#the bats have no idea whose kidnapping villains and why

[azulhood]

Danny and Jazz were almost at the end of their rope.

They've checked almost everyone they knew who would take them in.

Sam's family? Didn't want them living under the same roof as their daughter.

Mr Lancer? He did actually want to take them in but his one bedroom apartment was not a suitable place for kids to live and his teachers salary couldn't afford to support three people.

Tucker's family? Got shut down by Vlad.

Which was the end of the list of who could get custody, well living at least.

There was no way either of them were living with Vlad, and with that in mind, they decided to get creative.

--------------------

When Edward woke up, sitting at an old interrogation table in what seemed to be an abandoned warehouse (don't ask him which one, gothem had too many) and splitting pain in his head from most likely getting knocked out, his first thought was I knew it.

Gotham rogues had been disappearing only to reappear the next day with no memory and often in bad shape, like black mask and Bane.

Some of the rogues, such as penguin and Ivy, believed that they would be safe from the next attack.

Edward was slightly more pessimistic.

And it turned out he was right.

"ahem." Noise brought his attention to the warehouses other occupants.

Two teenagers.

It was strange to think that these two put Bane into a coma, but Edward had spent most of his nights getting the stuffing beaten out of him by a child wearing the colours of a traffic light so he was suitably wary.

"How can I help you?" Being polite was always a good idea when kidnapped by possible meta children (because no normal person could walk away from a fight with Bane, the bats don't qualify as normal.)

"Hi, I'm Jazz and this is Danny." The red head introduced herself and the blue eyed boy next to her. "Nice to meet you Mr Nygma."

"Nice to meet you as well." His mouth responded on autopilot as he panicked over being addressed by name, no one who kidnapped him did that ( which was mostly the bats taking him back to Arkham after another foiled plan) unless they were Amanda Waller.

"Right, now that we all know each other, let's get started." Danny said pulling out a sheet of paper and star themed pen from somewhere.

"Get started on what?" Torture? Edward would really like to know if that was the case.

"The interview." Jazz explained " You just have to answer a few questions then you get to go, after we wipe your memory of course, we have someone who we don't want knowing we're in Gotham."

"Oh, of course." Edward replied faintly as he processed the information given to him.

"And if you get job we'll contact you in a week." Danny added as he twirled his pen. "Got it?"

"Yes." Edward had never been more confused in his life.

[twistedtummies2]

Year of the Bat - Number 20

Welcome to Year of the Bat! In honor of Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, and Richard Moll, I’m counting down my Top 31 Favorite Episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” throughout this January. We’ve reached the Top 20 of the countdown! TODAY’S EPISODE QUOTE: “Why couldn’t you just let me make-believe?!” Number 20 is…Baby Doll.

I had a hard time deciding between this classic episode and “The Clock King,” our previous entry. Both are episodes that debut new villains for the show, and in both cases, they were villains with very few appearances, but who have developed a noticeable following in years since. However, I think Baby Doll – in regards to both the character and the story – hits harder on an emotional level, which is why this takes precedence over the Clock King. The plot focuses on Batman trying to stop a series of mysterious kidnappings going on across Gotham. The perpetrator of these crimes is a childlike supervillainess called Baby Doll. It’s eventually revealed that Baby Doll is one Mary Dahl; a former child actress. Dahl suffers from a condition called systemic hypoplasia; while she ages mentally, emotionally, and so on, her physical body forever remains trapped in the form of a little girl. Mary got her start in a sitcom, where she played a character called “Baby Doll,” which made her a star. Since she couldn’t age, she was able to play this adorable little girl for a full decade…but things changed when a new character was brought onto the show, and ended up upstaging Dahl’s own.

Jealous and infuriated, the fame having gone to her head, Mary quit the program. However, her childlike appearance, combined with her being typecast as Baby Doll, led to her being unable to find a stable career, and her whole life fell into a downward spiral. Her mind eventually snapped; she could no longer fully distinguish fantasy from reality. As the supervillain Baby Doll, the name taken from her old character, Mary tries to rebuild the fantasy life she always wanted and loved so much, kidnapping her co-stars and trying to recreate the perfect world she believes she once had.

While I can’t prove it for certain, I feel this episode MUST have been inspired by the horror film “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” That film’s titular antagonist was a former child actress. Her career tanked at some point, and her younger sister became a bigger star than she was, leaving the once-spoiled-with-success Baby Jane jealous and bitter. Over the course of the film, Baby Jane’s sanity deteriorates due to various things, as it becomes harder and harder for her to separate fantasy and reality. It all sounds disturbingly close to Baby Doll in this episode; even the name is similar! About all that’s difference is the twist about aging: in the movie, Baby Jane is depicted as an old hag by the time she becomes the villain. Baby Doll’s plight, however, is partially the result of her being UNABLE to physically age.

Regardless of inspiration, Baby Doll is an episode that combines so many great elements together, particularly when it comes to the matter of tone. There’s a lot of different levels and layers, tonally, to this story: as you might imagine from its title, and from the basic setup of the title character, there’s a nice big dollop of campy silliness involved in the story, and it does take full advantage of the humor that come from that. However, the episode can also be quite creepy in places, with the visual and story-based motifs of innocence lost and being trapped in an endless childhood, two wonderfully clashing ideas. On top of that, it’s really quite a heartbreaking story: while Mary’s fall from grace was at least partially her own doing, you can’t help but feel sorry for her. Through no real fault of her own, she’s trapped in an inescapable position in life, and it’s easy to sympathize with someone whose entire scheme stems from a place of wanting to go back to happier, simpler, better times.

This is also another episode – much like the two Riddler stories I covered earlier in the countdown – where a big part of what makes the story great is how it ends. The climactic finale to Baby Doll is widely regarded as one of the most disturbing and sad in the entire series. It’s a big part of why the character is so highly revered, and why the episode is a fan favorite. It’s genuinely surprising that, with the following Baby Doll has, she’s never been adapted into comics. Unlike the Clock King, the DCAU is where she got her start…but unlike characters such as Harley Quinn and Lock-Up, Baby Doll never really went anywhere after the fact. She’s made a few cameos and been homage in other media and mainstream comics, but this and her other appearance in B:TAS (“Love is a Croc,” where Baby Doll teams up with Killer Croc, of all characters) remain her only major stories of note. Considering how strong this particular episode is, maybe that’s not such a bad thing: sometimes, one great story is all it takes.

Tomorrow we move on to Number 19! Hint: “Hit me, Riley! Maybe I’ll wake up and be a millionaire, too!”

[meiusoo-twistedtwst]

[Twisted Wonderland Theory] NRC and RSA: Why Were They Built? Why MC/Yuu was Summoned to Twisted Wonderland

(Image from the Twisted Wonderland wiki fandom, please don't sue me)

I know I wrote before that Lilia might have been the one to summon MC/Yuu, but yes, Crowley summoning them also makes sense. Something I noticed that seems to happen in the TWST fandom is that some fans tend to judge which overblotter had it worse. People seem to think that Leona's reasoning for overblotting was weak compared to the others. So I think NRC is a school (well obviously) that was built with the idea that it will be filled with students whose struggles were taken with a grain of salt by the rest of society. And I think RSA was built with that idea too.

Honestly, NRC and RSA don't seem very different from each other, it just that their students and staff have different values. But there seems to be a basic sameness. NRC has darker and neutral colors on their uniforms and buildings to reflect the dark struggles of its students and that helps them cope with it, because it makes the students feel like someone understands them. With RSA, they have lighter and cooler colors (cooler as in blue, purple, etc..) this is to surround their students with calming things to help them focus on accepting themselves rather than completely vent about things like the NRC students.

Now, MC/Yuu's mission. Why were they summoned? NRC seems like a school where the students conceal everything they feel until they burst and vent (overblot) and just hope someone will understand them, because of this, the school might have had trouble fulfilling the idea that NRC (and RSA) is a school built to accept those rejected by society. Since you know, not every wizard is saved from overblot, and if they aren't saved, well... the STYX will come over and kidnap them and they become an experimental subject, they still aren't accepted by society nor themselves. MC was probably summoned to lead/help other to save the overblotters before they get labeled as experimental subjects and never be accepted by society and never even accept/improve themselves. However, there's a flaw to this.

NRC is a villain's school. The students are selfish. Whoever the heck summoned MC/Yuu was so fixated on their own suffering that they completely forgot why they suffered in the first place. The summoner's suffering carries on to cause MC's suffering.

The summoner could be either Crowley or Lilia. First of all, both are probably immortal and have been alive for decades, since both have pointed ears and resemble a flying animal (Lilia=bats, Crowley=crows). Lilia also once said that living forever is more painful than dying, this quote just explains how he's suffering. He's been alive for so long, seen too much, seen everything. The same thing could be applied to Crowley. So whoever summoned MC suffers from life itself. And MC, after experiencing too many overblots, after hearing too many different stories of suffering, the pain of life itself effects them too.

---

Yeah, this is a long theory. I might have to elaborate further in another post.

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of DC: Week of February 12th, 2020

Best of this Week: Pennyworth R.I.P. One-Shot - James Tynion IV and Various Artists and Colorists

Some people think Dick Grayson is the glue that holds the Batfamily together, some say that it's really Tim Drake, but we all know that it has always been Alfred.

Alfred has been by Bruce's side since the day that Thomas and Martha Wayne were killed in Crime Alley. Alfred raised the boy from a young age and watched as he became a hero that Gotham City could truly be proud of. Alfred even got to see Bruce raise many kids of his own over the years and sas there to pick up the slack when Bruce was too injured, angry or didn't know how to talk to them. Alfred was patient. Alfred was loving. Alfred was amazing and will be sorely missed.

Alfred met his tragic end during the recent City of Bane arc and even after that wrapped up, it still took time for the rest of the family to get together and mourn his passing. Bruce has been trying to cope with it all by throwing himself into his Gotham Renovation Project and various superheroics. Barbara’s been dealing with her own issues in the form of a rogue Oracle. Damian has the Titans, Jason is on the outs with the family and Dick (Ric) doesn’t even really remember Alfred.

In the end, Bane managed to do what he set out to accomplish in the first place: He Broke the Bat.

Not only did he break Batman, he broke the entire family as a whole as shown from the very first shot of this book. Eddy Barrows presents us with a pulled out shot, showing a statue of Alfred in the middle of the new Alfred J. Pennyworth Children’s Hospital - a momentous honor meant to save kids just like Bruce. However, this scene also symbolizes the distance between all of the family. Tynion IV does a great job of scripting their inner thoughts as told by an unseen narrator.

