#the characters don't even need to know each other
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OKAY OKAY OKAY YES?!?!? Like the parallels between them all?!
And it also works the other way too?! Like if it wasn't "flipped" and they truly are upside right on their side, just parallel to the real side?
Like Max is Nancy's place and hello? Yes? Are they not the same person in terms of not fitting the mold being thrust on her, grieving and haunted by a death, and so so so capable of so much and so strong? And also that whole scene even at the end of s4 with Nancy sawing the gun? And the don't miss from Max and Nancy's I won't miss?!
Then that would be Erica where Eddie is and again? Hello?! Lady Applejack & Eddie the Banished?! Thrust into this group. The Dnd. The speak their mind no matter what. The sarcasm. THE LITERALLY BEING HUNTED BY THE JOCKS???? Erica standing up for Eddie and Hellfire at the town meeting? ERICA FIXING LUCAS' WEAPON AND LAYING OUT THE FACTS WHILE EDDIE MAKES SURE DUSTIN ALSO HEARS THE FACTS?!
OKAY. NOW HEAR ME OUT ABOUT THE LUCAS/ROBIN & DUSTIN/STEVE POSITIONS
Not only. Do we have the whole Lucas with Max and Dustin liking her in S2 too and the whole sort of Robin befriending Nancy Steve weird love triangle that isn't a love triangle on Robin's end but Nancy doesn't know that BUT
I truly think Robin and Lucas have more in common than I ever realized. Especially if you think about Lucas trying to hide his nerdy/Dnd side in S4. He just wants to get through high school and fit in and be cool and I mean Robin is literally hiding this huge part of herself and sort of doing the same? Granted she's not a jock and doesnt seem to hide her nerdy side, but I do think the parallels are there. And I think they're both under utilized and smarter than the group gives them credit for (let's just remember that Lucas is the one who does confirm and find out El was lying in S1 and that the Lab is the reason the compass is malfunctioning - see Robin decoding the secret message S3 - in S2 I feel like I could go on about how he stands in front of Max with a weapon - in line with the adults protecting their kid behind them - which just makes me think about Robin staying back with Steve to save two kids she barely knows - and S3 he's the reason they have the fireworks to help fight/distract which makes me think of Robin and the molotov cocktails (see also Lucas and his wrist rocket) ). BUT ALSO SEASON 4 AND THE STATE OF THEIR LOVE LIVES SEEMING VASTLY UNIMPORTANT IN THE STATE OF THE WORLD BUT STILL -
I feel like I need a whole other post about Steve and Dustin to really get into it but 😅 I think when we look at them in the show, we are supposed to think they're completely opposite of each other's characters. Dustin one of the smartest, Steve one of the dumbest. Dustin a nerd. Steve a jock. But in reality, they have a lot of the same characteristics and even mannerisms? Idk. I think they represent the parts of each other that they want to be. And they're both a voice of reason for their groups, even if it's not always listened to immediately or even left out of the group for a bit (see Max going to Dustin after not getting Lucas or Nancy and the kids always looking for El or Nancy and ending up with Steve), but even so they're not afraid to put their lives on the line for the rest of the party - no hesitation when it actually comes down to protecting.
Anyways my brain hurts and I need to go to bed but I also need to rewatch the entire show and analyze this further??????
STRANGER THINGS | 4.07 “The Massacre at Hawkins Lab”
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Can I request a headcanon of whb king (plus any other characters you want) reacting to gn mc avoiding them for as long as she can because mc got dared to by some random demon
WHB kings' reaction to MC avoiding them because of a dare
⟡ Masterlist ⟡
A/N: Hi! This was so fun to write since each king had a completelly different reaction ^^ Sorry for the long wait though t-t
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Oh, Satan doesn't like this at all
The moment he notices your suspiciously long absence, he's on the prowl
Where are you and why tf are you avoiding him?
He'll even send out Amy and his group to look for you and bring you to him
Hopefully he'll during his search find out about the dare
At least hopefully for you
Poor demon who dared you will find himself homeless after Satan in his demon form destroys his place
Once that's dealt with, the next time you go outisde, you come face to face with Satan, leaning back against his bike
"Talked to that mf. The dare's called off :)"
༺☆༻
Mammon notices that you haven't been around him much, but he just chalks it up to you being busy
He's okay with it, knowing that eventually you'll come back to him anyway
Besides, if you needed something, you'd surely call him
After finding out that it's a dare, he's also curious how long you'll be able to keep away from him
If he ever gets worried about you, he'll just send one of his nobles to check up on you
Once you're back to him, he's taking you out for a dinner to congratulate you on how long you lasted
༺☆༻
Leviathan knew from the beginning thanks to Foras
You don't even get to leave the Hades castle so it's easier for you to avoid him when you get a message from the devil who dared you that the dare is off
It doesn't take a genius to realise that the poor demon had been visited by His Majesty himself and forced to end your dare early
Most likely, if you video-called with him, he'll be gasping for air, hung by a noose
The next time you see Leviathan, he acts like nothing happened, but you can feel his piercing stare when you're not looking at him
He's most likely not sure how to punish you yet...
But once he does...
Oh boy, now comes the moment to avoid him for the sole sake of your survival
༺☆༻
Funny :)
You think you can avoid Beel? :)
I mean, technically you could do that by hanging around in the Abyssos castle, but even then you can't exactly avoid Beel
If Beel wants to see you, he'll come and see you
Doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing
Even if it means that he'll have to sneak through his own castle to escape Bael's wrath
And even more so, if he finds out about the dare...
Oops, he just reminded he meant to take you to this place and booked it in advance and can't cancel it
Sorry, guess you'll have to spend the whole month with him :)
I guess the rule with Beel is that the more you want him, the less he'll be around
(True story with my pulls for his cards tbh T-T)
༺☆༻
Belphie would probably realise that it's been a while since you were there when he woke up, but eh...
Maybe you're just busy doing your work
No sweat
That is until Beleth accidentally slips up about the dare
Oh?
Now that is something different
Prepare to start dreaming about him every night
That'll eventually make you come back...
And if not, don't worry...
Belphie's ability can bring you back anytime, so enjoy your time away from him before he decides this little game is over
༺☆༻
Keeping away from Asmo is honestly your day-to-day task, so I don't think there's much difference
That is until you realize that it's time for another annual king meeting
The real challenge becomes coming up with a good reason to excuse yourself from it
And all the nobles are helping you at this point
Sure, you could just not go, but Asmo might then leave the meeting to come and see you since he was so excited to meet you after so long
In the end Leviathan coems to save the day and hides you inside his coffin for as long as the need be
Phew
You're safe for another year
༺☆༻
To Lucifer, not seeing you for a long time is a good thing
It just means you're healthy and safe
But he does eventually start to miss you
And then Gamigin talks a bit too much and mentions that you've been avoiding Paradise Lost because of a dare
So whenever you need medical assistance one of the nobles has to do a house call
...
A house call?
That sounds unsanitary
Who even knows what germs and bacteria you might catch
Lucifer better make his way over to you for a surprise visit to make sure you're doing well
And no apples can save you from this doctor
#what in hell is bad#what in “hell” is bad?#whb satan#whb mammon#whb leviathan#whb beelzebub#whb belphegor#whb asmodeus#whb lucifer
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HAPPY MISTAKE — Logan Howlett
Summary: Not ever, through all the years of your life, you found someone like Logan. Since he arrived at the school, something brought you together like a magnet. Sadly, not everything came out as you wished it would be. Time is not gentle with mutants, and you try so hard to show him your unconditional love before everything is over, but can you finally accept your feelings for each other? Or yours and Logan's tumultuous relationship through the years.
(PART ONE → PART TWO) | GEN MASTERLIST!
Pairing: Logan x mutant!female!reader.
Word count: 9.6k.
Warnings: slow burn, breaking up(?)/making up, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut and unprotected everything, language, character death, time travel, Logan hurting reader unintentionally, wounds and blood. Logan being a whore for both Jean Grey and the reader. Reader has slow aging as Logan and looks around mid 30s in my head. Anthropology teacher!reader. Reader can manipulate light (just like Starlight from The Boys). This takes place between different movies from the franchise, from X-Men 1 to DoFP, so spoilers of the movies ahead.
Notes: Long time no write. Life is horrible but somehow I managed to get this in like two months. I love Logan so fucking much now you don't have an idea. This was also written with Happy Mistake by Lady Gaga in mind. If you'd like to be tagged in the second part let me know or let me know your thoughts on this, it's very much appreciated! I suffered a lot writing it .
𝒊𝒇 𝒊 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒇𝒊𝒙 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊'𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆.
—
2000
“Need any help?”
Logan stopped on his tracks from wandering around the cozy, yet strange place he woke up in. Turning on his feet, he saw your figure standing in the middle of the hallway. He said nothing, but you approached him as you had known him for a very long time.
“I assume you’re the new guy-”
“Where is she?” Logan abruptly interrupted once you stood inches away from him.
“Rogue? She’s fine. And you need to take a little rest.”
“I don’t need medical attention,” he said, looking around to search for a nearby exit. Before he walked away you took his arm in a soft grip.
He was, as much as you could tell, surprised by your boldness. You gave him no time to process his next movements once you talked again, your voice firm and welcoming in a way he had never felt before.
“Please, you need to meet Professor Xavier,” you said. “At least before you go. It’s totally fine if you wanna leave, I don’t recommend it though, but we can offer you a safe place here. We are just like you.”
Logan’s hardened expression relaxed for a moment, sensing no threat coming from you. All he saw in your eyes wasn’t pity, nor anger at him being kind of an asshole at first. It was just authority, the good kind where he also had something to say and decide about.
“Whatcha say, Logan?”
He was so immersed in his thoughts before you called his name, thinking it sounded beautiful falling off your lips. You gave him a half smile as he took in each detail of your face, as if he was memorizing every part of it.
It was the first time someone had been nice to him and it felt strangely good.
For some reason, it felt very good coming from you.
—
Logan just found out from the Professor’s mouth the mansion was a school for mutants. Gifted people, he called them. After learning another powerful mutant was behind him and Rogue, he had no other choice but accept the shelter. He didn’t like the other guys better, playing the teacher with a bunch of teenagers with special or cursed abilities. But besides Storm and Jean, you were the person who had welcomed him the most, even showing him the place and the room he would stay in.
One late night, you sat at the dining table together. Logan was silently drinking a beer outside school hours so the kids wouldn’t see him, and you, reading a bunch of papers from your students that you were missing. He realized how hard you worked, how you would praise your students, how you talked to them outside classes, being the one to actually convince Rogue to enroll in the school. Immediately, he knew you were really something, having much more in common than he thought. And you, living for so long, being both a mutant and a lady for sure had a hard life through time.
“What you teach again?” he suddenly asked, breaking the comfortable silence you shared.
“Anthropology,” you answered, giving him a short glance. “I took this at college a long time ago, and I’ve been alive long enough to know a thing or two,” you explained, putting away a paper after putting an A+ on it proudly. “It’s important to understand ourselves, humankind and mutants… It’s a diverse world and there are lots of cultures, languages and societies we don’t get to know, but it’s beautiful. I think I like to celebrate what makes us unique. I've had the chance to study some of them around the world since I had the time, y’know, and it’s truly amazing. It’s a shame we have to fight between us to make us heard when we could just be kind and empathetic to each other… Sorry, you didn’t ask but, y’know, anyway.”
You shook your head with a curve on your lips, going back to the next paper. Logan had taken the sparks in your eyes as you talked. He half smiled to himself once you buried yourself in your papers again, thinking you sounded just like Professor Xavier. No wonder why he took you in. Probably, if things were different for him, he would’ve found something that could light his face with so much passion just like you did.
“Been alive for almost two hundred years,” Logan said and you looked up to him. “We might have things about the past to share,” he drank from his beer. It was your turn to smile back at him.
“Yeah, well, I’ve lived both horrible but nice things. Couldn’t read or do math without being called a witch,” you chuckled to yourself, but hiding on the inside the awful experiences you had to endure. “Someday, we could go out and grab a coffee or something,” you said with a playful smile.
A light chuckle left your lips, but you and him knew it wasn’t just a joke.
He joined you with a warm smile that lit up his face before disappearing from his lips. “Of course. Count me in.”
—
The sun was shining bright and the weather was great that morning. Some of the students were in the yard playing, having some quality time, and others simply just left to go to the town. It was a good weekend before the next semester started, and it was better now knowing Magneto had been taken to prison after his failed attempt to use Rogue for his plans.
Sipping on your coffee, you saw the students outside. Laughing, running, having a good breakfast picnic. It felt heartwarming just taking this sight, wishing it would always be like this. Your mindful peace was interrupted when Logan entered the kitchen to have a coffee on his own. Visibly, you tensed just a little when he approached you and sat right in front of you at the dining table. The caffeine was not helping at all, you thought.
“Morning,” he greeted you, noticing something was off on you, but hoping it would pass. Maybe you already knew.
“Morning…” your voice came out as a whisper. “How you feeling?”
“Better. What about you?”
You gave a small nod. “Good, thanks for asking.”
A silence fell upon you. Not like the ones you used to share in lonely nights where you prepared your classes and Logan just sat down calmly because he couldn’t sleep. This time it was different. Words won’t come out of your mouth to ask what was really bothering you. You had grown up to like Logan and enjoy his company, but he had a lot of walls upon him, protecting himself of the world and people around him.
However, you understood why he did it. You both have been alive longer than anyone else. You saw people you love dearly dead, being killed because of your flaws. And you really connected to his idea of protecting people by leaving their side. It was better being away. That was until Professor Xavier recruited you. Here, you had a purpose and you helped young people to become the best versions of themselves. You wished Logan could do the same, stay and see he was more of what he thought of himself, but it wouldn’t happen. Right? He had things to sort out on his own.
“Are you leaving soon?”
When you asked the question, Logan knew you had heard something from the Professor. He gave you a nod.
“I need to reconnect with who I was,” he simply answered.
“Right… Wish you all the best there.”
Logan had grown to like you over the past few weeks you shared, exchanging experiences and lessons of life you had taken through the years. For a moment, he looked right into your eyes and smiled. He weirdly smiled, and you could swear he’d miss you too once he is away.
But that warm feeling soon faded away once Jean walked into the kitchen, saying good morning and beaming to the both of you. Logan followed her with his gaze, straightening himself on his seat as she served her own breakfast and an extra plate that you already knew was for Scott. She also began putting fruits and snacks inside a picnic basket while looking all happy and settled, and you knew why Logan had fallen in love with her. It was all over his face.
And you wondered how could he act and talk to you so kindly and sweet, and then look at Jean like that. It was a pain in your heart you tried to dissipate. Everyone knew Jean and Scott were a couple, and the fact that Logan had a not so secret crush on her really played on you. It made you feel like a fool and you had too many heartbreaks and hurted people, putting them in danger due to your mutation, to take initiative and start a relationship - or anything of the sort - again.
Scott made his way inside the kitchen, saying hi to both of you - mostly you. And took the tray with their plates as Jean grabbed the basket, but she let Scott leave the kitchen before.
“Have a good trip, Logan,” she said kindly. “I hope to see you around here soon.”
“Thank you, Jean.”
She smiled one last time before leaving you all alone, Logan following her with his eyes. Just for a second, you wished he could see you like that underneath his facade.
—
You had packed your stuff later that day, deciding a little air and a change for one night would do no wrong. Just as you were walking to the main door, Rogue was saying her goodbyes to Logan after giving him a small hug without really touching him. It was a cute sight how Rogue was able to step into his cold heart. She said goodbye to you as well before leaving the entrance.
“You’re going away too?” Logan asked, rather surprised as you both walked through the door, the sun hitting your skin as soon as you were out of the mansion. He knew your life was at the school.
“Just for the weekend,” you shrug it off.
