#the book is better than the movie because of the point of view
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himblebo · 1 year ago
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I feel so fucking seen
#the book is better than the movie because of the point of view#I fully loved the movie but it is all in the present#the book is looking back on a tumultuous awakening in reflection#there is something so much more cathartic about Olivia’s narration because it’s told from a point past the events#it’s just like Georgie said being in love was like it’s how she’s remembering it#too horrible to speak of and too delicious#and the reckoning with feelings that you didn’t understand when you felt them but realize now for what they really were#god#I have never had a unique experience because I have gone through the exact same thought patterns and anxieties#and it’s one of the most comforting thing about reading queer narratives from the past#the resonance is so complete#and it gives strength to narratives or letters that are not overtly queer but resonate exactly as such#it’s the comfort of ‘we have always existed teenage girls have always fallen in love with their teachers’#you are not sick or wrong you are just isolated by your own experience#and I just feel so#in touch with a time in my life that I barely felt present for because it was so difficult to process those feelings that I dissociated#among other external factors in my life that were making me depressed#but those feelings#the realization of real desire for the first time at the tender age of 16#it’s like a fucking earthquake#the doubt and self loathing and the whiplash of hope#she captured it so perfectly#Olivia#Olivia 1949#Olivia 1951#Dorothy Strachey
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fozmeadows · 1 month ago
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There's a lot of conversations to be had around the current influx of Americans to Xiaohongshu (RedNote/Little Red Book) ahead of the TikTok ban, many of which are better articulated by more knowledgeable people than me. And for all the fun various parties of both nationalities seem to having with memes and wholesome interactions, it's undoubtedly true that there's also some American entitlement and exoticization going on, which sucks. But a sentiment I've seen repeatedly online is that, if it's taken actually speaking to Chinese people and viewing Chinese content for Americans to understand that they've been propagandized to about China and its people, then that just proves how racist they are, and I want to push back on that, because it strikes me as being a singularly reductive and unhelpful framing of something far more complex.
Firstly: while there's frequently overlap between racism and xenophobia, the distinction between them matters in this instance, because the primary point of American propaganda about China is that Communism Is Fundamentally Evil And Unamerican And Never Ever Works, and thinking a country's government sucks is not the same as thinking the population is racially inferior. The way most Republicans in particular talk about China, you'd think it was functionally indistinguishable from North Korea, which it really isn't. Does this mean there's no critique to be made of either communism in general or the CCP? Absolutely not! But if you've been told your whole life that communist countries are impoverished, corrupt and dangerous because Communism Never Works, and you've only really encountered members of the Chinese diaspora - i.e., people whose families left China, often under traumatic circumstances, because they thought America would be better or safer - rather than Chinese nationals, then no: it's not automatically racist to be surprised that their daily lives and standard of living don't match up with what you'd assumed. Secondly: TikTok's userbase skews young. While there's certainly Americans in their 30s and older investigating Xiaohongshu, it seems very reasonable to assume that the vast majority are in their teens or twenties - young enough that, barring a gateway interest in something like C-dramas, danmei or other Chinese cultural products, and assuming they're not of Chinese descent themselves, there's no reason why they'd know anything about China beyond what they've heard in the news, or from politicians, or from their parents, which is likely not much, and very little firsthand. But even with an interest in China, there's a difference between reading about or watching movies from a place, and engaging firsthand, in real time, with people from that place, not just through text exchanges, but in a visual medium that lets you see what their houses, markets, shopping centers, public transport, schools, businesses, infrastructure and landmarks look like. Does this mean that what's being observed isn't a curated perspective on China as determined both by Xiaohongshu's TOU and the demographic skewing of its userbase? Of course not! But that doesn't mean it isn't still a representative glimpse of a part of China, which is certainly more than most young Americans have ever had before.
Thirdly: I really need people to stop framing propaganda as something that only stupid bigots fall for, as though it's possible to natively resist all the implicit cultural biases you're raised with and exist as a perfect moral being without ever having to actively challenge yourself. To cite the sacred texts:
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Like. Would the world be a better place if everyone could just Tell when they're being lied to and act accordingly? Obviously! But that is extremely not how anything actually works, and as much as it clearly discomforts some to witness, the most common way of realizing you've been propagandized to about a particular group of people is to interact with them. Can this be cringe and awkward and embarrassing at times? Yes! Will some people inevitably say something shitty or rude during this process? Also yes! But the reality is that cultural exchange is pretty much always bumpy to some extent; the difficulties are a feature, not a bug, because the process is inherently one of learning and conversation, and as individual people both learn at different rates and have different opinions on that learning, there's really no way to iron all that out such that nobody ever feels weird or annoyed or offput. Even interactions between career diplomats aren't guaranteed smooth sailing, and you're mad that random teenagers interacting through a language barrier in their first flush of enthusiasm for something new aren't doing it perfectly? Come on now.
Fourthly: Back before AO3 was banned in China, there was a period where the site was hit with an influx of Chinese users who, IIRC, were hopping over when one of their own fansites got shut down, which sparked a similar conversation around differences in site etiquette and how to engage respectfully. Which is also one of the many things that makes the current moment so deeply ironic: the US has historically criticized China for exactly the sort of censorship and redaction of free speech that led to AO3 being banned, and yet is now doing the very same thing with TikTok. Which is why what's happening on Xiaohongshu is, IMO, such an incredible cultural moment: because while there are, as mentioned, absolutely relevant things to be said about (say) Chinese censorship, US-centrism, orientalism and so on, what's ultimately happening is that, despite - or in some sense because of - the recent surge in anti-Chinese rhetoric from US politicians, a significant number of Americans who might otherwise never have done so are interacting directly with Chinese citizens in a way that, whatever else can be said of it, is actively undermining government propaganda, and that matters.
What it all most puts me in mind of, in fact, is a quote from French-Iranian novelist and cartoonist Marjane Satrapi, namely:
“The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same.”
And at this particular moment in history, this strikes me as being a singularly powerful realization for Americans in particular to have.
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lostintransist · 3 months ago
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Fallen Angel | Sweet Girl
AO3
Simon’s teammates began to show up more and more in your everyday life. They didn’t just come for kisses either. Kyle began to drag you to a new coffee shop every time he came back to town. He would pay despite your instance to cover the drinks at least some of the time. He loved to talk books with you.
He introduced you to his favorite used bookstore, a magical place that seemed to go on forever. In the back of the building, he showed you a narrow staircase and enticed you to follow him down. What you found was a dim, but not dusty basement. Shelves with flopped over books and copies of National Geographic from 1920, still with the classic yellow border, dotted the space. The basement seemed to run the length of the deep building.
At one point Kyle slipped from view as you stepped into a concrete room taller than you by at least twice. When you turn around, he had disappeared. Starting to panic you focused on working your way back through the dim to the staircase.
You made a horror movie actress proud when two hands shot out of the dark to grab you. Kyle laughs as he pulls you close, dropping a kiss on your hair. He apologizes repeatedly when you start to cry.
“Fuck, I hate scary things, Kyle,” you push away from his chest.
He does not let go. Fucker uses all those muscles to keep you tight to him as he rocks back and forth and apologizes again.
“I’m so, so sorry sweet girl. I won’t do it again. Now I know that scary movies and haunted houses are out of the picture.”
“Better fucking not be in the picture. Scary movies are fine if I can laugh through them, but absolutely no haunted house. I refuse to almost catch another case,” when you pull back from his hold you pat the tear stains on his chest. Mementos to remind him not to do it again.
“You almost caught a case from a haunted house?” Kyle looks both disturbed and intrigued.
“You see, haunt actors don’t like getting hit. I mean, fair, I don’t either. I had a bad ex that dragged me to one, despite repeatedly telling him not to do it. He left me in the haunted house, and I punched out of fear. They pulled me out the side and I got stuck in the manager’s office until the police could come and sort everything out. Broke up with that bastard and caught a ride home from the officer.”
Kyle looks more and more concerned for you the longer you go on.
“But you went to a scary movie with Roach?” He sputters.
“First off we laughed through that whole movie and when the scary bits did happen he let me hide in his shoulder.” You stick a finger in his face, “And secondly why do all of you call him such a mean name? I don’t get it! Gary is a perfectly good name.”
Kyle leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the tip of the finger you pointed at him with. You glower at him.
“It’s not a mean name sweet girl. Gary has made it out of so many impossible situations people started calling him Roach, because he’s damn near unkillable. That man could have a building dropped on him and only come out with a broken collar bone. It’s a sign of respect that he has a call sign.”
“Fine,” you narrow your eyes at him, “But I will still be calling him Gary. I don’t like bugs. Is that why all the guys call you Gaz?”
“Yep, and why Johnny is called Soap, and Simon goes by Ghost. Well, Simon goes by Ghost for a lot of reasons but a call sign is one of them.”
Wiping your hand over your face once more to remove any leftover fear you hold out your other one to Kyle.
“I feel like you owe me for making me cry.”
He takes it, sliding his fingers between yours.
“How about I buy you a book?” He cajoles.
Narrowing your eyes at him as you follow him out of the dark you counter.
“How about three?”
“Make it two and you have yourself a deal,” he tossed back a devastating smile.
“Fine. You are forgiven.”
Using your interlaced fingers Kyle pulled you close dropping a kiss on your lips.
“Good, would hate to have you mad at me, sweet girl.”
You didn’t know how to feel about the pet name but let it ride for now.
Fallen Angel Masterlist | Masterlist
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viiper1 · 4 months ago
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The perfect Date.
The ideal date they would plan for you.
Head canons
Mentioned: Armin, Jean, eren, Conny, Reiner
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Armin Arlert.
Would start off with a Picknick near a flower field.
Would make you a flower crown.
You’d watch the sunset together and do cloud gazing/star gazing (depending on how long you guys stayed)
Or Picknick at the beach
and if he thinks you’re the type of person to like or value that sort of thing he will give you cute seashells he found.
Afterwards you’d take a walk on the beach, walking barefoot in the sand during the sunset.
He’d probably take some pictures too to remember this date. For some reason he always takes the best pictures of you without even really trying.
And MIGHT gift you a self made memory book or a handwritten letter.
If it’s colder he’d take you ice skating
will teach you how to properly skate because you keep falling on your ass.
Don’t worry he’s catching you (most of the times)
Connie Springer.
Would take you to an arcade or a gaming center (and laugh at you every time you lose to him) would swear that you cheated when you win against at him more than once.
You two almost spend the whole day there completely forgetting about the time because you were having so much fun.
Or a amusement park/fun fair
he will try to encourage you if you’re scared to ride a ride
and even make fun of you a little bit “don’t tell me you’re scared, how cute” he teases
On the ride you’re BOTH screaming your asses off.
“You seemed scared…at your grown age…cute I guess” You made fun of him tease him back.
You two almost ride all the roller coasters
He tried to win you a plushie on claw machine but it takes him like 6 tries untill he gets one small plushy
“I swear these machines are rigged!” He says but then tries again on a different machine.
You make him ride the Ferris wheel with you at the end.
Jean Kirstein.
Drive in movie theater,
If you’re watching a scary movie it’s probably because he thought you’d snuggle into him in fear but then he’d be the one to claw on to you but he swears on his grandma that he isn’t scared.
Dinner date but he’s making dinner for you.
Idk why but I love the thought of Jean making dinner for his lover.
OR you’re both cooking together,
maybe even messing around and smearing a bit of flower on his face but he’d definitely get revenge for that one.
He’d have candles lit and the lights out, it would be super romantic.
Surprisingly the food doesn’t taste bad.
Afterwards if you’re not too tired, you both would point portraits of each other and he’s lowkey a good painter so he did a really nice job.
If you’re too tired you’d just snuggle in bed and watch a movie.
Eren Yeager.
Also Arcade or gaming center
it was supposed to be cute a first but it turns very competitive very fast
he doesn’t like to lose and if he does he’ll say he let you win on purpose.
You better watch out at laser tag he will not hold back just because you’re his gf.
Takes most games supper serious and you barely have a chance at winning.
Feels kinda bad afterwards so he buys you a plushy and roses at the store around the corner as a surprise.
Or a rooftop restaurant dinner/bar
the view was so beautiful, it felt unreal,
he was paying ofc
He bought you a bracelet with the initial “E” on it, and expects you to wear it everyday.
Will ask why you’re not wearing it if he doesn’t see it on your arms throughout the relationship/marriage.
Reiner Braun.
Romantic fancy dinner
He would 100% stand there with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and open the car door for you.
It’s a Very fancy restaurant but he didn’t tell you so you lowkey look like you wandered into the wrong building. He feels kinda bad afterwards when you tell him you feel out of place and underdressed.
You already KNOW he’s paying.
Or picnic and candle painting
He’d try his best to make a pretty candle but he’s not as good at it as you.
He puts them in the loving room but doesn’t really want to use the candles because he doesn’t want them to ‘disappear’
After you made him go on another candle painting date in hops that you get to burn at least one of the, now four, candles he still insists on not using them and suggests a different normal candle.
Ofc if you Insist on wanting to use one of the four, he’ll let you but he’s lowkey a bit sad to see them go since they reminded him of the date.
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Thank you for reading<3
@briefpeachdinosaur
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navybrat817 · 2 years ago
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his tongue 👅
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YES. This man and his tongue.
What That Tongue Do?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky doesn't get why you're attracted to an actor who plays him in another world, but he's happy to remind you what his tongue can do. Word Count: Over 1.4k Warnings: Multiverse discussion, Sebastian Stan and his tongue, d/irty talk, implied o/ral (f. and m. receiving), jealousy, humor, Bucky Barnes (yep, he's a warning) A/N: It's Sebastian Stan's birthday and this is my take on Bucky discovering his existence. And for the Bucks and Noble server, a quick position mention. Hehe. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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“I don’t like him.”
You chortled as you turned in your chair to face Bucky, amusement twinkling in your eyes as his nostrils flared. “Why don’t you like him? That’s you. Well. Kind of. His name is Sebastian Stan.”
