#the book makes me feel so much and i'm only 21 pages in like LOL this is going to be an absolute trip for me

[slowdesire]

guys so i've started reading heaven by mieko kawakami and omg. i mean im not even past the first chapter because im taking this really slowly and savoring it but wow... i wouldn't say i was outright bullied, nowhere near similar to anything that's happening in the book, but. there are some thoughts and emotions only someone who has had to eat in a bathroom stall can access and understand

[libra-stellium]

Venus Transits I tracked!

Descriptions from Planets in Transit - Robert Hand

Venus opposite Moon (Apr 17 - Apr 21)

Any problems under this transit are likely to come from doing something to excess

Did I drink a whole bottle of wine on 4/20? yes. Was I feeling it the next day? yes lol Do I regret it? nope! I was trying to have a great night in and that's exactly what I had!

This transit arouses your affections and makes you willing to give and receive love, relationships with women are meaningful

I made this really good pasta with mussels and I invite my aunt to have dinner with me which is simple but I don't usually do that lol

The rest of this transit description was talking about problems in romantic relationships but I'm single soooo N/A

Venus opposite Mercury (Apr 18 - Apr 22)

Favorable time for communication about love and relationships

If you watch 911 you know how it's been this month lol but I've been enjoying watching people watch the show for the first time! Idk which day exactly but it had me thinking about how I used to write fics when I was younger and make fan videos of shows lol such a fun time! Then I had a convo with my bestie about her love live bc she's a late bloomer and naturally is scared of everything lmao

The mercurial side of your personality does not take emotional matters seriously

I forgot to pay attention to this lmfao but I know I was a joker this entire time! lmao I tried to cut back but everything was just toooo funny!!

Be careful what you say about friends and loved ones under this transit , someone may take it seriously

I made a separate entry about the last time this transit happened for me in 2021 so this time around I was very intentional to not talk about anybody lmao about to make myself a shirt like "My friends and I survived my Venus Opposite Mercury transit <3"

One of the most unemotional of all Venus transits

I don't know lol is laughter not an emotion? I was intrigued by this when I wrote it but maybe I would have experienced this if I didn't know it was happening? Or maybe it was something small like me laughing during the serious situation in a show bc the drama was just toooo much I had to laugh lmao

Venus trine MC (Apr 18 - Apr 22)

Good time for any kind of creative activity/getting involved in the arts

I randomly started cooking this pasta with mussels and I've never made it before and it came out so good!!

Excellent time to redecorate your home and make your personal surroundings more attractive, you are much more sensitive to the aesthetic nature of your surroundings

I did do my dishes and clean my kitchen!

Time when you feel very affectionate and have a great need to express your affection, you are pleasant to be around, others can sense how you feel about them which makes them feel good

I didn't really feel thisss? I'm usually pleasant to be around anyway lol but I did text a couple more friends during this time and we were laughing a lot

Transit makes you feel peaceful and anxious to avoid conflict

Bro this bc after my job messed up my pay last week they asked me to update my timesheet again and I was on that email and had it fixed in 2 minutes lmao just for my supervisor to be like oh she doesn't see it on her end like girl....i texted her pictures of my screen like it's there! Don't stress me out!

Venus square Neptune (Apr 21 - Apr 25)

Transit stimulates your romantic imagination making you somewhat unrealistic

As a libra with a pisces rising this was just another regular day lmao but I was more in my synchronicity bag because on 4/25 I started reading this book that I stopped reading last year on May 19 bc I left it in my friend's car for months and I was reading something else by the time I got it back buttttt the back of the page I stopped on the main character was talking about how the only place she had visited in Europe was Amsterdam and i was like ohmygod??? What are the odds that i was so close to reading that last year and it's now almost a year later and I travel to Amsterdam ON MAY 19???

Daydreaming and creativity are high

Idk if that counts but I stitched a tiktok on 4/23 and it's still getting engagement and it's at 50k+ views rn on 4/28 and like 7k+ likes lolll

Venus square Uranus (Apr 24 - Apr 28)

You seek excitement and stimulation through love relationships

single as a pringle lol

Tendency to flirt under this influence, don't make anything more out of an encounter than what it really is

I didn't go anywhere bc work had me working for real during this time and now it's the weekend and I have my period but one of my friends posted a story about how her outfit made her look like a teacher and I commented "What's 5x5? Twenty Fine!!" lmfaoo the corniest pick up line and I still think I was so funny for saying that lol

You are likely to be impulsive with money

yeah Sweetgreen has had me in a chokehold ngl lol every year I go through a phase where I get obsessed with a salad from there! $18 is absolutely wild but so so good! Just writing this makes me want to order again omg

[graygiantess]

Thank you for In Hell Together After All, it absolutely crushed me (in a good, painful way). ❤️ It made me wonder what is your history with IWTV/The Vampire Chronicles: how did you become a fan, what caught your attention and what made you want to "stay"?

And also, you probably write a lot of your headcanons into your stories, but do you have any specific headcanons of any of the characters/relationships in the series?

Hey Nonny!

Sorry for the late reply. Covid broke my brain and I can only focus on reading/writing for very short stretches of time.

(I love getting these asks, though, so please no one feel deterred by this, lol!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed In Hell Together After All! And thank you for your ask. 😊

Putting my answer under the break again so as not to clog up people's dash with my novel-length ramblings.

Luce and TVC

I first got into TVC when I was 14, which is almost 21 years ago. My 13yo foster sister and I were completely obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

I was aware that there was a vampire movie with Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt and wanted to see it. I have a much older half-sister and the three of us ended up having a movie night at her house. We watched Interview With the Vampire and The Blair Witch Project.

We were all very 👁👁 throughout the entire movie. Then I bought a boxset of the first four books, foster sister and inhaled the first three books, watched the QotD movie and got very pissed off by how terrible it was. 😂

We were like, "Guess we'll always have the books 🤷‍♀️". I ordered TVA, because QotD had left me completely Armand-obsessed, and started reading Tale of the Body Thief.

I don't remember quite what it was, but Lestat says something at the start of TotBT that my 14yo self just thought was so stupidly retconny that I went, "Yeah, fuck that". I think it was something about how he only ate bad guys and that that was somehow in service of Jesus? Whatever it was, I wasn’t having it, so I put it down and never picked it back up. 😂

Then in my late teens/early twenties I followed Anne Rice on Facebook for a while, but I got kinda creeped out when she started addressing everyone with 'dearest People of the Page'. I distinctly remember thinking, "Lady, I'm here for gay vampire reasons, not to be in a cult". 😅 So I unfollowed her and spent about a decade not thinking about TVC very much at all.

AND THEN in early summer of 2022 the YouTube algorithm informed me that AMC was making an IWTV show. I reread IWTV and in October thought, "Let’s give this a go."

I had my reservations because I still remembered my teenage rage at the QotD movie, and I wasn't sure how I felt about them changing the time period and casting 'some old guy' as Daniel (sorry Eric! 🙈).

BUT THEN Jacob came on all, "Dear Mr. Molloy, did you know you can orgasm just from hearing a man's voice? Wanna finish what we started half a century ago?" and my head just about exploded!

