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soobadnoonecanstopher · 8 months ago

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Can I Stay? (A Baekhyun Story) Part 22 [FINAL]

Pairing: You x Baekhyun

Rating: M

Word Count: 13.9k

Warnings: toilet humor. Over consumption of alcohol.

Author’s note: Thank you so so so so much for staying with me throughout this story! I can’t believe it’s over. I’ll cry forever.

A romance between two adults with an unspecified age difference between them, an English story that uses the word Noona for lack of another word in English that carries the same feeling, if you don’t like this, then don’t read this story.

Can I Stay? Masterlist

Tag: @his-mochi-cheeks

You stood before the mirror scrutinizing your own reflection for any obvious evidence of this forbidden act you’d just taken part in.

Somewhere within the stall, Baekhyun had been busy with cleaning up and putting himself back together; just as you had done moments earlier. You heard the soft grunts and slightly annoyed grumbles coming from behind that closed door, “—a bathroom — of all places — we aren’t kids hiding from our parents.”

“Uhh…” he called out in a low voice. “I gotta take a piss.” There was just a touch of a slur in his syllables, “you don't mind, do you?” His question was mostly mumbled, but you heard the clank as he lifted the toilet seat; not waiting for your response.

“I think we are well beyond that sort of modesty, Baekhyun.”

“Are we?” You heard the stream hit the water in the bowl. “At least we have that.”

You leaned in closer to the mirror and touched over the dark red spot on your neck; pulling your own hair over the skin in an attempt to hide it.

Whenever you moved, so did your hair and the hickey showed up again. You reached for your small bag, remembering the touch-up makeup you’d brought with you. You tried your best with it, but the spot he’d made with his teeth would be one of his more lasting works. You could practically see all of his frustration from this evening with the teeth marks he’d left in your skin.

The toilet flushed as the stall door pushed open and Baekhyun emerged still zipping up and fastening his belt buckle.

“You know, I have a key to the penthouse in my pocket right now but you wanted to fuck dirty in a satellite bathroom on the third floor.” You heard hints of sarcasm. He was washing his hands. He was lifting his collar and tying his necktie, looking into the mirror as he re-did everything your filthy rendezvous had undone. His fingers flew up to the top of his head and he coiffed his remarkably still perfectly styled brown hair.

You rested a hip against the bathroom countertop and leaned your head against the wall beside the light switch, feeling just a tad dizzy from the copious amounts of alcohol you still had in your system but doing your best to focus on the many clues about something this man was haphazardly tossing in your direction.

You were having a bit of trouble gauging his mood. He seemed to be acting just a little bit prickly. It didn't feel like he was just drunk, this was something else. Leftover frustrations from being teased all night perhaps? A side effect from the three-hour boner? Was this pampered prince too good for kinky bathroom sex? As far as bathrooms went, this was a pretty nice one. There were warmed, rolled-up hand towels in wooden trays from IKEA, tasteful art hung on the walls, and on the other end, faceted mirrors lined the wall there that had given you a multi-angle view of what you looked like being fucked by your secret boyfriend. There was some sort of a fragrance that was released on a timer up in the corner. You’d heard the device squirt at least once while you’d been in here and now it didn't even smell like sex anymore. And it wasn’t as if you’d dragged him in here. He walked over here himself. Hell, he probably sprinted.

You watched his pretty side profile in silence as he did things like run a fingertip over his eyelid; wiping something imaginary there, or run his hand below his pouty pink bottom lip all while looking into the mirror at his own stunning reflection.

His eyes were blinking and he was not making any grand gestures or rushed movements in your direction and after a few breaths in and out and after a few more, quite excessive smoothing motions with the palms of his hands over his already neatly tucked shirt, he moved again to tug at his belt buckle, then moved his fingertips toward his own necktie that he pulled with an artists precision into about as straight a line as humanly possible and you were watching him with a building sensation that this man was, very obviously bothered by something you had, or hadn’t done.

”Baekhyun?” you said with all of your remaining unasked questions flipping up the inflection at the end of his name.

He inhaled a breath and only looked into his own eyes, blinking them slowly once. Then twice. On this third blink his eyes opened and his eyelids fluttered just enough to show you how much he was holding himself in a carefully barely controlled state. He was deliberate with it — with making a point to avoid your eyes entirely.

This pretty man had settled himself into a fit.

You were sure it wasn’t the sex from earlier. The sex had been amazing. He had liked it, you were sure of it by his giddy excitement at having his very own sex tape saved into a secret, password protected folder in his phone. He’d even made it a point to disable any sort of cloud back-ups that might have inadvertently saved it anywhere else. He’d gone through big gestures of saving yours in the same way. Double locked and very strong password protected. Some acronym of some code sentence he’d made up on the spot and you hoped to God you’d both still be able to remember it when you sobered up.

No, no, this was something else; something you simply could not ignore and from beside him on the countertop you could see the occasional notification popping up on his cell phone screen. It had been placed on silent but it was very much alive and very active. From where you stood, you could see the occasional pop-up message telling him he had been receiving text messages and they seemed to come one after another in rapid succession. Some even at the same time.

You pushed away from the counter and took a few steps; feeling either too drunk or too entitled to look away from his phone screen and in the mirror you caught the movement of his eyes as he watched you approach his phone. It was very active. You saw names popping up again and again. Summaries of text messages filled with laughter and images displayed in tiny thumbnails.

“What is all that?” You peered down at it and heard a slow sigh come from deep within your boyfriend’s chest.

“Group chat,”he said as he reached a finger out and touched his phone screen, “the guys,” not bothering to move the phone away from you or conceal it in any way; instead, he was reaching out unlock it, to bring it to the forefront of your vision so show you everything and to bring all of this nonsense up for you to see. “They’re making jokes and memes…to tease me…about you.”

The chat moved quickly. Tons of laughter and childish ribbing at his expense. An occasional picture with words written on it. You saw an image of a weeping man pulled deep down into the throes of despair coupled with some words embedded in the picture about a high-five from the love of your life followed by more raucous laughter from several people who all talked at once. An occasional question directed right to Baekhyun asking about where he even disappeared to. Someone saying he was off crying in a corner. One more noticing that you had vanished as well and you crossed your arms over your chest knowing deep down that the longer you both stayed gone at the same time, the more suspicions amongst your friends and co-workers would grow.

There was no more delaying it. You both knew it. This desperate need you both had succumbed to had been temporarily satisfied and unless you wanted those suspicions to become rumors and those rumors to be backed up with coincidences or worse, facts you both needed to come up with your next move so you could rejoin the others at the party and it really needed to happen sooner rather than later.

Something about his quiet observation of your face and the way he kept his tongue motionless well inside of his closed up mouth despite the half blinking you saw in his eyes and the way his eyebrows twitched up on his forehead had you hesitating to say what really needed to be said.

We should get back to the party.

We’ve been gone for too long.

Someone might notice.

Someone might find out about us.

Instead of speaking you cleared your throat and grabbed your bag, taking one step away from where he stood; one step that brought you closer to the door and further from him.

He didn't say anything but his eyes watched you and oh there was a darkness that grew inside of them.

Why couldn't you just speak to him? Something shameful and dirty had a hold of your tongue and you could feel a growing guilty feeling beginning to take your mood with the words of your plan for escape sitting on the very tip of your tongue refusing to come out.

You couldn't just leave him here. After bringing him in here to fuck and then leaving him behind once you’d been satisfied. It felt so far beneath you to do; not to him. Not with that silent pout you saw on his face the further your feet moved you away from him, the more it grew.

You couldn't stand it.

You spun around, facing him once again and his eyes widened marginally when you took another step toward him, reaching your hand up to reach around his shoulder you placed a palm over the back of his neck, pulling him into you as you leaned into him.

You kissed him. You pressed your lips over his and you let your lips part into his mouth as you kissed him without any hesitations or reservations, you kissed him.

He kissed you. He pulled you into his mouth and took a step into you, molding himself into the feeling and the shape of all of you until both of his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and you were pulled into his chest; into his firmness; into his open mouth. Baekhyun kissed you back deeply and he kissed you back slowly.

All the while you hoped and wished that your lips and the warmth from your touch might soothe every worry that had tried to take hold inside of his bothered chest. You wished he could have been so easily soothed with a few kisses, a few touches, a few reassurances.

He pulled away from you first and with his lips pulled tightly in between his teeth he inhaled a slow breath well into his lungs through his nose.

His forehead rested against your own and his arms still tightly encircled your waist, holding you here with him for a few moments before the itchy question that had been bubbling beneath the surface of him finally broke free. You heard the inhale before he spoke.

“How much longer do I have to be your secret? I hate it so much.”

Of course this was it. You’d had a feeling this was coming. He’d given you hints that he didn't really enjoy all of the hiding and scheming to keep your many sins under wraps. Even his unrestrained delight to find out you’d so easily throw away years of your career just for the chance of staying with him forever had told you that this man was not the type willing to keep his love hidden for very much longer.

You moved your hands over the back of his neck, threading your fingertips into his hair and you closed your eyes, steadying the rush of nerves that spiked at the very thought of the others finding out about the two of you.

“Soon. We won’t have to hide for much longer. I promise,” you spoke through a whisper and you felt the tip of his nose brush over your cheekbone before his soft lips pressed kisses into the softness of your cheek.

“Just not…tonight. Not when we’ve both been drinking and we disappeared together for so long.” You felt the pull of his lips against your skin. It was a smile. You felt the wetness of his teeth as he smiled. “It would be so obvious what we’ve been doing,” you complained.

“Soon, when?” He asked with a whine. There was a playfulness in his words that wasn't there before; before you gave in and promised him this all would be over soon.

“Monday. Monday we can ride to work together and you can drop me off on your way up to your new office. We can even hold hands if you want to.”

”Super early on Monday morning before anyone else gets there?” There was a petulance in his voice as he continued the sulking act. He knew you well enough to know that you always arrived well before any others from your team and probably before anyone else on the entire floor did. Lately though, with him occupying your heart and your bed until the very last minute, you’d tended toward wandering in later and later.

“We could sleep in a little. Maybe stop for coffee first. We could be a little late.” The alcohol really seemed to be doing a number on you. As you daydreamed of what might possibly come on Monday morning you couldn't fight the giddy feeling building up inside of your chest. Baekhyun had pulled his face back so he could look into your eyes as you told him so many of the sweet promises he’d wanted to hear.

“What if I kiss you goodbye at your office door and leave you behind to answer all of their questions?” He was giggling. It felt manic. His kind of happiness was the most contagious kind. The trembling in his chest shook you and made your own laughter break free. This feeling was more than intoxication. It was a new kind of hopeful happiness that you wished would never end.

“Monday,” he said after a while and on his lips he wore the sweetest smile with his pretty pink lips pulled tight and his eyes curved. “It’s only four days. I can act pathetic and lonely and single for four more days. If that’s what I must do—”

His words were cut off by the steady hum of a phone on vibrate that was ringing. You heard the sound echoing out inside the tiny room and both of your heads turned toward the sound of the buzzing on top of the bathroom countertop. He dropped his hands from around you and reached for the phone holding it up to his face for a few milliseconds to read the name on the screen.

He was pressing something and holding it up to his ear as he angled his torso away from you, at the same time holding his index finger up to his lips to let you know that you should not speak if you wanted the secret of this relationship to remain intact.

“Yeah, what?” He said into the phone with a gruff, put-out tone. You could hear the sound of another voice on the line, a man who’s intonation sounded like he was asking a question. The casual, super familiar tone you heard from both men told you this was a close friend of his. The finger he shushed you with told you that it might be one of the close friends sitting out there at the tables near the dance floor. One of the members of the teasing group chat who hadn’t stopped flooding his phone with messages since you’d given him that co-worker worthy, platonic high five.

“I’m taking a shit, why? What do you want?” He angrily barked into the phone and you swallowed the surprised hiccup that caught you off guard with his insane choice of an excuse for his absence. You had to lay a hand over your mouth to keep yourself silent through the shock and you’d just barely moved fast enough, thankfully, to keep yourself from being heard by his caller.

Your eyes were wide on him and you felt it then, again, just as you had genuinely felt it while you watched him with that rowdy group of young men earlier. The sudden and genuine shock at this version of Baekhyun that you honestly had no idea even existed until you’d witnessed him interacting with his friends had you questioning everything you had thought about him until now.

He was listening to his friend talking; nodding his head every once in a while. Silently agreeing to something without using his words. Maybe he was too drunk to realize the person on the other end of the line couldn't actually see him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Baekhyun had taken two steps further into the bathroom and pushed the bathroom stall door open. He noisily flushed the toilet and moved to the sink to turn on the faucet, pulling the phone down from his ear and waving it next to the sound of the running water for full effect.

He’d hung up the call and turned off the water before looking up into your surprised face with a passive expression on his face.

You watched him in silence for a few breaths before his eyes glanced emptily around the room a few times as if to question what your curious reaction was all about.

You shook your head back and forth before you spoke. “Who even are you?” Your brows were furrowed and you looked directly into his brown eyes as you asked the genuine question. You were honestly very curious about what sort of new surprises you would learn about this crazy man in the future.

You heard him scoff and he lifted his hands in front of him, palms up as his eyes looked between the two.

“I am a single, lonely, pathetic loser who has just given himself a killer fucking alibi for where he has been for the past half-hour.” He said this with his chin pointed toward his right hand. Clearly indicating the side he represented. When his focus shifted to the other hand which he held out in your direction he nodded in your direction before he spoke with a single lifted eyebrow above one eye.

“Where have you been for the past half-hour?”

This silly man believed himself to be too clever for his own good. You shrugged and scoffed with a quick and dismissive eye roll. You would show him how to craft a perfect alibi while also keeping your dignity intact.

“Darling, I am drunk and this place is huge. I got lost.” It sounded so simple because it was simple. It was also plausible, as out of character as your drunken behavior had already been so far… You pulled your cell phone out and opened the group chat with a few of your favorite coworkers and teammates and you quickly typed out a text message, ignoring any typos you saw your impaired fingers produce.

“I thought the [arty was on the 5th floor I’ve been up n down this hotel so many times. did they move the party????? someone help meee :(“

You showed him the message and nearly instantly, and as if on cue, the replies began to pour in.

“Omggggg ma’am lmao”

“lololol miss manager is lost”

“search party for mis manger nobody has any more fun till we find her”

“She’s so cute drunk”

“Third floor! We are on the third floor!!”

“Stay where you are I’ll come save you”

You looked up into Baekhyun’s shocked face and your lips pulled into a self satisfied smile.

“You are so cute drunk. Who is the one who said that? Is it a guy? Dani sounds like a guy.”

His pointy fingertip was touching your screen as he tried to scroll back up and get closer look at the names and pictures of the people in this group chat and you specifically did not dignify his silly questions with an answer. Instead you locked your phone and put it back inside of your bag; turning your back on him, you raised a hand to unlock the bathroom door.

You poked your head out first. The coast was clear and in the far off distance you could hear the thump thump thump of the party that was still going on. “You go right and I’ll go left?” you asked behind you.

Baekhyun’s head poked out beside you, just over your shoulder and he turned his head quickly to the right and to the left, scanning the area for witnesses. You had already done this part. He didn’t need to also do this part.

“If you go left, you’ll get even more lost.” He said in a serious voice and you felt him give you a solid push through the doorway at the same time as he reached down and grabbed ahold of your hand. He started walking toward the right, pulling you along with him.

“Baekhyun,” you whispered from behind him, wiggling your hand to try and get him to release the tight grip, “Baekhyun, I wasn’t really lost.”

You pulled back against him harder, and stopped your feet from moving forward, “Baekhyun, that was a lie, remember?” It took some urging but he eventually felt your resistance and turned back around to look at you. There was a sudden change in his face as he closed up his eyes and threw his head back. His lips pulled into a wide and beautiful smile and he had a moment of realization.

“Oh shit, that’s right,” he laughed hard and pulled his hand over his belly as he did it.

Oh no.

Ohhhh no.

This man was not in his right mind right now.

”Baekhyun,” you urged in a more serious tone, trying your best to keep all hints of amusement off of your face. You could feel your own smile fighting you. He was so drunk and he was so adorable, “Baekhyun, not tonight. Not tonight, okay? Monday. Remember?”

You pulled your hand out of his and he looked down at his own empty hand with a small frown before he nodded his head up and down twice.

“Not tonight,” he repeated, showing you that he was here now and he fully understood what you were telling him. Until his eyes found yours again and he inhaled a quick breath to speak again.

“Tonight!” he said excitedly and his lips were parted and your stomach dropped as you flattened your lips and closed your eyes in frustration.

“Not tonight.” You said feebly but he was excitedly tapping you on the arm. Clearly worked up enough about something to be having trouble getting the words out in order.

“No, no. I know. Not tonight for that. Not that, but tonight — tonight, my friends, the guys, my boys,” he was moving as he gestured with both hands as if they held onto something in the empty space in front of him, “and your girls,” he moved his hands to hold onto the emptiness on the other side, “my boys and your girls,” his face dropped and he lifted an eyebrow, “are having an after party tonight. Tonight, tonight.” He lifted a hand and pointed his finger downward.

Clearly his words weren’t fully cooperating with him and he’d resorted to using his hands and arms to pantomime his meaning. It worked though. You followed wherever his hands moved and you relaxed with the faith that he would behave himself just enough to keep things under wraps until Monday. He was also very excited about whatever he was trying his best to tell you about right now.

With one hand he reached out wide to the side and he closed his eyes up and shook his head. “After-party,” he said, “round two,” he lifted two fingers up with his eyes still closed.

”My party,” he placed his palm flat on his chest and swayed on his feet, “my going away party — Junmyeon said your girls told him. My boys have been invited. We are all going — tonight.”

“They are,” he lifted both hands and intertwined his fingers in front of his face, “they are all together now.”

After he finally got the entire message out he giggled quietly to himself.

“Woooo,” he breathed through his mouth, making a little sound as he did it, “I’m drunk — hitting me now. Fucking tequila.”

He smiled that breathtaking smile right at you before he turned and left. You noticed he took a right turn at one of the hallways ahead of you and you were thankful that in his drunken mind he knew the layout of this hotel enough to be able to find a different route back to the party.

You counted to twenty inside of your head before you took the first step and it only took you a few moments before someone grabbed you by the arm, linking a warm elbow within yours with a cheerful smile on her face. There was another girl on the other side, equally as warm. These were your people.

“We found her!” They both cheered in unison toward a much larger group of people who all lingered on the outskirts of the now, winding down party. “Round two! Round Two!” A noisy chorus rang out and you were not once let go of someone’s tight grip on you as you were steered quite deliberately out of this hotel ballroom, into an elevator that moved down to the street level and out of this building entirely.

From the murmuring around you, you gathered that Baekhyun’s cousin owned a swanky bar up the street; easily within walking distance. Spirits were high and the group of people was larger than you thought would be able to fit inside of a single bar. Worries were hushed and Baekhyun assured everyone that he texted his cousin and the bar was completely ours for the rest of the night. There would be food and alcohol and music and even, “An open mic should anyone wish to serenade someone special,” one of Baekhyun’s noisier friends said with a dramatic wink of his eye that earned him a hard smack on the back.

You had no idea who anyone was. There were just so many of them. You did hear someone calling one of them Junmyeon and you knew this had to be the one who had called Baekhyun earlier. There was also a Minseok who was shockingly pretty for a man, and Jongdae who was the loudest of all of them. If you had thought Baehyun’s best friend Chanyeol had been loud, apparently you just hadn’t heard Jongdae’s volume yet. There were some others who were much quieter, and one with striking, large, very expressive eyes who hadn’t said a single word since you’d seen him. He did give you a sweet smile and a little nod of his head which put you at ease. You were certain he was a delight on his own, but with this group, he probably just couldn't be bothered with competing against the other very loud, very chatty members of the group.

Swanky seemed like not a grand enough word to describe this place. The word “bar” was such a vast understatement it hardly even deserved to be used at all. This place was the highest of high end; the kind of place without a name on the door, without a listed phone number; with a strict clientele of only the city’s most elite visitors. You were sure most of the people who walked by that door on the street level had no idea what kind of beauty and opulence lay just inside. They would never know either.

The moment you stepped inside the fragrance, the lighting, the shimmer and glimmer and the air even, all enveloped your body entirely in what could only be described as the kind of warmth you feel coating your skin when you slip into a hot bathtub. It was like slipping out of your bra and restrictive loathing and slipping on a silk nightgown that expensive smooth fabric that glides against your skin.

You were all ushered toward a large table and one by one, people sat down. Baekhyun was sidetracked by a beautiful woman who pulled him in for a tight hug. She spoke to him in joyous up close whispers and he replied in kind with giggles and smiles, grabbing his hand and shaking it, giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek. You were unprepared to face the hot surge of jealousy you felt deep inside your chest and you had to look away from this exchange. You focused instead on keeping the sweet smile etched onto your face. Your hands were shaking and your feet moved as if the floor was covered in super glue, but you kept that smile up for long enough for you to find a spot to sit at the big table.

Your just clear enough mind fought very hard against your heart and pulled your legs to sit down in the empty seat between Sandi and Marci before you could linger too long on the empty one beside where Baekhyun was headed, on the opposite side of this enormous table.

You didn’t need to feel the warmth of his body beside you.

You didn’t need to be reminded of how good he smelled.

Dishes of food arrived and fresh drinks were passed around and the small waitstaff was overly attentive and polite. The delicious food did more for your mind than any fake smiles did. You could feel your blood clearing the more you ate and as the food went in, you kept your focus on the food in front of you, on the drinks in front of you, on the company of women that sat on either side of you for long enough to get a handle on it. For just long enough for you to trust yourself enough to look up and across that table at the pair of dark brown eyes that you could feel watching you at this very moment. As he ate, as he laughed, as he talked and joked, as he drank; those eyes always found you. You were right to put some distance between you both.

The air in the room shifted then as the hum of the A/C sounded out suddenly and you felt a slight chill in the air. It was probably because you were sobering up some and the heat from the liquor wasn’t warming you from the inside anymore but you could feel an alarming sensation from below your revealing dress as the chill puckered your skin.

Oh no. Your stickers were long gone. A weird self conscious thought invaded your mind and you pulled out your cell phone to send the quickest discrete text message to your boyfriend. You kept the phone below the table as you did it and you gave it a second before you saw his attention drawn to the phone in his pocket.

His hands moved below the table and you watched the tick of his pupils as he read your message. There was a quick movement of his thumbs and your phone vibrated once, telling you he had responded to your question. He did not look at you at all but was well into a long discussion with the men who sat around him.

“Can you tell that my stickers are gone?”

”yes.”

He answered you so very quickly. He didn't even look up to verify that he could actually see your ice cold nipples poking straight out, ruining the luxurious look of this dress. This wouldn’t do. You rose to your feet and excused yourself for the bathrooms; all the while crossing your arms over your chest as you rubbed hands over your bare forearms in some attempt to warm yourself up. You needed a first hand look in the mirror. Maybe someone had a suit jacket you could borrow. With all of these charming young men surely one of them could sacrifice theirs for a lady with a chill.

You had to walk past his end of the table to get to the bathrooms and you noticed he shifted his weight a bit as soon as you began moving; all while still not looking at you. He continued carrying on with his friends; laughing and joking as if you were of no interest to him at all. If only you could borrow a tiny bit of his self control right now, you might not have been watching him so intensely.

He stood up on his feet the moment you came right up to his side on your journey through the room.

In a swift motion, Baekhyun, stood on his legs and he removed his blue suit jacket, then he turned it around, leaned over to where you stood and placed it right over your shoulders as you walked by and the moment the warmth and the smell of him landed over your back, coating you entirely in the heat you’ve been craving since you walked into this bar, your feet stalled their forward motion and you actually froze in place.

Not him though, the action was smooth as hell. Just as fluidly as his initial surprising movement started, he continued the motion and spun back around in a circle, sitting down seamlessly, effortlessly, and very quickly as if he had never even gotten up in the first place.

But he did. He did get up. He did give you his warm jacket with all of his body heat and scent and he did it right here. He put it on you himself with his own two hands.

And everyone saw him do it.

He did that in this room full of people — people who had been drinking all night, people who knew the both of you, people who, at least half of which, knew of his intense crush on you. The room erupted into a drunken cacophony of hoots and hollers and you could feel the blood rushing straight up your neck and warming the skin of your cheeks.

“Shut up. She was just cold.” You heard his complaints clearly as he was obviously trying his best to quiet down the excitement he had just caused, “You guys are so dumb.”

You forced your feet to move. Gripping the lapel of his jacket tightly around your shoulders you took another step and then another, moving quickly away from the noise and chaos he had just caused, towards the sanctity of that bathroom that you so desperately needed right now.

After a few quiet moments your phone buzzed once.

“Sorry,” was all his text message read.

You opened it and read it but you did not reply. Instead you used the toilet, washed your hands, used your ice cold hands to cool the hot skin on your face as you gave yourself a quietly whispered little pep talk about what you should be doing with your eyes while you were out there. You decided that you would strike up an intense conversation with Sandi about her love life. You would be engrossed enough to hear about her escapades to keep your mind off of the handsome man who sat at the end of that table ignoring you while his very attractive “cousin” or whatever the hell she really was to him, giggled at his jokes and gave him free appetizers, and told him about a girl she was going to set him up on a blind date with and called him Sweetness in a saccharine tone. Did she think she was a southern debutante?

You derailed your own pep talk with the pain you felt in the palm of your hand. You were squeezing down so hard you saw little half moons pressed by your fingernails into your palm.

You took several deep calming breaths. You recognized that you were acting ridiculous. Self awareness is the first step to recovery. You reminded yourself of this mid-calming breath and when you emerged from that bathroom and stepped out into the hallway you noticed that much of that chaos and noise from earlier had settled down. You could hear voices, some excited shouting and some groaning and it sounded like the group had finished dinner and had moved on to some sort of game. Knowing this group, it was likely a drinking game; hence the over the top groaning and cheering.

A quick peek around the corner kept your feet from moving forward because Baekhyun’s chair was empty. Had he left for the bathrooms as well?

Your shameless curiosity drove your legs to move in the other direction because your ears picked up on a familiar voice, just off a corner from where you stood.

It was his voice for sure. He was chatting and there was a word attached to a statement in a woman’s voice that gripped you so tightly to hear it said out loud.

Fiancé

She said the word fiancé.

Only the word and its meaning was skewed and broken because she was speaking to him quite obviously, about someone other than you.

“I saw your fiancé the other day,” she said. You felt a spindly pins and needles sensation slipping up the back of your spine.

He responded in a low voice. You couldn't make out what he said. It was some sort of low, rough tone.

“Oh really? That’s not what I heard.” She replied in a cocky, confident tone and you heard him clear his throat. Was that a nervous, caught sort of throat clearing? Was it annoyed or denial? Your lungs burned and you felt as if there wasn’t enough air to clear the anxious buzzing happening inside of your skull.

Fiancé? You felt a dizzy, sinking feeling inside.

Had Baekhyun been engaged to marry someone? Someone he loved, maybe? You could not help the way your neck craned to get closer and the few steps you took as you closed your eyes, begging to be able to hear what he was saying to her. The sounds of his clear yet quiet voice, at last, broke through the noise.

“last year — bullshit — excuse for a mother — my life is mine — can think whatever they want — drove me to a point — almost gave up — ”

You only got bits of it but from the little you had to work with you could tell right away and with the realization came an instant shame that covered from the over of your head down straight into your chest. This wasn’t something he had chosen. It wasn’t something he wanted any part of. Someone had been forcing him into it. And at some point last year, during his lowest point it seemed, fueled by some personal crisis, triggered and hopeless, desperately awful in every way — he called it all off.

Something so huge had happened in his life during that time and you had no idea about any of it.

You felt an acrid taste in the back of your throat. You took a step back and away from this and quickekend your steps further once you were sure you were out of earshot.

This isn't something you wanted to overhear about him like a sneaky jealous girlfriend who just couldn't stand the idea that every single bit of his mind was occupied only with you. You pulled the suit coat tighter around your shoulders as you moved. You felt dirty and unworthy of the sweet warmth he had given you as you did it. It was an awful feeling; knowing you had overheard something like that; something he likely didn’t want you to know about.

You wanted him to tell you all about his past, no matter how painful it was, but with his own two lips. You wanted him to share his past pain with you just as you would share your own past with him; but only when you both were ready for it and only on each other's terms.

Your stomach ached with the idea of leaving this to fester. Leaving this guilty feeling to sit inside of you without speaking to him about it; without apologize to him for your blatant jealous, shameful eavesdropping.

You had found a small nook just off of that hallway and you stood there chewing on your thumb nail and you waited.

It didn't take very long before you saw the first glimpse of him. He wa heading back to the table and you reached a hand out, touching his arm from where you were hidden inside of your little hole. He actually flinched and yelped out in surprise when you touched him.

“Jesus,” he was holding his chest as he whispered.

“Can I talk to you for a second? Just for a minute, please.” You recognized the serious tone on your own voice and it had you cringing for how ridiculously bad you felt about this. His face shifted instantly. He was overcome with a look of genuine concern and worry and he nodded his head, looked once behind him and made a motion with his hand toward another area of the bar. It was a space just off the kitchens where he led you to and once you followed him back there you found him leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his own chest in a fully protective stance. His eyes were full of worry and you realized that your choice of words, the ‘can we talk’ thing must have sent a jolt of panic through him; as it would have sent through you.