Damian, being the one who was there, feels the weight of his disobedience and sees things as his fault. Tim hearkens back to the time after Jason died and fears for Bruce, knowing the darkness inside of him. Jason was told to NOT come, but Alfred had always treated him right and Barbara feels like she knows how to fix things, but who’s to say that she’s in the right mind to do so either? And Ric… well, Ric doesn’t know why he’s there, but he feels obligated.

Barrows does an amazing job of showing the pain through their forlorn expressions and lowered heads. I assume that Adriano Lucas was the one who colored these scenes because they make excellent use of cold blues to emphasize the sadness of the Family. Barrows also does something that a few artists struggle with in distinguishing each of the boys from each other. They each have distinct hairstyles and facial structures and it’s a nice touch for such a tragic event. Soon after, Tim finds a little dive bar for them to meet in and they each bicker a bit before Bruce arrives for toasts and memories.

This book also does an excellent job of showcasing personal moments that we never see between the kids and Alfred. Beginning with Damian, Chris Burnham draws a flashback to one of the first times that Alfred bails Damian out after he disobeys Batman about going out on patrols. Tynion IV and Burnham capture Damian’s early petulance through his childish pouting superiority complex. We see that Damian loved Alfred because he was willing to be patient with the young boy and Bruce was just getting used to having a trained assassin as a son. 

Damian is still widely considered the worst Robin, but that idea has long passed its expiration date as the young lad has grown significantly over the years. In the beginning he could have killed anyone and not felt a lick of remorse for it, but over time, thanks to the softening of Bruce and Alfred, the boy has learned to care and take responsibility for things that weren’t even his fault. He tears up thinking that the rest of the family blamed him for Alfred’s death and regrets that he didn’t do more to stop Bane before leaving the bar. 

Tim speaks next and Marcio Takara takes over art for Tim’s flashback. The third Robin is still arguably the smartest, but during a hectic fight with Firefly, he leaves some of his gear and Alfred bails him out by sneaking into the GCPD to retrieve the items. It’s very action packed and does well to show that sometimes Tim loses his cool too, but after the recollection, Tim says that he would step in for Alfred if Batman ASKS him to do so. When Bruce refuses, Tim makes a point that this is exactly like how Bruce was after Jason, but this time he has to pull himself through like an adult before he too leaves.

Tim is usually the Robin that’s touted as being the one who saved Batman during his most destructive period. He’s always been the level headed one, but in recent years he’s been put through the ringer. From being kidnapped by an unseen entity and thought dead for almost a year (Detective Comics, 2017), to fighting an alt-future, villainous version of himself (Detective Comics, 2018) and finally reuniting with his Young Justice friends and dealing with the chaos of that (Young Justice, 2019). Tim is tired and even more so of the darkness that shrouds Bruce and the Family.

Jaybird raises his glass to Alfred next and offers a counter to Tim. He says that maybe Batman would have worked out his issues after Jason’s death if a new kid didn’t swing in and just try to relieve him of the pain. Jason has always been the most extreme of the family, but he’s never been above asking Alfred for help. As a street urchin, Jason doesn’t trust most people, but despite this Alfred always thought to check up on Bruce’s second son and tried to bring him back to the side of the angels. Jason never bit, but he appreciated the effort.

He tells Barbara that he won’t chastise Bruce for how he feels because they’re all in that same spot right now, but he does want Bruce to work towards fixing it. Jason knows better than the rest of them what it feels like to have lost (Heroes in Crisis, 2018), but he also knows what it’s like to be there on the fringes with no one there to help.

Batgirl is often lost in the conversations that usually revolve around the boys, but she shouldn’t be. Barbara’s intellect exceeds that of Tim by a wide margin, but that intelligence also comes with an intuitiveness given to her by her father, James Gordon, as they live in the heart of Gotham. Barbara makes the most logical statement about the general fear swelling in Gotham after Bane’s rise and defeat and the lack of trust in Bat themed heroes given everything that The Batman Who Laughs has done. Bruce’s reconstruction project isn’t helping either as it’s just another shiny coat of paint over a city whose problems run down to its roots.

Babs may not have grown up in the mansion like the boys, but Alfred cared for her just the same, effectively being Batman’s first daughter...niece maybe the better description? David Lafuente does the art for her flashback and it’s a more cutesy style with thick defining lines and lots of faraway shots as we see Alfred and Barbara hiking up a mountain just outside of Gotham City. The actions of Killing Joke absolutely still happened and to celebrate the anniversary of Barbara leaving spine rehab, Alfred wanted to celebrate with a hike and a cupcake.Barbara says that they need Bruce to come back and be the person that they all need him to be before she leaves as well. 

Finally, we hear from Ric Grayson. The former Dick Grayson was another victim of Bane’s vendetta, getting shot in the head by the KGBeast in an attempt to further hurt Batman. Aside from his Flying Grayson memories and a few scant ones with Alfred and Bruce, he doesn’t remember his life as Nightwing, with the Titans or the rest of the Batfamily and that probably makes this book harder to swallow. Dick has always been the elder brother to each of them and truly is Batman’s voice of reason after Alfred, but Dick is gone. 

So Ric, knowing he needs to step up and say something to get Bruce to help himself, asks him to tell whatever story Dick Grayson might have if he were still around. Bruce then speaks up about a time where Dick found out that Alfred had been leaving flowers at the sight of the Waynes murder to celebrate the anniversary of their marriage where Bruce had been leaving flowers on the anniversary of their deaths. Dick tells Bruce that Alfred always wanted to tell him that their deaths had saved countless lives and even the world at times.

It’s grim and kinda dark, but in the grand scheme of things, Ric is right. Batman has given everything he can to the world under his mission of Justice and that never would have happened if the Waynes survived, just look at Batman: The Gift (Batman #45 - #47, 2018). In that timeline, the Waynes did survive and it was a nightmare world where crime was rampant, Dick was crazed Batman like Flashpoint Thomas Wayne and everything was just wrong. Ric may not have known all of tht, but he did know that Alfred was right and that Bruce needed to be strong for him.

Before Ric leaves, he hangs a picture on the bar wall while Tynion IV and Barrows convey the emotional impact of Ric’s act through four panels without dialogue. Bruce looks at the picture and not only can readers feel the tears swelling up in the corners of their eyes, but we almost feel as if Bruce is as well as he stars upon a picture of the core Batfamily with Alfred as the focus between them.

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t know if I’m emotionally ready to deal with a Batman future without Alfred. He’s always been such a faithful companion and foil to our dour hero and his passing has only made Batman that much darker. The cynic in me knows that DC Won’t keep him dead forever, especially with an incoming Crisis that may undo everything from the last four years of storytelling, but at the same time it might not. I think the idea to kill Alfred was a good one to create awesome moments like it did in this book, but who will take his place?

Could this really be Tim’s time to step away from the masks and go behind the scenes like Oracle did? Could Alfred’s daughter, Julia, see a return since she hasn’t been seen since I think All Star Batman in 2016? Will Lucius Fox actually stay in the position as he’s there now in Detective Comics? Who knows?

All that matters is the life of Alfred and the mark he left on our favorite characters.

Also, support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TyTalksComics

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na RACIST! (how Dobson thinks Batman is a supremacist, why I think Batman is not so good and Frank Miller is problematic

Over the last couple of years, Andrew Dobson has mad eit clear that he is not a fan of the character of Batman much (or anymore), calling him a Mary Sue and an embodiment of toxic masculinity as if that term means something nowadays considering how often it is thrown around. And don’t get me wrong, if you don’t like Batman as a character, that is completely fine with me. I myself am not the biggest fan of Batman myself. Or rather should I say, his overexposure in the comics.

Cause honestly, I do not hate the character on concept. I watched reruns of the Adam West Batman show from the 60s and the animated 90s show long before I even saw the Burton versions. Batman Brave and the Bold is one of my favorite animated shows of the 2000s. And I think that there are quite a few good Batman stories, shows and games out there overall. I do however believe that when it comes to Batman in the mainstream comics, things have taken a nose dive for a long time. Writers like Grant Morrison, Scott Snyder and Tom King in particular have over the last 10+ years (at least in my opinion) not just attempted to write stories about Batman as a hero, but also put him into the center of ever escalating events and philosophical wang fests so often, the comics and its characters (Batman and his villains alike) have become quite ridiculous. As a result Batman as a comic series is at times just too edgy, people get sick of certain characters (I like the Joker, but the way how he was handled in some of Snyder’s stories was ridiculous to the point they should have just called him Satan) and Batman comes off as a Gary Stu almost by default, cause the only way a “normal” human could even dare to deal with the over the top situations he faces, is by being even more over the top and smart and awesome by default.

 Now that we got my soapboxing regarding why I think Batman is not as good as a comic character anymore out of the way, lets see what Dobson’s take on Batman is and why he thinks he is turning Bat- I mean bad.

 He believes that Batman turns into a fascist.

... I would ask if that is a joke, but I know that Dobson does not get humor at all or can tell a good joke if he was possessed by Leslie Nielsen.

Okay, so lets just try to dissect why this is dumb.

First off, while I did not talk about it in detail, I did mention that there are different incarnations and versions of Batman to enjoy. Hey, Dobson himself said that the one he enjoyed the most was the Batman of the animated series in the 90s. Which btw I highly recommend. And so do others. But here is the thing: There is not one “ultimate” version of Batman to stick to. There are different interpretations of the character. And most people are okay with that. Heck, there are more than enough people who both enjoyed the 60s Batman and Burton’s Batman. The important thing is, that all those interpretations need to have a certain key element of Batman still in order to make the character recognizable as who he is to be. Which in my opinion is the willingness to fight for good even in the face of some serial killer level baddies and show also once here and there his smarts as well as a bit of heart (guess what people, Batman can be compassionate too if he needs to be) while at the same time wearing a costume as he does and try to convey the image of being “the night” to put fear in the hearts of those cowardly criminals.

 Which is why people in general will call writers out on being bad, when you do not “get” Batman or what people in general associate Batman to be. But Dobson seems to insinuate at least indirectly that people are dumb for not understanding it. That he is supposedly the only one who “gets” Batman right. No Dobson, you are not the only one. The shitton of people who mocked Batman vs Superman of which you were a part of, are proof enough.