This is the second interview?! They’re revisiting it 49 years later?! OMGGG, that's the most genius storytelling move in the history of storytelling! 😱

I watched ep2 right after and then desperately needed to yell about the show with other sickos. So I joined Twitter and started reading fic again (which I'd only really done when I was 17 and obsessed with that wizard school franchise), started writing fic, joined fic-themed group chats/Discords and made a Tumblr so I could (lovingly) yell at other fic writers.

And now I've published over 150k words in fic and there's IWTV fan art all over my house. 😂

So it was really the show that made me come back to stay. It's just thee best TV show of all time to me.

And as much as this fandom can be a shit show, it's really helped me stay sane while grappling with my long covid, which has left me very incapacitated in many other areas of my life.

Luce's headcanons

Asking me for my headcanons has the same effect as asking me for my favorite movies or songs in that it immediately makes me forget any headcanons I ever had. 😂

You're right that I write a lot of them into my fics, which are mainly me exploring my headcanons and asking myself what if...? I have a couple others, though I'm not sure these are really headcanons or more actual theories, though, so I apologize if this wasn't what you were looking for.

- I've mentioned this one before, but Louis and Lestat had a grand old time during their honeymoon phase between Louis getting turned and Louis almost eating Grace's baby. I think people tend to make too big a deal out of Louis being an unreliable narrator but it's a little too convenient how quickly he skips over those 6-7 years. I think he doesn’t like to think about how much fun he had with Lestat just having all the sex, getting super rich and eating whoever the fuck he wanted.

- Daniel isn’t going to give a single fuck about the ethics of killing people in order to survive once he finally becomes a vampire. We already know he’s selfish and a hypocrite. I can just see him fully ready to view all humans as savory inferiors once he’s no longer one of them.

- If show!Daniel ever met Marius, he would punch him in the face. 🤭

- Santiago is going to be SO jealous of Louis's relationship with Armand. I don't care if Santiago and Armand end up having zero homoerotic tension between them on screen, they're fucking to me.

- I'm also a Claudeline truther. Show!Claudia doesn’t need a parental figure the way book!Claudia does but she very much yearns for romantic love, and she did say Charlie was the last boy she'd ever love, and went after the woman when Lestat asked her if she wanted the Mr. or the Mrs. in ep7.

Kudos to anyone who made it all the way to the end of this answer! Your prize is getting to choose if I share:

A) A silly anecdote about that movie night I had with my sisters.

B) A shocking fact that might get me cancelled as an Armandaniel fic writer. 👀

(Though tbh, if you pick B, I'll probably still give you A for free.)

[vintagepresley]

Minor rant ahead, feel free to delete this if you'd like:

I'm so so sick of the tabloids and various book writers and such all attempting to paint E as this dangerous, disgusting predator (or worse) who "victimized" teenage girls, because of who he dated at different points in his life. When in reality, all the women who've been interviewed (even people like Sandy Martindale and the girls at the "sleepovers" with him) have only spoken about how kind and respectful he was towards them, and that he never overstepped his bounds or did anything inappropriate to them. Yes, he did have a temper, but they've also said he never took his anger out on them.

Plus, from what I gather, E never actually slept with/had sex with underage girls (or at the very least I can't find any conclusive proof of such a thing), unlike several rock stars of the time such as Steven Tyler or Jimmy Page. He would only do innocent things like tickle them, kiss and cuddle with them; even his friends said what went on was horseplay, not foreplay, and the girls at the sleepovers said that "the things we did were things that kids do, they were really all very innocent."

Now I'm not saying him dating teens or doing these things was necessarily right, but at that time (especially in the South) it was considered normal for adult men to date teen girls and for there to be large age gaps in relationships. Heck, Loretta Lynn married her husband when she was 14 and he was 21. So it's easy to see why E thought hanging around teens and having the sleepovers was normal. It was simply a different time then, and people like Alanna Nash and Joel Willamson don't seem to get that.

This is my favorite kind of rant. I completely agree with everything you’ve said. People always want to focus on the girls and what he did with them because they want to twist things and make him seem like some monster. But he was the complete opposite of that. I feel like no matter Elvis was always respectful and never wanted to hurt anyone. I feel like he found comfort in these girls especially because he would do innocent little things like kissing, cuddling, and tickling.

People always tend to forget that it was a different time and more acceptable for that kind of relationship especially in the south like you said. Elvis is also a product of his time much like the rest of them. That’s why he didn’t see anything really wrong with it sometimes. Just like none of the girls did and still don’t to this day. They never have anything bad to say or that he was a “pedo”. They always want to throw around that he married a 14 year old. WHICH DRIVES ME NUTS. A simple google search would show Cilla was 21 when they married. But they don’t want to focus on the fact that there were people actually marrying 14 year olds!!!! I feel like people want to focus so much on what Elvis was doing but aren’t paying attention to the real predators and creeps who were actually doing harmful things to young girls whether they wanted it or not. Even artists today are out here doing bullshit.

I just wish that people who write these books or make these documentaries about him just focus more on him and his career and his love of music. His love for his fans. We don’t have to keep talking about the same thing and over analyzing everything and going on about the women he was with all the time. We don’t need that. We know the stories, lol. You’re only feeding the haters more of what they want to come at Elvis fans.

Honestly Alanna comparing him to R. Kelly was the most disrespectful shit I’ve ever heard. They are completely… COMPLETELY two different people. Elvis never hurt any of those girls and none of them are out here accusing him or have ever accused him of anything. 🙄

Anyway, sorry for my mini rant.

[flameontheotherside]

Happy Birthday to ME!

Yes! I got the book relating to our past life as Augusta Murray and Augustus Frederick. It arrived today, my birthday. We had the same birthday but I was much older. Notice how we have the same name? It's fucking cool though! The book came in today, my birthday ☺️. So happy I have the physical copy of it.

Even though I've read the book in its entirety online I want to read it again because it's our life and it's just so cool that I'm able to dive deep into a past life like this! Not everyone can do it. I can relate so much to Augusta and it details Erik's life in this book too so I feel close to him this way reading our love letters written on the pages makes me so happy but also breaks my heart because Erik couldn't do anything to help us stay together.

My son almost tore the cover off it 🥴. I will tell him about spiritual stuff and past lives before letting him hold the book. It won't be for a long time. This book means so much to me, I wish I could thank the author without sounding like a fucking freak or something.

Lol I told Rick he could spend the entire day\night at his friend's house on my birthday leaving me alone with Ricky. Rick's presence can be suffocating because he talks so fucking much and since he's not my twin soul, I can only take so much of it. Little does he know it's a birthday present for me and I don't mind having to be with Ricky alone or anything. I do need to clean my kitchen though and thankfully Rick got half of the work done.

Just remembered, I think it was when I turned 20 or 21 (just a few months before I wrote the birthday letter to the guardian angels of my twin soul), we had an 80s themed house party. We started throwing these parties every year for some time. The parties were big with BBQ, pool, DJs, drinking games, etc. I remember wishing when I blew out the candles to meet my twin soul.

😘💕 Oh happy day...!

[ohdudedhesflirting]

For me when a company, a school, or a university say they are a family it’s when it’s the worst... Will from my experience that’s when it was worse ! They are no good companies that actually care ? They pretend to but they actually don’t. But at least when they are pretending it’s a little bit better ? Idk how to explain

I think I know what you mean. I also am scared of the phrase “Work hard, play hard.” 