Bucky honestly couldn’t remember at this point if Tony had played around with something or if Wanda joined in and tampered with an experiment, but the monitors showcased what they were told were different versions of themselves in various worlds and dimensions. And you, his girlfriend, zeroed in on the screen where some punk who admittedly looked similar to him couldn’t stop showing his tongue and licking his lips.
Everyone else left quickly after that.
Does this guy have an oral fixation or is he a slut? Not that I would shame him if he is, but I don’t like how you keep looking at it.
“That is not me,” he stated, crossing his arms with a defiant glare. Had it been his old metal arm instead of the upgraded vibranium one, the distinct “whir” sound would’ve filled the room from how hard he clenched his fingers. “He’s a punk.”
“Steve is a punk. Seb is an actor,” you corrected him.
“Oh, it’s ‘Seb’ now. The punk has a nickname.”
“He is not a punk,” you giggled, the sound bringing a small smile to his face before he raised a lip at the screen.
I know punks and he’s a fucking punk. He can’t fool me. He looks shorter than I am. Why does his hair look so good after a fight? That’s not realistic. I have to admit, they got the likeness of the arm pretty close. Wait, do I make those facial expressions? Why are you smiling at his nose crinkle?
“His tongue is out. AGAIN. I swear he’s doing it on purpose,” he snarled when your head whipped back toward the monitor. “Seriously?! You’re looking?!”
“Only because he looks like you, Bucky!” you said innocently, facing him again. There was nothing innocent about it. The moment that guy’s fucking tongue moved, you clenched your thighs together. The only one he wanted you to do that for was him. “And like I didn’t hear you groan when you saw the Earth 314 version of me.”
That is not the same because I don’t love her. I love you.
“Fine. So, he’s an actor,” he grumbled as you got up and did your best to block out the view of the faces behind you. “And he ‘plays’ me?”
“Yeah, he does. In that world, James Buchanan Barnes, and pretty much everyone here that you know, are comic book characters brought to life. He plays you in the movies. Oh, they made a show, too. About you and Sam.”
What kind of world is that?
“Sam and I in a show together? That would never work.”
“It does in their world,” you said, touching his cheek and bringing his attention back to you and your loving smile. “Stop giving the television that death stare, please? Those monitors are shutting down in the next few minutes and we’ll never see those faces again.”
“Please. You think Stark didn’t find a way to keep that Earth’s video on a loop to taunt me at any given moment?”
Things were better between Bucky and Tony after what happened in Siberia, but the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, according to the actor who portrayed him, liked to give him hell from time to time. It was usually in good fun. Usually.
“So, I shouldn’t tell you it’s Sebastian Stan’s birthday today?” you asked, sucking your lips in as you tried not to giggle.
His nostrils flared again as he took a breath. He was a war hero. The former Winter Soldier turned Avenger. He was not about to be jealous of some actor in another dimension that you’d never see. “Why do you know that?”
“Because the information is right there,” you said, pointing over your shoulder. You had the decency to not turn around. “He was born on August 13th, 1982, in Constanta, Romania and he-”
Your eyes widened as Bucky gently shoved two vibranium fingers into your mouth, pushing them deep enough to make you pause. “Stop talking about the man who can’t keep his fucking tongue in his mouth.”
With a moan, you wrapped your mouth tighter around the digits and bobbed your head. You already choked on him once today. Maybe you’d do it again. Seeing that guy with the bright blue eyes though, he wanted to give you a firm reminder of what he could do to you with his tongue.
Why lust after him when you have me to worship you?
“Why do you like it so much?” he asked as his fingers slipped free.
You began to laugh before he tilted your head to kiss your neck, the sound shifting to a moan. “I don’t like his tongue, Bucky. I like yours.”
“Not good enough,” he murmured against your skin, trying to go slow when he was two seconds away from ripping your clothes off and bending you over the console. “I need you to love my tongue.”
“I do,” you whined, palming him through his pants. “Love when you get it nice and deep, just like your cock. Or when you thrust your fingers in and flick my clit with the tip of your tongue. Make me drip until I’m practically a puddle and you still don’t stop.”
“You and that fucking mouth,” he groaned, laying you back as best as he could and sliding your skirt up. The growing stain on your panties made him twitch and he told himself it had nothing to do with the actor who played his part well. It was all him.
“Remember the last time you ate me out?” you asked, biting your lip as he slid your soaked underwear down your legs. As much as he wanted to shove them in your mouth because he loved making you taste yourself, he didn’t want to smother a single sound. “You had me ride your face and it wasn’t enough. You spun me around after the first orgasm and kept your tongue inside when I got my mouth on your cock.”
That position deserves more attention.
“It’s never enough. I always want more,” he said, taking in the glistening lips of your pussy as he glanced down at what belonged to him and licking his lips as he ran a finger along the slit. “If you could eat yourself out, you’d understand why I love being buried between your thighs.”
“I’ll settle for your cock,” you said as he sank to his knees, a shuddering breath leaving your body. “And I’ll also settle for your tongue first.”
“Should make you beg for it,” he said in a low voice, taking a long lick and groaning at your taste. Sweet and a bit tangy, a hint of your essence coating his taste buds and daring him to have more. “Should slap this pretty pussy and remind you exactly who it belongs to.”
“It’s yours. It blelongs to you, Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes. No one else,” you said, your hand shooting out to grip his long hair and twist the stands. “Get your tongue or your cock in me. I’m begging you.”
Bucky smirked, watching your hole clench around nothing. He’d fill you up the way you need. “That’s my good girl. Gonna make a mess all over this. Might make you lick it up when we’re finished.”
“Not to interrupt?” Steve’s voice rang out over the room speaker as Bucky gripped your thighs. “But I think the speaker is on and we can kind of hear everything?”
And you’re telling us now?!
“Stark has bet me twenty bucks that your lady will call out Sebastian’s name when you bring her to orgasm,” Thor chimed in. “Just so you know, my friend, I have the utmost faith that you will please her.”
You let go of Bucky’s hair to cover your mouth, your body shaking with laughter when he growled.
Of course, I fucking will.
“Make it forty bucks, Point Break. Ha. Bucks. Bucky. Yeah, get to it.”
“You heard the man,” you said through your laughter, not at all embarrassed by the commentary. “Get to it.”
Taking one last look at Sebastian’s face on the screen, Bucky smiled in determination and did exactly that.
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Happy Sinday! Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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once-upon-an-animation · 11 months ago
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There are many things that frustrate me with the writing of Annabeth in the PJO TV Show, but I think one thing that I haven’t seen people talk much about is the mini-arc of Percy needing to help Annabeth with her sense of fun/humanity.
Just so we’re clear, I absolutely hate this arc.
Prior to the show’s premiere, I believe there was a quote from Rick discussing new-ish things that we’d see in the show, and one of those things was Percy helping Annabeth “tap into her humanity”. I can’t find the exact quote, but it should be on the series update Twitter account if you search it.
When I first read this quote, I wasn’t exactly sure what it meant, but I thought maybe we’d get an expansion of the theme of forgiveness that we got in the original books, or maybe we’d get an arc about Annabeth’s pride and how that gets in the way of her relationships with others. Or maybe they’d try and break down the ways in which Annabeth helps to uphold the gods’ ways of doing things, and align her more with the mortal point of view (which they essentially did, but not the overall point).
What I certainly wasn’t expecting was for them to strip Annabeth of most, if not, all of her smaller/softer traits, and give her this unusually stoic and stiff personality, where she suddenly has no familiarity with casual aspects of the mortal world (movies, Disney world, common idioms), and needs Percy to introduce these concepts to her in an effort to “unlock” her humanity.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Words cannot emphasize enough how much I despise this arc. Not only is it entirely nonsensical for Annabeth not to be familiar with these things (she was with her dad at least until the age of 7 and she goes to a camp full of other children who are regularly in contact with the mortal world; do you seriously expect me to believe that at no point in her 12 years of life, she never saw a single film, heard of Disneyworld, or heard common idioms and slang terms from her camp-mates? Seriously???)
But ALSO!
Book!Annabeth had PLENTY of humanity to go around! Even with her pride and initial coldness towards Percy, she plays hackeysack with him and Grover on the first day of their quest! She has a cute silly crush/admiration/infatuation on Luke. She nerds out big time over the St. Louis Arch! She’s the first to steal clothing from Waterland! She screams and cries when she encounters the mechanical spiders! She has an expression of sadness when she shares her backstory about Thalia and Luke! She gets lost in her little construction game at the Lotus, so much so that Percy has to use her phobia to pull her out of the trance! She grabs Percy’s hand when they first enter the Underworld because she’s scared! She tears up when it’s time to leave Cerberus!
And you stripped her of all these things, because you’re so desperate to overemphasize the Percabeth romance, and you felt that it was absolutely necessary to have Percy educate Annabeth on “unlocking humanity”??? Why!!!!
Not only did Book!Percy help Annabeth discuss things about bad parents and approaching forgiveness, but Book!Percy already had something important to offer Annabeth: loyalty, trustworthiness, and reliability. You didn’t need to take away her already-present traits and wits to convince us that Percy was the type of person she needed in her life, because we can already see what he offers her in the books. So why oh why did you feel the need to give us the silly “tap into your humanity” arc? Why did you turn her personality into something that it wasn’t? Why did you take away her depth just so her character could better serve Percabeth?
I don’t even necessarily agree with the criticism that this version of Annabeth feels like it prioritizes Percabeth more, but I can see why people made that complaint. Y’all took away so much of what made this character endearing, because you felt like it was a much bigger priority to have Percy help her unlock humanity than to let her be human prior to meeting him and outside of him. Not only does her personality get shafted, but her relationships with other people get shafted too! Her interactions with Luke are affection-less, she sent Grover off on his own in the Lotus so she could go off with Percy, and I don’t even think that she and Chiron interacted once this season; I don’t even think she mentioned the part about her calling him to come pick her up after she attempted living at home again!
But don’t worry; we’ll get plenty of scenes doubling down and tripling down on how Percy is the center of her world now! Yay!
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chanandlersstuff · 2 years ago
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Bubble and Moose.
Pairing: Hayden Christensen x Reader.
Summary: The timeline of how Hayden gradually fell in love with her until he was madly in love, to the point of no returning.
Word count: 8.124
Warnings: Not much actually, age-gap and a slow burn. If you squint, there's a "steamy" part.
Author’s note: Hello again, thanks for the paitence. My life has been a little ecthic lately and I'm sorry this took this long. There's still a second part to this part and a final part. With that being said, hope you like it and have a nice day.
gif credit @hayden-christensen
← Previous part // Next Part →
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May 2020, definitely not a coworker's relationship.
After their birthday gifts were exchanged an invisible barrier seemed to be taken down, they started to talk more frequently, it didn’t matter who called who, the other answered right away. 
In the beginning, it started with her brainstorming with him about Anakin’s journey to Darth Vader because according to her, who better to tell me what seemed right than the guy you portrayed him?, but he certainly didn’t mind if he got to listen to her rambling sweet voice asking and answering herself in seconds. In the process, they leant a little in their favourite episodes of The Clone Wars Series and it was funny seeing two grown-ups discussing over Facetime a child series but they had fun and spent days. 
At some point, the brainstorming stepped into the background and movies, plays, books, series, and all kinds of things started to be recommended. His favourite moments of those facetimes were when she got passionate about what she would have done in the movies they saw, when she did all that technical talk and her face lit up, started gesticulating more and talked quickly, sometimes too quickly for his fascinated-by-her brain to comprehend. Fascinated in professional terms, not at all in the sentimental.
If someone had been looking at him while he looked at her, they could have witnessed the soft smile on his lips, how slowly he blinked and how attentive he listened to every word that left her mouth as if she was telling him the answer to cure world hunger. 
But it was just the two of them talking for hours by a phone screen, while in reality, they were dying to be next to the other on the sofa talking face to face, close enough to touch but without really doing it for fear of being too much.
It was a normal day, which meant that their breakfast routine remained but with the little twist of being in quarantine. Her phone was resting on something and he, from his sofa with the cup she gifted him in hand, had a clear view of her moving around her kitchen making coffee and pancakes. It was intimate, so intimate that it overwhelmed him a little but at the same time made him happy. 
“How’s Canada?” She was mixing her ingredients.
It took him a few seconds to answer, too distracted by the flour in her cheek and the need to pass the screen to wipe it himself. “I wouldn’t know,” He took a sip of his tea “I'm not there.”
She looked at him frowning, and the mixing stopped. “What? I thought you were quarantined in your house.” He shook his head. “If I didn’t know you, I would think that you were one of those people acting as if all this mess is a sick joke.”
He laughed at her irritated face. How can I take that face seriously when it’s too damn cute and, on top of it, has flour on it? “I would never, you know that.”
“I know, that’s why I said If I didn’t know you.” Add ‘duh’ to the phrase and she was calling him dumb. “Are you paying attention to me, Starboy?” She asked with her hand on her waist, like a mom when she was mad at something.
Yes, I can only focus on you when you are present and even when you are not, you are the only thing I can think about. “Yes, Little Miss, so drop that tone.” He was about to take a sip of tea but smiled, and giggled when he saw her rolling his eyes at him. “Don’t do that either.” And just to infuriate him, she rolled them more exaggeratedly. It’s too early in the morning to go to that place, Hayden, so don’t do it. Plus you would not be able to come back. Keep it professional. Quickly, he changed the subject. “I'm here in LA.”
The bowl almost fell from her hands and her mouth was opened in surprise. “You’ve been here this whole time?”
He nodded. “Yeah, Bri and her mom live here so I’m staying here to be with her and not see her over a screen. It’s tedious.” It’s tedious seeing you over a screen too, but it would be more tedious to not see you at all.
“Yeah, tell me about it.” She nodded while pouring the mix into the pan. “But that’s sweet of you. You are a great dad, Hayden.” It came to his notice that she said his name only in important/serious matters and when she wanted him to know she was telling the truth.
And oh how he loved it when his name rolled out her lips, how he would like to hear it in the most unprofessional, not pg-13, scenarios and tones. Drop it, Hayden.