 Next, I have to admit I find it hilarious that he believes that Frank Miller’s version of Batman is what he believes people consider slowly the mainstream version of the character. No they don’t.

 Let me try to explain it with this version a bit, seeing how Dobson does not and in doing so is utterly misinformative. In the late 2000s, comic writer Frank Miller, known for work such as Sin City, 300 and his run of Daredevil in the 80s, was tasked by DC comics to write “All Star Batman and Robin” a miniseries in 12 issues. While the thing has actually pretty good artwork by Jim Lee (an artist Dobson wishes he could be), the story itself is very, very bad. While Miller was in the past quite respected and was the man behind “The Dark Knight Returns” in the early 90s (a comic even I think is pretty decent as a story about Batman as an older man taking the cowl up again)  , his work in general even at this point was not that good. Miller had become an openly racist person towards people of muslim background after witnessing 9/11 in New York in person, Batman in his work became a vigilante who gets away with levels of assault, violence and edgy philosophing and beating his meat (metaphorically) that it just became pretty obvious that Miller had turned into a racist grandfather with power fantasies whose ideas oozed into his work. I am not denying the accusations Dobson throws here at Miller. His Batman in All Star is violent, acts like a self righteous psycho, kidnaps an underaged boy and does at one point consider that if he had Green Lantern’s power ring he could make the world “better” than Hal Jordan. Which considering his actions so far in that comic makes any person with self preservation instincts and empathy  wonder, what “better” means. Additionally, other characters like Superman, Wonder Woman and the mentioned Green Lantern don’t really fare good either when it comes to having likable personalities, making you wish a villain like Luthor would just get rid of those “heroes” already just to assure us they could not go crazy next tuesday.

So yeah, it is a shitty version of Batman, despised by many to the point All Star Batman is mocked to the nth degree. Miller himself became even more controversial and hatred when he wrote and got Holy Terror released, a beast I do not even want to touch upon at the time righ now. I just say it is bad as shit and one of the worst writen and drawn things I ever saw.

 HOWEVER… this version of Batman is not the mainstream one. I repeat: this is not the mainstream one, “accepted” by a majority of people. As the paragrpah previously show.

The character All Star Batman is considered ONLY associable with Millers miniseries of the same name, that did not even properly conclude as it was put on endless hiatus with issue ten. It has never become inspirational for any other portrayal of the character so far and DC comics also does not endorse the character in correlation with its main universe, even if they still sell tradepaperbacks of the series.

This, if you have any reading comprehension, points towards one of the biggest lies in Dobson’s comic: The idea, that THIS Batman is the one that’s been popular for the last 15 years or so, as STATED by Dobson himself in the second panel of his comic.

 No. No, this “Batman”, the violent psychopath who uses guns and drives a tank, is not the mainstream and never was so in the last 15 years. Or I should rather say 20. See, this comic was published like in 2015. Meaning he is referring to Batman from between 2000 till 2015.

Lets see what versions of Batman were popular at this point

So we got a Batman who was there for a girl dying cause of something done to her brain, a 60s inspired Batman who still was badass and worked well with other heroes and saved the world a few times, a videogame Batman who would not even have let the Joker die when his poison finally got the better of him (Arkham City), a Batman who travelled backwards through time into the present and then tried to use his fortune to support heroes in other parts of the world to do good (I acknowledge though, the Batman shooting Darkseid thing was crap, even if Darkseid is the god of evil in DC) and we even got (though not shown here) a Batman who even when he drove a freaking tank did not run over peolpe with it (Batman, Nolan trilogy) and would rather accept people hating him than being a hero, by taking on the blame of Harvey Dent being killed to not taint the laters reputation. Oh and did I forget to mention that Nolan’s Batman almost sacrificed himself to prevent Gotham from nuclear destruction?

And before someone says “gotch’ya” by pointing at another rinfamous work by Miller, known as the Dark Knight strikes again… I said popular. That comic from the early 2000s was not popular and again NOT referenced much by mainstream media or mainstream fans as good.

 Now I will say, Batman as in the mainstream comics at the same time got unfortunately darker to the degree I hinted on when I made this post. Cause the last 15 years were comic wise the time of Morrison, Scott and others in particular. Who were involved in such “brilliant” moves as the Court of Owls story, the introduction of Professor Pyg, turning Joker into a satanic archetype villain stu, Batman having the brilliant idea to go Big Brother Eye, the No Man’s Land shit, having to deal with more brutal murders than previously etc. Yes, mainstream Batman got more violent. But the violence was less in the character itself as more within the world he was part of. Mainstream Batman comics took on a more violent tone than there was before. But ironically, even if Batman had to face more brutal beatdowns and villains, by comparison he is one of the most “kind” characters compared to the ones he faces or even works with. This is a character who had to teach his own son that murder was not okay, cause the kid was raised by an evil murder cult.

 And even with the mainstream comics such as Detective Comics and Batman main series becoming darker… they are not pro-fascist or go into that direction. I read a lot of DC in general, not just Batman, and Batman is not going sieg heiling or beating up people because of the color of their skin or because they are poor. When Lex Luthor was president, Batman was one of the main heroes opposing him. Mainstream Batman is beating you up for being a murderer and highly violent criminal with a gimmick, independent of your political agenda. And the writers are also not pro fascist, including even post 2015 Frank Miller.

 Yeah. Frank Miller, whose work I am not fond of and who I think is a racist asshole who had things coming for Holy Terror,  is not really writing (or at least publishing) racist Batman anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I still think the guy is bad and I believe if he had a chance to get his opinion out unfiltered, we would be in for a shitstorm. But I actually read up on his Dark Knight 3: The Master Race thing because I was worried how racist that is and how DC would recover from that dud. Turned out… it was not as bad as you would expect with a title like this. The “Master Race” referred in that story to a group of racist kryptonians who thought they should take over earth because their powers made them superior. While Batman was not the most positive character in it, he was fighting against them with many other heroes. This Batman was actually a vast improvement personality wise from Batman in Dark Knight strikes again and All Star. So yeah, Batman written by racist grandfather was still a hero. Granted, I think a lot of that was also thanks to the fact that DC had partnered up Miller with someone who kept things tighter around him, but still. Fascist Batman is not a thing the comics and the majority of fans want.

 Ironically, if you want to see how a publisher taints the image of a hero people look up to by making him more racist… well, Dobson’s “praised” and woke Marvel did once something called Secret Empire. Which had Captain America turn into the Fuehrer and taking over America. And the Nazis for a lack of a better word, were “competent” enough in the story that the heroes really only won in parts thanks to a shitton of asspulls. So… yeah.

I mean, the event still ended with the good guys winning and the bad guys defeated, but still.

[thedcdunce]

The Riddler

“The future is a riddle only time can solve!” - The Riddler

Real Name: Edward Nashton

Aliases: 

Enigma

Edward Nigma

Gender: Male

Height: 6′ 1″

Weight: 183 lbs (83 kg)

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Black

Abilities:

Genius Level Intellect

Investigation

Escapology

Weaknesses:

Obsession

Equipment:

Riddler’s Staff

Universe: New Earth

Base of Operations: Gotham City

Marital Status: Single

Citizenship: American

First Appearance: Detective Comics #140 (October, 1948)

Abilities

Genius Level Intellect: The Riddler is a supreme problem-solver, criminal mastermind. He is a genius with brilliant deductive power. His mind excels with puzzles, minds games, and manipulations. Investigation: He possesses great deductive skills and analytic ability. Escapology: Riddler is adept in escapology. Since childhood Edward has been a big fan of the late great Harold Houdini. Using this skill to build his infamous elaborate death traps and easily escape handcuffs. Like the Joker, he can escape the high security hospital Arkham Asylum whenever he pleases.

Weaknesses

Obsession: His riddles are in fact a bizarre obsessive compulsion; his attempts to stop himself from sending them has met with failure time and time again. This extends to the fact he cannot simply kill his opponents when he has the upper hand, but prefers to put them in a deathtrap to see if he can devise a life and death intellectual challenge that the hero cannot escape. However, compared to Batman's other themed enemies, Riddler's compulsion is quite flexible, allowing him to commit any crime as long as he can describe it in a riddle or puzzle.

Equipment

Riddler's staff

History

Edward Nashton, who later changed his name to Edward Nigma, is the super-villain known as the Riddler. His signature gimmick is committing high-profile crimes, and giving clues or hints to law enforcement. This has made him an enemy of the Batman in Gotham City. The riddles are a compulsive obsession to prove he is smarter than others, and this has made him an occasional patient in Arkham Asylum.

Origins

Edward Nashton was born into a broken home. His mother was absent and his father was abusive. When Edward was a young boy, he became excited at the idea of winning a puzzle contest at school. To increase his likelihood of winning, Edward sneaked into school during the night and practiced the puzzle until he could solve it with ease. He ended up winning, and was awarded a riddle book as a prize. Since that time, he has mastered puzzles, mind games, and riddles.

Edward was profoundly intelligent and would pass tests with apparent ease, something his father, out of jealousy, couldn't or wouldn't believe; he therefore attributed his success to cheating and started beating on him to keep him 'out of trouble,' or to stop him from lying. Out of the abuse, Edward developed a compulsion he has became known for, he constantly endeavors to tell the truth to prove his innocence. This is where his obsession with riddles comes from. Unfortunately, the abuse is also a main factor that drove him mad and to a life of crime.

The Riddler

When Edward got older, he left home and became a carnival performer, using his skills to cheat carnival-goers out of their money. But this was not enough for him. He longed for something more, and became the Riddler, at the same time changing his name to Edward Nigma, picking The Batman as an adversary, as he believes him to be an intelligent and more-than-worthy opponent.

Starting out as a simple informant and criminal profiler for the underworld of Gotham City, as well as for Batman, the Riddler slowly became more of a villain to Batman. It wasn't long before he became a main adversary to the Caped Crusader, constantly testing his analytical abilities to their limits.

The Long Halloween

During the events of the Long Halloween the Riddler became an informant for Gotham city crime lord Carmine Falcone. When a serial killer known as Holiday began targeting Falcone's associates, Carmine hired the Riddler to discover the killer's identity. However, the Riddler's results displeased Falcone, and the gangster even laughed at him, when the Riddler suggested that Carmine himself was the killer. The Riddler later became one of Holiday's victims, but much to the Riddler's confusion, was purposely left unharmed. A year later, Batman consulted Riddler about a second Holiday killer called Hangman.

