chest, adorning his neck and cheeks now. Your free hand trailed down his chest, the need to just touch him too great. 

“I want you to feel you,” the hand trailed up to his shoulder, “I want you to make love to me.” 

Bradley couldn’t hold back the groan that escaped him. He smashed his lips into yours, hands cupping your breasts before traveling lower. He made quick work of the button on your jeans, messily shifting your pants down your thighs. A small giggle bubbled out of you as you chased his lips, not wanting the kiss to end. 

He kneeled in front of you, easing your jeans off your legs. Small soft kisses littered the front of your thighs with the accompaniment of pricks from his mustache. Fingertips ghosted up the sides of your legs, gently guiding your panties down. The kisses traveled up your thighs to your hips, both of your hands diving into his hair. Two fingers ran through your folds, briefly touching that sensitive bundle of nerves. 

“Fuck, Bradley.” Bradley pressed his mouth to your folds, flicking his tongue between them. Your body lurched over him slightly, whining as his tongue ravished your clit. 

One of Bradley’s hands moved up to separate your folds, his tongue diving deeper between them. Small prickles of his mustache could be felt on your sensitive flesh, your fingers tightening in his hair at the feeling. The flicks of his tongue drove you crazy, a tense sensation in your abdomen forming. Your head fell back, moans pouring from your lips as Bradley continued his assault. 

“Your tongue feels so good.” It was barely above a whisper, laced with a moan as your hips started to push towards his face. 

Small ripples of pleasure coursed through you, adding to the imminent wave of pleasure that was about to crash over you. Bradley groaned against you, shaking his face back and forth on you. Bradley flattened his tongue, wiggling it back and forth across your clit. The motion was overwhelming, a shudder running through your body from it. You tried to pull him off of you, knowing if he kept it up you would be a goner. Bradley let you tug at his hair harshly, never budging from you. 

The wave of pleasure you had been anticipating crashed over you. Intense pleasure flooded your system, making it hard to think. All you could do was roll your hips against Bradley's tongue. Your hands kept him pulled tightly on you, mustache digging into your folds. Bradley didn't mind, the image of you unraveling on his face had his cock twitching in his jeans. The sounds falling from you were angelic to him. An endless mantra of his name with moans mixed in. 

"Brad-Bradley! Sto-stop!" Bradley finally pulled back, letting you get some much needed relief. There was a thin sheen to his mustache, the hallway light showing it at the right angles. 

"That was so hot." Bradley stood up, kissing you gingerly. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in for an intense kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, a small wetness prickling your upper lip. 

One of your hands trailed down his chest, earning a groan from him. Only the fabric of his jeans and boxers separated the two of you. His jean clad hips rolled into your bare ones. You cupped him through his jeans, reminding you of his size. With one hand you unbuttoned his jeans, pushing your hand into his boxers. Bradley pulled back, resting his forehead against yours while letting out a loud groan. 

"Fuck, babe, your hand feels so good." Feeling him praise you lightly sent a shudder through you, your insides clenching. 

His cock was warm and velvety in your hand, pulsing and twitching with each stroke. Bradley's head drifted to your shoulder, lips haphazardly kissing at the skin. Your touch was intoxicating, his brain going fuzzy as your strokes continued. A tightness in his abdomen had started to form. One of his hands grabbed your wrist, pulling it from the inside of his boxers. 

"As much as I'd love for you to continue, I need to be in you now." Bradley whispered against your skin. His words had you arching, nodding your head in agreement. 

The thought of his hard cock opening you up, stretching you until you couldn't take it had you moaning. Your tits were pressed tightly against his chest as your lips collided once more. You pulled back from the kiss, taking his hand and leading him down the hallway to your bedroom. He rid himself of his jeans and boxers as soon as he got to your room. Bradley had you on the bed quickly, hands groping and massaging your sides. His lips ghosted over your skin as he slotted himself between your legs. 

His cock rested against your folds, twitching every now and then. The two of you kissed, consuming everything the other had to offer. Bradley rolled his hips into yours. His cock pushed through your folds and rubbed against your clit. Your legs fell further apart, preparing yourself for the pleasure that was about to come. Bradley pulled back from you. Your eyes locked with his as he grabbed the base of his cock. 

The head of his cock prodded at your entrance. Bradley watched your lashes flutter while he pushed into you. A gasp falling from your lips as he continued. Your gaze never broke his those. He watched your face as you took all of him, filling you to the hilt. 

Once Bradley bottomed out, he started pressing kisses all over you. His hips were still as he littered you with kisses. Forehead, cheeks, neck, jaw, shoulders. All touched by the tender grace of his lips. Gentle roaming of his hands around your body kept you grounded in this reality. The two of you sat there for a few moments, him peppering your skin as your walls adjusted to his size. A kiss was pressed to your cheek before he pulled back to look down at you. 

“Hey.” The word was barely above a whisper, one hand moving up to caress your cheek. 

“Hey.” You whispered back, leaning up to kiss him. Bradley shifted his hips, pulling back a little before pushing back in. 

It was a soft rocking pace he created. His hips slowly rolled, his hands moving to hike your legs up around his waist. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, hand threading through his hair as he nuzzled into you. Moans and whimpers poured from the both of you, an occasional whisper of each other’s name. His pace picked up, hips moving slightly faster and harder.

“You feel so good,” Bradley groaned, “I don’t know how long I’ll last.” 

Every twitch of his cock you could feel. Your walls squeezed around him, earning a moan from the both of you. He slowed his thrusts for a moment, not wanting to come too soon. Bradley wanted this moment to last forever, even though he knew it wouldn’t. He stopped his thrusts completely, staying seated inside of you completely though. Bradley moved up to sit on his heels, looking down at you. 

His gaze raked over you, moaning when he saw his cock pressed into you. One of his hands settled between your breasts, trailing down to your hips. His thrusts picked back up, the new angle hitting that sensitive spot inside of you. Your walls were clenched tightly around him, the both of you letting your heads drop back. 

“If you do that one more time.” Bradley smirked as he looked down at you. You intentionally squeezed your walls around him, listening to the deep groan that emanated from his throat. 

“Or what?” You playfully joked. Bradley’s hands coasted down your legs, grabbing your hips tightly. 

“Or this.” Bradley almost pulled all the way out, his tip still inside of you. He rammed his hips forward, hitting that spot inside of you. Your back arched hard, an almost painful moan ripping from you. Bradley leaned back down over you, caging you in between his arms. 

“I love you.” Bradley whispered, kissing your neck and nibbling on your earlobe. 

“I love you, too.” Bradley kept up a softer pace, edging the both of you closer to your climaxes. 

It was one of the most intense orgasms you had ever experienced. All your muscles tensing as pleasure rocked through your body once more. Emotions flowed from you, Bradley’s name filling the space around the two of you. You carded your fingers through Bradley’s hair, letting him know you had him. Bradley’s hips were stuttering, whines falling from the both of you as he came inside of you. 

Hot breath beated against your neck as you two laid there. Bradley was still inside of you, laying on top of you as he regained his breath. You kept carding your fingers through his hair, almost a mindless action now. A shudder ran through you once Bradley shifted, propping himself up on his arm. His eyes were soft when he looked down at you. 

“Hmm?” You questioned. 

“Just looking at you.” Bradley said, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek. “Happy New Years.” 

“Happy New Years.”

A whimper left you as he pulled out of you. A slick feeling replaced the new empty one, his cum dripping out of you. Bradley quickly hopped off the bed, heading to your bathroom to find a washcloth. 

“I’m sorry, I should have pulled out.” Bradley apologized, handing the warm wet washcloth to you. You shrugged, taking it to clean yourself. 

“As long as you buy the plan B.” Bradley smiled, nodding as he sat on the bed near you. He chewed at his bottom lip, nervous about the impending conversation. He had already put everything out on the floor. It was hard to take back ‘i love you’ while your entire dick was in someone. But it wasn’t like you hadn’t shared the same sentiment. You picked up on his nervousness though, reaching a hand out to touch his thigh. 

You tossed the washcloth across the room, silently cheering when it made it into the basket. Bradley took notice, elbowing you softly. “Nice shot.” 

“Thanks.” You stared at him for a little bit, taking in all of his features before speaking. “So, this?” You gestured between the two of you then scooted up the bed. Bradley laid back on the bed, you propping yourself up on your elbow next to him. Even though he was nervous, all he could think about was that you looked like an angel. 

“I love you,” Bradley started, “but more than a friend.” 

“Obviously, you goof.” You tried to keep a straight face, only to smile at him. “I love you, too. The trip really helped me see it.” Bradley nodded. 

“I knew before the trip. Well, for me, I did. Why else would you think I’d buy you so much coffee?” You lightly smacked his chest, his hand catching your hand. 

“I don’t know, maybe ‘cause you’re a good person.” You sat up, “I gotta pee.” 

“I am a nice person!” Bradley shouted as you took off for the bathroom. He got up, finding his boxers and slipping them on. 

He had been to your apartment many times, but only in your bedroom a few times. It was very you he noticed, now having the time to take it all in. There was a cork board on one wall. It was littered with pictures, ones from college and a few from the past few years. There was one specific one that stood out to him though. It was of the two of you, on that neither of you had taken. He had an arm wrapped around your shoulders as the two of you looked at one another. Must have been from an office party. It made him wonder if the two of you always looked like a couple to everyone. 

“What?” Bradley looked at you, taking in your new clothed form. It was only a baggy t-shirt and underwear, but god did he find it beautiful. 

“Just looking at these pictures. Wondering if we always looked this good together?” You bumped your shoulder into his arm playfully, looking at the same picture. 

“What are you implying?” You knew the answer, surely you did. Bradley turned to you, cupping your face with one of his hands. 

“I’m implying that I’d like to be in a relationship with you.” A flutter appeared in your chest when he pressed his forehead to yours. 

“I think I’d like that, too.”

[gamescardblog]

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[howdytherepardner]

end of 2023 music round-up

read this in docs | most listened 2023 | the Mountain Goats Digest

Order of contents:

Artists with major releases not from this year that I've really been enjoying

Albums worth noting

An extended aside on Sufjan Stevens' artistic output this year

Favorite Songs

Favorite EPs

Favorite Albums

It should be noted that entries in each category are not listed in order per se, but typically the things that show up later are the things I felt stronger about. Also, there is basically no overlap between categories (fav songs are not on fav albums, e.g.) for the sake of keeping discussion about a given project contained to one section. I tease more about my feelings on songs in Albums, albums in Songs where I have something to say about them in depth.

Also: there's so much good stuff from this year I haven't listened to. So sorry about that.

~

Artists Without Huge 2023 Releases, Nonetheless Apart of My Year

Ken Pomeroy

After watching the penultimate episode of Reservation Dogs, I was furiously googling what song was playing during the credits, and only realized a few weeks later that the artist had posted noting that "Cicadas" was not yet released. When it does come out, it stands to be my favorite song of that year, but in the mean time, 2021's Christmas Lights in April is a truly beautiful work. Whatever folk-acoustic-country genre you want to put on it, it's a phenomenal display of songwriting and performance that really shows that Pomeroy is worth watching and supporting. This year, she released the single "Pareidolia" (also featured on Rez Dogs) which I liked.

Louis Cole

It might be a bit of a boring take to say that a Grammy-nominated album (this year) and song (last year) are good, but that description clouds the experience of 2022's Quality Over Opinion. Cole is not concerned with a particular consistency across the 20 tracks other than quality - with the tender acoustics of "Not Needed Anymore" to the harsh spoken word of the introduction, the straight forward dance-jam of "I'm Tight" to the searing shreds of "Bitches." Indeed, the only vision for the record is Quality, and I think Cole exceeds that standard. I might always have a soft spot to put tracks from Time ahead, hitting me when I had maybe a tad more neuroplasticity. But my first time hearing "Let it Happen" blew me to absolute pieces - I can't recommend enough.

Emmy The Great

Emma-Lee Moss retired the project earlier this year, in her words "a costume [she] put on at the age of 21." (x) It's hard to really describe the way this makes me feel, especially as a late-comer to the party, but good God, it evokes something strong. I listened to April senior year of college and it has remained uniquely attuned to my experiences navigating newly "real" adult life, especially in the cities I've lived. The sound of Virtue takes me back to the aesthetics of naughts, and the lyrics bring me to the worries of lives that I have yet to live. And Second Love, well, it just really crystallizes the wanting that I seem to place myself within, "Constantly."