The second you came close enough for his whispered words to reach your ears you saw the small step he took in your direction. He lifted a trembling hand to reach out toward you and on his lips was the beginning of a pleading apology.

“I’m sorry about the jacket — ” he began. You lifted a hand and shook your head to cut him off.

“This isn’t about anything you did. I owe you an apology and I need to say it now or it’s going to destroy me from the inside.”

Your quick words closed up his mouth and his shoulders sagged as he his face ticked to the side in confusion. His didn’t speak but his eyebrows furrowed and you caught the stuttered breath that caught halfway inside his throat as he tried to breath through it.

“I overheard your conversation just now with your cousin. It was not my place to hear it. I was dealing with some imaginary jealousy about how friendly and how familiar you were with her and I heard you two talking and before I could stop myself, I was listening to what you both spoke about. I’m so sorry I did that. It was awful of me to do. I feel as if… that was your private … life .. and if the tables were turned and you had done what I did, I might be upset about it. I’m so sorry, Baekhyun.”

He was motionless throughout your entire confession and apology and when you were done speaking you inhaled a deep breath and held it as you anxiously watched his face for any signs of what he was thinking about what you had done.

You saw a wave of motion move through him and he turned away from you for a moment as his hand ran over the length of his face. When he angled himself back in your direction his brown eyes sat heavy and deep within your own and he looked at you with a pull of his chin upward.

Before he spoke he licked his lips and his face twisted into the smallest grimace.

“You didn’t need to ever tell me that you heard that—” He started speaking. A clear upward inflection in his words that signaled very plainly that he wasn’t finished speaking with this one phrase. You couldn’t help yourself though.

Your nerves had your hands shaking and your voice trembling. “It was wrong of me to list—” you interrupted him but as soon as your words left your lips he raised a hand to stop you from speaking. You knew you were wrong. You knew you were moving out of turn and his quick hand and with the tight way he closed his eyes, instantly stopped your silly tongue from moving any further.

“Stop, please—“ he begged quietly and you bit down on your lips to keep yourself better behaved.

“You— didn’t need to tell me this…you could have gone the rest of our lives never mentioning that you knew this until one day it came up and I told you — I told you how painful it was, how hard it was for me at the time and you could have just pretended not to know and acted so surprised to hear that yes, I was being forced to marry someone I don’t know, against my will, my entire life and future being stolen from me because of disgusting greed and how very fucking close I came to not even existing at all anymore because of that pain—”

“I would have told you about this. Absolutely, and without a doubt, I would have told you everything, but you — you — instead you — instead you have given me honesty. You chose, for me, to be so very gracious and beautifully true to me and save me the years of the indignity of believing something about you that isn’t true.”

“Do you realize how insanely unparalleled you are? Do you have any idea how high of a standard you set?”

“How can I ever compare to you? I think I would have listened and I wouldn’t have even felt guilty about it. I wouldn’t have told you I heard anything. I don’t feel like I deserve you at all, but goddammit I love you so much I feel like I’m going to cry.”

His heavy words pulled your arms down from your chest and they hung lifelessly by your side. You felt pulled in every way, down into this carpeting that covered the floor below your feet. You had to close your eyes and drop your face and you slumped and sagged deep on the inside under the immense weight of all of this.

“You don't have to be so quick to forgive me,” you whispered and you heard the movement in front of you when he took a step. You noticed the shadow of his arms moving around you a second before you felt the warmth of his embrace as he circled himself around you, pulling your shoulders inward with the pressure of his hug; he pulled you firmly into his chest; tucking his face into your hair just over your shoulder and the breathe he inhaled from here trembled and shook.

“There is no part of my life that I want to keep private from you,” he spoke directly into your ear and you stumbled backward with the force of this embrace. “Let’s just think of this as a fortuitous event. Now I don't have to lie to you or come up with some stupid excuse for why I’m too much of a coward to answer my mother’s phone calls.”

“I don't think that’s cowardice, Baekhyun. You don't want to be hurt. Anyone would avoid pain if they can help it.” You could feel the relaxation in his limbs as he loosened the tight hold he had on you. You used this opportunity to lift a hand and lightly tap along his arm, urging him to let you go. The crisis had passed and you were lucid enough to know that this sort of embrace was definitely not something co-workers did, no matter how much they had had to drink that night.

The food you’d both had earlier had really done some wonders for your resolve and self control because he let you go quietly and took a step back, leaning against the wall with his arms firmly crossed but much lower over his chest this time.

This time, it wasn’t to protect his heart from whatever potentially damaging word you might need to tell him. Now he took on a much more relaxed posture that looked almost too casual. He had a slight grin on his lips and his eyes had a bit of mischief that always, always put you on some level of alert. You knew this look. It was never good news.

“So you were jealous,” he said with a little head shake, “of my cousin?” With the second part of his question he sneered and lifted both of his eyebrows with a forced look of disapproval but just enough self serving amusement for you to understand that he was more much more flattered than creeped out by your ill-placed jealousy.

You rolled your eyes and you were certain much of the disgust he should have felt when he thought about a close relative was displayed all over your face. Why did he look so amused by you?

“She’s very touchy — calls you Sweetness — ugh, kisses you on the cheek and hugs you so tight with her,” you motioned with your hands over your own chest, “body pressed all up against you. I couldn't tell if she was actually a close family friend that you just called a cousin who obviously wants to sleep with you, or a real, honest-to-god first cousin.” A new thought occurred and you inhaled to keep going, “ugh, or like one of those fourth cousins, twice removed; the ones that you're legally allowed to marry and make babies with even if it is technically still gross.”

His eyes narrowed, with that smile still firmly planted in place on his lips and he looked up and away from your face. He was silent for a few seconds too long and his eyes trailed up over the top of your head. He was doing some intense thinking. Some genome math. Some heavy generational calculating. You did not like the looks of this.

“Actually, I think she might be like a third cousin, now that you put it that way. Pretty sure, legally, we would be allowed to get married and make tons of babies. The genes are technically far enough apart. It would still be kinda weird though... I mean, for me. I don't know how she would feel about it.”

A sound broke free from deep within your chest. It was a disgusted grunt and you threw your head back and released it from deep within you as you turned around; giving your back to him so you could walk away from this ridiculous man. You ignored the teasing little ‘he-he-hes’ that broke free from his mouth. You were done. You were finished with this conversation, if he was going to admit out loud that technically she wasn’t even close enough of a cousin to be illegal to marry — and how dare he one-up on your reasonable and vague number of babies by making it “tons of babies” — you didn’t want to hear any more. Not only was your jealousy justified, but this man was gross. Not legally gross, but technically gross.

You were walking away. You could hear him calling after you as you did it.

“But hey, I’m young and single right? I’m single and lonely and pathetic for the next four days, right?” The sassy, sarcastically delivered quip stopped you in your tracks and you instantly turned back around, took three quick steps toward him so you could look right into his face. Just so you could see the look in his eyes as he dared to say such a thing. He seemed to physically recoil to see you return so suddenly.

You did not say anything; all you did was look at him but it seemed to elicit a strong reaction from him. His jaw snapped shut and his laughing, teasing expression shifted and turned extremely grave and serious with your unexpected and sudden return.

“I’m sorry. I was kidding. It was a joke.” He said the moment he was able to inhale a breath to speak, he gasped again, “joke — j-joke. Please don't hurt me.” He whispered nervously and you balked at the suggestion that you would dare resort to violence. All you could do was shake your head in disbelief. All you could do was lay a hand over your chest at the audacity of this man and after a few moments of neither of you moving, you simply turned and walked away.

You returned to your seat at the table alone; although, still wearing his blue coat. The color complimented the shimmering sparkle of your pretty dress perfectly and it was warm and it smelled like him. You wiggled into your seat and Sandi and Marci each handed you a drink. One had beer and the other was smaller and had liquor. Were you really up to another round of this?

It didn’t really seem much up to you because another game was starting and you were up. This game was two truths and a lie. If your falsehood was sniffed out you had to drink and if you were safe with your lying skills the rest of the group had to drink. It was pretty cutthroat and the choice of the lie had to be unanimous and made within a 30 second timer. Phones were forbidden, even though these lies and truths were so personal there was no way someone would be able to google for an answer. Still, you were up first and you pondered for a few moments before you spoke. You picked something very safe. ‘I have never been on a rollercoaster. I am in my 30s. My first pet was a fish.’ Nothing risky and nothing incriminating but strangely enough the two options outside of your age had started quite the heated discussion. You smiled cryptically as even Baekhyun seemed genuinely torn between the rollercoaster and the fish option and when the timer on someone’s phone rang out the group scrambled and chose the roller coaster as your lie.

You shrugged and told them your first pet was a puppy and everyone groaned and drank their shots.

The game was fun and the further it progressed the more intense the discussions grew. There was analyzing from all perspectives and the truths and lies grew bolder and harder to believe.

The drinks were being thrown back at record speed and soon enough you felt the familiar buzz of the alcohol coursing through your system. Jongdae’s lie had been that he didn’t know how to tie shoes and there was much shouting as all of the men around him pointed out his perfectly tied shoelaces. Someone else mentioned how they saw him personally tying his daughter’s shoes the other day at the park and he was easily snuffed out. Baekhyun was up next and he lifted his finger to his lips in thought for a moment before he spoke out.

“I have a diplomatic passport. I own the hotel we were just at. I am in love with someone from work.”

The gasps were loud and came from all sides of the table at his scandalous words. Each one seemingly of equal intensity and you did you best to keep your expression neutral as you lifted your beer and took the smallest sip. The bottle in front of your mouth hid the tiny smile you had there and the discussion around the table seemed to be truly torn. All of the men believed the lie was about the hotel. There was much discussion about how much Baekhyun had to travel in his life and how that hotel had no mention of the Byun name on it. The men never even once questioned the phrase about Baekhyun’s work crush.

The women on the other hand seemed to fixate on this one. ‘I’ve never seen him interact with anyone except for Sunny, who he was training so he had to interact with her, and Miss Manager. Who else would it possibly be? He’s just too busy with actual work to be in love with someone. Unless he just never said anything and kept it to himself. I wonder who it is.’

Eventually the men were louder and pushier made their decision stick; doubting Baekhyun’s ownership of the hotel and you had to smile widely simply because you could not stand knowing exactly which was the lie and being powerless to say anything out loud about it. You simply sat here with your beer in your hand, relishing in his little confession hidden within this game.

They were all wrong. You had to take a shot as well and his eyes were on you as you did it. Those lovely eyes shot tiny little hearts in your direction and you hardly even felt the burn of the strong liquor going down your throat.

“The diplomatic passport?” Junmyeon asked Baekhyun noisily, demanding answers and Baekhyun just smiled and looked down into his drink.

“Wait, so you own the hotel? No way.” Marci asked him across the table and Baekhyun nodded his head once and lifted the beer to his lips.

“I don't believe it. They’re all lies. He’s lying about all of them.” Her tone was petulant; made sulkier sounding with the amount of alcohol she had consumed and he leaned over toward Marci with his own cell phone in his hand.

“Marci, look up the number of the hotel. You can watch me type it.”

Marci took the challenge personally and began reading numbers out loud which Baekhyun carefully typed into his phone. On the last number the entry changed to a saved phone number with the name of the hotel and he placed the call on speaker so everyone could hear. The phone rang exactly once before a polite voice answered.

“Mr. Byun, What can we do for you tonight?”

”Sooyoung, can you let me know how many empty rooms we have left tonight? My friends need somewhere to crash after the party. Do we have enough for,” he lifted his hands and counted each head at the table. You ignored it when he skipped you and you hoped to God these drunk people weren’t paying enough attention to notice that neither you, nor he got counted. “Ten more?” He said after counting. A typing sound echoed over the stunned and silenced group and after a few moments the woman returned to the line. “We have enough, Mr. Byun. I will get them ready for your friends. I’ll place the room keys under your name at the front desk, sir.”

He thanked the woman and the table erupted in more of that familiar chaos of cheers and applause. You noticed that Junmyeon (I am a Gemini. I love rabbits. My blood type is A), the man who sat right beside Baekhyun had a puzzled look on his face and he lifted a hand to count the heads at this table, coming back not quite with the same number as Baekhyun had counted and puzzling over it while looking down at his own finger.

“Wait a minute,” Marci called out noisily. “If you own the hotel, and you don't have a diplomatic passport,” she gasped out loud and covered her mouth with wide eyes as the pieces slowly began to fall into place for her, “then who are you in love with from work?”

The attention of the girls was back on Baekhyun, but suddenly the group of men all jeered in her direction, clearly covering for him. “Hey, don't ask that,” someone said admonishingly. “A man’s gotta have some secrets,” someone else said.

“I thought it was pretty obvious already,” Kyungsoo, the quiet man with the big eyes abruptly spoke out in a smooth and low voice that could not have been more unexpected seeing as how he hadn’t said anything at all since his round of two truths and a lie (I like cooking. I have three dogs. I own six pairs of the exact same pants.)

“Let’s play truth or dare then,” Marci spoke up, quite put out with being told to zip it by this group of pushy men when she was clearly way too invested in this love story to let it go. If there was one thing you knew about Marci it was that she loved the gossip. All gossip. Any gossip. She was a sucker for it all. She was in this for the drama.

The of girls all cheered and you braced for the possibility of having to drink a lot more alcohol if you ended up being dared to do anything too risky, or possibly anything at all involving Baekhyun.

The next game was up. Minseok emptied his beer bottle and placed it on its side in the middle of the table and gave it a good spin. Sure this game wasn’t spin the bottle, but everyone liked the randomness of selecting the next victim in this way. As if pulled by some sort of act of fate the first spin landed on you. All at once, everyone’s face turned to look at you expectantly.

“Umm…truth, I guess.” You said, fully prepared to lie through your teeth if you had to.

”Do you know who he is in love with?” Marci wasted no time at all and the entire table erupted in rabid laughter. The laughter from the men’s side of the table was more intense than anything you’d heard from the group yet.

You steeled yourself; put on your best poker face, the one you used during business meetings and negotiations and you shrugged your shoulders with a slightly disappointed frown.

”I do not,” you said. The disappointed groans from all around were intense. Baekhyun’s eyes never left your face, not even for one second and you reached forward and grabbed the bottle to spin.

Tonight was not your night. The bottle landed on Baekhyun.

The noise was deafening and Baekhyun sat there with his eyes closed up tight in defeat with the smallest tense smile on his face.

“Truth or dare, Assistant Byun.” You said. You knew it was your part to ask, being the last one to spin the bottle.

“Truth,” he said, opening his eyes to look into your face.

Your mouth felt too dry and you sipped a little of your beer as you pondered the kind of question you could ask him that would satisfy this insane group of people but wouldn’t give anything away.

“Ask him who he loves. Do it. Do it,” Marci, Sunny, Dani, everyone was begging you to do it. The pressure you felt in this very moment was astounding. You had to inhale a slow and careful breath just to be able to stand this. The only silent one was Sandi beside you and you looked toward her just as she looked away from you.

You received her message. You figure this one out. I’m out of ideas, she said to you with her avoidance. The woman wouldn't even look at you. She was suddenly extremely interested in something she pretended to notice on the drink menu on the table in front of her.

“Umm…Assistant Byun, do you want to tell us who you are in love with?” It was a dirty manager trick. You technically didn’t ask him to answer the question. Anyone who heard this question would see your good intentions as you presented them. You could play ignorance quite easily for the mistake with your words and Baekhyun lifted a single eyebrow and smiled easily. God, he was a pretty man.

“Not really,” he said, clearly answering the question with honesty and satisfying the measure of the truth aspect of the game while still revealing absolutely nothing, thanks to your creative evasion.

The entire table moaned and groaned out loud. Some shouted in your direction, telling you to ask more directly next time and you laughed and gave your easy apologies to satiate this group of absolute drunken maniacs.

Whenever Baekhyun or any of his boys remained in charge of the line of questioning, things went pretty smoothly. They really were a good group of friends who had his back. The first real bit of trouble came when Marci had the spin and her bottle landed on Junmyeon who sat chewing on his fingernails beside a glaring Baekhyun.

“Truth,” she shouted ravenously, “or dare.” She added as an afterthought. She was trying to influence his decision and as his lips formed the letter D you actually heard her growling in his direction.

He caved so easily. A timid, “Truth?” Came from his lips and Marci pounced instantly.

“Who is Baekhyun in love with? I know you know.” Baekhyun was moving fast. He had his hands on the trembling man. The entirety of his side of the table filled with men were holding in their laughter, holding their bellies that hurt from laughing so much, and many of them braced for something to happen. Every single one of them had clearly had too much to drink by now. They would all suffer dearly for the over indulgence tomorrow, but tonight was just too much fun to stop now.

Junmyeon’s eyes went wide with terror and Baekhyun had lifted a hand to lay over the back of Junmyeon’s neck. You thought he might even be gripping tightly into his neck where no one could see.

”You’re thirsty, aren’t you.” Baekhyun lifted a shot of liquor up to Junmyeon’s lips and Junmyeon nodded his head and quickly and quietly swallowed the alcohol that Baekhyun poured into his mouth.

Beside them both, Jongdae was down on the floor laughing and wheezing through the tears that fell from his eyes.

You couldn't help your own laughter. The evening had progressed to such a point and so many near disaster moments had been carefully avoided you found yourself laughing just as much as the rest of them. Your cheeks were sore and your belly was sore and Junmyeon was spinning now. His bottle landed on Marci and everyone screamed out loud in agony recognizing that the cycle was never ending.

Marci was too determined, as were the other girls who had joined in this quest to uncover Baekhyun’s truth even if they had to sell their souls to do it. Theories began to be thrown around. It had to be someone here. Otherwise those men wouldn't have been so protective of Baekhyun and his secret. The girls were on fire; eyeing everyone else suspiciously on your side of the table and the next major crisis hit when Sunny’s spin landed on the aloof and very exhausted Kyungsoo. He had already had so much to drink and you could see the fatigue with all of this on his face.

In his best attempt at it, he picked dare.

“I dare you to whisper into my ear, the name of the person Baekhyun is in love with.”

The table had gone silent. These men knew the threat that they suddenly faced and Baekhyun’s eyes watched his friend with genuine worry. He blinked quickly and you heard the smallest plea, “Kyungsoo,” he said quietly.

You had some sort of an idea about this man. If anyone could stand up to Baekhyun and the rest of these men, it was probably Kyungsoo. He had a quiet sort of authority that you didn’t think many people would question. It wasn’t that he was unkind toward his friend. The man simply had a definite limit and had clearly reached it.

”I can’t drink anymore Baekhyun,” His words were very slurred and slowed down. The man stood up and rounded the table to where Sunny sat with an elated smile wide on her face and you watched with your heart in your throat as a whispered exchange happened between the two of them.

Kyungsoo then stood up straight and simply walked back to his seat and sat down.

Sunny though. Sunny’s hands flew up to her mouth to cover her surprised gasp and her wide eyes flew around the table as her entire face turned pink with excitement.

On both of her sides the girls were tapping her, and begging to be let in on the secret. It really did seem as if they knew something concrete with how very stunned they all looked once they had learned of the secret name.

Across the table, Baekhyun stared ahead of himself without any focus.

Everyone was very drunk already. Maybe no one would remember any of this tomorrow.

The group of men had all gone silent and after a few moments of whispering between the girls that pointedly did not land into your ears, a strange silence fell over the room.

“Well?” you said rather unceremoniously and abruptly. You couldn't stand this anymore. The cat was clearly out of the bag and you needed to know exactly what Kyungsoo had told Sunny and what had that girl all flushed and bashful about. You needed to know what you were working with to know how to act about it.

You needed either some damage control, or some denial to be happening right now but none of them were telling you anything. They just looked into each other’s faces and down at the table in front of them.

Your question was ignored. It was very unlike them, but they did it.

It was Kyungsoo’s spin and he grabbed the bottle and gave it a good go. You watched that stupid thing come to a stop pointed right at you and you lifted your eyes to look at the man.

“Truth,” you said before he had a chance to ask. As soon as you spoke, he did too.

“How do you feel about Baekhyun?” When the man said he was tired, he really meant it. He wasted no time. You felt the heat of everyone’s eyes on your face and the longer you sat here with this question hanging in the air above your head the less you really cared that much about what you chose to do. You avoided all of their eyes as you deliberated.

If you answered truthfully, well…

If you drank to avoid the question, well…

You weren’t much for bravery. You grabbed your shot glass and downed the liquor. The moment the glass touched your lips the table exploded. Someone was shaking Baekhyun by the shoulders, pulling him violently back and forth and you could see the laughter on his face.

“She didn’t answer it!” someone shouted excitedly.

“That could also mean she hates him and is just too nice to say it!” someone else shouted with the exact same level of enthusiasm.

You truly began to feel a lot of the same fatigue that Kyungsoo had been complaining about. His head was down on the table now and his eyes were closed. You couldn't be sure he hadn’t passed out right here at the table.

It was your spin and you gave it a good go. It landed on Marci and she looked into your face with her lips pulled up tight in surprise. She gave you the tiniest hiccup as a response and you looked into her face; suddenly very, very tired of playing this game.

“Truth or dare?” You said to her. Her choice did not matter. You would get it out of her either way.

She picked dare and you shrugged, “I dare you to tell me who he is in love with. You can whisper it into my ear if you want.”

Marci looked nervously around the room. No one seemed to have any suggestions or offer her any help and so she just swallowed nervously and leaned into you.

You heard her small inhale up close to your ear before she whispered, “Baekhyun is in love with you.”

The sensation of hearing this whispered into your ear at a time like this, while being closely observed by every single person at this table who knew what you had just been told was like an out-of-body experience.

You were floating up above your body. You could see the top of your head, you watched the nervous way you reached out for your beer and lifted it to take a big drink of it. You could see yourself fidgeting with the napkin underneath the beer, tearing it into tiny pieces with your fingertips and rolling the bits into little logs that you dropped onto the table cloth. This whole setting was a mess and you had been the one to make the mess. Across the table, you saw Baekhyun as he sat there completely motionless with arms crossed tightly over his chest, his posture sagging low in his seat and his eyes watching your face intently. It didn't look like he was breathing.

The entire bar was so quiet you could have whispered and every single person at this table would have heard you.

You inhaled a breath and blinked slowly, pulling your eyes up to look into Baekhyun’s across this table. You still did not feel like you were inside of your own body; making these choices; saying these words. You were not involved in this anymore. This woman who wore your face and sat here in your spot was inhaling to speak and opening her mouth as she prepared her voice to say something.

“Byun Baekhyun,” you said. Ten stunned faces turned away from you and looked at Baekhyun.

“Yes ma’am?” He answered through clenched teeth.

Tiny gasps peppered throughout the group. It was like a tennis match, they were looking at you again. Faces were covered with hands; gaping mouths were hanging open; someone was making a wild whimpering sound and smacking someone next to them in excitement.

“I don't think it’s her turn to ask. Marci is the one who has to spin next.”

“Oh my God, shut the fuck up. Let her speak.”

“What the fuck is happening right now.”

“I am going to pee my pants.”

“Yes ma’am. He said, yes ma’am.”

“She said his fucking name. Let them speak.”

The rules no longer seemed to matter anymore.

Kyungsoo had lifted his head from the table and was watching you too.

“Are you in love with me?” You looked into his brown eyes, doing your very best to keep the tremble out of your hands. You had to shake your head a little bit to clear some of the heavy nerves that suddenly made your mouth go dry and Baekhyun did not answer your question right away.

”I thought you said not tonight.” His muttered response was cryptic and vague enough to bring more confused faces back to watch you for your answer. He was right. You had been the one to make this rule and you were the first one to break it. You’d always been very good at breaking all of your own stupid rules when it came to him.

“Baekhyun, are you in love with me?” The attention was back on him and he lifted both of his hands and rubbed them roughly over the length of his face.

Someone beside him poked him lightly on the arm, whispering something encouraging in his ear. Answer her. Tell her. Say it.

His eyes were closed.

When he inhaled to speak, a single earth-shattering word rang out.

“Yes,” he said.

He spoke it so softly; pulling his eyes back up, opening them and letting them land squarely inside of your eyes. He left the word to linger on his open mouth for a moment before he inhaled another half breath; just enough air for him to speak again.

“Yes, I am. I love you. Desperately.”

No one was moving. No one was breathing. Mouths and eyes hung wide open.

“Holy shit,” someone whispered under their breath. “This is insane,” someone else whispered to the person at their side.

The silence was going on for too long and someone cleared their throat. You hadn’t responded with any words to Baekhyun’s answer to your question and after much too long of everyone sitting shell-shocked it was Kyungsoo who moved first. He reached forward and spun the bottle in the middle of the table and twelve sets of eyes stared down at the spinning thing until it came to a clumsy meandering stop pointed directly at the man who had just shocked the entire room with his love confession to you.

“Baekhyun, I dare you to kiss her.”

The once silent table erupted in commotion again. There was an excited energy surging through every single person at this table and you had to close your eyes to block out the pinkness you saw in his cheeks as his friends all tugged at his sleeve, shook his shoulders, sent urging words deep into his ears with such intense insistence that he finally sighed out loud and asked his friends a simple question.

“Should I?”

Baekhyun was pushing himself away from his seat at the table. He was standing up on his two wobbling legs and he took several large steps in your direction.

Your eyes were wide as you watched him. You felt too surprised to do anything other than watch to see what he would actually do.

You hadn’t expected the speed with which he reached your side and you felt so caught off guard with his sudden close proximity that you stood up the moment he came up to you.

It all happened so quickly. You had stood to face the man who marched up to you and you gasped when you felt his arm slip around the back of your waist. He pulled you into him and you stumbled enough for his coat to fall off of your shoulders and pool down at your feet.

Your balance felt unsteady. You reached for his waist out of habit, out of that familiarity with the shape of this man and the way he fit so perfectly with your body. You wrapped your arms around his waist at the same moment as he reached up with his other hand and cradled your face in the palm of his hand and his eyes were down on your lips.

He leaned into you then. He kissed you. Right here with everyone watching.

He pressed his soft lips into yours and the gasps of shock from all around were drowned out by the loud pounding of your heartbeat inside of your ear drums. He tilted his head into you. You pulled his lips in between yours and you felt the soft wetness of his tongue as he slipped it along the surface of your teeth, biting down lightly on your bottom lip as he pulled away slightly, only to come back into you; deeper this time. Hungrier and more demanding. Definitely not something two people kissing for the very first time did. Definitely not the kind of kiss for a room full of witnesses.

Oh, you felt ablaze with this. You’d forgotten every single rule you’d ever fooled yourself into believing you could follow.

When at last Baekhyun pulled his mouth off of yours, you felt the trembling inside of your chest at this brazen act. Your hands felt shaky, your legs felt like you might drop at any second. You felt your breathing too heavy to settle easily and he rested his forehead over yours as he breathed just as heavily.

Your hand had wandered and you dropped your fingers from where they had threaded into his hair at the nape of his neck. With your bodies pressed up against each other’s and his heavy breaths fanning over your wet lips he opened his eyes and looked into yours and your lips pulled into the smallest smile. This kiss felt like the beginning of something. You felt an overwhelming relief surging through your chest and you watched his own smile slowly manifesting on his face. You leaned into him, placing the smallest kiss on that pretty smile of his. The man giggled softly when you did it.

“Jesus Christ.”

“Byun Baekhyun, you goddamn—”

“The son of a bitch did it.”

“He did it”

“A long time ago from the looks of it”

You had to turn your head away from them all; covering your mouth with a trembling hand you moved and you felt curious movement from his fingertips along your right hand that now hung limp by your waist.

He was lifting your hand. He was pulling at your ring finger there and you turned to look at his actions as he very steadily and carefully removed the diamond engagement ring you’d been wearing on the wrong hand all night.

He held it up in between his thumb and index finger and peered through the hole of the ring before he turned to you with his empty hand raised, palm up asking for you to give him your left hand.

You were out of any bit of resistance. You laughed and lifted your left hand and placed it carefully inside of his and he slipped the ring onto the ring finger of your left hand with the widest, cheekiest, most breathtakingly beautiful smile you’d ever seen.

You responded to that smile with a hopeless laugh of your own and you felt him lifting your left hand up in the air.

“What?!” their voices all shouted.

“They’re getting married?!”

“What is happening?”

“Oh my god I can't believe this”

”You’ve got to be kidding me. Since when???”

”Are you telling me we didn’t know anything about this?”

Chairs had fallen to the floor. Drinks were spilled and dripped messily all over the table and the floor. People were on their feet shouting. Some were screaming. Some were laughing and clapping. First in confusion, then in understanding and acceptance and the place was a thunderstorm of so much commotion that even the staff and chefs had come out from the kitchen to gawk at the strange occurrence that was happening out in their dining room.

“For the record, I knew.” Sandi raised a hand at last and the reactions were mixed. Some demanded to know how she would have dared to keep this big a secret for so long. Others were simply flabbergasted that such a big thing could have happened right under their noses.

Baekhyun was giggling. The unparalleled joy you saw in his face matched the elation you felt inside of your body as you laughed with him. Doing your best to answer whatever questions you could answer as tactfully and respectfully as possible and after much of the chaos and drama had subsided enough for you to manage to get a word in you raised your voice, calling all of their attention again.

“By the way,” you began with a smile as you turned to look into his joyful face.

Your next words sent them into a wild round of cheers and applause.

