#the best part is that he was married to a teacher who financially supported his broke ass for years

[animeomegas]

Ah, sorry! I meant after they get married and maybe are starting a family, which omegas would become stay at home parents vs working parents

-sauce anon

Okay, I got it! Here are my thoughts~ I've just done parents, because I don't think many of them would retire after a marriage. I think the only ones who might retire after marriage might be Kankuro and maybe Sai. Itachi would too, if he was allowed, but eh, the clan probably don't agree to it until he's pregnant.

Working parentings (workload that takes them away from family time more often):

Naruto - Becoming hokage was his dream, and he feels a great responsibility for his village that he could never let go off. It's a massive part of his life, and he couldn't give it up, no matter what.

Sasuke - He does not have the mental fortitude to be a stay-at-home parent. He quite simply couldn't cope feeling cooped up and trapped by his child. Sasuke is a better parent when he has some time alone, and some time to travel a bit.

Shikamaru - I've put him here and in the category below, because I think it does fluctuate. He has a massive workload, and it's something he feels he doesn't have a choice in taking. He's the sort of person who never feels like he's done enough, and yet is always working too much. It's not his identity though. He works because he feels he has to.

Gaara - Again, another kage here, with the massive workload that comes with that. To his credit, I think Gaara manages to find the best balance out of the men in this category, but he still works a lot. I think, like Naruto, he feels the responsibility and care to his village, and he could never abandon them.

Working parents (workload that keeps them around more often):

Shino - He's a teacher at the academy, so while he is a working parent, he is around a lot, as he goes to school with the pups, and then also walks home with them. That being said, he would probably take leave when his pups were babies/toddlers and stay at home full time, unless his alpha was staying at home with them. Aburame culture dictates that one parent should stay at home if there are pups, and the clan helps support that financially.

Shikamaru (again) - However, continuing on Shikamaru, if his alpha ever made a breakthrough on getting him to make his own decisions, or it got to the point where Shikamaru had to step back from being the Hokage's aid to run the clan, he's around a bit more. I think this balance would be the one that made him happiest, but he needs a push to get there.

Iruka - He's similar to Shino, although depending on his age, he might be the head of the academy. He stops taking extra shifts or missions once he has children and focuses on teaching. He could never leave his students. I think he would get bored just staying at home, so working suits him better.

Flexible parents (those that might not work, but might as well, depends on the circumstances):

Chouji - I think he would want to be around when his pups were very young for sure, but after that, I think it depends. He would eventually be taking over the clan, but that might be when his children are older anyway. He might run missions on occasion, if he's well suited. If his children needed him more for whatever reason, he wouldn't though. It's very situational.

Kisame - I think he wouldn't mind staying home with small children, but once they hit school age, he would get too bored without things to do. I'm not sure what work he would be doing in a world where he was stable enough to have children, but he'd find something, maybe collecting bounties.

Yamato - He wants his children to know that he is always there for them no matter what, so I think he'd feel guilty working. But once they were in school, he'd probably find a job that fit around school hours. Even if it was just helping around the village with the mokuton. I think he'd like to do that.

Stay-at-home parents:

Kiba - He's got far too many to dump on someone else XD No, Kiba is happiest with his family. Work schmerk. There is literally no way he could be bored. With how many he has, he often has a child small enough to require attention all day.

Neji - He is determined to go back to work after having a baby. Absolutely, 100% sure. But every time it gets to the point where he should be returning to taking missions, he makes up some arbitrary reason why he can't. "They've been anxious about nursery, I think I should stay at home until they settle", "They need to finish their medicine for the infection, I'll stay home to make sure they take it", "They said they don't enjoy school... maybe I should homeschool?" He ends up staying home until they leave the house, and by then his priorities have changed.

Itachi - All he wants to do is stay at home. He would have retired after marriage if his clan wouldn't have thrown a fit over it. Once he quits taking missions, he's never going back. He's a bit lost after his children leave home, and he mourns not having as many as he would have liked. Until he's provided with grandchildren or chickens to look after lol.

(I was really, really torn on Minato and how I wanted to characterise him, so I left him off. If it was canon Minato, it would be the top one for sure, but I don't know if that's how I want to go with him, idk.)

[just-a-repa]

For some reason i have made a modern disaster lineage AU

This is part 1

Next part

First we have Jocasta and Dooku:

They were both born in 1922, (i used the actors birth date as reference, I just de-aged Jo a bit to fit into the norms of those days more) Dooku into a wealthy family, and Jo into a lower middle class one. Dooku is bisexual and Jo is straight

Quick disclaimer: sorry if 1 got anything wrong historically, corrections are welcome!

Dooku's family was pretty abusive and he had some serious problems with his sexuality, but he got a good education and managed to get away from his family

Jo started working as a nurse after school. She dated a man and had Rael at 24. Being pregnant outside of marriage was unacceptable, so the guy fled and Jocasta was sent into a maternity home. If someone is unfamiliar with them, they were horrible places for unwed mothers so they could deliver their baby in secret. They were often very isolating, verbally abusive and made women do chores. Fortunately Jo got out of that place. but got into serious dept while trying to search for a home. Soon after that she met Dooku and 1-2 years later they got married

Dooku's family repudiated him because of the marriage, so they were left with no financial support. When Rael was 6 years old. they had Qui-Gon, and he was a much more peaceful birth for Jo. Dooku was a literature and politics teacher at a university and Jo worked 2 jobs as a librarian and a waitress so they could pay off that dept mentioned. (Ik university teachers have really good paychecks, but let's say Dooku didn't get that much because of discrimination or something similiar)

Because of Jo working 2 jobs, it was Dooku who majorly took care of the kids and made dinner when he got home. Their relationship was really healthy compared to the norm of that time, they both took part in housework and childcare. They weren't perfect parents, and the influence of that time certainly showed on them, but they tried their very best

Also they were both smokers cuz after what they have been through who wouldn't lmao

[themomsandthecity]

The Very Real Sacrifice of Caring For Aging Parents in Your 20s

"I think things will be easier if my mom dies first," I found myself saying out loud to my best friend late last year, sitting on the carpeted steps of her rental house. This sentence may have come across as cold and morbid to anyone else, but I knew Tessa understood where I was coming from: Her dad and my dad both have terminal lung diseases, and neither of us have the best relationships with our moms, either. My mom in particular is generally healthy, but I worry about her living alone as someone who can be forgetful, overly trusting, isolated, and naive. Tessa and I met working at our college bookstore as cashiers. She's now a math teacher married to a great guy with a new baby boy. Tessa just turned 29. I'm a healthcare reporter who lives in Oakland, CA. I take art classes, love walking around the Bay, and have a 9-year-old cat named Clark. I'll be 28 later this year. Tessa and I both have older parents, and have bonded over how it can sometimes feel like we got robbed of fully enjoying our 20s. I don't call Tessa to gab about a new crush, or text her photos of my outfit options before a date. Instead, we talk about having to navigate federal healthcare on behalf of our parents, and arrange care for them while simultaneously trying to keep our own lives afloat. Neither of us feel like we have the same normalcy our friends do; we don't often call our parents for advice or anticipate the holiday season with excitement. Instead, our 20s have mostly felt like we're consistently waiting for the other shoe to drop, and when it does, we turn to each other for support. I am one of many millennials being affected by what's been referred to as an elder-care crisis. It's difficult to care for aging parents, especially with whom you have a strained relationship, while also navigating early adulthood. . . and financially earning less than they did at my age. The weight of credit card debt, student loans, and societal expectations can feel crushing. Hell, sometimes vet bills for just Clark can get pricey, even with pet insurance. I want to save money. I want to travel. I'd like to upgrade from a studio to a one bedroom so I don't have to fall asleep staring at my desk, since I work from home. But I also know that when my dad inevitably passes - and likely before my mom due to his condition - I'll need to be able to spring a last-minute plane ticket home and help get things in order. I recently received a master's degree from Syracuse University's Newhouse School, and throughout my final few semesters, I routinely thought to myself, "I hope my dad stays alive at least until I finish this degree." It can often feel like I'm holding my breath, hoping my parents hang on until I'm in a more established place in my life, so that I can offer the best care while also being my best self. My dad's prognosis was originally around seven years max, and he's now in his third year since being diagnosed. His health isn't currently changing much day by day, and when people ask how he's doing, I reply, "About the same." It can often feel like I'm holding my breath. I deeply desire to maintain autonomy in my own life, which still feels like it's just beginning. But I also want to make sure my parents are safe, healthy, and have all the resources they need as they age. So, rather than save for an eventual wedding or other milestone, I now have a separate savings account explicitly meant to help my parents in the event of something tragic. Just like a wedding is a major life event, so is losing a parent and maintaining care for the other parent - particularly if you're an only child, like I am. (At this point, some might ask, "Why don't you just leave the Bay Area if you're so concerned about money?" So, I should note that I have two uncles who live here, and we're very close. They weren't always part of my life, and as they also get up there in age, I want to be around them as long as possible, making… https://www.popsugar.com/family/millennial-taking-care-aging-parents-essay-49351514?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[iamtrebleclefstories]

Nobody Leaves. Nobody Dies.

My new head canon series where you pick a character and see what I think they’d be like if we ever would’ve gotten to see them in dark blue scrubs.

For anon

George O’Malley 

George is the attending that everyone really loves to work with. They know that if he’s in charge, the residents will get a chance to cut and participate in actual surgeries instead of just watching from the sidelines. He’s also so calm under pressure since you know, crazy things happen at Seattle Grace Mercy Death. Especially when he comes back to Seattle after a couple of years in the army. 

He’s also a great teacher aside from just a great trauma surgeon and no one has anything bad to say about him as a doctor. He’ll randomly quiz people in the OR about what to do if they were ever caught in a situation where they didn’t have the luxury of waiting until they got back to the hospital. That’s why he’s the best when it comes to calls in the field. When that huge sinkhole opens up in Seattle he’s the first one on scene.

When Owen becomes Chief of Surgery, George becomes chief of trauma and stays chief of trauma even after Bailey gets the position. Him and April grow close and form a badass trauma team that is always on top of everything that comes through those ER doors.

George is also really proactive when it comes to making sure that patients get the care they need regardless of financial status. He’ll do things like look for hospital loopholes in order to get someone a free surgery or discount on medication. It becomes one of his passion projects and he sets up a committee through the board to help fund his initiative.

Due to being a vet himself, he also spends a lot of time at the VA as well. Eventually, George gives up his chief of trauma position at Seattle Grace in order to be a trauma surgeon at both the VA and SGMW.

As far as his personal life goes, George ends up marrying an army vet and current high school science teacher named Vivian. They met at the VA when she joined the same group therapy session he was in. They hit it off right away and became fast friends. Fast forward three months and he and Vivian were getting a place together. Six months after that, they were married. Sure, some people might think it was fast, but George just knew. She’s very supportive of all of his projects and his career and he loves her for it.

They never have any kids of their own—not because they are unable, but because they choose not to. Foster care and adoption is something big in both of their hearts, so they foster many kids throughout the years. They end up adopted five of them, which may seem insane to outsiders, but to people who know George and Vivian, it’s not a surprise at all.

Cameron was their first one. She six when they adopted her. Later came Quincy, he was eleven when they adopted him. Then was Kayla. She was three when she became a part of their family. Brian was nine when they adopted him. And last, but certainly not least, was Jesse. He was fourteen when he was adopted.

The kids, despite their trauma, we very well adjusted thanks to George and Vivian’s love and support. They all grow up to be successful, independent, kind individuals. Although none of them become doctors, George couldn’t be more proud. After all, he’s got a psychologist, a naval officer, a small business owner, a firefighter, and a school administrator in his family.

Things aren’t perfect, but they are good. And that’s all George could ever ask for:

[knjoodles]

learn to love; jungkook | 01

pairing: teacher!jungkook x singleparent!reader

genre: fluff, angst 

word count: 3K

summary: raising your daughter alone while simultaneously watching your ex-husband live the life of his dreams away from the two of you hurts. badly. it hurts a little less, though, when you find an unlikely friend while looking for help.

lowercase intended

02 | 03 | 04

   “seyoung, please,”  

   being a single mother at this time in your daughter’s life? it wasn’t the best, so to speak.

  to your beautiful seven-year-old seyoung, the local supermarket was a treasure trove of goodies and tasty treats she could barely keep her hands away from. you darted your head in either direction of the breakfast aisle, following the sound of the patter of steps running away from you, just to spot seyoung slipping behind a tower of canned corn and into an ambiguous section of the store. “seyoung!” you gasped, dashing in the direction she went. catching your breath, you found her sitting in the middle of the candy aisle, toying with a bag of skittles and trying to use her small, short nails to tear open the wrapping.  

   “can you stay near me, baby? please?” you walked towards her slowly, placing your shopping basket on the floor and kneeling to meet her gaze. your mouth twitched into a smile as she shook her head in a pout, shoving the bag of candy against the floor in another attempt to open it. you reach your hand to take it from her hands when she pulls the bag towards her again, clutching it to her chest stubbornly.

   “mommy, i want this one!” she whined quietly, kicking her legs and fiddling with the corner of the bag. as you opened your mouth to say no, you realized you couldn’t remember the last time you’d bought something for her. it’s not that raising her alone was extremely difficult — your music producing career had taken off when she’d turned four and you finally had enough money to sustain the two of you — it’s that you were unable to give her the attention and benefits she needed as a child. money that was supposed to be spent on things like an abundance of toys, bags filled with vegetables and spices to make a delicious dinner, adorable slip-ons to match her favorite dress, were all spent on paying for bills, an occasional nanny, and her private school. you weren’t begging for help, but it would be nice.

   “alright,” you sighed, the excitement of getting candy shining through her doll-like eyes. “i’ll buy you the candy, but can you promise mommy you won’t run away like that anymore?” she happily placed the bag in your hand with the guarantee of sweets, letting you drop it into your basket. looking back at her to make sure she understands, you raised your eyebrow, prompting her to nod slowly and rise from the market floor. as the two of you made your way to the cashier, she grasped your pinky, doing what she could to hold your hand. after loading all of your groceries in the back of your car, you drove her to her friend, ailee, so they could spend the rest of the warm, welcoming sunday afternoon together. before you left, she gripped your hands as tight as she could and promised you that she’d be back soon. because she knew how much mommy will miss her.

   you savored her kind words as you slipped into your car once more, running your hands over the comforting leather stitch of the wheel before pressing the gas and driving home. on your way home, you noticed your phone sitting in the cupholder vibrating as someone called you. waiting until you reached a red light, you answered the phone quickly, paying no attention to the caller id — you get random phone calls from other producers about artists you’d be working with in the future, it was something you’d gotten used to by now.

