#the blanket isn't helping

[deiaiko]

Sleeping in

[starrsarchive]

finished pride month nails!!! ignore how messy they are, i haven't done multiple colors in forever 😭

[msburgundy]

getting up early sucks

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

Wip Wednesday but I've completely lost the plot. The train isn't just off the tracks it's made it's way to a whole different planet.

Crochet has driven me to becoming the thing I would like to destroy. Or rather, I am thinking about buying yarn that I started a whole project to use up because I don't like it anymore.

This blanket was supposed to use up all my aran/worsted weight acyrlic yarn that are left overs from other projects or scrapped projects or just otherwise not set aside for something specific. I just don't knit using this type of yarn really anymore and it was taking up both a lot of physical space and a lot of space in my brain.

Up until laying out the yarn for photos I was very ok with it being ugly and the colours being wildly out of proportion. Until I realized it's basically a rainbow blanket and that I was really enjoying how it looked. Now I feel the (entirely internal) pressure to make it ACTUALLY look good. Also I don't think I'll have enough yellow to finish out this blanket so I need/want to buy more yarn anyway.

To make it more proportional I'm thinking another skein of the solid red. I'm also considering adding a variegated yarn (Warm Brights colourway) which is uhhhh Not usually something I like, I tend to really really dislike variegated colourways, but I don't mind them as much in granny stitch. And the Warm Brights would do a Lot to smooth the warm colours together. Theoretically the Unicorn Magic colourway of that same yarn would do the same with the bottom half but there's already going to be so much purple I'm hesitant to add even more (I keep arguing back and forth with myself over this I had to delete like four paragraphs of me being indecisive).

This is another case where I start a simple project and can't stop myself from over-complicating it but also hrrnggg pretty rainbow blanket. This man could be so gorg.

[oreo-creampie]

Is taking drugs normalized and easy in your place/country? /gen I would like to know more. Here getting alcohol itself is a big deal

It depends on the drug, drinking is very rampant and some who do drink look down on those who smoke. Like its somehow better? Alcohol is still counted as a depressive downer type drug, so idk

Bud is easy to get, medical stuff is becoming the norm and that's what I have. Though normal street stuff is very common

Acid/shrooms are harder to get. Dmt I have only gotten on e since I had a friend who made it and took it. Though due to how painful that drug is to take i don't want to try it again. One and done was good for me!

Lab grown shrooms are the hardest to come by since that is the stuff that has to be moved big time across lines and what not. Versus normal shrooms is found in a cow field and needs to be heavily cleaned before eating

Acid is a bit more common to come by due to the party city that I live by. A lot of people like to take acid, smoke and drug

Molly is a hit or miss to get and the hardest to get would be x and ketemine which comes in a white powder form that you snort and if you snort too much you will get a sore that will scab up and take a little while to heal. Also the inside lining of your bladder will come out in your piss but that's with heavy heavy addicted usage

Most people tend not to go into the heavy stuff and stop with bud and drinking. I personally like tripping but I tend to plan these events out with recovery time included which is a day of rest after the drugs have run out and then I'm back to work

[brynnmclean]

If SJM isn't actually interested in explaining how the taxes work in her super special fantasy city, maybe she shouldn't vaguely mention it in her breezy attempt to dunk on Tamlin. "There's no tithe, just a city tax" Okay???? Sure???? It just reeked a bit of "oh, Rhys is a modern ruler of the people, so much more benevolent, we don't do something as barbarous as a tithe" with no further explanation to back it up. It's not even like I'm interested in fantasy economics, I just don't understand why she decides to make these points. Especially when the vibe she wants now seems to run so contrary to what was established with Tamlin in book 1 of him not standing on class anyway? I don't even think Velaris makes much sense as a city tbh-- it's isolationist to the point of literally no one outside of the city knowing about it existing-- like, sorry, people in Beleriand knew about Gondolin even if they didn't know the location-- and yet I keep hearing about how flourishing and prosperous it is??? Stop telling me the surface idea you want me to buy and give me some actual concrete details to really back it up.

[jenna-louise-jamie]

my period cramps are agony help help help please send help

[iracundiias]

i am counting down the days until autumn. i have had enough of summer and being hot and sweaty all the damn time 😭

[199degrees]

it is so hot in my room right now how am i supposed to try to go to bed or even just relax in here i hate the heat!!!!!!!!!!!

[pastafossa]

Me after months of not being able to unpack in my room or having things go wrong and now all the boxes are piled up and overwhelmed at the prospect of unpacking because even with what I've unpacked it still feels like there's too much: this is fine

My mom: ...would you like some help this week unpacking?

Me:

[thethingything]

so CBT never worked for us in therapy. basically every instance of it was therapists trying to get us to stop being anxious about very real problems that were very likely to happen. like, situations that were not only likely, but would be very dangerous if they did happen. sometimes even things that had already happened and were likely to happen again.

meanwhile we have an app on our phone that guides you through various CBT exercises and it turns out when we use that for the kind of shit where we already know our brain is being irrational and we just want to get our thoughts together and work through the issue by writing it out, it works really fucking well and oh look suddenly we've been doing CBT for an hour and processed the root cause of several key emotional issues we've been having for years.

funny how that works. it's almost like we can actually figure out for ourselves when something is irrational and when it's an actual real problem that could put us in danger and shouldn't be dismissed. who'd have fucking thought it

[bipdf]

it's so cold here.

