#the beginnings of the FULL PIECES bc im SO Normal about these things
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Sometimes you just have to draw your sylvari being sooooo flirty its insane okay trust me
#gw2#guild wars 2#my art#batsy art#technically#rvb gw2 au#gw2 locus ortez#gw2 delano donut#im still on the fence on if this gets the proper rvb tags but i will gladly throw it to the gw2 side of things bc yes#self indulgent locnut but make them plants#technically also a redraw of one of my older locnut things from like august?? iirc#they were canon in the og but ive been rotating them at mach 10 in the gw2 au so plant time be upon thee#giving gw2 the same love rvb has been getting lately#the beginnings of the FULL PIECES bc im SO Normal about these things#at this point these two are ocs now in the gw2 setting i can admit that
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Do yiu have any tips on like how to attract more attention 😭 it's been a good while and it's a huge struggle of keeping motivation and not so amazing art so it's hard to sure my characters and their stories bc one thing a can say in confidence is I am a good writer I'd like to think, people tell me I have and oddly good but cryptic way of writing that keeps people enthralled, but my biggest struggle is getting them interested in the first place 😭
hi there!! i admittedly dont really know much about the world of writing and how to gain more attention there, but i can try to give tips and see what applies & sticks!
start off short & simple and build it up over time
if you start off with something big and complicated there will be more pressure to keep things big and complicated. theres nothing wrong with short and simple and mixing it up here & there (ie with art: if you only post full pieces with extravagant rendering people will keep expecting it. mix it up a bit. i try posting a variety of sketches and doodles and more detailed things— sometimes some things do better than others and thats ok!
it is 100% okay to repost/reblog your own work
if you ever see me spamming my blog with the same posts, its so i have it back on peoples feeds and on my main profile and its easier for people to find. its also likely that some ppl missed the post, and reblogging/reposting gives them the opportunity to see it!!
something something “its cringe and egotistical” WRONG!!!!!!!!!! its completely normal for creators to repost their content and it may help a lot!!
short & sweet descriptons
when you post, avoid giant paragraphs of text, especially if you’re including art in the post. people will be distracted and will see a giant post and just scroll past it
speaking of descriptions, try using trendy words and notable names
its kinda like hashtagging. if you look at my posts you’ll typically see how i will drop people’s full names + include the word “art” or “doodle” … this is because it will more likely show up on someones feed if said person looks up the same words.
ie: googling “muichiro tokito art” -> insert my post popping up because it has “muichiro tokito art” written out in the description
i admittedly have trouble providing tips as someone who doesnt rlly understand how i got noticed to begin with haha. something something imposter syndrome or whatever they call it these days… so im not really sure if anything above helps, but this is stuff i typically try to keep in mind when i post with the intent of trying to get people to see it
more importantly—
i know this is cheesy and this is easier said than done (i have this habit too a lot of the time) but numbers does not equal ur worth or talent. i know it isnt motivating and it can be so heartbreaking): but even if ur stuff doesnt get a lot of notoriety please know it doesnt define your value . this may sound like gibberish as it is 5 am as im posting this but truly… never give up on ur work!!! i promise u someone out there loves it
im more well known for my deaging & fluff content and to this day im rlly shocked it blew up the way it did. i really made it for myself. i came up with a whole alias and didnt plan on posting it anywhere bc i was so scared ppl would hate it and harass me or nobody would gaf. but eventually i was just like Man. if this thing helps me then maybe it can help someone out there too. and it helped provide ppl some joy & wonder and whimsy & made them feel seen and truly thats all i could ever want…
its difficult and its hard but i promise u… be patient and kind to yourself. it can definitely be hard sharing things around and getting that exposure you need but there are ways for sure. some journeys are faster than others and thats ok!
again sorry if this is all gibberish its super late ): but i hope this could help in some way shape or form
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god help me what a rehearsal that was (3hr theater dress rehearsal edition)
hung out with viola friend before while we drank hot chocolates and a little ladybug landed on me right before we went inside. i put them down on a bench but as we were unpacking inside it turned out that they'd followed us inside so i went and took them out again
started rehearsal off strong with tita conductor making her appearance in the longest most Shaped coat.
apparently we are going to get a DRONE VIDEO taken of us in our normal rehearsal room??? help me????? at least i won't have to collect music on sunday afternoon
the dvořák sounded ALARMINGLY BETTER in the theater than in the rehearsal room like huh?? whuh huh??? i thought the theater was supposed to be the acoustically inferior room help me 😭
i cued the seconds into the triplet at bar 30 and tita conductor looked me dead in the eye with a BIG, full-face smile as she conducted and i vaguely remembered the one tumblr post that was like 'a girl's frizzy hair is actually her halo', which was a fun thought to have at bar 30 of the third movement of dvořák's symphony no. 7
we get to the brahms and tita conductor says 'we need to not get too excited with this one' and then had us run through the most pussy-popping, emotional, this-is-the-reason-why-it's-almost-number-1-on-my-spotify-wrapped second theme. like girl how do you expect me to be normal about this
there were apparently conductor-provided chocolates in the green room but i did not see or partake in any of them because i was too occupied with the egg salad sandwich that had almost made me late to meet with viola friend
another piece that sounded startlingly better in the theater than in the rehearsal room: the cello concerto. like that was GOOD
at some point (idr where) we were playing and tita conductor let out an actual groan; she explained after cutting us off 'violins, i let out that cry of pain because we did not end that phrase'
we pressed on and to be completely honest lads, by hour three i was really tiring out and making really stupid mistakes so i had to dial back. i was probably playing at like 60% or 70% by the time we got to the haydn but we still ran through the whole thing like tita conductor. please. im expired
we returned to the beginning and tita conductor leaned over my stand mid-conducting and said something about a C-sharp and i was so startled that i promptly lost my spot, stopped playing for a second, and looked up at her like 🥺. much to viola friend's mirth
ate honorsprofessor and the ethnomusicology grad student in my section both complimented my leading 🥹 like it means a lot to me bc i may not be the most skilled or best violinist but if i'm a good leader then it's okay. and i feel like my work here has helped me become stronger and stronger as a violinist in ways i couldn't have if i had retracted my audition application last minute like i thought i would in july 2022
so yeah. onward to the weekend i guess
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💭📚for the fic writer ask game?
riaaa ty for the ask!!
💭 What inspires you and your writing?
honestly anything and everything does! i've pulled inspiration from just about everything you can think of - other shows/movies/books, posts i see, stories people tell me, something i hear someone say, things that have happened to me personally, poetry i read, songs i listen to, random objects i see out in the wild, things i'm feeling.
all i need is something that sends a spark into my brain and then i'm off.
📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?
ooh, okay i looove reccing fics and writers so this is a great one. however, i feel like most of the writers that i would normally rec are our friends or writers i know you've already heard of lol, sooooo i will give a couple of fics this time instead!
first up:
someone else's favorite song by @fastcardotmp3
i am currently about halfway through this one and it is absolutely gorgeous. a beautiful exploration of grief and friendship and love and what that all means when it gets tangled up and the edges start to blur. literally anything by dot is a masterpiece and this one is no exception to that!!
heed the ominous warning of talking heads by audacity_of_bluejays
this one was SO good omg. i know you're picky about your time travel lol so before you see that tag and go hm not gonna chance it, it's important that you know that it's not really time travel per se? it's more like steve gets transported to an alternate universe that exists because he made one decision instead of another at a previous point in time to show him how his life would be if he actually does that. and he has to like figure out how to get back to his own universe so he can make sure this one doesn't happen for him. it's a really good one and the platonic stobin in this one is also sososooo good, they are ride or die in any universe in any circumstance and that's so nice to see here.
your cosmic call sign by @nancywheeeler
okay i know i recced this one on the server already after i finished reading it but im reccing it again bc holy fuck it's so good and i love it so much. the vibes in this one are off the charts. it's got sci-fi, it's got bowie, it's got radio dj eddie, it's got a homemade documentary, it's got aliens, it's got everything. oh and the format of the fic is SO cool, like it's got radio show excerpts and newspaper article pieces and things like that interspersed through the actual story that add SO much and it's just so awesome and so creative. also the fact that super 8 (aka my favorite movie) is mentioned in the beginning authors note is just. an automatic win for this fic bc that movie is my favorite and it is so underrated and the fact that it was an inspiration for this fic is everything to me sdkfs.
hours and hours by @steddiesupportgroup
i read this one a while ago but it has been on my mind sooo much the past few days lol. it's a pwp lmfao, bc what is friendship if not reccing pwp's to each other right? but yeah it's got a lot going on but never in a way that makes it feel overwhelming as a reader, and it all melds together very well. it's heady, it's languid yet purposeful, it's passionate, it's fun, it's full of care. a very very good read!!
noise by @viagoh
i'm sure nico is probably tired of seeing my name pop up in their notifications but i cannot not gush about all of their stuff. their art is everything to me but this fic!! this fic is sooo good and sooo beautifully written!! a glimpse at steve and eddie's relationship and a brief exploration of steve's parents and what they meant to him. a trip down memory lane but in a way that's sort of bittersweet. tw for some memory loss but it's more of an allusion to it, like it's not quiiiiite happening yet but it's something that will happen later down the line. but yeah, the characterization in this one is just sooo spot on and i love the way that steve and eddie's dynamic was written here, it's so good.
fanfic writer ask game
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CRYING, MOON. SWEET MOONIE YOU'RE AMAZING. HOLY SHIT. i'm just gonna... keep thinking abt this one for a while bc. damn. i feel it... feel it so much..... so relatable it hurts i'm. god. oh god. the way leon was just. so willing to love reader despite everything... i am not normal i wiLL NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS.
“i will hate you,” you bite your lip, nervous. he’s winning, “i will do terrible things to you.” “i will love you just as much to balance that out. and there is no crime you could commit against me that i would not forgive you for. not that you… would need or want my forgiveness.”
i am. crying actually. why is ur writing so precious and why is he so precious and why why WHY... sobbing.
“i will begin to despise you if i let you in, you realize that, right?” “and i will adore every moment of your resentment,” he smiles softly, sadly, like it's all he wants. like he’d take the sweet fragments of you over any other full person.
pls need a love like this :)))) help:))))
give me the devil as my lover and i’ll serve her forever, his heart calls.
MOON... WHEN I CATCH U !!! WHEN I CATCH U MOON !!!!
so when his hands cradle your head against his chest, his body enveloping yours like a thick fog settling over you, you let him. and you wonder why he could love someone so wrong. to him, your flaws are a million times more prominent. and that means he could only love you deeper.
thank u this just rewired my brain actually.:)))
if you’re a bad friend, then you’re a worse lover. your body aches for his just like him for yours and you give him nothing and take everything. you take and take and take until he’s exhausted, but the worst (best?) part is leon only wants to give and give until you push his head away from you, until you force him to stop. your body takes him like he’s the only drug you’ve ever craved, carving sweet nothings into his wrist and thighs and shoulders with your fingertip, though he’s sure you imagine doing so with a blade encompassing your hand. he shivers at the thought. maybe he wants it too. you shatter him to pieces with every touch, picking up the broken pieces of the mess you’ve made of him. you keep them close, treasuring every kiss you place on his neck, every touch on his waist, the way his cock fills you up so perfectly. he loves that you just take whatever you want from him. no warning, no concern for him. you know he wants to be used for your every desire, every need. he’s yours to drain of life like a vampire sucking the life out of its helpless victim.
no bc.... how dare you i want to stab myself JFDKJF LIKE JDFKJF HELLO BABE ???? OMG ???? MY HEART MY FEELS MY EVERYTHING ?????? iwill never be the same person after this. like im sorry but. oh god oh god. your writing is so delicious i am kissing you
maybe i am crying again. perhaps. it's possible
apathy — leon kennedy
author’s note: this is so horribly self-indulgent self-centered self-serving, it might as well not even be x reader and literally just leon x moon i’m so sorry. this is angsty smutty nonsense for anyone who wanted more feelings and less horniness out of gratitude. i do not apologize for any comparisons of the reader being like the moon.
wc: 3.3k
content: switchy/sub!leon x switchy/dom!reader, fem!reader, she/her pronouns, afab reader, re4r leon, scratching and bruising, hickeys, masochist!leon agenda, reader’s got a lot of feelings, mention of edging and denial, mentions of food
warning: this is not dark content, but reader is lowkey toxic. please be aware that i don’t endorse treating your partner like this. mention of using a knife on him once.
notes:
“i will begin to despise you if i let you in.”
“and i will adore every moment of your resentment.”
“i won’t get better. i won’t change for you. this is what you’re stuck with.”
“it’s okay, i like you as you are.”
—
“i promise that you don’t want me,” you had said once. leon didn’t really know what to do with that statement. it was a promise, but you would have already broken it a million times over; that is how badly he wants you.
he knows what you really meant. it wasn’t some promise you had no way of keeping. it was a warning, a cautionary tale. wanting you would not be good for him, plain and simple. though, sometimes, plain and simple isn’t always as such. sometimes it’s much, much more complex than meets the eye.
he recalls the moment in his apartment as clear as day. you had said, “look. i want you. i very clearly do, this is not… me denying that fact. what i am trying to say is that you do not want me. i don’t care what you think you know. what you think you want. you don’t want to have me.”
he took a while to think about what you had said. it wasn’t a choice he had, to pick you or to pick freedom. it wasn’t one or the other. you didn’t let him pick you, because he would have, you knew it, he knew it. he would give you anything.
his biggest problem is he never knew why. you made yourself very clear, you wanted him, and this, you had him, but you refused to let him have you.
