#the best wifi in the world

[primeillust]

mouse girl from wuwa i love you

[istherewifiinhell]

lucky (number sleven <- echolalia) lucky me. they them is my pronouns. and i gots the it/its on deck of. cause. like. creaturify me. motherfucker. they are also my pronouns. but im happy to use they/them and do with irl ppl who know. its good enough. its truly just important that u just. do not human gender me. (why i dont like nonbin gender getting common knowledge? ehhhhhh. i mean if everyone could be nuanced abt it...) but truly just like. oh god. oh god ppl are annoying huh. whatever.

[foone]

why are printers so hated? it's simple:

computers are good at computering. they are not good at the real world.

the biggest problems in computers, the ones that have had to change the most over the time they've existed, are the parts that deal with the real world. The keyboard, the mouse, the screen. every computer needs these, but they involve interacting with the real world. that's a problem. that's why they get replaced so much.

now, printers: printers have some of the most complex real-world interaction. they need to deposit ink on paper in 2 dimensions, and that results in at least three ways it can go on right from the start. (this is why 3D printers are just 2D printers that can go wrong in another whole dimension)

scanners fall into many of the same problems printers have, but fewer people have scanners, and they're not as cost-optimized. But they are nearly as annoying.

This is also why you can make a printer better by cutting down on the number of moving elements: laser printers are better than inkjets, because they only need to move in one dimension, and their ink is a powder, not a liquid. and the best-behaved printers of all are thermal printers: no ink and the head doesn't move. That's why every receipt printer is a thermal printer, because they need that shit to work all the time so they can sell shit. And thermal is the most reliable way to do that.

But yeah, cost-optimization is also a big part of why printers are such finicky unreliable bastards: you don't want to pay much for them. Who is excited for all the printing they're gonna be doing? basically nobody. But people get forced to have a printer because they gotta print something, for school or work or the government or whatever. So they want the cheapest thing that'll work. They're not shopping on features and functionality and design, they want something that costs barely anything, and can fucking PRINT. anything else is an optional bonus.

And here's the thing: there's a fundamental limit of how much you can optimize an inkjet printer, and we got near to it in like the late 90s. Every printer since then has just been a tad smaller, a tad faster, and added some gimmicks like printing from WIFI or bluetooth instead of needing to plug in a cable.

And that's the worst place to be in, for a computer component. The "I don't care how fancy it is, just give me one that works" zone. This is why you can buy a keyboard for 20$ and a mouse for 10$ and they both work plenty fine for 90% of users. They're objectively shit compared to the ones in the 60-150$ range, but do they work? yep. So that's what people get.

Printers fell into that zone long, long ago, when people stopped getting excited about "desktop publishing". So with printers shoved into the "make them as cheap as possible" zone, they have gotten exponentially shittier. Can you cut costs by 5$ a printer by making them jam more often? good. make them only last a couple years to save a buck or two per unit? absolutely. Can you make the printer cost 10$ less and make that back on the proprietary ink cartridges? oh, they've been doing that since Billy Clinton was in office.

It's the same place floppy disks were in in about 2000. CD-burners were not yet cheap enough, USB flash drives didn't exist yet (but were coming), modems weren't fast enough yet to copy stuff over the internet, superfloppies hadn't taken over like some hoped, and memory cards were too expensive and not everyone had a drive for them. So we still needed floppy disks, but at the same time this was a technology that hadn't changed in nearly 20 years. So people were tired of paying out the nose for them... the only solution? cut corners. I have floppy disks from 1984 that read perfectly, but a shrinkwrapped box of disks from 1999 will have over half the disks failed. They cut corners on the material quality, the QA process, the cleaning cloth inside the disk, everything they could. And the disks were shit as a result.

So, printers are in that particular note of the death-spiral where they've reached the point of "no one likes or cares about this technology, but it's still required so it's gone to shit". That's why they are so annoying, so unreliable, so fucking crap.

So, here's the good news:

You can still buy a better printer, and it will work far better. Laser printers still exist, and LED printers work the same way but even cheaper. They're still more expensive than inkjets (especially if you need color), but if you have to print stuff, they're a godsend. Way more reliable.

This is not a stable equilibrium. Printers cannot limp along in this terrible state forever. You know why I brought up floppy disk there? (besides the fact I'm a giant floppy disk nerd) because floppy disks GOT REPLACED. Have you used one this decade? CD-Rs and USB drives and internet sharing came along and ate the lunch of floppy disks, so much so that it's been over a decade since any more have been made. The same will happen to (inkjet) printers, eventually. This kind of clearly-broken situation cannot hold. It'll push people to go paperless, for companies to build cheaper alternatives to take over from the inkjets, or someone will come up with a new, more reliable printer based on some new technology that's now cheap enough to use in printers. Yeah, it sucks right now, but it can't last.

So, in conclusion: Printers suck, but this is both an innate problem caused by them having to deal with so much fucking Real World, and a local minimum of reliability that we're currently stuck in. Eventually we'll get out of this valley on the graph and printers will bother people a lot less.

Random fun facts about printing of the past and their local minimums:

in the hot metal type era, not only would the whole printing process expose you to lead, the most common method of printing text was the linotype, which could go wrong in a very fun way: if the next for a line wasn't properly justified (filling out the whole row), it could "squirt", and lead would escape through gaps in the type matrix. This would result in molten lead squirting out of the machine, possibly onto the operator. Anecdotally, linotype operators would sometimes recognize each other on the street because of the telltale spots on their forearms where they had white splotches where no hair grew, because they got bad lead burns. This type of printing remained in use until the 80s.

Another fun type of now-retired printers are drum printers, a type of line printer. These work something like a typewriter or dot-matrix printer, except the elements extend across the entire width of the paper. So instead of printing a character at time by smacking it into the paper, the whole line got smacked nearly at once. The problem is that if the paper jammed and the printer continued to try to print, that line of the paper would be repeatedly struck at high speed, creating a lot of heat. This worry created the now-infamous Linux error: "lp0 on fire". This was displayed when the error signals from a parallel printer didn't make sense... and it was a real worry. A high speed printer could definitely set the paper on fire, though this was rare.

So... one thing to be grateful about current shitty inkjet printers: they are very unlikely to burn anything, especially you.

(because before they could do that they'd have to work, at least a little, first, and that's very unlikely)

[searchingforserendipity25]

it's a good thing conclave didn't waste any time on making the stories about catholic orders and their in-fighting. and probably i shouldn't either because i am not informed enough about it to go on at length. pls take all of this w a grain of salt.

but i know in my heart of hearts that aldo bellini is a progressive liberal jesuit, the holy father's specialest most progressive liberal italian-american jesuit.

look at him. look at his glasses. those are the glasses of a man who did his dissertation on reinterpreting loyola through a contemporary reformist lens. academic wunderkid. has sooo much beef w the editors of american jesuit weekly. possibly the events of conclave are occurring in a better more beautiful world where aldo bellini is the editor of american jesuit weekly.

the late holy father for sure was a progressive jesuit also. vr pope francis coded. and low-key set him up as a successor. for a while, that seemed nearly a sure thing in some circles.

but there is the fact. well. the fact that everyone is tired, done and tired of jesuits, progressive or otherwise.

this among other factors meant he couldn't consider him the best option, besides whatever character judgement and uncanny machievallien prediction he came up with.

adeyemi has that benedictine swag which makes his potential election particularly seem like a breath of fresh air + reliable + lots of influence. tremblay is giving dominican drip and dominican corruption. and dominican flop. his nespresso machine? it's giving dominican also.

tedesco has to be an italian-founded order member. most hypocrital salesian of all times maybe?? this is unrelated to the fact that i was nearly enrolled in a salesian primary school and the weirdly panopticon-ish playground didn't pass the vibe check. and also because: consider tedesco rising in the ranks of an order created to help migrant workers...someone kick him in the head for me pls.

who even knows about benítez. i want to say franciscan but that might be just too on the nose. cistercian?? honestly it would work well if he is also without affiliation.

this lens does make lawrence's homily being interpreted as a campaign speech more understandable (and particularly funny).

because, as far as anyone can tell, he's fully running as an independent candidate. zero platform besides - if i fuck up i'll apologize and do better and be held accountable, which is more than any of you probably would.

and because he stands alone, he can be held accountable. he can belong to all, and not one faction only. as far as anyone can tell, he's burning bridges with bellini and rocking the statues quo.

he is speaking to/from a place of frustration with institutional inertia and factionalism, he is using his position as dean to bravely promote a platform for internal change in the curia, he is offering doubt as an alternative to certainty, he is pulling an absolute wildcard move.

pity he didn't mean it.

pity the the only order lawrence is interested in joining is the most hardcore discalced carmelite experience possible.

you know how some people look into luxurious real estate listings like it's porn? that's lawrence w tiny monasteries. the sort of minuscule organization with not enough people for management to be necessary. too small for politics. as close to erasure as you can get in this world: no need to be useful.

serving god by existing only to meditate on him. a narrow slant of a life, at that. barely taking up space, barely casting a shadow.

his favorite is a decrepit wreck of a place in the middle of southern spain, nowhere. no wifi no speaking aloud no possessions. no shoes no food. no nothing, only prayer. and a big big sky overhead.

maybe that will fix his issues with reaching god. if that doesn't work he'll probably just wander into the tabernas desert and become an hermit. works for some people, supposedly; plenty of order founders seem to believe so, anyway.

[viktorslver]

𒅌 | Raising the kids with Vander

— First of all, i’d like to thank the lovely doll that requested this!! I’m so sorry the og request post is now gone, my wifi just isn’t having it today unfortunately.

Now, I’d like to think that you and Vander are close enough that if he was struggling with stress or just it’s a busy day at The Last Drop—he’d be able to turn to you to help with the kids.

You two were a team, you worked together to ensure the kids get everything they’d need.

Whether it was getting them ready in the morning, or cleaning them up after some alleyway scrap they’d got themselves into.

The smell of eggs and bacon swam through the air, Powder kneeling between your legs on a cushion as she rambled excitedly about her dream. Mylo sitting beside you, groaning dramatically pretending to die of boredom.

You found her endearing, she was like a puppy—loud and never seemed to run out of energy. Not that you minded, she brought all the life Zaun lacked. Mylo was a charming boy, adoring that stupid wolffish grin (he’d learnt it off of Vander) any time he was in trouble.

Vander was cooking, bickering playfully with Violet as he scrapped the eggs around his pan—Claggor tinkering with some sort of contraption as he listened to the two.

Vander liked to say he was the ‘bad cop’—it was blatantly obvious his frustrations never lied with the kids. More the stupid situations they’d get themselves into.

His frustration stemmed with fear, he couldn’t imagine a world without the kids, he couldn’t bear the thought of loosing them.

He confessed this all to you late at night, you two were sitting on a couch together—he didn’t think everything he said was ever going to be spoken allowed. But, he spilt it all to you.

One thing I’d like to think is that Vander has a small collection of trinkets—A metal flower, covered in thorns and paint from Powder. A tiny figurine adoring stupidly massive gauntlets from Violet. One of those singing fishes, that only let out horrific screams from Mylo. And a new pair of work gloves from Claggor.

He held onto a lot, even if it seemed like junk—he kept everything he’d been given from them.

You thought it was cute, his frowning horde of random items.

You gave him one of his favourites, a strip of pictures taken in one of those dingy booths—you and the four kids all goofing around and pulling faces.

Overall you two take great care of each other and the kiddies!!

IM SO SORRY ITS SO SHORT

It isn’t my best work either, please try and ignore that 😭

edit : JUST LETTING YOU ALL KNOW MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN !!

[rafesslxt]

Hi! Would you write a smut fic about getting high with Mattheo?

R U High Mine⎥Mattheo Riddle

summary: you come back from the holiday's with some weed for you and the boys. When you and Mattheo smoke while showing him some songs, it get's a little heated between the two of you.

warnings: Filthy smut yasss, getting high, so drugs/weed, smoking, best friends to lovers, making out, vocal mattheo (ugh), dirty talk, fingering, unprotected p in v, aftercare, mattheo calling reader slut and whore

note: I saw this in the car and had an immediate idea how to write this, had much fun. Thank you for the request I hope you like it. 💚

song: I recommend listening to the song "R U Mine" or "Why'd you only call me when you're high" by Arctic Monkeys, trust me babes. Or hear the playlist "Are you high mine" from my Spotify.

The boys and Pansy already waited for me in the common room as I arrived at Hogwarts again. It was like Christmas for them, knowing I would always bring them their favorite treat after the holiday's.

I smiled at them, knowing they were thinking the same as me as they smiled back at me. "Y/n!" Pansy was the first to stand up and hug me. From all the people I called my friends, I was closest to her. " Hey Pansy, how are you?" I asked, letting my bags fall to hug her back.

"I'm great! We're waiting for you girl. Everyone's here already." she giggled as she let go of me so I could great the rest.

I gave everyone a hug, at last Mattheo, who kissed my cheek. " How are you princess?" he asked, scanning my face. " I'm good Matt, thanks." I smile at him and sit beside him on the armrest. " What about you?" " Fine now that you're here." I rolled my eyes playfully at his answer.

"You know we're all happy to see you y/n, but do you have it?" Draco asked, shifting impatient in his seat. I think from all of us, he was the one with the most need for it. He was constantly on the edge, maybe even worse If it wasn't for Pansy who comforted him the best she could. He had all the pressure of his father on his shoulders and It was clear to see what it did to him. So a little smoke from now and then did good for him.