Career Criminal

Over the years, the Riddler would earn his living through various heists and robberies, working his way up the criminal food chain, eventually even securing himself a couple of henchwomen to do his bidding. Later in his career, after his exploits have been well established for some time, he attempts a heist in Manchester, Alabama, only to be thwarted by Impulse, whose problem-solving skills he severely underestimates after Impulse initially confuses him for The Question.

Dark Knight, Dark City

The Riddler becomes darker and more bloodthirsty when he takes an interest in occult rituals. He discovers instructions on how to tame a bat daemon called Barbatos, originally summoned by Thomas Jefferson. The Riddler leads Batman around the city with a series of riddles, designed to prepare Batman as a demonic sacrifice. To make Batman chase him, he kidnaps four babies. He tricks Batman into kissing a hanged man through CPR, and covers him in blood at a transfusion center. The next step is a dance with the dead, accomplished through zombie robots, then slaying a dog with silver. He forces Batman to slit the throat of an unbaptized child, by leaving him with a baby who needs an emergency tracheotomy. Finally he makes Batman do an acrobatic dance in front of a goat representing the devil, by attacking him with a flamethrower. Batman is captured and tied to an altar. The Riddler prepares to stab Batman in the heart, but the demon Barbatos intervenes to stop him. The Riddler flees in terror and torches the building, but Batman is able to escape.

Knightfall

Riddler was back in action, but he was attacked by Bane, who dosed Riddler with Venom. Batman tried to stop Riddler, but he was too strong and Batman was tired. Bane's henchmen shot Riddler under Bane's command leaving Riddler badly injured.

His stay in Arkham was short lived as Bane released all the inmates as a plan to eliminate Batman. Riddler escaped as well, gathered his old gang and started planning his next move. Riddler sent a letter to the Gotham City Police Department, but they were too busy with all the other criminals from Arkham and Riddler's letters got overlooked in the situation. After a while, his own henchmen got tired of waiting for the police to notice the clues and they ditched Riddler out of the score. On an attempt to be noticed, Riddler went to a live TV broadcast, armed with bombs and took over the show. He delivered his riddles to the audience, but nobody was able to answer them. Riddler was soon stopped by Robin, who watched the TV, learned of his move and arrived at the TV station in no time. The bomb turned out to be fake and Riddler was captured and taken back to Arkham.

Hush

The Riddler is diagnosed with terminal cancer, so he cures himself by stealing one of Ra's al Ghul's Lazarus Pits. This grants him a temporary clarity, and he finally figures out that Bruce Wayne is Batman. He tries to sell this cure to a rich doctor named Thomas Elliot, whose parents also died of cancer. Elliot hates Bruce Wayne, and they decide to work together to destroy Batman. Elliot becomes the villain Hush, and the Riddler designs an intricate plan. This involves enlisting or manipulating Catwoman, Clayface, Harley Quinn, Huntress, Jason Todd, The Joker, Killer Croc, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, and Superman. Batman and Nightwing actually fight the Riddler during this time when he robs an armored car. They assume the Riddler is too pathetic to be involved. Hush loses to Batman, and Batman figures out that the Riddler was the mastermind. Batman explains that a riddle everyone knows the answer to is worthless, so he knows the Riddler will keep his secret. Ra's al Ghul will also have his League of Assassins kill the Riddler if they ever discover what happened. Batman punches the Riddler, tells a security guard that he fell, and leaves Arkham Asylum.

After the Hush incident, Riddler escaped from Arkham and sought Poison Ivy's protection from Hush and from the League of Assassins. However, Ivy was equally mad at him after he used her on his "Hush" scheme and she attacked Riddler as soon as he stepped into her lair. Riddler tried to escape, but Ivy wouldn't let him go. Riddler finally gave up and asked Ivy to kill him and finish his pain. However, she refused, leaving Riddler helpless in a catatonic state.

Downfall and New Start

Later, Elliott reappeared demanding from the Riddler the location of the Lazarus Pit. When Riddler refused to answer, he was brutally beaten. Seeking refuge, the Riddler went to the Joker and the Penguin. He tries to bargain with the Joker for asylum and he agrees but eventually his safety is compromised and he is forced to go on the run again. He asks Poison Ivy for asylum, both of whom remembered his manipulation and the meeting didn't go well. At a loss, the Riddler went into a downward spiral of insanity and became homeless. He eventually was found by a ex-NASA decoder who helped him recover his mind. It is during this time that the Riddler has an induced flashback about his childhood, he comes to the realization of what happened when he was abused and why. He also deduces the reason behind why he has the compulsion he has for riddles.

Using his vast fortune, acquired over many years of crime, he gets minor plastic surgery and extensive tattooing. He covers the majority of his torso with his trademark question mark insignia. He kills the Codebreaker, who has discovered his secret identity and steals a priceless scroll, before Batman can get to it. It was at this time that Riddler starting amassing a huge fortune legally and attacking various heroes to prove his abilities.

During this time, he had a run in with Green Arrow, Arsenal and the Outsiders. The Riddler is up for revenge against his defeat by the Green Arrow and he brutally injures and almost kills the the two archers. If not for the timely arrival of the Outsiders they may have been killed. Before these events, the Riddler was hired to steal artifacts imbued with mystical powers from one of Star City's museums, and then distract the authorities so that the related rituals could be commenced. He sends Team Arrow on a wild goose chase around the City, and then reveals that he has an atomic bomb housed in the stadium where the Star City Rockets play. However, as a side effect of the ritual performed with the artifacts, the city is plunged into complete darkness, and Green Arrow uses this to his advantage, to capture the Riddler.

Infinite Crisis

The Riddler was with a group of villains attacking the Gotham City Police Department. He later escaped from Arkham Asylum after a worldwide breakout by the Secret Society of Super Villains. He then is along with the Society when they attack Metropolis. He is defeated by the Shining Knight and is struck in the head by the Knight's mace.

One Year Later

The Riddler was sent into a coma when he was hit in the head by the Shining Knight's mace. When the Riddler awoke a year later, without his obsessive compulsive fixation for riddles but still possesses his great intellect and enormous ego. He also suffers from memory loss forgetting his own name for a while and not remembering that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but he is suspicious. With the Penguin's advice, he was reformed and then became a private investigator at which he legally develops even more of a fortune. He was finally on the right side of the law using his great talents for the good of the people.

He even becomes involved in a ship bound murder mystery alongside Batman, while deducing a part of the mystery, Batman deduces the real reason. In the end they both did there part in solving the crime and have become hostile allies. He is then hired by Bruce Wayne to find a experimental drug stolen from Wayne Enterprises. In the end with the help of a reformed Harley Quinn he gets the drug back and returns it to the rightful owners.

In a run in with Mary Marvel he describes to her how he is reformed, the two then join forces against Clayface, where Edward gets to see up front how twisted and cruel she has become with a great power. He suggests that she gets a mentor or some anger management.

Even Nightwing hired him to find out who was behind recent string of museum robberies, whom he later saves from gang warfare while investigating Penguin's involvement in organized crime. He later deduces that Nightwing is Dick Grayson.

During his time as detective, word about Batman's death started to spread. As crime became more violent in Gotham, he was approached by Penguin who wanted Nigma's service as an investigator to find the new Black Mask that started operating in Gotham. To help his investigation, he recruited Harley Quinn and later Poison Ivy joined their efforts. On this quest, Riddler became the man who helped Quinn, Ivy and Catwoman to become a team.

Fun Facts

In many other realities, the Riddler's birth name is Edward Nigma, Edward Nygma, E. Nigma or even Edward E. Nigma. However, the New Earth Riddler was born Edward Nashton and changed his name to Edward Nigma later in life.

Jim Gordon has mentioned that several Gotham criminals have their own codewords. These are special phrases they can say when they call the GCPD, to distinguish them from prank phone calls. The Riddler chose "Oedipus" as his codeword, because Oedipus solved the riddle of the Sphinx. Gordon remarks that this is strange, because medical records suggest the Riddler hated his own mother. The Riddler's codeword for Batman is "The Hanging Man."

The Riddler's online screen name is "Wizard101." This might be a reference to the game of the same name, which was released the same year as Detective Comics #845, the issue where this username was used.

[leiko-skyline]

A Prom In Paris: Chapter 4 (Dresses)

(Click here for Chapter 1)

Content Warning: Mylène is portrayed as having unhealthy body image, and I write using her mindset in the beginning. If you wish to skip over this, start reading from the bold print (Papillon's words) in the early-middle of the chapter.

Disclaimer at the Bottom.

Mylène wrestled another dress onto its hanger. She had been shopping since school got out, and it was nearly seven and she had neither eaten nor found a dress that fit. Not even one that she liked; one that fit.

"Are there any more?" she asked the lady at the counter.

The lady at the counter sighed and stood up. "Let me check," she said, going into the back.

Mylène looked herself in the mirror. Short, she thought, trying to stand taller. Lumpy. Heavy. Not even pretty.

Ivan had told her so many times that she was beautiful. It didn't make her feel any better. She wondered – if her boyfriend's affirmations didn't make her feel better about herself, would anything?

She hadn't worn a dress since école primaire, when childrens' dresses stopped fitting her. The more dresses she tried, the more she worried that nothing would fit. Worse, each dress that didn't fit – didn't make it past her hips, didn't zip up, fit too tight in one place and too loose in another – further affirmed what she was thinking as she tried them on.

Lumpy.

Heavy.

Not even pretty.

The lady returned with a dress. Mylène's breath caught in her chest – it was the color of the sky, with a layered skirt and cloth flowers traveling up to one shoulder. It was a little wider than the other dresses – maybe this would fit.

"Go ahead and try this on," the lady said, handing her the dress.

"Thank you!" said Mylène, taking it and bolting into the dressing room.

She hung the dress on the rack and just stared at it for a moment. There was a warmth spreading from her heart that said, this is the one. This is the dress that will make me pretty.

Actually, maybe it was, Please fit me. Nothing else has all afternoon. Please, I'm begging you. It was hard to say which.

Mylène took a deep breath and started to try it on.

It was the kind that lacked a zipper and had to go over her head. The waist had trouble making it past her torso, but a few wiggles and it was down. Mylène held her breath as she moved the straps to her shoulders. She turned around to face the mirror.

And, well.

It wasn't perfect. The bust was just a tiny bit large, and it only fit if she sucked her stomach in. But she could do that, right?

It wasn't a success so much as a, Well, this is good enough. But this was by far the best she had found in four hours, and she had math homework to do, and this dress would work.