Logan gave you a nod with a warm smile. “Then have a good trip and enjoy yourself.”
“Thanks. I hope you find what you’ve been looking for.”
“I hope so too,” Logan answered and before he went to take Scott’s bike, he looked at you hesitantly for a couple of seconds. “We should go out and grab some coffee once I’m back.”
Your lips formed a wide smile. “That sounds really nice.”
For a moment, where time felt like hours and not seconds, you stood right out the door, looking at each other. You wanted him to go first, but he was waiting for you to say something. Probably to ride the bike with him, he could leave you somewhere near your destination and feel you close - just be around you for at least five more minutes. But none of that ever happened.
Instead, you studied his face, looking at his deep eyes, and then his lips - those lips you wanted to kiss so bad before, but never had the courage to do so. You didn’t think further, and if something had taken possession over you, you leaned towards him leaving a short, sweet kiss on the corner of his lips.
“Take care,” you mumbled once you pulled away.
Not waiting for his answer, you turned back, pulling your bag to your side stronger than ever and walked the path to the front gates, feeling his gaze all over you until you left the mansion.
He felt such an idiot for not kissing you properly.
—
2003
‘I know what I want, but what do you want?’
Mystique’s words echoed through his head. Logan left the tent so long ago he didn’t know what time it was anymore and the situation kept repeating again and again in his mind. The woman had shifted between Jean, Ororo, and you. The one that icked him the most being Rogue once Mystique had taken her figure in. Storm was a good colleague, Jean was a forbidden love, Rogue was like his little sister, someone he would protect as long as he could, and you… you were a different case. When Mystique was about to kiss him wearing your figure, he finally realized he started feeling things he had prohibited himself for a very long time, and he thought he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t.
Once or twice you shared experiences about love and partners, but he could tell it hurted you the same way as him. He couldn’t burden breaking your heart, or worse, getting you hurt because of what he was. Logan knew you had the same bad luck in the past, but it didn’t stop any of you to pull towards each other like a magnet.
‘Living for so long does things to you, Logan. I feel we become more aware of what we are.’
Those words you said to him one time remained in his head like a warning, and he took it personally.
Closing his eyes, he leaned against a hard tree trunk some feet away from the tents where the rest of the X-Men rested. He tried to find some peace alone for a few moments when the sounds of steps approaching alerted his senses. Claws out and ready to attack, he spun around the trunk only to stop in a second.
There you were, a bright light emanating from your hand to illuminate your path in the darkness of the woods.
“Logan?”
Quickly, he withdrew his claws and his body relaxed visibly. “Sorry,” he apologized, leaning against the tree one more time.
“Are you okay?” you asked, but you already knew the answer. The exhausted sigh he let out told you everything you needed. You let the soft glow of light floating between you and him, to illuminate both of you under the branches. “You wanna talk?”
He slowly shook his head, mumbling ‘no’. He became startled in the light floating like a firefly, letting his own issues wash away with your sole company. Ironically, everything that was troubling him was you. Softly, you caressed his arm, taking him out of his own thoughts. Your touch didn’t help his poor mind either.
Looking worried about the next mission in Lake Alkali, you feared for him and your team. And your lack of sleep was showing it. But just like Logan, the growing feelings were troubling your head. You had seen him talking with Jean earlier when you landed in the forest - talking too close to your liking once he pulled her for a kiss. But what could you do? Logan was still after Jean even when she had already declined him countless of times, and it didn’t really hurt you. It just felt strange inside. Why would he do that while still being nice to you, quitting being a dick when he wanted because he knew you’d snap back at him. And to be honest, Logan looked as if he liked that about you. But he won’t admit it out loud, and of course, you wouldn’t ask. Men were so damn complicated.
“Well, I only expect things to not get worse…” you finally said in a soft whisper since he wasn’t talking and you stopped your head going further on the matter. And you knew he wouldn’t talk soon either. “And you’re brave for seeking your past.”
Logan locked his eyes with your own, under the soft light. Your tired gaze, your figure, your aura pulling him like he found a treasure in an abandoned cave… He felt so bad for falling for someone like you, who was nothing compared to the crap he was. And then, for the first time in years, he decided to follow his instinct with you.
He leaned towards your figure, his rough hand cupping your cheek gently before pulling you in for a kiss. With a soft sigh you corresponded, your arms around his neck as it turned deeper and harsher. Logan lifted you easily from the ground, your legs tangling around his waist until you felt your back against a rough surface, trapped between the trunk and his body. Soft moans and grunts mingled, your chest pressing against his own, his hips grinding against your crotch. It was obvious you wanted this. Logan desired you so painfully after that day you kissed him goodbye at the mansion, he needed your body and soul. But you had to have answers before giving into the heat of the moment.
Pulling away, you broke the kiss, your forehead resting against his own as you tried to catch your breath. Logan tried to taste you once again, but you placed two of your fingers on his swollen lips.
“Why’d you kiss her?”
He remained silent, brows furrowed and eyes blown in lust. You didn’t make any effort to pull him away. He still had you between his legs, asking a simple question he had no response for.
“We’re adults here, Logan. Just wanna know why before we go further.”
Logan started to remember. He vividly heard Jean and Mystique voicing out and asking the right question.
‘Girls flirt with the bad guy. They take the good guy home.’
‘What do you want?’
“Do you really want me?” he asked in return.
You lifted an eyebrow at his sudden question. “And do you?”
He leaned again for a kiss on your lips, and thankfully for him, you didn’t stop it. But he quickly pulled away and inhaled your sweet scent from the skin on your neck, leaving a path of soft pecks, until he nipped the shell of your ear softly. You shivered under his touch.
“I’d love to have you,” he whispered, softly caressing your cheek with his thumb.
“Come to my tent,” you mumbled. “Sleep with me. But like, seriously, sleep with me ‘cause I’m tired,” you chuckled, hoping to not kill the mood.
Logan smiled for a bit and nodded, pecking your lips one more time before helping you get on your feet on the muddy ground, hands rubbing your sides slowly.
“As long as I have you by my side it’s alright with me.”
—
Jean’s death was hard to swallow.
For weeks, students and teachers mourned her, and you felt sorry for Scott for losing his soulmate. Logan was not in the best shape either. He didn’t attend her funeral, he never had the guts to stand by her grave either, until now. You stopped right behind him and noticed him sighing, under the afternoon sunset. He was tense because of everything, but when you took his hand out of the pocket of his jacket, he held onto you. Your fingers intertwined together, feeling his life depending solely on you, like a rock he needed to support his whole weight.
The day was about to end, the sun slowly hiding, giving a beautiful painting of orange and purple in the sky. You thought it would soon become an intense thunderstorm due to Ororo’s mourn - something you had gotten used to the last few days.
“She saved us,” Logan barely mumbled, looking intensely at the grave.
You nodded, even if he could not see you. “Can’t blame her, I’d have done the same.”
Those words cause him to look back at you, wishing it’d be a lie. But inside, Logan knew you really had the guts to sacrifice yourself for others. It was something he remembered both of you talking about some time ago. And you would give everything in your hands to save the ones you love.
Quietly, Logan gave a last glance at Jean’s grave, and guided you inside the mansion. Classes barely started again due to the circumstances and a few kids could be seen around the halls. You accompanied him to the doors of his room, noticing you had been holding hands the whole time. Probably no one really cared, they were too busy trying to go through the grief of losing a loved one. Slowly, you broke the gesture, taking your hand away and Logan immediately missed the heat and comfort of your hand.
“Do you need anything?” you asked in a low voice.
Looking at you, Logan reminisced how you kissed in the woods, the need and lust for each other that couldn’t be. He did sleep in your tent that night, in the comfort of your arms, feeling the warmth of your skin. It was, probably, the first time he had a good, peaceful night of sleep in years. No one had brought that up, but he knew something was there. And he needed to act on it before it was too late.
So he brought up his hands to your face, cupping your cheeks lovingly before planting a kiss on your lips, not caring he was standing in the middle of the hallway where anyone could see what was going on. You leaned against his touch, deepening the kiss until you couldn’t catch a breath. When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead into yours, taking in the beauty of your bright eyes and swollen lips. Everything wandering his mind, making a path right into his cold heart was right in front of him.
“You.”
—
Knocking Professor Xavier's door, you walked inside as soon as his voice announced to come in. You caught your breath seeing Logan by his desk. He just gave you a quick, accomplice glimpse and left the room, closing the door behind. The exchange of glances wasn’t unnoticed by Charles.
“Here’s the report on my subject for this last semester, Professor,” you announced, leaving the folder on the wooden desk.
“Thank you. How’s Logan doing?” he asked all of a sudden, checking the door the man had crossed just seconds ago.
“Excuse me?”
“Do you believe he is comfortable helping the kids?” the old man asked again. He was seeing right through you, and you kind of hated every time he used to do that to you. Nothing could be hidden from Xavier; definitely you couldn’t hide a single thing for the man who took you in decades ago.
“Why would I know that?”
He shrugged it off. “Well, you seem very close lately.”
Close was not the best word to describe your relationship with Logan. Yet, you were sleeping on his bed just the night before. The trace of his kisses, the burn of his beard on your skin, his teeth biting softly your breasts, his rough hands all over your hips… Every touch he left on your body you could still feel it, and you wanted to think he was not just using you. During the past weeks, you were together. Not quite a relationship-thing was established properly, but it was the closest thing any of you could have as for now.
It was a mixture of grief, pain, and hope that had you both still standing. In the end, you understood what he felt. Being alone and alive for so long and then finding a place where people accepted you for who you were was a whole change, even if some years passed by. Though, the time Logan had been spending at the school was nothing but a blink of an eye compared to his past.
“What happened to our team is still affecting us,” you finally said. “I believe we are good friends, yes, we’ve been supporting each other. And he doesn’t know how to deal with the students yet most of the time, but I try to walk him through it.”
Xavier hummed, smiling at the corner of his lips as he eyed the folder you handed him. “I bet you both do.Thanks for bringing your report on time, as always, and I apologize if I am being intrusive. Just please be careful with the noises both of you make at night, we have kids around here.”
Shit.
You swallowed your pride right there and simply gave a nod, feeling the heat burning up your face.
“Will do, Professor.”
—
A loud gasp escaped your lips as you held for dear life on his broad shoulders, hips snapping against your own. His pace was reckless, keeping you on the edge of sin. Grunts mixed with sweet moans, skin hitting skin again and again every time you felt his cock inside you. If possible, your nails could have already left visible scars and marks on his back, scratching and bleeding off his skin as he fucked you senseless.
Logan sucked on the bare skin on your neck, inhaling your scent, feeling your walls clenching around his girth, his hands roughly grabbing the sides of your hips as you moaned his name, over and over, under the moonlight. He looked at you intensely with loving eyes when you came underneath him, eyes flashing that familiar bright light every time a powerful orgasm hit your body. The vulnerable sight of your figure shaking, eyes closing slowly and biting your lip to keep the pretty noises low, made him reach the sweetest high.
With a grunt, he leaned to attack your lips in a heated, wet kiss to moan against your mouth. Logan pulled back to press butterfly kisses on your jaw, until he reached your breasts, feeling himself soften inside your wet heat. His hips were still thrusting just enough to fill you up at a gentle rhythm. Marking you his and only his.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he mumbled against the sensitive skin of your chest. “Remind me why we’re here again.”
You chuckled softly, fingers tangling on his disheveled hair. You just had prepared a small date night out at the shores of a beautiful lake in the woods. No one could bother you if you were alone, and since your relationship was not so secret anymore, you needed him in a place that wasn’t the school. So here you were, laying on your back, fully naked on the picnic blanket, with the Wolverine between your legs, enjoying the calmness of the water, the green grass, the crickets singing around, and the cold of the night.
“Privacy perhaps?” you whispered as his eyes locked on yours.
Softly you touched his cheek with the palm of your hand and he rolled both of you over, until you laid on top of him, legs straddling his waist and your arms on his shoulders to sit on his lap. Silence took over, his hands soothing your hips and the marks he left on your body from the intense love-making.
“I’m so happy we took a couple of days off…”
You waited for Logan to say something. Anything. You wanted to continue, to tell him how you really felt. Instead, you decided it was better leaving it like this. Logan gave you a nod, pulling you for a short kiss.
“Yeah. Me too.”
He wanted to say it out loud, but was too scared to do so.
—
2006
After a couple of long years, the school and the team had to learn how to go through the grief and pain Jean left. Logan had a hard time processing it, just like all your teammates, specially Scott, and of course the students. It didn’t stop you from moving on as time went by though, always remembering her for the great person and mind she was. Going forward and keeping fighting is what she would’ve wanted for everyone, even now that a certain cure for mutants was announced to the public.
You tried to continue your life as a professor at the school, training students, leading young people, and you invited and encouraged Logan to do so countless times. Deep inside, you wished it was you the reason why Logan decided to stay and train young mutants - for you to be the answer to his loneliness. That he knew, for once and all, that he was not alone. You got each other, and you could do something about it. Words unspoken said more than anything, at least you thought so.
It was one of those rare nights where you got some time for yourselves, walking around the city after having a nice and calm dinner. Your shoulders brushed against each other while you walked downtown, your hands hiding inside the pockets of your jacket, protecting them from the cold.
There was a lot on your mind lately, thinking about what you two really were. If there was a stronger feeling in between, or if it was solely because he enjoyed your company and that was it. Both had lived enough to know there was a feeling in the middle. It wasn’t just friends with benefits, or co-workers who sleep together three times a week. Something was blooming deep inside you, but you tried to not give it a lot of attention all those years. Still, it felt like it had to be addressed sooner or later, and this could be the time. In the end, you understood each other perfectly. How painful it was, how living longer than anyone was, how you had to leave everything and everyone behind because you were dangerous…
“Have you ever wondered how’d it feel to have a normal life?” your question came out all of the sudden.
“How come?” He looked at you from the corner of his eye.
You didn’t know if his gaze was judging you but you continued anyway.
“Like living a normal amount of years… Not having these things, genes that make us different. Or special…”
Logan suddenly stopped in his tracks and grabbed your arm softly so you could lock eyes together as he asked. “You’re not thinking of getting that damn cure, aren’t you?”
“Of course not!”
“Then why’d you think that?”
“Because I never had anyone in my life, Logan,” you spat, pulling your arm away from his grip. “I’ve been alive for so long but I can’t promise myself a future. A real one. Not anything, it doesn’t matter if I live forever. Every person I loved before perished.”
Those words shook him out of the rough façade showing on his face. Your gaze told a hundred different stories when he studied your face every time. It was like mirroring himself at some point. You were the first person he ever got to know that has lived as long as he has, and maybe it was the sentimentalism, but he tried to push away those wishes of settling down. Of trying to be normal. Because he was not, and maybe, just maybe, you just didn’t accept it like he did. Probably, he was just giving up. But you weren’t, even after hundreds of years of disgrace continuously happening.
“I thought you’d get this, Logan.”
You mumbled, taking him out of his trance.
“Well, I do, in a way,” he said, but sounded more like an excuse for himself.
“Then why don’t you say it?”
“Wha-”
“Just say it,” you repeated and pointed between you and him. “What is this for you? What are we?”
Logan grabbed on your shoulders gently and leaned towards you, stealing a kiss on the sidewalk, a kiss you obliged with a bittersweet feeling for some reason, but then he whispered. “Darling, you’re everything to me now.”
Yet, you smiled and kissed him back, feeling his lips curve against your own. Well, that wasn’t so hard was it?
—
Needless to say, after the last date, your relationship with Logan had evolved to something more domestic, considering you lived together in your workplace. Affection, holding hands, quick kisses were shared now a little more freely, and you had received a couple of jokes and teases from some students and Storm. But it was fine as long as you had cleared your path with Logan, even if he didn’t act like a partner sometimes.
