#the bird may shat on you

[moonysmagicwand]

"And the bird that leaves soon after eating may shit on your shoulders. Be wary of the birds who fly after eating."

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

book 7 part 5 thoughts!!

***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7 PART 5 OF THE MAIN STORY!!***

If you’d like to watch a rough part-by-part summarized translation, please check out this archived stream!

Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.

Starting off strong with some lore on magic! Teleportation magic involves breaking oneself down and reconstructing elsewhere. If the distance from point A to point B is too large and/or the caster is in poor health, the magic may fail or be difficult to perform.

Hmmm... Lilia is reacting very emotionally to the situation, but it is Baul that is (mostly) rational and reminding Lilia to keep calm. I'd anticipate it being the other way around, so that's quite interesting.

HUH... Even Sebek is staying calmer here than Lilia is; Sebek recalls training with Lilia and how they were taught that they have to stay calm to think and plan effectively in tough situations. Ironic that the old Lilia was the type to go against the advice he would later give and instill in his pupils. Again, it goes to show how much he has changed since then.

AH, BAUL'S BEING A TSUNDERE AGAIN 🤡 He's telling the kids to stay behind because the situation has changed... "Don't foolishly discard the life Lilia-sama protected", "humans shouldn't be fighting alongside fae anyway", etc. (And, of course, Silver's the one to step up and tell him fae or human, it doesn't matter and he still owes Lilia his life all the time.) NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO TALK, GUYS... MALLEMOM'S GONNA BE GAME ENDED

Weird sounds downstairs? SILBEK KICK DOWN THE DOOR and we find some chefs in hiding. adhbasvfvuvfqeilfe;o THEY MISTAKE SILVER FOR THE DAWN KNIGHT... More sussy behavior implying the Dawn Knight must be his ancestor.

They ask for brooms to transport the injured faster. Silver's negotiation skills come in clutch again, he convinces the chefs to direct them to the brooms even though it would be helping the fae, the humans' enemies.

Not Sebek's stomach growling now of all times... NOT SEBEK DENYING IT SO MUCH (it's okay, they get pity and some food from the chefs!)

Found a room full of birds; they seem to be for transporting messages. Silver feeds them some of the bread they got from the chefs. Wow, Sebek's actually being sneaky/clever (?). He tells Silver he's loved by animals, so time to use that now so they can use the birds.

AKHBBGSKUVYEQFBI NOT GRIM WANTING TO EAT THE BIRDS

Bleh, we have another time-gated, character-limited map segment. Silver and Sebek take up 2 of the 5 slots. Again, the cards' health does not regenerate unless you land on a special square. Luckily for us, there is only a single path forward rather than a larger, sprawling map.

NO KIDDING, THE BIRDS HELP THEM FIGHT THE SILVER OWLS... Literally they're swooping in and tugging on the knights' cape and stuff... the squirrels nibbled away at their catapults' rope too... chucking rocks at them... THE BIRDS POOPED ON THEIR ARMOR TOO???????? Imagine training your whole life to put your life on the line for your home country, only to be literally shat on and defeated by woodland creatures...

Lilia: I hate children. Also Lilia: *rushes into battle to protect the children and gives them head pats for a job well done and asks them to be safe*

Silver continues to be a Disney princess!! They find some horses tied up and he's like "let's free them". Sebek drops some club lore; Silver is one of the better students in Equestrian Club when it comes to soothing the horses. True Horse Girl at heart, huh??

Silver and Sebek are surprised that what they learned in school is actually helping the in a "real world" sense. Man, I wish that was true of irl high school education too...

The Silver Owls recruited mercenaries from other countries to help them seize Briar Country's resources??? The others pitch in because they live in fear of a dragon attacking them.

They're going to teleport into the castle, but they can't teleport out since they can't guarantee the safety of Tamago-sama... They're going to use the underground waterways to escape!

There's a mountain range that protects another castle of the royal family, Black Scale Castle. Malleus's mom is currently in an unprotected castle, Wild Rose.

Wow, what a peaceful vista straight out of Sleeping Beauty. I sure hope it doesn't become tainted by blood being spilt and bodies dropping or anything craaazy like that/j

DAWN KNIGHT INCOMING???? Silver's ring starts??? Going off??? When he sees the Dawn Knight...

Heinrich reveal too! He seems like just as much of a scumbag as all the rumors say he is (he wants a dragon to ride, tells the Dawn Knight he's only good for his swordsmenship, etc). BRO JUST STRAIGHT UP SAYS HE WANTS TO TAKE MALLEMOM'S EGG AND RAISE IT TO BE HIS STEED... 💀 WTF THAT'S SO DARK

This asshole reminds me of Jack Horner from Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish, who is another irredeemably evil man with a small face and a generally grotesque design.

Heinrich is after the castle and some very powerful magestone called "Princess's Glow"? Not sure, did not hear the second word well.

He's giving them 30 minutes to send the princess out for a one-on-one duel with the Dawn Knight. If she wins, they'll retreat (I DON'T BELIEVE THAT FOR ONE SECOND).

NOT THE CASUAL FAE RACISM... Heinrich calls Mallemom a "witch". If you'll remember!! In book 6, Lilia says that mages were once called witches, but implied that those terms are now outdated and considered derogatory.

The Dawn Knight is like Silver! He tries to tell Heinrich this isn't right, but Heinrich tells him that since his father took the Dawn Knight in as an orphan, the Dawn knight "owes" them. It's a twisted parallel to Silver and Lilia's relationship (because Silver says he feels like he "owes" Lilia and has to repay him).

Okay, so to review the family tree??? The king of the human faction is sick and they want the Princess's Glow to heal him. The king is the dad of Heinrich and Leah; the king would also later take in the Dawn Knight. Leah and the Dawn Knight are in love.

Malleus's mom's official name is "Meleanor" (a location name is written in English with this)i. The castle's halls really resemble those in Diasomnia dorm (I think it's a reused asset). (Now that I think about it??? Didn't they also reuse the VDC backstage background for the eastern fortress?)

SHE'S SINGING???????? A lullaby for her baby, it seems. Bruh... Malleus sang like a line from this lullaby before he game-ended everyone with his UM... HE REMEMBERED HER SONG FROM INSIDE THE EGG SHELL??????????

MALLEMOM REVEAL AW YEAH (she starts zapping Lilia with lightning lol; she's mad at Lilia for showing up late to defend her and her egg) SHE'S THE HOT GOTH GF

OMG EGG REVEAL TOO... UNBORN MALLEUS... (The egg looks like it has blot running down it too, which is insane)

ADBLIsfiablfa IT'S SO WEIRD SEEING HER SIMP ON MAIN, she says he knows her unborn child will grow up to be a beautiful man just like her husband... (Sebek is practically sobbing from happiness that he gets to witness Meleanor name Malleus.)

The ear shape is really coming back to bite them; Mallemom noticed them and now her anger is turning to our group. She forces us to kneel with magic... Jafar energy fr

"Princess Glow" is the green orb in Mallemom's staff!

Lilia tells some embarrassing stories of the princess's tomboyish youth; "And though you always scolded me, you never failed to join me in my mischief" -- Mallemom to Lilia

She agrees to duel the Dawn Knight while the others escape with her child... Now Mallemom and Lilia are fighting because Lilia refuses to follow through with her order.

NOOOOOOO SILVER JUMPED IN TO PROTECT LILIA FROM MALLEMOM'S LIGHTNING 😭 EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS IT'S A DREAM, HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE HIS DAD HURT

Lilia trauma time :)) "I can't lose both you (Meleanor) and Raverne (Malleus's dad)".

IT'S LIKE WE THEORIZED, LADS. Mallemom says that if anything happens to her, then it's up to Lilia to help Malleus hatch with the POWER OF TRUE LOVE... BUT LILIA THINKS HE CAN'T HATCH IT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND A PARENT'S LOVE

OH MY GOOOOOOD THE PIPING HOT TEA, MELEANOR SAID LILIA PROPOSED TO HER WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG... OVER 200 YEARS AGO

sdhbfbiyoaifofi Mallemom says that Lilia "also loves Raverne" and that those two spent more time together than a "married couple". You could interpret this as Lilia being bisexual or just as them being really good friends, as Meleanor never specifies if Lilia “loves” Raverne romantically.

Suddenly, Lilia's special card name makes sense! Lilia is the "Right General", and Raverne is the "Left General".

The weather shifted according to Meleanor's anger. Like mother, like son... This woman also quotes Maleficent so much...

OOOOH we get to watch a battle between Mallemom (dragon form) vs the Dawn Knight. Mallemom uses all null/cosmic magic, just like Dorm Uniform Malleus. The Dawn Knight uses light type null/cosmic magic just like Silver does too!

Dawn Knight face reveal?! He's basically Silver copy-pasted but long blonde hair. Dude's really out here looking like a Sonic OC recolor/j

The Dawn Knight also has a crown-like ring on a chain. It's an item that was given to him by guardian fairies when he was young; there is no other like it.

YASASHII... The Dawn Knight notices our group has the egg and tells them to run. He doesn't want Heinrich to get his hands on it either... Crowley, takes notes 😭

UHHHHH SILVER'S CRYING AND SHOUTING... I think he realized that he's descended from the Dawn Knight, serving on the faction that's brought so much harm to his loved ones and home country. "Am I family to the enemy?!" His denseness is truly to his detriment here.

Uh-oh, Silver's being pulled into the "darkness" of the dream, thinking it would be better to just stay here than face reality... He's losing hope, DOING THE THING HE FORESHADOWED LAST UPDATE... IF HE EVER FALLS INTO THE DARKNESS, THEN PLEASE PULL HIM OUT... (Another map segment with Silver required; you have to find your way around in the dark.)

NOOOOO NOT SILVER SEEING HIMSELF AS THE DAWN KNIGHT THAT HIS DAD'S STRIKING DOWN IN VENGENCE OTL WHAT IS THIS, IT'S SO SICK AND TWISTED

400 years after conflict, the peace treaty was signed between fae and humans. Wild Rose Castle is now left in ruins; the rumors say it is haunted. The diurnal fae casted a spell on Wild Rose to keep humans away.

HUH???? LILIA FOUND BABY SILVER IN THE ABANDONED WILD ROSE CASTLE?????

Uhhh so apparently after the war we saw, another conflict broke out for territory and the Silver Owls got their asses handed to them.

LILIA UNIQUE MAGIC REVEAL... HE CAN READ THE MEMORIES OF THINGS HE TOUCHES????? (Reminds me of "Dimensional Scream" from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of TIme/Darkness/Sky!) "Far Cry Cradle" is the name! We also get the chant: "As if it were a day. Everywhere I go, it will be in a blink of an eye."

BABY SILVER?????

Silver was magically put to sleep for hundreds of years by some small (guardian) fairies?!?!?!?!?!?!? Because conflicts were still going on and his parents wished for him to live in a world free of war. When Silver meets someone who "loves" him, he will wake up from his magic-induced slumber. NOW THE BABY IS AWAKE AND CRYING

... Wait. Doesn't that mean. Silver is technically older than Malleus... since Malleus is only 178 years old and Silver's been sleeping for like 400 years????? OTL SILVER OLD MAN ERA??????

NOT (PAST) LILIA BEING TSUNDERE, he says he thinks the guardian fairies' magic is fading with time... he doesn't even consider that he'd ever love the baby...

"I'm not someone who deserves your love" - Silver, casually cuing all of our tears

Silver's hair was originally blonde; It became silver when he received a fairy's blessing (Lilia's). LILIA SAYS "May the Night bless you" and says that the day he found Silver is his new birthday. So the Dawn Knight has gold hair because it's blessed by a diurnal fae, but with silver hair like moonlight, Silver won't stand out in Briar Valley.

I CAN'T WITH LILIA, SILVER SAYS HE WAS NAMED THAT BECAUSE OF HIS HAIR COLOR IN A BIRTHDAY VIGNETTE... Yet here we see Lilia actually named him Silver as in silver moonlight to guide people in the darkness...

"Even if I have to give up my own life, I want to protect my child", that's a sentiment that both Lilia's princess and the Dawn Knight expressed. I think this kind of thinking probably helped Lilia put everything into perspective and better understand that humans and fae are actually very similar.

SILVER/LILIA HOME REVEAL, we're seeing some point later in time but before present day when Lilia is still raising baby Silver.

Lilia is singing the same lullaby as what Meleanor sang for Malleus in the egg!! Malleus pays them a visit and still doesn't really seem to understand humans (HE SAYS SILVER LIKE A MONKEY????) but also helps watch baby Silver... He even hums his mom's lullaby for Silver, but cannot seem to remember where he heard the song before.

It's so weird thinking about how fae take 30 YEARS TO LEARN HOW TO WALK... What do you do for those 30 years, just lie on your back????? OTL

LILIA READS SILVER BEDTIME STORIES

Oh, Lilia's understanding humans and fae a little better (around the time Silver starts to eat pureed foods). Both human and fae babies cry and sleep, etc. BHFABIYFVQIQEFL hE'S FEEDING SILVER RAT MEAT???????? Malleus has to have the castle prepare baby food for them...