“You are all invited to the wedding.”

The End.

Thank you for reading. I love you all!

Can I Stay? Masterlist

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo smut #baekhyun #exo fic #exo scenario #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #completed

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transparentkinks · 3 months ago

Text

Hey, we don't talk enough about how a lot of companions are gonna way outlive the player.

Angst and death ahead!

Nick:

Attitude

He doesn't like to think about how long he’s gonna live, and how long she’s gonna live. Never puts him in a good headspace. He just makes sure to stay by her side, keep her out of harm’s way, learn his way around radaway and stimpacks and med-x. She gave him plenty of stress, no doubt, but that was also why he loved her. She was brave. She knew what was right, she kept a level head and stood by those that stood by her. She was skilled enough to rebuild a peace the likes of which the commonwealth hadn’t known in ages. Honestly, it was probably better now. Her settlements were something to behold, and they kept the area around them safe. There was so much food, clean water, people were safe, people had something to fight for, she had taken down anything in her way. She was a one woman nuclear bomb and the commonwealth was never the same.

He realizes sometime later on, that part of him just felt like she’d find a way to live forever. She was brilliant like that, but he also knew that’s something she’d never really pursue. It wasn’t until Nora started showing signs of age that he started looking for ways himself. He found evidence of plenty, none though that let her keep her humanity. He swore to himself he’d stay by her, support her in age and infirmity, she wouldn’t be alone. The looming threat of Nora’s death was something he proffered only to pay mind to while fighting, or while Nora entertained a much too shady quest. Then he used it to protect her, and knowing that he would be there no matter what hairbrained scheme Nora managed to get herself entangled in gave him some measure of peace of mind. Nothing would take her if he had a say in it. Maybe not even death, if that synth to human connection line of research lines up with the research on downloading a human mind.

In the Moment

Realistically, it was probably a delicious dinner. He didn’t eat, but he set himself timers to harass Nora to eat, drink and sleep as she had a tendency to procrastinate all of them. They were not needed tonight. Tonight she wasn’t just Nora, she was Nora, general of the Minutemen. And Nora, general of the Minutemen, was to be meeting with the upper brass of diamond city. No doubt quite annoying for them, seeing as her history placed her as a dirty vault dweller asking questions in the upper stands and eventually finding out the mayor is a secret synth. The fact that she had to meet with them to solidify trade deals they desperately wanted no doubt got under their skin.

Evidently too much, as Nora quickly curled into herself in her seat, clutching her sleeves and shaking. “N-nick?” She sounded scared as he watched a shudder wrack through her.

“Nora, what’s wrong?” Her labored breathing had him pulling her back into him. She seemed to be foaming at the mouth. “No, baby no” he nearly dropped her in his shock, managing instead to cradle her to his chest as he fell to his knees. Her hand twitched up and he grabbed it tight. He’d seen cyanide poisoning before. He knew it hurt. There wouldn’t be enough time to get her a doctor, much less anyone who can treat a poison like this. “Please no.” He begged. Her chest was heaving, but he knew none of it would help her breathe. Her eyes were flitting around the room, unfocused and scared.

“Look at me Nora” He gave her hand a squeeze and her panicked eyes locked onto his glowing gaze. “I got you” He smoothed her hair back, winced at the pained groan falling from her lips. “I love you Nora” and he knew it was likely the last thing she ever heard. He watched the light leave her eyes, her breaths fall short. It happened all too fast.

He looked up around at everyone there, everyone’s reaction to what transpired. He would get to the bottom of this. He’ll find who did this. God help them when he did.

Hancock:

Attitude

Sometimes he wished Nora would turn ghoul. He wondered if that drug he took was really the only hit ever. He didn’t care what she looked like, what the years would do to her, but he would never be ready to lose her. Not her smile, not her will to see the world made better, not her joy or her ability to see the potential good in everything around her.

He always maintained visibility with her in battle. He’d been yelled at more than a few times for taking hits meant for her. He trusted her ability to protect herself, he knew just how incredibly capable she was, but nothing prepared him for the full blown animal panic he felt the first time he saw her go down. He fought like he hadn’t before even to save his life. He hated seeing her hurt, seeing her sick. She of all people deserved a long, healthy, pain-free life. He knew it was too late for the last one, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try to mitigate what he could. As far as he and the decent half of the commonwealth were concerned, she was a saint walking. The idea that he would somehow outlive her felt like a cruel joke.

He didn’t expect to breakdown like he did the first time he found a gray hair on Nora. He didn’t think she even woke up for it, him cradling her head on his chest, trying and failing to calm his hyperventilating with her even, rested breaths. He would make her a synth if he could, bottle her somehow and keep her like this, forever. If it wasn’t her worst nightmare he wondered if he could put her back in a cryo pod, wake her up for the best moments. She would hate it, he knows, but he dreams still, of having her around for every beautiful moment of his life.

He knows he’ll never be ready for it, whether it comes in fifty years or tomorrow. He dreads what he’ll become when she’s gone. He knows she’ll want him to carry on her legacy, watch her settlements and keep people who just want peace safe. He would do it too, he thinks. It could become his singular drive, after her. He knows no matter what, when she’s gone he’ll just feel empty. He prays when she passes it will be peaceful, not scared or afraid or alone. He prays he’ll be there.

When it happens

It was a political grab in the end.

A tribe of raiders who didn’t know how she had restructured the minutemen to withstand her loss, an assassin killed seconds after they struck.

He held her as she fell, cushioned her fall and put pressure on the wound. Packed it with clean cloth from the table that she made possible with her water purifiers and generators and traps and creative ability. It was such a brutal thing though, through the gut and up into the lung. She was supposed to be safe, she was just wearing a cotton dress. It did nothing against buckshot. He screamed for Curie.

“Please baby, stay with me. Hold on, you’ll be okay. You’ll be okay sunshine.” He helped heave her onto the table, helped Curie access the wound, administered the med-x so she wouldn’t hurt, because god his sunshine was gasping.

“She can’t breathe Curie, what do we do?” Curie looked like she wanted to cry, a very grim mask on her face.

“We need to get her on oxygen or I need to get this lead out of her fast and hit her with a super stimpak. We don’t have oxygen.” Curie set to work removing each piece of buckshot, quickly and efficiently and he would never forget how Nora started to wheeze. She thrashed and he knew he had to hold her down when Curie grunted.

“Hold on sunshine, you’ll be okay. Hold on for me.” He brushed her hair back from her forehead, placed a kiss upon it and prayed. He felt a hand on his head, caught a weak hand, laced his fingers with hers. He knew he was crying, he did during every scare, but when he caught that scared, spacy look in her eye he sobbed. “Curie, what’s going on-”

“I just keep finding more!” Curie yelled back at him, pulling out pellet after pellet.

“Fuck, sunshine please. I don’t want a world without you. I love you.” He held their entwined hands to his face, pressed kisses to her fingertips. “Please, please, please” He wasn’t sure who he was begging. Her, god, fate? It was all happening so fast. He wasn’t ready.

She wheezes, this awful hollow sound and he watches her eyes finally focus on him. “John?” She says it so light, so quiet, like a question. He just hoped she wasn’t as scared as she sounded.

“Yeah sunshine, I'm right here. You’re okay.” He gave her hand a squeeze. She started to shake her head. “Please baby, you’re okay.”

“Shawn” she gave the tiniest squeeze to his hand.

“I know baby, he’ll be okay. You know me an’ Curie and Nick and, an’ Codsworth. Ada. Strong. We- we got him. Just please hold on, hold on for me please sunshine.” He was begging at this point. She just tried to shake her head again. “Reserve your strength baby-”

“I- love you-” He hated the hollow, wet change to her voice. Her lovely, clear, beautiful voice.

“I know sunshine.” He cut her off. “I love you too. So much. I will always love you.” She smiled, shook her head at that again. She got this faraway look in her eye. Curie pushed him away, injected the stimpack despite the countless bits of buckshot still within. She began administering CPR. After what felt like ages, Curie crumpled against Nora’s chest. She was shaking, he knew she was crying. He screamed.

Curie:

Attitude

Curie always fretted over Nora’s health. She knew that Nora would age, that she could get hurt. Her own newfound vulnerability was certainly an adjustment when Nora got her a synth body. When she was able to actually feel it, she discovered that Nora’s vulnerability even compared to her, terrified her.

She dedicated a lot of energy to watching Nora’s health when she realized that Nora herself didn’t pay much mind to it. She pestered Nora to eat a balanced diet, refused to move on from a fight without checking her over. When she needed stitches, Curie was the one stitching Nora up. When Nora needed medicine, Curie administered it. If Curie didn’t join Nora on an outing, she was worried until she laid eyes on Nora again. She wouldn’t let Nora settle in until she was certain Nora didn’t need treatment.

The few times she saw Nora hurt, Curie felt more than she ever had in her life. She couldn’t focus on anything beyond healing Nora. She only really yelled if Nora was hurt and Curie was scared for her. If her and Nora fought, it was about the carelessness with which Nora dived into situations or her willingness to brush off an injury. The one time Curie ever yelled at Nora was when Nora insisted that the best plan of action for her bullet wound was to ‘walk it off’.

Curie realized that realistically, she would far outlive Nora. Just like she outlived her researchers. She wouldn’t be alone, sure. Nora entrusted her with the long term guardianship of Shawn. She liked being a parental figure to him. They were both adjusting to synth life together, but she could still see so much of Nora in him. He felt like their son. Still, she knew she’d never be ready to say goodbye to Nora. Nora made her feel like she could understand being alive. She made her want to feel. She dreaded the day she’d have to say goodbye. All she could do was protect, care for, and cherish Nora while she had her.

When it happens.

Curie wasn’t ready. She was not ready to watch Nora deteriorate. Cancer was an inevitability for many in the fallout riddled wasteland. She just wished it wasn’t Nora’s fate. Curie had dove into her research, but there was no safe way to treat it any more. By the time Curie found a way to potentially attack the cancer it had already reached her lymph nodes.

Curie and her friends had to hide their grief from Nora. They tried as best they could. Nora tried her best to stay upbeat through it all, shut down conversations about grief and dying. Pushed herself through dinners and parties and a few final speeches to the Minutemen. Gave her opinions as to potential succession. She started a journal, sitting for hours into the night writing down every useful piece of information she knew. Accounts of her life before the bombs, details of politics and culture. What poems she could remember, songs she loved, recipes and life tips, how-to guides and blueprints. She restructured what she could, Curie didn’t quite know how to break the news to Nora, but she seemed to know even before Curie told her. Nora set to work the moment she felt herself waver. She restructured everything about her settlements, built methods for local leadership and transfer of power and communication between settlements. Nora made sure that her radio system was robust.

Curie hated all of it. The way Nora knew, the way she comforted her when she was telling Nora that she wouldn’t make it. The way she became unhurried, content to linger in moments. No more of that fire to act like she would never have enough time to do what she wanted. Now that Nora knew it was coming, she slowed down. She tried to hide it, but Curie knew Nora was so tired. She wouldn’t stop, but Curie knew she was slowing down to savor it. Like she wanted to remember what was happening.

She hated it even more when it became clear Nora was hiding that it hurt. Curie and her friend group had to practically fight her to get her to rest. The last fight they ever had, Curie was sobbing, begging Nora to tell her what hurt, let her take care of her, stop pushing herself. Nora hated seeing Curie cry. The fight ended with Nora acquiescing, finally letting Curie take care of her, letting herself rest. It always took a bit of prodding to get an assessment of Nora’s pain, even more so to get her to accept pain relief.

Curie found herself praying for one more day. Every night, when it looked like her love was wilting in front of her. Curie prayed for just one more day, found herself counting Nora’s breaths into the night. She found herself fearing this sleep she now needed, worried she’d awaken one morning to the love of her life cold beside her. She began staying up late into the night, holding Nora afraid of the moment her breathing would stop.

The night Nora passed was a painful one. Curie hadn’t left her bedside the whole day. Nora looked so tired, grimaced at just the idea of trying to move. Shawn was scared of visiting her now, had spent that morning crying into Nora’s lap, letting her run tired fingers through his hair and tell him that he would be okay, that she loves him, that he would never be alone, that he was always going to be her son.

All of Nora’s friends were there, helping Curie and Shawn watch over Nora. They were desperate to talk to her, say their goodbyes without actually saying goodbye. As always they cringed through her morbid jokes at her own expense. No one wanted to point out to Nora that they weren't funny, that no one actually benefited from her death and no one was laughing at her new condition.

That day Nora had more energy than normal. Fought Curie a little more about her med-x. Didn’t settle as much when Curie held her that morning. Held long conversations with each of her friends, refused to eat, if not occupied with conversation then with a book or writing. Nora and her friends felt hopeful about how she felt that night, but Curie knew otherwise. She tried not to cry. Prayed more than ever in her life for just one more day. One more day with her, please.

The room was dark and quiet, just her and Nora. Curie held her that night, told her again how she loved her, despite her protests administering her nightly dose of painkillers because she could tell from the tightness in Nora’s limbs that she hurt. She counted Nora’s breaths as she drifted off to sleep, stroked her hair. She had nearly passed out herself when she heard what she always feared. She was shaking when she felt Nora’s breathing stop. She tried to resuscitate her. Begged for Nora to come back to her. Fought to keep her heart beating. She knew she was gone.

She was not ready to be alone.

Charon:

Attitude

Charon was willing to do a lot for Lone. Kill for her. Live for her. Die for her. She bought him, freed him, walked with him to help him realize he was free. She made him feel human again.

There was a time, before he realized what she had done, when he wouldn’t have cared if she died. He’d seen plenty of peppy young things ground down by the wasteland, put a good few down himself. He expected to have his work cut out for him, taking care of this foolish waif of a girl. Even more so when she immediately tried to tear up the contract and “Declare him free and no longer bound to it”. She actually looked like she feared him when he explained what he was meant to do at the destruction of his contract.

Instead, she proved wildly capable, scarily adaptable. She took action without hesitation, and while he wished she would think before diving into other people’s problems he could never deny that she was brave. She was a crackshot, and there were times when she shot down every threat with her pistol before he even got a shot off.

More often than not, she cared for him. Insisted he slept and ate, paid him money he found little use for considering she made sure he had a bed and food, and told him to fuck off on his apparently “mandatory breaks”. She wouldn’t let him go off with an injury, yelled at him when he got hurt and didn’t tell her. The only time they ever ordered him to do anything, was when they told him to run when the enclave came after them and the G.E.C.K. He spent a good time back in the underworld wondering why he felt so scared for this master, why he kept glancing at the door waiting for their crazy unkillable self to stumble through the door and drag him back out into some ill-planned charity scheme. Why instead of apathy or amusement he felt dread at the idea she wouldn't make it back.

He got his answer when he watched them walk into the water purifier. She walked into the same room where she watched her father die, didn’t even look back at her friends behind her. He knew all she needed to hear was “Lives are on the line”. He tried to stop her, but she was always fast. He hated the way her whole body shook and swayed from the radiation coursing through her as she tried to type in the code.

It was an answer he was slow to come to, waiting by the side of her bed. He thought she was a good person, better than any he had ever met. He thought she shouldn't have to do the things that she does. He thought the whole wasteland owed her a whole lot, himself included. He was free, he had realized over that bed. She was too clever to let him be anything but free, even when he could only imagine servitude. In a way he appreciated his role, not much before when people used him like a tool; but now, Lone showed him he was simply a man, and a skilled one at that. Poked and prodded and teased the humanity out of him, she insisted he deserved respect.

He followed this woman because he wanted to. He couldn’t think of wanting to spend time with anyone else. He loved hearing her talk, watching her work. He actually enjoyed talking when it was with her, even if he remained ever taciturn. He couldn’t imagine wanting to protect anyone else.

He realized he relished the work. She did good things, brought him to help her do good things. Protecting her, it felt like a good thing. Not erasing, but evening the score of the things he has done. It felt like repentance. Whatever this woman decided she would do, he knew he wanted to be there to help her. He was free and his heart belonged to this woman because he gave it to her. It was not fear for himself and his future that caused his worry, there would be no masters after her. No, he loved her. And he did not want to live in a world without her.

The panic that overtook him when he realized that fact was unlike anything he felt in decades. Here he was, with a love like a chain around Lone’s neck praying this wasn’t her deathbed, and nothing he could do. He didn’t think he was ever religious, but he started praying to something that night.

She recovered, and he had to practically fight her to get her to rest instead of springing back into action. He tried hard to hide his newfound realization, but of course she noticed. He was talking more, speaking before he could even think. Pushing her not to take risks, to stay safe. Going out of his way to take bullets meant for her. He started telling her that she did enough, that she doesn't need to play hero, that she should stay safe and enjoy the relative safety she helped make. Of course she asked him what was up, offered him his contract again.

It was hard explaining that he wanted to serve her, wanted to stay with her. Her inquisitive self pried out all the little secrets in his heart and was delighted at what she found. She accepted him wholeheartedly, despite the social stigma that came from it. She loved him, started to fight for him. She became more ferocious in her campaign to ensure those around her respected him and those like him. Wore the target that came with that like a badge of honor, sent those that challenged her off either with their tail between their legs or one extra hole in their body. He became desperate to protect her. Anyone who wanted to so much as talk to her would have to go through him if he had any say about it. Disrespect, threats, towards her he would never tolerate. If she would try to protect him with her ferocity, he would protect her with every ounce of animosity in his soul.

He took joy in being able to protect her, being the person she would lean on when life got hard. For the first time in as long as he can remember his life, his efforts had meaning. The paths she chose were good, she time and again fought to help people; ghouls even, people she didn’t know. She cared if they were getting enough food and water, cared to build communities, cared enough to forgive things he personally found unforgivable. If anything he did could protect or support her, if it could bring her joy, it was worthwhile.

How this undeniable good, loving, beautiful person could stand to love him, choose to fight for him he would never understand. He was something twisted and bent to serve a violent purpose, but if she would make him more, then his bloody talents would be hers without question. He found himself often musing over if there’s really anything he wouldn’t do for her, amusement only. She wouldn’t order him to do anything to save her life, just to save his. She was too good for this world, caught that idealism from her parents like a chronic disease. They’d both watched her father burn for it. He watched her brave radiation enough to knock a ghoul on their ass for those same ideals. He would never tell her, but he swore to himself he would protect her from herself if it came down to it. He would not stand by as she walked into hell, over his dead body.

In the moment

“I said you’re a fucking lying bastard Maxon!” Charon had to physically hold her back. She was on the verge of tears. He knew she thought she could help change the brotherhood, help them become something more than the violent military group they were. He knew she thought they could be family. But they weren't good. Not like her. They found discrimination and massive civilian casualties to be the cost of doing business. Once again she was being betrayed by a group she thought she belonged to.

“You will mind your words when speaking to elder Maxon.” A knight had a weapon trained on her. This was meant to be her dropping in to clear up a discrepancy. Instead they walked into a den of snakes, telling her she was being betrayed and that their favor was her being able to walk away alive.

“Elder my ass! While he was a kid my father was dying for this project. My mom died dreaming of this project. I am willing to die for this project. She said free water for all and I’ll be damned if I don’t fight for it! You can just let people get it! There is enough for everyone! We have a caravan system going! You can’t just decide to cut people off-”

“Those aren't people” Some fascist in power armor spoke up.

“Oh so that’s it? You’re gonna cut them off because they harbor-”

“Are infested by” Maxon corrected.

“God, Maxon what the fuck happened to you? You’re killing people with this decision, you know that?” Lone was full on crying.

“I don’t have time for this, have them removed.” Maxon hardly looked at them as he began walking away.

“No you don’t!” Lone tried to go after him, lurching forward in Charon’s grip.

“Lone, let's just go. We’ll figure something out.” This was getting dangerous and emotional, she wasn’t safe. He wanted to get her out of there so badly.

“I’ll fucking kill you for this Maxon! You hear me! I’ll-” Charon pulled her back, lifting her flailing body and moving to carry her out before she decided to open fire, but he guessed someone decided not to give her the chance, hit just beneath her collarbone, into her lung. No exit wound.

He ran, he had to get her out of there. He was thankful no one at the gate opened fire. He ran until he couldn’t see any signs of the brotherhood, and he would have ran more if not for the worrying amount of blood coating his shoulder. He shifted her and she let out a hollow, wet groan. He kicked his way into a boarded abandoned house, placed her on the rusty bed that had survived in the corner and tried to ignore the panicked wheezing sound she was making. He started looking through her pack, grabbed her med-x, stimpacks, alcohol, bandages, and tweezers.

“Charon-” She reached a clumsy hand out for him. He poured the liquor over his hands, soaked the bandages and tweezers.

“I’m here” He brought everything over to her, felt her place a hand on his head, heard her wheeze again.

“I got you” He set to work fast, administering the med-x before searching for the bullet.

“Charon” She gasped out. Her voice sounded strained and wet.

“You’re okay sweetheart”. He spoke with as much confidence as he could manage, but he knew the pet name betrayed him. She’d teased him about it before, how he only talks to her like that when one of them is fucked up. She wasn’t moving much, but she tried to shift her weight and groaned at it. “Save your energy” he commanded as he worked, placed a steadying hand over her sternum and felt it rise and fall as she breathed. He was scared of looking up at her face. He hated seeing her in pain. He just wished he could find this bullet-

“Charon” She sounded more desperate this time. “Please”.

He glanced up at her face. It was so pale, she looked confused and scared. “I got you, you’ll be okay”. He reassured. She had lost so much blood. He just wanted to take care of this wound fast, get some stimpacks in her. Put this whole mess behind them. She wheezed again.

“No, Charo-”

“Please save your strength” He pleaded. She tried to move and he pushed her back, held her body in place. She stopped fighting him quickly, didn’t quite manage to hide the pained grunt from her exertion. Holding her down didn’t take as much strength as it should have.

“Too much blo-” he hated how she talked about her injuries sometimes, like she herself was a doctor. He wanted to curse her medical background.

“No” He felt himself shaking. She was so pale, but he couldn’t give up.

“Listen” She pleaded. Would administering a stimpack now hurt her? He couldn’t find the bullet. He looked up, met her eyes. She looked scared. He really hoped he didn’t too. “I’m not”

“You’re gonna make it” He spoke firmly.

“I’m not” She wheezed again. He felt her thumb pet one of the few patches of hair he had left. Normally he loved when she did that. “Charon, they’re gonna take-”

“I know” He tried to hold back a sob.

“I- stop them” She seemed desperate, he could practically see the lightheadedness getting to her. He felt the hand on his head briefly make a fist before flattening again.

“I need you to hold on” he pleaded. “I love you, it's not time for you to go yet”. Fuck it, she’d lost too much blood, he can’t find the bullet and she was talking scary. He tried to ignore her wet hiss and his shaking hands as he administered the stimpack.

“Charon” she whined. Her chest started heaving faster, like she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs. He held the hand not on his head. She felt too cold. He forced himself to meet her eye. “I love you” she spoke desperately in a whisper.

“I know sweetheart” He spoke as softly as he could. Gripped her hand tight. Prayed the stimpack would be enough. They both knew it wouldn’t be.

“Charon I’m scared”. She gripped his hand back as best she could. He lifted a bloody hand to grab the hand on his head, kissed the palm.

“You’ll be okay, I got you-” Fuck, he was crying.

“Them, Charon don’t let them-” The words came in one wet gasp.

“I won’t”. He promised.

“I have you”. He gathered her up in his arms, held her like he knew she liked, prayed she felt warm, because to him she felt freezing. He looked her in the eye, they were getting unfocused and distant now. “I love you” he spoke quietly, placed light kisses to her face, repeated it all for her in soft whispers till he felt her last scraping breath.

He was screaming, he realized, when he came to sobbing over her body.

He would bury her, he decided. Then, he had one final order to carry out.

Fawks:

Attitude

He had suggested FEV before. Just once. Lone shot it down of course, wanting to be certain of maintaining her intellect. He couldn’t blame her.

He was always hyper aware of how killable she was, from the moment she let him out. He ran into a lot of radiation explicitly because he knew she would not survive that much radiation. He realized she was a little less killable than he thought when she strolled out of the enclave, the entire faction in ruins, because, apparently to hear her tell it, of her being able to convince the computer that ran the place to blow everything up.

She proved herself highly intelligent, but he often questioned her sanity considering some of the undertakings she willingly endured. When he would voice his objections on basis of safety, she would tell him she could handle it herself if he didn’t want to go. Of course he always went.

He thought she was beautiful, and kind, and accepting. He fought down any and all romantic feelings toward her, relishing instead in being able to help keep her safe and in action throughout all her suicidal attempts at making the wasteland a better place to live. He was always legitimately shocked at her frequent success, and well as some of the situations she managed to just walk out of with nary a scratch.

He was furious when she just walked into the water purifier the second she realized the stakes. Didn’t even ask him to help, just walked in and wobbled her way through typing in the code. He thought she died. Stayed by her bedside terrified she wouldn’t wake up. Felt joy like he couldn’t remember in ages when she did wake up.

Unfortunately for him Lone was curious, mischievous at the best of times, shameless at the worst. She pulled a confession out of him one dark night holed up against a rad storm, himself two bottles of vodka deep (He was a lightweight for a supermutant). Herself quite tipsy, she proceeded to kiss the breath right out his lungs. The next day, she didn’t regret it, and suddenly he had what he thought impossible for him: Love.

His desire to aid and protect her grew tenfold, and they got into a lot of fights about Lone walking into dangerous situations without him going first. He knew better than to tell her not to do something when she put her mind to it, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try and keep her safe.

In the moment

“I don’t like the look of the rest of this compound” Fawks spoke warily, eyeing the change in wall material.

“It could mean we’re closer to the G.E.C.K.” Lone chimed in from his side.

“That could also mean we’re a lot closer to a lot of radiation. We need to be careful.” Fawks warned, gun ready for anything to pop out and attack.

“Look!” Lone grabbed a finger, the closest she could get to holding his hand, and dragged him ahead to a large section of glass paneling looking down into a chamber with a small plate atop a pillar, with a great metal needle hanging from the ceiling above it. “It must be the G.E.C.K.!” She spoke excitedly, hands and nose pressed against the glass. “Where do you think the controls would be?” Lone looked down into the chamber.

“I’m checking it out” Fawks spoke, opening the door and stepping into the larger chamber. When he looked behind him, he was exasperated to see Lone had followed behind him. He sighed, then looked to the wall below the glass panel. “Well, we found the controls”.

“Perfect! The note said that once it's activated, it will start purging radiation from the surrounding wasteland and make the ground fertile. All we gotta do is figure out how to activate it.” Lone wandered to the panel, ran her hands over the buttons. “It’s a two person switch, or one really long person switch”. Lone announced, looking at the glass-enclosed dials on either end of the panel. “Lucky you got backup”. Lone looked at Fawks and winked, and he could only sigh.

“On the count of three?” He opened his box, placed his hand on the dial, watching Lone do the same.” “One..Two..Three!” The machine was deafening when it turned on, sent a blast of air through the room.

“Fawks?” He didn’t even register her geiger counter going off till he realized she had crumbled to the ground. “Fawks?” He gathered her up in his arms, checked her pip-boy ignoring the shake in her limbs. Started sweating when he saw the geiger counter couldn’t go any higher. He couldn’t look her in the eye, couldn’t stop. He had to get her out of here now.

He ran for the door. It was locked, no handle and it was keypad operated. He kicked at the door, then the keypad, then what was left of the keypad, until finally the door opened. He ran up the hallway, up up up, to another door. Locked from the other side. Her geiger counter was still buzzing, quieting only slightly in comparison to the G.E.C.K. chamber. That was the door they came in, the only door that lead in and the only door out. He fell to his knees, started digging through the packs for radaway and rad-x. Placed a delirious Lone against the door, the farthest point from radiation and the quietest her counter could get. Ignored her groans when he held her arm still to roll up the sleeve and insert the needle. She seemed to come to, just a little bit.

“Fawks?” She was looking up aimlessly. He held her much smaller hand in his.

“I’m here love, I got you.” He grabbed some rad-x and purified water. “I need you to take this”. Lone scrunched up their face and groaned, but let him help them sit up, take the pills and then the water. Their eyes rolled down to their geiger counter.

“I guess the door is locked?” Lone looked very tired.

“Yes” he sighed.

“Fawks, if I don’t-”

“You’re gonna make it Lone” He leaned forward, his head against the door, body arching over Lone. What he wouldn’t give to put those few inches of lead between there and Lone.

“If I don’t” They spoke with a determination. “Don’t let the brotherhood horde this shit, yeah?” She smiled up at him, but her eyes didn’t seem to focus.

“I’ll make sure” He promised. He was crying, he knew.

“Hold me?” Her voice was so quiet.

“Of course love”. He gathered her in his arms. Tried not to sob more when her geiger counter started getting louder. He started talking to her, trying to keep her awake, keep her responsive, but she seemed to zone in and out.

He changed her radaway the second it was used up. He knew the side effects would be killer if she made it. If she made it. Did start sobbing when she yelped, pulled back at the feeling of the needle leaving her skin. She seemed confused.

“Lone, its Fawks, I’m right here. This is gonna hurt but you’ll be okay” She nodded slowly, he exposed the needle on the new radaway, slid it into her skin right where the last had been, held her arm still for it because she was crying and shaking. He just held her arm still and held her. He checked repeatedly if he could get the door to open, praying it was just a time lock, but it held fast. She cried more when he turned away to check, and he really just wanted to hold her.