So I feel conflicted about its end. Were it more popular, were streaming services not stripping income from artists, would there be greater reason for it to persist? Perhaps, but I do suppose nothing can go on forever. Moss seems focused on moving forward, and I'm excited to see where she goes. In the meantime (ie my 20s), I will be spending a lot of time with all that she's shared over the years as Emmy.

~

Albums Honorably Mentioned

Radial Gate - Sluice

I didn't know anything about Justin Morris's project until I saw them as an opening act back in May. Even with a chattering crowd between the stage and me in the back of the venue, their songs still reached my mind and hit in a strange and beautiful way. Radial Gate resonates, in my experience, with the long moments that come in contemporary young life in rural places. A pinch of emo gives just enough edge to the folk foundations of the project to bring a lot of intrigue.

Aperture - Hannah Jadagu

Jadagu is synced with the beating heart of 'bedroom pop,' but to extend the metaphor she is really working as lungs for the genre - taking in fresh air to give new life, and exhaling strong gales of intention in each track. Even if the album as a whole didn't resonate with me too deeply, I don't think it misses a beat, and on the whole is a really nice listen.

The Rise and Fall of a Midwestern Princess - Chappell Roan

This album is great. Bop after bop, with a couple of real tearjerkers in there for good measure. I don't think it resonated with me super deeply, but I think the project does have real staying power and I think it brings pop to all the right fringes, with different characters (especially apt in the vein of the drag styling) displaying attitudes on shared struggles. If you like pop and people doing interesting things with it, you will (and likely already do) love this album.

Sit Down for Dinner - Blonde Redhead

I get trapped in the soundscape of this one - how a welcoming ambience also carries with it this great unease.

Genevieve Artadi - Forever Forever

It goes beyond just what might be summarized as jazz-informed resplendentness. My first listen to this one was a nice long wander through a city I had yet to live in. Even if I can't call it a favorite, I still delight in giving this album a spin. There is some overlapping aura between all the songs, but each one is so distinct in ways that is sometimes hard to come by. It's so alive, and meditating on what it means to be that, and I love trying to find some new footing in each track as I listen to it.

Sampha - Lahai

By some set of standards, this is probably the best sounding album of the year. Sampha is no stranger to pushing boundaries and bringing a really evocative, percussive feel to his work, and Lahai is no exception. Anyone unfamiliar should absolutely give this album a spin. My first listen of "Dancing Circles" was mindblowing. It falls short of my favorite in part because I think it is interested in trying a lot of different stuff, more than it comes together as a cohesive experience. I love love love his debut, and it sets a high bar, with the many distinct ways it moves the listener over its runtime. Based on the reception Lahai has received, I'm sure that people are feeling it a lot stronger than me, and I'm okay with that. It's a great work and even if it feels a little busy, I still really enjoy the listen and look forward to seeing how it might grow on me in the future.

~

Now, an extended aside about Sufjan Stevens's output this year and my experiences with it.

Reflections

Starting off straightforward enough, I enjoyed this release. I'm not a big cultivator of classical or specifically piano in my regular music rotation, but I found the songs here to bring a good bit of intrigue. Timo Andres and Connor Hanick's performance do well to inflect the strongest points of Stevens's composition. Of all the tracks, I think "Reflexions" creates the most memorable, haunting aura that serves as a space for a listener to, indeed, reflect. Worth a spin for that one alone in my book, but the people seem to enjoy "And I Shall Come To You Like A Stormtrooper In Drag Serving Imperial Realness." Naturally so.

Javelin

I need to start this section by saying that for many months this year, I would put on Carrie and Lowell about every other night to fall asleep. Conceptually this is a somewhat surreal, if one is to accept the album as just its go-to description - a meditation on grief for his mother's death and their troubled relationship - as something that reliably puts me gently to rest. This image is certainly understandable, as "Death With Dignity," "Fourth of July," and "The Only Thing" cementing this as the key thread of the record. This is something I was locked into for a while, and for some sense of reverence, I think I really tried to hold off from listening to the album all that much.

But this year I kept coming back and back, in a way that I've done with his other albums before, finding new grounds to stand on in each track, and really asking what the album does beyond its summary. It's crafted to have such a solidly consistent soundscape, but just how differently each track can function is really intimidating - and breaking through the blanket impression of what the album "is" has been really rewarding, especially with how resonant I find so many lines I feel able to place in each track. Finding this new personal significance has been one of the most important music experiences for me this year, in a time where I haven't felt the resonance with a lot of new music.

With that thought expressed, the figurative blankets over Javelin has been thick and convoluted. I have generally tried to keep up with news about Stevens and his projects, and this year it meant being aware of Evans Richardson IV's passing and rumors of their relationship months before the album was announced, thus months longer before he publicly shared the news about both. With this general shroud of information, it was a lot to see 1) rumors back in May from Sufjan fans about an album releasing 2) people speculate on relationship troubles in his life after "So You Are Tired" dropped 3) it being billed as a follow-up to Carrie and Lowell 4) critical praise immediately before the announcement 5) praise after the announcement, and a lot of content being centered on the album just "being sad" 6) Sufjan fans specifically focusing in on the vinyl release cycle and speculating about the exact ways his relationship informed the record 7) people asking if Stevens will ever tour again.

This is not to say that any of these sentiments were widespread, nor am I trying to avow that there is only one particular way that one can or should experience the album or Stevens's work. But the flippancy between different assumptions about his life or what this work implies about it that I have seen has done enough to fuck with my mental. That cloud is keeping me from engaging with the album to a deeper extent; I enjoy the songs, and I do think it is beautiful - but I think there's so much more behind it that I need time to reach. And in that light, and with all that has informed the album, I can't place Javelin or its tracks against any other music. Attempts to rank it would fall short of the devastating miracle that Stevens released an album this year at all.

Does that make sense? Maybe not. Sorry. Anyway, I think the art book on the physical release is a really interesting accompaniment, especially the 10 essays. And I'm still rooting for it in all the other year end lists out there.

Let's move on to the music which stood above the rest for me.

~

Favorite Songs

"Thousand March" - Mr. Sauceman

I haven't kept up with a lot of games since leaving high school, but becoming aware of Pizza Tower and its soundtrack was nice. What the game is doing is great, and I think it more than earns the praise it has received. The rest of the soundtrack is pretty good too, but this one transcends to me. It creates such an intense aura and makes a statement on its own, working well in thematically in the level that it comes from, but still standing alone to create an incredible narrative.

"No More Lies" - Thundercat and Tame Impala

I feel like people forgot about this one - maybe it's impact at time of release was the novelty of a now-obvious crossover? But I think the track speaks for itself and speaks strongly, with the pair playing off each other in a way that nods to their influences and is playfully self-aware respective songwriting personas. The instrumentation is very pleasing and I feel like I could throw this on any year and it'll find a place in the music landscape; way more than just the sum of its constituent artists.

"The World's Biggest Paving Slab" - English Teacher

It might be the unassuming start that gets me. It could have stayed in the vein of a bass driven head-nodder, but something about that shimmering chorus captures me and really elevates it to a sincere statement. It makes sense to me in a world of little sense.

"Love As A Weapon" - Alan Chang

The lead single from Chang's solo debut, Check Please. The algorithm gave me the music video, and I think that's one component of its charm, but hardly the whole. All the indie/jazz instrumentation is an instant hook for me and great to dance around in, but the vocal performance is the earnest thread worth following throughout.

"Playing Dead" - Glenna Jane

I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think there's a precise kind of fullness from the 00s/10s emo that gets captured in this track that's somewhat absent from a lot of other recent work informed by that scene. Certainly, it makes sense that people who were young during that era are trying to honor those sounds. But where others might play more ambiguously, allowing for more broad appeal, Glenna is cutting straight to the bone about her own experiences. It puts one on edge, the verses being a bit tough to stomach in casual listening, but it really gives the chorus such a strong and impactful weight. "Have you left yet? Are you playing dead?" Though I'll miss the intimate singer-songwriting she used so well in Vestige, I'm excited to see where this path leads.

"Fingertips" - Lana Del Rey

Let it be said, "A&W" is a great song and worthy of all the year-end recognition its getting, pushing a particular envelope and tickling ears in all the right ways. But this one just gets to me. Del Rey writes such a stark landscape and slowly, desperately dances within it, with the track structured in a way to barely allow a moment's reprieve. It's sincerely moving and really worth savoring. I couldn't tell you quite why, but specifically "I gave myself two seconds to cry/ It's a shame that we die" brings me to my knees.

"black mirror" - Noname

I struggle a bit with Sundial. Certainly, a lot of great art requires effortful engagement to really be rewarded by what lies within, but in many respects, I feel that much of the songs of the album are saying the same things on the same themes. Even ignoring the notorious feature (which I don't think completely soils any artistic merit, but does create a lot more for a listener to reckon with) I think the album fails to live up to what this song, its introduction sets up. Immaculately produced, her lyricism and rhythm are the most compelling and engaging at this point - addressing the myriad takes that people have about her impact and politics by pronouncing fully her humanity. In an effort that takes the discussion to a level (in my opinion) past the rest of the album, she displays her imperfections without surrendering the sincere beliefs that motivate her to strive for a better world.

"Crash The Car" - KNOWER

I think I needed to explain Cole and Artadi before we got to here, the last track on their collab's latest album, KNOWER FOREVER. I could do more to explain my feelings on KNOWER, and explain how I find myself leaning more towards the songs which sound very separate from their solo work. ("Do Hot Girls Like Chords?" e.g.) But this song... really feels like a true fusion of both. Artadi's tendency for abstract but strongly sentimental lyrics, a tight jazz outfit braided with orchestral flair more common in Cole's newer works. It is both grandiose and contained, a testament and tribute to all the work they've done together, emphasized strongly by the message it sends out. What a journey, what a fucking chorus. Rejoice, and crash the car.

runner up: "Same as Cash" - the Mountain Goats

Not all the time, but some of the time, I Only Listen To The Mountain Goats. And this one kind of snuck up on me, as I was saving Jenny from Thebes until after I finished all prior tMG albums - which put a lot of very immediate weight on the record. But this song cut through all of that, my own expectations. John Darnielle is as attuned to writing the grimes of Americana as always, similarly true for the rest of the record. But something about how the scene is painted within majestic strings and strums (to my ear, almost straight out of an RPG soundtrack) sets this song above the rest. It lends a certain kind of romantic optimism to a moment of anxious, stressed despair - not in a way that makes that optimism dishonest, but enough for one to believe that there is indeed some future after this struggle to persist. One where one can ride their motorcycle under blue Texas skies, to bask in a life free from fear.

best song of 2023: "The Water" - Indigo de Souza

Speaking of riding a bike. I'd like to say that the best parts of my year were spent riding around, with little other aim than to explore a little and get home... eventually. It is true of New York and all the ways in which her rivers express themselves. But good God, there are miracles to be found in Lake Michigan. And I imagine it's at least partially a miracle that in the face of all kinds of incentives to develop property right along the third coast, most of Chicago's eastern edge is just for the public to use and experience. Maybe there's room to improve, but it was everything that I needed. Just to ride, or to run, or to sit. To look on forever, irrespective of it being a smaller forever than oceans. To be lost in thoughts. To be alone. But not alone, because it is always there.

I've loved all of de Souza's albums so far, and even if I couldn't call All Of This Will End my favorite of the bunch, it is still an incredible set of incredible songs. It is by no fault of the rest that "The Water" transcended, jumping ship and ingraining itself into the past year and my memory of it. All the secret little alcoves I've found and placed in my heart. The moments of serenity, and belief in good things.

Poetic if true. But maybe it's just the simplest answer:

I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love I really love the water. the water. the water.

the water.