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Mid May 2020, clearing doubts and new beginnings.
He was alone in his house, Briar was with her mom and although he tried to read, watch a series and even designed something for his patio, nothing could take his mind out of her. She plagued his mind more frequently at that point and the last time they Facetimed was a couple of days ago.
Fuck it. He was calling her. Her contact name was ‘Little Miss’ staring back at him, no picture. It rang for a few and when he was about to hang up her face came up. 
She was looking at the side, her profile in clear view. Airpods, messy hair falling into her face, eyebrows frowned, mouth a little agape and his eyes got lost in how she licked her lips before talking. What would they taste like? Was she talking to him? Was she talking with someone else? Was he interrupting? Was she with someone else? 
“Hey.” Her tone was cheerful. “How are you?”
“Good, good.” He nodded, still with his eyes locked on her lips. “You?” She was looking at something away from her phone, making funny faces. “I called at a bad time? I can call you later.”
This time she looked at him with a tiny smile on her lips. “Not that your calls bother me at any time,” he smiled at her words. “but can I call you in twenty?”
With the smile you are giving me, how can I ever deny you? “Yeah, of course. Take your time.” He nodded with a smile on his lips
“Thank you, I’ll call you right back.” She blew him a kiss and hung up before he could even react.
Was that a kiss or I’m hallucinating? Her lips looked more beautiful than normal or it was just that I hadn’t seen her in person for such a long time? He went to the kitchen to get something to drink and watch the sky to clear his mind because all that he thought about were those lips.
Time seemed to fly while he admired the sky, from the outside, but in reality, he was comparing the feeling of her lips to the sensation of touching clouds. Both foreign to and, yet, Hayden could bet all the money in his bank account that they were soft, heavenly-like, addictive and like nothing he had ever experienced in all his years of living. Not very professional of you, Hayden, thinking about your coworker’s lips.
The sound of his phone ringing brought him back to the real world and with a smile he answered. “Hello.” 
“Hi.” Her hair was still messy but with no frown. He tried to not look at her lips to be able to focus on her. “Sorry about earlier.”
An apologetic smile appeared on her lips but he shook his head. “Not at all, you were occupied?”
“Yeah,” she lifted her shoulders in a nonchalant gesture, “the kids arrived like two seconds before you called so they were all over the place.” While she was moving around the place, he caught a few glimpses here and there about her house.
“Kids?” He had one eyebrow raised and his head tilted to the side. 
“Yeah.” A smile appeared on her lips. “Not mine but something like that.” Okay, that confused him as hell and she seemed to notice it. “My niece and nephew.” 
He nodded remembering. “I’m sorry, I assume you had kids and-
He was quick to apologise but it was her turn to shake her head. Laughing. “It’s okay, Hayden.” Hearing his name coming from her lips made him smile widely. “I talk about them as if they were mine, so the confusion is expected.”
He looked unsure but she smiled at him. “So they stay with you?” She was looking up from the screen from time to time.
“Yeah, my sister and brother-in-law are doctors,” he listened attentively to her words, cheering for her trust in him “So, the kids stay with me to be safe.” and nodded. “Besides I’m the fun cool single aunt with a big house that lets them get a little wild from time to time.” She laughed at her own words.
And he did too, tilting his head back. His Adam's apple was bobbing up and down in full display for her to see. When he looked back at her, he caught her just in time licking her lips and her eyes a little lost. What’s she looking at? Lost something? Her cheeks have always been that red or has it happened now? The thoughts started clouding him so he cleared his throat and her eyes travelled back to his. “It’s nice that you are taking care of them.”
“Huh?” He smirked, she giggled and he did too. The laughter of one made the other laugh harder as if they were little kids again. Five minutes passed before it died down and it wasn’t even that funny. “Oh God.” She cleared a tear from the corner of her eyes, while he chuckled. “What did you say?”
He snorted, shaking his head. “That is nice what you are doing.”
She smiled at his words. “They are the closest I have to my own kids, it’s not like I’m adopting orphans or donating piles of money to the health of my country.” In the last part, she gave him a knowing look and before he could say something she kept talking. “It’s the least I can do while their parents are saving people and risking their lives.” He nodded understandingly.
They kept talking for a little while until she had to hang up, but this time there was no kiss blown in his direction. Which made him a little sad, if he was honest. Why would you? You two are nothing except coworkers.
A few weeks passed when they didn’t Facetime as much as before because he didn’t want to interrupt her time with the kids, he knew how handful one kid was, let alone two. Plus he was trying to keep his emotions at bay, they were starting to get wild and he couldn't let that happen. But, they texted frequently, small things here and there to stay in touch, although he preferred a thousand times more seeing her face. A little contradictory, don’t you think Hayden?
He and Briar were cooking together, more like the little girl was sitting on the island while he did all the work when Facetime came in. "How hard can it be to build a kid's playground?" Her desperate voice reached his ears, making him laugh.
"Hello to you too." He teased her.
"Hi." It came all muffled by the groan that left her lips. 
His eyes found Briar's, who was giggling, and he did it too. "Now, tell me. What are you building?"
She exhaled loudly while he kept making lunch. "I bought a small kind of playground or something like that." He nodded, a little confused. "Thinking it couldn't be that hard to put together and surprise! IT IS." The pair, father and daughter, laughed again. She lifted her head from the papers in her hands for the first time and looked at him with a frown on her forehead. "Am I interrupting something?" 
He shook his head and Briar, with the curious nature of a five-year-old, moved her head to see his phone. "Hello." 
"Oh hi!" She looked surprised but with a smile on her face.
"I'm Briar Rose, and you?" The little girl introduced herself and she did too, still with a smile on her lips and a cheerful tone. "Where are you friends with my daddy?" She asked innocently. "Briar Rose!" Hayden said in his dad's tone.
But she laughed, a genuine laugh. Not like the ones he heard her give when she was nervous or uncomfortable, so he relaxed. "From work, we are working together." See?! COWORKERS! She said it herself.
The little girl nodded. "Bri, you helped me choose a present for her a few months ago, remember?" She seemed to think about it and then nodded.
"Oh, you helped him?" Briar nodded eagerly and she smiled. "I loved the flowers, they were so pretty. Thank you." She bowed her head and the little girl blushed a little.
He couldn't see her face directly, because Bri's head was in the way while she got comfortable in front of the phone, making him smile. "Really?" 
"Yeah." Just by her tone, he could see her, in his brain, smiling. "I put them on a desk in the centre of my office so everyone could see them." Those little blue eyes opened wide in surprise "Every person that entered my office that day, loved them. You picked right." and a big happy smile appeared on her face.
Hayden saw how closely Briar was looking at her, how she tilted her head to the side from time to time while they talked. "Why are you building a playground?" He looked at them from the corner of his eyes.
"My niece and nephew, Brianna and Daniel, are 6 and staying still is not their thing." He laughed, picturing himself as a little boy and understood what she was saying. "The other day they told me they missed the park."
"I missed it too, but Daddy has a swing on the patio for me," Briar told her and she opened her eyes in surprise, following along. "So I don't miss it that much."
"Well, I had a similar thinking to your Daddy's" What? Come again? "and since I cannot watch them being sad, I bought a small playground for our patio." The little girl nodded.
"In a cool, fun aunt way." He added. 
"Exactly." She laughed and the little girl did it too. "Besides, I don't want Daniel jumping out the balcony ‘cause he's bored out of his mind.” He raised his eyebrows. “I swear to you, that kid is wild.”
They laughed, the three of them. "So you bought a playground for them?" Hayden asked in disbelief.
"Kind of?" She sounded unsure and Briar laughed.
He looked at the two of them with a smile on his lips. "Do you even have the tools to set it up?"
They looked at each other and she had that irritated face that he found so cute, so endearing. A big smile appeared on his lips, unwittingly, naturally. "I'm not silly, I bought everything at once."
"Of course you did." He said under his breath found it funny. You and your like for order.  
She nodded, putting a wild strand of hair behind her ear. "In my defence," she held her finger up and he raised an eyebrow, ready to hear her excuse "It seemed like a great idea." She sounded so sure, so convinced.
"How?!" He was frowning, his deep tone a little higher than normal.
She got comfortable behind the screen and they did too, their lunch almost ready. "I ordered it the next day they told me that, and with the protocols and everything, it arrived a day after they left, which is today." They nodded. "I thought of building it myself so when they came back, in like a week give or take, they would be surprised." 
"That's nice," Briar said.
"I know. Thank you, Briar." She winked at the little girl and she tried to mimic but failed, making the two adults laugh. "But I didn't think it was that hard to build it!”
The little girl giggled, making her father, and her, laugh. “It didn't come with instructions?” 
“Yes.” She shook the papers in her hand for him to see. “and I saw a few YouTube tutorials but it's not as easy as it seems.” They laughed again. “So I was this close” she put her pointer finger and thumb a little close to measuring “to a mental breakdown when a lightbulb went on in my head so I said ‘Hey, I have a friend” Friend?! That’s an improvement from coworkers. “who's really into design and architecture and has a beautiful daughter” she winked at Briar, making her giggle “so he would know how to help me’ and that’s how we are here.” She finished with a big smile on her lips and batted her eyelashes as if that was necessary for him to help her.
The little girl looked at him with a smile, fully engrossed with all that was happening. “What do you say, Bri, should we help her?” He looked around, thinking, tapping his chin with his finger, acting as if he was weighing his options, but his beloved daughter tugged his shirt, impatient. “Yeah, daddy, help her.” Hayden looked at her, at that smile on her lips, then at Briar who was mimicking the face she had moments ago. “Okay, we will help her.”
They both celebrated, even high-five through the screen, and he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his lips, the warm feeling that ran through his body and the hope. Hope? Hope of what? Keep it professional Hayden. 
After she sent them photos of the instructions, at his request, they had lunch, over Facetime, while he looked at everything from his tablet and they, Briar Rose and she, chatted. Scratch that, Bri did all the talking while she listened closely. 
She told her about her classes, about his dad’s farm and all the animals, asked about her niece and nephew, and all kinds of topics they did. All that, while Hayden half listened to them, looked at them interact with a smile on his lips, and half daydreamed, but never once reading at the papers in his tablet, always acting as if he was. 
Stop it, Hayden, you are working together. You already went down that road and the only good thing that came out of it’s Briar, so don’t even think about it.
"Isn't that right, daddy?" Briar was looking at him but he frowned, a little lost. “She looks like Bubble.”
“As in The Powerpuff Girls?” But the little girl shook his head.
The brunette was thinking of any recent character his daughter saw that could resemble her. She was wearing a green flannel shirt, too big for her, that matched her skin tone, her hair held up messily, making it seem like she had a pixie cut and lighter, by the light that was hitting on it, and glasses, he noticed she was wearing them more frequently. I like how they look at you. Really? Not very professional of you.
“Bubble like the fairies movies, Daddy. The one we watched the other day, remember?” He was really trying to remember what movie she was talking about because they watched too many. 
But she seemed to realise what she was talking about. “Tinkerbell?” Briar nodded eagerly.
“The one with big glasses, wearing green, that's always building something and it's funny." She explained. "Bubble!"
If he remembered correctly it was a male fairy and his name wasn't Bubble. "Oh, the one that was in love with Tinkerbell?" Briar nodded again. "Bobble.”
"Bubble." The little girl corrected, but even though it was wrong, she nodded.
Haydey found it extremely cute, and funny, the resemblance his daughter found in her. A little magical, mythical, figure a little bit clumsy, extremely passionate about his work and art. Briar Rose wasn't that far from reality, they were similar but at the same time, she was like no one he ever knew. 
"Bubble." He tasted it on his tongue and it suited her just fine. 
She laughed, shaking her head "I'll take it" and arranged her glasses. "But, if I'm Bubble, you, my friend" Again with it. she pointed at him "Are going to be Moose." A smug smile appeared on her lips, his little girl laughed and he did too, amazed at the name.
"Moose?" He asked in disbelief.
She nodded. "You are Canadian and tall as a door. It suits you just fine."
"Fair enough, Bubble." She smiled, proud, with her chin held high. "And me?" Briar asked, not wanting to be left out, looking at both of them.
"Can I?" She mouthed, her eyes connected with his, asking for permission, and he nodded. "What you say about 'Princess'?”
Hayden knew she would love it. "Yes! I love it!" The little girl danced in her seat. They looked at each other, she was frowning but he gave her a smile, to reassure her it was alright and she nodded.
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June 2020, planning dates and weird texts.
Saying their relationship was becoming something more was an understatement and that put him in a tough spot. They were more than coworkers, that much was for sure. They were friends? Probably on her part, but Hyaden had feelings he felt he should not have. Feelings? I know nothing about that. That’s very unprofessional. Feelings he would not speak about. Feelings he would deny and bury deep inside him because it was unprofessional. So, the only rational reaction he came up with was to distance himself a little, but not too much. They still talked over text and Facetime, but the last ones were from time to time, weeks in between them, not as often as they used to. 
He and Briar were watching some movie, comfortably lying on the sofa, his little girl with her feet on his lap really engrossed in the movie ‘Anastasia’. A recommendation the little girl got as soon as ‘Bubble, what movie should we watch now?’ left her lips. When she found out that her daddy’s friend made movies, she was over the moon, asking for movie recommendations left and right, almost like Hayden did on one of their facetime at the beginning. 
This was one of those times when they were texting about God knows what. Sometimes they had separate conversations while texting each other like they were having their own monologues on the same chat. 
I've never understood why people in movies used to send boxes with people inside as a gift
He frowned at the text, tilting his head to the side. 
Huh?
WHAT’S IN THE BOX?! Type or what?
The three dots appeared and seconds later the response came. 
Not that gore
But you know, like when someone jumps out of a cake
Like a surprise 
His frown deepened.
What movie are you watching?
Singing in the rain
A smile appeared on his lips. 
You have something for musicals, don’t you?
Shut up, Moose
He couldn't contain his laugh and Briar shushed him. “I’m watching the movie, daddy.” The little girl complained. 
