#proxima centauri fic

[pirateprincessblog]

cosmos

18+ nsfw content ahead, approach with caution. if a minor, I ask you to not interact.

🌌𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫.: centuries ago, humans detected a signal from an asteroid with a collision probability of 1-in-1,200. unwilling to gamble with humanity's future, they decided to evacuate. thus, kang yeosang finds himself aboard a spaceship, nestled in a sleeping pod among thousands of other slumbering passengers. the destination appears distant, and everyone remains asleep. just why is the young man awake then? ☄️𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: kang yeosang x f!reader ☄️𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 17.7k ☄️𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, space travelers, space themes, plot twist, smut with plot ☄️𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: masturbation, voyeurism, praise kink, hair pulling, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, fingering, choking, hair pulling, oral (both receiving), multiple orgasms, biting, marking ☄️𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: Interstellar Main Theme (extended version)

🌠𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing, light violence, existential crisis (me lol), depressing themes, mentions of death, slight blo0d (like two drops), mentions of substances 🌠𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: inspired by passengers (2016), i absolutely adore space, i am so in love with it, to the point it scares me how beautiful, enormous and unpredictable it is. i gave my all to this fic, kinda put myself in it, so please do not hesitate to leave a feedback <3 each word means the world to me!

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.

"calculating remaining travel time... xjlsdja23ky324xii... updated."

"come on, you piece of shit."

"updated estimated time to reach proxima centauri b is nine hundred and twenty eight years, six days and seven minutes."

"fuck!" the man hits the screen with his fist, but the numbers don't budge. "what the fuck?!"

if the man's relatives and friends were awake around him at this moment, they would've been shocked. kang yeosang never swore, nor did he ever strike anyone or anything. him losing his temper is something that only ever happened once, at the entrance of the very ship he stands in. the captain wanted to separate his mother from his family, claiming there is no space for her and that they have reached the traveler limit. she is the last to board, they said, you'll wait for the next one. yeosang stepped down, letting his mother take his space, and said his tearful goodbyes before clearing the way for the captain and the stewards to close the doors.

however, they did not. instead, they waved their hand towards a group of people, keeping the door open for them. yeosang watched with his jaw dropped as a family of five rushed to the doors, dragging their designer luggage, wheels scratching the uneven concrete floor and making the man's ears bleed. blood boils inside his body, and his mother noticed the popped vein on his forehead from the window. before she can make it to the door to stop him, yeosang throws himself at the captain, hate, cussing and violence taking over his body.

once the stewards separated them and his mother's face appeared in front of him, he realized his mistake. the older man seized the woman by her elbow, then shoves her down the silver stairs. the sound of groans and thumps still echo in yeosang's ears, accompanied by the distant rumble of the luggage wheels that had triggered his reaction.

"you want to get on the ship so bad? go!"

he is forced inside the ship, and moved away from the doors so they can close them. through the window, he looks at his tearful and hurt mother through his own blurry eyes, heart ripping apart at the sight. i'll be fine, she keeps mouthing, forcing a smile.

they say the next ship will be ready soon, but after this, how can he trust anyone? besides, the ship could be ready next week, or next year. the danger is inching closer with each day that passes, increasing in speed and destroying everything in its path, until it eventually collides with the green planet, destroying both in the process. if they survive the impact, they will die of starvation. yeosang's heart clenches at the thought. he didn't want his mother to await certain death on this planet. he didn't want her to eat dust and dig for food in the ashes of those who stayed, willingly or forcefully.

but that might just be the price for his actions. yeosang sobs against the window, clawing at it. his lungs hurt, a new realization hitting him with each second that passes and sending him into another fit of wailing. a soft smile on her face is the last thing the man sees before he is pulled away from the window. he recognizes his sister's voice comforting him, even though she is in as much pain as him.

now, yeosang stands before the screen, its numbers blurred by fresh tears of sadness and anger. he walks over to his sleeping pod, eyes examining it and brain struggling to understand what went wrong. he lays inside once again, then closes the glass door. the white sheets are still warm and as uncomfortable as the first time he laid there. nothing changes, no sound is heard, no matter how long he lays there. he isn't stupid, he knows that the buttons on the outer shell need to be pressed in order for him to go into hibernation again. but maybe, just maybe, a miracle happens.

an hour, a nap, and no miracles later, yeosang is awake again. he sighs, chest swelling with sadness and pain once more. not only did he abandon his mother, but he is going to face his end alone too. the blonde man glances at the nearby pods; his sister, grandfather, and a few family friends all peacefully awaiting the end of the long voyage. hundreds of pods are lined up in the room, each person inside it dressed the same, stripped of any makeup, piercings, and earthly clothes, instead dressed in simple white silk sleepwear. from the richest to the poorest, they all share the same fate now; a plain sleeping pod, with no designer marks or gold pleating, barefoot, barefaced, and a desire to keep living. he is so close to them, yet so far. surrounded, but isolated.

until he hears a crash outside the hibernation room.

his bare feet tap against the cold white tiles as he follows the echo of the noise, heart thumping with fear and hope. is he not alone?

yeosang finally exits the hibernation room, eyes failing to catch an empty pod near the exit. he finds himself standing in the middle of what looked like a lobby. the pale colour of the walls hurt his eyes, along with a big number of white led lights scattered on the ceiling. on the first glance, it looked simple. once yeosang's eyes got used to the light, he noticed a great willow tree in the middle of the room. it is surrounded by a few wooden benches, all facing it. a long table follows the curved walls, decorated with plants of all sorts, protected by glass.

he does not speak just yet, instead he further examines the room. all the windows are shut, and yeosang doesn't think to approach one and remove the shade. he continues the path through the door closest to the one of the hibernation room, not knowing what to hope for. is he alone, or is he not? both possibilities are equally terrifying. if yes, what was the noise? if not, what could he expect from the person that was also awake for some reason?

yeosang seems to have entered a tube that served as a hallway, the walls curved and decorated with thin led stripes. yeosang's eyes shine under the lights, like a baby's on their first christmas. the hallway leads him into a somewhat warmer decorated room, soft yellow lights a contrast to the previous strong white ones. he raises an eyebrow as he takes in the space. it looks like a restaurant, with a bar fully stocked. there aren't many tables, all of them made to fit up to four people.

they are simply decorated, with a single electric candle in the middle. the chairs are all neatly tucked in, except one. the man carefully approaches the table, fingers hesitantly grazing the plush backrest. it is a deep green colour, the velvet material soft under yeosang's fingertips. the seat itself has an imprint, and yeosang's heart seems to stop for a moment. he raises his head abruptly, and his eyes lock with another pair.

he steps back, breath caught in his throat. the figure gasps too, eyes widening, before her legs carry her outside the restaurant and into another room. the man stays still, unsure if he should follow. what if it is a trap? for his misbehaviour? what should he do anyway? hide around the ship until the end of his life? could be tricky, but the ship is enormous. with an equally enormous luck, he might just make it.

his eyes catch a few items on the table; an opened book, a marker, cup of brown liquid and a broken necklace. on the floor is a shattered glass, probably the crash he heard. he takes the book in his hands, making sure to remember the page before closing it to view the title. it looks like a steamy romance, and when he goes through a few pages, he has to set it down before his attention shifts to something else.

"good evening, sir. ready to order?"

yeosang jumps, dropping the just acquired blue marker on the table. the voice is robotic, yet the face is human. it is an older man, with wheels instead of feet. his hands look human too, holding a tray with a single glass of water on it. it is when yeosang takes a sip that he realizes just how parched he was. he downs the glass, a few drops escaping and rolling down his chin and neck.

"what are you?" he finally speaks.

"i am a human made robot, created to be at your service during your stay at the ship. would you like to sit and take a look at the menu?"

yeosang sits down on the other chair, curiosity taking over him. shortly after, a thin menu is handed to him. it has a few usual choices, and a few more fancy ones. his stomach grumbles as he reads the ingredients of a certain dish, mouth almost watering when he sees the picture of it on the next page. but he has other things to worry about.

"made for our service, right?"

"indeed, sir."

"then, can you activate my pod again?"

"oh, sorry sir. that is beyond my program."

the blonde haired man sighs, dropping the menu on the table. he intertwines his fingers and rests his elbows on the edge of the table, his chin on top of his hands. he looks at the robot's smiley face, and then scoffs.

"it's just a few buttons."

"i'm sorry sir, but-"

"you're programmed to make dozens of cocktails, but not to press a few buttons?" he raises his voice, annoyed with the situation.

"it is dangerous, sir. i cannot just press any buttons, there is a whole procedure. your pod might implode, and you might endanger other pods, even the ship itself."

"bullshit."

"perhaps the young lady can help."

yeosang follows the robot's gaze, and his eyes lock with those from moments ago again. a female figure stands at the doors where she once disappeared, with no emotion on her face. at first, yeosang thinks that it is another robot. but all of her seems human enough.

"i'll be at the bar if you need me." with that, the robot slides behind the bar, busying himself with cleaning.

the girl approaches, carefully. when she reaches her once abandoned table, she slowly smiles. the look on the man's face makes her smile fade quickly, pure anger written all over his features.

"you." he says through gritted teeth.

"uh... hi. my name is-" she holds her hand out as a greeting, ignoring the sudden hostile demeanor.

"i don't want to know your fucking name."

"w-what?"

yeosang replays the image of the captain pushing him out of the way, only to invite a whole family inside after he said there is no more space left. he saw you, carrying that foolish designer bag over your shoulder, the weight of it pulling your body to the side. he remembers locking eyes with you for a split second, just before he went berserk on the captain. you looked like you hadn't worked a single day in your life, and like your world was only flowers and waterfalls.

"you're holding me accountable for your mom, aren't you?"

"do not talk about my mother."

"you know, before assuming something, you should try thinking a bit harder. how do you-"

"i don't have to- no, i don't want to think harder. you rich bastards waltz in here like it's nothing while us poor people have to scrape every corner of our house for the last penny to get a chance for a ticket." he stands from the chair abruptly, making it fall on the floor and you flinch.

tears gather in your eyes, and you feel frustrated that you cannot control it. why do you always have to cry, no matter the emotion? who cries from anger, for god's sake?

"oh, no no. you do not get to cry. that is my mother that stayed down there, and-"

"you think i just waltzed in here? just like that? you think i didn't pay for my own goddamn ticket? you think they let us in just because of our status and wealth?"

"you paid for your ticket? who told you that, your daddy?"

you stay silent for a moment, before confirming. yeosang laughs sarcastically, offending you even more.

"right." he scoffs.

"you think he would lie to me?"

"did you see the tickets? do you know what they look like? how much they cost? where they're taking us? do you even know where you are going? tell me any of these things, and i'll believe you."

you sit down, staring at the broken necklace. you did not know any of those things. you did ask your father to show you the tickets multiple times, you were excited. but he delayed it, even at the entrance, he didn't have to show it to the captain.

"that's what i thought."

"but... why would they let us board?"

"because your daddy is an important minister. you should try thinking a bit harder." he repeats your sentence from earlier.

you sit still, anger stirring inside of you. anger no longer directed at the gorgeous man, but at your family. your father specifically. the stranger picks up the chair, then sits on it. he sighs, shoving his face in his hands.

"what happened to your pod?" he asks, not yet looking at you.

"i don't know. i suddenly woke up, couldn't breathe, and had to break the glass to get out. next thing i know, it had smoke coming out of it so i pressed a bunch of buttons until the thing shut down completely. what about yours?"

yeosang removed his hands from his face, finally looking at you properly. he feels his ears and cheeks warm up, noticing just how beautiful you are. he looks at your book instead, unable to maintain eye-contact.

"no difficulty with breathing as far as i remember. i woke up like i did on earth every day, and it felt natural too. the lid was open, no smoke or cracks. the digital board seemed normal, the vitals still showing up until i had to rip the cables from my wrists." yeosang looks down on his hands, remembering how gently he yanked those tubes from his flesh. "then i was confused as to why i was the only one awake. i went to the main screen in the hibernation room, might've hit it, and then heard a crash. you, assuming?"

"yeah. i knocked it over while trying to fix the stupid necklace."

yeosang nods, eyeing the necklace that now rests in your fingers. it has a simple butterfly pendant, and yeosang fights the urge to ask if it holds any meaning.

"how long have you been awake?"

"about three weeks."

"it doesn't sound like a lot, but when you're alone, assuming it feels like three months?"

you laugh, "more like three years."

"have you tried sending a message back to earth?"

you frown, remembering all the video and voice messages you have sent the first day you woke up and met your new fate. you abused the poor system, sending a tearful plea for help almost every hour.

"i have."

"and?"

"it takes approximately nineteen years for them to receive it, and more than nineteen for me to receive the reply, depends on the speed we are moving at. in that time, the asteroid is expected to strike. they'll have it worse than i do, so i am at least grateful that i get to live to an old age. hopefully."

silence envelops both of you for a while. he seems to be thinking, eyes squinted and nose scrunched cutely.

"do you think... you can try activating my pod again?"

he sees your smile fade. must be horrible to be all alone, especially knowing that you won't reach the set destination. nine hundred years is a long time after all. barely any human lives past a hundred.

"i can try."

yeosang beams, excitedly standing up. he misses the way your eyes become glossy again, tears threatening to spill any moment. you trail behind him, using the chance to examine him. he is taller than you, with soft blonde hair that falls over his almond eyes, and bright skin. he looks like a prince, more beautiful than any man you've been with or had a crush on. he looks over his shoulder, checking to see if you're following him. his eyes are a warm chestnut brown, and his lips a pretty pink shade. you're jealous of his cheekbones and lashes.

soon enough you stand in front of his hibernation pod, the lid opened and the sheets inviting, no matter how uncomfortable.

"right, then. lay down." you say with a heavy heart.

he wastes no time, laying in the pod with his eyes closed and rolling up his sleeves. you take the discarded tubes, poking the tiny needles back below his wounded flesh and taping them back together. he closes his eyes, and his lips twitch in a smile. you bite the inside of your cheek, wishing for nothing more than for all of this to fail.

you're horrible, yes. but if you have to spend another day alone here, you might just toss yourself out in space without a suit on and die. robots are a good company only for a limited amount of time, before their answers start becoming repetitive and predictable.

"you never told me your name." you mumble, getting ready to close the clear lid.

"yeosang." he says, opening one eye to look at you. "yours?"

"y/n."

"beautiful." he compliments.

"bye, yeosang. i hope a better life awaits you." you say before your voice starts cracking, and a tear escapes your eye.

"bye, y/n." the man says his final words before closing his eyes again and relaxing.

you close the lid, then make sure his vitals are showing on the tiny screen. once everything seems ready, you follow the steps on the screen, pushing the buttons in the right order, until it asks for an authorization code.

"shit."

he seems to hear it, because he opens his eyes to look at you with his eyebrow raised. "what?"

"uh, i'll be right back. i just need the authorization code."

"oh. alright, i hope you find it."

"it should be on the main screen."

after a long time of fooling around on the screen, you do not find the code. if you were to start guessing, you wouldn't know where to start. the keypad offers both numbers and letters, and it could be any combination.

"yeosang?"

"yes?"

"i'm so sorry, but... i couldn't find the code."

yeosang's world shatters once again. it seemed way too easy anyway.

"help me out."

a week later, you still find the man in the same spot. he sleeps in his hibernation pod, and when he doesn't, he sits on the floor beside it and stares at the ceiling. the glass of water you had brought him last night, just like every other night, was empty beside it. it makes you feel relieved that he drank. you don't want him to die like this. you aren't sure how you would handle that, both emotionally and physically.

"yeosang?"

you call, hoping to convince him to come outside today.

"want a tour of the ship? you haven't seen anything yet. besides, don't you have to piss from all this water?"

"thanks for reminding me. my kidneys will kill me." he groans. "which way?"

you lead him out the hibernation room and into the lobby again, only this time you take a different path. there is a door near the restaurant hallway, and you playfully open it up for him.

"my lord."

he rolls his eyes, not yet in the mood for jokes. you lean your head against the locked door, hearing a soft sniff from inside.

"the sooner you accept it, the better it will be for you. i promise."

"you say it like it's easy."

"it's not. i still cry myself to sleep. but i like to pretend that i own the ship, and that all of those people in those pods are my peasants who are coming to serve me on my new planet."

you hear a faint chuckle, and your heart feels lighter.

"besides, once i show you everything, you'll see just how irrelevant our lives are compared to the whole universe. it's beautiful, yeosang."

"you can see outside?"

"yes. i'll take you to the cockpit, if you promise to have a proper breakfast."

you hear water running, and you assume he is washing his hands. "how do you know it's morning? isn't it always dark out there?"

"funnily enough, my digital watch still works. the battery did not run out yet. currently, it is ten in the morning on earth. i even let you sleep in! how generous of me."

he opens the door, causing you to stumble forward into him. he catches you before your head can hit his chest, and it is then that you realize just how big his hands are. you smile awkwardly, stepping back.

"let's go."

yeosang chooses a simple breakfast; cereal and a banana. you order your usual, the blueberry muffin and chocolate milk having you in a chokehold since the first day you woke up. you feel like a peasant who was allowed into his lord's house, eating like a starved farmer while yeosang eats like a sophisticated prince. he taps the napkin on the corners of his mouth every few moments, doesn't graze the spoon against the bowl and doesn't slurp the milk. you, on the other hand, have made a mess not only on the table, but on your lap and floor as well.

"so, uh..." he trails, moving the emptied bowl aside and reaching for the yellow fruit, "what's the plan?"

"are we talking short term or long term?" you also finish the muffin and set the paper wrap aside.

"let's stick to short for now."

"i thought i'd give you a tour of the ship. find you a room, spare clothes and such. the ship is like a city floating through space. my childhood town didn't have this many things to do."

the man laughs lightly, fidgeting with the banana. he doesn't peel it yet, his thoughts so intense they're almost audible. you call his name, once, twice. he doesn't respond. hesitantly, you reach over to put your hand over his. he ceases his fidgeting, his gaze locking with yours. the whites of his eyes are red and glossy again, and being the sensitive person you are, your eyes start burning too. you let out a shaky sigh, trying your hardest not to break down in front of him. he avoids your gaze again, seeing what he did to you.

"i'm going to sound mean and horrible. i know you might have a spark of hope left, and i want to tell you that you should get rid of it right away. hope will only worsen your pain. there is nothing we can do, yeosang. we can't turn the ship around, we are already years away. we will make it just in time for us to die of old age. we can't wake up any of the crew or loved ones, who would put them to sleep again? one of us would have to stay back again. and if you're thinking of the worst... well, i can't stop you there. i'll try, but the ship is huge. i won't be able to keep up with you if you do decide to take that step."

the blonde man sniffles, wiping his cheeks with the back of his free hand. his other one still subconsciously holds onto yours, thumb lightly caressing your skin and comforting you.

"if you, however, do decide... please let me know. so i can prepare to be alone again." your voice trembles, and tears finally set themselves free.

yeosang squeezes your hand, then put his other one over it and keeping it warm. he just now realizes how hard you also have it. he feels selfish, dumping all his sadness on you and not thinking about your feelings at all. you are a stranger, but if you are going to live on the ship with him, might as well try and make friends with you. otherwise, it would be awkward to coexist together.

"so, the cockpit?"

"woah, take me to dinner first."

as you help ryan, the robot you both named, clean up the table, yeosang takes the time to examine the bar.

"so he makes all the food too?"

"there's a couple machines back there, not humanoid though. enough to know a medium rare steak and fries. you'll need all the protein you can get."

he hums, then gets out of the way so that ryan can get the dishes cleaned. you wait near the table, not rushing him yet. he needs time, as much as you still need it. but one of you needs to be the tough one, or you won't last. as soon as he makes his overthinking face, you are quick to grab his elbow and drag him with you.

"there's more to the ship than the bar and the lobby."

when back in the said lobby, you release his elbow and continue down a different path. the short, tube-like hallway is the same as the one before, this time leading into a different room.

"this is the storage. spare clothes, towels, hygiene supplies and such can be found here. further down, see that door? those are the showers. but there is a shower in each of the vip rooms. you can pick whichever room you want when we get there."

"sounds nice."

you show him the gym and the small terrarium, before continuing through the main door of the lobby. yeosang watches in awe as you take out a silver card from the pocket of your sleepwear top and scan it.

"where did you get that?"

"found it in the hibernation room when i woke up. it was locked in a little glass box, it said something like break in case of emergency. seemed emergency enough for me. sadly, it did not have any codes to operate the pods."

the circular door opens smoothly in a spiral, opening a whole new hallway. this one isn't like the previous ones. it is wide, and it rotates around its axis. and it doesn't have a floor. it is simply a tube. the door closes behind you when you step over threshold, and yeosang flinches.

"uh..."

"trust me. take my hand."

everything yeosang does recently is with hesitation. and you understand him, truly. but at least he has someone to guide him. you had nobody. once his hand slides into yours, you don't give him time to ask anything before jumping inside the tube. his heavy body floats in the air, following after you. you can't help the smile that spreads on your lips when yeosang looks up. his jaw is dropped, and his eyes shine orange under the sunlight.

he is speechless, face pressed against the rotating glass like a child against a store window. you swim over to him, also pressing your nose against the cold glass. he is witnessing the first sunset on a different planet, and his heart flutters at the sight.

"it is..." he starts, but doesn't finish.