He resolved to hold her, kiss her and igraine the smell of her hair into his memory. He kept trying to talk to her, got some sporadic half logical replies during the second bag of radaway. The geiger counter got louder, and they may as well have been back in the larger room. The third bag of radaway she was only able to sporadically say his name. He pressed kisses to her forehead, her brow, her nose her cheeks her lips her chin. Told her he loved her, over and over again. Halfway through the fourth bag, she stopped responding, and by the end of it her eyes had glazed over. He knew she was gone. He thought he was gonna lose his mind.

Two weeks later, the door opened. The world he stepped out into was green.

I think I mighta spelled fawks wrong but he can eat my a$$ about it.

#fallout 4 #fallout companions #fallout 3 #lone wanderer #sole survivor #sole survivor x hancock #sole survivor x nick valentine #sole survivor x curie #lone wanderer x charon #lone wanderer x fawks #my writing

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freddiekolbeck · 2 months ago

Text

eddie’s gaze drifts past him, as if he’s taking himself someplace far away and freddie keeps his eyes on him, as if he’s looking to follow. he wants to see what he’s seeing, whether they go to the same place when thinking about the answer to this question. if he could, he'd take a shovel and dig through eddie's memories to see which ones laid at the top and which ones were buried at the bottom.

my year abroad, eddie says, and freddie's heart sinks a bit. he presses his lips together and nods once dejectedly, like he should've known eddie would've chosen the one time when they were the furthest apart. it only further reinforces what freddie had been thinking, but that doesn't make him feel any less stupid for feeling a little hopeful. his eyes fall to the floor then, landing on eddie's shoes where the cable of a laptop charger lies to the side of them, and briefly he's taken back to a much simpler time.

it was many years ago, when their cheeks were fuller and eddie was annoyingly taller than freddie. they were at a beach and the skies were grey, so they had the whole stretch to themselves. freddie had stuck a stick in the stand next to where eddie's feat had been and told him to stay put. he drew a long line as he walked further and further away, yelling back at him not to move, and continued until eddie had become a small dot. it'd amused him to picture how confused he must've looked. when freddie returned, he'd asked eddie if he could see the end of the line. 'no,' eddie replied. 'good,' freddie said. in his naivety, freddie thought their friendship would last as long as the drawn line, with no end and no interruption. they'd grow old together and be friends forever. they'd meet on the beach again, with each others wives and kids, and their kids' kids, and tell them all about the long, long line drawn in the sand.

and just when freddie starts to accept that this may be the end of the line for them, eddie specifies he was talking about thanksgiving week, of his year abroad. it takes him a few seconds to realise he'd been there. parker, too. the faintest smile flickers across his face, as the memories come flooding back. "and we got invited to that random wedding, where we caught the bride with the best man?" he remembers writing it down, to include it in eddie's wedding speech. but the point, what was the point? "i don't really know." a huff of a humourless laugh, lifting his shoulders into a listless shrug. "i guess there isn't one, really."

"my therapist asked me and i didn't really know what to say." if his memories could be pulled from his mind like a reel of film, it'd show as one big blur and choppy where his worst moments had been cut. he knows he has happy memories, but for a handful of them he can't recall the details. sometimes they don't even feel like his own, like he's made them up to fill in the blanks. other times, it feels like shoving a square peg in a round hole. does they count if he was high? or if eddie was secretly thinking he was being a shitty friend? "but that's not important."

he runs a hand through his hair as he lets out a heavy sigh, glancing down at his suitcase for a brief moment. "i just-- i don't know what to say to that, if i'm being honest. which is fucking ridiculous," he admits. "you've come here and apologised and i can't even say it back. your sister goes missing and i can't suck it up and just be your fucking friend." he lifts his hands in the air as if to say: it's a fucking joke, before they land on his sides. "i don't know what you wanted from this conversation but whatever it is..." another sigh. "i don't know, man." a beat. "i'm leaving, anyway."

Both, he thinks in response but doesn’t say anything, feeling somewhat frustrated in the face of Freddie’s passive-aggressive approach. Isn’t an apology what he wants? Knowing Edward as the most self-righteous human being in a 13-mile-radius, isn’t that a good enough start? Can’t he cut him some slack given everything he’s going though? Maybe not…

And maybe, Edward deserves it…

If that had been anyone else in the world, he would have certainly turned away and walked out on the spot. A speech about him always having to be the grown-up in the room, always ready to compromise in opposition to an inflexible counterparty, echoing behind him as he walked through the door. But Eddie’s sets of rules and statutes always tend to change when it comes to Freddie… So instead, he stays. He ignores the snarky remark like it’s a duplicated page on a novel he has read a million times, and just watches for a second, trying to resist the impulse to take the poorly folded clothes and refold them the properly.

The question that followed, juxtapositioned with the familiar sight of a jacket he hasn’t seen in a long time seems intentional. Knowing Freddie, it might as well be. But it might as well not.

He doesn’t answer immediately. Their sophomore-trip to Italy would be the obvious answer. Perhaps, even the one Freddie expected to hear. But an unlikely sequence of recent events shifted his perspective on certain things – on the people that make him truly happy, and the memories he cherished the most. And so, he takes a minute to think. Well, almost a minute – which is still a long interim of awkward silence where he’s just staring out the window as though the answer would come in with the wind. It doesn’t. Instead, it comes from a process of rationalization. Like most things when it comes to him. He tries to find a time where Lucas and Océane were around. But also, Freddie. And Parker. And also, it would have to be some time when he was in France. And, most importantly, away from his family.

“My year abroad.” He says, although there is a bit of uncertainty to his voice, as if he weren’t fully convinced. Because, well, he isn’t. Sometimes you become so engrossed in your own self-pity and melancholy that that you don’t spend time thinking about the things that make you happy. “November, to be precise.” He completes, still not looking directly at Freddie. “Thanksgiving week.” When both he and Parker were in France to visit him. Parker eventually returned to America to spend the day with her family, but Freddie stayed. It was the first Thanksgiving he ever spent away from his parents. And, if he weren’t so naïve then, perhaps he would have realized that it was so much better this way… “I don’t get the point of the question, though.” He finally looks at Freddie and his ever-growing pile of poorly folded clothes that he would never be able to fit into his bag.

#no it’s not xx #reporting u rn #eddie morrison !#i think this is the longest reply i've ever written in my life

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the-winter-spider · 2 years ago

Text

My Forever, Pt.1 | S.Harrington

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Angst, lots of it. Mentions of thought of su!cide

A/N: Ive never written for Steve before, so this shall be interesting!Not proof read or edited, not sure where this is gonna go but I may follow some of the story line or make it up along the way, but I will not be following the script word for word!

“We were always meant for each other. You said I’m your moon, but you, your my sun and we make the perfect sunset”

The bond you had with each of the kids, with Robin, with Steve. Was something if someone told you back in late 83’ you would have never believed you would have ben hanging out with a bunch of kids willingly without getting paid. But now they were everything to you and they were also no longer children, they were in high school with you.

You drifted from everyone, it was your fault. They tried, they did but how long could they try after so many attempts of friendships that were one-sided? You didn't blame them one bit.

A love that was left behind

Steve, he was your whole galaxy, he lit up your sky in the darkest of times but you got sucked into a black hole and no light could be seen from where you were.

You don't even remember the last time you saw those honey brown eyes, that smile that lit up your whole world once.

He would always drop Robin off in the morning. You always tried to get there after making you late but after your grades slipped drastically you just didn't care anymore you showed up to be somewhere you didn't have to worry about thoughts that urged to just jump off a cliff or to let yourself sink to the bottom of lovers lake letting the air leave your lungs never to return.

Today though, they were late arriving at the same time as you, you could feel his gaze on you, hushed whispers coming from Steve and Robin, no doubt in your mind about you.

About how pathetic you looked, your hair was dull, your shirt hung off your shoulders more than it did before, your skin not as vibrant as it once was even with the unbarring sun, spring brought to Hawkins.

“Y/n!”

fuck, you sped up a little bit

“I know you can hear me”

You sighed, stopping and not bothering to turn around because you knew he was still lingering there waiting to see just a glimpse of you.

Robin stopped directly beside you, a soft smile rose on her freckled-covered cheeks “It's been a while”

You nodded as you continued walking, her step matching yours “Has it?”

“Over a year” Her voice waiver slightly “Were uh, worried about you”

You stopped turning to face her, her ocean blue eyes swirled with worry, love and something else you couldn’t quite place, pity you thought, mustering up the most convincing smile you could “I'm fine, I p-promise”

She nodded as the final bell rang, taking your hands in hers “Y’know, we're here for you. We’ll always be here, we're on your side. Okay?”

“Okay”

You stood there as she dashed off leaving you standing there your eyes moved over to the burgundy car still in the parking lot. Your eyes found those warm brown ones for the first time in a year, he gave you a small, friendly wave testing the waters. Something in you switched as you shook your head, bee-lining it from the school towards the forest.

“She just ran?”

“She looked at me, I think she was crying and she just took off!” His hands flew to his face

“You didn't think to like I don't know, chase after her?”

“I did, but she was just gone or hiding. I don't know. I went by her house”

Robin paused, putting away movies, turning to face Steve “And?”

“Robs, she doesn’t live there anymore”

Her mouth gaped “What do you mean she doesn’t?”

“Some new family lives there, they said they bought Y/L/N house just after New Year, said something about a transfer to freaking Europe” Steve flung his hands up

“Where is y/n staying then? Why didn't she go with them? Who just leaves their kid behind!”

Steve sighed his head resting in his hands on the counter “I don't know” He paused letting a heavy breath out “I should have tried harder, I stopped trying”

“Steve” Robin took a step forward placing her hand on his shoulder “She pushed us all away, we did try”

“I shoulda fought harder Robs”

“Y/n no!” Steve shouted as you raced towards Billy and Eleven, breaking free from his grasp as Robin held him back.

You tackled Billy, giving Mike the chance to pull Eleven out of harm's way.

Billy’s eyes darken “I always knew you were feisty, can't wait for you to join us”

He grabbed your neck slamming you into the ground, where mere seconds ago Eleven laid “Billy, p-please. You have to fight for Max”

You could see an internal battle in his eyes, his grip around your neck loosened the black dots clouding your vision fading, and you could still hear Steve screaming your name.

“Max” Billy whispered

“She needs her big brother”

“Y/n?”

You nodded tears rolling down the sides of your face, he let go standing up and turning to face the gooey black creature. You just laid there your eyes wide, frozen in shock as you watched, Seconds felt like minutes and minutes like hours, but yet everything happened so fast.

You watched, that's all you did was watch as Billy sacrificed himself. You watched that thing stab a hole directly through his chest, you watched him drop to the ground. You watched Max run for Billy, you watched Mike hug Eleven just a tad tighter than he already was, Just as you watched Steve run for you.

He gripped your face, his mouth was moving so slow, you couldn’t quite make out what he was saying but you could see the panic, the fear in his eyes

“We have to go! We have to go now!” Robin screamed

Steve didn't hesitate as he picked you up carrying you out of the mall.

You were sitting on the bench in the woods just past your school. You could hear leaves crunching as someone was walking from behind you.

Chrissy.

You kept your gaze on her back as she walked past you in a daze staring at the tree. She looked frightened, terrified. You got up to walk towards her, trying to get a better view of what she was looking at when suddenly she looked at you “D-did you see that?”

“See what?”

She looked back at the tree, shell shocked “Nothing”

“Are you okay?” Your voice soft

She gave you a small nod, her eyes telling otherwise as they darted around making her way to the bench “I should be asking you that”

“W-what?” You took your place across from her

Her eyes were kind, with no malicious intent behind what she was saying what so ever “You’re just different” She paused taking a look around “When my cousin Sarah moved here over the summer she was so excited to meet you” She gave you a half smile, you nodded for her to continue “The girls and I always talked about you, I guess you could say we talked you up. Told her you were the best cheer captain Hawkins ever had. Your typical ‘All American girl’” she laughed using air quotes “So kind, so pretty, not a mean bone in her body, except for all those times you put ‘King Steve’ in his place, still in the kindest way bring him back down to earth but.… when the school year started up, you weren’t any of that, not anymore.”

Your eyes left hers, not meeting her gaze as you stared at the tree behind her, ashamed.

“You were just this shell of who you once were. My friend is gone and I have no idea what happened, it's like you’re not there anymore and when you quit cheer y/n..”

“I know”

“Why?”

You knew you could never tell her anything you knew, could never tell her anything that happened and even if you did, Chrissy isn't who you confide in anymore and she hasn't been that person since before inter dimensional monster lingered in Hawkins. And the people who you could talk to this about you just couldn’t and you wouldn't burden them anymore, because you were all carrying baggage. You wiped your tear away “I don't know”

She lightly scoffed under her breath, she was getting frustrated “Your house”

You knew you owed her some sort of explanation as to why you pushed her away, completely abandoning her, leaving her in the dark.

“I know”

She reached toward you “Talk to me please”

You shot up, pulling your hand away at the sound of a very loud individual stomping toward the two of you.

Eddie

“Well well well, what do we have here” His eyes went between Chrissy and you “Cheer captain and ex cheer captain, there isn't going to be some sort of cheer off right?” His grin took up his whole face as he slammed his container on the table making Chrissy jump “Uh sorry, you okay?”

She nodded looking back at you “Y/n”

You looked between her and Eddie, your eyes widened at the realization of why she was here and why he was here “Oh”

“Will You be at the game tonight?”

You met her eyes, her face pleading with you to come, you shrugged your shoulders “I don't know” you quickly grabbed your bag tossing it over your shoulders “Ill uh, see you around”

“Y/n wait” Eddie stepped towards you grabbing your arm

His impenetrable brown eyes see right through yours “I'll see you later yeah?”

You nodded smiling at him “Yeah Eds I’ll meet you at our spot”

He nodded giving you his most famous smile, before you turned to exit the woods, you could vaguely hear the start of their conversation

“You know her?” Chrissy's voice quiet

You could see Eddie shrugging in your mind “Of course she's my neighbour”

You weren’t ready to go home and succumb to the quiet, claustrophobic, eeriness of your trailer quite yet. You weren't ready to go home and watch Billy die again and again. To watch Steve get beat to a pulp. To watch your parents abandon you. To watch hurt wash over his face each time you pushed him away.

To close your eyes and try to fall into what is supposed to be a peaceful bliss that is sleep, only to see your friends getting murdered over and over.

You walked and walked till you knew if you started to head home now you’d get there just in time for Eddie to be home.

You lost your friends, your family, your Steve. But Eddie became a circumpolar star in your galaxy. He was always there, always shining so bright despite everything, he was someone you tried to push away but he was so persistent you just let him be, deciding to give yourself one blissful moment each day, something you knew you didn’t deserve after Billy but how could you say no when he was always right there, and like literally right there his trailer was directly in front of yours.

The friendship blossomed when he would find you almost every night on the picnic bench. A place you would sit from the moment you got home till the sky was glazed with constellations just to get a glimpse of Max, to make sure she got home safe.

She never once looked your way to even acknowledge you, her head always elsewhere her ears covered in her headphones, she no doubt blamed you for Billy at least partially, if it wasn't for you trying to get through to him and succeeding he wouldn’t have broken through the grasp of the mind flayer and he wouldn’t have tried to save you all, he wouldn’t have sacrificed himself, he wouldn’t have died and if you didn't just lay there and watch you could have pushed him out of the way so it could have been you, it should have been you.

But that's how Eddie always found you and he had such a kind heart, a soft spot for as he put it lost souls and he could tell that you weren't a lost soul but in his words, a “Crushed, shattered, broken one” and he wasn't wrong but he wasn't right because it didn't even feel like you had one.

But like clockwork every single night since you moved to the park he would pull up in his van, and go inside for all of 10 minutes before he was sitting across from you with 2 perfectly rolled joints that you would share. You would barely get a word in most of the time but you never wanted to, listening to him ramble on about his band, to hear about Mike, Dustin and Lucas were enough for you it became your best distraction.

But it was different in the last 2 weeks, something between the two of you shifted and not in a romantic way but in a protective way. Your nightmares had gotten more intense, they were so real. And one night instead of Billy it was Steve, your Steve and you were shaken awake from a shirtless Eddie beside you shaking your shoulders, his eyes circling with concern. And that wouldn’t be the last time he would have to do that either. It seemed to be a routine, you don't know what triggered your nightmares to be more intense than they ever were but it started to drain you, and you were starting to think of doing the unthinkable.

You were so tired, you felt like your mind was coated in cement and each time it dried more was dumped on. You were drowning and the air was so thick it was hard to breathe.

Your body was giving up on you and you were too.

You were almost home, walking along the side of the road. You could hear cheering, car horns honking as a group of cars whizzed past you with jocks no doubt, chanting “Sinclair Sinclair”

You smiled to yourself mumbling out loud “Good for you Lucas”

Making your way up your creaky steps you got inside, sighing tossing your bag on the ground. Finding yourself twisting open the bottle of Vodka “Go tigers” you mumbled taking a swig and then another, placing the bottle down when you heard Eddie's van pull up. You walked to the door about to open it when you heard Eddie speaking to someone and a very familiar voice responded back

“No way” You laughed, shaking your head “Go, Eddie”

You bent down putting on your brand new Smiths record deciding to sit and wallow in your loneliness while your new best friend and your old best friend found something in each other.

'Cause, tonight is just like any other night, That's why you're on your own tonight. With your triumphs and your charms, while they're in each other's arms

You plopped down on your creeky, itchy, dusty couch. No doubt in your mind it was worse than the one in the Wheeler's basement. Opening the box that was on your coffee table, in the centre a perfectly rolled joint in a baggy with sharpie written on it “For emergencies only - E”

Opening the baggy you put it between your lips, digging around for a lighter when your hands grazed over a polaroid. You could feel your heart picking up in beats, blood flowing to your ears, you shakily picked it up and staring back at you were Robin's blue eyes hidden partially from her squinting from the flash still showing off her perfectly imperfect smile, her hand behind you giving you bunny ears. Your head thrown back laughing, your arm around her shoulder, you gazed lifted to Steve, your other arm wrapped around him. Steve’s arm was extended holding the camera out. You never noticed before but he wasn't even looking at the camera, Steve’s soft brown eyes were staring at you.

You swallowed thickly, the joint still between your lips as you flipped to the next polaroid. This time it was just Steve and you, his arm was wrapped tightly around you as you hugged his torso. You smiled up at him as he gazed lovingly down at you, written below the picture in Steve’s writing said ‘My forever’

A tear rolled down your cheek as you dropped the pictures to the coffee table, grabbing the lighter. Finally lighting up your escape for an hour. You inhaled deeply before you heard a blood-curdling scream, you shot up, the joint falling from your lips, your coffee table getting shoved aggressively out of the way of the pictures falling on the ground, and you rushed to your door ripping it open just in time to see Eddie peeling it out of the trailer park, alone.

Your hand was shaking as you pushed open your screen door, slowly walking down your steps to Eddie's trailer.

You gulped, you knocked just in case before you pushed the door open, it wasn't latched. You knew he left in a hurry but you couldn’t shake this feeling, as chills ran up your body. The door squeaked open.

Your hands went to your mouth, what you saw was something you’d never be able to fully comprehend or even describe. It was something you’ve never seen before and that was saying. You stood there frozen again. You didn't know what to do, what to think. You knew Eddie couldn’t have done this and as soon as your mind wandered to the possibilities of something else doing this you shuddered.

Stumbling out of the trailer, your eyes did not leave Chrissy’s body till the wind slammed the door shut.

You spun around so fast you almost fell over, you were trying to get as much air in as possible. Suddenly your clothes felt too tight and only minutes ago they were practically falling off. You could feel the wind picking up, your trailer door slamming open and shut with the wind, the swing set was creaking and there was ticking.

You spun in circles not sure what needed to stop first, you felt overstimulated, you brought your hands to your ears squeezing them as tightly as possible trying to block it out.

Ding, dong, ding, dong

Your eyes frantically looked around, trying to find where it was coming from but instead, your eyes met Max’s for the first time in over a year, her eyebrows were furrowed you could see her lips move. You were once again a deer in the headlights in front of Max

She was walking towards you “Y/n?”

Your lips parted to tell her to stop, to get back inside and that you were sorry but you froze when you heard a sinister voice whispering in your ear.

“y/n….”

#steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington one shot #Steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #Steve Harrington x y/n #Steve Harrington x you #steve harrington fic #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington imagine #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction

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raggaraddy · 3 years ago

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The Basement: part one

Anon request: Hi can I request an assassin!yoongi one shot where yoongi gets jealous over reader somehow even though I know he isolates her so she depends on him but maybe she somehow stumbles into a colleague of his in his living room or a friend and the friend is 👀 looking not so respectfully

A/N: Enjoy lovely. 💜💜💜 Part two

Summary: For the first time ever there is someone else in the house with you and Yoongi. How could Yoongi expect you to resist speaking with him.

Trigger warnings: Violence, intimidation, kidnapping, imprisonment, yandere themes.

Yoongi

Yandere! Yoongi

Assassin! Yoongi

It may only be a few hundred square meters, but this house is your entire world. You know every creak, every floorboard that squeaked, how each door closes, everything. So in the middle of the night when you are woken by an almighty thump, at once you could recognize how out of place it was.

Cautiously sneaking downstairs and peering around every bend, you are just in time to see Yoongi slamming the basement door shut behind him.

Putting your ear to the entrance, you could hear the sounds of banging, of the chains, of low spoken voices. Over and over in your head, you told yourself to ignore it. To go back to bed and let it be. But the signs that there was another person down there with Yoongi were clear, and the temptation of that was too much to bear.

Your lesser instinct winning out, you open the door, instantly coming face to face with an ascending Yoongi. And behind him, in the place where you had been chained up many times before was a hooded man. Seated on the floor in a slumped position. His hands fixed against the wall keeping them high.

"Out," Yoongi demands, shoving your shoulder lightly to push you back through the doorway.

"Who-" is all you can gape, disbelief printed on your face.

"Not your concern." He refuses, closing the door. Continuing to push you back into the kitchen. "You do not go down there. Am I clear?" A finality to his expression not allowing any room for discussion or expansion.

Nodding, with a small pout you look at the basement one last time before faking a smile and returning to bed.

You were awestricken. Not once in nearly 8 months have you seen or heard another person in this house. Also not during the 6 months stretch before that. No one had visited. Not a single person had come past the house or had even driven up the driveway by accident. Your curiosity was burning you from the inside out. Your longing to see, to speak to another human aching your very soul.

Yoongi had gone into town, leaving you alone with the unlocked basement door. You'd always been chained up if he kept you down there, so it had never needed to be locked before. And the very idea of taking a quick peek was so tantalizing. However, on the more sensible side of this debate, you knew that Yoongi's word was final and you had never disobeyed him before.

You would like to say you were smart enough for this to at least be a difficult decision. But you swiftly threw common sense to the wind and went downstairs the second you heard the car pull out of the garage. Your body buzzing as you approached the new man.

With a heavy breath and timorous movements, you pull the hood back from the man's head. Black, straight, short hair. Dark, full brows, a perfect heart-shaped face, and ears that stuck out just a little too far. From head to toe, he's largely built. Taller and wider than Yoongi, making you astounded to think about how dangerous he really was.

For a few seconds, the both of you look equally surprised to see the other. Your pulse coursing through your ears, mouth slightly agape, looking at another human for the first time in forever.

"Hi," you squeak, nothing else coming to mind.

"Who are you?" He snarls.

It's spoken with so much hostility, but that question is one that brings you so much relief. You break down, pouring out your entire story in a rampant monologue. Telling him in detail everything you could about you, Yoongi, this place and your abductions. Fully spilling all that you had been so desperate to tell.

He, however, gives you nothing in return. For nearly 10 minutes you ask him question after question and he declines them all. Not even his name slips loose. He explains once that he can't know if your working with Yoongi, or that lunatic as he called him, and he is not going to tell you a single thing. Every question afterwards is only met with a solemn stare or a shake of refusal.

"If you won't tell me anything," you mope a little, "well, you look like a James Bond character, so I'm going to call you Mr Spy. The Spy? 007. Spy-man? I'll work on it." You mutter completely senseless and giddy from this rare moment. Continuing to overshare and divulge.

"Okay, Y/N. With everything you've told me, we're on the same page. So, if you help me get out of these," he rattles his hands, "Then I can get you out of this place."

The thought is alluring. But also more than you signed up for when you came down here. Firstly, Yoongi always keeps the keys for these chains on him. But secondly and most importantly, if you attempted to escape, if you tried to leave again Yoongi would never forgive you. You can't get away from him. You know you can't. And if you tried he would lock you up and throw away the key. You couldn't- You can't.

"I'm sorry, but no. I can't." You sadly brush his offer aside. Feeling awful denying him help like that. "I have to go back up before Yoongi comes home," you mumble.

Leaning over him you bring the hood up. You need to return him to how he was. He doesn't fight or argue, seeming to somberly accept his fate, but his eyes do dart to the top of the stairs at the last second.

Reacting to his troubled expression, you spin around seeing Yoongi already home, standing at the entrance.

At once your body tightens becoming flushed with sweat. Scrambling back from the man you stand in the middle of the room, trying to keep your breathing slow and deep to hide your fright.

"I thought," He starts to lower down the stairs, punctuating each point in his sentence with an additional step. "I said. You could not. Come in here."

"I'm sorry," you hush as Yoongi snatches the hood from your hand. Your head lowering in surrender.

"You want to save her?" He turns his attention and building anger towards his new prisoner. His fists are tight, knuckles cracking as he clenches and twists them. "You want to get her out of this place?" The challenge, the hash way he spits the words spoken about you is making the hairs on the back of your neck stand. Goosebumps flittering down your skin.

Lurching forward Yoongi's knee bashes into The Spy's head. And again. His foot following down booting him in the chest. And again.

"You think she wants to go with you?!" He growls, beating his fist into his head, over and over. The skin breaking, blood erupting all across his face. The Spy's restrained position not allowing him to protect himself in any way, only able to groan and splutter through the abuse. "You're too weak to even get yourself free. You think you can take her!" Yoongi steps back and lifts his leg, stomping the heel of his boot into the curled up fist of The Spy. Making him explode in a pained howl as you hear the bones crunch.

Not wanting to show any reaction, you stay coiled and fixed. Praying for this to end quickly. You had seen this level of violence and sadism from Yoongi before in the outside world. He doesn't acknowledge or accept any interference and he will only finish on his own terms.

You can't help but think if this is this how cruel and viciously he treats everyone else?

Stomping down again, this time he lines up The Spy's ankle. Throwing all his weight, all his force into the joint. The man's screams turning into cries as he wails in agony.

"No. You're not taking her anywhere." Yoongi straightens up, blowing out a heavy breath. Running his fingers back through his black hair over and over pulling it out of his face. "You're gonna tell me everything I wanna know. And then I'll finally let you die." He swallows hard, rearranging his clothes and loosening his muscles. His fiery explosion now quenched.

You can't lift your eyes as he drags you to the top floor. The basement door sealing, muffling the tears of the man below.

"Yoongi. I told him- I told him I couldn't-" You're starting and stopping, trying to sufficiently explain or plead your case. He's never shown anything near that level of violence towards you, but you were still sure he was about to lock you away endlessly for disobeying him.

He steps into you, silencing and making you jump back, smacking into the wall. Trapped between it and your hovering captor.

"I heard you." He speaks deeply and softly. In complete opposition to how he was moments ago. "Well done." His coarse pronunciation is abandoned as he speaks these words very clearly. Making sure you hear his sincerity.

His hand runs softly over your hair, stroking and cupping your head. Making you fight not to melt. Making you look up at him with big eyes. Any sort of affection from Yoongi instantly impacting you greatly, making you emotional and needy for more. Your bottom lip quivering, you whimper lowly as you lose the internal struggle and lean into his hand. Your eyes scrunching tight, hating yourself for how much his gentle touch affects your heart.

"Come with me," he holds your hand having you trail him upstairs. Taking you into his bedroom where he extends the affection and intimacy. Being with you so tenderly and kindly as your mind and heart tears back and forth between the softness you can feel now, and the horrors you saw him do before.

Despite the risks, your head fills with how and when you could see The Spy again. He was hurt, and he needed your help. And you were too eager to see him again. But when you wake the next day, you find a hefty padlock keeping the basement door sealed.

Yoongi at once reading your reaction. "You should thank me for locking that door Y/N. You don't know how dangerous some people can be."

Part two

#bts #yandere bts #yandere #bts fanfic #bangtan #yandere bangtan #bts smut #bts reactions #yandere yoongi #min yoongi #yandere suga #Yoongi #bts smut reactions #bts fan fiction #bts fanfction #bts requests #yoongi smut #bangtan reactions

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littlestarofthewest · 4 years ago

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Forever ago request that I started long ago and finally finished. Hope you'll see this, anon.

Title: Saved by the Bell | Words: 2,611 | Rating: Explicit (18+)

Pairing: Arthur x female reader

You can't exactly tell when it started; you just know it's getting worse. For a few weeks now, you and Arthur have been dancing around each other, making jokes and comments that aren't solely friendly. You also don't remember who started it, but now that you're both in it, neither of you wants to give in and stop.