“Sorry, sweetie.” He smiled at her, not that she paid attention to him, and looked back to his phone. 
You definitely have something with them, because I’m watching Anastasia and that’s on you
It’s a great movie, Bri is going to love it
He nodded, watching how invested his little girl was with the movie. 
She already does
And you are not even trying to deny the musical part
They are my guilty pleasure, shut up
He chuckled, tilting his head back. Who would have thought? 
So……
People jumping out of boxes/cakes are not your thing I gather
Of course not, like that's scary as hell. 
He laughed, again. 
Don't laugh
A frown emerged on his face, a little surprised.
How did you know I was laughing? 
‘Cause I know you
Those words made him smile, proud of such thing.
And people laugh when I tell them about my unusual fear
For some reason, it didn’t seem right to him that someone laughs at her fears, no matter how small or foolish they seemed. 
I promise not to laugh
Tell me about it
It was true, he wanted to know about it. About her. 
Why would someone do something like that? 
Why would someone want the birthday person to have a heart attack for the scare?
Don’t you think that’s a little dramatic?
No, it’s common sense
Sure, Bubble, whatever let you sleep at night
Certainly not that idea 
Call me when that happens, we will take care of it together
The together part put a smile on his lips. In a friendly context, nothing more.
I will
To put your mind at ease, I promise to never send you those kind of things 
Thank u
He could see her with a smile on her lips, that kind, sweet, smile so characteristic of her. 
A couple of days later they were Facetiming, he called because he missed her voice but he was trying to mentally keep his distance. It was like a battle was being held inside him. I miss your voice, but saying it out loud may be too much. It may change everything and I don’t want that. I’m not prepared for that.
“Are you okay?” Her voice brought him back to reality.
The brunette nodded “Yeah, why?” with a frown on his forehead.
She shrugged, pursing her lips. “I don’t know, I-” She seemed to think about her next words and he raised his eyebrows, curious about them. “It’s gonna sound lame, but I feel like we don’t talk as much as we did before.”
The sadness Hayden saw in her eyes, even through his screen, made him heartache, but he knew she was right. That wasn’t what I wanted. No, don’t look at me like that. Please. “Yeah, sorry about that.” He was quick to apologise but she shook her head. “I have lots of things in my mind.”
“Hey, I didn’t say that to make you feel bad. It wasn’t at all my intention.” His eyes could see her manicured hand on her chest and a little frown on her eyebrows. “I meant it as, I know this whole staying-at-home thing is taking a toll on people and their mental health, so if you want to talk about it, or don’t, just know I’m here, Hayden.” The sincerity in her tone took him aback, but it shouldn’t have. 
One time, he made a fleeting comment about his mental health after finishing Star Wars in 2005, trying to make his advice more clear for her. Hayden didn’t think that she would remember it, but it seemed he was mistaken. She remembered everything that came out of his mouth. The donations to Canada, his love for architecture, an embarrassing story about his childhood, his birthday, every little detail. So why wouldn’t she remember that little comment? 
The sudden trainwreck of emotions inside him almost made him choke. “Thank you, Bubble.” There wasn’t a need for words, his eyes told her everything with how shiny they were and the smile on his lips was so soft, so sweet.
A sincere smile appeared on her lips, but she shrugged again. Taking a little off the emotion and seriousness of the moment before it became too much. “You would do the same for me.”
“Of course.” He said not missing a beat.
“So you don’t need to thank me.” She winked at him and that simple gesture made him feel lighter.
They stayed like that, talking for hours, making up for the lost time, enjoying seeing the other faces and hearing their voices. He moved from his studio to the kitchen, ready to start dinner for one, while she was still seated in her patio with her book on the same page she was when he called. 
As she watched him move around his large kitchen, she couldn't help but become entranced by his movements. The allure of his every gesture left her feeling a little lost in the moment. “What are you cooking?”
He scratched the tip of his nose with the back of his hand. “Pizza.” She giggled when she saw that the tip of his nose was full of flour. “What are you laughing at?”
“You look cute with your nose full of flour.” She said in between laughs. 
He rolled his eyes but blushed at the compliment. "Well I can't clean it right now so, focus on something else other than my handsome face." He teased her.
"It's going to be a very hard task focusing on something else." She followed his lead. "Your beauty is very distracting." Was she teasing me back? Or was she telling the truth?
"Haha, very funny, Bubble." He kept his face down, looking at what he was doing for her to not notice the blush that started creeping to his cheeks.
"I'm hilarious, I know." She moved her hair back, with a smug face. And he laughed but rolled his eyes. "Back to the pizza."
"Yeah, back to the pizza."
"You pick a few skills from Little Italy, I see." She got closer to the screen to watch what he was doing.
"First of all," he raised a finger full of flour "I was a very good pizza aficionado before the movie-"
"Show-off" She faked a cough.
He rolled his eyes again, trying not to laugh. "But, yes. I picked a few things up." He mixed the sauce.
"I wouldn't know, I have never tasted it." She had a tiny smile on her lips and her eyes had a particular shine. Or maybe it's the light from my house playing tricks with me.
"Maybe when all this pandemic is over, I can cook for you." He said looking at her, what he was doing was long forgotten, his attention solemnly on her.
The smile on her lips was breathtaking mixed with the warm light of the sun on her patio made the image burn in his brain. "I will like that very much." 
His heart was beating furiously inside his chest. "It's a date then? I'm having a heart attack, surely. There's no other explanation.
She nodded, with a tiny blush on her cheeks. "It's a date." A bright smile, teeth and all.
Well, so much for keeping it professional Hayden.
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July 2020, seeing you shine. 
The night was darker than normal and more humid than usual in July. Not a sound could be heard in his house, besides the one caused by the weather. The hot summer weather was starting to bother him a little so the storm that was rising outside made him happy.
Miss Bubble
You up?
Confused as hell, he looked at the hour. What was she doing up at three in the morning? Was she alright? Something happened to her? Was she in danger? All the possible bad scenarios were occurring in his head, so he called her. 
Pick up, Bubble, pick up. Not long passed before she answered him. 
“Are you alright?” Those were the first words that left his mouth when her face came into view. 
She nodded “Yeah, you?” confused.
The brunette frowned. “Yeah. Something happened?”
“No. Why?”
“Cause you texted me at three in the morning and I thought that something had happened to you, so I got scared.” He explained. 
She closed her eyes and scrunched her nose. “Sorry about that, I truly didn’t mean to.” An apologetic smile appeared on her lips. “I appreciate you worrying about me, it’s really sweet.”
“Are you okay?” His heart was still beating furiously. 
“A little guilty but 100% fine.” She gave him a tight smile. Hearing she was right relaxed him, all the muscles in his body loosened. “Did I wake you up?”
“Nono, I was already up.” He was sitting comfortably on the couch, his feet on the little table there and resting his phone on the thigh, cigarette in the other hand. “Why are you in the dark, though?” He squinted his eyes to look at her better.
The sound of her sitting comfortably could be heard. “I love thunderstorms and being in the dark makes them more beautiful.” You are beautiful, even in the dark. “What about you?”
He smiled at her “I'm enjoying the peaceful silence and the sound of the rain.” and took a drag of his cigarette.
“I can call you back some other time, at a decent hour.” She quickly said. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
She could see him shaking his head, thanks to the warm light that was illuminating his face. “No, no. It's okay.” He reassured her with a smile. “We can enjoy this together.” Again with the ‘together’. “you, your thunderstorm and me, my silence.”
A massive thunder illuminated the sky and he saw the big smile on those lips. “I would love that.” She was smiling because of me or because of the thunder?
“Great.” He smiled, getting comfortable.
Who knows how long it passed where his gaze took turns looking at her and then at the water falling against his big window. Her doe eyes were looking in the distance, her lips curving in a smile every time a thunder made everything tremble. The light it provided made her, in his eyes, illuminated, and shine. A few times their eyes connected and a tiny smile appeared on her lips. 
Unknowing to him, she looked at him every time she felt his eyes move from the screen. Fascinated by how the cigarette smoke danced around him with the warm light that was reflecting on his face and making his hair look golden-like and his eyes had a particular shine. The artistic part of her wanted to be there, on her knees in front of him, in the angle she was from her phone, with her precious video camera in hand recording every second of him smoking that damn cigarette. 
It dangled over his large fingers, but it never quite felt, on the way to his lips. Oh, those lips. They wrapped around the filter part and he hollowed his cheeks, making his bone structure more prominent. How would it feel to trace his face with the tip of my fingers? Maybe, just maybe, to finish off killing her, he exhaled the smoke through his nose tilting his head back. How can he make something so deadly as smoking, so hot, so alluring? Her eyes traced his neck, the veins there. Where is his weak spot? Can I find it with my lips? 
Hayden felt her stare on him, how she was tilting her head from side to side the whole time he took a drag, slowly, just to tease her. When he moved his head, just a little bit to see her, he felt as if his heart stopped beating normally and started a fucking race. Her cheeks were flushed, even in the dark he could see it. Her lower lip was caged by her teeth and the need to free it made his hands itch. When he finally reached her eyes, oh those eyes, pupils dark and intense, lost in him, lost in desire.
If her eyes were dark, the blue in his was long gone too but that didn’t stop him from looking her up and down. The grip she had on the blanket around her was so tight that her knuckles were losing colour. The fine strip of her pyjama top was falling from her shoulder, leaving him free access for his eyes to trace the journey from her clavicle, to her neck to the jaw. He gulped at such a display of skin, feeling like a horny thirteen-year-old, Will I ever have the privilege to feel her skin with my lips?, like he travelled back in time and was one of those men that get horny by a glimpse of an ankle.
Their eyes finally met and it was like someone left hell and heaven gates opened. They were on Facetime but the tension, the burning sensation, around them was real. They both felt it. But at the same time, they were sure that giving in would be like touching the sky. It would be a sin I would be glad to commit.
Hayden said her name in a low and husky tone. His tone is going to be the death of me.
"Hayden," she replied, trying to keep her own voice steady, but failing miserably. Whisper my name in my ear with your soft tone. Shout it at the top of your lungs too. 
That simple gesture of saying the other’s name made the tension grow stronger. Their hearts were racing, they were heavily breathing.
He leant closer, and brought her closer, more like his phone screen, to say something. What are you going to say, Hayden? That you want to cross the line so far with her so damn much it would look like a fucking dot if you look back? That you know it’s unprofessional the feelings you have for her? That those eleven years between you two are going to be the death of you? 
She swallowed hard, ready for whatever he was going to say. Are you ready to admit that you have been dying to kiss him, tangling your fingers in his hair, since the first day you saw him? Are you going to tell him that only by looking at you he makes you weak on the knees and that you have to mentally restrain yourself to not giggle and twirl your hair?
There was only one thing that was running around in their minds. Not physical, because there were plenty of those in their heads. God, I wish you were here with me, I wish I had you right here in front of me so I could kiss you. Show you all the things I feel for you but that I’m too cowardly to tell. 
A very loud thunder broke the bubble they were wrapped in and brought them back from the tunnel they were getting themselves into. He cleared his throat and looked at the ceiling of his house, taking a deep breath, while she arranged her hair and sat straight. “Look at the time.” What, Hayden? Are you an idiot?
“Yeah, it’s-” She cleared her throat too because her voice sounded breathless “It’s getting late.”
The brunette nodded, agreeing with her. “Yeah, yeah.” Truth be told, it was like five-thirty in the morning. 
The two fools bid goodbye, saying that they would be heading to bed and that they would call some other time. But instead, they stayed sitting in their respective houses. Going over and over again what happened. How they almost gave in in the heat of the moment.
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September 2020, you never cease to amaze me.
If the sweet moments were too much before, the sexual tension of that July night was something that went out of their hands. 
Since that call, Hayden’s brain has been playing tricks with him almost every night. Dreaming all sorts of things with her, it was divided between the nastiest of them and the most domestic too. Railing her watching the Eiffel Tower, leaving love bites all over the visible, just for him, parts of her body and then taking a walk on the French streets hand in hand, or having coffee in the morning and cleaning the foam off the tip of her nose and then kissing it.
Dreaming of her never failed to leave him wishing for more, praying for more. After a very vivid, specific, hot dream where he wasn’t going to be able to look her in the eyes for a good couple of days, he had to put space between them. So the facetimes were a big no because the dream kept repeating in the back of his mind, every day, and looking her in the eye would make a mess of him.
But now, after nearly two months, he was more than happy to look at her beautiful face. Eager even. Why? Curiosity got the best of him and he had googled her, just to see her work and ended up watching a movie of hers. To say he was fascinated, and amazed was understandable. Hayden always knew she was incredible, but the way he ended up at the edge of his seat, wanting more of her art, was something that didn’t happen every time he watched a movie. 
 She answered right away, her glasses on the bright of her nose. “Hi.” 
“You…you…” she looked at him, raising an eyebrow, “you are a work of art.” Coming up strong I see. The truth in his voice, in his eyes, came from his heart.
Slowly, a smile appeared on her lips “What?” and a little laugh escaped them.
“I just watched one of your movies and…and…” she looked like a deer caught in headlights “and it’s amazing.” A smile adorned his lips. “You are amazing.” 
She dropped what she was doing and looked directly at him. “You really think that?” 
“Of course.” Sincerity laced in his tone. “I think that since I met you, sorry if I never told you, Bubble.” The way she looked down, hiding her cute smile, made his hands itch to lift her chin to be able to see it in person.
“A little reminder from time to time, wouldn’t harm you know.” She joked, making him laugh.
“Sure, I’ll remind it to you.” He winked. “But not all the time, we wouldn’t want you to be a show-off.” It was her turn to laugh about it. Her sweet laugh was music to his ears.
Hayden turned into a fan of hers, bombarding her with questions left and right about what inspired her, why things were how they were in the movie and every little detail about it. And she happily answered it, giving him her complete attention.
The title ‘Little Miss Director’ was too small for her, actually, it didn’t fit her at all. In his eyes, and surely in the eyes of everyone who met her, she was a great director, a splendid artist worthy of awards. It didn’t matter that she was young. The brunette was eager to see her in her element, in the field guiding the team so that the vision she had for the script, which she was putting sweat and tears into making, would come true.
