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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 4 years ago

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You probably have gone over it before but what are your opinions on Romione (Ron x Hermione)

I actually haven’t.

Well, probably not a surprise given the hints I’ve dropped, but I’m not a fan of this one either.

However, that said, ships are on a scale. Romione bores me but it’s not in the “this would never happen and fans are deluding themselves” area that some very popular ships end up in. I don’t argue with it being a possibility or that this is where canon ended up.

Now, that aside, what’s up with Ron/Hermione.

Well, it’s that quintessential 90′s romance. The pair bicker constantly, all they do is fight with one another, we later learn that they did this because they were secretly attracted to one another. Now they’re dating and they still bicker constantly.

It was a big trope for a while but I was rarely, if ever now that I think about it, sold on it.

It’s sort of “The Lady Doth Protest Too Much” except, No, the Lady really Doth Protest Too Much. All Hermione and Ron do is bicker and fight, they don’t even really seem to like each other at the end of the day, and I can’t see them ever really being happy together in the long term.

So, why can I see it happening? Well.

Why Does Hermione Go For Ron?

I’ve gone over this before, but part of it I think is that Harry’s off the table and Hermione has accepted that very early. Harry never shows any interest in Hermione as anything other than a friend and Hermione knows it.

Now, Ron never does either, at least for a while, but I think Ron is a safer option in a lot of ways. He’s a part of the golden trio but he’s not its heart, he’s important to the three of them, but Harry is the heart and soul of the group. If Hermione ruins things with Harry, then everything falls apart. If things don’t work out with Ron, well, the three of them have spats every now and then and Ron will probably come back if it goes wrong.

Basically, I think Hermione gravitates towards Ron because by being with Ron the golden trio remains as it is. They’re still Hermione, Harry, and Ron. If Hermione brings in an outsider, the entire dynamic gets thrown off, suddenly there’s a fourth there or Hermione has to split her time between Ron and Harry and New Guy.

Ultimately, I think Hermione values her friendship with Harry and Ron (the only friendships she’s ever had in her life) more than she does dating someone like, oh, Viktor Krum.

Hermione also seems to like dating guys she feels safely smarter than. Hermione places all her value in her intelligence, and frankly, when it comes to Harry and Ron she’s kind of right to. They clearly value her as a friend mostly because she’s the nerd research homework friend. They make it very clear that she’s really only tolerated at best and constantly walking on thin ice.

Everything in Hermione’s life confirms that, if she doesn’t have her intelligence and hard work to offer up, then she’ll be dropped like it’s hot. So, per the end of canon, and I think probably for the rest of her life given she marries Ron, Hermione will never pursue someone who threatens these qualities. Because if she introduces someone in her life who’s at least as smart as her (if not god forbid smarter), then what’s the point of Hermione Granger?

Ron’s dumber and far lazier than Hermione. Oh, Ron’s not necessarily as stupid as Harry (who is dumb as bricks), but he is fundamentally lazier and thanks to his worse grades will be a nice, safe, choice for Hermione who can be assured that Ron will always need her.

He might resent her for it now and then, but he does need her.

Why Does Ron Go For Hermione?

Surprisingly, I think Ron gets together with Hermione for similar reasons. For a very long time he shows -1 interest in Hermione. She’s the ugly girl friend who’s pretty much one of the dudes.

This changes when others start going after Hermione.

With Victor at the Yule Ball, suddenly, the golden trio is threatened. Hermione can clean up into an attractive young woman, people outside their tight knit friend circle can be interested, and suddenly Hermione can leave if she wants to.

For the longest time it was a long accepted truth that for better or worse Hermione was stuck with them. So Ron could rag on her, get pissed about the Firebolt fiasco, pretty much anything and Hermione would eventually be back because she has nowhere else to go.

I think the Yule Ball was the first wake-up call that this isn’t true. Hermione can leave, she just has to find the courage to do so.

Well, Ron brushes that off after Hermione’s relationship with Viktor pretty much goes nowhere. And then we get sixth year, Ron has a girlfriend (which is nice until she starts expecting things of him), but worse McLaggen starts showing interest in Hermione.

Essentially, I think Ron dates Hermione and convinces himself he’s attracted to her so that no one else can date Hermione.

He reasons that they fight all the time because they actually like each other. And if they date, nothing actually changes. (And as he becomes increasingly paranoid that Harry himself is into Hermione it all just starts sort of spiraling out of control.)

Basically, I think Ron and Hermione end up together to ensure that everything remains as it was. And it does, because Harry’s relationship with Ginny is practically non-existent (it’s very telling that Ginny does not join them on the horcrux hunt and is essentially left to be murdered or taken hostage by Voldemort).

So What Now?

The future for Hermione and Ron is, not necessarily bleak, but it’s not particularly good and ultimately quite dull.

They still fight constantly, Rose and Hugo watch their mother and father have daily screaming matches with each other over nothing. They assume this is normal and just what parents do.

Hermione’s the overbearing and very accomplished wife and bread winner that Ron secretly resents. They both know he resents her for it, neither says this out loud.

Ron’s laziness caught up with him and he just works in George’s very successful store. Ron doesn’t even really like pranks, George does most of the work, but Ron is too myopic to actually leave and do anything else. Just like all his life, he’s overshadowed by his older brothers, his wife, and his best friend. He is a pit of bitterness that he tries not to let show. His wife certainly knows.

They’re an extremely dysfunctional, bitter, couple who stays together thanks to inertia, expectations, nostalgia, and the desperate desire to keep things the same. Harry obliviously doesn’t notice and whenever the three get together (sans Ginny as she’s not invited) he notes how great it is that their amazing friendship has survived all these years.

They have shitty sex once a week. It’s probably circled on Hermione’s calendar in their bedroom, “Sunday, 9:00pm, Sex with Ron”.

Rinse and repeat for the rest of their lives.

Really Though, I Just Have 0 Interest in the Ship

I can’t tell you why it does but it bores me to tears. It just does. Every single aspect of it. Even the dysfunction is boring.

To quote a friend:

If ships had literal boat counterparts, this would be the dullest kind of ship, it would be a wooden motor boat with no exciting speeds, it just put-put-puts out to fish and then returns to port.

- @therealvinelle

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #ron weasley #hermione granger #anti ron weasley #anti hermione granger #anti harry potter #ginny weasley #anti ron/hermione #ron/hermione #harry potter shipping #anti harry/ginny #harry/ginny #meta #headcanon #opinion #vinelle #therealvinelle

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igotathingforvampires · 3 years ago

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Marcus x F!Human Reader | A Tug of Fate | Wildest Dreams Taylor Swift Inspo Babble

TRIGGER WARNING: CANONICAL TALK OF WANTING TO UNALIVE DUE TO LOSS

CANON DIVERGENT: DIDYME IS NOT MURDERED BY ARO BUT KILLED IN RAID

It was a rather bleak day, granted every day was bleak if it was Marcus' opinion. He didn't need sleep, hadn't for the last six thousand years, though the last thousand had made him want to close his eyes and not wake up.

If he had his way-- which he wouldn't thank to his blasted-- loving-- albeit pushy brothers and sisters.

Marcus was of the mind that after living as long as he did, once you lost your anchor there was no point in one even being here. And ever since she was gone. Lost to him and the world in an array of violence and diamond dust ash. He hadn't had the ability to even fathom a world without her.

And so, he had trudged, along and quiet, alone and miserable, weighted by the thousands of years of killing, betrayal, ruling, and chaos. But the one thing that had been a constant was the sweetest voice in the world calling his name.

As he stared out at Volterra from his rooms, he exhaled an unneeded breath, it was utterly bleak-- truly so. How was he supposed to keep going, for what another thousand, maybe more if humans didn't obliterate them all with their nuclear nonsense.

Marcus leaned over and placed his head in his hands staring at his feet. There it was again that incessant tug that had been happening for the last three days, pulling out his window into the city.

A chain had formed and he had no concept as to where it would lead, this phantom taunting from his own gift. Ghosts of the past, perhaps he was finally losing it.

But then as he turned his head, a flash of a sound.

A bell like laugh followed by words of humor. "Come on, you can't even look in there? Awe! It's so beautiful! Hm...seems kinda familiar..."

The voice trails off-- and the jerk of the chain is painful.

The voice had sounded so disappointed.

Marcus glared at the silence outside his windows past the gardens he and his love had built to the wall where the voice taunted him. Beckoned him, called him like a sailor to the sea to drown his misery in waters of oblivion.

With more determination than he had in a millennia he strode into his closet and got ready in a flash.

---

Your hand traces the walls of the gigantic palace like structure, the stone feels-- hm, it's hard to place, in fact this entire place feels just-- familiar.

You had booked a trip out of sheer randomness, flinging a dart at the board and it had landed in Italy, bringing a bigger map you had flung another dart and here you were-- Volterra.

What were the odds that this place had been in your dreams?

No one knew, none of your tour group, none of the people who jostled you along because it was time to check out the plaza and shops.

"I wonder what was in there..." you mutter softly unaware of the eyes watching you carefully till you turn and see a shadow partially covered by a walkway, sunlight carefully filtering through the greenery and terracotta roofing. "Hello?" You call smiling at the tall figure. "Hi! uh sorry I don't speak Italian but are you needing anything?"

The shadow moves back a few steps. You frown, and shrug, "well okay! Bye-bye!" you wave and prance back to your group.

---

Marcus had paused, you were not what he was expecting. Watching you in a sun dress with the setting twilight of Volterra glittering off your bangles and sun kissed skin.

He knew you.

But did you know him?

He followed carefully, watching as your group circled the plaza and fountain. Your head turned and caught sight of him, and you froze. Blinking quickly as if to clear your head. "Hi there!" A beaming smile crossed your face, honey eyes gleaming. Oh he knew those eyes. It was impossible to miss the specks of brown and tawny spindles of circles that would glitter with happiness.

Not your red eyes...oh no...not yet...

But did you remember.... you were not who you were...you were a new person... not weighted down by the sorrows of the past, a second chance to a clean slate of happiness....was that the Gods designs?

Had you come back?

Marcus sees you step forward, "excuse me. Do you live here?"

I thought heaven can't help me now Nothing lasts forever....

But this is gonna take me down

----

Your stunned. He's utterly beautiful. A tragic beauty you think, Romanesque features, tall build and so utterly still like a Sentinal posted at the gates of eternity waiting-- what was he waiting for...

The man nods, "yes, I am." His voice is pitched deep enough to rattle in your ear drums, and strike something deep in your soul. You're confused for a moment.

"Oh! how lovely, it's a beautiful city! I was about to go to a tour of the--" you pointed at a lovely lady gathering people but he is suddenly right in front of you.

"That is not a good idea, I hear the tour is quite dull."

"Awe...but it's for the Palazzo..." you pout a bit, "is it really that dull?"

He's watching you, as if trying to figure something out, "that is actually where I work, would you like a private tour?"

You smirk, "You're not a serial killer are you?"

He bows, half at the waist, a elegant-- out of time-- movement as he offers you a hand, one that engulfs your hand entirely as it closes on your fingers. "You shall be in the best care cara mia."

You realize he's freezing, and something clicks, another thought that this feels all too familiar. Those onyx eyes, the soft smile on his lips, the light lingering in his gaze as he looks straight into your soul.

----

I can see the end as it begins My one condition is...

Marcus has given you a tour of the entire Palazzo, hanging to keep the guard and you separated, and you away from the throne room away from the screams.

But as he comes to the garden he pauses. You're chattering away asking so many questions and tugging on his sleeve. He smiles at the happiness you have-- the bond is there, the same....the bond he had missed, but it's stronger, it's pure and it isn't weighted by the tainting of sorrow or the ever present torture of wanting to leave immortality.

He couldn't make you happy....you had been so bereft with immortality.

How were any of them to know?

But now? Marcus watched as you perused the gardens smiling at all the flowers. The setting sun sparking off auburn and black in your hair.

You glanced over your shoulder at him and smiled.

Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress Staring at the sunset, babe Red lips and rosy cheeks Say you'll see me again Even if it's just in your wildest dreams

----

---

"Can I ask you something?" you pause and glance at him.

"As I've said you may ask me anything and I shall answer it for you."

"You're going to think I'm crazy." You watch him pause, this mysterious guardian you've acquired. "D-do...do I know you?"

He raises a brow, but you can see it, the twitch of an emotion that is barely held in check.

"I... I feel like I do...and it's odd. I've never been here, I've never met you before but I--" you swallow feeling a deep welling of pain in your heart. "I missed you...." you don't understand and you feel tears clog your throat as you instinctively reach for him.

But he's caught your hand, a desperate, ecstatic look on his face. "I don't even know your name this time...." He whispers as he presses a cold kiss to your palm.

And his voice is a familiar sound Nothing lasts forever....

but this is getting good now

"it's y/n..." you whisper.

A wide smile. "....little one....Do you remember my name?"

You pause, and the answer floats up to your lips like bubbling champagne from a uncorked bottle.

Sweet, drunken, loving, everything, nothing, the world, and the universe wrapped up in heart strings of red.

"Marcus...."

Suddenly you're embraced, a cold kiss to your lips and the empty ache that had presided your whole life in your heart--

Was suddenly gone.

#wildest dreams #Marcus Volturi #Babble Writing

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camilliar · 4 years ago

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recs for someone new to omgcp

[February 2021.]

Reading, or not reading, OMGCP fics has come up in a couple of conversations I’ve had recently with artists newish to the fandom (ie. @jovishark; @decafffff), who are making OMGCP art (!!!) but haven’t started exploring fic -- but maybe want to? Which of course reminded me that I’ve never bothered to make an actual, concrete recs list for this fandom. So, I mean. Here is one.

The approach is, what do I think about when I think about OMGCP fanfic? What comes to mind, what stands out to me? I have excluded some very popular fics. Some of these I just don’t think are very good, and others I do think are good, and/or I enjoy them, but I don’t see why you’d need me, specifically, to recommend them. I am thinking of a story like maybe i’m waking up, which I discuss below because I link to a podfic of it. It has a lot of merits, to be sure, but it’s the second-most-read fic in this fandom by hits, and it’s got thousands of comments, and it’s by an author whose work is relatively widely praised and circulated. I am not sure what telling you more about this fic will add to the conversation; if you want to find and read it, you inevitably will. I’m happy to, say, answer asks about these kinds of fics, or talk more generally about them via DM or whatever. Feel free.

Also, I don’t think there’s a point to pretending to be objective about fanfic; this list has a perspective and that perspective is mine. In this fandom I largely read stories that navigate the tension around Jack, Bitty, and Parse, in various permutations. This is not to say that I’ve never read fic about the frogs, or that I have no interest at all in other pairings, but I am by no means an expert on Dex/Nursey and can really only speak to the one fic about them that sticks out to me because it goes beyond being merely Dex/Nursey and does something else. This is just to say that I am sure there are great and interesting fics about other things and ideas--but I’m not the person to hear about those from.

Likewise, I’m not super interested in stories that really reproduce that which is already in OMGCP. I like Zimbits--albeit maybe not in the ways or for the reasons most fans would--but I do not really need to see endless iterations of the same story about them falling in love and being cute together. I don’t think these stories are bad or they shouldn’t exist or that they have no merit by default. Still, I don’t need fanfic to give me more OMGCP. I need fanfic to complicate, to comment on, and to transform OMGCP. Many people don’t work like this! Totally okay! But I can’t rec you fics that do that.

