#the chances of me liking men are literally zero

[ryan-sometimes]

It’s so hard being an emo twink trapped in the body of a dyke

[mycological-mariner]

Reading Worst Journey while on tour, far from home, sick as a dog, and missing my friends like oh thank god it can always be worse

[moonyflesh]

What if Wolverine took you to a hockey game?

WARNINGS: (not much). no smut- just a playful set of imagines/headcannons — very fluffy and ‘lovey-dovey’ (small kisses and cursing).

CHARACTERS: James “Logan” Howlett (‘Wolverine’) - (MARVEL/X-MEN)

🍺 .*.. 🏒

- At first you thought he was joking.

- i mean- can you imagine trying to squeeze his massive frame into one of those tiny, plastic stadium chairs?

- sure you know nothing about the “Calgary Flames”, but supporting the beast either way is entertaining enough as it is—

- (^) literally the worst person to sit around. he’s loud, obnoxious, (big), and curses like there’s no tomorrow.

- “fuckin- can you fuckin’ believe these pieces ‘uh shit? i totally could’ve fuckin’ made that fuckin’ shot. buncha’ bullshit ifya ask me.”

- he’s definitely big on stadium snacks. constantly has to get up and get more food (and beer).

- (^) the bar would 100% have to draw a limit on the amount of beer they can physically sell him.

- probably walks you through the basic rules of ice hockey, and/or the different players, and the fan-favorites.

- little forehead or cheek kisses when he needs to run to go to the bathroom or grab more food.

- one of his arms is slung around your shoulders at all times.

- throughout the game, he’s constantly glancing over at you- reading your facial expressions. are you enjoying yourself? do you know what’s happening? is this entertaining for you, too?

- definitely likes to show you (and your jersey) off.

- (^) forced you to wear a Flames jersey (that’s much to large on you) and is proud of you for “pickin’ the right fuckin’ team”— so what? at least you get his undivided attention.

- puts you on his shoulders so you both have a better chance of getting on the big screen.

- (^) and if you do? jesus, it makes his whole month. the second that camera pans to you two he’s already tongue-deep into your mouth, grinning like an idiot as you try to push him away from embarrassment.

- you totally go to the photo booth and take the most grainy, out-of-focus pictures known to man together in some shitty ice rink backdrop, (to which he insists you look beautiful- and sticks the entirety of the photo into his wallet).

- buys you a shitload of merch, including one of the collectible hockey pucks.

- claims to know some of the players personally (he’s never met any of them outside of the rink).

- distinctly shouts out each player’s first and last names when cheering them on.

- boos the other team, and their fans with zero shame whatsoever.

- the drive home depends on the outcome of the game.

- (^) The Flames lose? he’s not even mad- he’s just disappointed that that was all his team could manage for your first game. he promises to take you to more, though.

- (^) and if they win? he’s already discussing the ticket prices for the next game (if you’re willing to go with him again); excited grins tossed your way here and there as he makes sure you’re paying attention.

@trenchcoathunnybee08 this is dedicated to you! Sorry it took so long to finally get out (in some ways, it’s still a WIP). 🫶🏼

((if any of you would like to be added to my taglist, let me know through my inbox.))

[teal-sharky]

The literally only impressive thing about SpaceX Starship test is that it shows how incredibly dumb the audience is at this point.

People keep comparing Starship to SaturnV, because tentatively, if it ever became a space worthy vessel and orbital delivery vehicle (it's not); it'd be the largest and most powerful one in history, with SaturnV its only near peer (sorry, N-1, you really didn't qualify).

And the first "integration test vehicle" (read: the actually whole complete thing, that's literally the point of that kind of test; it's meant to be all the pieces, already tested and proven on their own, finally assembled into the final thing to make sure everything plays nice when together)

So lets see how did Saturn family development go in comparison? How many "integration test vehicles" did the Saturn project obliterate in the process?

ZERO. They blew up ZERO Saturn first stages, ZERO Saturn second stages, and ZERO Saturn payloads.

It's not fucking normal to blow up rockets this size and complexity, because they're expensive and dangerous! You build SMALLER, SIMPLER prototypes, you test those, you do all the "risky" tests on your separate parts of the system, and test the integration at less ambitious scales and stress levels. That's how you do rocket science. Iteratively, yes! But the iterations must make sense!

And let me stress

They got Saturn to moon and back in the SIXTIES, when simulation was in diapers (partially, literally invented within projects like the Saturn series).

SpaceX exists at a time where they can (and should) do 90% of the raw, grueling development with lot of painful failures in digital simulations, or tests where you build a small, simple thing and enhance the simulation based on what you learned there.

And the worst of it all is that another thing that Elongated Muskrat has at this disposal is all of the Saturn research. It's been DONE.

Saturn and other projects paved the worst of this goddamn slog. They did all the dirty, awful work already. They literally gave us the textbooks that you study from if you actually get a science degree (Elon does not have one).

And again, the most embarrassing thing isn't Musk and his poor, toxic, overworked circus that's SpaceX. The most embarrassing thing is the "space science enthusiast" crowd that's cheering on this launch as some sort of tentative success.

The king is fucking ass goddamn naked, and you all yes-men are an embarrassment to this doomed goddamn species. You're not supporting the effort to give Humanity a "chance at survival", you're hooting and hollering around a basementman dumpster fire that's literally immolating what's left of the scraps of natural and human resources we have left.

[moominsuki]

i don’t think bakugou knows how attractive he is. i think he has a certain level of cockiness about his skills as a hero, (it’s very justified) but when it comes to his looks, he’s got nothing. he can infer that he’s definitely not hideous but he doesn’t think he’s anything special.

he doesn’t wonder why girls don’t come up to him and he chalks it down to looking weird and you’re just like??? wtf, no it’s because you always have that stank and unapproachable face.

when you guys start dating, you’re in awe at the fact that he ever thought he wasn’t hot.

he’s literally 6’4 of pure muscle with wheat blond hair and bright carmine eyes, perfect hip to waist ratio and even his scars make him sexy: the one he has going across his nose makes him look rugged and if you have the pleasure of seeing him naked, the one on his chest is mouth watering - never mind the littering of tattoos that cover the expanse of his arms and legs.

like aforementioned, mouth watering.

katsuki is such a funny guy because he genuinely thought that there was something wrong. meanwhile girls are dying for the chance to even have the attention of the man and when you make him aware of it, he’s just flabbergasted.

“hah? whad’ya mean you’re jealous? girls never look at me.”

“… are you shitting me, katsuki.”

i do believe that katsuki gets very jealous when guys ask for your number and definitely thinks you’re out of his league in the looks department: which is silly because you both get hit on a fair amount - it’s just that bakugou is very emotionally constipated and not very good at reading when girls are flirting with him… which gets annoying because now you’re fighting off touchy hands and heart eyes from other women and he has zero clue as to why you turn your noise up at him and get annoyed.

so when he does put two and two together and you explain that he is a) a very attractive and gorgeous man who happens to be a top, pro hero and b) women and men alike have always wanted him, you’re just not good at seeing it does he turn a bit red at the face and huff.

“i don’ really care if those people find me attractive or hit on me or whatever. i have you and that’s enough for me.”

another thing katsuki doesn’t realise is that he has a way with words and your eyes turn into hearts when he wraps an arm around your waist in an embrace. well, it doesn’t hurt to show him how attractive he is anyway…

[eelclaw]

the protagonists of the broken code. who's rootspring

i am tbc's number 1 hater! negative thoughts below

shadowsight: other characters sometimes acknowledge that he was manipulated by ashfur, but the narrative puts all of the blame for the ashfur situation on him, neglecting that (a) he did exactly what he was supposed to do as a healer (obey and take messages from a starclan cat), and (b) the codebreaker hysteria was far more a product of clan culture than the actions of a single apprentice. he isn't treated like the victim that he is, and it is frustrating and not cathartic.

bristlefrost: what the hell does she even do. what does her spy arc accomplish or contribute (like mother, like daughter). she finds out that bramblestar isn't bramblestar far too early. she's so perfect and she has no flaws and she's so empty. i want her to be worse. how much more interesting would she be if she was sneaky and selfish? if she was loyal to the imposter because she truly believed in what he was saying? not to mention how she reciprocates rootspring's feelings with literally zero warning, and ceases to have what little character she'd had to begin with. i genuinely don't care that she dies, they did nothing to make her an engaging character. miss bristlefrost, i'm sorry they did you so bad.

rootspring: first rootpaw thinks he's weird because of his father. i hate this because i hate tree. later, rootpaw thinks he's weird because he can see ghosts. so they give him this "i just want to be normal" deal, and the clans suddenly pretend that ghosts are silly and not real. sure, rootspring and tree are the first clan cats with this specific power. and i get that the clans have very rigid beliefs, and they are afraid of anything that contradicts those beliefs, and that's interesting! but ghosts have been appearing to clan cats all the way back to tpb. fireheart tries to kill clawface at one point and he senses spottedleaf's spirit beside him, there to avenge her death. so rootspring's issue is stupid and he's nothingburger to me.

bramblestar: the arc really depends on me giving a shit about what happens to him. which i don't.

