#the break was helpful and needed though
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Me, everyday:
#I’m back but not really because my internet sucks lol#the break was helpful and needed though#I feel reset#tobie talk
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Mithrun being a mostly autonomous disabled person with caretakers is incredibly important to me, building up routine habits in order to "fully function" while also still requiring help is so real tbh
#I too have a caregiver even though I'm considered somewhat functional#I think people under estimate the amount of help people with certain disabilities need even if they're not fully visible#mithrun being capable of walking talking and being a leader while still having people around him who will remind him to eat or sleep#keeping him safe when breaking down#help him get dressed in the morning when he can't be bothered to remember how to do it himself#that is incredibly real to me#anyway I hope this post doesn't get destroyed#dmd tag#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#mithrun#these are thoughts I shared with my bestie so shout out to sky for that
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I saw on your IG you had some nasty comments about this but as a curvy girl, THANK YOU for the way you draw Karlach and Shadowheart's bodies!! They're both so soft looking :')
YOU'RE SO WELCOME LET THEM BE SQUISHY
#ramble#bg3#y e a h i get that whenever my art breaks containment#it's ok though it helps my engagement#i've always drawn karlach the way that strongwomen/deadlifters are built#like it doesn't make sense for her to be thin because to maintain muscle that's for function and not just for show you NEED fat#you need something to PROTECT those abs they can't just be open to the elements#also i like women who could crush me#that's all the justification i need
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HUSK, Hotel Bartender & Concierge | 1x04 - Masquerade
"Oh, I FORGOT — you're the wise-old bartender who's seen it all! Get the fuck over yourself and pour me a real drink."
#hazbin hotel#husk#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel edit#masquerade#my gifs#character spotlight#Certified Redemption ☑︎#hello hi i'm in love with the kitty man like actually#he NEEDS more screentime in s2 in fact he needs his own episode#PLS PLS she confirmed that we're gonna get to know some (but not all) of the character's backstories in s2 PLEASE LET HUSK BE ONE OF THEM#I'LL ACTUALLY DIE THANK YOU#alright i'm coming back to these tags to point stuff out#first off - the fact that he closes his eyes and shakes his head and reaches up to hold his suspenders before offering actual help#physically hyping himself up to lend a hand even though his whole thing is having an empty shell of a heart - apparently.#AAAAAA#but ALSO#holding his suspenders - self soothing gesture possibly? he knows lending a hand could give way to vulnerability on his end regardless if h#even shares personal information about himself or not - at the BARE MINIMUM he is saying ''look. i care a little. okay?'' by even OFFERING#help to begin with. AND OTHER THING!!!!!!!#the fact that he himself bitched and moaned earlier that episode about how EVERYONNEEE likes to bitch to the bartender#and he talks about how he knows everything about everyone seemingly against his better wishes#it's all part of the job he's forced to do#so you could also look at him shaking his head as a way for him to literally ''shake off'' that attitude because again. HE CARES.#even if it's just a little.#then GODDDDD his reaction to angel breaking down. the way he softens. his ears go down. he looks to the ground.#his ''old crusty heart'' was actually touched - not in the happy way of course. it was pain. struck with sympathy and remorse.#LISTEN I LOVE THIS GOD DAMN CAT OKAY
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Happy Halloween and Wei Wuxian day!
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#I'm trying to practice digital art more - initially wasn't going to draw anything for today....I simply couldn't rest until I *did*.#I'm starting to get the hang of it !#I find traditional *much* easier especially with colouring. It still feels very...off to me.#The noise filter helps retain some of the texture I find digital lacks! More experimentation needed though.#Original draft for their costumes was 'Groom of Hanguang-jun' and 'Bride of The Yiling Lazou'.#Y'know; like those 'bride of Frankenstein' and 'Frankenstein's monster' sort of couple costumes.#Their costumes now are 'Well educated lady with land someone wants (and it's the 1600s)' and 'Werebunny'.#Every costume wwx ever puts on has a full backstory and lore to it. Even if its just a hat and fake mustache.#Okay I'm on break NOW. I will return when my long comic is done.