Somehow, Arthur always manages to do his work right in front of you, often needlessly shirtless, giving you a good look at his muscular body. In turn, you bend over way more than necessary, not caring if your clothes stay in place, exposing your cleavage or legs up to your thighs.

Today, it's one of those days again. Arthur is chopping wood, always in your frame of vision, once again refusing to wear a shirt. He only stops when you use helping Pearson as an excuse to lick your fingers clean at every chance you get.

Arthur disappears after that. You see him again when you're down by the river to clean some clothes. He washes barely a few steps away from you. Unlucky for him, you're not the most squeamish when it comes to cold water. Only dressed in your chemise, you don't care how the stream soaks the fabric, making it cling to your thighs.

By the time Arthur walks over to you, you managed to get a few splashes of water on your chest as well, letting your breasts shine through like a beacon in the night. Arthur's eyes clearly rest there for a moment before he looks at your face.

"Charles said you wanted to come on our next hunting trip. That true?" he asks.

"Sure, why wouldn't I?"

"Lots of wild animals out there. It's pretty dangerous."

You know he doesn't mean that. After all, you've been out with them before. The whole conversation is just another way of teasing you. Arthur is standing way closer than he has to or does with the other girls. Droplets of water are still searching their way through the hair on his chest to run down over his stomach before they find their end at the hem of his jeans, not allowed to venture any deeper. Just like your gaze.

After weeks and weeks of this, it begins to annoy you. "You know, the chance of being ravished by some wild beast out there doesn't scare me at all. In fact, it would be a nice change of pace."

Arthur needs a moment to process your answer, and something in his face and posture shifts. "Are you sure? You could get hurt."

He sounds way too serious, and maybe you should get to the bottom of it, but you're out of patience. You get up and pick up the basket with the clothes before leaning over to Arthur. "I'm tired of the chase, Arthur. If you want your prey, you shoot it, or you don't. You don't make it run until it wants to throw itself off a cliff just to put an end to it."

Arthur opens his mouth but doesn't say anything. At that moment, you decide that you don't want a man who can't be honest about what he wants. You gave Arthur enough hints, making clear that you wouldn't be opposed to taking it a step further with him. If he can't act on that, then you'll call it quits.

"Maybe I'll find someone else to hunt with," you say, walking away. For a brief moment, you have a flicker of hope that Arthur might hold you back, but the silence behind you is absolut. It's over.

[Line Break]

A week later, Arthur and Micah bring in a big score. They're the most unlikely pair out there, but Arthur is also the only one who can keep Micah in check aside from Dutch. Arthur chooses to work with him, so nobody else has to.

It's barely past noon, but a little celebration is born. People are singing and drinking, and while you're usually not much into booze, you make an exception this time. Micah, on the other hand, gets drunk faster than anybody else. That's probably why he tries to talk to you at all. You could never stand him and made that so clear that even a thickhead like Micah accepted that he should avoid you. Today, he seems to have forgotten all about that.

"Come on, doll. We've just gotten off to a bad start. I'm sure we can become friends."

The way he lets his eyes roam over your body makes it pretty clear that being friends is the last thing on his mind. Usually, you would have told him to get lost, but Arthur is walking over to get another beer, and an evil voice inside you tells you to get even.

"Friends, huh?" you say, reaching for the collar of Micah's shirt. You straighten it before running your fingers over his skin, playing with the little hairs on Micah's chest. "That all?"

Micah grins, trying to puff himself up. Instead, he sways dangerously, barely able to stand upright. "Oh, I can be more than that. Say the word, and I'll show you a good time."

It's not lost on you that Arthur hasn't moved from his spot. He's just standing there, listening in on your conversation. "Tell you what," you say, leaning over to Micah and dropping your voice, "I'll think about it, but you have to do a lot better than this."

Arthur drops the bottle he's holding, but Micah pays him no mind, too occupied with you. "Let's go right now."

"Get sober first," you say and push Micah, making him fall flat on his ass. You walk away, hearing Micah laugh behind you.

You hope that he's forgotten all about this when he wakes up. You don't have the nerve to keep him off your back again, but Arthur's reaction was worth it.

Not in the mood to participate in the festivities, you grab a basket from Pearson's wagon before venturing into the woods to find berries or mushrooms. The sun drops down through the trees, basking even the darkest places in a warm light. The bushes hang ripe with berries and picking a few, you wish everything was that easy.

You're about to move on when you hear something behind you. Pulling your knife out, you whisk around, the basket dropping to the floor. Arthur is coming out from behind a few trees, lifting up his hands as he sees you. "Just me."

"Why are you following me?"

"I was just heading into the woods," Arthur grunts. "Is that a crime now?"

You put away your knife and drop to your knees to collect the scattered berries. Arthur moves over to help you, annoying you even more. You can't be angry at him for being nice.

"Cowardice should be a crime," you murmur under your breath.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see how Arthur clenches his jaw, fighting not to give you an answer. Two berries later, he loses the battle. "I'm not a coward."

"If you say so."

"I'm not afraid," Arthur huffs, "just because I'm not an asshole like Micah."

You grab one of the berries so hard that it crushes in your hand. "At least he wants me and acted on it."

"Who says I don't want you?" Arthur hisses.

Your faces are only inches apart now, and you stay there to hold your ground. "If you want me, Arthur, you have to take me. You can't-"

You don't get a chance to finish the sentence. Arthur closes the gap between you and presses a hard kiss on your lips. At first, you're too stunned to react, but then you throw your arms around Arthur's neck, eager for more.

Spurred on by your reaction, Arthur moves closer, and you topple over into the grass, Arthur on top of you. He kisses you open-mouthed and sloppy, his hands digging into your sides. It's almost painful, but you can't hold back either, running your hands over his chest.

While opening his shirt, you rip off a button, and it flies away into the bushes, never to be seen again. Arthur kisses along your neck while his hands roam over your body, cupping your breasts. You arch your back, pressing up against him, and Arthur opens your dress. With quick fingers, he manages to work it down enough to expose you and leans in to kiss every inch he can reach. You thread your fingers into Arthur's hair and can't help that you pull on it when he sucks one of your nipples into his mouth.

"Finally," you gasp, and Arthur reaches down to pull up your dress.

His hand immediately goes to your center, his hand sneaking into your underwear to tease your pussy. With how long you've been waiting for this and the rough treatment of Arthur now, it's no surprise that you're soaking wet for him, and Arthur moans against your skin at the touch.

"You really want to get ravished, huh?" he murmurs, and this time you pull his hair on purpose.

"You really should listen better."

"Fine," Arthur grunts, something in his voice that makes your skin tingle in anticipation. "Turn around."

He gives you free and helps you along, rolling you onto your stomach. "Arthur, what-?"

You can't finish the question and let out a surprised squeal when Arthur grabs you by the waist and lifts you up, forcing you to go on all fours. He pushes your skirt up with the same enthusiasm as before and pulls down your underwear, just enough to have access.

For a moment, you can't feel Arthur but hear him rummaging around with his own clothes. Then, a warm hand finds your thigh, the touch setting butterflies free in your stomach. Arthur might talk about ravishing you, but doesn't have it in him to hurt you, still way more careful than you're used to.

He moves closer, making you feel his heat as he brushes his cock along your wet folds before pushing in. You claw your fingers into the ground under you as Arthur stretches you open, pushing in deep until he draws a soft cry from your lips. He stills then, hesitating once more.

"Arthur, please," you say, pushing back against him, "more."

Finally, Arthur moves with more confidence. He thrusts into you while his fingers dig into your hips, holding on to you for leverage. Knowing that you're not that far from camp, you try your best to stay quiet, but with the way Arthur treats you now, you can't suppress eager moans.

When you add the occasional "God, yes" and call out Arthur's name, he groans and goes even harder. You dig your hands into the ground and push back against Arthur, your insides on fire. It borders on being painful, but you still can't help begging for more.

Arthur runs his hand over your back and up your neck before he fists his fingers into your hair. The touch alone sends heat waves through your body, and then Arthur pulls. You're forced to lift your head to avoid the pain and hollow your back, lifting your ass even higher in the process.

Using the new angle, Arthur takes you without mercy, holding on to your hair. You're completely under his control, unable to move unless you want it to hurt. Cries of pleasure escape you, and without warning, Arthur pushes you down on the ground.

He only glides out of you to get into a new position, then he forces your legs apart with his own, pushing back into you. You groan when you feel Arthur's weight on you, and he grabs your hair again, making you lift your head.

"Is that what you wanted, sweetheart?" Arthur asks, something dark in his voice.

Before you can answer, he already thrusts into you, and you remember how you talked about being ravished by a wild beast. It seems Arthur finally takes your words to heart. He barely gives you a second to breathe, holding you in that limbo between pain and pleasure, and your only choice is to take what he gives you.

When Arthur finally lets go of your hair, he puts his hand around your throat, and although there's no pressure on it, the gesture alone has you whimpering.

"You're mine now," Arthur says, his breath hot against your ear. "No more joking around with Micah, you understand?"

"I was just-"

Arthur only moves his fingers, and you become quiet, barely able to breathe.

"Try that again," Arthur says, and you swallow hard, sure that Arthur can feel it.

"No Micah," you say, and Arthur hums, satisfied.

He picks up the pace, only interrupting the way he ruts into you to pull back and push in deep, making you cry out each time. By now, you're sure that at least one person in camp must have heard you, but Arthur gives you no chance to think about it.

He's everywhere, his voice, his touch, and his cock, filling you up so good that you're trembling with lust. You feel like you can barely take it anymore when Arthur reaches under you, his fingers pressing against your clit. Trapped between his hand and the constant thrusts, you can't hold on any longer.

"Arthur, I-" you manage to say but break off when your orgasm hits your core and rushes in waves through the rest of your body.

Arthur holds still as your muscles tighten around him, letting you set the pace for now. You push back against him, riding the last waves before your body relaxes and Arthur glides out of you.

He carefully turns you around, cupping your face with his hand. "You're alright?"

You lift your head to kiss him, a big smile hopping onto your face. "More than alright."

"Good," Arthur says, kissing you back, and you reach down between the two of you.

"Come here, big boy."

Arthur moans when you grab his cock, and when he tries to protest, you kiss him and hold on to his neck. This time, it's you who doesn't give him a chance to move, your hand sneaking into his hair.

Arthur curses against your lips as you tuck at a few strands and his cock pulses in your hand. He buries his face against your neck, his hips bucking, and finally, everything goes quiet.

You both take slow breaths before Arthur lies down next to you, staring up into the trees.

"You know, we could have done that months ago," you say, unable to keep the snide out of your voice.

Arthur huffs. It's a single, somewhat defeated sound coming from deep within. "I admit it, I'm an idiot."

You turn to him, running your hand over his chest. "It's my fault, too. I could have been more forward instead of waiting until even Micah made a move."

"I said no Micah," Arthur groans.

"What? If it wasn't for him, you never would have made a move," you tease. "You should thank-"

Arthur moves over so fast that you barely see it before his lips seal yours.

"I thank Micah in hell," he growls, fury in his eyes. "And I think I said no more Micah talk."

"Fine," you say, rolling your eyes, but you can't help the tingling feeling that his voice sends all over your body. "I'll shut up if you make me."

Arthur laughs and leans over you, his lips almost touching yours. He grabs a strand of your hair, letting it run through his fingers. "I think I know just the way to do that."

#arthur morgan x female reader #rdr2 smut #rdr2 fanfic #fulfilled requests #my writing #nsft

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sunshineneedsaplacetokeephernsfw · 3 years ago

Text

Immortal - 1, Introduction (kinktober)

Kaminari Denki - Electricity

Warnings: 18+ (minor dni), non-consensual touching, electricity, creepy Denki, running, not edited

Word count: 3,185 (this is longer than all the other parts)

Masterlist

Part 1 | Next

October

The month that had become dedicated to stories and decorations on store shelves that ranged from spooky to creepy. But there was a strange unsettled feeling resting in the air this year. You felt it in the cool breeze and the whispers as people talked about the missing heroes from the past two years.

It was hard to believe the year was almost over. Especially when it felt like it had only just started, but here you were. You checked the clock and found your shift was done. You promptly wrapped up what you were doing and practically skipped out, with a book in hand. On your way out, your ear caught snippets of a conversation.

"It's horrible what happened."

"I wonder if it's going to happen again this year."

Right.

Two years ago, in October, the famous incident occurred when several students from U.A. went missing during a mission they had all been on. No one could ever find a single trace of them.

You pondered on it as you walked on the sidewalk with your book tucked under your arm. The sky was a deep blue and the air you breathed in was crisp and refreshing. And you were off work for the rest of the day. Which meant you could finally read more of the book that had been sitting on your counter for the past month. And it was a perfect day to read outside.

But you couldn’t stop recalling the strange, seemingly related event that happened last year. The next year after the disappearance, also October, two more heroes who had only just recently graduated from U.A. vanished the same way. It was also around that time when they realized that the villains Shigaraki and Dabi never showed their faces again, and the League of Villains seemed to be looking for them.

However horrible the disappearances, it soon faded into past news and life went on like nothing had ever happened. However, when the calendar changed to October once more, everyone was on edge. The heroes seemed more cautious, the public held their breath in anticipation.

You did your best not to care. It put a sick feeling in your stomach. Hopefully your book would manage to distract you.

Upon finding a nice bench, with a view of the nearby forest, you sat down with a content sigh and flipped the book open. Thankfully, it worked. You slipped into the story, hardly even noticing when you flipped the page or even when the clouds began to block out the sun. You only stopped when it became nearly too dark to read the page. You looked up.

Night had fallen. Shadows stretched and covered everything like a blanket. The only bit of natural light was a dim blue that was sure to fade soon enough.

Your heart beat fast. You closed your book and started in the direction of your apartment. There were always stories. Stories you knew were real. Stories that you'd hear all throughout the whole year, about people staying out too late at night and running into the wrong people. Real monsters.

This was your plan until you spotted somethin- no, someone moving. In the darkness, it took you a moment to see them more clearly. Someone in black and gray from head to toe, not a single bit of skin showing. And one in yellow, a top hat, and a theater mask. It took a moment, but you recognized these two as villains. You stumbled back. They were on the news once, and now they were there. You could see them. They could see you if they looked, they just hadn't yet. Or had they?

Your hands shook. Your limbs were frozen for a few precious seconds. Seconds that you could have used to get away. You ran to the forest. It was the first place you thought of. Maybe you could hide in the trees if they followed you. It was certainly a better option than running in the middle of the street.

The shadows swallowed you. You rushed past the tall trees that loomed over you. Twigs snapped beneath you. The sound of your own terrified breathing filled your ears. So loud, you thought everyone could hear.

The thought of actually stopping to hide finally occurred to you. You ducked behind a tree, hoping it was wide enough to completely hide you. Your eyes darted everywhere. You stopped breathing, praying that you wouldn't hear the sound of footsteps approaching. Nothing. Just the wind in the trees above. The leaves were so dark they looked more black than the sky above you.

Suddenly, your eye caught something that you missed. It was large. You jumped, as if some primal instinct were prepared for a giant monster. It didn’t move. You squinted and let out the breath you were holding.

It was a mansion. There were no lights on inside of it, and the wood was so dark it almost blended in. You never heard about this being here.

You wondered if anyone lived in it. Maybe they could help you. Though, it thankfully seemed like you weren’t being followed. It would be easy to just walk up and get a closer look. With a hand against the tree, you considered your options, to stay or check it out.

Your curiosity won the day.

You stayed low, prepared to dive behind a tree or bush, or duck underneath the mansion porch's railing. Almost every sound was amplified in your ear, making you jump. Which included the sounds even you were making.

The door wasn't locked. It swung open with ease, seemingly inviting you in.

You were considering whether you should enter, when you heard a distant, deep voice behind you. Your heart leaped from out of your chest. Following the voice, now another one, were footsteps. Without a second thought, you dashed inside and closed the door.

The entrance was large and open. Two staircases across from you. Two rooms to the left and right. You stepped into the left room to peer through one of the windows. You walked closer and closer to it. But no matter how close you looked, even when your nose was nearly against the cold glass, you could only see black. You stepped back in confusion.

It was the moment that you heard the door opening that you realized there was nowhere to truly hide in the left room. You quietly ran and dove under the table in the right room. Probably a dining room. The old carpet was rough against your elbows propping you up. You willed yourself to stop breathing as you watched their feet slowly tread in.

"I don't remember this mansion wasn't here last time we searched here," one said.

The other closed the door behind him.

"Yeah. This place is cool, but a little creepy. It's old and boring!"

"You don't suppose this mysterious mansion would have anything to do with Shigaraki's and Dabi's disappearance?"

"Hopefully, definitely not! Everyone's been looking for them for a long time. But I think the voice behind the screen cares more about Shigaraki."

You couldn't hold your breath anymore. You tried to be as quiet as you possibly could, but the small amount of air you allowed yourself just made you breathe faster and heart race. What were they doing here? Still looking for Shigaraki? You resisted the urge to peek up at them. If you could see them, they could see you. But somehow even looking at just their feet filled you with anxiety. Jumping every time one seemed to walk towards you. You wished the table was lower. That there was a long tablecloth that would hide you. That they wouldn’t see you.

"We should tell Kurogiri about this. Let's just leave."

"I agree." A moment passed. He tapped his foot against the floor. "I seem to not have a signal here."

A few seconds and some rustling. "Me neither. I'll go out and make the call."

His heavy steps left, leaving the other to wait behind, but only for a second.

"Um, you might need to see this. We're screwed."

"Hm?" He promptly left, leaving you alone.

You considered getting up and running away. But where would you hide? Would you be fast enough to hide somewhere else? Maybe you could open a win-

"How… did this happen?"

"I don't know! I just walked out and saw the ground wasn't there anymore! Or the trees or anything!"

You barely concealed a gasp. The door slammed shut and you saw two pairs of feet walk in once more. They debated for what felt like hours. Your nerves were shot and it felt like your elbows had rugburn. Finally, they walked up the stairs. You waited just a little longer until you heard a door closed. And even longer, until you were sure.

You slid yourself out from under the table. That couldn't be true, right? You ran to the door on your tippy toes, wincing every time you made the slightest sound. The door opened after a gentle twist.

You looked out. And sure enough. There was nothing beyond the porch but an endless black. Not the kind of black when everything's too dark to see. Even then, the shadows had depth. This.. seemed to stretch on forever.

You rushed back in and grabbed a vase on a wooden stand. Fragile white with turquoise lines that formed diamonds. You almost felt bad for what you were about to do. You lowered the vase to the dark, one hand on the floor board while the other reached down as far as you could with the vase in hand.

The vase never touched the ground. With a sigh, you let go of it. It dropped and dropped. Fell and fell, slowly spinning… until you couldn’t see it anymore. You listened for a crash, some sign that it reached the bottom, but the only sound was your own breath.

No bottom in sight.

This had… this had to just be some sort of quirk. Some sort of… defense for someone living there. It was the only explanation. That had to be it. You weren't trapped there with no way out, right?

You sat up. You cautiously glanced into the room before stepping in. You hadn’t noticed that it should be too dark to see anything. But somehow you could, like dim light coming from a moon that didn't exist.

A red carpet led to the staircase, then split to go up each set of stairs. Between the two sets of stairs was a book on a stand. One you hadn’t noticed.

You opened up a window and looked out. The void was still there. Still wrapping around the mansion. The only thing that existed now was you and this house. And the villains.

You wrestle with your pocket while dashing to a dark corner beside a table, and ripped your phone out. It nearly fell out of your hands as you turned it on and dialed the first contact you saw. Dial tone. The number was unavailable. You texted your parents. The text couldn't get through. Zero bars. You could get onto social media or make a Google search. But you could post or message anyone. Not one word, not on a single forum.

Your hands trembled. You ran one through your hair, grabbed onto the roots, and pulled. It didn’t even hurt. Nothing to distract you from your situation.

What to do. What to do. Well, hiding there was doing nothing good. Maybe you could search for a way out. Or find the owner and tell them what had happened.

There was no way you were going through the dooring up the stairs. You wanted to avoid the villains at all costs. You picked the door on ground level to the right. Book shelves were lined against the wall. There was no dust, but something gave you the feeling they hadn't been used in a long time. No lights, but strangely lit like the room before. You walked through the next door. A bedroom. The bed was sloppily made. Maybe it was the lack of people, but something unsettled you. Nothing felt quite right. But perhaps this was reasonable considering nothing else about the mansion was normal.

You reached for the knob of yet another door when you heard footsteps on the other side. That was your chance. You should have seen who it was, if they could have helped you. But there had been almost no real sign of anyone being in the mansion up until then. Even with the used bed, what if the villains had found another way downstairs? What if they were about to catch you?

You turned and made a dash. Through every door you'd been through so far. You should have just hid under the bed, but you didn't think of it at the time. You just wanted to get as far as you could.

When you got back to the entrance, your heart dropped in horror when you saw the villains emerging from the doors at the top of the stairs. They hastily ran out of it and firmly closed it behind them.

"Who is that!?" The louder of the two said.

Blood pounded in your ears. You didn’t stop. You were already opening the door in the left room and pulled the door shut behind you, still running.

How did they get there? Were they actually following you? Was it someone else you had run from? Was any of this even real?

You lost track of how many rooms you had run into. This one was hardly any different from the others. Same dark red wallpaper. There was a wardrobe, but did that really make a difference? You stopped in front of a window. Black. The moment you stopped was the moment your exhaustion hit you. Your legs and chest ached. You glanced at the door quickly then stared at the window.

Was this real? Was this all some sick dream?

You opened up the window.

If this was a dream and you fell, you would wake up.

You leaned out, placing your hands on the farm and beginning to lift a knee. The whole time you just stared into the nothingness.

"Woah, that's not a good idea," a cheerful voice behind you said, pulling you back by your waist.

Your back hit the stranger's chest. You twisted your head back to see who it was. His blond hair was long enough to reach his stubble covered jawline. He looked to be in his twenties, and was familiar for some reason. None of the villains, fortunately.

You breathed a much needed, heavy sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness you're not them."

“Nope, I’m Kaminari. Kaminari Denki. Wow! It’s been forever since I’ve talked with someone new. Hi, I’m Denki. Oops I already said that.”

You raised an eyebrow at his behavior. He held you a little too tightly. It was then you noticed you were too close together, with his crotch against your rump. You, embarrassed, gently pushed him away and he let go.

“Nice to meet you too. Kaminari? That sounds familiar.”

“Maybe you heard of me from the U.A. Sports Festival?”

“U.A…? Wait! Chargebolt? One of the U.A. students that went missing two years ago!??”

“The one and only.” He puffed his chest out.

“But.. what? That’s not possible. You look like you’re twenty-five or something.”

“You’re right, I am! It’s been so long since I had someone else to talk to! Did I already say that?”

He held your hand and pulled it close to him. Electricity sparked, going straight into your hand and making you jump.

“Sorry.” He smiled with concern in his eyes. “I have a little bit of a hard time controlling it now. Especially when I’m this excited.” His other hand reached towards you.

You stepped back and pulled your hand away. “Don’t touch me, please.”

He tilted his head, like he didn’t understand. But he didn’t come any closer.

"By the way, who were you talking about earlier? I’m not who?"

"Villains! They came in here after I ran in to hide from them."

“Really? What did they look like?”

“Twice and Mr. Compress. Twice has a black and gray suit, and Mr. Compress has a top hat, a mask, and a yellow jacket. Did you see them?”

“Yeah, I did. Actually, I saw them coming this way.” He pointed towards the door he had just come from.

“What!? Oh no…” your head whipped around, eyes scanning everywhere for a place to hide.

“I know a place to hide! In here.” Kaminari opened the wardrobe.

He quickly stepped in and moved to make room for you. You slid the hanging coats and clothing to one side and closed the door with just a small crack to see. It was too cramped for you. It was uncomfortably warm, but you would take it.

Your heart pounded in your ears. It was hard to see anything in the room with the small slit. Even then, you prayed they wouldn’t see you through the crack. If they did, you’d be finished with nowhere to run.

His fingers were against your waist, something you hardly even noticed because of the adrenaline. But they began rubbing circles into you, small tingles of electricity tickled you. One slipped down to the dip where your legs attached to the rest of your body. He pressed against your butt, at first you assumed it was simply him adjusting and the lack of room, but he didn't move. In fact, he pushed himself flush against you. You felt something warm and hard between your cheeks through the fabric of yours and his pants. If you tried to back away, the wardrobe door would open more, and the villains might come in any time.

"Please stop," you whispered.

He didn’t stop. He rubbed his head against the back of yours. He breathed in contently.

His hand rubbing you fell to your hip, then up again, into your shirt. You felt him drag against your soft skin. Reaching up to your bra. He made a clumsy effort to slip beneath it before squeezing and massaging it with the bra still on. Tiny sparks from his fingertips only drew your attention to this. You jolted when one ran over your nipple.

"Hey," you tried to sound angry, but it came out as a whine.

Much to your dismay, you felt your core growing unbearably warm. You wanted to stop him, but you froze. Your breaths were heavy. It didn’t help when he dipped his hand into your pants. Electricity somehow teased your clit through your panties. You barely held the moan in your throat.

"We can't be doing this," you said as a final attempt, "What if they hear?"

His lips fluttered against your skin. "Who will hear?"

"What do you mean? The villains… they are…" Did he actually see them coming?

He chuckled and ran a finger against your waistband. "We're gonna have some fun."

#kinktober #kinktober 2021 #kaminari x reader #denki x reader #kaminari denki x reader #denki x reader smut #smut #tw:noncon #I finally got it done

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kaz11283 · 4 years ago

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Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #loki avengers #loki daily #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki x reader #loki fluff #loki x y/n #lokilaufeyson #loki one shot #loki (marvel)#loki imagine #loki masterlist #loki and thor

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8uggestionamplifie6 · 3 years ago

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I've been thinking. Would Anakin and Padme actually be good parents?????

Like, think about this realistically.

Anakin already has a kark ton of problems. For one, he does NOT know how to love unpossessively. Two, he is already super controlling and kinda toxic(?).

If he leaves the Jedi Order to be with Padme and the twins, he would never learn the difference between attachment and love.

(And yes there is a freaking difference. Love is when you care about someone to the point where you want them to be happy, even if it's not with you. Attachment is when you 'love' someone so much that you can't stand the thought of that person being with someone else that isn't you. There is a very clear difference. Even George Lucas said it in a few interviews.)

Like, I'm pretty sure Obi-Wan tried to teach Anakin the difference, but Anakin just never understood it or didn't want to accept it. Anakin wasn't raised in the Temple. He wasn't taught Jedi beliefs and the difference between love and attachment on a daily basis by the creche masters. Instead, he had been freed from slavery, separated from his mother, Qui-Gon got killed, and he experienced a MASSIVE culture shock once he was accepted into the Temple, and he had been paired with an (although good) unwilling master AKA Obi-Wan who only accepted Anakin as his student because of Qui-Gon's final words.

Yes, I know, they do eventually develop an actual strong relationship, but the main reason Obi-Wan fought for Anakin to become his padawan in the first place was because of Qui-Gon. The only reason why Anakin was even accepted into the Order was because of Qui-Gon and later, Obi-Wan's insistence to keep his promise to Qui-Gon.

(Also? Really Qui-Gon? You had nothing to say to your Padawan who was basically your son? Even when you appeared in the Clone Wars, you hardly even cared about Obi-Wan, you just obsessing over Anakin. Like, I get that he's the 'Chosen One' or whatever, but I don't care. You don't treat your apprentice/son like that. And then you had the audacity to force a guilty and crying Obi-Wan who was holding your dying body to promise to train Anakin Skywalker, who Obi-Wan didn't even like for that matter? Like? Bish, you ungrateful nerfherder.)

As I said, Anakin doesn't understand how to love like securely and non-possessively. He was probably taught it by Obi-Wan and the rest of the Jedi, but that information clearly went through one ear and straight out the other.

Maybe Anakin would be a good parent for the first few years of Leia and Luke's lives, but the moment puberty hits? BAM! Helicopter parent right there!

This mainly concerns Leia because in Anakin's mind, she's a girl, she's not a trained force-sensitive, so she can't protect herself, and she's HIS daughter, she shouldn't do this or that, she can't have this or that. She can't have male friends, she can't hang out with any guys, etc. Because Anakin doesn't want Leia to not spend time with him or not be there constantly. He's controlling and he wants to control her life. Like I said, she is HIS daughter, not her own person (scroll all the way to the bottom for an explanation). He'd likely refuse to let Leia go to any parties, talk to any boys, or even have a basic social life.

Things might be a little different for Luke. Anakin might not be as controlling but will still be controlling to some degree.

Moreover, Padme would NOT reign him in or even stop him. She's already shown in AOTC and ROTS that she is perfectly willing to make excuses for any and all of Anakin's bad terrible decisions even though the evidence is right there in front of her face.

Like, she seriously tryna make me believe that killing a ton of innocent people in the Tusken village is good? Sure, maybe SOME of them might have deserved it, but all of them? No, they didn't, especially not the poor innocent kids. Like, Padme, is you good in thy head or not? You ain't see no red flags?🚩🚩🚩 anybody?

Also, in ROTS, she knows that Anakin is fully capable and willing to kill innocent people if he believes someone he loves is in danger/dead, but when Obi-Wan tells her what Anakin did in the Temple to the Younglings, she tryna act all slick like, "I don't be knowing what you talkin about", even though she clearly does. She seen Anakin confess what he did to the Tuskens and now she tryna lie? And on her death bed, she tryna convince me and Obi-Wan that Darth Vader is still good, like, did the dude NOT just strangle you and kill a bunch of innocent people?