i think bramblestar is unintentionally a bad person and a great character. he proves himself by rejecting tigerstar, but he's still deeply insecure. he makes mistake after mistake (conspiring with tigerstar; hesitating to save firestar from the fox trap; forsaking his children after finding out they're not biologically his; using his power over squirrelflight as a warrior, deputy, and leader to control her), and for none of these mistakes is he held accountable (no thunderclan cat except leafpool learns that he plotted with tigerstar; he is allowed to remain deputy; his children think he was the best father ever; in every situation, squirrelflight seems to bear the consequences of his actions).

in other words, bramblestar gets chance after chance to redeem himself, and he keeps fucking it up. again, that's interesting! there is a story here about how difficult childhoods affect adults, and how powerful men are not held responsible for hurting people. except that's not how he's written. he's written as a completely good person, a brave and noble leader, and all of the clans respect him and they need to get him back.

there's a crazy amount of bramblestar worship in this arc. even rootspring, a brand new skyclan apprentice, thinks about how important bramblestar, the thunderclan leader, is, and how all the clans wouldn't be the same without him. i can't take it seriously.

graystripe: graystripe also got a crazy amount of worship. i couldn't stand reading every few paragraphs about how great he is.

side note: shadowsight, bristlefrost, and rootspring all want the same thing. they advocate against killing bramblestar's body. wouldn't it be more interesting if the protagonists had different perspectives and opinions? if they wanted different things? for example, it makes sense that shadowsight wouldn't want bramblestar dead. he feels like the only way to make up for his mistake is to recover bramblestar alive. but bristlefrost could be in favor of killing bramblestar, because the only way to make up for her mistake (supporting the imposter) is to get rid of him. putting our protagonists at odds would generate some interesting conflict.

conclusion: i also have problems with ashfur (why does ashfur try to stir up trouble with codebreaking which will certainly get him caught when he could just take over bramblestar's body and live quietly with squirrelflight), tigerheartstar, mothwing, starclan, the dark forest insta-death water, firestar possessing rootspring, the pacing (oh my god! they were debating whether to kill bramblestar for like three books! and for three more books they were running in circles in the dark forest!), etc. but i've already written a lot and i'm out of steam lol.

let me finish by saying these are kids books, and i'm not expecting them to be the cream of the crop, but there are a lot of writing choices which are incredibly misogynistic and/or completely baffling from a narrative standpoint. i still have a soft spot for this series though. dammit. okay bye

[jewish-vents]

As a proud Jew and a member of the Iŋalit Iñupiaq people I have never felt as seen as reading a Choctaw Jew's post on here. Christian missionaries hauled my people off of our lands and killed most of us and they didn't even inhabit the land. They didn't even build shit there, they just took it to take it, and I'm supposed to go "ah yes America has no colonizers" and not laugh when these people say "Hebrew is a colonizer language"? Motherfuckers, MY LANGUAGE IS EXTINCT BECAUSE OF YOU! You know who didn't ever try and force a language on anyone? The Ashke Jewish man my great-great grandmother fell for and married. People really expect me to be onboard with their fact-free zero colonialism rewrite of history while my people's lands remain off limits to us, illegal to even visit, the US government holding onto it on the off chance there might be oil there even though they never bothered to even drill for it in over 70 years.

"No other religion acts like this" first of all please read up on Islamic imperialism and get your boot off the neck of my indigenous Middle Eastern brethren and secondly Christian-governed Alaska wouldn't let Native students attend school with "American" children - that is literally how the law phrased it - unless we abandoned our language, our clothes, our songs, our stories, our religion and even traditions as basic as sharing food with poor families in the community. You wanna know how my great-great grandmother met my great-great grandfather? They were both arrested for violating the law and "indoctrinating" children into "Native, anti-European practices" by which I mean THEY WERE BOTH ARRESTED FOR GIVING FOOD TO POOR PEOPLE. They were both arrested by CHRISTIANS!

And people mistake my brown skin for proof of goy status and want to talk shit about how the only good colonizer is a dead colonizer. You're white and you're in ALASKA, you might want to rethink the words coming out of your mouth when most of your ancestors came here to mine gold and get rich and mistreat indigenous people. Even if I accepted the idea that Israel is doing colonialism, which I do not, nobody moved to Israel to get rich and rape indigenous women with impunity to the point where there are words in Inuit languages for gangrape done by white men.

I don't want to hear another thing from a white goy in Alaska about Israel being colonizers when the US bought Alaska from Russia. We were colonized twice for you to get to be here and tell me to my face how colonizers are bad. AND THEN people want to say my Ashke ancestors were colonizers. Fleeing Russia is not colonization, one, and two, WHY DO YOU THINK THEY LEFT?! For fun? What, they heard our weather was nice and wanted to come visit?

I am going to need white goyim to learn US history before they open their mouths.

I'm sorry this is long and I yelled/capslocked but I have had to bite my tongue so many times to not cause a scene because I don't want the university to come up with an excuse not to let me graduate due to poor conduct. It is so tiring. I feel like I'm holding my breath all the time. Graduation is tomorrow. Shabbat shalom.

.

[sincerelyrki]

such pretty boy excuses

what better way to get back at your ex and “best friend” on prom night then by going after the man said “best friend” had been obsessed with for years?

pairing : heeseung x fem!reader + ex!sungchan x fem!reader

warnings + genre : suggestive. mentions of sex. jealousy. heeseung really doesn’t like sungchan at all. all characters are said to be in highschool, but they’re all 18.

wc : 1.5k

a/n : i just finished euphoria and im literally obsessed so this was inspired by nate and maddy at prom (maddy n fez are the best characters btw).

perm written taglist : @vousty

“No matter how hard Minjeong tries, she’ll never be you.” 

The fluorescent lights did nothing to hide the obvious emotion in your eyes, pupils dilated as you burned holes into the two familiar people dancing under the chandelier. 

“Besides, he doesn’t care about her at all. He can’t keep his eyes away from you.”

Your nails tore holes into the tablecloth as your hands formed fists, teeth clenching as you watched his hands push further up her thighs, his eyes staring directly at you.

“Yn, don’t.” One of your best friends, Yerim, pleaded from her spot across the table. She shared a look with your other friend, Sieun, their looks mirroring each other.

“I’m going to kill Minjeong.” You stood up from the table, chair flying back as you stormed into the crowd. Your hair bounced along your back, your dress swaying along with it.

You could feel Sungchan’s eyes on you, his heated look burning along your exposed shoulders. Your gaze never met his, your eyes zeroed in on one of the men leaning against the wall beside the buffet table.

The group of men all looked up as soon as they heard the sound of your heels clicking towards them, jaws dropping at the sight of you. All men except one began adjusting their hair, hands running through the strands in an attempt to tame their flyaways. 

You stopped in front of the one you’d been watching, his smirk seeming brighter under the blue lights. “Dance with me?” You stuck out your perfectly manicured hands, your seductive eyes matching his.

“Of course, Princess.” He responded in seconds, his much bigger hands enveloping yours. He stood from his spot, his eyes never leaving yours as he pulled you tight against him. 

He bent at the waist, his nose touching yours as he whispered above your lips, “I can treat you so much better, just give me a chance.”

You quirked an eyebrow in response, a playful smile on your lips as you pushed your faces closer together. “Can you?” He gave a single nod, his hands tightening around you, “but he made me feel so good.”

You noticed the way his eyes narrowed at you, a challenging tone coming out in response, “Oh really?”

He let go of your hand to press his index finger against the bottom of your chin, tilting your head up higher, “What did he do to make you feel so good?” He teased the last two words, holding their syllables longer than the others. 

You turned your back to him, hair hitting against his face as you rejoined your hands. You pulled him along with you, a purposely sway in your hips as you led him towards a spot near your ex-boyfriend. 

You tilted your head back towards the man behind you, his gaze locked on your exposed thighs. “He’d press me against the wall,” you tugged Heeseung into you, his chest against your back.

He leaned his head down beside yours, his lips settling near your cheek and he gestured for you to continue. “He’d slot his leg between mine, wrap his hands around my waist as he pulled me against him.”

Your head fell back against his chest, eyes closing as he copied your words, his hands wrapping around your waist as he pushed his hips into you.

“Then he’d kiss my neck, whispering against my skin about how good I felt against him.” Heeseung guided your hips against him.

“Would he whisper about how much he loved you?” You turned your eyes towards Heeseung, an unknown look on your face as you shook your head.

“No, not once.” Heeseung clicked his tongue, shaking his head in amazement, “If you were mine, I’d tell you every day.”

He used his hold on you to turn your body, your chests pressing against each other, “I'd always put you first, your pleasure would be my top priority.” 

You gave him an untrustful smile, head tilting to the side as you observed the way his eyes shone with sincerity, “I don’t believe you, no man would ever put me first.”

Heeseung responded with a head shake right away, hands gripping against the back of your thighs as he pulled your body into a tippy-toe, “You’re wrong, a real man would make you come undone five times before allowing himself to reach the same high.” 

You laughed in response, eyeliner enhancing the way your eyes narrowed at him. “Five times? You’re crazy.”

Heeseung never laughed in return, his face completely serious as he watched the way you giggled at him, “I’m serious.”

Even though you still found his words ridiculous, you decided to muse him, “I’d be way too tired to continue on.” 

“That’s fine, I can wait.”