~

Favorite Extended Plays

going...going...GONE! - hemlocke springs

I don't think there's too much to be said for this, other than it being just a really high quality set of pop bops. There are a bunch of instrumental and vocal quirks that really push it to go beyond its 80s-synth influences (Psychedelic Furs, Duran Duran, et al.) and overall it works hard to set itself apart as a strong effort to make something that feels completely fresh but still lingers as hauntingly familiar.

runner up: Sandhills - Toro y Moi

With his virtuosic tenor for the spacy, the funky, the synth-y, I think a country folk project is probably the last thing I would have expected from Chaz Bear. But his efforts here remind one of how fruitless setting a particular field of expectations on an artist, in a way that is largely unassuming. I can't say that MAHAL blew me away, but how plainly it wore some of its production was a natural precursor to this release, where he is about as plain as you could expect: some guitars and talking about home. The way he plays with twangy notes shows a cautious, but passionate interest in how archetypical country sounds might fit within his songwriting chops. That kind of exploration is so wonderfully apt for an EP, and even more magic that it is so well done in under 14 minutes. For anytime I might also be thinking of that weird rural part of my soul, I'm happy to let Bear take me for a resonant spin.

best EP of 2023: Circle of Signs - Mariee Siou

I would love to shout from the rooftops about this release, because it is a project to mark the century so far. The past couple of years, I've been obsessing over her past releases as some of my favorite folk albums ever. But here, she is on a whole new level. While as firmly invested in the natural world and the legacies people inherit, a sense of urgency in heightened on this record, with Siou holding a focus on the climate crisis, and specifically its impacts on her home region as well as how it manifests on a personal level.

She meets urgency not solely through masterful lyricism and careful vocal performance, but by escalating the depth of instrumentation from a more acoustic focus in her earlier entries to something approaching rock ballads and orchestral pieces. But these pieces do not lose any of Siou's delicate precision. They are so complex and rich, but with 4 songs lasting about 25 minutes, she gives listeners a chance to sit more fully in meditation with each track, and really absorb the method, message, and feeling of her work. I could pick any song as song of the year with confidence, and I have no doubt that Circle of Signs will remain a sincere point of reflection for decades to come.

~

Favorite Albums

Water Made Us - Jamila Woods

I don't know where to start in a way that would not be summarizing what has already been said, or is self-evident from the album itself. What I want to say is that after previous records more focused on life's intersections with the political, Woods is diving pretty headstrong into the personal. What I want to say is that it shows an abstract, but intense arc on the growth and decline of a romance, and that Woods is so intently combing through moments in search of truth. What I want to say is that Woods is a legend of the craft, and I think that even in all its subtler moments, she has created an incredible experience from start to finish. But I don't know if that enunciates enough how exactly I feel about it.

KARPEH - Cautious Clay

Like I imagine many, I was only acquainted with Joshua Karpeh's project from the song "Cold War," which takes themes of trying find footing after a falling out over an incredibly produced track. The trickiness of that negotiation is common for songs about individual relationships, but on this album, Karpeh takes the lens to his family overall. In an almost ethnographic effort, it is a tender and honest approach, trying to acknowledge fraught histories and how they have shaped himself and his loved ones. But it lends a compassion that allows one to more fully process these relationships, and reflect on the stages of his life with full consideration of the world yet to come. Impassioned jazz performances with apt collaborations make this a meditative landscape (I love "Glass Face" and "Blue Lips") like a sauna. There are moments of scorching heat and clouded visions, but a place in which one is present with purpose: to understand and release tension. Really beautiful.

Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!? - McKinley Dixon

It's a sublime composition for an inspired musical concept. How Dixon has brought together collaborators for such a phenomenal sound is not completely unprecedented, yet it is so uniquely interested in not only synthesizing sounds from across genres and generations, but also finding the best in each and making them sing together. It is a symphony and sincere triumph in honoring all that came before, and plants seeds for the world yet to come. The title track is probably one of the most wonderful, celebratory closings to an album ever. So fucking good.

Lucha - Y La Bamba

To start, it should be said that I neither speak nor understand Spanish at present, which hinders me from engaging in a significant share of the album on a lyrical front. With that said, this album blows past any barriers I might have. What a phenomenal fucking sound they've cultivated here. Just dripping with intention in each hit of the percussion, in the voices behind the words. Every effect to bring the guitars towards a new psychedelic edge, the layers making the horns a separate but whole aspect of each song. I don't know how to put everything into words, specifically why this lands so much for me personally.

Why Does the Earth Give Us People to Love? - Kara Jackson

When re-listening on a short flight in a small plane during the holidays, forgoing a book for this leg, I was blown away by how subtly unrelenting the album is. I think it is the darling indie debut of this year, and rightly deserving of that recognition, but I feel that it is vital to experience first hand. Jackson's voice is the driving force of the entire record, and her performance and lyricism does not on the surface seem grandiose, but how steadily she paces her words to (un/re)ravel stories of former lovers is just so slowly devastating: rhymes lead into exactly what you expect, and you are powerless to change that. How intentionally the accompanying instrumentals are layered with this, ranging from crisp orchestrals to plunks from an old stereo, really gives a texture to each step in the album. Every song comes together to give real weight to the question of the album's title - on what cause has the earth conspired for us to know our lives and loves? Is the pain that these things bring also natural?

runner up: The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We - Mitski

You already know. When it came out in mid September, I think it was prescient of how the rest of the year would unfold I think. I can't tell you why, but I could tell you that it progresses in this strange way, like it's crawling up the back of me, scratching up legs and getting blood next to stretch marks. It's clear when it's at the nape of the neck, but right as that first strum comes from "My Love Mine All Mine," it jumps right for the jugular and ruins the rest of my face and mind. The rest is kinda just lying and watching the sky blow by, clouds drifting alongside my remaining thoughts. Again, you already know. Mitski is a veteran but hardly jaded (perhaps, only a pinch in a way that really deepens this album), and I am very grateful for the work that she continues to share.

finally, my album of the year.

To start, I need to start later in the 2023 with a project release almost a decade earlier - the self-titled Black Belt Eagle Scout EP. I think I stumbled on this way earlier, but only got around to listening to it in the end of the fall. It's a very collected, steady, and beautiful rumination (lasting 43 minutes, which the EP designation might not have you assume). Different but not totally distinct from the heavier rock elements that have defined KP's most known work in the project, playing a lot more in spacious and lo-fi soundscapes. Though, it really stands out to me as something so grounded at the same inter/personal foundation that really prevails in At The Party With My Brown Friends. It was a welcome discovery for days that began to get colder, and the onset of a winter of discontent, for the sitting in my apartment and all the thinking that comes with that.

Cut to 9 months earlier from then, or about 9 years later in the catalogue. It is February, and I am walking through a park in Chicago and listening to The Land, The Water, The Sky, and I am pretty sure that it is my album of the year. It comes in waves at first, crashing against shores with "My Blood Runs Through This Land," later slowly ebbing tides in "Salmon Stinta." "Nobody" is the wind in my hair, "Fancy Dance" the sweat on my back. "Sčičudᶻ (a narrow place)" is a cold spot on the earth that I can feel with my face. So many moments lush with the grit feeling of being alive, with still the tenderness of living. Any of those songs, for the record, could also easily be my song of the year.

I don't know how to convey it. It really feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. I keep coming back to it. It is the only thing that makes sense to me. How KP reckons with this life and the world so directly, speaking the truth as they feel and know it. Lush guitar riffs (that I've had the pleasure of dancing to live) that just light up the soul. There is an urge to scream it loud, as it is shared in the record's final moments: The Land, The Water, The Sky (best album of 2023)

thanks. see ya later.

[yrhuef]

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[brummiereader]

@emotionalcadaver wow...what a chapter ❤️. The ending left me lost in thought with Tommy's reaction. My heart completely broke for him 😥.

Before I get into the heavy emotions of this chapter, and boy were they heavy 😭, I need to talk about the fine smut at the beginning 👌.

Hot, hot, HOT! These two are just phenomenal together 🔥. I feel I always pick out the smallest of sentences that stand out to me. I don't know why but this one did something to me...“Fuck,” he hissed, suddenly pulling back. “Fuck, do you want to…?” I think it's the neediness I can hear in his voice when I read it 😩. “Shit, shit, shit, can’t hold it–” he grunted, another perfect line from him, I will never, NEVER, get enough of Tommy being unable to hold it in (literally😂). A horny Tommy will always send me feral. And you wrote their mutual need for eachother just, perfectly! He's the gift that keeps giving, I feel like he was out to reach a world record with her in that scene 👌. Merry Christmas indeed! Hun, you need to guide me to the chapter where they first get down to it 🙏!

"The call came in the morning"...fuck. I wondered how you would write this upcoming part. I love the fact that this is really Lucy and Tommy's story. It revolves around scenes we saw with Tommy, and parts that would be uniquely about him. And this entire part broke my heart as much as It did to see Esme hugging John's dead body. It had just as much emotion and depth in it.

Outside, Small Heath was still asleep. It would only remain like that for maybe a few minutes more. Once the sun cast a few more bright rays onto the cobblestones, the city would rise. Men and women going to work. Children playing and begging in the street. Horses and dogs roaming both the alleyways and roads. How you mapped out this whole part was beautiful, Laur. With Lucy inside taking the dreaded phonecall, we have a small moment of peace with Tommy outside with Asher. I honestly felt like I was with him in that moment, thanks to the beautiful description you gave above. I go back and forth in my head whether I think Tommy is really best back in Watery Lane or up at Arrow House. But I think your writing about him wishing to be anywhere but there perfectly depicts the inner turmoil he's battling with when it comes to him having to face all the problems that comes with being back in Small Heath.

My heart was thumping when Lucy approached him. One, I didn't know how he was gonna react, and two, the way Lucy lovingly comforted him before she broke the news. What an absolutely sublime woman. I mean, from then on until the end of the chapter, her mindfulness to Tommy's pain and needs was incredibly heartwarming. Her soft approach, honestly had me a little teary ❤️.

“I’ll stay out here,” Lucy said, once they got to the door and Tommy wrapped his hand around the doorknob. He shot a look that almost seemed a little panicked. “You’re not coming in?" Gosh, my heart can't take it 😭. The panic from him, not wanting to face it alone without his biggest support, gahh... 😩. But once again, Lucy put her emotions aside, encouraging him to take the moment to say goodbye to his brother with Arthur.

Esme's reaction was as equally as heartbreaking as the entirety of this chapter. I'm so happy you left that part in. But what made my heart flutter was this...As he passed her, he took Lucy’s hand, walking with her to the doors. This subtle gesture from Tommy, told me everything I need to know about how strong their relationship is. That when everything's gone to shit, he doesn't push her out, he leans on her and they get through it together ❤️.

Otherwise the people on the street below would be getting treated to quite the view. I know this is not the time and place but, he could have turned around for a quick sec for us all to have a quick peek 🤭😂!

Bath, love?” she asked, angling her head towards the steaming tub. He glanced over like he’d only just remembered it was there, and nodded. His absent mind from what's going on around him, is a perfect depiction of how deep Tommys sorrow goes. He lost not only his brother, but his brother in arms. They had been through war together. The pain of losing another person to a different kind of war must be soul destroying for him and for Lucy to see.

Alright, I shed a tear. Yep, Brummies dark cold heart was able to cry. I blame your fantastic writing 😂. The next part honestly left me a little speechless and breathless. If my heart wasn't thumping enough before, it was literally rattling in my chest after Lucy gave him the reassurance to cry....“It’s okay,” she murmured, and it was as if he were waiting for her permission before the floodgates opened completely, and a strangled sound left his throat. “It’s okay,” she repeated, holding him tighter. Tommy crying is a rare thing, and I don't think we saw a reaction from him like this in the show when John died. But I'm so glad we did here, in the private of his old bedroom with Lucy. It felt incredibly fitting for him to let it all out in front of her. I'm taking this as canon now. Because I'll bet money on Tommy having a moment like this in the series, in private. But he would have been alone, which makes this scene so much more special that he had Lucy with him.

And in her arms, Tommy finally allowed himself to weep. So beautifully written ❤️.

What an incredible chapter, hun! Your writing is a joy to read 🤩. I'm so looking forward to reading the chapter tomorrow night. It's like my own little bed time story, I love it ❤️!

Part 21: The Shadow of the Abattoir

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: Tragedy arrives even faster than they'd anticipated. 