You are not an illiterate writer. For me there is no such thing as that and get ready for a sappy moment but writing is hard, very hard and having people read it is hard as well. Taking the courage of writing is something and many people get stuck. So don’t you are illiterate. I am sure you are brilliant.

Aww, thank you. I mean it more as a jokingly way because I made a lot of silly errors (even though I try to proof read) and sometimes when I’m reading (even simple stuff like fanfics), I do get a bit confused or am not 100% sure. This is kind of why I decided to try writing. I

If you allow let me tell you a bit about my story with writing. (You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to). I always write stuff, when I was a kid and I didn’t like the ending of a good I would take a pen and scribble over it. I was writing little stories as well. I started to write seriously when I was 13 yo. And I started writing 2 books at that moment (never finished them). I had some MAJOR health problems when I was 13-14-15 and I was doing very bad. Writing and reading helped me a lot. When I was around 17 I had ideas for a new book, I planned it and I wrote it. A whole book of more than 300 pages. My bay. I was 19 at that point and friends and my mom read it and loved it. I send it off to house of editions, and I was rejected. I think I must be at 7-10 rejections now ? Since then I feel sick whenever I try to write, what was once my comfort became something that me sick. Now I’m trying to get back to writing with those fanfic but the nauseous feeling is still there.  (Lord I made myself sad lol) 

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can’t imagine that it was easy. Also, don’t feel pressured to share what you’re not comfortable with or it brings too many negative emotions; after all, I’m just some person on the Internet who’s trying to be friends with you (lol). I’m sorry to hear about your health problems when you were younger and I hope you are feeling better. I can relate because I been experiencing some since two years ago. It’s A LOT better now especially since I’m not working but we’ll see once I get back to come 😢

It’s amazing that you were writing two books even if you haven’t finished them at the age of 13, and I’m glad that you found something to help you through the hard times. 300 pages? Dang, it’s hard for me to even write like 50 pages.

Also, keep in mind that you’re very young (you’re born in 2002 so I’m assuming you’re either 20 or 21 years old) and I feel like a lot of authors get a lot of rejections. Remember, you only need one “yes.” Not only that, many things including pieces of writing are subjective so don’t think you’re bad or anything like that. Some people will like your work, some might not (like it could just be not their taste or preference, etc) and that’s okay 😊 You can’t control other people’s thoughts but you can control how you feel about when you publish your work so personally, I try to make sure when I publish something, I’m proud of or at least satisfied with. 

I kind of get your nauseous experience because I feel it to especially when I publish a particular series that I'm currently working on because based on notes, I feel like it's not being well received (though I get it because some people might be shy to like something or like to be a silent reader and that's ok -- I was one of those people but now I try to comment or reblog for works I really enjoyed because it makes me soooo happy when people do that for my work so I would imagine it'd likely the author happy too).

It was the first IU song that was in the list. I have a terrible memory I am sorry.

Ah, no just wanted to confirm what you like so I can try to be mindful when I recommend you songs. I type too much. 

For the lesserafim song it’s just aphas something in the melody that itches my brain the wrong way ? It’s the same for aespa songs actually every time I try to listen to one it make my brain itch in a bad way ? I guess it must be something in the melodies or the way the voices are arranged ?

Okay, yeah, I think I get what you mean. For me, I just can’t listen to some aespa songs. No need to explain yourself! I was mainly curious so I can be more mindful in the future 😊

Stromae is a Belgium singer/composer and he is amazing and the lyrics are always very deep ! Stayc vocals truly are amazing and I also think xikers have a lot of potential ! And I love enha I have two of their albums lol

I’ll definitely check out Stromae’s songs when I get the chance. I been learning more Korean as well and using some song lyrics as practice and woah, a few songs I been listening for a long time to have an entire different meaning now that I know them. It’s even better lool. 

First of all you are American ?? I feel like going to kcon would be an amazing experience and from what I remember the lineup is crazy ! If you feel like it’s your only chance to see them try and go for it ! That would be awesome memories ! (I totally get that going to Korea/ Japan is scary and could be very overwhelming!

I’m from Canada but the plane ride to LA is fairly cheap because it’s not far from where I live. Yes, the lineup is sooo amazing. It’ll be my first time to KCON and LA as well (I was planning to go later in October when it’s not like the dessert but ZB1 is probably not going to have a North America tour 😭)

Hydrate yourself a lot, eat a lot, take care I love you 💛

Thank you! Take care of yourself too 🫶

🤙 anon

Silly errors happens, it’s normal when you are engrossed in your writing you do not see the mistakes anymore. And I’m very proud of you to keep on continue to write !

Well I don’t mind sharing it it just that I feel like I overstepped boundaries ? But globally I don’t really mind talking about it lol. Concerning my health problems it was worse, im doing better now and I have meds so it’s globally better even if there are some moments of relapse. I’m sorry about your health problems and I hope you are doing better now and that the work won’t put you in a difficult place health wise.

Yeah well it still feel bitter because I never finished them. And for the 300 pages that story mattered a lot to me and it was different from a fanfic you know ? It was my own characters, in their own world with Iran created places so I had a lot to write about lol.

I am currently 20, my birthday is the 15 July (one day after tae rae lol) I know that one yes is enough but that story truly means so much for me, and people close to me really liked it and had good feedback so I was really hopeful, it has been my dream to be a published writer for years and I had just a lot of hope. I know that I should base my self esteem on that but it’s hard to resonate with yourself when it’s something that matters so much you know ? I’m also someone very insecure with very low self esteem so that made me suffer a lot. Lol.

I totally get what you mean. Notes are importants and not having that feedback can really makes you feel discouraged when you put so much time and effort on a piece. But the fact you kept trying proves that you are very brave !

You don’t type too much I just really have a terrible memory and I would love to see your recommandations ! Please tell me if you like stromae songs !

Canadaaaaa ! That’s so cool ! It’s means you have snow often, where I live there is so snow at all :( Wll you definitely should since there might be no other opportunities! And if it’s cheap I can only encourage you to !

Take care of yourself ❤️

[ultravioletrayz]

it always makes my heart so happy whenever I'm referred to as a proper 'writer' 🥹

thank you @lxverrings for the tag!!

When did you start writing?

-I've loved to write since I was 6 or 7, but I only started writing fan fiction in december of last year

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

-I love classic literature, psychological thrillers and novels about female "insanity" lol. My favourite book is Animal Farm, though

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

-Um, I guess I follow some writers I admire and am inspired by, along with so many of my mutuals whose writing styles I have fallen in love with. I don't really care for being compared to anybody, though.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

-When it comes to my Tumblr, I write on my laptop in bed strictly. Otherwise I write in my journal. Also, I can't write during the day, only at night

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

-Usually thinking about a specific quality of a character and formulating a storyline around that. E.g, Miguel's stress will inspire me to want to comfort him and love him, or in a smutty sense, relieve that stress, thus creating a fic! In terms of my actual writing, it's the same, only I tend to do it with a concept or emotion rather than a character trait like i do for my Tumblr writing.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

-In my irl writing, I can never avoid delving into hunger, ambition, desperation... that sort of thing. My own yearning for things is the main reason I'm still alive, so when i write characters, I subconsciously give them that same characteristic. In my fics, I think I do that in a sense too, but in a more lustful way where I always make a character yearn for the reader an obscene amount.