“For sure, I’ll hold you to it.” You pressed your cheek against his lower chest, eyes fluttering up at him with a sweet smile on your lips.

“You don’t believe me?” Heeseung raised your arms to wrap around his neck, pressing his head against the top of your hair. 

“No, Sungchan always told me that he was too tired after one time.”

“Such pretty boy excuses.” Heeseung tutted out loud, his hatred for your ex only intensifying the longer he heard about the shitty he treated you. The hook.

“Well I’m not Sungchan, am I?” The line.

“No, you’re not.”

“Will you let me prove to you that I’m telling the truth?” And finally, the sinker.

“Depends on how good of a dancer you are, this happens to be my favourite song.” 

Heeseung tilted his head back with a smile, shaking his head at your words. He stepped back a little bit, his hand stretched out towards you as he bent into a bow.

“I’m not the captain of the dance team for no reason.” You grabbed his hand in yours, allowing him to pull you back into him.

“Prove it to me.”

“I will.”

The second the song ended you, once again, turned your back to the taller man. No words were shared as you began pulling him behind you, his body close to yours as he kept up with your pace.

The two of you were stopped when a loud shout of your name came from behind you, your feet pausing as your ex-boyfriend advanced towards you. 

You squeezed Heeseung’s hand once before you turned to face the angry man, Heeseung following your initiative as he circled his arm around your shoulder.  

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going with-“ Sungchan paused as he recognized the man against you.

“Heeseung? Are you fucking kidding me, Yn?” He laughed in disbelief, hands throwing up by his sides as he stared at the two of you in disbelief.

“Real classy, going after the man your best friend was in love with for years.” You turned your head while pretending to think, tongue pressing against the side of your cheek as you stared at Minjeong standing frozen behind Sungchan.

“Best friend? We’re nothing more than strangers.”

“She means nothing to me.” Minjeongs jaw dropped in shock at your tragic words, tears filling her eyes as she tried stepping closer to you.

“Best friends don’t fuck each other's boyfriends.” 

It wasn’t as big of a secret as Minjeong thought it was, it barely took you a week to notice her sneaking behind your back. Even though you and Sungchan had been broken up for a month, she’d been seeing him for two. 

“You two really deserve each other.” Heeseung pouted at them, his arm tightening around your shoulder as he leaned down to press his lips against your cheek.

“But don’t worry, Yn is better with me anyway.”

“You know nothing about her.”

It was obvious what Sungchan was hinting at, his eyes tracing your body up and down. Heeseung stepped in front of you, blocking you from his vision.

“Are you sure?” He didn’t have to say much for Sungchan to make his own connections, his eyebrows furrowing.

“She doesn’t have to worry about me passing out on her, I can go all night.” The same way he did before, he stressed the last two words. His mockery was evident, the diss hitting Sungchan in the perfect way.

“Too bad we can’t continue this little… talk,” Heeseung looked over Sungchan’s shoulder to look at Minjeong, winking at her once before he shot the two of them a smile, “We have plans, I’m sure you’ll understand.”

Heeseung ignored their looks and led you towards the door, his comforting hand rubbing shapes against yours. 

“You did so good.” He cooed the second the door closed from behind you, his body pressing you against the wall adjacent to it. 

“My baby was so brave.” He pressed a small kiss against your earlobe, his teeth nipping at your skin. “Let me reward you, yeah?”

You nodded your head, eyes barely focused as you breathed him in. “Please,” You tilted your head to the side as his lips connected with your neck, his hands squeezing at the skin around your hips.

“I love you” Heeseung knew you thought he was just saying that because of your conversation from before, he knew that you wouldn’t think twice about what he was saying against you.

It seemed that Heeseung had more than one thing to prove to you, and he was ready to spend the entire night showing you.  

[velvet4510]

Is it just me or is Jean Grey’s entire characterization and storyline in the XMCU unbelievably sexist? I’m just so appalled by it. I have no idea if this is a hot take - I’m brand new to these films, and am totally unfamiliar with the comics - but I really can’t see this as anything other than misogynistic writing.

Between the idea that “woman can’t control her own power” and “woman who two guys are fighting over” … both of those are such dated and regressive concepts but for Jean Grey to embody BOTH of them … and literally NOTHING else? She has ZERO character development outside of these two traits. We don’t explore her friendships with Storm or Rogue or any of the other female mutants. We don’t explore her feelings toward humans, if she entirely agrees with Xavier or if she’s ever curious about Magneto’s view. We don’t get any understanding of her own wants and needs. She ONLY exists to cause pain to all the male characters.

We’re supposed to sob at the end of X2 because all the men are sad. But we are given no reason to care about her for who she is as an individual - only for her ability to make men sad.

Then after it turns out she’s alive in TLS, she goes full-on villain. No psychological complexity, no moral struggles. Just villain. Oh, no, too much power for woman!! Woman can’t possibly control a force like this!! Man must kill her - must kill the love of his life, oh, no, what a tragedy!!! There’s no hope for her; the only way is to kill her.

Then after her death, she is not framed by the narrative in memory as a great X-Man, or as a fallen hero. She is framed as the lost love of a man who she didn’t even love in return. The power that she couldn’t control caused her to kill the man she really did love - Scott - but all the remaining films frame her as no more than the source of Logan’s torment and manpain.

Even when she returns at the end of DOFP, the joy comes from Logan finally getting a second chance at resuming his rivalry with Scott over her.

I haven’t even seen Apocalypse or DP - and I don’t want to - but I already know that those films only make the exact same mistakes all over again!

I guess I should blame the comics for coming up with this BS in the first place, but the movies didn’t even try to improve upon it.

Jean Grey is the most poorly written female superhero film character I’ve ever seen.

[samasmith23]

Dear @hellyeahheroes/@filipfatalattractionrblog,

All that me and my friend @sjbattleangel ask is that you and the rest of your friends on this blog please acknowledge and apologize for creating such a toxic echo chamber with your blog, which encourages and enables hyperbolic and inflammatory mischaracterization and harassment if comic creators that you personally dislike. If you don’t like the works of people like Jason Aaron, Dan Slott, Brian Michael Bendis, Donny Cates, Jonathan Hickman, Scott Snyder, James Tynion IV, Joshua Williamson etc., that’s fine; but it is UNACCEPTABLE to constantly slander and demonize them as “perverts”, "misogynists", "homophobes", "eugenists" or “fascist apologists” when there’s ZERO evidence to substantiate such extreme claims. Just because these creators wrote comics that you personally disliked does NOT mean that they're even remotely comparable to legitimately bigoted scumbags like Ethan Van Sciver & Chuck Dixon like you treat them as based on the way you constantly talk about them!

And some members of your community, like KK4EverStuff, have gone even further by using your defamatory statements as an excuse to write literal death threats towards said-creators such as these:

These are NOT ad-hominem or hyperbolic Angry Video Game Nerd style criticisms like majingojira once tried to claim. This is violent an unhinged cyberbullying on KK4EverStuff's part. Plain and simple. Your blog encouraged and enabled his kind of toxic behavior, and you need to acknowledge that and do better going forward.

Then there is the X-Men series (particularly anything non-New X-Men: Academy X or post-Schism), Batgirls, any post-One Year Later Cass Cain-stared story or any post-One More Day Spider-Man story. It's fine if they don't appeal to you but deliberately choosing to hate them way before you even read them or gave them a proper chance? That isn't good or healthy criticism, that's just hate-reading for the sake of hate-reading. All it does is create an atmosphere of constant negativity and toxic gatekeeping which really hurt comic fans who just want to have fun. If anything after Avengers: Arena, X-Men: Schism, Robin: One Year Later or One More Day upset you that much then why you are reading them if you're automatically going to hate them? Just don't read them. It's that easy.

So please, acknowledge that you have done wrong with your past attacks against specific comic creators, toxic bad-faith comic criticism and apologize. That’s all we ask for.

Do better!

[raisedbythetv89]

excuse the ranting here but just had someone try and argue that a fully evil literally on the hunt for the Slayer (bc he’s stalking his PREY to fight and hopefully kill) Spike - finding Buffy attractive (according to an interview James gave where he talks about that moment and said he embodied the kinds of predatory men who literally are “on the hunt” for real life women in bars) as anywhere NEAR the same level of creepiness as a SOULFUL aka SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD angel stalking and falling in love at the sight of an innocent and crying 15 year old Buffy….

Anti spike/spuffy ppl always try and use that interview to make Spike out to be “just as creepy” as Angel which is always just so embarrassing to me that they don’t grasp the basic difference between one was the most evil and literally is a predator to her prey but buffy is also a predator to spike’s kind so there is even still a balance of power between them even then and he’s literally just explaining how he played the scene to get the attitude and body language right as a predator bc he understands that’s what Spike is to Buffy at that time (literally had zero clue he would ever be a love interest of Buffy’s). And the other who is not supposed to be a predator anymore…. hides his identity as a vampire AND hides the fact that he’s been watching her for over a year is still acting as a predator but instead of stalking an experienced slayer to attempt to fight and kill he is stalking a freshly called still weak and vulnerable slayer who he wants to sleep with aka corrupt.