"Of course I have it, how could I forget when all of you reminded me the whole 2 weeks of it in each letter you wrote?" I say sarcastic, with a little smirk on the edge of my lips.

I grabbed my purse and pulled out a big black bag with already little packed baggy's, also black so you couldn't see what's in it, for each of them.

"Oh my god it's more than usually, right?" Enzo said, gawking at the little bags in my hand. I chuckled as I gave each one of them their own little bag so they could divide it up for the next few weeks.

"Yeah it is indeed more than usual. Got a good prize for it." " Wait let me pay what we didn't give you." Draco said, grabbing into his pockets but I shook my head. " No it's good. I'm friends with him since we were kids." He nodded and opened his bag to smell it, saying "You know I never thought I would say that but I wouldn‘t have thought I would ever be this happy to have a friend who is part of the muggle world."

I laughed at his comment, before giving the last bag to Mattheo. "I've got something else for you." I grinned at him, knowing he'll love it.

Obviously things like wifi don't exist here so I buyed him an MP3 player with lots and lots of battery's so he could listen to music. This time I brought an CD player and made a few Playlists for him.

His smile got bigger as he saw me pulling it out of my bag. "What's that?" Blaise asked, watching us. " It's an CD Player so you can hear Music a little louder than with headset."

"You wanna hear it?" I ask, Mattheo nodding. " Yeah princess, let's go." He grabbed my bags and gave me my purse. "See you later guy's." I waved at the rest of them.

It became a ritual for us to listen to music every time I came back from holiday's, so the group already knew what's going on.

We walked towards mine and Pansy's dorm we shared which was no issue to her as Mattheo and Draco shared a dorm so she would always go over to Draco's.

"You roll the weed and I'm gonna put on the music mkay? Grinder is in the top drawer." I say while walking towards my desk and putting the CD player on it, putting the battery in it and the first CD I wanted to show him. In the meantime he sat down on my bed and grinned the weed smaller before rolling it into a J.

"Ready." He smiled at me and tapped the place beside him on the bed. "Okay, so this is a band I want to show you, they're called "Arctic Monkeys" and I think you'll love them." Confident I sat down next to him after starting the Music. He lit the J and handed it over to me. "Here, you go first." "Thanks." I took the first drag and inhaled it deeply into my lungs before grinning and exhaling the smoke. " Oh it's good. Marc didn't disappoint." "Marc huh?" he asked as he took his first drag. " So you two are close or anything?"

I shrugged with my shoulders before laying down on my back. " Kind of, but not as close as I'm with you guys. I know him since I'm a kid, he's also the only one who knows about Hogwarts beside my parents."

He scanned my face as I was talking, slowly dragging his gaze from my eyes to my lips. I saw it but didn't think about it as I slowly but surely felt the weed have an effect.

"Damn, you were right. The music is great. It's a bit..edgy." " Yeah I know but it's great for smoking." I giggle and turn my head back towards the ceiling as the song "Why'd you only call me when you're high" started to play. " That's my second favorite." I tell him, feeling the weed calming me down but also making my senses and nerves more sensitive and reactive.

"What's your favorite?" "It comes after a few songs, just wait, I will tell you."

We layed down a little longer, smoking the J until it was ready and we were high as fuck. "Shit, it feels so good to be like this again." he groans, sending shivers down my spine. I turned my head towards him, seeing him looking at the ceiling.

I always had a crush on Mattheo. I loved when he was all flirty with me, while with nobody other. We both had partners before but I always felt some kind of pull towards him. My eyes scanned him, looking at his sharp jawline at first. I also loved looking at it, made me feel some type of way. Especially when it moved while he smoked.

Suddenly his eyes hit mine and maybe it's the weed but I had a feeling as If there was more in his gaze. Again, he looks at my eyes and then at my lips, licking his own.

Then my favorite song started playing. " That's my favorite." I said, watching him looking to the CD player. I wait a litte before he reacts to it. He breathed out heavily before looking at me. "You know where I would love to hear it?" "No tell me." "When we fuck." he says bluntly.

My eyes widened in shock, not knowing If I imagined things now. Before I could say anything he rolled over on top of me, grabbed my neck and kissed me with passion I've never felt before in my life. I opened my mouth as his tongue licked over my bottom lip. He groaned against my lips and pressed his body even more against mine, letting one hand beside my head to support himself and the other which was at my neck, now wandering over my stomach.

My breathing got faster and heavier due the haze and the arousal I suddenly felt. "Fuck, you don't even know how long I've been wanting to do this." He lowers his head down to my throat in a rush, leaving my lips trembling.

Goosebumps erupted over my skin as I felt his tongue licking my skin and his teeth carefully biting it. " Mattheo.." I moaned and let my hands go trough his hair, pulling on some strands. "What princess? What do you need hm?" he mumbles against my neck.

I arched my back and pressed my hips against his, feeling he's already hard. I gasped at the friction and bit my lip right after. " Need to feel you." "Where, tell me where. I wanna hear you say it." he groans, pressing against my hips.

"Everywhere. Fuck me." I would have never said that so bluntly without the weed, but I'm so grateful that we did smoke.

He growled against my skin, leaving wet kisses all over it before sitting up between my legs and letting both his hands roam over my skin under the hoodie I wore. It didn't take him long before pulling it over my head together with my shirt under it, seeing I was wearing no bra.

His lips parted and a smile formed on them. " You're so beautiful y/n, shit why didn't we do this sooner." His hand wandered up to my chest, massaging them and playing with my nipples teasing them. I mewled at the feeling and arched my back again. " Mattheo please. I need more."

"Don't have to ask me twice, princess." He opened the button of my jeans and pulled them down. He got rid of his clothes too until we were both only in our underwear.

I looked down and saw how big he was, just trough his boxershorts, making me gulp a little. "Don't worry, I'll go slow. Or do you want it rough?" I nodded quickly. " Rough. Fuck me like - " " Like what?" I gulped again before answering in a whisper. " Like a slut." " Oh you mean like my slut? Because after this you'll go nowhere but to me If you need to be fucked. Understood?" Ahh imagine him saying this ugh

I nodded. "Good girl." he said smiling, his voice and words making me even wetter. His fingers slowly stroked over my slip, making him biting his lip and almost moan. "Feel how wet you are you fucking slut? Wet for your best friend?"

I moaned and closed my eyes as he slipped a finger under the fabric and right inside of me. "Fuck, you're so tight. Nobody fucked you good the last few months huh?" I shook my head as I couldn't form any words. " Yeah that's gonna change from now on." He pumped his fingers a few more times inside of me, putting pressure to my clit with his thumb before pulling down his boxer shorts and my slip.

He pressed his tip against my entrance, looking at me. " Ready?" "Yeah.." I breathed out. He slowly pushed inside me, scanning my face, his eyes a little hooded.

My hands grabbed his hair again as he completely bottomed me out. "Oh yes.." I moaned, closing my eyes and parting my lips.

"You feel so good princess." he groaned and started to thrust inside me fast and rough, not thinking twice If someone outside in the common room could hear the bed hitting the wall. I wanted to say something but every word got stuck in my throat at his merciless fucking.

"What huh? Am I fucking you stupid you little whore? Fuck I love this, how fucked out you already look, not even able to speak." he growls into the air.

The only thing I felt was him inside me, thrusting faster and faster every minute that passed. I couldn't concentrate on anything else beside him. "M-mattheo I'm close.." " You wanna cum baby? Beg me like the little slut you wanted to be."

His thrusts became erratic and sloppy and I heard his breathing getting harder. "Fuck, please let me cum Mattheo. Please, I'm begging you." I moan loudly as my walls clench around his cock.

"Fuck fuck fuck.." he groaned, thrusting hard one last time before spilling inside me and circling his fingers on my sensitive clit. "Come around my cock baby." And I did. I did so hard that my vision went black for a moment and his name left my lips over and over again.

"Yeah, love how you almost look possessed. Possessed by my cock." he grins down at me, slowly pulling out of me.

I swallowed and looked at him, mind dizzy." "That was so good Mattheo." I said, trying to catch my breath.

"Oh believe me princess, that won't be the last time. You're mine now."

I hope you had fun reading, I had so much fun writing this. 😍

Let me know what ya'll think about this hehe. 👀

My Masterlist

xoxo Sarah <3

[finelinevogue]

my universe

summary - university can be tough and lonely sometimes, but luckily for you your boyfriend lives nearby

pairing - spencer reid x shy-university!reader

word count - 900

[this is just a little taster... should i continue this? if so feel free to send any ideas/prompts for this pairing you would like to see]

University wasn’t all it was cut out to be.

It was different to what you had been expecting.

You had expected constant house parties. You had expected 9-5 studying and 5-9 partying. You had expected to finally come out of your shell and live life like every extroverted person did. 

But that wasn’t the case.

Instead, university was lonely, isolating and really tough. 

The work was okay but the social life was really hard. 

You remember the first conversation you heard between your roommates like it was yesterday.

“Should we invite them?” 

“We don’t even know their name, so what’s the point?” 

“Yeah you’re right. Going out doesn’t seem like their vibe anyways.”

“So are we going or what?”

You hadn’t even put faces to names before your flatmates had ruled you out as one of them. You had managed to become friendless without even trying. Sometimes a flatmate would come to you if they had a problem with the wifi or they wanted to know whether they could use your milk in the fridge, but other than that you were left alone.

Like tonight.

You were trying your best to study for an upcoming test in a few weeks, seeing as you had nothing else to do, but your flatmates were pre-drinking and it was so loud.

The music was thumping away in the kitchen and they must have invited more people over as there were lots of voices. Too many voices for comfort. 

Your room was small but it was yours.

It was cosy with fairy lights strung up on your walls and crossing the ceilings. There was a huge pinboard of memorabilia that you had brought from home. Some were photos of you and your mum. Some were photos you had taken of your few friends back home. Most were of your boyfriend, Spencer.

In fact a lot of the other tat on your board was shared property between you and Spencer. There were cinema tickets from dates and tiny handmade cards from him to you. 

It was your safety wall, because every time you looked at it you reminded yourself that you weren’t completely alone. 

<.><.><.>

Your phone rang 15 minutes later.

“Hey, you.” You smiled, putting your pen down in a hurry to speak to your boyfriend.

“Hey you, back.”

It was always so good to hear his voice. No matter how far or near he was, his voice was the one comfort in the world that you would crawl home to. 

“You okay? I thought your text said you were going out for drinks with the team?” 

“Plans fell through.” He didn’t sound too bothered.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” 

“Don’t know, really.” You shrugged even though he couldn’t see. “So where are you now?”

“Funny story…” 

“Okay?”

“I’m like five minutes away from you.” 

You sat up straight in your chair. 

Your attention turned from Spencer to the raving music from the kitchen. It was loud and thumping and it was a wonder that Spencer hadn’t commented on it yet. 

It had taken a while for you to come clean to Spencer about how rubbish your flatmates were, but luckily for you Spencer was the best boyfriend in the world and he only lived half an hour away. Whenever he could he would always come and spend time with you.

There was even that one occasion that he stayed in the library all night with you to practice for a test. No one was better than him.

“Is that okay?” Spencer asked, having noted your silence.

“You’ve saved my night.”

“Well they don’t call me a ‘hero’ for nothing.”

You laughed, “Nice try. I’m not feeding your ego any more than that.” You heard him laugh too.

“Shall I come up or do you want to go somewhere?” Spencer asked.

“Depends.”

“On…?”

“Whether Alicia is going to flirt with you again. I do not need my evil flatmate accidentally tricking you into falling in love with her. It’s probably her master plan.”

Alicia had taken it upon herself to try and smooth talk Spencer when he had first visited. Apparently she couldn’t believe that ‘someone like him’ was dating ‘someone like you.’ That had been a real kick in the teeth. Spencer had pretended to be oblivious and shut your bedroom door in her face though, so that had been a small victory.

Since then you had teased Spencer about the interaction. He had obviously talked about how teasing was your way of deflecting talking about your jealousy, but whatever.

“Alicia is going to be your villain origin story. I can feel it.”

“You’re damn right.”

“I know.”

“Right. You need to tone that ego down before I see you.” You joked, causing him to laugh back.

“Okay but seriously, do you want me to come up? I look like a serial killer waiting to pounce down here.”

You stood up from your chair and moved over to the window. It only opened a smidge, but it was enough to see Spencer standing four floors below. You gave him a big smile and a small wave, which he returned.

“You kind of do look like a serial killer. Why are you dressed all in black?” You asked whilst still looking at him from the window.

“Y/N!” He whisper-shouted your name. 

“Okay I’m coming.” You shut your window and picked up your flat keys, “Just don’t murder anyone whilst I come and get you.” 

“I swear to…”

Before he could finish you hung up on him.

[iamharryhale]

Buck: Hey, what’s the wifi password again?

Eddie: The best moment of our lives.

Buck, typing: Huh. Didn’t work though.

Eddie: Did you capitalize the ‘w’ in wedding?

Buck, quickly erasing ‘meeting mickey mouse in disney world’: Yes, yes, you’re right, my love.

[ajortga]

comfort person

pairing: sam carpenter x female reader

summary: sammy spends time with you after a long day, giving you all the love money can't buy.

word count: 1.7k+

a/n: first sam fic, just had this idea and plan on writing more of her later on. more jenna fics will be out soon:). thank you for 600 followers<3

-

Sam is greeted with the sight of your figure waddling to her after school, her hands making way to her helmet that protects her head. As she takes it off and feels the cool breeze flow through her hair, she her heart strings tug when your smile widens and you walk faster to her.