What I have noticed, however, is that over time there appears to have been a shift in how people do write fic for this fandom. (Other than, you know, increases and decreases in activity pending the status of the comic, pairings going in and out of vogue, and so on.) Early on, say during Y1 and Y2, the comic was about the group of friends having a cool time at college together; about whether the burgeoning attraction between Jack and Bitty would manifest and, if so, how; and, especially, Jack’s past coming into fuller view for Bitty and how it would have to be dealt with in order for a relationship between them to work. YMMV on how great the comic executed there, but as Y3 went on these themes increasingly disappeared from the story. I think this means a lot of fic written over 2015-2016 or 2017 has one kind of tone, and was written mostly around these questions; after that, it feels like a new crop of writers and a new crop of ideas started circulating, that is, either embracing Jack and Bitty’s canon relationship and accepting its relative straightforwardness in text--or deconstructing it, imagining what readers aren’t seeing, or how problems not dealt with in the comic would manifest later. People who have read my fic know which of these I’m mainly interested in exploring.

All of which is to say, looking at what I’m reccing here, when the fics were posted or when I first read them probably has a lot to do with why they stick out to me so much. Because there’s no real culture of fanfic criticism--and I mean that in the positivist sense of broad evaluation not explicitly for fault and merit but rather, for context--I think it’s really hard to keep this in mind. But I’m obnoxious and I can’t just be easy about things.

Fic recs

In alphabetical order, somewhat unsorted; if a stand-alone fic has a summary I’ve included it, but in other cases I’ve recced a couple of conceptually related fics or series, which I’ve tried to just describe or explain as opposed to copying the summary off AO3.

There are so many more fanfics I think are great and worth reading! In an ideal world I’d come back and add more later, or create a secondary list that’s more along the lines of “if you like this, read these,” or whatever. But, being realistic, this is a starter kit. I’m open to talking about fanfic.

- - - - - - - - - - -

7-0-2 by Idday; Friends in Low Places and Sorry for the Blood in Your Mouth; I Wish it was Mine by blue_rocket_frost | I’m not sure it would be correct to say that I don’t like Parse/Tater, or that I’m not interested in Parse/Tater. I’m not interested in Patater a priori; I think it could be interesting, with teeth. These fics stick out to me when I think about this pairing, because they feel different. Accusations of a preference for just linking any two white men who happen to be hanging around have validity, but because of what hockey is and how it works and who’s hanging around it, it’s not exactly a leap to imagine what kind of gritty spark the friction between two closeted NHL players would create. A little violence in your sex? A little sex in your violence.

A Sight Worth Seeing by sadtomato | A four-fic Jack/Bitty/Shitty/Lardo explicit BDSM series. Either you want that or you don’t. It’s nothing hardcore, and not properly a four-way, really; more properly a kind of voyeuristic round-robin. There’s a more open and egalitarian view of sex here than I really get from the characters in the back end of the comic. It’s an expansive, propulsive view of sex and relationships that’s really nice to see. I love Lardo's detached coolness, and Bitty as a smooth operator; if you’re looking for some kind of Dom/sub dynamics world, this really isn’t it, but it’s a lively exploration into the sexual dynamics in a group of friends that’s super close to the good-times vibe you get from Haus scenes in the first couple years of extras.

call me son (one more time) by Summerfrost, Verbyna, and blithelybonny | This is a series, incomplete, and you will love it or be massively put off by it. I mean that as a compliment. I love it. The premise is, Bob Zimmermann and Kent Parson have been having sex since Kent was, like, 19. Everyone in this story has been chewed up: by themselves, by each other, by hockey. Plainly, this is a pretty bleak view of what OMGCP, as a story, is supposedly offering. If you want fic that is dark and glamorous, treading the toxic melange of substance abuse, sex-as-sublimation, and so much money you can’t possibly throw all of it away without trying, this series has that sick-inducing shimmer to it. But, again, its strength is its examination of Kent Parson, textually and meta-textually, as someone to be projected onto. Bob, Alicia, Jack, and Bitty all impute certain feelings of their own onto him, displacing their own issues to a character who’s centralized in every fic but defies neat or total comprehension. Some critiques I’ve read of this series feel it’s too dark, and I’ve also seen it argued on FFA that an overwhelming amount of praise heaped onto these stories has made it tough for other writers to make headway in writing Bob/Kent fic. But I’m also not sure you could engage with Bob/Kent fic without going down this road at some point? I’m sure there are ways to scale it back, but ultimately it’s a story about how hockey’s violent, homophobic, old-guard gatekeeping has continued to set the terms for a younger and ostensibly less toxic culture. I fully embrace PWP fics that tread on the power dynamic without fully excavating it, but buried within any PWP is the fact that a 53-year-old man is ensnaring a 19-year-old, no matter how much the latter is, realistically, into it, and legally empowered to consent. Not to mention the dynamics of it being a 53-year-old man who is the father of the 19-year-old’s ex-boyfriend, and a 53-year-old man who is an eminence grise in the field the 19-year-old is trying to make a career in The sexual element--the vaguely incestuous nature of it--is making textual the subtext of how hockey works, actually: objectification of teenage bodies as older men’s capital.

Coach Z by thistidalwave | Just before the 2009 NHL Entry Draft, tp prospect Jack Zimmermann overdoses on his anxiety medication and is admitted to rehab. His future turns from a clear-cut road to the top into an uncertain path filled with therapy appointments, ignored text messages, a group of boys who aren't there to teach him a lesson about himself, and, of course, hockey. | I keep reccing this fic because it has 360 comments on AO3 but nobody, as far as I can tell, has ever read it; it never appears on rec lists. This isn’t the kind of fanfic I usually go in for, but I can’t help being charmed by it. This is a character study in the truest sense, a kind of Mighty Ducks-but-better view on what Jack’s time coaching peewee hockey might have been like. I have no interest in kids and my own aesthetic is maybe a little darker than this, but I admire this story because it injects vibrancy into a period of Jack’s life that OMGCP has left largely unexplored, and so has the fandom. We know nothing about what made Jack want to go to college, nothing about how he spent his days in between juniors and Samwell. It posits a very sympathetic and patient Jack/Parse dynamic, showcasing the exact kind of ragged teenage push-and-pull that would have led to the circumstances we see in Parse I-III. The outside perspective Jack needs is largely present in an OFC who’s not a love interest. Super unique, somehow both engrossing and low-key.

#dirtbags by angularmomentum | A series that is a Kent Parson/Claude Giroux fuckfest with feelings. I’ve long suspected that Parse is popular in part because he is the character who most easily elides OMGCP with the actual NHL, or rather, NHL fandom; I think he made it appealing to write OMGCP fics where the NHL is a factor. Case in point, this series, which is basically “what if Kent Parson was a real hockey player and therefore part of NHL RPS”? I have only read some NHL RPS, so I’m not the person to assess accuracy, but what I do know is superstar IRL hockey players take turns here as the caricature fanfic versions of themselves, and since Kent Parson is already that, it’s great how seamlessly he integrates into their social fabric. Rambunctious energy peppered with regret and loss, but ultimately this series is farcical, and it doesn’t take its sentimental ending too seriously--which, good.

fated to pretend by nighimpossible | 5 Jack/Kent fics that Ransom and Holster dramatically reenact for the Haus + the truth. | As a fic format, 5+1 doesn’t usually work for me, but this one isn’t just front-loaded with five too-knowing vignettes; it then wraps up by using its +1 better than you might expect. Sometimes I talk about economy of fic, and this one exemplifies it. A zero-waste fic.

go ahead and move along by originally | "Leave, Parse," Jack says. Again. Or: Kent finds himself stuck in a time loop. | Kent Parson is trapped in a Groundhog Day scenario on the day of Epikegster. I’m sure you can imagine, just from that, what happens. And yet I think this fic is super entertaining, reserving some key surprises. What this story is doing is something a lot, and perhaps even the majority, of great Jack/Parse fic wants to do: digging into the question of just why this can’t work in comic canon. Most often this is approached from the past, by writing teenage Jack/Parse deep-dives that examine their lives mid-juniors, or by writing AUs where enough circumstances are shifted that it does work, or via future fics that posit enough growth has happened, and enough things have changed. But this fic makes Parse live the same bad day again and again, testing multiple theories about just how dependent on circumstance and incident real life actually is. Another day, another tone, 10 minutes sooner, not at all--you just can’t know why it didn’t work until you exhaust every possible variable. I worry that this rec has sucked the life out of the story, though--it’s so fun!

I Saw a Life and Strange Lovers by @bluegrasshole | Most AUs in this fandom seem to retell the story in a new setting or with some big detail change, following OMGCP’s rhythm beat-for-beat. I think of this as, “It’s the plot of Check, Please, but” -- they’re doing high school football? They’re acrobats? They’re a/b/o? They’re in a DIY punk band? And so on. These two stories are not that! They’re both 1950s AUs, each deeply felt, and yet hugely different from each other. I Saw a Life is about displacement and fragmentation, two sides of a similar but incongruent social critique; Strange Lovers is a finely wrought social drama about coal mining in Nova Scotia in the 1950s, centered around historical events. I suppose a theme on this rec list is something like, “I don’t even like this, but” -- yes, okay, I don’t even like Dex/Nursey, but--! This fic is so overwhelmingly complete, the AU laid out so carefully that the story breathes with all the background details informing the writing that aren’t actually, in the story; you just know they’re below the surface. (With the exception of one investigation of Jack’s character in a short, separate fic.) I Saw a Life, meanwhile, really tests the limits of the notion that Jack and Bitty are soulmates--not by calling it into question but by asking, rather innovatively, how the setting and place of the comic itself activates that.

Les Hivers de mon enfance by staranise | What do you do when hockey is the language of prayer for your soul, and also the toxic thing that almost killed you? 2009: Jack Zimmermann takes a mental health year. God knows he needs it. | Here’s a fic by someone who’s no longer around so much, but she felt ubiquitous in 2016-2019 OMGCP fandom. Before any of that, though, she wrote this one lovely fic about Jack’s pre-Samwell recovery. The author is Canadian and really irritated by hockey culture, and I think this fic benefits greatly because she is clear-eyed about Jack’s being caught in an exploitative system; it’s hockey he’s in recovery for, in a way. There’s an epistolary element that works for me, too. I read this early on in my time in OMGCP fandom and it really stuck with me.

Lysistrata? I Hardly Know Her! (by which I mean everything) by @tomatowrites | It feels somehow like cheating to recommend OMGCP fanfics by my OMGCP BFF with whom I make an OMGCP podcast where we talk about OMGCP. You know the fics I really want to rec, like truly the ones that speak to some kind of shared depravity, are the ones where Jack is miserably mpreg for the second time and accidentally lets his kid see Kent Parson’s Long John Silver’s shrimp scampi promo spot, which obviously would get twisted into a self-hating three-way. How many times do I have to rec this fic? As many as I need to, is my feeling. If you don’t know, Long John Silver’s is an American fast-food chain that sells, like, fried pollock sandwiches; it is nautical-themed; I have never eaten there; I don’t know where there is one; I don’t eat fried fish. (Shrimp, on the other hand?) All of which is to say that it takes a real genius to investigate a premise that far out. And while a lot of people almost certainly will start reading this humanity’s depths-themed sex scene and back the fuck out, readers with refined taste will note that Kent, the point-of-view character, is right there with you, despairing that he can’t help himself. And so long as you’re in that story collection, honestly, you’ll love petite gems like Jack is transmasc, Jack and Shitty play hockey in 18th-century England, and oh, right, he’s from Georgia. Tomato holds the distinction of being probably the gamest author I know in this fandom, just really like fearless in her pursuit of any range of concept she’s pushed to. (I can push her to?) See, for example, a sublime bandom AU; Bitty is cancelled for buying a maybe-unethically exported Roman fragment of a youth’s torso; or, god, the masterwork that is this future fic series where Jack keeps relapsing and Bitty exiles him to their guesthouse. Do I think you need to read a fic where Bitty is snide about the teen prostitute whose baby they’re adopting? Yes, I mean, he would be snide, don’t tell me he wouldn’t. I could go on, but my main thing here is, if I have to pick just one, I’m going to pick this Lysistrata fic. The premise, literally, is that Bitty reads the Lysistrata and it gives him ideas. Like most of Tomato’s OMGCP fic, it’s a stripping away of the comic’s polite fiction that Jack and Bitty could possibly attain the ideal it reaches in the comic without some kind of messy, efflusive breakdown. Life is like that, you see! Tricky. Like a lot of people, although it’s tough to say precisely how many, I have always intuited that maybe Bitty is kind of a natural top? But obviously when you meet him, as a literal virgin, it’s hard to see how he’d go from zero to self-actualization so neatly. This fic floats a theory, and it has a fun little side plot for Whiskey, something I never thought about or needed before Tomato built it out herein. In conclusion, BONUS: Dex’s gay lobster novel.

only fools rush in and the light of all lights by decinq | This person wrote of the nature of the wound, one of the early, formative Jack/Bitty fics that was oft-recced when I was getting into the fandom in 2016. It forms part of a larger series that deals deeply with how Jack has been shaped by his struggles (? I hate this word) with homophobia and his own mental health. It’s a picture of the character as you might have imagined him much earlier in the comic’s run. The formatting is atrocious and he author’s flair is what Tomato would call “AO3 house style.” It’s a voice that works great for her writing. I think it’s at its best in these shorter fics; the former is about Parse and Shitty stumbling into a relationship almost accidentally; the latter, an eerie PBJ vampire fic. I had begun writing a fic where Parse is a vampire early on in this fandom, only to read this and immediately quit, because you only need one, and this one’s all I need. The Parse/Shitty rare pair fic shares its exuberance with hockey RPS when it’s good: here’s how fun it can be when you’re young, rich, and jocular. And I don’t even like accidental marriage AUs, they’re usually boring, so that says a lot. By all means, read the wound fic; read the entire series. But these are highly unusual.

OVERDOSE and Oomph and a little spin-o-rama by jedusaur | None of these are long, or plotty, and they’re all a little experimental. OVERDOSE is an AU set in a world where you know how you’ll die, but no details; Oomph, a little fic where Jack hears hockey pucks talking to him. This is the kind of stuff I used to think I’d find in fandom forever, coming out of Lotrips lurking in the 2000s: short, zany bursts of energy that surprise and delight. a little spin-o-rama peers at Kent’s character through the grim reality of being the hypertalented superstar stuck on a dead-last team. All three are sparse and stylish in a way that’s really smart, practically economical.

Sowing Season by @agrossunderstatement | Parse and Zimms, Zimms and Parse. Kent Parson's life, from the Q, through his early years with the Aces, to Jack's senior year. Canon divergent. A story of love, loss, moving on, regressing, hockey, and found families of all kinds. | Effectively a novel, digging into Kent’s personal history, mostly concerning his life in juniors but expanding into his present, overlapping with the plot of OMGCP. I think there is room enough for endless speculations on what went down pre-canon; this one offers a fuller life for Kent than nearly any others, digging into him as a whole person rather than as a satellite to Jack or the plot of the comic. Which isn’t to say that the Kent/Jack stuff isn’t dealt with here; it explicitly is. But the fact of Kent Parson’s life, if we can begin to imagine it beyond mere text, would exist before, after, and alongside Jack; he gets to juniors without Jack, presumably, and he is the captain of a hockey team without Jack, and Pinkerton lays the foundation of Parse’s character within a junior hockey that Jack also inhabits, more so that Parse existing for Jack, so to speak. And I’m not implying this latter tactic is wrong; I have certainly employed it, and others have employed it to great impact and effect. But, still, the title of this series tells you what you ought to know: Kent and his story are the potentiality of OMGCP, up to a point; seeds being planted. Young hockey players, similarly. The question implied there is, what will be reaped? And the answer to the latter, in a sense, that reaping is a sort of violence. Which makes this series sound pretty heavy, but it’s not -- more like, realistic.