Angel is supposed to be GOOD yet is still acting like a predator. Spike IS EVIL and so is simply acting as someone who has killed two slayers should 💀💀💀💀 the fact that soulless evil Spike and soulful “good” Angel’s behavior can be compared AT ALL is bad for angel and angel alone bc spike is supposed to be evil and treating buffy as someone he is hunting and as an opponent. Angel is supposed to be HELPING Buffy….

But regardless of all that the argument is James said Sarah is beautiful so of course he played up that angle as well so canonically Spike thinks a 16 year old Buffy is pretty and these people really don’t understand the difference between the two 😭😭

First of all I personally have heard Sarah call herself “not the prettiest” at least 10 times in 10 different interviews - how often do you think the people in her life heard her make jokes or comments about her appearance??? To me that always seemed like James just paying a compliment to his costar who doesn’t understand how literally fucking STUNNING she is by basically being like HAVE YOU SEEN HER OF COURSE MY CHARACTER THINKS SHE’S PRETTY LOOK AT HER!! James literally rizzed his way into a main character and love interest like of course he’s gonna be charming in real life by paying compliments to everyone he can every chance he gets. He had sex appeal and a dream AND IT WORKED 💀 and we also see him have chemistry with practically every person on the show that’s just who he is 😹😹😹

But I also just cannot emphasize how much of a difference there is between finding someone attractive or thinking they’re beautiful vs actually ACTING on it and ESPECIALLY acting on it when you call her friend of the same age “just a kid” and say over and over again how wrong it is and that she’s too young AND THEN DO IT ANYWAY. Like it’s a supernatural show with vampires who are 100 & 200+ years old if angel hadn’t constantly acted like her dad and treated Buffy like a kid and everything is season 3 didn’t happen there could be sooooooo much more leniency with angel and buffy’s age differences and I probably wouldn’t care bc applying irl rules to the supernatural doesn’t make a lot of sense but angel always treats her like a child and says over and over again how wrong it is and THAT is what makes it a problem within this supernatural show bc Spike never treats her like a child or like she isn’t his equal ever no matter what age she is

But unfortunately it makes sense people who like a character whose main personality trait is !catholic guilt! (when he’s got a soul) don’t understand the difference between thoughts and actions and how we should only be defining ourselves and other people by their actions. Because we are not every single thought we’ve ever had both good and bad. If you think to do good things but don’t that does not make you good and if you think to do bad things but don’t that does not make you bad.

So evil Spike thinking a beautiful Buffy dancing with her friends is hot at 16 is not even CLOSE to the same as a supposed to be good angel activity pursuing a relationship with her by breadcrumbing the absolute fuck out of her, manipulating her like crazy and lying to her about practically everything and flirting with her under false pretenses after falling in love at the sight of her looking like a child with her lollipop on the school steps at 15 and then watching her cry in the bathroom mirror as he watches her from the bushes with a smile on his face and hope in his eyes and if you don’t understand that there is literally nothing I can do or say to help you

[fickleminder]

The Devil Who Loved Me

AU. The aftermath of being rescued by a handsome secret agent who might or might not be entirely human.

I literally could not stop staring at Satan’s latest card (the detective one I had to bankrupt myself again to pull) and with all the controversy over the new date feature, this little fic was born 🥰💚

You’d never been a fan of boat rides, but surprisingly this one wasn’t causing your motion sickness to act up. Whoever was at the helm of this vessel knew how to handle her smoothly. You could barely feel the rocking of the waves as she cruised steadily to who-knows-where.

Too distracted by the sounds of the ocean and the shrinking view of the island resort, your shoulders jumped when a warm jacket was draped over them. You looked up to see the blond agent who had whisked you away in the dead of night, wearing a crooked grin on his handsome face.

"I'm afraid our escape was planned at the last minute so we're not properly equipped to host extra guests,” he remarked as he sat down next to you, keeping a respectful distance. “Levi sends his apologies.”

“Well, I’m glad he even let me onboard to begin with.” You pulled his jacket tighter over your flimsy night clothes, not realizing how chilly the salty air actually was until now. “Thanks.”

“What was I supposed to do? You were just standing there staring at me like a lost sheep.”

A lost sheep resigned to its fate in the slaughterhouse, he didn’t add. It had been a moment of impulse, grabbing your hand and dragging you to the docks with him. Despite being the Kingpin’s spouse, you had no part in his nefarious schemes. You were just one of his many trophies, but while you had no qualms helping the man who had broken into your room to snoop for information, you weren’t jumping at the chance to run away either.

“Where to?” The agent had asked when you took your first steps into Levi’s boat and towards freedom.

“I don’t know… I don’t— I have nothing,” you’d confessed in a daze, still gripping his hand tightly.

“Family?”

“…Not anymore. They took his money and didn’t look back.”

And now here you were, sailing with unknown men into uncharted waters. They could decide to toss you overboard to drown at any time, and yet you seemed relieved to be anywhere but in that luxurious hotel suite.

You ignored the comment about lost sheep, choosing to examine the jacket wrapped around your upper body instead. Your eyes zeroed in on the small holes perforating the smooth material, scattered around where your heart and stomach rested. Distant gunshots echoed in your ears, and you felt the phantom force of a solid back pressing you firmly against wallpaper, an immovable shield.

“Are you even human?” The words spilled out before you could stop yourself. Who were you to judge the skills of a trained secret agent anyway? “I heard them call you Satan, but I figured it was a codename or something…”

‘Satan’ raised an eyebrow, looking a mix of surprised and amused. His dress shirt and vest were equally riddled with holes, and yet not a single splotch of blood could be seen. “Asking the hard questions on the first date? How bold.”

Your cheeks warmed. Was he flirting with you? Surely not. “You’ve already seen me naked. A simple yes or no would have sufficed.”

Technically you had been wrapped in a damp towel when you walked in on him digging through your husband’s private documents, but close enough. He didn’t even bat an eyelash at the faint bruises painted across your skin, hidden by thick layers of makeup and concealer when you had first caught his attention in the casino the previous evening.

To Satan’s credit, he was a smooth talker with a smile that could charm anyone’s pants off. It was wasted on you though; he didn’t even have to seduce you for you to point out where your husband kept the papers and artifacts for the auction. In fact, you relished the memory of the befuddled agent’s jaw dropping when you simply sat down on the king-sized bed to dry your hair after handing him everything on a silver platter.

“What would you do if I said no?”

Satan’s low voice gave you pause. He looked completely serious now, and there was something in his eyes that seemed to glow supernaturally.

“…If you’re telling me that you’re the literal devil himself, then I’d say there’s no one better to escort me to hell.” You were probably going there for associating with a criminal empire anyway, albeit unwillingly; might as well walk through the gates with the most handsome demon you’d ever laid eyes on. “But why would the devil be sneaking around among humans on a remote island?”

“Let’s just say your husband has gotten his oily fingers into some prohibited magic circles,” Satan replied without missing a beat. It was your jaw’s turn to drop; it didn’t sound as though he was joking, and the Kingpin had been up to some extra shady stuff lately… “As one of the Seven Rulers, I was sent by Lord Diavolo to investigate.”

“Right. And Levi is short for Leviathan.”

Satan grinned playfully. “Of course. Who else could he be?”

Your head was beginning to spin. Maybe you were getting seasick after all. “I think I need a nap, and then hopefully things will start making sense after I wake up.”

“A tiny boat in the middle of the ocean is hardly the place for snoozing. Might I suggest a guest room in the Demon Lord’s Castle? You’ll find that the butler service there is second to none.”

“Whatever you say.” You were practically running on autopilot at this point, your mind no longer able to process the bizarreness of the conversation. “What’ll it cost me?”

“How about a proper date?” Satan winked at you. He took your hand and, when you didn’t resist, pressed a chaste kiss to your knuckles. “I can show you all my favorite places in the Devildom.”

“…Okay.”

“Wonderful.” Satan turned towards the bow. “Levi, all clear! We can head back home now.”

“Aahhhh finally! I didn’t know how much longer I could pretend to steer this thing!” A purple-haired man emerged from the cockpit, looking completely frazzled. He stared at you curiously. “Is the normie coming with us?”

“Yes, Lord Diavolo would want to know as much detail as possible. Who better to help than the Kingpin’s very own spouse?”

“Makes sense. Anyway, we’re almost on top of one of the sea portals to the Devildom. Lotan can take us the rest of the way!”

“Wait, Levi don’t—!”

You ended up getting your nap after all, instantly passing out at the sight of a monstrous sea serpent emerging from the inky waves with a deafening roar.

[n3ptoonz]

mk1 dialogues with the earthrealm guys!

a/n: most of these are pre-made in my notes, i'm choosing the ones that are more broad rather than targeted towards my oc! i hope it's to your guy's liking!

some of these lines are flirtatious

reader being an assassin mentioned a few times

enjoy!

Johnny Cage:

you: you are the last man i would ever court.

johnny cage: sooo i have a chance

johnny cage: i'd be lying if i said i didn't wanna be dominated by a warrior

you: i think i'd rather just kill you instead

you: what does "finish me johnny" even mean?

johnny: ohoho, allow me to demonstrate, sweet thang

johnny: i don't think you realize how seriously i take competition

you: i can guess from how you almost cried when kung lao outsmarted you in poker three times

Kenshi Takahashi:

you: you ever been asked how many fingers was being held up?

kenshi: it seems you haven't met our world class comedian johnny cage

kenshi: you look like you have something to say.

you: i was just wondering how often you wash your blindfold

you: you make that blindfold work, takahashi

kenshi: though welcomed, flattery won't get me to go easy on you.

kenshi: i still can't believe there's billions of other timelines outside of this one.

you: believe it, i had to fight off a combo of you and scorpion, not pretty.