   “hey.” a deep, masculine voice mumbled on the other side of the line. you recognized it instantly.

it was your ex-husband.

   “hi, hoseok. is there something you need?” you asked, a hint of annoyance in your voice. hearing him again after three months was surreal; it reminded you of everything that’d happened with him.  

   “yeah, i was wondering if we could, uh, visit seyoung.” he muttered, obviously tense from your tone.

we. he said we.  

the word we, without you, was the reason why you’d left him.

you found them. that’s all you’d allow yourself to think about regarding him. if you let yourself go further, you may break down in the middle of the freeway.

   “ah, you mean you and yebin? of course. seyoung’s not home right now, but you guys can come and visit her at any other time.” you replied, savoring the fact you’d planned a playdate for her. hoseok and yebin were the last people you wanted to see at the moment.

  you weren't angry that he’d continued with his mistress after the two of you divorced;  you weren’t the jealous type, and frankly, you didn’t want to be with someone who threw away years of love and support for a woman who he’d known for less than six months. you missed your other half, you missed that comforting back hug after a long day at work and the affectionate ear nibbles while cuddling together. you missed the intimate moments, you missed having someone else in the house. you missed having emotional support, as well as a financial one. while hoseok seemingly frolicked with his younger, sexy girlfriend, you were in the studio all day to make sure your daughter has what she needs to have a healthy childhood without a father. and you weren’t even sure if you were doing it right.

   the idea of divorce will never be something a child can digest completely without having questions. hell, it’s not even something an adult can handle without asking questions. seyoung would often wonder out loud about why daddy was hanging out with a second mommy and why the two of you didn’t live with daddy anymore; why the two of you had to downsize and move away. embarrassingly enough, your daughter told her friends about how her parents live in separate houses, thinking it was impressive that she had two houses.  

   “great. yebin’s really been eager to see seyoung again. i think the two of them are really getting along nicely.” hoseok explained, making things worse in an attempt to break the ice.  

   “that’s great. i'm glad seyoung’s taking a liking to yebin.” oh, how you wanted to hiss that you hoped she wouldn’t replace you with yebin the way he did.  

   “you know, you’re reacting to this better than i thought you would,” he replied. bad move.

   “i don’t know how you want me to react, hoseok. maybe, it’s because i haven’t heard from you in three months.” you spat, angry that he even dared to say something like that. what did he mean? did he think you’d welcome yebin, his mistress, the woman he cheated on you with, with open arms? did he think you’d take a liking to yebin the way seyoung did? unfortunately, that’s not how infidels get treated. you two were a team, he randomly got up and joined the opposition, leaving you alone to play the game of life by yourself.

   “you’re right,” he admitted. “i should’ve called or text, but you know how my job is and—“

   “i'm sure if you had enough time to go clubbing with yebin you have enough time to spend two hours with your daughter. hoseok, i will support you in almost everything, but you need to be a part of seyoung's life — and seeing her once in a blue moon won’t leave a lasting memory of you in her childhood.”

he sighed. you could imagine him habitually rubbing his eyes with one hand before running it over his hair; he shakes his head when he doesn’t have anything left to say.  the muffled sound of a woman voice sounded from the other line, making you roll your eyes.  

   “i get what you’re saying. i... i need to go right now, but i promise we’ll come and see you guys soon. bye.” he completely shook off your conversation and it made you angry. how could he disregard something so important?

   “of course you do.” you muttered bitterly before the line went dead. fortunately for you, you’d just returned home, allowing you to frantically throw your groceries on the kitchen island and drown yourself in what sorrow he caused you.

   it had started off like a dream. the two of you had met in your third year of college, him a business and economics major and you a music production major with a minor in audio and sound engineering. you’d bumped into each other at a banal frat party — one neither of you really wanted to be at. he began boasting about his dog back at home, making you erupt in giggles and inch closer and closer towards him as the night grew older. the two of you eventually left the crowded house together, not going to someone’s place, but rather to a local noodle bar, the midnight empty tables and sentient music a great transition from the pounding music and lack of personal space of the party. he joked about how he was never amazing at talking to people, especially women, so he was surprised that you managed to stick around with him for this long — a new record, to quote him directly. his warm aura kept you snug from the cold night, and he eventually took you home, dropping you safely to your apartment. after that night was over, you began to notice him more and more on campus, like a bright color in a mellow painting.

   one day, out of the blue, he drunkenly confessed his feelings for you. ironically enough, the same people had hosted a party in the same frat house a year later. with his intoxicated body pressed up the wall next to you and the thought that you were someone else, he moaned about how much he likes you but you never seem to pick up on his advances. the days following sprouted conversation after conversation regarding relationships, and eventually, the two of you decided to date. you felt as if you were on the top of the world, as if there was nothing stopping you anymore. after you graduated, the two of you rented an apartment together and entered the job market, taking steps together. and, three years later, you asked him to marry you. right in the middle of pasta night, while you were watching the little mermaid together.

   he named seyoung. you can remember exactly when the two of you decided on her name; when you first held seyoung in your arms and the two of you gently admired her perfection. he kissed behind your ear and whispered, “seyoung. eternal.”

   the three of you were like the three musketeers, and life was a never-ending spiral of fun. you were happy, so happy that you were afraid it would go away. it was perfect: you’d wake up to your loving husband snoring softly beside you with your baby girl giggling happily in her crib, watching the spinning sheep on her crib mobile with glee. every single day, the same cycle, but somehow, your family taught you a new feeling of happiness each day.

   you hate this part. of course, all good things come to an end. they have to, because the bad is what reminds you how lucky you are to have the good. you’d thought life was great. seyoung was a very likable toddler according to her preschool teachers, hoseok had recently gotten a promotion, and your career finally felt like it was going somewhere. you’d recently been hired at bighit, working for their new group, txt.  

   it was around twelve in the morning. you’d gotten home late because your team had finished mapped txt’s first mini-album, the dream chapter: star. pulling your coat closer to your frame as you stepped towards your door, you prayed hoseok had put seyoung to sleep. you’d told him that you’d be coming home as late as three in the morning, not knowing exactly how long it would take to decide how many songs would make it onto the album, as some potential songs were songs meant for other groups that were eventually scrapped.  

   you entered quietly, the door creaking at your attempt to open it silently. you weren’t very observant of your surroundings; truthfully, you just wanted to kiss your baby’s forehead and collapse into your bed. kicking off your shoes, you placed your bag on the coffee table, sighing before trudging towards your shared bedroom. it hit you like bricks — you weren’t paying attention to any noises, you weren’t living a cliché romance movie scene, it was completely unexpected. when you pushed open your bedroom door, a nude woman, lean and visibly younger, was rolling her hips on top of your husband’s bare form. it had taken a second to even register: what’s going on? who is she? am i dreaming? yet your silent thoughts were proven wrong as her head turned in fear to see you standing there, silhouette in the doorframe. she swung her leg over hoseok, pulling on the covers as her body fell next to him on the bed. 

  that was your spot.

  hoseok sat up, eyes wide with fear. “(y/n)… i… this-” he scrambled, thousands of excuses flying through his mind as to why he was just caught hooking up with his assistant. someone you, for one, trusted.

   you, like him, were at a loss for words. your soul felt as though someone had ripped it from your chest and slammed it to the ground, trampling on it bitterly. you turned your head, seeing your baby girl sleeping soundly in her crib. one thing remained stable while your entire world came crashing down onto you, and it was her breathing, chest rising and falling rhythmically, eyes fluttering.

  you nearly slammed the door in fury, turning and sliding down against it, trying to catch your breath. you’d never faced this type of pain before, you didn’t know what to do. there was so much to lose and so little to gain.

   your mother had always taught you to not take any shit from anyone, especially not a man. you tuned out the begs and pleads and cries for you to stay with him and stood your ground on a divorce. ‘it won’t happen again’ has proven itself to be a white lie time and time again. you’d gained custody of your child, and hoseok gained all of the freedom the world could allow. it was as if he was young again.

   it’s not that life was all bad for you after the divorce; crown, the song you’d mainly produced with the help of others became a huge hit in korea, festering hundreds of millions of views and charting #1s worldwide. your company credited you along with a couple other coworkers as the reason for txt’s success in the west. and, as txt continued to grow in popularity, so did your paycheck. you were a wildly successful single mom, fearless on the outside, getting there on the inside.

   fast forward to now: you, single mother, barely getting by mentally, struggling with things your daughter is too young to understand. your husband, living a carefree life with his young mistress, the only connection between him and his ex-wife being his child support fund. you didn’t envy him, but you envied his happiness.

trying to kill time, a piece of toast hanging from your mouth, you opened your laptop, an email from seyoung’s teacher popping into your inbox. it read,  

“ hello parents of wonderful third graders! welcome to (or welcome back to) yooseong elementary!

               my name is mr. jeon jungkook, and i have the great honor of having your kids this year. i know that the school year has only recently started, but i’d love to get to know all of you soon! attached to this email are my parent hours along with the introduction handout i gave my students on friday, just in case any of your little stars misplaced it or haven’t shown it to you yet. i’d like for you to sign it and have your child turn it in on monday to ensure that we’re all on the same page! i hope all of you are just as excited for your child’s school year as i am.

               again, if any of you need to contact me for any reason, please shoot me an email at this address! i’ll respond as soon as i can.

thank you,

mr. jeon ”

   his enthusiasm made you smile. nothing comes before seyoung’s happiness, and if seyoung has a teacher which loves his job as much as you love her, that’s all the satisfaction you need. you’re glad, and somewhat relieved, that when you’re not around, seyoung is in great hands.

   quickly writing him back and thanking him for sending the handout seyoung has yet to show you, you closed the tab, scrolling through a news article about txt’s unfinished success story, refreshing your mind on what you already knew about the boys, and chuckling at what facts they got wrong. as you continued to read through the article, an advertisement on the sidebar caught your eye. now, normally, you’re not one to pay attention to them. you’re more of the type to frown at them and spam-click the ‘x’ in the corner until it eventually vanishes. this one was different.

   an advertisement for a singles support group, offering a place for your voice to be heard, and, well, support.

   you hesitated, wondering if you’d be paired with a group of adults with more emotional issues than time per session. reminding yourself of how hoseok’s actions combined with the consistent stress of your job and raising seyoung threatens your sanity on a day to day basis, you put that voice on mute, and promptly clicked away, this time clicking on the ad instead of the ‘x’.

   after all, anything for seyoung.

[duchess-fox]

Lessons from the Screen: Juliet Sharp (Gossip Girl)

Juliet was a controversial character - you either loved her or hated her. I personally liked her character and feel the writers did her dirty with the drugging of Serena storyline (because in the GG world, underdogs and social climbers must be squashed). I think there's a lot to learn from this character, more so than any of the others especially in the journey to levelling up.

Who is Juliet?

Juliet is strictly middle class. Her family lives in a nicer part of the United States - Cornwall, Conneticut - but she herself did not attend the private school in the area. Her half brother was a teacher at that private school.

Juliet is both streetsmart and booksmart. She has the booksmarts to get into Columbia and she has the streetsmarts to put an elaborate plan to take down Serena into action.

Columbia and Keeping Up

She attends Columbia, an ivy league school, but not without her cousin's help. We see that Juliet relies on him for her tuition and living expenses. Most college students would work to supplement their meager income - however Juliet does not.

Juliet joins Hamilton House and eventually becomes their key master. This pursuit was probably almost full time work in itself.

Juliet was able to successfully plant herself among the children of members of high society and would have likely have successfully found herself married into their ranks if not for her involvement with Serena & Co.

Juliet's Downfall

Juliet is forced to bow out of the scene (a possibly withdraw from university) after forcing Serena into an institution.

Her single-mindedness and desperation to exact justice for her brother leads to her cousin cutting off her financial support and possibly being forced to withdraw from Columbia.

Lessons we can learn

The right place, at the right time

We, and Nate, are first introduced to Juliet when Nate takes his one-night stand date to brunch at Norma's - an upscale restaurant. She's there reading The House of Mirth and drinking a coffee. She's a refreshing change to the girls that Nate has been seeing lately who seems to only have a handful of phrases in her pretty head.

Lesson: Being at the right place, at the right time can help you meet potential friends and even partners. Like Juliet, you don't have to be there for breakfast, just there reading a book and drinking coffee. So even though you might not want to spend too much money on eating out, buying a coffee is relatively inexpensive. Treat it as if you're taking yourself out on a date - maybe even get yourself a slice of cake and enjoy it slowly along with your book. Make sure the place is upscale, make sure your book is physical (no e-readers - it's hard to have conversation about a book when people can't see what you're reading).

Learn to DIY beauty treatments

In order to keep up with fellow Hamilton House club members, she had to be resourceful. She learned to blowdry her own hair and likely did other beauty treatments herself.

Lesson: If you can't afford to have your nails and hair done, learn how to do them yourself! I do my own gel manicures and I use Korean products, the exact same ones as the salon I used to go to. While you might not be able to source the exact products a salon will use (since a lot of products are professional only), you can still get some quality products. There are also heaps of tutorials online on how to do your nails and your hair.

Stretch your resources when it comes to your wardrobe

We primarily see Juliet in a lot of neutrals - namely grey. She probably also has the only wardrobe that remains somewhat relevant today. She also needs to dress for the kind of crowd she wants to be a part of.

She goes to an outlet to buy designer clothes and if she does buy from the department stores in the city, she returns them after she wears them. She even has a tagging gun to put the tags back on. She also subscribes to Rent the Runway to supplement her wardrobe.

Lesson: While I don't condone the returning of worn clothing, if you have to have some designer clothes, Rent the Runway is great for that - it allows you to rotate clothing at a fee which is good if you have special occasions to dress for.

In saying that, designer clothing is very hit or miss (as evidenced by the other character wardrobes from Gossip Girl). You're much better off having some classic, timeless pieces - sheath dresses, blazers, button downs, simple sweaters, jeans that look amazing on you (regardless of what silhouette is currently in fashion). You can always accessorize with jewelry, bags, belts and shoes.

Men don't give a shit about what designer bag/shoes you're wearing as long as it looks expensive. So you don't have to get an expensive bag - just one that looks high quality and therefore expensive (I should probably do a post on what to look out for).