“you don’t want me,” you said, but he does.
you try to block him out, to avoid him, even as he tries and pushes you for answers, to know why, why you don’t let him have you, why you insist he can’t want you.
he keeps pushing, keeps chasing you. in a way, it’s nice. you like being chased, being wanted, desired. the only problem is that it’s leon. if it was anyone else, anyone less moral and perfect and everything the world needs desperately and does not deserve, then maybe you would be more okay with letting this all happen.
but leon doesn’t deserve how you’ll inevitably treat him, using your power over him to do whatever you please, using him for every last drop of pleasure he has to offer you, and then leaving him when you’re done. he would be the most delightful treat, but you abstain simply out of guilt from how perfect the man is.
you don’t know if you could ever forgive yourself for ruining leon, making him recover from the misery that would be your love.
—
“you know i’m not good for you,” you whisper to him, “i love you and love you and love you until you can’t breathe with how filled to the brim you are with my affection and adoration and then i leave you alone to… do whatever it is you do while i want to be alone,” you tell him, more like lecture him, as he stands there. he’s trying to get closer you and you won’t let him, both figuratively and literally. he tries to reach out for your hand but you pull back.
“i’ll leave you alone. you hate people who do that,” you murmur that last part, and leon notes to himself that someone who doesn’t care wouldn’t remember his propensity to dislike the people who have left him alone before.
“that’s… fine. i know you’re introverted and… you need alone time, i get it,” he tries to reason, even with his own insecurities, “i’ll be okay.”
“no, you don’t understand, i am terrible. i will crave you and ache for you and need you and still know i am not a torture that you deserve,” you’re glaring at him with an anger that isn’t real, it is more out of desperation, “if i can know i am awful, why can’t you?”
“call me ignorant if you want, i don’t care. i want the worst of you,” he says, reaching out again. you take a step back, but he takes two forward, and his presence is never one you’ve been known to resist, “let me have y—”
“i will hurt you!” you tell him, but you give in just slightly. you bring your hands to his waist, too gentle for your previous statement to make sense. he thinks you’re lying, anything to push him away. you’re too soft on him to be so cruel.
“you know i’m a masochist,” he still laughs. he holds you back as you reach out for him, your soft, teary eyes vaguely make out a smile from his pretty lips. what a terrible time to be joking, leon.
“that’s not funny, leon,” you whisper.
“never said it was,” he feels tears prickling at his eyes too. he wonders how you could be so cold and uncaring if you’re crying for him right now. he wonders if maybe, just maybe, you’re not selfish like you say you are. you’re just a girl who has only ever had to look out for herself.
“i will hate you,” you bite your lip, nervous. he’s winning, “i will do terrible things to you.”
“i will love you just as much to balance that out. and there is no crime you could commit against me that i would not forgive you for. not that you… would need or want my forgiveness.”
moments pass where your hands are digging in trenches into his skin, knowing you’ll never be able to let him go if this goes on any longer. he holds onto your hips, afraid you’ll leave if he lets go.
he aches to break the silence, but you won’t believe anything he says anyway. he’d tell you he saw the good in you, the girl who was nice and cared about others, and you would have the displeasure of telling him it’s all a facade.
“i will begin to despise you if i let you in, you realize that, right?”
“and i will adore every moment of your resentment,” he smiles softly, sadly, like it's all he wants. like he’d take the sweet fragments of you over any other full person. of course he would. they wouldn’t be you.
you dig your fingers into his skin, rough but not painful, aching to take him but still nervous that he doesn’t really know what he’s signing up for, “i won’t get better. i won’t change for you. this is what you’re stuck with.”
“it’s okay, i like you as you are,” he says, his voice as gentle as ever. leon has always been gentle, kind, soft. god you just want all of him to yourself. you are everything he is not, possessive and selfish and cruel, but he loves it. he wants the worst of you.
give me the devil as my lover and i’ll serve her forever, his heart calls.
you can’t help the urge to give in, to let him win, let yourself take what you want by letting him win. you can’t help tightening your grip on his waist, pulling him in for a full hug that he reciprocates, big arms wrapping around your shoulders like he could shield you from the world. even if you were the monster you say you are.
words fail him, but he’d give you anything. he’d let you do anything, take his breath, his soul, his sanity, his life.
you say you’re a monster? prove it.
—
you do just that.
he’s not saying you’re dramatic… but you’re not the evil monster you’re painting yourself out to be. you’re a little apathetic sometimes, but aren’t we all?
he gets why you think you’re some monster. you can be selfish. you’re a loner at heart, and that just doesn’t work out well with the whole ‘relationship’ thing. you’re possessive despite not giving him attention, no one else can either. you want him all to yourself even when you don’t want him at all. sometimes he wonders why, but he doesn’t question you. you’re not even possessive most of the time, if anything, you just want his attention.
you said you’re mean and cruel and you warned him that you wouldn’t change, but he just doesn’t believe it. you’re the ‘stop to help old ladies cross the street’ type of caring. you’re the ‘hand on his shoulder to get him out of someone else’s way’ type of caring. you’re the person who stays behind as everyone else walks ahead when someone’s tying their shoe. you care. you’re kind. you don’t see it.
you, and everyone else in this world, mistakes apathy for cruelty. it’s like, you don’t care about what people have to say? you must be the devil incarnate.
1. wrong. you not being interested in people around you isn’t something you can control. sometimes people are just boring.
2. he thinks the devil (you!) is hot.
and you feel too deeply, too ashamed about everything to be as apathetic towards the world as you think you are. leon looks at you and sees how you care. it’s different, but it’s not wrong. he knows you don’t care about the stories people tell you, you don’t remember pieces of their lives or their birthdays. you don’t care when they share those fragments of themselves, vulnerable and desperate for reassurance you’re not going to give them.
you don’t care. and you hate that you don’t care, but hating your apathy doesn’t make it go away. it doesn’t cancel out the cruelty you think you are. and that is the epitome of it all. you care so badly about how much you don’t really.
leon holds you close as you cling to him, arms wrapped around his torso as you curl your head into his chest as you lay on the bed, cold feet hanging off the edge of the mattress like the evil monster underneath would come to take you away. maybe it should, you muse. maybe then i could forgive myself for being so wrong.
and for stealing leon away from the world. someone so perfect. not actually perfection, because things are less likable when there’s nothing to critique about them. it is only when something is flawed in many ways that loving it so deeply is possible. it is easy to love something perfect. it is rewarding to love something imperfect and raw and human and real.
but in an ironic way, it is easy to love leon. he’s so loving and kind, you wonder why he’d ever want you because you’re very much not easy to love, but to leon? maybe you are.
so when his hands cradle your head against his chest, his body enveloping yours like a thick fog settling over you, you let him. and you wonder why he could love someone so wrong. to him, your flaws are a million times more prominent. and that means he could only love you deeper.
—
if you’re a bad friend, then you’re a worse lover. your body aches for his just like him for yours and you give him nothing and take everything. you take and take and take until he’s exhausted, but the worst (best?) part is leon only wants to give and give until you push his head away from you, until you force him to stop.
your body takes him like he’s the only drug you’ve ever craved, carving sweet nothings into his wrist and thighs and shoulders with your fingertip, though he’s sure you imagine doing so with a blade encompassing your hand. he shivers at the thought. maybe he wants it too.
you shatter him to pieces with every touch, picking up the broken pieces of the mess you’ve made of him. you keep them close, treasuring every kiss you place on his neck, every touch on his waist, the way his cock fills you up so perfectly.
he loves that you just take whatever you want from him. no warning, no concern for him. you know he wants to be used for your every desire, every need. he’s yours to drain of life like a vampire sucking the life out of its helpless victim.
you tell him what to do, order him around viciously, and he has no choice but to obey. what’s he going to do? try and tell you what to do? dominance has never been his forte, he’s too awkward, too shy. besides, if he even tried to tell you you’re a ‘good girl’ right now, you’d probably slap him.
to be fair, he’d probably like it, like the sting of your palm against his cheek, like the burning feeling afterwards, like the red mark on his face in the aftermath. he still won’t do it, for your sake. call that self-sacrifice.
you dig your nails into his skin, into his chest, his waist, his thighs, until small little crescent moons cover his entire body, leaving the mark of the moon that you were in his sky.
if he was the sun, you were the moon. he shines and shines and shines and you take his sunshine and keep it as your own. he lets you because it makes you brighter, happier, lighter, god you’ve seemed so much happier these days. ever since you gave in and let yourself be loved by him, he’s made your life nothing but brighter. doesn’t make you feel bad for your incredibly chronic case of general apathy, just makes it easier to not feel like a monster on the daily, which is appreciated. you worried so much about how cruel and selfish you would be to him and he’s been nothing but joyous since.
when you’re not pressing your nails into him, you’re gripping him so tightly that you just might bruise him. it’s alright if you do, he’s always liked it rough. his body is a clean canvas that’s yours to depict your destruction upon. by the end, he's heaving, skin red and irritated from scratching and bruised up all on his neck and thighs. your mouth is insatiable when it comes to his neck, the vampire comparison must have really been accurate.
he likes that you’re selfish, that making him orgasm was never your goal. sure, you’re not going to deny him, though maybe you would, now that he thinks about it. okay, try that again, you weren’t trying to deny him this time, but that doesn’t mean you cared if he did cum. if anything, you did it for your own selfish wants, getting to watch him fall apart so helplessly.
you took care of yourself, because that’s all you know how to do.
his heart still aches when he sees tears welling up in your pretty eyes, switching positions so he could hold you close as you ride him, his hands rubbing circles into your back, “i got you, pretty girl. just breathe.” and that’s it.
he knows if he keeps talking, you’ll get uncomfortable, and you’ll run away. like a wild animal that might get scared off at any moment, he treads cautiously and treats every moment of you in his arms with the utmost value. you come undone just a few moments after him, and you ride out your orgasm even as he bites back whimpers of pain. he’s sensitive and tense, sure, but you’re still grinding down on him, using him for every last drop of pleasure, and he’s not in any position to stop you.
you collapse onto him, as if fully giving in to that feeling that says to trust him. to hold him close. to love him endlessly for putting up with your constant bullshit.
“you’re so beautiful,” he whispers as you lay together on the bed, his fingertips brushing through your hair. he’s painfully gently, so much more so than you are with him. (you’d feel bad if he wasn’t moaning so loudly every time you hurt him.)
you hum, hand rubbing his side, up and down motions following the curve of his torso, enjoying the way he groans in discomfort, “i warned you that i was mean,” you say, enjoying the way he laughs.
he’s so bright and lively with you, and you can’t help but wonder if you’ve brought out something in him that was hidden away too. more youthful, free of the problems bestowed upon him by the events of his early 20s. he’s even more beautiful than you are to him. not that he’d ever think that’s possible.
“i know, i know…” he mumbles, his hand placed on the back of your head as he pulls you in for a soft kiss, his other hand on your cheek, thumb brushing against it almost as if to wipe away tears. luckily, you were past that. you had cried enough.
you warned him that you were mean, cruel, apathetic, distant, etc, and maybe you were. or maybe you would become those things. maybe this is the high high before the low low you had talked about once. the moments where you’re perfect and loving and amazing right before your descent into resentment and cruelty.
but for now? all leon knows is you’re a helluva lover and he can't imagine a better way to sleep than in a lover’s arms. he falls asleep before you do, sleeping like a baby before you doze off.
you stay awake a little bit longer, still plagued with the thoughts of what the hell you did to deserve this man. you come to the conclusion that sometimes bad things happen to good people.
and sometimes? good things happen to bad people. leon’s love was the best thing you could ever obtain, and you refuse to let it go.
—
the next morning, he kisses your cheek as he serves you breakfast, and talks about something you don’t care about. he’s sure you’re not listening, but he doesn’t mind. he’s more just thinking out loud to himself.
you stare at the plate as you eat, off in your own world. he just waits until he can be a part of your world again, watching you intently. he likes looking at you, even like this. you’re far too beautiful for his soul to handle.
you look over at him as you notice him staring, “hm?” you groan, making a small sound to acknowledge and question his gaze.
he just shakes his head, “just like looking at you, pretty,” he smiles, and you roll your eyes. you can’t help the adoration that fills your bones at the sight of him. he’s perfect. everything to you. even if you can’t always show it, or even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
you told him you wouldn’t change for him. and he never wanted you to. there was nothing to change, you were already perfect to him. he can’t help but keep his eyes on you the whole morning before he has to leave for work.
as he does, even though it’s with a heavy heart because you look so sad that he has to go and he never wants to make you sad, he gives you his goodbye kiss. your hand finds the back of his neck and your thumb pressed on a newly tender bruise on the side of it. he winces at the touch, and you smirk. he’ll never forget how fatal you are, even in your… softer moments.
#my heart is so weak for a gentle leon who just wants to love. like. makes me sick with yearning. help. jddkfdsjfsf#fic recs#moon <3#nsft
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Trouble Sleeping (Loki x reader)
I swear if this deletes for a third time Im gonna cry
KINDA A SLOW BURN BOIS
also I didn’t finish reading it over for mistakes bc I’m lazy
summary: y/n and Loki used to be very close friends and sometimes when she had bad nightmares he’d use his magic to calm her mind, a few years have passed and they’ve grown apart. Her nightmares come back and hesitantly she seeks Loki’s help again
word count: 3,592 wahahahaha
y/n leaned over one of the balconies that overlooked the kingdom’s private garden. The weather was perfect, the temperature ideal, sky blue, and the plants were all thriving feet below her. Despite the scenery however y/n’s attention was fixated elsewhere.
Down in the depths of the garden, propped up on one of the fancy golden benches was the youngest Asgardian prince-Loki. His dark raven hair was combed back as he turned to the next page in his novel, the cover matching the shade of green displayed on his clothes. y/n couldn’t help but sigh as she watched the handsome prince, they had once had an unbreakable bond. It was always Loki and y/n-best friends, one wouldn’t be seen without the other. But somewhere among their late teenage years, Loki had become more cold and distant towards y/n-leaving her alone in the giant halls of the castle to wander alone. That’s when her and Thor’s relationship grew stronger-she had always been friends with the God of Thunder but after her and Loki’s relationship crumbled to pieces he was there to cheer her up.