“Hi, baby,” she says, kissing your forehead gently while playing with your hair. Her arms wrap around you as soon as she places her helmet against the seating of her motorcycle.

Immediately you cling onto her, burying your face into her chest because that’s the only place your head can reach. Her scent invades your senses, sweet and slightly musky from her leather jacket.

Sam peppers kisses against your hair, stroking it softly. It warms her heart (that’s meant to be tough) seeing your slightly grumpy façade melt as soon as her protective arms wrap around you. But, could you not say the same for her? Seeing the way your girlfriend’s eyes soften like ice cream on a hot summer day. Sam isn’t the closed off person that your best friends see, not your Sammy.

She’s the sweetest, making you melt into her arms whenever you have a bad day, cuddles and kisses at night, soothing tummy rubs for bad stomach aches. 

“Hi, Sammy.” You look up at her, eyes a little tired with her arms snug around your waist as she brushes a strand away from your face, studying you.

She softly smiles at you, rubbing your cheek. “Tired?” She asks, a little worried.

You nod, “Just a little. Too many tests.”

“That’s not good,” the taller girl says, voice etched with concern. “You were up studying.” She pauses for a moment, before lifting you on the motorcycle seat, behind her. “What about this? I’ll make you feel better, are you willing to go somewhere or do you want to stay home? I have a surprise.”

You murmur incoherently against her chest, a few muffled words before saying, “Mm willing to go somewhere.”

Sam kisses your forehead, “Okay, hold onto me. When we get home I’ll give you all the cuddles in the world, cook you dinner, and turn on your favorite movie. It’s Friday anyway.”

Your girlfriend turns around and places her helmet on your head, making sure that you’re safe and comfortable before taking off, a soft vroom sounding.

You drive through the buildings and city of Woodsboro, people spilling coffee, apartments into view, parties beginning to happen as you cling onto Sam’s waist.

A turn here, brake here, vroom there. Your eyes close, nuzzling into Sam’s back. It’s not long before you two come to a stop when you open your eyes. 

“Build-A-Bear?” you question, looking at your girlfriend who is grinning at you.

“You know I can’t ignore the way you keep checking on my phone if that Pochacco plush is sold out, right? My whole search history is, “Pochacco plush build a bear” or “Is Pochacco still at Build-A-Bear stores?” Don’t even get me started with, “Why is Pochacco build-a-bear stuffed animal so expensive on eBay?” So we’re going to find that stuffed animal.” Sam scrunches her nose, seeing the way you embarrassingly smile.

For some reason, Sam’s internet on her phone works better than yours, so you catch yourself desperate to see if your Build-A-Bear plush you wanted is still out of stock online.

She ties the helmet on your head against the handles of her motorcycle, extending her hand for you to hold.

You take it as you both walk into the store. “I don’t understand how your phone works faster than mine, Sammy. You barely use it!” 

Sam rolls her eyes, “Not my fault that the wifi just favorites me, mi vida. Come on, we’re gonna get you that plushie.”

Your arm clings onto hers as you place your head on her shoulder, a way for you to show your affection. It’s always sweet to Sam, seeing your clinginess whenever you’re with her. You're skipping with her, teeth shown in a toothy, happy smile.

She doesn’t understand how you do it, she’s supposed to be closed-off to everyone except for Tara. Her sister even has to tease her for it because she finds herself buying flowers for you and making a Spotify playlist for you. “It’s cute, Sam.” Tara assures her, pinching her shoulder.

Sam holds the door for you, in which you immediately cling back onto her. Cool breeze surrounded you both from the AC, the comfy atmosphere of stuffed animals and outfits. You drag her to the Sanrio section where Pochaccos were waiting for you.

Before she could even speak, you turned to her, holding an unstuffed Pochacco while wearing puppy eyes. A smile cracks onto her face as she pulls you into her chest, “Is that all you want? Shouldn’t we get him some clothes so he isn’t.. You know, unclothed?”

“Naked,” you correct, looking up when she rolls her eyes and nods. “Yes, naked. Do you have to make me say it?”

You sniff, “Yes, I do actually. Okay, help me choose the clothes, Sammy!”

As you two hold on to each other while looking at the colorful clothing, she gently circles her thumb against your palm. She reluctantly agrees when you ask her to have her speak for the voice box. You didn’t want to sleep without hearing her. But sometimes, she had to work late, and this was a cute option.

Sam goes through the clothes, pulling out a purple bikini, “What about this one?”

You stare at it, before bursting out into a laugh. “Sammy, Pochacco is a boy! He can’t wear a bikini!”

“Oh yeah? Says who, Y/N? This is a free country!” She argues while your head is buried into her chest, the scent of musk from her leather jacket filling your senses.

“Yes it’s a free country! But I was wanting Pochacco to wear something that fit his personality!”

She sighs, relenting as she puts away the bikini. “I thought our Pochacco would look very fashionable wearing a purple bikini. Oh!” She pulls out a flying ace outfit, with pilot goggles and a fluffy brown bomber jacket. “This one?”

Sam knows she made the right choice as you give her a toothy grin. A grin that makes her smile too. “Okay! Yay! That one.” You watch when she helps you carry the outfits and your bags. 

“How about we get him some overalls too? He can’t always go out wearing the same outfit, can he?”

“I guess not,” you sigh dramatically, “Overalls would be very cute.”

You two dig through the outfits before being able to find the jean overalls. “I have another idea for an outfit we should get.” 

Your girlfriend turns to you while grabbing a pair of tiny overalls, “Oh?” She tilts her head, “What would that be, mi vida?”

The tall brunette feels your hands untangle from hers before you run away, coming back 10 seconds later with your nose scrunched, holding a familiar purple bikini. Her eyes gleam, grinning at you. “Told you, fashionable.”

You roll your eyes.

~

By the time you two are about to checkout, you both are holding a lot of outfits. (Sam insisted as she got your stuffy shoes, hats, scarfs, hell, even a dress.) It made your cheeks burn as you had to look away from her to not let a smile break throughout your face when she was looking for a “I love Sam” or “I love Y/N” shirt. Unfortunately, she had to resort to a “I love you” shirt instead. 

Your forehead is peppered with kisses when you both are in line. You let the sweetness of Sam comfort you as you nuzzle her, burying your body against her.

“Talk about a cute couple,” the two girls say behind you, jealousy and admiration in their tone. 

You two get to a register as Sam pays. Next thing you know, the Pochacco is taken out of your hand to be stuffed. A soft whirring sound buzzes from the stuffing station, fuzz flying in the large container with a bear to decorate on top. You shiver from the AC that is starting to get a little too chilly.

Sam smiles down at you, her fingers threading through your hair. They begin to stuff your Pochacco, his body starting to inflate until it looks like a cute puppy. 

“All done!” The worker says, handing the puppy to you with a sweet smile. 

The cute face stares back at you as you hug him tight, a soft song playing when you squeeze him.

“I’ll get the custom voice box tonight, promise.” Sam says, draping her leather jacket over you, catching the way you begin to feel cold. 

“I love you,” you whisper, letting her kiss you softly. You hold Pochacco up for her to hold, the leather sleeves slightly oversized. You two leave the store and sit against a chair together.

He’s cute, Sam thinks, squishing him gently as you two begin to dress him. You start him with some overalls, black converse, and a heart headband. She notices how you look so happy. It makes her heart squeeze. 

“Come on, baby. Let’s get you some cinnamon rolls, okay? Then we can cuddle up and watch a movie when we get home.” Your arm links with hers as you both head back to the motorcycle, Sam making sure to stay on the side with the cars on them as you two walk.

The rest of the day, you spend time cuddling in bed with a fluffy blanket wrapped around you two. You don't let your stuffed animal go whatsoever. (Sam doesn't want to admit that you brought an extra chair to make the fluffy creature sit at dinner.)

"An extra meatball for him," You point at Pochacco as she sighs, pouring some spaghetti on a small plate.

-

Whenever Sam comes home late, she's greeted with the sight of you, hugging the plushie and squeezing the voice box like you'll die if you don't hear her.

"Hi, sweetheart. Just wanted to let you know that I love you and miss you. Hold tight, I'm always thinking about you and will give you so many cuddles when I get home, okay? I love you mi vida."

You sniff, burying your face into the plushie as you keep squeezing the arm, a different lullaby of Sam playing every time.

[beat-the-morning]

🖤Common Stage || Hozier x Reader🖤

READ ON TUMBLR UNDER CUT || READ ON AO3

Rating: 18+ || smut

Tags: coming in pants, cum eating, cum swallowing, face-fucking, oral sex (both receiving), semi-public humiliation, hand jobs (in the dressing room), tour bus sex

No beta we die like the poor thing in the road

Summary: You tease Andrew too much before a show and he cums on stage, he makes you make it up to him.

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Sorry for not posting for a month, it will happen again. Probably. I hope not. But you know me so :/ anyway enjoy :) also that suit in the picture is the one he wears in the fic :)

💙FULL FIC UNDER CUT💙

Following your boyfriend on his tour had been easier than you expected. Yes, it was overwhelming sometimes, and having to live on the road wasn’t exactly easy, but you wouldn’t change it for anything. You had travelled around the world for practically free while being able to be with Andrew while he did his shows, and your new job was long distance anyway, so all you needed was wifi and somewhere to plug your laptop to charge.

You loved this tour life, everything about it was fun and exciting, though if you had to choose, your favourite moments, or at least the one where you had the most fun, were when you were alone with Andrew, either in his bedroom in the tour bus, a restaurant, or, like right now, backstage before a concert, where you could tease him endlessly and maybe even have a bit of fun if you were fast enough.

Today though, you were playing with fire, sitting on the couch of his dressing room backstage after he’d changed into his concert outfit. You looked him up and down as he checked himself in the mirror, a smile on your face and a plan in your mind already getting started.

“I love this suit on you.” You said softly as you walked up to him, your arm reaching to hold onto his. He smiled, avoiding your grip and placing his hand on your lower back.

“Do you, baby?” He teased with a smirk.

“Yeah, it looks so good.” You looked up at him with puppy eyes and feigned innocence, wanting your next words to take him by surprise. “Can you fuck me with it on? Please?”

His eyes widened, a laugh escaping him as he processed what you’d just said. “Maybe,” He ran his thumb over your bottom lip. “But it’ll have to wait until after the concert.”

“Unfair.” You whined, your hands moved to his belt, playfully pulling at it without actually undoing it.

“Baby, don’t.” He scolded you, though you felt his hips buckle towards you, his smirk never going away.

“I’m not doing anything.” You protested.

“Liar, you’re trying to tempt me.” His eyes wandered your face and body, his smile widening when he felt your hand moving to palm his crotch, his cock already hardening. “You know I have to be on stage in less than thirty minutes, we can’t do this right now.” He said firmly, though he had no intention of stopping you, or himself, his hand already moving from your lower back to your ass, squeezing it roughly.

“So? We can be quick.”

“Not with how you’re behaving.”

“What do you mean?” You teased, rubbing your hand over his clothed cock, feeling it hardening more and more by the second. You moved your hand to his waistband, easily slipping it under his pants despite the belt, you wondered why he even wore it in the first place if he wasn’t going to fasten it correctly.

“You’re playing with fire, baby.” He warned you as he leaned down to kiss you, though you both knew it wasn’t a serious warning.

“I love fire.” You giggled, then moved your hand lower until it was wrapped around his cock as best you could, pumping it slowly.

Andrew let go of your ass and grabbed the table behind you for stability, he moaned under his breath, his eyes fluttering closed. You smiled, moving your other hand to the back of his head and pulling him down until his neck was up to your mouth, where you started peppering kisses. He moaned into your shoulder, his hips buckling ever so slightly as you jerked him off.

His phone buzzed on the table, the screen lighting up with a notification that you both promptly ignored. It was a message from the stage manager, he had ten minutes before he had to go on stage. His left hand gripped the table while his right moved under your shirt, caressing your skin and lightly scratching it with his nails. You fastened your movements, his moans becoming more high-pitched. Your hand moved painfully slow, wanting to drag this out for as long as you could.

“Get on your knees, baby,” he ordered, his voice raspy, “use your pretty mouth on me.” You shook your head.

“Can’t,” you whispered against his neck. “Someone might come in, this is safer.”

“Don’t care.” He let out a strangled moan as he spoke. “Please.”

Hearing him beg was a rare sight, the way his voice cracked and his whole body shook with desire stirred up something in you, your lips continued to kiss all over his neck, careful not to leave any bites or marks so he wouldn’t have any while he was performing. His hips buckled lightly into your hand, he was close, you slowly moved your free hand to his pants with the intent of pulling them down so he wouldn’t ruin his suit, the universe had other plans though. Someone knocked on the door and started turning the handle, your hand flew out of Andrew’s underwear and he quickly fixed his trousers as his manager came in.

“Jesus christ, Andrew!” She screamed, marching over to him with haste, “you’re late! Everyone’s waiting for you, let’s go!”

Andrew followed after her, not before kissing your cheek and winking at you, a silent way to tell you this little game wasn’t over yet. You composed yourself and walked out of the dressing room a couple minutes after, taking Andrew’s clothes to the tour bus since he hadn’t had the time to take them there himself thanks to you. You ran to the side of the stage right after, you sat on top of a box as you heard him sing, he was halfway through a song, almost a third through the concert, but he was still as hard as when you last touched him, you smiled to yourself, the outline of his cock only obvious to you thanks to the patchwork suit he was wearing.

