#the capitalists ask why don’t ppl want to go back to working

[ramp-it-up]

I wish I could write a fanfic the length of some of these think pieces about the wedding.

Who.

The fuck.

Cares?

[castle-dominion]

castle 5x22 the squab & the quail

hhhhhh this episode reminds me I have work this afternoon screw that. I just prayed an entire rosary so I get to go home early

Ok wow gay servers such a thing, loud chefs, loud expo, GIVE THEM THE GOSHDARN CHIT THO squab & quail DON'T TOUCH THE PLATE LIKE THAT Spray on purpose or...? poison? Ew glass tables

that is a lot of money & pricey af the poison would not work that fast... in a situation like that, point at some SPECIFIC person & tell them to call 911

Girl he's playing a videogame pwned XD he had plans to play with Patel! it's not my mom it's worse XD so true bestie

canadian lol

lmao ew capitalism

clipped the *oof* now

RC: Last supper list. (off their look) You and a table of 12 with anyone from history. What is mine, you ask? I’m glad you did. In order it is, Lincoln, Einstein, Ian Fleming, John Lennon, Joan of Arc, Sinatra – (he notices BECKETT’S face dropping. she sighs) And you, of course. Ok but Joan of Arc MMMMM that smile from ryan XD

at least he holds up a finger nice of him ig HE KNOWS HIS BOOKS

Esposito has returned Lmao ofc it was propped open, u know how hot it gets & how many chefs smoke?

"when you're paying attention" lol

dark hair MAYBE

shouldn't be but it always is RC: Corporate raider shutters a chemical plant and ends up eating crow. Or in this case, poisoned squab. It’s poetic. Diabolically speaking.

Nice outfit on esposito. also ryan. & everyone. Like beckett.

Maybe smth from the carribbean where his family was?

I don't need to clip but Iwill, lanie <3

castle REMEMBERS the menu? maybe ryan just didn't know lol

Lucas, this is the kid who said yes chef & served the plates

Yep all this screaming. I don't want to go to work.

KB: Do you know anyone that would want you dead? Eric Vaugh: No Me: you're a rich capitalist, what are you thinking? he's actually... surprisingly,, considerate

Petra? the indian boy?

PRIVATE security

a heart in the coffee <3 <3 I could clip this but I won't RC: (scoffs) Jealous? (off her amused look) Yes. Yeah he's cool & stuff but I love YOU KB: he is not interested in me VG: hi, he wants u specifically I think it's cool how she wants to recommend specific uniformed officers lol ONLY beckett?

Hit list? clipping this jenny my beloved wow esposito's hair JE: Because at the moment he is stupid drunk. Seeing double. skfjslkdjfsdkfsj RC: To make him the best damn cup of coffee he’s ever had.

He did a background check? good afternoon <3 David Anderson (the attorney): If he gives you any trouble we can put him on investor conference calls all day.

Saxiphone Lanie my beloved freebie five?

Talented researcher bro Beckett's turtleneck <3

I like her outfit & esposito looks kind of boring but nice & ryan looks beautiful I recognize her tbh the room is too dark. The other room needs to be darker for the glass to work

castle rattling the door what is even..?? XD XD XD RC: Okay, so after two cups of coffee, a latte, and three espressos our homeless friend Mr. Hazelton over there finally sobered up. yk i'm clipping

nice transition into the building them walking, rly good

Oof right in the head like that...

OH YES THEY REMEMBERED THE ALLERGY THEY GAVE HIM IN S1 HECK YEAH KR: I’ll live, unlike Cory Harrison. Ok that reminds me, in the The Ring episode, ther was no forced entry for the first vic, they never solved that

Ey beckett is here VG: You and the boys can go back there Mr. Castle. Why kill the busboy after getting him to kill someone else? using one murder to cover up another?

Just like my mom. She trusts me, but not the ppl I'm around castle chill

RC: Let’s get to that restaurant and get some answers. CASTLE leads the way out the door but RYAN and ESPOSITO don’t follow him. They head for their desks. RC: Seriously, guys. I mean it.

is this the same hotel they used in LA?

Sussman? gun ok yeah valid but ew she's right Ooh! Thank you sir! the essential lol, booze & a pretty girl

*hits himself in the eye* you know during The Thing, she coud have said "we were that close because he did a dumb" but the champagne was already poured so it would not have been a good excuse *update* yeah castle visits the hotel at some point after champagne before The Thing

Ooooof, legit? This is new york!

She is going to reveal that!?!? not too much tho ooh architecture! You patented that? I mean,,, you have a reason,, but make it free too bro I have suffered for it XD

Gates is so pretty castle not knowing how to do stuff & ryan doing it for him jashsjdfkjsfdh also castle investigator moments, gates is probably impressed what's on his neck? KB: Oh my gosh. You’re sounding like my dad dropping me off at summer camp. Remember petra tho? JEALOUSY

Tory jdsfdsjflkh I love her See? I mentioned the neck THE PRESCHOOL I was right! POSSIBLE match

Apple XD & alexis <3 Castle don't yell at your daughter MARTHA NOT THE RIGHT THING TO SAY & alexis' shirt martha is sort of right but GIRL SHUP

Wait they said ballistics would take a few hours, why are they still at work? why is CASTLE home? He would be the one to stay as long as possible! why didn't they text the photo last time? JE: Yep. He’s a match for height, age, and placement of creepy neck tattoo.

He really is a charmer except for one thing: why won't you sleep with me? Well you could CALL castle & ask his permission... say "hey I want to sleep with him but I LOVE you & I want your permission, because I respect you & if you say no then I will not" & that might actually be the thing to drive castle to say yes bc she trusts him & loves him & will always come back to him even if she sleeps with this guy. & also castle would be able to say she slept with eric vaughn & still chose me

He dead?

Castle <3 lol she's right KB: Yeah, preferably one without windows that snipers can't shoot through.

KR: Hey Beckett, I hate to do this to you, but I need to take your statement. *taps his notebook* Beckett could have said "actually if he was there I must have been a bit farther back" also it's cool how dever gets to wear his wedding ring (with duplicates of it) on camera bc his character is canonically married. & ryan's wife's actress is married to ryan's actor. Cool af. KR: Right … (he moves to where she gestures) … here. *He looks up and realizes he’s right in BECKETT’S space. He backs up a bit and looks to the hole in the window.* *almost clocks her in the jaw* stumbled you say. ryan taking it down as if he believes her yk rly sus, eats the wrong food, stumbles at the shot, sounds like he knew what was going on. KB: He kissed me castle KR: I'M DONE HERE *leaves*

RC: Well, if he kissed you, why wouldn’t you just push him away? KB: RC: Oh. Which is why he’s not dead.

She's from a farming family? She's a lead researcher. I'm proud of her. Why else would he want toxin? Oh. nvm. rival lab. AFTER the drop? No deposit fee? I would say "one quarter now to know you're good, I give you what you want, the remainder after" or smth.

Going on a tour! WAIT WHAT? HE AUTHORIZED IT? mexicali? she believes him too much girl that's exactly how they make money.

RC: Oh Beckett. That’s what they said about Bernie Madoff. Like Madoff, it’s quite possible Vaughn’s entire empire is a house of cards. If Felder was going to visit MexiSolar he would have found out about the scam. The house of cards would collapse. Eric Vaughn couldn’t have that. And what better way to get away with murder than to make yourself look to be the intended target? Don’t you see? This entire thing is a charade.

RC: Of all the confessions over all the years, this one is going to hold a special place in my heart. the universe demands why not get ryan or esposito?

Right, he doesn't actually look at the things he signs, he doesn't oversee the day-to-day... that's how you become a billionaire. He would NOT have JUST ONE person overseeing, he would delegate. it's like when you're a chef, if you own the place you don't cook. If you are a manager you don't line cook. You delegate to your test kitchen manager, your individual establishment managers, they delegate to their sous chefs & chefs to parties, there is not (usuall) one person who owns the place & then delegates to a single manager, they would delegate to multiple people who are in charge of different things.

RC: Oops yeah digging your own grave b'y

key word: FEEL LIKE you know them right, new york is way closer to the canadian border than mexico. Ooh the music!