“Oh there you are!” Thor’s voice boomed-pulling y/n from her daydream. y/n glanced once more at Loki before turning her attention to her tall friend. “I was looking for you!” He beamed.
“What can I do for you, your highness?” y/n asked with a playful voice.
Thor smiled, putting his hands together before continuing, “I was hoping that you would join me and-” his words faded as he glanced down to the gardens and caught sight of Loki. y/n’s attention soon turned to the railing in front of her as she traced her fingers along it’s smooth surface. “You still watch him.” Thor told her, his normally enthusiastic voice was now dry and serious. “How long have you been thinking of him?”
y/n furrowed her eyebrows, playing with her fingers. “I never stopped.” She confessed, “I know it’s foolish but I can’t help it, I..miss him more than I can even begin to explain.”
Thor was silent as he watched the girl glance back down at the gardens then to the sky. “Let’s go...horseback riding.” He suggested, getting y/n attention. “To lift your spirits, we can go with Sif a-”
“No.“ y/n blurted out, “nobody else-I don’t want to embarrass myself again by falling off my horse.“
Thor chuckled, “nobody is going to think low of you-” he looked at y/n once more sensing her silent plea ”very well then, just us.” He agreed, making her smile.
“Thank you.” She laughed, giving him a hug. It caught Thor by surprise but he then loosely wrapped his arms around y/n in return. “Thank you for everything,” y/n whispered, “really, I don’t know what’d I’d do without you. I’m blessed to have a friend like you.”
“Of course.”
Neither of the two friends noticed that down in the gardens Loki clenched his jaw, snapping his book shut and silently retreated to his room-they also didn’t notice the pair of blue eyes staring through the window at them, when they returned laughing on horseback.
_____________________________________________________________
There was fire everywhere, thick black smoke made it impossible for her to breath. She was choking-desperate for air. She fell to the ground as the fire closed in quickly-it’s heat trapping her in the room. There was no hope, no help was coming and it was impossible to escape, with a loud crack the ceiling caved in leaving her trapped screaming out as the furious flames burned her alive.
y/n woke up with a start, beads of sweat lined her forehead although her room was cool and she found that her hands were shaking. Realizing it was just a dream she lied back down, covering her face with her hands as she tried desperately to fall back asleep. She got no more sleep that night.
The same thing happened again in the coming days and three days later while in training, y/n who was running on less than four hours of sleep was doing rather well. In one quick movement she jumped up-kicking the sword right out of Fandral’s grip.
“Very good!” Volstagg commented from across the room.
“Yes.” Fandral agreed, “show me that move and I’ll show you some of mine.” He winked.
“Just give me a time and place.” y/n responded playfully, earning a laugh.
“Impressive.” Fandral commented at her response. (she normally responded to his joke flirting with an eye roll)
“Yes impressive.” Loki commented from behind Fandral. “That y/n can apparently chase after two men at once.” He said this while staring casually at Thor. Sif went stiff inder the tension and Thor opened his mouth but y/n spoke first.
“I’m sorry?”
“Well by the looks of it, you can’t seem to decide between Thor and-”
“Brother that’s enough.” Thor warned, taking a step forward.
“I’m just putting out a warning, you do know what they say about these sort of things.” Loki remarked, not meeting her eyes.
“You know full well that I am not chasing after anyone.” y/n said, growing aggravated.
“It sure seems that way.”He then opened the door to the room and left.
“You know what?” y/n responded, dropping her sword to the ground with a loud clang “I am tired of this.”
“y/n I think it best if you ignore him.” Sif spoke up, “nobody is accusing you of anything, we all know you aren’t that sort of person-”
“Thank you Sif, but I am not taking this.“ y/n exited the room in pursuit of Loki, who was a few paces ahead of her walking calmly.
“I don’t like being followed.“ He simply called out to her, because his room was only about a minute walk away from the training room he reached it fairly quickly.
“What is your problem?“ y/n asked him, putting her foot in between the door and it’s frame as Loki was about to shut it.
“I don’t have a problem, now if you’d excuse me I’d like you to leave me alone.“
“Then leave me alone.” She huffed, “hold your silvertongue and stop acting as if you’re above me because you’re not.”
“Is that all?“ He asked her calmly, “you’re done with your childish tantrum?”
“Oh you are so-“ y/n narrowed her eyes.
“So what?“ Loki asked with an eye roll.
“Terrible.“ y/n blurted, earning a cold laugh from the God of Mischief.
“So I’ve been told.“ He stated bored.
“No, I mean you’re really terrible and for so many reasons.”
“Such as?“
“You want a list?“ y/n asked with a bitter laugh, “ok well you think you’re better than everyone and you’re not, you poke fun at other people because it’s amusing to you and-and everyone-I mean everyone thinks that you’re a snake, ever since we were younger, and I can’t believe I’m just now realizing that..they’re probably right.“ He swallowed hard furrowing his eyebrows, “you used to be my best friend Loki, I’d defend you from people’s accusations when you weren’t around and..I wasted my time because you are everything people say you are and worst.“ She saw the look in his eye, she hurt him-good now he understood how it felt.
Loki glanced away-looking down at the girl again. “Is that all?” He asked, trying desperately to remain collected. y/n scoffed. “You may think you know me but I know you much more, don’t forget, I’ve been inside your head. People may think I’m a bad person but I can live with that, you on the other hand can’t stand the fact that someone might not like you, so much so that you’ll break down about it. You’re a weak fighter, you’re not as clever or as witty as you seem to think, and frankly I don’t understand the fascination Thor seems to have with you, you’re nothing special.”
y/n pulled her foot from the doorway. What happened to us? She was about to cry and she did not want him seeing that. “Is that all?” She asked, reciting his previous question.
“Yes.“ He spat coldly.
“Good.“ She turned to walk away as Loki stayed in his place trying to keep the impression that he didn’t care.
Late at night y/n tossed and turned in her bed, trying to fall asleep after waking up from a particularly realistic dream-she had thought that by laying still she’d trick her body into falling asleep but that didn’t happen. She knew that she had been able to power through the last few days with almost no sleep-but she’d certainly crash if she didn’t get any sleep soon. The thought of making a visit to Loki for help came to her mind, but she really didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she wanted/needed his help. Screw it. She thought after another couple of hours, her clock read 2:35 as she swung her legs over her bed and slipped on her slippers and robe.
The halls were dark and empty except for the occasional guards, which she was careful to avoid (she didn’t want to raise any suspicion). Thank God her room was only a three minute walk from Loki’s. It was once she was already in front of Loki’s door that she started getting second thoughts, but she was there already and the worst that could happen was getting the door slammed in her face or no answer. She raised her cold knuckle, letting it hover over the door’s fine wood before knocking. “It’s y/n..” She announced barely above a whisper, “trust me I really don’t want to ask for your help but I see no other option an-”
The door opened a small crack. “you do realize what time it is, right?” Loki’s annoyed voice asked-he didn’t sound like he had just woken up, maybe he was having trouble sleeping also.
“I know.” At her response Loki opened the door wider, revealing himself in a pair of emerald colored pajamas. “Look I know-” at the sound of approaching footsteps (guards) Loki stepped aside, giving her a cue to get in. She did, turning to face him one he closed the door again-his back facing the door he put his hands on his hips.
“What do you want?”
“I can’t sleep.” She said sheepishly, “I just-I’m getting the same nightmares again and I thought that maybe just this once you could, you know..” She put hands up, wiggling her fingers to imitate magic.
Loki rolled his eyes, “first off that’s not at all how magic looks, second why should I help you?”
“Just this once!“ y/n practically begged, “please. I’ve have not been sleeping at all I just need one hour. I won’t make you sleep on my couch like I did when we were younger, you can just...alter my thoughts or something and I’ll leave and-”
“Fine.“ Loki agreed, grumpily. He walked back over to his bed, getting in between the covers on the left side. “Well?“ He asked when she stared blankly at him. He rolled his eyes again, “Obviously if you go back to your room I won’t be able to sense when I have to alter your thoughts and you’ll just come back to make a racket when you have another nightmare.“ y/n nodded slowly, making her way to the right side of the bed. “Besides it’s a big bed, just stay on that side-away from me.” She laid down, hesitant at first as she tightened her robe around herself. Loki leaned over, placing a finger and thumb over her temples to enter her mind.
When she woke up she was in the same exact position that she was in when she went to bed and Loki was standing directly above her looking annoyed once again. It was still dark outside as he looked down at her from where he stood. “It’s about time, I’ve been trying to wake you up for the last two minutes.”
“What time is it?“
“6:05..the castles about to start waking up, you should leave before more people get uo to avoid being seen.“ y/n nodded in agreement.
“Ok“ she walked to his door, turning to watch as he laid back down in his bed. “And Loki..“
“What?“ He sighed.
“Thank you.“ She said softly, leaving the room right after. Loki was left surprised.
“Look I know I said just once-” y/n whispered that night outside of Loki’s door, it was past 2 a.m. again, but surprisingly Loki let her in again.
“The faster you stop pestering me, the better.“ Loki told her harshly. He had woken her up at 6 a.m. again like he had done the the last time. The time after that Loki woke her up at 7 and the time after that she had woken up past 8 to see Loki sitting in a chair some feet from her sharpening his knives-when she had asked him why he hadn’t woken her up he had simply reminded that he could just teleport her back to her room, that way nobody would know she had spent the night there.
Flash forward a month later, y/n tiptoed to Loki’s room in her nightgown again, the nights were getting hotter which had led to her to leave her robe behind. When she had reached Loki’s room she didn’t need to knock, since he now left it unlocked for her.
Once she laid down on the right side of the bed (more towards the middle now rather than all the way on the edge) Loki laid down about a foot from her. They didn’t go to bed right then however, since they had formed a habit of talking before falling asleep. “Have you been sleeping better?” Loki asked the girl beside him.
“yes.”
“Good...”
y/n rolled onto her side to face Loki, “Thank you again.” He nodded. “You know for someone who hates me, you’re actually quite kind to me.” The corner of Loki’s mouth folded up slightly,
“I don’t hate you...” He rolled over onto his side to face her, “but what I do hate-“ he then had explained the entire plot of a book just to express his hatred for one detail in it.
y/n woke up in the middle of the night with a start, her nightmares had came back. As it turned out Loki wasn’t in the room but when he got back with a glass of water he noticed she was off right away. “I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized, sitting beside her, “I was just-I didn’t think-”
“I know, it’s fine.“ y/n told him, but his hand was still on her shoulder and his blue eyes still held worry in them. “I’m just-I’m going back to bed...“ Loki nodded, watching as she laid down again.
“Are you sure you’re alright?“ She nodded.
As she began drifting off she felt Loki take her hand in his. Later on in the night y/n woke up randomly, but she wasn’t facing Loki anymore-instead she was facing his dim window, she felt warm but not from the covers and to her surprise she realized that the prince’s arm was around her waist, keeping her close. Their legs were tangled mess at the bottom of the bed and she could hear his slow breathing as he slept peacefully. She looked around slowly, trying to figure out a way to move away to avoid the embarrassment when he wakes up-but just as she began to shift around she heard him speak up. “What time is it?” up.
“Sorry...” She apologized growing red, “I don’t know how-“
“It’s fine.“ She heard Loki whisper.
“It is?“
“This is quite comfortable.“ He whispered again, then he moved slightly closer-resting his head on her shoulder and he fell asleep again-she assumed that he was half awake and didn’t fully process what had happened. She decided it didn’t matter and fell asleep again, after all he wasn’t wrong-it was comfortable.
There was a loud noise that woke y/n right up, making her jump. Now she realized that she was facing Loki again, her arms were wrapped around his neck like in a hug, his head was nuzzled in the crook of her neck-their legs still a tangled mess. Bang! Bang! There it was again, she lifted her head, looking towards the door as it came again-bang! Bang!
“Loki” She whispered, gently shaking his sleeping form. He ignored it, pulling her closer in response instead. “Loki, someone’s at the door.” She whispered, trying not to laugh. He sighed looking up towards his door.
“Just ignore it, they’ll go away it’s probably a servant or-”
“Loki!” Thor’s voice came from the other side of the door, “Loki, I know you’re in there! Open the door.” Loki rolled his eyes, standing up to make his way towards the door.
He opened the door a few inches, “what do you want?” He hissed.
“I-” Thor paused, “are wearing your nightwear?”
“Why is that of any importance-what do you want?”
“er, Loki is there someone in there with you?“ Thor asked.
y/n held her breath, afraid that somehow Thor would hear her from the doorway. “I-no!” Loki snapped, “What are you talking about?”
“Alright, alright I apologize. I’m here to ask if you have seen y/n? I’ve been searching for her, she’s normally turned up somewhere at this time it’s past 10.”
“No I don’t know where she is, I haven’t seen her. Check the garden, she’s most likely wandering around there.“ He shut the door, turning back to y/n.
“Past 10?“ y/n asked, covering her mouth, “I should’ve been awake two hours ago.” Loki shrugged. “Can you teleport me back to my room, I should go to the gardens since Thor’s looking for me.” Loki looked at the ground with an unfamiliar look in his eyes before nodding. “Thank you.”
The girl had spent more time with Thor training than she had expected that day, leading her to take an extra long shower at night to get clean. She hadn’t realized until she looked at her clock that it was past 10-normally she’d already be at Loki’s room by now. Quickly she dried her hair and changed into her nightwear.
She was about to leave and opened her door and unexpectedly Loki was there with his hand raised looking like he was about to knock. They stared at each other for a moment before she spoke up, “Loki? What are you doing here?”