Andrew looked at you, his face lighting up with a mix of happiness and lust, he kept stealing glances at you throughout the show, all until he started playing Angel of Small Death, specifically closer to the guitar solo, you could see him getting very into it, he was making faces you knew too well, practically moaning into the microphone before he finally stepped away to do the solo, getting too much into it again, his eyes almost glazed over as they found yours, and then, he threw his head back, biting his lips, he’d just came, on stage, in front of thousands of people, he knew, you knew, you both prayed no one else did. He went back to the microphone to finish the song, his voice more whimpery and rougher than before, his legs were shaking ever so slightly, he had turned fidgety and his face was practically red. You had to close your legs together and bite the inside of your cheeks to stop a moan from escaping, and to make things worse, he was still hard.

The rest of the concert went by too slowly, almost torturously so, but it finally ended, Andrew bowed and took a picture with the band, quickly leaving the stage and walking towards you, ignoring everyone else. His eyes bore into you, they were burning, and you didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing for you. He grabbed your arm, dragging you along with him to somewhere else, a few people tried stopping him to talk, but he quickly dismissed them with whatever the shortest excuse was, though after the fourth person, no one else approached him.

He took you to the tour bus you shared with him, closing the door behind him and lowering all the blinds. A silence fell, the tension palpable in the air.

“Did you actually..?” You asked, trying to fight a giggle.

“You already know.” He replied bluntly, his eyes full of fire. “Don’t laugh, or else.”

“Sorry,” you bit your lip, putting on puppy eyes to see if that would reduce the punishment you already knew was coming.

“Don’t even try with the eyes, they’re not working,” he grabbed your waist roughly, his nails digging into your skin though your clothes. “Anything to say for yourself before I start telling you what’s gonna happen next?”

“Can I clean you up?” You asked, still trying not to laugh, “please, sir? I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Liar.” His grip on you tightened, his voice almost a growl. “I can tell you’re trying not to laugh, you little brat.”

You looked up at him, unable to say anything even though you wanted to, he leaned into your neck, nipping at it lightly.

“You’re going to clean me up, yes, but then I’m going to use that pretty mouth you have,” he whispered into your ear, “and I’ll see about maybe letting you get off after if I feel like it. Got that?”

“Yes, sir.” You bit your lip, practically shaking with excitement.

“Good girl, now go to the bedroom and get on your knees at the foot of the bed.” He ordered, lightly smacking your ass as you left.

He followed suit, taking off his patchwork jacket and unbuttoning his shirt on the way. You kneeled on the spot he told you, he undid his belt and took off his pants, he examined the inside of them as he sat on the bed in front of you, you laid your head on his thigh, your eyes focused on the outline of his still hard cock in his boxer briefs, a dark spot on them from when he came on stage. He groaned lightly, muttering under his breath. “Six-hundred euros just to get cum on them…” He threw them off to somewhere else in the room afterwards, you didn’t know or care where exactly.

“Look at you, so pretty with your head on my lap.” He caressed your hair lovingly, his voice now soft.

You leaned into his touch like a cat, your eyes looking up into his, silently asking for permission to start.

“Go on, take off my boxers and clean me up, be good for me, baby.” He smiled, lifting his hips just enough for you to completely take off his underwear. His cock sprung free, fully hard and covered in his cum. You moved your mouth closer, licking off the remains of his orgasm off his balls before moving to his shaft, Andrew moaned softly, his hand still on your hair, scratching at your head as he held onto it. His spent travelled down your throat as you licked him completely clean, your happy humming almost like a song to Andrew, you kissed his cock along your way, worshipping him in the process. A few moans escaped him as you used your hand to jerk him slightly, just to make sure you got him as clean as possible.

Once finished, you kissed his tip, making him hiss through his teeth, you knew exactly what he wanted the second he pulled your head closer to himself. Your mouth opened, your hands guiding his cock to your mouth, you bobbed your head slightly up and down, still not deepthroating him. You hummed as you took him in your mouth, he moaned without restraint.

“That’s it, good girl, my perfect little slut, you love this don’t you?” He panted softly, throwing his head back for a few moments as more moans escaped him. His grip on your hair tightened, his hand starting to guide your head to take him deeper into your mouth. You let him take control of your movements, holding your thumb in your fist to get rid of your gag reflex as he sped up. Drool ran down your chin as the sound of Andrew’s moans filled up the room.

He suddenly pulled your head away, standing up from the bed and pulling your head so it was at the same height as his hips.

“I want to fuck your mouth properly, are you okay with that, baby?” He asked, barely able to restrain himself.

“When have I not been?” You teased, smiling wide.

“That’s not an answer, do you want this yes or no?” He said sternly, his cock just inches from your face.

“Yes.” You answered, your mouth watering. He immediately pushed himself into your mouth, letting out a loud groan. He pushed you all the way, your nose pressed against the trimmed curls at the base of his cock.

“What’s the safeword for when you’re like this?” He asked, wanting to make sure you remembered how to stop if you needed it. You moved your hand up and tapped on his thigh, he smiled. “Very good.”

He started thrusting into your mouth, starting slow and careful but quickly losing control, he fucked your mouth with wild abandon, his balls slapping against your chin. His moans were loud and rough, he’d lost all care for if someone could hear him, he was completely lost in your warmth. “You feel so fuckin’ good baby, god i love your mouth so much, my perfect little cocksleeve, fuck!” His rhythm started to falter, his thrusts becoming erratic and twitchy. He was close, you both knew it, and after just a few more thrusts, he pushed all the way into your mouth and spilled himself down your throat, you swallowed everything you could.

Andrew pulled out of your mouth slowly and carefully, hissing when your teeth accidentally scraped his cock just the tiniest bit. He caressed your hair, almost petting you, you leaned into his hand, absolutely loving the simple affection. “Was I good?” You asked, your voice slightly hoarse.

“You were perfect,” he smiled, pulling you up to your feet, and kissing you lovingly. “Do you need anything, water, cuddles, an orgasm?”

You laughed softly at his last suggestion, “I would love that last one, actually.”

“Thought you would,” he smiled, kissing you again. His hands moved to your waistband, starting to pull down your pants. “How do you want it?”

“Eat me?” You asked, taking off your shirt.

“With pleasure.” He replied, taking off your bra as you stepped off your remaining clothes. Andrew smiled, throwing you into bed and climbing over you, only to start kissing down your neck and collarbone. “You’re lucky I can’t stay mad at you for long.” He added with a soft growl.

“Yeah?” You teased, moaning softly.

“Yes, I shouldn’t be doing this right now.” He left a hickey on your collarbone, kissing down to your breasts, sucking one of your nipples before speaking again. “I should be leaving you begging for me after that little number you pulled earlier.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” you moaned, a cheeky smile on your face. “Ah!” You whined after he lightly bit your now hard nipple.

“Don’t try me, love.” He warned you, you nodded. He kissed all the way down to your mound, nuzzling his nose and lips into your bush before he fully settled between your legs, licking your pussy and moaning at the taste.

You moaned loudly as he licked you, his face completely buried in you. He moved slightly lower and pushed his tongue into you, fucking you with it as his nose pressed into your clit. You moved your hips slowly, trying to get some more friction, but Andrew stopped it quickly, his hands moving to hold down your hips. He shook his head for a second, making you cry out in pleasure.

“Andy! Fuck! Oh my god!” You practically whined, trying to move your hips once more only for his arms to push down with more force. Your hands moved to his hair, holding onto it like a lifeline, you pulled him closer, he chuckled. His beard scratched at your inner thighs as he doubled his efforts, moving his face more since he knew you loved it when his nose rubbed against your clit. Your legs started to shake, your breathing became erratic and whiny, your moans turned more and more high pitched until you finally came undone, your whole lower body twitching with pleasure and your mind foggy with bliss. Andrew didn’t stop until your moans turned into whines from overstimulation, when he did, his face was soaked with your essence.

He climbed back up your body, laying down next to you and pulling you close, you melted into his arms, he kissed you all over your face, the last one on your lips.

“You’re banned, indefinitely, from being in my dressing room with me before a show from now on, by the way.” He said into your hair.

“Why? Do you hate me?” You teased, unable to stop your giggle.

“No, you dramatic baby, I love you a lot.” He pinched your cheek, smiling lovingly. “But I’m not risking cumming on stage again just because you like to play with me.”

“I didn’t even do it on purpose, but whatever,” you rolled your eyes playfully. “I love you, too, by the way.”

“I know,” he kissed your cheek. “And I know,” he added in a whisper, kissing your lips again.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Utah’s getting some of America’s best broadband

TOMORROW (May 17), I'm at the INTERNET ARCHIVE in SAN FRANCISCO to keynote the 10th anniversary of the AUTHORS ALLIANCE.

Residents of 21 cities in Utah have access to some of the fastest, most competitively priced broadband in the country, at speeds up to 10gb/s and prices as low as $75/month. It's uncapped, and the connections are symmetrical: perfect for uploading and downloading. And it's all thanks to the government.

This broadband service is, of course, delivered via fiber optic cable. Of course it is. Fiber is vastly superior to all other forms of broadband delivery, including satellites, but also cable and DSL. Fiber caps out at 100tb/s, while cable caps out at 50gb/s – that is, fiber is 1,000 times faster:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/why-fiber-vastly-superior-cable-and-5g

Despite the obvious superiority of fiber, America has been very slow to adopt it. Our monopolistic carriers act as though pulling fiber to our homes is an impossible challenge. All those wires that currently go to your house, from power-lines to copper phone-lines, are relics of a mysterious, fallen civilization and its long-lost arts. Apparently we could no more get a new wire to your house than we could build the pyramids using only hand-tools.

In a sense, the people who say we can't pull wires anymore are right: these are relics of a lost civilization. Specifically, electrification and later, universal telephone service was accomplished through massive federal grants under the New Deal – grants that were typically made to either local governments or non-profit co-operatives who got everyone in town connected to these essential modern utilities.

Today – thanks to decades of neoliberalism and its dogmatic insistence that governments can't do anything and shouldn't try, lest they break the fragile equilibrium of the market – we have lost much of the public capacity that our grandparents took for granted. But in the isolated pockets where this capacity lives on, amazing things happen.

Since 2015, residents of Jackson County, KY – one of the poorest counties in America – have enjoyed some of the country's fastest, cheapest, most reliable broadband. The desperately poor Appalachian county is home to a rural telephone co-op, which grew out of its rural electrification co-op, and it used a combination of federal grants and local capacity to bring fiber to every home in the county, traversing dangerous mountain passes with a mule named "Ole Bub" to reach the most remote homes. The result was an immediately economic uplift for the community, and in the longer term, the county had reliable and effective broadband during the covid lockdowns:

https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/the-one-traffic-light-town-with-some-of-the-fastest-internet-in-the-us

Contrast this with places where the private sector has the only say over who gets broadband, at what speed, and at what price. America is full of broadband deserts – deserts that strand our poorest people. Even in the hearts of our largest densest cities, whole neighborhoods can't get any broadband. You won't be surprised to learn that these are the neighborhoods that were historically redlined, and that the people who live in them are Black and brown, and also live with some of the highest levels of pollution and its attendant sicknesses:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/10/flicc/#digital-divide

These places are not set up for success under the best of circumstances, and during the lockdowns, they suffered terribly. You think your kid found it hard to go to Zoom school? Imagine what life was like for kids who attended remote learning while sitting on the baking tarmac in a Taco Bell parking lot, using its free wifi:

https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2020/09/02/elem-s02.html

ISPs loathe competition. They divide up the country into exclusive territories like the Pope dividing up the "new world" and do not trouble one another by trying to sell to customers outside of "their" turf. When Frontier – one of the worst of America's terrible ISPs – went bankrupt, we got to see their books, and we learned two important facts:

The company booked one million customers who had no alternative as an asset, because they would pay more for slower broadband, and Frontier could save a fortune by skipping maintenance, and charging these customers for broadband even through multi-day outages; and

Frontier knew that it could make a billion dollars in profit over a decade by investing in fiber build-out, but it chose not to, because stock analysts will downrank any carrier that made capital investments that took more than five years to mature. Because Frontier's execs were paid primarily in stock, they chose to strand their customers with aging copper connections and to leave a billion dollars sitting on the table, so that their personal net worth didn't suffer a temporary downturn:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/04/frontiers-bankruptcy-reveals-cynical-choice-deny-profitable-fiber-millions

ISPs maintain the weirdest position: that a) only the private sector can deliver broadband effectively, but b) to do so, they'll need massive, unsupervised, no-strings-attached government handouts. For years, America went along with this improbable scheme, which is why Trump's FCC chairman Ajit Pai gave the carriers $45 billion in public funds to string slow, 19th-century-style copper lines across rural America:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/27/all-broadband-politics-are-local/

Now, this is obviously untrue, and people keep figuring out that publicly provisioned broadband is the only way for America to get the same standard of broadband connectivity that our cousins in other high-income nations enjoy. In order to thwart the public's will, the cable and telco lobbyists joined ALEC, the far-right, corporatist lobbying shop, and drafted "model legislation" banning cities and counties from providing broadband, even in places the carriers chose not to serve:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/19/culture-war-bullshit-stole-your-broadband/

Red states across America adopted these rules, and legislators sold this to their base by saying that this was just "keeping the government out of their internet" (even as every carrier relied on an exclusive, government-granted territorial charter, often with massive government subsidies).

ALEC didn't target red states exclusively because they had pliable, bribable conservative lawmakers. Red states trend rural, and rural places are the most likely sites for public fiber. Partly, that's because low-density areas are harder to make a business case for, but also because these are also the places that got electricity and telephone through New Deal co-ops, which are often still in place.