"i know. there's no word for it, is there?"

"not really, no. beautiful? glorious? breathtaking? none of it seems enough to describe it. it is... strange. different. scary."

you hum, looking down at the dense clouds of the yellow planet. "our earth is so much more beautiful, though. couldn't live on such a dull planet."

"do you think anyone lives down there?"

you shrug, not having thought about it.

"do you think anyone lives on the planet where we are headed? just how advanced is our science and astronomy? for all we know, we could get crushed by a single step from some giant as soon as we land. then all of this was for nothing."

it is the first time you hear him talk more, and you don't dare interrupt him. he has a lovely voice, a deep tone with a soft lisp. you smile to yourself, wondering if anyone pointed that cute trait out to him.

"i guess it doesn't matter for the two of us anyway. not like we are going to live to see it."

"such a ray of sunshine, aren't you?"

he chuckles, sparing you a single glance before flying off to the other side. the planet is enormous, even with the distance the ship keeps with it. their home star seems tiny, but you know that it is just very far away. it might be stronger and way bigger than the sun you know.

"how fun would it be if a fleet came rushing to the ship and they imprisoned us? made us work for them and all?"

"yeosang!"

almost half an hour later, you had to peel yeosang from the windows that were now full of face and finger prints. he whines, but doesn't have much power over his body like you do. you learned to navigate the zero gravity spaces, while he is just getting used to them. you effortlessly pull him through the tube, taking one last glance at the yellow giant below the ship before landing on a floor again. he doesn't succeed, instead landing on his hands and almost his face. the door closes behind you, and smoke fills the small hallway.

"pressure stabilized. you may proceed."

"thank you!" you yell, skipping towards the new doors.

"they can... hear you?"

"huh? oh, no they can't. that's just the automatic system. but it is a habit of mine, to talk to these machines. i had to speak somehow, or to something, otherwise i would've lost it."

"understandable."

using the card, you open another door. each time you do, you are amazed at the mechanics. everything is very futuristic, and no door opens with a doorknob. they are either sensor or card activated, and they always open unusually. from those that spirally open, to those that slide up or down. you love the noises they make when they do so.

"these are the vip rooms. we still have to figure out how we will use the card, since there is only one and you need it to move around. i can unlock the room you want so you don't have to look for me every time you want to go to your room, but that's all the card can unlock. i'll check with ryan if we can duplicate it for other doors."

"he was incapable of pushing a few buttons, think he can replicate a whole card?"

"doesn't hurt to try. anyway, pick a room!" you hand him the card, motioning to the sensors near the doors. "feel free to check out each one of them."

he wants to take the first one, without exploring the rest. but you pressure him into seeing others, claiming there might be better ones. truth is, you've claimed the best one for yourself. but he doesn't need to know that.

"oh, wow." he breathes out, entering the last room at the far end.

it has a simple white bed, already made with pillows and sheets, a desk and a few shelves above it. it has a door that leads to his own bathroom, and a small dresser. a circular window just above the bed takes yeosang's attention again. he smiles, then turns towards you.

"this one."

"you sure?"

"positive. i'd love to wake up to that view every morning."

"then, it is settled. you have your own bathroom and shower, so you won't have to go out all the way back to the lobby. there's also a minibar, it gets restocked once every two weeks for now. but i found a way to change it. it's just a few drinks and snacks."

he nods, still taking in the room.

"anyways, i'd like to call it a day. the cockpit will have to wait. you should refresh yourself, there is towels in the drawers under the bed and spare clothes in the dresser. it's only sleepwear, but fresh. the dirty clothes go in that bin by the door, it gets automatically dumped in the washing machine in the storage room every morning."

"wow, you've really done some exploring."

"guess i have. have fun. i'll unlock the room, then i'll be right across the hall if you need me."

"thank you, y/n."

a few days later, a knock wakes you up. you glance at the watch, and seeing that it is three in the morning, you groan.

"yes?"

"are you awake?"

"now i am."

"sorry."

you stay silent, waiting for him to continue. but he doesn't. you hear shuffling outside the door, then footsteps. you roll your eyes before dragging your body out of the comfortable bed. you open the door, only to find him very much awake and dressed in fresh clothes, on his way back to his room.

"what is it?"

"what's the time?" he turns around at your voice.

"three in the morning."

"oh."

you stare at each other in silence for a few moments. you raise an eyebrow, amused with his behaviour. "well?"

"right. i was bored. i don't know what to do. i can't sleep."

"then... go to the gym?"

"i forgot how to get there. is there anything else to do? where did you get that book you were reading?"

"ah, the library"

"there's a library?!"

"um, yes. not many books, though. mostly classics, only a small young adult and fantasy section. a few comics here and there. it is on the other side of the ship, though. want to borrow mine until tomorrow?"

his cheeks flush at the sight of the book, remembering the themes of it. a little reading can't hurt. besides, he hasn't had any activity in a while. not with himself either.

"sure."

"want to hang here while you read? if you start feeling sleepy you can just sleep in that other bed." you offer, gesturing towards the bed across the one you have occupied.

"sure, if you don't mind."

"make yourself comfy. the minibar is still stocked, feel free to take anything."

it doesn't take long for you to jump back into bed, warming it up and scrunching the pillow beneath your head. it is just not high enough. with your head turned towards the window, you can see yeosang's reflection. he sits cutely on the bed, back pressed against the slightly curved wall and knees pressed to his chest. his blonde locks fall over his eyes, and he blows upwards every now and then to remove them. you smile to yourself before dozing off.

the second time you are woken up, it is by soft whimpers coming from behind you. a wave of heat washes over your body, seeing the reflection in the window. yeosang lays on the bed, the book halfway finished but discarded on the floor next to the bed. he bucks his hips into his hand, which is wrapped around his pretty pink cock. the veins on his hands are bulging, like the ones on his cock, and you have to fight every urge in you to not jump on him.

you shiver at his moans, getting louder and more... pathetic. carefully, your hand slides from under the pillow and under the blanket, reaching the heat between your legs. he chokes on his own moans, gasping and whining more as he works his way to an orgasm. your other hand sits on your mouth, stopping any noise from escaping. you don't tease yourself, there is no need. you are wet enough for your fingers to slide inside of you easily, and you immediately start pumping.

light squelching is heard in the small room, and you are not sure if it is him or you. either way, the noises are driving you insane, and you hate that you cannot quicken your pace.

yeosang is a gorgeous man, and you found yourself having a crush on him the moment you saw him. but you never thought of him this way. he was just too sweet and innocent looking. now? seeing his veiny hands work on himself, pretty lips creating noises you didn't know men could make, cheeks flushed and hair sticking to his face and neck, you might just be in trouble.

"fuck-" he whispers, hips becoming sloppier with each thrust.

you use the last few moments of his lack of attention before his orgasm to speed up your fingers, inching yourself closer and closer, until a wave of pleasure washes over you and blurs your vision for a moment. you bite into your hand, legs squeezing shut from the intense pleasure. you did touch yourself occasionally during these few weeks, but nothing was as strong and intense as this. and none of it was because of yeosang.

you realize you missed his orgasm, and can't help but frown. you would've loved to see it. his pretty eyes rolling back, and his breathing getting shallow as he loses himself to pleasure. he has already composed himself while you were still getting down from your high. he stands up, puts the book on the nightstand near your bed, then makes his way back to your bathroom.

by the time he comes back, you are already asleep from exhaustion.

"tell me about yourself." he says the next morning.

"ask away." you respond, already out of breath.

the treadmill was never your friend. yeosang had joined you right after you warmed up, and you were the one blushing this time. every time you look at him, you see his sweaty face from last night. not a sight to complain about, but you could've done without it.

"i don't know. favorite colour? movie? song? are there such things on the ship?"

"there is a selection of songs. a couple from each period, as samples to show if there is anyone where we are going. well, they. and a few movies, i think. also some popular ones from each period. they have game of thrones, too."

"ah, i never watched it."

"really? i started it on the ship. didn't know what else to do. i am not watching the godfather or star wars again. so far it seems good. jon snow is to die for."

yeosang looks at you, confused. "i don't know who that is."

"if you want to watch with me, i'll show you. i haven't shown you the theater yet anyway."

you stop the treadmill, jumping off it and sitting on the floor for a moment. your legs burn, but it is satisfying discomfort. you wait for yeosang to dismount the stationery bicycle, not looking at his bottom whatsoever. not fair how it is better shaped than yours. he is speaking to you, but you are busy admiring his body. he always hides under the loose sleepwear, this is the first time you see him properly. he wears a tight athletic fit, showing off his broad shoulders and thin waist.

"is that okay?"

"what?" you accidentally yell, then slap your hand over your mouth.

he laughs, running his fingers through his damp hair and glancing at you over his shoulder. "i asked if you want to have dinner? i know we usually skip it from lack of moving during the day, but i am going to be here for a while. i'm going to need some food before bed."

"of course. i was thinking the same. any dress code?" you joke.

"i mean, you can dress fancy. why not? who's stopping us?"

"what, are you going to wear, like, a tuxedo or something?"

"i'll figure something out." he gets off the bicycle, sending you a playful wink.

you find yourself blushing under his gaze, but you do not look away. he is just too mesmerizing to look at. where has this man been hiding down on earth?

"need help getting up?"

"uh, i think i might skip the bike. my legs are too shaky. i'll stay on the floor for a while."

"you'll catch a cold. come here."

without a warning, his hands position themselves on your waist, and so effortlessly pick your aching body up. you hold onto his shoulders, flabbergasted. there is no motive, other than being helpful, but you can't help the sudden rush you feel between your legs. imagining him manhandling you, throwing you around as he likes, wrapping his hand around your neck as you struggle to breathe and beg him for more.

"i'll help you." he sets you down on the yoga mat, then gently pushes you to lay down. "you have to warm up more and stretch yourself."

"if i start warming myself up more, i won't have the energy for a proper exercise."

"come on, don't be dramatic. i'll show you now, alright?"

"fine."

you lay back, eyes looking up at the open ceiling. millions of white and yellow dots glimmer all across the dark void. yeosang's hands slide from your waist to your leg, gently rubbing the thigh. he puts light pressure on it, and it only increases the muscle pain. but you trust him, so you let him continue. he does the same to your other thigh, and repeats the process with your calves. he then sets his hands on your ankles, slowly pushing your feet across the mat until your knees are propped up. he doesn't stop there, picking your ankles off the floor and slowly pressing your knees to your chest.

"oh, fuck me." you gasp in pain, shutting your eyes and reaching for something to hold onto.

your fingers can't grasp the tight fabric of the athletic shirt, so you resort for digging your nails into his shoulders. he holds you in that position for a few moments, then slowly releases and straightens your legs out again. then again, and again, until you are sweating with pain.

"you're doing good," he hushes, "just a bit more. you can handle it for me, can't you?"

"i guess, yeah."

"good girl."

before you can respond with anything other than a grunt, yeosang presses your knees against your chest one more time, this time leaning his body against you. his body is firm, and big. he hovers over you, his crotch dangerously close to yours. if you moved just a few inches, you'd be grinding on him. he stays still for a moment, not breaking eye contact as he causes delicious pain, and you can't help but think about other ways he could stretch you.

"does it hurt?" he whispers.

"a little." you respond with an equal quiet voice.

"i'll get you used to it, don't worry."

it doesn't feel like he is talking about the warmup anymore. but you decide not to risk it. he could really mean it in an innocent and helpful manner, and you would be the lust driven fool who has ruined the only friendship you are going to have in your life. you remove your hands from his shoulders, then gently press them against his chest to push him away. he doesn't budge, but takes the message and moves himself. he is so much stronger than he looks, and it drives you crazy. such an angelic face, with such a sculpted body.

"i think i'll finish early today. if i continue, i won't have the strength to even dress for the dinner, let alone reach the restaurant."

"alright, then. eight tonight?"

"sounds good. got your card?"

he retrieves the shiny item from his back pocket and flashes it your way. "right here."

"great. i'll see you tonight, then. with my fancy clothes." you laugh, picking up the items you have scattered around the gym.

"ditto."

you raid the storage room, looking for anything that is not gym clothes or sleepwear. roaming around the ship, you find the luggage room. hundreds of bags, all full to the brim. you're sure they won't mind if you borrow something. not your fault your father made you pack simple childish clothes and only a handful of makeup.

eight o'clock rolls around quickly, and you may or may not be running late. your room is a mess, makeup scattered all over the desk and nightstand, and clothes piling up on the bed. you do not know what you've pulled from what bag. it's not like you'll be alive to hear them confront you anyway. you had heard yeosang's door shut ten minutes ago, and no matter how much you rush, it seems that everything is working against you. your hair was frizzier than ever, and you hated having it any other way than down. tonight, however, you do not wish to look like you just woke up and forgot about the dinner. you resort for a simple hairclip, pulling out a few strands of hair to frame your face. finally, you feel decent enough to leave the room.

yeosang hears the clicking of shoes, then stands up. his jaw drops at the sight, and he almost forgets to talk. he hasn't seen you with your hair up, ever, not in the gym either. you had some sort of a loose braid, but loose and messy enough to look how you normally do your hair. your face is exposed completely, along with your neck. yeosang was never one to gawk at a woman, but the way the deep red colour of the evening gown complimented your skin and the fabric hugged your curves had him stuttering. your lips had a red tint, with a hint of glitter, both matching the dress. the dress sparkles under the lights as you walk over to him, like the stars yeosang looks at all day and night.

"don't you look handsome." you smile.

he wears a loose, slightly see through black shirt, with nothing underneath. your mouth waters at the sight of the outline of his chest and abs. you so desperately want to run your nails down his torso. he also wears black slacks, and polished black shoes. his hair is tamed, falling in soft blonde locks around his face and showing his eyes properly.

"you look... uh-" his gaze roams your body, up and down multiple times. it lingers on your lace up heels, and if you looked at him for just a bit longer, you would see the way he gulped and licked his lips. "you look dashing."

"thank you, yeosang. you're very sweet."

he pulls out the chair for you, and that simple act already gives you butterflies. as you sit and look at the menu, as if it's your first time seeing it, you can't help but think whether this is a date. you fear to ask. two people looking good and sitting down for dinner doesn't always mean a date, right? even when they keep blushing at each other every few moments?

"are those your clothes?" you ask, chewing on the appetizer.

"no, actually. borrowed them from some guy named seonghwa, i think it said on the bag. he has good taste. i might borrow more things from him once in a while. what about you? that dress has to be yours, it looks like it was made for you."

"i borrowed it from some lady. seems that she only took evening gowns with her. from all of this, only the hair clip is mine."

yeosang nods, shoving a bruschetta in his mouth. "you look pweffy wif your hair up."

"what?" you laugh, taking the last appetizer from the sharing plate.

"i said..." he swallows, "you look pretty with your hair up. you should wear it like that more often."

"will do, sir."

two hours of eating, conversing and laughing later, you drag yeosang from his seat to dance. it has to be the prosecco speaking, because you would never ask him such a thing sober. especially because you can't dance.

"there is no music," he stands in front of you, hands resting on your waist.

he is slightly tipsy, but the sober one between the two of you. you wrap your hands around his neck, and call ryan.

"yes, miss?"

"put on some music, please."

"right away, miss. do you wish for anything specific?"

"play something by elvis."

even though you claim you can't dance, your body moves itself to the soft rhythm of the music. you sway your hips and move your feet to match the blonde man. both of you still have hands firmly planted on the others body, and eyes locked with each other. this time, neither of you look away. something about this moment is so beautiful, and so sad. you have each other, but are alone. you try to make the best out of the situation, but both of you are terrified. you have only learned to mask it well so you can keep each other strong.

but tonight, neither of you holds back tears. you let them freely spill, feeling vulnerable in each others arms. you tremble under his touch, afraid to let go. his thumb grazes your cheek, wiping the new tears away and caressing your skin in the process. this time, it is his turn to comfort you. he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a hug while still swaying to the rhythm of the music. his head rests in the crook of your neck, nose nuzzling against your exposed skin. you have your head buried into his chest, while your hands rest on his back and fingers scrunch the light material of the shirt.

"you smell nice." he compliments softly.

you scoff through tears. "it's a new shampoo."

"macadamia?"

"yeah. was feeling like autumn today."

"i like it. better than my old spice supply."

it feels comforting to silently cry into his chest. after being the one comforting him and staying strong for a long time, it is his turn to cheer you up. he holds your face in his hands, thumbs relentlessly wiping tears away.

"as beautiful as you look even when you cry, i'll have to interrupt with a fun discovery i've made a few days ago."

your cheeks heat up at the compliment. nobody has ever told you anything like that. even at your lowest, he makes you feel pretty.

"a discovery?"

"yeah. i saved it for tonight. come with me." the brown eyed man smiles at you before offering his hand for you to take.

"but slow down, these heels are quite uncomfortable." you accept his warm hand, taking it like you were made for it.

he stays still for a few moments, gaze locked on the black platform heels. a squeal leaves your lips when yeosang takes your body in his hands, carrying you bridal style. you hold onto his neck, and press your head against his shoulder for support.

"wait, the card! i left it on the table."

yeosang makes his way back to the table, then lowers you enough for you to grab the card. you playfully put it between your teeth, then wrap your arms around his neck again. as he walks, you nearly drift off on his shoulder. the soft clicking of his shoes against the floor, his scent, and his occasional humming gives you a sense of serenity. he smells of vanilla and bourbon, and it is a big refreshment from all the ocean breezes and sport rushes. seeing him order the glass of bourbon made your stomach flutter, as you were used to men only ordering beer or a rum-coke. he took small sips of it, a complete opposite to you who finished two glasses before getting to desert. the third one we shall not mention.

you feel him stop, and you open your eyes. you look at a door you've never seen before. looking around, you notice lockers lined up on the wall and a screen hanging in the middle of the room.

"i'll put you down now."

he sits you on the bench under the screen, then crouches in front of you and reaches for the card still nestled between your teeth. you move your head away, sitting on your hands. he scoffs, then reaches again. but you are stubborn. you move your head away once again, causing him to sigh and rest his hands on your knees for support.

"can i have the card please?"

you finally lean in, getting to his eye level. his eyes watch your lips sparkle, just like the card that is stuck between them. the tips of his ears become hot again, and he is glad that his hair is covering them today.

finally getting the hint, the man sighs, playing annoyed. he leans in, hands squeezing your knees, before he takes the other end of the card in his teeth. you almost giggle out loud, not actually expecting him to do that. he takes his sweet time retrieving it, slowly pulling it from your mouth and keeping his gaze locked with yours. you finally let go, accidentally leaving a red lip stain on your side of it.

he then transfers it to his hand, while using his other one to poke your forehead. "you really are something."

"that's right, poke the weak."

"you're going to have to take your heels off for this."

you groan, throwing your head back dramatically. "do i have to?"

"why, too lazy?"

"maybe."

yeosang rolls his eyes, then takes your leg and places it over his lap. his fingers place the card back between his teeth, this time the side with your lipstick on it. something about the whole situation is insanely intimate, and you might beg him to just chain you up on the side of the ship so you don't do anything. he begins untying the laces of the heel, making sure to graze your skin accidentally with his knuckles. you feel his warm breath on your skin, and can't help but squeeze your thighs together. it is only then you realize that he can see up your dress. but he chooses not to.

"you do it so naturally. do you usually take girl's heels off?"

a pinch to your thigh causes you to jump and yelp, and you use your other leg to gently bump his shoulder with the tip of the heel. he doesn't react, only smirking to himself while still looking down and working on the halfway undone lace. you repeat the action, feeling mischievous and set on seeing what he'll do. on the third bump, yeosang grabs your ankle, yanking it forward along with your body and looks up at you.

your legs are now slightly spread, and he can easily look if he wanted to. but he still doesn't. his eyes stay locked with yours, no longer a playful glint in them. his pupils are dilated, causing his eyes to appear darker than usual. a gulp goes down your throat painfully slow, realization hitting you. he might not like this type of teasing and joking, and you might've pushed it too far. after all, he is trying to do a nice thing for you here. he is crouching on the ground for you, for god's sake.

"stay still." he almost growls, voice low and stern.

you nod, your eyes falling down on the leg in his lap. then, you notice the bulge in his pants. he might not be as angry as you thought after all. you stifle a smirk and decide to sit still and make it easier for him.

the man finally takes off one of your heels, and when you want to set your bare foot on the floor, he keeps it still in his lap. the tiles are cold, he says. he works on the other one, taking his sweet time while you admire the room.

you wonder what it is, and where he is taking you. the room gently sways in your eyes, or it might just be you. whatever it is, you trust him.

"feeling better?" he rubs your red and bruised soles. as comforting as it feels, you have to remove them before you drip through your dress and on the bench.

no man was ever this gentle and caring with you. yeosang doesn't even have that kind of relationship with you, and he is already way ahead of all the men you've ever been with. you might've just hit the jackpot with him. spending your life on this ship alone with him doesn't seem like the worst way to live.

"yes, better. thank you, yeosang. you're very sweet. who taught you how to be a gentleman?"

"my sister. that dumbass." he scoffs.

he then proceeds describing how he learned from her horrible boyfriends. they were always selfish, and she always felt alone even when she was in a relationship. she mostly felt used, ignored, and a second choice. yeosang would witness them coming home, doing the deed, then leaving because they had plans with the boys. she cried often, and even though she always slammed the door in yeosang's face whenever he wanted to comfort her, she was grateful that he won't grow up to be like them.