The certain calmness you felt one day disappeared when Logan and Ororo went to look for Scott, who often had these sad thoughts, and since Jean was his partner, it was thoroughly complicated for him to say the least. When Logan and Ororo came back to the mansion, it was not what you expected to see. Jean was alive and Scott was gone.
It hurted you, knowing first hand that their love wouldn’t be anymore. You met both of them when they were so young, becoming something like their mentor when they used to learn how to control their powers and how to fit in this world that loathed mutants to death. Now, the school was something else. It was a big, special place that was not the same without the brains of Jean, or the enthusiasm and leadership of Scott. Things were different, they had to change because the circumstances told so, and everyone had a difficult time adapting to it. One thing after another left you tired, with no option to run away, even if you wanted to. The complicated circumstances and the relationship you shared with Logan were no help either.
While on your way to check on Jean, who was still under observation after a couple of days, you stopped in your tracks when the heavy door of the med bay slid. Logan, looking all out of his daily self and mad, found you at the entrance, and you felt something different emanating from him.
For what you could see behind him, Jean was still asleep, and the Professor called Logan to come back with a serious voice, but he ignored the older man, instead approaching you.
“You knew, didn’t you?” Logan grasped your arm, his tone lower and deeper than usual.
You quickly pulled off his grip and hissed. “What are you talking about?”
“Jean.”
You felt silent. Of course she was anything he could think of since they found her.
“You knew he was controlling her,” Logan went on and your heart skipped a beat.
The look in your eyes told everything but lies. Logan scoffed and walked away, leaving you standing alone under Professor Xavier’s gaze.
“I’ll talk to him,” you mumbled at your mentor before following Logan, trying to keep his pace until he reached his room.
The whole way you tried to keep it professional, greeting students as normally you would, but when you crossed his door it was impossible to continue with the facade.
“Logan-”
“He’s insane,” he snapped, putting his jacket on and taking his bag out.
“Everything that was done was meant to protect her,” you responded calmly as he placed a handful of clothes inside the bag.
“No, you did it because you are disgusting. I bet this is what should’ve been for me if I refused to cooperate with your circus or something.”
“You don’t know what she is capable of-”
“Yeah, well I don’t wanna hear it anymore. This is so fucked up, even for you,” he continued, bag on his hand taking long strides until you were almost touching noses.
You scoffed, trying to laugh at the irony. “What does that even mean? Do you know how horrible it is to be controlled by the Phoenix inside her?.”
Logan rolled his eyes, not wanting to hear another poor excuse. You continued anyway, looking straight in his eyes before he could leave you hanging with your own words. Exactly like he used to do every damn time when you had an argument. Today, he wouldn’t run away that fast.
“She could kill you in a second and won’t hesitate. For her, we’re nothing. We’re not rivals, we can’t do shit. The only thing we could do was keep her alter ego somewhere hiding inside her mind, or else we wouldn’t be here arguing about something you never witnessed. Because I did and you don’t wanna see that, trust me,” you spat at him. He breathed rage at your words and you knew that it was getting on his nerves seeing the way his hands turned to fists. “And you think this version of her cares for you? Or that she loves you? Jean is gone now, Logan, fucking get over it.”
With last harsh words, you turned around and left the room, closing the door with a thud.
Logan breathed out. He wanted to scream, hit something, run away… Anything to let it out. He was a reckless mess but how could he react and accept Charles was playing with Jean’s mind? And you fucking knew all this time and didn’t say anything? Were his feelings dirty on him right now? Probably. Shit, he took years to finally tell you the truth about his love and affection towards you. He spent months trying to find the right words just to say ‘I love you’, and still, it seemed it wasn’t enough. The forbidden love he felt for Jean never disappeared, and he felt guilty for it.
—
You walked down to the med bay after calming down for a bit. You only needed to check on Jean for a moment and see how she was doing. Years prior, you had witnessed what the Phoenix was capable of, so you didn’t really question Charles’ methods when it came to hide this dangerous side of her inside her mind. You also thought your words might have been a little harsh on Logan, but it was the truth. He didn’t know who the Phoenix was and, if his feelings for Jean resurfaced after believing her being dead, then it wasn’t on you. As much as you loved him, as much as you tried and somehow managed to move on together, he was so easily dragged to her.
The anger you felt before took over you once again, as you found the metal doors of the lab in debris. Quickly, you made your way inside the room and found Jean wasn’t there and that Logan was lying unconscious on the floor. You knelt down by his side, calling him over and over and touching his face and shaking his shoulders until he finally opened his eyes slowly, coming back to reality.
“Logan, what happened?”
“She… she killed Scott. The Phoenix,” he whispered. You could tell he was a little weak and out of breath.
“You’re lucky she just ran away,” you pointed out, helping him to sit down. His eyes were lost in the mess in the room. Tools were destroyed, test tubes broken, crystal was everywhere, and Jean left the reminder of kissing him, yet again, before she escaped. God, he felt so idiotic.
“I’m sorry,” Logan said, looking at you. “Sorry for being a jerk. It’s my fault.”
Taking his cheeks between your hands, you gave him a reassuring look. “We’re gonna find her, okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah, we’ll find her.”
“Come here, we need to alert Charles,” you said, helping him to stand up.
Inside, you knew he wouldn’t really need your help. He was strong and indestructible like the metal on his skull, but he seemed really taken back, and you decided to stay by his side, holding his hand strongly as a way to say sorry as well. It was kind of difficult to see Logan in that state of mind, confused and lost, and you wondered what had happened back there in the lab as you left him in his bedroom, ordering him to rest for a while.
“I’ll be right back,” you assured him with loving eyes.
Logan nodded, following your figure stepping out the room and disappearing in the hallway.
He let out a breath he didn’t know was holding. His mind was having a hard time and his heart felt like breaking, going in two opposite directions, and he hated himself for that. His fate was always the same: losing people he loved and cared for dearly. So seeing Jean back again was as if god or anything up there remembered he existed and brought her back just for him. Or maybe he was just being selfish because he already had you.
You were everything for him. A couple of years might be just a short glimpse for both of you, but he was able to feel peace and calm next to you, and he was sure you did as well. Because some nights, that was all you could talk about. Logan didn’t mind hearing you for hours, it reminded him he was alive. With you, but his stupid instinct had to act.
It was his fault Jean had left. The kiss, the whole act of embracing each other’s bodies for at least two minutes, and then her breakdown, begging for him to kill her… All of that was enough to bring out the beast inside her. And he felt such a jerk now for following his desires. He already had you. Wasn’t that enough?
His thoughts were interrupted once you arrived again, finding him sitting at the end of the bed exactly as you had left him there. Sensing something different on him, you sat down by his side and rubbed his hand gently.
“We might know where she’s going,” you whispered.
“I’ll go,” Logan said before you could finish.
“I’m not sure if I should ask, but are you okay? You could do some rest,” you suggested, since seeing the redhead was clearly getting some kind of reaction from him.
“No, I need to go,” he said. But Logan could read your face perfectly, and he knew you didn’t really like the idea of him leaving the mansion. You turned your eyes, scanning the room and avoiding his gaze.
You had the need to ask what exactly had happened back there with Jean, but you didn’t want to start a fight either. Feeling Logan’s hand on your shoulder, he leaned to kiss your forehead goodbye. Maybe you were the one who should stay, check the kids, the school…
“It’ll be fine,” he mumbled, voice low and deep, as if trying to convince you, but himself as well. You nodded with your arms around his neck, giving him a hug that felt like some sort of apology you weren’t able to say out loud. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”
And how you’d wish things would be fine.
—
The school has been very quiet lately. Too silent even for his taste. At nights like these, he could still feel the vigor and presence of the students running around, grabbing something to eat, planning to go out for a while... Instead, Logan found himself in a place that was mourning. Grieving the loss of Jean, Scott and Charles.
The feelings inside were complicated. He didn’t really feel the same, and the disgrace and remorse of his actions were growing on him. They were still haunting him; every day, every single night. You knew it too. It was impossible to ignore the nightmares each time he woke up from seeing Jean’s lifeless body fall against his own after he gave what she wished for the most: death.
And then, there was you. He noticed how difficult it was getting for you to sleep. You tried to hide your sorrow into your work, studying even more, keeping yourself busy with the school and not thinking about anything else. Since Charles was gone, Ororo took his place and you were her second hand. But you pushed yourself too hard.
Tonight he found your bedroom empty. He didn’t find you on his either, so he went to the place he knew you would be: your classroom. The door was half opened, the dim light of the lamp on your desk barely illuminated the papers on the surface. He found you deeply concentrated reading on something, hands on the sides of your head hiding your face.
“Hey,” he softly mumbled, stepping inside the empty classroom.
You quickly straightened yourself on the chair, wiping your cheeks and tried to look decent for a moment.
“Hey,” you replied back, low voice.
“Come to bed,” he said, coming to stand before you, his hand on your shoulder comforting and soothing you, making its way to the side of your neck. His big palm on your cheek, caressing the skin stained with your tears as if it was the most delicate thing. He took a look at the mess of papers and old books you loved too much to get rid of, scattered on the wooden surface.
“No, I- I can’t. Need to finish these by tomorrow…”
Logan gave you a nod and a grimace before taking your hand, motioning to come closer. You stood up, knowing he was trying to get you out of the work that was consuming you.
He observed every feature on your face, the sadness in your stare couldn’t be hidden. He just knew you too well, just like the palm of his hand, and he wanted to make you forget. At least for a little. You had taken care of him, helped him with your presence and your unique aura, bringing him comfort and peace to his broken mind. He wanted you to be fine. To feel loved.
Logan leaned just exactly to brush his lips with your own, teasing a kiss that he longed too much, his hands around your waist pulling you towards him.
“Can you just let me take care of you?”
Swallowing hard the knot on your throat, you curled your lips as much as the grief let you. “Yes,” you nodded.
With this, Logan leaned until your lips connected. Your arms around his neck pulled him as closer as you could get, feeling his chest against your own, his strong hands around your waist, softly touching you above your clothes.
Logan slowly walked you until your back hit the desk, hands roaming on your ass down to your legs, placing you to sit down over the loose pages. It might ruin the work a little, but none of you cared. Everything in your head was him, between your legs, running his wet mouth down your jaw, his stubble burning your skin as you gasped gently. Lying on your back on the desk, he began descending down your breasts, unbuttoning your blouse until he exposed you to the cold of the room.
He stopped right on your trousers, and gave you a quick glance. You were so eager, wet already. He could sense it. Your eyes were glowing and you were already trying to catch your breath by just his kisses and touch.
“You locked the door?” you whispered.
“Damn right I did,” he voiced, hoarse and low voice from just thinking of railing you right there and then.
“Then don’t stop.”
At your command, he unzipped your trousers, letting them fall down along with your heels on the floor. He then leaned to take your lips in a sloppy kiss, more urgent this time of feeling you close. You moaned, nails scratching his skin. His calloused hands explored your bare legs and things, creating friction with his hips with slow, controlled thrusts against your crotch. Logan left a trail of kisses down to your breasts, licking and tasting the saltiness of your body.
You urged him to go down where you ached the most, hand tangling on his hair. His hands grabbed the back of your thighs, spreading to him until his nose was almost buried on your panties, smelling and taking the sweetness of your scent, licking softly with his wet tongue over the fabric. A trail of moans and curses left your lips. He pulled your panties aside before diving in your pussy, licking your folds and teasing your hole with two of his fingers.
“Logan…”
His name repeatedly left your mouth like a plea, his fingers now inside you, stretching your walls for him. The noises grew obscene and nasty as he ate you out like a sweet craving he had been denying himself the pleasure for so long.
He was growing hard just by hearing your whimpers, and he needed you. You always were a fucking longing for him. Your words, your intelligence, your beauty… Everything he needed, you had it. And still, he didn’t have any idea of how such a rational, smart woman like you learned to love him so deeply.
You tugged on his hair, hips thrusting up to meet his growling mouth. You were so close, felt almost there where you wanted, but he pulled away before you finished.
Logan unzipped his jeans leaning back, admiring your blissed out eyes and glistened figure.
“Come here,” you begged in a whisper, tangling your legs around his waist.
He let out a low, dirty chuckle, feeling your hands on his boxers, freeing his erection.
“So fucking eager,” Logan breathed kissing your lips, hands supporting his weight at the sides of your head on the desk.
You tasted yourself within the kiss and you moaned at his words, your hand pumped him just enough to feel his pre cum leaking already, lining his dick with your cunt. Inch by inch, he entered slowly so you could get used to his size. Logan pecked your lips gently, kissing your cheeks and the side of your neck to get into your sensitive skin. You tugged on his white shirt so he could remove it and he ripped your bra apart right after. He loved to feel your chest pressed against his own. You gasped but paid no mind, instead urging him to move inside you.
“Shit, Logan please-”
A particular harsh trust caught your breath on your throat. You held onto dear life with your hands on his shoulders. He pounded into you rock hard and deep. So damn deep the desk was shrieking under, papers fell off and the lamp moved at the same rhythm but you hoped it won’t break.
Logan growled, inhaling your scent and tasting the sweat forming on your collarbone, your breasts bouncing against his chest. He felt your nails trailing down his back, and oh, how he wished he could get damn scars on just by fucking you like this. But the view of you, squirming under him, eyes closed, being a whimpering mess… All because of him. He was so insanely in love with your fucked out expression every time.
Your walls clenched, close to the sweet end. Logan felt himself twitching inside your warm pussy and his thrusts were getting erratic and sloppy. He filled you up, reaching his own climax first, hot white ropes of cum painting your insides. Your pussy milked him all the way as he kept spliting you open until you let yourself go, legs trembling around his waist.
For a moment, you stayed like this, with him kissing your shoulder and caressing your thigh, taking in the aftermath of your intense lovemaking.
“Thank you…”
Your whisper forced him to look up at you. There it was, that loving, sweet gaze you had reserved just for him.
He nodded, palm on your jaw holding you gently. “Of course…”
For some reason, he wanted to voice out for once those stupid three words.
I love you.
Or at least hoped you would do it first.
—
The night was cold under the moonlight, almost freezing. He wondered how he got trapped there, between the messy, withered shrubbery, fog, and the trees of a forest he never recalled knowing. He was alert, senses to the limit in case something might attack him. He felt as if he was being watched, but there were no eyes he could find around. He couldn’t see much like that.
But then a voice started to call his name from afar, claws coming out immediately as he sharpened his senses to find the owner. One, two, three times he heard, trying to find the person who was calling but there was only darkness. His heart skipped a beat when someone spoke behind him.
“Logan…”
He turned on his feet and he felt like dying again. “Jean?”
He withdrew his claws back immediately. The redhead smiled, coming closer until she touched his cheek with a soft hand before pulling away. “How are you, Logan?”
“What-”
“Are you happy now?” she asked, beaming brightly as if they were in a casual conversation instead of the darkness of the woods.
His brows furrowed. She couldn’t be real. She wasn’t there with him. Jean was gone, he had killed her because it was what she wanted. It was her way out to get what she needed; it was the key to her freedom…
“What do you mean?”
“With her… Be careful. You could kill her. Just like me,” Jean whispered, tears forming in her eyes.
Logan stepped back, trying to get away. He shook his head in disbelief, not knowing exactly why Jean was saying this to him.
“No… You’re not real…”
“Everything you love is destined to death and chaos, Logan. You shouldn’t be there,” Jean continued, her eyes switching from her usual tone to a deep black. The ground began trembling under their feet with each step of her, wind building up around. Logan felt truly scared, but somehow he couldn’t run, just stand there as she approached. “All she will know is a life of suffering if you stay. She doesn’t need that.”
“Jean-”
“She doesn’t need you!”
“Jean!”