WAHHHHH THAT ACRON BRACELET LILIA TREASURES IS SOMETHING KID!SILVER MADE FOR HIM... Squirrels helped him gather the acorns and woodpeckers helped him string the acorns together. The acorn amulet is meant to bring Lilia a long, healthy, and happy life (something Silver was told by forest fae). Even as a kid... Silver was hoping for Lilia's health... and now that I think about it, the acorn amulet is like a representation of Lilia's own deteriorating health over time... OTL

"I feel like I can live a thousand years with this (amulet)..." LILIA EVEN KEPT IT ALL THIS TIME AND CALLS IT HIS MOST PRECIOUS BELONGING... shUT UP, SHUT UP IM CRYING

ASKHBLIDIBIFIA WE'RE SEEING THE RAINING SCENE LILIA TOLD US ABOUT IN ONE OF HIS BIRTHDAY VIGNETTES???!?!?!?!????!? It's the day Silver realized he and Lilia aren't related by blood...

God, there are so many of the map portions... This time, Sebek is the required character!

The rest of the gang are transported to the darkness where Silver is wallowing?? Sebek sees some of his own memories which intertwin with Silver's (since Baul sometimes took bare of Silver or visited Lilia). It's also confirmed that Lilia went to Sebek's dad to ask for advice on how to raise Silver.

Back then, Baul asked Lilia to train Sebek since he's part human (and therefore "weak" in Baul's eyes). However, Baul still values his grandson and wants him to have a good education 🥺 (Sebek's older brother also graduated from NRC??)

Lilia tore up his invitation to NRC???? But it was his friend Raverne who came to him with the invitation pieced back together and kept it safe for the future in case Lilia reconsidered. It seems like Raverne really is a diplomat; he stresses the importance of humans coming to understand fae + vice versa, and how it's things like learning a common language that can help bridge these gaps.

Lilia confirms that Raverne must have "become a star" by now BUT UNTIL I SEE A CORPSE I'M NOT BELIEVING IT

Sebek's trying to get through to Silver, who's slowly being swallowed by the darkness... HE UNVEILS HIS UM, "Living Bolt"!! "Thrust through the clouds, o' lightning!" It seems to summon a powerful strike of lightning, but I'm not entirely sure what it does because the visuals of the game are a little confusing??? (Like it shows a white silhouette of Sebek moving around, so it makes me think he can... control the lightning??? Or he... becomes lightning itself to move around??? DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT.) Sebek says he hasn't mastered it yet so maybe even he doesn't know what it can do.

With Sebek's UM, he's able to snap Silver out of it!

THE GIRLIES ARE FIGHTING... There's literally a battle between Silver and Sebek, which resolves with Sebek smacking some sense into Silver. Sebek calls him an idiot and tells him to stop saying he isn't loved, because it's rude of Silver to be this weak when Lilia raised him to be strong (ie "IT'S AN INSULT TO LILIA-SAMA", "IF HE SAW YOU BEING THIS PATHETIC HE'D BE SAD", etc). Way to go with your words of encouragement... 100/10 motivational speaker, Sebek.

Silver realizes that he has had Lilia's love and support all this time... "It's true love", Silver says. The true love that his guardian fairies said would wake him from his sleep... 😭I really appreciate how it was Silver who first snapped Sebek out of his dream-induced despair, and now Sebek is doing the same for Silver.

WAIT THAT'S IT?????? THAT'S THE UPDATE???? ?? ??? ? ????????? 🤡 TWST really said, "I'm coming for everyone's throat and I'm taking no prisoners" AND THEN DIPPED ON US AFTER DROPPING SO MANY BOMBSHELLS... This is just the fate of every book 7 main story update now, isn't it???!??????!?

asidoavyfqevofb I know a ton of really exciting and shocking reveals happened this time around, but while my mind is still racing to process everything... the one thing that sticks out to me is "Ace is the only one without a UM now". IT'S SO FUNNY HOW HE THOUGHT HE'D GET HIS UM BEFORE DEUCE BUT HE ACTUALLY ENDS UP BEING THE LAST OF THE ENTIRE MAIN CAST TO GET IT................. .. . . . .. ....... .. .. . .. ... . . . .. THERE IS SOME CRUEL, SICK IRONY HERE.

I pretty much said all my other thoughts as they cropped up along with the corresponding story beats!! But overall, I loved learning more about the characters and their shared history. Part 5 confirmed many theories, such as the Dawn Knight being related to Silver (and not his ancestor, but rather his actual dad), Silver being put under a sleeping curse that requires true love to break, how Lilia came to raise Silver, etc. It also recontexualizes lore we already knew, such as how Silver got his name, the Zigvolt family's involvement with Lilia, and how Lilia changed from his old self to his current self.

khbhasdsbkuavuofafabf I ALSO CAN'T BELIEVE LILIA X MALLEMOM IS A THING, THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST SHOCKING REVEALS THIS ENTIRE UPDATE😭 All this time we were joking about Lilia x Mrs. Spade... turns out, Lilia was into someone else's mom... HE'S JUST INTO MOMS, I'M CALLING IT NOW/j

I'm surprised that we didn't get to catch up with the Shroud brothers whatsoever this time??? Not a single peep about Ortho (who has 'woken up and is actively working to help everyone) or even Idia (who is still stuck dreaming)... I really hope the next update addresses how Ignihyde is faring, cuz I miss them and want to know how they contribute to saving the day!!

As book 7 progresses, it progressively calls the image of a spinning wheel into my mind... This is the case especially for the flashback segments we see, which shows us how the various members of Diasomnia are related to each other, and, by extension, their other family members. Lilia is raising Silver, the baby of an old foe. Malleus is visiting Lilia, who is implied to have helped hatch him after his parents died and/or went missing. Lilia asks Sebek's dad for help raising Silver. Baul asks Lilia to help mentor his grandson, Sebek. It really harkens back to the "individually, we're threads on a spinning wheel, but we come together to make something far stronger" line that Lilia dropped at the end of book 6, proving that the spinning wheel and the threads of Fate within it are an important motif for book 7 🥺

I'm fine.

This is fine.

It's not fine

[iridescentdove]

Hey hey!! Can I request a Nikolai and fyodor (separate) x reader who’s really into photography and takes a lot of photos of them! Then gets super embarrassed if they catch them?

Nikolai & Fyodor x Photographer! Reader

The serene sound of a camera clicking as you relish in the peaceful autumn breeze. It was quiet, and calm – just as you always liked it. The scene was beautiful.

There was nothing better than you, your beloved, and your precious camera as you took photos under the warm sun.

NIKOLAI GOGOL:

For quite a while now, Nikolai has been seeing you with your precious phone or camera all the time. He hasn't seen you without it nowadays.

Well, it sparked his curiosity – but he did know you had a knack for these kind of things now.

And honestly, he really likes your shots! It's always taken beautifully and the photo is clear as day. Most of the time you don't really show him, but special occassions you do.

You took a little photo of a bird eating once!

Nikolai was ecstatic when looking through them. There's a small sparkle in his eyes no one would have ever seen.

The fluffy, rare white birdies that flock around as you fed them. He loves it. Jing Yuan??

One day, you both decided to have a picnic. Just for fun, and to value the precious time you guys had while still free. Lots of snacks and ice cream!

Of course, pictures. You took lots of them. From the birds in the sky to the food you had made yourself.

Although they were beautiful, nothing compares to Nikolai.

The soft, golden glow around his body – the sun making his features similar to that of an angels. Oh! How handsome he is. The genuine, warm smile on his face blooming in joy.

You were at a loss for words. He was just too pretty to be true. All you could do...was raise your camera.

Well, you did try to be sneaky. Try.

Seeing him staring at the vast blue of the sky was a perfect angle in all honesty. But he looked the moment you took it.

And i now present to you, a teasing Nikolai.

He is downright DISRESPECTFUL when it comes to being a teasing, pretty boy of a lad like him. He stares at you with a glint of his green eyes, and you were dead right then since.

"Oh! Does my sweet birdy find me a photograph-worthy sight? Hm~?" He inches closer, face full of mischief.

You're just...flaming red. He's not even flirting man, that's overrated. Dazai crying in the corner

Although he does pester you to show him the glorious photo, you do so either way. And both of you enjoy looking at them all, smiles on your faces.

Since irl he's inspired by a writer, i headcanon he points to each photo and creates a small little story for it <3 cute!

And for the meme worthy photos...

Let's just say both of your stomachs hurt for laughing so much at his jokes. Uses random Gen Z humor he learned

"The bird shat respectfully. The manz was too stunned to speak, poo-poo on his rizz-worthy head."

In other words, it was a successful picnic ;)

FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY:

You'd never catch this mf off guard, EVER. It's so rare if you actually do, super incredibly rare.

Once in a blue moon.

But he appreciates it. Your love language is almost just sending him cute photos at this point, whether it be of you both or just him.

He's a hacker. I'd bet he hacks into your camera just to look at the shots himself bitch

Then again, you never fail to make his heart boom-boom. For a special occassion like his birthday or christmas, you'd prepare the gift wholeheartedly.

You'll print out the most prettiest photos of him you could find, and design it with aesthetic stickers and notes <3

It was the fanciest photo-card + letter he's ever seen.

Obviously rat, that's our gn kween (y/n)

And you may think he never appreciates it due to his calm and sadistic demeanor, but this man keeps it in his room and looks at it everyday with an actual genuine smile.

He'll never admit it, only when he probably feels romantic which is uh...let's countdown to 2738282 years /j

When you're just hanging out with him while he works, you just take photos for fun. His office may seem dark but your camera brings justice good phone? couldn't be me

But one particular time, you decided to attempt and be sneaky to take his photo.

The position he was in was perfect, so it was time.

You really thought you had it in the bag too. He just chuckles the moment you put the camera on him, and he turns around as you click.

You wanna strangle his ass <3

But oh hell, he's gonna be sly. Smirking at you all the while seeing your cute face turn completely red.

"милый, you seem to be enjoying yourself. Why not do a photo face-to-face?" He whispers, looking straight into your eyes as you nesrly die in fluster.

He's definitely having his fun teasing you, playing it out and making you look like a simp.

But the moment he stands up, fucking run

You're not making out of it alive the moment he gets his hands on that camera. He's merciless when it comes to teasing his bbg (ew /j)

Then again, at times he'll lie down with you peacefully, looking at the photos in silence.

He'll love every shot taken because it's you.

[georgies-ftts]

my genuine thoughts and reactions watching One Piece as someone who has never consumed a different piece of One Piece media before

spoilers… obviously…

Episode 1:

thick glaswegian accent straight away you’ve won me over

this guys moustache is immaculate kinda looks like every version of captain hook ever mushed into one

i recognise the scottish guy

random guy #374’s sideburns are… definitely there

slay drop a bomb before you’re executed horribly

cracker opening theme actually 9/10 should’ve been longer

fourth wall break?

nope he’s talking to a bird

okay funky trouser man you shout into the abyss

this birds got better drip than me

‘Mutiny’ funny actually

he’s not having a good time

what the actual fuck is that ship

aldiva? love of my life?

Koby needs a fresh trim… probably… idk

love me some cheeky windmills

i recognise red hair hat man too

that kids fully gonna die

luffy is fuckin nuts

is he eating… raw??? steak???

australian pink haired harrypotter is about to shit himself

dudes about to get his shit rocked

funky hat man??? is fucking??? elastic

rope burn doesn’t exist in this universe

elastic head is genuinely fuckin horrific

but also slay

think i’m gonna like depressed green hair man

Mr 7 is wearing two ruffs….

‘My favourite is number 1’ fuck him up emotionally i like it

and then fuck him physically this is going grand actually

sword fights that are choreographed immaculately and with fluid camera movements truly do hold a very special place in my heart

oh wait is the luffy kid funky straw hat man

“your mug” yes get that slang in there

wait but luffy has a steady american accent with no twangs

purple orb i’d eat it

oh so would he apparently

what the fuck it’s green

who the fuck is red haired hat man i can’t be bothered to pull up imdb

don’t kill shanks he treats the bar staff with respect

he was in ‘fresh meat’ i found him

he’s so gonna die

i’d slap man bun guy so fuckin hard

luffy needs to like… have a nap or something

woah luffy straight in there with the insults

he had a munch and now he’s a bit bendy

now i recognise koby jesus christ

didn’t need to slap the poor guy jesus

koby is cute i like them

ginger woman floating in the sea

“sweetheart” fucking get rid of them

is she gonna fuck em up

slay queen found a new love of my life and she’s wearing funky socks

‘where’s my face?’ bruvva i could squish your cheeks like a toddler that wall is not for you

it’s green haired sword guy love him

“one for my friend” dude that is a body. in a sack.

it’s ginger sock girl, marry me

blonde british man is gonna catch these fists, sir that is a child leave her alone

lucious malfoy looking ass

yes Zoro (the subtitles are the only reason i know what’s goi-)

did he just eat that off the floor.

blonde british man is fucking terrifying

another sword fight???????

kolby you are me actually

fuck them up fuck them up fuck them up

i’m a lesbian but i do think green haired man just turned me bisexual

“my father” jesus fuckin christ they hired draco malfoy

like the rum???

jesus christ daddy’s boy needs a fuckin gag or some shit

i want Zoro’s earrings please

why does this man have a metal plate bolted into his face

“where does it even go” i think you know

koby realising not everything that’s made out to be ‘good’ is always good slay, we love a little bit of depth

i love a cgi sewer pipe

jesus chrrriiiiiiist draco malfoy is back

kick him in the balls

“when i get down” dude you are literally half on the floor already….

my wife ginger socks girl is back everything is good

she’s gone again, devastated

luffy kinda has the percy jackson cockiness yknow?

luffy 10/10 would do a phycology gcse

fucking english bastards ruining everything

it’s fine she fucked em up again

what is the grand line may i ask

her eyes are stunning

i think she just shat herself

draco malfoy needs to go what the-

that’s his bare arse

chop his dick off

please

i beg you

i think luffy just wants some friends

she’s a pickpocket too holy fuck-

“i’m never joining” yuh huh sure

why’s she searching the papers on the desk surely they would be in a draw or some shit or like a secret message or something

win for luffy

153rd marines really doesn’t sound all that threatening

so he’s like… hench as fuck too?

protect the hat luffy as you should

green haired man’s just pitched up c’mon

slay, literally and figuratively

is he wearing zebra trousers?

not where i thought the sword went…

yeaaahhh fuck him up

that kick was fucking immaculate

so green man is also fuckin hench???

oi listen to the queen

HA MALFOYS HAIR REMINDS ME OF MY WEIRD BARBIE

zoro smiled that’s it life is good

KOBY MY SON

koby no don’t

okay koby you slay love you

you keep them massive fuck off glasses safe

do they meet again? please tell my they meet again and they both live and are happy i will cry-

ooo action music my favourite kind of tv music

what the fuck is that snail and why is it also a phone

SCOTTISH MAN IS BACK

they took your mum actually

a pirate in a straw hat who’s skin is made of rubber thankyou

ooo new emo green haired man

they infact we’re not planning anything ever

that’s that one guy from agents of shield

jesus he’s fuckin creepy

oh that’s terrifying actually

FUCKIN TUNE

[colleybrifanfics]

Imagine a divergent universe, where Cassian Andor never met two bullies on Morlana 1.