Word Count: 4,416

Notes: Warnings for depictions of smut, minor/canonical character death, blood, injuries, and references to violence.

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 4: No Peace For You Ever

Right. So.

They may or may not have failed to properly think over the sleeping arrangements before they decided to return back to the Shelby’s home in Small Heath. 

In all fairness, they’d been a little preoccupied.

Lucy watched Charlie cuddle up into the narrow bed shoved in the corner of the all too familiar room. It felt strange to be back in here. She could recall so many nights spent, sneaking up into this very room after dark, her and Tommy plastered up against one another in the tiny bed.

No matter how small both she and Charlie were, though, she doubted all three of them were going to be able to fit. Not without risk of someone getting squished or elbowed in the middle of the night.  

She probably shouldn’t have sold the flat she’d once had in Small Heath. But after they bought Arrow House, she almost never used it, and if she ever needed to spend the night in Birmingham, she could stay here at the Shelby’s house or book a room at the Midland Hotel.  

It didn’t really matter one way or another tonight. Neither of her or Tommy were likely to get much sleep. But they were going to need to figure something out for the future. 

Who knows how long they would be here for. 

“Goodnight, Charlie,” she said to the sleepy boy, pressing a kiss to his brow. “Sweet dreams. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Lucy,” he chirped sweetly. She smiled at her boy, giving him a fond ruffle of his hair before stepping away so that Tommy could perch on the edge of the bed and say goodnight. “I’m going to run to the loo,” she mumbled into his ear. He nodded, and with one last kiss blown to Charlie, she slipped out the door and down the hall to the tiny washroom. 

Hands bracing on the edge of the sink’s basin, she stared for a long time at herself in the mirror. She looked horrid: a couple faint blood stains still present along her jaw and one of her cheekbones. Dark circles under her eyes. Curly red hair even more unruly than usual, makeup smudged and making her look a little like a raccoon. 

With a sigh, she turned on the water, splashing it on her face, scrubbing away the remnants of her eyeliner and any more lingering blood on her skin. There was a bathtub in the room, but she was frankly too tired to put in the work to get it filled and bathe properly at the moment. 

Maybe later. 

A soft knock at the door roused her, and she realized that she’d just been standing there for who knows how long, staring numbly at her own reflection. 

She opened the door to find Tommy there, coat off and rubbing at the back of his neck.  

“Hey. You need to come in?”

He shook his head, even as he stepped into the tiny space with her and closed the door. “Just wanted to splash some water on my face.”

Lucy nodded, stepping back to give him room in front of the sink, watching him rub cold handfuls of water onto his face and neck. 

“You missed a spot there,” she said, indicating a strike of blood near his left ear. He turned his head to the side, examining the spot in the mirror before washing the crimson away.

“Thanks.”

“We’re going to have to sort out sleeping arrangements. Especially if we end up being here for a long time. No way all three of us can fit in that tiny bed. And no,” she poked him in the chest when he turned around, “you will not be sleeping on the floor.”

His lips quirked up, hands landing on her waist. “I don’t think everyone will stay here. We’ll have to see. You and I might be able to take one of the other bedrooms if they don’t.”

“I suppose we just have to wait now, don’t we?” she rested both hands on his chest. “Hope everyone gets here on time.”

“Yeah,” his thumbs rubbed circles into her hips. When she looked up, he was staring at her with a funny expression on his face. 

“What?”

His hands tightened against her waist. “C’mere.”

She couldn’t fully contain the giggle that left her when Tommy pulled her flush against him and kissed her. Arms winding around his neck, she pulled him tighter to her, mouth parting against his. With a groan, Tommy suddenly picked her up, spinning them around and propping her up against the small counter top. Lucy gasped, kisses growing deeper as her legs dropped apart so he could slot himself between them. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, suddenly pulling back. “Fuck, do you want to…?”

“Yes,” she replied immediately, as if her hands currently sliding up under his shirt weren’t answer enough. He moaned lowly, kissing her again, fingers fumbling at the fastenings of her trousers. He stepped back just enough to pull them down along with her knickers, and then he was between them again, huge hand sliding up her thigh. 

Lucy sighed, eyes closing blissfully as his fingers teased her entrance while his mouth moved to brush and suck against the most sensitive part of her neck.  

“Tommy,” she said, and he chuckled softly when she reached down and grabbed a handful of his ass, squeezing him through the layers of his trousers, urging him closer until she could feel his growing bulge rub against her. 

In retaliation, he slipped two fingers inside her, crooking them and beginning to work her over with quick pumps while his thumb circled her clit.

With a small whimper, she undid his belt and slipped her hand into his trousers, Tommy’s mouth pressed to hers again, and they both moaned when she wrapped her fingers around his hardening length, stroking him with movements that matched the pace of his fingers inside her.

“Please,” she half begged. She was plenty wet, and they both knew that they couldn’t take too long. Other members of the family might arrive soon. Or Charlie could wake up and go looking for them.   

Tommy cupped the side of her head, fingers dipping gently into her hair while he kissed her. She whined softly when he drew his fingers out of her, but then he was hooking both her thighs over his hips, his cock nudging at her entrance.

“Mm…” she looped both arms around his neck, burying her face in his neck while he eased himself slowly inside of her, large cock stretching her wide as it pushed deeper into her. Tommy growled, hand that had guided himself in resting on her hip, helping to keep her in place as he pushed forward until he bottomed out.  

His lips pressed to the side of her head, nuzzling in silent request until she lifted her face so he could kiss her again, both of them breathing deep and heavy as he slowly started to move in and out of her. 

“Tommy,” she grabbed at his shoulders, pushing her hips forward to meet each of his thrusts. He groaned in reaction to his name on her lips, kissing her harder, pressing himself near flush against her as he did. 

By this time tomorrow, she had no doubt that it would be a madhouse. There would likely be shouting and screaming. Someone might even try to pull a gun or a razor. The house would be filled with people who despised them, united again only because of their shared desire not to be slaughtered. 

But for now, it was just them.

Tommy’s thrusts picked up in pace, his head dropping down into her shoulder, pushing aside the fabric of her shirt to kiss the skin there. One of his hands cupped her breast, squeezing and running a thumb across her clothed nipple. She grabbed at his hair, head falling back as she moaned, teeth clenching to try to keep it somewhat contained. He felt so good, hitting all the spots inside of her that made her see stars with every stroke, knowing exactly where to touch her to have her crying out his name in seconds. 

She clenched tight around him, feeling herself starting to get close. Tommy made a pained sound, cock twitching.

“Fuck, sweetheart, too good…” he was kissing her neck again, tongue sliding across the spot just under her ear that made her shiver and squeeze unintentionally even tighter around him.

He was plowing into her so fast that if the counter hadn’t been bolted down, it likely would have been rattling against the wall. His cock throbbed inside her, sliding right up against her g-spot with each stroke, her walls pulsing around him desperately. Lucy ran her fingertips tenderly through his dark hair, down his strong back until she was gripping one of his biceps, the muscle flexing under her palm.  

“Shit, shit, shit, can’t hold it–” he grunted, and a moment later he was coming hard inside her. His hips continued to thrust, prolonging it until he started to soften and he pulled out. Before she could even begin to lament the loss of him inside her, he was on his knees, face burying in her cunt and eating hungrily. 

She cried out, half in surprise and half in pleasure at the first swipe of his tongue across her folds, hand flying into his hair, steering him by it. Tommy purred in approval, burying his face even deeper into her as he let her guide him, tongue teasing her clit and fingers gathering up his seed where it was starting to seep out of her, fucking it back into her. He moaned at the combined taste of them on his tongue. 

“Fuckkkk…” she’d already been on the edge when he came, and it took but a few pumps of his fingers and well-timed swipes of his tongue to have her tumbling into bliss, coming hard on his mouth. But Tommy didn’t stop, instead lapping up everything she had to offer, fingers still moving inside her, and her eyes widened at the realization that, even with the aftershocks of her orgasm still running through her, he was going to make her come again.

A strangled sound uttered from her lips, head tipping back and muscles tensing with another climax that made her head spin, latching tightly onto both Tommy’s head and the counter for stability as it shot through her. 

Tommy continued to lap lazily at her, cleaning her with long strokes of his tongue, but when his movements started to pick back up again, she winced and pushed gently at his head. 

“No more,” she gasped out, inner thighs still twitching with sensitivity from the two previous climaxes. “Too sensitive.”

He leaned back, wiping his mouth and looking quite pleased with himself as he stood, hands skimming up and down her sides and forehead dropping against hers. Lucy hummed, hugging his shoulders and nuzzling closer. Tommy touched her cheek, then kissed her. 

“Merry Christmas,” he said, in a soft, quiet voice. She let out a breathless laugh.

“Merry Christmas to you too.”

∗ ∗ ∗

The call came in the morning. 

The sun was already rising slowly from behind the horizon. Tommy had gotten a fire going in the hearth in the kitchen downstairs, and was just setting about making some tea for him and Lucy while she ransacked the pantry to see if there was anything good to eat. And then the insistent first shrieks of a phone in the betting shop started up. 

“I’ll get it,” Lucy said, straightening up and heading into the darkened shop before he could argue. 

“Thanks,” he told her, reaching around to pluck up two teacups, setting them down on the table behind him along with some cream and sugar. He could hear Lucy fumbling about, the betting shop still quite dark with all the curtains drawn, and he raised an eyebrow at the sound of a light thunk and Lucy cursing quietly under her breath when she tripped on something. “Alright?” he called to her. 

“Yeah, I’m fine!”

He snorted a little to himself, shaking his head fondly while removing the kettle from the stove to pour the steaming water into the teacups. Asher’s nails clicked against the floor, coming to stand expectantly beside Tommy with his tail wagging. 

“What, boy?” Tommy asked, reaching around to scratch him behind the ear. “You need to go out?”

Asher’s tail thumped against the floor, ears pricking with interest. 

“Alright.”

In the shop, Lucy finally found the phone that was making all the racket and picked it up. 

“Hello?”

“Luce, I’m taking Asher out,” he called to her. She was a little hard to make out in the dark shop, but he was able to see her head bob in an acknowledging nod. “Come on, boy,” he urged, opening the back door and watching the dog bound out and about, sniffing around. 

Outside, Small Heath was still asleep. It would only remain like that for maybe a few minutes more. Once the sun cast a few more bright rays onto the cobblestones, the city would rise. Men and women going to work. Children playing and begging in the street. Horses and dogs roaming both the alleyways and roads.  

Pinching at his brow, Tommy closed his eyes against the city he’d once dreamed of leaving, first as a child, then as a young man. He’d long ago accepted that he probably would never be able to escape Small Heath. But this past year, he’d been able to distance himself from it. At least slightly. 

And yet here he was, back home. Called back to the bowels of hell with nowhere else to turn. 

Leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest against the chill in the morning air, he watched Asher raise his leg and piss on a corner of a wall. Once the dog was done, Tommy whistled, once, and he came immediately trotting over, tongue falling from his mouth and tail wagging. Tommy stroked his head absentmindedly, ushering him back in and shutting the door. 

Sniffing, knuckles brushing along his nose, he returned to the kitchen to find Lucy standing there, face pale and hands fiddling with the simple golden rings she was wearing.

“Luce?”

“Tommy, love…” she took a tentative step forward, reaching out to him and grasping both of his arms. Her grip was tight. As if she were afraid that he would disappear if she didn’t cling to him hard enough. Immediately, his heart dropped, dread filling his chest, like a sinking ship steadily filling with water.

“What’s happened?”

Her wide green eyes looked at him sadly, wetting her lips once. “Tommy, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She took a deep breath, and Tommy braced himself, for a moment worried he might bend over and vomit all over both of their shoes with the way his stomach had tied itself into knots. As if sensing this, her hands squeezed him even tighter. A reminder that he clung to that she was there. 

If the news that she was about to deliver caused him to break, she’d hold him together. 

Her green eyes were sad, but steady. Prepared for exactly that, if need be. 

His hands folded around her forearms, holding onto her in preparation. 

“Tell me.”

Lucy took a deep breath, and began. “Changretta’s men attacked John and Esme’s house this morning. Michael was there. He’s wounded. Esme’s already called an ambulance that is going to take him to the hospital,” she hesitated, stuttering a little around the last part before actually being able to bring herself to say it. Though Tommy already knew what was coming the second after the first sentence of her report had left her lips.