What is your reason for writing?

-To give me something to do. I'm not a very happy person, and when I'm left alone with my thoughts, I often put myself at risk. So, writing online and interacting with you guys is another fun way of passing time and not having to think about life.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

-When people compliment the literary quality of my writing. Sure, we're all here to get off to some word porn, but when the underlying perciseness and technique that I (a nerdy academic bitch) am incapable of not applying to my writing is merely noticed... ugh it's so great.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

-Just some stupid, horny, 21 year old, broke uni chick who loves all of you

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

-I think attention to detail. I encapsulate every emotion, sensation, memory, and implication I possibly can in a story to try and capture exactly what someone is thinking and feeling. I don't let a single detail go to waste; it always serves a purpose in my writing.

How do you feel about your own writing?

-I don't love it, because I'm very much a perfectionist, but I can appreciate the fact that I'm a smarty pants and my thoughts are at least semi-coherent on the page :)

no pressure tags!! @risararelywrites @xluvablz @teenidlegirl @obxsprincess @fake-bleach

writer interview game

✎ 𖧷 · ° . ♡

Thank you for the tag Blondie! 🥰 @reverieblondie

When did you start writing?

-i wrote a bit in middle school but i consistently started writing fanfics in November '23!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

-i like both reading and writing romance 🥰

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

-man I don't know 😭 but if i can come close to emulating the talent that my moots possess then that's a huge compliment!

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

-pretty much wherever and whenever I can 😭 I write in the notes app on my phone lolol. and i mostly write in my bedroom.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

-ovulation week lol and caffeine 🥰 definitely gets the creative juices flowing for me.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

-i write about rain a lot in my fics. I also make nature references. I try to use a lot of poetry devices bc I just like that style of writing. Also I'm guilty of being very self indulgent at times.

What is your reason for writing?

-i use it as a coping mechanism and to escape the stresses of life lol. People seem to like it and I've met lots of lovely people in the process. Purely for fun and self enjoyment with hopes to publish maybe one day if I'm lucky enough and dedicated enough to write that much

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

-lol I love feral reactions and silly comments in the tags. Also when people tell me specifically what they loved about my fics or lines that they enjoyed are really nice to receive! 🥰🫶🏽

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

-hmmm not sure! I guess I just hope that people enjoy my writing and also think I'm a pleasant person aside from my writing endeavors! And also don't mind that I'm kind of all over the place and am kind of slow and sporadic with my updates. 🫶🏽 My hyperfixations have been ebbing and flowing and so my work depends a lot on where my mind is at.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

-hmmm not sure! I think I do a pretty good job with descriptions and details! I think I capture emotion pretty well.

How do you feel about your own writing?

-Some days I feel great! Other days not so much. I think my works have been flopping a lot lately and so I'm in my "writing for myself" era and just write whatever makes me happy at the moment and try to ignore the numbers. But it's hard sometimes 😭

no pressure tags: @mrsoharaa @sassypossumm @slushycoookie @muchosbesitos @miguel-ohara-wifey @yougavemeyourheartyouknow @actuallysaiyan @anonimusunnoaniswriting @swiftyangx12 @catladyoftheyr

@lxverrings @improbable-outset

[drippingmoon]

9, 18, 21

Hello! Thanks for the ask:) Putting most of it under a cut because it got a bit too long and, uh, sappy

9. What’s a series or franchise you secretly or not so secretly think you’d be, like, a REALLY good writers for if they’d stop being cowards and hire you already?

Fact 1: I'd suck as a tv writer lol

If I can't meander for years, get lost in my characters' thoughts and generally have unlimited freedom over how long scenes last, then it's not in my comfort zone and no thanks. It's for the same reason I've never done prompts. I get antsy if I have conditions

Fact 2: I actually haven't watched a series in so long, I'm out of loop and most of my fav shows are finished. On the other hand, goddammit, I would've signed up if Merlin were still ongoing because I have a lot of pent thoughts and feelings on it and would've loved if they'd patched it up a little

18. Tell us about a character who’s very different than you who you love a whole lot

I'll take this opportunity to gush over Anne some more, thanks🤣 tho Malchior was a close second. Funny, since they're also two characters in whose heads I spend most of my writing time.

Anne... she's someone who's on the brink, I can't say of what, and who always has these liminal thoughts that make her stop before an action, and. It's fascinating to see how she chooses to react, like rolling dice on her neutrality. And most of the time I don't know why she chooses what she does, until afterwards. And then it makes perfect sense.

But that's for writing. Personally, I love how much of a wild card she is. If I throw her in the middle of the story every plot beat gets shaken up🤣 tho her one constant would be her devotion to the things she loves. That was a surprise to me the first time around, because she very much exists out of herself, she's forgotten how to get a sense of what she really feels. She mostly relies on memory for that.

You probably wouldn't get that feeling most of the time since she's crisp in her reactions, but. There are some scenes when it hits her over the head, and just let me start screaming internally because I've never been as excited to write a scene than those before.

In short, for many other reasons I haven't listed here, she owns my whole heart (and the story sigh. That wasn't negotiated)

21. BIG ask: what do you think is the most important component of a good story?

Emotion. Also known as my one and only bane, as for the longest time I didn't know how they function and why they function. Since then it's become pretty clear to me that what you feel while writing can vastly differ from the reader's emotion, but it's still pretty baffling.

Yeah, emotion always remains with me after reading something, and that's what I'll remember. And it's also the hardest to grasp in writing, if you ask me

I'm also not a fan of the term 'good story', because... some will say characters, some will say plot. But there are days when I'm not in the mindset to read, and not even the best crafted stories will catch my interest. And I'll see them months later and think, read them and fall in love with them and remember everything from the page because it meant so much, and why was I an idiot back then, what was I thinking?

Also, you can sometimes not particularly like any of the characters or the plot, but the overall setting and the tone it gives can be perfect. I've fallen in love with some organ scenes before, and they were pretty poignant so I knew I'd be seeing them again, and it saved the book for me. I kept reading just to reach those scenes again, and feel what they've made me feel, because it was something unique to them

[buoyantsaturn]

2, 3 lmao, I'm not going to ask 17 because that would be extra mean to you specifically, 21, 32, and 42 (you pick which one)

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

oh lol. basically the first half of chapter 4 of camp counselors. originally it was like. will is kind of sad and tries to talk to the other counselors and try to get to know them better instead of just nico and then will was like. haha no. i think i will consume some weed gummies and then have a panic attack on the floor <3 and literally i could not stop him. every word that i wrote was ripped from my little fingers and forced itself onto the page <3 after that tho the fic continued on like. perfectly as planned lol

3. on a scale of 1-10 how much do you enjoy incorporating romance into the average story?