I may be dumb, but I'm not THAT dumb, okay? I understand what murder is. Anakin just straight up shanked all of the Jedi in the Temple with the 501st.

Like, bruh, I get you smart and all, Padme, and you a senator and all, but I don't know if have any more brain cells than I do money when it comes to Anakin. And I have 0 dollars right now.

So, like, no, I don't think Padme would stop Anakin in the slightest. She'd probably make more excuses for him, like "that's how he shows his love for you" or "just get over it, Leia" or even "he's your father, let him do what he wants".

In short, the freaking helicopter parenting would continue and Luke and Leia are gonna be trapped because they ain't no trained Jedi. They can't do shit and they are still minors.

Leia/Luke might even run away from home or even Fall (*extreme case**very extreme and unlikely but still possible*) 'cause they are force-sensitive y'know.

Freaking Court might even get involved. Some lawyers might also be called up. Luke and Leia better make sure to dial the numbers of some therapists for their parents, too, and also maybe a mind healer. Neither of your parents are straight in their heads.

Anyways, none of yall gotta agree with me 'cause this is just my opinion, but at least look at it from my point of view first before you hate on me in the comments. Like, I really hope that Anakin and Padme would be good parents but I just don't see it working out (????).

I hghly recommend this fanfic for any interested reader. It explains the problems of helicopter parenting from Anakin very nicely, so please read it. Also, please read some of the comments.

There's more!!! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Let me share something:

"A desperate parent hovers; a good parent guides."

Every parent needs to learn to let go of their kids eventually. The kids are going to leave the nest sooner or later and the parent needs to understand this.

Maybe, during the first 15 years or so, the parent can hover, but once that kid starts wanting to be independent, you gotta start giving that kid some space.

Like a bird, they gotta spread their wings and they can't do that if they stay cooped up in the nest for the rest of their lives. No baby bird is gonna fly immediately after they gain their wings and feathers. They gotta stretch them out first, do a few practice runs, and then they'll finally know how to fly.

Same thing for your kids. If they want independence but you know that they can't handle it yet, just give it to them. They gotta learn somehow. They gotta practice. And you just gotta be there to catch them if they fall.

You can stop hovering and instead start guiding. Because your son/daughter isn't just YOUR child anymore—they're becoming their own person and you need to realize and accept that. They're becoming an adult and your equal, so you gotta stop treating them like they're just your kid. Bc they're both your kid and their own person and you gotta realize that.

You can't keep your kids in the nest forever. Sooner or later, they're gonna rebel against your hovering and they'll cut you out of their lives bc you're being a toxic influence on them and they know it. Then, despite all your desperate hovering to keep your kids safe and in the nest, YOU are going to be the reason why your kids don't want you in their lives anymore.

You just gotta let go.

Yes, you can hover like a desperate parent for the first ten and a half years of your kids' lives, but eventually you're gonna have to stop doing that. Because they aren't dumb ten year olds anymore that need your constant hovering. Now they're teens and now they're adults who are experiencing the real world.

And the only thing you can do is accept that your kid has grown up. Or they will grow up. Or they are growing up.

You just need to cross the line from hovering to guiding.

You gotta let go of the bike sometime and let your kid ride on their own without the training wheels.

You just gotta cross that line. Maybe it'll be a little hard, but when was parenting ever easy? I know that it'll hurt to have to let your kids go, but you just gotta trust them.

You have already spent the last nearly two decades loving them, caring for them, and teaching them all you know. You just have to hope that they'll keep your lessons and teachings close to their hearts and that they'll listen to the occasional advice or two.

You just gotta trust your kid and your parenting skills, and cross that line.

Your son/daughter has become their own person. And the only thing you can do is be there for them, be ready to support them, be ready to give some of your wisdom, and trust that they'll succeed.

For helicopter parents, however, they never cross that line between hovering and guiding, and I'm not sure Anakin would be able to either.

#star wars #sw anakin #anakin skywalker #padme lives au #padme amidala #leia skywalker #luke skywalker #Im not sure if anakin and padme would be good parents #like its possible but realistically? I dont think theyd be good parents #like anakin will probably be kicked out of the order (because he married a senator AS A JEDI and didn’t think to leave)#he just ruined the Order's stance on remaining neutral bc now people are gonna ask if they were neutral to naboo #the political ramifications for it is insane so check out my account bc i got a post about it #anakin would likely never learn how to love UNpossessivly and become a helicopter parent #and padme wouldnt stop him because . she already make a shit ton of excuses for him in aotc when anakin #murks innocent CHILDREN and she's like <; he JUST MURDERED PEOPLE AND ITS OK????#padme is an enabler for the most part and i know she would not stop anakin if he became a helicopter parent when she already doesn't care #leia and luke would grow up in such a toxic environment #yes you dont have to agree but just think about it logically #anakin already don't know how to love securely/unpossessively and if he leaves the Order #he still aint gonna learn and padme aint gonna reign him in #i feel so bad for luke and leia. at least in OT they had good parents #Bail is Best Dad^tm #Obi-Wan you gotta sue this couple and take them kids away. You Bail and Breha can keep'em. Y'all better at being parents #which is weird cause none ya got kids but thats okay luke and leia can be your kids #obi wan kenobi

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andguesswhat · 3 years ago

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The fool on the hill - Chapter 6

If you want to know what happened on the hill..

(on the Archive)

The hill

"Do you mind if I go for a little jog out there to keep me warm?" Tom asked Lea, pointing to a hill a little off the set.

The production assistant shook her head. "No, you go ahead. I'll come get you when we get back to shooting. You've got thirty minutes, tops."

"Thanks!"

Tom smiled. He couldn't wait to get moving, it was cold as hell and the wind was blowing mercilessly through the abandoned mine they were shooting in.

Sophia didn't seem to mind being blanketed in layers of down jackets and getting a hot mug of coffee in her hand; but him, he hated standing in the cold doing nothing, he had to move.

So he put on his headphones to listen to the music Nathalie had given him and started jogging.

Up the hill ...then back down again.

It was a hard to get purchase with the gravel and he definitely didn't have the right shoes on, but Tom didn't mind, he was happy to run. The hill was steeper than he had expected, but he enjoyed the burn it gave him, a welcome change from the chilly set.

The music was good and he lost himself in it, just running around the hill. Up, then down.

It didn't take long for his mind to wander to Owen and he paused and took some deep breaths, trying to stop the thoughts, but he wasn't surprised that they quickly came back.

Owen had been in his mind for weeks now.

He had been so happy to work with him. He was smart, compassionate, and funny, and Tom loved his curiosity and commitment.... All the little ideas they came up with during the shoot were just so much fun. On top of all that, the connection they had was a gift that Tom couldn't take for granted. They could talk about anything. And that meant anything, really. And they did.

And he loved the way Owen smiled at him, winked at him, and flirted with him. Ever since that day they'd played tennis, Tom had felt that the flirting was becoming highly.... sexual. At least for him. And no wonder - hearing Owen grunt on the court and seeing him naked in the shower... the images came to his mind all by themselves.

Because Tom thought that Owen had a really nice body.

And that he wouldn't mind touching it.

And licking it.

Every part of it, actually.

Especially that prominent line around his hip.

Yeah, he would like that.

In his imagination, he had licked it more than once, and ended up licking something else. In his imagination, of course.

He wasn't sure why he hadn't made the first move yet.

Maybe because he thought Owen would.

Maybe that made him a little insecure.

Or maybe they just hadn't found the right moment yet.

They were busy filming and hadn't had any scenes together in the last few days.

Tom missed Owen. Just being around him. Brainstorming. Laughing. Flirting.

Suddenly, Tom felt a hand on his shoulder.

He thought it was Lea, but he was more than surprised to see it was -

"Owen!"

His face instantly lit up, his heart began to pound and his whole body was flooded with a sudden feeling of warmth.

Oh God, how he loved seeing him.

"What are you doing here?" he fumbled to take the earbuds out and looked at his.. friend.

Owen shrugged and smiled cheekily. "I thought I'd check out the set."

Tom just smiled back.

He couldn’t say anything, but just smiled happily at Owen.

He knew he should say something to keep things from getting weird, but he didn't know what.

There were too many questions in his head. After all, why was Owen really here? It was a boring set, it was cold....

"God, it's fucking cold here," Owen interrupted his thoughts as he rubbed his hands together. "Let's jog some more, shall we?"

Tom was still smiling, still unable to speak properly. "Yeah..." He tried to get that probably stupid smile off his face, but it was hopeless. "Yeah... Sure!" Well, at least he could manage that.

So they jogged down the hill.

Side by side.

Both smiling.

And Tom felt like a silly teenager, giddy to just be around the person he had a crush on.

When they got back to the bottom of the hill, Owen turned to Tom and said, "Okay, that didn't work so well for me. I'm still cold. How about a little sprint challenge?" He slapped Tom on the chest, smiled challengingly at him "Show me what you can do!" and just sprinted off, up the hill, without any warning. Or without waiting.

Tom was in no position to react that quickly. But after losing at tennis, Tom really felt the need to defend his honor, so he sprinted after Owen, giving it his all.

But why the hell was Owen so fast?

If he wasn't warm after that sprint, he didn't know how he could do it. He was almost out of breath!

He tried to get past Owen, but he didn't know how.

So he just grabbed Owen by the waist in the last few meters to push him out of the way, but the hill was steep, the gravel too slippery, and the sole of his shoe too smooth, so he slipped, fell, and dragged Owen down with him.

Hhn!

And now Owen was buried under him.

They were both panting heavily.

Their bodies pressed against each other.

And Tom had to admit, that wasn't bad at all. He wished he could stay in this moment forever.

"Your start wasn't really fair, was it?" Tom gasped in mock seriousness and braced himself with his hands.

Owen turned, still lying under Tom, and smiled at him. "Yes, it was. With your model legs, you could have easily caught me."

Model legs? Tom once again didn't know what to say.

So he continued to gasp.

And just looked at Owen.

How Owen looked at him. Attentively.

Smiled at him. Tenderly.

His mouth slightly open.

He could hear him breathing.

Felt his chest moving up and down....

He couldn't believe how beautiful Owen was.

Tom bit his lower lip.

He felt himself getting a hard-on, lying on top of Owen like this.

But he didn't want to get up at any cost, this was just too good, so he tried to move his hip, tried to get his leg -

When suddenly he felt Owen's hard-on too.

God.

Time stood still.

Just them looking at each other, still panting....

And Tom knew this was the moment.

This was it.

So he rubbed their hard-ons together lightly.

God, yes.

And it felt even better the second time, when he heard a small moan coming out of Owen's mouth.

But that was nothing compared to how it felt when Owen's hand slid down to his ass, kneading and squeezing it before going down between his ass a little to grab his leg and pull it up slightly.

Tom tried to stifle a moan.

He couldn't tell how much it turned him on. Being grabbed like that while their hard-ons were still pressed against each other.

As much as he had loved women in his life, Tom was sure, he could only feel something like this with the same sex.

The same energy...

The same power...

Just being on the same level.

Owen slid his hand into Tom's hair and slowly, very slowly pulled him down... so they could savor this moment of absolute tension.... before their lips would finally meet....

"Tooom!" Tom heard his name being called.

No.

"Tooom!" Lea was calling him.

No!

Tom closed his eyes for a moment.

He felt Owen's hand slip from his neck.

No!

It wasn't real.

This couldn't be true.

He sighed. And looked at Owen.

Who looked at him compassionately.

No! He wanted to kiss Owen, he needed to kiss him, feel his lips...

Again he sighed. And surrendered.

One last time he rubbed against Owen's hard-on, straightened with a flourish, and let out a frustrated growl before shouting down the hill.

"I'm coming!"

Owen chuckled beneath him. "Are you?"

"Not funny." Tom held out his hand for Owen to stand up.

But Owen hesitated for a moment.

"I feel like I’m always looking up to you," he said, smiling up at Tom. "I like it. It's appropriate."

Tom's whole body softened like pudding. And he wished it wasn't.

Because yes, it was just a joke, just a reference, of course....

But still...

And once again, he had absolutely run out of words, and he really needed to change that. Even when he somehow liked the silence when Owen was here.

Together they walked down the hill. And despite his frustration with this situation, Tom was genuinely happy. He couldn't remember when he had felt more comfortable with another person by his side than with Owen. Just walking down a hill.

And even though Tom couldn't quite grasp what had just happened, he knew he would never forget it.

Owen grinned at him. "By the way, I like your hair flip. Kind of sexy. I wish I could do that too."

Tom rolled his eyes, feeling that Owen was really doing this on purpose. And yes, he was embarrassed, but what annoyed him more was that once again he didn't know how to respond.

But before he could think of anything, they were at the bottom of the hill, standing right in front of Lea.

"Are you all right?"

Tom nodded. "I just ... slipped."

Lea looked at him sternly. "Don't do that again, or I won't be able to let you off the leash next time. I don't want Kate yelling at me because you splashed your ankle or something. Okay, let's go then." She signaled him to follow her.

And as soon as Lea turned to leave, Tom turned to Owen, gave him a quick but soft lick just below his earlobe, and whispered, "I think you're sexy as hell, too."

The look Owen gave him was priceless.

Tom grinned triumphantly.

There. Well, who was speechless now?

#the fool on the hill #chapter 6 #rpf #hiddlewow #widdlewow #widdlewow fanfiction #tom hiddleston/owen wilson

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holidaywishes · 4 years ago

Text

I don't get you...

Requested: 👍

Summary/Request: Can I request just some like filthy smut with Fred? Maybe sugar daddy Freddie? But like there’s actual feelings involved and maybe the reader flirts with Auston and it makes him jealous then he tells them he loves them then fucks the living daylights out of them...or something along those lines

Warning: smut as per request, some angst, a little bit of fluff

Author’s Note: So, anon, I'm not sure this is exactly what you wanted. I went through a lot as I was writing this, so that's part of the reason why it took forever to get this out. But yeah, it started out as something short and filthy and then moved to something exceptionally long and fluffy and I nearly forgot that I was supposed to be writing smut. Also, I'm really in a ✨summer vibes✨ kind of mood lately and I really want to go to the beach but because I can’t until the borders open, I guess I’ll write about it. Hope this can give everyone a bit of a reprieve from everything for a little bit! Stay Golden, loves! <3

masterlist

the other masterlist

Freddie’s P.O.V

You never expected her to agree to the arrangement, you didn’t think she was the type, but you weren’t looking for a relationship at the time. She told you she’d never had a sugar daddy before but she was happy to try it out

“I’ve met people who’ve done it and they seem to be really happy,” she said

“Well, yeah, I would think they would be,” you joked, “a little bit of money for a little bit of pleasure...”

“That makes it sound like prostitution” she giggled and you nodded

“It’s not, I didn’t mean it like that...”

“I mean, it’s not far off, I suppose”

“But you’re okay with it?”

“I’m okay with it, but I’m curious,” she asked, “if you’re willing to spend money on me and fly me places and do literally everything a partner does... why not actually be partners?”

“I just think we’re better off doing this”

“I know,” she added, “but why?”

“My life... is a lot for a relationship. I don’t want to put anyone in a position where the fans or the media can tear them down”

“But you like me enough to do all the same stuff?”

“Yeah, just... as a secret” you admitted shyly

“Alright” she finally said, leaning in to plant a kiss on your cheek before your hands latched onto her sides to pull her closer and station her on your lap. “I have to go...” she whined and you groaned in response

“But you don’t” you laughed

“I have to do a presentation tomorrow that I have to work on”

“Skip it,” you mumbled, “you know that you don’t have to work”

“I still like to work”

“Just stay a little bit longer” you urged, kissing her neck and squeezing her hips tighter

“Freddie...” she moaned before you picked her up and carried her to your bedroom, dropping her onto the big mattress. She giggled as she bit her lip, waiting for you to lay your body against hers, “come here.”

The arrangement was simple. He wanted a warm body just not a relationship. You were in debt up to your eyeballs but you still had very, very expensive tastes and Freddie was all too eager to get you whatever you wanted. There was never any real talk about never developing feelings or what would happen if either of you eventually did but his lips fit so perfectly with yours and your bodies knew instinctively what to do for each other and the way his fingertips grazed the sensitive skin on the sides of your neck made your vision blurry and you weren’t sure how long you could keep this... simple. You were able to work enough that you were chipping away at your debt while Freddie indulged in your materialistic cravings. His gifts were relatively tame so far. Some jewellery, a few designer handbags, some very expensive lingerie, a pair of vintage Chanel stilettos that you almost never wore and when you asked why he didn’t get you Louboutin’s, he smirked and said ‘that’s what every other guy gets his girl. You deserve better than that.’ He really did know just how to say the right thing to make you feel important to him without fully taking that next step but when he started to offer bigger gifts, things started to feel different

“You can’t buy me a car!”

“Why not?”

“I barely drive!”

“Okay, what about a house?”

“I’m sorry what?”

“A house. I mean, not like a mansion but an apartment or like a cottage. By the lake...”

“That’s too much” you scoffed, fluttering around your kitchen putting away dishes and wiping off the counter before your roommate could complain that the house was a mess

“You shouldn’t have roommates. Not if you’re with me” he replied and you furrowed your brow before leaning on the cold granite of the counter

“But I’m not with you...” you corrected, “not like that. How am I supposed to explain to people how I suddenly have enough money to have a cottage by the lake when I’m still paying off student loans and credit card debts?”

“Tell them it was a super great deal!”

“Because they’ll definitely believe that” you sighed, walking over to him and pecking his cheek before he followed you to the couch

“Then say it was a gift”

“From who? Who would gift something like that to someone? Am I supposed to tell people that you’re my sugar daddy now?” you teased

“You could say you won the lottery,” he suggested but you ignored it, instead turning toward the TV and switching it on, “I mean that happens right?”

“Freddie... it’s sweet but it’s way too much” you repeated softly and he dropped it

“Come hang out with me this summer. I have a place right on the water, it’s beautiful there”

“Where?” you asked curiously

“Muskoka”

“You wanna take me to Muskoka?”

“It’s romantic there,” he added, creeping over to kiss your shoulder before his body hovered over yours and his lips slowly connected with yours, “and it’s private, too. We don’t have to worry about people interrupting us”

“People don’t interrupt us he--”

“(Y/N)!” your roommate yelled, interrupting your moment with Freddie and completely destroying your words even before she came down the stairs, Freddie putting as much space in between the two of you as to not give anything away. “Hey, where is.. oh sorry, I didn’t realize we had company”

“Stacey, this is Freddie,” you smiled awkwardly, hoping your face wasn’t too flushed, “Freddie, this is my roommate, Stacey.”

“Nice to meet you” Freddie greeted politely

“Yeah, you too” Stacey replied, almost suspiciously and you scoffed

“So what were you looking for?”

“Huh?” she was clearly lost in thought now, “oh right! That big bag of sunscreen, where did it go? I thought it was in the closet in the bathroom but I didn’t see it. Did you move it?”

“I did,” you admitted, smiling as you stood up, walking to the bathroom upstairs to show her, “it was just taking up so much space so I took them out of the bag and put them under the sink separately”

“Ahh, okay. Thanks”

“No problem,” you said, turning to walk downstairs

“Wait!” she exclaimed, stopping you, “who is that?”

“Freddie?”

“Yeah, I mean... are you two dating? Why have I never met him before?” she rambled before her eyes went wide and panic rushed through your chest, “is this a first date?” you exhaled in relief, laughing in response

“No, it’s not a date. First or otherwise. He’s just a friend, I met him at a work party last year”

“Oh, right...” you could tell she didn’t believe you but you weren’t going to try to argue, fearing if you did that you might let the truth slip. She finally let you head back downstairs but before you reached the bottom, your phone chimed

“Had to go” Freddie’s text read and you sighed before dropping your head

“You didn’t have to...” you replied

“I did but the offer still stands. You, me, the lake, Muskoka. Come”

“I’ll think about it.”

Freddie’s P.O.V

After weeks of constant begging, (Y/N) agreed to go to the cottage with you over the summer and it was perfect. You almost never left the bedroom and when you did, it was to take a drive into the city to get a few groceries and then you’d lock yourself back in the house, drawing the curtains to block out the light. After that, she asked to go back the next summer and you were more than happy to oblige

“You liked it huh?” you teased as the two of you lay in bed

“I had a lot of fun,” she smirked, lifting your hand up so she could trace her finger along your palm mindlessly, “pretending like the world didn’t exist”

“You sure you don’t want me to just.. get you your own?”

“No,” she scoffed, “I like yours. As yours, don’t think about giving it to me”

“Fine” you laughed at her figuring you out before you could even get your suggestion out.

“Fine” she mocked, rolling over to kiss your cheek and lay on your chest, tracing her fingers across your skin

“God you’re beautiful” you exhaled as you brushed her hair away from her face

“YO ‘ZILLA!” you heard Auston yell as he crashed through your front door

“Shit!” you panicked

“What is he doing here?” she asked in a hushed voice

“I don’t know, I thought he was gonna be playing golf all afternoon”

“FREDDIE?” Auston yelled again

“Just get dressed, I’ll go talk to him”

“Okay” she laughed

“Yo, Tony, what are you doing here?”

“Hey!” He exclaimed, “I came to hang out with you... am I bothering you?”

“No of course not. I just thought you’d be at the course for most of the day...”

“Yeah.. it wasn’t all that exciting today. What have you—”

“So I think that Shelley was right!” (Y/N) yelled as she came down the stairs, interrupting Auston with some lie that you couldn’t even follow. “I think we did do an event down the street,” you smirked, watching her eye-line go past you and to Auston, “oh, hi...”

“Hi...” he hesitated

“I’m (Y/N)”

“Auston. It’s nice to meet you” he greeted and you watched as the two of them stared at each other

“Matts, (Y/N) is a friend of a friend and she wanted to see a vantage point... from upstairs”

“Not a vantage point. See, I work at an event planning company, I’m an intern but I help with a lot of events and one of them was an MLSE fundraiser and, Shelley, my friend that’s also Freddie’s friend,” she rambled and you had to stop yourself from laughing, “she said that Fred’s apartment was nearby but I didn’t believe it...”

“Right,” he smirked, “well, now you know right?”

“Right,” she smiled brightly, “but hey. I should go, I have stuff but thanks, Fred, for letting me look. It was nice to meet you, Auston.”

“Yeah.. nice to meet you, too. Maybe I’ll see you again?”

“Now now,” you intervened, “no flirting”

“Bye Freddie” she chuckled before walking out the door.

“She’s cute,” Auston said to you and you could sense that he was trying to get more information, “young for you though huh?”

“We’re not dating” you tried

“So she really was just here to scope out the view?” he teased

“I guess so” you tried, making your way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water

“You wouldn’t mind, then, if I asked her out?” he asked, forcing you to sigh at his incessant attempts not to drop the subject

“No, go for it...”

“I will” he smirked and that was the end of the conversation. You found out a few days later that he had actually asked (Y/N) out for dinner but she told him she had to think about it

“What am I supposed to say, Freddie?” she asked, following you around your apartment, her annoyance apparent as she waited for an answer

“You should say yes” you replied

“Is that what you want?”

“I mean you said it yourself, we’re not together. We’re not dating, we just sleep together every once in a while and I buy you stuff. I don’t care who you date...”

“It’s not tha..” she stammered, shaking her head hastily, “it’s a little more complicated than just me dating someone else. This isn’t just some guy you’ve never met before who wants to take me out on a date. This is your teammate, your friend. He has a key to your apartment. You watch his dog... so it’s not as simple as what you think it is”

“I’m fine with it. We’ll still do what we do, if you want, and Auston doesn’t have to find out” you added, sitting down at the kitchen island, fidgeting with your water bottle

“And what if he does?”

“He won’t”

“You really want me to say yes?”

“If you say no, he’s going to think something is going on with us,” you admitted, “if you say yes, he won’t. Simple”

“That’s all this is?” she sneered, “I’m surprised you haven’t told him already. It’s not something that you’re ashamed of. Unless... are you ashamed of me?”

“No” you replied. She sat down slowly in the seat across from you and dropped her head to her hands before exhaling

“Fine,” you groaned, “I’ll say yes.”

It was the last thing you really wanted to do but Freddie seemed intent on you going on a date with Auston. It wasn’t awful but it didn’t feel right but the two of you stayed in touch, which created its own issues between you and Freddie, just like you knew it would. After nearly a year, you had grown a lot closer with Freddie’s teammates than you thought you would and you were starting to feel like part of the group, whether or not that was a good thing remained to be seen. It did allow you to spend time with Freddie outside of the bedroom but it led to questions about why you never carried a wallet or offered to pay for meals

“I’m all for chivalry,” Morgan chuckled, taking a sip of his drink as the server took everyone’s plates away, “but you can clearly afford to foot the bill every here and there. I’ve seen all these fancy things before, I’ve bought a few of ‘em for Tessa, so...”

“This stuff...” you stalled, gesturing to your purse and your clothes, “they’re all gifts”

“Some friends who get you those gifts” Auston laughed

“Who said they’re from friends? What about family?”

“Or a boyfriend?” he teased, your eyes darting to Freddie quickly to gauge his reaction; nothing, completely stoic

“No boyfriend. I’m not much for the ‘shower me with gifts’ kind of relationship” this comment earned a round of scoffs from the boys in front of you and you just rolled your eyes in return. Freddie offered you a ride home which you took gladly because you wanted to see where his head was at

“So...” you started before Freddie huffed

“The guys are coming out to the lake next week. You’re welcome to come but it won’t be like last year”

“Are you mad at me?” you asked, turning your body to face him

“No, why would I be mad?” he chided, keeping his eyes on the road

“I don’t know,” you replied, turning back to face the road yourself, “but I’m glad you’re not mad. I love the lake so I’m happy to go, even if it won’t be like last year...”

“Great” he sighed

“Perfect” you replied, pursing your lips as the rest of the drive was spent in silence. He drove into the underground parking lot, turning off the ignition before looking at you

“They really like you” he said and you furrowed your brow

“Yeah... I’m likeable” you joked

“It’s good,” he said, “but maybe after the lake, you should keep your distance”

“What?” you scoffed as Freddie opened the door and made his way to open your door, leaning his hands against the side of the car and caging you in lightly

“Or we need to end this arrangement”

“So, it’s an ultimatum? You or them?” he nodded, sliding his arm under your legs to pick you up and carry you upstairs. It was a strange request but you could barely concentrate on your thoughts with the way his hands began roaming your body once he set you down. After the week had passed, and you managed to patch up things with Freddie, you were on your way back to the place where you had come to know as if it were your own. You wondered how different things would feel there, with ‘the boys’ being there, and if Freddie would keep his distance from you or if the tension would be too much to bear.

Auston’s P.O.V

You spent most of your time in the water, or watching (Y/N), while everyone else seemed to find other things to occupy their time. You couldn’t believe that (Y/N) hadn’t pursued more of a relationship with you, especially when you thought the date went really well; you decided to make it your mission to get her to fall in love with you or find out if there was something else going on.

"So..." you grunted, taking a seat next to (Y/N), "how are you liking the cottage?"

"It's beautiful out here" she answered with a smile

"Isn't it though?" you said

"Are you mocking me?" she laughed

"I would never"

"You're still mad that I didn't want to date you, aren't you?" she asked, taking you a bit by surprise and you weren't really sure how honest you should be

"Why didn't you want to date me?" you said curiously, "I mean the date that we went on was good, wasn't it?"

"It was fine, yeah," she replied, unimpressed as she seemed to remember the date in her mind, "I just have a bit of a complicated situation going and I didn't feel like adding more to that. But, I'm sorry, that wasn't fair to you"

"Oh," you really were hoping that she would've made some joke about it all instead of... actually telling you the truth, but here you were. "Thank you..." you hesitated before chuckling, "I'm over it anyway. Let's just enjoy the summer, okay?"

"Yeah" she grinned. As the night drew on, Freddie got the barbeque ready while setting out snacks as Mo, Mitch and Cogs grabbed a seat around the fire.

“HEY! YOU TWO, COME HANG OUT BY THE FIRE!” Fred yelled to you and (Y/N) as the two of you stayed on the dock

"I wanna go in the water!" she yelled

"YEAH ME TOO!" you chuckled in return, seeing Freddie's distaste from where you stood before (Y/N) slipped by you and ran into the lake

"HOLY SHIT IT'S COLD!" she screamed, her body already shivering from just a few inches of water crashing against the bare skin of her legs

"What did you expect?" you scoffed, wading the water as you neared her, lowering your body so the water covered your chest

"I don't know.." she hesitated, trying her best to maintain the composure of her voice before her shivers took over, "I just didn't expect it to be that cold..."

"Well now you know" you smirked, catching her stare just as your body reached her space, letting your frame hover over hers as the two of you stood in the cold water; the waves splashing against your hips and trying their best to drag both of you into the current.

"Right" she whispered, unable to tear her eyes from yours

"Right" you returned, squatting down in front of her, your lips grazing her chest while your gaze stayed trained on her. You could feel her breathing build in her chest as your fingers traced her skin before you picked her up and she squealed

"STOP!" she laughed as you threw her over your shoulder

"What? I'm not doing anything!" you joked. She started to squirm in your grasp before eventually straightening her body which, luckily for you, meant that your face met her chest; you felt her hands rest gently on her shoulders as you shamelessly stared at her breasts before looking back up at her

"Don't do it" she breathed

"Do what?" you replied quietly

"I know what you're thinking" she said and you smirked

"No, no I don't think you do"

"Don't do it Auston..." she repeated

"You need to get used to the temperature," you replied, a grin growing on your face, "and the best way to do that is just to do it..."