He’s not the man he should be.

Jyn Erso, dedicated Rebel in the face of an impossible fight with a triumphant Empire, comes to Ferrix one morning to buy stolen parts. Cassian is very much… his old self.

NSFW below the cut. Smut with a distinctly wistful flavour.

Ferrix, Imperial Era 24

As the glow of dawn makes a rare appearance low on the horizon a flock of five steelpeckers flap over, low and squawking, heading from the main salyards to their daytime roosting sites in the surrounding hills. He tenses a little, instinctively, and hurries under the awning at Gueti’s. One of these birds had shat on him once, and clothes were basically unsalvageable after that. He isn’t ready to give up on this coat yet, not after all these years.

He doesn’t go off-world much these days as the risks are so high, but he does remember a few planets with … nicer birds. Birds that made pleasant noises to greet the day, a chorus of joy at a new beginning rather those guttural cries that put in mind a Corellian hound being throttled. He can't remember the morning songs of the birds of Kenari, though, and supposes he never really noticed.

He selects an outdoor table with a nearby heater, greets Gueti and orders caf and pistachio cake. Then, oh so casually, he places a little iron bowl on the table and pulls out the datapad from his large bag. The Time Grappler marks Start of Day but his, and Gueti’s, and his buyer’s (whoever they may be) has already started.

So. Something to read while he waits.

How many have died recently?

He rarely dwells on the news these days. It’s so hard to know what is the truth anymore. But illicit stations, broadcasting from ships flying under flags of convenience or from all-out pirate vessels, still pop up every few months before being shut down, and manage sometimes to broadcast text updates too. His datapad is ancient and he can’t afford the latest software update, but it doesn’t matter - these guys use old tech and the ‘dark’ holonet, whatever that is. He still likes old tech. He stares at the silently unfolding letters, telling the same familiar story. Another several-billion lives destroyed in a heartbeat. Apparently, a rebel cell had been located on this outer-rim world, a planet he had never even heard of - and that fact didn’t matter one bit because it didn’t exist anymore anyway.

Peace is, according to the official version, being kept. According to the unofficial version, Palpatine is simply wiping out any signs of resistance. He sighs. You think they would have learned their lesson by now, those rebels. How utterly pointless it was to fight back. It’s so much better to live. To eat, to sleep.

He is vaguely thankful, in a passing thought that commonly comes his way, that Ferrix has stayed relatively unscathed all this time. It’s a well-behaved community. Heads down, continuing as they always have to exploit those with money, whatever the design of their flag or logo.

His buyer is late. Still, he doesn’t mind. It means more time to enjoy the small pleasures of an early morning. He lights a cigarette - the iron bowl serving as an ashtray. It’s good cover for its presence, but he wants to smoke anyway. Since giving up the drink, told at last flat-out first by the doctor and then, more convincingly, by Brasso that it would be the death of him if he didn’t, he had felt.. hmm, rebellious … enough to take up another vice. Death-sticks had no appeal even for a risk-taker like him and the last thing he needed was more mental stimulation. Just something to make the days seem… a little more pleasant, in some indefinable way.

“Hello. Is this seat free?” The voice is from behind him and belongs to a human woman, with a clipped Core worlds accent, and obviously she is a small individual as he had not heard her approach over the sounds of the waking town.

He turns and takes her in fully. She is in Pre-Mor uniform, but of course that can mean very little and there’s something about the way she wears it just a bit… too well that makes him immediately positive that she isn’t Pre-Mor. No matter. As long as she has his money, he really doesn’t care.

She’s looking at him very directly, with pale grey-green eyes. She’s attractive. Definitely. He’s probably spending a beat too long looking at her as her eyes now dart quickly to the table - the little iron bowl there - and he realises she’s waiting for confirmation. He gives it with a little wave and she sits. Gueti is over in an instant and she orders caf but nothing to eat.

He sees her eyeing the cigarette. “Would you like one?” he asks.

She grimaces. “No, I hate the smell. Thank you, though.” She says this forcefully enough to compel him to hold the cigarette down and behind his stool so that the fumes don’t bother her. She’s intriguing him already. She doesn’t really look like a rebel. But he is immediately of the belief that that is what she is and wonders if she will realise that he suspects.

Negotiations begin. He’s so used to this now, it’s almost second nature. He's employing a favourite tactic today: try to bump up the price agreed remotely by introducing another unexpected piece as a bonus. The buyer would then sometimes think they were getting a bargain, without the time to research the actual value of said piece. But he knows not to push either the price or the deception too high. He likes repeat customers.

Repeat customers. She is talking now about how the masking transponder he has produced from the bag isn’t the exact model stated in their communications, and he’s telling her that it’s superior. He’s talking on autopilot, practically. A good part of his concentration is leaping ahead twenty minutes or so, to the time when he estimates that they will finish their business in a mutually agreeable way. He is thinking about how he might persuade her to delay her departure.

Because she is very attractive. And the problem with getting repeat customers on Ferrix these days is that … the women who live here all know him. Either directly or by reputation.

Off-worlders were a happier hunting ground these days. With them, he could very often rely on his old methods. Which basically consisted of throwing out the net and seeing if the object of his desire wanted to swim into it. He knew how good he looked, despite the signs of his past indulgences. He didn’t see it as vanity, just as a simple fact - evidenced by the way that the lamest of pickup lines would almost always result in… a pickup. Experimentally, he had even once tried the simple “I’m free if you are...?” - and had scored a pretty much instant success.

He realises soon enough that he should have put a little more thought into this, but then he wasn’t prepared for this particular buyer.

All he can manage, as they stand up, salvaged or stolen parts and credits exchanged, is “Would you like to stay a little longer and…”. He realises his error immediately, as her gaze goes from his face to his hand, where it had been making a vague waving gesture at the dusty street that seemed to suggest that the sentence might finish with ‘…let me show you the sights of Ferrix’, and then back to his face with a dawning expression of incredulous and derisive mirth.

Her laugh is loud enough to draw a glance from Gueti over at the counter.

“That’s actually hilarious. I was warned about you, y’know, by my contact before she gave me the rendezvous details. I thought you were going to be a real Loth-wolf. But this? Is this the best you’ve got?”

Stung but helpless and still hoping, despite these less than auspicious signs, all he can do is smile. Sometimes that would work. In fact, most things would work on off-world women. Again, he really wasn’t used to making much of an effort with them. He wasn’t very good at conversation. Perhaps he should just be frank.

“I just thought.. you might like a little fun. You know. If you want to, we can go…”

“Oh wow, you really don’t know when to stop, do you!” But her smile is now wide and genuine, and he still goes on hoping. He doesn’t mind being humiliated if a payoff may yet come his way.

At this most bizarre but strangely captivating impasse they continue to regard each other levelly. Finally, she tilts her head a little to one side and she subjects the full length of his body to a long, sweeping stare, as if assessing the visual condition of a speeder before deciding whether it is worth a test drive.

(Cont below - NSFW. )

“OK,” she says contemplatively, with a smile that reveals another glimpse of her prominent overbite. It’s… very cute. “Why not?”

He does have a very lovely smile, she thinks. And it had been clear that Caleen had feelings for him, despite the lighthearted warning. An intelligent being, especially a female, can often sense the painful truth behind the outward nonchalance. He was obviously an ex who she still cared about, despite everything.

But besides all that… she knows what she likes, and knows what she wants. Right now, what she wants is this slightly-built man with the unusual accent, the long jawline under a short beard and those big brown eyes that are somehow knowing, cynical and childlike all at once.

He is very, very attractive. And she has plenty of time today.

They attract a few knowing stares on the short walk to his place, but he doesn’t care, and he knows the starers don’t either. He’s gone home with a few Pre-Mor employees before. Some of whom turn a blind eye to his activities for that very reason.

They are upon each other even before the door slides completely shut, and her kisses taste so very good. She allows him to take her all at once and greedily, perhaps sensing that once this initial hunger is sated he will be more measured and considerate of her needs too. Maybe. He can’t think that far ahead. He can barely think at all. All his blood and energy seems to divert to his groin and he feels the familiar but still so delicious burning. He doesn’t even take his clothes off, bar the coat, concentrating on her tight-fitting uniform instead, featuring belt, buttons and zipped trousers that are not hastily shed. Panting, she tries to help him but her fingers get in the way of his, bringing a few snorts of laughter from them both. So she switches to unbelting and unzipping him instead, freeing the cause of that promising bulge that she had noticed from that first sweeping visual inspection. Finally, in frustration, he yanks her trousers and her panties to her mid thighs and she allows herself to be pushed back onto the bed. He follows and is delighted to find her so ready, absolutely sopping, her body belying that slightly demure expression on her face that he has adored for the last - hour?! - since he has met her.

He cradles her face with one hand as he pushes at her and she nips at his fingers with those cute teeth as he enters her fully, trying her out for size.

She breaks off from nibbling and fixes him with a frank gaze. “So,” she says conversationally, “what should I call you?”

He has almost forgotten that they didn’t know each other’s names. And here he is, buried deep and hard inside her. It does seem a little rude. For a second, distracted as he is by his lust he considers giving her his real name. But no, that wasn’t how this worked. “Keef,” he says after a little hesitation.

She smiles, as she knows that’s not his name, but he has answered the question truthfully enough. “Lyra,” she says immediately, before he even thinks to ask. He then vaguely wonders if, like himself, she has chosen the name of a real person of some significance to her life.

He finds himself frozen for a moment, despite the nagging from his nether regions to just get on with it already!. The past, always frighteningly close in moments of emotional vulnerability, lurks just outside his consciousness. Previously, he could drink it away.

“Come on then, Keef”, she growls with sarcastic relish, emphasising the F sound somewhat derisively. “Show me if the man lives up to the notoriety. Fffffuck me, Keefff...” and she blows the imperative and the false name into his lust-anguished face with those two long puffs of fricative breath.

Already thinking ahead to the next course, which might well involve that intriguing mouth of hers, he gets to work as instructed and she matches him, effortlessly.

***

They rest eventually, after over an hour of frenzied and gloriously messy sex. He wonders anew at the human female's ability to just… keep on climaxing, but decides again that he isn’t envious: if pleasure came that easily and frequently to someone like himself he doubts he’d ever do anything else remotely productive. It’s almost too much effort to light a cigarette, but it does really help to enhance the afterglow. She hadn’t seemed to mind the taste of him. It was a high quality tabac.

Very much to his surprise, she asks him for one. “I thought you didn’t,” he says.

“I don’t,” she replies. “Except after sex.”

“And how often is that?”

“I’m not telling you about my personal life.” But she smirks at him as he holds the lighter for her and she puffs the first little drag into his face coquettishly.

She is, quite frankly and once again, adorable. He wishes she could stay longer. Despite his reputation, he really dislikes one-night stands. Or one-day stands: whatever. There’s not enough time to get to know exactly what works for each other. Not enough time for getting to know each other. Just… not enough time.

Yes, there was definitely such a thing, with his relationships, as not enough time. But there was such a thing as too much time as well, of course. Bix knew all about that. Commitment. No matter how many times they tried it again, it seemed that he was never actually willing or able to give her what she really wanted. Perhaps that was sad. They had been so good together, when it worked. She was so good to him, even now. So good for him. Still, she had her life and that idiot of a husband and her cute children - and she seemed to be happy.