"your sister sounds nice. i've only had asshole brothers."

"well, none of them are in our way now. my sister won't suffer for another nine hundred years, and you won't see your asshole brothers for the rest of your life."

you continue rambling about how strict your father always was, how your mother only listened and rarely ever defended you against his accusations and your brothers' bullying, and how you had to hide every relationship and never got to enjoy them properly. although, now that you think about it, you had the same experience as his sister. you are glad not to be stuck with someone like them.

"now, wear this for me. there's a changing room right there. and don't ask. i promise, it will be worth it."

you feel like a child after coming out of the dressing room, standing up when he tells you, turning around and facing a certain direction. you both wear tight black clothes, and he checks the screen every now and then. once he makes sure that you are wearing the clothes properly, he opens one of the lockers.

"no." your jaw drops in disbelief.

"yes." he says, happily pulling out an astronaut suit.

"yeosang, that- is that safe? i mean, you're not thinking about leaving the ship, are you? this is just dress up, isn't it?" you ramble.

"it is perfectly safe. you told me once to trust you. now, it's your turn to trust me. why do you get to show me the cool stuff around here, but i don't get to do that for you?"

"yes, but... this is outside the ship. it's open space!"

yeosang helps you put the suit on, despite your ranting. you hold onto his shoulders while you put your legs in the boot part of the suit, then your arms until yeosang zips it up. it feels like you already have dozens of layers on you. he stifles a chuckle, and you squint at him.

"what is it?"

"you look like a penguin."

"yeah, well, so do you."

"i know. you just look cute."

he turns around to grab the gloves and helmet, leaving you to blush by yourself while he finishes zipping himself up. he brought back the fear you had forgotten about; fear of the unknown and stranded. at least if something happens, you are not alone.

"head up." you do so, and he connects an oxygen and communication system to the suit, then rolls up the collar of the undersuit so that it protects your neck and head, leaving only your face visible. "good girl."

"you need to stop saying that." you blurt out.

"and you need to stop teasing me every few minutes. there is only so much i can take."

"you're the one to talk! you always-"

"hey." his hand grabs your jaw, turning your head to look at him and stopping your complaining. "behave. or else."

"or else...?" you whisper, the prosecco still pulling the worst in you.

he leans in, noses almost touching and lips close enough to feel his warmth on yours. he looks into your eyes, then down at your lips, still holding your jaw in his hand. "or else i might just have to tame you somehow."

you gulp audibly. he smirks at that, then lets go of you and proceeds to put your helmet on. you feel frustrated. he is playing your game, and he is winning. you are supposed to make him blush and stutter, not the other way around.

"there, all fixed. can you breathe?"

"yes."

"can you hear me?"

"duh."

"through the system, dummy." he laughs, tapping on the wire that connects inside the suit.

"ah, yes. i can."

"good. i hope you don't have to pee."

"don't remind me of that! i had half a bottle of prosecco and am wearing like a hundred layers."

"good. no more pee talk. let's do this."

yeosang slides the card on the door, and enters the small space. when it closes, the space fills with smoke and lots of lights start going off and on.

"pressure stabilized."

"thank you!" he yells, playful smile dancing on his lips.

with a frown, you hit his arm for mocking you. he gently nudges you, as if pushing you away. you both know that if he wanted to, he could've pushed you way harder. and it makes you a little horny.

just in time, yeosang slides the card near the other door, then puts the card safely in the suit pocket and zips it. the round door opens, sliding up and revealing the dark void. instinctively, you grab his hand with two of yours. clinging to him like a sloth, you stand on the edge of the spaceship and look down. it strange that when you step over the threshold, no gravity will pull you down.

"wait!" you stop him before he steps over. "have you done this already?"

"uh... yes? i mean, i didn't go far or stay long. i think i hung for a few seconds from that handle and rushed back in. was scared shitless, honestly."

"you fool!" you hit him again, multiple times.

"ow! hey, what, what?!"

"you went to test it alone? you could've- you could've injured yourself! or worse! something could've gone wrong, and i would be all alone again!"

"you didn't think i'd bring you here before seeing if it's safe, did you? what if only one of us survived, the other would have to live with that guilt until the end of their life." he explains, holding you by your shoulders and gently shaking you as he speaks. "i know we've known each other only for a little over a month now, but i'd never do that to you. we only have each other, and i'd never do anything to leave you alone on this thing. i promise."

"promise?" your bottom lip quivers.

he sighs, closing his eyes and leaning his helmet against yours, as if leaning his forehead. "i promise."

"i believe you."

"good. otherwise, this would be a very bad idea."

with that, he pulls you over the edge, holding onto the handle on the outer surface of the ship. you squeal, legs wiggling in the unknown and arms firmly wrapped around his free one. he holds you close, not yet moving until he is sure that everything looks fine.

"i'll let go now, alright?"

"what if we drift away?"

"we won't, i tied us up to the ship. we can get back whenever we want."

you give yeosang only a few minutes of silence, before bombarding him with questions again. he answers every single one he knows, assuring you that he has everything under control. using the moment when you are focused on something on your space suit, he slowly lets go of the handle. as soon as you feel yourself drifting away, you glue yourself to his side, even going so far to wrap your legs around his.

"y/n, you'll have to let me go. i can't move like this."

"i'm scared."

"you want to go back?"

"no."

"then," he peels you away from himself, instead holding your hand properly in his. "let go."

you now float in the void, holding his hand and admiring the ship from the outside.

"you're looking the wrong way, doll. turn around."

due to the strange and spine-chilling situation you are in, you miss his little nickname directed at you. with his help, you slowly turn your back to the ship, and focus on the newfound space.

"look, down there." he points to the side.

"oh my god!" you exclaim, fear and excitement mixing inside of you. "what is that?!"

it is a bright, giant cloud of shiny dust. it has a light pink hue and a faded purple in the center. 

"it's a nebula." he simply says.

"aren't they more colorful? i mean... that's just looks like a space cloud. it's nothing like the photos they send to us."

"ah, those images are taken with long exposure to capture all the lights, and edited later. our eyes cannot process all of those colours, so they sometimes add them on later."

"oh. well, nevertheless, it is stunning. it looks so glorious. i want to touch it."

"no, y/n, you can't touch the remains of a dead star."

"but why not?" you play along, acting like the spoiled child.

both of you laugh, holding onto each other and staring at the beauty of this frightening place.

"how did they calculate the trajectory? what if they missed some asteroid or something?"

"please don't talk about asteroids while we pathetically hang from a space ship in the void. i beg."

"sorry," you smile sheepishly.

"had enough? want to go back?" he asks, checking on your suit.

"not yet."

"want to go a bit furth-"

a snap interrupts him, coming from the ship. before you can look that way, yeosang pushes you away from him just in time, and you scream. a white object passes between the two of you, close enough to hit you. another snap is heard, then another. you finally look at the ship, right before more objects start flying at you. one of the smaller debris hits you, right in the helmet, sending your body further away. a few moments of silence pass, both you and yeosang going through shock. until you hear slight wheezing, and feel cool air on your face.

one of the boards on the surface on the ship must've come loose and broke into pieces. you gasp, body and soul reaching for the man now far away from you.

"i'm coming!" he man yells, panicked. but the communication starts glitching. it cuts off his words, and soon enough, you can't hear him anymore.

the air becomes harder to breathe, and lack of oxygen could kill you, if fear doesn't do it first. your vision becomes spotty, and yeosang's figure slowly starts blending in with the nebula behind him. you try covering the crack with your hand, and it helps for a short amount of time. you accidentally apply more pressure on it, causing the helmet to further break and wheezing intensify. the system begins to go crazy, sending you signals and urging you to get back on the ship. dozens of beeping noises, red lights and whatnot going off in your suit, yet all you can focus on is yeosang's failed attempts to reach you.

"yeosang..." you call, hoping he might answer.

but he doesn't, instead working with his arms and legs to get to you.

"keep... eyes... open... please..." his voice echoes inside the helmet, broken and mixed with robotic sounds. "take... hand... try... reach..."

"i can't," you breathe out, eyes closing. it is the last thing he hears from you.

"no!"

your vision blackens, and you stop the squirming, instead letting your body in the control of the cosmos. maybe that's how it was supposed to be from the beginning. no escaping doomsday, no ships, no wandering in the void, no claiming other planets. maybe humans were supposed to be the ones with limited knowledge. they weren't meant to go this far. or maybe the human race is simply that insignificant, compared to everything else. just a small, useless percent among the stars. the universe will stand, and continue being terrifyingly beautiful and endless, with or without us.

it feels like the right way to go. a punishment, for escaping your fate and leaving others to die a terrible death.

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, god i'm so sorry."

you couldn't have known, yeosang.

"i should've known, i should've stayed inside."

there was no way for you to know, yeosang.

"i should've died the first time i went, so you know not to do that."

don't speak such things, yeosang. maybe it was meant to be this way from the beginning.

"you don't deserve this, i do."

if you knew what i did, you would know that nobody deserves this like i do.

"please don't die on me, please. what do i do without you?"

you'll make it. you'll just have to do what i did. but you'll hate yourself for the rest of your life.

"none of it makes sense without you."

you'll hate yourself every time you look at their face. like i hate myself when i look at you.

"i- i think i love you. i don't think i'll make it without you."

i wish i could say it back without the guilt eating up my heart. i wish i could say all of this out loud to you, and not in my head. and yes, you will make it, yeosang.

kang yeosang hasn't eaten in days. the restaurant remains empty, as does the gym, and the discovered library, although with a few empty shelves. he sits on the cold floor of the emergency room, books scattered around him and one nestled in his hand.

"it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. however little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters." he reads, voice raspy and tired.

there is a pile to his right, and a smaller one to his left. he reads from morning to night, even though the stars and moons do not show it. he sits there, reading page after page, all to you who lay on the bed in the middle. he lowers the book after a while, glancing at your sleeping body.

"you know, if you've already read pride & prejudice, i can skip it. now that i think of it, you might've already read everything i read to you these days. sorry. must be torture."

already used to not getting replies from you, he sets the book down with a sigh. he folds the corner of the page, marking where he stopped reading. if you were awake, a poke to his forehead would be guaranteed, if not worse. he laughs, remembering the first time you discovered he did that.

"i'm sorry, are you ill? what the hell are you doing to my books?!"

"first of all, they're not yours. second, it's just a book. and third, to answer your question: i'm folding the corner."

"my lord, i have just lost all my respect for you. please exit my chambers."

"gosh, stop reading game of thrones already. if i get called lord one more time, i'm jumping into the nearest black hole."

"i am the queen of the ship, i do as i wish."

"and what does that make me?"

"you can be my queen hand."

"not your king consort?"

"ha! you wish. your house and blood is no match for mine, yeosang of house kang."

"whatever you say, your grace."

yeosang had forgotten about his own room. he hung out with you all day, and slept in the bed opposite to yours. for the first time in a while, he didn't think about what's outside, and what fate awaits him. he enjoyed the moment, enjoyed making you laugh and pissed. he loved how you could switch from giggly to angry in a split second, only from him tickling you too much.

now? he can tickle you as much as he wants, but you won't budge. you breathe, but you don't show any other signs of consciousness. he has raided every room there is, looking for any medical help in any form. he asked ryan, though he should've known better than that. i am not programmed for that kind of procedure, sir. yeosang already knew that sentence before it was said. it took everything in him to not smack the robot, but he heard your voice in the back of his head, defending the soulless thing.

he stands up, setting the book aside on the pile that is waiting to be read. he approaches the circular table, where he has laid you, stripped you of the heavy spacesuit and only left the first layer of tight clothes, then covered you with a light blanket. he managed to connect a few tubes to your body, following the instructions on the screen above the table. he can now see your vitals, he just doesn't know what to do with it. he relies on the ai, hoping it is right.

"if you do not wake up soon, my queen, i will take your throne," he jokes, tapping a damp cloth on your forehead. "then what will you do?"

he unbuttons his silk sleep shirt and stays in his white tank top, suddenly feeling hot inside the room. he folds it on the table next to your head, and pushes the hair out of your face. the system beeps above his head, showing increased heartrate. he looks down at you, searching for any sign of consciousness other than breathing.

"can you hear me?"

your heartrate goes back to normal, dimming yeosang's hope. he finishes wiping the sweat off your forehead and neck, then gently squeezes your hand before sitting back on the floor and resuming his reading.

when he wakes up, he finds himself in his own room. how he got there, he could not recall. but he left your side, after he promised himself to not do that ever again. almost jumping out of bed, the man dashes down the halls, the shiny card in his hand still holding your lipstick stain as he presses it against the various door sensors. he reaches the emergency room in record time, and his heart almost stops. you aren't there.

the tubes once attached to your body now lie on the floor, and the blanket is neatly folded on the table. his sleep shirt is gone, along with the book he wasn't done reading to you. hands hurriedly rubbing his eyes, yeosang fails to process what happened. he rushes through the rest of the ship, searching every nook and cranny in hopes of seeing your face. even going to the place he has been avoiding for the past few days. the spacesuits and helmets still lay on the floor, forgotten. the cracked one delivers a pang to the blonde man's heart, a painful reminder of his careless acts and their consequences.

hopeless, he reaches one final spot. the cockpit.

he had promised you not to go there without you, and the other way around. both of you were waiting for a perfect opportunity, when both of you are sober and wide awake. that never happened.

yeosang breaks his promise, holding the card to the sensor. the doors slide open, revealing the long awaited cockpit. two tall chairs stand side by side, separated by a narrow control panel. in front of the chairs is a wider and more detailed control panel. and above it all, a panoramic window. the ship is flying through a nebula, its vivid colours taking yeosang aback. bright shades of orange, yellow and blue envelop the ship, reflecting in yeosang's wide eyes. 

"you said that the colours are edited on photos. how dare you lie to your queen?"

the man steps back, recognizing your voice.

"y/n?"

"yes?" one of the chairs turns around, and you sit in it. with a smile on your lips, the lost book in your hand, and his sleep shirt hanging from your body. but all he sees is your face.

he exhales, relief washing over his body like never before. not able to control himself, he rushes towards you, picking you up from the chair and enveloping you in his arms. the book falls to the floor, your arms flying to return the hug. it never felt as right as now.

"gosh, how did you get here by yourself? are you hurt?" he sets you on the floor, cupping your face in his big palms. "are you alright?"

"i'm fine. a little dizzy."

"i thought i lost you."

not able to stop himself, yeosang presses his lips against your forehead. he stays there, inhaling your scent and listening to your breathing. your hands slide down from his neck and find their place on his chest, feeling his heartbeat under your palm. it beats fast, almost matching yours. he pulls away, resting his forehead against yours properly this time, not through a helmet.

"how dare you leave me alone?"

"is that a way to speak to your queen?"

he chuckles at your jokes, even in such moments. he should get used to it by now. his thumbs rub your cheekbones, soothing you and making whatever worry you had left perish. you can't help the tears that prickle your eyes when you look at him. his are as red and glossy, and it takes you over the edge.

you climb on your toes, properly reaching his face. his heart beats faster under your palm, as if threatening to jump out. slowly, and with a bit of hesitation, you press your lips against his. it is a mere two second kiss, before you pull away. you search his face for any emotions; disapproval, disgust, discomfort. yet none of those are present.

he has his eyes shut, still taking in the kiss. you want to pull away, to give him space. but his hands slide down to your waist, pressing your body against his. he leans in again, capturing your lips with his. his kiss is an opposite to yours: confident and sure. he pecks your lips once, twice, again and again, until you finally relax in his arms and let your hands roam his body. fingers finding comfort in his blonde locks, and body pressed firmly against his, you kiss him like it's your last.

his grip intensifies, his fingers buried into your sides as yours gently pull on his hair. he picks you up, only to set you back into the chair you've been sitting in all this time. he easily finds the button to lower the backrest and turn it into a temporary bed, then climbs on it with you. his lips are hungry for yours, and even though you could use a moment of breathing, you do not stop him. allowing yourself another moment of bravery, you gently lick his bottom lip, asking to deepen the kiss. and the man listens. he opens his lips, tongue in search for yours while your hands play with the collar of his tank top on his back. you slide one hand underneath, feeling his hot skin on yours.

gently, yeosang grazes your tongue with his, and you taste salty liquid on his lips. tears fall down both your faces, drops rolling down your cheeks and mixing in your mouths with the kiss. it is emotional, passionate, and intimate in every way. he pulls away for a split second, only to take a breath and look at you.

his chest rises and falls heavily, and his lips are plump and a deep pink. his hair is ruffled, your doing. he already looks breathtaking.

"is that... my sleep shirt?" he finally notices.

"oh, yeah. i was feeling a bit chilly, i borrowed it. want it back?"

"no, you can- oh."

you sit up, enough to let the white silk material slide off your skin and pool on the chair. you had stripped yourself from the tight undergarments yeosang had left you in, instead wearing a white bralette and matching lace panties. from the size of his sleep shirt, he didn't even notice that you weren't wearing the short bottoms you usually do.

the white has never complimented your skin as beautifully as today, right in this moment. yeosang can't help but remove your hair from your chest and neck, letting it fall back and exposing your body to him. you let him, taking your time in examining him as well. he runs his knuckles down your wet cheek, wiping the tears that decorate your face, and continues down your neck. his forefinger takes the lead, caressing your collarbones and making a path between your breasts.

you take his hand, guiding it to the outline of your panties. his breath seems to stop for a moment, but a gentle smile on your lips assures him that everything is alright. he groans, slamming his lips back on yours, this time sloppier and rougher. noses brushing against each other, teeth clashing, and hands hurriedly getting rid of clothes, it is all you've needed all this time.

him, all of him.

a thin layer of sweat coats his body, making his pale skin shine under the lights of the nebula. he peppers kisses along your jawline, down your neck, and settles on your collarbones.

"my queen," he whispers, then runs his tongue along your collarbone.

your fingers play with his damp locks, gently pushing his head towards you and inhaling his scent. he seems to have a fixation on the certain part of your body, because he can't help but mark it with purple spots. you hiss at the sweet pain, and yeosang is quick to lick your fresh wounds, as if apologizing for what he did.

he lingers around the area a bit more, switching between the crook of your neck and the collarbones, until he finally dips his head down to your breasts. a shiver runs down your spine when he cups them, giving them a gentle squeeze before kissing all over them. you tremble under his touch, hips desperately searching his for friction. but he lowers your body back on the chair, limiting your moves.

you forget just how strong he is, and him holding your body in place with a single hand reminds you how much he works on himself, even when his life has completely changed. a gasp escapes your lips as you feel the tip of his hot tongue circling your tense nipple. he catches it between his lips, gently sucking it while his other hand travels down your body. his short nails graze your skin, and you've never felt this sensitive in your life.

he pays attention to every inch of your body, showering it with love and passion, marking your skin as he goes and making you his in every way.

"yeosang-" you choke out, feeling him bite your lower stomach.

"yes?"

"please," you beg, running your nails down his bulk arms and shoulders.

"patience, love. you'll get where you want to. what's the rush? we have our own eternity."

the way he speaks in a hoarse voice has you seeing imaginary stars beside the real ones out the window. he pulls away from your body, just enough to plant a kiss on your damp forehead. he pulls you in for a kiss again, sighs of pleasure leaving both your mouths as you kiss and feel each other. his bare body finally leans against yours completely, and you instinctively spread your legs. his arm hooks under your knee, bending it over and caressing your thigh in the process.

"you're everything i've ever wished for." he whispers between kisses. "i just failed to see it. it took me losing you to understand that."

"yeosang..." his name rolls of your lips so sweetly in a light moan.

"i'm so sorry for what i did."

"don't apologize."

"i will. you almost died because of me."

"don't speak of that now," you hush him with another kiss.

he listens, putting his other hand on your other leg and gently spreading them. he falls to his knees, hands still firmly planted on your thighs. you try pushing them together, instinctively, but you should've known better than that. they stay in place under his grip, exposing your glistening core to his hungry eyes. it's almost like he can see the colorful dust cloud down there, the layer of arousal mimicking his sweat and reflecting the blue of the sky.

yeosang isn't in a rush, unlike you. your hand pathetically grips his hair, pushing his head towards your pulsating and burning core. he chuckles between your legs, cool air hitting your clit from the proximity.

"please?"

"what do you beg for, pretty?"

"don't tease me, i've waited long enough. please, yeosang."

