#the brainrot has never been so real

[satansleftnutcheek]

Just had like the biggest brain realization about Astarion bear with me I think I'm onto something here. Spoilers ahead for those who don't know about his "condition" or haven't heard about his tragic backstory™

I think people generally overlook the bite scene in favor of focusing on how it reveals Astarion being a vampire, how it can benefit the player if you're trying to romance him, or find an easy way to get him out of your party. I would like to note that there’s nothing wrong with this response! I did the same in my play through because I already knew he was a vampire due to spoilers. I just saw the scene as Astarion looking for his equivalent of a sandwich when it happened.

But why does Astarion bite Tav of all people?

The obvious answer is because Tav's the protagonist. Any important character scenes will happen to or involve them because they're the player character. It's the nature of how RPG stories are told. However, Larian Studios has put a lot of thought into this game, so why not dig a bit deeper?

Assuming Tav has everyone in their camp when this scene is triggered, Lae'zel and Shadowheart are off the menu purely because if things go wrong they'd immediately kill Astarion. Not good! If things go wrong with Karlach he could possibly smooth talk his way out of it. After all, she's a very kind person who goes out of her way to help people. But she's also twice his size and could snap him like a twig, which is not a risk worth taking.

Wyll isn't nearly as much of a threat as the other three, if it came down to it, Astarion could probably take him in a fight. The main problem here is that Wyll happens to have a habit of killing monsters, which would make talking things out really difficult. Astarion's relied on skills like persuasion for the past 2 centuries so he'd probably want to have his best skills be viable options if things go awry. Halsin, much like Karlach, is twice his size and could kill him with ease. Hard pass on that! This leaves Gale as the last, and really only, viable option. I mean look at him, he's frail as hell, always having the lowest HP in the party, and his weapon is a stick. Worst thing that could happen to Astarion is a bonk on the head.

So then why Tav? Why are they the one Astarion bites?

Now Tavs come in a lot of varieties. The player could be doing a Dark Urge run, they could be playing as the embodiment of pure evil, the kindest soul that is second only to Jesus, or somewhere in between. However, the one thing that unites them all is their power. They're the leader of the party and the others (to varying degrees) respect them. Tav is the one that chooses where the party goes, who they help, who they kill, and even how they'll have the tadpoles removed. In a way, Tav controls the party.

Remind you of something that Astarion openly talks about wanting?

For two centuries Astarion hasn't had autonomy, respect, freedom, resources, or control. What he's learned from those centuries is that power always gets you what you want. If you want freedom you need the power to control others. So while biting Gale would be the easy answer, it doesn't have the perk that biting Tav does.

If Tav wakes up during his biting attempt, Astarion could smooth talk his way out of it. If things go okay and Astarion gets to keep his head, he'll have gained more of Tav's trust. This in turn would give Astarion greater power over them as they'd be easier to manipulate, which in turn gives him more control over the others. If he ends up killing Tav then that technically would open up a power vacuum in the party. Whoever fills it would have all the power and control that Tav has. I don't think any of the other characters would let that happen though. Astarion's the person who you don't want to be the leader because he's clearly performing this role for his own self-centered reasons. Also seeing as this scene generally happens early in the game, nobody likes him enough to just let him become the leader.

Now if Tav lets Astarion bite them things get more interesting. It's a possibility that never occurred to him, but he isn't going to turn it down. First of all, it establishes Tav as an easy food source. Astarion has a consenting snack that in the future, might let him bite again. If that happens then Astarion's food source becomes far more reliable and surviving becomes significantly easier. Tav's consent also reveals how much they trust Astarion. From his perspective Tav's shown too much of their hand. Astarion's simple plan to manipulate Tav for the sake of his security has become child's play at this point.

All this being said having Astarion choose to bite Tav over Gale reveals so much about his character. While Gale is the safest choice to make, Tav's position of leadership is what entices Astarion to bite them over Gale. After experiencing two hundred years of mental and physical abuse, Astarion values power so much he'd be willing to risk his ability to not become a mind flare, and his life, in order to gain it. All because this is what he learned from being Cazador's slave for 200 years.