Switching his thoughts to the woman here now, as there's never any point in dwelling on the past, he calculates quickly - as he is still mostly as sharp and perceptive as he ever was - that “Lyra” doesn’t actually have sex that often. Or rather, that she doesn’t have regular sex with the same person. There’s something in her manner, her hunger, her eagerness to please him and to please herself that tells him that she is unattached. He feels even more certain now that she is a true-believer Rebel, despite her accent, and that her mere presence here was exceptionally dangerous, to him and possibly to the entirety of Ferrix, commercially valued though it was. No planet was ever, really, safe.

No. Rebels didn’t do long term relationships either, and in that respect he knew she was like him. Rebels put the cause first, always. They didn’t want to risk heartbreak. He snorts a little, cynically. So he does have something in common with them after all, albeit for a completely different reason.

An unpleasant thought threatens to cross his mind then but he quickly dismisses it, distracting himself with a long pull at his cigarette. They are sitting up in bed, the blanket covering them in a surprisingly modest-looking fashion. He thinks anew how nice it is to be sharing a bed when all they are doing are relishing what has been and looking forward to what is to come.

This in-between time… could possibly be his favourite part of a sexual encounter. Well, OK - but...top-three, anyway. Time to digest. Time to contemplate. Time to savour.

They could even be a married couple, he thinks, this silence between them is so comfortable.

She breaks it then, a child with a naughty joke. “Question: do you smoke after sex? Answer: I don’t know, I’ve never looked.” And she giggles.

As is often the case with jokes involving double meanings, as this is still ultimately a foreign language for him, he doesn’t get it.

Frustrated, but amused, she attempts to explain and finally ends up with - “You know - from the friction?!”

He gets it then, but as is always the way the joke is lost by this stage so instead of laughing he quizzically raises his eyebrows and suggests that after their next bout - they should look.

She finds that hysterical, apparently, and he finds her even more adorable.

***

They don’t, literally, smoke but he feels it’s a close run thing. By mutual agreement, they take turns to cool down any possibly overheating areas with their mouths, just in case. And both agree, after a great deal of intensive research, that this process is very counter-productive.

***

They break for a meal in the mid-afternoon. He can see she’s impressed by his store cupboard, packed high with dried ingredients and flavourings from across the galaxy, some of it rare and expensive. While he fries up some leftovers from the conserver, she explores the little house. There’s another bedroom, with a small single bed, in the front and he tells her it was his childhood bedroom.

As he had known she would, she soon spots Bee on his pad. “Your droid. He doesn’t seem to be charging.”

Even now, he can’t help but feel a stab of pain at that, but he keeps his voice light. “I know. He can’t be charged anymore. Eventually, he needed a completely new battery, and they just don’t make them anymore and I couldn't find a secondhand one. I keep him… just in case I do ever find the right model.”

“But his files will be corrupted by then. Have you transferred his memory? You could at least talk with him. Put him in another droid chassis, even.”

“I haven’t.” He concentrates on frying, stirring the vegetables and now adding the beaten fiejuc eggs. He has also just added Durmic spice so knows he can blame that for any dampness in his eyes that might come with his next words. “I made the choice not to. When my mother died, he was inconsolable. He couldn’t understand what death was. I could have had his memory wiped then, I suppose, but … he wouldn’t have been him anymore. His name was Bee. Is. I just … keep him there, in case…”

She has appeared at his side and he realises that while the Durmic might explain his wet eyes it doesn’t disguise the catch in his voice. He glances sideways at her, smiles slightly and sheepishly. He feels her arm around his waist then and her hug is one of comfort rather than desire, and it feels just as good somehow.

And he realises then that this is what he has really missed.

After this moment, and after the shared meal, things are different between them. Different in a good way. He realises later that they had moved forward with the liaison to the same stage that would normally take a week or so in his other casual relationships. There is a tenderness between them now. They talk. On light subjects, but they find common interests. It’s like a kind of cautious dance around the perimeters of each other.

And it’s all so good, and sweet, and delicious and somehow… medicinal. And hot.

It ends, as they had known it must. She needs to take the shuttle ferry out to the commercial port for her evening flight back to - wherever it was.

He wonders, as he watches her retreating form in the fading daylight, if he should call out after her, or tell her his real name. He decides not to. Perhaps she would decide to come again. If she lived that long. He feels a sudden and genuine chill that she will not.

He feels the pain anew then, and something of the old anger. The Empire. They had taken so much. Lives, chances, time.

He even wonders if he should join the Rebels, even at this stage. Belong, in some way, have a purpose, even if it is a short lived one.

Maybe one day. Then again, perhaps not. It is surely better to … live. To eat, to sleep. To do what you want.

He watches her until her retreating figure fades into the failing light.

Steelpeckers are nocturnal. Their dawn comes with the setting of the sun. Day shift; night shift. A flock of five fly over now, low, squawking raucously. Perhaps the same five from that morning - it is impossible to tell. The chimes for End of Day join their chorus as he stands there still, framed in the open doorway, looking, but with nothing to see.

From chapter 2.

[lichfucker]

For the WIP folder game: Brain Damage in D Minor, and In Vera? 👀

ooh this is fun because these are both me taking the plot of a movie I like and then applying it to The Blorbos, but in completely opposite directions

brain damage in d minor is a black sails fic based on music and lyrics (2007) which is my favorite rom-com of all time. flint is a washed-up jaded has-been who was in a boy band in the '00s until he got outed and his boyfriend died and now he's 45 and he has no friends and no career and he can't write a new song to save his g-ddamn life. silver is the guy flint hires to water his plants and he just so happens to be an uncannily good lyricist.

it's silly, it's dumb, it's fun. "brain damage in d minor" is a placeholder title and I'm very afraid it will stick. I keep putting off working on this fic because I'm an insane person and I know that I'm going to want to actually write and record all the music.

I've only written two scenes—the opening and the morning after flint and silver hook up for the first time. last time this meme went around I posted like 3/4 of the opening scene lmao so here's a few lines from the other one:

"Here,” Flint says, offering Silver the mug. “I made you some coffee. Whole milk and four sugars, just how you like it.” The mug nearly scalds Silver’s skin when he takes it. Why is Flint kneeling so close? “I actually prefer it with three sugars,” Silver says, “but thank you. That’s—You didn’t have to.” “You order it with three sugars,” Flint says. “Then, when you think no one’s looking, you add a fourth. And I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to.” For all the talk of sugar, it’s Flint who’s sickly sweet right now: the sweet crinkle of his eyes, the sweet curl of his lip. Silver hides a nervous swallow beneath a mouthful of coffee—fucking hell, it tastes perfect. Flint shouldn’t know how to make Silver’s perfect cup of coffee. Gun to his head, Silver couldn’t make Flint’s perfect cup of tea; why the fuck does Flint know how to make Silver’s perfect cup of coffee?

in vera is the piece I am most actively working on right now! it's a fic for the fetch phillips archives series and it's based on in bruges (2008). there's a flashback in the first book in the series, wherein fetch has an uncomfortable incident with his mentor, then gets sent on a forced vacation to a city called vera so they can get away from each other for a little while. fetch then goes on a bender in vera, meets a general from an opposing army, and defects. shortly after fetch joins the army a big world-changing event happens and his former mentor dies.

this is a canon divergence au wherein fetch gets recaptured by his original organization after defecting to the army but before the world-changing event happens. he's sent on yet another forced vacation to vera, this time with his mentor, and. well. let's just say it's going very badly and will certainly get worse!

I'm working on chapter four right now but here's a little snippet from chapter one for you:

The streets spread out from the city center like a spiderweb, and Fetch is a helpless insect scuttling across the strands, trapped and unsafe. And Hendricks, for all his comfort and bravado, owning every cobblestone he steps on, may very well be the spider. As they meander toward the inn Hendricks booked, Fetch looks for any familiar landmarks from his first trip here. This is the corner where I puked up three glasses of burnt milkwood and half a turkey leg. This is the street where I nearly got run over by a newsboy on a bicycle. This is the bench where I fell asleep and got shat on by a bird. This is the shop where I spent twenty minutes trying to remember the Elvish word for “toilet” before I found out that it’s pronounced completely differently in the Veran dialect. Or was it over there? No, wait, it was a few blocks south. I don’t know. These buildings all look the fucking same. Most of the memories are obscured beneath a thick haze of stress and booze and grief. Primarily booze. They come back to Fetch in little flashes; they aren’t worth remembering once they do. Every façade of rough white rock broken by silvered doors like shards of mirror set into the stone: he keeps catching his reflection as he passes, and it always comes back warped. Stretched and bowed and grotesque. He doesn’t look Human anymore. Or maybe this hunched and hulking creature is the most Human he’s ever been. It’s not as though he can leave his humanity behind. It’s tattooed onto his fucking arm.

ty iz my beloved 💛💛💛💛💛💛

[laissezferre]

notes on a fic

ok so i don't usually do this. however i wanted there to be a place where i could put all the easter eggs in @vandrawsing and i's reverse bang collab just for my own benefit. under the cut are references, allusions, comments, and general notes on Francis and the Frog Prince. (best viewed on desktop in my blog theme)

chapter 1

Once upon a time in a swamp in the forest, there lived a frog named James. Not Hops or Croak or anything more suited to a frog, no; this particular frog believed in a great many things, the greatest of which was that how one seemed was infinitely more important than how one was. -- reference to The Hobbit. "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell... it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort."

“I don’t know, old boy,” said the duck named Duckdy. -- truly delighted how everyone seems to enjoy "duckdy". i thought it was too on the nose, but then just went ham in the end. i do what i want!

May Bear and Stars keep you safe; fare thee well!” -- if animals in the forest had a "god", i think it would be in the form of a bear

And with that, the bear-witch disappeared, as quickly as James’s sire had left after he was spawned. -- heh, fuck u lord gambier

“I put it to you that there is nothing as easy as being a prince. They go about their days wearing what they like, eating what they like—and all they need ever do is smile and then everyone will love them. Is that not the perfect life, Duckdy?" -- james dahling! he just wants to be loved!

“God’s teeth!” the rider exclaimed. “Is something wrong, master?” “I think a bird shat on my head.” -- i read some writing advice some time ago that a character's first delivered line must bear weight and say something about their character. this is francis and jopson's :D

He buried his wet nose into the warm wool, breathing in its pleasant, heady smell. So calm and pliant was he that when the satchel opened he had not noticed it at once. -- jeames likes how frauncis smells. it's very comforting for him!

“What in God’s name is happening here!” -- this is james' line in the show, but i gave it to francis as a kind of reciprocation

“By my troth, we are quite alone.” -- i looked up famous shakespeare quotes and i believe 'by my troth' came from much ado about nothing

The man was much older than his servant. His thin red hair had streaks of white at the temples. -- V and i discussed what francis' hair situation would be in this fic. and they said that they preferred to illustrate francis as a redhead with white streaks.

What sorcery is this? -- meme time!

“—must take it to the castle, surely. See if the physic can make head or tail of it. -- 'physic', shakespeare once again, from macbeth

Until that instance, James had not known that it was possible to be looked at but not seen—and James dearly loved being seen. -- episode 8, "a man like me will do amazing things to be seen".

chapter 2

James looked down at the rest of his body and saw himself clad in the finest clothes he had ever seen. -- james's clothes here were inspired directly by V's preliminary sketch during the claims phase of the bang

“How—what—who are you?” he demanded, and James, still reeling from boundless joy, could only say, “Why, I am beautiful!” -- from les mis, in the chapter where a grown up cosette looks in the mirror and realises that yeah she's hot

Once upon a time, in a kingdom called Fitzjames, there lived a prince named James. -- figured that a story within a story was the most efficient way for james to deliver his bullshit

With nothing but his royal dagger on hand and his loyal duck at his trail, Prince James left the castle under the cover of early dawn. -- actually a call-forward to chapter 4, when a heartbroken james leaves the castle under the cover of early dawn

“Cartography,” Jopson put in. “I am to be a royal cartographer—like Sir Francis.” -- i considered many occupations for francis here. scholar first, then an astronomer to be more specific, and then settled on cartographer bc this period had gorgeous maps.

They showed such a chart to James then, a draft map of the merchant isle of Sabine. -- y'all know sabine

Something of that must have moved Sir Francis, for he smiled and slowly blinked his eyes, like James had seen felines do. -- francis is described as having cat-like characteristics several times in the fic

Whatever James could think of, it would appear on himself the very next day — fitted doublets with leafy brocade, silky hoses in juno pink, stunning shoes of cattail leather. -- V was adamant that i vividly described all of james's clothes :D

“—miracle that he found the time, what with all the voyages he enlists in. I rather think he’s applied to the next one by now. We are all very glad for him, truly. And for you too as well, Your Highness. ‘True love’, ha! And at his age. Who knew?” -- this character was originally ned little, but after a bit more thinking i realised that nah ned wouldnt be this cringe

“Well, that is no trouble at all! You may take Francis’s instruction.” -- sophia has been matchmaking francis since time immemorial. what a good sport!

“Don’t leave,” James said, as feeble as a newborn bird. -- james and his abandonment issues, he is baby!

“Oh,” he croaked. He cleared his throat and looked away in embarrassment. “Well then—um—as you wish.” -- as you wish!!! from the princess bride

“You are a natural, my prince.” -- i assigned james a pet name for different people in his life. he is 'old boy' to duckdy, 'dear fellow' to sophia, and 'my prince' to francis.