“Ewan’s words did not make you justice, nor to your work.” 
She frowned. “What did he say?”
“Basically, that you were amazing.” She giggled, nervously, blush creeping to her cheeks. “But nothing more, I tried to pry details away but he didn’t slip, not even once.” He joked and a true laugh escaped her lips. A proud smile plastered on his face by the fact of being able to make her laugh.
She nodded. “At this point, I think he’s as proud of me as my dad.” They laughed.
“He is!” The brunette reassured her. “Crazy proud.” 
“I adored him.” She confessed and he nodded, feeling the same for the Scottish.
You adore me too?  “And he always said that you are a well-deserved award winner.”
She opened her eyes big, “Yes, I have a few.” and mumbled.
At that point, he was comfortably seated on his sofa, hand supporting his head and his attention fully on her. “I know.” She raised her eyebrows, surprised. “I may or may not have googled you.” He admitted hiding his face, a little ashamed. Perfect, now she would think I'm some creep stalking her. But her sweet laugh reached his ears.
“Please tell me how unflattering the pictures are?” She asked, still laughing. “I’ve never googled myself.”
He shook his head. “There’s no pictures of you.” She frowned. “Which I found odd for someone who has three Spirit Awards under her belt, one feature film nominated in Cannes and one Caméra d’Or.” He had a proud smile on his lips and she blushed but with a smile so big it closed her eyes. “Absolutely amazing.” He clapped at her and she blushed harder. “I’m crazy proud of you too.” While I’m at it, why don’t I tell her that I have a 13-year-old boy crush on her? Make myself 100% embarrassed.
Maybe it was the lighting in her house, maybe it was his imagination, but Hayden could swear she had tears in her eyes. “Thank you, Hayden.” The brunette nodded. 
They talked a little more about the awards and the technical aspects of the movies she made. “One thing I still don’t understand is” she raised an eyebrow, curiously “How a face like yours isn’t plastered all over the place?”
“Is that a compliment?” Her head tilted to the side. 
“Of course it is,” he said, nodding. “You are absolutely beautiful.” Subtlety is not my thing, clearly.
It was like he was trying to see how many times he could make her blush in a single conversation. Because those words made her red like a tomato, to the point she could feel how warm her cheeks were. “Thank you.” And he bowed his head again, happy to compliment her. “The photo thing is because I try to blend in as much as possible,” he frowned, “which is easy, when what all the people are most interested in is taking photos of the young models and big actresses there.”
He tried to rack his brain thinking of what young models or actresses had that she hadn't. And the answer was nothing. She was beautiful, like a breath of fresh air, fashionable and had a smile that could light up any room. But behind everything physical, she was funny, artistic and intelligent like no other. Hayden was pretty sure his words came up short if he tried to describe her. 
“Besides,” her voice brought him back, “I wanted to be taken seriously at that time for future works, so if there wasn’t a picture of me it was better.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t want to be judged by my age, which people tend to do.” She pursed her lips. “No one would hire me to do a movie if they found out I was that young when I started. Not that the no pictures stopped them, because when they saw me in person a few backed down from the offer, but I fought tooth and nail for my art, my work.”
The scene in the first reading table came to his mind. “You still do.” She nodded. “That’s why you ran after standing your ground in the incident with the writer that time?”
She nodded. “He was rude as hell, not the first time that a male writer was rude to me, but the condescending way he said it boiled my blood.” She remembered, shaking her head. “I had to get away from that room before I lost my mind.” That was why he hadn’t found her when he looked for her. “But, back on topic, I like having a low profile”
He nodded, “Yeah that’s a feeling I can resemble.” She raised her eyebrows for a few seconds. “I like my private life.”
“I totally agree, like I will not make my life a circus for all the media to pick apart.” They were both nodding eagerly, happy to be thinking the same thing. “I mean, I'll pose if it's strictly necessary, otherwise I'll avoid it like the plague.” She said laughing.
He tilted his head to the side, frowning. “What you mean?”
She shrugged. “All the flashes and screams, being the centre of attention, the madness, I don't know, it gives me anxiety.” He knew what she was talking about. “And I like being behind the camera, I’m much more comfortable there.”
It was a little criminal to him that something as beautiful as she liked to be hidden from the lenses, away from the world to witness, but a tiny part of him, the selfish part, loved being one of the few who really knew her, or was starting to do. 
At that point, the list of things Hayden noticed about her turned into a notepad. The things he kept learning about her day after day, text after text, facetime after Facetime, meant a lot to him. The trust she had in him made him feel special.
Next Part →
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TAGLIST: @frommywindow27 // @lillianacristina // @shyartisanvoidwagon // @watersquirtpewpewboomm // @yomommaandyogranny // @shqwqrma // @florence-vikander // @bryjohn98 // @its-sappho-biotch // @mysardencut // @fan-goddess // @weallhaveadestiny // @hueanhdang // @ittybitty-rt // @fromasgardandback // @mmb-09 // @elisamoons // @harryisacuties // @little-diable // @angie2274
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aerequets · 3 months ago
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Ur art is such an inspiration and motivation for me, as a fellow artist. I’ve been following ur stuff for a bit now and I was wondering how you decided to draw loid, yor, and anya the way you do. I say this bc I really want to start making my own fan arts, but i struggle to take this anime style and have these character read as [insert character] without it being in a “anime style.”
And I guess this applies to any character you want take from a media, and translate it into your style. Bc i don’t necessarily think ur art style is considered “anime” i kinda just see it as an abstraction ig. But even if it is, it isn’t in the style of anime show is yk? Yet the characters read as who they’re supposed to be.
And I think a while back you u mentioned that you were struggling on decided how to draw loid. ig i wanna know How did you come to the decision that “yes, this looks correct and I wanna draw him like this.”
Is it finding defining feature and proportions? Just messing around until you figure something out? And I assume you make a character sheet to keep it consistent?
Like i literally go to art school but cant draw anything without a reference photo and it killing me 😔💀💀
Sorry for the yapp i’m just down bad rn and really love ur work. Please help be get out of the reference photo trap😭
Also sorry if this reads weird and has errors i’m sleep deprived and can’t bring myself to go back and reread
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WHAIUGOUGH???? UR TOO KIND??? THANK U
i will try my best to answer below, but i dont think it is anything profound or super secret lmao
so i think that artists get really caught up with finding/establishing a style when they are first starting out. i say this because i was no different. to me it was like 'oh if i have a style then i am a Real artist instead of just a copier'
but like, i think that order is backwards. like the more that you draw things you enjoy, the more those drawings will become your own and in your 'style' if that makes sense. heavy emphasis on the quantity here. you just gotta go really at it. and the best way to do this is through sheer quantity tbh.
however at the same time, i dont really agree with the whole 'draw x things per day every day' thing cuz sometimes thats just hard man. i mean you mentioned you were in art school so you're probably drawing every day anyways, but for a hobbyist or fanartist (me lol) its mostly based on whether u feel like drawing or not. Which is why its rlly cool when you have a show/book/movie/anything you're really into which makes you want to draw more! it becomes something fun rather than a chore.
so basically, dont view a style as something you have to develop right away, or turn drawing into a chore, because that will be very counteractive trust me.
another important thing i wanted to mention, you said "reference photo trap" but ITS NOT A TRAP! USE REFERENCES!!! REFERENCES ARE IMPORTANT AND GOOD (i am assuming you already know this, but using references is not the same as tracing. just to make it clear)
this is another thing common with newer artists (and of course how i used to be), where you feel like you have to draw 'from your mind' for it to be an indicator of any skill. NOT TRUE!! you need to use references to get better!
lastly, to answer your question (as best i can lol) there was never any point when i decided 'yes this is it' when drawing. you just draw and draw and keep changing and growing. it is a little of everything you said (defining features, proportions, messing around) but it is also just drawing a lot and having fun! :D oh and i definitely do not have a character sheet. i am not anywhere near that organized LMAO
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fix-it-darlin · 3 months ago
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D.A.M.N. Crew Headcanons
Freelancer
Doodles on the back of their hands
Never really specialized in anything as a kid and had way too many hobbies. They view this as a negative thing, but the rest of the crew is delighted to hear about their many interests.
Chicken scratch handwriting that only they can read most times.
Attempted to learn shorthand to remedy this but couldn't stick to it long enough to make much of an impact on their note taking style.
Didn't like their hair for a while and so they were always wearing some kind of hat. They still wear a hat a lot, but they've started to get more comfortable with it, especially as Gavin teaches them how to style it better.
Never had a close friend group before the D.A.M.N. crew and usually spent time in groups that seemed to just tolerate them while they were in school.
Used to read voraciously, but hasn't read a full book in about a year. They can manage articles and short stories, but a full book is asking a lot.
Talks to themself a lot and has nearly filled their phone's storage with all the voice notes they make.
Gavin
Gave himself dimples
Wears lots of rings, but one from Freelancer is worn on a chain rather than his hands
Favorite movie is the Princess Bride. The D.A.M.N. crew gets together for a movie night every few weeks and this is always his first suggestion.
Learned how to knit just so he could make Freelancer a hat for their birthday. It was a messy first attempt, but Freelancer loves it all the same.
Great gift giver
Damien made him join a book club with him after figuring out that he hasn't read a book in his life. Gavin gripes about this, but he's actually delighted to have someone to read with and keep him accountable there. He's tried to bring Freelancer into it too, but recognizes that they're too busy for books at the moment.
Damien
Has a very particular taste in energy drinks and doesn't like tea very much.
Black nail polish
His mom pushed him to be good at art as a kid, and he was, could render incredibly realistic studies of nature, but he hated it. He doesn't draw much in present time, but Huxley discovered one of his old sketchbooks at one point and was seriously impressed. Damien wanted to throw out the sketchbook, but Huxley's kept it for now.
When he does draw, it's these shitty little cartoons (I'm talking stick figures and shaky lines) he uses to make Huxley laugh, and only when he's particularly inspired.
Loves to take runs at the crack of dawn just so he can catch the sunrise and the early morning dew.
Has never seen snow in person
Huxley
Loves graphic novels (read all the Bone books as a kid)
Definitely has a rock collection, knows how to skip stones
Goes to poetry open mic nights with Lasko as a way to improve his diction but also train himself to formulate his words better. Some hilarious haikus and free verse have come out of this. Huxley's favorite is the one he performed about a raccoon trying to get tickets to a concert
Is incredibly gentle with his touch as though he's afraid that he'll hurt people with his hugs.
Has dressed up as a bulbasaur for Halloween before
Passed notes with Damien during a lecture that they shared. It drove Damien nuts, but Huxley wasn't sure how else to talk to him at the time. He and Damien still leave each other sticky notes on the mirror and Huxley treasures each of them.
Lasko
Has glasses and they slip down his nose all the time
You know the trope that when people take their glasses off, all of a sudden they're super hot? Yeah, Lasko is the exact opposite way because his lenses are pretty a high prescription and make his eyes look much bigger than they actually are. Take those off and he's immediately squinting and those eyes don't look so big anymore which makes him look uncanny. He's pretty self-conscious about that.
Listens to Mitski
Can quote the entirety of The Hobbit word for word and has very strong opinions about the movies. (He saw them against his will once and has never gotten over it)
Pretty deep morning voice surprisingly enough
Started doing yoga with Dear as a way to keep loose and relax although it's debatable how much relaxing is actually going on towards the end of their sessions and how much of it is just excuses to tease and flirt with each other.
Dear
Top two buttons of their shirt are always unbuttoned, they've got quite the collection.
Loves Lasko's squint that he gets when his glasses slip too far down his nose.
Was on the swim team when they were in school and were pretty good at it (this is an understatement, they set a couple of records for their school)
Nails are always very neatly trimmed and they usually have a clear coat or white nail polish on them
Loopy, neat handwriting
Has always been called a good listener. Little does anyone know that they talk Lasko's ear off just as much as he does their's. They know an insane amount about different species of coral and sea cucumbers and have a collection of books, photos, and articles about them that they've built up over the years.
Very good at figuring out people's strengths and makes a point of complimenting them on it. They are proud to say that they've flustered Huxley with their compliments because it took them the longest time to figure out what would really hit for him.
Has a tattoo on their back
Is part of Damien's book club and always has some of the most detailed notes on the books they read. It's become a bit of a competition between the two of them to see who has the best notes. It's all in good fun though.
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susiephone · 2 years ago
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I always find it weird whenever people say "this book started off as FANFICTION!" as like... shorthand for saying the book is INHERENTLY bad.
Like, I've read a lot of shit fanfiction. I've also read some breathtaking fanfiction. The same is true of books. The "fanfic is the death of art and books are always superior" crowd always seems to forget the existence of bad books, in a similarly frustrating manner to how the "fanfic is always superior to books and I've never read a book I liked better than fanfiction" always seems to narrow their view of books they read and hated in high school, and milquetoast bestsellers.
My point is, one isn't inherently better than the other, and, to borrow a point made in the video essay "An Exhaustive Defense of Fanfiction," they're ultimately two different things and comparing them is pretty apples-and-oranges.
So whenever someone is like "oh this book was originally fanfic" my response is just, "...Okay?" in the same way it would be if someone was like, "oh thus book was originally a master's thesis." Like, cool bit of trivia but not really relevant to how I judge the final product.
If a book is a shitty book, it's because it's a shitty book, not because it was originally something else. If it wasn't properly translated into the new format, that's a fault of the writing and editing, not the original format. Like, "Cats" isn't a shitty movie because it was originally a stage musical, it's a shitty movie because the source material was not properly translated into a film. Does that make sense?
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misc-obeyme · 1 year ago
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Hi, I'd like to suggest a prompt for Kinktober, if that's okay! If you haven't picked something for Satan yet, I'd like to offer: mutual masturbation!
Maybe it's started by a spicy erotic novel they're reading together (maybe they didn't know that the sex scenes would be so explicit, or so numerous) or maybe they're watching a romance movie together in Satan or MCs bedroom, and the film is much more adult than they were anticipating?