He glanced to the side, not wanting to meet here eyes as she awaited his response, “I thought..” he said glancing at the ground before back to her, regaining his composure “that you-“
“Weren’t coming?“ She finished for him, he nodded.
“So I came to see if you were ok, I’ll leave.“
“Wait, no.“ She told him, grabbing his wrist and taking him by surprise, “I was just coming it was just taking me longer, but you can sleep here if you want since you’re already here...?” He nodded in agreement, stepping into her room.
He settled himself into the bed, opening his arms for her to crawl into which she quickly did. The two laid there for a moment, listening to the quietness as Loki slowly brushed through her hair with his fingers.
“remember the other day when I said that you were terrible?“ y/n suddenly asked, getting Loki’s attention. He stopped running his fingers through her hair.
“Yes, why do you ask?“ He responded cautiously.
“I was just mad at you. I’m sorry.“
He took a moment to think to himself, “I didn’t mean what I said either."
“Can I ask you something?” y/n asked after a while later.
“What?”
“Why did you push me away?” She asked, shifting herself to meet his eyes.
Loki sighed-only it wasn’t from being aggravated this time. He backed up a few inches from y/n-staring straight up at the ceiling. “It’s because..”
“Because what?”
“I had noticed that you and Thor were becoming closer and decided to..abandon you before you did me. I thought it’d hurt less that way.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, everyone always seems to choose Thor over me, I just assumed you would, in time, do the same.“ He confessed, still not meeting her gaze.
“Loki...“ she set her hand on his shoulder waiting for him to look at her. “I would never abandon you for Thor, sure Thor is my friend but so is Fandral, so is Volstagg, so is Sif and I’m not abandoning anyone for them.“
He nodded.
“And tonight..“ y/n spoke up again, “when you thought I wasn’t coming-“
“I assumed you wouldn’t need me anymore, especially after you had spent so much time with Thor.“
“Loki!“
“What?“
“Don’t be like that!“ y/n told him, sitting up, “I do need you! I’ll always need you, I need you don’ t doubt that, and not just because of stupid nightmares, because I care for you and I love you, ok?”
Loki smiled to himself, “you love me?“
“Yes you stupid-“ she stopped talking because Loki had leaned in, capturing her lips in a kiss, taking no time to hesitate she leaned into him further deepening the kiss. After about a minute they pulled apart-resting their foreheads together.
“I love you too.“
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Any fic/writer recommendations?
YES OMG! let me rave about some amazingly talented fic writers :)
——
fic/blog recommendations
@chokemeanakin - she writes for anakin!!
COMFORT FICS!! her fics just give you that warm and fuzzy feeling and legit i think she has a fic for literally every scenario. they send me into “yearn for anakin” mode immediately! also, she has a lot of fics about comforting anakin that heal my heart bc ani deserved sm more
here is a link to her masterlist and here is a link to her current, ongoing series called “give me love” which i absolutely adore
@anakinlove - she writes for anakin!!
does this thing where she throws in insane characterization in the middle of her fics and it’s like so fucking good. it’s like these little pieces that make the entire work feel so complete. legit cannot recommend enough!!
here is a link to her masterlist + her angst that made me sob + her longest, recent fic that is stunninggg
@poestardust - she writes for primarily poe dameron + other sw characters + a bunch others in other fandoms, too!!
DIALOGUE. LITERALLY AMAZING!!! her reader is usually super snappy and she gives the reader so much character and personality, i cannot get enough. also her dynamics are so well developed in her fics, on both platonic and romantic sides which i always love!
here is a link to her masterlist + the masterlist for her ongoing poe high school au series “it’s not all roses” bc i just caught up with the chapters out rn and... immaculate
@buckysbeloved - she writes for a lot of marvel + sw characters + some others, too!!
something about her fics that stand out to me is the way she conveys comfort and affection. not only are her descriptions amazing, but she gives reasoning for why the characters seek out/give comfort in the ways they do. and it always makes so. much. sense.
here is a link to her masterlist + her ongoing, current auntie reader x uncle pietro maximoff series/fics. if you watch wandavision, read it right now, you’ll love it!
@beskar-tano - she writes for lots of sw + marvel characters!!
her fics just remind me of home. i can’t describe it any other way... but whenever i want that feeling of home and warmth and love and security, i go to her fics.
here is a link to her masterlist + these bath with ani hc’s + domestic ani hc’s that are both some of my comfort fics <3
@artiza-n - she writes for primarily anakin and bucky barnes but i think she’s open to some other mcu characters, too!
she loves writing protective fics so if you like that, go read her stuff rn! and i just feel very safe when i read them and i loveeee that. she packs in so much softness and love into her words, too <3
here is a link to her masterlist + part 1 and part 2 of her stargazing with anakin fics :)
@obirain - she writes primarily for obi wan + some other sw characters!!
i just finished binging a few of them and woah some of the deepest fics ive ever read tbh. the emotion, the yearning in her writing is something i legit admire. her angst is soft, yet so palpable in a way that is unique to her writing. she is truly very fucking talented.
here is a link to her masterlist + this artist!reader x obi wan fic that is so pure and gorgeous
@starwarsflowers - she writes for anakin and obi wan i think? possibly more sw characters!
her fics are normally shorter but holy fuck- they’re so well written. she did a few “*character* and how they love you” and... so beautiful. truly. you can tell she understands the characters and the differences between them to the absolute fullest extent.
she is a fairly new account so i don’t think she has a masterlist (pls correct me if im wrong!) but here is a link to her recent anakin angst fic that made me cry legit tears
@ddaeng-danvers - she writes for anakin + other sw characters + other fandoms too!
her fics are so fucking sweet!! and she captures padawan!anakin especially well, i still remember reading her fics and the way she mixed his caring with his love with his arrogance with his insecurity all while carrying plot and feelings?! i was floored, it was amazing
here is a link to her masterlist + the padawan!anakin x reader fic i was talking about :)
@saltybreaddream - they write for lots of sw + other fandoms/characters!
omg where do i begin... their fics bring me so much joy and so much painnn!! something unique to their writing is the way they truly commit to taking the audience through the reader’s full emotions, good and bad, especially in their series. after reading their fics, i truly and personally feel like ive gone through what the reader has and that is legit so powerful.
here is a link to their masterlist + this fluff anakin fic they wrote (i requested it hehe) bc it just... comfort fic what can i say
@dexthtoyounglings - she writes for lots of sw characters!
i love her fics because they are just exceptionally in character. her writing made me wanna play fallen order bc her love of cal kestis is legit contagious!! they also just feel really personal, which is super cool.
here is a link to her masterlist + these hc’s about training with ani that make me so very happy
——
okay!!! if i forgot someone, please know it wasn’t personal and i’m just an idiot! and there are loads of other wonderful fics ive reblogged under the [# fic recs] tag <3
im really hoping i linked the right stuff but if someone notices a link doesn’t work/is wrong feel free to hop in my ask box/drop a comment and let me know and i shall fix it!
also: while none of the fics i directly linked are nsfw, some of these authors write some nsfw fics. they all tag correctly + add warnings at the top of those fics (and i think they all also specify which are nsfw on their masterlist, too). please, please respect them and their rules and, if you’re a minor (like me), do not read or interact with those works.
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sunnflower hot take >:)
okay, okay so. i know that sunnflower is a rly popular OMORI pairing, and don't get me wrong, i like it, too,,,, HOWEVER. here is a post-good ending headcanon that will smash all of ur sunnflower dreams into a million bits and pieces <3
[edit: just want to let anyone else who sees this post that it is 10000% okay to ship sunflower, and this whole post is purely a headcanon that’s been stewing in my brain since last month, and it is only my interpretation and my opinion !]
TW // suicide, anxiety, mental institutions, childhood trauma
Sunny and Basil *cannot* see each other
i have been up for 24 hours and don't know if anything i'm about to say will make sense, so bear with me. it's not uncommon for people who shared trauma to have intense reactions that manifest in their relationships with each other. some people become hyper-attached to each other after the traumatic event, while some people are the exact opposite, and if these people come into contact with each other, it can be extremely detrimental to their mental healths. the latter is how i see basil and sunny (especially basil).
throughout the game, a lot of their interactions come off as stiff and awkward not only because they haven't spoken in years, but also because basil is too emotionally dysregulated to keep up a conversation. he's stuttering, he's sweating--WE ALL SAW HIM. he is an anxious. wreck, and this anxiety directly stems from mari's death and sunny's presence. especially after kel breaks the news that sunny's moving away, we can see that any major changes sunny makes are going to heavily affect basil on a psychological level. this isn't just a problem with basil clinging to the last bit of familiarity in his life, but it would also affect sunny's personal growth if these patterns were to be perpetuated in any future relationship between the two, platonic or romantic. imagine trying to move on from the most traumatic experience of your life, and an old friend you haven't talked to in years, begs you to stay. it isn't healthy for either of them.
FURTHERMORE, in regards to the secret true ending with the special SunnFlower cutscene, i think that it's okay to say that these two are beginning the healing process and are working towards finding peace in their lives separately. this ending doesn't imply really anything other than a mutual understanding that everything they'd been holding onto for years had finally been released, and that they were now beginning their journey of recovery.
i don't think they talk for a long time after the good ending--i don't think they really want to. for sunny, basil is a painful reminder of not only the death of his sister, but also the incident that landed him in the hospital. you don't just automatically make amends with the person that gouged your eye out during a psychotic episode. i think that sunny understands and forgives, but i do not think he feels safe.
for basil, on the other hand, sunny is a reminder of the terrible thing he did to mari's body and also his abandonment issues he got from his absent parents. in my opinion, being the person who strung up your best friend's dead sister into a tree to make it look like a su*cide is worse than being the one who pushed her down the stairs. you can push someone on accident, but you definitely can't hang someone on accident. i imagine there's a lot of guilt in there mixed with a whole lot of other childhood trauma from his neglectful parents that is a cocktail for mental instability. (also would like to point out that basil having the idea to hang her up in the first place is an early sign of extreme mental illness,, that isn't normal and also hints at some kind of emotional codependency or unhealthy attachment he has to sunny.) the fact that basil was pushed so far that he had a psychotic episode which resulting in him stabbing his friend--which by the way was triggered by sunny's mere presence, not an immediate physical threat of any kind--is so telling of his mental state, and i honestly believe that best thing for him would be hospitalization. for a while. if he cannot be safe to himself and others, then he needs to begin his recovery in a rehabilitation center, and who knows when it would be safe for him to be discharged.
to put that last bit in perspective, i've been hospitalized before due to a pretty half ass attempt that i didn't follow through with because i was drunk out of my mind and that landed me five days. five days, and i didn't even do anything, like no physical harm came to me. also, during my time there, i was really adamant about how i was feeling better and said i had reduced SI which is also how i got out of there in that small amount of time. i have no idea how much time someone like basil would have to spend in an institution, but it would probably be more than a few weeks.
if seeing sunny was the final trigger that led up to basil's psychotic episode, then it is completely possible that seeing sunny would only bring up similar dysregulation problems in the future, even after he's well on his way to full recovery.
SO TL;DR
1. basil stakes his emotions too heavily on sunny,
2. for sunny, basil reminds him of his sister's death and incident that brought him to the hospital, leading him to feel unsafe around basil,
3. for basil, sunny reminds him of the guilt in shame of what he did to mari's body (which i think we can all universally agree is much worse than accidentally pushing her down the stairs),
4. sunny's presence pushed basil to a point where he was not safe to himself or others in an extreme manner that borders homicidal,
5. BASICALLY WHAT IM SAYING IS THAT THEY TRIGGER EACH OTHER AND WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE HANGING OUT FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME BC OF THE PTSD AND POSSIBLE PSYCHOSIS
so yeah. there it is. if you made it this far, im so sorry.
#omori#sunnflower#omori sunny#omori basil#omori sunflower#omori headcanons#omori spoilers#omori game#omori anaylsis
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Kings, Queens, Royalty, what are our (yes obvi collective bc we're all sharing a braincell here with everything Abimel) thoughts on Miss Abigael trying to bind her powers? And what are our theories about Miss Abigael and Miss Jordan being stuck in (I'm calling it a prison world because I deadass cannot remember the right word for) those separate prison-y worlds? Who's going to notice they're missing, Maggie or Mel??
OK TIME TO RANT.
TW. SPOILIES FOR S3 Ep 11.
TW Mentions of suicide and suicidal behaviors. TW cutting mention
TW depression
TW self harm
HELLO FELLOW KING/QUEEN/ROYALTY.
1. I fucking lost my shit with this episode. The writers are just fucking up huge. Abby is now moved to the most dangerous level of her depression, EXTREME self harm. Before she’d do things but she’d always wake up before it actually hurt her. Hell, this time she literally grabbed shards of glass and went ham on her skin like it was a piece of cake! How did she even reach her shoulder???? They didn’t even show all her wounds and that’s terrifying. she literally fully took sharp things and tried to kill herself from self injury and blood loss. I just.
i can’t.
the charmed writers have still not acknowledge this is depression, or done a thing on how self harm is horrible. Or have anyone actually recognize what Abby is doing without some cruel insult.
and considering the leap that happened, I’m honestly terrified she’s going make the final leap and they will barely even acknowledge it, nevertheless treat it as the delicate and important subject it is.
Literally every scene. Every scène in this was gut wrenching. Waking up in disarray and a desttoyed room, only to be covered in your own blood. (Ok technically she wasn’t, which is also logically incorrect, like what, her demon side decide to be nice and clean up the blood that was 100% no doubt pouring down her arms and body?) yeah no.
Walkinh up to Jorden. Asking him to help her do a binding spell.