“John is dead.”

∗ ∗ ∗

Pale blue light illuminated the double doors that led into the mortuary. There was something ominous about those doors. As if passing through them would lead you to the place between life and death. The acrid smell of chemicals permeated through the hall, growing stronger with each step they took. The chemicals they used to preserve bodies for burial. 

There would be no need for that for John. He would not be buried, and they would not wait long enough so that his body would have time to sour before they lit his pyre. 

The glass on the doors was frosted, making it hard to see what was going on inside save for a few darkened shapes moving about. It was cold. Like being stuck in a freezer. 

They came there straight from the hospital. They’d beaten the ambulance, and when it arrived they escorted Michael on his stretcher through the halls to a room. Blood was gushing from bullet wounds in his torso, and his teeth had been gritted, trying not to make too much noise or writhe in pain. It was a battle he ultimately lost, back arching and hands balling up into fists while strangled sounds burbled from his throat. 

Polly had been there, remaining at her son’s side save for one moment when she screamed at Tommy that she wanted men who were former soldiers guarding Michael while he recovered. 

If he recovered. 

But Lucy had felt bad for her. Differences between them aside, no mother should have to go through what Polly was experiencing. Especially not when they had already lost one child. 

She looked so unlike how Lucy was used to seeing her; half mad in the eyes and with tears streaming down her face while it crumpled. Terror set in the shape of her mouth. 

Ada had come to look after her, and it was her who told them that Arthur was already at the mortuary, with John. 

What was left of John, anyway. From what Michael had told them through gritted, bloody teeth, it sounded as though he was more bullet holes than person, now. 

“I’ll stay out here,” Lucy said, once they got to the door and Tommy wrapped his hand around the doorknob. He shot a look that almost seemed a little panicked.  

“You’re not coming in?”

With a sad half smile, she touched his shoulder. “You and Arthur should have a moment alone with him.” 

It was no secret she and John hadn’t exactly gotten along. Especially after the whole mess with Angel Changretta had gotten Grace killed. But still, he was Tommy’s brother. And it hurt her to see Tommy look so lost and torn up over his death. 

She squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll be right out here.”

Tommy wiped at his mouth, looking to the doors that led into the gloomy, dimly lit room. “Right.”

She sent him on his way with a quick kiss to the cheek, sighing and leaning against the wall by the doors, lighting a cigarette while she waited. Two men came out, one a policeman and the other a mortician of some kind, neither making direct eye contact as they walked passed. 

She heard the sounds of something being thrown or knocked over inside the mortuary, but other than that, it was quiet. Tilting her head back against the cool tile wall, she looked up at the ceiling. 

Already, one of them was gone. How many more would die before this vendetta was done?

The door at the end of the hall, leading to the outside, blew open, and a small figure with tangled hair and wild eyes charged at her. 

“Where is he!?” Esme demanded. 

“Esme–” Lucy started, moving to block the door, catching her by the shoulders.

“Is he in there!?” she demanded, wrestling against Lucy’s grip. Her dark makeup around her eyes was smeared, face contracting with a look of grief even as she tried to fight against her. 

“Esme, stop, wait–” Lucy didn’t want to hurt her, and that was ultimately what allowed Esme to wrench herself out of her grasp and blow through the doors before Lucy could stop her. 

Lucy hurried after her, into a room containing a row of slabs, a little medical table containing autopsy tools at the end of each one. John was not the only body being housed there; other corpses lay out on the slabs, waiting to be cut open by the coroner or identified by family members.  

John was lying on the second slab from the right side of the room. Still. A cloth, half red with blood soaked up from the wounds in his stomach, was laid out across the bottom half of his body starting from his waist. His shirt was open, revealing his bloody abdomen riddled with holes. His eyes were closed.  

“You cunt!” Esme started to scream, raging and sobbing in equal measure. Tommy turned at the sound of her voice and caught her when she charged at him, pulling her to his chest in a hug. Esme collapsed against him almost instantly with a sob. She remained there for only a moment before she pushed away from him, staring at John’s body with nothing but agony written across her face.

“Leave me with him,” she requested, in a quiet voice. Tommy nodded, gesturing for Arthur to follow him out. As he passed her, he took Lucy’s hand, walking with her to the doors.   

∗ ∗ ∗

The fire crackled and popped in the hearth, steam rising from the bathtub in the center of the room. Charlie was still asleep, snuggled in warmly under the quilt, passed out cold after being up for a good part of the night.  

Lucy toweled off her wet hair. She’d taken a bath first, scrubbing off the dirt, sweat, and any lingering blood from her skin quickly, giving a hasty wash to her hair before jumping out and getting dressed in fresh trousers and a button down shirt, replacing the dirtied, lukewarm bathwater with hot, clean water for Tommy.

He’d come up just as she was finished filling the bath for him, having been busy downstairs coordinating with Charlie Strong, Johnny Dogs, and Finn, who were all already arrived at the house, helping to prepare things for the family meeting that would take place as soon as everyone had gathered.

He had undressed in silence, and she watched him nervously where he was standing naked in front of the window, broad, strong back to her. Good thing that the drapes were still closed. Otherwise the people on the street below would be getting treated to quite the view.  

He had said barely a single word since they’d gotten back from the mortuary.   

She wished that they could take a moment to rest. That she could pull him into bed or some quiet little place and just hold him. Comfort him. Misery seemed to practically radiate off of him, and she found herself feeling helpless as to how to make it better.

“Tommy?” she asked, timidly. He didn’t seem to have heard her, so she approached him slowly, like she would a skittish animal. “Tom?” she touched his shoulder gently, and he finally turned to her, expression vacant.

“Hm?”

“Bath, love?” she asked, angling her head towards the steaming tub. He glanced over like he’d only just remembered it was there, and nodded. 

“Right.” 

She backed off a little, going to pull on her waistcoat while she watched him sink into the warm water. He lit a cigarette for himself, water sloshing as he leaned back in the tub.  

Finished buttoning herself up, she went to kneel behind him by his head, arms wrapping around his bare, damp shoulders, face tucking into his neck, kissing him just beneath the ear. Tommy sighed, hand not occupied with his cigarette settling on her forearms, rubbing absentmindedly. His head tipped back, until it was practically resting on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” though her voice was quiet, it felt loud as a thunderclap in the otherwise quiet of the room. Tommy shook his head, turning to press a small kiss to her arm.   

Soon–too soon–for her liking, a knock sounded at the door, Finn announcing from the other side that everyone was gathered downstairs. 

“Right, just…give us a few minutes, Finn,” she called over her shoulder. Tommy leaned forward, rubbing at his eyes, finishing his cigarette and tossing it into the bathwater before rising. He took the towel that Lucy offered him, drying himself off and moving to the chest of drawers to pull out some clean clothes. She finished dressing, keeping an anxious eye on him as she did. 

“Tommy,” she said softly, stopping him before he could go to the door after he’d pulled on his coat. Cupping both sides of his face, she angled his head to look at her. His eyes were so sad and miserable, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed in the way she recognized was in an attempt not to cry. “Come here,” she ordered, pulling him close, arms wrapping around him, hand on the back of his head guiding his face to rest in the crook of her neck. 

Hesitantly, his arms wrapped around her. And then a little more of his weight rested upon her. Not even to tip her over, but enough for her to worry that if she weren’t holding onto him, he might’ve crumpled to the floor. The shaved sides of his head prickled her palm as she stroked the back of his head. 

“It’s okay,” she murmured, and it was as if he were waiting for her permission before the floodgates opened completely, and a strangled sound left his throat. “It’s okay,” she repeated, holding him tighter.         

It reminded her of when Grace had died, the sudden deja vu so strong it nearly knocked her over. Except that time she had not been able to hold Tommy together. They had been equally a mess, sobbing into one another’s arms in the dark of night. Barely able to keep themselves pulled back from the precipice of going mad with grief. 

At least this time, she could do more for him. 

She let him collapse into her, hands holding onto her so tight, it was a wonder it didn’t hurt. But still she held him, his face pressed into her neck, body shuddering. 

Lucy did not let go. She held him together, keeping the broken pieces cinched tight, not allowing them to unravel. Doing all she could to take away the agony threatening to rip him apart. 

And in her arms, Tommy finally allowed himself to weep. 

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

[sapphirelass]

Deal? - Remus LupinxDaughter!Reader

Hi! :)

Deal? (Part 1) | Oh, darling... (Part 2) | I’ll be by your side (Part 3) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please note:

1: I don’t own any of the gifs used, nor any already established characters, so credit to the authors and original creators - You have done a phenomenal job :)

2: English is not my native language, as I was born and raised in Sweden. I have, however, studied English for almost a decade, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem, I just thought I’d let you know ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You probably already knew this, but still XD

(Y/N) - Your name

(Y/N/N) - Your nickname

(Y/H/L) - Your hair length

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I swear, my next story won’t be about Umbridge XD

Word count: ≈ 2300

Warnings: Umbridge, angst, slight swearing

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I do not wish to criticise the ways of the school, however you have been exposed to some rather irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed - not to mention” the toadlike professor threw a dark glance at a sandy haired student and smirked evilly, “extremely dangerous half breeds”.

The student in question raised her hand angrily, and glared at Professor Umbridge. “Yes?” the teacher smiled sweetly, “miss… Lupin, am I correct?”

“Yes, (Y/N)!” she began, “but that’s besides the point. Look, I know what you’re doing, but Professor Lupin was the best DADA teacher we’ve ever had, and I’d be more than happy to bet everything I own on that being quite a common opinion in this classroom!”

Most of her fellow classmates nodded furiously, and the young girl turned her head towards her professor, who immediately cleared her throat and declared: “Well, I’m afraid simply being a beloved teacher doesn’t really matter, dear.  Werewolves are still extremely dangerous creatures. They are beasts that are undeserving of respect and that should not be allowed to be part of our fine wizard community. They are uncontrollable, and highly likely to injure or possibly kill young witches and wizards, including their own children.”

She flashed a cruel, yet pleased, smirk as (Y/N) furiously stood up, despite Hermione desperately trying to force her down.

“You have NO IDEA what you’re talking about!?” she whispered angrily, her nails digging into her palms as her fists clenched. “You have probably never even met one of these so called ‘half breeds’, have you? No, you were most likely just told some bizarre stories containing more lies and made up facts than truths, and decided to put that worthless ‘knowledge’ - if you can even call it that - to use by spreading rumors and destroying the lives of innocent people.”

Umbridge looked frantic, and was about to speak up, but (Y/N) got there first. “I despise people who look down on others. People who claim to be better than everyone else. People like you. You certainly don’t deserve respect!”

She took a deep breath, and was about to continue when Umbridge’s shrill voice forced her to stay quiet. “That’s quite enough! Detention, miss Lupin. The rest of the week, five fifteen, don’t be late”.

***

A few hours later, (Y/N) made her way back to Umbridge’s office. She knew her friends had wanted to talk to her, but she had done her absolute best to avoid them all afternoon. She simply didn’t feel like explaining to them why she had done what she did. She’d gladly do it again though. Her father was the kindest, wisest, most incredible person she had ever met. He had done everything in his power to give her a good childhood, and no one had the right to insult him. She’d defend him to her last breath if that’s what it would come down to.

She knocked on the door carefully, and pushed it open when she heard a shrill, terrifying voice sing a sweet “come in”.

“Oh, miss Lupin, almost late I see!” she said arrogantly. (Y/N) didn’t have time to answer before her teacher continued. “Sit down.”

***

The detentions went on for another four days before Umbridge told her she didn’t have to come back the following evening, but that she better hold her tongue unless she longed for more. (Y/N) tried to keep that in mind, but still lost her cool a few more times before the end of the semester. However, the Christmas holidays were approaching, and though her red, swollen hand caused her to worry slightly, the idea of seeing her dad and godfather caused her enough joy to tip her mood over to “mainly happy”.

She stepped off the train with her friends, and immediately spotted her father on the platform.