Tell him he's on your last supper list. I like his outfit Do you? *tries to catch him in the elevator*

viddy game & a rose. playstation specifically. HE JUST BROKE THE CORD

Just symbolic

Becks, you can ask him again.

Ok I have an extra 12 minutes. Then I have abt half an hour before I need to go to work. Which is stupid. I need to leave for work an hour & a half before my shift!?!? I mean it is a 45 minute bus ride & I need to be there 15m early to change & iron so that's an hour, but my bus either gets there 5 minutes early (or less) or 35 minutes early. So that's another 15min there, & ofc I need to give myself 15m before I leave just in case. That's more like when I stop doing whatever I'm doing & get ready to go. But I might not be able to get it done in 15m so I need to use these 10 extra minutes right now. I need to put on my binder & make sure I have my bus tickets & stuff. Then I can leave. so it's an hour & a half. ew af.

So I might not get started on the next castle, I might instead try to post some of my drafts & clips so I can get space on my phone.

Pray that I get cut early pls.

[unohanadaydreams]

Okay I’m mentally prepared to ramble about the Hell Arc. No panels, just words.

The first blurb is definitely Ukitake speaking and I’d like to think it’s hiding some bitterness and regret, since he’s in hell, but you know I’m not gonna hold on to hope that it’s anything deep.

Orihime being resigned to laundry as well as just NOT knowing where her son is??? I’m sorry the same Orihime that can sense Ichigo like it’s her fucking job? But y’know uwu it’s okay to be a housewife and this is definitely Kubo showing off his depth of feminist theory and not shoving Orihime in the background bc wife clean and cook and nothing else ooga booga.

Kon as a babysitter is horrifying. The implication that they’ve kept him as a teddy bear for all these years is even more so. Like damn you can’t ask Urahara for ONE gigai after you saved the world, Ichigo? Hope youre paying him a living wage for helping you navigate the terrible twos. Tbh I think it would’ve been better to have a new sidekick and for Kon to be working for Urahara now.

Okay I do think the kid sending souls to Hell on accident is pretty funny. But also it’s definitely Kubo forgetting that Orihime is in the picture and Kazui is not Ichigo. He has more than Isshin; he has Orihime as his mom. He has someone who cares very much that he’s still in his bed and is someone he would talk to about uuuuh sending ppl through a portal. I know women are a different species and are incredibly hard to grasp because of that so it’s okay Kubo.

Ichika being taught by Ikkaku and to a lesser extent Yumichika is very good. Love that enough to gloss over my disappointment at Rukia not teaching her. I just know Byakuya is probably a lil bitter about it too. Rukongai rats 1 Noble clan 0

Booooo Kubo, get off the stage. Pointing out Orihime is at home doing laundry does not fix that she’s there. If she’s not gonna stop Kazui from doing whatever the fuck she might as well be eating bad ramen too.

MAYURI MY BELOVED. You’re so right, king, Urahara is a tasteless capitalist unlike you, who fully commits to the too-organic technological horrors the Seireitei deserves.

Did Kubo forget how to draw Rangiku? Why the fuck is her face so moe. Some of the women look pretty off in the face over all but with Rangiku it’s jarring. I know her face got more moe somewhere in tybw arc but jfc it’s worse here.

I find it hard to believe that Shunsui would stick to a tradition that demands all lieutenants be away and in the human world all at once but maybe he just doesn’t give a shit about anything nowadays. Depression is leading the Gotei 13 now.

It’s not a Bleach surprise attack unless a woman is grievously injured right off the bat.

That being said, I do enjoy the two new lieutenants. The hakama shorts are a Choice but they work somehow. Also a zanpakuto being on nails is fun.

Kira and Akon ❤️ I’m glad Kubo retconned the novels so Kira could make his entrance in a hoodie and black tabi. Hope he gets more depressing and bitter moments tho. Also Akon having so much panel space…..I’ll never recover.

Hell Szayel is so fucking horny which is astounding considering like everything he did was a sex joke in Hueco Mundo arc. His sex appeal has aged like fine wine. Also pure comedy that Ichigo can only ask who he is. If only Uryu were there 😔

So did they have ceremonies for Gin and Kaname because if not then???? Like I understand it’s impossible to make this gel 100% bc its not based on anything other than wanting characters to come back as cool demons and is actively working against previous canon but c’mon. They would’ve noticed before this when no ceremony for Gin and Kaname was held and their reishi haunted everyone via molasses rain drops.

That being said, I love love love the concept of characters coming up from Hell with not holes within them but outside them. They do not need to consume others to feel completion, they are consumed to the point of wanting to fill others. Don’t you recognize me? Don’t you see what you’ve done? Don’t you long to fill that hole inside of you, too? All it takes is dying to reach that nirvana of knowing who you are and what you feel in swirling completion. Even fallen, the fruit of knowledge is divine.

I want Ukitake to say he’s glad Shunsui lived to his face while looking so heartbroken that he didn’t get to live too. I want these two to cry across from one another with a flashback to their idyllic youth. I want it *grabby hands*

Sosuke Aizen has disappeared as in dead? Or are they counting ‘out of Seireitei’ as disappeared. Honestly 50/50 whether he’ll have a form of cameo. On one hand he’s incredibly popular, on the other hand Kubo was floundering with him during tybw so I can’t imagine he gives a shit to bring him back.

As far as new lore for hell butterflies goes, I guess we’ll see how interesting it gets but I highly doubt it’s going to get a lot of thought.

With the way Kazui is smiling, it makes me wonder if someone taught him about the shrine and sending souls to hell. Does he recognize the door? Is Kubo implying that Ukitake has had contact with Kazui? I mean, it would make a LOT of sense considering the fish he was riding, the ritual he knows. It would also make sense why the soul reaper badge was highlighted; Ukitake has been around in some capacity before officially being stomped to hell???

Definitely me thinking too much about it but also there’s no way Kazui just knows this shit without someone from Hell telling him about it even covertly.

This entire arc set up definitely seems like it’ll bring some worthwhile angst and maybe some moments for the more unexplored characters if characters like Akon getting screen time is any education.

Overall not hoping for anything other than good Hell designs and seeing characters do things.

If I don’t see Kenpachi with his beefy titties out I will be disappointed. That’s my bare minimum.

[not-poignant]

Hey Pia hope you’re doing well

I was wondering, is the thing where Arden picks up a bunch of random hobbies and commitments a part of his ADHD or does it have like a name?

I’m a highschool student and I get told by all my friends and teachers that I have overcommitment issues and part of it’s just for uni and whatever ofc but it’s also that I want to do ALL THESE THINGS

Like I’m in 4 different science competition teams, the school debating team, school orchestra, scholarship classes, editor of my school newsletter, I lead the school amnesty and unicef clubs plus the IB program and being in the national maths Olympiad team lol and I don’t want to let any of these go but it’s so stressful and I’m so tired and ppl say I have to say no to stuff which is also stressful!

Also, doing more is always portrayed as such a great thing and I feel rlly guilty letting stuff go? So I’m just reaching out because you portrayed it in such a refreshing way and I was really curious!

Firstly, massive respect for your ability to fit this ask into the Tumblr ask limits. Seriously :D

Okay secondly, Arden’s habit of picking up a bunch of random hobbies / commitments is part of his ADHD. People with ADHD have this to different degrees, and my beta in particular relates really hard to this habit of Arden’s.

But actually, one of the reasons I put this in is because this is a very bad habit of mine - which is overcommitting, and overworking. And not wanting to let anything go.

People teach you a lot of skills in your life on how to pick things up, but almost no one teaches you what to do when you have many hobbies you love, and they’re hurting you because you’re working too hard and don’t have time for your loved ones (or to even really have loved ones) as an example. And it absolutely is a crucial skill to learn for people who are dealing with this, though capitalists don’t want you to learn it.

In the media what I see is most folks having no hobbies and someone being ‘oh you have to learn some.’ I liked Arden as a contrast to that ‘no, that’s too many things, put some back.’ Where Arden’s ADHD manifests - though it’s much more controlled than it used to be - is that he desires to spend a lot of money on the thing as soon as he gets into it (because he only wants the best of the best - which wasn’t great when he wasn’t earning much money), and that he starts really hooking into it in an obsessive kind of way. Spending a night making bows for your dog is one thing. Then wanting to spend $500 and start an Etsy store small business is like...from one day of work, not great.

