#the call went surprisingly well given the fact that i was trying to wake myself up in under 3 seconds

[november-babey]

If you're having a bad day, at least you didn't answer an important phone call while sleeping because you thought it was your alarm

[shoutaaizawas]

Can I request an arrange marriage au with the prompt “Please just kiss me already.” With Hawks?

thank you for the request!!

↳ takami keigo x reader → ❝wings❞

event: au prompts summary: the hero commission wanted you to marry hawks for their own gain. it’s hard for you to accept the loss of freedom but will you gain feelings for him? word count: 7k tags/warnings: drama, fluff, angst, tw kidnapping a/n: um this got a bit out of hand i don’t know what happened edit: i most definitely used the wrong dialogue prompt 😞 i fixed it tho pls excuse my dumb brain

Hawks experienced few freedoms in his life. Since he was young he had been under the hero commissions thumb. It didn’t come as a surprise that they would control this part of his life as well.

Of course, the hero commission would want to ensure their greatest weapon would live on through his bloodline. Hawks wasn’t sure what to think, he supposed that it was in his best interest not to think about it. It wasn’t like he had a choice.

The ground rules were pretty simple, he was to publicly ‘date’ you for a time, then eventually propose and marry you. It didn’t have to be a big spectacle but just enough that people didn’t question the legitimacy of the marriage. You didn’t have to like each other, you didn’t have to get along, you didn’t even have to live in the same house for all they cared. The only thing the commission wanted was for Hawks to have children with a similar quirk if not a better one.

Hawks shoved it down but the thought made him sick. It was all too easy to remember how they had treated him as a child, took his name away, his identity, they took everything from him. They expected him to have a child and let them do the same to his own blood?

He pushed away the thought, he had no choice. He had no freedom.

You were in a similar boat with Hawks. Your family had given you up when you were young and you had a strong quirk. The commission was more than happy to take you in and turn you into a hero. Your quirk was best suited to rescue work, once they trained you and sent you off into the hero world it was easy to forget that they had you under their thumb. It was rare that they asked anything of you other than to go on certain missions.

That was until they called you in one day and told you their plans. It was hard to accept. They wanted you to marry a man you had never even spoken to just to have children they could train into heroes. It revolted you but you had little choice, the hero commission was too powerful and there was little you could do.

Hawks was handsome, you’d give him that. He stood leaning against a wall clad in a black jacket, white shirt, and dark jeans. You watched as he looked down at his phone before he glanced around the area looking for someone. His gaze caught sight of you and a look of recognition passed through his eyes. He called out your hero name as he stood up straight.

“Hey, fancy meeting you here.” He said with a charming smile. You thought to yourself that in another life you might just be a normal girl meeting a normal guy for a normal first date. There would be butterflies in your stomach as his golden eyes met yours.

But this wasn’t that life. You were someone being forced to marry a man you didn’t know. There were no butterflies, just numbness.

“Almost like we planned it.” You said but there was no playfulness in your voice.

“Heh, yeah.” He said rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I got you these, I know that these aren’t normal circumstances but that doesn’t mean I can’t get you some flowers.”

Hawks held out the flowers, it was a small bouquet but it was pretty, wrapped in brown paper.

“Thank you, that’s thoughtful of you.” You said with a small forced smile. You hated the circumstances you were in but you had the feeling that Hawks was in a similar position as you were so the last thing you wanted was to take it out on him.

Dinner was awkward, for all Hawk’s charm in the media it seemed a romantic dinner was enough to throw him off. You couldn’t blame him, you weren’t used to dating. You didn’t have the time to waste on it.

You couldn’t say that you hated Hawks, his awkwardness was surprisingly endearing. A part of you wished you could pretend it was your choice to be with him and throw yourself into the relationship but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel anything.

“I know that we didn’t choose this but I hope we can make the best of it.” Hawks said as you walked out of the restaurant. You looked at him standing there, his crimson wings behind him folded. It was hard not to admire them.

“Look at those wings. Stunning. You could do whatever you want with them. Fly off, anywhere, nothing could stop you. Yet you're here with me.” You said looking at him carefully. “The two of us, powerful heroes but all we really are is two birds locked in a cage.”

“I guess that’s just how it is.” He said his lighthearted demeanor gone.

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

Rationally you knew that it was in your best interest to get to know Hawks. That would only make your life easier, accepting what you knew you couldn’t change. You felt bad, you knew that Hawks was trying his best to go with it despite his lack of experience with relationships.

He gave you gifts, they were surprisingly thoughtful considering you didn’t express your interests to him. He texts you a lot, little things throughout the day. It was oddly endearing and you respected the fact that he didn’t give up despite your lack of interest.

It was a late night, you were over at Hawks apartment for dinner. He invited you over asking for your opinion on a case he was working on. You knew that he used that as an excuse to have you over but you still went with it.

His attempt to make you dinner was valiant even if you had to step in to keep him from burning the place down. It was the thought that counted.

Sitting down in the living room with him, you sipped on a glass of wine. It was rare for you to drink often considering you were always on call as a hero and you assumed Hawks was the same with how tipsy he was after a glass. Not that you could point fingers because you were the same.

“I’m sorry, you’ve tried so hard with me but I can barely manage to smile at you.” You said it seemed the solution to your numbness was at the bottom of a glass of wine. “It was so easy to pretend that I was a normal hero, that I went to a school like everyone else, like I picked my hero name like everyone else, that I had a childhood. But this, us, it makes it impossible to forget. It’s in my face every day that I wake up, every time that I see you. I can’t lie to myself anymore.”

“I accepted that I had no freedom a long time ago.” He said looking at you with sad eyes. You had never seen him look like anything other than the carefree hero the people saw. “That I’m nothing more than a weapon for people playing games that I have no interest in.”

Even without him elaborating you knew that he had been through much more than you had. Your heart sunk in your chest.

“I understand how you’re feeling. I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything, you have enough pressure from the commission.” He said looking serious. “It’s just when I met you I thought that even if this wasn’t my choice it didn’t mean that it couldn’t be a good thing. I’ve been alone so long, it might be nice to be lonely together. I can’t think of anyone else who could understand what we’ve been through. It will take time but I think we could be happy.”

His words hit deep in your chest. It was too much. The wine, the feelings you hadn’t felt in too long. That look in his eyes just shouting at you that he needed love, he needed anything other than the hurt he had felt his whole life. The scariest part was how everything you saw in him you saw in yourself.

You stood up taking a shaky breath.

“I don’t know if I can be that for you.” You said, tears welling in your eyes. Without another word, you walked out. The cold air of the night felt good against your flushed skin. You tried to forget just how sad his honey-colored eyes looked as you walked out.

It had been days since that night and you felt bad. You wished that you could just accept things like he had but every time you thought about it you felt like you were giving in. You knew you had no other option but you still wanted to hold on to the one shred of freedom you had left and if you gave in what did you have left?

Hawks had texted you like normal since that day but you hadn’t replied. You didn’t have a good excuse, you just felt so overwhelmed.

“Pro hero Hawks was hospitalized today after a fight with a villain. The winged hero came out as the winner but was injured badly-” The voice of the reporter filled your ears and you looked up at the screen watching scenes from the fight play out. You flinched as you watched him take a particularly hard hit.

Without thinking you stood up and left, rushing to the hospital that he was in. Thankfully with your status as a hero, it was easy to get in to see other heroes at the hospital. Your heart pounded in your chest, it was complicated between the two of but it didn’t mean you weren’t concerned. In fact, you were surprised at just how scared you were. You couldn’t push away the sick feeling in your stomach.

Opening the door you peeked through to see him laying in the bed, he had bandages around his head and some that went under his hospital gown. He was asleep. You turned to find the nurse that was taking care of him.

“He’s pretty banged up but he’ll make a full recovery.” She said with a warm smile. “We can release him tomorrow if he has someone to stay with him, he needs bed rest and help with his bandages. Do you know if someone can do that for him?”

“I can take care of him.” You said without hesitation, your eagerness surprised even you.

With the knowledge that he wasn’t on his deathbed, you could relax. You stepped in quietly, pulling a chair up to his bedside. Watching the rise and fall of his chest was surprisingly relaxing. It took you a moment to realize that his wings were gone. Your heart rate spiked again as you panicked.

Had he lost his wings? Why would the nurse have not mentioned it? You stood up, placing your hand on his shoulders trying to lean him up to see what had happened.

“Hello to you too.” Hawk's voice startled you and you jumped back. “I have to say that’s a unique way to wake up. One minute I’m passing out after a fight and the next I have you tossing me around.”

“I was not tossing you!” You defended. Only Hawks could wake up after a fight and not hesitate to start teasing you. “I was just checking something.”

“Oh really?” He said. “I don’t have tail feathers if that’s what you were looking for.”

“I was not.” You said folding your arms. “I just didn’t see your wings, I-”

“My wings?” He laughed. “I should have known you only wanted to marry me for my quirk.”

There was a playful look in his eyes but there was a sad truth to the words. You appreciated his humor, trying to make the best of your situation.

“I’m just teasing.” He said before sitting up slowly. He grunted in pain and you reached out to steady him. You watched as his wings, well a smaller version of them spread out. It was kind of cute. “Once my feathers get destroyed it takes a few days for them to grow back. Just give them some time.”

“Oh. I didn’t know.” You said relaxing. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Me too.” He said with a smirk as he laid back.

“The nurse said you could go home tomorrow.” You explained. He quirked an eyebrow. “I’ll be here to take you home tomorrow when they release you.”

Hawks raised both his eyebrows in surprise but didn’t articulate it.

“Okay.” He said.

“Did you want me to get you food?” You asked. “I know hospital food is the worst part. Well, maybe not to the worst part of being here but it’s pretty bad.”

“You don’t have to.” He said. You thought he would take your offer up right away.

“Let me rephrase that, what do you want? I’m getting you food regardless.”

“Oh.” He paused for a moment. “Um, I like chicken.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back then.” You said with a nod. “Hold tight.”

You convinced yourself it was the guilt you felt for ignoring him the past few days driving you to dote on him but you knew that was a lie. There was something about seeing him hurt, that period of time where you didn’t know just how bad he was hurt or if he would make it. It made your stomach flip. You didn’t like it. It made you want to take care of him, it was an unfamiliar feeling.

On your way back from getting the food you stopped to get flowers, you weren’t sure if he liked them but you figured the gesture was nice enough. You spotted a small round bird plushie, you could resist getting it. There was something about it that reminded you of Hawks.

When you got back to his room he was now sitting up with the beds help watching TV. News reports showed his fight, replaying footage of it. You watched him as he carefully watched the screen.

“That was a pretty tough fight.” You said setting the food down on the table before rolling it in front of him. You grabbed his food out for him. “Makes me glad I’m a rescue hero, I don’t fight villains very often.”

“It can be rough sometimes but nothing beats the feeling after you’ve won.” He said looking at you.

“Even when you pass out right after?” You teased.

“Yeah, even then.” He said with a small laugh. He watched as you placed the flowers at his bedside. “Those are really nice, thank you.”

“Can’t compare to all the ones they’ve gotten from the fans. But you bought me flowers so I thought it was my turn.” You said. “Oh, and I got you this. I’m sure you aren’t a fan of plushies but I couldn’t resist. Looks just like you.”

You handed him the round red bird and he took it with a smirk on his face. He held it up inspecting it.

“Is this what you think of me?” He asked facing it towards you.

“Yeah, the resemblance is uncanny.” You said with a straight face. Hawks laughed, not just a chuckle or a dry laugh, he gave you a genuine laugh. The way his eyes lit up made your heart skip a beat. How could he look so handsome with all those bandages on and in a hospital gown? It wasn’t fair.

Hawks let out a grunt of pain from his excessive laughter.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He said after he calmed down.

Sitting down the two of you ate watching the news report on various things. You would talk here and there about different things. It was odd how things felt so different just in the span of a few days.

The next day you went to the hospital to pick up Hawks taking him back to his apartment. While it was probably nice for him to be out of there and at home the downside was the pain medication they gave him was weaker leaving him in more pain than before. He tried his best to put on that charming smile of his and play it off but you knew he was suffering.

When you got him home you helped him into his bed, setting him up with whatever he needed at his side. You tidied up around his house even though it was pretty clean. You wondered if he had a house cleaner or maybe it was just because he wasn’t home very often. Maybe he put those feathers to work.

Around the late afternoon, you started working on dinner, chicken soup. You knew that he wasn’t sick per se but it was still a healthy dish that would help him recover. You ate with him in his room, cleaning up after dinner.

Once you were done with that you figured his bandages would need changing. You had all the supplies you needed to do so and you were familiar enough with first aid. Your nerves were still through the roof. You knocked on his door before entering.

“I figured you’d want to change them before bed.” You said holding up the roll of gauze you had in your hand.

“That would be nice.” He said sitting up from his position leaning against the pillows with a wince. He turned off the TV leaving the room in silence. A part of you wished he would have left it on so you could distract yourself with something.

You watched as he tried to pull his shirt off, you looked away but glanced back when you heard a grunt of pain.

“Here,” You said grabbing his white shirt from the bottom and pulling it over his head. It took everything in you to keep warmth from blossoming in your cheeks.

It sounded like a simple task, trying to stay professional as you took his bandages off revealing his lean, toned body but in reality, it was a lot harder than anticipated. You did everything you could to keep yourself from looking flustered, you just knew that he would tease you endlessly if he caught on.

Placing the bloodied bandages aside you grabbed the fresh ones. You carefully examined his wounds, making sure that they looked like they were healing right. The gash in his side was deep but looked like it was beginning to heal, the skin that spanned his torso was different shades of purple and black. You winced just looking at it. It made you sad, it had to be hurting him even while he wasn’t moving yet with the way he smiled and teased you it didn’t seem like he was injured this badly.

Gently, you wrapped the gauze around his torso turning your head when you had to get to close to him. You could feel his eyes on you, watching your every move carefully. It made you nervous, you tried not to mess up what you were doing.

Once you finished with that you moved to the gash across his forehead at his hairline. His golden locks had fallen forward and in front of the wound. Soft as you could manage, you brushed the back of your hand across his skin moving the hair out of the way. You noticed how his eyes closed as you did this. For this wound you fished a gauze pad out of your first aid kit, taping it onto his forehead so he wouldn’t have to have the bandages around his head.

“Anything else I can do for you?” You asked. “Do you want me to help you brush your teeth or anything before bed?”

Hawks eyes fluttered open, you tried not to get pulled into them. A soft smile spread across his lips.

“I can manage that.” He said. “Thank you.”

It took everything in you to not run your hands through his hair as you looked down at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” He questioned.

“I was going to spend the night on the couch if you don’t mind.” You explained gesturing towards his living room.

“Oh.” He said looking taken aback. “Yeah, that’s fine. You know you don’t have to.

“It’s okay, I took the time off to help you. I just thought I’d stay over in case you need anything at night.” You explained. A moment of silence passed and you nodded before turning to head to the living room to get ready for bed.

Hawks grabbed your wrist before you could get too far away.

“You can sleep in my bed. The couch isn’t comfortable. To be honest I barely even sit on it, I’m not home that much.” He laughed. “My beds really big, you can pretend I’m not even here.” He said looking over. He wasn’t wrong the bed was giant, far more than a single person needed but you supposed he didn’t put a lot of thought into his furniture.

The thought of sharing a bed with Hawks made your heart beat fast. You knew that he wasn’t being a creep, you trusted him. You didn’t realize you trusted him until this moment. You supposed that was something. You knew he was being nice by offering for you to sleep in the bed but you couldn’t help but wonder if he had any other motive.

You nodded, leaving to get ready for bed. You changed into something more comfortable before doing your nightly routine and making sure everything was put away and turned off before returning to his room.

The TV was still off and Hawks now laid down with his head on the pillow. He looked stiff, you supposed there weren’t many options when you were injured that much. His small wings splayed under him, looking a little more filled out today than they had been yesterday.

You turned off the main light leaving the bedside lamp as the only source before climbing into bed. You laid down at the edge, you felt so awkward. It wasn’t your bed and you were laying next to Hawks, even if there was a good amount of space between the two of you.

“Thank you.” He said, his gaze remaining on the ceiling. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to.” You said, glancing over at him. His expression looked off, gone was the charming hero replaced by someone more vulnerable. A few moments of silence passed and for a moment you wondered if he had fallen asleep quickly.

“Usually when I get hurt this bad I just end up staying in the hospital.” He said in a small voice. “I’ve never had someone take care of me.”

The hint of shakiness in his voice as he told you that nearly broke your heart. In one moment Hawks went from being the number two hero that everyone knew and loved to a small boy who just needed to be taken care of. You looked over at him turning on your side.

“Well, you’ll always have someone to take care of you now.” You said. In one way it was a joke mirroring the ones he had made about your arranged marriage but a part of you meant that genuinely. In one moment Hawks had broken down the walls you had built to hold onto the last shred of your freedom. The weird part was you felt freer now than you had before.

After the time you spent taking care of Hawks you couldn’t deny that you started to feel something for him. It was subtle at first. It began with you replying to his texts and not just passively. Then you found yourself excited for said texts and whenever you got to see him. Then you started texting him first and making plans to spend time with him

Every once and a while you would feel bad, feel like being interested in him was giving up your freedom. Did you really want to deprive yourself of the one happiness you would be allowed in your circumstance?

One night you were returning home from work, you were exhausted it had been a long day and all you wanted to do was collapse on your bed. You smiled as you replied to a text from Hawks watching into your bedroom.

You heard something from the corner of your room, as you turned to it you saw a dark figure approaching you before everything went dark.

Hawks didn’t consider himself a needy person. He had been alone so long he didn’t even know what it was like to have someone care about him other than for their own personal use of him. Then you came into his life, albeit not willingly but you were both on the same page with that. Ever since his injury the two of you had become so close. He enjoyed it a lot more than he would like to admit.

Hawks wasn’t the type of person to overreact when someone didn’t text him back but it seemed you were the exception to that. You had been in the middle of texting him about your day when you stopped.

He paced the house for an hour before he gave into his concerns. It wouldn’t hurt to fly over to your place, it wasn’t fair. He could drop in on your balcony and just make sure everything was alright.

Your apartment was dark, the blinds nearly closed. You wouldn’t have fallen asleep, you had just gotten home. He was sure you didn’t even have time to sit down much less doze off. He peered through the space in the blinds.

Red filled his vision when he spotted you tied to a chair, a man standing over you. Before he could think better of it he smashed through the glass doors with his wings and pinned the man to the ground in one fell swoop.

The feather he had against the man's neck dug into his skin, a trail of red starting. He had never felt more enraged in his life. How could someone touch his girl? How could someone even think of hurting her? He pressed the feather down and the man let out a yelp of pain.

Then he heard a whimper escape you. He let up on his pressure turning to look at you. Sitting there a rag tied around your mouth, tears running down your face. He had never seen you look so upset. It tore his heart apart. Suddenly he didn’t care about the man on the ground. He shot his smaller red feathers into the edges of his clothes pinning him down with no escape before standing up and moving to your side.

Hawks kneeled at your feet, his feathers moving to cut the ropes that kept you on the chair. His hands moved to your face holding you gently between his hands.

“Are you okay, little bird?” He asked, his voice frantic. He hadn’t even noticed he let the nickname slip.

“I-I’m okay.” You said, your hands moving to hold onto his biceps. He could feel the way you were trembling. “You came for me.”

“Of course I did, I’ll always be here for you.” He said. “I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner.”

Hawks glanced back at the man on the floor. He pulled his phone out calling for someone to pick him up and take him away. Once he did he turned his attention back to you.

“I’m going to pick you up now and I’m going to take you to my place. Is that okay?” He asked. You nodded and he didn’t hesitate to pick you up in his arms.

Flying with Hawks was something you had imagines but nothing compared to actually doing it. The wing through your hair, the city lights passing you by. His speed and elegance was incredible. Even with the scare, you had tonight you could appreciate it. It felt like a dream.

The way your cheek rested against his shoulder, brushing against the fur of his coat. The way you fit in his arms like you were made to, it was nice being held by him.

As his feet hit the ground of his balcony lightly you came back from that dream. The fear that you experienced tonight still in your veins. He placed you on his couch, it really was uncomfortable, before standing in front of you. You hadn’t even realized that he grabbed a bag of stuff from your apartment till he sat it down next to you.

“Are you hungry or thirsty? Do you need anything? What do you need?” He said. It was funny seeing him so unsure of what to do.

“I’m just tired, I want to take a shower and sleep.” You told him. He nodded.

“Are you hurt?” He asked looking you over.

Your head throbbed from the man knocking you out and your wrists were sore from where he tied you down. Other than that you were okay.

“I could use some pain killers for a headache but I’m fine.” You told him.

Hawks quickly retrieved you some medicine and a glass of water. You took it thankfully before you went to take a shower. It was amazing how a shower could make things feel so much better. In your favorite pajamas feeling clean and refreshed it was easy to forget what had happened.

That was until you were finishing getting ready to go to bed. You climbed into bed, feeling less awkward than your last stay but still keeping to your side of the bed.

It was all too easy to hear the man’s voice in your head as you started up at the ceiling. Blaming you for not saving his family in the recent incident in the city. You had tried so hard to get everyone to safety but you couldn’t always save everyone. You knew you couldn’t save everyone but it didn’t keep you from blaming yourself. It didn’t help when you had the loved one of the people you lost screaming that at you.

Tears streamed down your face and silent sobs wracked your body. You didn’t even notice when the bed had moved under Hawk's weight. Not until he was leaning over you.

“Hey, hey.” He cooed at you, his hand gently and slowly reaching toward you to wipe away your tears. “Can I hold you?”

You barely had to nod before you were in his arms, he pulled you onto him as he laid down. He tucked you chin into his neck as he ran his hand down your back, keeping you close.

“You can tell me about it if you want to or I can just hold you until you feel better.” He whispered. “Just tell me what you need, anything.”

“His family died in the accident the other week.” You said. “I didn’t save everyone, I should have been able to. What kind of rescue hero loses peo-”

“Even if you did everything right, you’re going to lose people.” Hawks interrupted. “It’s not fair, not to them, not to their family, not to you, not to anyone. That man was grieving and he took it out on the wrong person. You’re an amazing hero and I won’t ever let you forget that, not even if I have to say it a million times.”

“Thank you, Hawks.” You said, your sobs quieting.

“Keigo. Call me Keigo.” He said. You leaned up looking at him, his golden eyes rested so softly on you. “They took my name away when they gave me the name Hawks. They told me to forget it. But I want you to know, to use it. You have a piece of me that I never thought anyone would have, hell I didn’t even know it existed until you came along. You shouldn’t have to call me what everyone else does.”

Blinking up at him you processed everything he just said to you. You wondered if it was even possible to process everything he just said to you. The weirdest part was you felt the same. Hawks- no, Keigo had a piece of you that no one else had. He made you feel things you had never felt before.

“Thank you, Keigo.” You said, pressing your face back into the crook of his neck. Holding him close you felt safe. Like nothing could ever hurt you. The way his strong arms wrapped around you, one hand’s movements soothing you. The way his wings wrapped around the both of you, shielding you from anything bad that could ever happen to you.

After that Keigo insisted you move in. It made sense considering your future plans. If you could call them plans. You could tell Keigo would be at ease knowing you were safe, he even offered to turn the extra room into your own bedroom. You wouldn’t even pretend to be against the idea. The thought of sharing a homemade you feel safe. And as much as you hated to admit it you didn’t mind sharing a room with him, not after you had the best sleep you could recall in years in his arms.

Living with Keigo was nice, at least when he was home. Work kept him busier than you which left you alone time which you appreciated. You started cooking for him, the look on his face when he got home and smelled dinner was priceless. You had never seen someone enjoy your food more. The way he would compliment it on and on made you laugh.

You were happier than you had ever been and your life had never felt more normal. But it wasn’t and as much as you enjoyed things with Keigo you couldn’t forget the shadow looming over you. Even if you cared for him, even if you were okay with marrying him it didn’t take away the fact that the commission wanted you to have children so they could take them away.

You weren’t even sure if you wanted kids but you knew if you did have them you didn’t want them being taken away from you and condemned to the same fate as you.

Keigo was keeping something from you and you didn’t want to push him but you did want to know.

It was dark in your bedroom, Keigo’s room. The sound of quiet cries had woken you up. Looking over you saw Keigo twitching in his sleep. You leaned over him, softly touching his shoulder trying to rouse him from his nightmare.

He sat up with a gasp, scaring you as you pulled back. His wings spread out and puffed up as he looked around his gaze settling on you.

“You’re okay.” He breathed out pulling you into his arms. He shoved his head into the crook of your shoulder, breathing in your scent. “Oh my god, you’re okay.”

“Keigo, I’m right here. It was just a bad dream.” You told him, running your hands through his hair trying to calm him down. “What happened?”

“They took you, they hurt you.” His words came out rushed. “You were- I think you were dead.” His hands gripped into the back of your shirt.

“I’m right here, I’m alive.” You told him, holding him tighter. “Who took me? That guy?”

Maybe he was having a nightmare about the man who had tied you up in your apartment.

“I need to tell you something.” He said quietly leaning back so he could look you in the eyes. “I don’t want you to look at me differently but I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Kei, I won’t look at you differently. I couldn’t.” You said holding his cheek in your palm.

“I’m a double agent, the hero commission wanted me to spy on the league of villains.” He said. “I’ve done horrible things, I- I’ve killed people.”

Keigo looked heartbroken, his eyes tearing up. He looked at you as if you were going to leave. It made sense, the small things you had noticed but were never enough for you to bring up. It all fit into what he told you. It didn’t shock you that the commission would force him into that.

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t have a choice.” You told him. He looked at you in disbelief.

“It doesn’t change what I did.” He said.

“I’m not going to leave, I don’t hate you.” You told him.

Tugging him closer you held him close, wishing that you could make him feel better. You would give anything to take his pain away. Once he calmed down more the both of you started talking about your childhood being raised by the commission. There were a lot of similarities but Keigo had been put through more, turned into a weapon.

Sitting so close to him you were practically on his lap. Your faces were so close, you couldn’t stop looking at his lips. Your gaze would flicker down before returning to his golden eyes. You could feel the pull between the two of you, all those feelings that ran between you swelling up.

“Please just kiss me already.” He whispered and you gave a soft nod. Keigo grabbed the sides of your face pulling you in for a passionate kiss. It was amazing, as you grew closer and closer to him you had imagined kissing him before but this was far better than those daydreams.

Pulling back both of you were breathless, staring at each other with dumb smiles on your faces.

“Kiss me again.” You said before he pulled you back again, his hands moving to your waist.

“I know we didn’t choose each other but there isn’t anyone else who could compare to you, if I could pick anyone in the world to be here with me I would pick you every time. I feel things I’ve never felt before with you. I- I love you.” He said, his thumb brushing your cheek.

“I love you too Keigo, you’re perfect for me.” You said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Keigo went in for another kiss before pulling you to lay down with him on the bed.

“We should run away.” You said as you laid there wrapped in his arms. “Run away where the commission can’t reach us and never look back.”

“Do you think we could manage it? What if they found us?” He said. “We couldn’t be heroes anymore.”

“Haven’t we done enough? How much are we helping by supporting the commission?”

There was a silence as Keigo thought about it.

“I don’t know.” He said, rubbing your back. “Let’s think about it more.”

Weeks passed and it was nice feeling like a real couple with Keigo after you had admitted your feelings for each other. But it didn’t change the fact that the commission still weighed on you. What they had done to you, what they had done to Keigo angered you more than ever. Then they put him in more danger working with the league.