“Dad!!” she shouted, and threw her scratched arms around his constantly scarred torso. “Merlin, I’ve missed you so much”. She buried her head in his shoulder, simply enjoying the feeling of love and safety that he somehow instantly gave off.

“Hello, darling!” he said gently, returning the bone-crushing hug. “I missed you too, believe me…”

(Y/N) wanted to stay like that forever, but eventually let go as she intended to at least try to keep her… problems… hidden. She had never really been able to keep secrets from her dad, and therefore didn’t want to do anything he would consider “out of the ordinary”. If she did, he’d figure it out, or persuade her to tell him everything within minutes, and she knew he’d feel guilty if he realized what she had done for him. She understood perfectly well that the scars on her hand were deep enough to be visible for the rest of her life, and that nothing she would say could convince Remus Lupin that it was not his fault. She was left with one option: He could not, under any circumstances, know. Ever.

They carried her trunk together, and walked a few feet behind the rest of the gang.

“So?”, her father inquired, “How are things? You all doing okay?”

“I suppose”, she answered, “Our new DADA teacher is quite a daft prick though.”

“(Y/N/N)!”, he muttered sternly, casually trying to hide a smile, “Are you sure that’s the right word? Sounds rather rough, doesn’t it?”

The witch shrugged. “No, I think it fits rather nicely. It’s almost as if she’s trying her very best to prevent us from learning anything helpful…”

“That’s… well, that doesn’t sound very promising, does it?”

“No, hence the slightly offensive description… But enough about her, how are you? Had any company while I was gone?”

The older wizard smiled, easily noticing the tone of his daughter’s voice switch into a far more joyful, energetic one - One he knew and loved!

“Oh yes, I’ve spent quite a bit of time at headquarters, and Sirius essentially isn’t allowed anywhere else, so we’ve done a lot of catching up. There is, believe it or not, a lot to talk about after 12 years without seeing each other, so it’s been very nice.” He turned to her, smiled even broader and added a quick “But I’ve still missed you.”, before quickening his pace to catch up with the others.

***

Later that night, (Y/N), Remus, Harry and Sirius were sat in the living room of number 12 Grimmauld Place. Harry and Sirius were playing catch with an old snitch they had found in the house, lazily throwing it back and forth. (Y/N) lay on a sofa, a thick leather bound book tightly clutched in her hands and her head resting on her fathers lap. He was deeply invested in A Guide to Medieval Sorcery, and father and daughter were simply enjoying a nice, calm evening.

All of a sudden, Sirius grabbed the snitch, sat up straight and reached out towards his godson.

“Harry, what’s that on your hand?”

The dark haired boy pulled the sleeves of his jumper further down and mumbled a quiet “nothing”.

“Sure, let me see then”

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry abo…”

Harry didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, as Sirius had risen from his seat and forcefully grabbed his left hand. The slightly faded “I must not tell lies” was still readable, and Harry winced as the look on his godfather’s face went from composed to furious in a matter of seconds.

“Who?”

“Sirius, I…”

“WHO?!”

By this time, both Remus and (Y/N) had put their books down, and were carefully observing the “argument”.

“It’s our new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Umbridge. She’s quite generous when it comes to giving detentions. But mine’s really not that bad now. It barely hurts anymore…”

“That’s totally barbaric!? Moony, we have to…”

“Harry”, Remus interrupted his old friend with a worried look on his face, “What do you mean by ‘quite generous’?”

His heart practically skipped a beat when he felt his daughter shift uncomfortably, however it was Harry who answered.

“‘m quite sure half the Gryffindors have been to her office at least once by now. Even when you’re not really doing anything wrong, she’ll make up a ‘reasonable’ excuse…”

As Harry spoke, (Y/N) had unconsciously been pulling the sleeves of her jumper closer to her fingertips. Remus obviously noticed and made eye contact with Harry, nodding discreetly towards his daughter as if to ask if she too had… well… yeah? Harry closed his eyes, knowing full well how his friend wanted to hide her scars from her dad. It had taken hours of convincing before she had even let him, Ron and Hermione see, and he understood why she didn’t want Lupin to know. He did, however, not like the idea of lying to his former professor, and nodded slightly.

Remus closed his eyes looking simultaneously sad and angered, sat up straight and muttered “(Y/N/N)?”

The young witch took a deep breath and was about to move away from her dad, but he was faster and quickly grabbed her hand. He was very gentle, but she flinched anyways, as her last detention had taken place only a week prior.

“(Y/N/N)”, he repeated, “show me”

“Dad”, she mumbled quietly, “‘tis fine, don’t worry”

“(Y/N)!” His voice sounded far sterner now, “I’m serious. C’mere”

“No, I don’t want…”

“It’s not a question of whether or not you want to, Love”, Sirius explained before his friend could think of a response. “Show your dad.”

“But…”

“(Y/N/N)”, Harry mumbled, “Just… just do it”

“No! I can handle it! Stop making it sound like I’m too weak to do so!”

She felt a tear escape her eye, and stood up to leave the room when Remus waved his wand and locked the door.

Taking yet another deep breath, his daughter turned around, made her way across the room, pulled her left sleeve up and slammed her scarred hand down on the table for the other three to see.

“There! You happy now?!”

A flood of tears were streaming down her face, as her dad, godfather and best friend leant closer and read seven deep-red, awful, heart wrenching words:

***

I must not defend filthy half breeds

***

Remus put his head in his hands and stood up, while Sirius moved closer to his goddaughter and pulled her into a tight hug. Harry joined the embrace and comfortingly rubbed her back.

“why? Why (Y/N/N)?”, her father whispered quietly, his voice barely audible.

“I… I couldn’t…She… sorry…”

The usually calm, collected girl was completely lost for words. Shaking. She had no clue what to say, all she knew was that she had to let her dad know that she was sorry. Sorry for making him feel guilty. Sorry for causing him so much pain. Sorry for not being strong enough.

She walked over to him and noticed heavy, wet tears on his face too. Carefully she wrapped her arms around him, and together they sank down onto the cold floor. They sat there for what felt like hours before Remus finally spoke up, repeating his previous question.

“Why, darling?”

She met his sad gaze and collected her thoughts before quietly whispering “She keeps saying horrible things - pure lies - and she’s enjoying it. She’s throwing insults my way every chance she gets. If I don’t stand up and fight, everyone will think she’s right, and she’s not. Nothing will ever change unless someone works for it, and as soon as that someone backs down, they’ve lost. I’m not having that.”

He looks back at her, his eyes full of pride. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“You mean besides being the most phenomenal dad imaginable?”

He chuckled softly, ruffled her (Y/H/L) hair and held his hand out. (Y/N) slowly placed her hand on her father’s and shifted her gaze towards the floor as he examined the neatly written letters. With a worried expression on his face, he grabbed his wand and moved it back and forth over the scars while quietly muttering a few carefully chosen words. The pain immediately became more endurable, and after putting his wand away the older wizard grabbed his daughter’s shoulders gently, and looked at her in a sad, yet determined way.

“(Y/N/N), as honourable as your intentions are, please don’t do this for me. I’m not going to tell you to back down, but if you’re going to keep it up, don’t let it…” He paused, trying to find the right words. “I can’t stand the thought of you getting injured because of me. I’m not wo…”

“Yes, you are! Stop saying that! I’ll be a bit more selective, if that’s what you want, but don’t you dare tell me not to fight for you. You are my dad, my only family, and there is not a single person on this planet less deserving of disrespect, insults and hate. Dad, you’re amazing, and I’m not letting her fool people into thinking you’re not.”

After a moment of silence, a quiet, “I still don’t like it…”, escaped his lips.

“I know.” She sighed, “That’s why I originally didn’t plan on telling you.”

(Y/N) was fiddling with her fingers, not quite meeting her fathers warm gaze, when she suddenly sat up and said, “Let’s make a deal? I promise to choose my fights more wisely, and in return, you won’t blame yourself for the consequences of said choices? Sounds fair, doesn’t it?”

Her father sighed, but reluctantly answered, “Fine, as long as you promise me one more thing.”

“Hmm?”

“You won’t hide scars or pain from me ever again, no matter whether it’s physical or mental, okay? You’ll let me know, and let me help, always!”

She held her right hand out, her dad shook it and they shared a smile. This time, a true, pure one that actually reached their identically green eyes.

“Deal!”

~ L

Part 2 Oh, darling...

Masterlist

[hangmanssunnies]

Hello, again. Part two was phenomenal, it lived up to part one in every way. Your charcters and writing are such dynamite. I apologize for this once again unhinged reblog. SOme of my thoughts and favorite parts are below.

Ohhh your descriptions!! They are so vivid and well paced.

"You stare at him for a long, silent moment. Trying your best not to focus on the water currently soaking the carpet beneath his bare feet or the roll of droplets down his prominently toned abdominals. He seems equally frozen near the bathroom door."

Jake is sooooo hot!!! I want to lick his abs. No, we are staying focused on the mission, not one's wingman... He is so so tempting, though 🥵

Actually, I wrote that ^ but then you wrote jake wearing a henley. WHICH IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST DESIRES IN LIFE. THANK YOU!!!! He would look so good in a henley. I am so glad that you think so, too <3333333 Also, somehow I want him more after imagining him in a henley than in the towel. There is something wrong with me.

okay, but secretly maybe I do think that matching Christmas pajamas are some of the cutest things ever. If you continue this fic someday (absolutely no pressure), I might die if you sneak a matching pj moment in. <33333

"He seems conflicted, challenged by the situation in a way he can’t quite gain control of as he twists the watch on his wrist over and over again."

ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS LINE AND THIS LITTLE MOMENT. I know I talked about it in my part one reblog. But I really love the mannerisms you write for Jake.

I also have a comfortable necklace. 🥺 Pita is so valid. 💞💞💞

YOUR DETAILS!!!!! The way you actually pinpointed the weather and how Texas, that area specifically, is in winter!!!! Absolutely amazing. Hehehe Miss Patty totally giving away that Jake is already soooooo head over heels. I did not miss the mention on how he talks about Pita.

Ahhh the eggs. I loved that we got this little echo of part one where we saw that Pita knows Jake. Well, he knows her too!! and its subtle but you pulled it off beautifully. I love these little moments you build in that make connections like that.

Oh god... Everything with josh. I was holding my breath and anxious that whole section. You wrote the tension so palpable in the air between the characters.

Jake is such a gentleman letting her wash her face first and decompress for both of them. I love him. I love them!! Her asking him to play it out, i love that they do that. I really love how they talk to each other.

This part was so good. I loved seeing Pita and Jake go through this ordeal together. Also, the interesting details you put into everything, especially your character, is absolutely fantastic. Thank you so much for writing this and then sharing it for us to read. 💞💞

If you find muse and ever come back to this project. I am humbly request to be tagged if you do tag lists. I have adored your Jake and this story. Thank you again.

Home for the Holidays | Part 2

✦ Summary: Never let it be said that you weren’t willing to do just about anything for your squadron. As you find yourself roped into an elaborate ruse to help fool Hangman’s mother for Christmas all seems to be going according to plan. But when that plan spirals out of control, the line between real and pretend begins to blur.

✦ Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Female Reader

✦ Warnings: Anxiety, fake dating, hurt/comfort, Jake’s family being fake and generally awful towards him, mentions of divorce, minor angst.

✦ Word Count: 9.6k

✦ Author’s Note: Did I envision People Magazine’s 2022 Sexiest Man Alive in the role of Jake’s older brother? Perhaps. Also, to the lovely @top-hhun​​ and @andrewrussgarfield​​, thank you for your constant Glen Powell spams - never stop <3

✦ Tags: @callsignbarb​

[Master List]

The moment you blearily pull yourself up from the pleasant hum of intermittent sleep, it takes you far longer than you’d like to admit to realize that you are no longer aboard the carrier. That the rattling of pipes and the pelting sound of rain is nothing more than your companion starting the shower in the adjacent room. 

Your eyes blink against the darkness, face snuggled into the too-soft pillow. Only the faintest ray of early morning light is visible through the black-out curtains.

It’s late, about fifteen minutes past your usual wake-up time. With the glowing green digital alarm clock informing you that it’s currently 8:16 am - make that over two hours local time past your usual wake-up.