A lot of Arden’s life has involved choosing to let go of things he’s loved doing, for his own sanity. This is something I’ve had to do as well and I fucking hate it, and these are the techniques I’ve developed for myself (and my still frankly overcommitted ass, who has people saying ‘when are you going to do LESS’ all the time to my face).

* Remind yourself that dropping some things now doesn’t mean you’re dropping them forever. It doesn’t have to be permanent. Sometimes it’s good to put a time limit on something. ‘I’m going to drop this for four weeks / four months and put a note/reminder in my phone about it right now.’ Chances are high you are not going to be as interested in that thing in four weeks/four months. (Chances are sadly also high you may have replaced it with something else). Like, there will be science groups you can join for the rest of your life. And debate groups. And newsletters.

(That being said, none of those things count towards our grades in Australia? So I don’t know how much these things are counting towards your grades in general and I’m not going to like, touch that side of things - however overcommitment is a super fast way to do a lot of things not that well, or to suddenly get so sick you can’t do any of the things and then feel terrible while you’re sick, more on that later!).

* Time caps on certain hobbies and activities and commitments. This is to actually shoot my habit of hyperfocusing in the foot. I don’t have time to play piano for four hours, but I’m allowed to play it for ten minutes a day (sometimes more but not often). And ten minutes a day adds up over time. I literally sit down and put the timer on my phone. If say there’s something that meets up twice a week but some people only go once, be one of those people!

* Rate the things based on how they contribute to your a) career and b) quality of life and c) happiness. Anything that rates lower on the list compared to the others (that isn’t like, literal money-making work or literal classes) needs to be dropped.

* Dropping things is just actually one of the hardest parts and there’s no real trick to making this easier. I just remind myself: ‘Just because I can do this thing, and do this thing well, doesn’t mean it’s good or healthy for me to do this thing. I need to spend time with people I care about, and I need rest, and those things matter more even if they feel less like ‘accomplishments.’ I want to care for myself through my hobbies, not punish myself.’ That goes some way in keeping perspective, but look, ngl, it sucks to drop commitments if you have an accomplishment/achievement/job satisfaction addiction. It just sucks.

* Accept that you are going to feel guilty, and that guilt is just an emotion, and it doesn’t mean you’ve done something bad. Look sometimes guilt gets it wrong! Sometimes you feel crushingly guilty just for breaking a bad habit, it’s not useful, you just have to kind of be like ‘huh I’m feeling a lot of guilt for trying to look after myself, that’s really interesting, I guess I can understand that but I’m also going to try and praise myself for doing a great job. Just because this isn’t an obvious kind of achievement, I know I achieved something really big and difficult today.’

* Oh yeah, use achievement and ‘job’ type language for doing things that involve successfully taking care of yourself and your energy levels. Just...sometimes you have to ‘if you can’t beat them join them’ - chances are you’ve never been as kind to yourself or proud of yourself for resting and taking it easy and seeing friends, than you are for taking on too many commitments. So...challenge yourself to be kind to yourself and proud of yourself for resting and taking it easy and seeing friends and committing to less. Trust me, you are never going to forget how to overcommit, and you are never going to become lazy or lax because you dropped a few of the (billion) things that you’re committed to. You can afford to praise yourself for this! And generously!

* Seriously, seriously consider seeing doctors or psychologists about this. Despite a TON of PTSD, I actually see my therapist most for working too hard and overcommitting. We spend a lot of time talking about why I might not be the worst person in the world for taking a break. Take it seriously. Your list alone made me feel like I was about to have a panic attack, lmao, your friends and teachers are right, you have overcomittment issues.

* Workaholicism and work addiction is real. There is a growing amount of information about how to deal with it and it’s worth googling.

***

Er anyway that’s what I do. It doesn’t always work. I have a lot of rules in place and I abandon half of them about halfway through the year and then s u f f e r. And have been doing that for over 25 years and I’m going to say bluntly now - it’s why I’m as sick as I am, and some of that sickness is irreversible. If nothing else, if you want to stay as active as you are now, I do not recommend that anyone push themselves so hard that they can no longer even do things that they enjoy on a regular basis, because they’re too physically debilitated to manage it, because they pushed their bodies too hard during the university years and just after. Because that is 100% why I became so sick in the first place.

And even extremely healthy people who have no history of chronic illness often develop something, in conjunction with years and years of working too hard or overcommitting. I’ve seen it happen to far too many of my friends, and you might feel like ‘just another six months’ or ‘just another three years’ but you’d be surprised how quickly you can go from ‘I’m doing it I’m doing it’ to ‘I keep getting migraines all the time doctor how do I fix this so I can go back to working as hard as I was before’ and your doctor being like ‘...yeah this isn’t curable. I’m going to give you some meds, that all come with horrible side effects, and you simply can’t do what you were doing before.’ Game over.

Trust me, that shit catches up with your body always. It might not be now, and I hope frankly it’s never, but overcommitment and workaholicism are the two fastest ways I know to chronic illness and once you get there, you can’t work your way out of it again.

Though god knows I have tried.

[beesatthedisco]

How does this even work...

Okay, so I’ve been on tumblr since before the first time they very slightly changed the shade of blue and I hope that in and of itself is enough to help y’all know... I’m ancient. (I’m 27, and will only rp with ppl 18+, sorry friendos)

Somehow, despite being on tumblr and despite having made about a million accounts for various things in my day, I’ve not made an RP account, and don’t really know how to get started. I guess I’m just gonna put down what I know about myself and what I’m looking for here and hope for the best, but I’d be open to any kind of protips from those of you who have been using tumblr to find rp for much longer.

RIP to your eyes ahead of time, this is a long post. If you want to skip to the part where I share my Original plots, pairings, and fandom cravings, please just scroll to the end and accept my humble apologies. (Highkey I copied this out of my google doc, don’t shoot me.)

I enjoy writing both original plots and fandom stuff. When RPing within a fandom setting, I'm open to playing as canons, as ocs, or any combination of both. I'm open to co-creating settings inspired but not based in fandoms, and open to playing AU or canon settings as well. When originals are involved, I prefer co-creating our worlds together, so we're both invested in the landscape that our characters inhabit. Speaking of characters- I'll play as any gender and in any pairing type- I hope that this is the same for you. I love writing a broad spectrum of characters to keep things interesting for myself and to practice viewing the world through different perspectives. I feel it's difficult to do this when being forced or pigeonholed into writing as a gender you DEMAND of me. However... I can be flexible, and if your ideas are interesting enough, I may just give you what you ask for anyways, haha. I'm perfectly open to playing multiple characters, whether it's a broad interactive cast of mains and background characters, a system of noninteracting or separate sets of doubles, triples, you name it, or whatever other configuration of multiple-character-playing you prefer.

I'm not too terribly concerned about post lengths and am open to writing with people who might be new to the RP scene. I'm pretty flexible about how much I'll write. A good rule of thumb for myself is that I tend to respond with more when I have more to work with. That doesn't always mean that there are more words on your post for me to respond to; instead, I mean that if your post has enough ideas, inspiration, and momentum, I can go buckwild with my posts. My comfort zone seems to be around 4-6 paragraphs per post, but I've been known to write either a lot more in particularly thrilling rps. If I'm writing a huge post- don't feel daunted or expected to match length. I love all sized posts!!! I'm just overly enthusiastic and get carried away sometimes. (This means you can also at any time tell me to chill out on how much I'm writing. ) When it comes to writing style, I only have a few hard expectations of you- I do not engage in roleplay featuring the 'would' style of writing. (For example: "She would pick up the rock and inspect it closely.") I don't exactly know why I dislike this tense so much, but it pulls me right out of the immersion of writing/reading and tends to entirely destroy my interest in the story. I'm sorry. Next, I care at least a little about punctuation and spellchecking. If you're roleplaying online, you have access to ways to make sure that you're not just submitting gibberish. If you need help finding those resources... feel free to ask!