(tell everyone) you were a good wife by @queerofcups | The biggest problem with pretending that he doesn’t know that Kent Parson is fucking his husband is that Jack can’t tell Kent how grateful he is. | The ne plus ultra of PBJ triangulation; I’ve been squealing to the writer about how good it is since August, begging for behind-the-scenes insights, and I’d only do that if I really meant it. The precarious social fabric stretched across these three chapters is fraying before the reader’s eyes. The details are delicious, and I don’t want to spoil them, but they sing in chorus with the plot. My favorite OMGCP fics, honestly, remove the romance narrative guardrails that keep things in the comic itself humming along. I think Dann’s take is to ask who in this comic has power and what they would end up doing with it. (Or not doing, from another angle.) At one point, early on in its telling, OMGCP looked like it was going to be a story dealing with the compounded traumas of hockey’s discontents. Then, of course, it wasn’t. This is a fic that steps back and asks what the fallout of that oversight would be. But that’s just the moldering core of this fanfic; it’s actually embroidered, like I said, with glittering detail. The color of the suit Bitty wears to his wedding is burned into my brain. The gray manicure of a woman Jack knows. The ingredients in a cake. This is one of those fics I still haven’t reviewed because the thought of stacking everything I could say about it into mere AO3 comments is inadequate.

when you’re ready by megancrtr | The Aces’ director of communications gets the call at 3:13 a.m. Jack Zimmermann has withdrawn from the draft. | “What happened at the draft” is so mythological it gets asked in the comic proper, and I’ve never counted how many fics attempt to answer this question--from Kent’s point of view, even--but it’s gotta be, oh, hundreds. This story replays the situation from the perspective of an Aces staffer who just wants to do her job, and gets at the jarring discordance between the plot of OMGCP in its quest for social justice and the business of actual hockey. Important context is that this story was written around the time the comic was playing out the end of Y3 and start of Y4, and Bitty pointedly asked Jack the question, “why can’t we?” This story reframes the question as literal, rather than rhetorical. A sterling example of fanfic being a gloss on its source.

BONUS, podfics

hockeyed up | There are many things on Jack's mind. Namely: hockey, hockey, Bitty, hockey, anxiety, hockey, hockey, anxiety, Bitty, hockey, hockey, anxiety, and hockey. | A fic read aloud by its French-Canadian author. Also a relatively early OMGCP fanfic; composed while the first semester of Y2 was posting, the story suggests a version of OMGCP that was in some ways more and in other ways less complex than what it would turn into not long after. The real power of this podfic, however, is that it’s read by the writer, so you can hear the intended emphasis in every line. Also, because she’s French-Canadian, Sophie’s intonation is what I picture when I read or write dialogue for Jack.

maybe i’m waking up | It’s almost funny. All he ever wanted was to play hockey, to play in the NHL, to win the Cup. This—Samwell, the team, the Haus—was supposed to be just a detour, but now it feels more like a destination he failed to realize he’s already reached.(Or: Jack signs with the Falconers, graduates, and leaves. It's the hardest thing he's ever done. What comes after is even harder.) | Don’t get too excited; this isn’t finished. A podfic of probably the best-known, most-recced fic in OMGCP fandom. Striking for its use of metatext woven into the story, this is one of several early longform Jack/Bitty fics that posits that maybe Jack has a lot more development to undergo before he can really, truly, be okay--or be okay enough to be with Bitty? To be honest, this story strikes me now as too long, but the parts in it that work are effective beyond that which fanfic demands. Meanwhile, this audio version only covers six chapters, but it’s so slick, so well-realized, so true to the story. Podfic as art.

my own dear friends | Ever since the day he met Jack Zimmermann, Shitty has seen it as his solemn duty to aggressively love him. (He just didn't know how aggressive the love Jack needed would be.) | There’s previous little Jack/Shitty in this fandom and a lot less quality BDSM,

the city’s ours until the fall | Kent has been, historically, good at this—forgetting about things until suddenly he doesn’t, and then it’s like the scar has never been there in the first place, just the wound. (Or: Kent Parson lets himself be happy, after all this time.) | I’ve never read this fic and I never will. I cannot imagine how, no matter how good it is, it could compare to the version that lives in my head, with Kent’s voice so totally realized. Vocal fry and pathos, a languid energy that I still think about when I think about Parse.

the model home | It’s going to be better, and that’s great, but sometimes Jack thinks, why can’t it be good right now? | j/k j/k, this is a self-reminder to finally one day review this.

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zeppelin-and-unicorns · 4 years ago

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Fanfic recommendations part three: Season 7 fix-its

Some of these stories are post season 7 finale, some of them take place during season 7 and diverge from canon. Season 8 who? We don’t know her.

I’ve read and enjoyed all of these stories, they are all worth the read.

(By the way this is a big category, so this post is huge)

All Our Yesterdays by ChronicallyChill

After the events of "Street Fighting Man", Jackie and Hyde wish more than anything that things had happened differently. The next morning, they wake up in the past, on the morning of Vanstock where Jackie promptly makes one dream come true. They are not together—but, soon enough, one change snowballs into another... Time Travel AU.

I didn’t knew if I should’ve placed this story on the season 7 fix-it category or in the AU category, in the end I chose this one, if you think it’s incorrect, please let me know so I can change it.

Okay so this story deserves a special comment because OH MY GOD, it’s incredible. It’s amazing how the author writes the characters so well, and I simply love the addition of Buddy Morgan to the gang.

This story is a WIP, it hasn’t been updated in a while but I still have faith.

121k words, 7 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Buddy/Fez

Also available on AO3

As You Wish by c00kiefic

A dark comedic look at love, loss and death. Hyde’s there for Jackie when she needs him the most.

This story is complete.

7k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Daddy’s Home by bellamarie

Jackie and Hyde’s relationship has been smooth sailing for the most part since their last break-up in ‘79. As Hyde begins to seriously commit to Jackie, her dad is released from prison and he returns home to supposedly rekindle his relationship with her. Hyde, suspecting that Jack’s intentions aren’t pure, enlists the help of his friends to try and expose Jack for the still crook man that he is. While Hyde may be a paranoid burnout, he knows that the wily politician is up to no good. There is one thing, however, both men have a common interest in: Jackie Burkhart.

Okay so this story basically ignores the existence of season 8, that’s why it’s in this category.

Oh, and I’m pretty sure this is an abandoned story. Unfortunaly. It only has two chapters and damn, I’m dreaming about the day the author will update this, I’m already hooked.

4k words, 2 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Finding the Right Future by springsteenicious

After Chicago, Hyde starts driving to Las Vegas, planning to get over Jackie. His car nearly breaks down in Iowa, forcing him to stop. While he's there, he meets Fortune, a woman who will change the course of his life forever.

This story is complete.

13k words, 8 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Halloween is Over by MistyMountainHop

Eric wants to be scared for Halloween, really scared. Donna proposes a contest, and all their friends are in. But Hyde and Jackie's renewed relationship might not withstand the stress. Donna and Kelso must fight their impulses, and Fez and Eric's chances of survival are slim.

This story is complete.

25k words, 8 chapters.

Rated M

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Also Available on AO3

Hyde’s Long Way Home by MistyMountainHop

This story is perfect. It literally has no defects. I love ALL of MIstyMountainHop’s stories, literally, all of them, but this one has a very special place in my heart. It’s complete and it’s definitely worth the read.

Hyde goes on a self-destructive bender after finding Jackie with a towel-wrapped Kelso. The day after that, he wakes up ... and it's the same day as before. He's doomed to live the same day over and over — unless he can figure out a way to live it right.

151k words, 26 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Also available on AO3

I’d Have You Anytime by anonymous author

What if Jackie after panicking in her show, gave up? And what if she made an unnatural friendship? Basically a fix it of season 7. If you like a story with good Jackie/Eric friendship moments, I totally recommend this one!

Trigger warning for past eating disorder.

This story is a WIP and it’s being updated frequently.

15k words, 9 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

I Found a Reason by JoyfulHeartEO

Can Donna help Hyde see the light before he loses the one thing that's most important to him? Or will Jackie decide to leave at all?

Rated T.

9k words, 3 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Jackie and Hyde: The Untold Story by Lotusflower655

I was going to place this in the “Hidden Moments” category (spoiler alert, the next category), when I realised this has a different season 7 finale, so... here it is.

Rated M.

12k words, 6 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Let’s Grow Up Together by yabookreader96

One day Jackie receives a certain letter in the mail, and she finds her life quickly beginning to change. Suddenly she is a grown up navigating life on her own, drifting away from the sleepy little town of Point Place...and from her friends who can't seem to find the courage to discover life outside the Forman basement. Will her friends catch up, or will Jackie be all on her own?

This story is complete.

67k words, 12 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Magic by poetdameron

Hyde has never been good at words and Jackie has never been good at waiting, they need to find a balance to stay together. Hopefully, they'll do it before is too late.

16k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

Please Don’t Say You Love Me (’Cause I Might Not Say It Back) by orphan_account

An alternate take on the end of season 7. Instead of running off to Vegas Hyde downs a couple of beers in the good ol' El Camino before deciding that some things are more important than his pride - i.e. his relationship with Jackie.

This story is complete.

3k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Reflections Through the Glass by MistyMountainHop

Okay, this story is quite a trip, and it’s amazing. It’s based on a minisseries called The 10th Kingdom.

Six months after Chicago, Hyde no longer believes in love — or in Jackie. Donna's not speaking to Eric. Kelso's confused about his whole life, and Fez has gone missing. The only way back may be to leave it all behind.

This story is complete, and there’s a sequel, called Beneath a Shattered Sky. Honestly, I love the first story, but the sequel... The sequel is probably one of the best stories I’ve ever read. Those are both very long stories, but they are worth it.

138k words, 46 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Season 8 redo by tanith75

This is the most famous story of the fandom for a reason.

The story starts after the s7ep21 episode, so there’s no Chicago problems or people going to Africa over here :) It’s amazingly written, it’s funny as hell, and it honestly feels like I’m watching an episode of the show when I’m reading it. It’s amazing, it’s what should’ve happened in the show.

This story is not complete, but please, don’t let this stop you from reading it.

293k words, 42 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Red/Kitty, Fez/Laurie, Kelso/Brooke

Shade by MistyMountainHop

This story ignores season 8 completely and season 7 is canon, that’s why it’s in this category.

Hyde finds himself homeless on a night where Jackie is without parents. The gift he gave her last Christmas draws him to her, but his attachment lingers past that rainy first night, grows through countless experiences, and leads him across state lines. Their relationship is a high-stakes gamble, but Jackie may fold before Hyde can show all his cards.

This story is complete and it melts my heart every single time I read it.

43k words, 10 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

The Seeker by QuarterflashWoman

With Donna and Eric's own relationship kaput, after Eric left Donna at the altar, what does this mean for our favorite opposites-attract couple Steven and Jackie? Wedding bells, baptisms, betrayals, and ultimatums. It's just another year in the lives of those of Point Place.

This is mainly a season 7 hidden moments story until it diverges from canon, and it’s lovely. I wish it was complete, but it’s still worth the read.

121k words, 23 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, some background Eric/Donna angst.

We’re All Alright by glittermila

In which Hyde and Jackie actually talk things out after he caught Kelso at the motel.

This is a lovely story, and I really enjoyed it, seeing Jackie and Hyde having a mature relationship is everything.

This story is complete.

48k words, 21 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Mainly Jackie/Hyde

Zenmasters: Seasons 3-5 by zdbztumble

I was having a lot of trouble categorizing this story, in the end, I decided that it was a season 7 fix-it of sorts, since season 8 doesn’t exist and season 7 ends in a satisfying way.

This story is a rewrite of some episodes, the author foreshadowed J/H relationship during seasons 3 and 4, and she added some pretty nice J/H moments in some chapters. The author also changed some things in some episodes (like the way J/H get back together after the nurse, and some other things). It’s a pretty good story, I like it a lot.

After "Jackie Bags Hyde," a certain subplot went into hibernation for a season and a half. What if it hadn't? And, if it hadn't, what other surprises would pop up along the way? "Tune in" to find out!

This story is complete.

170k words, 43 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

One-shots:

A change in fate by KaraSkinner

After leaving Jackie in Chicago, Hyde gets into a car crash and meets an angel that shows him just how bleak life would be if he doesn't change his fate now.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

don’t I love you so by orphan_account

Hyde’d spent so long trying to keep her out, and what had happened? He’d finally opened up the gates, only to realise she’d been there the whole time and had had enough. Love — it was a goddamn Trojan horse.

or; a 7x25 fix it where hyde and jackie talk like adults for once in their damn lives.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Hyde Asks Jackie to Stay by springsteenicious

When Hyde finds Jackie in the basement when she's supposed to be in Chicago, his first instinct is to push her away. Instead, he asks her to stay.

2k words

Rated G.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I’m not a heartbreaker, so be gentle with mine by FalaZure

It's just a proposal, Hyde's been through worse and really how hard can it be?

or: 5 times Hyde tries to propose to Jackie, and one time he succeeds.

This story ignores season 8 completely, and it’s mainly just fluff, I LOVE it.

12k words.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Jackie Doesn’t Leave Before Getting an Answer by springsteenicious

Jackie stays in Point Place and waits for an answer to her ultimatum. At long last, Hyde gives her one.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Let’s Do It by poetdameron

According to the tags, season 8 does not exist on this story, so off to the season 7 fix-its category you go.

There are things a man should not say after great orgasms on Christmas' Eve, Steven Hyde should have known better.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Moth Drawn to Light by blackorchids

After Hyde sees how good Jackie is with baby Betsy, it makes him start to think.

Ignores the existence of season 8 completely. Just a fluff little one-shot on Hyde’s thoughts about fatherhood.

1k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Our Last Night on Earth by c00kiefic

When Hyde wakes up in the beer warehouse, he decides to actually fight for his girl.

3k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Remember to Breathe by PrefectMoony

She’s all bubblegum laughter, and butter scotch kisses. Hyde thinks he loves her, thinks he’s always loved her. Hates that it’s taken him so long to tell her as much.

Hates it even more that the first time he’s ever told her so is when the break between them is too raw— too jagged— to be able to mend with pretty platitudes.

Beautifully written.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

sighs in my sleep by finkpishnets

“Congratulations,” the nurse says, smile pulled too tight as she glances at Jackie’s unadorned hand.

Jackie wants to shrug it off — “My husband’s getting the ring engraved as an anniversary gift. Isn’t that just so romantic?” — but she can’t find the breath to let the lie trip off her tongue, even in the face of pity.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Street Fighting Man by springsteenicious

Hyde finds Jackie crying at the Packers Game. He tries to fix it.

1k words

Rated G

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Tea For One by KayRight

The second Mrs. Forman walked in with a letter for him he knew what had happened. Marrying her scared him, but losing her terrified him to his very core. Takes place in Season 7 after Jackie tells Hyde she got a job in Chicago.

2k words.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The One Where They’re Happy by amidtheflowers

When Jackie and Hyde start dating, it takes the gang a while to see how that relationship even works. Something that creepy and unnatural can't possibly work, right? Meanwhile, Donna wonders why she puts up with any of them.