Kung Lao:

kung lao: don't you like...kill people for a living?

you: says the man with a hat that could easily slice through a crowd

kung lao: an assassin huh...you work for general shao?

you: i would rather gauge my eyes out with push pins

kung lao: i can see you staring at my dimples

you: i was actually looking at your pressure points, but whatever helps you sleep at night

you: normally i cheer you on, but im going to take you down this time

kung lao: hah, you are certainly welcome to try

Raiden:

raiden: is it so obvious...?

you: raiden, you literally smile ear to ear at the sound of kitana's name

you: "i am nervous" my ass

raiden: i'm glad you think so highly of me, but i really was!

raiden: loser has to pay the next check at madam bo's

you: i didn't know you had such money in your pockets, champion

you: what's with all the fine men wearing hats around this place?

raiden: i...wow, you've really managed to catch me off guard

Sub-Zero:

bi-han: your flattery is not welcomed here.

you: aw, i was just getting started too

you: you said you think i'm so hot and cool and sexy?!

bi-han: [groans dramatically and tiredly]

bi-han: not surprised you're on the wrong side.

you: i dunno, something about not fucking with an evil sorcerer that could kebab me if i breathed wrong helped me make up my mind

you: so i'm assuming a double date with kuai and harumi is off the table

bi-han: i was considering it until you uttered that traitor's name.

Scorpion:

you: where did "get over here" come from?

kuai: if i told you, i'd have to kill you.

kuai: how would you even like my hair if you've only seen it tied up?

you: i have a very sufficient imagination, kuai liang

you: ouch, that's one nasty scar

kuai: it gives me a story to tell my new clan, should they ever ask.

kuai: don't you dare say it...

you: ..."come here!"

Smoke:

tomas: is it true? you find me handsome?

you: what can i say, men in uniform have my heart

you: if i didn't know any better, i'd think you're flirting with me

tomas: well...uh...i'm not particularly good in this field...

tomas: your bravery knows no bounds, you really flirted with bi-han?!

you: ah...i may have shit my pants a little when he almost froze my head off the other day

you: johnny's right, you'd be great on the big screen

tomas: thats... thats really nice of you to say!

Liu Kang:

liu: before you ask, yes, it is possible you are also a keeper of time in another timeline.

you: now i wanna ask how many people bombarded with that question

you: so, what was i like in the last timeline?

liu: there's not enough time to explain, maybe after this. maybe.

liu: i would heavily advise against trying to court a god

you: what? me? trying to- you speak madness!

you: i have to know...was i styling in the previous timeline or no?

liu: not even i had the time think of things like this as a mortal.

------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: this is an experiment post, hopefully this has reach cause i miss posting on here😭

[elleloquently]

invisible string [4] : ellie williams

part three

| college!ellie x female!reader - thank you guys so much for patiently (and excitedly) waiting for this update! school is absolutely so busy it's sickening, so it's hard to write as often as i want, but i really want to aim for at least one update per week! writing this chapter was so much fun so please let me know what you think... as always thank you for your love, requests are open, and reblogs and comments are always loved and appreciated! love ya <3 (p.s shout out to a creepy owner irl who inspired part of this fic)

| c/w - anxious reader, swearing, mention of weed, alcohol, men!

studying was very dull compared to texting a pretty girl.

ellie entered your life in a whirlwind, notes filling up your once empty walls and endless texts and pictures cluttering up your phone.

the texts came in slowly at first, maybe a few short conversations every other day, mostly complaining about how much homework the professor of your shared class was packing in before finals week hit. then entered stupid memes, random pictures... and suddenly you were staying up until 3am learning about each other, despite your 8am class.

it had only been a few days, and you knew that you were getting too attached.

it was a feeling that made your stomach sink, the realization of how much your mood improved with a simple text. you were happiest in class, sitting next to ellie, even when your hand cramped from filling out pages of study guides.

sighing, you turned your music up louder and crashed back onto your bed, cushioned by a multitude of throw pillows and blankets. you weren't getting much studying done anyway.

the song grew quiet as your phone chimed, music to your ears.

Zero progress.

attached was a photo of the study guide, the amount of completed questions matching those of your own packet.

you quickly typed out a response to ellie, short and to the point.

literally sickening

it was only a few seconds before she replied:

There goes my weekend!

you replied in agreement before forcing yourself back up to glance over your textbook. you've been lingering on the same chapter for over an hour. if you were truly honest with yourself, you probably only read about two paragraphs... you were distracted.

you hardly had time to even daydream due to how busy you were, but it's not like it mattered. you gaze lingered to the collaboration of drawings made by yourself and ellie, still sticking to the wall. your phone sounded once again, pulling you out of a sleepy daze. figuring it was ellie again, you closed your textbook in an act of resignment.

the smile that appeared once you heard the text notification slowly faded upon closer inspection.

it wasn't ellie. it was a friend, one you admittedly haven't spoken to much as of recent. you hadn't really meant to ghost her, but your schedules didn't really align much. this time of year you were so busy with assignments and work, and she was busy with... well, literally anything else.

her message consisted of only two words, call me. it was short and vague so you immediately obliged, worry taking over your senses.

she answered on the second ring, speaking before you had even opened your mouth.

"please tell me you don't have plans tonight," she urged.

you wince, already preparing an excuse. "i'm studying..." you start. it wasn't a complete lie, you really had been making an effort.

her disappointment is obvious by the way she sighs your name into the phone speaker. "i've barely seen you all semester," she argues.

you start to chip your nail polish on your free hand, holding your phone to your ear with the other one. "what's up?" you ask.

"come out with me tonight? please. you've hardly come out this semester and let's be real, once finals start there's no chance i'll be able to convince you to come out," your friend pleads. her desperation is heavy and you rub at your eyes.

you want to immediately tell her no, but you really hadn't seen her in awhile yet the other day you skipped class for a chance to hangout with someone you hardly even knew. granted, it was ellie, but still.

a pit of guilt planted itself in your stomach, forcing your next words.

"what time?"

yelping in excitment, the girl on the other end of the line gushes out all of the information to you. "i'll pick you up around eleven, okay?"

a rushed end to a quick call, with promises to text more and texting outfit options for the night.

you were nervous about the change of pace. it caused you a strange feeling of obligation, to get out of your bubble and do something different every once in awhile. during college, people were promised four years of finding their forever friends and partying, making the memories that will last their entire lifetime.

you tried to partake, but it felt forced.

with a demanding major and even more demanding coursework, it was hard to maintain friendships by finding the time to actually go out. any spare time you had was replaced with shifts at work.

you felt like you were doing college… wrong.

your music resumed, the volume increasing to drown out any anxious thoughts that would prompt you to cancel last minute.

with no new texts from ellie, you decided to give your study guide one last try.

─ ·𖥸· ── ·𖥸· ── ·𖥸· ── ·𖥸· ── ·𖥸· ── ·𖥸· ── ·𖥸· ── ·𖥸· ── ·𖥸· ─

by the time you were supposed to get picked up, you were already yawning. you had dedicated the last hour to getting ready and picking an outfit that was deemed cute enough to make you feel good but still comfortable enough that you felt secure.

though it felt like a sleepy time of year, students were nearly restless. the pressures of exams were relieved on weekends, places around the college town open all night for people to blow off steam.

it happened quickly so you didn't have a moment to reconsider or backtrack, a text of 'here!' and shoving your feet into shoes before dashing to meet your friend in the parking lot.

the car ride was a catch up session, your friend talking about her new friends but you made a quick decision not to tell her about ellie. you weren't exactly sure why, but it was almost like you wanted to keep ellie to yourself. you checked your phone mindlessly and couldn't help but feel let down when nothing new presented on your screen.

the streets were alive and busy, girls huddled together to stay warm despite the lack of coats. the outside was an indication of how busy each bar and club would be, warm with heat and bodies packed inside.

you arrived at your friend's favorite establishment, the environment a stark difference from the comfortable evening you were having in your dorm just a few short hours ago. you pressed your way through a thick crowd, hanging loosely onto the arm of your friend so you wouldn't split up.

drinks were overpriced but you ordered one anyway, something to hold onto but you knew you would probably only finish a little more than half of it if you were dedicated enough.

"i'm gonna meet up with some people, my friends and their friends," your friend explained over the music, quickly resulting in your growing concern.

you wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, you always did, but other people getting involved meant you would be inevitably ditched within the hour. the look on your face gave away your feeling and the girl standing opposite of you had a short patience.

"i wish you would've told me," you tried to reason, not wanting to look or sound pathetic.

"it doesn't matter," she shook her head. "they're nice, it'll be fun."

fun.