And the tension just keeps growing until the arousal is too much to endure, and MC is crossing their legs and squirming to resist the urge to touch themself - when they notice that Satan is subtly/subconsciously palming the bulge in his pants. When Satan notices he's been caught, that's it, neither of them can take it any more.
There's something about being so turned on that you HAVE to touch yourself, even if someone else is right there. And watching each other just makes it feel even better ♡
Hi there, anon!
So I kinda combined the novel and movie situation, but this is taking place in MC's bedroom. You gave me so much detail! I tried to incorporate it all, so hopefully it turned out okay!
Thank you for submitting a prompt!
KINKTOBER 2023
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GN!MC x Satan
NSFW MDNI
Warnings: mutual masturbation
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You were sitting next to Satan on your bed, both of you situated comfortably, prepared to watch a movie.
It was an adaptation of a romance novel you had read together. It turned out to be far more explicit than either of you had expected and during the time you'd been reading it, both of you had deliberately avoided talking about the overabundance of sex scenes.
When Satan suggested this movie based on the book, he had acknowledged it for the first time. He told you that the movie was less steamy than the book, a little bit of a blush on his cheeks as he said it.
About a third of the way through the movie, you began to wonder if it really was more tame than the book. The characters on screen were currently moaning and gasping passionately. You figured it must just be this one scene. Certainly they wouldn't include any of the others.
This assumption was proven wrong as scene after scene presented itself to you, now in movie form. At this point, you might as well have been watching porn.
But it was good porn. There was still a nice story, the romance was intense and passionate, and if anything, it made you feel a little… tingly.
You tried desperately not to squirm, actively sitting on your hands in an attempt to prevent yourself from touching where you shouldn't. Despite all this, you couldn't prevent yourself from rubbing your thighs together.
You glanced at Satan, hoping against hope that he wouldn't notice how turned on you were.
To your complete surprise, you saw him with his hand on the bulge in his pants. He didn't seem to notice at first, his eyes fully on the screen where yet another compromising scene had begun.
You looked away, but then you looked back again. The movement must have caught Satan's eye because this time he looked right at you.
Your eyes met. Satan blushed and looked away.
"I'm sorry, MC," he said. "This movie is far more… suggestive than I was lead to believe."
You laughed a little. "Yeah, I'm feeling a little desperate over here…"
Your eyes met again. The only sound in the room at that moment was the moaning from the TV.
You groaned. "I can't take it anymore."
Satan sucked in a breath as you slowly slid your hand past the waistband of your pants. You gasped a little as your fingers finally reached the throbbing warmth between your legs.
Satan made a low strangled noise before unzipping his own pants and setting his cock free. You weren't surprised to see how hard it was, its tip glistening with pre-cum.
You were already turned toward him, but now Satan moved his body just enough so that he could see you. He watched as you tugged your pants down further, giving him a full view of you touching yourself. He moaned at the sight, his hand grasping his cock and pumping it languidly, as though he was afraid to go too fast.
The movie's scene switched to a rolling countryside, but the two of you weren't paying attention anymore. You're eyes were only on each other.
Satan began to stroke himself with more speed and intensity. You matched his pace, syncing your movements to his. This seemed to surprise him and his blush deepened significantly as he moaned your name softly, causing a stab of desire to run all the way through you. You whined at the way the bright pleasure was pooling in your belly.
You began to squirm, unable to hold still as you felt yourself reaching your climax.
Satan's voice was strained as he moaned out your name again. "MC… I'm - ah - ah!"
Watching him spurting cum across the blanket was enough to tip you over the edge. You cried his name as you came, too.
For a moment, both of you sat there, panting, hands still but lingering as though neither of you wanted it to end. Satan held your gaze, a hungry look in his eyes that made you shiver slightly.
"That was hot," you said, sighing a little.
Satan looked at your bed and frowned. "I'm sorry about your blanket. I'll wash it for you."
You laughed. "I made just as much of a mess as you did."
And yet when the movie's credits finally began to roll, Satan carefully rolled up your blanket and took it with him to be washed. He later left it on your bed, clean and folded, with the second book in the series sitting on top of it. There was a note that said, They've made a movie of this one, too.
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flufftober | kinktober | masterlist | Thank you for reading!
taglist: @anxious-chick
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toomanythoughts2 · 3 months ago
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Headcanons of Nathan sharing happy childhood experiences with his bandmates because they all have shitty childhoods and he loves tolerates them.
Nathan pours warm laundry on Toki when he's in his room. Toki is so happy when he does this because it's always so warm and everything smells so nice, and Nathan is saying stuff like, "Are you all warm now, little buddy?" and it makes him feel giddy. Also very regression coded.
When Murderface is suffering from nightmares, Nathan will touch his face and glide over the ridges and contours of his facial features to lull him back to sleep. Murderface always acts like it won't help but the affectionate touch always knocks him out in seconds. It's a very private thing that happens between them and Murderface doesn't like the idea of people knowing and making fun of him.
When swimming, Nathan will pick up his band mates and throw them as far as he can. Pickles will usually get the most distant being smaller than everyone, but Toki will ask for it the most. He also plays other games like Sharks and Minos, Colors, and Marco Polo. He will judge the others diving board jumps, play ring toss, and time races. He'll ask them to perform handstands, which Skwisgaar is exceptional at, and do flips in the water. Afterwards, they all get naps in their chairs because swimming knocks them all out.
Nathan will remind Skwisgaar to put lotion on his hands after practice because the strings dry out his skin. If he doesn't do it, he'll put it on himself, which usually includes him pulling on his fingers, pressing into his palm, and rotating his wrists. Skwisgaar never says anything about them but he will admit that his hands feel better when he does that. Nathan will also remind Murderface to put on his eczema cream and will put it on him when he tries to fight him about it.
Nathan is the reason that the other band members like Disney so much. He was the OG Disney adult of the group and had to basically bribe them to go to Disney. He planned the whole thing, showed them hidden Mickeys, taught them how to use the Fast Lanes, told them specific history of the rides and even some notorious bad visitor stories. He made sure they got good seats for the parades and the fireworks, and even let Toki climb his shoulders for a better view. He would have picked up Pickles but he was content standing next to him. He made them fall in love with going to Disney because his parents did the same thing for him.
He regularly has "sleepovers" with Pickles. Usually held in his own room, Nathan will go all out and rent a movie, get popcorn and candy, get into his nice PJs, bring out comic books and soda and all the stuff that he used to do while at a sleep over. They would build a fort and drink and smoke while watching "Transformers" and make bad commentary about the movie like they were on "Mystery Science Theater 3000." They would then fall asleep with the lights still on at around 3am because they were too busy laughing and giggling at each other from the exhaustion to actually fall asleep.
When Mordhaus (apartment) got storms, he would calm down Toki and Skwisgaar by teaching them all of the old sayings of what thunderstorms, lightening, and thunder are. "Thunder is just god going bowling and getting a strike." "When you hear lightening, that's because god sneezed." And he would teach them how to calculate how far away the lightening is by counting the seconds between a lightening flash and the sound of thunder. They would still be a little shaken up, especially Toki, so he would try to keep them as calm as possible.
Nathan has a secret language that only him and other bandmates know. It's incredibly stupid and easy enough to decipher, but its the fact that they have it that makes it special. Sometimes they use it during meetings to talk to each other without others understanding them. They'll tell jokes, talk trash, or just say nonsense cause they can. Over time they forgot about it but by that point it didn't matter because they've been friends for so long that they naturally created their own language with English.
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atleastpleasetelephone · 3 months ago
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Gentle On My Mind - Chapter 7
Initially set in 1967 when Elvis is filming Clambake. Feeling miserable and trapped after the Colonel banishes Larry and the spiritual texts, Elvis invites Gloria to keep him company through the last five days of filming. Gloria is an aspiring movie editor and more importantly she's a lot of fun. Will she be what Elvis needs to get him out of the depressive funk he's in?
Catch up with the other parts here.
Many thanks to @sissylittlefeather being my beta reader on this one.
A/N: We're up to 1968 now...
Pairing: Elvis x OC - Gloria, a budding film editor.
Word count: 5.1K
TWs: Infidelity, p in v sex, fingering, possessive kink, size kink, dirty photos, angst.
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Elvis doesn’t say a word on the drive back to the set, and he refuses to let any of the guys help him pack his things, closing the trailer door in their faces angrily. He takes his time putting clothes in bags, staring around the room at everything of hers that’s still there. Part of him is hoping if he does this slowly enough she’ll be back to pick up her things too. He’d spent the whole journey looking desperately for her car in the rear view mirror and not seeing it. But what would be the point? He wonders. Seeing her again wouldn’t change anything. If anything, it would make things worse. 
Picking up the last of his possessions, he suddenly realises he hadn’t ever given Gloria anything. He looks at his hands, but he’s barely wearing any rings, and he doesn’t want to just carelessly take one off for her. She deserves better than that. He scans the room again but there’s nothing. Sitting down on the bed, heavily, he wallows in self-pity. He can’t believe she is the one girl he hasn’t given something to. Even the rose he gave her on the first day she was on set was taken away again by Charlie. How will she remember him now?
***
Gloria walks around the trailer slowly, gathering her things. She’d waited for a long time before driving back from the beach. Partly because it took her a long time to calm down, and partly to avoid running into Elvis again. She wonders who really has the power to drag him away from her like this, she’s not sure that it’s the guy who found them and drove him back. That guy had looked strangely familiar, although she can’t place him now. Once she’s packed she sits on the bed and thinks of all the fun they’d had in this trailer. All the things he’d told her, the tears he’d shed. She can’t believe how sad she feels right now. Sighing, she picks up her bag and heads towards the door. It was just a fling, she tells herself. You’ll be over it in a week or so.
***
A couple of days later the wedding photos are plastered all over the papers. He looks so happy, Gloria starts to wonder if what happened on the beach was just because he felt guilty. Maybe he felt like he should’ve been sad, maybe he felt like she wanted him to make love to her like that. Make love. She shakes her head, trying to knock the words back out of it again. Absolute nonsense. It was just a fling for both of you. This proves it. 
***
“Let’s get rid of them. Come on. Let’s burn them. It’ll be a fresh start for both of us.” 
Elvis holds the books in his hands. It probably is best to put all of this stuff behind him, now Larry is gone. Cilla is probably right. He feels a pang of regret as he throws them, one by one, into the flames. His hand grips the numerology book, immediately thinking of Gloria telling him she was just a foolish impulsive girl and he’d be president someday. He swallows down the lump in his throat. 
“A fresh start,” he repeats, tossing the book into the fire, watching as the edges curl up and then the whole thing is engulfed in flames. “A fresh start together.”
***
It’s the third day of filming in LA for Chautauqua. As usual, Elvis is disappointed by the script. But he doesn’t have many more of these left to make, and at least this is a little different from his usual movies. After the disappointment of Charro! he actually feels okay about it. Plus, he’s just finished wrapping the Singer special and that’s something he’s definitely proud of. Finally finding a way to get back to seeing an audience again, the whites of people’s eyes. He’s still afraid of what people might think when they see it on TV. Does he still have it? But his confidence is back. Sometime soon he’ll be back in front of real audiences again. Just like he told Cilla he wanted. 
He’s making his way to the set for the day when he thinks he hears a familiar giggle. Gloria. He shakes his head. It can’t be her, why would she be…
“Elvis!” Suddenly she’s right in front of him, the same exuberant smile, the same beautiful face. His eyes scan down her body and he notices she’s dressed a little more demurely than the last time he saw her. She grins. “Fancy seeing you here!”
“Well I mean it’s my movie, honey. Think it should be me surprised to see you, not the other way around.”
He kisses her cheek, his hand on her arm. His eyes are sparkling, the blue set off wonderfully against the white suit he’s wearing, and it takes everything in her not to melt there and then. 
“I’m here helping with the editing work,” she explains, trying to control the blush that she’s sure has spread over her cheeks. 
“Oh really? That’s wonderful,” he replies, warmly. 
They both stand there for a while, looking at each other, not sure what to say or do. Eventually Gloria breaks the silence. 
“Congratulations, by the way. On your marriage, and your little girl.”
Elvis’ mouth curls into a lop-sided grin. “Ah, thank you. She sure is the apple of my eye.”
“I’m sure. I um… I have some news too.”
“Oh yeah?” Still smiling. 
“I’m engaged!” She waggles her finger at him, showing off the diamond ring there. “Getting married as soon as this wraps up actually. History repeating.”
His face falls, though he tries hard to recover. ‘Oh… ah… uh… well congratulations. I never thought ya were the marrying type, but uh… guess I was wrong.”
She smiles. “Well, when you find the right person it’s the only thing to do. You know that, of course. You have Priscilla.”
She doesn’t mean it to come out like that, so cold and accusatory, but it does. He nods curtly. 
“Yeah, sure. Anyway, I better go. Needed on set.”
“Good luck!” Gloria replies, brightly, trying to fix what she’d just done. “Break a leg!”
***
They spend the month of filming largely avoiding each other, and being polite when they find themselves in the same place at the same time. Gloria can’t help the feeling when she sees him though, every time her heart leaps and that familiar tingling starts between her legs. She bites her lip and closes her eyes and tries hard to think about her fiance instead. Roger had told her he loved her after three dates. He’d moved in after a month. He bought her pretty gifts every day and told her how he couldn’t live without her. She liked him. Of course she did, maybe she even loved him. But the important part was his devotion to her, which was unquestionable. Everything he did was to make her happy. She’d never experienced anything like it. So when he popped the question, of course she said yes. Then work sent her to LA, and she knew she’d see Elvis again. She’d tried to avoid reading about him, since the day his wedding was in all the papers. Thought that perhaps, over a year later, she’d got over their little fling. She had a man now who wanted her and needed her and provided for her. Once they were married she’d give this job up. But she had wanted to do this last movie, just to see that her feelings were really gone. Of course, they weren’t. 