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Recently saw a post that said "People only like to ship Sunflower before the incident or after the good ending when they've had extensive therapy and that means it's toxic!!" Listen personally I don't ship Sunflower but like? Shut up?
Obviously they BOTH need a lot of therapy and healing before they can do something like start a relationship or even heal from the incident in general. You think Sunny's just gonna drop the bombshell that he killed Mari and helped hang her and immediately go back to dating Kel or Aubrey? In fact, I think all 5 of them need therapy because Kel, Aubrey and Hero now have to heal and accept the truth if they ever want to forgive Sunny and Basil.
So yeah if you say that people who acknowledge when others need therapy before getting into a relationship are toxic then you're stupid af.
And as for the pre incident shipping-- yeah, based on how Sunny views him in headspace its fair to say there might have been a crush when they were younger, but of course everyone dismisses that because Aubrey is a girl and so main character must be shipped with said girl.
If you're saying Suntan or Sunburn is perfectly healthy right after The Truth but that Sunflower is toxic and unrealistic, I think you just hate Basil. Because in that case there's no way any of Sunny or Basil's ships are good relationships considering Kel and Aubrey have been lied to for 4 years about the death of a girl they loved and cared about.
#this is why kelbrey stays on top#lol just kidding ship whoever in that 4 you want#it kills me to see sunny shipped with everyone but basil being dismissed for any romance potential because everyone hates basil#if youre gonna ship sunny with people then you have to let others ship basil with people#sunny is just as mentally ill as basil#and they both need help before they can do something like date#this fandom has a weird obsession with hating on everyone elses ships#but i think Suntan and Sunburn shippers do it the most because theyre so hellbent on making sure everyone knows their ship is the healthiest#even though its not#there i said it break into my house now#not saying all of them are dicks#just the ones who bash on other ships because theyre 'toxic'#and im talking about ships in the main 4 not some shit with hero and one of them#omori#omori kel#omori basil#omori aubrey#omori sunny#omori ship#omori sunkel#omori sunburn#omori sunflower#omori analysis#omocat
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Announcement: GOAL!
Hi! So we finally made it to day 100 - the goal I set out to do from the start but had no idea if I could actually reach lol.
I made this blog in the middle of dealing with art block. I hadn't really been feeling inspired to draw or create much for about a year.
The longest I've ever lasted on a daily drawing challenge before this was day 3. Now that I've made it to day 100 and I'm finally starting to get ideas and inspiration again, I'm satisfied :]
This is NOT the end of the blog. Just a hiatus until the next art block, which (let's be real) will probably be sooner than later lol.
Thank you to everyone who's been following along so far. I really, genuinely appreciate all the tags and comments and familiar faces.
Until next time! <3
#gonna keep the rambling in the tags ->#i've also kind of been hit with something similar to the ao3 author curse in the time of this challenge#i found it really difficult to keep up sometimes because of all the stuff going on. to name one i got hospitalised. and as a result of#what happened im now working on getting a diagnosis for multiple sclerosis lol#i have a lumbar puncture scheduled soon so i hope that goes well#it's funny looking at some of the days on this blog knowing the context behind them lol. but the fact that i did it anyways makes me feel#kinda proud you know? but i definitely need a break for a minute lmao#ill definitely revisit this blog. if anyone reading this is struggling with creative block i would recommend daily challenges. it helped a#LOT for me. though 100 days might not be for everyone hahah#anyways everyone say good job toast#zelda daily announcement
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[To the Rest of Our Lives Together, Unafraid]
absently, he fidgets with the ring freshly on his finger, as scar's jaunty whistling reaches him.
they're married now.
really, truly married. for life.
for lives. because they're going to have multiple. they're going to have an endless number of them, all of them shared, bound and meant to be together.