"oh, but i've waited long too. and now that i am here, i want to take my sweet time. i want to devour you, feel all of you, to mould you so that you fit perfectly in my hands. i want to make love to you among the stars, and i want to make you feel like a real queen of the skies."

it's like he fell out of a book. he knows all the right words, all the right gestures, and all the right touches. his tongue dips between your folds, plush lips following and lazily caressing your clit. your fingers tighten their grip in his hair, and your other hand digs its nails into his shoulder for support. settling for soft and gentle licks, yeosang truly takes his time with you. he makes out with your folds, as if they're your real lips, sucking on them, grazing them with his teeth and kissing along your clit. you squirm under his painfully slow moves, grinding your hips on his face in hopes of getting more friction.

tired of your disobedience and impatience, yeosang places your legs over his shoulders, burying his head further into your core and switching to rougher moves. lewd noises escape your lips, and you do not try to conceal them. he should know what effect he has on you.

he slurps up your nectar, coating his lips in shiny fluid and enjoys your core essence. he eats you like a starved man, not bothering to take a proper breath. he sucks harshly on your clit, drawing moans and gasps from you. when he pulls away, his cheeks are flushed, and his lips plump and glistening with your arousal. a thin string of saliva connects his mouth to your core, and you almost black out at the sight. you pull him by his hair, crashing your lips on his again. you taste yourself on his tongue, and even though you never liked reading about it or seeing it, it is something that you were truly missing out on.

you nudge him, asking him to switch positions. he smiles into the kiss, but turns you over so effortlessly. he is now the one laying down, and you are the one to break the kiss and get on your knees. you see him clearly for the first time. you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine, by taking it slow and teasing him. you kiss his thighs, ignore his aching area, and continue kissing his lower stomach. he can't help but reach for your hair, softly caressing it as you try your hardest to hold back, but seeing that he doesn't mind the delay, but rather enjoys it, you stop the teasing.

 your tongue doesn't hesitate to lick a stripe up his hardened cock, circling around his tip and collecting the precum. he hums with pleasure, but doesn't close his eyes. he wouldn't miss this for anything. you take his red tip between your lips, slowly pushing until you almost touch his stomach. he twitches inside your hot mouth, the tip caressing the back of your throat and making your eyes tear up. finally, crying for a different reason.

unlike you, he doesn't buck his hips to speed up your moves. he is perfectly obedient, petting your head and muttering words of praise.

"that's a good girl," he whispers.

you bob your head up and down, testing the waters. he only sighs and hums, not yet moaning. your impatience wins again, your body eager to extract more dramatic sounds from him. you pull away from him, but not without a teasing kiss to his tip, before climbing into his lap.

"how do you want it, my queen?" he cups your face, and you're quick to nuzzle your cheek against his warm palm.

"i want it just like this. me on top."

"oh? didn't take you for one to be on top."

"i'll surprise you with so many things, kang yeosang. you just wait."

"that's my girl."

driven by pure lust and euphoria, you do not care about protection, or the aftermath. you simply raise your hips and align his cock with your clenching hole, then slide down on it. he slides in, inch by inch, deliciously stretching you and filling you to the brim. when you finally sit on it, both of you moan out, hands reaching for each other. his hands help you roll your hips, while your hands feel his torso and chest. you move, slowly, just the way he likes it.

the moans and sighs leaving his lips are the prettiest sounds you've ever heard. you stay silent, wanting to hear more of him. his eyes are fixed at the point where both of you are connected, pupils dilated as he watches your wet hole swallow him whole. the room is filled with squelching noises, the creaking of the chair, passionate kissing here and there, and neverending exclamations of pleasure.

you find yourself whining for release pretty quickly, the buildup already more intense than any of your previous orgasms. yeosang seems to be reaching his end as well, seeing his head hanging from the chair and exposing his pretty neck to you. you can't help but snake your hands up his torso, fingers finding the key pressure on his neck and gently pressing. he chokes out with surprise, sending you a single glance of pure ecstasy before letting his head fall back again.

the dried tears on his glowing face look majestic, along with his eyes rolled back and his hair a mess. he looks glorious under you, especially as his moans get more high pitched and needy. you feel yourself becoming tired, but you love the position too much to change.

"come on, love. fuck yourself dumb on my cock."

such vulgar words from such an angelic face make your insides quiver. it gives you a boost of energy, and you quicken your pace and bounce just like he told you to. he doesn't break eye contact with you, nor does he let you do all the work. his hips meet yours, reaching deeper inside and making you finally moan out loud. he sits up straight, pulling you close to him and holding your body in place so he can collide his hips with yours quicker and with more accuracy. you are a drooling mess, forehead pressed against his as you shamelessly moan into his lips.

"come on, angel. milk me dry like the good girl you are."

your walls squeeze around him, moans becoming whines and mewls.

"fuck, love- i'm going to fill you up-" he grunts, lips desperately chasing yours.

but both of you are too lust driven to kiss properly, so you settle for moaning into each others mouth and bite each others lips, all while chasing the sweet pleasure.

"my love..." he moans.

"yes-" you choke out, feeling the buildup getting ready to errupt.

"my fate..." he grabs your face, forcing you to look into his eyes.

"yeosang-" you sob, pathetically grinding your hips on his.

"my queen of cosmos."

the orgasm tears through you, erupting in your lower stomach and spreading to the edges of your body. warm liquid shoots inside you, and yeosang keeps rocking his hips to the point where he has your eyes rolled back and jaw dropped, no sound exiting your mouth. your nails leave marks on his back, shoulder and neck, just like your lips do on his. you bite down on his bottom lip, accidentally making it bleed. he hisses at the pain, but doesn't forget to help you ride out your orgasm. your moans bounce off the walls of the cockpit, filling yeosang's ears like heavenly music.

the man doesn't seem to get enough of you, because he lays you on your back and slides back inside you. you don't protest, instead relaxing your body and throwing you head back, much like he did. you let him praise you, use you, worship you. you could never handle more than one orgasm, yet kang yeosang has you moaning on the third one already. by the fourth one, you feel like you're drunk or on some kind of substances.

the vivid colours of the nebula never stop, dancing with each other and illuminating your bodies. yeosang kisses you, over and over, whispering sweet things into your ear and asking if you're good. you don't reply with words, but with a kiss to his forehead, nose, lips, whatever you could.

yeosang makes love to you until the ship swims out of the dust cloud, revealing the void littered with millions of glimmering dots once again. you've stopped counting after five, and let yourself go in his arms. maybe this was your fate after all.

or maybe you were kept alive just to confess to your wrongdoings to the man that has proclaimed his love to you. maybe your punishment is his kindness towards you, when you know you don't deserve it.

"i love you."

"i love you too, yeosang." you say it back, guilt still eating up your heart like the first time he said it, unaware that you could hear him.

the blonde haired man didn't have to try hard to get used to waking up beside you. it was his favorite part of the day for months now: waking up to your kisses, or the other way around. having breakfast together, going to the gym, then showering together. perhaps it was repetitive, but to yeosang, it was everything.

today, however, he woke up way before you. he has raided the luggage room, and created a mess until he found what he was looking for. you did your usual routines alone today, with yeosang busying himself with something else all day.

"i'd like to finish that book today, if you don't mind? i'll see you for dinner tonight."

"alright then. i'll miss you." you pout.

"i'll see you in a few hours, darling. fancy dress code?"

"sure! we haven't done that in a while. i can't wait."

and that's how yeosang found himself in the restaurant, spending two hours decorating the place with ryan's help.

"is the rose too much, ryan?"

"depends on the occasion, sir."

"let's say... proposal."

"i believe it is too little, sir."

"yeah, well, unless you can shit out a rose right here, i don't have much choice. i stole this one from the little terrarium in the lobby."

ryan doesn't respond, in his true robot style. yeosang sighs, lighting the candle on the table. you should be here any minute now.

"maybe i should've done it in the big terrarium." he overthinks.

"if i may, sir, the hibernation room would also be a meaningful place."

yeosang raises an eyebrow, amused. "hibernation room?"

"it's what started your new fate."

"ah, the broken pods. i guess i have to visit the engineers on board once, to thank them for that malfunction."

"oh, no need sir. you can thank miss y/n."

yeosang stops arranging the cutlery, looking at the humanoid robot. "what do you mean?"

"well, she is the one behind the malfunction. at least behind yours. so she is the one to thank."

"what?"

"oh, i thought you knew. apologies sir-"

"explain." he walks towards ryan, brows furrowed and hand fidgeting with the jewelry box in his pocket.

"i really shouldn't, sir. apologies, i-"

"you'll tell me," yeosang reaches for a glass of water, ready to pour it over the machine, "right. fucking. now."

"her pod was the only one that malfunctioned. yours was perfectly fine, sir. miss was lonely, and sad. she spent a whole week looking for a perfect match, and found you. she opened your lid, and rushed back to her room."

a crash, similar to the one on the very first day he woke up, echoes through the restaurant. yeosang turns around, finding your startled face looking at him and a broken bottle of wine by your feet.

you don't dare move, afraid of what he'll do. you have no excuse. and no shame.

he slowly steps towards you, causing you to step back. unlike the first day, his face doesn't give away anger. he is calm, and it scares you more. you wish he'd yell, push, throw. yet he doesn't, simply walking into your direction and stopping right in front of you, separated by a broken bottle. he steps in dark red liquid, the ruined shoes being the last thing on his mind.

"yeosang-" you whimper, his still face torturing you.

"don't."

"b-but-"

"do. not."

"you have to understand- i- i was just-"

his hand wraps around your neck, putting light pressure on it. "you took everything from me."

"yeosang, please."

"you do not get to cry. you do not get to feel my pity. you do not get to feel my mercy."

"please, understand me!"

"no!" he drops you on the floor. "i won't fucking understand you! i'd never do such a cruel thing to someone! have you felt no shame every time you looked at me? kissed me? comforted me when i cried about it?!"

pieces of glass tear your palms as you try to stand up, but fail. you sob on the floor, chest hurting from intensity. the glass shards dig into your thighs, and your dress soaks up the wine. you wipe your cheeks with your bloodied hand, accidentally smearing a few red drops on your face.

"here." he throws something in front of you before storming off.

you wail on the floor for what seems like hours. with your knees pressed to your chest, and your head resting on top of your knees, you cry. your dress is soaked with alcohol, tears and snot. you have no dignity left at this point. once you finally start calming down, you notice the plush box that lays discarded on the floor.

it reveals a stunning ring, with a simple stone in the middle. it looks like it was overgrown by vines, and is a rose gold colour. guess you can add it to the box with the broken necklace now. another relationship broken because of you.

days are longer than ever, with you waking up alone and eating alone. that is all you do, besides an occasional visit to the terrarium. when you hear his doors open, you do not dare exit your room until you hear them close. with each day you wake up, you love him more. your body aches for his, and soul yearns for his. maybe if you told him right away in the beginning, this wouldn't have happened. maybe he would've accepted it, he would have more time to understand.

you're a crying mess, from morning to night, until you pass out of exhaustion.

today, you woke up with a hoarse voice and painful chest. you desperately needed to get out the room, no matter if you heard yeosang's door or not. you might faint if you don't leave.

you limp through the hallways, holding onto the walls. you make it all the way until the rotating tube. why was there no other way to get to the other side?

you sit at the edge, head leaning against the stationary wall and legs hanging above the space. you watch the tube rotate, not brave enough to jump in today. but if you don't make it to the terrarium, you might stay here forever.

the doors open behind you, the familiar voice of the system echoing through the tube. you gulp, his scent enveloping you. you expect him to walk away, or simply jump in the zero gravity space and continue his path. but he holds out his hand for you to take.

you look up at him, eyes tired and bloodshot red. he spares you a single glance, before furrowing his eyebrows and looking away. your hand slides into his, as if made with his measurements in mind. he pulls you up slowly, then presses your body close to his. it is as if you were never separated. his vanilla scent fills up your nostrils, and soft breathing soothes you. you hold onto him, like you did when he took you space walking.

he moves through the tube effortlessly, stopping for a while to gaze at the planets below. they are as breathtaking as the previous ones, and the ones to come. yeosang never ceases to be amazed by the beauty of the universe.

upon reaching the other side, you clutch onto him, knowing that this is going to be a rare occasion now. maybe it was just you, but his breath hitches, as if he wants to say something. no sound leaves his pretty lips, not even when you land in the hallway and he helps you find your balance.

"thank you." you whisper.

he stays by your side, eyeing you up and down. "are you alright?"

"uh, yeah. aside from... you know."

he presses the back of his head against your forehead to feel your temperature. "you're a little hot."

a smile creeps on your lips, and you are desperate to make a joke. typical you, making jokes in situations that are serious.

"go on, say it." he sighs, his lips curving up as well.

"no, the moment is gone now."

"want me to repeat it?"

you roll your eyes, then become serious again. he stares at you, an unexplainable emotion on his face. disgust? maybe.

"where are you headed? you should lay down if you're feeling sick."

"terrarium. i need... fresh air."

"i was headed there too."

"oh. sorry, i'll just go somewhere else." you start turning around, and he grabs you by your elbow.

"you don't have to. come here."

before you can protest, yeosang picks you up in his arms, carrying you bridal style once again. while he is focused on the path, you take the time to admire him. he is beautiful. his eyes also seem to be a reddish pink shade, and he has slight bags under his eyes. but before a hope sparks inside your heart, you remind yourself that he does not weep after you. he does it after his family, and after his changed fate.

after the life you stole from him.

"i can hear you thinking."

"sorry."

"stop apologizing."

"okay, sorry."

he looks down at you, amused. "you haven't changed a bit."

"uh... sorry?"

for his own sake, he decides to ignore you. when reaching the terrarium, he sets you down on one of the swings. your head feels lighter already, but your voice stays the same. you aren't used to being this silent, despite being alone for almost a month. you steady yourself, holding onto the chains that hold the plank you call a swing. yeosang stands behind it, putting his hands over yours and gently beginning to push it.

"i understand." he starts.

"you don't have to-"

"no, let me." and you do let him. he lightly pushes you on the swing, taking his time to form sentences. "while you were passed out... i wished for nothing more than for you to wake up. if you didn't, i'd probably do as you did. humans aren't made to live alone, and i never believed it. until i got in this situation. thus, i understand. what i did not understand though, why me? hundreds of men and women in those pods, and you chose me. what made me stick out? what made you come over and open the lid? it's not like there are any personality traits written anywhere. i could've been a douchebag, and you wouldn't have known. then what? would you have gotten rid of me? locked me somewhere?"

"you were simply... angelic." you don't have to think long to give him an answer. you did the thinking before opening his pod.

"angelic?"

"you had this beautiful face, serenity painted on it. true, i did not know anything about you. you could've been short tempered, violent, or worse. after all, i'm a girl. alone, with no protection. yet i took my chances. and you turned out to be perfect. i fell in love with every part of you; with your soul, brain, body. you were my dream partner."

he is speechless. for the first time ever you speak openly about it, and you do not stutter.

"and i wanted to be your dream partner. i tried my hardest to be perfect, but my previous doings kept coming back and haunting me. that night... i wanted to tell you. i truly did. but that stupid robot beat me to it. i mean, seriously, he can't push a few buttons but he can gossip?"

yeosang snorts, then nods in agreement.

"i'm sorry."

"what?" you whip your head around to look at him. "no, i'm the one who should be apologizing. you did nothing wrong!"

"i've been thinking. i apologize for what happened on the space walk. and i apologize for getting violent with you. i just felt... cheated. and stolen from. i felt betrayed. and all that by the person i love with all my being."

"but, yeosang-"

"look, y/n." he walks around the swing and crouches in front of you, stopping your swinging. his hands rest on your knees, thumbs absentmindedly rubbing your skin. "for all we know, they could all be headed to a different type of destruction. maybe they miscalculated. maybe the planet already has life on it, and they see humans as threat. they won't hesitate to exterminate them in order to protect their planet. or maybe it is a higher, more advanced civilization. i don't know about you, but i'd rather live my life on a sized down earth than live to see my own species die out or become slaves to someone else. so, in a way, thank you. for saving me."

"oh, yeosang." you exhale, falling on your knees and into his arms. "i love you. i love you so much."

"i love you too, princess. say..."

"yes?" you pull away, wiping your upcoming tears so they don't fall.

"can you give me my ring back so i can propose? but please act surprised."

you laugh, and he laughs with you. you pull it out from your pocket, and he looks at you with a wider smile.

"i can't believe you had it right here."

"had what?" you shove it into his hand.

"what do you mean? the ri- oh. right." he catches on.

you stand up, pretending to look at the plants while he shuffles behind you. he clears his throat after a while, making you turn around. you fake a shocked expression, putting your hand over your open mouth after seeing him on his knee. the box is opened, and the ring is as beautiful as the first time you saw it.

"will you marry me, my queen of cosmos? and rule the cosmos with me by your side?"

"i will, my queen hand."

🌠 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: first of all, omg a happy ending?? is this a first for barbz? i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it :)

🌠 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐥/𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬)

@kodzukein @woomyteez @mulletdaddyjayjo @bae4choi @haatohwa @marvelahsobx @jxhnnyfav @angellluh @jjaemasung @oddracha @devastateed

[aziraphales-library]

Heya!! I was wondering if you guys had any wedding themed fics? Not like Az and Crowley getting married but them attending other peoples weddings? I don't have any specific themes other then romance and fluff lmao

Thanks :D

Hello! Here are some fics in which they attend other people's weddings...

And I mean to go on and on and on and on by yolkinthejump (T)

A wedding of old friends. Aziraphale gets drunk on Gay Love and Crowley absolutely adores him. Par for the course. Thoughts on the muddled history of marriage and the power of love, persevering.

when two lovers meet in Proxima Centauri by heydoeydoey (T)

The Archangel Gabriel and Beelzebub, Duke of Hell request the honour of your presence at their wedding 4:00 pm on Tuesday, 9th of January Proxima Centauri

Love on the Rocks by mageofthepeople (E)

Aziraphale and Crowley are guests at Anathema and Newt's destination wedding. Having problems of their own, they spend the week up to the wedding trying to save their relationship while keeping up with wedding events and social engagements as a couple.

The Nice and Accurate wedding of Anathema Device, Witch, which went just as expected by Nenchen (G)

Wedding planner Anathema Device is the Number One. She can organize anything for a wedding, flower arrangements, catering, a marching band or an emu. The name Device is a guarantee for a picture perfect wedding - and the perfect pictures will be taken by her top wedding photographer, and best friend, Anthony J. Crowley. Both of them see weddings mostly as business, until Anathema meets Newt, Love of her life, walking natural disaster extraordinaire, and very much not a person it’s possible to have a perfect wedding with. Which is perfect since Anathema frankly never wanted one for herself. She just wants a fun party, good food, and all of her friends to attend - including Crowley. For whom this might just as well be the apocalypse because no, he is not allowed to work on her wedding. Strictly invited only as a guest, Crowley finds himself at a loss. What the hell do you do at weddings? Well, if you are Crowley, the answer is some James Bond-like action, some worrying about fly swarms and their sources, having a lot of emotions, drinking some very funny wine, putting your foot in your mouth and just maybe meeting someone to share all of that with. Oh, and there’s always cake, isn’t there?

Talk About It by hope_in_the_dark (T)

Aziraphale and Crowley have been best friends for sixteen years. Crowley's been in love with Aziraphale for almost that long. When Aziraphale tells his family that he'll be bringing his boyfriend to his step-brother's wedding, things get a bit complicated. A Fake Dating AU.

It's Not The Journey by cosmya (T)

It had been going so well. They’d averted the apocalypse, averted their punishments, averted further investigation or attention by their respective organizations. They were left with little to do but bask in the happy ending. Therein had been the problem. Another champagne, sir?” interrupted the flight attendant. Aziraphale’s eyes snapped open. Oh, I shouldn’t, he thought. “Yes, please,” he said. “Thank you.” Anathema and Newt are getting married, and two of their wedding guests are in a bit of an awkward place. An all-inclusive resort with unlimited alcohol is precisely what they need to re-break the ice.