Mylène started to take it off. She pulled the skirt over her head.

And then she was stuck.

She squirmed, trying to get the waist back over her chest. She heard a rip at her side and stopped moving.

Oh no.

She moved carefully and heard another rip. She froze with her arms and skirt stuck over her head, the dress definitely damaged and stuck at her chest and it was getting hard to breathe and through the rip in the side she could see herself in the mirror, her bare lower half which was–

Lumpy.

Tears rose through her throat to her eyes.

Heavy.

I just want to fit into a dress again, she thought, starting to cry.

Not even pretty.

Metamorph – I will give you the power to have any shape, and fit anywhere. In return, you must obtain the Miraculous for me.

"I will, Papillon."

"There's got to be something!"

"He likes Jagged Stone. Sing him a Jagged Stone song?"

"I'd be so nervous, I'd sing off-key the entire time."

"Marinette, you can't just shut down every idea I give you."

"Logic. I'm being logical."

"Sure, sure. You've logicked your way through Jagged Stone, any and every kind of food, posters, flowers, and even reenacting a Chat Noir and Ladybug adventure. Which sounded great to me."

Marinette shuddered just thinking about that last one. "Adrien isn't dorky enough to play Chat Noir."

"Maybe you could just kidnap him."

"Alyaaaaaaa…"

Alya stretched and yawned. "Let's take a break. It's already seven."

Marinette sighed and stood up. "I think my dad made dinner, are you hungry?"

"Am I ever."

Marinette's dad was burning the food. "Sorry about this," he said, serving the quiche onto plates. "I got distracted by the news."

Marinette glanced over. Her heart sank as she saw the unmistakable live footage of an akumatized villain.

"I'm sure it's great as always," said Alya, bringing plates to the table.

"I gotta– I left something at school. I'll be right back," said Marinette, rushing for the door.

"It can wait until we after we eat, right?" said her dad.

"School will be closed by then. Don't wait for me."

She flew out the door. Alya and Marinette's dad exchanged a glance and a shrug.

"Your daughter's a strange one," said Alya.

"You're telling me?" said Monsieur Dupain-Cheng.

Chat Noir sat atop a building, waiting. Normally he'd have plunged right into battle. But for a few reasons, he needed to talk to Ladybug first.

Not because of prom. He was trying to bury the prom reason underneath the duty reasons.

"Hey. What did I miss?" Ladybug said, landing next to him.

"Not much. She's tearing up the boutique down there. The shop owners ran away. Problem is, I can't pick out the akuma."

Ladybug squinted at the boutique below. She caught a glimpse of something hot pink wearing a blue dress.

"That's not Horrificator, is it?"

"I don't think so? She looks more human than Horrificator did. No tail, fewer eyes. But it might be Mylène again."

Ladybug prepped her yoyo. "All right, let's go check it out."

They landed and entered the boutique. The outline of a butterfly flashed around not-Horrificator's face. "Glad you showed up!" she said. "Why don't we skip the part where I fight you and win, and you just hand me your Miraculous now?"

"Ooh," said Chat Noir. "I'm very convinced. You really have a way with words."

He and Ladybug walked forward slowly. "Mylène, why are you doing this? What happened?" Ladybug asked.

"My name is Metamorph, not Mylène. Until Papillon found me, I couldn't find a dress that fit. Now, I fit any dress, and everyone else can feel my pain of searching and finding nothing." She reached out and pulled a glittery gold dress off a rack, and ripped it in two.

The fashion designer part of Ladybug cringed internally. "I guess it's the dress," she whispered to Chat Noir.

"We have to rip her dress off?" He sounded horrified.

"I mean, Horrificator didn't wear clothes." Chat Noir didn't seem convinced. "It'll be all right. You can look the other way."

"I'd rather you ad-dress that situation."

"If you're not going to hand them to me peacefully," said Metamorph, "I guess we'll do this the hard way."

She pulled five clothing hangers off a rack and threw them at Ladybug and Chat Noir. Chat Noir used his stick to bat them away, but too late, Ladybug realized it was a distraction.

"Watch o–"

Two full racks of clothes hit them from both sides. It was a soft landing, due to the clothes, but the racks stuck, pinning them in heavy winter coats. Ladybug struggled to get her arm out in the open. Metamorph advanced on them, grinning.

Chat Noir extended his stick in the middle of a mass of clothes, pushing everything off of one rack. They jumped out of the trap and ran at Metamorph. Right as they were about to reach her, she seemed to collapse to the floor. Something pink slithered out of the bottom of the dress and up into another one hanging on the wall. Metamorph took shape as a smaller version of herself, fitting into the child-size dress exactly.

Chat Noir picked up the dress she'd been wearing and tore it in half – nothing happened. "Well… hm."

The gears in Ladybug's head were whirling madly. If she was trying on dresses when she was akumatized, then there's a high probability she wasn't wearing much when it happened… So it would have to be the dress, in theory.

Wait, if she was trying on dresses…

"Chat Noir, hold her off," Ladybug told him, darting towards the changing rooms. Metamorph shoved another rack of clothes at him; he leapt over it and took a swing at her. She melted out of the child's dress and took shape in a yellow sundress.

Ladybug, meanwhile, ran in and out of the dressing rooms. She found a prom dress in one, but tearing it in half resulted in nothing.

Ladybug entered the seventh room and heard the door lock behind her, and was promptly tackled by Metamorph, whose body took on just the shape she needed to hold Ladybug down and reach for her ear–

"Cataclysm!"

The door shattered. Chat Noir put his baton between Metamorph and Ladybug and pulled Metamorph off of her.

"Lucky charm!" Ladybug yelled. From her yoyo fell a red-and-black spotted…

…thermos…

She looked around. At first nothing stood out, but then she noticed the jewelry for sale at the front counter.

Chat Noir was still wrestling with Metamorph, only stopping her from taking his ring by gripping his baton tightly. Ladybug's yoyo grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away. Chat Noir prepared to fight Metamorph with her, but he realized there was something glittery flying in a gentle arc towards him. He caught it, looked at it, and immediately knew what had to be done.

"Hey! Metamorph!" he called.

Ladybug and Metamorph looked up from their fight to see him waving his ring in the air.

"Want my Miraculous? You'll have to catch it!"

He threw the ring. Ladybug and Metamorph both ran for it. Ladybug opened the thermos and reached up, catching the ring inside it; Metamorph, not to be outdone, shrank and leapt into the thermos to get it. Ladybug shut the thermos.

"A perfect fit!" she said.

They moved quickly, hoping Metamorph wouldn't run out of air. On the floor of the very last changing room lay a prom dress, the deep violet color of an akuma. Chat Noir tore the dress, Ladybug caught the akuma that emerged, and Mylène appeared outside the thermos.

"Miraculous Ladybug!" Ladybug cried, tossing her Lucky Charm in the air. With a whoosh, the boutique fell back into order, the akuma's destruction erased.

"Mylène, are you all right?" Ladybug asked.

"Yeah, what happened?"

"You were akumatized."

"Did I hurt anyone?"

"Nope. Just some dresses. And they're all right now."

Mylène drooped a little. "Okay. That's good."

Ladybug noticed. "What's wrong?"

Mylène was staring at the ground. "I couldn't find a dress that fit," she mumbled.

"Hm…" Ladybug looked at Chat Noir, then at the store, then at Mylène. "I think I know a place that'll work."

Ladybug and Mylène started to leave the store, Chat Noir lagging a little behind them. While the girls talked, his heart was pounding.

Akuma's been defeated. Now is the time.

She's gonna say no.

Stop being a fraidy-cat!

Why is this so difficult?

His ring beeped. Ladybug turned around. "Ah, your ring. You're running out of time," she said.

I sure am.

"I need to talk to you," he said.

She hesitated. "Okay. What is it?"

Chat Noir glanced at Mylène.

She needs to prioritize Mylène right now, because Mylène is still sad and was just akumatized and could be akumatized again, and did her earring just beep? She needs to hurry. Also she's not going to say yes anyways she's going to say no she's going to say no.

The wall between his heart and his vocal chords pushed down on his words until they fizzed out.

"Never mind," he said quickly. "See you later."

He ran.

"What in the name of camembert was that?"

"Forget it, Plagg."

"Forget it? You've never been like this before! You were once again – once again, this isn't the first time – going to ask the love of your life to the prom, and once again – once again! – you chicken out?"

"What am I supposed to… How do I…" He groaned and flopped on his bed. "I don't know what's happening! I don't understand it! The moment comes and suddenly my heart's beating too fast and my head's a jumble and I can't do it!"

"Well, don't just give up on it!"

"I'm not giving up. That would be a lot easier, and a lot less stress, but I'm not giving up."

Mylène was unsure about the plus-size boutique for a bit, but after Ladybug convinced her that it was more of a this-store-sells-clothes-in-your-size thing than whatever preconceived notion Mylène had (at least, tried to convince her), they went for it. Mylène took a few dresses into the changing room; Ladybug went into another stall to detransform for a bit and feed Tikki.

Mylène was on her own. She took a deep breath.

Here goes, she thought.

For a bit she was concerned the first dress wouldn't get past her hips, but the zipper wasn't all the way down. It slid on easily and zipped up comfortably. Mylène realized she could relax and still feel comfortable in it. She turned around to look herself in the mirror.

Oh! she thought, stunned. I look…

She thought about it for a minute.

I look pretty okay, she thought.

She tried on the others. One of the dresses – it was light pink, with sheer lacy shoulders, a bright sash across the waist, and a knee-length skirt made from layers of some kind of shimmery sheer pink material. Mylène zipped it up and turned around.

The background noise within her faded away, as though her head and her heart had stopped talking to look. Mylène twirled for the full effect. The skirt floofed out a little and she giggled.

She looked up and caught the expression on her glowing face. Words couldn't… she couldn't… It was perfect.

I feel like a princess.

It was a much shorter shopping trip. Mylène paid for the dress, thanked Ladybug, and brought home the dress that made her feel like a princess. She'd thought before that the dress would make her feel pretty again, and it kind of did, but in more of a roundabout way – through her smile, her eyes, the glow she gave off – than just decoration.

Ladybug didn't need to tell her she was pretty. Ivan told her often, and it hadn't ever affected her. Now, Mylène felt it anyways.

Better. I feel… beautiful.

It must not have been up to them, after all.