[marskid11]

CAIT LEARNED THE PROTECTIVE ARM GESTURE THING FROM VI I CAN'T

[lovelydrusilla]

my girllll 💗💗💗

[the-priestess-of-dawn]

Been thinking about a postgame scenario that goes in a direction I don't think canon would ever take in a million years, but like... I think it could be really compelling...

And that's the idea of Chrom becoming Plegia's king after Grima's defeat. And specifically giving up his claim to Ylisse's throne to do it (leaving it to Lucina when she's old enough).

Because here's the thing... The game ends with Grima's defeat/Robin's return in the sacrifice ending. It doesn't address what happens to Plegia at all, and while I personally maintain that Aversa is the most qualified candidate to rule, her canon ending provides that she goes back to the village she was born in. So, fine. Let's give her that.

But SOMEONE has to do SOMETHING because realistically, Plegia is in dire straits. Validar, the king and the leader of the Grimleal, is dead. He gave, like, ALL of Plegia's resources to the Ylissean League (well, okay, we don't know how much, if any, he left in reserve, but... He really needed Walhart gone and it's not like he had any reason to think that anyone would need resources once Grima was running around, so... chances are good there's little to nothing left in the wake of the averted apocalypse). And the population has been utterly devastated, because not only did people (exactly how many is unclear, but presumably it took more than just a couple) have to sacrifice themselves to renew the fell dragon's power, but Grima was also spawning Grimleal onto their back at the final battle. Their losses are so immense...

So first of all, Chrom is definitely responsible for taking all their resources and setting half of them on fire (Now to be fair, Flavia and Basilio are also responsible, but... Idk, I kinda feel like they'd bicker with each other over who has to do the crappy parts of the job and then agree that they should just ask Chrom if he can do it. Like "Haha, if you didn't want to deal with thieves ambushing the Longfort to steal construction supplies, you shouldn't have gone and beaten me at the last tournament!" "Oh, shut up. Let's see if Chrom can send his thief friend over to talk these guys down. Or kill them, whichever." I mean, Chrom is always going to be their guy who knows a guy.) There's just no way Chrom would abandon the surviving Plegians who need help anyway, but especially not when he knows the war with Valm would've ended before it could begin without them.

Of course, there's the historical hostility between Ylisse and Plegia to consider, but... If anyone's protesting, it's probably the Ylisseans. Because the survivng Plegians, uh... probably were never Grima's most devoted followers in the first place (if you really wanted to give Grima your life, you'd rush to the front of the line at the Dragon's Table, right?) and even if they used to consider themselves true Grimleal, the religion's leadership is destroyed, and—for the purpose of this scenario, I'm considering it post-sacrifice ending—the fell dragon is gone and not coming back. These people narrowly avoided becoming Grima's breakfast or Grima's meat shields. They all almost certainly know someone who wasn't as lucky. And the one who saved them... Well, it was Chrom, wasn't it? Because he believed in humanity enough to challenge the concept of fate, a fate that the people of Plegia were surely taught was inescapable. Despite their history with Ylisse, it's hardly unreasonable for them to see Chrom as a savior to them specifically. The second coming of the Hero-King who ought for the lives of all humans, really.

And yeah, I'm going here... Chrom is Marth's descendant. Marth was Altean. Former Altea is is modern Plegia, so technically, the people can argue that he's actually theirs.

Doesn't it sort of make sense, even? Plegia is ruined, the god to whom the theocracy was devoted killed. "What we need is to restore the glory of ancient Altea!" And who better to help them than Chrom, Marth's successor in blood and in spirit?

But Chrom would frown and say no. Of course he's going to help them restore their country to prosperity—or at least to independent, peaceful functioning. But king? Sheesh, that's going too far. Come on guys, you don't really want that. Besides, he's already ruling Ylisse...

Except, he's not ruling it as Exalt. At least, not at first he's not. He forswore the title when he started his rule and in canon he is only official welcomed as Exalt after Grima's defeat. But what if he just... continued to not accept it. It's not like he ever wanted to be Exalt. He only has the right to rule because Emmeryn died—because he failed to protect her. It has nothing to do with any of his successes.

But if the Plegians made him their king, then it would be because of his own accomplishments.