And then it happened so fast. His claws buried on her chest, the Phoenix disappearing and leaving her to die. Jean collapsed against his body and Logan reminisced about the events of that battle, where he had to choose to be selfish or liberate her from her own demons. Logan wasn’t sure why he stabbed her like this. And when he thought Jean was dead in his arms, she started to call his name again. This time, he heard it far away.
Logan.
Logan.
Logan…
Logan!
His eyes went wide open. And there you were, by his side on the bed, calling for him with a pain grimace on your face. His claws buried on your stomach.
“Logan…” you gasped and he pulled the claws out, but you were already bleeding, your nightshirt and the mattress stained.
“Shit, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry- I-”
“It’s okay,” you managed to say as he caressed your cheek before taking you in his arms hurriedly and quickly made the way out of your room through the halls. “The nightmares… I know, Logan…”
“God, I’m so sorry, please forgive me. Hank!” Logan stood outside the scientist’s door. “Hank, I need your help!”
The commotion caused some of the students to peek from their doors, and Logan waited outside what he felt it was forever under the gazes of the teenagers. It wasn’t the first time he had caused the same accident. The door opened, finally revealing a sleepy Hank putting his glasses on.
There was no need to explain what had happened.
—
“She’ll be stable soon,” Hank informed once he let Logan inside the med bay. “If you hadn’t brought her soon…”
Logan swallowed the knot on his throat, watching your unconscious figure on the stretcher. You already had received blood to cover up what you lost because of the wounds, and Logan’s claws were not minor weapons. His mind was a mess, confusion taking over. He didn’t know how he let this happen. He had nightmares pretty often, yes, but nothing like this.
Maybe Jean was right. Maybe she was trying to warn him about something. Or Jean was just trying to protect you from him. The last one felt more realistic. Logan wouldn’t hurt you, not ever. You talked about how dangerous it was to sleep together not so long ago, but you had insisted on staying. It was the first time something felt so damn real in his dreams and he wished you wouldn’t let him in your room that night…
“She’ll wake up, right?” Logan asked.
“Absolutely,” Hank nodded. “I will need to monitor her vital signs though, hopefully within a day or two she will be normal again… At least she’ll be stable until the wounds heal completely.”
Of course, Logan thought. You didn’t have a healing factor just like him.
“I’ll be right back,” Hank announced before stepping out of the room, leaving Logan alone.
He felt so guilty for doing this to you. For everything. For being the cause of your suffering now. He was a threat and mentally unstable. He was strong thanks to his genes, but he was weak on the inside. He promised countless times to protect you, but he couldn’t avoid hurting you himself. It didn’t matter that it was a very bad dream that felt disgustingly real, he had failed and hurted someone who truly loved. Again.
Taking your hand gently into his, he leaned to plant a kiss on your forehead, wishing it would be just another game from his mind.
But it wasn’t. Now, he had the person he loved the most lying unconscious and hurted because he would let his darkest thoughts consume him.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, watching you sleep peacefully. “I should have said it sooner.”
-
PART TWO
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x you#logan howlett x female reader#wolverine smut#logan howlett smut#logan howlett angst#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine angst#james logan howlett#x men fanfiction
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i hope it's okay to add my thoughts as well, as this is something i think about a lot as a System(multiple people in one body, which the majority of people see as inherently a delusion) and a Kinnie (essentially "i was this character in a past life". again, most people consider that delusional).
it does not matter how stupid or obviously fake the delusion sounds to you, and it is not your responsibility to bring someone back to reality. in many cases, that can actually be worse for them, not better. what matters is, are they Functioning? do they need help from you in this moment to function? if they are distressed, how do you alleviate the distress? you do have to pick your battles carefully when it comes to delusions. it's relatively easy to show somebody, based on evidence, that they are not turning into a werewolf. it can be much harder to convince them they aren't poisoned, especially if there is no food left to test and no rational reason why they would be. but you know what you CAN do? put a bunch of black food dye in a drink, give it to them and tell them it's activated charcoal and that'll disrupt anything they've ingested. hell, if they're not currently on any oral medication, you can give them the real thing. yes, it's treating the delusion as Real, but it's also performing a harmless action to make them feel safe again. "monster spray" type shit. one that people in other mental health circles may be familiar with is the delusion that you are an evil, horrible person who just poisons everything around you and is better off dead. this one is often hard for people to deal with, because it can come from a number of different places, each with their own approach needed. of course for a normal highschooler you can usually just ask them if they've done [terrible thing someone real did] and when they say no you can declare that CLEARLY they can't be the worst person in the world, then. sometimes it comes from intrusive thoughts that a lot of people are uncomfortable talking about; convincing someone they're not terrible just because they fantasize about fucked up shit is largely an excercise in teaching them that actions are what actually matters, which many people inherently disagree with due to their upbringing. but i honestly think the hardest one has to be people who've ACTUALLY done something wrong - or, at the very least, people who are convinced they did in a past life or another dimension. because with them, you have to focus on moving forward as a better person and living with the guilt, and that one can either be a lot to ask, or it can be extremely frustrating because you don't personally believe this guy was actually dracula, so why is he so worked up about killing people who were not real? sorry, big wall of text; my point is, there are some delusions where if you want to address them and help, you need to be prepared to be uncomfortable and possibly even grapple with some genuinely hard questions. or, you can try and find a way to distract them from their thoughts. it won't always be possible to reality check someone, and you need to be okay with that if you're going to be close with a delusional person.
and i've said this before, but i'll say it again: who cares if the lady at ihop thinks she's cleopatra stuck in the present. what does it matter? let cleopatra work at ihop, it's not your business. if it's not hurting you, and she's managing the stress of time travel just fine, leave it be.
also, i feel like this should go without saying, but one of the worst ways to make someone's distress even worse is to accuse them of faking their mental health issue. seriously, the amount of times i have seen somebody have an anxiety freakout like OP describes and be told "you just want attention, you know damn well there's nothing wrong with the food, sit down" is genuinely heartbreaking. if that's ever happened to you, from the bottom of my heart, i am offering you a full serving of your favorite food.
I want to add to the post I just reblogged about delusions and how to help people with them, but op was specifically schizophrenic, and the last time I tried to share a related story on a post like that, a different OP got extremely angry that I didn't have an identical disorder to them and accused me of derailing, so I'm making a new post.
I have severe anxiety. The things you can believe when you are going through an acute anxiety attack or panic attack can be so extreme they can be classified as delusions. I've been convinced I poisoned myself, I've been convinced I had rabies, I've been convinced a building was going to burn down, I've been convinced my blood was full of bug eggs that were going to hatch and kill me.
Doctors and family members who have helped me the most were people who took those fears seriously, who examined me no matter how irrational my fear was, and who told me why, based on what they observed, my fears were unlikely to be true.
Instead of "you can't possibly have rabies", it was "the dog is vaccinated, so it can't have rabies, and the skin where it nipped you is not broken."
Instead of "Of course your blood isn't full of bug eggs" it was "bug eggs would have hatched by now" which was so coldly logical it completely snapped me out of my panic.
Instead of "I'm sure you didn't poison yourself", the doctor looked at the bug spray and the ingredients and listened to how I used it and said "based on your exposure, you haven't been poisoned".
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We're simply meant to be
I just had to write something about them. ❤️💜 This time it's longer than usual, and not proofread (sorry) but if you enjoy this little piece, you can read the rest on AO3.
~*~
In the afternoon, Roman is still quite relaxed. He polishes the blade of his sword, humming verses of Sally’s song. Hey, why not? He is only 51% sure that this is a kind of date tonight. It’s not as if Virgil was in any way clear with his all-but-nothing sentence.
»You're right, Roman. We can live like Jack and Sally if we want to.«
There. The word 'date' has not been used in any form.
Virgil had laughed at this point, to Roman’s utter bewilderment. A delightful little laugh that took up all of his attention and everything else outside had ceased to exist. And of course Roman had not known how to help himself other than to take the whole thing to the next level.
»And sit together, now and forever,« he had said, and had taken Virgil’s hands carefully in his. In this moment, Roman had only felt his heart pounding against his ribs in a whirling drum solo.
After that, Virgil had turned away in embarrassment and mumbled something that sounded like, »See you later.«
So maybe it is a date after all.
Perhaps.
(It’s certainly not.)
For seconds Roman bites his fingernails helplessly. He had seen so many cheesy romance movies in his life that he liked to consider himself an expert in the field. There was nothing to surprise him, as he knew all the signs and all the rules. And if you can no longer rely on cheesy romantic movies, then what?
But somehow all these rules never apply to Virgil.
How did they get here in the first place? Aren't they supposed to argue and fight like in the good old days? Sometimes, Roman likes to picture the deep, passionate rivalry he and Virgil have for each other. He imagines them having endless discussions about Disney characters, staring at each other in a fiery way. And when no one is around, Roman sighs deeply and longingly at this point and buries his heated face in velvety soft red silk pillows.
In the evening, Roman takes a look at his imaginary wardrobe and starts hyperventilating. He’s never had a no-date before. With nobody.
He has no idea what to wear and if he has any piece of clothing that says, 'When you look at me, I can’t breathe, and whenever you’re around me, I talk a lot more nonsense than usual, but if this is a date, I’d be totally fine with it.'
Lately, Virgil had just been too nice and peaceful around him. He means, nice… within the scope of his limited possibilities. Roman can’t say that this is terribly unpleasant, it’s just very… irritating. He has to do something. Or rather, he has to delegate this problem very quickly so that someone else does it for him.
Roman was great at delegating. This talent was practically innate. That's why he calls Logan.
»We have a… situation,« Roman explains dramatically. »I don't know what to wear!«
Logan throws a 'What do you want from me?' look at him. He raises his eyebrows wordlessly and completely unimpressed and makes absolutely no attempt to move even a millimetre from the spot.
»C’mon, Teach, I need your advice here!«
Usually, Logan would not have been his first choice in terms of clothing and taste, but he also has that unclouded and focused sight that Roman needed right now.
»Pleeeaaase!«
Logan sighs and Roman strongly assumes that this is supposed to mean agreement. Probably, Roman had convinced him with his astute argumentation and natural authority. That, or Logan, for once just doesn’t think a discussion is worth the trouble.
»What's the occasion?« he asks without further ado, pushing his glasses up in an unconscious gesture.
»Something… important,« Roman says vaguely.
#sanders sides#sanders sides fanart#sanders sides fanfic#prinxiety#roman sanders#virgil sanders#logan sanders#patton sanders#humor & fluff
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Thoughts on Act 1 of Arcane Season 2
The positives:
- The animation is fucking incredible.
- Jinx and Sevika teaming up watered my crops and cleansed my skin.
- Underwater goodbye with Jinx and Silco. That scene was made specifically for me.
- Jinx's voice actress continues to be excellent.
- Loved the designs of all the Chembarons. The glimpse we got of the gang wars was also interesting. Unfortunately, too tiny a glimpse. Which brings me to...
The negatives:
- Too many plotlines. They stuffed the season with too much shit which is why each individual plot gets a much shorter screentime than it should. Smeech is introduced and killed in the same episode. Chembarons' gang wars, a huge issue which has repercussions on the entire Undercity, gets only one musical montage before moving on. And this is coming from someone who loved that montage, as well as the song. My favourite on the soundtrack so far. But musical montages shouldn't come at the expense of the story and definitely shouldn't replace the story. There are just way too many music video scenes in general that feel like a way to condense a storyline into the sparknotes version because they don't have the screentime to flesh it out. And they would have the screentime if they cut out all the extra stuffing. Look I'm happy for the League fans who are excited for the Black Rose and all that, but what the hell is it doing in a Piltover/Zaun show. And with zero foreshadowing in Season 1 too. It would definitely be easier to swallow if they had at least hinted at it in the first season. They could have kept Ambessa's beef with this magic cult for a Noxus show. The P/Z narrative has enough to deal with, enough characters to handle already.
- The new side characters are uninteresting and generic. Maddie and the two other enforcers (we don't even know their names after three episodes LMAO) are bland. We know nothing about their characters or personalities. Maddie looks like a rookie, and one of the dudes is an alcoholic, yet they get chosen for an elite strikeforce to capture Jinx? Isha is pretty generic too - the token cute kid that needs protecting. I get the role she will play in Jinx's arc. But that's the problem - she should be a character in her own right, not just a vehicle for someone else's character development. A good example is Mylo. He died for Jinx's arc, but when he was alive he was a distinct character with his own personality. We had a sense of his insecurities, his goals, who he was as a person. Name a single personality trait of Isha and Maddie other than "generically nice person". That's right. You can't.
- Whatever the hell is going on with Viktor. He wakes up from his coma and immediately rejects Jayce so quickly that it was funny. Apparently disapproves of Jayce using the Hexcore to save his life, but then immediately goes to use the Hexcore to save random Undercity people. Bruh. I also don't really like the way the fridged woman from last season seems to be his motivation so far. Nor the way he seems to have no agency in his Machine Herald arc. Instead of Viktor himself believing in transhumanism and mechanizing himself, Jayce does it for him. Instead of Viktor having an ideological drive and wanting a "Glorious Evolution", he is driven by guilt over Sky. Meh. Also he's not even mechanized, instead he's weirdly fleshy?? In a magical way?? More like The Magic Herald :(
- Vi. Her whole character is a mess. Insanely rushed arc which I find unacceptable for one of THE main characters and one of the faces of the show. She and Jinx are supposed to be the leads, their relationship the heart of the story, but so far only Jinx is a well-written fleshed out chaacter with a believable arc. I have too much to say about Vi so I'll expand more on this on another post.
- So much nuance and detail is missing. How does Heimerdinger feel about his ex-colleagues being killed? Does he care? Does he feel guilt? Relieved that he wasn't in the chamber when the bombing happened? No clue! Let's have comedy Mission Impossible instead! How does Ekko feel about the Council attack? Does he approve of it? Think Jinx went too far? How does he feel that she even survived their fight to begin with? No clue! Here, have him joking around with a Councilor for a bit (someone whom Ekko logically should despise), then he can talk Science with Jayce and all three get sent to another dimension together. Yay. What does Vi think happened to Ekko? The last time she saw him, he was fighting Jinx to the death to give Vi and Cait time to escape. He could be dead for all she knows and she doesn't give a fuck. Doesn't even think about him nor mention him once. It's like the writers forgot they're childhood friends. What does the entirety of Zaun make of Silco's death? I assume they heard about it from Piltover (who heard about it from Caitlyn), but how do they think it happened? His body is gone and to Zaun it seems he just mysteriously disappeared. Are there conspiracy theories? Conflicting accounts and rumours? So much nuance that would give the world and characters more depth, sacrificed so we can pack in more rushed subplots and music videos.
- Caitlyn "Wifebeater" Kiramman. And Caitvi in general. So far Caitlyn has guilt-tripped Vi, manipulated her into joining the enforcers, insulted her and then physically abused her. After Vi sacrificed everything for Cait, wore a badge she hates for Cait, even let Cait kill her own fucking sister (and only intervened when the random kid got involved). Why should I give a shit about such a one-sided relationship lmao. "B-but Cait's mom is dead so she's sad about it", every other fucking character in this show has dead parents. Half the cast has faced unfathomable amounts of trauma and pain that make Cait's pale in comparison. Nothing justifies her hitting Vi. "B-b-but it's a parallel to when Vi hit Powder", a shit parallel then. Because the circumstances are not even remotely comparable. "God forbid lesbians do anything🤪", give me a break with this corny bullshit. Be serious for a second. I'm not even a Vi fan and I think she deserves better than this mess of a relationship. The power dynamic between them makes it worse. The way Caitlyn is one of the richest people in the city and Vi is broke. The way Caitlyn is highly educated and Vi never went to school and spent her entire teen years locked in a box. Did the writers think about all this when writing their relationship? Keep in mind, Vi met Caitlyn like a week ago. She barely knows this chick. She's been out of prison FOR A WEEK. Where she was physically abused every fucking day. Putting her in a relationship with a cop who hits her would certainly be a choice! Do I have faith this show will handle it with care? Not really, no. They already ignore Vi's prison trauma. Most likely they will make Vi forgive Cait way too easily because "muh mummy muh grief".