- Mod D

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 9/10/2024

someone adopt this little orange man from me in Houston TX! more details here!

listening

the 1991 Ella Mae Morse compilation Capitol Collectors Series is the official driving-cats-to-the-vet album bc it is so mellow but still fun. this album has previously been featured several times in tuesdayposts but i think you should all listen to it again.

seven thousand three hundred days IS a long long time to sleep ur so right ella

-

reading

two different works that annoyed me: Emily Hamilton's The Stars Too Fondly. my first clue should have been that this is my least favorite poem, bc ppl would quote it to me smugly after my mom died. im sure they thought they were being so super comforting to a budding astronomer, but, much like how i can no longer eat lasagna bc ppl gave us Twenty! Party! Size! Platters! Of! Lasagna! after my mom died (they would just Appear on our front porch, frozen), too much of this poem really soured me.

i had this book on hold Forever and then delayed delivery twice bc i have not felt like reading lately. here's the publisher's description:

In her breathtaking debut—part space odyssey, part sapphic rom-com—Emily Hamilton weaves a suspenseful, charming, and irresistibly joyous tale of fierce friendship, improbable love, and wonder as vast as the universe itself. So, here’s the thing: Cleo and her friends really, truly didn’t mean to steal this spaceship. They just wanted to know why, twenty years ago, the entire Providence crew vanished without a trace. But then the stupid dark matter engine started all on its own, and now these four twenty-somethings are en route to Proxima Centauri, unable to turn around, and being harangued by a snarky hologram that has the face and attitude of the ship’s missing captain, Billie. Cleo has dreamt of being an astronaut all her life, and Earth is kind of a lost cause at this point, so this should be one of those blessings in disguise that people talk about. But as the ship gets deeper into space, the laws of physics start twisting, old mysteries come crawling back to life, and Cleo’s initially combative relationship with Billie turns into something deeper and more desperate than either woman was prepared for. Lying somewhere in the subspace between science fantasy and sapphic rom-com, The Stars Too Fondly is a soaring near-future adventure about dark matter and alternate dimensions, leaving home and finding family, and the galaxy-saving power of letting yourself love and be loved.

should be catnip for me, right? wrong. starts out as a chat fic, which i hate.

i had a lot of trouble finishing the first chapter, which also has an extended third-person omniscient narrator flashback in italics, a thing i also hate. i KNOW you can figure out how to integrate this information into the book in a better way instead of dumping it in my lap.

i think part of why this is not hitting like i wanted is the tone, because i think this veers more new adult than i was really hoping for. i think introducing a big group all at once is very hard to do effectively. i do not like a series of character introductions that feel like they are trying to sell me action figures. or perhaps blind-bag figures. i do not like a six-deep list of cheesy puns about someone's name. i do not have the patience to see if this debut novel finds its footing a little later on, though i am glad a sapphic ghost in the machine romance exists in this world.

i also read dean motter's mister x (both the original late eighties through early nineties run and the 2008 follow-on).

let's yoink the description from wikipedia:

Set in Radiant City, a dystopian municipality influenced by Bauhaus and Fritz Lang's Metropolis, the series concerns a mysterious figure who purports to be its architect. His radical theories of "psychetecture" cause the citizenry to go mad, just as he did, and he takes on the mission to repair his creation. To accomplish this he remains awake twenty-four hours a day by means of the drug "insomnalin", all the while coping with a Dick Tracy–like rogues gallery and supporting cast including his long-suffering ex-girlfriend Mercedes. (ed note: the redhead in the santa beard below)

the art in this comic book is really and truly stunning. everyone was firing on all cylinders. beautiful retrofuturistic advertisement vibes, very fun play with panels and word balloons while still being readable, there are airships, you know how it is. looooooooove a hardboiled noir.

the Concept of mister x, this horrible awful futuristic city that grinds its citizenry up and spits them out? both figuratively and sometimes literally? love it!!! love a great wounded beast of a city as a character!!!

unforch the "who is mister x" subplot does not resolve in a satisfying way, imo. there's a lot of flip-flopping, there's a lot of options, he ends up being (maybe?) someone he was very definitively proven NOT to be in an earlier issue, and it really soured me on the whole experience. and also i don't believe it! that specific person makes no fucking sense! who mister x is, is by far the least interesting part of the series. tell me more about how he's fixing the city. show me more of the city. shut up and dance, robot artists

-

watching

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016, dir. Singer). this movie did not need to be two and a half hours long. appreciated the EXTREMELY divorced energy from charles & erik though, quicksilver rescuing the school scene was also very fun. my bestie's husband has informed me we are NOT watching Dark Phoenix, i'm not sure if we're going to loop back and watch the ??? number of wolverine films or if we're going to see how i feel about deadpool. bc i find this character insufferable through clips only.

-

playing

there is a feature in the video game genshin impact to turn your World Level (TM) down in order to make overworld enemies a little easier. i am at seven out of nine bc i genuinely can't finish the boss to unlock world level 9, and i am finding some of the overworld enemies too hard at 8 and want to finish the achievements in a more relaxed fashion.

-

making

this is going to be a lot of previously posted pics so bear with me.

saturday morning/saturday evening. plants? repotted. porch and stairs? swept. old wasp nests? knocked down. different mirror on the porch to go out to the curb when i have the energy? yes. also a giant slab of engineered stone from the top of a dresser but that's out of frame.

speaking of the giant broken dresser that was in my apartment when i moved in just over a year ago, i ripped it apart with a crowbar and threw it in the dumpster. put my pretty zebrawood desk in the empty space and started thinking about what to hang on that wall. the wall across from it is maps, bc i think a cozy office should have lots of maps and it makes a good video conference background. maybe this will be the dedicated cowboy nonsense wall. i did so much dusting and vacuuming and mopping and the girls can't even hang out in here bc the orange boy is in the office bathroom. big sigh.

also a lot of driving around and emailing and calling thirty shelters and rescues figuring out how to get this orange man a home. please take this orange man off my hands.

[mentalisill]

what space name did we as a fandom decide for scar???????????

cause if grain is the sun you could totally do some star close to the Sun like Proxima Centauri (This one is more me enjoying space, and I have compared Scar to this specific star in a 3rdlife fic before)

Although Scott is The Stars, and Proxima Centauri is long and I get not wanting to use it

We could finally use the comet/metor name that people tried to use for Martyn before Mars stuck

Or (my personal favorite) we can call him Mercury, not only is Mercury the closest planet to the sun, but it's the name and symbol of the Roman god Mercury (or the Greek God, Hermes) the god of communication, trickery, financial gain (among other stuff). The planet itself shares symbolism for communication.

All i'm saying is we have no much potential for Scar here, I know the fandom was wanting to call the winner Venus and it would be pretty ironic for the guy who had no friends to be named after a symbol for love, but I think we can do a lot better

[ribinapan]

meteorgazing

hello everybody here is an original piece of writing i was kinda proud of bc im trying to post on social media more.

prompt - aliens receive signals from Us (as in the US)

they are from proxima b and i will give more worldbuilding info if yall interested ok here we go :’)

--

one - meteorgazing

---------------------------------------------

notes -

opi - (two earth days)

rings - (eleven earth days)

---------------------------------------------

We get a lot of meteors.

Reason 50678 the surface isn’t safe-- no atmosphere means no pushback. Rocks hurtling from the sky aren’t quite uncommon. There’s not much damage to anything but what they hit. Of course, while it’s scary to watch, it doesn’t do much but cause a roofquake-- a rumbling beginning from the Seeing Dome to the rest of the tunnels. There’s been some incidents, some injuries and some deaths- like everything, it’s something swept away as a horrible- but normal- natural disaster, and most of the time it’s not much more than a little shiver. Really. People in the city at the time tend to gather just to watch. There’s something memorizing about watching a hurtling ball of rock slam into the face of our planet at high speeds while completely ablaze.

Even with the commonplace activity of gathering in the center of the city to watch space rocks fall dangerously close to our Seeing Dome, however, I never thought we would go so far as to make a surface dome just to watch one of the biggest showers yet to date. It was dangerous enough as is-- really, it was-- so I wasn’t particularly interested to watch in any case- yes, a little bit curious about it, but the feeling was quickly stomped out by fear and replaced with a sense of resignation. There was always Holowatch-- a projected hologram from your home holodevice to show you the news-- mostly surface stuff, or from City Twenty, where the biggest political station we had throughout the cluster of cities was placed.

But then there was Ama. Ama, with his bright eyes and his huge grin, practically shivering with excitement as he rushed me in line to get a ticket. We didn’t have enough money for the usual, so he entered us into contests basically any chance he got-- I wasn’t worried, and no way by all the gods would they curse me so much by--

“Elli! I got it-- look, I got two!” Tickets waved in the air for the first ever surface dome built specifically for watching meteor showers in our tunnel, I felt my heart sink as I made eye contact with Ama, beaming more than I had ever seen before.

There was something about Ama and his excitement that just pulled you in and shoved away your rationality. The way he smiled made you feel like you had to do anything to preserve it-- maybe because it was so hard to get him like this, maybe because love blinds you to even the stupidest of ideas. I flattened my sweatshirt against my chest nervously and grinned back, taking my ticket out of his hand. Three rings until disaster and we had free tickets to watch.

For the next three rings, every opi I woke up to a message about strange noises coming from a sector we call Terra, holding a planet that astronomers deemed safest and most habitable for intelligent life like us. Or about giant meteor showers. Or about how rare we are to get huge rocks falling from the sky hurtling at the surface in a desperate attempt to show us the way to our doom and them staying the size they do. And it was adorable, really. Usually it was me, and usually it was seventy messages about something boring from me, and so with a sense of duty I read everything Ama sent and poured as much excitement into a response as I could. 

We’re going to die! Screamed my brain, but by the sun god was I dumb enough to be happy to go along with it.

We weren’t the only tunnel with a surface dome ready for the watching, either. City Twenty had the biggest, and far on the other side of the Habitation Line was 9296- the longest lasting surface dome with even a small bit of surface travellers living on it. Of course, they had underground homes to sleep in, but they spent most of their waking hours up on the surface. Everyone knew about it, and Ama swore he wanted to be one of them one day. I wondered how it’d feel to be watching this from there-- normal? Did they see meteor showers all the time? Were they afraid it might hit the dome every time they saw one screeching towards them faster than an Aquatrain? Not for the first time and definitely not for the last, I closed my eyes to sleep before we went up to our tunnel’s first surface dome with only one thought, an absolute certainty: oh my gods, we’re going to die.

When I woke up, I found myself wandering to Ama’s home with an even stronger sense of resignation and a desire to not be alone with it. Immediately upon arrival, I was met with the most excited four-eyed gaze I’ve ever been locked in-- and there it went again, I knew I was going to do this and be just fine with it.

His chatter continued, rising as the time got closer to head up to the surface dome, and often I found myself opening my mouth to share a fact just to keep him going.

“Did you know space tastes like rubusberries?” I heard myself saying, “Do you think the rocks taste like that, too?” He stopped for a moment, frozen on the sidewalk on our way to the train to the surface dome just to stare at me. Bubbling up with laughter, he tossed his head forward in a snort,

“Are you planning to taste the meteor, Elli?” My face heated up in embarrassment, but I bit my tongue and then shot back a response. “Maybe! I mean, it’s good research! A lot of things can be identified through taste!” “Local child just up and dies because they went outside to taste a space-rock.” “At least I’d know if it tasted like rubusberries!”

Rubusberries stayed the topic for a bit longer, the topic clinging to our tongues until it faded away into excited shivering as we stepped in line for the train. It hit me like a solar flare, making me bubble with anticipation that I really was excited, too- I wanted to see it, and I wanted to see Ama see it. The voice screaming ‘we’re going to die!’ finally dulled down to a whisper in the back of my mind.

Hey, at least it’ll be interesting.

Once on the aquatrain, I watched the train-tunnel fill with water as Ama listened to the rest of the train’s quiet, excited chatter. My hands gripped the edges of my seat as I watched it slowly bubble up above my window, bracing myself for the kickback of the train shooting through the water. It was interesting technology, really, but the amount of malfunctions I’d read about had me uneasy every time I was on one. One glance at Ama told me he didn’t as much as I did- if at all- so I bit my tongue and watched as the train suddenly lurched forward, shooting through the water and up towards the surface.

Here we go.

Suddenly, there was a chaotic ball of energy at my shoulder, pressing his hand against the window as we watched ourselves shoot up towards the danger, up towards new experiences and life on the surface yet to come.

“It’s funny we’re going full circle. Surface to underground to surface.” I murmured.

“Now we know what we’re doing. We hadn’t evolved enough before. The sun god knew we’d kill ourselves up there.” He replied simply, and the casual tone of his voice made me choke on laughter.

“Then why are we going up there now?” “To prove him wrong out of spite!” Cheered Ama, leaning over me to press both hands against the window. “Look, there it is!”

Look I did, and like he said, there it was. A giant, metallic door that looked unopenable by any number of Centaurians, and yet it slid open and let the water slosh to the side as the train pressed forward and through it, coming to land and slide against the top of the tunnel as we made our way to the surface dome entrance.

I won’t lie. I screamed.

“Elli. Elli, we’re fine! This is how trains work! Elli!” Climbing the rest of the way to the entrance was much less scary, as there were stairs and stairs are solid and won’t explode under too much water pressure, certainly since there’s no water. A muffled voice boomed over speakers we couldn’t see, giving us directions we couldn’t hear-- and then the crowd started moving, so we followed. Metallic doors that looked a little more manageable by Centaurian hands slid open with a slow, painful screech in front of us- and there it was, above the slope we were climbing: another Seeing Dome. This one above the tunnels.

Ama basically squealed-- and as I was jerked away from the line by excited hands, we pushed our way to the front as Ama stared at the stars above us. Closer than ever now, our feet hit red dust and we looked up to see the sky now only separated by a dome and not red rock all around us. It felt scarily empty-- up here, there were no tall walls or caves all around us. From every angle, there was sky.

“This is literally amazing.” He breathed beside me. “Yeah.” I said back with much less air, absolutely slammed by a feeling of sheer surrealism. You could see so far-- the dark line and the light line, where the heat and cold gods warred from afar. The horizon was much more beautiful in person than in pictures.

“Elli, look!” We were now the only people standing by the entrance, the others wandering to the edges of the Seeing Dome to get a better look. To my absolute dismay, however, what should’ve been the safest spot to stand-- right beside the exit-- was where a small meteor was heading, sending itself straight at us. 

Ama watched it with wide eyes. I watched it with a wince. It was beautiful-- it really was, watching them streak the sky, and the surface, and our Safety Dome, but watching it hit with a Clank! still gave me a shiver.

Wait.

Wrinkling my nose as I squinted up at it, I tugged Ama’s hand as my feet began to move on their own. Following it as the burning ball of-- well, whatever it was, slid towards an unoccupied side of the Dome, Ama stumbled behind me. “Elli, where are we going? We’re going to miss the rest of it!” “It shouldn’t have made that noise.” I said back, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Elli, you’re nuts.” “It was metallic. It clanked. Ama, it clanked. That’s not a meteor. That’s something someone made.”

And suddenly we were both speeding towards it, Ama whooping and me with my head spinning, stumbling and hitting the side of the dome as we stared down at a mess of melted metal and a white substance bearing a strange, rectangular logo-- red stripes and a blue corner, with what looked like misshapen stars decorating the blue bit. Strange text in bold letters sat above it, smeared and burnt as the capsule remained aflame.

“ALIENS!” Ama shrieked, jumping up and down. He punched my shoulder. “Take that, everybody! ALIENS!!!”

We weren’t the only ones who found something.

Holowatch was projected all over the city as capsules popped up all over the planet. 9296 got two. City Twenty got one. Another surface dome found half of one. Cities were rushing to build more or get Centaurians on the surface to find more. They came with garbled audio-- messages we couldn’t understand. But what sent everyone reeling was the one we found-- it was the sound of another animal, not the intelligent life that kept trying to talk to us. Something big-- something that sounded like our own creatures, a series of clicks, whistles and pulsed calls. Biologists rushed to identify it-- but it was soon determined not to be one of our own, just something close. It was big, most likely lived underwater, but used the same noises ours did to get around-- they used sound for navigation.

There was no doubt about it, there was life on Terran.

“We discovered aliens.” Ama wouldn’t stop saying. “Not us.” “We found it first!” “9296 found theirs thirty-two blinks before we found ours.”

“Second! We discovered aliens second!” “...Fine. Second.” “Aliens, Elli!”

“I hear you, Ama.” I said with fake exasperation, watching him pace around his room. 

“We found it. We should get to see what they do with it.” “We are literally children, they weren’t going to let us help.” I said slowly, eyeing him suspiciously as he stopped walking across the room. He looked up at me and grinned.

“Am-- no. No, absolutely not. Whatever you’re thinking is a big, fat, nope.”

He continued grinning, taking a step towards me as his expression melted into something akin to affection mixed with excitement. The mischief was there-- I could see it. Feel it. But rationality slipped away as he grabbed my shoulder. “Let’s just try to sneak around. It’s not like we’ll even get anywhere with it!”

I let out a heavy sigh as I quietly threw my life into ruin. I unleash the sun god upon you, aliens. Why do you do this to me?

“...Fine.”

[shipaholic]

Omens Universe, Chapter 13 Part 2

Nearly made it to Alpha Centauri!

Warnings for this chapter: the terrifying vastness of space; vertigo; and more child endangerment than we’ve seen so far.

Link to next part at the end.

(From the beginning)

(last part)

(chrono)

---

Chapter 13, cont.

Of all the infinite spaces they’d found themselves in recently, this one truly made each of them feel small.

Nebulae crackled in the corner of their eyes. Comets sparked across the heavens like distant fireworks. There were stars, billions upon billions of stars, a riotous tumble of them. And planets, cold and grand, passing by like ships.

Aziraphale had never been here before. For the life of him, he had no idea why. No - perhaps he was afraid of the vastness. Of feeling engulfed.

He leaned, half-consciously, towards Crowley. Their fingers brushed. Slowly, as if moving underwater, Crowley gripped Aziraphale’s hand.

Aziraphale tore his eyes away from the magnitude of space and looked at Crowley. He was in profile, lips slightly parted. His eyes shone with starlight. Aziraphale wanted to kiss him and keep watching him forever. He remembered Crowley had probably seen this room before. Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of years in the past. Perhaps it hit him harder to come back than Aziraphale to see it for the first time.

“Did I ever mention I helped build some of these?” Crowley whispered.

“Yes, dear,” Aziraphale whispered back. His heart brimmed over.

He happened to know the only part of Her creation missing from this room was the Earth. That was because it was on the top floor. He saw it the last time he presented his weekly report to Gabriel, floating in the air like a large, sedate disco ball. They would all use it in three days' time to transport themselves to Earth for Armageddon. Every angel in Christendom, pouring out of the sky.

Aziraphale peered around. There didn’t seem to be much of a filing system in here. Maybe all he had to do was…

“Alpha Centauri?” he said.

It was like going for a gentle stroll and accidentally stepping off a skyscraper.

Space lurched. The detritus of the universe streaked towards him, and past him before he could think about screaming. Two blue dots came out of the darkness like all-knowing eyes that meant the end of all things. They expanded until they were the size of suns, filling his vision, pinning him under their gaze, until with a heart-stopping wrench -

It all stopped.

Space was still again. The binary star system of Alpha Centauri lay before them, winking blue.

Aziraphale shook off the feeling he’d just freefall dived from a million miles up. He glimpsed Crowley’s face, and got a sudden idea of what it must have felt like for him, before all this happened. The Fall. He squeezed Crowley’s hand. Crowley’s eyes were glazed. Slowly, he came back to himself and squeezed back.

Aziraphale remembered, a fraction later than he should have, to check on Adam.

The boy’s face was white with exhilaration. “Wicked,” he whispered to himself.

Spacedog yipped and scratched his flank with his cybernetic back leg. His ears jiggled inside his fishbowl helmet. He didn’t look impressed. Aziraphale supposed he was made for this environment. Then he went back to deliberately ignoring Spacedog, because while Spacedog’s existence was remarkable, Aziraphale found him far too ridiculous to dwell on.

“We want Proxima Centauri B,” he said.

This time they all braced themselves. There was a relatively short, painless lurch forward as the room zoomed in on the planet orbiting one sun, Proxima Centauri. The planet was pockmarked like porous stone. It turned ponderously in the light from its star.

“Oh!” Crowley leaned forward in wonder. He pointed down at the craggy little planet. “I remember this! This one was one of mine.”

Aziraphale watched him puff out his chest and smiled.

“Yup. I totally helped with this one. Well. I looked over the plans. Well. I graffitied a rude word in some space dust.” Crowley paused. “They probably took it out.”

“How lovely,” Aziraphale said, dryly.

This was it. Triumph rang through his head. He was about to become an outer space fugitive. He couldn’t believe they’d got this far. There was only one step left, and they were home free. Or… not home. Not yet. But definitely free.

“Crowley, do you trust me?”

Crowley’s head snapped round. “That’s a funny question at this stage,” he said, sounding perturbed.

“Sorry. I need to be sure, though, or this next part won’t work.”

Crowley’s golden eyes regarded him.

“I trust you, angel.”

Aziraphale turned to face him. Crowley did the same, mirroring him. Aziraphale caught his other hand, holding them both, bare and gloved.

“Fuse with me.”

Relief lifted Crowley’s face.

“Oh, thank Satan. I was worried for a moment.”

Aziraphale gave a chuckle. “Sorry for being dramatic. I wasn’t -”

He broke off. He hadn’t been sure. If Crowley had truly forgiven him, yet. It would be understandable if he needed more time.

Apparently not. Crowley was attempting to loosen up in the receptionist’s tailored trousers. He stretched his inhumanly bendy spine, wiggled his snaky hips. It would have been rather alluring if Crowley wasn’t, as Aziraphale well knew, an awful dancer. It still was quite alluring, actually.

“Remember how to do this?” Crowley grinned.

“Of course. Like riding a velocipede.”

Crowley groaned and laughed. He began… a kind of shimmy, Aziraphale supposed. It was very wriggly. It had a slight drunk-wedding-guest-cum-gay-bar aspect, not that he’d been to a wedding or a gay bar in over eighty years.

Now that push came to shove, he felt rather foolish doing this in front of an audience. He avoided looking anywhere near Adam and broke into a modified Gavotte.

They danced towards each other. They were taking it slower than the urgency of the situation asked for, if he was being honest. But it was thrilling, the build up without touching, the coy flashes of eye contact. Aziraphale felt Crowley’s body heat through his silk blouse. Crowley’s long, skinny chest wiggled inches away from him. His gem glowed softly, like it was warming up.

Aziraphale clasped his arm, and his own gem flared.

They melted together.

Zadkiel stumbled out, wide-eyed and flushed.

“Wow. I need to get a room.”

He noticed Adam.

“Ummmm. Hello there. We’ve sort-of met, sort-of haven’t. I’m Zadkiel.” He held out his hand.

Adam glared as he took it. Some weird grown-up stuff had just happened, and he was ready to zip away from it at the speed of light.

“They just… turned into you,” he said.

“Yup.”

“They’re really bad dancers.”

“So am I!”

“Right. Why’d they do that, then?”

“Well… they’ve been apart for a while, and while they’re not human, as you know, er, I know for your species the whole dancing thing can be something of a mating ritual… has anyone ever given you the Talk?”

Adam looked deeply disgusted.

“Why’d they turn into you?” he asked, in slow, measured tones.