And in a way I also can't help but find it heartwarming, because it was the Plegian people who got him to truly understand Emmeryn's ideals. He wanted peace, he wanted to follow her path, but it wasn't until the Plegians took her sacrifice for the peace offer it was and refused to continue fighting Ylisse that Chrom was finally able to comprehend what it meant that Emmeryn believed that all people wanted the same thing, that peace is something for everyone and not just purehearted saints like her who would never hurt a fly. So wouldn't it be sweet to expand on that existing connection? For the people who once bore a grudge against him and his nation to say, actually, our home is your home and you belong with us... For Chrom to reach back and decide that these are his people and that he will protect them...

Especially because that's what he's always done for Robin. Your father doesn't get to determine your path for you, your past doesn't dictate your future, you always have a place beside me because we are two halves of a greater whole. This AU is definitely a chrobin AU, because when Robin gets back I want them to rule at his side (after all, I do have feelings about Grima's loyalty to a people who have been praying to them to end their suffering for a thousand years).

Now, I do think that Chrom would never leave Ylisse while little Lucina was still growing up, but... Honestly it would probably take quite some time to establish a castle for Plegia's new ruler anyway (especially if they go super hard on the Altean revival theme and want it to be IN former Altean territory, which has become the "border wastes" and undoubtedly needs some help... But EVERYWHERE in Plegia needs help, so what better time to give the land some attention?) So when Lucina is an adult she can take over as Ylisse's true Exalt, and Chrom can focus his efforts on the other side of the border. I think he'd still be awkward about the whole thing, approaching it like "Well, I guess I'm here if you all still want me..." but Robin's there to give him confidence and the people there are SO excited for their hero to come and live with them and together they all usher in a new era of peace and prosperity as Ylisse and Plegia themselves become like two halves of a greater whole.

[vargaslovinghours]

That TV-Y7 rating is about to get a swift reassessment with that kind of language

[everythingsinred]

trying to make teachers' (global) complaints abt kids theyre supposed to be teaching about "generational politics" and saying stuff like "people always complain about the young generation" is so dismissive and ridiculous. atp yall are being purposefully obtuse. these kids cant read. they cant write. they cant think critically. teachers GLOBALLY are begging parents to care, to no avail. kids dont respect their teachers, they dont respect their schoolwork, they dont respect their education, theyre severely behind across the board. to try and write that entire problem off as "complaining about the young generation" is so dismissive i have no words. obviously its the fault of the kids' parents but we are looking at an entire generation of people who are graduating high school with no skills. these people are joining society and dont know how to think. yall should be furious and instead youre trying to write it off as "hating on gen alpha". please get over yourselves

[bluastro-yellow]

get it Kim has a lot to unpack do you get it

it's imperfect I'll never polish it just take it as it is I should have put aerostatics not airplanes...

[hatsunegoro]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SILLY BOY

Majima art dump!!!

Anyways thank you to the Yakuza creators for making such a delectable man and thank you for my brain being wired just right enough for me to get brain rot over him🫶

[poughkeepsies]

the gay agenda is desentisizing my mom to gay people by showing her 9-1-1 episodes with all the queer characters where she can't help but like them and root for them

[cangse-sanren]

thinking about palm pannakorn jannaloy again. thinking about the island. guns and the permanent marks they left behind on his back, in his back, his leg. naming his bar neungdiao. never calling once. uprooting his entire life again and again and again like waves that can’t escape the coast. slow dancing regardless of how many sets of eyes watch. pouring himself out like he was born to quench the sun’s own flames. the devotion. the grief.

[akkivee]

this height difference is absolutely taking me out LOL

[threnodians]

all thoughts, head full of ✨aventurine✨

+ a bunch of rambling/life updates in the tags, oops

[reyryz]

my parting gift as school starts back up... when i say i have a lot of kagakuro wips i am NOT joking.

[wolf-of-woke-street]

So I'm making a character for a friend's Call of Cthulhu campaign and reading this woke up the TMA sleeper agent in my head

[alltheglowingeyess]

semester is over entering my npc mode of mindlessly consuming and obsessing over various media 🧍🏽‍♀️

[teammatch]

was watching some vevo performance of young volcanoes from 2013 and getting emo like wow i HAVE been listening to this song since high school blah blah blah and then pete says "this song is not not about sex" and that snapped me right out of it lmaooo