[rosetintedgunman]

OOC:

Thinking more about this piece while I get myself set up for a quickfire round of replies before bed and... I feel like I should make a little disclaimer:

Wilf LOVES everyone he's been able to befriend. They all mean the absolute world to him. He's still thrilled to find new people to make friends with! He has vague recollections of only being able to hold maybe three people as friends for most of his 'past life', so having MORE than three is a big deal!!

Essentially, if you think "aw man I wish I could let my muse be friends with that idiot", let them! He doesn't need to be a 'default' anything in your verse. I literally have a verse where he goes to another ego timeline, shrugs, says "guess I'm here too now :3" and calls himself Rose, so his existence shouldn't overlap the existence of whatever you might have established. Don't feel like he has to be the Wilford who was the William in your version of things, or he's the Wilford that's part of your particular band of egos. He doesn't have to be!

[recolourrhys]

I swear I'm working on my other Bullet Train WIP stuff from the poll alongside the current Trigun Completely Normal (lying) Interest Level™️

Just

Godddddd

I just know Wolfwood isn't built in the dehydrated n malnourished visibly jacked sorta way w like 10% body fat like fucking Hollywood-grown, I know I KNOW it's the more subtle working muscle from constantly hefting that 220+ lb monstrosity around like a Quiznos sign spinner and legging it across half the planet for years (most visible in the arms, chest + back/shoulders bc how can it not be)

The kind of jacked dude that ends up being mistaken for soft and pudgy bc he's not chiseled and actually carries the layers of body fat around his torso/core

Like if you weren't already incredibly aware of the muscle this guy is packing it would not be immediately apparent until you're picking up your teeth from where they're scattered three towns over

I am visualizing a v specific body type but do not have the right terminology quite. Like a lot of the ppl who do the caber toss! They don't look weak by any stretch but I think a lot of ppl would be inclined to underestimate just how fit and strong they are bc body fat "hides" the muscle (mainly being like. Abs). Like w powerlifters, too!!

There was not a completely coherent destination in mind here I just have really strong Feelings abt this and him and how he Looks

[fuckyeahrevresbo]

I'm lonely.

I've been in this city for about 20 months now and... I guess it would be disingenuous to say I haven't made any friends. There's some coworkers (mostly former coworkers now) I get on with, and I've even had them over a couple times to chat and play a video game. But it's very rare, and I'm once again in the position where it's an I always need to be the one setting everything up situation. Not once have they ever suggested hanging out first.

I recognize how you meet new people. Just go to the same place consistently, do the same activity consistently. After a day at work, though, I don't feel much like going anywhere. Don't feel much like spending money at a place consistently (and most places you can go cost money). And I'm still about the only person I know who masks in public regularly, and I don't really like going places if I don't at least know people are vaxxed. Getting more and more difficult to ask about that, especially given the... political climate where I live.

I can still do things online with my friends back home. It's fun, I enjoy it. Have all these board games up here though that don't get played. I had hoped at least since I lived in the same place I'd see my cousins more often. It is more often, I guess, more often than the once or twice a year before, but it's not exactly... common. And it's unfair of me, but now I'm annoyed at one of them. Messaged her and her sister separately about getting together for board games. Got told by her (still haven't heard from her sister) that it's difficult because their schedules don't line up. I said to her they could come over different times, doesn't have to be together. I know her sister usually drives them, but I can drive, as I told her. And now I hear that she's meeting my roommate to do some activities on Saturday while I've got an online game. I don't begrudge them that per se, they're allowed to do stuff without me, but there's something about meeting my roommate in person for stuff and brushing aside my offer. I'm sure it's not like that, but... I'm lonely.

My roommate will occasionally play a board game with me, but in the evenings he's more inclined to watch a movie. I like watching movies on occasion, but...

Brought three board games back from my last trip home. Bought another one a couple weeks back. Feels like I've been overly optimistic. Feel that way every time I open grindr too.

Do I just go back home after this? Been telling people who asked I wasn't sure. There's something nice about being out here. And much as I complain about my current job, I don't want to have to try and find another one. But I'm nearly 20 months in. And I'm fucking lonely.

I need more people who message me first. Who hit me up to chat before I message them. Who ask if I want to hang out before I have to ask them. Mentally, I'm better than I was ten years ago, even five years ago, but there's still a little voice ready to enumerate all my faults and mistakes and to tell me I'm not wanted. If I'm always the one who has to make the plans, to remind people I exist and want to see them...

I take all my breaks at work alone now. The other coworkers I used to go on break with have left. The one that's still here... well, at first I might have said it was because they were on us to follow the break schedule. But she takes all her breaks with her other friend now, despite his break being scheduled later than mine. Even when we were down to just the three of us, she took break with him and asked our supervisor to get someone to cover while they went, whereas before she got annoyed with people taking breaks in a way that didn't provide coverage.

Yeah, I can give people a smile or a laugh or some fries, but do they actually want to hang out with me? Rationally, I know they do, but tonight's a bad night, and I'm lonely.

And how do I tell people that part of me feels unwanted because people don't message first without it sounding like a guilt trip? I've been guilted before, and it feels awful. I don't want people to feel guilty, and I definitely don't want them to feel like they have to reach out to me as an obligation. Just want... I dunno, assurance that I'm not just there, not just a warm body to fill a place.

I'm lonely.

[memesomething]

the way this website has normalised using mutual tracker (a non-native tool) so that you can tell at all times if someone needs a no-fuss break from following and might return later, or if they have simply decided your content doesn't serve them anymore, or if they are just one of the people the tumblr beings have randomly decided need to unfollow someone today .... and the way it's normalised that you can weaponise or "use" that knowledge in some way (even an altruistic way they didn't ask for and did not want you to have, otherwise they would have used their words).... is invasive. that's the take