Adorable, I love this story so much, please read this.

3k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

we’ll be alright by marvelfoodlover

What if Jackie didn't easily forgive the gang after they missed her graduation party?

Season 7 fix-it because it diverges from canon.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I think that covers it.

I’ll repeat this at the end of every single post: speaking as someone who writes, it would be really cool if you guys decide to leave a review (or a comment, if the story is on AO3) in the stories you read, especially the unfinished ones. It really motivates the authors, and receiving a compliment is always a mood lifter. I’ve seen some authors updating stories after years because of nice reviews, so… yeah, this is just an idea.

If you think I left out a good story, feel free to reply to this post!

Next category: Hidden Moments

#jackie x hyde #jackie and hyde #jackie burkhart #steven hyde #zenmasters #that 70s show #that '70s show #fanfic #fanfic rec #fanfic recommendations

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mr-and-mr-dameron · 4 years ago

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Learning to love ALL of Star Wars

I’ve grown a lot the past few years, and with that I’ve came to appreciate a lot more things about what I love. I’ve went from bitter and spiteful about what I don't have to appreciating what I do have, and at the centre of that storm is Star Wars. A franchise I’ve only really been invested in the last year.

The beginning

So I was always a “fan” of Star Wars, sure. I grew up with the prequels and I was excited when Disney was releasing their new movies. But the past year is where I really got invested and found a whole new love for the franchise. And strangely enough, it was through the simplicity of Lego. You see, I started watching videos by Brickvault about Lego Star Wars minifigures, and something about seeing the toys I loved as a kid from a modern perspective took me right back to wooshing my Jedi starfighter around my room. From there, I started moving away from Lego and dipped my toe in theories, lore videos and eventually discussion and review videos, the turning point being Cosmonaught Variety Hour. Now, I have some opinions on the guy now, but Cosmonaught was perfect for me at the time. He was opinionated, entertaining, but most importantly knew his shit, and I liked that. His videos on Star Wars are pretty good, and really helped form my opinions back then... In a bad way... Now I’ll make this clear, this is NOT on Cosmonaught, it was just how impressionable I was as a person back then. I’m just saying how his video affected me on a personal level. Up to this point I didn’t really understand the hate for the prequels besides the fact they were “bad movies” and “people don’t like them”. Cosmonaughts video on the prequels gave me those reasons, and I finally felt like I got the distaste for those films. However, like they say... A little knowledge can be dangerous, and boy was I about to learn that lesson the hard way...

The fall

So here I am, knower of all things, the CORRECT things... I’ve watched my fair share of videos from a handful of sources, I know my shit. I’m making my opinions known, and I’ve become that friend. But whats this! A dissenting opinion!? My boyfriend actually likes the prequels more than the Original Trilogy!? SACRALAGE!! I must prove him wrong! And prove him wrong I...! Did not... In fact, something rather bizarre happened... He convinced me. I was stubborn at first, but I’ll admit, my wall got broken down at long last. He (bless his soul for dealing with me) managed to get through to me exactly what it was he loved about those films, and it wasn’t just the nostalgia. I had always seen the politics of the Galaxy like most other people did, some boring preachy nonsense that had no place in Star Wars, but I came around to it. Granted with a little help from the Clone Wars I managed to piece together just what it was there was to like about these films... I wont say they’re perfect, far from it. But internally they have so much more going on compared to the Original Trilogy. The Era has some of the most fun and expandable concepts and ideas in all of Star Wars, and while it may not be as iconic, the visual artstyle of it all is still its own recognizable brand of Star Wars. And almost like magic (or my phone spying on me) youtube started recommending videos that disagreed with Cosmonaught, and I got my first taste of how his video wasn’t as sound as I thought. Now as a side note: I still like Cosmonaught. He’s a funny guy who like I said knows his shit, but he obviously isnt the be all end all right and wrong which I hadn’t quite learned. I can enjoy his content while disagreeing with it, and I think thats just fine. I find myself disagreeing with a lot of creators I watch now and he’s just joined them. But hang on, we’re missing something here... A certain... Mouse? Perhaps?

The dark times... The Disney Empire...

So hop back to modern day for a sec, this timeline pretty much lines up with the end of the Disney movies right? So how do I feel about those? Well... When the first three came out, I liked them. Like everyone else I was loving new Star Wars. As a young art student, I loved Rogue One and TLJ for their stunning visuals, deeper themes and their attempt at something new and fresh. I loved the throne room fight scene, the light speed ram and how Rogue One had such a bitter sweet ending. But ho ho no one else felt that way! And whether it be peer pressure or my love of dumpster fires my opinions changed like that. I laughed at the Rose Tico and Snoke memes, I hated the Canto Bight subplot and poor Luke being butchered on screen like that, and then there's Rey... Solo came and passed. I refused to go see it, as I did with TROS which came out around the time I was getting back into Lego, and along with the prequels I was watching video essay upon video essay about why the sequels sucked and how to rewrite them. Some of them coming from a positive place, others... Not so much.. And so my hatred for them grew as I got back into the franchise and came to appreciate the originals for what they done great, and loathing the new films for lacking that same spark. And unlike the prequels, I didn’t really get enough pushback to change my mind. But what I did get was the full brunt of spite and hate the fans had for these new films, and honestly? It was depressing.

Hate leads to suffering.

I finally reached my rock bottom. I genuinely reached a point where I debated giving up Star Wars for the sheer amount of negative feelings I had towards the state of the franchise (which might I add is valid if you ever end up feeling that way about something you’re meant to be enjoying).

I struggled to get past how Disney “ruined” Star Wars, and clearly nothing was going to change. 40 Years of history had been wiped out and the new timeline was a contorted mess, and the amount of discourse and disagreements in the franchise honestly did not help at all.

Nothing was simple, everything had a catch. You like how Kylo was irredeemable in TLJ? Well he’s redeemed in TROS. TFA is a fun film but it sets up a lot of the things people hated about the sequels so you cant even just head canon that the other two never happened. And then...

Saved by Lego

There was Lego, making the best of a bad situation. It didnt care if you didn’t like that Palpatine was back (somehow), it didn’t care about the clunky prequel dialog, and it didn’t care about the thousands of retcons from the entierety of the franchises existence.

Whether by contractual force or not: It was pure, distilled Star Wars.

I loved how a set with Rey could stand beside a set with OT Luke and thats just how it was. It put into context that this was reality, and I could either be bitter about what could have been or accept what was, which wasn’t easy and I’m still not really over it. But I reached a place where I could accept the fun in all of Star Wars, that I liked how some of these characters looked, that these characters all existed in one Galaxy, and it was nice.

And it led me straight back into...

Learning to love Star Wars

One of the most important lessons I learned in the past year was trust your gut. Sure, hear out other peoples take on something, and if it changes your opinion all the more power to you. But don’t fight the fact you felt something in that initial reaction. I liked the prequels as a kid, so why don’t I as an adult? Is it because i outgrew them and see them for the disasters they are? Or is it because a someone who watched them as a fully grown adult that grew up with the OT was underwhelmed?

And to that extent... I rewatched TFA and TLJ with an open mind and an open heart. The result?

Im indifferent towards TFA. It has fun character moments and has a decent adventure, for what it is its good. But I actually found myself enjoying TLJ after all these years of hating on it. I liked their take on Luke, I liked the mutiny subplot, it didnt push the story forward leaps and bounds but it was a more methodical take on the franchise and for the I liked it. It wasn’t perfect, its biggest flaw is how bleak it can feel and its lack of doing anything interesting with its setting, but it does do a fair amount of decent things and I’ve come to appreciate it for that.

I’m planning to watch TROS at long last soon, so maybe I’ll update it here. But what I will say is that I hope Lucasfilm don’t give up on the sequel era and characters quite yet. There is still a lot to love here as much as you may not like it, and I hope that they can explore more interesting meaningful themes and narratives in external media that they couldn’t in mainline films cough cough Stormpilot cough cough...

I know not everyone will agree with how I feel now, heck a lot of my problems I had still stand, but I’m at peace with it all now. I just want to sit back and enjoy this franchise for what it is. While I might not forgive Disney for its severe mishandling of... everything (a rant for another time) I’m content just not them supporting to the best of ability.

Star Wars is in such a unique position where each generation has a different stance and appreciation for different parts within the franchise. The prequels were hated until its fans grew up and started defending it, The Clone Wars was hated until its fans grew up and started defending it, and the sequels ended last year, their fans haven’t quite got their voice yet. But I’m interested to hear what they have to say.

#star wars #star wars trilogy #self reflection #thoughts #meta commentary #star wars prequels #Star Wars Sequels #lego star wars #my post

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thenightling · 4 years ago

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Why I do NOT think Over The Garden Wall’s ending is secretly sad

Recently I came across a comment from someone who believes Over The Garden Wall actually has a sad ending and Greg and Wirt and doomed, that the ending is false because of the lyric “Loveliest ...lies of all.” I have to admit I was initially worried about this being potentially true too. But then I remembered a few things that reassured me. A few things made me certain the end is not false.

1. The phrase “Loveliest... lies of all”: At first this worried me too that the frog was giving a wink-wink / nudge-nudge that this wasn’t really how it ended but how the boys would have wanted it to end but then I realized something. He actually sings "Loveliest lies of all" at the start of the first episode too. So if the end is a lie so is the whole thing. So this makes the concern moot, doesn’t it?

2. “What is a story but a lie?”: Some people call fictional stories "lies" and The Unknown is a land of stories. A similar reasoning is how Marvel evolved Loki from God of lies to God of Stories in the comics.

3. The Over The Garden Wall comics are supposed to be canon: The Over The Garden Wall comics (from the same writer) indicate all the stories ended the way the afterward claimed.

4. The end scene is supposed to show how the boys touched the lives of those in The Unknown: We have been told that the ending is supposed to show how the boys impacted the lives of those in The Unknown. Why do that if only that one part is a lie?

5. It was all real on some level: The Bell still being in the frog’s stomach indicate that the adventure was at least partly true.

6. The opening and closing bookends: There are things tied together that the boys would not have known in order to imagine the happy endings for the lives they touched. For example, the fact that the gristmill (now mostly repaired) was owned by Beatrice’s family and the dog from the first episode was hers. The boys didn’t know Beatrice had a dog. The boys also didn’t know what the woodsman’s daughter looked like. We only saw her in the preview segment of the first episode. And Lorna’s ending was the most probable since Auntie Whispers turned out to be a fairly nice person (even if she didn’t think of the obvious way to get rid of the spirit). There’s a preview (in the opening segment of the first episode) that ties directly to the ending and the boys wouldn’t have been aware of either.

7. A sad conclusion doesn’t match the rest of the mini-series: All of Greg and Wirt's adventures ended mostly happily already (”O Potatoes and Molasses: The school is saved via fund raiser and the gorilla was Jimmy Brown all along,” the frog choosing his human companions over fame and fortune, the Potsfield folk just letting them go after their two friends were dug up, Adalade defeated, Lorna de-possessed and deciding Auntie Whispers is her family after all for loving her and looking after her through the ordeal, And the crazy old tea seller (who might actually be the ghost) finding love with his business competitor. So there's no real reason the ending should be false considering how far fetched the previously established stories played out.

8. Purgatory isn’t a bad place by its original definition: Yes, I’m aware that there’s a high chance the boys are in purgatory, or some place between realms. There’s also a chance they are in The Dreaming (realm of dreams and stories) or a combo of the two. But purgatory is not necessarily a bad place and you sometimes CAN return to the land of the living from purgatory. It’s not like the Dante’s Inferno video game or Divine Comedy (which is Bible fan fiction, by the way). Even if Dante’s Divine Comedy did influence Over The Garden Wall so did Goethe’s Faust (part 2 of which had a sweet ending) and a bunch of other classic stories. And purgatory is supposed to be a place between here and it is indicated that it is where forgotten stories (folktales / faery tales) must play out. And most of those were designed to have happy endings.

9. The references and homages don’t fit a bleak ending: Yes, some old Grimm Faery tales have very dark endings but the raw blue print for Over The Garden Wall comes from American folktales, vintage New England post cards, and 1920s to 1940 cartoons, which usually were whimsical and had happy outcomes. You can see the likes of Betty Boop, The Wizard of Oz, and even Shirley Temple’s Animal Crackers in my Soup in loving homage.

10. Tome of the Unknown: They were helping forgotten stories reach their conclusion. That’s why the original working title was “Tome of the Unknown.” (Which Lorna is reading in her final scene, by the way.) The fact that Lorna is reading the Tome of the Unknown (the book of stories the Unknown characters are supposed to be from) suggests that the boys actually helped these characters play out their stories like faery tale characters in an Enchanted Forest.

11. A sad ending doesn’t really match the established tone. They were mostly sweet forgotten stories and folktales too from the looks of it. If Beatrice was turned into a bird by a bird for throwing a rock why is it so hard for us to accept a witch’s scissors could turn her back? I was worried the scissors would actually mutilate her too but I think we’re just too used to that sort of thing today. Older stories were not so cynical which brings me to point 11.

12. Projecting cynicism and dark expectations: I saw similar projected darkness with some people watching The Shape of Water and thinking the end was wishful thinking even though we had already seen “The Asset” use healing powers. And Guillermo del Toro said it has a happy ending. The Rugrats aren’t dead and Angelica is not just imagining them either. Sometimes things actually just are wholesome. They don’t need to be edgy.

13. I’m aware of what was considered early in the production: Just because an author considered making something darker than what was made doesn’t mean the finished product is darker too. People also like to bring up that in the “original“ Peter Pan the boy was a villain and did awful things but that is not the version that became a beloved play and children’s book. That was essentially a prototype version that no one cared for.

14. Sequel?: Though it’s not likely the show’s creator (Patrick McHale) will do it, there were sequel considerations for Over The Garden Wall, which would require those stories to have ended the way we saw them.

15. “If Dreams can’t come true then why not pretend?” I’ve heard this lyric used to try to claim the ending is false but one could argue that all of the stories the boys encounter in Over The Garden Wall are dreams. And what is the sure way to make a dream become real? “Fake it until you make it.” In other words... Pretend. So the boys may have turned those stories (including their endings) real. Pretending and belief. Believing something strongly enough that is how you make an ideal real.

To quote Death in the novel Hogfather by Terry Pratchett.: “ THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET”—Death waved a hand. “AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.” "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—" MY POINT EXACTLY.” He goes on to say people need to believe in these things in order for them to “Become.”

This is how you make concepts real, through pretending and creating belief in the idea.

So in a sense what he’s really saying here can be seen as “Make it real.”