Im gonna take a second here to establish that this is Abby. Abigael Jameson-fucking-Caine. the literal DEMON OVERLORD.
she lives for her magic. Magic is who she is and how she lives and she practically breaths the stuff. She’s the most magical out of all of the people on the show. It was how she was raised. It was ingrained into her more then anything else
the fact that she made a split second decision to get rid of ALL of her powers FOREVER.
It just is truly the ultimate show of how desperate she is. How much pain mentally and physically this is causing her.
im not even comment on the fact that I nearly cried from how soft Jordan was patching her up.
🥺😭😭😭 ok yes I am I just did GOD I LIVE FOR THEIR PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP ALMOST MORE THEN OVERWITCH THEMSELVES!
ALMOST! That’s a very hard almost. Overwitch is what gets my heart pumping in the morning.
bro just FUCKING bro! She was so scared. So so scared of the binding ritual. She didn’t want to do it but she had too. It was pure fear and desperation. (I flinched when she whimpered as she cut her hand. She’s already cut herself way to much in the last 24 hours. I’m not even gonna begin on the rollercoaster of thought’s she might have been feeling)
Also, is it just me, or is she ALWAYS too eager to go and slice her palm if they need demon blood for a spell. Like she generally doesn’t care if she hurts herself in the process. hell she proved that by literally poisoning herself painfully to get Harry’s attention.
and that was BEFORE getting a suicidal demon side.
god she’s been a mess for so long and no ones realizing it.
Bro. BRO. JORDAN. WAS. SO. FUCKING. SOFT when he was about to apparently STAB her??? Like what the fuck was that??? Oh to get rid of your powers we need EVEN MORE BLOOD or for you to flat out die, NO BIGGIE!
but look at him as he does it. He stands and gently caresses Her shoulder. I fucking sobbed at that. He holds her like she’s a fragile broken sparrow. A innocent bird. I NEED more of that.
haha if that’s not enought let’s add some MORE PAIN. onto this overwhelming ANGST SESH.
THE PERFECTI DECIDE TO SEND HER TO THE TOMB OF FUCKING CHAOS BY BURNINH A SYMBOL INTO THE BACK OF HER NECK??? WHERE SHE APPARENTLY FINDS A (hammer??) SOMEWHERE! (not gonna lie I didn’t know what I was missing till my life was complete with Abby with a hammer) anywho-
you fucked up perfecti!
the tomb of chaos is for the most evil of monsters and demons, who even murderers are afraid of
IT IS NOT FOR HALF DEMON HALF WITCH SUICIDAL BEANS WHO ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO DIE EVERY NIGHT AND TRYING TO REDEEM HERSELF
THE DIFFERENCE IS MORE THEN CLEAR.
bruh her scream though
🥺 jorden was so concerned
WHEN ABBY CALLED OUT FOR ‘JORDY’ WHEN SHE WAS NERVOUS AND ALONE
when she says ‘Anyone?’ That KILLED ME.
i SWEAR. If she’s gonna see hallucinations of her family I WILL loose my shit.
MY GOD. If in her dream cell she’s dating Mel??? like maybe that’s her incorrect thing.
also WHAT THE FUCK was that beginning scene??? So we all agreed that when she’s in her full on body length let’s bring out the angsty lace dress state, that shes “Asleep” and “Unconscious.” And “NOT LUCID OR SANE AT ALL”
like a normal person
so your telling Me, UNCONSCIOUSLY. She went to the CHARMED ONES HOUSE??
to do exactly WHAT exactly??? She’s not gonna kill them? She wants to kill herself! and she doesn’t even want them to die in real life.
so that’s un probable.
unless the reason she came their wasnt violence related at all!
she’s first in the house , and the first thing she says is MEL.
theirs a dramatic long pause and then she says the other sisters names
as if mels the soul purpose and Maggie and Macy are the unwilling spares.
AKA. CANONLY. IN HER TIME OF NEED. SHE GOES TO MELS HOUSE. TO SEARCH FOR MEL. SO MEL CAN BE THEIR WITH HER
AKA MEL IS EVERYTHING
OVERWITCH CANON
MIC DROP!
(i swtg if they hurt her next episode I will RANT AND BOYCOTT SO AHRD!)
#tw self destruction#tw depression#tw self destructive behavior#tw cutting#tw self harm#tw suidice#Charmed#Charmed reboot#abigael caine#mel vera#abimel#Overwitch#Abby x Mel#mel x abigael#abigael x mel#macy vaughn#harry greenwood#hacy#harry x macy#jordan chase#maggie vera#Charmed cw#Joggie#maggie x jordan#Charmed Abigael#Charmed Mel#Charmed Harry#Charmed Macy
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I want an essay on #12)
12. symbolism: tell me about some cool symbolism in spn! your pick
*puts on my english major hat* im about to put more effort into this than anything ive ever written for college. ok top 10 supernatural symbolism...this isnt in any particular order its just whatever i think of first. also it might not be actual top 10 im just remembering random shit. this has gotten out of hand so im putting it under a read more
1. the most obvious one, the impala. many have discussed this before me and im probably just repeating what others have said, but the impala is an extension of deans body/a representation and mirror of both his physical and mental state. obviously the impala gets destroyed in the season 1 finale when dean is dying. and he rebuilds it in season 2, while he is trying to regroup and rebuild from the death of his father. ive seen a post about how dean losing it and smashing the impala is a metaphorical form of self-harm which is :(( also, the impala staying covered and hidden away while dean is living with lisa and ben with this reading is so interesting. i do think dean loved the idea of a normal life with lisa and ben more than the reality (not that i dont think he loved them! any scene with dean and ben makes me soft). but this also makes it that much sadder because supernatural considers dean unable to live a life that doesnt involve hunting; the impala is hidden and dean is a shell of his real self. in season 7, they once again have to hide the impala away and use other cars. the impala is gone and hidden away; something is wrong. dean is hurting. he isnt his full self. why? whats missing during that time? cas. and in season 10, when dean is a demon, he stops caring for the impala. you know, because something is wrong with him. because hes a demon.
2. dean knocking over and breaking the angel statue in the beautiful room. he makes it fall with a single touch, hardly a push. and all it took cas was a single touch for him to fall and break. dean, of course, doesnt mean to shatter cas, though he does mean to make him fall. dean repeatedly argues with cas, acting as the human opposite to cas’ emotionless faith in heaven, pushing him toward the edge, pushing him to rebel, pushing him to choose humanity. and it works; cas learns to love through dean, and through that he rebels against heaven and falls in “every way imaginable.” and when he hits the ground, he breaks, shattering all his faith in god and everything, leading into the godstiel arc as he tries to put his pieces back together.
3. the streetlight as a halo over cas’ head in on the head of a pin. it flickers when anna appears, which is physically meant to show her power. however, it also shows cas’ wavering faith in heaven. interesting how anna, the angel who chose humanity over heaven and decided to fall, is the one making cas’ halo flicker. he is beginning to question things. he is beginning to feel. he is beginning to fall.
4. deans leather jacket in the first few seasons. its not actually dean’s, of course. it belonged to john. dean picks it up and puts it on while he and sam are searching for him, physically shouldering the weight of johns expectations of him. its too big on him. and dean is 26 at that point. hes well past done growing; he’ll never fit perfectly into that jacket. no matter what he does, he’ll never fit perfectly into johns expectations: the perfect son, the perfect soldier. and leather jackets are heavy even if they fit well. there is a physical weight on his shoulders now, a manifestation of the weight of the world and the weight of being a parent for his younger brother and everything john has piled onto dean since he was a child. he eventually stops wearing it (bc some absolute legend stole it irl), and i wish they’d taken that as an opportunity to have dean grow out of the shadow of his father, but supernatural is a bad show so they didnt.
5. mary, who just happens to be named after the mother of jesus. the perfect wife, the loving mother, the tragic figure, the victim, clad in white, the color of innocence. except shes not. she was raised a hunter. shes lived the bloody dark side of the world hidden from most. she loved her children, but she wasnt a perfect wife and mother. she didnt know how to cook. she and john fought, and he even moved out for a few days, and she needed her four-year-old son to comfort her. she is not the virginal mother; shes an imperfect person just trying to do her best. the dabb-era deconstruction of the very concept of mary makes me crazyyyyyyy if you couldnt tell.
6. these shots from 9.14 captives
in the first shot, we have a statue of cupid over cas’ left shoulder and a cross over his right. and in the second shot, there is a bible on the right side of the table, and nothing on the left. and cas turns to the left. he turns away from god, continuously choosing to turn away from stability and what he always knew in favor of love and humanity. there is nothing on the left side of the table precisely because there is nothing certain in cas’ future with humanity, but he chooses them anyway. plus, cas inventing free will by falling in love with dean retroactively makes this shot that much better; there is nothing on the left side of the table precisely because there is nothing written for him. cas falling in love with dean created an empty space in gods story. this show is pure fucking insanity oh my god.
7. serafina the angel (the pantheistic view in that episode makes me crazy but we wont get into that). serafina, whose name is audibly similar to seraph, the class of angel that cas is. coincidentally, the only seraphim we see in the show are cas, who falls in love with dean, and akobel, who married lily sunder. serafina, who fell in love with adam, the literal progenitor of humanity. and who is the character in supernatural that has always stood for humanity as a whole? dean. serafina literally had me convinced that deancas would happen in the finale.
8. the removal of -iel from cas’ name. dear god this one drives me crazy and i doubt it was on purpose. castiel, the shield of god. for eons he existed as a warrior and tool of god. and then along comes dean winchester, who does a very human thing. he gives him a nickname. cas. he removes the “of god” part. he removes god from cas, because dean doesnt value him for being a good soldier or a good son. he values him simply because hes cas. and cas questions everything, his loyalty to heaven, his blind faith that god would one day return. he is no longer a warrior of god. he is simply cas, the shield, and this time he chooses to be a shield for humanity, for the winchesters, for dean. for the michael sword. the shield protects the sword. cas dies shielding dean. this got off topic but its just sooo insane.
9. this shit from 2.13 houses of the holy. i know it was an unplanned coincidence but jesus christ.
10. ...lamp. i know i know but it still boggles my mind. the completely out of place tap dance that they had to spend time and money on to train two actors who had never tap danced before. the lamp being a source of light. divine light. cas. the whole thing being set to the song lets misbehave. WHY LAMP.
#this took me over an hour#are some of these a stretch? maybe. but what is literary analysis other than stretching media way past what the author intended?#ask
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fave dylb scenes bc I can't get over and I’m already rewatching and noticing little things heheee
- first meeting outside the restaurant. ohh how I love how awkward yet endearing they both were when they finally introduced themselves to one another. rewatching it made me realize that JY was already smitten by SA since the start. (like literally since the start y'all!!! he didn't even know her yet and wanted to stop the car to get SA an umbrella and this was in the first ep!!)
- when JY switched coffee cups with SA bc she spilt her cup and he started drinking it so she can’t refuse even though he doesn’t like coffee. Like he just did it bc he was compelled to do so?? like dude what if she already drank from it??? This scene was so funny to me and I love it cuz I dont think SA is used to being the one taken care of like that so it was just v cute
- when the noona was trying to get them to talk banmal but SA was like oh noooo he’s a superstar. This was cute bc you can actually see that JY was disappointed. Also they keep sneaking peeks at each other lol cute fools
- waiting for taxi scene- this was so freaking adorable. shows how considerate they both are for each other and it’s so freaking awkward when they both realized they were standing there waiting for each other to get a taxi- but like in the cutest way
- when they were both outside that restaurant and SA asked if JY enjoyed his performance at granny’s house and I think this was the first time someone asked our boy if he likes what he does for a living and you can just tell his heart went soft for her(same dude same)
- spontaneous non-date date. ohh I love the first time they ate together at that beer place. they really started to get to know each other there. the mood and how that scene was filmed was just chef’s kiss~~
- rehearsal room we should be friends scene. when homeboy transitioned from moonlight sonata to happy birthday, y'all knew it was over for SA- god damn I would have swoon over too
- by the river “I wanted to see you” scene- high key JY sucks at communicating but I love how he is just so taken by SA that he just flat out says he misses her and as soon as he says it he was almost shocked himself. so pure
- the midnight call. I MEAN. guys. guys. he wanted to just talk to her and ask her out but tried to be nonchalant about it. ahhh they literally portrayed the first stages of dating so well I'm goo for it !!!!!!