Put your best interests first

Juliet loses everything because she's too busy trying to get revenge for her brother who doesn't seem the least bit remorseful that he cost his sister her education and possibly her future. Her cousin stops funding her tuition when she gets involved in his relationship with Serena.

Lesson: So, think of your own best interests first. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm!

[addictedtomanga]

Shoujo manga recommendations - love triangle

1.     Ao Haru Ride

While most girls desire popularity among boys, Futaba Yoshioka wants the exact opposite. After attracting many admirers back in middle school which resulted in her being shunned by her female classmates, she decided that high school will be her chance to revamp her image. Therefore, she starts acting unfeminine and indifferent to boys, allowing her to make some “friends” along the way.

Little does Futaba know, her life will take another drastic turn when her first love, Kou Mabuchi, returns after his sudden disappearance years ago in middle school. Despite his extended absence, the fond memories they shared together still linger in her mind, and she wishes to return to those days. But she realizes that the sweet, gentle boy of the past has completely vanished, and in his place stands someone cold and pessimistic. While he admits that her feelings for him back then were mutual, he warns that they can never go back to the past, as everything, including him, has changed.

2.     Beauty Pop

Although a truly gifted hairstylist, Kiri Koshiba has no interest in using her talent to pursue fame and fortune, unlike the three popular boys in the "Scissors Project" at school. Determined to become the best makeover team in Japan, they give showy makeovers to handpicked girls. As much as Kiri tries to shy away from the Scissors Project spotlight, she finds herself responding to beauty's call...

3.      Blue Sky Playground

On a cold day, Mirita finds discovers a hidden room with a kotatsu (a table that keeps one warm) inside. The kotatsu belongs to two of the most popular and handsome twin brothers in school. Both immediately kick Mirita out. However, Mirita becomes even more determined to get back into that room. What love triangle will commence?

4.    Boku kara Kimi ga Kienai  

Hotaru managed to get in the same high school where Haruna-sensei teaches to see him again! However, on her first day there, she meets a very unpleasant guy who looks just like her beloved sensei...?

5.      Dear!

Rei, Kazuma and Banri are close childhood friends. Rei, who's better than any guy, the cool and smart Kazuma and Banri who's mischievous and bright have the perfect balance. It's normal for the three of them to be together all the time and without thinking of themselves as men and woman they're just together. But something happens after which Rei starts to think of Banri as a "man", so the relation of the three changes...?!

6.       Faster than a Kiss

After losing their parents, Fumino and her brother hop from one relative to another. Getting tired of all those moves, she finally decides to quit school and work to support her brother on her own. As they sat on a park bench, her teacher appears in front of her and agrees to her demands of marrying and supporting both her and her brother!! Is he serious or just playing around...?!

7.      Haru Matsu Bokura

The timid and reserved Mitsuki Haruno seeks her dream sociable life at high school. But despite her best efforts, her ineptitude to speak her mind impedes her from befriending anyone. Nonetheless, while working at a cafe one day, she has a fateful encounter with her school's four idolized basketball players—Towa Asakura, Rui Miyamotoi, Ryuuji Tada, and Kyousuke Wakamiya. At first glance, these four heartthrobs come off as arrogant individuals, responsible for invading her cafe's safe haven. Soon after though, as they uphold their promise of keeping her workplace a secret, Mitsuki starts to see them in a new light.

Hence begins an improbable friendship between Mitsuki and the boys, as her days of solitude finally comes to an end. However, things aren't always so simple—with her heart waning toward Asakura and the female students green with envy, is there a chance this friendship could blossom into something more?

8.      Hirunaka no Ryuusei 

Suzume Yosano has spent the entire 15 years of her life in the countryside, so when her parents decide to move overseas for work and leave her with her uncle in Tokyo, she finds herself in a whole new environment. On the way to her uncle's house, however, she gets lost and faints.

Waking up safely at her uncle's house, she learns that a strange man had carried her there and that he happens to be an acquaintance of her uncle. Moreover, when Suzume goes to her new school for the first time, she discovers that the weird man in question, named Satsuki Shishio, is actually her homeroom teacher! Now, Suzume must adapt to her new school and make friends, since her blossoming high school life in the city has just begun!

9.    Hoshi to Kuzu - Don't Worry, Be Happy   

Anzu is poor but very ambitious and aims for a bright future. Her first step is to be student council president but that chance is destroyed by the equally ambitious and egocentric Yamabuki. She just has to settle for being the vice-president.

10.  Iya da Nante Iwasenai 

Anzu currently works part-time at a beach house however when it comes to serving male customers, she can't help but be cold and shy. When she accidentally spills a drink on one of them, a male co-worker saves her who ends up being her childhood friend Rei. Anzu is happy to reconnect with Rei, however, Rei might be after a bit more...?

11.   Kaichou wa Maid-sama

Seika High School was an all-boys school, but it has since turned co-ed. Misaki Ayuzawa is the first female student council president of the school, eventually earning the nickname of the "Demon President" due to her mastery of Aikido and imposed iron rule.

However, Misaki harbors an embarrassing secret—she has to work at a maid café to support her family. If anybody from her school was to find out, her reputation would be utterly destroyed. And after Takumi Usui—the most popular boy at school—discovers her secret, that might just happen.

12.  Kaoru-kun to Hana no Mori 

Kaoru is as kind as a prince towards girls. She would love to met men stronger than her! And then, two men appeared in front of her...

13.  Katakoi no Tsuki

Kurumi likes Souta-kun, but what happens when Kurumi witnesses Souta-Kun hugging one of her friends? Could Souta-kun already have someone he likes or is Kurumi misunderstanding? What can she do if that girl is her friend, too!?

14.  Katakoi Triangle

Sekiya-san of the cultural library has an unrequited love for Yuuki-kun. The one who cares about Sekiya-san is the popular Kasai-kun, who is also Yuuki-kun's friend! And, what's this? Yuuki-kun is rooting for Kasai-kun?! It seems that everyone's feelings are one-sided...or are they?

15.  Kimi to Koi no Tochuu 

Just when I thought it'd start with you, you disappeared; I would've never thought this... Yuna has lost trust in love after her first boyfriend Takumi broke up with her. Shiina-kun from her class has already confessed to her twice and now finally she approached onto love another time. But Takumi appears in front of her!! What will the swaying Yuna do!?

16.   Kyoudai Gokko

Growing up, Takara Rio has always wanted siblings. So when her parents decide to move overseas without her and tells her she will be living with two people around her age, she's cautiously optimistic. But they turn out to be brothers who fight like cats and dogs. Is this what having siblings is like?

17.  Last Game 

Nothing is beyond Naoto Yanagi, heir to the Yanagi business conglomerate. Idolized for his athletic and intellectual competence, looks and wealth, Naoto lived like a king during his elementary school days—then entered Mikoto Kujou, a plain, gloomy-looking transfer student.

Due to her low financial status, Naoto was initially apathetic towards Mikoto. But despite having just arrived at his school, she completely eclipsed him in everything by consistently scoring top marks in exams and placing first in athletic events. After a brief confrontation with her that left him shocked, Naoto vowed to outdo her no matter the cost.

Ten years later, they are now students attending the same college. Having failed to defeat Mikoto throughout middle and high school, Naoto decides they will have one last game: if he can make Mikoto fall in love with him and then break her heart, it will be his victory. However, he finds himself falling in love with her instead...

18.  Last Notes 

Haru and Aki are the masters of the branch store - an old-looking and very unusual shop. It sells only one thing: a special kind of incense that, when burned, allows the user to see and speak with the spirit of the dead person that appears in the smoke. Every customer has a different reason for calling up the dead, and how they use this unusual opportunity is up to them...

19.  Love Berrish 

15 year-old Yuya Fukushima has always wanted to live on her own, in an inn next to her school. This new dorm of hers, the Strawberry Tree Dorm, turns out to be a place with weird people -- a girl that touches her chest out of the blue, a guy with one of the shortest tempers ever. BUT the good thing is, there's a really handsome and nice guy that she fell in love with instantly! Also, not to mention a crazy cat who adores him (looks can be deceiving...). Yuya's life has just became much more interesting...

20.   Mata Ashita

Towa's always been shy around guys, despite being a total tomboy. This has crushed her chances of ever having a boyfriend, but a perhaps fateful encounter on the first day of high school might lead to love? But will it be with the surprisingly kind "angelic" delinquent, or the popular yet secretly "devilish" prince?!

21.  Momo Raba 

Chieri (Cherry) was living an ordinary life, until her sister Ichigo (Strawberry) suddenly left her child Momo (Peach) on Chieri's doorstep. Momo is an infant; how is Chieri supposed to take care of a baby while still in high school!? To make matters even more frustrating, two guys are fighting for Chieri's love...!

22.   Monokuro Shounen Shoujo

Kureha Mimachi, a 15-year-old girl, has just transferred into Shiritsu Kenhono High School. However, there is something weird about this school, it is actually a school where the Princes and Princesses of the beast-kind go to! Even though Kureha is human, she is there as a way to help the students lead their lives peacefully with humans and has the role as the "rabbit". Will she be able survive without being eaten by the students? Only time and her hidden bodyguards will be able to answer that...

23.   Ouran High School Host Club

At Ouran High School, an academy where only the children of the rich and powerful attend, there exists a club consisting of the most elite of the student body: the legendary Host Club. Within the club's room, six beautiful, bored boys spend their time entertaining equally beautiful and bored girls.

Haruhi Fujioka, a poor scholarship student, has no interest in the Host Club—until she breaks a valuable vase in their clubroom. After being mistaken for a boy, Haruhi is forced by Kyouya Ootori to work for the Host Club to repay her debt. Tamaki Suou, the princely leader of the club, eagerly takes her under his wing to teach her the ways of the host. Things, however, are never quite so simple with the Host Club around. Even the most mundane events can turn into huge spectacles with the likes of prankster twins Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, stoic Takashi Morinozuka, and sweet Mitsukuni "Hunny" Haninozuka. The crazy adventures of the Host Club are just beginning, and Haruhi must learn how to survive in the glitzy world of the hosts.

24.  Parfait Tic

Fuuko is a happy and cheerful girl. One day, two cousins, Daiya and Ichi, move into the apartment upstairs. Cold Ichi and mischievous Daiya gave a very bad first impression. All three are going to the same school as well. How will Fuuko's high school life turn out?

25.  Renren Zakari 

The day of her graduation, while she was lost and end up on the infirmary, a girl met by coincidence a good looking boy. But she was so panicked that the young man started to make fun of her...?

26.  Rockin Heaven 

Sawa applies to Heaven's Wing Academy, thinking she would look cute in the uniform. But she never expected the academy to be a previously all-boys' school! And the head honcho of the school, the class president himself doesn't seem to like her one bit and takes no pains to hide it. At first, adjusting to life at the academy is tough. Sawa is bullied and teased, and the boys in the class even throw her new shoes in the water. While attempting to retrieve her shoes, she falls into the water and is unexpectedly saved by Ran, who up until this point has made her life hell. The newfound gentleness in Ran intrigues her, and she finds herself falling for him. What will her days be like for the rest of her school life?

27. Saiouji Kyoudai ni Komarasareru no mo Warukunai  

Satou Fuuka is an orphan. Her aunt, who was her guardian, absconded in the night, leaving her with no money. Her parents wanted her to go to school, so she was looking for a job to cover her school expenses and rent (plus living expenses, though she didn't mention it). She goes to be interviewed for a part-time house helper job but is rejected before she can say anything, because the guy offering the job is the eldest for 4 brothers and it's an all-male household. She pours out her story, so he takes pity on her (even though he'd pointed out that she can't really take a part-time job if she doesn't have a guardian) and offers the job as a live-in position. However, he has one condition: she's supposed to disguise herself so his brothers don't take an interest in her. Her disguise: lots of towels around her body, so she looks fat; makeup so she looks old (39); plus her hair is all loose and she's wearing glasses.

28.   Sekirara ni Kiss

Chitose has always done well wearing her face like a mask: always smiling, always cute. She feels complete whenever she put it on because it's built to hide her unrefined self: no one hates her, and no one makes fun of her. But after meeting a cute boy who is instinctively more annoyed by her mask than her real self, can Chitose change and make people accept her for who she really is?

29.  Shiawase Kissa Sanchoume 

Uru is a very short girl and is constantly mistaken for an elementary school kid, but despite that, she is ridiculously strong and decides to live by herself after her mother gets remarried. She ends up working at a small cafe with two rather unique co-workers, Shindou, who acts gruff and intimidating, but who is really a nice guy who loves to make cakes and pies and the like, and Ichirou, who is really good-looking but who instantly falls asleep when he gets hungry and doesn't wake up again until he's force-fed something? What will the future bring to them?

30.  Stardust Wink 

I’m Anna. I’m 14 years old and I’ve just entered the ninth grade. Sou and Hinata, who live in the same apartment complex as me, are my childhood friends and we’re all the same age. I thought that from now on we’d become even closer friends, but then Sou suddenly did that to me…!!

31.  Strobe Edge 

Having no experience in romance, the vibrant Ninako curiously explores the meaning of what "love" really is, and is surprised to feel a colorful range of emotions as she grows closer to the school heartthrob, the quiet yet gentle Ren, who also happens to be involved in a longtime relationship. With every intention of keeping her head held high, Ninako prepares to face the mental pain of this one-sided love that she had allowed to take root, facing a series of trials that would either contribute to her growth as a headstrong woman, or break her as it did with other girls.

32.  Suki desu Suzuki-kun

Suzuki Hikaru, Hoshino Sayaka, Itou Chihiro and Suzuki Shinobu are all new students who have just entered the same middle school. Sayaka is a shy girl who secretly loves acting. Hikaru is an energetic boy who loves basketball. Incidentally, he shares the same last name with Shinobu, a popular rich boy who would be perfect if not for his rotten personality. Chihiro is Hikaru's childhood friend and has long had a crush on him. On the day of the opening ceremony, Hikaru happens to witness Sayaka acting out the lines of a drama on the rooftop and is instantly captivated. Upon seeing Hikaru getting along with Sayaka, Chihiro's chest begins to ache. When Shinobu sees this, he is overcome by a strange emotion and his heart starts beating faster... Unbeknownst to the four, this is the beginning of their magnificent love story; one that would last years to come.