#Over the Garden Wall #OTGW

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hypnoticwinter · 4 years ago

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yesterday i finished plotting out the rest of down the rabbit hole

and i am so beyond excited to share this story with everybody who’s been following along so far. i never thought this project was going to grow as big as it did. i’ve lived and breathed dtrh for the last five or six months and it’s crazy to think that if i’m able to stick to my one-chapter-a-week schedule this entire story will be wrapped up in ten weeks. after that there will be some minor editing and a chapter or two i need to add but that’s small potatoes for the most part.

this has been a really cool experience for me. for one, this is probably the longest thing i’ve ever written. currently I’m estimating the final word count to be about 230,000. that’s across all three books but honestly even though i have broken it into books i really do see the story as one stand-alone narrative. for contrast, infinite jest is about 540,000 words.

length isn’t everything, obviously. it can even sometimes be a detriment. i’ve mentioned this before but down the rabbit hole started off as a 20k word novella. I planned for the story to end after Roan and Peter travelled to the Pit, and it was going to be a much more ambiguous and bleak ending. there was no flashback sequence with Peter and Makado - hell, Makado wasn’t even a character at that point. i felt a little sheepish going back to the people behind the @mysteryfleshpit project and saying ‘hey, so the thing i was writing, it’s doubled in size, is there any more behind the scenes stuff you can give me?’ multiple times.

i think one of the important things i’ve learned from this experience is that although you might be writing with a fanbase in mind you have to still make the story your own. if this story was just going to be about the Pit it would have to be a history book or an almanac. i realized a while ago that i’m not telling a story about the Pit, i’m telling a story about Roan. i had a lot of anxiety about that for a while mostly because i was nervous that i would somehow be ‘tricking’ people into reading the story, maybe because i felt like because i was writing a story about something that already had an established fanbase and i think that that adds a lot of pressure to live up to expectations. i said a while ago that i feel like the story is literary fiction pretending to be genre fiction and i do still think that’s accurate. what i’ve come to accept though is that the beauty of the story is in the portrayal of the characters, in how deeply and fully i’ve been able to expand Roan into a living, breathing, deeply flawed and vulnerable and real character. for me that’s always been the magic of writing and so it was natural that i sort of shifted from the pulpy story i originally planned on telling to something more literary.

i get nervous about my characters, i worry so much that they aren’t real enough, i agonize over it. even though everyone tells me they’re fine i still worry - is roan too withdrawn and two-dimensional? is elena too sexy? is makado just a caricature? the scariest part is wondering whether or not i’d be able to tell or if there’s some sort of flaw in my perception and the way i view people and characters that i wouldn’t be able to see the problems, that i wouldn’t be able to recognize them as being two-dimensional and flat.

i haven’t put out a ton of my stuff before. i have a lot of short stories and some novellas laying around, some parts of novels here and there, but other than that the actual stuff i’ve had published is a couple of poems and a short story here and there. i haven’t had a lot of reaction to my writing and i was shocked when most of what i heard about down the rabbit hole was positive. someone even told me yesterday that they had to remind themselves while reading that the story isn’t canon, and i can’t even think of a higher compliment than that. it’s made me a little disbelieving honestly, like surely all these people are just being nice, right? it’s hard for me to tell, i think i’m too close to the matter to see it without bias. dtrh certainly has issues, there are things that i do need to go back and fix, but for the most part they’re things that i’m aware of and know how to fix, and that’s the main issue, knowing how to do it.

that compliment too makes me nervous in a different way, though, because i have had a lot of conversations with the people behind the mystery flesh pit project and i have mentioned on occasion that what i wanted to do was write the ‘unofficial official novelization.’ i think i really understand the sort of tone and theme they’re going for with the pit as a whole and it’s something that’s always really appealed to me, but now, as stupid as it sounds, it does make me a little nervous that they might think i’m trying to like, steal their thunder or whatever. like, you’re making a thing and then someone comes along and says ‘man, i love your thing so much that i’m going to write a 200,000 word novel cannibalizing it to tell the story i want to using your thing.’ maybe that’s a pessimistic and misrepresentative way of putting it because that really never was my intention but it’s so hard to tell and i don’t want anybody to feel threatened. but at the same time, who goes and writes two hundred thousand words on something just on a whim? this story was born out of me finding out about the Pit the same week i listened to ‘we didn’t start the fire’ on repeat about eighty or ninety times, that’s all.

i’ve learned a lot from this project. that i’m a good writer, if people are to be believed. that it’s okay to create something your own way, even if you’re working off an established base. that i can plot out and commit to and write something this long without choking (knock on wood). and maybe most importantly, that people are interested in the types of characters i want to write, that i can create someone real and dynamic, who will live in people’s memory and imagination even if i never return to this story and setting later on.

i hope if nothing else that i’ve managed to bring a little more interest to the mystery flesh pit project, because i really do think that they’ve managed to create something genuinely special and i can’t wait to see what they make next.

if everything goes according to plan and i don’t have to take any weeks off, i should be putting out the final chapter of down the rabbit hole on monday, april 11. i’m not going to commit to that, obviously, but it’s only 60,000 words or so, and i think i’ve proven to myself that that’s an achievable, realistic goal for ten weeks of work. that’s less than a thousand words a day. exactly a thousand if i take one day off per week.

this has been a really wonderful experience and i’m so thankful for everyone who’s chosen to share it with me.

#writing #writeblr #mystery flesh pit

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staranon95 · 4 years ago

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dincobb blade runner au

okay i got some nice likes on my post from last night, and i finally have some time to draw out my thoughts.

this is going to be heavily inspired by Blade Runner 2049 so yes i will be taking multiple elements from that movie, its story, its themes and characters but with my own special twist.

Din

he is a nexus-9 replicant (styled after Officer K) and works for the LAPD as a blade runner, tasked with hunting down older replicant models (nexus-8 units)

he reports to Lieutenant Bo-Katan; their relationship is a very tense one to say the least. the big part of nexux-9 models is that obedience is hardwired into their genetic makeup, so Din is Bo-Katan's obedient little blade runner, dispatched to the harder jobs that humans can't do because replicants don't matter right?

as part of the replicant build, replicants are given false memories upon their conception since they're formed as fully adult, fully human, you need to have something rattling around in there to kickstart their brain

Din has a named. Din Djarin, but this sets himself apart from other replicants the LAPD has employed in the past. because none of them previously asserted that they had a name. but it's almost automatic for when people introduce themselves to him that he responds with Officer Djarin. it's like a reflex.

as part of Din's memories, he knows they're false. but some of them are so starkly vivid like the image of a child calling him 'papa' reaching up with their arms at him, smiling wide which is weird isn't it? replicants can't reproduce but why does Din always feel struck with the desire that he lost something? that he had to say goodbye to a child? he never mentions this to anyone, not even Bo-Katan, because they don't matter right? they're false. right?

one of the big memories Din has is of this Child. he's slipping a necklace around their neck and saying 'i'll come find you' and he doesn't know why but he's so driven by the urge to find this Child. but he doesn't know where to begin and he can't go against Bo-Katan. he can't disobey

Cobb

Cobb is a nexus-8 model, but he's an aberrant variant of the line in that he's an outlier from the model. he's not as big, not as strong, but still as deadly, and when originally created, he was used for infiltration and surveillance against rebels, uprisings and so on. it's easy for him to blend into the situation at hand. he's highly charismatic which makes him so dangerous. eventually he broke free of those who controlled him and became a rebel figure among the underground replicant freedom movement

as an aberrant nexus-8, Cobb is wanted by a lot of people, the most important person being Moff Gideon, CEO of Gideon Corporation. the GC revived the replicant production after the nexus-8 models rebelled in a bloody war that led to many governments declaring replicants illegal. Gideon wants Cobb because he shouldn't technically exist. it's like he's a mutation, so Gideon pulls his strings with the LAPD to have their blade runner Din sent to find Cobb

now Cobb established himself as a rebellious figure back in the day during the Blackout (canon for the time when all digital devices just stopped working. good times!). one time, however, he did get caught by a human militia. the militia wanted money from his capture, so while they were negotiating with the authorities, they had him stashed away in one of the many bleak recycling operations, chained down and forced to work while his fate was decided.

(2049 is a bleak world and includes child labour. bad times all around)

so while Cobb is chained in place, he comes to know this Child, this special Child with a unique necklace, and he talks to the child (he always talks. he's Cobb) and they build a relationship and Cobb realizes how special this Child is

eventually Cobb is broken out of his interim prison, but before he goes, he makes sure the Child is taken with him, and he makes sure the necklace is left behind so that people assume the Child died here

The Child (it's grogu lol)

The Child is seemingly human, but actually born of a replicant. they are an impossibility and the symbol of a replicant revolution. they can control themselves. they can be free from the human worlds because they were built to survive.

rumors of a replicant child break out and of course Gideon also wants this child for his own purposes. to study. to understand.

later on in the story, we learn that the Child's father (idk who this is yet) had their memories taken and implanted in a nexus-9 model, and that this nexus-9 would become the Child's sworn guardian, but he needs to recognize that drive on his own. he needs to break from the rules that keep him rooted to the humans he works for. that's a journey he needs to take

The Story

Din learns of the Child's potential existence when he happens upon a crime scene. a human possibly killed by a replicant. he's sent to investigate and finds a shallow grave on the property. the bones belonged to a replicant, but it's clear they had been pregnant based on old marks on the bones.

He learns form the crime scene that this human was in contact with known rebel Cobb Vanth based on a photo he finds stashed away along with the body, so the LAPD figure Cobb returned to tie up some loose ends, that he's essentially reemerged and Din is being tasked to bring him in

Din is contacted by Gideon to speak about Cobb's whereabouts, what Gideon knows about Cobb's history, and that Gideon knows about the rumour. that a replicant child lives and that Din will be well compensated if he manages to bring the Child to Gideon

Din follows Cobb's past, learns of who he is, how he broke free of his intended purpose, and Din wonders quietly to himself what that's like? what is it like to be free of human control? to be his own person?

he comes to the recycling plant where Cobb was once held and does some digging on the premises, coming to know the story of how Cobb escaped. he finds the necklace from his memories and realizes his memories can't be fake. otherwise why would this be here? so he digs through the plant's records of all the children who've worked here and finds his name in the ledger. Djarin.

following a series of cryptic clues, Din realizes that Cobb is hiding in the wasteland of Las Vegas, a place that's inhabitable by human standard, but not to replicants. so he goes there. Cobb and Din meet for the first time and duke it out until Din says he knows about the Child and that stops Cobb from nearly killing him.

they talk. Cobb feels sympathetic for Din because he knows how hard nexus-9s have it. to be obedient on that level? how hard must it be for him to be here? but then he realizes that someone must've planted those false memories in Din for a reason. this is where Cobb and Din really connect to each other. how much Cobb wants to show Din he's worthy of a life outside of his purpose. and how much Din realizes he wants to follow Cobb wherever he goes.

surprise attack! Gideon's forces locate the both of them. Din is incapacitated and Cobb is captured. Din is left for dead.

Din is later found by Boba and Fennec, replicant leaders of the underground movement. they patch him up and ask him where his loyalties lie i imagine at this point Cobb has told them of Din's emergence and that he has implanted memories, that he's meant to be the Child's guardian. and Din has to make a choice here. he has to choose to be his own person and fully go rogue. so he swears that he'll rescue Cobb since Cobb actually knows where the Child is hidden

Din goes after Cobb and rescues him from Gideon's clutches. they run and Din realizes how much he actually cares for Cobb. and he doesn't know if he's built to feel love, but he imagines this is what it must feel like. that rush of relief when he sees Cobb is okay, touching him and pulling him along.

Cobb takes Din to the location where the Child is, and Din is struck with all these memories. holding the Child when they were just born. seeing the Child take their first steps, their first words. calling him 'papa'. having to say goodbye to the Child. leaving them forever. and he knows they're not technically his. but they real and they feel like they're his.

so that's how Din and Cobb become parents to their replicant son

#dincobb #cobb vanth #din djarin #mandalorian #star song #blade runner au #i could go on about this #but i think i've said enough lol

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shreddedleopard · 4 years ago

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What do you think of Historia x Eren? I know the dad is the farmer and you ship RivaHisu,but I wanted to get your opinion on the ship.

Hey Anon!

Ooo what a brilliant ask! Thank you 😍

Okay so, disclaimer to begin with: when it comes to fun and fic writing, I am a proud multishipper, and honestly I can be convinced to ship most characters if common ground can be drawn up between them, especially if I’m reading fics and work has gone into highlighting commonalities between them and showing a basis for some good chemistry due to their personalities and values. I’m all about narrative potential, rather than what exists in the original work or has already been shown, if that makes sense. In this sense, of course Erehisu can work.

When it comes to the canon story, because we never really get much in the way of explicit ‘love confessions’ (exception: see Eremika and Falbi lol) I look for experiences in common and shared motivations, beliefs and goals as well as existing or potential for chemistry. This is just how my brain works.

Now. Erehisu. Let me tell you. You may be surprised, but I don’t hate it at all. There was a time when I did, but I think that has more to do with my experiences interacting with other fans than the actual ship itself. I don’t hate it, and in fact, I do believe that for a good portion of the manga, the pairing actually had SO much potential. Let me explain.

So, during Uprising (I know this is now officially ‘The Royal Government Arc’ or something but it will always be Uprising to me), I can totally see how Eren and Historia’s relationship with one another really finds depth; Eren seems to understand Historia, which is refreshing for her as, outside of Ymir, she has been living a lie for most of her life in a search for validation and acceptance from others. Eren is one of the first people to say to her, hey, I like this version of you - the real version - better, and that means so much to Historia. They both go through a tough emotional experience in the Reiss cavern, learning about their family pasts together, and they come out of it on the other side very different people. Although, this is where the cracks do show a little for me: Historia comes out of it more determined than ever to throw away the girl she once was; someone who could be manipulated by others to fulfil roles she never really wanted in search of acceptance. Whereas, if we look at Eren; his behaviour in the chapel was defeatist, hopeless and suicidal. Eren began to hate his identity whereas Historia was determined to embrace her own free will. In this moment, although Historia proclaims she was and would always be Eren’s ally, as people they were hugely different. She saves him when he tells her she should just follow the path that was always set out for her and eat him to retake the Founder. Granted, neither of them understand the true nature of Fritz’s will at this point, but their knee-jerk reactions to the situation really do highlight differences in strength of character. But still, there is potential, as these facts could just be seen as opportunities for them to learn from one another and contribute to their growth into young adults.

They have some nice moments at the orphanage at the end of this arc, where it’s clear Eren respects Historia and admires what she’s doing. There is a smart pass story about them both at the orphanage that I could analyse paired with this conversation in a lot of depth to talk more about their relationship and how they come so close to being a good pairing but things go amiss, but I won’t because this ask is already droning on haha and there are a few other points I want to mention.

Okay so, here is where I read a point made by someone else and this really got my brain firing for their potential as a ship during and post timeskip, and where I guess I started to really understand people’s thinking with pairing them. I saw someone make a point about how, when the volunteers arrive on Paradis and begin working with the military, Eren is kept completely separate from them a lot of the time. Of course this is because of his ‘role’ as the founder and how valuable he is. As Levi mentions, Yelena is not allowed near him. This is a poor decision by the Corps and again, I could waffle on about the this whole situation in more depth as part of an analysis of Eren’s character and the path he ends up on, but I shall refrain! Anyway, this person asked where could Eren be during these instances? Perhaps with Historia, his only other friend outside of the military? And this made so much sense to me and I think made me realise why perhaps Eren confided in Historia in chapter 130.

Historia and Eren can relate to one another during the timeskip because both are burdened with roles neither asked for, and because of these ‘roles’, both are now being segregated from their friends and likely feel very lonely. It’s only natural that they would spend time together and find solace in one another. This is all great, and could have lead to a really wonderful pairing, except that 130 happens and we see that conversation, and here is where Eren drops the ball completely and we see how, despite their common experiences, it is Eren and Historia’s driving motivations, beliefs and desires which set them so starkly apart that for me, they could not work as a couple. At least not if they continue on the course they are set during that conversation. Eren seems to show little understanding or empathy for Historia’s past experiences and how these must have affected her, and completely misses the point that Historia’s wish is now to live for herself and make her own decisions, with her own autonomy. Unfortunately, as this is the last interaction we get between them, and knowing how events turn out, it seems that things do not change and this is the impression of their dynamic I am left with.