I'm open to the idea of making profiles for our characters, but I'm okay without making them too. I'm also vaguely ambivalent to 'beautifying' our posts, should we do them somewhere that allows that sort of thing. I'm fine with any style of reference images, or with not using them at all. I can't promise I won't send you songs and images and memes that remind me of our story, though! Also- I'm super down for dice systems if we decide to go that route (and prefer dice systems if we include combat of any variety in our story.) I love romance, but it doesn't necessarily have to be the drive of our plot if that's not your style. My favorite genres to write in are science fiction, any variety of fantasy, horror, drama, historical settings, wild western settings, and mysteries.

Last but not least, I tend to like making friends with my writing partners. I prefer writing with people I actually get along with, so for me, the plotting phase is the most important. It helps me get to know your personality a bit more, and you mine, so we both know whether or not it's a good match to write long term! I'll write on most platforms, so let's discuss what makes the most sense for us. Finally, I generally only write with folks 18+, for the safety of everyone involved. Thanks for understanding.

Well, as I said, I've got a big ol list of ideas, if any of this strikes you as 'good writing friend' material, so send me a DM and I'll get back to you asap! Feel free to share your ideas too!!!

Original Ideas

- There's something dire down in the mines to the east of this old Western town. Folks keep goin' in to investigate, disappearin' for days at a time, then comin' back all different-like with the lights gone from their eyes. What could be happenin' out there, sheriff? (horror/western)

- A high-fantasy world's balance is shattered when the source of magic is destroyed. How will the people of this mystical land navigate a now mundane life, and how can they survive when so many magical devices go defunct and awry?

- A no-magic world is suddenly spun into chaos: an apocalyptic event leads to the sudden introduction of magic into a world that had previously never known it. In the post-apocalyptic (and mystically-charged) ashes of a world that once was, how do the survivors compete for resources and control?

- A star falls from the sky! They're rare, and it's dangerous to be one. Are you the star, hunted and lost? Or are you someone who finds a star?

- A lich (my character) is rumored to live in the castle at the foot of the mountains, only a mile or so from your town. It's said they're a true villain, the worst of the worst... but what is the truth?

-Arranged Marriages between physical embodiments of the seasons or planets

- There's something dire down in the mines to the east of this old Western town. Folks keep goin' in to investigate, disappearin' for days at a time, then comin' back all different-like with the lights gone from their eyes. What could be happenin' out there, sheriff? (horror/western)

-A sailor, pirate, or other seafarer keeps noticing the same shape in the waters near their ship. After a terrible storm, the ship wrecks… now, one’s a mermaid, one’s a sailor, and they’re both idiots trying to find their way back home.

-Disaster has struck! A grisly assassination attempt leads a bodyguard to quickly usher their liege to safety. Drama ensues!

-Stowaways, and the people who catch 'em!

- Androids and more androids! Or... androids and non-androids!

-In a dwindling-magic world, those who cling to the olde magicks and the old way of living struggle against the new capitalist society and its nonmagic technology. In one still-magickal neighborhood where our story takes place, shopkeepers fight against nonmagickal gentrification in an effort to keep their businesses, communities, and traditions alive.

- A wandering traveler gets caught in a storm and chances upon an abandoned home, castle, or manor.... oh no!

- A train hopping crust punk encounters the ghost of a fellow train-hopper who fell under the rails and died.

- A living person's computer, gaming device, or phone is inhabited by a flirty ghost!

- There's a friendly but sad ghost living in a living person's new home! (Can you tell I like ghosts?)

Original (and corny) pairing ideas

fairy or elf / vampire or other dark creature

vampire / human

god / mortal

demon / angel or other dark/light archetypical pairings

dragon / humanoid

naval captain / stowaway

mob boss / citizen

superhero / supervillain

serial killer / investigator

serial killer / citizen

Bounty hunter/outlaw

outlaw/sherriff

outlaw/outlaw

farmhand/outlaw

Current Fandom Interests/Cravings

Pokemon - preferably with ocs and in a custom setting ft. all the ‘mons/us playing as humans

Elder Scrolls - pls, i’m craving this almost more than anything, and have been for years

Red Dead Redemption - it is cowboy time now

Legend of Zelda - i have a couple of cute ideas for this!

Avatar/Legend of Korra

Labyrinth - please please please someone play jareth for me, ill give you my firstborn in exchange

Star Wars - currently a little burned out on playing as kylo for everyone, so please don’t ask me to be him dlfkjdslfj

Game of Thrones

Lord of the Rings

Night in the Woods

Brutal Legend - does anyone but me remember this??? Omfg lets rp in this setting PLS

The Dragon Prince

[dxxtruction]

eps2.5h4ndshake.sme

Mr Robot: Season 2 episode 7

Episode and character analysis 

This episode is about connecting but also about deceiving. 

—

Joanna

—

The episode starts with a flashback, constructed to not look like one at first (I think this mirrors the bigger reveal at the end up the episode “things aren’t as they appear”).

Joanna looks to have brought in a Sephora bag with her (idk what other places use that stripe design on bags) and a gift has been left on the counter which contain earrings, she can be seen wearing once we jump to the present (She keeps part of Tyrell around, the things he was able to provide her with. The gift giving between them is they’re like way of showing affection. This can’t happen in the same way between her and her new lover, but she’s also willing to commit to him (for now). She even gives him a gift for his birthday to show that.) (Birthdays come up like twice in this episode and I’m not sure why but it means they’re cancers.)

This whole scene is very WHITE, even Tyrell is wearing a bright suit, and everyone at the work party is as well wears white/light gray. White is fairly symbolic of the upper class for several historical reasons, it could also represent a purer time within their relationship. Yet another thought I had goes to the rule about Labor Day, the history of which stems from creating inner class divisions between old and new money. The “rules” which determine being an insider or not. Contextually I think this makes some sense, it could even be a Labor Day event (Joanna getting back from Labor Day shopping at Sephora?). At the party The Wellick’s and the Knowles’ talk with Price who mentions Tyrell’s climbing of positions towards CTO. Him (and Joanna) becoming more a part of the “exclusivity” being introduced through Price to others within his circle like Knowles. (It’s their sort of “handshake” if you will.)

Outside the flashback, present. An old woman comes up to Joanna and spills blood (I imagine pigs blood) on her and runs away. (Definitely a Carrie reference)

“Capitalist pig!”

All the purity of the white she wears stained, her relationship with Tyrell stained, all the things she once had dreamed of having stained, because of blood (Sharon Knowles), and now there is literal blood on her as well. (Also the title card is so good)

—

Joanna is in her home, drinking wine, staring with a mixed emotion down at a photo of an ultrasound. She’s still getting these gifts from “Tyrell”, she has intentions on finding him despite finding herself tied to her new lover (She’ll later say out of all the gifts the ultrasound made her the wettest). (Through Joanna we’re led to believe Tyrell is alive (and he is but she’s not getting presents from him), but Robot says he died because they killed him so it’s a huge whats what. (Elliot doesn’t know about stage 2 or Tyrell being involved and Robot wants to keep it this way.) At the moment we ask if we believe Robot or the presents from Joanna? Turns out neither are entirely truthful. This all becomes answered in the 2 part finale. (This season deals a lot with deception, illusions, and lying.)

—

Joanna is in bed with her lover, she seems to be reenacting the Sharon Knowles choking fantasy (yikes). Derek (I keep not saying his name but it’s Derek.), wants to invite Joanna to his 30th birthday party and Joanna says she can’t come. If she doesn’t come, Derek says she’ll break up with her. Joanna seems taken about this. I think she does enjoy Derek, but I don’t think she enjoys the conditions of this relationship. She knows she’s a potential target so can’t risk going public with this relationship.  

—

Joanna doesn’t show up to the party but is at his home waiting for him. It’s revealed here Joanna met Derek at the e-corp party (a nice parallel between Joanna and Tyrell during that party. One walked out with a relationship and the other walked out well… you know.). She’s filing for divorce and this is her “handshake” with him. (This later leads to her demise)

Beaten and Bruised

—

(Rami’s acting (THE BREATHING) in this scene gets me)

Robot props up Elliot and they then do more of a hold hands than a shake. Connection is seemingly being authorized at long last. He talks about handshakes; Initialized connections between two points of access. (Tech lingo.)

He says this to us:

“Hello. I see you, I recognize you, I acknowledge your existence. Let’s talk. Get to know who each other really are. All of this said with the simple act of a handshake between two people.”