33.  Taiyou no Ie 

After her mother abandoned her and her father remarried, high schooler Mao Motomiya is left feeling like she doesn't have a place where she belongs. One night, her childhood friend Hiro Nakamura finds her in a shrine eating cheap convenience store food and offers to take her to a restaurant. Their subsequent heart to heart leads to Hiro suggesting that Mao move in with him. To Hiro who has lived apart from his younger siblings all these years after their parents passed away, bringing his family back together in the once-lively Nakamura home begins with the first step of giving Mao a loving place to belong. When Mao reluctantly accepts his invitation, she is surprised at how easy it is to settle in with her longtime friend. Now she must deal not only with mending her relationship with her father and helping the oldest Nakamura brother attain his goal, but also her growing feelings for Hiro.

34.   The Maid at My House

Runako is studying hard to someday succeed as owner of her family's maid dispatching service company. One day, a request comes in from an entertainment production company and shockingly, it's for their super-popular star, Seirei Moroboshi! But could it be that the image he projects on the TV is far different than his true secret face...?!

35.  Tonari no Koigataki 

Hiro-kun and Icchan are both very important childhood friends to Akane. She thought they would always and forever be good friends, but...

36.  Tsubasa to Hotaru 

Tsubasa to Hotaru follows 15-year-old Tsubasa Sonokawa, a young student—and a renowned stalker? After one very romantic gesture by a popular upperclassman, she falls head over heels for who she believes to be her one true love. Unfortunately, love can be deceiving, as her feelings are soon proven to be one-sided; the upperclassman directly tells her that she's annoying and that she needs to stop bothering him. How's that for some tough love? Shortly after this horrific heartbreak, her good friend Yuri suffers from a sprained wrist, making it impossible for her to continue her position as the basketball team's manager. After some coaxing on Yuri's part, Tsubasa decides to take on the role in her place. This may be the perfect opportunity for Tsubasa to move on and forget about her unrequited love. On Tsubasa's first day as a manager, the team's shooting guard Aki Hidaka saves her from being hit by a ball. Is this another fateful encounter? Or just a random, meaningless event? One thing is for certain: Tsubasa's days will never be the same again.

37.   Uwasa no Midori-kun

Midori Yamate is a 15 year-old girl and is very much a tomboy. When she was young, Midori meets a boy called Tsukasa Hino, who came to the island she lives on for a holiday. He teaches her to play soccer and she falls in love with the sport. Midori is inspired by Tsukasa and continues to play soccer in hopes that they would meet again someday. When they do meet again Tsukasa does something unforgivable. Determined to defeat Tsukasa on the soccer field Midori enrolls in an all boy high school.

38.  Yagami-kun wa, Kyou mo Ijiwaru

 Just by talking to the famous Yagami-kun, Shizuku's high school life has become hard even from the start—!?

39.  Yumemiru Taiyou

While loitering in the park, Shimana Kameko, who intended to run away from home and skip school, meets a suspicious man in a kimono. This man, who had been locked out of his house, offers Shimana a place to stay. However, he requests she fulfill three conditions in exchange for her tenancy!?

[and-damntheconsequences]

Modern Merlin AU — With Gays and Churches

Slight CW for religious homophobia, and ofc I know that the majority of Christians are loving and beautiful people 💕

**

The Cast:

Uther: A firmly anti-gay pastor who is well known and mostly respected by the congregation and the community.

Ygraine: Uther's ex wife who divorced him after she found about an affair he had once had with a woman who named Vivian.

Arthur: Their son, who lives entirely with Uther and attends a religious school nearby.

Leon: Arthur's friend who also attends that school, who's parents have been going to Uther's church for years and years.

Merlin: A boy who recently joined the school after moving with his uncle, who teaches there. Also a closeted gay.

Gaius: An old friend of Uther's, a teacher at the school, and the only other person who knows about the affair.

Morgana: Uther's child from his affair with Vivian. She moves in with Uther when she's 10, since her mother can't financially support them both anymore.

Gwen: A girl at the school, who Arthur dates briefly in order to "prove" that he is straight.

Elyan: Gwen's brother, who lived with more distant family for a few years and has recently returned.

All other "round table" knights: New kids (they arrive at different times) who's parents have recently converted to Christianity and enrolled them in the school. Gwaine's family actually came from another church but he doesn't talk about that much, since he's not actually religious himself. Also Gwaine picks fights with homophobic teachers.

Kilgharrah: Either an angel, a demon, God Himself, or the school principal, I can't decide. Whichever he is, he occasionally pops up to give both Merlin and Arthur utterly useless life advice, in whatever form that takes depending on who he is. If he's somehow celestial, it's probably through sarcastic comments in dreams. If he's the school principal, he's just... That teacher that decides that stopping you in the corridor to Impart Words Of Adult Wisdom is a great use of everyone's time.

**

The Plot:

Uther becomes pastor at a church, and marries Ygraine. She disagrees with many of his views, but doesn't speak up about them, wanting to be a "good wife". That is, until she discovers that he once had an affair with a woman named Vivian and gave her a child. Ygraine then quietly divorces him and leaves, too afraid of making a fuss to try to get custody of Arthur. Uther tells everyone, including Arthur, that it was her choice to leave and that she willingly parted from the ways of the Lord. No one knows about the affair except him, her, and Vivian (and Gaius).

Arthur grows up with only Uther, not having many close friends, only Leon, who he's known his whole life and who's parents are also very religious. When Arthur is around 10, Vivian turns up on their doorstep, insisting that she has fallen into financial trouble, and cannot look after her child anymore. Uther takes Morgana in, insisting it was an act of charity on his behalf, and that Vivian was only an old friend. Everyone believes he is being a good samaritan, but secretly he hopes that if he "redeems" his child to the church, he may find redemption for what he did. Arthur and Morgana are the same age, and Uther begs Morgana not to tell Arthur the truth (threatening her for if she does), so he doesn't know she's his sister. They get on, mostly, but Arthur's a bit of a prat in lecturing her about God sometimes because he thinks that's how you make friends.

Anyway, a few years later, when Arthur is around 14, Merlin joins his school (they're roughly the same age here, Merlin only a few months younger.) He was sent to his uncle by his mother, since he came out to her and she didn't accept him. She wanted him to go to church and a religious school to "fix" him. He now lives with Gaius, and goes back into the closet for the time he's at school. He quickly becomes friends with Gwaine, who doesn't have many friends and is constantly in trouble for arguing with bigoted teachers.

Because he's really academic, Uther asks Gaius if it would be possible for Merlin to come round and help tutor Arthur in order to catch Arthur up with his studies, so Merlin starts coming around every Tuesday and Thursday. They slowly become friends, despite Merlin being quite rude, and Arthur having the most frustrating "holier than thou" attitude because he's the priest's son. Merlin develops a crush on him, and quickly gives up on trying to deny his sexuality to himself, but he can't tell Arthur, or anyone else.

In time, Merlin stops being so afraid of his own sexuality, and sneaks off to a pride parade and attends an LGBT group a couple of times. Gaius suspects what he might be doing, but says nothing.

When Morgana turns 16, she tells them all that she thinks she might be a lesbian. She's scared, but hopes that Uther may be understanding. Instead, he kicks her out, despite Arthur's protests that it isn't fair. She goes to live with some friends in similar situations, and over the next few months, cuts off Uther completely, changes school, and starts regularly attending LGBTQ+ events and just generally living her best lesbian life.

This makes Uther incredibly angry, and he takes it out on Arthur a lot, who starts going to Gaius and Merlin's after school to avoid him. He texts Morgana a bit, but is afraid to keep close contact with her, and still sees homosexuality as a sin. However, this whole situation has made him actually think about his own sexuality, and he's now afraid that maybe HE himself isn't totally straight. To prove that he is to himself, he asks Gwen on a date, but he can't ever truly like her, and she knows that.

At the same time, Merlin is trying to get rid of his crush on Arthur because he doesn't want to ruin that friendship, so he starts going to pride groups weekly, to meet others. He meets Will, a trans guy, and they almost date for a while, but Merlin can't commit to it because of his own feelings. Morgana happens to meet him there, and at first that interaction is a little awkward, but instead of pressuring him, she just gives him a hug, and tells him it's okay, she's learnt that now. She'll always be here for him if he needs to feel safe away from Uther/Arthur, or the school as a whole. He tells her that he hopes Arthur could be different from his father, and she says she hopes so, but she doesn't believe he would be — he seems to hate her too now. But that's okay. She's got a new family now. She's happy.

And then, eventually, Arthur comes to accept his own feelings, and Gwen does hers. He talks to Merlin about how he isn't sure if he's straight, and eventually they date, and then kiss. Gwen has a Bisexual Awakening™, and she reconnects with Morgana (they were friends before Morgana left) and they date too. Hunith (who's been having a side plot of researching things and learning and becoming a better, more accepting person) comes to stay with Gaius for a while, and tells Merlin she loves him, and will always love him no matter who he's with, and she's sorry she never said that before now.

When Arthur turns 18, his mother reaches out to him. She was too afraid to risk upsetting Uther and the church before, but she wants to know if he's okay. He's angry at her for all the years she was silent, and all the things he didn't know, and for leaving him, but in time, she tells him the truth. Morgana also tells Arthur the truth, knowing now that he doesn't blindly believe his father, and this won't tear a rift between them. Uther's affair is then revealed to the whole congregation, most of whom are appalled, and his reputation is ruined. The church gets a new pastor.

Some of the kids realise that they don't need religion to be valid and happy, and others realise that they can have both religion and love, and God can love them no matter who they are with. Both are okay, and everyone accepts everyone. They all live their best, gayest, cutest, and happiest lives.

***

Feel free to add stuff I love this concept. Also someone needs to write something like this and tag me bc I cannot write this myself — I'm incapable of managing the 3 fics I'm writing at the moment.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.

[cxmetery-gates]

OBSESSIVE TEACHINGS - DARK!TOM HIDDLESTON

CHAPTER THREE: A GOOD SCARY STORY

SUMMARY: With teases and friendly banter, Lynn can’t help but fall under Mr. Hiddleston’s charming spell. WORD COUNT: 2.1k NOTES: Thank you to everyone reading! Dark!fics get a lot of criticism and though the story has not turned into one ((yet)), I’m very humbled by all the likes and reblogs :) WARNINGS:  dark!tom hiddleston, teacher!tom hiddleston

OBSESSIVE TEACHINGS MASTERLIST

"I'M NOT ONE FOR COMPLAINING," I pant– while simultaneously lying with a straight face– dragging my feet up another flight. "But can I ask which floor your room is on?"

Only a step ahead of my slow pace, the male teacher smirks. "Not fond of stairs?"

I shrug. "Not really fond of anything involving exercise."

"I would agree," he glances back, a grin marking his face. He makes a huff, more than likely on my same page, but perhaps better off. He appears to be fit so I'm doubting three flights of stairs is killing him like it's slaughtering me. "But, a morning run isn't the worst way to start the day."

My nose wrinkles. "So you're one of those guys? Gotta make those gains, hm?" I'm not sure where my overly confident attitude is coming from. It's not like me to make comments like these to my teachers, Mrs. Gibbons being the exception but even then I am reserved. Something about being close to Mr. Hiddleston has completely altered my professionalism around people of a higher authority. Hopefully it doesn't last long and I don't run into the principle any time soon.

Finally, after what seemed like climbing Mount Doom, we reach the last step. Pausing, Mr. Hiddleston looks down to me. "You've got quite the nerve talking to your superior like a classmate."

It's obvious he's teasing, so I go along. "My superior? What, because you're a hundred thousand dollars in debt thanks to a fancy piece of paper and you've got a couple more decades on your shoulders?"

"'A couple decades?'" He repeats, quite amused.

I shrug with sass coating my entire being. "Give or take. What are you, forty? Nearing fifty?"

His gives a chuckle. "Try thirty-three."

"Really?" I ask doing a small run down while he looks away. I don't find myself in the company of thirty-somethings all that often but I can't lie; he's looking really good, especially from the backside. Mr. Hiddleston hums, and I'm not sure if that was a positive or negative sound. "You sure? Because I could have sworn I saw some grays up there."

"Oh, ha ha, you're so clever," he mocks, voice suddenly raising just a couple octaves. It causes me to jump but I giggle, feeling a strange girly feeling arise from my stomach. All I can do is tell myself not to throw up from nerves, over and over in my head.

Feeling just as confident, I reply with a whisper. "Shh! There are classes in session! You're going to get detention!"

He shakes his head. Mr. Hiddleston attempts to be serious but there's humor and teases filled between each word. "Funny you mention that: I happen to be the teacher in change of detention this week. And don't think I won't put you there because you're helping me: any other teacher would have landed you a weeks worth just from your comment on my age."

My eyes roll. "As if. You're too nice."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Positive," I reply, a smirk hanging on my lips.

He looks down, given my lack of height, and I move my face towards him comically. There's a smirk playing on his thin lips, the corners desperately trying to form a smile. Eye contact remains steady, but I see it more as a funny, friendly game of domination. A moment passes before he looks away, a small sigh parting his lips. "We'll see about that," Mr. Hiddleston retorts, causing me to chuckle.

From his belt, he wears one of those mini extendable cables that can hold all sorts of keys and chains. I'm honestly not quite sure what they're called. Fumbling with the keys, Mr. Hiddleston flips through several before find the the right one and pulling it towards the door, a thin wire keeping a hold on the instrument. When I was much younger, my mother would wear one clipped to the pocket of her scrubs, but hers was smaller, only allowing another clip for her RN tag. Each night consisted of me as a toddler pulling on the name tag and watching the cord return to the circular piece of plastic, unable to see the thin cable coil within. The small piece of nostalgia sets a comforting warmth in my chest.

Despite the insignificant memory, I snicker at his device. The sight of such a young and handsome man keeping his keys together with such an instrument is dorky, and definitely cute.

"Welcome to my humble abode," he sighs, flipping the fluorescent lights on. I follow him in while getting a look around his classroom.

It's relatively simple and mundane, surprisingly enough. Not like I was expecting red velvet walls or a jacuzzi, but maybe something with a bit more personality. The walls are neatly littered with the typical English teacher posters, from "Best Shakespeare Quotes" to the differences between "to," "too," and "two." There's a blank white board in front of rows of desks and a projection screen pulled down over it. Across the room are a few book shelves consisting of dictionaries, thesauruses, and books worth reading. From the distance I can easily spot several of my own favorite books, instantly earring couple brownie points from me.