(A/N: Disclaimer: I really think the canon Mylène is good with her body image – I've never noticed her express discomfort in her body, although I don't think any other character has either. I also want to say that I didn't pick Mylène because her body type must inherently mean she's insecure (which, obviously, isn't so).

I chose Mylène (and this topic, for that matter) because her body type most mirrors the insecurities I used to have. I've wanted to incorporate this story into a piece for ages, but my pokemon fanfic never gave me the chance, whereas for this one, the opportunity presented itself with a fanfare and confetti. I mean, prom? Dresses? All it was missing is... well, a lot, but I can write about that later. For now, this was something I'd wanted to get off my chest, and Mylène was unfortunate enough to play me.

I would further like to point out that Mylène doesn't feel pretty just because she found pretty clothes. What the dress in the end did was let her see herself in a new light, and thus come to terms with her own body.)

(Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (You are here!) (Chapter 5)

[sure-as-eggs]

I feel like I’m missing something. Isn’t Ed making fun of Oswald’s limp/appearance just Ed being a villain? Shouldn’t he BE awful? I feel like people are holding him to good-guy standards. I hope this isn’t offensive. I’m just confused why people are mad that a villain is being a villain.

That’s a fair question, and I can absolutely tell that it was asked in good faith, so don’t worry!

I 100% agree that, as literal super-villains, the members of Gotham’s rogues’ gallery have to be interpreted a little differently than standard “good guy” characters… Oswald’s return to form after Arkham involves murder and cannibalism, and you kinda just go “oh hey, he’s back!!” Trying to keep track of who cut whose hands off so you know what to expect out of future alliances isn’t necessarily a ‘normal’ thing.

Let me see if I can try to explain why mocking someone’s disability or tapping into anti-Semitic tropes for a costume feels different to me…

One big problem here, right off the bat, is that Ed is a character we’re meant to root for.   He’s written to be sympathetic. We’re supposed to feel bad when bad things happen to him, and happy when he’s happy. Even in the scene when he’s literally strangled his girlfriend to death, the tragic music swells behind him as he sobs over her body, and it’s entirely his fault but his feelings are still just as important to the scene as his actions.

By comparison, the narrative never really sets us up to empathize with, say, Jerome or Jervis. I’m not saying you can’t do it, just that the show doesn’t expect you to. It is clearly not espousing the viewpoints it puts in Jerome’s mouth when he kidnaps Bruce: we’re supposed to be on Bruce’s side. We’re supposed to be happy when he wins and Jerome loses. We can feel that.

On the other end of the spectrum, we are meant to be sad when Ed shoots Oswald. It has nothing to do with either of their moral standing; even Oswald admits that murdering Isabella was a bad choice, though maybe not for reasons most people would be on board with. Oswald is a villain and a terrible person, and we are still supposed to care about him deeply and want him to be okay.

The upshot of all this is that the show has us primed to accept and excuse the things Ed does, to empathize with him and find some way to identify with him, or even to justify him. We forgive Sarah Essen for not standing up to the system. We forgive Harvey Bullock for his history of corruption. We (maybe, some of us,) forgive Lee for her self-destructive impulse to take the Tetch virus. We forgive Jim for whatever Thing he’s decided to do this week. We’re supposed to.

We forgive Oswald much worse acts. Again, we’re supposed to.

Would we forgive Ed more mundane cruelty? Are we supposed to?

There’s a different resonance to fantastical off-screen villainy like the way Oswald deals with his step-family than there would be to something immediate and petty and potentially familiar (potentially doable) like mocking someone’s limp. I really doubt many people out there have accidentally been tricked into eating their children, so it’s easy for all of us to move on from that scene. There’s a fairy-tale logic to it that we can all accept.

But I guarantee you that pretty much everybody with mobility issues has had to grin and bear it when somebody at some point in their life decided to play comedian. It’s not a fantasy to them. And it would hurt to see somebody they care about, even if they’re fictional, disrespect them.

…I’m going to risk getting too personal here and warn for self-harm for this next paragraph, so go ahead and skip ahead if you want, you won’t miss anything crucial, it’s just an example. I had a mild panic attack during the scene where Jim gets hit by the fear toxin and hallucinates Lee. I am years recovered, and I’ve handled scenes like Beth’s suicide attempt on The Walking Dead with little to no problem, but it took me quite a while to calm down from that scene because of how it was presented. It was framed as tragic and Bad, sure, but the lingering shot of the blood lapping between Lee’s breasts, the seductive “do it” whispers when Jim had the blade to his wrist… That scene didn’t reflect my experience. It didn’t CARE about my experience. That scene disappointed me after the excellent and nuanced way it handled Jim’s suicidal depression under hypnosis in Season Three, because it used something real people had really struggled with solely to create titillating drama for its fictional characters.

Okay, we’re good again. I’m not saying villains can’t be villains, or that dark themes and cruel actions can’t be portrayed, but we have to think about the reason we’re telling the story to begin with. If you hate Ed (and every other character) already for being immoral and a Bad Guy… Why are you watching the show?? If you write everybody off once they start down a villainous path, if you don’t empathize with them once they start taking actions you deem bad or wrong, if you’re not willing to suspend some disbelief and blur some lines to see through a character’s eyes, then who the hell are you left rooting for??

Again, if we weren’t supposed to care about Ed’s perspective, I think this would be a different issue. If I was sure the narrative would punish him for any Bad Guy shit he pulled, it would be another issue all over again. I’m thinking of Sal Maroni’s sexism in the Season One finale - that was GREAT. He was a bad guy being bad in a way that was going to hit home for female viewers, but nobody was rooting for him or thinking he was cool, and the climax of the scene was him getting shot in the face by somebody (a woman) whom we WERE supposed to think was cool.

It’s a badass scene with a sleazy character being sleazy and a violent character being violent, but it also conveys a message from the Real Live People running the show to the Real Live Audience: Sal Maroni is wrong. Sexism is wrong. Don’t do this in real life, don’t think you’re justified in pulling this shit, because it’s wrong.

Ed killing Kristen is another example I was really impressed with. Nobody pretends it’s anything but a horrific injustice, nobody on screen justifies it or wants it to have happened. Crucially, Ed himself knows it’s a tragedy. Seeing her killer regret what he’s done and continue to be haunted by it across seasons tells us that Kristen did nothing wrong, that it was a Bad Thing that should never have happened. Lee gets to voice that aloud, Jim gets to be disappointed and angry at the things Ed’s done. The viewers get a message completely separate from the act itself. The story goes out of its way to tell you that, even though you like Ed and care about him, there’s no excuse for his actions.

Who’s going to call him out for his anti-Semitic costume choices? Is Oswald going to bring it up if Ed is insensitive to his disability or mocks his mannerisms in a way that’s cruel to his sexuality? If it’s not addressed, then we have a problem. Because, while in-universe it might make perfect sense for Ed to be a total asshole, Ed isn’t real. And the people watching the show are. We tell stories for a reason, and if they result in anyone feeling justified in being more cruel or dehumanizing than they were before, then a mistake has been made.

…I’ve rambled for a long time here and I have no idea if I’ve made any sense.

Look, tl;dr: everybody watching Gotham has favorite characters, and all those characters have done terrible things. That’s OKAY. It’s natural to be fascinated and moved by the darker aspects of humanity. It’s healthy to stretch your empathy and your imagination. But at the end of the day, fiction becomes part of our reality. We carry things away with us. And stories have a responsibility to be cognizant of the messages and perspectives they’re supporting.

[mylordshesacactus]

Beginnings Must Be Clean: Why KOTOR’s Darkside Ending Is Most In Line With The Philosophy Of Star Wars

So, right off the bat, let’s establish something: I am not nor will I ever claim that the darkside playthrough is the morally correct choice. Darth Revan is a violent dictator. The darkside ending is evil, unequivocally, full stop. This is NOT a post going “Revan is just misunderstood!!! The Jedi are the REAL bad guys!!!edgy!”

I never said that the darkside decisions were right, better, or morally defensible. I said the darkside ending, the story told by the darkside ending, is infinitely more thematically consistent. 

Why is this? Well, let’s take a look at what are, in my opinion, the three major recurring themes in all Star Wars media. (Note: “Good vs Evil” is not going to count here; I’m talking about the major themes used to ILLUSTRATE the major, overarching premise of the battle between good and evil.) So what are those themes?

1. No Good Can Come Of Evil.

There’s a quote in the book The Romulan Way that I’ve adored since the moment I read it. And yes, that’s Star Trek, but it’s relevant here: “The structure of spacetime is more concerned with means than ends. Beginnings must be clean to be of profit.” And this statement conveniently sums up the underlying philosophy of Star Wars.

The Force, too, cares more for means than ends. This is one of the first things we learn about the Force. Why is it ominous and terrifying when a character reaches for the Dark Side? Because the Dark Side believes that the ends justify the means--and the results are always horrifying. Anakin punishes those who tortured an innocent woman to death, and makes the area safer for farmers--by giving into rage and hatred and slaughtering Sand People, even children not responsible for the atrocities committed by their parents. Ezra, spurred by his determination to resist the Empire, to fight the Inquisitor, reaches for the dark side and wrenches a massive, ancient creature under his will, he rips an Imperial soldier’s agency out of his skull and uses the man to kill other Imperials, allowing the mission to be a success. Barriss Offee, appalled by the wasteful violence of the war, aware of the Order’s hypocrisy, seeing all too clearly that their use of battle slaves, their unthinking willingness to be soldiers in an army fighting to deny other systems their right to self-determination, strikes out in anger and fear and frustration and kills innocents in a terrorist attack. 

Even Revan, in the beginning, saw the suffering of those killed by Mandalorians in senseless attacks and the bland, uncaring detachment of the order, and she set out to save the lives of those under her protection--and her frustration and anger at the Order for their unwillingness to act twisted into resentment and hatred and a sense of entitlement, and that was the beginning of the end.

Their goals, all of them, were admirable. The ends they sought to achieve were pure. But the Force is more concerned with means than ends. No good can come of evil. No cause is so pure, no person so inherently correct, no force so righteous, that it justifies the committing of atrocities in order to achieve its goal. There is always, always, a better way. However, this leads to the next recurring theme...

2. Redemption.

I am in blood stepped in so far, that should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er. Or, if you prefer a more modern quote: The moments when you’re in so deep, it feels easier to just swim down. 

This is the sentiment voiced by so many Star Wars villains (and Juhani, the actual worst Sith): that it’s too late for them. That they’ve committed such terrible acts, that they’ve been steeped in darkness for so long, that they might as well go all the way now. That there is no turning back, not anymore, not for them.