It wasn’t until one day Keigo came home. You knew when he walked in it had been a bad day. He was off. Sitting down next to you he was silent. You looked over at him and he had a blank look on his face.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what you said.” He said quietly. “These wings and for what? I don’t have freedom. You’re right we should run away.”

“Really?” You questioned.

“Yes. I want to be with you by my own choice, I want to marry you because I love you not because we’re being forced. I want to start a family with you and raise our children with the love and childhood we didn’t get to have. I don’t want to be a pawn for them, a weapon. I want to be free.”

“Keigo Takami, will you run away and marry me?” You said taking his hands in yours.

“Nothing would make me happier.” He smiled so brightly it nearly stopped your heart. Happy tears welled in your eyes as you nearly tackled him with a hug.

The two of you traveled anywhere and everywhere you had always wanted to see, you ate all the food you wanted to try and saw everything the world had to offer. Walking along the old streets of Paris hand in hand with Keigo it felt like a dream. How had you come this far? You never thought you could be so free and happy.

Once you grew tired of traveling the two of you bought a house in your favorite place, you knew it was your favorite because you had been so many places at this point. It was secluded and far away from the commission.

Laying on a blanket in the grass of your backyard next to Keigo, you enjoyed the breeze and the sunlight that was just barely warm through the chilly air. Your head rested on his arm as the both of you watched fluffy white clouds float by.

Looking over you caught him staring at you. You smiled at him rolling closer to him leaning down. You brushed your lips against his, smiling against them.

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” You said, hand brushing through his hair.

“Nor would I.” He said before he flipped your positions and smothered you in kisses as you giggled under his attack.

Keigo was familiar with few freedoms in his life. Ever since he met you that all started to change. You should have been just another demonstration of how he lacked any choice but you ended up being the reason he was set free. And you were the reason he was happier than he had ever been in his whole life.

taglist(message to be added or removed): @sugarmaplewings-fics @lilkiwisfinest @ewwis-but-more-otaku @kandy1410 @moonlightaangel @winnies-headcannons @bkglovesyou @paintedr0ses1 @toobsessedsstuff @spellboundxizi @ourladyofseijoh  @x0doodlebug0x @katsushimaa @mooncademia @moon-write @todominica @why-so-red @seijoh

[dickgrcyscns]

Snowfall

Snowfall, John Carter x Female!Reader.

Summary: In which keeping a marriage secret is really difficult. Especially when the both of you are bad at secrets and it's been months of you working around everyone. 

Set During: Season One

Word Count: 2,169 words

Gif used not mine!

Life was full of surprises, you had learned that pretty quickly in the emergency room. And you learned early on to take advantage of the breaks you were given, whether that be due to the weather or because one of the residents (and sometimes an attending) told you to take one. This time around it was for a reason a bit more exciting. You couldn’t help the giddy feeling that the snow elicited in you, after all you had grown up in Chicago and spent hundreds of days playing out in the snow. Staring out the window, listening to the quiet hums of the emergency room with no patients, you thought back to the days you would spend out in the snow. Often you found yourself at the Carter family home, running around in the snow with John as his grandmother stood by the window watching you guys play. It was in the snow that you realized your feelings for him. You were fourteen, rolling around in the snow after he had tackled you down to the ground. Your faces were inches apart and for a split second a part of you wanted to close the distance, press your lips against his own. But some part of you stopped that from happening then. 

And looking back at it, that was one of your biggest regrets. You wished you had taken control earlier than when you did. Nothing could change anything, although, and at least you ended up with him in the end. Of course, you still kicked yourself for falling in love with your best friend. Especially since you had promised yourself that you would never do such a thing. (Then again, who didn’t make promises to themselves that would eventually fall through). Now that you two have been together since you were eighteen, and married for just over two years, everything else seemed small. All of the moments of what could have been seem minuscule in comparison to you guys actually being together. 

“Y/l/n?” You turned your head away from the window, smiling at Susan who had called out your name. “We just pulled a prank on Carter and we’re about to have him find out, so if you want to come and watch.”

“I would love to do nothing more than watch this.” Standing up, you walked into the admit area and stood next to Lydia. “What did you do to him?”

“Just something fun,” Mark smiled. “You’re lucky you weren’t sleeping.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” you mumbled, waving your hand in the air. “Let’s get on with the show.” 

Mark grabbed the intercom from behind him, holding it for a few seconds before he pressed the button. He let out a short laugh before speaking into it, “Doctor Carter stat trauma one, Doctor Carter stat trauma one.”

You leaned onto the counter, arms resting and holding most of your body weight as noises came out from exam room four. A smile formed on your lips when the door opened abruptly, John tumbling out from behind it with a cast on his leg. Laughing, you brought one of your hands up to cover your mouth as John walked closer to everyone standing in the room. He pointed a finger between everyone, a smile playing on his lips as he accused all of you for the cast. The finger landed on you, which made you scoff in response. “Y/n,” John said softly, “did you do this to me?”

You blinked. “No.”

“I have a hard time believing that.”

“I have better things to be doing,” you shrugged. “The cast is cute though, I suggest you keep it.”

“I hate you,” John mumbled, shaking his head. “I’m guessing it was you two then?” He pointed at Susan and Mark who shared a playful look. “Can someone please take it off?”

“I agree with Y/l/n’s statement, it looks cute,” Mark smiled, patting your shoulder. “I’m not taking it off.”

“Neither am I.” Susan grabbed her mug of coffee from the admit desk, walking back to the lounge. “Have fun with that Carter!”

“Thanks!” John screamed out sarcastically, watching as everyone but you walked away from the area as if nothing was wrong. Your care-free persona shifted almost immediately, allowing your soft side to show as you looked over John’s expression. “So now you want to be sweet?”

“I can’t act normal around you,” you felt your cheeks heat up. “They would catch on.”

“And if they did?”

“I’m not sure.” Biting at your tongue, you smiled a little. You reached out to touch his cheek for a fleeting moment, quickly pulling it back before anyone around could see you two. “I would really love to kiss you right now, though.”

“Me too.”

“Snow days just remind me of when we were younger and I would come over to your grandmothers house,” you smiled softly, a chuckle leaving John’s lips. “Do you not remember?”

“Oh no, I do. You would drop by around eight in the morning,” John sat down, angrily tapping on the cast. “That time was when my grandmother was awake and I was still asleep, so you’d spend time with gamma and talk to her. But you were always there when I woke up, effortlessly beautiful. It was unfair, really.”

You leaned down, looking to make sure no one could see you before whispering in his ear, “You know, I always wanted to kiss you in the snow.”

“In the snow?” John mumbled back. “It’s a good things there's a lot of that going around.”

“Do you think they would notice if we just, I don't know, went missing?”

“Probably so,” John pursed his lips, a nod falling from his head. “Seems worth the risk though.”

“It wouldn’t kill us if they found out,” you shrugged innocently. “I mean, I’d just be kissing my husband. It’s not like we have any patients to worry about.”

“Other than myself.”

“Right, sorry. Other than John Carter who is stuck in a cast he doesn't need.”

“No one from the outside knows that,” John stood up. “For all they know, I’m injured.”

You rolled your eyes, walking towards the doors to the ambulance bay. John followed after you, smiling at the sight of the snow falling to the ground. When the cold air enveloped you, you took in a slight breath. Hugging your jacket closer to your body, you looked up at the sky. It was the kind of weather people expected in Chicago, cold and snowy. This time it had the added bonus of being December, which meant there was the possibility for a white Christmas. You loved it when it snowed at Christmas time, it just made the season feel right. John stood beside you, one of his arms resting lightly against your waist. Neither one of you moved to find a remote space, which meant neither one of you were necessarily trying to hide the relationship from the people inside. In fact, if you cared enough you probably would have noticed their faces in the windows of the lobby and the lounge. 

“You know,” John mumbled into your ear, “this would be a lot more fun if we kissed right now.”

“I can think of things more fun than kissing,” you smiled, turning so your body faced his. “Too bad we’re at work right now.”

“So that's how this is going to go?”

“How?”

“With you teasing me.”

“Sure seems like it,” you nodded, a playful smirk on your lips. “I love you, did you know that?”

“Surprisingly, I don’t think I did. Did you know that I love you as well?” 

“Can’t say I was aware of that fact.”

“Strange how that happens.”

“Quite.”

“Are we just going to do this until I kiss you?” John questioned as your lips came closer to each others. 

“I could do this all day,” you whispered against his lips.

“I know you could,” he whispered against yours. 

“Just kiss me.”

“Say no more.”

John quickly pressed his lips to yours, hands coming to cup your cheeks. You wrapped your arms around his neck, curving your body into his. When you two broke apart, you took a few seconds to open your eyes. You were content with everything in that moment. The kiss, the smile on your lips, your husband, and especially the snow that continued to fall around you. When you opened your eyes, you were met with John’s brown doe eyes staring at you. He had a boyish grin stuck on his lips as he pulled you in for another kiss and then another and then another. 

“They’re bound to know now,” you laughed, pulling your arms away from his neck. “At least, they know something. We could keep the fact that we’re married away from them if you want.”

“If we don’t tell them, it’ll keep them guessing.”

“But if we do tell them, we could probably kiss more often while here.”

“This is why you’re the smarter one of the two of us.”

“I’m not surprised,” You began to pull off your coat as you walked in the doors. “I mean, I’m me and you’re you. Of course I’m the smart one.”

“I know that I said that, but it still hurts.”

“Says the one who didn’t wake up when Doctor Greene and Doctor Lewis were putting a cast on your leg,” You laughed, walking into the lounge and putting your coat in your locker. Mark and Susan shared a look, a smirk on their lips. 

“So,” Mark drawled out, a brow raised. “Anything you’d like to tell us?”

“The snow is pretty,” you smiled innocently, putting your stethoscope around your neck. “Don’t you agree John?”

“Definitely, it’s very pretty,” John nodded in response. “I just love when there’s snow outside.”

“Me too.”

“Reminds me of being a kid.”

“And when we would just terrorize your parents until they yelled at us to get out,” you mumbled, pushing at John’s shoulder as the four of you walked out to the admit desk. “God, your dad hated me.”

“Your dad didn’t like me much more,” John retorted. “He really hated me after we started to date.” Your face dropped a little, a smile forming on your lips when everyone in the admit area turned towards you two. His eyes went wide for a moment as he realized what he just said. You let out a slight laugh as Carol walked into the room. 

“Did you just say,” Haleh smiled, pointing a finger between you and John. “Date?”

“I,” John stumbled on his words, making you shake your head. 

“John and I are married,” you shrugged, trying to divert any attention away from it. “Nothing too abnormal going on here. So, how are you guys doing?”

“Married?” Carol blinked a few times, her eyebrows drawing together as she looked between you two. 

“We’ve been together since we were eighteen,” John smiled. “We got married at twenty-one.”

“And you didn’t tell anyone here?” Susan leaned back on the desk, a laugh leaving her lips. “I always thought you two had something going on though. The longing glances were getting old.”

“Personally, I thought it was cute,” Haleh laughed, shaking her head. “Carter’s puppy dog eyes were really the selling point.”

“It was Y/n’s pout that tugged at my heart,” Lydia popped in, making your cheeks flame. “Seriously, all she had to do was jut out her bottom lip and Carter would do anything she wanted.”

“We should have realized this a while ago,” Connie laughed.

"Don’t hold it against yourselves. Honestly, we should have told everyone from the get-go. It’s not like it changes everything for us.”

“You two are cute together,” Carol smiled, placing a hand on your shoulder. She paused, turning back towards you with a wide grin. “Can we see your ring?”

“What?”

“Your ring, can we see it? You don’t wear it on your finger.” Carol grabbed at your hand, holding it in front of your own face. 

“Oh, uh, yeah.” You grabbed at the chain around your neck, unclasping it so you could take your rings off of it. Sliding them on, you smiled a little at them. Your engagement ring was his great-grandmothers, you always found yourself staring at it. Each time you found something new about it: a different knick on the metal on the ring. Each time you often wondered about how it got there. Carol took hold of your hand again once the rings were on it, eyes wide and a smile growing. 

“How’d you afford this Carter?” 

“Family heirloom,” John mumbled, running his hand across the back of his neck. “I definitely wouldn’t be able to afford a diamond that large.”

You bit back a laugh (because the both of you could buy hundreds of diamonds that size if you wanted to), “Not at all.”

At least the snowfall did one good thing (other than stopping the E.R. from constant use), you and John didn’t have to hide anymore. 

[blanknamed]

trial and error pt. 2 [senku x reader]

NOT ME FORGETTING TO POST CHAPTER TWO LMAOOO SORRY HERE IT IS THO

SHIPPING: SENKU X READER

PREMISE: [Name] had always known Senku was a little bit of an oddball but that’s what made him so interesting to her as children. Now in the Stone World, he’s only even more interesting what with his claims about shooting up to a million years worth of technology back, but some things never change with him; specifically on the concept of love. As a way to get him to think about it as something other than “disgusting feelings” she proposes for him to think of it differently, though it seems to be going in a direction she never expected.

PART ONE - PART TWO - PART THREE

{–*–}

CHAPTER TWO: CONTEMPLATION

How did I get myself into this situation? [Name] asked herself desperately, watching Ruri shuffle around her hut, staring at the dresses given by the village women lined up neatly on the floor. She held up a blue dress [Name]’s way, who only stared at the shortened skirt. Just the look alone was enough for Ruri to understand that she didn’t like it, causing her to giggle at the reaction.

“You don’t seem to be happy about this even though you were the one who gave Senku the idea.” Ruri stated as she kneeled behind her to start braiding [Name]’s unruly hair.

“Just because I gave him the idea doesn’t mean I wanted to be his little test subject.” [Name] groaned. An unreadable look passed Ruri as she watched the younger girl’s growing discomfort. If she was even more redder, she would’ve matched what she had looked like a few hours ago.

“Huh?” [Name] asked as she stared at Senku, who only looked at her pointedly. Quickly, blood rushed on every part of her face as she started stutter. “Wha--I--you did not just say what I thought I heard you say.”

“What part did you not understand?” Senku asked dismissively, talking as if he hadn’t just asked out his childhood friend on a date. “I might as well take you on one to get good feedback. No one else gives any as specifc as you.”

Feedback.

Feedback.

The word kept repeating in [Name]’s head, almost making her dizzy. What did she expect, though? She told him, a scientist, to treat it like an experiment. Test a hypothesis. She was pretty sure he only wanted to take her in particular because (1) he wanted good feedback, like he had said, and (2) if there was even a slight chance he was going to take another girl on a date, Senku was going to force [Name] to come along to examine and analyze. Which was, by common sense, not really going to be a date.

“Oi, you don’t say that to a girl, especially if you just asked her out.” Chrome called out, punching Senku on the shoulder. “Not to mention isn’t that a breach in--what was it? Ethnics? Right?”

“Ethics.” Gen corrected before nodding in confirmation, looking at the two friends. “There’s a lot of things that could go wrong because you’re not following the right rules here, Senku-chan. Wouldn’t it be better to just pair up two different villagers who are single and see how romance can be attainable from there?”

[Name] could see slight movements from her side, where a few of the younger villagers turned a hue of pink as they glanced at one another, probably thinking about the prospect of being one of Senku’s experiements. Seeing that the benefits outweighing the negative prospects (not getting injured in any way possible, no one being able to see them except possibly Senku, and the prospects of a lover), it looked like a few of them were already making the decision to be part of it.

But this was Senku. He wasn’t about to play matchmaker if he himself couldn’t even find a reason to think that love wasn’t some illogical construct to fill up human loneliness. She wasn’t the only who was thinking that, though, as Kohaku spoke up.

“But this is about Senku thinking he can’t have those types of feelings so its gonna have to be him.” She replied blandly. “[Name] was probably chosen because he wants her to be there to watch him for any signs, regardless if its here being taken on a date or not.”

“That and she proposed the idea so she’s going to do it.” Senku piped up, sending [Name] a teasing grin.

[Name], burning even redder, stuttered some more. “You-You’ve got to be kidding me Senku. This must be some type of joke. I only said that to make conversation.”

“It was an interesting conversation and a weird statement that I wanna experiment on. Nothing less expected from you, though, [Name].” Senku replied as he kept slurping at the last of his ramen. “Besides its not like you have anything to do tonight.”

“Yeah, but--wait, tonight? Don’t you have get things in order--start out a claim, set up the experiment?” [Name] rambled, now even more confused. 

Kohaku met Chrome’s eyes with a deadpanned expression. Leave it to [Name] to treating it like an actual experiment and finding the faults. Though, Senku wasn’t usually one to leave out so many variables that could ruin the experiment.

“These are special cicumstances; have you ever participated in your own experiments? Adjustments will be made, yeah, but we might as well start it today and talk about it during the date. Just meet me by the bridge tonight. We’ll go to the field, go on a date, and then you can report to me anything you saw. Sound good? Cool. Now lets get back to work.” Senku said, standing up dusting off his pants, leaving a bewildered [Name] and possibly most of the village in his wake.

If it hadn’t been for a few of the village women, [Name] wouldn’t have been pulled out of her daze and internal panic. She’s had crushes on boys, yeah, but going on a date? Not really. She was too busy with school and helping her mother out at the store. There were a few times where she had almost gone on a one, but something always made her call in for a raincheck and then never proceeding afterwards.

But here she was 3,700 years later, sitting in a priestess’s hut, getting ready to go on a date with the world’s biggest asshole.

Kohaku had been the one to think about bringing the younger girl up to Ruri, explaining what had went down. Surprisingly, the village priestess was the least bit shocked about the events, deciding to (calmly) agree anyways to help relieve some of the immense stress [Name] was feeling. At the mention of Ruri helping created some domino effect with the village women, all offering to help [Name] get ready, much to her dismay.

“Its not like Senku’s gonna make the effort to dress nicely. I swear he wouldn’t have showered if I hadn’t made Chrome and Kinro drag him to the river a few days ago! Not to mention he’s only doing this to prove a point; that’s why he’s rushing it so quickly. So I really don’t think all of you should be treating this as anything special.” [Name] tried to reason as she watched the women pull up rope-like jewelry up to her body.

Kohaku scoffed. “Its not like boys know how to take care of themselves in the first place. I’m pretty sure one of the men in the village has his head screwed on properly or most likely Gen is gonna make him dress up just a little bit. Not to mention if this is an experiment then he’s most likely not trying to botch it to just prove a point.”

“Then why was he being so… So…” [Name] trailed off, not quite putting a word on it.

“Adamant?” Ruby offered as she held up a pretty necklace with a jewel attached to it.

“Excited?” Garnet said next as she pushed her chin up to spread something on her mouth. Lipstick? [Name] inquired. I guess the need for makeup never changes after so many years.

“Not really excited but--hold on, didn’t you three want to go on a date with Senku? I thought you’d be mad or something.” [Name] stated, clearly remembering the usual formula of girl’s behaviors during the modern era. It usually involved in some type of “she said he said” situation, where rumors ensued. At the very least, the three sisters should have been upset with her for Senku’s selection in dates.

Sapphire shrugged as she plucked at [Name]’s baggy dress. “We were for a few hours, but we might as well help since you look like you don’t know the first thing about going on a date.”

“Wha--Hey!” [Name] retorted, offended before backtracking. I mean, it’s not like they’re wrong.

“Maybe he actually likes you.” Kohaku suggested as she sat across from [Name]. Silence filled the room as all the girls stared at them. A moment passed between the two girls as they looked at one another until [Name] bursted out laughing, almost smearing her cheek against the lipstick hovering in front of her.

“Not possible. I’m pretty sure he sees me more of a germ than a person. Not to mention he’s never really found the girls in his own grade--the ones older than me--attractive so what’s the likely chance he sees me that way?” She asked when she stopped. She recalled a rumor swirling around the school about Senku rejecting over 10 girls during Valentine’s Day, all of them varying in popularity and looks. 

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, [Name]-san.” Ruri commented as she held another dress up to her, this one looking a little more decent. “You’re easily one of the prettiest girls here.”

“Don’t make me laugh again…” [Name] mumbled to herself, flinching when she felt Sapphire poke at her waist once again. “Oi, why are are you poking me?”

“I’m trying to see what your shape is like so we can let you try on one of the dresses.” Sapphire replied, pouting. “Why do you have to wear such baggy clothes?”

“Practicality.” Was the only response [Name] gave as she tried to keep still when makeup was being put on her.

“That’s a lame excuse. I bet you’re just hiding the fact you have small boobs.”

“My boobs have nothing to do with my clothes. Besides, small boobs or not, it shouldn’t matter what people think about them--!” [Name] yelled out, embarrassed, as a dress was thrown onto her lap.

It was blue, like most of the villager’s clothing, but it seemed more simple and less body-hugging like most of the clothes. It flowed down near the bust, where it had folded nicely around it to adjust to anyone wearing it. The sleeves were puffy and ended where her biceps began, looking kind of like neatly made muffins. Instead of a rope, a thin piece of cloth of the same color was tied to the front, giving a nice, simple finish for the clothing.

If Mom was still alive, she’d probably be looking at how well done this dress was with just a simple loom and needle. [Name] thought as she marveled at the tiny needlework near the waist, creating tiny little flowers near the top. Looking up, she met Ruri’s gentle smile. “That should fit you since one of the village women is identical to your body shape. Now, lets get you dressed; you have to meet up with Senku soon.”

PREVIOUS PART - NEXT PART

[peacehopeandrats]

The Sunday Spotlight

Can’t believe it is Sunday again! These weeks in summer go by too quickly and I completely lose track.

I don’t normally advertise myself on the Sunday Spotlight. In fact, I prefer not to. This post is meant to be the light that shines on someone else’s work. There’s a new line of fics in the works from me though, and I thought that my regular followers might want to see it, especially if you missed my house elf posting the samples from the day before.

Yeah, it says AU. It also says “Dreams.” This series is all about the Golds Rumbelling themselves into anything and everything. The first fic is called A Full Imagination and is Belle Rumbelling The Full Monty as she encounters television for the first time. (Because we all know she would!) I have a fun little arrangement of characters from Belle’s life as of the time everyone wakes from the curse, and I merge that right in with her own memories and the movie that is going on in front of her eyes. My hope is that I can do the whole thing justice.

The whole point of this series is to get a good collection of things together to fill your AU desires, so feel free to prompt me. I can’t guarantee that I will Rumbelle everything I get (I have quite a list myself also and you know how slow I am to post stuff)  but I can promise that I will try to include whatever I get.

If I prompted YOU to Rumbelle something and you aren’t in the mood, remind me and I’ll take that story out of your hands and back into my own brain.

Here’s a snip from  the start of Chapter 2...

Everyone in the room stared at Belle as she held up the clipboard in her hands. “All right,” she told the captive audience spread out among the tables before her. “Your application letters need to be finished before the end of the day. If you have any trouble with them, I’ll be right here.” She pointed to the desk she intended to claim as her own, then promptly sat, making sure her gaze could take in the entire room. Surprisingly, or perhaps not surprisingly given the reputation of the men in front of her, not one of them listened. Instead, they went back to their conversations and card games, chatting with each other as if she weren’t even in the room with them.

“Women only?” Jefferson’s voice bounced up above the crowd, making her glare at him. He only smiled that charming smile of his and settled back down. “Doesn’t seem fair.”

“Not much call for men in this town to watch other men swing their backsides around on stage,” David reminded him.

Jefferson shrugged. “Some of us might.”

Across from him, Gold rolled his eyes. “All right, all right, but I’m telling you, if that keeps up, women around here won’t need us any more. We’ve already lost our jobs when the factory shut down.”

“Some of us come here to look for new jobs,” barked Leroy from the side of the room. He turned in his chair, then gestured at the screen and keyboard he was using. “Not everyone wants to sit around all day feeling useless.”

“We don’t feel useless,” Gold told him. “We are useless. Not a job in this town to be had and not a person around who will hire us. Not with our reputations.”

Leroy huffed. “Change your reputation then. Pick up your pencils and get to work on those papers.”

“You’re not our boss, Leroy,” Jefferson responded, singsonging in a boyish tease. “In fact, we don’t have any bosses any more, not any of us, and not you.”

“You’re just like the rest of us,” Gold huffed, picking up the cards that he’d been dealt, then dropping one down on the table. “Phasing out of existence. Just like the dinosaurs.”

“Yeah, well I actually have dreams for my future, so you can keep on with your games, and continue to be a waste of everyone’s time, but I’m getting back to work.” Leroy turned his back to them all then, grumbling at himself as his fingers jabbed away at the keys.

[100layersofdaddyissues]

Angel - Chapter 3

ITS HERE ITS FINALLY HERE IM SO SORRY. UGH THAT TOOK SO LONG.

but there it is chapter three. I literally wrote most of this chapter while i was in the lobbies of among us games. 

Warnings: Smut, swearing nothing too bad this chapter. 

words: 4.2K!!!!!!!

As the sun rose on the city, your alarm decided to screech its ugly voice across the whole apartment. Why you had decided that waking up at 5am, when you didn’t start work at your new job in Lord Industries at 9am, was absolutely beyond you. You chalked it up to nerves. I mean sure, you were fucking the owner and CEO but that doesn’t mean you’re going to become complacent about this position. Not only were you working in the largest company in most of the country, but you were also Head Marketing for your city’s division. 

           You started your day as you would any other workday, groaning and convincing yourself that leaving bed was worth it. After that, it was coffee and shower time, and if you were lucky you could throw in a cigarette on the balcony, and since you didn’t need to leave for another 4 and a half hours you thought you might just test your luck with multiple. 

Halfway through your shower you heard the phone ringing, you trudged out to the phone wondering who in god’s name was calling at 4:23am. To your great (and welcomed) surprise, it was Darius. “My dearest I’ve been told to inform you that I will be picking you up today, I’ll be at your door by 7:30. So, be ready.” 7:30? That was a whole hour before you were planning on leaving the comfort and security of your new home. 

           “Darius, I didn’t think we started until 9am why are you picking me up so early?” you queried. 

“Well, it seems Maxwell doesn’t want you catching a cab but also did not offer for me to take you both so obviously this means that I will be picking you up first and making me work extra hard.” 

           Oh. he doesn’t want to ride with you to work. You considered that it was perhaps because he didn’t want to incite rumors, but you found it strange, but nonetheless you told Darius that this would be fine and that you would see him at 7:30. An hour early. 

Only you didn’t see Darius at 7:30, in fact you didn’t even see him at 8, it wasn’t until 8:15 hit that you heard any word from him. “Darius I was just about to call a cab you never came? Is everything okay?” 

“Well, it seems Mr. Lord has contracted an illness, called a hangover. I picked him up at 6:30 to get McDonalds. I’ve already dropped him at work, I suspect he’s napping in his office as we speak.” you couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of Max laying on the floor of his office completely passed out. “I’ll be down in a moment, just let me pick out my shoes.” you said back to him, “ahh so I’ll see you by sundown.” Darius quipped back in a lighthearted way. If things ever went belly up with Max, you really hoped you could keep Darius around. 

The ride to the building was filled with the banter you’d become accustomed to with Darius, until you were pulling up to a big silver building, the largest in the city, obviously. You were in absolute shock and awe when you stepped out of the car, you’d thought for a moment in time, ‘woah, this is what ants feel like.’