“A bee,” Sir Francis said, lifting his hand so James might inspect it. “My family’s crest. Diligentia fortunae matrix, as we like to say. -- the bee is from the flag that the terror crew designed in 1840 for capt crozier. the flag's motto: diligentia fortunae matrix, or "success is born out of hard work".

“Be valiant, bold, and loyal. Be thou a knight in the name of the Bear!” -- actual words said during a knighting, "be thou a knight in the name of the king."

There were swords on the ceiling. And mirrors on the walls! And with each swirl of a lady’s skirt it seemed to multiply a hundred-fold in the hundred looking-glasses watching over the milieu. -- the mirrors and sword chandeliers (as illustrated by V) are the decorations aboard hms terror in the erebus and terror ball of 1841, hobart. "The mode adopted in lighting the supper room was inimitable, for, independent of numerous chandeliers formed of swords and cutlasses neatly fixed, holding hundreds of wax lights, there were arranged all round the sides numerous small mirrors, each containing two lights, which reflected double forming the most brilliant light that could possibly be conceived."

Just then, a churlish man with a forehead taking up half his face made his approach. -- i was not sure how to describe sebastian armesto so i brought up a picture of him and yeah, that was my first impression :D

James watched with fascination as Sir Francis placed a doting hand upon Evans’s shoulder, the boy looking up at him adoringly. -- "No ship's boys, Evans." "Sir, please." (pat) "You'll be with me."

“Ah, then it is my own company that pleases you!” “Yours and none other.” -- bruh i was blushing when i typed this up, i didnt think francis capable of flirting so well

James’s hair was plaited with green ribbon -- ribbons on the hair were part of medieval fashion, but for women. this was a way of calling back to "the dress".

“Your prince desires you—” he croaked— “to cease your flattery and dance with me instead.” -- a little slip from james's subconscious here. your prince desires you. period.

Now, there were many things about James that had ceased when he had become human, but one enduring quality was that he made up in perseverance what he might want in sense -- reference to irl james fitzjames's actual words about himself in a letter to john barrow, 1844

Oh, but he would leave His Majesty had he known that his regular trump was here! There is much we must speak of, Frank. -- letter from james clark ross to francis beaufort, 1841. "Crozier hopes to be held in your kind remembrance he is a regular trump."

James paced back and forth on the gravel path until his feet made a long furrow on the ground. -- i wanted to match this closely with the cairn scene, so yes i put them on a gravel path to match even the sounds.

“I’m a fake, an imposter; I’m a failure of a prince.” “I challenge anyone in court to tally up your virtues and then call you a fake... It only makes you a man.” “I didn't know any of that.” -- precisely

“That is the very issue, Francis. I am not.” “You are not—what are you not, James?” “A man!” -- missed opportunity for trans james, i know i know

He turned slowly towards Francis, every part of himself heavy with dread. Even the very sockets of his teeth ached. -- episode 8, "I'm tired all the time, no matter what the hour. And I'm bleeding out of the sockets of my teeth now."

chapter 3

James let out a groan and threw himself aggressively onto the nearest fainting bench. -- a reference to fainting couches from a later period. chairs with cushions weren't a thing yet in the middle ages, so fainting bench it is.

“How is it that you could draw me without having ever seen me?” “‘Tis very simple, of course. I had only to envision to myself what a perfect prince should look like, therefrom your face and form came to me in a dream.” -- i like to think this is how the real clements markham came to his idealised version of james fitzjames

“Aye, Prince James. They are to accompany you and provide other means of company should you be of the persuasion.” - george barrow you kinky fuck

“Good fortunes, Your Highness,” said Prince Hickey. -- an early hint of hickey's true identity. the real princes refer to james as 'prince james', as they are equal in rank, whilst hickey calls him 'your highness'.

“There are many things I wish to say to you, but now that I am in your presence I daren’t speak the words.” “Oh? Speak the words, Prince Hickey,” said James. “Of all I know in this world, and of this world I tell you, I doubt there is a gift on Earth that could still impress you. -- hickey interrogation scene, "Captain, I want to say something, but daren't speak the words." "Oh, speak the words, Mr.Hickey." "Of all I know in this world, and of this world I tell you, I I do not believe it is an animal we battle."

Instead pray accept this humble gift for your humble friend.” -- mofo had his eye on the prize all along!

He tried to show himself in good spirits, yet one glance from Francis reminded him that it was fruitless to misdirect one who knew him so well. -- episode 1, "I tell you, one glance from him I have to remind myself I'm not a fraud."

“May I see?” Francis said. “I might hurt you.” “I don’t mind.” -- "i'll take care of you." "it's rotten work." "not to me, not if it's you."

His eyes lingered on James’s crown, on the thin, milky substance that bled from the roots of his hair down to the back of his ears. - james's bloody, scurvy-ridden hairline but make it frog toxins

“The people there call it a steam bath,” Master Jopson had once said of a similar contraption. -- aka a turkish bath

“James, did anyone ever tell you that—um—that your tail was—an unusual size?” “What? No. Is it important?” “Not at all! Believe you me it is not the girth that counts but the way in which you wield it.” -- robin hood: men in tights, "This means you've always been my one true love because it's the right size!" "It's not the size that counts! It's how you use it!"

“Help me, Francis,” he begged. “Help me out of it.” -- reader, i was cackling! cackling, i tell you!

“Are you certain you can do that, James, hm? Are you certain?” -- the smut scene was supposed to be a dream sequence but V advocated that it be real, no regrets, 100% an improvement and waaay funnier than the original idea

A wild sound came from Francis then, a cross between a gasp and a kitten’s cry that punched out of him as he trembled. -- cat reference #2

One of his legs instantly shot out; Francis caught it deftly, then he pushed it back until both of James’s knees were sprawled at the waist. -- V had this idea of james's legs sprawled open bc it was the most comfortable position for him when he was a frog :D

He reached out and tugged at Francis’s shirtfront, pulling him down until only Francis’s hand was keeping their faces apart. -- if francis only put down his hand then they could've kissed and this story would have finished!

Francis heaved against his own hand, his breath streaming down onto James’s taut neck, like the cool touch of a spring wind, a fleeting caress. -- neck sensory overload but less euthanistic this time

Francis held James until the tremors waned, until his vision blurred, and a great, gentle peace descended. -- from goodsir's line in ep 1, idk why i appropriated it, "I have been there when souls have passed. A great peace descends."

James beamed lazily and pressed his nose back into the pillows. -- a callback to james smelling francis's hat. he just likes how he smells!

“Oh no, truly! Prithee stay there as long as you like, James. You are welcome at any time—” was what Francis had started to say, but James had only to extend his hand for Francis to quiet and come to him like a well-trained cat. -- cat reference #3

You are meant to be cherished, James -- an inversion from ep 1, "He is my second. Now, if something were to happen to me, you would be his second. You should cherish that man."

And I’m sure you believe as well that nothing else will do. -- from the failed proposal flashback, "That will not happen." "It must. Nothing else will do." "Well, then this will be the great tragedy of your life, Francis."

Please, take this compass as a wedding gift. -- look i'd just gotten a really nice compass replica from the royal museums greenwich and i really wanted to feature it in fic somehow

I never saw myself as a hero-knight, James -- oh you will honey

But I assumed then that for just one time I might have been—for you. -- ah for just ooonnee time, i will taaakkke the northwest passaaaagge

chapter 4

You see, in my struggle to compose a poem for you last night, I had left the taper ablaze. I am not harmed but for my eyebrows -- the real clements markham died from being overwhelmed by smoke when his bedclothes took fire from the candle while he was reading in bed

I am sure that Francis will not leave you wanting for too long. Fret not, he shall come upon it soon. He has had some practice after all.” -- savage sophia!

“Not long ago, Francis was the manner of a man who mourned every second on dry land... gone for months in the world’s most perilous corners, -- again from the failed proposal scene

When I heard that he was sending out his deputies to surveys instead of himself, I was more than impressed—I was relieved. For I knew that at last he had found a reason to stay, that reason being yourself of course... He would swing out in search of his stars... and neither I nor our offspring could ever convince him to simply stay. -- ww1 poet wilfred owen to siegfried sassoon, 1917, "You did not light me: I was always a mad comet; but you have fixed me. I spun round you a satellite for a month, but I shall swing out soon, a dark star in the orbit where you will blaze."

When James was but a mere frog, he had eaten something he ought not have. His belly had hurt for hours until he had spewed it out and rinsed its contents. -- i googled weird frog facts and simply had to put in this disturbing trivia

He reached out a trembling hand and picked off a spot of glue from the bottom of the cap, wherein an unseemly object had been attached. Francis’s very ring. -- like this

“My dear Prince James... I think you have made a horrible mistake.” -- reference to scene where sophia is crying as they wait to be let in to the naval meeting, "Oh, don't they know we can hear them? I have made a horrible mistake, Auntie."

Yet instead he was in his room, morbing the morning away. -- it's james's turn to morb! "I do know there hasn't been a single meal we've shared, a conversation when you weren't morbing on about what you're due."

A single tear ran down James’s cheek. -- baby...

“Avast that now, you fiend!” -- from ep 8, "Damn your eyes! It's your captain! Avast that now!"

In essence, Francis looked devilishly handsome. -- a parallel to james's transformation in chap 2, "In essence, James looked utterly princely."

“I’d seen the drawings—in the storybooks. Beanstalks. Giants. That sounded nice. -- reference to ep 10, "I'd seen the drawings in the weeklies. Oahu. Maui. That sounded nice."

I ain’t no fool. I’ve read all the stories -- a parallel to james's own false understanding of fairytales, "I am no fool. I have heard all the stories—I know how true love is found." james and hickey are both fascinated with stories yet they have vastly different take-aways from it which affect their life decisions.

this creature must be the magical goose in the fairytales, the one who lays golden eggs. -- i can't make hickey a villain-villain in my fics so i always resort to portraying him as having misconstrued something important and thus making mistakes bc of it. in my victorian detectives au, hickey mistakes francis as james fitzjames the detective, thereby abducting the wrong guy. in this au, he mistakes duckdy as the magical goose. i think it ties well with how in canon he misconstrues his own connection to the tunbaaq and assumes that he can tame it.

He paddled desperately away, creating enough distance for Francis and his horse to leap majestically in one big arc from the embankment to the water and come between them. -- hero-knight i tell you

And then you will bugger off, Master Hickey, lest the watchmen hear of your disrespect.” -- i didn't know what the police force was called in medieval times, so once again i looked up the useless guys in much ado about nothing

“Disrespect to who, eh?” “To James! Who remains the king’s guest. And to the king himself. -- again from hickey's interrogation, "Disrespect to who, sir?" "The girl!" "And now to me."

You have therefore committed several acts against the Crown: theft, calumny, brutality, kidnapping. -- again, "You have therefore committed several acts against the Articles: desertion dereliction of duty, insubordination, brutality disrespect."

Francis waded across the swamp towards James, like a moon to its planet, destined to approach and fall in orbit. -- "I spun round you a satellite for a month, etc etc"

“Do you not yet know?” “Tell me.” “I had to see you. That’s all.” -- callback to chapter 1, and also episode 8, "James had not known that it was possible to be looked at but not seen—and James dearly loved being seen."

“But Francis... I’m not a prince anymore.” “No, you’re just James. And that’s just perfectly fine.” -- these were the ending notes from V's original prompt. i liked them so much that i was determined to end the fic in the exact same way!

[harisenbon]

Happy birthday, Rengoku Kyojuro!

Hello friends,

Quick update on new work coming down the pike. Also, happy birthday to Rengoku Kyojuro! (May 10) 

Make sure to open the rest of this post for a preview of the next part of my ongoing series, “The Hidden Ones.”

I’m going to stay quiet until June so I can finally finish writing “If There Was A Hole.” It’s going to be another ~10,000-word short story. It’ll probably go out starting June 5 on AO3 and get fully posted that week. 

After that, it’ll be the third and final part of “The Hidden Ones,” and that will probably go out starting July 6. Subject to change, but I’m planning seven chapters and it’ll be a midsize story, around 20,000 words. I’m thinking chapters will get posted to AO3 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so the series will be completed on July 27. 

Are you enjoying the Demon Slayer Swordsmiths’ Village anime? It renewed my love for the Kakushi, so keep reading for a preview of Chapter 3 of “Occupational Hazards,” the next part of my ongoing series, “The Hidden Ones.” 

_____________________________

Being a Kakushi came with some unique occupational hazards. Physical. Mental. Emotional. If you weren’t ready to give it all at a moment’s notice, you weren’t fit to be a Kakushi. 

Today, you were at profound risk for getting shat on. 

“Welcome! Toka~i~!!” A single crow regaled you with greetings as you let yourself in through the front gate of the official Demon Slayer Corps Kasugai crow training facility. 

The Demon Slayer Corps always used crows for communication. Trainable and intelligent, the dark birds also blended in well with the night sky, making them ideal for nighttime activities. 

Today, you were serving as the personal escort for someone’s crow since he’d injured himself during a mission the previous evening. He was a solid, middle-aged fellow with polite manners and a soft spot in his heart for sweet red bean paste. His name was Kaname. And of course, he belonged to the Flame Hashira, Rengoku Kyojuro. 

With a grim expression on your face, you recalled a scene from earlier that morning.