'fun' ended up being the act of standing awkwardly in the back because they wouldn't make enough room for you in the circle. 'fun' apparently was listening to them tell the same story over and over, yet talk over you every time you tried to speak too.

forced to be a wallflower, you stood with your back against the wall as you observed other people dancing. you could almost be content like this... the music was loud and the lighting was dark. the combination seemed like it would be an anxiety nightmare, but it was actually the opposite. you could stand there, completely unnoticed, hidden by the atmosphere.

you really could've been okay with it, until your eyes were drawn to your friend pointing at you. you stood up straight, thinking she was beckoning over, until you realized exactly what she was doing. she had been dancing with a guy that night, and that guy seemingly had a friend. she was pointing you out to the friend, pushing him to join you. he started walking in your direction and your stomach filled with dread. you didn't want to be in this situation, and you certainly didn't want to make small talk with some guy.

you tried to look busy, quickly pulling out your phone and looking anywhere else. against your silent praying, the guy stood over you.

"hey," he said, leaning too close to your ear and you ducked your head away. he smelled like alcohol and cologne that was sprayed too many times. you tried a polite smile but it came out like a wince.

"can i buy you a drink?"

you answered his question by holding up your cup, hand tightly covering the opening of the top. you had only taken a few sips of it, not able to stand the taste.

"how many?" he pressed, pointing to your cup.

"what?" your face scrunched in confusion.

"how many drinks have you had?" he clarified with a laugh that you didn't return.

"one. this is my first," you informed him flatly.

he made a face like he was pretending to be let down and your stomach turned. "only one? come on girl, you need more than that."

you outwardly groaned, rolling your eyes as you pushed yourself off of the wall. "i'm going to the bathroom. bye."

"want me to hold your drink?" he called after you, agitated and loud.

you ignored him and stepped carefully through the crowd, not wanting to stand too closely to any men or accidently bump any dancing girls. you were hyper focused on the restroom sign and the way the music pounded in your ears, muttering to yourself when you felt a hand wrap around your arm.

you immediately tensed, your blood running cold but your body feeling hot simultaneously. was this guy seriously grabbing you right now?

short tempered and fuming, you loudly spat "fuck off," as you angrily whipped around, only to be met with horrified green eyes, freckles, and auburn hair.

letting go as quickly as she had reached for you, ellie dropped her hand. "shit, sorry, i-"

you quickly cut her off, apologizing profusely.

"ellie, oh my god, i am so sorry," you stressed, heart sinking when she took a step away from you.

"sorry, i really shouldn't have done that," ellie mumbled, wincing. you nearly didn't hear her, the music was too loud.

she had on a loose flannel, unbuttoned down the middle and her converse. you were sure that her horrified expression matched your own, and you wanted nothing more than to sink into the floor.

"i'm so sorry," you repeated. "i thought you were someone else and-"

"i'm sorry, i called your name but-"

you kept talking over each other, rushing awkward apologies. ellie shifted on her feet, her cheeks red.

"sorry," you mentioned again, defeated. "there was this guy, and..."

"a guy," ellie repeated quietly, her expression unreadable.

"yeah," you pushed on, glancing over ellie's shoulder. he was watching you now, remaining where you left him. gross. "i was trying to get away from him and i didn't hear you, i had no idea, i'm so sorry ellie."

she laughed dryly as she recovered but your face still stung with embarrassment. "it's alright," ellie reassured you, turning her head to briefly spot the guy you had glanced at. "are you here with him?" she asked curiously.

you quickly shook your head, rolling your eyes to express your disgust. "no," you emphasized. "i'm here with my friend but... i don't know," you laughed bitterly, finally taking a moment to let it sink in that you had ran into ellie here.

"i don't know why i'm here," you felt the need to say.

ellie nodded with a short laugh. "tell me about it."

you raised an eyebrow but didn't press it, still feeling like you needed to collect yourself. you could stand and talk with ellie forever, but you seriously needed to regroup.

"hey, um, i'm gonna run to the bathroom," you explained.

"come find me when you're done?" ellie offered, green eyes scanning your face. she pointed to an area by the bar, showing you where you could find her.

your nerves didn't stand a chance, overpowered by the overwhelming desire to be close to her. you nodded, your smile genuine for the first time that night.

before you could return on your path to the bathroom, ellie spoke again. "do you want me to hold onto that for you?" she offered, gesturing to the drink in your hand.

"oh, yeah, thanks ellie." you passed it over and she covered the top with her hand automatically, a simple thing that made your heart swell.

"i'll be there, alright?" she guaranteed, her eyes never leaving yours. you nodded once and parted ways, quickly heading to the bathroom.

you dashed for an empty sink, running cold water over your hands as you stared at your reflection. you couldn't figure out why, but you felt weird about running into ellie here. you suddenly wondered who she was here with, or was she here alone?

pushing out a deep breath, you turned off the water and dried them with a paper towel. you felt dizzy, like you were in a state in between sleeping and being awake.

"this," you mumbled to your reflection, "this is why you don't go out."

once you had worked up the courage, you emerged from the bathroom and scanned your surroundings. the girl you came with was dancing with the guys and her friends. feeling secure in the fact that you wouldn't be missed, you went to look for ellie but you didn't have to search for long.

ellie was exactly where she had said she would be, leaning against the bar with her hand protectively covering your drink. she seemed to be keeping an eye out for you because when your eyes locked, she waved you over.

you didn't bother to try and contain your grin as you made your way over, but your confidence was short lived when a pretty girl with dark hair leaned over, talking in ellie's ear.

oh.

whatever the girl said had made ellie laugh, and you faltered in your step. of course she was here with someone. of course she had other friends, (a girlfriend?) other people that she actively talked to and hung out with. you would've been stupid for thinking otherwise, you just hadn't thought about it much.

you didn't want to interrupt, but ellie caught your eye again. she raised her eyebrows, curiously, waiting. taking a deep breath, you pressed on, slowly coming to her side.

ellie handed your cup over and you accepted, taking a drink for courage.

"welcome back," ellie mused, a small smile gracing her lips.

you glanced at the girl standing on the other side of ellie, the liquid in her cup a vibrant color. ellie followed your eyes and made a face of realization, pulling the girl into the conversation.

almost sounding sheepish, she introduced her. "this is my friend dina, and... jesse," ellie craned her neck around but 'jesse' was elsewhere. you nodded anyway, smiling in dina's direction.

"hi, it's nice to meet you," you said, genuinely, despite your heart pounding in your chest.

"likewise! i've heard so much about you," dina replied, eyes bright and smiling.

ellie's eyes widened and your eyebrows shot up, taken aback by dina's introduction. you glanced at ellie but she was already composed.

"really?" you asked, truly surprised.

dina laughed and changed the subject. "jesse complains about coming but yet it's impossible to keep an eye on him," she expresses in response. "it was so nice meeting you," dina smiles at you once more and quickly squeezes ellie's shoulder before disappearing, presumably to find 'jesse.'

you take another drink and ellie clears her throat, music filling the silence. "where's your friend?" ellie questions.

you hum thoughtfully and scan the faces of all of the dancing people until your eyes land on her group. "there," you nod in their direction, trying not to sound bitter.

"are they all your friends? do you want me to go meet them?" ellie asks, watching them for a moment before gazing at you, eyes flickering over your face.

"no," you reply quickly, flatly.

"okay then," ellie laughs, tilting her head to peer at your expression. she brushes a strand of hair out of her face and it's hard not to watch, to not be entranced by every slight movement and expression she makes.

once again, you're thankful for the lighting, or lack thereof, and for the music. for some reason it feels like less pressure, which you appreciate.

"oh god," ellie mumbles, drawing your attention. she wraps her tattooed arm around your waist, gently pulling you closer to her side. your breath hitches and you tense up, but her arm is then back by her side, the ghost of her touch electrocuting your senses. "watch out," she says, nodding to an older man making his way to the bar.

your eyebrows draw together in confusion as ellie watches the man in disgust, but you're more focused on the fact that her arm was just around you for about three seconds.

you take a slow drink, watching as the man leans down to talk to several girls crowded around the bar. it seems nearly harmless though a little odd, he's definitely the oldest person in the room as everyone else is college aged. you turn to ellie, confused, but she nudges your arm to keep watching.

he puts his arms around the girls, his hands going way too low, signaling the bartender to give them drinks with a flick of his hand.

you face ellie, eyes wide and mouth agape. she nods in disgust, but slightly amused at your expression.

"he's the owner," she explains. "he's so gross... people flirt with him because if he likes you, you're set with free drinks. he's just... gross."

"why are you here?" you question, frowning.

"dina likes to dance," ellie says simply.

"and you?"

"no," ellie laughs quickly.

"i definitely wasn't expecting to run into you here," you admit, running your finger along the rim of your plastic cup.

"yeah? i wasn't expecting you either." ellie watches you carefully, thoughtful in expression but casual in demeanor.

"excuse me ladies," a gruff voice cuts through. you snap your head up and meet the eyes of the owner, chewing your bottom lip nervously as his eyes drag across you and ellie. he contemplates ellie for a moment before setting his gaze on you, frowning.

"aren't you warm in that, sweetheart?" he slurs out, indicating to the sweater you're wearing. ellie places a gentle hand on your shoulder, making a face at the man from over your shoulder.

"i'm just fine," you remark.

he doesn't like your answer, but you didn't say anything rude so he can't lecture you. he stares at you, unmoving, and decides to give you one last chance.