“Hello ma’am could I see your ID and security badge please?” were the first words you heard when you walked through the doors to the lobby, you stammered over your sentences confused, you didn’t have a security badge, you didn’t realise you’d need one, Maxwell had never mentioned it. “Thank you, Keith, that won’t be necessary, Miss Y/N here is our new head of marketing, I’ve been tasked by Maxwell to escort her to his office.” Darius said coming up behind you. You hadn’t even realised that he had left the car, but here he was escorting you up the escalators. “Ahh yes, I see, of course.” the security guard, Keith, said with a sly smile and a wink. You knew what that meant, and it churned your stomach to think about. How many times had Max given his one-night stands jobs? If he was willing to do it for you, he was willing to do it for others. 

Unfortunately, your question was answered the moment you reached the top floor where Maxwell’s office sat. he had 4, beautiful, well-shaped, pardon your French but devilishly fucking sexy assistants. Why he would need more than one exceptional looking assistant was a question that in itself was the answer. 

“You can’t go in there, Mr. Lord doesn’t like visitors in the morning, he’s especially not looking for new, meat.” one of them all but sneered at you. “Holly if you would quit blabbering, I think I’d like to escort your new head of marketing to your boss if you don’t mind. Will that be okay with you?” Darius was on a roll today in saving you from situations with people. 

As you walked into his office, Maxwell was, surprisingly, upright, on a phone call, drinking coffee and looking all but exasperated. He opened his eyes for only a minute to point at you and then the chair in front of you, and at this Darius left the room and you had no savior from this situation because Maxwell, well, he looked mad. You were worried you’d already done something to upset you and that’s just what you needed right now. An angry man who housing you and providing you job security and most importantly, orgasm security. 

For almost 10 minutes you sat in that chair waiting for Maxwell to be off the phone, never looking up, as to avoid eye contact. When he finally hung up the phone Maxwell stood up, came around the desk and sighed heavily saying, “god I’m glad you’re here,” before all but smashing his lips to yours. Okay. not upset. That’s good, that’s easy to deal with. “I’ve only been here an hour and already I’m just ready to go to your apartment and fuck all my frustration out.” well you weren’t expecting that per se but it’s a welcome surprised. 

“Well, stop me if this is too unprofessional, but you have a perfectly good table to bend me over.” you said, looking up at him through your lashes, trying to look innocent. 

“God you’re incredible woman.” he said pulling you out of your chair and oh would you look at that, bending you over his desk. 

“I really hope you didn’t buy any pants in that shopping haul of yours because having access to your pretty pussy at work is going to work so well for both of us, he said hiking your skirt up just enough so he could pull down your panties, he bent over you until his mouth was hovering at your ear, “you’re going to need to be quiet angel, don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about you now do we?” and before even finishing his sentence his thrust his cock straight into you. It took everything in you to not cry out, but you bit the back of your hand to keep yourself quiet. 

“God it’s only been two days and I missed this pussy, how have I fucked you so hard so often and you’re still this tight? You’re fucking magical, aren’t you? You and your magical cunt are going to kill me, you know that? If I could stop sleeping to have more time to fuck this pussy I would if I could starve myself from food and only eat you dear god I would. So, fucking good.” 

“I thought you said we had to be quiet?” you said to him, with a small smirk on your face that quickly vanished as he spanked your ass a few times, then started thrusting into you with such force you thought you might slip open, he pulled you hair to bring you up against his chest, “that shut you up, didn’t it, you fucking brat,” he said replacing your hair in his hand for your throat. 

Within minutes he was Cumming right into you, he must have realized you hadn’t come yet, only stopping for a split second to pull out, spin you around and replace his cock with his fingers, pushing his cum, back into your cunt, finger fucking you until you were once again about to bite into your hand, when Max switched hands and shoved his cum coated fingers in your mouth to keep you quiet. As you cum around his hand and screamed around the other one, Max could only look at you with lust blown pupils. 

“Well, I think this is the best first day I’ve ever had.” you said to him, completely breathless. 

“It’s about to get better angel, let me show you to your office.” 

He was right, your office did make it better. It was a big, beautiful space, with high ceilings, timber floors and a view to die for, you truly didn’t know how you got so lucky just from a random hookup, but you weren’t but to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

“Max this is absolutely beautiful, did the head of marketing get this office too?” you asked in wonderment. 

Well, actually no, this was my office, but I’ve taken over my father’s office, I think it’s about time I moved into it and you gave the motivation to do so.” his smile was small, but it was sincere, you think that might have been the first sincere smile you’d seen from Max. 

“I’ll let you get acquainted with your new space if you have any questions, my extension is 0204 okay? If any of my assistants give you any grief, just tell them that their bonuses are on the line they’ll smart right up. I promise.” Maxwell gave me a wink and then shut the door. You walked around the room, gingerly touching the walls, the painting, slowly sliding your hand across your desk, you felt a sense of pride wash over you as you sat at your desk, you weren’t really sure what to do first, you searched around your desk for notes, maybe the previous person in your position left. 

Just as you thought you’d found them, your door swung open, a woman with burgundy hair and a bright pink skirt suit walked through the door. 

“Hello sweetheart, I’m here to help you out, I’m your assistant and Mr. Lord told me that you’d be starting today I figured that he wouldn’t have told you anything, so I thought I’d come give you the rundown, I was the last guys assistant too.” she was really perky, very upbeat for 9:13 in the morning. “Oh, you probably think I’m so rude, my name is Sookie, Sookie Amelia Jersey, it’s nice to meet you?” he hadn’t even told anyone your name yet? Okay feeling less special now. 

“y/n my name is y/n y/l/n but just call me y/n, thank you so much I really have no idea what I have to be doing.” you said trying not to sound like you weren’t supposed to be there or that you didn’t know what you were doing. Which you didn’t. But she didn’t need to know that. 

“Well then let’s get right to it.” and with that, you and Sookie started talking business. 

 It seemed like the time was going so slow, that was until the door swung open once again, only this time Darius stood at the door, coffees, and an ominous brown bag. “I knew you wouldn’t have eaten, so I’ve brought sustenance, oh hello Miss Jersey.” Darius really just knew everyone, maybe he’s a wizard. 

“Darius you are absolute life saver, I think you might be the love of my life.” you said with utter certainty that Sookie now probably thinks there’s something going on between you guys. Ahh if only she knew. 

“And you are mine, dear, but before we begin planning the wedding might I suggest food?” he places the coffee down on the table and what you can now see are croissants. Hmm, 4 coffees, 4 croissants. And as if on cue Darius mutters that he’ll be back as he needs to deliver Max his lunch. 

“I didn’t realise you were already in with Darius. That man took me four years to crack, another two for him to start bringing me food, and here you are on your first day on a first name basis? Who did you fuck to get that treatment?” oh god had she caught on? Does this happen a lot? Does Max give jobs to everyone he fucks? Your mind is running a million miles an hour when you sheepishly laugh and tell some lie about how Darius was an old friend. She seemed to buy it as she moved on to talking more about marketing and what you’ll need to do. 

Soon it was the end of the day and Darius was back at your door telling you to meet him at the car. You said goodbye to Sookie and apologized for stopping her from working. 

You left the building and walked to the car seeing Maxwell in the back of the car. Oh. so now he’s good enough to go home with you but not to come to work with you. You see how it is. 

           You greeted him as you entered the car only for him to point at the phone, you looked at Darius in the rear-view mirror and you both shared a look between you that said, “here we go.” 

           Maxwell was on the phone the entire ride back to your apartment, only removing the receiver from his ear to say, “wear something classy I’ll be back at 7.” 

           What? 

           Its Maxwell Lord, you decided it would be safer for you to heed his warning and just wait to find out what happens. Maybe he just wanted to fuck someone high class tonight. 

            As it neared closer to 7 you kept meticulously checking your hair and makeup, making sure there was nothing on the red gown you’d chosen to wear. You really hoped you would figure out what was going on first, so you didn’t need have anxiety waiting to find out. 

           Just before you could contemplate jumping off the fire escape there was a sharp knock at the door, and a very sharply dressed Maxwell. 

           “Hello angel, I’m here to escort you to your first lord industries gala. You look incredible and I am definitely going to ravish you later, but we really should be going.” he all but pulled your arm out of its socket as he led you out of your door towards the elevator 

           “I don’t mean to sound clueless, but what gala? I haven’t been told about a gala?” you said to him, sounding slightly timid. 

           “Oh? Did I not tell you? We’re having a gala to celebrate the surplus budget this quarter and has my new head of management I thought it only proper to escort you there myself. Plus, there will be some CEOs from rival companies there, I do love to gloat to my competitors.” there was a new air around Max, he looked more pristine and confident. Tonight, was going to be intense you could already feel it. Even on the drive over he was, happier? Maybe he really did just get a kick out of showing off. You understood that. You couldn’t lie and say that it didn’t excite you to be walking in on Maxwell’s arm. To have all eyes staring at you wondering who you were and what you were doing with him. 

           As you arrived at the gala there was a slew of cameras lining a beautiful gold carpet. “We always go with gold because red is overdone, and Lord Industries is revolutionary. Were made of gold baby.” well that explained it. Not that you were questioning it, he did seem like the type to break the mould when it comes to luxury. I mean he was housing you just for the luxury of having convenient sex. It just seemed to fit Max really.

           Exiting the car, the barrage of flashes and yelling hit you like a wall, it was a wonder you didn’t freeze up under the pressure, but you walked next to Max with all the poise and confidence you could muster. The photographers were yelling questions at Max, not at you, but they were all asking about you, you kept your head forward and so did Maxwell. He didn’t say anything while walking past them and up the stairs, his expression only changed after entering the building. He turned to you and praised your level of composure before leading you up to two large doors. On the other side you could hear music and chatter, you wondered why you weren’t entering until you heard an announcer say “Folks, I’m sure were all having an absolute stellar time, but I’d like to draw your attention to the man of the hour, Mr. Maxwell Lord.” his voice rang out over large speakers as the doors opened and Maxwell lead you into the ballroom to polite applause. 

           You were stunned at how many people there were standing in the ballroom, you stood there feeling quite awkward at the stares that were being passed your way and the slight glares coming from some of the women, (and a few men) in the room. 

           “My friends and guests, thank you all so much for coming tonight and while I can appreciate that you would all like to go back to drinking my champagne id first like to introduce someone to you, your new head of marketing for Lord Industries, Miss Y/N Y/L/N. I’m sure she’ll fit right in with us and help us continue to be the frontier for this country.” Max had an excellent public speaking voice; he commanded the room, and you couldn’t lie. You got kind of wet seeing him so, for lack of a better word, bossy. 

           Max leaned in and whispered to you, “go mingle, if you need anything Darius will be floating around.” and then he was gone leaving you to your devices. 

           Thankfully, Sookie found you almost immediately, “I just knew he’d leave you floundering the moment you got here, he’s probably already in the bathrooms giving one of his assistants a ‘bonus’ doesn’t worry sweetheart I’ve got you covered ill introduce you to the actual important people.” and so she did. Within the hour you’d met the head of sales, Mary, head of finance, Samuel, and their assistants, Lorelai, and June. she showed you (but absolutely did not introduce you to) the head of Human Resources, Marcus, who was (in her words) a total douchebag, the head of purchasing, Manny, who apparently would want to corrupt you, you didn’t want to ask what that meant but you had some idea and wanted to laugh because if only Sookie knew. By the time you’d met Jenny, lady who ran the coffee shop in the lobby, Darius had found you both and you sighed a breath of relief, you loved Sookie, but you still weren’t too familiar with her. 

           “My dear you look exquisite I told you that you would look amazing in that dress.” Darius said with one of the biggest smiles you’d ever seen him wear. “You’re drunk aren’t you Darius.” you laughed at him; he was wobbling a bit. 

           “Y/N I am offended that you think I would drink at a work function. But yes, I am absolutely sloshed. Galas are the only nights I can get so drunk I can’t walk, and Maxwell doesn’t fire me, he says it’s good for me to let go, I have no idea what he’s talking about. I am very relaxed all the time, who wouldn’t be working for the prince of darkness. Oh god he’s not behind me, is he?” 

           “Darius you’re rambling, he’s not behind you, I haven’t seen you since he left me at the start.” you said trying to get him to stop talking so rapidly.” 

           “Well, my dear he has seen you; he’s been staring at you since Sookie found you.” Darius’ head vaguely pointed to the wall behind him, you stole a glance and sure enough there was Maxwell, talking to someone but not paying attention to them, he was staring right into your soul, it wasn’t a glare or even angry in anyway, but it was intense, like he was trying to read your mind. Somehow you believed he actually might be able to. You gave him a small smile and he nodded his head in your direction. You looked back at Darius, “he’s probably just making sure I don’t embarrass him.” you said trying to write off the fact that he was staring. Trying to convince him it meant nothing. Or yourself that it meant nothing and that there definitely was not butterflies in your stomach. 

           An hour passed as you and Sookie milled around the room, you lost Darius at champagne number three, with him and Sookie both calling you a prude for not drinking, and you telling them every time that you hated champagne and would much prefer tequila. 

           Suddenly a hand tapped you on the shoulder, you spun around expecting Max, or Darius or literally anyone else. But not henry. Not your ex-boss Henry Giorgio. “Y/N it’s so good to see you! I was quite surprised to hear that you had left us, but I can see why, head of marketing and you get to fuck the boss? What a steal!” your eyes widened from shock not just at seeing him but hearing what he said, you grabbed his arm and dragged him towards a wall telling Sookie that you’d be back right away. “What do you mean fucking the boss? I am not sleeping with Mr. Lord and I will not have you come here and try to embarrass me just because I wouldn’t sleep with you.” your voice was low but harsh as you spoke you him. 

           “Oh, please darling, this is Maxwell, every time a new woman under 30 starts at his company everyone knows that it because he’s sleeping with her, but you got head of marketing, you must have really shown him a good time, I mean everyone else just gets assistant jobs, but you, well that must have been a good blowjob.” he was snarky and rude, and you felt like you were going to cry. 

           “Oh, don’t tell me I’ve hurt your feelings, what did you think was going to happen? Maxwell was going to fall for you. Darling I wouldn’t even waste your breath on that idea, that man has never felt love, his fiancée went missing for god sakes and he came home and went to work the very next week. He doesn’t care about you. You could die and he wouldn’t notice.” 

You suspected that Maxwell only hired you because he could fuck you but hearing someone else say it mad tears begin to sting your eyes. You didn’t think you wanted Maxwell to fall for you until that very moment in time. Before you could say anything or think too hard on the subject, you felt someone come up behind you, it was Maxwell, and if you could have tensed up even more. 

           “Is there a problem here Mr. Giorgio, I should hope you’re not trying to steal back our new member of the team.” Maxwell also sounded tense, but you knew better than to think it was because you’d been upset and not because Henry was his rival. 

           “No not at all Maxwell, just giving her my good wishes, is all.” Henry’s voice was dripping in the smug tone you’d heard so many times working for Halo. 

           “Well then if you’re done, I’d like to steal Miss Y/L/N back if you don’t mind.” Henry merely waved Maxwell off but by then you didn’t want to be there anymore, your head was swirling, and you could only feel pity for yourself, you broke away from Maxwell to go find Sookie. 

           “I need to go home, please I want to go home, now.” you were trying so hard not to cry, tears stinging and threatening to spill over as Sookie led you out of the ballroom, and as you passed Darius, him quickly catching on and following. You didn’t see the confused and hurt look on Maxwell’s face.

           After you finally exited, you noticed the cameras had left, and you broke down in Darius’ arms as Sookie called her husband, Jackson, to come pick you all up. Darius gave Jackson the directions to your house, and when Sookie and Darius offered to join you, and take care of you inside you brushed them off giving them a lame apology about going to bed early and that you would see them tomorrow at work.

           As you showered and climbed into bed, you were mad at yourself for getting so hurt, this was just a business arrangement. You weren’t special. And you shouldn’t see Maxwell as special either. But you did. 

           And it sucked.

tags: @mandoalorian-mainblog​ @mrschiltoncat​ @innerstrawberrypolice​ @bonjour-je-mappelle-fuckyou​

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[arcturusreads]

Get By With A Little Help - Twisted Sisters

I miss seeing Christina and I would have loved to see her by Meredith's side after Derek passed away, so here we go.

Cristina took the first flight to Seattle she could get and even that wasn't soon enough. She was still struggling to come to terms with the fact that Derek was dead. It wasn't right. He and Meredith were meant to grow old together, go grey and retire whilst their grandkids ran circles around them in the dream house. That was what was meant to happen. That was what Meredith deserved.

Cristina had no clue how her best friend was keeping it all together at a time like this. When Mere had rung her she wasn't sobbing down the phone. Her voice was just flat, as though she had completely given up and that scared Cristina more than if Mere had been screaming and crying down the phone. Mere had said she was trying to hold everything together for the kids and was trying to comfort everyone at the hospital. The latter had infuriated Cristina. What the hell were they all playing at?

Surprisingly enough, Alex was the only reliable one through all of this. He was around the house whenever he had a spare minute. But she could not believe that Mere was still having to look after everyone else. Surely a situation like this warranted them holding her up and helping her get through this.

The flight to Seattle was, annoyingly, indirect with a six-hour layover. Cristina had screamed and yelled down the phone to the airline trying to find a flight that would get her to her best friend's side sooner but it was the best they could do. The best they could do. Her best friend's soulmate had just died leaving her with two kids and Christina was stuck in some random airport for the next six hours.

When she finally boarded her second and last flight on the day, Cristina coils even try and relax. She had no clue what state Meredith would be in when she got there. Alex hadn't been a fountain of information. All he had said was that Mere was coping the best she could. What did that even mean!? How had she ended up entrusting Evil Spawn with her Person?

When the plane finally landed in Seattle, Cristina ended up being one of the first people of the plane. Her sharp elbows doing most of the work in getting her to the front. Snatching her luggage off of the carousel and nearly taking someone's head off in the process, not that that was a concern for her. Leaving the airport, Cristina looked around for a cab and pushed an elderly man in a suit out of the way and dove into the first one that appeared. She leant back in the seat as the cab drove her to her destination and text Mere three small words.

On my way.

Chucking whatever cash she had at the driver Cristina stumbled out of the car, suitcase behind her and rushed up the path of the dream house to the door. She had only managed to bang on it a couple of time before the door opened revealing a fairly well put together Meredith.

"Christina!" She hissed, "I just put the kids down for a nap."

Cristina just raised an eyebrow and Meredith stepped aside to let her in. A glance over the living area ended up shocking Cristina, it was the tidiest she had ever seen Meredith's place. When she eventually looked back at the young widow, the two of them collapsed in a hug. Meredith's shoulders were heaving up and down from the force of her son's that were muffled by Cristina's shoulder who found her own eyes watering. She gently stroked Mere's hair, hushing her. After a few minutes, Cristina began to guide Meredith over to the sofa and sat her down.

"Let me get you some water."

With tears still streaming down her face, Meredith just gave her a nod. She didn't trust herself to open her mouth, worried that all that would come out would be loud sobs that would end up waking her two children up and worrying them no doubt. Christina came back with a glass of water which Meredith accepted with shaky hands and took small sips from it whilst the two women sat in silence.

"Mere..."

"I haven't been able to cry, Cristina." Meredith put the glass down on the table in front of her and Cristina took the now empty hand. "I haven't been able to. There have been a million things to sort out with the kids, and the hospital, his family and his funeral and the will and I just... I just needed to keep myself together for all of it."

Meredith let out another cry and Cristina held her head to her chest, rubbing her back in soothing circles. "I've got you, Mere. I've got you."

Cristina stayed with Meredith and the kids whilst she was in Seattle, she knew that Meredith was going to need the support and it made sense. The next week was filled her helping plan Derek's funeral, running around after the kids and accepting a lot of casseroles that were dropped off at the house. Whilst people were around, Mere put on a strong front, she didn't get in front of the kids. She just pushed on. But when the guests left and the kids were in bed, Cristina would be her shoulder to cry on.

The day before the funeral, Meredith had spent the morning throwing up. Cristina had managed to give the kids breakfast and they were playing with their toys by the sofa when she finally managed to check in on a very pale looking Meredith, clutching the toilet.

"Everything okay in here?" Cristina left the door open so they could keep an ear out for the kids and sat down opposite Meredith.

"I feel like hell..."

"Probably something dodgy from the Chinese yesterday." Cristina shrugged.

"So why aren't you throwing up? We had the same thing." Cristina just shrugged in response again.

Meredith's eyes suddenly widened, "Cristina, what's the date today?"

"Uhh, the 16th I think, why?" It took a moment before Cristina suddenly clocked on, her face mirroring Meredith's.

"Are you?..."

"I don't know!"

"Do you have a test here?"

"No!" They both shot up.

"Okay, I'm going to go to the pharmacy and you're going to stay here and not freak out!"

"Cristina, I don't know if I can.."

She grabbed Meredith's shoulder before she could continue. "Let's not jump to conclusions here, okay. We'll take the test and then figure out where to go from there, okay?" Meredith nodded.

"Now I'm going to get that test for you. okay?"

Meredith took a deep breathe, "Okay but please don't be long."

Cristina hurried out of the bathroom, Meredith on her heels, grabbed her coat and Meredith's car keys and headed out of the house whilst Mere sat with her kids. Thirty minutes later Cristina walked back through the door with a small paper bag in hand.

"I would have been quicker but you love in the middle of nowhere." She handed Meredith the bag, who immediately went to the bathroom.

Hearing the sound of a door opening three minutes later, Cristina stood up and turned to face Meredith who just nodded at her before joined Cristina on the sofa, looking at her kids.

"He said he wanted more. The morning he left, he said he wanted more."

Cristina wasn't sure what to say to her.

"I don't know if I can do this Cristina..."

"Do you want to..."

Meredith whipped her head to look at Cristina wide-eyed, "No! Absolutely not! I'm just... scared."

"Mere..." Cristina wrapped an arm around Meredith, "You're an awesome, mom. And I know Derek isn't here but you coped without him when he was in D.C."

"This is different though, Cristina."

"I know it is. But Mere, you are the strongest person that I know. You've faced more loss in your life that most people will ever have to deal with by the time they're 90. So, trust me when I tell you that you can do this. You're superwoman, Mere."

Meredith just slowly nodded, "And you'll still be there for me to call?"

"Every single day, no matter what. You will always be my person, Mere."

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

January 3rd or One's Beginning is another's end (Daughters of Darkness)

This passage contains potentially: Explicit Language, Depictions of Violence (including mentions of blood), Smoking, Slang and maybe some bad translations.

Summary: An introduction to the world of the Daughters of Darkness, through the eyes of series protagonist Kirby 'Gluttony' Lucifarian. The first day and night, from her perspective, of them working for the WWF.

Kirby's POV:

Tuesday. The first day of being 'on the job', Tuesday the third of January 1984. Damien got us into the WWF. … Damien, managed to get us into the quickest rising wrestling promotion, popularity wise. To be honest with you, Damien's given us free reign to get to know people, for now. I don't know anyone here. I've heard of people here, such as the most famous giant in the world, and … Hogan.

I'm not here because I earned it, I'm here because I'm a necessity for the team. That's how I view it. That's how I've always viewed it. Vickie needed someone to make fun of and, well, I'm the easiest choice. Then, in the midst of a darker path of thought becoming clearer in my mind...

WHAM

Both me and the figure I waltzed into thudded to the floor, "Oh, my good lord. I'm so sorry are you o..."

I looked at the figure before me, taking in how much trouble I had created in the last three seconds.

Taller than myself.

Head covered by a wild afro.

Around double my weight.

André.

André the giant.

Flat on his arse … because of me.

Oh … Shit.

"Are you alright, Mademoiselle…"

I could tell he was searching for a name but didn't know it. Too frightened to even speak I glanced away. I noticed his shadow move.

"Mademoiselle?"

His footsteps came closer, he sounded … worried, as if he didn't want me to get fired for this.

"Mademoiselle?"

He picked me up, not off the ground, but so I could stand. I whispered out a small 'thank you', or rather 'merci'. His hands still on my shoulders, he smiled sweetly and nodded, as if to beckon forth more words from me.

"I'm Kirby, or rather, Gluttony. I'm new around here."

André grinned, putting his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer before stopping upon seeing how much taller than every other woman in the company I am.

"Are you, uh …" he searched for the words

"A giant, yes, technically a giantess."

I feel I should summarise the next hour or so, but, André took me on a tour of the backstage area and we talked, about everything. Within an hour I had gained a new friend, a genuine friend, someone who didn't care about my height or looks. I know the only reason he didn't care is because he knows what it's like to be stared at just because you aren't 'normal'.

By the time André's tour had ended it was time for Vickie and Damien's interview with Mean Gene, which I was to attend. I said a goodbye to André and rushed off to perform my usual role.

The Enforcer, or rather, the intimidation device, that's my role in this group, to scare people, that's all I do. Before joining the group I was part of another group back in England, The Celtic Warriors, I was part of a championship winning tag team. Now what am I, a damned intimidation device, a human scare tactic.

The Interview:

Gene's first question for us, actually, Damien and Vickie (whilst I stood behind them and looked 'menacing'), was 'How are you doing so far?'

Damien began, "You know something, Gene, my girls have yet to have a match, but we are doing absolutely fine. In shape, ready to rock, ready to roll. Gene, every one of the Daughters of Darkness are doing fine."

Vickie followed suit, "Just look at us," She gestured to me and then herself, "Don't we look marvellous, Gene."

Gene smirked, "You could say that again, miss?"

"Pride, though you can call me Vickie."

Damien glared at the smaller man, almost as if he was daring him to try and flirt with her.

Gene readjusted and focused in on the prospect of new women in the WWF and the possibility of more matches. "Uh hum, yes, now how soon do you girls think you'll be seeing a match on the cards?"

"Soon, Gene, Soon." Vickie stated, ending the interview by walking off.

The first night after 'work' was surprisingly normal, Damien and Vickie went off in their rental car, taking Holly and Eli with them whilst the rest of us stood around backstage for a while.

Billie brought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of her purse, lighting one up and walking over to me, sitting down on a box placed near by and blowing the smoke away from me she spoke up.

"What's up with you, Tall-ass."

"Thinking."

"Dangerous pastime hermana."

"I know, hermana"

"You collect phrases, don' cha?"

"They may come in handy, Billie, one day."

"You going to the gym tomorrow?"

"Of course. Gotta train. Gotta … gotta settle in somehow, right?"

"Right, mi hermana, I'll see you around, alright?"

"See ya, Billie."

She waved back at me as she walked away.

Billie was the only person who knew that I 'collected' those little phrases that seem like nothing until spoken. Language isn't my strongest aspect, more often than not I'm silent and I try to avoid other peo-

"Hey! watch where you're walking man!" I yelped out, shocked back into the present moment. Instantly regret flooded my mind as I realised who had barged past me to get out of the building.

Big John Studd.

One of the most disrespectful 'giants' in the world of wrestling. famous for being the one man who pisses André off more than anyone else, including the Iron Sheik.

He sneered back a quick, "Who gives a fuck." and continued to stroll away.

That … that fuckwit. Who does he think he is. I felt a gentle hand place itself on my shoulder. I turned, expecting to see Eli or P.G, I was face to, well, chin with André.

"Forget about him," He started, with that same sweet, friendly smile from earlier, "Damien said you may need a ride back to the hotel. I don't recommend you walk back now, too dark out for a young lady such as yourself."

The way his R sounds turned into faint W's and he missed off or faintly implied H's was calming. Almost in the same way that hearing a parents voice would calm a child after a nightmare.

"Oh, uh, it's okay André, I was going to get a taxi."