I follow Mr. Hiddleston who takes a left, as a wall with a pencil sharpener blocks the right. We walk parallel to a wall which is entirely ceiling high cabinets, all closed to the curious eye. His desk sits catty corner and is much like his classroom: mess free and boring. I consider making a comment but stop myself when I notice a few photos on the filing cabinet. One is him with a graduation cap and gown, his hands bearing a diploma. The next looks like a guys night out with Mr. Hiddleston wearing a (distractingly tight) black shirt and two other men accompanying him. And last, and the one that is set before the others, is a picture of the teacher with an older woman. I can only assume it's his mother. This causes a heart warmed smile to etch across my face. It's always lovely and precious to see older men respecting and appreciating their mothers. My own tells me "mama's boys" are the worst type of man to date because in her mind, they are still children who cling to their mothers for support, emotion and financially. I have to remind her that it's not the case for every man, just for the guy she chose to marry.

"Please, set the books wherever you like." My random tangent gets interrupted by a voice, causing me to jump six feet. Mr. Hiddleston places his stack of books on his desk. I would follow suit but looking at the small space, I decide to give his personal bubble some room and I move to the nearest student desk.

Brushing my hands over my black jeans, I turn around. While the teacher shuffled through stacks of papers, I awkwardly and silently stand close to his desk. Only a few second pass do I actually realize my situation: me with the hottest teacher, all alone. I can only imagine all the jealous teenagers clawing at this chance. However, I have a job downstairs waiting for me. "Is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. Hiddleston?"

His eyes quickly shoot up. "Oh, uh no. No, thank you." Mr. Hiddleston pauses a moment to set his papers down. "I'm sorry for keeping you. I was looking to see what hour of the day I have you, but it appears there isn't one."

My eyebrows knit together at his comment. "Well, you'd have to look for a "Carolyn" if that were the case." I pause for a moment, confusion riddling my face. "Wait, whaddya mean?" Almost instantly, I'm repulsed by my southern slang, despite myself not having any drawl to my words. My voice is basically that of an incoherent cave woman compared to his smooth, charming accent. Aside from this, I feel myself floating; he's looking for a time to see me again. I have to contain a girlish squeal just as reality sets in. He's probably just curious if he actually has me or is considering making a "see you at this time" comment. Nonetheless, my heart skips a beat or two.

"Most seniors take my course as their final English requirement. Are you not a senior?"

I feel myself dimming at his comment. Unfortunately, it would appear reality strikes again. But it was honestly quite ridiculous for me to even consider the reason why he was looking for my name was for something other than educational. However, I simultaneously feel my body lighting up. "Oh, no, I definitely am a senior. I chose the writing class for my English elective. I, uh, want to be a writer so I figured it would help in the long run."

Mr. Hiddleston seems interested in what I have to say. Most tell me writing isn't a career or I have a one in a million chance in making it big. Well, if George Lucas can write the three prequels all alone and still make bank, I think I've got a pretty good shot. "Fascinating! What is your preferred genre?"

With some hesitation, I blurt out, "Fantasy, but also some horror and thrillers. I've tried sci-fi once; didn't work out too well."

"I love a good scary story," he comments, giving me a wink. I take this as a small gesture, but my insides are literally screaming. Never has a friendly wink turned me into a flustering mess. Part of me say he knows what he can do, and if that's the case, he's quite the cocky bastard.

Playing along, I give my shoulder a shrug and coolly reply, "Perhaps I can run a rough or final draft by you."

"I wouldn't mind that at all."

How does such a small statement cause all my organs and two hundred and six bones to turn into jelly?

Brushing my long hair from my face, I peek over at the clock. It's been a bit longer than I expected, the hands informing me I have five minutes left of my first class period. "Well, I ought to get going if there isn't anything else I can do for you?" I make sure to say this in the form of a question. I wouldn't mind being late to my next class just to see a gorgeous face a while longer.

Mr. Hiddleston's lips part for a moment just before clamming shut. The look in his blue eyes tell me he wants to say something, but doesn't. I'm not sure what would constitute such a hesitation; initially, I thought he would have asked me to help shelve the twenty-or-so books. The look is intense, or appears to be, just for a flash, less than a second. My own anxieties begin to shake just as a kind smile grows along his lips. "No, but I do appreciate the offer. Thank you, Carolyn."

I visibly cringe at my legal name, this look not going by the teacher so easily. He bursts a small laugh. "Not a fan or your name, are we?"

Shaking my head, I say, "No particularly. It's a bit vintage. Well, not terribly so, but I'm not over the moon about it." I pause awkwardly, my flustered nerves getting the better of me. I croak out some sounds before finishing my tangent. "I go by Lynn, though."

"Lynn it is then," Mr. Hiddleston announces. "I'll let you get going then. The bell will ring soon and I don't want you to be late on your first day back because of me."

I smirk while crossing over to the door. "Nah, I don't mind." Instantly I want to smack the back of my head. To anyone listening it would sound like I had been flirting with a teacher. Well, to be fair it would have sounded like it not matter what time someone were to jump in at. Even so, this comment I naturally came up with put me in a case of "oh fuck." With reddened cheeks, I take a look over my shoulder so see Mr. Hiddleston unfazed by my comment, thank the holy lord, except a ever growing smile. He takes his eyes off the paper in front of him, meeting me with his pretty blues.

"I'll see you around, Lynn."

"Likewise." And with that, I part down the hall, this time invested in taking the elevator.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

TAGLIST:

@khadineberry​

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TAGGED, LET ME KNOW!

[macattackp]

Lies Chronically Ill/Injured People Tell Themselves:

1. I Am a Burden Who Only Takes From Others and Can Never Give Back

We all have things that we feel we SHOULD be able to provide. As a guy, it KILLS me that I can’t do things like shovel the driveway, help carry heavy items, or have a job that could make me a breadwinner for someone.

Don’t undersell what you do bring though! For one thing, chronically ill/injured people tend to be masters of empathy, not to mention we get pretty knowledgeable on the medical system. If you aren’t... don’t fret over it! If you can’t do something, then don’t! Focus on what you CAN do instead!

2. I Am Undeserving of Love Because Who Would Take on a Burden Like Me?

This one is another huge struggle for a lot of people. I know as a guy, I feel the added pressure of being worthless if I can’t provide financially for a girl. (No matter how progressive people may be, this progressiveness tends to vanish when their daughters’ well being are concerned), but I know just as many girls who say the same things.

“How can someone love me when I just am stuck in bed all day?” “Why would someone choose me if I could never have kids?” “Who would choose a spouse who may not be able to have sex?”

Look. I’ll be honest, I have no wise advice on this one as to find someone who is willing to support you on your struggles. Nor can I be dense and say “You’re just misreading people!” because let’s admit it... our lives are tough and there are many who would choose not to join us.... what I can say though... is I have had friends who had chronic illnesses. Some could never have sex. Some would require tons of medical expenses. Some were missing limbs or body parts. One was even pretty much guaranteed to die before she turned 30.... And they ended up getting married, and loved, and supported. I don’t know what the future holds for you, but I do know it IS possible! So don’t put yourself down or give up hope!

3. I Have to Work Harder to Keep Up With Everyone or Else I Will be a Failure!

This world has a main road, but that main road has a lot of cracks... and there are probably more people in this world who have fallen through the cracks, than walk on the main road. But we feel like everyone in this world is on the main road because once people fall through the cracks they tend to be overlooked even though there are so many of them.

It is not fair, nor is it doable to be expected to keep up with others when you are carrying a different burden. We have the Paralympics for a reason. Would you ask a man with one leg to race against the Olympic sprinters? Would you ask someone carrying a massive boulder to outrun someone without one?

And in all honesty, it is not always as cut and dry as “Accept you’ll get 4th or 5th place.” Our world tends to try to put us on rails. We make everything systematic and anything that doesn’t fit within our metrics is considered broken. We often judge people more by their process than their results! But the way laid out by others as the “Right way” isn’t always the only or even the best way! 

Learn how YOUR body works! I was a horrible student in school until I finally gave up relying on teachers and just studied the way I enjoyed it. I figured at that point “As long as I pass, what else matters.” but had the added surprise when I jumped from a 60′s-70′s student at best to my lowest grade being a 94! It doesn’t always work out this well, but your body is yours. No one else can tell you how it works. Learn from what people have done in the past but look for the way YOU work best! When you look back you realize, none of the biggest world changers really ever lived their lives by the book anyways!

4. I Have To Get Better So I Can Have a Life!

To an extent, this makes sense. Without energy, or finances, and with a schedule stuffed to the gills with doctors appointments meaning you can never go far from home... it is hard to feel like there is really much you can do... but... at the same time....

YOU ARE ALIVE NOW!

You may not have the finances to do what you want. You may not have the social life that you enjoy. You may not have an overabundance of time or energy... But you are alive RIGHT now! You are allowed to live!

Write that book you always wanted! Learn a new language! Cook yourself a big meal! You may tell yourself “BUT I HAVE SO MUCH OTHER STUFF I SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON INSTEAD!” 

Look! That stuff will be there whether you focus on it 24/7 or 12/5! Don’t let it get out of hand, but if you aren’t going to be able to solve it by worrying about it more then don’t! Spend your time doing things that will revitalize you, help you grow, and give you some interesting stories to tell once this is all over!

5. I Am Not Allowed to Be Happy or Have Fun Until I Am Better!

This one is a tough one as it ties into our impostor syndrome. That horrible feeling that we get every time we start to enjoy ourselves or smile in public of “Oh no! What if people assume I’ve been faking this whole time?!?!?!”

You are allowed to laugh. You are allowed to smile. You are allowed to have good things happen to you. Yeesh, there is no time in life that it is more important to have happy moments than through hardships!

Being happy or enjoying yourself from time to time through hardships isn’t a sign that your hardships were never that hard. It is a sign that you are fighting forward. That you aren’t letting this take over your life. And plus, as human beings we NEED hope and happiness... we die both mentally and physically without it

6. There is No Future After This

This is one that I personally struggle with... if we count the 6 years of trauma as a kid that originally gave me PTSD, and these last 7+ years of pushing as hard as I can only to fail harder and harder (including these last 2.5 years that have been giving me a whole new layer of trauma on top of my previous trauma) I’m reaching the point where more than half my life has been going through miserable, destructive times where I lose most things that matter to me and find myself alone at the start again in a dark place. It is hard... honestly... Anyone who follows my account and sees my tagless venting posts know that there are more than enough times I question why I even try anymore when I don’t even know what’s left of me...

But there was a movie I watched a while ago... another cheesy hallmark movie, but it was a good one as far as hallmark movies go. I remember they had this one line in it that really stuck with me.

“I’ve lost everything 3-4 times now! It’s the perfect place to start!”

Now I’m not as optimistic as that ambitious old man from the movie was... but I do know this.... You never know what life can hold. The same way you can lose everything that matters to you in a year, I’ve seen people gain more than they ever thought possible in a week. Not to say we are all about to win the lottery or by some miracle wake up completely healed of all afflictions... but I do believe that if it was possible to have things go this bad, it is also possible for things to go much better.

And let’s admit it. You might be thinking “Oh! But I’m not strong enough to make it happen!” and you’d be right... you aren’t. But honestly who is? We live in a world where tons of people succeed or fail... and very few I can say “earned it.”

Life IS unfair, but if it wasn’t, we’d all be dead! What we really get upset about is that it seems to be more unfair in some peoples’ favour than our own. But life is tough. The fact that any of us live is a miracle in itself. Don’t limit what the future holds for you based on what you feel you’re able to do. You aren’t a static person, and this world doesn’t rise or fall on your shoulders either! (even though it feels like that most mornings). Give it your best with what you’ve got every day, and realize even if each day feels like a year, this is still only a season of life. Personally I want to fight and survive long enough to see a day where this all seems like it was worth it!

7. I Will Never Be Self Sufficient!

The lie in this one isn’t that you will be self sufficient! The lie is that people assume ANYONE is self sufficient!

Look. Do you see people growing their own food? Even if they do, do they grow their own fertilizer? Even if they do, did they build their house from scratch, their car, their fridge, do all their electrical work, never once look up anything on the internet?!?!?! No!

We are NOT a self sufficient species. From the minute we are born we NEED people just to stay alive let alone to succeed! So you have to rely on people in a way you don’t see others needing to rely on people! Does an electrician complain that he needs to call someone to fix the backed up pipes when the plumber doesn’t??? No! That would be stupid! And to try and fix it on his own would be stupider! 

You are ALLOWED to rely on others. You are ALLOWED to ask for help. This doesn’t make you any less of a person! This makes you human!

8. I’m Not Worth It . . .

This is something I struggled with even before I realized just how much was stacked against me from the start... I remember one time, someone very precious to me sat down in front of me and for 15 minutes she said nothing else but “YOU ARE WORTHY!” She repeated it over and over again in different ways, not letting me talk and refusing to say anything else until I finally just accepted that I maybe was. Times change, and she may not be around to say that anymore, but those words still stick with me, and that moment still pops in my head every time I am feeling really down on myself like a planted warrior to fight against my internal self doubt...

There are many things in our lives that make us feel worthless.... “I messed up and hurt them.” “I have a lot of health concerns.” “I am not attractive.” “I have a perverted mind.” “I don’t fit with what society says I should be.” “My parents/people who I care about said I wasn’t good enough.” The list goes on... but YOU ARE WORTHY!

“But I don’t deserve to be happy!” YOU DO!

“But I don’t deserve anyone to put up with me.” YOU DO!

“But I don’t deserve a happy life” YOU DO!

“But I don’t deserve a second chance.” YOU DO!

Whatever you’re worried about

Whatever is bugging you

Whatever lies are bouncing around in your head right now saying you should just disappear and stop being a bother to others

YOU

ARE

WORTHY!

Don’t let anyone or anything tell you otherwise, LEAST of all yourself!

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you’re going through. I don’t know what you’ve done or haven’t done.... but I can tell you this right now. You are a one of a kind beautiful life. You are allowed to exist in this world, you are allowed to flourish, you are allowed to enjoy your time with it and interact with others. What’s more, you aren’t just put up with, you are NEEDED! Because there is only one of you out there, and this world needs you. Treat yourself well, and let yourself know just how valuable you are. You are you, and that is beautiful!