- first walk together in the walkway. this was just so adorable. the almost hand holding. the chemistry!! the shy smiles :’’’)
- SA’s birthday when she thanked JY for just being there for her. I love how she quietly acknowledges him and it was such an intimate interaction between them. I replay that scene a lot in my head
- when he ran to SA to give her his signed CD. He was so worried about her he forgot about JK lmaooo. Also the fact the he validated her as a violinist when SA was at a very low point... I mean... boyfriend material ugh
- the scene when SA told JY every little thing he does concerns her and that she didn’t want to feel that way about him anymore. As soon as SA said that homeboy PANICKED!!! I don’t even think he knew how much he liked SA until she said that :’)
- the lunchroom scenes 1) when they were teasing each other and 2) when JY announced that they were dating lolol I love how stoic he normally is but for SA he becomes a softie hehe
-ice cream day date; lol when SA won’t let JY tie her shoelaces bc she didn’t want to fall for him lol ok girl
-night ice cream/ stairs date. y'all know already. shit was just adorable. SA going for the kiss. I melted with the ice cream
- when JY asked SA for her handkerchief!!! it’s such a small gesture but they both knew it had a special meaning and I love how it put SA over the moon. (Also let’s include all the other times we see JY actually use that handkerchief- especially after they broke up. like homeboy was holding on to it for his dear life bc it was the only thing he had of SA~~ my fragile heart!!) ps did we ever see SA get a handkerchief from him???? No??? Sbs give me that pls
- when MS was telling JY in the car that SA has only openly confessed liking two things in her life and one them was JY. He was so flustered and couldn’t hide his smile and dimples... bruhhhhh he was full on swoon. Also when JY heard SA say that she really likes JY like he was so proud of himself lmao he’s like “yeah my gf LIKES ME” lolol
- when the lovebirds fought who was gonna clean up the broken glass at JY apartment. I love loveee this one bc SA has been beaten down so much by everyone calling her talentless that she didn’t even consider how important her hands is to her as a musician. And JY being like honey ur a violist and a musician too- UR HANDS ARE PRECIOUS. This was just v touching. Again showing how JY has always considered SA as an equal despite all the shit people say about his gf. luv him :’)
-all the moments JY just stood by SA’s side and held her hand when she needed comfort. I love how he’s just there for her. His silent support was just enough. (One thing that would have been nice is if we saw SA do the same thing, I felt like the writers were almost there but just didn't go all the way which is a shame tbh)
- Their lil day trip to JY’s hometown. I like how JY was so open to SA here. When he proclaimed that he never felt “this way before” I screamed!! It was at that moment you clearly knew as a viewer that JY never really loved JK. He might have he loved the idea of her, yes. But he never truly loved her the way he loves SA. And his realization of this in that particular episode just made me so so so happy
- Handholding in the bus scene. That shit was so freaking tender bc you can tell how content JY was. He was beyond smitten- homeboy was IN LOVE AT THIS POINT
- when JY dropped SA home. I mean everything about this scene really makes ur heart soft right?? How both of them were beaming? How SA feet probably hurt bc homegirl was wearing heels the whole day and walked another 30 min just so she can spend more time with JY? How she literally ran back to him and JY just had this impression watching her like “my gf is cute af”?? How SA said something along the lines of JY having somewhere to belong to now and you can tell this had a double meaning for him bc at this point he prob considered SA as his home..I was literally mush oh my god.
-break up scene. I know, v painful- but this was a rare one in kdramaland where I actually thought it was necessary for them to split (still wish it was done earlier but alas I'll take it) It was a graceful and needed breakup. Also when JY pulled out that umbrella for her.... bish it was over for me
- SA’s recital. I MEAN HOW IN SYNC COULD THEY BE. I normally skip the musical performances whenever I watch dramas that are music related- but this show makes it so magical I simply could not. PEAAAKKK ROMANCE
- JY’s recital- when he played that last song I was a big mess cuz we all knew it was dedicated for SA :’’) (I listen to this piece all the time now and im so emo when I hear it bc like god WHEN)
- First I love you scene. JY just going for it and chasing his happiness without caring if SA might reject him. We love to see it
-Second I love you scene. YALL. YALLLLL the way JY just releases his breathe when SA said she can't be friends bc she loves him more than a friend will forever slay me. Kim min jae’s acting here was real good. I love how JY said I love you four times and just went for it. top kissing scene in a krdrama for me hehee
- dubokki date. lmao at JY with the spicy level. just plain cute
-the quick side by side peek to JY new album in the last episode. the way it showed how their relationship evolved. how he signed it as “for my love song ah” BISH I WANNA DATE A MUSICIAN TOO NOW
- that lil scene where JY wrote SA’s name as the planner bc he knows she works just as hard as the musicians and deserves the recognition. get u a boy who will vandalize a program notice for u :)
- basically all the scenes at the end of ep 16. I wish all of them were longer. I wanted to see more of them dating and happy!!! But I just love how they are both so INTO each other and you can see how happy JY is bc he finally has that person back that understood him since the beginning and it makes you feel so warm knowing they’re each other’s support system ahhhh I love their love !!
- also just all the scenes that JY looks at SA lovingly ~~ which literally happened since ep 1 I mean they are literally heart eyes emoji for each other every time :’))
- oh oh OH special shout out to ep 11 when JY just can’t stop holding SA’s hands !! the way he does it is so freaking INTIMATE like if I can only describe how I feel whenever I see compilation gifs of that episode where JY just reaches out and holds SA’s hands so steadily and tightly...it’s literally the most heartwarming thing.. idek how to explain what I’m trying to convey but I just vibe with it so much?? it’s so intimate and romantic.. Kim min jae I will die 4 u my love
#do you like Brahms?#do you like brahms#there are more scenes and I will prob go back and add them#I'll shut up soon but I need to talk about it as a form of release lmao#anyways if y'all got dylb thoughts feel free to talk to meeeeee hehehe#also making this list made me realize that Kim min Jae really lives in my head rent free#HIS ABSOLUTE POWER OVER ME#and of course eun bin was just oh so good#I added more#sorry if u reblogged already but I keep remembering more scenes that I love#Audrey
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WELL
I JUST FOUND SOME STUFF OUT FOR STRANGER THINGS S4 AND I THINK IT MIGHT JUST SUPPORT MY LEADING THEORY ON WHAT WILL HAPPEN THIS SEASON AS WELL AS GIVE ME A BIT MORE THAN I THOUGHT
SPOILERS AHEAD
https://youtu.be/fjGBoO4RceE
youtube
So, i saw this title breakdown and it doesn't offer very much tbh, much less of a breakdown and more of a review, but it did have a couple of actual theory and breakdown bits
#1. it points out that there are mistranslations of episode 3 and episode 9 in the other languages for the title release
#2 it mentions how Dacre is reviving his role of Billy for Dear Billy, but i wont be going into that
im gonna focus on #1 bc this is wild
--
"The Monster and the Superhero" is translated, in the Spanish titles, is translated back to "Monster or Superheroine?" and "The Piggyback" was, in the different title languages, "Stowaway, The Infiltration, The Plan, Eleven's Plan, The Stealth Plan, The Guest, The Host".
As pointed out by Stranger Universe, The Piggyback's translations are way too different and specific (esp Eleven's Plan) to be a normal mistranslation. I feel "The Monster and the Superhero" was translated differently in the Spanish version specifically to let us know these are both intentional "mishaps".
The Monster and the Superhero can't be translated (at least from my knowledge) to Monster or Superheroine? so easily. Maybe The Monster and the Superheroine sure bc the masculine and feminine terms are different by just 1 word (la or el). Changing that+ the "y" to an "o" to make it "or" and changing it to a question is def intentional.
I agree with SU, I thought it might be a Will or El episode, mainly Will, as it originally fit him, but now im almost certain it's an Eleven episode as it is most likely referring to her thinking she was a monster back in season 1.
But that begs the question
Why is this question being asked?
Getting into the Piggyback episode title translations, it's pretty much proven that this might not be the final name of the episode once it releases. SU mentions how they've changed titles before, i dont think this will be any different. My thought is the title will end up being one of the variations of the translations, or something very similar to one of them. These titles make me think of my theory on the Mind Flayer awakening inside Eleven due to the possibility of her being infected, which caused her powers to disappear, her blood to shift, her leg to heal so quickly, and why her world spun the way Billy's did when he first got infected. Also don't forget about Vecna's curse, read up on it from my last post.
I thought this might've happened at the final season but if it happens now im not griping im all for it
So here's the full breakdown/theory with these pieces+the trailer breakdowns:
The season will begin as normal with Mike reading the letter from El, the Byers getting used to their new life in Cali, and everyone else coping with the rest of their stuff. (I wont go into details only the new stuff). The kids+Steve and Robin go visit Victor Creel bc they found out about what happened with him for some reason and he tells them what happened to him. He maybe goes crazy near the end or kills himself (as part of Vecna's curse is the power will fail when the user is at their doom, or he might just be a Nothic;someone seeking archane knowledge, turned into a lifeless husk in loop). Kids+teens go to his house to check it out and find the strange clock(or they just go there without visiting Creel, but it mentions him in a mental hospital so i doubt it), possibly link to the upside down. Reason? IDK we havent gotten that far.
El and Will are vibing at school, maybe some weird things begin happening to make them question if everything's fine. Now in the other seasons, things don't ramp up too much until at least the 3rd episode, so im not sure if the van+car chase+desert scenes would take place in Vecna's Curse or The Monster and the Superhero, considering that seems to be a pretty big part. El will get kidnapped by what I'm guessing is the U.S. CIA. The might have snatched her because she knew she was alive and had to shut down a Gate that either Hawkins officials or the Russians opened, which is the bunker scene where the door in the desert is surrounded by military. The people in the bunker have MP on their arms like some Hawkin's people had (season 1 the guy letting Hopper and his guys into the lab). Military police vs people in military uniform, and military uniform guys broke through the Byers house so im not sure who is the bad guy here.
Mike probably was supposed to visit El to begin their Spring Break stuff that day, as we see him in the trailer when the guys break in and we see him, Will and Argyle in the Pizza van in the desert, possibly going after them. Then El is brought out after they killed all the guys in the bunker, possibly to either be shown as "hey we have the child don't come any closer" to Mike and Will, or to get her in there to shut down the (supposed) Gate. The way she looks in the trailers seems like shes either using her powers or in some great distress, more than usual. That's where my theory comes in about the MF. The MF is weak and dormant due to the Gates' closure, so maybe when she gets near the Gate here, the MF awakens, giving her back her powers and she just obliterates everything, making the helicopter in the scene cause the explosion that someone looking like El is standing in front of in the trailer. The hair is putting me off, as it looks shorter, but from so far away it's hard to tell bc she had a ponytail, but idk i have no idea what's going on there, it could just just a whole different character or El got her head shaved by Dr. Brenner or smth but im really not sure. It is really throwing me off so much and is so irritating
Now less detail, I feel like the titles and these scenes are going into my theory on how El might have to fight with inner (literally) demons and decide if she's a hero or villain. The last few titles referencing Hawkings Lab, Dr. Brenner and having a weird last episode title that is hinting at El maybe becoming a villain is throwing me for a loop here
Maybe in order to gain her powers back, she has to go back to where it began in some way
Maybe it's the influence of the MF, as we know Vecna's Curse is gonna play a role here and having a piece of Vecna in your body gives you power but makes you become pretty much possessed
The last titles saying infiltration or stealth or Eleven's plan or the Host is like??? wow that's a lot
idk what do yall think im losing it rn bc there's just a couple of snags here that's messing my whole theory up
#Youtube#stranger things#stranger things eleven#stranger things hopper#stranger things will#stranger things theory#stranger things 4
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meteorgazing
hello everybody here is an original piece of writing i was kinda proud of bc im trying to post on social media more.
prompt - aliens receive signals from Us (as in the US)
they are from proxima b and i will give more worldbuilding info if yall interested ok here we go :’)
--
one - meteorgazing
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notes -
opi - (two earth days)
rings - (eleven earth days)
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We get a lot of meteors.
Reason 50678 the surface isn’t safe-- no atmosphere means no pushback. Rocks hurtling from the sky aren’t quite uncommon. There’s not much damage to anything but what they hit. Of course, while it’s scary to watch, it doesn’t do much but cause a roofquake-- a rumbling beginning from the Seeing Dome to the rest of the tunnels. There’s been some incidents, some injuries and some deaths- like everything, it’s something swept away as a horrible- but normal- natural disaster, and most of the time it’s not much more than a little shiver. Really. People in the city at the time tend to gather just to watch. There’s something memorizing about watching a hurtling ball of rock slam into the face of our planet at high speeds while completely ablaze.
Even with the commonplace activity of gathering in the center of the city to watch space rocks fall dangerously close to our Seeing Dome, however, I never thought we would go so far as to make a surface dome just to watch one of the biggest showers yet to date. It was dangerous enough as is-- really, it was-- so I wasn’t particularly interested to watch in any case- yes, a little bit curious about it, but the feeling was quickly stomped out by fear and replaced with a sense of resignation. There was always Holowatch-- a projected hologram from your home holodevice to show you the news-- mostly surface stuff, or from City Twenty, where the biggest political station we had throughout the cluster of cities was placed.
But then there was Ama. Ama, with his bright eyes and his huge grin, practically shivering with excitement as he rushed me in line to get a ticket. We didn’t have enough money for the usual, so he entered us into contests basically any chance he got-- I wasn’t worried, and no way by all the gods would they curse me so much by--
“Elli! I got it-- look, I got two!” Tickets waved in the air for the first ever surface dome built specifically for watching meteor showers in our tunnel, I felt my heart sink as I made eye contact with Ama, beaming more than I had ever seen before.
There was something about Ama and his excitement that just pulled you in and shoved away your rationality. The way he smiled made you feel like you had to do anything to preserve it-- maybe because it was so hard to get him like this, maybe because love blinds you to even the stupidest of ideas. I flattened my sweatshirt against my chest nervously and grinned back, taking my ticket out of his hand. Three rings until disaster and we had free tickets to watch.
For the next three rings, every opi I woke up to a message about strange noises coming from a sector we call Terra, holding a planet that astronomers deemed safest and most habitable for intelligent life like us. Or about giant meteor showers. Or about how rare we are to get huge rocks falling from the sky hurtling at the surface in a desperate attempt to show us the way to our doom and them staying the size they do. And it was adorable, really. Usually it was me, and usually it was seventy messages about something boring from me, and so with a sense of duty I read everything Ama sent and poured as much excitement into a response as I could.
We’re going to die! Screamed my brain, but by the sun god was I dumb enough to be happy to go along with it.
We weren’t the only tunnel with a surface dome ready for the watching, either. City Twenty had the biggest, and far on the other side of the Habitation Line was 9296- the longest lasting surface dome with even a small bit of surface travellers living on it. Of course, they had underground homes to sleep in, but they spent most of their waking hours up on the surface. Everyone knew about it, and Ama swore he wanted to be one of them one day. I wondered how it’d feel to be watching this from there-- normal? Did they see meteor showers all the time? Were they afraid it might hit the dome every time they saw one screeching towards them faster than an Aquatrain? Not for the first time and definitely not for the last, I closed my eyes to sleep before we went up to our tunnel’s first surface dome with only one thought, an absolute certainty: oh my gods, we’re going to die.