“Oh! So they can’t track us.” Zadkiel flashed a grin. “The people we’re running away from can tell whenever Aziraphale or Crowley use their powers - their alien powers, that is - but I don’t show up on their, errr, alien scanner things. So they can’t follow us to Proxima Centauri.”

This was going to require a lot of discipline, he realised. If they wanted to be good intergalactic space fugitives - and Zadkiel absolutely did - there would have to be no more performing of miracles unless fused from now on. One thoughtless snap of the fingers from either of them, and it would all be over. Zadkiel hoped the other two were up to it.

He squared up to the orbiting planet below.

“Enough explanation. It’s time to go. Are you ready?”

Adam nodded. The blue lights of Alpha Centauri shone in his eyes.

“Brilliant. Hold on to my arm and don’t let go no matter what.”

Adam scooped up Spacedog,[1] along with the Book, and looped his spare arm through Zadkiel’s. He may have shown up unexpectedly, but he was a reassuringly large presence.

Zadkiel performed the ritual on himself and Adam. Nobody needed to leave their gems behind accidentally at this stage. He guessed it would be messy in Adam’s case.

“Here we go -”

Zadkiel reached out.

His fingertips dissolved as they neared the planet. Then his whole body melted into a stream of atoms, and this really was a freefall, dimensions compressing around him, his body stretching back miles, stars streaking across his vision. He was made of mist and he was rushing through a cold tunnel faster than any living thing had ever moved

~*~

They popped out at the other end, mouths agape like fish.

The first thing was the silence.

It was crushing and absolute. It was the silence of a void. A sea of darkness full of pinpricks of light that only made the darkness more infinite. He remembered, from two different perspectives, rowing across a lake that had been like this.

Then, the planet.

It spread out below him. A hard, mountainous, canyon-pocked waste-scape. He could see where it curved, the crescent of light like the rind of an orange. He could see the shimmering corona of its atmosphere. He could see the granite and sandstone and marsh-coloured patches of its body, all merging like a paintbox left out in the rain.

He had never seen anything like it. A new world. Untouched. Alien.

He had to admit it was a cracking view.

Adam’s fingers dug into his arm. The green dog yipped at a hysterical pitch.

Zadkiel looked down at the boy and noticed the third thing.

Adam gasped for breath that wouldn’t come. He stared into Zadkiel’s eyes, terrified, as his lips turned blue.

---

[1] Neither of Zadkiel’s components knew what to make of the dog. They’d each secretly hoped that fusing would bring some wisdom on the subject. Zadkiel was happy to report: nope. The dog thing was really weird.

(Link to next part)

[on-stardust-wings]

So I'm having thoughts about Alpha Centauri, and I haven't seen any of them mentioned anywhere, so here goes.

It's a common theme in fics that Crowley has some sort of personal attachment to Alpha Centauri, that maybe he made it, and that he really wanted to go there. I'm not saying it's a bad trope. I've read very cool fics about them going for a trip to Alpha Centauri after Armageddon together.

I think we're reasonably safe to assume Crowley has been to Alpha Centauri as an angel. He knows that it's always nice this time of year. Now, it is a fairly flippant statement, but we know he helped built a nebula, so maybe he happened to pass by Alpha Centauri on his way to work or something. Maybe he helped make it as well. He doesn't say, but he might have.

The other common theme about Alpha Centauri is the "it's a binary star system, two stars locked in orbit around each other, and that's a metaphor for their relationship".

Science geek me isn't quite satisfied reading that one, because it's a triple star system. Alpha Centauri A and B are more or less sun-sized stars orbiting a common center. They're pretty close together (their orbits would fit into the Sun/Pluto orbit, which really is pretty close for two stars). They're orbited by the third star of the system, the red dwarf Proxima Centauri. It's called "Proxima" because it's the closest star to Earth. Out of the three components, Proxima is also the only one currently confirmed to have planets. It has two of them.

And that's an interesting thing, isn't it? It's the star closest to Earth. Crowley says, while trying to talk Aziraphale into leaving with him "lots of spare planets up there, nobody will even notice us". Lots of spare planets. The system he picks has two. By now, surveys for exoplanets have found lots of systems with planets, including systems with planets in their stars' habitable zone.

The system he picks has one potentially habitable planet. It's also, far as running away goes, a very interesting choice. Let's run away from Heaven and Hell, as far as the nearest planet we can reach! ... Because that's it! It's the nearest planet. Not one that's far away, hidden in the far and wide stretch of the cosmos where nobody can ever find them. As far as running away goes, on a cosmic scale, Alpha Centauri is like running away from the law and moving in next door instead of fleeing the county. Surely nobody will find you here? One house down the road. Yeah, seems perfectly safe. Very good running away you're doing.

It goes even further than that. Alpha Centauri A and B are visible to the naked eye from Earth. (Proxima is too dim.) If you were to live on Proxima's planet, A and B would be the brightest objects in the sky at night by far, but know what would also easily be bright enough to see? The Sun. Our Sun. As a main sequence star a measly four lightyears away, it would be one of Proxima Centauri's brightest night sky objects. You can't only see Alpha Centauri from Earth, you will also see Earth's Sun from Alpha Centauri.

My point here is, Crowley doesn't choose a far away system to run away to, as would be probably smart. If you're running away from Heaven and Hell, run away as far as you can. Instead, Crowley wants to run away just the bare minimum he has to. Just far enough to reach the next best star.

He doesn't choose a safe place to run away to. He chooses a place to run away to from where he will be able to see Earth. It'll be in his sky, every night. And if it goes up into a big puddle of burning goo, the flash of the explosion will spark on Proxima Centauri's sky like a supernova. Crowley will be able to see the end of Earth. From a distance, yes, but it will be impossible to miss. Depending how the war goes, how long it lasts, the Heavenly and Hellish fires burning up the Earth might last month, years, centuries. And all this time, the spot in Crowley's chosen sky where his former home planet was will burn bright and clear. Even without fighting, even after having run, he'll bear witness. He'd be unable not to.

I think Crowley didn't pick a star system he worked on eons ago, when he was still an angel. No, he picked the closest thing to Earth, the closest thing to the planet he loves, that he lived on for 6000 years, where he became the person he is now, where he met the only other being he wants to share his life with. He picks the closest thing to home.

To go to to watch home burn. All his plans to stop it have failed. He's lost hope. He can only run. He wants to take his most important person along, but not really to a safe place. It's a safer place, yes, by a margin, but it's also a place where they can continue to do what they've done together for 6000 years. Bear witness to Heavenly and Hellish atrocities committed on Earth. Like they bore witness to the Flood and the Crucification. They might not be able to stop it, but they'll witness it, lighting up the sky from the closest vantage point in the entire universe.

Crowley doesn't pick Alpha Centauri because it has a lot of personal meaning to him. He picks it because Earth means a lot to him, and even if he leaves, he doesn't go far.

Excuse the angst. To end not on a bleak note, I have another point to add: remember the thing about the three stars, not two? Remember the relationship metaphor? Suggestion for a new metaphor: the two main stars, A and B, are Crowley and Aziraphale, closely orbiting each other. The third star, always bound to both of them, is Earth/humanity. To say Alpha Centauri is a binary star system leaves out the constant push and pull of the third star on both of them. The system is only stable, and accurately described, if you consider the influence of the third component. Proxima Centauri is a vital component of the Alpha Centauri star system, and Crowley and Aziraphale wouldn't work the same way, maybe not at all, without the gravitational pull of Earth and its humans.

[orangepanic]

I posted 1,418 times in 2021 - my first year on tumblr!

506 posts created (36%)

912 posts reblogged (64%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.8 posts.

I added 1,242 tags in 2021

#irosami - 282 posts (surprise! who's surprised? I am)

#iroh ii - 274 posts

#asami sato - 240 posts

#tlok - 227 posts

#fanfic - 59 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#general iroh of the fire nation looks at the inept government next door and is over this shit. time to end the experiment that was the ur.

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

The non-bender bonding we all deserved.

91 notes • Posted 2021-08-03 04:04:31 GMT

#4

Royal Firebenders + Stars: The Next Generation

Ok ok ok ok you guys... so what if I asked @monochrome-swirl to make some bonus art to extend their series Royal Firebenders + Stars to include Izumi and Iroh II? And what if they agreed? And the results were AWESOME?!?!

Royal Firebenders + Stars: Izumi

Izumi is here with a red dwarf star. Red dwarf stars burn at lower temperatures than many other stars, making them long-lived and stable. Examples include Proxima Centauri and Barnard's Star.

See the full post

103 notes • Posted 2021-05-14 00:33:28 GMT

#3

Underrated friendship.

116 notes • Posted 2021-11-14 04:14:11 GMT

#2

"I'm Keeping Her"

133 notes • Posted 2021-11-21 17:37:09 GMT

#1

The moment you re-read an old fic and think wow, I like this, wish the author would write more! and then realize it's yours and you have complete control over this.

226 notes • Posted 2021-09-07 03:55:29 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

Ok there’s tons of cute art and fic and metas our there connecting Crowley’s past as a star maker to the star he wanted to run away to and the romance of Alpha Centauri being two stars that orbit each other and it’s all really sweet, but I can’t help thinking...

Y’all know Alpha Centauri is a triple star system right?

Alpha Centauri A (Rigil Kentaurus), Alpha Centauri B (Toliman) and Alpha Centauri C (Proxima Centauri).

A and B form the super romantic pairing.

C is a red dwarf, orbits much farther out (closer to Earth), isn’t visible to the naked eye, and is the one that actually has confirmed planets in the habitable zone.

Like, I honestly don’t know what romantic thing you can do with this information but i honestly love the sort of angsty/unrequited romance feel of it which doesn’t seem like a good fit for this ship (more of an OT3 thing? Or some kind of identity thing idk?) but I’m just saying if anyone pulls it off idk tag me and I’ll name a cat after you in the future.

[creepy-crawley-crowley]

The Stars Welcome Him - Crowley x Male Demon Reader

Is wasn't requested, it just occurred to me. Yeah. I love space, okay?

Me and @fortune-fool02 both wrote a version if this fic, so go check theirs out. They're a really good writer as well!

I JUST REALLY LOVE SPACE

(That, my good friends, is The Grand Nebula. Amazing, isn't it? But also amazingly destructive.)

It wasn't a secret that Crowley liked space. In fact he loved it, but he also wanted to share it with someone. Aziraphale had...refused, in a way (you go too fast for me, Crowley), and he knew of nobody else that would go with him.

But then again, he did know someone, and that someone was Y/N, another demon, another fallen Angel, one with the darkest red wings, with feathers like blades. When Y/N had been an Angel, he watched over War. He gave his feathers to unknowing humans, and they used them as swords, and now bullets.

Y/N had wanted to fall. He watched over War and had soon learned that Angels were worse than their counterparts. And so he had disobeyed, questioned, and fallen.

He had, however, also fallen.

And he had fallen in every sense of the word. He had fallen from Heaven, but he had also fallen for Crowley.

Now, Y/N and Crowley weren't dating. Not really. It had never been confirmed by either if them and neither had really asked the other out, but it was all there. And as cheesy as it were, neither if them really knew. Everyone except the two knew.

Crowley wanted to take Y/N to see Alpha Centauri. He helped create it. He wanted Y/N to see the beauty if what he had made, his own little paradise.

Every Demon had an animal assigned to them. Beezlebub had their flies, Hastur his Frog, and Ligur his Chameleon. Crowley had the Snake. Y/N had a Raven. A large, black, intimidating Raven perched on his shoulder at all times.

A raven, or a crow, was often seen as a sign of death, and it was true. Y/N collected damned souls, and sent them to Hell. He travelled wherever his work took him, he dealt with more important souls, and his ravens dealt with less important souls.

However, Y/N was having a week off. His ravens could deal with the work, there was enough of them.

There was a sudden knock at Y/N's door, and he answered it, knowing who it was.

"Crowley, took ya long enough." Y/N smiled, wrapping Hus arms around the serpentine demon. Crowley chuckled quietly, returning the embrace, and then he pulled away, taking Y/N's hand, and leading them outside, to his Bentley.

"I'm taking you on a trip." Crowley stated, and Y/N raised an eyebrow, questioning. "Alpha Centauri, it'll be fun. It's lovely this time of year." He explainer, and Y/N grinned.

Y/N knew about Crowley's previous occupation, and therefore knew about Alpha Centauri. "Oh, really? It's about time. Let's go!" He chirped excitedly, the Raven on his shoulder flapping, mirroring Y/N excitement.

Crowley started the Bentley, and off they went. He drove out of the city, past Tadfield, into endless fields. This is where they stopped. Both got out of the car, and they headed, hand in hand, away from the road, away from sight.

"Crow, how are we gonna get there?" Y/N asked, and Crowley smirked.

"A miracle, duh." Crowley chuckled, and he snapped his fingers.

Y/N suddenly couldn't breathe. It wasn't an issue, though, because he could just miracle some oxygen up, and ta-da, he could breathe again. There was also the issue of keeping his corporeal body together, so that used another miracle. He then looked around, and was awestruck.

Alpha Centauri was actually a star, so Crowley had moved them to Proxima Centauri b, a nearby exoplanet that was in the habitable zone of Proxima Centauri, a red dwarf star. Alpha Centauri and Beta Centauri were both visible in the clear sky. Well, technically there was no sky, as there was no atmosphere, but it could be called a sky.

More distant stars glittered and glimmered in the distance, dotted around like glowing freckles, and if Y/N looked hard enough, he could spot the Sun, the very sun that Earth orbited, and he grinned.

Faint Nebulae were visible, just about, and so were nearly invisible Supernovae. Y/N marvelled at the sight, and then turned to Crowley, tears in his eyes.

"Thank you for bringing me here, Crowley." Y/N whispered, and Crowley smiled ever so slightly, and wrapped a jet black wing around Y/N's smaller body. Y/N brought out his wings too, and spread them out, blood red, razor blade feathers obscuring the sky behind them, but it didn't matter because nobody was looking behind them.

"I've always wanted to bring someone here. I wanted people to see what I had created, I wanted them to see that I'm not just a demon. I used to be an angel too. I created these stars, these planets, these nebulae." Crowley mumbled, standing up. Y/N stood too. "I don't just make trouble." Crowley added. Y/N nodded.

"No, you made something beautiful. People will look out at all this for years and years to come, and although they don't know you did this, they will marvel at your work." Y/N smiled at Crowley. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yeah. Yeah it is."

Taglist:

@dekahg @meganlpie @whatawildone @highfunctioningfangirl19 @steampowerednightvaler @alexa-lightwood-blog

[lineffability]

For the fic ask: 1, 3, & 5!

favorite fic you wrote this year

I’m quite fond of this one and this one, and another I haven’t actually written, but which remains in my head, somewhat

favorite line/scene you wrote this year

There is a magic trick that time plays with light.

It shows you the light of fires that have long since burned out. If you are looking at the night sky, at dark velvet spangled with millions of stars, you are looking at the past. And then the light fades and is forever gone. But you, you have witnessed it. You have been there, on this day, in this time, long after the stars sent you their love–and exploded.

Time shows you ghosts.

Crowley is thinking of ghosts.

If you look at the sun, what you see is the sun as it was eight minutes ago. So little time, so much distance. Eight minutes for light to travel into your eyes.

From Proxima Centauri, the red dwarf outlier burning up around the Alpha Centauri star system, it’s four light years. From the Pleiades cluster, four hundred. Light travels for four hundred years to show you ghosts.

most popular fic this year

a drabble of Aziraphale being introduced to Crowley's plants  

[ravenqueensspecialboi]

Write Your Letters in the Sand

A gift for @cinnamon-freckles as a part of @dailyhaikyuu‘s Secret Santa!  I hope you enjoy!

Ship: DaiSuga Rating: T Word Count: 6,089 Summary: Sawamura Daichi and the crew of the Fukurokuju left Earth on December 29th, 2039.  They came back 87 years later to a planet they no longer recognize, but with inhabitants who recognize them. Tags: Time Travel AU, Space AU, Somewhat Scientifically Accurate Time Travel, Fluff, Comfort, Light Angst with a Happy Ending Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17238368

Fic under the cut!

Operation: Fukurokuju.  Mission Description: Deep Space Exploration to Proxima Centauri b. Launch Date: December 29th, 2039. Launch Time: 14:35.  Mission Director: Ukai Ikkei.  Mission Commander: Sawamura Daichi.

It was a cold, gray morning when Sawamura Daichi awoke early on December 29th.  His alarm gently beeped on the night stand as he cracked open one eye and then the other.  He sat up, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and reached over to silence his alarm. The last one he'd been turning off for a while.  Well, on Earth any way.  Today was the day.  Days before his birthday, Sawamura Daichi was going to deep space.

It was an honor to be chosen for this mission.  Operation: Fukurokuju was JAXA's first manned deep space exploration mission, and he was one of eight astronauts to be selected for the team.  In fact, he had been selected for mission commander for this trip.  It wouldn't be Daichi's first trip into space; he had been on three trips to the International Space Station for a total of 90 days in space. But this time, he'd be on a deep space exploration mission, traveling at light speed to an exoplanet trillions of miles from Earth all in the name of data collection and research.  He shivered with excitement as he pulled himself out of bed.  He also shivered with nervous anticipation.

The previous night, Daichi had spent the last night he would ever have with his family.  Trillions of miles of travel meant travelling at light speed in order to reach the planet within the astronaut's lifetime. Travelling at light speed meant that there was a very real possibility of something going very, very wrong.  He didn't want to dwell on it too much, but as he prepared breakfast for one last time, he couldn't help but reflect on the first mission brief all those months ago.

"Our technology should be advanced enough that your ship should stay intact as you travel through light speed," Mission Director Ukai had told the crew on the first day of training, "and the cryogenic pods will help you maintain your body's regular functions."

Ukai had paused then, taking an unsteady breath before he added, "And because of time dilation, we can't guarantee you'll ever see your families again."

Ukai had held up a hand when the cries of shock and protest filled the room.  Once the assembled crew had quieted down, Ukai had continued, "We know that this will come as a surprise to some of you, especially those who may not have as strong of a background in physics.  However, this is a risk anyone who wants to participate in this mission must be willing to take."

"How much time would pass here on Earth?" an astronaut who would later drop the mission asked.

"Proxima b is 4.2 light years away, and you'll be spending three years in orbit around the planet collecting data," Ukai explained.  "It'll then be another 4.2 light years to return to Earth.  Not accounting for the two years in orbit, it might be about 80 years of time on Earth."

Another murmur had rippled through the assembled group.

"I know that the uncertainty of all of this is daunting," Ukai said, "but this is—quite literally—a once in a lifetime opportunity.  You get to work not only with your current generation of scientists, but future generations as well, exploring a planet that we know so little about.  This is a phenomenal opportunity for you all.  If you need to withdraw from the mission, I understand.  But I hope you'll all stay on."

In the end, they had to replace all but four crew members.  Daichi remained on as mission commander, as did his fellow astronauts and lifelong friends Azumane Asahi, Michimiya Yui, and Tanaka Ryuunosuke, the crew's physician, resident geologist and the crew's pilot respectively.  Added to the crew were Hinata Shouyou, Kageyama Tobio, Shimizu Kiyoko, and Ennoshita Chikara.  Hinata would act as their navigator and communications technician, Kiyoko their chief engineer, Ennoshita was an astrophysics researcher who specialized in exoplanets, and Kageyama was the systems operator for the journey.  They each had their specializations, and they knew the risks involved.  Still, they were all prepared to undertake the journey.  Daichi had nothing but respect and admiration for their dedication to space exploration.

After breakfast, Daichi took a quick lap around his apartment.  The place was bare; most of his furniture either left with his family or sold off.  He had been allowed one crate of personal effects, and those had been with JAXA for weeks now.  There was really nothing left for him there, but Daichi couldn't help but felt a twinge in his chest as he stepped into his bedroom for the last time.  His room was the only place with furnishings.  His parents would be by later to pick up his bed and dresser, taking the last of his clothes for donations and selling his remaining furniture off.  Daichi spun in a slow circle, taking in his bedroom, and his eyes fell on a lone picture frame on his dresser.  

He picked it up, turning it over to examine the picture.  It was a picture of his family during a birthday several years ago.  It must have been his sister Miko's birthday, as she was in the center of the photo.  Her wide smile had a missing tooth, placing this photo at her seventh birthday. Akane was seated to her left, his small hand reaching towards the cake, most likely in an effort to steal some frosting while Miko distracted.  Daichi in the picture had his hands resting on Miko's shoulders, eyes closed and head thrown back in laughter.  Neither of his parents were in the picture.  Daichi blinked back the tears that were welling in his eyes.  He knew that he was going to cry, but now wasn't the time.  He had other things to do.   Daichi took the picture out of the frame and folded it gently.  He tucked it into his pants pocket with a gentle pat; JAXA wouldn't mind if he brought along one more thing.

Daichi made his way back to the front room, stopping at the genkan to put on his shoes and his jacket. With one final look at his apartment, Daichi gave it a little wave, then left.  He locked the door, and dropped the key in the mailbox for his parents to find later.  Stepping out of the building into the early morning sun, Daichi checked his watch; 5:30am, just in time to watch the sunrise on the river bank.