Just about the only places in America where people like their internet service are the 450+ small towns where the local government provides fiber. These places vote solidly Republican, and it was their beloved conservative lawmakers whom ALEC targeted to enact laws banning their equally beloved fiber – keep voting for Christmas, turkeys, and see where it gets you:

https://communitynets.org/content/community-network-map

But spare a little sympathy for the conservative movement here. The fact that reality has a pronounced leftist bias must be really frustrating for the ideological project of insisting that anything the market can't provide is literally impossible.

Which brings me back to Utah, a red state with a Republican governor and legislature, and a national leader in passing unconstitutional, unhinged, unworkable legislation as part of an elaborate culture war kabuki:

https://www.npr.org/2023/03/24/1165975112/utah-passes-an-age-verification-law-for-anyone-using-social-media

For more than two decades, a coalition of 21 cities in Utah have been building out municipal fiber. The consortium calls itself UTOPIA: "Utah Telecommunication Open Infrastructure Agency":

https://www.utopiafiber.com/faqs/

UTOPIA pursues a hybrid model: they run "open access" fiber and then let anyone offer service over it. This can deliver the best of both worlds: publicly provisioned, blazing-fast fiber to your home, but with service provided by your choice of competing carriers. That means that if Moms for Liberty captures you local government, you're not captive to their ideas about what sites your ISP should block.

As Karl Bode writes for Techdirt, Utahns in UTOPIA regions have their choice of 18 carriers, and competition has driven down prices and increased speeds. Want uncapped 1gb fiber? That's $75/month. Want 10gb fiber? That's $150:

https://www.techdirt.com/2024/05/15/utah-locals-are-getting-cheap-10-gbps-fiber-thanks-to-local-governments/

UTOPIA's path to glory wasn't an easy one. The dismal telco monopolists Qwest and Lumen sued to put them out of business, delaying the rollout by years:

https://www.deseret.com/2005/7/22/19903471/utopia-responds-to-qwest-lawsuit/

UTOPIA has been profitable and self-sustaining for over 15 years and shows no sign of slowing. But 17 states still ban any attempt at this.

Keeping up such an obviously bad policy requires a steady stream of distractions and lies. The "government broadband doesn't work" lie has worn thin, so we've gotten a string of new lies about wireless service, insisting that fiber is obviated by point-to-point microwave relays, or 5g, or satellite service.

There's plenty of places where these services make sense. You're not going to be able to use fiber in a moving car, so yeah, you're going to want 5g (and those 5g towers are going to need to be connected to each other with fiber). Microwave relay service can fill the gap until fiber can be brought in, and it's great for temporary sites (especially in places where it doesn't rain, because rain, clouds, leaves and other obstructions are deadly for microwave relays). Satellite can make sense for an RV or a boat or remote scientific station.

But wireless services are orders of magnitude slower than fiber. With satellite service, you share your bandwidth with an entire region or even a state. If there's only a couple of users in your satellite's footprint, you might get great service, but when your carrier adds a thousand more customers, your connection is sliced into a thousand pieces.

That's also true for everyone sharing your fiber trunk, but the difference is that your fiber trunk supports speeds that are tens of thousands of times faster than the maximum speeds we can put through freespace electromagnetic spectrum. If we need more fiber capacity, we can just fish a new strand of fiber through the conduit. And while you can increase the capacity of wireless by increasing your power and bandwidth, at a certain point you start pump so much EM into the air that birds start falling out of the sky.

Every wireless device in a region shares the same electromagnetic spectrum, and we are only issued one such spectrum per universe. Each strand of fiber, by contrast, has its own little pocket universe, containing a subset of that spectrum.

Despite all its disadvantages, satellite broadband has one distinct advantage, at least from an investor's perspective: it can be monopolized. Just as we only have one electromagnetic spectrum, we also only have one sky, and the satellite density needed to sustain a colorably fast broadband speed pushes the limit of that shared sky:

https://spacenews.com/starlink-vs-the-astronomers/

Private investors love monopoly telecoms providers, because, like pre-bankruptcy Frontier, they are too big to care. Back in 2021, Altice – the fourth-largest cable operator in America – announced that it was slashing its broadband speeds, to be "in line with other ISPs":

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/27/immortan-altice/#broadband-is-a-human-right

In other words: "We've figured out that our competitors are so much worse than we are that we are deliberately degrading our service because we know you will still pay us the same for less."

This is why corporate shills and pro-monopolists prefer satellite to municipal fiber. Sure, it's orders of magnitude slower than fiber. Sure, it costs subscribers far more. Sure, it's less reliable. But boy oh boy is it profitable.

The thing is, reality has a pronounced leftist bias. No amount of market magic will conjure up new electromagnetic spectra that will allow satellite to attain parity with fiber. Physics hates Starlink.

Yeah, I'm talking about Starlink. Of course I am. Elon Musk basically claims that his business genius can triumph over physics itself.

That's not the only vast, impersonal, implacable force that Musk claims he can best with his incredible reality-distortion field. Musk also claims that he can somehow add so many cars to the road that he will end traffic – in other words, he will best geometry too:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

Geometry hates Tesla, and physics hates Starlink. Reality has a leftist bias. The future is fiber, and public transit. These are both vastly preferable, more efficient, safer, more reliable and more plausible than satellite and private vehicles. Their only disadvantage is that they fail to give an easily gulled, thin-skinned compulsive liar more power over billions of people. That's a disadvantage I can live with.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/16/symmetrical-10gb-for-119/#utopia

Image: 4028mdk09 (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rote_LED_Fiberglasleuchte.JPG

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

[sashi-ya]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ エロチックトバー２０２４> MDNI / EXPLICIT CONTENT

TURBULENCE ✈ JUGRAM HASCHWALTH X F! READER ＫINKTOBER DAY 27: PLANE SEX

🐙 requested by: Anonymous. Hiii, the theme for the event is a bomb😳Do you write for the Sternitters too? (Bleach). If so, I’d take a Jugram Haschwalth for the airplane sex kink. The gender can be female or gn, I don’t mind. Thanks in advance! ⚠️ tw: mdni. explicit content. modern au. business trip. airplane sex. 🐙 wc: 2.4k // kinktober 24 masterlist // join the taglist

Ah, he has always been next to the general director. He even works more than him. Jugram this, Jugram that. Go here, go there… 

“Jugram-sama, I just received an e-“ you inform but get interrupted by him. “I know…” the blonde answers, checking his phone for the third time since you both seated on that plane. 

Uncomfortable, both try to get your legs ready for a lot of hours over the clouds. No matter how much you were -the Silbern company- willing to pay, a last-minute flight across the world only had barely two tickets available on economy. Forget first class, not even a single one free on business class. 

However, if Yhwach ordered Jugram to do it, he must do it. And you, his assistant, tried your best to find accommodation… took whatever it took. 

You keep quiet as his crystalline eyes fix on the screen of one of his six phones. What an amazing beauty this man holds, with manly features but still delicate to be mistaken by an angel… still, he might be the loneliest of them all, by choice perhaps, pushing everybody away… 

“Did you pay wifi on board, right? I’ll need it” he utters, as cold as always. As serious as ever. 

You nod, searching for a little card with a special code they gave you when you were checking in. 

“Here, Jugram-sama” you give it to him, grazing your fingers. He is not really looking at you, he just seems especially glued to the screen. 

It doesn’t take much for the plane’s doors to be finally closed and for a flight attendant to reach your spot. A young beautiful woman, dressed in the airline’s sexy uniform, stops right by your side noticing Jugram still on his phone. 

“Ah, Sir. Excuse me, we are about to take off, you should put your phone down until we reach cruise alt-“ she says, shutting up the moment the blonde looks at her in a very “not amused” grim. 

 The immediate change of that woman when seeing his handsome face isn’t something new for you, in fact, the flight attendant didn’t even notice you were also on your phone. She immediately recognize him, acting all silly and flirtatious towards him. 

“Sorry. Will shut it off in a moment” Jugram says, blocking his phone and sliding it inside the chest pocket of his white suit. 

You do the same, sighing. It’s ok, the flight attendant won’t notice, nor will Jugram. He doesn’t care about you; you are just a mere software that breathes and speaks to help him… or so you think. 

“Fasten it. Tight” he suddenly says, bending just a little to reach for your seatbelt and adjust it closer to your lower stomach. And you gasp, when did he ever cared about your safety? 

You nod, again. Out of words, even more than always. You can’t say much, you just fix your eyes into the little screen in front of you. Hot ears, hot cheeks… a simple touch of this man, and you are sent to heaven. 

And, speaking of heaven, soon and with your ears popping the plane leaves the ground to be finally airborne. In complete silence, the only sounds you are blessed with are the roaring of the engines and the little creeks of the plastic insides of the plane. 

Time flies, they say, when you are comfortable… however, this wasn’t exactly the definition of comfort. You tried to squeeze yourself in that tiny seat, as much as possible. Your left elbow carved into the plane’s fuselage wall, and your right arm crossed over your chest. You don’t wanna take Jugram much space, and as much as you wish, you don’t even dare claiming the middle armrest for your own. 

“You look uncomfortable, (Name)” he mutters, this time with his eyes scanning a haggard magazine. You have no idea how he does it, but he sees you without looking. 

“Not to sound very cocky, but economy nowadays is a torture… we haven’t even left Germany, and my legs are already dead, I wonder if I’ll be able to walk when we get to Japan” you whisper, as the lights of the cabin have already been turned off and some snoring from other passengers filter in between the sound of the engines. 

“Try to rest, we will need energy” he simply says, closing the magazine and turning his head to the side. His eyes closed, but his facial muscles still tensed.

When will you rest, Jugram Haschwalth? 

Seven hours in, and that water bottle you chugged in while bored, has started to affect you. But how to leave your seat to go to the bathroom, if that would mean crawling on top of Jugram who has finally -incredible to you- fallen asleep? 

Yet, your bladder has a limit and after several minutes trying to forget about your necessities, urgence takes over… 

Taking a deep breath before starting to move, you stand up. You hit your head with the overhead compartment and swear in silence. Then, facing Jugram, your left leg goes first, passing over his long legs. And just like this, with your hands on each side of his face, on the headrest, your hips seem like straddled on his, even though your crotches aren’t touching. 

A soft rocking motion, known as turbulence, seems to complot against you as it becomes a little more noticeable. It obviously affects your balance, but you are not willing to wake this man up, much less with you in such position. 

However, Jugram seems to never really rest, and suddenly a pair of hands land on your waist. 

“Careful” he whispers, opening two shining stars per eyes. His hands are strong, his hold making you feel secure. 

“I’m sorry, I had to go to the toile-“

“You should have asked me to move…” he answers back, helping you to reach the aisle. 

You nod, out of words, and quickly run -as best as you can- to the toilet. You can’t normalize your breathing for at least a couple of minutes after you finally relieve yourself and in the mirror in front of you, you try your best to fix your image… 

Yet, seems destiny has decided to play with you, once again…

The up and down motions increase, turbulence becoming more and more noticeable, and a flight attendant asking you to hurry and go back to your seat once you’ve managed to leave the restroom.  

You grunt; why in the world there isn’t something able to deal with turbulence yet? Grabbing anything, really, while you walk to your very uncomfortable seat, you pray for Jugram not to be asleep.

“Uh, Jugram-sama, I’m ba-!” you try to ask for him to move so you can squeeze back into your seat. But, of course, to make it a lot more shamefully to you, turbulence makes you jump. 

The blonde once again snatches you, this time saving you big time not to hurt yourself badly. You get locked in his arms, on top of his lap. Your face close to his, noses almost touching, eyes fixed on each other’s. 

“You ok? Did you hurt yourself? Is your head ok?” he asks, touching the back of your head, grabbing you real close to his body, seriously worried. 

You nod, finally breathing back. 

“I’m ok… thank you for saving me, Jugram-sama” you whisper, letting your forehead rest on his shoulder. You are sure you shouldn’t have done such thing, but you couldn’t help it… it is hella scary to feel like gravity has abandoned you. 

“Don’t… worry” he whispers back, allowing you to rest as much as you wish on him. His hand on your head makes it clear, “stay here if you wish”

The scent of his skin, and the sweet perfume he wears, makes you dizzy… what a delicious combination. The warmth of his flesh on your lips, invites you to kiss him… how much you wish you could do it, but just the way the plane moves will have to do, an indirect kiss that can’t be call as it. 

And, the more the plane moves, the more you softly jump on his lap. And Jugram seems to tense, more and more… is it that maybe the constant graze of your legs on his crotch, the warm breath of your mouth, or your nose buried on his skin it is making it really difficult for him? 

You notice his muscles becoming stiff, and thankful for the darkness surrounding the fuselage, you take a little bit of advantage of the situation… I’m sorry, Jugram-sama, this is a dream came true. 

However, common sense comes back to you; “Sorry, Jugram-sama! I’m gonna go back to my seat. I’m sorry...” you try to stand up, but you can’t. 

“Stay…” he grunts in your ear, pressing your body, harder, against him. This time you can feel a man’s reaction to a beautiful woman jumping on him… 

You look at him; this time your eyes are imbued with lust. You only just needed a plead, a single word… you are just a human, you have been pushed to the limit… You have always wanted him… and apparently, he has always wanted you. 

Perhaps a couple of seconds passed, but to you it felt like an eternity. His hand landed on your cheek, with its fingers reaching the back of your head. 

In silence, trying to recognize each other’s traits with the soft led lights of the bathroom sign on the back of the plane, you spend some more minutes until he devours you in one kiss. 