When I woke up, I found myself wandering to Ama’s home with an even stronger sense of resignation and a desire to not be alone with it. Immediately upon arrival, I was met with the most excited four-eyed gaze I’ve ever been locked in-- and there it went again, I knew I was going to do this and be just fine with it.
His chatter continued, rising as the time got closer to head up to the surface dome, and often I found myself opening my mouth to share a fact just to keep him going.
“Did you know space tastes like rubusberries?” I heard myself saying, “Do you think the rocks taste like that, too?” He stopped for a moment, frozen on the sidewalk on our way to the train to the surface dome just to stare at me. Bubbling up with laughter, he tossed his head forward in a snort,
“Are you planning to taste the meteor, Elli?” My face heated up in embarrassment, but I bit my tongue and then shot back a response. “Maybe! I mean, it’s good research! A lot of things can be identified through taste!” “Local child just up and dies because they went outside to taste a space-rock.” “At least I’d know if it tasted like rubusberries!”
Rubusberries stayed the topic for a bit longer, the topic clinging to our tongues until it faded away into excited shivering as we stepped in line for the train. It hit me like a solar flare, making me bubble with anticipation that I really was excited, too- I wanted to see it, and I wanted to see Ama see it. The voice screaming ‘we’re going to die!’ finally dulled down to a whisper in the back of my mind.
Hey, at least it’ll be interesting.
Once on the aquatrain, I watched the train-tunnel fill with water as Ama listened to the rest of the train’s quiet, excited chatter. My hands gripped the edges of my seat as I watched it slowly bubble up above my window, bracing myself for the kickback of the train shooting through the water. It was interesting technology, really, but the amount of malfunctions I’d read about had me uneasy every time I was on one. One glance at Ama told me he didn’t as much as I did- if at all- so I bit my tongue and watched as the train suddenly lurched forward, shooting through the water and up towards the surface.
Here we go.
Suddenly, there was a chaotic ball of energy at my shoulder, pressing his hand against the window as we watched ourselves shoot up towards the danger, up towards new experiences and life on the surface yet to come.
“It’s funny we’re going full circle. Surface to underground to surface.” I murmured.
“Now we know what we’re doing. We hadn’t evolved enough before. The sun god knew we’d kill ourselves up there.” He replied simply, and the casual tone of his voice made me choke on laughter.
“Then why are we going up there now?” “To prove him wrong out of spite!” Cheered Ama, leaning over me to press both hands against the window. “Look, there it is!”
Look I did, and like he said, there it was. A giant, metallic door that looked unopenable by any number of Centaurians, and yet it slid open and let the water slosh to the side as the train pressed forward and through it, coming to land and slide against the top of the tunnel as we made our way to the surface dome entrance.
I won’t lie. I screamed.
“Elli. Elli, we’re fine! This is how trains work! Elli!” Climbing the rest of the way to the entrance was much less scary, as there were stairs and stairs are solid and won’t explode under too much water pressure, certainly since there’s no water. A muffled voice boomed over speakers we couldn’t see, giving us directions we couldn’t hear-- and then the crowd started moving, so we followed. Metallic doors that looked a little more manageable by Centaurian hands slid open with a slow, painful screech in front of us- and there it was, above the slope we were climbing: another Seeing Dome. This one above the tunnels.
Ama basically squealed-- and as I was jerked away from the line by excited hands, we pushed our way to the front as Ama stared at the stars above us. Closer than ever now, our feet hit red dust and we looked up to see the sky now only separated by a dome and not red rock all around us. It felt scarily empty-- up here, there were no tall walls or caves all around us. From every angle, there was sky.
“This is literally amazing.” He breathed beside me. “Yeah.” I said back with much less air, absolutely slammed by a feeling of sheer surrealism. You could see so far-- the dark line and the light line, where the heat and cold gods warred from afar. The horizon was much more beautiful in person than in pictures.
“Elli, look!” We were now the only people standing by the entrance, the others wandering to the edges of the Seeing Dome to get a better look. To my absolute dismay, however, what should’ve been the safest spot to stand-- right beside the exit-- was where a small meteor was heading, sending itself straight at us.
Ama watched it with wide eyes. I watched it with a wince. It was beautiful-- it really was, watching them streak the sky, and the surface, and our Safety Dome, but watching it hit with a Clank! still gave me a shiver.
Wait.
Wrinkling my nose as I squinted up at it, I tugged Ama’s hand as my feet began to move on their own. Following it as the burning ball of-- well, whatever it was, slid towards an unoccupied side of the Dome, Ama stumbled behind me. “Elli, where are we going? We’re going to miss the rest of it!” “It shouldn’t have made that noise.” I said back, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Elli, you’re nuts.” “It was metallic. It clanked. Ama, it clanked. That’s not a meteor. That’s something someone made.”
And suddenly we were both speeding towards it, Ama whooping and me with my head spinning, stumbling and hitting the side of the dome as we stared down at a mess of melted metal and a white substance bearing a strange, rectangular logo-- red stripes and a blue corner, with what looked like misshapen stars decorating the blue bit. Strange text in bold letters sat above it, smeared and burnt as the capsule remained aflame.
“ALIENS!” Ama shrieked, jumping up and down. He punched my shoulder. “Take that, everybody! ALIENS!!!”
We weren’t the only ones who found something.
Holowatch was projected all over the city as capsules popped up all over the planet. 9296 got two. City Twenty got one. Another surface dome found half of one. Cities were rushing to build more or get Centaurians on the surface to find more. They came with garbled audio-- messages we couldn’t understand. But what sent everyone reeling was the one we found-- it was the sound of another animal, not the intelligent life that kept trying to talk to us. Something big-- something that sounded like our own creatures, a series of clicks, whistles and pulsed calls. Biologists rushed to identify it-- but it was soon determined not to be one of our own, just something close. It was big, most likely lived underwater, but used the same noises ours did to get around-- they used sound for navigation.
There was no doubt about it, there was life on Terran.
“We discovered aliens.” Ama wouldn’t stop saying. “Not us.” “We found it first!” “9296 found theirs thirty-two blinks before we found ours.”
“Second! We discovered aliens second!” “...Fine. Second.” “Aliens, Elli!”
“I hear you, Ama.” I said with fake exasperation, watching him pace around his room.
“We found it. We should get to see what they do with it.” “We are literally children, they weren’t going to let us help.” I said slowly, eyeing him suspiciously as he stopped walking across the room. He looked up at me and grinned.
“Am-- no. No, absolutely not. Whatever you’re thinking is a big, fat, nope.”
He continued grinning, taking a step towards me as his expression melted into something akin to affection mixed with excitement. The mischief was there-- I could see it. Feel it. But rationality slipped away as he grabbed my shoulder. “Let’s just try to sneak around. It’s not like we’ll even get anywhere with it!”
I let out a heavy sigh as I quietly threw my life into ruin. I unleash the sun god upon you, aliens. Why do you do this to me?
“...Fine.”
#proxima b#aliens#original writing#scifi#original story#writing#story#aliens get signals from us#proxima centauri#proxima centauri fic#life on other planets#space#short story#my story#stories about space#idk what tags to use#writing prompt#story 1#short stories#idk what to tag this as#or what im doing#i hope somebody likes this tho
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tagged by @darthsidious technically bc im in the nets she tagged and tbh i jump at the chance to do these things ily babe
bold what applies to you
SOFT.
baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | cute stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night |
DARK ACADEMIA.
neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story |
EDGY.
closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing but not doing it | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks | (i’m not kidding this is ME i do all of this)
70s.
colorful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to abba | flowers in your hair | DIYing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding |
PREPPY CASUAL.
collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colourful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairylights | cursive and neat handwriting |
ROMANTIC GHOST.
lace details | a lot of crying | old vinyl on a record player | curling up with a book on rainy afternoons | caring intensely about just a few people | delicate pendants | old b&w photo albums with cursive captions | feeling invisible | lurking in the attic | moonlight | period drama enthusiast | but also rom coms | candlelit dinners | velvet armchairs | pearls | feeling sad that no one throws balls with like actual dancing anymore | probably hates tiktok | so soft when you get to know them | but can seem scary at first | a weird affinity with cats
tagging: i don’t care do it if u want
(also i promise u my wardrobe is as fucked as it sounds)
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Ooohh! For the prompts, can you please do 85 or 88 with Buttercup and Butch??
85) “Could you come get me?”
Pairing: Butch x Buttercup (Greens/ Butchercup)
Fandom: PPG
I really need to right more Greens. (the next few asks are greens so yall are getting the goods) I really hope you enjoy this because I had fun writing it and its short and cute and angsty and soft and i was butch and bc to love each other forever
requests/asks always open :) ---
The door to his apartment slammed shut. His temper was spiked high and Boomer looked up from his guitar with concern while Brick simply cocked an eyebrow and went back to his video game.
Butch was angry. No furious, no full of rage, whatever synonym that was formed was processing through his body as he shook with a violent tone. The poor orange juice bottle didn’t stand a chance and soon his wrist was in a tight hold by his notorious leader.
“Chill.” Was all Brick said with a cold and deadly tone. He took the bottle from his brother who looked like he was about to burst with even a poke and poured him a glass and sent him to his room. He was not a fucking child! but he had orange juice now, so it was whatever.
He slammed his door shut, Boomer yelled but he couldn’t care. Taking the juice down in one gulp, he carefully placed the glass on his desk because the last thing he needed was to break something and have Brick in his face. He had just healed from last month's brutal brawl and he didn’t need more scars from Brick's fist, not now at least.
He paced around his room. His thought went berserk in his head and he wanted them to stop.
God he was an idiot. How could he do that? How could he ruin the only good thing he had.
He slunk down against his wall until he hit the floor and just sat there with a shaking head and a bitter laugh.
“You fucking did it now Butch.” He said bitterly.
He fucked up big time. This wasn’t some simple and stupid fight that he could come back from, no, he really ruined their friendship. For what? for something else? Pathetic. He should just go back to stealing but that would mean more of them. He wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole, destroy him too if it meant it would get rid of the heavy feeling.
He almost didn’t notice his door opening to his younger brother. He couldn’t care either. Instead his eyes stayed in one place on the carpet until his brother sat down and took away his view.
“Hey bro.” Boomer said softly. Butch’s leg only bounced as Boomer handed him some water. “Wanna tell me what happened?”
“Nothing.” he tried to say with fire but it died in his throat. He hated that his brother could see him at his weakest points but that's what he always liked about them. Boomer may have been deemed “dumber than the dumbest '' and everything in between but he had a merit of compassion that neither of the boys possessed, at least not as much.
Boomer laughed a little before rolling his eyes. “Yeah well I’ve never seen you this upset.”
“Im always angry.”
“Mmm no not really. You may be ready to punch and fight at any given moment but that look in your eyes and your body movement, you’re upset. Plus Brick is always angry, you have calmed down over the years.”
He stayed silent. Sure maybe he didn’t have the same anger as the red ruff but he wasn’t cheerful like Boomer, maybe he was more content. Fuck, he was turning soft.
“So tell me what's up.”
Butch frown deepened as he drank the rest of his water. “I kissed her.”
“Who?” Boomer asked.
“Who do you think?” He spat and the look of confusion didn’t leave his face.
“Kelly?”
“No.”
“Ashley?”
“God no.”
“Molly-”
“BUTTERCUP. I KISSED BUTTERCUP!” He shouted and instantly stopped when Boomers eyes widened. He can’t remember the last time he cried. When he felt the hot tears on his face but the sensation building up in his chest as the tears came was too much.
“You kissed-but she has a boyfriend?”
“You don’t think I know that?” He yelled again and this time his head began to pound.
“Why?” The blond asked and he looked up through blurred eyes.
Why?
-- Earlier that day--
“Wanna hit the skate park?” He asked as he grabbed his backpack from the sidelines of the basketball court. Buttercup shook her head as she looked to the sky.
“Not today, it's gonna rain and uh, i have plans.” She said the last part quietly.
He only rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Let me guess, with Alex?”
She punched his arm lightly as she picked up her own stuff. They felt the beginning of the rain drops fall on to their heads but didn’t make a rush to move. “Yeah and?” She knew he wasn’t a fan of Alex.
She doesn’t know why. Alex was nice. He didn’t play sports, or like horror movies, or really anything Buttercup liked but he was...nice. They had only been together for two months and Butch hated every moment of it.
“And? You’re blowing me off for a dude who can’t even kick a ball straight.”
She huffed, not this again. “Butch you don’t have to like him.”
“I don’t” She didn’t know why it stung. Her sisters liked him, he was more of Bubbles' friend anyways. Bubbles got them together and it was fine. But Blossom was skeptical, almost like she didn’t approve for some reason.
“We are gonna hang out on Friday for movie night so what's the big deal?” She asked. The rain was now coming down harder but his feet stayed glued to his spot. She could see a tense look in his eye as if he were debating what to say next.
“Forget it. Have fun.” He tried to turn away but she caught his wrist.
“He’s nice.” She tried to convince him and maybe herself too.
He let out a bitter laugh before stepping closer to her.
“You’re too good for him.” He whispered in her ear. It was the truth and they both knew it. “You know he’s only with you for the title, don’t do that to yourself.” The rain was now pouring on them. Soaking into their clothes and if they were fully normal, they would be shivering but instead their skin burned like fire.
“Butch, please don’t.” She gulped. “Please I need my friend.” It wasn’t convincing.
“You and I both know that’s not true.”
“It doesn’t matter.” She tried to reason but she was losing and he was inching closer. She should have hit him. Told him to stop and that she just wanted her best friend by her side. But that was all a lie. One that she had been saying to herself for months.