--- Scar here
#ange draws#hhau#hhau art#wedding grian!!#he put so so so much effort into this#many hermits helped him!#especially mumbo and gem for the last touches on the day-of#his shirt is a colour close to his wings#that is deliberate#(he's a beacon-)#and the decorations on his wings were a STRUGGLE#he didn't let anyone help#because nobody (but scar) can touch his wings#but grian had no idea how to do it himself#and it was frustrating and a little bit overwhelming#and he needed to take a break midway through#but he did it!!#(scar gently takes those off his wings midway through the day as grian starts to get overwhelmed by sensations)#(but the first time scar sees him that day?)#(gosh he's so smitten)#(he asks grian if he'll marry him even though this already IS their wedding)#(silly man)#scarian implied#also yes that's THE ribbon pinned to his breast
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AU where Atreus gets stuck as a bear and him and Sindri have to go on a brother bear style adventure to make him human again.
also open to the idea that this happens after Ragnarok and this is the story of how Atreus and Sindri reconnect
#god of war sindri#sindri#god of war atreus#god of war#god of war ragnarok#i like the idea that this happens after Ragnarok alot#sindri is so consumed by grief and wants everyone to leave him the hell alone but this godamn bear keeps following him#and of course the godamn bear is actually Atreus#Hasn't he done enough already??#but he so clearly needs help and Sindri can't fight off a bear that just refuses to let up#they make a deal that if he helps atreus become human again then he will leave him alone forever#obvs they end up making a fantastic tag team#freya tells them they have to travel to a high mountain and preform a spell in order to change him back#one adventure and some begrudging bonding/healing later and they get to the mountain#wacky bear shenanigans included#the spell docent work though#because Atreus is stuck this way because of his guilt#the spell only breaks when Sindri tells him that he's got to let go of his guilt#he finally listens to his brother's last words#godamnit i wish i could write coz this could be such a cool fanfic
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imagine naming you character poptart. couldnt be me...... who would do such a thing....
#nonsense#hey whoops ive been kinda sick imma be honest#apologies for the lack of stuff...#much needed break though arg!!!#but also help. what was I on naming him POPTART LMAOOO I cant even remember or find the origins anywhere#it just started as some discord joke and then stuck (?)#anyways grant me your strength my followers#im going to need some to get over the daily migraines all week#something something daylight savings messed me uppppp
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New Star Tier reward pack is up and live over at the Solivaga Patreon! Part 1 of an Autumn png asset pack that I made for myself for Chapter 3. These are all painted by me, by hand, and if you want to snag them to help with your background work, you can pick them up at the link below! Autumn Illustration Assets
#pu art#art process#art resources#assets#illustration#autumn#fall#cottagecore#forest#trees#grass#art help#oh my god i've been so busy#forgive me everyone I miss takling to everyone and posting already lol#but I will be free soon since the chapter's rolling and patreon's ready to go up#though I might post the rest of this months' rewards tomorrow#I am in need of a Break today#and yes the preview illustration was made wholly with these assets <3#the long full background painting is also included in the files to be used if you wish
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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Not to psychoanalyze (Yes, to do that), but given Armand's history, his only preconception of what love is, is to view it through pure desire. Love - and more broadly accurate, his life purpose for like half a millenia - as only he's ever known it, has only been experienced through transactional wish-fulfillment fantasies, of which he was the one typically sought after to complete such an exchange. And so naturally, in his own seeking, he replicates it. Though to some degree he also replicates the fantastical existence of fictional romances to compensate.
This lack of true experience of love without desire or fantasy, making his always unfilled 'objet petit a' - his object of desire - (a partner he desires a particular love from but does not receive to his fulfillment) - the catalyst for believing there is no other form of love to be had. That he can simply love the person, and be altruistic to their personhood, without them filling a role or desire for him, just would never occur. He's egotistical and overly pragmatic towards others by the fault of formative experiences denying him his own personhood. In being groomed into the object of desire, he no longer sees anyone else but as such. It's equal parts lack of self-awareness, meaning he simply has no way to counter-reflect upon himself the way one should behave, and developed coping mechanism, either consciously or unconsciously, taking on the role of those who inflicted upon him their desires to gain a sense of control over it.