It took Daichi about twenty minutes to make it his favorite spot on the river bank.  It was cold, but it wasn't snowing.  It rarely did in the city.  It was cold enough that he'd wished he'd brought a scarf, but he had donated his scarves a while ago.  He picked his way along the river bank, his hands shoved in his pockets as he made his way to a small alcove just behind a large boulder.  It was his favorite spot on the river bank, secluded, peaceful, empty.

Daichi sat on a large rock that sat on the edge of the water.  A gentle breeze ruffled through his short, dark hair as the sky steadily grew lighter and lighter.

"I knew I'd find you here," a familiar voice called.

Daichi turned to watch Azumane Asahi pick his way down the bank towards Daichi.  Daichi moved over to make space for Asahi to sit down. With a quiet grunt, Asahi sat on the rock, his gaze turned towards the sunrise.  They sat in silence for a few minutes, content to watch the clouds turn pink and orange as the sun finally rose over the horizon.

"Whatever you're about to say, keep it to yourself," Daichi said after a moment, reaching down to run a finger through the freezing sand.

Asahi blinked twice, his mouth dropping in shock.

"How did you-?"

"You do it every mission, Azumane," Daichi teased.  "You always make some speech about us blasting off to explore the vast unknown for the betterment of humanity like a sentimental senpai in a manga."

"Pot, meet kettle," Asahi scoffed, giving Daichi a playful shove.  "If anyone in the organization overhypes missions with sentimental speeches, it's you."

"Fair, fair," Daichi said, letting the conversation lapse back into silence. After a few minutes, he gestured for Asahi to speak.

"Oh, so now you want my sentimentality."

"Get on with it, Azumane."

Asahi sighed, pulling his knees up to his chest.  "We're going to be leaving Earth for who knows how long."

Daichi hummed in agreement.

"There's no way we're making it back to Earth while our families are still alive, and who knows what Earth will be like when we get back."

"If we get back."

"I'm trying to be optimistic here," Asahi said, glaring at Daichi.

"Sorry, go ahead."

Asahi nodded, "Thank you.  As I was saying, who knows what Earth will be like when we get back.  And frankly, that scares me.  That absolutely terrifies me.  And I'm scared about what will happen to my parents when I'm gone.  The future is uncertain, and that scares the shit out of me."

Asahi stopped, tears welling up in his eyes.  Daichi reached out and pat Asahi's hand, waiting for him to continue.  After a minute, Asahi wiped his eyes and took a shuddering breath.

"But, I know that things are going to be okay.  I'm going on this mission surrounded by people I've known for years, people that are my friends and that I love.  We're going to be gone for a long time, but I'm not going alone.  I'll be with people who have my back, and I'll have theirs. We're going to be okay."

Daichi pulled his friend into a tight hug.  Asahi wrapped his arms around Daichi without hesitation.  Daichi knew he was crying, and he knew Asahi was crying, but neither of them addressed it.  It would ruin the moment otherwise.

"Come on," Daichi said after a minute, his voice heavy with emotion, "let's go to space."

Daichi helped Asahi off of the rock.  Asahi went first, picking his way back up the bank to the road.  Daichi's gaze dropped to the sand next to the rock.  He had traced his name in the sand, just out of reach of the waves.  One last piece of himself left on Earth.  Daichi turned away and climbed the bank after Asahi.  He had a ship to catch.

***

The mission had been a success, in Daichi's mind, but at the same time, three years in orbit hadn't nearly been enough time to fully study the planet.  Chikara and Yui had found some interesting data on the planet, but they could have found so much more if they were allowed to stay.  The Fukurokuju had very little problems thanks to Kiyoko and Tobio's teamwork, any problem the ship may have had was fixed under their careful scrutiny. Ryuu, finding that his own job wasn't as important during the orbiting stage, learned how to navigate drones to and from the planet's surface.  Daichi, needing something to pass the time, assisted Shouyou in creating star charts and relaying communications back to JAXA.

It wasn't all work onboard the Fukurokuju.  The crew made it a point to send an over-the-top Christmas photo back to Earth once a year along with pictures of birthday parties and zero gravity antics.  As it turned out, Chikara was an excellent filmmaker and spent plenty of time documenting the day to day life of the crew.  The crew also set a record for the most amount of weddings held on a space ship outside of the Milky Way, with Kiyoko and Yui, and Shouyou and Tobio all marrying within one rotation of one another.  Daichi had officiated both weddings, and the crew held a joint reception between the two couples.  The ship's interior had been filled with makeshift decorations that hadn't come down for weeks.

But the three years were up, and the Fukurokuju hurtled back towards Earth at the speed of light.  The ship dropped out of light speed somewhere around Mars and had been on a steady course for Earth for months.  Soon enough, they were approaching Earth.

Shouyou was the first to spot Earth, dragging Tobio over to one of the ship's windows with a loud, "Tobio, you need to see this!"  Tobio tried to resist at first—citing cryopod maintenance as a top priority—but once he caught a glimpse of Earth he froze.  He wrapped an arm around his husband's shoulder and pulled him close, marveling at the blue speck that grew closer and closer.  The rest of the crew was alerted soon after and preparations for atmospheric entry began.  Within a week, the crew was strapping into place and preparing for their descent back to the planet's surface.

"Hey Daichi," Ryuu called from the pilot's chair, "I think you should let Chōfu know we're coming.  Don't want them to think we're aliens or anything."

Daichi rolled his eyes as he pressed a button on the coms board and said, "Chōfu, this is Mission Commander Sawamura Daichi of the Fukurokuju.  We're beginning our descent through Earth's atmosphere.  We'll transmit you our coordinates for pickup once we land. Over."

Silence.  Ryuu looked over at Daichi with an eyebrow raised. The rest of the crew looked on with mild concern.

"Do our coms not work anymore?" Yui asked.

Daichi pressed the button again, speaking louder this time, "Chōfu, do you copy?  This is Mission Commander Sawamura Daichi of the Fukurokuju.  We're beginning our descent and we're requesting pickup on impact.  Over."

More silence.  Then came a crackle from the coms.

"Fukurokuju, we copy," said a calm voice. "We have someone tracking your shuttle now and we'll have someone meet you at your landing point."

The crew let out a cheer of relief.  Daichi sighed as he pressed the button again, "Roger that."

"Oh, and Commander?" the voice said.

"Yes?"

"Welcome home."

Daichi smiled. Satisfied, he sat back in his seat and nodded at Ryuu.

"Alright Ryuu, bring us home," Daichi said.

Ryuu gave Daichi a small salute.  "Yes, sir."

As Ryuu piloted the ship down through the Kármán Line, a well of emotions bubbled up inside Daichi. They had made it, they were home.

***

Touchdown was rockier—or rather, wetter—than the crew anticipated.  The ship overshot land by a few miles and landed in the Pacific Ocean. They'd been lucky that the ship's landing gears included floatation mechanisms, but they still had to wait for several hours for a ship large enough to pick them up from the ocean.  Daichi had radioed Chōfu again, and the person on the other end had laughed hysterically before telling Daichi that a ship was on the way.  The ship that came to get them, however, was something they weren't prepared for.  For starters, it skimmed just above the water.  No, it wasn't skimming.  It was hovering.

The crew gaped as the large gray vessel slowed to a halt in front of them.  It certainly looked like a carrier, but carriers didn't hover like that. They also didn't rise into the air high enough to open the bottom of the hull and pull the Fukurokuju inside using a tractor beam.  It was like something out of a sci-fi novel.

"I'm starting to think that Ukai was onto something with the whole 'time dilation equals time travel' thing," Asahi muttered to Daichi as they stepped off of the Fukurokuju and onto the floor of the now closed hull.

"Well, if you're thinking that it's 2044, then you're right.  Welcome to Earth, circa 2127."

The crew turned to see a group approaching their own.  They were led by a blond man with—surprisingly—piercings and his hair held back by an athletic headband.  Daichi noted that the group following him was all dressed in what appeared to be JAXA uniforms, but one in particular caught his eye.  Standing near the front of the group was the most gorgeous man Daichi had ever seen.  He was Daichi's height with the fluffiest silver hair Daichi had ever seen.  He was toned, Daichi could tell that much from the uniform.  His amber eyes seemed locked on Daichi, and Daichi felt a blush creep across his face. The silver haired man flashed him a quick smirk and Daichi groaned internally.  That was entirely unfair of this stranger; he been in space with people he considered family that he'd forgotten how to cope with attractive people.

Thankfully, the blond haired man stepped in between Daichi and the source of his torment, snapping Daichi out of his stupor.  The man held a hand out to Daichi, "Ukai Keishin.  You worked with my grandfather."

Daichi looked between the man's hand and his face before grasping it.  "Sawamura Daichi.  You look an awful lot like him," Daichi remarked.  "Wait, did you say 2127?"

Ukai shrugged, "We're going to wait to debrief you all until we're back in Chōfu.  We've set up some temporary quarters for you here on the carrier so you can freshen up and all that.  I can't imagine you've had an easy return journey."

There was a murmur of agreement amongst the crew.  Daichi knew he was probably exhausted, but he had questions.

Ukai seemed to sense this as he gave Daichi a weary smile, "Rest up, you'll find out everything you need to know later.  Tsukishima, Yachi, Yamaguchi.  Please escort the crew of the Fukurokuju to their quarters.  Takeda, with me.  The rest of you, back to work."

Two men and a woman stepped away from the group.  The girl, Yachi, pointed out a room for Kiyoko and Yui to while Tsukishima and Yamaguchi led the others to their own rooms.  The doors were opened by handprint, again, something Daichi had only seen in sci-fi.  It was a little unnerving, but then again, he had apparently spent the last 84 years living a sci-fi story, so he really he had no leg to stand on.  Tsukishima—the taller of the two—gave Daichi a solemn nod before turning to let Asahi and the others into their rooms.  As Daichi entered his room, he could hear a voice call down the hallway, "Are these the missing astronauts?"

'Missing?' Daichi thought as the door closed behind him.  'Were we missing?'

Daichi shook his head and surveyed the room before him.  It was the same gray as the rest of the ship, with a tiny window overlooking the ocean. There was a bed, a side bathroom, and a dresser up against one wall.  A single change of clothes had been placed on top of the dresser.  Otherwise, the room was bare.  Daichi crossed to the dresser and picked up the clothes – a T-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"How did they know our sizes?" Daichi wondered aloud.  "Maybe they were still on file or something."

Daichi shrugged his shoulders; one more question to add to the list.  He set the clothes down and stripped off the top of his flight suit. He peeled off the undershirt and dropped it to the floor.

"Excuse me," said a voice from behind him.

Daichi nearly jumped out of his skin, spinning on his heel to glare at the newcomer.  The silver-haired man from before stood in the doorway.  He held up his hands in a placating manner, a wide but sheepish grin plastered on his face.

"Hi, sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said.  "Can I come in?"

Daichi blinked twice, then nodded, "It's, uh… it's okay.  Come in."

The other man lowered his hands as he stepped over the threshold.  He gave the room a once over before returning his attention to Daichi. "My name's Sugawara Koushi," he told Daichi. "I was the one who gave you contacted when you started your reentry and when you landed in the ocean."

"Nice to meet you, Sugawara.  I'm Sawamura Daichi, but I guess you already knew that."

"Call me Suga, all my friends do."

"Alright then. Suga it is."

Suga's face suddenly turned a bright red and he gave a quick cough.  Daichi quirked an eyebrow, then looked down.  His own face flushed as he realized he was still shirtless.  Suga picked up the shirt from the nearby desk and tossed it at Daichi.  Daichi snatched it out of the air and pulled it over his head.  Suga was staring at him and it was making Daichi a little uneasy.

"Thank you for your help by the way," Daichi said as he tugged the shirt into place.

"What?" Suga asked, snapping out of whatever little world he had been in. "Oh, it’s nothing, really.  I imagine it'd be kind of scary to crash land in the middle of the ocean and have no one come pick you up."

"Yeah, it was a little concerning," Daichi agreed.  "Especially since we weren't expecting a helicarrier to come get us."

"A helicarrier?"

"It's from an American superhero movie, don't worry about it," Daichi said.

Suga nodded.  He opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a sudden commotion out in the hallway.  Suga poked his head out of the door and groaned.

"I gotta get going," he said.  "It looks like Nishinoya's trying to make friends in the most destructive way possible."

Suga left before Daichi could say anything, but Daichi figured out what he meant when he looked out into the hallway.  Shouyou, Tobio, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi watched as Ryuu picked up a short man—Nishinoya, maybe?—in a JAXA uniform and lifted him over his head, much to the delight of the man.  Asahi, Chikara, Kiyoko, and Yui were suspiciously absent.

"Wow, 21st Century humans are a lot stronger than I thought they'd be," Daichi could hear him say.

"It's either that, or you're really small," Tsukishima said.

"You got something to say to me, bean pole?" Nishinoya snapped.

"I bet I could pick you up too," Ryuu said, setting Nishinoya down.

Shouyou chanted in response, "Do it, do it, do it!"

"Don't you dare," Tsukishima hissed as he took a step back.

Suga stepped forward at that point, a stern look on his face.  For the briefest of moments, Daichi thought that he was going to put an end to the shenanigans.

"You're gonna hurt your back if you try lifting him.  Let me help you."

Tsukishima gaped at Suga before turning tail and booking it out of the corridor.  Daichi smacked his head against the doorframe; it was going to be a long trip back to land.

***

The following week was a blur of debriefings and press conferences that left Daichi's head spinning. They'd been given rooms at a JAXA owned dormitory—a new feature as of 2115, according to Suga—and then they'd immediately been swept up in debriefings: what happened in the 87 years they were gone, what they experienced in space, general mission debriefs. But then everyone at JAXA wanted to meet with the "missing astronauts" as they were come to be known. Then every other space program wanted a meeting with the crew as well.  As did every news corporation and world politician.  It was a week of press junket after press junket after meeting after press junket.  None of the crew seemed to be handling that part well, but least of all Daichi.  As mission commander, he was the star of almost every interview.  Everyone in the 22nd Century wanted to get to know the man in charge of the Fukurokuju crew.  It was exhausting.

One good thing that came out of all of this was Suga.  Within the span of a week, the man had become a close friend and guide for Daichi and the rest of the crew.  Daichi wasn't sure how, but it felt like he'd known Suga forever, given how seamlessly he blended in with the group.  The century's difference between him and the crew was nonexistent.  He was funny, supportive, informative, and charming. He took the crew out on a tour of Chōfu their first morning back, receiving only a mild reprimand from Ukai once they got back.  He'd bring food for the crew in between press conferences and answer questions about 22nd Century life.  He always had a quip or a joke whenever someone was feeling down.  Daichi had to admit it, he was falling hard and fast. Really, it was hard not to when he made it a point to see Daichi and the crew at least three times a day, including dropping by Daichi's quarters once a day.  Aside from the blossoming feelings of infatuation, Daichi recognized something in Suga.  He was a source of comfort.

This was especially nice after a particularly brutal interview that involved way too many questions about his family and whether or not he'd been in contact with any potential relatives.  Daichi was embarrassed to say that he had stormed out of that interview, but really, who could blame him?  He may have been slowly adjusting to life on Earth almost a century after he'd left it, but his family was still a sensitive spot.  If either of his siblings had had kids, or grandkids, none of them had reached out to him.  Or maybe they had and JAXA hadn't passed on the messages.  Regardless, it wasn't something he wanted to talk about.    

Suga had been waiting for him when he left the press room, his smile fading at the look on Daichi's face. He followed Daichi back to his quarters in silence.  He waited patiently while Daichi opened the door, and then followed him inside. Daichi flopped down onto the bed with a sigh.  Suga remained by the door, tense and silent.

"I don't know how you feel about hugs," Suga began after a minute, "but you sure look like you need one."

Daichi sat up.  He studied Suga for a moment, his eyes roving over Suga's worried expression, his amber eyes flashed with empathy.  Daichi gave Suga a curt nod.  The tension seemed to drop from Suga's shoulders as he approached Daichi.  He pulled Daichi to his feet, then pulled him into a tight embrace that knocked some of the wind out of Daichi's lungs.  Suga, Daichi was pleased to discover, gave fantastic hugs.  Daichi relaxed as he wrapped his arms around Suga's waist and tucked his face into the crook of Suga's neck, the tension of a long week seeping away into nothingness as he just stood there and let himself be held.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Suga whispered.  "But if you need to, I'm here for you."

Daichi took one long, shuddering breath, then exhaled.  "They asked about my family."

"Someone asked Kiyoko and Yui about it in their joint interview the other day," Suga remarked. "You'd think that would be on the 'Don't ask' list, but reporters are nosy."

Daichi snorted, "At least that much hasn't changed since the 21st Century."

They fell back into silence. Suga brought a hand up to run his fingers through Daichi's hair, the other rubbing small circles across his back. Daichi closed his eyes and let himself relax further into Suga's touch.  He could feel himself drifting off in Suga's arms, but he didn't care.  This felt right.  It felt like home.

"Do you wish you hadn't gone?" Suga asked.  "To space, I mean."

Well, wasn't that the question?

"I… don't know," Daichi admitted.  "Part of me wishes that I could have grown with my family, but then again, if I hadn't…"

Daichi trailed off, letting the unspoken then I wouldn't have met you hang in the air.

Suga pulled away from Daichi enough to look him in the eye.  There was a fire there as he said, "Wait here."

"Suga?"

"I'll be right back," Suga told him, pulling away and leaving the room.

Daichi immediately missed Suga's warmth.  With a snap, Daichi realized just how much he craved Suga's company.  He was something familiar in unfamiliar territory, a piece of driftwood in the unknown sea of the 22nd Century.  In less poetic terms, Daichi was fucked.  With a groan, he collapsed back on his bed.  Falling for a guy he had met a week ago was the exact icing on top of the cake of weirdness Daichi had to deal with.

Suga's voice came from the doorway a few seconds later, "Don't fall asleep on me now.  I violated several archival rules to bring you this surprise."

Daichi sat back up as Suga crossed the room to sit next to him.  In his hands was a small JAXA tablet.  Daichi glanced between the tablet and Suga's face.  Suga beamed with excitement as he held the tablet out to Daichi.

"Since your mission was one of the most famous space exploration missions in the last century, everything about your lives was documented," Suga explained as he tapped the screen and held it out to Daichi.  "That included interviews with your families."

Daichi froze, his hand inches from the tablet.  "They interviewed our families?"

"That they did," Suga replied.  "Do you want to see yours?"

Daichi swallowed, tears rolling down his face as he whispered, "Please."

Suga brushed the tears from Daichi's face, the gentle touch more than Daichi could handle at the moment. Suga moved his hand from Daichi's face to his shoulder, then pressed the screen of the tablet.  On the screen were his parents, significantly older than they had been when he had left Earth.

"It's been hard for us, without Daichi," his mother said with tears in her eyes. "But we know that what he's doing is important.  His work has meant so much to him, I'm glad that of all of the people working with JAXA, our Daichi was the one who got to go."

"We're so proud of him, we really are," his father chimed in.  "We like to tell his nieces and nephews that if they look closely, they can track his ship across the night sky."

Daichi's heart skipped a beat; he'd had nieces and nephews.

"If you could tell Mission Commander Sawamura one thing, what would it be?" a voice off-screen asked.

His parents exchanged a loving, but pained look.  Then his mother turned back to the screen and spoke, "We love you, Daichi.  Please come back to Earth safe and sound."

"Name a crater after me if there are any on Proxima b," his father added with a chuckle.

The video ended there. Daichi didn't mind too much that it was a short clip; the tears falling from his eyes obscured the screen anyway. Suga set the tablet to the side and pulled Daichi in for another hug.

"They loved you so much," Suga whispered.  "They were so proud of you, and they loved you so much."

Daichi pressed his face into the crook of Suga's neck.  He took a deep breath and said, "Thank you, Koushi.  I… This means a lot to me."

Suga tensed for a moment, clearly caught off guard by the use of his given name.  For a moment, Daichi worried that he'd crossed a line. After a moment, however, Suga squeezed him tight.

"You're welcome, Daichi."

***

It took six months for the press conferences to finally stop.  By that time, the crew of the Fukurokuju had officially settled into life in the 22 Century.  Yui and Kiyoko had moved out of the dormitory and back to the small town in Miyagi they had grown up in.  They found jobs at the local university, with Yui working in the geology department and Kiyoko taking on a job in the Engineering department.  Shouyou, Tobio and Ryuu stayed on with JAXA, training future astronauts in flight, systems operations and navigation.  Chikara got a job as a science consultant for movies, as well as a teaching position at a local university in Tokyo.  Asahi found work at a local hospital near Chōfu. Daichi also stayed on with JAXA as a mission director, but moved back into his old apartment.  It was bittersweet to come back to it, but it had been his home almost one hundred years ago.  He needed the familiarity.

To his delight, Koushi continued to drop by unannounced almost every single day.  Usually he brought food, but sometimes, he just brought himself.  Whenever he'd show up, they would hang around Daichi's apartment and talk until sunset, then Daichi would take Koushi out for walks around town, showing him all of his old haunts and comparing them to how they were 87 years previous.  Koushi usually had a remark about Daichi being ancient when Daichi would complain about "new fangled technology" and Daichi would easily counter with an exasperated "kids these days".