But you and Seresin clearly were well-oiled military machines who had long passed the use of actual alarms to arise. It also meant that the man’s shower would be short and to the point. So you pull yourself free from the tangle of sheets - stretching your arms out wide with a satisfying crack between your shoulder blades. You yank the sheets back in place, stifling a yawn as you brush the wrinkles out of the pillowcase. 

Sleeping in a real bed, with a mattress and sheets, would be considered a luxury by most. For you, however, sleep had been a distant dream last night. Between the usual lullaby of the constant thrum of the flight deck and the ship itself, you were unaccustomed to the stock silence of a hotel room. 

You distantly wondered if your roommate had fared any better.

Keep reading

[crescentfool]

the fics i’ve read in august 2021

happy september everyone! can’t believe we’re entering the last third of the year. as per usual, i’m compiling my favorite fics to kickstart the month! if you’d like to see last month’s fic recommendation list, you can find that here.

all fics listed here are from persona 3 or persona 5. most of them are ryomina / minaryo fics, but there’s also a selection of shuake / akeshu fics! please mind the tags/warnings/ratings when viewing the fics; read what you’re most comfortable with! with this in mind, the full list is located under the cut.

all fics are formatted as TITLE by author | rating | appx. word count | brief description of fic (including main ship/character, tropes/AU, and whether the fic is completed, ongoing, or abandoned)

persona 5 fics

dens sapientiae by xylosis | T | 1.6k | shuake oneshot where akechi gets his wisdom teeth removed. an absolutely funny read especially for people who like to see akechi being delirious 😂

Like An Ocean’s Pearl by Coffee_Bean_Claude | T | 11k | ongoing shuake fic featuring mer!goro and a selectively mute trans persona 5 protagonist. features some cool dynamics between all of the PT- and a very enjoyable take on mer!goro.

CYOA: Goro Akechi and his very hungry roomba by bloominginthenight | T | 4.6k | a completed shuakeshu choose your own adventure crackfic, centering around akechi and his roomba. i highly suggest reading all of the routes because this is REALLY fucking hilarious.

how joker and crow survived in the ever-evolving world shaped but not entirely defined by the coronavirus pandemic in 2020 and 2021 by shantealeaves | T | 12.7k | a oneshot centering around joker and crow in the pandemic and how they cope with everything. haircuts are a central motif in the work and i love the characterization. reading the previous work is not required, but i recommend that one as well!

persona 3 fics

Eurydice’s Vow by crescentmoontea | T | 13.6k | a very phenomenal ryomina fic that takes place within the third semester of p5r. the characterization of this fic is amazing; it’s very reminiscent of their dynamic in the movies! this fic is just three chapters of completed bliss that will absolutely make you cry. (also features background akeshu, if you squint)

Hours at the End of the World by TwilightKnight17 | G | 5.4k | a completed multichapter ryomina fic that explores a canon-divergence AU that changes the outcome of January 31st. this work is the first in the series known as the Hours ‘Verse, which also includes Persona 4 and 5 (which I’d also recommend checking out if it interests you!).

69912 by neonsign | G | 2.1k | ryomina oneshot that explores their first kiss! i really enjoyed the characterization on this- it’s short and sweet.

13191 by neonsign | G | 959 | a very short ryomina oneshot that focuses on the two from the perspective of an established relationship. it’s very bittersweet but it’s a cute and cohesive scenario nevertheless!

held in the arms of your words by superheroics/synthetica | T | 4.1k | angsty ryomina oneshot that focuses on their relationship on christmas eve. it depicts ryoji’s POV from a second person, and how he uses every language of the earth. a very clever and poetic fic that will make you cry your insides out.

telling eyes by Katseester | G | 2.1k | ryomina oneshot that depicts their relationship at various stages within the canonverse timeline. it’s such a meaningful rendition of their relationship and i enjoy the characterization and internal monologue/narration SO much.

This Boy’s in Love by ang3lsh1 | G | 1.9k | AU where minato is a DJ and ryoji pulls some strings for minato’s success. it’s a brief oneshot- but it’s a fluffy and entertaining one at that!

Take Care by teamchaosprez | G | 1k | very short and sweet ryomina oneshot where ryoji visits minato and takes care of him. i would love to see more of this scenario but it’s super cute and fluffy nevertheless!

just like heaven by megidolaon | T | 2.9k | a bittersweet ryomina oneshot that showcases the mutual understanding/same wavelengths of their relationship. the fic has some all-around somber/quiet vibes and it’s super lovely.

Under the Moon and the Stars by BkZa555 | M | 13.2k | a ryomina oneshot with BANGING characterization. it’s a beautiful rendition of these two getting together BEFORE december and the emotions feel super tangible. the fic does feature sexual content, but the fic has dividers so if that’s not your thing, you could skip it. either way, the characterization is great!

New Year’s Eve by KiraLioden | T | 6.1k | a completed ryomina multichapter fic that focuses on the emotions that ryoji, minato, and hamuko experience on 12/31 through alternating perspectives. i really like all the interpretations here, as well as minato and hamuko being twins!

and that’s all the fics i have to recommend for now! i hope to see you all next month for another batch of lovely fics. in the meantime, i hope anyone who reads these fics enjoys them as much as i did! if you enjoyed them, please be sure to leave the authors a nice comment on ao3. and if you’d like to recommend fics to me, please feel free to drop some in my askbox! i’d be happy to hear about them 💗

[fanfic-corner]

Cockles

I found out this morning that apparently Misha knows that Cockles exists. So... that’s fun. I’ve never been sure where I stand on RPF, so I thought I may as well read some and decide what I think after. Anyway, here’s what I read!

Revenge of the Subtext by MittenWraith on AO3. (80,064 words).

Tags: Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Canon Divergence after 10.20, French Mistake style AU, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Humor, Smut, Crack, Light Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Supernatural Convention, Human Castiel, Switch Dean, Switch Castiel, First Kiss, First Time, Enthusiastic Content, Love Confessions.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Descrition:  Things are finally settling back down to normal since Cas gave up his grace to cure Dean of the Mark. Well, as normal as their lives are allowed to get. Sam relentlessly finds new cases to work, one right after the other; but Dean thinks they need a break to let Cas have some purely human fun, for once. It’s true they had a difficult time readjusting to humanity at first, but Dean thinks Cas deserves to do more than ride around in the back seat and follow them on monster hunts. Then again, Dean’s a little bit scared to ask exactly what Cas would want, just in case it doesn’t include spending quite so much time with him. And with Sam (of course).

Sam’s been tracking a series of odd occurrences in Laramie, Wyoming for the last few weeks that looks just enough like a case to finally convince Dean they should go check it out. Whether they like it or not, the goddess responsible for the weirdness in Laramie takes an immediate interest in the three less-than-perfectly-happy hunters who’ve stumbled into her town.

Notes: Absolutely adorable, such a good case and beautifully written. There are some other works in the same series which are also absolutely fabulous!

He Who Laughs Last (The Joke Is on Us) by anoradh on AO3. (4,248 words).

Tags: RPF, Fluff, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Silly.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: For the prompt: Jensen and Misha think they’re pulling the mother of all pranks on Jared by pretending to be a couple, but they’re in way over their heads.

Notes: This was cute and I love the sheer panic they caused in Jared - I couldn’t stop laughing.

Through the Screen by ArchOfImagine on AO3. (28,722 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, Season 9 Divergence.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: "What would you do if you woke up in the Supernatural world?" A fan asked Misha. Little did the actor know, but a few weeks later he would actually be finding out the real answer to that question. Because when Metatron tosses Castiel out of Heaven at the beginning of season 9 -- he tosses him right into Misha's universe. Now Misha is stuck in the Supernatural world, looking at his husband's face but a different man.

Notes: This was funny and cute and just generally adorable!

Is It Really A Mistake? by BriMaco518 on AO3. (6,819 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe - The French Mistake, s6e15 The French Mistake, Angst, Coda, Fluff, Happy Ending.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Dean and Sam Winchester find themselves in a world where the supernatural does not exist. Everyone calls them Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki respectively. Their efforts to protect the key that Balthazar gave them from Virgil, one of Raphael's angels, should be Dean's focus. Yet the elder Winchester finds himself distracted by the actor that plays Castiel, Misha Collins. Who also turns out to be the husband of Jensen Ackles.

Notes: Once again hit by not reading the tags, but if you read the sequel then that gets sorted out. Also, this is adorable and I actually saw the gifset it was based on afterwards, which confused me for a full minute.

Mistakes Are Better When They’re French by maraudersgirl47 on AO3. (21,791 words).

Tags: Episode: s06e15 The French Mistake, Fluff, Angst.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Notes: This was funny and touching and I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the ending!

Description: Number One: Dean would definitely never appear on a soap opera.

Number Two: Dean Winchester did not wear makeup.

And Number Three: He was not gay!

God, Cas, whoever was listening - Please get them the hell out of here.

Fever by lysanatt on AO3. (13,624 words).

Tags: Romance, RPF, Post S8, No Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, First Time.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: It's Christmas and the otherwise so mild Vancouver is hit by a rare blizzard. Misha is hit by the flu and Jensen is hit by the urge to take care of Misha. Of course there are unexpected consequences to it all.

Notes: This was so sweet -  I love a good hurt/comfort and the way they wrote Misha was amazing!

Twisted French Mistake by literaryoblivion on AO3. (3,170 words).

Tags: Episode: s6e15 The French Mistake, Parallel Universes, Alternate Universe, First Kiss, Kissing, Mistaken Identity.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: If Sam and Dean get sent to the Supernatural set, where do Jensen and Jared end up? That's right, the world of Sam and Dean. But they're safe, and Castiel checks in on them and ends up learning more about himself and Dean from Jensen.

Notes: This was a really good idea - I remember watching the episode and wondering where Jensen and Jared were!

The Bubble by thunderpuffin429 on AO3. (21,035 words).

Tags: First Time, Fluff and Smut, Feelings, Character Bleed, Kissing.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Cas has to choose between Heaven and the Winchesters. Again. For the final time.

Notes: The Destiel part of this was phenomenal but the Cockles part was mostly smut, which is fine but made me a bit uncomfy just because I’m ace and I’m not a massive fan of reading it. So, it wasn’t my favourite, but that’s entirely on me for not reading the tags properly.

Do You Know What You Think You Know by ljunattainable on AO3. (5,761 words).

Tags: Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Romance.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Everyone knows Jensen and Misha are together. Nobody even thinks about it. They just know. Except Jensen and Misha. They don’t know. A few things happen in the space of a few weeks that leave everyone at least knowing the same thing.

Notes: This was sweet and I loved how everyone assumed they were dating and they still didn’t know.

Method Acting (Or ‘In Which Misha Is Not, In Fact, Kidding Jensen’) by HigherMagic on AO3. (5,567 words).

Tags: Character Bleed.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: There's a little surprise in the script for the latest episode, Misha is unruffled, and Jensen is not amused, but he's determined to put on the best damn performance he can, 'cause it's the last season and, hey, he owes it to Dean.

Notes: This was pretty good but it did get me thinking... can you IMAGINE if we got a Destiel sex scene? Tumblr would have imploded. There would be a national holiday. 

Second Take by anonymous on AO3. (6,237 words).

Tags: Polyamory, First Kiss, Psychology, Character Bleed, Internal Monologue, Internal Conflict, Friendship/Love.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Wherein Destiel becomes canon, and Jensen and Misha face the consequences of their first kiss.

Notes: This was fairly sweet, and Jensen’s internal monologue was written really well.

Still undecided, I think, but I hope you enjoyed! Some of the fics came off better than others, but some just seemed a little bit... not right? I don’t know how to explain it. Anyway, please remember that Cockles stuff should stay inside the fandom. I hope you find some fics you like!

[ponds-of-ink]

Too shy to send this off anon but: You appreciate Scraptrap in a way that makes *me* appreciate Scraptrap. Your level of dedication to taking this character and making him into something phenomenal in *multiple different ways* is incredible. Also what's this about a Don Bluth Scraptrap?

Aw, thanks, Anon! Tbh, I just thought he was okay when I first found out about him. Just a wonky Afton form that was meh, y’know?

But, after watching a redesign video and actually working with him myself in both writing and art, I grew to love the funky lil’ guy. He just screams potential to me, character-wise.