Star Wars unilaterally rejects this idea. It is never too late, for the simple reason that you can stop. You can recognize your actions, come to your senses. You can turn around. You can switch sides. There is no such thing as too late. You can say no. You can always, always choose to do the right thing this time. And that requires...

3. Choice

Everything you do is a choice. Every atrocity, every cruelty you commit, is a conscious decision, and every single time, you can choose not to do it. Yes, that might mean you die--but you can make that call. You can refuse. And in that vein, you have a responsibility to choose. You can choose to say no. You can choose to surrender, to face the consequences for your actions. Or you can choose to throw away an offer of mercy because of your bitterness, your resentment and anger. That, too, is your choice and yours alone.

But there is always a choice. If you make the evil one, it is no one’s responsibility but your own. To quote my favorite line in the entire Harry Potter series: “He would have killed me--!” “Then you should have died.”

Star Wars is about choice, because there can be no redemption without it.

And that, right there, is why the darkside playthrough is the one that falls in line with the underlying philosophy of Star Wars. Because it touches on all of these themes--and the lightside ending spits on them.

In the end, the rebirth of Revan, the destruction of the Republic, the Dark Lord Reborn, is a cautionary tale of what happens when the Jedi forget that first, cardinal theme: That no good can come of evil. That beginnings MUST be clean. That lies and deceit at the beginning will bear fruit by the end. The Jedi Council committed an act of evil. This is a fact. The end they sought to achieve (finding a way to defeat Malak) was pure, their motivation was admirable. But the means they chose were not. 

There were better ways, honest ways, clean ways. According to Bastila, Revan’s amnesia is naturally-occurring due to injuries from the blast. I believe she is being honest, but I also believe she is repeating what she was told by the Council--who openly do not trust her, and the statement may very well have been a white lie, but in this I provide the benefit of the doubt and I’ll take their word for it. They had, essentially, a clean slate. When Revan awoke, they could have told her everything and trusted that a person with no memory of the anger and resentment and corruption had the right to a chance to help. They could have offered her a plea bargain--she retained little or no knowledge of how to use the Force without retraining, she was not a threat to them in that condition. They could have told her nothing, only that she has amnesia, and then presented her with the opportunity to help the war effort. The bond with Bastila was already forged; they were sharing those memories whether they liked it or not. The web of lies and half-truths was not necessary. There were other ways.

They did not use those ways. Without her consent, without her knowledge, they created a new person--a Republic soldier, someone with beliefs and loyalties they themselves crafted--and they forcibly installed that person in Revan’s body. Furthermore, they did so in a way that the narrative explicitly parallels with Dark Side torture techniques--techniques the Jedi and the Republic vocally oppose as unconscionable. A Revan who learns of this manipulation and dishonesty and hypocrisy and reacts with rage, throws herself back to the Dark Side, is the natural progression of a terrible sequence of events.

I do not believe the Jedi Order is evil. I believe, desperate, spurred by the fear and exhaustion of a war they could not afford to lose, they had allowed themselves to make...exceptions. Little ones. But there is no such thing; one thing we know about the Dark Side is that once you touch it, once you give in to those dark gnawing emotions, it will get easier and easier to justify doing it again. I believe they gave in because they thought their cause was worth it. I believe that’s an incredible, and incredibly human, piece of storytelling. I believe it’s what makes the story of Revan a tragedy.

Because in destroying her agency, trying to control her? They took away any hope of redemption. Even the lightside playthrough? THAT IS NOT A REDEMPTION ARC. Redemption requires three things: A character must fully feel and understand the depths of the pain they have caused, the evil they have been a part of; they must feel true remorse for the actions themselves (not the consequences). They must acknowledge that there is no excuse. And they must work to make amends--yes, even if that means submitting to execution or imprisonment because there are things that cannot be forgiven.

But by creating this new person--a person with thoughts, feelings, memories, a whole life, who has no memory of being Revan at all and did not even exist until after Revan was captured, who has never committed any atrocities? They deny Revan any chance at redemption. How can this person feel the pain of crimes they have no memory of? How can they feel true remorse for the actions of a completely different person, someone whose actions they are not responsible for and had no control over? Is it even fair to ask that of them--that they shoulder such pain, when they were created by the Jedi Council and are not responsible for any of it? Can you punish this innocent person? 

Even if she stays in the Light, it was not “the redemption of Revan” because Revan never volunteered for this, never made a conscious decision. There is no redemption without choice, because making the choice is what redeems you; being kidnapped, mindwiped, and replaced with a different person who makes different choices isn’t actually the same as acknowledging and accepting responsibility for your actions. That’s just [insert name here] confusedly doing her job while everyone around her calls her by someone else’s name. That’s like if tomorrow morning someone told you that you’re actually an infamous dictator but don’t remember. You continuing to live as a normal person and only occasionally having weird dreams of that dictator’s memory isn’t them being redeemed; you’re not them.

Redemption is hard, and it has to be earned. The Council in KOTOR tried to cheat their way around it--and I understand why. But beginnings must be clean, and no good can come of evil. The story of Revan--what I admit I think of as the TRUE story of Revan--shows us why.

[theelasilonews]

THE NIGHMARE THING

By Destiny Flynn (via The Vortex)

((CW: Murder/death, serial killers, inhumane medical experimentation))

I was really pretty dubious when Parker messaged me asking me to do this piece for the Vortex. Frankly, I've spent so long working in an audio/visual medium that I'm not sure I can still accurately convey genuine thoughts or feelings without the piles of seemingly irrelevant visual assets slapped on top, but hey. We all have to push our comfort zones sometimes, right?

I guess before I get into it I should warn Parker's regular audience that I'm going to get into some pretty heavy shit in this one about real people who've been murdered or disappeared. My tone, if you're not familiar with my work, is a little bit flip, and I don't want to make anyone think that I'm making light of these situations. Humor is how I cope with bullshit, but if you'd rather not subject yourself to that, maybe give this one a miss.

That said: The Nightmare Thing.

So, for those of you who are neither regular viewers of my channel, nor longtime followers of the Vortex, there's a fairly well-supported theory in the underground El Asilo community that Vantage Corp. has something to do with El Asilo, CA's astronomical rate of missing persons cases. Parker has written on this on his twitter feed and this blog before, and I have a few videos on the topic on my channel as well. However, as you might have noticed, this theory is difficult to substantiate. Well, Destiny; why's that?

For one, people who disappear in El Asilo tend not to be very high profile, and oftentimes few people really notice them missing Families and friends make a stink about it, of course, but what can a few people really do against the full force of Vantage's insidious legion of public relations personnel? Not a whole fucking lot, turns out.

The second reason for this is that El Asilo also has the largest number of serial killers per capita of any city in the United States. Serial killers aren't exactly the most predictable group of criminals in the world, but most of the ones here don't exactly have a vested interest in leaving...how shall we say? Identifiable bodies. This makes them REMARKABLY good scapegoats. There's nothing we can do to PROVE that any given missing person didn't just fall victim to Joe the Slasher 'round the block, even if when taken as a whole, the numbers don't come close to lining up.

This is not to say that the only victims of the fucking...void monster that I suppose we're supposed to believe is eating all of El Asilo's missing people are obscure nobodies. I point you to Atlas, Junesong, and Eraser, the heroes implicated in the Vantage Day parade bombing, whose case never went to trial. Or to Slightgeist, Miss Miracle, Deaddrop, or Nebulara, all heroes who disappeared without a trace within the last ten years. But with the public approval rating for heroes and vigilantes declining at a steady rate over that same time period driving heroic fan-followings directly into the Earth's core, not many people have paid attention to a few heroes dropping off the map.

Enter Nightmare.

Nightmare, civilian name Christina Karim, was a supervillain and serial killer active in El Asilo between December 2015 and February 2016, when she was famously turned in to the police by fellow criminal Penny Dreadful on Valentine's day. For those of you living under a rock (or outside the city, where I understand news does not often reach) at that time, Nightmare was a rather unartistic career criminal who worked with her partner and sometime girlfriend Cupid, occasionally killing people for shits and giggles. The pair famously killed an El Asilo University pre-law student, shoved her body into a swimming pool locker, and waited for student and police to recover the body.

The circumstances of Nightmare's arrest are largely inconsequential to the funtimes journey I'm taking y'all on, but seem to be mainly tied to Nightmare and Cupid carving out territory which began to infringe one that of Dreadful's gang. The actually important part here is that Nightmare and Cupid were phenomenally well-known and almost universally reviled, in part due to their large social media presence. Both villains blogged regularly about their exploits on social media, and Nightmare's blog is still publicly accessible through the archive on ap3nnyforyourthoughts, Penny Dreadful's public blog. Nightmare's powers (the ability to sense and manipulate fear) were also fairly striking, which brought her quite a bit of villain cred. Because of these and the attention-grabbing nature of their crimes, Nightmare and Cupid received plenty of media attention, and were still well in the midst of their fifteen minutes of fame when Nightmare was abruptly kidnapped and turned over to the EAPD.

"Well, Destiny," I imagine you're thinking at this point, "If Nightmare was so damn infamous at that point in time, her trial should have been a pretty big deal, right? How come I've never heard anything about it?"

And that's a REALLY REALLY GOOD QUESTION, hypothetical strawman reader upon whomst I am projecting the next point of this lengthy and indecipherable diatribe.

The answer is that by all means, this should have been a huge deal. At a time before Smilin' Milo or Chiron reached much public recognition, where the only other serial killer with that level of public caché was Goodknight, this should have been the trial of the god damn CENTURY. Instead?

Nothing.

No hearings. No trial. No plea bargains, no lawyers, no records, no nothing. Just like Atlas, Junesong, and Eraser before her, Nightmare seemed to essentially evaporate into thin air. But why? How does a well-known serial killer just disappear out of jail without a bat of an eye? Well, there are a few theories.

The first, and in my opinion least plausible, theory is that Nightmare is just dead. The theory goes that Vantage took her out in prison before any momentum could build surrounding her trial, for some unknown reason. But I really don't find this one very compelling. First off, there's absolutely no evidence to suggest its' veracity. I know that's a common thread when it comes to your friendly neighborhood megacorp's misdeeds, but this one is especially shaky. What reason would Vantage have for this not to go to trial? Putting Nightmare on display and basking in the glory for putting an end to her terror ought to have been a FANTASTIC photo op. And, as far as Vantage is concerned, losing someone with her powers would have been an enormous waste of resources. Why? Stay tuned, listeners.