She knows they’re really not gone the night her and some of the crew crowd around a television set to watch the Singer special. Of course she’s seen him on TV before, when she was much younger, but only once. After all the furore about his wiggling hips her parents put a stop to her watching him, even that awful show where they made him sing to the dog. And she saw him sing on set, when he was filming Clambake. But it’s nothing like this. For a start, he looks so damn good in that leather suit. The sweat is just dripping off him and Gloria can’t help having flashbacks to the time he carried her on his shoulder and then spanked her. But it isn’t just the way he looks, it’s the way he acts. The man she met on the set of Clambake was a shell in comparison to this. She can see he starts off the sit-down part slightly shy, awkward, a little nervous. But by the end, as he sings Memories to two girls on either side of him, that’s all gone. He’s a performer. He’s in his element. 
Her heart is beating so fast by the end of it. She feels like the whole thing was a whirlwind of singing and dancing and him on his knees in that suit, singing like a man possessed. Her brain tells her over and over again to go back to her trailer and touch herself, get it out of her system. But her legs carry her to Elvis’ trailer, and she stands outside looking in. He’s still in his Walter Hale get up, for some reason, but his hat is off and his hair is wild. The guys are all in there, laughing and cheering, all so excited they’ve clearly forgotten to put someone outside as a guard. All the same, she can’t go knocking on the door, not with so many of them about. She notices the guy that came down to get him from the beach that day, Joe? She’d remembered where she knew him from, several weeks after filming had wrapped. It just floated into her head one day. He was the guy at the party who’d told her about the beach. That’s how he knew exactly how to find them when they were gone. 
She walks back to her trailer and tries to make good on her promise to herself of masturbation and then sleep. But she keeps seeing flashes of him from that show, and she knows he’s not far away. And worst of all, she knows he’s still wearing that white suit. She groans. The only thing to do is call Roger. 
“Hi honey, it’s me,” she announces, brightly. 
“Oh… um… hi honey. How come you’re calling so late? Something wrong?” He sounds sleepy. 
She looks at her watch. It is kinda late. “Nothing wrong, just wanted to hear your voice.” Nothing wrong, nothing like I’m only just holding it together not to run into the trailer across the way and fuck Elvis Presley senseless. 
“Well that’s very sweet, but I was just in bed.”
“Oh. Naked?” She asks, hopefully. 
“C’mon Gloria, you know I never sleep naked. And I’m really tired. Let’s just talk tomorrow, can we?”
“Did you uh… did you see that Elvis thing on the TV tonight?” She has no idea why she’s asking this, beyond trying to keep him on the phone. 
“No. Look, honey, I really need my rest. I’ve got work tomorrow.” 
“Okay, sorry. I just missed you, is all.”
“I miss you too Gloria, but it won’t be long before you finish this movie now and then you and I never need to be apart again. Love you.”
And without waiting for her to reply, he puts the phone down. Gloria frowns. He’s usually so much more excited to talk to her than this. He’s probably just tired. It is late. She takes a few deep breaths and tries to stop thinking about Elvis and the sweat pouring off him as he sings. Her hand moves to her belly and the temptation to touch herself thinking about him gets even worse. She pours herself a drink and puts a record on. Think about something else. Anything else. 
Three drinks later and all remaining sensible thoughts are gone. She pulls a fur coat and her boots on and walks out of her trailer towards his. It’s much quieter than before and the blinds are down so she can’t see inside this time. Crossing her fingers that he’s alone, she knocks on the door. It’s a while before he finally appears, looking slightly dishevelled, raking his hair back from his face. He’s shocked to see her. 
“Glory.”
“Can I come in?”
He nods and opens the door wide for her, feeling her brush past him in the small doorway. Closing it before turning to face her. 
“You okay?” He asks, tentatively. 
She shakes her head. “No,” she replies, and before he has a chance to ask why her arms are around his neck and her tongue is in his mouth. 
He pulls her towards him with his big hands, holding her body tightly. “Shit,” he mutters, as they come up for air. “Thought ya were gettin’ married?”
She shakes her head in a way that tells him not to talk about that. Her eyes trail over his body in the white suit of Walter Hale and she tries hard not to moan audibly. 
“I watched the special,” she manages to get out before he kisses her again. 
“What d’ya think?” He asks, his breath hot on her cheek, trailing kisses from the corner of her mouth down her neck. 
“Fuck me.” 
He giggles into her ear. “That good, huh?”
“I really wanna tell you about it…” she breathes. “But first I really need you to fuck me with that big dick.”
“Oh God, I’ve missed that filthy mouth of yours.”
She giggles and they stand there for a moment, just looking into one another’s eyes. He’s missed more than just her filthy mouth. This energy, this joy. He’s missed her terribly. 
“Can you keep the suit on, though?”
He blinks. “What? The whole thing? Wardrobe will be mad with me if we mess it up…”
“Will they? Do you need to wear it again?” Her head is tilted to the side and she’s smirking at him. 
He can’t help smirking back. “Okay, fine. I don’t care. You want me to leave it on, I’ll leave it on.”
She bites her lip. “The jacket can go,” pushing it off his shoulders. “And we don’t need this tie,” undoing it and throwing it on the floor. “But the rest can stay.”
“What about the hat?” He asks, picking it up from the table he’d left it on earlier. 
She giggles, remembering that first night in his trailer when he’d put on a hat and a jacket and pretended to be her boss. “Put it on, let’s have a look.”
He grins, putting it on his head and then spotting a cigar on the table and putting that between his teeth too. “Ya like Walter, do ya baby?”
Giggling and nodding. “You gonna smoke that while you fuck me?”
“If you want me to.”
“I want you to.”
“C’mere,” he pushes her coat off her shoulders then picks her up in his arms and carries her over to the bed, putting her down carefully. She kicks off her boots.
Catching a glimpse of the long mirror on the closet door out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly has an idea he’s sure she’ll like. 
“You wanna watch yourself?” Nodding at the mirror. 
Gloria can hardly believe her ears. “Are you… okay?” She asks, but she doesn’t really want an answer. She likes him like this.
Elvis laughs, pulling her back up from the bed again and standing her in front of the mirror, his arms around her waist. He kisses her neck, cigar back in his hand for a moment.
“This way you can see me in this suit you like so much. And you can see yourself, getting fucked by my big dick.”
His hand moves down between her legs and squeezes. She hums with pleasure, grinning at his reflection. “I’d like that, big boy.” 
He pulls a lighter out of his pocket, lighting the cigar and puffing out a cloud of smoke around her. She can’t help giggling, until he unzips her pants and slides his hand into her panties. She gasps as his fingers touch her pussy and he presses more hot kisses to her neck. Roger never touches her like this.
“I don’t like it when girls wear pants, baby,” he tells her, teeth grazing her earlobe. 
“I better take them off then,” she replies, quickly reaching to shimmy them off. 
He grins. “Might as well take it all off,” he suggests, stepping back to take another drag of the cigar and look at her from behind and then at her reflection again. 
Gloria’s heart races at the idea of her being completely naked, in front of a mirror, and him behind her still wearing all his clothes. That TV special has certainly done something for his confidence levels, she thinks. She unbuttons her blouse and tosses it onto the floor, unhooking her bra and removing that too, so she’s just in her panties and socks. She looks back at his reflection in the mirror. 
He smirks around the cigar. “All of it, honey.”
She does as he asks, standing naked in front of the mirror. He takes the cigar out of his mouth so he can kiss her shoulder. 
“You’ve got a beautiful body, Glory. I missed it.”
“I missed your big dick.”
They both giggle, Elvis pulling her back against him. He slides his fingers back between her legs and starts to rub slow circles around her clit. 
“Your fiance…” he murmurs, close to her ear. 
“Average-sized,” she replies, quickly, panting a little at the pleasure building already. 
She knows it won’t be long before he makes her come, she’s so het up already.
“Mmm. That’s a shame, baby.”
“He’s nothing… like you,” she moans. 
Elvis smirks, taking another drag on his cigar as his fingers speed up their movements, watching her face in the mirror. 
“Come for me, Glory.”
She whimpers, tipping her head back and exposing her throat for his kisses. Her legs shake as the pleasure builds and builds and then finally reaches that wonderful crescendo. Moaning, her back arching, her head flopping onto his shoulder. 
“Mmmm. Good girl.”
She breathes hard, chest heaving, body tingling all over. He holds her for a few moments and then kisses her cheek. 
“Fuck. Elvis. That was so good.”
“Better than anything you’ve had lately?” His breath hot against her ear. 
She laughs, and elbows him in the side. “Stop that.”
“Okay, okay.” He runs his fingers down her sides gently. “How about you lean forward and put your hands on the closet… and spread your legs.”
“Something has happened to you since I saw you last,” she says, leaning forward and putting her hands on either side of the mirror.
He looks down at her ass and gives it a gentle slap, grinning as he grips his cigar between his teeth and unzips his pants, his dick standing to attention as soon as he releases it from the underpants he’d been forced to wear with the suit. Slowly starting to push inside her, he groans at how tight she is. Pulling her against him when he bottoms out, his mouth next to her ear again. 
“You’re so tight, Glory. Don’t think this man of yours can be giving you everything you need, hm?”
Gloria’s head spins. She loves Roger. Loves him. But the things Elvis is saying are turning her on so much. And he’s so good at this. 
“Hm?” He repeats, pulling back and thrusting into her, hard. 
She whimpers as he lets her body go and she falls against the mirror, looking at her own reflection smudged against the glass. He obviously wants an answer. 
“No…” she breathes, trying to get her hands back on the closet before he thrusts inside her again. 
“You like this?” He asks, starting to pick up a steady pace now, holding her hair to arch her back. “You like being fucked with this big dick?”
“Yes… Mr Presley…”
Smoke billows from his cigar as he continues to pound her pussy, watching his dick disappear into her over and over again, and then looking at her flushed, beautiful face in the mirror. She groans at the intensity of the feeling, knowing her second orgasm is coming soon. The sex was so good before, but this is unbelievable. She loves him being so dominant. 
He can feel her pussy clenching around him and it spurs him on to fuck her harder, knowing she must be getting close again. 
“Gonna come for me again?” He murmurs, mouth still around the cigar. 
“Yes… ohhhh…” she moans, feeling him hit that place inside her again and again. 
“Tell me I’m the best you’ve ever had.”
Her eyes go wide at his words, hands sliding onto the glass of the mirror, making it hard for her to stay upright. She manages to mumble, “mmm.”
“I wanna hear you say it,” he repeats. 
His impending orgasm is making him feel a little crazy, like he somehow wants to get one over on this guy who’s stealing his girl. His Glory. 
“You’re… the best… I’ve ever… had…” she pants, and then falls forward, her face against the mirror as he keeps going, relentless, fucking her like a man possessed. 
Her orgasm crashes into her with such force she almost screams, her walls squeezing him over and over as he continues to thrust. He moans and slams his palm against the closet as he comes deep inside her. Slowly, weakly pumping his hips a few more times and then falling against her fully. 
“Fuck me,” she says quietly, from between him and the closet mirror. “One TV special and you just think you’re God’s gift all of a sudden.” 
“Oh… ah… honey I-I…” he stammers, until he sees her face in the mirror, grinning at him. Realising she’s teasing. “Oh, you’re naughty.” 
He stands up and pulls her against him, his arms around her waist, growling into her ear. She giggles and squirms, but she’s enjoying the feeling of him still gradually softening inside her. He stops abruptly as he looks at the floor. 
“Ah. Shit.” Letting her go so he can pick up the cigar that is burning a hole in the carpet. 
She turns around and laughs. “Oh my God. Let’s try not to set the trailer on fire.” 
She admires him in the suit again as he puts the cigar out safely in an ashtray. But she wants to see his body now. 
“Let's get you out of this.” Her fingers undoing the buttons of his waistcoat. 
He smiles and lets her take his clothes off, feeling so much happier about his body now he’s lost that bit of extra weight. She stops to look at him once he’s naked, her hands exploring every inch of his skin as she follows her fingers with kisses. He’s lost the squishiness around his middle, and she’s almost sad about it. He’s so slight without clothes on, she wonders if he’s been eating enough. 
He’s still bashful though, laughing and blushing and asking her if she’s finished yet as she kneels down in front of him and runs her fingers down his legs. She giggles back, looking up at him through her lashes, wondering herself what on earth she’s doing. But she can’t stop, she even kisses his toes. She wants to touch every bit of him. His breathing is uneven as he stares down at her. No woman has ever done anything like this to him. She stands up again slowly and he takes her hand in his and leads her to the bed. They get under the covers and then just stare at one another, him absent-mindedly stroking her cheek as she runs her fingers through his hair. 
“So, what did ya think of the Special, then?” He finally asks. 
She grins. “Incredible. You were amazing. I’ve never seen you move like that before. And the songs… I loved the whole thing. You must be proud.”
He smiles a little. He supposes he is. “Yeah. I’m really proud of the way it turned out. The Colonel wanted a Christmas special, but Steve really stood up to him.”
“A Christmas special?”
“Yeah, he wanted snowmen and presents and me in a Christmas sweater…”
Gloria giggles. “Oh well I’m sure you would’ve looked cute, but… I mean that suit…” 
“You liked it?”
She puts her hand on his face, gently moving his hair back from his forehead. Some things hadn’t changed about him. He still needed constant reassurance. 
“Obviously I liked it, it was tight and it made you sweat.”
He laughs, and she thinks about how pronounced his cheekbones are now. 
“You think I look better than I did when I saw you last?” He asks, almost shyly. 
“I think you’re just fishing for compliments now,” she teases, her arm around him and her leg between his. 
“Well I think you look real good Glory,” he tells her, pulling her tightly against him and kissing her neck again. “Thought ya might want to compliment me back.”
She laughs, rolling him onto his back and biting his neck. “I told you how good you looked already. You’re so needy.”
He growls, easily overpowering her and rolling on top of her. “I’ve been dieting. And I love food. C’mon.”
He leans down and starts nibbling on her collarbone, making her giggle. “Don’t eat me!”