[keyders]

full name: montana kıvanç keyder (pronounced kuh-vanch kai-dir). nicknames: tan. gender and pronouns: cis man, he / him. age: thirty. date of birth: may 17, 1990. hometown: pleasance, ohio. nationality: american. religion: muslim. sexual and romantic orientation: bisexual biromantic. occupation: author & stand up comedian. living arrangements: lives with his family and a boarder (PLS GIVE ME THE BOARDER) languages spoken: english, conversational turkish. strange history: the death ranch.

trigger warnings: assault, death, injury, pregnancy.

this is the clown montana, but u can just call him tan. he grew up in pleasance but moved to seattle around 10-ish years ago to study law ( but also bc he had a falling out with his ex-bestie @kincadedonnelly​ which just made the decision to study out of state so much easier ) and only just returned last december!

tan is the middle child of three. he has an older brother and a younger sister. their family used to own a mom and pop store that has since then been bought out by alby and turned into the pleasance general store under new management in 2000. his father had since turned to various enterprises to try and support the family which included carpentry and being a delivery truck driver. his mother, on the other hand, took to music tutoring on the weekends apart from being a high school teacher. needless to say, things had been pretty tough financially on the family since alby took their business away from them.

growing up, tan was p much....mediocre. which was never a dirty word for him, but it was to his parents. it was actually their dream for him to become a lawyer, which he wasn’t exactly opposed to, mostly because he didn’t really have anything else in mind.

he had enough in the way of friends, played sports, did ok in school. wasn’t super smart but also wasn’t at the bottom. he just coasted by and it was fine. he was fine. at least he was funny.

when he was 21, he was accepted into law school thru a scholarship at the university of washington. it was the first time he’d ever really gone out of state, let alone lived away from home on his own.

but seattle treated him well. it was there that he was able to explore more of who he was and what he wanted to be—and really wanted to be—which was, to no one’s surprise, not to become a lawyer, but a writer. a storyteller. but knowing that he couldn’t come home without a law degree, he sought to finish his four-year stay and make his parents proud all the while harboring words in his journal as a hobby.

he was out drinking with his friends when he got into a drunken fight with another patron for some dumb reason he couldn’t even remember anymore even if he tried. it really started early into the night but then hours later when the group was set to go home, they had run into the patron and his friends outside. tan couldn’t keep his blasted mouth shut and the long and short of it is that he’d ended up in the hospital with a dislocated jaw, a broken nose, and a lesion in his brain after he took a crowbar to the head. he was on his last semester of law school.

which, of course, put a damper on his parents’ plans of finally having a lawyer in the family. and it took a while, but throughout the frustration of relearning how to put a shirt on or the staring spells he would have in the living room or the fact that he started having atonic seizures that required a service dog in his aid, he decided to see the silver lining coming about a year into his recovery.

meds were expensive and therapy didn’t come cheap, so when he submitted a column narrating his experience from small-town mediocrity from a turkish-albanian background to big city law school dropout now with a disability card to a local publication, he’d only expected the cash it came with in exchange for his submission; he didn’t expect an email from a guy who, as it turned out, was a pretty big tv producer saying that he’d read his column and wanted to meet up to chat about an ‘opportunity’.

said opportunity turned out to be a job offer. or, well, a trial offer— he was currently producing the second season of a show on comedy central and wanted to invite him on as a writer’s assistant. with no employment opportunities on his immediate horizon ( with the alternative being to book a plane ticket back to ohio ), he knew he couldn’t say no.

the job was not glamorous and the salary was dismal, but it helped him remember how to become a person again, this time in an environment he actually enjoyed. no more case readings, no more depressing internship hunts with law firms who didn’t want him.

as he became more and more immersed into the culture of the show ( and other programs in the network ), he was eventually given his own episodes to write, all the while making his debut on stage as a stand up comic ( which was a difficult feat to even try and muster the courage to face an audience, let alone an audience in bars ). shortly after he’d made a relatively dignified name for himself, he started working on publishing his first book, which he liked to describe as ‘part-memoir, part-fiction, 100% mediocre’ entitled ‘Stop and Smell the...’ which chronicled his experience as a small-town midwestern boy who gre up in an immigrant household and was then living in a big city with a condition that could very well be attributed to his big mouth.

and he was, by no means, famous. maybe not even quasi-famous. but his new life had allowed him to support his family back home especially when his father had come down with a mysterious illness that prohibited him from continuing work. on top of that, his younger sister had gotten pregnant and was then forced to marry a businessman in cincinnati just so she could raise the child.

his father finally succumbed to his illness last december and it was only then that tan finally came home to deal with the funeral arrangements. he took a sabbatical from work, with every intention of his trip back to pleasance being temporary, but it’s months and he still hasn’t found it in him to leave pleasance again.

extras:

he has been living with his family again and has no plans of getting a place on his own since this is just ‘temporary’.

yes, he also brought his service dog, dakota ( and yes, he’s montana and she’s dakota and they’re just quirky like that 🤪 ) with him to pleasance and he takes her everywhere. since the move, dakota has enjoyed the bigger spaces that pleasance has to offer and you can find the pair most often at the park or playing catch on death ranch where the thrill of getting caught has never gotten old since he was seven.

he’s bisexual and he came out in 2013. he’s always sort of known that he’s not just attracted to girls since he was younger ( as evidenced by the will-they-won’t-they relationship he had with his ex-best friend kincade fuckin rippp ) but he’s never really been open about that part of himself until then.

a serial dater and a serial flirt. also soooo so so needy.

he’s a taurus sun with an aries moon so he’s equal parts ‘date me uwu’ and ‘fite me uwu’

like his fc bariş, tan sports a half-sleeve tattoo on his left arm: (body image tw) click here for reference !! also a smiley on his right thigh, his siblings’ initials on his right ankle, and a small ‘K’ on his left hip.

his comedy is very hasan minhaj meets bob newhart: all the ~~~~woke millennial goodness of hasan wrapped with bob newhart’s brand of deadpan delivery sprinkled with a little bit of john mulaney’s observational humor.

[clayolivers]

( ANDY BIERSACK, 29, CIS MALE ) I just bumped into [ CLAYTON OLIVER ] the other day while walking down [ WEST ] Kingsboro, where [ HE / HIM / HIS ] live. I hear they can be [ IMAGINATIVE ] and [ HOT HEADED ], but when I think of them I immediately think about [ SMUGED EYELINER, BLACK COFFEE, & RIPPED JEANS ].

trigger warning:  cheating,  bullying, depression,  therapy,  alcoholism

statistics.

full name :   clayton isaac oliver  nickname(s) :  clay  birth date :  10 / 28 / 90  zodiac :  scorpio  birth place : lee , maine   gender :  cis male  pronouns :  he / him / his  orientation :  pansexual ,  panromantic  occupation : musician ,   singer / guitarist for hometown outcasts current location : west kingsboro ,  new york city  education : high school graduate 

physical.

height :  6′4′’ eye color :  blue  hair color / style :  black ,   worn short and slicked back  dominant hand :  right  style :  almost always wearing black and some sort of leather 

personality. 

positives :  passionate ,   protective ,   charismatic ,  energetic  negatives :  intense ,   competitive ,   sensitive ,  stubborn  mbti : ENFJ moral alignment :  chaotic good  likes :  rainy afternoons ,   acoustic guitar ,  drawing ,  horror movies  dislikes :  closed minds ,   dark chocolate ,  sports ,  math  playlist :  blood // water by grandson ,  forget me too by machine gun kelly ,  lovely by billie eilish ,  monsters by all time low

family.

parents :  florence oliver ,  phil oliver  sibling(s) :  cheryl oliver ( twin ) ,  warren oliver ( younger ) pet(s) : floki ( black cat )  other(s) : dominic oliver ( ex-husband )

background. 

clay was born four minutes before his twin sister,   cheryl,   a fact that he brought up constantly as they grew.   their parents didn’t have much growing up and tried to give their children what they could.  phil worked as a waiter at a local diner and florence was a kindergarten teacher at the elementary school. 

it was difficult to keep up financially with three kids and bills,  but clay’s parents still managed to pull through. when clay was old enough,  he got a job at the diner with his dad as a busboy to help his parents.  things were going ok until they weren’t anymore.  clay started to notice that his dad was becoming close with another waitress  -  too close for it to be appropriate.  he told his mom and that led to her finding out that phil was cheating. the two got divorced and gave the children a choice of who they wanted to live with.  cheryl and clay chose to stay with their mother and   warren chose to go with their dad. 

while all of this was going on,   clay was getting bullied for the way he dressed,  acted,  and who he was attracted to.   his only solace being the music that he created after school and on weekends with jude.  they had been best friends since they were young and eventually those feelings developed into something more.  for the longest time,  clay thought that they were one sided until one night,  after getting a little drunk,  jude kissed him.  they talked about it and started dating despite other people’s opinions. at least clay knew that he would always have the support of his mother and cheryl. 

jude and clay formed a band with two others as senior year progressed. the music started to become more important than his grades and bouts of depression caused him to turn to the bottle more often. drinking became a bad habit that almost completely ended his relationship with jude.  when he saw how bad it was effecting his life,  clay decided to speak to his mom about attending therapy.  it was difficult at first to talk through his unresolved feelings about his dad and his struggles with being vulnerable around even the people closest to him, but eventually clay started doing better. 

after graduation, the band decided to head to kingsboro, nyc in order to hopefully catch their big break.  the only place they could afford at first was a two bedroom apartment that they all crammed into. though eventually they were able to get some gigs. nothing major at first, but clay came up with the idea to post music videos onto youtube and that led to more success, which ended in the band getting a record deal. 

just like he did with their first kiss, jude took the jump and proposed to clay. he was a little hesitant to say yes at first.  not because he didn’t love jude -  he was head over heels in love ,  but because of how his parent’s marriage ended. it took him a few days to talk it through but he did end up saying yes.  

the two were married for 5 years, moved into their own apartment, and even talked about adopting before things became rocky.  they started fighting fairly often and eventually being together felt like it wasn’t worth it, even if they still loved each other. clay and jude decided to separate but they haven’t technically signed the divorce papers yet. maybe there is a part of them that hopes one day they’ll find their way back to each other. 

after the break-up with jude, it was difficult for clay not to turn towards the bottle again. he decided to turn towards other distractions, that were probably just as damaging but didn’t involve old habits. he hooked up with many different people and spent most of his nights out until the early hours of the morning so that he could avoid coming home to an empty apartment. 

jude ended up also leaving the band to pursue another dream of his for awhile but is recently back in the band which makes things ... well complicated. 

connections.

band members  -  two of them are from his hometown / he considers his best friends 

hook ups  -  people that clay hooked up with after his bad break-up with jude   

rivals and lovers  -  a specific type of hook up, where these two have never gotten along but they have this attraction to one another that they can’t help giving into sometimes

coffee buddy -  clay doesn’t drink alcohol anymore, but he does thrive off of coffee so maybe they met at the coffee shop and it became a regular thing 

roommate -  now that clay has a vacancy in his apartment, he’s looking for someone to share it with, the only requirement is that they must like cats 

fans -  clay is in a pretty known band so people who enjoy his music 

friends -  he loves talking to people and it is easy for him to connect 

rivals -  maybe someone from another band or someone that just met him and didn’t like him 

neighbors - they could get together for movie nights or hate the fact that clay blasts his music at odd hours during the day 

flirtationship -  nothing serious has happened but clay loves to be flirty 

anything else that we can come up with!  these are just suggestions. hmu to plot!  

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

‘The Absent Father and Spider-Man’s Unfulfilled Potential’: Rebuttal Part 6: Tony Stark

Master Post

It’s time for another confession.

I actually began writing this essay series a long while back but took a hiatus for various reasons. Back then I was summarizing Fettinger’s own words and responding because I had no access to a digital edition of his essay.

Now I’ve got (a little) spare time on my hands and so can finally finish what I started. But since my time isn’t limitless I’m going to save myself time and energy by just use screengrabbing passages s of his essay from Google books.

Where Google books has blank pages I have improvised and taken photos of the pages myself. It’s not a neat or tidy solution I admit but it was the best I could do on such short notice.

Notice here how Fetinger acknowledges Peter had to struggle for financial support whilst Tony never had that problem. It’s almost like he’s pointing out a huge difference between them which makes his initial comparison to them back in parts 1-2 a massive false equivalency or something.

Again with this bullshit. Yes peter would benefit from an upgraded outfit but he never had access to the tech and resources that Tony had. He was never in a position to construct a nanotech suit.

Peter was 30 YEARS OLD during Civil War. Fettinger even did the math on that himself in one of his articles that’s been lost to time.

How the fuck is 30 a ‘young man’??????

Not to mention, the example Tony set is a false equivalency. Tony didn’t have any loved ones particularly vulnerable if people knew his secret identity. They would’ve been in slightly more jeopardy at worst. But Peter had school students, a young godson and dozens of civilian friends and acquaintances that didn’t have the same protection Tony could offer Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, etc.

Not to mention there was less than 18 years between Peter and Tony. Hardly a father/son dynamic is it. Big Brother/Little Brother maybe. But it never made sense in the comics Fettinger is referring to.

HORSESHIT!

Let’s put aside how Peter wouldn’t be as impressionable as Fettinger makes out because he was a 30 year old married man who’d shouldered an adult’s responsibility for half his life and matured fast as a result.

Fettinger frames the discussion disingenuously. He plays it as though Peter is actively opposed to authority or somehow resents it. On the contrary, Peter tried to join the police force in Untold Tales #1; a fact Fettinger himself referenced   in the George Stacy segment of his essay. He changed his mind specifically because  he’d have to reveal his identity.

Spider-Man is only subtextually  an anti-authority figure, and even then it’s never been consistent. Peter clearly holds a certain belief in law and order as he makes it his business to catch criminals and protect the public from threats.

He respects the police in general in spite of their disdain for him. Even that’s not wholly consistent because figures like Captain Stacy, Detective Jean DeWolff, her partner Stan Carter, Arthur Stacy (brother of George) and (in JMS’ run) Detective Lamont were more tan willing to work with the wall-crawler.

Peter hasn’t got a problem with authority nor does he have a craving for acceptance by them. If he did he had various options to obtain it. He sabotaged his own chances to join the Avengers in ASM Annual #3. He has used alternate identities that received a better public reception than his Spider-Man persona but actively chose to remain as Spider-Man instead.

He respects authority but he just values his independence too highly is all. Which is another reason why Fettinger’s point about Tony taking Peter AND Spider-Man under his wing doesn’t fly. Peter isn’t some kid looking for legitimacy. He was a respected teacher to children. He was a mature adult who’d cared for his family off his own back for years. He was a happily married man. He’d come of age and self-actualized as an adult long before Tony showed up to be his benefactor.

This would’ve maybe added up for a 25 (at most) year old single Peter not too long out of college. But as things stood Fettinger’s assessments are totally hollow.

Tony didn’t even give Peter legitimate employment considering Peter was still a teacher  at the time. His employment under Stark was for appearances sake. Peter was also too old to care anymore about his stature or legitimacy. Maybe it might’ve irked him but he wasn’t going to sell out for the sake of it.