In never escaping this cycle of love as desire, he always denies himself his full person, and simultaneously denies the personhood of others.
#tldr: Armand is ten trauma responses in a trench coat#the vampire armand#Armand#character analysis#IWTV#interview with the vampire#lacanian psychoanalysis? In my interview?#I'm NOT an expert by the way this is just for funsies#Also if he does love daniel and yet daniel gives him only the very thing he least desires and yet he still loves him after. That#would be like proof of a love beyond desire.#he might not realize this proof though or perhaps has a great anxiety about it's existence leading to cognitive dissonance#It would be proof as well if for whatever reason despite Daniel having every reason to hate him he does find something to love about him.#I think that kind of confrontation between them could lead towards a confrontation with the possible breaking of this cycle.#beyond daniel as well maintaining normal nonforceful noncommital relationships with others would just help him significantly#and I don’t even bring it up here but Armand falls victim to limerance I feel this involuntary obsessive affection towards someone’s#it’s to such that he values whatever can sustain this obsession more that the object of his obsession themselves#his deep fear of abandonment as only the immortal can bind another immortal to a sense of grounded place to surroundings#something tangibly like constant in a world that always and forever changes#to be abandoned by someone like you would be to be abandoned by the only world you can really know#that is if you need your world to be in relation to others and can’t actually concieve of yourself in it as a full self
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Back to what I do best (bare minimum Putting My Guys In Situations shitposts) 😌
Inspo under cut!!!
#fire emblem#feh#got so mad at my other thing i finished this one out of spite.#this shitpost is also what spurred on my recent fairy posts! really really funny and unironically cool#how shitpost redraws can just. help you get a better feel for a chara and/or their dynamics w other charas#or in this case makes you REALLY think about them like!!! yeah haha funny plumeria hatemail#but like how am i gonna draw her actually? how am i gonna portray her? i need to figure these things out as i go#which led to my redesign and oops! uh oh! she's in my brain now. she's taking on a life of her own.#i def needed the break/detour though... if i ever want to get to my fairy lore i have to. develop the fairy lore.#also kind of fucked up and evil i think i finally hit a point where i was tired of drawing alfonse. insane.#to be fair... that other project i've been working on.... has hands.#again just a much needed break/shifting of gears. it was a lot of fun!!!!!#this was a rush job though i will admit that. again. finished out of Spite.#okay okay now that i'm done complaining. about the piece itself i feel like i have to say#THE CHARACTERIZATION... IS SO PEAK SILLY HERE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. ESPPP SHARENA#sharena just being a yes man to moe. bc they're besties she HAS to be in its corner and defend its good name!!! 😤😤😤#moe just. being oppositional just for the sake of it. guy who loves to just Say Things so long as it gets a good reaction.#(CAN GO. SO POORLY FOR IT.)#alfonse.#i just loooove... putting guys in situations... it's soooooo fun#fe plumeria#sharena#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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after 2015 until 2018 it seemed that things had calmed down a bit between valentino and marc, in the sense that they had started to be polite between them again and valentino no longer seemed to be on a war footing. then after argentina obviously the situation worsened again. in the podcast where valentino spoke in 2021 if I'm not mistaken, when he talks about marc,however, he only refers to the events of sepang and not to what happened in argentina which instead seemed to have been the final “divorce”. so my question is, during 2016 and 2017 did valentino just pretend to put up with marc? because in that podcast you can feel valentino's resentment is still a lot even after many years, so I imagine it must have been even greater in the two years immediately following sepang, even if it didn't seem if you see how he behaved
well. look. it was reflected in how valentino behaved... I think sometimes if you see isolated photos and gifsets, you can maybe be left with a bit of a mistaken impression of what that dynamic actually looked like for those two years. they got to a point post-catalunya where they were civil to each other, and maybe they'd exchange two lines in greeting, at podium celebrations, when somebody in a presser made a joke... and maybe marc at the very least was sincerely hoping they could get back to something like what they had before 2015. in reality, though, it was still very very far away. it wasn't open hostilities... at some point in 2016, valentino realised he simply couldn't go on like this. I talked about it a bit here:
you get this discrepancy in his 2016 output, actually. if you compare what he's saying that autumn for written press interviews vs what he's saying with marc right next to him... he'd clearly decided there was zero point in directly fanning the flames. at the sepang 2016 presser when marc and him are quizzed on what had happened the previous year, he just goes with marc's response and decides against reopening the controversy by adding anything from his side. but he still made it clear he hadn't changed his mind in interviews from the exact same time period! at times, he tolerates marc's tentative advances - at other times, he's almost accidentally sucked in, like he can't quite help himself from laughing at something marc has said. but there was never a period where he forgave marc for what he'd done... for various reasons he just decided he wasn't going to harp on about it too much. he did basically say as much post-argentina 2018:
but yeah, argentina 2018. it's an interesting one, isn't it? the stuff that valentino says there doesn't actually feel... quite in line with anything else he's said about marc. typically, when valentino criticises marc, it really is all about sepang 2015 - it's very focused, very specific, he's talking about being unable to forgive marc on a personal level for something marc had done to valentino... but it's not like he's really coming at marc for anything else... when other riders have gotten into spats with marc, he's stayed out of it - and generally he remains pretty neutral when he talks about everything else concerning marc. so, for example, there's a world where the moment alex rins is saying marc doesn't respect other riders in 2019, valentino immediately jumps at the opportunity to offer his hot take... but he doesn't do that. and yes, he had criticised marc's riding before, in particular in marc's moto2 days, but obviously those criticisms were considerably more restrained and sounded at times quite worried for marc's sake. (he also got close to that in silverstone 2016 when he remarked marc had 'something special' for their battles, but a) he's not wrong, except insofar as it's clearly mutual, and b) he explicitly said he didn't have a problem with that fight and considered it hard but fair). in 2017, when valentino was criticising other riders for being too aggressive... well, he wasn't doing so with marc, and he even conceded the point to marc in subsequent races after marc had obliquely criticised valentino at cota for his rhetoric not matching up to his own riding. when valentino's young riders have gotten into their own spats with marc, he's not waded in either, at most saying stuff about marc's fight with pecco that from his lips sounds almost like something akin to praise. radio silence after bez's run in with marc at the end of last year... argentina 2018 is the exception not the rule
and you know... at the end of the day, that was an emotional reaction. valentino might be wearing the habitual smile on his face during the media debrief and sound reasonably calm and composed, but he was furious. which, it's always worth remembering, isn't an entirely unreasonable reaction to that specific situation. yes, valentino doesn't have a clean track record either, but you're going to struggle to find such a... weaponised carelessness, a blatant disinterest in his fellow riders while shoving them aside, in the way marc was exhibiting that day - and indeed that whole weekend. looking back, of course argentina 2018 ended up being an isolated blot on marc's track record that he's not come close to repeating since (yes, he's made high profile errors that took out other riders, but it's different)... but we didn't know that at the time. also, I doubt valentino much appreciated being treated just like an obstacle in marc's path! the fact that valentino wasn't the only marc victim that weekend kind of has an interesting effect, because you have to doubt whether it would have helped if valentino felt like he was being targeted specifically by marc, but on the other hand... well, it's almost disrespectful, isn't it... being singled out is in a way still better than being brushed aside like any other rider