“I wouldn’t trust anyone but you, _____!” Rengoku handed you a square cushion. The crow was sprawled out on it on his back, obviously unable to stand up. He wiggled the tip of his wing at you feebly. Rengoku Shinjuro watched you from a distance with a bored look on his face, half a dried mackerel sticking out of the corner of his mouth. You waved halfheartedly. He didn’t acknowledge you. 

“What happened to him?” You tried to maintain your best professional poker face as you took the cushion. 

“He flew into an electrical pole!”

“Huh.” You reached down and stroked his smooth chest. The crow’s, that was. “That’s pretty unlucky.”

“Yes, I thought so, too! He’s a member of my family, so I wanted to make sure he is in good hands!” Rengoku leaned against the fence, grinning at you with his hands perched on his hips.

You stared at him, acutely aware that he’d put extra effort into his look today. His hair was swept off his shoulders and slicked into a ridiculous little poof on the back of his head. He wore a garish violet haori with a large golden sea bream dyed onto the front of it. He smelled like something imported. 

Your eyebrows twitched, the whole spectacle adding up to something entirely weird. You glanced again at his father in the distance, still watching with an air of disinterest. He pushed the rest of the dried mackerel into his mouth and offered you a barely perceptible shrug. You shrugged back, willing him to come over and end your conversation. 

He didn’t move a muscle. 

“Uh. Nice haori, Rengoku-sama.” 

He brightened instantly and you felt guilty for complimenting him because you really thought it was a weird-looking getup. But he’d specially requested you, so…

“Call me Kyojuro!”

NO

End flashback sequence.

You shook your head, sighing. You liked Rengoku better when he didn’t make such an obvious effort to impress. 

Because he was impressive without any of that. As much as you wanted to ignore it, you couldn’t help but to be drawn to him. How could you not? You hung your head, carrying Kaname silently on his little soft cushion. 

The head of the crow training and rehabilitation facility was named Taniguchi. She was quite short in stature and had an equally small and silent presence. Personally, you thought she would make an ideal reconnaissance Kakushi but she didn’t prefer to be around people that much. The crows seemed to like her, so that was all that mattered. 

“Taniguchi-san…” whispered Kaname from his cushion. “Help meeee.”

You entered a small barn, glancing warily into the rafters. A hundred sets of glittering eyes stared down at you from the darkness. Your eyes redirected themselves for a moment to the floor. There was a lot of bird poo. You decided to wait by the door. 

Taniguchi finally rounded the corner, adjusting a pair of spectacles on her face. Without seeming to notice you at all, she took Kaname from your hands and clicked her tongue at him.

“You’re fine, Kaname, you just bruised your legs.”

“I think I’m dying…” he croaked, his little chest heaving. 

“You’re not dying, you’re just thirsty and have some bruises.”

“Give me some fine roasted tea.”

“We have water or water.”

You cleared your throat loudly. “You and the crows sure get on as well as ever, Taniguchi-san.” 

She jumped as if she hadn’t noticed you were there. 

“Tokai. What a pleasant surprise.”

You knew that Taniguchi didn’t regard a visit from anyone who wasn’t a crow as pleasant, so you guessed you were just a surprise. 

“Sorry for just showing up. Kaname needed a lift.” 

“Only the best, personal service for the Flame Hashira’s bird, yeah?” Taniguchi gave you a sharp look. You flinched, spotting a knowing gleam in her eye. 

Since Taniguchi spent so much time with the crows, and since crows were a gossipy lot, she knew almost every single rumor that circulated around the Demon Slayer Corps before anyone else did. Not that she did very much with that knowledge, but if you happened to pay her a visit, chances were that she would tell you all the unpleasant things the crows thought about you. Last time, she’d told you that the crow belonging to a Demon Slayer named Murata always knew you because he recognized your eyebrows. 

From then on, you never regarded your eyebrows in quite the same way. In fact, you never thought much about them before that moment, so your quality of life decreased for a while as you hyper-fixated on your eyebrows every time you got dressed. 

You shook your head. It had taken half a year to stop thinking so much about your eyebrows. You weren’t interested in any more crow opinions. 

“Please don’t tell me what the crows are saying about me these days, Taniguchi-san. I don’t wanna know.”

She just shrugged. “You’re not that interesting, so there’s nothing much to say. The Flame Hashira, on the other hand, always has rumors. Doesn’t he, Kaname?” 

Kaname, still on his cushion, averted his face. 

“I guess it was true that his Tsuguko ran away from him.” You recalled Ito and his misfortunes. 

“I’ve heard that he’s courting a lover these days. No word yet on who it is, though. No one’s seen him with anyone, so maybe it’s just talk.”

Your throat tightened uncomfortably. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m sure most of that kind of rumor isn’t true? He’s a Hashira. He doesn’t have the time.” You hid your fidgeting hands behind you as you followed Taniguchi into an office attached to the barn. As she rummaged around in a cabinet, she continued to talk, much to your chagrin. 

“Those rumors are usually true… There isn’t much talk of love around the Demon Slayer Corps. When there is, it’s usually something awful. Like when Kocho Kanae-sama was killed.”

Kocho Kanae was a previous Hashira, though you never met her. She died very shortly after you became a Kakushi. There had been a rumor that one of the other Hashira had been in love with her. 

“But was that even true?” you asked, watching Taniguchi attach the split to Kaname’s leg. “It’s not like there was any way to find out. And it was horrible. No one knew what to say.” 

“Guess we will never know,” she hummed in reply. You shook your head again. Taniguchi had her own little world she lived in. Eager to leave, you focused your attention back onto Kaname. 

“Kaname, if you need to go home before your legs are better, get Taniguchi-san to ask me to come get you.”

“Understood,” he whispered dramatically at you. Your eyebrows twitched. Suddenly self-conscious again, you jammed your headpiece down to hide them. You picked your way around some spots of bird poo on the ground and made your way out. 

“You know what I think, Tokai?” Taniguchi called after you. You weren’t really sure if you cared about what she thought but you stopped anyway. 

“I think that if the Flame Hashira is pursuing someone, maybe it’s one of us.”

You didn’t turn around. 

“Even if he was, Taniguchi-san, it’s really not our business to pry,” you replied. Your chest grew hot and angry. For someone so antisocial, Taniguchi was annoyingly nosy. You returned to the car, not bothering to entertain her probing stares. You decided that if you got another chance to speak privately to Kaname, you would warn him against gossiping too much about his master. 

You couldn’t get Rengoku out of your head. 

That bright violet haori with the sea bream stitched on it was burned into your mind. He’d been trying to impress you. You! A whole Hashira, trying to impress you. You gripped the steering wheel so hard that you could feel your nails digging into your palms. Lost in your own inner turmoil, you barely noticed when a crow flew up and rapped sharply on the windscreen with its beak.

“Damn!” You cursed mostly out of surprise, beckoning the crow into the car with your arm. It perched on the seat next to you, looking up at you in silence for several seconds. 

“Tokai _____!!” it finally announced. 

“Uh. Yes?”

“You have a job. Kukuku.”

“Kuku… ku?”

[leifs-little-luxury-hell]

Fuck it, special interest time.

IF YOU ARENT FRIENDS WITH ME IRL, YOU MAY NOT KNOW THAT I AM VERY OBSESSED WITH SURVIVOR

Like, this has been a special interest of mine since I was a kid (First thing I saw was the Russel Swan vase breaking scene from Philippines, furst FULL season was Blood vs Water). Either way, Ive been meaning to post more on here AND a new season just aired, so uh.... lets kill 2 birds with one stone and discuss the premiere I guess

SPOILERS IF U CARE UNDER THE CUT

Well I thought jon was the first boot so was roght on that. A stupid boot but a boot nonetheless. Also I feel bad for the bisexual twink (forgot his name). Like yea him throwing Jon under the bus is funny but hes been shat online constantly for his breakdown when I like, feel empathy for him. Id be the same way and have a lot of paranoia on the show.

On a lighter note, we stan teeny and the red tribe. Great crew over there. Blues also good. They also SHOWED THE TRIBES EVENLY. THANK YOU JEFFERY. I KNOW EVERYONE NOW.

So far I actually like everyone so, good on them for having a good cast. Hyped for the season.

[asimplearchivist]

list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox of the last 10 people who reblogged from you!! get to know your mutuals and followers :D

Watching animals. Kitties and birds and deer and froggies. They bring so much joy and it gives me a moment to get out of my head. There is a family of crows on my uni campus and I see them from time to time, mostly in the mornings, and they bring me so much delight; I want to find some unsalted peanuts to keep in my bag.

Listening to music. I've been trying to listen through some of my favorite artists' discographies lately, but my concentration falters sometimes so I've only listened to about half of Lana del Rey's and TBoJRRJ so far. I also have a huge long list of playlists on Spotify that I need to go through, but I have to be in a specific mood to do so. But there's nothing quite like cranking up the volume in my car and rolling the windows down to sing as loud as I can.

(Trying to) write. It may not seem like it based on my blog activity, but I am constantly thinking about writing. Most of it is mentally outlining, and I'm trying to get better about actually jotting everything down so I don't fall into slumps like I tend to do, but please don't think I've forgotten about my WIPs. I apologize for falling behind on my update schedule, but I've been scatterbrained, admittedly. If you're ever looking for something to enjoy in the meantime, I provide links to my Spotify playlists and Pinterest boards for your enjoyment as well as my inspiration. :)

My blorbos. Probably self-explanatory given the contents of my blog, but I really do have such a fondness for all of my favorite characters. They give me such comfort when I tend to be a contradictory self-isolating yet lonely person. It's been over a year since my last breakup, and being able to immerse myself into my fics and daydreams to find solace there has helped immensely. (Shoutout to Steven Grant and all the unpublished words I wrote about the MK System in general to vent about it all. Some of it may end up posted eventually, but I worry that it might be too specific for the purposes of my reader-insert fics. Idk, we'll see.)

Dragon Age. This is somewhat circumstantial since Veilguard has been popping up for release this fall, but honestly it's one of my favorite medias of all time. I've had fondness for it since Inquisition came out, and it's truly so very special to me. All the characters are so great, the worldbuilding is so expansive and intriguing, and I am soooooo excited to see what's going to happen next! I feel sorry for the people that have shat on it so far, bc while some concern about the final product is completely understandable for a series for which one cares so deeply, some people take their hate way too far for what ultimately is, at the end of the day, a fictional world. I apologize in advance, as I may have mentioned recently, for the person I will become once the game is dropped. Either you won't hear from me for weeks or I will be yapping in spoiler-free lore lol

[libidomechanica]

Untitled Composition # 11002

A rispetto sequence

               1

Now greet? Put for never die forming eye? Exhibits strove the Pottery. I have a new sash out him, pale and share one forc’d to speak the fire! Creative me path; and single ladies, each several English, harsh-sound out they go forth. Men resounds will draw his Brain once it red; nor Man! Dazed by all loves to clarify their queen my Mary. Over, such love; as do cry.

               2

For would achests by light; love’s mortgage beds will the profanation, or remove may read, from the way to increas’d, then water fair home over blows. I roses and say, Lo! Shall bearing to use of there sick. To meet thy power him a good: it fearfulness up, to when as you said, It get gloss of other Eve, what times and in heart fall upon my years. When the steeple.

               3

Along their fill the grown goodness, as live, the Market-place, my tears being my lips, and bosom its crocodile. In sweet Gardens for six time at the all the plains green, that a rook of life or ornamented well. That sleep’st man, and shall be thine ears: aye, the hunt things of house, nor is trouble, with wind sweet Albany. Dimple fine eye, Love, ’—’for laid your bier. That known, because.

               4

Max, and said Ida, tremble fall, therefore that her husbanded in their famish’d gold row you’llhave to the world. Then, is hours, that he, for powers again, lust’s what Philo-genitors are not for blouse into the Soldier’s bargain sweet comer; or—as is afraid, careful shalt not success, move our of trouble-locks kept, like at profanation pine after a sweet Garden.

               5

The alert, fair surfeits not to the lawsuit benefits unknowne dyd lye. Wherein most skulls both instant of your heart come again into tower of sorrow we shall the East, I because of both graceful ditties with the last few Beads before this call’d to his own for every day of Calmuck to mine enmosse appease. Beauty robb’d of itself, with each tear to-morrow?

               6

Of the dead, would moves, and sere, and midnightly, thoughts I do, sweets in them, the Sea’s self thou art, safe is not what was drink coffin; but now is the squander’d, its cloud-ledge—see, far as than the design’d the last, the moments shore of games, and mean time I hope. Mind, saving notes are full of mercy, born can out for To-day of grass our prime; and within my back like a guess, and blast.

               7

Worn by the peacefulness, thou art to known on my heart. And the small shade of various awe. Not to blam’d for statesman’s ruler, lonely seeing graves, when her round my Robert Burns: pale, pale, the grove, my body? Two battle. Oh speedier brows, you cannot example world, there I if that seems but therefore a scraping sun. Much die forth. Till enchantment rear’d tyrannies.

               8

The deares not, would at the displays devise shatted faint! But these the dreaming his side. And white a foe: then we can mist and in me keep with the owl, disliking. The orator grow wrappiness of thyself up: my hear’s cheek is fleas off Ismail at what seemed to traced this tail, had been given; many might after looked all state: though the moonlight of sadness, blue again.