Now, about Don Bluth Scraptrap in particular. I actually have a post on him here, but I’ll give a modified TL;DR description. This guy was inspired by FNAF: The Dark Ride by @dick-dastardly, a dash of Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas, and my own test runs with the Don Bluth art style.

I think, unlike Dastardly’s Baron Spring-Bonnie/Baron Von Bon, Scraps here is actually a goon to some true big bad. Also, Scraps is stitched up from the remains of whatever Springbonnie or Springtrap is in this idea. Haven’t really done much with him yet, which is a shame. Maybe I’ll do a Don Bluth Scrap Baby as well? Hmm…

I might need to give this whole idea a nickname if I make more stuff for it.

[achaoticeternal]

Asset Protection

Ransom Drysdale x Reader request from capshoney: Ransom with 31 and 39?

Summary: Ransom is oddly kind to you, but you always brush it off because of your closeness with his mother. Word Count: 2.4k

31) “If we’re going to keep ending up in life-or-death situations, trust that I will save you every single time.” 39) “Wait, are you saying you want to move in with me?”

“(Y/N),” You heard your name spoken with calmness, yet with authority from the black office phone that sat to the right of your Mac Desk Top. Everything was finely put in place, perfectly organized so that you could complete any task at a moment’s notice.

Currently, your eyes were fixated on the screen of the desktop, checking over the calendar for Mrs. Drysdale and various appointments she or her husband previously set so that you could coordinate a time for her to meet with a fairly new client. Your job was supposed to be centered around organizing Mrs.Drysdale’s emails, clients, and setting her calendar. Yet, your job description originally didn’t include practically becoming her personal assistant in both her workplace and life.

“(Y/N),” Mrs. Drysdale’s voice called again with just a touch of impatience.

Quickly, you picked up the phone and opened her full calendar for the month, along with opening both her husbands’ and sons’ schedules in minimized tabs.

“What can I do for you, Mrs. Linda?”

“Father’s will reading shall be taking place on Saturday at 3 pm,” She promptly stopped and you quickly began typing away into Mr. and Mrs. Drysdale’s calendar.

“Aare there any arrangements you would like particularly made? Dry-cleaning? Have to cook set up a lunch or appetizers?”

“I need two items. First of all, have my pink suit pressed and dry-cleaned please,” You quickly scribbled down her request onto a post-it note, “and secondly, if you could stop by son’s little bachelor pad and ask if he plans to attend that would be phenomenal. And make sure his maid is still coming and that he hasn’t managed to scare her off yet. You can do that after your lunch break.”

“Yes ma’am, anything else?”

“Actually, if you could go now, you could pick up some lunch for him. I doubt he’s had anything besides a protein shake and who knows what else. Charge it to the VISA”

“Of course, ma’am. Have a wonderful afternoon.”

“Thank you, sweetie.”

After five years, 2 years as an intern and 3 as an actual employee, you had come to know and be known by Mrs. Drysdale’s full family. They were an interesting mix of hard workers with rich kid mentalities. Well, most of them. And they were ever a loud crowd. But quite recently, her father had died from a supposed suicide. Of course, that truly wasn’t any of your own business, you just coordinated the funeral date, the invitations, the catering, and anything which the family didn’t want to settle themselves. At the end of it all, you weren’t permitted to attend the funeral which in all honesty made a fair amount of sense.

You didn’t know Harlan at all personally, but he was always kind to you and asked his daughter and her family to treat you with kindness. But two factors didn’t make sense about the funeral. Why they didn’t allow Harlan’s sweet nurse, Marta, to attend… and why Ransom Drysdale didn’t make an appearance at his beloved grandfather’s funeral?

                                                           -  -  -

The little doorbell camera rang as you balanced a paper sack and drink tray in one arm, and your purse and phone in the other. You waved at the camera, knowing he got humor out of watching people wait for him through his recently upgraded phone.

“Afternoon, Ransom. You know I would usually let myself in with the key above the door frame, but as you’ll notice,” you attempted to show off full your hands were, ”My hands are quite full. If you could kindly-”

The large wood door swung open into Ransom’s modern house before you could finish your sentence. And there stood Ransom in a pair of black jeans, a creme shirt, and a burgundy cardigan which you gave him for Christmas two years ago. If he had a scarf and boots on, you would’ve suspected that he just returned home from an outing.

“-open the door,” you stepped inside and made your way promptly to the kitchen, “Glad to see that you're fully awake and you didn’t leave any trash for me to pick up. How sweet. That makes what? Three months?”

“Well, it’s been four months since I brought home a pretty little thing for any bar or club,” Ransom took a seat on a stool and watched you unload your items onto the kitchen island. From the brown paper sack, you pulled two clear to-go containers; one containing Ransom’s favorite turkey and rye sandwich and a side of fruit salad, and in the other, your preferred lunch meal of choice. He threw you his signature smirk as you handed him his container, his hand soft grazing yours, “Are you proud of me, (Y/N)?”

Both his words and his actions caused your cheeks to fluster a bit. You understood how unprofessional your encounters with Mrs. Drysdale’s son were, but either she made it a point to notice or she simply didn’t care. Linda had only taken comfort in you a few times, but her frequent concern was Ransom and his future.

“Of course I am,” You smiled at him kindly, before returning back to business reaching into the bag again to obtain napkins and cutlery, “Now, your mother will pester me about this if I don’t get an answer to her in the next twenty-four hours. Do you...”

Ransom’s gaze shifted down to the pile on the counter where he noticed a napkin with black spots.

“...Do you plan to attend the reading of the will? I mean, after his birthday and not attending the funeral, I’m not sure what your p-”

“Yeah, I’ll be there, but (Y/N),” sipping your drink, you turned around to see what had captivated him, “who wrong this note?”

On the napkin was inscribed:

Does sleeping with him get you extra money from his mommy?        X. 

“Wh-what? I need a drink, that doesn’t even make sense. I haven’t even spent the night here, well except for when your mother left me here for four hours the night before our business trip but I’ve never even entered your room with you in there. This is just some small... little...” but the world seemed to fade quickly.

                                                          -  -  -

“Does she have any family?”

“Her mother and sister live in Vermont, but no one in the state. We treat her like part of our family”

The two female voices continued their conversation as you opened your eyes but quickly covered them to adjust yourself to the light. You saw Ransom sitting in one of the chairs while Linda answered any medical or personal questions. 

“Where are we? Ransom- what happened?”

“Well, what’s the last thing you remember?”Ransom asked.

Telling you how proud I am of you.

“Asking about your schedule for the weekend?” From there on, things were blurry, but shapes and colors would stand. Things you might remember later.

“From your report, it seems you were drugged. Nothing heavy, but quite fast-acting. At least, you weren’t behind the wheel when this happened,” The nurse responded, “You’re free to leave, thanks to Mrs. Drysdale here.”

Linda gave the nurse the same smile she gives to every client after a sale, “Thank you, now let’s get to my car. Hugh, your father is probably waiting at the house with dinner. And you better behave, because Ms. (Y/L/N) will be our guest tonight”

                                                         -  -  -

The dinner table inside the Thrombey House was on the quiet side, even though the full family was in attendance. It wasn’t your first time attending such an event, but it wasn’t one you made frequent. The youth spent most of the meal on their phones while the adults chattered about various topics, and even asked you a few questions about future aspirations or opinions on the current state of something you probably couldn’t care less about tonight. Everyone tried to engage themselves in something, except for Ransom who picked at his food and made a few crass comments under his breath. You took the slight lull to speak up.

“Thank you for allowing me to stay for the evening. My car is stranded at Ransom’s and getting an Uber this late in the evening is-”

“(Y/N), you’re my go-to girl, my secretary, practically my personal assistant. I couldn’t allow for anything bad to happen to you. You’re far too... valuable to be lost,” Linda never spoke like this, unless she needs to boast about her own self-made business and image.

“In fact,” it was now Richard’s turn to begin boasting about how you were so helpful to the entire Drysdale family and coordinating the funeral and this and that and you just couldn’t comprehend why such a family always had to one-up each other. It simply had to be exhausting.

Fran then entered into the dining area and began clearing plates. You offered to assist her, but she mustered up a smile that said she could handle it by herself. When she came around to take your plate, a neatly folded piece of paper sat right underneath it. Quickly, you snatched it from its’ position, hoping to one saw the paper or your sly movements. 

You thought you could get away with it until you felt a foot connect with your shin. Blue eyes met your own and you knew Ransom saw everything. He just seemed to always pay close attention to you, maybe a sign of concern or endearment. And you could tell exactly what his eyes were saying.

“Well, thank you, all of you with providing me dinner and a room for the night,” You quietly slid your chair back and stood.

“Of course, dear. Hugh,” Ransom peered to his mother as if surprised by her attention, “Please show, (Y/N), our guest room before you make your own exit for the evening.”

Ransom lead you easily up the oak staircase to the second floor where he pushed you inside what seemed to be a supply closet. A large supply closet mainly filled with old board games but still a simple closet.

“What was that paper you were so quick to hide?”

You tugged it out of your pocket and unfolded it, smoothing the creases so you could read the context better.

Asset protection is important for any and every company.                       X.

“This one doesn’t even make sense! How do you go from a direct attack on me to this- this load of shit!”

“Well, in my eyes a person who won’t make a better effort to threaten you or do it in a more accurate way is a piece of shit,” Ransom’s eyes skimmed over the paper, “But this time, it’s remarkably true. My parents admire your hard work for them, so you are an asset in a way.”

You felt fear knot up in your stomach, you couldn’t understand what someone could have against you. In every aspect, you were an honorable citizen who made a fair living. It just didn’t add up, “Where’s the guest room? I need to sleep.”

“Right, but I’m going to show you a different way into the guest room,” He grabbed your hand before leading you across the hall into another bedroom. The pair of you crept into the closet and Ransom kicked a panel in the wall. A door quickly slid open and the pair of you made your way up a little staircase, “Harlon just loved his hiding places”

“Ransom. If I’m in potential danger? What do I do? I don’t have to first clue in-

“Well, first of all, don’t be so damn trusting. It makes you an easier target. Second of all, find somewhere or someone you can stay with that you could seek comfort and safety in, at least until you feel safe.”

Both of you came to a stop as you made it to a small door. But a little idea popped into your head, “Well, could I stay in that big house of yours? I don’t have any family here and I refuse to go bankrupt in a motel room because of a potential stalker. I know it might be strange given our past flirtations, but I-”

“Wait, are you saying you want to move in with me?”

“Not really, move in. That would mean something completely different and- and completely out of the question because of my position in your moth-”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You can stay with me. It’ll be nice to have a welcomed guest around,” Ransom pushed open the door and emerged into the guest which felt like a victorian guest suite set up, “and that’s why we came in through the back”

In the front of the door was tripwire for a possible trap unseen, but just the thought stirred you in unpleasant ways. Ransom searched the room before finding three darts ready to fire at any notice, “I’m really looking like a good guy, stopping any threats before they happen.”

“Yeah, it’s almost out of character,” You grabbed the glass of water by the nightstand.

Quickly, Ransom snatched the water from your hand, leaving you shaking, “Niether of us brought a glass up with us and I’m not going to have a repeated visit to the hospital to be asked if I gave you a date rape drug.”

He entered the attached bathroom and poured its’ contents in the sink while you sat yourself upon the bed. Thinking of the events from today. Shakily, you looked up to Ransom, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I haven’t done anything. I-”

“Maybe someone is trying to get your attention,” He sat beside you and took your left hand into his right, using his thumb to caress the gentle skin, “And you still have me, though this is too far outside my comfort zone with any woman. If we’re going to keep ending up in life-or-death situations, trust that I will save you every single time.”

“Thank you, Ransom. For offering your assistance. For making sure I don’t get myself hurt. For not being a huge dick to me also,” you laughed.

“Well, what’s my mother’s is mine, and I happen to like her little personal assist,” before he stood from the bed, he gave your knuckles a strangely gentle kiss, “good night, (Y/N). I’ll see you at Breakfast”

Everything blurred, including Ransom’s exit, as you feel into a soft slumber.

:———————————————————————:

let me know if you think this deserves a part 2 or anything!