still, valentino's pushing it with his criticisms, he's out of line, and he clearly did lash out in the heat of the moment - which was of course largely a product of the resentment he'd been holding onto those past two years. calling marc's behaviour that day dangerous? sure, you'd find a lot of agreement for that. saying that marc was ruining the sport? that he was intentionally causing other riders to crash? ... well, hold on one moment. I reckon the simplest explanation is the best one here: valentino was angry and said stuff he wouldn't otherwise say, which we know because he's not done so before or since. of course, he was never going to retract what he said about marc that day - he wasn't ever going to apologise for it. not with their history, not when there was still just enough about those argentina comments that he meant... so he wasn't going to feel too much regret about the bits he wouldn't have said under any other circumstance. the problem post-2015 for valentino is that constantly signalling his fury to the world wasn't doing him much good... but pretending like everything was just fine clearly also took a bit of a toll. argentina 2018 wiped the slate clean - even though they gradually crept back towards basic civility after that. and valentino really didn't continue with that line of critique... since then he's basically completely reverted back to a sepang 2015-centric approach. maybe a few hints at it... in 2021, he said something along the lines of how he doesn't feel good when he's on-track with marc, but that's pretty generic while also crucially being personal - he's not saying marc is a problem for the series, he's saying it's them specifically that have an issue with each other
which doesn't mean he didn't believe what he said in argentina 2018 in the moment... when they reconvened in cota and had marc and valentino do separate media debriefs from the main presser, valentino said he stood by his comments - but also didn't actually repeat them or elaborate on them or anything. he's back to terse short responses to the press' questions, saying he wants to focus on the race ahead: kind of the go-to approach when it comes to marc post-sepang (with notable exceptions). he's walked his strongest comments back as much as he was probably ever going to - by simple virtue of the fact that he's left it at that. and you know, he's a complicated guy... 2016-17 was both pretending and it also wasn't. he didn't act like everything was forgotten, but he certainly was willing to let people believe that this relationship might end up being mended - which quite frankly was probably never going to happen. mostly, he was just sort of sick of the whole thing, struggling to enjoy himself in what had become such a charged, hostile environment for all the riders involved. at the same time, look - fundamentally, the interpersonal chemistry with marc was always fine. they click as people! they click as riders! marc makes valentino laugh! sometimes, that line between 'pretending' and 'letting yourself pretend' and 'actually not pretending at all' can be quite thin. when valentino talks in that time period about how much he enjoyed a battle with marc, of course he isn't lying - because he really does enjoy those fights! that's what racing is all about for him, and that's something him and marc still share! as long as marc isn't barging him aside and causing him to crash, that is. maybe it'd be easier if it were all a pretence, but it wasn't... sometimes, when you say you thought a race was hard and fair, you really do mean it and you really did have a lot of fun. sometimes, the struggle isn't actually acting nice for the cameras, it's trying to bite down the temptation to laugh alongside your sworn enemy
see also assen 2016... like, isn't this kinda wild? you've just had catalunya the race before, you've just had the mere semblance of a tentative start to a possible reconciliation - then they return to the place that was really the beginning of the end for them. they go on a few track familiarisation laps, including to check out the resurfaced final chicane (aka the scene of the crime). they race each other on said track familiarisation laps. then marc brings it up in the presser, giggling about the whole thing, and apparently valentino also finds it pretty funny - before he visibly swallows up his grin. later that weekend, marc pointedly decides to try out valentino's final chicane move himself during the warm up session. this is all obviously deranged, but it's a type of deranged where they are fundamentally on the same wavelength. it's the kind of ridiculous behaviour they're both incredibly fond of... you see it in how valentino shrugs off the towing at catalunya 2019, and thinks it speaks to marc's smarts and wiliness - unsurprising, really, because they're so similar in that regard, and valentino has never shaken his admiration for marc as a competitor
valentino can clamp down on his animosity towards a rival during his direct interactions with them... lord knows if you watch a few of the casey and valentino face-to-face interactions over the years, you really wouldn't match that up with the sheer vitriol of some of the stuff they were concurrently saying about each other in the press. that rivalry was never really personal (on valentino's end), it was never fraught in the same way (for valentino anyway) - still, it shows he's theoretically capable of separating this stuff out when he needs to... and he just about managed with marc for two years. if he had just been waiting for an excuse, surely you would have heard at least a hint of that when him and marc swapped paint in 2017. you never quite knew how he was going to answer the inevitable questions about marc's riding, but no direct criticism was forthcoming at any stage. the post-argentina 2018 rhetoric wasn't in any way premeditated from valentino's side, and personally I don't think he was just waiting for an excuse either. it was the result of a constant internal conflict between knowing that engaging in any more active beef with marc wouldn't do anyone any good, and the fact that he still hadn't forgiven marc... and then a race came along that simply pissed him off enough to push him over the edge