“No?” He raises an eyebrow and smirks. 
She shoves his chest, laughing, and pushes him back off her again. They tussle back and forth for a while, giggling until they’re both out of breath. 
“You looked good when we met and you look good now. I love you no matter how you look.” 
The words are out of her mouth before she notices the inclusion of the word love. She buries her head in his chest, wondering what to do next. Does she love him? Well, she certainly just said she does. Does he love her? He has a wife. 
Elvis looks down at her, stroking her hair gently. “I love you too, Glory.”
It doesn’t matter whether we love one another, she thinks. That’s irrelevant. She looks up, slowly. “Elvis, I’m getting married.”
“You don’t have ta.”
Gloria swallows, hard. “But you’re already married. And I want to… I… I’m going to marry Roger.”
“His name is Roger?” Elvis is struggling not to smirk. 
“Stop it!” She shoves him again, laughing. 
“He’s not going to satisfy you, Glory.”
“And neither are you, Elvis. You’re married and you have a baby, and a career. And I… can’t wait around for my own family.”
Elvis sighs. “Cilla and I aren’t… I mean, we don’t sleep together anymore…”
Gloria shakes her head. “I don’t want to hear this. I don’t… I’m getting married and that’s all there is to it.” She pauses for a moment. “But I’ll stay here tonight if you want me to.”
“Of course I want you to.”
Elvis feels jealousy coursing through his veins, the urge to find this Roger and tell him to call it off with her is huge and he wants to demand to know her address so he can go right now. He tries to swallow it all down. Maybe she’ll change her mind if she stays tonight. Surely he can persuade her if she stays in his trailer for the next week or so, until filming wraps. There’s no way they’re going to be able to stay apart now.
They spend the rest of the night talking, rather than sleeping, and several hours in Elvis remembers something he’d brought with him to set. He pulls out a polaroid camera, it’s big and expensive and it produces photographs immediately. Gloria’s eyes light up when he explains the concept to her. 
“Can I take some of you, honey?” He asks. 
She grins. “Dirty photos?”
He blushes, a little of the old insecurity back. “Well, only if ya want to…”
“Of course I want to! You fucked me in front of a mirror with your Walter Hale outfit on. Obviously I wanna do filthy stuff.”
He takes a few photos of her face, and then she starts to pose like a pin up girl so he takes photos of her like that. Then she starts to pose like the centrefold of a dirty mag and he takes some of her like that, too. He finds himself between her legs, taking a shot of her pussy and barely even blushing. After a while she holds her hands out. 
“C’mon. I want some of you.”
He looks a little uncomfortable, so she gets up and grabs his white hat and another cigar. 
“Here. Let me have one with you like this.”
She lies back on the bed and takes a photo of him leaning over her, smirking around the cigar. 
“That better just be my face.”
“That one was,” she replies, gesturing for him to lie on his back and getting up on her knees to take another. “But this one definitely isn’t.”
He grabs her waist and pulls her on top of him, and it’s all she can do to avoid hitting him with the camera. “Let’s see.”
They tussle again for a while and then sit up, looking through the photos. He tries to tell her she can’t keep the photo of his dick but she just giggles and tells him she’ll keep it from falling into the wrong hands. Eventually they fall asleep in one another’s arms. 
Gloria wakes up after only a couple of hours of sleep and looks at her watch. 6am. He’ll be awake in an hour or so to start filming again. She looks at him sleeping peacefully next to her. Then she looks at the photos again and smiles. Slips them into her handbag and gets dressed quietly. She can’t stay here. Can’t stay on set. She’ll just end up in his bed every night and then what will happen with her and Roger? Elvis will never commit to her like Roger has. She sighs, pulling on her boots and coat. 
She can’t wake him up or he’ll just beg her to stay. But she feels funny about leaving without saying anything too. She looks around briefly for a pen, and when she can’t find one she takes her lipstick out of her bag. Applying it to her lips she picks up one of the pin-up style photos he’d taken of her and presses a kiss to it. Turning it over she scrawls on the back. 
“Sorry big boy. You know I love you. Glory xx”
Quietly slipping out of the trailer she thinks she will probably never see him in person again. She sighs. Well, they’d at least had some fun.
***
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panlight · 7 months ago
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What is something that you thought when you first read the books and how did that develop over time?
My opinion of Renee was initially a lot more positive when I first read the books. She reminded me of my mom, and my mom isn't by any stretch of the imagination a bad or neglectful mom. She was just the kind of carefree extrovert who liked to try on new hobbies that Renee initially seemed to be. I also didn't read Bella's "I've been running the house since I was six" as literal, I read it as hyperbole. I read the "at least Phil will make sure the bills will get paid" as a joke, since my dad has always been forgetful (but again! in no way bad or neglectful!) and we make similar jokes. I still maintain that Renee wasn't initially meant to be terrible and as SM kept writing books she wrote her worse and worse. Again, I don't think SM would have named the miracle baby "RENEsmee" if she had a poor opinion of Renee. Remember, she wrote Forever Dawn right after Twilight; all the other books, including New Moon and Eclipse, came later. I've since accepted a more negative view of her based on how she has been written in Life & Death and Midnight Sun, and come to realize that maybe SM/Bella DID mean it literally when Bella was doing the taxes as a child.
I thought the James bite was going to be a Big Deal. Bella was, as far as we know, the first person to be bitten by a vampire and NOT die or turn, and that, to me, should have been a big thing?? But it's not? It never went anywhere? Other than to occasionally look at her silvery scar. I had initially thought it could have gone in so many interesting directions (did the experience work like an inoculation and now she's immune to venom? could they use her blood to great a cure? conversely would it slowly be turning her into a vampire? or give her some kind of powers?). I still feel like this was a HUGE missed opportunity, and while i still wouldn't have loved the halfpire baby and 'Bella's the best newborn ever' plot points, using this one-of-a-kind situation with James' bite could have at least been a way to explain them better. Maybe she was able to conceive BECAUSE she had that exposure to venom; or maybe that exposure was what made her able to skip all the newborn stuff. Like this one was thing where Bella WAS legitimately special and unique and SM didn't really do anything with it.
A minor one, but when I first read Eclipse and it talked about how Bree surrendered and "only Carlisle would think of offering" and I originally read that as Carlisle offered surrender to all the newborns and Bree was just the only one who accepted. I had this image of him standing on a rock in the clearing being like, "We don't want to fight! This isn't your battle! If you surrender we will spare you! We are merely defending ourselves and the town!" as the raging newborn horde is running toward him until Jasper and Emmett have to drag off the rock before the newborns overrun him. The Eclipse movie and Bree Tanner book ruined that interpretation, haha.
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olderthannetfic · 10 months ago
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Hey. Maybe not the place. But people treat your ask box like a forum so 🙏 I thought I was ace because porn does nothing for me and I only like erotica/doujinshi if I like the characters. But I recently discovered watching wrestling does something for me. Is this really weird? How do I know where I fit?
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I will gleefully embrace the identity of basement-dwelling gremlin who prefers horny fiction to actually dating or having sex with other people.
But porn tastes aren't what defines sexual orientation.
Neither is willingness to get off the couch.
Are you attracted to people, anon? That's usually how people define the various identities on that spectrum: no attraction, very occasional attraction way below what's seen as commonplace, attraction only when you know someone well, etc. (Which, of course, brings up the question of what level is "normal" and whether someone's judging based on Hollywood nonsense or on what's actually typical.)
For me personally, mainstream porno movies have actors I find un-hot wearing clothing I find libido-killing in ugly environments with bad lighting and camerawork. The scenarios lack the psychological depth needed to interest me, and there's little sense of intimacy.
This has nothing to do with orientation and everything to do with film craft.
Doujinshi of characters I'm already familiar with have a lot more context for what's going on, and this can add a lot of zing to kinks or increase the apparent intimacy.
Wrestling has plotlines. It has deeply charismatic stars. It has different body types than a lot of porn. There's nothing odd about finding it hot but not liking the porno movies you've been exposed to.
Plenty of people prefer all of the horny film festival favorites of the 90s to actual porno movies. It seems like funding dried up for those kinds of movies for a decade or two, but they used to be common.
I preferred the kinkier ones. Crash, for example, was a staple of my teenage viewing. Not the cringey one that won too many awards: the pervert one with the eight billion scenes of people licking each other's scars like they were performing oral.
It really digs into the psychology of kink... in addition to being far more visually beautiful and starring far hotter people than most of the commercial porn I've seen. Same deal with The Pillow Book or ¡Átame! or Maurice or Bound.
I've been seeing articles lately talking about a return to 90s levels of sex in arty movies. People point to the likes of Call Me By Your Name and Saltburn.
Live action commercial porno movies do vary, obviously, but it's just so, so, so common to find them tacky or boring while liking other forms of porn, even other live action sex scenes.
Hell, even for poorly shot stuff, I've never seen even amateur porn capture the vibes of this one long-deleted youtube video of a guy giving a lecture on anal massage and treating his subject like a prop while lecturing to a big group of onlookers.
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Sometimes, people just aren't very into casual sex, and horny art where they can fantasize about people who actually know each other is better than horny art about the pizza delivery guy. Sure, there are pornos that try to have more plot, but porn stars are generally good at being porn stars, not at subtle and naturalistic acting.
Wrestlers are hardly subtle, but they do do different acting from your average porno, and there's more continuing plotline. Unless you mean... like... college wrestling? (In which case, Kink.com has or had some series where people wrestle to decide who gets to top. Wrestling is hardly a niche interest.)
For kinksters, the context and psychology often matter a lot. Showing an object with a lot of cultural baggage, like shiny black leather, can be hot, but the viewer might need more, and your average porno isn't geared up to provide that.
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Anyway, if you want to determine your own orientation, your interest in art isn't necessarily going to help that much.
If you're only rarely attracted to people, and you have to know them well first, you could be demisexual, but you could equally well be shy or nervous or depressed or repressed or too busy and stressed to spend much time noticing your own feelings—or just surrounded by people who aren't your type. Only your personal interpretation of your internal experience can determine which it is.
But no, being horny for wrestling is not weird.
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miiilowo · 1 year ago
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You should make the list of ways you were correct anyways, just for fun ~
eh. sure. why not
Any time a post of mine about afton got a decent amount of notes (aside from fanart) there'd usually be comments on it complaining about how "those" fans [note: i am one of "those" fans] have no idea what his personality actually is, and that they water him down, woobify and mischaracterize him, all while listing things off that are just genuinely part of william's character. while yes, there are fans that DO do that, the stuff they talk about is almost never an actual example of this happening. this is likely due to people not viewing him as a person and just a bland cold serial killer with no personality whatsoever
obviously movie william is not 1:1 with game or book william, but they're gonna be similar in personality. so heres some stuff ive seen people complain was "mischaracterization" thats present in the movie:
hes emotional/sentimental and actually cares about things - william calls the owner of freddys sentimental when talking to mike about the pizzeria (and we all know the owner is william), he visibly regrets/is shocked by the fact he stabs vanessa, he gets really worked up when things dont go his way, very quick to anger, etcetera. one could argue that william is lying about being sentimental and just wants to give an excuse for why the place is still around, but there'd be no reason to do that, considering mike has no idea anyone even died there, let alone the fact HE killed the kids. we know williams sole motive for keeping the place around definitely isnt just sentimental reasons, but i doubt that what he said doesnt have at least an ounce of truth to it. he holds onto trophies from his kills as well if him keeping garretts toy plane is anything to go off of
he actually likes bunnies and has an affinity for them - he has a rabbits foot on his keyring and has a letter/paper holder that's rabbit shaped. the letter holder isnt actually in any shots, but it was present on set on his desk
his personality isnt one note and dull/cold, and hes superstitious & a little offputting/jittery - the rabbits foot on his keyring ties into this idea, because if he actually believes it to be a good luck charm, then it shows some "quirkiness" for lack of a better term that people adamantly refuse to admit is in his personality. this also shows how hes superstitious, which is an idea thats present in the books, and people also like to pretend he isnt. he pokes fun at mike in a somewhat lighthearted way multiple times, he has a has a FRAMED PARTICIPATION AWARD on his wall for christs sake. the kids hair colors match the animatronics they were stuffed into (minus bonnie). he matched them. he made them match he paired them up for fun. not only that, but he gets visibly nervous and antsy when he realizes who mike is, and clearly really wants him to take the job. gets kind of weird. gets a kinda strange. he likes when things match afterall (symmetry, my friend!)
he's theatrical and over the top in personality on purpose (this is also essentially an argument for the last point) - in the books he goes on and on about performance and how he viewed both dave miller & springtrap as characters he plays, and i seriously wouldn't doubt that it'd be the same here, considering how cartoonishly evil he is while wearing the springbonnie suit. the voice changer, the little flourishes he adds to his speech, the fact he wipes off the knife when there wasnt any blood on it in the first place. for what. for what reason other than for pizzazz and intimidation points. the "oh, this is going to be so much fun!" line, and especially his playful demeanor disappearing the second he takes off the mask
he cares about his kids/likes kids - his expression when he stabs vanessa and she falls to the ground says enough i think. obviously hes not a GOOD parent, but being a good parent and caring about your kids are two wildly different things. you can be abusive and still care. most abusers dont process that they are abusers but thats a conversation for another time. william prioritizes himself over anyone else, but he still looks shocked after he stabs his daughter, and i refuse to blame that on bad acting because its MATTHEW LILLARD. the training tape for mike also states that he enjoyed entertaining kids, and yes, while that could be a lie, do you seriously think the creator of what essentially is chuck e cheese would actually despise children. the fact he gives garretts toy plane to vanessa could be a point toward him in this department as well, though its also just as likely he collects them as trophies. i like to think its a mix of both
i included these points specifically because i also have a plethora of evidence for them from both the books and the games, and theyre the ones i most commonly see people stating are unrealistic for afton.
its not a lot of stuff, but its not like he has a lot of screentime. lets be real
i do ADORE how egotistical and shortsighted they made him in the movie, though everyone can generally agree on that being a staple trait of his
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