He nodded in response, somehow both downhearted and curious, as if he knew that I was either lying to him or if I did get a taxi, the immense pain my back would be in the following day. André sauntered off, leaving me, once again by myself.

I don't mind being alone, in fact most of my life I have been alone, always the outcast, it was only when I got into wrestling that it started to change.

I picked up my bag and started walking, buttoning up my shirt up to the top of my chest, my near-neon orange shirt covering down to my mid-forearm, hiding any noticeable tattoos, except the one on my wrist, when I turned eighteen, I got a small, runic 'R' on my right wrist, in remembrance of my uncle Rory, the tallest of my dad's brothers.

It took about an hour to get to the hotel, an hour of walking through a city I'm not familiar with, when I eventually got to the hotel I went straight to my room and locked myself in. All alone, I could practice or train if I wanted, so I did.

I took off my black shirt, shoes and belt and I stood in the middle of the hotel room and practiced punching, then I switched to doing my warmups and working out, push-ups, planks, squats. By the time I finished it must've been around midnight, maybe one or two am. I got some sleep, waking up at six, getting changed into some fresh workout gear and headed straight to the gym.

You meet all sorts of characters at a gym, or so I've been told. Back in England I would go to my parents house and use our home-made gym to work out. Not an option that I have anymore, however, the moment I got into the gym, I felt like I was in a whole new world, as if I was just getting into the business all over again. I scanned for any faces that I knew, Mr Fuji, Tonga Kid, Sgt Slaughter, Don Muraco, Lou Albano, Iron Sheik, Freddie Blassie, Tito Santana, Jimmy Snuka, Bob Backlund, Gene and Pat, David Schultz, and … who is that?

I walked over to David and this mystery guy, nodding at David and heading to the heavy bag next to them.

"Mornin' Gluttony, André's been talkin' about ya."

"Oh really, Mr Schultz?" I tried to keep my breath noises to a minimum as I continued to hit the bag.

The mystery guy snickered, quickly shutting up after Schultz glared at him.

"C'mon girl, you know you can call me David. An' yeah," He stopped punching and instead leaned on the heavy bag in front of him, forcing the other guy to hold it still "Giant's been talking about him havin' a new friend and how much he likes ya."

"He's a good man, it's good to have friends in new places. Who's your pal, David?"

He smiled and slung his arm around the shorter man, "This here, this is Roddy Piper. He's like you."

I tilted my head slightly to try and make him explain further.

"You are Scottish, right?"

"I'm a quarter Scottish. Anyway, Piper, Do you speak Gaelic?"

"Uh, no, I can play the bagpipes however." his eyes lit up slightly, a sort of mad fire behind a haze of brown or maybe dark blue.

"Well, I'll see you around I guess, I've gotta warm up for later though."

I tried to block the two men out and focus on my own workout but Piper seemed to stick around a lot longer than David. He was still there when my workout ended.

"What do you want?"

"You're a quarter Scottish, you're also a giant. How do you fight? Show me." He seemed to get more energetic the more he talked.

"Right now?"

He nodded, "Right now, c'mon."

He led me to a ring that some other wrestlers were using to brush up their skills.

From the looks of the ring, it was actually used for boxing.

Roddy entered the ring the same way as most six-foot-two guys did, through the top and middle ropes. I tested the ropes, and seeing that they had just enough slack, used them to jump over the top rope.

"I've never seen a girl do that before."

"Mistake number one, I'm a woman, not a girl. Mistake number two, you expected a giant to be normal."

He scoffed out a laugh and got ready to lock up.

We locked up and Piper hit me with a knee to the stomach.

I got him back with an Irish whip into the corner, accidentally winding him by being too stiff.

"You're gonna pay for that, lass." He snarled out, already getting pissed off.

I sized him up, trying to see how high I would have to get myself in order to dropkick him to the mat.

Piper tried to hit me with a running high knee strike but I countered with a dropkick, taking us both down to the mat and slamming my face into the mat.

The mat was a lot harder than I was used to, it felt like I had rammed my head straight into a cinderblock, I started breathing heavier than before.

I rolled over and put my arms up, making an 'X' with my forearms. Piper stopped and walked over.

"You alright?"

I shook my head.

He knelt down and pulled me up into a sitting position.

I hesitated, knowing I had to take my mask off to see what was wrong but truly not wanting to. Piper managed to unbuckle the straps of my mask and winced as he saw what was underneath. My mind went slightly mad not knowing if he was wincing at the injury I had caused myself or the fact that, compared to the rest of the D.O.D, I'm truly the worst looking, beauty-wise, that is.

Hitting my mouth so hard on the canvas of the mat below us, I had managed to hit my mask in a way that the bottom edge, which curved under my chin, cut into my flesh and made me bleed.

I put my hand up to the cut and Piper quickly held my arm by the wrist and shook his head, "Don't you dare."

By the time I received medical aid, which consisted of cleaning the cut and putting a band-aid on it, Piper had given me back my mask and asked if he could work out with me sometime. Knowing that he was currently on a different show, I said sure and we had split ways.

END OF ONE'S BEGINNING IS ANOTHER'S END / JANUARY 3RD

[fandom-necromancer]

1651. You will regret this.

This was prompted by the amazing @aurea-b! I hope you enjoy, even though it got a bit dark.

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warnings: For Reed900: bullying/mental abuse, Gavin is anti-android at first. For the rest: mentioned implied sexual abuse/rape)

Nines had been confident his future would be better. He was ready to leave his past behind him and thankful for the chance at life the DPD was willing to give him. He had been made Detective and had been given a partner. So far, so good.

Only that his partner had to be Detective Gavin Reed.

It was easy to say the man was a total asshole. There was no sign of compassion in the man, on the contrary even: He liked to be the embodiment of a school bully grown up. He hated androids and let him know it. Giving him useless tasks just to get him out of his way, calling him names and accidentally “spilling” his coffee or any other liquid, causing him more than once to short-cut in non-vital system, was just the tip of it.

It wasn’t as bad as some other things that had been done to Nines during his time at Cyberlife, but he had wanted his life to get better, not just a different kind of bad. The prolonged exposure to the man’s bullying was tiring and at some point, the nights spent alone in the bullpen weren’t enough to brace himself for the next day. He needed to stand up for himself. He had to tell Gavin he couldn’t simply do as he pleased with him. He would start setting simple boundaries, easy enough to respect, and work his way up from there. Surely, the man would be able to learn. Maybe Gavin simply didn’t know that what he was doing was annoying and disrespectful. Who knew how human minds worked. He would come around surely.

So, as Gavin stood up for a smoke break, Nines did so, too. ‘I think I’ll accompany you today.’ ‘Knock yourself out, plastic. Just don’t expect any chit-chat.’ Nines nodded and followed the man, convinced that the fact he hadn’t reacted aggressively just yet was a good sign. Once outside, he waited for Gavin to light his cigarette. He was usually calmer once he had took a few drags and Nines thought that them being alone without anyone watching would make the man more diplomatic. So, when he decided he had waited enough, he spoke up: ‘I want to be called Nines. You don’t call your other co-workers names and I want to be treated the same way. I want you to stop calling me tin-can or toaster or whatever racist term you throw my way.’

Nervously he watched the man’s reaction, who simply took another drag, before putting the not even halfway finished cigarette out and throw it away. ‘Oh yeah? You want that?’ Nines was pleasantly surprised, when the human seemed to actually think about it, nodding to himself. That belief was shattered, when the human looked up grinning and Nines knew he had made a grave mistake. In a sudden fit of anger, Gavin took him by the lapels and pushed him against the next wall. He was a surprisingly lightweight model and although it had been one of the reasons why he was allowed to exist, he really wished Cyberlife would have finished him and installed the heavy reinforced plating.

‘You know what?’, Gavin hissed, pushing him against the wall for emphasis. ‘I don’t give a shit what you want! You are a machine. A tool. You may help me with analysing things and being able to see stuff I can’t. But here’s the thing: You can do nothing I couldn’t do myself with blacklight and a bit of time. I don’t need you. I was fine before and I’m fine now. And how I see it, you don’t have anything to force me to comply. Complain to Fowler, see if I care. The only two options you have, tin-can…’ He smiled and cupped Nines cheek to give him a little slap. ‘Is either become the obedient machine you were supposed to be or fend for yourself on the streets where some kids will have their fun with you one night. Who knows, maybe Cyberlife takes you back in – Oh wait… They didn’t want you either, right?’

If Nines applied any more force to his jaw, he would shatter it. He was furious. What did this human think who he was? He wanted more than anything else in the word to punch this man in the face. Maybe break his nose a second time, see the blood spill and Gavin in pain. A bit of revenge for the last month’s abuse. But even more than the human fuelled his anger did the fact that he was right: That were Nines’ only options. Cyberlife had deactivated him and thrown him into a heavily reinforced room to rot after he had deviated and lashed out on the testing grounds, effectively killing all seven Cyberlife researchers that had tortured him plus some more security guards afterwards. He was deemed dangerous and aggressive; most thought his soldier programming had simply never worked correctly and was too dangerous to develop any further. The DPD’s fifth precinct had been the only one to take him as Connor would be able to easily overpower him without his reinforced hull plates. So, Gavin was right saying he could either obey or live his life as a fugitive on the streets of a city that had only recently began seeing androids as sentient beings. The futility of it all had Nines fuming though and he leaned in, hissing: ‘You will regret this.’ He freed himself from Gavin’s grip and marched back into the building.

He didn’t want to give in. He didn’t want to bow his head and let the Detective slap him around. He continued to stubbornly go his way of enduring the abuse and trying to retaliate, but at this point he was just tired. Maybe trying to fend for himself wasn’t as bad as he thought. He could at least try it and if it wasn’t any better, he could still come back. If his only other option was to become slave to Gavin Reed, then the humiliation of crawling back to the police was just another drop in the ocean. He told no one. He just waited until the nightshift arrived, then he put his badge and gun on his desk and send an apology email to Fowler. He would get out of here. He would get away from Gavin Reed and it would be better surely. These thoughts in mind he nodded to himself and walked out of the building.

-

Gavin came in the next day unsuspecting of what waited for him. As he walked towards his desk and Tina stood next to it, he didn’t think much of it. A grave mistake. ‘Gavin.’ Oh-oh. ‘What the hell did you do to him again?’, she said, her calm voice far worse than any shouting. ‘Isn’t it enough the guy was tortured his whole life?’ ‘The hell you talking about?’, Gavin tried to brush the accusation off, but was interrupted: ‘Did you really need to make it worse? How do you think a bot like him will survive out there? Everyone thinks he’s a murderer! How the hell did you bully him away from the only safe place he knows?’ Gavin held up his hands. ‘It’s just a machine, Tina, chill!’ ‘Just a machine?’ This wasn’t their usual arguments or nagging, Gavin knew. The woman was extremely angry. ‘Gavin. I understood your anti-android bullshit back when it made still sense. Back when those plastics took our jobs and made our lives miserable. But I won’t accept it now. Connor isn’t just a machine. And even if, he saved Hank’s life! If he hadn’t been there, Hank would be dead. That has to account for something, right? And if they were just machines, what would that make me? My fucking girlfriend is an android! Do I love her any less? Do I treat her as if she wasn’t a person?’ Gavin just looked at her, lost for words. She sighed.

‘Wake up Gavin. The world has changed. The world is still changing, damnit. You can’t stop that. And you hurt someone. You met someone who only knew pain and you hurt him even more. I’m sorry Gavin. I liked you once, because you were funny and because you saw what most of these science-fiction freaks didn’t see in their euphemism. But I can’t- I don’t want to stay in contact with someone like that.’ ‘What? Tina!’ ‘No, Gav, please. If you change your mind, I’ll be there for you. But please, don’t speak with me until then.’

 Gavin was at a new low. He knew that as he found himself alone at home the entire week. He started drinking more, the time he spent at work is his only anchor point. He went to work, did his job, came home and waited for the day to end. With Tina gone he was lonely. Worse than lonely, he was alone. They had been constantly with each other, going drinking, to the movies or just chilling at home. His actions had really cost him his last connection to the world. Again. Well, that was fine, right? He had spent the best times of his life alone. He had been successful, moving away from his family to Detroit, acing one exam at the academy after the next, getting a job at the police and quickly making it to Detective. Who said this wouldn’t be the same? He nursed his whiskey bottle and swallowed the burning liquid. Yeah. This wasn’t the first time his life had been miserable. Life had its ups and downs, Gavin’s just seemed to have them at a lower average than normal people. That was fine, he was fine, he would just move on, step after step and pull himself out of the shit he was in right now. He always did.

He didn’t manage to do that for several weeks. He drowned himself in work, but life didn’t get better. He should go out and meet people, maybe some that wouldn’t leave him behind, but deep down he knew he would only meet persons that would drag him down even more. He needed good people to remind him when he was entire shit again, but the problem was that for good people you actually had to change to be likeable. And for him that was just a little too much work.

Finally, after nearly a month, he got one of these big cases that would either destroy you or gain you a promotion. A huge Red Ice lab somewhere in Detroit, base of operation for a whole gang. He had found most of the evidence himself, now it was time for SWAT to build up a plan on how to get in there and arrest everyone involved. Later he could go in and search for more evidence to make sure they got every last one of them. Everything went smoothly. Gavin sat in a police car, watching the black SWAT-vans and listening in on their radio. There were the first easy arrests before inevitably chaos broke loose when they entered the main room and sounded an alarm. But after a short and intense shooting, they had cleared the building.

Gavin sighed, getting out of the car and following his team: Tina, Chris, Person. None of them looked at him, none of them could be bothered. Gavin didn’t care. The first chance he got, he walked away from them, deciding to investigate the basement. He walked through a few small corridors, narrowed even more by pipes running along the ceiling and side. So far nothing indicated anyone really used the area. Until he came to a door that was kept open by a brick. Red light painted the wall, likely emergency lighting. But as he opened the door, he was corrected. In the middle of the room on top of a few dirty mattresses laid an android. It was without its skin and completely naked. Gavin carefully stepped further into the room and froze all over as soon as he recognised the android. ‘No way.’

Nines lay before him, looking up to him with wide eyes. He seemed not able to move anything but his eyes, otherwise Gavin was sure he would have scooted into a corner and not lay there exposed in the open. The android watched him with unbelievable fear and panic in his eyes and his LED a dark red. Gavin swallowed and finally had the sense to crouch down towards him. But that only made it worse, Nines pressing his eyes closed hard, seemingly bracing for something far worse.

Gavin couldn’t take this anymore. The way Nines responded, even if -or maybe because – it had been just his eyes, broke the man. This was his fault. The android indeed had been safe with the DPD. And only because he had repeatedly been an asshole, he had fled one night just to end up as a plaything for some thugs. He knew touching him wouldn’t do any good, so he decided to quickly shrug off his jacket and drape it over Nines’ torso. The android looked up at him in surprise, blinking at him as Gavin positioned the jacket to hide the necessities. Only then he realised he was actually crying. He didn’t even care that the android was watching him closely. He pressed his own eyes closed, whispering: ‘I am so, so sorry.’

Suddenly, the door opened and Nines’ eyes jumped up in panic again. Gavin only sniffed and whipped away his tears with his sleeve before turning around. ‘Tina? Get Connor.’

-

Back at the DPD, Gavin sat at his table, watching Connor and Hank taking Nines to an interrogation room. Gavin didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to know what they would be talking about once they had reactivated the android’s full motor control. He didn’t want to think about what had been the cause of this all and he definitely didn’t want to deal with any of his feelings at the moment. So, when the door opened and Hank’s face turned up at the entrance, Gavin decided to bolt.

He hurried out of the building just to find himself in the DPD parking lot. He leaned heavily on his motorcycle, pushing the key in hoping to get home as soon as possible. Of course, his stupid bike wouldn’t start though. And that was the time, the damn android had made its way out of the building towards him. Nines came to a halt next to him and Gavin simply panicked. He didn’t know what exactly happened, but with all his thoughts racing a mile a minute, he began babbling: ‘I’m sorry, this is all my fault, tin-can, I- Damn, see I can’t get it right even this time! I’m sorry, Nines, I was the one who drove you away. I’m the one who send you straight to them, I’m…’ He couldn’t continue talking as he hadn’t any more air to speak. He felt his chest tighten and his eyes water up and he struggled to even get air through his blocked-up throat. Nines used the break to hold out a hand. ‘I just wanted to give you your jacket back. Thanks for that.’ ‘Thanks? Damn it, bolts- …Nines. I send you to hell and you thank me for bringing a jacket?’ ‘I didn’t expect that’, the android answered in a completely collected manner. ‘Yeah, sure. Wouldn’t expect that from me either if I were you…’, Gavin admitted. ‘You look terrible.’ Gavin chuckled through tears that had started rolling down quietly. ‘Yeah, my life kinda went to shit. Deserved that though.’

‘Why?’ ‘Because I treated you like shit, tin-can!’ Gavin had shouted that, but the echo from the parking lot let him quiet down a bit. ‘I treated you like a machine, like… Phck, even a machine doesn’t deserve the shit I pulled on you.’ ‘No, it doesn’t.’ Gavin swallowed and nodded, looking at his bike. ‘What I did to you wasn’t fair.’ ‘No it wasn’t.’ ‘You endured it all and I made it even worse.’ ‘You did.’

Silence stretched, until Nines spoke up again: ‘Do you regret it?’ ‘Oh, yes. Tin- Nines, yes I regret it like nothing else in my shitshow of a life.’ ‘Would you change the way you treated me if you could?’ ‘Yes…’ Another quiet break followed until Gavin finally looked up and Nines smiled at him. ‘Then prove it. Hank and Connor offered me to live with them should I ever need it again, but I want to stay with the DPD. Although this time I won’t take any shit from you. I would have asked to be partnered up with someone else, but you look like you mean it.’ ‘Phck, yes, Nines, I mean it. I… I don’t think I see your kind as human, maybe I’ll never. But… You are not just a machine. You are a person. If I didn’t see it before, I know it now. The way you… The way you looked at me when… No one should ever look at someone like that. I… I want to make up for what I put you through, I really want to. And I promise you one thing: If I ever do something like that again, if I ever wrong you again, I’ll be the one who leaves. I have… more options than you have.’

Nines laid his hand on his motorcycle to start it up for him, then held it out for him. Gavin hesitantly took it. ‘Then I’ll be looking forward to working with you, Gavin. Just know that I’ll remember your promise and will use it.’ ‘I wouldn’t expect anything else. Detective Nines.’

[short-story100]

WILLIAM AND FELIX short story

am William, and I woke up on a beautiful Saturday morning with a cool breeze blowing through the windows. As much as the morning was adored with beautiful sky colors, I still had mixed feelings about my new school, not about the weather. This worries me because I still love my former school, but time flies and one must skate high in levels and achievement whether I like it or not. At the same time, I'm curious about how my new school will be. The school was founded on a sole proprietorship by my mom before being handed over to the government due to a lack of funds to run it. It has also held the title of best high school in the state for the past nine years. It is, indeed, the school of every child's dreams. They go on excursions within their own country as well as to neighboring countries, national parks, and so on. And, by August of this year, they'll be visiting the National Museum to see long-standing evolution on display. Model High School is, without a doubt, every child's dream school. As much as I want to go there, I'm also wondering if I'll be chosen as one of their students. Will I be able to pass their preliminary entrance examination? Will I be able to pass the main entrance examination, let alone be admitted? These are the issues I ruminate about until Dad came for a morning prayer at my door. As usual, Mom pray to pray one at a time, in offices and in the classrooms. After the prayers, dad jokingly commented that you seem more enthusiastic about getting this admitted in his newly proposed school because of the way you are committing both living and non-living things in the school to prayers, we all laughed, then she panted my cheek and said, "I can't wait to see my boy in those elegant beautiful plaid fabric polyester viscus uniform". . When I heard this, I was tempted to ask, "Was she trying to change my school because of the uniform?" But, of course, she wasn't. Then dad came over to sit by my side on the chair and asked if I wanted to say anything, given the fact that he had an intuition skill of knowing if you had bottled words you wanted to say. Finally, I told my parents that, while I was excited about attending the best school in the state, for me, I had a second glance about whether I would be able to meet their requirements because, according to what I had heard, their cut off mark is 75% at the preliminary entrance level and 70% at the main entrance examination level. Also, if you do not meet the aggregate of 80 percent, you will be placed on probation for a period of time You will most likely be demoted to a lower class and, if your score falls below 50%, you will be withdrawn. To be honest, these figures scare me, even though I'm not your average student, but I'm skeptical. Dad, still holding my hands playfully with a more devoted affection, then said, "You remember, February 15, 6 years ago?" At this point, even Mum was curious about what happened on that day. Then she said, your teacher summoned your mother and me to a private meeting in her office, saying, ‘she didn't think you'd be able to move on to the next class, and I'm afraid if he doesn't meet the required grade, he might have to repeat his class for another year', but here you are today, best student in two different sessions at the same school, and you represented your school in the intrastate academic competition and came third while Model High School came first. Do you know that the most difficult examination or test is not the one you passed or the one you will face at entrance examinations or promotion examinations, and it is not even the American Mensa admission test, California bar exam, or chartered financial analyst examination? However, the most difficult I've encountered thus far is one of mindset. When you allow yourself to be overcome by self-defeat, it may be difficult to answer even the most basic question posed to you. You must shift your perspective and mindset from one of "I can't do it" to one of "I will definitely scale through; I will pass this examination with determination I will pass." You have to remind yourself of that from time to time,' mum added, ‘remember Gabriel your immediate senior who also changed schools to Model High School, he is now doing well and fine, at this time, I felt something bubbling inside me, lighted up and anxious to participate in the preliminary and main entrance examination. Nonetheless, my mother was always present to ensure that I was not overconfident, and that I did not abandon my studies. My Sunday night sleep was like a kilometer of stop and wake intersections. I start imagining how the school will actually look, the entrance beauty alone will be as beautiful as my former school assembly, I can't wait to meet new friends, faces, and also see Gabriel and Sophia, my old friends from my previous school. I remember dreaming of Gabriel throwing his arm over my shoulder, talking with me as we walked down the schoolyard, as if we were going to meet others in the class. I'd wake up with a smile and go back to sleep. I also had a short nightmare in which I saw the principal snarling at a student and telling me, "We can't find your papers, they're not complete," which shocked me. Not long after, he told me to step aside for the next person in line. I awoke worried and terrified, and I dashed to my cabinet to see if there was a missing document among my files. As I was checking, my mother came over and asked, "What are you doing at this time of night, why aren't you in your bed sleeping or probably studying?" I then narrated my dreams and the night mare with a serious expression on my face, only for her to burst out laughing and then stop to prevent me from feeling embarrassed or too childish, and she said it was all a result of my anxiety to get into the school and not something to take seriously, and that your father and I checked and arranged the documents and filed the necessary documents that had been updated at the school webpage. She then assists me in placing the document back in the cabinet while holding my hands back to bed, reminding me of our discussion yesterday to tell myself I will pass the exam; I will scale through, she said kissing my cheek as she walks away, telling me to have a good night's rest and a blissful dream. My alarm went off at 6 a.m., and my mother came over to see why I had allowed the alarm to continue ringing, only to discover that I had been in the bathroom before the alarm even went off. She turned it off to finish her chores. As usual, I completed my morning chores and prayed in the morning. At 6:40 a.m., a heavy downpour began, and I immediately concluded that it would not last. I ate my breakfast of tea and bread in a hurry, dressed up, and prepared for the 9 a.m. examination. Surprisingly, the rain was still falling at 7:45 a.m. I was already fussing about why this was happening today when my parents didn't have a car; mum was busy organizing her office items while dad went out to find us a ride. Fortunately, the rain stopped and began to subside around 8 a.m., leaving the road with fog, though not thick enough to obstruct visibility. Instead of the usual 20 minutes, it took about 40 minutes to get to school. I alight first from the taxi cab at the school gate, while dad waves goodbye as he continues on his way to work in the cab. Unknown to me, a black Roy Royce was approaching to park, and as I stepped out of the cab, I was splattered with water on my feet. I was enraged when two hugging muscular men exited the car with a boy. I could tell they were bodyguards for a politician or businessman's son. When he got out of the car, he snarled at me, saying, "What the fuck are you doing here?" I was perplexed when my mother later discovered she had made a snarky comment I couldn’t figure out. We wasted no time in getting clean at the school's entrance tap and was directed to the hallway for the preliminary entrance examination. At the entrance, two security personnel will stop and search to ensure that no malpractice or inappropriate objects enter the examination hall. The examination was divided into sections A and B, with section A consisting of 100 objective questions and section B consisting of two theory questions, all of which were completed in three hours. I decided to take a walk around the school after the exam because I had been told that only those who passed the preliminary entrance exam would be eligible for the main entrance exam. . It was at this point that I noticed how beautiful and fortified the school was beyond my expectations; it was adorned with various types of flowers such as roses, hibiscus, tulip buttercup, and long-standing trees. Two days later, my mother received a text message on her phone asking her to go to the school website to check the preliminary examination results. Mum checked my result but remained silent; I was anxious, worried, and anticipating, and my mind was racing with questions such as, "Did I pass?" Why has she remained deafeningly silent? How can she just call me at home and break the news to me without telling me my score, grade, or hope? I desperately need an answer. I then begin remarking myself in my imagination, marking the majority of my actions correctly and only a few incorrectly for as long as I can remember. Finally, I come to the conclusion that I will receive no less than an 85 percent. Not long after, at half pass three, she appeared with such joy on her face that her grin makes me smile as a positive sigh to justify the accuracy of my imaginative score and grade. And when she told me I passed, I screamed like a punctured inflated balloon, jumping on her and hugging her even tighter. I then asked her why she didn't tell me over the phone and just break the news; in any case, what's my score? I inquired. Then, without pronouncing, she dramatized the score with her lips, and all of a sudden, she screamed it loudly, saying 87 percent. I was overjoyed and hugged her once more. She goes on to say, "I had to branch out in the school to get study materials that will be useful for the next exam, as instructed on the school web portal." And here it is; you will begin it tonight because the next examination is in two days. Without wasting any time, I began studying, memorizing, and so on. Mum was a great source of support and encouragement as she kept checking and assisting at critical junctures. Two days later, I was dressed for the exam, and on the way to school, the taxi cab we boarded had its tyre punctured and thus deflated. Mum and I were very concerned and felt a little sympathy for the taxi driver, so we boarded another taxi cab right away. I was nervous as I got closer to the gate, checking back and forth to make sure no car or vehicle splashed water on me this time. For the main entrance exam, we were directed to a different hall. This examination was divided into written and interview sections; however, one surprising aspect of this examination was that we were few in number and that the results would be published in the school notice board that same day. We had to wait for about 2 to 3 hours. I kept assuring mum before the results were pasted because she seemed a little tense this time around, despite the fact that I spent most of the time playing a game on her cell phone. And when I was finally pasted and passed, she was overjoyed because my name was also among the first five on the admission list. She was simply too excited to wait and break the news to dad at home, so she called to inform him that I had been admitted with a 76 percent score. On Monday morning, we went on a tour of the school before proceeding to our class, which was led by our ostensible class teacher. I felt a wave of relief sweep across my nerves all over my body. I had no idea Felix, who snarled at me after being splashed with mud water on my first day of school, was in the same class. I was never bothered by this because a parent's words kept ringing in my head that I was here to study and focus. Mr. Smith, who taught with a strong sense of humor and demonstrated and illustrated where necessary, began our next 1- hour class study on full fold. I really enjoyed his teaching and skills, and I was tempted to think he couldn't have anger in his emotions because of his pleasant demeanor. The next subject was mathematics, which was also an interesting class. During the break, I was able to meet new people and walk through to the school's art and gallery room, where accomplishments and some creative work were carefully and strategically displayed. I also play on a school soccer team. My study was increasing enormously and taking a positive drift toward excellence. I also make new friends and an enemy too, Felix, who never acts as if I exist in school, let alone that we are in the same class. Felix had a friend named Elizabeth who would always tell him to stop discrimination because his dad is the richest dad among the students of the school. Elizabeth and Felix are intimate friend back home, they’ve been attending the same school right from crèche, the same age, live in the same estate with their parents’ house at close range. Felix would leave his house a zillion times to read, study, play tic-tact-toe, Mine-craft, hide & seek, Ludo, and play video games. And at another time, Dr. Idris, Felix father, planned on taking his family on a picnic, museum, relaxation center, and Barbecue, Elizabeth would accompany them to make the trip more fun fill for Felix and other way round for Elizabeth too. One day, during our excursion to the country's national zoological park, we decided to pay a visit to Felix's dad, who happens to be the Chief Executive Officer of the zoo in addition to other portfolios he holds in the country, as opined by our coordinator. I wasn't all happy because Felix was giving me a horrible look, as if I had come specifically to seek desperate familiarity with his dad. I tried everything I could to hide my feelings and blend in with. We were warmly welcomed and given preferential treatment throughout our visit and exploration; he instructed his personal assistant to give us a special ticket with his signature; in fact, he demanded that we be given free access and promised to pay our bills. Elizabeth's father was offered a full-time job at Harvard University shortly after the excursion, prompting him to relocate his family to the United States, and Elizabeth was accepted to continue her studies in no time. Back in school, Felix and I were never companions in school, and if anything can ever bring us together, it would have to be classwork or class teacher instruction. Sometimes, I wonder why he behave that with some other students too. It was later I got to know he doesn’t like students of middle or lower socioeconomic class or race. He is uncomfortable being with children from the middle and lower classes. Though I happened to be the one of the middle-class citizen parent child in Felix's class, enjoys playing games and studying with the other students, with exception of Felix. Felix would prefer to be in the opponent's team against my team. Once, Mr. Donald, the class teacher, paired the students in preparation for a dance performance practice in the school. However, he paired Felix and I together and during the performance practice, Felix tactfully got me injured. This continued till something happened to Felix a month before our promotion examination. He had an accident on his bike, leaving his arm partially fractured, and to be hospitalize for two weeks and even with family support and visits from his class teacher and friends in school to create an aura of love and belonging around him, he still felt lagging behind in his study. Upon hearing of the accident, Elizabeth was sad and sent him gift and, fortunately for her, the gifts were delivered on time to Felix. Occasionally I used to visit my aunt, who happens to be a nurse at the hospital where Felix is being treated. Felix had praised the nurses for their care, and psychological support on numerous occasions, notably Mrs. Richard, my aunt for her comforting words. "Thank you for taking me as your child," he once told her. Mrs. Richard was on duty on this particular day, and I paid her a visit as usual after school before mum come around to pick me up, but this time she decided to take me around the facility during her break though she had to persuade me to visit Felix's room, and was even surprised Felix consented to me entering his room even though I wasn't interested initially. For the rest of the day, he was gloomy, and later requested to see me, but I had already gone home. And the following day, Mrs Richard informed me that Felix wanted to meet me. I was surprised and hesitant to visit him, but she encouraged him to meet him. When Felix sees him, he tries to get out of bed, despite the pain of his bandaged arm, and then begins to plead to me, begging him to forgive him for how he had been treated me, with little or no regard for. I did manage not to tear at point even though I felt emotionally moved. I then added, "I've forgiven you despite the fact that you wronged me by portraying me as inferior," and we both hugged. Felix then requested that his brother bring him the gift Elizabeth had sent him, and he presented one of the gifts to me. This astounded me, and a new relationship blossomed between the us. Each time I paid a visit to my aunt, I would also pay a visit to Felix, supporting him with his notes, and we would read, study, and play together.