252 fics. they’re all romance bestie <3 literally the only fics that dont include romance as the main plot are my diary entry fics and 9 times out of 10 those still include some sort of like. interaction with a significant other or at least mention of one. i can think of One fic off the top of my head that is not romance-based in any way shape or form lol. so to answer ur question uhhhh 11 <3

21. pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

i do not think i would choose to write a book! i dont think i have the like. descriptive abilities required for book writing BUT  i Do think i can more easily get my Vision (tm) across more clearly through like. script writing. (bc i literally went to college for like. on-stage script writing but also we touched on video writing - plus i took a tv directing class that i hated <3 ). i have briefly talked to @ethannku about this so i think they would be a fun writing partner!! idk what we would write about <3 recently ive been dabbling in taking some scenes from fics that ive just been like. practicing the format with <3

32. do characters influence your writing style?

oh 100% and i think this is very clear across different installments of no love. at least i hope so anyway!! i feel like the few installments in lou’s pov had a much different energy than the nico and will installments. i also try very hard to make the will and nico povs different from each other bc i have a deep fear of what is essentially same face syndrome but for every character just being the same exact person, just with a different name

42. describe the aesthetic of a story in 5 words.

gonna give yall a little teaser for widower >:) 

whirlwind. communication. grief. whiplash. hope :)

thank u katherine!!

send me numbers!

[fairytalelover33]

Hello! Can I get an MCU ship? I'm female, straight, Gemini, INFP-T, I'm 5'4, and I am 21, in my last year of university in communication arts.

Despite my age, my friends say I act like a mom (constantly concerned and worried for friends most of the time) and have the mind of an old lady, I'm an empath and an ambivert but leaning towards introvert. I don't drink alcohol or coffee. (Milk, cocoa, or orange juice is my alcohol lol)

Shy and awkward with ppl I dont know much or ppl I just met but if we click, I am a completely different person, more talkative too, calm and graceful but chaotic if that makes sense XD but I do know when to be serious

I'm kind and patient, very understanding, considerate and thoughtful of others, I have a habit of putting other's priority over mine most of the time, which kind of results in me keeping things to myself a lot and then stress out (but I'm working on it XD) quite emotional too, the type that cries at every sad scene or movie I watch

Helping ppl makes me happy, whether that'd be giving advice or just being there for them or listening, but I will not tolerate those who take advantage of my kindness or disrespect others, esp ppl I care about, I rarely insult ppl, so if I do, that means my patience ran out

My friends say I'm very optimistic and hopeful and they always feel like "they're with a musical character" which I'll take because I love singing! I love music in general, you might catch me singing to Audrey Hepburn's Moon River out of nowhere, it's my favorite song, and I really love vintage clothing and aesthetics, so I enjoy thrift shopping a lot. I also like to read books (mostly fictional, Tolkien books are my fav, esp The Hobbit) watch movies, draw, work out, and just learn random things!

I like learning, I'm more on the theories and philosophical side though, I am very bad at math or anything dealing with calculations and numbers, I also have interest in learning languages, mythology, and astronomy, I love the stars and like to go to planetariums and museums when I have time, I just think the universe is just so fascinating and I just like to have fun in general! I'd love to travel to many places when given the chance

I am an animal lover, and I love kids, very dedicated to playing with my adorable little cousins. I daydream a lot, I love the fantasy genre so my imagination goes wild haha

A Black sheep in the family, and the youngest and only daughter too, so I kind of grew up independently most of the time.

Very much into giving and receiving hugs and amusement parks, I also have quite a sweet tooth, mostly for cookies and brownies, so I love cafes and pastry shops a lot. I apologize for such a long post, please take your time! Thank you in advance and I hope you have an amazing day! Take care 💖💖💖💖

Ok you sound like such a cool person, I’m sure I would remember you if I ever met you on the street you just seem like such an amazing soul!

For the MCU, I match you with: Loki!

•He loves how interested in mythology you are. Anytime you ask him questions about the validity of the stories earth has, he gets a little smile on his face and tells you all he knows

•He finds your knack for taking care of children and pets endearing

•From the moment he met you, he knew he could never betray you. He has made many mistakes in his past, and simply made the excuse that he’s the God of mischief, it’s in his nature. However he soon realized he would rather die than hurt you. You make him rethink himself, and you make him realize he can be better

•If he ever has to return to Asgard unexpectedly, you may be sad to wake and find yourself alone. However, he always leaves you a warm cup of Cocoa and a book by your bedside. Usually the book will contain a sticky note with his thoughts on a certain page. He wishes he could leave you more in his stead, but Thor is one impatient fellow.

•You are a refreshing person for him to be around. He’s used to being around people who see only the dark side of life, and it brings him down. You are like a breath of spring air, the crisp breeze that shows the departure of winter, and new life to come <3

I hope you liked this, I’m so sorry it took so long!! Have an amazing day!! ❤️

-J

[the-writing-mobster]

Can you gush all of them, please? Did we really miss something?😲 PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU! Is this what you want? Well you finally got it. I'm begging. Please for the love of God let us get to know more about it. Please God damnit!)

Ayyyy! Nice reference!

"PLEASE! I'm begging you Muffet! Is this what you want? Well you finally got it. I'm begging. Please for the love of God let me see her. Please God damnit." 

Excerpt from 50

In the wise words of Ms. Muffet... “Get up.”

This post contains soft spoilers.

🌍 World building! 🌍

"Mhm… it's all artificial. A marriage of science and magic. Like those stars… not real. They're wishing stones. They're supposed to relay messages, times and dates… but everyone just kind of likes looking at them. Makes the nights down here not so bad, you know?"

Excerpt from 21

Trivia hour:

The fake moon and sun of the Underground was built by Dr. Gaster! Basically, there are these two large lamps that scale a glass dome at the tip top of the hollow mountain. This glass dome also has the "wishing stones" aka the fake stars that blink and relay messages via light morse code. There are entire jobs dedicated to deciphering the messages. It's mostly maintenance, nothing of any political importance.

The faux moon and sun only appear in Snowden and the Capitol. The other districts are pretty submerged in the deep caverns of the underground.

I basically created this system because when I was writing I wanted beautiful sunset imagery because nothing to me is more romantic than sunsets, and I realized— “Oh shit! They're underground!...hmmmm” and then I cracked my writer knuckles and started worldbuilding!

It also paints a clear contrast between the surface and the underground. Frisk herself is in complete awe of the inner mechanics and workings of the Underground, and she is willing to completely start over and a live a life down there. Meanwhile the monsters want... Real sunlight. They want real stars. They want the surface. They want freedom.

Freedom for Frisk is completely different to freedom for the monsters, which will be shown in a future scene.

🥀 Frans 🥀

She couldn't remember who moved first, but one second they had been trapped in a staring contest, the next, she was pressed against him, his teeth biting desperately at her lips. She melted in his embrace, her soul humming with content, as if this was where she was always meant to be. 

They staggered back against the counter, and she moaned softly into his mouth as he pressed against her. They couldn't be close enough. They drove each other crazy. She didn't understand the craving they had for each other, but she definitely knew it was there. God, she needed him. For that moment she forgot that she was supposed to be mad. 

Excerpt from 31

God. These two can't control themselves when they're around each other and it only gets... worse? Better ( ? ) in part 4. Like seriously guys, they can't get their hands off each other. It's well deserved in my humble opinion. Sometimes I'm a little worried that y'all will get annoyed with how much they kiss but then I'm like “why would they get annoyed??? That's like... The whole reason they're reading this...🥴”

Yeah I read WDYW for the plot.