He then goes on and says he “Doesn’t know how to follow the rules.”

What he’s about to say to Robot may breaks the rules of this new connection they now seem to have (Robot going that extra mile to protect Elliot from the beating)(Elliot then accepting that Robot is able to help him and they don’t have to fight).

What he mentions is Tyrell, and Robot is agitated that Elliot is hung up on him, but an agreement gets made through negotiation that gets Robot to finally say something in order to fill in those gaps of memory he doesn’t have. (So connection has been made, but it’s gonna be a false trust.)

“P-Popcorn” is the last thing Elliot remembers. (Popcorn is one of those repeated items in the show that connect back to moments in Elliot’s past. It may be a stretch but I think popcorn symbolizes the pretense of dying, given where we see it. It’s a weird irony of having death lie below the surface of whats usually seen as something fun or delightful.)

—

While talking Robot is lying to Elliot that they killed Tyrell (This would simultaneously be making that phone call they had unreal to Elliot’s mind, another part of the illusion. This will later make him think Tyrell IRL is not real). My best guess as to why Robot kept all of this is he figures that Elliot would NOT want what stage two is to happen, and it most definitely needs to happen or Dark Army would be pissed = bad new for them. Robot is once again playing the long game with Elliot to get him to fall for something. This conflict will continue to build, so yes this is the opposite of a handshake happening here, “Rules” broken. However he tells part of the truth about that night up until the point of “shooting” him, probably because Elliots picking up on bits and pieces of it and saying things that didn’t happen would break the fact Robot is lying to him. (He also isn’t looking to fight him because they’re finally working together and Robot’s been wanting that.) (Should read that Elliot is finally starting to trust Robot because of this btw. Like a relationship of trust appears to have been formed here, a perfect handshake. But who’s betraying trust now?)(My other guess is that Robot just wants to see out his plans alone W/O Elliot getting in the way)

—

Elliot gets moved back to Ray’s office. He’ll need a few hours to “move the site.” He’s planning on exposing Ray site, opening it up for more than just TOR traffic, opening it up to the public, in the next scene we see the traffic on the site is booming. To make things easier, he also emailed the FBI an anonymous tip. (Rays move was to let Elliot live and let him turn him in.)

Elliot negotiates a game with Ray and he confesses he never actually knew what was on his site, but Elliot made him look. (Not sure what exactly about Elliot compelled him but Ray talks about Elliot highly because of it.) (Rays sorta a toss at the end (?), morally ambiguous. He never actually knew what was on his site but he’s definitely not oblivious. He ultimately decides he should pay for his crimes. Elliots conversations previous seem to indicate confusion on Ray being a good or bad person, I think the guy sort of did enable all that shit to happen so like nah.)(He was also using Elliot for what he wanted out of him, this seems to be a repeated thing with Elliot and various ppl.)(Seeing him for what he can do for them instead of him as his own person.)(Characters like Darlene or Leon (who live) do seem to see Elliot for who he is.)

“You are my answer. It’s not the other way around. So thank you.”

Elliot quotes: “When you see a good move, look for a better one.” -Emanuel Lasker (World champion chess champion) (Elliot knows a lot of chess factoids) (What’s Elliots good move and what’s his better move?)

“Mr.Robot was a part of me that I created because of my pain. So now we have a chance to start again. Our handshake negotiated us as partners.” (Just a good line)

—

Elliot and Leon talk on the court, Leon mentions that Elliot has to watch out for people. The white guys show up to mess with Elliot but Leon does’t budge when asked. They had stock in Ray’s site and want payback. They definitely don’t feel like starting anything with Leon around.

“Just remember cuz, your sitting under the sword of Damocles.” - the imminent and ever-present peril faced by those in positions of power. (Leons word choice is always very nice)

—

There’s been some time since the last scene, Elliots wounds are better. We are in Church group the leader reads from Dueteronomy 12:29 - “When the Lord thy God shall cut off the nations from before thee, whither thou goest to possess them, and thou succeedest them, and dwellest in their land;”

I’m not gonna say I’m a bible expert by any means but it’s a big metaphor for “curiosity killed the cat”, to guard oneself against sinful curiosity and thereby betraying god by falling for errors in judgment; or else. Seems befitting enough to Elliots situation. (“Curiosity killed the cat”, Both in prison when his itch gets scratched with Ray landing him in a bunch of painful situations and at the end of the season when his curiosity towards Robot’s possible plotting leads him towards Tyrell who eventually has to shoots him.(thing is these were just curiosities)) (I can see this being VERY relatable to WR. She wants the Congo, and its her errors in judgement that make for her undoing.(These are more sinful))

—

There’s conversation then had between her and him about being fearful and vigilant as good, because it means gods present with him (IDK church stuff). The church lady thinks he speaks to Jesus/God, “If you let Jesus into your heart he’ll always listen.” (Jesus can be read as a prophet, Robot calls himself Elliot’s prophet), Elliot ends up speaking to Robot.

This is a continuation of this thing between them, “I was supposed to be your prophet, but you were supposed to be my god!” (Robot; season 1 episode 10), but also "Mr. Robot has become my god, and like all gods, their madness takes you prisoner." (Elliot; season 2 episode 3).

(It would take longer than an single episode analysis to unpack the religious themes in this show but I’ll say a few things.) The show is seeped with these religious themes everywhere, I’m still piecing sense together about it. It’s probably some way of saying the forces of life are mysterious at times, we can’t always understand them and yet they carry an amount of power over you. And that Powerful people are like gods. Gods are about to create things but they’re also able to destroy. They may guide you and they may also control you. God may be symbolic of power itself. Deciding who are the gods and masters and who are the men? Whoever has control over the world is he god? Should anyone be allowed to be?

Elliot doesn’t believe in god but Mr.Robot he can talk to and needs to talk to. He needs to know what it all means to work together as partners. Elliot has decided that they need to continue with their work, yet doesn’t know if he like’s what robot has to offer about it. Robot tells him Elliot is actually a leader, that he led the entire world into a revolution. Robot says he follows him simply because he does lead.

“I don’t want to be a leader.” (Probably has some preconceived notions on leaders being terrible people, but also might not feel he’d make a good leader given who he is)

Robot says to get anything done with E-corp it’s gotta have to happen like that.

This conversation between them seems like more metaphor to me, Elliot must sacrifice what he wants (not to be a leader) in order to move things forward to change the world and Jesus had to make a similar decision on sacrifice. (Whats weird about this scene though is how nothing seems to play out of it, after Elliot gets out he’s more of less on Ecorp’s side in order to prevent destruction. And wondering if Robot is even saying anything of truth here or if he’s simply further deceiving Elliot this whole time that they can work together on finishing things.)

—

Book burning: Elliot burns his journal because he doesn’t have any use for it anymore. Hot Carla and him stand and watch over it while he smokes a cigarette. (In RedWheelbarrow Carla has taken this apparently during some kind of riot. I think it’s this riot that lets the next thing happen without any guards coming by)

Attack: The racist white guys make their move on Elliot. They (the main guy) say they’re gonna “fix that courage problem of yours”. Robot takes all the punches for Elliot (King). (TW) They’re definitely taking off Elliot’s belt when they turn him around (fuccck)(TY Leon). Leon does his blade action and saves Elliot then we get the reveal.

“Gonna get a letter on Tuesday, do what it says.”

*stabs a guy in the ass*

“Hey yo man, when you see Whiterose. Make sure you say I did you good.”

*yanks his knife out of said mans ass*

“I’ll be rooting for you cuz, Always.”

Elliot’s in shock (who wouldn’t be?) (This establishes a lot between Elliot and Leon, I think it forms a true trust, but its one met with uncertainty)(This can be paralleled with Robot’s in a way, forming a false trust met with more certainty.)(…Don’t read much into what I say lol.) (It’s nice that ultimately both these connections do end up sticking around.)

—

Krista reads over Elliots release notice. (Tuesday I assume)

“But you were right, you can’t destroy a part of yourself.”

Elliot’s mentioning his “reality” the construction of prison as his moms place (perhaps little on the nose on how it was in the real house). Krista makes sure he hasn’t actually fallen into believing the delusions and we finally get the reveal that this is a prison (Honestly how did I not pick up on this sooner in the first watch?).