#i could write essays on how much of a fumble vi's character is#her prison trauma. her reason for joining the enforcers. her relationship with jinx. so much potential for a rich character squandered.#will have to elaborate on another post#arcane#arcane league of legends#league of legends#arcane season 2#arcane netflix#vi#jinx#viktor#caitlyn#sevika#jayce#caitlyn kiramman#silco#arcane s2
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There are some blogs optimistic about Tommy back at some point, what are your thoughts about it?
I don't want to get too optimistic, because that's how we got ourselves here in the first place. Let's be honest. This was always a possibility and was even laid out as a possibility in the articles/interviews, we just chose to get too high on the hope. We were treating it as a sure thing and that was never the case. We duped ourselves a little on this one, and yes, I'm absolutely including myself.
Now, as many have pointed out (which I absolutely agree with) if you were to be completely oblivious about the articles and/or what they said, the breakup very much looks like it's open ended. It looks like something that's unresolved or meant to be resolved at a later date. They made it something that could be resolved. Something like moving away or wanting completely different things in life is a lot harder to work through and more definative. They clearly both want to be with each other. Tommy said he wanted to be Buck's last. He said he wouldn't be able to deal with the (what he thought was inevitable) heartbreak. You only get hurt that deep when you lose something you wanted that bad.
This is honestly the first time we ever heard Buck even utter the words "engaged" or "married" to any of his SOs. I do think it's something he wanted down the road, I just don't think he was there yet, and that's absolutely fine. The relationship was still very new. There was clearly a lot they didn't know about each other yet.
It was far too soon to make the commitment of moving in, and Tommy was just trying to stop things from getting any further before he got too deep (too late, me thinks.)
If you remove the clear bias of the journalists writing these "exit interviews" (is that even a thing in television?) they start to sound much like your run of the mill interview they do with every main after they have a major storyline play out on screen. Look at the direct quotes, not what the journalists are inferring for themselves.
All that being said, I'm not getting my hopes up, and I'm not planning on watching live again until I have a definite as to where the storyline is going, and if that takes until the final episode ever, so be it. I will get back to it eventually. Until then, I'll be keeping tabs on what's going on through Tumblr.
Now, this is just a little thought in my brain that has absolutely nothing to back it up whatsoever. I think maybe either Lou needed this break to get away from the bs and finish his role on SWAT, or they gave it to him and he's taking it.
We know he was surprised, but what he was surprised about was how soon it happened. Tells me that at least a temporary break was planned, just not until further down. Or maybe he only meant the disagreement.
We very much know Tim likes to plan out his story about 5 seconds in advance, there could be a tentative plan to maybe bring Tommy back down the road, say, after the midseason hiatus. Could even be the "project that may or may not be happening" that Lou had mentioned.
Buck is my favorite character, but I'm not interested in seeing him regress or go through the same storyline for the millionth time. If he doesn't at least try and fight for Tommy or talk things out with him, it's just more of the same season 5 Buck. I love 99% of the other characters too, but they also suffer from the Groundhog's Day writing and I'm just old and tired.
#one thing you can always count on me for is a long winded answer that you probably didn't want#but thanks all the same! i love interacting with y'all!#hope for the best but expect the worst basically#bucktommy#911 abc#tv shows#asked and answered#anon#and yes if we don't see some type of resolution one way or the other then that's just piss poor writing
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I made a post talking about this exact thing.
Tommy has been the only LI with real potential to be something good and lasting for Buck. Tommy is a first responder like Buck, so not only do they get each other on that fundamental level, but logistically for the writers it makes it far easier to incorporate Tommy into stories. Tommy already had a connection to the 118, Bucks life and family. Hell, for the first time we had Bobby outright approve of Tommy to Buck, saying he's good people. And hello? Tommy and Eddie are friends (though who knows how that will be handled now).
What I don't get is why go to all this trouble, bringing back and working on integrating Tommy, specifically, into Bucks life like they've never done with previous partners, if only to toss it aside out of the blue, and done for a poor reason?
Not every audience member is going to read interviews (ie do homework) to try and figure out what the hell is going on in the show. In the show we got an abrupt ending to a relationship that STILL gave signs that there is an open door. An open door for Tommy to possibly come back. Meaning, Tommy was scared and ran, but Buck could actually fight for this relationship and say no, he absolutely wants a lasting future with Tommy.
But the interviews, the homework, is showing us "nope, this is the end, and Buck just might sleep around now. stay tuned to find out!"
To add onto this and bring Eddie into the mix, well - Eddie has stated in canon that he's straight. I may be a multi-shipper, but I gotta say this gives veeery little hope of Buddie ever becoming canon. And you know what? Considering how Buck and Tommy were just handled/treated, I can't say I have much faith in how even a potential Buddie thing would even be handled.
While yes, we need to wait and see how things play out, but at the moment? What I'm seeing is one of Buck's greatest potential for a lasting and good relationship has been tossed aside, and... what? He's just going to go on dating someone new? Probably a whole new character we've never met, and we're supposed to care about this person when we've seen this exact movie multiple times now, in 8 seasons, and we're supposed to care and feel invested?
Like I'm really not trying to be a big downer, but gd these writers are giving me very little confidence in them. The just burned us badly, and again, it's season 8 and they still can't manage for whatever reason to allow Buck to finally settle down with someone, something he's wanted for 8 seasons, and just be happy. I just want Buck to be happy and settled, but right now these writers are refusing to let him, and that does confuse me and piss me off.
Tommy is seemingly gone for good, Eddie does not look likely to be a possible romantic partner for Buck, so. Why should I care about any future LI for Buck? Again, yes I want Buck to be happy, but holy shit.
i think my overall feeling after this episode was that i genuinely can’t care about any relationship buck gets into after this. like seriously, what is the point? this hamster wheel they said they were getting him off is still spinning and he’s not leaving it, he’s never gonna have any real relationships if they keep repeating the cycle of him finding someone, there being an issue and the relationship ending.
like. do i care about buck and his character development? obviously. but any girlfriend or boyfriend or love interest he gets, i’m not gonna even think about caring or getting invested. because seriously, what is the point. they had something amazing in tommy and it could have lead to some great storylines for buck and tommy and even the overall show, but it’ll never come to fruition now. because buck is apparently ‘still figuring himself out’ but he can date men as well as women. will that ever lead to a long lasting relationship? it’s doubtful. at least that’s what it seems like the writers want.
and don’t even getting me started on eddie.
#911 spoilers#911 wank#9-1-1#Evan Buckley#I basically just repeated what you said OP but yeah...#I'm so tired
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WRITE WITH ME!
I will start, and you can use the reblog to continue this story however you desire!
The One rule: You can't gender the Elf!Reader character.
If you need, add more warnings to your post!
OTP: Mairon (Sauron) x Elf!Reader
Universe: Rings of Power / Tolkien
Warnings: main character death, angst, blood, "you can fix him" plot;
Summary: You're the one who stole the Dark Lord's heart, yet you're dying in his arms.
A Forbidden Promise
"Don't go. I — I cannot follow you there. You can't go. You can't go." His voice was frenetic, desperate in a way the dark lord never sounded. How could he not be? You're dying in his arms, the only sweet touch, warmth, love he's ever known. And he will never be able to follow you to Mandos. "Please, I will never be able to go with you there, please."
His plea sounds like he wants to go tho. A begging, maybe the first time in more than two ages that Mairon of the Maiar actually regrets his choices. In you he found his perfection. And now he would lose it. Was that the vengeance of the Valar?
You raise your weak hand, resting it on this face. With your thumb you wipe one of the tears from his cheek. Even now he is as beautiful as the first time you saw each other.
"I — I will come back. For you, I will come back." Your voice is not much more than an whisper. Yet, somehow you make a disbelieving smile appears on his lips.
"Who would give up paradise for me? For Sauron?" The name disgust you as much as it disgust him, and your face probably shows it because he sighs. "If you're leaving me, at least leave saying the truth. It's too... cruel to say it. For I never hoped before."
That makes you give him a pity sad smile. Ignoring the pain, you do everything you can to raise yourself. He holds you tighter, his warmth is what you need to concentrate even when your vision starts to fade.
"Mairon, endanya¹. Hear the last words of the one who stole your heart." This make you see for one last time the sweet smile that he only ever directed to you. "As I promised once, I will never lie to you."
He presses his forehead against yours. For the last time you breathe the same air. "So I dare to command you, Mairon or whatever name you desire to hear now: learn to hope." I little cry escapes your lips, and you feel his hands tremble where he holds you, for a moment you lose your mind and all you can hear is the blood dripping. It's a shame, his always beautiful tunics will forever be stained within your blood now.
Even so, he won't stop holding you. So you do everything you can to reassure him again. He needs to understand, he must believe.
"Learn to hope." You mumble. "For I shall return to you."
You no longer can see or feel, your hand falling from his face is the first sign you went to the undying lands. But you were right. And Mairon, Sauron, does not let you go. He holds you tightly, in a crying so long it's impossible to believe that that destroyed and devastated being was once Morgoth's heir.
The grief is too much and, when he finally let you, there's no one to hear but the wind while he whispers:
"I — I'm yours to command, endanya. I will hear whatever name you call me. I will do whatever you wish. I will hope — I will hope for you."
A promise and a threat. Because in his soul he knows; you were the only one that could stop what's coming for Middle Earth. You were the only one that could stop him.
So now even the wind hopes. You need to return.
••••••••••••••••
Endanya¹ = if i did the word correctly it should be quenya for "my love/my soul", but in a deeper way of calling the one you love "your everything". In my mind, when Sauron says it he is also telling that the reader is his light.
#i read a reader x sauron devasting fic and decided to devaste more ppl xD#keep going with the story: will you return to him? will you stop what he is becoming?#slightly inspired by “what if lotr was an isekai and you had to rehabilitate sauron to survive”#sauron#mairon#annatar#x reader#reader insert#self insert#sauron x reader#annatar x reader#mairon x reader#i didn't describe much so anyone can decide when and where they are in the plot#i will probably keep writing too because it's fun#write with me#continue the story#rings of power#rop#the rings of power#lotr#trop#tolkien#halbrand
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I had a lot of things to say but I've seen the same points re-iterated so I don't see the need to throw my hat into that ring BUT a point I haven't seen talked about that profoundly bugs me! Spoilers ahoy
The Varric reveal and how it's a symptom of the writings, in my opinion, greatest flaw.
The writing of Veilguard expects you to care about characters without giving the CHARACTER a reason to care. The game assumes you the player care, which is usually the case, so they just skip the necessary build up for it to work in character.
Varric and Rook have no introduction to each other. We start the game, launched into "they're friends". Rook cares about Varric but I don't know why. I didn't get to see them be friends. It's like i got launched into Inquisition at Skyhold, with my character already knowing these characters and having developed a relationship with them.
I love RP, you guys know this, so I engage with the RP elements to the best of my ability, making a character and trying to approach from different angles. I just didn't feel like I got that opportunity. Rook was already there, they already have a task, an end goal. They're already part of the greater plot without me. Other characters remark on their personality and deeds.
Other games in the series have done this but at least you got a little grace period to get to know them or shortcuts regarding establishing their relationship like them being a sibling ; and the game didn't hinge so much on them. DAO didn't hinge on Shani. DA2 didn't hinge on the lost sibling. They were aspects of the story but they are a small fragment of the plot as a hole. Varric ends up being a MAJOR cog in the story that our character grapples with and it rings hollow because I never saw them show why they care for one another.
If anyone should be mad it should be the inquisitor! Or Isabella! Or Dorian! They KNEW varric, we were THERE for that. We SAW that! But none acknowledge it. No one says anything about how this impacted them. Varric and Dorian have LETTERS back and forth. MAEVARIS IS HIS COUSIN.
Characters that SHOULD care don't. Characters that should care less, care a lot. It feels like the game assumes that the player loves Varric, and moves on. And it does this with a lot of Characters. You don't get to talk to the characters as much in this game, ask their opinion, get to know them, become friends. It's implied this all happened off screen. The characters are nice to you at the start and they're nice to you at the end. I barely saw any disapproval. Rook is one of 3 flavors of nice, and thus the characters are never challenged. I know people are quite critical of DAI but you could get to know the characters views - you could ask everyone on how they view the circles, the templars etc. I feel like I don't know this about Veilguard characters. I don't know where they stand on really anything, outside of being "good people". My Inquisitor didn't end up being friends with everyone but the game left room for that. Some companions did NOT like each other at all and the game accepted that, every game did - the conflict was PART of it. But in Veilguard, everyone is holding hands by the power of friendship.
The game just assumes you all care for one another without earning it, and it feels sad to me, as an RPer. After everything is done I can't even go talk to them and ask what they're going to do now. How they're faring. It's fade to black, and once again, the development is off screen and I am not part of it.
#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#anyway i just really badly wsnted to like this and you saw how much effort i made into making violetta#and felt really dissapointed and sad.#at least daees story concluded in a way im satisfied#also do NOT bring up the brief davrin and lucanis spat that DOWS not count and lasted all of 2 cutscenes#so im just. sad. i wanted to have a nrw OC to draw and i loved her design and ideas i had. but now i just feel hollow and uninterested.
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What Are You Willing To Do?
Ch. 2: Date 1 Pt. 1
Note: Thank you so much for the love you all have been showing this story so far! Thank you for reading, and for the kinds messages I have received thus far! I love interacting and seeing your thoughts and comments so keep 'em coming. I want to take this time to remind you that these characters will be flawed. Rafe is....Rafe, but we love him anyway. And Milan is...someone who is compatible with Rafe. They won't always be the depiction of a healthy relationship, but this is fiction and fun. This chapter isn't too bad, but those who have read the snippet know how it's gonna get. Once again, I have songs for this ship so if anyone is interested in them let me know, and feel free to share some with me if you catch a vibe. Finally, let me know if you have any questions or comments. Other than that, I hope you enjoy. This one is a lot shorter than chapter 1, but it is a 2 parter, so don't hate me. Love ya! <3333
“Wait.”
Rafe pauses, loosening his grip on Milan’s hair and pulling back slightly, irritated that she’d stopped him just as their lips brushed and she breathed the smoke he’d just poured into her mouth between them. “What? What’s up?”
“I don’t,” She sighs, her cool breath on his face, eyes still shut as if she’s forcing herself to pause this moment between them. “I don’t just hook up with guys, you know? Maybe we could…I dunno.”
Oh. Oh. Rafe understands. He’d…he’d forgotten himself for a moment. This isn’t some touron stumbling onto the couch next to him, throwing herself at him. She wasn’t one of those gold digging bitches that tries to fuck him with faulty condoms in the bottom of her purse. She’s the kind of girl who has her own shit. She doesn’t need him for a come up. Or at least she doesn’t think she does.
He arrogantly thinks to himself that Milan hasn’t met a man like Rafe Cameron. He’s spent most of his life preparing, becoming the type of man that can run his family, keep them safe and comfortable. The type of son fathers are proud to have and the type of man women want to give a baby. That’s the man who he’s made himself be.
Rafe had been so focused, only allotting himself time for a little bit of fun once in a while, he’d forgotten that one day he might stumble across a girl that had the potential to be a woman. His woman.
He nods slowly, a small smile forming on his face as he pulls back more, releasing her head completely and smoothing his hand back onto her knee. “Nah, I get it. We should get to know each other a little better. How ‘bout you spend the day with me tomorrow?”
Milan perches herself up at that, back straightening even more as her face lights up. “Really? You wanna spend the day with me?”
Rafe rests his head back on the top of the couch, sweeping his thumb on her bottom lip before biting his own and nodding. “Yeah, I wanna show you a good time. Get you a little more comfortable with me so I can kiss those pretty lips of yours.”