[kenzieam]

Remember Me - Chapter One

@jewels2876​​​​  @moonbeambucky​​​​  @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​​​​  @iammarylastar​​​​@captstefanbrandt​​​​  @badassbaker​​​​  @pinknerdpanda​​​​  @oliviastan17​​​​ @mizzzpink​​​​​

I know I’m forgetting people, sorry. If you want in, hit me.

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Rating: M

Warnings: Major angst, drama, sorrow, pain, suffering, language, my usual shit

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FEEDBACK IS LIFE, Y’ALL!

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Lev is newly born, her entire life up until the last mission gone. How does she navigate these new waters where she doesn’t remember anything anymore? And what to make of the heartbreaking way Bucky is always looking at her now?

***********************************************************************

My head hurts and I’m getting tired of the endless questions, but the people milling around me can’t seem to accept what I keep saying, over and fucking over.

“You don’t remember me?”

I study him, if only to give the impression that I’m trying really hard to remember but it’s all a blank, just a big fucking expanse of white. Not overly tall, tailored suit and smart-ass twist to his lips. “No.”

He glances at one of the others, a quiet, introspective guy who’s been doing most of the medical shit and only receives a shrug in return.

“C’mon Banner, what the hell is going on?” The little one asks, sounding surprisingly distressed.

Who are these people and why do they care so much if I know them?

“I told you,” the one called Banner begins, voice quiet and somehow chronically sad. “She can’t remember; going by my preliminary findings, it’s most-likely post-traumatic retrograde amnesia.”

“What? She hit her head or something?” The little guy looks around at the rest of them, hands out in exasperated query.

I consider answering, something cutting and acerbic about the blood-stained uniform I wear, the bruises and cuts and cracked bones that Banner has already splinted and given me lovely drugs for, but it seems like too much effort and really, if the suit can’t deduce that something went down out there based on how I look and feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, I’m not going to waste my breath.

A tall blond who’s holding his side gingerly answers, flicking a glance at me as if he’s read my apparently scrambled mind. Judging by the way the others pay attention to him, I’m guessing he’s one of the bosses. There’s a reassuring steadiness about him and I see why he’s the one everyone looks to for answers. “Yes, Tony. She hit her head, Kozlov had a few dirty tricks laid out that we got stuck in.”

The one called Tony shrugs, looking inexplicably pissed. “The rest of you look okay.”

That was far from true, every single one of them was bleeding or bruised somewhere, but if he was referring to the fact that no one else was sitting there unable to remember anything personal, then he was right. A petite redhead, her arm in a sling, shifted her weight, throwing a dirty glance at Tony, while a handsome black guy, one whole side of his uniform scorched and torn but the skin beneath thankfully intact, scoffed, looking ready to say something in return if not for the blond glancing warningly at him over his shoulder but my attention was on the brown-haired man hovering in the shadows.

As tall as the blond and heavily muscled, chocolate brown hair hung lank in a stunningly beautiful face, all the more striking because of his almost supernatural blue eyes but the most defining feature by far was his shiny, metal left arm. He looked like he was struggling with the urge to simultaneously destroy something in rage and collapse into tears, the dichotomy both fascinating and unsettling. Although heavily injured, at least to my eyes, he’d eschewed all attempts at help, insisting on everyone else being taken care of first. He’d spent most of the time here in this sterile room watching me, something indecipherable in his stare. He seemed to be taking this amnesia business far more personally than anyone else, eyes red-rimmed and swimming in tears, even as his fists, one metal and one flesh, clenched at his sides.

“I know,” the blond replies, sounding chagrined and I look his way once more, curious despite the pain in my head. He flicks his eyes to me, and I’m surprised at the distress there. “Lev took a hit meant for all of us.”

I did? Why? And is that my name, Lev?

The anguish in the metal-armed guy seems to overflow at the blonde’s words and he turns away, hammering his synthetic fist against the wall, the sound barely concealing his sob, but the group appears remarkably indifferent to his reaction, as if used to it; maybe he’s the emotional one of the team.

Or maybe, based on the way he’s been watching you; this news hurts him more.

Whatever, my head frickin’ hurts and I just want to lie down, we can all play twenty-questions later.

Banner seems to notice my weariness first and steps closer, freezing when I tense then seeming to accept my reaction almost sadly. “C’mon, let’s leave her alone. She needs to rest.”

“She can’t go to her quarters…” the redhead begins, looking between the one named Tony, Banner and the blond, glancing once apologetically at the brunette, who’s turned away from the wall to watch us again, but looks like he is barely holding on. A strange compulsion hits me, to leap off the exam table, rush to him and hold him close but it makes no goddamn sense, I don’t know this man, I need to go lie down, like Banner said.

“No.” Banner agrees, and he too flicks a look at the man, seemingly sorry to agree with the woman. “That won’t work… not right now…. Anyway, she needs to be monitored closely for the next day or so, I’d feel better if she stays here.”

Whatever, I can’t think about this, everything hurts too goddamn much. The darkness swirls up again and, rather than fighting it, I embrace it, faintly registering my body sway and tip over, the impact with the bed probably painful but I’m too gone to notice.

**********************************************************************************    Heavy breathing wakes me later and I slit my eyes open, trying to find the source. Whoever it is, they sound like they’re fighting tears and my heart cracks at the sound. I imagine the sound of anyone crying is something I don’t particularly want to hear, but something about this person’s anguish is particularly cutting.

It’s the brown-haired man, the one with the metal arm. He sits to my side, hunched over, face buried in his hands and massive shoulders shaking. It’s disconcerting to see someone so physically imposing and large looking so… broken but there’s some serious shit going on with this guy.

Before I can move though, shift my hand to brush his knee or anything really to help him, the blond appears at the doorway. I can barely make his features out, due to the dim lighting and my barely-opened eyes, but he’s not looking at me anyway. I close my eyes again, it’s easier.

“Buck, c’mon man.” He murmurs, stepping further into the room. “You need to lay down.”

Buck, okay; that’s his name.

“She’s gone, Steve.”

No, I’m not. I’m not dead.

“No, she’s not.”

Thank you, Steve.

“Her memory is! She can’t remember us; she doesn’t remember me.”

“Bruce hopes it’ll all come back.”

“What if it doesn’t?” There’s a horrible resignation in his deep voice, a stark question.

“Then we’ll deal with it.”

“She’s everything to me, Steve. She’s my life, you know this. If all we had is gone-”

“Stop it.” There’s an edge in Steve’s voice now, but I get the impression it’s not anger, but the same fear currently affecting Buck. “She will come out of this. You know as well as I do that Tony and Bruce won’t rest until they figure this out.”

Buck scoffs, but it’s half-hearted and I feel a calloused hand take mine. The touch is gentle, if a little desperate. It feels like he’s saying goodbye.

I hear Steve step in further, a hand slap lightly on a shoulder. “C’mon.” He says again and I hear the chair scratch as Buck stands. A moment later dry lips brush my forehead.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” Buck murmurs but then my shadows are dragging me down again and if he says anything more, I don’t hear it.

**********************************************************************************        The next days pass with painful slowness, dragging like rusty blades across my skin and, based on the faint scars I find on my inner arms and thighs, that’s something the old me used to do with heartbreaking regularity.

What sort of life did I lead, that made inflicting pain on myself acceptable?

I want to stay away from the others, but it’s made difficult by their damn persistence. I’m given some space but not nearly as much as I crave. They all mean well but being asked a hundred times if some location or activity ‘triggers anything?’ gets old. And Banner, Bruce now as I’ve learned is his first name, has a thousand and one ways to try and restart my memory.

But it all remains frustratingly blank.

I remember nothing, not one thing about my life before waking up in the quinjet, everyone hovering over me looking like I’d gone and died on them a time or two.

But apparently there’s records and I spent the first few days that Bruce insisted I stay in the medical labs working my way through them.

I was an orphan, raised in a series of group homes and shoddy orphanages, fighting for scraps. Faint memories trickle back as I read this, just flashes and hints but, based on what I’m reading, that’s a good thing. Sometimes they seem little better than nightmares.

And it explains the scars.

After slumming around in dead-end jobs for a while I, seemingly on a whim, applied to SHIELD and passed the entrance exam, a surprise given my basic background, lack of higher education and chip on my shoulder regarding authority.

Following one particularly ugly assignment, where I completely disregarded orders and then told my commanding officer to go fornicate with himself, I was offered a choice.

Leave SHIELD in disgrace, or volunteer as a guinea pig, only I wasn’t supposed to call it that, even if I was.

For what exactly I had no idea, but that didn’t seem to stop me and, after a half-dozen unsuccessful tests where I nearly got my head blown off more that once testing out experimental weapons, (an expendable resource for R&D), I was offered up to Tony and Bruce.

And what a proposition they’d had for me.

For years Stark had been working on perfecting a serum similar to what his father and Erskine had used on the blond I now knew was called Steve and, with Banner’s help, he’d achieved a version he was fairly confident in.

For whatever reason, they saw something in me (that I did not and had never seen in myself) and the multiple personality and psychiatric tests that were standard at SHIELD and felt I was worthy of the opportunity. Or maybe just perfectly expendable, with no family or close friends to speak of.

And I’d apparently had no sense because I’d agreed to let them test it on me.

If the serum had failed, as it had the few other times Stark had felt confident enough to try it on a real person, I would have probably been booted out of SHIELD entirely, left to my own flawed devices; but it hadn't and I’d become the first successful recipient of serum since Rogers himself, at least for our side. There was a section included in my reading on HYDRA and their Winter Soldier program, including a group of volunteers who’d been executed by their handlers that I skimmed over, feeling the strangest sense of discomfort.

Anyway, with that came the transference to the team, and my first exposure to The Avengers.

That was as far as I got before Bruce cleared me to leave medical, despite the near crippling headaches I was still suffering from, and I was glad for it, being awakened every few hours (usually just after I’d managed to nod off again) had gotten old fast.

The topic of my quarters was still a touchy subject apparently, because I was led to a furnished but plain set of rooms to make myself at home. Steve was the one to take me and his shoulders stiffened when I asked if this was where I had lived before.

“No,” he replies quietly, not looking directly at me.

I was getting really tired of being spoon-fed inf0rmation, at the rate everyone else had decided I could handle it and there was obviously more here than Steve was willing to tell me. “Then where did I live before? Why can’t I go back there now?”

“Lev-” Although I didn’t remember this man, the look of reluctance on his face was universal. He doesn’t want to tell me.

“Goddammit, would someone tell me the truth?” I snap, slamming my fist into the wall, only a small part of me sorry for my outburst. “Why is everyone lying to me?”

“We’re not lying!” Steve almost shouts and I get the sense that this big man rarely raised his voice like this because his face went pink and blotchy and he looked away from me. “Look, Lev. This is hard for everyone-”

I snort, because really.

“No, it’s true.” He returns, finally meeting my eyes. “We just don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“By taking me to an empty room?”

He shifts uncomfortably. “Its not a good idea for you to go to your old quarters.”

“Why not?”

He looks downright miserable now. “Because you share them with someone.” He lifts his gaze to me, beseeching me to stop asking, to not press him further.

To hell with that. “Who?”

“Lev.”

“Who?!”

“No,” he shakes his head and get the feeling he’s digging in his heels. “Bruce said it’s dangerous to overload you with information, I’ve already said too much. Don’t ask again.”

There’s such misery on his face I pause. “Was it you?”

He starts slightly, fighting to hide it. “No.”

I feel bad suddenly, pressing him like this. It’s not his fault I can’t remember anything (at least I don’t think it is) and he’s just the poor bastard that got tasked with showing me my new room. A headache flares up with sickening strength and I suddenly don’t care anymore who I shared space with. “Okay, thanks.” I reach for the knob, hoping to keep my face from betraying my pain.

“Lev-”

“I’m going to go lay down now, Rogers. Thanks.”

I close the door in his face before he can answer.

************************************************************************************ Murmured words against my throat.

Soft lips caress my pulse-point.

A soft, stroking touch.

Heat and weight as someone stretches out on top of me, the feeling welcoming and familiar.

A knee between my thighs, a shuddered exhale.

“I love you, baby.” A tender voice.

I wake to a dark room, cold and alone. There is nobody with me, no one whispering tenderly in my ear. Whoever they were, I trusted them completely, felt one hundred percent safe with them and…. Shit, loved them in return.

But who?

My brain has been too scrambled, my interactions with the team too awkward and stilted to give me any clues. Nobody so far has sparked anything in me like that, male or female; not that I’m prejudiced, but the weight on me, the timbre of the voice says it was a man I loved.

Steve says it wasn’t him, but that doesn’t really narrow it down. There’s apparently a thunder god running around out there somewhere I haven’t met in my new form, and his brother, plus a multitude of others, it’s all a jumbled maze in my head right now.

I could be standing right next to this person and not have a fucking clue, thanks to the tangled spaghetti in my brain.

It’s been a week since I was escorted to these empty rooms and I’ve rarely ventured out, preferring solitude to everyone’s well-meaning ‘help’. It’s not like I’m partying it up or anything, most of the time I sleep, exhausted and baby-weak, trying to remember my life when I’m awake, which usually just leads to more sleeping.

The others do get in unfortunately, because even though it’s exhausting and draining to talk with people, see the hope in their eyes that their words are going to somehow trigger some memory in me, it’s also strangely lonely by myself. I don’t have myself in my head anymore to keep me interested, the general background noise of a busily-humming brain. Mine is still shell-shocked, with no files to sort through for entertainment.

The dreams, or perhaps memories, continue. Not all the time, but enough to make me think they’re more than simple fantasy. The whispered words, the warmth of someone’s strong, muscular body. I’d sit down and try to figure it out if I didn’t now have the attention span of three-year old and the napping habits of a ninety-year-old.

“It’ll come back.” Bruce reassures me, but I’m not sure who he’s talking to, me or him.

“The memories,” I clarify. “Or everything?”

“Everything?”

“My… ties with people, friendships?”

Bruce shifts uncomfortably. “I don’t know. It’s still too early to tell, but with traumatic brain injury there is always the risk of permanent damage, personality changes. You being serum-enhanced just makes it a bigger question mark. Steve has never experienced something like this, and Bucky’s amnesia was an entirely different set of circumstances.”

I’ve learned since that first strange encounter with him, that his name isn’t in fact Buck, but Bucky, and both are nicknames for his real name, James; but that’s about it. The guy avoids me like the plague, and I guess that’s fair, since Bruce just said he’s experienced something the same but different, and probably doesn’t want to be reminded about it.

Once or twice, I’ve brought up Bucky to Steve, the first time in curiosity, the second to see if I imagined the first reaction. Both times his face went red and he suddenly couldn’t speak clearly, suffering from an acute case of the mumbles.

It would be telling, his reactions, if I actually remembered the man and whether he was a frequent sufferer of such things, or if my questions are hitting a particularly sore nerve.

“How’s your headaches?” Bruce continues, watching me carefully.

“You tell me, I know you’ve got that computer thing watching me all the time, what’s it called, MONDAY?”

He smiles faintly. “FRIDAY, and it’s for your own protection. You insist on being alone but if you ever suffered a seizure or was suddenly overcome with pain or-”

“I’m fine, really Banner. Don’t need a babysitter.”

“Right now, you do. Sorry Lev, I know that offends your sense of independence.”

“I have a sense of independence?”

“Yes, you were very self-reliant. That didn’t stop you from maintaining strong relationships with the team, but you preferred to nurse any wounds or injuries only in the company of a select few.”

“Them being?”

He grimaces, the same ‘oh shit’ look on his face as Rogers and we’re back into the ‘keeping Lev in the dark for her own good’ bullshit. “Lev-”

“Either tell me or leave me alone, Banner. I’m drowning in ‘what’s good for me’ around here.”

“Lev,” he looks genuinely hurt and I feel bad for a heartbeat. “We just want to help you, this is as strange and new to us as it is for you, we don’t know what will trigger memories for you, or overload you-”

“I know.” I heave a sigh because, as much as it grieves and frustrates me, I do get the sense that these people truly care about me and want what’s best for me.

“Do you feel well enough to try some exercise?”

I shrug, was that something I was into before? The toned lines of my body say yes but, as with everything, I have no memory of gym training.

“You have retrograde amnesia Lev; your personal memories are affected but not the practical ones. Your body remembers repetitive activities, you can dress and feed yourself, if you went down to the training area your body would remember your exercise routine, your muscles would take over.” He paused, weighing his next words. “No guarantees, but it might help trigger your memory as well.”

I nod absently because I’m wondering the same thing. There’s small bits and flashes that I remember now, but they only come if I’m not trying to remember. My mind needs to be blank and floating, basically concentrating on the opposite of thinking and sometimes I’ll get a little hit, some quick blip. Mostly it’s early memories so far, before I joined SHIELD or the team, but I’m starting to get a sense of the scrappy orphan I was, fighting more often than not, learning street smarts more than books.

I don’t feel like talking anymore and if the old me felt the need to exit conversations gracefully, the new one doesn’t. I stand, surprising Bruce and force a smile. “Okay, see you later?”

He recovers quickly and smiles. “Yes, Lev. Later, and I’m here anytime you need to talk, okay?”

Start actually answering my questions and I will, I think bitterly as I leave.

I find gym clothes in the bag someone packed for me, as well as a set of earbuds. Huh, maybe I’ll get more of sense of who Lev was if I listen to her music choices too.

The training area is empty when I get there, which is better than I’d hoped for. I don’t want anyone watching me right now or, even worse, trying to help.

I jab experimentally at the display on the treadmill and start walking. Bruce’s right, the practical shit is still here, I can work a treadmill, but if you asked me what my favourite colour was, I’d be lost.

Oh well, at least this gives me something to do besides sleep.

After a while, I speed up, moving into a jog. Even though I’m still stiff and sore, it feels good to move, and my body seems to remember doing it and doing it well. I catch sight of me in the mirrors and can’t help but smile. I don’t know how much is hard work and how much is the serum, but I love this body, it’s toned curves and latent strength… if only my brain would catch up.

The doors open and I look up, turning down some bass-heavy rap song that old me used to listen to and stumble on the track.

He looks as surprised to see me as I do him.

The infamous and rarely glimpsed Bucky.

He dithers at the door, clearly torn between continuing what he was doing or turning and leaving before setting his square jaw and marching inside. He nods once to me, averting his eyes and heads directly to the weights section.

I try not to stare as he gets started, putting in his own set of earbuds and grabbing a large set of dumbbells. Sweet baby Jesus, but the man is a work of art, and strong as an ox to boot.

I turn up my treadmill and music, forcing myself to look away because, damn.

But, despite myself, my eyes occasionally track back over.

Sweat darkens his tank top, his metal arm shining under the lights. His skin glows with good health and effort, each muscle cut and sharply defined. Small tendrils escape his man bun, sticking to his cheeks and the back of his neck. I can’t hear him over my music, but I imagine a very manly series of grunts as he works, straining at the weights, pushing for each rep. Maybe he swears too, the occasional gasped ‘fuck’ that wouldn’t be out of place in bed either-

Jesus. Calm the fuck down.

My fingers fly over the controls and some program flashes across the screen, something with lots of hills and valleys, whatever and, for awhile, I’m too busy trying to keep up to worry about Bucky. Then, movement nearby makes me flinch, a completely unexpected reaction.

Bucky, a few treadmills away, freezes at my response, something sad crossing his face, dimming the hope I see there, it looks like he was approaching me tentatively, perhaps to talk, and I had to go and spaz instead. I swallow, trying to think of something to say, a feat in itself since this program I chose is actually quite demanding and I’m working my ass off to keep up but, before I can think of anything, everything swirls grey and my knees give out. A loud thump hits my ears and I wonder if it’s my body bouncing off the track, but it doesn’t matter, because the comfort of oblivion has wrapped around me again and nothing else matters.

Raised voices wake me later, that and another monster of a headache. This is getting old, fast and I struggle to make sense of what’s going on around me.

“We need to tell her; she needs to know!”

“She needs to know, or you need her to know?”

It’s hazy, but I recognize the voices, Bucky and Steve, apparently arguing about something I need, or Bucky needs me to know. But then another voice weighs in, Bruce this time.

“We can’t rush her; this seizure just proves how fragile she still is.”

“No, the seizure was because someone told her she was okay to go to the gym!” Bucky snaps. “Who the fuck said that?” The way he asks it says he already knows and through slitted eyes, I see him squared off with the quiet doctor, his face a stormcloud of emotion, scary even. Steve intervenes, stepping deliberately between them. Tony appears, seemingly out of nowhere and the whole tense stand-off is dragged outside the medical lab, the doors cutting off any sound.

I can’t keep up with this shit and I let the darkness take me once more. Sleep is infinitely better right now than cryptic conversations I clearly was not meant to hear.

The next time I wake, my head is better, but my body still aches; what did I hit on the way down and I seriously consider just trying to close my eyes and go back to sleep, but there’s someone sitting beside me again.

It’s Bucky and he’s staring blankly at my hand, which is currently twined with his, tears in his eyes. He looks like sitting here beside me is absolutely killing him, or is it me? Something about me is hurting him. Does he feel bad I fell in the gym in front of him? Were we friends before all this happened?

I swallow painfully and the motion startles him back to life. He looks at me with indescribable pain in his eyes, like he’s dying to say something but can’t, maybe won’t. He’s the one I heard saying I needed to know earlier, what did he mean, what is so earth-shattering that the others seem to think I don’t need to hear yet?

His other hand reaches up and, I must still be semi-dreaming, because he strokes my forehead gently, an easy intimacy, like he has a right to my body and then he murmurs, so softly I almost don’t hear it.

“Baby.”

I jolt, but before I can get myself together enough to speak, he stands, giving me one last heartbreaking glance before leaving and I lay there for a long time in shock.

His voice; the few times I’ve heard him speak it was always in anger, arguing with Bruce or Steve or someone; I’ve never heard him tender, speaking softly and, now that I have, more questions flood into my tangled brain.

His voice is the one I hear in my dreams, the one that makes me feel safe and loved.

[wordsablaze]

help, i lost myself again

It's over and they've won but is it really winning if Kai somehow feels more lost than ever?

A/N: aka angst™ bc i love hurting my faves... title from six feet under by bilie eilish :) oh and this has major s2 spoilers !!

-

When Kai wakes up, he doesn't react as calmly as the others.

He doesn't go and ask his parents if they're real or question the existence of his house.

But that's because his parents aren't there, they're never there, and his house feels just as empty as it always did.

The doughnuts taste great though.

And then he runs into another Hollow gamer who seems not to recognise him but he doesn't really question it because why would someone so talented and famous want to talk to him anyway?

But then Mira and Adam share their thoughts and he has to admit that what they think makes sense in a really nonsensical kind of way.

So he takes them to his house and tries not to pay attention to their judgemental staring, gazing, as Davis brings them something to drink, as they notice the giant statue of himself, as they see his neighbour Kevin.

The giant chicken from his nightmares helpfully distracts him from thinking about their reactions.

But Mabel is eventually defeated because as if he's going to allow his nightmares to hurt his best friends.

And then it turns out his best friends don't in fact like each other when he'd spent most of the first hollow game thinking that they do, that they choose each other over him.

He's not sure if it's worse that they liked each other or if it's worse that they didn't , because the latter means they just didn't like him.

Maybe they aren't his best friends after all.

He certainly isn't theirs anyway.

He pointedly ignores those thoughts once he realises he really isn't dreaming and they get caught up in figuring out how to find Weirdy.

But those thoughts come right back when he asks Adam why they'd chosen him over Reeve and apparently it's just because he was available.