“Sometimes control can be an illusion, but sometimes you need an illusion to gain control. Fantasy is an easy way to give meaning to the world. To cloak our harsh reality in escapist comfort. After all isn’t that why we surround ourselves with so many screens? So we can avoid seeing?” (This line plays into a lot of things besides Elliot’s illusion. You could relate Price’s negotiations with the government to “make people believe” to this. You could relate Ray to this. You can relate Angela’s persona of professionalism to this. Whiterose’s machine gets references as a fantasy or something along those lines. You could relate Religion into this. All of them put on “masks”, or make others put on the masks, some avoid seeing and others think they see but they don’t. Ultimately every single one is trying to cope and grapple with life. And wearing them makes it possible to fight for the control they want (or are forced to want…))(I love the way this show messes with perception)

==

Angela / FBI / internal work

Dom tries to get something out of Angela about why she was on the FBI floor. Angela tells her about her Lunch plans. Dom (still pushing) expresses her curiosity about her job history, then mentions needing a statement from her before leaving. (She seems to be trying to fish for a reaction.)

Angela doesn’t react much, but she seems to falter towards the end, Dom says “Whatever this is? It isn’t like you,” and leaves.

Angela then completes connection to the wifi. They now own the FBI.

As part of this all security footage data is is corrupted on E-corps security cameras, a total wipe. Dom is present on the scene and suggests looking at Angela Moss’s computer. It’s the 3rd of July. (This Op later proves to be fairly pointless on FSociety’s end of things. The real ones who gain anything from this are DA.)(and because people keep perceiving that they have any control over what happens things end up worse.)

—

Angela is in a taxi on her way back home the night of the pwn. The TV in the Cab tells us how things are escalating, we get hints of switching over to e-coin, and suggestions that more services are beginning to stop.

Angela sees Darlene waiting outside the building. Angela hasn’t picked up any of Darlene’s messages or calls which is why she’s there (Angela’s pissed after finding out about Cisco).

We get what Angela has been piecing together throughout this entire time, she sorta knew at the beginning but also didn’t want to admit her friends would do something like this. She understands they’re hackers and could do something like this, but wasn’t able to admit 5/9 was them up until a certain point. Cisco certainly confirmed any unresolved ideas.

“You guys always thought that you were smarter than me. But come on. You never actually hid it that well. Every halloween, when we were kids. You guys made me watch that shitty scary movie. It was so bad.” (This line makes me think the Aldersiblings have always kept things from Angela, and have always kept her out of their more criminal hobbies, but for good reasons. That the siblings grew into very different tastes than Angela so she ended up an outsider of sorts. This jab towards the siblings seems to continue Angela’s story line of feeling under appreciated.)

—

Angela mets with her dad, who works at Walmart. He’s restocking FIVE/NINE emergency kits. Which he mentions are flying off the shelfs after the attack on Washington. (This episode does a lot of alluding to whats going on outside the main plot, forming a connection we previously weren’t getting much of)

Things get tense, this is the point where there relationship breaks. Angela betrays her mom by doing what she’s doing, but also her dad. We don’t ever see him again I’m pretty sure. There’s also an obvious class divide between them, we see just how polarized they’ve become. Somehow Angela is still convinced that what she’s doing will fix things (perceiving more control than she thinks she has).

—

Price meets with Angela.

“You protecting some evil secret agenda?”  

(“Don’t we all protect our evil secrets agendas?”)

Angela wants to be moved to a manager position in risk management. (In order to change things from within).

Price confesses that it is his birthday, this is a secret from everyone but he shares with her and invites her to celebrate but she refuses. He’s definitely trying to build some type of relationship to her, since he’s her real dad and all. To Price finalizing the deal how WR needed it to be means Angela is no longer in immediate danger so maybe he’s more relaxed about opening up to her. I think one of Angela’s coworkers said this but it must seem strange to everyone else in the office there relationship, I think Angela finds it strange as well. Angela is an anomaly, caught in so many webs, and even WR sees it.

—

Angela’s first day in risk management, the man, who’s a director in risk management, showing her around. He mentions Flint,MI (who STILL doesn’t have clean water) as a thing they’re currently looking into. He apparently knew Gideon, worked with him a couple times. Angela’s hyper professionalism is super off, and its because literally every other person makes small talk and is fairly casual but her. I think it’s her way of commanding respect, something she wants is to feel respected. Angela doesn’t falter around, the problem is this persona of hers starts to carry on to her other relationships, it consumes her. (I just think to when she shuts Elliot away with her office professionalism in the episode where the buildings blow up.. 3.5?)

—

In Angela’s meeting Susan Jacobs (the executioner, f-society is using her house as HQ) is mentioned to be taking vacation days. (Hint dropped that she may be stopping by her house.)

A lot of legal settlement lingo is just thrown around everywhere (making us feel intimidated but also showing how Angela may find herself lost in this environment). Angela tries to get a shoe in on the conversation by suggesting to put together a summary, but obviously this wasn’t gonna work. Price told the head of risk management to treat Angela “however you want” and this guy finds Angela to be a suspicious case.

—-

F Society -

The gang are all over Mobley’s laptop (top secret call happening on OpBerenstain)(It reads that this should be the same day as the hack when Darlene comes in, which happened on the 3rd.)

(The show sort of hints that this next bit is whats on Mobley’s screen previous, but the dates don’t line up. “Tomorrow” isn’t the seventh.) The House of Representatives. (7/7/15) at 2:07 pm ET #droptheballs happens. Kinda a legendary move that just says “suck on these” to the government. However this scares some people into thinking the worlds ending (hence E corp selling out of emergency kits and needing the restock. Capitalism <3s to sell us our panic it created in the first place.) (and when we buy into that aren’t we buying into its fantasy?)

--

[hirokiyuu]

3, 4, 7, 16, 17, 19?

3.  What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

GOD okay. ok ok ok ok ive had a few concepts of a futuristic violence and fancy suits inspired futago au where shido as a hyper rich capitalist dies and futaba inherits everything so goro goes to get her with no ulterior motives whatsoever :) and naturally everything goes to shit bc he was shidos hitman etc etc and like. the reveal where it comes out that he was taking her to try and get the inheritance is one i thought abt a LOT........... but im never going to write this au so uh. u kno.

slightly unhinged goro + freaked out but trying futaba is a fun dynamic. i really like these two together can u tell (looks at pef)

4.  Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

“You never get tired of coming out here,” Nazuna said, once, the summer that Shuu was sixteen. That year had been hotter than most, but even ice cream and air conditioning hadn’t been enough to keep Shuu indoors, not when he could sit with his feet in the river and watch water run over Nazuna’s perfect toes.

“Of course not,” Shuu said, tilting his head up with a sniff. Nazuna’s mask was resting on the side of his head, red eyes watching Shuu from beneath delicate blond eyelashes. “The only thing of worth in this place is you.”

Nazuna laughed at that. The trees left the light falling on him like stardust, gold dappling the lines of his jaw. “You’re so ridiculous.”

“I’m only telling the truth.”

A splash of water; Shuu yelped and tilted back on instinct, flailing as he tipped over. Twigs in his hair, dirt on his clothes, laughter in his ears, Shuu watched the leaves above catch in the faintest possible breeze and thought to himself, Oh, I’m in love. It was not a surprise. He’d known for years. It was just that the word had never come knocking before.

from in the fireflies’ forest!!! i really like this entire fic a lot tbh wwww i spent a lot of time experimenting w/mood and feeling here and i’m really proud w/how ti came out.......... in terms of like. atmospheric pieces i have this is probably one of if not my strongest wwwww

7.  What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

HM i think atmosphere is where im strongest. in terms of like? conveying the mood and tone of the scene and the characters emotions thru small things.......... almo has definitely made comments to this effect before so i think so WWWWWW

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

www recently ive been writing a lot of ffxiv, which basically means i’m writing a lot of oc stuff? it’s odd after going so ahrd on fanfic for so long bc it’s like. there’s no canon i have to adhere to. i mean there’s Some canon but mostly its just like. flings spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks u kno