Indeed ASM #532 depicts Peter unsupportive of unmasking until Aunt May  convinces him. Even then he changes his mind the next day before changing it back.

But this change, along with the over all decision, is simply ridiculous.

Peter teaches children. He has a pre-teen godson. His friends are predominantly normal civilians, many of whom are middle aged at least. His aunt was in her 70s and his wife has been targeted by various super villains throughout the years. His first love was murdered because a single lunatic learned who he was.

Simply put Peter would never agree  to unmask. Not for Tony or anyone. It’s simply not the responsible  thing to do. In a contest between his stature/legitimacy and loyalty to his (very  new) benefactor Tony vs. the lives of his loved ones (including his mother and wife, both of whom he’s believed dead before) the latter will always win.

Indeed Peter alludes to this mentality in ASM #530.

The idea that 30 year old married man Peter would compromise on that because a man not old enough to be his father (who had never had as mature a relationship with a woman as he had) took him under his wing is…well…it’s a broken interpretation of the character.

That’s not a hero. That’s not responsible. That’s not even flawed. That’s a man without his own mind and agency who can be swayed and sell out with ease.

And baby, that ain’t   Spider-Man!

According to Fettinger this  is Spider-Man.

Oh and you know Peter himself!

This is yet another reason why Peter siding with Tony was horseshit. He’d be inclined to support Cap much more than the guy who took him under his wing for a few months.

It’s almost like Peter holds higher values that trump any affection or ‘gifts’ Daddy Stark bestowed upon him.

It’s almost like there is less than 18 years between them or something?????????

Fettinger can’t seem to make up his mind.

Is Peter going to alter his value system to comply with Tony’s desire for him to unmask? Or is Tony’s value system incompatible with Peter’s?

Because if it is the latter then why would he endanger his loved ones by unmasking!

Master Post

[realm-sweet-realm]

Have a bunch of childhood and family headcanons.

Henry: Had a few friends but overall was pretty invisible to most of his peers. Was the oldest of four children and had to do a lot of the work to take care of them in his teens, since both of his parents were busy with work. This is where his sense of responsibility, work ethic, and fatherliness comes from. Drawing has pretty much always been his coping mechanism and he worked hard in high school to get into an art school. He ended up having his choice of many, and ended up choosing one in New York because a) he’d always wanted to go, and b) he wanted to be a few states away from his family. College was to be his time to live for himself and relax a little after working so hard throughout his teens. He doesn’t resent his parents and knows that they were doing the best they could.

Joey: showed somewhat sociopathic tendencies from a young age, for which his parents tried to intervene. He became better for a period around 9-15, in which he was actually a pretty great kid- he was popular in school and had a lot of friends, was good to his 8-years younger sister, and was incredibly bright, bubbly and creative. Had a lot of small “business ventures” around this age and honed his story-telling skills. He still got into trouble a lot, had anger issues, and was a bit of a bully, though. He became a delinquent and more of a bully in his late teens and resisted any attempts his parents made to set him straight. A dark moment in his life came when his mother gave up on trying to change him and seemed to be forcing herself to give him any kind of love. He’d experienced the same behaviour from her as a young child, but now he was capable of understanding it as rejection. He moved away as soon as he’d graduated and cut contact with his parents for a few years. He was, however, close to his sister his entire life, and she eventually got him to forgive them, at least a little.

Sammy: the second of three children in a middle class home. He was extremely shy in his early childhood to the point where he’d go nonverbal in uncomfortable situations. His parents and his music teacher eventually brought him out of that. He received more attention than his two brothers, at first for his shyness and later for his excellent musical abilities. That led to some entitlement issues that had to be trained out of him in his early teens. He’s still kind of entitled and prefers not to deal with people to this day. He’s still close with his older brother, who also lives in New York, and keeps in contact with his parents and younger brother. Knew Jack since childhood.

Jack: was a very quiet, unnoticeable child, always with his nose in a book. Was bullied a ton in high school and didn’t really have a lot of friends. His little sister was special needs, so he didn’t get a ton of attention at home, either. He used fantasizing, reading, and writing as coping mechanisms and pretty much always had his head in a daydream. Spent a ton of time with Sammy. As a result of his childhood, he grew up to have serious self-esteem issues and a non-confrontational personality. (Sammy and his husband helped a lot. He’s in a much better place now and is a pretty cheerful guy.) Jack’s parents are apologetic that they didn’t do more for him, and he’s forgiven them. He’s come out to his mother, who said she’d do her best to accept it, but he probably shouldn’t tell his father.

Susie: had an older sister and two little brothers. Her family life was pretty great and she was popular in school. Was in church choir and was generally raised to be pretty religious. Her mother and big sister in particular were really supportive of her and she still calls them frequently for advice and whatnot. She grew up in the south and wishes she could see her family more frequently.

Allison: here.

Norman: ha ha, this is gonna get wild. He grew up in a cult. His father was imprisoned when Norman was twelve and was likely murdered because he’d been sneaking around and finding out things he wasn’t supposed to know. His mother was deeply depressed after that, which wasn’t fun for Norman. Aside from that, Norman’s odd tendencies didn’t make him very popular, though he wasn’t bullied so much as feared. He got into some trouble with the authorities for sneaking around, but he quickly learned not to get caught. All in all, he had a very boring and isolated adolescence. His upbringing is part of the reason he’s so paranoid (he definitely has something neurologically wrong with him, too, though) and emotionally resilient. He resents his mother but has nothing but respect for his father.

Thomas: had two big brothers and an involved father who helped make him into the man he is today. They taught him how to hunt and a bunch of mechanical stuff. All in all, good childhood and got along well with most of his peers. Still loves his family.

Grant: only child of an upper-middle class family, pretty normal childhood. Was bullied some for being cowardly and physically small, but he had friends and a supportive family, grades came easily to him, and overall things were good back then. Nowadays, he still loves and is still close to his parents and relatives but he does have periods of bitterness against them, for reasons that have nothing to do with his childhood (*cough* pressuring him to marry and setting him up with the woman he would go on to have a messy divorce with, and who would poison his kids against him.) Not wanting to embarrass or worry his family is a large part of where his fear of failure and admitting his issues comes from.

Shawn: part of a big, tight-knit family back in Ireland. Was always getting into trouble as a child, and when he wasn’t getting into trouble, he was either trying to wriggle out of it, or was getting someone else into it. His mother was a lot like Lacie- very tough and laissez-faire, but still very loving. They frequently had financial trouble, and so Shawn became pretty frugal and protective of his belongings as an adult. Shawn misses his family a lot and wishes he could visit more often.

Lacie: youngest of three in a lower-class home, and her parents sucked. Her parents sucked a lot. Lots of arguing in the home, lots of little Lacie getting neglected because her parents were drinking or taking off for the night or whatever. As a result, Lacie spent a lot of time at the homes of other kids. One of these homes was where she began to hone her skills as a mechanic. She was a tomboy and had mostly male friends pretty much her entire life. At 14, she ran away from home and moved in with her 22-year-old sister, who acted as a more loving mother to Lacie than she’d ever known. As of now, she doesn’t contact her parents. She sends money back to her older siblings since she has a better job than them.

Bertrum: groomed by his father to one day take over the Colossal Wonders empire, a role that Bertrum took quite well to. Had a privileged upbringing- private schools and all that. Got on very well with his peers and less well with his two sisters. The Piedmont family (of which he is now the head of) is quite tight-knit.

[blackkudos]

Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou (born Marguerite Annie Johnson; April 4, 1928 – May 28, 2014) was an American poet, singer, memoirist, and civil rights activist. She published seven autobiographies, three books of essays, several books of poetry, and is credited with a list of plays, movies, and television shows spanning over 50 years. She received dozens of awards and more than 50 honorary degrees. Angelou is best known for her series of seven autobiographies, which focus on her childhood and early adult experiences. The first, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969), tells of her life up to the age of 17 and brought her international recognition and acclaim.

She became a poet and writer after a series of occupations as a young adult, including fry cook, sex worker, nightclub dancer and performer, cast member of the opera Porgy and Bess, coordinator for the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, and journalist in Egypt and Ghana during the decolonization of Africa. She was an actress, writer, director, and producer of plays, movies, and public television programs. In 1982, she was named the first Reynolds Professor of American Studies at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. She was active in the Civil Rights Movement and worked with Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. Beginning in the 1990s, she made around 80 appearances a year on the lecture circuit, something she continued into her eighties. In 1993, Angelou recited her poem "On the Pulse of Morning" (1993) at the first inauguration of Bill Clinton, making her the first poet to make an inaugural recitation since Robert Frost at the inauguration of John F. Kennedy in 1961.

With the publication of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Angelou publicly discussed aspects of her personal life. She was respected as a spokesperson for black people and women, and her works have been considered a defense of black culture. Her works are widely used in schools and universities worldwide, although attempts have been made to ban her books from some U.S. libraries. Angelou's most celebrated works have been labeled as autobiographical fiction, but many critics consider them to be autobiographies. She made a deliberate attempt to challenge the common structure of the autobiography by critiquing, changing and expanding the genre. Her books center on themes such as racism, identity, family and travel.

Early life

Marguerite Annie Johnson was born in St. Louis, Missouri, on April 4, 1928, the second child of Bailey Johnson, a doorman and navy dietitian, and Vivian (Baxter) Johnson, a nurse and card dealer. Angelou's older brother, Bailey Jr., nicknamed Marguerite "Maya", derived from "My" or "Mya Sister". When Angelou was three and her brother four, their parents' "calamitous marriage" ended, and their father sent them to Stamps, Arkansas, alone by train, to live with their paternal grandmother, Annie Henderson. In "an astonishing exception" to the harsh economics of African Americans of the time, Angelou's grandmother prospered financially during the Great Depression and World War II because the general store she owned sold needed basic commodities and because "she made wise and honest investments".

Four years later, the children's father "came to Stamps without warning" and returned them to their mother's care in St. Louis. At the age of eight, while living with her mother, Angelou was sexually abused and raped by her mother's boyfriend, a man named Freeman. She told her brother, who told the rest of their family. Freeman was found guilty but was jailed for only one day. Four days after his release, he was murdered, probably by Angelou's uncles. Angelou became mute for almost five years, believing, as she stated, "I thought, my voice killed him; I killed that man, because I told his name. And then I thought I would never speak again, because my voice would kill anyone." According to Marcia Ann Gillespie and her colleagues, who wrote a biography about Angelou, it was during this period of silence when Angelou developed her extraordinary memory, her love for books and literature, and her ability to listen and observe the world around her.

Shortly after Freeman's murder, Angelou and her brother were sent back to their grandmother. Angelou credits a teacher and friend of her family, Mrs. Bertha Flowers, with helping her speak again. Flowers introduced her to authors such as Charles Dickens, William Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, Douglas Johnson, and James Weldon Johnson, authors who would affect her life and career, as well as black female artists like Frances Harper, Anne Spencer, and Jessie Fauset.

When Angelou was 14, she and her brother moved in with their mother once again, who had since moved to Oakland, California. During World War II, Angelou attended the California Labor School. At the age of 16, she became the first black female cable car conductor in San Francisco. She wanted the job badly, admiring the uniforms of the operators—so much so that her mother referred to it as her "dream job." Her mother encouraged her to pursue the position, but warned her that she would need to arrive early and work harder than others. In 2014, Angelou received a lifetime achievement award from the Conference of Minority Transportation Officials as part of a session billed “Women Who Move the Nation.”

Three weeks after completing school, at the age of 17, she gave birth to her son, Clyde (who later changed his name to Guy Johnson).

Career

Adulthood and early career: 1951–61

In 1951, Angelou married Tosh Angelos, a Greek electrician, former sailor, and aspiring musician, despite the condemnation of interracial relationships at the time and the disapproval of her mother. She took modern dance classes during this time, and met dancers and choreographers Alvin Ailey and Ruth Beckford. Ailey and Angelou formed a dance team, calling themselves "Al and Rita", and performed modern dance at fraternal black organizations throughout San Francisco but never became successful. Angelou, her new husband, and her son moved to New York City so she could study African dance with Trinidadian dancer Pearl Primus, but they returned to San Francisco a year later.

After Angelou's marriage ended in 1954, she danced professionally in clubs around San Francisco, including the nightclub the Purple Onion, where she sang and danced to calypso music. Up to that point she went by the name of "Marguerite Johnson", or "Rita", but at the strong suggestion of her managers and supporters at the Purple Onion, she changed her professional name to "Maya Angelou" (her nickname and former married surname). It was a "distinctive name" that set her apart and captured the feel of her calypso dance performances. During 1954 and 1955, Angelou toured Europe with a production of the opera Porgy and Bess. She began her practice of learning the language of every country she visited, and in a few years she gained proficiency in several languages. In 1957, riding on the popularity of calypso, Angelou recorded her first album, Miss Calypso, which was reissued as a CD in 1996. She appeared in an off-Broadway review that inspired the 1957 film Calypso Heat Wave, in which Angelou sang and performed her own compositions.

Angelou met novelist John Oliver Killens in 1959 and, at his urging, moved to New York to concentrate on her writing career. She joined the Harlem Writers Guild, where she met several major African-American authors, including John Henrik Clarke, Rosa Guy, Paule Marshall, and Julian Mayfield, and was published for the first time. In 1960, after meeting civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. and hearing him speak, she and Killens organized "the legendary" Cabaret for Freedom to benefit the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC), and she was named SCLC's Northern Coordinator. According to scholar Lyman B. Hagen, her contributions to civil rights as a fundraiser and SCLC organizer were successful and "eminently effective". Angelou also began her pro-Castro and anti-apartheid activism during this time.

Africa to Caged Bird: 1961–69

In 1961, Angelou performed in Jean Genet's play The Blacks, along with Abbey Lincoln, Roscoe Lee Brown, James Earl Jones, Louis Gossett, Godfrey Cambridge, and Cicely Tyson. Also in 1961, she met South African freedom fighter Vusumzi Make; they never officially married. She and her son Guy moved with Make to Cairo, where Angelou worked as an associate editor at the weekly English-language newspaper The Arab Observer. In 1962, her relationship with Make ended, and she and Guy moved to Accra, Ghana so he could attend college, but he was seriously injured in an automobile accident. Angelou remained in Accra for his recovery and ended up staying there until 1965. She became an administrator at the University of Ghana, and was active in the African-American expatriate community. She was a feature editor for The African Review, a freelance writer for the Ghanaian Times, wrote and broadcast for Radio Ghana, and worked and performed for Ghana's National Theatre. She performed in a revival of The Blacks in Geneva and Berlin.