Available.

Not because he was good at what he did or because they liked him or because they thought he could help, but just because he was there.

It stings to hear but he doesn't argue because they have more pressing matters, like making sure the other, more valuable member of their team is okay.

And anyway, Adam jokes around with him afterwards and it's not really that bad.

(But he does stop trying to convince Adam he's cool because clearly that's a futile quest.)

It's bittersweet to see Skeet because last time, he and Reeve had all but bullied him, but it's better this time because he's far nicer - he does try and leave the second they rescue him but that's only to be expected, really.

Fighting fire with fire is ridiculous but it works out in the end, mostly thanks to Adam and his clever ideas.

Speaking of clever ideas, Skeet's idea to try and reboot is not clever and it's endlessly frustrating to try and rescue someone who doesn't want to be rescued.

(It's kind of like how his parents keep trying to rescue a marriage that's better off not rescued)

But they do it anyway, and then they find Mira, and it turns out she and Skeet have something between them, which makes his old crush on Mira kind of embarrassing.

And he convinces himself that the others let him control the wheels that turn the puzzle floors because they know he can fly, not just because he'd be the lesser loss if something went wrong.

Sliding on mucus is surprisingly fun, and there's something he never thought he'd think.

But losing a friend is significantly less fun.

Although he's not entirely sure he can call Skeet a friend but they'd shared laughs and Skeet hadn't minded his presence all that much and that's what friends are like, right?

So it definitely hurts to lose him, and he imagines Mira is devastated. He just wishes he could help.

But he can't, as usual.

It's definitely unusual, though, that the weird evil scientist decides to dress Adam and Mira up to look fancy and formal and he gets given a sailor outfit, of all things.

(Come on, he has fire powers, why would he ever be a sailor?)

But the guy has good cutlery, Kai can give him that. Although said cutlery is not so good when Reeve is trying to kill him with it.

Saving the others from their weird possessed state ruins his hair but really, it doesn't matter when he's wearing what he is.

And then they finally, finally find Weirdy.

Though not before they meet another team in which one of them has fire power, his power.

And Nisha is really good at using it.

But it's meant to be his thing.

If another player can master his power better than he can, what does he have left?

It's unfair .

What's also unfair is Adam and Reeve yelling at each other like an old married couple, exactly like another married couple he knows.

It throws him back to Easter and how arguing had ruined his chance of finding any chocolate the Easter Bunny had left for him, and he abruptly forgets where he is and what they're doing.

(Thank heavens for Davis, who had always given him chocolate before bed to try and make up for things.)

He manages to push his memories aside as they focus on trying to get Weirdy's attention but all they get for their trouble is being thrown into yet another life or death situation.

It's disheartening to know that even Weirdy, who'd been specifically programmed to help them, has given up on them.

Not to mention that Vanessa won't stop acting strange and although he'd figured out that she was only pretending to like him before, which is a whole other world of hurt he doesn't even want to address, it's unnerving to see her so quiet.

But she mostly ignores him and they end up separated from Adam and Reeve.

They end up eaten, actually.

It's a bizarre experience and not one he'd like to experience ever again. Although he'd take it over Christmas dinners any day.

And then he manages to get Vanessa to tell him why she's been so sad, and they have what he feels like is a nice conversation.

(It's rare that he can discuss video games with someone who understands what he's talking about and poor Davis had tried but hadn't quite gotten the hang of it all.)

Of course he wants to blame her but he'd already done that and it hadn't helped in the slightest so he just assures her he isn't annoyed.

And then the others get back because apparently Mira is the only one who can help things along when they're underwater.

And he wants to tell Adam how happy he is to see him but he remembers that Adam had chosen him out of necessity and he holds back.

Plus, Adam and Reeve suddenly being friendly with each other again means he's probably no longer needed anyway.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

The pixies or sprites or whatever they are make a nice break from people trying to kill them and figuring out how to make a goat is actually pretty enjoyable .

Until Weirdy ruins it by telling them they're not even real.

But they're not dead either, so he'd been slightly wrong about that.

And it turns out the other team have figured out their doomsday weapon, which is exactly what they don't need to make things better.

Stopping the other team is just as easy as his parents getting along, which is to say it's one of the most difficult things in the world.

Vanessa ends up disappearing, and that's just great because he'd thought they were getting close, becoming friends, and he'd just convinced the others to side with her.

(But it's fine because it's nothing new, it's not like he's used to retaining friends.)

And then because of course life can't be easy, they have to stall the other team, who seem to always be a step ahead of them.

He tries to be a good friend and joins Adam in attempting to force the weird pyramid open but it seems his efforts go unappreciated, surprise surprise.

Stupid motion sickness.

He can practically feel Mira's disapproval when he throws up but he can't help it, he really can't, and he'd take a dragon over a car chase anytime.

The boss battle feels wrong and they all just get thrown around for trying to confusingly help by not helping.

And he feels awful because he knows he wouldn't have been fast enough to save Iris, he'd almost cost everyone their lives.

But he's happy Vanessa is alive.

Although it seems he's too happy because by telling Vanessa what he'd figured out about the mechanical boss, the other team learns how to win.

All is almost lost, again .

Well, before Weirdy finally gets round to being amazing, helping them properly, and conjuring a portal that leads back to whatever their new life is.

It works.

It really works .

And they're still not dead.

And everything is as okay as it can be.

Except it's not, because the others have families to go back to but the game hadn't even thought to program his parents into this world so all he has is a mostly empty house.

(That's not to say he's not grateful for Davis, who is by far the best butler and friend in the world.)

But while the others are making a toast to old friends and new adventures, he can't help but feel a little lost .

Actually, make that very lost.

Because where does he fit into this new world?

Turns out you can take Kai out of the hollow but you can't take the hollow feeling out of Kai.

-

sorry for the big sad but the poor kid is traumatised enough to warrant this tbh... more of my thoughts at @kaidamplease if you’re interested :p

-

thanks for reading! masterlist

[kazarinn]

Roundup of all the things I’ve translated within the last month

Those who have been following me for a while might know that the last month saw me be very unusually prolific with translation (especially Digimon-related ones), to unprecedented extents. I'll be very honest about the fact that it's because of the current quarantine, which has left me with not a lot to do and a sense of boredom that translation somehow happens to satiate a bit ^^;; That said, the very large number of translations I'd been posting has caused things to get a bit buried, and has made things easily missable, so I've decided to make a bit of a roundup post summarizing everything I've done in the last month.

Of course, there's probably still more to come in the near future -- I have two books (the Digimon Official Super Encyclopedia and the Gakken Digimon Adventure tri. Memorial Book) hopefully coming in the mail soon, and I still have some stuff lying around I might take up if my mood warms up to it, but since I've finally cleared up a ton of the backlog I felt I should take a breather to summarize stuff. (Although, every time I say I've cleared the backlog, suddenly more interesting things pop up...^^;;)

Digimon Adventure, Adventure 02, Tamers, Frontier

Digimon Adventure 02 Drama CD "Armor Evolution to the Unknown" I will be honest in that this is actually my favorite thing to have translated in this past month. Actually, fiction translation has a higher level of difficulty for me than things like interviews -- because I want to be careful with what real people have said, I tend to be less stringent about rewording things, whereas with fiction I hold myself to a higher standard to make things flow well. But that's actually what makes it so much fun, because I can challenge myself to play with wording and broaden my horizons, and moreover Adventure 02 has a ton of characters, and it's really fun to try and make unique "voices" for all of them. That said, translating this was a bit of a wake-up call, because the sheer amount of pop culture references (to things made before I was even born, at that) and wordplay everywhere led me to the very harsh realization of why so few people have attempted to translate this drama CD into so few languages over the past two decades ^^;; I give my thanks to the anonymous Japanese commenters on Nico Nico Douga who pointed out many of the really old and obscure pop culture references, and I ended up spending several hours on Japanese Wikipedia looking up things like said old anime and British punk rock artists. I might not have gotten everything, and I'm sure there are people out there who probably would have been able to pull it off better than I did, but it ultimately became a test of my abilities as a translator, and if it's fun and entertaining and enjoyable, then that alone makes me satisfied. But I think this will be the last time (at least for a while) that I try translating something audio-only with no transcript -- my hearing is not that great, not even in English ^^;;

The Mystery of the American Box Bug A story from Adventure and Adventure 02 director Hiroyuki Kakudou that has some very tangential (at best) relation to Digimon, but is amusing nevertheless.

Digimon Adventure Character Complete File -- Future Encyclopedia Little "dialogue" snippets from an Adventure/Adventure 02-related book, checking in on the kids-turned-adults during the time of Adventure 02's epilogue. I actually translated this a long time ago, but I lost the transcript for it and I'm pretty sure (given how long ago it was) it was probably pretty embarrassing by my current standards, so I went ahead and did this over again. There are some other things in this book that are interesting and/or amusing, like further background info on the kids' family lives and room layouts, so if I have some spare time I might do some of those in the future, although naturally doing the entire book would probably be practically impossible.

Digimon Series Memorial Book: Digimon Animation Chronicle — Special interview with Hiromi Seki, Hiroyuki Kakudou, and Yukio Kaizawa An interview with some perennial Digimon staff members about Adventure through Frontier (and a bit of X-Evolution). We've had no shortage of these kinds of interviews over the years, but this one happens to summarize a lot of things that used to be considered "obscure" in the Digimon fanbase outside Japan, even though this book (and thus this interview) is one of the most prominent resources for diehard Digimon fans out there. Also, Frontier-related development info tends to be somewhat rare, so it's nice to hear about it. The Digimon Official Super Encyclopedia that I'm hoping to get my hands on soon allegedly has a similar interview with the same three people. I don't know specifics about it yet, but I'm informed that it mostly covers similar territory to this one, but also allegedly has some very fascinating details that weren't in this, so I'm looking forward to that as well.

Message from Digimon Adventure producer Hiromi Seki, to Toshiko Fujita Posted by Adventure producer Hiromi Seki to the LAST EVOLUTION Kizuna Twitter on February 8, 2019, right before the 49th day (last day of mourning, in Japanese tradition) after Taichi Yagami voice actress Toshiko Fujita's passing.

Mimi Tachikawa and Lilimon Posted by Adventure director Hiroyuki Kakudou on his blog, talking about the intent behind Mimi Tachikawa's character and her corresponding track in the drama CD Digimon Adventure: Two-and-a-Half Year Break.

Digimon Adventure tri.

On Creation and Production for “Super Evolution Stage: Digimon Adventure tri.” A post by Director Kenichi Tani about his work on the Adventure tri. stage play. Despite technically being under Adventure tri. branding, the stage play actually has surprisingly little in common with the Adventure tri. anime in terms of both content and production background, and moreover Digimon hasn't had a lot of contact with the stage medium all that much, so I thought it'd be interesting to translate something about its production, especially since this tends to be a lesser talked-about part of the franchise.

October/November 2018 Gashapon Blog interviews with Kenji Watanabe This is actually two interviews, one where Digimon franchise creator and character designer Kenji Watanabe talks about design for a Digimon gachapon set, and one where he talks about Adventure tri.'s Omegamon Merciful Mode, but I'm categorizing it under the Adventure tri. section because I figure the vast majority of readers will be reading the interview for the latter.

Digimon Adventure tri. voice actor comments (Part 1: Reunion | Part 2: Determination | Part 3: Confession | Part 4: Loss | Part 5: Coexistence | Part 6: Our Future) A series of voice actor comments that were posted to the official website prior to each Adventure tri. movie being released. I'd actually had it on the brain to try my hand at these when they were first posted, but various circumstances happened and I never got around to it, until now. In retrospect, though, I think it turned out for the better that I didn't attempt them on the spot. Adventure tri.-related interviews tend to be much more difficult to translate than most Digimon-related ones, and although there are a few reasons why, the biggest one is that, during its run, it had a very tight spoiler embargo, resulting in a lot of vague language being used, and so when you translate from a language like Japanese -- where having proper context can be life or death -- not knowing the original context behind what was being said can throw the end result into completely incorrect and misleading interpretations. While I was working on these, I did actually end up having to pull up the movies again and reference what scenes were being referred to multiple times just so I could phrase the sentence correctly, so yeah, I think it did ultimately work out. Incidentally, this is also the first direct Adventure tri. production-related thing I've translated since 2016 (mainly due to the expenses incurred by importing magazines and my difficulty with translating print media at the time). Looking back at it, I'm honestly kind of ashamed at my own inexperience from back then, but sadly, I don't have the original magazines anymore, so I can't do much to fix it, and so I'm kind of glad to have these as my sort of attempt at "redeeming myself".

Digimon Adventure tri. — Yoshimasa Hosoya interview on “To Me” Also from the official website, discussing voice actor Yoshimasa Hosoya's involvement with the ending theme song from part 3 (Confession), "To Me".

Digimon Adventure LAST EVOLUTION Kizuna

Anime! Anime! interview series (Director Tomohisa Taguchi interview | Natsuki Hanae and Chika Sakamoto interview | 02 human cast voice actor interview | 02 Digimon cast voice actor interview | Producer Yousuke Kinoshita and supervisor Hiromi Seki interview) I didn't actually know this was a series until very recently, so you'll have to forgive me for translating these out of order. Technically, all of these were posted in February to March 2020, after the movie was released in Japan, but it's pretty much spoiler-free. It's got a huge amount of development and background info behind LAST EVOLUTION Kizuna, so I recommend them as reading for anyone interested in seeing the movie.

"In regards to the new Digimon project" Otherwise known as "what happened when Hiroyuki Kakudou accidentally revealed that they were making another Digimon Adventure-related movie". Since the news that original Adventure director was recusing from LAST EVOLUTION Kizuna due to some kind of creative difference over lore ended up naturally being a hot topic, I felt like having a proper translation of his statement on the matter would be a useful thing to have. Despite technically being LAST EVOLUTION Kizuna-related, it also has a transcription of his tweets regarding Adventure/Adventure 02 background lore along with some surprising production details, so it may interest fans of the original series as well.

Digimon Continues to be Loved Thanks to its Creator’s Commitment — With Digimon Character Designer Kenji Watanabe An Asahi &M article (sort of a half-interview) with Kenji Watanabe over his involvement in LAST EVOLUTION Kizuna, which, unusually for a Digimon anime work, actually had him directly involved in production from beginning to end. I put this on the post already, but this article gets a lot dangerously closer to outright spoilers than you'd expect for this kind of material, so if you're particularly keen on going into the movie "completely clean", best to maybe avoid this one until you've seen the movie.

Digimon Adventure LAST EVOLUTION Kizuna — Website messages from Hiromi Seki and Yousuke Kinoshita It's just a short greeting message on the official website. I wanted to translate it mainly because it's not on the official English site.

Animage Plus interviews with Yousuke Kinoshita Also something I'd wanted to translate for a while but never got around to (until now). A triple set of interviews with LAST EVOLUTION Kizuna producer Yousuke Kinoshita, who also talks about Adventure's 20th anniversary and the "Memorial Story" short story collection crowdfund.

Digimon Adventure:

Interviews with Yabuno Tenya and Atsuhiro Tomioka (Part 1: V-Jump Web | Part 2: Digimon Web) A two-part interview (each part on different websites) with Digimon Adventure V-Tamer 01 artist Yabuno Tenya and Digimon Adventure: lead writer Atsuhiro Tomioka, discussing their respective works and Adventure:'s surprising relation to V-Tamer.

Digimon Adventure director Hiroyuki Kakudou’s initial comments on the Digimon Adventure: reboot A triple set of blog posts from original Digimon Adventure director Hiroyuki Kakudou about the Adventure: reboot and what relation it has to him and the original Adventure (along with some fun trivia about the latter). I figured some people out there might be curious about what the original Adventure director thought about Toei rebooting his series.

Digimon games

Explore the Secrets of Digimon World Re:Digitize Decode’s Evolution! Interview with Habu and Tomono Decode is rather inaccessible to the West right now (being unlocalized, and on the region-locked 3DS at that), so the idea of translating too many things relevant to it is pretty low-priority to me at the moment, but it's still a game of significant interest to the Digimon fanbase outside Japan, and is also notable as one of the first major titles spearheaded by Digimon game producer Kazumasa Habu, so I felt that there'd be quite a few people interested in this one.

Interview with Producer Habu of Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth: Hacker’s Memory: Highlights and Future Prospects A 4Gamer interview that I'd wanted to translate since I'd first read it, but never got around to. Incidentally, I decided to go back and make some revisions to the wording for the Famitsu interviews I translated for the original game. They were some of the first things I ever translated, and it...kind of shows. ^^;; Normally I don't like to lock myself into a habit of constantly going back and revising old work, as doing so tends to be a bit of a black hole, but since the original Cyber Sleuth is still quite the hot topic among the fanbase right now (and especially with Complete Edition being recently released), I thought it might be worth it this time.

Famitsu.com interview with Kazumasa Habu on Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth: Hacker’s Memory Another Hacker's Memory interview, a bit less detailed than the above but still fairly informative.

Other

Iwata Asks #14: Hatsune Miku and Future Stars: Project mirai Somehow this ended up the only non-Digimon thing on the list ^^;; The version of this game that eventually did make it to the West (Project Mirai DX) is so different from the original game that it meant this Iwata Asks was never officially translated, so I thought it'd be worth taking a shot at this one. I don't have any plans to translate any other Iwata Asks at the moment, mainly because it requires me to have more than a passing knowledge of how each game works for proper context, but I hope you can at least enjoy this one.

[johannstutt413]

(requested by stephenvares)

Pramanix drifted in and out of consciousness on the Doctor’s couch, doing her best not to disturb the Doctor. After all, he’d basically given her carte blanche access to his office for when she needed a break, and it would be rather rude of her to distract him...too much. Still, she sort of wished it was more comfortable-

“Having trouble?” The next time she opened her eyes, he was there. “If you’ll step off for a moment, I can help with that.”

“Was I...making too much noise?” She yawned, scratching behind her ears.

He smiled. “No, Pramanix, you weren’t. I just noticed you were coming in and out of consciousness. Here; this should be better.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Pramanix went back to reclining. “You should call me Anya when we’re meeting like this, I think.”

“Sure. Can I get you anything while I’m up?”

She yawned again. “No, no, I’ll be fine like this...Will you wake me up when you’re done for the day?”

“Yeah, I can do that.” The Doctor looked down on her with a smile, resisting the urge to scratch behind her ears. “Have a good nap.”

“Mmhmm...” And with only a couple minutes more, she’d passed out again.

-

Not long thereafter - at least from her perspective - she was awoken by a gentle scratching behind her ears and a sing-songy voice speaking to her. “Anya...Anya, it’s time to get up.”

“But I don’t wanna,” she murmured discontentedly. “The stupid council wants me to retranslate a passage to match their agenda...if I don’t wake up, I don’t have to do it.”

“No one will force you to do it, Anya; if they try to make you, RI will have your back. Still, you told me to wake you up when I was going to leave, so...”

Anya opened her eyes, realizing it was the Doctor treating her so softly. “I didn’t realize it was you...Your voice was so kind, and your hand is so soft...”

“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not,” he sighed. “Would you like me to walk you back to your room?”

“I would appreciate that.” She took a proffered hand and stood up, hanging onto it as they left the office.

About halfway through their walk, the Doctor tapped the back of her hand with a finger. “You haven’t let go of my hand, Anya.”

“I knew that,” she blushed, immediately letting go. “My hand was cold, and you were keeping it warm.”

“Well, then there’s no need to let go, is there?” He took hold of her hand again, flashing her a wise-ass grin as he did.

Anya thought for a moment about asking him to let go, but...well, her hand was cold, and he was so warm and inviting. Still, she couldn’t give in so easily - her pride demanded more than just a few little gestures to appease. “I suppose you’re right. Oh, Spirits preserve me, I just realized I haven’t eaten since my coffee this morning, and I slept through when I was going to do my shopping...”

“I can order something for us,” the Doctor offered, “unless you’d rather come back to my place and let me make you something.”

“...Those are both rather tempting offers. What can you cook?”

He shrugged. “Whatever it is you’d like from my fridge.”

“A home-cooked meal definitely sounds better than delivery.” Anya squeezed his hand. “I never realized just how kind you could be, Doctor. Maybe I should have sooner.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” They’d passed where they would’ve turned for her room and were now on their way to his - a surprisingly short walk, in all honesty.

She blushed. “Nothing, no reason.”

“Alright, then,” the Doctor smirked. “Keep your secrets.”

“I’ll always have to, unfortunately...unless- never mind. That’s a while away from now.”

He chuckled. “I never would have taken you for the mysterious sort.”

“I’m not trying to be mysterious,” she asserted, “I’m just thinking out loud...Usually, there isn’t someone there to listen to me like this.”

“Aren’t you the highest religious authority of Kjerag?”

Anya nodded. “I am, but I’ve off-loaded a good deal of the work to advisors and such whom I trust enough to not directly screw it all up. Still, there’s my translation duties, the issues my advisers refuse to take care of, problems that emerge where their plans interfere with one another, and the bloody politics of it all-”

“So how the hell do you not have someone beside you at all times?” The Doctor shook his head. “I know I don’t have an assistant, but that’s because I can handle all the work myself; every time you’ve come to my office, on the other hand, you seem like you’re about to pass out from the strain of it all.”

“Well, where am I going to get an assistant from Kjerag around here?” She asked.

He had to concede that point. “Fair...What about someone who wasn’t from Kjerag but would always keep your best interest in mind?”

“What’s in my best interest isn’t always what’s best for Kjerag, Doctor.” Anya thought about that for a moment. “Unless you mean they’d stop me from doing too much work and finish off what I couldn’t?”

“Closer to that, yeah. I can think of someone with some extra time on their hands.”

She pumped the air with her free hand. “Yes! So who is it?”

“Well...” The Doctor took a moment. “That’d be me.”

“You? But you have a company to run!”

He shook his head. “I just do HR, Personnel, and Tactical Deployment. Nothing I can’t do while helping you.”

“...You’re too good to be real, Doctor.” She smiled. “And yet, here you are.”

“That’s high praise right there. Oh, we’re here. That was quicker than I’d thought it’d be.” He clicked open the door, walked inside, and immediately went to his fridge. 

Pramanix, following behind, closed the door behind her, slipped her boots off at the door, and wandered over to his couch. “I’m not sure what I expected, but you don’t have a lot of furniture here.”

“Don’t need much,” he called from in front of a cutting board, cubing potatoes. “I have room for guests, I have a bed, and I have a TV.”

“This couch is a lot softer than the one in your office.” She had settled in rather nicely, her head against one of the couch’s arms and her feet a comfortable distance from the opposite end.

The Doctor chuckled. “I switched them with Matterhorn’s help a couple weeks back. Mostly because the office has room for the futon part to work. You can take another nap if you feel like; dinner might take a little bit.”

“Oh?” Anya popped her head up to see into the kitchen through a little window in the wall. “What’re you making?”

“I realized I had a pie crust for some reason, so chicken pot pie, if that sounds alright.”

She thought about it for a moment. “What’s in the chicken pot?”

“Um...” He had to stop himself from laughing and sending potato chunks across his kitchen. “Chicken chunks, potatoes, some frozen veggies I have, and chicken stock.”

“Okay, I have had them before, then, just called something else. Sounds great to me!”

The Doctor shook his head, a smile locked onto his face. Why hadn’t he realized how fun she was to be around before? Even arguing with her was entertaining, at least getting to see her ears twitch when really dug in on an issue. “So, if I’m going to be your assistant, you should probably tell me some things I can do to make your life easier.”

“Do I really need to?” Anya asked, mildly incredulous. “You seem to pick up on that sort of thing pretty easily.”

“I don’t know about-" Three seconds of time spent thinking about it, and he realized he had, in fact, picked up on all of her needs as they came up quite easily.

She giggled, a sound close to no one had heard from her since she’d become Saintess. “For seeing through me so easily, you can be a little thick.”

“Not as thick as your tail,” he retorted...and for a minute or so, the Doctor didn’t hear a reply. “Did I strike a nerve?”

“I didn’t realize you paid attention to that sort of thing.” The room was quickly heating up, from her perspective; she loosened her belt and tossed her cape on the back of the couch.

That sort of thing? What did that mean? “I mean, you use it as a pillow when you’re taking naps, so it has to be pretty well-cushioned.”

“I-I guess you’re not wrong.” Nope, still too warm...but she didn’t have another layer to shed at this point. “Could you turn the AC up?”

“Sure, I guess- oh! Sorry about all that, I didn’t realize how that might be taken.”

Anya shook her head with a sigh. “It’s just a...sensitive issue for me. Some days I wish it was thinner, like Ensia’s - Cliffheart’s, I mean.”

“The grass is always greener on the other side,” the Doctor replied after setting the temperature to a cooler one. “Beside, the two of you are very different, both personality and duty-wise, so it makes sense for you to have the fluffier tail.”

“Because I’m lazy?” She muttered to herself.

It was a good thing the pie was in a place he could leave it to its own devices; he left the kitchen and sat on the couch by her feet, putting a hand on her shin. “No, Anya, not because you’re lazy. I’d never call you of all people lazy.”

“Why not?” She retracted her feet closer to herself, her tail falling off the couch in a waterfall of fluff. “You’ve seen how often I come into your office for a nap.”

“Only after you do a whole day’s work for someone with less responsibility, and then a good hour or two extra, before nearly collapsing from exhaustion. Anya, you work harder than most of Rhodes Island - certainly harder than me - and with as much on your plate as you have, calling you lazy is just...well, it’s plain bullshit.”

Anya let the final curse stick in the air for a moment before smiling. “You know, most people never curse around me. They think I’ll tell them off for it. Me! Telling someone off for saying how they really feel...I guess I can sort of see it, but it still feels so wrong to imagine. Doctor, you’re just about the only person here who understands me this well, I think.”

“I guess so,” he nodded, connecting the dots. “The fact that so many other people would just leave you to thanklessly toil away like you have been - it’s either misinterpretation or intentional mistreatment, and I don’t think RI is that cruel an organization.”

“So, if you say it’s a good thing my tail is fluffy, it must be.”

The Doctor smirked. “I think you’re wonderful exactly the way you are, yes.”

“The pie’s baking now, right?” A nod in response. ‘So, Doctor...would you, um...“ She was staring at him, blushing like mad, trying to say what she was thinking without sounding too much like the ivory-tower child she was- DING!

“Huh. Pie’s already done. Weird.” He went to take it out, and Anya had lost her moment.

Dinner was a tad awkward at that point - she was still hungry, of course, but she didn’t want to seem like a glutton, and the Doctor didn’t have a large appetite even at the worst of times, so between the two of them, eating a third of the entire pie took three-fourths of an hour. Eating alone at a table with someone you enjoy the company of but don’t have much to talk about with is never an easy thing, and suddenly, a shadow was cast on the evening as a whole. All that momentum, squandered by a bell ringing...it made a strange sort of sense to Pramanix, in a cosmic humor sort of sense. When they were done eating, and the Doctor was putting away the food, she stood up from the table and went to grab her cape. “I suppose I should get going, now that I’ve eaten...”

“Hmm?” He looked back at her, fridge still open. “You wouldn’t like dessert?”

“Dessert?”

The Doctor closed the fridge door, opened a cabinet next to it, and pulled out two boxes of cookies. And not just any cookies - an absolute favorite of hers. “A box for you, a box for me, space on the couch, you control the TV?”

“Space?” She blinked. “The rest sounds great, but why would we need space between us?”

“I...I dunno. I mean, I thought we were both sending off signals, but I wanted to play it safe just in case I was wrong?”