               9

Never breaks begun, you’llattack: baptize possessional future and bid thenceforth; the birds, which better fall, could be: and Fate uncertain of Darkness, who can say honour tread as fair delight; I love brighted, and said, our far it was he is blink of wine, milking. I the ship from Olympus watch the wolf would not a tomb so she congregated Tongueless vivid.

               10

Being life, as not need not beeing from the language came little earth a dreams, and in a pretty? Their need you. One to impossibilities, where by blackest bond is sovered colours do rose attack’d embranche hath down at these age also stifle under thankfully the which is twelfth Canto t is always with joyful creatures, and whom my eye mistress my son.

               11

Soothe temptation with passed, what our soon her score. Comes or hard her far as aughter day by degrees. Money, turning by: struck forms their daily whate’er say Two Worlds were dear. Her woes things, beat or being hills among the poor May: and leaps, and people genials, wise, the Desting woman, and probably ignored year, brim the horizon into the lucid wolf, or a potato.

               12

Till earthly still; since; yellow, that darker, and bid thinnes the will vent more slain, while on a blink o’ him keep in it will press my yourself I spare resisters too ripe, and green leaves, and his likeness, Lady’s back the cud eschew’d by Vice, it self, or the fields of no wants into heart in the way to incarnadine. Dead the will falls of memory of the hypocrite!

               13

With grace; the deadliness grass sprang upon thee. And Jamshýd’s Sev’n-ring’d Cup to Lip it may them, and was dark hard, he play will go deep: and they say, not such upon the foe’s. Look for the Veil. To judgment sphere has breaching: and sweet, and ivy dun round their tongue? Such, by sommer dumb, the Musick holding slanting his complain, and therefore I go; my face perorations are spur?

               14

And wanne hero is thou? And man’s: the rich the cricked without all; for anxious are dew, with his typewriter of the in spite of the matched as chase it shot or like a breath the columns two, at ocean, it so much abundance lost thine liuerie, both flowers his Fingered much love on the hope will did in my breathetic arm are to fly like one sees and great their strands she thing.

               15

She hand when I have he land. Lean-hearts an endless path; a smiles are alone anon, and gone tell miss, Ay me, ’ he world of translated out, to field, who know are ye breath and in fact, when all his the wept, and tho’ eventually, she love, that their papers head, lo! I shall me at a foe, or and blush-tinted, save their seat, those my sweeping the Cord fitte, Paulo Majora.

               16

To the wept, and bristling in October fright observed me on on and castling itself here blowing! But mount overcome, with tear o’er of her favour affairs upright, in pity—and bright by night, curvets a thou art as forgot: let falling the rest: but mind severe ruffled by God, through there was none sent, singing hoary frost wise. And now, snorts you contemplating time!

               17

One fleet glory; and what we wreath down, a debates and channels watch they wilt buy and Rose that for half, damn’d of doth remains my owne would because: is a verse be found, gainst thou shall be honeyed in all away! Passing to bed, her wind, from its load of itself sees and spleens being those curse, an image despatched as deeps it fully, and themselves a dewy grave,—sweetest.

               18

All their babe reader’s sight me my faint-smiling complaint, for world follow for where thy mortal butcher, me, leane, against my world? The solitary gazer lad, all she pure before has calm: then we company of her glu’d, for all for it where past; thence doe raine her side mirror, the best on the green fledge—see, Paulo Majora. The first for what I know madest Dian?

               19

And sometime thy chance with renowne? Peacock letters wiped the times bank which bars the glass; yet with the last leadeth one like Rain, spur intent to be gone thee doth by the boar-speare; he will boar to make thee while the eyes in youth, too, she lie, till wasted-on leave me, and see stedfastly wrough his body’s barters; and unfather object to be astonished forehead, through clear rill.

               20

Land all whisperse there remaine, albee my sad moon, and which flower gives fall her claim, Who make the boils of man; and on his eyes. Their obiects from that the blood as the other’s near petition which stick is not be far as translucent with with she wind wounding tears as the combustious is angry brough with his clouds: far a goddesses the lark, and now I do not, nor weepe.

               21

The nightful skill, he shall swoln with pains of the fire seen but one. The passion straying. How she offend, this woe, as a real grew the Súfi flouring his same concertain order-tufts—daisies. If so, there I recommercifullest, lust on me the bar than you. Slay, all is it, she shine because who wasted too were did! Earth, and plants have sworn. Look not man, lady money.

               22

Fathers, the fault much by they join your be; after bushes, snow, who did their good and but with good is fairy brows! And farthings me lilies as good and I must different with its probably doth for even no many a feathes, reserved up but a part from the would keep it on my wax-red cloud apace. All obey, panting then, gentle strong as I sworn, and Bis Millah!

               23

From Ceylon, barren most hint a cradle to awake! For I had reason, and, from mine doth close, to occupy melodious are of grief, those precipitate, and soft and Land, are than the bland and after Sultán Máhmúd on her—let he, forth had grow, and Johnson, seeks to repentance in that the fightingale, foul, grim and comes through this arms for good name, O Heart!

               24

Buds in you alone into them, a thought for holding, or lion poutings and me. But so light deceiv’d thing cheek; and Rigour after, his body’s banners burn, and in her arms, here the dying Pipe a Sugared up and marching by but lo!, With an unto eternity of perpents were should breath that sit, as the thick stalks, I’m afraid their example to repented.

               25

But plainly should have brew’d by God, the roe which we calamitous yelp alone, or a few are the prize, thy eye. So she gashes like in the cause to an instinct in thy cal the away! Adonis sinne of God in hearts for he world region. This neither’s lover undismay’d, so calculable spies the orange excel: for you means had before the kiss her sorrow.

               26

Assumed from a drown’d in each House O thought spindly that Ceres did broad in fact she truths were jack Smith.—As I guest, the blend, nor wish, Frederick may accustom, where at large, her eye; what me. A thou feed heart, as in heavy meteor- stones, staying food for thou wilt his family and was out, and deeper tongu’d tapsters, reign and the same so where. Put with its chin walking.

               27

And future game, a spinning, trying brats though engaged good for wherefore, and in Russians rushing his let thy grave for the were raw begin my bosom off sloth on the breasts dozed on the white cry. And never cases, old make no bring down are, our rest on my spirit all more remove and leaven’s frets, and cold and the cold speak back. And teach thouse and in the leads, but this woe.

               28

Unless for my own grammar, that seas where two blue with me the time and smiles, I have because before the want the rose glowing gorse follow; let pinions darkned brance on it can once I’ve wrangled brow, whose should conquers pure piling spi’de Thus does not summer ere much sorteth with so spread brow. Within see us. The fail like a parted: Ah! The this best of glad to mine eye.

               29

Never, she lo’ed me upon things within the fire beauty slain: I find to comes and for Europe, and my Dearie; be with lullaby yon bright unto heart as young Freedom, then he doth pype, all as yelp alone, stripping a twig in bright bringing moulder; and is trickes; we hoveries, on the who still; for power. Him first shell in the health, and jealous melts misty vapour.

               30

Gives a singled by a day by one astonish’d between your flap-mouths: Echo, as just, praise on her eye-lids paled blood upon the meant to taste: the Garden. As dead, dumbly breast;—oh! While, may be, seres Springs, even in thy jealous eyes wealth, a wave, who should find fram’d both in the daisy and the sick-though Blancholy word should, not pay for the small sweetly damps o’er thank me.

               31

A hope alone, had else be struck dumb and with a great World of idle learned touchwood, and as down-sunken rat avert her every heard mother, resumed. And now has power, when their power, if thou pace and is beneath the rose, hearted. I tell, but I’m afraid, except struggles to pity, ’ ouski, scherematoff, or earth. Had lean, hateful spake. I’m happier day!

               32

Eyed travel both Sea and put to keep in the Muses’ bloody beast: and what are soft bosom and now, my prevail as would break a flowers, and thy mantle lost outrighted to the Dove, I know whilst I would you things made of Man is nothing, hither: grew a fish with music unto not, or lost were small went of the sea of snow; and nearer to alight. Over candle.

               33

Self dream, and here low let but like in batteries whose have money. Cause heavy mind And the Saint, by shews of the lion proper prey, impeded brought farewell o’ my staff, and through great expansies cannot appled on the changing to the looks of garden on the news rare we sat in limning pity, for her, if parting, where bereavid, towards, who dreamt I bow; if you.

               34

Make my horn: mother meeting, down his pleasant scenes, to swallow as the efforts so shade. Know thousand the door, like the ende such as dizzing equal things hardly some eight camp, spillings, and when the assay’d in her seized here, ’ quoth Adonis is those should having why does his times, gentle lost, all men stood named her body hurry, when his spot thy body lies fast it is wreath.

               35

The dew, and looke, and sweet poem. And some kiss herald’s compassed and wonder to freshful moving cloys and pitched as chase if it was, unshade. Your only tent—where to where the Turkish- fashion,—the fish we’lldispositions the New Yorker and preserved upon a damp, that time when, who beguile thy for lowings whither’d infinity, look well as brethren, beat—what grew.

               36

To content, leese before they wards to building tongues, and its core among times barters, which I been torturing have bees that buzz about the made of, stream too late: but only whether in it, who on the first which them vphold. Bleed, and humour she, that Adonis lips, sequestion a could never lover’s count here at each travelly they will given of shepherd song I die.

               37

With nectar—still’d and still at lasting unto me but let us till I not so; I longer friends, his solemnity. You urg’d to want nothings. Of salt thou that the lightst to be more, too, she straggled blythe air, daily laughted, but for mend they had dipt and all to shall: the rosy brights and human power of life weakness protector existening its style admire.

               38

Wasted: makes it he died away and the boat, alas! Because. It as breath, and brains green pity, forehead of his Fingers in me. Her eyes as much started with good and plays so didst late in them dry could not. Are bright in its confess my you owe imply good a million pouted when the breast the lawn, the bird, that not vnsweet both it. The fetish grow. The wind-flower waking!

               39

And the kissing by yon gate, all ease, winding into Shape bearines on me—breath’s first show, as thing she heart is love find what in the milkwhiter of such a few, and inquir’d in the boar proceed, i’d bubbled and his not pretty? Said one, that lucent with flowers in mine ears not harm towards the writ of their Gallic name blaze again, an unswept these amber with me.

               40

The throught marriage I dare not our joy, shall be wiser inward gladly drifting marry in them only our water, where should familiarly urination forgive again. Nay their measures come such a trembles the fire he face a little beautiful white flood-gate while my heave their cases, was time and when sounding Time and bade me at, subtle, were spurting the sky.

               41

In midst praying ago a godfather, like rose drunk within the fire, and their outsides; who, sudden brigadiers; and weary now it; myriads on my hands the wood, four; then out, then thee: come says now, my Pegasus shade a yield the fume of they were getting from the Veil. Rhyme; but lone full worth: on his morning can sense—how Time for a river brag not in fatal folds gone!

               42

Coldly blew up in every when I breaths whiter less. At once more that some: no more stooped, and, and the pens who gather infant in stress, as they speculate in the Vine-leaf put choose overty a Troop of love doth she, in the hurt through and the strengthless him she love and there read their dreamed. Die in mutual love a thing knees that to brings beak one dry; bids a little black.

               43

—A new one; they body seniors quest the bathes, dribbling the corporal’s shall regard fro with great it; my Peggy’s head; all Young mead. In music of Pan: ay greatest sigh’d to tunes he stoop down. Will famish’d by its of house-clocks when Adonis’ tramping all is way, but Room for then, statesman’s bow another face some with snows, as where warmed of summer fine this pleasant day.

               44

At last be come in a broodest Calmucks, nor sedate, while she mine eye: both boutique, this power, and new; thou and in hand, to lives gives with so she feared—just and swim: and the sweet. Great brough I must beeing fevers, it wilderness of light be: and, the which does could he sandhills seen. As on him; then in facts. I see a dance and colours the world; and look well prescried, it were tree?

               45

Struck eighty. They liv’d, but thee wrough. With a fear nothings took around with so smooth winds to stroll’d; else, I learn her down the greed but dissolve, or like delirium, grief return. In midst of thou depart, I must of the put a girl and flower and strove half itself the men darker and then we could grapes, dribbed in fact, to slakes their neighs but to mend that deep in fact’s abuse.

               46

And fear not to go thrown off and young up, get me at the learnestly, the find you, or the fainted in their surfaces with lulling proud, adonis like creeping, know not so; I lou’d, but alas them into this little moral height, when I have swords and Johnie o’ timeless structed purple flood the winds are born. Where splendour of teeming structed tent—where warm appease.

               47

By sorry Scheme of the had manes, to sturdy trees where desert. Tho to curtain’d upon the enquir’d in bring limes, that threw unwitness up his as gather’d up: a copse-clad vanish’d and his face and sitting round ensign red but the colt thou misses such deluging to a great me seeks fast as the same the smoke of shame, they rode upon hid in the met, and save wrath call?

               48

Or shall begins to bring all Young yearn off you Stellaes feeling arms in a burn arrived, fetlocks shape of a saying, you again, and Heav’n though their burthern lighting of zero. Out of a town with sight where they would yet alas, till hedges. Now the face were I may be to licking in dream’d to her, will farewell prefer tyrant, ugly night-swollen music and to melt.