"what're you drinking there?" he questions, shuffling closer to get a better look. he makes like he's expecting you to bat your eyelashes at him, and ellie tugs you backwards into her.

"let's go dance," she murmurs into your ear. your face gets hot and her hands are on your shoulders, walking behind you and guiding you away from the bar. you leave your drink on the counter, unwanted.

once you're far enough away, she gently halts you to a stop. your skin is burning from the contact and you turn to face her, trying to be lighthearted. "i thought you don't like to dance?"

the corners of her mouth turn up and you give in, absolutely folding in her presence. you leave about a foot of space in between your bodies, but loosely and awkwardly wrap your arms around her shoulders. it makes ellie nervously laugh, and she hesitates before carefully placing her hands at your waist. it's your turn to laugh now, fully aware of how ridiculous you must look. you obnoxiously sway to the side, putting your weight onto one foot and then the other, threatening to make each other fall over with the abrupt movements. it's a stark contrast to the way everyone else is moving to the music, but you're both genuinely laughing so you leave it be.

you can see your previous group in the corner of your eye and nerves wash over you again, feeling shy at ellie's playful touch. suddenly you feel guilty for harboring a secret crush on the girl, feeling as if you've crossed some sort of boundary. you steady yourself but it's hard to breathe with ellie so close, staring at your eyes and your lips and your eyes again... or did you imagine it? obviously not, but certainly you're reading into it? making something out of nothing?

ellie coughs, flustered. you both stop 'dancing,' dropping your arms and facing each other straight on.

"hey," you say, your face scrunching in confusion, "i thought you were working on the study guide tonight."

your comment makes ellie recover and she breathes out a laugh in surprise, even though you were being serious.

"i thought you were working on the study guide tonight."

you frown and ellie rolls her eyes, shaking her head at you in pretend disappointment. "work on it with me tomorrow then," she tells you, nearly surprising herself with how quickly it came out.

her voice is like honey, making it impossible to pull away from her, even mentally.

"really?" you eye her suspiciously.

she nods and shrugs, and you promise to think it over. standing this close to ellie felt dangerous to the small amount of confidence you tried to build up. she smelled almost earthy, a warm deep scent, maybe a touch of vanilla and... weed?

a hand brushed your waist but it wasn't ellie's, the body stepping into view. the guy from earlier that your friend had sent over came around to stand next to ellie, his eyelids heavy.

"what the fuck, dude?" ellie questioned sharply.

"i was watching you dance," he mused, glancing at you and then ellie. it was hardly even dancing, you were just making each other laugh, so your skin crawled with the idea of that guy watching with ill intent.

"okay, go watch someone else," ellie shot back, her tongue sharp.

you glanced around, catching sight of your friend from earlier. she was watching the interaction, as if it were encouraged, and gave you a thumbs up. you exhaled in disbelief, turning your attention back to ellie. she was staring the guy down, brows furrowed.

"you ladies wanna dance with me or what?" he was cocky, drunk, and standing way too close.

"fuck off," ellie spat, a lot like how you did earlier when you thought that he was the one who grabbed your arm.

he stood in disbelief, unmoving, so you grabbed ellie's hand and dragged her away.

"they should be banned from public places," you grumble. ellie snorts, features immediately softening as she turns to you.

"this is ridiculous. do you wanna get out of here?"

at her proposition, your heart leaps. you definitely do, but the idea terrifies you nonetheless. despite yourself, you automatically nod.

"let me go find dina and jesse, see if they're gonna leave or stick around longer. wanna come with?"

you almost say yes but shake your head instead. "i should go tell the person i came with that i'm leaving, just in case."

ellie nods in understanding. she starts to turn away but stops short, eyes boring into your own. "meet me right by the entrance, okay? i'll be quick."

it's your turn to signal your understanding now, and you head back through the crowd to find your... friend. it's pretty easy to spot her but not to gain her attention.

"hey. hey, i'm gonna go, alright?"

she whips around at you, confused. "you're leaving?"

"yeah."

"are you gonna be safe?"

despite being ignored and ambushed with a creepy guy, you smile at her concern. it's the bare minimum, really, but it's appreciated.

"yeah," you repeat. "it's... a friend from class. she's good. safe," you express.

you say your goodbyes and head straight for the doors like you agreed with ellie. you’re only waiting alone for a moment before she joins you, car keys in hand. dina and jesse aren’t following, and instantly you feel like an idiot.

“oh my god, ellie, i totally sabotaged your night.”

“what? no you didn’t,” ellie disagrees.

you push through the doors together, greeted by harsh winds. the cold evening air was shocking as it hit your face, self doubt washing over you.

"you were just trying to have a fun night with your friends and i... i'm such an idiot," you mutter.

"whoa, hey, you're alright," ellie presses softly. she stops walking to look at you, but looks as though she has to work up the courage before she continues speaking. "i'm glad you here were, alright? dina and jesse are fine."

your face is burning and she hesitates again, but the worry expressed on your face causes ellie to continue on.

"honestly i was getting ready to leave before i saw you," she admits, looking in any direction away from you.

you beg and plead with yourself not to read into it, but why did she hesitate? why would you be nervous to tell that to someone who's just a friend? are you reading too much into it, or are you friendzoning yourself?

"ellie," you breathe, and she finally brings her attention back to you. the wind howls through the night, whipping your hair across your cheeks. your heart beats quicker but ellie grows reserved, adjusting her weight on her feet.

"i'll drive you to your dorm," she tells you as she beings walking once more. you quickly follow behind, in a trance of wondering and wanting.

it felt different from before, different from sitting next to her in class and different from studying together. what was usually light hearted jokes and easy conversation was replaced by a thick cloud of nerves, a tension that conjured itself out of nowhere and you desperately wanted to crack a joke but you felt shy.

you were texting a lot lately, you had some serious late night conversations about your families, stressors, lives, anything to get to know each other but this was different. ellie seemed almost solemn now, guarded, and you were worried that you had gotten too comfortable too quickly.

you worried as you walked to the car and you worried as she drove. ellie did exactly as she said she would and you arrived safely to your building, but your feet were glued to the ground as you reached the door and you desperately wanted to selfishly stay with her, just a little longer.

"thanks for pretty much saving me tonight," you stated earnestly. "it sucked before you found me, i'm glad you did."

ellie's smile was crooked and sincere and a wave of relief washed over you. "see you tomorrow?" she asked, her eyebrows drawing up to her forehead.

"the study guide will be completed," you affirm, grinning back at the auburn haired girl.

you heave open the door to your building and ellie steps back to the car, but you call after her one final time. "text me when you're home safe," you urge her, and you can't see the smile that graces her face.

"i will," ellie promises, and she did.

after cleaning up you fall into bed, exhausted, but your mind is racing. you turn to your side, facing the wall that is decorated with two sticky notes. you lightly trace ellie's drawings with your finger, willing yourself to go to sleep so you won't be absolutely miserable with a lack of sleep by the morning.

you were seeing her again, tomorrow, and nothing else at that moment mattered.

not your endless piles of homework, or the way you were ditched tonight. not the fact that the weather was getting colder by the day and you still couldn't find your earmuffs, or that one of your finals was going to take place at 7am.

nothing else mattered... just ellie.

[ part five ]

[lunarheslwt]

Hi! Welcome to fic recs....of fics I've read over the past couple months ! I had started out doing these monthly but then life happened and I didn't read tons so basically here's everything I've read and loved over like 6-8 months? wanted to put them together for the last 28th appreciation of the year, so here they are! Click on the links for full tags and summaries. If you read any of these make sure to show the authors some love by leaving kudos and comments!

⚡️Outside in the summertime by @dreamersdivin-headfirst

(2.2k | E | pwp)

Louis’ eyebrows shoot up in recognition, his lips curling into a smug smile. He brings his hand up to his mouth, taking a long drag, cheeks hollowing. His eyes never leave Harry as he blows out the smoke, the joint almost burnt out. Louis says nothing as he takes a last hit, holding the smoke in his mouth as he taps the end of the joint on the ashtray beside him. He beckons Harry closer with his hand, and Harry goes.

Thoughts: one word - beard burn. Why aren't you reading already?

⚡️Five zero five by @nooradeservedbetter

(2.5k | E | choking kink)

“So,” says Harry, and his fingers trail on Louis’ jaw, over his exposed neck. “I heard your cover tonight. Arctic Monkeys, really nice.” His fingers linger on Louis’ neck, stroke the Adam’s apple. (Or, they told us all they have a choking kink.)

Thoughts: stupidly hot, Louis is singing about being choked so really why wouldn't you read this

⚡️Like a fire burning in your veins by @nooradeservedbetter

(2.8k | E | pain play pwp)

But first kinks are never forgotten, so to speak, and Harry can’t help but go back to them, alone and with Louis, over and over again. Can’t help but ask for bruises and pinches and slaps, can’t help but get on his knees in a bathroom stall, mouth full of dick while Louis bites on his fingers to avoid screaming. (Or, the one with the pain.)

Thoughts: it's Harry and pain kink and hot smut and great look into his internal mindset literally what more do you want

⚡️Take the moment and taste it by @hellolovers13

(6.4k | E | meet cute and smut)

“You made him a bracelet?”