Both sets.
“Okay, wait, I’m excited. You’re gonna be my first friend here.”
“Friend?” Rafe scoffs. “‘M’not gonna be your friend, Princess.”
“Well,” Milan shrugs, “Like, I don’t know what I could call you, you’re not my man-”
“Yet. Not your man yet.” He and the woman next to him share twin smiles and Rafe only becomes more invigorated by Milan’s eyeroll and shy grin. “Roll your eyes if you want to, I’m a determined guy.”
“Determined?”
“Yeah, like I know what I like, I work for what I want, so-”
“So what?” Milan giggles, “You…you want me? I should get ready or something?”
“Yeah.” Rafe says flippantly, as if he wasn’t essentially making a threat of courtship to a girl he’d just met like 12 hours before. He wasn’t quite sure what he’d fully wanted from her yet. But the need to have her was nagging at him. Maybe it was lust. She was hot, forbidden fruit for him. He could hear the curses Ward would spit at him now if he fucked around and ruined things with this girl, made an enemy of her dad. Maybe it was how sweet she seems. He’s always liked shiny, new things. When he was a kid, he had to have stuff before his friends did. Toys. Shoes. Stocks. Maybe he’s graduated to feeling that way about women.
Something about how he doesn’t want to look away. Something about the way she was smiling at him, how he’s talked to her the most, how in a room full of guys drooling over her, those big pretty eyes were locked on him. Rafe felt like he had to look into this weird feeling she’s been stirring in his chest since he’d seen her.
It’s what’s best for Milan anyway. None of the rest of these limp dick motherfuckers should have her. They’re not real men. Not like Rafe.
Milan hums as she removes the golden under eye patches from under her eyes, massaging in the serum they leave atop of her skin. Grimacing at a gust of damp wind from outside she pads against the marble floor of her bathroom and pushes the double doors leading to the patio attached closed. “Stupid, island humidity.” She pouts as she combs through her bob again, praying for no puffiness today.
The sky fights to brighten in the early morning. It’s 5:00 a.m. and Rafe Cameron was going to be picking her up in 30 minutes.
After the party last night Sarah had run over to her on the front lawn, hugging her tightly before declaring she was going home with John B. and offering for Milan to come with them. When she declines with a smile, the blonde fixes her brother with a glare, to which he’d returned with a middle finger, and stumbled off in her man’s arms.
Rafe drove Milan back to her house and parked them out front, eyes carefully rotating between staring at Milan sitting pretty in his passenger seat, and watching for a sign of her father at the door. He let her toy with his fingers as she fluttered her lashes at him and he described what he does throughout the day, Or, rather, what they’d be doing today.
When he’d mentioned picking her up after the gym Milan had jumped at the opportunity to go with him. She loved going to the gym every morning before she’d moved and she was happy to keep it going. And it wouldn’t hurt to see Rafe work out.
It was all she could think about. It’s not just his height. Even though he’s so…so tall. At least 6’2. Rafe is big. Muscle. Strength. Yesterday he’d basically hoisted her full weight into his truck with one arm. The preppy boy polo that he’d thrown on for their families hadn’t hidden anything and his tight crew neck that he wore to the party basically outlined everything for her.
She quite literally wanted him to throw her around like a ragdoll. Or let her climb him like a tree. Whatever, Rafe is hot.
He has an intense vibe, seemingly takes himself very seriously. But, Milan figures she could relax him. Loosen him up a little bit.
They were gonna have so much fun. Smiling at her own reflection in the mirror, Milan spritzes vanilla Sol de Janeiro and all but fucking skips down the steps and to the kitchen.
“Good morning, Miss Milan, you’re awake early. I just started prepping for breakfast, but I could make you a coffee while you wait.” The private chef that her parents had hired a couple years ago had made the move with them. They’d paid for her to come with them to Outer Banks and offered to increase her salary because…well…it wasn’t their nice home in Quebec that she was used to.
“No, thank you, Miss Ally.” Milan reaches over, stealing a newly washed strawberry and biting into it. “And my parents aren’t awake, right?”
“Of course not. You know your mother won’t roll out of bed until she smells the food cooking and your dad won’t come until I’ve had to warm it up twice. Why? Are you alright, honey?”
The younger woman nods, tossing the green stem into the trash and reaching for two travel cups. “Can you keep a secret? I have, like, a date today.”
“Like a date?”
“Yeah, with a guy. He’s really cute, and sweet. So,” Milan begins sifting matcha, smiling down at the cup and resting her cheek on her shoulder. “‘M’gonna hang out with him today.”
“Less than 48 hours and there’s a boy, huh? Atta girl.” Miss Ally passes Milan the vanilla protein powder. “You’ve been worried about the move, thinking it was a bad idea, and here you are making friends.”
“Mhm, hot ones. With blue eyes and dimples.”
“And where,” Ally nudges Milan out of the way as she pours the hot water into the travel mug, “am I supposed to tell your parents you are when you’re out with Mr. Blue Eyes and Dimples?”
“Touring the island.” She chirps.
“With who?”
“Just like…generally. They should be cool with it honestly, I just know they’re gonna make it weird, but like, he’s the son of Dad’s first friend here so he shouldn’t be mad. How come he gets a boyfriend and I don’t?”
“Oh, just say that to your parents, I’m sure they’ll go for it then.” Ally snorts, whisking the eggs as Milan seals the travel mugs, laughing to herself as the girl slides both of the pink cups to the end of the counter next to her gym bag.
When Rafe pulls up outside of the Cabot house, he texts Milan before hopping out of his truck and jogging up the cobblestone. He agreed not to ring the doorbell because her parents were awake but he’d be damned if he didn’t pick her up at the door.
As he stands on at the doorstep he adjusts the hat he has rested on his head and rocks on his feet impatiently. He isn’t waiting long. The door swings open and he’s immediately hit with the sweet smell of vanilla and soon after is met with the walking wet dream carrying the scent.
“Good morning!” Milan grins, tossing her arms around his neck, bouncing up into his arms. Rafe isn’t fucking stupid, he’s quick to catch her around the waist and squeeze, relishing in the feeling of her pressed against him.
“Morning, princess.” he murmurs into her hair, squeezing her again for good measure before placing her back on her feet. “You, uh, you always go to the gym in shit like that?”
“Shit like what? Stop.” she laughs as he snaps the elastic of her leggings.
“You just look good. That’s all I’m sayin’.” He chews the gum in his mouth and nudges her chin with his knuckle, mumbling, “Watch your mouth.”
“Yeah? Thank you.” she grins, looking away from him briefly. “I made…I made you something, like a gym drink or whatever.
“That’s cute sweetheart, what do you like me or somethin’?” Rafe snorts, choosing to ignore the fact that the travel mug she was pushing into his hands was bubble gum pink. He holds his hand out to her, not even looking back as he starts guiding her over to his truck. When he hears a little shuffle from her he looks back and glances down at her feet. “What the fuck, your shoes aren’t tied.”
“Okay, one of them untied when I was making you this delicious protein shake and I didn’t wanna make you wait-”
“Christ.” Rafe grunts, unlocking his car and wrenching the door open, planting his hands on Milan’s waist and hoisting her into the seat easily. He tugs her foot onto his lap and begins tying the lace of her sneaker tightly. “Gonna break your fuckin’ neck.”
“I wasn’t gonna fall, Rafe-”
“You literally were letting me drag you down those steps.” When he’s done Rafe lifts her leg into the car, closing the door and walking around the driver’s side and climbing in. After he clicks his seatbelt on, he pauses and frowns when he sees Milan’s pout staring forward at the road. He puffs out a breath. “What? What’s wrong?”
“You haven’t said ‘thank you’. For your drink.”
“Wh-are you serious?”
“Yes. You seriously haven’t said ‘thank you.’”
“Uh…” Rafe’s brows furrow as he observes the girl. Arms crossed, dramatic frown on her pretty, glossed lips, knees pointed away from him. “Th-thank you.”
“You’re welcome!” she immediately warms up, clicking her own seatbelt on and taking a sip of her drink, moving back to the middle of her seat. As Rafe tries to sort through what quick, guerilla warfare he’d just experienced, he starts driving the car.
So that’s her game. She’s cute and pretty and pouts like a fuckin’ brat when she doesn’t feel like she’s getting what she wants. Or someone is saying something she doesn’t wanna hear. All she’s showing me is that I’m exactly what she needs.
“M’just sayin’ like your shirt’s a little slutty. Like it’s tight, I can see your nipples and everything.”
“Don’t say shit like that, what the fuck?”
“It’s like tight and stuff, like it’s a little bit of a hoochie shirt.”
“Hoo-hoochie shirt. Fuckin’ brat.” Rafe shakes his head. In the time it’s taken to drive to the gym and for Rafe to put his card down to get Milan a temporary membership, she’d clearly been trying to test him. She was pushing boundaries to see what he would and wouldn’t accept. And he would try to be patient. But the jokes weren’t gonna be as funny when he was using her mouth for what he really wanted to use it for. Not now. He had to wait. To humor her. She was cute. He’d give her that. Maybe he needed to be cute back. “Don’t work out in the damn shirt anyway,”
Milan’s eyes widen as she stares up at Rafe from where she’s stretching on the floor. She bites her lip and shifts her gaze to herself in the mirror as he easily tugs the tight shirt off of his chiseled muscles, tossing it into his gym bag next to her.
Jesus. She bites her lip, berating herself inwardly as she glances at the tanned skin he was now baring for the world to see, six pack on display as he starts doing some standing stretches. “Here, sweetheart.” Rafe crouches next to her, pushing one of his airpods into her ear. “You, uh, didn’t have headphones, so you can just listen to my shit.”
“Can we make a spotify jam?”
“What?”
“So, I can add songs too, can we make a jam? And we’d be listening to the same thing, at the same time, you know?”
“I mean, yeah, sure why the fuck not? You’re not gonna add any corny shit are you? M’trustin’ you with my workout. Like that’s pretty fuckin’ special.”
“Oh my God, Rafe, I’m…I’m sure we have basically the same taste in music.”
Rafe and Milan are at war for essentially their whole warm up. They agree to separate for cardio and then meet back up for them both to try some of each other’s usual workouts. With the shared music blasting in their ears, they both still felt like they were hanging out for the 40 minutes that they are apart. Rafe spent half of his run on the treadmill listening to Beyoncé and Sabrina Carpenter’s discographies while Milan genuinely flinched on the stairmaster with Travis Scott and 50 Cent pounding against her ear drums. Both of them looking at each other with sick satisfaction when it was their turn to pick a song, making a game out of picking something they thought would irritate the other more.
Rafe had finally had enough and started skipping Milan’s picks when the High School Musical Soundtrack started playing, eventually coming to pluck her off of her machine to start doing weights as Troy began singing about wanting his own dream.
By now they’d both finished their protein shakes and felt like they had a lot of energy. Well, at least they both did. Until Rafe started making Milan do his workouts.
She was both turned on and enraged as he demonstrates different forms of weightlifting, chuckling at her deeply as she struggles to do another set. “Mmkay, okay, that’s enough, I’m done with that.”
“Nah, you didn’t even finish that one, c’mon let’s go.”
“Rafe, no” she whines getting off of the bench. Milan immediately gasps as Rafe fists the fabric at the front of her leggings, lifting her off of her feet and physically placing her back onto the equipment.
Slapping her thigh, he offers her a no-nonsense look that lets her know that she isn’t getting up until she completes this workout to his satisfaction. “Baby, let’s go, stop fuckin’ around.”
Shit. Yes sir. “I want…breakfast food after this. Like, waffles, and butter and stuff.”
“'Let me come to the gym with you, Rafe. I wanna where my cute little outfit and not workout.'”
“Asshole.”
“Watch your mouth.”
“Wait…until we start doing my pilates workout. All those muscles will mean…nothing.”
“Yeah, you like ‘em?” He smirks, grabbing the weight to ease it down against her before helping her off. “That your excuse? Can’t focus?”
“Stop…being mean, worst date ever.” She whines, leaning her head against his chest.
Rafe pats Milan’s ass twice before nudging her into the direction of the next machine. "Best fuckin' date of your life, brat."
“Are you gonna keep staring at my butt or are you gonna try again?” Milan calls over to Rafe.
“My body is not built for that girly shit. You keep goin’ though.” He says. Milan rolls her eyes and continues on the machine, pausing when she sees the reflection of a camera flash in the mirror. “Damn, flash was on.”
“Rafe!”
“You look good, baby. I thought you’d like me to be all sentimental and shit, capture our first date.”
“Oh my God. You’re like, not even working out at this point.”
He shrugs, tilting his head to get a better view of her. “You’re the one who got an attitude when that girl asked me to spot her and made us change floors.
“She saw you with me.” Milan hisses through her teeth, pausing her movements. “She was trying to be funny.”
“Think so?” Rafe scoffs, squirting water into his mouth from the bottle he’d kept in his bag.
“Yeah, but if you liked the attention you could go back down.”
Rafe wets his bottom lip at that. Being at the gym with Milan has been fun. Turns out, he likes talking to her, which is more than what he could say for the majority of the population. She’s sexy, and doesn’t mind him being handsy. She seemed to all but expect him to pat her ass in encouragement after she finishes anything. She likes for him to teach her, guide her movements, place her on and off of machines. She likes to whine and have him sort her out. And she’s possessive. Jealous. Normally the concept of having someone police him sounds emasculating and unacceptable to Rafe. But watching her pretty little face turn into a scowl as she watched girls check him out or come up to him like they always did in the gym? It turned him on bad.
She matched his crazy. It didn’t matter that it was their first date, the same way Rafe’s lip curled in disgust as he caught the fuckheads wandering the gym eyeing her before he stepped in their line of vision, Milan would physically place herself in front of his view, guiding his eyes to her and away from any girl delusional enough to think they were as bad as her.
But her mouth when she’s frustrated. That was something Rafe was gonna have to work on. Lucky for the both of them, a stern warning seemed to be enough for now. Rafe stalks over to where she’s sitting, stepping on the machine behind her and wrapping his hand loosely around her neck, pushing the back of her head to rest on the front of his stomach. Milan looks up at him through her lashes, as he pushes his thumb into her cheek, encouraging her to open her mouth and squirting a little water in from his water bottle. He fixes her with a disapproving look. “Chill out. I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yeah.”
“I followed you up here, right?”
“Yeah.” she says softly, leaning into his hand.
“Alright then. Let’s not worry about the wrong things.”
After 3 hours at the gym the two of them hit the showers, separately despite both of their hesitation to separate again. They walk out of the building in different clothes and Rafe’s arm strewn over Milan’s shoulder, holding her hand where it came up to meet his own. He has to hide his smirk when he catches her making eye contact with the girl who’d asked Rafe to spot her as they walked out, a bright smile on her face.
He was starting to like this pretty little thing more and more. Rafe lifts her back into the car, this time buckling her seatbelt for her before getting into the driver’s side. He finds that Milan can talk…a lot. She has jumped from topic to topic in the 15 minute drive more than Rafe thinks he can in 2 hours. He’s surprised to find he doesn’t find her annoying. Rafe finds his cheeks dimpling as he listens to her yap about her favorite tv shows, a movie she wants him to watch, her plans for her next nails set and thinking about getting highlights in her hair.
All the while she rubs his bicep, leaning into him as he holds her thigh in his large hand. He offers her small mumbles of acknowledgement to let her know he’s still listening. ‘Hm.’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘Sound’s good, baby.’
“You’re not listening to me.” she sighs, looking out the window as they pull into the restaurant. “M’talkin’ too much.”
“Nah, I like that shit. I’d let you know if I’d had enough.” Rafe places his hand on the back of her headrest as he backs into the spot. “But, uh, my head’s always movin’ right? I’m thinkin’ while I listen.”