In Accra, she became close friends with Malcolm X during his visit in the early 1960s. Angelou returned to the U.S. in 1965 to help him build a new civil rights organization, the Organization of Afro-American Unity; he was assassinated shortly afterward. Devastated and adrift, she joined her brother in Hawaii, where she resumed her singing career. She moved back to Los Angeles to focus on her writing career. Working as a market researcher in Watts, Angelou witnessed the riots in the summer of 1965. She acted in and wrote plays, and returned to New York in 1967. She met her lifelong friend Rosa Guy and renewed her friendship with James Baldwin, whom she had met in Paris in the 1950s and called "my brother", during this time. Her friend Jerry Purcell provided Angelou with a stipend to support her writing.

In 1968, Martin Luther King Jr. asked Angelou to organize a march. She agreed, but "postpones again", and in what Gillespie calls "a macabre twist of fate", he was assassinated on her 40th birthday (April 4). Devastated again, she was encouraged out of her depression by her friend James Baldwin. As Gillespie states, "If 1968 was a year of great pain, loss, and sadness, it was also the year when America first witnessed the breadth and depth of Maya Angelou's spirit and creative genius". Despite having almost no experience, she wrote, produced, and narrated Blacks, Blues, Black!, a ten-part series of documentaries about the connection between blues music and black Americans' African heritage, and what Angelou called the "Africanisms still current in the U.S." for National Educational Television, the precursor of PBS. Also in 1968, inspired at a dinner party she attended with Baldwin, cartoonist Jules Feiffer, and his wife Judy, and challenged by Random House editor Robert Loomis, she wrote her first autobiography, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, published in 1969. This brought her international recognition and acclaim.

Later career

Released in 1972, Angelou's Georgia, Georgia, produced by a Swedish film company and filmed in Sweden, was the first screenplay written by a black woman. She also wrote the film's soundtrack, despite having very little additional input in the filming of the movie. Angelou married Paul du Feu, a Welsh carpenter and ex-husband of writer Germaine Greer, in San Francisco in 1973. Over the next ten years, as Gillespie has stated, "She [Angelou] had accomplished more than many artists hope to achieve in a lifetime." Angelou worked as a composer, writing for singer Roberta Flack, and composing movie scores. She wrote articles, short stories, TV scripts, documentaries, autobiographies, and poetry. She produced plays and was named visiting professor at several colleges and universities. She was "a reluctant actor", and was nominated for a Tony Award in 1973 for her role in Look Away. As a theater director, in 1988 she undertook a revival of Errol John's play Moon on a Rainbow Shawl at the Almeida Theatre in London.

In 1977, Angelou appeared in a supporting role in the television mini-series Roots. She was given a multitude of awards during this period, including over thirty honorary degrees from colleges and universities from all over the world. In the late 1970s, Angelou met Oprah Winfrey when Winfrey was a TV anchor in Baltimore, Maryland; Angelou would later become Winfrey's close friend and mentor. In 1981, Angelou and du Feu divorced.

She returned to the southern United States in 1981 because she felt she had to come to terms with her past there and, despite having no bachelor's degree, accepted the lifetime Reynolds Professorship of American Studies at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where she was one of a few full-time African-American professors. From that point on, she considered herself "a teacher who writes". Angelou taught a variety of subjects that reflected her interests, including philosophy, ethics, theology, science, theater, and writing. The Winston-Salem Journal reported that even though she made many friends on campus, "she never quite lived down all of the criticism from people who thought she was more of a celebrity than an intellect...[and] an overpaid figurehead". The last course she taught at Wake Forest was in 2011, but she was planning to teach another course in late 2014. Her final speaking engagement at the university was in late 2013. Beginning in the 1990s, Angelou actively participated in the lecture circuit in a customized tour bus, something she continued into her eighties.

In 1993, Angelou recited her poem "On the Pulse of Morning" at the presidential inauguration of Bill Clinton, becoming the first poet to make an inaugural recitation since Robert Frost at John F. Kennedy's inauguration in 1961. Her recitation resulted in more fame and recognition for her previous works, and broadened her appeal "across racial, economic, and educational boundaries". The recording of the poem won a Grammy Award. In June 1995, she delivered what Richard Long called her "second 'public' poem", titled "A Brave and Startling Truth", which commemorated the 50th anniversary of the United Nations.

Angelou achieved her goal of directing a feature film in 1996, Down in the Delta, which featured actors such as Alfre Woodard and Wesley Snipes. Also in 1996, she collaborated with R&B artists Ashford & Simpson on seven of the eleven tracks of their album Been Found. The album was responsible for three of Angelou's only Billboard chart appearances. In 2000, she created a successful collection of products for Hallmark, including greeting cards and decorative household items. She responded to critics who charged her with being too commercial by stating that "the enterprise was perfectly in keeping with her role as 'the people's poet'". More than thirty years after Angelou began writing her life story, she completed her sixth autobiography A Song Flung Up to Heaven, in 2002.

Angelou campaigned for the Democratic Party in the 2008 presidential primaries, giving her public support to Hillary Clinton. In the run-up to the January Democratic primary in South Carolina, the Clinton campaign ran ads featuring Angelou's endorsement. The ads were part of the campaign's efforts to rally support in the Black community; but Barack Obama won the South Carolina primary, finishing 29 points ahead of Clinton and taking 80% of the Black vote. When Clinton's campaign ended, Angelou put her support behind Obama, who went on to win the presidential election and became the first African-American president of the United States. After Obama's inauguration, she stated, "We are growing up beyond the idiocies of racism and sexism."

In late 2010, Angelou donated her personal papers and career memorabilia to the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture in Harlem. They consisted of more than 340 boxes of documents that featured her handwritten notes on yellow legal pads for I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, a 1982 telegram from Coretta Scott King, fan mail, and personal and professional correspondence from colleagues such as her editor Robert Loomis. In 2011, Angelou served as a consultant for the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial in Washington, D.C. She spoke out in opposition to a paraphrase of a quotation by King that appeared on the memorial, saying, "The quote makes Dr. Martin Luther King look like an arrogant twit", and demanded that it be changed. Eventually, the paraphrase was removed.

In 2013, at the age of 85, Angelou published the seventh volume of autobiography in her series, titled Mom & Me & Mom, which focuses on her relationship with her mother.

Personal life

Evidence suggests that Angelou was partially descended from the Mende people of West Africa. In 2008, a DNA test revealed that among all of her African ancestors, 45 percent were from the Congo-Angola region and 55 percent were from West Africa. A 2008 PBS documentary found that Angelou's maternal great-grandmother Mary Lee, who had been emancipated after the Civil War, became pregnant by her white former owner, John Savin. Savin forced Lee to sign a false statement accusing another man of being the father of her child. After Savin was indicted for forcing Lee to commit perjury, and despite the discovery that Savin was the father, a jury found him not guilty. Lee was sent to the Clinton County poorhouse in Missouri with her daughter, Marguerite Baxter, who became Angelou's grandmother. Angelou described Lee as "that poor little Black girl, physically and mentally bruised".

The details of Angelou's life described in her seven autobiographies and in numerous interviews, speeches, and articles tended to be inconsistent. Critic Mary Jane Lupton has explained that when Angelou spoke about her life, she did so eloquently but informally and "with no time chart in front of her". For example, she was married at least twice, but never clarified the number of times she had been married, "for fear of sounding frivolous"; according to her autobiographies and to Gillespie, she married Tosh Angelos in 1951 and Paul du Feu in 1974, and began her relationship with Vusumzi Make in 1961, but never formally married him. Angelou held many jobs, including some in the sex trade, working as a prostitute and madame for lesbians, as she described in her second autobiography, Gather Together in My Name. In a 1995 interview, Angelou said,

"I wrote about my experiences because I thought too many people tell young folks, 'I never did anything wrong. Who, Moi? – never I. I have no skeletons in my closet. In fact, I have no closet.' They lie like that and then young people find themselves in situations and they think, 'Damn I must be a pretty bad guy. My mom or dad never did anything wrong.' They can't forgive themselves and go on with their lives."

Angelou had one son, Guy, whose birth she described in her first autobiography; one grandson, two great-grandchildren, and, according to Gillespie, a large group of friends and extended family. Angelou's mother Vivian Baxter died in 1991 and her brother Bailey Johnson Jr., died in 2000 after a series of strokes; both were important figures in her life and her books. In 1981, the mother of her grandson disappeared with him; finding him took four years.

In 2009, the gossip website TMZ erroneously reported that Angelou had been hospitalized in Los Angeles when she was alive and well in St. Louis, which resulted in rumors of her death and, according to Angelou, concern among her friends and family worldwide. In 2013, Angelou told her friend Oprah Winfrey that she had studied courses offered by the Unity Church, which were spiritually significant to her. She did not earn a university degree, but according to Gillespie it was Angelou's preference to be called "Dr. Angelou" by people outside of her family and close friends. She owned two homes in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and a "lordly brownstone" in Harlem, which was purchased in 2004 and was full of her "growing library" of books she collected throughout her life, artwork collected over the span of many decades, and well-stocked kitchens. Guardian writer Gary Younge reported that in Angelou's Harlem home were several African wall hangings and her collection of paintings, including ones of several jazz trumpeters, a watercolor of Rosa Parks, and a Faith Ringgold work titled "Maya's Quilt Of Life".

According to Gillespie, she hosted several celebrations per year at her main residence in Winston-Salem; "her skill in the kitchen is the stuff of legend—from haute cuisine to down-home comfort food". The Winston-Salem Journal stated: "Securing an invitation to one of Angelou's Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas tree decorating parties or birthday parties was among the most coveted invitations in town." The New York Times, describing Angelou's residence history in New York City, stated that she regularly hosted elaborate New Year's Day parties. She combined her cooking and writing skills in her 2004 book Hallelujah! The Welcome Table, which featured 73 recipes, many of which she learned from her grandmother and mother, accompanied by 28 vignettes. She followed up in 2010 with her second cookbook, Great Food, All Day Long: Cook Splendidly, Eat Smart, which focused on weight loss and portion control.

Beginning with I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Angelou used the same "writing ritual" for many years. She would wake early in the morning and check into a hotel room, where the staff was instructed to remove any pictures from the walls. She would write on legal pads while lying on the bed, with only a bottle of sherry, a deck of cards to play solitaire, Roget's Thesaurus, and the Bible, and would leave by the early afternoon. She would average 10–12 pages of written material a day, which she edited down to three or four pages in the evening. She went through this process to "enchant" herself, and as she said in a 1989 interview with the British Broadcasting Corporation, "relive the agony, the anguish, the Sturm und Drang". She placed herself back in the time she wrote about, even traumatic experiences such as her rape in Caged Bird, in order to "tell the human truth" about her life. Angelou stated that she played cards in order to get to that place of enchantment and in order to access her memories more effectively. She said, "It may take an hour to get into it, but once I'm in it—ha! It's so delicious!" She did not find the process cathartic; rather, she found relief in "telling the truth".

Death

Angelou died on the morning of May 28, 2014 at the age 86. She was found by her nurse. Although Angelou had reportedly been in poor health and had canceled recent scheduled appearances, she was working on another book, an autobiography about her experiences with national and world leaders. During her memorial service at Wake Forest University, her son Guy Johnson stated that despite being in constant pain due to her dancing career and respiratory failure, she wrote four books during the last ten years of her life. He said, "She left this mortal plane with no loss of acuity and no loss in comprehension."

Tributes to Angelou and condolences were paid by artists, entertainers, and world leaders, including Obama, whose sister was named after Angelou, and Bill Clinton. Harold Augenbraum, from the National Book Foundation, said that Angelou's "legacy is one that all writers and readers across the world can admire and aspire to." The week after Angelou's death, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings rose to number 1 on Amazon.com's bestseller list.

On May 29, 2014, Mount Zion Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, of which Angelou was a member for 30 years, held a public memorial service to honor her. On June 7, a private memorial service was held at Wait Chapel on the campus of Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem. The memorial was shown live on local stations in the Winston-Salem/Triad area and streamed live on the university web site with speeches from her son, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, and Bill Clinton. On June 15, a memorial was held at Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco, where Angelou was a member for many years. Rev. Cecil Williams, Mayor Ed Lee, and former mayor Willie Brown spoke.

Works

Angelou wrote a total of seven autobiographies. According to scholar Mary Jane Lupton, Angelou's third autobiography Singin' and Swingin' and Gettin' Merry Like Christmas marked the first time a well-known African-American autobiographer had written a third volume about her life. Her books "stretch over time and place", from Arkansas to Africa and back to the U.S., and take place from the beginnings of World War II to the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. In her fifth autobiography “All God’s Children Need Travelling Shoes” (1986) Angelou tells about her return to Ghana searching for the past of her tribe. She published her seventh autobiography Mom & Me & Mom in 2013, at the age of 85. Critics have tended to judge Angelou's subsequent autobiographies "in light of the first", with Caged Bird receiving the highest praise. Angelou wrote five collections of essays, which writer Hilton Als called her "wisdom books" and "homilies strung together with autobiographical texts". Angelou used the same editor throughout her writing career, Robert Loomis, an executive editor at Random House; he retired in 2011 and has been called "one of publishing's hall of fame editors." Angelou said regarding Loomis: "We have a relationship that's kind of famous among publishers."

Angelou's long and extensive career also included poetry, plays, screenplays for television and film, directing, acting, and public speaking. She was a prolific writer of poetry; her volume Just Give Me a Cool Drink of Water 'fore I Diiie (1971) was nominated for the Pulitzer Prize, and she was chosen by US President Bill Clinton to recite her poem "On the Pulse of Morning" during his inauguration in 1993.

Angelou's successful acting career included roles in numerous plays, films, and television programs, including her appearance in the television mini-series Roots in 1977. Her screenplay, Georgia, Georgia (1972), was the first original script by a black woman to be produced, and she was the first African-American woman to direct a major motion picture, Down in the Delta, in 1998.

Chronology of autobiographies

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969): Up to 1944 (age 17)

Gather Together in My Name (1974): 1944–48

Singin' and Swingin' and Gettin' Merry Like Christmas (1976): 1949–55

The Heart of a Woman (1981): 1957–62

All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes (1986): 1962–65

A Song Flung Up to Heaven (2002): 1965–68

Mom & Me & Mom (2013): overview