"You throw me in and I'll take you down with me" she threatened but you weren't going to listen. You stopped only for a second when you heard Freddie call to the two of you and you turned around to see him on the shore. You grinned before turning back, throwing (Y/N) in the water before feeling the tug on the back of your neck; both of you crashing into the water. When you finally came to the surface, you splashed water at her which she reciprocated before looking over at Freddie, "we should probably head in."

Freddie's P.O.V

You watched as the two of them held onto each other in the water, not able to discern their emotions from the distance you were at, but you didn’t like it. You called them in one more time before Auston tossed (Y/N) into the water and they began splashing water at each other. She looked back at you before wiping the water from her eyes and saying something to Auston, the two of them making their way back to shore.

“Hey,” Auston said breathlessly as he walked past you

“Finally had enough of the water huh?” you teased to which Auston just smirked, looking back at (Y/N) then back at you

“Hi” (Y/N) said when she got close to you but your irritation from what you’d witnessed caused you to all but ignore her as you turned to walk back to the fire. The six of you sat around the fire, drinking, laughing and telling stories while you felt (Y/N)’s eyes on you, begging you to look at her without having to say the words

“Well,” she sighed when you kept your eyes away from hers, “I’m exhausted from all that fun in the water. I’ll see you all in the morning” she laughed, Morgan and Andrew standing up to showcase their chivalry

“Have a good sleep” Andrew smiled as (Y/N) made her way back inside. You weren’t sure how long you should wait to talk to her but you knew it couldn’t be too much longer

“I’m gonna get some sleep as well” you said, finishing your drink as you stood up

“Oh yeah, sure...” Cogs teased and you rolled your eyes at the tone

“Goodnight. Please don’t destroy the deck” you said, making your way inside and turning down the hall toward (Y/N)’s room, letting yourself in

“Hey!” she exclaimed, irritated that you didn’t knock, “what are you doing?”

“I came to talk to you”

“Oh really? You’ve sure done a great job of ignoring me all night. What do you have to say now?”

“You can’t act like that,” you said under your breath, referring to how she was with Auston

“Act like what?!” she argued, raising her voice as she stepped toward you

“Like that!” you repeated, gesturing to the lake, trying your best to keep your voice low. “Throwing yourself all over Auston like that. Half naked and soaking wet no less”

“Oh my god,” she scoffed, “you’re jealous”

“Jealous?” you huffed at the suggestion

“Yes. I have no idea why you would be but it sounds an awful lot like jealousy how you’re talking to me right now” she urged, anger covering her face

“What if I was jealous?”

“Why would you be jealous?”

“BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!”

“What?” she whispered, stumbling back

“I love you,” you said calmly, vulnerably, as you studied her expression

“You don’t love me, you’re not in love with me” she argued, shaking her head in disbelief

“I do!”

“YOU DON’T!” she yelled, “YOU— I— ugh” she groaned

“What?”

“I don’t get you,” she sighed, “one second you say you don’t want a relationship and you want to be my ‘sugar daddy’ then the next you say you’re in love with me? Which is it?”

“Both”

“Both?” you could feel the disgust in her words but it almost made you laugh

“Yeah, both,” you countered, “I didn’t set out to fall in love and get into a relationship, especially when I met you,” you noticed her mouth drop, realizing you had to backtrack. “I wanted to protect you from my life but I liked being around you. And the sex was amazing”

“So all you wanted was sex”

“Maybe that’s where it started,” you admitted, “but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you and I realized I would still be paying for everything either way but this way I’d get you all to myself”

“Oh so now it’s about possession?” she growled and you rolled your eyes

“I’m not trying to possess you,” you groaned, “I just wanna be with you because I love you. I have no idea why because you’re impossible to deal with and you test me every god damn second like I’m still in school but I can’t help it” you bit your bottom lip as you thought about tearing off her clothes, taking a step closer to where she stood. “I see you and you make everything... different. My heart races and I blush and I sweat and I just want to be around you. All the time. It’s infuriating. But I love you and I think I have since the beginning” she stood silently in front of you before you boxed her in with your arms, letting her eyes linger up your chest until they found yours, placing your hands on her hips to bring her even closer to you

“Show me,” she said softly, watching your lips. You let your fingers slide up her body until they reached her neck, cupping her face as you kissed her softly. Her body moving closer to yours, forcing your feet to move backward until you felt the bed behind you, stopping only for a minute to pick her up

“I love you” you repeated and, as if something possessed her, she bit her lip and pushed you onto the mattress

“I want you to fuck me”

“You’re n—”

“Fuck. Me” she interrupted, moving across your body to straddle your lap. You honestly thought she’d say it back and it was throwing you off that she wasn’t. “What’s wrong?” she groaned when she finally realized that you weren’t exactly following through

“I can’t do this” you sighed, pushing her off of you to walk across the room, dropping your head in your hand

“What?” she scoffed

“I...”

“Should I go ask Auston? I bet he’d be more than happy to fuck me” she teased, smirking when she saw the glare on your face. You promptly made your way back to her, harshly grabbing her hips and turning her around where she stood; moving your hands up her body to clear her hair from her neck to bite at the sensitive skin between her neck and her shoulder. You felt her hips push back into yours and you grinned at her sudden neediness

"Is this what you want?" you whispered

"I told you. I want you to fuck me" she breathed, placing her hand on yours to guide it onto her breast and she leaned against your chest, continuing to back her ass against your growing erection. You pushed your hands into the waistband of her shorts and underwear, tearing them off her body, kissing up her legs and removing her shirt before forcing her to lean against the bed, keeping her back straight. “Freddie...” she whimpered when you stepped back, making sure not to touch her just yet

“Shh,” you hushed before pushing your shorts off to expose your hardened cock. You ran your finger down her spine until you felt her shiver underneath your touch, holding yourself in your free hand before you began running the tip along her folds; letting her moan fill the room before you pushed yourself into her entrance. "Shhh," you repeated as her sounds started to get louder, "you don't want everyone to hear, do you?" she let out another moan before she nodded her head, looking at you over her shoulder and smirking as she watched you fuck her. She rocked back into you, sending vibrations through your body and encouraging you to dig your nails into her hips, fucking her harder. You moaned lowly as your pleasure began to increase, slapping her ass to give her the playful punishment you thought she deserved for teasing you earlier

"Fuck" she shouted breathlessly, earning a growl from you as you tried to fuck her into silence. You weren't surprised when her panting filled the room and she brought her body up so she could lean against your chest. "Fuck" she repeated, quieter this time, as your fingers lingered to her core, pressing on her sensitive bud as your thrusts became stutters and grunts continuously left your lips. You came, messily, inside her but kept your fingers moving against her clit as you took yourself out of her, kneeling down in time to find your juices leaking down her leg; snaking your head between her legs to lick up the liquid teasingly. "You need to cum, don't you?" you baited, your finger poking inside and curving to find her g-spot while you gently swept the tip of your tongue across her clit

"Fuck, yes," she panted, "faster baby. Make me cum" you smirked at her pleas. You quickened your ministrations until her legs shook and she was unable to stand, falling to her knees while a sigh exited her mouth. Her hand lazily rested on your chest as she attempted to compose herself and you could only chuckle

"Oh we're not done yet"

"What?" she gulped, eyebrows raising in surprise

"Oh no no no no," you laughed, "you wanted me to fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you senseless. Until you can't speak without feeling me inside you. Until you see my face with every breath you take. Until you feel the heat from my body against yours just by walking across the room. Until you need to beg for mercy at any given second because I'm still making you cum."

"T--" she hesitated, pushing herself up as best she could while still not being able to use her legs, "that sounds good to me"

"You sure you can handle it?" you asked

"From you?" she replied, raising her hand to stroke your cheek, "any day. All-day"

"I do love you" you admitted once more, hoping she'd say it back but helping her up gently so you could continue to fuck her, as you promised you would

"I love you, too" she confessed and you kissed her quickly, lifting her up and carrying her to the bed. It was at that moment, when you saw her smiling underneath you, that you didn't care if the guys heard the two of you. She was yours and you were hers. You had her and she had you. Nothing could ruin that.

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dnarez · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 7 - Autumn Coat

It's been a few months since you started to work as a caretaker, nothing grand happened, but the times you left for your break once every 14 days, you always come back to a crying Keigo, and a missing mother.

The last time he wrecked the house, there was glass on the floor, footprints on the ceiling, walls painted with... wine? jelly? blood? You don't know, but it was hell to clean, which of course you made lil birb help too.

By questioning him after cleaning everything and then cleaning him, you discovered that his "mother" gave him coffee, and A LOT of it, and went her merry way to meet with someone.

---

To say that you were pissed was a mistake, you were furious, but the commission didn't let you reprehend her, so you had to teach him to not eat and drink something that his mother gave to him, without knowing what it was, and that if he drank coffee he would stop growing, which made him cry, but you promised a day outside with him, where they would eat out, maybe go to a mall, and he could have anything that he wanted.

It was his first time going out to have fun, instead of just going to the gym, or the doctor appointment, so with the 'okay card' from your boss you took him for a stroll, which is why there is a very excited Keigo jumping on your bed at 6am.

"COME. OOOOON!!! WE STILL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY AHEAD OF US!" he shouted while jumping up and down on your bed, his wings flapping behind him.

"Hun, what time it is?" you yawned and sat on the bed.

"It's 6AM! On a Monday!!!"

"I wish you would be this easy to wake up every day, it would make my mornings easier" you huff and got up. "Go wash your face, I will get changed and come to help you change yourself."

"I don't need help! I'm a big boy! I can change myself!" he pouted and crossed his arms.

You smiled at him, seeing how much he opened up to you in comparison to the first day, when he would tremble form how scared he was, and how he talked so little. "I know you can, but you need to put warmer clothes than normal, and it would be better if you didn't pick that awful t-shirt again"

"The one that his written 'Daddy's little boy' with the Endevour's face?" he tilted his head a little.

"Exactly, that one! Now go, we will eat breakfast outside today."

"Woo-hoo!" he raised both hands and was about to jump down to the floor when you held him back and fills his face with kisses "Let me go mommy!" he giggles a lot, and you keep doing it until you decide to release him.

"THE FLOOR IS LAVA!!" You shout and jumps up "If you aren't on your bedroom in 15 seconds the world is going to END!" You say dramatically and open's the door to the laundry room "1... 2... 3... aaaaaand... he's gone" as soon as you opened the door and started the countdown he flew off your small home to his room.

After fixing your bed and washing your face, you went to get changed and choose something comfy, some black jeans, a long sleeved red shirt, a black purse and your favorite beige coat that had white fur on it.

You went to his room to get him ready when you were surprised by the scene, him, Keigo, your baby birb, the cute little shit that was getting more confident with each training, that had the most beautiful smile you had ever seen.

On the floor, curled up in a ball, with a few drops of blood on the ground of the floor, and his mother with her hand in the air, like she was about to hit him...

The world was turning slowly, almost stopping, after three movements of your finger, the one that the nail was always painted black, the dame that had cut the wall.

As the world was moving slowly, you were moving like normal.

5... you calmly walked to Keigo

4... you took him on your arms

3... you put him on the bed

2... you took the pillow case from the pillow

1... you tied both of the hands of Keigo's mother.

The world was back to normal, and Keigo blinked looking at what was now his mother on the ground and you on top of her mobilizing her, while he was no longer on the floor, but on his new fluffy bed that you picked for him "so quick..." he mumbles and look at you with admiration.

You took your phone from your purse, and sat on top of her back "Hello? You saw from the cameras, didn't you? Yeah... I think she needs a few days of vacation... about a week? Okay I let her on the couch then? Thank you, good bye" you turn off the cellphone and look at Keigo who was mouth agape looking at you with shiny eyes. "Let's go?" You smile and pick him up.

"YOU WERE SO AWESOME!!! And didn't you told me to change my clothes?" He hugged your neck

"We can just buy it on the mall but... outside is really cold..." you put him back on the bed and took off your coat "here, I'll lend you my favorite coat, please take good care of it"

He sniffs the coat and is meet by the soft smell of lavender and sweetened coffee.

He looks at you with shiny eyes, "okay!"

You pick him up again and hold his mother's ankle while you drag her to the living room. "Tomorrow is your trainer's day off, so today you can sleep later"

"Woo-hoo!!"

You chuckle and let the woman on the couch, then you go out with him.

"Let's have breakfast and then go out and about"

You carried him to the car, and there you put him on the backseat and when you were going to buckle him up he stopped you.

"Let me do it! I'm a big boy" you nod and watch as he struggles, but after some time does it.

"Good job" you kiss his forehead and goes to the front seat.

As you drive around you put some kids pop, which he sang along to the Disney songs from the movies you showed him.

As you stop at a café that you liked, "Let's go?" He unbuckles himself, and you open the door to him, picking him up again

"I can walk!"

"Not with that bare feet of yours" you tickle his feet which makes him squirm and giggle.

Walking in you take a sit and sat Keigo beside you. "You can get anything, ask away" you took the menu and give it to him "since you learn how to read better I'm sure you can pick what you want"

"Okay!..." he spends 20 minutes choosing his food, which ended up being a chicken breast sandwich and a soda, you immediately told him no soda in the morning.

"How about some juice?" You offer

"What are you going to drink?" Keigo tilts his head to the side.

"I want to go out and by sweetened coffee from the vending machine, it's my favorite, and no you can't have some"

He giggles and nods "I want strawberry juice!"

"I'm gonna go order it to the cashier, two chicken sandwiches and a strawberry juice"

"Can I pick a dessert?"

"After you eat everything, sure, here play a game on my phone while you wait, I'll be right back" you give him your phone unlocked and go to the cashier.

Keigo is playing on your cellphone when someone approaches him, his little trained feathers don't recognize this person's vibrations, so he looks up and sees a dude with a scary look and long black hair.

They both just stare at each other "sup" Keigo say and discreetly send a feather to you and taps your feet.

You come back to the table and is surprised to see your oldest friend, you give him a big smile "Shouta-niisan!" You hug him, but he only pats your head.

Keigo looks surprised at the interaction, you don't talk about yourself, only the basic and vaguely gives information about what you did before him.

"Is this your kid?" The man looked at Keigo, the man looked like it was around 23 maybe 25.

"Yeah! I'm his-... mom, yeah! I'm his mother" you smile breaking the hug and sat down "too busy to stay?"

He nods and put a can of your favorite sweetened coffee in front of you "You're doing a good job, just be careful, you never know"

You nod back at him and give him a big smile "I will, at least I'm no longer doing patrols, don't forget to call me once a week"

"I never broke a promise, won't start now" he pets your hair and goes away.

Keigo watched the weird transactions extremely curious "Who was him? Is him your older brother? You don't look alike. Why didn't you say goodbye to him? Why does he look like a bun? Why-"

"Enough!" You put your hand on his mouth "He's an old friend, I call him nii-san because I always called him that, no we aren't blood related, he always looked like that, and... we promise to never say goodbye to each other"

"Why?"

"Because a goodbye can be forever, so we just don't say it" a waitress comes to you both and puts everything on the table.

You open the canned coffee and drink it, smiling at him as he eats, you both eat and then went shopping.

...

Keigo could fit in anything, and he would look cute you just loved the way he looked on yellow or beige, they fit well with his red wings.

"Hey mom... I wanted to know if-..." he was scared, uncomfortable maybe? About something.

"You can ask me anything Birb, there is no way that I will not answer" you kneeled on the floor besides him and looked at him through the mirror.

"What's your quirk?" He looked at you while fiddling with his hands.

You smiled at him "It's kinda hard to explain, It's better if I show it to you" you took his hand and paid for the clothing, now that he was with some clothes that were good for the Autumn cold weather.

After getting to the car you drove off to the training gym.

"Why are we here?" Keigo recognized the building quickly.

"My power can be a little destructive, its1better to do this in a place that no one can get hurt" going in you went to your private training room with the little boy following you like a baby duck.

"How destructive?" Keigo held your hand and you held his.

"Very, now stay back" you pressed a bottom on the wall "My quirk needs ink all the time to do anything, and I always have it around me, most likely on my point finger, here I can do almost anything" you made a straight line in the direction of the dummies and cut 3 at the same time, cutting through them.

"Woaaah! What else?" Keigo's wings fluffed up at your awesomeness.

You walk to the middle and make a dot next to him, a huge tree appears from nothing surprising him, he falls to the floor shocked.

"I can also make a path of flowers, and the tree will only stay there for a few seconds, but it can surprise the enemy enough to take them down" you move your finger around under Keigo's feet and there grows some flowers.

"My ability is called Celestial Brush"

"THIS IS SO COOL!" He runs to you, and you pick him up when he's close enough. "MOM YOU ARE AWESOME!"

You look at him surprised and hug him tightly "My son, you are awesome too"

You two stay like that for some time, until he bugs you to show more of your ability, which you do, you show him each trick and technique you learned until now.

https://youtu.be/BRcfqu3hQkY (your quirk)

(Yes this is your quirk, and everything you can do with it)

After showing him everything you picked him up and you both go back home to take a shower, eat and sleep.

Those moments in his life were the happiest that Keigo had ever been, always protected by you, he was given the love and affection that he always wanted, he didn't care for everything else, he just cared about you, because you were his true mother, the woman that he would run to when he got himself hurt, to ask about life, to ask about anything really, since you also were his teacher. When he had nightmares you would hold him until he calmed down, would kiss his head, would compliment the small things he had done, and would scout him when he did something wrong.

Keigo loved you more than anything in his life, and Hawks miss you dearly in his, because in the end, you still worked for the commission, and he too didn't have a choice when you went away for an important mission.

The day before your departure you both made a pillow nest in the living room, you induced him on his bird instincts, HD wouldn't have such luxury after you went away.

Neither of you talked about you leaving, instead you showed him your favorite movies, snacks and old latin folktales, the feeling of sadness was there the whole moment.

You tried to give as much advice you could, and only took him off your arms to use the bathroom.

Keigo also didn't wanted to let go of you, both sleep hugging each other, you promised that you would come back as soon as you could, that tou would ever forgive him if he died while being a hero, that you knew he was build for greatness.

Only when you had to leave that you allowed yourself to cry, at the door with only a backpack in hands, you put your coat on Keigo while he sleep, also letting your diary on his bed, to let him have you all the time.

After tucking him on his nest, you kissed his forehead and kisses his toy's head, going out of that house took a lot of strength, you didn't wanted to go, but duty called, you just hopped it would take less then a year.

. . . . .

But it didn't took a year, it took 18 years to take the ring leader down, and just now you were finally going back to Japan, and to the now number 2 pro hero Hawks.

.............. As you can see there is more to this book

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maplecornia · 3 years ago

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chapter 26

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 1.85K

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: i don't think i'll ever get over how hot Namjoon is ;-;

You groan as you lean against the pillar near the entrance to the BigHit building.

Last night, when Taehyung walked you back to your apartment, you didn't sleep very well. Turning to glare at your rather disheveled reflection in the mirror, you let out another groan.

Why did he have to show up? You were perfectly fine, things were perfectly normal, and then he had to screw up your heart all over again. Letting out a small scream, you throw a 3-second fit before leaning your back against the clear glass wall.

Sooner or later, you're going to have to go in.

Why can't it be later?

Letting out a guttural growl, you pull yourself off of the glass and head inside the building, stomping like a little two-year-old. You really don't want to see him today, you're afraid of what will happen if you do.

You don't want to fall.

Please God, don't let me fall.

Entering the building, you feel a bit more comfortable, not so out of place. Now, you have a purpose, a plan; a reason for being here. Smiling softly to yourself, you walk forward, this time nothing in your way. As you reach the receptionist's desk, you smile as you recognize Jojo behind it.

Playing coy, you knock twice on the desk before glancing away and holding your head in your hands. She glances up, ready to greet the newcomer but as soon as she sees your face, she breaks into a grin.

"Ah~ it's the snoozer, early today I see." You frown at the nickname but when she smirks your way, you can't help but grin like a giddy child. It feels good to have friends or at least the beginning relationships of one.

"I told you, the time was wrong." You pout, flopping on the desk and she laughs before preparing the schedule you need for Namjoon today.

"Mmhmm, and what happened yesterday? Was Mr. Kim too tired of waiting and told you to stay at home?" The mention of yesterday causes your grin to fade a little. With it comes the memory of Taehyung, and he starts to reenter your mind. Pulling yourself off the desk, you smile weakly, shaking your head.

"No, I had an injury, Namjoon wouldn't let me come in." She blinks a bit in surprise at the informal way you address him.

"'Namjoon?' Huh, I didn't think the two of you were that close. You only met once after all." She mumbles before typing something into her computer. Realizing your mistake you let out a small gasp.

"Oh, I'm sorry. He told me to call him without honorifics, I suppose it slipped my mind." You look away from her, a bit embarrassed, but as soon as she presses the print button, she chuckles.

"Don't worry, Yen. I was just joking." When you don't look at her, she sighs a bit before lightly knocking on your head. Surprised, you rub your forehead and pout as you meet her gaze once more. Smiling, she pays no mind, presenting you with an ID badge. Your eyes widen as you see it, and you take it from her waiting fingertips.

"Is this mine? I didn't think they'd process it so fast."

"Of course it's yours, whose else would it be?" Jojo chuckles, leaning over the counter and pointing to your name. "See? Lin Yen."

You bite your bottom lip, trying to suppress your grin. Somehow, this makes things all the more real, you can't help your delight at the sight. Jojo catches sight of the cute expression and can't help but laugh as she pulls away.

"Now hurry up, the schedule is all ready for the day. Don't forget to check in with the head manager, you remember his name right?" She reminds you, making you pause for a moment before you run off.

"Of course, it's Kim Sejin. Everyone knows that." She smiles at the coy response and waves you away.

"Okay, hurry up and go then. I'm sure Mr. Kim is waiting for you." You bow to her before taking off, a small bounce to your footsteps.

Walking through the halls without Namjoon is a bit scary, but exciting at the same time. You can't help but love the butterflies coursing through your stomach, and is it weird that you kind of want to barf and dance at the same time? Everything is so exciting and new, it's as though the world has been painted a different color.

You try your hardest to forget everything, just live in the moment as of right now. No more worries about the past. About your friends. About your mom. About Taehyung. Right now, you need to focus on yourself.

And this job seems like the perfect escape for that.

Humming slightly to yourself you do a little twirl in the hallway before turning the corner...

...and bumping right into Kim Namjoon.

You let out a small shriek, stumbling back, your body shrinking into a small protective ball like it normally does. It's a little defense mechanism you've acquired over the years. Your eyes closing themselves tightly, you don't realize who you've bumped into until he takes you by the shoulders and catches you mid-air.

Blinking as he rights you, you look up and find yourself face to face with your boss.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice coated with worry, and you chuckle a bit nodding sheepishly.

"Yes, I'm sorry I should've been paying attention to where I was going." You reply, stepping back from him. Though he sighs in relief as he releases you, you find that there’s a heavy cloud hanging over his head. He’s not fully there with you, lost in some unforgotten thought. Furrowing your brow in confusion, you wonder what happened to make him look that way. You open your mouth to ask him about it, but he's already speaking, and your words fall on deaf ears.

"It's a good thing that I bumped into you." You tilt your head in expectation, curious to what he's about to say next. "I needed to talk to you."

"But your schedule isn't ready yet--"

"That can wait."

You open your mouth to protest, but he's already taken you by the hand and is dragging you down the hallways.

Even though you cry out incomprehensible questions and sounds of alarm behind him, he can't seem to hear you. He doesn't want to hear you. His mind is too cluttered with the events of yesterday.

The outlandish plan that BangPD has in store for you.

"Why her?" He asks, his hands clenching tightly at his sides.

After the meeting, BangPD requested to meet privately with Namjoon, after all, he was the leader and one of the people that Sihyuk trusts the most. It didn't matter to RM anyway, he needed to talk to Sihyuk as well, and if it had to be on his terms then so be it.

Bang Sihyuk glances outside at the setting sun, casting shadows throughout his office. Serene and insoluble, shadows meant to conceal that which he would rather keep inside. He sighs before answering, his hands secured behind his back as he stands before the massive glass window.

"You know, BTS wouldn't have existed without you. If I had never come across you that day, if I had never been inspired to create a group that will strengthen and invigorate your music, we would have never gotten here." Namjoon glances at him in frustration. He hates when people beat around the bush, but his respect and humility won't allow him to speak out against his senior.

"It's the same with her."

Bang Sihyuk reaches out and taps on the window before letting out a soft chuckle.

"Did you know that glass is so easily broken? That is, when it's on its own. But when you fortify it, when you strengthen it with multiple pieces, then it becomes indestructible." Turning around to face Namjoon, he smiles.

"Almost Bulletproof."

Biting his bottom lip, Namjoon remains silent as he watches BangPD walk to his desk and sit down. He raises his brow when Namjoon remains standing, but when it's clear that he has no intention to make himself at home, he merely sighs.

"She auditioned before, you know. For the BE:LIFT project, for Source Music, she even auditioned for Plus Global." Namjoon balks at that. This is new information to him. He knew that it was her dream to be a singer, but never did he know that she wanted to be an idol. Especially since she's a foreigner, that would be near to impossible. "I didn't accept her."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to share her."

At the explanation, Namjoon turns away, running his hand across his face in frustration. This is much more complicated than he thought. Somehow, she's been connected to the company for the longest time. Not just through Jaejin, not through him himself, not even through Jungkook or Taehyung. Before any of them had a chance to see her potential, she's been on the mind of their former CEO since she auditioned 5 years ago. For a program, she would never be able to succeed in.

"I have been planning this for a while, Namjoon."

He's unwilling to accept it, he can't accept it.

"She's the missing piece."

At the thought, his hand clenches subconsciously around yours.

He can't stand the thought of you disappearing far from his reach.

And yet, almost against his will, he finds himself bringing you to the very fate that will keep you from him.

Perhaps forever.

He pauses when the door comes into his line of vision. Almost as though he were afraid of what lies behind that very same door. Mrs. Kwon looks up from her desk as the two of you enter the small lobby, and presses a button on her phone before muttering incomprehensible words to a person on the other line.

Out of breath, you place your hand on your chest before looking up at him. At the sight of his set jaw, and stony eyes, you can't help but feel a bit worried.

What exactly happened to make him look that way?

Once more, you open your mouth to speak to him, but Mrs. Kwon interrupts and you look at her in surprise, not noticing she was there.

"You may go in."

Confused, you turn to Namjoon, but all he does is give a nod to the secretary before stepping towards a massive oak door. Curious, you peer around him to glance at it, not quite aware of your surroundings. There's a small plaque on the door, one that reads the name of the person residing within in perfect neat letters.

방시혁

Bang Sihyuk.

Your heart stopping in your chest, you freeze halfway to the door, your hand slipping out of Namjoon's.

"Namjoon, why are we here?" you try to keep the fear, the anxiety, the worry out of your voice, but the efforts are futile. He swallows hard, steadying himself before turning to you, his warm eyes soft and apologetic.

"He wanted to meet you."

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: you can probably guess what will happen next, but nonetheless i'm exciiiited

chapter 27 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

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kurokensimp · 4 years ago

Text

Warnings: Heavy angst, anxiety attack, major character death.

Note: Texts in italics and crossed are text messages. Texts in just italics are flashbacks.

SUNFLOWER~

Koutarou.

Come quick.

It's Kuroo.

That day Kenma ran, as if, if he didn't, he'd lose his heart forever.

It was the day Kuroo had gifted Kenma a kitten, as he'd always wanted one, but would never make it obvious. Typical Kenma. A smile crept up on his face, reminiscing on the golden days. Kenma was smiling in that picture and Kuroo's heart ached looking at that bright smile. It was a rare smile and he was glad it was only reserved for him. A smile which made the sides wrinkled and sadness forgotten. A smile from the sunflower of his life. Everyone had a sun or star in their life but no one appreciated flowers and that made Kuroo sad. He fucking adored sunflowers, just like he adored Kenma. He still remembered how he didn't sleep that night and instead spent it with Nisshoku (meaning:eclipse). He was matte black in colour and both of them had fallen for him on the first sight. He felt his eyes stinging lightly and slowly caressing the picture stuck on the wall,took in a deep breath. His eyes moved onto another picture.

It was the last picture he had taken with Kenma as a third year in Nekoma. Kenma was super moody that day, not wanting to talk to anyone. Including Kuroo himself. He chuckled lightly. Kenma was super awful at showing his emotions but Kuroo knew him well enough to understand his feelings without words needed. He knew how Kenma was not comfortable with confrontations and wording out his feelings and Kuroo didn't need them as long as he was next to his sunflower. As long as he was next to his sunflower....... He took in another shaky breath. Something odd caught his eye this time.

Shifting his eyes to........ a pocky sticks packet...? Kuroo examined it with a closer look and suddenly took in a sharp breath. He stood that way for a while, mind foggy, unable to construct basic sentences. He suddenly remembered Kenma specifically being interested in that one pocky packet those many months ago when........