Milan watches as he shifts gears and places his truck in the middle of two spots, declaring under his breath he doesn’t want anyone ‘fuckin’ up his truck’ to justify taking up two spots. “So…okay. What’re you, like, thinking about? While you’re listening to me.”
“Uh, honestly?” He asks. Intense blue eyes rest on soft brown ones. Milan just nods, turning more toward him. “How fuckin’ hot you are. Pretty fuckin’ distracting.”
“Oh.” She says.
“Yeah. Oh. Does that throw you off or something, like, oh is a weird response-”
“No, I was just saying oh, like-”
“Okay, because, I’m being pretty fuckin’ clear and you’re-”
Milan unclips her seatbelt quickly. Before Rafe can blink her soft lips are pressed against his and before he can kiss her back she’s back in her seat, pulling down the mirror and fumbling in her purse for her lipgloss. “I wasn’t supposed to kiss you until our first date was over. I can’t believe I did that. Oh my God.” Rafe chuckles lowly as she fumbles in her purse, dropping it and spilling its contents all over her lap and the floor of the car. “Oh my God.”
“Did you, uh,” He pauses, trying not to openly bark out a laugh at her, scratching his head. “Did you only bring lip gloss and perfume? Like, no wallet. At all.”
“Okay…” Milan starts slowly, “I understand that looks bad, and like, people believe in that 50-50 stuff now, and so I shouldn’t-”
“Baby, the fuck do I look like? I wouldn’t be taking you out if I couldn’t afford to, I’m not a fuckin’ pogue.”
“A what?”
“Don’t worry about it. And don’t worry about that fuckin’ peck, that wasn’t a real kiss.” It shocks her how easy it is for Rafe to scoot his chair back and pull her into his lap. “This is the shit you should worry about.”
Rafe Cameron pulls Milan Cabot into the nastiest kiss that either of them had ever fantasized about, let alone experienced. He holds her jaw, working his own open as he pushes his tongue into her mouth, swallowing her whimpers and humming against her. He separates their mouths briefly to kiss down her neck only to drag back up to her lips, chuckling darkly when she sucks his bottom lip into her mouth, gripping her thigh with his free hand as he drools into her open mouth.
When he pulls away for the final time he rests his head back on the headrest, pushing his thumb into her mouth and releasing a breath as he watches her obediently suck on it.
By the time they step out of the car to head into the nice breakfast restaurant he’d brought her to, Rafe had willed his…friend to go down, and they had undone the damage he’d done to Milan’s makeup and hair. As he guided her in by the waist, tugging down the hem of her pretty little dress to cover the ass he’d just been gripping he felt a feeling of superiority. The woman next to him was relying on him and him alone to lead her around. All the loser fuckers they passed on the way to their table could stare all they wanted. They could take a mental picture and store it away in their sick little spank banks for later until they came to the realization they’d never get a girl like Milan and finally blew their fucking brains out. But she was here with Rafe. And that’s how he expected it to be from here on out.
He’d decided. She was gonna be his.
#oc#love#obx#outerbanks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe x reader#romance#rafe cameron#rafe x you#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe outer banks#rafe obx#rafe x oc#rafe cameron x oc#milan cabot#what are you willing to do?
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KNY Fandom so fucking insufferable I'm gonna start behaving like those GiyuShino and SaneKana shippers and go around spreading misinformation and say "no you don't get it SaneGiyuu was implied!!!" /j
because I'd actually have more content to mention without even mischaracterizing them
wanna talk about how they're a two-faced mirror? almost as if they were written to parallel each other and there's so much to talk about on this matter
or, since not everyone in this Fandom can dive into analysis, wanna mention how Shinobu figured Sanemi could've made Giyuu smile by inviting him to eat his fav dish with him? why not ask him directly instead? why Sanemi out of all people?
wanna mention Sanemi's pseudo-obsession on that man? he disliked his ass, but if we go back to analysis, his intolerance to someone feeling superior can be tied to a multitude of factors and one of which is being low-key reminded of himself, and he loathes himself while at the same time he puts on that strong façade. he can't face it though. and he wanted to understand why Giyuu felt that way SO BADLY he went to him for training and tried to speak with him, he wanted a contact, he wanted to understand, he needed Giyuu to speak up but he didn't.
on the other hand don't we wanna talk about Giyuu's perspective? Giyuu never hated him nor did he really feel sad knowing he disliked him, contrary to how he felt towards Obanai. not to mention he even got to be sarcastic towards Sanemi's dumb ass at least twice.
and the iconic ohagi scene? idk about y'all but between the hashira I think that's THE iconic scene, alongside Giyuu and Shinobu beefing and Shinobu almost stabbing him (don't get me wrong platonic GiyuShino has my whole heart)
the first time we saw Giyuu smile in the series is while imagining to befriend Sanemi??? and out of everyone he chose Sanemi? the hashira who is canonically the most difficult to talk with?😭 he only ever smiled either for food, for Sanemi or Tanjiro
oh and let's not talk about how Tanjiro, after getting knocked up, wakes up and the first thing Giyuu says is "yeah Shinazugawa left" ..? or the whole novel chapter in which they end up talking about him (supposedly right after that scene in the manga) and Giyuu cheered up. what
anyways, likewise, the first time Sanemi was seen smiling genuinely outside of his family was with Giyuu. Obanai and especially Masachika were both closer to him, not to mention the most important person in his life, Genya...yet here we are ig?? (after Giyuu he also smiled more in general, the scene of him smiling at Nezuko was one of my fav panels ever so keep in mind I'm taking in consideration the chronological events and not the impact of the scenes per se)
or let's talk about the most important part in their development which is when they fought together.
Sanemi saving him, telling him not to zone out while throwing the sword at him, it made Giyuu realize he's the water hashira, it was the first time Giyuu acknowledged it. Sanemi influenced Giyuu's character positively, and so far Tanjiro was the only other one who managed to. Sanemi saw him as his ally (rightfully so), and hopefully seeing him fight also made him realize he wasn't that much of a conceited guy, he was just like him, as he initially wanted Giyuu to understand (despite the fact it was a miscommunication)
Sanemi teaming up with Giyuu out of everyone, in such an impactful panel.... idk, if it was a straight ship that would've felt like a confession for the Fandom 💀
they impacted each other's character, they were the only two hashira surviving after facing the same war, they faced similar struggles during their lives (but let's not get into analysis, once again...), they could've understood each other better than anyone else would ever have, and they ended up bonding and eating together
that panel was there, in the middle of other panels all portraying important bonds, whether canon romantic bonds or platonic and sibling-like ones (Tanjiro and Nezuko, the Kamaboko squad, the swordsmiths etc.)
if it wasn't important it wouldn't have been there, but the funniest thing is that if either of them was a woman it would've been considered canon since it also included TanKana, ZenNezu and InoAoi🙏🏻
but oh, if we try to name either of these things and more, people will rightfully say "can't they be friends anymore?", which is valid, but I wonder why this doesn't apply to equally fanon straight ships.
a show so peak has so many fans that are so dense😭😭😭
#kny#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#sanegiyuu#giyuusane#sanemi x giyuu#kny ships#sanemi#giyuu#sanemi shinazugawa#giyuu tomioka#toxic shippers#i hate y'all sm#platonic sanekana#platonic giyushino#they're just so peak#am i talking about sanegiyuu or about platonic giyushino and platonic sanekana?#the answer is both#I need more m/f friendships in media bc I can't take this shit anymore
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Devil's Night | Bad Omens
adult content | minors do NOT interact.
One day I woke up and wanted to be chased to the sound of Milagre.
⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Bad Omens X Female!Reader.
⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. It's devil's night and you've been invited to play. If you don't get caught by them, you win..
⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). Foul language, alcohol consumption, masked men, stalking, reverse harem, why choose, taking turns, explicit sex, fear games, submission.
It's okay to not agree with the characters' attitudes during the fic. It's good to remember that the story is fiction from the author's sick mind and of course they will make dubious decisions according to my fantasies. Nothing is done to be compared to reality.
Devil’s Night.
The first time she heard those words, thought it was just another excuse for parties and excess, but here, in Detroit, it’s different. People speak of this night as if it were a tradition, passed down from generation to generation, almost like a silent pact that no one dares to question.
Yes, it’s Halloween Eve, but it carries a taste of danger that goes beyond costumes and carved pumpkins. It’s not about trick-or-treating; it’s more like… a rite of passage, where each person lets their dark side surface, testing their own limits and those of others. And the entire city, somehow, agrees to turn a blind eye to what happens in the shadows.
In the alleys and empty hallways, you can feel something waiting, hidden between the walls and beneath the fog that stubbornly refuses to lift. The seniors, of course, love it. They create challenges, make absurd promises to the freshmen, as if they’re initiating them into some ancient secret. But it’s not a secret; it’s more like a warning.
I don’t know exactly who started it—maybe some group many years ago, looking for a way to release their frustrations, or perhaps the city already came with this curse built in. But, either way, everyone participates, whether in the role of the observers or those who get lost in the night.
You were about to leave home, dressed up for another Devil’s Night in Detroit. Your friends had invited you over to drink a little before heading to the Lions' party, the fraternity responsible for the highest concentration of players that night. At first, you were ready to turn down the invitation, wanting to go straight to the celebration and get it over with once and for all, but seeing the flyer advertising the Geordin’s pub attraction made you change your mind.
Bad Omens was the main act in an intimate show, and you felt a bit excited to know they were back in town. It had been a while since you last saw them—if you weren’t mistaken, on the last Devil’s Night.
"Don’t tell me you’re not even a little excited to see him again…" Ash nudged your ribs with a playful voice, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"They’ve grown so much since the last time I saw them, Ash. They definitely have no idea who I am."
"And what if I told you that’s not exactly true?" Ashley’s glittering eyes blinked behind her long lashes as if she had some valuable information. She rested her hands and phone under her chin while watching you finish getting ready in the mirror. "I messaged Steve; we chat sometimes, and when he told me he’d be in town, I didn’t fail to mention your name…"
"I can’t believe you did that!"
"I scored us four VIPs tonight thanks to my shamelessness. No need to thank me, babe!" Ash winked and blew a kiss at her own shoulder, ignoring when you rolled your eyes at her boldness.
You didn’t want to admit it, but a strange sensation was building up in your stomach, making you feel cold with every step you took out the door. According to your friends, you looked good enough to draw a crowd to your feet, and deep down, you hoped they were right.
Geordin’s was, as always, sweltering, packed, and filled with people dressed up in Halloween costumes. You were just in a short black dress and heavy makeup—this date was special, a night for vixens to leave their homes in their smallest outfits, best heels, and bold eyes to be, for one night, what they longed to be all year.
At the bar, you grabbed a drink and walked with your friends to the VIP area near the stage. With each minute closer to the performance, your stomach grew colder, while your friends chatted excitedly beside you, never quieting for a moment. It had been a long time since you last saw him, and you tried your best not to expect him to remember any fragment of the past Devil’s Night.
“Welcome to the show of bad omens, my friends,” said the recorded voice from the speakers, making the crowd go wild.
The lights went out, and your body froze in place as the intro to the first song began. His voice was still unmistakable and unique, pleasing to the ear, even live, weaving together with the guitar and drum solos as if they were one.
When you turned to the stage, Noah was gripping the microphone with his eyes closed, and you allowed yourself to take in the melody, singing along with all your heart as you remembered why this was your favorite band. At the end of the third song, he glanced over the crowd as if looking for something, seeming about to give up, until his eyes finally landed on you.
A jolt of electricity surged from your legs, coursing through your entire body. Noah gave a brief smile and bowed his head, waiting for the next song’s intro. You knew the setlist, and this wasn’t one of the songs played at previous shows. In fact, you recognized it instantly; it was your favorite track.
Careful What You Wish For hadn’t been played in recent shows, but he knew how much that song meant to you, and he’d included it in Detroit just to show that he did, indeed, remember you. Something damp threatened to pool in your tear ducts; this song reminded you of moments you’d rather forget, moments the band had made more bearable to face.
As the final song ended, the lights went out, and the guys left the stage to the applause of the crowd. Your heart was still racing from the mix of emotions caused not only by the show, but by the series of subtle glances he had thrown your way during the pauses between songs. You bit your lip gently, gripping your glass a bit tighter, wondering if it could be a sign.
But you quickly brushed off that foolish thought and shook your head, dismissing it.
You and your friends finally arrived at the fraternity party, and all of you, including yourself, were buzzing with excitement to start the real celebration. Everyone was in costume, music was blasting, the smell of marijuana filled the air, and alcohol was flowing freely.
It seemed like the perfect night.
“I wouldn’t recommend drinking too much,” Ash warned, pointing at your glass as you sipped the colorful drink through a straw. “The games start in a few minutes, and you won’t want to be throwing up during the hunt.”
You laughed, remembering what happened last year when you mixed a few drinks with cheesy snacks, resulting in a puddle of vomit that took you home before you even considered playing the traditional hunt.
Every year on Devil’s Night, the Lions held a hunt in the Shadow Woods. The game involved all the guests being released into the forest, blindly searching to capture as many targets as they could until they reached the other side. With no flashlights or any source of light, identifying anyone became nearly impossible as everyone wore masks to hide their faces.
A certain chill lingered in your stomach, and a tremor in your legs threatened to shake your confidence, but you preferred to think it was because of the drink, not the fear of who your potential hunter might be. Your mind raced through quick strategies to avoid being caught, though not knowing the Shadow Woods at night made it all the more difficult.
With your feet firm on the earthy ground, you were as ready as the other competitors. You looked around, feeling adrenaline pulse through your veins, filling your brain like a song made to build tension until reaching its peak. You felt ready for whatever the night had to offer.
The whistle blew.
Your legs pushed you forward, running as fast as you could, straining your vision to dodge trees and jump over branches. You listened closely to the sound of dry leaves and twigs that snapped underfoot as the predators ran. All of them were desperate, hungry in their hunt for prey. At the same time, it felt frightening; it was exhilarating enough to make you push for more speed.
Energized, you glanced over your shoulder now and then, trying to detect any approaching threat, but as you pressed on, you heard fewer footsteps. Breathless, you slowed down and marked the trees with your fingers as you continued to walk carefully.
Your steps froze in place when you suddenly heard heavy breathing. The footsteps behind you moved over the dry leaves, signaling that your hunter was approaching stealthily, like a snake. Slowly, you realized your feet didn’t obey the commands in your head—they wanted to keep running, but your body remained there, unmoving.
He knew there was no point in running. He knew you were lost. He knew you didn’t want to go anywhere.
“Good girl.” His voice whispered close to your ear, making you jump in shock. “You didn’t let anyone else catch you. You waited for us like a good girl.”
“She knew that no matter where she hid tonight, we’d find her.”
“We always find you…”
Through your peripheral vision, you counted all four of them, gathered in balaclavas, closing off any way out. Swallowing dryly, you felt your breathing falter as they each took a step closer, forming a claustrophobic barrier around you.
“Now you’re ours.” Noah’s voice echoed in your ear as you felt the fabric of his balaclava graze your cheek. “Once you lose the game, you become our prize.”
A brief jolt made you sit upright when you felt something wrapping around your wrists; he was tying your hands together with a rope. The remaining length of material was used to fasten another knot around your neck, this time slightly tighter.
In your mind, there was no room for doubt, because you remembered the main rule of Devil’s Night. You were free to make your desires real for one night.
Why not surrender to them?
Slowly, Noah pulled you along the length of the leash, and stumbling a little in your own steps, you followed him. He exuded a scent of sweat mixed with Savage cologne; his arms were exposed by the black tank top, and he wore cargo pants and boots. Each determined step he took made you tense up, fearing what was to come, and the walls in the form of men surrounding you added to your apprehension.