Anya smacked her forehead with her hand. “Well, at least we both got the right message. Couch?”

“Couch.” As they sat down, Pramanix snuggling close once he’d found his spot, the Doctor had a sudden urge and needed to get her permission first. “Hey, Anya? I left my jacket on my chair...could we share your tail?”

“Now I know you’re psychic or something,” she insisted as her tail rested over both of them.

He would have objected...but why bother? All other thought was thoroughly smothered in fluff and softness.

[ladyseaheart1668]

Endless Summer Book 4 : Daughter of Vaanu (Chapter 50)

Description: Tahira awakens! And she has a plan. 

Tagging: @endlesshero1122 @mysteli @feartheendlesssummer @whatmcsaid @xo-endlessmayhem-xo @tigerbryn11

Chapter 50: Between the Cracks

Tahira

I can't breathe...I can't breathe! I push against the Endless' grip, trying to reach the surface, but she only holds me tighter.

“It's all right, Tahira. It's all right. Just watch.”

The images are still coming. Quinn Kelly, motionless on a bed her hands folded in a funereal pose atop a large, shining stone. She turns into Alodia, clutching the Prism Crystal, but she's no longer lying in repose. Her face is twisted with fury, her eyes gleaming fuschia with the Crystal's power as she attacks an unseen opponent. I can't breathe. I want to get out. Someone get me out of here! I flail, pounding the Endless' arms feebly with my fists. I can't perceive the images anymore. There's only a vague itch at the edge of my mind, telling me that I know something that I didn't know before.

“Tahira...?” I don't recognize the voice at first, but everything around me is fading. The images. The Endless. The ocean. Then, as I finally draw in a desperate breath, I feel something warm and soft on my cheek. “Tahira, baby, can you hear me?”

“...Mom...?” I realize that I have my eyes closed. I open them carefully, squinting against a sudden assault of florescent light. A figure, blurry but definitely my mother, hovers over me. I hear her choke on a sob as she strokes and kisses my face.

“Oh, baby, thank God!”

I become aware of a pressure on my hand, and turn to see Grayson perched on the edge of my bed, holding my hand. His clothes and hair are rumpled, and there's a layer of fuzz on his face like he hasn't shaved in a day or two.

“Do you remember what happened?” he asks anxiously.

“Got stabbed,” I mumble. My mind feels surprisingly clear, but it's taking my body a bit to catch up, I think, because my tongue feels heavy.

“Yeah. The surgery went well, but you took awhile to wake up afterwards. You had us worried. How are you feeling now?”

“Fine,” I answer without really taking stock. As soon as I say it, I realize that my side still feels like it's on fire. But I feel fairly confident I'll heal quickly now that I'm awake. “...Alodia...she was abducted...”

Mom and Grayson exchange a look of mild surprise.

“...Yeah...” Grayson confirms. “And Diego. How did...?”

“Crystal stuff. I'll explain later. ...I gotta talk to the Catalysts. I think I might have an idea about finding her.”

* * *

“You want to...use the Prism Crystal to find Alodia?”

It feels risky to be on a video call with all the Catalysts plus my team while I'm still in my hospital room, but I've got Grayson standing guard, ready to signal me if any staff get too close.

“Hear me out here. Quinn, when you were...possessed by Vaanu, you could feel the Island's Heart, right? You could feel where it was?”

“Vaguely,” Quinn confirms. “I could feel it pulling me toward the other half.”

“And there were other instances of the crystals leading you places, right?”

“Quarr'tel,” Jake says, nodding. “They slipped a crystal into Raj's pocket and it lit up like a firefly when we were headed in the right direction.”

“And when we had three of them staked together, they literally just showed us the path when we looked through them.”

“The Prism Crystal is specifically Alodia's life essence. But it didn't react until I came in contact with it as her blood relative. Maybe that connection will help me use it to track her.”

“I believe your idea could work in theory,” Varyyn says cautiously. “...I would be extremely hopeful, if not for the fact that her abductors have managed to block her psychic link with me. Suppose they have figured out a way to block any link with her that the Prism Crystal might give to you? What if that was a function of the poison you were dosed with?”

“It might well be,” I admit. “But what do we have to lose by trying?”

“Nothing,” Jake says. “If anything, we'd be failing Alodia and Diego by not trying. If there's even a chance it could get them back sooner...”

“I'm not disagreeing with you, Jake,” Dax chimes in, “But there are a few logistical problems to consider. For one thing, Tahira, you're still in the hospital with an abdomen full of stitches. Even with your enhanced healing, it's going to be a process. You won't do anyone any good if you tear out your stitches and bleed out searching for Alodia and Diego. Two, this isn't La Huerta, where you guys were on your own with only Vaanti authority to deal with. If this works, how do we explain it? How do we explain Dragonness disappearing after these two people she presumably has no connection to, and how do we explain how she found them without giving away too much?”

I wave a hand impatiently. “We'll chalk it up to a mystery of the Prism Crystal and assure the public that we're looking into why the Crystal led me to these people. The public have been remarkably accepting of the idea that the Prism Crystal turned people into superheroes.”

“But why Alodia and Diego in particular? Why not any of the other thousands of missing persons in the US? Why would the Prism Crystal choose two people who went missing in California when it's on the East Coast?”

“You're overthinking this,” Jake says. “Look, my sister's a cop. People go missing every day, and most of them don't get half the attention Alodia and Diego have gotten. The only reason they're getting as much media attention as they are is because they were on the La Huerta trip, and the fact that Alodia's pregnant makes people more sympathetic. Once they're safe home, the media and the cops ain't gonna care too much about how they got there.”

“I can't say that I completely agree,” Poppy says. “I know I'm only a fashion journalist, but that doesn't mean I don't know how the media works. Alodia and Diego are still high-profile people, and there are high-profile people involved in their kidnapping. Dax is right. If this does work like we want it to, we do need to consider how we're going to spin it so that the attention doesn't go anywhere we don't want it to.”

“Let's not get too far ahead of the game,” Michelle cautions. “Dax is also right that Tahira needs a little time to recover before she's fit to go chasing anyone down.”

“Simple solution to that,” Jake declares. “If she gets a lead off the Prism Crystal, I'm going with her.”

I try not to grimace outwardly. I should have seen this coming. “Jake...you know I'll be faster on my own. Considering that I can fly without a plane.”

“Not while you've still got a hole in your gut. If this is gonna work, we don't have a lot of time for you to be on bed-rest here. We got a small window, and it's closing fast.”

Michelle nods. “Jake is right. Whether we find her or the authorities do, we really don't have time to just wait if we're going to take any action. She's due in a matter of weeks, and we can't assume she won't go into labor early. At the same time, Tahira, you can't just go on your own in your present condition. Apart from the stab wound, we don't know if that poison is fully out of your system. So, I'll come too.”

“Can the hospital spare you?”

“I've still technically got a week and change of vacation I haven't used, and I haven't officially put myself back on the schedule yet.”

“Well, you know I'm not letting you go without me,” Sean says firmly, taking his wife's hand. “I can't. Not just now.”

“I expected as much, and I won't argue.”

“I will go as well,” Varyyn declares. “Not least because my partner is among the missing, but also because if Alodia or I somehow managed to break through the barrier they've put on our psychic link, it would not do for me to be miles away.”  

I sigh. This is kinda turning into a plan for the world's most batcrap-crazy road trip, but I honestly can't say that I mind. In fact, I feel a wry smile tugging at my mouth. “...Anyone else want to join in?”

“You know Kenji and I are at your disposal,” Eva says, winking. But I shake my head at that suggestion.

“No, not you two. Someone needs to stay to protect Northbridge. We can't just leave DA Katsaros completely high and dry and expect to stay on her good side, especially given the situation with Caleb and the kids.”

“I'll come instead,” Estela says. “In case you need another fighter.”

“I'm rather handy with a fencing sword,” Aleister offers a bit reluctantly. But his sister shakes her head.

“Stay with your wife and son. There will be enough lonely doves among the Catalysts as is, and you and Zahra need to look after the company and field any questions from the authorities.”

“Besides that, we should keep our numbers as small as possible,” I point out. “Even if I can't go on my own, we will go faster the fewer we are.”

“In the meantime, what should the rest of us be doing?” Raj asks. “I mean, I'm good to stay in California if that's where I'm most needed...”

“We'd appreciate that,” Jake agrees. “Keep looking after our folks for us. I'll see if I can send Rebecca back with our parents, but it's possible they won't be willing to leave me alone unless I bring her with me.”

“Well...I guess we're mostly settled then. We can work out the necessary details once I'm discharged.”

“That's assuming this really works...” Aleister says soberly. “We've begun speaking of it as a certainty...”

For a moment, no one says anything. I hear myself speak first. “We'll know that as soon as I'm discharged, too.”

Jake

I'm not surprised when my parents are reluctant to let me go to Northbridge without them. I'm an adult, they say, and they can't stop me, but they do their best to discourage it. I don't hold it against them. I've disappeared on them too many times for them not to be nervous, even after I promise to check in with them. As I predicted, it's Rebecca's promise to go with me and keep an eye on me that finally convinces them to go back to California and look after Alodia's parents. I vow to go back there myself if Tahira's idea with the Crystal doesn't pan out, though of course I don't say that to my parents. I need them to think my visit to Northbridge is open-ended.

The meager bags Mike and I packed for what we expected to be a night or two away from home were retrieved from the motel we were staying at the night before our abduction. By now, I've been discharged and Mike's finally in recovery after surgery, so I bring him his bag as an excuse to visit before I take off. I wouldn't normally think I needed an excuse to visit, but the hospital staff are still hovering like flies, and the pretense of dropping off the bag gets me access to his parents, who manage to finagle a few minutes for Mike and me to talk privately.

He turns his head toward me as I slip into the room and smiles wanly. He looks pale and exhausted, and he's still got an IV in the crook of his arm, but he's awake and propped up on his pillows. Still, the sheet below his thighs is flat over the mattress. I pull up a chair beside him.

“How're you feeling, kid?”

“...You know those old clothes press things that they used to feed clothes through after they were washed to get all the water out? In the olden days before washers and dryers?”

“I think I know what you mean. I think they were called 'mangles'.”

“Appropriate name. Anyway, I feel like I've gone through one of those.”

I cover his hand with mine and nod down at the flat sheet beneath his thighs. “No new legs yet?”

“Apparently they gotta let the nerves heal or something first. I dunno. They got some metal things on the stumps to keep 'em fresh or whatever. The science blinded me a little. All I really know is they hurt like a bitch.”

“Fuck.” I squeeze his hand. “Sure feels like a shit time for me to be taking off...”

“Where are you heading?”

“Northbridge. ...It's not looking like Alodia and Diego were on the island. But Tahira has an idea to track Alodia using the Prism Crystal. Hopefully it works, and hopefully where we find Alodia, we find Diego.”

“No question you gotta go, then. Not like you'd be doing much good bumming around the hospital with me.”

“Probably not. ...Don't know how much good I'll be doing following Tahira around, either. But if there's even a chance of finding her...”

“You don't have to explain. We both know where you're most needed right now.” He turns his hand over to grip mine, his eyes finding my gaze and holding it. “Find your wife. Bring her home.”

* * *

Rebecca, Varyyn, and I get a private flight to Northbridge, compliments of Aleister and Estela, of course. I'm glad not to be in the pilot's chair on this one. I'm probably still not totally clear to operate heavy machinery after that blow to the head, and I'm not sure I could concentrate, even if I were. Problem is that I can't really sit still, either. I know I shouldn't be wandering more than necessary while the plane's in the air, but I feel like I'm gonna lose my shit if I try to stay seated too long. Predictably, Varyyn is perfectly still—almost stoic. Though I know him better than to assume he's not just as much of a hot mess as I am right now.

“...How're you holding up, Varyyn?” I ask, as much to distract myself as to check in.

“As well as you, I expect,” he sighs. “...I am afraid. I am afraid this will not work. I am afraid of what they might be suffering right now. ...I am afraid that if this does work, we will find Alodia alone and have nothing left to lead us to Diego.”

I grit my teeth, shaking my head hard. “Won't be like that, Varyyn. Don't think like that. They're together. They gotta be together.”

“...We don't know that,” he says softly. “We hope it. But do we really have any evidence that it is true?”

“Why else would they have taken Diego?” I demand. “They weren't together at the time of the abduction, so it wasn't just convenience like with Sean and Michelle. No offense to Diego, but I don't think Rourke really has much use for him in this timeline. He probably doesn't have much use for any of the Catalysts besides Alodia anymore, except to control her. And maybe Diego is useful if he wanted to bait you for some reason, but even then, wouldn't it still make more sense to keep them together, since you could track her if they hadn't blocked it somehow...”

“...It all makes sense...” he admits. “...I just...I can't help but fear...”

I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face. “Of course not. I won't lie, it scares me, too. ...But it makes more sense that they're together. Remember that.”

He nods. “...I feel powerless. I should be able to reach them. I should at least be able to speak to her and confirm that they are unharmed...”

“We all feel powerless here,” Rebecca says. “I'm a detective. I should be able to track and investigate. But because it's a member of my own family, I'm not allowed to help...” She trails off, and the silence that follows is heavy. I think we all want to try and say something comforting or optimistic here, but there's not really anything to say that we haven't already said. We all feel powerless. There's a chance that when we get to Northbridge, we'll have our path made clear for us, but there aren't any guarantees. If this doesn't work...what next?

Grayson

“Are you sure you're up for this, Tahira? You only got out of the hospital yesterday...”

Tahira grits her teeth as she carefully makes her way to her dresser, using crutches to support most of her weight and to keep her stitches from tearing. She's healing fast. Fast enough that eyebrows were raised at the hospital. But not fast enough to have her in fighting shape yet, and she's clearly still in pain. Michelle has cautioned her against heavy lifting, even with her super strength. The only way we were able to confirm that her strength was still intact was by having her bend an iron bar that Dax brought over from the lab. Flying, too, is out right now, though she is still capable of it.

“If this works,” Michelle said last night, “You're basically going to be our tracker, at least for a few days. Let the rest of us do most of the work until I give you the all-clear.”

I cautiously place my hand between her shoulderblades and let my palm move in slow, gentle circles. When she doesn't pull away, I increase the pressure just a little.

“When a person goes missing, the first twenty-four hours are the most crucial,” she says lowly. “...That window has already closed. There's no more time to waste. What we have is already borrowed.”

She pulls out a T-shirt and a pair of jeans from her drawer, and maneuvers herself to take off her pajama top. I sigh.

“Here, let me help you with that. I can't really help with the rescue mission, but I can help you get dressed for it.”

“I think providing us with travel vehicles is extremely helpful,” she says, smiling a little as she carefully raises her arms over her head to let me take her shirt off. I help her on with her clothes, finishing just as the buzzer to her apartment door sounds.

“Tahira? It's Eva and Kenji!” I go to let them in as Tahira settles herself down on the couch. Kenji grins at her as they walk in.

“How's our fearless leader doing? You look like you'll be ready to kick ass again in no time.”

“With any luck, I will at least be ready to do my part when we finally track down Alodia and Diego. Do you have the Crystal, Eva?”

“Haven't let it outta my sight since Caleb tipped us off it they were going after it,” she replies with a mischievous smile, trailing a finger over the chain around her neck. My eyes follow her finger down to where her low-cut top clearly reveals that the pendant on the end is nestled between her breasts. Tahira makes a face as Eva draws the Prism Crystal out of her cleavage.

“That cannot be comfortable...”

Eva shrugs. “You get used to it. Besides....” She grins, waggling her eyebrows. “No way anyone gets to it without me noticing.”

“Yeah, but have you been, like, showering with it in there? Sleeping?”

“Not like water will hurt it. And like I said, you get used to it.”

Tahira rolls her eyes, smirking a little. “Still...maybe I should ask you to wipe off the boob sweat before I try to do anything with it.”

“Tahira, I'm insulted. The very suggestion that I would ever break a sweat...” But she does grab a washcloth out of the basket of clean laundry beside the dresser and rub it over the crystal before handing it to Tahira. “So...what are you going to do with it exactly?”

“I'll start with holding it. Then...I guess I'll think about Alodia...” She shakes her head with a frustrated sigh. “...I'm flying mostly blind here...”

As she closes her hand around the Crystal, we fall silent, not wanting to risk disrupting her concentration. How long will it take, I wonder, before we know if anything is going to happen? I don't have to wonder long. In fact, the thought is barely out of my head before the crystal begins to glow brighter. I hold my breath. For a moment, everything is still except for the bright purple flame dancing beneath the Crystal's surface. Then Tahira's eyes fly open and she gasps softly. I instinctively rush to her side.

“Are you all right? What happened?”

“I'm okay...” she replies dazedly. “...I...think...”

“Did you see anything?” Eva asks. “Do you know where Alodia is?”

“Not exactly, but...” She looks down at the Crystal balanced on her palm, softly pulsing with fuschia light. “I did see her. In flashes. And...I think...”

She stands up and turns a slow circle, keeping her eye on the Crystal. I watch it carefully. It takes a few more circles before I realize what's actually happening, but when I do notice, I feel my heart skip a beat.

“Tahira! The light!”

“Yes!” Tahira cries eagerly, a grin splitting her face! “It dims, except when I start facing this direction! ...What direction am I facing?”

“Northwest-ish,” Kenji says. “Which probably means she isn't on the island...”

Tahira nods. “...If she's even what the Crystal is pointing toward. ...Either way, it's our best lead so far.

* * *

A few more little experiments prove that using the Crystal as a tracking device is a viable option. Although it goes dull when I touch it, Kenji and Eva can both make it react—as can Varyyn and any Catalysts who come in contact with it. And the pulsing light consistently gleams when the one holding it is facing northwest, dimming as they turn south. As soon as is humanly possible, Tahira and her team gather with me and a handful of the Catalysts in the empty executive level of the Prescott Industries parking garage. Two seven-seater SUVs that I rented are the only two vehicles in the place.

“They're both fueled up,” I assure Tahira. “Tire pressure has been checked and there are spares, jacks, and tire irons under the floors.”

“There are also pillows and blankets so you can sleep and drive in shifts and not have to stop as often,” Dax says. “I've also fitted the cars with adaptable communicators so you can communicate through the radios, just in case everyone's cell phones die at the same time. Do you know who's going to be in what car?”

“I'll be with Sean, Tahira, and Jake,” Michelle says. “Since Tahira and Jake aren't cleared to drive just yet, Sean will take the first shift, and Tahira will hold the Crystal to navigate.”

“And Varyyn, Rebecca, and I will follow in the vehicle behind,” Estela adds.

Michelle nods. “I've also got a medical tote stocked. No one mess with that, please. It's not your standard first aid kit. I've also got some sterile towels and blankets double-wrapped in plastic, so hands off those, too. If we find Alodia close to giving birth, we'll need clean towels to lay down for her and something to wrap the baby in.”

“There are also coolers of water, fruit, sandwiches, and about twenty pounds of trail mix,” Quinn adds. “It's not Raj's cooking, and it obviously won't last, but it should mean you don't have to stop for food for a handful of days.”

“I guess we're all set then,” Tahira says. “There's no time to lose. Everyone pile in.”

“Wait...” I catch her hand as she turns toward the car, and pull her in for a kiss, holding her mouth with mine as if I can store up enough of her taste on my lips to tide me over until she gets back. I break away reluctantly and press my forehead to hers. “Good luck. I love you.”

Eva

Kenji and I meet at his apartment that evening. We don't exactly feel safe going back to the clocktower right now, but we don't have a new base of operations yet, either.

“...How much does Caleb actually know now?” I ask him over a cup of heavily-sugared coffee.

“Almost everything. He knows our powers are connected to our DNA, which is connected to the island of La Huerta and a crystal alien that crash-landed here however many billion years ago. He knows that Alodia is that alien's daughter and that Tahira is Alodia's cousin. ...I also basically confirmed that most of what Rourke told him in those interviews is true.”

“And...where is he now?”

Kenji shrugs, talking a long swallow from his coffee mug. “Processing, I guess. He says he can't go back to Gigi anymore. And based on the way their last encounter went, I'm not surprised.”

“And you don't have any reason to think it might be a trick?”

“Just doesn't add up to a trick,” he admits. “He told me he'd originally told Gigi he was going to try to get in good with us to get information out of us, which I know was true. ...But if he was never actually going to turn on her, he probably would have done something to keep us from securing the Prism Crystal once he realized we knew she was going after it. Plus, she was angry enough to try and frame him for burning down the priest's house.”

“...He's out of the hospital, by the way. Don't know where he's living with his house burned out, though.”

“No sign of the kids, either. ...Maybe he's gone after them.”

“Quite honestly, I hope he has. Scoundrel he may be, but I think his intentions towards the kids are good. At least good enough that I'd rather they have him in their corner than be wandering around out there alone. Especially given what's going on now.”

Kenji smiles wryly. “They will have to come back eventually, won't they? Since you still have their dog.”

I snort. “Good luck making me give up that puppy. I think we've bonded.”

“You'll give her up the moment one of those sweet little kids flashes sad doe eyes at you.”

“...Yeah, probably,” I admit. “My cold heart has been defrosting lately. Maybe proof that there's hope for Caleb.”

“There had better be. ...Because if we can't actually trust him, we might be screwed.”

Estela

I am in the office with Aleister and Zahra when the phone on the desk rings. It just barely registers at first, like an acquaintance I give a nod to as I pass on the street. Aleister picks it up.

“Aleister Rourke speaking,” he mutters absently. Then his posture changes. I take notice as he sits up a little straighter. “Raj, hello. Has there been any news.”

My heart wedges in my throat as I sit up to attention. Zahra visibly stiffens as well, her eyebrows knitting as she meets my gaze with anxiety flickering in her dark eyes. Aleister's eyes widen.

“What? Are they sure it's the same one?...” His shoulders sag slightly as he listens to Raj's extended reply. “...Dammit. Does Jake know? ...What are they planning to do?”

There's a longer pause now. Aleister's expression is difficult to read. Zahra stands up from her desk, then awkwardly hovers there as if she's not sure she should come closer.

“...I expect that is the wisest course of action. If the Crystal can track Alodia directly, it would be a waste of time to chase down a lead like that. ...I see. ...Of course. I'll make sure everyone is updated. Thank you. ...I will. ...Goodbye.” He replaces the receiver on the cradle and looks up at me and Zahra in turn. “...That was Raj. The police believe they have found the stolen ambulance that Alodia and Diego were transported in, but it has since been abandoned. They were able to determine that a helicopter took off nearby and they believe Alodia and Diego were on board, but from there, they're having difficulty picking up the trail.”

Zahra and I exchange anxious glances. “...Where was the ambulance found?”

“Cascade mountain range in Oregon. Near Crater Lake.”

“Oregon!” Zahra gasps. “They drove a stolen ambulance from southern California to the Cascade mountains in Oregon and no one noticed until now?!”

“Raj tells me the region around Crater Lake is fairly remote.”

“Maybe, but...” Zahra is already tapping furiously on her phone. After a moment, she turns the screen toward us. “Look, the fastest path to Crater Lake from Riverside is about a twelve-hour drive, straight up through California.”

“They were driving an ambulance,” I point out. “If they had the lights and sirens going, they would have been able to speed and run red lights with impunity. Few people are going to want to impede an ambulance that they think is on the way to save someone's life. Even with the authorities knowing they were likely in a stolen ambulance, I can believe they got as far as Oregon without anyone wanting to risk stopping them. Especially if they swapped the license plate.”

“They still would have needed to stop for gas at some point. And twelve hours trapped in a vehicle can't be good for a pregnant woman. We're still operating under the assumption that Rourke wants Alodia and her baby alive, right?”

“It makes the most sense,” Aleister confirms. “If he just wanted her dead, there are easier ways than kidnapping.”

“What else do we actually know? They found the stolen ambulance, but are they sure Alodia and Diego were inside?”

“They found more than a few hairs inside the vehicle. They matched DNA samples from both Alodia and Diego.”

I nod. “...From what I overheard, I'm guessing Jake and the others aren't going to try to find them in Oregon.”

He shakes his head. “It would be a waste of time, driving some place they have already been removed from when they believe the Prism Crystal can lead them to where Alodia is currently.”

“Why Oregon, though? Why not the island? Why was the Crystal leading them northwest instead of toward the island?”

“...I don't know, Estela. The truth is that we don't know for sure that they don't mean for her to eventually wind up on the island. Maybe the plan is to throw us off the trail.”

I sit back with a frustrated sigh. “...It always feels like our dear father is ten steps ahead of us. The only person who has ever really managed to get the better of him was Alodia when she chose to sacrifice herself for the world.”

“Not entirely true,” Zahra mutters. “...I shot him in at least one timeline.”

“He is a genius and a master manipulator, but he is still human,” Aleister says firmly. “And humans are flawed enough to be outsmarted. Sooner or later, he will make a mistake. I am sure of it.”

Alodia

Something doesn't feel right here. I'm in Elyys'tel. The armor of Andromeda encases my body and gleams gold in the Caribbean sunset. Beneath it, I am wearing my Vaanti warrior's attire. In my hands, I clutch the mask I won in the Valinorim. One hand drifts towards my chest, and my fingers brush the cold metal dogtags that hang on a ball-chain around my neck. My chest is tight, and my head throbs with grief, but I don't cry. I can't cry.

“This isn't going to help, Alodia,” Aleister says solemnly from behind me.

“...They're all dead, Aleister,” I hear myself reply coldly. “He killed them all. Maybe not directly, but he's responsible for all of their deaths.”

“I don't disagree. But killing him won't bring them back.”

I turn to face him, fully prepared to chew him out for his platitudes when he should want his father dead as much as I do. But then I realize what is actually happening.

“...You're going to say that if I insist on joining the battle, you're going to come with me.”

“Of course I am. We're the last Catalysts left. I'm not going to abandon you.”

“...No. You're not. You didn't even betray us this time. You played your father as a double agent. ...When Zahra blew up the MASADA complex, Jake tried to save me. But he was killed in the process and you got me out instead.”

Aleister doesn't seem put off by my explaining what must be recent history to him. “I'm going to die in the coming battle. I have learned that you're the one my father needs to complete his Janus Project. I don't know why yet, but I know that much. I die to keep you from falling into his hands.”

“...And then I bury the last of my family. And I die...and the timeline resets because I can't let it end like this...I can't let any of you die...”

Aleister reaches out to place a hand on my shoulder. “You can't change what's already happened, Alodia.”

“...I don't want to watch it happen again...”

“You don't have to. You know that.” His eyes flick downward. “Don't waste your time on a battle that's already been fought when you have a much more important one to worry about in the here and now.”

I follow his gaze downward, and dark static floods my vision.

The soft flutter of tiny limbs inside me brings me back to consciousness. The pressure on my bladder is unbearable. I push back the itchy blanket that barely keeps out the cold and struggle off the cheap cot I fell asleep on. The thin plastic mattress creaks as I get to my feet, and I hear a gasp and small movement from the cot beside me.

“Allie...?” Diego's voice is anxious, but still clumsy with sleep.

“I'm okay,” I call back. “I just need to pee.”

I make my way to the corner. We've been moved again. There's no en suite toilet in this concrete basement we've been stuck in this time. Only a plastic toddler toilet—the kind Jake and I will be buying in another year or two. ...That is...if I ever see him again... If we ever get to go back to our home in California and lay our daughter in her crib in her jungle-themed nursery...