The plot:

OOOH, Actually there's a scene in 62 between the two of them that's so sweet. I actually got the inspiration for it when I was rewatching Hunger Games Catching Fire. 😌 (God it's so good)

Also— Oh my God guys... Guys... Chapter 64. They are so powerful. That's all I'mma say. Be looking forward to it. Power couple to the max.

💀 Gasters 💀

ACK I wrote a flashback scene in Papyrus's pov and my girlfriend and I were both like 🥺🥺😭😭 because of how heartbreaking it. Soooo just be prepared for sad skeleton boy hours.

Another thing I want to just kind of joke about is this; how do the skeletons even talk? I like to think I'm at least semi realistic with my portrayal of the skeletons. One day I was literally on a hike and I was mouthing a scene to myself (as one does) and I say the word "bitch" (don't ask) and I suddenly stop and I'm like. “Bitch... Bitch ... Bah...BAH” (say Bitch slowly out loud lol) and I was like "SHIT YOU NEED LIPS TO MAKE THE BAH SOUND!” and I had an existential crisis for like the entire rest of my hike.

Anyway, the Skeleton brothers use magic for everything. That's how the undertale fandom waves away all illogical worldbuilding holes. “Oh? How do the skeletons make the Bah sound without lips? That's easy, ✨ magic ✨ ”

💅🏻 Villains 💅🏻

Ugghhhh MUFFET is diabolical, but in Part 4 she does take a step back because Part 4 is Asgore's time to shine.

"You and your skeletons would do well to remember that this is my kingdom . And if you challenge me in my kingdom, or make promises you can't keep, you will suffer. I'll make sure of it. Keep this in mind Moxie , I like to play with my food."

Excerpt from 40

And BOY does he fulfill his promises. We do get to see more of his interactions with Alphys, which I'm excited to write.

I actually really love writing him. He has this affinity for poetry so any chance I feel that it's appropriate to have a little poem, I write one or I find a famous old poem written by Lewis Carroll or Edgar Allen Poe or something like that. In fact I have it as canon that Asgore would read Asriel a shit load of poems, and their favorite was Lewis Carroll and his nonsense poems like the Jabberwocky.

 Papyrus watched with an unbreaking gaze as Asgore flipped through the pages of a book. 

"Ah… here's a good one. Beware the Jabberwock, my son. The jaws that bite, the claws that catch…  beware the jubjub bird and shun the frumious bandersnatch… do you read poetry, Lieutenant?" 

Except from 28

That's all I've got for this post! I'll do some more gushing for other asks, but thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to rant about absolutely nothing!

[alackofghosts]

For the book meme! 2, 3, 10, 11, 15, 16, 19, 21, 22, 23, 27, 30

If that’s too many, just pick a few haha

already answered: 3. here 11., 15. and 19. here 21. here

2. What’s the worst book you’ve ever read, and why?

i was going to make a cheeky comment about every single estonian ya book being awful - i've had to read a whole bunch of those for school and it was a miserable time. i do not hate ya by default, but i think estonians are just singularly bad at it. but thinking about it some more, i actually have a more recent example of this, that i'll talk a bit more about for question 22

10. The book(s) you bought because the cover was pretty, and whether it was worth it

i'm way too stingy to buy anything just for the cover being pretty lol. i guess i sort of bought the balloon buster by norman s. hall because i thought the cover was hilariously action movie poster-y and i've got a terrible case of the giggles every time i see anything about balloons (or the term balloon buster tossed around), but i had a pretty solid idea that i was going to at least appreciate it.

it was worth each of those 4 us dollars i spent on it!! (i honestly feel like it's something i should scan and shove at archive.org. i was oddly Moved by the author)

continued under the cut :’)

16. The book that you don’t dare reread for fear it won’t be the same any more

for the longest time, it was the harry potter series. as i said before, i'm not much of a rereader so i've only ever read them once and when i was 17ish, i thought, hey, it might be fun to revisit, especially since it had been 10ish years since i read the first one and 4 since the last. but then the casual vacancy came out, which my dad read out loud and it was so bad. and i was forced to confront the fact that the series might not hold up on a reread.

i guess, in a way, this is still true. for all of jkr's fuckery, it's a series i had a ton of fun reading as a kid and talking about it with friends and i don't want to ruin this memory of it. i just have no active plans to reread it anymore

22. The book you finished even though you hated it, and the reasons why

a closed and common orbit by becky chambers. i really wanted to like this (and the wayfarers series in general) and, in theory, it absolutely felt like something i could get into? but if i was able to be like Eh Okay at the first book, this took everything i already was not especially into in the first book and made it more prominent.

it's very much a character study, which i don't think is a bad thing at all, but in this case it doesn't quite work, because the author is so averse to conflict, that there's barely any force propelling the character development forward. and it also makes all the characters feel the same, beyond the superficial stuff like their hobbies, and if you're not attached to any of them, it's just that much harder to get through it. compared to the first book, this has a much smaller cast too, so your choices are that much more limited. it also insists on spoonfeeding you everything about the setting in a way that just feels grating after a while.

as for why i continued reading it... by the time i realised that this was absolutely not working for me and was, in all likelyhood, not going to get any better, i only had like a 100 pages to go, so i struggled onwards

23. The book you expected to hate, didn’t, and then got angry about not hating

the only books i've read while expecting to hate them were the aforementioned estonian ya books for school and i did not like any of them. other than that, i just don't pick up books i think i'm going to hate. i can see the fun in doing this, but personally i have no patience for it

27. The book you’re embarrassed to admit you’ve read

on the whole, there's nothing i'm really ashamed of having read and any embarrassment at admitting to anything depends more on the context. sometimes i don't like talking about books pertaining interests near and dear to my heart with people closest to me, because it's just the kind of vulnerability i am Not about, but at other times i'll lead with that information, because it gets people's attention. i am embarrassed to talk about fantasy and sci-fi novels that i've read with my parents. no matter the kind of books i talk about with my coworkers, eventually someone's gonna be like 'geesh i should read more' and that's just no fun, so i don't usually bring anything up

30. The book you read the blurb of, constructed a version of in your mind, and were promptly disappointed by once you finally got around to actually reading it

the lodger by marie belloc lowndes comes to mind - before reading it, i had made it out to be a far more tense affair, but in the end it was more of a character study of the protagonist than a thriller/mystery. not, strictly speaking, a terrible book or anything, it was just not what i expected or wanted at the time

[longboxd]

2022 comics reading log

In the early days of last year, I was inspired by some twitter mutuals to post my comics reading in the new year and kept it up from Jan 1 2022 till just about the bitter end. Something about it really helped keep me invigorated by the medium even in some pretty bleak times, so I’m going to keep it going this year, but here at Longboxd instead of on twitter, which I'm trying to spend less time at. Before I can do that though, I want to archive the 2022 entries in a spot that’s more permanent/less twitter-iffic, so here we go—pretty much every comic I read in 2022! (As transcribed from here)

Part 1: 1-21 (of 387)

(I can "only" post 30 images at a time here, so that’ll dictate the length of these catch-up posts)

1) Timeless #1 - I mean, Lol at that final page reveal but this was a fun comic. I like Kang stories and this is good Kang.

2)  Service Industry by T Edward Bak

3) Human Target #2

4) Grrrl Scouts Stone Ghost #1

5) Krania #1 by Brian McCray - “I will unmake you” - I sorta wish this was hornier?