Your steps halted when the tall man pulling your collar from the front froze in place. The forest offered little light, and thanks to the moonlight filtering through the gaps in the trees, you could see the intricate tattoo designs on his back, partly covered by his tank top.
A breath, subtle but present, brushed your ears with warm breath from behind.
"How about a game?" Folio’s voice was so soft it seemed to dance at a unique frequency. "We’ll ask a question, and for each wrong answer, you lose a piece of clothing."
"A game is only interesting to me if both parties are involved. In that case, what do I get if I’m right?" You dared to respond, challenging him with a side glance.
"Don’t act as if you don’t like the idea of not being in control for a few hours…" Folio taunted, stepping closer with a deadly step. His body was too close this time. "All you desire is for the reins to be in someone else's hands, just for one night, someone who knows your dirty mind well enough so you don’t have to spell out what you need. Am I wrong?"
You weren’t afraid of anything and made a point to shake your head in defiance.
"Wrong answer."
"Not at all!" you contested without much conviction. Deep down, defying him and contradicting yourself with feigned reluctance was part of your game.
The cold wind touched your back just as one of their fingers slid the zipper of your dress down, exposing your bare skin. Slowly, you felt the fabric glide down your body, leaving a trail of goosebumps wherever it passed.
You shrank a little, feeling a hint of discomfort when you noticed several pairs of eyes observing your exposed form, but a tug on the leash immediately made you lift your chin.
"Don’t you dare lower your head, darling" another voice murmured as a finger traced along your chin, the wetness of a tongue brushing against the skin of your ear. "Not when you have a body like this. We can savor you without even touching. Consider yourself a goddess, displayed for adoration and worship."
Gently, he slid his hand from your chin to reach your cold-stiffened nipples, slow circular movements warming your thighs as Jolly’s voice stimulated you, his hands exploring your body without any rush.
They wanted you to surrender.
Indeed, you were already theirs.
For just one night, you belonged to them.
In front of you, Noah watched you with a tilted head, as if watching an intimate moment of pleasure was amusing to him. He wrapped the excess of the leash around his hands until it tightened, lifting your neck up toward him.
In one last visceral glance, Noah pressed his lips against yours.
A fierce kiss, charged with desire pent up since the last visit, filling every corner of your mouth, leaving you wanting for absolutely nothing. Between breaths, you let out a contained, low moan as those hands moved from your chest down to your hips.
His fingers, when they found your entrance, sent a current of electricity through the rest of your body. Jolly was warm and soft as a rose petal, he tortured you with the slowness of his synchronized movements on your clitoris and during the kiss you held Noah's lips between your teeth gasping a heavy moan.
Noah smiled, feeling how his body twitched in his friend's hands, he released his lips and dragged them down his face, allowing his moan to reverberate through his ears more clearly.
Just when you were about to give signs that you were going to collapse under Jolly's fingers they suddenly stopped. You panted and wanted to show that you were disappointed, but you didn't have time, Noah pulled you by the collar and turned you so that you were facing away from him. A quick scream escaped your lips at the surprise of the impact of your hips against his, you felt his bulge harden and let out some air through your nose.
A soft hand ran its thumb over her face, a caress similar to the one she felt on her ass as Noah explored her. At the same time they used their thumbs, Noah lifted your dress until you were completely exposed to prepare you, he dipped his fingers in your wetness and seemed to delight in it. Their eyes were fixed on the man before them, gently brushing strands of hair away from his face and lifting his chin.
“Good girl, good girl.” he whispered, sliding his thumb into your mouth, without breaking eye contact, you sucked his finger slowly until you reached the tip.
You watched as Folio grunted and finished sliding his cock into his free hand and bringing it closer to your face, passing it across your lips slowly. You moaned from containing the desire to take him in at once, and from having Noah playing with his head at your entrance in rotating movements. Little by little you relaxed and used your tongue to greet him and a smile formed on your lips when you saw him sigh once again.
Folio grabbed your hair with a little force and demonstrating that the provocation had made him lose his mind, he shoved his dick into your mouth at the same time as Noah entered you. Your screams were silenced by Folio's cock, you used your tongue to drool all over the compliment and without the help of your hands that were trapped you covered his head with the roof of your mouth. As you sucked him, you felt Noah bump his hips against yours in strong thrusts, pulling the collar from your neck each time he penetrated and stopped with his rigid member inside you.
Your legs shook from the force he used, you pressed him against the walls of your pussy and heard him mutter yet another curse due to the lack of space. Her head didn't stop for a single second, going down and up, sucking Folio's cock while he helped her with his hand in her hair.
With each of Noah's thrusts, you felt Folio's cock tear into your throat and you dedicated yourself to not leaving a single space without the contact of your tongue. He pressed your head down more and you enjoyed the taste of the skin trying to contain the entire volume. Noah grew harder and harder inside you and in an explosion of sensations for a few seconds your legs seemed to float.
This was the effect of the devil’s night.
It allowed you to fulfill even your darkest fantasy.
For one night.
#bad omens#noah sebastian#bad omens band#bad omens fanfiction#fan fiction#bad omens fic#fanfic#noah sebastian davies#noah sebastian fan fiction#noah sebastian fanfic#noah sebastian smut#noah sebastian fic#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian bad omens#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian davis#bad omens fanfic#bad omens fan fic#smut fan fiction#fanfic writing#fan fic writing#smut#dark romance#devils night#Spotify
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I got to Weisshaupt.
I've decided to ignore the whole 'we're killing off all grey warden characters' bit, because I've decided that Loghain is elsewhere and, as previously established, he's the only grey warden that matters to me. This game never asked if I recruited him, nevermind if he's alive, so what is it going to do? I shall assume he's in Ferelden regardless of what the First Warden has to say, feeling regrettably justified in his previous atrocious choices now that Denerim has proven to be as indefensible as he said it was.
Anyway, I punched the First Warden and was informed via pop-up that I'd made a serious enemy. Hooray! He then went and died maybe fifteen minutes later. Not by my hand either. Just... splat. Ok then. Why even bother with the pop-up?
This was followed by ten seconds of conflict in the group. I was delighted. Finally! Davrin implying that Lucanis can't be trusted because of the demon! Lucanis firing back that they can't trust Davrin because of the blight! Whoo!
And then...
Oh, we're just... dropping it? Kissing and making up at once?
Fine.
Why is this game so scared of conflict between allies?
Scratch that - why is this game so scared?
It won't portray racism, slavery, etc despite us venturing into Tevinter at long last. This was supposed to be slavery central. I've seen a slum and executions but that's all. It won't give our companions actual flaws. It won't let them be angry at each other for more than a couple of minutes. The Dalish can't flock to the gods because then we need to actually examine the fact that we made a people's gods into the villains and what that says about our attitude towards the Dalish (and how they constantly get screwed over every game). We want qunari enemies but we don't want to make all qunari into villains so it's just the antaam. You can play a qunari but not a qunari. Dwarven casts? Don't know what you're talking about. Everything Zevran told us about the crows is gone because we want them to be plucky heroes. It won't even give us villains with reasonable motives because heaven forbid that we feel sympathy for them.
And holy fuck the therapy talk. It's killing me. But we wouldn't want to say something offensive or be unsupportive. It's a fantasy world, but don't you worry, we're all very progressive and knowledgeable here.
This game has no teeth and it's terrified that you'd think it does even for a second.
#dragon age veilguard spoilers#veilguard critical#how can you expect me to love these characters when they don't even have a bark never mind a bite?#but thanks Veilguard nice of you to confirm that Loghain was right about Denerim#I'll be sure to bring it up next time I have to defend his horrible actions#Loghain was right - prove me wrong etc
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Doesn't this also apply, maybe more, to Daenerys who does know about and engages with some prophecies but ignores it in favor of staying in Meereen dealing with the administration of a city state including but not limited to building irrigation canals, agriculture, trade and taxation, justice, an insurgency, famine and a possible pandemic.
It's interesting with Dany because she connects power and queenship with administration and ruling for the people, as in - 'If I want to be queen then I need to get down and dirty and work for the people'.
Yes, there are parallels here with Daenerys and Jon Snow in terms of their administrative arcs as leaders and Jon's ADwD arc is basically him going around from chapter to chapter engaged in rebuilding the Wall.
However, Jon doesn't really give a shit about the TPTWP because no one is telling him that he's the chosen one with a magical sword. That's Stannis. As readers we know about his parentage and that he may have connections to prophecy - he doesn't.
There's also the difference in religions. Melisandre thinks that swearing oaths in front of the Old Gods is like swearing before a shoe. Jon thinks this whole PTWP/Azor Ahai stuff is Lord of Light business. This difference in thinking is why Stannis/Melisandre don't get Jon as Lord of Winterfell because of preconditions like burning down the Winterfell Godswood and converting to the Lord of Light. Jon would have never done that.
As to your other points:
Like, very explicitly, everything that happens to him drives him to recognise the arbitrariness and incapacity of the cultural-political status quo in westeros. Like, it's not a 'revolution' in any sense, but rejecting radical change is the one thing you don't have the chance or the right to do when winter is coming. Both the most typically-heroic POV characters do this lol
I think it's more that Jon recognizes that he has to work with the cultural-political status quo to get things done.
He is only able to enact reform and change because he is Lord Commander. Imagine if Janos Slynt, Cotter Pyke or the old Denys Mallister won the election? Jon would just have to take orders from the likes of Slynt.
He is trying to integrate the Freefolk into the NW and the North - for example the marriage of Alys Karstark and the Magnar of Thenn. But for this to work he needs the support of some of the great houses of the North - like the Umbers. To get that support he needs to work within the system to try and change in some small way the status quo. The Freefolk would have to become kneelers. I don't think their anarchism would work anytime in the near future.
And as much as he enacts radical change as Lord Commander of the NW, some of it has to do with the support he gets from Stannis Baratheon. And Stannis is the epitome of the cultural-political status quo in terms of the views and opinions he holds.
It's Stannis who starts bringing the Freefolk this side of the Wall and both Jon and Stannis agree on an united realm to take on the threat of the Others.
“And the more we bleed each other, the weaker we shall all be when the real enemy falls upon us.” Jon had come to that same realization.' Your brothers will not like it, no more than your father’s lords, but I mean to allow the wildlings through the Wall … those who will swear me their fealty, pledge to keep the king’s peace and the king’s laws, and take the Lord of Light as their god. Even the giants, if those great knees of theirs can bend. I will settle them on the Gift, once I have wrested it away from your new Lord Commander. When the cold winds rise, we shall live or die together. It is time we made alliance against our common foe.” He looked at Jon. “Would you agree?” [–] “I agree.”
Which is why Jon throws his support behind Stannis as the one true king and advises him on strategy and tactics despite this being him treading close to breaking his NW oaths of neutrality with his deputies like Marsh and Yarwyck not looking kindly on this.
been thinking more abt this and its kind of interesting how despite the structural handicaps (their fortresses are indefensible from the south) the nights watch has way more state capacity than basically any other actor in westeros. they have a professional army (not drawn from feudal obligations), direct administration over holdings, and an extremely centralised command structure. not sure whether this was intentional on grrms part but its interesting to see how they basically fill the gap which the absence of rule from kings landing or winterfell creates during the war of the five kings- obviously, they're still vulnerable to any direct assault by a 'legitimate' (read: feudal) power, but this is in large part due to their retention of westerosi tactics.
This is interesting and I think this can be attributed to the NW being a neutral military command post with the Lord Commander being the top General elected by the people - who come from all over the realm and from different houses. I think the oaths are a big part of this. Neutrality means they stay away from any feuds and conflicts like the WOT5K.
However, I don't think this gives them any kind of advantage because despite having more state capacity, their fortresses are broken down and many of them unusable - leaving them open to an attack from the North. Their army is dwindling in terms of men and lack proper training and as we saw more recently their centralized command structure fell prey to mutiny and assassination after the Lord Commander enacted radical change and broke oaths to go save his little sister.
Their resources were already dwindling when AGoT started with the LC Jeor Mormont requesting Tryion to ask the crown to send more funds. With the WOT5K, civil war and chaos, it only got worse. It's actually shocking how much house Stark abandoned the Night's Watch as an institution in terms of it's upkeep.
The NW would have lost to Mance's host without Stannis Baratheon and his army getting there. Jon would have most probably died, killed by Mance or Janos Slynt. Mance takes the Wall by force. NW is destroyed and the Freefolk reach the Seven Kingdoms - where it's possible the Boltons unite the North against this new enemy.
And then the story would be different.
jon snow in the books is a great character bc he's notionally set up as a Hero of Legend and Prophecy but the minute he gets any institutional power hes like 'right. time to invest in root vegetables and structurally transformative agricultural infrastucture'. doesn't really give a shit about The Prince That Was Promised. the westerosi Numbers Fuckstein albeit also a therian. Just wants to mess with tax quotas and free folk resettlement distributions
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Late game spoilers, particulary about Varric! I wasn't able to put this into words before, but now that I've had some time, I think I can actually talk about it. It's a little long though.
I tried to start a new playthrough three times now, but I can't even make it to the ritual side without breaking down. It is, frankly, embarrassing.
But Varric means so, so much to me. I knew deep down that he wouldn't make it out of this alive - that he even survived past DA2 was a surprise to me. The man's got tragic death written all over him! But I still wish we had gotten some more out of him. Some more interactions with the companions, more banter, more relationship dynamics. We never even found out what he would have called the others! (Aside from Neve, who was 'Slick', apparently.)
This isn't even a criticism of the writing! I think it makes sense and fits his character, sadly. (Though it's also the first time they actually managed to make me hate Solas, which is quite a feat.) It's just me being heartbroken about one of - or maybe even my ultimate - comfort character. I played DA2 (and the others, too, but DA2 holds a special place in my heart in this regard) during a time in my life where I was very much just... lost, I guess. God. I think I actually felt physical fucking grief when I went through the Fade prison scene? I was shaking and sobbing the whole time and I don't know if I have it in me again.
I'm a bookseller by trade and Varric loving stories always resonated with me. He's often reduced to being the sarcastic sidekick, but I love all his aspects and complexities so very dearly.
The son who didn't ever quite fit in with the society he grew up in, who couldn't hold up to his parents expectations and so instead refused to be tied down by them, but still had a deep love for his family.
The man who was so tragically in love with a woman he couldn't have that he made her his little secret, keeping Bianca's identity even from his best friends. Who probably still didn't let go of his yearning all those years later, maybe because it was easier than opening up and getting hurt again.
The one who was always bickering with Cassandra, this steely woman he was always at odds with, but still wrote her a continuation for his romance series he didn't even think was good because beneath all of his veneer, he still cared.
Who was presented with this half-spirit half-boy and saw just a squirrely kid who needed some help to find his place in the world. (And yeah, this is special to me. Because god damn it, I never had someone like that growing up, and I would have given all my limbs and a kidney for it.)
Who was so, so full of compassion himself, despite all the shit the world had already thrown at him.
I don't know. Maybe I just have a thing for people who try to lock their hurt away so not even they, themselves, have to confront it. (Maybe because I'm a little like that myself and maybe that's why I like Lucanis so much, as well. Damn you, Mary Kirby.)
But anyway. Sorry for the vent. I just needed someplace to share this, I guess. I don't know what to do with this hole in my chest, but props to Bioware (and damn you again, Mary Kirby) for putting it there, because it's definitely not normal for me to care this much. I wasn't even this sad when I had to leave my Hawke in the Fade. Maybe they'll finally find each other again, wherever they are now 💔
#anyway i'm sorry this got so personal#but i don't think i'll ever be able to look at this man through a neutral lense#he means so much to me#and not just because i wished they'd let me romance him#he's so much more than that#i'll go back to crying now#thanks for reading this if you did#varric tethras#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#dragon age 2#god i'll probably delete this later it's so embarrassing#i was supposed to just simp for the hot assassin!!
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