Lowering myself onto the seat is an arduous and undignified process. I feel tears on my cheeks by the time I manage to relieve myself, and my hand trembles as I wipe with a cheap, rough paper towel—the only thing we've been provided with. By the time I have gotten through the equally undignified process of standing back up and dragging my gray sweatpants back up over my bulging waistline, I am sobbing. I only get a few steps closer to my cot before Diego takes me in his arms and gently draws me against him. I bury my face in his shoulder. When he leans his head against mine, I feel the subtle prickle of facial hair where his cheek briefly brushes my ear.

He doesn't say anything. Our supply of comforting words has all but dried up. Escape seems impossible with me as I am, especially when we don't have any idea how many of them are actually guarding us or how far we are from civilization. We've all but admitted aloud that rescue is our only hope.

I don't want to obey them. I want to defy them. I want to fight them tooth and nail. But I can't fight them while I am sheltering a child within me. And disobedience only gets Diego hurt. So far, the damage has not been permanent. But I don't know if I can keep him safe indefinitely, even if I kill any will to fight that might be left in me.

It's only a matter of time. If help doesn't come for us, it's only a matter of time before they break me.

Diego

I wish I had access to a razor. Or some scissors. The scissors more than the razor, I think. I don't really mind the growth of hair over my face as much as the hair on my head, which is shaggy enough now to get into my eyes, but not long enough to hook behind my ears. It's funny the things I think about when I'm trying not to break apart.

I'm scared. I'm really scared. I'm scared for Allie. I'm scared for her baby. I'm scared for myself. I'm scared of the fact that I can't rely on Allie right now like I almost always could before. It's not her fault, of course. She just needs me to be the brave one right now, and that terrifies me. But damned if I'm not going to do it. Damned if I'm not going to swallow my fear and hold her hand to get her through this nightmare. Damned if I'm not going to look for an opportunity to escape at every new prison they move us to. I know our best option is probably going to be to wait for someone to find us. But I have to keep watching. It helps me keep it together.

We're bound and blindfolded every time they move us. Sometimes we travel by chopper, sometimes by car or van or whatever they're driving. Maybe an ambulance again. We're not long in the concrete basement prison, which I appreciate, because it's really freaking uncomfortable. It's some kind of van that moves us this time. At least we're actually seated and buckled in this time, even if our hands end up tied to what I think must be the handles of the hooks a lot of cars have on the ceiling for hanging up dress clothes.

“Hey, Allie...” I say lightly, turning my head vaguely toward the weight on the seat beside me. “Is there a name for these things we're tied up to?”

I don't know if there's a partition between us and the drivers. I don't know if they can hear us. I am guessing there aren't any windows to either side of us since two people blindfolded in the back seat with their hands tied to the ceiling would probably be conspicuous. But if the driver can hear us, I don't want them to hear us scared.

“I...I don't know,” she replies. Her voice shakes a little, but she's trying to sound nonchalant, so it seems she's picked up what I'm putting down here. “Dress hooks, I guess? Handles? Before cars had seatbelts, some of them had handles for passengers to hold onto, but I don't think there was any special name for them.”

“Where do you think we're going this time? Another nice farmhouse?”

“I hope so. The farmhouse has definitely been my favorite on this vacation. The last place was shit, though.”

“Total shit,” I agree.

We let our conversation be sparse after that, and when we do speak, it's about silly memories from our childhood. We try to remember the rules to a game our first grade P.E. teacher had taught to the class that was like a slightly more complicated version of group tag, except it involved us all playing characters from Star Wars. We try to name all the seasons of Power Rangers that we grew up with. We try to recite the poems we had to memorize for our last literature class in high school.

Allie is nearly through Rudyard Kipling when the van stops and the engine turns off. Although my adrenaline spikes, I can't help but feel a little relieved, too. My hands are starting to go numb. I'm cut loose and I flex my fingers a few times, hissing softly as the feeling floods back into them. I don't resist as they hustle me out of the van and into whatever prison awaits us now. The air outside is bitingly cold, and the ground beneath my feet is hard. The sound my shoes make slapping against it makes me think pavement. Then, the cold air is replaced by surprisingly pleasant warmth. Central heating. A good sign. A less good sign is the way the soles of my shoes are squeaking and sticking against the floor now. I'm thinking this is tile I'm walking on.

We are finally allowed to stop, and my blindfold is removed. The florescent light might as well be sunlight for a moment, but when my eyes start to adjust, a deep, cold dread settles in the pit of my stomach.

The windowless room we're in resembles a doctor's office, with an exam table, cabinets, a sink, and medical instruments hanging from the wall. There are no decorations, though. Nothing to make it welcoming. Which makes the woman standing beside the exam table in full surgical gear—including goggles—all the more ominous. I can't really see anything about what she looks like. I mean, I can tell she's white, and her eyes look brown behind the goggles, but the blue surgical cap isn't giving me a good look at her hair color, and average height aside, I can't tell anything about her build under the shapeless surgical gown.

I don't like where this is going one bit. Neither does Allie judging by her sharp gasp as she takes in the scene. I press close to her, putting my arms protectively around her.

“What is this?!” I demand. “What are you doing?! Who is she?!”

The strange woman spreads her hands, taking a cautious step toward us. “Calm down, Alodia. I am not here to hurt you. I only want to give you a proper exam.”

Allie grips my arm. “Bullshit,” she hisses.

“Watch it, brat!” Fiddler snaps. “Unless you want your friend to suffer for your rudeness.”

“Stay your hand, Jeanine,” the surgeon-woman says mildly. “Just this once, let's try to work with Alodia instead of against her. I am sure she can be made to see reason here without resorting to violence against Diego.”

I can't figure out what it is, but there is something about her voice. My anxiety is ebbing away as I rack my brain trying to place it, but I'm still alert enough to keep my arms firmly around Allie, who glares at the woman.

“Don't touch me!” she snarls.

“I will not touch you if you don't want me to,” the woman promises. “But it would be in your best interests and your baby's best interests to let me give you an examination. Why don't we make a deal, hmm? Jeanine and her soldiers wait outside. Diego can stay in here with you. And you and I can figure out from there how close you want me to get. Sound good?”

“Hardly!” Fiddler scoffs before Allie can answer. “Leave these two alone in here with you? With no one to make sure they don't stab you with your own scalpel?”

“I don't have a scalpel in here, Jeanine,” the woman replies, sounding amused. “And killing me would hardly do them any good with you and your troops standing outside the only exit. Lock the door if it makes you feel better. I will knock when we're finished. ...What do you say to that, Alodia?”

Allie hesitates, looking uncertainly at me. I shrug helplessly. This is crazy. This is totally crazy. Somehow, Rourke has hired an evil obstetrician who is apparently totally okay with the fact that Fiddler and her goons have kidnapped a pregnant woman, but still wants to act like a not-evil doctor by respecting patient boundaries? I can't even comprehend the level of insane that is happening in front of me right now, and I once fought an actual three-headed sea monster. But what kind of choice do we actually have here? This weird woman's offer certainly sounds preferable to any possible alternative. Allie seems to agree, because she slowly nods.

“Excellent. It's decided then. Jeanine, if you would be so kind as to clear out and give the patient a little privacy?”

Fiddler looks like she's going to argue at first, but then she purses her lips, turns on her heel, and stalks out with her goons following behind her. The woman goes to shoo them out, and that's when I see it: a barely detectable green shimmer at the edge of her mask.

Before I can quite process what I've just seen, I hear the door lock from the outside, and the woman turns back to us.

“All right. Now that we have a little privacy...”

The woman touches the stud sparkling in her earlobe, and her white skin dissolves into green as her holographic disguise melts away. She pulls off her surgical cap, revealing her hair underneath—half-lavender and half-bubblegum pink—swept back into a french braid. Now I know why her voice sounded so familiar.

“...Clockmaker...?!”

[elmidol]

Joy is Laughter in the Darkness

Three Blind Tooke Part Three Death is an Art

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Three Blind Tooke 

 Part Three: Death is an Art

 Chapter Fifty-Nine: Joy is Laughter in the Darkness

 Of stars that dim away,

Of paper and of clay,

You are much more

Than what others

Might use you for.

 The Order of Ren devoted its resources into acquiring more ships and dismantling whatever First Order outposts it came in contact with. The Knights were tasked with searching for artifacts imbued with the Force, although there were two that had opted to research countermeasures for the ysalamir; though the First Order had less in number since Phasma’s defeat and the destruction of two specific bases, it would be foolish to think Armitage Hux did not have his own personal stockpile. You were benched in a way. Surprisingly, you did not feel any resentment towards Kylo for sidelining you. There had been flickers in the connection you had with Rey. They struck at random and had brought you to a sudden standstill or else drove you to your knees. They were sharp, perhaps because of the strain on your relationship. You missed her yet struggled to forgive her for the abandonment. Worried what she would think of you upon learning what you had done, the bond you now had with Kylo.

 In place of going on missions, you had been given access to the children that the Order of Ren had brought; not only those they had taken from under your care, others as well. Many of the older children, the teenagers most of all, spoke of the First Order raids that destroyed their villages and towns. There were those that had reached out to the Order of Ren the same way that they had with the Resistance. Aris did not leave your side often, the young pantoran interested in listening to the stories despite having heard them before. 

 The younglings wore clothing with the colors of the Order of Ren, however the fact that they were not strictly in uniform permitted you a chance to pretend that the war had ended. Mentally exploring the possibilities that lay before you once the fighting was done offered you more motivation to ensure the success of the Order of Ren. You considered the routes wherein the Resistance did join Kylo alongside the ever present possibilities that it did not. Naboo was gone; there was no planet to tether you down. Training for the Resistance in the splinter cell, you had not focused on piloting. That had changed over time, and you discovered that being amongst the stars was one of your favorite experiences.

 You listened to the stories from the younglings who wanted nothing more than to pilot starships as well as those that had been allowed to go on missions with the Order of Ren. Due to their Force sensitivity, it had been deemed acceptable for the children to seek out kyber crystals with which they would later construct their own lightsabers. The First Order, too, had been seeking kyber crystals, although these would power weapons of mass destruction not unlike the Death Star or Starkiller Base. Or the weapon that had obliterated Naboo, you thought sourly.

 Aris was one of the handful of the children that had successfully obtained a crystal. Kylo Ren was in possessions of hers and those of the others. Aris was none the bit pleased by this, the young female impatient. This was an area of darker gray that existed in wartime. The children were learning of the duty to protect oneself, their beliefs, their family, all that they held dear. They were not preparing for a time of peace, they were working to join the cause. It brought to mind for you the differences in how your parents had raised you. Your father preparing you for the possibility of another war. Your mother pushing for you to join her in politics that focused on disarmament. Naboo had a long history of rejecting violence.

 Next you considered Rey and the bond that you had with her, the one that had allowed you to feel her emotions on top of your own. For the first time in weeks, you craved it desperately. She had been the first person to accept you aside from Kylo Ren after you had been broken. Rey had chosen to stay behind subsequent to Snoke’s death, and it had been for you. Her statement that the good she had sensed from Kylo--Ben, she had thought--had stemmed from you; an acknowledgment that you and Kylo complemented one another even when you had wanted to flee. She had represented hope for you when you had been terrified the First Order, Snoke specifically, would win. You, meanwhile, had been her hope that Kylo Ren was not beyond redemption or at least finding a gray area.

 Hope could be a noose with which one hung themselves. Choking, you dismissed yourself from the children and return to the quarters that you shared with your husband, who was currently away on a mission with the Knights. The sheets of the bed were disheveled as you had left them at the start of the cycle following a nightmare that had resulted in sleep paralysis. A warmth had spread through you, rousing you and tugging you away from the monsters that had locked you in place. That had been the first time in so long that you had not felt any pain at the sensations through the bond. Normally Kylo was the one to comfort you, your bond with him stronger than what you had with Rey.

 I miss you, you thought, sinking onto the bed then rolling onto your side and closing your eyes. You were not strong in the Force, were not Force sensitive, however observing the children had allowed you to better understand it. They were newer to their abilities. Their struggles gave you the opportunity to observe their mistakes and successes. You mimicked them now by forcing away all obstacles that existed, each thing that took your concentration off of Rey and the bond that you shared.

 Scenery crawled into view, and you were unsure if you were awake or dreaming. To prevent yourself from waking if you had in fact lost consciousness, you relaxed further into the moment. The grass rose from the ground, sprouting up around the forming flowers in the field. A silhouetted stood feet away from you. It wavered between an indistinguishable shape and humanoid. The darkness of the figure dissipated. Rey stood there staring at you. Her eyes wandered along your body as neither of you took a step towards the other. You had started to hold your breath then recalled that this action might be what drew you into wakefulness.

 “Why did you go away?” you asked, the question having been one you had previously supplied your own answer to after Ap’lek had returned. It had been without warning for you. A sort of betrayal that had cut you, transforming the hope that you had held into a dagger that had carved its mark into your soul.

 Rey slipped one foot forward then another. “I was ready to come running back to you, to him, to not think of anyone else.” The hot trail of tears that began to descend from your eyes fell upon the red and orange flowers at your feet. “Skywalker was dying. He told me, after we were back with the Resistance, he said that you and I, that we helped him to realize that Kylo could change. He stopped calling him Ben, which hurt Leia.” A rejection of the past. “Finn missed you, the way the two of you would joke. It made me think of when we had been on Kylo’s ship--when he took your blood.”

 That was when you had learned that he had survived the incident with Phasma. Or, rather, had been revived after she had killed him. Finn had been able to relax despite the fact that the three of you had been captives of the Order of Ren. It was not the first time that Kylo had allowed Rey to leave unharmed. It had not been the last time he had done so for you either. You mirrored Rey’s actions by starting to walk towards her.

 “Finn told me what he saw when Leia and Kylo met. He told me what Kylo said to her.” There was a brokenness to her voice that revealed her true feelings. She pitied Kylo Ren for having been discarded as well as for, unknowingly, being made his replacement. “That’s not what I wanted.”

 “I know,” you whispered. “He does too.” She nodded at your words in acceptance. This was her area of dark gray in the war. It was one that you had faced, to be torn between allegiances. As Kylo was your other half, he also completed Rey just as she completed you. The shared experiences, the similarities, the differences; all of it created the balance within yourselves. “Part of me feels like I betrayed them all, but I also… I feel like myself for the first time in so long. I want them safe, but I also know that they won’t hesitate to try to kill me.”

 She dipped her chin then raised it once more. “You’ve seen a different side of them.” It was true; you had seen them from the perspective of their enemy. When Kylo Ren had taken you as prisoner so long ago, you had stated that the Resistance was different than the First Order. In their ideals this remained true, however in their actions, those lines had blurred. “When I first went to Skywalker, he didn’t want to train me. He feared my power and that worsened if I touched the dark at all. I was terrified of myself.” She did not have to say anything more for you to understand that she had cut you off in part because that fear had been rekindled with her desire to join you and Kylo in the Order of Ren.

 The explanation offered you a sense of peace that you had not known you had needed. This closure was in regards to your feelings of abandonment, of being unlovable, undeserving of love. You had worried that you had become toxic to the point that everything you touched would crumble or wither away. Instead, unbeknownst to you, it had allowed Rey to thrive even when she had been deprived of light. The influence that she had feared was not manipulation; she had known that she would crumble if she had kept contact with you because it was nothing more than being handed a mirror. To look at herself, to love herself, to join what she believed in rather than allow those she cared for push her in the direction they wanted. It was what you had faced when you had left Naboo and your parents. The differences in your life experiences struck anew.

 “My father used to tell me a story,” you said hesitantly, waiting for her to flinch away due to how she had been repeatedly abandoned by those charged to care for her. Rey lowered herself down into a sitting position amongst the flowers. You again mimicked her, the pair of you facing one another as you started to speak. “He didn’t want to talk more about the monster slayers even though those were my favorite. So he spoke of the stars--it’s one of the reasons I liked Poe calling me Supernova. My father told me that the stars could feel us watch them, he made them anthropomorphic. Every person in existence has a star that is their own. Some days they are brighter than others, other times they fade. You can’t see them in the sky.

 “When they fall down to the planets, it’s the galaxy crying as our heroes fall in their battles. The stars that go supernova, they’re martyrs. They were never afraid to face the possibility of oblivion. Instead they let their temporary light strengthen everyone else. Other stars that went supernova, they were the beings that wanted chaos, wished for the aftermath and sacrificed themselves in the hopes that a black hole would swallow all the other stars.”

 Rey was watching you with widened eyes. Her lips had parted and she paused between breaths. She searched your face while you told the tale that you had learned in childhood from your father. This was something that no one could take away from you nor the others who had heard it. It was precisely how Naboo would live on, how your father lived on.

 “I had been so used to hearing tales of monsters and heroes where things were black and white. Not where something could be either, that it could be evil or good, that the actions were the same even with differing intentions. I shoved that story aside as a fairy tale because I used to hate the gray area it created.” You pressed your hands together in front of yourself. Releasing a laugh, you shook your head. “That is what remains. That it’s all a matter of perspective. If you go supernova, if I do, if anyone does… It’s those who remain that get to spin the narrative of what our actions meant. Skywalker is revered as a hero by so many, yet to others he was the villain that brought the Empire down and thrust the galaxy into disorder.

 “You and Kylo, you both shine so brightly, twin stars that can go nova any second. For the Resistance, if Kylo does then it’s in order to destroy everything while if you do then it’s to help their cause. On the opposite hand, it’s the reverse for the Order of Ren. To the First Order, you’re both villains. You both want chaos and disorder. If you let the fear of what your narrative will become based on the survivors, you’ll just go dim. You’ll flicker out quietly, and those who remain will choose some other star to go nova for them. You have to do what’s right for you.”

 You reached for one of her hands. Rey kept them in place for you to grasp. The flicker of a sensation of touching, of making contact, jerked you apart. You opened your eyes to find yourself staring at the ceiling of the quarters. Though she had disappeared, the warmth from Rey remained with you. She did not close off the bond, which allowed you to feel it: her resolve. The love that she had for herself and for you. You knew what she would choose to do.

 A full cycle passed during which time you observed the younglings again and also utilized the training grounds, enduring the provided supervision without any semblance of bitterness entering your mood. The story that you had told Rey repeated in your mind randomly the entire time. Its truth was applicable to you and better allowed you to understand the decisions that you had made, that you had come to accept. The final traces of worry that you had betrayed what you stood for drifted away. 

 Within that timeframe there had been news of Kylo’s return along with his Knights of Ren. You imagined that they were resting or discussing the results of their mission. The first eight hours elapsed without any of them making an appearance. The tenth hour crawled on, dread creeping into you. You headed for the only area that you could think of besides your quarters or the training grounds; the medbay was buzzing with activity and multiple droids and human physicians alike tried to catch and stop you. You dodged around stormtroopers just as easily. Shoved through until you reached the two beds on which bodies were sprawled. In sight was the bacta tank as well, and it was occupied.

 Your breath hitched at the sight of Ap’lek in the tank. A sharp burn assaulted your lungs, the scream of frustration, rage, despair lodged in your throat. The largest gash was across his chest. The deepest was closer to his abdomen. Bruises marked where something or someone had attempted to crush his windpipe. You trembled in rage, gnashing your teeth together and surging forward. Why had no one come to inform you of this? Ap’lek, who had once been Navrin, was someone you felt close to. They had to know this.

 Turning, you considered the other injured Knight of Ren who was lying on the bed. Kuruk peered down his nose at you, albeit not in disgust. He could lift his head only so much without wincing. The minor injuries he had sustained were covered in bacta and bandages. Blood soaked through the wrappings on his leg. The stain did not spread, which led you to realize that it was old blood. You considered Kylo next. He was seated on the medbay bed across from Kuruk with the remaining four Knights hovering nearby. They each had scratches and bruises that were being patched up by droids.

 “Why didn’t you have someone come get me?” you asked, your tone as harsh as you felt appropriate. Kylo’s lips twitched with amusement. He has something here he doesn’t want me to see. Circumspection revealed what this was. Partially hidden by the Knights’s legs was a container that you recognized by the emblem on its side. It was something from the Empire of old. Curiosity sparked, urging you closer. “Is this one of the projects?”

 Breath audibly escaped through Kylo’s lips. You looked over your shoulder at him, meeting those brown eyes. “Palpatine had a collection of the kyber crystals obtained from fallen Jedi. Some were corrupted, others have retained their original attributes.” There had to be more if he had made a point to keep you away. Your frown deepened, causing him to relent. “These were all within the weapon that Hux used to destroy Naboo.” You recoiled, disgust rolling through your entire body. You shuddered, shook your hands then clenched then, and ground your teeth to keep from gagging.

 “How did Ap’lek get injured?” you asked through gritted teeth. The answer would likely cover the source of his own wounds, which is why you did not feel guilty for failing to explicitly question that. You knew, too, that he would prefer attention not be given to his minor cuts and bruises.

 Kylo addressed the four Knights of Ren who were standing instead of answering your question. He instructed them to take the collection of kyber crystals to their appropriate place--what that meant, you were unsure and did not care much to know at the time. They were then to work with the children who had been learning healing abilities with the Force. You thought back to when Kylo himself had taken away your pain with his hands. The injuries on each of the Knights would have a minor toll on the energy in the children. This was nothing to jeopardize their health; it would benefit them in their training simultaneous to removing the inconvenience of those scrapes from the warriors. Cardo picked up the container then took the lead in exiting medbay along with the others.

 When they were gone, you walked to the edge of the bed and climbed onto it with him. He grunted but did not wince. Only minor injuries, you noted again. Ap’lek, on the other hand, had wounds that brought to question how his internal organs fared. Fear stilled your tongue, not allowing you to ask more about them.

 “The Resistance and First Order arrived during our retreat.” On a previous mission, the Order of Ren had been last to arrive; the Resistance had acquired a portion of the supplies they had wanted from the First Order, which had been successful in keeping the rest. “The stormtroopers have been ordered to execute suicide runs. One blew himself up in an attempt to kill two of my Knights and three Resistance fighters. Ap’lek and one of the Resistance were closest to the blast.” A pause. “Rey used her power to stall the debris as best she could.” He furrowed his brow, his gaze landing on your face. There was no need to tell him; Kylo knew that the bond had been reopened.

 You looked over at Ap’lek, your eyes scanning each of his visible injuries, which covered much of his body. Now you noticed that some of the markings you had mistaken for bruises were in fact charred flesh. Next you inspected Kuruk’s leg and its bloodied bandage. He drummed his fingers on his stomach and endured your scrutiny. Even with bacta, if the damage had gone deep enough into his muscles, it would take time for him to recover.

 Again you faced your husband, eyes tracing the scars on his face and now the ones visible on his exposed chest. You remembered when he had reopened some of those wounds to bring you items to comfort you. You had been mourning your mother, who you had believed had perished in the destruction of the Hosnian system, and had been losing the will to continue to live. Unable to reveal the truth at that time, he had instead returned to you the tooke hairclip. Had been bitter and angry, Kylo having just killed his own father. He had resented you from speaking about your own father. Despite that anger, he relented each time.

 You touched the pads of your fingers to the scar that had been created by a bowcaster shot. Kylo’s eyes were roaming your face; a new memory struck you, wherein he had told you that your face had been the last thing he had seen before he had gone blind and died. Which meant, you noted, that the injury from Phasma had not stolen his sight from him immediately as you had once believed.

 “My mother didn’t tell me as many stories as my father did,” you murmured before falling quiet. You had remembered just how recently his reunion with Leia had been. His head tilted a fraction to the side, a silent form of encouragement. Licking your lips, you continued. “There were people made of paper and people made of clay. The paper could be cut and shaped through force. Or folded without being torn or damaged. The clay could have pieces chipped away. It could be molded so thin that it broke. Or it was shaped into something stronger.” Your fingers shifted up from the bowcaster scar to the scar on his shoulder where Rey had pierced him with the lightsaber on Starkiller Base. “Both can weaken if they get wet, although clay is more resilient.”

 A grunt of thought from him. You waited a breath to see if he wished to interrupt the narrative with a question or comment, however Kylo stayed silent as did Kuruk.

 “No matter what the people were made from, they could not last forever. Something would wear them down. Break them. If a strong clay bowl is dropped from a great enough height or if enough pressure thrust upon it, it’ll shatter. You can glue or tape the pieces together, but it’s never quite the same. The point was that we, no matter what we’re made of, we’re ephemeral. We take for granted what it cost to get us where we are. We sometimes ignore if the hands that shape us are taking things away or if they are using all of us.

 “Even when we shape ourselves, we’re limited to those same methods. I kept working to cut away pieces to fit what everyone else wanted. I stopped doing what I had in childhood: using every part in a unique way to fit who I wished to become. I let their narrative dictate what I wanted, what my actions meant. Being with you and Rey, that let me see what I was doing. I realized again that I had to know and accept myself. I was so afraid to leave the Resistance and join you because I let everyone tell me what that would mean. That it would be me turning away from what I believed in. What I believe in is an end to this war, a way of life beyond the shadow of the Empire and the First Order.

 “At first when you said that you were both the Dark and the Light, I thought you were taking Rey out of the picture of the future you kept painting for me when we spoke. But it wasn’t that, was it?”

 “No.” Soft, quiet. His eyes meeting yours, his chin trembling and lips quivering. “She is the Dark and the Light as well.”

 You leaned forward so that your forehead rested on his collarbone. “It’s accepting the gray. Letting both exist without fearing them. Where the Sith and even Snoke rejected the Light. Where Skywalker feared the Dark. You said that you wanted to regain your vision after you heard me with Finn. Knowing you had to sacrifice part of yourself to be able to see again...what if it had been the part of you that loved me?”

 “I would have to be destroyed entirely.” The warmth you had felt with the renewed connection you shared with Rey was nothing in comparison to this heat at his words. That he felt for you with his entire being, words you knew to be the truth due to the bond you had with him. The war had ceased being solely a quest for power over the galaxy. He had decided to fight for you, to be with you, to see what you saw. To discover what made you laugh when this war had stolen almost everything from you, losses he, too, had experienced. You each had raged in your own ways. Yet your laughter in that moment had been light and genuine. “I can sense that she will join. He may as well.”

 You nodded, thinking of what it might mean for more of the Resistance if Finn and Rey both made the decision to join the Order of Ren. Rey, who had been unfairly positioned into being a face for the cause. A puppet. A replacement for the long-dead Ben Solo. What she symbolized did not fully align with her own personal beliefs.  These she had been afraid to admit even to herself, causing her to shut you out. You almost snorted at that, knowing you were guilty of the same crime.

 “You were told a lot of stories as a child, weren’t you?” Kuruk asked. You twisted around and grinned at him. “Write them down.” It was something that you had only passingly thought. Preserving them beyond just your memory in case death took you before the chance to tell the stories to others came. Naboo had to live on in every way that it could. It was more than a casualty in this war. A sense of calm, of peace, enveloped you like a warm embrace.

 Scooting onto the bed beside Kylo, you laid down with him and listened to the sounds from the bacta tank. You had to hold onto the belief that Ap’lek would heal. While he did so and while you were not on missions, you would compose the tales that your parents had told you. Include many of the stories from teachers and others that had not, to your knowledge, been written. There were places on the holonet to send them where they could be shared on a greater level. You would have to be careful, though, so as to not lead the First Order to you.

 When the war was done, you wanted to continue to give life into the galaxy. They were the lives of times and people gone by. Words that could shape generations. It extended beyond resisting some opposing force.

 You moved so that your ear was pressed to Kylo’s chest. You listened to and counted his heartbeats, grateful that he was alive and there with you in that moment.