6) God Bless The Machine by Connor McCann - A messy dystopian exploration of tech and social media etc that trucks along efficiently, wraps up nicely. Definitely some JTHM energy in the drawings that is chunkily satisfying.

7) Reckless: Friend Of The Devil - A fun read, but didn’t work for me as well as the first. Less "badass/men’s adventure magazine moments"  than in vol one, maybe.

8) Cult Of The Ibis by Daria Tessler - Like Tove Jansson designed the "oh fuck I’m losing it" nightlife montage from your favorite noir movie.

9) Firepower #18

10) Future State: Gotham #7

11) Future State: Gotham #8

12) Rust Belt Review #3 - Very solid anthology that seems firmly targeted at the more "literary" side of alt-comics (though of course there are some rowdy exceptions). 2-3 cartoonists clearly influenced by Sammy H, lots of humanity in the stories. 

13) Tuki vol 1 - It's nice to have a new Jeff Smith comic to enjoy—he's great at this (this being funny/intense/heartfelt adventure comics), it's easy to sorta forget just *how good* until a new book comes out. Glad it's in B/W too.

14) Crisis #53 - The late 80s/early 90s was the best time for big format anthology magazines, great for just flipping through. Random issue of CRISIS has Sean Phillips doing his best McKean/Fregredo, & Steve Whittaker’s colors(!) on these Munoz SINNER pages are interesting (but print muddy).

15) Crisis #54 - This one has a Paul Grist/Mark Millar prison comic.

16) Avengers #98 - They don’t make ‘em like they used to (kind of bad, chaotic, and hard to read)

17) Nightwing: Leaping into the light TPB

18) X-Men #6

19) Human Target #3

20) Boy Maximortal #3 by Rick Veitch - Veitch found a new life in POD publishing in a way that feels like it’s a spiritual sibling to those Ditko/Snyder joints, & we are richer for it. These are uncut Metaphysical Boomer Cape Comics & I love them unreservedly (also the indicia warmed this slow cartoonist’s heart)

21) Ninja Funnies #1 

To be continued!

[lavenderkudzu]

Books & Some Initial Thoughts

Before I start: My thoughts are all over the place and probably don't make sense. But if you read them, cool!

"It's so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself."

It's Kind of a Funny Story was my favorite book when I was growing up. I used to read anything and everything, unless it was too scary. But for some reason in seventh grade I entered a whole new depth of books; I really didn't have any reason to be reading Room or anything like it but I was. Either way, something about It's Kind of a Funny Story just struck my soul so much that even though I forgot the plot just a few years later, I've said it was my favorite book for eight years.

I just reread it, since I'm in a bad place. Funnily enough, I have now been in a psych ward since the last time I read the book. A bit of foreshadowing I guess. I honestly don't remember a lot of those 6 days of my life, and I don't think I really need to. But going back now, at age 21, the book still resonates deeply. Even more intensely. When I'm depressed there are so many words in my head, so many thoughts, and worries, and anxieties, but none of them come out. I stutter. I stop. I hold it in. Somehow Ned Vizzini got past the lock depression puts on your mouth and put it all into pages. With six days of mental institution stories myself, I saw even more of me. Surprisingly, I saw my passion for urban planning in there too. Maybe that's where it started.

It feels like I'm drowning. I keep picturing myself in the water near a shore, under a rocky overhang. The current is strong and whipping me and circles. The overhang makes a cave that is dark, and empty, and no one can hear me. I am screaming and my arms are up in the air and I am flailing. I have been in the water for what feels my entire life, and I am tired, and I cannot fight myself anymore. I still am, because the alternative is obviously not a fun option, but the currents are taking me and I don't know how to escape them. My therapist said that sometimes you have to just let the currents take you, and you'll have a better chance at getting out. But feeling is so hard. And even harder when you feel so, so alone. She also asked me if there's anyone who I know would just let me cry and be okay with it. I don't think there is or ever has been. But I am here and have survived thusfar and that is keeping me from going underwater. It is not enough anymore. But if I drag someone into the water with me, I will drown them. No one can save me, and if they try, I will bring them down with me or maybe they'll realize they can't and get to shore fast enough. And then I'll be even more hopeless.

The toughest part of loneliness and heartbreak is that there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to wait. Time heals. Turn loneliness into solitude. But solitude is less fun when that's the only option you have. Going to the park (despite my passion for parks) is less fun when the only reason you're going is because you haven't left your room in 4 days and your dad is concerned about you. The numbness of this depressive episode is deeper. It is hard to hope. To feel excited. To find something to fight for. When you feel alone all you can do is tell yourself that love will come.

"Getting in touch with the lovelessness within and letting that lovelessness speak its pain is one way to begin again on love's journey." - bell hooks

I am tired of lovelessness. But bitterness will never bring love. And I am not sure how much hope I can create for myself right now. I'm not sure what this blog will end up being, if anything, but I think I just need a place to put the thoughts like these when no one else is there to listen. Also, I doubt anyone will see this, but I am not going to harm myself! Just experiencing a lot of serotonin and dopamine imbalance. Lol.

[master-riku]

09 to 22/50 2021Book Challenge

I didn't mention this, but I changed my # to 32 because I'm fairly confident I will not be able to reach 50 by January 1st.

09. Circe by Madeline Miller {

I didn't think I would enjoy fiction so much, but this really brought my attention back to Greek Mythology. I'm kind of tired of learning about Greek gods/goddesses to be honest, but this was refreshing and fun to read. It didn't feel agonizing and the descriptions and method of writing the story felt akin to my first experiences reading old Greek myths as a teenager - which was fun.

10. Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo {

Not sure about it. I didn't hate it completely, but I am not a fan of stories being told in certain prose...and it's not the author's fault that I don't like her style of prose. It was very easy to read, and the setting/plot grabbed my attention, but it was hard to open my phone and keep stuck to its pages.

11 - 15. Spiritual Books LOL.

16. Migrations by Charlotte McConaghy {

I absolutely loved her writing style, but it was seriously too "Hollywood" for me. It felt like she was aiming her book to be a hit romance movie...and not many books can pull off being cinematic if your aim is to make it one. Felt like things could have been more interesting if she hadn't tried to make it so dramatic... With her writing, it could've been a lot more hauntingly beautiful if she chose to end it in other...ways.

17. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi {

This was partly an autobiography of a person I didn't know at all. I decided to read it because the summary was about a surgeon operating on many people and ironically finding himself in their shoes when he discovers he has cancer. It's supposed to be a book that talks about what it means to live and what he found was the meaning of life. I can't say for sure that the book was explosive, but I did cry a little bit in the end. The author really emphasized on how desperate he was to live, and honestly - that is enough for me to feel moved and inspired.

18. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig {

Not sure why people liked this book... I read that this is considered a "portal story," and usually I enjoy them, but this felt like watching a sad woman go through her life being sad and then indecisive and then picky, and then go back to "oh I want to live." Obviously that was the point of the book, but...the character just was embarrassing and didn't feel familiar to me at all. Maybe it's supposed to connect to general feeling of situations, but it felt way too...bland for me.