It is more than magical and also painfully needy; you have no idea if he had been wanting to kiss you since forever, or this is just something out of the blue. And who cares? Kiss me more, Jugram-sama. 

Indecently, the kiss become more and more deep, in a full plane, surrounded by strangers… and his hardness keeps growing, as if was searching for your core to go desperately deep inside. 

“Toilet, go. Wait for me” he commands in between tongues playing. 

You widen your eyes; he wants to fuck you in that tiny bathroom?

“Please…” he adds, again pleading, begging. 

You nod, this time biting your lower lip. He helps you; the turbulence continues but has decreased in intensity. You walk to the bathroom in the back, praying for nobody, including the crew, to see you. 

Your clearly agitated -and horny- imagery reflects on the mirror of the tiny toilet. You wonder how is Jugram going to manage to get inside without being noticed. 

Trust Jugram Haschwalth, he is not only wise, he is rich and the second hand of one of the largest companies in the world… 

“Miss, if I give you my number, would you close the bathroom for me and my assistant? She is not feeling well and I will try to help her. Please, contact me soon, we are soon purchasing a private jet, and we will need a flight attendant like you to join us” 

“Oh! Of course, Jugram-sama! Thank you!! And please, don’t worry, take all the time you need!” 

A sudden knock on the door announces he is here, not even a minute has passed. You open, sticking yourself against the back of the toilet. Amazed you noticed nobody but him around, where are the flight attendants? 

There is no time to think, as he gets inside and closes the door right behind him. Pleased with the loud noises of that Boeing 777, he turns you around. Your belly hits the mini counter, Jugram’s hands lowering your bamboula pants. 

“I don’t know why you chose to wear these today, but I’m so glad you did” he grunts in your ear, as it was hella easy to lower them down and expose your ass. 

You were about to reply it was because of comfort, but it’d be pointless to add anything at all. He lifts your right leg on top of the counter, for better access, feeling your wetness with his free hand. 

His chest hits your back, his chin carved on your shoulder, both looking at each other through the mirror. 

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time… I’m sorry it has to be on a plane’s toilet” he says, smirking. 

For a long time, Jugram-sama? Amazed, amused, impressed… the very first time he is showing you a smile and it’s when he has his fingers inside your folds… 

“I- I don’t- I don’t care…”  you simply answer, because you can’t even think straight; by now, Jugram has started fingering you like nobody else did before. 

Your inner thighs tremble, your skin becomes bumpy. Your hand tries to reach for Jugram’s hips, you want him closer -inside-. And he understands his job, immediately. 

“You want me to fuck you, mh?” Jugram asks, pinching your cheeks and making you look yourself in front of the mirror. 

“yes… please…” you plead, lifting your hips, grabbing yourself from the little counter in front of you. It isn’t easy not to lose balance on such a tiny place, on a plane with occasional turbulence. 

Jugram, however, seems not to notice the motion of the plane and keeps both feet steadily on the ground. He lowers his zipper, freeing his sex from his white pants. Ready, so ready to impale you, he doesn’t even take a single moment to do it. 

His strong hand lands on your mouth the moment he finally gets deep inside you; a Boeing might be loud, but your moan could have been heard by others.

The slaps against your ass and thighs force you to put your hands on the mirror in front, where both never stopped looking at each other. It is both magical and perverted the way  you enjoy this moment through the reflection. 

One, two, three. More and more. But is not enough, is not deep enough… “Come here…” he commands, turning you around. 

You pant, legs trembling, wanting more and more. 

Jugram sits on the toilet and spreads his arms to receive you. And you immediately understand; time to bounce on his hard sex. 

You let yourself fall on his lap; the need allows his dick to slide right in with no difficulty whatsoever. Facing your blonde lover snatches your lips in a feverish kiss, his hands press the small of your back against him, and his legs begin to bounce along with you… ah, deep Jugram-sama; deep, fast… faster… 

And now turbulence is making it even better, don’t you think?!

Taglist of amazing babes: @awas-posts @missfuriosa @theneighbourhoodferret @cyberdazetragedy @ariesbbytings @animesnowstorm @lenablack9919

[daytaker]

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[lovecla]

© property of lovecla, nhl masterlist, nico hischier x you.

FAKE IT ‘TILL YOU MAKE IT, phase seven:

<last chapter>

➴ chapter warnings: smut (shower sex, p in v, unprotected sex), brief aftercare.

➴ word count: 2.1k

💌 from me to you: not my best work, but after the week i had, this is all i can give you :,) sorry if it sucks too much. so, are we ready to start saying goodbye to nico and em?

𖧷

NATALIE SPENT so much time quiet that you, Ella and Mia thought she had frozen and her wifi was off.

“Hello? Nat?” You call her, looking at the laptop screen. “I think you’re frozen—”

“I’m not,” she laughs and rests her face on her hand, looking amused. “I’m just— I’m speechless, that's all.”

“That was my reaction too,” Ella quietly says, and you coo at her cuteness, giving her a cheek kiss. “I thought they were pranking me.”

“So, let me see if I got this right,” Natalie claps her hands, inhaling loudly. “You and Nico weren’t actually dating until two weeks ago?”

You bite your lip, hiding your smile.

Believing that you are Nico’s real girlfriend is still hard for you.

“Yeah…” you nod.

“And you just started fake dating him so that Nora would finally notice the poor man and hook up with him?” She continues and you scrunch your nose, rolling your eyes.

“I mean—”

“Yes, that’s exactly what she did,” Mia jumps in, looking up from her phone. “Sometimes I’m certain that she thinks we live in a movie because in what world does fake dating even work?”

“Well, in ours, apparently,” Natalie scoffs. “Em is literally dating Nico after being his fake girlfriend for I don’t even know how long.”

“Three months,” you answer. “I didn’t think before doing it, I told you guys. It was like a spur of the moment kind of thing.”

“I think it’s sweet.” Ella smiles.

“You think everything is sweet, baby,” Mia also smiles at Ella, watching the youngest of you all blush prettily. “But can we talk about the skank in the room?”

Ella’s blush deepened and you laughed hard. “Mia—”

“I mean, are we really going to ignore the fact that Nora knew you and Nico were together and still kissed him? Like, hello?”

“That girl is literally trash. I still don’t know how half of the men inside the NHL are dumb enough to fuck her,” Natalie exclaimed.

“Do you guys think Jack fucked her?”

All of you, even Natalie through facetime, look at Mia with surprised eyes.

“What?” She asks, her face turning red, just like Ella’s.

“Why are you asking this?” You ask her, with the same tone as a twelve year old who just figured out her friend has a crush on someone. “Are you interested?”

“Wh— No!” she throws a pillow on you, looking distressed. You can hear Natalie’s laugh through your laptop’s speaker. “I just thought about him because Nat mentioned dumb men and that’s exactly what he is.”

“For how long will you keep hating on him, M?” you ask, laying on the couch. “It’s been seven years already.”

“As long as he keep acting like he owns the fucking world,” she hisses, before moving back to her phone.

You, Ella and Natalie look at each other before Ella sighs and starts speaking.

“When will you come see us?” she asks, changing the subject to something lighter.

Natalie sighs. “Honestly, tiny, I don’t even know. Dad keeps drowning me in work and things are really busy right now. The only time I can think of leaving Vancouver is when he’s away, and, y’know, he’s never away.”

“This sucks,” you say. “You’re twenty-five years old, you’re supposed to be doing the things you love.”

“I think my time for doing the things I love is up,” she chuckles, humourlessly. “I already went to Law School and graduated. Now I just have to keep my dad happy, I guess.”

“Luke told me it is never too late to do the things that make us happy,” Ella whispers, looking at Natalie with fond eyes. “So… If you really want to work as a lawyer, Nat, I think you should just… you know, go for it.”

“You’re the cutest, El,” Natalie smiles and now you’re all— Mia included— praising Ella and kissing her cheeks and messing with her hair. “I love you all so much and I miss you!”

You spent the afternoon chatting with them, happy to be around people you loved so much. When you left Mia’s house to go to yours, you had the biggest, brightest smile on your face, and you couldn’t stop asking yourself when your life had changed this much and turned into something this special and beautiful.

Whenever it happened, you were grateful that it did.

𖧷

“NICO?” YOU called when you closed your front door, looking around for your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend, Nico Hischier. Your real boyfriend.

You smile to yourself, putting your purse on your couch and walking towards your bedroom, hearing the distant sound of water coming from your bathroom.

Which means Nico’s probably in there, showering before bed, something he does every night. You remove your socks and your coat, leaving them on your bed, alongside your jeans and shirt.

Nico’s humming to some weird song when you enter the bathroom, the steam blinding you momentarily before you close the door behind you.

“Em?” he asks, speaking over the sound of water.

“Hi, baby,” you say, watching as he wipes the shower glass with his hand and smiles at you. “Mind if I join you?”

“Of course not,” he answers, opening the door for you, as you remove your panties and bralette, leaving them on top of your toilet seat. You get inside the shower, grateful that it was big enough to accommodate both of you with space left to spare.

“How did your girls day go?” He asks, removing the shampoo from his hair while you look at him, not even hiding the lust you feel whenever you see him remotely naked.

“It was fine,” you say. “Natalie called us crazy, but so did Mia.”

“Classic Mia.” He chuckled and you hum, agreeing.

“I missed you,” you whisper, watching those dimples you would quite literally die for appear and make your night brighter. “Five hours away from you should be considered torture.”

Nico laughs and kisses your lips fervently and unexpectedly.

And you kiss him back just as hungrily, his wet body drenching yours instantly, while his hands trace the curves of your body like he’s an sculptor caressing his favorite piece of art.

You hadn’t expected it to be this easy to connect with Nico, but it is. It’s your first time initiating something this intimate with him, and to your surprise, you’re not nervous— not even that good kind of nervous. It feels so natural and you’re so happy inside his arms, tip-toeing on the wet, marble floor as you feel your body connected to his.

You hold his wet hair in your hands, pulling them lightly. Nico seems to enjoy that, as he moans inside your mouth before pulling back, brown eyes looking deep into yours.

“You’re the best choice I’ve made,” he confesses, and you smile, feeling yourself getting shy. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I thought I loved Nora.”

“You don’t?” You playfully ask, tilting your head up.

He kisses you briefly before pulling away just enough to move his mouth: “Hmm, it doesn’t hold a candle to what I feel for you.”

After that, everything that happens continues to feel as natural as breathing. When Nico sits on the marble structure and looks up at you, puppy eyes shining in your direction, you can feel yourself start to melt. Your hands find his toned arms and caress them, noticing how his hair went up, which made you smile.

“I really want to fuck you, schatz,” Nico says, the accent slipping out of his mouth and reaching your ears.

“Really?” you whisper, caressing his chest now. “I don’t want to interrupt your shower routine…”

“I can do that later,” he smirks, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you down, until you were sitting on his lap. He kissed you fiercely, licking your lips with his tongue, while he arranged your legs the way he wanted.

You let him do whatever he wanted to with your body— your trust in him goes beyond words and if he wanted to put you upside down, he could.

So, when he puts both of your legs on each side of his hips and brings you closer, the moan you let out is embarrassingly loud. You can feel how hot and how hard he is, even if he’s away from the water still running behind you.

It’s not sustainable and you probably shouldn’t be having sex in the shower but fuck if it doesn’t feel good.

I’m sorry, Mother Nature.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he says, touching you everywhere, his large, rough hands finding their way into your soul. “It’s… fuck. I love you.”

You smile, nodding your head up and down. “I love you too.”

You grab his cock with your left hand and stroke it twice before slowly sitting on it, keeping your eyes on Nico the entire time, enjoying every single second.

His head was thrown back, and he had his eyes closed, mouth open with the hottest moan you’ve ever heard. He looked like a god and you clenched a little harder around him when you remembered that he is entirely yours to keep.

“Fuck, schatz, don’t do that again.” He opens his eyes, and looks at you with his brows furrowed. It’s cute.

“Why?” you play dumb, sliding further down his dick.

“I’m gonna end all of this in five minutes if you keep doing that.”

You want to tell him that you don’t actually believe that men can go much further than that because all of your previous relationships have been sexually frustrating, but once he plants his feet on the floor, holds your waist with both hands and slams himself against you, you can tell he won’t be like any of your previous relationships.

And he isn’t. He fucks you into pure oblivion, making you see stars as your ass hits his thighs, and he manhandles your body, up and down.

You feel his dick stretching your insides and it’s mind blowing how good it feels. Your back arches when he hits the sweet, wonderful spot inside you, and you immediately close your eyes, scared that he might see how far gone you are.

“Such a good girl for me,” he whispers, his tongue licking you clean, while you feel your body temperature rising as the room gets warmer and warmer. “I love seeing you lose control, Em, got me so fucking soaked.”

You whimper against his ear, digging your nails into his back, smelling his soapy scent.

The water cascaded down your bodies, steam swirling around you, creating an intimate cocoon of heat. He lifted you effortlessly, your hands tangled in his wet hair, pulling him closer as he trailed kisses along your neck, his lips warm against your slick skin.

“Nico.”

“I know,” is what he replies back, leaning against the wall and gripping your waist harder. “Fuck, you feel so good, baby.”

When you came, babbling nonsense in his ear and barely containing the tears in your eyes, you felt ecstatic. It was exhilarating, touching yourself with timid yet precise fingers while Nico slammed himself inside you over and over again.

He maneuvered your body with ease, like it was so easy for him to do whatever he wanted with you. Like if he, one day, decided to break you in half, he could.