About the conversation itself; I could go into lots of detail but essentially I would just be repeating what this brilliant Redditor said in THIS POST.

It’s an excellent analysis of their characters and especially that conversation, and why for me, rather than the deal-maker, it is the deal breaker for erehisu.

The final impression I am left with of this pair is that they are two sides of a coin; they belong together in narrative terms not romantically, but as equals and yet also opposites to one another. What begins at the Reiss cavern only grows throughout the story: Eren seems set on this path of apathetic acceptance of a bleak future of destruction, a fate which he has always been destined to fulfil as he has ‘always been the same’, ever since he was born. Nothing has changed, he’s powerless, he remains on the same path. Whereas, despite circumstances not always being in her favour, Historia seems determined to make and own her choices as her own free will, even when they are not ideal or even potentially seen as the ‘right’ or ‘fair’ path. I feel that they are another tragic version of very close allies that come so close to having romantic potential, and perhaps in a different life could have, but instead because of their differing approaches to their fates, their paths fork and their ideologies clash.

They’re absolutely delicious as a pairing to write about and explore, and because of this I hold them in very high regard, but I can’t get my head around their partnership and relationship - platonic or otherwise - as anything other than something once beautiful and hopeful that could only ever end in tragedy.

#snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #eren jaeger #Historia reiss #asks #AOT

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feynavaley · 4 years ago

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What do you think about the slavic siblings? Their personalities and relations to each other?

Wow, that’s one loaded question! 😅 I’ll try to answer, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to in a satisfactory way.

First of all, a premise: like I have said in regard to other characters, the Slavic siblings aren’t among my favourite characters so I don’t have such a solid and well-analysed characterization for them as I do for others (chiefly, the FACE family members). Moreover, they’re quite complex characters and they appear a lot in canon which means that, without focusing specifically on them, it’s easy for me to have missed something. Nevertheless, I can try to give a brief answer (just touching what I think are some core aspects of their personalities) to the best of my abilities.

Ukraine

I’m starting with her because she sounds like the easiest one to pin down. She’s stabler than her siblings, at least. I see her as a woman who witnessed a lot of suffering during her childhood and had to mature quite fast because of it – but, instead of becoming jaded, she turned her suffering into empathy and compassion. Knowing so well what suffering means and how it can damage people, she does her best to always treat others with kindness and patience, to give them a chance to get better before writing them off as ‘bad people’. She has seen what violence does and she wants to break the cycle.

Her compassion makes her very motherly, too. Once she gets fond of people, she actively looks after them and their well-being. She’s the kind of person who is at her happiest when she sees the people around her happy. She thinks more about others than about herself – but not because she values herself little or because she has low self-esteem, it’s because she thrives in helping other people. She’s mostly happy with herself and wants to externalize this happiness, to see other people reach this level of satisfaction as well.

People can see her as weak because she isn’t loud, she has a tendency of being quite emotional, and she doesn’t assert herself unless it’s truly needed. She’s the kind of person who prefers to smooth things down instead of being stubborn. Yet, she can also be very firm when she wants to. In particular, I can see her being very protective of her family members.

Russia

Oh, where do I even start about him... he’s such a complex character that I really am not sure of how I see his characterization. I’ve seen many different takes and I found myself agreeing with and enjoying wildly different ones.

The thing about Russia is that I see him as a living, walking contradiction. The fandom is past the days when he was simply dismissed as ‘cruel’ or ‘evil’ and now tends to acknowledge his loneliness, the suffering he had to endure during childhood, and the wish he often expresses to get closer to other people. However, he also undeniably shows a cruel side at times. I can fully acknowledge that this may come from the fact he was subjected to so much violence that he ended up internalizing it as an acceptable way to behave, but this doesn’t change the facts. He doesn’t seem to care too much about hurting other people as long as he reaches his goal. I think both aspects of his character needs to be acknowledged. This duality is part of him.

The impression I ultimately got from Russia is that he’s an extremely self-serving person. He does care about other people, but only in relation to himself. If he’s nice to someone, it isn’t because he genuinely wants the well-being of that person but because he wants what that gesture brings to him: that person’s gratitude and potential friendship. I also think he can get to genuinely care about people (his family, for example) and, in this case, be upset if something happens to them because they are suffering and, conversely, try to make them happy not only because it would make them more well-disposed towards him but also because he just wants them to be. However, this is limited to a small circle of people. When anybody else is involved, I have the impression he just doesn’t care. Not that he would hurt them out of nowhere, but he wouldn’t see it as a problem if he needed to in order to get something he wanted. I don’t think he would enjoy it – but he wouldn’t regret it too much, either. Likewise, he wouldn’t stop to help them unless there was something in for him as well. It’s almost as if he didn’t actually have a sense of morality and of what’s wrong or right. He just takes what he wants and cares when he wants to. Almost like the way a child reasons.

Belarus

Belarus is another mystery, as far as I’m concerned. Like Russia, she seems to carry the scars of a harsh childhood. She’s determined and strong-willed, always working hard and doing her best to get what she wants, but also pessimistic and carrying frankness to the point of rudeness; she doesn’t seem to care at all about people outside from a few selected ones. Personally, I see this as the sign of a person who has suffered much and is trying to protect herself from further suffering by distancing herself from anything that could become a weakness. Moreover, I read her as one of those people who use the strength of will they developed to overcome their trials as a way to scorn people who didn’t manage to find the same strength. In other words, Belarus feels justified to hold in contempt ‘weaker’ people because by enduring what she did, she proved it’s possible to do so. Those who don’t manage just don’t try hard enough, in her opinion. They don’t deserve compassion. Just like her, they must bear their suffering alone. (This is why she’s always so blunt, too. She doesn’t see the point in softening the blow. If people can’t take the truth, they’re weaklings. They need to learn to do so.)

At the same time, Belarus isn’t a loner – from her interactions with Russia and briefly America, it almost looks like she needs to attach herself to somebody. And once she has found this person, her attachment and devotion reach unhealthy levels. Once again, this may be a result of her trauma. Maybe, having witnessed so much suffering makes her fear the same could happen to those few she cares about and she goes overboard trying to protect them. Or maybe, she feels lost without somebody ‘leading’ her. She spends so much energy building a wall around herself (to protect herself) that she has never had the time to figure out who she wants to be. She ends up dedicating herself fully to somebody because without that, she’d be nothing. She needs external validation and inputs to thrive. It may also be something else, or a mixture of things. As I said, Belarus is a character I have an extremely hard time pinning down.

The Three Siblings

Regarding the interactions of those three siblings as family, instead, I have to say that their familial unit looks almost healthier than the single individuals as it’s somehow adjusted around their flaws.

The one who brings everybody together is Ukraine. As I have already said, her big heart and maternal tendencies mean that she cares immensely for her siblings. She’s able to excuse their flaws because she sees where they come from and at the same time, she genuinely loves them. She wants the best for them; to see them thrive and at the same time, to be part of their lives. She’s the one who constantly checks on everybody and keeps suggesting they hang out together. She’s extremely protective if somebody hurts them, too.

Russia loves Ukraine deeply, of course. How could he not, when she offers him exactly what he yearns the most, affection and warmth? But it isn’t only this. I think Ukraine belongs to those few people Russia genuinely cares about. He mostly lets her do her own thing because he knows she’s capable enough, but he’s also very protective of her. Hurt Ukraine, and you’re dead. No questions asked.

Belarus cares for Ukraine just as much. She also often criticizes her sister, though. Ukraine is one of those people Belarus would consider ‘too weak’ due to her soft-hearted nature. However, Belarus also knows Ukraine too well to dismiss the strength her sister hides behind her kind nature. Belarus begrudgingly respects Ukraine. Moreover, for how much she doesn’t like to admit it, even Belarus is touched by how much Ukraine cares for her and treasures it deeply. Belarus is also very protective of Ukraine and may even be willing to behave a bit better if her sister is present.

In regard to the relationship between Russia and Belarus, instead... Two people with such baggage aren’t a good starting point for a healthy relationship. If we look at canon, the one between them isn’t.

Now, I want to spend a few words on Belarus’s ‘obsession’ towards Russia. I think her attachment stems from both the familial bond they have and her admiration for Russia’s strength; with her bleak outlook, she wants to associate with strong people. And, as I’ve said before, completely devote herself to him. About the ‘marriage’ thing, though – personally, I don’t think there’s a romantic feeling involved. The way I see it, what nations call ‘marriage’ isn’t actually a wedding but a mere political union, a contract. One that grants a personification some rights over another one, basically. There’s nothing about it that is like a human wedding, it’s mutually understood that no kind of feelings (or romantic/sexual relationship between the two parts) is involved. This is why even blood-related siblings can ‘marry’. So, Belarus wants to ‘marry’ Russia because this would be the best way to serve and protect him – both by being always by his side and by ‘rescuing’ him from other unions that could not be as favourable for Russia. Of course, she goes about it completely the wrong way, but all Belarus wants is to protect Russia and to be acknowledged by him as his ally and useful subject.

We know from canon, however, that Russia doesn’t answer well to Belarus’s obsession. He’s creeped out and annoyed by her. Still, I don’t think he hates her. He’s almost like an older sibling who doesn’t have patience for the younger ones. But deep down, he still cares for Belarus because she’s his – his sister and his family. He probably doesn’t enjoy Belarus’s company as much as he enjoys Ukraine’s, but that’s because of the way she behaves. If Belarus were a bit less obsessive, Russia would tolerate her better. He also isn’t so overtly protective of Belarus as he is of Ukraine, but this is because Belarus is more than capable of defending herself (and unlike Ukraine, she doesn’t let anything slide). I think that if somebody ended up actually hurting Belarus, Russia would react just as bad.

...

All these are just my impressions, though. And they might not even be all canon-compliant as I may have missed something. I still hope they make sense! But if you want to explore the slavic siblings, I’d recommend you to have a look at @chessna2, she’s certainly more expert about them than I am!

#hetalia #hetalia headcanon #aph ukraine #aph russia #aph belarus #slavic siblings #feyna's headcanon #feyna talks about hetalia #analysis #character analysis #anonymous #feyna answers #thanks for stopping by!#this was a very brief overview that touched what I think are the core aspects of their personalites #I think there's so much more #quirks and hobbies and what make them well-rounded and unique #but I didn't have enough time right now #this would have become way too long

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beholdme · 4 years ago

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All the Many Shades of Gerry - Chapter 5

Chapters: 5/19

Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Gerard Keay/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist

Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Gerard Keay, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Sasha James, Gertrude Robinson, Elias Bouchard

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Library AU, Librarian Jon, Artist Gerry, Trans Male Character, Trans Martin Blackwood, Canon Asexual Character, Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Ace Subtype - Sex Positive, Polyamory, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romantic Fluff, Falling In Love, Boys in Skirts, Kissing, Demisexual Gerard Keay, Minor Character Death, Past Character Death, Canon-Typical Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Flirting, Minor Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker, Adventures in Hair Dying, Happy Ending, Banter, Gerry has a lot of sass, Gerard Keay is Morticia Adams, Jon is a very grumpy Librarian, Martin adores them anyway.

Summary: In which Gerry is a kaleidoscope and Jon and Martin can't help falling in love with him.

He happens to love them back.

Find it on Ao3

[1] [2] [3] [4]

Gerry has always thought it was very appropriate that his first kiss (with Jon, and overall) happened in the forgotten stacks of a local library. The scents of books and ink had surrounded them, something he still associates with Jon and youthful adoration to this day.

He was seventeen and desperately trying to pass his A-levels in the crumbling ruins of his fucked up life. Jon was nineteen and ready to have a breakdown and drop out of second-year uni. Their messes had conveniently lined up enough to give them space to fall in love. It was a messy, chaotic type of relationship, but that was who they were and it suited them just fine.

They somehow ended up as unlikely study partners after trying to check out the same book for their respective English classes, and then, almost without even noticing, they were inseparable.

Gerry was drawn to Jon because he was steady but in a frenetic, rebellious kind of way. His eyebrow piercing and painted nails also helped.

Jon was enamored with Gerry because he flirted and held his hand and accepted him for exactly what he was and nothing else mattered.

One night, after admittedly too little sleep and too much caffeine, Jon decided he wanted to try something new. It was impulsive. He should have asked first, but instead, he moved without thinking, and somehow Gerry was pushed back against a bookshelf, their lips pressed together in a rather forceful way.

Gerry laughed at him.

"Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for," Jon pouted, drawing away, but not so far that Gerry wasn't able to draw him back with his hands on Jon's hips. Jon's hands, previously bracketing Gerry's face, slipped up to tangle in Gerry's soft, badly dyed black hair.

Fortunately for Gerry, Jon was exactly the right height for Gerry to draw him close and press a kiss to his temple. "You just surprised me, is all. I wasn't expecting you to do that. Like, maybe ever?" He laughed softly, again, an incredulous well of hot affection opening in his chest.

"I was curious," he replied, shrugging. His face burned, with both embarrassment and sappy pleasure. "I thought maybe it would be nice."

"Oooooh." Gerry grinned wickedly, "We'll have to keep trying, then. You know, for investigative purposes. We can't leave a hypothesis improperly explored."

Jon silenced his nonsense by drawing their lips back together, and Gerry happily obliged him. At that moment, Gerry decided to make every kiss better than the one before, so Jon would always feel the need to come back for more.

It turned out they enjoyed kissing one another very, very much. Gerry still appreciated everything Jon offered him and never pressured him for anything more, or extra, or too much. Jon was still steady but wild. Gerry always seemed to end up shirtless. Young infatuation was a beautiful thing, both to behold and to endure.

*******

By the time Jon meets Martin, he's kissed a few more people.

Georgie, for two dizzy years in grad school. Tim, on one memorable and drunken misadventure. A few others sprinkled here and there.

But he couldn't remember ever feeling that same reckless drive to push himself into someone else's space and live in their gravity, the way it had been during those breathless months with Gerry.

As soon as he lets his unfounded anger for Martin's mere presence in his orbit fade, Jon feels himself drawn to Martin's magnetism. His kindness, his gentleness, his constant awareness of Jon's mood and wellbeing.

The way he brings him tea even though he would have insisted he didn't like it and didn't want it. Martin did it anyway because Jon could let it cool or drink it, but the gesture behind it stood all the same.

Jon doesn't imagine that Martin could ever forgive his months of snide remarks and cold disregard, but he does, and Martin somehow manages to like him anyway. Because that's just who Martin is, always finding something to love in even the most desolate places.

"Let me get you a taxi." Martin presses after a dinner date.

"Let me get you a taxi." Jon presses back.

"I live one block away!" Martin laughs and can't resist pulling Jon towards him by the elbows. Jon grabs his lapels with sloppy confidence born of laughter and wine.

The air is full of gentle moisture, not quite raining, just blanketing the world enough that they feel locked away in their own world for the moment. Nevermind that they live in one of the most populous cities in the world. At that moment there is nothing but Jon and Martin and the warmth between them, forging an intoxicating attachment to rattle the stars.

"I want to kiss you," Martin whispers the confession into the space between them, pressing their foreheads together and breathing Jon's air.

"I really wish you would," Jon offers him in return.

Their lips press together gently, deliberately. Martin is taller than Jon by enough that he gets the supreme satisfaction of dragging him slightly up towards him, crowding into his normally sacred personal space.

For a moment, they feel airborne, standing in their huddle of space and time. Their lips move together, dragging and drugging them.