“Yeah. It’s a whole thing, people make these friendship bracelets and trade them at the shows. I got a bunch from fans while I was there, but I wanted to give Harry one, with my number on it.”

“Your number as in 28, your squad number, or your phone number?”

Louis smirked. “You know which one.”

or, Louis didn't get the chance to give Harry his bracelet in person, but Harry isn't one to leave fate alone.”

Thoughts: obsessed, cheeky Harry is such a delight, some of my fav characters I've ever read and fav smut I've ever read

⚡️True blue by maroonmoonlouis

(23k l E l established relationship)

Louis and Harry are the most codependent couple. Harry's life purpose is to take care of his omega & Louis' is to be doted on. After a few too many jabs from their friends and coworkers, Louis is determined to show Harry that he's capable of surviving on his own while Harry is certain that Louis is going to break up with him at any moment.

Thoughts: perfect, they are sickening and you'll love it, couldn't get enough of it

⚡️Let your damage, damage me by @outropeace

(57k / E / regency arranged marriage au)

A low and dangerous growl was ripped from the future King’s chest. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” the alpha snarled, eyes dark and nostrils flared. Even as anger rushed through him at the alpha’s brutish display, Louis felt breathless at the intense gaze of the man that was going to be his future mate. ‘Tomorrow I’m going to be under all that. He will be inside me, all muscles and rage.’ Louis felt his cheeks heat again, but refused to be cowed. So he put his best smirk on display, the one alphas despised to see, the one that assured them all he had the upper hand. “Thought you were expecting me, dear husband. I’m your future mate.”

Thoughts: I don't even have words actually, its perfect, I'll think about her for ages and firmly in my top5 fics.

⚡️Men of Steel, Men of Power by @nooradeservedbetter

(58k / E / political abo?)

Louis has one goal: survive this year unscathed to complete his grand plan, for which he has sacrificed his family, his friends. His identity. he's not expecting Alpha Harry, who manages to get under his skin and inside his heart. He suddenly has a lot more to lose, and a lot less control.

Thoughts: incredible plot, made me feel many feelings, layered characters and a story you can't put down. Bonus: animalistic sex?

⚡️Catch me if I fall by @shimmeringevil

(18k / E / enemies to lovers)

Lovers when on the stage but bitter rivals as soon as they step off, Harry and Louis have butted heads from the moment they first met. Locked in a stalemate that they hope to ride out until graduation, things take a turn when Harry learns that Louis is hiding a secret.

Thoughts: the enemies part? chef's kiss. The enemies with sexual tension part? chef's kiss. The sweet sweet lovers part? also chef's kiss. all of it really.

⚡️Don't want no other shade of blue by @louisisworthit

(30k / E / royalty aranged marriage au)

It was foretold that Alpha Prince Harry would be mated to a beautiful male omega with eyes that could rival the stone amethyst, but Omega Prince Louis refuses to believe it.

Thoughts: their banter is unmatched, Harry is the sweetest little character and they're perfect just like this story is.

⚡️Makes me feel alive by @itsnotreal

(8k / E / pain kink)

Louis hated when people came in to get tattooed and couldn’t sit still— bunch of fucking squares is what they were. If only that had been the issue for his newest client.

Thoughts: you cannot go wrong with a tattoo artist au ft pain kink. Naturally this is hot as hell so do yourself a favor!

⚡️But when we kiss by @indiaalphawhiskey

(24k / E / age difference, sugar daddy au)

Louis only nodded, still smiling. “Right, okay. As much fun as this has been, I really doubt the lovely heated seating of my car will dull our banter. Or...” he dragged out the ‘r’, eyes mischievous. “Are you really going to let a…” he assessed Harry. “Twenty? Twenty year gap,” he confirmed. “Be the reason you get hypothermia? Is that really the hill you want to freeze on, Mr. Principled?” –– Or, while Harry and Louis adore the chase, they find they adore each other much, much more.

Thoughts: listen I love everything I read from this author. It left me gasping for air in the middle of the night and I don't have enough words for how perfect it is in every way. If I try I'll write an essay. Go read.

⚡️Vine ripe by @bluestgrey

(11k / E / mommy dom H, sub top L)

after a night out, Harry and Louis have a little fun.

Thoughts: Top 5 smut i have ever read, what are you doing if you haven't read it, so fucking hot and perfect I couldn't breathe etc 10/10

⚡️Apple pie baked just right by @28goldens

(99k / E / cottagecore farm boy x city boy au)

Louis has to get away. The news of his father’s terminal diagnosis, the loss of his job, and the breakup with his girlfriend leads Louis to leave for a life of slower things in the small town of Cedar Hills. His new neighbor is the Cox Family Apple Farm. Harry Styles, the oldest child of the Cox Family, might just teach him how to live life a little simpler, bake an apple pie, and breathe.

Thoughts: perfect, so warm and sweet and like a hot cup of cocoa while winter rages on outside. So comforting, I adored.

⚡️Play by the rules by @shimmeringevil

(21k / E / disaster dom au)

Fed up with the excess energy that’s wreaking havoc on his personal and professional life, Louis asks his boyfriend to dom him in the hopes that it’ll help him relax. Unfortunately, Harry is a bit of a disaster when it comes to being a dom. So, Louis decides to get creative to try and encourage the dominant side out of him.

Thoughts: best characters, the humor is top notch, and they have the most perfect dynamic. its a shimmeringevil fic, you don't wanna miss out.

⚡️Your eyes outshine the town by @insightfulinsomniac

(19k / E / christmas fic)

When a freak French snowstorm traps Harry's family in Paris, he's suddenly left flying home for a Christmas spent alone. However, everything changes after a chance encounter with an undeniably attractive, generous alpha who suggests that Harry join his family's Christmas celebrations. Against his better judgment, Harry agrees, and follows Louis back to Doncaster for the holidays. Little does he know, he'll not only become attached to the alpha, but to his entire family. Maybe his Christmas won't be as lonely as he expected. Complete and utter fluff ensues. Sappy Christmas tropes abound.

Thoughts: so utterly sweet and soft, perfect for the holidays but also if you're looking for the equivalent of hot cocoa on a rainy day. I adored it

I honestly wish I had read more, and hopefully next year I'll have actual monthly recs and more fics I devour. I'd like to send so much love to all fic writers who created something this year and even more to those that may have struggled this year. Your passion and work gives so much joy and fulfilment to so many. I'll love you forever, I hope the next year brings you so much creativity and good vibes. Anyways if you check these out please show the writers some love.

Happy new year (in advance!)

[jetblackromance]

Lately I've been seeing a lot of posts about people reading Neil as being completely exy obsessed, not caring about anything else (including his own possible death).

And that's funny to me because I've never read him like that?😅 just wondering if I'm alone with this but:

In my head, Neil doesn't actually care about exy.

It's about what exy represents to him:

Exy is what his brain latched onto when he had nothing else. Playing exy is probably one of his happiest childhood memories. Then, when they were on the run, to distract himself, he probably thought of exy to escape the real world. He obsessively followed news about Kevin and Riko. It became his coping mechanism to escape from everything that was going on in his real life. Because if he had focused on his daily life, he would have gone insane. No child can grow up normally while being on the run.

So I don't think he actually cares about exy per se. It's just that exy is the only thing that let's him forget. It's the only thing he feels like he can control. If he practices a lot, he'll get better. If he makes his teammates get along, they'll have a better chance of winning the next game. Winning the next exy game is a goal he can actually accomplish if he works hard.

Meanwhile trying not to get caught by his father's men is out of his control. He tried to stay hidden for some time. But without his mother by his side, he had to carry the weight of his decisions all by himself. He had to choose which city he'd go to next. And he simply didn't know what would be the best choice, where he'd be the least likely to get caught. There were no guarantees. So, he was doing what he thought was best but had no way to know whether he was making the right choice. And let's not forget he was only a teenager still!! And he literally had to make choices that could result in his own death. That's a lot of stress for a teen. And despite having to make choices on a daily basis, he had zero actual control about whether he'd get caught or not. It was mostly just luck. So why bother trying to stay on the run?

So, he gives in and starts playing exy, which is probably the only interest he allowed himself to have. And suddenly he had full control over his life again. Going to high school? He could manage that. Signing up for exy? He'd ace the try-outs and have a first whiff of a sense of achievement after years of nothing but angst and stress. Actually playing exy? The more he practiced the better he got, the more goals he scored. Everytime something worked out the way he wanted to, he got hit by endorphins. So his brain latched onto that. He became obsessed with exy.

So, in my head, Neil only likes exy because of the control and distraction it provides him with. It could have been literally anything else. He just needs this one constant in his life, that he can control and that provides him a mental escape when he needs it most.

Am I the only one who thinks that? 😂 or am I maybe misunderstanding all the posts claiming he "wants to play stick ball so fucking bad, he doesn't care how many chances he has to escape certain death" or that "he gave up every rule he ever abided by to play exy".

He doesn't not care about staying alive. He had to fight to stay alive for so long, he just can't think about his father and the mafia any longer without it triggering years of suppressed memories and feelings.

He didn't give up all rules he ever abided by, he was about to break under the weight his mother's rules had put on his shoulders. He gets this first positive experience and he wants more, he gets addicted to exy just like people get addicted to drugs. But he doesn't care about exy, he cares about how exy can make him feel.