And you’d let him.

He kept pounding against you, touching your sensitive clit even when you’re so overwhelmed with everything, rough fingers knowing exactly what to do. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Say my name again, schatz, please,” he murmurs. “Can you do that for me? Hm?”

“Y-Yeah,” you cry. “Nico.”

“Again.”

“Nico, fuck, Nico, you—”

When he pulls himself out of you, coming all over your tummy and thighs, you let yourself fall forward, wrapping your arms around his neck and burrowing your face in it.

“Sh, it’s okay, baby,” he sounds out of breath and hot at the same time. You breathe in his scent while feeling your own body hurt deliciously. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“Mhm,” you don’t move, feeling his hands all over your body. “I do.”

“Great.” He chuckles, moving both of you around so you’re once again totally under the shower’s head.

Once the hot water hits your back, you feel your muscles relaxing, resting your head on Nico’s chest as he wraps his hands around your waist and kisses your forehead.

“I’m praying it will rain soon,” you say, smiling tiredly.

“Why?” Nico frowns. “You hate the rain.”

“I don’t hate the rain, I’m not Nat,” you laugh. “I just prefer sunny days.”

“Then why do you want it to rain?”

“Because I’m feeling kinda guilty,” you whisper. “We’ve been here for more than thirty minutes, we probably drained New Jersey’s water supply.”

His laugh is contagious and heartwarming.

“Well, then I’ll pray for the rain too.”

<next chapter>

[lirational]

Xeno Witch

Fantasy AU Path to Nowhere

Witch!000 x Reader

A/N: Zero, Zero, you can call her Zero, white hair, cat ears, hiding in your wifi~ :D no beta we die like my soul

Warnings: Porn with a fumbled plot, dubious consent, general yandere shenanigans.

—

The orbs spun around the three-layered ring in mesmerizing, unchanging patterns, the small object heavy in your palm. Its pink glow gave a speck of light in this dark tower, where not even the light followed the rules of physics. Instead, it comverged around one figure, the lights itself moving like it was trying to dispel the darkness her presence provides.

No, it would be more accurate to say that the lights looked like as if they were commanded to highlight her presence instead of this tower’s structure.

“Well?” The witch asked, her tone playful. “All you need to do is swallow. Just a little ‘gulp!’, and you get what you want. Easy, right?”

Flagrant anticipation and mischief twinkle in her mismatched eyes, the tiny, almost weightless rings representing a contract. You were always told to be a good person, to live a good life and stay away from the darkness of the world, yet here you are now, facing one of the very things the world has told you to stay away from.

But, the light has rejected you, and now, you were desperate, angry, vengeful. Your heart a maelstorm that threatens to consume any sense of self-preservation.

Though hesitation colored some of your senses in a foreboding red tint, what you could feel coursing through your body was anticipation.

It was a chance, after all, to get what you want.

“What is your price, witch? What do you demand of me in return?”

You tried to load your voice with conviction. After all, such was expected in the bizarre book you had consulted for the ritual to call her, yet, your voice shook, the feeling of sheer power infused in the very air itself serving as a warning that made you falter.

“Insolent voyager! Are thee making light of the everlasting covenant?”

Seeing you flinch, the witch’s tone softened, glee replacing her pretend anger.

“Come on now, I was just teasing you, are you always this easy to tease? You’re just like a little fawn!” She whistled. “Witch is a little distant, how about you call me Zero? Come on, say it, ze~ ro!”

“O-okay, Zero.”

Well, any attempt to load your voice with authority as the book said has completely failed now.

“What are you waiting for? Come on, swallow it!” Zero floated around you, moving fast enough to breath warm air onto your ears, causing them to heat up. “Do you prefer something more verbose? Ah, ahem, don’t you loath the fate you were forced to tread and feel vengeful to upend the world?”

Her arms snaked on your chest and stomach.

“Then make an everlasting covenant with me...”

With the promise of change, you brought the rings past your lips, her whispers a temptation full of sin.

“… and alter your own fate.”

Power, along with something else, foreign and invasive, spread and took root in the essence of your very being, a breaching presence that could be felt down from the tips of your fingers to the tips of your toes. You couldn’t help but squirm, the oddity of it all too overwhelming to truly comprehend—

Then it stopped, leaving you feeling bereft and cheated.

The nagging sense of missing something important, missing a comprehension that lies beyond a thick veil, remained for quite a while.

“Our covenant has been sealed! With that, let’s return back to your world~“

Only upon looking back did you realize that Zero did not answer the most important question.

—

The incessant beep of an alarm clock spurred you back to the waking world.

Sunlight had started to slip through the blinds, a silent confirmation that, indeed, night has given way to another day. Even though your body felt leaden, frozen in time, cursed to not feel anything resembling restfulness, you shook the fatigue the best you could and forced yourself to roll to the side, then, as your vision started to focus—

“Hey!”

The all-too familiar voice that plagued your dreams greeted you. As your vision snapped into focus, your eyes met the red-yellow ones of the witch who haunted your sleeping hours.

“Zero?!”

“Aw, don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten,” she pouted. “Now that you accepted the contract, I’ll be sticking with you until I get your wishes!”

“Please don’t, I can’t afford to lose this job!” You reply, almost automatically, too panicked for your liking.

Zero didn’t seem to register your refusal. Rather, she seemed even more amused, her lips curling into a smile. “Oh come on, I want to see things! I want to eat snacks, watch the stars, read the new comic books. I won’t drag you down, I promise!”

She took your hand, pale fingers interlocking with yours in such a slow, tender gesture. Her thumb found your ring finger and brushed the base, coaxing a small ring with one loop to appear. The ring glowed in the same pink as the one you saw in your dreams, light particles revolving around it in a slow dance, merging and shifting and chasing each other. If there were any doubts of the encounter being nothing but a dream, the tender gesture would have dispelled it completely.

“After all, you, the one bound by our everlasting covenant, are the only one who can see me.”

Zero released your hand in a slow motion, fingers brushing onto yours for a few seconds too long, before her attention went to something else.

Oh, right, you have work to do.

Ignoring the ever-curious Zero, you bolted away to make yourself presentable, while the witch eyed your things with interest. She was especially interested at your snack stash, something about the sight of a powerful, wish-granting being from another world being so enamoured about something so ordinary bringing a chuckle to you.

Such was the start of your life with the witch from another dimension, yet, the mundanity only made the dark of your life all that much more stark.

For, as even the fools would have guessed. the first wish Zero granted you was one of revenge.

It was something you had long tucked back in your mind, placed inside a box labelled ‘repression’, taped up, and stored deep where no one should be able to reach, placed under myriad layers of irrelevant memories and kept out of reach from the light of your conscious thoughts. At least until the dam burst as you were forced to face the memory again. Looking back, it was almost childish, something about how a minor feud between competing businesses that spiralled into insanity that claimed the lives of people you knew, until you were forced to grovel as those you formerly considered friendly rivals showed their true colors.

For all these years, you endured the harsh, unfair treatment from them, forced to endure endless additional work until you snapped under the weight of unresolved anger and spite.

More than everything else, though, it was a careless wish, made as one of those former friends attempted to drag you away to parts unknown against your will.

“I wish all of you were fucking dead.”

At that moment, you spotted her black dress at the periphery of your sight, and then, she was in front of you. Even the world had stopped moving, bathed in a blue, criss-crossing grid lines except for the two of you. Depsite the outrageous nature of the request, Zero seemed unperturbed. Rather, she regarded you with a curious look.

“So, these were the ones who made you call for me. Boring people, if you ask me.”

You raise your eyebrow, prompting her to continue.

“Let’s see… these people were going to live unremarkable, mundane lives, and that shouldn’t be too hard…”

Realization hit you then, the fog of anger parting to give way for you to remember the witch’s sheer power.

“Zero, wait, this isn’t a good—“

She seemed to not perceive your presence, rather, she was focused on tinkering with something in front of her. Panels full of thousands of ever-scrolling lines, each with symbols more complicated than the last, enough to make your head pound from within when you stare for too long. Around her, cards wrapped in light of multiple colors rotate and wrap around each other in a mesmerizing display, a sight that Zero seemed to be unaware of - or perhaps, she did not deem it worth paying any mind.

“Done!”

With a flourish, she turned around to look at you, the panels disappearing as the lights shot away in multiple directions before dispersing. As time started to march once again, the person that was harassing you were contorted into painful, impossible shapes, expression frozen in horror without being able to speak as his own body started to break down, turning into—

You didn’t want to look, but out of the corner of your eyes, you saw a dark, yawning void where he was standing not even moments ago, swallowing every trace of him.

“Finished! They’re dead, well, it’s more like they don’t exist,” Zero winked at you. However, it registered as terrifying more than anything else. “Can we get something? I saw that shop selling ice cream so thick that don’t don’t melt even under the sun! Can we try?”

“But—“

“Come on, don’t focus on such boring things! I granted your wish,” she pouted. “This really reminds me of that comic I’ve seen once… Someone made a contract with an evil demon, and in the last part I saw, the villain actually made a cult…”

In contrast to your horrified expression, Zero didn’t seem to mind what she just did, and just rambled on. Just like a cat, Zero marches on her own beat, and your last attempt of protesting were shushed with a pale, slender finger on your lips. Her finger were cold, freezing your lips into silence and compliance, and there, the realization truly slammed itself onto your psyche.

This was a contract where you left the cost section blank, free for the witch to fill as she pleases.

From her smile as she took your hand and walked out of your workplace, it was easy to assume that she, indeed, were aware since the beginning.

That day, the ice cream Zero made you buy alongside her tasted overly sweet.

Perhaps a reminder of the impossible, costly saccharine deal you were sucked into, or proof that Zero was trying to anchor her presence even on one of your most basic senses.

—

The second wish Zero granted you were one without forethought.

With you, she has learned a lot, from simple pop-culture, to the minutiae of life, at least something that cannot be gleaned from being an observer. Though she seemed to like the sound of her own voice, she seemed to adore yours more, at least equal to her obsession with trying new foods if her demands after assisting you were anything to go by. When she asked you for something spicy for a challenge she saw on the internet, her expression twisted into something that must be seen to be believed.

In that moment, you forgot that you were dealing with a powerful witch from another dimension, and not a clueless friend whom you were stuck with.

Your conscious mind, your logical thoughts, all realized that letting your guard down near her would be a mistake, one that you may have to pay dearly for, yet even with constant reminders, it was difficult to stand guarded against her. She was eccentric, even the small kindnesses she did for your sake, such as preparing some food in the morning before you wake and in the evening, or even cleaning up the house with a thought, it was all colored in her character.

From how she made a pancake that started out completely sweet and end up savory with a swallow, to how she turned the apartment walls into edible candy for two days.

(You try not to think of the price you will have to pay when it is time to tally the costs.)

She became a constant presence, and sometimes, when she was away to do her own thing, a sentimental part of you missed her. She was fond of touching you, her cold digits lingering a few seconds too long, the sensation of her touches remaining fresh in your memory for a few hours even after she left.

No one remembered the family you killed. In this altered, unnatural reality, there was no feud that turned deadly, all traces of the ones you bore hatred and swore vengeance to falling into the void and replaced with you. Their wealth, their position, it all fell into the palm of your hand with such a simple command.

Though the question remained. What is the cost of having such a powerful being at your disposal?

A question that were always deflected by a smile and a freezing finger on your lips, scattering your thoughts away until she has long left into another tangent you could not hope to interrupt.

Your reminiscing were interrupted with a familiar rhythmic knocks on your door, proven to be nothing more than a formality not a few moments later, as Zero— the witch walked in from a torn void in reality, one that was definitely not there a few seconds ago.

“(Name)~” Zero called out, her voice sing-song and relaxed. “Heey~ Voyager~ Darling~ the audience is getting bored of you spacing out!”

As panic spurred you to stand up, Zero still looked relaxed, mismatched eyes staring upwards, her gaze directed to a distance so far, far away you could not fathom what she was getting at.

Wait, that wasn’t important. Was there someone here?

“Relax, the gods can’t hurt you! Well, they don’t get to do that as long as I’m here,” Zero flicked your forehead, your expression changing from panic to bewilderment. “C’mon, I heard someone is selling limited version ice cream made from black licorice! I want some!”

“Later, Zero, I’m not really feeling it,” you closed your eyes, your tone conveying exhaustion. “How about you go by yourself?”

“Nope! Come on, don’t be such a stick in the mud,” Zero remained unperturbed, taking your hand and pulling your arm. The sight would have been rather adorable, were your relationship were anything but based off a transaction with an unknown price.

“You already know everything there is to see around here, Zero. You can go by yourself. Sometimes, I wish you know how much you can be a pain—“

You clamped your mouth. Shit. Though you attempted to backtrack, you saw the witch’s expression has already soured, an uncharacteristic scowl highlighting her darkened gaze shadowed by her hair. In that moment, the room seemed to chill into a freezing stillness, even the lights around starting to fade until there was only you and her in the room.

“Zero, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—“

“I see,” Zero only responded, her tone stabbing and cold. “If that is what you desire, my voyager, there is nothing I could do.”

Your tongue felt ice-cold, lips frozen into a frown, unable to make a single sound. Meanwhile, your body refused to obey your commands, and you could only watch as Zero took her hand on yours, fingers hovering on the ring finger where the mark of the contract was, brushing the base of the finger with a movement so tender that still managed to chill you down to the farthest nerves. She lifted your hand and made you watch, watch as another loop started to appear above the first one, each passing moment of the new loop growing brighter feeding the pit of dread that has long formed within your stomach.