17.  Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

me, thinking abt the recent pef commenter who asked if ren was also back in time: h a h

realtalk pef is big and popular enough that i Know there are ppl missing my intentions which is.......... odd. i dont necessarily mind but its still weird. actually ive had this happen on non pef things but it’s still weird u kno. pef is just the most visible one wwwwww

i think the biggest surprise is that................. i don’t like futago half-sibs theory GHLKSDHGLKDHG i kno its p popular in futaba+goro fan circles but like. its so boring to me. adds nothing to their dynamic. so much of ftb’s journey is learning to love her New family (ren n sojiro) and having her suddenly Forgive Akechi for Being Her Half Sib is so weird to me. i think there’s potential to explore the concept in an interesting manner tbh (poitns at a certain doc i got) but like. 99% of the time i dont like it

19.  Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

god sometimes almond makes me ctrl+f words that they think pop up in pef and theyre always right. it kills me a little bit. goro sighs a lot. goro bites back sighs a lot. i try to pass some of the things off as stylistic choices but sometimes im just tired

in terms of tropes tho i have a memory loss au for like. every ship ive ever liked. sometimes multiple. im just too embarrassed to ever post but u kno

[unproduciblesmackdown]

thinking about ways that rian and winston are similar / comparable below the surface even though there’s the Emergent difference where apparently right off everyone’s fine with rian, vs. how with winston it’s like “everyone hates him at first* and then it takes his coworkers at least a year to get over the fact he seems weird and/or slightly grating/annoying/offputting/Whatever and start giving him normal, pretty-disdain-free treatment” (*rian seems to Not hate him at first, as even with the “capitalist douche” comment (in the course of arguing to Not Fire him) she hardly seems to find winston insufferable or whatever)

anyways so first of all it’s fun how rian turned down working at axe cap previously and is asking in the middle of her interview why she should change her mind. while winston’s axe cap interview involved him Flipping The Script all “i should interview You” and asking What’s In It For Moi. if i’m going to really stretch things here, i can also make a comparison between winston saying “let me put this in your language,” which would indirectly acknowledge he speaks a different language, and rian.........god.............saying the stuff about. swick. and well winston also saying yas queen which means he is not straight but also is Probably a point of Meta comparison: that both winston and rian are 20-Somethings and the show is going to make sure we know it via their dialogue in their respective axe cap interviews. and then soph pointed out how the [aspect that had changed since their presumed First Interviews (rian’s unseen one where she turned down the job and 3x03 for winston where he was rejected)] was Taylor Mason.....them trying to start their own fund and recruiting winston to facilitate that, and them starting an impact fund and recruiting rian to facilitate that, and rian presumably rejected an offer from Just Wendy prior to this but accepted when taylor was involved, and winston was fine to meet up with just taylor and code in a basement for just them and then sign on to the new fund headed by just them

also besides the “that’s what i always say” Point Of Similarity, there’s the fact that winston attends math meetup (regularly i guess, though we wouldn’t know seeing as it was just sort of implied and not mentioned again) b/c it’s stimulating(tm) and in 5x01 we have tuk talking about how mase cap quants at least Theoretically want to talk about math over breakfast, which might not mean winston specifically, but he’s the only named tmc quant and the Main one and also responds, so.......tl;dr winston seems to find it fun to talk about math at any point, and here’s rian just bringing up Math as a casual conversational topic during this after (market) hours social event, and doesn’t seem to be finding winston a whole cringe loser for trying to connect on that point

meanwhile also it’s not exactly the peak Personable(tm) move for mafee to make a casual remark to winston and then rian cuts in to say that his math sucks (which, handshake emoji maybe with winston going “no way you understand it” in 5x03, which seems like it was more friendly ribbing than anything, especially as a) winston was sure not going “hmm well he has a point” at the “some of Them Can’t [do the math], mafee” remark in 5x01 and b) in 5x02 when mafee was telling dollar bill that he’d needed the Math/Algorithm stuff broken down for him, who did that, b/c 5x02 seems to establish (and 5x05 seems to confirm (how many layers of parentheticals can i get on)) that mafee and winston Talk Casually) which is a little pedantic, as winston can be (e.g. “it’s pronounced ‘owned’”) and like, it’d be easy for mafee to just give a Look like how everyone’s been reacting to winston with Looks throughout s4 (and still does, just not the tmc people so much) but he doesn’t really seem that bothered and the focus shifts to winston going oh Word, math........

also like i don’t know that mafee talking about Bad Luck here wasn’t just a figurative expression more along the lines of like, this is how i’m pointing out you don’t have a drink for whatever actual reason, although rian’s tangent treats it literally as being definitely about the concept of luck, and winston sure can take things slightly literally / otherwise kind of misinterpret the intent behind a metaphor or nonliteral remark, which is handshake emoji for the tendency of his Own metaphors / references (which he doesn’t seem to use as much as is average on this series) to be critiqued or dismissed or whatever, and how people seem to react to him as being clueless / less competent for this perceived literalness, like oh he’s a human computer but doesn’t have Real ~intelligence~ which like, might also be a theme in this ep lol where oh we need people with hard skills And soft skills and what even ever

and then on another note, in the scene with rian and winston and taylor and wendy, this is Rian’s First Day and she’s in the process of setting up her desk, and she jumps into a conversation between a longtime employee and the ceo (i think? are they still a ceo if it’s a subsidiary. well you know what i mean) and whatever wendy is, the two people who hired her, and argues for the continued employment of this rando deskmate. and also calls him a douche in the process. and dare i say that this move could be seen as a bit................cocky????

natch i think that rian’s more dialed-back demeanor and dry delivery is easier for ppl to roll with than winston, who has some more dramatic flair and a lil excitable in the moment, but they Both have this approach of being fairly humorous (intended to be, by them) like e.g. there winston goes with a spin on wendy’s comments.......and really Ultimately winston is pretty chill as well, after all of that he just goes right back to work at his computer like it’s just another thursday, and after the treatment he got in 4x11, apparently by 4x12 he was like “yeah w/e i’m good” lmao like. maybe he Shouldn’t roll with these things quite so much but this is billions and either way all winston’s personality and dramatiqueness doesn’t really mean he’s not also relatively laidback here

anyways just throwing this all out there while it’s still pre-midnight aka pre-5x06

[violetclarity]

21 questions

*squints through fingers* so like, 4 people have tagged me to do this now so I suppose I should? (I always meant to do it I’ve just been putting it off and now it’s gotten a bit out of hand whoops.) Thanks @breathofmine, @fantom-ftnoise, @coriesocks, and @carpemermaidtales for tagging me!

Rules: answer the 21 questions, then tag 21 people you want to know better (can already tell you I’m not tagging 21 ppl, sorry friends)

Nickname: vi

Height: 5′4″

Last movie I saw: Aquaman in theaters. It was fine lol

Last thing I googled: how do y’all actually remember this? I think mine was probably “yuuri/victor ao3″ because that’s how I get to ao3 ship pages (don’t judge).

Favorite musician: I don’t really have an all-time favorite because my music taste varies a lot from month to month, but lately I’ve been listening to a lot of King Princess, Troye Sivan, and Lucy Dacus.

Song stuck in my head: Nothing right now but lately I’ve been getting “thank u, next” stuck in my head all the time and I hate it. (Not the song. Just how much it’s been stuck in my head.)

Other blogs: a ~writing~ sideblog I made years ago but never posted on and don’t know how to delete, no other personal accounts (multifandom mess that I am). A few fest/project blogs I run or co-run: @hpwlwbigbang, @scorbusfest, @bookrecsfordrarryfans (RIP, sorry I haven’t done anything w this in...months)

Do I get asks: very occasionally, more often when I reblog an ask game or something

Following: 302, which is honestly fewer than I was expecting? I’ve been konmari-ing my dash lately but could probably do w unfollowing the inactive blogs.

Amount of sleep: with my new job it’s been consistently around 7-8 hours and it’s fucking great

Lucky number: I don’t really have one but passively I guess 9?

What I’m wearing: Jeans, footie socks, a t-shirt I made that has pineapples on it, and a zip-front hoodie. (Also a blanket. My house is always cold.)

Dream job: the concept of dream jobs in a capitalist society... Either working in the theater, being a director or working in a costume shop, or doing something with writing full/part time - publishing original work or being an editor.

Dream trip: Italy! Specifically Sicily, as that’s where my grandfather was from. (We might be going this year!)