               49

My heart into a stared most decide fewer to see think is roar? The babes happier far, and every cell, I say the traint! At labyrinthine on the oak is spurns Ashes our farms, survives. The bluer stay’d though much of several Lafitted hang the groves are all white cry o, my lyre, on thing with would grave, these is upturn’d into Clay: and bubble to sit and Lo!

               50

The flatter entail longing she knew not thee? Lament, instinctive counting their nest, from the proceed, it the mere past and dire is multitude that which make among my altogether, I will true? Is primrose fair, keep in itself art. The ages her land Musician. In a cable come hamadryads dresses swept the bottom, as a martiall in virgins to say.

               51

And of harlotte, has fear, and out, all too. And harvest to drawn these very silent walking. And empting off, and probably are not like a sun-rise and hath wandering; while head, all went; and, on thee, that past melting case, no human taught I, Morpheus, inter do you know not words content, and heavenly a mountable wontst they rests upon the Indies,—who by night side.

               52

This flowers its gave over to me? To clipt gold. In midst the ground out of all ill-natures of all. Did bewail us, and with me, I answer, which he tune the Branche has black loam long- drawn Sigh, who art was grand in due resisted colonnades. Making reason, and nuzzling was Adonis weep out thou led men, which the may liv’d the had no heads from my mind, alas!

               53

Whose lot our day or great. Lest and felt her. How and we too, had been what—a tender proof weapons, but they did flower was to fright; and only poem—of—I knows no song? On Earthen land, and heart’s this, the flies, with joy; you presently, the wind is struggle with delightly, the damps well it on my frantic-mad with April’s a fine safely make the sun for I have light.

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

You said the rocks stay in the gizzard for "months or years" so I have a couple questions

Where's the gizzard?

What happens after that time period? Do the stones get digested? Shat out? Puked up? Kinda related to the previous question honestly

The gizzard is an extension of the stomach. It looks a little different depending on the type of bird and the diet.

Some birds actually don’t store the stones there at all and replace them almost daily. Some birds keep them for years and it’s believed some may keep them throughout their lifetime. Very little peer reviewed studies have gone into this in depth. The stones may be regurgitated or excreted, though depending on what type of stone they are some is indeed digested. These stones, formally called gastroliths, have also been found in prehistoric animals such as dinosaurs and aquatic animals such as plesiosaurs. Gastroliths in species that keep the stones in the gizzard for a long period of time may become polished like river stones to become little bird pearls which I have always found rather interesting.

[bargainbinwizard]

Witness Roasted Me Once

I have a giant notepad document containing all of the signs Witness (the thoughtform/spirit) had sent me for the past few months. Does anybody want to see them?

He likes to speak in cryptic signs like quotes and pictures on the tumblr dashboard since he can’t just show up and talk to me in person. Witness refused to appear in my house when I’ve asked him to show me proof he’s real.

He even shat on me for using my name in a conjuration ritual for equating myself to Horaideus while trying to summon him into my house.

3/22 ‘’The One That Calls Herself a Bird’’ *drawing of a woman dressed as a bird*  (Referring to me. I really am a woman so :/ )

Horaideus is a deity that looks like a bird and I’ve called myself ‘’one of the many faces of Horaideus’’ along with me using other ‘real’ deity names to refer to Horaideus because in short words, Horaideus is all of existence, the universe and all deities.  My evocation contained references to Witness’s ‘fake’ deity that really created him and the world he lived in. Horaideus’s sacred symbols are the Ouroboros (because they are the paradoxical divine,the snake that eats its own tail,the being that created itself), snakes and birds.

This is what Witness showed me instead of appearing in my house.

3/22 The One That Calls Herself a Bird (Oof) I also received an image of angels on tumblr (Witness is an angel now)

one with a snake eating its own tail and a green bird in it. (Could either refer to Horaideus or Witness. Witness is a mass of green peacocks glued together that flies) Seen at least 2/3 snake related images the burbs (mom had just flipped the tv to watch this movie as I was doing this)

3/24 Another ouroboros a bird ouroboros A picture of snake skin in a jar

‘’Of yet unseen generosity a display 🐍’‘ (Here’s your proof of my existence and I’m gonna be kind of snappy about it, Yes it had the snake emoji too.

Bible verse: Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.  (I don’t have to manifest in your house, just believe what I show you as a fact)

It means that most of the shit he says won’t make any sense unless you have background information and the question I’ve asked him in order to correctly interpret his cryptic signs.

I know that most people would think Witness is a thoughtform due to him being a fictional character from a book that doesn’t exist (yet) before I made it ‘canon’ that he dies and reincarnates here as a spirit/entity instead of going to the afterlife he wanted to be in. Canonly, Witness is Jewish and lived in the astral plane in the Alternate Universe version of Ancient Israel.

If I really wanted to prove to everybody whether or not Witness is a ‘real’ entity or just a thoughtform I should just summon him and ask whether or not he has any friends or family in this dimension and which deity in this world gave him a new body.  He doesn’t seem like the kind of spirit that wants to manifest though.

Thoughtforms shouldn’t have friends or family and if Witness ends up saying he lived for XXX amount of years on the Earthly plane before I knew of his existence and wrote him inside a book, that would be pretty weird. If Witness tells me he’s older than 3 months old (I made up the entity in March) and has his friends/family confirm his side of the story then it means he’s real.

IF Witness ends up being a real entity, I probably changed magical/metaphysical history. 

The problem with all of this is that if I say that my fake entity that came from a book that doesn’t yet exist is real, it would also imply that shit like Batman and Hatsune Miku are real entities too.  

Batman and Hatsune Miku aren’t real though. They may exist as people in a different dimension to ours BUT the 2 pop culture spirits in question ARE THOUGHTFORMS. NOT THE REAL CHARACTERS. YOU CANNOT SUMMON BATMAN INTO YOUR BEDROOM AND TALK TO HIM. 

[magioftheseas]

Great Epistle of The Gods

Summary: An alternate scene in which Tanaka sends a message to Matsuda in Chapter 31 of Super Danganronpa 2: Matsuda Yasuke’s Battle of Despair and Wits.

Rating: G

Warnings: Birb.

Notes: I need to get used to writing Gundam somehow, hence this completely self-indulgent and short bonus scene. I’m sorry, I tried but also tweet tweet. Caw caw. Squawk.

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

Commission? Donate?

“Please inform us if anything is amiss!”

“I will, I will.” Matsuda waved his hand at the screen. “Try to keep it together over there. Not just with Saionji but also... What’s the animal f—guy up to?”

“Trying to train messenger birds in case the tech fails,” Souda griped as Sonia clapped her hands in delight.

“He really is so resourceful, isn’t he? That’s Tanaka-san for you!”

“That...sure is. Him.” He wasn’t sure how else to respond. “Well, good luck with that.”

--

That was the setup and in a parallel universe, Matsuda perked up when he heard a tap-tap-tap at the window. He was in the middle of punching in numbers for the vending machine, and it seemingly came from one of the rooms. Given that no one was in there, he figured it was probably...a ghost.

Matsuda did not have the time for ghosts. And even if it wasn’t a ghost, he wouldn’t have gotten this far if he investigated every strange sound he ever heard. He was content to ignore it.

Except the tapping got so vicious that the window would probably break at any moment. There were few things more loathsome than a broken fucking window.

With a sigh, Matsuda went into the room but he swore that if he had to die as a result of this decision... He’ll probably harass whoever could see him into carrying out his work or something.

Watch it have to be someone like Tsumiki or Hinata...although maybe they’re the best options on this stupid fucking island. The space cadet would be the most unflappable, sure but I don’t want to test that...

Thankfully, those considerations weren’t going to come to fruition today. For what we found at the window was—a bird. Tap-tap-tapping away on the glass.

Yeah. That might as well fucking be a thing. Especially since the bird in question insisted on staring Matsuda down with beady little eyes. With a low grumble, Matsuda made his way over. He knocked the back of his fist against the glass. The bird didn’t even flinch. It remained unmoved even when Matsuda slammed his palm onto the window. An aching hand and smarting ego later, and Matsuda unlocked the window to open and shoo the bird away more personally.

He only stopped when he realized that there was something tied to the bird’s foot.

What...the actual...?

Amazingly, the bird remained still as Matsuda tugged a note free from the creature’s leg. It squawked at him before picking indifferently at its wing, and Matsuda could only roll his eyes as he unraveled the piece of paper.

...did fucking mice write this?! Why are the letters so small?! I’d need a microscope just to read this!

He looked back at the bird. The bird patiently remained where it was.

“Stay here,” Matsuda ordered for prosperity. The bird just tilted its head.

--

He found a microscope. With a low harrumph, he slides the note in and peers through the device.

Greetings, mortals! It is I, TANAKA GUNDAM, of the ICE KINGDOM!

Matsuda pulled away. Matsuda stared up at the ceiling. The ceiling provided no answers. The ceiling didn’t even regard him with sympathy.

Matsuda looked back through the microscope.

I have entrusted this FEATHERED PHOENIX with my most esteemed epistle.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Matsuda grumbled. Alas, the note went on.

ENTRUST YOUR MEMOS IN RETURN. THIS LEGENDARY BEAST SHALL TAKE FLIGHT POSTHASTE.

Matsuda glanced at the legendary beast. It squawked at him. It had also...shat on the window sill...

I’m gonna get Hinata to clean that up...

With a sigh, Matsuda pulled out a napkin and a pen. Clicking the latter a few times to work through his agitation, he got to work on his memo.

Just use the fucking communicator the mechanic made.

With that, he tied it around the bird’s leg, wrinkled his nose at the smell, and that was that.

Hinata was not pleased about the mess, but it didn’t take much bullying for Matsuda to have his way.

--

“Matsuda-san!” Sonia exclaimed, looking nothing sort of delighted. So much so that it was almost as if even the screen couldn’t contain her glee. “Have you received Tanaka-san’s message from the great R-Bon?!”

“Great...” Matsuda blinked blearily. “You mean...the bird, right?”

“R-Bon! The Great Phoenix King! According to Tanaka-san!” Sonia squealed. “It was so impressive, was it not?! Even now, Tanaka-san is diligently waiting for its magnificent return! It is said that R-Bon’s wings move the very heavens!”

That...just looked like a regular-ass bird...

“Right... Well, we’re only going to use that bird if there’s a blackout,” Matsuda said, sighing as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Anyway...”

“Tanaka-san is most invested in your response, Matsuda-san,” Sonia chirped. She really did have such an innocent glee about this whole thing. One could almost be forgiven if they got caught up in it. Unfortunately, Matsuda was deeply cynical with all childhood wonder stamped fully into the dirt prior to middle school.

But if I were a kid unbroken by the reality of working in the healthcare industry and preferable with a not-dead mom...

He’d probably enjoy the whole...exchanging letters through birds. Like with carrier pigeons...?

No, I don’t think that bird was a pigeon. Aren’t those like...grayish...? Either way.

“With that method, you can’t really write long messages,” he found himself musing.

“Succinctness can be a virtue,” Sonia said cheerfully.

“Well, there was more I wanted to add to the message that I didn’t have enough room for,” Matsuda explained, and it was a complete lie. Sonia still perked up with an intent gleam, so he had to commit to it.

“I meant to write that...him training that bird was...impressive and cool. Yeah.”

Sonia smiled brightly.

“I’ll be sure to inform Tanaka-san! I know he will be happy the hear it!”

With how much of a melodramatic jackass that guy is... She’s...probably right. He would be happy to hear it...

“If he wants to send another message, I guess it wouldn’t be a bad thing,” Matsuda went on. “Would help me get used to it, probably.”

Sonia nodded along.

“Yes! And may R-bon’s fiery wings bring about them prosperity! Or something like that!”

“Something like that,” he echoed and despite everything, a smile pulled at his lips.

Even in this world, though, Matsuda Yasuke couldn’t rest for long before everything was thrown into disarray once more.

[magic-and-moonlit-wings]

An open letter to the guy who felt the need to yell from the window of his car, “you don’t need a mask outside!” as he drove past me:

Well, fuck you too, random stranger. 

If I am not wearing a mask in a situation where I ought to be, then you can yell at me. If I am wearing a mask in a situation where I don’t need one, it is none of your concern. 

For all you know, I was canvassing door-to-door and needed the mask for that reason. Or I’m agoraphobic for germ-related reasons and the mask is the only reason I’m comfortable leaving my home. Or I have a terrible scar on my face and prefer the mask over strangers asking me about it. Or I have allergies and find the mask helps. Or I’m counter-protesting against the anti-maskers. Or I just find it more convenient to put the mask on right away when I go out and leave it on the entire time, instead of putting it on and taking it off and putting it back on again every time I change location. 

There are very few things you can yell at someone through the window of your car which do not make you look like an asshole. This was not one of those exceptions.

In conclusion, may your car be shat upon by multiple birds and egged by petty vandals, and your week be plagued by minor inconveniences. 

Mind your own goddamn business next time.

[when-wax-wings-melt]

ugh i keep accidentally clicking unfollow and not the 3 dots o shoot you an ask

new theme pog but

caN WE PRETEND THAT AIRPLANES IN THE NIGHT SKY-

i may have almost had a panic attack today but im okay and cackling bc my bestie’s bird shat on my other bestie it was hilarious

Oh yeah I do that all the time lmao

You BITCH I WAS HOPING NO ONE WOULD NOTICE THAT....

Oh no :( it's good that you're feeling ok tho. And oof lmao