“You know that I can treat you so much better. He doesn’t understand you, he never will. Face it BC, you and I aren’t just counterparts. We are one in the same and I get you. Please.” His voice above a whisper as his lips connected with hers.
He felt her tense up. He shouldn’t be doing this. She had a boyfriend. A lousy and lame boyfriend who couldn’t ever treat her how she deserves. She was a walking goddess among these mortals and he knew that. She was dark and devious but in a pleasing way and he wanted nothing more than to call her his.
She fell into his kiss. Pulling at his collar as she screamed at herself for doing this. But it felt so right and so good. they fit like puzzle pieces, as cliche as it sounded, it was true. She had never felt the spark or fireworks people say when you kiss someone. But right now it was an explosion of lust and comfort, and she knew only he could ever make her feel that way.
They pulled a part as their breaths felt heavy and their foreheads touched. He expected a punch to the gut or even a slap to face. He deserved it after all. But she didn’t and she hated that she didn’t.
“I have to go.” She said as she looked away.
“Hey.” he tugged at her fingers lightly. “I don’t care. But I’m going to be there for you.” He turned his own head the other direction as she flew away. His chest felt heavy and his teeth sunk into his bottom lip as blood touched his tongue.
He felt it in his system. The guilt and the dread. Mojo taught them not to feel any of that, they were villains after all. He saw the fade of the neon green streak and without thinking, he turned on his heel and walked away. A near by tree blasted to pieces as smoke burned from his hand and he never wanted to see this stupid place again.
--
And now he was here. Soaking wet while tears spilled from his eyes and his little brother looked at him with pity. He hated that dude. Hated how he would look at other girls in the hallways while he had the best one on his arm. Hated how he hadn’t bothered to show up to any of her games and cheer her on. Hated that he told Butch that he won.
He gripped his fists and finally stood up, Boomer helping him from toppling over and he doesn’t remember his shirt being off but now he was pushed towards the shower and his brother telling him not to get sick. He let the water run over him as he tried to get rid of all those thoughts.
He could be mad all he wanted but he shouldn’t have kissed her. No matter how stupid Alex was, he didn’t want BC to be seen as a cheater, it was his fault. Before long he was now out of the shower, warm and clean but he starred in the mirror and hated how his eyes were puffy.
He didn't bother combing his hair or doing anything and just wanted to go to sleep, even though it was only 8 pm. By the time he flopped onto his bed and grabbed his phone, he saw three missed calls. All from Buttercup.
“Fuck.” It was probably her screaming how he ruined their relationship and that she never wanted to see him again. He would understand. He didn’t want to press the button to call her back, he wanted to savor what was left of their friendship but on the first ring she picked up.
“Buttercup before you yell I just need you to know-”
“Could you come get me?” Her voice was like a meek squeak through the phone and he wasn't sure if he heard her right.
“What?” He heard her sniffle as if she was crying.
“Butch please. You-you were right.”
He hung up.
--
She heard the phone line go dead and sat on the sidewalk with tears in her eyes. She was stupid. So incredibly stupid for thinking that Alex was nice. She knew it all along and for what? What was she trying to prove?
Her head was in between her knees as she sob. She just wanted her best friend but that was gone now.
“BC?” she lifted her head and saw him through blurry tears. She wiped her face with her sleeve but it didn’t matter since the rain was pouring down. “What the hell did he do to you?” His tone is now sour.
She held her hands up. “Guess he forgot I was coming over and when I got there, that bitch from English, she was. And they were-” She choked out a sob before she felt him pull her to his chest. She wrapped her arms around them and tugged at his shirt, hoping that he wouldn't go away. “You were right and im just some stupid fucking girl who-”
“You’re not stupid.” He stopped her and pulled away so that he could look at her. “He is a piece of shit for not treating you right. And an even bigger shit for sleeping around, fucker.”
“Two months.” She whispered. “He was with her for the entire time.”
He thought the anger he felt before was his limit but now he was seething. He had lied and cheated on her for the entirety of their relationship and now he didn’t even feel bad for kissing her. Instead of bolting up and going to find him, he just hugged her.
“I'm sorry.”
“Buttercup you don’t have to apologize.”
“I only dated him because of you.” her voice was quiet.
He furrowed his eyebrows and she let out a deep breath.
“I was afraid to be with you because I didn’t want anything to change. I wouldn’t forgive myself, so I thought if i had a distraction, i could keep those feelings down.” She bit back a small laugh. “And we see how that turned out.”
She looked at him and he was silent. She laughed a little and he tilted his head. “We are so stupid.” She smiled before rolling her eyes and pulling him into a kiss. He had been on his knees as she was sitting down and now due to the force of the pull. He was leaning over her with a hand behind them keeping him from toppling over her.
He embraced the kiss and she cupped one of his cheeks with her hand. It was an awkward position but he couldn’t care as he was too focused on kissing the most amazing girl he had ever met. They pulled apart and before he fell over, he moved so he was sitting next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder.
“I don’t think anything would change.” He stated and she hummed.
“Really.”
“Nah, we are both too stubborn for that shit. I wouldn’t give us up in any way.” She cracked a smile and the rain had lightened up. “So... what do you say. Babe?” He laughed as he held out his hand and she looked at it before placing her hand in his and pressing her lips quickly to his cheek.
“Game on.”
And this time when he kissed her lips, it was slow and just right.
--
hope you enjoyed!!!
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S1E1: The Competition Begins
okie dokie first ever episode of dance moms rewatch starts now :0 i actually remember watching this the very first time it aired on lifetime because i was channel surfing and saw a commercial for it earlier that day. that was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. ah memories... i didnt know what to expect because i did dance when i was a kid but not on a competition team and it was mostly ballet so i was pretty unfamiliar with this whole world.
anyway lets begin. this is probably gonna be a longer post than what i’ll end up writing for the other episodes in season 1 bc the first episode introduces so much info, just a heads up
Act 1: (aside: yes its insufferable to divide this into “acts” when its really just like “segments separated by commercial breaks” but thats how they’re called in actual tv scripts so im just going with that cuz i cant think of a better/easier way uwu)
god this is so fucking early 2010s lmao
i miss these days where they were just talented nobodies from pittsburgh on a low budget reality tv show that nobody even knew would be successful. and the bad hair and makeup but idk if that was also just a 2011 thing lol
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES GREEN SCREEN INTROS IM DYING
the chalkboard !!!! they werent doing the pyramid on the mirror yet
(apparently abby never did anything similar to the pyramid thing but the producers made her and it became a whole Thing on the show and thats why the moms were like wtf is this bullshit the first week)
mackenzie looks like a toddler. chloe is so tiny. theyre the 2 who changed the most physically over the course of the show
i remember watching this for the first time being used to ballet lyrical and jazz but never having done or really seen acro/gymnastics in dance choreo and being SO flabbergasted. i was thinking “a chin stand is not dancing what the actual hell” and yknow what? i was right
melissa: “my boyfriend knows how much i spend on dance because he signs the checks...............hermehhemrherrmehermh” (the most awkward laugh omg)
maddie is wearing a fucking bumpit in her hair i cannot
melissa deadass just said out loud “im here for my daughter im not here to make friends” ok everybody mark that one off on your catty women’s reality tv show bingo card!
camera man accidentally getting in the shot filming right in front of the huge wall-mirror.... what is this, amateur hour? i’ll let it slide since its the first day of filming rehearsal but step it up, boys
aw i forgot about maddie getting sick and crying :/ poor kid
melissa saying “i cant stand a chid that’s sick” sounds so edited like the intonation made it seem to me like they just cut her off mid-sentence i love lifetime
oh this was still when they were wearing normal stuff to class/rehearsal like black leotards bc they werent getting sent a trillion crazy 2-piece dancewear outfits for free yet bc they werent famous, man those were the days
Act 2:
[obligatory b-roll footage of downtown pittsburgh]
the maddie chloe paige trio !!!! this is making me feel so nostalgic
“knees together, paige. you’re bow-legged, you need to fix that”
“you’re tall, you’re skinny, you’re a beautiful girl, you can do better than this. FOCUS” shes like 10 abby what the hell
“people think im tough and i guess i am but i would rather be the one to make your kid cry in the privacy of my studio than at an open-call audition in front of hundreds of people”
okay unpopular opinion alert: i agree with a lot of what abby says about stuff like this but her delivery is flawed, to but it euphemistically, that being said i think the production team of the show and the fame inflating her ego changed all of this somewhere over the course of the second season and its really sad to see :/ i can expand on that thought later tho
aw paige crying bc abby correcting her (but not saying anything personal or out of line, just technique corrections (at based on what we were shown, we dont know everything she said oop)) shes a sensitive kid she never should have been put on this show :(
paige looks exactly like her mom i didnt realize that before
nia and holly were done so dirty throughout the whole series in terms of the narrative the producers set up about nia being the weakest link :/
Act 3:
cathy’s entire involvement in the show from the very beginning was so painfully obviously scripted (or at least heavily staged)
vivi was also done dirty by the show’s narrative and she was only 6 and they presented her as like the butt of the joke bc her mom’s “character” was crazy and also she wasnt good at dance. i wonder how she feels about the show now that shes a teenager hmm. she really seemed not to give a fuck about dance for better or for worse when she was a kid tho so maybe she doesnt care ?
in what universe would an owner of another competitive dance studio bring her own kid to another studio more than an hour’s drive away, AND be under the impression that she could compete with them in a week, especially when they showed the kids’ and moms’ shocked reaction at the start of the episode to having to learn a dance in a week and compete it? like really what is the point of cathy and vivi being a part of this show im so ????
Act 4:
THE MINISTER DAWN OUTBURST HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS
this fight is about 50% of what got them a full season 1 and then things took off from there tbh. the other 50% was the electricity dance but thats a point for next episode..... :)
“you’re a minister act like one” “YOU’RE RIGHT I AM A MINISTER! LET’S PLAY THE BIBLE GAME ABBY, WHEN JESUS SAW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG HE WENT AFTER THEM, AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO MY KID” ma’am i think the wrongs jesus addressed were of slightly more importance than a preteen being told she cant take a dance class if shes violating the studio’s dress code
this is so good bc it wasnt staged afaik and there are regular students all throughout the building just STARING at them like lmao what even is going on, so im pretty sure this is real???
regardless, yeah dont wear socks and a tshirt to an acrobatics class, thats common fucking sense
another cameraman-in-mirror sighting, but its hard to think about angles when filming spontaneous drama like this, so i wont count it against them
“you called me fat” (i remember that being in the episode but thats not on the episode available through lifetime on demand that im watching from my moms tv hmmmmmm) “i told you to close and tuck in your two-piece costume, theres a big difference. HOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU CAN’T REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR FEET OUT” uh scream
she really called the police on this woman i cannot handle this. can you imagine being a police officer responding to this call?
“we have a parent thats out of control. pardon? no shes doesnt have weapons, just her mouth” iconic
im sorry im still not over the hair and makeup. the flat hair with the side bangs. the black pencil eyeliner applied all the way around the eye. why did any of us think this was a look :( why did we do this :(
Act 5:
they went all the way to phoenix to compete 3 numbers, only 2 of which are shown in the episode.
i think this is the only time they ever went to west coast dance explosion because its an actual competition and they wouldnt allow filming after this lol i think they did go to wcde one weekend in addition to a competition where they were filming but it wasnt shown or mentioned at all
abby not wanting brooke and paige to have a french manicure on stage if theyre the only ones in the group with the french tips is perfectly valid idk why it was framed as some crazy micromanaging shit
i also am really not a fan of the whole “high functioning alcoholic wine mom/crazy stage mom” schtick they were pushing for the first few episodes of this show
in retrospect i feel like so many of the quips in this episode were intentionally fucking crazy just to get the audience engaged enough to want to watch more episodes...
“see those girls down there, those girls with the legs? thats who you’re up against, so step it up”
abby warning them that its dangerous for their little party hats to slip when they’re doing aerials and pirouettes and stuff: “what if you were at radio city music hall and they had the ice rink out and you were doing a side aerial and fell 13 stories down and died, huh?” fantastic point abby thank you for saying that to 5 girls ages 8-12 less than 5 minutes before they went on stage. perfect time for a teaching moment like that :)
i forgot how bad the camera work was in the first few episodes for footage of their performances. like they really didnt think the show’s audience would actually want to watch the kids dance, the producers and editors thought we just wanted to see stage mothers yelling at each other lol
also the mic feed over the music of abby talking to herself giving them corrections while watching them dance on stage.... im so glad they quit doing that. i dont remember them doing it like that for any other episode, i hope im right
this choreo is very basic and its a cute dance i guess but its very cringe in some places and for the first episode this is such a forgettable group routine
their scandalized reaction to placing third and the sad piano music is so funny honestly
and maddies reaction in the interview which was almost definitely fed to her by the producers where shes like “i win all the time i dont really know what its like to LOSE i always win or get runner up” so many of maddies lines from season 1 interviews sound so fake and she was probably too naive to know they were getting her to say that stuff so they could paint her as a conceited brat (she was EIGHT)
the trio costume was so ugly im sorry (is it supposed to be like a 50s pinup bathing suit?) (and the headband thing looks so bad) and also the music is bad but they had no real authority over that bc of copyright stuff
chloe’s headpiece coming forward and the ensuing drama was another moment in the episode that really solidified public interest in the show imho....
“YOU’RE IN THE BAR HAVING A DRINK AND YOUR KID’S HEADPIECE IS FALLING OFF” “it did not FALL OFF it CAME FORWARD it was FINE!!!”
“mistakes happen, we’re human.” “YOU are. mistakes like that dont happen to me”
and then the “next time on dance moms” with the WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE electricity dance, of course. genuinely that was really smart of the producers in terms of structuring things to generate intrigue lol. and obviously it ended up working....
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