Favorite food: pasta! (and also as a category, breakfast food)

Play any instruments: I used to play the clarinet, and then the oboe, but stopped when I was thirteen. I also used to sing, as in I took voice lessons for over seven years and was in multiple choral ensembles in school, but I haven’t done much with it since college...I’d love to get back to it though.

Languages: English is my first language, I can get by in Spanish (used to be better but I’m out of practice sadly), I took French in school but have probably forgotten a lot of it by now and was always bad at pronunciation anyway

Favorite songs: why do you do this to me, ask me these impossible questions! Ughhhh okay probably my all time favorite song (up til this point) is “Chateau Lobby #4 (in C for Two Virgins)” by Father John Misty. (Lately I’ve also been feeling “1950″ and “Talia” by King Princess.)

Random fact: I’ve been a vegetarian since I was eight years old! (So, over 15 years now? O.o)

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: knitting needles sticking out of light purple yarn; a cat lying in the sun; messy kitchen after cooking (these are definitely aspirational lmao)

I don’t have 21 people to tag!! And probably everyone has already been tagged but @aibidil @restlessandordinary @unicornsandphoenix @foularcadebanana @snortinglaughter @the-cellar-spiral @gingertodgers if you want to play!

[magicalgirlpropaganda]

Things that are hot and sexy (because i do them)

• being unable to cite sources no matter how long you spend on it or how long you try

• getting a boost of motivation to work but on the wrong thing

• actually don't mind doing school work and have a thirst for knowledge but hate failure and not having time to finish assignments

• "wow i can't believe i finished all my assignments for the week! So fast. I have time to study and actually perfect my work and get better grades" *gets more assignments* *cries*

• i can't meet my own high standards

• being so stressed because of mom that i have horrible mood swings and im in a constant state of rage and anxiety

• being relieved when my friends invite me to do things because then i see it as an obligation and im "forced" to go (even though they'd understand if i said no, i see it as an obligation for my own mental wellbeing)

• wanting desperately to help others but struggling to even take care of yourself

• i can do the work, i can handle the workload. But i can't handle the pressure of my mom checking my grades

• i know that I'm smart and i know that I can do it. Ive been working so hard and my work is paying off but i need my mom to trust me

• overeating due to stress and went on an etsy shopping spree. Had to force myself to stop "stress buying" stuff and "stress eating"

• my dumb little passion project went on hiatus because im busy. Which is fine but a bit dissapointing

• i love it here. I don't want to leave. I love the art program. The work is a lot but i love my classes and my friends and my life here. What if one day something horrible happens and i have to leave because its too expensive?

• everything in my life is going good but my mom stresses me out so much that it's no longer going good

• I'm sorry for being incompetent... Even on my medicine. I am much better off than before and i can actually think but. I can't focus and i often miss intructions on assignments unless i write down absolutely everything. Why am i like this?

• my high empathy problems are coming up again because im so emotional.

• i am fine on 6 hours of sleep a night now but i wonder how long that will last. I don't have enough time to sleep for 8 hours every night. And maybe its because i take too many breaks but if i dont take breaks, i can't focus and everything just because thoughts that don't make sense

• im so stressed. Please just let me get my work done. All i ask is to be able to just sit down, relax, get my work done. I want to do so well on the exam later this week that I bump my B to an A or just even a high B.

• at least i enjoy school. High school and before was... Much worse. I don't enjoy spending hours trying to find out how to cite very specific topics and i dislike that one of my professors is a big perfectionist and so i often lose points on assignments (everyone does) no matter how hard i try to make it perfect. And i dislike having to check canvas so often because its difficult to navigate and i swear they try to hide assignments from us. And i hate that i have so much work that some weeks i wonder if i can possibly get it all done. And i hate group projects and i hate writing boring essays. But i love my classes at least. And i want to do well. I will do well. I am going to make all A's if it kills me. I was a B/C student in high school with occasional A's. If i just studied more (i never studied), i could have been one of the best students there, i believe. I didn't study, but I'm glad I didn't because it didn't matter as long as I got ok grades and I passed. I enjoyed my youth (not that im not still young...not that those years weren't the worst). But now i have to make A's or at least high B's because I know i can and I have to prove to my mom that I can do it. Maybe if i get good enough grades, she will back off some. Then I can prove to her that i really don't need her "help".

• this is way too specific of a list

• i want a job. If only i had time for a job. I have a strong work ethic. Im a good little capitalist slave. Please give me mone- i mean. Work. Yeah... Work...

But I dont have time for a job. Im very thankful that i dont need one. But I need to grow up and get a job because it will help me in the future

• speaking of which....a job i applied for months ago just called today... A lite late, buddy. Im 2 hours away now.

• but god... I so want to work there. I hear its a great place to work and the owner is gay (aka, not going to be homophobic to me)

• i wish i had my suitemate/neighbor's life. Like loudly talking on the phone and slamming doors as loud as possible all day long? And she's an RA so she gets paid.

• im calling my mom soon and getting this shit over with. Also i have somewhere to go with friends tonight so we can kidna- i mean recruit ppl for the theatre club. Im no theatre person but i am there for my friend and to make props.

• i can't do it.

• but if i do this, ill be free....

• maybe a quick meditation beforehand. Maybe self hypnosis so i can emotionally numb myself for a few minutes... Idk if im experienced enough to do that yet... But I've been doing it for years so might as well give it a try

• have i really resorted to self hypnosis to deal with the stress of calling my own mother?

• am i really so weak that even though everything is going well, something as simple as my mom calling to check my grades once a week makes me so upset that I cry almost every day about it?

• i know what she is doing is not legal. But what can I do about it?

• my mom thinks that im incompetent as well. That's why she checks my grades. She thinks I can't do it. She didn't even think that I had the ability to live by myself. I proved her wrong there.

• im working so hard partly because of her. So why does me working hard and thus not having time to call make her upset?

• it will all be over by tomorrow.

• perhaps calling her on the phone in a public space would be better. Maybe if she realizes that im not just in my dorm....

Luckily, my mom cares a little too much about social norms. She's used against me this all my life but perhaps it could be beneficial to me.

•thats right. I can just pack my stuff i need for my work. Then ill meditate for a bit and take a tea break. Ill go take everything to a public place with lots of people and call her then.

• i don't want to bring my friends into this, it wouldn't be right. But i wish that they would just sit next to me while I was on the phone. For emotional support at least. But i wouldn't ask them to do that, especially since we haven't known each other long. But i think it would make everything better if i had someone else to back me up

• people must be sick and tired of these posts. Im sorry.

• my mom says she's proud of me, but she doesnt act like it. She used to trust me. When i was 16/17, she would say that its up to me, my responsibility, that I knew what I was doing. Now, im 18. Why does she no longer trust me? I am an adult now. It doesn't make sense. I'm more responsible than I was at that age and im an adult now. It doesn't make sense at all, shouldn't she trust me more?

• i check my own grades religiously. Why is it necessary for her to do so too? What does that accomplish?

• i have an A, 2 almost A's, 2 low B's (but i know i can get the grade up and im studying hard to do so) and one C (it was an assignment that everyone did poorly on and another homework assignment that i did poorly on because I was exhausted). I know a C is bad but it's my drawing class. My favorite class. I do well in there and i think I'm probably one of the better peforming students in there. The C was just a small mistake and since we have more work in there now, getting that grade up will not be difficult. But i feel like all of my hard work just doesn't matter anymore. It will not satisfy her either way. Even if I had all A's, she would probably still be upset that I didn't have high enough A's. One of my professors says that she doesn't give A's on projects because "mistakes happen in art and you have to accept it".

• heavy workload... Im fine doing it but... I can't do it well with the amount of time I'm given. If i just had the weekend as well and not just the rest of the week. If i had just one full day more.

• this weekend will probably be dedicated to next week's work if i can do it early

• i can't call her. It's too stressful.

• im lightheaded just thinking about it

• i have every right to be angry. I have every fucking right to be angry.

• my day should revolve around schoolwork and studying. My weekends should revolve around taking breaks and light workloads. But every moment of every day revolved around my mom instead.

• and to think... If i lived in a place where college wasnt so expensive... Perhaps she would leave me be. Perhaps my grades would be so much better and perhaps I would be happy.