Martin gasps softly as they pull apart to breathe, all their emotion pouring out into the space between them.

"Come home with me," Martin pleads softly. "Just- for time together. I don't want this to end."

"Yes," Jon whispers back, "I think I would like that very much."

It is only one block away, and they walk hand in hand, pausing occasionally to press soft lips together again and again.

*******

Gerry tries to keep a balance of spending time with both Martin and Jon and seeing them separately. He also makes sure to give them space to be together on their own, and never inserts himself between them.

Even after several months, he feels like a guest in their relationship, and for the time being, he doesn't mind existing in that space. He finally knows he wants to keep them both, and he is willing to wait for the natural progression of their relationship to carry them along.

He is still willing to do his part in it, of course.

Gerry likes to go into the bookstore, get flirted with by Tim, flirt with Martin in return. Drink tea or coffee and read books on the comfortable couch in the corner, all the while watching Martin brew drinks and care for his customers.

Martin works 5 or 6 days most weeks, often helping man the counter himself, between the admin of running the place and herding Tim and various baristas. So Gerry is quite taken aback when he goes in early one Monday afternoon to find Martin nowhere in sight.

After a quick check with Jon to make sure it's not a normal absence, Gerry makes his way the short walk to Martin's flat.

At first, there's no answer to his knock. He knocks again. He texts Martin's cell. He calls it too. A pit settles into his stomach, although he knows it's far too early to panic.

He knocks one more time and even calls out for Martin through the door, before going quiet to listen.

After a few nerve-wracking moments, Martin does actually open the door a crack, peering out at Gerry with red, tear-stained eyes.

"Martin? Are you okay, love?" Gerry tries to push forward, but the door doesn't open any further. "I brought you tea. From the shop, even, so it's definitely good."

"Why?" Martin asks in such a bleak voice that Gerry is taken aback.

"I-" He starts, mouth gaping at Martin's completely alien manner. "I thought you might like it. That it would bring you some comfort if you were sick or something."

"Or something," Martin says, the total blank sadness in his voice filling Gerry with biting concern.

"Please let me in." He presses his hand more firmly into the door, and Martin eventually yields, although Gerry knows from unfortunate personal experience that it's more from lack of caring than anything.

"Make yourself at home, I guess." Martin offers the space ahead of him as he moves further into his flat. He collapses on the couch, curling into a fetal position on the cushions.

Gerry's heart burns, both with sympathy and empathy. He has an idea of what might be causing such a bad relapse of Martin's depression, although the topic of mothers is always carefully danced around between the three of them. He puts the tea down in grabbing distance and he goes to Martin's wardrobe to fetch his favorite fluffy blanket.

"You don't have to tell me what's wrong. But I want to be here for you." Gerry tells him firmly as he wraps Martin up in it. "Is there anything specific I can do for you or do you want me to suggest some stuff?"

Martin blinks up at him. "I don't know…"

"I can put the TV on and sit nearby. I know I don't have Jon's voice, but I could read to you. Put on a podcast?" Gerry throws out the suggestions, keeping his tone gentle and neutral. He doesn't want Martin to sense that this is difficult for him in any way. He can process his own emotions later.

"Anything." Martin shifts over onto his side as silent tears resume a steady trail down his face. Gerry walks over to the bookcase and selects a book he has seen Martin reading a dozen times, the spine well broken and the pages yellowing.

He sits on the floor in front of Martin, near enough for him to hopefully be able to absorb some of the goth's errant body heat. He starts reading, keeping his cadence slow and steady, hoping to provide comfort and grounding.

He reads for almost an hour, and he thinks Martin actually sleeps through most of it. He drinks the tea, although it's already cold.

Eventually, he slows to a stop and closes the book, but doesn't move, hoping Martin will stay sleeping.

"I'm sorry." Gerry is startled by Martin's croaky voice and turns to look at him.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"I do," Martin starts, rubbing at his checks and sitting up against the armrest. "I'm a disaster and you had to come all this way and waste all this time just because I can't get my shit together."

Gerry's eyes narrow at this nonsense, but his tone remains gentle. "None of the time I spend with you is ever wasted. I care about you and I want to be here for you. I wish you had called me or Jon so that we could have come sooner."

Martin's face falls at the mention of their mutual boyfriend's name. "Of course. You came for Jon. It would have been pretty bad if he had seen this mess."

"That is not what I said, and it's not what I meant." Gerry's voice rises, from hurt at Martin's words, at the way his mental state twists Gerry's heart in his chest. He pulls himself up onto his knees, putting himself firmly in Martin's personal space and leaning in close so Martin can't avoid his eyes or his words. "Martin, allow me to make myself completely clear. Because I won't allow you for one second longer to believe that you are some kind of consolation prize for me, that I tolerate your presence because I feel like you and Jon are a package deal. That anything I do to show you affection or effort is for Jon's benefit. You are a gift to me. The way I feel for you is completely independent of my feelings for Jon. I love us all together, but you. You fill me with hope and laughter and the warmth of a perfectly brewed cup of tea. I want you just as much as I want Jon, and my heart will never be the same if you were to walk away from me. Please don't push me away because you think I only feel this way about Jon. Because that is the furthest thing from my truth."

His declaration sits heavy in the air between them for a moment, almost shimmering where Gerry can practically see it hanging in the air.

"But, I-"

"No, no buts. I'll accept 'thank you, Gerry, you light up my life too, Gerry.' No arguments. No buts. This is a space where we can accept that people love us."

"Thank you, Gerry," Martin says slowly, pulling Gerry closer to hold the sides of their faces together. Gerry wraps his arms around Martin and rocks them gently. "You fill life with colour, my Gerry."

"Much better, love. I'd really like to kiss you now, if you-" Gerry breaks off as Martin pulls him closer and slots their lips together. The kiss is full of desperate desire to bring Martin closer to Gerry and further from his forsaken loneliness.

Gerry slides himself up off the floor, not breaking contact, and sits astride Martin's lap. Martin sneaks his hands up the back of his shirt, hands confident and familiar from months of tactile flirting and easy affection.

Gerry anchors himself to Martin, and Martin anchors himself to Gerry, and at that moment they feel the nexus of their relationship, both with each other and with Jon, lock firmly into place.

#the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #gerry keay #jongerrymartin #gerard keay #also on ao3

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brightbeautifulthings · 4 years ago

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Complete Tales & Poems by Edgar Allan Poe

"'For the love of God, Montresor!' 'Yes,' I said, 'for the love of God!'"

Year Read: 2020

Rating: 2/5

Context: Starting two years ago, I’ve picked an intimidatingly long classic to read over the course of a year. I have a problem with trying to read books as fast as I possibly can, so if I set myself a thousand page novel, I’ll try to pound it in a week, and it will just be a miserable experience all around. So, a year is a nice compromise. I’ve hit the major Poe horror stories in the past, and I’ve been thinking about rereading them, but I couldn’t decide where to start. Reread my favorites? Read the ones I’ve heard of? What if I’m missing something awesome? As usual, my go-to answer is to read them ALL. For more thoughts on individual stories, see my monthly blog posts. Trigger warnings: character death, torture, live burial, cannibalism, decapitation, animal abuse, injury, severe illness, racism/xenophobia, anti-Semitism, ableism, slurs, mental illness, bitter ranting from the reviewer.

Thoughts: My edition, with an introduction by Wilbur S. Scott, is probably not the edition I would have picked, since I prefer more notes or even essays to help me out with books that are 100+ years old. Context is helpful. Somehow though, my dad and I ended up with the same edition, so we decided to read it together. My dad loves all things horror (I come by it naturally), and we’re both longtime Poe fans, especially if you happen to put Vincent Price in one of his film adaptations. Scott’s introduction is particularly pretentious for a book we probably found in the bargain bin, and he manages to criticize the horror genre for not being “literary enough”. This is an Edgar Allan Poe collection, right? Way to alienate 90% of your audience right from the start. You can’t snub an entire genre and then attempt to explain why people like it. Like a lot of critical writing, it tells us more about Scott than it does about Poe, and I was circling his typos to entertain myself by the end of the introduction.

It did not get better. In short, I actively hated so much of this collection, and it's my most arduous and least enjoyed year-long read to date. To be even shorter, the only stories I found worth reading for pleasure were the horror ones I had already read and loved, and I'm afraid to examine too closely whether that has more to do with nostalgia and pop culture than the stories themselves. Poe has a way of lingering on pointless descriptions and belaboring a point to its absolute death, alongside an aggressively pretentious tone that suggests the narrator (and, by extension, Poe himself), knows everything there is to know about everything and you're an idiot for even asking. His true talent may not be horror, but in turning what might have been a good story into an intellectual soapbox and hammering it the point of absurdity. It would be different if the stories actually were intelligent instead of ridiculous. I’m happy to talk Aristotelian ethics, but the point is never to intellectually engage the reader–-it’s to show how clever the writer is.

On the whole, it seems like Poe struggles with telling a straightforward story, and I can’t tell if it’s because the short story genre has changed so much since then or because he’s so busy trying to show readers how smart he is that he forgets that stories have very specific components like suspense, exposition, or rising action (or endings). Most of them consist of some narrator speaking the entire time (I have all kinds of problems with this, from, “You just ruined the twist of your own story” to “No human talks for thirty uninterrupted minutes unless some idiot gave them a microphone.”), and few of them have anything resembling action, plot/character development, strong themes, or closure. There’s an essay-like quality to some of them (“The Imp of the Perverse”, “The Premature Burial”) where he seems to be trying to tease out a concept on an intellectual level, sometimes for pages and pages, before he remembers that he’s telling a story with characters and what could loosely be called a plot. I could do without all the intellectualizing, verbal grandstanding, and narrative cartwheels; just tell a good story, please.

And he does, sometimes. It's clear why Poe remains an essential part of the horror canon because those are easily the best stories in the collection, and I don't think that's just because I'm a horror fan. Horror seems to age better than some other genres because certain things remain consistently scary over decades or even centuries--being buried alive, for example. “The Fall of the House of Usher” is permeated by a feeling of bleak foreboding, culminating in some truly terrifying images, and “The Tell-tale Heart” is one of the better examples of Poe’s rambling narrator who thinks a lot of his own intelligence and slowly unravels over guilt. Both scared me to death when I was a kid, and I’m happy to see that they still maintain a high creep factor as an adult. (I also had the Great Illustrated Classics Tales of Mystery and Terror as a kid, because all a story about being buried alive needs is an illustration!) “The Cask of Amontillado” has long been one of my favorites (because there is something deeply wrong with me, probably), and “The Pit and the Pendulum” and “The Masque of the Red Death” are both top-notch horrifying, the latter a classic plague story that's a little *too* relevant to the times just now (but, you know, also one of my favorites). The clock symbolism is some of the best in the entire collection. Why, pray tell, would you be afraid of time?

The tolerable stories are the detective ones and the adventure ones, in that order. I can see why Poe’s detective stories like “The Gold Bug” and “The Murders in the Rue Morgue” spawned a genre. I was getting clear Sherlock Holmes vibes from his character, Dupin. However, it reaffirms that something is a classic because of its effects on literature as a whole and not because it’s still all that accessible. Just because something is the first of its kind doesn’t mean it’s the best of its kind; in fact, it usually isn’t because that was only a starting place. I can’t help feeling “Murders” would have been more compelling as a horror story than a detective story. Murdering gorillas are cool; listening to someone talk about murdering gorillas, much less cool. I was extremely irritated by his hot air balloon stories ("The Balloon Hoax", "The Unparalleled Adventure of One Hans Pfaall"), but apparently Jules Verne loved them, which makes a lot of sense. I was getting a lot of Verne vibes from things like "A Descent Into the Maelstrom" and even the utterly long, boring, and racist "Narrative of A. Gordon Pym." It's clear they had influence on other writers, even if they're not the best examples of their genres.

Which brings us back around to the bad. It's not worth my time or yours to list all the terrible stories in this collection, but I can briefly summarize what I found so terrible about them. First, Poe is tragically, emphatically unfunny. The things he seems to find humorous are either in very poor taste now (his tasteless descriptions of mental patients in “The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether”), or they’re outright ridiculous, almost slapstick, like the woman who gets her head stuck in a clock and is subsequently decapitated by it in “A Predicament,” which is an odd sequel to “How to Write a Blackwood Article.” I’m sensing that Poe is making fun of intellectuals or would-be intellectuals here, but with so much time and cultural distance, it’s hard to tell. In any case, it led to a running joke (“I’m going out for groceries!” “Don’t stick your head in any clocks!”). Somehow, I doubt this is the major takeaway Poe was hoping for.

Worst of all, they don't age well on representation either. Poe seems at pains to offend every single minority he possibly can throughout his oeuvre. There are a lot of horribly racist depictions of African Americans, snide comments about Jewish people (or the much more obvious anti-Semitism in “Four Beasts In One” where a mad king has a thousand Jews killed--really?), and blatant ableism (“Hop-Frog”). It's at its worst in "Narrative of A. Gordon Pym," a novella that spans over a hundred pages, that is basically a tedious, xenophobic setup to paint the native population of an island as the most horrific and duplicitous monsters imaginable. (The narrator previously ate one of his shipmates, so can he really afford to throw stones here?) For inexplicable reasons, that story isn't finished, and by that point, I was grateful.

Poe's poetry is a little easier to work through than his prose. I love "The Raven" with its lilting rhymes and dark message, and "Annabel Lee" is very pretty, both ubiquitous in popular culture. I also liked "Dream-Land," "Al Aaraaf" (where Ligeia makes another appearance), and "Alone." Most of the poetry has pretty simple rhyme schemes, the subjects mainly love and loss. There's an excerpt of an unfinished play, "Politian," included as well, but it didn't make much of an impression on me. TL;DR: I stand by my initial opinion, which is to read his horror stories for pleasure and, possibly, his detective and adventure stories for genre purposes, and to skip the rest. I'll probably be looking for a smaller edition of the stories I like. This one is a massive hardcover, more like a book you put on your coffee table to look impressive than a book you actually read (but I don’t have a coffee table, so it’s actually just taking up more room on the shelf than any one book has a right to).

#book review #complete tales and poems #Edgar Allan Poe #horror fiction #poe readalong #2/5 #rating: 2/5 #2020 #bookoween

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miraculouspaon · 4 years ago

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2020 End of Year Recap!

2020 was an awful year for writing. My output had already taken a hit after Ciara was born, but I was still getting out a chapter a month or so on main fics, plus sporadic updates here and there on side pieces. This year...not so much. I lost my job last November, and at the beginning of the year decided to take the plunge into an entire career change, say goodbye to actuarial work, and open up a math tutoring center. This felt like a scary-but-exciting decision in January and felt very different a few months later, after I was completely financially committed. If I had it to do all over I’d still go for it, but yeeeeesh was it way more stressful and hard than I could have predicted twelve months ago. Between getting a new business off the ground, suddenly becoming a full-time stay-at-home mom and navigating a global pandemic, there was very little time or mental energy left for writing this year.

But! The advantage to this is I can actually list every single update I made this year and it’ll be readable. So let’s do it!

1/6: Imogene. Hnnnngh. I just really like this one, guys. It should have been posted in 2019 but I got an extension, and it was worth the wait. I poured all my love of existential angst and questions of personhood into this one, and I’m very proud of the end product. This is the first year I haven’t done ML Secret Santa, so maybe go back and read this one if you missed it last Christmas.