from 2016 onwards, valentino both very much wanted and very much did not want further conflict with marc, and neither of those impulses ever quite go away. usually, he's disciplined enough to avoid stoking the flames any further... potshots to the press outside of the paddock are essentially a free and harmless outlet in that regard, and even there you can tell he was trying to scale it back in the years where he was being forced to directly interact with marc. he was pretending and not pretending and sometimes pretending like he wasn't pretending and sometimes pretending like he was pretending. maybe it would have always just taken one major on-track confrontation for things to fall apart between them again... but you do kinda have to acknowledge the whole thing was really unfortunate. I've long thought that something like sepang 2015 was pretty inevitable as long as valentino managed to put himself in title contention once marc had joined the premier class, but I don't actually feel the same way about argentina 2018. an awful marriage of circumstance and coincidence and bad choices caused the relationship to fall apart again this badly. valentino might have had some more or less sincere misgivings about marc's riding, but at the end of the day he wasn't going to ever express them unless it got personal - because all of these people are incredibly self-centred and valentino wouldn't have felt like it was worth it. he lost his temper, he said some stuff he might partly but not fully believe, he's not inclined to bring it up again. that's that
#podcast was 2023 and also it's different now that he's retired. i think he tucked the resentment away when he actually interacted with marc#thing is direct exposure to each other inevitably seems to help the relationship BUT it's risky as long as they're both competitive#if you fuck about with their age gap i reckon they would've just gone through this cycle again and again lol. deeply deranged#low key jorge in 2009 made such a scrunchy interesting comment about how valentino deals with his rivals... i do need to write that essay#to main tag or not to main tag..... hm. nah let's not#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#u can kinda argue that both big valentino attacks on marc show the dangers of bottling things up...#like deadass if you'd just had normal amounts of drama before those incidents it wouldn't have been SO bad#just do a friendship break up with him after assen 2015 and everything after that is way more sane and normal#if you criticise him a bunch during 2017 for being a dick on track sure it sparks a lot of discourse but it makes arg '18 less horrendous#kinda just eats away gradually at him and then suddenly it boils over#goes both ways of course... marc's response to that misano 2019 quali incident did take me aback. very funny though#one of his most valentino-esque weekends in the sport start to finish. absolute cinema love that dickhead
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#BEHIND THE CODES SPRINGTRAP NOOO#Hi. im posting this here during a break from studying. i'll be back soon though#:]#i plan on making some springdad au animations in the future to better my skills#working on the au helped me get through some stuff irl and honestly im not ready to let go of it so soon#i'd say its different from the aftons suburb one. i had lost interest in it when it became some sort of shitpost#there is nothing wrong in having 'shitpost aus' but ig its not how i wish to view things#i do like ephemeral stuff#things that last for a while and that make you think 'woah. im glad i had the opportunity to see this' are always my favorite#aftons suburb was one of these cases#springdad au is going through the same path. but i trully believe theres more content to come from it#oh and about BTC?#i took a break from it. its been two or three months since that folder was last opened (and if i did open it. i didnt do anything)#its relatively hard to come up with good dialogs when theres also a need to comprehend how different characters express themselves#especially when said characters are older than you. or smarter than you in some way#some of them speak louder. while others will speak through their actions#thought i had to grow up a bit more to understand how these things work.#turns out. that mindset was blocking the whole creative process#anyway. its going to take a while#thank you for your patience
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