The second theory holds that Nightmare, like many criminals before her, was recruited out of her jail cell for Vantage's worst-kept secret; their covert assassination division. It's not as though this hasn't happened before (check my video on the subject for more info,) but Nightmare's circumstances cast some doubt on this theory as well. Readers. I've, like, READ Nightmare's blog. Evidence makes it clear that she was something of an egomaniac. She moved in on Greenback territory because other people having power threatened her. She displayed her crimes publicly because she needed the acknowledgement, often to the detriment of her crime career. It may be just me, but I don't think that's the kind of personality that particularly lends itself to a line of work where one's every move would be controlled by someone else.

And then there's the fact that, since her arrest, Nightmare has clearly not been in touch with her girlfriend, who has been publicly grieving for over a year. One would think that, were Nightmare able to act freely, she would have at least contacted the only person who seemed to matter to her. (NOTE: I attempted to reach Cupid for comment on this article. I was, uh. Not successful. So the possibility remains that something happened behind the scenes.)

Which brings us to the third and most compelling theory. This theory holds that Nightmare IS in Vantage's custody, but not their employ. Remember how, before, I mentioned that she had some incredibly interesting powers? I'm sure Vantage does. I know this theory is probably going to be the most wildly out there for folks who aren't chin-deep in esoteric real-world conspiracy theorist refuse the way I am, but hang on for me here.

There's another theory, a theory that's been around almost as long as Vantage's hold on the city itself. A theory that beyond all the shady Vantage-sponsored legislation, beyond their trapping an ENTIRE CITY in a snowglobe, beyond their sinister anti-hero agenda or even their poorly disguised assassination department, there lie even deeper and more vile atrocities. This theory is that Vantage is running sinister human experimentation somewhere on their premises, largely on supers. Parker has covered some of the evidence for this concept in his post on the El Asilo Monorail Project, and I have a broader video upcoming, but the evidence is there when you know where to look. From employee social media accounts sneaking secrets out into limited follower groups to anecdotes from those claiming to be escapees, there's a lot to sift through, and I'm promising here to go though it later in a way that y'all can actually digest.

But for now...it does sort of explain the circumstances, doesn't it? Frankly, it's the only explanation for the disappearance anyone has posited so far that lines both Nightmare's motivations and Vantage's up with the facts.

As it is, right now the Nightmare Defense is one of the most common arguments for the idea that Vantage is, at least in part, behind a portion of the missing people in El Asilo. After all, if not that, then where the FUCK is Christina Karim?

Anyway, that's all they wrote. If you found this useful or entertaining, you'll probably like Parker's stuff, so please follow The Vortex. And if you want to support what I do, try following me and giving me money so I don't starve and can afford to keep making videos of my inane ranting layered over visuals designed to entrap your attention and distract from the fact that I'm going on for fifteen full minutes about something you don't and will not ever believe because Vantage's agenda is so deeply ingrained in the collective subconscious that it actively discourages resistance and most of you don't even know it's happening.

[PATREON LINK] [KO-FI LINK] [YOUTUBE CHANNEL LINK]

[mst3kproject]

Curse of the Aztec Mummy

I was not prepared for this movie.  This is, of course, the second movie in the series of which The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy represents the third, and I was ready for it to be just as boring, shitty, and full of padding as its successor.  When I actually watched it, however... well... it is boring, and it is shitty, and it is padded, but it isn't any of those things as much as the robot one. In fact, it turned out to be almost... I won't say good, but it was definitely weirder and more interesting than I had ever imagined.

I was wrong about another thing, too: it is evident from Curse of the Aztec Mummy that Dr. Krupp was not reconned into the first movie later.  He and the ridiculous snake pit in his laboratory were part of the plot from the very beginning.  We weren't watching a staff of writers run out of ideas.  We were watching a staff of writers who never had any ideas to begin with.

But with that said... holy shit, stuff happens in this movie!  As it opens, the Bat has just been arrested, and everybody's gone home intending to live happily ever after.  But all is not well – Krupp's two henchmen (their names appear to be Lilac and Bear) are still on the loose, and they manage to spring their boss from prison despite the interference of an incompetent luchador who calls himself the Angel.  The rest you know if you've seen The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy, and indeed you saw most of it: Krupp still wants that Aztec treasure, so he kidnaps Flora and hypnotizes her so she’ll tell him where to find the breastplate and bracelet containing the map.  Then he blackmails Eduardo into translating the hieroglyphics for him.  In the nick of time, Popoka the mummy shows up to beat some bad guy ass, which he does with a bit more enthusiasm than he would do robot ass a movie later.

You may be wondering why the Angel wasn't in any of the flashbacks in Robot. Honestly, I was, too, since he's by far the most memorable and fun thing Curse has to offer.  Then I realized: it's because he's completely useless and really has no effect on the story.  Every time the Angel tries to stop Krupp and his henchmen, he fails,  He spends more time tied to a chair, unconscious on the road, or dangling over a snake pit than he does punching bad guys!  Samson vs the Vampire Women was pretty ridiculous and its 'hero' didn't come across as very heroic, but he did defeat the villains and save the girl at the end.  The Angel is basically just a way to make the story longer.

In Samson vs the Vampire Women, Samson's identity was a mystery.  In Curse of the Aztec Mummy, the Angel's is, too – but this time, the mystery is actually given some resolution.  The Angel turns out to be a character we’ve met, and it is believable that this guy knows the things he knows and wants to help Eduardo and Flora in particular.  It comes so close to being important to the plot, but then the Angel himself accomplishes practically nothing.

On the other hand, Samson made rather more sense as a superhero.  He clearly existed outside of this one story we were being told: he had his wrestling career and people outside the main cast recognize him. The Angel appears out of nowhere and is given no context.  Eduardo and Flora have never heard of him before their first meeting, and he doesn't really seem to know what he's doing.  He comes across as a guy who probably got the costume cheap and decided to give superheroing a go just to see what it was like.  This is his first time out in the tights and cape, and it doesn't go well.

The Mummy isn't in this movie nearly as much as the Angel is but does way more.  He wakes up in his pyramid when the bad guys come to steal his stuff, and swoops in at the end to beat the crap out of everybody and throw Krupp in his own snake pit.  He's more or less a deus ex machina, but at least he's an effective one.  I think he actually moves faster this time, too, managing to achieve almost a normal walking speed, and he throws goons around as if he’s not quite half asleep.  The final fight scene is disappointingly short, but it's way more fun than the lousy tussel with the robot.

Like Robot, Curse has to give us the backstory of the film before it, the one the current audience may not have watched. So place your bets, folks – do we see the exact same Singing Aztec Sacrifice Scene as we did in the flashbacks of The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy?  Time's up!  What did you risk?  All of it?  Well, congratulations, because you are correct!  The flashback is much more bearable in Curse of the Aztec Mummy, though, partly because there's just not as much of it (only one movie to recap this time) and partly because of its placement.  This time we only get the flashback after some action has happened to catch our interest and make us curious about these characters – it's still forced exposition, but it's much, much better forced exposition.

Flora actually evinces some character in this movie, too.  In Robot she was utterly disposable.  Here, Krupp describes her as 'rebellious' and we do see a bit of that, although the awkward dubbing probably waters it down a lot.  She declares that she will not allow Krupp to hypnotize her, as Eduardo has taught her how to resist his control – indeed, Krupp is obliged to drug her in order to put her under, and even then he says she's fighting him. It's not really a substitute for her having an actual personality but eh, it's something.

She also very quietly subverts a common trope – the Evil Stepmother. Flora's status as Eduardo's second wife could have been used to introduce stereotypical family tension into the movie, which would distract from the main plot but be very cheap, since it would have consisted of nothing but actors shouting at each other.  Instead, however, the story establishes that Flora's stepdaughter accepts and even adores her, and she is a welcome part of this multigenerational family – the plot is padded out instead by the antics of the Angel, which are no more useful but far more entertaining.  That's really very refreshing.

I'm not sure this movie has any intentional message, but while watching it I did find it made me think about the different kinds of value an object might have.  The central conflict of the story surrounds the Aztec Treasure and the incompatible forms of value assigned to it by the different characters.  The treasure obviously has monetary value – Mesoamerican cultures are famous for having had absurd quantities of gold sitting around before Europe showed up to rob them blind and give them smallpox.  This is the form of value that Krupp places on the treasure.  Mad Science is expensive and he hopes to fund his research.  The fact that by doing so he may rob the artifacts of their artistic value (say by melting it down into gold bars) is of no interest to him.

Krupp's plan is also at odds with the spiritual value of the treasure, assigned by the people who originally hid it. To them it was an offering to the gods, and its value lies in its potential for placating them or winning their favour.  Taking it away from its resting place back into the human world actually deprives it of any value in their eyes, and thus the need to set a supernatural guardian over it.

The movie does not delve into the historical value of the treasure, and so we can save a discussion of that concept for when I get around to reviewing The Thing that Couldn't Die. There is, however, a third type of value present here: to Eduardo and Flora, the treasure actually has a negative personal value, in that its presense is a source of stress and trouble to them.  When asked to choose a side in the struggle between its monetary and spiritual value they choose Popoka's, but only because that is the option that causes them the least problems.  Flora is the reincarnation of Zochi, whose death is intimately linked with the treasure itself.  She can have peace to live her life only when the treasure is not a part of it.

That's about it.  The movie is better than the one that followed it, but “better than The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy” is a bar so low, Ned the Nanite would have to bend down to walk under it.  This movie sucks big time.  It's got an annoying little kid and the music frequently sounds like Frere Jacques.  The Bat's hideout amusingly seems to be in a suburban house, and I think Eduardo's cowardly assistant is called Pinkeye.  Gangsters fire guns by shaking them a bit while the sound guys dub in machine gun noises – there's no smoke or muzzle flash, and it's hilarious.  None of Krupp's decisions about who to kidnap, beat up, or kill at any given point make a whole lot of sense, but Luis Aceves Castañeda still looks like he's having a great time.

Bad as it still is, I can't help thinking that if Curse of the Aztec Mummy is as much of a step down from the original Aztec Mummy as its own sequel was from itself, then the first movie might well have been almost mediocre.  There's also a fourth in the series: The Wrestling Women vs the Aztec Mummy. If the pattern holds, that one is probably awful enough to make people's heads explode.

I can't decide which to look for first.