His brain had become all soggy and the neurotransmitters and receptors had decided to stop functioning properly. He could feel a lump form at the back of his throat. How he had managed to not break down till now, he doesn't know. It was the day when they had shared their first clumsy kiss after Kuroo had teased Kenma by hooking onto his pocky and making him all flustered. He loved to tease Kenma. However, things got intense when Kenma didn't move back and instead initiated the kiss with the pocky stick in between, resulting in both of them choking on it. Nskakajakakakaa. Kuroo could never forget that day, seemed like neither could Kenma.

News reporter: A latest breaking news has come in stating how a train coming from Miyagi hit an eighteen year old boy who seemed to have been in a hurry, ignoring the level crossing and resulting in an unfortunate accident with the train. The boy has been identified as Kozume Kenma, a student of Nekoma High, also known to be the exceptional setter of the Nekoma volleyball team. His parents.........

The rest was drowned by Kuroo's racing thoughts and the oncoming anxiety attack. It felt as if he was falling down Tartarus, his heart taking days and ages to even reach the bottom. The fall was sucking the breath out of him as he felt his lungs constrict and twist. Every breath felt harsher and more painful as the milliseconds passed by. He knew no longer knew how 'normal' felt.

Screwing his eyes shut, he took in another shaky breath, as he went over the meaningless and hollow content of everyone's lines; "It wasn't your fault. Don't beat yourself up for it." His brain was wired differently...or maybe in the correct order because it WAS his fault. It was HIS OWN fault; and everyone sugarcoating it just did the part of the salt on his irrecoverable wound. He hated it. He hated himself and his supposed "pranks" and his arrogance and his definition of "light fun" and a world without his sunflower.

It was all just a prank... Or at least it was supposed to be. This one incident took away whatever sunny nature he had in himself, and maybe from Bokuto too. Bo was crushed beyond words and his emo time lasted more than two weeks. They were supposed to send a 'come quick' text, saying it was an emergency relating to Kuroo. Kuroo knew his sunflower loved him and didn't need to say it out loud. But his concerns stretched so far, he had never fanthomed. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't love him so much. He would have been safe at least. Present in this cruel world at least. Kuroo hated how everyone thought that it was just Kenma, Kuroo would be fine.... How did one come up with such thoughts, he'd never know. He was baffled everytime seeing how shallow some people were. Just because he wasn't much of an enigma like Hinata or Kuroo himself, they thought so little of his sunflower. A tiny part of him was glad that his sunflower no longer needed to live amongst such people, but a major part of course left him beyond heartbroken.

Being in Kenma's room took more of an emotional toll than he had expected. What was he even expecting? His wall was littered with their pictures and tiny things which Kuroo had bought for him. The ones which couldn't be hung on the wall, went on his bedside table. It had been a while since he had come to Kenma's room, so it wasn't a surprise how it much it had changed. It has been a month now. It feels like only yesterday he saw the annoyed look on Kenma's face and feels like a whole year he lost Kenma at the same time. With heavy limbs, the same hands with which he played with Kenma's smooth hair and made different hairstyles, took everything off his wall, boxed them up and planned to take it with himself. Turning back to reach the door, his foot hit something and he shouldn't have looked down. He shouldn't have been here in the first place. He shouldn't have done anything.

Kenma's volleyball.

It was all it took for Kuroo's facade to break and his heart to finally snap. That day the room felt anguish and pain like no other time. Time crumbled around him as if not wanting to do anything with Tersurou Kuroo anymore. The room seemed to close in on him and his world started moving, his vision blurry and turning into tunnel vision, his heartbeat erratic, his breath shallow and breaking, his world tumbling, his sunflower crushing. That day he cried like he had no one to hold him, like his golden days ended forever, shutting the light from his life forever.

He missed his sunflower.

Placing the customary flowers on his grave, he sat down on the smooth grass. They stayed like that for a while, Kenma just out of reach and Kuroo finding it harder to stop himself from digging up the grave. The graveyard was silent, unlike his mind. Kuroo had never liked the silence, it reminded him of his mother's absence. It really was silly; an eighteen year old still becoming jittery in the silence because of his mother who disappeared years ago. But he never stopped to think of other's judgments which came so easily to them. Kenma always somehow knew all of Kuroo's weak spots and therefore always accompanied him everywhere, even if he didn't speak much. His presence had made up for it and he had found it comforting.... He dug his nails in his sweatshirt and hung his head between his legs. Everything stood still for a while, when he felt soft light taps on his bare hands. Squinting up at the white sky, he saw snowfall. His gaze was somewhere far off. He remembered Akaashi telling him how Winter signified death and loss. Alas, nature was weeping for his sunflower too. Or maybe not.

Kenma's mind was rattled while running that day. Death had halted his steps. Will he ever get peace?

The thought crushed Kuroo.

Mystified by the mocking nature of nature, he let the snow envelop him.

#kuroken #kuroo x kenma #kuroken angst #heavy angst #hq angst #angst #haikyuu!!#haikyuu kuroken #oneshot #haikyuu oneshot #kozume kenma #kuroo testsuro

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vanchlo · 3 years ago

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The Partner / Chapter Fourteen, "The Ten"

Word Count: 5.9k words / Story Masterlist / Read The Assistant / Read on Wattpad / Warning: Sensitive and upsetting topics

I wasn't sure what had brought me here. It had felt like yesterday since I'd shut this door last, even if weeks had passed since. I'd never been able to shut it on that day and I knew that I wouldn't be able to, not fully.

"Babe! Are you ready to go? We're going to be late for the meeting," a voice calls from down below. Gulping hard, my heart stays stuck in my throat at the sight before me. It hadn't been the only one this morning that was hard to swallow.

"Coming!" The upstairs guest bedroom door closes behind me. I can't help but look at it over my shoulder, still unsure of why I had come up here. "We're not going to be late, Harry! When was it that you started to become so anal about being early?"

Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, he doesn't attempt to hide the way his eyes roll at my remark. They finally settle on me, registering my eyebrow raise I challenge him with.

"Since you take fricken forever to get ready in the mornings, and the boss needs to be early," he tuts, nodding his head towards the front door. I hadn't noticed before how he holds it open, but now, the spring sunshine is unmistakable. "Come on already. I put our stuff in the car while you were dilly dallying upstairs. What were you doing up there anyways? It took me a few times to get your attention."

We'd long ago passed the time of saying 'thank you's for holding doors open, but habit aside, I still say it. Pulling the seatbelt across my chest, I ruminate on his question as he messes with the radio beside me. I'd become a master at being able to tell when his eyes were on me, and right now was no exception, because when I glance over at him, he's doing just that. The words hesitated on my tongue because at times I still found it hard to talk to him about her. We shared her and the grief around her. There was nobody else in this world who could know how I felt about her besides him, but the struggle persisted.

Avoiding his eyes had been my go-to when I didn't want to answer him. I did it now but it didn't serve me well, because of what I find instead. It seemed that nearly every time my eyes came upon it, it was impossible to not trace the curves of ink. It had lived on the inside of my wrist for over two weeks now and I still hadn't gotten used to it. When I thought that way, I realize I was never one to get used to things. My mother's abuse. Harry's coldness towards me in the beginning, only to be changed into sporadic softness. Then we became friends and something more, and it was hard to wrap my head around. He got hurt and I almost lost him, and it was something I still couldn't believe. It was a recurring theme in my life, especially as of late.

The permanence on my skin is interrupted by the soft edges and lines of his hand. A relief is kissed onto my skin when his fingers lace with mine, his thumb paying attention to the capital letter P in his handwriting on my skin. I don't know what does it but suddenly, I'm looking at the melancholy lifting his lips.

"I don't know but I wanted to look at her things in the nur- guest bedroom. The sonograms and clothes . . to remember that she was real and ours when . . when today I feel like I need to pretend that she wasn't," the words tumble from my lips as my throat feels tight with remembering. "I miss her."

"I miss her too," Harry says with a softness saved for times like these, which seemed to be quite often lately. It speaks louder when his lips press a kiss to the top of my hand. "But we don't have to act as if she never happened, Becks."

"I want to though. Not to act like- I'm just not ready to talk about her with people at work yet. It's almost been two months and I feel like I should be ready by now."

Repeating in and out inside of my head didn't help to steady the breaths trying to swim into my lungs. What did succeed was letting myself live in the unending sage color of his eyes, wondering what the flecks of gold would feel like if I swam in them.

"That's okay too, honey. People know not to ask and I said not to. It's more so something that you bring up yourself if you want to," he murmurs, thumbing at the escapist tear that got through my guard. "Are you sure you don't want to stay home another day? I can work from home whenever I want, you know."

"I'm sure," he had barely put a period to his words and I was insisting. His nod was fast but I could read the hesitancy in it. I tried to push it out of my mind as the car began to move, my thumb occupied by the same traces of ink on the inside of his right wrist, a P in my handwriting.

It wasn't how I thought I'd be living my life today, carrying the memory of my daughter in my heart and on the inside of my wrist, instead of in my arms in a few months.

I had thought at once that it was a sight for sore eyes, but now I couldn't be more sure that it wasn't. Still, I wasn't certain how I felt about it now. Seeing it had brought forth a nostalgia I yearned for, wanting to go back to a time where we were so naive and unknowing of what the future held for us. It also dug up a pain that could be unfathomable, because I knew how different things were the last time I stood outside his office door, looking in. Our happiness had been unmatched and upon realizing that, I felt my throat grow dry.

He looked more handsome than ever with the short beard he'd come to keep, one that swims into view upon turning around. I'd been caught.

"Hi, bug," Harry says, a smile making the dimples dive into his cheeks. It was small but it brought a glow to his face that I'd missed. "Are you heading out?"

Nodding was all that I could do as I stepped foot in his office. Even if it wasn't the first time today it still stung. Everything I missed was what I thought of when I stood in here. It was the framed sonogram missing beside his desktop, the space behind the guest chairs where I'd showed him the pregnancy test, and on the couch where we spelled out potential names with Scrabble tiles. That was only the beginning of what stabbed at me like knives, even if things had gotten better. It had only been two weeks since we'd started to talk and I had come to feel so much better, almost like myself again. I wasn't sure if I'd admit it but he was right. I'd come back to work too soon and it had been too much. I couldn't decide when I would tell him that I had cried in the bathroom twice today because of it all. He'd wonder when that had happened since I had been at his side all day helping him start on his new case, but I'd thought about her all throughout. I hadn't known that coming back here would stir up so many thoughts about her. How could I?

"Becks?"

"Y-Yeah, soon," I belatedly answer, grateful for his bookshelf in front of me. I know that he knows the truth, but it could seem as if I was lost in reading his titles, instead of consumed by my thoughts. No, Harry was smarter than that. He knew that I had perused his bookshelf more times than fingers I had on one hand, more than one normal person would. "You're sure it's okay that I take the car?"

"Of course. I'll just catch a ride with Myles. We still have a few things to go over anyways. We're not sure if we're sold on that one guy for the new hire or not, so we have to figure out what to do."

I couldn't find it in me to make a comment. Today had taken so much more from me than I had anticipated. I knew that there would be awkward interactions and maybe the curious looks. I didn't know that the team meeting right off the bat would let everybody stare at me to their heart's content, and let me catch them in the act.

"How was today?" his voice comes, interrupting my thoughts. I had come to welcome it, knowing how it broke up my mental web of danger. He had to have known too. "Rate it."

A title catches my eye, replacing the Pain-O-Meter we'd come to adopt since it'd happened. Plucking the book off the shelf, I flip it open to find the familiar title page and a message written in black ink. I'd have a good shot at reciting it without needing it before me even as the words came to blur before my eyes.

"Pass," I mumbled, daring the tear at my nose to fall onto the paper. Brushing it away before it can, I let the words in front of me swim through my mind yet another time.

March 2024

Harry,

I couldn't count how many times I've heard you speak of this case and all that it's taught you, even inspiring you to become a lawyer, you once said. I guess maybe I should have kept it for myself seeing as how you know next to everything about it, but maybe you won't know some of this 'never before seen' stuff. I call dibs on being the first one to borrow it from you, seeing as how it's a new release. I hope that one day we can bring justice and right a wrong like seen in this landmark case. Book aside, I couldn't ever find the words to tell you how grateful I am for you and even though it hasn't been a month yet, how much I love you, Harry. If there's a God, I'll be thanking them forever for bringing me back to you and to your firm to work beside you, and to fall in love with you all over again. I can't wait to hear you talk so passionately about this case and all of the others you look up to when we have our nightly goodnight call. I'll try not to fall asleep the next time.

Love,

Your Becks xo

"Becks?" There had been a time when I'd hated that name and how he'd mistreated it. It wasn't long after that I'd missed it deeply and wished to hear it despite being scared to. "There's no passes."

"Since when? Why can't I just for one time not have to rate my pain, Harry," I almost retort, my chest heaving when I turn to face him. His face remains stoic, that is if you were anybody but the few people who could read his face right now. The shock is clear as day and brings my hands to my mouth. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to explode on you."

"It's okay," he assures me, stepping forward. His hand on my wrist is ginger and reassuring. "What one have you got there? Ah, the good old Glensheen murder. One of my favorite cases."

There hadn't been many times anymore that I couldn't unravel the emotions hiding on his face. Except for now, he locked it up good as he thumbed at the page, nostalgia lifting his lips into his cheeks. It made the sting louder inside of me as his mouth relaxed into its former line, a wetness clinging to his eyes.

"I'd started to think about how I'd tell our kids how I became a lawyer and it always started with this case here," unlike before, a dullness lept into the curling of his lips, a smile dipped in sour memories. "I thought of it with P, telling her how Daddy became a lawyer because of Glensheen . . but I can't do that anymore. It's too hard to think about."

A hastiness filled my actions, first with my hand on his forearm. The velvet button down he'd picked for today felt like butter beneath my fingers, but it was the only easy part about this. No, the wetness spilling onto his cheeks only made it harder and so did prying the book from his hands. It wasn't any smoother looking into his eyes as mine welled with what filled his.

"I'll rate today if you will," my gentle words came, volumes different from mine that had come before.

"Eight and a half," Harry said dryly, clearing his throat afterward. I knew how he craved a glass of water to soothe the cracks in his throat. If only it could do the same to the heart.

"That's your first eight in a week and a half," I note aloud and his acknowledgement is absent. That is unless you count his eyes falling away from mine, focused on dragging his finger along the letter on my wrist as if he could do it forever.

"What's yours?" his question is quiet, but I could hear his voice in the loudest of darks. It was what had dragged me out of my lowest of lows, afterall.

"Nine . . and a half."

It was my turn to stare at my hands and avoid the gaze of the other. I could feel his as I tried to swallow past the heart shaped ball in my throat, trying to forget how quickly his head lifted.

"You haven't had a nine in weeks, bug," Harry remarks and I don't bother to nod. What would be the point? I don't want to make it any more real than it has to be. "Becks, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"When you say nine . . do you mean a ten?" his question made sense but I didn't want it to, because that would mean I'd have to come up with an answer. That wasn't something I could do.

Waiting was something I had done a lot of recently and what joined it was my feeling of something being amiss. I had blamed it on losing Phoebe and how it had upset my entire life, but standing here now, both rang too true. I couldn't put a finger on why I hesitated opening the door, even though I had been here just the other night. It had been Harry and I's first double date back with Asher and Skye. We had played Cards Against Humanity and sat around the old rinky dink deep fryer whilst picking our cards.

Leaving that night, my stomach was full from the pizza rolls, cheese curds, steak bites, and more that we deep fried, but that wasn't why my gut felt off. Skye had been acting weird and I couldn't put a finger on it. Sure, things had been different since losing Phoebe, but I knew it wasn't that. Tonight, I hoped it would come to light. If only I'd known now what I would later, I would have never come at all.

There was no answer when I knocked on the door, so I let myself in like usual. Our favorite chicken bacon ranch pizza Skye had promised me wafted from the oven where it cooked. After a quick glance around the open apartment, I find that I'm alone. That's odd, I think to myself, remembering running into Asher in the parking garage on my way from leaving work today. Their cars were parked out front and Skye's purse and keys are scattered across the island. Just like the old times, I muse silently as I begin to toe off my shoes until I stop.

Loud voices carry from down the hallway and immediately I recognize them as the two blondes I'm looking for. Removing my shoes is forgotten as I inch my way into the apartment, trying to listen. Normally, I'd feel guilty eavesdropping and so I don't often do it, but that went out the window when I heard my name. It sounds like they're fighting, but what about? Does it have something to do with me? Why would it? The questions bloom behind my eyes as the sound of their arguing grows when I come closer.

Stopping outside my old bedroom door, I felt more than uncomfortable, but it only grew as I waited. It had been weird at first finding out that Asher and Skye moved into my old bedroom, but knowing that it was the biggest, it made sense. Something inside of me tells me to stop and that I shouldn't be stepping into such a private moment of theirs. If it were the other way around I wouldn't want somebody to eavesdrop on me and Harry talking, and least of all a fight. But I can't stop after I hear my name for a second time.

"Skye, you have to tell Becky. You can't wait any longer."

"Don't you think I know that, Ash? I've been trying to think of how to say it, but for the life of me I can't," my best friend sighs. A whining sound follows her words, presumably after she plopped down onto the mattress. But when it comes a second time, I realize it's drawn from her lips.

"It'll be easier the sooner you tell her, babe. You know that." An unmistakable sigh whooshes from my best friend's lips on the other side of the door. "It can't wait any longer. Maybe you should tell her tonight."

"No! She just went back to work earlier this week and Harry said that she's doing better. I don't want to ruin any of that by telling her."

"She'll understand, Skye, and I know how much you want to tell her, to share this happiness with her. It was all I could do the other night to not talk about it, because I'm excited too," Asher admits with exasperation. Another sound tells me that he's joined her to sit on the bed.

"Of course I want to tell her, but how do I tell her about . . "

I hadn't known how I had gotten here. That's stupid because, of course, I did. But sitting here now, the steering wheel of Harry's car slick with my tears, I still wish I hadn't heard what I did. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't erase it from my memory, and no amount of tears could make it better. Each breath I took sent shoots of pain through my chest as it shook with fitful sobs. The engine still ran, rumbling softly even through the steering wheel my head rested on.

I had lost track of how long I'd sat here after pulling into the driveway. I knew that he would hear the garage door if I pulled in, so I was waiting. He didn't seem to hear or see the car yet, something I was grateful for. I wasn't ready yet, but would I ever be after what I just learned? Just as much as she didn't know how to tell me, I had no idea how I could tell Harry.

The laugh track of a TV show is what I hear first upon opening the door, followed by a wisecrack from Joey on FRIENDS. My heart squeezed at the sound of Harry's subsequent giggle, and knowing how I was about to take it away. I closed the door softly as I could and still knew that he would hear it. It's instantaneous how quickly the TV is turned down and how my unrelenting crying replaces the sound.

"Becks? You're home already, love?" my favorite voice murmurs from the living room before alarm is racing in it. "What happened? Is everything alright?"

I could count the seconds before I hear his rushed footsteps coming my way, and then stopping in front of me. Harry's molasses voice rushes to say my name a few more times but he succeeds in one try to pull me into his arms. Taking my spot sitting against the front door, I melt inside of his arms.

"Baby, please. What's wrong? You're scaring the shit out of me," it was hard to make out the concern in his voice amidst the spinning of my thoughts. It was there but I knew that had things been normal inside of me, I'd be able to hear the panic and fear living in his voice. "Are you hurt?" hurrying to ask, his hands run along my body, as if checking for injuries.

His neck smells sweet with vanilla from his cologne and then woodsy all at once, a smell that used to calm me in seconds. No, not now. Inhaling, I try to focus on his voice and the feeling of his fingers in my hair, but it's more than hard. It's only after snaking my arm out from around him and my fingers into his, do I find my bearings. His chin was sandpapery against my head and although he'd wake me up with the weird feeling, I welcome it now. It's what roots me to the spot and brings me back to him.

"Becks honey, talk to me . . Don't run away from me again," sorrow leaked from his words that began to break on his lips. "Please."

"Harry," his name came out in a sob deep from inside of me. The second I'd heard those words drop from Skye's lips I had wanted him . . needed him. I had known that's the only thing that could ever make it better, but could it after I utter the words that had been spinning webs in my head? "S-Skye . . . "

"What, is Skye alright? Did something happen to her? Did-."

"Skye's pregnant, H-Harry."

What woke me wasn't the feeling of his fingernails dragging along my arm, raising goosebumps. It was a nightmare that I couldn't place once I'd opened my eyes, but that didn't matter because I'd woken up to one. The night before came flooding back to me, making me remember why my throat burned and my eyes stung. It was from the screams I shouted in the car where nobody could hear me, not even God who they were meant for. No, I doubted he heard me or saw the way I chased breaths between sobs.

"Morning, bug," Harry rasped in his voice dripping with extra honey.

Something unspoken hid in his words and in the way he covered my face with loud kisses. I didn't laugh or even break a smile. It was impossible after the newly awake ignorance washed away seconds after waking. I felt the hesitation in his movements, the way his chin now tucking my head to his chest moved when he was going to speak only to stop. He wanted to ask how I slept or what I dreamt about. It was the usual stuff but I knew that he was choosing his words carefully after all of the ones that were said last night.

I felt lost in my own, not knowing what to say. It was almost as bad as before when a chasm broke through our lives, carrying us away from each other. Almost but not quite. The thought made me cling to him with fear, never wanting to lose him ever again after all of the times that I had already.

"Shhh, I'm here. I-I know it's not okay right now, but it will be eventually," he cooed to me, fingers nimble and gentle where they dragged through my snarled hair.

"How, Harry? How am I going to be okay seeing her have what I want? I have to watch my best friend have a baby when- when I should be pregnant with her too. I-I . . ," no other words are possible as I begin to shake in his arms. Again.

"I know, buggie," is all that he says, speaking volumes more through his fingers drawing shapes into my back.

"How many times have they called?"

His hand pauses, frozen in a soft claw against my spine, "How'd you know? I thought you were asleep."

"I was but I know h-how they are . . She was so upset, Harry. I still feel so bad for how it happened."

"They each called about ten times already since last night between our two phones. I've gotten a few texts as well but I don't know how to answer them," he murmurs and I can only nod. His calming humming begins against my hair, some tune by The Paper Kites that he caught me listening to when I was his assistant, saying it was a favorite of his too. "Skye already said a hundred times that she understands that this is hard for you . . It's what all her texts and voicemail said."

"How can she say that she understands wh-when she's never lost a baby?" out it comes and I can't take it back, despite all of the times that I had thought it. His words of comfort begin but I'm too quick to shut them down. "But I should be happy for her and Asher," I whisper into his chest, the familiar warmth of his necklace against my cheek.

"You don't have to be anything you don't want to be, Becks. We don't get to choose how we feel . . However you're feeling is okay and it's understandable," Harry says, tracing circles under his t-shirt he pulled over me last night when I couldn't get dressed myself. "To be honest, I'm quite pissed at the world at the moment and somehow at them too. It doesn't make sense but feelings never do . . I had the hugest crush on you when we met and I had a girlfriend. It didn't make one bit of sense to me."

All that I can muster is a hummed acknowledgement before words find me, "You fought it and it didn't go away though. I want this to go away. I don't want to be jealous and mad but . . I don't know how I can't be. It's not fair, Harry."

Any licks of morning light is doused out by black when I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing that was the trick to keeping the tears in.

"I know, honey bug. Life is never fair, unfortunately . . but we're going to have our own family one day. It'll happen for us when we're ready again . . And if you can't do it, watching Skye become a Mum, then you don't have to. I don't want you causing yourself any more pain. You've already been through so much."

"But she's my best friend, Harry, ever since first grade."

"Then give it time, babe. Healing doesn't happen in a day . . We both know that."

"How can I heal if everyday I'm reminded of it, Harry? Sh-She's going to have a baby and I'm supposed to be there as her best friend, like we've always planned. The best friend plans the shower and is there for the birth, and her bump is going to get bigger. I-," he stops me before I carry on and eventually implode from the feeling bursting from my words.

"You can only do so much, and however much that is - big or small - is okay. Skye will understand," he insists from above, nudging his nose against my temple. "Shhh, shhh. It's going to be okay, babe. I promise."

Harry's words ghost over my face, smelling of the minty toothpaste we use. If my body wasn't shaking with waterfalls of tears, I'd try to care what time it is and why he isn't at work. Part of me wants to ignore it and that's the one I listen to, letting him rock me back and forth inside of the safety in his arms.

"Thanks for staying w-with me," I blubber against his neck, finding purchase with my hands cupping his shoulders.

"Always, my love. Thank you for doing the same. I know it seems like we keep getting hit down as soon as we get up."

"No kidding," I hiccup.

Trying to focus on the Elton John song he sings to me instead of the danger concocting inside of my head is no easy task. It was one of our favorite songs but it still couldn't stop me from thinking about how it should be Skye and me pregnant together. We'd dreamt out loud how many times since we were six that we'd be mothers together and our kids would be best friends. Now, that will never happen, I think miserably, wishing that things could be different just like I had thought for the last two months. Those thoughts spun back into how I'd have to stand by her side through it all, pretending that I wasn't insanely jealous and resentful. That sentence in itself makes me cry louder against his bare chest, because she was my best friend and how could I be so mad at her for something that was so amazing? I can't but I am.

It was the very same thing I'd said last night after the bedroom door had opened, all of our mouths agape. I'd tripped on my own feet, or their news had knocked me off them, I suppose. It had sent one of their plants onto its side and profanities from my mouth.

"Ree . . Oh my god," Skye had gasped, a hand to her mouth, of course. The face I had known for so many years, watched change over and over, had paled so that it almost matched the wall behind it. "Please. I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way. I promise I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how. I-."

"I can't do this, Skye. I'm sorry but I-I can't. I don't know how to," I had muttered hastily, my wet eyes already painting my face only moments before hers.

It was only seconds later that Asher had exclaimed my name for there to be no response. Moments before slamming the door, I heard him call after Skye whose footsteps trailed behind me.

"Ree, please! I'm sorry!" she had shouted after me, in a voice that snagged on the fresh crack in my heart.

"Skye, don't. She'll be okay, just give her time."

With a pained sob just before the door closed, I heard her choke out, "I never wanted to hurt her."

"Is there anything I can do to take your mind off it, bubs? It's not healthy to keep replaying it over in your head, and I know you are," Harry's murmur comes, trying to shut the door on the memory. One that is still too fresh and new, too much like the puddle of red I sat on in this very bed that morning. We'd made our way back into our bedroom and into our old lives, thinking things were going back to normal. Little did we know. Shaking my head does little to erase the thoughts, no matter how many times I do it.

"Your head's not an Etch A Sketch, bug. Stop, baby, please," he insists, bringing a hand to my head, trying to make me stop. If only I could erase the thoughts like the old toy we played with as kids. Skye and I would fight over who used it, even if we both were terrible at it. "Please, just tell me what I can do to make it all better."

"You can't always fix it, Harry. Thank you for t-trying, but . . "

Puffing, the crack in my heart widens at the pain held in just his sigh. "I wish more than anything I could, Becks. I'm the husband, the d-dad. I should be fixing it."

"Don't. You can't a-and that's okay," I say with a voice colored with the very opposite, because it really isn't okay.

"Even though it's not . . okay."

Nodding my head quickly into him answers that then and there, as if the tears loud from my eyes didn't say that already.

"I see now why you've never rated your pain as a ten before today . . ," he didn't need to finish his thought because my mind knitted it up for him. Because I need to save it for when it could be nothing else but a ten.

"I miss her. I never even met her and I miss her so much it hurts," my voice trembles, colored with memories that had just become bearable to recall. Now, I feel as if I need to find the key to lock them back up in their box because they're too painful to think about. "I just want her back, Harry."

"I know, sweetheart. So do I," his lips brush against my temple with his words, pressing a kiss there that stays. At least I have Harry. I can get through anything with him by my side. I find it in me to take a full breath at that realization, holding onto him tighter.

What now, I thought silently but the words spoke volumes. Underneath me the mattress squeaked when I tried to get comfortable. Tugging at my shirt, my eyes fell to my legs clad in a fresh pair of jeans. It felt bizarre to be wearing them. I hadn't gotten dressed in four days, because I could barely get out of bed. It was too much like the last time and it scared me to no end, because I didn't want to lose everything like before.

I didn't want to get dressed today or to take a shower for the first time since I'd heard about Skye, but I did. Harry gave me time and didn't push me, but when he left for work this morning, again without me, I found it in me to do it. My body had already gotten used to the baggy feeling of Harry's oversized shirt and sweatpants. Now, it wasn't sure about these jeans or the warm black and brown Argyle sweater I'd found in his closet. Dragging a brush through my snarled hair seemed like the most work I could do all day, let alone warming up leftovers after it. This time, I hadn't lost myself completely, but I still didn't feel like me. Knowing what I did changed everything once again, and I didn't know how to do it.

Staring back at me, the meticulous plans Harry and I had made seemed impossible now. The blinking cursor nagged at me to type in the shared Google document, knowing Harry would see it. The top listed the logical need to know things and then the places we'd go, followed by the costs and smaller details. It had only been a week since we'd looked at our wedding plans together, but it had seemed much longer now. Seeing the dress decorated with lace and sewn flowers in our closet pained me, making me wonder how I'd get my best friend to do my hair and makeup now. I knew that she would come, even if I hadn't answered any of her texts or phone calls since it had happened. But how could I do it?

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