It was in moments like that where Daichi discovered little things about Koushi that made him fall even deeper in love.  The bridge of Koushi's nose scrunched when he laughed.  Koushi's eyes would flash a little just before the delivery of a swift jab to Daichi's ribs after a terrible joke.  Koushi played with strands of his hair when he was nervous, or lost in thought.  Koushi's smile was brightest whenever Daichi used his given name.  Koushi's eyes flickered between Daichi's and Daichi's lips whenever Daichi spoke.  Koushi always hugged Daichi tightest whenever the group would split for the night. Koushi flushed a light pink whenever Daichi caught him staring.  It was all of the little things that made Daichi love Koushi more and more with each passing day.  And it was about time he did something about it.  

On Koushi's birthday, Daichi and Koushi went for one of their usual sunset walks.  They stopped by Koushi's favorite ice cream shop before Daichi led him to the river bank he'd frequent 87 years ago.  They made their way across the river bank, their hands brushing against each other.  Feeling brave, Daichi laced his fingers with Koushi's.  Koushi gave Daichi's hand a squeeze.  Warmth spread across Daichi's cheeks as he grinned.

"So, where are you taking me, Sawamura?" Koushi asked.  "You've been awfully secretive about this whole birthday adventure."

"I bought you ice cream, didn't I?" Daichi teased.

"Don't dodge the question."

"It's one of my favorite places in Chōfu."  Daichi said.

He led Koushi to the alcove. To his delight, the area remained unchanged.  He sat on the rock closest to the water's edge.  Koushi sat next to him, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his head on Daichi's shoulder.  The sun set behind them, leaving the pair to admire the twilight sky.  Daichi reached down to the sand below and traced his and Koushi's names into the sand.

"Anytime I left Earth, I'd come here to watch either the sunrise first," Daichi explained.  "It was always so tranquil here.  No one would find me; it was just me and the world around me.  Knowing that I would be coming back to this was what made me want to go to space in the first place.  I always had something to come back to."

"Thank you for sharing this with me," Koushi whispered, lacing his fingers with Daichi's again.

Daichi sat back a little, turning to look at Koushi.  He studied the other man's face for a moment before he asked, "Can I kiss you?"

Koushi blinked at Daichi, then punched him in the shoulder.  "I've been waiting for you to ask for six months, Sawamura!"

Daichi laughed as he rubbed his arm, "You know, you could have taken the initiative."

"Shut up and kiss me, asshole."

All too happy to comply, Daichi cupped Koushi's chin and pulled him into the kiss.  It was a simple thing, as far as kisses went.  It was a gentle kiss, but it had just the right amount of passion behind it to send shivers down Daichi's back.  Koushi brought his hands up to rest on Daichi's shoulders.  He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, and it was like the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle falling into place.  It felt right, being there with Koushi.  Koushi was comfort, Koushi was home.

"I love you," Daichi whispered against Koushi's lips.

Koushi pulled back to press a kiss to Daichi's forehead.  "I love you too," he replied.

They stayed that way for a while, trading gentle kisses as they watched the sky turn black.  It was exactly where Daichi wanted to be.

[appreciate-kaimaki]

Since Maki have a lot of scars (she's a freaking assassin after all), Kaito likes to kiss them and sometimes compare them to constellations of stars (sorry for my Bad english;;;)

Ngh… this… this is just so cute! Dammit, Kaito, you big sappy romantic…

I was originally going to make this a headcanon, but the writer gods intervened and made this into a fully fledged fic with lots of kissing and fluff! I hope you enjoy this, anon, because I sure did.

The fic is under the cut!

~Mod Shuichi~

It’s not like Maki hated being intimate with Kaito - while she would never admit it out loud, their cuddle-slash-makeout sessions were easily her favorite part of the day. His exuberant warmth always seemed to fill her very heart and soul with comfort, melting away her hardened exterior until only the goodness inside her remained. Yet, as they sat in each other’s arms on his bed in one such session, she couldn’t help but freeze as his warm hands slid into her waist and brushed across her back. There was a good reason she had yet to take her top off in front of Kaito despite him being topless before her many times, one which brought back painful memories, yet he was dangerously close to discovering it by himself.

Maki used to be, until very recently, a very… efficient assassin. Slip in, kill target, slip out. She never made detours to eliminate witnesses, because no one ever saw her. She had no injuries to patch up, because she always killed with the first strike. That, however, wasn’t always the case. There was a time Maki was inexperienced and untrained in combat. That period was most definitely short - her handlers wouldn’t have it any other way - but it still left a fair share of scars on her in both mind… and body.

A bullet mark that went through her left flank, from a firefight with a dozen police officers with just a single emergency pistol. One round versus hundreds. Long, jagged lines running across her collarbone and chest, from when she’d failed to kill a target with her first hit and he retaliated with a kitchen knife. Burns scattered across her back from when she was captured and tortured by some foreign agents for killing their boss. And much, much more - some were even from her own handlers, as punishment for each time she screwed up. Her legacy of murder, left as permanent disfiguring marks on her body.

Her boyfriend’s fingers found one such mark, following the long, rough line running along her spine. Kaito looked up when he noticed his girlfriend stiffening under his touch. His expression immediately shifted into one of genuine concern.

“Hey, Maki Roll, you okay? Maki Roll?”

Maki remained frozen, unable to respond. While Kaito did know that she had a history as an assassin, she had never showed him her scars. For good reason, too - even if he accepted her past as a murderer, who would want to date a girl with hideous scars all over her body when there were better girls, ones who never had to kill for a living, ones with beautiful unblemished skin from head to toe? Her fears, visions of Kaito leaving her, denouncing her as ugly and scarred, came crashing down on her all at once, ringing in her ears like too many gunshots blending together -

“Maki!”

The sound of her name jolted her back to reality, and she desperately pulled away from his grasp, pulling down her shirt over her back as her breath spiraled out of control.

“I, I have to go now.”

Kaito looked back at her with sadness and worry filling his eyes.

“Maki Roll, don’t go.”

He reached out and tentatively held onto her fingertips, as if she was a lifeline that would explode if held too tightly.

“Tell me what’s bothering you. Let me help you. Please.”

His touch seemed to drain the panic out of her through the small area of contact, and she could think logically for a moment. Leaving would simply delay the inevitable. Sooner or later they would end up in the same situation again, and he would figure it out by himself anyway. Better to tell him in her own terms while she still could. Hesitatingly, Maki admitted, “I’ve been hiding some things about me to you. A lot of things. I’m sorry.”

Maki allowed her boyfriend to draw her in again, sitting in his lap as she tried her best to calm her raging senses. Kaito slowly lifted her shirt up, exposing her trembling back riddled with too many scars than Maki wanted him to know about. His warm fingers traced each line, lingered in each bullet mark, as he gently ran his hands over her back and massaged her tense muscles, and despite the situation Maki found herself calming down. Kaito always had a way of doing that to her.

“I’m sorry my skin isn’t as fair as the other girls,” Maki blurted out. “If you hate me for this I can understand. You don’t have to put up with an ugly girl like me…”

“Maki Roll.”

Kaito wrapped her from behind in a heartfelt embrace as he nuzzled into her neck, the tip of his pointy purple goatee ever-so-slightly brushing a thin line over her collarbone. Maki let her eyes flutter closed as she leaned back into her boyfriend. The way he said her nickname was so tender, so loving, that it sent pleasant shivers up her spine as his breath played on her skin. Tenderly kissing the side of Maki’s neck, Kaito undid his hold on her to slowly move down her back. He took his time with her, planting kisses on every scar, every injury and blemish, kisses so soft and warm that Maki almost felt the scars melting away and leaving her clean as could be.

“You’re beautiful. All of this, all of you, is so much more beautiful than I ever thought you could be. And you, Harukawa Maki, are the only girl for me until the end of spacetime.”

“I’m not… the scars…” she stammered.

“They’re all beautiful, every single one. Like the shining stars in the sky. Maki Roll, if you think I’ll leave you over something like this you’re dead wrong.”

He left trails of kisses on them all, bestowing heavenly names to each and every mark on her back.

“Proxima Centauri.” Kiss. “Cassiopeia.” Kiss. “Andromeda.” Kiss. “Vega.” Kiss. “Aquarius.” Kiss. “Deneb.” Kiss. “Ursa Minor.” Kiss. “Virgo.” Kiss.

Finally Maki turned around to face her love, twisting in his lap to wrap her arms around him and drink in that wonderful scent of his. Kaito merely smiled that bright smile that always gave her butterflies in her stomach and kept right on, along her collarbone, above her chestline, and dipping down once or twice to plant even more kisses on her navel and abdomen.

“God, you’re so perfect. Like starlight made into a person. So divine, so heavenly.”

Lost in the sheer amount of love Kaito was giving her, Maki found his lips with her own and kissed him with all the strength she could muster, her feelings of relief that her Kaito would never leave her behind intensifying her hold on him. Her starry-minded boyfriend reciprocated in kind, and the two remained locked in their loving embrace for the longest time. As they finally separated to gaze into each other’s eyes, Kaito lifted a hand to gently caress Maki’s cheek.

“Maki Roll, you’ll always be my universe. Forever and always. Because I love you, with every atom of my being.”

Maki could only blush as she pressed her face into the crook of his neck once again.

“I love you, too.”

[yoi-fanficrecs]

Fanfic Writer’s Appreciation Day 2018!!!

I’m so thankful for all the fanfic writers in out there and especially the writer in the Yuri! on Ice Fandom. Here’s a list of some of the fics I’ve read this week & some of my favs all mixed together! (THIS IS BY NO MEANS A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF ALL THE FICS I THINK ROCK) 

Don’t forget if you’re a fic reader to go and leave an extra comment on your fav stories or drop an ask in the author’s tumblr about how much you appreciate the work that they do! Some of the authors in the fandom are FANTASTIC and I can’t believe that they aren’t paid, professional writers!

Much Ado About Something by @eternalsunshine13 &  Skowronek 

AO3 Summary: By day, Victor Nikiforov is the head of European operations for LearX, a company on the forefront of private space travel. By night, he is makka-baby on Tumblr, a prominent figure in the small but passionate poodle fandom.

By day, Yuuri Katsuki runs F.O.O.L., a subsidiary of Katsuki Enterprises, whose stated goal is to bring LearX down one lawsuit after another. By night, he’s oodlesofpoodles, an active member of the poodle fandom and possibly makka-baby’s biggest fan.

By day, they duke it out in court. By night, they become friends—and maybe something more—as they fall for each other one Tumblr message at a time.

Or: a romantic comedy starring two idiots in love, the Katsuki family, the mothers Nikiforov, the husbands Chulanont-Giacometti, two doggos, six hamsters, one Yurio, and many, many schemes to get our favorite lovebirds together.

I devoured this in one sitting. They were so frustratingly adorable!!!! This fic is a great enemies to lovers filled with poodles, matchmaking Chris & Phichit, and a futuristic Tumblr app that is still the worst. :P 

In Regards to Dynamics by ICanSeeClearlyNow, Oxytreza 

AO3 Summary: In a world where betas ruled, alphas and omegas were treated as less than human. After centuries of prejudice, they rebelled, commandeered a colony ship and left Earth for the Proxima Centauri system, vowing to create a new world where all people, regardless of gender, would be treated equally.

200 years later, a reformed Earth approaches Proxima asking to reestablish contact and to reconcile their worlds. Victor Nikiforov, a popular and successful politician on Proxima, is chosen to lead the mission to Earth and accompany a team from Earth back to Proxima for a scientific exchange.

The team from Earth consists of ordinary people descended from omegas and alphas who chose to remain on Earth. Yuuri Katsuki, a researcher into transporter technology and completely ordinary and unremarkable Earthling (a PhD and excellent service record don't count - shush Phichit!) is both thrilled and terrified at the prospect of meeting the handsome ambassador who has taken the Earth by storm.

I’m a sucker for ABO fics. The history and world-building in this fic fascinated me and gave our boys some interesting backstories. 

Cherry Blossom Winter by Ars_Matron

AO3 Summary: The war was over, and they had lost. The invading army covered Japan in a show of complete dominance. All bowed before them in hopes of being spared. And Hasetsu was no exception.They couldn't fight, there were no more battles to win, yet they were bound and determined to keep their omegas safe. All Yuuri and the others had to do was keep low until the soldiers were gone. Blend in. Never be caught alone.Yuuri hadn't meant to catch the attention of the blue eyed alpha.Viktor wasn't going to let him slip away.

ABO FICS FOR THE WIN!!!! This fic is an ABO version of another one of Ars_Matron’s stories Snow in Spring - so if you like the summary but not the A/B/O aspect hit that story up! I think the A/B/O aspect really raises the stakes for this story. Just from reading the summary you think it’s going to be a Dark Viktor, but Ars writes his POV as well so we get his thought process too! This is a great conquering Alpha! Viktor and dancer Omega! Yuuri that you’ve got to stop and read it! 

Hide and Seek by senshoo

AO3 Summary: Thankfully, the walk only took a few moments and soon, Yuuri was juggling both the child and the key while he shouldered his way into the apartment, set the kid down on his secondhand couch, and then sighed, sinking to the floor.

One deep breath.

Maybe two.

And then, it hit him.Holy shit.Did he just kidnap a child?--

Or: The one where Yuuri accidentally becomes a father at twenty three. Oh, and there's still skating.

EKKKKKK!!!!! I love baby Yurio and this fic warms my cold dead heart! Not to mention this fic is HILARIOUS! I’ve literally laughed out loud reading multiple chapters from this fic much to my embarrassment during professional development workshops. It’s just a cute pinning fic with a cute little Yurio and a dash of angst but mostly humor. <3 <3 <3 

Plus: the writer is a consistent updater! 

Can I have some of that, Please? by TheLittleSeven  

AO3 Summary: If there's anything he learned during his mate's pregnancy, it was to never, EVER question a craving of a pregnant person. Ever. Unless he wanted to deal with a crying fit that resulted from him asking the omega why he wanted mango ice cream with siracha and peas topped on it. Pregnant people usually have weird cravings during their pregnancy. Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov is no exception.

I stumbled upon this little one shot over the summer and absolutely love it! The writer says this is their first fic and it’s so cute! You’ve probably read the story somewhere on the internet and it fits our sweet boys so much! 

Dearly beloved by Sophia96

AO3 Summary:  This is the story about unconditional love between true mates. When they are destined to be together, there will be nothing standing in their way. Not even language barriers or great distances. As long as they have each other, they will never need anything else.

I couldn’t make a fanfic writer’s appreciation post without including my main writing KWEEN @sophialala1 !!! All of their fics are amazing! Long, fluffy, plot twists, little angsty Viktuuir goodness! Also, they are a dedicated writer and right now going on over a week of daily updates! I’m so thankful they are writing for this fandom and cannot express my gratitude enough! 

Between Sixes  by D_Toska

AO3 Summary:  When Yuri Katsuki is hired as a caretaker for an elite competitive stable owned by Viktor Nikiforov, he knows he's in for trouble with his stunningly handsome new boss. When he makes a major mistake on his first day, he learns just how far Viktor is willing to go to ease his guilty conscience.

HOT HOT HOT!!!! This story is spicy, flaming, sexy, and OMG! I’m pretty sure I have a perpetual nosebleed the ENTIRE chapter. There’s also a lot about horses, which is very lengthy and detailed so I’m sure the writer knows what they’re talking about, lol (bc I know nothing about horses). But I love the chemistry between the dom Vitkor & sub Yuuri and i am on this rollercoaster for good. 

Learning Life & Love (Work) by BellaBear13

AO3 Summary: Yuuri Katsuki gets admitted to the hospital for his anxiety and Viktor Nikiforov becomes his therapist. They fall for each other and develop a prohibited relationship, while dealing with problems and situations along the way. Yuuri befriends another patient, Yuri Plisetsky, where they find friendship in one another and open up about difficulties they have with their mental health and relationships.Together they all learn the meaning of life and love.

I was hesitant to start this fic only because I thought the power balance between Viktor & Yuuri would be skewed bc of the therapist/patient bit. I WAS SO WRONG!!! This fic is beautiful and heart-wrenchingly angsty and you know, a little pinning. The writer takes so good pace with their budding relationship && how they approach Yuuris (&&Viktors) mental illness. I really love this story and it updates consistently on Wednesday. Take a chance, and read this fic! 

Seven Years and Twenty-Four Hours (Work) by Glaucus_Atlanticus

AO3 Summary: A time-traveling shower transports 18 year old Yuuri into the body of his future self—and into the arms of his idol, Victor Nikiforov. Now Yuuri must pretend to be his older self until he can return to his own era. Which would be a lot easier if Victor weren't so attentive. Or so affectionate.But as time goes on, Yuuri finds himself torn between his old life, and a new one that would hand him everything he ever wanted...but at the cost of his real identity.

COMPLETED! So beautiful. The younger time-traveling Yuuri is so heartbreakingly anxious and Victor is just a sad sac without his time-appropriate Yuuri. This is an angsty fic, but such a great read.

P.S Sorry this turned into an A/B/O fic appreciation post, lol. (but not sorry)

[yurionicebigbang]

In Regards to Dynamics 

author: @narcissuspseudonarcissus  artist: oxytrezart  beta: saniika  rating: Explicit warnings: No Archive warnings apply summary: In a world where betas ruled, alphas and omegas were treated as less than human. After centuries of prejudice, they rebelled, commandeered a colony ship and left Earth for the Proxima Centauri system, vowing to create a new world where all people, regardless of gender, would be treated equally. 200 years later, a reformed Earth approaches Proxima asking to reestablish contact and to reconcile their worlds. Victor Nikiforov, a popular and successful politician on Proxima, is chosen to lead the mission to Earth and accompany a team from Earth back to Proxima for a scientific exchange.  The team from Earth consists of ordinary people descended from omegas and alphas who chose to remain on Earth. Yuuri Katsuki, a researcher into transporter technology and completely ordinary and unremarkable Earthling (a PhD and excellent service record don’t count - shush Phichit!) is both thrilled and terrified at the prospect of meeting the handsome ambassador who has taken the Earth by storm.  This is their story…

fic link || art link

[mazamba]

I posted 15,534 times in 2021

88 posts created (1%)

15446 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 175.5 posts.

I added 187 tags in 2021

#transformers animated - 43 posts

#sari sumdac - 38 posts

#transformers prime - 34 posts

#miko nakadai - 28 posts

#transformers - 13 posts

#jack darby - 12 posts

#raf esquivel - 6 posts

#bumblebee - 5 posts

#optimus prime - 5 posts

#humans are space orcs - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 77 characters

#idk if you're picking this up but i'm definitely writing a fic about this now

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Optimus: I’d love to see your point of view, Sentinel, but I simply can’t get my processor that far up my tailpipe.

156 notes • Posted 2021-06-02 19:43:47 GMT

#4

Story Idea #2

To whom it may concern,

We have received a noise complaint from Proxima Centaury-6. We would like to remind you that all radio communications are to remain localized to prevent interference with your neighboring star systems.

Furthermore, we would like to point out that your space trash situation is getting out of hand and, while still within tolerable limits, your system may incur fines if you fail to keep your space clean.

If requested, we may provide a list of space trash clean up services that are affiliated with us.

Sincerely,

The Orion Arm Planet Owners Association

203 notes • Posted 2021-08-03 01:55:16 GMT

#3

Story Idea

The Galactic Union has taken interest in your planet, Sol-3, AKA Earth, to join us in our exchange of culture, science, and trade. 

However, please note that we at the GU do not tolerate the consumption, enslavement, or any other form of abuse towards other sentient and sapient species. 

In order to align with our shared goal of peace and equity throughout the galaxy, we ask that you raise the minimum wage of your workforce and stop consuming the beings in the list provided below. 

287 notes • Posted 2021-07-16 19:17:34 GMT

#2

Scary Idea

So one of my biggest peeves in the sci-fi genre are monocultural planets.

Y'know, you get to a planet and literally everyone worships the same deities and dresses the same and has the same slang etc...

The reason it peeves me, personally, is that we know just how a region ends up monocultural, and it's not peaceful.

But if that's the norm...

Well, imagine that we start coming across all of these alien species, all monocultural at that point.

In a few cases there was a sort of miraculous melting point, but the vast majority actively wiped out the others in each specific planet.

We meet them, they're all peaceful and "civilized" at that point, their civilizations having developed to the point that they can interact with each other without wanting to "demonstrate superiority".

They are astounded that we have managed to make it to their level without reaching the same level of monoculture.

Can you imagine what it would be to find out that every horrible attempt that one culture has made to wipe another out is considered minor by their standards?

Picture that every planet in the universe we meet has essentially reduced itself to a singular culture forged out of supremacist ideals, even if they have developed past that point by then.

Earth, with every horrible event that has happened and is still happening, is considered the golden standard of inter-cultural tolerance.

The Trail of Tears, The Holocaust, Israel... all minor skirmishes by their standards and held as a shining example of "Compromise by a Primitive Civilization".

What if WE are the most tolerant civilization in the universe?

Anyways, I hate monocultural planets in sci-fi. I get that it's harder, but this is what it implies.

308 notes • Posted 2021-12-01 07:23:53 GMT

#1

Summer Job AU

Mabel: Grunkle Ford! Dipper's possessed again!

Steven, in Dipper's body: And I'm really sorry about it. I usually have more control than this. I'm at the motel on the other side of town. If we can wake me up, we can clear this whole thing up. So put the gun away please?

340 notes • Posted 2021-01-09 14:11:40 GMT

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