1/21: Aftershocks. This was a nice little Ferd-centric piece set within Heroes, mostly focused on the toll the occupation took on him. Ferd usually shows up in relation to Jonathan, so it’s nice to kind of take a step back and let him be his own character for a bit. If I update this fic ever again, the next chapter will probably be about Prince Stephen, who has like this whole badass Occupation story that lives in my head rent-free and it would be nice to actually publish it, even if Stephen is like a level 3 OC several degrees removed from anything in the actual source material, so maybe I’m the only one who cares about him.

1/30: Sins of the Father Chapter 9. Oh, poor Sins of the Father. I have some very lofty goals for it but they just didn’t really come together this year, so its only update was almost an entire year ago. At least this chapter had some nice character interactions- we got to see Dad!Guardian Nino coach Amira, Adrien and Darcy worked through some shit, and the kwami dropped some exposition re: soulmarks. I have some good ideas for the next chapter but actually writing it has turned out to be a different story, alas.

3/8: The Past is a Foreign Country Chapter 9. Gabriel Agreste Attacks His Granddaughter With A Sword: The Sequel. Also the chapter where AU!Jonathan quips that Emma is from the Mirror Universe, which was fun for me as a Trekkie and also fun just because I like the idea of the main canon universe being the one that’s actually all bleak and awful to everyone else-and after the 2020 we just had, who among us can’t relate?

5/26: The Rose and the Thorn. Almost three months without posting anything BUT this was a five chapter, 18k fic that I had to post all at once since it was part of an event, so really it’s five updates. This might be my favorite fairy tale AU I’ve done? I really love how I was able to adapt the original story to fit the characters of ML. The Beast as a bitter widower instead of a spoiled brat in particular worked very nicely, I think.

6/5: What You Have Tamed Chapter 6. Me at my most shameless, writing AUs of AUs for my pet OCs, I love them. There’s a lot of ways a Ferdithan AU could go, and I spent a lot of time daydreaming about various scenarios. This one preserves more of the canon tragedy than others, but it’s got a kind of gentleness to it I really enjoy.

6/11: Luna Moth Chapter 11. An entire YEAR after chapter 10 went up and I actually managed to finish it. Never say never!

7/2: What You Have Tamed Chapter 7. The conclusion of the Ferdithan Soulmate AU. Very good odds there will be more Ferdithan AUs after this, you guys are all enablers.

7/11: The Past is a Foreign Country Chapter 10. Not much actually happens in this chapter. Jonathan and Gabe have a nice talk in this one, and it was nice to take a closer look at the ways in which this alternate reality is better, and the ways in which it’s maybe not as different as the characters would expect. Emma is also compared to her grandmother, which nobody in her reality has ever done even though she and Adele have plenty in common. Sometimes the people closest to us can’t see the forest for the trees, so it’s nice for Emma to get an outside perspective on her and her situation.

8/27: The Past is a Foreign Country Chapter 11. A little more happens in this chapter, most notably the reveal that it’s Simon’s young son who’s been responsible for (some of) the errant portals, and not Simon himself. We should get deeper into the full implications of that next chapter, whenever that may be.

12/20: Better Halves Chapter 2. Four months of nothing, and then I go and update a fic that’s been dead for almost four years. I’ve never been prouder of myself.

And that’s it! Eleven updates in twelve months, not spread out particularly evenly, and some of them more substantial than others. A bad year for my main fics, but a good year for dusting off old WIPs at least. Here’s to a more fruitful 2021!

#end of year review #I guess my best writing days are well and truly behind me #until Ciara goes off to college anyway

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dotthings · 5 years ago

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Okay SPN 15.04, here we go, where I feel weirdly self-conscious about posting a meta post about an ep that had so much meta on itself and now I’m going to write meta about it, so it’s meta on meta on meta, while I’m having my feelings.

THAT COLD OPEN HOLY CRAP DIRECTOR JENSEN. As a director Jensen always pulls out warm performances from actors and he’s a really kinetic director too. That opening fight sequence I held my breath for a lot of it.

BENNY OH NOES IT’S BENNY (this must be the character Jensen said was one of his favorites and the actor came back to set for one day to do it). “I’ll see you on the other side, brother.” Thanks so MUCH, spn, I thought I was over this and then you come in and reopen that and now I’ve got feelings gdi. Benny was a good friend to Dean. My heart hurts.

Ohshitohshitohshitohshit demon blood Sam. Noooooo. And he kills Dean. I can never erase these images from my mind, thanks a LOT spn.

Just a nightmare of Sam’s except no probably not given Sam’s god-wound, so wow this maybe happens on one of Chuck’s other worlds, that’s fine, oh that’s okay I’m fiiiiine, it’s fine. *covers face*

So we have a flip on early S14 here where Dean was turtling to cope with his trauma which is a healthy thing to do but hiding from the world wasn’t going to fix anything so Sam coaxes him out with a hunt. Dean coaxes Sam out with a hunt only I don’t think hunting works for Sam the same way, it’s not Sam’s mental comfort food the way it is for Dean, but still I appreciate the mirroring there.

Sam’s struggling with Rowena’s death and I think those horrific AU nightmare visions aren’t helping much either, but it’s clear he’s feeling the loss. Her loss, all the recent losses.

Dean trolls Sam with real bacon, which seems like Dean is maybe trying to cheer Sam up by pranking him and trying to cheer himself up via food pranks. Dean has quite the case of the munchies in this ep.

I noticed almost every scene Dean is snacking or drinking from his flask. How’s that whole “Cas walked out and left apparently for good” working out for you Dean, wow, you’re suspiciously chipper while stuffing your face and drinking and Not Talking About It. Did Sam and Dean talk about where’s Cas? Who knows, the ep didn’t mention it, hey SPN you needed a Cas mention, OH WAIT THE EP IS GOING TO CALL ME OUT FOR SAYING THAT.

Seriously though, this is very Dean MO, and I have thoughts about his mood in this ep and how Cas’s absence was felt, and what it means, I’ll get to that later, but even before the last scene Impala talk, I was thinking Cas is a reminder of pain--and no it’s not all about Dean’s anger at Cas, it’s not because Dean is angry at Cas. Cas is a reminder of some things Dean just isn’t coping with very well and part of the problem is Dean cares so much.

So Dean’s snacking and drinking and Sam is feeling the weight of them knowing all the scary things out there while people go on obliviously with their lives and I’m not sure if Sam is envying them or Sam is feeling some existential angst about the state of the world, how people can go about their lives unaware there are real monsters ready to pounce and tear their lives to shreds. And feeling the weight of the job they do in every bone of his body. Sam’s in a dark headspace.

Ok I admit I was not thrilled to see Becky again given her previous episodes and role. SPN’s later in-canon fan characters were much more nuanced and successful and respectful depictions of fans. But as with many other things, this era of SPN is revisiting some things to move them forward in a different way than before, and subvert some things that needed subverting and Becky has had--wait for it--character development. How about that.

Yes, Becky, run, you do not want anything to do with Chuck. Run, Becky run. I’m rooting for her now. RUNNNN.

Along with finding a more constructive way of channeling her interest in the Winchesters’ lives, and having a satisfying fandom creative life and a full life of her own, Becky has funko pops of Sam, Dean, and Cas. LOL. I see you spn.

Dean, still with the case of the munchies. So this is like the eating a whole pint of ice-cream after a break-up, only Dean does it with junk food while hunting vampires.

I enjoyed this conversation between Becky and Chuck about writing immensely. Becky is actually right. Speaking myself as someone who’s suffered from writers block for a while, it’s miserable, and not writing just perpetuates the cycle. You feel cut off from an important part of yourself. And--oh here we go getting meta within meta--I find writing meta on SPN a positive outlet.

“Writing is writing.” Damn Becky’s takedown of Chuck’s derisiveness about fanfic was sizzling and oh excuse me Chuck, what is it you think you were doing with those Supernatural books about your favorite story. Even though he’s the creator, I know. But still. Also seems to be a sly comment on how male-authored “fanfic” based on someone else’s characters or historical characters gets to be professionally published novels and nobody wants to admit it’s fanfic but it is, but women write fanfic and women write novels based on someone else’s characters or historical figures and it gets derided.

Did not expect commentary celebrating the creativity and validity of fanwork of women in particular an episode of SPN, especially not with Becky of all people, but here we are.

Uhhhh is Chuck writing this episode, as it happens? I am seriously uneasy now. What is going on. What is real. Which is what I think Dean is going through because of Chuck and OUCH the Winchesters think they’re free but they’re not but also they are their own people and Chuck isn’t controlling them but it’s like he’s still making the framework?? Or would this case just be happening on his own and Perez is just messing with our heads in this script right now.

Oh damn because this ep wasn’t sadness enough now here we go with the Jack parallels. “I can’t control this.” “I’m a monster.” “I killed someone I love.” Parents doing anything to save their out of control teenage kid or does he need to be killed, so the parents are Cas, while Sam and Dean are Dean.

Interesting that Dean lowered the gun and didn’t kill Jack, but tells Sam they would do that for Jack if it was necessary. You didn’t, though, Dean. You couldn’t go through with it any more than those distressed parents of the vampire teen.

Becky is voicing various non-dire fan complaints here, every lane of the fandom is being gently called out right now. Hahaha including lack of Cas mentions in an ep that pointedly is not!Mentioning Cas because it’s not a mistake there’s actually reasons for that which is just lampshading how much Dean is pointedly Not Going to Talk About Cas.

“Where they sit around doing laundry and talk” -- again every lane of the fandom should feel very called out right now. Seriously, fandom lanes that hate each other’s guts all have that common factor of craving more domesticity, and would like to see the laundry ep of SPN and for many, it has better include Cas, or we’re working through our need for this via fanfics or fanart. Even Jared and Jensen have expressed interest in a “Winchesters do the laundry” kind of episode.

But here’s the thing--here’s the thing about SPN...it depicts domesticity. In small bits of pieces. Even in this ep there’s domesticity. SO HA. It’s not that SPN is against depictions of domesticity, it’s definitely in the toolset of its storytelling, to give the characters more layers, to make their lives seem more real, but there needs to be mostly an action plot because that’s the genre so they mostly kill monsters and we only get nibbles of domesticity.

Becky and Chuck arguing about Chuck’s incredibly dark story ending, after Becky criticized him for the story not having enough bite, was so interesting. While the episode’s dark story ending was actually quite well done IMO and not overdone and yes it’s bleak but it’s supposed to be. So it’s not that sad is always terrible writing, no. It isn’t. But its overuse has been a raging hot topic in spn fandom for years and SPN is a hopeful narrative as well as a bleak one. Overuse of loss of hope and misery can hurt the story, causes a number of fans to become desensitized and lose their emotional engagement for it (which has happened to be at a couple of points in SPN’s long run). So that conversation interested me a great deal, yes it did.

So.....SPN had its current biggest of the biggest of ultimate big bads, the ultimate power God himself, the author, and made him the enthusiast for overuse of the misery pr0n like that’s the only smart way to tell a story. The season’s big bad villain is a misery porn enthusiast.

I’m just gonna....sit here and absorb that for a moment.

Oh and this while all the PR for the show keeps warning us about how sad this story is and how bleak the ending will be, not a happy ending show. Are they warning us? Are they trolling us and misdirecting? Because they made their villain a misery pr0n fanboy and this intelligent, self-aware positive depiction of Becky the fan taking him to task for it.

I feel like could be headed for every story needs its darkness and its light, you need the darkness to appreciate the light, and you need some light or the story is less meaningful. We’ll see.

“I’m a writer,” says Chuck and then takes away everyone Becky loves and then unmakes Becky. This is a purposeful depiction of a writer creator as a sadist. It’s a diabolical reversal on the Stephen King’s Misery scenario. Becky played the deranged fangirl in the past, who kidnaps an object of obsession, now she’s the victim of the deranged sadistic writer who breaks into her home, destroys her life, and then effectively kills her because of his own obsession with making Sam and Dean wretchedly miserable because he thinks that’s the only way to make the story exciting.

*blinks*

In the last scene, oh thanks Sam, for vocalizing the Jack connection.

Hey Dean, that’s really a nice speech and yes Sam did give you a great pep talk but Sam wasn’t the only one who told you what you did still has meaning. This is like 15.01 where Dean is pointedly erasing Cas again despite Cas very obviously having done something Dean refuses to acknowledge. In 15.01 it was Dean leaving Cas out of his us vs the forces of evil speech to Sam, despite Cas having spent most of the ep shooting ghosts in the face and saving Sam’s life twice. Sam and Cas both have given Dean pep talks about the meaning of what they do but only Sam pulled Dean out of it...uhhh yeah that’s not writer error or canon ignoring Cas. That’s Dean trying to push Cas out of his mind. Something there hurts so much Dean isn’t dealing with it right now.

As I said, as I’ve been saying, it’s not so much that Dean is that angry at Cas. It’s not just about Mary. Or about Cas keeping things from him. Although those are all valid reasons for Dean’s hurt and anger. Dean seems to be afraid or hurt over more than that. And his love for Cas, IMO, is part of why this is weighing so heavily. What does he fear. I think it’s connected to the whole existential crisis about Chuck. What if none of this is real. I’ve talked about that in other posts, if none of this is real, if Dean still doubts, then what if what’s between him and Cas isn’t real, what if Cas doesn’t really care about him because none of it real.

Dean valiantly puts a brave face on things here, they keep going, they keep fighting for the sake of those they lost, no matter what, “keep putting one foot in front of the other.” Which makes sense. That’s how you honor those you’ve lost. It’s just that I don’t think Dean has really reached that. He is Not Dealing with an awful lot of stuff here. And we have seen again and again how hard Dean reels from losing loved ones. So what’s going on with Dean here. This is a healthy concept, but not if Dean is just whistling past the graveyard again. This might look like character development except look at what’s been going on with Dean. How deeply losing Mary, losing Jack affected him. The impact of those losses needs to be acknowledged and dealt with in order to truly move on and move forward. It’s like Dean is voicing a healthy outlook but isn’t actually experiencing it. I think Dean is posturing because if he lets all the hurt it right now, it will devour him.

There’s also the part where Sam and Dean have in the past displayed a lack of ability to just keep on keeping on if they lose each other, so they used to sell their souls, or violate the other one’s wishes and autonomy, or let the darkness free, but we’ve also seen them let each other go, and “keep putting one foot in front of the other.” Sam and Dean have done both ways with each other. Dean didn’t exactly just keep on keeping on no problem when Cas died at the end of S12.

Sam voices the other side of things, he can’t just move on right now. He’s feeling all the losses. They’ve piled up and piled up and it’s crushing him. Sam says he "can’t breathe” at times. He brings up Jessica, a loss he suffered 14 years ago.

So Sam and Dean are airing the two aspects of loss and grief on SPN. One the one hand, you don’t just give up and quit because of loss. Honor who you’ve lost and keep on fighting. But losses are deeply felt, and it’s not all okay either. Sam and Dean don’t just shrug off these losses because they have each other. That’s not how this works. They need more than just each other and SPN is increasingly having more and more open dialogue about all of this.

S15 so far has been so much about the impact losing people they love has on Sam and Dean, and why their isolation isn’t a good thing.

And there’s Chuck, the big bad, typing away to add more misery. Because Chuck gets off on giving them loved ones and taking them away, over and over and this isn’t presented as a good thing or a satisfying thing or a desirable thing or a celebration of anything.

#Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #Chuck Shurley #Becky Rosen #spn #supernatural #supernatural spoilers #meta #Sam and Dean: a work in progress #Destiel #Team Free Will #Jack Kline #Castiel

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