19. Why Fish Don't Exist by Lulu Miller {

This is my favorite book so far! There's so much to say but not enough words for me to articulate how I felt so at peace with the writer's conclusion. Everything about the book resonated with me. It's about the founder of Stanford University, but also about the author's life, but also about how to deal with Chaos and what it means to live life - I guess? It's a lot... but I wish I read more books like this.

20. West with Giraffes by Lynda Rutledge {

I desperately tried to find another book similar to "Why Fish Don't Exist", but I didn't, and what was recommended to me was a fictional tale of a real event. The story centers around a man who survives the Dustbowl in the 1930s United States and a huge hurricane that I never even heard of until now. During the "Depression Era" there was some sliver of happiness found in two giraffes who had to make their way from the East to the West to enter San Diego Zoo. I love animals, and this book made me appreciate animals more. It's sad, funny, shocking, and full of every feeling one can muster. Except maybe horror? Lol.

21. Yet another spiritual book...

22. His Only Wife by Peace Adzo Medie {

Okay, so I'm not finished with this book yet - but I will be soon. It's the first Ghanaian author I have ever read other than any historical book, so there are things that I never heard of, and I love it. The story seems like a generic romance love triangle, but I am a sap for it anyway. I'm really enjoying the plot so far and am curious about that "woman" who seems to ruin this entire family's relationship.

[boisheviks]

You're supposed to be prepping for interviews so I'm only going to make you do the evens that you haven't done yet

Thanks Jbae

2. ARE YOU OUTGOING OR SHY?

Shy

4. ARE YOU EASY TO GET ALONG WITH?

Yeah

6. WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO?

People who are nice and funny

8. WHO FROM THE OPPOSITE GENDER IS ON YOUR MIND?

Nobody...?

10. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD A DEEP CONVERSATION WITH?

You lol

12. WHAT ARE YOUR 5 FAVORITE SONGS RIGHT NOW?

4 AM - Paris Lain

Sunshine - Sia

Tell Me You Love Me - Demi Lovato

Another Sad Love Song - Khalid

All I Want For Christmas Is You (the MIDI version tho)

14. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LUCK AND MIRACLES?

Yeah

16. WOULD YOU KISS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED AGAIN?

Never kissed anyone

18. DO YOU STILL TALK TO YOUR FIRST CRUSH?

Nah

20. DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEIGHBORS?

Yeah, they’re chill

22. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRAVEL?

Answered

24. FAVORITE PART OF YOUR DAILY ROUTINE?

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch even though I have more important things to do

26. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU WAKE UP?

Fall back asleep

28. WHO ARE YOU MOST COMFORTABLE AROUND?

You

30. DO YOU EVER WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Yeah probably one day

32. WHICH CELEBRITIES WOULD YOU HAVE A THREESOME WITH?

...no

34. DO YOU PLAY SPORTS? WHAT SPORTS?

Taekwondo (haven’t done this since like June tho rip) and marching band, if that counts lol (although I guess I’m technically done with that). I used to play basketball and softball tho. 

36. HAVE YOU EVER LIKED SOMEONE AND NEVER TOLD THEM?

This goes for like every single person I’ve liked.

38. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM GIRL/GUY?

The girl reading this ;) 

jk lol

40. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO AFTER HIGH SCHOOL?

Not go to college (however, I will be unfortunately)

42. IF YOUR BEING EXTREMELY QUIET WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

It means... I’m being normal? Idk I’m normally pretty quiet. I guess it can mean we aren’t close or I’m tired/not in a good mood too.

44. TRIP TO OUTER SPACE OR BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN?

Answered

46. WHAT ARE YOU PARANOID ABOUT?

EVERYTHING

48. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DRUNK?

Nope, don’t plan to be either

50. WHAT WAS THE COLOUR OF THE LAST HOODIE YOU WORE?

Black

52. ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?

Height LMAO

54. FAVOURITE STORE?

Answered

56. FAVOURITE COLOUR?

Answered

58. LAST THING YOU ATE?

Strawberry

60. EVER WON A COMPETITION? FOR WHAT?

Yeah kind of, we got an award for an app we started making

62. BEEN ARRESTED? FOR WHAT?

Nah

64. TELL US THE STORY OF YOUR FIRST KISS?

Hasn’t happened

66. DO YOU LIKE YOUR TUMBLR FRIENDS MORE THAN YOUR REAL FRIENDS?

Nah, don’t have any tumblr friends (bc most of my friends are from other places)

68. TWITTER OR TUMBLR?

Tumblr

70. NAMES OF YOUR BESTFRIENDS?

我沒有朋友

72. WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR TOWELS?

One is light purple and the other is light blue

72. HOW MANY PILLOWS DO YOU SLEEP WITH?

One

74. HOW MANY STUFFED ANIMALS DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE?

Too many

76. WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR UNDERWEAR?

White

78. FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR?

Answered

80. WHAT COLOUR PANTS?

Blue

82. FAVOURITE MOVIE?

Whiplash or some other movie I’m not thinking of right now

84. MEAN GIRLS OR 21 JUMP STREET?

Mean Girls, haven’t seen 21 Jump Street

86. FAVOURITE CHARACTER FROM FINDING NEMO?

idk Dory maybe

88. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO TODAY?

My mom

90. NAME A PERSON YOU LOVE?

The girl reading this

92. IN A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE?

Nah

94. HOW MANY SWEATERS/HOODIES DO YOU HAVE?

At least 5

96. FAVOURITE ACTRESS?

Probably Kat Barrell

98. DO YOU TAN A LOT?

Nah

100. HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

Stressed

102. DO YOU REGRET ANYTHING FROM YOUR PAST?

Yeah

104. DO YOU MISS ANYONE FROM YOUR PAST?

Yeah

106. EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART?

No, as far as I know of

108. WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING?

PREPPING FOR AN INTERVIEW FOR MIT THAT’S TOMORROW LOL

110. HAVE YOU EVER LIKED SOMEONE SO MUCH IT HURT?

Yeah (and you should know)

112. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU CRIED IN FRONT OF?

My parents lol

114. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN OUT OF YOUR PROVINCE/STATE?

Yeah a lot

116. ARE YOU LISTENING TO MUSIC RIGHT NOW?

Yeah

118. DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?

I’m half Chinese so yeah

120. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?

Meh a little

122. IS CHEATING EVER OKAY?

Nope

124. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?

Ehhh... I’ll say no

126. ARE YOU CURRENTLY BORED?

Not exactly

128. WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME?

Nah

130. DO YOU LIKE SUBWAY?

Nah

132. WHO’S THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD A DEEP CONVERSATION WITH?

I literally just answered this

134. CAN YOU COUNT TO ONE MILLION?

Theoretically, yes.

136. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

Open

138. CURLY OR STRAIGHT HAIR?

Straight

140. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Summer

142. FAVOURITE MONTH?

Idk July or August bc no school

144. DARK, MILK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE?

Answered

146. WAS TODAY A GOOD DAY?

It was ok

148. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE QUOTE?

"I think I'd like to live like a vegetable and make no important decisions." - Joseph Heller

150. GET THE CLOSEST BOOK NEXT TO YOU, OPEN IT TO PAGE 42, WHAT’S THE FIRST LINE ON THAT PAGE

Ummm it’s my math book but “Value of f(x) when x = c”