“Though, you might want to remember that I will collect what I’m owed, and you should watch your tongue from here on out.”

She placed down the hand bearing the mark of your contract and lifted her other hand, brushing her thumb past your lips, and then, the freezing cold of your tongue was replaced with a searing heat, drowning, breaking, overwriting every other sensation with an unrelenting sensation akin to thousands of heated needles piercing all conceivable surface. It hurts, it hurts, and you swore you tasted iron, without the warm feeling of blood that would accompany it—

Then, it stopped. Zero was no longer there, and everything was fine. You ran to the closest mirror, and a quick check revealed that everything was fine. It was such a tempting lure to think that everything was fine.

Only for the illusion to shatter as the image of a stylized clock face branded your tongue, bearing the myriad colors you’ve come to associate with Zero’s presence.

However, no matter how much you called for her, there was no answer.

—

It was on the cusp of true relief, just when you let yourself truly return to normalcy, that Zero granted your third wish.

You cannot miss what you never had, at least this way, there was no deluding yourself that there was something more behind the transactional nature of your connection. With time, with space, and without Zero shadowing you with her constant presence, it was easier to look at everything with a more objective angle. For the first few days, weeks, you watched your back and surroundings with the paranoia of a fugitive, even tried to make a wish, all without any effects, without her answering your call.

The human mind was not made to handle a nigh constant sense of danger, and with time, you allowed yourself to truly relax. The ring was still there whenever you focused on your ring finger, while the clock that branded your tongue has faded without leaving any traces.

Though you knew what she was capable of, a part of you longed to dismiss the sight that day as nothing but a mere figment of your imagination, an eerily vivid hallucination that had you hearing the sound of ticking for the first few days whenever you so much as closed your eyes.

Even that has disappeared with time, leaving only your not-so infaillible memory of the event.

With what you got from the contract, you have moved far away to restart your life, to a place less crowded, with less modern facilities, just enough to live without too much discomfort. With time, you allowed yourself to feel again, to heal, to dismiss everything from the fateful day piece by piece.

Maybe, the rings would drag you down to be tortured by her for all eternity, just like in one of those stories written by the superstitious.

Months would pass by, before you allowed yourself to be vulnerable around someone. There was someone who offered you help when you were finding your footing here, and they had remained a constant presence, owing to the close distance of your living places and the ease they talk to you with. A wonderful friend that you fantasized, no, hoped one day would become something more.

It was juvenile, a crush on the level of a child who had just learned what romantic love was, but there should be no harm to entertain such a little fantasy in the comfort and privacy of your thoughts.

“I wish they would give their heart to me.”

When the air started to hang heavy with thick, inky darkness, panic gripped your lungs.

Too late. Right when you felt her presence, your body had escaped your control, a doll with enough strength to stand, yet helpless to resist while Zero held your hand. Her pale hand took the hand bearing your contract mark, the other resting on your shoulder, putting you into a kneeling position with a firm yet gentle touch. Her eyes twinkle with amusement and glee, and the undercurrent of something more, something sickeningly sweet and sinister.

“Finally, I almost tried to make bets with the gods on how long until you end up with me again.”

The hand on your shoulder moved to your face, cupping your cheek while her thumb grazed your lips. With her command, you opened your mouth, revealing that the dreadful seal placed upon it has changed, the clock hands had moved ever closer to the middle of the day - or perhaps night, if the dark all around the owner of the mark could be taken as a hint.

“They were waiting for this moment, after all.”

Zero didn’t seem angry - rather, her voice was gentle and soothing. Perhaps it was your eyes, your pleading gaze, your struggle to move, but she seemed to read your intentions.

“Of course, there is no need for regrets, my voyager. After all, this ending has been written ever since we made the contract, even if there are some snags around the way~“

You try to plead, to reason, but what was there to say? It was pointless, she would grant the wish you so thoughtlessly spoke of, and from the looks of her expression, you would come to regret every second of what you were given. It only took a second for her to stop tinkering with whatever it was she altered to grant what you desired, yet to you, it took an eternity, locked to watch as she nudged the first domino that would seal your fate.

“Enjoy your wish, dear voyager~”

Just like before, she disappeared right after. Leaving no chances to ask questions, no chances to plead and regret.

You look at your reflection in the mirror.

The hour hand of the clock branded to your tongue was one hour away from midnight.

—

It took the span of a few weeks to discover what she meant.

Since that day, something deep within you were screaming, pleading, even at times forcing you to flee, turning into nightmarish scenarios that haunted your dreams and plagued your waking hours. A primal fear, unknown whether it was from you or from the manipulations of the witch, made you all too aware, of how the smiles from your friend start to veer into a devouring, smothering affection, until this affection you once so treasured and desired turned into a suffocating leash.

Paranoia crept upon your life once more, as you start to lock doors behind you, start to sense what may not be present in moving shadows, start to see and feel and suffocate with each passing moment of this too-long, drawn out punishment. Even in your downtime, nothing went truly right, for you had to keep your guard up.

At least, it was the most apt description, for you were chained in the most nightmarish instant just before the other shoe dropped.

No matter the pleas you shouted to the void, the witch only smiled, as if your suffering was nothing so dangerous. Even as everything started to crumble around you, from odd incidents of things breaking, chunks of buildings almost crushing you into a nasty pile of meat, vehicles veering just a little too close for comfort, reducing you to hope for a mild scare at the comfort of home.

Until the metaphorical shoe finally dropped.

It dropped in such a bitter show of cruelty, too, as it was the first night you could sleep a little better since the wish tumbled from your lips as a herald to the descent of your life into disaster once more.

There was the sound of breaking, and with no fanfare, as you felt the touch of cold metal on your bare skin, everything stilled, colors fading into muted greys all over. From a strange, geometric void, Zero stepped out, the edges of her movements causing chunks of reality itself to crumble into multicolored fragments and disperse away as ashen dust.

“Hello again, voyager,” she smiled, warm and inviting, despite the circumstances. “Have you forgotten? It is time for me to collect.”

You looked around and saw that the cold metal was a knife, belonging to the special friend that was both your savior and your nightmare within a span of time too dizzying, too quick to truly reconcile with yourself. They have been frozen mid-stab, crazed smile locked on their visage.

“After all, don’t you ask for their heart? You are one demanding voyager.”

It would not take a genius to figure out her intention. But you talk back, anyway. Out of futile hope, or out of curiosity that needed confirmation.

“Not like this. You warped their love.”

“Our sacred bond would not allow such a trickery, dear voyager,” Zero answered, voice sing-song as she glances at the person frozen in place just before they struck the killing blow. “As you wished, I gave you their whole heart. Never did I say that I would give them yours.”

Zero grasped your fingers, letting you watch as the third ring appeared above the second, shining with the color you’ve come to associate with the weight of dread pooling deep within. Deep down, you knew, it was the final seal that signified your end. Your limbs felt heavy, but this time, you were not frozen, rather, everything felt heavy beyond compare, as if you were pinned down and prevented to move.

Darkness started to open up beneath you, square by square, reality first crumbling into multicolored cubes before dispersing into ashen dust leading you to your destined abyss.

“Don’t you know that when you alter your fate and others, the world will eventually take notice?”

Zero didn’t seem concerned, rather, she watched as the void beneath you grew larger. “A human who wishes to alter fate will also alter the fate of others, and it’s a matter of time until the world itself—“

She cups your face, her hold tender. In this proximity, there was only you and her, as you drown into her gaze.

“—declares you an error.”

She captured your lips, and together, the two of you fell into the void.

You were drowning, lungs and mind filled with information a human shouldn’t be able to grasp, yet, when you reach out to touch and focus on one, everything eluded your grasp the way floating particles would elude a drop of soap. An eternity, a moment, passing as you attempt to focus and anchor yourself to something, only for everything to slip between your fingers as Zero tightened her hold on you.

“Mine, my voyager, finally mine to cherish,” she stared at you as she guided you to a gentle descent, your peripheral vision registering the familiar walls of the tower you once visited in your dreams. You were only given enough time to take a breath, before her lips took yours again, her tongue tangling upon yours as she tasted you. She tasted of strawberry, of sweet treats and refreshing cold, and she only allowed you release when your breath were truly, completely stolen, a string of saliva connecting the two of you before Zero licked it with a swipe of her tongue. Her manipulations suspended you in the air, your form propped by her powers, soft to your skin yet with the appearance of hardened light.

“Finally mine to take, another error born from fates too far altered. Don’t you know? Many desired your downfall, too, as they took vicarious pleasure from your situation.”

Your clothes disintegrated into nothing, disappearing the same way the gaps in reality did. “Don’t you hear them? They await your arrival here with anticipation. Give yourself to me, give me your heart, for the gods have declared you their favored, and now, you have nothing left.”

Her kisses trail down, bruises marking where her lips touch, her teeth grazing your skin. Though the tower shook, the coldness of the outside void rattling the walls, you felt nothing but rising warmth, radiating from your belly and spreading until it reached the tips of your fingers, your skin responding to Zero’s touches and gentle kisses. Her hold on your waist was possessive, her knee gently pressing between your legs until heat pooled and dripped onto her immaculate dress. She didn’t seem to mind, as her kisses reached your chest, sucking one more mark before her attention went to your lips once more.

Two of her fingers pressed down on your lips, past your teeth, her gaze a silent order.

There was nothing more to lose, nothing more to hold on. Some details of your life has been shrouded in thick smoke, the tightening of your chest a punishment should you try to reach beyond.

With that, you obeyed, wrapping your lips and tongue around her cold fingers.

From the approving quirk of her lips, it was clear that Zero, too, was aware of your predicament.

You sucked, wetting the two fingers, the intensifying, occassional press on her knee to your core becoming your encouragement. It was not enough, never enough, and the fire of desire within your belly only abated for a moment, just enough for you to chase the promise of release, only for you to he left bereft unless you continued. Only when the cold of her fingers were replaced with warmth did she pull her fingers out, one hand keeping your thighs parted despite how the odd, binding lights had already kept you in the best position.

Just when you were starting to think that she would leave you bereft and suspended like this, Zero pushed her fingers in. Even with the slick, you felt full, so full, thighs quivering in an attempt to close itself, to stave a little off the addicting, poisoning pleasure that Zero was feeding deep into the ravenous fire of your thirst. Her movements were experimental, but not inefficient, observing with glee as she found your weak spot and curled her fingers to press on it, drawing a pleased mewl that painted your cheeks in a rosy crimson and burned your ears.

“You can take it, don’t you? They made you strong, they made you able to withstand, for they would, too.” She whispered with a groan, the facade of her dignified witch crumbling long ago. Her hair has curtained your body, not even allowing your peripheral vision to lack her presence, her fingers driving you up to the precipice of release just before she relaxed her movements. “Come on, say my name, I’ll reward you~”

For the second time this day, you obey, and your vision exploded in stars of pleasure as her name fell from your lips in an endless repetition, the witch licking her lips at the sight of you coming undone. She did not release her grip, her gaze shifted somewhere, to something you could not reach, without relenting her hold on you.

“Are you all still not satisfied?”

Her smile turned predatory, a promise of pain and something else.

“Then, follow your desire, call for me, and perhaps, you too, could arrive in this place without the need of a proxy.”

Zero’s attention shifted back to her prey, entangled and basking in each other’s presence and passion.

Until time itself lost all meaning.

[wato1876]

wato im halfway thru parrots unstable vid and the way you left actually hit me so hard. ARGHAGAGRG

everyone else acting: yeah, I don't know if this is it... wato1876: *on the verge of tears, staring at Wifies, "always have a way out"*

you make me sick /pos

I’m glad you enjoyed my amateur voice acting! Everyone puts in a lot of effort, I just find it very easy to put emotion in my words, and its fun, it adds depth to an otherwise very high octane. Disappointment is very common in unstable and that tone is heard a lot, but Wato wasn’t sad because *they themself* didn’t have a way out, yes they wanted to be safe, but essentially their entire world was crumbling around them, all their friends went every which way. Wato may have a hard outer shell, and extremely blunt, but what hurts more is seeing someone who cares so genuinely much about something being ripped at one by one. If Wato was the first to go, it wouldn’t have been as bad, but seeing everyone leave before him sunk him deeper and deeper into pain. The idea of Parrot seeing his final hope seep through his hands and the devastation he must feel really is what broke Wato.

I have experienced things like this IRL (obviously not as severe, but the sensation you get leaving high-school for the very last time, and standing alone as the field slowly clears for the very last time). I react the way I do because my character has a lot of empathy (the point it hurts him emotionally), and understands why people do things they do. Wemmbu abandoning Sky Civ -> He wants to save himself and truly didn’t care if it meant risking himself. Wifies leave Parrot last episode when going to Farlands -> He just wanted what was best for Parrot since he too saw Parrot ripping himself apart.

Wato secluded himself for so long because he knew he was susceptible to being hurt, and he knows having friends/attachments is a weakness. He knows they are but still cares about people. I tried to show Wato as a dynamic character that changes throughout the videos and reacts how any normal human would. Confused and scared. Not every line is perfect and every action won’t make full sense, but when have we- humans- been perfect.

I like the humanity in a character, the imperfections. That is what makes a good character. Not their tragic downfall, but just the limits of a being.

If I had a beefier computer, I’d make something insane. Editing speed because of lag is my only bottleneck. I love stories, always have. This is just a small slice of stories I want to convey. Even End Barrens was not to what I wanted it to be.

Wato1876

Thought I should at-least give y’all one big character lore drop before I go to bed for the night. What can I say, writing is fun.